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#i like the personality i have. i like being ace. i made peace with it. i don’t like micro labels for myself about

yyokkki · 3 months

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The Prefect's Laugh

Dropping this monstrosity i wrote in September 2023 because I feel like I'm never going to leave this fandom.

First Years x gn! Prefect

Warning: I haven't played chapter 7, Prefect has a distinct personality so it doesn't really count as x reader but some people could find them relatable, a jumble of canon and non-canon events, mild cursing?

Divider by @saradika

It wasn’t that the Prefect never smiled. In fact, they may have smiled a little too often. It could be as simple as a wordless greeting or as complex as a way to cope with fear, but there was one particular expression the first years saw only once in a blue moon. The smile that comes alongside a fit of laughter.

The first time Ace saw the infamous Ramshackle Prefect smile like that was not too long after they had first met. It was a day or two after Heartslabyul’s housewarden overblotted and they’d finally gotten the rose garden in order.

While chatting about that day’s happenings, a rather embarrassing detail was brought up (embarrassing to Ace at least).

“Can we, like, NOT talk about this anymore??”

“I mean, the housewarden was really going in on you and you just stood there and took it but as soon as he said those things about the Prefect’s parents you didn’t even hold back. It’s weirdly sweet of him, right?”

Deuce looked towards the Prefect for their input to which they replied by fervently nodding their head.

“Wow, who could’ve guessed that maybe THE Ace Trappola cares about his friends??”

“…Honestly would’ve believed you more if you said you did it just to prove you could.”

“Pfft-“

Ace’s head whipped to the side, and he stared at the blooming smile on the Prefect’s face. Crinkled eyes, a hand in front of their mouth and slightly flushed cheeks as they tried to hold in their chuckles.

He wanted to make a snarky comment, something like, ‘I’ve been trying to make you laugh for the past two weeks and THIS Is what makes you break?’

Instead, what came out of his mouth was… Silence.

Maybe the new expression was too shocking as he just stared, five parts confusion, three parts embarrassment, two parts bashfulness. The most he could get out of them even with the most well-crafted jokes were slight smirks and yet something Deuce said without even intending to be funny made them crack.

He felt wronged.

And flustered.

…Shit, why are they kinda cute.

Going back to before the overblot, a day that Deuce personally considers more traumatising than his own housewarden’s mental breakdown.

Sorrowfully gazing upon the carnage of eggshells, whites and yolks jumbled up in the plastic bag branded with the words, Mr. S’ Mystery Shop, Deuce gave out another wistful sigh.

“I just hope those chicks can rest in peace.”

“…You know those eggs don't hatch into chickens, right?”

Shocked, flabbergasted, gobsmacked, stunned, stupefied, bowled-over; all words that could be used to describe Deuce Spade’s current state of mind.

“Wh- WHAT??? YOU’RE KIDDING.”

While Deuce was having an epiphany about the eggshell-shocking revelation, he noticed the Prefect’s slightly hunched over back and trembling frame. He was about to go comfort them when he saw their face…

And heard their laughter, ringing out like the sound of wind chimes swaying with the summer breeze, despite it being mid-September.

“YOU’RE LAUGHING???”

He looked at them with five parts feelings of betrayal, three parts despair and two parts anger. He was so offended that he immediately stormed off with the grocery bags in hand, huffing and puffing as he went on his unmerry way.

It wasn’t until later that the Prefect started feeling guilty about their reaction to the incident. It kind of felt like telling a little kid Santa wasn’t real…

They apologised, got him a book about the evolution of egg production, hugged it out and all was forgiven.

It wasn’t until much much later that Deuce Spade realised, he had only seen the Prefect laugh a handful of times, that incident taking up one of the spaces.

It had grown to become one of his favourite sounds in the world.

Jack Howl was never one for bad jokes or witty banter. Whenever he and the Prefect stood together, besides looking like a sturdy tree next to a swaying flower, they didn’t look friendly- much less like friends.

Only the two of them understood the solidarity that came with the silence. They were each others go-to when the other first years got too rowdy.

Truly the mom and dad of the group.

They would occasionally engage in conversation. Somehow when they were together, asking about each other’s day would lead to which parts of home they missed most now that they were away or embarrassing childhood memories, they hadn’t told anyone else about.

It was on a day like any other, a long while after the deep sea overblot.

Jack and the Prefect had finally started speaking to each other comfortably, yet most of their time together was spent just existing in the same room, doing their own thing.

It wasn’t awkward, at least not to the Prefect. But they had to ask just in case.

“Hey, do you ever feel like we don’t really talk when we hang out?”

“…Well, we are at the library.”

“I mean at other places too.”

Jack looked up from his notes, glancing at the Prefect with a little apprehension tracing his features.

“Why? You find it weird?”

“No, I like it a lot, just- I’m not used to it you know? Whether it’s the friends I’ve made here or my friends from back home they’ve never been the type to let the room stay quiet for over five seconds.”

They shifted slightly to cast an inquisitive glance over at him, “I can’t tell if you mind or not.”

Against his very own will, Jack’s tail started flowing slightly. So, they like being around him?

“I feel the same as you. I like our time together.”

Realising he sounded a little too soft, he immediately started backpedalling.

“Not that that means anything. I enjoy spending time with many people, doesn’t make you special.”

After finishing his piece, Jack looked back down at his notes, playing it cool. His tail, however, betrayed his feelings.

"Pfhaha, so cute, it’s like a helicopter-“

“…”

Not knowing how to defend himself, Jack got up to sit across the Ramshackle Prefect, blocking their view of his tail but giving him the perfect angle to catch all their expressions.

…It may be a little too late for him.

It all started with a godforsaken game of PG rated chicken.

Epel Felmier didn’t know whose dumb idea it was to hold a competition like this among all the first years but damn was he killin’ it.

It was almost too easy. It made him feel conflicted. Should he be happy that he’d somehow reached the finals? Or mad that it’s all cause of his face and build?? Either way, the prize was too good to pass up so he was gonna win.

So far he’d been flyin’ through with direct eye contact and a smile or two if his opponents were tougher but the final round had been filling him with a weird sense of dread, so he decided to prepare a little somethin’ special this time.

He doubted he’d have to use it though; he didn’t think very highly of the kids at NRC in this specific department…

That being until he got a text from the organiser telling him who his opponent was, that being: the Ramshackle Prefect.

Well shit.

He knew they never judged anybody, including him, for their appearance, and he’d always appreciated them for that. But in this context, it would make ‘em a tough nut to crack.

Not even mentioning, they knew his weakness when he didn’t have theirs.

He immediately pulled down their chat and started typing ferociously.

‘you. me. ramshackle lounge. after school. please?’ And send.

Might as well get a practise round in to scope the waters.

Luckily, the Prefect considered him a friend and wasn’t overly cautious, so not long after the text was sent an ‘ok’ was promptly sent back.

As soon as school let out, Epel ran into the Prefect in the mirror chamber, and they embarked towards Ramshackle dorm together.

He’d informed them of his intentions while on the way, so they got started after arriving.

First, he tried his usual techniques despite knowing they wouldn’t work. As expected, the Prefect didn’t so much as flinch.

Then they smiled warmly at him.

“Your training has been working out really well, I can see a little more definition on your arms. How do you even do it? What you lack in a natural constitution is already being made up for by your will and perseverence! It's really rare to find people like you out there.”

Shit, a genuine compliment about his mental and physical growth! That’s critical damage, how could they be so dirty, using his weakness against him?

Well, if that’s how they’re gonna play it.

Epel held up his two hands in front of him, forming a heart with his fingers.

The Prefect looked unfazed. They just smiled at him, mockingly (Epel’s perception).

Fine. He’s been left with no choice but to pull out his secret weapon.

“I-If you were a fruit, you’d be a FINEAPPLE!” Absolutely humiliating.

But also absolutely effective.

The Prefect’s mask started cracking at its seams.

“F-fineapple? I never thought I'd ever hear you say anything like that- Pfft hehe-“

He'd won, but his face was as red as his namesake as the visage of his Prefect’s tinted cheeks and choked back giggles entered his heart.

On the day of the competition, he lost miserably. The Prefect ended up passing the prize onto him, claiming they were only participating for fun, but he wasn’t really upset.

It’s for the best that no one else sees that face anyways.

Sebek Zigvolt’s sole purpose for living is to serve his young master as a reliable retainer.

In order to be reliable, he must excel in both academics and athletics. Athletics weren’t worth mentioning and he found all academic subjects easy enough.

All except for art, that is.

Making use of a medium to place your creative vision onto a surface sounded simple, yet the product had never lived up to his expectations, creating a habit of casting fire spells to burn the causes of his shame.

After yet another round of sweeping up the ashes of a canvas, he’d decided enough was enough. As unbecoming as it was, a good retainer would ask for help when he really needed it.

And he really really needed it.

His next course of action was to head over to the staff room and inquire with the Art professor for private lessons, only to be told that she had no empty slots in her schedule.

“If you don’t mind learning from another student, I recommend asking the Ramshackle Prefect to tutor you. They’re one of the best among their peers and I’ve seen them offering help to other students during my classes so I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”

That magicless human? He’d only ever spoken two or three sentences to them, and he couldn’t stand the uncouth beast following them around every hour of the day, but if they truly were one of the best…

Thus started a deal he would come to regret in the future.

The Prefect wasn’t a bad teacher. They’d gotten him to start on the basics before even thinking of the elaborate portraits he’d always been hellbent on doing.

Once he’d finally grasped the techniques needed, he immediately jumped onto the opportunity to paint his young master, using one of his sacred wallet sized photos as reference. The Prefect stood beside him the whole time, pointing out mistakes and fixing any parts he deemed unsatisfactory.

The only qualm he had was that they’d protested to his idea to paint a wall sized mural, stating that it was too advanced.

With a beautiful portrait in tow, he returned and hung it up near his shrine. It couldn’t compare to his young master’s radiance but it had been the best thing he’d ever painted and he was felling pleased with himself.

An idea came over him. He wouldn’t have been able to do this without their help after all…

And that was what led to him showing up at Ramshackle outside of lesson hours with a small canvas nervously clenched in his hands.

“Human. It didn’t turn out as well without your guidance, but this is a little token of appreciation for your help these past few weeks.” He pushed the portrait into the Prefects hands, ready to accept criticism.

“…”

“Human..?”

“…Pffhehe-, I never expected you to do something so heartfelt for a ‘dumb human’. Heh, I guess I really grew on you!”

“Why are you laughing?! ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME??”

If he had his sword on him he would be unsheathing it right now.

“No, no, thanks man, I love it.”

The brightest and most genuine smile he’d ever seen from them blossomed.

He felt his face burn and his heartbeat rise to an abnormal degree as the Prefect’s warm gaze felt as though it were boring into him.

…I must inquire with Master Lilia what hex this human has placed upon me. Right this instant!

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lelengerine · 19 days

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now playing... "show and tell"

pairing | basketball varsity!chenle x artist!reader

synopsis | draw a pretty boy and perhaps he'll come to you.

genre | just literal 3 am fluff thoughts, bball player chenle slight brainrot, no specific prns are used (lmk if there's anything i've missed!)

wc | 0.9k

notes | so... i'm back and it's been a long while 😄 kinda forgot about tumblr for a sec but i hope you guys still remember me TT i was pretty much in a slump + acads were crazy, however!!! i am back!!! somewhat!!! likes and feedback are always appreciated (also new post layout yayy)

m.list

the air inside the school’s gymnasium has always felt humid as it clings to your skin like a damp blanket. the place has the distinct scent of sweat — entire buckets of it actually — while the occasional skid of sneakers on the rubber floor sends involuntary shivers down your spine. it’s hardly a place one would choose for peace of mind, yet here you are, perched on the bleachers, busily drawing on your sketchpad all because of a boy.

honestly, you wouldn’t be willingly subjecting yourself to this either if he wasn’t so… pretty. he sported vibrant orange hair that matched him well, the tips sticking together from the sweat on his forehead. his cheeks were flushed from from the heat, but that didn’t bother him one bit as he energetically ran around the court. but it's his smile that captivates you the most, its brightness rivaling that of the sun, his eyes forming playful whiskers as they crinkle into crescents — a sight you've translated onto the pages of your sketchbook more times than you’d like to admit.

how were you supposed to turn down drawing someone like him as an art student? one that’s in an art slump no less.

curse all pretty men, you tell yourself as your pencil scritches over the surface of your sketchbook.

you weren’t even acquainted to him one bit. in fact, you’ve only learned of his name around a week ago? it was zhong chenle if your memory serves you right.

your friend had told you he was the famous ace of your school’s basketball team, mostly for being able to make shots from such large distances. she was shocked you weren’t even aware of the boy when he was usually the talk of the entire student body, especially during the time championship season rolls around.

hell, you don’t even care much for the sport, but he’s making you second guess that too with the way he moves so effortlessly — like he was made to play this sport. perhaps you could understand the infatuation many others harbor for him… just a tiny bit.

you continue your sketch nonetheless, stuck erasing and re-drawing a certain line that doesn’t want to bend in your favor. it seems to have taken all of your focus, as you don’t even register the sound of footsteps approaching you. a tap is placed on your shoulder, and you turn around to find the exact boy you’ve been drawing for the entirety of his varsity practice.

“is that supposed to be me?” his words are laced with intrigue, accompanied by a gentler smile than you're accustomed to, yet just as captivating in its own right — wait. why is he even here talking to you? peeking at your drawings no less?

“nope. it’s not.” you lie through your teeth without an ounce of hesitation, flipping to the cover of your sketchbook faster than he utter out another word.

“please, who else even has orange hair here?”

“who said the person i was drawing was even real? for all you know, he could be an anime character.” you counter, trying to deflect his curiosity.

“yeah, totally explains why you’ve been hanging out here more lately.” he retorts, raising his finger in mock admonishment, his playful smirk betraying his teasing tone. “don’t think i haven’t noticed you, cause i have.”

“what are you? some security guard keeping records of the people who come to the gym?” you muse, meeting his gaze with a hint of amusement.

he leans in a bit closer, voice lowering conspiratorially. “well, maybe I've been keeping an eye out for someone who appreciates my... what should i call it? anime character potential?”

your heart skips a beat at his proximity, but you maintain your playful demeanor. "oh, is that what you're calling it now? i just needed a little inspiration and the confines of the art room weren’t doing it for me.” technically what you said is true, he doesn’t need to know that he’s actually the main reason your artist block has subsided.

his grin widens, a playful sparkle in his eyes. “inspiration, huh? well, i can guarantee you'll be entertained with me around.”

“you don’t need to keep me entertained, i do that already on my own.”

“oh yeah? by watching me?”

“you just want to fuel your ego, don’t you.”

“maybe a little.” his eyes smile, voice taking on a teasing lilt, "what else have you been sketching lately? any other anime characters i should know about?"

you laugh, a nervous pitter patter dancing in your chest at the prospect of sharing more of your work with him. these were your prized possessions after all. "oh, you know, just the usual. random doodles here and there."

he only beams at your response, leaning back slightly as if to better admire your reaction. "well, i’d love to see more of your usual sometime. maybe you could show me what else you've got hidden in that sketchbook of yours."

the invitation catches you off guard, and for a moment, you're at a loss for words. "uh, sure. yeah, maybe sometime," you stammer, mentally kicking yourself for not sounding more confident in front of him.

but before the conversation can continue, a shrill whistle cuts through the air, signaling the end of chenle’s supposed water break. he glances towards the court, a regretful expression flickering across his face. "looks like i’ve got to go," he says, pushing himself off the bleachers and standing up. "but hey, don't forget about our little art show-and-tell date, okay?”

hold on, did he just call it a date? "hey, wait a moment-" you try calling after him, yet he's already disappeared onto the court. that wasn’t anywhere close to a proper invitation, but your heart flutters at the thought nonetheless.

fine, you conclude to yourself — if it’s a date he wants, then you suppose you could spare some more time for him.

#nct fluff #nct dream fluff #chenle fluff #zhong chenle fluff #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct drabbles #nct dream drabbles

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sanjisblackasswife · 1 year

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Little Things You Do That OP Men Love (SFW)

Black Fem Reader in Mind

Ft. Katakuri, Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Ace

Katakuri

He loves watching you eat with him, whether it’s donuts or just some other snack he likes how your cheeks get almost as big as his when you relax and stuff your face

He enjoys watching you try to fight him. You tend to throw hands with him a lot in a playful way, he’s a big mf so he really doesn’t feel much when you climb, slap, punch or kick him. He views it very cute when you do it when you get jealous or pouty.

To add on to that he loves how you were never afraid of him. Of course it took him sometimes to get used to the affection you gave him, and honestly he thought you’d leave after he showed you his teeth, but you fell more in love with him and he will always cherish you for that

Luffy

He loves how easy it is to make you laugh. He loves your laugh so much. When he first heard it he did such a wide smile, Robin swears up and down the first time he made you laugh that’s when he fell for you, but Luffy never understood why she said that. He tried everyday to hear you laugh at least once regardless if you hate it or not. You look best when you smile.

The way you always share your food with him. I mean yeah there are many things you do for him and sharing your food is one. He loves eating with you and bonding over food. He secretly likes when you feed the food to him too.

The way you take and wear his hat. He has only allowed very few people to wear/hold his hat but he only gives you the privilege of taking it when you want. You look better in it anyways.

The way you run and hug him when you see him. He is a touchy person naturally so when you first hugged him he literally could have melted in your touch. He thinks you’re so soft and smell SOOOO good. Many times after hugging Luffy he keeps his body wrapped around you.

Ace

He loves the way you talk. Whether you have an accent or not your voice gives him a peace of mind. You never yell at him or belittle him with your words. If you both aren’t bantering with each other Everything you speak towards him is all love and affirmation and he wouldn’t change it for the world

He loves how you admire small things about him. You always compliment his freckles, his hair, the way he dresses (even if he barely wears clothes) you’re just so positive around him. He does a small crooked smile when you do it.

The way you say “I love you.” To him. You’re one of the first few people next to his brothers and WB to show him what love really was and when Ace first heard you say that to him he cried.

How carefree you are around him. He notices the way you are more reserved with other around, but when you’re alone with him you are the complete opposite. Ace appreciate you have that kind of trust to be that vulnerable around him.

Sanji

Yes he loves everything about you BUT the one thing he loves the most is how your eyes light up every SINGLE time he walks into the room. Being played by so many women and not desired by many of them the fact that you’re probably the first to have a genuine happiness to have him around makes him feel so honored and loved.

The way you look at him has him on his knees. It’s similar to the first one, but sometimes you have this small low lidded gaze he can’t look away from. You make his cheeks on FIRE with that look! It’s not even intentional and he doesn’t even think you know but when your chin is rested on your hand and you watch him in admiration he gets so shy.

The way you touch him. He’s a touchy guy too, but how you sometimes fix his hair, adjust his tie, or even tie his shoes gets him going—-not ALWAYS in a sexual way but in a way where he will drown you in “I love you’s” for the gesture

He loves watching you talk about things you love to him. There were so many unknown and interesting facts about you he has learned while talking to you, you’re so expressive and fun to speak to. Some days when he isn’t having a love fit he just enjoys having a long and deep conversation.

How patient and gentle you are with him. You never have hit Sanji, pushed him away, cursed at him, or anything. You’ve always welcomed his lover boy antics and him as a whole. You’re so understanding when he screws up somehow that he believes one day you may leave him if he don’t get his act together, but you reassured him nothing could make you love him any less.

Zoro

How you motivate him, he doesn’t tell you of course but seeing you focused on getting stronger gives him the courage to keep going

The way you snap back at him. We all know this mf loves to make smart remarks but when you first clapped back he was so attracted to you . You don’t back down from talking crap to him and he loves that so much

The way you hold him., whether he admits it or not after a love making session or just when you both are sleeping he loves when you pull him into your chest and hold him tightly. Your touch is one of the few things that helps him have a sound mind and make him smile

When you fight, he does get a liiittllleee turned on seeing you work yourself up because you get so cocky and angry while fighting enemies, but he likes how quick you are on your feet (remember that scene where Zoro asks if Chopper is ganna be okay and he says yes and Zoro says “That’s my man” Akbshssskj he says “That’s my girl” to you when you fight )

How you trust him always made his heart flutter. You’re more than capable of fighting on your own, but it’s those moments where you don’t bat an eye to when an enemy is about to attack and you don’t worry because you know Zoro will come to your rescue. He’s asked you why tf do you act so careless when he is around but you smiled and told him, “Because I know a swordsman that will protect me.”

Ego boost.

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javierpena-inatacvest · 8 months

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Chapter 8: My Favorite Cowboy

Summary: After finding out things aren't going as planned with Javi's project on the ranch, you come over to help. You spend the day meeting Javi's dad, learning about the Peña ranch, and Javi surprising you with a night that you won't ever forget.

Word Count: 12.2K (I'm not sorry about it!!!)

Warnings: SMUT (18+, but it's the most romantic smut I've ever written UGH), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise, mentions of food/eating, mentions of grief/loss of a parent, Chucho Peña not letting his son have a moment of peace, Javi being a hot handsome cowboy, FLUFF FLUFF SO MUCH FLUFF Javi is a lovesick FOOL for you

A/N: Just when I thought I couldn't cram anymore in to this chapter, here we are. I wasn't planning on it ending the way it did but I literally just couldn't help myself because these two are so obsessed with each other that I'm not even mad about it. That's all I will say!!! As always, thank you so much for everyone who reads/commments/reblogs/is invested in this story, you all mean so much to me and appreciate all your kind words!!

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

As you hung up the phone with Javi, the reality of your conversation hit you like a ton of bricks. Not only had you just volunteered yourself to go over to Javi’s ranch for the first time, you had also signed up to meet his dad, bring them food, and help with their project? Today was turning out to be a much bigger day than anticipated. Of course you had wanted to see the Peña ranch and meet Javi’s father. Those were two things you knew were both incredibly important to him. That’s why it made you so nervous. You liked Javi. You more than liked him. You wanted more than anything to make a good impression when you met his family, and now that impression depended on a sandwich and your ability to build a fence.

Thankful you went to the grocery store yesterday, you stared at your fridge before collecting some lunch meat, cheese, and toppings. Unsure of what sandwiches the Peña men would want, you packed a cooler full of 10 different types, each labeled and wrapped in tinfoil, hoping there would be enough variety that they could find at least one they liked. You also threw in the rest of your chocolate chip cookies from last night, along with a bag of potato chips, a few cans of Coke and some bottles of beer. Staring at the cooler, you began to panic, fearing Javi’s dad was going to think you were a crazy person for showing up with so much food, but the thought of him thinking that you didn’t show up with enough was even more terrifying. Realizing that you had spent way longer than expected trying to perfect lunch, you quickly rushed to your room to try and pick out something to wear. Shuffling through your closet, you sighed to yourself, absolutely unsure of what to pick out. What the hell says I’ve missed my hot, sexy boyfriend, I’m excited to meet your dad for the first time, and I’m here to help you build a fence? Nothing. The answer is nothing. Knowing you were tight on time, you just had to go with the first outfit you pulled- denim shorts and a striped short sleeved t-shirt, throwing your hair half up in a clip, hoping to at least look semi-cute before you were a sweaty mess from the hot, Texan heat. Throwing on a little bit of makeup and a healthy dose of deodorant, you grabbed your purse, cooler, and Javi’s directions before heading out the door.

You couldn’t have been more grateful that your AC was deciding to cooperate in your car today, 1- Because your nerves already had you sweating enough, and 2- the fear of losing Javi’s directions out the open window of your car would have sent you over the edge. You drove the first half of your journey in silence, your free leg bouncing rapidly as you triple checked each turn on the directions. You tried to tell yourself there was nothing to worry about. You were a likable person, right? You pleaded with your brain to cut it out with the “what-if” scenarios, but you couldn’t help yourself.

What if his dad is annoyed you’re coming over? What if he’s mad about how much time Javi has been spending with you? What if he thinks that your sandwiches are the worst that he’s ever had in his life? What if he just doesn’t like you? Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

Your knuckles clenched the steering wheel, as you tried to think of something to snap you out of your stress. Pulling down your overhead visor, you plucked through the CD’s you had stashed up there, grabbing your favorite hype music you and your brothers played before every hockey game. Skipping through the first few tracks, you cranked up the volume as a loud “OI, OI, OI” blasted through the speakers. You weren’t really sure that T.N.T. by AC/DC was an appropriate song to settle your nerves before meeting your boyfriend’s dad for the first time, but by the end of the song, you felt a little more relieved. With only a few more turns left in your trip, you lowered your music and took a few more deep breaths, composing yourself as you found yourself on your last step of directions, making your way down a long, dirt road. Along both sides, the road was lined with bright green fields of farmland, the long grass gently swaying from the breeze. You passed a few ranches spread few and far between each other, turning your head as you drove by to make sure none of them were your destination. As you approached the 5th house on the right, according to Javi’s directions, you breathed a sigh of relief as you turned into the driveway, greeted by a weathered sign reading “Peña Ranch.”

The nervous feeling in your gut began to build again, palms sweaty as you pushed against the steering wheel, parking behind Javi’s truck like he had asked on the phone. As you turned off the ignition, you sat in your car for a few moments, working up your courage before exiting, grabbing your cooler and heading down the remainder of the gravel driveway to the front door. Looking around, you were amazed by the beautiful acres of farmland that surrounded the quaint ranch in front of you. Bushes of beautiful flowers lined the front of the house, colorful roses and hydrangeas creeping just below the big windows glistening in the sunshine. As you stepped on to the porch, you noticed two rocking chairs set side by side, slowly moving back and forth from the wind. You took one last deep breath as your free hand tightened to a fist, getting ready to tap on the front door.

Knock, knock, knock.

Nothing.

Knock, knock, knock. This time a little louder, more force behind your rapping knuckles.

Still silent.

“Hello?” you raised your voice slightly.

No response.

You stood there for a moment, wondering what to do. You weren’t just going to stand there like an idiot until someone came to answer, and you weren’t going to wander the property with a cooler full of sandwiches looking for Javi and his dad. You figured your next best bet was to try the door, hoping that maybe someone was inside and just hadn’t heard you. Hesitantly twisting the doorknob, you quietly let yourself in, gently closing the door behind you.

Peeking through the doorway, you were greeted by the warm interior of the Peña home. The walls were painted in a soft, creamy beige, covered by pictures and portraits of who you assumed to be friends and family. The first picture in the entryway was of a beautiful woman who looked like she was laughing and dancing. She had long, dark curls and a vibrant smile, her laugh lines stretched across her cheeks. It couldn’t have been anyone besides Javi’s mother, their faces were practically identical. As you stepped further into the house through the living room, you found a picture of a baby in nothing but giant cowboy boots, hat, and diaper. You giggled to yourself, knowing that it had to be a little baby Javi, drowning in whoever had put him in full cowboy attire.

“He was a cute baby, wasn’t he?”

The voice behind you had scared you so badly, you practically jumped through the roof.

“Oh, mija, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Chucho chuckled as you caught your breath.

“Mr. Peña, I’m so sorry, I tried to knock and no one answered and I didn’t want to wander around and go anywhere I shouldn’t and I-” You fumbled over your words, flustered and embarrassed that the first time Javi’s dad ever saw you was staring at a picture of your boyfriend in a diaper.

“Mija, sweetheart, please, call me Chucho. Señor Peña es mí papa. (Mr. Peña is my father.). You don’t need to apologize, that’s why the pictures are there, to be enjoyed. That one has always been one of my favorites.” He pointed back to Javi’s baby picture, you both laughing to yourselves.

“He was a very cute baby.” You set down your things, outstretching your hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Chucho, I’m-“

Before you could finish, Chucho had already wrapped you in his arms, embracing you in a tight hug. He held you there for a few seconds, smiles both stretching across your faces. “I know who you are, mija. I am so glad to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you.” He leaned back from your hug, still holding the sides of your arms as his eyes glistened. “It has been so long since I have seen my Javier so happy. He absolutely lov-”

“Pops! Give her some space, okay?” Javi’s familiar voice carried down the hallway behind you, cutting off the rest of his father’s sentence you were now very curious to hear the rest of. It didn’t take you long to become distracted by your thought, as Javi’s broad body strolled down the hallway, his gray t-shirt shirt clinging to his biceps, his sweat making his dark curls stick to his forehead. Even when he was a sweaty mess, he still looked delicious.

“Relájate, hijo. Quería saludarme a mí futura nuera.” (Relax son. I just wanted to say hello to my future daughter in law.) Chucho’s smirk couldn’t have been any bigger, and Javi’s cheeks couldn’t have been any redder.

“Pops, please stop.” Javi grumbled, obviously embarrassed.

“What’d you say? Sorry, I’ve been trying to work on my Spanish since moving here.” You tried to politely interject, very curious as to what was making Javi so flustered.

“Nothing, mija. Javier can tell you another time.” Chucho grinned, winking at his son as he rolled his eyes before burying his head in his hand.

“Alright.” You smiled at Javi, his face still flushed. “Well, I have lots of food if you’re hungry! I brought sandwiches, if that’s okay.” You held up your cooler, gesturing to its contents.

“Okay? More than okay, sweetheart. Thank you. I’m sure it is better than any lunch this old man could have thrown together. Javi, grab the cooler and some drinks, let’s head outside.”

“Mr. Peñ-“ You paused, correcting yourself as Chucho grinned at you. “Chucho. Really, I don’t mind carrying it, it’s not that heavy. And there’s some Coke and beer in there already if you want some!”

“Ella trajo cerveza? Ella te quiere mucho, Javier. La amo, tambien.” (And she brought beer? She really does love you, Javier. I love her too.)

“Jesus Christ…” Javi whispered under his breath. “Dad, please.” His voice a mix of firm and desperate.

“Fine, fine.” He replied, swatting his hand at his son. “Gracias, mija. That was very kind of you.”

“Of course.” You smiled as the three of you began walking through the kitchen and out to the back deck where a small picnic table sat in the shade of the overhang of the roof. The view from the back deck was breathtaking- miles of green pasture stretched across land, separated by a few lines of fencing housing sheep and cows to the right, and some horses to the left. “It’s absolutely beautiful here. Javi never told me how amazing it is.” You gave him a playful nudge as you sat down next to him, putting the cooler on the table and staring out in front of you.

“Yeah, I don’t know, different when you see it every day, I guess.” Javi shrugged nonchalantly.

“Are you kidding? After living in a city for so long, I don’t think I’d ever get over waking up to this every morning. Beats ugly gray buildings and taxis any day of the week.” You turned around to see Javi quickly dart his eyes away, trying to play off the fact he hadn’t just been gawking at you for the past few seconds.

“Thank you. I do love it here. Javier tells me you're from Chicago. Laredo must have been a big change for you, mija.”

“I guess. I lived in the suburbs growing up so I wasn’t in the city my whole life. I actually had been to Laredo before I moved here, which is part of the reason why I picked it. My best friend came here in high school for her dad’s job and I would visit every summer. I always loved how peaceful it was. Don’t get me wrong, I love Chicago, but I absolutely love it here too.” You softly smirked at Javi, as his hand reached down to grasp your leg, rubbing his thumb along your knee under the table. “Please, have something to eat! I made a lot because I didn’t know what sandwiches you like, so hopefully there’s something in there you want.”

Javi stood up to open the cooler and take out its contents, laughing and shaking his head as he saw what was inside. “Jesus Hermosa, were you planning on feeding an army today?” He started removing sandwich after sandwich, along with the rest of the cookies and chips.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know what people liked and-” You muttered, embarrassed by your excessive overpacking.

“She is just like your mamá, Javier. Nunca puede tener demasiada comida. You can never have too much food, she would always say. Thank you, mija. It all looks wonderful.”

You let out a small smile, relieved by his comment. “It’s the least I can do. I heard your project isn’t exactly going as planned so I wanted to do something small to help out.”

“It’s been a shit show. Better now that you’re here.” Javi smirked. “Can you pass me the turkey sandwich? And a cookie? Wait, did you make these?” Pointing over to the ziploc bag the cookies were stored in.

“Yeah, I made them yesterday. Had a feeling they were better here than sitting uneaten at my apartment.” You passed both items of food off to him.

No surprise to you, Javi went straight for the cookie, taking a giant bite, not bothering to finish chewing before he spoke. “These are so fucking good.”

“Javier, language! And chew with your mouth closed. You may have been raised on a ranch, but you weren’t born in a barn.” Chuchco scolded as you giggled.

“Sorry.” He grumbled sheepishly. “They’re delicious, Osita. So is the sandwich.” he spoke before taking another mouthful.

“Thanks, I had a feeling you’d like ‘em. So what can I help with after lunch is done?

“Osita, I already told you, you don’t need to help with anything.”

You crossed your arms, giving him a stern look. “You’re trying to tell me there’s not a single thing that I can help with? Nothing? Nothing at all?”

“Well, I mean…” Chucho perked up, mid-bite on a handful of chips.

“Dad. Seriously?”

“What? She’s offering!”

“I am, thank you, Chucho. See, listen to your dad, Javi.” You shrugged and raised an eyebrow at him defiantly.

“Yes, Javier, listen to your father.” Chucho joined you in crossing his arms at his son, you and Chucho both laughing as Javi sighed. “Although I will agree with Javier on this one, mija. I have no doubt you are strong and willing to help, but I can’t ask you to help build this fence. Even with 6 grown men, this fence would have been hard to build. Although…”

“Pops, c’mon.”

“I wasn’t going to ask her to help with the fence, Javier.” He swatted his hand at his son in annoyance. Chucho turned back to look at you. “Mija, have you gardened before?” This got Javi’s attention. He sat up a little straighter and leaned in to what his dad had to say.

“Yes, actually! My mom had a garden of all kinds of things at our house when I was a kid. My brothers never wanted to take care of it because it was too girly, but I loved it.”

Chucho let a soft smile creep across his face. “Perfect. Mija, the flowers around the house could use a little love. Watering, weeding, trimming down. I know it does not seem like a big job but it has been on my to-do list and I just haven’t gotten to it yet. Too much longer and it will be a jungle and too much for my old knees to handle on my own. Would you mind helping with that?”

“Of course, I would love to!” You grinned, semi-relieved you weren’t going to have to embarrass yourself in front of Javi trying to pick up a post just to prove a point.

“Bueno! These sandwiches were delicious, mija. Thank you, again. Let me show you where the tools are and then we will all be back to work.”

You and Javi followed Chucho hand in hand to the small tool shed on the outside of the barn. He grabbed a bucket, placing a few items inside before handing it off to Javi, even though you insisted you could carry it. Chucho showed you his preferred method of clipping and trimming around the flowers, along with his favorite weeding shovel and where the hose was to water when you were done. The whole time you and Chucho were talking, Javi watched in silence, his heart bursting at the sight of you two milling around the garden. As Chucho finished with his directions, you turned back around to see Javi, wiping away what you assumed was just sweat from under his eyes.

“I think I got it all! Thanks, Chucho!”

“Of course, honey. We are out in the far left pasture, so if you need anything, you can call Javi’s phone from the future on our perfectly good phone in the house.”

“You have it out for cell phones, too? Must be a dad thing, mine is the same way. I’ll call if I need anything.” Chucho nodded as he began making his way back to the pasture, Javi lingering behind for a few more moments. “I never did get to properly say hello to you.” You smirked, pulling your fingers beneath the belt loops on Javi’s jeans, bringing him closer to you as you both leaned in for a long, sweet kiss.

“I think this hello works just fine.” Javi chuckled, his large hand cupping your face, calloused thumb rubbing back and forth against your cheek. “Thank you, Osita. This means so much to me. Meeting my dad, bringing food, offering to help. I just- Thank you.”

“Of course. I’m so glad I got to finally meet your dad. He’s hilarious. I think he was just worried that I was gonna be too strong helping with the fence and he didn’t want to embarrass you like that.”

“Pendejo.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”

I do. It was soft and tender and sweet and somehow screamed in your ear at the same time. It made your heart race and your cheeks flushed as he pulled the hand already resting on your jaw closer to his, the kiss between you so gentle, yet powerful all at once. It felt like your lips were barely touching, yet somehow it still felt like they were crashing together, like a wave on the beach in a stormy sea. You pulled away from each other, slow and breathless, eyes locking and mouths still hanging half open. A kiss that left you both dumbfounded and speechless.

“I uh, I should um, probably go help my dad.”

“Yeah, I um, yeah, I should probably get to work on these flowers.”

Both of your voices barely carried above a whisper. You slowly backed away from each other, stupid smiles spread across your cheeks as you bit down on your bottom lip to try and keep your grin from growing any wider.

“If you need anything just-“ He gestured down to his pocket where was carrying his phone.

“Just call your cell phone, I know.”

As Javi’s body turned to walk towards his dad, his eyes stayed glued on you. So much so, that neither of you noticed the garden bucket he was about to trip over before it was too late. With one wrong step, Javi lost his footing and took several tumbling steps before planting his hands on the ground and pushing himself back up to stand. You were trying your hardest not to burst out into laughter, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“Stupid fucking bucket…” Javi mumbled to himself.

“Watch out for those buckets, they’ll getcha.” You yelled mockingly between your hysterical laughter.

“I didn’t see it.”

“Then watch where you’re going next time!”

“It isn’t that funny.”

“It is a little funny.” You still chuckled to yourself.

Out of witty responses, Javi only shook his head at you before disappearing behind the house. Around the corner, he found his father, also laughing in hysterics, barely getting his words out over his snorts.

“Got distracted by something while you were walking?”

“Fuck. Did you see that too?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, hijo.”

“Goddamnit.” Javi put one hand on his hip and the other palming his face.

“Ah, to be young and blinded by love again.” Chucho shook his head as he began walking out towards the field.

“Dad, please, for the love of-“ Javi pinched his fingers against the bridge of his nose as Chucho cut off the rest of his sentence.

“I know, I know, I will leave it alone… for now.” He winked at Javi as the two men made their way back out into the field, Javi peeking around the house to take one last look at you before he left.

If there was one thing that you had learned since moving to Texas, it was that it got hot. Fast. You truly didn’t mind the heat- it beat the terrible midwest winters you had dealt with every year since childhood. But you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel like you slowly melting away only after a few hours out in the blazing sun. Beads of sweat pooled on your forehead as you clipped all of your hair up and out of your face, hating the feeling of it wet and sticky against your neck. Your shirt was practically drenched from the sun hitting your back for so long. You were thankful that you were getting closer to being finished, only leaving watering the flowers as your last step. If this was your own garden, you would have been weeding and trimming at a lightning fast pace, but something about the way Chucho had so tenderly clipped each branch and gently tugged each weed made you slow down and take your time with every step. Given the way you had watched Javi curiously perk up as his dad had offered you the task made you feel like this wasn’t a job that he would have offered to just anyone. The last thing you wanted to do was mess it up. As you made your way around the edge of the house, leaving only the last few bushes, you noticed a large, flat stone at the base of one of the hydrangea plants. You squatted down next to it, using your hand to dust off the dirt covering the top, plucking some weeds growing around the edges. Under the dirt, your fingers began to trace over indents in the rock that felt like letters. With a few more swipes of your hand, you were able to make out the words under the soil.

Lucia’s Garden

You sat there for a few moments, rubbing your fingers gently over the indents in the stone, lost in thought as you imagined the vibrant image of Javi’s mother amongst the equally bright and beautiful flower garden.

“Hey, Osita.” Even though the voice was soft and familiar, you had definitely not heard Javi creep up behind you, and when his strong and calloused hands rested on top of your shoulders, you just about jumped out of your skin.

“Ah! Jesus, what is it with the Peña men and absolutely scaring the shit out of me today?” You jumped up, catching your breath as Javi rested his hands on the outside of your arms as you turned towards him. He laughed softly to himself as you regained your composure. “I wasn’t expecting to see you for a while. Not that I’m mad about it, but I find it very unlikely you and your dad are already done with the fence. Unless you both have some crazy superpowers, besides sneaking up on people, that I don’t know about.”

He chuckled, as he placed his hand under your chin, tilting it up towards him as he gently wiped a smudge of dirt off of your cheek. “No, not done yet. But, I did just get a call that the guys who were supposed to come help. They’re back on the road and should be here soon, and they were able to bring a few extra people with them with building. So, I was able to convince Pops that they had enough help with the fence, that you could come help me do the rest of the chores around the ranch for the night, if you want.”

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna let me help with anything.” You crossed your arms and smirked at him, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean if you don’t wanna see the animals,” he said, putting a knowing emphasis on the word, “then that’s fine I guess-”

“Wait. That’s what this is?! We get to go see the animals?! Why didn’t you say that first, dummy, let’s go!” You shrieked, practically dragging Javi away.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so excited to feed cows.”

“AND we get to feed them?! This is really turning out to be way better than anything I had planned.”

“You’re ridiculous, Osita.” He laughed as he smiled at you, finding it both hilarious and absolutely adorable at how excited you were. Here you were, covered in dirt and sweat, practically begging him to walk through a smelly barn to feed even smellier animals, all because it meant you got to be with him. Him. He truly needed someone to pinch him, because he was convinced he had to be dreaming. Well, if he was, he guessed he could let that dream keep going just a little longer.

“I don’t understand how you don’t think this is the coolest thing. What do we have to do first?” You looked up at him, eyes glistening with excitement.

“We'll stop at the barn and get some hay and feed, then take the truck out to them.”

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s go!”

You both hopped into Javi’s truck and headed towards the barn. While it was only less than a minute away, Javi wasted no time gripping his hand over your bare thigh, stroking his thumb back and forth over your skin as he drove.

“Do you wanna wait in here while I get stuff?” He asked gently as he put the truck in park pulling up to the barn, still rubbing his hand against your knee.

“That is the stupidest question you have asked me all day. If I’m here to help, I want the full Peña Ranch experience.” You quickly unbuckled yourself as you opened the passenger door, sliding out. Javi shook his head and laughed to himself as he followed behind you.

“You really want the full experience?” He stood facing you, arms crossed over his chest with a smug look on his face.

“Yes! I told you, I’m here to help. Don’t take it easy on me, Peña.” You mirrored his stance, leaning into your hip and shrugging your shoulders.

“Okay.” He chuckled as he opened the barn door and then stood back to lean against the back of the truck. “We need four bales of hay and 2 buckets of feed. All you, Osita.” He motioned to the barn wall, stacked high with bales of hay from end to end.

“Easy.” You reached your hands above your head to stretch before you walked over to the hay, Javi standing and watching. “How heavy can they be? It’s just hay!” You leaned over the closest bale, reaching down to the two strings binding it together to pick it up. Oh shit. This was WAY heavier than you thought, but there was no turning back now. Taking a deep breath, you grimaced your face as you tried to lift the bale as high off the ground as you could, shuffling awkwardly towards the truck. You let out a much louder than intended grunt as you heaved the bale of hay up into the truck bed, letting out a few deep breaths and putting your hands on your hips after you finished, trying as hard as you could to play off the fact that the task was much more difficult than expected. “See?” Your words heavy between each pant. “Easy.’

“Do you want to go get the buckets of feed while I finish the hay? Or was it so easy that you wanna do the rest of them?” Javi smirked.

“I mean, I guess if I’m getting the full experience, I should probably learn how to get the feed too. ” You replied, trying to hide the fact you were still trying to catch your breath.

“Okay, Osita, whatever you say.” He winked, smirk still spread across his face. “There’s some barrels back there labeled with feed. You can put 3 scoops in the red bucket and 3 in the blue. Should be easy.” He leaned down to give you a quick kiss before making his way over to the hay bales.

“Pendejo…” You muttered to yourself.

“You love it.” He teased, easily lifting a bale and tossing it into the truck.

Thankfully, the feed was nowhere near as heavy as the hay, and you were able to carry both buckets over to the truck where Javi was waiting for you. “You want me to put those in the truck for you, or are they easy too?” Javi mocked, clearly getting enjoyment out of your stubbornness.

“Oh shut up, I just wasn’t expecting the hay to be that heavy.” Your grumbles and defeat quickly turning into giggles and smiles as Javi lifted you up and sat you on the edge of the truck bed, his arms placed outside your hips as he leaned in to pepper you with ticklish kisses across your neck and face. “It would be so much harder to be mad at you if you weren’t the hottest cowboy I’ve ever seen. Didn’t know I had a thing for them until you showed up all hot and sweaty and handsome and I’ve been trying so hard to not get distracted, especially considering we’re hanging out with your dad, but you’re making it very difficult for me.”

“You don’t think it’s been any easier for me watching you just walk around in those jean shorts all day? Jesus, Osita, you’re fucking killing me.” He planted another hot, wet kiss on your neck as his hands shifted, running up and down your thighs. You could feel heat flushing over your cheeks as you felt arousal build in your belly.

“Javi, we cannot do this here, we’re at your dad’s house. I want him to like me, I don’t need him to catch us screwing around here.” Your breaths slowly turned into moans, making your argument less and less convincing to Javi as he had his fingertips gripping into your hips, pulling you close to him as his kisses crept up your neck and along your jaw.

“He already loves you, hermosa. Don’t worry, I have it figured out. You’ll see.” He pulled his lips off you, suddenly, winking before walking away towards the driver’s side door, leaving you sitting on the truck bed, worked up and desperate.

“Wait, woah, what? What do you mean you have it figured out? You can’t just do that and walk away!” You scrambled off the truck bed, hopping into the truck with him.

“C’mon, Osita. We have cows to feed, remember?” With the way this man kissed you, you were lucky if you could remember your name after he was done.

Feeding cows and sexual tension were two things that you would have never thought would have gone hand in hand, but here you were, barely holding it together as you looked over at Javi. His aviators perched on his strong nose, gray shirt stretching across his broad shoulders, the width of his hands around your leg? You sure hope whatever mystery he had planned was coming soon because your self restraint was starting to run thin. That was, until you looked out the truck.

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME THERE WERE BABY COWS?” You practically jumped out of the passenger door as the truck pulled to a stop, speeding up to the fence where four calves were waiting for you. “Can I pet them? They’re so cute!” You hadn’t even bothered to help Javi haul the food out of the truck bed as you reached out to scratch the bridges of each little cow’s nose.

“I figured you’d like these guys. Hola, chiquitos. Tienes hambre? (Hi, little ones. Are you hungry?). He cooed in a sweet, soft voice that made your heart melt. “Do you wanna feed them while I take care of the others?”

“Is this gonna be another hay bale situation?” You joked sarcastically, scratching under one of the cow’s chins.

“No, this one is actually fun. Hold on.” He went back over to the truck, pulling out 4 large bottles that he must have grabbed while you were getting the rest of the feed. “They’re not old enough for grain feed yet, so they’re still bottle fed.” He passed one of the containers off to you, before grabbing his own to demonstrate. “All you have to do is hold it with both hands and let them drink out of it until it’s empty. Each calf gets one. They’re cute, but don’t let ‘em fool you, they’re still strong, and very hungry.”

“Got it.” You replied, taking the bottle in both hands, the calves beginning to moo as they caught a glimpse of their food. You held it up as the cow’s tongues shot out of their mouths before one of them latched on to the bottle. You giggled as the calf sucked out of the container, Javi smiling at your enjoyment as he grabbed a bale and made his way further down the fence to feed the rest of the herd.

“Ringo is very strong.” You grunted, gripping on to your final bottle as Javi approached you again, finished with his feeding duties. “At least he’s nicer than George, he tried to bite John and Paul when it was their turn to eat!”

“Hermosa, who are you talking about?” Javi laughed, amused at the sight of you trying to keep the calf from ripping the bottle out of your hands.

“The cows! They needed better names than 6, 14, 27 and 31, which was all their tags said. And there’s four of them, so I figured they could be the Beatles! John, Paul, Ringo and George!”

“Normally, we don’t name them, it’s too hard to keep track of, that’s why they have numbers. Also, all these calves are girls.” He still laughed to himself as he leaned down to pick up the empty bottles and put them back in the truck.

“Oh… Well, it doesn’t matter, I think their names are still cute, who cares. More fun than the numbers.” You nudged Javi playfully as you pulled the empty bottle away before throwing in the truck bed with the others. “Bye, Beatles!” You waved at the cows before hopping back into the truck.

“You’re such a dork.”

“Well at least I’m your dork.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you are. You ready to head back?”

“Let’s go cowboy.”

As you headed down the dirt path, you could see the sun slowly starting to dip beneath the clouds, painting the sky to a beautiful orange and pink. You leaned over the center console, resting your head on Javi’s shoulder, as you snaked your arm under his, gently squeezing his hand as your fingers interlocked. There was something so peaceful and perfect about the moment, how you could almost feel the threads of each of your lives slowly becoming more intertwined with each moment you spent together. You could spend a million more nights just like these just sitting by his side, driving anywhere to do anything. It didn’t matter, as long as you were with him. You were so caught up in the beautiful fantasy of the moment, that you hadn’t even heard him over your daydreaming.

“Hermosa?”

“Sorry, what did you say?” You shook your head, coming to.

“I uh, I know you’ve already spent a lot of time here today with me and my dad, so you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I was um, wondering if you wanted to stay for dinner? Maybe spend the night here?” He shifted slightly in his seat, his fingers tapping anxiously on the steering wheel as he looked at you with his sweet, puppy dog eyes.

“Really?” Your face lit up instantly, thrilled by the fact Javi wanted to spend more time with him and his dad.

“Yeah, like I said, um, don’t feel like you have to, but-”

“Javi.” You paused, gazing back at him. “I would love to.” You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as you leaned back over to rest your head against him again as you pulled back up to the house. As Javi put the truck in park and you pushed on the handle to open the door to hop out, you felt a tug against your wrist, drawing you back in. You turned back, Javi’s eyes looking you up and down, his tongue darting out between his lips before clenching his jaw. Without saying a word, you shifted back in your seat, Javi’s hands engulfing your face, as he pulled you in, meeting his lips with yours. As your mouths crashed into each other, you could feel your heart race, electricity flowing through your veins, feeling Javi pull you closer to him. There was something so desperate about it, like he was holding in something he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that he just couldn’t say.

I want you. I need you. I love you.

You hoped those were the words sealed between his kisses. You hoped he felt the plea of your kiss, too.

I want you, too. I need you, too. I love you, too.

As you both slowly pulled away, your heavy breaths mingled in the few inches left between your parted lips, Javi’s traced soft and tender circles around the line of your jaw.

“I really like you, Osita.”

“I really like you too, Javi.”

Those were the best words you could muster from the silent screams of your kiss. Those words would have to do, for now.

“Do you wanna head inside? I’m sure your dad’s probably waiting for us.” You asked, regrettably.

“I really don’t want to, but we probably should.” He huffed as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, giving you one last kiss on the head before you made your way in the house.

As you entered through the front door, you could already hear Chucho in the kitchen tinkering with pots and pans and singing along to the Spanish radio station in the background. “So, do we have a guest for dinner?” Chucho spoke in between lines of the song, hearing that you and Javi had come through the front door.

“If that’s okay?” You replied, now making your way into the kitchen to see the array of food that Chucho had spread across the countertops.

“More than okay, mija. I’d hope you’d stay.” He said with a soft smile as he wiped his hands the apron he was wearing, worn and faded letters across the front reading “Besar a Cocinero” (kiss the cook).

Rubbing his hand against the small of your back (grazing dangerously close over ass) as he stood behind you, Javi looked down and smiled. “Osita, do you wanna take a shower before dinner? I can throw all your clothes in the wash too if you want?”

“What? Are you saying I smell bad?” You took a step back, crossing your arms against your chest.

“Well, no, I mean, uh-” Javi tripped over his words.

“Javi, oh my gosh, I’m just kidding.” You said, playfully swatting at him. “I know I probably smell like a troll, so a shower would be great. I didn’t bring any extra clothes, though.”

“A cute troll, at least.” Javi laughed, having to remind himself that the majority of the things that came out of your mouth were completely unserious. “You can borrow some of mine until yours are clean. Here, I’ll show you where the shower is.” He took you by the hand as he led you down the hallway, stopping at the first door on the right, leading into Javi’s bedroom. His room was neat and minimal, not much in it besides his bed, dresser, desk and a bookshelf with some scattered picture frames and a few unpacked boxes in one of the corners. You stood there for a moment, looking around at the space as Javi walked across the room to open the door where his bathroom was. “Shower’s in there, towel’s hanging up on the door, and I’ll set some clothes out for you on the bed when you’re done.”

“Thanks.” You smiled as you bit down on your lip, taking a slight step towards him. “You um, probably want my clothes I’m wearing right now for the laundry, right?”

You had been trying so hard to not completely fall apart at the sight of Javi all day. Especially with wanting to make a good impression on his dad, it took everything in you to keep yourself from crawling all over him from the minute you walked through the door. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it right now, but Javi’s not so subtle point to close and lock his bedroom door also hadn’t gone unnoticed. Slowly, you stretched your arms over your head to strip your T-shirt, dropping it on the floor as Javi’s jaw went slack, his eyes undressing you faster than you could undress yourself. You undid the button and zipper to your shorts, pushing them down your hips as they dropped around your ankles, leaving you in just your bra and underwear, and Javi just about speechless.

“Fuck me.” He whispered to himself as he stepped into you, wrapping his arms around your waist, his big hands sliding up your back as he unclipped your bra, helping it slide off your shoulders before tossing it into the pile of the rest of your clothes. You let out a silent moan as he kissed down your chest, his tongue flicking against each of your pebbled nipples as his hands worked down your hips, his fingers hooking under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down your legs before they fell to the floor. You could feel his bulge straining against the denim of his jeans pressed against your leg as he ran his hands up and down your curves, planting hot and heavy kisses across your body. You wished so badly that he could toss you on his bed and fuck you right then and there, but you had to keep reminding yourself that his dad was only a few feet from Javi’s room before you got too carried away, a fact that Javi seemed to have forgotten given the way he was all over you.

You outstretched your neck to nip at his ear letting out a long and shaky breath before you whispered. “I think you got all the clothes you need, I’m gonna get in the shower now.” You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as you pulled away from his grasp, shooting him a quick wink as you giggled, closing the door to the bathroom. You left Javi standing in the middle of his room, breathless and riled up as he stood next to the pile of your clothes on the floor. He placed one hand on his hip, the other running through the dark locks of his hair before reaching down to grab your clothes as he mumbled to himself.

“God, I’m so fucked.”

You felt like a new person stepping out of the shower now that you had scrubbed yourself clean of the dirt, sweat and grime from the day. You wrapped yourself up in the fluffy navy blue towel that Javi had left for you, drying the damp ends of your hair before opening the door to step back into Javi’s bedroom. Sitting on top of the plaid comforter that covered his bed, you noticed a pile of clothes Javi had left for you with a post it note placed on top. You picked it up, laughing to yourself as you read it.

Hope these clothes are okay. Sweatshirt and sweatpants are for later, gets cold outside at night. FYI, payback’s a bitch.

See you soon, beautiful,

-J

Wondering what Javi had planned for outside, you set the gray sweatpants and maroon crewneck aside, picking up the white t-shirt with “Texas A&M Swimming” written across the front. You slipped it on over your head before shuffling on the black pair of cotton sleep shorts Javi had left for you, rolling them up a few times so they didn’t slide down your waist. You reached for the doorknob of the bedroom, opening it slightly as you heard Javi and his dad’s voices from the kitchen, listening in on their conversation.

“I know Dad, believe me. I’ll tell her, just… I can’t yet. I don’t wanna fuck this up.”

“Well don’t take too long. She is a special girl, Javier. You and I both know it. Don’t you think there was a reason I let her tend to your mamá’s garden? You know very well I don’t trust just anyone with Lucia’s flowers. I barely trust you. She would always tell me how much she couldn’t wait for you to bring home a woman you loved, a daughter to have to spend time with there. Dios la bendiga (God bless her), I wish she could have met her. Your mother would have loved her. You two are perfect for each other. Ella es tú media naranja. (She is your better half, your soulmate). I know you love her, Javier. I find it very hard to believe that she doesn’t love you too.”

I want to tell her. I know you love her. She loves you too.

The words rung in your ears as your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest. Your mouth hung open as heat crept up your cheeks, your mouth stretching with the widest, stupidest grin. Holy shit. Part of you wished you hadn’t heard it, only because now it was taking every ounce of you to not bust through the door, kiss his sweet face and tell him how much you loved him too. Thank God there was a part of your lovestruck brain that still had some sense of awareness left to it, as you heard the thumps of Javi’s footsteps towards the door, followed by a “I’m just gonna see if she needs anything before I get in the shower.” You scrambled back from the door, trying to do anything you could to make it look like you hadn’t just overheard the conversation in the kitchen. You pretended to fold your damp towel as Javi opened the door, leaning against the frame.

“Hey, you’re done! Shower okay? Tried to find whatever I could I thought would fit you best.”

“Yeah, great! Shower was great, clothes fit great, everything is great. Perfect.” The words spilled out of your mouth in the least casual way possible, sounding frantic and panicked as they fell from your lips.

“Osita, you okay? Are the clothes not comfortable? I can get you different ones? Or if you’re worried about spending time with just you and my dad while I’m in the shower, I-”

You cut him off, standing up on your tiptoes and balling up the shirt covering his chest in your fists as you reached up to press your lips into his, lingering for as long as you could before breaking away. “I’m sorry, everything is perfect. Seriously. You just surprised me when you came in. I’m excited to spend time with your dad and the clothes are just fine. Not sure what I’m gonna need these sweatpants and sweatshirt for but I’m excited to find out.”

He let out a small huff of relief as he ran his fingers through the wet ends of your hair before kissing the top of your head. “Like I said, I’ve got it all taken care of, you’ll see. I just have to shower real quick, and Pops said food should be done real soon. Does that work?”

“Absolutely. Have a good shower, ya stinky cowboy.” You winked as you gave his butt a quick squeeze before heading out into the kitchen.

“Ah, Mija!” Chucho’s cheerful greeting making you smile as he milled around the kitchen, whistling along to the upbeat song on the radio. “I hope you’re hungry! It seems like I am getting in the habit of making way too much food. I am glad we have an extra mouth with us tonight to help us.”

“I’m glad to be here! I’m starving. Is there anything else you need help with?” You asked, looking around at even more photos that hung in the kitchen, quickly realizing how fond Chucho was of displaying his loved ones in every inch of the house. You caught a glimpse of another photo of Javi hanging above the dining room table, this one of him in a cap and gown, holding his diploma as he stood next to his mother and father, proud looks beaming across their faces. Chucho noticed you staring, his heart warmed by the genuine interest you seemed to have of his life in photos spread across his home.

“No, honey. Already finished, just cleaning up a few things, but that can wait for later. That’s when Javier graduated from college. We were so proud of him.” He gestured, pointing over to the picture you were staring at.

“Yeah, I bet. You can tell from the picture how happy you are for him. It’s very sweet.” You smiled, seeing how much both of his parents loved and cared for Javi.

“Do you want to see more?” You turned around to face Chucho, almost giddy with excitement.

“More what? More pictures? Yes please!” You grinned.

“Perfecto. Take a seat, Mija, I’ll be right back.” He pointed over to the kitchen chair as he made his way over to the living room, rustling around and returning with 4 large stacks of photo albums. “I’m glad you asked about these now, Javier would kill me if he saw me getting all of these out for you, but they are too good not to share. Here, start with this one.” He opened up the first book with a worn, brown leather cover, flipping to the first page. It was filled with pictures of Javi’s mom, still pregnant and setting up the nursery, followed by newborn Javi, face scrunched and covered in a dark brown head of hair. “Lucia was so excited when she found out she was pregnant. We had tried for so long, and by some miracle, along came sweet Javier. Oh, did she love him.” He spoke as you continued flipping through the pages, smiling with each turn, honored to hear about Javi’s life, long before your paths crossed. “Oh, this is a good one!” He stopped you, pointing to a photo of Javi, who couldn’t have been older than 3 or 4, sitting on top of a cow with a sweet, toothy grin. “He’s always loved animals. He would cry every night, mamácita, papácita, mas vacas, por favor! (Mommy, Daddy, more cows, please!) because he loved listening to those cows moo so much.”

“That’s so adorable. It’s so nice that you have so many photos of him.” You smiled, opening up the next book on the table.

“Good to have memories of all of the moments that live in your heart.” Chucho sighed as you flipped to a photo of Javi blowing out candles on a birthday cake, sitting on his mother’s lap, as she cheered for her son.

“Jesus, Pops, are you serious?” Javi rolled his eyes as he strolled into the kitchen, setting down your extra sweatpants and shirt on the counter before running his towel through his damp curls, knowing exactly what his dad was up to.

“Javi, you were such a cute kid! What happened?” You and Chucho snickered to yourself as Javi put a hand on his hip, running his tongue across his teeth, trying his best to not give away the fact he couldn’t have been happier to see how well the two of you were getting along.

“Fine, fine. Looks like we’ve been busted, Mija. We’ll save the rest of these for another time.” He chuckled as he scooped up the photo books, bringing them back to the living room.

“You’re no fun.” You nudged Javi, as he stood next to you, now freshly showered and wearing a dark blue shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants that were about to make you fall out of your chair.

“You should be thanking me. I’m saving you from all the awful, awkward photos of me from after I was a cute kid.”

“But those are the best ones! Besides, with how handsome you are, I have a very hard time believing you ever went through an awkward stage.”

“And that’s why the rest of the photo books are getting put away.” He laughed as rested his hands on your shoulders as he stood behind your chair. “Dinner ready, Pops?”

“Sí, on the counter, in the bag ready to go.” He pointed to the counter where a large brown paper sat.

“Wait,” You paused, confused by the exchange. “Why is it in a bag? I thought we were eating dinner together here?” Your brows scrunched in surprise as you looked back and forth between Javi and his dad.

“Don’t worry about me, mija. I’ve already taken up too much of your time. Besides, señor romance tiene otros planes.” (Mr. Romance has other plans).

“Oh, so what are these plans, Mr. Romance?” You giggled, you and Chucho equally enjoying the embarrassing Hell you had both put him through today.

“Jesus Christ. Alright, we’re going now, bye Pops.” He mumbled as he grabbed the extra clothes and food from the counter, you following close behind him as you made your way to the front door.

“Alright, so where are we off too, Mr. Romance?” You giggled as Javi started up the truck after throwing the food and clothes in the backseat. “I hope whatever you’re doing is because you think I don’t want to spend time with your dad.”

“Osita, that is the least of my worries. You two together are turning out to be a much bigger pain in my ass than I ever expected.” He joked as the two of you laughed, both relieved by how well you had been getting along with his dad. “No I just, I know I said it before, but I’m so glad you came today. You didn’t have to do any of this, no one… no one’s ever done anything like this for me before. Just, I don’t, I, um-”

You slipped your fingers between his free hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Of course, Javi.” Had no one ever really done something this nice for him? In your mind, today couldn’t have been an easier decision. You were so glad that he was letting you into his life- to meet his dad, to see where he grew up, to learn more about his past and what shaped him into the man that had your heart. It killed you to think that something like this was something he’d never had. “So, is this what you kept telling me you had planned today? Where are we going? Are we eating there? Is it outside?”

“Jesus, you really do hate surprises, don’t you? Remind me to never throw you a surprise birthday party. Don’t worry, you’ll see. You trust me?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. Close your eyes.”

“Close my eyes, what are you-”

“Osita, please.”

“Fine, fine.”

You leaned your head back over onto his shoulder, closing your eyes as you drove in a comfortable silence, bright golden sunset spilling into the windows of the truck as traveled along the worn dirt path. Between a gap in the fencing along the side of the gravel road, Javi turned, driving the truck through part of the open field before swinging it around, turning the front of the car facing the direction you came.

“Can I open my eyes yet?”

“What happened to you being so patient? Keep them closed, give me one minute.”

“Not even a little peek?”

“Osita…”

“Okay, okay, no peeking, I swear!” You kept your eyes shut as you heard the door close on Javi’s side of the truck, the backdoor also opening and closing after he shuffled around, grabbing what you assumed were the things from the backseat. You heard the bed of the truck slam down before Javi was back rustling around in the front of the truck, reaching over your lap into the CD’s. You could hear him quickly pick one out before sliding it into the CD player, the “Rumors” album by Fleetwood Mac now playing over the speakers.

“Good pick.” You smiled, eyes still shut tight. “You almost done yet, Mr. Romance? Or is this how I finally go? You’ve hid the axe murderer act long enough and now you’re gonna bury me out in the field, never to be seen again? I guess it is clever on your part.” You laughed to yourself, knowing what the look on Javi’s face must have been as he rolled his eyes at you, even if yours were still scrunched shut. You heard him shuffle out, opening your side of the car.

“Give me your hand, you dork.” You felt his palm under yours as your fingers wrapped around his wrist as his other hand held your hip, helping you scoot out of the truck. He guided you to take a few steps before releasing your hand. “Okay, now you can open.”

You wanted to give him some witty remark, a sarcastic jab, anything to give him a hard time about how he had made you wait for whatever this mystery surprise was, but as you opened your eyes, you were left speechless. Looking out in front of you, you saw nothing but miles of green grass, hills rolling up and down along the horizon as far as the eye could see as the sunset bursted with a ferocious orange and pink glow, peeking just above the clouds, slowly getting ready to sink into the land below. “Javi…” You paused for a moment as you took in the view. “This is beautiful.”

“Yeah, it is.” With Javi standing behind you, you assumed that he too, was taking in the spectacular view. And to him, he was. It just wasn't the sunset that he was referring to.

You turned around, remembering the rustling you had heard in the backseat, wondering what Javi had been doing in the truck bed. The back of the truck was filled with blankets and pillows with Chucho’s bag of food sitting on the edge. Still speechless, you stared back at Javi awestruck by the moment. “C’mere.” He said, patting the truck bed, lifting you up and following close behind you. You both snuggled in under the blankets, Javi wrapping his arm around you as you laid into his chest, watching the sun slowly fade away behind the clouds. “Good surprise?” He leaned into you, his fingers tracing gentle circles along your arm.

“Great surprise.”

Reaching his hand across your body, he cupped the side of your face, turning it toward his as his lips gently pressed against yours. He pulled back for a moment, foreheads pressed against each other, mouths barely separated, like he was looking for the right words to say but he just couldn’t find them. “Kiss me.” You whispered. “Kiss me, Javi.”

You could feel your weight shift as Javi rolled you over, his body now hovering over yours as your mouths crashed together in a way that was deep and intense without being frantic or rushed. His tongue dipped in your mouth, your lips parted between soft, breathy moans, pressing his body deeper into yours with each kiss. “Javi…” You whined, ache building between your legs as you felt his length pressed against you from his sweatpants, already hard and heavy against your thigh. He slowly began to make his way down your body, hot, wet kisses covering your belly as he pushed your shirt further up your body. He tugged at the waistband of your shorts, carefully helping you shimmy them down as his hand dipped between your legs, his fingers barely grazing against your entrance. “Javi, pleaseeee.” You moaned again, begging to have him do something to ease the throbbing burning in your core.

The sweet whispers of his name on your lips made his cock twitch. Early today, after you had wrecked him in his bedroom, teasing him as you stripped your clothes in front of him before getting in the shower, he was going to take his sweet time, making you beg for his touch. But as he took you in, every beautiful inch of you, his willpower crumbled in an instant. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you slow and deep, for you to feel all of him, to watch you come undone as you whispered his name, pulling him closer and closer into you with each stroke. He wanted to fuck you so that you could feel those 3 words he just couldn’t say to you yet.

“I know, baby.” His fingertips pressing just a little further, feeling how absolutely soaked you already were. “Wanna take my time with you, okay? Wanna make you feel good.” His voice sent shivers down your spine as you nodded, his fingers now slowly sinking deeper into you, making your back arch from his touch. He kissed along the inside of your thighs as his calloused thumb began to gently rub around your clit, his fingers already drenched as they began to steadily rock in and out of you. His kisses made their way from your thighs to your clit as he carefully flicked his tongue, applying just enough pressure to make you squirm underneath him. “Always so wet for me, pretty girl.” The hot breath of his words danced along your heat as his dark brown eyes locked with yours. He dipped his head back down, licking a long, broad strip against your bundle of nerves as you rocked your hips back and forth over his fingers. His tongue swirled around your clit, knowing exactly how to make you fall apart as you moaned with each touch.

“It feels so good, Javi. Fuck, babyyyy.” You whined, feeling your cunt clenching tighter and tighter around his thick fingers as his mouth worked its magic between your legs. With each thrust of his hand and lap of his tongue, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer, the pressure in your stomach starting to build, your breaths heavy and shaky.

“I know you’re close, Osita. Let go, baby. Come for me. I got you.” He knew his words were just what you needed to send you over the edge. With a few more thrusts of his hands, he could feel your pussy flutter around his fingers.

“Javi, Javi, Javi, Jaaahhhhh-” You whimpered as you felt the heat grow at the base of your spine, pleasure shooting through your body as you came around his fingers, your jaw slack as you felt your legs shake.

“Such a good girl for me, Hermosa. My good fucking girl. Tastes so sweet, baby.” He praised, slowly pulling his hand out of your heat, dipping his fingers into his mouth, sucking your juices off of them. He sat up on his knees, still between your legs, the outline of his already hard dick pressed against his sweatpants as he pushed them down his hips before pulling his shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. He leaned back down over you, grabbing one of the blankets by his feet to cover your bodies.

“Are you afraid a cow’s gonna see your bare ass?” You giggled, still coming down from your high as you gestured to the blanket now covering both of you. His arms outstretched outside of your shoulders as you laid on your back, he joined in your laughter, dropping his forehead down and burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“You’re ridiculous, Osita. Fuck, I love it. I love everything about you. Fuck. You’re fucking perfect.” He stared at you for a moment, his sweet brown eyes taking in all of you, like he couldn’t believe you were real. That you were his.

He swallowed, his mouth parted like there was more he was desperate to say but couldn’t quite get out. You pushed your head up off of the pillow underneath you, gently pressing his lips against yours, his hand shifting you cradle the back of your head, his fingers tugging at the ends of your hair as he set you back down. He shifted back slightly, using his hand to stroke himself a few times before flushing his hips against yours, his cock lined up with your entrance. Neither of you said anything, feeling at a loss for words in the moment, both of you silently seeming to agree that something about now felt different than all the other times before. You barely nodded your head as Javi slowly sank into you, taking his time, letting you adjust to him inch by inch before bottoming out, stopping for a moment as you let out a soft moan that Javi quickly swallowed with a kiss. He began to rock his hips back and forth, taking his time, gradually filling you deeper and harder with each thrust, his whispers hot against your neck.

“Fuck baby, I’ll never get enough of you. My fuckin’ perfect girl.”

“Javiiiii” You whined, your arms wrapping around back, nails pressing into his shoulders as his cock hit the spot inside you that lit you ablaze. His hand snaked between your bodies, reaching down to rub your clit, still slow, taking his time with each graze of his fingertips as his pace held deep and steady. Every thrust in and out of his hips had you wrecked as he filled you so deeply and intensely, moaning his name as you wrapped your legs around the small of his back, doing anything you could to bring him closer to you.

“I know, Hermosa, I know. Does it feel good, baby? Knowing you’re mine? That you’re the only one I ever wanna make feel like this?”

His words had you whimpering as he nipped at your neck, his hand gripping on your hip, thrusts becoming faster from your sounds. “Oh my god, yes, Javi. Fuck, it’s all yours. I’m all yours.” You wanted nothing more, for him to be the only one whose sweet words made you fall apart, the only one who ever came close to making you feel this way. You could feel the coil in your belly beginning to snap as the pad of his thumb rubbed rapidly against your clit, his cock driving into you as your vision went white.

“I know you’re close, Osita. I can feel it. Wanna see you when you come. Wanna see your beautiful face, pretty girl.” The brown pools of his eyes filled with want and need as they locked with yours. You could feel your foreheads touching, his damp curls brushing against you with each push of his hips, your bodies melting into each other as you felt the coil inside your belly snap.

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, baby, I’m gonna, gonna-.” Your orgasm flooded through your body, pleasure shooting through every inch of you as you wrapped yourself around Javi. It was so intense, the way the feeling crashed through you, how everything about him had you completely wrecked, how tightly you could feel yourself clenching around his length as you came.

Watching you come completely undone under him, Javi found himself quickly falling apart at the sight of you. Each stroke was faster and sloppier than the last, like he was desperate to show you how badly he wanted you, needed you. He could feel the sweet tingle of his release building, his brain going blank as the words fell from his mouth. “That’s it baby. Fuck, Osita. Gonna cum so deep inside you, fuck you full of me. Fuck, I can’t believe you’re mine. Soy tuyo, Osita. Mi corazón es tuyo. Es todo para ti. Eres mi todo, Osita. Te am-ahhhhhh.” (I’m yours, Osita. My heart is yours. It’s all for you. You’re my everything. I love yo-). He could feel each throb of his cock pulsing as he spilled into you, riding out his high with short, shallow thrusts, making sure every last drop of him was inside your walls. He melted into you, his body collapsing onto yours as your heavy breathes synced, chests rising and falling together.

You paused for a moment before you spoke. You replayed his words in your head over and over again, not sure what you were trying to convince yourself of. You weren’t sure of everything he had said, trying to piece together the Spanish you knew as you came down from your high, but if there was one sentence you knew for sure, it was the last one, even if it had gone unfinished.

Te amo. I love you.

“Javi…” You paused, your heart practically beating out of your chest. “What was the last part you said?”

Javi froze. You could feel his Adam’s apple bob against your chest as he swallowed, his head still buried in your neck. You waited for what felt like an eternity before he pressed himself off you, rolling over, laying beside you. “I uh, I don’t, um, I don’t remember all of it.” He tripped over his words, eyes scrunched tight, like he couldn’t bear to look at you out of fear of what he had said.

“Javi. Javier Jesús Peña. Please. Please tell me what you said.” You placed your hand on his chest, forcing him to open his eyes and look at you, your face pleading, practically begging to hear the words that had fallen from his lips once more.

“I’m yours, Osita. My heart is yours. It’s all for you. You’re my everything. I… Fuck.” You could see the tears welling behind his eyes after he ran his hand over his face. You moved your hand from his chest to under his jaw, cradling his cheek.

“Javi… Say it. Please.” Your words met his ears barely above a whisper. He paused, taking one more trembling breath, staring off into space for a moment, like he was praying with everything he had left in him that you really did want to hear it.

“Osita… Fuck. I… I love you.”

“Javi,” Your voice shook as you felt the tears trickle down your cheeks, rounding and red from the grin growing across your face. “I love you too.”

It was only for a moment that you saw his face mirror yours before you could feel his hands grasping around your face, pulling you in for a kiss that made you feel like fireworks were exploding inside you. He squeezed his arms around you, a mix of laugher and tears leaving your body as he pulled you on top of him, wrapping you in his embrace.

“Really?” He questioned, his words still shaky as he smiled at you, running his trembling hands through your hair.

“Of course, Pendejo. Of course I do.” You both laid there for a moment, breathing in sighs of relief and joy, soaking in every moment of that four letter word. You loved him. He loved you. Javier Peña loved you.

You rolled over, both of your bodies curled in the blanket on top of you, staring into the sky, now fading into a deep darkness, speckled with spots of shining stars above you. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Nothing else besides the two of you. Up until now, there were few things in life that you had been sure of. On a Wednesday in late May, you knew one of those sure things was that you had fallen head over heels in love with Javier Peña. And now, you knew one of those sure things was that Javier Peña loved you too.

..............

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @persephone-girl

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monsterblogging · 9 days

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So, it finally clicked that while the average person does in fact broadly comprehend that people are neither good nor evil - they're good and bad, and have free will - they also can't understand why some people would fully commit themselves to completely awful causes or to being a terrible person throughout their entire lives. They can't really picture how this works, because they can't imagine themselves choosing to die on a hill of Being A Terrible Person.

This void in their comprehension is where the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is very likely to come and settle in sooner or later, because it seems to finally provide an answer that makes sense of otherwise senseless cruelty and violence. Agonizing questions like "Why would my boyfriend spend so much energy on making me feel like shit and breaking me down?" "Why would this historical figure decided to kill all of these people?" and "Why would this guy go start a cult and murder everyone?" are finally given an answer, and the formerly-bewildered person finally has some peace of mind.

Because of this, the myth of the Ontologically Evil Person is incredibly hard to get out of people's minds once it takes root. For one thing, bad ideas are like bad habits; it doesn't really work to tell people to Just Stop With Them, because without something else to take its place? They're going to fall back on it.

And if somebody's been traumatized from abuse? The last thing they want to hear is that they're basically dehumanizing their abuser and that's not cool, because it feels to them like the other person is taking their abuser's side and telling them to get fucked. Even if this not what's happening, the survivor's brain is currently operating on fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode, and a brain operating fight/flight/freeze/fawn mode is keyed to making snap decisions to try and remove you from the danger as soon as possible, which means categorizing everything into black and white. This person couldn't care less about the history of eugenics right now; literally all they care about is being safe.

"Okay, so if the Ontologically Evil Person doesn't exist, how the hell do you explain those fuckers over there?" some of you are probably asking.

Here's the deal. Literally every human being alive can and will do terrible things if they're sufficiently scared and desperate. They're in no position to appreciate that nearly all asshole behavior can be explained by a lack of critical social and self-management skills, or by a lack of access to self-improvement (including being too traumatized to trust means of self-improvement).

People who are scared, insecure, and under high levels of stress will often cling to anything that makes them feel better, because they want to feel safe and secure and not in psychological and/or physical agony. (Stress does an absolute number on your body, too.)

Being reliant on a shitty behavior, belief system, or product for some measure of feeling secure and safe is how you get people saying things like "If I didn't act mean, everyone would just walk all over me!" or "I was really depressed before I found this, so if I gave it up I'm going to get depressed again, and I might hurt myself." (And there might be some truth to this one! This might indeed happen if they give it up cold turkey, and without finding an alternative!) It's how you get people conducting """scientific""" studies to """prove""" that their bigotry is totally justified and not at all irrational. ("Well of course these people are genetically inferior, they wouldn't be poor and disease-ridden if they weren't... what do you mean, systemic inequality and uneven healthcare access? No that's obviously fake and made up by More Bad People.")

People also act in unhealthy ways to deal with personal insecurities implanted by parents or society. You have people out there whose parents drummed it into their heads that second place was for worthless losers, or that no one would love them if they didn't look or act a certain way. You have people who absorbed the idea that acknowledging the basic humanity of shitty people means that they have to forgive them and personally help them get better and just suffer through the abuse in the meantime.

This is how people choose to die on the hill of Being A Terrible Person. They weren't ontologically evil. They were scared, and they thought they saw a fortress on the top of that hill that would keep them (and perhaps also their loved ones) safe.

#evil #morality #people #shitty people #abuse #radicalization

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punkpandapatrixk · 7 months

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Full Harvest Moon in Aries ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

In my experience, Full Harvest Moon is always significant for those who are more spiritually attuned. This period allows—almost forces, actually—us to die to the previous cycle of our lives much like the trees shedding their leaves. This is a period of slowing down; of calm but maybe also a little bit of depression; of sweeping changes and moving places; of pausing and recalibration; which could cause a sickening sense of losing control of our lives, though in reality, we’re just being prepared for a massive transformation.

If anything, all these changes are the perfect answers to all you’ve prayed for! It’s harvest time for a lot of us! Some of us are having a mini harvest but those are results nevertheless. You’ve done marvellously well to be here right now. And haven’t you grown so much? I’m grateful you’ve made it this far.

Speak into existence your higher intent this Harvest Moon. Be at peace knowing that whatever transpires, everything works out in your favour. Your manifestations are protected, more than you may realise. Work on beautifying all elements of your Life, taking care of all aspects of your physical and spiritual health, and most of all, enjoy Life. All the changes you’ve managed to manifest thus far. There’s plenty more coming but you can’t compete with Destiny, yeah?

All in Divine Timing~🌕Congratulations and happy harvest~🌾

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Pile 1 – Returning to the Essentials

intent – Ace of Pentacles

You’ve made it exceedingly clear to the Universe that you want a higher sense of stability in your Life. You might’ve come from a background of poverty mindset or that your environment was brimming with individuals operating on lack mindset. A lot of the people you used to surround yourself with were literal peasants in that they’re always hungry for something more… but won’t work on themselves to become a vibrational match to those higher desires. So, essentially, beggars. Beggars for love, for money, attention, recognition, status, you name it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting those seemingly unspiritual things, what is a problem is the sense of underserving of those things that people won’t even make the first step towards planting those seeds of manifestation for their own personal fulfilment. Such people only end up with rotten envy, jealousy, spite, bitterness, and even resentment. You saw all of that. Swam in an ocean of such mindsets and tendencies. You finally woke up and said, ‘I want none of that nonsense anymore. None of it is natural. I want out!’

sow – 4 of Cups

So, you ejected yourself from those situations and possibly burnt some bridges. It was better to be alone and work on the essentials. You get to know yourself better that way, all strengths and weaknesses, all opportunities and challenges. You’ve enjoyed learning and studying things that inspire you to continue to build a sparkly Life, right? You’ve worked plenty hard on your own fixing your internal compass, haven’t you? None of that will ever go to waste. You were creating vibrational pathways towards your Highest Possible Intended Destiny. It’s time to begin anew with your visions. Your plans are taking shape. You can see clearly where to step in your next chapter of hustle.

I guess, you’re still feeling like you’re not quite there yet. Or that it feels like your desired reality is taking its sweet time. I guess you could be struggling with dissatisfaction every now and then. Or that certain days you can’t believe the insane level of boredom that suddenly strikes. Sometimes you wonder if there’s any meaning to all this internal hustle you’ve been doing. But there totally is and the fact of the matter is that you’re building strength and momentum at the present moment. I suspect very strongly you’re going to be insanely busy in the next cycle of your Life. Cherish this period. It probably will never come again and soon enough this chapter is only gonna remain a memory you recount sometimes as part of your Life’s Story.

reap – 4 of Wands

And finally, I’m sure you’re already feeling this without anyone else telling you: you’re returning to the essentials. You’ve rediscovered the essence of your being. The styles that suit you. Pursuits that delight you genuinely. These are the few things that truly matter to you and that’s all you want to spend energy on. If in the past you were frantically chasing a few forms of aesthetics or had a number of dreams to pursue, you’ve narrowed everything down to only the essentials—the ones that truly make you feel excited, alive.

Although it feels like returning to your inner child essence, at the same time, you’re not the old you. You’re completely brand new. You’re like a transcendent version of your truer self in the past. It feels strangely nostalgic but also novel. Like you’re holding this inexplicable paradox inside of you. But the truth is, you’ve simply transcended above the duality of light and dark, good and bad. You’re now living in the non-dualistic 5D version of this Earth Matrix. Congrats! You’ve truly awakened! Welcome to 5D Earth, Master Manifestor~!

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Pile 2 – Your Heart Has the Best Compass

intent – VII The Chariot

First of all, you’re an incredibly intuitive person and to a large extent, I think you’re psychic. You could have one or two of the clairs. Clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, claircognisance. You are often guided by your intuition to make changes or attempts that may not always look sensible or responsible by other people. But you seem to have disregarded all of other’s expectations or advice. You believed in yourself and decided to pursue something dearly important to your heart. In a manner of speaking, you were following the path of your Destiny, so congrats! You made the right decision. From here on you can only get stronger.

In your physical Reality, I see you experiencing bounds and leaps of good fortune! You don’t need a shooting star to help make your dreams come true now, you are the Star itself. You make what you want come to Light. It’s possible you’re gonna see people in your Reality being more polite, helpful, cuter, kinder, and generally more pleasant. You’d be like, ‘Did I just jump timelines? Is this still the same Earth I’m used to?!’ Well, you quantum jumped into a higher dimension of Reality and you should be proud of all the inner work you’ve done to be in alignment with these higher frequencies!

sow – Knight of Cups

So, this is another water/emotion energy. The Knight here is simply saying you’re ready to take your Life to the next level of happiness—a spiritual variety of contentment whilst living on Earth. I think you want Love? XD You’re beginning to really want what people call ‘5D relationships’. You want to meet your Soul Mates, your Destined Person, your Soul Tribe. You want Love in a peaceful, exciting, creative world. And you’re going to ‘work’ on that. You’ve decided to never let anyone disrespect you for all the weirdness you have to show them. Unapologetic for days. You ain’t afraid to be seen as a bitch, or a weirdo, an alien, or even a villain.

Nevertheless, all that is just the outer package of your person, which is needed to navigate some hardships in Life when they arise. On the inside, you’ve truly become soft, peaceful, content, and I think you’re pretty much happy with where you are in Life now. Out of all the Piles, yours feels most like you’re truly starting something new that you’re passionate about. There’s something you’ve been meaning to do/create/launch which is only needing the right Divine Timing. Once you hit the bell, there’s no snooze button—you’re going on a ride! Life is gonna get super exciting, so stay on your lane because you’re totally on the right path towards changing your Life!

reap – 3 of Pentacles Rx

When your Life finally takes that amazing turn, you’re going to be spoiled by the Universe with a lot of happiness. I’m seeing SO much abundance beyond material means. You’re going to be SO beautiful. I’m seeing a crazy glow up one way or another. Perhaps because now you have access to those things that can support a glow up. New wardrobe. New teeth. New face for some… New country. New house. New everything and you look gorgeous! That said, there are family members or childhood friends who are totally NOT gonna understand your transformation. Yeah… let peasant be peasants if you ask me.

There are those of you who will want to provide for your family/friends with your newfound wealth and if they’re deserving of that, why not? Just please don’t do any of that with the desire to get their approval, and this is especially the case if your family/friends are incredibly toxic. Live for yourself, babe. Share only with those who are deserving. Only you can decide this but ultimately, respect yourself enough to never beg the acknowledgement of those who are already committed to seeing you in a negative light. Never let ANYBODY reduce your accomplishments, transformations, your Light. Never let anybody poop on your parade XD

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Pile 3 – Hand of Fucking Midas

intent – Page of Wands

Okay, in spite of the title, of all the Piles, your energy has a sage vibe to it. I feel like you’ve transformed into a spiritual master of sort. You got away from the Matrix’s rat race. All the riches you used to think you should have in order to feel like you belonged in society have gone out the window. There are so many material things you do not care about anymore. You’ve rediscovered your essence as a spiritual being having a Human experience. It’s all just a Game and you’re going to have the best-value experience whilst being here. You’ve cultivated a mindset of beauty. ‘Nothing is worthwhile if it’s not beautiful.’

You only want to float beautifully until the day you die. The paradox of your existence is that now that you don’t desire anything desperately anymore, everything comes to you ever so effortlessly. Perhaps it really is because you don’t care if it comes to you or not. It’s exactly because you’re free from worries and anxieties that your positive vibrations effortlessly call forth those positive expectations into your energetic field, and surely enough, they manifest in the physical whether or not you really want them. Paradox. Paradox.

sow – 5 of Pentacles

Reiterating the previous message, here is you sowing seeds of nothingness in this world. From nothingness comes everything. If you don’t limit yourself, anything, literally everything, is possible to create. You’ve tapped into the VOID and understood the secret of Co-Creation. Might it be that you’ve had a really strange, esoteric dream recently? I think you could’ve been activated in your sleep. I feel more strongly that this whole developing a Midas Touch was brought about after transmuting a fuckload of personal traumas you’ve accumulated in this incarnation.

You’ve been through all the sides of sorrow and happiness that now you’re clearer as to what kinds of things are truly meaningful for a Human existence. Now you only want the essentials, and those things you consider essentials are concepts still too difficult too grasp for most Humans. Though you do not carry the essence of being Human, you more than them understand what being Human should be all about. It’s insane. It’s all paradoxical. But you’re here on a mission to beautify this realm. To help Mankind elevate themselves above the status of being miserable slaves—slaves often to their own toxic desires. You’ve transcended all of that via your own suffering.

reap – 9 of Pentacles

From here on, there is no more lack. Because you don’t want much anymore. You’ve let go of all the tight grips on the illusions and temptations of the Matrix. Your wants are now purer, kinder, fairer. I feel you want everybody to have also the things that you take for granted. You want everybody to share in the bounty of the natural world easily. ‘There are things in this world that are NOT supposed to be expensive.’ You want everybody to have access to basic needs at a decent level/quality without having to pay for a premium.

All of that said, I think in the future you’re soon going to have your own business that helps improve the lives of your community instead of ruining the ecosystem and making it hard for everybody. If not a business, you could be involved in some sort of invention or revolution that could, well, revolutionise the way many people live, work or approach businesses on their own terms. I think this Pile has the potential to change the world for the better. You may not care that much about such wild dreams for now, for you are currently peacefully enjoying some fruits of your intense spiritual labour thus far.

But it’s coming, baby~ Your train to awesome is coming to pick you up. Just chill~ When Divine Timing strikes, your body is gonna move on its own😉

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elisysd · 2 months

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4. If I'm being honest, feels like you don't even know me

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Dear Patience - Niall Horan

For once, he was not dreading going to the media pen. He was excited even. Nothing could bring him down. Not even your questions. To be honest, he didn’t know what mean questions you could ask him. Not aware of it, a smug smile appeared on his face and he made his way to you and was taken aback by your content smile. You were far from the disappointed image he had imagined you would be.

“First of all, congratulations for your podium, Charles.” you said and he couldn’t help the shock to be painted on his face. He stuttered, barely managing to thank her. He didn’t even know what he answered her and hoped he didn’t make a fool of himself.

The after race meeting followed by a quick celebration were over in a blink of an eye and, it was still smiling that he made his way out of the paddock. He saw you walking right next to Marion. He looked at you from afar. You were laughing after Marion showed you something on her phone. Your colleague saw him and whispered something to your ear before motioning for him to come. He knew Marion very well, she had been one of the first journalists to follow him closely ever since he started to make a name for himself. She was someone important to him.

“How are you doing, Charles?” she asked softly.

“Amazing! Really. It was a nice weekend.” he replied, barely looking at her, too focused on you who were typing on your phone. Marion didn’t fail to notice his attitude towards you.

“I have a meeting with a PR officer from Haas, we’re trying to have Steiner in an interview” she told Charles. “I have to go. Will you be fine on your own, Y/N?”

“Yeah, sure. Do you need me for something?”

“It’s all good. Enjoy your evening.” she added, winking at you.

As soon as she was out of sight, you proceeded to make your way out, for good this time, not caring if Charles was following you or not. But he was, matching his pace with yours.

“So… you can’t tell me I sucked today! You had to be nice to me, it must have been tough.” he jokingly teased you.

Unexpectedly, it made you laugh. A real laugh and Charles found the sound beautiful.

“You don’t suck. You never had.” you calmly said. “Sure you made some questionable career choices with Ferrari but even I have to admit it, you’re a great driver.”

“But then, why do you hate me?”

“Don’t take it personal, it’s not you I hate. It’s what you mean to me.” you cryptically explained, before walking faster, leaving him here trying to grasp a meaning to the words you’ve only half spoken.

Miami was everything you hated. Too glamorous, too wild, too flashy, too much. You only wanted the weekend to end and it hadn’t even started. You were enjoying a little bit of peace and quiet on the patio of your hotel. The air seemed cooler and you didn’t know if it was because of the AC or because of the fact that it was less crowded here. You were watching a few highlights of the previous race to try to prepare your next interviews. Notes scribbled down on paper sheets were on display in front of you and anyone looking at them would wonder how you would manage to understand anything in them. But it was your own organized mess, you were used to it and it was how you were working. Focused on your video, your headphones on your ears, you hadn’t heard Jean approaching you.

“Y/N, right the girl I wanted to see.” he greeted you with a sneaky smile that involuntarily made you gulp.

“Jean… what brings you here?”

“I have something to tell you. And I believe you will particularly like it.” he winked at you, making you curious. “If I was telling you that we managed to get a driver for a long interview broadcasted on Sunday before the race and we wanted you to conduct it, what would you say?”

You blinked a few times, repeating his questions, trying to register what he was saying. It was all you had ever wanted and you couldn’t believe that the team was trusting you enough to let you do it on your own. You excitedly agreed, it was an opportunity you wouldn’t pass on.

“And who is it? Which driver did you manage to book?” you asked.

“Charles Leclerc.” Jean told you and suddenly, your smile faded. “Is that a problem?”

“No, no of course not. It’s just… Are you sure I'm the right fit? He doesn’t exactly appreciate my questions.”

“Well, I guess you are since his only condition to make this interview was you being behind the mic.”

Getting inside the Ferrari hospitality felt impressive. It was not everyday that their doors were open to journalists and to have the opportunity to be there, for a whole hour, felt surreal. You felt prepared but anxious still. It was an overwhelming feeling. You met Silvia who told you that everything was almost ready and that Charles was on his way. She got you a cappuccino and showed you the room, giving you time to settle. You looked around. Pictures of the drivers were everywhere. Charles’ wins in Spa, in Monza, in Austria. Carlos’ win in Silverstone was hung as well. Pictures of the crew. Pictures of old wins were there as well. If you were just turning around on yourself, you could have a full 360 of Ferrari’s history. When you looked at the door, you almost jumped. Charles was there, leaning against the door frame, a half smile playing on his lips, not bothered to have you here in the slightest. Jean hadn’t fooled you, he knew you would be there, bringing to your lips a thousand unspoken questions.

“You asked me to be here. Why?”

“I like a good challenge.” he simply said, sitting on the chair in front of yours as you quickly verified the equipment and did the same.

You breathed in and out, asked him if he was ready and started the interview.

“Thank you, Charles Leclerc, for agreeing to this interview. Today, I wanted to take a deep dive into your career, showing you some key moments of it and collecting your thoughts on them. I didn’t select your wins, though. I’m a firm believer that you learn much more from someone when you look at their failures than in the moments they thrive.”

You paused, taking a moment to judge his reactions but as a true professional he didn’t show anything only, nodded. You gave him the tablet and invited him to click on the link of the first video. French GP 2022, his mistake, his scream on the radio.

“What goes through your mind right at this moment, when you lose your grip and end up in the barriers?”

“Frustration. A huge wave of frustration because I know that it’s one hundred percent my fault. I can’t blame the team, or the strategy or the set up because we had a perfect car and we were in position to win. I’m very critical of myself, I don’t accept any mistakes because I think this is how you improve. I wake up every day wondering what I can do to get better. It took time for me to make peace with my mistakes during this Grand Prix.”

You asked a few more questions, trying to understand his thought process and making him talk about his preparations for a Grand Prix before you told him to click on the next link. It’s an audio and not a video this time. And soon, the now sadly famous line ‘Box, box. Stay out, stay out.’ echoed in the room.

“You really decided to show me all the traumatic moments of my career.” he bitterly laughed.

“I’m not going to ask if that hurt because I know that it did. What was the first thing you did when the cameras were off and you were on your own?”

“I called my mom. It’s stupid, I know but at that moment I needed to hear her voice. I felt like a kid, confused and lost. It’s one of the very first times in my career where I started to doubt, not myself, but the environment I was in. It didn’t take long because I was quickly reassured by the staff.”

“Were the tensions with Mattia Binotto already there at the time?”

“I don’t like to talk about tensions with Mattia, because I know at the time he thought he was doing his best with the situations he was in. But yeah, it broke something that day. But that’s how it is, you know. Mistakes are made, you learn from them and you bounce back.”

“The last moment I chose is a more recent one, if you want to open it.” you guided him.

Bahrain 2023. It made Charles laugh and shake his head. You really are determined to make him relive his worst moments. But still, he somehow found it easy to talk to you. You actually let him talk, say whatever he wanted to say, you were not searching for a headline you could reuse to deform his words. You were listening, only asking him to be more precise when it was needed. And you finally wrapped the interview, Silvia looked happy. It had taken less time than expected and maybe Charles could actually do that sponsor video shoot that they thought wouldn’t squeeze in his very tight schedule.

“No. And before you ask, I don’t intend to go anywhere. This interview was supposed to last an hour and it’s barely half of it. I still have thirty minutes to spare, so Silvia, please, I would like to be left alone for the time being.”

“But Charles…”

“It was not a suggestion. I was trying to be polite.” he cut her and Silvia, even if she looked visibly frustrated, ended up giving up.

“Fine. You know where you have to be in half an hour. No lateness will be tolerated.”

As soon as she left the room, Charles exhaled deeply and looked at you. You are cleaning your stuff and are tidying the place and you are surprised to not see him move. Instead, he sat on the ground and studied each one of your movements, making you painfully aware of them.

“I think it’s time for me now to ask you questions. And I won’t give you any other choices but to give satisfying answers otherwise I won’t let you leave that room.”

You glared at him. Who did he think he was? But as he saw you glancing at the door, his instincts took over and slided towards it, preventing you from running away. You sighed.

“You don’t give me the choice, do you?”

“Nope. It’s you, me and the questions I’m dying to ask you.” he replied, a playful look on his face.

Understanding that you might get stuck with him for the next few minutes, you sat on the floor as well, right in front of him.

“You said, in Baku, that you hated what I meant for you. I don’t understand. What did you mean?”

You fidgeted. You hated yourself for telling him that a few weeks ago because you knew that he would keep it in the back of his mind. And you were right.

“It’s personal.” you said, a bit more harshly than necessary in hope he wouldn��t ask further.

Your gaze is everywhere but on him and your bouncing legs, giving away how awkward Charles had made you. Suddenly, he felt bad and slowly approached you until his knees touched yours. He was so close that you couldn’t ignore him anymore but in a desperate attempt to achieve it, you closed your eyes, focusing on your shallow breathing. You felt his hand, hesitantly brushing yours until he took it in his to squeeze it. That’s when you opened your eyes. You could feel them burning from the tears you were trying so hard to fight back.

“I lost my baby brother a few months ago. Leukemia.” you confessed.

“I’m sorry.”

“He is… was a huge fan of Ferrari and of you. Our granddad introduced me and later him to F1, he died a couple years ago. Watching the Grand Prix was our thing, you know, to my brother and I. When he was diagnosed and forced to be hospitalized I didn’t stop watching them. It was just in his hospital room, now. He was such a fan, he had so much merchandising from Ferrari, posters and flags on the walls of his room. He was idolizing you. You were his favorite driver and he had promised to himself that when he would get out of this hospital room he would do anything to meet you. His hero. And then I had to go to New-York for my studies. I always had him on the phone, though. After each Grand Prix. He was the happiest when you won in Bahrain last year. And he cried of happiness about Australia. For a moment, the doctors thought he was going better and he was only saying it was because of you. But then his health started to get worse all at once. And it correlated with the moment your results were downgrading. He died a few days after Silverstone.”

You paused, trying to steady your breath as you felt a tear falling down your cheek, caught up by Charles.

“I… I guess… I associated you with his death in a twisted way and I’m sorry. It’s just… I didn’t get to say goodbye. I wasn’t even there for his funeral, I preferred to not go because if I didn’t then it wasn’t real. I was a coward. I still am. And you didn’t deserve any of it. It was just… easier? I don’t know. I don’t make any sense and…”

“You make sense. I understand. A little bit. Not everything but I relate… in some ways. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Truly.”

“I feel so guilty… about so many things. But treating you the way I did was wrong. You were right, I wasn’t fair. I didn’t give the same treatment to you that I did for others.”

“It’s okay. It’s behind us. Are your parents still around?”

“They are. Not the greatest parents, though. But it’s like that. You know, that’s why this job is so important to me. Because it makes me feel close to my brother and because I hope that it will help me get out of that freaking guilt feeling. I do it for him. I hope he is proud of me, wherever he is.”

“I’m sure he is.”

Suddenly his alarm went off, signaling him that the 30 minutes he had set up were over. It startled them both. He got up and looked at your distraught and pale face and he felt awful to leave you like this. But he had work commitments that he couldn’t avoid. You saw his look on you and forced a smile.

“I’m okay. I promise, it’s just… It’s the first time I talked about Luc aloud since he has passed away.” you explained. “Go. You can’t afford to be late.”

He reluctantly ended up leaving you, not without thinking that something had changed between both of you.

Author's note: It's race day! I hope for Charles and Ferrari that everything will go well and pray for a podium.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13

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vitaminseetarot · 2 months

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March Blessings For You 🍃🐇🍀

Sup y'all, welcome back to another pick a card reading. Rabbit rabbit for everyone as we head into March. Hope you enjoyed a good leap day and are excited to let the winter melt away into spring. I'm looking forward to changing things up around here.

I have finally decided on what my next tarot game will be about this month, so stay tuned within the following week or two. This game will likely not be as extensive as my last one, but it will last longer than my first game so more can join. I'm excited for this one, it'll definitely be more for fun. I'll send out a notice before I start it!

Today's pick a card reading is simply about what kind of blessings will be available for you this month. Here are the three piles to choose:

Pile 1 - Exquisite Emerald Pile 2 - Pure Turquoise Pile 3 - Jade Mountain

Pile 1

Emerald and Milk Thistle, Rescue, Avocado - Prosperity, The In-Between, 13 - Awareness; Knight of Swords, XX Judgement, Ace of Cups, 8 of Swords, 6 of Cups

How's it going, group 1? "Heal the Healer." I'm sensing that many consider you, or you consider yourself, to be a big helper for loved ones in daily life. The term "mom/dad friend" might sound familiar to you. Someone others can rely on, you're seen as a solid supportive friend in their regular troubles. Even with simple things like helping a friend move from their apartment, or getting a classmate's grade up in a class you excel with. At work, you may be the person others call on to take the extra shift. Sometimes, it was necessary, they had to take their pet in for an emergency. Other times, they just wanted a vacation and didn't really notice how taxing it was to ask so much from you.

Pile 1, March is the month to turn the tables around in time for the change of the season. "Help others in need or ask for assistance when you need it." You have the chance to ask someone else to help you out the same way you are often asked to help. March will bless you with the feeling of "having your back." The universe has been watching you struggle and is preparing your table for rewards to be served fresh. This help will likely come once you begin moving into a transitory phase. See how the Awareness card looks symmetrical to the In-Between card? These cards together remind me of the Moon card. You're in a state where one cycle has ended and another is beginning, you're already in that first phase so to speak. This space is full of uncertainty, and it's important to not listen to projections that speak of things as though they're going to happen just because they've happened before. The 6 of Cups involves overthinking about the past, assuming that things will be the same as they were before.

Allow the prosperous energy from Avocado to clarify the 8 of Swords here. You may be feeling stuck and unsure of where you're life is going next, but you know you can't enter the next chapter of your life worn out before you're even out of bed. Awareness features moonstone and mugwort on the card. You're being asked to pay attention to your dreams. Imagine what kind of prosperous things have happened in your past, and what kind of prosperity is available for you in the future, just before you fall asleep at night, then journal your dreams. Symbols may reveal themselves over time to give you clues for your conscious mind to consider. Your subconscious mind wants to help you with your stress, if that makes any sense, as it uses images and not words to speak.

Emerald is Venusian energy, and avocados are creamy enough to be made into dessert (ever had a chocolate avocado "cheese"cake? I have, it was actually very good!) March wants to bless you with a little indulgence. Ace of Cups says you will experience a lot of spiritual and emotional replenishment if you make it a focus to do so this month. If things are slow now, consider it a time of peace and budding opportunity. You may not be used to getting some needed rest if you're helping others out more, but the advice here is to take the time off as it comes, and make an intention to relax. Judgement card reminds you that the pace will pick up again soon, so enjoy some down time when you get it this March. Put some of that avocado on toast and enjoy your breakfast. Your body and soul will thank you.

Pile 2

Turquoise and Forget-Me-Not, Communicate, Artichoke - Renewal, Level Up, 9 - Self-Acceptance; 10 of Wands, Queen of Swords, I Magician, 10 of Swords, X Wheel of Fortune

Hey, pile 2. Hope you're doing well. I got a little concerned while shuffling the Earth Wisdom cards when the whole deck slipped and made a loud "thunk" on my table, right next to where the cracks in the Turquoise card. Do some of you live in a loud place, or near angry people who yell and slam doors? The dragon's face on the 10 of Wands looks like they're sick of hearing their neighbors upstairs. For others of you, this cracking is more internally. Do you feel as though you may be cracking under some kind of pressure at work or school? You may even be feeling the urge to let out a fiery rage breath as well.

The Turquoise card says "Balance". See the man rock climbing beside the cracks? It's easy to imagine he can keep going without stopping to catch his breath, but wouldn't that make him like Superman? This month, you'll be able to see exactly what you're capable of. You're recognizing your own talents and strengths. This is a month of learning how to do your best without wearing yourself thin, and it's because you're getting a more accurate picture of what you can do. It's like singing while having noise cancelling headphones in, so you can't hear yourself. March's blessing will take those headphones off so you can hear for yourself how good you sound. You'll see that you were trying harder than necessary. You can take a step back while still moving forward.

Turquoise is a stone well known in many cultures, but I personally read it as a stone of friendship. You'll be blessed with a good friendship or important connection, someone you can confide in with trust. "Things left unsaid will never reach the shore." With Queen of Swords, you're becoming more discretionary about your boundaries and who you speak with. You may have been going through troubles that are hard to talk about. The dragon's mouth is wrapped shut; it may have been a struggle even when you tried, as though you were scared of what your friend would think. Remember, pile 2, that a real friend will want to see you happy, will accept you for who you are, and will cheer you on as you climb to the top. Don't be afraid for long and much needed conversations in March, for as long as you approach it like the Queen here, a good talk will strengthen a relationship. And absolutely talk to someone if you're in need of immediate help, like with relocation.

March may be the start of a "phoenix" season for you, where you will have a gradually unfolding but nevertheless significant period of your life. See the subtle rainbow on the "100"? It was unintentional, the card reacted to my suncatcher and the rainbow just happened to land there glowing. If you're starting at a bottom, pile 2, then you're only going up from here, even if with some scars. Artichokes are actually immature flowers. The past cycle in your life may have felt "incomplete". March will be the beginning of you getting a second chance to let something like a project come into full bloom. Fun side note, but apparently March 16th is National Artichoke Day (in the US). So be on the lookout for an opportunity coming in for you around the 16th. It could be small, but it may be something that brings you into spring's energy of renewal and positive change. Don't forget to stay in touch with people who care about you this month, pile 2, because an outing with them could become a transformative experience for the both of you.

Pile 3

Jade and Pink Lotus, Generosity, Kale - Dedication, Letting Go, 21 - Shadow Treasures; XXI The World, 5 of Swords, XVI The Tower, XX Judgement, VIII Strength

Hello, group 3! March will be a refreshingly easy going month for you if you make the choice to kick back. You are "sinking into silence" after a long and very difficult time in your life. You, out of all three piles, desire to move forward with the year more than anyone. The silence in the jade card feels welcome. The change is long overdue and feels inevitable, so why rush to the starting line of a race? Especially after just finishing a few strenuous laps in the woods. This is a month-long sigh of relief. A quiet, easygoing time will be your primary blessing in March. Jade is bringing much due healing energy for you. Allow yourself the chance to meditate upon the time you've just experienced, as self-reflection can help us clear the way for us to see better.

I can't help but notice the way in which your cards form a picture of a tree falling apart. The leaves give way to autumn, as the trunk of the old fall maple tree lights up from the storms of change. At the roots, however, we see beauty still alive underneath. It shows that the same potential lies beneath, even if situations can look hopeless. Conflict was overgrowing around the tree, sapping it of its vitality. To let go and rebuild was the only way around it, to protect the delicate root system it had to downsize. A lot of growth will come from how you use this time now, because the last phase gave way for new seeds to grow. These seeds will no doubt benefit from what good was left behind, as it was ultimately meant to be shared and not kept hidden forever.

If this feels too abstract, I will liken it to decluttering the house. You may be in the mood to do that as well this month, and March may bless you with a more organized house. This is also a decluttering of old systems, thoughts, and behaviors that no longer work for you, letting you move ahead with a clean slate. If a messy house has been an issue for you, someone might come to help you sort it out, even spirit guidance kind of help. If clearing old things away is difficult, you'll be guided through it. You may have the opportunity to give old unwanted stuff away and even find something that you've been searching for a long time. "Where has that been?" It might not be easy to get started at first but it'll soon become much welcomed change once you notice the difference.

You have the word "treasure" show up twice in your reading. "What good is treasure if you keep it for yourself?" You may something special within yourself that gets discovered as you move through this month. It's a part of you that has gone unnoticed. But when things get quiet, the tiniest things become more noticeable. Things left unspoken creep out from the shadows. I actually don't see you going through shadow work this period, if anything you're walking from it the way a hero puts on sunglasses and walks away from a Michael Bay explosion without looking back. You've been like kale here, hardy in the face of a freezing winter, staying green in faith that spring will bring warmth and light soon enough. Some people don't believe kale has any nutritional value, but that's because they tastelessly judge from a distance. Once you unearth your own shadow treasures from your roots, don't be shy to share your gift with others. You might, like kale, become the next trend.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

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thesensteawitch · 6 months

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The Remaining 2023 Vibe Check!🌲❄️⚡

What's coming for you?

🍂Pick A Pile Reading🍂

(Left to Right--- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!🍁

Thank you everyone for staying and waiting for my next blog. I promise I won't make you wait for a whole week. I was busy taking care of my health. Thanks for your patience, beautiful souls🩷.

This reading is about the rest of your 2023. It's a collective reading. Take a deep breath and read🌻.

Pile 1

The emperor, the chariot, ace of wands, the hierophant, page of swords, 2 of swords.

Hello, my dear pile 1. Firstly I want to ask how have you been. I see that something quite challenging for you (but you were okay with it) came to an end. Maybe your human side was okay with it but not your soul. The mind kept finding a rational reason for your pain. But being in that certain situation/job/relationship you had to pay a price. It cost you your peace. Whatever happened did not happen for no reason. It happened to teach you something. Now you must be thinking, “Well, isn't it obvious?” Yeah, but darling you forgot that there are thorns on the way to the garden of roses.

Currently, you aren't able to get a closure and you won't be able to for some time. But as the year approaches its end your eyes will be opened. Some of you may experience your 3rd eye-opening. You will see the divine reason for why something ended so abruptly when you weren't ready. Or why anything even happens in this world? You'll gain some clarity regarding the purpose of your existence, your destiny, and who you truly are. Some of you may develop some strong philosophical views. Just know one thing pile 1 that what happened has ignited a spark within your soul. The light within you will burn again which was diminished months or in fact years ago. Currently, you are confused. Some of you are being rigid. I see polarities. Sometimes you will think too rationally and brutally. Sometimes you'll become philosophical. But in the end, you'll find your balance. And will finally carry your wounds as the mark of your wisdom. Your wounds will become a roadmap to your destiny.

I hear, “Blindsided, addicted. Thought we could really do this but really I was foolish...Young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes. Some mistakes get made that's all right that's okay, in the end, it's better for me that's the moral of the story babe.” For some of you, it's related to someone and for some, it's about something very dear to you.

Only you can come out of the mental war you are going through. Only you can remove the blindfold and finally see the things as they truly are. Get out of your head! Seriously! Our mind can only go so far. It repeats the narratives it has seen. Truth comes from the divine. Surrender. Surrender to the divine/God/source/universe or whatever power you believe in. Writing down your emotions will definitely help you. You need to ground yourself. Start with grounding and soon you'll find your answers. You can just sit on the grass or walk barefoot on the grass. It will tremendously help you within a few minutes. I am not kidding. I do it. It will help balance your root chakra. You will find some stability.

Start planning how you truly want your life to be. It will help you in giving a vision. Because I see that all you need is an answer, a closure, a truth about life. If you do what I said then by the end of this year you'll finally be able to move forward with all bitter-sweet moments. You will have control of your life and not someone or something else has control over your life. Let nobody control you. Be it your mind, a desire, or a person. I also see that some of you are afraid to dream big. First dream like crazy and then make a plan. See how you can achieve whatever you want to achieve. And how can you be authentic in what you want to have in your life? Then make a plan and believe that it can happen to you. Remember the great examples in our history. If they can so can you. But don't end up comparing a fish to a monkey, you know what I mean right? You will be realising your worth by the end of 2023. You'll get the clarity that you are not able to get until now.

You need both magic and practicality. Remember to write 10 things about you that you know are wonderful. Also, forgive others and most importantly forgive yourself. Release the grudges and the negativity will be released. YOU ARE DIVINELY PROTECTED NO MATTER IF YOU BELIEVE IN ANGELS OR NOT. I also hear, “I don't know how to feel but I wanna try. I don't know how to feel but someday I might.” Oh God, you guys! Just watch BARBIE. And observe Ken. You'll learn a lot from him. Please do watch Barbie. And if you already have then watch again you might notice something that you didn't before. God bless you, pile 1. I also see a power struggle. You don't feel powerful. But you soon will. All this is happening to bring your power back.

If you want me to tap into YOUR ENERGY and give you specific details then do book a YEAR END READING with me. Just drop a message in my Tumblr inbox. (ONLY @ $11!)

Pile 2

King of pentacles, ace of wands, 10 of swords, knight of swords, 6 of wands, 5 of wands

Wow! My dear pile 2. First of all good job. I am so proud of you that you have finally decided something your guides have been whispering to you. Maybe life forced you to take a stand or you contemplated a lot. But one thing is clear you realised that the situation you were in was not favorable for you. You thought it would turn out to be something amazing but it did not. It definitely broke your heart. Currently, I see that you are trying to show strength in the face of adversity. It's good. You should keep doing that. But let me tell you my dear pile 2 that whatever tough situation you're in it's coming to an end. Very very soon. In a month you'll see yourself coming out of it. Finally, you are trying to stand up for yourself and your values. For once, you will not need anyone else's permission or approval. Beautiful! I see financial upgradation is definitely coming up for you. All the mental struggle and health struggle is coming to an end!!!!! Some of you can somewhat feel it. You may not have achieved your goal and you surely are not at the destination. But definitely, some progress is being made. Something has shifted. You're not in between. You're almost there. What you do in these coming weeks will define your years to come. Believe me when I say this. You know your goal, your destination. You're not naive. You're not unaware. You just fall into the temptations of instant gratification. And I see it all happens due to ‘what ifs’. New ideas will be coming to you. Soon you will be seeing competition as cooperation. People will praise your ideas and your work. And it will be huge! As you have just stood up from the ashes, it's still all over your body so the nostalgia might hit you. I hear the song, “What a time”. I feel this year has taught you a lot. But now you finally see your goal. You've made all the wrong decisions so now there's only the right way. What I mean by this is that you have exhausted all your options. Now there's only one way. Follow your destiny. You have been on the wrong roads so many times but the good thing is that you've learned. You have grown.

“We both have demons that we can't stand. Maybe you're seeking an honest man.” I feel that for some of you, your relationship played a huge role in your transformation. I also hear, “There may be lovers who hold out their hands but they will never love you like I can,” you knew how to give pile 2. You are a giver. Some of you may even be healers.

Now you're on your own. You always have been. But now you're not in a toxic cycle of codependency. And if some of you are still struggling with codependency then know soon it will be over. I hear December will be an abundant month for you. You are going to be the warmth that people would need in the cold winters. Some of you are so creative. I also hear, “I had the best time falling into love...” and now I feel you are choosing to stay single for some time. I feel it's good for you. Your soul needs this. I also see that some of you feel that you don't have enough knowledge about something but I see you do. Don't compare yourself to anybody online. There will always be someone better. But you don't need to fall for this trap of being above everyone else. You will finally take in the essence of understanding that the human race is dependent on each other and it helps each other directly or indirectly in each individual's growth. For the remaining months of 2023, your eyes will be on your vision. Nothing else! I literally am enjoying reading this pile. My heart is jumping. You are going to be blessed and divinely protected. I also sense that you always have been protected by the divine.

Aahh pile 2 I also see that this coming eclipse is going to play a major role in your life. It will bring a powerful change. This change is going to put you on your destined path. A new beginning is coming. If you guys have been wishing for something then know that it can come true. Please let go of your fear around finances. It's creating a blockage. I think you will be able to do that soon. Still, let me guide you on how to do it. You need to believe that you can have all the luxuries of the world. Keep doing things with your heart. Put a part of your soul in the work that you do and you will see financial abundance following you. Create things with pain, pleasure, purity, and peace. Keep the balance. Virtue lies in the middle. YOU GUYS ARE FOLLOWING YOUR DESTINY. Please keep going and not even for a moment lose hope. Focus on RELEASING the negativity and not listening to it. God bless you, pile 2! I am so so so happy for you. The external growth does depend on you and it is yet to come but I can't help but be proud of the internal growth that has happened to you and still, there's potential for more growth. Wow! The road is finally clear for you. It's your time to shine. Congratulations! Let me know what happens.

If you want me to tap into YOUR ENERGY and give you specific details then do book a YEAR END READING with me. Just drop a message in my Tumblr inbox. (ONLY @ $11!)

Pile 3

Two of wands, the emperor, two of pentacles, king of pentacles, queen of pentacles, the empress

Hello, my dear pile 3. It took me time to pull out your Oracle cards. Now I see why. So tell me why are you not taking action? I mean I see that when you are about to there's a part of you that makes you feel that you aren't ready. But guess what? You'll never be ready. No one is ready to start something. Knowing something you're planning to start is important but there's no end to learning. Then when will you be really ready if you measure your worth like that? You are afraid to execute your plan. For a long time, you have been planning and plotting but when it comes to taking action there's a huge resistance. If you are afraid that you won't be able to achieve your goals then let me tell you pile 3 that huge abundance is waiting for you to taste it. I can sense your soul suffering but this rigid mind and reasoning of yours has kept you in one place for so long.

The universe is going to put you off balance no matter how strong are the walls around you. Something is going to put you off balance and I am not saying this to instill fear in you. No concrete remains in front of God's will. Huge abundance waits for you. It's you who is coming in your way. So what if you're going to hit your goal in 6 months or a year? At least start or you'll never get closer to your dreams. Pile 3 do not even think of giving up! You do have a long way to go but to reach somewhere you need to leave a certain place and situation. By all means, explore. And who said that only the destination is supposed to be beautiful? It's the journey that matters. You are going to meet some really amazing people who will be helping you with your plan. Somebody is definitely going to help you soon.

When you're finally ready to overcome this resistance you will feel like your life is a mess. Believe me, this chaos will bring order. Currently, I see that your life is stagnant. I hear you saying to your resistance, “I like me better when I am with you.” It's so difficult to change your mindset pile 3. Stop weighing the outcomes rather than start creating. You have the capability to create a wonderful life for yourself. It's in your cards I am not saying this casually. Not all lessons are learned through books some are learned by experiencing the real world. The only way to fight any kind of resistance is to do the thing it is stopping you from doing. In the coming few weeks life is going to break something on you so that you have no choice but to move forward through the chaos that you are afraid to face. Believe me, pile 3 your life is going to turn out to be so beautiful. You'll love it. You might see a glimpse of it in December if you win over your fears.

Everything is concrete around you there's no oxygen and you have no pulse. It seems you have stopped watering your garden. No trees, no water? No oxygen! YOU HAVE THE KEY TO UNLOCK THE NEW OPPORTUNITIES. The vision you have is the key to your growth. Please don't be in your head all the time. In the times of challenges that you might face ahead please be playful. Don't be so serious all the time pile 3. Laugh a little. Let the day take you. You don't need to keep planning. Take breaks. Take rest. But do not be afraid to put in effort for your dreams. These coming months you'll be learning something that very few people know or take interest in. That's how you'll be able to create financial abundance. Knowledge will be served to you. If you feel lack in any aspect then the holes will be filled in by the universe. But first, you must take action. “The more that you say the less I know. Wherever you stray I follow. I am begging for you to take my hands and wreck my plans that's my man.” The universe is literally coming through and saying to take a leap of faith. Take its hands and wreck its plan of bringing turbulence into your life. “Know that my train can take you home anywhere else is hollow.” Home doesn't hamper your growth. Comfort does.

If you want me to tap into YOUR ENERGY and give you specific details then do book a YEAR END READING with me. Just drop a message in my Tumblr inbox. (ONLY @ $11!)

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the-broken-truth · 3 months

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Primal Hunt - [Yandere] [Werewolf Jamil Viper] [Female Yuu]

Summary: It's Halloween in Night Raven College, and everyone is celebrating with parties and festivities. However, Yuu Arisugawa is preoccupied with finding a way to activate the Dark Mirror and return to her world. Unfortunately, she has become the target of a predator who not only wants to prey on her but also has something darker in mind for the magicless female. Will Yuu survive the Night of the Blood Moon, or will she be devoured?

Broken: Welcome to my First Yandere Jamil Viper One-Shot. I know it's not Halloween, but who seriously cares?

[Halloween Night - Ramshackle]

Soft sapphire eyes looked at the pages of the book resting on the desk before the window where the light of the Blood Red Full Moon shined through the rather foggy window. With an exhausted yawn, Yuu ran her hair through her short black hair before using her hand to close the tome before her and pushed it away from her before resting her elbows on the desk and placing her face in the palms of her hands, completely exhausted by the countless hours of searching through countless tomes and writing down information for the one question she's had since arriving in Twisted Wonderland: A way to return to her original world.

Yuu Arisugawa is the Prefect of Ramshackle and is widely known to be the strongest person on campus, even though she has no magical powers. However, she possesses a power that nobody can understand, which makes her equally feared whether she is angry or having a normal day. Yuu commands respect through her actions, not because of her magical abilities or family status, unlike many other students on campus. Despite the Headmaster's duties, she still manages to excel in her studies while assisting students of all dorms and years with their issues. Additionally, she handles all the Overblots, from Riddle Rosehearts to Malleus Draconia and everyone in between. Everyone knows not to anger the Prefect because of her impressive abilities.

No one would say it around Dire Crowley since Yuu asked them not to, but all the other students considered Yuu as the True Headmaster of Night Raven College and would call her that when the Old Crow was not around; Yuu would never admit it, but she liked it when the others called her that. It made her feel like her efforts were being appreciated.

However, the only thing the students didn't like about Yuu was her current mission: Returning from whence she came. Not a single person at Night Raven wanted Yuu to return to her original world; the teachers, the students, the Dorm Wardens and Vice Dorm Wardens, and even Crowley (I'm sure we all know why) wanted Yuu to remain with them, however, the Arisugawa Female was too set on returning home and there was nothing anyone could change her mind; no amount of gifts and pleads would make her stay in Twisted Wonderland.

Tonight was no different.

T'was Halloween Night and all the dorms were celebrating in style, it was more special since the Blood Moon was high in the sky; making everything better for the atmosphere of the parties. Every dorm invited Yuu to their personal events but the Prefect refused since she was going to use the peace and quiet to look through the tomes she had about the Dark Mirror in hopes of triggering it to bring her back home. Grim asked her if it would be okay to go with Ace and Deuce on their Halloween adventures and Yuu agreed; the fact Grim asked her made her laugh since he always called her his 'henchman'. Due to the Blood Moon, The Ghosts of Ramshackle were in some kind of hibernation; Yuu was completely alone in the silent walls of Ramshackle.

Yuu pushed herself away from the desk and rose from her seat before leaving her room to head down the stairs to make herself something small to eat and maybe a cup of tea; all that reading and still the dots were not connecting for her, at least not at the moment.

Upon reaching the kitchen and putting the kettle on to the tea, Yuu placed a frozen pizza in her toaster oven and turned the timer; that was when her phone, a gift from Professor Crewel (Dad Crewel!), binged with a message. She pulled it out of her pocket and opened the message - it was from Ace in the group chat she had with Ace and Deuce.

Ace Trappola❤: Hey, Yuu! Sorry to bother you but we have a problem here.

Yuu: What is the problem, Ace?

Ace Trappola❤: We lost Grim.

Yuu: What do you mean you lost Grim? What happened?

Ace Trappola❤: We were invited to Scarabia Dorm for their party and everything was going good, but when the food came, we noticed that Grim wasn't anywhere around and we both know he loves food. Did he come back to Ramshackle by any chance?

Yuu: No, I am here alone. When was the last time you saw him?

Ace Trappola❤: Last time I saw him, he was talking to Jamil.

Yuu: Jamil? Jamil isn't that fond of Grim. what could they have been talking about?

Just then, a new text appeared from Deuce Spade.

Deuce Spade♠: I found Grim! He was locked in a broom closet and he was passed out!

Yuu: What do you mean? Is he awake now?

Deuce Spade♠: Yeah, but that's not important right now! Yuu, you need to leave Ramshackle right now! Grim wasn't just knocked out, he was Snake Whispered!

That text caused Yuu's eyes to widen in shock: The Snake Whisper was the Unique Magic of Jamil Viper, Scarabia's Vice Dorm Warden who overblotted while attempting to stage a coup but was stopped by Yuu.

Ever since that night, Jamil's attitude and relationship with Kalim and his dorm mates have been better, he integrated himself into Yuu's Friendship Circle, however, he was never really interested in speaking to the others in the group: He only wanted to speak and interact with Yuu. In fact, he seemed as if he wanted to be more to Yuu than 'just a friend', at least, that is what his actions spoke:

During meal times, he would bring food for Yuu along with his own and Kalim's. He always made sure to sit next to her and if there was anyone else occupying the seats next to Yuu, he would demand that they give up their seat for him. During one such occasion, Jamil forcibly removed Ace from his seat when he refused to give it up willingly to the Viper.

Whenever Yuu expressed a need for something, no matter how small it was, Jamil always brought it to her. He brought her school materials and even odd things like newer versions of items. Yuu suspected that Jamil was following her because she had mentioned a Triple Layered Cheesecake with strawberries on top that her mother used to make for her on her birthday. She had kept a copy of the recipe card in her room at Ramshackle. However, on the day of her 17th Birthday Party, Jamil surprised her with the exact same cake, which tasted just like her mother's recipe. Yuu was grateful for the cake, but couldn't understand how Jamil knew the recipe when the recipe card was in her room and no one had access to it. It made her wonder if Jamil had been in her room without her knowledge. The very thought scared her but she refused to show it.

Jamil always found ways to be near Yuu. He would volunteer to work with her on paired projects and assist her with finding books. However, Yuu noticed that whenever she was looking for books related to the Dark Mirror, they were difficult to find when Jamil was around. When she searched without him, she found them easily. Whenever Yuu invited her friends to her place to relax, Jamil would bring ingredients to make delicious desserts for himself, Yuu, and Kalim. However, he would only give cookies to the others so Yuu wouldn't get mad at him.

The most troubling thing about Jamil in Yuu's opinion was that he was very possessive and insistent that Yuu spend time with him; he would grab her forearm and bring her closer to him whenever they were walking with their friends or glare at other students who spoke to her for too long, the longest he lasted before scaring someone off was 2 minutes.

Now, Grim was Snake Whispered and locked in a broom closet in Scarabia? What the hell is going on and why would Jamil do something like this?

That was when the lights went out and Yuu was now standing in utter darkness just as the timer on the Toaster Over went off and the Kettle started steaming. Yuu slightly jumped when the lights went out but soon calmed herself down as she shook her phone to trigger the flashlight before walking out of the kitchen and looking down the hallway; every single light in Ramshackle was out but this was confusing. The weather was perfect for Halloween and Yuu recently got the old wiring in the power box replaced to make sure there were no fires or blackouts.

'Was someone trying to play a trick on me? It was Halloween after all.' Yuu thought as she walked to the front door, opened it, and went out and around Ramshackle to look for the power box, only to find something shocking: The Power Box was damaged...by some kind of creature. 3 large and deep claw marks slashed through the wires and circuit boards, causing the blackout; something or someone did this on purpose...and it was most likely that it was still around.

Yuu turned on her heel and ran back into Ramshackle, slamming the door behind her and locking the door before calming down and heading up the stairs to return to her room, and closed the door behind her before turning to face it with her back to the window. She closed her eyes while taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She had to calm down and think; all she had to do was...

*Tap*

Yuu's eyes widened at the sound of tapping on the glass behind her but she was too frozen to move, that's when she noticed something else; the shadow that consumed hers. There was something watching her and it was large.

"My, my, Prefect. All alone on this Halloween night? Why don't you let me in and I shall hold you tight." The voice said. Wait. That voice.

Yuu pushed through her fear and turned around and came face to face with none other than Jamil Viper, but it would seem that the Viper was hiding more than his hatred for Kalim during the Coup.

Jamil was no longer completely human, Yuu could tell that from the large wolf-like ears and the long bushy tail waving side to side slowly with excitement. Red markings rest upon Jamil's cheeks like whispers and a very decorated marking on his forehead. He was dressed in a rather nice outfit like he was at the party, but she knew that was no costume; by the look of his canine-like feet wrapped in black bandages and the claws wrapped in the same material up to his forearms. Yuu could see the obvious: Jamil Viper was a Werewolf.

"Trying to stay calm, Prefect? That is utterly adorable, however, that is not going to fool me. I can hear your heart pounding against your chest. I can see your pupils jumping in those lovely pools of sapphire you call eyes. Also..." Jamil takes a deep inhale before exhaling with a smile on his face as he places his wrapped clawed hands on the surface of the glass, "I can smell your fear, Prefect, and it's delicious; utterly intoxicating."

"You used your Unique Magic on Grim and locked him in a broom closet in Scarabia's Dormitory during the party. Why?" Yuu asked while keeping her distance from the window, the only barrier she had between herself and the Werewolf Vice Warden before her.

Said werewolf chuckling as his tail waved from side to side like a slow-paced pendulum.

"Still trying to act tough? Oh, Prefect, you're too damn cute for your own good; it makes me want to devour you even more now. As for that blasted chimera, I was not going to let him get in my way and ruin the plans I have spent months putting into place." Jamil's silver eyes - which were as black as coal the last time she saw him - seemed to glow with unknown intentions.

"Plans? What plans?" Yuu asked. Jamil's smile grew, displaying his large canines, as his right index finger started tapping the surface of the glass once again. Yuu's body moved on its own and took a few steps back.

"Let me in and I'll explain everything that's gonna happen before this night is over, Prefect." Jamil purred at the girl, who shook her head at him, making his smile grow even wider. "Prefect..."

He reeled his clawed hand back.

"That wasn't a suggestion."

Jamil's hand shot forward and shattered the glass all over the floor and desk of Ramshackle, making Yuu over her face to keep any and all glass from hitting her face. When the sound of large footsteps hit her room floor and the sound of glass shards hitting each other hit her ears, she removed her hands and looked at the tall werewolf standing before her with a wild grin on his face as he stared down at the 5'3 Girl.

"What is wrong with you, Jamil?" Yuu asked. The large male tilted his head at her with his smile still resting on his face.

"You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this, Prefect: The moment I would have you alone and I would take what is rightfully mine." His tongue ran along the surface of his teeth, "Your skin... It shines so deliciously in this crimson lunar light. I can't wait to see how divine you taste, My Dear."

Jamil had taken one step closer to Yuu and the Prefect's Body immediately went into Fight, Flight, or Freeze Mode. She knew that Jamil was stronger than her, so fighting was not an option at the moment. Freezing was also not a good idea as it would have made her an easy prey for a Werewolf Vice Dorm Warden. As much as she hated the idea, she knew she had to run. She quickly gripped her phone and threw it towards Jamil with all her might. The phone hit him directly in the center of his forehead, catching him off guard and causing him to snarl in pain. Jamil took a step back and held his forehead, giving Yuu just enough time to open her room door and run out down the hall. Luckily, she managed to reach the stairs just when Scarabia's Vice Dorm Warden was recovering with a smile on his face.

"Oh... Sweet Prefect. You know exactly what I want and exactly when I want it." Jamil purred before bolting out of the bedroom and chasing after Yuu, who managed to make it down the stairs and to the front door; she swung the door open and started running down the stairs just as Jamil appeared standing in the doorway of Ramshackle.

Yuu made it to the gate and ran out before heading down the path that led to the Hall of Mirrors, but that trip was cut short as Jamil landed in the middle of the path in a perfect crouch; his claws lightly scraping the ground as he looked at Yuu's horrified face.

"Prefect... You know that you are not getting away from me. Just be a good girl for me and let me feast." Jamil purred but Yuu wasn't going for that, she turned to the right and attempted to get into the forest but Jamil lunged at her and grabbed her upper arm in his grip; his claws digging into her skin, making a mark on her body and making her flinch in pain. "Stop fighting me, Prefect; just submit and everything can be less painful for you."

Yuu wasn't having it and punched the werewolf in his chest with her free hand, shocking him and causing him to release his grip on Yuu, he tried to grab her gain but all he managed to do was grab her sleeve and it tore off, leaving a piece of her shirt in Jamil's hand has she disappeared into the forest surrounding Ramshackle. Jamil looked at the piece of cloth in his caws before bringing it to his nose and deeply inhaling the scent soaked in the cloth; a pleasuring moaning exhale escaped his mouth as he placed the cloth in his pocket and chased after the Prefect of Ramshackle.

The Hunt was On.

Yuu ran for what seemed to be at least 20 Minutes, the wound on her arm was slowly bleeding and she knew she needed to deal with that or Jamil was going to sniff her out faster than ever. She went to hide behind a large tree, ripped off some of her pants leg, and tied it around the wound to absorb the blood. She was trying to catch her breath when she heard more footsteps coming, she remained as still as she possibly could and attempted to calm her racing heart as Jamil entered the area, his silver eyes scanning the area before he lifted his head and took a deep inhale of the air around him.

"Oh, Prefect... The fact that you think you can escape me fills me with so much joy; you're making me excited. Once I find you, you're going to take responsibility for this. Keep running. Keep hiding. Make me earn you. Make me worthy of you, Prefect. Please..." Jamil purred and whimpered at the same time before running off in a random direction; allowing Yuu to peek her head out and look in the direction Jamil ran. She knew he was playing with her, he was like a predator and she was the prey he was seeking.

She needed a plan to distract him long enough for her to get to the Hall of Mirrors and to one of the other dorms to seek aid. She thought for a while before she made her move; she needed to do this now and right or she was going to be devoured by a wolf with venom.

The hunt was fun and Jamil loved the rush he was feeling, the thrill of hunting the ultimate prey and ultimate reward made him purr in his throat; he loved working for what he wanted, and claiming his reward at the end made everything worth it, Yuu was giving him the hunt he wanted and she was the reward he was going to claim. He looked up at the crimson moon in the sky - it was lighter than before. The night was ending and he needed to find his prey. He needed to do what he planned before it was too late.

Jamil sniffed around and Yuu's scent hit him hard; she was nearby and she was moving fast. He darted in that direction with wide feral eyes, he was going to capture her and devour her slowly before claiming his ultimate reward. She was right in front of him and he lunged out of the bushes and pounced on the source of Yuu's scent but he was filled with shock and disappointment when he realized that he didn't have Yuu in his grasp, but a small rabbit.

The rabbit was trembling in fear as Jamil looked down at its small body, his eyes locking with the piece of cloth wrapped around the rabbit's body. He yanked it off and looked at it after releasing the small creature; it was a piece of Yuu's Pants Leg, soaked in her blood! She fooled him! She threw him off her real scent!

Her scent hit him again and he was shocked at how far away she was, he turned in that direction and bolted in that direction; he was not going to let her get away. She belonged to him! She needed to realize that.

Yuu's heart was pounding once again as she ran through the forest, her vision blurring as she stopped in a clearing where the moon's light shined. Her lungs were on fire. Her vision was shifting. Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. Yuu could feel it in her blood as the wound on her arm burned.

'What's... What's happening?' Yuu thought as she tried to take another step but she was walking like a drunk person; it was like she was under the influence when she never had alcohol before. She tried to shake the dizzy feeling out of her head when she was suddenly tackled to the ground and held down by her arms; her vision focused once again to see the smirking face of Jamil Viper above her. She attempted to struggle and push him off but it was as if the strength in her body was fading.

"Looks like you're all out of energy, Little Rabbit...and all out of strength; not that you need it, I'll take care of you from now on, My Sweet Prefect." Jamil purred before leaning down and burying his nose in her neck before inhaling her scent once again, "You have no idea what your scent does to me; being this close to you... it's not like smelling your sheets and clothes."

"W...What?" Yuu asked in a weak voice.

"Surely you have noticed little things about Ramshackle, Prefect. Things not quite as you left them? A small wrinkle in your sheets that wasn't there? A new food item you don't remember putting in your fridge? Your soft sweaters being moved around? That was me. All of it was me. I would want you but I could not get close enough to you, so I had to settle by inhaling your scent in Ramshackle while you were away, but I couldn't take it anymore, Prefect. I needed more. I wanted more. I wanted you. I needed you. Now? I have you but you are still not mine...not yet." Jamil smiled as a clear substance coated his fangs; it wasn't saliva... Saliva wasn't that cloudy looking.

"I'll never be yours, Viper... I'll stay away from you until I find a way home." Yuu tried to defy him but all he did was lick his lips.

"I know. That's why I never approached you like this until I had everything worked out. I knew you were going to leave me and I can't have that. I am going to make you mine, Prefect, you won't be able to survive without me once I am done with you... And I will start... By severing your connection to your original world." Jamil's words made Yuu freeze as he used his claws to tear away another piece of Yuu's shirt, the area covering her neck and collarbone.

Yuu watched in horror as Jamil opened his mouth while his pupils shined red as if he was using his Unique Magic before he lunged forward and sunk his teeth into Yuu's exposed flesh; the Prefect's screams echoed throughout the forest.

Jamil kept his grip on Yuu's neck until she calmed down and her screams died down, he smiled against her flesh as he felt her body getting warmer; the venom in his fangs was doing its job. Yuu soon fell victim to the pain and venom, causing her to pass out in Jamil's grasp before he removed his fangs from her flesh and licked the blood from his lips as he looked down at the passed-out Prefect of Ramshackle.

He looked at her bleeding wound before leaning down once again and ran his tongue along the wound, cleaning the blood and closing the wound with his saliva. Once the wound was closed and the blood was gone, he pulled away after placing a small kiss on her neck before placing another one on her forehead before looking at her sleeping face while caressing her cheek.

"I know you are going to be confused and afraid when you wake up, but I am going to be there to guide you through your new life just as you have been there to guide me. We - the underappreciated souls of Night Raven -are meant to be together; you might not understand what that means now but I will make you understand, Yuu. Tonight was your last night alone. When you wake up, you shall have a new life....with a mate that truly loves and understands you." Jamil gathered the unconscious girl in his arms before standing up, "Come along, My Diamond. Let's go home."

With that, Jamil turned on his heel and started walking through the forest with his unconscious mate slumbering in his arms as he headed back to Ramshackle; it's only natural for a newly wedded couple to spend time alone after making a lifetime commitment.

[END]

#twisted wonderland #yandere jamil viper #werewolf jamil viper #jamil x yuu #jamil viper x yuu #jamil x mc #yandere #romantic yandere

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brewstersbru · 2 months

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More radioapple with ace Alastor (cont. of last 📻🍎 fic) sorry if its a little ooc im sappy

“No.”

Alastor’s voice comes out quick and staticky as he expertly dodges Lucifer’s hands trying to pet down his waistcoat. Lucifer immediately steps back, eyes wide.

“Sorry! Sorry, Al, was that not okay?” He asks, still keeping his distance. Alastor’s expression is inscrutable, nose wrinkled as he smiles at the ground.

It’s quiet for a moment before Alastor shakes his head.

“I need to be alone for a bit.” He grits, then, just as Lucifer goes to respond, his shadows envelop him and he melts from the room.

“That’s-“ Lucifer sighs, “fine.” Leave it to him to somehow fuck this up. “This” being the unspoken, ever so slightly romantic thing he and Alastor have had going on ever since that night in the bathroom.

It started with meals; after figuring out that Lucifer was bearing his wound, Alastor- for lack of a better term- threw himself into feeding him.

Lucifer thought it was sweet that he used his, surprisingly human, ways to care for him through recovery. The food probably didn’t do anything tangible in helping Lucifer’s body patch itself together, but it made him feel warm, loved. Better than he has in an age.

The food, of course, was delicious, but what Lucifer liked most about taking meals with Alastor was the quiet sense of simply being with another person, without expectation. Without an unspoken asking for something in return. Lucifer had already done his part, and the pulsing pain in his chest each night was infinitely worth each peaceful hour.

At first, Alastor didn’t touch him if he didn’t have to, but just him being there, acknowledging Lucifer’s presence and doing his best to care for him through the pain was enough. Lucifer thought it would be over when he was finally healed, that Alastor would consider his debt repaid and leave him to his own devices once the bleeding stopped.

It was almost too much to imagine.

Lucifer has a nasty habit of getting attached, which is really quite unfortunate given his circumstances. Still, he hasn’t been able to shake it quite yet, and in a shameful moment of spiraling weakness, he had torn through his stitches, hoping to elongate the healing window, even just slightly.

He left the three green X’s alone, tried to keep it secret, but somehow Alastor figured it out, like he always seems to.

Furious, he’d marched Lucifer right back to the bathroom and redid his stiches, this time entirely with the neon green thread he is able to manifest at will. The thread was warm, a little biting against his skin, but Lucifer liked it. Liked that it meant Alastor would pay attention to him.

God, what a pathetic thing to do. He still cringes when he thinks back on it, but loneliness will make a wasteland out of you. And Lucifer was desperate enough to bleed for the company, his blood is a mere pittance, after all. He’ll never run dry.

The longer they spent together, the more comfortable Alastor was touching Lucifer; little brushes against his shoulder as he passed behind his usual seat at the kitchen island, a steadying hand on his side when he checked his stitches.

It was bliss.

There was a starving, gnawing part of him that basked in it; that took the offered touches like scraps from a table and still wanted more. Another part of him, cold and still burnt from the last time, told him not to get stupid, not to ask for more than he was worth.

Never to beg, because begging is unbecoming of a king.

They fell into a rhythm, small touches, loaded glances, oh so subtle forms of care. Lucifer was healed before he wanted to be, but Alastor didn’t stop. Didn’t leave, even when he checked his stitches one day and, grinning, snipped them away to reveal a shining pink scar.

Even healed, Alastor cooked for him. Even on days when he couldn’t force himself to leave his room, a covered plate would be left just outside his door, food incomprehensibly warm even hours after being made. The touches- maddening, lovely as they were- continued, chaste and addicting as ever.

Lucifer began to feel wild with it. Something inside of him- frayed at the edges, and torn in the middle- couldn’t quite grasp what was happening. Why? He thought. Why, still? Why me? He never got the courage to ask, too afraid of Alastor realizing his mistake.

So, they continued like that. Alastor got more comfortable touching Lucifer who was more than happy to let him. It seemed like he didn’t get much practice with it. Touching.

The more Lucifer fell into the lull of security, the more he noticed the tentativeness of each touch, the careful laying of each finger against pale skin, as if Alastor were exploring touch for the first time. As if it fascinated him.

Lucifer never asked- always afraid of doing something stupid to make the final shoe drop faster- but he did notice. And he began coming up with a plan. Alastor is not the only person in hell who sees their relationships as transactional. Good deeds must be paid back. They must, or you’re indebted. Or, more frighteningly, at least to Lucifer, they will grow bored of you.

They will see that you are ungrateful, and they will leave.

Unwilling to let that happen, Lucifer devised a plot. Alastor has very obviously never been very intimate with anyone before, which is totally ok, if not confusing given his objectively handsome features. But he evidently, somehow, feels safe exploring intimacy with Lucifer, which is so incredibly heartening (it makes something hot burst in his chest every time he thinks about it). Lucifer can use this to pay Alastor back, slowly introduce him to different touches until he feels more comfortable with them.

It’s perfect. Or- he thought it was perfect. Until today. Until Alastor got that wide, panicked look in his eyes as he shouted “No!” before running off to recover. Father Above. How did Lucifer manage to fuck up this bad? There’s no way they recover from this.

He takes a second to mourn the relationship before squaring his shoulders and heading to his room to write about a hundred drafts of his apology letter. He can’t believe he so brazenly stepped over a boundary, not even realizing it was there!

He’s the king of hell for godssakes, he should know when one of his subjects is on edge, or uncomfortable. More than that, he’s spent enough time with Alastor that he should know his tells, as well.

Some king he’s turned out to be, huh? Fuck.

***

It takes Alastor two days to appear before Lucifer again, and not for lack of trying on his part. Lucifer had forced himself from his room each day, wandering the hotel’s grounds looking for him. Several times he would sit at the bar for hours on end, watching, waiting.

Not for nothing, though, he’s learned something quite interesting about the bartender, Husk, and Angel Dust, the porn star.

Over a series of poorly hushed conversations, and not-so-surreptitious glances, he’s learned that they’re dating. Have been for a good few weeks, and somehow no one’s noticed. They seem glad of that fact, though, so Lucifer resolves not to tell anyone.

More interesting, though, is that Husk has been urging his boyfriend to ‘go for what he wants, for once’ which Lucifer hadn’t really understood until he looked over and caught both of them hurriedly looking away. Super unsuspiciously. It was almost enough to make a grown man blush, the sudden knowledge that he was wanted. That despite what he tells himself in his worst moments, he is desirable.

Angel is an attractive man, Lucifer’s not too insecure in himself to admit that, but something curdles in his gut at the thought of pursuing anything with him while he and Alastor are still on the rocks. Which… Is new, and a little terrifying.

Plus, he doesn’t exactly seem like the type to take charge, if you catch his drift, and while Lucifer is happy to play any role his partner wants, he doesn’t know if he’d be any good at it. Not anymore. He just can’t see himself as a figure of authority, not when he knows what it’s really like to be himself. Pathetic, and lonely. The thought of embarrassing himself like that while vulnerable is excruciating, so he pretends not to have noticed their intentions. Thankfully, Angel hasn’t approached him yet. He’s not sure what he would say, anyway.

Back to the most pressing matter, Alastor knocks on Lucifer’s door late at night, two days after the awkwardness of Lucifer’s unwanted touches. When Lucifer opens the door, he’s smiling calmly, and holding two covered plates, one in each hand.

“May I come in?” He asks. Lucifer nods, doggedly, then flushes when he remembers the state that his room is in, after several nights of wallowing. Being the king of hell does have its perks, though, so he snaps his fingers and the place rights itself.

Not before Alastor gets a good enough look to purse his lips disapprovingly, though.

Lucifer manifests a small table and two chairs, which Alastor makes immediate use of, placing a plate in front of each chair, and pulling one out for Lucifer to sit in.

“Please, take a seat. I think we need to talk.” Great. That’s always a good start to a conversation. Not like that’s ever gone wrong for Lucifer before. Nope.

With a sigh- internally steeling himself against the impending rejection- Lucifer sits. Alastor hums, and follows suit, snapping his fingers to disappear the lids to their food as soon as he’s seated.

It looks delicious, as it always does. Some sort of colored rice dish with meat and veggies mixed throughout. Lucifer smiles and thanks him, snapping to manifest some drinks- a champagne for himself, and a rich red wine for Alastor.

It’s quiet for a bit as they take their first few bites. Lucifer hums his appreciation, which Alastor’s smile ticks up at.

Finally, stomach knotting itself enough to disrupt his enjoyment of the food, Lucifer speaks.

“I’m so sorry, Al. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but I did, and if there’s anything I can do- anything at all- to make up for it-“ before he can finish, Alastor cuts in, voice staticky.

“It wasn’t your fault, my dear. You didn’t know. I’m afraid I…” He trails off for a bit, mulling over his next words. Lucifer waits patiently, eyes wide.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that specific kind of touching. I don’t like it.” He’s not looking at Lucifer anymore, head turned to the side as he taps his claws against his wine glass. Lucifer tilts his head.

“By ‘that kind of touching’, do you mean on your torso? I don’t want to mess it up again.” He asks. It’s a little presumptuous to imply that he’ll be able to touch Alastor, after this, but he’s too on edge to censor himself correctly. Alastor scoffs.

“You did not ‘mess anything up’. There was just a simple miscommunication. By that I mean sexual touches. Or anything meant to lead in that direction.” Ah, Lucifer’s hand had been quite close to his navel, and his intention was most definitely to take the touches further if Alastor was comfortable with it. He nods, apologizing once more.

“Got it. Sorry again, Al, I know you don’t think I need to say it, but I still feel bad. Thank you for telling me.” Lucifer- infinitely relieved and brimming with ill-advised hope- smiles up at him and rests his hand, palm up, in the middle of the table. Maybe he can salvage this. Maybe he doesn’t have to lose everything again.

Alastor’s grin softens at the edges as his eyes rove over Lucifer’s expression. He ‘tsk’s but places his own hand on top of Lucifer’s, gently intertwining their fingers and bringing them up to press a small kiss to Lucifer’s knuckles.

A giddy laugh bursts from Lucifer’s chest and he buries his face- or what he can manage to obscure of it- into the palm of his remaining hand. It’s okay. Alastor’s not angry with him, it’s okay.

A few tears gather on his lashline, but he blinks them away before they can fall. Alastor’s other hand leaves his wine glass to brush just underneath Lucifer’s eye.

“Oh, don’t cry, dearest. It’s alright.” He says, voice softer than Lucifer thinks he’s ever heard it. It occurs to him that this must have been hard for Alastor, too, so unused to being vulnerable, but still showing this part of himself to Lucifer, and for what? So that Lucifer feels better? To put his mind at ease?

It’s so stupid.

It’s so kind.

Lucifer shakes his head, “Happy tears, Al. Thanks for trusting me.”

Alastor’s thumb swipes against the apple of his cheek as he hums.

“As if I could do anything else.”

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rockermazy · 2 months

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All singing in the show is canonically diegetic - meaning that all singing 100% takes place in-universe, for all the characters to hear and potentially participate in.

In the first (non-pilot) episode, the " Story of Hell" book, as read by Charlie, states that Lillith "empower[ed] demon-kind with her voice and her songs - and as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power." After the extermination began, Lilith's "dream was passed down to her precious daughter, the Princess of Hell", who is presumably Charlie herself. Two scenes later, Charlie is in musical-notation hammerspace with other denizens, being the cognito hazard that she is.

In episode 7, Rosie invites Charlie to rally Cannibal Town in defending the hotel during the upcoming extermination. When Charlie initially fails, Rosie asks how she normally explains her hotel. Charlie replies, "Through singing". Singing is canonically a gift of both Charlie and every demon - both Hellborn and Sinner.

Which leads me to a theory: One thing that's been nagging me since the pilot, is how Lucifer and Lilith have been fucking for nearly 6,000 years, but only NOW decided to have a daughter in the 21st century. It makes Charlie's existence look almost Mary Sue-ish*. After watching Helluva Boss, it made more sense that Charlie might be an "insurance baby", much like Octavia is to Stolas' lineage. Lucifer might not be unkillable. Carmine and the hotel battle of episode 8 have both demonstrated that angels can be killed with the right ammunition. But why was Charlie born now, in the 21st century? My theory is that Heaven asked Lilith to leave Hell, hoping she'd take her song with her. Heaven knew that Lilith was the one making Hell stronger through her songs. Charlie uses song to rally the people around her.

Husk used song to heal.

Song, even when used to butt heads, (ex: Lucifer vs Alastor), will make combatants drop valuable info, basically outing themselves to everyone within earshot in this universe.

My guess is that a conversation sometime in the past went something like this: Heaven: Lilith, bitch - we see what you're doing. Stop teaching Hell how to sing - the bonding and wholesomeness is threatening our status quo." Lilith: No. Heaven: Fine, we'll exterminate. Lilith: (years later, looking at Carmine's charts) hmmm... the number of sinners getting exterminated each year seems to be climbing. Heaven might want all of us dead. Hey, Luci-boo... get your depressed-ass over here. You wanna make a kid this time? (Waits til Charlie is somewhat grown, and asks Heaven for a "meeting".) Lilith: ok, I have got an offer you cannot refuse - I will never EVER sing again, and my power will leave with me - IF you give me a spot in Heaven (or Earth - I should technically be immortal since I never touched the Forbidden Fruit). Heaven: um... win for everyone? ok! Charlie herself (for lack of a better term) might be Lilith's "ace in the hole" herself. Also, this makes me wonder if the only way to avoid lying is to avoid singing on the topic XD

*I have nothing against mary sues. I'd been wanting for years now to do something visual describing the internal turmoil that religious trauma caused in my The-Cell-starring-J-lo --like inner worlds. Telling personal stories and Mary Sues are inextricably intertwined. This show has inspired me to either keep pursuing that or just quit. Because picking apart past trauma for analysis can be more trouble than its worth - especially if you are ready to forget. u.u I still get deep chills every time I hear Emily and Charlie's duet in "You Didn't Know", even though I've officially considered myself atheist for like, what, three months?" This shit was an essay. I'm just going to play Warframe instead. Peace.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lilith #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel alastor

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artsybelle1015 · 1 year

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Vil x Anxious!Female!Reader

A short fic about Vil being worried for the prefect.

warnings: reader is a female and uses she/her pronouns, also is Yuu, panicking and anxiety, spoilers for book 5!!! not proof read!

•••

“You,” Vil snapped to her. “Get up and fix your posture, you own this place now act like it.”

Life had been bothersome for [Y/N] ever since the SDC group had to intrude on her home. First off is Ace and Deuce, they were loud and hurt her ears, she loved them but couldn’t be around them too long because of the pain. Then, there was Kalim and Jamil, who always were arguing one sidedly. Kalim was loud as well, but Jamil was scary, he seemed like he would snap at any second. Lastly, surprisingly took the cake for the worst scenario of people who could live with him, the Pomefiore trio.

Firstly, Epel wasn’t as bad as the other two, but he was always making semi-sexist remarks and miserable around the house. Second, Rook was straight up creepy and had a vibe, he may mean well but at the same time she felt some privacy to be gone. Him even looking at her made her feel like he knew her darkest secrets.

Vil was the worst of them all though, making a strict eating plan, strict bedtime, and always judging everyone for anything. She was a frightened soul always, his stares made it no better. Those eyes were filled with disgust. Despite that, she could never be the confident manager he wants, she can’t support them the way he wishes.

She didn’t want part of this, it was the other three of her friends who did, but Crowley forced this on her. How cruel can someone be? Grim was already enough to deal with!

Although he had the best intentions, everyone was scared of Vil (apart from Rook) and thought he was out of line for his training. Deep down, everyone knew he was right and had the best intentions in mind, they all had a goal to win and he knew what to do.

He wasn’t a bad person, but she crumbled in the corner of the hallways, his figure looming over her. She had been triggered by Ace and Deuce arguing and just wanted some quiet, not to be interrogated. A cry broke out from her which caught even Vil by surprise.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, pushing the front of her body more towards the walls. Everything was getting to her, she just wanted some peace.

Instead of getting angry, he only sat down beside her. “I agree they are being horrendous now as of currently though, if it weren’t for them I promise you this would be a respectful house. You though, need to calm down and go somewhere more appropriate instead of breaking down in the hallways.”

This made her feel worse, shying away from him more.

He sighed, “Okay, how about we go for a walk.”

This surprised her a bit, she wasn’t used to that forward of kindness, she shot a look to make sure he wasn’t fooling around. He wasn’t, of course he wasn’t he is Vil Schoenheit, a celebrity dedicated to his crafts.

“May I hold your hand?”

She slowly nodded, still stunned. He merely just grabbed her hand and walked her to the downstairs and outside, ignoring any comment being made. His skin was silky and smooth as expected, and the dorm uniform sleeve felt like a comforting velvet.

“Listen, although crying isn’t a solution, I don’t wish for you to feel unsafe,” he declared, taking them to the main street. “You may or may not have realized this, but we rely on you too, so I need you to be in your best shape.”

“Rely on me?” she sniffled, tears may have calmed down, but her voice was still horsed.

He didn’t say anything, just held tighter onto her hand and continued to stride forward. Although he spoke the truth, he didn’t want to admit her he wanted to see her happy and well for peace of mind.

•••

a/n: ik this is bad and not long, but it was practice for me with my own yuu basically and also because i haven’t completed my other two fics i’m working on since they’re long and detailed augh

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yuurei20 · 6 months

Text

Ace Info Compilation part 9: Ace, Malleus and Trey

Malleus says that he is glad he came to NRC because he was able to meet an interesting person who is not afraid of him. When Ace asks if he is means the Prefect, Malleus responds that he also means Ace himself.

This is possibly a reference to Spectral Soiree when Ace tells Malleus that the act of kidnapping 600 students and pretending to be possessed by a ghost as a form of entertainment was “not cool.”

Ace tells him outright that he needs to “PLEASE try to show some awareness of how overwhelmingly powerful you are. You’re THE Malleus Draconia.”

Lilia says he is surprised by Ace voicing a complaint to Malleus directly and Malleus observes, “Most students at school keep their distance. And rather a few of them flee at the sight of me. But not you. You spoke your mind openly and honestly, and without the aid of others.”

One of Ace’s earlier interactions with Trey involves Trey convincing him to add oyster sauce to a strawberry tart, and then mocking him for believing it. We learn in a voice line that—much like how Cater invited Deuce to join the Pop Music Club—Trey has invited Ace to the Science Club, but Ace turned him down because it sounded boring.

In a vignette Ace lies to Trey’s face in an attempt to learn answers to an upcoming exam saying that he he didn’t want to ask directly as all Trey would tell him to do is study. Trey offers to tutor him and Ace agrees, saying, “At least you’ll be a lot nicer of a tutor than Riddle.”

Ace causes trouble for Trey in another vignette where he asks Trey to bake a cherry pie for an upcoming Unbirthday Party instead of his usual cakes, inspiring other Heartslabyul students to start submitting requests as well.

Ace insists, “But you’re a pro, Trey. You could improvise!…I know I’d love to have a different type of cake every time.”

Trey decides to let the first-years make their own cake. Deuce calls Ace out for complaining about Ace’s cakes but Ace assures him, “Trey’s a chill guy. It’d take more than that to get him mad. If he got made over that, he’d never be able to manage our short-fused housewarden.”

The first-years’ cake is a disaster, they blame Ace for the mess they make and Riddle threatens everyone with collars.

Trey interrupts just in time with a proper cake for the party and says, “That’s why things are done in a certain, ‘samey’ way. Maintaining the peace is no easy task’ and Ace asks, “Uh, just to be clear, you ARE talking about baking, right? ‘Cause it sounds like you’re talking about the housewarden.”

Trey refuses to let any of the first-year students share his cake until they have eaten all of their own culinary disaster and Ace responds, “So much for Trey being ‘kindhearted and mature’.”

In a different vignette Ace tries to get away with brushing his teeth only once in the evening, contrary to a Queen’s of Heart’s rule, and Trey appears behind him to force him to follow through.

Trey lectures them on the importance of dental hygiene and Ace says, “My preschool teacher babied me less than you…you’re just some kind of weird dentistry nerd! I’m honestly freaked out by how into this you are.”

#acefacts #Ace Trappola #twisted wonderland #twstfacts #twstace

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