bangtan bangtan bang BANGTAN! #BTS #bangtan #OT7
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14 and 15 for the choose violence fandom ask game? with the choose violence fandom, aftg, ofc!
ofc!
that one thing you see in fanart all the time: Neil's scars bein tiny little white lines. cmon people.
that one thing you see in fics all the time: Neil being a little softie ????? did we read the same books??
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Personal shit under cut.
Today would have been my mom's 67th birthday.
I miss her lots and I'm a crying mess right now but I just wanted to let these feelings out and not hold it in because I feel like she would be mad that I'm stopping my life because she's dead. I can hear her in my head saying "ay mija, stop letting the world pass you by. Enjoy your life." At the same time though I know she would be saddened to know that my life has kept moving without her. I mean I got married exactly a month after she died.
Anyway, all this dumping to say I miss my mom.
Now to share a story about her.
We took this picture in 2001 at the opening of DCA in Anaheim. Most of the rides were closed cuz it was raining, not the carousel tho. We rode that thing like 3 times in a row, maybe more. She held my hand because this was after we went to see "it's tough to be a bug" and the damn show scared the hell out of me because I was 9 and afraid of spiders and roaches. She always held my hand whenever I was scared. I held her hand throughout her illness and even when I painted her nails for her funeral. The last picture I have with her is holding her hand before we said goodbye the last time.
I hope that wherever she is, she's happy, not in pain, and with her family. She had a hard life, and an even harder last 8 years. She was my sun and moon. She was my best friend, my comfort, and my mommy. I don't know how many people have been lucky to have a loving mom like her, but I can definitely say I was one of them.
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happy birthday han sooyoung <3
bare and bruised, a body so full of love and regret it crumbles under the weight of me. i carry everything on my broken shoulder, ligaments moving farther into the sunken depth of me with every step i take to a happy ending.
a lover disguised as a villain, hollow limbs overflow to the top, emotion spilling out of every single orifice in me. i am bottled up, memories of the past too much for a tortured mind.
i stare into the walls of my room every night waiting for a nightmare to find me, waiting for a dream to save me from the thoughts that eat at my skin, open and bleeding wounds to be felt by the air.
a shattered glass, the sharpness of me cut into pieces and hidden in places you cannot see, i am rotten and i wait like a dog who has known nothing else but the temporary comfort of a family. my hands are nothing but flesh, worked to the bone for a hypothetical i know you will end up destroying.
i am a genius and yet i cannot save any of you, i am a god and yet i cannot change the course of time. i am worthless and filthy, my hands stink of your blood and i cannot bring myself to wash it off when it is the only thing i have left of you.
i cannot breathe, my brilliance has done nothing for me but failure and yet, i continue. no matter how much it is ruined, how much blood is sprayed on the canvas, my desired epilogue; i will find you and love you again and again. if i can do anything with this skeleton of mine, our dreams will no longer be dreams.
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