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sant-riley · 1 year

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[Ghost with OFC!Reader who has a toxic family] [p1 of ?]

A/N: straight up this is self indulgent/me projecting (like all my work is) bc it's comforting for me to imagine that I have someone to protect me from life bc wow this shit sucks. Not tagging anyone due to this potentially being triggering.

CW: toxic family dynamics, swearing, mental illness, simping, age gaps, definitely not professional, Ghost punches someone (let me know if there's anything else)

Now I don't even have to say that Simon is extremely sensitive when it comes to family, especially since he himself grew up in a toxic environment. He knows the signs because they're the signs he saw in his day to day life.

He knew something was up when you never want to go home when breaks come, any young Rookie is usually bouncing off the walls to go see their loved ones but you? You almost look depressed at the thought. Ghost may tell people he has a cold heart, but not when it comes to you. You wormed your way into his chest next to that said cold heart and now he can't help but worry. You're too young to have probably been in a place on your own, so no choice but to go back to the family home. He was in your shoes once, he too had joined the military to find a way out.

Ghost doesn't speak to people off duty, never has but things have changed. You, Soap, Gaz, Price? You all are the closest thing he will ever have to a family again, so against his better and usual judgment, he asks you if you'd like to stay with him at one of his safe houses.

"Runt, do you....for fucks sake, do you want to come back with me? Stay with me until our next mission."

"Oh! No, I'm fine Ghost, I'm alright to go home."

A smile on your lips but it doesn't reach your eyes. He feels his own turn down into a grimace.

"Teds, stop the shit for a second, yeah? I see that look on your face, you don't want to go back there."

He rests a skeleton glove covered hand on your shoulder, caressing the skin there with a thumb graze.

"I don't want to be a bother.'"

"You're never a bother sweetheart, c'mon then."

Staying with Ghost is, different to say the least. He takes you to his home in Manchester and goddamn the place is barely lived in, the only place that look used is his kitchen. He really lets you have free reign of the place, the only room not allowed is his bedroom. Not because he doesn't trust you rather it's just a personal thing.

Overtime the place filled with little traces of you, your hair ties liter the counters and tables, your laughter in the other room while you scroll on your phone. Hearing your footsteps run to area of the house so you can show him said video, the groceries you buy once you learn Ghost solely lives off of take out.

"Are you serious?"

"I work out to balance it."

"Ghost-"

It warms his chest to see you show so much concern over him, a man 6'4 who could easily snap your neck. He rustles your hair with a deep chuckle.

You try and not encroach on his space but he finds that he likes it. He likes seeing your shoes next to his at the doorway, he likes seeing you cook in his kitchen, he likes seeing you wake up groggy with crust in your eyes. He loves it all. Though he'd never admit it.

You make his house, now his home feel so much warmer and brighter. You insist on catching him up to the newest movies and shows, forcing him to sit down next to you to watch the newest Marvel movie while he pretends he hates it. He makes jokes in between that he could do better than that and that if he were there, he'd just put a bullet between the enemies eyes.

Seeing you fall asleep on his shoulder brings a peace to him, his arm around your shoulders as you nuzzle in closer. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve you. But he's gonna pretend he does, just for a little while longer.

Imagine his surprise when he meets your family for the first time. You had wanted to go home and get some things to bring back to his place so he came with you on a flight since he knows you don't care for air travel by yourself.

Ghost was used to his presence scaring people and warding people off. He knows how to keep people in line, its been his job for as long as he could care to remember. So he wasn't expecting them to treat you so horribly in front of him. Really, what'd they expect to happen. First mistake.

It's such a stark contrast you are in this place, from base, the field, to the woman in front of him. You curl into yourself, hands cracking in your hoodie pockets as you sit there and just take it, waiting for a break so you can speak. You're not looking at him or even making an attempt to talk back.

Ghost knows you're grown, he knows it's not his place but he feels his blood pressure get higher and higher as they scream and belittle you for things out of your control, your looks, your weight, telling to come back home, to leave the military, anything and everything under the sun. Second mistake. He can feel his knuckles turn a stark white under his gloves and it isn't until your sibling gets up in your face with a hand raised that he springs into action. Third mistake. Ghost is a big man, but he moves fast and unexpectedly.

Before he registered it, your sibling is on the floor clutching their stomach after being gut punched. He hears them heaving while trying to curse him out, looking up with him with hatred. Simon wants to take his heavy steel toed boot and kick the fuckers face. Hell, he wants to beat the ever living shit out of every single person in this fucking house. To think they can treat you like this? Over his dead body.

He hears your parents screaming about how dare he and that he's fucking insane but when he turns to look around at you, he sees you staring up at him with tear filled eyes and a whisper of thank you. In that moment he knows, he knows he'd do just about anything for you. He shoots a withering glare at your parents

"We're taking her shit and leaving." He barks out, his eyes burning a hole in their heads while they shakily nod and avoid looking at either of you.

Ghost grabs your hand and leads you towards your bedroom where he grabs anything he can bag and helps you stuff all your belongings into it, making sure you have everything until the room is completely cleared out.

Shuffling the bags on his arms, he holds your hand again and intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you out the house and towards the rental truck. Not taking one glance at the so called family watching you two.

"You're staying with me from now on, got it runt?"

The smile on your face is so bright when you say "Of course, L.T."

If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!

#ghost <3 #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #call of duty #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #tw toxic family #tw toxicity #kayla writes <3 #fem reader

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liesmyth · 1 year

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locked tomb characters ranked by how cringe they are

because this post by @wifegideonnav reminded me that they’re all losers, but some are even more losers than the others

Hot Sauce: 1/10. This girl is cool in all possible ways and definitely future lead researcher material. No cringe, zero notes.

Pyrrha: 2/10. By far the least cringe of The Olds. Yes her nicknames for Nona have dad joke energy but she’s very earnest about it and it’s cute.

Juno Zeta: 2/10. Total MILF. Very smart and should know better than to get flirty with We Suffer, but I get it.

Marta Dyas: 3/10. A complete badass with a very sensible outlook on avoiding unnecessary forms. Call me Judith because I would also make a pass at her at the first possible chance.

Commander Wake: 3/10. She made Pyrrha fall in love with her, seduced ever-loyal G1deon into hatefucking and galvanized a dying resistance movement. She was genuinely nice to Gideon those 3 seconds they interacted in passing! Then she had to go and hide under the bed of a mentally ill teenager.

Dulcinea: 4/10. Her horniness for revenge is epic. Let down Pal as nicely as she could and managed to outwit Cytherea when it mattered. Not cringe at all.

Camilla: 4/10. Yes, she could kill you in seconds but she did once sell cigarettes, her most liquid asset, for about a third of their market value.

Alecto: 4/10. Scary eldritch woman-shaped creature with a sword, comes highly recommended by Pyrrha Dve. Loses points for confusing Middle English and thinking John was the best possible Sailor Earth when he was clearly the worst.

G1deon: 5/10. Utterly willing to burn for what he believes in. Yes, he probably needs some perspective but he made sure the baby had enough air before kicking Wake out of the airlock and Matthias Nonius thinks he’s an okay dude.

Pash: 5/10. She has that freedom fighter swag and the cool hair but she is a terrible bodyguard coasting on nepotism, sorry to say.

Palamedes: 6/10. He didn’t clock the serial killer pretending to be his ex because he was too busy going to painfully extreme lengths to avoid interacting with her.

Naberius: 6/10. My controversial opinion is that Babs is the least cringe of the Third House throuple. Yes he looks and acts like a peacock but he puts up with Corona snacking on him for no reason and is still nice to her, and gives Ianthe solid romantic advice.

Nona: 6/10. Cringe in the unselfconscious way of a young teenager, and put this ability to use making Pal fess up to his nurse kink. She will never be cool but it’s part of her appeal.

Mercymorn: 7/10. Speaks in onomatopoeias. She knows she is insufferable so she’s gonna do her best to make sure to be the most insufferable person in every room. Once called John Gaius “the best man I who ever lived” to his smug face and not even blowing him up later makes up for that.

Ianthe: 7/10. Looks like a wet rat. Hopelessly dramatic but she pulls it off. Declares her love for Harrow at every turn in the most transparent possible way then pretends she’s just being snarky. Some cool points for actually getting shit done

Coronabeth: 7/10. Terrible taste in love interests. Her freedom fighter era was hot but she thinks pompadour hair is a good look? Also, the way she spent her whole life lying about necromancy speaks of extreme conflict avoidance. Cringe move.

Judith: 7/10. She deserved to suffer and has suffered more than she deserves. It’s cringe how she clings to her imperialist brainwashing but she gets a point for rightfully understanding she should be wary of Corona, something Ianthe still can’t even grasp.

Ortus: 7/10. Yes he quotes his own epic poetry WIP at people but he also had to grow up on the Ninth with nothing better to do. Genuinely a very nice guy.

Cytherea: 8/10. Her unhinged vibes are very hot but she killed a couple of nerds and two teenagers instead of anyone who was actually dangerous. Cringe of her!

Silas: 8/10. Smarmy cloud-looking motherfucker. He is a child Pope and I guess he can’t help the inherent cringe of the Eight. But that’s still no excuse for bringing a portrait of John all the way to Canaan House just to hang it in your bedroom, dude.

Gideon: 8/10. Babygirl is a horny virgin with the vocabulary of a nerd. Harrow is bones over tit in love with her and she fails to notice after living in Harrow’s brain for eight months. Gets points for managing to maintain impressive biceps on a diet with no protein.

Augustine: 9/10. Extremely cringe because of how hard he tries to pretend he’s not cringe. Cigarettes on a space station and effectively performing swag don’t make up for how much he clearly wants to suck John’s dick. Which he did at least twice.

Harrow: 10/10. Spent most of her life being mean to Gideon because she was too hot to deal with and lobotomized a coffee shop AU into existence. Thinks Ianthe Tridentarius is beautiful. Once built a bone cocoon to sleep in after not drinking water for two days. Should’ve told God months ago that she just didn’t want to eat his fucking biscuits and stop offering.

John: 10/10. Unfortunately, this scale only goes up to 10 but we all know it’s not enough. Deeply cringe in a myriad of ways, chiefly among them the way he inflicts his barely veiled incest kink on all his friends. That one dad joke was gold, though.

This was getting too long but for the record: Aiglamene is cool and so is Abigail Pent. Magnus is not cool but he’s a fun time. The Terrible Teens are exempt from judgement on account of being 14.

#i wrote this on my phone on the metro spelling what's spelling #will this finally be the post I send to L. to convince her to read the books?#tlt memes #the locked tomb #tlt

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weebsinstash · 16 days

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So fandom specific posts are to follow eventually, but this is going to be a general concept. I've been thinking A LOT on alternative takes to the red string of fate trope and I started wondering about a hypothetical idea of the strings changing in appearance based on the current health and mental well being of the person they're attached to, even to the point where the strings do not properly appear if you're in bad mental health

For example, some of these AUs have the string where you have to think about it to summon it whenever and you can follow it as long as you want, and some have the string only appear when you are within a certain proximity to your other half

First and foremost, what if, when your string appears, you could make it vanish again at will. Not like permanantly, but like, say, if your string keeps appearing and you don't want it to be used to track your physical location, you have to concentrate similar to using a specific muscle and you can "force them back" so they can't find you. Just imagining the growing frustrations of a yandere who has to wait until you fall asleep to even make progress on your actual location because otherwise it's, them summoning your string for about .5 seconds before you notice and shut that shit off immediately, like two people on opposite ends of the room both toggling switches for the same light

But anyways, back to the alternative appearance strings, could you then imagine a scenario where, your yandere has their string appear and after a certain length, it changes colors for the rest of the strand, signifying your string and your own well-being, and the color immediately signifies something incredibly serious and worrying to them that immediately has them speeding to your side to check on you even if they've never met you before, regardless of if it's a couple blocks over or if they have to follow that string across the world. And then you can pair that with the "string blocking" idea and you have an extremely frantic yandere who is freaking out, "my soulmate is in trouble, why won't they let me come help them?! This is why they need me!!!" Amd they KNOW you are deliberately holding them off so, whatever aspects from that, whether it's a sadistic yandere who is amused by your spunk, or a nurturing yandere who automatically takes this as affirmation that you're just a sweet nervous little bean who needs their guidance, look at you being so scared of your own soulmate you silly little goose--

I only have two alternative colors, technically three different ideas total, but, I considered the idea of someone's string slowly turning white and becoming more visibly frayed if someone is seriously ill and or dying, eventually snapping and disappearing upon true death, and I thought it would be interesting if this "physical health symptom" also manifested for suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation. Your yandere has your half of the string appear connected to theirs and they IMMEDIATELY know you're in trouble and they come to find you at all costs and you're... so depressed you can't even be excited to meet them and may even still want to die and just tell them to go away. Your yandere all but kicks down your door, "honey I'm here and I'm ready to love you!

Continuing from that last point, the other idea I'm really growing attached to that is probably my favorite is the idea of the BLUE string of fate: a string that appears on someone who is currently not within the right mental state to be in love or needs some sort of help or time to heal from a trauma before they are ready. Your other half tries to summon their string? The other end of it cuts off mid-air and hangs off their hand, leading nowhere, useless, unable to be followed, only a couple inches of blue their only hint if they even have a soulmate at all, but it can't lead them to you, driving them crazy who you are and where you are

I also considered the idea for alternate colors if two people are soulmates but they have, shall we say, an alternative dynamic? Like you could also technically use the blue string (although i personally think green or elsewise for this example would work better) for like, two aromantic people who are platonic soulmates or that have some incredibly strong nonromantic nonsexual love for someone? Or if you had, say, an aroace or just aro person and their soulmate was an allosexual of some kind. Idk it just sounds intriguing to play around with the concepts since you know, there's more than just romantic and platonic love and it can be an extremely nuanced feeling and love also doesn't inherently translate into sexual desires as another aspect and in this essay I will--

Either way, I feel like once I interact with certain tropes for another years, I wanna start throwing some seasonings in there. Spice up this bitch and saute it. I'm out here giving ABO a broader range of vocalizations to the point Omega can make clicking "distress call" noises to signal for help when trapped or injured. I'm over here "what if scenting could be done with any physical touch and the nature of the scent can be intentionally controlled to convey certain feelings so your yandere Alpha could give you a friendly shoulder pat and suddenly you're walking around with Don't Touch My Mate Or I'll Fucking Kill You scent all over you and you have no idea"

I just. Final thing. Can you imagine being in the same room as your yandere and, THEY KNOW they feel some sort of attraction to you they can't explain, but you dont really talk or make any effort to interact with them, and one day you overhear your yandere talking about how they don't have a soulmate yet and they summon their string and half of it is blue and here you are, subtly sneaking out of the room, staring down at your own cobalt thread and wondering, "am I.... THEIR...?"and deciding to intentionally keep it a secret, but eventually you two grow close enough or, someone says something to you that opens your heart and let's you love yourself enough that, a tiny voice inside of you is like "yeah... I WOULD like a partner to spend time and laugh with, i want to koge and im ready to take the risk" and your yandere literally watches your string, and by extension the string on the other end of theirs, completely change colors and finally fully connect, so then you have the slow burn, kind of one sided pining that absolutely explodes in intensity once your yandere finds out it was you all along

Just might be a couple of fun concepts to play around with in the future. You guys know I love drama...

#yandere x reader #sinprompts #and YES i AM thinking about Alastor shut up shut up shut up

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sirgogington · 2 months

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My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation.

I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be.

Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person. It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened.

I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better.

Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know.

For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume. Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

#wilbur soot #lovejoy

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emlovslennon · 3 months

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omgg last night I dreamed about supeeer cute soft dom george being very affectionate and giving making love to reader making her forget all her insecurities whispering in her ear a lot of worship, it's my first request and don't speak English very well but I'm here hehe love ya!

GUYS IM ALIVE HOLY FUCK BALLS !!! Anyway HEHEHHEHE evil laughter back to my mischievousness (mental illness). Also I LOVE YOU TOO

Era: 1965 cuz i feel like it

Audible moan.

You had been feeling extremely insecure ever since you got back from the opening of the the Beatles new movie, “Help!” You saw how in the newspapers they were saying incredibly cruel things about you, especially about how tight your black dress was when you wore it to the premiere. It was, “Name the Beatles wife with the worst taste?” Or “That dress certainly doesn’t look flattering on her!” Like it was some joke. You felt tears brim your eyes just thinking about it. You’d constantly look in the mirror and pinch at your stomach and thighs, you just couldn’t understand why you couldn’t be as beautiful as Jane or Maureen or Cynthia.

“Love, I’m back! Love? What’s wrong?” George said, he had just gotten back from a meeting about an upcoming album, so he unfortunately couldn’t take you along since it was a private meeting, not a public one. You were laying on your shared bed crying, with a newspaper at your side. The one that completely wrecked your self esteem. George caught on and picked up, in complete anger, he ripped the newspaper up and threw it in the trash.

“Absolute bloody rubbish! I hate those damn newspapers, y/n, come ‘ere love.” He said, quite angry, but gentle once he called your name. He couldn’t believe someone could say that about his wife. He thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. How could anyone not agree? They must be blind.

“Love, don’t listen to those bloody bastards, you are the most beautiful and lovely woman I ever laid eyes and have ever met. If they don’t believe that, then they must not have eyes.” He whispers in your ear, playing with your hair. Your tears at this point subsided and you looked up at him, he gave you a grin and kissed your forehead. You know this probably wasn’t the best timing, but you just couldn’t resist when he looks at you with nothing but pure love in his eyes.

“George, could you maybe show me how beautiful I am?” You say quietly, George winks at you in a joking manner and wiggles his eyebrows which make you giggle. George slowly positioned you to get you to lay on your back while he slowly got on top of you.

“I mean it when I say you look stunning in anything.” He whispers, playing with the hem of your black night gown, it was short and only went down to almost the end of your inner thighs. He looked at you for permission and you nodded, as he slowly lifted up your night gown, leaving completely exposed. You usually didn’t bother with under garments when you were going to sleep, you just didn’t feel the need for it.

“You amaze me every time, y’know that?” He praised, as his hands went to your breasts as he pulled you into a passionate kiss, leaving you breathless. George lifted himself up to take off his black long sleeve shirt and the pair of black pants he wore with it, as he went back down to kiss your neck, he hand slowly wandered down to your core, lightly rubbing causing you to whimper. George grinned at the sound, George loved nothing more than when you made noises for him, he doesn’t even really care when it comes to him getting off it’s just as long as you do he’s good.

“Can I?” He asks, his fingers nearing and circling your hole, you nod frantically as he giggles at your reaction, he slowly inserts two fingers into you. You bite your lip and throw your head back into the pillows with the intrusion. But you couldn’t lie, his fingers do wonders. He slowly thrusts them in and out as he watches you whimper and moan, he usually never goes fast unless you tell him to, he’s just never really been that kind of person. Whereas someone like John is the complete opposite.

“F-faster, George!” You moan out, causing George to kiss and suck on your neck harder than he did before as he went faster, your juices starting to seep down to the sheets as the noises coming from your core begin to echo through out the room. You felt the tightness and heat in your belly about to burst and you knew that only meant one thing.

“George-I’m-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you felt as if you were sitting stars as your orgasm hit. George never wanted to admit it, but he absolutely adored when you orgasm your a shaking and moaning mess for him, you look absolutely wrecked just from his fingers.

“Are you ready? Do you need a minute?” He asks, one thing to note about George, is that he is huge on consent, he would never, ever, do something that you didn’t like or something that he thought could hurt you. It would break him into a million pieces if that happened.

“Yes, please!” You say shakily, George nods as he kissed your forehead, slowly lining himself up and entering you.

“You’re always so good for me, always. No one could ever compare.” He whispers lovingly, kissing your earlobe as he slowly thrusts in and out of you.

“Your noises are to die for, you are to die for, i can’t get enough of you.” George loved praising you during sex, he always took pride in doing so.

“G-George, please.” You whisper, George looks up at you, with a questioning face.

“Please, faster! Please!” You moaned out, George gave you a smile and kissed your cheek as he went faster, but not too fast, just slightly faster than the pace he was going. You moan out as he brings his fingers down to your clit and rubs circles round it, making your legs shake. You could feel your orgasm getting closer and creeping up on you like it was the grim reaper.

“George! Im gonna cum, please!” You cried out, all the worry, sadness, and insecurities you were experiencing early had completely disappeared. They were nowhere to be found. George always managed to make your worries and fears go away, it’s like he was magic. But to be fair, he pretty much was.

“Aw, come on pretty girl, cum on me, go on.” George groaned, feeling his own orgasm creep up on him, and before you know it, it wasn’t before too long both of you came together. You were shaking and moaning for quite a bit even after he pulled out and kissed your face all over. George laid on his side and brought the covers over both of you.

“Did that make you feel any better?” George asked, his hand holding yours, you look up at him with a smile.

“What was I upset about again?”

THIS WAS KINDA CHEESY BUT WOOOOAH I LOVED IT

#classic rock #classic rock imagines #george harrison #john lennon #paul mccartney #ringo starr #the beatles #the beatles x reader #60s #george harrison x reader #george harrison smut

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crookedkryptonitebeliever · 1 year

Text

Yandere Best Friend pt 2

tw: self harm, mentions of violence, general deranged yandere shenanigans, angst

ageless blogs n minors DNI blease tq <3

part 1 here

my masterlist

this sucks bros i broke my fucken leg and i cant move, my cast is so itchy and i cant scratch and i feel nasty cause i cant shower

feeling bads, so thats why i churned part 2 out faster thn usual , its shorter than before but just need some angsty comfort atm

as uaual many errors cause i did not proofreasd

enjoy i hope

You left the exam hall a couple hours later. To find out that your dad left a total of seven missed calls. You thought someone fucking died.

Of course, you called back. Preparing for the worst.

Your father picked up the phone, he explained that it was your friend. He had a mental breakdown because you weren't there for the opening of his dream restaurant. Eventually though, he calmed down enough to come back into the building to return the phone, eyes noticeably dull and tired, worse than before. He never stopped trembling.

The three of them sat down and talked.

Neither of your parents knew you stopped contacting him. They thought everything was fine, so your friend couldn't fault them for that.

Your parents trusted your friend, so they gave him your phone number and told him basic information about you now. Such as, the country you're studying in and the course.

You felt a pang of guilt, but you had to move on. You understood that he was busy, it would probably do no good for you to try and reach out to him. You would just ruin his plan and distract him too much. At least, that was what you thought.

Usually, he would call every day. But that turns to once every three days. Then once a week. Then never.

It's true that he would not miss a single day to send you a sweet message, a reminder to practice self care and that you're very dear to his heart. Which would be then followed by an update to his progress, it was stressful to read what he was going through and that was all he talked about. You felt like his personal diary, he stopped asking about how things were going for you.

Since it doesn't seem to bother him you weren't replying because he would send his texts when the entire world is asleep, you stopped opening his texts too.

You wanted to tell him in person that you're moving out to pursue your studies and you were granted a student loan. A crushing student loan. But... You believe his ten minutes of free time a week is better used for his sleep. Or even going to the bathroom perhaps.

A day passes by another and in the end, you moved on without him. Without telling him. It just always slips your mind every time you see him brisk walking towards his beat up car with a stack of metal trays in his arms. They must be extremely heavy, you could see the veins bulging out of his forearms and forehead.

It was hard to watch his cheeks get sunken in, his hair going back to its' matted, unhealthy state, dark bags forming under his constantly bloodshot eyes. He looked like he aged a decade older from all the stress and pressure. But... He is working towards his dream and you're happy for him. It was great that he finally achieved what he wanted, he deserved all of its glory for working his ass off like that.

You held no ill will towards him, but you grew apart. He was so consumed with work that the friendship suffered in silence, there were no more fun hangouts together at the mall, you don't get to eat his cooking anymore (you didn't want to burden him by buying a tray, he already has too much to do), no more fun conversations about the silliest shit. It was just... Bank loans, revenue, expenses, investors, employees, employers, credit score, mortgages, taxes etcetera. The urgency and distress was also rubbing off you too, there were nights you woke up in a cold sweat because you had a nightmare that your hypothetical restaurant failed and you went into debt.

So you thought, he needed his time. You shouldn't really interfere with anything you don't understand. Your friend is already nose deep in the real world, you're not even close to it yet and you're not ready for it yet either. Therefore, you took the route most young adults take after getting a high school diploma: getting a bachelor's degree in some field of study that you probably don't even like.

You trudged onwards to the direction of your hostel. You need to get ready for your shift, money is a little tight now and you don't want to burden your parents too much. They're already sending a lot of money to support your living.

If your friend knew you were working hard for some extra money, his heart would break. It would be devastating news to him, no doubt, he would at least have a dozen freakouts and breakdowns. But you don't know that, yet.

As expected, your friend eventually called you. It was later than expected; it took him a week before he called your new phone number himself. He needed to calm down and collect his thoughts, as he knew that he might just drive you away if he comes barreling in with passionate yelling and sobbing over the phone. Plus, he also needed to focus on his new restaurant too, he can't just abandon his lifelong dream like that. How else is he going to make enough money to provide for you? He can't take back the money and time he invested in this now, all he can do is keep going and find some compromise.

It was tempting to go M.I.A. and hastily book a plane ticket to wherever you're studying. He was deeply yearning for your presence, he was desperate, he was clawing his arms and decorating them with nasty scars in an attempt to keep the urge at bay. He was extremely miserable but he had to keep going, to build that wonderful, cushiony foundation for you and him to fall back onto.

Everything he does, he does it for you.

He was polite, kind and pleasant during the first phone call you both had in two years. Though, there was a noticeable twinge of hurt in his mildly wavering voice. He still sounded like he's happy and relieved to hear you again.

The call started off with a greeting, then some small talk, then finally to the meat of the call;

Why didn't you tell me? He asked. It seems like he was fighting back his tears.

You didn't answer right away, you don't know what to say.

You could tell him the truth that he was too busy with his endeavors and you just don't feel like interfering by burdening him with "unnecessary information". However, you think that might wound him deeply as you're somewhat blaming him for your own actions.

You could lie... and tell him what, exactly? Either way, it would hurt him even more and there is probably going to be some resentment.

So, you apologized. You kept your reasoning brief and simple; you needed to move on. You acknowledged that whatever you did wasn't very nice of you, but you still had to proceed and you thought that it would be better that you didn't tell him.

There was a moment of silence between the both of you.

On the other side of the call, your friend was wracking his brain, trying to comprehend what you just told him. It came across as you not wanting to do anything with him anymore because you feel unprioritized, unimportant, inferior. Guilt and remorse was eating him up, he is putting all the faults onto himself.

He spiraled downwards in that call, spewing nonsense and absurd promises to destroy everything he has ever worked for just to have you back in his arms. Deranged negotiations involving the idea of blinding, deafening, mutilating or doing some sort of bodily or mental harm to himself to prove something; prove that he puts you above everything else and also to punish himself for neglecting you.

It was horrifying to hear your dear friend babble about putting himself into financial ruin for the sake for your forgiveness. He spoke of his accomplishments and advancements as they were disposable, as if it held no value compared to you.

This isn't normal, far from it, Your friend devolved so much to the point he was making demented pledges to kill and maim your enemies for you, and only you. To eviscerate the ones you dislike and send videographic proof of it, to disembowel his business associates to show that they mean absolutely nothing to him. Mind you, he was talking about real, breathing, living humans.

It was hard to fully grasp the insanity in his now incoherent words, he was muttering apologies and self hatred. Promises of severe self harm was also common in his mad speech. At one point, religion and superstitions were thrown into the mix. But you could not understand what he was chanting about.

What the fuck are you talking about? Your friend didn't pick up on your distress... or words over his excessive tirade against himself.

Everything I do, I do it for you, and I would do anything and everything for you. I love you- You hung up.

You couldn't take a second more of that. It was really difficult to see this side of him. It hurts you too that he became like this, perhaps all the stress from building a business from the ground up fried his mind. Whatever it was, you knew that he is not good for you anymore.

You sent him a final text message telling him that you're not comfortable with him after that massive sanity slippage. You wished him luck and expressed your regrets that it had to turn out this way.

You didn't give him a chance to respond, you blocked him immediately on everything and went on with your day.

Whatever he said kept replaying in your head like a broken record. It was pure horror.

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myslvtwritings · 8 months

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Hello? Ah, I think I put my requests in the wrong area, I got confused and put them in 'Submit A Post' instead! My apologise, Ahem! I shall repeat one of my requsts here. If it's not much of a bother....So, my first request was how would the upper moons (Plus Hantengu clones) react to an S/O who is allergic to the sun? Like they have Solar Urticaria which gives them, and I quote here, 'causes an itchy rash or hives that appear on any skin that has been exposed to the sun' and it hurts them a lot

➤ Uppermoons with a S/O who suffers from Solar Urticaria

➤ SFW headcanons

including: Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, and Hantengu clones

•

(not proof read)

Muzan

Your first mistake was giving a chance to the demon king himself and your second was keeping this little illness of yours a secret.

Literally your explanation behind for not being honest about your situation is mostly because you’re scared shitless of this man half of the time..

Because you’re a human and Muzan’s adored S/O he does also have high expectations for you when it comes to looking for the blue spider lily.

You’re human, walking in broad daylight shouldn’t be an issue? He sees no problem whatsoever! This will benefit him after all.

So, when you’re hesitant to walk outside the man grows immensely confused?

First of, how dare you disobey him and what are you not telling him?

There is absolutely no reason to keep it hidden because sooner or later Muzan will find out eventually so what’s the point? He isn’t an idiot.

Just the main explanation he didn’t notice at first is because he was focusing on more important matters. He’s an extremely busy man after all.

Soon, you inform him of your ginormous problem.

May feel a tad bit guilty for not noticing at first and on his end it’s embarrassing for coming off so dense.

Your condition is not that entirely different to a demons.

Anyway, congratulations, you just gave him the perfect opportunity to turn you into a demon.

Probably won’t be too happy if you refuse.. Muzan hates when those disagree with him because this man has the mentality that he’s always correct despite his tactics being morally wrong..

Kokushibo

Kokushibo is an introverted, an expressionless, and quite eerie demon. But do not let that fool you for him being a brainless fool.

Koku happens to be very observant.

Cares for you strongly despite his severe lack of affection. He always has a sharp eye on you.

So it doesn’t take him too terribly long to take notice of your avoidance to the sunlight.

Yeah, now he’s going ti be curious.

But instead of immediately asking you first, instead he’ll observe you from afar to find out for himself, analyzing your every move, waiting for your darkest secrets to spill at any given moment.

His plan was a complete fiasco because in turn he found out nothing. Only came off as a creepy stalker.

He may become frustrated, give up and just demand answers from you himself. Wont even ask, just will straight up demand you to tell him everything.

No point in lying about it because he isn’t idiotic.

Kokushibos reaction whenever you inform him of your allergy will be somewhat similar to Muzan’s.

Offers to transform you into a demon because it isn’t like they’ll be a striking difference, you know?

However, Kokushibo is shockingly not the type to force you into demonic nature if you’re against losing your humanity.

He may view your reason as dumb and “typical human behavior” but it’s safe to say that he’ll still love you and won’t turn you without your consent or knowledge.

Instead, Kokushibo will help you deal with your allergy in other ways which are actually beneficial.

Douma

Takes awhile to notice, out of all the uppermoons he’s the most dense, especially with inability to feel proper emotions.

With his consistent work he has to perform in the cult he has very little time with you in general.

But whenever he shares those little moments with you he savors them. It’s his only escape from the cult he unknowingly despises so much.

Douma is another observer, but in the most creepiest way possible. Makes it known that he’s a full-on stalker.

One thing he will immediately notice is that you’re repulsed by the sun. You even prefer colder weather and only ever exit the temple in the dead of night!

How cute, you’re the most demonic human he’s ever met!

Douma isn’t too fascinated by it at first nor does he care until he finds himself frequently fantasizing about it all the time.

As the thoughts nag on, Douma just kindly asks you himself.

Ah, so you’re basically allergic to the sun? Haha! how eccentric.

Cue the horrendous jokes, an increase in teasing.

Deep down, an unknown part of him is surprisingly worried about you. But of course he’ll pretend he’s not. After all, these emotions are foreign to him and he ain’t too fond of this paranoia he’s experiencing which only grows stronger.

You are Douma’s beloved S/O, his prized possession!

And like the others this menace will offer you to give up your humanity and join the demons to hopefully rise to the upper ranks.

I mean, you’re no different from a demon! Douma sees absolutely no problem with this!

This is his own special little way of him ‘helping’ you.

Besides, he does desire for you to be at his side for all eternity!

If you accept his offer, he’s beyond thrilled, overwhelmed with joy.

If you decline, Douma is visibly disappointed..not satisfied. Isn’t too fond of this feeling he’s experiencing the moment you reject his kind offer.

Very well, be that way. His feelings for you won’t change! However, so expect him to be extra overprotective. He makes sure to keep you away from the outdoors and the two of you only visit the great outdoors when the sun is down.

Akaza

Akaza is already overprotective enough as it is. Once he finds out of your condition his overprotective behavior will only increase.

There was a time where you did take a step outside on a warm summer day and immediately you break out. You feel lightheaded, break out in wrenched rashes, your delicate skin grows irritated, you look like Nezuko burning in the sunlight minus the flames.

Panicked boyfriend mode=activated.

Immediately, you and Akaza retrieve indoors. Demons and their speed. You didn’t even notice you were picked up and brought to safety until you were surrounded by the interior of your lovely home.

Akaza is astonishingly experienced when it comes to treating others who are ill or have conditions. No, he’s not a doctor. Akaza just knows how by heart.

Now, he doesn’t know everything. But he knows enough to make you feel better and not break out again!

As he treats your pruritus and erythema, Akaza keeps in mind to be very gentle with you. Even if you possess a high pain tolerance Akaza will ALWAYS be benign when it involves his lovely partner.

Poor baby is still shaken up, therefore his hands are having a mild seizure as he treats you.

Moving on, after that unfortunate incident your boyfriend has a couple questions for what the actual fuck just occurred today

He’s a commutative partner and is a bit disappointed you didn’t inform him prior.

Akaza won’t be mad forever though. He just loves you too much to stay mad at you so therefore your apology if accepted.

However, please tell him things next time. You aren’t aware of how much they really matter to him.

Yes, he as well is a cold hearted demon but at least he has a heart. Unlike his subordinates who have an insatiable hunger for human flesh like yours.

Akaza is able to control himself, possess morals to this day, no matter what happens he is always going to care about you and will take care of you whenever it’s needed!

Hantengu Clones

Sekido

He found out about your condition by accident on one unfortunate day.

Springs into action by dragging your ass back indoors and treating your delicate skin which reacted as the sun made contact with it.

However, afterwards he puts off his caring act and grows increasingly frustrated and concerned.

He only expresses anger so fuck the concerned bit. Doesn’t even admit it. But you can tell he’s worried for you in a.. angry way?

Sekido’s temper only rises the moment he realized you kept this a secret from him.

You two have been together for how long? Yet you still keep secrets? why? Do you not trust him?

Immediately assumes the worse of the worst and lashes out at you.

Yeah, he isn’t too happy and being understanding isn’t his strong suit either.

Communication has always been a problem for him.

He is mostly just lashing out because deep down he’s hurt you didn’t tell him.

Sekido is terrifyingly protective over you so there is yet again another reason he’s pissed off you never told him of your Urticaria prior.

Doesn’t want you hurt physically or emotionally in anyway.

He’s hurting you right now emotionally thought but literally screaming at you-

Moving on, you finally manage to calm this angry bastard down.

He doesn’t know a lot of your condition so you elaborate it to him.

Honestly, he understands, especially being a demon and all. Y’all are basically similar.

Sekido finally calms down the further you explain.

He loves you so he’s understanding. Be sure to stay telling him things though please😔😔

Aizetsu

As y’all’s relationship began, you inform Aizetsu of your condition, knowing well it’s important for him to know of this due to him being your beloved boyfriend.

Aizetu’s brain stops out of sheer panic.

I swear, he’s always so worried about you in general! Now it’s only increasing!

Pities you.

What a pity that you’re a mere human and can’t even set foot outside and feel the warm sunlight on your face..

He honestly makes you feel worse about it which is a red flag in your opinion.

Like hello?? you just need him to understand. You don’t need all that pity nonsense!

You just simply explain to him how that doesn’t help and it only causes him to feel more horrible.

Fortunately for you though, he apologizes.

Becomes even more protective of you then he already is.

Thankfully you never had an incident because you take good care of yourself.

Aizetsu also keeps a sharp eye on you even though you don’t need it.

Like Sekido, he relates to you.

Lowkey craves for you to become a demon like him.

But at the same time he doesn’t want you to lose your humanity because he knows that’s very important to you. Plus, it would upset you. Aizetsu despises seeing you upset.

Karaku

To put it bluntly, Karaku may come off as a horrendous dumbass and menace but he isn’t actually an idiot.

Knows what’s going on, what he’s doing, he isn’t exactly dense nor misunderstanding. Especially when it comes to his precious S/O.

So whenever you inform him of your condition, explain to him what it means, etc. He confesses he already knew something was up prior but waited for you to tell him yourself.

Karaku is honestly happy to know that at least you two can relate with the whole sun dilemma.

He even teases you about it here and there. I mean, he’s a demon so what do you expect?

Earns a slap in the face if he ever taunts you or teases you.

Ok, ok, for your sake he’ll stop with the immature jokes. 🙄

Karaku is highly aware on how your little condition upsets you and how you deeply desire to feel the warm sunlight beaming down onto your delicate skin without having this troubling condition.

He is always there for you to cheer you up whenever you get insecure about it!

Even becomes even more protective of you.

He knows damn well you aren’t stupid enough to walk outside on purpose but he still loves the feeling of looking out for you and being there for you.

He’s cocky about it too.

Karaku always reminds you that he still loves you despite your condition. He knows how insecure you are about it and you always overthink that he’ll get bored of you and leave which isn’t the case. He loves you for you! Even though he teases you like hell.

Urogi

Similar to Karaku, this mf is cocky as hell about it.

Says shit like; “Damn really? Guess we have more in common than i thought baby.”

He’s so goofy. A silly lil demon. 💀💀

Also one positive wack. Attempts to help you develop a slightly more positive mindset. He knows how negative you can get due to your condition which you have a burning hatred for.

Deep down, he’s lowkey a upset for you, he wishes you and him could walk under the sun together. But covers it up with his happy facade.

Reminds you that you’re like him and that he doesn’t see the problem. I mean, he still loves you and has even more in common with you!

He tries his very gosh-darn hardest to make you feel better about it.

Since you cannot appreciate the sun, Urogi and you go out in the evening and have wholesome small dates!

Unfortunately, y’all can’t really go into town cause of his demonic form

BUTTTT you both have picnic dates under the moonlight. He finds a way to make you appreciate the night/the moonlight instead of sun.

Constantly reassures you that it’ll be alright!

Urogi will also pick you up and flies you around on his back to have fun!

Now for the semi-red flags: He has the strong habit of teasing you. Not intentionally because he enjoys hurting you or anything.. He just assumes ahead of time that it’ll make you feel a tad bit better!

Is always on a mission to witness you at least crack a smile at his childish humor.

By the way, his teasing doesn’t benefit you in the slightest..

If you’re okay with his jokes and are able to joke with him then you two just bond over that and you soon get over your insecurities.

However, if you cannot handle it and are sensitive, which is completely valid in your case. Urogi will tone it done and search for other solutions to help you out!

But he does sometimes find it amusing when you proceed to call the sun ‘evil’ and hide from it when you’re in a bad mood..

Yeah the sun is evil. Bro agrees with you. 😡😡

Omg, sorry this took so long to finish! I hope i wrote these headcanons met your expectations and i hope you enjoyed reading them:) bye-bye! (also this ain’t proof-read so sry if there are any typos)

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purpleyoonn · 1 year

Text

The Line Between Love and War 7

C H A P T E R 7:

THE AMA’S AND BLUSHING

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut,

Chapter Warnings: anxious feelings, some drama, insecurities, becky g to the rescue, safety issues come up, not too much going on, a slight shutdown*, relationship first, actual soulmate bonding begins now,

Taglist: @azazel-nyx @yuzon3 @hannahdinse8 @quirkybtsarmy @mageprincess7 @fluffy-canada-pancakes @suckerforv @chaoticthingpizza @drissteele @carolinexkpop @avadakadabra93 @lachimolala22019 @justaweird0 @singukieee @welcometomyworld13 @toughbook @kimana122 @kpopmultistantrashsstuff @0funsite0 @joyless-living @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered @elliott-calls @psychosupernatural @kyuupidwrites

*shutdown: an autism shutdown, or autistic shutdown, is when a person’s brain becomes so overloaded they can’t control reactions or they become totally unresponsive or frozen. Shutdowns are related to meltdowns. In the case of a shutdown, the person will feel as though they might be trapped in their body, unable to move or respond to any external stimulus.

Masterlist // Chapter 6 // Chapter 8

————————————————–

Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

You nod your head at his question, not knowing if you could accurately answer his question without knowing the context or possible situation he could be referring to. Namjoon just takes your answer for what it was, a probability. Nodding in his own way, he then goes to ask how you feel about attending the American Music Awards that were to take place the next day.

“If it’s okay, I think I would like to go, but I don’t want to be on the red carpet. I don’t want to take the event away from you all and I don’t think I’m comfortable with being on it.” You were honest with him, something he would never fault you for. He was happy you were being honest with him and with yourself.

“Don’t worry baby, we can work things out with Seungho. I’m glad you are going with us though. I know we would feel more at ease with you by our sides.” He moved forward, catching you slightly off guard as he placed a sweet kiss to your cheek before getting up and leaving you to your thoughts and the wordsearch across your lap.

You were dreaming, you had to be. Like, there was no other option that your brain agreed with. You had to be dreaming, and your fantasy seemed way to out of the park to be considered real.

You were currently in a light purple, almost lavender, silk soft dress. It had straps that were a couple inches in width, making you feel more comfortable with the fact that it had a deeper cleavage then you were used to. The dress went to the floor, and the stylist gave you heels to wear. It showed off your soulmarks, something the boys were extremely happy with.

There was something so primal about your soulmate showing off their soul mark, their connection to you. The boys were possessive in nature, something anyone could see, and it extended to you. You were their mate and for you to have your mark on display, it had them buzzing.

You had never worn heels before and waddled like a baby deer as you entered the room the boys told you to go into when you were done. It’s where you knew you had to be dreaming as most of the boys were in various stages of undress, Namjoon only in his boxers as he stood near the clothing rack.

You were gaping at them, wide-eyed for a couple of seconds before blinking quickly, trying to figure out if you were truly seeing what was in front of you.

There was no way you weren’t dreaming. It makes sense.

Only you would come up with a dream where BTS were your soulmates and they were currently undressed in front of you. There was no way it was reality.

Taehyung was the first to notice you, smiling big as he moved to where you were standing, watching the door be closed by Seungho. You were just standing there, eyes wide as you practically stared at the rest getting dressed. He didn’t care about his own state of undress, pants barely buttoned as he walked in front of you.

He couldn’t tell what you were thinking, but he had seen the look in your eyes before. The small glint in the corner where you questioned everything. You wore it a lot in your dreams where you tried to rationalize everything. He could only guess that you thought you were dreaming, more distinctly you thought you were dreaming that they were your soulmates.

He knew from your dreams over the past week that you still didn’t truly believe that you were their missing soulmate. It hurt sometimes, Jimin clinging to him as they talked about how they would convince you, past what they were already doing.

“Hey baby.” Your eyes shifted to now focus on Taehyung, who kissed you on the forehead before gripping your hands in his and leading you to the small two-seater that was next to his dressing area. It was then that the others began to notice you were in the room.

“Hey pretty girl.” Hobi had come up with his shirt half unbuttoned to greet you, hand locking with yours as his eyes moved slowly down your figure, taking in every inch of you he could see. It had you growing flustered, their touch slowly moving the dreamlike haze from your eyes.

“Hi Hobi.” Your voice was quiet as you tried to hide the blush growing on your cheeks. Now that their touch was bringing you back, you were beginning to grow flustered at the amount of skin the boys were slowly covering. It seemed they were trying to see how slowly they could get dressed.

Once they realized you were in the room, watching them get dressed, their stage personas came out and they made to see how quickly they could fluster their youngest mate. Jimin especially was having fun with this, winking at you as he slowly pulled his pants up his thighs and over his hips. He had you looking away the fastest, a win in his eyes, seeing the blush you had on your neck and cheeks.

Jungkook, however, saw things differently. He was the first to finish getting ready and was quick to move to where you were sitting and wrap you up in his arms. He hooked his chin over your shoulder and snuggled in close, loving the blush that was accompanied by the warmth of your arms covering his own that wrapped across your stomach.

“You look beautiful in this dress, baby.” His words brushed across your shoulders causing tingles to move down your spine, both his tone and his breath across your skin being the cause. You could practically feel the heat of his words against you, the temperature in the room spiking because of it.

“You look good too, Koo.” You turn to look at him, your eye catching on the way he played with his lip piercing. You didn’t even catch his eyes looking you over as you turned back around.

“Jungkook, you’re going to get your suit wrinkled. Come here, princess.” Jin had come up to you, knowing that you were getting overwhelmed and Jungkook was about to catch the attention of their head stylist, none of them wanting to witness her fury at the sight of wrinkled clothing.

He helped you stand up, hands on your waist as he held you steady on your still wobbly legs. Heels were not your thing and you didn’t think you would ever get used to them. It was then you realized that everyone was ready, only a few hair touchups needed from the game Jimin and Yoongi were playing.

“You really do look beautiful, baby. This dress looks amazing on you.” He grinned, loving the purple on you knowing what it represented to them. You just reached down, rubbing slightly at your heels as you responded.

“Yeah well, my ankles aren’t going to look so amazing once the night is over. I feel like a newborn deer.” Your words were rung true by you trying to walk forward, legs shaking and almost falling over.

Taehyung caught you, a hand on your back as he steadied you. He held a smile on his lips as helped you walk to the door where the others were now waiting.

“Let’s go my deer.” You only shook your head at his attempt to make you smile, the others laughing at Taehyung’s pun.

The plan was for you to leave the vehicle after the boys exit for the red carpet. You would be driven a little further down where you would be able to walk behind the red carpet backdrop and in to the Microsoft Theater where the awards would be taking place.

Seungho would accompany you into the theater and help you find where you were to be seated. You were assured by the boys and Sejin that you would have your own seat with the boys, that you would be able to sit there while you waited for the boys to join you.

There were three other security members with the boys, making sure nothing happened while on the carpet, doing interviews and taking pictures. They were also to ensure that nothing negative was said about you or the bond, which didn’t matter so much to you as it did to the boys.

The car was not silent when you arrived, each of the boys moving to hug you and reassure you that they were only seconds away if needed. Namjoon especially was worried, knowing exactly how the media would spin even the slightest breath in a negative way.

“Boys, please. It will be okay. I will have Seungho with me and I will just be seated in our assigned spots. Nothing is going to happen.” Okay, maybe you were optimistic about everything right now, but it was only to save face. You were really anxious about the entire night, not wanting to do anything that would upset anyone, especially the boys or army.

Once the door was opened by one of the security team, the boys sent you worried glances as they exited the car, Jin blowing you a kiss before the door closed behind them. You could see all of the photographers lined up and already taking pictures of the boys, some even trying to catch a glance of you in the car.

It was already rumored that you would be in attendance, a picture of the seating arrangements having been leaked the day before when it was being set up. This had the boys worried, but everyone was reassured by Sejin that the team had been prepared for this.

The management team for the boys had already prepared in the event that their last mate would be found, knowing the amount of attention that would be aimed your way. They knew people would try and do anything to get even the smallest glance or fact about you.

The headphones Yoongi had bought for you, the ones you wore to the concert, had already been sold out the following day. Army worked quick in finding out which ones you wore and acted fast, buying out the entire stock through multiple stores.

To say you were shocked was an understatement. Taehyung had even taken a short video of you and posted it to twitter with the caption “army at it again”. In the video, you had your mouth open wide in shock as you look at the website for the store Yoongi had gotten the headphones from. Jungkook was leaning over the back of the couch to look at your screen and pointing at it, laughing as he knows extremely well how quick army could be.

Seungho had opened the door for you when the car stopped again, this time towards the back where you could safely make your way to the theater and to your seats.

“Are you ready for your first appearance, Y/n?” He holds his hand out to help you out of the car as he smiles at you.

“Not at all.” You smile back, thoroughly in awe at how quick your life changed. Just a week ago, you were in your hotel room about to make your way to the Line store, and now you were at the AMA’s with your idol soulmates.

You were quiet as Seungho led you through the slightly narrow walkway and into the theater where you were met by one of the coordinators. After a quick talk where he had to show his badge and your own, he led you down to where the artists would be sitting.

While you were looking around the theater in awe, the boys were being interviewed and having their pictures taken on the carpet.

“Now, I think congratulations are in order. I believe everyone has seen the announcement of you guys finding your final soulmate.” The interviewer gestures to the surrounding people as she spoke.

“Is there anything you can tell us about your final soulmate?” She finally asks the question the boys were waiting for. Namjoon internally sighs as he moves to answer.

“She is the sweetest person. She has a big heart and it feels like we’ve known her forever.” He doesn’t even have to fake the smile or glint in his eyes as he talks about you. Jimin moves forward a little as he leans closer to one of the microphones.

“Y/n is beautiful and we are doing our…best to get to know her better.” He stumbles a bit as he tries to find the right word but he gets a pat on the back from Namjoon, making him feel he did good.

“Well, I’m sure army is extremely happy that your bond is now complete.” Yoongi wants to roll his eyes at the woman’s comment, knowing that her tone was anything but happy.

“We actually have another question that has come in from some comments on our twitter page. The fans want to know if your final mate is an army and who her bias is?” This question has the boys looking at each other, wondering if they should answer or not. Jin decides to take the microphone.

“She is army and her bias is BTS.” The boys all internally applaud their eldest mate for his quick thinking, some even trying not to roll their eyes at his blatant wink at the end.

The woman just laughs, obviously fake as she was hoping to stir up some kind of drama. She tries to ask another question but is told by one of their team that her time was over. She doesn’t even say any goodbye as she walks away from them, her cameraman following.

“Wow.” Jungkook mutters under his breath, Hobi agreeing.

“I knew we would get some questions about Y/n, but not like that.” Taehyung says low, knowing they don’t need anyone listening in, despite speaking in their native Korean. They never knew who could translate or speak their language while in the states. Look at you, they didn’t expect for you to be able to speak almost fluent Korean when they found you.

Almost every question they had received so far, besides one of the interviewers they were more familiar with, had been about you. And while they loved that they were able to talk about you and show the world how much they already loved you, it made some of the boys feel weird.

-*-*-

You had found your seats, almost right up front with an amazing view of the stage when a man had walked up to you. Seungho was quick to usher you behind him as he moved forward to stop the man from coming any further.

“Excuse me Miss, you cannot sit there. I’m going to have to ask you to move to the designated seat filler area until the show starts.” Seat fillers were regular people who had to go through some kind of vetting process to be able to fill the seats within award shows. They typically moved from seat to seat so it looked like the audience was always full whenever an artists had to leave.

Seungho, who held both of your passes, just looked at the man and held his hand up, preventing the man from getting closer to you like he was trying to do.

“We have our passes right here. This is her artist pass.” He hands the man your pass hoping this would resolve the issue.

“Is this some kind of joke?” The man now looks angry as he holds up your artist pass with your name on it and the logo for BTS, the word soulmate accompanied underneath in bold writing. He tries to move past Seungho to grab your arm but Seungho is quick to push the man away.

“I can assure you this is not a joke.” You were quiet as Seungho moves to protect you from the now visibly angry man.

“I’ve never seen this pass before. It doesn’t even look like an artist pass. I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you don’t move to the seat filler area.” He spits at you both like he would be just as happy to physically remove you.

“Why would you think this is a joke, Sir?” You ask the man, making both heads turn towards you, Seungho with a weary look and the man who seems to pause at hearing you speak.

“There is no way you can be their soulmate. Look at you.” He gestures to you, not even caring that other people were now looking your way, other artists and celebrities who had now begun to enter the theater for the awards show.

The words coming from this man’s mouth make Seungho’s blood boil. Of the week he has known you and been assigned to be your head security, he has seen how insecure you had been about everything, including your looks. He is aware that there is some trauma from your home life that aids into your insecurities, but he doesn’t know the full story.

Either way, that is never how you should talk to or treat someone. But before he could say anything, someone else interrupts.

“Oh my goodness, girl! You look amazing!” You see Becky G walking up to you and bringing you into a hug. To say you were starstruck was an understatement. You had been watching her videos since she was on YouTube, growing up listening to her songs.

When she pulls back from the hug, she turns around to face the man. “Is there something wrong?” She has an arm around you and the other on her hip as the speaks to the worker. He just starts to sputter like a fish, trying to figure out what to say.

“You know this woman?” Was what he managed to spit out, looking between you and Becky with confusion.

“Of course! She is one of my friend J-Hope’s mates.” She gestures to the two couches that have the words “BTS and Soulmate” on the cards resting on the cushions. Becky looked between the man and the placard with a raised eyebrow, not even waiting before taking your pass from his hands and handing it to Seungho.

“What’s going on here, baby?” Namjoon asks, looking at the scene in front of him. They had heard as they were walking towards their seats and you, that there was a commotion going on. The rushed to where they knew their seats were, just hoping no one was giving you any sort of trouble.

“Nothing Sirs. I just didn’t uh, didn’t realize—” The man began to stutter, trying to think of a response that wouldn’t get him into trouble when Seungho interrupted him.

“He tried to remove Y/n from her seat as he didn’t think she was your mate or belonged with you. Miss Becky came and helped her when she saw what was going on.” Seungho explained, causing the group to glare at the man after sending smiles towards Becky who was still standing with you.

At the audience you were receiving, the main coordinator for the event had come down to see what was going on. It was at this point that Jimin and Hobi decided to come over to you, checking on you and give thanks to Becky.

“Here baby. Why don’t you sit here with me.” Jimin spoke softly to you, not knowing how this incident could have affected you; you were pretty silent as you looked up at him. He was unable to read your emotions, causing him a little panic as he brought you over to the second couch, sitting you in the middle where he knew you would be surrounded by them.

You watched Jimin fuss over you, trying to push the words from your lips to tell him what happened. You could hear Hobi and Becky talking, him wanting to get her story as he also greeted his old friend.

You turned your head, looking for Namjoon only to see him talking to the head coordinator as the man was escorted away. You watched the woman gesture your way and the firm nod from Namjoon.

He came over first, kneeling in front of you as he grabbed your hands to hold.

“Baby, the main coordinator is going to come over to apologize for the coordinator and for his actions. I just wanted to let you know.” He stood up but continued to hold your hand as the woman walked over.

“Hello Y/n. My name is Susan and I am the main coordinator for the American Music Awards. I just wanted to apologize for the actions of Tim and to let you know it will never happen again. If there is anything you need for the night, please don’t be afraid to let one of us know. I will have two additional guards up front for you and you can let either of them know if you have any problems, okay?” Susan had a kind expression on as she talked to you. She seemed genuine which helped to soften the emotions you were holding in.

“Thank you.” You managed to push out, the words sounding like a mumble as you did so. It made you worry that she wasn’t going to hear you, but the smile and no you received was a relief that you didn’t have to try and repeat yourself.

Susan said a couple more words to Namjoon before leaving. Namjoon took his spot on your other side, while Hobi sat next to him. Namjoon had an arm around you while Jimin had a hand on your thigh, rubbing circles into the fabric covering your skin.

“We should have been with you.” Namjoon muttered under his breath as his grip on your waist tightened. He could see the nail marks on his palm, could feel them on forming on his palm as they were being interviewed. He knew it wasn’t his doing and could only imagine what was happening for you to do that.

He moved his hand, turning your palm over so he could see your own palm, to see the red and irritated marks. He didn’t say anything as you watched him bring your palm up to your lips, kissing at your unfortunate habit.

The lights began to go down as the stage was lit up. You could see the microphone being set up and the curtains being drawn as you sat back in your seat. There were so many things you wanted to say, but you knew that you wouldn’t be able to get them out.

“We’re here baby.” Jimin whispered as the cameramen began to film the crowd, moving passing your small group as they did so. You could feel the familiar warmth moving up your spine as your bond began to settle one more. Ease moving through your body as the tension left, excitement now filling your body as the host walked on stage to start the show.

-*-*-

During their ending performance, the boys made sure to keep you in their line of sight, unknowingly making some of the cameramen record you for reaction videos. You were incredibly self conscious, especially after that coordinator’s comments earlier. You tried to ignore the camera’s but you kept fiddling with your bracelet and fingers.

When their performance was over, you stood up and clapped for them, the camera still on you even as your boys walked off stage. It was nerve wracking for you and you honestly couldn’t wait for the cameramen to leave.

However, despite the small incident in the beginning, and the annoying cameramen, the night was amazing.

The boys were nominated for and won Artist of the Year, Favorite Pop Duo/Group, and Favorite Pop Song with Butter. You were unbelievably proud and couldn’t stop smiling the entire way home, feeling like a proud army as the boys cheered and danced around in the car.

They planned to have a live for armies once at the hotel, after showering and changing. They decided to skip the after party, not really wanting to go anyways, but also just wanting to chill and relax at the hotel. You had decided with Seungho that while the boys were changing and showering that you would go to the store and get snacks and a small cake for them.

You didn’t need to shower quiet yet, just deciding to wash you face and change into comfy clothes once you got to the room. The boys had showered together in small pairs, not wanting to waste water and wanting to be done faster.

As they showered, you left a note for them that you would be taking Seungho with you. Surprisingly, you managed to get snacks and drinks back to the room before they even noticed you were gone. You had managed to make the couch and table look nice, decorating it with snacks and the small cake. You even got champagne and glasses out so they could celebrate normally.

When Namjoon walked out and saw your efforts, he didn’t even blink before he was walking to you and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“Thank you, baby.” He whispered against your lips, opening his eyes to see your own open wide in shock. He took a step back, about to ask you what was wrong before his own eyes widened.

“Oh my, baby I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think.” Namjoon spoke quickly, his hands held up as he apologized. He had taken your first kiss without a thought in his mind. He began to pace back and forth in his own little area as you stared ahead, your cheeks and neck entirely red as you couldn’t help the blush from forming.

Kim Namjoon was your first kiss. And it wasn’t a dream.

You tried to get his attention, but it was no use as he moved back and forth. Finally, you decided to just move to him, hugging him and catching him off guard. When he stopped pacing, you looked up at him, arms still around his middle.

“It’s okay.” You smiled up at him before moving away quickly, your own embarrassment catching up to you as you began to fluff the pillows on the couch and move the snacks around as you waited for the others to be done.

Namjoon couldn’t help but to blush as well, smiling down at you as he moved to grab his phone for the live. He set it up on the entertainment center across from the couch, leaning it up against the television. They hadn’t wanted to bother Sejin for his phone stand, so they went with this.

By the time everyone was done and ready, the blush on your cheeks had barely gone away, alerting everyone to your own feelings.

“What happened baby?” Jimin had smirked your direction, his tone light and teasing as he leaned on the couch.

“I uh- I kissed her.” Namjoon blurted out, making your entire bond group gawk at the tall man. Taehyung couldn’t help but to start clapping.

“Wow, Joonie! Didn’t think you had it in you.” The boys began to tease their mate, each of them getting their fill before the camera turned on and the live started.

You were sitting in the kitchen at first, your own little plate of snacks on the table as you watched them do their live from your phone, wanting to read the comments. You listened to them joke around and thank Army before the comments turned to you.

“Is Y/n okay?”

“What happened to Y/n before the show started?”

“Did Y/n almost get kicked out?”

You turned your head after a couple comments, wanting to know if the boys had seen them or not. By the way Jimin and Jungkook, who both had their own phones out for the live, turned to the others and whispered or pointed, you knew they had.

“Is Y/n okay?” Namjoon read the comment aloud, turning to Jin before answering.

“Y/n is fine, everybody. There was an incident before the show started, but everything was handled pretty quickly.” Namjoon did his best to respond in a way that didn’t explain what happened but let everyone watching know that it was settled.

“She is actually here now, watching the live as well.” Namjoon added on at the end, wanting to ensure army that you really were okay. They all were happy for how concerned their fans were for you, it made their hearts swell even larger for army.

He gestured for you to come over, much to your own contented feelings for where you were sitting. Seeing your hesitation, Jimin spoke to the camera, “Be right back army!” before moving over to where you were, placing his arms on either side of you and caging you in against the table.

“Baby girl. You don’t have to come over, but it would ease the worry and concern that army have for you. If you don’t want to, you don’t, you can always just shout out that you are okay and that everything is fine.” Jimin whispered to, remembering the conversation you had with them about being in front of the camera.

You looked over to where the boys were, trying to chat and joke around while waiting to see if you would come over. You could see them glancing over every now and then.

You knew you would probably be brought into a vilve at some point, and figure now was as good a time as any to do it. You were a part of BTS whether you liked it or not, and this was a part of the territory.

“Okay.” You whisper back, looking up at Jimin as he began to grin down at you, placing a quick kiss on your lips before moving back, winking at you and bringing you over to where Jungkook and Jin had made space for you to sit.

You felt awkward, wondering how the boys did this all the time as you relaxed into the couch. Jin and Jungkook both put an arm behind you, Jin rubbing his hand in small circles on your back.

“Army, this is our final soulmate, Y/n. Please love her like you love us.” Hobi spoke up, large smile on his lips as he gestured to you, making you smile back and wave shyly at the camera.

“Hello Army. Thank you for your concern. I am doing okay.” You answer the previously asked question, not knowing what else to say. Taehyung, thankfully, saved you from further embarrassment as he shouted out “Yoongi, marry me!”

The rest of the live turned out better than you thought. There were not many questions aimed your way, but you shared that your favorite color was blue, you were from California, and that your ult kpop groups were BTS (of course), Ateez, Iz*one, and Twice, but that you also listened to others as well.

The boys also learned something new, not even realizing that you listened to other groups besides them. They had gotten a little jealous that you liked another kpop boy group, but would wait until later to tease you.

The night ended with plenty more kisses and cuddles after the live ended, discussions of how the week would look, and falling asleep in each other’s arms as you squeezed in together on Jin and Yoongi’s bed.

Next Chapter

#bts #bts au #bts idol au #bts soulmate #bts soulmate au #bts polyamory #bts poly #bts poly!au #bts poly au #bts poly!#bts x reader #poly!bts x reader #bts x autistic!mc #bts x autistic!reader #autistic!mc #autistic reader #purpleyoonn #the line between love and war

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powerpolyculeshowdown · 1 year

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A vent about the poll runner that got doxxed:

I was originally going to reblog the post, as many people have - and I don't blame anyone for doing so, it's something people will want to spread awareness about, especially among other poll runners, because the stakes just got a lot higher. It's not just worrying about mean and hateful people in your inbox or your notes - which can be extremely harmful on its own and has led some mods to abandon their polls - but it adds a new layer of concern.

doxxing is very serious, it comes with it's own mess of fears to the victim: there's the same psychological harm you might get from the hate, but also a physical danger, because letting someone know you have their address is a threat. It's a very clear and serious threat, even if you don't say you'll do anything. It can be traumatizing, a lot of us are already neurodivergent and/or mentally ill in ways something like that can cause more harm than it would to a mentally healthy/neurotypical person, and those would probably be heavily affected by it as well. If you struggle with paranoia as a symptom of anything, or just very high anxiety, this could change your life drastically. If you don't struggle with those, you might start to. I don't know what kind of sick fuck would doxx someone without knowing how awful their action is, but on the off chance there's people out there that would do it and somehow don't realize the gravity, please have some compassion. You don't even need empathy, you just need common sense. Think critically about how you're going to hurt that person. Hurt people around them. Why do you want to do that?

In the end I decided against reblogging the original post. I don't know OP, i don't know how they're feeling right now, I can only hope they're as okay as they can be, and they're safe. But I know that in their place I wouldn't want notifications reminding me of the whole thing. I know you can turn those off, but I felt more comfortable not reblogging it. I also won't say who the victim is, I don't feel comfortable exposing them like that, but there's lots of other poll runners reblogging it* and you might find out through them.

*to clarify, i'm not trying to claim me not reblogging it is somehow the "morally correct choice". its not a matter of what's correct, it's just a personal choice. In fact, i'm thankful that people are reblogging it because I was made aware of the danger, as I didn't follow op. There's pros and cons to either decision, mine was to not reblog.

And not to make this about myself, that's really not my intention, but i'm fucking terrified after reading that. I haven't given up on the poll, but I might need some time to recover because i'm not exactly the most stable person and shit like this rlly messes me up. I hope you can all understand if the round one polls don't come out on sunday. I won't apologize if they don't, cause i think this is a pretty good reason to need a break.

Once again, I hope the mod for that poll is safe, and i hope they can recover from this soon.

#mod talks #cw doxxing mention #cw harrassment mention #feel free to ask me to add cw tags

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foressfaction · 4 months

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:Ticci Toby:{A Rewrite}

CHAPTER 1

WARNING:: This story contains EXTREMELY triggering topics such as Domestic/Child/Substance abuse, Death, harsh language, GORE and dissociation triggers. This story mentions mental illnesses and disorders such as Depression, PTSD, ADHD, and Tourette's Syndrome. !!TICS MAY BE TRIGGERING!!

Chapter one

It was a couple of days full of constant debate between the two adults in the home. Toby had been up all night. The only thing that let him know was the sun that just peered from the horizon; it was his alarm clock piercing through the quiet morning air. Toby turned from what he was doing to shut it off. He was sitting at his desk scribbling in all of his school note books. The odd doodles ranged from stick men to just plain scribbles and German words he was trying to learn. He was half German after all, he really wanted to learn it. A pop screeched from his neck, closing his eyes tight and widely opening them a few times before blinking off the tic. Was it the first day of school?

Toby's mind wandered back to the hallway of flickering lights and sudden thick atmosphere. He kind of felt that way just then as well. It was probably the anxiety he just got. "Wait really?" muttered Toby to himself. He reached his hand up and pulled one of the blinds down, squinting his eyes to the red and orange bright light of the rising sun. "hmmm….black hole sun." He mumbled in reference to a song he liked. Toby never listened to music all too much but on occasion he would.

Toby pulled his backpack next to his leg and shoved all of the journals into it, some pencils too. He was surprised no one else decided to come in and try to wake him, despite him never going to sleep in the first place. The boy always struggled with sleep, it had been especially hard these last few days. He just felt like his mind was blurry. Toby knocked on his sister's door, assuming she actually might still be asleep, but was wrong. The bathroom door just across the hallway opened and there she stood. She looked exceptionally tired, hair in a messy bun and all stringy. That was kind of a family thing, stringy frizzy hair no matter how much you wash and brush it. "Aw never mind." Toby sighed out, earning a confused look from the blonde girl. "Never mind what?"

"You're tired, I was going to ask if you could drive me to school—" He was caught off guard by her sudden fast speaking. "Right, I didn't get much sleep last night. If at all, work was tiring and my co-workers thought it would be funny to complain about me to my boss..i might get fired." She sounded very stressed, almost as if she was going to cry while speaking.

"Complaining about what? You're such a-a goo-good worker?"

She shrugged at his concern. "It's probably because how late I usually am, by the time I'm done with all of my chores and school, work is just something that's piled onto that. I honestly think getting fired might be the best option, but what would dad think?" Her voice cracked a little at the end of her sentence. Toby didn't really know how to respond. "That won't happen, right? Things won't go downhill anymore right?"

The girl kinda just frowned, taking her brother by the shoulder and into a hug. "I hope not, if so…I can drive, i can just take us someplace quiet, get away for a while huh? Sound good?"

Toby smiled just a little, a weak one but the idea was there. "Jawohl." He replied. "Picking up German?" Lyra asked in remark to his unexpected reply, to which he nodded with a stupid grin. She patted his back in a gesture to tell him to head downstairs. "I'll drive you just let me get my shoes."

At that moment Toby descended down the stairs and towards the door. Neither his mom or dad were in sight. He wasn't sure if they slept in the same room or not. Toby looked outside to see that his mom's car was gone. His only assumption was that his dad took it somewhere, or they were both out, which wasn't completely unbelievable but still a little odd.

It wasn't long before Lyra had taken her brother up to his new school. Well it wouldn't really be considered new, just a different campus that went up with his grade, same people, same idiots. Toby grabbed his bag and sat there for a moment, staring down then to Lyra who also met his eyes at the same time he met hers. "I can tell you're nervous. I mean the first days are always nerve wracking." She started. "You got this though okay? You're unique..not different."

He listened to her with a small nod, yet half of him still doubted that. "Okay, Lyra, just this once.."

Lyra smiled warmly before speaking out rather loudly as he got out. "Love ya!"

He turned suddenly with an immediate response. "Love you more!"

As then she spat back "Love you most!" Toby huffed, visibly distraught but in a joking way. "you never let me win!" with that said he sorta literally ran into the building. The place wasn't as big as it seemed the day he came up here with his mom. It was probably because the halls were empty, now they were crowded with lost kids trying to find their classes. Toby had his schedule in hand and surprisingly knew where most of his classes were already due to his little mini journey he got a few days ago. Toby trotted straight to his main home room class, an English class with a teacher that looked about 80 years old. The desks were lines in rows of three. The boy chose the seat closest to the back and rested his stuff onto the ground. No one really was batting an eye.

The battle of holding his tics in was the hardest part. The teachers knew, the kids didn't. He didn't want to become the center of attention the second he blurts out a curse word.

Toby shook his head to that thought and opened up his journal he was doodling in last night. The first 8 pages were full of stupid little comic doodles. He even drew Mr. Cowbells. He thought it looked nice. Sooner or later class started, and the room was filled with kids of all diversity. Back when he was with the 'different' kids, they were almost all the same, when he tried talking to them, they would just give vague replies. He didn't understand them and they didn't understand him. But he ended up forcing himself into friendships with them only to be ripped away and thrown into a class of kids who were considered normal. Was this a way of considering him…normal?

He didn't feel normal, he was unique, Lyra says. He liked her choice of wording. 'unique' just rolls off the tongue so well.

"Alright everyone! As we know it is the first day of 6th grade, before you know it, you'll be in highschool, yippee right?" The sweet tone of the teacher silenced the once talking room of kids with her words. "To start the day off, why don't we all stand up and introduce ourselves with our names, age and a fun fact hm?"

Oh, this was weird. Toby watched as each student started to stand up and sputter random facts and an introduction to themselves. Some were longer than others, and some were as simple as could be. He didn't quite realize that he had to go as well, glancing over to meet eyes with the teacher as it was finally his turn, last to go.

Toby took a few glances around to see almost everyone was staring at him. He felt this feeling of dread take over him, like he was going to throw up, actually…..he might.

Toby, after taking a small breath, stood to his feet, holding his journal and looking down at it. "My name is Toby, uhm, I'm 13," he had to pause, feeling an itchy feeling in his throat. A sharp pressure building up to something he knew he couldn't control.

"Mh, mh! look at a spider!~ woo! spider, woo!-"

He could feel the embarrassment prick at his skin, his neck jerking forward as his hand jerked up and twisted a few times, as if he was waving royally. Toby heard a few giggles within the room of kids, looking back to the eyes of his teacher who didn't seem to mind much. He knew she was informed but he still felt bad. "um, I like to draw?"

He said as if anyone really gave a crap. They were all kinda just staring. He could feel them silently judging.

He felt another sensation at his throat, stomping his foot three times in a row while repeating a phrase. "Stop! Stop! Stop!" he shook his head, the embarrassment growing even more before he took a seat again, head hanging low.

"That's great to know, Toby, I bet you're a wonderful artist. Now does anyone have any questions?" Just then a kid raised his hand, a snarky grin on his face. "Yeah, I do." He pointed to Toby. "Why is he so ticci?"

The teacher didn't really understand at first, but it took a moment to hit. "Ah, let's not ask rude questions, this classroom is a safe space for all." She glanced at the brunette boy, who just sat there, like a sad dog. He knew what the kid was trying to hint at. "They're tics." Toby spoke out, eyeing the kid. "They're unique."

"No, they're annoying," The kid started up. "Can't you just hold them in?-"

"If we're going to have a problem already, I can tell you now I will not tolerate any bullying in my classroom, or on this campus young man, Toby is minding his own business, if you don't like what he can't help then leave." The older woman slightly snapped. "This is the first day of school guys, please don't make this hard on me."

Toby felt a little better knowing his teacher would be nice, his old one was very, let's just say, strict.

"You okay?" She looked towards Toby who met her eyes shortly after. He nodded, accidentally locking eyes with the kid who was making remarks a minute ago. If he remembered, the boy's name was Cameron, Cameron Winston. Toby didn't say anything, just glanced away quickly and opened his journal to start doodling again. This was his attempt to calm down.

Eventually the class was over, but as Toby was leaving he noticed the lights above. They were flickering again. The teacher was standing in the doorway farewelling her students. As she waved to Toby he stopped. "You guys should r-r-really fix your lights." He spoke out.

She looked up, tilting her head a little. "What do you mean?"

"They're working fine."

Toby shook his head, "No, they flicker all the time, how can you not see it?"

"It's lunch time, Toby, want me to escort you?" She changed the subject. Which Toby wasn't very happy about, but shrugged it off. "I mean yeah sure." With that, the nice woman started to lead Toby to the giant room where all the kids sat and ate, the cafeteria.

•••••

#creepypasta #slenderverse #foressfaction #ticci toby #toby rogers #fanfiction #ticci toby creepypasta #ticcitobyrewrite #creepypasta rewrite #rewrite #projectrewritecrp

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yourdeepestfathoms · 7 months

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My Hopes For The P2 Changeling Route

Or, just some things I think would be neat to see when the time eventually comes for her route!

1. More of Clara being an emotional mess.

One thing I was REALLY surprised to see in the P1 Changeling route is just how emotionally tormented Clara is. She constantly expresses anxiety, stress, and even what seems to be depression. I mean, she literally has a line where she says she has been crying for several days. She is EXTREMELY distressed and tormented, something that I don’t really see people discuss very often. This emotional state is especially jarring because of how she acts in the Bachelor and Haruspex route, where she’s seen being snarky, cryptic, and kinda bratty. And then to play her route and see just how broken she actually is is very shocking.

P2 Clara is very different from P1 Clara. She’s less childish and more “mature,” though that maturity, at least to me, is very fragile, and you can tell this is a young girl pretending to be and acting like an adult because she has to. She’s way more bossy, way more snarky, and sometimes even comes across as rude (though—and this may just be because I’m a Clara defender until the day I die—I don’t believe she’s trying to be cruel or mean, I just think she has a really bad filter and says things that aren’t appropriate. not that any of those traits are even bad traits that make her a bad character. she is a teenage girl, or at least has the mind and body of one; that’s a very normal way for her to act, and i think it’s strange how some people shit on her because of that, despite her being a very accurate portrayal of a teenage girl—you know, minus the cryptic parts of her. but i digress!). I mean, she literally sasses off Artemy on several occasions, and Artemy is probably double her size, triple her weight, quadruple her strength, and has the power to kick her across the Steppe like a football—that’s the most teenage rebellion thing ever! And I’m sure in the Bachelor route, we’ll see even more of her being fiery and snarky because Daniil and Clara have, like, DOUBLE the beef compared to Artemy and Clara!

To have ALL OF THAT—all of that upturned nose sarcasm, that haughty “I’m smarter than you professionally trained doctors with medical degrees and a proper education” attitude, that bull-headed sassiness that makes you want to tell her to put her proverbial phone on the counter and go to her room—and then to get into the Changeling route and see that she’s actually very, very emotionally damaged and mentally ill would be a stark duality to how we’ve seen her in the past two routes. I think it would be especially surprising to those who never played P1 or at least never got to her route and never witnessed that side of her. The mask (haha) would slip off, and suddenly all of her vulnerability is raw and exposed and throbbing before our very eyes.

Because, at the end of the day, Clara is a child. She is a very young girl with obvious mental health issues and a mountain load of responsibilities chained upon her back, a young girl who is bullied and verbally abused and threatened by basically every single adult she comes in contact with (not you, Lara, you’re the real one), a young girl who has been forced to act like the adult she is not because all the grown ups in her life are too incompetent to do things themselves and would rather put it all on a child like she’s their personal work dog (i understand why this is from a gameplay standpoint, she’s the player character ofc she’s going to go off and do the quests, but Jesus fucking Christ, Maria, why are you repeatedly sending a tiny middle schooler to stop the gay men from killing each other?!), a young girl with one of the most, if not the most tragic and downright cruel existences I have ever seen in a character in all of my years of engaging in fiction.

Ahem.

I just have a lot of feelings about this character, okay?

But with the way Pathologic 2 presents it’s storytelling and with the new gameplay mechanics and how it REALLY digs into where it hurts, if IPL DOES use and revamp this aspect of Clara, I think it would make the Changeling route absolutely incredible story-wise and character-wise. An exquisite emotional rollercoaster that never seems to stop going downhill. It would be the best way to strike players where it aches the most.

OR TLDR: I want Clara’s emotional problems to be brought back and expanded upon in P2 so people can see she’s not just a sassy little gremlin child (because I have a lot of feelings about her character often being reduced to just that by the fandom.)

2. An expansion on Clara being the Sand Pest.

Out of everything on this list, I think this is the most likely to come into fruition because it’s a BIG THING with her. But I still wanted to discuss it anyway because I have Many Thoughts.

So, Clara is the Plague. We know this. But in P1, I feel like it wasn’t addressed as much as it really should have. I mean, this is a GIANT revelation—that this girl is the living embodiment of this horrible disease and thousands of deaths are, technically speaking, her fault—and it’s just kinda…swept under the rug. Clara has a moment where she’s like “WHAT” and then it isn’t brought up that much after that.

(And, for the record, I understand why this is. Everyone knows by now that the Changeling route was rushed. This isn’t me ragging on IPL, especially when the Changeling route is still INCREDIBLY well-done, to the point where I personally believe the statement that it’s rushed has been greatly exaggerated by players.)

In P2, I hope that Clara being the Sand Pest is a much bigger aspect of her character because it really is a Huge Thing that needs to be expanded upon. I want to see her have a full-blown mental collapse over this because you can’t tell me that that’s not the appropriate reaction to finding out you’re a living Plague.

3. Interactions with the Sand Pest

I’m referencing that one particular Executor that shows up in P2 to taunt Artemy about killing his kids. During my run, I referred to it as “Sandy,” so for this portion, the bird is Sandy for simplicity.

So, I want Clara to interact with Sandy!

It was terrifying enough for Artemy to face off against this thing, but imagine being Clara, staring into the glowing eyes of what is essentially herself. And she’s forced to grapple with this thing, fight against the consequences of an existence she never asked for, and be constantly reminded that with every breath she takes, she’s stealing the breath from someone else.

4. More interactions between the three Mistresses

The Clara-Maria-Capella trio is really underrated in my opinion, and I hope we get to see more of those three interacting. Because we have Capella and Maria, who clearly already have this established relationship and actually like or at least respect each other, and then suddenly Clara is there, throwing off their, for lack of better words, vibe. (I just know Capella and Maria gossip about Clara when she isn’t in the Nutshell).

5. More interactions with the Albino

The relationship between Clara and the Albino is so adorable and wholesome, and Clara deserves this inkling of kinship and love that he gives her. It’s such an underrated dynamic and interaction that happens in P1, and I REALLY want to see it happen again in P2.

I hope Clara gets to meet all those Albinos that Artemy saw in the Abattoir. I think it would be cute if she just had this flock of brothers.

6. An expansion on how Clara’s powers can just backfire and kill people on accident instead of healing them

I think there were two people Clara accidentally kills in P1- Lika and that mugger outside of Barley’s lair. It’s not mentioned at all with the mugger, and then with Lika, Clara freaks out briefly and then is like “anyway…”

This “power”—the ability to kill people with a single touch—REALLY needs to be expanded upon. Because it is a GOLDMINE for trauma and guilt. It’s also just something that needs to be explored way more because it’s a really interesting concept that P1 never gave much details about.

7. A deeper look into Clara’s existence as a child of Earth

I just really love that she is a dirt child and think it’s super cool part of her character, and I want her to have a deeper connection to those roots (pun intended). The lore in the game and the Steppe culture is so interesting, and it could be explored way more through the eyes of Clara, who is new to it, whereas Artemy knew most of it and Daniil just doesn’t fucking care to learn.

8. No more “stop the gay men from killing each other” quests

As funny as the concept of this small child stopping two sexually tensive men from beating the shit out of each other is, it got REALLY OLD after the second time. At the very least, the dialogue that you get when you speak to Artemy and Daniil each time should be different every day. If they hadn’t said the same thing Every Single Time, I think I wouldn’t have minded the repetitive quests as much.

9. Bring back the Barbie Blaster

Clara is clearly bigger and a little older than she was in P1, but I hope her hands are still too tiny to hold normal guns because I honestly really liked that little mechanic. It made her different than the other two. Also the baby gun you get is literally the best gun ever, idk what hbomberguy was talking about, that thing NEVER missed for me.

10. This funky healing mechanic I thought about

So, I started wondering about something- how is healing going to work in both the Changeling and Bachelor route? After all, they can’t exactly use tinctures anymore. But given how stupidly hard the game is, I wouldn’t be surprised if it expects you to get actual medicine yourself and make yourself go broke.

I then thought about this funky mechanic! I just wanted to put it here instead of making an entirely different post.

So, instead of using tinctures, Clara uses her hands. There are the three layers, like in the Haruspex route, and depending on which layer is afflicted, Clara suffers some kind of penalty while healing the patient, whether it be hunger, exhaustion, or thirst. This makes it to where she can’t just heal people without any sort of price to pay AND it makes her healing way more important because it really was just referenced in the first game. There were less than a handful of times where she ACTUALLY healed someone (not counting the Plague victims, as that is entirely optional). So with this she ACTUALLY heals people and has a very obvious power.

(Side note: maybe the less health Clara has, the less likely she is to heal people and instead accidentally kill them. Or if she’s infected, then she kills her patient or even infects them—or raises their infection level altogether if they’re already infected.)

11. An expansion on how Clara’s healing powers literally hurt her

Empathic healing, where a person has the power to heal but they heal by essentially absorbing the ailment of a person into their own body, is SUCH a good concept, and I don’t know if this was what IPL was actually going for, but I really want Clara getting hurt when she heals to be a bigger thing in her route. Because she DOES take damage when she heals Plague victims, and MAYBE that’s just a balance thing in the game, but even still! A lot of good game mechanics can come into play if healing harms her!

12. More Lara and Yulia interactions

I don’t have much to say about this, I just really like those two and want them to talk to Clara way more

13. A cool opening animation of her birth from the Earth

Artemy got the train sequence, Daniil is probably gonna get him slogging through the Steppe because it seems like brother really fucking walked all the way to the Town, so it would make a lot of sense for Clara’s opening to be her clawing her way out of the Earth and waking up in the graveyard! I know IPL could make a really cool sequence with that, so I have high hopes.

#i know it’ll probably be another couple of years until her route is finally released #but i just wanted to voice my thoughts #ugh WHY does the bachelor have to go next #I know why obviously #but i just want clara content 😭#also please ignore how many times i say things are interesting and cool #pathologic #pathologic 2 #pathologic hd #pathologic classic hd #clara saburova #clara the changeling #clara pathologic #daniil dankovsky #daniil pathologic #the bachelor #the bachelor pathologic #artemy burakh #artemy pathologic

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ccuniculusmolestus · 2 months

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Bunny Corcoran; Neglect, Disorder and Becoming Mother

WARNING: VERY LONG POST!!

Based purely on headcanons, might be refined after a re-read (which I keep putting off bcs i want to savor the book slowly but i never get the time)

DISCLAIMER READ IF U GET PISSED OFF ABT STUFF: Okay, I headcanon that Bunny suffered from borderline personality disorder. And please I dont want anyone triggered over me self-diagnosing Bunny this is my HEADCANON and i am not romanticizing it. That being said, I am NOT a psychologist neither do I claim 2 be, these headcanons are built purely on my studies and own experiences. This is not to make light of a disorder that I know well is quite debilitating. I also understand it's different for everyone and I don't claim to be The Only Source of BPD symtoms. I think I had to say this cuz i didn't want pitchforks and all that coming 4 me for a personality analysis 😒 ANYWAY.

Here, I divided this into parts too otherwise it's a long ass yapping post:

I. Katherine Corcoran and BPD

II. A Quiet House

III. MacDonald Corcoran

IV. Father Henry

I. Katherine Corcoran and BPD

First, let's discuss Katherine, her diagnosis (which is a hc) and her parenting 'method'. I believe that Katherine Corcoran suffered from a personality disorder (BPD) (which I believe was passed down either genetically or environmentally to Bunny.) Both she and Macdonald knew there was something wrong with her, but i mean BPD was added to the DSM 5 in the 1980s (when TSH was set) so I believe when she was still younger, getting therapy or going to therapy was heavily stigmatized and also only the extremely mentally ill were treated? Perhaps it was also a social image thing, or a personal pride thing, but sis did not get help for it until much later.

This could just be "In my time, people didn't seek help," but the wording makes me believe she was about to tell an instance or experience of her own, "When I was a girl and struggling with this, I couldn't seek help" so on. She also seems to be in favor of seeking help, even if it is drug related. Makes you think she's probably had to depend on rehabilitation centers or perhaps therapeutic centers herself.

I also feel like, during the events of the book, that maybe she was on mood stabilizers just because she's so cucumber-cool and chill at the worst times. (Described as "calm as a bride" at her own son's funeral whereas her husband can't stop oscillating between bawling and playing with his grandkids.)

Let's talk about her parenting in light of BPD mothers.

According to this study, mothers with BPD might:

not respect their kids' boundaries -> leads to the child developing similar traits. Bunny did not respect boundaries either.

Neglect and emotional under-involvement by mothers with BPD can contribute to the development of BPD in their children. Environmental instability, like frequent changes in housing and schooling, further adds to the challenges. Bunny is quite literally under-developed emotionally AND also he did go thru some environmental instability and extreme neglect growing up. Case in point.

Mothers with BPD may swing between being overly involved and overly distant. This can show up as fluctuating between being controlling and being cold (A trait also expressed by Bunny later on towards his friends). For instance, they might respond to their adolescent's emotions with both neglectful and punishing reactions This inconsistency may confuse the child, making them doubt or deny their own emotions. (Bunny is in denial about a lot of things. That's his way of dealing with his emotions. After the explosive fight with Henry, for example, in Rome. After the fight he tries to pretend everything is normal.)

Apparently children of mothers with BPD tend to also develop disruptive behaviors and other external problems like ADHD. I do think Bunny suffered from ADHD, there's multiple examples of it throughout the book.

Mothers with BPD tend to communicate insensitively, using critical, intrusive, and frightening comments and behaviors. They may also struggle with role confusion, where the child takes on a more adult-like role. We have no proof of this as we never see Bunny interact with his mother. However, the intrusive thing makes me think about something. After Bunny's death, when rumors begin circulating that he was a possible drug user, Katherine reacts vehemently and takes jabs at the press for causing unnecessary emotional damage to an already 'grieving' mother. Then, she orders an autopsy, which is incredibly invasive, not to clear Bunnys name or anything, but to clear her own name.

now I know that running the test would also help clear Bunny's name but you know one of the biggest reasons of denying an autopsy of a loved one is fear of their disfigurement. That's why some families actually tend to not go for autopsies if a coroner or the law doesn't require it. And I know this would've helped Bunny's case in clearing his name but her reasoning behind allowing the disfigurement of her own son post-mortem is just....its so sickening. I felt so sad? 😭 especially in the 1970s, around that time, autopsies were very invasive and didnt deal with people as respectfully as they do today. :(

Additionally, BPD can make SOME mothers incapable of bonding with their own children. They have difficulties with bonding an attachment, thus leading to neglect and a disinterest in their kids' lives. They might also lack empathy as an general thing when dealing with BPD but dont take these statements as like a 100% BPD analysis by a true and learned scholar of BPD YOU NEED TO THINK CRITICALLY. NOt everyone with BPD is like this. They CAN be like this. And I think Katherine was indeed such a mother, because we can see from Bunny's upbringing, and then Bunny's death what kind of a woman she was basically. Bunny's death did not really bother her, only the shame he brought on the family name did. She wasn't emotionally bonded to him, neither does she appear emotionally bonded to her own grandkids, like her husband is. You can even say she probably lacked empathy for her kids.

Now, BPD isn't largely genetic like Bipolar but it has genetic predisposition.

That genetic predisposition paired with environmental influences like neglect can lead to the development of BPD, which is I believe what happened with Bunny. I mean, we can also argue that Bunny's dad was so emotionally volatile. He jumped from one mood to the other, and I'm not being cringey and self-diagnosing (?) book characters but he probably had a mood disorder (Bipolar disorder perhaps) which is largely genetic. So that means Bunny possibly had two parents with personality disorders.

But I do believe Bunny is more similar to his mother than Richard realized or noted in the books, I think. The way he was beginning to get into drugs, too idk. I feel like Macdonald's influence on the boys' behaviors is very prominent, but to see Kathy's influence, you'd have to see their sons up-close. We really only saw Bunny up-close, and that too only from Richard's (very biased imo) opinion

Idk why this made me think of how Bunny was so smiley, but so hateful. He seems amiable at first, and then he seems like a bitch. Same with Katherine. The news was first reporting her as this classy, perfect woman, and then the press turned against her after the interview at the restaurant, after which psychologists began saying the family was dysfunctional and that parents' habits were picked up by their kids (again, this might be an allusion to Katherine's drug addiction mirrored with Bunny's developing drug dependency/usage/interest)

Anyway, building on that, I just wanna say I think Kathy and Macdonald's parenting style was very inconsistent, and most of the times just downright neglectful. This much is clear; the Corcoran household struggled with emotional volatility. Environments like these can seriously alter the brain chemistry of children who grow up in them, and they act as triggers for activating the genetic influences (so basically gene expression can be turned off or on by certain environments)that are present within someone.

So growing up Bunny often felt like his mom loved him, then she didn't, then she did, so on. This could be because of the medications she was on and also her personality disorder. It's mentioned in the books how Bunny was miraculously the best out of all the Corcoran family members (Charles says this) and I think maybe Bunny was more in touch with his emotions than MOST of them; his parents, his siblings, AND his friends.

________________________

II. A Quiet House

I know the popular notion is that the youngest child is the most spoilt but tbh sometimes they can be the loneliest.

The eldest two brothers (Hugh and Ted) have kids that are like, I think almost 10 years old, so I think there's a considerable age gap between (Bunny, Patrick, Brady) & (Hugh and Teddy). Because, like, Bun and Brady are still in school, and Patrick is doing some business start-up thing I think??Anyway, the point I was going to make is that the Corcoran boys were shipped off to boarding schools when they were pretty young, and boarding schools typically start accepting at around age 11 I think. But I think prep boarding schools also exist and your kid can be as young as 7 before you ship them off to stay at the school.

A thing to note, prep boarding schools are VERY expensive and thus exclusive, so if the Corcorans are sending their kids to boarding schools purely for the image of being rich (which we all know that image was the most important thing for them), they might have done that tbh. Which brings me to this point, the age gap isnt too big between Bunny & (Brady+Patrick) but they'd still get to go to boarding school before Bunny, meaning Bunny was younger than 7 years old, and most probably isolated because all his brothers were not at home anymore and he was left to just his neglectful mother (considering his father would be at work) .

Bunny's isolation was probably more pronounced than his brothers, because older siblings being grouped together ended up with him being alone in the developmental years of his life. That could be why he is more dysfunctional than his brothers, but he also might not be more dysfunctional, because we have no idea what his brothers are like in their personal relationships.

________________________

III. Macdonald Corcoran

Donald is an obviously affectionate parent, as we can see, but I have this headcanon which basically ties into all this. I feel like Donald was mostly preoccupied with taking care of his ill wife. I do think he genuinely loved her, idk why, he just seems like the kind of guy. And again, this is not a generalization of BPD women as partners, but it is an analysis of Kathy's overall personality and interactions with Donald in light of the possibility that she had BPD. So this is not a generalization. But Kathy would be the kind of high-maintenance person that Bunny was turning into.

High-maintenance BPD partners are likely to require constant understanding and validation to endure and relieve suffering, which I think Katherine would need a lot in their earlier years or when their kids were young (she starts taking mood stabilizers later, when the stigma reduces mayhaps? So before that they were probably a very volatile dynamic.) Also this is purely my headcanon but like, I think Donald is the sort who would try and avoid conflict with Katherine or at the very least, bend to her whims.

This interaction kind of shows us how she's dismissive towards his attempts at remaining neutral or even positive about a harmless action performed by people they knew. 'It's a common cognitive distortion in BPD, where individuals may swing between idealization and devaluation, perceiving situations or people as either entirely good or completely bad.' BPD is also marked by negative thinking patterns, and often times their partners/friends have to either validate their concerns or try and challenge them. We can see here that Donald is on friendlier terms with the Bartles, he calls them by their first name, but she calls them by their title. Still, she doesn't care that her husband seems to like them and disparages their 'gift'.

Anyway, their dynamic is a whole thing, I believe, and I think Donald might have actually made for a decent father had he not been torn between choosing his wife and his kids. Can't blame him or be mad at him for choosing his wife, either, maybe he had already almost lost her and became afraid of that possibility re-occurring.

So like, even when he'd come home, he'd spend time with his wife who, yes, she needed him, but he obviously neglected his kids in that aspect.

________________________

IV. Father Henry

You know how Bunny is always begging Henry for attention? He specifically needs Henry's attention, because Henry is the man in his life who he has given the 'Father' role to.

The providing role- Henry fulfills Bunny's need for a stable father, his stoicism keeps Bunny's volatile self grounded. Understand this-- Why does Bunny gravitate to Henry more?

Because of his riches? Partly.

Francis was also rich, and he was probably a bigger pushover than Henry, but Bunny still preferred Henry over Francis. It was not all about the money. Bunny needed the father he yearned for since childhood. In his mind, he'd built Henry up into this figure he could depend on no matter what. That scene with Richard in the restaurant-- Bunny's in trouble, first thing he does is call Henry, like a kid who expects their parent to always get them out of trouble. Richard even describes Bunny's behavior around Henry that of a 'bad child'.

That's why Bunny expects Henry to give him the world. That's why he respects him even after everything starts going to shit, even when he won't respect anyone else, because he never grew up, and, despite being 24 years of age he was still desperately seeking the love he knew he could have almost had. Sure, his mother perhaps would never have loved him, but his father could have loved him more, been more attentive. I don't think Donald was restrictive with his affection at all, but I do think he was not nearly as attentive as Bunny needed him to be.

You could argue he has daddy issues, so he seeks a deep relationship with a man who cannot give him what he needs. What's worse is I know Henry was trying desperately to not be his own father (Mr. Winter). He viewed parenthood as something negative, but he was pushed into that role unintentionally by Bunny. I don't think either of them realized what was going on.

Which is funny because Henry's weird co-dependent daddy-issue relationship with Bunny was what kind of lead to not only his own decline and death, but the decline of their friendship, the death of Bunny, and the decline of the Greek class. 💀

Also something to add, I can also say that I think Henry's relationship with Bunny actually began shaping Henry more into the mold of his father, Mr. Winter.

From what we can tell or assume, Henry's father was:

cold, distant (Henry's mother is depressed, meek, subservient. Henry himself has no interaction with his father. His father does not attend his funeral)

abusive (probably lead to Henry's injuries either directly or indirectly). he could have been either emotionally or physically abusive.

exercises influence through money (can be inferred although it cannot be said with 100% certainty. He's a distant business tycoon who is involved in some shady stuff, there's a level of corruption there and usually these kinds of themes are at play in such situations. But I can acknowledge this is a bit of a reach).

Henry is not cold or distant by default, I believe. I mean yeah he's kind of closed-off, but he wouldn't necessarily ignore or avoid someone just because. He becomes avoidant and cold, and distant specifically to Bunny after the turmoil with Bunny pushes him to that point.

He can't really be called abusive but he did hit Bunny (even if it was an impulse and he didn't mean it) and then throw (?) a chair at him later (definitely meant that). Also the cold and distant comes into play here because he let Bunny cry himself to sleep and did not bother apologizing even once, or even checking in on him. I know this is not his fault- he was traumatized, he didn't want to fight Bunny anymore- but there's also a level of "I'm done with this and I dont care about it anymore". Henry is shown to have a "idc" personality from the start which I think becomes exacerbated towards Bunny due to Bunny's behavior. But also, even after their fight in Rome, even when they were interacting normally, Henry did not apologize to Bunny for the crap he wrote in his journal about him. Instead, he just "tolerated" Bunny a bit more for like 2 days before abandoning him in Rome

I mean Henry didn't really leverage his financial position and privilege over Bunny

So it's a very fucked up dynamic, can you see it? They had very different relationships with their fathers, and very different expectations and views of one another. Henry never asked to be put into the shoes of Bunny's father, and Bunny never meant to push Henry into becoming Mr. Winter, but alas.

#also what if henry killed himself because he realized he was becoming his father by the way....idk just a thought #i fucking rambled again #this post has been in the works for so long but i just sat down to write it and like #i should be stuydung #help #the secret history #bunny corcoran #tsh #henry winter #tsh donna tartt #winterbunny #macdonald corcoran #katherine corcoran

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ghostsandfools · 1 month

Text

Gemini is so neurodivergent I don't know how nobody's talking about it.

OKAY, strap in, this one's gonna be long, and it's gonna be ranty, and I'm going to do it anyways.

Gemini is probably my favorite character... EVER. They are so perfect, I love them so much, I will die on this hill. They are the one constant for me. In this crazy, overly controversial fandom, in this crazy, overly controversial world, we all have one thing we can count on: Gemini. AND THEY GET SO LITTLE SCREENTIME! But that's not why I'm here.

So, almost everyone in TSBS has signs of some sort of mental illness or neurodivergency. This is not new. But I really wanna get into it with Gemini because I feel like nobody cares enough about them!

So, I'm going to split this up into parts. One for Pollux, one for Castor, and one for Gemini. Just to make it easier. LET'S GO!

Pollux:

So, Pollux. The first signs start to show with her when she was first introduced. She's hyper, she's unfocused, she's friendly, she's all over the place. These are very stereotypical, very basic signs of ADHD. HOWEVER, I actually DON'T think she has ADHD. I think she's just hyper sometimes. ADHD is much more that just being a little off the walls, it's a genuine disability that makes it difficult to focus or remember things, and I feel like if you dig deeper, that's not what's going on with her.

I do think that she's neurodivergent, however, in some capacity. Probably autism. I think her and Castor both have autism actually, but I'll get in to him later.

First of all, hyperactivity can also be a sign of autism. And while, when she first comes to Earth it seems as though she can't focus on any specific thing, I think that's because she's focused on Earth as a whole, explaining her interest in anything on Earth. I think learning about and exploring Earth might be one of her special interests, or maybe just exploring planets in general.

Now, the next point might just be due to technical issues, but maybe not. Pollux and Castor both have pretty blank faces, and don't have very many emotes. It may have just been a problem with their 3d modelling, so not the strongest point, but neurodivergent people and people on the spectrum often have difficulty with facial expressions, something I've also struggled with.

Pollux definitely has less neurodivergent coding than Castor does, but I think it's still there.

Castor:

Castor. I don't even know where to start with him.

When Castor was first introduced, he was very unexpressive and monotone, already a symptom of neurodivergency.

He also struggles socially, more so than Pollux. While Pollux was over-bearing, she had no trouble making friends once the chance arose. Castor, on the other hand, was perceived by most of the main cast as "creepy" or "rude", which hits closer to home than I want to admit.

But, over time, it becomes clearer and clearer that he only wants what's best. He doesn't intend to be terse, or rude, or weird, he's just never interacted with anyone that wasn't a star before.

Pollux seemed to adjust well to the environment on Earth once she learned more about the people there, but it seems Castor struggled a lot more with adapting in a new environment.

Castor is also a very private person. He has hobbies and emotions and thoughts, but he keeps them all to himself. Of course, after a while of spending time with Lunar, he starts to speak his mind more, which eventually led up to the last episode we saw him in where he yelled at Lunar for killing Eclipse. Still, I find it interesting that it took an extreme situation like that for him to finally speak his mind.

Gemini:

Gemini <3

Pollux and Castor work extraordinarily well together. They are THE siblings of all time, I love them.

I'm going to delve into headcanons for a minute here, but I feel like the other astrals don't like them very much. We never hear Gemini really talk about the other astrals, aside from basic details.

I feel like, after living with people for your entire life, your SIBLINGS, and those being the ONLY people you interacted with, you'd have some fond memories of them.

But they don't. And even now, there's tension between Gemini and the rest of the astrals. They clearly stand out. The other astrals seem to not take them seriously, and don't exactly listen to them. I feel like, from that recent scene from Taurus, maybe the other astrals, at least some of them, actively DISLIKE Gemini.

This may be why they're so unused to socially interacting on Earth. They probably spent very little time with their siblings, especially considering Nebula's existence. Maybe their siblings didn't visit them at all. That thought makes me sad.

Feeling outcasted is commonplace for neurodivergent people, as well as being perceived wrong.

Closing thoughts: Okay, I might be projecting here. I'm not sure. As someone who is neurodivergent, I identify with Gemini harder than any other fictional character. They're so special. I don't know if I'm picking up on subtext that isn't there, but if you have any thoughts, please share. I wanna know what you guys think.

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akystaracer22 · 1 month

Text

The Exception to the Rule

Synopsis: How far do you bend your morals for someone you love?

Notes:

This is definitely a turning point to the story and is a little jump ahead of everything so far.

From here on out, there will be two different types of oneshot, flashback oneshots which happen either in Heaven or in Eden, and present day oneshots which are primarily in Hell.

This also adds a new epithet to Adams repertoire! Technically.

There are OC’s in this one, I can’t avoid it.

Heaven politics! Theres a lot going on in heaven I can’t talk about because nobody in hell knows about it, but I can finally start talking!

I listened to More than Anything, Connor’s Main Theme, and Gladiator while writing this.

In exchange for starting the extermination early, the one after would take 18 months as opposed to 12.

I have named over 60 exorcists. If you see a reference no you don’t.

Vaggie wasn’t the first angel to show mercy to a sinner.

I drop so much fucking lore in this jesus fuck.

This one shot was supposed to come so much later.

Shit

SO, MICHAEL’S INVOLVED NOW!

Hey uh, you know how I said I can’t write stupid characters? Yeah… Adam can act and think like a damn general now ig.

Adams over 6,000 years old he knows how to move quickly.

... I really like my BAMF characters huh.

Word Count: 1862

Fic under cut!

“Adam?”

“Over here Luci,” The first man replied easily, looking towards where the angel had entered the wastelands.

Well… wastelands was a bit of a stretch now.

Once he was able to improve the soil, grass was able to finally start growing and…

The oak tree Adam was taking a break under was a testament to his labour. It was still growing and would probably take another year or so with the help of Lucifer’s magic before it’d resemble the mighty trees most people knew.

It didn’t make Adam any less proud of it.

The fallen angel got up and stretched his wings as Lucifer rounded a crag and came into view.

One of Adams wings hiked up before he could shove the instinct down, it was just Lucifer.

“Charlie wanted to know if you wanted to come up for lunch or if you’re fine down here,” The devil started, “She and Maggie are making pastries from the pear’s you dropped off yesterday.”

“Vaggies baking? Better hope your daughters good then, Vaggie’s got a tendency to burn whatever she touches.”

Regardless, Adam started making his way towards the hotel, completely disregarding the unspoken offer to just teleport there.

Lucifer just laughed and unfurled his wings as Adam began the trek up the stairs, flying up beside the man.

“I doubt you have room to talk about when it comes to cooking.”

“I helped Eve cook you know,” Adam scoffed, “I had a few specialties of my own.”

“And yet Maggie can’t cook.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, plenty of my daughters can cook! Lux is extremely good at dessert foods and Needle can make some great fucking lunches.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really! It’s Mari you have to look out for. The presentation of her food? Stunning, beautiful, gourmet even. The taste? I thought I was going to die a second time over the toilet.”

Lucifer cackled and a light chuckle escaped Adams lips as the angel almost fell out of the sky at the mental image.

“Shut up! I’m serious I thought I caught some sort of illness! They don’t even have illnesses in heaven!”

“I would pay to see that!”

“I bet you would be you sick fuck.”

“Hey! I-”

Lucifer went dead silent, and Adam almost asked what was wrong before he heard it too.

Shouting.

He didn’t even glance at his friend as they were both caught in Lucifer’s magic, bringing them both to the hotel lobby.

“I’ll stop the fight.”

“I’ll grab my fucking axe,” Adam headed down the hallways until he found the gym, carefully taking his axe off the wall and slinging it over his back before booking it to the hotel exit.

“If you’d just give me a minute-!”

“Your majesty-”

“Alastor.”

“Mom!”

“Oh for fucks sake!”

Adam slammed open the doors and jumped the stairs, “What the fuck is going on-!”

Adams brain short circuited immediately after taking in the situation.

Lucifer was frozen stiff with his wings spread wide, his head whipping around to stare open mouthed at Adam. Alastor and Lilith’s glaring contest was broken as they also stared at the first man. The princess and Vaggie were holding hands and Charlies demonic traits receded at Adams arrival.

The other residents were also still at the first mans arrival, nervousness and surprise evident in everyone expressions, even Nifty stopped moving. Under normal circumstances Adam’s gut would have twisted from all the attention.

That usual knee jerk response was completely crushed under the weight of the other three present.

Adam was barely aware of the fact that he’d dropped his axe as he took in the maskless faces of three of his exorcists.

Echo almost dropped her scimitars; her hair was undone from it’s usual bun to brush against her shoulders. She almost stepped back from him before a wing from her sisters steadied her.

Delta was much more graceful, sheathing her rapier and swallowing thickly; Adam understood how she felt. She’d recently had a haircut, her undercut looking crisper than the last time he saw her.

Nina’s war pick clattered to the ground as she brought her hands to her mouth, tears cropping up in the corners of her eyes as she took in his ruined form. In contrast to Delta, her hair had grown out; the normal buzz cut fading.

Adam stood in the silence, wings slowly folding in from where he had mantled them prior. He didn’t know what to do. These were his girls, and they were here and fuck, they were outnumbered. But… shit they were here to kill him weren’t they.

“…Sir?”

Fuck it.

The first man sprinted forward; wings spread wide as he reached out for the three of them. Weapons hit the ground as he pulled his kids into a hug.

If he was going to die, he’d like to die hugging his girls.

Adam didn’t expect the three of them to hug back. His shoulder grew wet as Nina’s tears started to fall; Echo made a soft noise as she buried her head in the feathers of his good wing. Delta’s wings were touching the tips of his own as she all but collapsed into the huddle.

Huh, seems like they were all mad here.

Adam didn’t give a fuck; he was hugging his exorcists and that was enough for him at the moment.

“So… we’re good?”

Moment over.

Adam pulled away to glare at Lucifer, “Do you fucking mind?”

“Sorry sorry! I’ll shut up now!”

“No, you’ve ruined it. Moments gone and done thanks to you,” Adam huffed, regretfully stepping away from his girls even as he kept his good wing extended to the three exorcists, guiding them by the wing towards the hotel.

“Come on, I have a feeling you three aren’t here just for show.”

- - ┈┈∘┈˃̶༒˂̶┈∘┈┈ - -

Adam blew lightly on his tea before sipping it, leaning forward to pour the exorcists some tea as he worked to calm his still slightly frayed nerves.

He’d managed to move the girls into a private room before unceremoniously kicking everyone else out, if anything happened Lucifer would break into the room in a flash, so it wasn’t like he was in any real danger.

Besides, they were his girls, it’d be fine.

“So,” Adam swallowed, before “What brings you three to this side of the pentagram? The hunts not on for another eight months.”

Echo swallowed thickly and Nina bowed her head, it was Delta who answered.

“I- Netto discovered that heaven knew you were alive, sir. Lute wanted to come down immediately but the rest of us were able to convince her otherwise.”

“She’s too far in the eyes of the high seraphim, if she disappeared they’d know.”

“So, we decided to go instead,” Nina finished for her sisters.

Adam stared at the three of them, horrified, “What?”

“What Nina’s saying is… we’re staying here.”

“Why the fuck would you three do that!” Adam hissed, feathers bristling at the implications, “You all have so much to lose-”

“We don’t,” Delta asserted, scowling at the window, “You know damn well what hells denizens took from us.”

Adam froze as the image flashed into the forefront of his mind.

Charlie. Echo and Delta’s missing piece to their trio. They were best friends even beyond the bonds of sisterhood. Where one was the other two were close by. Charlie was the sunshine to their storm, always taking time out of her own day to brighten up the other exorcists. She preferred to use a crossbow to keep away from sinners, something Adam was always grateful for.

Charlie’s body was missing several ribs and most of her organs, looking every part like it had been ravaged by monsters. It took effort Adam didn’t have every day to not go to cannibal town and raze it to the ground. For Charlie, for Zirco, for Steel, for Feather and Annie and every exorcist he failed.

Even-

A scream, a plea as Adam struggled against divine magic nononono please stOP PLEASE-

Wasp

Adam whole body tensed up. Fuck, Wasp. He hadn’t- shit he’d almost managed to convince himself that that had never-

Fuck.

The girls were looking at him now, Nina reaching out a hand to him.

“And you?”

The hand pulled away, “What?”

“Nina, why did you decide to come down here,” Adam rasped, “You- fuck you were planning on proposing to your girlfriend why-”

“Because your our leader,” Nina answered quietly, like she wasn’t taking Adams breath away with a single sentence, “And Regina understood, she agreed with me.”

Nina held up her phone with a sad smile, “Besides, at least this way it’s easier for me to watch out for her dad.”

Adam wanted to send the three of them back to heaven immediately, this was no place for angels. Vaggie was lucky she found Charlie immediately.

But Delta and Echo had backbones of steel, and once Nina set her mind to something there was no stopping her.

Shit, Netto and Lute were smart to send them.

Wait-

“What did you mean when you said heaven knew I fell Delta,” Adam whispered, “I should have fucking died. How did Netto find out I fell.”

Delta sighed and gazed tiredly at him, “Same way she always finds things out, she got it straight from Michaels lips.”

Adams blood froze before his mind caught up with him. Michael was involved with this. Fuck of course he was it was Michael, and if he was involved… then it stands to reason the rest of the ancient archangels had something to do with all of this too.

The first man stood up before pausing, if his gut was right, this wasn’t just about his fall. For the ancient archangels to be aware of his fall and do nothing for ten months… there was something he was missing.

He’d need to wait, maybe even bring Lucifer and the others in on this. But first…

“I’m in room 2101, Lucifer’s wing. 2100 is taken by the king of hell himself and his wife but the rest of the floor is empty,” the three exorcists perked up at Adams commanding tone, “Get set up and get settled in. Echo, send a message to the others and tell them I’m okay.”

“Already done.”

“Love that, Delta how is training looking?”

“Lute’s leading the effort sir, we’ve been working hard to fix our holes.”

“Great, get back in contact with Lute. I have a few techniques that can help. And for fucks sake tell her to use whatever prosthetic she has to her advantage; I fucking know she’s not.”

“Yes sir!”

“Nina, keep an ear out. Both for anything Netto has for us and for anything in hell. Carmilla Carmine, and the Vees are important. Especially Carmine, she’s the one with the angelic steel. Do not engage.”

“Go it sir.”

“Good, I’ll get you three for dinner. Remember, stay sharp, stay armed, and whatever you do. Don’t fucking trust the Radio Demon. He’ll kill everyone in this hotel the moment he’s off his fucking leash.”

The leader of the exorcists watched the three of them head down the hallway towards the front desk before turning and heading for the stairwell.

He had a lot to think about, and from the looks of things he still had an extermination to plan.

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