#i mean we don't even get more than a passing description on people's appearances from him

[pandorasprongs]

JAMIE TARTT | and i don't even like you that much. wait, i do. f*ck.

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 5.8k

SUMMARY: jamie is actually a board game nerd and starts spending more time with one of the employees of a local shop.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: this idea came to me as someone asked me if i wanted to buy another volume of a board game we had HAHA if you can figure out what game i'm referring to in this story, hmu! alsooo i want to apologize for the length i swear i didn't mean for it to get that long, but still, i hope you all enjoy! title is from the song 'apple cider' by beabadoobee!

It was another slow morning in the store, given that most of your frequent customers were forced to be in school at this time. You ended up continuing one of the readings for your class during your shift. Despite a wave of drowsiness hitting you the moment you opened the book, it was still better having free time to be tired than the afternoon rush when 13-year-old boys came in to get another booster pack of Magic: The Gathering cards.

You were practically setting all these children up for a gambling addiction the way they'd spend 20 pounds trying to get one of those shiny ones in their deck. You never bothered to learn the names really, because that wasn't part of your job description. When it came to those kinds of things, those boys probably knew more than you did.

When it came to board games though, that was your area of expertise. It was partly one of the reasons you applied to work here while you were finishing up your Master's, — and also because of how generous the owner was with your salary, — so you always loved helping people out for their board game nights. You didn't have regulars that would come in often, but here and there, there would be a person you recognize from before asking about another game.

You don't know how much time had passed, but after deciding that your brain could no longer take reading the word cognitive multiple times in a sentence, you end up shutting the book and resting your head on the counter.

Soon after though, you hear the bell at the top of the door ring, causing you to jolt up. You only catch a glimpse of the guy walking towards you before he drops his head, his cap completely blocking his face, and a loose black hoodie covering his frame.

For a second, you get worried that the store was about to get robbed but the man finally stops in front of you and speaks, in a thick Mancunian accent. "Do you have any suggestions for board games? Like for family and stuff,"

You swear you've heard his voice before. Maybe from school? Or a former customer? You decide to shake it off before replying. "Well, this is a board game store, so there's quite a lot to pick from. Do you have any specific theme in mind? How many players?"

"There'll be 3 of us, but I'm not really picky with the game. Not any of those monopoly type shit though, cause I'm sick of never winning."

You chuckle at the revelation and that's what gets the man to look up at you. It definitely wasn't his appearance he was worried about. His chiseled jaw and striking blue eyes almost draw you in, not to mention his hairstyle looks eerily like the one David Beckham had in the 90s, who you had to admit was a crush of yours as a kid. He could even pass as a contestant on one of those dating reality shows.

And then it hits you where you've heard his voice before. This guy was on Lust Conquers All and was immediately voted off. You remember it well because your sister was so pissed at him for joining the show since the football season had just started. Jamie something, but the show never mentioned his last name. You try to hide your realization by turning to the shelf behind you.

"Alright uh, I’d recommend this one." You turn back around and slide it across the counter as Jamie (?) starts looking at the box from all angles.

"Looks cool," is all he says in reply and he looks back at you, presumably for you to explain the game. You tuck a piece of hair behind your ear before going on your usual introduction to the game.

"Basically in the game, there are 4 characters you can choose to be your 'heroes.' Your main objective is to get your opponent's health to 0 using the different cards in your set. All the characters have different decks and skills you can use throughout the game, and some of them even have side kicks." You look back up for a second to see his expression and you can tell that you're still holding his interest.

"So for example in the one I gave you, you can battle Sinbad, Medusa, King Arthur, and Alice, who's fucking amazing, by the way."

"Alice? From fucking Wonderland?" You laugh at his surprise before nodding to affirm it. "She's your favorite then?"

"How'd you know?" You ask sarcastically. "But yeah, she's just really versatile and it's just really fun to shrink and grow every turn just to piss off the other players. I'm practically unbeatable using her." You admit though you're not really sure why.

Most of the time when customers come in here for a game, they don't ask questions and just buy the first one you suggest. That’s probably why you answered Jamie's question so earnestly. Cause he's the first one to ever ask you what you liked about the game.

You quickly run through the rest of the rules and mechanics of the game with Jamie chiming in occasionally. You describe the other editions as well and Jamie is tempted to buy the other one — "How is anyone supposed to beat fucking Dracula?" — before he ultimately decides to take home the one you offered.

"If I end up losing using Alice, you owe me a refund." He states as you ring up the game. You playfully roll your eyes as you scan the barcode on the box.

"Oh yeah, since you're the first customer of the day, you get a 7% discount on your purchase," you quickly inform him when you glance at the post-it note on the register screen reminding you about it in bold letters.

Instead of the usual gratefulness or blip of happiness from hearing that news, Jamie instead asks, "Is that really a thing or are you doing it because you know who I am?"

You look at him to check if he's serious and given his blank look, you assume he is. You don't know how to respond to that, so instead you just slowly shake your head.

"Wait, do you not know who I am?" His question itself comes off as arrogant, but given the genuine surprise in your voice, you're not sure how to feel about the guy after he says it.

You decide to answer him honestly. "I do, but given that you walked in here in clothes that make you look like a stalker who's about to rob the place, I didn't think you'd want me to make a big fuss about it, Jamie."

His shoulders seem to relax at your statement and once he goes quiet, he finally pulls out his wallet. You quickly place the game in a paper bag and hand it over to him.

He whispers a quick thanks and turns to leave, before pausing. He turns back to you, "Look, it's not like I'm dressed this way because I'm embarrassed to be in a store like this—"

"I didn't think you were," you answer blankly with a hint of sarcasm. You decide to mess with the guy a little bit because hey, when's the next time a famous footballer comes into your store again? "Why, is there something I should be embarrassed about?"

Jamie quickly shakes his head. "No, fuck no! I think it's cool, really. You know, being surrounded by all these games and cards and knowing so much about them. Especially someone like you,"

You tilt your head in amusement. "What do you mean someone like me?" Jamie's embarrassment only seems to deepen at that.

"Fuck I didn't mean it like that. Honestly, when I came in here, I was expecting some teenage boy to be at the counter. Wait no— I mean, girls can like all this stuff too! I just didn't expect someone attr—," he stops himself and shakes his head. "Shit, wait,"

You watch Jamie scramble for words and you decide to just put an end to his misery. "Look, look, I was just joking around. I don't give that much of a shit about what you said." The football player visibly relaxes and you hold in a laugh at that reaction. "And you're basically right about the kind of people who work here. Most of my co-workers can't work these hours right now 'cause they're off studying for their A-Levels."

"Yeah, well thank you for this," Jamie lifts the bag slightly and you give him a genuine smile.

"No problem. Hope you enjoy the game! And if you ever feel compelled to dress like a shitty robber again, you can come back and tell me what you think." Your sarcasm no longer throws Jamie off who instead, just playfully rolls his eyes and leaves the store.

You go back to your reading for your behavioral science class, putting your interaction with the football player in the back of your mind.

—

The next time you see Jamie is two weeks later, although this time, he comes in right before closing. Technically, you weren't the only one assigned for this shift, but you decided to let your co-worker go home early since he said he had an English exam the next day and still hadn't studied.

So, you were counting down the minutes to 8 pm when you hear someone come inside. Fucking hell. You force a smile, "Hi, welcome! We'll be closing in a few minutes, but please approach me if you need anything so you can have a speedier process."

"Are you really that desperate to get rid of me?" The person moves away from the shelves and turns out to be Jamie Tartt, you learn his last name is. He's wearing another grey hoodie but seems to have decided to ditch his hat. Good, because you weren't sure how much longer you could stare at the ICON written on it and not judge him. "I wanna know, did you think offering to help the customer would get them out of here quicker?"

"I had to try something," you defend yourself, shrugging. You notice Jamie carrying the bag you used to wrap the board game and slightly frown. "Didn't like the game?"

He follows your eyes and is quick to correct you. "I loved it, actually. First time playing a board game that Simon didn't win during the first round." You aren't sure who Simon is, but you laugh nonetheless. "And you're right, Alice is fucking unbeatable."

"I'm glad you liked it, and Alice," you start, but then glance at the time on your phone. "But, is that the only reason you came here?"

"Well no, I was wondering if you wanted to play. That's why I came so late, in case there would be too many people if I came at the usual time."

"Yeah, there was a fuck ton, actually, as you can tell from the fully stocked store." You say, pretending to look around the room. "But sure, if you want. I don't have anything going on tomorrow anyway," Now you're really glad that you didn't procrastinate that paper due tonight.

Jamie smiles as he starts to unbox the set and you grab one of the chairs behind the counter and push it to the other side for the footballer.

Never did you imagine you would spend a Saturday night with a hot football player playing one of your favorite board games, but here you were. In between one of the rounds, the topic of football is brought up and you admit that you don't know all that much about it despite your family being made up of fanatics.

"Everyone has their team they support. My dad loves Arsenal, my mum loves Chelsea, and my sister bounces between West Ham and Crystal Palace. Though, she fucking hates Rupert Mannion, so maybe this is the end of her West Ham support." You answer as you shuffle Jamie's deck.

"Shit, the season must be fun for you guys," Jamie remarks and you snort, though instantly regretting letting that sound out. The football player looks unfazed, so you decide not to apologize for it and answer his question instead.

"Yeah, I basically end up being their messenger till the finals, which ends up becoming World War 3 if their teams are competing," you hand him his deck back and start the round, but your conversation doesn't end there.

"What team would you support then, if you got into football?" He looks hopefully at you.

"Yours, probably." You confirm as you look through your first hand of cards. "I mean, I'm about to destroy one of their players at this game. It's the least I can do."

"We'll see about that," Jamie replies and you roll your eyes playfully, but you smile.

Working at the store meant you were surrounded by board game fans every day, but not even your regulars would come in here after your shift to play. You couldn't help but feel warm at how Jamie matched your enthusiasm about the game, something, you admit, you didn't expect from the player. You knew nothing would probably come from this harmless happy crush of yours, but if he decided to start coming in often to play, you wouldn't be opposed to it.

Your attention turns back to the game once Jamie picks his next move. He smirks at his decision until his expression suddenly shifts. "Wait, if you're not into football, how'd you know who I was the other day?"

You move your piece before looking directly into Jamie's eyes and respond, "I just really love trashy reality shows." Jamie playfully groans at the reminder and you burst into laughter before you continue the game.

True to form, whichever of the two of you uses Alice is the one to win that round. You finally decide on a tie-breaker with your favorite being banned from usage.

"Christ, if this is how you maneuver in a board game, I wonder how good you are at football." You tease, as you glance at his character being at only 4HP.

"I'm fucking amazing, actually. Ask your family, they'll tell you." Jamie moves a few spaces on the board, hoping to escape your Medusa, but instead, he falls into one of your traps.

You corner him and finally reduce his King Arthur's health. "And there you go, 3-2."

It takes Jamie a second to absorb everything before he slouches. "Fucking hell." You laugh before getting up from your chair and helping him keep all the pieces and cards.

"Better luck next time, Tartt."

Jamie, whose competitive side seems to be shining in this game, doesn't let it end there.

Almost every week, he would come into the store at night asking to play. He was definitely getting better, but after making a deal where the loser has to tell an embarrassing story after the round, you realize you know more about him than he probably does about you.

"God Jamie, how are you alive?" You ask as he shares a story from when he first started the league.

"How was I supposed to know doing multiple headers in one match could lead to a bloody concussion?" He retorts, only making your eyes widen even more.

"I'm pretty sure that's common knowledge to about 80% of the population," you say through your laughter.

It's almost 10 when you finish playing, so you grab your jacket and start heading to the door with Jamie. You lock the store up and notice that Jamie's still hanging around you.

It's dark outside, but it seems like his features were even more enhanced by the moonlight. The light hit his eyes just the right way that it made the blue more evident. You notice just then how his hair is neater today, mainly because of his sports headband. The front strands of his hair had fallen out it though, falling on his face in just the right way that it gave you butterflies. Did all footballers look this attractive?

You realize that you may have been starting a bit too long and as you tuck the keys in your jacket pocket, you decide to ask, "Need anything else?"

Jamie opens his mouth to say something, but instead, he just shakes his head. "Nothing actually, just good night," he waves and starts walking in the opposite direction, but you swear you hear him muttering something under his breath.

—

It had been a week since then and you had to start telling yourself to not be so excited when you hear the bell ring. Every time it did, you'd look expectantly at the door expecting to see Jamie again, asking for another or a new volume or even just game tips. Each time, you'd end up disappointed and would have to fake a smile to the customer approaching you.

This time you hear it ring, and you do your best to not look up. If it was Jamie, you knew that your boss George probably would be sounding an alarm. You only learned the Monday after that he was a major AFC Richmond fan when you mentioned that a football player had visited the store multiple times to play board games.

"Do you think we can get him to sign a picture and put it on the wall? Can you ask?" You quickly have to explain how those interactions were the only times you ever spoke to Jamie and had no actual way of contacting him.

As you close your laptop, — one more paragraph and that essay is done! — you look up to find two guys standing in front of you.

"Hi, do you have any board game recommendations?" the one on the right greeted, his accent quickly revealing him to be Welsh.

You don't have a chance to answer because the left one lightly elbows his friend before whispering (though loud enough for you to hear), "He already told us what to get, bruv."

You may not know who this 'he' is, but the guy pulls out his phone and shows you a picture of a board game, the same one you recommended to Jamie. Wishful thinking gets you to believe that they were friends of his and he liked it so much that he told them about it. And maybe about you, too.

You've never been so happy to be right.

You nod your head and as he kept his phone, you started pulling the same edition from the shelf behind you when you hear a screeching sound that almost made you drop the box.

"Oh my God, Colin Hughes, and Isaac McAdoo!" George exclaims and you wonder where you've heard those names before.

The owner joins you at the counter as you place the board game in front of you. Maybe you weren't pretending to be as peppy as you usually do, because George decides to ask, "How are you so calm? Do you know who these guys are? They're Colin Hughes and Isaac McAdoo!"

"I heard you the first time," you turn to the two guys once again, embarrassed on behalf of your boss.

"They're part of the starting team of AFC Richmond!" And that's when it clicks. On one of your all-nighters, you decided to take a break and search up Jamie Tartt just to see what you could find. You ended up at his club's website and saw the rest of the players as well. You didn't pay them much attention given that you were so focused on player number 9, but you saw enough pictures to recognize them, at least.

"So you guys do know Jamie," you think out loud and the two players turn to each other, before sharing looks of realization.

"Oh, you're the girl!" Colin exclaims and you can't help but feel butterflies in your stomach.

"Yeah, I guess so," you try and act as nonchalantly as possible, so neither of them picks up on anything. You turn back to the game and ask, "Is this the one you wanted?"

"Jamie said there were other versions?" Isaac asks and you nod your head to confirm it, which he smiles at. "We want the Sherlock one."

"Okay," you reach for that one on the shelf as George starts offering them discounts on the game.

When he almost offers to give it to them for free along with another set, you stop him by slamming the box on the counter. Why were you the one trying to keep his business alive? "Here it is, hope you enjoy it!"

You ring up their purchase, still trying to hold your boss back from scaring these footballers away before they can pay. You finally bag the whole thing and hand it to them. "Thank you!" you shout as they exit the store.

"Yeah, see you soon!" George says afterward and you look at him in confusion.

"What the fuck was that, George?" He only sighs, most likely the embarrassment only hitting him at that exact moment.

Once he goes back to doing inventory, you can't help but replay what Colin said. Oh, you're the girl! Why was such a simple phrase like that affecting you so much? For all you know, he might've mentioned you being a sore winner, which wouldn't be the first time you've been called that.

But you still hope he said good things about you and maybe even kept better things he thought to himself.

—

"Okay, time's up. Please pass your papers." You write one last word as you get up to give your exam to the proctor, sighing in relief that the semester is finally over.

You had asked for leave for the past few days and didn't have a shift until tomorrow, so you decide to treat yourself to some coffee and pasta for lunch at the campus cafe.

As you settle down at one of the tables, you get a phone call from George. He was more than happy to let you take the time off, so you wonder what emergency had to happen for him to contact you.

As soon as you pick up, George screams your name into the phone. You pull it away from your ear for a second, and respond, "What? What do you need?"

"Look, I'm sorry to disturb you on your day off, but you said that your test ended at 2:30, so I decided to hold off calling you till then. Anyway, someone came in a few days ago asking if we host board game nights."

"And we do," you answer for him as you chew your sandwich.

"Right, and then he said that he was from AFC Richmond." You flinch after imagining how your boss could've reacted at that revelation. "They wanted to hold it a few days ago," George pauses.

"Why didn't you say yes? You could've been game master."

"Yeah well, I wanted to, but they specifically asked for you to go." You put down your sandwich and straighten up. George continues, "I told them you were on leave, but they said they could wait till you were back at work. I said that your test was this morning and I would ask if you'd be willing to end your leave early."

"Okay, sure." You answer, a little faster than you intended. You couldn't believe that the team — and maybe even Jamie personally, — was willing to postpone their game night just so you would be the one to facilitate it.

The surprise was evident in George's voice. Normally, you would reject his idea the moment he mentioned board game nights, but something about this was different for you. "Oh okay, well, I'll send you the address. I'll be bringing the boards there since you don't have a car and I'll meet you there at 4 pm. It's a restaurant, so maybe you can get something to eat before 'cause shit can get crazy at those things and it's best to load up."

You don't know how a board game night could get crazy, but you decide not to comment on it. He sends you the details through text before you end the call and continues eating your sandwich. The place wasn't too far from campus, so you didn't have to rush to get there. But after 10 minutes, you consumed your sandwich and were out the door with your coffee in hand.

While walking, you decided to familiarize yourself more with the players trying to put names to face before you had to interact with all of them at once. You started to get the hang of it, — even looking at team photos and naming them one by one as a test — as you get to the venue at around half past 3.

You arrive at a restaurant called Ola's, and you remember seeing one of the Richmond players post about it. Your dad wanted to have dinner here once, but they were always fully booked so the four of you gave up trying to get a table there.

Because of that, you expected the place to be swamped with customers, but instead find an almost empty restaurant. You notice one guy standing in the middle of it and approach him.

"Hi," He turns around and you recognize him as Sam Obisanya, meaning he must be the owner. You introduce yourself quickly before asking, "Am I at the right place? I'm here to help host a board game tournament."

Sam's eyes widen as he seems to recognize you. "Oh yes, this is the place. Sorry, I didn't expect you to be so early. We already fixed up the tables, but I can also help in setting up the boards if you like."

"Ah no, it's alright. My boss is the one who’s bringing them. I came from my university, so I don't have any of them on me right now." You quickly explain and Sam nods as he leads you to one of the tables to relax, while he grabs some appetizers from the kitchen.

He makes his way back to the table, though he can't seem to stop looking at you. You subconsciously start fixing your hair, wondering if you should've gone to the bathroom before going in here.

He seems to pick up on this and is quick to reassure you, "Oh, I'm sorry for staring. It's just Jamie has mentioned you so many times, so it's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of the football player. You grab some of the food he offered as you reply as calmly as you can, "Oh yeah, did he tell you how he is nowhere close to beating my number of wins?"

Sam lets out a short chuckle. "No, but I'm not surprised. He did say you're very good at it." You smile and decide to ask why they decided to do a board game night.

It takes a second before Sam replies, "Oh well, Coach always says to do team-building activities every once in a while, and seeing as Jamie has asked almost everyone on the team to play the game at least once, we thought it would be a good idea. I think Isaac and Colin got their own board too and they started bringing it to the clubhouse."

"Shit, I didn't realize that football players loved board games so much," you remarked as you hear the door to the restaurant open.

Both of you look up to see George, who is trying to carry 12 boxes of board game sets. You rush out of your seat to help him out and so does Sam. The sight of the player almost makes your boss drop all of them from his arms, but you quickly scoop four of them and Same takes another four.

"Sam Obisanya," George exhales, once some of the weight is literally lifted off him.

The player simply says, "Hello," and states that he'll start setting up the four boards on the tables near the back.

You snap your fingers to get George out of the trance and the two of your start setting up on the rest of your tables, dropping the character figurines at the bar table and putting the sign-up sheet next to it. Slowly, the restaurant starts filling up with players with George gradually losing his mind at the number of footballers from his favorite team.

You finally get him to leave, but only by promising to convince the team to take a picture with him when he came back to pick up the boards. You're pretty sure he's already making plans to put it on a canvas and hang it on his bed.

You settle yourself behind the bar table to be in charge of the players setting up, each time expecting it to be Jamie standing in front of you. You try and keep your focus on the task at hand every time you hear the boys greet someone new.

Isaac and Colin are the next to write their names and they give you a look that you can't quite decipher. Soon enough, Jamie finally gets here and you straighten up in your seat. He greets some of the players till his eyes land on you.

He approached the bench and once he looked up, he observed out loud. "You're here,”

"Aw, did you want to get rid of me that badly?" You mimic him before explaining that you finished your leave earlier, "just to see you, of course." — with some truth behind that statement. Jamie laughs — albeit, a little awkwardly, — and takes the clipboard. As he signs up, you decide to take the chance to tease him. "Heard you were talking about me to your teammates."

Jamie's eyes widen and he stops writing to shoot glares at the rest of AFC Richmond, not sure who told you. Jamie turns back to you and you laugh. "Don't worry, Tartt. I'm sure you just told them how I'm an absolute god at the game and you're glad I'm not playing tonight." The football player simply rolls his eyes as he joins his teammates.

Once the whole team is complete along with their kit-man Will, you decide to start the tournament. "Okay, hi everyone! Welcome to your board game night." The crowd cheers and you're startled by their enthusiasm. You quickly explain the rules of the night, — though they seem to already know most of it, — and the order of players. It's a draw lots method, so the players will be randomly given a character and an opponent.

Once everyone gets their characters and settles in, you start making rounds in case anyone had any questions. After a while, you start heading back to the bar when someone taps you on the shoulder. You find Jamie already done with his round.

"How'd you win that quickly?" You don't try to hide the surprise in your voice. "Even I take like 20 minutes minimum to win."

"Oh I didn't," Jamie clarifies, and you widen your eyes. "I just couldn't attack Dani. I mean, look at that face." You turn to their table and find Dani smiling at you — "This is fun!" — and waving using his Dracula figurine.

You laugh at his reasoning. "Alright then, guess you're done for the night." You walk back to the bar and Jamie stops on the opposite side of it.

"You hungry? Sam said there's prepped meals in the back and since none of the games are ending soon…" Jamie offers and you obliged, seeing as this might be the only time you might ever get to eat in this restaurant. He grabs two plates from there and settles down next to you. Surprisingly, he managed to grab one of your favorite dishes. You remember mentioning to him that you had tried it at another restaurant in the past and loved it, but you doubt he even remembers it and dubbed it a coincidence.

You decide to keep the topic off board games and instead let him talk about what he's doing since he last saw you. Turns out they had multiple back-to-back matches, so practice was tight and he didn't have time to visit you. He also said the next time he did, it was one of your teenage co-workers manning the counter.

"Oh, Chuck! Yeah, he's pretty shit at board games." You say blankly while you shove another spoonful of food into your mouth.

"I ended up just buying a card game and leaving." Jamie continues and you laugh.

"Sorry, you went all the way there for just that. I go to class on Wednesdays, so I don't have a shift then." The conversation then shifts to your degree and you explain that you plan on becoming a psychologist.

"There is another upside to getting that degree too," Jamie chimes in, and you tilt your head. "You can fuck with someone's head while playing."

"Okay, psychology isn't mind control." Though, you think about it for a second. "But it is pretty close. You’ll be my first victim.” You make your sound more ghostly in that last sentence and Jamie pretends to act terrified and faint.

There is a short silence between the two of you when you realize that most of the rounds are done. You start organizing the next round and once the games start, the other players start going around and rooting for their teammates.

It leaves the area near the bar much more isolated and Jamie lowers his voice. "About that card game I got, it's pretty fun, too."

"Yeah?" You ask as you bring your plate back to the kitchen.

"Yeah. I'd love to take you out and talk about it," you stop in your tracks before turning back to the footballer who adds, “If you want."

You turn around to see Jamie is much closer to you now. It's only then you realize how much taller he was than you, but despite that, you’re not intimidated, especially with him looking so expectantly at you.

It takes a second before your mouth turns into a smile. "I think I'd like that."

Jamie does this small bounce thing on his heels, before trying to tone it down. You only laugh and kiss him on the cheek before heading to the crowd of players. He follows suit and rests his arm on your shoulders.

Some of his teammates notice and start cheering. You look at them confused before deciding to ask Jamie, "Was this all an elaborate scheme to ask me out?"

He shakes his head, "No, 'course not. Was there a deal made after I lost a game to Jan? Possibly," The both of you laugh as you playfully push his head away. You start to accept that this unfairly attractive football player — whom you'll be going on a date soon — can be as much of a nerd as you.

If this is what George meant when he said game nights could get crazy, well, maybe you should’ve given them a chance earlier.

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[bbygirl-aemond]

I'm a not math nerd but I'm a history nerd lol

What percentage did you use with the Velaryons? Because Corlys has enough Targaryen blood for a bastard son of his to get a dragon.

And you're telling me that Jocelyn Baratheon (Rhaenys' mother) is half Velaryon?

(Aemon Targaryen set the precedent for Rhaenyra when he fucked her aunt lol)

Hehe all nerds are welcome! This ask is in reference to this post here

I'll answer your question about Aemon and Jocelyn first: You're totally right! Aemon's parents, Jaehaerys I and Alysanne, are half-siblings of Jocelyn. They have different fathers, but the same mother, Alyssa Velaryon. This also means that Corlys and Rhaenys are related: They share a great-grandfather, Aethan Velaryon!

As for the Velaryons having Targaryen blood: I actually don't believe that Corlys has any Targaryen blood, and I treated the Velaryons as having no Targaryen blood unless explicitly specified (such as Valaena, Laena, and Laenor). There are a few reasons for this, one being that since we know none of the main branch Targaryens for the past many generations married into the Velaryons. Trust me, I checked all of them lol. The most recent source of Targaryen blood Corlys could have possibly had would be if his great-grandfather Daemon Velaryon's unnamed father married a Targaryen women. Even if this was the case, and even if this woman was 100% Targaryen, it would mean Corlys had at most 6.25% Targaryen blood, and his sons at most 3.125%. That's no more than Borros Baratheon, and we didn't see him claiming any dragons.

But namely it's because you know if Corlys had even 0.000001% Targaryen blood this man would have been first in line to claim a dragon when everyone else was trying to. If he was Addam and Alyn's source of Targaryen blood, he had the better chance of claiming a dragon. And he's so obsessed with prestige, legacy, power, and Valyria that there's no way he would have willingly passed up on the chance to claim one. If he had any Targaryen blood, he would have tried to claim Seasmoke at some point after Laenor's death. Or, at a minimum, he would have tried to claim one of the remaining dragons after Addam was successful. But he never did, because he knew he wasn't the source of his sons' Targaryen blood.

So where did Addam and Alyn get their Targaryen heritage? It couldn't have been Corlys, so it must have been their mother, Marilda! We don't get any description of her physical appearance, nor of her parentage, but we know that she was a bastard, and that's important. I do have a theory for her parent, though there are obviously a few candidates of child-bearing age at that time: Saera Targaryen.

Why Saera? Marilda's father is said to be a shipwright, so it makes a little more sense that her Targaryen blood would come from her mother, not her father. There aren't too many Targaryen women who'd be fine with a child out of wedlock, but Saera absolutely would, she's not all gung ho for the patriarchy the way everyone else at the time is. And the timelines add up really well: Saera was noted to have left her home in Lys about a year before Marilda was born, and traveled a while before ending up in Volantis. It's not unthinkable that in her travels she came across a shipwright she took a fancy to. Saera isn't on my original chart, but she's the daughter of Jaehaerys I and Alysanne Targaryen, making her 37.5% Targaryen. By this logic, Marilda would be 18.75% Targaryen, and Addam and Alyn would be 9.375% Targaryen. Compare this to if Corlys was their source of Targaryen blood, where they would be 3.125% Targaryen, a whole three times weaker.

This actually tracks which how the two boys engage with dragons. Only one of the two brothers is actually successful in claiming a dragon. This shows that maybe at this point the ability to claim dragons has begun to slip, which also tracks with how the HotD series has shown that people like Aemond (~19%) and Lucerys (~14%) were able to claim dragons, but struggled to command them fully.

If you take Marilda as a dragonseed, her decision to send Addam and Alyn to claim dragons makes so much more sense. Why would she risk their lives to have them claim a dragon if their own father, with blood twice as strong and such a thirst for legacy, never risked it? It makes much more sense that she knew they had a strong Targaryen claim through herself. She merely took advantage of their Targaryen blood in order to force their deadbeat dad to acknowledge them as his heirs. He didn't care about them being half Velaryon, but he would care about them if they were dragonriding Targaryens.

#ask #asks #answered #hotd meta #hotd #house of the dragon #saera targaryen #corlys velaryon #addam velaryon #alyn velaryon #marilda of hull #jocelyn baratheon #rhaenys targaryen #aemon targaryen #jaehaerys i targaryen #alysanne targaryen #alyssa velaryon #asoaif #asoiaf meta #house velaryon #house targaryen #meta

[belit0]

 I'm hunting you, Izuna - Tobirama's version

No, Betas don't exist in this verse Dark Tobidrama!

Pairing: Alpha Tobirama / Omega Izuna.

We define life in black and white, simple. Well, not for Izuna, since his anatomy decided it would be inappropriate to present a status ruling by the age they normally suit it for.

Now the young Uchiha is in his twenties, and he still doesn't know what he is. People present as Alphas when being nine, in Omegas' case at twelve. As for Izuna, no hint of anything appeared, branding him as the odd case of the Uchiha clan.

It really is frustrating. Everyone talks about heat and love, marks and deep close relationships, bites and rut... Izuna can't get involved in any conversation, as he doesn't know about all that world. Never aware of whether he would be an Alpha or an Omega, he neither bothered to understand their habits. It left him in the middle, where no other case like his exists.

Everyone expected he would present a dominant status. After all, they know Uchihas for the large number of Alphas populating the clan. Only Senju compete with them, having a similar or even higher number of Alphas.

But as the years passed, hopes were disappearing, leaving room for doubt and fear. What would happen if Izuna never presents as anything? What would be his future? His destiny?

Izuna himself had felt pressured by these concerns as a teenager, but growing up, he understood there is much more in life than just two popular branches. While the unknown is scary, it opens an immense window of opportunities.

He had a hard time imagining what people meant by "scent". Many complained about Madara's overpowering aroma, a hostile and frightening fragrance for anyone. He couldn't wrap his head around it, because when he inhaled, his brother smelled of shampoo and clean clothes, as usual since he was a child.

Those special smell everyone described were imperceptible to his senses, and in a way he was grateful for it, for the disgusted face Tobirama makes when Hashirama goes to work while in heat doesn't leave much to be desired.

Izuna can deduce Alphas loathe the sensations other Alphas generate, while whatever an Omega releases into the air, whichever it is, is highly pleasurable. Every time he asks and demands a description, an explanation conducive to a rational concept in his mind, no one can answer him.

No one can explain the physical sensations of a heat, of what it feels like to be marked, of what it feels like to smell someone you are very fond of.

Eventually, the Uchiha understands answers to his questions will not come. He does not belong to that world. The only missing link in the chain, he must learn to deal with it.

Immersed in these depressing thoughts, he finds himself while Aniki and both Senju brothers argue in front of him, the four of them sitting in Hashirama's office while ignoring a monumental amount of work.

He only snaps out of his dark haze of self-pity when Tobirama's voice stops aggressively addressing Madara, changing the subject drastically.

"Do you smell that?"

"You're not getting away from this discussion with a foolish and poor distraction-" Uchiha leader tries simply to be interrupted before finishing.

"I mean it. Don't you sense it?" the white-haired man goes again.

"Your brother is pathetic." Madara resolves addressing Hashirama gravely.

"There's a scent, you futile fool. Inhale."

"I feel nothing, Senju."

"Anija?"

"Scent? Tobi, I can’t smell anything with those suppressants you're forcing me to take."

"Don't you dare put the blame on me with you being the one who neglects keeping track of his rut."

"You're both pathetic." Madara corrects, looking up at the ceiling.

“What does it smell like, exactly?” Izuna tries on a desperate chance to get answers.

“Well... it’s like something... beckoning you. As if someone placed your favorite meal in the next room and you cannot fathom the source of the scent, but you sense it. Need to devour is there.”

“Oh... sure, right, yeah... sounds to me like I don’t want to be you right now, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home.” Younger Uchiha gives up on trying to grasp onto this strange world. He rises from his seat in front of Hashirama’s desk, but as he turns around, Madara’s voice stops him.

“Izuna...?”

“Aniki?”

Following his older brother’s eyes, his vision fixes on the chair he was occupying moments ago, being completely stunned at what he finds there. The seat is covered with a clear liquid, texture that presumes to be sticky from how densely it drips to the floor.

Only then do his hands have the reflex to touch his backside, feeling this wet sensation through his clothes. It is incredible to think he did not notice it until now, and he cannot understand where it came from. His eyes widen in panic at the thought of something being wrong with him, a strange thing happening to his body, when a growl bursts onto the scene.

It sounds animalistic and comes directly from Tobirama’s chest, who is now standing and leaning back on the desk while resting both hands on the surface. Long fangs suddenly grow out of his mouth, his eyes turn completely red and ten claws cover his fingers. A true predator.

An Alpha eyeing its prey.

Common sense seems to have completely abandoned the white-haired man, who cannot speak any words unless it is an incoherent sound. Despite Hashirama’s futile attempts to calm him down, the Senju does not back away, his gaze fixed on Izuna.

It is Madara who leaps from his seat and scoops his younger brother into his arms, carrying him as he jumps out the window and flees at full speed away from the other Alphas.

“Aniki?!”

"Of as many moments you could choose to present your status, you had to do it in a room full of Alphas!"

Madara leaps from rooftop to rooftop in desperation, knowing he must hurry if they want to beat the fastest man in the whole damn village on the run.

Who is precisely chasing them.

Several Alphas raise their noses to the air in order to feel Izuna's scent, which seems to suddenly spread all over the place, and the Uchiha leader knows Konoha is not safe anymore.

Their course changes towards the forest, shooting different fire techniques at their feet, so Tobirama loses time behind them.

"Aniki what's going on?!"

"You're a damn Omega, Otouto. Congratulations! We could toast with some Sake for the news if we didn't have a Senju trying to hunt you down!"

"But how can that be?! Why aren't you affected?!"

Jumping, blowing fire, talking and carrying his younger brother would be a nuisance if Madara didn't have the goal of protecting the precious cargo in his arms.

"Does it look like I have answers?! I don't know, Izuna. Maybe because I''m used to your scent? I don't notice any difference in you!"

"But you're carrying me, even though I can use my legs perfectly!"

"Yeah... alright... but... shut the fuck up and do some thinking!"

"Aniki let go of me! It's my rival! I know how to deal with him, I've been doing it for years!"

"No."

"Aniki!"

"I said no!"

"Aniki let me go!"

"I'm not letting go of my Omega-"

Madara will argue later, having mistaken his words because of the branch which hits him right in the forehead, making him fall unconscious to the ground from the height.

Izuna might feel guilty for leaving his big brother there on the forest floor, but he has a hunter to run from, and there's no time to waste. He quickly stands up, thanking fate that branch wasn't in his path as his legs shoot out at an even faster speed than the Uchiha leader.

In his thighs the stickiness is unpleasant, but he is a Shinobi, and knows he must assert himself in any adversity if he wants to survive.

The Senju was always faster than him, but at least he's not using that stupid technique he recently created, the one he keeps bragging about. Looking slightly back, the black-haired man can swear his hunter is running on all fours, and he's getting closer and closer.

A kunai brushes his cheek and the matter becomes more serious, almost grave, a sense of danger plaguing his body.

Izuna didn't regard this game as unsafe, he thought the Senju was having fun. The Uchiha never saw an Alpha's reaction to a newly presented Omega.

Suddenly, Izuna runs because he really wants to escape, not because he wants to win a competition who thought friendly with Tobirama.

"LEAVE ME ALONE SENJU!"

The shout is almost desperate, and the only reply is growls sounding nearer and nearer.

Hours ago, the Uchiha was not for this world, simply a mistake. Now, by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, he is about to lose everything he earned minutes ago.

He is not ready for that.

A seal sticks on his clothes and his entire body is paralyzed, making him fall hard to the ground. All he can do is insult his hunter as the latter walks menacingly towards him, enjoying the sight of his captured prey.

"Who would have thought... Uchiha Izuna an Omega..."

"Let go of me now and I might not cut your head off, Senju!"

Though his words are laced with venom, fear runs deep under his skin, anxiety whispering in his ear that it is over.

"Why should I spare you when it cost me trouble to hunt you down, Omega?"

"Don't call me that, I have a name!"

And what the Uchiha certainly didn't expect is the slap he receives at that retort. His face turns from the impact and Tobirama's hand mark is clear on his white skin.

"We'll work on your fashions and mannerisms. Nothing beyond fixing, Omega. We shall now proceed to that which concerns us."

The Senju's fangs glint impeccably as he crouches down beside Izuna, leaning over him and going right for his neck. The Uchiha knows what's coming, he's seen too many people bitten to not understand.

"WA-IT! WA-AIT! How... how come you reacted... so fast?! to what happened in your brother's office?!"

Talking won't buy him much time, but if only Madara would wake up and show at the right moment....

"It's simple, Uchiha. Your older brother always bears a scent far too sweet to be his own. It took me a while to deduce it was yours, but it became clear as you made a mess of your seat."

"Ah... ah... and how-"

"Enough, Izuna. I know you too well as to play your games."

Is the last thing he hears as Tobirama closes on him, digging his fangs in.

That day Izuna loses many things, but gains one. One he never asked for and never wanted.

An Alpha.

#tobiizu #tobirama x izuna #izuna x tobirama #uchiha izuna x senju tobirama #izuna uchiha x tobirama senju #tobirama senju x izuna uchiha #senju tobirama x uchiha izuna #naruto #uchiha izuna #izuna #izuna uchiha #senju tobirama #tobirama senju #tobirama #uchiha clan #abo au

[mariana-oconnor]

The Five Orange Pips pt 1

the adventure of the Paradol Chamber, of the Amateur Mendicant Society, who held a luxurious club in the lower vault of a furniture warehouse, of the facts connected with the loss of the British bark Sophy Anderson, of the singular adventures of the Grice Patersons in the island of Uffa, and finally of the Camberwell poisoning case

Another round of 'look at all the fun cases I won't be talking about today 🤣. I feel like the Amateur Mendicant Society is a bit like Neville St Clair, as mendicant means beggar, so it feels like a group of people who dress up as beggars for the fun of it. Paradol is apparently a chemical found in peppers and ginger that makes it spicy, but I have no indication of when that chemical was first named, so whotf knows what that was about.

It was in the latter days of September, and the equinoctial gales had set in with exceptional violence. All day the wind had screamed and the rain had beaten against the windows, so that even here in the heart of great, hand-made London we were forced to raise our minds for the instant from the routine of life and to recognize the presence of those great elemental forces which shriek at mankind through the bars of his civilization, like untamed beasts in a cage.

I love this description. It's so extra. Also the phrase 'equinoctial gales' is lovely. Watson, you should have taken up poetry.

My wife was on a visit to her mother's, and for a few days I was a dweller once more in my old quarters at Baker Street.

Watson can't be left alone for more than a day at a time. Mary had to ask Sherlock to Watson-sit for her as she went to see her 'mother' *winkwink*. He needs enrichment in his enclosure.

He stretched out his long arm to turn the lamp away from himself and towards the vacant chair upon which a newcomer must sit.

Interrogation lighting! WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?!

"You have come up from the south-west, I see." "Yes, from Horsham." "That clay and chalk mixture which I see upon your toe caps is quite distinctive." "I have come for advice."

Sorry, Holmes. This guy does not gaf about your creepy knowledge of clay and chalk mixes.

AH... hello racism. All the racism... So much racism. I mean, I know the story so yeah... but dear god if ever there were a literary character who deserved to die, it's this one. Fuuuuuck Elias Openshaw.

'My God, my God, my sins have overtaken me!'

The world's tiniest violin was unable to perform because it did not give a fuck.

" 'I wish you, John,' said my uncle, 'to witness my will. I leave my estate, with all its advantages and all its disadvantages, to my brother, your father, whence it will, no doubt, descend to you. If you can enjoy it in peace, well and good! If you find you cannot, take my advice, my boy, and leave it to your deadliest enemy."

Well that's one way to say you always hated your sibling. And also to tell your nephew you hate him too. This guy is the absolute worst in so many ways. Like he just keeps piling on more reasons that he's the worst onto the already huge steaming pile. Yes, the people hunting him are even worse, but he's still just a terrible terrible person.

We found him, when we went to search for him, face downward in a little green-scummed pool, which lay at the foot of the garden.

A fitting place for him to be.

No, I will not be feeling any sorrow at his passing.

I'm sorry that his brother's getting the same treatment, though. He doesn't seem like the most pleasant person in the world, but the fact he doesn't know what the initials stand for already puts him head and shoulders above his dead brother.

The attitude of his son to Elias and his war record and postwar activity doesn't exactly indicate that the pair of them are not-racist, though. But they don't appear to have actively murdered anybody or fought in order to perpetuate slavery, so... the bar is low. The bar is really really low on this one. Is there somewhere lower than the centre of the Earth's core?

And the threat of death for something they know nothing about... which, why did Elias not tell people what the fuck was going on? Why did he not...? Well, we'll get onto that bit. Just fuck Elias. Really, truly, Fuck Elias Openshaw.

#The Five Orange Pips #Letters from Watson #I know what happens later might indicate some sort of remorse on Elias' behalf #but if he was truly remorseful #well I guess I'll get into that later

[linalilia]

[meet the prisoners!] prisoner 008: maruyama yurika

(edit: .. i forgot about her height. i'm sorry yurika i have to edit your profile AGAIN)

idk if anyone noticed, but i DID post her profile but then i quickly deleted it because i realized.. that i actually don't like her crime that much. idk, i really thought that the crime i originally planned for her was too weird and i thought that it would be "too much" compared to the other characters' murders.

thankfully, i already had other crime ideas for her (and all the other prisoners) so i didn't have to think too much about it and i actually like her new crime more, so i don't regret changing some stuff about her. but what i do regret is that i had to rewrite her mv because the original one had too many hints to her "old crime". i had to rewrite her whole profile actually.

General info:

Name: Maruyama Yurika (丸山優梨香) (her last name means "circle" and "mountain" and her first name means "kindness, gentleness", "pear" and "fragrance")

Age: 21 y/o

Gender: Female

Status: Prisoner 008

Birthday: October 10 (Libra)

Blood type: A

Height: 165 cm

Image color: #FF8484

Occupation: University student and a maid cafe worker

Personality: Yurika is a kind and polite young woman who loves helping others and who is always there to support them or cheer them up when they're feeling down. She tries really hard to hide the fact that she's actually a huge otaku, but she's not that good at it because she still keeps making references to her favorite manga/anime/games. Even though a lot of people tend to take advantage of her naivety and innocence, she's actually much scarier than she appears. When it comes to her crime, she tries to avoid the topic and she claims that she did it out of self-defense and that she's not lying. You can see the anger in her eyes when she talks about her crime though, so.. it's hard to say if she really regrets committing her crime. What she did after her crime is also a big mystery and the fact that she starts shaking whenever someone raises that topic and she keeps saying "I had to do it, I had to do it, I had to do it".. makes others worry about her a lot.

MV Info:

Which canon Milgram song she would cover: Umbilical. It fits her vibe and her personality a lot!

Which DECO*27 song she would cover: Poison Apple.

If she could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: Kyu-kurarin by Iyowa.

Her MV description:

The first half of her MV would have bright colors like pink, orange and yellow, but they wouldn't be as bright as Kei or Eiko's MV colors. Later those colors would change to darker shades of green and blue.

The first half of her MV would actually have that 90's anime art style and it would be very cute and colorful. We can see Yurika getting ready for work, she's smiling and singing something and we can also see that her room is full of anime/game merch and we can see post-it notes everywhere that say things like "You can do it!" or "Let's hope today will be better than yesterday!". She finally leaves the house and the MV takes place in a maid cafe now. We can see her talking to the customers, smiling, serving food and being the cute maid that she has to be. She's also friends with her coworkers too and she seems to be the most popular maid here. Everything is fine.. but also it feels like everything is too peaceful.

Some time passes and Yurika can go home now, but right as she leaves, the colors suddenly change and become much darker and the art style changes to the usual Milgram MV art style too. However, now the MV has this weird effect, like we're watching an old tape right now. Yurika has a bad feeling and she keeps looking around as she walks home. But then, suddenly, the POV changes and we can see Yurika running away.. from us. She trips and falls and everything goes black for a second, but then we can see her lying on the ground, her clothes is torn and her hair is a mess now. It looks like we're pointing at her and laughing, but if you look closer, you can notice two right hands pointing at her, it's almost like she was attacked by two people.

Then, we can see Yurika slowly getting up and looking right at us. She stands like that for a moment and then the MV gets more surreal: it doesn't look like we're watching a video, it's like we're just watching completely different scenes that are not connected in any way. The POV is also different depending on the scene: we can see her cutting someone's hair in one scene and we can see her beating someone with a pipe, but most of the time we see everything right through her victim(s)'s eyes. We keep watching her torture someone, but you can also notice that now she is actually wearing gloves in some scenes. The colors become even darker and it's almost impossible to see what's going on, but we still can see Yurika talking to someone standing next to her and then looking at us and the very last scene shows her fully covered in blood, talking to someone again and then smiling and doing a peace sign.

It turns out that we really were watching her do all of that and right when the TV turns off and we get up, Yurika walks closer to us, smiles and gives us a hug. The MV ends.

Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"Hello! My name is Maruyama Yurika! Hm? Y-you want to know what I do for a living? Uh.. Well, I'm still a university student, but also I work at a maid cafe! Yes, as a waitress. So don't be shy, you can always ask me for help, master~.. Ugh, I'm so tired of saying stuff like that."

"I HATE IT! I HATE EVERYTHING! I'M SO TIRED OF EVERYTHING, IT'S ALL SO TIRING AND OVERWHELMING AND STRESSFUL AND- W-wait, what are you two doing here?.."

Trivia:

She had two victims and murder wasn't her only crime. She also seems more worried about what she did after her crime and not the actual murder.

(Edited after posting her VD) She doesn't want to be voted guilty because of her huge fear of death and because she's tired of bad things happening to her all the time.

She's close with all the female prisoners (at least she thinks so), especially with Eiko and Prisoner 010. Her relationship with the male prisoners is.. not as good and she prefers to avoid them most of the time. If you ask her which male prisoner she likes the most, she will try to change the topic.

Yes, Kei tried to flirt with her, he already thought she was attractive and after he found out about her job, he became even more interested, but for some reason he got very scared and after that he completely stopped talking to Yurika. Whenever he has to talk to her, he tries to run away or he asks someone else to do it for him.

If Naomi is the "mother figure" for other prisoners, Yurika is like their "big sister figure", even though she's not the oldest prisoner and she's still younger than Kei, Shun and Eiko. Younger prisoners just trust her more than those three, even if some of them (like Akio or Asahi) try to deny it.

It's hard to describe Asahi and Yurika's theme with one word, but if I had to, it would most likely be "hunger" or "not feeling satisfied", to be more exact. I actually tried to assign deadly sins to all of my prisoner OCs and both Asahi and Yurika got a mix of Gluttony and Greed, but what makes this theme really interesting is that both of them are actually on the opposite ends of the spectrum: Asahi comes from a rich family and he was very spoiled, but he still wanted more even though he didn't even know what he wants, meanwhile Yurika struggled financially before arriving here and she regretted getting a job at a maid cafe, because she wasn't paid that well and she thought that the customers were annoying and that's why she obviously wasn't satisfied with her life. Her original MV also showed her killing someone while eating/drinking with them and Asahi's murder happened while he was eating dinner with someone (at least according to his MV). Also, interestingly, her new crime actually sounds more like "Greed" meanwhile Asahi's crime still sounds like a mix of Greed and Gluttony.

Yurika and Asahi's backstories are actually "reverse" versions of each other, and it's not just about Asahi being a rich kid and Yurika having problems with money. But they're also much more similar than you would think.

#i like her character even more now HER NEW CRIME JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE #but also note to self: please have a copy of the profile just in case if you suddenly decide to change something again #and as i said in the original post i can talk more about the deadly sins part #milgram #milgram oc #linagram

[dxmedstudent]

Dx, I am feeling increasingly exasperated with online dating. I'm personally not looking for hook ups and would really like to find something real. Were there any apps/websites where you found people seemed a bit more serious about things? Also any advice generally on how to approach things?

Hey! Sure, I'll do my best :) I just realised that I'm not sure of your gender or the gender/s of people you are looking to meet - bear in mind that my advice is coming from a heteroish woman who was meeting men, but I hope it can be useful regardless! I personally used match.com (which has an app). I got into online dating in my 30s because by that point I'd long realised that if I was going to meet someone via friends I already would have done it, and by that age most people you work with are either happily coupled up, or single for very good reasons. I mostly interacted with men in their mid to late 30s, and to be fair, all the guys I went on dates with seemed serious. I do feel that my friends who used free services like tinder or OKC got more dick pics (and my bi friend got a lot of people looking for a unicorn, but I digress!), though I know friends who met their partner through bumble, POF or other services, too. I picked it because some of my friends had had success with it, it's one of the bigger dating apps so there were potentially more people. And because it was a paid service. See, I reckoned that when people are paying to use a service, they are more likely to be taking things seriously because they are putting in some money and effort to do it. I thought this would also make guys behave because you're less likely to send dick pics if your paid membership is going to get suspended. And I think I was right about that. That's also part of the reason I only engaged guys who had properly filled in their profile, including writing a description of themselves and their interests. I felt that if a guy can't be bothered to write a paragraph about himself, he isn't really putting in any effort into finding someone serious. Ignore people whose patter focuses on your looks. My profile had lots of hooks for people to start conversations with, and plenty of guys wrote charming, well thought out messages, including my now fiance DxDude. I absolutely didn't engage with guys who ignored my profile and wrote me generic "hey your hot" messages or copy pasted intro messages because, well... I had zero faith that they engaged with my profile beyond the picture, and because I had more than enough people writing in who did make some semblance of effort. I figured that the people who are out to just hook up are a lot less likely to make any genuine effort. I would say that most of the time, if a guy didn't have a picture up or didn't have a profile up and I did have a connversation with him, he didn't appear as invested, so I'd pass that on as a suggestion. Because I knew that I'd often be busy and that messaging or phone calls would be key to any budding relationship with me, I also refused to continue talking to guys who just couldn't hold a conversation. If he's not invested enough to ask a few questions about what you like and how you're doing, then he's not going to put in the effort for a relationship.

Obviously nobody is emotionally invested during the early date stage, but they should feel polite and engaged - like someone who wants to get to know you. My conversations with DxDude felt easy from the start - we were sharing book and film recommendations and talking about our hobbies (especially the shared ones!) and weird facts about our jobs, and that easy banter like we've always been best friends never really went away. What I'm saying is that whilst it's always a little weird meeting new people, that doesn't mean it'll be awkward. I had plenty of dates with guys that went well (lack of chemistry aside), so don't force it if it just feels wrong. I also declined guys who asked for last minute dates for the same evening (literally, had a guy who kept asking me at like 5pm whether I'd like our first date to be like 8pm the same day - dude, you haven't even met me, where do you get the gall to treat me like a booty call?). If a guy ghosted me mid convo, that was it, he was dead to me. Occasionally I'd have guys crawl back MONTHS later, acting as if nothing had happened - absolutely do not entertain anyone who doesn't treat you as a polite priority. Life happens, and people can genuinely rearrange, but if anyone is making you feel fobbed off, then absolutely listen to your gut. So I'd say: engage earnestly. Look for people who seem to put time, effort and consideration in, and who genuinely seem to have similar interests. And be absolutely ruthless if you feel people are being half-assed with you. The hard thing is, a lot of people fib about what they want - I imagine a chunk of people on dating sites say they want to date or look for marriage but they really want nothing of the sort, they just know that's most likely to get them into someone else's pants. So I would watch how people act, not just what they say. And if you're not sure, I'd raise it early on with them. The right time is to sleep with someone depends on the person involved - for some people it's the first date, for others it's weeks or months down the line, for others it may be after engagement or marriage. The kind of person worth being with won't care if you slept with them 2 dates or 2 months in. But I would say don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do. Remember that sex is just sex - it doesn't promise that things will work out or that the other person will love you or want a relationship with you. If you need it to be special, then have sex when you feel secure. If it's just sex for you, have sex whenever you want :) I have friends who usually have sex on the first date, and it hasn't stopped them forming relationships after those dates. Just remember to use protection, and get regular STI checks if you're having fun with different people :) And have a conversation about exclusivity and if it's heading towards being a relationship early - again, there's no one right time to do it, but you want to have that conversation when you know you want a relationship with that person, and before you're very far along or very emotionally involved.

I hope this helps! More than happy for others to chip in.

#dx dates

[spockfan]

Alright, here is the next part of my scene breakdown for the TOS episode, "This Side of Paradise."

In the previous post, we have one awkward introductory meeting scene where at one point almost no one is looking at the same person and Captain Kirk whose facial expression directed at Leila Kalomi goes from :) to >:( in under 30 seconds. During this, it should be noted that Leila had done nothing except stare at Spock prettily. It should also be pointed out that Spock does not react as he typically would when addressed, with him remaining silent and staring right back at Leila rather intently that Kirk had to be the one to break the moment.

We're not gonna focus on whatever meaning Spock and Leila's interactions have in these posts primarily because, to me, Spock's character arc here is more focused on identity and realizations borne from his experience rather than anything romantic even if it was framed that way (maybe for another post).

Kirk, on the other hand, whether he himself is aware or not, acts and reacts in ways that highlight how different he behaves in situations involving Spock from anyone else. This is evident in the next few scenes.

The landing team proceeds with their inspection of the settlement. Spock gets exposed to the spores and abandons his duties to run off with Leila. Kirk contacts Spock when he realizes that he hasn't heard from him in a while.

During the call, Spock ignores Kirk and makes it clear to him that he's kinda being a bother. While Spock is not exactly the very model of following orders and procedure, he is never seen dismissive of Kirk. It should have been quite obvious, not just to the audience, that he isn't acting like himself. Bones even points this out right after. So one would expect Kirk to ask him if he was ok or something but no. He instead gets mad and snaps at Spock.

It was so uncharacteristic that even Bones looked more shocked at him than at Spock. To be clear, it's not him getting mad that's odd. It's him getting mad without acknowledging that anything was strange at all. That it's Bones who has to bring it up because he doesn't.

This is even stranger because of what he says next in response to Spock's strange behavior being pointed out, "I thought you said you might like him if he mellowed a little." Which implies the following: he and Bones have conversations about Spock being a hardass, and he considers the weird behavior as Spock "mellowing a little" -- uncharacteristic but not necessarily unnatural.

But why would he think that when it's clear that Spock was not acting normally? Does he suspect there's a natural reason why Spock would "mellow a little"?

That it would take Bones suggesting that Spock might be in trouble before he gets contemplative and maybe suspicious about it? Is it because he suspects they were involved romantically and he knows that romantic involvement could drive a person to do things that they don't normally do? Does he feel that whatever suspicions he has about Leila and Spock now had weight? Why does this matter? Does it matter?

He accepts the suggestion that there might be trouble. He then passes on the responsibility for the landing party detail to Bones and goes off to find Spock.

Then we have this scene.... I can't emphasize enough how much I'm obsessed about this. You'll need to hear the audio to truly appreciate it. Since I can't get enough of it anyway, let's do a break down.

Kirk finds Spock's communicator on the ground, abandoned. Before he can make assumptions or look around, Sulu points towards the distance and we hear Spock's laughter. This should be the first time any of them is hearing Spock laugh out loud at least not in any strange circumstance they are aware of.

We see from afar, as the jovial music plays, what appears to be Spock hanging from a tree along with Leila who is standing nearby.

We cut back to the search party. Sulu and the blue shirt look sort of amazed. Kirk's face is harder to describe. He takes a couple of steps forward as they all try to make sense of what they're seeing.

We cut back to Spock and Leila, zoomed in, laughing, being sweet, holding hands, all smiles and playfulness. 

Kirk looks at a lost--that's the closest description I have without assuming anything. His hold on the communicator weakens that the lid closes off. He croaks out Spock's name. Clears his throat. Mentions Spock's name again but formally and with more force.

He is too far though so he couldn't have done that to grab Spock's attention. It was either to regain his composure in front his subordinates or to fortify himself or maybe both.

The way this scene was pieced together... I don't know what the expected take away was. If not Kirk's heart breaking...

This bit is purely supposition on my part but it does seem a bit harder to come up with other reasons without being more contrived. It would seem as though Kirk does believe that Spock is frolicking by choice and he gets angry jealous that unlike the other instances in previous episodes where Spock acts questionably, he gets immediately upset rather than question things.

Still have several scenes to go. Maybe won't be as long as this one if people are still interested and I didn't end up boring you guys. :)

#spock #star trek #spirk #jim kirk #star trek tos #leonard mccoy #s'chn t'gai spock #james t kirk #k/s #kirk/spock #meta #this side of paradise #This Side of Paradise Meta #my-posts

[riddlecrux]

What is past is present: Azriel and Elain, Helion and Lady of Autumn Court

This post is going to be a long one. I will be talking about parallels between Helion - Lady of Autumn Court - Beron and Azriel - Elain - Lucien situation. How their relationships mirror each other, how the blood duel mentioned in ACOSF and ACOWAR will come to an end, but also how the first triangle was used as a plot device in ACOWAR. I believe it is not a coincidence that SJM decided to put these scenes and histories in the same book with such a short span of time passing between things happening on the pages of their story. I would like to say that this post is a pro Elriel meta, so if they are not your cup of tea please scroll past this. Many thanks to Gardening Tools, especially @silverlinedeyes !

We are going to start with the Lady of Autumn Court and the scene at the High Lord’s council. She is there with her husband, Beron and as the conversation surrounding Hybern increases in intensity, we are presented with a bit of background information about the Lady.

Lady of the Autumn Court had 2 sisters that died during Hybern's soldiers' attack. We got to see another family of three sisters, two of them dying for their sister. What's even more important is a mention of Hybern's war camps and how it's very unlikely for anyone to survive their time there.

Here Beron taunts Kallias by telling his mate that Hybern and his people probably torture and abuse women before killing them. (Please be sure to remember that because we're going to go back to this notion later in this post.)

Another big insight about Lady's life and this particular accident comes from no one else but Helion.

Few things that are very important to mention: - she had already given birth to a few of her children - Hybern directly attacked the estate they were in - her sisters let her run away because they loved her - she tried to fight and stay with them till they convinced her to run - the beasts sent by Hybern tailed her and finally cornered her in a trap

What Feyre says in this particular scene - about Helion knowing too many details holds great importance for the further quotes. We also get to know that, in fact, it was Helion who rescued the Lady - not only saved but found her. The setup, the build-up and the fact that it wasn't her "husband" that came for her are the main things I wish to bring attention to, as we are going to analyze different scenes from the same book with this knowledge.

He could have ended it differently, yet he didn't. Why? The question seems to be imprinted in Feyre's mind as she tries to connect the dots and points she was given, just like us readers. I do believe that what we are being presented with is the notion of the mating bond. Helion's rage at Lady's attack projects typical mate behavior - such as unnecessary violence against the ones who dared to hurt their mate. It also goes with the information of him finding her - how was that possible? Her husband wasn't there, it was Helion who essentially knew that something was wrong. How? Well, by applying the mating bond in this picture we can easily deduct few things: Helion probably felt her distraught through the bond, was able to locate her and save her.

Another insight given by Helion is about Lady's relationship with Beron. Not only it gives us information about her young age (cue to Rhysand's mother and how her young age was also brought up as something very disturbing and not in favour of some mating bonds), but also we get to know that her marriage was arranged. Just like the reader, Feyre is left with these very personal insights and detailed descriptions - so she presses Helion more, to speak, to see if her suspicions are correct.

Another person jumps into the conversation and it is Mor who hands the information of a possible romance between Lady and Helion. We learn that both of them met at an equinox ball before she was proposed with an arranged marriage with Beron. Feyre's curiosity is evident in the way she perks up at Mor's words. Helion on the other hand counter-attacks and provides us with the political background of the story. The Lady was basically left without a choice when it came to her love life.

Helion saved Beron's wife during the war. And Beron didn't know and still doesn't have an idea that it was Helion who saved the Lady.

Feyre tries to fish for more information - and Helion seems to be very reluctant to answer her question about his relationship with the Lady. It makes us think that, in fact, their relationship was somehow forbidden, being kept in secret. Moreover, what's even more interesting is the fact that we suddenly have a shift of focus on another person - Azriel. We are deliberately made aware of the fact that Azriel is listening to this important conversation.

We are starting to see Helion becoming slightly less humorous - Feyre can spot the difference between his usual self and the way he delivers his question. It suggests that the relationship and potential mating bond is a very touchy subject for him.

Their forbidden relationship went on for decades. They were secret lovers till Beron found about them. We see that contrast between the Lady with Helion - all brightness and smiles, Lady with Beron - withdrawn, timid, scared.

I clenched my teeth. “If you were her lover, why didn’t you stop it?” The wrong thing to say. Utterly wrong, by the dark fury that rippled across Helion’s face. “Beron is a High Lord, and she is his wife, mother of his brood. She chose to stay. Chose. And with the protocols and rules, Lady, you will find that most situations like the one you were in do not end well for those who interfere.”

Helion reacts with anger at Feyre's inquiry about his lack of participation in the case of the Lady's wellbeing. "Dark fury rippling across Helion's face" is also an interesting word choice. Again we are reminded that their romance was meant to end that way due to the notions of choice and politics.

“Beron never called you out for it?” “To publicly do so would be to admit that his possession made a fool of him. So we continue our little dance, these centuries later.” I somehow doubted that beneath that roguish charm and irreverence, Helion felt it was a dance at all.

Helion reminds us about politics that bind different Courts - in this case, we can easily see that the matter of choice in this example ends with Lady choosing duty over love. It also supplies us with an idea that if Helion would have wanted to fight for Lady he would need to participate in a blood duel. Yet, the Lady chose Beron - we don't know why Helion probably was left alone with the same question. However, by analyzing this situation I believe that Lady knew about the possibility of a blood duel happening she didn't want her potential mate to be hurt. So, in the end, she opted for a life in a loveless marriage with Beron. Furthermore, we have Rhysand and Feyre coming to the conclusion that Lucien is Helion's son - and he is the fruit of the loving relationship between Helion and the Lady.

What does this mean, though? Nothing—ultimately nothing. Other than the fact that Lucien might be Helion’s sole heir. And that … it changed nothing in this war. Especially not with Lucien on the continent, hunting that enchanted queen. A bird of flame … and a lord of fire. I wondered if they’d found each other yet.

The usage of the word "this war" is not a coincidence, as well as Rhysand's poor prediction of the future. Because as we know, right now - it changes a lot. Elain being his mate bounds him to the Night Court, so losing that relationship puts the Court at risk. Especially now, when Lucien doesn't know that Helion is his father. Another very important addition is the part about Lucien and Vassa. Feyre has prophetic tendencies and her thoughts about both Vassa and Lucien always focus on their... relationship. Not to mention that it was brought up after that whole conversation with Helion. With all these things above, I would like to move on to Elriel parallels. Starting with the Cauldron kidnapping Elain. Please bear in mind that this scene happens after the meeting with Helion, after learning about the story of Lady's and Helion's romance.

But Azriel asked softly, “What about Elain?”

The one who noticed that Elain was absent was Azriel, we can speculate whatever it was his intuition, his shadows, or perhaps some kind of feeling that made him aware of her absence. Yet, it's not a coincidence that another male character, the one who doesn't have an official mate is the only one who either felt/realized that she was taken. That's the first parallel I would love to bring to your attention - Helion was the one who found and rescued the Lady. Now, the situation is almost identical - Hybern attacks via Cauldron takes Elain to the war camps.

And what Hybern would do to Elain, might already be doing— From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

Azriel reacts with rage, a silent debate raging within him. He is battling something deep inside him, which is obstructed from the reader's point of view. I wonder why? He is the one who swears to find her and rescue her. Also, worth mentioning how Feyre seems to realize the graveness of the situation - as if she can remember the conversation she had with Helion about what happened with sisters of the Lady of Autumn Court. War camps. Nobody would walk away from them alive.

We looked to Rhys, to Cassian and Nesta, to Mor—right as she appeared, breathless, between the tent flaps. Her eyes went to me, then the shadowsinger, and flared with shock and fear—

In this scene we also have Mor. Mor was present during Helion's conversation and gave input about their love and forbidden relationship. Mor that possess the power of Truth. Is it possible that Mor knew about the mating bond between Helion and the Lady? Is it possible that Mor knows about the truth of the mating bond between Lucien and Elain? Does Mor know about the potential mating bond between Azriel and Elain? There are so many questions and we don't get an answer. Mor keeps secrets, which is understandable yet it provides a whole new aspect of Mor being the one who realizes what's happening. (Not to mention that Mor is always present when Elain is with Lucien, assessing them.)

Screaming. A shadow gripped my shoulder, reminding me not to run. Ianthe would not run—would not show alarm. My mouth went dry as that scream sounded again. I couldn’t bear it—to let it go on, to see what was being done— Azriel’s shadow-hand grasped my own, tugging me closer. His rage rippled off his invisible form.

It is Azriel who reacts once again with - rage. At the thought of Elain being tortured, abused, or being killed. Feyre can't stomach the idea of what is happening to her sister in this war camp.

I could feel Jurian’s smile against my ear. “She’s in his tent. Chained with steel and a little spell from his favorite book.” Shit. Shit. Perhaps I should have gotten Helion, who could break almost any—

The mention of Helion is such a beautiful parallel. We, as readers, are amidst a rescue mission. A situation that was very similarly described few chapters before, a situation in which it was Helion in Azriel's shoes. In the past it was - Helion and Lady, here in the "future" we have - Azriel and Elain. The same circumstances - Hybern attack/Hybern powers, three sisters, and the only one is targeted, a savior that isn't husband/mate finding and rescuing the girl.

Azriel gently removed the gag from her mouth. “Are you hurt?” She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. “You came for me.” The shadowsinger only inclined his head.

I could write a whole meta about this quote because it's ridden with such enormous parallels and foreshadowing. Let's start with the simplest one, which is the word "devour". It has very strong connections to physicality, it basically means that Elain greedily took him in, he was her focal point at that moment. Also, the following addition of her not quite believing that, in fact, it is Azriel who arrived before her - she hadn't expected him to rescue her and you may be wondering why? It all beautifully goes with the idea of two mates/true mates theories - what is making me say this with so much certainty? Well, first of all, ACOWAR is full of descriptions of how a healthy mating bond works, for example, Feysand one. It's a bridge connecting two souls through which our emotions, thoughts can be perceived for the other person.

Find me, find me, find me, I tried shouting down that bond. But my mate’s wry voice didn’t answer. There was only the roaring void.

This happens at the begging of ACOWAR when Feyre tries to communicate with Rhysand through their mating bond. I find it very interesting that throughout the whole book the trope of "finding your true love, significant other" is very persistent. This brings me back to the theory that both Azriel and Helion heard their mates' cries of help and that's how they were able to rescue them and find them. In addition to that Elain's "you came for me" is striking so many questions. What does she mean? Why is she so docile and peaceful? As if she somehow had an idea that someone will come for her - did she perhaps inwardly call through the mating bond? This, again, brings us to another parallel - Beron doesn't know that it was Helion who rescued the Lady. Lucien doesn't know that it was Azriel who saved Elain - which, we really don't know if he even felt/knew that something has happened.

The hounds closed in, two breaking away—to cut to the side. To herd us. For that was a cliff at the other edge of the camp. A cliff with a very, very long drop, and unforgiving river below.

I'm bringing this up because the setting is oddly familiar with the run of Lady of Autumn's one. The isolated place, a trap etc.

Azriel’s roar echoed off the rocks as the hound slammed into him, dragging those shredding talons down his spine, his wings— The girl screamed, but Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast’s face. Its eye. Another. Another. It bellowed, and Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home. With a yelp of pain, it released its claws—and plunged into the ravine.

Parallel on parallel. We have Hybern's beasts, we have a similar setting again and fight. What is different, however, is that in Helion's case it was solely him that destroyed beasts while rescuing the Lady. Here, however, it is Elain that fights against beasts - she who had never trained, she who is a gardener is fighting against evil. She is kicking as the beasts hurt Azriel. She took the initiative and killed the beast at that moment when they previously hurt Azriel. Also, the most beautiful comparison in my opinion is the fact that after Elain knocks the beast it falls down the ravine, dying. It is somehow very symbolic that Elain kills the beast that falls into the ravine, whereas Lady of Autumn is stuck in the ravine as beasts approach her and it is the moment when Helion saves her.

The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. He dripped blood behind him the entire time—a trickle compared to the torrent that should be leaking out.

After that intense battle, they arrive in the safety, but Azriel still holds on Elain even if he himself is bleeding all over the place.

Rhys lunged for Azriel, taking Elain from him and gently setting my sister down. Azriel rasped, swaying on his feet, “We need Helion to get these chains off her.” Yet Elain didn’t seem to notice them as she rose up on her toes and kissed the shadowsinger’s cheek.

Another mention of Helion in that very parallel setting. He was very present during the rescue mission, which is a neat way of showering the audience with foreshadowing. If I wanted to indulge even more in the symbolism of this scene, I would point out that the chains on Elain are very symbolic as well. They could either mean the restrain of her powers, but also the chains of the "lack of freedom", "lack of choice". Being freed by both Azriel and Helion is something that I believe is very important to remember while waiting for the next book. Because even if Elain is a mirror to Lady - Elain will change the course of her story. Elain is going to choose love over duty, she will choose Azriel - which ends with them discovering that, in fact, the bond was there from the beginning. Helion getting rid of those chains is also a metaphor for what is to come. He will break Lady's chains by fighting with Beron during the blood duel. In this timeline, Azriel and Elain are symbolism of healthy love, mating bond, freedom of choice. Lucien doesn't mirror Beron, because he himself doesn't want to be with Elain since both of them don't feel comfortable with each other, they are making each other miserable. Not to mention the fact that their mating bond is... very weak and through the ACOWAR and ACOSF we see that it is different from the true mating bonds that are present in the universe. Azriel-Elain-Lucien triangle will break the past wheel of unhappiness and forced love, changing it by their own rules of free choice. As for Helion-Lady-Beron love story, if I may be so bold, the blood duel is going to happen and Beron will die - freeing Lady and Helion from him and politics that kept them away. If you are still not sure if these two situations are foreshadowing I would love to put this quote as the ending of this very long meta.

Azriel shrugged. “We—Rhys, Cass, and I—will occasionally remind each other that what we think to be our greatest weakness can sometimes be our biggest strength. And that the most unlikely person can alter the course of history.”

And as you can guess, that very unlikely person who altered the course of history in ACOWAR was Elain when she killed King of Hybern.

#elriel #elain x azriel #elain and azriel #elriel meta #pro elain archeron #elriel acowar #acowar meta

[animereaderinsertwriter]

Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV (in progress)

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?

Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.

Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.

Ao3 link here

Part I

A lamb in a den of lions, he thought, watching the newcomer as she settled in, ordering whiskey neat. A fool, for sure.

A fool she may be, perhaps, but even fools could be dangerous. Eren had known that the young woman was a Hunter from the moment she entered the bar (everyone else had, too) but something told Eren that she was hardly cut from the same cloth as the average Bane of Creatures. There was something in her movements— a predatory grace in her stride, perhaps, or a stiff, straight posture, with muscles tensed and ready for action— that betrayed her power to him; but for all that, she really was lovely, and the image of a rabbit caught in a patch of bramble came to mind whenever he looked at her.

Sitting in a corner, drinking his B-neg, he watched the woman as she sipped her drink, checking over her shoulder now and then. She was wary— as anyone with good sense would be— but she didn't appear frightened, and Eren's curiosity was piqued. It wasn't every day that someone so bold happened across his path, and it became harder and harder for him to resist the urge to approach her.

Eventually, Eren gave in to his curiosity— he never had been very good at or even particularly fond of restraining himself— and when he came silently up behind her, the newcomer didn't even notice his presence until he murmured a greeting close to her ear.

"Hello, little love," he said, and she startled in her seat. "Are you lost?"

She turned around then, her eyes big and bright in the dim lighting of the bar, but by the time she managed to look at the spot where Eren would have been, he was already seated on the barstool beside her. Eventually, though, her eyes found his, and when their gazes met, Eren was amused to find no fear in her visage.

"Far from it," she told him, turning her body towards him. "I am precisely where I mean to be."

Eren blinked, nonplussed.

"Curious," he said, leaning forward so that she could see the sharpness of his teeth as he spoke. "Do you fancy yourself a wolf among sheep, little Hunter? Did you really not think we would know you for what you are the moment you crossed the threshold of this place?"

Any normal, human ear would have missed the way her heart leapt in her chest, but Eren missed nothing. The fear he had hoped to inspire in her was present after all, but her face never moved from its impenetrable mask— an affectation that was somehow both soft and steely at once.

"That's not what I'm here for," she told him, widening the distance between her knees as she readjusted on the stool. "I'm here to discover the truth."

The truth— what an odd notion!— and yet Eren sensed no lie in her.

"You're a strange one," he told her, but forced himself to relax his posture to appear lazy, almost drunk. "Most Hunters— even ones so pretty as yourself— shoot first and worry about the truth later. What's your name?"

Her nose crinkled. "It's polite to give your own first."

Sharp, he thought, watching her closely. Names have power.

"Eren Jaeger."

"Eren Jaeger," she echoed, then extended her hand. "My name is (Y/N)."

That name sounded familiar to Eren— and though most names did after living a few centuries, this one seemed to hit closer to home. He knew that name, and knew it well…

"What's your surname?"

(Y/N)'s eyes flashed with an emotion that Eren didn't catch.

"Kirschtein," she replied, averting her eyes. "I'm Jean Kirschtein's great-great-great granddaughter."

And damn if Eren didn't want to laugh. Perhaps his nosiness into the posterity of his old acquaintances really was as bad of an idea as Armin always seemed to imply.

"I see," he said, and he truly, truly did. "Then you know who I am— what I am— and what I've done."

More than that, if she truly did know who he was, it was unlikely that she had come without a specific purpose in mind.

(Y/N) nodded, confirming his suspicions. "I was digging around in my family history and— well— I read what my grandfather wrote, and I just— I wanted the truth."

So wide-eyed, so innocent— so alive. Eren could see now her resemblance to Jean; if they were not similar in looks, she had his sharpness, his humanness… and, as he always had Jean, Eren envied her for it.

"If that's the case, then I'm sure you know that you don't get something for nothing," he told her, sipping his drink just to watch the expression on her face as he let the warm blood slide down his throat. "And that dealings with me can be dangerous."

"Jean Kirschtein loved you, Eren Jaeger," she told him fiercely and with such conviction that Eren nearly choked on his drink. "To take such a tone with me, to threaten me, the last living remnant of him, is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard."

Eren was about to say that he didn't owe her, Jean Kirschtein, or anyone else any sort of respect, but she plowed on, unwilling to let him say his piece.

"You broke his heart a million ways by doing what you did, but— but he was your friend through all of it, no matter what side each of you were on," (Y/N) continued, passion aflame in her eyes. "I can't even imagine what inspired such a love, such a loyalty from him that he would forgive you for the horrors you caused. That's what I'm here to find out— what you have that a man such as him would find you redeemable."

The reproof in her words stung, but Eren was too old to argue. She could never understand what it was like back then.

"I understand more than you think," she snapped, and Eren actually flinched. "I understand that you hurt the woman my grandfather loved immeasurably, and that he forgave you for that even though he never even particularly liked you. I understand that you were ready to sacrifice the world for that selfsame woman, for Jean, and for all the others. I understand that you're a monster who loved and was loved back, but I want to know why."

How? Eren thought, shaken.

How had she known his thoughts? It was as though she had seen straight through to his innermost being.

Without speaking, she answered his question. (Y/N) took a hand and rolled up her left sleeve, presenting to him a scarred marking in the shape of a pentagram.

"My grandfather didn't settle down with just anyone," she told him, holding his gaze. "I come from a line of powerful witches, all of whom possessed strong claircognizance. Paired with my nature as an empath, you can assume I know what you're going to say before you say it."

Eren hummed, trying to appear less perturbed than he was.

"And yet you hunt Creatures for a living; strange, since you're practically one of us yourself."

(Y/N) glowered. "I hunt monsters that prey on my people, not Creatures. No innocent has died by my hand."

The unlike you went unsaid, but that didn't mean that Eren didn't hear it anyway.

"Don't get high-and-mighty with me, girl," he told her roughly. "Knowing is one thing, but experiencing what we experienced is another."

"I'm not here to judge you," she replied. "I told you, I'm here for truth, nothing more."

"And I told you that the truth doesn't come for free," he told her darkly. "You must give me something in return."

(Y/N) set her jaw.

"What would you have of me?"

It was a mean, base request. Eren was wicked for even thinking it, and vile for wanting it— but looking at the great-to-however-many-degrees granddaughter of a good man that he had once known, seeing the vitality that brought a flush to her cheeks and thumping to her heart, he knew he couldn't pass up this golden opportunity.

It had been so long since he'd had a Companion.

"Become my cupbearer for six moons," he told her, crossing his arms. "Starting with tonight, the moon becomes new; let me drink from you until six of these have passed, and along the way, you will learn what you want to know."

(Y/N) eyed him warily.

"Can you assure my physical safety?"

Eren grunted, almost amused. It was a bit late to be worrying about that.

"I think you know that I can."

"And will you let me continue in my duties as a Hunter?" she asked, her eyes searching his own as if she would find the answer to her question there inside the same eyes he'd had since he was nineteen. "Completely uninhibited?"

"That depends. Will you kill Creatures in the discharge of your duties?"

(Y/N) made a face. Eren had forgotten how expressive mortals could be, but he found that being reminded was not altogether unpleasant.

"You know I will," she replied, "But you have my word that any killing won't be unprovoked."

Eren supposed it was as close to a compromise as he could expect.

"As you wish it, so shall it be."

He turned away, signaling to the bartender for another drink, but a lightning-fast hand shot out to grab his wrist.

"Swear it," she demanded. "I need us to be Bound by it."

The meanness in Eren finally won over. He reached forward, grabbing (Y/N) by the neck, and the silver rings on her fingers burned him as she pulled at his hand to try and restore her breath. Eyes from all around the room were on the two of them— had been, since the very beginning— but it was only once the Hunter before him began to look appropriately humbled that he withdrew.

"Do not touch me without my permission," he said, "And I will return the favor."

(Y/N) looked at him then, but there was still no fear in her eyes. Anger, yes, but no fear.

She must be mad, or foolish one, he thought, considering her for a moment. I always have been partial to mad fools in general, but…

Something about her seemed different, and Eren didn't know what to do other than accept what she had to offer. Heavens knew he was getting the better end of the deal anyway.

"Swear it," she repeated, this time more quietly. "Give your word, and I will be your cupbearer."

Eren brought his hand up and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. At his will, the nail tip of his forefinger sharpened, hardening into a point; he used it to draw an 'X' onto the skin just over where his heart rested inside his chest, cold and dead. Blood welled into the cut— precious little, compared to that of a human, but still enough to run down his chest in smudges— and it was by that blood that he swore. He spoke the terms of their agreement, then took the blood from his wound with the pad of his finger and marked the same spot over (Y/N)'s own heart.

"Satisfied?" he asked, their faces almost touching, and (Y/N) shivered.

"Yes."

Her warm, living breath fanned over his face with her reply, and Eren took the moment to close his eyes and appreciate the scent and sensation of it.

"You may think you're satisfied," he told her, pulling away, "But you don't know the meaning of the word."

She eyed him warily, but before she could speak, he added, "In six months' time, I'll ask you the same question, and it is then that you will truly know what it is to feel satisfied— satiated in every way."

"As you say."

It was a throwaway comment, nothing more than a dismissal, really; but Eren felt like it was the start of something truly remarkable.

#aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #eren x reader #vampire!eren jaeger #aot smut

[the-ghost-king]

Schizophrenic Nico, here's why I think it's possible:

I want to start off by saying these are just my thoughts, there is no one way to be schizophrenic or to have schizophrenia. It's also important to note that many of the schizophrenic symptoms overlap with other mental illnesses/nuerodivergences like ADHD, Autism, Depression, and OCD which I know many people who head canon Nico as having. I'm not arguing schizophrenic Nico is more correct, more canon, or more right, but to explain some thoughts on why I think it's possible/very likely he does so I can use this for future reference in various thing.

I am using the term schizophrenia as a catchall for all "types" of schizophrenia, but not for schizoaffective disorder which I would say Nico probably doesn't have.

Children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia. It may also be possible if your mother was sick while pregnant with you, or having a father who was significantly older when he had you.

A stressful life, especially trauma, are more likely to develop schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It likely has something to do with excessive dopamine production, but it may also have something to do with the same genes that control the sleep-wake cycle. Schizophrenia is more common with other mental illnesses or with other nuerodivergences or developmental delays.

Common symptoms include:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions

less interest in social activities

Now what does this mean for Nico, and why do I think it's likely he has Schizophrenia?

Let's start with Nico's childhood, "children born in the winter/those who were "sickly" as babies are more likely to develop schizophrenia". Although Rick proposed two birthdays for Nico, the fandom generally accepted the January date more fully. We also know that Nico is described as small when he was younger, smallness is common in children who grow up sickly, but it is also common in children who's mother was ill while pregnant with them. We obviously don't know if Nico was sick as a kid, or if Maria was sick while pregnant with him, but again being born in the winter makes these things more likely, as well as consideration for the time period Nico grew up in and the larger variety of illnesses going around at the time. (He is vaccinated against some things though).

Trauma and Nico... do I really have to go into super detail on this one? He spent his childhood growing up in a fascist country that was extremely racist/anti-Semitic/homophobic/etc, his mom died when he was a child- in front of him, his father intentionally gave him amnesia, his sister died when he was a child, he then proceeded to become homeless living/spending lots of time with Minos who verbally (and possibly physically) abused him, becoming aware of his past memories, becoming aware of the fact that many people hated him because of his father and because they thought he was joining the other side (therefore, he was "bad"), he fought in many battles as a child, fought monsters alone, was often faced with life or death situations, went to Tartarus alone (where the goddess of misery told him he was "perfect"), was trapped in a hostage situation with little/no air for a long time while people debated whether or not to save him, was outed against his will, was freed only to travel again fighting monsters and then win a battle, was eventually made to quest with Apollo despite still having lots of healing to do in ToN. So stressful life? Fuck yeah, that doesn't being to cover it.

Genetic factors, obviously nothing here is confirmed so I'm speculating a little bit again, but the common idea in regards to Hades children through the series is that they are "bad". Mental illnesses have been stigmatized for hundreds, if not thousands of years, and often mentally ill people were made out to be weird/bad/etc. It's more than possible there is some sort of genetic factor taking place, also "having a father who was significantly older when he had you". Although I doubt godly genes work the same as mortal ones (trust me I have lots of thoughts on how god genetics/DNA work, but that's not the point right now), I think Hades being the oldest out of all his brothers and having a reputation for having "questionable" children says something... We have no information on Maria's family history at all.

As for schizophrenia often occurring with other mental illnesses and/or neurodivergences: Nico canonically is implied to have either ADHD and/or Autism, and is canonically stated to have PTSD. I think most people would agree that saying Nico has or has had depression isn't a stretch in the slightest.

So canonically we can all agree Nico has severe trauma and coinciding mental health issues/neurodivergences, so out of 4 possible issues I’ve first presented we guaranteeably have two. If I wanted to stretch this a little I would give myself a half point for him being born in the winter and a half point for the aspect of Hades genetics but I won’t do that.

On top of that schizophrenia usually appears during teenage and young adult years in people who receive diagnosis; most people live with mental illness for a few months or a few years in some cases before they're able to receive a diagnosis. Nico being 15 (16 by the end of ToN/shortly following the end of ToN) is about the age that schizophrenia would start to make an appearance. It's also more likely to be found in men, with men also noticing the appearance of schizophrenia appearing early in their lives, and experiencing more negative symptoms in comparison to the higher commonality of affective symptoms in women. That's a really complicated explanation to basically say there's 3 more things that would make Nico having schizophrenia make more sense.

Alright, let’s go back to the list of symptoms I provided:

Hallucinations

Delusions

Disorganized thinking

lack of motivation

slow movement

change in sleep patterns

poor grooming or hygiene

changes in body language and emotions/behavior

less interest in social activities

Once again, some of these are not solely related to schizophrenia and can be the result of other mental health issues, I’m just going to go down the list and add in some moments from the books in which Nico shows some of these traits/behaviors.

Delusions/Hallucinations (more later)

Our best chances for understanding Nico's thought process is in Blood of Olympus where he has a P.O.V... Sometimes Nico's thoughts do derail, or sometimes they get a little confusing, but not always, and when talking to others he is consistent and aware of what he's saying, as well as blunt. Anything "off" about his thought patterns to me just seems like ADHD..

Dietary changes (whether or not you think he has an eating disorder) are behavioral changes (I personally think Nico has AFRID)

Within House of Hades Nico's poor sleep patterns are constantly referenced, and I'll give him a pass on poor hygiene because he's in the middle of a quest but still..

I have extremely complicated feelings on what Will says here, it's possible Nico is an extremely unreliable narrator (unlikely, it seems many people are bothered by him and only maybe a handful aren't), I've also thought at many points this was Rick trying to backtrack some stuff with Nico because he realized he'd made his story a little too harsh for a kids book, it could also be Will's trauma kicking in and that happening... I'm not counting it as full proof about Nico disliking social interactions, but Nico does try to leave even after this conversation and isn't convinced to stay until the last chapter, so maybe there's something to be said about people's dislike of him for being a Hades kid- but I think it's fair to say Nico also dislikes people at least some because he doesn't have interest in trying to befriend anyone either, and is quick to assume all people dislike him (paranoia/low self esteem/and some other possible stuff). There's lots of discussions to be had about this quote and other similar ones, and I don't think a broad brush approach of "Nico good everyone else bad" is accurate it's more, "Nico is good but he fails to try and you have to work on your own mental health everyone won just go to you, and also people dislike Nico for silly reasons and need to get over themselves and make an effort too". (I'm extremely oversimplifying my thoughts and feelings to keep it brief.)

More on delusions and hallucinations:

Now I want to state that lots of schizophrenia symptoms share a lot of commonalities with ADHD and with depression, so although I might include some moments you think are just ADHD/depression I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with you but they could also be schizophrenia or coexisting mental health issues/divergences. I also went through the DSM-5 for schizophrenia (the DSM-5 is just this big book with lists and it’s how doctors diagnose any mental health issue/divergence), I also looked through the DSM-IV (an older book from before DSM-5 which is no longer really used) and the differences between the diagnosis was fairly minimal but they quit categorizing types of schizophrenia and instead rely more on a couple of word descriptions that seem more in line with a spectrum rather than a checkable box.

In order to receive a schizophrenia diagnosis, two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated), and at least one of these symptoms must be (1), (2), or (3):

Delusions

Hallucinations

Disorganized speech (frequent derailment or incoherence)

Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior

Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition).

It’s important to note that only one of these need to be checked off/true if the patient has voices which narrate their actions/behaviors/thoughts or if the person has more than one voice conversing with each other.

Nico deals with auditory hallucinations (2), he believes the voice belongs to Bob, his titan friend he left in Tartarus:

However this isn’t and immediate diagnosis because Bob’s voice doesn’t talk to another voice(s) in Nico’s head, and we don’t know if Nico has voices running commentary on his behaviors/thoughts.

The reason I state we are unaware if Nico has commentary isn’t because Nico hasn’t said anything, but because many people with schizophrenia before their diagnosis believe the narrative voices are just their thoughts and are a normal internal monologue- usually patients don’t realize anything is wrong until the voices start providing commentary on their actions so instead of “washing the dishes now” the voice(s) might say “wash the dishes now, you’re so lazy you can’t do anything, idiot” during a period of psychosis which may help them acknowledge that the voice(s) isn’t the way most people experience internal voice(s). It is very possible Nico is unaware he is experiencing narrative thoughts and simply assumes that his experience is something most people have, but I won’t use this to argue my point because it’s not confirmation of anything.

Returning now to Bob, Nico knows he is hearing Bob’s voice but he believes Bob is calling to him from Tartarus. Now, Nico says the voices are calling to him from Tartarus but there’s no confirmation of this anywhere… What I think is happening is Nico has a guilty conscience. He feels bad for “using” Bob to get out of Tartarus and various other things, so he feels bad that he is still down there. However, we don’t really know if Bob is calling to him or if Bob is able to do that- what I personally think is happening here is Nico’s brain is convincing Nico that Bob needs him because Nico is upset with himself for not helping Bob more, but also because Nico has never “sat still” before without a quest. Nico has also always felt the want to be needed/important...

It very well could be a delusion.

Schizophrenic patients often experience delusions which make them think they are destined for greatness, or that they have some divine/high force calling out to them for help that only they can provide. It’s an extremely common thing in individuals who experience delusions, and is in fact one of the most common delusions experienced. So although Bob could really be calling out to Nico, I don’t think he is, it doesn’t entirely make sense and there’s lots of little things which point to it being not entirely real- like the fact that nobody else knows about it? Or how absolutely sure Nico is that he need to return to Tartarus? It seems like a mixture of PTSD, delusions, and trauma response (returning to the trauma), working against him. I’ll say delusion is very likely (1).

Using these two factors alone there’s sufficient evidence for diagnosis, but let’s keep going just to see.

For disorganized speech (3) this isn’t something Nico seems to struggle with, and even if he did “derailing” could be ADHD or Autism, so I don’t think this symptom pertains to him.

Changes in behavior (4), seem to all be explainable via depression and/or PTSD- he has begun to express emotion again in Tower of Nero upon learning of Jason’s death he is said to be upset by Will and he walks off to be alone, seems like depression to me. Emotional/Behavior changes from schizophrenia tend to relate more to bipolar disorder rather than a depressive disorder, so I would say if Nico has schizophrenia he probably doesn’t have emotional or behavioral changes from it. If he did he might have some catatonic behavior, but this seems to be clearing up some in Tower of Nero so I’m not super sure on that, maybe during bad periods of psychosis behavioral changes occur, but I would lean more towards this isn’t a symptom Nico personally deals with. Negative symptoms (5) tie into this same idea, it’s possible it’s schizophrenia, but it’s more likely PTSD or depression at work.

So why do I care so much about the possibility of Nico being schizophrenic?

I feel like canonically/fanonically making Nico schizophrenic does a few things, firstly schizophrenic rep in media is extremely extremely awful- can you think off the top of your head of a schizophrenic character who isn't from a horror film/a murder/a villain in their own story? Maybe, but personally I can only think of one which is Charlie from Perks of Being a Wallflower- and even then? That's not canon, it's only implied- and it might not even be true

Schizophrenic media representation always paints schizophrenic people as bad, scary, and evil, and although the horror genre is extremely well known for being super ableist, transphobic, racist, homophobic, and misogynistic (just the final cherry on top) having one of the first- if not the first openly confirmed schizophrenic characters in children's media not only be someone who has lots of character development, and isn't a stereotype, but also be someone people have grown up with, cared for, and sympathized with- would be extremely monumental.

People with schizophrenia and other related disorders aren't something to be scared of or to think of as bad, and often times they're more bothered by whatever they're experiencing than you are.

I don't have schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder or anything like that, but I have various undiagnosed mental health issues which often lead to me questioning reality, or having to set aside time to convince myself that no there isn't a man living in my wall... Having a character have to question those things, work through those feelings, and learn to trust themselves and care for themselves even with those difficulties would be really great to see in media, not just for people with schizophrenia but also for people with similar/related disorders who might share symptoms see parts of their own struggles in a good, educative way.

I have to finish this in two parts because tumblr keeps breaking because there's too many words in my post lmao (2nd part here)

#nico di angelo #pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson #will solace #solangelo

[haikyuu-appreciation-club]

hii!! this is actually my first time requesting so I'm a little bit nervous about this. but would it be alright to ask for hcs with hinata, bokuto, and iwaizumi with an s/o who has this irrational fear of when they're walking and they don't see the person they're walking with in front of them or beside them, they (s/o) automatically assume that the person they're with left them and starts crying or pinging their phone? and when they ask they're s/o about it, they tell them that it was because when they were younger their mom always made them walk in front of her when she's in a bad mood and younger them just thought that their mom made them do this so that she could abandon them and leave them to be lost? it's totally fine if you don't want to do it! ^^

• Hinata, Bokuto, + Iwaizumi W/ a S/O Who Has a Fear of Getting Lost •

warnings: descriptions of a panic attack

genre: comfort + fluff

characters: hinata, bokuto, + iwaizumi

a/n: i’m so sorry that these are crappy, it’s been so long since i’ve written hcs 

•Hinata•

hinata was beyond excited to bring you along with him to the winter festival

not only did he get to stuff himself full of good food but he got to spend the entire night spending time with you

being as eager as he was, he picked you up early from your house and dragged your intertwined hands towards the bright lights that shone down the road

the winter festival was an extremely popular event in miyagi so it wasn’t a huge surprise that when the two of you finally arrived, it was packed with people

hinata payed the large crowd no mind, too focused on the bright lights and the smells flying through the air to care about the amount of people

you on the other hand began to grow worried, with the extreme amount of attendees the chances of getting separated from hinata were through the roof

however, you decided to push away your worries so you could just enjoy the night, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves and reaching a hand out to grip onto hinata’s sweater

but nothing but the cold night air met your fingers as they curled back into your palm

in a moment of panic your gaze swept across the crowd, eyes growing wide when you failed to spot your boyfriend

with shaky hands you fished around in your bag for your cellphone, quickly scrolling through your contacts and clicking on hinata’s name

the dial tone blared through your ears as chants of ‘please pick up’ fell from your lips

after what felt like an eternity the line connected and you could’ve swore you let go of a breath you didn’t even know you’d been holding

“Y/N where’d you go? I turned around but you weren’t there. Stay put and i’ll find you, kay?”

the line cut off as quickly as it connected and you were left clutching your cellphone in the middle of the busy street

you manged to make your way to the sidewalk in your frightened state as familiar thoughts slipped into your mind

he had told you he was on his way to come find you but all your brain had registered was that hinata had left you and was never coming back

it wasn’t until you felt a warm hand on your shoulder that you were ripped from those thoughts

your glossy eyes moved from the cracked pavement to the bright grin that was spread across hinata’s face

“There you are! Sorry, i should’ve made sure you with me-”

he stopped his train of thought when he noticed the hurt painted across your face

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“T-Thought you left me.”

his heart broke at those words as he slid down next to you and pulled you into a tight embrace

“I’m super sorry Y/N. I promise i’d never leave you on purpose. You mean so much to me and there’s no where else i’d rather be then right here with you.”

a sigh of contentment left your lips as you leaned into his touch, knowing he meant every word

“It’s okay Sho, i’m just glad you’re here now”

he beamed at you as he moved to stand up, extending a hand towards you

“Yup, and now that i am we can go have fun!”

the two of you spent the rest of the night laughing and smiling with one another, hand in hand as you stuck by each other’s side

•Bokuto•

bokuto was so excited to take you along to watch your first in-person pro-volleyball game

of course you’d attend his games before but this was the first time you’d be able to see a professional game from somewhere other than his living room television

you were pretty fired up too, growing to love the sport just as much as bokuto did during your relationship with him

the two of you walked into the stadium hand in hand, bokuto rambling in excitement as his eyes trailed across the environment

you followed his gaze, looking about the huge structure around you and the many people that wandered throughout it

you knew professional games were obviously popular but you didn’t expect it to be so crowded

you were growing nervous, subconsciously squeezing bokuto’s hand out of habit as your sight shifted from one person to the next

bokuto’s eyes wandered to you due to the increased amount of pressure youd applied to his hand, wondering what had you so fidgety

“What’s wrong Y/N? Something bothering you? Oh, do you have to go to the bathroom? I’ll show you where it is!”

before you could protest, you were being dragged towards the direction of the restroom

it’s not as if you could turn down bokuto’s offer after he gave you such a confident smile at the door to the bathroom, so you gave him a quick hug and walked in

it was much more peaceful behind the closed doors, the soft music drowning out the anxiety that had previously overwhelmed you

after spending a believable amount of time in the restroom you turned to examine your appearance in the mirror once more before stepping outside

your gaze imminently wandered to the place where your boyfriend had stood prior

only to find that he was no longer there

your eyes quickly darted around the area, head turning almost painfully fast in attempts to scout out bokuto, but it was no use

your chest began to tighten as your breath picked up in pace

you felt light headed, dizzy, and so incredibly lonely

why did he have to leave you here? where could he have gone?

you stumbled, attempting to grip the wall to steady yourself but you missed

before your head met the floor you heard the crinkle of wrapping as a large hand gripped at your arm

you sank to the floor with the figure before you were wrapped in a comforting hug

“Y/N, it’s okay, i’m here. Just try and breathe for me, okay? Look, you can listen to my heartbeat too!”

your head was lightly pushed up against bokuto’s chest as his heartbeat filled your ears

slowly, your breath began to match the soothing sound as you came down from your breakdown

once your breathing had returned to normal bokuto pulled you away from his grasp and gave you a frown, hair falling with it

your eyes wandered around and moved from the sad boy in front of you to the snacks spread across the floor behind him

“I’m sorry Y/N, i just went to grab us snacks. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I love you a whole bunch and i promise i’d never leave you all by yourself like that.”

your shaky hand moved to cup bokuto cheek as you gave him a soft smile

“It’s okay Ko, you’re here now and that’s all that matters. Now let’s go watch that game, kay?”

his grin returned as he pulled you into another hug

“Sounds good to me.”

The two of you made your way to the stands with snacks in hand and spent the rest of the day in each other’s company

•Iwaizumi•

you and iwaizumi decided to spend your sunday afternoon window shopping in the plaza near his home

both of you had things to purchase so it made the most sense to kill two birds with one stone and spend time with one another as you found what you needed to

your dates together were always like this, never too fancy but always giving you the opportunity to spend time with one another, which was more than enough for the both of you

the two of you walked side by side down the sidewalk, chatting and peering through windows at different merchandise on display

normally it wasn’t too packed when you came to visit the shopping center but it was the weekend after all and pretty close to a holiday so it was a lot more packed than usual

however, you decided to pay it no mind today, way too focused on that adorable bag you spotted in a bouquet the two of you had just passed to worry about something like a crowd

you turned to tap iwaizumi on the shoulder so you could drag him to the shop, only to realize he wasn’t next to you like he had been prior

in fact, as your gaze wandered about the crowd you found that he was nowhere in sight

imminently, panic began to set in as tears pricked your eyes

he was gone and you had no idea where he could be in this sea of people

and although this wasn’t intentional on iwaizumi’s part, your brain told you that maybe he wanted to leave you stranded on the busy streets

your sniffles turned into quiet sobs as you cried into your hands, eyes still trying to find your boyfriend through blurry vision

swiping at your tears didn’t help your search either as muffled hiccups began to escaped your lips

you were about to completely give up and breakdown when you heard your name being called out somewhere in the crowds of people

eyes widened as you began frantically looking around for the source of the familiar voice and soon enough you spotted iwaizumi running towards you, a concerned look on his face

you sprinted towards him, sobs still wracking your body as you arms found their way around his torso, burying your face into his broad chest

he returned the embrace, holding you tightly as he felt your hot tears wet his grey t-shirt

“It’s okay Y/N, i’m right here. I’m so sorry, i’m not going anywhere i promise. I love you so much and id never leave you like that.”

after some time your sobs returned to mere sniffles in iwaizumi’s grasp

you felt safe and content knowing that your boyfriend was in arms reach once more

once you’d calmed down, the two of you continued your shopping, iwaizumi holding your hand just a little bit tighter this time around

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyuu headcanons #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #hinata shoyo #hinata x reader #bokuto kotaro #bokuto x reader #iwaizumi x reader comfort #iwaizumi x reader fluff #hinata x reader comfort #hinata x reader fluff #bokuto x reader comfort #bokuto x reader fluff #iwaizumi headcanons #iwaizumi x reader headcanons #hinata headcanons #hinata x reader headcanons #bokuto headcanons #bokuto x reader headcanons #haikyuu x reader headcanons #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu x reader fluff #haikyuu fluff #iwaizumi fluff #bokuto fluff #hinata fluff

[justcourttee]

I love your sibling Jasonette so much!! If you don't mind, could you do Marinette's first meeting with the rest of the Batfam? Also, this is probably a stupid question but are the rest of the sibling Jasonette stories connected?

Not a stupid question at all! I wrote them so that if you read all of them, there are parallels so that they could be connected, but if people didn’t want to read all of them, they could also stand on their own :)

I also NEVER mind writing more sibling Jasonette ;) Hope you enjoy! @moonlitjiminie 

Family Game Night

“What if they don’t like me?”

Jason stopped in his tracks, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Is that even a real question that you’re asking me? I’m honestly offended right now that you would even think they had an option to not like you.”

He dramatically placed his hand over his heart as if her words had fatally wounded him earning a small giggle from the girl. Slinging his arm over her shoulder, she managed to breathe a small sigh of relief as they made their way up the long staircase.

Jason didn’t even bother knocking as he threw open the manor doors, effectively dragging her in with him.

“Master Jason, what a pleasure to see you attend family game night and with a guest in tow, how lovely.”

An older man stood in the foyer, his sly smile warming Marinette to the core instantly. Jason narrowed his eyes playfully at the man, a sly smile of his own tugging at his lips.

“Marinette, let me introduce you to the only sane person in this household. Mr. Alfred Pennyworth. He likes to pretend he’s just a humble butler, but we all know that he secretly runs the whole thing around here.”

Alfred bowed deeply to Marinette to which she could only curtsey in return.

“It’s a pleasure, sir. I am sorry for invading your family time. I was under the impression that my presence was a known factor tonight.” Her narrowed eyes shot to Jason who simply shrugged, his smirk as arrogant as ever.

“Nonsense, a friend of Master Jason is a friend to all. You are by far the most pleasant friend he has brought to this event.”

Marinette almost wanted to ask about the context of his remark, but something in her gut told her she really didn’t want to know.

“Please, follow me to the sitting room. The rest of the family has already arrived.”

They walked in a comfortable silence down the hall, Marinette nerves slightly frayed now knowing that nobody expected her appearance. Alfred pushed open two oak doors, revealing a brightly lit room filled with many laughing faces. When Jason said he had a lot of siblings, Marinette thought two or three. Nothing could have prepared her for this.

“Oh my god, Jason brought home a girl!”

Instantly all sounds in the room paused as many heads turned their attention to where Marinette stood in the doorway. Hesitantly, she raised her hand in greeting, a sheepish smile gracing her face.

“Everyone, this is Marinette, the legendary designer MDC, and my sister. She’s flown all the way from Paris to meet you losers for some reason so be nice.”

Marinette mumbled a quiet hello as a few smiles broke through the room welcoming her. Instantly, a blonde girl jumped up to drag her back to where she was previously sitting, ignoring Jason’s protests.

“You just have to play on my team tonight! Are you any good at Pictionary? I mean I’m not great, but I can say with utmost confidence that I can beat most of the people in this room.”

“That’s not true!” Marinette’s attention was split as one of the men started an argument with her as to who was the better pictionary-ist. She didn’t even notice when Jason had sat beside her, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

“The rude blonde is Stephanie Brown. She’s Timmy boys girlfriend, who would be the dead zombie looking kid over there.”

Marinette’s gaze followed to where Jason pointed, a small giggle escaping at his accurate description. The poor boy looked like he hasn’t gotten a good night's sleep a single day in his life. 

“The rude boy arguing with Stephanie would be Dick. He practically rivals your optimism except his happy go lucky actually disgusts me.”

The man paused from his argument, a horrified expression on his face.

“I like to think my optimism is a blessing.”

That earned a collective groan from the room to which he simply crossed his arms into a pout.

“Anyways, continuing, the redhead is Barbara Gordon-Grayson who unfortunately has trapped herself in the position of Dick’s wife. A tragedy really for such a beautiful woman, I mean she could’ve had me and instead she chose him? The world just isn’t right.”

Another protest came from Dick’s direction as he turned his pout into Barbara’s outstretched arms as her attempt to not laugh failed miserably.

“The one staring you down while trying to pretend he’s not interested at the same time would be your future husband Damian.”

Marinette felt her entire face flush red as she reached back slapping Jason in the stomach as hard as he could.

“Todd, I do not appreciate harassing this young woman. You are beneath her in status and beauty therefore you should not be allowed to get off with this insult to her self so easily.”

Damian stood from his spot, careful not to make eye contact with Marinette as he sped past her toward the room’s only exit. She wanted to call out and ask him to stay, but the pink on his cheeks caused her to pause. He probably was just as embarrassed as her and just needed some time to breathe.

“Jason, that was mean! Look at how flustered you made him!”

Jason simply laughed as he reached over to ruffle her hair.

“Trust me, he never gets ‘flustered’ that was all you.”

For the second time that night, Marinette felt her face flush.

“He’s right you know!” Her eyes turned back to the blonde from earlier who stared her down with a playful expression in her eyes. “Demon spawn definitely has a crush on you.”

The rest of the family took turns picking at her, taking jabs until she was sure there wasn’t one part of her that wasn’t bloodshot red.

“Alright, alright, give the girl some space. We want her to return eventually!”

Marinette smiled gratefully toward the dark-haired man.

“After all, I need to get to know my future daughter-in-law.”

She instantly regretted her friendly gesture as the room exploded once more, smiles and laughter filling the room. Why exactly had she let Jason talk her into this?

“Okay, okay, really though guys. It’s game night! Time to pick team captains.”

Stephanie’s devilish smile sent shivers through Marinette’s spine. It was purely chaotic, reminding her of another blonde that she had left behind.

“I vote Marinette and Jason, the ultimate sibling showdown!” Dick puffed out his chest as his voice mimicked what sounded suspiciously like a wrestling ref that her father loved to watch.

“I’m down, how about you princess?”

Marinette bit her lip as her eyes glanced around the room at their waiting faces. Her eyes caught sight of one brooding face that she couldn’t seem to pass by. He also seemed to be waiting, his eyes nervously glancing from her position to the door as if he might bolt at any moment.

“It’s game on Todd.”

They shook their hands defiantly, both wearing dangerous smirks. Maybe she could salvage her pride tonight; not just hers’ but Damian’s as well. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

“Ladies first.”

Marinette and Jason stood on opposite sides of the room, both watching each other with an intense look that came from their competitive natures. She scanned the eager faces of his family thoughtfully. She had no idea what any of them were good at, but she wanted to maintain appearance for the psych of it.

“Damian.”

Everybody broke out into smirks as they shared knowing looks. She didn’t bother to pay them any mind as the pink-cheeked boy rose to stand with her.

“Wrong move princess, demon spawn hates game night more than he likes to win. My first choice? Stephanie.”

The girl pumped her fist in the air as she joined Jason on his side. Marinette leaned toward where Damian stood, hiding half her face behind her hand.

“Time to strategize, who is my best bet?”

Damian stared at her with a bewildered expression.

“C’mon beau garçon, I need your help if we’re gonna kick Jason’s ass.”

He nodded slowly as if that were a perfectly reasonable excuse to kick into gear.

“Grayson is the leading contender if you wish to win tonight.”

Marinette nodded as she motioned for Dick to join them as well. Jason raised an eyebrow at her as he called over Tim, challenging her to pick from the remaining two.

“Okay Damian, Barbara or Bruce.”

He didn't bother responding as he pointed at his father, leaving the redhead to Jason’s team.

It was five hours of intense games, Alfred keeping score as an unaffiliated third party,( after all, they had all agreed that he was the fairest way to keep the games moving.) They all sat in anticipation while he tallied the scores. She couldn’t seem to calm her nerves as she stared at Jason’s cocky smirk.

Marinette felt a warmth brush by her kneecap. Instantly her head snapped to where a hand rested before her gaze reached back up to his face, a light red dusting across her cheeks. Immediately his hand retracted.

“I’m sorry if that was inappropriate, your knee was just bouncing anxiously from the corner of my eye and it was a slight bother.”

Marinette muttered out a small sorry before they both broke their gaze, the blush evident on both of their cheeks.

“And with a final score of 5-4, the winning team is… Miss Marinette!”

Her whole team jumped from the couch in excitement. Without thinking, she threw her arms around Damian’s neck. Realization crossed her face as she quickly retracted her hug, her entire face as red as could be. God, she hadn’t been this much of a blushing mess since she was thirteen.

They all chatted idly for a few minutes before Jason finally intercepted, insisting he had to get her back to her apartment before it got too late. The whole family waved her goodbye, minus one red-faced teen who instead handed her a small piece of paper as discreetly as he could, ignoring the taunts from his family behind his back.

As they drove back to her apartment, Marinette couldn’t hold her excitement anymore.

“I don’t know why you were warning me so much, I think I’m in love with your family Jason.”

His familiar smirk sat on his face as he turned into the apartment’s lot.

“I told you they were going to love you, and what do you know? I didn’t even have to give Damian your number, you two worked it out on your own. I truly believe they are planning out your wedding right now.”

Marinette shook her head as she reached over the console to hug Jason tightly before stepping out of the car. She wanted to deny accusations of what happened tonight, but she knew it would just fuel his picking.

Besides, even she couldn’t deny that she was excited for the next family game night and if she saw a certain Wayne there, well, that really wouldn’t be so bad.

Permanent Tag List:

@damianette-is-life @ash-amg @rebecarojas07 @heaven428 @long-lost-peace @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @moongoddesskiana @nach0ava

#daminette #jasonette #maribat

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ TWO COFFEES ❜

✨ REQUEST: Oh can I have a Nestor imagine where Miguel ends setting the pair of you up??? 💜♥️💜♥️💜

✨ MADE BY ANON.

Gif credits: to the author.

WORDS: about 1.6k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤ — this work also includes sentences in Spanish, as reader can speak it.

❚❙ NESTOR OCETEVA MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

“Two coffees, please”.

You were with your back to him when you heard his husky voice and a soft latin tone in it. You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow with some kind of confusion at his order. Who comes to a Starbucks just asking for two coffees? Turning at the man with your lips pressed in a funny smile, you took a second to look at him behind the counter.

He is familiar to you. You know him from somewhere.

His black braids were the first thing that caught your attention, before focusing on the red and black shirt under the jacket of his suit. His hands were hidden inside the pockets of his pants, but you noticed his nervousness in the way he had closed them in two fists.

“Normal or decaf? With or without milk? Normal milk? Lactose-free? Soya milk? Almond milk? With sugar, saccharine, or mocca? With or without cream? Do you want it hot or do you want it iced?”

“Normal, no milk, no sweetener, no cream, no ice. Just two coffees”.

You were about to laugh until you heard him talking again. A tone more firm letting you know that he wasn't in the mood for jokes. You could see him gulping a little ashamed when you changed the gesture in your face, but you didn't say anything else. The order was easy and ready in less than one minute. Closing the cups and offering him, you tried to show him another gentle smile but you couldn't. Offering you ten dollars, you waved a hand between the both of you.

“It's on me… Sir”. You told him, an instant before he threw the money inside the tips jar.

Watching him leaving the cafeteria made you feel strangely bad, not knowing exactly why. Sighing as the black car, parked in front of your workplace, disappeared from your field of vision in a jiffy. You hadn't seen that man before, but you wouldn't mind seeing him again. To apologize for being so stupid, of course.

—— NESTOR POV ——

“I fucked up”.

“Yeah, we all have seen the face of that poor girl. I bet you scared her”. Miguel laughed in the back seat of his car, taking a sip from the coffee.

“What the fuck you told him, man?” Vargas stopped the vehicle at a red light, turning at his boss.

“I asked for two coffees, and she started to… give me a lot of options, like milk and sugar and I just got nervous”.

“You? Nervous?” Miguel leaned forward, placing his forearms in both seats, sticking his head out of the gap between both. “The fearless Nestor Oceteva feeling nervous?”

“Fuck off, Mickey! I've been trying to talk with her for a week”.

“Yeah, and you scared her. Did you forget you only had to scare people while you're working?” The other man raised his eyebrows, making his boss laugh behind them.

When the night came and the cafeteria had emptied of customers, you turned off most of the lights inside and locked the main door, to count the cash and write it down in the account book. Playing some soft music on your phone, you took off the green cap and the apron of the same color. It was a long day and all you can think about was in that mystery man with two braids, and who made you feel frustrated for some reason. It wasn't like you wanted to make him smile or to know his name, or maybe get his phone number. Of course not.

Knocks on the crystal door claimed your attention, turning your head towards it and interrupting your task. Gulping nervously finding two suited men with his hands tangled in a big fist, respectively, under their abdomens, you stepped out from behind the counter to lead your feet to their position.

“Are you alone?” One of them asked without any doubt in his words.

Simply nodding, the other man walked to the car parked behind them. Then, you watched Miguel Galindo coming out from it. And now, you were fucked. Of course, you knew the man who came that morning. Licking your lips, freaking out, you unlocked the door to let him walk in.

“Buenas noches”.

“Buenas noches, se—señor Galindo”.

“Are you occupied? May I come in?”

With your heart racing, you gave him enough space to pass you away to the inside.

“I'm sorry if… he tho—thought I was making… fun of him. I didn't me—mean to be disrespectful”.

Your hands were sweating, rubbing one against the other behind your back. Barely breathing. Praying anything you knew.

“Tranquila, it's okay. Do you think I came to… make you something?” His calm attitude gave you shivers. The kind of ones that put your body to tremble. The laugh that echoed all around the empty cafeteria provoked your nausea. “The truth is… you like him. He has been some days trying to encourage himself to ask you out, but my brother is a little dumb”.

Tilting your head with confusion, just like a dog would do, you narrowed your eyes not sure if he was being serious or he was teasing you to have some fun.

“I do—”.

Miguel raised a forefinger to stop you, as soon as his phone rang inside his jacket. Grabbing it from the pocket and reading the name on the screen, he answered the call with the speaker on.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Mickey? Emily just told me you went for two coffees. The fuck you have? Five fucking years old? Leave the waitress in pace!”

Feeling like shit, you bowed down your head because of his words, recognizing the voice at the instant. The man in front of you watched the gesture frowning his brow.

“Nestor, the speaker is on”.

Pi, pi, pi. He had hung up.

“List—”.

“Can you, please, leave? I think you have had enough fun. And you should be ashamed of using your position to do this kind of bullshit to someone humble, who only wants to live her life without being a target to your free time”. Trying to be polite, you pointed at the door with a hand.

“No, no, lis—”.

“If you don't leave right now, sir, I'm calling the cops”. You ruled, taking a step forward with your eyes glued to him, about to cry because of rage. The rage that helped you to lose any fears about confronting the dangerous Miguel Galindo.

In silence, he nodded only one time, turning around to leave the cafeteria. After locking the door, you let the tears fill up your eyes and run down your cheeks. Needing a little break before finishing your work and going home.

A few days have passed since then, not being able to stop thinking about it and why you. Why they decided to play that prank. It wasn't funny. At least, it wasn't funny for you. But you were sure that, later, they commented it and laughed about your gestures. Turning the filter holder of the professional coffee maker, to fit it into the gear, you can't help but look through the reflection on it over your shoulder. Your heart jumps when you find Nestor bent over the counter with both forearms, waiting to be attended to.

“What would you like, sir?” The question comes out from your mouth with a cold tone of voice, not even looking at his eyes, ready to take his order in the TPV.

“Two coffees”. He replies trying to not show any kind of emotion, taking off the sunglasses covering his dark eyes. “One like… just coffee. And another of your choice”.

Filling up the cups with the drink and securing them with the covers, you put them over the counter to grab back the money and give him the change. Holding one with his right hand, the man offers you the other with his left.

“Do you have a moment?”

“No”.

“Por favor”.

“I said no”.

“I'm going to stay here, till you say yes”. The smile curving his mouth, showing you two perfect rows of teeth, convinces you somehow.

Rolling your eyes and tapping your co-worker's shoulder, you make him a gesture to cover you to take a short break. Nestor follows you then to the back alley, not saying a word but trying to prepare a monologue to apologize. Stopping your track and facing him, having a sip from your coffee, you wave your hand waiting for something.

“I told him to not do it”.

“So… was it a bet, or what? Were you bored and thought that could be fun making me feel stupid and ashamed?”

“None of that”. His jaw tensing calls your attention, bowing his eyes to the drink between his hands. “I really wanted to ask you out, but I wasn't sure if you were going to accept. I was nervous and… Miguel thought that he could help me”.

“He didn't”.

“I know”.

“And you, shouting through the phone, either”.

“Yeah, lo siento por eso”. Looking at your eyes again, with regret, he keeps his free hand in a pocket. “If you don't want to hang out with me, it's okay. I came to apologize for what happened”.

“Thank you”. You just whisper.

He tilts his head, pressing his lips and forcing a smile. Nestor waits one second, hoping that you add something else like you would like to have a date, but you don't talk again. Giving up, he nods turning around disappointed, walking out of the alley.

But actually, you're just making him suffer a little. It's called payback.

“I'm free tomorrow night”.

With a brow raised, the man turns around, facing you some steps away.

“We can meet at Jin's chinese restaurant. At seven”.

His smile appears again, infecting you with the same gesture.

“I'll be there at six”.

“Why?” You chuckle, not understanding him.

“To not make you wait”.

“Todo un caballero…”

#lemme know what you think in a comment! ✨ #mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #mayans mc #nestor oceteva x reader #nestor oceteva imagine #nestor oceteva

[boop-le-snoot]

cupid carries a gun

masterlist • taglist & faq

dark!Bruce Banner x named!Reader. Rated R.

Dr. Banner is a serial killer known as the Doctor and Bailey has his soulmark. He escapes imprisonment and meets his soulmate. ~2,2k words. Serial killer fluff??

[no y/n, no 'you', no reader description, race/age/body type neutral, only first name]

This is more of a concept I wrote in an hour than an actual fic. I think it would make a good multi-chapter, but really, my hands are full now and I just needed to get this weird dream off my chest. Yes, I had a dream he was a serial killer and I was his soulmate 💀🖐🏻 I need to ease up on true crime shows istg...

St. John's was suffering a nasty collective psychosis. That would be the only logical explanation Bailey is willing to accept for the jittery, jerky way everybody is behaving. Some of it could be attributed to the armed guards roaming the halls and scaring the patients - but in America, a gun slung over the shoulder shouldn't invoke such a reaction from people.

Only select few know what these people are there for, anyways. Most hospital population is clueless, only vaguely perceiving the sense of dread those harbouring the knowledge seem to carry around. People are easily scared - the thought doesn't leave Bailey's head her whole shift.

She, however, knows exactly what is happening. She's good at her job, brilliant even, nerves made of purest steel and bedside manner perfectly compassionate and tender. It doesn't come as a surprise that she is the one that got chosen to handle the problematic, uncooperative patients.

The bar is high, and this time - neigh impossible. A man so dangerous, so volatile, it required the sheriff to dispatch their town's squadron of special forces - not that was anything but a slight setback for the Doctor. The halls of this hospital will be forever marred with their blood, will forever be haunted by the echoes of their screams abruptly cutting off with a wet squelch.

Bailey thought she'd done her part to protect the innocents. Her colleagues, young women just like her (they're not, Bailey's mind whispers), all safely locked away in a storage closet for the cops to find. There are no windows and He won't see or hear them... If they're smart.

There he is, the man everybody is savagely afraid of. He is everything and nothing she had imagined - Doctor Bruce Banner is on the shorter side, stocky and sickly pale in his hospital issue pajamas, the bluish tint to his skin contrasted by dark crimson stains of blood on the rancid green cotton of his clothes.

The axe in his hands is held firmly but clumsily - Bailey's sure it wouldn't have been his weapon of choice should he had been given one. A choice. She swallowed the unease that spread all over her determination like mold, seeing his eyes, wild and crazy, land on the crook of her arm - where his mark laid, bright red and angry, as if it had been carved into her flesh mere days ago.

"Are you, perhaps, in need of a nurse, doctor Banner?" Bailey inquired softly, fingertips shaking, as the man crossed the space between them with short, powerful strides. The woman's stance widened, involuntary shivers running through her bones at the unexpected tenderness coming from him - Dr. Banner's palms gently wrapped around her arm, warm, chapped lips touching the angry, red soulmark near the crook of her elbow.

"It's been so long since I had a nurse," the man's mutter was barely audible. His eyes, the warmest brown she'd ever seen, met Bailey's wide, shining ones, for her to discover no trace of the madness she was told should be there. Bailey smiled.

As the hospital building grew smaller in the rear view mirror, so did Bailey's anxiety, paving way to excitement and muted curiosity. Her mother always had told that fate had a way of intervening when it was needed - and her mom had oftentimes taken up the role onto herself, moving them out of the state when Bailey's soulmark began to appear on dead people's bodies, burned or cut into skin as a signature. Bailey was not old enough to understand what it meant, back then, but she'd always been a clever girl.

With her first mobile device, she figured out why her mother strictly prohibited her from speaking about it, why her mother always kept a stash of large bandaids to cover it should Bailey be required to remove her long-sleeve shirt.

Only Bailey's physician knew. She'd expected terror, disgust - or even pity, but Dr. Strange always kept his mouth and eyes shut. As Bailey grew older, blossomed into a fine young woman, she thought she saw envy leak into his chiseled features - but Dr. Strange was as quiet and cynical as ever.

As long as nobody tried to separate them, it would be fine. A small smile stretched her plush lips, hand squeezing the one holding hers with giddiness creeping into her youthful features. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed an expression of curious tranquility on Dr. Banner's- Bruce's face as his eyes stayed firmly on the road as the radio crackled static in-between songs.

"Penny for your thoughts?" The man she'd grown to crave and fear, his salt and pepper curls bouncing with every pothole the car hit; his warm hand, larger than hers by a stretch, provided comfort she hadn't known she needed.

"Where to, doc?" The woman couldn't hold back the anticipation. She wanted to hold him, to be close - closer than her small, cramped cheap car allowed them to be.

"I have some friends waiting for me," the man announced, as if he hadn't spent the last five years in a maximum security prison. Not that it mattered to Bailey - but knowing there was no way back from this, Bruce's so-called friends became a point of doubt to the young woman. The doctor noticed it, his responding smile both dangerous and comforting, all sharp canines and moist lips. "You know them, baby. Dr. Strange is a colleague of mine and Tony Stark is a great friend."

Bailey's eyebrows rose, mild disbelief caught somewhere in her trachea as she attempted to clear her throat. Her family physician and the businessman rumoured to be the largest crime boss of their side of the pond. Suddenly, Strange's long glances and penetrating stares acquired a new meaning, a sense of indignation seeping into Bailey's newly found joy. "And he never said anything," the longing, the countless nights spent studying every publicly available material on Dr. Banner, the killer surgeon that terrorised the Tri-State area burned acrid in her chest.

"He told everything to me," Bruce's remark stung if only from the fact that he'd known about her all along. "Who, do you think, pushed for your transfer to St. John's?" Bruce's smile glinted a little wicked in the meager light of passing-by streetlights as the evening sun simmered down to a rest below the horizon. "I don't actually have cancer," the second remark was more optimistic, spoken hopefully, with another gentle squeeze to her hand.

Bailey puffed out a breath she didn't know she was holding. The puzzle pieces slowly started to arrange themselves, revealing a bigger picture than the one before. She wanted to be mad - mad at Stephen, for not saying anything; mad at Bruce, for getting himself caught years prior. And the anger at her own mother, for taking away her right to stand by her soulmate, for all the countless fights and nights spent locked up in her room.

Bailey had been treated like a monster as soon as he soulmark showed up - and after so much time spent trying to show she wasn't one, perhaps, it was time to face the truth. Perhaps, it was time to show them how much of a monster she could be, if they were so unhappy before.

Gravel flew under the wheels of Bailey's beaten up Toyota Corolla, sending little pebbles to bang noisily against the bumper and the stone flower beds surrounding the driveway to a large two-story mansion. Two cars stood in from of it with two men leaning each against their own vehicle.

The shorter figure was well-dressed, suit obviously bespoke and expensive, sunglasses reflecting the headlights of her Toyota even from a distance away. The taller figure stood out with familiarity, a lit cigarette freely dangling between the finger of his gesturing hand - Dr. Strange and his long, sculpted legs, Bailey could recognise even from a mile away.

Bruce parked, killing the engine and exiting the car with a free, lopsided grin carelessly thrown in Bailey's direction. Fumbling with the lock of her seatbelt, the woman's eyes latched onto the figure of her soulmate eagerly embracing the shorter man, their reunion evidently long-awaited and happy. Stephen's coarse laugh penetrated the interior of the car as the wacky passenger side seatbelt finally let Bailey free.

Three pairs of eyes bore into her body still wearing the scrubs from the hospital - one laughing, Strange was amused; one curious - none other than Tony Stark and his shameless smirk had made an appearance at their first getaway destination; and Bruce, looking so damn proud and lovesick. The grin tugged at Bailey's lips as the presence of the other men barely registered in her elevetaed emotional state.

"Damn, Brucie-bear, lucky you," Tony Stark wolf-whistled, clapping the doctor on the shoulder and receiving a fond eyeroll in return. Those two really were good friends. "Well, I won't hold you two back from getting to know each other better," Stark wiggled his eyebrows salaciously. "We can talk business tomorrow," with that, Stark waltzed over to Bailey, snatching the keys to her car out of her hands with a quick flick of his wrist. "Can't have a car allegedly containing a runaway prisoner on my property, now can I? Don't worry, babycakes, my people will take care of it. Bruce is family. You better treat him well, or else," the river of words flowed from Tony's mouth, causing the surprised Bailey to simply freeze in place and withstand his rambling, surrounded by the smell of whiskey and Stark's expensive cologne.

Despite his easy tone and the relaxed demeanor, Bailey knew a dangerous man when saw one. Tony Stark was not to be fucked with. "Yeah," she mumbled, scampering for the trunk to take out the duffle bag she carried around everywhere - just in case. Just in case her serial-killing, incarcerated-for-life soulmate would somehow found his way to her.

Tony looked at the spectacle with amusement. "You won't need your ID, sweetheart. All of that is going to be taken care of, don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"Duly noted," Bailey couldn't help the annoyed frown at Tony's frivolousness. Her government ID was the last thing on her mind. She wasn't stupid, she knew her mother would go to the cops as soon as she saw the news. "I have my own business to attend to. Might need a hand," the realization came with the dull thud of the trunk being slammed shut.

Tony's eyebrows rose; Bruce approached her with caution, wrapping an arm around her waist from behind. "Is it urgent?"

"Her mother knows about their connection," Strange piped up, glowing ember of the cigarette flying somewhere over the car. The sound of a lighter followed immediately, another dot of shiny red standing out in the twilight. "Don't worry, Bailey, she's detained and sedated for the time being," he offered with a crooked smirk, nearly no trace of the quiet man who bandaged her boo-boos when she was a child.

"You planned this," Bailey observed, fighting the dread crawling up her spine. The realization - she will never step back, will never be able to escape this life - set in. She was unprepared, having acted on a whim, prepared to live on the run but not within an arm's reach of her previous life yet unable to resume it.

"A long time ago," Strange nodded. "You always were a clever girl, Bailey. It is delightful to finally you where you belong," he smiled at Bruce in earnest.

Bailey wondered what else was going on in the sleepy town of hers. What kind of atrocities were committed daily under her nose, by the very people she knew and trusted. There was so much evil in this world.

But not Bruce. He could never be evil, even as he cut the hearts out of the men that had been treating those around them as objects. Bruce merely made them what they should've been; the greed, the infidelity - what use did those men have for their hearts? The Doctor was merciful and true: he never caused his patients undue pain and always, always left them in a state they were true to themselves. It wasn't his fault so many of his patients were heartless beasts for men.

Those clever hands, the same hands that brought the world at his feet, brought Bailey at his - voluntarily so. Their bodies hot, impatient for each other, with their blood singing a song of lust and longing, both of them hidden from the world by the heavy velvet curtains of Tony's estate - it was hellfire in heaven.

No amount of time too long as Bruce's teeth closed around Bailey's jugular, sinking into the flesh tenderly, all the while her nails penetrated the skin of his back; both drew blood, content to drown in it and wash their sins away with it. Heaven and Hell were merely words for the two, anyway.

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[nightshade-minho]

-Embers- (2)

warnings: heavy-ish suggestiveness, future smut, themes of heartbreak and pain, mentioned parent death, jealousy, angry fathers.

wc: 5.7k

Heartbreak.

It's something you've thought about, in theory. You've wondered how it feels to be heartbroken, especially when you were younger, when almost everything was of interest to your curious brain. Could a heart break? What exactly did that mean? 

Mr Yang's novels were your first introduction to characters who'd gone through that pain. His books had described it as a perpetual feeling of hurt, one which a person would never get over. You wondered if it was even possible to experience pain like that. Pain so bad you felt your heart shattering.

You still remembered that day you thought about it properly for the first time.

***

You shut your book and looked over at Minho, who had been cloudgazing as he waited for you to finish it. Days like this were common. Minho would get you a new book every week, and the two of you would go to the lake and laze around in the sun. You often worried that Minho would find it boring to sit next to you while you read, having nothing to do. On the contrary, he was quite content with the way things were. He liked how warm the grass felt against his skin, and how calming the sounds of rippling water were as he rested his head against Aeracus’s side.

"Wow. That definitely didn't end on a good note." You shook your head, letting out a sigh and laying back.

Minho glanced up at you, sitting up slightly. "You finished it? So soon?"

"Mhm. I got a little too invested in the story."

"Ah. If I'd known you would read it this fast, I would have borrowed more than one from him."

"It's okay, I can wait a few days.' You say, your tone reassuring as you placed Mr Yang's precious book next to you on the grass, carefully. The man put great care into binding and writing his books, all by hand with no one to assist him. You didn’t want to be the one to soil his hard work.

"Good, cause I'm not going back there so soon. There's three girls who have basically set up camp outside Mr Yang's to catch a glimpse of me."

You rolled your eyes, playfully shoving him. "You act like you're a celebrity or something. We get it, you have a lot of fangirls."

"And fanboys. Some of them are quite cute actually. Just last week a dude proposed to me."

"No way. He proposed?"

"Yeah." He let out a low chuckle. "I think I recognized him from the docks. Seen him once or twice, but I've never said a word to him. I felt bad though, he was actually pretty."

"You should have said yes." You pouted, holding back a giggle. "I've always wanted to be maid of honor at a wedding."

Minho shook his head, sitting up and scooting over. Grabbing your waist, he pulled you into him, so that the both of you were curled up against his sleeping dragon.

"Maid of honor?"

"Yeah! I mean, what's the point of having a best friend if you don't get to play that crucial role in their wedding?"

Minho sighed, looking over at you with a fond smile as he bit his cheek. "Oh Y/n, what am I going to do with you? Maid of honor." He chuckled again at the exaggerated pout you flashed him, poking his side. “What’s so funny?”

There was silence for a few minutes as he looked up at the sky, eyes running over a cloud that looked a little like a five-pointed star. Humming, he leaned in a little.

A short inhale before he whispered into your ear, lips brushing against the shell of it and making your hairs stand on end.

"I hate to break it to you Y/n, but you'll never be maid of honor at my wedding." He mumbled softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Cause you'll be the bride."

For a minute, a stunned look passed over your face as you comprehended his words. It took a whole 60 seconds for you to process, but soon you swatted at his hand, descending into a fit of hopeless giggles at his cheesy line. "Shut up!"

"Hey! I was being serious." he had an offended look on his face as he held your chin, making you face him again.

You looked at his expression and stopped, your cheeks flushing as you realized he meant it. Your heart was racing, your eyes blinking rapidly as your mushy mess of a brain tried to figure out what an appropriate, mature response would be.

Quickly you pushed him off you, stumbling to your feet and beginning to run. So much for being mature.

"Race you home!"

Minho watched you run, shaking his head and sighing to himself as he slowly picked himself up. If only you knew how sincere he was.

If only he knew your heart hadn't stopped pounding for the rest of the night.

Mr Yang's books had been the main contribution to your adolescent fantasies, to be honest. As the local librarian, he supplied you with a regular supply of books, but none were as satisfying as the ones he wrote himself. His writing was descriptive on another level, and pulled you in like no other author could. He was your greatest inspiration, which was why his description of heartbreak had been the one to stick with you the most, all the way to adulthood.

It was described as a lingering emotion in the back of your head, staying with you your whole life to remind you of what could have been. It was nauseating, painful and everlasting. He'd written about the emotion so intensively, that at the time you almost felt like you did truly know how it felt.

You were wrong.

Heartbreak, real heartbreak, was a lot less pain and a lot more emptiness. Yes, it did feel like all those things mentioned before- but there was more to it than that. Your heart, which had been brimming with excitement and happiness not too long ago, felt void. Dark, lifeless. It had been so sudden, so out of the blue that your emotions were a confused jumble.

Of course, there was pain too- agony, more like. Ripping through your entire being as you watched him kiss her cheek yet again. It was so all consuming, so terrifyingly excruciating.

You were across the dinner table by your father's side, the spoon in your hand held in a tight grip as you tried your best to avert your eyes from the sight. After all, you were currently sat at the table with three other chiefs and their families, as well as a few advisors and high ranking guards. You had to look refined and elegant, a person befitting the title of Ember’s heir- not a gawking, bitter girl staring at your once lover canoodling with his fiancée.

Finally managing to tear your eyes away, you let your eyes run over the guests that would be staying with you for the next few weeks. You reminded yourself that you were in no position to be a dejected, woeful and pathetic individual in front of all these important people. Appearances had to be kept up, or you would face dire consequences. Your father’s pride was hurt enough as it is, what with his daughter being the only one who couldn’t participate in the championships. You didn’t want to give him any more reasons to hate you.

Next to your father was the Aqua chief, his wife and their daughter- Minho’s fiancée. They were dressed in blue silks, dripping with sapphires and lapides lazuli. The royal blue draped around them was deep, the fabric clearly expensive and not too unlike the dress you were wearing currently. 

The Aqua heiress was the spitting image of her mother, both their faces round and their features pretty. She was dressed similarly to her parents, with a tiny diadem upon her brown locks, her gown objectively fancier than yours. She continued talking to Minho, the plate of food in front of her untouched.

Minho.

You hated how beautiful he looked, dressed in white and grey. His uniform was simple, all clean lines and crisp edges. It suited him perfectly, like it was made for him. Which it probably was. 

The two of them seemed to be in their own little world as Minho whispered something into her ear, making her giggle yet again. Your throat felt clogged. Blinking, you quickly looked away from them, your eyes landing on Minho’s father. He looked the same as he always did, except now slightly frailer. He was wearing the same uniform as his son, although he didn’t quite fill it out the same way. You chewed on your lip, glancing at him one last time before turning to the Terra family. 

The Terra chief was a rotund, pot-bellied man who had his attention completely focused on his plate, not contributing much to the conversation the three other chiefs were having. You couldn’t blame him, really- the maids had cooked up a delightful feast. You were sure you’d have devoured your entire plate by now if circumstances had been different. The empty feeling in your stomach was making it hard to savour the roast beef, which you reluctantly ate. 

He and his wife were both dressed in earthly, neutral tones combined with deep greens- and positively covered in every kind of jewel found under the Earth. The rubies on your dress looked like chili flakes in comparison to the twinkling emeralds and gems on the Terra family.

Their son, the Terra heir, looked just as miffed as you, to be honest. He wasn’t as bejewelled as his parents, wearing a shade of green that provided you comfort as you looked at him. It reminded you of the grass near the lake you and Minho once frequented.

He caught your gaze suddenly. Smiling, his heart-shaped lips curving upwards. He shot a glance towards Minho and his girl, and then back at you, raising an eyebrow.

You tried your best to smile back, or give him a knowing wink, or something. But all you could do was stare blankly, your emotions having been sucked out of you. You still failed to comprehend what had happened, your brain seemingly giving up on you and leaving you alone with nothing but your broken heart for company.

Soon enough, the smile melted away from the man's face, and he looked back down at his plate, a little dejected. You felt a flash of regret, fleeting however as you suddenly felt a sharp voice whispering in your ear.

You looked up in confusion at your father, who had previously been immersed in a conversation with Minho’s father and the Aqua chief. Now his face was right by your ear.

"Number one, stop staring. You’re lucky I’m the only one who noticed. Number two, stop by my office before you go to sleep tonight, okay? It’s important." He said, voice stern.

Gulping and nodding, you watched as he turned away, diving right back into the conversation he was having. What did he possibly want to talk about? You rarely talked to your father these days, unless arguments could be counted.

You spent the rest of the meal in contemplation, staring down at your plate. Your hand moved methodically, shoving food into your mouth without actually tasting anything; All you could taste was regret.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. Despite not looking up, her giggle still pierced your ears from time to time, stabbing you deep in the heart. You'd seen it...the way Minho had been looking at her. He'd once reserved such looks for you and you only. Turns out, every meaningful word he'd said back then were lies. Every promise of forever had been empty.

A small part of you reminded yourself that it wasn't his fault he was kicked out from your village. He’d thought you didn’t oppose your father, and simply watched as he and his father was humiliated. Were you being irrational in expecting him to have stayed single until he came back to you? Hell, was it stupid to think he could even bear to glance at you after what your father had did?

Life was unpredictable, nothing was written in stone. How could he even have known he'd ever be in the same room as you again?

No. Y/n, don't do this. Don't force yourself to make up excuses for him. The man had barely cast a glance at you since he arrived. His eyes had been cold and stony the only time you'd made eye contact. 

Besides, if he really knew you, he would have known you wouldn’t betray him like that. And if he really loved you, he would have waited. He wouldn’t have moved on so easily. 

It was still fresh in your mind, despite having happened a few hours ago, now. The way you’d felt your hopes and dreams shattering to the ground in a million pieces, all in a span of a few seconds. Your heart, vibrating so fast it was almost going to implode.

As you continued drowning in your emotions, reliving the pain you'd felt, you suddenly felt a pair of eyes burning into you, sharply. Confused, you looked up, expecting the Terra heir to be the one looking back at you.

It wasn't him.

Minho quickly looked away before you could react, going back to talking to the heiress. It had only been for a second, but you’d caught him.

He’d been staring. At you. For a second, the tiniest flash of hope lit up your heart. But it was gone quickly, as the Aqua chief started laughing boisterously at a question the Terra chief's wife had asked.

"Yes, Jisu and Minho are deeply in love, Calandra. Honestly. Why would they be getting married otherwise?" He smiled, looking over at the two who had stopped talking to listen.

"This one-" He ruffled his daughter's head, chuckling. "She was so smitten. Kept sneaking out past the border to meet him. Of course when I found out, I was more than happy to let them join hands. I couldn’t imagine a son better than Minho to marry my little girl."

"That's sweet." You glanced up at your father as he said the words. He seemed to be gritting his teeth in slight vexation, the annoyance on his face clear. At least, to you it was.

"The wedding will take place a month after the championships." Minho's father said suddenly, smiling proudly as he grabbed a glass of wine. "You're all invited, of course. It will take place at my village. Now, raise a glass for the happy couple!"

A few claps sounded as everyone at the table raised their glasses. You carefully avoided Jisu's shy smile and Minho's confident smirk, his arm wrapped around her shoulder firmly. As if she would break into a million pieces if he let go.

You hated that you knew exactly how he behaved when he was in love. And now you weren’t on the receiving end of his adoration. 

You weren’t used to this. 

Yes, you’d lived your life as normally as you could without him for the past few years...but this was different. He was right there, and yet he wasn’t yours. So close, but you couldn’t touch him. Couldn’t feel him. Couldn’t kiss his lips and tell him how much he meant to you.

Your eyes darted about as they tried to find an appropriate thing to focus your gaze on. You raised your glass like everyone else, downed the amber liquid a little faster than the rest. You refused to let yourself look at the two.

Your eyes landed on the Terra heir after a few seconds. You weren't completely sure what his name was, but you have a vague recollection of your father telling you everyone’s names. Of course, at the time you’d been too overcome with excitement to digest the information.

Felix? Yes, that was it.

He seemed sweet. Friendly, even. His smile was a little sympathetic as he looked back at you, and that threw you off. You decided to put a smile on your face immediately, trying to conceal the pain that you’d hoped wasn’t evident.

Your mind flitted back and forth as everyone’s plates gradually cleared up. What were you going to do after this? 

Originally, you'd been planning to go to Minho's room tonight. Fuck, you’d dreamed of how tonight would go for months now, ever since your father had told you the news. But how could you now? 

Everything was fucking disintegrating.

***

You walked down the hallway to your father's office, your heels clicking against the stone slabs. Your dress was starting to feel itchy, and you couldn’t wait to take it off. You resentfully recalled how excited you’d felt when your maids had helped you into it. How all you could think about was Minho seeing you in it. You’d never expected him to barely acknowledge you.

Sighing, you passed through the hallway, stopping when you heard a high-pitched giggle come out of nowhere.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you glanced around you in confusion. 

Another laugh, this one deeper, followed by what seemed like a...moan?

The pain came back full force, hurtling through you and overtaking you completely. As you walked, the sounds started to feel closer. You wished you could cover your ears to block them out, but at the same time you were consumed with curiosity. Was it what you think it was?

Suddenly, you heard another sound. Now, it was clear where they were coming from.

The sounds were from beyond the door that led to your father's old bedroom, the one he used to share with your mother before she died. You frowned, puzzled as you walked closer to the door.

Had he really given away that room to Minho and his fiancée? It hadn't been used in years, and had always been covered up and inaccessible. Even the maids weren’t allowed to clean in there. It was the biggest bedroom in the house, and the thought of it occupied by them was causing fresh tears to prick at your eyes. 

You felt the lump in your throat make itself more prominent, blinking rapidly as your heart pounded. Suddenly, your legs started moving of their own accord.

Before you knew it, you were stood in front of the large door, your hand raised and knocking firmly on the gilded wood as you swallowed.

There was complete silence for a second or two, but then there were scrambling noises, along with the sound of rustling bedsheets. You tried to calm the beating of your heart, as you waited for the door to open.

When it finally did, you felt like your heart was almost about to burst out of your chest.

She was the one who opened it. She was clearly half naked, having pulled on a blue robe hastily. Running a hand through her hair, she greeted you, her voice a little shaky.

"Oh- um, hello…” She pressed her lips together, glancing behind her for a second. You followed her gaze, to Minho on the bed.

He was shirtless, his hair messed up and his eyes carefully trained on the wall beside him, away from you. You swallowed again, tears threatening to spill past your eyes as you quickly tried to turn your attention back to the woman in front of you.

Too late. She'd noticed. She frowned at you, subtly moving to the side a little to cover Minho from your view.

"I know we haven't formally met yet. I'm Choi Jisu, the Aqua heiress. I’m sure you know." She smiled, albeit a little forced. "And I did want to thank you for letting us stay-"

There was an impatient grunt from behind her, and she looked behind back briefly before turning to you once more.

"Um, I don’t know if you noticed, but I was kind of in the middle of something. Sorry." She tried her best to hide her smile, her voice heavily insincere. “Let’s talk later, Y/n. And maybe next time you won’t be interrupting anything.” She smiled, beginning to close the door.

"Later." 

You just stood there dumbfounded, not knowing how to reply. Your face was passive but your brain was overrun with thoughts. The tears would spill any minute now. 

She frowned at your reaction, tilting her head before gently shutting the door in your face.

You just stood there for a moment. You could hear Minho's voice, muffled as he said something to her.

A part of you wanted to press your ear to the door and listen, but you already looked pathetic enough to the guards standing in the hallway, one of them already having flashed you a sympathetic look. You were really having enough of all this fucking sympathy.

Sighing, you dragged your feet away, trying to push everything down, but to no avail. There were too many enotions, and they were too heavy to even let you think. 

You thought back to her behaviour. You'd definitely picked up on her attitude, which had soured after she’d caught you looking at her fiancé. Jisu wasn’t a fan of you, that much was clear. And neither was the person who’d once declared himself your biggest fan. Ironic, really.

***

“Who was at the door?” Minho asked carefully, although he’d already seen you. Standing there, looking at him. 

You’d looked smaller, vulnerable. So, so different. Almost alarmingly so.

He tried to best to keep his tone even, eyes trained on Jisu as she slunk back to the bed, having shut the door.

“The Ember heiress.” She said, a slight sting to her tone. “Why do you think she came?” She asked, raising an eyebrow as she sat on the edge of the bed.

“I...don’t know.” Minho muttered, staring at the bedsheets. His heart was clenching, hands starting to shake a little. 

No. Not in front of Jisu.

“Weren’t you two ‘best friends’ once?” She asked carefully, having picked up on his icy behavior. Jisu knew, of course. Despite Minho and you trying to keep it a secret, at one point the entire village came to know the two of you were in love. The information had even spread across the village, to others. 

Of course, the chiefs were the only ones who’d been clueless, only finding out after they’d been separated.

Minho scoffed, shaking his head. He gestured to her, hooking his fingers under his boxers to pull them down. “Forget that. Come back here, baby.”

Jisu raised an eyebrow, looking like she wanted to say more. However, Minho’s almost naked body was difficult to resist.

Shrugging, she slid her robe off, letting the silk fall to the floor as she straddled him. His hands ran up her hips, watching her, feeling her. 

His brain, however, felt like it was a million miles away.

***

The tears ran down your face. You were no longer able to hold them back. Realizing you were probably about to break down in the middle of the hallway, you walked faster towards the office- 

Until you bumped into someone on the way, almost knocking them over.

“Woah, woah, slow down.” Felix chuckled, holding onto your arms to keep you on your feet.

You looked up at him, blinking as you registered what you’d just done. “Fuck- I’m so sorry-”

“No, it’s okay.” He smiled, realizing his hands were still on you. He quickly took them away, tucking them into his pockets. His cheeks were dusted a light pink as he cleared his throat, looking at you in concern.

You quickly wiped away your tears, but Felix had unfortunately already noticed.

“Hey, are you okay? I noticed... I noticed you didn’t seem so happy at the dinner.” He said softly, looking down at you. 

You remained silent, staring at the floor as you wondered how to reply. You didn’t want to seem any more pitiable than you already were.

“Uh, it’s okay if you don’t want to say anything. I’m sorry if I overstepped.” He shook his head, stepping back slightly. His voice was almost more nervous than yours. “Um, I’ll leave you be now. Sorry-”

You looked up, sighing. “Wait…” 

Felix looked back, an expectant, almost hopeful look on his face. You didn’t want to let him down, you really didn’t...but it was difficult to pretend like you were okay. You were shivering, biting on your lip. You already felt humiliated enough.

“Sorry. I...I need to go, I’m sorry.” You mumbled, quickly walking away from a bewildered Felix. As soon as you turned the corner, you breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall as your body shuddered. 

You’d never cried like this, not even when Caeli had died. Not even when Minho had left, because back then you’d still possessed some kind of hope. Hope that just wasn’t there anymore.

Rubbing your cheeks, you managed to get rid of the tear stains. You hoped your eyes weren’t too red- you weren’t ready for any comments from your father today. Breathing in, you continued walking, still massaging your eyes in a desperate bid to get them dry.

You groaned as you noticed you’d reached your father’s office quicker than you thought you would. Inhaling deeply, you tried to pull yourself together. You really didn’t like showing weakness in front of him, but lately that was all you did.

You knocked on the door carefully, waiting for him to open the door.

“Door’s open, come in.”

You pushed open the heavy oak door, stepping in.

"Y/n. Finally. Where have you been?"

"Nowhere important." You said quickly, clearing your throat. "Um... you said you wanted to see me, dad?"

He cleared his throat. "Yes." He rearranged the files on his desk quickly, standing and coming over to lean on the front of his desk. He sighed, screwing his face up in thought as he wondered where to start.

"I can’t believe Lee really scored a marriage for his son. Do you know what this means? A heir marrying an heiress? They'll possess power we can’t even begin to imagine." He paced back and forth, clenching his fists in barely concealed anger. You rolled your eyes slightly. Of course your father thought it was a ploy to gain power. He’d never believed in love, and most probably never will.

“So?” 

"So? So?!” He shook his head. “See, this is exactly why the villagers think you’re too incompetent.” He glared, making you cower. Your heart pounded quicker, your lips pressing together. No more tears, you had to control them.

“Look, Y/n...I’ll put it plain and simple. Ember has been the most powerful for centuries. We’ve always had the strongest dragons, and the sturdiest men. Our village is the largest in the country, and all eyes are on us.”

He pinched his forehead. “Do you know how embarrassing it is that Ember’s heiress, the one who should be the most powerful of all, is nothing but a lovesick, pathetic little girl who doesn’t even have a fucking dragon to compete with?!”

You blinked, sniffing as you stared at the floor. You could always count on your father to reinforce negative emotions. His eyes burning into you, chest heaving in anger. 

He sighed, watching as your shoulders shook slightly. Softening a little, he inhaled. It always went that way. He’d blow up at you, and subsequently regret it. He couldn’t take back anything he said, though.

“Sorry, child.” You remained silent, looking up a little. His face seemed sincere enough.

“Hm. I have an idea..." He mumbled, placing a finger on his chin. You could almost see the cogs and gears turning in his brain.

"What did you think of Felix? Nice boy, isn't he?"

You frowned at your father's words, his expression seeming innocent...but his intentions clearly weren't.

"The Terra heir?" You asked, sighing. "He seems nice. Why are you asking?"

"No reason." He shrugged, fiddling with the Ember figurine on his desk.

You groaned, rubbing your forehead. "Dad...don't tell me you want to marry me off to him."

"What?? No!" Your father shook his head vehemently, still playing with the figurine and avoiding your eyes. "I was just thinking. Uh-"

He looked back at you and sighed. "Okay, I'm sorry. But...just consider it, okay? An arranged marriage...an alliance between Ember and Terra could be phenomenal."

You pursed your lips, flashes of Minho and Jisu running through your head as you thought it over. Fuck it, why not? It wasn’t like you had any reason to oppose him. "Fine, dad. I’ll think about it, but I’m not promising anything. Besides, I don’t even know if he’s interested in me."

"I saw the way he was looking at you from across the table, child. He definitely has some curiosity, at the very least.” He hummed. “Anyway, that's actually not why I called you here."

You raised an eyebrow, confused as he went back to his seat, sitting down and pulling up a large, dusty book.

"Look...I'm worried. There's something ominous about this. Their marriage...it poses too many conveniences and benefits for both the chiefs to be a mere coincidence.”

You frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

He looked to be deep in thought. When he heard you speak, he snapped back to attention, shaking his head. "I’m not sure yet. Now, even if I managed to convince Farran to get his child married to you, it still doesn’t provide us power directly. Without a dragon, it’s likely they’ll make you reside in the Terra village once this is all over.” He hummed, looking like he was talking to himself rather than addressing you. “No...we need a reason to make you stay here. You’re an Ember heiress, the future chief of this legendary village. However, you definitely need to look the part. You need to prove to everyone that you’re powerful, Y/n. Shatter their expectations...and mine.” He smiled, gesturing for you to come closer.

 “I was wondering...do you want to participate in the championships?"

Your eyes widened impossibly, your words stuttering as you moved forward. You couldn’t believe your ears, not one bit. It sounded too good to be true.

“Wait- really?”

“Yes.”

“But...but I don’t have a drag-”

“You can participate with Aeracus.”

No. No way. For the first time since the welcoming, you felt true happiness overtake you. Jumping, you squealed in delight, barely able to hide your glee. “Oh my god, thank you, dad! Thank you so so much.”

He chuckled as he watched you, flipping a page. “This has never been done before, so expect some backlash. I’m sure once they see the bond you have with Aeracus though, they’ll change their minds.”

You couldn’t believe it. Your father, the most skeptical dragon purist the world had ever seen, was acknowledging your bond.

“But...what about Minho?”

“Aeracus is no longer his dragon, Y/n. He has a new one.” Of course, you’d noticed. The huge black dragons he and his father had been riding. You felt a sensation of unease drift through you as you thought about the creatures, the likes of which you’d never seen before. 

New lover, new dragon. He’d really left this place behind.

“Something’s off about those dragons.” He voiced the exact same concern you had. “They’re up to something. I just don’t know what.” He turned back to his book, taking his quill back up. “I’ll find out, though. Somehow. Now, go to sleep, kid. You have a big day tomorrow, now that you’re actually participating.”

You nodded, excitement coursing through your veins. “Sure, dad. Have a good night.” You bowed and turned around, your steps a lot lighter as you headed to your room, which was close by.

Reaching your room, you pushed open the door, smiling as you noticed Sylvia fast asleep at your dressing table. Moving slightly closer, you gently nudged her awake.

“Wha- I-” She shot up, mouth open as she bowed to you. “I’m so sorry, ma’am, I was just arranging and-I’ll help you out of your dress, now-”

“Sh, it’s okay. Tonight’s been tiring. You deserve the rest.” You said sadly, patting her shoulder as a yawn left your mouth. “Go to sleep, and don’t come by tomorrow. I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself. I want you to relax, okay? Head to the docks, or buy yourself some bread in the square.” You opened a tiny drawer and handed a few coins to her, enough to get some sweetbread from the bakery.

She nodded thankfully. “You’re the best, ma’am.” She giggled, accepting the coins from you. 

“What have I told you about calling me ma’am? We’re the same age, Sylvia, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s Y/n to you.”

“Fine. Y/n.” She smiles, heading to the door. “Good night, Y/n.”

You grinned widely at that. You loved how easygoing she was, unlike Ann, your head maid. You weren’t royalty, and hated being treated as such. A friend was all you needed, to be honest. And Sylvia managed to fill the best friend sized hole Minho had left behind, somewhat. 

She closed the door behind her, and you sighed, flopping down onto your soft bed and beginning to slip off your heels and the heavy dress, carefully placing it on a rack. The moon shone extra bright today, and you noticed the streets outside were still lit up with lanterns. Soon, they’d be turned off, and the streets would be quiet once more, except for a few drunken stragglers that didn’t want to stop celebrating.

And you would be left alone with your thoughts.

You slid yourself underneath your covers, sighing as you stared at the moon. In the distance, you could see a few dragons and their riders, flying through the air. They were quite far away, possibly near the outskirts. 

Tomorrow, you’d be able to ride Aeracus like that, after so many years. Every time Minho had let you climb atop his dragon, it had just felt like it was meant to be. Deep down, you felt bad, though...for Caeli, for Minho. However, it was just the plain truth.

You smiled as you decided to buy Aeracus a bunch of treats tomorrow. Ostrich eggs, phoenix meat- you were planning to go all out. He deserved it, after all.

In a way, tonight had possibly been the worst night of your life, and simultaneously the best. Your heart felt pulled in two, as you closed your eyes and willed yourself to sleep.

You had a big day tomorrow.

#minho smut #minho angst #lee know smut #lee know angst #felix fluff #stray kids smut #skz smut #skz angst #skz series #stray kids series #minho imagines #minho scenarios #lee know imagines #lee know scenarios #lee know x reader #felix x reader #minho x reader #minho fluff

[arofili]

i haven't read the silmarillion or anything related but i was wondering how do elves's fëas work?? like i read somewhere about them sharing this fëa bond with people they marry so their fëas meet and that's what makes the marriage marriage in the first place. but im not really sure about that, don't people's fëas normally touch even if they're not married? and what happens if they do touch? this is weirdly specific but im just curious,,,you don't have to answer if you don't want to ofc! thank you if you do answer my curiosities haha and you still don't, ty too! (i asked you this bc i feel like you have a lot of knowledge about elfs)

Hey anon! So, a lot of what you're talking about is fanon, though it does have basis in canon. From "Laws and Customs among the Eldar" we learn about fëar and hröar and elvish (largely Noldorin, to be specific) marriage customs.

It's worth noting, though, that LaCE underwent many revisions and is a highly dubious document as it was written in-universe by Aelfwine, a mortal from the 9th century CE who found the Straight Road to Valinor. That concept in and of itself is a framing device for Tolkien's "translation" of the Red Book into English, and isn't one he kept consistent throughout his writing or one he was ever fully satisfied with - it never made it into the texts published within his lifetime, and doesn't make an appearance in the published Silm, either. And as I said in a previous meta dealing with LaCE:

Maybe this is something Tolkien changed his mind on between writing LaCE and writing this section of what became the published Silm. Or maybe this is an in-universe distinction: the in-universe writer of LaCE is unclear but implied to be a human, not an elf, possibly Aelfwine; the writer of the Silm as we see it is Christopher Tolkien’s edits of JRRT’s translation of Bilbo’s translation of Noldorin loremasters, the chief of whom was Pengolodh. It’s complicated.

That being said:

LaCE doesn't actually offer that much information on the nature of elvish fëar in relation to marriage. We do get the quote that "It was the act of bodily union that achieved the marriage, and after which the indissoluble bond was complete." Since human concepts of marriage are mostly legal/social engagements, and by no means indissoluble, this strongly implies something different is going on with elven fëar when they marry, but it's not stated outright. Still, the wording of "bond" in relation to "marriage" gives rise to the fan-embellished concept of a "marriage bond" that is very popular in fic/meta about elf marriages.

This concept is further supported by the description that a "greater share and strength of their being, in mind and body" is required for elves to create children (when compared to Men). It implies a closeness between a married couple where their "minds" (aka fëar) are as involved in the child-making process as their bodies. Later it is specified that after marriage, elves remain individual people with individual "gifts of mind and body that differ" - a strange thing to emphasize if there was not the possibility for misconstruing married elves as becoming literally one being.

For elves, marriage is forever: the Valar state that "marriage resides ultimately in the will of the fëa." Yet later in the same paragraph, it is explained that elves who are re-embodied need to be married again, because marriage is also of the body and the first body had perished. Confusing!

There are more notes about fëar in this essay, and the concept is mentioned in other places as well, but that's the basic gist of the concept AFAIK. (I highly recommend perusing LaCE yourself if you're interested in this topic! And remember that this is fandom, you can accept or discard certain aspects of the document as you see fit. I know I do.)

Most of your questions deal in extrapolation from canon - I would argue there's a strong basis for the concept of a marriage bond in LaCE, but it's not explicitly spelled out. I can't give you firm answers, but here are my personal headcanons about fëar and bonds. Everything that follows is headcanon, unless I explicitly state otherwise.

Elves are born with bonds with their parents; these bonds are important for the health and happiness of a growing child. (There's another line in LaCE about how the parting of parents and children in their youth is "a grievous thing," which is my starting place for this particular headcanon.) I also think that they have bonds with their siblings, though this is less supported; I just think that living with and sharing parents with someone is likely to foster the slower/less formal creation of a bond. Twins, however, are born with strong bonds between one another, having shared a womb.

(I also think certain Unbegotten elves - aka the first 144 elves who awoke at Cuiviénen - came into being with bonds, thus allowing for Unbegotten elves to have siblings, like Elwë, Olwë, and Elmo. But you could also argue that, depending on how you deal with timelines, those three brothers are not Unbegotten and were born the "normal" way.)

Then there are chosen bonds. These are the kind we hear discussed (albeit vaguely) in LaCE. Marriage bonds specifically are formed when elves "unite in body" and invoke the name of Eru. My personal (aroace) take on this is that sex makes the process of bonding much easier and faster, the naming of Eru and the intent to bond is what's really important, so if a couple would rather not have sex they can still bond. And it also opens up room for debate on which specific sexual acts count when it comes to bonding, what would happen if Eru's name wasn't invoked, etc.

But I also think bonds can be created in contexts other than marriage - found family, for example. I've seen this most discussed in the context of Kidnap Dads, but it could apply in many scenarios: you decide you want X person to be part of your family, and that means you want to bond with them. In the case of orphaned children, if you go with the idea that they need a parent-child bond in order to develop properly, this could provide substitute/adoptive parents to fill that role. Or it could be that you feel like a certain person is your sibling, but you weren't born of the same parents, but you still want them to officially be your family, so you form a sibling-bond with them. These are bonds that occur without the ~physical union~, and therefore take more time and effort, and thus are less common - but they do happen.

All these bonds are basically the same in terms of function: they make ósanwë (mind-to-mind/telepathic communication) much easier and more natural, they connect two fëar together in an indissoluble way, they show a depth of commitment and love between the bonded eldar. But they are valued differently in society, and created/brought into being in different circumstances.

As for fëar "touching" - that is, in my opinion, poetic license for communication/closeness through such a bond. If you touch your spouse's fëa, for example, that's connecting with them to see how they're feeling, possibly passing along comfort or a message, etc. This "touching" is basically ósanwë, I guess? Which, in my headcanon, you can do if you're not bonded to someone, it just takes more effort and closer proximity if you don't have a bond in place.

Hope this helps, anon! Feel free to send in another ask if you have more questions!

#silm #silmarillion #silm meta #laws and customs among the eldar #lace #lace meta #tolkien meta #my meta #headcanons #fear and hroar #marriage bonds #my writing #tefain nin #long post #anon #answers