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socksandbuttons · 6 months

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Bean Eclipse Au has my love and seeing any post makes me very happy but now I want to get to know your Space au a little. May you give us some funfacts about the characters to get to know them better?

Aw thank you! I'll do my best describing some things! Its been a moment where I dont know what ive said about them on here. ((The ladies, are by @nekojaf so if u want info on them you gotta ask her!)) First, We got Eclipse (yes thats his name, unless we go au hopping its-)

-He's a captain of his own spaceship (however its mostly a ship that can house just a handful of people.)

-He's self confident, he's got leadership qualities and doesn't stand down often. However can be a huge flirt (as Beige unfortunately deals with). -I've mentioned before but Eclipse (like other models of his kind) are far more Emotive than the previous models.

-Eclipse is the reason Lunar has a collection of plushies. The guy is very good with sewing. -He's not familiar too much with the 'Star' like SAMS' Eclipse is. At least not currently. He's far more concerned with other things.

-His relationship with Earth is rather... interesting. He may be vocal about not wanting to speak to her but its mostly cause she's like a mom who tends to baby him. (Although he can't blame her frequent check ins.) -Most people avoid him, but that's cause he's made an interesting name for himself.

Lunar, my BOY who started this whole au actually.

-The space suit was given to him by Eclipse. Who may have taken it.

-He comes off as sweet, but don't think less of him in comparison with his brother. He's mischievous as well, and cunning when needed.

-Far better at keeping his emotions in check than Eclipse.

-Unlike Eclipse (again) he's actually rather good at y'know. Getting the girl.

-However, he is younger than Eclipse. In part not as experienced with the whole line their apart of.

-Rather handy with his shots, but better at driving. Also has a bit of a name for himself.

-Cannot actually believe how his brother acts around Beige from time to time. He's judging his brother immensely everytime. Just let her clear the hyperdrive so they can go!

Moon!

-It should not be a shock he's still a scientist in this au. (Mad scientist Sun would say...)

-But in part of that, its due to being part of a Space Camp. He's suppose to be in charge of the sciences of how rockets run. However he uses most of that to make his own things.

-It usually does end up with the kids handling it. Unless Sun gets involved. Kids love the anti gravity chamber a lot.

-Also in this AU he is still AroAce.

-However since Sun and him are under a company, they don't usually leave the Camp. They can't really.

-Moon has made a Star.

Sun, sweetie my darling.

-Although him and Moon run the Camp together, Sun mostly handles the kids. (Although, Sun more or less just doesn't want them getting hurt cause of Moon's experiments.) -He's been having trouble with some outsiders makings noise lately but it's usually something he can handle. The dome around the place keeps the camp relatively safe (and Safer with Moon's additional technology)

-He goes by his own checklist, although the one from the higher ups isn't something he wants to fully deviate from. It's kept things running, and their own job secure.

-He may be dressed up as a Spaceman, he's uh... not actually one. At least not by astronaut standards.

-They don't talk to other models of themselves.

-Earth and Sun usually can talk for hours. However, he tries not to keep her too long. She's got others to check in.

Bloodmoon, yes it's him!

-The possibly second youngest.

-He's the only model of his type that... well Ruby's seen actually.

-An avid fan of Invader Zim, due to many movie nights he's had with Ruby. (In an effort to help him learn some things about people...without being near too many.) -He doesn't understand why he needed clothes, unaware of his own autonomy.

-Unfortunately for everyone, WAS destroying planets and ships, destruction in his wake. No one could keep him contained. Until Ruby. But she's not really trying to contain him.

-His curiosity mainly keeps him in check, at least in regard to his learning program. He still seeks some chaos, even if it is on a isolated ship in the meantime.

-Comet Boy! Danger, do not engage.

Angel, y sweet sweett bababyyy

-Probably the oldest? He's quite a mess it's hard to tell.

-Has been passed around here and there from job to job so he's very well versed in many skills!

-Earth finding him again was a blessing. She thought she lost him. Incredibly thankful for Cosmo.

-Is far more interesting in helping Cosmo than being helped. He's survived quite a bit!

Killcode, don't you forget my giant man.

-Was made by Moon, or from Moon. In doing so, he's got a few quirks he picked up.

-Such as... He's actually less violent. However able to withstand radiation, rocket blasts, high velocity impact, mundicide... Assumingly.

-Incredibly Tall. A normal person would maybe feel incredibly intimidated by how much he towers.

-A darling cook, he mostly has to kneel for that though. Not many ktichens he's been in are for his height.

-He's a rather calming personality, has no qualms to start fights.

Earth and Solar Flare (or welll... the ACTUAL Sun)

-Two AI's made for well.. as you guess the Earth and the Sun.

-Earth is as expected to be motherly, warm, stern with her own wants. While SF has less expected results of being rather recluse, cold, to the point and selective in their interactions.

-Earth is partly why the actual planet is far cleaner. With her being actually forthright about the planets condition. It helps if theres someone who may be disappointed if you throw your trash on the ground, or company's dumping waste. She may have been made, but she more or less is her own being. Most don't mind since her main concerns usually fall with her own planets affairs. That doesn't mean she doesn't have concerns of other places.

-SF was made as a safe bet to monitor the sun. However, hue to unexpected AI developing their own personality. SF doesn't fairly speak to much anyone aside Earth. He rather feels she's better at relaying information than he is. Ironic, they find.

-Recently some reptilian android has started to make some impressions on Earth, SF doesn't normally hear her talk about individuals like this aside the 'children' she oversees.

-Earth also ended up supervising the celestial and eclipse models. Attaching to them far more than expected but due to- [The Rest is too glitched to make out.]

Well that was more typing than I thoguht it'd be. But me and Neko have quite a bit of art. The main inspiration for a lot of it is retro futurism. But thank you for asking! You also got Earth in there too. My sweet lady I love her.

#solar flares design needs some work actually but thats kinda because his OG look IS more on line with the style actually.#anyway theres lore here and there but also #missing a few things #lots of romance in this au more than u think #ALSO YEAH MONTY IS IN THERE BUT UH DFBHSJKDS #sams space au #space sams au #tsams #sun and moon show #myart #*looks at all the art i havent show* ah #i think about the models and their differences a bit more and time... but another day when it comes up

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prpfs · 5 months

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Hello! 🌊🏴‍☠️☠ Im 20+ looking for others 20+ please!

Ive been in the mood lately for a plot based on the classic Pirate x Royalty trope!! I have a very loose idea in mind and would love to be able to plot out details about it all with you. Im mainly looking for FxF or MxM for this! Id prefer to have the royalty role BUT if youd prefer to play as the royalty, definitely let me know and we can absolutely talk about it and work something out!

The outline of an idea I had for the plot would be Your Character kidnaps mine either as revenge against the king and the kingdom for ransom (we can discuss details of why in DMs) or maybe simply for another reason entirely. My OC, while displeased about having been kidnapped, is weirdly relieved due to your OC doing so as it maybe has saved them from an arranged marriage they didnt want to be apart of, or maybe they simply just didnt enjoy the life of royalty and wanted a way out and your OC gave them that even if in a questionable and unintended way. Whether or not my OC stays relieved depends entirely on your OC and how you want them to treat mine! While I'd prefer a slow-burn sort of thing between our characters, possibly a mix of enemies to lovers and strangers to lovers, Im not dead set on it and don't mind if things go in a different direction entirely. Im absolutely open to other ideas as well so feel free to toss some my way too! Id love to hear any ideas youve got as well.

Another possible idea I had alongside this one is something with a Pirate x Pirate trope instead, maybe one of our OC's ships crashed in a storm and the other finds them and takes them aboard their own ship to help them? Maybe they have an enemies/rivals thing going on with one of them has something the other wants, so when one of them finds the other in the ruins of their ship, they hold them and what remains of their crew (if any) hostage until they give them what they want? Id also lean towards this one being a slow burn enemies to lovers sort of thing but just like with the previous idea, I dont mind if the idea goes a different route!

I know both of those ideas are pretty bare bones and simple right now but Id absolutely love to flesh out either idea with you, or even use a new idea entirely whether its an idea you may already have or if its a new idea we create together, Id love to hear any and all your thoughts and ideas!! Im also open to mixing AU's with these tropes too, so hit me with some if you have any youd want to use!!

Im honestly not looking for any NSFW right now so Id prefer to keep this SFW, so please keep this in mind!

That being said, I dont mind potential dark themes popping up considering some aspects of the plot all I ask is that we discuss everything beforehand first.

My writing style tends to be very lengthy by default but I will always try to match my partner to the best of my abilities! Please no one liners though, give me soemthing to work with! My availability fluctuates often so bare with me, I will always try my best to let you know beforehand if I wont be available for any given time.

I think thats it!! This will be on Discord! If you're interested, like this post and I will reach out!

like if you're interested and op will get back to you

#mxm rp #fxf rp #original rp #20+ rp #fandomless rp #oc rp #ocxoc rp #oc roleplay #dead dove

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findroleplay · 5 months

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Hello! Im 20+ looking for others 20+ please!

Im honestly not looking for any NSFW right now so Id prefer to keep this SFW, so please keep this in mind!

That being said, I dont mind potential dark themes popping up considering some aspects of the plot all I ask is that we discuss everything beforehand first.

I think thats it!! If you're interested, like this post and I will reach out!

#rp #roleplay #oc rp #original rp #fandomless rp #mxf rp #pirate rp

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noxiatoxia · 1 year

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Hi! So I have a few things I wanted to say/ask so hopefully this isn't too long or out of place or anything

Okay so first off, you always reblog and say such nice things about my art in the tags and I wanted to say I appreciate it so much, I never know what to say but like you're the backbone of the hikakao community so it feels like a seal of approval in a way haha. And your art is so amazing like, damn! I love it sm. Kaoru has been my fav character for nearly a decade so I love seeing that its not just me he has a grip on, and as an autistic person myself who loves princesses’ and specifically Cinderella… well your hc means a lot to me haha. Oh and your hanahaki fic??? I ugly cried. SO damn good like the characterizations… one of the best Hikakao fics I've read on god

So I kinda wanted to ask two things, first being if you had to choose for the other hosts to have a fav princess who would it be? Im personally very partial to Tamaki loving Belle, given the like french beauty and romanticism of it all, plus her giving herself up for the safety of a parent connection. I like the idea of him being kinda dumb and taking it as you need natural inner AND outer beauty, which he oh so obviously has in spades and that kind of nonsense. Idk I was just curious if you'd have an opinion on this as ive been giving it some thought lately. Especially on Hikaru, I think he would like a more down to earth princess that doesn't have too much frills or singing in the film, like Merida because it's the most adventurous one without character songs if you're just going off disney. But idk I feel like another princess would suit him better, I just can't think of one rn

Second was if you had any thoughts or analysis of how the maid the twins had when they were young impacted them and their development? And more importantly how it impacted them each differently? Like obviously her saying no one may ever be able to tell them apart fucked with their heads, but like idk. Ive been thinking about it. And what if they never met her, and she never said that? Would they of been less warped? I think they'd just meet someone else who they liked who couldn't tell them apart, who'd just say the same thing in a different way. But how key was her betrayal of trust during a high stakes robbery of their parent's estate to all this? Im just musing at this point lmao

Oh also less an ask but I personally hc Kaoru to dissociate and the like frequently, and how maybe them being in sync all the time in their mannerisms really helps him with his autopilot moments, and Hikaru is always ready and able to catch him up to speed on what's happening and what they just did, if its something he would care to know that is. And I hc Hikaru as bipolar, his depression just manifests really angerly instead of traditional sadness. But my point is I love the idea that they're just so used to the other that any mentally ill or neurodivergent behavior one of them does the others just like “Oh yeah Kaorus just like that. You know how it is. What do you mean you don't know anyone afraid of hairdryers? Like legit afraid? Yeah no thats just a thing. Hmm. Well you should get over it it's his fear not yours I dont see how it concerns you.” and like gets defensive if anyone tries to say it's weird lmao

Okay that was long oops I hope this wasn't out of place or weird or anything, I got excited talking about it haha. Hope all is going well!!

THIS IS SO FUCKING SWEET YES!!! I WAS DRAWING HIKAKAO RIGHT AS YOU SENT THIS ASK TOO BTW.... i was htinking like, should i post this... theres kissing..... but then i remember why it's so rewarding to do what I love <3 really and truly. I've met SO many incredibly kind, creative, and thoughtful people through hikakao it's insane. And tbh it makes me want to never stop posting about them even if it nets me hate every now and again LMAO it's just, stuff like this is irreplaceable to me. And I LOVE your art!!!!!! It's SO cute... the picture of Kaoru dressed as cinderella made me legit scream. I sent it to all my friends and showed it to my brother haha. The whole Kaoru/Cinderella headcanon is very personal to me as you can probably gather from my carriage posting. so whenever I see it I go nuts (in a good way. it not destructive).

I think it's very funny (in a good way) that you already had a special interest in princesses, esp Cinderella. For me, it's like...I can NOT look at anything Cinderella related normally anymore because I'm reminded of the carriage allegory, and yet we have Cinderella movie nights every thursday now because of me...I describe my relationship with Cinderella as "stockholm syndrome" because i legit didn't care about or really even know Cinderella before all this went down, but now she is my Worst Enemy but Best Friend and if anybody says Cinderella is mid I'm blowing up another hostage.

Also!!! Thank you so much about the fic!!! While looking back I feel like there are def things I could improve on, I do really like that fic. As somebody who's personally arospec, I have trouble writing the "feelings" of romance so I tried my best. I have other Hikakao adjacent stories I'm writing and I wanna post them here!!!

Okay, onto the questions...firstly, YES, Tamaki DOES seem like the type to love Belle. He may also enjoy Rapunzel and her whole being held captive her whole life because maybe he feels the same way with his own family situation. Haruhi strikes me as a little mermaid type, no real reason, I just get that vibe. Although Kyoya probably relates to the original fairytale of the little mermaid in some ways for sure. I actually HC Mori's favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast, so he's probably also really into Belle. As for Hani, I'm not sure...Giselle, maybe. He likes her whimsy.

Hikaru is interesting, because I feel like he's like Me in which he HATES Cinderella because he has to hear about it 24/7 but if ANYBODY said anything mean about cinderella he'd be like...you bitch...you take that BACK. Altho I have this headcanon that Hikaru's favorite princess is Alice from Alice in Wonderland (tho she really isn't a "princess") because he always liked that movie better. Kaoru would cry as a kid tho when Hikaru said he thought that movie was better so he pretended to like Cinderella more. But he doesn't. Merida tho...that's a very good choice, I can defff seeing Hikaru being a big Merida fan.

So, to the second question: it's very interesting! What stood out about that maid to Hikaru and Kaoru was the fact she was mean to them. being raised as rich and "better" than everyone else, all the maids HAD to be nice or they got fired pretty much, so to see a maid go against that status quo, to treat them honestly...that's why they liked her so much.

If anyone else had said "nobody will be able to tell you two apart", would it have hurt? sure. But it wouldn't be devastating, because they likely wouldn't care about that person's opinion. but they liked this maid, they looked up to her in a weird way. Having somebody you like and trust tell you something hurtful is way more harmful than if a stranger did it.

Now...would they be LESS twisted if it never happened? I doubt it. I mean, maybe they'd be LESS focused on looking identical, but they would still be rather cruel and mischievous, because that's how they were simply raised: they were raised being taught their actions have no consequences, because they're better than everyone else. Simple by being "Hitachiins", they had a pass to do all sorts of nasty shit to people because they were rich and powerful. Besides, canonically, their mom & dad were barely in their lives, and child neglect causes the children to act out to get attention, usually via things that would get them scolded. So, while they miiight not have been AS keen on matching had that maid never said what she did before leaving them forever, they would probably be just as mean and cruel.

To le third point: YES that is so good. Kaoru very much dissociates in my heart of hearts as well. He has days on end where he doesn't feel like he's in his own body, everything's sort of a blur, he can't remember things well...Hikaru's there for him in those moments at least.

I always saw Hikaru and Kaoru as ADHD/Autism solidarity. But bipolar is an interesting one, too. I could def see it.

Also the hairdryer thing FUCKING RELATABLE...I'd think Kaoru is "afraid" of hairdryers/thunder - just really fucking loud noises that are sudden and/or unceasing. They don't make him "cower" necessarily but like, he gets super jittery/irritated because he gets overwhelming anxiety from it. Hikaru as a kid probably didn't understand why his brother acted so strangely to certain sights/sounds/touches, and maybe at first teased him about it, but when it was clear these things actually DISTRESSED Kaoru he stopped and did everything he could to make him feel better. and if anybody makes fun of kaoru for it Hikaru beats the shit out of them.

This was super nice ;w; I love receiving long asks, asks about ouran and the twins especially. legit if you ever wanna talk about them u can send an ask or DM me you seem really nice!!

#;noxiatalks2ya #hikakao #ohshc

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wswe-autism-fic · 10 months

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seeing as ive already given my opinions on the entire mario timeline, i may as well do sonic. no, it will not be as in depth. why? because oh my god have you ever tried piecing together the sonic timeline??? dont.

basically, i believe most alternate universes to be canon. and by the way, if its an au i havent enjoyed, im not counting it lmao.

classic games!!!

i like the generations version of things, where the classic games are when they're all younger. i'd say sonic's probably about 12, tails 5, knuckles 13 and amy 11. robotnik can be about mid to late 30s at this point and i cant be bothered with any other characters lmao

and before someone goes 'bit odd that sonic's eye colour changed lmao' ik but like it reminds me of my brother. he had the same colour eyes as me when he was a baby (really dark brown) but now his eyes are hazel (or, as my dad calls it, 'autumn'). i also like how the only reason they specifically chose green was for green hill zone. i think that's really sweet.

i also like to think the OK KO crossover happened about here, if not, very early on in the modern games. maybe sonic underground??? actually, no, i dont think sonic underground could be canon.

modern games!!!

the modern games happen in the order that they happen in. dont ask me about the weird bit. actually, just dont ask at all - nobody knows what to do with this bit. im also counting the idw comics as modern games seeing as they're apparently canon now? yeah idk either.

as for fleetway, archie and any other comics i cant think of, i havent read them, i dont know.

for the ages, generally, sonic's 15, tails 8, all canon ages, yada yada EXCEPT for amy. i dont like amy being 12, so in my head she is 14. i dont even ship sonamy, just the entire thing of her being 12 when sonic is 15 and those two being probably the most canon sonic ship out there that isn't technically canon (STOBOTNIK DOES NOT COUNT JUST IN CASE IN THE FUTURE ITS EVEN MORE EXPLICIT) really makes me feel grossed out.

oh yeah and seeing as he doesnt have a canon age, robotnik is vaguely 40.

post-timeline stuff!!!

this is mostly where actual theory comes into play, because before this point its like, yeah? we knew that? i get that sonic boom is an alternate universe, but i... i like sonic boom. i like it a lot. so it's canon in my eyes. tbf they do all look and act much older, so i'd imagine boom is a future where they're all adults. as of posting this, sticks has only just been made canon, with that mention in frontiers, so if she really does end up in any mainline games, they just happen before this. probably. i dunno, maybe they'll ruin this entire portion.

i think that robotnik is probably late 40s, early 50s by this point, and tbf i think the main cast overall is only rough suggestions, because i could imagine sonic boom happening over the course of a few years. sonic is probably about 19-25, knuckles 19-26, amy 17-24, tails 11-15, and im pretty sure sticks is about knuckles' age canonically? so we'll say she's 19-25.

i get that shadow is 50 and whatnot, probably about 55-60 at this point, but i generally think he's like, a few months older than sonic if we're going based on why we count age (experience and stuff), so probably 19-26, like knuckles.

this is where i think most crossovers take place: mario & sonic, all the weird sega sports games from the late 2000s to mid 2010s (im looking at you, sega all stars tennis/sonic and sega all stars racing (but specifically for the wii (because thats the best version))), stuff like that. with the mario timeline, i said most crossovers aren't canon, but with sonic, anything is possible! because of that, the only crossover than comes to mind that definitely wouldn't be canon is smash, and thats because smash is canonically a kid playing with their toys.

the bit where i lose my mind (aGAIN OMG THIS HAPPENED WITH MARIO)!!!

I AM NOT DOING FULL RAINBOW FOR THAT TITLE OK I CANNOT BE BOTHERED SO YOU GET IT IN PURPLE INSTEAD BECAUSE I LOVE PURPLE.

anyway, this is the bit that couldnt possibly be canon. or hell, maybe it could, the sonic lore is never logical. basically, if you havent read the mario theory, i ended up linking it to undertale, saying that undertale is basically the future of mario, at least for my favourite characters, wario and waluigi. this is like that.

hear me out:

my hero academia?

i'm sorry, but i cant help but think mha is like sonic now. its definitely more of a stretch than undertale and mario, so this one i count as being less reliable, but like... yk how shadow in every tv show has to beat tails to a pulp? shadow is bakugo and tails is deku. as for rouge, rouge is transmasc legend, kirishima. idk who omega is, but tbf he doesnt have a life, so maybe thats why.

and sonic is like all might! and knuckles is like kirishima again! but knuckles can also be iida, if he likes! and amy is uraraka! and i need therapy!

sorry. again. im very sorry. i formally apologise. i could never make this up to you. sorry.

#not wswe #sonic the hedgehog #im sorry #again

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smallbirdbigcoat · 1 year

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excellent choices!! poison ivy has such fab style i love the cramps what are your 5 favorite songs right now & why?

today i give you a poem i read recently: We will call you “Agua” like the rivers and cool jugs. We will persuade the clouds to nestle around your neck so you may sleep late. We would be happy if you slept forever. We will tend the slopes we plant, singing the songs our grandfathers taught us before we inherited their fear. We will try not to argue among ourselves. When the widow demands extra flour, we will provide it, remembering the smell of incense on the day of our Lord.

Please think of us as we are, tiny, with skins that burn easily. Please notice how we have watered the shrubs around our houses and transplanted the peppers into neat tin cans. Forgive any anger we feel towards the earth, when the rains do not come, or they come too much, and swallow our corn. It is not easy to be this small and live in your shadow.

Often while we are eating our evening meal you cross our rooms like a thief, touching first the radio and then the loom. Later our dreams begin catching fire around the edges, they burn like paper, we wake with our hands full of ash

How can we live like this? We need to wake and find our shelves intact, our children slumbering in their quilts. We need dreams the shape of lakes, with mornings in them thick as fish. Shade us as we cast and hook— but nothing else, nothing else.

Negotiations with a Volcano - Naomi Shihab Nye

that's such a beautiful poem thank you for sending it to me <33

firstly i'd probably have to say how soon is now by the smiths. the guitar in this song is just so brilliant and it rly like scratches an itch in my brain ig. its also a lot of fun to have a song you can dance to that has the lyrics "you go home and you cry and you want to die". it's a song that i listen to all the time but i feel like its still magical to me every time i hear it, like it hasn't lost all its feeling and meaning and stuff through too many listens

night of the swallow by kate bush has also been another one of my favourites lately. her vocal performance is so moving and intense and the song creates such a dramatic and exciting atmosphere that really spices up my walk home lmao.

lost in the supermarket by the clash is another song that ive literally been obsessed w recently. its rly catchy but not annoying at all, and i just like the whole idea of it. i think being lost in a supermarket is a rly interesting metaphor and has some really interesting imagery to me. suburbia is a theme that rly interests me in art as well, which is another reason that i connect w the song a lot.

a night like this by the cure is also another fave. its so dramatic and cool, and its a song thats really fun to sing along to. probably one of my favourite cure songs which is saying a lot given how brilliant literally all cure songs are imo.

lastly i have to mention my favourite song of all time, joy division's love will tear us apart. its perfect. it's been my favourite song for years, and there's one instance i remember specifically where me and my family were driving along a country road and i noticed the stars (i live in the suburbs normally) and there were so many of them bc of the lack of light pollution and it was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen in my life so i stuck my head out of the window and then love will tear us apart came up on my playlist and all i could hear was the wind and the song and it was like a magical experience. so yeah that was cool.

some honorable mentions of songs ive been obsessed w lately: she bangs the drums by the stone roses, into the valley by skids, once in a lifetime by talking heads and moonage daydream by david bowie

thank you so much for this question!! i didn't realise i had so much to say abt this lmao. what would you say are your top 5 songs rn??

#srs22 #IM COMING TO FIND YOU IF IT TAKES ME ALL NIGHT A WITCHHUNT FOR ANOTHER GIRL

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iwadori · 3 years

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Hiiii can i request prompt 53 with tsukki? My annoying cousin u may know @chibiiichan(i cant tag her its a surprise) recommend ur account and well she never been right more than now I LIKE UR ACC TOO URM JUST TAG HER IN THE POST (bcs its actually her birthday next week monday so....the least i could do this bcs she likes tsukki and shes recently talk abt the iwazumi story of yours....lmao shes cringe but in the same time got mad n i was besides her hearing her whining like bruh 'its 1 am'...i know i should buy something for her but she got spoiled enough 💅...that mf-) thank you ✨

‘ALWAYS AND FOREVER’

TSUKISHIMA X READER

2K WORDS

GENRE: ANGST,FLUFF

TW: SLIGHT AMBIGIOUS MENTION OF SUICIDE/ASSISTED DEATH, AND DEATH, CURSING (IN MY A/N)

THIS IS FOR @chibiiichann Happy birthday, I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS (BECAUSE I HATE IT :D ) SOOOOO YEAH I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY.

NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL. EXPECT SLIGHT MISTAKES

You were dying. You knew it. Your husband, Kei, knew it. Even friends you haven’t spoken too since high school knew it.

So why did you all pretend that everything was okay?

5 year old Y/N:

You were running around your neighbourhood park chasing after butterflies, without a care in the world. As you were frollicing in the grass, you manage to trip over a rock tumbling to the ground scraping your knee making it bleed. Looking down at your slightly injured knee, your lip begins to quiver which eventually leads to wails of tears streaming down your face.

“you don’t have to cry you know?” said a slightly quiet voice towering over you. Above you was a boy, quite tall with a fat pair of glasses, golden eyes and a head full of blonde locks.

“Well when I get hurt, I cry” you say matter oh factly (is that the phrase?) rubbing your nose as you sniffle. He held out a hand to you, which you immediately took shooting upwards and brushing yourself off.

The boy, after looking at you wildly, turns around and walks back to the actual park. “Oi wait,” you call at the boy swiftly following him “aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“no.” he says simply, proceeding to walk ahead.

“well my names Y/N L/N pleasure to meet you,” you say jumping in front of him so he doesn’t move, waiting for him to tell you his name...which he doesn’t. “you don’t have to be so rude you know”

“I’m not being rude” he says stiffly “ it’s just my brother says not to speak to strangers” a smirk appears on his face to say ‘you can leave me alone now.’

As if on cue, his brother approaches the both of you given the boy a slap on the back making him cringe “Hey Kei, who’s the friend you’ve made here?”

“My name is Y/N L/N and I'm here to be KEI’s best friend!” you said putting the emphasis on the word Kei after just learning that was the blondes name.

Kei rolled his eyes and sighed saying “nii-chan can we go home now” he folded his arms in annoyance.

“No Kei, you’ve got to get to know your new found friend Y/N-Chan right?” his brother said teasingly, knowing it was the last thing Kei wanted to do.

“Yes ofcourse!” you say with a toothy grin, dragging Kei along with you to his demise.

Until the sun went down, you spent the rest of your time with Kei getting to know eachother (well him getting to know you more, since you did all the speaking.) Regardless of his previous annoyance in getting to know you in the first place, Kei would be lying if he said he didn’t want to know you now.

As the sun was setting, Kei’s older brother (who’s name you learned was Akiteru) called him to tell him he had to go home because dinner was ready. Before he left, you grabbed his hand and wrapped your pinky finger around his saying “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

back to present -

In some odd way, this was Kei’s way of looking out for you. He knew what you had was uncurable and would weaken you even more as the days go by, so pretending like nothing was wrong seemed to be best in his eyes.

Everything you and Kei did was a game or some nostalgic act that you once did when you were children. It was sweet to say the least, seeing Kei all engrossed and determined to make you happy.

Your alarm rings snapping you out of you daydream, ‘it was time for medicine’ you thought with your face scowling at the thought. Immediately on time, as always, Kei comes In the room with all your medicine thats needed.

“Aren’t you my perfect little nurse Kei” you say teasingly giving him a wink, laughing as you see his face turn red.

“Do you have to do this every time y/n?” he asks rolling his eyes at your childish behaviour.

“Oh I'm just showing love to my best and favourite nurse” you continue laughing at your own words

“Im your only ‘nurse’” he deadpans giving you your medicine as you talk.

“Well that is more reason to make you the best nurse.” you say smiling.

Silence falls between you, and you stare down at your arm watching as your husband gives you the medicine making you frown. “Do we have to keep doing this?” you ask which is probably the 1000th time you’ve asked.

“Of course we do Y/N as I’ve said yesterday and the day before that and the day before that it-”

“But do we really?” you interrupt “I can’t keep doing this. You can’t keep doing this.”

“Do you doubt me Y/N, I can do this forever” he says “ I can take care of you forever”

“But I don’t wan-”

“I’m finished, I’m going to start on dinner” he gets up and leaves the room yelling “I’ll call you when it’s done.”

Sometimes you and Kei have these conversations. And all the time it ends the same way. You complain, he ignores and then you go and have dinner.

You can understand why he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Who would want to hear about their partners complaints about practically being alive. Kei was torn, ever since he met you all he wanted to was to keep you happy. But could he compromise his own happiness for it.

15 year old Y/N - flashback

“Kei Kei, aren’t you excited!” you yell smiling widley

“Excited for what?” he asks, amused by your enthusiasm “it’s just highschool.”

“Well it’s a new highschool! Karasuno high school, to be exact.”

“And that is still just a school.” he says

“Not just any! That’s the school nii-chan went too, and even tho he lie-”

“Let’s not talk about it Y/N” he murmurs “we should go now, don’t want to be late on our first date.”

Going to Karasuno was fun, at the start everyone was pleasant and nice. But after a week or two when you and Kei were still stuck to eachother like glue, people weren’t so pleasant. Kei was like a pop idol, being gorgeous and over 6ft at just the age of 15, caused alot of attention, especially when he was always around you.

At the start, the hate you got was bearable, it was the petty bitchy notes in your locker or just people blatanly talking badly about you infront of you. People didn’t do it when you weren’t around Kei, so when he had volleyball practice (which you were so excited that he joined the team) you were a big target for the bullies to come around.

Kei didn’t really know of the bullying that happened towards you, especially since he was mainly in practice or not around when it happened. But one day in practice he heard some of his teammates, kageyama and hinata who seemed to talking about a student in one of their classes that was always getting picked on by the other girls in the year.

“Yeah and I heard that Nana-san was planning on getting her and her friends to attack Y/N-san soon.” said Hinata

“Shrimpy, who are they planning on attacking?” Kei asks to make sure he just heard the ginger correctly.

“Oh this lovely person in our class their name is Y/N-san” he says, looking at Kei’s reaction he also asks “Why? Do you know them?”

Kei doesn’t respond, and immediately leaves the gym, ignoring Hinata’s and the other members of the teams yells of ‘Where are you going tsukishima.’ He didn’t care, he just had to get to you.

He searched all the classes, asking every student if he knew where you were. Someone directs him to the toilets, where he burst through the door to see the other girls in your year surrounding you and beating you up.

“What the fuck are you doing to them?” he yells startling the girls.

“T-T-Tsukishima-san" one girl says “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh fuck off” he says, with them still frozen in shock “I said go!”

“And don’t think I don’t know your names either” he calls after them.

He rushes towards your bruised body on the ground and cradles you gently, confused on what to really do. “Oi Kei,” you say weakly catching his attention “I would’ve won if you didn’t come to stop the fight.” you joke making him scoff.

“Whatever you say Y/N.”

After you heal up, Kei already told on the girls that beat you up getting them suspended, and you explain how they were treating you because of their infatuation of him. And how they only did it when he wasn’t around.

Once he learns this information, he decides to quite the volleyball team, to your surprise. But you demands on making him not quit were ignored, as he excused it by saying “I have to make sure you’re always alright remember, and if that means quitting some volleyball team then so be it.”

That was one out of the many times that Kei put his happiness before yours.

Flashback over.

When you first got diagnosed, Kei was immediately researching on it as it was a very rare condition. But sadly, he only found what the doctor already told you both. It was uncurable and your immune system and your body will weaken as the days go by.

Which it did, you were a shell of your past self. It was always shocking for Kei to see, especially with you only being 25. ‘It wasn’t supposed to be this way,’ but he never let you see his sadness.

Whenever you knew Kei was sad you always reminded him “Kei, I may be dying but please don’t cry over me” every time you said, there was a slight undertone of humour in your voice which always worked in boosting Kei’s spirit.

AN: IVE GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HATE THIS SOOO IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHITTING RUSHED ENDING IM GOING TO PROVIDE FOR YOU LOL.

The days passed and the years went by, and you and Kei were still alive and kicking it. Doing your daily routine of you making some joke, Kei giving you your medicine and then you eating dinner. You eventually stopped complaining, realizing and remembering your promise you gave to Kei at 5 years old in that park. “As long as we shall live, we will always look out for eachother as we are forever bestfriends, agreed?”

Of course you had your rough days, everybody did and it was even harder being sick with a terminal illness. But having Kei to guide you through the storm made It better for you.

However, Kei isnt a miracle worker. He couldn’t save you, noone could. And you both knew that. That didn’t mean it made it any easier when the medicine stopped working and your pain got too hard to bear. Kei couldn’t watch you do this anymore, “the choice is yours” he said with tears in his eyes.

So you knew what you had to do, you got in your bed pulling Kei with you, and letting him envelope you in a big hug as you both cried.

“I love you,” you say “You know that right?”

“Of course I know that, idiot” he replies “And I love you.”

“Always and forever?”

“Always and forever.”

AN: how did I END UP CRYING WHILST WRITING THIS WHEN IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE, I WAS TRYING TO DO THIS COOL NOTEBOOK (I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE NOTEBOOK) ENDING WHERE ITS AMBIGIOUS AND SHIT AND I JUST GIVE UP OKAY? I APOLOGISE LOOOOOOL. I HOPE YOU ENJOY ATLEAST A SENTENCE OF THIS AT LEAST.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu angst #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyu scenarios #haikyu headcanons #haikyu #tsukishima kei #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima angst #tsukishima x reader

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insecxreasalwqys · 2 years

Text

Hate you <3 -Chishiya

Not canon. Btw, in this, borderland never happened.

“Good morning, Chishiya-sama.” One of the other doctors said. “Morning.” Chishiya said, forcing a smile. They were, not friends, but they were usually put together to do stuff, and they were in school together. Chishiya didn’t hate the guy, he just didn’t like him. No hard feelings. He was probably the only person there Shuntaro could tolerate. Dont get him started on this girl who he hated. She was so annoying, how she even got into med school, let alone become a doctor, was beyond his understanding. Later that week, he met with Niragi to have some coffee. “So, hows work?” Chishiya asked. “I mean, its, ok?” Niragi replied. “You?” Niragi asked. “Its been fine, besides this one girl-” Chishiya started. “You talk about her all the time, i get it. Shes useless, dumb, and annoying.” Niragi finished for him. Chishiya just looked at him, impressed, followed by a nod. “Do you, like her, or something?” Niragi asked, raising one eyebrow, or attempting, atleast. “What the heck? No? Ive told you, like 5,965 times already i dont want a relationship, and even if i did, you can bet it wouldnt be her.” Chishiya snapped back, almost offended. Niragi couldnt help but let out a chuckle. Not loud, but audible.

They went to niragis house, since it was late and his house was closer. “Wanna race?” Niragi offered. “Why would i do that.” Chishiya asked, raising his eybrow, but successfully, unlike someone. “Because, you will?” Niragi said, in a tone that said ‘duh’. “Fine, you know what? I will.” Chishiya said, smirking. “Ok, well then,” Niragi said, smiling in victory. “3, 2, 1-” Niragi started, but that little a**hole started without him. Chishiya wasnt very athletic, or wasnt interested in sports, but boy was he fast. “Thats not fair!” Niragi shouted, chasing after him, they were on his front lawn. Niragi ran as fast as he could, and when he got next to Chishiya, pulled him back, it didnt hurt him, no, just to stop him. Well, it kinda backfired on Niragi bc he fell too, but it was 100 percent worth it. Niragi attempted to tickle him, but unluckily for him, chishiya wasnt ticklish. Niragi was disappointed, but he still felt like he won. “Are you serious?!” Chishiya said, annoyed. “Im wearing white.”He added. “Well maybe, Mr. Im better than you should think before he acts-!” Niragi said, laughing at the end. “Well, may-be!” Chishiya pouted, admitting to defeat. “Jerk.” He whispered, jokingly, a smile spreading across his face. “You can sleep on the floor.” Niragi decided. “Oh come on, niragi, that was 4 years ago! Let it go!” Chishiya whined. “No!” Niragi said. Smiling. Chishiya rolled his eyes and said nothing. When niragi woke up, he saw that chishiya wasnt there, he must’ve walked back. Well, i couldve given him a ride back. Niragi thought to himself. In the corner of his eye, he saw a note. It read:

To whom it may concern, i wanted to let you know that you suck, and i hate you. <3.

Your best friend, Shuntaro Chishiya, Mr. Im better than you. P.S, youre late :)

“SERIOUSLY?!” Niragi yelled, now he really hoped chishiya tripped.

#alice in borderland #chishiya Shuntaro #shuntaro Chishiya #suguru Niragi #niragi suguru #not canon #imawa no kuni no alice #imawa no kuni no arisu

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marauder-exe · 4 years

Text

Fake Dating- Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Request: Hi! Can you write a Stark!Reader x Peter Parker (Andrew please) were they’re fake dating because May was starting to catch onto the Spider-Man gig? They end up catching feelings and are scared to admit it? I hope this made sense! Thank you!

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N; id love some feedback on this! and let me know if youd like a part 2

“So, let me get this straight” Peter nodded for you to continue “You want to fake date?” He nodded again. You gave him a questioning look. “Care to explain or no?”.

“Right, right. So, Aunt May is starting to catch on. The other day, I came home all dirty from helping people and she looked at me like I just killed someone. So, you know about the spiderman thing so that's not a problem. And since your my best friend” He gave a sweet smile “i figure, when she finds out we've been ‘dating’ she’ll think thats why Ive been acting strange.” He explained like it made absolute sense. It didn't. You were contemplating throwing him off of the roof you where stood on.

“righttttt...” You looked at him strangely. “How do you know it'll work?” you had a feeling this was gonna go very wrong.

“well, you know- you know, she's aunt May, shell believe it” There was also another problem.

“You know if my dad gets wind of this he will literally kill you right? Like he will 100 percent get all the avengers to murder you, and then he’ll bring you back to life, then re-kill you himself” You stated dramatically. He paled then gave you a look. That look. The look that he had given you for the last 5 years. The ‘im right just trust me on this one’ look. 9 times out of ten he wasn't right. But for the sake of both of you, you hoped this was the one time he was right.

“Fine fine, ill be your fake girlfriend or whatever” You groaned leaning into his shoulder.

“Wow, (Y/N) act more believable” He joked.

“Ah, Peter Parker, of course ill be your fake girlfriend!” You laughed loudly, shoving him.

“Shh, she might hear you!” He joined in, throwing his head back in laughter. After the laughter died down, you lay your head on Peters shoulder. You looked out into the sunset. It made you feel weird. Peter Parker's girlfriend. No. Peter Parker's fake girlfriend.

As the night was getting late, you decided to make your walk home, not before making your ‘relationship’ very clear to Aunt May. She was sat in the living room as Peter walked you to the door. As he opened the door for you, May looked your way, so you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to Peters lips before scurrying out the door. He lifted a finger to his lips and blushed. Obviously Aunt May, who’d known you for 5 years and had never seen you kiss Peter, had some questions.

“Peter? What was that about?” Her question pulled him out of his romantic state. Its just because she's your best friend, He told himself.

“uh-h” He awkwardly laughed. Why was he so hopeless. “She's my girlfriend, now, actually” He mumbled tentatively. Before he knew it, Aunt May had gotten up and swooped him into a hug.

“I always knew you two had something going on!” She cheered. He furrowed his brows but hugged back nonetheless. Why would she think that? He shrugged of the thought and told Aunt May he was going to bed.

“Hey Parker! Hows ‘the plan’ going?” You jogged up to him as he made is way through the school corridors, clutching his camera. “She believe it?”

“y-yeah she did” He noted as you fist pumped the air. He thought you looked amazingly beautiful today. As you two stepped outside, he spotted a cleared bench, he longed to take a photo of you.

“(Y/N)?” He asked getting your attention. “Stand righttttt there” He pointed towards the clear bench as you happily jogged over and stood on it. Peter had always taken photos of you, but today it felt different. For him at least.

“Like this?” You giggled as you struck a pose.

“Yeah yeah, exactly like that” he threw his head back in laughter as he snapped plenty of photos at your ridiculous poses.

“(Y/N)! Parker!” Your photography fun was immediately stopped by the dreaded voice of Flash Thompson, making his way over.

“uh oh” You whispered to Peter as he helped you jump from the bench.

“I hear she's your new girlfriend” Flash nodded towards you, grinning devilishly. You and Peter looked at each other.

“Yeah- Yeah she is” He was trying to be brave. It wasn't working very well.

“Lay off, Flash” You both turned your heads your Gwen Stacey, the girl Peter had been crushing on for a few weeks. Although, he didn't feel like that any more.

“Come on, Gwen. You cant seriously believe this can you. Little Peter Parker dating famous Tony Stark’s beautiful, intelligent daughter?” You felt disgusted at his comment, so did Gwen. “Does Daddy even know? Nah, he couldn't, Parker would be dead by now. Or has Daddy just lost his game? Not as strong as he used to be. You could feel that Peter was about to say something out of anger, so you quickly moved your hand to hold his, even though anger was coursing through your veins

“Listen, Flash Thompson” The group of students surrounding the scene got slowly bigger. “im not dating ‘little Peter Parker’ im dating Peter Parker, a guy who is 10 times more smart and intelligent and handsome as you'll ever be. So why don't you go listen to Mommy’ nodding towards Gwen. “And lay off. Oh wait! You don't have a Mommy” You made a mock sad face then giggled. The entire group was in shock, even Peter. Okay maybe it was a bit uncalled for, but he shouldn't have insulted your dad.

Flashs’ face turned magenta as he balled his fist and tried to throw a punch. You ducked under his fist. Your dad had taught you to fight once you could walk.

“Wow! You just tried to hit a girl” You smiled incredulously, while Flash was still bright red. “Thats fine, im all for feminism, ya know, equal rights equal fights” You said nonchalantly. “You shouldn't have punched Tony Starks daughter though” You added, right as your fist connected with his jaw and our foot connected with his nether regions. You grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back as the ever expanding group cheered. Just as you were about to stand on top him, Peter grabbed you and pulled you away.

“Okay, enough fighting, avengers style” He dragged you inside the hallway.

“He deserved it for what he was saying” You grumbled.

“Im sure he did but-” Peter paused as he saw the principle and two concerned looking teachers, making their way down the hallway. “Rain check?” He whispered.

“Yep!” You whispered back as you jumped onto his back and he sped of, out of the school.

“You have to admit, it was pretty cool” You grinned at Peter as he fixed up the cuts on your knuckles.

“It was cool. You knocked out Flash Thompson. ‘The’ Flash Thompson. But you got yourself hurt in the process” He whined.

“Wow, Mr ‘im-spiderman-and-i-risk-my-life-everyday Is telling me about danger, okay I see how it is” You joked.

“You know what I mean” He grinned. As he finished wrapping your hands, you heard footsteps coming upstairs. “Its Aunt May. What do we do?” Before you could think of anything, you instinctively brought his lips to yours and your hand fell into his hair. He kissed back passionately, like his entire life had been leading up to this moment. It sent a flurry of butterflies into your stomach. He felt the same thing. His lips tingled and his hand lay on your waist. You had officially caught feelings. And so had he. You heard the door open and kept your eyes tightly shut and lips moving.

“You got into a fi-” You furrowed your brows, that didn't sound like Aunt May. You moved away from Peters loving kiss to face the door. The second you saw who it was your face turned bright red, you were done for.

“Dad?!” You shrieked. Peter was drawn from his daze, dreaming of you beautiful lips, by your loud voice.

“Mr. Stark” He almost fell out of his chair at the sight of Tony Stark, Happy and Aunt May, all stood in the door in shock.

“Alright, Spiderling, hands off my daughter” Your dad hurried over and grasped your hand, gently shoving you out the room. Of course Tony Stark knew about him.

“s-see you later, Parker” You muttered. After Tony left, Aunt May shut the door awkwardly, returning to living room. And once, he was left alone with his thoughts. His thoughts about you.

#peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader #mcu fic #mcu #marvel #spiderman x reader #andrew garfield #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield spiderman #peter parker imagine

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herrashmoo · 3 years

Note

secondly, im not a tumblr teen. ive been on this website for god knows how long and ive been well versed in queer history. me calling them a pedophile, after a conversation with them resulted in them refusing to admit sexual imagery is not for children, them calling me a bootlicker and several other names, before getting wildly upset and blocking me, had nothing to do with their sexuality and everything to do with the fact that they couldnt tell me sexual imagery is not a thing for minors to consume period end of story. this is AFTER the fact i had been a bit more educated about pride and had ALREADY agreed where i went wrong. now about the sanitization of pride- thats wrong as well. dont get me wrong. but you cant seriously look me in the face and tell me that sexual imagery is not for minors. like- just that statement alone, right? so how is this such a controversy?

ugh okay I guess I’m gonna write A Thing. I’ll get into a proper response to your final questions but first, let’s do some context work.

first thing to make clear is that I know Jux irl, and I also want to make it pretty clear that they and I have pretty similar opinions here, I’m just slightly more likely to put my anger aside to reply to stuff. Do not get it twisted, rhetoric like the kind you were/are using is like, a big red flag for me, it’s the kind of shit reactionaries have been using for eons and like, were I in a less chill mood, I would’ve also likely written you off as a bootlicker troll. Their response was pretty aggressive but not completely misplaced, so I just want to make it clear that like, as another queer dude who is tired of seeing this shit every fucking May for the better part of a decade, I’m also exhausted and pissed off.

As for my claim of teenagerdom, I apologize if that offended, but you have to understand that, generally speaking, the loudest groups having this conversation on the regular are (1) right-wing reactionaries, TERFs, and their ilk trying to stir shit up (see: Operation Pridefall) and (2) young people who don’t have any context for Pride, often haven’t been, and only really have queer politic and history from tumblr and twitter threads featuring reactionary revisionism from the first group. When I see people engage in this conversation, I generally assume they’re in the latter group, as it helps me try to frame my responses in the best faith I can given how tired I am of this shit.

But that aside, sure. Kink isn’t for children. But provided there’s a parent accompanying this hypothetical child at Pride, their job is to explain and provide context for the things they can, and give a solid “you’ll learn more when you’re older” for the things they can’t. The Village People are all each in different kink gear, and as a kid I was told “they like to dress up, and there’s some costumes specifically for adults,” and I was good. I saw bare titties at festivals, smelled weed at concerts, saw bulge at the beach — these are normal human things that happen in the world, and having a responsible adult nearby to explain or provide context for them made them non-issues for me. I don’t think a kid seeing a pup hood is thinking anything more than “oh cool, that dude is dressed up as a dog.” Kids understand fantasy and make-believe. And especially as they age into their teenage years, withholding or sheltering them from knowledge about sex and sexuality can do real damage — hell, we’ve been having that conversation for over a century at least.

(Spring’s Awakening was first published in 1891 and was deeply censored in productions for the better part of a century, due to the content of the work, which is about how sheltering young teens (both straight and queer) from sexual content (and also mental health resources) leads them to try to figure shit out on their own and make catastrophic decisions that they don’t understand the consequences of until it’s too late. Great play, pretty great musical adaptation, wild that we keep rehashing its points like clockwork over a century after publication.)

But I am also of the opinion that Pride isn’t for children, as, while two decades of assimilationist politic would desperately try to argue otherwise, I am queer because I am sexually attracted to, and have sex with, other men. Pride is a response to the criminalization of queer sex acts, and so it is, in turn, a celebration of queer sex acts. So if someone wants to walk around in chaps and a jock, great! If someone wants to wear their pup gear or a harness or a rope tie or a vest, fuck yeah! It’s a space specially carved out for celebrating the queer experience — the original Pride flag (before it was simplified to make it easier to mass produce for profit, which, again, love seeing our culture made into product) had a pink stripe at the very top, specifically representing sexuality. It is, ostensibly, the thing that defines our community (at least the L G and B parts of it) as an outgroup against the mainstream society.

I think that, if you are uncomfortable with kink displays, or you’re uncomfortable with children seeing kink displays, then Pride is not for you or your children! Don’t go! There’s kid-friendly and sanitized versions of Pride in most major cities, do some research into your local/state Stonewall organizations and you can find more about them. But I’m already sick of having actual cops at Pride, I don’t need people who are uncomfortable with displays of sexuality also policing myself or any other queer person in a space they have spent decades carving out for themselves.

A final note — if you don’t understand why a queer person would blow up and completely write off your bullshit after calling them a pedophile, I urge you to do more reading, more listening. I know that in this brave new world of same-sex marriage equality and PrEP access that it’s hard to remember the collective trauma that the community has experienced, but this shit is inflammatory, you’re straight up spewing fightin’ words. The dude wearing a leather harness at Pride isn’t trying to corrupt any youth or fuck any kids, they’re just trying to live their shit, and I’m sorry that you and so many others have somehow decided that that’s an attack on a demographic of people who aren’t the audience for a celebration of sexuality. We’re not fucking pedophiles, and this “think about the kids” nonsense is some Reagan-era bullshit.

#the discourse

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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noctomania · 3 years

Text

Im just full of oh golly gee damn as a whole enough mood lately.

ive been up and down some lately and i kinda know why but also not entirely and thats why i am not seekin help bc i know its not like as dire as my brain wants me to think it is. Well my heart moreso. my brain is the one thats like we're gonna be fine in like a month calm down. it's more the "how" than the "why" of the matter, which matters when it comes to my mind. If it's a problem of why that is when i go off the deep end more. but how feels more like mysterious and while it too can be frustrating, so long as i understand the why it doesn't feel as bad.

it feels more contained more controlled and idk maybe its the subject matter too that its really typical shit most people go through. i guess what is throwing me about the how is it's making me feel a way that i havent in a very very very very very long time and BESIDES that i think it may be the first time i sincerely genuinely stumbled upon it.

I'll be honest i have faked shit in my life. faked emotions that is. or overdramatized bc i thought it mattered more than it did. but this shit snuck up on me. and it's not good or bad, it's just i feel a way and i think i know why and idk how this happened. While it is frustrating some ways i don't entirely mind it because it has given me some sense of purpose. i do worry it may not be the healthiest because it goes against some of my own ...whatever ideas or standards idk what it is. Maybe it's just something i as an individual needed.

yes i am being vague on purpose. bc i am also kind of superstitious and i worry that if i say it clear and the universe hears me it will screw something up. because even if it just stays as it is - slightly frustrating but ultimately "good" - i think it is pushing me towards motivation i have been lacking. like i dont think im prepared for anything in life in general but if i keep feeling this way if i enduring the frustration i make manage to accomplish something. hell it got me workin out. my abs hurt. my ABS. i wasnt sure i still had anything under there until it started to hurt. kinda similar to this feelin i guess. it can hurt but ultimately its good.

i also recently tried to go against the feeling. it...did not work out well. i down spiraled pretty hard and wound up in deep a headspace i hadnt been to in a while. i was giving up but when i started to accept how i felt again, as frustrating as it may be, i started back into trying to take better care of myself. i guess i had to test the grass on either side of the fence to determine which one had nasty pesticides.

anyway i just dumpin some brain poop here. enjoy the vague generalities that probably werent even that vague. but ah-hah i will trick the universe by queueing this. youll never know when this was written! MUWHAHAHHA

#queued

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cosmicbash · 4 years

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Hey, So I'm having a bad week and would really like an outed Kells and Em fic, it could be as angsty or fluffy as you want, I just need a happy ending. A little joy from a situation like that would be really nice right now, Thanks P.S. I've been reading your writing for a while and I think they're really great!! I hope you keep having Inspiration to do so!!!

Sorry I'm so late replying to this!! Ive had a shitty busy week myself and i feel horrible its taken me so long!!

I feel like instagram would be Em and Kelly's downfall. Just because the younger rapper is constantly on it, posting little snippets to interact with his fans, going Live, and of course posting pictures.

Slip ups are inevitable once he and Marshall start spending more and more time together.

Because Colson can't just cut back, when he does that fans start speculating. Questioning why exactly he's suddenly getting more secretive or searching through what he does share with a fine tooth comb to spot a new mystery girlfriend.

So Colson continues posting away on instagram and filming his lives, even when he and Marshall are together. Ignoring the headshakes and looks the older rapper shoots his way everytime he's on live laughing it up.

At first it's awkward, Marshall and him keep alternating who's going to duck into the bathroom or step out for coffee. But eventually they get used to it and comfortable enough that Colson can walk around their hotel room filming while Marshall naps on the couch.

The blonde even gets cheeky enough to start teasing his partner, like snapping photos of their shared brunches, or taking after sex selfies that always get Marshall hiding under the blankets or kicking him.

Really Colson should have seen it coming. You can only fly so close to the sun before you get burned afterall.

The mistakes start piling up soon enough.

Marshall accidentally yelling to ask him something when he's recording a live, Colson walking a bit too close to the couch and flashing the hoodie clad rappers back, the bottom of Marshall's AA necklace in the back of a breakfast shot, and more minor incidents that branch out from there.

At first Colson can just brush the unfamilar voice and thankfully covered up body as one of his assitants or friends. But as soon as that necklace peek gets out the internet does its thing and speculation over a possible collab strikes up.

The assumption being he gave everyone the glimpse on purpose.

Of course he's relieved the public isn't immediately jumping to the crazy possibility of them banging. Even though thats exactly what theyre doing. But him and Marshall AREN'T actually making any music together, and neither of them has publicly squashed their beef. Afterall, what better cover than pretending to still hate eachother?

But now that's all out the window. Colson's lack of an immediate excuse and rapid deletion of the photo just convincing the media their theories are correct.

Paul is of course furious, reaming both of them out over the phone about how they better get on a track together or figure out some new cover. And Diddy, well Diddy rarely comes off his self made throne to speak to Colson, let alone acknowledge most of his success, but the rapper actually does inquire to him about the whole spectacle. And Colson can't help but find himself wishing he had a guy like Paul who knew about them and could just simply yell at him because he still has no idea what to even say.

They settle on quiet ambiguous statements from their labels about how the two of them are working towards mending their beef and that a collaboration isn't exactly out of the question at this moment.

It works. For about a month or two, mostly due to them being apart yet again. The major hype dies down and Colson avoids any and all questions relating to Marshall in his lives and on twitter. The two of them are able to breathe a sigh of relief as temporary as it may be.

Until the next time they make time to see eachother. Colson's got a small charity event in Detroit that he plans on using as an excuse to linger around the city and steal some much needed time with his secret boyfriend.

Of course all eyes are on them yet again, questioning whether the young rapper might also be stopping in to work in some music with his rival.

With paparazzi tailing him more than ever it's impossible for him to just go to Marshall's place like he'd planned. Instead forcing him into renting a suite and wasting most of the day stressing over just how the hell he's supposed to sneak Marshall in with the bastards sitting outside the building like hawks. The other rapper isn't exactly helping either, just sending his usual cryptic texts telling Colson not worry about it but never expanding on what his plan is either.

By the time the blonde finally finishes his busy day and drags himself back to the room he has fully accepted that their rendezvous is not going to happen. Marshall had stopped texting him more than two hours ago and he wasn't about to act even more like a spoiled child by blowing the man's phone up. Colson's just given up. He can't even muster the energy to give the paparazzi outside his hotel more then an annoyed comment about how his life doesn't revolve around collaborations and the finger before slipping inside.

Marshall's presence in his hotel room, already stripped down to his night tee and briefs almost looks like a mirage. But when he shuts the door and crosses the room to bury his face in the other man's neck he smells like ivory soap and that woodsy beard oil the blonde bought him and Colson can't help but hug him closer.

He's so relieved to see him he doesn't even snark back at Marshall's muffled comment that he looks like shit.

The moment is sweet and Colson honestly should have realized it was just the calm before the storm but he's too caught up in complaining about the media and basking in his partner's soft agreements to care.

Before taking off to take his shower he hands Marshall over his phone, suggesting the brunette look through the mess his instragram comment section has become, all the questions and posts he's been tagged in over that little picture and their statements. Because why not? They would inevitably end up laying against eachother in bed scrolling through them all together anyway, at least this way Marshall can get a headstart.

And Marshall does actually swipe through them for a bit, spending more time admiring some of his partners pretty posts than he does reading the never ending stream of comments. The rapper rarely gets on the app himself except to post the occasional merch drop and promo. Social media isn't his forte, and it's not like he could follow Colson's account anyway. Navigating the app and searching for his boyfriends account was too much work when he could just asks for selfies over text.

Thats why when Marshall finishes his browsing and begins backing out of a post back to Colson's homepage he doesn't even care to pay much attention to what he's tapping. The flash of black and loading wheel that lights up the screen completely missed when he tosses it across the bed in lieu of playing around on his own phone.

The livestream he accidentally starts mainly films a blank ceiling through the rest of Colson's shower. The occasional creak and shift on the bed from Marshall's weight and blare of music from his own phones speakers all anyone tuning in can hear.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon for fans to realize the Live has been started unknowingly, but thats not going to stop any of them from filing in.

Maybe if Colson hadn't set his phone to silent the string of text messages might have alerted Marshall to his mistake. But the older rapper relaxes back on the bed less than a foot away blissfully unaware until Colson finally exits the bathroom.

Neither of them notice the phone when Marshall sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed, his body briefly flickering past the frame. They don't see the explosion of comments flying past the screen while they talk and Colson shoves the other man back onto the bed again. Bouncing the phone high enough to almost flip it if fate didn't decide to just scoot it closer to their tangling bodies.

Colson's whole upper body and face is in frame from then on. His cheeks flushed and smile cocky while he straddles his unseen partner. Marshall's fingertips peeking onto the screen where they're tickling the skin covering his ribs.

Its not until after Marshall's sat back up and begun peppering kisses down the front of his throat that he finally catches sight of his half blanket covered phone. An amused accusation about the other rapper trying to sneakily film them prompting Marshall to scoff and reach out for it.

"Probably just the app, shits always opening up to the camera on my phone-"

The rush of comments speeding past the screen and the unmistakeable red dot next to LIVE has Marshall freezing. His wide eyed face fully on screen for 10 seconds before Colson finally pries the phone from his hands to see whats got him so spooked.

Instead of panic, anger is what rushes through Colson's veins. A slew of curses leaving his mouth, before he finally manages to end the live. Phone promptly flying out of his hand against the wall afterwards.

The blonde wants to scream and thrash around. And thats what he does, fingers tearimg at his hair in frustration.

It takes Marshall's fingers softly prying them down for Colson to finally open his eyes again. The utterly terrified look on his partner's face chasing away his residual rage. "Fuck Colson I'm sorry-" its not the first time he's heard Marshall apologize, but it is the first time the man has ever done it while looking so scared of his response.

All the months he'd spent dreaming about his rival making such an expression have nothing on the real thing. And that smug powerful feeling he'd imagined was completely absent now. Just an uncomfortable knot seizing up his chest in it's place.

"I'm not--" his own voice feels tight. Tears threatening to bubble up in his eyes while the reality of the whole situation continues to wash over him. "I'm not mad at you, alright?"

He's mad at the media, at his fans, the rap industry, everything that makes him feel like this little slip up and intimate moment of theirs going viral will ruin their lives.

Colson's sick of hiding who he is and who he's with. Its utter bullshit. Its 2019 for chrissakes, who gives a shit who's banging who? They both make bad ass music either way and liking dick shouldn't change that.

Pushing up off of Marshall, Colson moves to climb off the bed. His hopefully not smashed phone across the room his current focus. But the older rapper snags his wrist and wont let him take more than one step.

And thats when Colson realizes just why Marshall looks so terrified. The man's worried that this is it, that he's going to just leave.

Run away from their problems and abandon the relationship they've been cultivating. Just go full scorched earth.

And that hurts.

So instead the blonde softens his expression and climbs back into bed, onto the other man's lap to hug him tightly. "Fuck Marsh--" He's not about to let the media ruin another relationship. "I love you."

The responding hug is so tight it hurts but Colson doesn't stop. "I fucking love you."

They're falling back onto the bed, legs tangling and Colson's teeth grinding while he rubs his face along the older rapper's shoulder. "I love you"

He doesn't even know what else to say. Now that the words are out it's all his tongue can shape.

"Colson-" Marshall's warm palms are cupping his face, pulling him back so they can stare at eachother

"I love you-" that one hurts the most, maybe because they're eye to eye and just looking at Marshall's soft expression and the possibility of losing it makes him want to crumble. "Please-"

He chokes back a wet sound in the back of his throat before they kiss. Pressing as close as he can, practically trying to glue their mouths together permanently.

Marshall's afraid to lose him just as much. They're idiots for ever thinking it might be a possibilility.

The media can get blown, and so can the industry and their so called fans. The cats out of the bag now and theirs no turning back. If they don't like them together than tough shit. They've both dragged themselves up out of the pits before, this will be no different.

Except, this time they have eachother to lean on.

"I love you to you cornball."

(((Ffffff this sat in my drafts cuz I got distracted by work and life. Im so fucking sorry anon!!!)))

((Also! Thank you anon! For the compliments! Im glad you enjoy my works!))

#emgk #ehhh i dunno where this went #sorry if its not great #been real distracted and busy with work lately #but i hope you can still enjoy it #prompts #asks #i love asks

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oh-theatre · 4 years

Text

Objection!: Chapter 28

Chapter title: Two Unlikely Loves

A/n: Im sorry chapters have been shorter and they've been so bad im so so sorry im trying and im messing up and im just trying and im sorry for the awfulness that is this chapter. anyway here you go

First | Previous | Next

words: 2031

summary: Tensions run high as the courthouse is under siege

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link

They all rushed in, practically tripping over one another.

“Patton!” They cry, all in different tones of utter concern. Not Logan however, he bides his time, avoiding eye contact as everyone gives their hearty hellos and tearful reliefs. “Why don't we give them some time?” He hears Barbara whisper, the group nods and somehow he's left alone in the awkward silence of an unusually quiet Patton. Realizing he hadn't said a word to anyone who had come in.

“Lo” he begins, Logan hears his voice finally and he understands what he feels. Anger, he wishes not to speak to Patton. Not now, not ever. “Logan” Patton tries again, the man can hear the softest break in his sweet tone. What was he thinking? How dare he ignore Patton.

He coughs, breaking his own silence but that's it. He will not make the first move, he should have been trusted. Why didn't he..”trust me?” He hadnt meant to let the words fall, he hadn't given them such permission.

“Oh starlight”

Damn Patton was good, he almost took to look at him. He continues to stare around the room, it felt bland, unlike his gorgeous eyes who he could find himself lost in. He listens, the shifting and sudden grunts of struggle catches him off guard. He turns, finding Patton's feet trembling as he clutches desperately to his IV line as he barely steps forward. Logan can see the pain and he finds himself completely in motion.

“Patton” He chides, rushing over he takes the shaking arms, situating the stubborn lawyer back on the edge of the bed. Kneeling in front of him with a deep breath of relief. “Do you enjoy bringing pain” Logan jokes, but finds no ease in Patton's face. The tears swell and he shakes his sorry head. “Oh sunshine” He sighs

“I'm so sorry” Patton laments, Logan, though slight, shakes his apology away. He leans up, taking the man's cheek, kissing him softly as they melt into one. God how he missed him. Patton deepend said kiss, not that either mind one bit.

“If you ever..” Logan begins, gasping for short breaths, his blush quite noticeable “Do that again..” Patton nods, understanding instantly.

“Not planning too...at least not this year” He shrugs, Logan nudges him, squeezing his leg sweetly. “C’mere” He gestures, they connect once more, it's soft and feels light in this heavy world. Once away, they allow their fingers to fiddle together, the puzzle just fits. It was their puzzle, years to find all the corner pieces but now it was their turn to fill in the middle. A quick gasp escapes Patton, he pushes gently on Logan. “The twins!” He exclaims, was it some kind of sense?

“Papa!” They cry in unison, rushing into the room barreling through Logan. Both decide to speak the fastest they can muster, speeding through their weeks and adventures. Patton listens intently, his eyes hazing to a prideful Logan. He wasn't sure what came over him but the overwhelming feeling of simply breaking down was noticeable. Not to the twins, nor Emile….but Logan saw it instantly.

“Hey, why don't you both venture to the shops with Emile and pick out a nice gift for your father” Logan suggests, Patton trembles as he waves them a careful goodbye not sure how much longer he can hold up. Once the door shuts Logan works quick as Patton shatters. Seeing the twins was the breaking point, his head pounds. Logan helps the quiet man and his tears back into bed, once settled he cuddles Patton, a comforting rub to his harms and Patton clutches hard. Logan can feel the wet soak him but he doesn't care, nothing but Patton concerns him.

“I'm so sorry” He sniffles, barely audible through his almost fearful sobs. As if any louder and he could get in serious trouble...Logan's heart sunk. He pushes the image of Liam out of his mind kissing Patton's forehead. This was their room, area and moment. Nobody dare touch the ever fragile bubble. Ready to collapse, become delicate glass to fall. It takes awhile but the exhaustion sets in and Patton falls into it, releasing Logan before he does, giving him the freedom not to bear him down. Logan sighs sitting up, he checks the clock realizing he himself may have dozed off as well. The best sleep he had gotten in a month, though guilty he was so thankful for Patton being here, awake.

“Mm” He rubs his eyes, the bags becoming prominent under them. He doesn't flinch feeling Patton wrap his arms around Logan, laying his head on the lawyer's shoulder. A sweet kiss to his neck, a tingle he had missed sent down his back.

“You're exhausted” Patton identifies, connecting their hands. Logan scoffs, a smile with a tinge of truth however. “I'm here, you can rest Lo” Patton promises, soothing comfort down Logan's arm and cheek. Logan bites down, clenching his jaw so tight it begins to pulse. He avoids anything that will reflect his delicate state. Logan takes Patton's hand, kissing it but he isn't there. His mind floods with schedules and routines, meals and things he must do, children cries and joy.

And he loves it.

Yes he's drained, but all he can think of is the conversation he had with Patton eons ago. Thats how he felt, these children could take everything from him. Sleep, food, anything and hed smile with delight.

“I'd like to move in” Logan proposes, Patton chuckles into his shoulder. A tired smile accompanied with a nod. Logan takes this as his moment to convince, quickly preparing an argument but Patton has his own idea.

“And here I thought you already had” Patton laments, Logan yawns but hes amused. Something about the way he felt with Patton allowed him to enjoy it. Allowed him to just relax, always helps that Patton had taken to massaging Logan without a prompt. But out the window there he was, he knew Patton felt it, his shoulders tightened. “Dearest?” Patton hums, kissing him gently.

“We need to talk about Virgil”

~~~

“I want to see my little boy” Patton sings, Remy chuckles as Emile brings Thomas forth. Cradling the baby in Patton's arms.

“Here he comes” Emile teases, Patton giggles, joined by the baby soon enough.

“Oh my here he does, look at this angel” Patton coos, tickling ever so carefully his stomach, the both allowing themselves a moment with each other. The sweetness the child radiates is almost too much for Patton's weak heart. Soon enough everyone cycled in for their reunion. Logan stood protective by Patton the entire time, a hand on his shoulder and love infecting him. Patton was grateful.

The twins were impatient and they had every right to be, spending almost three hours with their father and Logan simply chatting away. Patton loved it,he loved cuddling Valerie while Remus explained his journeys, he loved Remus fiddling with his hair as Valerie recounted their days with Logan. And most of all he loved Logan. He loved that he got to share this with someone, someone who cared someone who he loved and who loved him back.

Soon enough the room darkened and Roman, after a copious check up and a thorough conversation volunteered to take them home for some rest.

“You are truly my hero” Patton teases, knowing that title was held by only one person. One person who was currently making sure the children were bundled up before they said their goodbyes. Roman gave him one last squeeze before leading them out followed by James who waves the door closed.

“You look exhausted” Logan notices, fluffing up Patton's pillow, making sure the lawyer remains cozy and comfortable. Patton takes his cheeks as he leans in and plants a quick kiss on him. He pulls away, getting prepared to take his sleep, Logan smiles timidly planting a kiss on his head before finally releasing his overbearing care. Not that Patton minds. Logan sets up in the chair next to him, turning the night light on and flipping quietly through a book.

It remains peaceful and still for awhile, Logan almost dozes off with his blanket sprawled around him. But as the clock strikes eleven thirty, the door slides open. And of course panic sets in, why were the doctors here and so late at night? But when the gruff boots and purple jacket reflected on the light, Logans panic set in even more.

“Virgil” Logan identifies in a whisper, the detective meets his eyes. The bags are prominent. But his boiling hatred was fiery. “He's sleeping” Logan scolds, folding up his blanket and putting the book on the shelf. “Where were you all day?” Logan goes, quickly back tracking. “Actually no, I don't care”

“Lo be nice” Patton mumbles through his pillow, the pair jump and Logan joins his side quickly. He wipes his eyes sitting up, allowing Logan to serve him water, taking it gratefully. Virgil wants to come forward, his head pulsed as his eyes laid on Patton. He missed him so much, but Logans glare stopped him. “Thank you starlight” Patton put his glass back, and Virgil adored the casualness of their physical connection, the nicknames and the fact that Logans and Pattons hands were connected. But he hated that he couldn't enjoy this right now. “Heya Virge” Patton swallows, something forced down.

“Pat..” Virgil breathes, he wants to gush but something holds him back. Patton bit his lower lip, he extended his arms, motioning for Virgil to come forth. The breath that escaped Virgil lifted the pressure from his chest.

“Patton no” Logan reminds, he doesn't mean to be controlling but he cares for Patton more than he can describe.

“Logan come on” Virgil sighs. Patton clutches his blankets knowing hes only doing this out of confrontation and his fear of such. But with what Logan told him...shouldn't he be mad?

He was

He was painfully hurt

“What did you tell him?” Virgil points as Patton refocuses.

“The honest truth and what I found Patton should know” Logan explains. Patton takes his hand, feeling the sweat build. Logan takes the signal and finds himself breathing with relaxation. “You took the money, you and Remy took the money” He lays out flat. “When Patton came to you about Liam you should have done something” Logan spits “Instead, like everyone else in that goddamn precinct you took Liams vile money and kept your mouth shut” Logan reveals, Virgil averts his guilty eyes. Patton twinges, clasping tighter to Logan.

“Patton let me just..I…” Virgil feels something clamp tight in his throat. He has an explanation but nothing worth Patton's forgiveness. “You said you h-had a plan and you were gonna leave i thought, its just a little longer and Damian and I-”

“Virgil are you fucking kidding?” Logans voice remains quiet but it seethes, Patton struggles but sits up pulling Logan closer to him.

“Dearest, language” He whispers sweetly, wiping the sweat away from Logans hot head. “Its ok, I'm okay and you're okay and the twins and Damian and virge...everyones ok” Patton rambles, Logan softens at the soft breaths he takes. Idiot, he punishes. Patton was tired, he was shaking ever so slightly.

“Im so sorry Pat, I should go” And he does, Virgil gives him one more apologetic look before slamming the door away. Patton releases an exasperated breath before falling back into his pillow. How many times was he going to cry today?

“Love?” Logan sits with him, Patton cant conjure up words he simply shakes his head, the tears flow. Logan adjusts so he cradles Patton, a gentle lullaby his hummed to him as he remembers every time a touch had never felt so loving, and filled with pain instead. “I love you so very much” He promises, he was so glad Patton took that from him.

I dont think Id want to give that to anyone else

Soon enough, the pair was comfortably asleep, both with dreams...or nightmares of their own. But together, and surely they wouldn't let the other be hurt, not again, not ever again.

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hawtdawgblog · 3 years

Text

well shit

i guess its true what they say, life aint sunshine and rainbows all of the time

i thought this year would be more different, maybe even better than 2020. instead, its more or less the same, possibly worse

its almost the end of the school year, and it also means its the end of high school for me (im a senior), if thats even the case. i have absolutely no idea what to do after high school, should i go to college or university? maybe move to a different city? maybe learn how to drive a car and maybe get a job? all of those things have been plaguing my mind lately, and me turning 18 this january didnt help AT ALL.

i havent been to good at school because im not used to virtual learning, i used to be so good at school because it was in person, my grades were actually decent, but now, it seems that i have given up...im not even sure if im able to graduate this year because of my abysmal marks...im isappointing my parents...they are going to realize they have just raised a high school dropout...

another thing thats been bothering me is that i have just realized i may have wasted some of the best years of my life in my (high) school years. i never really went to dances, proms, or any school events because i thought they were a waste of time. looking back at it now, ive now regretted my decisions and i want to turn back time...

on a related note, now that im now an adult legally, past memories and episodes of nostalgia have been affecting me for some time now. this is not new to me, its just been more intensified than ever. and that is one of the few reasons why i havent been myself mentally and emotionally. i just wanna go back to the late 2010s, i know there have been a few bad memories here and there, like the times where i got teased back in my freshman years. but those things are no match for the positive memories i had back then. like watching animation memes on a hot summers day at a friends house in 2018, or watching eitherdane powrozniks starters series or nemaos HTF: Still Alive vids on youtube in 2016-7. even old memes like "This is mine" or "get out of my car" and others bring me sadness and nostalgia.

even further back, sometimes i wish i were a teen in the late 2000s. life was so simple back then, everyone looked like they had a good time, sure maybe some of the technology is limited, and i might type this on a chunky laptop or macbook if i were a teen back then, but that being said, i kinda envy those that lived their teen years in that era. yeah i was alive then, but i was a small child :P i barely remember anything back then lmao.

still, i remember somethings in the early 2010s, like watching AO and YTPs or listening to pokemon ost. i would either go to OneMoreLevel to play flash games, or go to DragoArt to learn how to draw.

all of this makes me sad and even cry a little. i was so happy and carefree, i didnt care what others think, i was having the time of the life, i wish i could do that as of now...

its now 2021, and i just want to cry in my sleep, i wanna get of this conservative hell hole town, but i dont have any money, i low key want to go to a higher education, but i dont know what school to go to. should i get a full time job, or do art as a living? THE POSSIBLITIES ARE OCCUPYING MY MIND AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO.

im so exhausted, but i need to get this thing off of my chest. adulthood is crazy and i absolutly have no clue what to do. and these feelings i have are not helping...

#vent blog #vent #tw vent #ventish #vent tag #vent post #tfw when you realized the best years of your life have been wasted

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