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animeomegas · 10 months

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Headcanons for Dabi and Todoroki (separate) with a super loving and sappy Alpha? Snuggling him whenever they can, making him breakfast in bed, absolutely disgustingly cute compliments, getting him a gift or at least some candy once week. Just a total simp.

Aww, this ask is just too cute!! <33 I live for alpha being a complete simp for their omega. Enjoy~

WHEN THEIR ALPHA IS A COMPLETE SIMP

Dabi has a lot of conflicting emotions about an alpha like this, and it's definitely a journey for him.

At first he thinks you're making fun of him.

Then he thinks that you're a bit pathetic tbh.

And finally, when you refuse to give up, he decides you're totally insane to be so smitten with him. He really has no idea how or why.

Eventually he just accepts that you're weird and lets you get on with it.

Of course, he finds himself slipping into loving the constant positivity and adoration, slowly but surely.

He comes back from a running some villainous errands one day, and he's aching and sore and his mind starts wandering, wondering what you're going to have set up for him.

A hot bath? A lovely homecooked meal? Pizza and a film?

He starts trying to guess, until it suddenly hits him.

Oh.

He's being spoiled by an alpha who has made their desire to mate with him very, very clear, and...

He likes it. He's used to it. He doesn't want it to end.

Oh no.

He almost turns around a books it, but then he thinks about how sad and worried you'd be if he didn't go home, and shit, he's got it bad.

He opens the door slowly. He doesn't know why he can fight heroes, steal from banks and literally murder people just fine, but suddenly opening this door has his heart beating out of his chest. What's wrong with him?

He's greeted immediately with the sight of you cuddled up on the sofa with a pile of blankets and a bowl of fresh popcorn. Popcorn and a film, that's what you had planned. He was close.

Your face lit up as he came in, your beautiful smile directed to him and only him. He felt the urge to crawl into the blankets with you, and he definitely needed to get a grip on that. He'd never felt safe enough to nest before, but you were ruining everything.

"Dabi! Welcome home! I missed you so much," you said. How disgustingly domestic.

"Yeah, I'm back," he said lamely.

"I can see that. Here" -you pat the space on the sofa next to you- "I've picked out that new comedy you wanted to see. Come watch it, unless you need to shower or change first?"

Dabi shook his head, mouth dry, "No, I'm good."

"Great! Come on then!"

He blindly obeyed. This was not part of his plan, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't feel angry about it.

At first, Todoroki is so confused. And a little embarrassed.

Why are you doing so much for him?

He knows you're in a relationship and that people do things like that sometimes, but you just seems so happy when you're doing things for him?

Is he doing enough for you? He doesn't know.

But this only lasts for a few weeks, or as long as it takes for you or Midoriya to encourage him to embrace being in a healthy, loving relationship, and then he embraces it whole-heartedly!

And it unlocks a (cute) monster.

Todoroki lives to be pampered.

You could definitely use 'my prince' as a pet name, because it absolutely fits him.

He basks in the genuine and constant affection. It makes him feel fuzzy and warm, and he's always reaching out for you.

He quickly turns from the kind of omega who only holds hands in private, to the kind that always wants to sit on your lap and fall asleep on your shoulder, no matter where he is or who is watching.

If you bring him breakfast in bed, or stroke his hair, or bring him gifts for no reason, you get that beautiful little smile from him every time.

He engages spoilt cat mode very quickly.

Todoroki is cuddly, you just have to introduce him to it and then he never gets enough.

Please cuddle him, stroke his hair, buy him soft clothes, cook him dinner, it makes him so content and happy.

At first, Todoroki is so confused. And a little embarrassed.

Why are you doing so much for him?

He knows you're in a relationship and that people do things like that sometimes, but you just seems so happy when you're doing things for him?

Is he doing enough for you? He doesn't know.

But this only lasts for a few weeks, or as long as it takes for you or Midoriya to encourage him to embrace being in a healthy, loving relationship, and then he embraces it whole-heartedly!

And it unlocks a (cute) monster.

Todoroki lives to be pampered.

You could definitely use 'my prince' as a pet name, because it absolutely fits him.

He basks in the genuine and constant affection. It makes him feel fuzzy and warm, and he's always reaching out for you.

He quickly turns from the kind of omega who only holds hands in private, to the kind that always wants to sit on your lap and fall asleep on your shoulder, no matter where he is or who is watching.

If you bring him breakfast in bed, or stroke his hair, or bring him gifts for no reason, you get that beautiful little smile from him every time.

He engages spoilt cat mode very quickly.

Todoroki is very cuddly, you just have to introduce him to it and then he never gets enough.

Please cuddle him, stroke his hair, buy him soft clothes, cook him dinner, it makes him so content and happy.

"I'm home!" you called out as you pushed open the door, carefully manoeuvring the little shopping bag you had clutched in your hand. A smile automatically bloomed on your face as you heard the tell tale sign of Shouto coming to greet you. The sound of his socked feet padding along the floor was just too cute.

"Alpha!"

"My darling boy," you cooed as Todoroki's smiling face came around the corner to greet you. You opened up your arms and he ran into them, squeezing you tightly and nuzzling his face into your shoulder. "How was your day? You must have got back from patrol about an hour ago, right?"

Shouto pulled away and pouted, "You weren't here when I got back."

"I'm sorry," you said, pressing a kiss to his nose and watching as his pout melted away. "I went past that new bakery and I couldn't resist getting you a little something."

Shouto's eyes focused on the little bag in your hand for a moment before taking your hand and bringing you through to the kitchen. You placed the bag on the counter and gently pulled out the box of macarons. The box was half red (strawberry, red velvet, and cherry) and half white (coconut, white chocolate, and cookies and cream). He opened the box slowly, eyes wide.

"They look amazing," he said breathlessly. "Half red and half white?"

"There's nothing as pretty in my opinion," you cooed, ruffling his hair. His little smile lit up the room.

Shouto picked up one of the cherry ones and fiddled around with it for a moment. Taking the hint, you took the macaron from him and held it up to his mouth.

"Open wide, darling."

#todoroki #dabi #bnha #mha #a/b/o #omegaverse #hcs #headcanons #alpha!reader #alpha reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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dotster001 · 3 months

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Q.P.R. Headcanons; First years

I never knew that I needed aro head cannons in my life but now I need like 42 more so I DEMAND *asking nicely* for more please - @bakdbfi

Summary: aro-ace first years x aro-ace gn! Reader. Things you guys get up to in a queerplatonic relationship.

A/N: hee hee I am once again on time for aro awareness week 😁

Dorm Leaders

Tbh, I've always wanted to go up to him and say, “Hey Ace, I'm ace!” But if you did this while you're in a QPR, he'd always come up with a snarky comment. Maybe say something like, "Nah, I'm Ace. Fuck off." Smh. He's so silly. I wanna throw rocks at him

He's the aro-ace that always forgets he's aro-ace. He'll come up to you like, “Guess who has a date!” Then he'll come see you afterwards, his eyes dead, and he'll be like, “So, I got distracted by how pretty they are. Oops.” He sees people as attractive, but when he tries to bridge the gap, he's always like, oh, yeah, nevermind. And then he complains to you about it, as though you were the one to set up the date!

He's always in your space. Being in a QPR with him is like gaining an extra cat. He's so affectionate, as long as you don't say anything. He'll scoot his chair so close to yours that your legs touch. If you're laying on the couch, he will climb over you and shove himself into your arms, in the most awkward, clumsy way possible. BUT IF YOU SAY ANYTHING…. he's gonna gaslight the hell out of you. He didn't want to touch you, get out of his space. Or, pay him if you wanna be in his space so badly.

Not only is he in your space, but he's stealing your food. What's yours is his, and what's his is his. He'll reach his fork over to your plate, and pick up your food. You'll wake up to a noise at three in the morning, and you'll see him raiding your fridge. If you ever become roommates, you'll catch him eating your labeled leftovers, zero shame on his face. What? True love is sharing food with your bestie!

Calls you his wife/husband/spouse when he introduces you. Then he can't fight off the shit eating grin on his face.

You know…honestly… if your mc isn't romantic with Ace, I'd say that in game they already kind of have a QPR. Calling it canon right now. He's just always slightly more close than a friend, but also not quite to romantic.

If you read the first rendition of these HC's, he's a lot like Kalim. He just…doesn't get it. Ace tries to explain that the love he feels for his best friend (you) is different to romantic love and he just never gets it. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, Deuce wants to marry his best friend. He says he wants to marry you all the time. Let's get married and have kids but like in a friend way. His mom and you just smile and shake your heads.

Btw? Mama Spade? That's your mom now. The Spade household has a room set aside for you anytime you want to come over, but it always ends up in Deuce joining you for a cuddle sesh. Sometimes, he won't change rooms until you are half asleep, and he'll slowly open the door, and stand in the doorway. He just looks so sad, standing there in his jammies, holding his extra pillow, so you'd be a monster not to let him in.

Would you co parent some chickens with him? Please please please! He promises he'll do most of the work, he just needs an extra helper!

If you are separated, he will die. He doesn't make the rules. He wants you to be his partner on projects. He wants you to move in with him. And of course you gotta go into the same career after graduation. When people meet him, they just think he is the mopiest little guy. Then, when they see the two of you together, it's like he's a completely different person! Deuce has been asked twice now if he has a secret twin. (Deuce doesn't understand the question)

Greets you with cheek kisses. If you don't do it back, or don't pay enough attention the first time, he makes a very obnoxious kissing sound. He learned this technique from Meemaw. She taught him that the more embarrassing it is, the more likely you are to reciprocate the love he gives.

The boy grew up in a country area with a sweet old grandma. He's always going to be feeding you. It's very rare, when you two are alone, that he's not trying to put some food in your mouth, because “you're not eatin’ enough!” And he's aggressive about it! If you try to dodge the fork he brings to your mouth, he's gonna chase you, pin you down, kick your shins, whatever it takes to get you to eat. Plus, he put all of his love into that food! Why don't you want it?!

Meemaw wants you both to get married. And whenever she says something, Epel makes a loud gagging sound. Which of course prompts you to begin bickering with him about why he wouldn't want to marry you, which usually results in him saying something mean or bratty about how you are unmarriageable. Meemaw sighs happily, thinking she's got you on the right track, but nah. You two are having a fight about something neither of you even wanted.

Likes to tuck you into bed. It's a weird thing of his. For all of how aggressive most of his love is, right before bed, he is at his sweetest. He tells you it's bed time, and pulls back the covers. He gently tucks you in, and gives you a kiss on the forehead. Then he flops onto the bed next to you, completely wrecking the moment. But he sleeps hot, so he's not gonna join you under the covers.

This one is like having a big brother. He has scary dog privileges. Any haters/bullies/naySayers are going to have to be able to spread their hate with him standing behind you and glaring at them. And if they somehow are brave enough to do it, then they have to be brave enough to ignore his vicious growl.

In his birthday note to me, this year, he was like, “my gift for you is to make you buff.” This is your everyday life now. You will be buff. How else are you supposed to be safe when he's not there? (This logic is flawed. He is always there.)

Wants to have a family. But since neither of you are super into the traditional way of having a family, he would like it if you'd adopt and co raise a couple of kids with him. He knows the two of you together would make great parents.

If you learned how to make pear compote, and then make it for him when he's having a bad day, he might almost figure out what romantic love feels like. Almost. His heart would just be so full, and so light, that he could almost mistake it for being in love with you. Almost.

He likes for you both to help each other out with cleanliness. You help him clean his ears and tail, and he helps brush your hair and teeth. It makes him feel loved when you help him groom. So he loves to return the favor. It really instills the familial feel he has around you.

Sebek’s a romance repulsed aro-ace. Anytime he thinks of anyone having ooey gooey feelings for another person, he dry heaves a little. In his words, “IF THEY HAD PURE DEVOTION FOR SOMEONE, THE WAY I AM DEVOTED TO MY LORD, THEY WOULD HAVE NO NEED FOR SUCH FOOLISHNESS.”

Never puts a label on what you two are. He invites you to move in with him after graduation to “remind him what happens if you forget to train and refuse to eat Lilia's healthy meals”. If you were a stranger, you'd be hurt. But you know it's an excuse. He really just likes having you around. It fills a hole in his heart.

His love language is “caring for your fragile human body”. If you slightly shiver, even if it's just a random reaction, he is scooping you up, wrapping you in a blanket burrito, and spoon feeding you soup. If you try to escape your blanket, he gently shushes you, caressing your cheek and whispering about how you need to hang on a little longer. He'll save you, don't go yet! (Similar things happen when you cut yourself, stub your toe, accidentally skip a meal…his dad and Silver may be human, but, no offense, he didn't care that much until it was about you.)

You're the equivalent of a comfort blanket. When Lilia sees Sebek having a bad day, he'll snatch you away from whatever you are doing, then place you in front of him. Sebek immediately gets distracted and starts cooing at you about how wonderful you are, and how other people should try to be like you. Every. Single. Time.

Trains you to sword fight. After you become special to him, he realizes that people may target you, in order to weaken him, and thus get a direct route to Lord Malleus. Delusional So he wants you to be able to protect yourself if he is out of reach.

He's big on setting his hand on top of your head, then messing up your hair aggressively. Then he lets out a booming laugh about how cute human reactions are.

Sometimes, he gets so happy when he sees you that he just…bites you. He'll come in for a hug, and the next thing you know, he's chomped down on your shoulder with a relaxed smile. Sometimes you'll be watching a movie together, and he'll unconsciously take your hand, and bring your forearm to his mouth so he can gently bite it. You're a fidget toy now. You'll have to get used to it.

#twisted wonderland #ace trapolla #ace trappola #aromantic reader #aromantic #asexual reader #asexual #deuce spade #epel felmier #jack howl #sebek zigvolt

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hheaven-sentt · 8 months

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you and i

summary: this must be what dante wrote about | bodyguard!leon x f!reader

word count: 3k

warnings: strong language, incredible yearning and pining, self deprecation, angst, leon is sad for like the majority of this tbh, poor guy has a lot of feelings to work through

notes: this is technically a continuation of heaven is not fit, but it can be read separately you just might miss some context. there's gonna be another installment of this probably because i'm obsessed with this concept | ao3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Leon was told what his next assignment was following his harrowing return from Spain, he’d laughed. He had outright, fully, unapologetically laughed. It was ridiculous, the idea that he would spend the foreseeable future babysitting. It wasn’t possible.

He stands against the wall of a conference room. You enter with your father after ten minutes of his waiting, and you barely acknowledge him. He doesn’t mind so much, he’d rather fly under the radar and get out than have to initiate a conversation. Your father introduces him, and he’s not sure that you even hear him. He just toes the carpet and stares forward. He prays to whoever might be listening that you don’t try to speak to him. He’s less than thrilled when your dad asks him to drive you home.

He does, of course, and he tries not to hate every minute of it. You mostly stare out the window, probably pretending that he’s a taxi. He pulls up outside your building, and considers asking if you want him to walk you up, but you’re hurrying out of the car before he gets the chance.

Grabbing your elbow, he says, “Call if there’s an emergency,”

Your eyes widen a bit when you nod, and he gently releases you. You bustle out of the car with no further words.

His apartment is empty when he returns to it. There’s little light save for the lamp on the end table. An alleyway kitchen holds his dinner for the night: a random salad he’d found pre-made at the supermarket. He sits at his pathetic dining room table. It’s only got two chairs, and he never has guests, so it feels lonelier than just having a single chair. But Ashley said it was weird to only have one chair, so here he is. He picks at the lettuce aimlessly, appetite not really kicking in the way he wants it to.

He allows himself to wonder, for a moment, what you’re doing. Have you already showered and gone to bed? Are you with someone? Maybe watching an old movie on TV? He feels awkward, and shifts around like someone’s watching him. Something crawls under his skin, and he physically shakes the feeling.

He avoids you for about a week. It’s unprofessional, but he can’t find it in him to care. He keeps a close eye on you, making sure that you’re not in any immediate danger, and calls it good. He’s been very vocal about how this is not a job he would’ve taken himself, and although it’s not exactly hard or brutal, isn’t it? Isn’t it cruel to make a grown man follow around a twenty-something all day? He sits in his car outside your apartment building, watching silently and flipping through the radio. He can’t place why, but he hates that you walk to work alone. A feeling he can’t describe gnaws away at him, makes him feel guilty all over and squirm in his chair. You seem to be able to handle yourself. But he can’t shake the feeling of what if?

He can’t tell if you like him. You’re stiff in his passenger seat, gnawing on your bottom lip. He feels strangely insecure, constantly shifting as if someone is staring at him, but you’re facing away from him.

“Up here,” you say quietly. “On the left,”

He begins to turn right. You look like you’re fighting a laugh.

“The left, Leon,” you say again.

“I know,” he says. “I was testing you,”

It was meant to be a joke, but it comes out gruff and forced. For the love of God, why can’t he relax with you? Why does he feel like he’s being judged, put under a microscope by your gaze? He steals glances at you throughout the drive. You silently bob your head to the song on the radio, tapping your foot off beat every now and then. It almost makes him smile. He is straddling a dangerous line, and he’s leaning one way further each and every day.

…

Leon decides very quickly that he likes having you in his space. A man of few constants is sure to find comfort in coming home to you on the couch watching some movie he’s never heard of. You fit against his couch nicely, breathe a new life into the cushions that were mostly for show when they were placed. He likes that you hold a hand up when there’s something good playing on the TV, and he has to wait for it to pass so he can finally talk to you. He likes that he wants to talk to you. It has dawned on him that he just likes you.

“Wanna grab dinner later?” you ask around a mouthful of chips, syllables muddled and smooshed against the mash. There’s a faint smile on your lips.

He shrugs. “We can do whatever you’d like,”

He wants very much to grab dinner with you. He’d like to do anything with you, so long as you keep looking at him and laughing at his jokes, as feeble and rough around the edges as they are. You swallow thickly and smile at him, and he feels like he floats off the ground.

“I’m thinking italian?” you suggest. “Craving some ravioli from that place downtown,”

“Italian sounds great,” he says, and he genuinely means it. Truth be told, you could’ve suggested trash from the dumpster out back, and he would’ve accepted.

“Cool,” you say, still smiling. It grows when he returns it. “We should walk there,”

He sits beside you on the couch and you wordlessly pass him the bag of chips. “You wanna walk all the way there? It’s a few miles,”

You shrug. “Why not? It’s so nice out,”

“Wear comfortable shoes, then, sweet girl,” he says, rolling the top of the chips down. You always tell him that he’s better at it.

“I’ll wear whatever shoes I please,” you tease. “Besides, if I get tired, you can just carry me,”

He hates the fact that he would, too. He would do anything you ask of him.

You’re dangerously close to him as you walk. Your hand bumps into his a few times as it swings, and he debates on the consequences of securing your fingers in his. He almost thinks it would be easier if you rejected him, that’s a pain he could work past. But if you didn’t? He’d be facing a lot more than temporary heartache; a lifetime of aiming to please, working to avoid disappointing you, and the devastating misery when he eventually does. That terrifies him. To be the source of your suffering is to strike him down where he stands.

“Can I pick your brain for a second?” you ask. He glances at you before nodding. “There haven’t been any incidents since…the one. How do we know I’m still in danger?”

He thinks for a moment. Truthfully, you’re not in any danger, at least not directly. But Leon finds himself continuously advising your father that you should remain with him, and your father always listens. He considers himself lucky that he was there that night, feels guilty over the idea of not walking you up that had flitted through his thoughts for a moment. He won’t risk something like that again.

“Your father is still worried,” he says. You nod slowly. “I can talk to him, if you’d like,”

You wave your hand. “No use. It won’t get through to him. Besides, it’s not so bad being saddled with you all the time,”

You knock your shoulder into his, and he feels like his heart stops. “You’re not saddled with me. You can leave any time you want,”

You grin. “Who would laugh at your stupid jokes? Or eat all your food?”

“I don’t need someone to eat all my food,” he teases, and you laugh. “Especially wouldn’t mind having the blanket to myself at night,”

You elbow him softly in the ribs, laughing at him. “Oh, be realistic. You, my darling, are the blanket hog, don’t lie,”

He’s beaming at you. He can’t fight the brightness of the smile, or the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. What he wouldn’t give to be able to kiss you right now, openly and freely without the guilt of his job hanging over his head like a sword. Shame taints the moment in an instant, and he makes an effort to contain his joy. You don’t seem to notice the shift, and if you do, you don’t mention it.

The restaurant isn’t the most elegant joint in town, but you behave like it is. You sit with pristine posture, pretend to know the difference between certain forks and complain that there’s only one–really, how is a woman supposed to eat a meal in these conditions?--and you tease him for having his elbows on the table.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think this was a date,” you say, picking around at the ravioli on your plate.

He grins. “Forgot to mention that I don’t have my wallet on me. Mind paying?”

“You’re a lousy date, then,” you say, grinning. “Like you’d ever let me pay,”

“It’s not like this is a five star meal, sweet girl,” he says. “Believe me, if it were? You’d definitely be paying,”

“Not going to treat the lady?” you tease. “Not very gentlemanly of you,”

He shrugs. “I believe that men and women are equal,”

You roll your eyes playfully. He likes seeing you like this, cast in the light from the fake candle in the center of the table, smiling faintly to yourself, and oh so beautiful. You reach over to steal a bite of his pasta, and he doesn’t stop you. He finds himself wanting to share with you, allow you to partake in whatever he’s having because he wants to keep you happy no matter the cost.

“Ashley’s coming home this weekend,” you say between bites. “She asked what we were up to,”

We. You and him, a collective, a pair. It sends a shiver through him. “I don’t think we’re doing anything important,”

You smile. “I think she misses you,”

He shrugs, hates the feeling of being wanted. “I’m sure she misses you more,”

He thinks for a moment about whether or not you would miss him if he left. Would you wonder about him? Would you feel longing? He knows he would. Hell, even just leaving the apartment brings a feeling of loneliness. He craves your presence, feels like he needs it to exist. You keep him grounded.

…

The fact that you walk away from him so easily–you barely put up a fight–makes him nervous. He regrets it the second it happens, his chest filling up with a guilty ache as he watches you storm away from the car. The ride was awkward, but he knew that saying anything would just make matters worse. He’s so sure that you hate him, and he’s not surprised that you do.

He calls you most days. It’s pathetic, really, how often he leaves messages on your machine. Most of the time they don’t even say anything other than a miserable apology and a few sighs of discomfort. He allows himself to wonder what you’re doing. Have you finished moving in? Have you met someone? You’d never mentioned a significant other while you were living with him, so he had this miniscule hope that things were going his way. The only problem is the massive barrier between you–his job to protect you. He was paid to ensure your safety, regardless of his want to. No matter how hard he tried, his efforts would always seem forced, incentivized by a paycheck. That’s no way to know someone, hidden behind bank statements. He wants to know you openly, freely.

He spends most of his days doing reports. There’s much less excitement now that you’re not waiting for him to come home each day. He moves through the motions without much care, barely reading the files he’s shoving into the cabinet. He thumbs through them with abandon, staring blankly at the half blacked out statements. Most times, he thinks of you. He feels guilt over the way he cut things off, but in what universe is there a more amicable way of doing it? There are approximately two other ways the situation could’ve gone.

He could’ve kept the job. He could’ve kept going every day, pretending like he doesn’t look at you like you hung the moon and the stars. He could’ve feigned disinterest until you inevitably found someone worthy of your time, and then wrestled with the heartache until it dulled. He could’ve stuck by his word and done his job.

He could’ve had both–you and the job, wrapped up together in the palm of his hand. But where would that get him? How long until you suspect that he’s acting this way for a paycheck? There was no way for that to work out. There was no realistic way for him to have both, regardless of how much he wanted that. He imagines that it would be pretty good to get paid to spend time with the person he desires most, a win-win situation.

The best decision was the one he’d already made. He hates it more than anything. He wants to see you. He wants to know you’re okay. He wants you to answer his calls.

You’re gone so long that his birthday passes. He wonders, selfishly, if you thought about him. Maybe your hand hovered over the phone for a moment in hesitation before you ultimately decided against calling him. Maybe you’d gotten him a gift you never intended to send his way. Even if he were just a passing thought across your mind, he’d take it. That was gift enough.

…

His breath is shaky as you stare at him. He wants so desperately to reach out to you, but he doesn’t. With a grin, he says, “Whether you want me here or not, right?”

You huff a laugh through your nose, a small smile widening on your features. God, he feels so lucky to see it. “I always want you here.

He could kiss you; he wants to kiss you, but not here, not now. Not when he just got you back. He’ll bide his time, he’ll wait until the world falls apart if he has to because keeping you in front of him is worth any cost. He’d pay millions, fight thousands, and lay his life down just to see you smile or make you laugh. He’s not letting you walk away so easily ever again, not if he can help it. You look at him, as if you’re really seeing him, and he feels like everything might be okay.

He enjoys spending his nights lounging on your couch. He’s been mostly relegated to average office work–who knows how long that will last–and it’s a refuge to sit against your cushions and feel you dig your feet into his side.

“For someone who always wears socks, you have cold feet,” he hisses, reaching down to move your ankle. You laugh.

“Not my fault you’re a human heater,” you say. You’re wrapped in a blanket he brought from his sad apartment; thank God that place is long behind him now. His arm is draped across the back of the couch, and your hand reaches up to hold onto his thumb.

“If you shove your feet into my side one more time, you have to call for the pizza,” he says, flicking the ball of your ankle. You bark another laugh, squeezing his thumb. He likes this, loves this even. The domesticity cleanses him better than any altar or priest ever could. He is bathed in a permanent ray of sunshine, one that warms up his skin and pushes away the shadows. You are akin to divinity. He confuses your touch with idolatry.

With a sweet sigh between hushed lips, you shuffle closer to curl into his side. He decides, right then, that this is where you’re meant to be always. Whatever the price, he will pay it gladly and fully without hesitation. There’s a traffic jam outside the window but he can’t hear it because you giggle when he pokes your side. There’s blush on the tips of your ears as you laugh.

He presses a kiss to your hair, and you sigh contently. Throughout the trials he’s endured, he’s never felt like much was worth that much pain. But, sitting here with you makes him think that there is brightness in the world. There is something to want, to love. He’s never wanted to please someone so desperately.

“I think we should stay like this forever,” you whisper, craning your neck to look at him. He’s grinning down at you in admiration, memorizing the lines and freckles on your face. “You and I,”

He kisses you, not for the first time, but hell it feels like it. You smile into it, fingers twisting into his shirt where your hand rests on his chest. His arm curls around the back of your neck, pulling you endlessly closer. If he is damned for eternity, at least that comes after this, he thinks. Your soft edges accept his jagged ones with ease, pulling him in and keeping him at close range. You pull away, resting your forehead against his.

“You wanna be stuck with me forever, sweet girl?” he asks, voice low and gruff. You smile.

“I’m not stuck with you,” you say. “Besides, wouldn’t you wanna spend eternity with someone you love?”

He rockets back. Your smile fades quickly as you realize what you’ve said. You go to shift away from him, and he panics. You can’t leave his atmosphere, not again, he won’t let you. He takes your face between his hands as gently as he can manage. He looks you in the eyes, searching for any regret, any fear. He can’t find it.

“Yes,” he says, voice shaking. “I want that more than anything,”

This must be what Dante wrote about. You must be Francesca.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy fanfic #resident evil #leon kennedy #x reader #fanfic #m writes #my fics

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bronx-bomber87 · 1 month

Text

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

#Caitlin mini reviews #chenford #s6 #the rookie 6x06 #6x06 Secret and Lies #otp: unless it is #otp: doing my job #the rookie #tim x lucy #tim bradford #lucy chen #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #tim bradford x lucy chen

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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WIBTA if I confronted my boyfriend about not feeling praised enough? Over dumb D&D shit?

Background - I (20s F) live with my boyfriend (30s M) and things are usually great. He's always been supportive, emotionally intelligent and caring and we've had no major problems. We met via D&D several years ago so it's pretty important to both of us, and I'm a DM. Before we met, he was involved in a years-long campaign with some friends and is generally more experienced in D&D than me (I've been DMing around 5 years, he's probably closer to 10).

The current campaign that I'm running is something I'm really proud of. It's a mid-length campaign and I made the story myself (I typically plan mine to be 6-8ish months to avoid things fizzling out) and I've tried really hard to step up my writing and story planning for this one.

I've put in a LOT of extra time and effort and have been holding myself to a much higher standard than I usually do. As a DM I get self-conscious over how much time people are spending with me each week, and I want to make sure it's REALLY worthwhile. And because my boyfriend is more experienced in D&D than me, I've been looking to him for feedback and/or praise, as it would mean a lot to me coming from him.

And I've been getting close to nothing. At the end of each session he immediately falls asleep and doesn't talk about it at all. It makes me feel like I'm keeping him up/boring him. So I started asking him things like "hey what did you think about how I handled X" and he'll give a brief response like "yeah it was great" without explaining anything.

He didn't even give much thought into the character he's playing either - for his old campaign he created a HUGE story for his character, background, goals, etc. I know for a fact he's an incredible creative writer and could have come up with something wonderful for this. But he didn't put down anything other than basic character sheet stuff. When I asked him about it, he says he only goes deep into character when it's "long campaigns like my old one" and "too bad a long campaign like that will never happen again. That's D&D at it's best but now we're all adults, and we're too busy to ever do that, half my friends have kids, it'll never happen again and it's so sad" etc etc.

It made me feel like shit - like anything I try to do is a waste of time and pointless compared to this legendary "old campaign". Like it's barely worth staying awake for, like it's some kind of chore he has to sit through every week just because I'm his girlfriend and he's just humoring me.

The other players have been EXTREMELY enthusiastic and supportive - they send me art they make based on the campaign after every session and have contacted me privately to compliment me on certain aspects of the campaign. I want to make it clear that this is NOT something I EXPECT, but moreso I just really really love and appreciate that they do this for me, especially while my boyfriend is kind of leaving a void where I'd want this kind of praise.

Full transparency, one of my worst fears is forcing people to play along with something that I am passionate about, but bores them to tears. I never want to make a big deal over something that means a lot to ME but doesn't mean that much to someone else. So maybe I should just let this go because, at the end of the day, it's just a game? And taking it so seriously makes me an asshole and I should touch grass? I feel like potentially starting a fight over stupid nerd stuff would be pointless on my end. But at the same time, the more we play the more I feel deflated and I really hate feeling that way. I'm not sure what to do tbh.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 3 months

Note

Jane the Killer,Ben Drowned,Homicidal Liu and Eyeless Jack with Filipina!Proxy!S/O Who Teach Them How to Speak Tagalog? also I Lived in Philippines(so Yeah But Don't Tell Anyone about my Country)

I love getting to write for Liu he's so underrated :(

Also, I am not from the Philippines nor do I know anyone who is so I'm gonna be basing this off of some light research so if I get anything wrong, let me know!

Thank you so much for requesting!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane The Killer

Jane loves getting to learn about new cultures

She isn't super into learning new languages, but for you, she would love to!

When you start teaching her, she writes little notes in this vintage leather notebook she bought a while ago, she just didn't have a use for it

She also writes all her notes in sparkly purple ink <33

She's surprisingly a very fast learner, she is speaking simple sentences within two weeks

I think that once she is fluent enough in Tagalog, she would mainly use it to gossip about people without other's understanding

Or alternatively, she will whisper romantic things to you in Tagalog

Eventually she will build up enough confidence to send you special love letters when she is away on a long mission

All written in dark purple ink and sealed with a dark purple wax seal, of course

Not only is the sentiment sweet, but she knows that only you will be able to read it, making it even more special to you

In general, she uses her newfound Tagalog ability to fluster you and romance you like the hopeless romantic she is

Ben Drowned

Ben has never really had an interest in learning a new language, and is too lazy to put in that kind of effort

Yes, even for you, as sad as that sounds

BUT! He will ask you from time to time how to say certain things

"Hey babe, how do you say 'stupid cock sucking loser' In Tagalog?

That's kind of a joke

Kind of

Most of the time he will ask how to say things for you

For example

"How do you say 'can I kiss you' in Tagalog?"

He's so stupid, but its ok because he puts his little tiny bit of brain into being there for you

Homicidal Liu

Liu, being Columbian can speak a little bit of spanish himself

It's not much, because his mom only taught him a little bit, but he doesn't really mind

So when you come around, asking if it's alright to teach him your native language, he gets super excited!

A new way for you guys to bond and spend time together? And he gets to learn a new language while doing it? Hell yeah!

He is very enthusiastic about the whole thing

Once he gets enough to put simple sentences together, he tries out saying things in Tagalog just to surprise you

To which you get excited, even if he gets it a little wrong, because you know he's trying

And seeing you get excited gives him the motivation to keep learning the language

He eventually, like Jane, uses this to whisper sweet nothings into your ear that only you would be able to understand

He uses this new pond of knowledge mostly for romantic purposes tbh

He just loves you so much !!

Eyeless Jack

Jack, being the nerd he is, is always down to learn something new

He sat down and learned French once just because he could

He is very rusty now, but if he wanted to order a salad then he totally could

While you are teaching him, he barely talks

All you hear from his end is a bunch of scribbling in a notebook as he writes down every word you say

He also goes out and buys a bunch of books either on or in Tagalog, that way he can study more when you are sleeping, and so he can try out some of the words he's learned in an actual real world experience

Once learning about the language, this puts him down a rabbit hole

He then learns about the history of Tagalog, history of the Philippines, culture and traditions, folktale, food, etc

Which comes as a shock to you when he suddenly asks for you to make Lumpia, or if you can't make it, if you can go out together and get some

He insists that if you go to a resturaunt, that it be one that is actual authentic Philippine resturaunt that way he isn't getting some watered down version of traditional foods

He must know everything about everything

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hawthornvisual · 3 months

Text

2013 vs 2024

tbh, this is incredibly difficult for me. as a trans woman, there are certain expectations for posts like these. some gruff but sad looking man who was transformed into a happy beautiful girl via hormones. so you might think that nothing has changed. or perhaps i have gone backwards, gotten hairier, bigger, becoming even more of a man than i started off as.

this might be hard to read, so i'll put the rest under a read more. CW for homelessness, starvation, transmisogyny, and probably a few things i'm missing.

my transition has been messy. in some ways, you might say that i spent the first 25 years of my life transitioning. as a child i was efemminate, loved to play dress up and dolls, but my father was so against this that he filed a lawsuit against my mother, getting a court order forbidding her from "forcing me to crossdress." this set the tone for the rest of my childhood, which is a story i will not get into here because it is much worse than the story i'm trying to tell.

growing up in a christian fundamentalist home meant that it wasn't until much later, after my mother gained custody and i had gone on to experience even further ruination of my life, that i even learned that trans people exist. that this was a thing you could do, could be. a brief flash, something hiding behind my eyes, and i had locked it away. of course i wasn't trans. i was an athlete, a martial artist, a musician, why would i need to think about gender?

when i was 16, i joined tumblr. i saw a blooming transgender community, got to see the inner thoughts and conversations that trans people were having, couldn't avoid certain things any longer. i started to identify as nonbinary, eventually even coming out to my mother, who certainly TRIED to be supportive. it was exciting, made my heart race a little, made me scared. i had no idea what i was doing, or how my world was about to turn upside down and inside out.

the summer i turned 18, i was severely injured in a martial arts tournament. my right knee had caved in, the bone at the site of the joint crushed by a man i had thought was my friend. i didn't realize what had happened, and so didn't go to a doctor until two weeks later, at which point the damage was considered irreversible. everything i was disappeared. i lost all will to live. i stopped drawing, stopped playing music. i started drinking heavily. my family knew i was struggling but any efforts to fix the situation just made it worse. my mother and older brother had been putting more and more pressure on me to get a job and get out of the house, even though i could barely walk. my older brother told me that my mother was going to kick me out if i couldn't start contibuting. i still couldn't. i became homeless for the first time at the age of 19.

when you're homeless, it's like every single day is drawn out into countless hours, and you either have nothing to do, or far too much to do, and nothing in between. i had an online partner at the time, someone who turned out to be a chaser targeting suspiciously egg shaped men and nonbinary people, who spent the entire time getting more and more frustrated that i didn't have the time to be a fucktoy. i ended up insitutionalized for a month, after which i was kicked to the curb and left with nothing but a backpack and the clothes on my back. any journey of self discovery i may have been having was on hold until i wasn't fighting for survival.

my rescue came from a nonbinary lesbian who reached out to me. i was offered a room, a place to stay for no cost. they helped me break up with my partner. i found myself in a new sort of situationship, but at a confusing cost. why was this lesbian interested in me? was that even okay? eventually we had a conversation. they revealed to me that they had thought i was a trans woman. the fact that i had been seen as a woman hit me like a truck in a blindzone i didn't know i had.

after a difficult few days of arguing with myself, i couldn't hide from it. i was a woman. maybe i had always been a woman. a thought more terrifying than it had any right to be.

i grew my hair out. i started shaving. after a few months, i was even able to book my first HRT appointment (thank you state of washington trans healthcare laws). i came out to my mother a second time, and her reaction was much different this time. maybe due to the distance that had grown between us, the past hostility that left scars still bleeding, but i suspect it was because telling her that her firstborn son was actually a woman was much scarier to her than telling her that i didn't really care about gender.

this photo is from the day that i had my first HRT appointment. my soft chin, once a weakness, could be bared proudly, the ambiguity in my face becoming something that i cherished.

a year later, i had the longest hair of my life. if i shaved and wore makeup, and dressed right, i could get gendered correctly so long as i didn't speak. in that regard, i was truly getting the full experience of womanhood. my relationship with my partner was going strong. i thought that i had found my forever.

things got messy. you will probably hear me say this again. you won't find many better ways to describe my life, other than messy. my partner had always been polyamorous, but i was not, and had not ever pretended that this was not the case. so when one of my partners friends confessed her love to them, they went into panic mode. suddenly they were pushing everyone away, reverting to old bad habits and anxieties, and our relationship began to fall apart.

the friend, we'll call her A, pretended to move on, started dating someone else. my own friendship with A was strained by the situation, and her new partner, a butch lesbian named rowan, seemed to be suffering for it. i realized that the only way our relationships could survive was if we tried to work out an agreement to polyamory. in the end that wasn't enough, but i was desperate. i was starting to see the cracks, realizing that if this fell apart, i would be homeless again. my leg injury had already been so badly worsened from my first experience with homelessness, i knew that going through it again would be the end of me.

since my partner and A were now seeing each other, i began to get ignored. the only time either of them spent talking to me was talking about each other, either joyous or trying to fix some new problem. at this point, i started getting to know rowan. we had a lot in common, i had never talked to a butch before, let alone known one, and seeing the way that they navigated gender made me jealous. i didn't know why.

more and more, rowan and i were separated from the broader relationship, and as we talked more, something developed. i had already felt it the first time we spoke, on some level, but it had grown and grown, from respect, to admiration, to desire and love. we were in a polyamorous relationship after all, so it made sense to me. but shortly after, when i told my partner what i was feeling, they freaked out. this wasn't the agreement, they had only agreed to them being able to date other people, didn't think that it would need to be specified because i wasn't polyamorous.

the entire relationship falls apart and we go back to being two separate couples, and the end of that came swiftly after. they cheated on me with A, and when i found out, that was it. my now ex partner told me that i could stay at the apartment until the lease ran out, and they would move back in with their parents. they took all the furniture, i was left with an ancient computer, a blanket, some clothes, and two pillows. my depression came back with a vengeance, and i stopped eating. by the time the lease ran out, i had lost a dangerous amount of weight. i became homeless for the second time at age 22.

this time, after only six months, i found a thin sliver of hope. i was given a place to stay. a single-wide trailer that i would share with three other trans women and a hairy nonbinary lesbian. you've probably heard the stories of similar situations. it's impossible to have healthy boundaries in a space the size of a can of sardines. or healthy anything really. i got involved in an incredibly toxic relationship with one of the other trans women, who i found out was dating nearly a dozen other people.

the only thing i could do was try to feel wanted. desired. i began experimenting with my image.

i re-established contact with rowan, but there was so much there that i couldn't bring myself to face yet. as i began to experiment with more masculine presentation, those around me took a greater interest in me. i was an object of desire. it was the most worth i had felt i ever had.

i wasn't eating again. so my weight kept dropping. in the three-odd years since my first encounter with homelessness, i had lost 30% of my entire bodyweight. this only made my physical issues get worse and worse.

i wasn't done with experimentation though. what could i do with this newfound territory?

the time came. i couldn't stay anymore. the relationship had fallen apart, and my connection to the household had been sent away in exile. the irony of this is not lost on me. i was lucky enough to be able to couch surf for a few months this time.

i lost weight again.

and again.

my knee got worse and worse. my iliotibial band tore. my birthday came and went, nobody celebrated except for rowan, now my only friend.

a week after my birthday, a lesbian couple contacted me. told me that they had a spare bedroom, and that if i could cover the costs of my own food, could stay for as long as i liked.

i started HRT again. rowan and i had managed to work through all the shit and scum of our past and started a relationship anew. it felt like this could be real.

i started to look a lot like my mom. kind of uncomfortably like my mom. rowan was butch, so i had thought i should be a femme. i didn't understand what that meant, but whatever it was i attempted, it wavered dramatically.

i began to switch, every month or so, between masculine and feminine presentation. my chest had grown enough that it was visible now, and i experienced an equal amount of joy and fear when i was gendered correctly in public, having learned to fear people finding out that i was a trans woman.

the weight didn't come back. it was like my body had burned itself so far down that it could not regrow. i had no energy, and my physical condition continued to deteriorate. but i was allowed to be myself. and i was in love with a butch. maybe that would be enough.

i began to develop a fashion sense of my own. the butch label was starting to appeal to me. and my roommates seemed to agree, since they both shifted towards butchness and masculinity alongside me. but it wasn't to last. one of my roommates, a TME lesbian i'm gonna call M, suddenly went off on a transmisogynistic rant to me. M's partner was a trans woman, and hearing this caused me to suddenly re-evaluate everything. did this happen because M viewed me as more masculine now, a more acceptable target? would this happen to G, M's partner?

i hardcore shifted gears back to feminine presentation. it felt safer. i stopped eating again. things weren't okay, but they were bearable this way. but then, one day, we got locked out of our apartment. a stupid, played out thing that happens to everyone at least once. while my roommate G went to see if the apartment manager was in with a spare key, i attempted to climb our balcony and get in through the unlocked back door. when i was up on the railing of our balcony, it gave way, and i fell to the asphalt below, breaking my back. following a trend that i set half a decade ago, i didn't realize it had happened. my back hurt, but i thought it would go away. it did, replaced by a vast numbness through the middle of my back. i began to collapse any time i tried to exhert myself physically at all. i would only find out why years later. the fact that i couldn't contribute to chores anymore, and nobody knew why, made the situation with M deteriorate much faster.

at my lowest point in years. my relationship with rowan was the only thing that kept me from giving up, but after the third time M decided to spew vileness at me i just spent months locked away in my room, terrified that any time i saw M was going to be another lecture about how i was disrespectful, loud, obtrusive, intimidating, too quiet, too lazy, whatever incoherent train of thought i would have to face next.

it was too much to handle in combination with the events of 2020, the lockdowns, the illness, the forest fires, things ended up coming to a head. at age 25, i became homeless for the third time, during the pandemic and a wildfire that filled the air with plastic fumes so thick you couldn't see ten feet in front of you.

i got in contact with my mother and had her take my cat, because i knew i couldn't take care of her like this. that was the last time i saw my cat in person before she died. rowan was frantically trying anything and everything possible to help me. i thought that this might be the end.

three and a half years ago today i got the best news of my life. there was a way out. it would be a long and tricky road, involving moving my whole life to a new country. but we could do it. not only could we do it, but we actually did it. in a months time, i was in rowan's arms. for the first time in our years of knowing each other, there was nothing keeping us apart any longer.

i was finally able to rest. able to eat. i started to regain weight for the first time in nearly a decade. i felt my energy come back, slowly at first, and then more and more until i was capable of functioning, even if at a low level. it's around then that i find out the truth of what happened to my back. it still hasn't properly healed.

in my gratefullness for life and love, i briefly forgot my identity crisis. i was happy to just exist without fear and pain. it wasn't until about a year ago, when a miracle occurred, that this changed.

i woke up one morning, feeling more energetic than usual. i think to myself, maybe i can do some light exercise, for old times sake.

my knee doesn't hurt.

MY KNEE DOESN'T HURT.

a wound that i thought would dictate my life forever, given actual time to rest and food to fuel the process, had healed. everything that i had ever given up on came rushing back into my head, ideas about who i could be, what i could become, what other injuries i might be able to recover from if i treat them right and rebuild myself. ten months ago i began to work out consistently. my back is slowly healing. i am stronger than i ever was before.

i have had to rebuild myself so many times. did i ever discover the secret of butchness in the process? no, that's something that i think will take the rest of my life. for now, my butchness is an enduring pillar, the only part of myself that never fully burnt away. standing up for myself, being my own person, loving another butch, refusing to lose the kindness i so desperately clung to my whole life, refusing to limit myself and my dreams, this is who i am. i am friends with other butches. i am not alone anymore. for now, this is butch. this is me.

#transgender #transition timeline #trans woman #butch

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niefics · 7 days

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04 | Wish we never met

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — SYNOPSIS : Actions comes with consequences, as reader has to live with her dumb decisions as she finds out she’s pregnant by a one night stand.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — WARNINGS : Cursing, being pregnant ??, angst, arguing, reader is tired of jay tbh

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ — WORD COUNT : 1.4k

Masterlist — previous — next

"Didn't I tell you to get this in to me before Thursday night? I told you it would be important for todays meeting, didn't I?" You boss spoke, looking at you with his frustrated look. "Yeah.. but i told you the project was to hard to do on my own." You spoke honestly, you've been stressed a lot recently. You decided to take a break from the work just to focus on yourself for the rest of that night just to not over work yourself since you've stayed at work that whole week almost.

"You've done much harder, stop using pregnancy as an excuse damn it!" You boss spoke harshly, he had a frustrated look sitting on his face. You bit the inside of your lip as you tried not to seem like you were upset in anyway. "This is your second time y/n, I'm tired of it!" He spoke standing up from his desk, his hands hitting his desk. "You know what.. please get out of my office .. you're off for the day, go home." He spoke in a cold tone after lashing out. You sighed harshly, you went to you desk taking everything you bought for the day walking to your car. Sitting in it, all your feelings just hit you, starting to tear up.

You've been trying to ignore any feelings you've had, That were bothering you. You just wanted everything to be back to normal, and those thoughts fogged your mind and just like that you were sobbing in your car. You grabbed your phone, calling jay. Though you two haven't talked since that night you two slept together. You felt like it was a mistake and maybe he did too. But to be honest you really needed him right now to be under him. You clicked on his contact calling him.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, grabbing it and realizing it was you. He was in the middle of a meeting, everyone looked at him as he excused himself. He answered it, sighing "hello?" "Are you busy jay?" The sadness in your voice. "I was in the middle of meeting what's wrong?" He spoke lifting a brow. ".. call me after." You spoke about to hang up but he shook his head. "No, what's wrong ?" He asked again, hearing you sigh in the phone. "Is everything okay, is the baby okay?" He was worried something happened with the child. "No.. jay, the baby is fine- it's just .." you started to sob over the phone a little, he could hear you sniffle. "My boss.. he's been over working me, and said I used the baby as an excuse to not work.. and he yelled at me and sent me home." You spoke crying a little. Jay grew upset by the fact that happened. "Are you at home now?" He asked, his tone different then before. You hummed no. "I .. I haven't left yet." You spoke honestly. "I'll be there in 10 minutes." He spoke, hanging up and going to tell them to finish the meeting without him, as he walked to his car.

It felt like it was 5 minutes before you saw him pull up beside you, immediately getting out his car and going to your car door opening it to see you are teary eyed and sniffling. "He did this ?" You nodded. He helped you out the car, whipping your eyes for you. "Stop crying, i'll have this all under control." He spoke as he took your hand and made you go inside with him as he walked inside. "Go sit down, I'll go talk to the receptionist." He spoke, watching as you sat in a chair in the waiting room. You wanted to just go home, a feeling this wasn't gonna end well.

He walked up to receptionist desk and asked to see your boss, "sir, you need to have an appointment to go see him." Jay immediately shook his head. "Guarantee you he's gonna be up in that office doing not a damn thing." He spoke. His upset tone visible and loud. The receptionist was a little intimidated by jay, immediately grabbing the phone to call your boss telling him what floor to go to to meet with him. Jay turned around walking to you grabbing your hand and walking with you to his office. "I'll have all of this under control, okay ?" He spoke looking at you in the empty elevator you nodded. "Also, I'm sorry about not checking up on you and the baby for a while, I've been busy with work-" when he brought the night up you felt guilty a little about how you acted. It wasn't like you.

"You don't have to lie if it was really about that night, I understand we did go a little far .." you spoke, the sad tone was still there. "It's been on my mind a lot, maybe I've gone too far that-" he cut you off. "We can talk about this later, I want you to know I don't see you any different, we started this relationship with a one night stand so having sex again .. there was a chance of it happening again anyways." He spoke, walking off the elevator and walking beside you to your bosses office. He knocked on the door and your boss opened it. "Ah so this must be your husband?" He spoke smiling at jay. "It doesn't matter what we are but I want to speak to you." Jay spoke crossing his arms. "Well come in." Your boss spoke moving to the side to let jay in you following after.

"You do know she's pregnant right ?" He asked almost immediately. "Well yes, I mean she talks about it a lot."

"Well then why is she overworked so damn much ?" He asked lifting an eyebrow. "She's not, I give her the same amount she's always gotten." He answered. "Well then why is she crying in her car to me about how you yelled at her about her using pregnancy as an excuse?" Jay spoke a little bit upset. "Well, because I don't see why it's a problem now just because she's pregnant. For all I know she can be lying." You mouth dropped in shock. "Why would I lie about that ?" You spoke frustrated, touching your stomach. Jay paused thinking about the memories he's already made with you only being 4 months, hearing the babies heartbeat and already looking at stuff for him and her was something he didn't want to be fake. "Why would she lie about something so serious ? Why would you think that ? Just because you have no children doesn't mean you think mine isn't real." Jay snapped.

"Stop acting like such a fucking bastard to her okay ? Just know I could by this whole fucking building our instantly, okay ?" Jay spoke harshly taking your hand and started to walk away. "Then why is your wife working for me ? Maybe she should be fired." Your boss spoke harshly. "Maybe she should, find somewhere better to work at." You looked up at jay your eyebrows raising hearing what he's saying without thinking snatching your hand out his grasp. "What .. wait-" your boss smiled. "One less employee to pay. Y/n, you're fired, get out of my office or I will call security."

And just like that you were frustrated at jay pissed actually. Walking down the you had your arms crossed so frustrated with everything and everyone. "Jay, what the fuck?" You spoke looking back at him. "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you anything. This is what you do ? I have no job now. I get it you're rich but I am not." You spoke frustratedly. Jay couldn't say anything but sigh, knowing he fucked up big time. "I.. I .. fucked up, I know." He spoke. "You know? I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB!" You shouted at jay, storming off. "Don't follow me to my car, don't call me, don't bother." You spoke speeding off, walking to your car and getting in, driving till your were outside your apartment. Your head resting on your wheel frustrated as your phone blew up with texts and calls from jay.

"Are you okay ?"

"I fucked up I know."

"Please call me i want to make sure you and the baby are okay."

And for a split moment you wish you never went to that club that night, sleeping with the random guy you met having to now deal with him and the baby you're carrying. You wanted to go back to normal.

— Tag list : @yu-yin-04 @denleave1088 @lhspeachie

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silenzahra · 2 months

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Today's the anniversary for me! ✨

I know the Mario Movie was released on April 5th 2023, but back then I was seeing the Holy Week processions with my dad, so I didn't get to go to the cinema until April 8th, which was a Saturday, and that was when everything changed for me 😌💚❤️

This is going to get a bit long, personal and emotional, so it's totally fine if you'd rather not read it! 💖

As I've mentioned, this movie saved my life simply because I was in a terrible place when it came out. Admittedly, I had been feeling a bit better that week thanks to the fact I was going out every day and was distracted and such, but my mind was still not totally... fine.

Until, at 8PM, the Mario Movie finally started and I spent the next hour and a half with a silly smile on my face, feeling like a little kid again and experimenting lots of feelings and emotions I hadn't felt in many months. Happiness. Joy. Laughter. A warm heart. Tension. Pure emotion. Excitement. Nostalgia. The urge to cry, though not from sadness.

And the need to get those cute brothers off the screen and give them each a big bear hug.

(Posted this edit on my Instagram account last Friday.)

Mario and Luigi did really save my life. I had already fallen for them long ago, when I was 13 and played Superstar Saga on my GBA, since that was the very first game that made me see these two as endearing and charming characters with a beautiful sibling bond based not only on love, but also trust, laughter and comfort.

And, in all honesty, seeing this movie, seeing that bond translated into it, was totally a dream come true. Aside from the M&L games, we don't really get to see much of these two taking care of each other (please correct me if I'm mistaken!). Also, I'm a 90s girl, so I had been wanting a good animated Mario movie since... I honestly can't remember. All I know is I used to watch the cartoons (specifically the one based on Super Mario Bros 3), and then I ran into the live action movie from 1993 and... Welp. Let's just say I'd rather forget it 😬 (Sorry if you did like it, it simply was NOT my cup of tea.)

And then this movie was announced, and every new trailer made me feel more and more hyped, and reminded me of my love for the Super Mario franchise. I had already been hyperfixated on it back in 2013-2016, when I played Dream Team and fell even harder for them (especially Luigi), and when I finally got to see this movie, that obsession came back stronger than ever.

I felt like a little child again. I went back to play my old favorite games. I listened to the ost on loop for months, and it ended up becoming my most listened album on Spotify last year.

And I also felt the urge to write again.

Writing has always been an important part of my life. I started at 8 and I simply couldn't stop. To me, it is like breathing, so when I spend some time away from writing, I'm not exaggerating when I say I feel a physical pain on my chest. And due to the bad place I was in, I had been away from it for way too many months.

It turns out all I needed was a dose of brotherly love in order to feel my fingertips tingling again with the urgent need to start writing.

So yeah. There are many things I have to celebrate today and to be thankful for. First of all: I'm alive, and happy, and better than ever, still struggling with anxiety and fears but feeling way better than I'd felt in the years before this film came out. I feel emotion, and joy, and will to continue living and enjoying life and fangirling and being myself. I feel connected to Mario and Luigi and my heart simply warms up every single time I think about them (which is 24/7 tbh).

And I'm writing again! 2023 was the year I've written the most in my entire life, and I owe it to this wonderful movie, and so far I've continued to write this year too, and that's also thanks to Mario and Luigi.

And of course, and more importantly, this film has led me to meet all of you, beautiful people, and I honestly couldn't be more grateful 🥹🫂💖 With you I can fangirl and scream and cry and be myself, and that's why I felt like sharing this with you guys, because I know you understand and share the feelings I've experimented these months since I first saw this movie. I love each and one of you with all my heart 💖💖💖

And after talking non-stop, I believe I kinda feel like finally showing my face here (the real one, not this one 😂), so... Here I go! 🤭👇

This is me today! 🤭 With lots of Mario stuff as you can see, and I even painted my nails to match the main characters! 💅

The blue is for Toad, the pink is for Peach, green and red for Luigi and Mario (obviously) and black for Bowser since he was played by Jack Black! 😁

Admittedly, I'm not very good at painting my nails because I'm not into makeup and such, but I do like to see them all painted, I think they look beautiful 🥰 Last year I used to paint them red and green all the time since I went not once, not twice, but thirteen times to see this movie, and every time wearing a different shirt 🤭 Though the one I'm wearing today is the one I wore exactly one year ago, as you can see here! 😁

I literally cannot remember when or where I bought it, but it was simply PERFECT to wear to go see this movie 😁 And you bet, when the Toad guard said that quote from the first Super Mario game, I went all silly in the cinema: "OMG my shirt!!!!!" 😂😂😂

And here are some pics from some of the other twelve times I went, and you can get a look at some of the Mario shirts I own! I may go and show them all together in a different post, and maybe also the earrings since I own a lot: red shrooms, superstars, fire flowers, green shrooms... Would you like that? 🥰

Now that I see it, I look a bit scared on the first one 😂 The green shirt I'm wearing on the second one is pure GOLD, and on the third one I kinda felt like I was taking a picture with Mario himself 😂😂😂

I did own some Mario merch before the movie came out, but last year I went and bought tons of it, including shirts, earrings, and of course plushies! 🤭

They look like a cute little family OMG aren't they ADORABLE I love them all so so much 😭❤️💚✨

So this is it! This is my little celebration of the first year since I saw for the first time the movie that saved my life 🥰 In all honestly, I would've liked to bring a fic or something, but as you all know, I went through a very hard Holy Week and I'm still not feeling totally ready to get back to writing (even though I've gotten a couple new ideas, for which I'm deeply grateful).

But I hope sharing my experience and feelings (and my face! 😂) is enough for this year, and let's hope I can bring a new Mario story to share with you guys very soon! 🥰

I love you all so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!! 💖💖💖💖💖

#super mario bros #mario movie #mario movie anniversary #face reveal #this is me!

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 10 months

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Not sure if you're actually interested in talking more about this, but I'm jumping in anyway because I relate so hard to being confused about the spiderverse timeline. Not only did everything about the society and Miguel happen fast, but a bunch of other stuff don't add up either? Like.

The first film takes place in early December 2018 according to Miles' test (if we can trust that? It does snow several times) and Peter's headstone, and Across takes place less than a year and a half later... or in July 2023 according to the bodega's security cameras?

Also, the news anchor says Peter was 26 when he died, but the headstone says 1991-2018. Then his birthday was in mid to late December? And he died right before it? That's sad. Oh! Speaking of birthdays: Miles asks why he can't go back to Brooklyn middle school. Soo... he's 13 (which the art book claimed, I think??) and skipped a grade? Is his birthday also late in the year? It has to be imminent if he can be 15 in a year and four months.

And Mayday! Babies typically start crawling at 7-10 months. 9 months of pregnancy + 7 months of living baby = 16 months, or a year and four months! MJ must've gotten pregnant immediately after she and Peter B reconciled. That's effecient of them, but I guess she'd waited long enough.

If we disregard the security cams, it's actually April-ish 2020. How long has Gwen been with the society? She says "a few months", yeah? If that's the truth, it must be between two and five months, because Jess' belly was noticeably big in the prologue, but she's yet to give birth by the end. So! Gwen joined in December or January? Maybe February? That's winter. Is it common to be dressed in shorts, tights, and sweater but no coat in New York during winter? Because that's how she's dressed. And the people around her are wearing t-shirts.

Gwen and Hobie has been on "a couple dozen" missions together. That's at least 24, if he meant that literally. Nearly one every day for one month. But it can't have been continuous because he's got shit to deal with in his own dimension in between. How do they manage their time? Do they have a schedule? And this has less to do with the timeline and is really something that just hit me:

Did Miguel deliberately gather all those spider-people to intimidate Miles with? Because HQ is teeming with spider-people doing mostly nothing (and that's only in the lobby). Don't they have villains to catch at home? I'm picturing Miguel sending a mass dm to everyone about how he needs them to come in and act natural – they have a 15 year old that has to be put in his place!

All this to say: I don't think you're dense about this. I think it's the writers that can't math.

BRUH ACTUALLY DEADASS

HOW LONG HAS JESSICA BEEN PREGNANT??????

Because her pregnancy and Gwen's time there PLUS pavitr joining in under six months is SO JARRING AND CONFUSING.

I assumed Gwen was with them for like 6 months, but that seems way too long so maybe 3? And we can (generously) say Jess was maybe 5-6 months pregnant? So okay, she's about to give birth.

And as someone who lives in NY, nah Winter here is a good 40F(4C) here or lower - even spring you have to wear a hoodie and it's like 60F(15C) until July so I don't know when they recruited her tbh

But for some reason I always assumed that Gwen joined before Pavi did, but I guess not?? But Pavi had only been Spider-man for six months? So did they recruit him right away or was HE the 'new guy' before Miles???? And why would they recruit him right away?

Yeah and with Hobie's work schedule - like I'm assuming they don't go on missions only together because she knows Pavi and LOTS of the other Peters, so either shes going on other missions with other people too- meaning Gwen has done a couple dozen with Hobie and THEN some, or she has a lot of time between missions to meet a lot of Peters around campus.

But then that adds up to like 50 something missions. Unless anamolies are happening every single day, that's still 10 weeks, five days a week - at the least.

And they have training rooms!! So i'm assuming Gwen didn't start going on missions right away with the way Miguel was treating her - so what the hell?????

It's like....

If MJ got pregnant right away, at the same time Miguel got the watch - how long did it take him to meet Peter B.??? Was Peter B the first one he met? And how long did he know Peter B before he lost his daughter? Mind you - all in under a year or so. How long was he with his daughter?????

This makes NO SENSE. NO SENSE WHATSOEVER

And also to answer your last point:

Personally I think, yes Miguel actually made a concentrated effort to do that.

I wrote about it in my Hobie dialogue break-down - but the entire Spider Society scene was propaganda meant to intimidate Miles. Hobie even points this out, telling Miles 'propaganda bro'.

Their watches can take them anywhere - Jess goes to the bridge in Mumbattan. But when they need to see Miguel, they make Miles look at the all (trained) Spider-people. Then they take him to the prison area, then the go home machine. They could've just teleported into Miguel's lair, but instead Miguel made them do this whole tour (things Hobie and Gwen have seen), before meeting Miguel.

In my opinion Miguel absolutely planned that, theres no other reason for them to have been there and for the three of them to have to walk through all of that.

They even make them go to the food court for Miguels empanada like how petty can Miguel be lol He literally just wanted to scare Miles

#atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv analysis #jessica drew #gwen stacy #pavitr prabhakar #hobie brown #miles morales #miguel o hara #spiderman #spider man #spider punk #spiderpunk #jess drew

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shai-manahan · 3 months

Text

Hi! It's been a while since I've talked about the upcoming updates, but I finally had a chance to actually sit down and make plans! (the life of a corporate slave, am I right? 🙃)

It has something to do with the changes I will be implementing on my patreon, though. I've thought for a while how to give content that's worthwhile of subscriptions while also making sure I can be comfortable with them, and in all honesty, I had a tricky time doing it. HM is too personal for me, as I used to talk about before, and some of the patreon benefits I promised before eventually felt too revealing - of my own thoughts and people whose lives were a huge inspiration for this story.

I will be talking about these changes and the update schedules as well below the cut.

UPDATES

I aim to finish at least half of HM's Book 1 this year. It seems to be a more realistic goal than forcing myself to finish everything right away (which tbh may have been a huge pressure I put on myself the past few years), though admittedly, things are unpredictable in the field I'm in; my job is full of overtime hours, and I spend most of my weekends trying to recover (or sick).

Still, I gotta finish it one way or another, and it's not going to write itself (though I wish it would!), so yeah, set realistic deadlines, pull out a few all-nighters, and maybe I'll actually get through it, who knows?

I do hope I'll have steadier finances by the time Book 2 starts so I can put more focus on writing and have sufficient energy for it, but that's a conversation for another day.

Changes in Prologue - Chapter 2

Okay. I know I promised not to make revisions until I write more chapters, but changing how some game mechanics work and reworking the stats made it a necessity, and I underestimated how much rewriting I'd have to do. A few scenes ended up not working well anymore, and I couldn't resist from revising a few clunky sections while I was at it.

Dialogue options were one of those that were significantly affected by the stat changes, but no worries, nothing is changed in the story -- meaning Wesley still fucks with the Ripper's life (oops), Richard still goes off doing whatever non-sus thing he's doing, you can still punch Bale (it's even a lot funnier this time), Bertrand remains a bitchy cop, and you'll still have your sad flashback with your former best friend/lover/crush or whatever they are to your MC.

The plan is to release the updated version of Prologue and Chapter 1 to patrons by the end of March (I will have a few days off work that week) and release it to the public once the new content is also ready, which I presume will be available next month (I will keep you all posted but I really hope I can get it done by then because it's been forever 🥲).

I might tweak Chapter 2 a little so the available portion can stand on its own rather than be divided into two parts, because it's just too long lmfao and is harming the pacing as I keep worrying about the length. I'm also incorporating a few suggestions a few folks gave me these past few months.

Succeeding chapters

I've probably said this before but things are bound to get more insane in HM once we're past the first three to four chapters. But also quicker to write in a way. They're the kind of scenes I thrive in, and while they have bigger variations, they're a lot more fast-paced, characters start being manipulative little shits, and the threats are more prevalent than ever. Your Ripper will not have a good time, but I certainly will (I say as I look at my outline and get sad doing it). There will be a few "breaks" in between, but this is not and will never be a light-hearted story. Anyway, I'm inclined to believe I'll be more consistent with updates when that time comes, so bear with me for now :')

PATREON CHANGES

This is getting long, so I'll just list the updated tier benefits and end the day with it. I'll be posting a schedule that I will be committing to (here and on patreon tomorrow morning), with the below details as well (so if you wanna stop here that's totally valid) but for now, here's the tentative list:

Tier 1

Early access - 4 days before a public update (this month will be an exception and you'll get the update as soon as the other tiers get it, too).

Sneak peeks and deleted scenes - I included the latter because apparently I delete a lot of great scenes

Hints for future revelations in the story - the categories will depend on results of polls; the hints may be about Bale's death, about Ripper's family, Pharos, Cyro, the ROs themselves, or the nightmares that the MC is getting, etc. Might be in form of vague conversations/dialogues between unknown characters, might be me dropping subtle info about those involved. Either way, it will be fun :). The polls and these hints will be given monthly.

Tier 2

Early access - 1 week before a public update

all the other benefits for Tier 1

monthly RO snippets - I'm still experimenting with this, but I might simply write MC x RO snippets (with different kinds of MCs for different scenarios because I deeply hate writing blank slate MCs, sorry)

a choice to see the POV of a character, decided through polls, for every chapter/update.

Tier 3

Early access - as early as it's available and goes through testing stages

all other benefits for previous tiers

Non-RO short stories

Previews on unintroduced characters :)

That's all for tonight! I am so tired lmfao but I hope you all are having a great weekend so far! See you tomorrow :)

#patreon #patreon changes #updates #hollowed minds progress update #interactive fiction #hollowed minds series #hollowed minds #wip #writing #hollowed minds book one #if wip #interactive novel

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golbrocklovely · 7 months

Text

finally, after so long, here is my review of the conjuring series/hell week.

this is EXTREMELY LONG so strap in, grab a drink, and a snack. or, feel free to skip to the end to read my overall thoughts lol

like previous hell weeks, i'm gonna rate each episode and then answer whether or not i would rewatch the episode.

lmk what you guys thought !

episode one:

the obvious meat and potatoes of this whole video was satori and cody's method, which i'm just gonna refer to as The Method just bc it's easier to say then writing out their names over and over again lol

i'll be honest with you, i'm super glad that snc did their best to debunk the tapping and whatnot. i honestly think that if they hadn't tried, a lot of ppl wouldn't believe them at all or would think that either they're lying, or satori and cody are.

as for the answers that satori and cody gave… it's hard. bc on one hand i truly do believe in psychics and mediums. i myself have experienced readings or things i have done on my own. i have had a lot of things happen to me that just logically don't make sense. i do believe there are ppl that have the ability to talk to the dead. but part of me is weary of satori and cody. idk know them from a hole in the wall. they could have easily researched snc, and their past relatives, and just bullshitted the rest. same thing with their producer. it's not hard to look up someone's ancestry. i would like to believe that isn't the case, but you can't be too sure.

the debunking that snc tried did make a strong case for The Method, especially doing it in random locations that they didn't know about. but again… idk. part of me just felt like i was side-eying the whole time. and look, i want to believe that they have good intentions and they are genuinely contacting something. but again, ppl lie for far less.

but no matter if they were lying or not, i 100% believe snc's reaction to it. it was real for them, and that's all that really matters to me tbh.

i felt really bad for sam, or i guess happy for him but sad that he was crying so much. my theory with him has always been that even tho he has experienced attachments and heard things, seen things, all that jazz - i truly think for the longest time he never fully believed. i think he would rather chalk up a paranormal experience as a group psychosis before saying a place was haunted. but since that probably wouldn't bode well for either of them, he just agreed that what they experienced was "crazy" and moved on like nothing happened. also, i have this general feeling that he doesn't believe his own experiences, which is why he questions ppl like colby when he goes thru something, but i haven't really fleshed out why that could be the case. but i think this was his "come to jesus" moment, so to speak. i mean, he explained it himself that he honestly didn't think there was anything after this life. that once you died, you're gone. so this was both great and terrifying news to hear. not to mention, to hear it from your dead grandmother was definitely surprising for sure. i honestly hope this brought him some closure or comfort. bc i know i always felt really sad growing up that my grandparents, literally all of them, never got to see me graduate high school or college or perform on stage. but i always had a feeling that they watched me do all of that so it's nice to hear that for someone else, that was the case.

granted, The Method could just be bullshit to conjure up an emotional response for views and notoriety… but for now, i'm gonna just take it at face value. sure, it's real. i think what also makes me lean towards that is that cody and satori don't charge ppl for this. it only happens at the conjuring for the most part, so…. unless they start becoming a side-show circus act with a big ticket price, i'm just gonna take them at their word. plus, the random locations snc took them to, unless the boys are in on it (which opens up too many cans of worms), The Method wouldn't have been able to work in these spots or actually have satori and cody come up with real ppl that died there.

i will say tho, it was kinda funny that sam's having this emotional breakdown over hearing his grandmom telling him she's watching over him and his siblings, and then colby's getting his great grandfather coming thru to tell him to tell his parents that he's there lol like…. thanks dude i never met. appreciate the love and support.

overall this episode was fine. it wasn't my favorite of the series, but it wasn't a bad way to start the series. this episode did draw me in enough to want to see the rest, but i was also a little weary of what was to come.

(oh yeah i forgot to add that the new owner… something feels deeply off about her. like i can't put my finger on it, but if it comes out years down the line that she was bringing demons into the house or something, i will not be surprised lol)

rating: 3/5

would i rewatch: yeah i guess, but not fully

~~~~~~~~

episode two:

so going into this episode, i was a bit… not excited, since i knew amanda was going to be in the video. i've always had my reservations with her. mostly, i think she has abilities, i just think she talks them up to be something that they aren't. plus she has made some comments in past videos that just make me look at her sideways bc they don't make a lick of fucking sense (ie queen mary, she talked to a ghost that said he had lived other lives before this one, he was just stuck in this one for some reason, and she literally told snc she didn't believe that bc "reincarnation isn't in the bible" …..BRO, you talk to the dead. maybe not everything in a 2000+ year old book that's been translated 150+ times is gonna be accurate. also again, need i remind you, YOU TALK TO DEAD PPL). as for how i felt about her during this episode, she was fine, i guess. the only time she annoyed me was during the estes method where her and sam were just bouncing off one another in the worse way lol but i'll get more into that later.

i think it was really interesting that they interviewed andrea perron. they need to do that more often: find ppl that used to live in these places that they visit and get their story, instead of just listening to tour guides who amp up the scares just bc they need to. i thought her interview was really intriguing and i can only imagine how horrible it must have been to live in that house all the way back then. and to see your mother get thrown across the room?? idk what i would even do as a kid in that moment.

so the first part of the investigation was with amanda, snc, and cody and satori. (side note, i love that the touch toy for the ghost kids is a basset hound). i think this whole first part was kinda funny only bc in my most cynical mind, it's three fake mediums trying to one up each other the whole time lol

i don't fully believe that, but that's what my mind kept going back to.

i do find it odd that amanda couldn't see her past relatives but The Method was able to allow them to talk. idk, if i could see dead ppl, i think i would be a bit pissed if my loved ones were like "nah, i know you got the vision but i ain't showing myself in front of you". it also doesn't really help her case of what her abilities are or how strong they are if she can't even see ppl she actually once knew.

i also find it odd that all loved ones are apparently able to get across is "watching over __" bc both snc and now amanda got that message. again, to me, this just reads as like someone in this scenario is faking something. idk what, but i just remember laughing at this whole part bc it just felt funny to watch each one try to one up the other and then snc are just like :O the whole time.

and what made this top tier comedy to me was sam asking who wrote amanda's name, and them saying it was a spirit. i'm so sorry…. but you gotta be on fucking CRACK to think that happened. i believe in ghost, the paranormal, the whole enchilada………. but a ghost soldier wrote amanda's name in the sand???? no. sorry. that didn't happened. and you cannot tell me it did lmao

honestly in situations like this, i'm more incline to believe equipment than these, respectfully, quack jobs.

i thought it was sweet that colby kept being really nice to abigail and calling her the matriarch of the house. isn't he just a sweet boy lol

the second half of the day 2 was where i got more interested and into the video. the rempod going off constantly, the camera immediately dying, that little cabinet door opening, all of that in like five minutes is crazy. and then the estes method, while interesting, was also deeply annoying since sam and amanda decided to tag team and do the one thing i hate that they try to do during the estes method - connect everything while the words are still coming out. like CALM DOWN. connect later. it was freaky to see the rempod going off in time with their estes method tho.

the woods session was kinda cool. idk how i feel about the alice box yet. why does it only say some words but the others are just on the little text box? whatever i guess. gonna be honest, woods don't really scare me for paranormal reasons. i'm more inclined to believe i'm gonna get my ass eaten by a bear or stabbed by a human so it wasn't really all that creepy, but it was cool to see this half. and then to have snc sleep in the woods… props. but to be in the woods in august in hoodies was a choice i wouldn't make, personally.

day three josh and seth came and thank GOD there were ppl in this series/episode i actually liked that joined them. their half made the video a lot better. so they start off by doing the ritual, which honestly just felt more like (literally) dancing on someone's grave so…. idk about that one. a bit disrespectful if you ask me. colby literally did the ice spice on her grave… boy i would haunt your ass for eternity for that one lmao

hearing andrea perron speak of that fateful night of her mother being possessed, again, my heart breaks for her. whether you believe in the paranormal or not, something traumatic happened to her and her family. and i just feel for her.

so when they moved on into the investigation, i just gotta say, if they plan to use the spirit box, they NEED to invest in a microphone or a better speaker for that thing bc good god i couldn't hear a single thing that was coming thru. but moving past the spirit box, the door to the library just opening on it's own?? and the camera moving slightly?? that's nuts. bc it's one thing for a draft to open a door. you're talking about the middle of august tho. there's not gonna be strong winds (for the most part) during that time of the year unless it's storming. so if a draft blew the door open, it had to have been a HUGE one to literally push a rock out of the way. and it can't be ac bc then that door would be constantly opening.

when they separated, i get why they did, but like… why do you have to do it in the dark? i would be turning on flashlights or some form of light immediately. you're not about to catching me busting my ass on the stairs of a 300+ year old house lol

josh's sleeve moving was actually kinda freaky, ngl. i know it was very subtle, and technically could have just him moving his arm and then feeling the sleeve pull or relax or whatever, but to me… it looked like something pulled it.

then when snc went in alone, i find it funny to think of a spirit just running up and down the stairs, fucking with the rempod or the motion sensor, just to see them freak out. when sam invited whatever it was up to them, and then it got near the motion thing, and colby noped out of there and literally yelled at sam like "why did you invite it up here with us?!" ngl - favorite part of the whole video. also it was kinda cute that snc tried to do The Method on their own. kinda wish it would have worked for them.

colby doing the whole "imagine being andrea perron" speech he gave…. colby, can you not? also, are you good? lol

okay, so my overall thoughts on this episode - dragged in the beginning, but got good half way thru. they also got some really good evidence outside of The Method, which i would rather they not use every episode (but end up doing regardless).

rating: 3.5/5

would i rewatch: sure, but only the second half

~~~~~~~~

episode three

so the previous episode left off with sam going into the basement late at night, almost looking possessed or something. and while i obviously didn't think that, i did want to know why he would go down there alone for some reason.

but that's for a later point in this review. let's get to the collab they did.

larray and bella…….. omg, i'll just be completely honest: i hated this collab. like genuinely, it takes a lot for me to find ppl insufferable, but larray took the cake this time. bella was fine, she seemed nice and did her best. and i love that me and @xplrvibes literally said "oh i bet they're gonna try to say bella is an empath bc she's a girl bc they do that all the time" and WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE IT 11 minutes in they asked if she was one. i'm just glad she said no lol but back to larray……. first off, that shirt was a choice. and i'll leave it at that. but secondly, i'm okay with ppl joking is scary situations. i'm okay with them having guests that hear them say something insane and then immediately go "yeah fuck no to that, i'm leaving" or some iteration of that joke. but, larray took it too far. i don't think he said anything else other than "i don't want to be here" ect. and i get he was scared, but GOD, SHUT UP. like i got it the first five times you said it, i don't need to hear it the next 24. it literally took for him to get a message from the beyond to get him to be quiet.

i'll be honest, i don't even want to review this half of the video bc it was SUCH a drag. i remember i wasn't even half way thru and i was like… oh you're joking, we're not done yet? bc that's how annoying that whole section was. it wasn't solely larray, but he definitely exacerbated the problem.

the ring of lights that ppl can cross over, idk about that. it feels like it's fake but whatever. bella having a separate phone just for content… i love that for her lol them going into the basement is cut short only for the fact that we KNOW sam went down there first and colby was none the wiser until like two days later. The Method being done for bella and larray was cool i guess. but then sam getting an extremely private message that he couldn't share, i get that. and i hope that whatever message he got was something he needed to hear (but the way he mouthed "oh no" makes me think otherwise). my only issue is why even use any of the footage from that then? i know it's a bit nitpicky, so i'm not gonna press on it too much.

to the fans on tiktok that were saying "omg what if the message was from corey la barrie"….. please seek professional help. this isn't a fanfic. stop thinking like it is. bc i saw MULTIPLE tiktoks saying that.

but continuing on with The Method, i'll be honest with you: i'm not sure what the afterlife is like or what it entails. but it is hard for me to just blindly accept that it's all good and light and love and whatever random other words satori and cody wanted to throw in there that abigail said. i know it's my cynical mind, but hearing shit like that just makes me roll my eyes. like i know that sounds dark and sad, but that whole thing just made me go like "okay… sure."

maybe it's bc it's too generic. like that's what every form of media has said about the other side for forever. if i was able to get my point across and reach a ton of ppl, i would be sending messages like "god is woman and she sucks at beer pong" or "ice cream is free up here but only on tuesdays" or "guess what? i'm hanging out with EVERYONE'S dogs" not just love and light. boooorrrrriiiinnngggg lol

but i will note something that i thought was interesting only bc i've always had a similar thought process: cody says he doesn't know why they're able to do what they do. he believes it might have had something to do with his cancer complications and dying once. and the reason why i can believe that is i've always had this belief - so, as someone who has attempted to end my own life twice, i've come very close to death. and i think ppl that knock on death's door, you can't just unknock. you can't ding dong ditch death. so i kinda feel like those that get very close to the other side cross a line that can't be uncrossed, so to speak. which i think is also why i had the most paranormal experiences when i was going through some dark times (or had just gone thru them).

what i find peculiar is how the narrative of the basement has changed. before it was dark and demented, something evil lurking around each corner, colby having a full blown panic attack down there. all that, right? but now it's "oh it's just a trickster spirit that likes to cause havoc and is for the most part harmless. and also really would rather you be in the woods." and yet even with that knowledge in mind, everyone was still too freaked out. like if they kept getting cryptic and weird messages i would just be like "find a different trick. you don't scare me" or eventually just leave the basement altogether if nothing was going to be happening besides "come to the woods" over and over again.

but bc snc never listen, they went to woods. and again… woods to me aren't scary for paranormal reasons. more so for bears or humans. but they did get some cool evidence at the graveyard.

i'm just gonna skip that whole thing and get to the part that i want, no - NEED, to talk about which is…. colby standing up for himself when sam told him about the basement.

i was genuinely confused as to why snc weren't mentioning sam going into the basement. like i figured, sam went down there, something happened, and then he told colby. or something to that effect. but to find out that a) he had no real plans of posting this into the vid and b) he waited like two days to finally tell colby it happened…. that's really fucked, ngl. the absolute hurt that was on colby's face is so evident, no wonder sam started backpedaling (but just made it all the more worse). like colby has made it abundantly clear time and time again that he doesn't like being left in the dark about where someone is going/doesn't like being left behind and sam did exactly that. not only that, but he then did something that both him and colby swore they would do together - go to the basement. everyone was waiting to see them go together and experience whatever's down there, but sam took that for himself - like colby said. and then sam tried to justify it with "oh nothing really happened, plus we don't have to show fans, plus i really needed to do it bc everything has been so crazy" and it's like………. WHO DO YOU THINK HAS BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU???? it's colby. while colby might have had some form of belief system before all of this, this whole situation has been insane to him as well. so you don't get to use that as an excuse. and then to say that fans don't need to see this footage, that just feels wrong. bc at the end of the day, the person sam hurt was colby. and regardless of whether or not we would have known about it, colby still would have known. and that's the part that sucks. sam was extremely self-centered for making this decision and then thinking colby would just let it slide.

and i know some of you are gonna probably be up my ass about this opinion since god forbid i give criticism towards sam. but i would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed, especially if sam was upset about it. and god knows there wouldn't have been an argument about including those clips in a video, but i digress. i just think it was messed up of sam to do to that to colby. and i hope bts he apologized profusely.

but to be a bit more light hearted about it… colby looks really hot when he's angry or annoyed. so that's nice, i guess lol it's the clenched jaw and the narrowed eyes, in case you didn't know why you found it hot either. also, he was too calm, and that's hot AND scary lol

i think it's funny to think that if they didn't include sam going there by himself and then this confrontation, we would never know why in the next part colby seemed annoyed/angry and ppl probably would have just blamed the spirits or some shit.

which also did happen…

but to bring it back for a second, you know what the scariest part of this video was for me? the tick on colby's leg. GROSS. disgusting. i would have screamed so loud i'd wake the dead lmao

but anyway the estes methods they did in the basement were very revealing and honestly the best part of the episode imo. them realizing, or believing, that dave is actually the trickster spirit and not some soldier following them around was actually really cool to see unravel. and surprisingly this time around sam jumping to conclusion over and over again paid off well. and then when colby was asking the questions, it was interesting to see his reaction to what was being said. him being annoyed at sam before hand really elevated the estes method, funny enough.

maybe it's bc i don't know about trickster spirits and what they are meant to do or whatever, but if i know the spirit i'm talking to is fucking with me, i'm just not gonna talk to it anymore. i'm not gonna give it what it wants, which is to see me scared. and i think snc, without knowing it, were feeding into what dave wanted.

their equipment malfunctioning over and over again was crazy, ngl. but the actual scariest part of the whole vid was who the FUCK was that behind them in the basement coming up the steps??? fuck The Method, now THAT is proof of the other side existing, especially if snc were alone in that house at that point (which assumingly they were).

so this episode was a bit of rollercoaster for me. some parts were just plan bad to me. like i wouldn't even consider rewatching the first half again tbh. it was tedious to do it just to make this review, so that alone deducts this episode a bunch. but the second half, basically everything after The Method where larray and bella's loved ones talked to them, was pretty decent/better. and of course, once snc were alone, the video was at its best. i truly wish snc would just realize that they do so much better and get such better results without other ppl. just the two of them is enough. i truly wanted to like this episode, and i did to some extent, but no offense to larray, his over reactions just soured most of the video for me. he seems like a nice guy, and i didn't mind him the first time around when snc collabed with him, but god… just shut up next time lol

rating: 2.9/5

would i rewatch: only the tail end, tbh…. so no i guess lol

~~~~~~~~

episode four

i'll be honest with yall, i was mixed about how this final episode was gonna play out. part of me was excited to see it, another part of me was like… eh, don't care. but i will say, i was pleasantly surprised with this one. i guess in a weird way it was my favorite of all the episodes, but that's not saying much since none were really my favorite anyway.

niki and george were fantastic. honestly no notes. they didn't talk the entire fucking time, they weren't overly negative, they kept in line with snc's humor and or seriousness. i loved it truly. 10/10.

i completely forgot that kris called them to tell them about a dream she had. her and niki, and celina too… all having dreams about snc. what are they, fans??

i'm joking btw.

i think the dream element can be a bit questionable, but i do also think it's kinda creepy too. even if for argument's sake it's not real and/or is propped up to be something more serious than it is.

the foil house/tent thing they built was…. confusing. but i'm down for them to start using different methods, especially if they end up working or are interesting. they split up and neither really got anything that compelling, but when they played the picture game it was creepy that only colby's pics got fucked with a bit. it's always colby lol

but i gotta ask, didn't they break the first rule of the game which is nothing is supposed to cross over the circle in the middle? bc sam did that by putting the water cup down in it. also, i highly doubt that snc trashed that camera. highkey it's probably in their office rn.

the duel estes method, in theory, is a cool idea. but the execution wasn't really good enough. like sure, they got some answers, i guess. but half of the words were just random. and tying niki and colby together was kinda pointless. snc just love exploring their kinks on camera huh skskks jk

so, i think what was a bit confusing about sam freaking out (before) going into the basement is that did you really think colby wasn't gonna send you down there at some point? he has made a big stink about it since it happened to him. of course sam had to have known this was gonna happen. not to mention, sam's fucking challenge for colby would have literally caused him to get lost in the woods…. so i would say sam got the nicer of the two options.

as for what transpired in the basement, clearly sam was absolutely losing it. whether it was paranormal or not, he was scared out of his fucking mind. and i get it must have been creepy as hell down there. and god knows he lasted longer than i would have. but there is no reason he has to push himself that far to believe there is something more. like is it really worth being permanently scarred just to know if something is down there? not to mention, but whatever is down there, feeds off of havoc and scared energy. and you basically fell into its trap. like, i'm not blaming sam for freaking out. god knows i would be way worse in that situation. but i also wouldn't have been the dumbass who leaves my phone upstairs and has no extra back up light.

also colby is too forgiving bc i would been like "since you love the basement so much, here you go :)" lmaooo

(sidenote, why is colby walking around in only his socks???? ewwwww. do that in your own home, not the conjuring my guy. and another sidenote, does sam's face look swollen in the basement, or is that just the camera being hella zoomed in? idk why he just looks different)

colby giving a whole disclaimer or explanation about why he could leave sam in the basement…. i blame the fandom bc there is no reason for him to being doing all that. sam was literally gonna have him walk alone to the fucking graveyard. sam is fine in the basement. he can leave whenever he wants to. colby ain't a bad guy for giving him a challenge like that.

the walkie dying is so eerily spooky to the og alone conjuring video it's kinda crazy. but, maybe there is just bad reception lol

moving onto the final stretch of the video, the tarot reading. i know snc kinda showed more of the original reading on xplrclub, but if they truly think her first reading was super accurate, i really hope this reading is also just as accurate. snc deserve a lot more positive than negative these next couple months. so i hope that happens for them.

(might have to do a tarot reading on them myself just for funsies)

The Method's last messages… again, idk. imma just say this, to quote beetlejuice the musical "positivity is luxury that few can afford" and i'll just leave me beliefs at that.

i'll be completely honest with yall, idk what the priestess did with snc. the whole thing, the ouija board and exorcism/cleansing was intriguing, don't get me wrong, but idk what the fuck was happening. i kinda just watched it and accepted it at face value bc again, idk anything. it probably would have been for the best if snc explained it a bit better or did something to let us know what was up. i don't really believe everything that the priestess believes, but i do find her interesting enough that i hope she comes back eventually. god knows snc are gonna need another cleansing at some point.

colby going into the woods blindfolded…. is he trying to literally fall off of a bridge? what is with yall using blindfolds and ties? enough of the kinky shit, already.

but as for what happened out there, i think it was an interesting end to the final investigation. i could sort of hear something running up on colby, and i can only imagine how that would have felt in the moment. and who knows what it could have been? my bet is it was an animal, but i also feel like if it was one, it would have kept chasing him. but who knows. i'm just glad he didn't get hurt.

overall, i would say this was my favorite episode. i think it had a lot more high moments than lows, and that alone makes it the best. the collabs were good in this one, they got really cool evidence, and it was just a great way to wrap up this series.

rating: 4/5

would i rewatch: yeah :)

~~~~~~~~

now, onto my thoughts on this whole thing:

so going into this series, i wasn't too excited, as i had mentioned before. i felt as if snc should have taken this year off and came back during hell week if that was something they direly wanted to do. bc a lot of the content that came out this year was just… not good. it wasn't on par with what their calibar is. but i think this series was probably the best thing that came out this year by them. a lot of cool and interesting things happened in this series, and clearly snc's hearts were fully invested in this. there was passion in this series, and that's what a lot of their other videos this year have lacked, imo.

as for The Method and it changing the world….. i love snc, clearly. i deeply care for them. but they truly need to have someone in their camp that's gonna tell them reality. i mean, just as i'm writing this, there are tons of ppl on tiktok and youtube trying to disprove and nitpick apart the series and in particular The Method. but here's how i feel about that: satori and cody could be lying, that's true. they could be faking it somehow. but i don't think that's the takeaway from this series. i've seen how many ppl this brought closure to, how many ppl feel better now knowing there is something else after this life. and that in itself is worth it, even if it's not real. this series wasn't gonna change my mind bc i myself already believed in the paranormal and already believed that there is something more out there. i don't need two random ppl to prove to me i'm right. i already believe that on my own. and in that regard, i know that this series isn't for me. it's for those that needed to hear those words, that needed the confirmation. and for those ppl, i'm happy this gave you that. honest to god. just bc i didn't get that out of this doesn't mean i look down on those that did. if this helped you in any way, that's fantastic and i'm glad. i'm not here to argue whether or not The Method is a lie. idc tbh. snc believe it, and i believe them.

and if it comes out that satori and cody lied, fuck them. but until otherwise proven, i'll believe what they're selling. i'm just… not gonna buy any myself.

but even taking them out of the conjuring equation, snc caught some crazy shit there. of course, a lot of it was amplified by The Method, but i think what they did outside of that was more interesting and compelling than The Method. what i think will be more important is what they now do with the information they know. how are they gonna move forward now knowing what they know? what are they gonna impliment now that they didn't think to use before the conjuring? that's what matters to me.

idk if i got an ask that said this or not (i would have to double check but if i did - hi anon, here's your answer), but i know ppl are asking how snc are gonna top themselves this next year for hell week. personally, i don't think they have to. i think they should go back to what hell week looks like usually: a bunch of different places with different guests, but now more amplified. maybe, crazy concept, do more solo investigations. how about during next year's hell week you just… go alone to all seven places? maybe stop by the conjuring another time? you already proved (for the most part) that there is an afterlife and more beyond this life, why not go back thru your greatest hits with fresh eyes? that's what will make a difference in the content and take it to the next level without you literally contacting a demon or something.

i was pleasantly surprised by this series, and i'm more excited now to see what they do next than i was before, so… mission accomplish lol

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #personal #hell week #text

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otaku553 · 9 months

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How goes the fma x albedo fic? I hope that doesn't sound pushy, I'm genuinely curious. And in that vein, do you have any little drabbles you may have written or want to write? Especially with your recent kny ocs/yourself and your siblings. That'd be super fun to read about! Your art AND your writing is so freaking good, the moment I see you've posted something new on your blog I'm clicking it so fast. Same with your ao3 account ❤️

Thank you for the kind words!!! Currently not working on any fics, since I just came out of 10 weeks of summer research where my days began at 8 am and ended at 9 pm for probably less than minimum wage hahaha (doing research is a Bit Sad but I get a whole month to relax before classes start again so thank goodness for that)

I do however!!! Have a lot of plans!!! If you’re interested you can read more below!

Plans include but are not limited to:

Finally working on Homuncular Nature again!! I definitely do have a lot of plans and cool scenes playing out in my head for the next chapter, it’ll just come down to when I actually put pen to paper (or stylus to iPad) to actually organize and write them all. The road block I think is that I have seen neither Albedo nor fmab very recently and all my concrete ideas are for around the 30 episode mark for fmab, the turning point with the first actual confrontation against father and the subsequent Briggs arc.

Rewriting Ten Thousand Maple Leaves! A lot of people have been very kind but I think I missed the mark with my first chapter to be honest. My writing has gotten a lot wordier and less succinct, which feels like I’m filling a chapter more with fluff and unnecessary description than actual content. I think I also dislike how I characterized Sanemi and how quickly Kazuha was willing to agree with things. Writing both of them is kind of a difficult challenge tbh! I think in rewriting it I want to give back to Kazuha more of his vagrant role in the games, where he is avoiding the law for reasons somewhat out of his control.

Ebisu siblings content! I think it might be fun to try having them interact with more of the canon characters in kny but I also think there’s some value in a complete sort of outsider point of view when inserting characters into a piece of media. I feel like whenever I see self inserts I see a lot of ocs making themselves indispensable and making meaningful relationships with existing characters that way and that’s totally valid! That’s a lot of what I do for crossovers as well. I think when it comes to my own ocs though, I want them to feel grounded in some form and the reality of it is that none of the characters I make based on myself or real people are that impressive or remarkable. But I also think there’s a lot of value in showing smaller scale things outside of the main interactions and plot to show that even though we aren’t remarkable, we still have our own meaningful connections and ideologies and stories :) in the end the Ebisu siblings are a lot more visual though so I may just continue making doodles and art without writing anything haha

Kirby & Meta Knight ageswap AU: I was mostly doing this on my ask-gikabi sideblog in short form comics, but I lost sight of what I wanted to do after making the discord and starting to interact with some of the people who followed it. I think a lot of people are inspired and have their own very cool ideas that I wanted to take into account but then eventually it was no longer my story or the story I wanted to tell, which is why I’m thinking of restarting it as a fic. This one is still in very rough idea stage though, I have honestly no clue how I’m even going to begin organizing it

Yanfei ace attorney crossover: this one’s just pure crack lmao I would definitely write it as crack taken seriously but I think this is fun to explore just for small ideas that pop up every now and then, i.e. yanfei is semi-immortal because she’s half adeptus so it would be Really Funny to me if she showed up in dgs era, got her attorney’s license, went into hiding after it became obvious that she wasn’t aging, and then re-emerged after rebranding herself as her own daughter or granddaughter. That, and I have a lot of fun imagining someone as pragmatic as yanfei trying to get through the sheer chaos of aa despite being otherworldly

Continuing winter weather advisory: I got to a really good point in that fic and was rereading it today like,,, damn I wrote that? And it would be fun to see where I planned on going with it so I do want to also try working on that a bit if I can

Kazuha & Kunikuzushi role swap au: this is something I posted about a Long While ago but it’s an idea I continue to be fascinated with :) I especially enjoy how these two characters could have had completely different roles and personalities depending on how their pasts happened (with wanderer being so nice and turning so bitter and kazuha growing up so spoiled (for lack of a better word) and turning out so weary and yet kind

Link click and mha crossover: this one is honestly just a very recent idea but I think it would be fun to make a drabble on how lightime photo studio would be able to continue operating even in another world and the trouble they might get into for illegal quirk usage and what using cheng xiaoshi’s powers in a world where being able to tell the future is canonically possible would entail

I have!! So many ideas!! And not enough time or motivation to actually write any of them most of the time :’)

But I’m very glad to hear that you enjoy them and look forward to my posts!! :D I really hope I can work on some of these over the last month of summer vacation that I have :)

#to this day I still get kind of freaked out when people compliment both my art and my writing #like wow!! thank you so much!!!!!! the art compliments I expect because I’ve been pretty bloated in my opinion on my own art since childhood #but the writing always comes as a surprise!#especially when people are like ‘oh I found you through your writing and found out your art is also good’ like WHAT #if anything I’m much more likely to be found for my art I feel like!!!#but thank you fr #people telling me my writing is actually good has done wonders for my confidence in classes for writing essays and such #and it really shows because when I’m less worried about how good my writing is and trying to make it sound good I get to devote a lot more #time and energy towards planning and figuring out ideas for what I want to write and my past few essays in humanities classes have done grea

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