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that-rock-chick · 3 years

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Love Bites

Love sucks. That's pretty much common knowledge. Combine that with addiction, money, fame, and childhood trauma and you've got a recipe for disaster.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Same shit, different fucking day.

Don't ask me how I'm balancing six days a week at my job and band practice three to four days a week, because I truly have no fucking idea. I tried college but once the band formed, I cut that out of my schedule completely.

It's been about a months since the argument with Gwen and Tiffany went down and our band hasn't practiced. I tried to be sympathetic for the longest time, but it's beyond ridiculous now. Veronica, Tiffany, and I have been wanting to do band stuff but Gwen refuses because she's mad that Tiffany is dating a man SHE broke up with. It's not like Tiffany did it intentionally, and the fact that she's letting her own personal stuff interfere with our band is really pissing me off.

We've all got shit going on, but Gwen loves being a drama queen. Veronica has suggested kicking her out of the band a few times and Tiffany has echoed the same sentiment, but I don't think my patience has thinned to that extent just yet.

But it's getting there.

Young musicans aren't hard to come by, but finding someone who fits the band's sound as perfectly as Gwen's adds on a large layer of difficulty that I'm not prepared for. We'd have to start all over, teach our new singer the songs, establish chemistry...it seems exhausting and more trouble than it's worth, at least for the time being.

"Hey Julie." Dylan greeted me as I walked past, something he does whenever we work together. Sometimes it ends up being the best part of my day.

As the day progresses, I find myself smiling a lot more than I usually do. Customers are easier to deal with and a large amount of them were actually friendly. It created a light-hearted atmosphere in the restaurant that we don't get too often, unfortunately. The time seemed to fly by.

"Good luck Dylan." I said goodbye and walked out of the front door. Dylan was always there a hour before I arrived, and an hour before I left. The rest of the staff is pretty cool, but Dylan is the only one I'd consider to be a friend of mine. He's essentially the less musically inclined male version of me.

I head to our rehearsal space for the second time this week. I've extended the invitation to Gwen, as if she needs an invitation to show up to her own fucking band's rehearsal. If she doesn't show up tonight, she's out. Our time is just as important as hers and we're all tired of it being wasted.

I'm usually the first person to show up, but some days that isn't the case, like today.

"Hey." Gwen says shyly.

I give her a blank stare and proceeded to put my things down on a table nearby.

"Nice of you to finally decided to show up." I stated plainly.

"Look, I know I've missed a lot of practice and I totally understand the three of you being pissed at me, but can you please take one second to see this from my perspective?"

I couldn't help but scoff at what was coming out of Gwen's mouth. Has she seriously taken an objective look at the situation and came to the conclusion that she has a leg to stand on.

"Okay fine. You broke up with a guy, he moved onto Tiffany, you were so jealous that he wasn't falling you around like a lost puppy, and you took it out on Tiffany."

Gwen rolled her eyes but before she could speak, Tiffany and Veronica entered the room. Anger was written all over Tiffany's face, while Veronica seemed to be as cool as a cucumber.

That's one thing I've always liked about Veronica. She can keep her cool in some pretty tough situations. That's not all there is to like about her, though. She's utterly gorgeous. Her dark skin and hair that was almost always styled in an afro were truly beautiful features that I couldn't help but admire. She's beautiful, smart, talented, and has an amazing personality. She's the full package.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Tiffany wasted no time begining the screaming match we all knew was about to go down.

"We're in the same band." Gwen managed to maintain her regular tone of voice, but if I know Tiff like I think I do, and trust me, I do, she'll keep going until she sets Gwen off and then everything will go up in flames.

"Clearly the band hasn't been very high on your list of priorities for the past four weeks. Finally make time in your schedule for us, princess?" Tiffany was speaking with her genuine emotions, but part of her wanted to get a reaction out of Gwen. She knows how Gwen feels about being called "princess".

Gwen looks like she wants to say something to Tiffany that would no doubt escalate the situation even further, but she takes a deep breath and regains her composure.

"I'm sorry, okay? For everything. Julie was right, I should've maintained my professionalism above all else...and I shouldn't have put some guy over you and our friendship."

The three of us looked at Gwen semi-shocked. That girl never apologizes for anything. Instead of responding, Tiffany tells Veronica and I that she's stepping out for a smoke.

I'm not sure if we should discuss things further or let bygones be bygones, but it's not exactly my place to make that call.

Tiffany returns just as I finshed tuning my guitar and walked up to Gwen. If I didn't know Tiffany, I'd say she was going to punch Gwen in the face with the speed she was moving.

"That whole situation was fucked up, but I know how hard it is for you to apologize to people, so I forgive you." Tiffany pulls Gwen in for a hug and for the first time in awhile, things seem okay between the four of us.

"I would like to reiterate that Gwendolyn said I was right." I smiled proudly.

"Yeah, don't get used to hearing that from me."

It was nice while it lasted, at least.

Band practice turned out to be super productive, and it hasn't been that way in a long time. We got a lot of work done today and hopefully we can keep this up for awhile. We spent about 7 hours in our rehearsal space and it felt more like 5 minutes. Time really does fly when you're surrounded by positivity.

The girls and I said our goodbyes and parted ways for the night. Tiffany had mentioned that we haven't seen each other this past month like we usually do. Of course I feel bad about that, she's been my best friend for so long. But I've been spending a lot of time with the Guns N' Roses boys...Axl in particular can be a persuasive little shit when he wants to be. I've already told the guys that Tiffany's birthday is this weekend and they can't keep monopolizing my time. I need more feminine energy!

"Julie!" I hear someone call out. I recognize the voice as soon as it hits my ears.

"Hey Slash, what's up?"

Minus Izzy, I'm becoming pretty close with the members of Guns N' Roses. I just wish that man wasn't so goddamn illusive.

Slash and I walk and talk. Clearly he's decided we're hanging out tonight. I don't mind it much since Tiffany's going out with Victor tonight, Gwen is visiting her parents, and Veronica is doing god knows what, like always. So even if I wanted to make plans with someone, it's not like I had anyone else anyway.

"I don't think anyone's at the house, besides Izzy." From the way he phrased his sentence, it was a clear indication that Slash had no interest in staying at the "Hell House" with Izzy, he usually opted to spend his nights the same way he spent his days: completely wasted. It didn't matter if it was alcohol or heroin, if it got him high, he'd take it.

But this isn't about Slash. I want to see Izzy...I might have a slight obsession with a man who has never even said a single word to me, but I mean, he's absolutely gorgeous. There's something about him that keeps me drawn to him and I'm determined to figure out what it is. No matter how long it takes me.

"Then let's go to the house."

Before Slash can process what I said so he could say no, I grab him by the arm and run as fast as I possibly can while dragging a grown man behind me. It only takes about 15 seconds of running before I realized, Slash in tow or not, I'm very out of shape. I'm running out of breath, determined to get to the band's house. I'll be wheezing all the way down Sunset Boulevard and trying to convince myself it's worth it by the time we get there. But knowing me, it won't.

We enter the house and lo and behold...

Izzy isn't there. Despite me struggling to breathe, the look of defeat plasters my face and Slash starts laughing his ass off.

"Izzy's out working, I just wanted to see how you'd react. Sure didn't think you'd go runnin to our house, though." Slash manages to get out through his fit of hysterical laughter.

"Slash! Why the hell would you do that?"

"Because I know you like him. I got the confirmation I needed. Just wait until I tell Duff!" Slash heads for the stairs, but I grab his arm before he starts his ascent.

"You cannot tell Duff." I tell him seriously.

"He can't tell Duff what?" Duff appears from the kitchen

"And why are you out of breath? And why are you holding Slash's arm?"

"She totally likes Izzy, dude. I told her that he was here and she dragged me through the streets. We almost got hit by like, 5 cars."

My shocked face slowly twists into a look of confusion as Duff rolls his eyes, pulls out his wallet, and hands Slash a 20 dollar bill.

"Dude, you guys bet on whether I liked Izzy or not?" I was part shocked, part confused, and part mortified that my crush on Izzy was that obvious. Izzy seems like a smart man, so I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility of him knowing and not talking to me because I'm a weird chick who likes him without even knowing anything about him.

"Yeah, and now I'm out 20 bucks because you can't control your goddamn hormones." Duff says in mock frustration. I ignore his joke as the overthinking sets in further.

"Does...does he know?"

"Nah. The man's pretty oblivious, plus he doesn't pay much attention to anything except drugs, work, and music. It's fine." Duff reassures me.

Then Izzy walks in. The three of us get quiet when he shuts the door behind him. He looked at the guys then looks me up and down. He then looks back up at my face like he's done several times before, but this time he doesn't look away when our eyes meet, not immediately, at least. I feel my heart start beating a mile a minute at the momentary eye contact and feel myself longing for it again when it breaks.

He nods his head and walks up the stairs. I guess his first words to me will have to wait another day.

"What does Izzy do for work?" I ask, to no one in particular.

"He's a drug dealer." Duff replies nonchalantly.

I don't know how to respond to that, so I don't. Slash and Duff have their own conversation and I find myself wondering what kind of person Izzy is. I don't know what to think. All I know is he's a damn good musician, an equally gifted writer, and a drug dealer.

Who the hell is Izzy Stradlin?

#guns n' roses #guns n roses #guns n roses fanfic #axl rose #steven adler #izzy stradlin #duff mckagan #slash #slash gnr #saul hudson

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ubernoxa · 3 years

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The Token: A Guns N’ Roses Fanfiction

Chapter 14: Royaly Screwed

Story Summary: Story inspired by the movie She’s the Man. A female Duff is tired of dealing with the bullshit of trying to make it on the strip as a female bassist. Did Michelle think it through as she chopped her hair? Nope. All she knew was that she wanted to make it on the strip. If she had to mascarade as a guy, so it shall be.

Chapter Summary: Michelle’s (Duff’s) dinner with her roommates and Walter’s dad doesn’t go as smoothly as she hopes when she find out why Walter’s father is back in town

(Masterlist)

Taglist: @littlemisscare-all @smokeandmirrorz @aratbaby @slashscowboyboots @queen-crue @achiweyow @bitter-13-suite @white-lightning-625

AN: Sorry for the delay with all of my fics, this is defiantly a couple months overdue ❤️

I took a couple minutes to calm my breathing as I stared into the bathroom mirror. I barely recognized the figure before me. It was Michelle’s reflection that stared back at me. The brown haired wig concealed Duff’s blonde hair, and the dress was more pop than hard rock. Duff was hidden away behind the mask of Michelle, it was no longer the other way around.

Betsy’s threat of exposing me as Duff still felt heavy on my head. Everything, she could destroy everything. All it took was a couple words and I would be done, finished. No band would ever want me as their bassist, just due to my reputation.

I got this.

Everything is going to be okay.

Betsy is all bark and no bite.

You will be okay.

I continued mumbling these phrases over and over again until I calmed my breath down. I still had one card I had yet to show, Henry. Henry who worked with Walter’s father. Henry who worked in the music industry.

I glanced at myself one last time in the mirror before heading back to the table with my new plan in place.

Halion were the Kings of the strip, but Walter’s father worked for the record company that ran it. He was my greatest weapon and I needed him on my side.

I felt Nyx’s eyes on me when I returned to my table. I simply ignored him, and took another sip of the wine Walter’s father had ordered. Let him and whoever was watching watch. As any good performer would, I was going to give them a show. As if Betsy’s threat had turned on some switch, I began to play her wicked game.

“So tell me Michelle, how is the coffee shop these days?” I almost choked on my wine at Walter’s father’s question.

“My cousin came back, and my uncle gave her my job. She was going to school for business, and she recently graduated which means she gets my position,” the lie rolled off my tongue.

I offered Henry a smile as he placed his arm around me to comfort me.

Walter simply sent me a glare as I took another sip of my wine. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was actually fired because I got into a bloody fight at work or that I was leaning into Henry’s touch. I felt a little guilt for playing with his friend’s emotions, but that quickly evaporated. I was doing this for Guns N’ Roses, and if I broke some hearts on the way, let it be. Mine had already been ripped to shreds.

“That’s a shame, have you thought about suing?” I couldn’t hide the shock that crossed my face at Walter’s father’s words. Of course he would think of suing! He probably dealt with lawyers every day.

“Well I should add that I was the worst baker. I burned half of the cherry danishes I cooked. My uncle had moved me to coffee and customer only duty a few months back, so I figured it was only a matter of time...before I was let go,” I shrugged again, indulging in my half lie.

“Those cherry danishes, even the ones you overcooked were still pretty good. I remember visiting you one time at work, but you couldn’t talk because you were too busy dealing with an almost riot!” Macy added causing the table to erupt in giggles. I sent her a thankful glance for taking the attention off of me, even if it was only for a couple of seconds.

“Oh a riot of 70 year old retirees and rich middle aged entitled soccer moms? Now that’s a sight I would love to see,” Henry leaned in closer as he spoke and I couldn’t help in indulging with everyone else’s laughter that erupted at our table.

“Hey you laugh, but those old ladies have canes and they hurt!” I joked back.

“Do you need anything? Any refills?” I looked up at the waiter who was eyeing my wineglass and turned towards Walter’s father.

“You don’t need to ask Michelle,” Walter’s father sent me a warm smile as I asked.

“Yes please then,” I sounded like a giggly school girl only earning a small chuckle from Henry.

“Just don’t start dancing on tables,” I blushed at Henry’s whispered words as the memory of me dancing on the dining room table drunk on vodka flashed through my head. That was what? Two years ago?

“Come on, from what I recall you enjoyed the show,” I teased back.

“I did, but if I remember you had your eyes on someone else at the time,” my heart sunk as he hinted at my ex-boyfriend, Nyx. The same Nyx that was currently staring me down from another table.

“Well, tell me, who do I have my eyes on now?”

He sent a cocky smirk my way before taking off his suit coat. “Here, you seemed a bit cold.”

I sent him a confused glance before taking another sip of my wine. I was not cold at all? Had my completion given me away.

“Nyx had been undressing you despite having some whore on his lap, please put the coat on.” His words were more of a command this time.

I wanted to splash my wine in Henry’s face for what he was saying. Duff would have done that for calling Betsy a whore even though she threatened to expose me. Betsy and I were children of sunset strip and he had no right to insult her. Even if she was acting like a whore.

Actually, no, Duff would have done worse. Duff would have punched him in the face. But I wasn’t Duff right now, I was Michelle. Michelle wasn’t aggressive...anymore.

“Are you two okay?” I looked over at Macy as she spoke, without a doubt she recognized my uncomfortableness.

“Yes, Shelly is just being stubborn. She is cold and doesn’t want to take my jacket I'm offering her because she doesn’t want me to get cold,” he replied to Macy who clearly didn’t buy his story at all. It was rather unsettling how easy the lie rolled off of his tongue.

“Fine,” I let out a fake giggle before taking his jacket and putting it on. I didn’t miss the look Henry gave Macy when he looked over towards Nyx earning an understanding nod from Betsy.

“Ok, that smells amazing! Please tell me that that’s our food!” I asked as the air filled with the smell of roasted vegetables.

“Well I did order you fajitas for us to share, so that might be it,” Henry smiled back earning a soft smile from me. This smile was actually genuine, fajitas were always my favorite.

To my relief, Henry was right. The waiters began to place our dishes in front of us and I quickly thanked him before digging in. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate this good.

I remained focused on my dinner, only offering small talk every couple of minutes before our conversation was interrupted by a small squeal.

My face went hot when I looked over to see Nyx had ‘accidently’ ripped some of Besty’s blouse, momentarily exposing one of her breasts. I felt a tug on my heart as I watched her playfully slap Nyx. Was this my fault? Was Betsy acting like this because Nyx promised Pyxie a slot to perform on their up and coming tour?

I remained focused on my dinner as Walter’s father mumbled some choice words under his breath. Guilt flooded my bones before I could stop it. She was acting like a whore because I left her no other options. She was doing what she had to do to make it on Sunset Strip.

“Are you okay?” I looked up to see Walter’s father staring me down as he spoke.

“Yeah, just uhh…”

“Do you know her?” I nodded at Walter’s father’s words.

“I used to be in a band with her, Pyxie,” I added hoping he would look too much into my saddened tone.

“Used to be?”

“I left. The rock scene wasn’t my thing. The music was good, but the people weren’t tolerable,” I paused talking before I looked over at Beth and Nyx, “Exhibit A.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

As Walter’s father continued to talk, I became lost in my thoughts. Was I ever that wild? No, I reassured myself. Despite the rumors, I always had some

minor control over my situation when I was drunk. I guess that is part of the reason Nyx and I broke up.

“Yeah and I could show Shelly around!” My head snapped back into the conversation at the sound of my name. The nickname only Izzy was supposed to use.

“Show me around?” I asked, intrigued to see what they were talking about.

“Yeah, the music studio! Sadly I won’t be able to show you around first thing tomorrow morning because the three of us will be talking to the local bars to see about any rising stars to replace Halion. Would the afternoon work? Say 4ish?” I nodded feeling a pit grow in my stomach.

Turns out I had similar plans as Walter, Henry, and Walter’s father. Axl and I were also going to talk to local bars to get gigs. Maybe I could reschedule? I immediately shot down that idea. Axl wasn’t one to be tolerable when it came to changing plans on him, and he would most likely accuse me of not being devoted to the band. Slash and Izzy would understand, but Axl didn’t know.

Unless I told Axl that I was secretly Duff who is a girl and not a guy. Yeah, Axl totally wouldn’t overreact to that. I almost laughed at the idea of telling Axl that I was masquerading as Duff. Saying he would freak out was an understatement.

“What were those three bands you mentioned earlier?” Henry asked, his attention focused on Walter’s father,

“Truer Blindness, Falcon and Guns N’ Roses,” I almost choked on a pepper when he mentioned Guns N’ Roses.

I locked eyes with Macy, and I did my best to hide my panic.

“All those are rock bands, I thought you would be getting away from the rock scene after the mini hell Halion caused,” Walter asked. I tried to follow the bitterness in his tone. I hid the shock once I realized he was jealous that Henry knew about the bands his own father was looking into before his own son knew.

“I want to get out of the scene, but the payoff is always too good. A new band would have enough motivation to get an album done while costing the company minimal money. Once they get too big, then we would dump them. Usually rockstars start getting big heads after their first album. Which means I dump them after the second album,” Walter’s father clarified.

“Are there any standouts?” I shot Macy a glance as she spoke.

“True Blindness has been on the strip for a while, so they would have the potential to bring in a steady income. I am a bit concerned that no other label had picked them up. Falcon is a newer band that we have heard murmurs about. One of our competitor record companies is interested in them, so naturally I am as well. The big one I’m interested in seeing is Guns N’Roses. Apparently they are a bit wild, but they are new and draw in a big crowd whenever they perform. Guns N’ Roses is a definitely a wild card.” I remained frozen at Walter’s father’s words.

“Guns N’ Roses? That’s Duff’s band, right?” I nodded at Henry’s words.

“You know them?” Walter’ father’s words sent electricity through my veins.

“Yeah, I have made coffee for them,” I replied before returning back to my food.

I wasn’t just fucked, I was full on screwed.

#gnr fanfiction #guns n’ roses fanfic #gnr fanfic #gnr imagine #guns n’ roses fanfiction #guns n’ roses imagine #duff mckagan fanfiction #duff mckagan / oc #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan fanfic

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iamtrebleclefstories · 4 years

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The Little Bit of Hope I Cling To - Part 4

Izzie goes to Grey Sloan in hopes of seeing Bailey, Meredith, or Alex. She meets Dr. Karev instead.

the end of the road

Part 4

——————

The months following were smooth sailing, until they weren’t. Jo was about seven months in her pregnancy when it seemed like everything had gone to shit. Izzie got sick again and was back in a hospital bed undergoing multiple treatments and would be undergoing a resection for new mets that appeared along her small intestine.

Everything had been going so well. Izzie had been hired by Alex as a full time neurosurgeon at Grey Sloan, Geo was thriving in his school and enjoying have “cousins” to play with, even Piper—the damn dog—was happy.

That’s why Jo was so pissed. For months, she’d been working tirelessly on her fellowship research to find a breakthrough that could maybe save Izzie’s life and stop the spread of her cancer. Finding out that the cancer was back was like a punch in the gut for all the time Jo had spent trying to come up with a solution. It was made increasingly difficult by the fact that Jo had become friends of sorts with her husband’s ex-wife. They had forged a friendship from the most unexpected of circumstances and it was one that Jo was grateful for.

Jo’s impending motherhood didn’t help the situation either. She knew that she’d be going on maternity leave in a few months, but what would that mean for Izzie? Jo couldn’t just stop now. Not when Izzie needed her the most.

She’d been sitting in the attending’s lounge with her head in her hands when she heard someone shuffle through the door.

“Hey.”

Jo looked up to find Link standing in the doorway. She gave him a small smile, “Hey.”

“You okay?”

“Nope,” Jo laughed dryly. “I’m stressed and tired and my feet hurt and I just need to figure out this medical breakthrough so that a woman that I’ve grown to care about doesn’t die.”

“So... just another Thursday, right?” Link quipped sarcastically. He sat down next to Jo and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Look, I know you feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but it’s not all on just you. Whether you figure it out or not, it doesn’t make you any less of a good doctor. It doesn’t mean that you didn’t try your hardest. You are going to run yourself to the ground if you keep going at the rate you’re going, and I know that can’t be good for the baby.”

Jo let a tear slide down her cheek, “I know... I just wish there was something more I could do. I’m running out of options. She’s my patient and it’s my job to help her, but she’s also become the most unlikely friend. I just... I don’t want her to die.”

“No one wants her to die. But if she does, it won’t be your fault. It won’t be because you didn’t try hard enough. It’ll be because she had cancer and try as we might, sometimes the cancer wins. Regardless of who wins, you have given her time. Time she wouldn’t have had if she never would came to this hospital looking for old friends and instead stumbling upon you. She gets time and a chance to fight because of you. Don’t forget that,” Link pulled Jo in for a sideways hug. “Now, dry up those tears and go to her room and tell her what’s next in your plan to try to save her life.”

Jo chuckled softly, “Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Link shrugged. “Seriously though, you’re gonna wanna wipe your face. You’ve got some mascara running down your face.”

“Shut up,” Jo rolled her eyes and stood to look in the mirror. Yikes. She did look pretty wrecked. She grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table and began to blot her face.

Satisfied with her appearance, Jo said goodbye to Link and made her way down to Izzie’s hospital room. As she approached, she saw Alex with Geo on his lap and Meredith talking to Izzie as she knitted a scarf. Smiling, Jo knocked on the door as she walked in, “Hey. I see you have some company.”

“Jo! We were just talking about you—oh my goodness... your belly looks absolutely precious today,” Izzie beamed brightly.

“Thank you,” Jo nodded gratefully and looked over at Alex who was staring at her with love in his eyes.

“Oh! You see, that’s the look. The one we were talking about,” Meredith pointed at Alex.

“What look?” Jo scrunched her face.

“The lovey-dovey look Alex gets on his face anytime you walk into the room. It’s like he worships the ground you walk on,” Izzie teased, a wide grin on her face.

“Yup,” Meredith nodded. “The look of complete and utter adoration.”

Geo looked in between Jo and Alex briefly before agreeing, “Uncle Alex looks at you like you’re the most pwetty thing ever to exist!”

“That’s because she is,” Alex ruffled Geo’s hair, causing the young boy to erupt into a fit of giggles. He looked up at Jo again, “How are you feeling?”

“Good... a bit tired and Link may have just witnessed me have a hormonal break down in the lounge, but mostly good,” Jo ran a hand over her swollen stomach. “Baby is kicking a lot today.”

“Can I feel?” Geo asked excitedly, jumping up from his spot on Alex’s lap. “Pwetty please?”

“Sure,” Jo smiled at the boy and guided his little hand up to where the baby’s feet were. “You feel that thump? That’s the baby.”

“Woah,” Geo’s eyes widened in wonder. “This is so cool!”

“It is pretty cool isn’t it?” Jo winked at him. “What’s even cooler is that in a couple months, the baby will be here and we’ll get to hold and cuddle him or her all day long.”

“I can’t wait to have a baby cousin,” Geo looked over at Izzie. “It’s something happy and we need all the happy so mommy can get better.”

“You are so right, Geo. A big part of your mommy’s recovery is going to depend on her being very strong. Happiness gives us something to hope for and it makes us oh so very strong,” Jo replied.

The three other adults watched the scene unfold with smiles on their faces. Izzie turned to Jo, “You are going to be a wonderful mother. I can tell.”

“Thank you,” Jo reached over and squeezed one of Izzie’s hands. “I wanted to come in and tell you that I’m actively making plans for what to do next. Right now, surgery is still our best option, but I’m doing everything in my power to figure out something else. Until then, you’ll continue with the IL-2 treatments to shrinks those mets down as much as possible. I want to do the resection in a week from today.”

“Sounds good,” Izzie nodded. “Enough about me, someone tell me something happy or funny to help me distract myself from the fact that I’m stuck here while everyone else is performing surgery. Ooh! Like have you guys figured out a name yet?”

“Not yet,” Alex shook his head. “We haven’t really had a chance to sit down and talk about names. Hell, we don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

That was true. Originally, Jo and Alex were going to find out the sex of the baby, but at the last minute chose to wait and be surprised. It was exciting and made it even more fun when people tried to place their bets on the sex of the baby.

“You better hope for your sake it’s a boy, because if you have a little girl who looks like Jo, that’s it. You’re a goner,” Meredith smirked

“Oh I can see it now,” Izzie laughed. “Alex freaking out because she’s going out on date when she sixteen.”

Alex scowled, “Shut up. We’re no where close to that so we’re not even going to think about it.”

“You see? He’s going to have a complete meltdown if that baby is a girl,” Meredith pointed at Jo’s bump. “What do you think it is Jo?”

“Honestly, I haves to clue. It’s changes every day. Today I’m feeling boy, but I’m a couple hours from now I might think it’s a girl.”

“Well, if you guys decide to go with the theme of naming your babies after a loved one, just remember that no one has named a baby after me yet,” Meredith grinned slyly.

“Shut up,” Alex threw a paper cup in Meredith’s direction, causing the three women to laugh.

***

“Helen, I swear I’m fine,” Jo insisted as she walked into the hospital, her mother in law trailing behind her.

“No you are not,” Helen frowned. “I know that I’m not entirely mentally stable, but Jo, I gave birth to three children. I know what labor looks like. You are having contractions.”

“They’re Braxton Hicks,” Jo tried to explain. “Besides, I am only thirty five weeks. I have a whole month before the baby is supposed to be born. I haven’t even gone on maternity leave yet.”

“Now I see why Alex called me,” Helen muttered under her breath. “Okay, fine. Maybe you aren’t in labor but you need to slow down.”

“Trust me, Helen, I would love to, but I can’t. I have patients to take care of and my research. I can’t afford to stop now. Not when I’m on the brink of something that could save many lives. Not when Izzie Stevens is finally getting discharged again today,” Jo said as Helen followed her into the attendings lounge.

Truthfully, Jo was in pain. She’d been having contractions ever since four in the morning, but did her best to ignore it. She was tough. She could handle a little pain and discomfort. It wasn’t time yet.

“Wait, is this the ex-wife Izzie Stevens?” Helen made a face at the information, while Jo changed into her scrubs. “Alex mentioned that his ex-wife was here getting treatment. You’re her doctor?”

“Yes,” Jo nodded as she pulled on the scrub top and fluffed her hair out.

“You are a saint,” Helen shook her head.

“She’s really not that bad,” Jo turned to Helen. “I’m going to round on her right now if you want to join me.”

“Might as well,” Helen shrugged. “I promised Alex I’d stay with you today.”

“Alex needs to calm down. Worrying like that is just going to give him more gray hair than what he already has. I am fine. The baby is fine,” Jo walked out the lounge and into the hallway in the direction of Izzie’s room.

Just as they were about to walk into Izzie’s room, Jo was hit by a powerful contraction. She took a deep breath and grabbed onto the doorway, exhaling in pain. She shook her head and proceeded into the room.

“Hey Izzie,” Jo greeted and smiled when she saw Geo. “Hello to you, too Geo. Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“Yes he is, but mommy decided to let him skip because she’s leaving the hospital today,” Izzie grinned.

“That’s right! I checked all of your levels and your most recent scans, and I feel very good about discharging you today,” Jo shared the good news. She turned and motioned for Helen to walk in, ignoring another contraction. “Iz! This is Alex’s mom, Helen Karev.”

“Hi,” Helen gave Izzie a wary smile.

“Oh! Hi, Mrs. Karev, it’s so nice to meet you,” Izzie shook Helen’s hand. She looked over at Jo. “I didn’t know that he introduced you to his mom.”

“Yeah, we met just a couple weeks before the wedding. Went out to Iowa to visit,” Jo recounted. “Alex called her and flew her out here to be the pregnancy police.”

“He did not ask me to be the pregnancy police,” Helen rolled her eyes. He’d mentioned that your due date was approaching soon and I told him that I wanted to be here to see you before you gave birth, so he came to Iowa and flew out here with me. He said he’d do the same once the baby was born. But it looks to me like he won’t have to make the second trip because you are having contractions every three minutes.”

Jo’s eyes widened as she realized that her mother-in-law had been measuring the time between her contractions, “They’re three minutes apart? They’re coming steady?”

“Yes, honey. Like I said ever since we left the house, you are in labor,” Helen reiterated and placed a hand on Jo’s shoulder. “You need to cancel the rest of your day.”

“No, no, no. I am not having this baby right now,” Jo shook her head stubbornly. “It’s two early. He or she has still got to cook for five more weeks. Their lungs still need a few more weeks to develop, they don’t have enough body fat to regulate temperature yet, and they won’t be strong enough to breastfeed. So, this baby is staying inside.”

“Um... Jo,” Izzie called out. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m what?” Jo looked down to see a dark streak running down the leg of her scrub pants. She clutched her stomach in pain again. “Oh, crap. Call Alex and Meredith.”

“Geo, run to the nurses station and tell them that we need a wheel chair for Dr. Jo and that they need to page Uncle Alex right away. It’s an emergency,” Izzie instructed her son, who nodded and ran out into the hall. She carefully stood up from her bed and walked over to where Jo was leaning against the wall. “Okay, you’re going to be fine. Jo, how about you let me feel your belly?”

Izzie felt around for a minute before scrunching her eyes in concern, “Alright, keep in mind that I am a neurosurgeon and I’m not exactly sure that this is what’s going on, but I think your placenta ruptured. There shouldn’t be this much blood.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Helen asked worriedly.

“Just hold her up while I find Geo with the wheelchair,” Izzie rushed out of the room and found her son walking next to a nurse strolling a wheelchair. “Did you page Alex Karev?”

“Yes,” the nurse nodded.

“Okay, you also need to page OB and Meredith Grey. I think Jo’s experiencing placental abruption and she may need to undergo a crash C-section.”

“I’m on it.”

***

The following minutes were a frenzy of activity as Alex—who’d been elbow deep in a kid’s body cavity—was notified of his wife going into preterm labor. He got tagged out by Bailey and ran out to find Meredith standing outside the OR board, trying to figure out which OR they’d taken Jo to.

When they got to OR 2, both Meredith and Alex were happy to find that Jo was not alone. Standing there holding her hand was Izzie, who was muttering soothing words to her, “Everything is going great so far. You are doing good, the baby is okay, and Alex is on his way.”

“I’m here!” Alex announced as he came up beside Jo and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Hey, I’m here.”

“Oh thank God,” Jo breathed out a sigh of relief. “This wasn’t the plan. God, Alex this wasn’t the plan.”

“When the hell have our lives ever gone to plan?” Alex chuckled light. “It’s okay, because we caught in time and in a few minutes we’re going to have a beautiful baby.”

“Where’s Meredith?” Jo called out.

“I’m right here Jo,” Meredith walked up to where Izzie had been sitting my Jo’s head. “We got this, thank you.”

“Oh. Yeah... no problem,” suddenly, Izzie felt very out of place. For the first time in the months since she’d returned to Seattle, she felt like an outsider looking in. “Okay. I’m going to go sit with your mom, Alex. Keep her some company.”

“Thank you.”

***

A little over an hour had passed when Meredith finally came out to the waiting room on the Labor & Delivery floor. She wore a bright smile on her face, “Mom and baby are just fine. There was some bleeding but we got that under control and Alex stood over the peds fellow’s shoulder making sure that the baby was fine.”

“Oh thank God,” Izzie let out a sigh of relief. “They’re both okay?”

“Yes,” Meredith nodded. “The baby’s lungs are fully developed. She might have to stay in an incubator a couple nights to regulate her body temperature, but she’s healthy.”

“Did you say she?” Helen asked.

“I did. It’s a girl.”

Izzie laughed, “Oh my God. I knew it! Please tell me she looks exactly like Jo.”

“She’s a carbon copy,” Meredith joined Izzie’s laughter. “I would’ve thought Jo’s cloned herself if it weren’t for obvious mop of hair on her head that definitely came from Alex.”

“Can we go see them?” Geo pulled on Meredith’s scrubs. “Pleaseeeeee!”

“Yes, you can go see them. That’s why I came out to get you,” Meredith extended her hand out to the little boy. “Come on, follow me.”

They walked down the halls of L&D until they finally found themselves outside a room. Somewhere along the way, Amelia, Link, and Bailey had joined them. Meredith knocked on the door before walking in, “I brought some visitors.”

Jo and Alex looked up from the tiny pink bundle in their arms to see their friends—their family walk into the room. Alex grinned widely as he held his daughter in his arms and stood up to greet everyone. He was jittering with excitement, “Dude, I’m a dad!”

The room erupted into laughter. Amelia chuckled, “Yeah we know.”

There was a shuffling by the doorway as someone pushed their way through, “I’m here! I was in surgery. Did I miss it?”

Maggie burst through the door eyes wide, struggling to catch her breath, “Oh my God. It’s a girl!”

“Yes, it’s a girl,” Jo sighed dreamily, very clearly in love with the child in her husband’s arms.

“She’s absolutely beautiful,” Helen fawned over the small child. “I have a granddaughter!”

“Well? Are you going to tell us her name?” Bailey asked expectantly.

Alex and Jo exchanged a look before answering simultaneously, “Taylor Joy Karev.”

“TJ for short,” Jo added.

Izzie watched as everyone—her son included—took their turns meeting and holding the precious little newborn. It was a sweet moment, one that she thought she’d never get to see. It was... odd, seeing her ex-husband and his wife welcome their child into the world. It was odd being a part of the process. It was odd that they let her in after the history between her and Alex.

Jo must’ve noticed Izzie’s detached expression because soon, Izzie was being pulled out of her reverie by Jo’s concerned voice, “Izzie, are you okay?”

“I should be the one asking you that,” Izzie winked. “You scared me a little there. But of course Taylor had to have a dramatic entrance into the world, she’s a Karev after all. Already like her father in that way.”

“She’s been in this world for two hours and she already has him wrapped around her little finger,” Jo mused quietly, looking at her husband helping the Geo and the other kids—who’d been brought over from school—hold their newest cousin. “I don’t blame him, though... I didn’t think I could love anyone this much. I didn’t think I’d ever love anyone more than I love Alex, but this little girl... she’s everything. Absolutely everything.”

“I know exactly how you feel,” Izzie sat down on the edge of Jo’s bed. “When I saw Geo for the first time, my heart cracked wide open. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t given birth to him. I knew he was mine and I was his. Not a day goes by where I’m not grateful for every second I get to spend with him. Especially, since my cancer returned.”

Izzie paused and thought carefully about her next words, “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t alive right now. But I also, wouldn’t be here in this room, surrounded by friends watching my ex-husband hold his newborn daughter if it weren’t for you. You have helped me mend broken relationships and have given me a community again. And that’s all because of you. God knows they wouldn’t be as welcoming to me if it weren’t for your genuine care and compassion. So thank you, for giving me life back.”

About halfway through Izzie’s short speech, Jo felt a couple tears slip her eyes. She tried to wave it off as the hormones, “You’re welcome. Thank you for staying with me until TJ was born.”

“It was my pleasure and honor,” Izzie squeezed Jo’s hand lightly, marveling at the shift in roles. For the first time, Jo was in the hospital bed and Izzie was standing about it. “It’s weird seeing you in a hospital gown instead for scrubs.”

“It’s weird being in a hospital gown,” Jo answered. She observed Izzie for a minute. “Are you okay? You got discharged today and instead ended up getting me to an OR in time so that I didn’t lose too much blood.”

“I’m good. Honestly, I feel really good,” Izzie assured. “I know I’m not better yet and I know that I’ve still got to fight, but things like these... things like these remind me that I have so much to fight for. I want this. I want to be here and watch TJ grow. I want to see Zola, Bailey, and Ellis grow. I want to see my son grow and I want to have another kid. I want to marry someone that looks at me the way Alex looks at you, or Ben Warren looks at Bailey. So as long as I have left, I’m gonna keep fighting for those things.”

Alex—who’d heard the tail end of the conversation between the two women—walked up with baby Taylor resting comfortably in his embrace, “And we’re going to help you do that.”

Jo nodded in confirmation, “Anything you need, we’re here.”

“Thanks,” Izzie smiled and finally turned her attention to the small child. “Okay, it’s Auntie Izzie’s turn to hold this little one. Everyone else got a turn except for me.”

Alex handed the baby over and Izzie grinned widely when she finally got a good look at the little girl, “Oh, Alex. You are in so much trouble.”

“Why?” Alex scrunched his face in question.

“Because she’s gorgeous and looks exactly like her mother. And with the parents she has—ha, I cannot wait to see what kind of trouble she gets herself into,” Izzie laughed. “Let’s just pray she doesn’t take after you and your... wild side.”

“Oh God, no. Nope,” Alex shook his head. “She’s not allowed to even look at a boy until she’s thirty.”

“Okay,” Jo snorted in amusement. “You’re just terrified because now you finally realized that you ten years ago, was every father’s worst nightmare.”

“God, I’m gonna pay for that, aren’t I? This right here, this little girl is karma for all of the terrible things I did throughout the years,” Alex’s eyes were wide in terror.

“Yup,” Izzie hummed and cradled the little one closer. “I’m happy for you guys. Truly.”

“Thank you,” Alex’s face curved up into a crooked smile. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You’re going to stick around right? You’re not leaving Seattle or anything?” Jo asked.

“I’m sticking around,” Izzie took a deep breath. “Years ago, I told Mer that this was just a place I worked, but I was wrong. This is home. This is family."

***

Five Years Later

“TJ! Get your butt in here right now!” Jo yelled as she tripped on a pile of toys in the living room. She waited until she heard the pitter-patter of feet signaling her daughter’s appearance. “What have I said about leaving these on the floor. Someone can get hurt.”

“Sorry mommy!” TJ’s little eyes widened in apology.

“It’s okay baby, just pick them up when we get home later. Right now we have to go. We’re going to be late,” Jo reached out her hand and led her daughter out the house.

When they reached the car, she saw Alex fiddling around in the backseat. Jo smirked, “Having some trouble there?”

“I can’t get this stupid seat belt over her dress,” Alex grumbled. “Was this really necessary?”

“You know how Izzie is. Everything has to be perfect. Here let me do it,” Jo chuckled as she pushed Alex aside to look at the three year old girl that Alex was struggling to strap in. “Hi, Bella Mae. You look so beautiful. Mommy is going to help you get all strapped in because Daddy is having some issues.”

“Daddy habbin’ issues,” Bella giggled quietly. “I wike my dwess.”

“I like your dress too,” Jo complimented the little girl. Jo smoothed down her daughter’s dress as she buckled her into the car seat. Bella was her goofy, energetic kid. Rather than being a carbon copy of her mother like Taylor was, Bella took after the Karev side. Alex constantly talked about how Bella reminded him of his sister, Amber when she was a little girl. Bella and Alex had the same big brownish-greenish eyes and crooked grins. “Alright, Bells. You are all set.”

“Tank you, mommy!”

“You’re welcome,” Jo kissed the little girl’s forehead.

Finally, Jo turned over to the little man that was sitting in between his two sisters. Wyatt Alexander Karev was a cubby two year old that was the perfect blend of both Jo and Alex. It was hard to determine where features of one parent ended and the other began.

Wyatt gave Jo a cheesy smile, “Mama!”

“Hi munchkin! You look so handsome,” Jo ruffled his little curls.

“Tanks mama!”

“You ready?” Alex asked as he rounded the car.

“Yeah. Let’s go,” Jo nodded and thanked Alex as he opened the door for her and helped her inside the car.

When they arrived to the venue, Alex and Jo hurried to take the kids out of the car and walk in the direction they had been told. Standing outside the room, Jo knocked on the door.

“Come in!”

The family of five walked in to see Izzie standing in an ivory gown with a giant smile on her face, “Oh thank God you’re here. I was worried you’d be late.”

“I can’t be late, I’m the maid of honor,” Jo pulled Izzie into a hug. “You look amazing. Decker isn’t going to know what hit him when he sees you.”

“Jo’s right. You look hot, Iz,” Alex grinned widely. “You’ve still got it.”

Izzie rolled her eyes, “Thank you.” She let out a shaky breath. “I’m kind of nervous.”

“Do you want to make a run for it?” Alex asked. “I’ll tell Mer to gear up the getaway car. We’ll leave the kids with Maggie and Amelia and the the four of us will be out of here before anyone notices.”

“No I don’t want to make a run for it. Can’t a girl be nervous? Weren’t you nervous to get married?” Izzie made a face.

“Nope,” Alex shook his head.

“Seriously? You didn’t get nervous? Not even when you married me?” Izzie’s face was painted with disbelief.

“When I married you, it was so last minute, I didn’t have time to be nervous. And when I married Jo, I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. Also, our wedding day was a mess and we had sex in a shed next to corpse and practically missed the entire thing,” Alex answered simply.

“Fair enough.”

“Just take a deep breath. You’ll be fine,” Jo placed a comforting hand on Izzie’s shoulder. “You two love each other and Decker adores Geo and Gabe.”

“Speak of the little devils,” Izzie chuckled as her sons barged into the bridal suite.

Geo had grown a lot in the past five years. At eleven years old, the boy was almost as tall as Izzie. His brown hair darkened a bit and started to curl slightly. He looked more and more grown up everyday.

Gabe had been adopted about four years ago at the age of three. Like Zola, Gabe had come to Grey Sloan for a surgical procedure as a toddler through the African exchange program that Alex had spearheaded. Gabe had needed surgery for a cardiac defect that Maggie had operated on. When Izzie heard that one of the little boys from the program was an orphan, she went to go meet him for herself and fell in love. The now seven year old was a boundless spring of energy that brought so much light and laughter into their lives.

“Mom!” The two boys gasped when they saw their mom standing in her dress. “You look so pretty!”

“She does, doesn’t she?” Jo smiled. “It’s almost time to start so you guys need to go find Decker and get ready, okay?”

The young boys gave their mom a hug and another compliment before making their way out the room. With a couple minutes left before the ceremony started, Izzie took another deep breath.

Meredith walked into the suite, “Okay. Our flower girls, Ellis, TJ, and Bella are ready. The ring bearers are with Decker and the groomsmen. The guests are all here. The priest is just waiting on you.”

“Let’s get you married,” Jo grinned excitedly and followed Meredith as she led the flower girls to the aisle.

Finally, it was just Izzie and Alex left, waiting outside the double doors for their turn to enter. Izzie bit her lip nervously, “Are you sure this isn’t weird? You walking me down the aisle? I mean you’ve seen me naked.”

“You know how many people I’ve seen naked?” Alex huffed a laugh. He extended his arm for Izzie to take. “No. It’s not weird. The past few years have been some of the best of my life. And not just because I married Jo and had three kids. Having you back has been great. You’ve become family. I’m so excited for you to get married and I feel honored that I get to be the one who walks you down the aisle. So, just shut up and start walking before I have to kick you down the aisle.”

And with that, Izzie realized that it had finally come full circle. Five years ago, she’d returned to Seattle with very little hope to cling to. Today, she had a family, a support system that was celebrating her as she finally got her happy ending. It might seem strange or unconventional to others, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

The end.

——————————————————————————

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed the final part of this series. I loved writing this story. I'll confess, Izzie Stevens has never been one of my favorite characters, but writing this redemption arc and beautiful ending for her character, while preserving jolex is something that I wish we would've seen in canon. Let me know what you thought of this and don't hesitate to follow me on Tumblr @iamtrebleclefstories for more content!

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Nine

Words: 4.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, explicit sexual situations, substance abuse, mentions of assault

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I hum along to the Christmas music softly playing over the speakers of the grocery store as I walk down the aisles, pushing my buggy, looking at the different types of cereal.

Nikki doesn't like sweet cereals aside from Captain Crunch, so I just grab a box of it before heading to grab toilet paper and paper towels, along with some eggs, and head to the checkout line, my attention stalling on a tabloid on display.

"Nikki Sixx & Vanity: Their 'Friendship' Timeline," it reads, a picture of Vanity and Nikki plastered on the front...I exhale sharply.

I can't believe it's been four months since Vanity aired out their dirty laundry on TV.

That means Duff and I have been together for three and a half months...

I'm quickly backing up and walking to the sexual health section, examining the many brands of pregnancy tests.

I grab the cheapest and go back to the line.

"I told them not to put those out," my cashier states to me when it's my turn, as she sees me give another glance to the magazine with my husband and his mistress on the front.

When she gets to the pregnancy test, she clears her throat.

"Celebratory or...?" She asks, swiping the test.

I pretend I don't hear her.

I shut my trunk, my arms wrapped around grocery bags as I step to the front door, of the house, the sun setting through the neighborhood, and I sigh heavily as I grab my key.

I haven't been home in a couple days, avoiding Nikki as much as I can, but I know we need groceries in the house and I know he hasn't left to get any, and even though I'm done with him, I don't want him to starve or something.

Opening the front door, the house is a wreck just from a glance, and I quietly shut the door in case he's asleep, and head to the kitchen.

I quickly stop in my tracks when I see through the dim light, coming from the single lamp in the foyer, figures moving in the living room, a light littering of giggles flittering through the air…

I turn the lights on, nearly dropping the groceries to see eight girls in lingerie, girls at least in their late teens, piled on Nikki—and Steven—lips swollen from making out with each other and euphoric glows casting over all of them.

I'm at a loss for words.

Nikki and Steven just look at me, Steven looking like a guilty kid.

"Is that your wife?" One of the girls straddling Nikki asks, looking at me, wide eyed.

"Ex-wife." I correct her.

This is where the story tends to get misconstrued. If you ask Nikki or Steven what happened, they'll tell you it went down like this…

"Vivian put the fuckin' gun down!" Nikki yells at me as I hold his shotgun, the girls screaming and scattering like roaches while he and Steven run to the backyard as I pump a bullet into the chamber and fire off, missing them by a couple inches as our wall by the back door is blown to hell, chasing after them and emptying the gun in our backyard whilst trying to shoot them.

What actually happened…

"Get out of my house." I tell the girls harshly and they look at me, pissy.

"If I want them here, they can be here." Nikki argues.

"They're babies, Nikki!" I shout, and the girls all defensively simultaneously let out their ages, ranging between 18 to 20, but I honestly don't see how some of them are over 17. "Then let me see your ID." I tell them.

"We came to hook up, we didn't come to get interrogated." One of them states.

"Okay, well, you've had your fifteen minutes with Nikki Sixx so you can get out of my house." I repeat.

"Fuck off!" She exclaims to me and I raise my brows.

Fuck it.

I go to our bedroom and grab what I need, and I don't give anybody a warning before firing off shotgun shrapnel into our glass ceiling, shards of mirror raining down as I hear the girls holler and cry out in fear, scampering to the door in their heels, and once the gun is unloaded, I look in the living room and see fluffy black and blonde hair peek up from behind the couch, their eyes bugging, pupils taking up most of their eye.

When the cops showed up, I said I accidentally fired into the ceiling while trying to clean the gun. They were fans of Nikki so they didn't give us a fine for public disturbance, and they didn't ask why eight girls were in our lawn in lingerie, either.

"I cannot believe you." I grit through my teeth when Steven blocks my entrance into their rehearsal studio, his heavy panting clouding the words trying to come from his mouth. "Did you run here?!" I exclaim and he nods, still trying to catch his breath, still trying to get his apology out that I can't even hear because he's talking but not saying a word due to his breathing. "Moron." I hiss, shoving him out of my way to get inside.

"Viv, wait!" He musters out, following me.

"Fuck you!" I shout.

"Vivian, please, let me—" he gasps for breath some more.

"—I hope you're having an asthma attack or something, I really do, dumbass, I really do." I march away from him and he grabs my wrist, a pathetic look on his face.

"Look—"

"—No, you 'look,' I refuse to be the little bitch that just lays on her back and let's everybody fuck her to hell with their bullshit. It's gross and it's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for even being apart of it, Steven, because I thought you wouldn't do that shit to me. Just 'haha it's so hot to do stupid shit that'll hurt Vivian,'" I mock his voice, and he tries to talk again, "No, just shut up and go suck on Nikki's balls some more because I don't think those teenage girls did it enough!" I turn on my heel go to find the guys.

"You're not mad about their age, you're mad Nikki didn't give a fuck." He gets out, taking deep breaths and I stop and turn to look at him, rolling my jaw. "You're jealous, and you know you are, and it's okay and normal to be, Viv, I know you still—"

"—Know I still what, Steven? Hmm? Love him?" I furrow my brows, stepping to him, my heels clicking on the floor when I get face to face to him, our nose nearly touching, my voice shaking with anger as I say, "He could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a single fuck because he's been dead to me for months. And as of right now, you are to. So don't come at with me trying to strike up some empathy for a person I feel absolutely apathetic about." I sneer quietly, turning. "And stay away from teenagers. I don't care if they're eighteen or nineteen, they're still fucking kids."

I grind my teeth together as I leave him standing in the hallway before I try to go into the girls bathroom, only for it to be locked.

"Damn it." I mumble, holding back tears, glancing at the door of the boys bathroom.

Without shit given, I open the door and walk in, seeing Izzy standing over the toilet, cigarette in his mouth, peeing.

He glances over his shoulder and looks at me.

"Viv." He says the best he can, smoke puffing past his lips.

"Izzy." I reply, sitting my purse on the sink, digging through it. "Sorry, the girls bathroom was taken." I mumble.

"No problem." He replies. "Not like you haven't seen it before." He adds and I roll my eyes.

"Unfortunately." I sigh out, grabbing the box with the pregnancy test in it. "Hurry up, please."

He looks at me to say something smart back, but looks at the box and his face falls.

"Jesus fuck, Viv, what do you have that for?" He asks me.

"Okay, I know you went to high school in Indiana and their version of Sex Education was just ways to stick your dick in a pickup truck's tail pipe without getting carbon monoxide poisoning, but when a man and woman have sex, they have a risk of procreation." I tell him.

"With Duff? " He asks me with a confused face.

"No, I got Bret Michaels and Willie Nelson to cum in a cup and I mixed it together and went from there." I sarcastically hiss.

"Fuck you, smart ass, I was asking a legitimate question." He zips his pants back up and steps aside for me.

"Yes, with Duff. I haven't had sex with Nikki in months." I tell him.

"Sorry, I didn't know if you were doing them both or what." He shrugs and I glare at him.

"No. I'm not." I inform him, pulling my dress up and my panties down.

"Okay, that's my cue." He says, turning away from me, in reference to my naked bottom half.

"Not like you haven't seen it before." I repeat what he said earlier and he chuckles, going to open the door. "You're leaving?" I ask him, quickly, and he looks at me.

"Yeah?"

"I need support." I tell him, honestly sounding scared and he leans his head back and rubs his eyes.

"Vivian, babe, I can just go get Duff—"

"—No, no, he doesn't need to know I even think I'm pregnant." I state, panicked. "Look, it'll take a few minutes but I can't wait for the result by myself, it'll drive me up the wall." I plead with him.

"Well, what if you are pregnant, are you gonna tell him, then?"

"I-I don't know." I admit. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there just, please, stay in here with me."

He lets out a heavy breath before nodding, rubbing his forehead.

"Alright, alright. Just piss on the stick because I'm missing rehearsal for this."

It was an agonizing wait, but once Izzy glanced at his watch and said, "alright, it's been long enough," I felt like it had only been a few seconds.

"Maybe we should a wait a little bit more." I suggest.

"Viv, it's been ten minutes. You already put it off once before, come on, now. Cowgirl up." He tells me.

"Okay." I breathe out, anxious, rubbing my lips together and shakily reaching for the test before quickly snatching away. "I can't do it." I say to him, shaking my head. "You look at it and tell me."

"Vivian—"

"—Please?" I beg, giving him my best puppy dog eyes and he lets out a breath and reaches for the test, looking at it, nodding a little.

"Well, Stripey, we're at the bridge, how're you gonna cross it?" He asks me, handing me the test, and I see a perfectly shaped "+" on it.

I started to panic, and think irrationally, as I do when I'm backed into a corner. So in my panicked state, the best thing I saw for me to do, was...

"You are fucking insane." He tells me sharply, leaning against the sink. "Like evil insane."

"Izzy, I don't know what else to do aside from just get rid of it or hope and pray I miscarry, and that's kinda fucked." I explain, holding back tears.

"You want to fuck Nikki and just play it off as his—that's more fucked up than praying the damn thing away!" He whipser yells. "And what about Duff? What the hell happens to him when you pull that shit?"

"I don't know, Izzy, alright? But he doesn't need a kid to worry about when he's just starting to get a taste of what he's wanted for years, now, and I don't want to—"

"—He's going to be fucked up with the idea of you still screwing Nikki when he's under the impression that you two are gonna be this magical little fairytale of unicorns and sparkles and love and shit, Vivian!"

"I know, but I don't know what else to do!" I reply in the same tone.

"Oh, my God." Izzy exhales smoke from his fresh cigarette. "You can't tell me this shit. You shouldn't have even let me know about this because now I'm a fucking accomplice to your batshit crazy scheme." He scolds me.

"Izzy—"

"—You are the fucking devil, Vivian. Axl was right. You are the actual devil."

"Well, you tell me what to do, Izzy, because that's the only thing I can come up with!"

"Why does it matter if the child is Nikki's or not, you two are getting divorced anyway, so why does it matter if it's somebody else's?" He questions, and I stay quiet. "You are filing for divorce, right?"

More silence.

"Oh. My. God."

"Izz—"

"—Will you quit incriminating me with you when you do stupid shit?!" He lets out, slightly panicking. "Now im gonna be fucked sideways if they find out I knew and never said anythi--why the fuck were you even screwing Duff if you weren't a thousand percent sure you were gonna leave Nikki?!"

"Because I thought I was but no—"

"—Izz, you alright?!"

"Duff." Izzy mouths to me. "Shhhit."

"Answer him." I mouth back.

"Yeah, man, I'm good...just really, um, fucked on that pizza from earlier!" He lies as I shove the pregnancy test box back in my purse along with the test, and zip it up.

"Okay, dude, just making sure!" Duff replies, the sound of him walking away letting us know the coast is clear.

Just to make sure Izzy sticks his head out of the door, and glances at me.

"Go," he motions and I do. "Last door on the left of that hall." He adds and I go in that direction, opening the door and seeing Axl, Duff, Slash and even Steven has joined them.

"Hey," Duff's face lights up when he sees me, and be puts his bass down as I walk to him.

He wraps an arm around my waist and leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.

"Hi," I smile when he pulls away, looking into his eyes, while I can see Izzy staring at me from the corner of my eye, taking a drink from his cup with this look on his face like I've just killed his best friend.

I honestly might if I'm not careful.

Once their rehearsal is over, it's around 5:00pm, and my stomach is killing me.

"Can we get food?" I ask him, my hand in his as we step to the parkinglot.

"No, I'm just gonna let you starve." He sarcastically lets out and I cut my eyes up at him. "Where do you wanna eat?" He asks next, letting my hand go so he can grab his pack of Marlboros and settle one between his lips, lighting it, before grabbing my hand again.

"I don't know." I shrug.

"I thought you said you're hungry." He says next.

"I am—that doesn't mean I know what I want to eat." I add and he just looks at me.

"Do you want a burger?" He suggests and I wrinkle my nose. "Okay...chicken?" Again, I don't look pleased. "Dennys?"

"That's fine with me." I nod.

"Thank God." He sighs. "My car or yours?" He asks next.

"Doesn't matter." I tell him.

"Alright, we'll take mine." He says, stepping to the passenger side, opening the door for me without a second thought.

"Aww," Slash says as he comes out of the building, teasing Duff from behind his shades and his own cigarette.

Duff just smiles and flips him off, walking to the driver's side.

"I'll see you later tonight, man!" Slash calls.

"Alright!" Duff says back, shutting the door, fumbling for his keys to put them into the ignition.

"You guys are going out tonight?" I ask him as he cranks the car.

"Yeah, you can come." He offers and I shake my head a little.

"Um, I was actually gonna go visit with Sharise and Skylar for a few hours, tonight." I tell him.

(Pt. 79 CONT.)

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

28 notes · View notes

unending-happiness · 4 years

Note

Hi, I've got a question out of nowhere! I was looking to re-read a story And When You Soar that was on my AO3 bookmark list and it's apparently not there anymore! I think it was your story? Can I ask what happened to it? If it's indeed the story I remember, I loved it!

Hi! Oh wow. It’s definitely my story! I’m smiling so big because you want to reread it. So…..as for what happened to it, I got a little overwhelmed with all my responsibilities in real life and how little time I had for writing. All my wips just felt like a heavy weight on my shoulders, because no matter how much I wanted to finish them I just didn’t think I’d ever have time. And I also felt so guilty about leaving them for so long without updates and letting readers down. So, I deleted all my wips from AO3 and vowed to only post them again when they were complete on my end (except for editing) and I could update them on a regular schedule. And When You Soar was supposed to be a relatively quick story, but then, as stories do, it took on a life of it’s own and there ended up being way more to it than I originally thought, so it got pulled too.

I’m actually in the middle of writing a long one-shot right now that’s fairly close to being sent to my beta. I don’t know what’s wrong with my writing brain right now, but I get huge bursts of inspiration for something new, then it fades, and rinse and repeat. Super unhelpful.

Now, the good news is, I’ve found myself at the very beginning of a period of being off work and quarantined at home because of this delightful pandemic we’re all experiencing, so I’m going to attack my wips with intensity and AWYS has a very good chance of getting finished soon and back up on ao3. Honestly, thank you so much for this ask because I wasn’t sure what wip from my list to work on after the one I’m finishing now, and you’ve made the decision easy for me. Thank you so much, lovely human! To hold you over until I post it again………

And When You Soar-Chapter 1

Alec ducked his head and stepped through the door and into the plane. He stopped when the elderly woman in front of him came to a standstill and looked around, transferring his suitcase to his other hand. He acknowledged the flight attendant standing to his left with his usual tight smile.

“Welcome aboard,” she greeted him, flashing him a bigger smile of her own.

“Thanks,” Alec answered her before his attention shifted to the open door just past her. A tall pilot standing just inside the flight cabin nodded at him and then turned his attention to who Alec assumed was his co-pilot. Always curious, Alec leaned to the side to see more of the other pilot, but his view into the small space was almost completely obstructed by the large man

“Sir,” the woman said to get his attention again.

He looked over at her and saw that she was motioning for him to move along into the cabin. He realized that the people in front of him had moved forward and he was holding up the line.

“Sorry,” he whispered, as if talking at a normal volume would cause further disturbance.

She just smiled at him sweetly again, and then turned her attention to whoever was behind him. Alec shifted his suitcase so that he could fit down the aisle, and focussed on finding his seat without taking out the tiny woman in front of him. He located his row near the back of the plane and saw that his seatmates hadn’t yet boarded, so he quickly stowed his bag in the overhead compartment and sat down in the aisle seat.

Normally, Alec loved being tall. He never needed a step stool, he had always been chosen first for basketball teams in high-school gym class, and he could see over everyone’s head in a crowd. It also made intimidating people fairly effortless, not that he would ever admit that out loud. Being tall was almost always a perk, but he found that flights were one of the few glaring exceptions.

He always sprang for first class when he had to be on a plane for more than a few hours, but his sister’s last-minute plans had him booking the only available seat on the only available flight that would fit into his demanding schedule. He barely had time to get a workout in and grab a quick shower before his Uber pulled up. He was feeling very lucky that he at least got an aisle seat, and even so, there simply wasn’t going to be a position that would make his legs happy. It was going to be a long night and his only hope would be to fall asleep, which was unlikely, as he found it especially difficult to do in crowded places.

He grabbed his phone and earbuds out of his backpack and put it under the seat in front of him, barely leaving enough room to squeeze his black Nikes in there. When he glanced back up, he could see that there was a young man and woman waiting patiently for him to get up so they could take the seats next to him. He quickly stood and moved to the side. The man eyed him up and down suspiciously and then quickly changed positions with who Alec could only assume was his girlfriend so that he would be sitting next to Alec instead of her. Alec barely contained an eye roll. Heterosexuals. He gave them plenty of space while they got settled and then gingerly lowered himself back into his seat, already regretting going so hard in the gym that morning as his thighs still protested from yesterday’s workout. He would feel it doubly tomorrow.

He went through the process of checking and returning messages on his phone. He handled a few work emails and then touched base with his family. He answered a text from Izzy.

Did you make your flight?

Barely

That’s the spirit. See you soon. 😘

If by “soon” you mean in 9 hours, then yes, that.

Grouchy…..You got stuck in economy again didn’t you? Such a diva.

Next time you come up with some grand scheme, I’m going to need you to think of my legs.

Promise, but I’m sure you could use your powers of persuasion to get yourself into first class. 😎😍

You’re confusing me with you, again

Oh, Alec. Try not to have too much fun.😂 We’ll pick you up at the airport.

Hey, I know how to have fun.

And by “we”, do you mean…..

Simon and I. I wouldn’t bring mom or dad. I’m not that mean.☹️

I have plenty of scars that suggest otherwise, but I’ll see you in 9 short hours.

Love you, big brother

Love you, too.

The perky flight attendant had started her safety speech, which was thankfully straight to the point and not one of those lame ones trying to make everyone laugh. Alec fastened his seatbelt across his black joggers and logged into the airline’s Wi-Fi. He put his phone on airplane mode as soon as he was connected. He glanced over at his seatmates to see the man was huddled up next to his companion and they were chatting quietly and giggling. He didn’t think he had to worry about them trying to talk to him, but he stuck a wireless earbud in that ear anyway just to be sure. He scanned the rest of the passengers within view of him and tried to settle comfortably in his seat when he decided that everything was as it should be.

The pilot he had seen when he boarded the plane came out a few moments later and did the standard pre-flight announcement. Captain Garroway had a deep and booming voice, so Alec clearly heard the weather and their destination all the way from his seat in the back of the plane.

He busied himself with scrolling through his playlist to distract himself during take off. He wasn’t a nervous flyer, but the knowledge that nearly all plane crashes happened during ascent and descent kept him from really relaxing until they were fully up in the air. Being out of control in any situation went against every fiber of his being, and he just had to work through it. He spread his legs a little, pushing his knees all the way against the seatback in front of him, praying that the person wouldn’t want to recline their seat. He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes.

The plane had just hit cruise height, the most nerve wracking part over, and he was listening to a conversation between a mother and child in front of him when his phone buzzed in his lap.

Alec swiped down his notifications and pulled his eyebrows together when he saw what app the push notification had come from. Of all times to get a message from someone on Grindr, this one had to be the weirdest. He hadn’t even had an account for twenty-four hours yet, only having downloaded it late the night before out of boredom. His sister had joked recently that he needed to “Meet someone on Grindr or something to let off some steam”, and despite everything in his being telling him he wouldn’t be happy with such a thing, he had done it anyway. He wasn’t exactly sure why he had listened to her, because he had no interest in hooking up with a random guy just because he was within so many feet of him. There was actually someone he had something really casual with, but it had been a while since he’d seen him. So, he could probably chalk this horrible lapse in decision making up to being frustrated and horny. Still, he had no intention of using the app, not really.

He thought about dismissing the message without reading it, almost laughing at the thought of having sex with some random stranger in the tiny plane bathroom, when it hit him that the message actually had to be from someone currently on the plane with him. That thought had him sitting up straighter and looking around him as inconspicuous as possible. He didn’t see anyone staring at him, but still, like the truly paranoid person he was, he turned down the brightness on his screen so the people around him would be less likely to see what he was doing. Hesitantly, he opened the message.

It was from someone called “CoyNotCryptic” and the icon wasn’t a person, but instead was an aerial photo of a city he didn’t recognize. Oh-kayyy, that wasn’t going to tell him anything. He looked around the cabin again and then read the message.

I see you’re on my flight. Enjoy the ride to Rome.

Alec stared at the words in disbelief. What are the chances? He quickly tried to figure out who this mystery messenger could be. A fellow passenger? The app informed him that it was someone ninety feet away, which would have to be someone toward the front of the plane. A passenger in first class maybe? Alec looked up at the flight attendants suspiciously. Both were women and he didn’t see a third, but that didn’t necessarily mean there wasn’t another one there. First class sometimes had their own attendant. Thoroughly flustered, he turned off his screen and laid it face down in his lap again, still eyeing the people around him and the front of the cabin.

He made it an impressive five minutes before he unlocked his phone and pulled up the message thread. He clicked on the mystery person’s profile.

All he learned from that was that the guy was 3O ish years old, 5’11”, 175lbs, Bi, and Single. Seemed intriguing enough, but a picture definitely would have been extremely helpful. Fucking Grindr. This was why he didn’t want to mess with it in the first place. He wasn’t going to answer it. Absolutely not. What would he even say? What if the person was a total creep and it was a disaster for the entire eight-hour flight?

Just a few minutes later, bored and antsy, he decided that it was going to bother him if he didn’t at least find out who it was. Oh, what the hell , he thought, and typed out a message.

The chances of this happening have to be a million to one, right?

He tapped his foot nervously while he waited the fifteen seconds for an answer to come.

I’m not privy to the exact statistics, but it doesn’t happen very often, in my professional experience. Does this mean you’re one in a million?

Alec swallowed a laugh. The wording of the message made him feel more like it was someone working on the flight. That was probably less risky than a random passenger. More than a little intrigued, he typed a reply.

By that logic, you would be one in a million, also.

Oh, I definitely am.

How self-aware of you.

Self-aware and humble.

And….working right now??

Yes, although it doesn’t feel like work at the moment.

Because I’m distracting you?

Don’t get ahead of yourself. It could be the 40-ton jet I’m flying. -MB

Alec nearly dropped his damn phone and he was ninety percent sure he said, “No way,” out loud instead of in his head. The pilot!! The pilot was messaging him on Grindr. What the actual hell had Izzy gotten him into?! He had the passing thought that maybe it was somebody else on the plane fucking with him, and he looked around for about the tenth time. And MB? Most definitely not the initials of Garroway, the pilot he saw before. Must’ve been the pilot he hadn’t been able to get a good look at when he boarded.

He didn’t have time to go too far down that rabbit hole of thought, because just then a voice filled the cabin. This one was very different than Captain Garroway’s and it got Alec’s full attention, to say the least.

“Good evening, lovely passengers, this is Captain Bane speaking.”

This voice sent a shiver down his spine and made every nerve ending wake up and take notice. It was a voice of pure silk that made Alec think of skin on skin, of dark passionate nights, of hushed whispers between sloppy kisses.

He was absolutely reeling at the realization that “MB” from Grindr was also Captain Bane, the pilot of this airplane, a man whose voice alone stimulated every cell in Alec’s body. He was thoroughly fucked for the duration of this flight and he couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad about it.

“We are now cruising along at an altitude of 30,000 feet. You may use any larger electronic devices you have at this time, on airplane mode, of course. I’m very good at what I do, but I’d prefer a smooth and easy ride tonight.”

Alec pursed his lips to contain his disbelieving laugh, his eyes wide.

“Please also feel free to take your seatbelt off if you need to move around the cabin, but be sure to put it back on anytime you’re in your seat. This is just a precaution in case of unexpected turbulence, or in the event I jerk my stick a little too hard.”

The passengers around him chuckled at the joke, but Alec thought that there was no possible way in hell any of them could be as affected by those words as he was. This was an unbelievable turn of events.

“My darling flight attendants will be doing drink service soon, and I’d like to ask you to be patient and enjoy whatever quenches your thirst. Please exercise self-control, though, as this is a long flight for all of us. Also, just a reminder that any long arms or long legs that are taking up aisle space, are most definitely at risk of being taken out by Clary and her cart, and need to be tucked safely in your seat. Thank you very much and enjoy the ride to Rome.”

This man. Holy. Fucking. Shit. He needed a drink from Clary and her cart ASAP.

He stared at his phone and that last message. It was clearly his move now, and considering how buzzed he was from the announcements alone, he wanted to make it a good one. He decided he very much wanted to play this game.

Aren’t there rules about texting and flying?

You are in very capable hands. I wasn’t joking when I said I’m good at what I do.

In all seriousness though, my co-pilot is doing all the heavy lifting at the moment, but if this makes you nervous, I’ll stop. I like to keep my customers happy.

Don’t stop.

I’m not worried.

Good. Tell me something?

Ask away.

What takes you to Rome?

My little sister’s impromptu wedding.

Scandalous. Have you met her other half?

Oh, yeah. They’ve been together for a while. The engagement isn’t that surprising, and, really, the quick wedding isn’t either if you know my family. She’s avoiding a lot of drama. I can’t really blame her.

Ah, family drama, ever delightful.

Unfortunately there’s no shortage of it with mine.

How long are you staying in Rome for the wedding?

Just a few days.

It’s an absolutely beautiful city. I can make some recommendations if you’d like……

That would be great.

Perky red rolled up to him with her cart, pulling his focus away from the conversation. He reluctantly placed the phone face down on his tray and tried to not look impatient as he got his wallet with his card out of his bag. She asked the couple next to him what they wanted, and Alec dutifully passed a soda and a red wine over. She ignored his debit card and poured a whiskey on the rocks, probably the most expensive they had on board, and handed it over to him. His confusion must have shown on his face because she winked at him and pointed to the front of the plane. It took a couple seconds for him to get it and then he glanced to his side to be sure the people next to him weren’t paying attention.

“Oh, uh, thanks,“ he whispered, and immediately felt like a moron.

“No problem. If you need anything else at all, just let me know. I’ll be back around for meal orders in just a little bit.”

Alec took a big sip of his drink. It was easily twice the size of the drinks you normally received on a plane and he felt a little guilty that he hadn’t even paid for it. He resisted the urge to look around and see if anyone had noticed his special treatment.

He checked his phone as soon as he felt relaxed from the warmth that had burned its way down his chest. There were no new messages, but he decided that sending him a drink was a pretty loud and clear message of its own and he started typing.

So, now you are flying a plane, texting, AND buying me a drink?! Show off.

Is that a thank you?

Of course. How did you even know where I was sitting?

Well, you see, there are these things called ‘Flight Manifests’ and pilots receive one for every flight. Although I must admit I’ve never found one quite as useful as I do now.

By the way, who uses their real name for a Grindr profile??

People who want their pilots to send them free booze.

Ah. Well, your grand scheme is working out quite nicely then, I’d say.

Seriously though, thank you for the drink.

You’re most welcome, Alexander. (So useful, that manifest)

Nobody calls me that except for my mother when she’s angry with me.

Would you rather I not?

No….you can.

Good, because I’m fond of it.

Speaking of things I’m fond of, Clary tells me that your "longest legs ever” have no business at all being in coach.

Ah, well, you can blame my sister and her last minute plans for that.

Wait, do you have everyone spying on me?!

Not everyone, just Clary, I suppose. Though, to be fair, she mentioned your legs before I had her bring you a drink. Seems “tall, dark, and handsome” appeals to all genders.

I’m going to need more alcohol if you’re going to keep saying things like that.

I’ll let Clary know the gorgeous man with mile long legs in C36 needs another drink soon.

I’m actually blushing.

I’d give my Louis luggage to see that for myself.

I don’t do selfies.

Really? Not even for the man who tried to get you a seat in First class?

It was all booked. I checked.

Yes, it is. But I tried to offer someone top shelf alcohol for the duration of the flight to switch with you.

YOU DIDN’T. Please tell me you didn’t.

Doesn’t matter. It didn’t work anyway. Please pass my apologies onto your legs.

No.

No?

No. If you have a message for my legs, you’ll have to deliver it yourself.

Do you really think it’s wise to cause a rise in the heart rate of the pilot who is flying your plane?

My bad. Pass my apologies onto your heart?

If I have to deliver messages in person, then you do as well.

Can you put the pedal to the floor? Get us on the ground any faster?

Do you know anything at all about airplanes?

No, but you could teach me.

With pleasure.

Lkkdfskhdkhsdfkhd.

Did he really send a keysmash? He did. He did that, as eloquent as ever. Slightly mortified, he waited to be teased for it. When no message came through, he checked his Wi-Fi connection, then his watch, and finally scrolled through his playlist and chose some music, trying to busy himself with something other than shamelessly flirting with the man currently keeping them alive way above the surface of the earth. He was probably very busy at the moment and Alec had to get a grip, especially since they were only an hour and a half into the flight.

By the time the dinner cart went through an hour later, Alec had returned a few more emails, done his budget for the month, organized all the photos in his gallery, and archived all the files on his phone that he didn’t need anymore. He also might have checked Grindr for new messages about twenty times, so he was more than a little ready for that second drink.

This time the other attendant came through, the one with the darker skin and curly hair. She was just as helpful and nice as Clary, but much less hyper, and Alec found that she had a way about her that he liked. With a knowing smile she served him up the same drink as before. She didn’t even try to tell him where it came from, which he appreciated, because at this point he was more than a little self conscious that the entire staff seemed to know the pilot was sending him things.

She took his dinner order and returned twenty minutes later with what could only amount to two standard airline meals and yet another glass of amber liquid. This one was smaller and accompanied by a bottle of water. He didn’t miss how she took his credit card and made herself look busy, before handing it back without actually swiping it. He gave her a genuine smile, very much appreciating her discretion and she patted his shoulder as she went by.

He usually didn’t like to be touched by people, let alone strangers, reserving his physical affection for his family alone. Maybe it was the alcohol warming his veins or the fact that he was currently being lavished with gifts, but he found that the small touch made him happy.

Eventually, he was relaxed enough that he felt like he may actually be able to sleep, but he still declined a pillow and blanket when they came through passing them out to everyone. There was no way he was going to be able to get that comfortable around this many strangers. He made a quick trip to the restroom and stopped in the aisle to stretch his legs and torso as much as he could in the tight space, before regrettably sliding back into his seat. He knocked back the last bit of his drink and followed it with the water, before sliding his tray back up and settling in. His phone buzzed on his leg.

How was dinner?

Pretty good, actually. I think I owe you a few hundred dollars at this point.

Nonsense, it was my pleasure.

Thank you.

Is it sad that this is probably better than any date I’ve ever had?

That’s only because you haven’t been on a proper date with me ; )

Or because I’m bad at the whole dating thing. (Did you just winky face me?)

I think, given the right company, you’d do better than you think. (Yes, yes I did.)

Hah. A high compliment.

How about this for a compliment…….You really need to warn my staff before you go stretching in the aisle, again. Nobody benefits from a passed out crew.

Who told you about that?

Oh, just a little conversation between Clary and Maia.

Ugh.

I like Maia.

AND DON’T YOU HAVE A PLANE TO FLY?!

Shhhhhhhhh. I’m a professional, remember?

And I figured you would. She likes you, too.

Nobody likes me.

That’s very much not true. I happen to have it on good authority that just a small little sliver of your stomach can cause an impressive stir.

Please stop.

Are you blushing again?

I’m not sending you a selfie.

What if I pout?

Don’t do that. I’ll be forced to take one and then I’ll die of embarrassment. Nobody needs that.

*Sighs* I rather like you living, so I’ll give you a pass this time.

So generous.

You have no idea how generous I can be.

You can’t just keep saying things like that to me.

Why not? I’m just trying to give you “sweet dreams” material.

That might be the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard.

Did it make you smile?

Maybe……

Yes.

Good. Regrettably, I have to go do the heavy lifting now. I’ll leave you to sleep.

Sleep. Sure. Easy. No problem.

Goodnight, Alexander.

Surprisingly, sleep came easier than he ever could have imagined it would, given the situation, which made him thankful for the food, booze, and the exhaustion that came with being up for almost twenty-four hours straight. He drifted off replaying the messages from Captain Bane in his head over and over and a relaxed smile on his face.

Alec woke with a start when the man in his row slid their window shade all the way up. He squinted against the bright sun, a clear indication that he slept longer than just a few hours. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands and tried to blink the sleep from them. When he looked around he saw that a few people were still sleeping, but most were awake and talking quietly, with various drinks and snacks. It seemed he had slept through the beverage cart and probably some announcements, and he imagined that they had to be pretty close to landing in Rome.

He hit his knee on something and looked down to see that someone had lowered his tray and placed a lidded cup of coffee, a bottle of water and a blueberry muffin on it. That’s when it all came back to him. He scrambled around in his lap to find his phone, dropping it on the floor in his haste. He leaned down in the tight space to get it and hit his head on the seatback in front of him. “Shit!”

He glanced at his seatmates and said a quick, “Sorry,” for cursing and causing a ruckus, but didn’t pay attention to them long enough to see their reactions. He had much better things to do.

He managed to fish his phone off the floor and quickly straightened, sliding down his notifications with impressive speed and selecting the one he wanted.

Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. If you need anything else, let me know.

Alec grinned and took a big gulp of his coffee before replying. He needed to wake up fast.

You are a gift, you know that?

Does that mean you’re going to eagerly unwrap me?

It’s too early for sentences like that.

It’s never too early for sentences like that.

How long until we land?

An hour and seventeen minutes.

Aren’t you getting tired?

I’m used to it, darling. Don’t worry about me.

Darling. He actively tried to keep a stupid smile from taking over his face. An hour. An hour until he exited this plane…..through the front of the plane. The front of the plane where this man currently was. Fuck. He needed a lot more coffee, a toothbrush, and a mirror STAT. He looked down at his crumpled t-shirt and jogging pants and swore under his breath. Truthfully, Alec wasn’t even sure he would be seeing him in person when they landed. He hadn’t seen him when they boarded, and so maybe it would be a repeat of that. That thought was too disappointing for him though, so he pushed it away and set about righting himself, just in case.

He drank his coffee down as quickly as he could without burning his mouth. Then he wrapped his muffin up in the package and put it in his backpack, knowing there was no way his nervous early morning stomach would tolerate it. He grabbed his toiletry bag and rushed to the bathroom before the imminent announcement that they had to stay in their seats.

Once he was folded in the cramped space, he brushed his teeth and thanked God for his recent haircut in preparation for the wedding. He spent a few minutes mussing his hair up with his fingers and a bit of water before deciding it was about as good as it was going to get. He ran his hand over his face and decided the scruff there wasn’t too bad, not bad enough to shave in an airplane bathroom, at least.

He started to stretch and then abruptly stopped, self-conscious that people would notice and he’d be the subject of mile-high gossip once again. He returned to his seat feeling a bit more human and a lot more nervous.

Clary came walking down the aisle with purpose, smiled way too brightly at him for 7 a.m. and handed him a folded up slip of paper. He hesitantly took it with a polite, “Thanks,” and immediately opened it and read the elegant script.

Meet me up front, if you want , after everyone else has deplaned.

~M.

If you want. He wasn’t sure he had ever wanted anything so much in his life.

Captain Garroway came over the intercom to let them know they were beginning their descent and Alec didn’t comprehend any of it. He put his seatbelt on when others around him did and tried to stop bouncing his leg nervously. Maybe he had a little too much coffee.

Ten minutes later they landed in Rome without incident, and Alec unbuckled his seatbelt and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. Why the hell was he so nervous? He watched as the other passengers gathered their belongings and exited at an agonizingly slow pace. Twice he got up and helped someone get a bag out of the compartment to hurry the process along. He tried really fucking hard to not compare the man across from him to a sloth, like a total asshole. Finally, when it got to his row he stood up and let the man and woman go by him.

Once they had their stuff gathered, the woman unexpectedly turned to Alec and said, “I just have to know, are you some kind of celebrity or something?”

Alec balked.

The man with her looked shocked as he nudged her. “Jules!”

She shrugged. “What? It’s kind of obvious.” She turned back to Alec. “Which movies are you in?”

Alec huffed out a laugh, “What? No…”

He was relieved when her boyfriend tugged her along even if he was kind of amused at the last disbelieving look she shot him.

The last few rows went by without any more accusations of stardom, which Alec was very grateful for, and then Clary passed by him last, with a wink and a little wave. He groaned out loud and didn’t even feel bad for it.

There was movement at the front of the plane from the crew and he forced himself to not focus on any of it, but instead he pulled his suitcase out of the overhead bin and threw his backpack over his shoulder. He started walking.

It all became too real when he saw Clary and Maia exit the plane behind the passengers. That wasn’t normal, was it? That definitely wasn’t normal. Jesus Christ, his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He got to first class and the other pilot, Garroway, was standing there in front of the cockpit door, his bag in hand. He shot Alec a smug, crooked smile and left the plane without a word.

And then there he stood.

There he stood looking way more beautiful than anyone who had been working all night had any right to. His eyes were bright and kohl-rimmed, his features strong and beautiful even as he nervously rubbed the fingers of his left hand together. He really was a kind of perfect that Alec hadn’t even realized existed. He wanted to devour him.

Alec watched, a little stunned, as he stepped forward. Then, he tilted his head up in a challenge and parted his lips, and that was all it took.

Alec abandoned his luggage right there in the aisle and went to him. He reached out with both hands, pressing one hand to his hip and grabbing his shirt with the other, pulling him into him. He kissed him hard, already drowning in the scent of him, the feel of him.

They started stumbling backward, and Alec realized that he was throwing his weight around too much, but fucking hell, he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t even think as he pressed their lips together over and over. He wanted it hard and fast, soft and slow, any and every way he could have him.

They stumbled through the door and into the back of the captain’s chair with an “oomph” and Alec opened his eyes briefly to drink him in.

“Alec,” he said, his breath hot on Alec’s lips, eyes still closed.

“Magnus,” Alec said, stepping into him even more, closing the tiniest bit of space that was left between them. “Fuck, I missed you.”

Magnus opened his eyes and smiled at him. “Yes, I can feel that,” he said, rolling his hips against Alec’s.

“You haven’t felt anything yet,” Alec said, his voice gruff.

Magnus slid a hand between them, “Oh, this isn’t just anything,” he said, rubbing fingers down Alec’s length through his pants. He curled them under the waistband and tugged, causing Alec to go from half-hard to fully erect in no time flat. “I like these pants…….a lot.”

Alec rubbed circles on Magnus’ ribcage with his thumb to distract himself so he could manage to speak a coherent sentence. “They’re perfect for long flights.”

He nearly whimpered when Magnus retracted his hand, but somehow still managed to narrow his eyes at him. “Speaking of long flights,” he said, “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

Magnus smiled at him. “Oh, really? Whatever did I do?”

At that moment he realized how much he had missed that. His smile, his cunning wit, the elegance with which he spoke, his humor. All of it. He had missed all of Magnus. Desperately. He couldn’t believe he even considered the notion that anyone he met on a hookup app would be enough.

He stepped back a little bit, trying to be serious, but he didn’t remove his hands from Magnus’ waist, because he wasn’t planning on going far, maybe ever. “Well, you were in the city where I live and you didn’t even call me,” he accused, trying not to sound too desperate and probably failing miserably.

Magnus’ eyes twinkled with mischief, which should have prepared Alec for what came next, but before he knew it Magnus had changed their positions, and Alec was being pushed back against the chair, with Magnus pressing up against him, chest to hip. He leaned in and whispered in Alec’s ear, “Mmmmmm, well, if you needed me to dick you down, all you had to do was say something.” He nibbled gently at his earlobe and Alec almost forgot how to move air.

Fucking hell, if that didn’t make him damn near want to beg. “This is me saying something.”

Magnus kissed his neck ever so lightly, which sent shivers all the way down his body. “Hmmmm, what exactly are you saying, darling?”

“Magnus,” he said, exasperated and damn near floating with desire. Or lack of oxygen. Probably both.

“Alexander,” he practically purred back.

That was the first time Alec had ever heard him say his full name and he hoped it wasn’t even close to the last time. He actually fucking whimpered, and that was when he decided this wasn’t the time to be stubborn. “I need you to dick me down,” he admitted, snaking a hand up and grabbing Magnus’ hair. He pulled his head back and away from his neck to get back some control, instead kissing him deeply, sliding his tongue into his mouth and languidly tasting him.

Magnus moaned into his mouth and returned the kiss with equal intensity, before pulling away to answer him, grinding their hips together once more for good measure.

“With pleasure, if you promise to put that beautiful mouth of yours to good use.”

Alec’s whole body was singing at that promise. “Deal.” He looked around, thinking of logistics for all the things they were about to do, and then he was snapped back into the reality of exactly where they were.

“You’re a pilot,” he said, matter of fact, even if a little breathless.

“I am.” Magnus smiled. “Are you impressed?”

“Very, but what else is new?” Alec answered.

Magnus laughed, “I have to admit this is turning out most favorable for me as well.”

Alec looked around, “How long before you have to fly out again?”

Magnus said, “A couple of days…ish.”

“Ish?” Alec asked.

“That’s what I said.”

“Can you come to my hotel later?” Alec asked.

Magnus bit his bottom lip, then grinned. “You aren’t even a little tempted to do it right here, Alec? It is a Cock-pit, after all. It’s right there in the name,” he whispered.

Alec smiled, “Wow.” Honestly, fuck him for being so sexy while delivering such outrageous lines.

Magnus laughed deeply, and Alec ran a large hand down his chest and pulled his shirt down to kiss what he could of his collar bone. “Believe me, I’m very, very tempted, but I want to get you completely naked, lay you out on a bed, and take my time with you. I’ve had enough of cramped spaces for a while.”

“How could I possibly argue with that logic?” Magnus asked.

“You can’t,” Alec said.

“Text me your hotel information and give me a couple of hours?” Magnus asked.

The “couple of hours” part had him rethinking the whole “fucking in the cockpit of this plane” business, but he pushed away from Magnus with Herculean effort and placed one last and lingering kiss to his lips.

Alec forced himself to go back into the plane to collect his belongings, feeling Magnus’ eyes on him the whole way. When he passed by him again, Magnus was leaning against the door, a knowing smirk on his face.

Alec gestured to Magnus’ uniform. “Are you going to be wearing this when you stop by?” He couldn’t resist asking.

Magnus’ eyes crinkled with his smile. “Ooh, does someone have a kink?”

“Says the man who’s obsessed with my legs,” he countered, grinning back.

Magnus laughed, and Alec thought that it might very well be the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. “Get out of my airplane, Alexander.”

#asks #answers #ever-so-nice #this was so lovely #thank you #and im sorry for being such a damn hot mess #and when you soar #oh how i have to get to working on this #ive missed this version of them #fanfic #myfics #malec #malec au #pilot magnus #the one prompted by the twitter post of a pilot messaging someone on grindr

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itsanerdlife · 5 years

Text

Smoke 8/16

Pairing: Ronin!Clint Batron x Black Cat!Reader

Warning: Violence. Torture mentioned. Death mentioned. Nightmares. Lies. Seducing. Sexual humor. Broken and damaged pasts. Killing. Possessive Male. Struggling to open up. Secrets. Dark past.

A/N: ENDGAME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, DON’T READ THIS!!!

After the snap, the avengers split apart. Finding their own ways to cope. Clint found his under a new identity, Ronin. Getting revenge for those they lost. For the family taken from them. The evil left when heroes were wiped out, it became his mission to take out the evil. All while keeping a list of those who could help, if needed one day. Clint stumbles upon a woman, Cat. She’s a mystery in the dark. One happen stance meet, one night, gone like smoke.

After the second snap, setting the world right again. Fury is looking at those kept tabs on. When Cat appears on the screen, nobody know a lot about the mysterious woman who haunted Clint’s dreams and stole his favorite T-shirt. There’s a chance she’s in trouble, can Clint find her, convince her there is more, that he can save her? But is he the cause of what’s after her? Just what mystery is she keeping all to herself? Or is he the one she’s trying to save?

Clint

She sat in the sunroom, Odin in her lap, her fingers scratching at his ears softly.

“Hey,” he stops a short distance from her “maybe we could talk?” He shrugs tucking his hands into his pockets. She eyes him, a small confused look on her face.

“About what?” She asks, her hands stilling.

“You, us, our pasts.” He shrugs. “I don’t know much about you.” He sighs.

“What do you mean?” Her brow pulls down. “You know a lot about me.” She blinks up at him.

“Do I?” He asks, stepping closer towards her.

“Patient zero. Odin. My identity.” She shrugs.

“That’s not a lot babe.” He felt guilty being pushy, but he needed something. Some sign, she was going to give him something.

“But it is.” She points out.

“But it’s not.” He sighs, reaching up, brushing a thumb down her cheek. “We’re together, Y/N. Shouldn’t we know each other?” He asks, watching her. “Be committed in this?” He searches her face.

“We are committed.” She sighs. “We’re sleeping together, I haven’t killed you.” She points out. “Do we need to do the whole talking thing?” She asks, concern on her face.

“Sleeping together isn’t the commitment I’m looking for.” He sighs, dropping his hand. “I need the talking, Y/N. I want to know you and your terrible secrets.” He admits. She swallows hard but doesn’t say anything. He turns leaving the room.

------

Buck

“Fuck.” She mutters. “Oh shut up you fur ball.” She sighs, shoving Odin off her lap. “I didn’t ask you.” She mutters, looking out the window. Odin runs to him, he bends, picking the fluffy, black cat up. Cradling him in the crook of his metal arm. He scratches Odin’s chin, listening to his purr.

“I’ve heard they’re a delegacy in Korea.” Buck chuckles, watching Y/N. She turns looking at Odin in his arm.

“Think Korea town is the same?” She lifts a brow. She looks disgruntled, clearly bothered by her argument with Clint.

“Couldn’t be hard to figure out.” He smirks. Odin gives a low meow.

“Let me guess, you heard?” She lifts a brow, slouching into the couch.

“Well, yeah. But also Clint’s one of my best friends.” He shrugs.

“What’s the like?” She asks, looking over at him.

“Having a best friend?” He asks.

“Having trust?” She replies softly. He nods, setting Odin down, he walks over to the couch. He puts a hand out to her, she looks confused.

“Come on, let’s take a walk.” He nods towards the slider door. She pauses for a second, before slipping her hand into his. He pulls her up, the two of them heading for the door.

They walked slowly, taking the path that leads through the compound.

“If anyone know what it’s like to not trust, it would be me.” He nods, looking down at her.

“You seem to be doing well here.” She shrugs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Because I learned one thing, if you’re going to trust anyone, ever.” He smirks.

“It’s this team.” He looks over at her.

“That’s a lot of people.” She speaks softly, as if she was afraid to admit that.

“These people. This team, Clint and myself included. Will go to any length to protect our own.” He nods. “To take care of our family.” He glances at her; she avoids eye contact watching the ground as they walk. “We’re all broken in some way. Some more than others, like you and me.” He points out, smiling softly when wide, startled, pale grey eyes look up at him.

“I’m not broken.” She replies.

“You are.” He chuckles. “Get mad, you can’t kill me.” He shrugs, when her mouth puckers. “You’re broken and that’s okay. Means you’re more like us than you think.” He chuckles.

“I wouldn’t go that far.” She sighs.

“Y/N, you trust Clint.” He stops, looking at her. She pauses looking up at him. “Or you want to at least. You got out of the life on the belief he could help you.” He points out. “You follow him blindly, and that’s saying a lot.” He smirks. “He’s gotten us into many stupid situations. You want to trust him, but you don’t know how to let him in and still protect yourself.” He calls her out.

“Is this where you tell me how to get over my problem?” She lifts a brow, sassing.

“Nope.” He chuckles. “I can tell you what I did.” He shrugs. “Tried to share a part of my past. Small things at first, once a month, or every few weeks.” He admits. “Than bigger things, more often, till it didn’t feel like the secrets were acid coming up.” He nods. “It’s just an opinion, hell blurt things out. We don’t judge.” He smiles. “Hell between Nat, Tony, Clint and myself, we’ve probably done worse things.” Buck chuckles.

“Right. If I don’t,”

“You won’t hold on to that guy willing to try to save you, because he knows you’re worth so much more than committing crimes for pay.” Buck calls her out.

“And I thought sex was commitment enough.” She sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“You and Nat have a lot in common.” He laughs.

“I get a warm, fuzzy feeling from her. I think we could be, maybe friends?” She shrugs.

“Now that’s something I’ve never heard someone say about Nat before.” He snorts.

“The tattoos, today. I panicked. I ran away.” She admits softly as they start back towards the house.

“I figured that much.” He nods.

“I just feel like I’m this freak show, and everyone wants a peek behind the curtain.” She shrugs.

“I lived an entire life, with no memory of it.” He shrugs. “I did horrible things. They come back to bite me, so I get that feeling.” He nods.

“I can’t figure out what it is he sees in me.” She sighs.

“I can’t tell you that but let me ask you something. What do you see in him? That made you follow him and abandon the job you were hired to do?” He smirks at her.

“Under all his anger, the grief he wore like a heavy cloud, the denial he refused to accept the snap. He has this part of him, a little possessive I’m finding out. But he’s caring, sweet, and the sass almost matches my own.” She shrugs, a small smile on her lips.

“Think maybe he sees the same in you, under all your broken pieces?” He asks her, lifting a brow.

------------------------------

Everything Peaches 2/6/19: @xmtd5 @mo320 @all1e23 @courtmr @avxgers @eliza-kat @izzy--lee @irepeldirt @dumblani @nishanki1 @crist1216 @alyssaj23 @allyp1023 @joannie95 @kolakube9 @rileyloves5 @sarahp879 @sea040561 @tomhardy41 @sexyvixen7 @pcterpvrker @pigwidgexn @doctoranon @abschaffer2 @justrae9903 @bookluver01 @teller258316 @callie-bear15 @nickimarie94 @wandressfox @amandab-ftw @carostar2020 @henrietteoaks @nea90sweetie @circusofchaos @itsagalaxystar @bettercallsabs @miraclesoflove @lucifersnipnips @queenkrissy11 @this-is-mycrisis @sadyoungadult @destiel-artemis @paintballkid711 @isabelcrichards @iwillbeinmynest @sweet-honey15 @chanelmadrid13 @mellxander1993 @killerbumblebee @spookygrantaire @geeksareunique @supernatural508 @sammysgirl1997 @itzmegaaaaaaan @booksbeforebois @childishhoebinoo @elizabethaellison @aspiringtranslator @mariekoukie6661 @pure-princess-97 @capsheadquaters @samanthasmileys @nerdypinupcrystal @atlas-of-the-world @youclickedthislink @futuremrsb-r-main @lovemarvelousfics @notyourtypicalrose @petersunderoos96 @loving-life-my-way @buckystolemyheart @booktvmoviefangirl @supernatural-girl97 @abbypalmer14-blog @fanfictionjunkie1112 @meganlikesfandoms @awkwardfangirl2014 @supernaturaldean67 @neverahdullmoment @xqueenofthecraziesx @queenoftheunderdark @writingaworldofmyown @supernaturallover2002 @daughterofthenight117 @mustbeaweasleyginger @mcuwillbethedeathofme @sprinklesandsugarcubes @whothehellisbucky-1930 @verymuchclosetedfangirl @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @ocaptain-mycaptainmorgan @wonderlandfandomkingdom @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @stupendoussciencenaturepanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @supernatural-strangerthings-1980

Marvel Tag List 2/6/19: @lumelgy @dottirose @jcc04220 @rockagurl @a--1--1--3 @mizzzpink @jade-taillia @coley0823 @widowsfics @bookluver01 @thelostallycat @shield-agent78 @dtftheavengers @ilovetvshowsblog @capsheadquaters @iamwarrenspeace @thefridgeismybestie @whenallsaidanddone @deanwinchestersrifle @fandomsstolemylife00 @daughterofthenight117 @lilmissperfectlyimperfect

Clint ‘Destory Me, I’ll Thank You’ Barton: @ml7010 @coley0823 @yavanna80 @lakamaa12 @boltsgirl919 @feelmyroarrrr @mrsseizetheday @honey-bee-holly @marvelfansworld @mybarnesmyhero @the-real-mary-jane @dumbbitchenergytm @agentsinstorybrooke @x-whyareyoureadingthis-x @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

Smoke: @2s0uls @xxloki81xx @csigeoblue @demonlover87 @capandbuckylvr @marvelfansworld @natromanoffsboys @barton-you-dummy @thefandomimagines @thosesexytexasboys

#Marvel #Clint Barton x Reader #Avengers #Clint x Reader #Smoke #Marvel Fanfiction #Clint Barton Series #Avengers Fanfiction #Ronin Series

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thatscalledtoughlove · 4 years

Text

Didn’t Want to Fall in Love - 1: Drink and Dash

Story Synopsis: Isabelle Rosenberg does not believe in love. And she is content. Whenever a man starts to show interest, she does her best to remove herself from the situation, effectively avoiding disaster. But then she meets Zachariah Gomez. He's sweet, he loves to do what most girls could only dream of from a boy, and Izzy has no interest whatsoever. Until one fateful night that all changes, and Izzy soon discovers that, sometimes, love is unavoidable.

A/N: There is no reason for me to post this on here, but it’s one of my personal favorites so I’m keeping it on here for personal reasons.

-----

I knew the conversation would go nowhere five minutes after it began. A scenario I should’ve anticipated, considering I’d decided to attend a formal banquet for my college’s sociology club. Everyone here tonight wanted to meet someone. Everyone, except for me, that is.

The guy who stood across from me had lovely brown eyes, the color so rich it reminded me of caramel. Paired with his honey-blond hair, any girl would fall for him in an instant.

“What about you, Isabelle?” He looked at me with genuine wonder shining in his features. “Any incredible dreams few know about?”

I did have one dream no one knew about. I wanted to be a painter, not that it mattered. Instead of divulging him with this fantasy, I shrugged.

“Not really. I’m a major in sociology, and I plan to further my education to become a social worker, what more is there to say?”

The handsome stranger whose name I’d forgotten immediately after he introduced himself stepped closer. “Oh, come on now, everyone has dreams they’re too embarrassed to share with the general public. Promise I won’t laugh.”

I forced a smile, the action almost physically painful. “It’s true. Why wouldn’t I go after my dream, considering we live in a world full of possibility?” If I were to be truthful, I hated the formality of this conversation. But cursing up a storm hardly ever made a good impression.

Mr. Handsome, as I decided to call him for the remainder of the evening, cocked his head to the side. “Whatever you say. Shall we head over to the refreshments table?” Who talked in such a way anymore, I hadn’t the slightest idea.

With the fake smile still plastered on my face, I looped my arm through Mr. Handsome’s and followed him to the drink table. As we idled there for several minutes and continued the dreary conversation, I found myself picturing a future with this man.

We would tell everyone of this night. Of how he asked me what my biggest dream was, and how I lied at first, but eventually warmed up to him and revealed it. He did not laugh. Our relationship blossomed from this moment, and we went from complete strangers to a power couple within the span of six months. We would have three children, just like I always wanted, and one would almost definitely end up being Mr. Handsome Jr. Most of our friends would be his friends, because I’d never been the greatest at keeping meaningful relationships, and our lives would be perfect for about thirty years. Then, we would get divorced—mainly my fault, as I am ‘incapable of love’—and the kids would spend weekends with Mom and the weekdays with Dad, since he would clearly be the more responsible parent. I snorted at the imaginary life I’d just created, and a few people glanced my way.

“Should we get out of here?” Mr. Handsome asked, lightly touching my forearm. I felt nothing.

No good ever came of a question like that. I glanced around the room, seeking an exit. I saw the ladies’ washroom across the banquet hall. Salvation.

“Sure, but can I run off to the bathroom first? I shouldn’t be more than five minutes.” I prayed he hadn’t seen me wipe the sweat on my palms off on my dress.

Mr. Handsome tried and failed to conceal his annoyance. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be waiting right over there.” He pointed to the exit and took off without another word.

The moment he disappeared from sight, I ran to the washroom. Mercifully, there was a large enough window for me to slip out of on the other side of the room, near the stalls. I kicked off my heels and hurried to the window. Before I could reconsider how ridiculous I was being, I threw it open and tossed my shoes into the grass.

Music from the main hall floated into the bathroom, a slow, romantic song beginning to play. Mr. Handsome might ask for a dance if I went back out there. Taking a deep breath, I swung one leg over the windowsill. The drop was maybe four feet. No big deal.

Just as I was crawling my way out, an older woman entered. She froze in her tracks when our eyes locked.

“May I ask which man it is you are running from?”

“Tall, blond, beautiful brown eyes.”

She started to grin. “Ah, Justin. Strange that you’re dashing away from such a perfect gentleman.”

I attempted to smile back but gave up after a few seconds. “That’s the way I do things. I drink, and then I dash. He’ll find someone else no problem.”

“That’s very true.” She walked over to the sinks and inspected her reflection. “Well, off with you. I’ll not speak a word of what I’ve witnessed. Have a lovely evening.”

This time I did grin. “Thanks, you too!”

And with that, I dropped down onto the ground on the other side.

A few people threw me suspicious stares when I emerged from the bushes, walking slowly to the nearby bus stop, high heels in hand. The small clutch I’d brought as a purse didn’t have nearly enough room for what I typically considered essentials. Not only was it too small for a book, but I had to battle with it to fit my phone and some emergency money.

“Good evening,” the bus driver said when I stepped onto the bus, his eyebrow raising when he looked down at my filthy feet.

I had no idea how much longer I could put on fake smiles. “Hello.”

He nodded when I showed my student ID with a bus pass sticker stuck to it. There were seven other people on the bus with me, excluding the driver. Two teenagers, three elderly people, and one young father with his child. The father was the only one to give me a smile instead of a glare.

“Long night?” he asked when I took a seat at the front of the bus, across from him and his daughter, who looked around two years old.

Most people never tried to talk to me in public. Then again, I almost always had earphones in. I cursed my clutch for not having enough space for them tonight.

Shrugging, I crossed my feet, placing my clutch and shoes in the seat to my right. “You could say that. How old is she?” I used my chin to point at the little girl, not in the mood to discuss the extraordinary circumstances of my evening.

“Turning three in a few months.” He had a five o’clock shadow, giving him a more rugged appearance.

“Nice.”

Our small talk ceased after that. For someone looking to build a career in communicating with people, I wasn’t the most social person. I preferred to spend time alone.

Ten minutes later, the man and his daughter got off the bus. He told me to have a great day, despite it being close to ten at night, and then swept the girl up in his arms, leaving through the front set of doors.

Guilt for abandoning Mr. Handsome—or, rather, Justin—didn’t sink in until I was making my way up the street to my apartment complex. I briefly wondered if he spent any time thinking about me before moving onto the next girl. It seemed unlikely.

My roommate stared at me when he opened the door after I’d knocked a dozen times. He blinked, looking me up and down before taking a step back. “Okay, what’s the story this time?”

“Don’t you dare judge me, Tony! I had to sneak out through the window in the ladies’ restroom. So, I apologize if I’m not as presentable as you’d like.”

“Izzy, I’ve seen you in just about any state imaginable. Trust me, I don’t give a shit about your appearance.” We’d been best friends since second grade, Anthony and me. He was the only person I could consider a real friend these days.

I sighed as loud as I could, stepping into the apartment. Tony jumped when I threw my heels on the floor. He had always been a bit jumpy. It made scaring him easy.

He slunk back over to the stove, where he’d been making an omelette. “What’s the story this time? Did he manage to get a kiss out of you, or am I still the only one who’s had that honor?”

Five years ago, during our sophomore year during a school dance, we’d both had our first kiss with each other. Tony liked to tease me about it whenever he got the chance. Like me, Tony had been terrible with the opposite sex as a teenager. Unlike me, Tony had had his fair share of relationships since that night five years ago.

“You are still the only person I’ve gotten that close to,” I said, following him into the kitchen. “Do me a favor and unzip me.” I grinned at the smirk on his face when he turned to face me.

Tony shook his head, motioning for me to turn around. “Do you realize how weird it is for you to act so chill around me? This is the literal definition of the friendzone.”

Neither of us spoke for a moment, the awkward silence settling around us. Although we’d never had feelings for each other, there were times when the teasing went too far.

I cleared my throat, pressing my dress to my chest when he’d unzipped it completely. “It’s a good thing we’re nothing more than best friends,” I said, turning back to look at him. “Other than that one time we kissed, of course.”

In truth, Tony had to be one of the best-looking men I knew. His dark brown hair and eyes had a habit of making most girls swoon. Not a surprise, considering the family he came from had tons of beautiful people, his cousin especially. I’d only met him once, and couldn’t even remember his name, but I remembered the unreal face.

“Just shut up and go change into something more comfortable. I need to hear tonight’s story. But wash your feet first. They’re filthy.” I stuck my tongue out at him when he went back to cooking his omelette, crossing the small space we called a living room over to my bedroom.

Twenty minutes later, after I’d changed into some pajamas and washed my feet in the tub, I skipped back over to the kitchen. Tony placed a plate in front of me when I took a seat at the island. He waved me off when I grinned up at him, the smell of melted cheese from the omelette making my stomach growl.

“Okay, let’s hear it.” He leaned on the counter across from me, his hair in desperate need of a trim. Bangs fell in his eyes, concealing the left side of his face.

I held a finger up, finishing the bite of egg I’d taken. Tony waited patiently. “The night started out okay,” I said, taking another quick bite of my food. “And then he suggested that we get out of there and I knew that was my cue to run.”

A grin spread across his face. “Izzy, why are you such a commitment-phobe? Actually, scratch that—why are you afraid of love in general? I can assure you that it’s not all that bad.”

“Better things to do? I have a career to chase, everything else comes after that.”

Tony sighed, taking the plate away once I’d cleared it. “It is possible to do both, you do know that, right?”

I waved him off, standing from the stool and walking over to the easel in the corner of the room by the balcony. One side had all of my art supplies while the opposite wall had dozens of photos hanging everywhere. An expensive camera sat on a side table on top of two photo albums.

“Is there any reason you have this particular photo out of the photo album?” I asked, nodding at the wedding photo from his cousin’s wedding a few years earlier that lay beside the camera. In it, his cousin and his wife stood surrounded by their family. Tony’s uncle—his cousin’s dad—was in a wheelchair, and the bride has two sets of parents standing near her. “You barely even talk to him.”

Tony frowned, remaining at his spot in the kitchen. “What? I like that picture! The way her hair shines in the sunlight makes for a great shot. You don’t see hair that color naturally often.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I laughed when he flipped me off. “Speaking of that, we should really get you out more to take some photos. I still have no idea why you’re studying business when you hate it.”

The look he gave me could freeze Hell over. “Well, when your parents offer to pay for your education, you better damn well study what they want you to.”

Our conversation about school ended there. Eventually, I gave up trying to paint something new and Tony decided to leave his spot behind the kitchen island. We dropped down on the couch at the same time, sitting in silence for several minutes before either one of us spoke.

“I have a feeling we’re going to have to make one of those lame pacts to marry each other when we hit thirty.”

I raised an eyebrow, turning my head to the side to look at him. “What makes you think that?”

“Oh, I don’t know…maybe the fact that we’re both horrible at romantic relationships? You’ve never had one, and I can’t keep one for more than six months.” Despite trying to sound casual, I could see the genuine concern in Tony’s facial expression. He often worried he would never find the one.

“I’m perfectly fine with living my life without romance,” I said, pulling my legs up on the couch with me. “Besides, us getting married would mean we’d be expected to have kids and everything. We can be platonic life-partners instead.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Would it kill you to let some romance in your life, Izzy? It’s not like men haven’t shown interest in you.”

I sighed, reaching for the TV remote on the coffee table. “Yeah, and every single man who’s shown interest in me was someone I had no interest in.” Of course, I did feel lonely at times, not having someone to share my life with, but I had other things to worry about. Career things. Rent things. School things.

My mother often badgered me for choosing to spend almost all my spare time at home with Tony, someone she knew I would never have romantic feelings for. She often sounded like someone straight out of a rom-com, lecturing me about how it was best to have children in my twenties. What she didn’t know was that I had no desire to become a mother, and that the idea of romance nauseated me. I’d much rather watch an action movie, or a horror.

Which was why Tony and I got along so well. He loved gore, and so did I. I loved to make fun of romantic movies, and so did he. We were soulmates, just not the epic couple kind.

“Well, should we watch a movie?” I looked over at him again and was unsurprised to see him scrolling through one of his dating apps. He couldn’t go more than a week without trying to find someone new. Sadly, I didn’t have the heart to tell Tony that the kind of girl he was looking for was likely in a bookstore and not on an app designed for hooking up with strangers in the area.

Tony didn’t seem to hear me, continuing his search through the girls he matched with. I felt a little irritated, and no longer cared about biting my tongue. “Why don’t you go out and try to meet people the old-fashioned way?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. “There’s a girl who’s always at that café around the corner who stares at you every time we go there.”

His thumb froze, hovering an inch over the screen. Curiosity shone in his eyes when he looked up at me. “Are you being serious?”

“Yes. And, honestly, I think she’s probably more up your alley than those girls are.” He frowned, and a small voice whispered in my head to shut up, but I ignored it. “You also aren’t really the kind of guy who just wants to hook up. We both know you’re looking for a serious relationship.”

“Izzy, we live in the age of online dating. Tell you what, I’ll attempt to meet someone the old-fashioned way—” he made air quotes while saying this—“if you’ll make yourself a profile and go on at least one date. I could even help you set the profile up!”

Did I really want to do that? “Fine. One date, and that’s it. But if I end up getting murdered by a crazy person, that’s all on you.”

He laughed, throwing his phone on the armchair a few feet away from the couch. “You’ve been watching way too many crime shows, that stuff rarely happens in real life.”

And that was how we ended up sitting beside each other on the couch with a laptop in his lap, creating dating profiles for me on all the major websites. Except for Tinder. I refused to sign up for it, much to Tony’s dismay.

We spent the better part of the night filling out profiles. Tony would ask me questions, I would give answers, and he would type them up. I could already feel the annoyance settling in.

One date. I repeated that in my head until it became a mantra. One date, one guy, and then I would secretly delete all the dating apps from my phone and figure out how to deactivate the accounts. I could do this one thing if it meant Tony finding a girl he would actually enjoy spending time with.

“Should we try to get you some matches now?” Tony asked, looking up at me with a smirk. “I bet it’ll be a great date.”

“Can this wait until tomorrow? I doubt I’ll get that many matches anyway, what with my ridiculous profiles.”

Tony groaned, shutting the laptop in his lap before placing it on the coffee table. “Fine. You don’t have to put much effort in with some of these sites anyway. It will find matches for you.”

“Great,” I said, dragging out the word. “I can’t wait to meet someone I have no interest in. Thanks a lot, Tony.”

After that, we watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It was the remake with Jessica Biel, and Tony fell asleep before anyone even died. While he snored beside me as the credits rolled, I snuck a look at my phone, the tiniest part of me wondering if I would have any matches.

None. Zero. And although I knew none of the matches would interest me anyway, the knowledge that no one matched me bothered just a little more than I cared to admit.

#my writing #original writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #original story #DWTFIL

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stupidnephilimlove · 5 years

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Written for the @frightening-fall-fic . A few days late, but here’s my take on the week 1 prompt: bad decisions were made. Read here or on AO3 Summary: When Izzy stumbles upon an old ritual book in a used book store, she decides it's perfect for her Halloween party. It's supposed to be a little fun, but the book and the idea give Alec the creeps. But really, what could go wrong? -

Alec wonders how - despite wanting to do something epic every year - Isabelle manages to leave settling on a Halloween idea until the last minute.

"Just throw a fancy dress party," Alec suggests, only half paying attention as his eyes scan the bookshelf. This was supposed to be a solo outing, an afternoon of perusing the recently opened used book store, but Isabelle insisted she tag along.

Isabelle throws Alec a disgusted look in response to his suggestion. "That's so unoriginal, Alec. It has to be better than last year."

Alec's pretty sure they had this exact conversation around a year ago, but he figures mentioning that isn't going to help the situation. Instead, he pulls a book from the shelf and scans the blurb.

"So do a seance or something," Alec says.

Isabelle sighs at his lack of interest and pulls the book from his hand. She sets in back on the shelf and looks at him.

"We did that last year. And yes, it was awesome, even if I say so myself. But it needs to be something different."

Alec resists the urge to roll his eyes at her and moves deeper into the store. He spots the fake spiders and cobwebs covering a section in the corner.

"Maybe they've got something over there?" Alec gestures to the Halloween themed area as he speaks. He doubts it, but if it means he can look around the store in peace for a few minutes, then he's more than willing to suggest it.

Mumbling to herself that Alec's no use, Isabelle heads off in that direction and Alec goes back to his book search. He makes it ten blissful uninterrupted minutes before Isabelle comes bounding over, excitement in every step.

"I've got it! Alec, it's the perfect idea," Isabelle says.

Finally.

"Oh, yeah?"

Isabelle holds up an old, battered book. The binding is starting to come away, and the gold text on the cover has faded so much that Alec's unable to make out the words.

"A ritual," Isabelle says, offering Alec the book.

Alec takes it, and he's off-put by the way the leather feels in his hands. He flicks carefully through the pages, they're well-worn and in what Alec takes a guess at is Latin.

"I'm not sure, Izzy."

There's something about the book that has the hairs on Alec's arms rising.

"Oh come on... it'll be brilliant and fun. No one will expect it."

Alec's sceptical about the 'fun' part, but if Isabelle's got it in her head that this is what's happening, then Alec knows better than to argue with her. So when Isabelle insists she buy the book, Alec makes his first terrible decision by not talking her out of it.

Alec stands outside of the intricate chalk circle that Izzy had Clary draw on their floor. That better come off, or he's going to kill her, Alec thinks. There's music playing, something instrumental, and it's giving Alec this feeling of tension. The feelings only increased by the dozens of candles that flicker, shadows chasing each other around the room.

It's a small group tonight, just Clary, Isabelle, Simon, Jace and Alec. Five Izzy had said once she'd settled on the ritual - one for each point of the pentagram the circle surrounds.

"Are you sure about this?" Alec asks.

Jace gives him a companionable punch to the shoulder. "It's just a bit of fun. Don't tell me you're scared, Alec?"

"No... 'course not," Alec says. That's a lie, but he's not going to admit his unease to his brother. There's this feeling of wrong and stop and this is a terrible idea, and it's not like Alec at all. He doesn't believe in this stuff. He believes in what he can see, what he can understand, what he can explain, and Alec tries to shake off the feeling.

Isabelle instructs them to take their places at each point of the pentagram. She tells Alec his point represents fire and she gives him an unlit candle to hold. Clary's is air and she holds a feather, Simon's is earth and she gives him a jar of dirt, and Jace's is water and he grasps a cup half-filled.

"And I represent spirit," Isabelle tells them, taking her up her spot.

Then in a hushed tone, voice serious, Isabelle says, "Before we begin, I have to warn you all not to step into the circle until the ritual is complete."

"Why, what happens if we do?" Simon asks.

Izzy grits her teeth at the interruption, the charade falling for a moment. "Then I'm gonna kick your ass for ruining the evening, Simon. Trying to set the mood here."

Simon grins sheepishly and nods his head. "Oh, sorry. Go on."

Isabelle finds her character again, turning to pick up an intricate bowl. She sets it down by her feet just inside of the circle and then stands to full height again. Isabelle picks up the book, and the room falls silent.

God, why does the sight of that book give Alec chills?

Isabelle holds the worn book in one hand and gracefully lifts the other. Four sets of eyes are trained on her and Alec's heart feels like it's beating double time in his chest.

"Me invocare te in tenebris," Isabelle says. The words sound odd and mispronounced, but the tone of her voice has Alec holding back a shiver and clutching his candle.

Izzy throws her hand out, something falling from her fingers and into the bowl in front of her. Smoke rises from the bowl on contact and she continues speaking.

"Venire ad me."

Neat trick, Alec thinks.

Isabelle repeats the words again, voice louder. "Me invocare te in tenebris. Venire ad me."

The room feels cooler, noticeably so, and Jace shifts uncomfortably next to Alec. Alec's glad he's not the only one this is freaking out.

"Me invocare te in tenebris," Isabelle says. The pronunciation is better, at least to Alec's ears, and each word is filled with conviction.

"Venire-" Isabelle's voice cuts off mid-sentence and she doubles over, clutching her stomach and cries out, "No! Please."

Clary reaches out from beside Isabelle in concern, and despite himself, Alec steps forward. "Izzy?"

Isabelle raises her head, and there's a goddamn grin on her face, before she doubles over for an entirely different reason, laughter shaking her body.

"Oh, you should have seen your faces," she says between gulps of breath as the group grumbles.

"I knew she was playing," Alec hears Jace tell Simon, and Simon nods saying, "Yeah, sure. Me too."

Alec sighs in exasperation, and as he does, his candle flickers to life. Alec almost drops it in surprise.

"Nice one, Izzy. Quit it now." Alec says, trying to keep the shakiness from his voice. Her tricks are really beginning to get to him.

Isabelle's laughter dies out and she looks at the candle. "That wasn't me."

"I'm not falling for any more of your pranks," Alec says taking a step back to his previous position. His foot stops as if it's hit a wall, and Alec looks down. He's standing inside the circle.

"What is this?" he asks, eyes lifting to Isabelle's.

"Now who's playing pranks?" Jace says.

He tries to move again, panic rising in his chest, but he can't. He doesn't know how Isabelle's doing this, but it's not funny anymore.

"Alec, come on," Clary says and Alec can hear the annoyance in her voice.

The music abruptly stops playing and all at once the candles go out, plunging them into darkness. Except for the small flicker of light from the candle Alec's holding.

There's the smell of burning. Alec tells himself it's due to the candles all burning down to the wick at the same time. And the lack of music? It's probably on a timer. The whole thing some elaborate plan of Izzy's to scare them.

"Izzy, this is a bit much," Clary says in the dark.

"Seriously, this isn't me," Isabelle insists. "Who hijacked my evening?"

The group breaks out into bickering. But Alec doesn't move, a hand closes over his shoulder and there's breath at the nape of his neck and Alec's going to kill Isabelle as soon as the lights come back on.

"I hate the twenty-first century," a male voice, low and sultry, says close to Alec's ear.

The bickering instantly stops. Alec doesn't know that voice, and though the hand is gone from his shoulder, his blood runs cold. The candles suddenly flare back to life and Alec's not sure who screams. Jace? Simon? Possibly Alec himself. Because standing in the circle in front of Alec is a man - at least, he looks like a man. Of course, he's a man, Alec tells himself. A very well-dressed, well-styled, entirely too hot, man. Apart from the eyes.

The eyes are golden and catlike and... fucking brilliant contacts, that's all. Alec's feeling a little hysterical and takes a breath to calm himself.

"Mmm," the man says, tilting his head as he looks at Alec. "A worthy offering though."

"Jeez, Izzy. Where'd you find this guy?" Jace asks.

"Enough," the man says, voice deep and commanding, lifting a hand, and for a reason Alec cannot explain, silence falls. The man turns back to Alec. "You may call me Magnus."

Alec doesn't want to call him anything. Okay, there's a thread of desire that has Alec imagining another evening, in a completely different setting with this Magnus. But right now? Right here? Alec wants this whole nightmare to end. He considers that they must all be in on this, and he doesn't know how or when, but he's going to get them back.

"What do you request of me, in payment of your soul?"

"M-my soul?" Alec stutters. Magnus can't be serious, but Alec can't bring himself to look away from Magnus' eyes. He feels almost entranced by them.

"Yes. You summoned me. I answered the call. Now make your request known."

"What? Like getting that promotion my boss has been holding back?" Alec asks stupidly.

Magnus nods and steps closer. "Unimaginative as usual, but if you insist."

"What are you doing?" Alec asks, but he doesn't move away.

"To be binding, I must seal all business with a kiss." There's a suggestive raise to Magnus' eyebrow and Alec feels his cheeks flush.

Is this guy - in the middle of this prank - really flirting with Alec?

Oh, what the hell. Magnus is hot, and Alec's not giving the rest of them the satisfaction of him backing down. Bolstered, Alec closes the space between them.

Magnus reaches up, hand settling at Alec's neck, and heat spreads through Alec from that simple contact. Magnus pulls him closer, leaning in to take Alec's mouth with his. The kiss is like nothing Alec has ever felt before, and he opens his mouth, accepting Magnus. Alec feels it everywhere, feels a fire burning beneath his skin, and if he examined it closer, he might see that it isn't entirely caused by desire.

The candles burn brighter as they kiss, and as Magnus' lips leave Alec's they blink out again. Alec can hear someone scrambling for the lights and there's a whisper at Alec's ear in the last of the darkness. "I look forward to collecting you, Alexander."

Simon flicks the switch and the room is illuminated, but Magnus is nowhere to be seen.

"Can't believe you stole my Halloween prank," Izzy says, clearly annoyed, though Alec thinks they all look a little shaken.

"I didn't," Alec says. "Didn't you guys set me up?" Dread is creeping up on him again.

Izzy shoots him an unimpressed look. "Honestly, Alec. You didn't need to go to that much trouble for a make-out session."

"Yeah, dude. My eyes cannot unsee that," Jace says.

And the group comes to the conclusion that Alec was messing with them despite all of Alec's protests. He tells himself it's just part of their prank, just them trying to psych him out even more.

Though, as Alec heads to bed at three am, a flash of catlike eyes in the mirror, the phantom press of lips against his, and that heat still burning under his skin, a part of him wonders if he really did just sell his soul.

Shaking his head at his fanciful turn of thoughts, Alec crawls into bed. He doesn't believe in souls, so he can't have sold one, and Alec puts the whole thing down to too much sugar and alcohol.

However, when Alec's boss offers him a promotion the next week, Alec struggles to convince himself it's merely a coincidence.

#frightening fall fic fest #shadowhunters #shadowhunters fic #malec #sorta #oh look i wrote a thing #fic: venire ad me #week 1: bad decisions were made

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becuzpurple · 5 years

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Chapter 25, pt. 2 - Bailey’s & Ice Cream

(chapter 25, part 1 - Fragile)

My heart was pounding wildly, and I felt short of breath and nauseous. I definitely couldn’t drive yet. I took some deep, measured breaths until my breathing and heart rate regulated somewhat, but I was still sick to my stomach, and I couldn’t stop crying.

I wanted to go home, but the house was empty, and I knew being alone in my state was probably a bad idea. I needed a friend. Jen was working a late shift, but I knew Izzy was home, so I called her once I trusted my voice to work more or less properly.

“Hello?”

“Iz…?” My voice cracked on just that one tiny syllable.

“Kate? What’s wrong?”

“I…I just fucked up really bad with Ed.”

“Oh, shit, what happened?”

“It’s, um, a long story. Do you think....can you come over?”

“Of course! You’re at home?”

“Not yet, I’m in my car...at his hotel. But I’m going home now.”

“Well, wait, are you alright to drive? You sound really upset-“

“-No...yeah, I’m OK. It’s just a 5 minute ride.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave as soon as I’m off the phone. I’ll be fine.”

“OK, if you’re sure...I can be there in 15 minutes.”

“Thank-you, Iz.”

“Of course, sweetie, I’ll see you in a few. Be careful.”

“I will.”

—

I'd just finished changing into my comfy, oversized sweatshirt and flannel pants when Izzy arrived. As soon as I opened the door the tears came again, and she swallowed me up in a gigantic hug.

“Oh, honey.”

“Iz, it’s so bad. I fucked everything up.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. C’mon, and tell me everything.” She tilted her head towards the kitchen, and headed there as if she owned the place. I followed behind.

“Sit,” she directed me, indicating the breakfast bar stools.

I did as she shed her jacket and purse before tearing through my fridge and cabinets, pulling out various provisions. She soon set down bowls of ice cream and some tall glass tumblers of Bailey’s Irish Cream for each of us before finally sitting herself down across from me.

“OK, now I think we’re set, no?”

“You’re amazing, Iz.”

“Nah, I’m just a little bossy. And hungry. You always have the best snacks, anyway,” she shrugged. “And it’s good comfort food. But, anyway...what happened, honey?”

Before I could begin telling her anything, my text notifications started going off. I knew it was him, but instead of checking it I just stared at my phone on the counter in front of me, much like a deer in headlights.

“You gonna look at that?”

“I can’t,” I said, shaking my head. “Not yet.”

“OK.”

So, amidst gorging myself on ice cream and Bailey’s, I told Izzy how I let my stupid head and its stupid fears and anxieties run amok, and how I said things to Ed that I didn’t even mean.

“I know you love him.”

“So. Much.”

“You want to stay together, right?”

I nodded. No question. “If he’ll still have me after...this.”

“Honey, you guys had a fight. It happens. You’ll work it out.”

“Yeah, it’s just there are so many things to work out. It’s...overwhelming, sometimes.”

“Like what?”

“Well, like, we live in different countries. My family, my life...are here. He has very solid roots there. And there’s his career...I don’t know how to do any of this.”

Izzy nodded. “I get what you’re saying, but...these seem like things the two of you can work out together, no? You could maybe split your time? Part-time here and part-time there? It would definitely take some compromise, but I don’t think it’s insurmountable?”

I shrugged. She made it sound quite reasonable. “Yeah, I guess maybe.”

“You both have a lot to talk about.” She paused and gave me a thoughtful glance. “I do have a question, though. You said he was talking about family? ‘Wanting to be a part of your family’, you said?”

"Yep,” I took a healthy slug of my Bailey’s, mentally bracing myself. Which is ridiculous, since it was Izzy I was talking with, and not even Ed.

“Like, what did he mean by that? Does he...is he talking about getting married?”

Good question.

“I don’t know...he didn’t use those words. But he said when he imagines the future, it…he sees us all together as a family - he and I, and Nate and Lucy…and…”

“And...?”

“Yeah. And...our kids.”

Izzy’s big brown, almond-shaped eyes grew wider at that. “Your... you mean, like, yours and his?”

“Yeah, pretty sure.”

“Holy shit?”

“I know!”

“That’s...is that something you guys have already talked about, then? Having kids?”

“No,” I shook my head. “We haven’t really talked about the future at all. God, this is nuts, isn’t it?” I pressed my fingertips to my temples, but then decided some more alcohol might do me better, and took a generous gulp of my drink.

“OK, so, what do you think about this? I mean...you haven’t really known each other that long.”

“I know, but…it feels like we’ve known each other forever...it was like we already knew each other when we met. This is hard to explain, but the idea of us being a family? Isn’t exactly what’s freaking me out - at least not that much. And I know that sounds crazy, but, I don’t know…” I shrugged. “It’s the ‘having more kids’ part…that…that’s where my anxiety kicks in, I think.”

“You don’t want any more?”

“No, actually I do - I’d...I would love that.”

She looked a little shocked. I couldn’t blame her - I knew how it sounded.

“Wow. That’s…that’s amazing! Really?”

I felt my face flushing. “Yeah,” I shrugged, and fleetingly wondered if some more cold ice cream might stop my cheeks from pinkening any further.

"OK, so then if you think you’re both on the same page about that, then what’s worrying you?”

“Right.” I exhaled, lowering my gaze to my half-filled glass of Irish cream, and then I poured it over the rest of my mint chocolate chip ice cream. Because this particular topic was an old wound, and it still made me feel pretty bad. At least I loved Bailey’s on my ice cream. But it didn’t really help.

“What is is, Kate?”

“I, um...I’ve never really talked about this with anyone besides Jay.” I shrugged and sighed a humorless laugh - I was so anxious about this. “So, I don’t think…well, I don’t know...if I can have any more kids. We tried to have more for years…and, well, I had a few miscarriages, but…” I slowly shook my head, finally raising my eyes up to meet hers.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I had no idea?”

“Yeah, we didn’t really talk about it with anyone.”

“So...you’re worried about how Ed will take that?”

“Yeah. He really wants kids...if anyone was born to be a dad, it’s him, right? I...I’d just really hate to put him in a situation where he couldn’t do that. And what if he becomes resentful over it, or leaves me? I couldn’t...I wouldn’t handle that well. And I’m not getting any younger, either…so, I might be out of time to get this figured out.”

“Whoa, OK. First of all...what are you talking about ‘out of time’? Hello, you’re in your 30’s, and you’re healthy. And second...are you seriously pushing him away because he maybe might want to marry you, but you’re worried he’ll change his mind because you might not be able to have any more kids...but you don’t know that for sure? And he doesn’t even know any of this, does he?”

“Well…no? But I…um, I did tell him he’d probably be better off with someone else who’s younger.”

“You did not?! Katie, what?? Why?”

“I don’t know?! It seemed to make sense at the time?”

“That…that’s kind of really unfair to him. He has no idea where that was coming from, does he? You have to talk to him, tell him everything, and then the two of you need to figure this out together - you can’t decide for him. And for what it’s worth, I can’t imagine him hinging your entire relationship on a...a non-existent child, anyway.”

My text notifications started pinging again just then, and I finally caved and picked up my phone. And then I felt even worse.

I looked up at Izzy to find her watching me curiously.

“He’s worried about me…and I’ve been ignoring him. God, why am I so horrible??”

“No, you’re not horrible, you just need some time to work out a few things.”

“I should answer him…”

She shrugged and nodded, agreeing.

A few minutes later I took a breath and looked up at Izzy, wide-eyed and feeling a nervous wreck all over again.

“He’s coming over.”

“That’s good.”

“I’m...ughh, I’m a disaster, Iz. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m acting like a crazy person, pushing him away when I really want to do the exact opposite. I’m...overwhelmed.”

“That’s completely fair, honey. Just remember that he loves you and wants you to be happy. But you have to be totally honest with him about everything, ok?”

“OK.” I rubbed my temples, still so uncertain. “He’s flying back home tomorrow.”

“Ohhhh, shit. Well, then it’s good you guys are going to talk now.” She stood. “I will get out of your hair before he gets here.”

I walked with her to the door and thanked her for coming over.

“That’s what friends do, Katie. It’s going to be ok.”

We hugged, and I promised to call her the next day to let her know how I’m doing...how we’re doing. I really hoped I’d have some good news to give her.

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Sorry there’s no Ed in this one - I promise he’s all over part 3, though (which is about 2/3 done)!

I’d love to know your thoughts on this, and to know that it’s at least being read, so hit those like and reblog buttons, and send me those Asks! Feedback is love!

-BP💜

#becausepurple #becuzpurple #ed sheeran #ed sheeran fic #ed sheeran fan fic #ed sheeran mature fanfic #ed sheeran fanfiction #celebrity fanfic #Ed & Kate #Ed & Kate love story #multi-chaptered fic #ch 25 pt 2 #Bailey's & Ice Cream #it's the bomb you must try it!#Bailey's poured over Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream #it's heavenly #now you know what Kate's been worried about #anxiety sucks #Feedback is love!

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ralfstrashcan · 5 years

Text

3x15 Reaction / Commentary

........who died and made her queen? Literally no one finds it weird that the newby from a day ago holds announcements and motivational speeches? And I thought vampires don't like swift changes. Guess that was racist of me.

..................?? Literally who has ever denied the vampires entry? Except maybe the shadowhunters to their Institute and the werewolves to their home-restaurant? So she's basically saying “If anyone doesn't want us in their private homes we'll break and enter!” How is no one calling her out on how stupid that is??

hahaha how long did she work on that line?

........? Why? Because up until this point I was under the impression that the Accords where strictly restricted to governing the border between shadow world and mundanes, keeping them separate and protecting mundanes from demon and downworlder attacks alike.

If you care to remember, the whole mess with helping-save-Luke / not-helping-save-Luke in season 1 happens because Alec says shadowhunters aren't allowed to interfere in downworlder affairs, hence saving Luke would be seen as shadowhunters meddling in downworlder business which isn't a thing shadowhunters are allowed to do. It's why him going to lend Magnus his magic to save Luke was a Big Deal for him, because it was basically breaking the rules. It's why he was so against Jace and Clary helping Luke in the first place, because interfering is – at least the way I understood that! – a breach of the Accords, which grant downworlders the right to govern themselves.

In basically all other situations where there are conflicts between downworlders we don't see shadowhunters interfere: Luke beating Taito-or-however-he-was-called into submission, Camille being put into a coffin in the DuMort's cellar indefinitely for reasons. I'd even let myself be convinced that these might be exceptions, since those are ritualized thingies where downworlders decide who gets to rule, and so the shadowhunters aren't allowed to interfere even if their respective election systems consist of battle to the death / whoever wants to revolt revolts.

But how do you then explain all the other instances: Simon getting that Glen werewolf guy into a wheelchair and never facing any consequences except Luke scolding him a little, Simon fighting to the death with Quinn which never gets investigated, and don't even get me started on the seelie queen because she does shit however she wants to whoever she wants, kidnapping random werewolves and holding them hostage, putting marks of cains on unsuspecting daylighters, openly siding with Valentine, etc. and no shadowhunter ever cares about any of this! Not to mention that when Jace first encounters Jordan, he clearly recognizes his authority as Praetor and withdraws, indicating that the Praetor are an established and known organisation who deal with downworder affairs, and shadowhunters have to steer clear of them. Even Kaelie who murdered shadowhunters wasn't sentenced by shadowhunters! She was transfered back to the seelie court after she was captured and the seelie queen dealt with her as she saw fit. To me that simply fortifies that shadowhunters don't govern downworlder-downworlder-relations. If they don't even govern downworlder-shadowhunter-relations.

Besides, if shadowhunters really were supposed to police downworlder-downworlder-relations then please explain to me why the hell it's always treated like an invasion and an insolence if a downworlder dares to come close to the Institute? I mean, shouldn't there be a contact point for them to get in touch with their executive forces? Wtf??

So I guess this is just a random curveball the show throws my way to make this episode's plot work. And really, this is bullshit. I can't accept this. It's one thing to bend and twist portal travel and magic because, whatever, it's magic. But to just 100% turn around their entire frikkin legal system is not something you can just do! No!!

He 100% nicked that horse statue thingy from Magnus's loft to make him feel more at home in his room.

Also, I get that this is a cute parallel with the orange juice, but I also get that this is the show again depriving me of seeing Magnus and Alec actually waking up in bed together and it's NOT OKAY. I just want to finally see Alec “Little Spoon” Lightwood in action, is that too much to ask? Apparently -.-

Also, I have questions. If Alec is just putting on his day clothes.... did he go fetch Magnus's orange juice bare-chested? In his pyjama??? Does he have one with little bows and arrows? I need answers!!!

Rude hahaha, as if living with Magnus was a strenuous, orange-juice-less experience. Kidding, I know he's trying to make living at the Institute palatable to Magnus, quite literally.

I know I wasn't the only one who had severe Pirates of the Caribbean flashbacks at that because after the sneak peek aired I saw a gifset pointing out the parallel XD

Also

MAGNUS'S FACE Btw I think it's sweet that Alec spouts reassurances none of them buys just to make Magnus feel comfortable. Just like it's sweet that he brings Magnus a glass of orange juice that they both proceed to ignore, and to add insult to injury, Magnus gets himself a new one later. Rude.

Okay, so the runes we see here are the nourishment rune (blue), the sharing rune (green) and of course the stamina rune (yellow).... so shadowhunters know to eat real hard. And also... those two tiny tables are supposed to be enough to sustain all those people? With only drinks? Is this some perfidious game where shadowhunters just get drinks and need to feed themselves with nourishment runes? Barbaric.

Yeah I'm in the mood for pancakes now, too, thanks.

I'd like to repeat my question from last episode: If Sentry Guy wasn't planning for his untimely demise, how the hell did he want to hand over that data chip?

Okay but do you realize how amazing and hilarious that is? Because Izzy just came from the serving counter. If she wanted bacon she could have gotten some. But she didn't. To me this looks like routinely stolen food, maybe even just because it's on Jace's plate. This is something that happens regularly and I love it. Need more sibling-y Jace&Izzy interactions honestly!

Also? Izzy missing the piece of bacon on the first try hahaha <3<3<3

Can we please take a moment to appreciate Magnus's absolutely disgusted face and the fact that he carrys that tray with minimal finger contact? Hilarious.

1) I too was wondering why they didn't just go out for breakfast to avoid this situation, so I'm glad they mention that this option has crossed the protagonists' minds as well. 2) Why do they already have beverages on their trays when the refreshment tables with the glasses are off to the side? Possibly so they don't have to run around stupidly?

!!!!!!!!!What other food events are there??????? I need to know okay!!! Also, I think we can all agree that Alec isn't in it for the pancakes but to Prove A Point.

Also, quick question: Who the hell mans the serving counter, who cooks, who cleans the dishes, who buys groceries, who--- etc.

You know what I was just wondering? This is a new outfit, right? Has he moved all of his clothes to Alec's room? Or are they still in this apartment? What's Lorenzo gonna do with all that stuff? And also, do they really expect me to believe Magnus only had this one apartment and literally no other home anywhere? He couldn't have rune!portaled literally anywhere else? He couldn't have stayed with the ever elusive Catarina? Or crashed on Luke's couch since he's not currently using his apartment, being in jail and all? (Though to be fair, we never actually see Luke's apartment so who knows if it even exists? Since they kind of pretend that all werewolves live at the Jade Wolf.) Magnus couldn't have gotten a hotel? I mean he has cash, right? But sure. I'm totally buying that this was the absolutely only option he had.

Izzy is the best and I love her.

So is he supposed to step in as racist, now that Raj is gone? Cuz that'd be unrealistic. I'd buy it if he's miffed that Alec didn't tell him about this, since he's Head of Security and all and could have helped but istg if he reacts badly to Magnus being there I'm gonna flip my shit because Underhill totally ships Malec, okay, why would he react badly?? I'm anxious okay.

“They don't see a lot of warlocks in here.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG the sass!!!!!

I noticed this in the sneak peek already and honestly, I think the shadowhunters are just angry Magnus is there because he gets to eat fancier stuff than they. I mean, look at him! He even changed the shape of the glass because he's so extra. Love him.

Hahahaha who doesn't want to get a call from jail over breakfast from their father figure. Also I feel like those roles should be reversed XD

I mean, I get it. But thanks, Luke, for not relaying the crucial detail that this was Heidi or at least that Maia is still alive and to contact her for further info since he's in jail, and thus enabling everything that follows. It's not like he told Simon and Maia to drive off with Jordan because he'd handle filling in the Institute on all that happened. Honestly. He's like that one guy in group projects who says he'd do something and then just.. doesn't.

..............................................why Look I don't have the energy to rage about this but wtf Luke. If you think anyone would buy all those fang marks being caused by one person alone, then why not try to get the actual culprit to be imprisoned? Or at least, idk, investigated after to gain some time? Honestly. It's like he wants to go to jail.

Hahahaha okay this is too good an opportunity to pass up, so please go read the dumb drabble I wrote about this exact situation shortly after 3A aired. It's here.

Btw I wanna see that verdict. Because Luke's prints sure as hell aren't on the corpses, and keep in mind any forensic worth a damn should be able to notice that those people died half a day before Luke was found on the site of the crime. Not to mention that since Luke frequented the Jade Wolf it's not exactly surprising he'd want to check up on all his homies there. Not to mention he has zero motive (since his fallout with the pack is so recent nobody not involved would have noticed). And not to mention that he wouldn't even have had time to kill all those people in the 3 minutes after he arrived at the Jade Wolf and before his surveillance team caught up to him. Just, sigh.

Edit: Wow actually they're gonna find his prints all over the corpses because Luke, in his unending wisdom, touched them all to close their eyes. It's like he learned nothing in How To Not Get Imprisoned For Crimes You Didn't Commit 101.

Great Scene. Very relatable.

Though I gotta say I never got the feeling Maia particularly liked any of her packmates since we always only saw them hating on her for dating a vampire and being general idiots, but I'm gonna ignore that right now. It's easily arguable that their happy pack life together wasn't shown because it wasn't relevant to the plot.

And also.... how did they find the Praetor? Isn't their location top secret? How should I imagine that? Was Jordan lying in the backseat half dead, shouting instructions “Turn left now!! No, not your left, my left! Turn right dammit!!” Wtf.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU IZZY FFS. *sigh* Okayyyyy technically Clary killed him, but Izzy didn't react with all the indignated outrage she displays now and I vividly remember this and I already ranted about this at length after 3x04 aired. I'm so done with her attitude on this.

Since when does Alec accept the “I wasn't in control” excuse? Either you were in control, then you go to jail. Or you weren't, then you go in a holding cell because you're an unpredictable danger. In no scenario do you get a free pass. Wtf.

??????????? You get talked into crossing against a red light, not into a frikkin sadistic hostage-taking, what the actual hell???? Why does Alec buy that???? Is he stupid????

...................................wtf Alec I hoped you'd do better this episode, but apparently not?? I mean, not investigating anything, just taking random person at her word, not even taking the time to talk with Izzy – even worse, showing in front of a third party that he didn't know about the Raphael* thing – and finally, basically him making that offer half-felt like he was trying to get back at Izzy for her keeping secrets from him? Wtf Alec? Wtf? And also, since the only werewolves left are Luke (currently in jail), Maia (currently missing in action) and Bat (currently at home like the neat little werewolf armcandy that he is) it's really not like Alec is under time pressure to get the vampires who killed all the werewolves behind bars. What's gonna happen if he takes a few hours to investigate properly? There is literally no risk of a war breaking out between werewolves and vampires since there are basically no werewolves left. Wtf Alec, I just robbed you of your already super flimsy excuse for your behavior, so please. Explain yourself. It's as if he wants to make up for last week's inaction by making super swift decisions. Wtf. If this is not Plot Convenience then I don't know what is.

*I guess Alec stopped holding those weekly downworld cabinet meetings or otherwise he would have noticed that Raphael is missing...... LOL or else maybe they want to tell us less than a week passed since 3x04 which, honestly, I WOULDN'T EVEN BE SURPRISED OKAY

Luke and Clary and Jace are so frikkin stupid. I mean, it's not like they were in this exact same situation in this exact same precinct in season 1 and remembered to turn of the frikkin security cams are you kidding me wtf

Self-fulfilling prophecy, Luke. Well frikkin done. I don't even feel sorry for you.

Actually they kicked you out because they new you didn't prioritize them, but sure. Survivor's guilt. I get it.

Anyway now that Luke is caught on tape talking to non-existent people about werewolves and vampires I guess he'll go to the psych ward instead of the jail, so yay for improvement?

Quick question.... after the cut, to they just awkwardly stand around until someone opens the door again so Jace and Clary can slip out?

WTF Underhill don't make me hate you.

Izzy: “Raphael is not a bad person. He just made a horrible mistake.” Alec: “He commited a gross violation of the Accords.” Izzy: “He's trying to turn his life around.” Alec: “It doesn't change what he did.”

And yet.............. Alec pardoned Heidi....................... and yet..................................... Izzy hates on Jordan........................................... It's like no one on this show is able to assess situations consistently while disregarding personal relations to the people involved. Really. I don't even really expect it from Izzy because she's too passionate for that. But I sure as hell expected better from Alec. Smh.

................................................................. What. What even. Because doing things by herself worked out so well last time. Because Alec totally acts like his trust in her judgement wasn't shaken by this revelation. Wtf Alec, why do you agree to this. It makes no sense.

?????????? this is not the Aline from 2x15

and that bothers me because 1) why recast her wtf and 2) I think 2x15 Aline looked more approachable and warm and yeah wtf why recast her. So from now on I'm calling this imposter “Aline”. I'm serious. Watch me.

Plot Twist: In German they are dubbed by the same dubbing actress.

Edit: Apparently they recast here because 2x15 Aline wasn't available due to scheduling conflicts which, okay, valid. But I'm still calling the imposter “Aline”. I've commited to it already, okay??

Alec, your arguemnt is still invalid because the only werewolf ready to wage war is standing right in front of you and you said yourself you thought she was dead. Wtf man.

YEAH ALEC AND FOR THAT REASON YOU WAIT BEFORE YOU STRIKE A DEAL WITH SUSPECTS WTF MAN YOU OVERTHINK EVERYTHING BUT IN THIS YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO WAIT THREE FRIKKIN MINUTES ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME-- I'm exasperated, in case you can't tell. Mainly because Alec assuming Maia is dead makes no sense whatsoever. She wasn't among the dead, so why would he assume she's dead instead of escaped? Why didn't he try to track her? Why didn't he try to call her himself? Why didn't they call ahead?!* So many questions, all answered with two words: Plot Convenience.

*Oh right, because they trusted Luke to tell the Institute everything. But my point still stands. This miscommunication is ridiculous.

Also, can we talk about the pacing? In the time Simon needs to drive his and Maia's ass over to the Institute, Heidi walks in, Alec draws up an amnesty and organizes a mission, they go to the DuMort, secure all the vamps, and bring them back into the Institute. Just how slow was Simon driving? Makes no sense. Wtf.

Uh-huh. Sure, Head of Security, why would you need to know that. Also, who made those keys? Are they lying around somewhere in a spare drawer? So many questions.

Good save, man. I can accept that. Seems he's trying to do his job. But still. The way he half-whispered insolently during that mission briefing strikes me as really not fitting his character. He calls Alec “Sir” dammit. As if he'd stoop to such cheap bitchy behavior, especially when it stands to reason that the shadowhunter he was whispering to doesn't respect Alec like Underhill does because, y'know, gay and dating a downworlder and the general tendency of shadowhunters to be biased and racist.

LOL I guess the first thing I can really appreciate about this episode is that they make an effort to bring back stuff from the past season???

Aha. Looks like someone felt the need to change.

Clary: “He somehow got it in that twisted head of his that I'm gonna help him find it.”

........did I miss that part? Because I sure don't recall it.

Well, Simon, then I hope you have a degree in psychology and don't ask any leading questions that make her useless as a witness. Also, be sure to carry your plan out while Alec isn't present so your story will be more credible and Alec won't think you encanto-ed her so she says what you need her to say to get Heidi behind bars. Since, you know, you and Maia are totally neutral when it comes to this investigation. It's always a great idea to conduct investigations yourself when you're completely unbiased and absolutely not involved in any way, with no personal stakes in the matter. SIGH.

This.... was actually unexpected. See, this is why I like Heidi as a villain. She is smart and she knows how to cover her tracks. And that whole plan to stir up werewolves and vampires against each other was expertedly executed (even if her defense in front of Izzy and Alec was a little weak and Griffin could have acted a little less stupid).

Hahahahaha Magnus. Tbh though, Alec knew Underhill would be in charge of setting Magnus up with a key, and the long amount he thought about what the hell Magnus meant makes me think he doesn't really think handsome = Underhill. Surely not after that haircut amiright ok sorry sorry I'm shutting up. Underhill is a handsome guy.

Ugh. Okay, honestly I don't want to do this. I want to say this was a cute scene and move on. But I just can't move past Alec's apology. Why the hell does he apologise? He did nothing wrong? It's his typical my-opinion-doesn't-count,-whatever-the-person-I-love-says-must-be-right-and-I-am-wrong spiel and I hate it. It would have been something else entirely if he'd said “I didn't know this bothered you so much, I won't do that again in the future if it's a problem to you.” Finding a compromise while recognizing that talking about his issues is his right, since Magnus didn't ask him to keep quiet about it. No matter how good he knows Underhill – and I agree with Magnus on that one, it was strange for Alec to talk about his problems with someone he barely knows, but at the time it was, oh surprise, Plot Convienience to bait some cheating angst – it was his right and with his apology

he basically asserts that it wasn't. Because of some misguided jealousy from Magnus. Magnus should protest this immediately but he doesn’t, he just lets it sit there and just..... argh!

Also another thing, since I saw some people getting worked up over it: Yes, I read the scene earlier in the way that Alec didn't realize Magnus was talking about Underhill because he finds him so super hot, but because context reasons. Still, even if he did find Underhill attractive... that's not a problem? It's part of interacting with someone and looking at their face while talking to them and by the way realizing “Wow, this person isn't fugly.” If he spent all his days oogling Underhill that would be something else entirely, but he obviously doesn't. So, even if his conclusion was “Handsome? Must be Underhill!” that wouldn't make him a bad person. We all know he only has eyes for Magnus.

*sigh* I'm a weak woman, okay, this placates me a little.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I C A N ' T The fact that he thinks he needs to clarify!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazing.

I have so many questions. If she wakes up, will she hold her breath again? I honestly expected her to be dead after Heidi's order, but apparently encanto only takes hold of the person's actions while they are conscious. So this leads me to the question why the f Nora is in a coma instead of simply unconscious, since if your brain doesn't get oxygen you slip into unconsciousness, not coma wtf.

...............by? The shadowhunters on washing machine handling duty?? So many questions.

.........or just do it right away. Why wait?

!!!!!!!!!YES at least someone has common sense left this episode. It physically pains me that this person is Jonathan. Wtf, show.

1) Soooooo why is his magic suddenly blue again? Though it's slightly tinted so I guess one could argue that this is Magnus trying to cover up the ugly Lorenzo-color. 2) Did the nurse really let them all in? Are they using glamors? I need answers. 3) Won't this place be swarming with doctors as soon as she wakes up?

“This is Maia. If you're hearing this, it's because my phone's battery sucks.”

Hahaha, I approve.

Lol this is the other reason I like Heidi as a villain, she's cheeky.

That.......... WAS UNEXPECTED OH MY GOD WOOOW I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!!! Color me impressed!!! And from Maia no less, who's always throw fists first, think straight later!!!

But..... while we saw where she got that syringe from I can't help but wonder where the hell she got that Holy Water from? Also how the hell did Simon, Magnus and Alec know in which back alley exactly she was hiding?? Guess we'll never know.

Soooooo whenever she stares into the flames she gets a Jonathan-possession-episode???? Okay??????? Why?????????????????? But anyway, the solution to their predicament seems clear: Just keep her away from fire. Then again they're shadowhunters, so compulsively lighting candles is a thing, so I see where this might get difficult.

You know, this scene would probabley even touch me emotionally if I wasn't busy muttering wtf under my breath because I'm still not over how they completely screwed over the Accords. With the way things were back in 3x04 what Izzy did in banishing Raphael was nothing more than an exceedance of competence. (Yes, Raphael deserves punishment for what he did, but not. from. Izzy.) And now suddenly it's a law-breaking act of compassion? Wtf, no, doesn't compute.

Also, as Bohemian pointed out: why the hell is Raphael's Dramatic Pre Jail Scene with Izzy instead of, idk, Magnus who's like a father to him and also at the Institute in this very moment?? Why do those two don't get any screen-time together when their relationship is more profound than, sorry, anything between Izzy and Raphael?? Tbh reducing Raphael to a pining mess who's only thinking about Izzy makes him feel real two-dimensional to me and he deserves wayyy better than that.

...................you know what? No!! Too late!! I've mentioned it in a past reaction post (from 3A I think) that I would have loved for this to be the reason they break up: Maia's okay-ness with ending a conflict through violence and Simon's relative patriotism. And even though this scene was everything I hoped for in this regard it still leaves a stale taste in my mouth because it's come too frakkin late. They are already broken up and their break up scene wasn't up to par. And why wasn't this their break up scene? Because if they'd been together up until now we couldn't have gotten the Jordan/Maia cuddling. Ugh.

Also this

would have certainly packed more of a punch if it came from someone who was consistently opinionated that way and wasn't randomly stricken by “I don't give a damn who gets injured, I have a gig to get to” moods (and yeah, I'm still not forgiving that, Simon).

Ohhhh no Magnus, stay away from that carpet, bad things will happen here, didn't you see the sneak peek????

WOW I am impressed, this is more than I expected so I'm really happy about this, especially since we all know how Magnus “It's all in the past” Bane normally deals with conflicts. You can see how much it costs him to get over himself and say this, and I love it. (What I don’t love is that Alec immediately glosses over this and barely even registers it but, whatever, that’s not Magnus's fault. He did what he should have done, and I’m happy about it.)

“Having an outsider live at the Institute, that is against protocol. And how can I expect everyone else to follow the rules if I don't follow them myself?”

I mean, I don't really think Maia would have refrained from her little murder plot if Magnus had spend the night at a hotel instead of in Alec's bed, but I recognize Alec at least attempting to be true to his rule-abiding, authority-acknowledging character for five seconds. So I'm somewhat semi-..... uh, quarter-proud of him.

Awwwww and Underhill just worked the whole day to get him settled in, the poor guy.

AGAIN WOW you can see how much courage it costs him to ask this after last half-season's moving-in-talk went so smoothly!!! I love it!!!

I LOVE IT!!!

I HATE IT!!! Yeah wow, I really hate it. Why can't they be happy for two seconds istg!!!!!

Btw I'm ordering you to read Matt's live tweets because they are therapeutic, okay.

(Bacon Gif Source)

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foreverbeingthunderbuddy · 6 years

Note

heyy can you maybe do a drabble with Cop!Bucky or FBI!Bucky where he invades reader's house cause she's a suspect and he searches her for weapons even though that should be done by a female agent but he says there aren't any present and reader kinda enjoys it and at the end a female one walks in and she finds out Bucky lied. cocky Bucky basically, hope this makes sense xoxo

I wasworking on prove myself but got stuck at a certain point and decided to do alittle request to fight writer’s block. This is short. 1,2 k :) // Masterlist

One momentthere is just you and your best friend standing in her living room, talkingabout a text message she received from her trashy ex-boyfriend. The next momentthere are loud noises, shattering glass, heavy footsteps around you and loudvoices shouting from everywhere, ordering to put your hands in the air.

You andyour friend both scream out at the sudden intrusion and wince, both too shockedto move a muscle. You see half a dozen men in black uniform (includinghelmets!) standing in a vague circle around you. All of them have big gunsaimed at you and they don’t look like they will give you a special treatmentjust because you’re women.

“I’ll sayit one last time, put your hands up in the air where I can see them!” A deepdominant voice barks and you turn your head to see a man with dark brown, chin-lengthhair tugged under a hat standing approximately five feet away from you. Hisice-blue eyes don’t give anything away other than annoyance, the intensitymaking you incredibly insecure almost instantly. Admittedly, his good looksplay a part in that as well.

He wears awhite sweater, sleeves up to the elbows, under a black bulletproof vest. Heseems to be their boss, judging from his different attire and the fact that themen all seem to be waiting for orders.

From thecorner of your eye, you see your friend slowly raise her hands over her head,not being able to hide the trembling.

“Miss, putyour hands where I can see them” The man repeats, getting moreand more impatient as the seconds pass by. What the fuck is happening?? Why arethere strange men in your friend’s living room and look like they’re about toshoot you?

“What ishappening- listen, I think you have us confus- see! I can show you my ID” Yousay, your voice shaking a little – shit – and you reach inside the handbag thatis hanging around your shoulder and dangling next to your waist. That isobviously a mistake. You haven’t even put your entire hand in when the wholeroom shifts and you hear alarming clicking and an angry “LET GO OF THE BAG ORWE’LL SHOOT! Put your hands up, Miss, put bothof your hands up, SLOWLY, and let go of the fucking bag!”

You look upand see that now even the beautiful special agent (or whatever, you have neverwatched CSI) has a gun aimed at you, his face serious but his pretty eyes looklike they’re processing something. He’s probably trying to estimate whether youwould pull out a gun yourself and shoot at them.

Slowly, scared,you raise your hands over your head and that’s when all men in the room relaxvisibly and Beautiful Hat Guy steps forward and points at the wall behind you.

“Hands onthe wall, we’re gonna search you” He orders and grabs your upper arm to pull youaround. You’re too perplex to fight and simply follow his lead. You lay bothhands against the wall, eyes on the stylish flower wallpaper and wait. You don’tknow much about police work but you’ve been at the airport before, so you know theywill have to bring in a woman to frisk you.

Suddenly,there are hands on your waist and you throw a glance over your shoulder and aremet with the bluest eyes you have ever seen looking down at you, only inchesaway from your face. He has a perfect poker face on, if you ignore the cocky hintat the right corner of his lips. Maybe you should stop staring at his mouth.

He allowsyour drooling for about three seconds and then suddenly opens those god-givenlips and says “Miss. Face to the wall. Can you please follow my orders withoutresistance for a change?”

As if yourbody just waited for a chance to be embarrassed, you feel heat crawl up yourneck almost immediately and quickly turn away to obey. The fact that his handsstart coming around your midriff and roam over your front pockets makeseverything way worse.

“I alwaysthought male officers aren’t allowed to search women” You mumble and try toignore his hands already brushing down to your thigh. At least he’s quick anddoesn’t take his time like some scumbags would.

“This is aserious case and there are more important things than bringing female agentsevery time there’s a chance that there could be women present just so our mainsuspects feel comfortable” Beautiful Hat Guy says and checks your calf beforehe changes to the other leg. You dare a look to the side to where your friendis standing, hands against the wall, a dude in heavy equipment quickly searchingher. She looks terrified. Unlike you.

God, youwish you didn’t find this entire situation hot but here you are, biting yourlip and trying your best not to look like you’re enjoying this. Your friend wasright, it’s really been too long since you’ve gotten laid. Caught up in yourHot Guy Touches Me fog, you don’t even pick up his words “main suspects”. Maybethat would be a good thing to ask questions about.

You feelhim stand up and his hands go to your ass - um excuse you, your back pockets (are you imagining thingsor did he take a second longer than needed there?) and brush over your lower back(of course you deny the goosebumps that emerge immediately), checking your beltand then making their way up to your ribs. Without hesitation he reaches aroundyou and his hands come to rest right underneath the wire of your bra.

He’s notgonna … or is he?

He waits asecond, seemingly debating, makes the right decision and leaves out your chest (their loss, afemale agent would have been able to go there and you could have hidden allkinds of dangerous weapons) and instead focuses on your arms underneath yourjacket. You would have loved to see his face after that “Should I or should Inot?”-debate but you keep staring at the wall.

He finisheshis search and his hands leave your body immediately. No, I’m not feeling disappointed, stupid body.

You usethat to step away from the wall and turn around. He’s still close and his eyesare so piercing that you want to look away but he has lost the hardness in hisfeatures and all that’s left is a thoughtful expression. Maybe mixed with thebeginning of another cocky smile.

The thingis, had he given you the option not to get searched by him … as bad as itsounds, you would have still agreed to it. Now what does that say about you?

“She’sclean” He shares with his colleague who nods, replies “She’s too” and thenreaches behind him to reveal a pair of handcuffs. Handcuffs. Shit!

Your eyescut back to Agent Bossy and you see the cuffs already dangling from his hand. Hegives you an arrogant smile and tilts his head.

“You knowwhere this is going. Hands please.”

Right asyou want to open your mouth to ask what the fuck is going on, two women in uniformenter the room, look around, spot Beautiful Hat Guy and walk over to you.

“AgentBarnes. We can search the suspects now” One of them says and looks you up anddown.

Your headswings around to Agent Barnes, indignation and stupid excitement at the revelation he lied to search you (can’t lie) filling you. He doesn’t even looksorry.

****

ForeverTags: @izzy-the-teawitch @wowpeterparker @brightcolorsoffendme @strangequakson @rosegoldquintis @thirdwheelchurchill @hazel-eyed-bi @goldenkillmonger @yourwonderbelle @hawaiiantozier @irondadandspidersoncute @thirtiethnovember @fancyfangirl-style @appalo0 @lionheo04 @vivideley @mae-shower @jitterbuck @bookgirlunicorn @stanningissohard

BuckyBarnes Tags: @ria132love @cauraphernelia

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angellightwood-bane-blog · 5 years

Text

What Lurks In The Dark // Alec Lightwood X OC

Disclaimer - Chapter One - Two - Three

Chapter Four - Daughters of Valentine

"Has she woken up yet?" I heard a panicked voice. My ears were ringing.

"No, I told you, I would tell you as soon as she did," another voice responded. I heard a frustrated sigh and footsteps getting further away. I could hear, but I couldn't see. I couldn't move either and started to panic. My body felt trapped, like I was in some sort of cage. After what felt like a lifetime but could only have been a few minutes, I managed to open my eyes, and instantly, the invisible bounds that seemed to be restricting me before, melted away. Everything was blurry, and it took a moment to focus. I could see a figure with dark hair in the corner, who jumped up and hurried over as soon as I attempted to sit myself up.

"You had us all so worried!" Isabelle sighed as she helped me sit up.

"I've never seen Alec like that."

"Alec? What happened?" I asked.

"What do you remember?" She asked kindly.

"I- I'm not really sure," I said, frowning, trying to draw a picture from her mind but only coming up with blanks.

"We all I know is you and Alec went into the City of Bones and he returned holding you, unconscious, in his arms, yelling at us for help, and shouting that it was all Clary's fault," Isabelle replied.

"Speaking of, I told him I'd let him know when you woke up, so I'll be back in just a second, will you be okay?" She added, a little hesitant to leave. I nodded and waved her away, and she walked quickly from the room. I stood up, a little unsteady, and made my way over to the window, trying to remember what had happened. The last thing I could think of was losing Dot. I remembered going into Pandemonium, but I couldn't remember coming out. It was like everything just stopped when we found that she wasn't there. I opened the window, letting the cool air wash over me, settling my rising anxiety over the situation. I didn't like not knowing things. I wondered if Alec was okay, he'd gone down with me Isabelle said, if I was in this state, what happened to him? Why was only one of us affected? She'd said he carried me out, but that didn't necessarily mean he was okay. Heavy footsteps approaching the room snapped me out of my haze and I turned to face the door just as Alec, Jace, Isabelle and Clary burst through.

"What happened?"

"Are you okay?"

"Don't ever do that again!" As soon as my eyes zeroed on Alec's face, something in the back of my mind clicked. I gasped as the memories flooded me with a jolt. My mother took my memories. She lied to us for eighteen years. Valentine was our father.

"Do you remember something?" Isabelle asked gently. I nodded with wide eyes. I felt sick and I could tell my face had gone pale.

"I remember going down, because Clary didn't want to, I remember the sword, I remember what I saw," I responded weakly.

"What did you see? Do you know where the cup is?" Clary asked. I shook my head, eyes welling up with tears. "Clary, she lied to us. About our father."

"What? What about our father? He died when we were little." My sister looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was, but I doubted that the Silent Brothers would have planted a false memory in my head. I shook my head again.

"Clary, Valentine is our father." The silence that settled was deafening. Jace's eyes went wide, Isabelle's jaw dropped, Clary was shaking her head, speechless and in denial, but Alec, Alec's eyes turned dark. He frowned for a few moments before shaking his head and storming from the room. Jace snapped out of his shock first and hurried out after him. I quickly followed the blonde, leaving the girls in my room. I found the boys in a room a few doors down from mine and hovered by the doorway.

"...These girls show up out of nowhere and they're Valentine's daughters? Did it occur to you that they might be spies? That this might be part of his plan?" I heard Alec's angry voice.

"I thought Bre... Just as I..." Alec let out a frustrated noise and kicked the leg of a chair snapping it in half. For some reason, his disappointment hurt more than his anger. I frowned, tightening my lips. How could he think I'm a spy? I retreated quietly, before either of them noticed, wanting to avoid Alec, but of course that was impossible in a place like this and low and behold we were all back together again in the entrance to the op centre. I stood awkwardly beside Jace, looking anywhere but at Alec, even though I felt his glare.

"I still don't understand," Clary said, drawing everybody's attention to her,

"How can Shadowhunters be better than what you people call mundanes?"

"Because we protect humans," Isabelle replied as though it were obvious - which it was, we must have been over this at least ten times already. Then again, Clary never listened.

"Oh, you're right. Humans. You protect humans. You left Simon all alone in the van. Great job, guys. You rock," She pondered sarcastically.

"Wait a second what happened to Simon?" I asked, suddenly realising he wasn't with us.

"Isabelle was supposed to be watching him, but she left him alone in the van back at the City of Bones and now he's been kidnapped by vampires," Clary accused. I thought about what she said.

"Sorry, what part of that was Isabelle's fault?"

"She left him! Alone!" Clary cried.

"I'm sure she wouldn't have left him with a legitimate reason... Izzy?" I turned to her, as if to ask why she did leave him.

"I heard something moving and needed to check it out, the van was locked, and I told him to stay put," she muttered.

"See, and there is some truth to the idea that human beings should have a modicum of common sense," I raised my eyebrow as I defended Isabelle, who smiled gratefully at me.

"Look, they won't do anything to Simon. They just wanted to draw you out. They want the Cup, and they think you have it," Jace explained, trying to reassure my sister.

"But why do they think that? Why does anyone think that? What, my mom lies to me my entire life except, oh by the way, there's this magic cup, I hid on, like, the planet Bongo, but don't tell anyone," Clary exclaimed, throwing her hands up. I didn't even bother correcting her 'me' to an 'us'.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

"We have to report to the Clave," Alec stated, not the least bit interested in Clary's whining.

"Great," Jace replied sarcastically.

"They have to know we've learned about Valentine," He shot back.

"What, that he's my father? Great. Fine. Tell them. What good does that do Simon?" Clary protested.

"Clary, it's all connected. The vamps want the Cup," Jace tried to explain.

"Why? It makes new Shadowhunters," Clary was confused now and I refrained from rolling my eyes.

"Nobody wants Valentine forming an army loyal to himself," I interjected. Alec shot me a suspicious look at that and I just glared back. If he was going to treat me like that, then he was getting it straight back.

"Plus, it controls demons," Isabelle added.

"They'll propose a trade," Jace said,

"Simon for the Cup."

"So, the vampires will trade Simon for the Cup and Valentine will trade my mother for the Cup. Either way, I lose someone I love," Clary sighed then muttered,

"What if I just toss it up in the air and let them fight it out among themselves?"

"So, this doesn't matter to you?" Alec and I snapped at the same time.

"Yes, of course, it matters!" She fired back, I rolled my eyes, "Listen when you saved my life I put my trust in you. Now, I need you to put your trust in me. I can't turn into what you are overnight."

"It's true. She was raised as a mundane," Isabelle agreed.

"What are you, her spokesman now?" Alec groaned out of irritation then looked between my sister and myself before he added,

"Forgive me if I don't quite put all my faith in the daughters of Valentine." That was it. We trained together and got to know each other and now he completely turned his back on me because of something about me that I didn't even know. I'd had it with him.

"All right, that's enough," I put my hands-on Alec's chest and gave him an almighty shove,

"Do you think we planned for our mom to get kidnapped? Or for Dot to be taken? Or for me to have a giant sword dangle over my head and find out that my father is one of the most dangerous people in the world? Really? How little you must think of me," I spat. I held his startled gaze for a few seconds before looking away with a sigh. Shaking my head, I walked away without another word.

Hope you enjoy Chapter Four

-Angel

#alec lightwood x oc #oc #jace herondale jace wayland jace lightwood jace morgenstern #clary fray #jace wayland #clary fairchild #jace lightwood #isabelle lightwood #alec lightwood #supernatural #lovestory #sisters #twins #matthew daddario #shadowhunters #fanfiction #fanfic #angel #demon

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ubernoxa · 4 years

Text

The Dare

A Guns N’ Roses FanFic

Chapter 9: Goodbye

Chapter 9 - Goodbye

It had been a week.

It had been a week since Mags had last seen Delilah.

A week since she held Delilah as she cried into her arms.

“Hey Mags, you okay,” She looked up to her brother and gave him a faint smile.

“Yeah, just tired,” Steven watched as his sister lied and went back to her gloomy state.

They were supposed to be celebrating this morning. They were playing a Saturday night prime time gig tonight. This could be their shot, and they were treating Mags and the other girls out to breakfast, their way of saying thanks for help over the years.

Delilah remained quiet in her seat at the dinner. Mark directed Beth, Mat, and her to one of the tables to stay out of sight. They had just came from Saturday service, and Mark didn’t want to deal with the trash that spent their time on the strip. Only takes a couple of times being called a Jesus freak to become done with anyone dressed in heavy leather.

Beth was rambling on about her latest ‘culinary creation’, as she put it when Delilah saw them walk in. She tilted her sunhat to stay hidden and went back to pretending to listen to Beth’s story.

Delilah heard Duff’s laugh and immediately turned her head to see their entire table laughing. Delilah’s heart warmed at their smiles and cheers.

She wanted to go and join them.

No. She needed to.

She missed them.

She missed Duff.

She missed Mags. The girl who saved her and asked nothing from her.

“I gotta go to the bathroom,” Delialah said earning a confused look from her friends.

“Then go sweets,” Mark released his grip from around her waist and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Delilah got up and headed towards the bathroom. On her way over towards the bathroom she passed by Mag’s table and tapped on Mag’s arm. She prayed that Mags noticed and followed her to the bathroom after waiting a minute or two.

“Holy shit I missed you,” Mags tackled Delilah the second the bathroom door closed.

Delilah tightened the hug and the two remained hugging for what felt like both second and hours at the same time.

“So, just a tip. If you’re trying to be invisible, don’t wear a big floppy hat. Izzy immediately noticed you,” Laughter immediatly filled the bathroom.

“God, I missed you Mags. It might seem stupid but I feel like I can be myself when I’m with you. Did that sound as crazy out loud as it did in my head?” Delilah asked sitting on one of the sinks.

“If that’s crazy then we might as well sign both of us up for insane asylum.”

After a few moments of silence Mags added, “They’re playing primetime tonight.”

“That’s awesome!” Delilah cheered.

“Yeah...you’re invited you know. We miss you, hell even Axl misses you,” Delilah shook her head at the thought of Axl missing her.

“That’s a lie, he was a complete dick to me,” Delilah immediately replied back. Mags smiled when Delilah said duck. She had rubbed off on her.

“He’s a dick to everyone. According to Izzy that’s how he shows affection,” Mags held Delilah’s hands a she spoke.

“Wait...what the fuck,” Mags lifted up Delilah’s hand to see a ring with a tiny gem on her finger. Mag’s mind froze and looked up to see a gloomy face.

“You’re getting married?” Mags didn’t mean for her tone to be sad. She didn’t mean to insult Delilah.

“Yup,” Delilah sighed looking at the ring.

“What the fuck, weren’t you single a week ago?”

“Yup,” Delilah replied never looking away from the ring on her finger.

“Why aren’t you happy?”

Delilah jumped off the sink and turned to look at herself in the mirror.

“I hate him. Growing up I had a huge crush on him. I was even crushing on him two weeks ago, when our parent set us up for marriage he....changed,” Delilah was great fun that she was able to cover most of the bruise with the foundation that Mags stole for her last week.

“Then run.”

The words came easily off Mag’s tongue. That’s all they were, words.

It’s one thing to say something, and another thing to to actually do it.

“Delilah I...” Mags was interrupted by an elderly woman who walked out of one of the stalls.

Mags and Delilah looked at each other in terror. Mags assumed that Delilah had checked the bathroom, low and behold she didn’t. Mags wondered how long that woman sat in the stall silently waiting before deciding to leave.

“You know honey I know jack shit about your current....situation, but I’m just going to say a couple things before leaving. If you interrupt me, we are going to have problems. Understand?” Both girls nodded their heads as the elderly woman spoke.

“Now this ain’t the 1800s. You are a strong independent woman. You do whatever you want,” the woman said starring at Delilah, scaring the living hell out of her.

“And you! Respect whatever God damn choice she makes. Her choice won’t be easy, and for the rest of her life she will be wondering what if no matter what choice she makes,” the woman now pointed at Mags.

“Do you regret it?” The words escaped Delilah’s mouth before she even thought them.

“There isn’t a moment of my life I regret the choice I made. If I hadn’t made that choice, then I wouldn’t be the woman I am today, but young lady I’m not you. Only you can make that choice for yourself. Just remember you can only chose once,” the woman said before leaving the bathroom.

Several moments of silence filled the room before Delilah spoke.

“I’m leaving, park your brother’s truck a block away from my house. At 8pm sharp I’ll sneak out with what I need and find you. Don’t be late,” Delilah gave Mags a quick hug. For the first time all week she felt giddy and excited.

“Delilah?,” Mags froze at Duff’s words and turned.

“Duff, hows it going?” Delilah watched as Duff removed the arm that was around some girl and turned his attention to her.

She looked the same as he remembered her. Long brown hair and wearing some type of floral dress. She seemed off though, he wondered if she was limping.

“Good, my bedroom windows don’t open anymore, so it’s kinda hard to get out. I heard you have a gig tonight! Congratulations!” Delilah cheered as she hid the ring behind her other hand.

“You should come tonight, I...we all miss you,” Duff quickly corrected himself.

“She’s coming. I’m picking her up at 8 so we should be there around 8:30 ish,” Mags piped in.

“That’s awesome! See you then!” Steven cheered.

“Why is she still talking to them? Now they’re laughing!” Beth rolled her eyes at Mark’s frustration. The three of them sat at their table watching Delilah talk to some other customers.

“Isn’t that the girl from the photo? The girl you guys met at the bar,” Mat chimed in. Mark pulled the picture out of his wallet and unfolded it.

“Why do you have that in your wallet?” Beth asked while taking a sip of her orange juice.

“It’s a cute picture of her, look at that smile,” Beth shot him a questioning look before Mat took the photo from him.

“Yeah that’s totally her, Delilah is just probably being nice and is catching up with her,” Mat said passing the picture back to Mark.

Beth didn’t need to see the picture to know it was the girl from the bar. She recognized the tall blonde who had his arm around another chick until Delilah showed up. He was the guy from the other photos Delilah had in the bag. He was trouble.

Before Beth could stop him, Mark stood up and walked over towards Delilah. Oh great, even more trouble.

“Jesus, this is going to be bad,” Beth said as she remained frozen in her seat earning a slow nod from Mat.

“Hey sweets, you should come back to the table,” Delilah tried to squirm away as Mark stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Just a minute, I’m talking to some friends,” Delilah’s words were harsh and caught Mark off guard.

She knew what he was doing. Maybe he recognized Mags from the picture?

Now was not a time for him to claim his territory.

Was she really going to fight him over this? Mark shook his head and tightened his grip. He was in no mood for Delilah’s stubbornness. It was rude of her to spend time away from Mags and Mat. They were helping them celebrate.

“Come on sweets, we should go back,” Delilah fought off tears as she said goodbye. She knew that his grip would leave behind bruises.

“Who the Hell was that,” Axl asked the moment they were out of earshot.

“You just met the reason why we haven’t seen or heard from Delilah,” Mags coldly stated before taking another bite out of her burger.

———-

It was 7:30.

30 minutes until she would leave.

She tightened her grip on the small letters she held in her hands.

One for her family.

One for Beth.

Delilah stood outside of Beth’s house waiting for someone to answer.

“Oh hi Delilah, I’m sorry but Beth isn’t home,” Beth’s mother said with a solemn face.

“Oh, I know. She needed me to pick up a shirt for her. She spilled tomato sauce all over her blouse, but you didn’t hear that from me,” Delilah explained as Beth’s mother let her inside.

“How kind of you to offer to go grab her a shirt. Thanks for being such a good friend to Beth. You two are like two peas in a pod. Did Beth tell you what Charlie and Edmond said the other day,” Beth’s mother had Delilah trapped in a corner in their small entryway. All she could do is shake her head no and let Beth’s mother continue the story.

“Well apparently they read a book about two elderly woman who were good at painting,”

“Oh that’s sounds lovely,” Delilah interrupted her in order to hopefully speed up the story.

“Delilah, you’re soon to be a wife. You should know that interrupting is rude,” Beth’s mother scolded Delilah before she went back to the story.

“Anyway the story was about two women who met as little girls, and were never apart. They were with each other through thick and thin. Do you know what Charlie and Edmond said?”

“No, what did they say,” Delilah faked her interest in order to not get scolded. She had a sinking feeling of where this story was going.

“They said the two women reminded them of you and Beth. Through thick and thin you two have been with each other. I’m so thankful that God put the two of you in each other’s lives.

“Me too, forever thankful,” Delilah said fighting off tears. God, she hated how much she had cried over the past week. She couldn’t break down in front of Beth’s mother without raising any questions. She needed to keep up the facade she adopted last week when her and Mark went on their first ‘date’.

Delilah walked up the stairs with a pit in her stomach. Was she a horrible person? Was she abandoning Beth, her closest friend.

She stood in Beth’s room and looked at the photos that were hidden behind her door. She found Beth’s Sunset Strip costume that she made for herself.

Was all of this because a stupid dare?

“Hey mom!” Delilah jumped at the sound of Beth’s voice.

WHAT WAS SHE DOING HOME EARLY.

“Delilah’s upstairs looking for a replacement shirt,” Delilah quickly left the note on Beth’s pillow, but she ran into her when she left her room.

Delilah hugged a confused Beth, and whispered, “I’m sorry,” before leaving the house.

Delilah ran downstairs and out of Beth’s house as fast as she could. When she got home, she ran upstairs grabbed her bag, and left the note on her parents pillow.

The truck was easy to find. Mags helped Delilah throw her duffle into the tuck, and soon they were off.

Delilah had prepared herself for running off.

She prepared herself for packing.

She was ready to leave her parents.

She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Beth, her best friend, who was currently screaming at the top of her lungs begging for Delilah to come back.

Beth watched as the truck escaped her sight. Her running wasn’t fast enough.

Beth knew why Delilah had to leave.

Mark had changed, and it wasn’t for the better.

Beth wasn’t mad that Delilah had left her. She was mad that Delilah didn’t take her with.

#guns and roses #gnr #gnr imagine #guns n’ roses #duff fanfic #duff mckagan / oc #duff mckagan #axl rose #steven adler #slash #the dare #the dare fanfic

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letsdothistom · 5 years

Text

Jan. 4th, 2019

So, who the hell is Tom you may ask? Well, let me tell you about Tom. Tom is a short, skinny, late 20‘s, early 30‘s guy with a big smile. He’s a pretty handsome dude, with dark hair on his slightly large head. I don’t know a whole lot about Tom, such as his last name, or what kind of car he drives, but I do know a few basic details. I know that he is from Michigan, still vacations there with his family (whom I know nothing about), and he hates how thick the flies get in Michigan come late summer. Tom likes Nike shoes. He doesn’t walk with a limp or wear an earring, or wear cowboy boots. That last one is really just a guess. But Tom may have saved my life. Not in so much as dragging me from a burning vehicle, or rescuing me from drowning or even fighting off a grizzly bear that was attacking me. None of those things happened. Tom also didn’t deliver me to religion, walk me through a twelve step program, or give me the Heimlich. Nope, none of those things. What Tom did was give me courage when I needed it most. Ya see, on July 23rd, 2018 I had a heart attack. Des Moines, Iowa, taking photos, walking my basset hound Lionel (who was absolutely no help at all) and thinking about what I was going to have for dinner. Tom was my anesthesiologist. After a rough week or so in the hospital, being transported to Denver, from Cheyenne, WY in the wackiest ambulance ride ever (a topic for another blog entry) things were looking a little bleak. My heart was working at about 10 percent and I very easily could have been taking a dirt nap. The deep sleep. Six feet under. Pushing up Daisies. As you can imagine spirits weren’t at an all-time high. Of course my family was all there and being supportive. We aren’t ones to really sugar coat much of anything, which was much appreciated, but I know it was tough on us all. There was Kate, my wife, sleeping on the hospital couch night after night, my emotional sister Heather, my stalwart mom, Betty, always the trooper and in her wheel-house during these tough times (in spite of just having surgery for breast cancer), and my happy-go-lucky brother Jon, who always has a smile on his face. Of course my in-laws were there (dealing with their own medical issues) and all the better halves, cousins, and of course the medical team that consisted of at least enough doctors to fill out the starting offensive side of a football team. Add in the nurses and other medical staff and you could fill an entire 52 man NFL roster. While I‘ve never really been one to worry much, and I don‘t really get down on myself or events in my life, I certainly would never consider myself to be courageous. I’m scared of heights, can’t swim, and don’t even care for the dark. But I also know that I’m a pretty strong big-picture guy when the chips are down. I was gonna need to summons all the strength I could if I was going to get through all this. I was going to have to find a little courage. Every single person there played a huge role in keeping me alive and having the most positive attitude I could have in those circumstances. We played card games, Jon brought me hand-held football and baseball (still two of the sweetest games you will ever find), and probably the thing our family does best, reminisce about good (and some bad) times. All that said, let me tell you, it aint easy to stay upbeat even for a good natured guy like myself. Shit was getting REAL! After scores of doctors and tests, advice from medical staff, support from my family, encouraging words from tons of friends, the time of reckoning was quickly approaching. Open heart surgery. For those who haven’t experienced it (looking back, I wouldn’t recommend it), it is a daunting, terrifying moment in time and flat out scary as hell! It’s the day before surgery, and here comes this jolly (although not like Santa Claus, as I said, Tom is skinny), smiling, whistling-a-tune young guy with not a care in the world. Meet Tom. Tom introduced himself as my anesthesiologist and started to chat with me like we were old friends. Well, you get all kinds. I had doctors who tried easing my concerns, I had doctors who flat out scared me, I had doctors who didn’t really know what to say. But Tom was none of these. Tom just talked. Tom asked me about myself. Tom told me about how he was going on vacation in a few days with his family, back to Michigan where he and his wife were from. Tom told me about how he was going fishing but was a little worried about the flies, because sometimes in August in Michigan they were so thick that you couldn’t concentrate on the act of actually fishing. Apparently you spent the entire time swatting flies. Tom was just Tom, and I liked him. Fast forward to 3:30 a.m day of open heart surgery. OPEN HEART SURGERY! I still can hardly believe it. Surgery is set for 5:30 a.m. with Dr Reese; another awesome cat. I’ve had absolutely no sleep, partially because of the crazy ass people from the sleep study place who came in to put a mask on me to help with sleep apnea at 1:00 a.m. but more likely because its a scary ass feeling not knowing if this is the last time you will ever go to sleep! Or see your loved ones. Or listen to music (yes Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue got a workout that night). Or anything else for that matter. If that shit doesn’t scare you, you are a badass MFer. Or a liar. The cleansing, disinfecting shower/bath thing...that’s the low-point. At least for me. Anyone who has experienced it, knows my dread, knows my fear. This is it. The time is here... I woke up. Well that may be an overstatement. It was more of a...well...I can’t explain it. No possible way for me to put into words the shitty, horrid, awful way I felt. “Woke up” is the best I can do. This funny tube thing in my throat and the worst saliva issue ever. No one but Leeds in the room (Leeds is my moms Thelma to her Louise). I don’t know where I am at, but I am here; someplace. I don’t know if I’ve been in a coma for weeks, or if I’ve dreamt the whole shitty experience but I hear things, I see things, I feel like shit, but I am HERE! Back to 5:00 a.m. Bath/shower thing has been taken. I’ve been wheeled in the bed down to the operating room waiting area. Jon and Kate sitting in the chairs next to me, waiting. None of us know what to say. We don’t really know how to act or what to feel. I am scared. And getting more scared by the minute. Dr. Reese saunters in, Oklahoma through and through. He asks how I am doing and tries to give me a bit of a pep talk, but frankly at this point I’m hearing but not listening. All sorts of thoughts are racing around my mind. Yep, the same things you would be thinking if in my shoes. Dr. Reese says they are gonna run a line in my arm and the anesthesiologist will be there shortly. All the dread in the world is running through me at this point. I am trying to find courage. Enter Tom. Smiling, pep-in-his-step, ready for his day, Tom. I have no idea what the conversation entailed aside from the normal medical information talk. I don’t know what I said, other than a few nervous, anxious stupid jokes about the situation. Ridiculous, I know, but I had no control of anything at this point. Tom just smiles. A cheeky, knowing smile. Tom chats back with me. Tom tells me not to worry, it’ll be done in no time, and he’ll come check on me in ICU. Tom just keeps on smiling. Tom just keeps on being Tom. As if we are old friends. And I think of fishing in Michigan, and flies so thick you have to keep swatting them from your face. I don’t remember what really happened from that point until seeing Leeds sitting across my room reading. No clue. But I remember something changing midway through that conversation with Tom. Something came to life in me and I didn’t have a care in the world. My brother Jon said the last he saw of me was Tom wheeling me down the hallway towards the operating room, and hearing me say, “LET’S DO THIS TOM”. So to borrow from my niece Izzy, Lesson learned that day: Have courage. And if you don’t have courage, YOU BETTER EFFIN FIND SOME!

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