#idk become a writer and make your own if you want it that bad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starzioo · 2 months

Text

𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐒. 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐓.

So I’m going to preface this by giving you literally the biggest angst warning that you could ever possibly have. I’ve been having a bad writers block and angst is literally the only thing I can write rn idk why. Even though I lowkey teared up while reading over this I hope you like it as much as I do lol.

5.1K WORDS

WARNINGS: HEAVY ANGST, CHARACTER DEATH, BLOOD.

Play this when you see the ♫ symbol.

You've never given much thought to how you would die. But dying in the place of someone else sounded pretty good.

You're sprinting down the corridors of Hogwarts, making any turn you could take that would maybe lead you to help. Your lungs felt tight, your air ways were burning. With spells being casted at you barely missing you by a hair each time. You fired back, but missed. The black haired woman running after you letting out vicious cackles with each spell. Your legs were becoming sore from the dodging and running, you wanted to just let your legs give out and let her take you life. This was torture. Running from your own mother. You had betrayed the Dark Lord, and now you had to pay the consequences.

Over the precious summer you had received your dark mark. You had been avoiding it. Your mother, Bellatrix Lestranged was locked up in Azkaban, or so you thought. Until the day you and Draco had returned to Malfoy manor from Hogwarts hoping to have a good summer. The second you and Draco had gotten out of the car Narcissa had you and him in a hug. A distraught look on her face. "The dark lord is here..." She said looking at the ground. You and Draco's once content faces now covered in confusion and worry, you share glances. "He would like to see you both." She took you and Draco by your hands, gently guiding you to the front doors of the manor. You all walk in frigid silence to the entrance of the study. Your breath had become shallow. You still hadn't seen him but you could feel his presence in the home. Narcissa gave your hands a light squeeze before the doors to the study opened. The Dark Lords disciple ushering you two in, leaving Narcissa in the hallway.

You and Draco stand in the middle of the study, hand in hand. Neither of you dared to say a word. You were looking at the ground, hoping for all of this to be a nightmare. Wanting this to just all go away with a blink of the eye. "My my, Y/n...my blood certainly does live within you." Bellatrix says stepping up to you dragging her wand down your jawline, practically forcing you to look at you. Your breath halts at the touch of her wand. Your eyes meet hers. You didn't dare to utter a word. Draco squeezes your hand. "As so does mine..." The Dark Lord says finally turning around in his chair. Your eyes immediately go back to the ground. "That is why you are both here today. As of today you will be my disciples. My spy's." His breathy dried voice says as he fiddles with his wand. Suddenly Bellatrix roughly grabs your arm and drags you infront of the Dark Lord. Your breath is still. You knew what was about to happen. There was no way you could've possibly prepared for this. There was no way you could've ever denied it. You turn your head to look at Draco who stands still, his eyes were glazed with tears looking back at you. Bellatrix grabs the hem of your sleeve and pulls it up to your elbow. Ripping your attention off Draco back to the lizard like man(?) sitting infront of you.

Without saying a word his wand presses deep into your arm. Within an instant you feel a burning sensation all down your arm. It was enough to make you drop to your knees. Tears started to flow down your face. Your face scrunched at the pain that was being inflicted on you. You tried to pull away out of the grasp of your mother. Only for her to pull harder and squeeze your wrist to the point of bruising. "Please! Let me go!" You cried. "Shut it!" Bellatrix yells cruelly. The sensation that ran through your arm felt like wildfire, as if your blood was poison, disintegrating your veins as it flowed. You let out a scream as the infliction was now at its peak. "Please! Make it stop!" You screamed trying to escape the woman's grasp, only to receive a forceful yank. Your screams filled the room until the pain finally subsided. Leaving your arm feeling as if you had been electrocuted.

Your eyes finally open, with tears streaming you look down at your arm. A sight you never wanted to see, the dark mark laid deep within your skin like a tattoo. Your breath was heavy, you turn to look at Draco, his eyes icy eyes now filled with fear. Bellatrix forces you to stand up so she can examine your arm. "Never refuse the Dark Lord like that again!" She yells into your face. "I'm sorry my lord." You say shakily, not daring to look him in his eyes. "You may go now." He says waving his hand. A strong man grabs you by your arm and takes out of the room shoving you into the hallway. A worried ridden Narcissa practically runs to you and embraces you. Her warm motherly hug induced the tears to flow out of your eyes again. Although Narcissa wasn't your biological mother she was more of a mother Bellatrix could've ever been. She cared for you like her own. You lean into her arms holding your now tattooed arm close to your chest. 'Shhhshhh.' She lightly lets out as you cry softly into her chest. Not a moment later you both hear Draco's cries from the study. You both freeze at the sound. You just tuck your head into Narcissa.

After you had both gotten your dark marks more and more death eaters seemed to fill the house. The fun filled summer that you had dreamed of was now a nightmare. A dark aroma had filled the house. You stayed in your room unless told to come out. The house elves bringing you dinner and always bringing you your mail. The death eaters that filled your home had made you uncomfortable and uneasy. The place you once felt most content and safe was now degraded to the house you merely slept in. Over the summer you and Draco had spent a lot of time together inside your rooms. Bonding over the trauma. You thought of Draco as a brother, and he thought of you as his sister. You two were close, growing up you were the only ones there for each other. And it had been that way until a charming Theodore Nott had gotten close with Draco. Draco had always had his group of friends at Hogwarts but he was different. As he and Draco grew closer he became more friendly to you. He was quite charming and flirty towards you but that's just the way he was. You thought he was like that with everyone till one night when you and Draco were in the common room reading he pointed out that Theo only acted like that towards you. That was in fourth year. After that you had started noticing all the little things he did for you. Walking you to class, carrying your books, plating food for you at dinner. All the little things you never noticed were now seen very clear. You and Theo had grown close as friends seeming to always be together. Over that summer you had wrote each other and at one point he had even asked you to travel to Rome with him. Of course you agreed. On that trip you had shared your first kiss, and since then you had been dating. 'Puppy love' Lucius called it, but you knew it was real.

The feelings that you and Theo shared with each other went way deeper and beyond than what anyone could see. What you two had was something only seen in movies. The unconditional and genuine connection between you two was something many people can only wish for. Time seemed to fly by with him, what felt like minutes would be hours. Just having him by your side was enough for you. Whether it was as a friend or boyfriend. You knew it was nothing short of real. You and Theo both yearned for nothing more than to spend every waking moment together. Never getting tired of each other.

You were now going into your sixth year at Hogwarts although surrounded by people that loved you, you've never felt more alone. Ever since being ridden with the dark mark you and Draco had secluded yourselves from the group. Even Theo. He knew about your new allegiance to the Dark Lord but what he didn't know was that you and Draco had received tasks to complete. While Draco had to fix a vanishing cabinet, you had to place Madam Rosmerta under the Imperius curse. You would then instruct her to place a girl, Katie Bell, under the Imperius curse aswell. Madam Rosmerta would then instruct Katie to take the Opal Necklace to Dumbledore. You knew Katie, she was a sweet Gryffindor she was quite smart and quite on her feet. She played quidditch, and she was in multiple of your classes all throughout your years at Hogwarts. Knowing that you would have to curse her made your heart ache. You never were actually friends with Katie but the gut wrenching thought of cursing her had made you nauseous.You've never used an unforgivable before. Never once. Nor had you ever thought about it. Seeing that Draco was having troubles with the vanishing cabinet you decided to postpone your task for as long as possible.

Your task was all that had been on your mind. The mere thought of doing such a cruel thing had been toying with your mind. If anyone found out how could anyone forgive you? Madam Rosmerta was a mother, she was a figure of welcome to Hogsmeade. Katie was someone's daughter, someone's sister. You can't imagine someone doing such a thing to Narcissa or Draco, so how could you? Those thoughts crowded your mind until the day came that Draco told you he had fixed the cabinet. Those words came crashing down on you like bricks. You knew it was time.

You had snuck into The Three Broomsticks through the back door. You waited until the absolute perfect time when Madam Rosmerta was in the back room grabbing something. You were tucked behind the door with your wand shaking in your hand. "Imperio" you uttered. Madam Rosmerta seemed to pause. Her body was still for a moment, she seemed robotic in a way. She turned around to see you. "Act as you would normally. Pretend you never saw me. Place this is the girls restroom for Katie Bell to find. Place Katie Bell underneath the Imperius curse and instruct her to take the box to Dumbledore. She will act as normal." You whisper looking into the woman's eyes. You hand her a box that was wrapped in a cover. "You will not open the box at any given moment." All she does is nod with her usual warm smile. You had been rehearsing those words for weeks. You swiftly made your way out of the back door. It was done. Your task had been completed. You back up into the cobblestone wall behind you. That same nauseating feeling came back. You couldn't believe what you had just done. Your task was supposed to be the very task that would lead to Dumbledores demise. You felt as if someone had knocked the breath out of you. No amount of words could describe the guilt that you felt at that moment.

You ran back to the castle to inform Draco that your task was done. Once you had got there you practically bursted into Draco's dorm. Your eyes were swelled with tears. He immediately stood from his chair with worry. "I-Draco. I did it." Your voice was small and shaky. He engulfed you in a hug. Draco was rarely ever seen hugging other people or showing any form of affection but with you it was different. He cared for you as if you were his little sister. You sunk into his comfort. "It had to be done Y/n..." he says as he tries to calm you. Your hands your covering your face you tucked into Draco. "What had to be done?" A familiar deep voice said from the doorway. You immediately turn around to see Theo standing with a worried expression. Your eyes were filled with tears and your face was blotched pink. Draco rests a reassuring hand on your arm, "It's nothing Nott." He says shortly. "No, It's not just nothing Draco. Y/n, what's wrong?" He says as he finally comes into the dorm room to talk to you. "Theo it doesn't concern you..." Draco says once again speaking for you.

Your eyes were trained on the ground, you couldn't bare to look Theo in the eyes after what you had done. "It concerns me if Y/n is standing here crying and not speaking! She's obviously shaken up." He says lightly raising his voice at Draco. "Y/n, talk to me, what's wrong?" Theo says gently grabbing your hands. His eyes glancing all around your face trying to read the situation. You knew you couldn't tell him. Even though Theo's father was a death eater the Dark Lord made it very clear that no one could know about you and Draco's tasks. You didn't even know how Theo would react to the fact that you had not only Imperiused one but two people. Your breath was trembling and so were your hands. Your eyes were looking everywhere else but at Theo, his eyes were doing the very opposite. "I-" You were about to speak but the words were caught on your tongue. No matter how badly you wanted to tell Theo you knew you couldn't. Telling him would only put him in danger. "I can't tell you...I'm sorry.." You say taking your hands out of Theo's grasp and quickly walking out of Draco's dorm.

You practically ran back down the halls to get to your dorm. Theo followed quickly behind. You had barely gotten into your dorm with Theo just seconds late. You closed the door quickly. You couldn't face him. The guilt you bared was too much. He banged on the door. "Y/n! Please just talk to me baby, I'm worried." He yelled from the other side. Your back faced the door and you slid down it. "Theo just go away." You said trying to fight off the burning sensation in your throat. "Y/n I'm not leaving till you talk to me. We've barely spoken in weeks. Please baby I'll fix whatever I did." He said pleadingly. "Theo it's not you. I just. It's just something I can't talk to you about, okay? It's for your own good that you stay as far away from this as possible." You cried. A sudden silence comes from Theo's side. "Is this about him?" His voice now serious. You immediately knew who Theo meant by 'him'. You stayed silent, you buried your face into your hands. "Y/n...Whatever this is. I need to know. Please just talk to me." He says trying the doorknob one more time. You take a deep breath and stand up.

You slowly open the door, Theo comes in and wraps his arms around your waist placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Now tell me what's wrong." He said walking to your bed and sitting down. You close the door and sit next to him. "Theo I can't tell you...I swore..." You voice breaks. His hand lays on your knee. "Y/n I already told you that I'm not leaving with you telling me." He says bluntly. "Theo I can't...you don't understand. I wish I could! I-" You instantly get cut off when Pansy enters your room.

"Y/n, you'll never guess what just happened to Katie Bell!" Pansy says frantically as she walks in. You froze. Your face completely drops hearing her name. What happened? What could've went wrong? Did she touch the necklace? Did it ever get to Dumbledore? Your mind is flooded as you just stare into nothing. Tears streaming down your face. "I-I-" Pansy just stands at the door utterly confused on the sight infront of her. "Pansy...You should go..." Theo says walking up to the door and slightly guides her out. "Y/n. Does this have to do with Katie?" Your eyes shot from where they were up to him. Hearing her name made you feel disgusted with yourself. Your mouth just fell agape trying to form words. "What happened to Katie?" "I...I don't know." Nothing should've happened to Katie. She should've just delivered the necklace to Dumbledore and that should've been it. If something happened to Katie then that meant your task wasn't fulfilled. "My task." You whisper, thinking aloud. "What task, Y/n? What did he tell you to do?!" He finally sits back down next to you. "He...I..I had to Imperio Madam Rosmerta and Katie..." You whisper. He fell silent. "What..." "Nothing was supposed to happen to Katie! I swear! I don't know what happened! I- She was supposed to give the necklace to Dumbledore!" Your head falls into your hands. "Y/n...are you talking about the opal necklace?" You just leaned into him hugging him, he reciprocated. "Y/n I need you to calm down so you can tell me what exactly happened." He says softly.

After about 10 minutes you had finally calmed down. Over those ten minutes you still hadn't fully built up the confidence to tell Theo exactly what you did. It didn't matter regardless because he was patient with you. Ofcourse he ended up comforting you, telling you there was no other choice. It was either you or her. You still hadn't figured out that Katie had been taken to St. Mungos. So the overwhelming guilt still hung over your head taunting you. Theo stayed with you for the rest of the day. You were filled with worry. Your task wasn't complete. But that wasn't the reason you were in the predicament you were in.

"Luna!" You shouted as you saw her fighting off two Death Eaters. Many people didn't like Luna because they thought she was weird and quite out of it. But you saw past that. She had such a kind soul. She was that one person that you knew would never judge you for anything. You two were friends you couldn't just stand back and let her die. "Expelliarmus!" You knocked one of the Death Eaters wands out of their hand. He immediately turned around. "Levioso!" You had picks up the man and slammed him into the wall. He was knocked out. You immediately run to Luna who was still fighting the Death Eater. He was firing unforgivable curses at her like it was nothing. "Bombarda!" The man was bombarded into the stone wall. "Luna are you okay?" You rushed to her. "Yes, I'm quite fine actually. Thank you." She said with her usual contentment but slightly out of breath. "Cmon we gotta go before they wake up." Although the men were knocked out it wouldn't be long before someone found them and woke them up. You and Luna run down the corridors trying to find someone to group with. That's when you saw it. Bellatrix was practically terrorizing a group of younger students who were hiding. She was yelling at them firing spells trying to get them to tell her where Harry Potter was. Why would they know? She knew they didn't know. She just wanted to traumatize as many students as she could. You weren't thinking. These were just kids? "Expelliarmus!" You casted at Bellatrix. She spun around like a mad woman. When she saw you with Luna behind you her face told you everything you needed to know. She was going to kill you.

You fired a couple offensive spells at her before taking off running. You were trying to lead her as far away from the 1st and 2nd years as possible. You left Luna with the kids, you knew they were in good hands.

All while you were running for your life Theo was running to find you. You had left him to go find Draco but obviously that never happened. He had got to Draco but now he needed to find you. You were his only concern. "Y/n!" He shouted as he looked for you.

"Y/n! You little slimy brat! You're a disgrace to the bloodline!" She yelled. "CRUCIO!" That's when it hit you. Your now limp body fell to the ground. Within a second every single nerve in your body was being tortured. Knives were being pierced into every inch of your skin. A blood curdling scream being let out from your throat. You felt fire in your veins. The woman cackled at the sight. You've never felt such pain in your life. "Please! Stop!" Your voice cracking. Your face contorted with the pain. The torturous stabbing didn't stop. You were loosing your breath. The white hot knives consumed every cell in your body. Your screams echoed and bounced off the walls of the corridor. She kneeled down next to your face. "It's what you deserve." She spat and stood. "Sectumsempra!" The woman yelled as she slashed her wand at you. The piercing stopped but was replaced with what felt like millions of tiny knives cutting into your skin. This time you actually bled.

Your screams continued as the woman looked down at you grimacing. You wanted to grab your wand and kill the woman. Your wand laid multiple feet from you, no matter how much you wanted to grab it you couldn't. Your body was limp as if someone tranquilized you. The woman smiled at you and began to walk away. "You were never a mother to me. You're gonna die today and after that you're going to rot." You managed to let out. She turned on her heels. "Oh no dear...only one of us is going to die today, and it's not gonna be me." She laughed. The echoes of someone calling your name had caught your attention. You saw him come around the corner, but only for a second before you blacked out.

♫

"Y/n, Y/n, baby, please, please, please. Wake up." A small shaky voice above you said. You felt tears dropping onto your face. Your eyes waveringly opened. Your vision was blurry, unable to focus. Your entirely limp body was in the hands of Theo. One of his arms around your back, his other hand was on your face. Draco stood behind him. His face covered in grief. You could've sworn this was a hallucination. Your hand lifted off the ground to touch his face. The connection made it real. You couldn't feel your body. Theo's eyes were glazing and an indescribable look rested deep within. "Y/n..." His shaky voice was laced with relief. Your eyes wondered down to your own body.

The once unstained white cotton shirt that fitted your body was washed red. A pool of wine colored liquid flooded the cold stone ground beneath you. You were choking on the air that filled your lungs. "Th..Theo" Your eyes let down a stream. "Please make it stop." Your voice croaked. An overwhelming amount of fear washed over your body. You've never thought about how you would die. You always thought after Hogwarts you would go on to bigger things with Theo. You always imagined getting married being a classic bride. A big white lacy dress with flowers and a veil. Walking down the aisle watching Theo shed a few tears with Lucius walking you down the aisle. After that you would've moved into Nott Manor. A few years later you would bare children. Every night you would tuck them in and read them stories. You would watch your kids grow up and one day send them off to Hogwarts to carry on the legacy. Watching them grow and prosper as young witches and wizards. After they run off and get married you and Theo would've moved to Italy together. To a home that overlooked the ocean side. Having a candlelit dinner together every night. You two would've grown old together in peace. Every dream of yours was now ripped away out of your grasp by no other than your own mother.

You had just been staring up at Theo. Your ears finally stopped ringing and you got pulled back into reality. He was now fully crying over you. You looked past Theo to see Draco who was sitting on the ground leaning his head against the wall. His once pale skin was now covered in blotches of red. His white button down was covered in your blood. "Draco..." Your small breathy voice whispered. All of his attention immediately went to you. Within a second he was beside Theo looking down at you. Cold tears that covered their eyes dripping down on to you. "Y/n don't go, please. You're the only sister i've ever had. Please" His voice sounded shattered. He held your hand tightly as if you were hanging on a cliff, his grasp being the only thing keeping you from falling. "I...I love you both, more than anything. Please don't ever forget that." You were slowly losing your breath. Your body held onto whatever air you could let it.

You were beginning to feel that cold sensation that everyone always talked about feeling before dying. Cloudiness filled your head you couldn't even form a coherent thought. Your eyes fluttered up at the both of them. "I love you both more than you would ever know." You felt your body getting weaker by the second. The pool beneath you only growing. You felt a liquid creep up your throat. You tasted the metallic. You wanted to speak. You wanted to tell them how much you loved them, and how you never wanted for this to happen. You wanted to take all your wrongs back. At first it came thick the metal tasting liquid swirled your tongue. Your breath was completely lost. No matter how hard your lungs fought for air the liquid just continued to fill them. The blood trickled down your lips. You took your last jagged breath. Draco’s grip on your hand tightened at the sight. Theo tucked his lips between his teeth. Your vision went completely blurry before going black. The hand that was being held by Draco going lifeless. Your life had slipped away from their grasp. “Y/n….” Theo’s voice croaked. His hand brushed through your hair. He knew it was coming and that it was inevitable. By the time they got to you there was no way to reverse it.

Your eyes that once held a sparkling looking now faded and blank. He sobbed as he watched the light fade away from your eyes. Your fragile cold body laid in his arms. He rested his head down onto your blood ridden chest. His mind was flooded with the soft memories of you. He couldn’t stand the thought of having to live the rest of his life without you. His mind recalled every second he spent with you. All the regrets he had filled his body. All the times he got mad at you or shunned you after a fight. All he wanted to do was to take those things back. He wanted to apologize and plead for your forgiveness. He wanted to tell you he loved you more than the world. He had told you that he would protect you with his life. He had failed. His body yearned for your warm touch, your smile, your soft voice that always told him how loved he was. After all the grief of losing his mother you were his cure. You were his escape from all the pain. The countless nights he cried into your chest, just as he did now. Except this time you weren’t hugging him. Or telling him that it’s okay. This time you couldn’t usher him with your soft words. He sobbed uncontrollably into your cold chest. No matter how much he wanted to stop he couldn’t.

Draco stared down at your cold eyes with an unseeing gaze. His hand still held your unresponsive one. You were his sister unbiological or not. All the anguish you experienced together is was held you two together. You were what helped him keep going all throughout his trauma. The loss of you played with his heart. His soul felt an immense lonely feeling. He lost himself along with you. You were his light in the darkness. You weren’t blood but your unwavering love and loyalty to him is what made you family. He closed his eyes as hard as he could hoping to wake up. Hoping to wake up in his bed to forget this. Wishing it was all just a cruel nightmare. So he could go walk to your dorm and give you a hug. He wanted nothing more than to speak to you one last time. To joke around and laugh together again. To sit in the common room and read together. To listen to you talk and ramble on about your date with Theo and how it went. The loss of you to him was losing a piece of his own life.

You had slipped away and took a piece of their souls with you.

==============

Hope you liked this piece. <3

146 notes · View notes

violentnewmarley · 9 months

Text

“It’s always been you”

Bill Kaulitz (2009) x fem!reader <3 (Fluff)

I’m not a real writer and my grammar is bad so ignore that please (didn’t proofread lol) 😙 also I wasn’t super sure if this is a fluff or angst oh well 🤷🏻‍♀️

• When you and Bill go to a club a few things happen that may lead to you becoming more than just friends… 😝

You and Bill kaulitz had been “just friends” for a while, both knowing you wanted more but neither of you making a first move. this dynamic made situations awkward at times, both of you would do small things in attempt to make eachother jealous, but this time bill had had enough…😟

You and bill decided to go clubbing, there was nothing better to do, plus all the party’s on tour had been boring so why not go out for the night.

you dont know how or when it had happend but eventually you and bill ended up splitting apart to do your own things, you had already looked around a bit unsucsessful to find him. so You make your way to the dance floor, hoping to spot bill.

Finally you Find bill, He was giggling with some random girl, faces only a few inches apart with his arm rested agaist the wall. "what the fuck." You thought to yourself- why would he be flirting with another girl? sure you were ¨just friends¨ but Bill literally brought you there.

Without thinking you grab the hand of the nearest guy, dancing with him suggestively. You turn to look back at Bill, hoping to had made him jealous. you meet his gaze from across the dance floor, his stare disclosed jealousy, clearly not even trying to hide it.

You send him a smirk (HELP IDK💀) as you contined dancing with the man for a few more songs, actively looking back over at bill to make sure he didnt get to comfortable with anyone else. But at some point you lost track of where he was and got tired of dancing, deciding to go and get a drink at the bar intstead.

on your way to the bar you see none other than bill, laughing with now two other girls. (Damn😓) all you wanted was for this night to be over, you were so tired of putting all of your energy into someone who couldn’t care less.

You strut your way over to him, cutting off the conversation he was engaged in.

¨Bill i want to go back to the hotel¨

He turns around to face you, rolling his eyes (think passive aggressive🥰) ¨why don’t ask you ask that other guy?¨

¨can you not do this here please? i just want to go home.¨

¨fine.¨

The car ride back to the hotel was painfully silent. You felt bad for dancing with that guy. Bill was flirting with other girls sure, but could you really be upset at him? its not like hes your boyfriend.

After what felt like forever you finaly got back to the hotel. Bill decided to go to gustavs room to get away from you. Without Bill there didn’t seem like much to do. So you took a shower to clean up, followed by going on the balcony to think and smoke a cigarette.

your thoughts get interupted by knocks on the door

¨come in¨

You weren’t sure if you wanted it to be Bill or not- but of course it was. His eye makeup seemed to be smudged as if he had been crying- still looking undeniably gorgeous though.

he slides open the screen door, standing in front of you and placing his hand on the railing beside you. You could feel the tension as Bill looked down at you, so you kept your head down to avoid eye contact.

¨y/n im sorry... i dont know why i was flirting with those girls- i guess i just wanted to make you jealous or something.¨

¨why would you want to make me jealous Bill?¨ you knew the answer, but you wanted to hear him say it, plus- you didn’t think he had the balls to really do.

¨because...¨ you could hear the hestation in his voice. you finally pick up your head, no longer staring down at the cement. his face was slowly iching closer to yours with each word he spoke. ¨because im in love with you.¨

¨its always been you y/n, i knew it was since the first moment i laid my eyes on you.¨

You and Bill had both wasted so much time leading to this moment, but you didn’t want to waste anymore. your hands met his jaw, and you took a second looking into his soft brown eyes asking for permission, earning a nod in response.

you take a deep breath and kiss him gently, Bills lips were soft and tender. his kiss made you feel complete, unlike any other one before.

Bill quickly takes control by deepening the kiss and wrapping his hand around your waist, the other still rested on the railing.

¨i love you Bill¨ you mumble, you can feel him smirking at your words. He pulls from the kiss, bringing his lips down to your ear, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine.

¨should we take this inside?¨

•

Part 2??!…

y’all I’m sorry if this is cringe wtv… the part 2 would be a smut so lmk if you would like one😝 and ty to lo for helping me out with ideas and stuff again luv u babes 🥰 <333

💟 @fishinaband @nyxwritesshit @bbvoxstar @mikalame

321 notes · View notes

galedekarios · 6 months

Note

Idk if you’ve been asked before but what are your thoughts on EARLY early access Gale? The Gale that has bandages on his arm in some early promotional art? There’s an old Auntie Ethel vicious mockery line for him: “I can smell what’s under those bandages wizard! You’re all rot and ruin.” I always wondered if the orb was originally going to have nastier side effects. Like it was making Gale fall apart slowly OR maybe Gale was trying to become a Lich to better handle the orb before being abducted by the mind flayers so he’s in this half alive and undead state when Tav meets him. I feel like that last one would explain the necrotic damage he emits when he dies better. Anyways those are just two tiny details that I roll around in my mind from time to time. I might be thinking too deeply about it. Maybe the writers just wanted to figure out a way to show how much the orb was hurting Gale and the bandages were a start but for some reason they decided against it.

i loved early access gale. there were a lot of uncharitable reads / bad faith takes about him back then, ranging from him being the secret bbeg, the ultimate and guaranteed betrayer, the absolute, to being myrkul because he had a triangles on the robe he was wearing (no, i'm not joking), etc etc etc.

personally, i always loved his character, though, and found him the most interesting and intriguing out of the companions.

overall, i think that he's not that much changed - however, as with all companions and a lot of the npcs, some things have been whittled down or away entirely by larian due things like fandom feedback, but that's a discussion for another time.

i don't subscribe to the lich idea myself, because i think that's not something that gale would want for himself for a multitude of reasons. having said that, however, i always enjoyed this theory:

so, early access gale had this key art, which is still one of my favourites:

left hand wrapped in bandages, the almost stone-like texture of what little you can see of his skin.

adding to that, as you also mentioned, ethel had these vicious mockery lines for gale:

Auntie Ethel: I can smell what's under those bandages, wizard. You're all rot and ruin.

and

Auntie Ethel: Come to greet death early? You'll be a lovely spectacle.

to add to this, this was the way gale talked about the orb and what he thought it was, as well as karsus:

Player: I was wondering about that “mighty lord” you told me about in your story. Gale: Ah, yes. Karsus Karsus was perhaps the most powerful wizard that ever lived. The child-who-would-be-a-god, the elves called him. And he tried. With a spell of his own devising he endeavoured to usurp in one fell swoop the power of the goddess of magic. Mystryl, she was called then. Imagine what it must have felt like. To be a god. To know yourself to be untouchable. To be mistaken. As Karsus aimed his spell at her she began to unravel, and with her, the entire Weave. Too late did he realize what he had unleashed. It would have been the end of everything had not Mystryl sacrificed herself. Gale: The goddess of magic is all magic. By dying, the entire weave was lost, and the spell that challenged a god failed. It was the end of Mystryl, the end of Karsus, and the end of an entire civilization. As the child-who-would-be-a-god was turned to stone, his empire came crashing down around him. The floating cities of Netheril were no more. An event that came to be known as Karsus' folly. Player: So at that moment in time, all magic was gone? Gale: For a spell. Mystyl was reborn as Mystra. Upon her return, the Weave returned with her. Gale: Now, so many centuries later, I tried to follow in the footsteps of Karsus, not to destroy Mystra, but to prove my love for her. I tried to control only a fraction of the magic that was unleashed that fateful day. I merely sought to return one tiny diamond to an imperfect crown. Gale's Folly one might call it. History. Repetition. It's the way things go.

some of this is still in the game.

more lore about karsus's folly:

Unfortunately, his choice was a terrible mistake, for one of the responsibilities of the deity of magic was to regulate the flow of magic to and from all beings, spells, and magic items in the world. Lacking the ability to do so properly, magic surged and fluctuated. With her last remaining bit of power, Mystryl sacrificed herself to block Karsus's access to the Weave, causing all magic to fail. The flying cities of Netheril plummeted to the earth. The severing of the link also killed Karsus and transformed him into stone, and the last thing he saw was his entire civilization being destroyed because of his actions. This was to be known as Karsus's Folly. The stone form of Karsus eventually landed in a part of the High Forest, now called the Dire Wood.[8] The city of Karse was built around its base. Karsus was never accepted as a petitioner by any god, nor did he go to the Fugue Plane when he died. Instead, his soul was bound to the Material Plane. Those with experience in pact magic could call up his vestige, where he appeared as a giant blood-red boulder,[5] like the one found in the High Forest where his petrified form landed.[8] Blood burbles up from the top of the stone, trickling down the side facing the summoner, pooling at the base. [x]

there are also lines of gale referring to this corruption he carries within as a "taint" and a "shadow", corrupting him "within", affecting his blood as well (another thing that carried over to release).

i think what might have been originally planned (and again, some of this did carry over) is that the orb not only affected gale's magic, but also his body even more severely (it still does to an extent in the release version even though this part is very, very sadly almost entirely glossed over).

putting all of this together, i think that by absorbing a part of that magic unleashed on the day of karsus's folly - the failed magic, the severing of it, karsus turning into stone, petrifying him - might have affected gale in a similar, albeit weaker fashion.

"history. repetition. it's the way things go."

karsus's folly.

gale's folly.

perhaps as the game continued this petrification might have spread, from his hand, up his arm, to his shoulder, and on, either by leaning onto the darker aspects, or by the treatment failing (the consumption of powerful pieces of weave).

maybe that concept was then turned from petrification, to a sort of corruption/rotting that ethel referred to in her lines.

either way, it would have been interesting to see, for sure.

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #ch: gale dekarios #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #meta: mybg3

158 notes · View notes

andypantsx3 · 7 months

Text

copying this into its own orig post & deleting the other so i can turn off reblogs to be safe

it's time to whip this bad boy back out.

apologies for momentarily disrupting the funsies vibes i like to maintain on this blog. i will ask that no one reblog this because i don't want to get into anything big and idk how this take will go over. but i am feeling slightly disillusioned with some of the x reader writer culture on tumblr as of late!!

i understand we are all playing in the same sandbox and it's inevitable that we're going to want to play with the same ideas, and we absolutely should be able to because that's how tropes become known and loved and spread and that's just like, how culture works overall.

but one thing that is really getting to me is the growing number of plagiarism & "paraplagiarist" incidents i'm seeing. (fyi i'm not talking about me here, luckily nothing has happened to me personally as of late).

like flagrant plagiarism is bad enough and i hate how often we are seeing it these days. but what i think of as "paraplagiarism" also really grinds my gears. it's where people take the same ideas and don't just put their own spin on it with a nod to the original author, but like, replicate most or all of the fic with minor rephrasings such that it is technically different but eerily similar. and then don't even credit the original author!!

(and i don't just mean like one or two lines or whatever because i know we all get inspired at the line-level as well. but when it's prevalent in large, obvious chunks or interspersed consistently throughout the fic idk it just feels different, you know??)

i think that goes beyond just being "inspired" by something and really toes the line into behavior that i'm uncomfy with.

idk if it's just like, well-intentioned people who are unfamiliar with the appropriate boundaries of storytelling or if it's some sort of deliberate behavior. but either way i hate seeing how discouraging it is to the fic authors i know and love who worked hard on their stuff.

and i don't understand how or why it is satisfying for the people who do it because they must know on some level that's not their work. not at the piece's core, anyway.

i just wonder why it's so prevalent and why people do it!! and idk if anyone else is as fussed by this as i am but it really makes me wanna slink off and disappear out of the community sometimes.

i just wish we as a community would be more intentional about crediting the people who helped or inspired us. because it literally costs nothing, not even your pride. and i wish we would be more intentional about telling our own stories in our own voice instead of trying to replicate what other people are doing.

idk!! just feeling some type of way today i guess!! please ignore me if this doesn't resonate with your own experience, i just needed to vent!! inevitably any opinion will ruffle feathers but i'm not trying to invite discourse onto the blog. just trying to work out my feelings, i guess!

#i have no idea if this an oversensitive take or what #but i feel like some ppl have had this experience too #idk #idk guys!!!!

73 notes · View notes

ronearoundblindly · 22 days

Note

Routine and Not yet for Hideout or Fools Rush In Steve :)

Love this mini series/ask thing you got going on. I ADORE the way you write Steve.

Oh. OH. THIS might break me. Oh daaaammmmnnn. But...but...AT WHAT POINT IN TIME ARE WE TALKING ABOUT???

*crisis*

[Younglings, you poor things, I promise to write something for you soon, but this too is MINORS DNI. The prompt is from this dirty ask game.]

Ya know, I think the two Steebs actually have a lot in common (although Fools is way in the future after his Nomad era) when it comes to being deprived of time with his partner--Nomad because he's still a fugitive, and Sketch after he was 'dead' and gone for three months--so maybe they develop similarly? Fools Rush In Steve, however, has been with Keeps for years by then, while Hideout Steve has barely begun to really get to know Tops.

R - Routine

No matter how I think about it, Hideout Steve can't really have a routine. He just has to make due with the random times he's around with reader at the motel. He can't really plan that, and it becomes more dangerous the more he tries to plan because it's somewhere where someone else (people looking for him) would know he'd be. He can't make promises. I think it eats him up inside, but he can't.

Now! Also no matter how I think it through, Sketch would likely only schedule sex to either avoid or take advantage of your cycle. Like if you're trying for kids, then yeah, he'll use all the basal temperature and ovulation monitoring apps in the fucking world. You can wear the stupid watch thing and just point at him when it's time or something. For sure. He can work like that. When duty calls, right?

Not on birth control for a while but not looking to get pregnant? Yeah, he can wait. F.R.I. Steve has just unbelievable control in that department, aided in no small part by immense guilt for how long it took him to come out of his shell and be physically open with you.

He has his spontaneous moments--more and more the longer you two are together,--but he still gets stuck in his head a lot.

N - Not Yet

I don't see Steve Rogers from any universe ever telling his partner not to touch themselves for a certain amount of time or under any circumstance. That just seems cruel, and he wouldn't do it. At very least, it would be for no longer than the time it takes him to set something up, like lighting candles or drawing a bath or setting up a sex swing, idk, just not long.

Steve's the type of man who would tell you to let him know every time you want to touch yourself or do touch yourself. That is...really great for him. He would also turn beet red at how frequently you let him know that, but he ain't gonna stop ya.

Hideout Steve--it's no secret--he needs to work on his own orgasm control. He's really overwhelmed very quickly, and the battle is sorta half-come-as-much-as-possible until his tolerance for stimulation tapers off and half-train-him/himself-by-edging.

All I know is a frustrated Steeb is a sexy Steeb, people.

If you don't believe me, welp, too fucking bad, I'm the writer. 😏

FRI Steve would need a lot of direction in terms of what the point of orgasm delay or orgasm denial is. In his mind...just why?? It's not as if it doesn't take a decent amount of time to get you both to your ends? It's not like he skips over foreplay? Why then would you be a jerk about or prolong a perfectly good love-making? (If you don't know this, Sketch is still very limited in his dirty vocabulary. His actions have evolved exponentially, but under zero circumstances--not even torture--will that man ever refer to your, or anyone else's, genitalia as a 'pussy.' I have pitched a tent near a stream on that hill; I am not leaving unless in a coffin.)

We have established, I believe, in both universes, that Steve Rogers enjoys begging in the bedroom. Very much. He doesn't overdue it. He's not mean about getting it from you. He just doesn't mind begging for himself and certainly doesn't mind hearing you beg.

The end. No delays lol.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

A/N: Okay, good news: I didn't die inside as much as I thought I would. Hope you still like it though!

#ro answers #dirty asks #ask game #fools rush in series #hideout series #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader smut #nomad steve #captain america fanfiction #captain america x reader #captain america imagine #steve rogers x you

23 notes · View notes

raayllum · 9 months

Note

I'm torn with Claudia. The humane part of me wants her to stop walking her dark path before she destroys herself completely and find some measure of peace. The fucked-up part of me wants to watch her to lose it and go on the warpath and cause lots of chaos. Is that last one wrong to hope for?

Not at all! I do think we'll see her warpath arc next season, since as Ezran stated/foreshadowed

We all want peace and we all want love. But violence tests us. In a twisted way, it converts us to its cause. Because pain and loss feel so terrible inside, you want to hate. You want to hurt someone else.

Given that Rayla cut off her leg and the trio cost her the chance to save her father's life (since if/when Viren survives, I don't think Claudia will know for a while), I think she'll start chasing Revenge. (Which may lead to even more fracturing with Terry, as "I always believed in you because you had a reason" but we shall see...) And then maybe Soren and Viren will work together to try and bring her home, but maybe only in s7 - so who knows?

But yeah, I don't think ever wanting characters to go through "negative character development" or "fail" means we don't like them or don't understand/sympathize with them. Too often, I think, fandoms can have a tendency to moralize, well, everything, but in this case the choices writers make regarding their favourite characters, i.e. "This Bad Thing happened to Character A so therefore the writers hate them / are punishing them."

And don't get me wrong, I've definitely seen shows where a writing team just did not know what to do with a character, so they just heaped tons of pain on them and/or under utilized them, and who is shown on screen with discussed/processed trauma vs who isn't is definitely a discussion worth having, because none of that exists in an apolitical or aracial space.

However... by no means is the "punishing" angle what's happening all the time, either. What I think it comes from is like, some base assumptions and also a lack of literary understanding for some key aspects I'm gonna do my best at articulating clearly:

1) Operating under an assumption that if you like a character you should only want 'good' things for them, and for them to be a 'good' person, because you are also a 'good' person. This doesn't seem super moralized on the surface, but it explains a lot about "how could anyone like that villain" or offense to "how could anyone want that character to fail" and it's like, idk how to explain that failure and therefore conflict and tragic figures are Just Interesting, Brenda, even if they aren't your personal cup of tea. (I say, as a diehard Macbeth and literary Judas enjoyer lmao.)

2) Ignores catharsis and tragedy as elements of storytelling / as its own desirable genre. Sometimes, you want to watch a thing where you know the whole time everything is going to go horribly wrong for certain characters, or all the characters, and that's what's fun about it. The desirable outcome for every story or character is not a happy ending, nor are all characters or stories built for a happy ending, either. It can be upsetting, of course, when a character we like doesn't get the (happy) ending we hoped for, but that isn't necessarily always the same as a bad ending, y'know? Substantially bad things happening to a character doesn't always mean a narrative hates them; a focus on them is still a focus.

All of this to say: I don't think it's wrong at all to want, or be interested in, Terrible Things happening to a character. It's a thought experiment like any other, and pushing characters to their limits, revealing how they respond under intense or painful experiences - whether than pain is physical, emotional, or something else entirely - is fun and interesting. There's a reason there's are entire genres for Horror and Drama and tearjerker films after all.

Like I've been waiting and wanting for Claudia to snap and become a fully fledged villain since S2 because it was very clear to me just how much she was already Skewed in S1 and S2 made it clear to me that, unlike her brother, she would not be getting on a better path any time soon. Sometimes mess and hurt and mistakes is more interesting than healing, and sometimes it's the opposite (and those things aren't mutually exclusive either).

Like going into S6, I want everyone to Fail so badly (except, arguably, Claudia - who still isn't going to be getting what she actually Needs - and Aaravos, who's going to get exactly what he wants). Watching how characters and their relationships can fall apart, how their own consistent flaws and patterns, can lead them to make awful but understandable mistakes? That's my shit. And getting to see how they do, or don't, come back from that in the season, and in season 7? Chomping at the bit, I'm so excited.

I also don't think that hoping for another end, though, is worse than being excited for a tragic end, because while tragedies are about sadness, they are also - at their core - about Hope that maybe it won't end badly this time. If a tragedy cannot provide catharsis to a viewer, for some reason, then they are still fulfilling their purpose in nurturing hope and indignation in the face of perceived unfairness - that a character could try so hard and still be doomed; that we ourselves often take on tasks that feel insurmountable, that we can take on what looks like a losing battle and still, somehow, win. And maybe we don't - maybe they don't. But tragedies, if nothing else, teach us resilience and the merit of telling a story when you already know how it ends, and the skill of it lies therefore entirely in the execution (sometimes literally).

Basically: hope for whatever you want for whatever character you want, even, or especially, when it's 'bad'. It's what we've always done for a reason.

#thanks for asking #tdp claudia #the english major strikes again #lordjarman #tragedy enjoyer #tdp #the dragon prince

66 notes · View notes

lovingmattysposts · 2 months

Note

Listen. If you wanna make the decision to make your next fic Matt X OC!fem reader. As your next fanfiction.

Though clearly your polls say people prefer Y/N & all the angry & down right scared people are to see you their favorite author, join a sub group (OC writers), that they don’t subscribe to.

Autumn? Have you imagined that your stories are bigger than YOU? It’s odd to think about because Christ your the author, right? Your the person who owns your account, correct?

I’m my opinion. to a girl reading for example YDKM. Y/N is/was in self harm. To ANYONE regardless is of age, it helps to see thing’s written you can heavily relate to.

Me included it’s to weird & awkward reading about Matt moaning a random girls name. It just feels wrong in my brain.

Or Chris kisses Self harm scars, people who your stories SAVE their nights, their moods, hell what about people who read your stories instead of Self harming aka you saving their lives.

You may be taking away from those girls who just don’t feel good hearing Chris kiss idk a random name like “grace” scars, it may add to that feeling that it will never be them to HAVE ANYONE love them like that. Because it’s not, Y/N & the person on Tumblr will struggle to hear Chris who is the object of their escape cuz they would be choosing to read either a Matt or a Chris fanfiction & that’s reading for escape.

I’m a Chris girl… & I guess YDKM was the last work you’ll write with Y/N used. It saved me a lot it helped when I was in bad depression this winter. At times I wanted to relapse in self harm & i just re read Chris & Y/N relationship in YDKM.

I know you’ve gotten a lot of hate on the OC aspect of where you take your writing style & your account from here on out…. I thought before you made permanent changes you’d be grateful to likely hear a hot take on changing, Y/N to OC that you haven’t heard before.

The only further compromise I can help you out with, is 2 weeks or so before you actually start a new work or a new writing process. Make MULTIPLE POLLS over a 4-5 DAY PERIOD.

If on day 1-3 Y/N wins & days 4-5 OC wins. That way we have say so….. idk I’m part of that people honestly scared to see you change your account because it’s a safe place people like me may loose forever :/

- well wishes Anon..

wow okay

first and foremost—— I am so happy to hear that my stories helped you so much in a personal way and if you ever need someone to talk to my DMs are always open.

I didn’t realize how much of an effect it would have on people from me changing from y/n to OC. I see you point throughly, but I feel like at the end of the day it’s just a name

You guys tell me all the time that my stories could be actual books and actually authors (I am not claiming to be one pls don’t send hate) don’t use y/n they use actual names and I thought it would make more since to use a name rather than y/n, because with longer stories it can become annoying to write. When reading does it make you less attached to the characters or relate because she has a name?

But as much backlash that this has caused me I think I’ll just keep Y/n because I want you guys to love the story and not hate the fact that I’m using a real name.

I didn’t realize how attached you guys were to y/n I just want to give you the best quality stories as possible. I don’t wanna let you guys down

autumn🧡

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo x reader

41 notes · View notes

yuebings · 3 months

Text

fic writer meme

thank u @fruitdaze @uhuraisgay @cairoscene @englishsub for tagging me!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

44 currently! double 4s? during MY lunar new year? i gotta change that up quick

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

315,042 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

my most written-for fandom is mdzs, but i don't really write for it anymore...if you look at my ao3 profile u can kinda tell i'm a sporadic one-and-done type when it comes to fic hehe no one can predict where i'll go next. my latest fandom is jujutsu kaisen!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

so you've been robbed by a musuem

the stone-filled sea

the family-dodging bathroom-dwellers association

and his wanting grows teeth

diving blind

it's like a wangxian sweep except for the last sambucky lol

5. Do you respond to comments?

i am trying to get better at that! sometimes i don't have the energy to go through and respond to every single one but trust me when i say that seeing the wonderful comments people leave truly makes my day

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

tbh i don't think i've ever written straight-up angsty endings (or at least the way i see straight up angst). every 'bad' ending has a ray of hope in it, or at least an acceptance that like...yes, this is the way it was meant to be, and to reject the outcome would be to reject everything that came before it. sometimes things were meant to go to shit. there was no other way to go. we were doomed but at least we loved each other. i will suffer but at least i can remember you. so on so forth.

with all that said, it's a toss up between the longest journey (di feijing & lei chun), or all things in pain (wen ning character study). 'angsty' endings, if only in the way i described above

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

a lot of my happy endings aren't super-sweet happy endings per se, but rather a promise or hope that things will get better. idk what that says about me lol like maybe i have more interest in the "how to become happy" part than the actual happiness itself...? but ANYWAY i'd say the sappiest ending is i have is uhhhh feel like a brand new person (msr take edibles together) because 1) their mutual attraction is finally acknowledged 2) they're making out 3) they're high as balls. what's better than this

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not any time recently! i've rarely had negative comments before and all of them have been of such a ridiculous nature that my only response was like "lmfao ok"

9. Do you write smut?

nope! not yet, at least. maybe some time in the future i'll feel like it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written?

haven't written any, don't really read them either! i keep my blorbos locked up in their separate cages. siloed.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes! kind of. if this counts, a couple years ago someone on wattpad stole over 100 wangxian fics (including mine) from ao3 and reposted them onto their own account without credit. we got their account taken down tho so all is well...but this is why i say in my ao3 profile that i do not allow reposts. please tell me if u ever see my work reposted anywhere........

i've also come across a fic in a diff fandom that was VERY clearly "inspired" by one of mine (lifting certain scenes and lines beat for beat) and gave no credit. so there's that as well.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! it's always an honor when someone wants to translate my work :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope! my creative process is so erratic that i feel like i'd be a nightmare to co-write with, so this is probably for the better

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

this is a hard question to answer. i don't have an ultimate favorite that always stays at the top of the pile, cuz my interests change all the time! right now i'm really enjoying platonic yuuji & megumi & nobara & gojo. in terms of what i go to most often when i want a comfort re-read...finnpoe.

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

omg. you want a DEEP CUT? i have a wip for a rarepair in an already sparse fandom...yeongshin/seobi from kingdom on netflix (the historical korean zombie drama). i LOOOOVE that show i comfort re-watch it all the time. i love their bonded-thru-trauma-frenemies healer/warrior dynamic and i have this wip going for yeongshin getting bitten and seobi developing a zombification-reversal cure through sheer willpower and spite alone........there's maybe 2k written and i was relying on a season renewal announcement to motivate me enough to get the rest of it out but uh. fellow kingdom warriors if you're out there. i think we may be losing this battle............kingdom season 3 announcement save me..............

16. What are your writing strengths?

as a haver-of-siblings, i think i do general family dynamics pretty well! someone has told me in the past that i am good at packing meaning into very few words. i also think i'm good at angsty emotional beats (i sure like writing them, at least)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

bro if there is any action scene in my work, writing it is like pulling teeth. what do you mean he's getting hit. what do you mean i have to think of an interesting way to describe punch #1 and punch #2 and punch #3. STOPPPPPPPP I CANT DO THIS.

in terms of technique i used to struggle with this thing where i NEED to perfect the writing i'm working on before i can move on. like i'd waste huge amounts of time rewriting a three sentence paragraph over and over and over again until it was perfect before i could move onto the next scene. i'm getting a lot better with that tho!

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics?

i've never done it myself, like, full on written-in-a-diff-lang dialogue, but i think it's cool as long as context clues/some form of translation is provided. and if proper research is done if the writer isn't a native speaker

19. First fandom you wrote for?

the man from uncle (2015). lol. napollya could have won in an alternate universe where armie h@mmer wasn't a piece of shit

20. Favorite fic you have written?

HOO. i gotta say it's my sambucky ghost fic the boy who cried ghost. it's by far my longest fic (even tho it isn't actually very long compared to others ive seen LOLLLL) and it took me AGES to write and ended up being quite personal!! part of the reason it took me so long to finish was bc i couldn't bear to write about sam struggling with grief/guilt when i was also going through something similar, so when i finally got around to writing the moment of catharsis i kinda felt like i was helping myself, too! which was a very interesting experience, and definitely served to lodge this fic in my heart forever and ever. it's not exactly popular but i'm proud of it :)

tagging @tantai-jin @bluecrystalrainingdaggers @vinelark and anyone else who wants to participate!

#BTW I AM EATING AN APPLE FRITTER. IF ANYONE EVEN CARES.#and my cat is squeaking very loudly rn. he is so cutie #yue.txt

22 notes · View notes

outrunningthedark · 2 months

Note

There's literally zero suggestion that Ryan is uncomfortable portraying a queer character compared to Oliver. IDK what your anon is talking about. Like you said he acknowledged the difficulty of getting a storyline like that out to the GA due to toxic masculinity and homophobia but those are just the facts on the ground not an indication that he's personally opposed. Oliver's good at giving diplomatic soundbites to the fandom and cultivating a persona online, Ryan's more blunt and he answered honestly that's the key difference here. Their chemistry has never been denied, Oliver didn't say anything particularly revolutionary, the question is whether there's a serious intent to act on that to create a romantic storyline and I would have to say I agree with Ryan I don't see it happening. There's really no need to be like oh we know Oliver's cool but who knows about Ryan because it's like based on what exactly? Him stating facts that none of this was planned and it's unlikely the writers/creators will pivot?

Honestly I get a little uncomfortable with the way some people ascribe certain views and attitudes to Ryan while simultaneously blowing smoke up Oliver's supposedly enlightened ass, it feels a little prejudiced and in bad faith.

(This isn't aimed at you, I think you're very fair and I agree with you almost all the time. It's just a comment at the language I see used and the implications when this is brought up)

Just want to thank you for reiterating my point because it's something I think is going to have to be repeated over time as each season passes without Eddie being Repressed or Buddie going canon. We don't know how Ryan feels about the Buddie as a legit ship, whether he wants the show to go for it or not, because he doesn't approach the subject the way the fandom wishes he would. He's matter-of-fact. He's realistic. He's seen enough within the industry and in his own life (upbringing and friends he may have made along the way) to understand the tough spot the show put itself in by making neither Buck nor Eddie queer from the start. TBH, R "vs." O is not unlike the way older members of our fandom try to interact with/educate the younger ones. So many here have grown up in a time when queer representation is becoming "the standard" even if TV shows aren't making it past the second season. But those of us who remember the *really* dark days aren't scared to talk about the ages of the folks running these networks or the demographic they're making the shows for impacting how they envision a story line and ensure it plays out. Oliver represents the younger fandom. He understands why fans he's interacted with love the ship and would say yes in a second. Ryan is the rest of us going "Do you hear yourself right now? Do you really think Buddie is as popular IRL as it is online?" There is value in Oliver publicly supporting Buddie, absolutely. But there is also value in having someone speak in a way that aims to prevent fans from getting their hopes up over a story line that may never come true. Ryan is not trying to discourage you. He's trying to protect you and your feelings.

#anonymous #tina speaks

15 notes · View notes

sadspoookyboi · 6 months

Text

BATFAMILY AS FOLKLORE SONGS

i’m honestly shocked i’ve haven’t done this one. this one is a little different tbh, usually i just do characters and maybe lyrics but this time i did actually did explanations and i was watching the long pond sessions so i could get accurate notes on each song. DISCLAIMER there’s a lot of run on sentences and i hope it all makes sense, peace and love-ssb✌️🫶

the 1: steph and tim, i see this as being from both of their povs. i think a relationship between them wouldn’t work long term it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one

cardigan: dick/babs, i know that all writers have their own opinions on who is the “other woman” but timeline wise it’s kori so i see this as being from babs pov bc she goes back to him no matter what

the last great american dynasty: The Wayne’s, i feel that after Bruce adopts his kids and starts collecting others he starts kinda shifting what the wayne’s are where as when he grew up it was about image, poise and galas he starts to change and all he cares abt is if his kids are comfortable i had a marvelous time ruining everything

exile: jason and bruce, even though this song is like two lovers fighting i think it can be interpreted as jason being upset after tim becomes robin and it took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it and i can see bruce’s pov of being fed up with giving jason the chance to do the right thing but him not doing it like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me second, third and hundredth chances balancing on breaking bridges, i couldn’t turn things around you never turned things around

my tears ricochet: damian and talia, “it’s a song about greed. it’s a song about how somebody could be your best friend and your companion and your most trusted person in your life and then they could go and become your worst enemy who knows how to hurt you because they were once your most trusted person.” Taylor Swift long pond sessions you had to kill me but it killed you just the same this whole song and specifically this part and the quote reminds me of when talia made and had a clone of damian kill him i didn’t have it in me to go with grace and you’re the hero flying around saving face you hear my stolen lullabies

mirrorball: Stephanie, i’ve never been a natural all i do is try i know everyone is like this is dicks songs it’s not he’s the natural however i feel stephanie is put on this pedestal for being independent but she’s not and i feel like she morphs herself into a different version of herself depending on who she’s with “we have mirror balls in the middle of a dance floor because they reflect light they are broken a million times and that’s what makes them so shiny. we have people like that in society. they hang there and everytime they break it entertains us” Taylor Swift long pond sessions

seven: damian and jon, it’s a song abt besties idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ past down like folk songs the love lasts so long

august: kori/dick, IM SORRY DICKORI/ KORI STANS! to me when writers write this love triangle they write babs as the one, she’s smart and sensible and someone to settle down with while kori is written as a fling and something that is just someone who’s there in the moment and that’s what august is about it’s about this girl who was seen by this guy as a fling while she is truly falling for him and from everybody’s pov she’s this bad girl and temptress while all she wants is to love and to be loved

this is me trying: tim, they told me all my cages were mental so i got wasted like all my potential, tim is often now written as this happy go lucky character and i think that in red robin he’s fighting some real demons but in the newer runs he’s fighting to make it through the day or insecurities about his position in the family or as a superhero or even as bernard’s boyfriend and i feel like it’s just so real like no other character is going to compare to me when it comes to that and when it comes to his position in everyday life he is the definition as wasted potential he is crazy smart and charismatic but he just hates school and hates studying i was so ahead the curve that the curve became a sphere

illicit affairs: bruce/ talia, bruce and talias relationship is not healthy but i do believe that they both or at least bruce loved the other person and i feel like it shouldn’t even be described as an relationship because it seems like a means to an end

invisible string: the entire batfamily, definition of right place at the right time

mad woman: cass, in the comics and fics cass is often written to be a crazy, feral woman and i think that it’s a narrative constantly written about women and i feel like men are written as traumatized while women are not written or perceived with that tone they are written as vindictive or crazy

epiphany: babs and jim gordon, epiphany is written paralleling WWII to the pandemic and i think the perfect parallel in comic book history is babs and commissioner gordon fighting the same fight but taking different paths or routes and aaron dessner describes the song as comparing taylor’s family history and hero’s of today and i feel like that’s the perfect way to describe it

betty: babs/dick/kori, i already described my thoughts twice but i feel like dick would maybe take more accountability

peace: bruce/selina, imma be honest i don’t know if it’s canon that bruce doesn’t do relationships bc of batman but it’s fitting and i feel like it’s probably that even in relationships with other heroes is a conversation to be had bruce truly can’t give selina peace, he cannot promise stability or a promise of staying alive or not being over tabloids as he’s the richest man alive all these people think loves for show but i would die for you in secret

hoax: duke, duke is the one character that i can’t really get a read on but as the newest member of the batfamily i feel like there’s still this feeling in him that’s like i have this new family and i love them but at the end of the day i want my parents my parents that raised me at the end of the day he’s a boy who wants his parents. i also feel like he’s still trusting of people and he reaps what he sowed everytime

the lakes: tim/bernard: tim always has an exit plan and it’s always escaping by himself to be by himself and i feel like it’s the same no matter who he’s with but when he met and started dating bernard he finally found someone to escape with and exit the hero world for im setting off, but not without my muse

batfam (taylor’s version) is coming so lmk what albums you guys want next🤭🤭

28 notes · View notes

compacflt · 1 year

Note

my apologies if this is too simple or juvenile or personal a question but HOW did you become such a proficient writer? and do you have any tips or pointers to keep in mind? i know you must do a lot of reading and a lot of writing, but your skill is just incredible to me. your prose!! your cadence!! when we get around to talking about it is genuinely one of the best things i've ever read and i'd eat it if i could!!!

this ask was so sweet thank you!! rly made my day when i needed a boost. Hope you don’t mind i took a couple days to think about it cause no one’s ever asked me for writing advice before

idk how i became a “proficient” writer bc I really don’t write that much. something about my fic gave me brainworms and i went into overdrive but that’s…not my usual MO. which is why it’s weird for me too. admittedly i am studying english/creative writing as my second major at uni, but i haven’t learned anything in any of my classes you couldn’t learn by just reading and writing on your own. honestly i should’ve stuck with my IR major instead, i find structured cw classes a complete waste of time. but here are some little tips i thought of that would’ve helped ME:

This is more a “do as I say not as I do” because I’m really bad at habits like this, but keep a diary. You can write about the big events (went to the store, did homework, got laid etc.) but that’s boring—focus on the details (watched someone at west side market throw a glass bottle of olives at a rat, broke a pen and permanently stained my dorm desk and won’t get my deposit back which pissed me off because I move out in a week, this guy’s breath smelled like lemon pledge and it made me wonder if he drank window cleaner before kissing me etc.). Real life is really interesting! How can you write about interesting real life in an interesting way? It’s a good way to practice. You don’t have to do a big reflection at the end of the day or anything. It’s okay to jot down something you saw & then immediately forget about it. It’s the act of figuring out how to translate life into words that’s important

If you type, learn how to type FAST. This is just my experience, but I think typing faster makes your cadence, clause length, dialogue, IDEAS flow better/more naturally. We think in words/sentences, not letters.

This is a super lame tip that’ll make you roll your eyes, but read poetry. Poetry is all about how words/ideas/images sound and interact with each other. Don’t get hung up on one poet—im not really recommending any for precisely this reason—read poetry you love (for me, Ada Limón, Jack Kerouac, Frank O’Hara, ghazals etc) AND read poetry you hate (for me, Rupi Kaur, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, etc)! Read all genres you can get your hands on. (I think there are like “great poetry anthologies” you can find for free online if u don’t know where to start. Also you can’t go wrong with subscribing to/reading a variety magazine like the NYer. It’s pretentious but it exposes you to all kinds of weird topics, ways of writing about them, etc.) Figure out how certain combinations of words and punctuations make you FEEL, and why, and why the writer chose (or not) to make you feel that way. Figure out which literary sounds you like and which ones you don’t. For me, i figured out that I REALLY like alliteration, comma splices, zeugmas, the rule of three, and

“he’s [verb]ing again… yeah compacflt’s characters are [verb]ing again… big shocker”

If you have an idea for a piece, figure out what it is you really want to get out of it—to say something? to experiment with a different style? to see your fav characters do something? to have fun?—and then figure out how, on a technical level, you should write to match that goal (this is where the poetry training comes in handy). If you’re just writing to have fun, don’t listen to any writing advice (incl. mine), because most of it is bullshit and over-generalized and will make you feel bad about yourself. Just take the advice that you think will work for what YOURE trying to write.

But if you’re writing to explore some political idea, then you should think about HOW to best write about that idea. What would be a convincing story/allegory/scene to engage with this idea vs. not convincing. I talk on this blog all the time about how disappointed I am that my very-adult-grown-up attempt to deal with the dynamic of “immovable internalized homophobia vs unstoppable falling in love anyway” is rendered a little childish/immature by some pretty unconvincing plot points like the characters buying a house together—I really should have considered how that plot point would interact with the characterizations I’d built already (hint: poorly). You can think of writing as kind of a military structure if that helps—you have strategy on the overarching campaign (plot/character growth/allegory/theme) level, the battle (scene that advances the above) level, and the tactical (sentence-level construction/syntax/wording) level. They all have to work together. If a scene is failing to properly engage with the idea you’re trying to convey, you’re losing a battle that will weaken the overarching campaign. Same thing if you choose a weird word in a sentence/write in a style or tone that’s weirdly out of place with your idea—it makes your engagement with the theme/idea less convincing. just try to be purposeful and consider your strategy on all levels of your work as you’re writing it!! At the very least it’ll make editing easier lol.

But then again when I read my own writing from just a couple months ago I cringe out of my skin, so like—just also accept that it’s a process and we’re all just making it up as we go along. Be proud of being embarrassed of your old work, because it means you’re growing. Own that shit. When I finished writing WWGATTAI i thought it was the best thing I’d ever written, and maybe it was. But since the day I finished working on it, it’s the worst thing I’ve written since then. That’s a great feeling. Not to be like writing grindset obviously bc it’s supposed to be fun—but if what you want is to get better at writing, the strategy is to WRITE a whole bunch of shit, and then own your embarrassment about how much you’ve grown since you started. And know you’re still always growing and learning. there should never be any “goals” where skills are concerned 👍🏽

#fake it till u make it #the good part about fiction is all you’re really doing is makin shit up #no rules!!!#fiction is just trying to sell a lie right #so it’s all on a sliding scale of convincability (at least that’s how i judge fiction)#and figuring out how to convince people of your lie is where the art is #anyway.#not top gun #asks #writing tips #idk how to tag this #also i love ao3 because trying to get published traditionally genuinely made me hate writing/MY writing #i have indeed had the cliche 100+ form rejection letters experience #unfortunately writing is also one of those things where you can see it as a competition so easily #(admittedly a small part of why i don’t read other TG fics—i don’t wanna read people doing it better than me😭)#BUT you tailor your experience to have a healthy life. it’s not a competition if you don’t make it one. put yourself first

81 notes · View notes