#i feel really bad rn

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[rapidhighway]

sanic ✌ for the au perhaps? idk

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanart #art #digital art #sonic #sth #fanart #ive been getting easily distracted from my aus recently which is horrible #but i guess im just too ambitious all the time and get scared -_- #idk ive been feeling really bad about drawing lately i just dont really feel good about any of my drawings rn #like i like this one but idk i just dont feel excited about it... #idk what to do abt it #id like to get into one of my aus for once #but i just feel nothing rn.. #OK WAHTEVERRR this was a cool pose #so i gave him so shoes to go with it

[i-write-you-songs]

Thank god for my drama teacher today omg

so I started to have a panic attack and I could feel myself getting restless so I assumed I just needed a moment so I sat in the script library (a little closer in the drama room) and after like 30 seconds my breathing begun to pick up and I felt a wave of panic at the idea of facing the others and other people looking at me while I'm stressed but eventually I had to come out cause my teacher wanted to know why in the world i was still in the script library and i made it about halfway across the room before I broke down and covered my ears and face and started hyperventilating

everything became like 10x louder and brighter and I felt like puking and I barely remember my teachers voice saying something and him gently guiding me elsewhere and I know that I managed to choke out an 'I can't breathe' to him

everything was like super foggy and I remember that he gave me his chair to sit in for a moment but I just kind of sat there, chest heaving, shaking, and crying for like two minutes before he moved me back into the script library for an entire hour

THAT is how you calm down a kid is give them space to breathe, if they are comfortably I'd say rub their shoulder (that's what he did and it helped ground me) and talk to them like super gently

#phobia speaks #I feel really bad rn #But thank god for mr white #Panic attacks

[duckdodger]

btw I did these mm klunk & mikey doodles . The cure to all my problems .

#either Mikey lied abt fearing cats or he really is and Klunk was the first cat Mikey wasn’t afraid of LOL #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #mutant mayhem #tmnt mutant mayhem #tales of the tmnt #my art #srry for no real art this weekend :(( #I feel bad for anyone that had a cold + being on ur period AT THE SAME TIME . I’m fighting for my life rn

[temeyes]

sigh,, more suckyshima,,,

#ashahsah i'm actually in a bad mood rn so i drew tsukki again to calm down......... sowee to my cod bitches </3 #i think i'm going back to my haikyuu era?? im not really sure!! still feeling things out #my art #2024 #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #hq #hq!! #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #tsukki #haikyuu tsukishima #haikyuu tsukki #art #fanart #digital art #digital drawing #sketch #doodle #anime #manga

[ink-the-artist]

holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare

#also people are misatributing the quote to kuma and the first google result for the quote attributes it to them #which is kind of upsetting but not a huge deal whatever #its cool it seems to have entered culture like that #i get very mixed feelings about those instances where something I made got WAY more popular than i expected and #people are reposting it or using it without attributing it to me #i both feel bad when stuff isnt credited to me but also good that my art has expanded beyond my reach #its out of my control kind of and other people have it now #which IS what i want for my art and how i generally think art should be #but it is also obviously causes some anxiety to lose control and really full ownership of something that is yours #i think also there is anxiety about something of mine being taken by someone bigger than me #since they can just claim it as their own and most people will know them as the origin #not talking specifically about this quote btw just any of my work #ive definetly been thinking about that hbomberguy vid lol #i hope any of this made sense im a little high rn

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk. #I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive'' #but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this'' #''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?'' #And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

[silverskye13]

random thought, but i had a vivid image of, if helsknight and welsknight ever saw each other without armor (or just helsknight out of his armor tbh), helsknight showing welsknight the scar tanguish gave him and saying "this was intended for you."

i don't know how in character that is, but tbh it's haunting me. maybe it's part of helsknight's revenge against welsknight or something, calling out his unknightly behavior and unhonorable conduct.

"You didn't answer my summons."

Helsknight froze. It was a quick, momentary startle, a short-circuit of normality. The moment he did it, every instinct told him to keep moving. That old command [Do something.] blared loud in the quiet surprise of his mind. So he moved his hand to pick up the brush on his table, and pretended to be unconcerned.

"I'm not a dog. You can't call me to heel," Helsknight said simply. He smirked and growled, "Though if you feel like losing some limbs, feel free to try."

Behind him, Wels shifted uncomfortably. Helsknight liked making Wels uncomfortable, he didn't handle it well. He was a creature used to comfort and ease. Inconvenience often galled him more than a sword to the throat. Different tactics for different battlefields, and this battlefield was a delicate one.

Helsknight was cleaning his arms and armor, which was one of several reasons why he hasn't leaped for a fight when Welsknight had called him to one. He was only in a tunic and breeches. It was luck he even had his boots on. He had offered to run errands with Tanguish, but Tanguish had said he was visiting his church and wanted to go on rooftops. So Helsknight stayed home, and he left his boots on. That was the other reason Helsknight hadn't answered the call: Tanguish wouldn't know where he was, and he knew Tanguish got paranoid about being left behind. Besides, Helsknight had chores he could do at home [like cleaning his arms and armor] so he stayed. Cleaning the chainmail was almost a formality. Hels was hot and dry, and he wore it often enough that the rings clattering together cleaned themselves. But sometimes he just liked putting an extra shine on things, so he took out his brush and oil and started brushing it down for any miniscule specks of rust or broken links he could find.

Wels, always keen on the times he wasn't wanted, decided now was the perfect time to show up in his living room. He stood awkwardly, waiting on Helsknight to make some aggressive movement. When none came, he cautiously stalked further into the tiny living space. His emotions were loud and uncomfortable without the distance between their respective worlds to dampen them, and they clung like smoke against Helsknight's skin. Caution at an unfamiliar space. Disgruntlement at being ignored.

[Guilt, like ash on a burn.]

"Is this... Yours?" Wels asked, glancing around.

"No, I'm just squatting in a random house. Sounded like a fun way to spend a Tuesday."

Helsknight felt the ant-bite sting of vicarious agitation and smirked. He was already getting on Wels's nerves.

[Good.]

"Couldn't build something nicer?" Wels snapped impatiently.

"I'm a fighter."

Helsknight found a place on his chainmail to brush down and got to work. The rough, grating twinge of the coarse bristles on chain made Wels wince. Helsknight always found the noise pleasant. Like scratching an itch.

"So?"

"I have better things to do than spend hours building the perfect house."

Wels scoffed and looked around the room with renewed disdain. "Where's your little devil?"

It took Helsknight a moment to place what he was asking. He sneered, a quiet bearing of teeth, and caught the flicker of red in the reflective shine of his chainmail. Wels looked pointedly away from him.

[Like ash on a burn.]

"Not feeling remorse... are we, crusader?" Helsknight asked, finding a new place to polish. The coin-drop clatter of chain, and the shrill scrape of bristles filled the silence like an accusation.

"Of course not," Wels sniffed disdainfully, still refusing to meet Helsknight's eye.

"Careful." Helsknight murmured, that red flash reflecting off his chainmail again, anger simmering. "Lying's a sin."

"Why would I feel remorse for protecting my home?"

"A crusade well fought I'm sure."

"It's not a crusade!" Wels snapped, his own anger a living thing raising hackles. "A crusader invades! A crusader fights a holy war just for the principle."

"Right. And you're fighting because--"

"Because I'm protecting Tango."

"-because it's for his own good?"

Wels didn't exactly wince, but he did still, as though he'd heard someone draw a blade from its scabbard. Helsknight might as well have unseated his sword. He had stopped scrubbing, all pretense of work falling. The need to pace, to circle, to corner, rose up in Helsknight like a waking beast.

"Interesting choice of words. Protecting." Helsknight said, his voice low, his hands still. "I was under the impression they were friends. Do you often protect Tango from the people he's begging you to spare?"

"That doesn't matter." Wels said so firmly it was almost convincing. Almost. "People are convinced they need an abusive relationship. That doesn't change the fact it's bad for them."

"So many interesting words today," Helsknight hissed. He stood like a dark tower rising, all embered fury slowly stoking. Wels didn't bother turning to face him. He could feel his intent like thunder. "Abuse. Brings to mind the image of power. I do have a question."

"I didn't come here for your stupid questions."

"No, you came here looking for a fight."

"I didn't."

"You really do need to tame that lying tongue."

"I didn't come here for a fight."

"Did it feel powerful?" Helsknight demanded, pacing a step, and loathing the tiny room for denying him the space to circle. "The voice. The command. How did it feel."

"Shut up."

"To have someone begging you not to hurt them," Helsknight continued relentlessly. "Not your stupid play fighting on your stupid little server. True, shaking, terror. Did it feel good, crusader? Just?"

"I told you to shut up!" Wels shouted, taking a threatening step forward only to find Helsknight had closed the space between them and stood looming like a rook on a tombstone.

Fear, a caged thing howling, battered against Helsknight's anger. It made Helsknight feel almost giddy, the crash of malicious schadenfreude and self-righteousness against Wels; a flickering thing of brittle will. They made a terrible ouroboros together, fear feeding anger feeding elation feeding fear. They were always like this. No matter how calm either of them tried to be, once anger kindled in one, their emotions burned until there was nothing left but fury and loathing. Helsknight had been made to cut Wels down to size.

"Do you know what that kind of fear does to people?" Helsknight demanded again, his voice so near a whisper it was smothering. They were so close together, but they made so little noise, all will and wide eyes. "What happened to mercy for the helpless, crusader?"

"He wasn't helpless," Welsknight said, trying very hard not to back down. "He stabbed me."

"And a drowning rat bites. I wouldn't call it an apex predator. Certainly I wouldn't call it a danger to you, with your full armor and sword." Helsknight bared his teeth at Wels, something like a bitter grin. "I wasn't wearing armor."

Wels looked down, where Helsknight had drawn up his tunic to reveal the new scar in his abdomen. Wels looked like he'd stopped breathing.

"This was intended for you," Helsknight said. "You should thank me."

"You're-- you're here telling me he's harmless," Wels laughed nervously. "But he almost killed you. You."

Something in Helsknight snapped, and in the moment it took him to reach for it with white knuckles and compose it again, he'd shoved Wels hard in the chest. It didn't knock his other half off his feet, but he stumbled back hard enough hit the opposite wall. Not hard enough to hurt, but certainly hard enough to warn.

"He did," Helsknight snarled, pacing forward slow steps. "That's what terror does to helpless people, crusader. It makes them bite. It makes them beg. It makes them clamor to live. You. Did. That. What did it feel like to abuse that kind of power Wels? To turn someone into a scared animal? To make someone so desperate they would almost kill a friend? Did you find your righteousness there crusader?"

Helsknight didn't know what he planned on doing. Violence was in his blood like a serpent, and he wanted it. And Wels knew he wanted it. There was the ring of drawn metal, and the silver-bright glint of an enchanted blade in a dark room. Helsknight's advance stopped at the top of Wels's sword, not close enough to hurt, but close enough to warn.

"Stop." Wels said. A command. A plea.

"I'm unarmed."

"That doesn't matter."

Helsknight smiled, and there was loathing and euphoria in it, and the wine-dark dread of Wels right on the other side of it. The knowledge of a line crossed, a battle he hadn't even realized he was fighting made forfeit.

"Fine." Helsknight said. "My blood's already been spilled once on your behalf. At least this time do it with your own sword, coward. I'll make it easy for you."

He took a step forward, and nudged the blade with a knuckle, resting the point against his scar. The metal was cold, even through his shirt, the enchantments alive and writhing so close to his skin.

"How cruel have you gotten while I wasn't there to keep you in check, crusader?"

There was a long breath of silence between them. Helsknight stood, precarious and predatory, daring Wels to kill him. And Wels stood there, and dared himself to as well. And the room was dark, lit only by red anger and blue dread, and the pale, languid flicker of enchanted steel. And neither of them breathed. And the universe watched.

A loud clatter sounded on the roof. Both knights looked up towards the ceiling, Wels in startlement, and Helsknight in resignation.

"And he stays my hand once again," Helsknight sighed.

"What--?" Wels didn't get his full question out before Helsknight moved. He knocked the sword aside and lunged forward to grab Wels's shirt. In a move that would've made Martyn proud, he dragged Wels forward into his knee, knocking the wind out of him. In the time it took Wels to collapse to the floor, Helsknight had taken his sword, and held the point beneath his other half's chin.

"Go home Wels," Helsknight said, "before I send you there the hard way."

Wels, breathless on the ground, let out half a strangled laugh. "Why don't you?"

"Because I was asked nicely not to go running off and killing you."

"Helsknight?" A loud knock sounded at the door. Tanguish's voice, a bright comfort even in spite of its concern, called to him. "Is everything okay? I thought I heard something fall."

Helsknight glared meaningfully down at Wels, who only hesitated long enough for Helsknight to draw back the sword before slipping back to his world. The moment he did, Helsknight felt his breath leave him, the great void of being left to his own thoughts and emotions. In the wake of everything that was Wels, he felt ridiculous.

[What in hels had he even been about to do? Die on someone's sword to prove a point? Idiot.]

"Helsknight? The door is locked."

"I'm coming," Helsknight called, pausing only long enough to hide Wels's sword beneath the couch, where Tanguish couldn't see it and inevitably worried about it. He checked his tunic to make sure he hadn't managed to actually stab himself [he hadn't] and went to let Tanguish inside.

#rns ficlets #helsknight #welsknight #tanguish (kinda) #this one feels very dense and dramatic #i feel like wels actively seeks out hels when he feels guilty / bad / self loathing #its like a compulsion: punishing yourself because you did wrong #even though its ultimately unproductive #also something something helsknight making some kind of point about how #instilling terror in something to confirm your bias that its dangerous #is more even than the terrified thing causing harm #case and point i scared you into drawing your sword on an unarmed man #i dont know im tired and that was a really badass phrase to just drop on me anon #*evil not even alskdjfjf im going to bed

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[pirateshavefeelingstoo]

I think I really need someone to touch me. Not in a sexual way or anything, just in the way where I really badly need a hug or just for someone to touch me in a way that feels intentional and like.. loving, in any sense of the word. Not like they have to or like we’re trying to accomplish something. And not like it’s an accident or an afterthought. I want someone to hug me or hold my neck or hold my hand or put their hand on my leg or put their arm around my waist or just something that’s not accidental or in passing

#i’m sick rn #or my allergies are bad #or something #idrk what’s going on rn #but I don’t feel good #and it makes me really want someone to just #like #idk #take care of me?? #but not really even that?? #I just want someone to be here and to care and be allowed or able to show that they care #idrk what I’m asking for even #wlw #wlw yearning #bi #bi yearning #lesbian #lesbian yearning #sapphic #sapphic yearning

[pineappical]

in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue 😊

there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.

and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know ted’s story isn’t done yet when he still hasn’t learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) 🥺

I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it 💛

#ted lasso #trent crimm #tedependent #ted lasso fanart #tedtrent #ted x trent #I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BTW its just that its 4am rn and i cannot type down my thoughts for the life of me </3 #im just so not over that ending and how weird it felt for ted to end his story like that.. not like he can turn back to michelle since #dr. jacob is right there.. i want this man to feel loved and cared for and actually have a place he knows he can call home and that was #richmond for me.. to the family we were born with. and to the family we make along the way etc etc etc #ted lasso spoilers #<- FORGOT ABOUT THAT. #i can finally say i loved the ending for all the callbacks and stuff but I NEED THIS MAN TO BE HELDDDD!!!!! *everything explodes around me* #he even went back there WITHOUT BEARD :( his bestfriend for sooo long who was there for all their ups and downs. i dont like beard and jane #being together but the fact ted didnt even go to their wedding too like ...??! what is going onnnn #also graying lasso is just something so indulgent for me . hush #pn.art #JUST YKNOW!!! I HOPE YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING ITS REALLY REALLY LATE I PROBABLY SHOULDVE WAITED TILL LATER TO POST THIS BUT JAHJVAKDG #my memory is really bad too so i could also be misremembering scenes and im too eepy to check the scenes i had in mind so u_u #ALSO apologies that its taking me sooo long to draw things i recently joined a mc server and ive been playing it all day and night HFSJGFSH #im sooo scared of making these type of posts because i dont have the balls to make the wrong choices in other people's eyes but GRAAH!!!!! #<- i love tedtrent bUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK IM CRINGGGEEEE!!!!! #THATS ALL.... i have more drawings in mind that ill get around to later.. for now goodnight <3

[kalfui]

Spoilers for ep 7 and 8

Look. If I have to wait 4 more years for another episode, I am KILLING myself. I feel so bad for Alastor, his microphone BROKE, and he almost DIED. I am happy for Sir Pentious and the fact he went to heaven, but I can't stop thinking about Alastor it seems like he's being kept on a REALLY tight leash it's scary. His whole character is so different to me now just from two episodes, I am SO SCARED by what's gonna come in the future.

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #hazbin #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #sir pentious #lilith #lucifer #hazbin hotel episode 8 #charlie magne #vivienne medrano #i am actually scared #i wish the absolute best for alastor #i feel so bad for him hes.. pathetic rn #not into that i feel REALLY bad i hate seeing him pathetic #sigh #god please #i love him #i cried #i cry #i crode

[welcometogrouchland]

[ID: a digital drawing of characters from the owl house based on the song "up the wolves" by the mountain goats. At the top of the drawing there's a rectangular panel showing Camila and Eda. Camila looks out at the boiling isles at night with her bat. Eda mirrors her pose, with her arm covered in feathers. Shadows form to look like the collectors face, covering Eda's eyes and parts of Camila. Beneath this panel is a star with King and the Collector inside of it, holding hands and spinning midair. Beneath this is the archway portal from thanks to them, which is glowing, and at the bottom of the image is the hexsquad lined up in their designs from for the future, lit by the portal light and looking determinedly into the distance. The lyrics that span the image are "our mother has been absent/ever since we founded Rome/but there's gonna be a party when the wolf comes home". The background is black. End ID]

I knew I couldn't say goodbye to this show without redrawing one of my favorite old pieces, this lyric comic based on Up The Wolves by the mountain goats. I made it pre-ttt and was honestly really vindicated by all the wolf imagery that ep, lmao

#the owl house #toh #toh spoilers #watching and dreaming #luz noceda #hunter toh #willow park #amity blight #gus porter #eda clawthorne #king clawthorne #the collector toh #camila noceda #I REALLY DID DRAW 9 CHARACTERS FOR THIS DIDN'T I #hate this fucking show and the way it has constantly inspired me to push my own artistic boundaries. mad as hell about that #i don't have time for a full-on tag ramble rn but just know that i am so fucking sad about this show ending and fighting with myself #bc it feels like it'd be so much easier to like. shut my love for it off??? in order to not feel as bad about it ending #I've had a year or so with it (barely tho) surely this can satisfy me #but that's just. straight up not true and makes me feel bad in a whole different way #it is weird!! it's weird that this show I've watched 5 times over is ending and i might never get anything else from it #but I'm not gonna let that sour the show or fandom as a whole for me?? if that makes sense #i love this show top to bottom front to back. not bc it's perfect but bc it sees me and i love it for that #also it's really funny and beautiful and well written and. just. AUGHDHDJDJ!!!!!!! I'M NORMAL!!! #okay i have to go shower now #I'm going to gently leave this with you guys. i put a lot into her. do with it as you will #that's all #i love you 💖

[sampilled]

it's weird how in the flashback episodes we never really see sam as an angry kid when we hear so much about how he argued with john nonstop and how vocal he was about hating the life throughout the show, he's always portrayed as kinda timid and quiet.

the only time we see him act out like that (that i remember right now anyway) is in after school special and he spends the entire episode pushing it down and swallowing everything he wants to say until he is finally pushed too far

its almost like sam wasn't a horribly angry child (or adult)

#this goes doubly for early seasons sam who kept getting told he was so filled with rage #i also just think that its kinda bad writing. i feel like the writers forgot that sam was constantly standing up for him and dean never did #im also reading weechesters fics rn and the most frustraiting thing is reading a fic that portrays dean as the rebelious one who stood up t #john for sam #you literally have never watched the show ever #we also never really get to see teen sam which is so hurtful to me personally :( #i know it would have been difficult because sam was 22 in the pilot so people kinda know what teen him and early 20s dean look like #but i prommy people woyld have suspended their disbelief

[crybaby-bkg]

Arranged marriage AU with Barbarian Bakugou who is so daunting to be around at first. He’s all gruff curses and broad shoulders and scarred cheeks and neck and jaw. He scowls constantly, stares at you while your parents auction you off like some show pig, but doesn’t say much to you besides a grunt of his name. You’re terrified, thinking that he’ll be cruel to you, that you’re being set up for a life full of unhappiness and terror and regret.

But he’s the exact opposite. Bakugou is gentle in ways a man of his size typically wouldn’t be, but he shrinks himself for you. Not in a way that diminishes his status as the newly appointed king, but to respect you, show you that you’re beside him instead of behind him.

He picks you berries on his hunts because he knows the smell of a fresh kill brings nausea to your stomach. You find him along with the other maidens and helpers around his village, sitting beside them, big fingers holding tiny little flowers that he weaves into a crown for you. When he sets it on your head, he purses his lips, mutters something under his breath in his language that you’re still not too familiar with, but sure it means something along the lines of pretty and soft.

And when he finds you bathing in the river only few have access to, he’s sweet the whole time. Doesn’t make a spectacle of you being naked, and is relieved when you don’t instantly cower when he wades his way over to you. You try not to stare at the clawed scars that decorate his pec and jaw when he stands above you, and it helps when he suddenly dumps water all over your head. He shushes you when you splutter, continues on with cupping his hands and letting the water run off of your hair and down your shoulders, scrubbing at your skin until your flesh squeaks. He doesn’t expect you to do the same for him, but he hums in satisfaction when you push him down a little lower so you can wash the crown of his head.

#I don’t think I’ve ever actually written a full blown barbarian bkg fic which should be a crime #bc there are so many good ideas for it #but I’ve been struggling with writing creatively so I will put this idea as a full fic on the back burner for now lol #in the drafts for another 8 months! ☝🏻 #sorry I’m lying I’m about to write it rn aidsjdhdjf #anyway interaction has been so low and that doesn’t help with the low energy level when it comes to writing #I do it for myself but it’s a little sad when it feels like I’m talking to myself since I do that enough already lmfao #it’s the beginning of the semester tho so I GET IT bc I’m struggling to read too #this semester isn’t even all that hard but I’m so mentally checked out from school that everything is so much more complicated than need be #I just need a really long break to find myself #feels like I’ve been on go for a few months straight now #okay bye my stomach started cramping really bad which is a single to take my ass to bed lmfao #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #bakugou treats! 🍬

[americankimchi]

god i wish they hadn't retconned maul's death. i get wanting to explore more of his character because he was, objectively, one of the coolest star wars characters to ever hit the big screen and didn't get much screentime prior to his death, but also his role was fulfilled perfectly within those constraints so i wasn't too upset by it.

but by retconning it and making it so he never died it's like. okay. what now? the whole point (well, to me, ymmv of course) of the theed generator fight was that it was the first ever fight between the jedi and the sith in thousands of years, and that in the end even though the jedi (obi-wan) won the fight, a jedi (qui-gon) and a sith (maul) still died. a master and an apprentice dying together to herald the start of a new age/the return of the sith. perfectly paralleling the way in rotj a master (palps) and an apprentice (anakin/vader) died together to herald the return of the jedi. in both instances, a father figure (qui-gon/vader) dies in the arms of their son (obi-wan/luke) as a sith (palps/maul) is cast down into the abyss to their deaths. (palps being alive in the ST and retconning his death in rotj is also annoying for this reason)

i mean i like maul. don't get me wrong. he's an incredibly compelling character and i enjoy seeing more of him... but there's always the thought hovering in my mind like "he should be dead though. he should 100% be dead. this wouldn't be happening if he was dead, but i honestly would rather it not if it meant that maul was dead."

like the tpm fight just doesn't hit the same knowing that canonically he's just. going to become a robot octopus at some point. (shoutout to palps becoming sith glados in the ST) it cheapens the moment for me. it was supposed to be a moment of triumph marred by the deep and soul-crushing loss of a loved one and it's just... not, anymore. or at least not to the same extent. AUGH i'm just. frustrated. wish star wars as a whole wasn't constantly reframing/retconning what's been established. just puts a bad taste in my mouth.

#personal #star wars is HUGE #there's a GALAXY'S worth of stories to be told #and we're always for whatever reason focusing on this ONE PARTICULAR TIME PERIOD #it's suffocating #this is partly why i'm so excited to see the acolyte #it's a break from the skywalker saga #i love the skywalkers. i love the skywalker saga. #but that's also why i want them to STOP ADDING TO THEIR STORY #sometimes a story has a beginning middle and an end and that's okay! #that's fantastic! #we don't need to see between the lines! or behind the scenes! what if we just LEFT IT ALONE #AUGH #anyways. i don't know. i'm just frustrated with the state of star wars as a whole #it feels so claustrophobic right now. just because the space is there and undefined doesn't mean it needs to be filled #this constant push to canonize the years leading up to an event with content is so frustrating #negative space in an image isn't a bad thing it just helps guide the eye to what's most important #otherwise it gets too cluttered. too noisy. too DISTRACTING. #this was supposed to be about maul being alive but it's really about my ongoing grievances with how star wars is cannibalizing the movies #i'm tired of it........ tired i tell you #anyways that's all. real old man yells at cloud moment rn lmao