#idk i just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere and i guess screaming into the void is as good as anything else

[keravnous]

diet mountain dew; john wick/fem!reader (smut, 18+)

dating john wick - the playlist

The Boogeyman is out to get you. Little does he know, that you too are willing to do quite a bunch of things just to stay alive.

warnings: blood, guns, knives, injuries, physical violence/fighting, assassination attempt; dub-con, rough sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (female receiving), choking, dirty talk, spanking, a lot of manhandling bc for the love of god he doesn't know how to be soft anymore, gun kink, knife kink, size kink, strength kink, squirting, body worship if you blink, is this hate-fucking? idk; john has a horse cock change my mind; john is in his 50s, the reader is in her 20s; set somewhere after the series i guess? (I refuse to accept he's dead); problematic family relationship as a plot device; let's all collectively ignore the fact that he would actually never touch another woman or even dare to catch the smallest of feelings again; john gets off on the violence

word count: 10,6 k

thank you mel for a) listening to my ramblings and b) reading a good chunk of the first third of this dumpster fire and still going nuts about it, kissies and thank you v for listening to my keanu ramblings without losing faith in me

You wonder, if praying will help you. Probably not.

The sound of carnage, screams and gunshots in the hallway abruptly stops. You hear the assailant's heavy footsteps echoing off the floorboards outside of your hotel room mere seconds before the door bursts open, flies out of its hinges and rattles to the ground, wood creaking and breaking, splinters flying everywhere.

There had been a hit out on you for two days and every single soldier in your father's militia was ready to defend your life with their own.

Literally. You can tell by the man entering your suite.

You can tell by just how much he is covered in blood. You can tell by the way it drips down his forehead and how it soaks his white shirt - even the soles of his shoes creak with it. You can tell by the way he is totally and utterly drenched in red red red, and because you are certain it is not his.

They literally gave their life for you. The thought hits you like a blow to the head. People have died because of you. Fathers, brothers, sons. You recall your last conversation with your own father. They want us dead, they put out a contract on us - you had never seen him so nervous, so disheveled. What does that mean - his anxiety had been washing over you in seeping hot waves, sending cold shivers down your spine. It means, I need you out of the house - now.

Nausea bubbles in your stomach as the man now approaches you, casually strolls into the suite with his finger on the trigger of the gun dangling from his hand and you stare back at him - a deer in the headlights, frozen by fear in the eyes of its deadly predator. One of your father's men jumps from his cover, fires a shot and gets hit back with one straight between his eyes. It happens so quickly, that you can't turn your head away. You see the bullet piercing his forehead, blood splattering as soon as it exits the skull on the other side. His head flies back a little, and then his body goes limp, slack, as he falls to the ground with a heavy thud.

You want to scream. You want to vomit. You want to run. But there is nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide from him.

There's only one soldier left with you in the suite now and he is hiding around the corner, near the bathroom. The stranger - the assassin, the killer - does not lower the gun again, and does not let his eyes stray from you as he carefully enters the room. You feel terribly exposed, dressed only in your negligée, not daring to move.

Now, that the dim light of the suite's living room strikes his face, you can finally see him, see the man who has come to end you. He is older than you, maybe nearly twice your age, with dark hair and even darker eyes, matching his black suit. Lean and athletic, chest heaving slightly with physical exhaustion. The Boogeyman.

You do not know who or what you had expected, what cruel and dreadful images your brain had conjured up in the past 48 hours - 48 frightful hours of being moved around from hideout to hideout by your father's men, not staying in one place longer than necessary - but it certainly was not that. Not him. He is a lot more handsome than his reputation has led on. Seeing him on the subway around rush hour you would have never suspected him to be in this business. He looks nice. And that is exactly what makes him dangerous.

You have heard his name before. Echoing from the walls. Baba Yaga. Whispered with both: fear and respect. The Boogeyman. Blurted out: like a curse or like a blessing. Mister Wick: like redemption, like damnation. Jonathan, the king's son walking the earth as the devil.

John. The sound of his name is oddly human - disturbingly human - for someone looking as calm and collected, focused and concentrated as he does right now, while being drenched in blood and pointing a gun at you.

You must have said his name out loud, because his eyebrows twitch irritatedly, a movement so quick you barely missed it - must've sound desperate too, then.

Vision zeroing in on the barrel of his gun, your hands clutch the sofa's edge. There is so much adrenaline pumping through your veins right now that it freezes your limbs, has your ears ringing. The only thing responding to your brain fully are your eyes, and they snap away from the gun and over to the remaining soldier. It's a quick look, not even a second, but the hitman seems to recognize it and - with near inhumane speed - flicks his gun, and fires two shots. Blood splatters against the white door as the shots pin the soldier's body against it, and is it finally drops to the ground heavily it leaves a nasty trail, all wet and sticky and red.

Could be you.

You want to scream, but your body does not belong to you anymore, does not respond to your commands. It is a desperate, cruel sound that leaves your throat instead as you flinch with the sound of the gun being fired.

"Let's make this quick" his voice is gravelly and rough, like he has seen a thousand grim things and the pain of it has etched its way into his throat, left a nasty mark on every tone that ever dared to cross after.

That is when your fight or flight suddenly kicks in. Well, more specifically, it kicks in while he is speaking, as he starts to swap the empty clip of his gun.

He underestimates you. Everyone does. Your father, your brother. The countless men lying dead littered across the hotel's 25th floor. It will be his mistake.

You latch forward, grabbing the vase from the coffee table in front of you. The weight of it in your hand drags you down.

With all the strength you can muster, which is quite a lot considering the massive amounts of adrenaline that are currently amping up your body - you throw it at him. It connects with his forehead sharply; a deep, irritated noise bursting from his throat as it crashes, splinters and falls to the floor.

You are braver, braver than you should be as your assault does not end there, your body pushing you forward, leaping over the table and crashing into his broad shoulders.

I will not die today

Body ramming into his, he stumbles, as your fist connects with his chin. You have only been partially trained in hand-to-hand combat, after pleading your brother for months until he eventually gave in. Sadly, he wasn't nearly as thorough and honest with it as he was training his drug dealer and gun runners. But now, it is the only thing you can rely on.

There is nothing else; no one else left alive in that building who might be able to help you. It is up to you. So, you might as well try.

And Oh, does desperation fire up your blood.

I will not die today

The diversion does not last long and he - John John John only human only human only human - grabs you by you waist hard, fingers digging into your flesh and into the expensive silk, before he slams your body into the ground. All air leaves your lungs with a dull sound erupting from your chest, just as pain blooms around your ribs.

You cough and he looks down at you, confusion making his brows twitch, before cold-hearted determination takes over once more. John aims his gun at you once more, pulls back the hammer and you do not even think about it, your leg rising as you kick against his hand. The shot misses, buries itself deep into the expensive carpet a few inches next to your skull. You have no time to do either: panic or sigh in relief; instead, you deliver him a kick to his stomach, fighting yourself back onto your feet, punching him straight in the face.

John grunts and grabs your wrist, but you see it coming and throw yourself into his wide frame, wrapping your other arm around his back and thus hooking it underneath his right shoulder, dislocating his arm and preventing him from aiming his gun at you. You claw onto him as he twists your arm close to his stomach, while you wrap your legs around him, making it harder for John to shake you off.

I will not die today

You kick and dig the heel of your foot into his thighs and the back of his knees and he grunts and buckles a little, but turns wild and relentless quicker than you can blink, throws the two of you into the next wall. You gasp sharply as your back connects with the large mirror, splinters digging into your back - not deep enough to actually cut skin, but it stings nonetheless, the impact making you dizzy.

Sharp pain shoots through your back and your neck, but you are not willing to give up yet, as raw energy and rage and desperation surges through your body - one of your legs coming loose and your knee hitting his stomach repeatedly, making John grunt in pain and you use your momentum to dig your hand deep into his back, holding onto him and then swirling out of the deadlock he has got you in, jumping his back like a monkey.

His gun clatters to the ground and for a split second, the room falls silent. Then, roaring like an animal gone wild, he grabs your calves and slams his back into the nearest wall, has you screaming with the impact. You can feel blood pouring from your nose, feel it trickling down your lips.

I will not die today

John is stronger than you are, so so much stronger - the apex predator: all muscle, unbreakable focus and the sheer will to kill. But you are not only a little quicker; you also really want to stay alive. It is a force he rarely encounters. And quite frankly, it irritates him.

He may be older than you, taller than you and stronger than you but you have something he does not have: you actually still got something to lose.

And you fight like it, too. All scratches and sharp yells, as you punch and scrabble at his shoulders and tear at his tie, trying to strangle him with it. John is struggling against it, gasping for air and winding beneath your assault and then his grip around your claves grows hard like iron, seconds before he pulls - throws you over his head like you weigh nothing. You land on the expensive carpet with a heavy thud - groaning as you crash onto your side with sharp pain shooting through your shoulder, down your ribcage.

I will not die today

John sputters and stumbles forward, looking for his gun but you are quicker, kicking it away with your foot. It clatters back onto and slides over the wooden floorboards.

For a second you consider your choices, fighting yourself back onto your feet but John - a practiced and seasoned fighter - beats you to it and lands a blow to your upper back, sends you back down with him - a mess of sputtering saliva and painful groans. His body topples onto yours and he quickly rolls the two of you over the floor.

John is heavy and warm on top of you, as he keeps you in a tight headlock, your chest pressed to the floor and neck bend in a painful angle. He presses his strong forearm down onto your windpipe and you choke and cough, feet kicking, hands dragging across the wood, clawing at it feebly.

You can feel his breath on your cheek, hot and damp. You can feel his torso pressing against your back as he kneels behind you.

I will not die today

Mustering all your remaining strength, you trash against him, ramming your backside into his stomach. He grunts and for a split second, his grip loosens. It is all you need. Throwing your elbow back, you hit him in the chest and he caves in.

You cough, crawling forward and then scrambling back onto your feet, one of your negligée’s straps falling down your shoulder in the process. You hastily pull it back up, seconds before John launches a cascade of punches onto you.

A few of them hit you as you try to block them; dull pain igniting in your body, blooming in your face and arms. Your breath goes heavy as you stumble backwards. You cannot do this. There is no way. You just physically can't.

He is stronger. Taller. Heavier. Deadlier. Your body and every single muscle, bone, nerve in it aches and you wheeze but he is already onto you again, half-tackles you and grabs your waist, ready to smash you back onto the ground.

You cling onto him with all your remaining strength, struggling against his huge frame, wrapping your hands around his neck in an attempt to get him to stumble.

His hair tingles on your naked arms. Oh wait --

Tearing at his hair - which has him grunting in both, pain, and irritation at the unusual attempt - you clumsily pull yourself up onto his shoulders, cutting his face right above his eyebrow with your nails in the process until you finally wrap one leg around his throat and close it around there tightly, choking him. John tries to pull you off him and succeeds after quite the tussle, only to find your frame clinging to him, legs and arms wrapping around his body, hands scratching and feet kicking.

I will not fucking die today

In an attempt to either get rid of each other or submit the last blow, to finally kill the other, you two swirl through the room - a deadly dance of torn skin, smashed glass panes and mirrors, bruises and cuts. Somewhere in between kicks and punches, he managed to pick up his gun - and right now, you are mustering all of your exhausted strength to prevent the barrel from pressing against your skull.

Eventually, John crashes your bodies through a large wooden door, and is not quick enough - unable to stop his own oxe-like strength - to stop himself from stumbling into the room. The two of you only come a halt as his knees hit something soft and ironically that is what finally topples both of you over, landing onto the mattress of your bedroom with a soft thud and deep, exhausted grunts.

Your ears ring, and you are ready to lash out at him again despite the physical exhaustion, to strike him square across the face, as --

There is something hard pressing against your crotch.

The world falls silent.

No. No, there's no fucking way. It's got to bea hidden weapon. Must be.

But clearly, it is not. There, between your spread legs, his hard cock presses snugly against your panty-clad pussy.

And he just feels so huge - mouth-watering huge - that your body responds in its own way, hips snapping up, stuttering against the hard bulge. John lets go off a shaky, ragged breath, hand still clutching his gun. And you know, that this is your window.

Feeling the warmth that his body and his hard dick are radiating through his expensive suit, you roll your hips once - a languid, slow motion, rubbing your pussy over his bulge.

And he groans. A deep, primal sound that sounds a little coarse. John is looking at you, starring you down, but there is a shadow dancing over his eyes, turning his brown eyes into deep and dark, black pits that gives him away.

He is horny. The Boogeyman is fucking horny. You would laugh, if the realization wasn't knocking all air straight from your lungs. Because it just another reminder, proof of what he actually is: human.

And what a sight he is to see - eyes turning darker every second, his chest heaving with every breath and making it seem like his shirt is going to pop a button or two any second now, his cock prodding against its restraints and your clothed cunt.

It makes you want him. The thought leaves you dizzy, makes you gasp.

Apparently, that is all he needs to roll his hips back into yours. And that - that is just unfair. It's playing dirty. It's, it's -- His dick feels huge as it trails along your folds, has the muscles in your abdomen clenching.

"Fuck", you breathe, a little overwhelmed with and helpless at the sudden surge of lust that ignites your body, the wetness pooling between your legs.

John is not saying anything, just stares you down while he continues to slooowly roll his hips into yours, grinds his cock against your cunt. Your pelvis twitches upward as you start to meet his movements, and then you can hear it. He let's go of a deep breath, and it sounds like the faintest moan.

You need to hear more of that. You need more of him, your cunt aching and hole clenching around nothing already.

"John", and this time you say his name - consciously - it sounds a different way of desperate: your voice reduced to a small whisper, torn at the edges by a wanton whimper ripping from your throat.

If it throws him off-guard he does not show it, does not let you see it. Instead, he grabs your chin hard, gaze locking with yours. Dark pupils blown wide, swallowing the honey-brown of his eyes, and your breath hitches.

"Yeah?", he rasps, and it does not take more than one long look from you for him to lean in, to press his lips onto yours.

The kiss tastes of blood and adrenaline and doom, and you relish in it. Relishing the way his lips move against yours and his beard tickles a little, relishing how his tongue presses into your mouth. It feels like he is eating you whole, licking into your mouth, one hand dancing over your waist - featherlight, like he doesn't know how to touch a body without hurting someone, destroying someone.

I will not die today, motherfucker

Your whole body now sings with it, the security of an impending victory, as you roll your hips into his once more, your tongue now licking back into his mouth. For a second you think about how to strike again, now that he is seemingly distracted, but all will to fight leaves your body as one of his hands brushes over your knee, wanders further and eventually rests on your thigh.

The touch is electrifying and then his hand grows braver, his movements more certain, as he grabs your thigh, feels you up. It happens so suddenly, that you gasp into the kiss.

John parts from you, his lips a little plush already. "Oh God", you whisper as you stare Death Turned Human straight in the face, not a single thought remaining in your skull despite your lust.

He doesn't speak, as he gently let’s go off your leg and straightens back up and for a second you think he is going to hurt you, with the way his brows are furrowed - but he doesn't.

Instead, he moves in, right over your comparably tiny frame - a mountain of a man. John kneels above you, his weight pinning you down while he straddles your thighs and Jesus fucking Christ - what a sight he is to see.

Dark locks falling into his forehead, a little sticky with sweat and the bits of blood from the cut your nails gave him moments ago - right above his left eyebrow, still lazily trickling down into his lashes. His chest heaves with ragged breaths, as he hastily gets rid of his jacket, carelessly drops it to the ground. His black button-down clings to his muscular body underneath his waistcoat and his equally as muscular thighs pin you down to the bed, black fabric nearly tearing at the seams. And then there is his hard cock.

It looks as huge as it felt, with the way it bulges his pants, the outline of it clearly visible as it buckles proudly against its restraints. You are certain, you will not be able to close your hand around it fully - not a chance.

One of his hands - the one lacking a finger, which you only now notice and what sends shivers down your spine - wanders over your body, pulling your negligée down in the process, right tit spilling out of the soft silk. He immediately grabs it, cups it with his large hand and squeezes. You mewl, marveling at just how big his hand is, just as his whole body is in comparison to you. His fucked-up finger digs into the flesh, sending shivers down your spine.

John's hand gropes your tit, before he impatiently pulls the neckline down roughly. You sigh, arousal shooting down your spine and tingling in your lower belly, as two of his fingers nudge your nipple, pinch it.

He watches your face intently, as he continues to grope you, rolls your nipple between his fingers. You mewl, breath accelerating a little but it is just not enough and you buck your hips upwards. John grunts in, what you assume is an approving manner, and let's go off your tit, reaches to his belt at his loins.

Quickly pulling a knife from God-knows-where exactly, a sharp blade enters your vision.

You blink, panic seeping through your lust and your legs twitch a little with fear. If John notices it, he neither shows it nor does he say anything, just moves the knife closer to your body.

The blade shines in the dim light as it dances over your exposed thighs carefully, the metal cooly pressing against your skin, before he flicks it and cuts your negligée open. The thin, soft fabric cleanly cut in half it now lazily slides from your aching body, falls to its sides. Your chest heaves, shivers running down your arms and back.

It happens so quickly that you can only blink. As your brain finally catches up with your eyes, you come to realize that he is holding a real fucking tactical knife. You have thrown one once - they are sharp as hell and deadlier than a bullet. The sound of fabric tearing easily, like paper, proves your point.

And John's movements with the blade are so fast that your breath hitches, a little afraid he might cut you. But he does not, instead, he quickly pulls the torn silk off you and away from under you, carelessly tosses it into the dark of the room.

The edge of the blade dances over your skin and you do not dare to breathe, as he trails it up and down your curves, gently nudges your nipples. "I could kill you", he says calmly and then, in lightning speed, presses the blade into the crook of your neck. Your head sinks back into the mattress, in an instinct to flee the sharp edge.

All it does is to expose your neck further and something gleams in John's eyes, as he presses the sharp tip down slowly, carefully nudging your skin with it. The metal is cold and hard and sharp and your breath hitches. Just a little bit more and it might burst your skin, draw blood.

But, to your own confusion, you do not feel threatened anymore. Oddly enough, your nerves tingle with excitement. You blame it on the already high levels of adrenaline that still pump through your veins, rushing back and forth from your brain and your lungs, but a small voice inside of your head whisper gently, deviously, that you know That's not it. And he knows it, too.

It's in his eyes as well, the sheer excitement of it all, the fucked-up pleasure it evokes in the both of you lays heavy in the air.

It turns you fucking on. It turns you on, that the man who - minutes ago - tried you kill you and did hurt you very fucking badly in the process of it, now decides to let you live.

It turns you on, that you are at his mercy.

It turns you on, that he decided to spare you - just for now.

It turns you on, that these large and strong hands holding the knife have that sort of power over you. And thus, as the blade nudges your head back further, you moan.

"I could cut your throat", John's voice is heavy and thick with arousal and you can feel your heartbeat picking up, breath accelerating. His gaze drops down, watches the rapid rising and falling of your breasts hungrily, while another soft moan escapes from your lips.

"Don't", you breathe softly.

The knife practically burns on your skin, and you can feel arousal flooding your clothed pussy, rubbing your thighs together for any sort of friction. John can feel your squirming underneath him, but he can also see your eyes turning watery and dark with lust, pupils blown and a pretty pink spreading on your cheeks, your breath growing shallow. And he just really needs to fucking taste you right now.

As quickly as it appeared, the blade vanishes from your throat before he twirls the knife like the ruthless, reckless professional that he is, and buries it deep to the hilt in the mattress next to you. The sharp sound as it pierces the thick fabric has the hairs on your body standing up, goosebumps rolling over your skin.

"I'll do it later", he rumbles - casually, like he is talking about doing chores or picking up groceries - before hunching over you, grabbing your chin with his fucked-up hand, and kissing you again. His tongue immediately pushes into your mouth, like he is starving to taste you.

John eats you whole, with the way his lips move against yours. His hand cups your face, tongue licking into your mouth, toying with yours. His kiss steals your breath and you start to get dizzy with it, hips bucking. You can feel his lips curling up and then he parts from you, leaving you a gasping mess, spit pooling at the corners of your mouth.

"Let me touch you, John", you whisper, voice a little small because you do not know why you feel that way, and if he will even allow it. But you just need to feel him.

For a long moment his gaze dances over your face and something shifts behind his eyes, like a shadow gets lifted and then very quickly returns. Ultimately, he gives a court nod, so small you nearly miss it and gives you a little more room while straightening back up.

Carefully, as if not to spook him, you dart one hand out, place it on his chest. The muscle is firm underneath his suit and you run your hand along the lapel of his jacket, down and then back up, before it slips beneath it.

John's body radiates warmth under the black fabric of his shirt and your other hand comes up, before you shove the jacket off his shoulders and onto the floor next to the bed.

Your breath hitches.

He is wearing a holster, a reminder of his deadliness, of the gun laying somewhere next to you. Maybe, he sees the fear returning in your eyes, but he is quick to shrug the holster off, throws it into the dark where it clatters onto the wooden floor boards. What is left in front of you are broad shoulders and a muscular chest, the fabric nearly tearing at his movements.

As you run your hands over it, you cannot help yourself - you need to fucking feel him for real.

Quickly making work of his waistcoat and tie you toss both to the side carelessly, before your hands roam his broad chest. His button-down clings snugly against his upper body and you can feel the muscles work beneath the black fabric as your hands brush over them. You tug at the shirt, pulling its tails from his pants before hastily opening the first few buttons. The skin underneath is pale, littered by blue - red - black bruises, birthmarks scattered in between like stars. You pop open the rest of the buttons, greedy to touch him. And as the shirt falls to the sides your hands are already onto his chest, roaming over and admiring the muscular, defined canvas of strength, that violence has painted a pretty picture on.

John is watching you intently as you undress him and then explore his body, your pupils blown wide and dark, mouth agape a little. He is a little taken aback by it - by someone not seeing his body as the ultimate tool of death that it is, but as something else, that he cannot really pinpoint because he can't even look in the mirror without seeing destruction and decay. But the way your gaze wanders over his body, the way you touch him, is different from that and he has not felt anything like it in years.

And John wants. Carnal desire tugs at his brain, shoots arousal between his legs, makes his cock twitch and a low growl escaping his throat.

The sound gets you going: pushing yourself up with one hand, the other wrapping around his strong neck for leverage as you sit up, mouth immediately clutching to his throat. He tastes of sweat and after-shave - sharp and musky - and you run your tongue over his skin greedily, licking and sucking at the skin while your naked body presses against his.

It disarms him. The gentle touch that you put his body up to, while everything still aches from plowing through the better half of your father's militia and beating the hell out of you, confuses him. Your touch, your lips on his skin are soft and not aiming to hurt - instead, they grow more and more needy, wanton and hasty, as you lick over his bruised skin, tasting his sweat. Your hands over his abdomen caress his defined muscles, in awe of his utter strength, thumbs brushing through the soft and dark trail of hair leading beneath the waistband of his trousers. And all John can do, is watch, his gaze locking with yours as goosebumps erupt on his skin.

And you - oh you; your head swims with the way you turn this animal into a human again, unlock a different set of animalistic needs within him and hearing John's breath growing heavy really fucking does it for you, feeling his scarred and beaten-up skin underneath your hands, wrapping them around the deadly machine that is his body. It makes you want more.

Shedding his blood-stained shirt off of his shoulders, your hands roam over his upper back - feeling the scars there: of knives, larger and small ones and round ones of bullets that once pierced his skin. There is something else, a burn scar, in the shape of a cross and he hisses as your fingers brush over it, nails digging into the stunted skin.

It pulls John out of his stasis, reminds him of who he is and you can feel the air swinging with it seconds before he moves. His large hands wrap around your shoulders and then he pulls you off him, throws you back onto the mattress. You yelp, eyes growing wide as you watch his face as it turns from lightly dazed back to stern, wild, with his brows furrowed.

"That's enough", he says, voice coarse and it still feels like a small victory, even though he spreads your legs roughly, hands digging deep into your thighs - hard enough to bruise - before he kneels between them. He yanks your body forward at the back of your knees, watches your tits bounce and then leans in, his lips immediately attacking your throat, your neck.

His lips are surprisingly soft against your skin, his beard tickling a little as it brushes over your tits, your stomach, your thighs while his tongue licks fat stripes over your nipples and down down down your upper body, right to your navel. One of his hands creeps up your body once more and roughly cups your tit, squeezes, and gropes it, rolls your hardened nipple between his index and middle finger. His stunted ring-finger digs deep into your tit and you gasp, hips bucking. John's lips suck and nibble at your skin, before eventually ghosting over your pubic bone, teasing you before assaulting your thighs again, teeth biting down gently into the soft flesh. You gasp and moan while he gropes your body, inhales your scent - as you watch how his lips, tongue, and teeth dance over your thighs, moving closer to your cunt.

John finally, finally, puts his mouth onto your pussy, peppers open-mouthed kisses around your clit, before clothing his lips around it and sucking on it hard through your panties. Your hips buck as a high-pitched moan erupts from your throat, hands flying into his greying locks.

"Fuck", you whine, feeling fresh wetness flooding your folds, dampening the thin fabric further. John can see the outlines of your wet pussy pressing against your panties and parts from your clit momentarily, only to lick a fat stripe over your clothed cunt, watching it twitch.

"That's fucking pretty", he rasps, gaze locking with yours and you feel all air leaving your lungs. His eyes are so fucking dark, like gleaming black pits swallowing you whole, his breath a little flat with arousal.

You want him to fuck you. Really fuck you. To plow you open, rail you until you cannot sit nor walk. He is already so so close to you, but too far away at the same time. "Please", is all you manage to utter out. And it seems to be sufficient enough for him; seems to get across what you want, what you need.

John's fingers wrap around the front of your lace slip, tugging at the fabric - that rubs along your cunt at the sudden motion and has you gasping quietly - and then he pulls. The lace tears easily as he rips it apart, and cool air hits your wet and hot pussy, as he practically peels you out of your underwear, throws it to the side. The look on his face is wild and you can hear him taking a deep breath, smelling your arousal, before he spreads your folds apart with his thumbs, gaze wandering over your plump and flushed cunt.

Teasingly brushing over your clit with his thumb, John watches your reaction intently. And fuck, you do not disappoint. Throwing your head back, you moan, drawing in a deep breath through your opened mouth that heaves your chest, your eyelids fluttering.

You are dying for him to touch you and as he does, it feels like your body catches fire - lust washing away the dull pain in your limbs and near your ribs.

"Oh God", you breathe out as his thumb draws another wide and slow circle over your clit, your hands darting out and grabbing the sheets "Please."

And John complies, his thumb rubbing over your clit in a slow but steady rhythm.

Gasping, your hands clutch the sheets, knees darting away from each other, giving him more space. John accepts the invitation, grabs one thigh hard, fucked up ring-finger digging deep into your skin. His fingers move further, abandons your clit and dance over your folds, down to your hole. It flutters as two of his digits tease it, gently circling around it.

"Please", you whine once more, lifting your hips a little, a desperate noise leaving your throat. John smirks to himself, before pushing two of his fingers into you.

The stretch is sudden and bigger than expected and you moan coarsely, as he pushes his digits along your walls deeply and nestles them into your seeping hot cunt up to his knuckles. And Jesus, you feel so full already; your head swimming as you consider how big his cock must feel, then.

Your breath goes quick and shallowly as he starts to move them, and then he leans in. Nudges your clit with the tip of his tongue, licks over it.

You feel like combusting on the spot: your nerves tingling with arousal, your whole body still aching from the beating you gave each other earlier - the pain in your back blooming as you stretch it with your hips desperately shoving themselves near his touch - your pussy squeezing his fingers.

John pumps his thick fingers in and out of you, his tongue rubbing and circling your clit and soft, needy moans fall from your lips. Obscene, wet sounds fill the air, mingle with your moans and heavy breathing. His lips close in around your clit, sucking at it while his fingers rub along your spongy walls and your cunt squeezes them hard as fresh wetness floods your folds, your squirt wetting his beard and dripping down on the sheets below.

You can hear - feel - John humming against your pussy, peppering the wet skin with open mouthed kisses, licking over it, and tasting your slick.

You feel so fucking good - lust pulsating through your veins, loins on fire - and your head falls to the side, body rocking with sharp gasps and your mouth agape, eyelids fluttering as --

There's the gun. And the knife.

You could easily grab either one or the other next to you, pull the blade out of the matress or the hammer back; put a bullet right between his eyes or plow the blade deep deep into his skull. Killing the Boogeyman. Killing Baba Yaga.

That would do wonders to your family's business. It would emancipate you from it, you would be free. Free to rule.

"Thinking 'bout killing me?", John rumbles, tongue licking a fat stripe over your cunt, nudging your clit. Your gaze flickers back to him: hair a mess, eyes gleaming darkly, hands on your thighs to keep your legs spread. He does not look surprised. Neither does he look worried.

Realization hits you like a blow to the head: he is toying with you. Has been the whole fucking time. The wolf hunting the deer, running a few rounds through the woods to weaken it; its breath whistling with exhaustion, long legs buckling before it collapses - an easy kill. An easy kill for an old wolf, one, that can't quite handle a real hunt anymore.

But maybe, just maybe - judging from the look in his eyes - he got lost in his own game. Its reins slipped from his bloody hands, the wolf tumbling to the ground.

Looking back at him, your lips curl into a sweet smile. "Not anymore", your hand darts out, brushing the loose strands of dark hair from his face - the soft gesture leaving him visibly confused -, "John."

Two can play this game. And maybe, just maybe, the deer can tire the wolf out first.

Something gleams in John's eyes, dances over them like a shadow and he seems to accept the challenge - readying to tire you out - tongue licking over your clit once more, making you shiver and mewl, as he pulls his fingers out of your dripping hole. You feel empty and --

"Do you really think, you could kill me?", he rumbles, voice deep and rough around the edges, "Stupid slut."

And then, quicker than your brain can process it, his hand comes down on your dripping wet pussy.

Your breath hitches, topples over and leaves your throat as a raw, needy moan. Softly stinging pain blooms between your folds and sets your nerves on fire. Blame it on the bruises, blame it on the pain you both inflicted on each other moments ago, but: it riles you up. Mingles with your aching bones and aching cunt, has you arching your back.

"Y'really think you could kill me", he doesn't sound offended, not even amused - voice plain, like he is inquiring if you really believed the earth to be flat. Like you really are stupid.

And you start to feel stupid, too. There was never a chance. You never had a chance. Your death was sealed, determined the second John stepped into the hotel.

You were stupid to believe you could outrun or beat him. You are stupid. And John has every right to show you, teach you, punish you for it.

Giving your cunt another firm slap, John watches your hips twitch, hears your pussy squelching and soft moans falling from your lips. "Shit", you sigh and he slaps your wet pussy once more, feels your slick folds wetting the palm of his hand.

"D'you like that, girl?", and as your only response are wanton gasps falling from your mouth John chuckles deeply, gives your pulsating cunt another two firm slaps. Seeing how he is pulling you apart, how good he makes you feel really seems to do it for him, gets him quite talkative.

"Uh-huh", you make dumbly, quite illiterate, watching him stroking your flushed, hot cunt with two of his fingers. Shivers run down your spine.

And then he leans back in, licks a fat stripe over your sensitive, flushed cunt, from the hole up to the clit.

You squirm, mewl as his beard brushes over your overstimulated skin, leaving a slight burn that mingles deliciously with a fresh wave of arousal that floods your body scalp to toes.

The muscles in your abdomen clench as two of his fingers circle your fluttering hole and then push in, rubbing along your plush walls agonizingly slowly and you can feel yourself tightening around it. Your juices squelch from your cunt as you squirt against his tongue and your slick runs down your folds, wets his fingers and palm while his tongue laps at your pussy, tasting your sweetness.

John pushes is fingers deeper as you moan and sigh, hands fisting his hair and hips moving against his tongue, his digits thrusting into you.

"Oh god", you huff as his lips close in around your clit, sucking on it and the tip of his tongue flicking against it occasionally.

Another wave of fresh wetness floods your cunt as you squirt once more, wetting the sheets below, your slick running down John's wrist.

John parts from your clit, nudges it with his tongue, his beard glistening with your juices.

"Yeah, that's fucking it", another one of his thick fingers pumps itself into your tight little hole and his other hand - also slick with your juices - grabs your thigh, "That's a good girl."

You feel so full, your spine feels like it's on fire and your brain tingles with it, sends wave of pleasure down down down your body; muscles in your loins clenching, chest heaving. It becomes all too much as he leans back in, rubs his tongue over your clit, lips sucking and teasing your folds.

The slight burn of John's beard tickling your plush, hot cunt. His fingers working your open and stretching your tight little hole open far and wide, obscene squelching sounds filling the air as he works you open, brushing against your g-spot occasionally and making you see stars.

But it's too little. It's just not enough.

"Fuck", you whine as John's thick fingers brush over your g-spot with quite some force, tongue lapping at your seeping cunt, "Shit, please. Please, just fuck me, please!"

You can feel him grinning against your wet cunt, beard a little sticky with your juices, letting go of your pussy with an obscene pop. "Yeah", he licks his lips, tastes you on his tongue, "D'you want my cock?"

And that - that might be what makes you lose your mind. Because yes. Yes, you do.

You have been craving to touch it, to feel it since it had pressed against your clothed pussy earlier. Thus, all dignity leaves your body with one, clean whine that breaks free from your throat.

"Yes, fuck - oh god, John", you brabble, legs falling apart further, inviting him in, his digits sinking deeper into your soaking wet hole, "Shit, please fuck me, John - please, please, please --"

Pleas are still falling from your lips like a chant, as a surprising noise breaks the silence, so strangely beautiful that it has you nearly shuddering: John is laughing. It's a nice baritone sound, and the fine lines around his eyes crinkle with it - it's so beautiful, that it drowns the world out. You watch him in awe, as he shakes his head, avoids your gaze.

"Jesus. Look at you", he huffs, voice dripping thickly with amusement, "If you need it that badly--"

Straightening back up and kneeling between your legs, John slips his fingers from your cunt and makes quick work of his belt, trousers, and boxers. The second he frees is cock, you start to drool like a fucking pavlovian-dog.

His dick is so fucking huge. It is nicely curved and cut, the bulbous pink head glistening with pre-cum and a thick, pumping vein at the bottom that rakes from the base to the tip, as it rests between trimmed, dark pubic hair. His cock bobs against his abdomen as it bounces free, smears the pre-cum along the pale skin, twitches at the sudden contact. And Jesus fucking Christ, you just want to fucking touch it, feel its velvety skin in your palm. But you just know that you won't even be able to wrap your hand around its base fully, it's impossible, it--

"I-it won't fit", you whisper, a little taken aback by his sheer size.

"Oh, I'll make it fit, baby."

John takes his cock in one hand, thumb right beneath its head, and rubs it against your slit. And Jesus fucking Christ. Your hips snap up, meet his movements, and he grunts while he spreads his pre-cum along your cunt, gathers your slick. The thick head of his dick prods against your entrance and you take a deep breath, looking down between your legs. You watch how he slooowly pushes in and you gasp at the sudden intrusion, the delicious stretch making you moan.

His cock feels so fucking big, hot, and heavy, as he nestles the tip in, your hole clenching around it. John's brows furrow, and he doesn't wait long until he pushes his cock in further.

The thick base starts to stretch your slim rings of muscles, a sharp pain shooting through it. He can feel your hole protesting, can see you wincing. "Breathe, baby", he hums, "Let me do the rest."

His coarse voice mingles with his words and the waves of pleasure shooting through your body despite the dull pain, conjures up a pretty pretty image that floods your brain - there's sunlight everywhere, orange rays of it hitting a bed covered in white sheets, sweaty bodies on top of it; limbs entangled, hands intertwined with their golden rings shining brightly in the warm light, heavy breathing and sloppy kisses, and lazy thrusts as his cock fucks you awake. The thought makes you dizzy, your legs falling apart and hole fluttering open, inviting him in.

The slight burn leaves you a gasping, whimpering mess as he pushes himself in deep, nestles his huge cock in between your aching, hot, and tight walls.

And John feels like he is going to pass out. No blow to the head, no bullet to the chest, no knife to the stomach could ever make him feel as dizzy as the feeling of your hot cunt squeezing him does right now. His whole body is vibrating with want and lust and he just really hopes that you don't notice that he has gotten a little rusty. The thought quickly gets drowned-out as he looks down, where his thick cock practically splits you open, vanishes in your hole.

"Shit", he huffs out, places one large hand on your stomach and thrusts. Feeling himself moving inside of you has him moaning, gaze shooting up to you, meeting your eyes, as his hand presses down. "You feel me right here, baby?", he rasps and you nod, mouth agape by the sheer force of his thrust, tip of his cock prodding your cervix.

John can see his cock moving inside of you, the way your stomach bulges a little. He gets a little dizzy with, and then his eyes make the mistake of moving up to your face. And it takes a whole lot of fucking will-power of him to not just thrust and thrust and thrust and fuck you until you cry, bleed.

You are so fucking pretty. Mouth agape you watch how his cock vanishes between your legs, splits your cunt open, with his eyes heavy-lidded and cheeks flushed. Your lips are plush and red from his assault.

Your hands grip the sheets and your breasts heave with your deep breaths, that grow a little more flaccid. Next to you lays his gun, knife still buried into the mattress. His eyes drop to the weapons and his breath hitches. And for a split second, like a flash of light, he wonders what in God's name he's doing here. He is a professional. The Ballerina works like that. He doesn't.

A sweet, sweet noise rips him out of his thoughts. "J-john", you mewl, eyes still trained on his massive dick splitting you open, "I-it, it's --"

"Yeah?", he breathes, the sound all soft and careful around the edges.

"Heavy", you breathe.

"Does it hurt?", he kind of wants it to. Make you pay for what you did to him. He kind of doesn't want it to. Make you enjoy what he's got to give.

John realizes he is fucked.

You nod, head flying back into the cushions, while your brows dart together.

John's free hand flies to your clit, nudges it gently, before slowly rubbing wide circles over it. You gasp, as you feel fresh wetness flooding your cunt and dripping down your folds to where his cock splits your hole open, pools around it. He carefully pulls out a little and then pushes back in, assisted by your slick. The way you moan spurs him on and the circles on your clit grow faster and smaller.

Aching your back, you lean into the touch. "That's a good girl", he whispers, voice raw and coarse, dripping with lust and the exhaustion of holding back. John bottoms out, while continuing to rub your clit and he can feel your walls growing plush, your hole fluttering around his dick, relaxing with your hot, seeping cunt inviting him in. "Feels good?"

"Yeah, fuck", you feel like you are being split open, with his thick cock filling you to the brim and rubbing along your walls with every little movement, the thick head prodding gently against your cervix, "Shit, John."

It feels so fucking good, all thoughts being washed away from your brain as he starts to move carefully, thrusts into you once, twice. You moan, lips slightly parted, before your gaze flies to him.

And Fuck. John's chest is flushed a little, muscles of his abdomen flexing with every thrust while his gaze is trained down to where his cock fucks into you, brows darted together a little and his breathing audible.

"John?", you whisper, and his gaze immediately shoots up to you as your comparably tiny hand wraps around the wrist of his hand that is still rubbing your clit.

"Yeah?"

"Fuck me."

For a long moment, he just looks at you and you think - no, you are convinced - that you can see a glimpse of the human being he once was. Caring, sweet and gentle; as he seems to really take it into consideration if you are ready yet, if you know what you are begging for.

Apparently, he does deem you prepared enough, and the soft gaze gets replaced by a dark gleam as all gentleness vanishes from his face once more. Without a warning, John rolls his hips back only to thrust into you again, deep, and hard, immediately picking up a quick rhythm.

It comes as a genuine surprise to you and you gasp, mewling but it quickly feels just so fucking good, practically lights your body up and leaves every nerve-ending on fire, each thrust has you moaning loudly.

It spurs him on, makes him grunt and for a while, you both just watch him gliding in and out of your tight hole, with him feeling your muscles squeezing him and you feeling his cock stretching your open further and further. Your lips as slightly parted and his brows are furrowed as he rolls his hips into yours and you feel time getting lost on you, the only thing of importance remaining is the feeling of him filling you up. John's hands roam your body, wandering over your thighs and your stomach, your hips before angling your leg, pushing the heel of your foot on his shoulder, and grabbing your ankle with one hand, his dick slips into you even further, balls slapping against your ass heavily with each thrust.

You can tell that John has not fucked in a long, long time. It's not the way he does it - all fluid, languid thrust of his hips, muscles dancing under the soft skin. It's mostly the way he pants and grunts - sounds just as desperate as you feel. And still, he has the stamina of a racehorse.

You can feel that he wants to prove it, too, as his free hand grabs your thigh and hoists your other leg over his hip bone, practically pulling your lower half off the bed in the process. Your pelvis now clings to his, obscene sounds of his cock fucking into your wet pussy filling the air while he huffs with his thrusts, yet does not slow down.

The grip on both, your ankle and your thigh are hard, and you are certain his hands will leave a bruise but you just cannot bring yourself to care. Deep down you know, that someone will see them: your maids, your friends, your family.

But all thoughts, all worries get swapped from your brain as your gaze wanders up from where John's dick hammers into you steadily, rakes over his defined stomach and chest and finally, finally lands on his face.

He looks downright, utterly, and breathtakingly -- pornographic.

John's dark pupils blown wide gleaming with arousal, his cheeks are slightly blushed and a thin layer of sweat makes him glow in the dim light of the living room falling onto the bed. It surrounds him like a halo, a Saint of Death and Decay, with his dark hair falling into his forehead and onto his shoulders. He brushes it out of the way with his stunted hand, a ragged breath making his chest heave. There is still some of your slick wetting his beard.

You can't help your mind from going there, from wondering how different things could have been. What it would be like if you had met me in a bar instead of him entering your suite, leaving the hallway behind him looking like a slaughterhouse. Maybe he would have laughed at your jokes, in the dim light of your favorite bar in the city. Maybe he would have liked the same music as you do. Maybe, just maybe, he would have brought you home only to stay the night and fuck you until you would have lost your goddamn mind.

Your hand wanders down your body, strokes your waist and hip in the process, before it languidly drops between your spread legs, two fingers darting out and rubbing circles over your sensitive clit.

John moves quickly, his usual deadly precision shattering your peaceful fantasy, his hand ditching your thigh and closing in around your waist. "Don't you fuckin' touch yourself", he growls, and it's the first time you hear real, actual emotion dwelling in his throat - not his toneless, cold and mechanical rumble. He sounds pissed. Offended.

And the best part is: it seems to get him fucking going.

John leans in, your calf still resting on his shoulder and the slight pain of the stretch is delicious as he nearly folds your body in half. You can feel his dick sliding in even deeper into your hole and you gasp and whine, one hand coming up to dig into his biceps to just hold on. Hold on, while he pounds into you with perfectly angled, deep and strong thrusts, hitting your g-spot with every single one of them.

You know that the suite's door is in shambles, that anyone could walk in here and see you having your brains fucked out by the man who is here to kill you - but you don't care. Part of it is, because the gun is still resting next to your head on the sheets. You could just grab it and shoot anyone dead in heartbeat, whoever is trying to disturb the pleasure that shoots through your body.

But it is also him.

It's the way John is towering over you, back hunched, looking all wide and powerful and deadly, with the way he shields your body from view and harm as he thrusts into you. As he pushes all his rage, adrenaline, and strength into your tight hole, groans, and pants into your ear.

There is nothing you can do, despite holding onto him, nails digging into his back, clutching his broad shoulders, fingers running over his tattoos desperately. He is fucking the living daylight out of you, your body moving like a ragdoll underneath the mountain of muscles and strength. Your cunt is being split open by his cock, as you feel him hammering into you and you feel like you are going to lose your mind, panting and moaning with each of his thrusts.

"John, fuck", you moan sweetly, eyes rolling into your skull as he pounds into you, "You feel so fucking good, shit --"

"Yeah", he huffs, his forehead slowly sinking onto yours, "You too, baby."

You can see his eyelids fluttering, feel his upper body heaving beneath your hands, smell the blood on his skin, mingling with his musky scent. Blaming it on the sickening cocktail of hormones that is flooding both - your brain and your body - you lean in, your lips desperately smacking against his.

And Jesus Fucking Christ. Does John kiss you.

Kisses you like he is starving for it, licking back into your mouth - his body pressing yours into the mattress with his whole weight and muscle, while still thrusting into you.

Your hands tangle into his hair, tugging at it. John moans against your lips and your stomach flutters at the sound, and you want more. One hand moves to lay at the crook of his neck and your tongue presses against his, licking back into his mouth. Adding some force to his neck you invite John deeper into the kiss, and he follows suite, steals you the last bit of air your lungs were holding. Panting you part from him, thumb brushing over the crook of his neck.

Greedily breathing against his lips, you can't help yourself. You feel so alive and you want him to wreck you, to leave something behind that you will remember for every day your heart continues to beat. Greedily breathing against his lips, you can't help yourself but to whisper: "Harder."

John blinks, hips stuttering. And then, he grunts. His hand digs into your waist as he grabs you there, hold you in place will his hips rut into you. Picking up a near brutal rhythm, obscene sounds of your slick being pushed in and out and in out of your hole as he jackhammers into your g-spot, the bedframe rattling as John's thrusts pound it into the wall - leaving you a gasping and moaning mess. His belt clinks with his thrusts and you cling onto him, sharp whines escaping your throat.

"John John John", his name leaves your mouth like a mantra, sharp and high-pitched. His head falls forward, dark locks brushing over your cheek as his temple rests against yours and then you hear it.

John moans.

It's a deep, carnal sound. Your stomach flutters and lust shoots through your body at the noise, your tight cunt squeezing his thick cock as you squirt around his cock like a broken fucking hose, wetting his pubic hair. You can feel it rubbing along your wet folds, the sensation making you mewl, leaves your hips shuddering.

"Shit", you breathe, hands cradling his muscular back and then you can feel his dick twitching inside of you, accompanied by yet another one of his sweet, sweet moans, "Fuck, John--"

He raises his head and your gazes connect, before he leans in, presses his lips onto yours once more. The kiss is surprisingly soft and in stark contrast to the way he ruts and pounds into you and then he hits the spot once more and -

Everything goes white as your muscles clench and unclench suddenly, as you nearly scream against his lips; your hole practically milking his cock as you cum, pussy gushing and squirting around him like a broken hose.

John continues to fuck you through your orgasm and his heavy breathing reaches your ears through the cotton candy, that slowly wraps you in as everything turns light and bright. He moans deeply against your cheek as he comes, too - shoots hot ropes of cum into you and paints your walls with it.

His movements still as he buries himself deep into you, cock twitching with each thick rope of his cum and you can feel him fill you up, as his massive frame slowly sinks down onto you.

Your legs grow heavy and the stretch of your left leg is turning painful and you - a little clumsily - pull it away from his shoulder, stretch it out. Your limbs start to shake and you close your eyes, drawing in deep breaths through your nose.

The room is silent, the air heavy with the musky scent of sex.

Your chest still heaves with the remains of your orgasm, bliss still spreading in your brain and your veins, making you feel like you are flying. Your heart is still racing, as you feel him moving again.

Blinking up at him, you can see him grabbing the gun.

"Don't", you say softly, voice coarse from screaming your lungs out in pleasure just moments ago, "Please, don't." You are not ready to scream yet again. Not ready to scream in pain, instead of pleasure.

John does not reply. He pulls the hammer back, checks the chamber - all with one hand.

"Kill him instead, please."

He freezes, eyes locking with yours. "Who?", he sounds just as exhausted as you. The wolf, tired out. The deer, bleeding, limping.

Call it Post Nut Clarity, call it Finally Taking Your Future In Your Own Hands, call it Emancipating Yourself. Call it Having Wrapped A Deadly Assassin Around Your Pinky.

You were not safer here. You never were. Just more isolated. Easier to locate.

Easier to kill.

Realization hits you like a blow to the head, your vision swimming.

See? I will not die today.

"My father. Kill him."

#i'm back girlies #john wick smut #john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick imagine #smut #my writing #keanu reeves #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #keanu reeves smut

[quinloki]

Hahaha jokes on you for saying people are qualified to speak to you bc now I’m even more encouraged to send you my thoughts

Jk. But I appreciate your acceptance of them. I’m currently trying to bully my IRL bestie to hurry tf up on getting thru one piece bc right now my options are limited like she’s in enies lobby now and I’m like pls… at least get to post time skip… I can scream about Law and Marco then

Omg ok so it’s peak squirrel brain hours for me rn so lemme try to tell you about this brainrot I’ve been having.

I literally have no idea where it came from but modern au, you’re a patron at thatch’s bar, you go there often and are friendly with thatch bc he’s a nice guy. Friends with Luffy. You go to said bar, having a great time with your friends, whitebeard crew shows up bc it’s thatch’s place obvi, but some other crew busts in trying to pick a fight. Somehow you get yoinked as a hostage bc the other crew wants to fight somewhere else (a trap duh) and it’s not a situation where they can get you out safe so they’re like yes we’ll fight you at this location but Marco is like I wanna come too, prolly cause he feels responsible maybe you were by the whitebeard crew bc you were luffy’s friend or you were flirting with Marco and that’s why you got snatched

And the baddies they’re like fine fine but it’s seastone cuffs. They got beef with him or something so they were down, plus having one of their fighters tapped out seemed smart

So you go off with them and both of you are just subconsciously trying to protect the other Marco even has you come sit on his lap bc the sketchy van you’re put in has stuff all over the floor and you’re wearing shorts/skirt and it’s conveniently freezing in the van so like, y’all can warm eachother up

And the baddies are like oh wait is it the Phoenix’s gf is that why he wanted to come and they’re taunting like oh the things we could do to your little gf and Marco is like just remember the cuffs won’t be on forever

Anyways they drive y’all around until the meeting time maybe taunting or roughing poor Marco up a little and finally they all meet up at this trap location except obvi the whitebeard pirates are gonna kick ass and come to the rescue and they take you back with them to heal any injuries/make sure you ok

BUT

Oh no one of the baddies gets away and starts posting all over the dark web about the phoenix’s weakness and everyone is like oh you’re in danger guess you gotta stay with us for awhile

And Marco was so nice so you just have a huge crush but he somewhat avoids you bc he feels responsible so you’re like oh he does not like me back oh ok

And idk they’re loosely mafia ish so some shenanigans ensue of people coming after you but Marco is always there to protect you and the tension is off the charts

….

That’s kinda as far as my brain got bc I keep starting over lmao

Ugh I wish I was better at making that a cute little story I’m so good at coming up with things in my head but typing them out is so hard T_T

But I hope you enjoyed my brainrot I’m about to head to bed and will most likely be thinking of it more <3

An Author friend of mine - far more successful and suited to the job than I am - said something once that really sticks with me.

The ideas are the easy part, writing is the hard part.

Some people will come to her with ideas, and want some sort of 50/50 deal for doing "half" the work, and honestly, no matter how well fleshed out the idea is, it's barely going to be 5% of the process at best.

I don't share that to put your idea down, not even a little, but I do mention it to highlight that you're not wrong. Turning ideas into stories is the hard part, and honestly I always love seeing that truth understood too. (Real fun is when you apply that to other things and realize that certain types who have "great ideas" are rarely the ones who make them reality, but they really want to continually tell you how great their ideas are changing the world >.> )

<.<

Moving on from my little rant, I have to say I LOVE THIS - KAZIEAI OMFG I AM FOAMING AT THE FUCKING MOUTH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS IS ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITIESTS SITUATIONS EVER!

I love everything about this!

AND THE ENSUING ANGST

UNNNGH.

So - I have to admit I have a Mafia AU Marco story I'm slowly working on. It's pretty complex so far, intended as a slowburn anyway, and I really want to incorporate this idea into it. I just love the vibes.

AND - lol - one of the points I wanted to sort out for it was specifically having the reader end up in the Main House for the Whitebeard Mafia family. This idea is PERFECT, a few adjustments for the reader type and the AU itself, and the vibes are there. It's a Devil Fruit AU too, so >.>

the reader as a hostage gets Marco as a "hostage", they're supposed to let her go at that point, but someone gets the brilliant idea that the girl keeps the bird inline, and Pops' prize bird keeps the other boys inline, so they're keeping both.

The idea of the doomed kidnappers thinking the two are together works, it'll be the 2nd or 3rd time they've met and yeah, there's been flirting, but nothing committal. So her staying at the Main House for protection still leave Marco with a sour taste - he does like her, but this situation isn't fair. He's too laid back and experienced to blatantly avoid her, but he makes sure there's always someone else around, excusing himself before his brothers can "leave the two of them alone" or anything.

In this particular story the reader is an adopted kid of Big Mom's, trying to get away from the mafia life to some degree, and more than that to avoid being married off for whatever reason by Big Mom in the first place. (this is grumbled about in the first chapter, so it's not some big reveal). That certainly adds another layer to things, especially if Lin-Lin sees it as an in to tie the two families together.

Ah, sweet Kazieai <3 I would love to utilize this wonderful idea you've blessed my morning with. Just because the idea part is easier than the writing part doesn't mean it isn't worth due credit ❤️Especially when it's just the scenario I was trying to come up with.

#quin muses #quin answers #reader insert #x reader #kazieai #marco the phoenix #the current working title is Accidental Ornithology >.>

[boxwinebaddie]

Oh u want Stan Related Things? (same tbfh)

How bout your favorite Stan as Toolshed headcanons 👀 (Toolshed my beloved)

riley...i want u to know that after i received this ask i spiraled so hard that i created an entire toolshed stan/superhero au and also very, very loosely based on pep...but not rlly its very different bc you know how i am all my stans and kyles are separate i guess. ( im insane!! )

but without further ado, here are some toolshed headstannons!

this got REAAAAAAAALLY long there is no spelling, the plot is crazy and its not refined, i just screamed a lot...but i hope it amuses u ok

( i have not played the game in years i just adapted what i could remember so i basically fucked all the canon up again for fun lmao )

before i start, i started some weird pinterest boards that i will probably refine and put up on the boxwinebaddie pinterest when its up but here is toolstan and ky...te? idk

yes they are very cute to me i love them very much help

( also in my au...fp are "good" + c and friends are "evil" )

-so we got stanley marsh, got hit by lightning as a kid! UH OHHHH

-everyone thought he was going to die but not only did he not die!!! he got super powers that NO ONE KNOWS ABT!**kinda help

( he also got a really cool harry potter scar im not sure where it is tho...all i know is that its hard to see it but its there, buried up in his hair/temple somewhere )

-SPEKAING OF HIS HAIR!!! ITS SOOOOOOO GREASY MY GOD!!! HOLY FUCK!!! GREASIER THAN ANY NCU STANS HAIR!!!!

( kyle gives him shit 25/8 for how gross his hair...but when toolshed has greasy ass hair...its bc 'He works with Tools stan! he's sweaty bc he works hard keeping us safe! *heart eyes*

stans eye is twitching oh my goddddd )

-in my weird superhero au stan and kyle have been sbfs forever and have been secretly in love with eachother/but not sure if it was reciprocated so they kept it a secret...they also kept their powers a secret from eachother ( kyle doesnt know stan is toolshed, stan doesnt know kyle is human kite/an alien )

( there might be some sort of xenophobia regarding aliens/mutants maybe? i think if ur classified as good u are praised ( the freedom pals)/a celebrity but if the world thinks u are bad u are so evil and deserve to die rip (c and friends ) the anti-alien/mutant agenda smh )

-they go to cu boulder together and are roomates!!! *meme vc* AND THEY WERE ROOMATES!!! where they bicker like a married couple all day long smh

-stan is there on a football scholarship, hes a wildlife/zoology major trying to become a vet tech >> veternarian ( hes dying ), works as a part-time mechanic with kenny at the garage ( yes stan b stealing the tools ) and ofc, the iconic legendary superhero toolshed of the f.p.

-yes he is fucking exhausted hes basically nocturnal because he gets home at the ass crack of dawn and falls asleep all day, misses his lectures, is failing everything...kyle is so mad BUT LIKE KYLE BEING STARTING QUARTERBACK, A SCIENCE MAJOR COLLEGE STUDENT WHEN UR FKN DYSLEXIC, SOMETIMES BEING A MECHANIC AND A SUPER HERO ON CALL??? life is rough 4 him

-sleepy...sleepy king...zzz

-in order to preserve their hero identities more i want to say both the hero groups developed methods of concealing their identities

-in fps case, wendy aka call girl developed a kind of green screen technology/or some sort of device that changes their appearances on the fly

-normal!stan is blonde like all my stans and has all the stan piercings ( i pierced his nose again haha ) but when he changes into toolshed and puts the presto-chango up it makes his hair black & puts him in the outfit BUT IT GLITCHED A LIL ONCE...oh my fkn god...so kyle was like...toolshed did u pierce ur nose? he was like FUCK then was like uh...ya! its something im trying out do u like it and hes like yeah it looks rlly good!!! my roomates nose is pierced but urs looks better <3

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

-kyle is...a toolshed fanboy its so....oh my god

-toolshed ( aka stan ) saved kyle when professor chaos picked someone at random and was using them as a hostage...i think he used a lot of telekinses ( toolkinese help) to save him & passed out

( fun fact if stan interacts w too much psychic energy aka really big tools/stuff that takes a lot of power to operate his nose starts bleeding and he passes out like eleven in strange things )

-ky brought shed back to his dorm room and tried to get him to stay the night to rest, grateful he saved his life...and stan was like oh my god it smells so good in here is that city wok...and kyle was like yeah! its takeout thursday it was for me and my roomate but hes never here and never texts anyways >:( ur welcome to eat it!!! and like DEVOURED IT

-now kyle picks up toolshed!takeout for when he comes by ( simp behavior ) and stan comes back from football practice like OOH IS THAT MAPO TOFU and kyle is like!! DONT TOUCH THAT ITS FOR TOOLSHED!!!! sahdksad *giggling twirling his hair kicking his feet in front of his toolshed poster...smh*

-kyle calls toolshed shed and toolstan accidentally called kyle...sigh kyle pile one time by accident and kyle was like??? uhhhhh what did you say? and toolstan was like I SAID KYLE FILE HAHA!!! *moves the file from his tool belt with his mind* yes kyle swooOOOoned

( he also is like wow thats so cute my roomate calls me kyle pile but!!! file is so cute! aw! its almost better! ( stan like HA! COOL! hope i die! )

-toolstan gave kyle a pager type thing do he can beep stan when hes in trouble and he'll come running...

kyle do....be beeping him for Non Emergency Reasons

-toolshed running from just stopping a bank robbery and was like kyle i got here as fast as i could!! are u hurt!!! and kyles like...ugh im having such a hard time putting this ikea desk together help me *cute eyes emoji*

he like randomly rings toolshed to move heavy stuff or fix his car or help him put bookshelves together...its so unserious...SOMETIMES HE BREAKS STUFF ON PURPOSE

-and stanstan is like!!! kyle i can do all that stuff!!! and hes like no its ok!!! i like when toolshed does it also stan how does my hair look

-also in honor of panderverse i made human kite kyle half black and now he just has a massive ginger fro and freckles and he is so stinking cute to me like hes soooooo fioooone ( also made stan wasian again i have no idea why it just felt right to me guys )

-i think hes a psych major? art history? something like that? he also plays on the college basketball team! ( yes stan b sweating )

- also defends mutants and aliens against slander by the government! he is pro-species! mutant rights!

-bc of the disguise technology its hard to tell What toolshed looks like bc his glasses are really reflective, wendy hooked him up with a voice changer device and he only shows up At Night

-but kyle draws him constantly in his notebook ( aw ) like stuff he can remember...what he thinks he looks like...sometimes he thinks he kind of looks like stan and feels insane abt it and is like STOP HAVING A CRUSH ON UR SBF WHO DOESNT LIKE U BACK DUMBASS TRY LIKING THIS GUY THAT ACTUALLY LIKES U

-also yes they are abt to kiss all the time and get INTERRUPTED

-stan uses the kyshed hangouts to get insight onto how kyle feels abt secret identity stan...and found out that kyle was in love with him for his whole life...but was like! but whatever! im over him haha dont worry abt him toolshed! hes being really weird and secretive anyways were kind of fighting rn ( boooo!!! )

-stan has to disappear all the time and refuses to explain where hes going just that he will be back Some Time and kyle thinks hes going to see wendy secretly and is mad as hell abt it they get into a lot of fights abt it its baaad:/

-think stan has a motorcycle/moped ( THE MOSHED ) that he refurbished himself!!! tyvm! i think he calls it gearshift its red <3

-ceo of drinking screwdrivers

-he can knock those back like noones bizz

-speaking of...sigh...drinking...on his toolbelt theres a metal flask that constantly has vodka in it and hes drunk all the time on the job and hits the flask whenever he needs an "oil change" or "refuel"

-yes he does make lots of tool innuendos

-kyle do be flirting w him really hard in the toolshed ensemble hes about to throw up every five seconds help

-stans toolshed catch phrase is "nailed it! <3" w the bbg wink peace sign combo wombo

-also he is ripped i said what i said he is scrumdidlyumsious he is fine as hell like he is constantly covered in car oil and grease and is sweaty but his aaaaaaarms are so toned the rolled up shirt like please THE JEANS like okaaaay slut stan! like they really were like u know what ur superhero outfit should be u should look like a magic mike construction worker...and u know what...he is serving what can i say

-the drill also has a grappling hook feature and its how he gets across building he is a metalsmith spiderman he hooks it to the top of the dorm building and swings down into his/kyles room

-( also its complicated bc at first it was stan saving kyle bc hes like thats my kyle! heart eyes! and was constantly visiting him as shed to speak candidly with him and his ego was huge bc kyle thought toolshed was cool...then kyle developed a massive crush on toolshed WHICH WAS CUTE until stan realized kyle now liked toolshed and not him asjdljd...

...so then stan got really salty and kept trying to talk himself ( stan ) up to kyle As Toolshed like 'uh ur roomate sounds really cool u should give hm a chance haha!' and kyle was like 'no its ok that ship has sailed i like when my men are reliable' SMH...stan tried to act like less cool as toolshed to get kyle not to like toolshed...it didnt work...so now kyle and toolshed are dating...secretly...help...stan is so stressed)

-toolshed and human kite have been slowburning some kind of enemies to lovers thing i think on the battlefield also...idk whats going on but there is Sexual Tension there! hello!

( idk there are two scenarios im not sure which

its either like kite was an ex fp and betrayed them for some reason ( some kind of misunderstanding/mindcontrol thing ) and tool/shed kinda had a will they wont they were superhero bestfriends and now they are like reeeeallly hostile salty quasi exboyfriends its a mess

or like kyle was angled against fp bc of the alien stigma and cartman formed that odds and ends outcast group and him and shed are constantly pit against each other

either way mysterion is trying to recruit kite to the fp and toolstan is not happy about it at all...but also stan is antideath and hurting people so he never actually hurts human kite kyle ever and even if theyre fighting and a platform is abt to collapse, stan will tighten the bolts and shift it away from kite at the last second, nose bleedin )

ur honor....when are they gonna kiss...like come onnnnn

-also bc kyles an alien i think he bleeds...blue or something its really weird...stan doesnt know abt it

-stan has a lot of dreams abt being saved by some kind of angel creature as a kid he calls it his gurdian angel…

-and its kyle as kite ( awwwww )

-kite also saves Regular Stan often and and reg stan is secretly like ugh my arch nemesis i cant like this guy!!! and acts really salty around him when tho he is a beautiful alien man and kyle is like heart eyes my best friend who im in love with fuck he thinks im evil i hate this...kite will save one person...and its irl stanley marsh im screamin )

-ALSO I THINK WHEN KITE GOES INTO TO HIS MUTANT ALIEN FORM HIS SKIN IS LIKE GREEN OR BLUE OR SOMETHING AND HE LOOKS LIKE A REALLY COOL KINDA SEXC REPTILE MAN LISTEN...HIS EYES GLOW...HOOO...HES MYSTIEQUE FROM XMEN

-its funny abt kite and stan too bc stan is trying to hate him but is starting to learn like oh he just seems evil but hes misunderstood and his eyes are very pretty i like his spots sahdlkshd and later un starts trying to convince him he is not a villian and is like...u know kite ur a much better person than me!! i listen to midwest emo and i cheated on my math test yesterday...ppl hate u bc ur an alien people hate me bc im an idiot...but also i am really cool haha...do u wanna kiss me <3

stan makes a lot of jokes abt being breathless bc of his asthma and i think kite like fixes his asthma w/ his power n stan is like wowzaaaa

-yes this is a weird au let me have this

-im not sure if any of this makes sense

-im gonna make a tldr

SO BASICALLY

stan and kyle: sbfs, roomates, secretly in love with eachother, do not know either of them are superheros/villians also they are constantly fighting because they are keeping secrets from eachother rip

shed and ky: kyle has a massive fanboy crush on toolshed, finds dumb reasons to get toolshed to visit him, does not know hes stan, eventually start secretly dating, stan is suffering in hell

shed and kite: sworn enemies but they have so much sexual tension

kite and stan: kyle/kite is in love with stanley marsh, saves him/helps him out often even tho hes a villian, stan is hellbent on hating him bc he hates kite as shed, but uh...is also...developing a crush on him

( this is so messy im screaming )

wendy and stan: both know eachothers real and superhero identities, help eachother out, very civil exs...wendy is a lesbian and has a crush on world famous supermodel bebe stevens let me have this

mysterion: NO ONE KNOWS WHO MYSTERION IS

conversely: mysterion knows who everyone is baby ;)

( except marjorine maybe idk? )

kenny, kyle, stan: besties! ( kenny knows who both of them are )

kenny and stan: stan got drunk and told kenny abt his superhero identity and kenny keeps it a secret and covers for him

kenny and kyle: kenny...caught kyle doing weird alien shit and did not out him...knows hes human kite

( yes hes trying to parent trap stan and kyle together its actually harder than it looks fml )

TADA

-uncle nina, accidentally made another insane au that makes no fkn sense lmaooooo

#this was bat shit insane #i hope this thrills u #i should have more abt kite and kyle sometime i didnt know if i was gonna make kyle kite in the au #but here is...my weird superhero fp c and friends au #basically they are both in love with eachother and dont know...like six different times #its so bad #mysterion/kenny is trying to parent trap them #i hope my pinterest screenshots are cute i love them #gay ass behavior omg #like and subscribe #the way they are in love with eachother and cheating on eachother like MAN YOU GUYS

[thesoleilla]

Hello dear sun,

I, the great gods of the gods of the gods, have arrived with a request for you!!!!!

I'd like to request for BSD yeah and uh Hurt Comfort YEAH

And i'd like uhhh Dazai x reader YE (that was predictable)

Uhhh Since i have no idea i will use whatever come to my brain !

Soo ! Let's say that we have a reader, a female reader ig with she/her pronouns because i said so ! And we have a Dazai ! Reader go through an existential crisis and ig she dissociate from herself and the real world so she gets confused and she just idk sHe AlSo SuFfEr FroM coTaRd SyNDRoMe

Good luck dealing with that!

Thanks !

Hi god!^^

First off thanks for the request ^^ I really appreciate it

And second off…

Here's your request!

(Srry I'm not really proud of this especially how I characterized Dazai but whatever this is my first time writing bsd stuff)

Also BIG trigger warning for s**cide

It happened again.

You got into a crisis and ran out of the office making everyone worry about you.

You didn't think this Y/N person deserved to be cared for but well, they probably thought listening to you was a waste of time right?

You didn't know what they found interesting about you really, you were just a rotten person in your eyes; but they tried so hard to make you see "the real you".

And you also looked for her, the agency gave you hope but she was nowhere to be found.

Every search ended in you finding yourself more and more rotten, and today you just couldn't stand it anymore.

So, after coming back emptyhanded again; you decided you had enough.

You carefully wrote a note and stuck it under your desk, hoping they'd only notice when it'd be late enough.

It was rather simple really, it didn't even reveal anything concerning but you figured they'd understand right away, after all this was a detective agency.

So, pretending you needed to leave for a mission, you ran out of the agency, tears filling your eyes as soon as you left.

But luck definitively wasn't on your side today as you randomly bumped into Dazai on your way home who was probably skipping work (again)

Uh oh, this wasn't good.

Why did he decide to skip work now of all times.

Well to be fair this wasn't very out of character for him…

But why does he always seem to slack off specifically where you are?

Couldn't he just find his own suicide place instead of constantly just picking somewhere between the agency to your place?

You brushed off your tears, hoping he hadn't noticed them yet.

"How could I deal with this without raising suspicion?"

Was a question you really didn't need to ask since Kunikida was already there about to put Dazai out of his misery.

So you planned to quickly run away while they argued back and forth for like the 6th time this hour.

But do things ever go as planned when you're apart of the Agency?

And the answer to that is a big no.

Because Dazai was already trying to use your "bad mental state" (his words not yours) as an excuse to avoid writing a report about his last mission.

God, was he really going to use that as an excuse?

Well, looks like he will.

And that really angered you, because you actually kinda liked him honestly, and you two definetively shared some traits; and you were starting to think that maybe he actually cared for your rotten self.

But well, looks like he didn't as he's litterally using you as a tool to slack off.

How nice of him. However, this doesn't seem to be working very well since Kunikida just grabbed Dazai, picked him off the floor and is screaming not very nice things at him.

Thanks for the distraction I guess?

That allowed you to discretly run away to your place without raising more suspicion than you already did. And you finally succeeded!

Pheeew that was harder than expected!

Maybe that's why Dazai struggles so much doing the same, you really underestimated how hard this would actually be… no, no you didn't want to think about this jerk again. Did he really lie to you about finding a not so rotten part in you for so long only to use you like that?

I mean it's not that you actually believed what he said or anything… but still that did hurt and you can't deny it.

Well, whatever you didn't really care anyways, he was allowed to use you like that I mean, it gave you a purpose at least... a dumb one but still! It was something, so you dying was useful! Yea,right suicidals help eachother! Well, I mean he did almost ruin your plan but whatever, you would have done the same! Right?

Aaaargh and there you were your mind drifting away from the task...Could you not complete such a simple task?

Knock.

Knock.

Knock.

Huh? Is dying without being interrupted really that hard? God, you were starting to understand him way too much!

But who could that possibly be... someone from the Agency perhaps? Nobody usually came to visit you so it's probably just about work!

However you did tell them that you were going on a mission... Could such great detectives forget about that?No...no that wasn't right.Dazai must have told the others so then...

IT WAS HIS FAULT AGAIN????

Man, you really needed to settle this with him in the afterlife!

"Y/N can I come in?"

Wait.That voice. Did he really wanted to bother you at a time like this? Out of all the people at the agency he's supposed to understand your feelings better! So why is he interrupting you like this?!

Could it be... he didn't lie? No,no this is Dazai we're talking about he wouldn't be actually serious about his reason to slack off! And maybe you just invented his voice and he isn't actually here!

"Y/N open the door or I call all the agency here. You know they'd come. So just open it. I promise, I don't want to stop you or anything, I just need to talk with you."

Okay, so this wasn't a strange hallucination and he actually wanted to talk with you? Huh that's weird... pretty out of character if you ask me

"Just don't bother me" you said as you slowly opened the door only for it to reveal a totally calm Dazai, strange considering the situation but heh, it was Dazai we were talking about, would he seriously be agitated by something?

"Wow, you finally opened it! I almost thought you were just going to leave me on the doorway!" He said, with way too much energy in regards of the situation...

"So what did you want to say that was important enough to stop my attempt?" You said, rudely trying to get him to tell you and leave as soon as possible, freeing you from him and freeing you from... everything really.

"Hey!Were you actually planning to do it alone? Do you really despise me that much?" He said, slightly offensed by your detachment.

"Ugh, no I don't and you know that it's just that all of your attempts have you know... failed and I'm starting to believe you actually don't take it so seriously... so no, I don't think you're trustworthy enough so that I'll succeed" You replied, about to kick him out if he says anything to anger you again.

"What do you mean"I'm not serious" do you really think killing yourself is that easy?Come on there's already someone stopping you as early so you should've realised how hard it is!" Dazai said, in a joking tone but you were starting to sense real anger coming from him and god that was one of the scariest things you felt in your life!

"Yes I don't think you're serious, you're literally joking right now, and besides I don't know if you're aware of this but you are the one stopping me right now so, will you leave?" You said pointing towards the door,trying to be menacing (you were failing miserably, but how are you supposed to scare an ex port mafia executive?)

He looked like he was about to start talking,so he apparently wasn't going to give up on whatever he was planning for you; and so you just decided your feet were very interesting and focused reallyy hard on them.

But he didn't speak, instead he just patted you on the back...huh weird but...strangely relaxing.

"Y/N?" He whispered into your ear as quiet as humanly possible, even though his humanity was indeed questionned by a lot of people.

"Yes?" You whispered back, really softly.

"This might sound really weird but.. can you stay in this world for a bit? I'm scared that the afterlife gods hate me for teasing them about dying for so long... and I don't want them to separate us as a revenge." He lightly giggled at the last part but he seemed really serious, and almost... hurt?God seeing him weak like that was definetely not something you'll get used to. But it was sweet, very sweet; he seemed almost vulnerable? Were you just having a fever dream right now? This can't be real. Dazai. The-old-executive-of-the-port-mafia-Dazai. That Dazai. That Dazai was also the one being clingy and really close to you. Is that really happening?

But you really didn't know how to respond, your logic told you to say no, not to stray away from your goal...but logic was fighting with another thing in your brain. Your feelings. You tried to supress them for so long...but the big wall finally broke down, breaking you down with it. Yes you felt good things about this person. And yes you were starting to feel good things about yourself too. And you don't have to be ashamed of it anymore. Because this part isn't ugly. It's just who you are and you're tired of hiding it.

But yea, you did breakdown. Your knees fell to the ground taking you with them. And soon your tears fell too. Every single thing about you was crumbling down. Whether it was physically or mentally. But a certain someone won't let you be ashamed of that. In fact, he was already picking you up and bringing you towards the couch, which was making your heart literally burst out of your chest. But he won't let you be alone in this anymore. Not after he saw you vulnerable like this. So he grabbed a blanket, put you on the couch and cuddled next to you. And you stayed like this for who knows how long. But after seeing you vulnerable like that, he decided that maybe he could show himself a litle more vulnerable to you too. And hell did that feel great.

You both were starting to slowly fall asleep (even though neither of you would have admitted it) but just before that you heard a soft mumble coming from the man right next to you.

"Y/N"

"Yes?"

"I won't allow you to try and die alone"

You giggled for a while "Only if you promise me to do the same"

"Of course...but actually I won't let you be alone anyways... not until you're fully better"

And at that moment you both knew, that you didn't want to be fully better anymore. Because you wanted to stay like this forever.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai x fem reader #hurt/comfort #request #bsd x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bsd x fem reader #bsd comfort #bsd angst #bungo stray dogs x reader

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Clone high season 2 live blogging

Episode 6

:( the dinner is going to be sold

Yeah I can see why some people don’t like the dinner because of the racial segregation….

Did some guy just buy to eat the dead wife????

👀 disabled Joan!??? Let’s goooooo!!!!! Detective Joan!!!! Awe cute Joan had a cat <3

“Psylly legs is build up nostalgia the legs get psylly”

….So Joan is just stimming???? (I thought she’d had restless leg syndrome)

If people bullied Joan because of her medical stuff, why didn’t Joan help Ghandi when people hated on him for his adhd? Also man does this town have an ableist history…..

Blood pack!!!!! Same big mood with the doctor not handling blood 😩

Yay Joan’s weird French films!!!! DAVID FUCKING TENNANT???!!!!!! <3 ohmgggg I love him as 10

Heyyy trash Mandy Moore lady is back!! :0

Did I meant I love the colors in this show? I do…

Noooooo jfk cheating on Joan? Wait…or not? Hmmm I feel like kissing another girl is bad…..FUCK is this is Total Drama and the Bridgette and Geoff scene >:( damn it!!! (Yes I know that they are 2 different shows but listen……hyperfixation™️ also my mom thought CH was TD lol)

Yay jfk and Harriet told Joan the truth….oh no Joan is going through so many emotions and drinking :0 hmmm 👀 (idk why but the little montage of Joan going rapid through different emotions feels like something bpd???)

Episode 7

Confucius parents took his sister to Bali but not him :( awwww his family didn’t care if he got lost in the dessert. Man Confucius family sucks, no wonder he tried to hard to be popular online, he just wanted attention :(

:( Abe and Joan army friends anymore noooo. Damn. Abe lost Joan and Ghandi, this dude is going through it….

My favorite background clone is Cathrine the Great, I think her design is so cute <3

The bus crash and now JFK brain is bigger….i think you have internal bleeding there bud…

“As a woke straight male ally let me put my lips on this unconscious black women to show how woke and straight I am” ……..topher bud….

Why is George Washtion Clever peanut man getting bigger??

Mr b using a short to cover his head <3

Ew why is jfk vice like that….

“Lo-fi haunted ghost screams” 👀

Smart jfk…Joan taking the lead. I feel like something bad will happen OR this is a dream.

:0 DJ Mr b!!!!!!

Cannibal dessert zombies….. scary!!

JFK calling people darling is cute :) <3

If jfk brain is smarter while in hot weather/if he’s overheating why didn’t this happen when he’s in the gym or doing sports? 👀

Smart jfk face : ☺️🫤

The husbands trying to snort each other 😏👀

Arroyo are gully in southwestern us….meaning the clone home is somewhere between Texas and California….

Joan wants someone who is emotionally intelligent and emotionally available….she and Abe become friends again……I’m guess they’ll end up together?

Episode 8

Oh snap they actually broke up! Also they co-own a tortoise? Cute

..,,,making the whole school sexual……😬 interesting…

“Where do you want the seaman to drop their load”

“For starters in my mouth” HA….🫵🤨 I know what you are doc

Frida having a crush on Cleo! Was not expecting that…Cleo doing her weird flirting again…was DEFINITELY not expecting that….

Harriet x Confucius is a cute ship….their such nerds <3

😬😬😬 the teacher flirting with Abe…:ma’am that not ok

“Virginity is a social construct” asexual Abe real!!!!!!!

I was going to say seaman I love you but I realize that sounds absolutely horrible out of context….

Singing pirates I love you and you talking about lgbt identity..

Topher the pirates thing you’re into Abe….. 👀

JOAN DONT PUT THE TOURTISE IN THE WATER JOAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!! Oh thank goodness Abe rescued the pet

“It’s ok if a minor and a teacher are together” not the fuck it’s not lady!!! Topher why are you filming this???? Call the police????? Topher please 😬😬

Oh thank god she dead. But ahhhhhhhh still hella uncomfortable!!!!!!!!!

The “statutory-rape-death-by-orgasm situation is very troubling” MR B WITH THE FACTS!!!!!!

“So we’re not telling the police?” You can Mr b! Please call the police. Mr b I love you so much for looking out for the students.

Topjer blackmailing Abe because he (topher) is into Joan…..🤨🤨 are you topher?? Are you really??

One one hand, I’m like this is a stupid subplot, Abe just tell Joan how you feel who care about topher and his blackmail. But on the other hand, this situation kind of feels realistic? Like a weird way to talk about victim blaming?

Oh thank god something positive in this shit show….yippie Cleo and Frida got together!!!

Joan underwater with the emotional music…her screaming underwater…..cinema™️ :) Joan and jfk having a nice talk :)…:noooo rip Shelly the tortoise

Background gay couple yay :)

Episode 9

Noooo the husbands are fighting AGAIN….oh yay Joan and Mr b time!!!

Omg Mr b lore!!!!

He has a human twin brother??? HES RELIGIOUS????? Oh snap biracial Mr b 👀

Wait nevermind…. Awww Mr b didn’t know he was a robot :( and nether did his twin

:( noooooooo!!!!!!!! He left his brother 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

OH MY FUCKING GOD Mr b was a sex worker

Noooo Mr b please contact your brother!!!!!

Awew yay Mr b life getting better!!! :0 he got married!!!

Noooo his wife cheated on his and his son wasn’t biological his!!! :(

YES!!!! The twins reunited!!! :0 awew he’s an uncle now!!! Wow 2 nices and 2 nephews!!

NOOOOOOOOOOO HES BROTHER DIED!!!!!!

👀 Mr b was an actor!!!!

🥺 awww he thinks of Joan as his daughter!!!!!!

NO MR B DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!

Oh thank god doc saved him!!!!!!! 🥺

Oh my goddd…..the cliff!!! The choices!!!!!!!

THETE FAMILY AND HE CRIED!!!!

Favorite episode!!!!!!!!

Episode 10

Oh thank god, it’s the last one!!!!

Ponce’s dad is back!!! :)

It’s the last day of the school year…the teens are 16, so there sophomores???

Clone high college :0 oh!!! I was wonder what would happen to the senior class!!

West Dakota?????

Since the sisters didn’t make it into the death maze, do they life? Get immediate killed? I forgot that the government is trying to groom the most successful clones. So I guess this is a survival of the fittest….and since the OG clones were from the first project, this is a very new things. (Trying to make a mental timeline thing.)

The four amgias….

NOOOOO VINCENT DIED (maybe not?)

4 boys who are friends-ish

4 girls who are friends

Battle of the sexist 👀

Also both groups are the main cast….ok not topher he’s more of a side character…but still..

Yay Abe and jfk friendship :)

Ok so this is my 2 favorite episode.

This gives me minor hunger games vibes. The whole government watching kids fight to the death part; not the trying to stop the government and corrupt dystopia part…

Oh hey! That weird one type flute thing, forgot about that! :)

Frida has 2 different shoelaces :)

Joan leaving the group because Frida chose her girlfriend over Joan. I mean, that understanding to be angry, but I don’t think she should leave the group….

Yessss jfk breaking topher phone!! :) now Abe won’t be blackmail anymore!!!

Gay energy jfk x Abe

Lone wolf Joan….hmm maybe she is the most powerful/sussefual clone they made? 👀

Joan setting traps to capture her friends!!!! She IS the most dangerous clone!!!

Ok Joan keeps putting people into holes, either she doing that so she the only one to hit the button and go to college OR she doing that to save everyone from the death maze?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHJHH Joan foster mom standing by Joan, using her daughter and grooming her to be the next leader!!! AHHHHHH I love it!!!!!!! Sidhaisn

!!!!!!!!! Them using the clones as backups!!!! Me think how it was weird that the government would let a clone die so easily!!! They won’t!!!!! The government controlling them to be successful puppets!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! The angst, and tension!!! The betrayal!!!!! Love it!!!!!

👀🥺 doc think of the clones as his children!!!!!!

They lost their memories!!! But Joan giving it back!! Her caring about her friends!!!!

Oh my god the stupid little hands gesture!!!!!! <3

….

That’s it??? THATS the ending? The mother showing everyone what Joan did during the death maze? And everyone being anger at her?

Ok, I feel like the twist to that, if there a season 3 is that her friends will forgive her.

Ok! Thought time!!!!

Ok, the fist half of this so is ROUGH! Like it has an idea (government wanting to groom the kids to be a successful leader) but the comedy and drama got a bit out of hand for the plot. I think want to say around 7-8 is when the show gets more, lore like? Or as close to plot as possible.

This season is VERY Joan centric. It gave her SO much character development. At first I thought it wouldn’t work, it made Joan feel like one of those not like other girls, and loser girl gets popular troupe. The whole love triangle with jfk and Abe was a bit rough. It was weird that Joan decided to be with jfk, after sleeping with him on prom night. But I guess since Abe was with Cleo and Abe only paying attention to Joan after she change herself, it make a TINY bit of scene.

The writing try to make it seems like Joan still loves Abe with that sexual dream she had, but I feel like after that episode, it wasn’t brought up again until episode 7. When Joan wanted jfk to be more emotionally invested in her. Also the whole Abe being in love with Joan? Also the random Abe getting mistreated it felt…..odd?

As for the other characters; out of the OG cast (Abe, ghandi, Joan, Cleo, jfk) only jfk had some character development. At first he was sexual with some emotional intelligence (when he comforts Joan at prom, him and Abe talking in the thinking dock, the whole ponce situation)….in season 2 he was more sexual with some minor emotional scene. I feel like episode 7-10 is were jfk is the most emotionally here.

Cleo….she basically only has 2 episodes for her character development. Episode 4, and Episode 7-8. In episode 4, she gets the crown and gets power hungry, after Joan apologizes to Cleo, she and Joan become friends-ish. In season 1 Cleo and Joan spend a lot of time together, because their parents were dating. They mostly argue but were friends-enemy? So Season 2 feel both a continuation of their season 1 relationship AND just a way to re-write Joan and Cleo relationship.

As for the other episodes? It basically her and Frida because friends to lovers. To be honest while the ship is cute, I wish it was more slow burn?

As for the new clones Harriet and Confusious. I’m mixed. Togher they make a cute couple. But separately I like them more as individuals. Harriet is the most developed out of the 3 new clones. She was awkward and a bit anxious (I think?) around episode 1, then as the show progressed she only hang around Frida, then she became closer friends with Joan. In episode 5 it’s really were Harriet feels the most….developing? She gets angry and worried over feeling Joan about how she feeling about the play! But she expresses herself and that cool!! She also has a weird little friendship with Frida, the 2 of them make a weird little group.

Confusions. At first I didn’t like, he was just a random guy who I hate his outfit. By episode 5, he gets some personal! He wants to have people pay attention to him! And by episode 6- 7, that when you know I bit more about him! He has a rich family who ignores him! His family likes his sister more and seem to emotionally neglect him. He’s a bit lazy and like to go with the flow and not have to work.But besides that…..I can’t think of anything else to say?

Frida. She’s…..there. She hangs out with Abe and Joan and Cleo sometimes. She paints, skateboards, and is the most popular girl in school. Besides that? There not a lot of info about her. It seems like this season had a few too many characters so they made Frida fade into the background…

At first I hate the new Joan new mom. (Candid? I can’t remember her name) I felt like she was a random character that didn’t need to be there. I felt like she was just there to replace the doc and just be annoying? But as the show progressed she was more of a background character that was silly. As for the final; I feel that were she shines the most!! Her wanting her foster daughter to rule the world, that idea is so cool!!!!! I love how she talk to Joan, how proud she was, and how she was going to use the clones as backup or to try to make them more perfect!!! She’s a character a feel like could work If she wasn’t stuck in a comedy.

My b my beloved <3

Topher is a dick. Hate how he blackmails Abe and try to push him and the gross teacher thing. Hate hate the show decided to do that. Like man!! If topper was really into Joan and wanted to blackmail Abe he could have done it a different way!!!!

The humor in this show….don’t feel there? I had like, a few chuckles but that was mostly because from the Doc. Or like from physical gags like the slow float or the couch catching on fire. The animation is fluid and I could see it like, a few times. The colors are a bit brights but I love the background!!! As for the voice acting….its a hit or miss.

5/10

Very Rough start but love the final 3 episodes.

#clone high season 2 #clone high #my thoughts #long post #clone high spoilers #fandom

[tiredgoodomensfan]

GOS2 hillywood + poster dissection (spoilers!)

so, i think we all lost our collective MINDS today

when I saw that we have the release date I actually started SCREAMING (I got lots of dirty looks.) anyways I have lots and lots of thoughts that I just need to get down somewhere so buckle up cuz this will be long, rambly, and prolly won't make a whole lot of sense.

First of all, huge props to the whole hillywood team, this was a really high-quality production and I loved every second of it. I'm watching the behind the scenes vid while writing this and it's really interesting to see how such an amazing video was produced. so much work was put into it and it really paid off. Thank you guys so much for making this!

So, the scene where Crowley falls. this could just be something fun hillywood decided to do, but the fact that they worked so closely with Neil makes me wonder if this is something that we might get more of in s2. The scene with the fire (which was awesome btw) maybe not be so much, but Crowley falling from what seems to be heaven into a puddle of what I'm guessing is maybe meant to be sulphur? (I don't really know what sulphur is so correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just spewing stuff here so it could be complete nonsense) idk to me it seems like foreshadowing, especially considering that Crowley's fall isn't discussed in that much depth in s1. idk that could just be me stretching cuz I want pre-fall Crowley SO BAD. and OH MY GOD IN THE VIDEO THEY JUST CONFIRMED ITS MEANT TO BE SULPHUR I FUCKING SGHA ITS THE FALL FROM HEAVEN I KNEW IT.

The post-parody scenes AHHH. first of all, I loved how they stayed pretty much word accurate to the show, with only necessary things changed. I loved Neil in this, Maggie, and Daniel. Does more Daniel mean more Adam? he could just be there for like a fun cameo roll but it got me thinking. if weird shit was happening the first thing Crowley and aziraphale are gonna think is 'Ah shit it's the Antichrist again innit' So maybe more adam s2? idk.

(Maggie was literally me. 'DO THEY HOLD HANDS??' girl is literally the entire good omens fandom)

('the wait and see clause' SO FUNNY BUT ALSO SO MUCH PAINN)

Ok, poster time.

First off, the way they're sat back to back?? no space between them?? and IS AZ READING TO CROWLEY?? :( They make me wanna vomit /pos

Also, I noticed something in the back. a shop outside with 'give me' on the front? this could just be a generic shop but I feel like everything in the poster is deliberate. doesn't seem to mean much now but I reckon we should keep our eye out in the background of any other posters and teasers and stuff we might get. this could just be me going bonkers cuz I've been deprived of new content for SO LONG but idk I could be onto smth.

I also wanna talk about the lighting decisions. the bright light shining on aziraphale, cuz yk- he's an angel but also a little glimmer on Crowley? now it could be interpreted as like 'Oh not all hope is lost for him' but I see it differently. the fact that Crowley's light is coming from below and Azi's is coming from above?? bit on the nose. I think the fact that we've been told that Gabriel is gonna feature heavily in this, is gonna make us primarily focus on heaven (the biggest light being on Az) but that doesn't mean hells gonna be out of the picture. I think, that through the first few episodes, we're gonna be focusing on Heaven harassing Az and we won't notice hell spying on Crowley (Crowley's light being smaller, yet still very much there)

More on hell, something I didn't notice at first was a lil tiny lizard in the bottom left-hand corner. I'm pretty convinced this is supposed to be shax. I mean, we've been shown that like all the demons have some sort of animal form (Beelzebub- fly, Crowley- snake, ligur- chameleon, etc., etc.) but as far as I know, we haven't had a lizard like that yet. it has a little fire tail and it's pretty deliberately hidden (either that or I'm fucking stupid cuz I didn't notice until like 10 mins ago) I think the fact that he's not the center focus is again about how through this hell will just be kinda spying on them rather taking a center focus so that we have our guard down and are like 'WOAH' when hell does smth. but you can't fool ME Neil, I'm expecting it.

Final little closing thoughts on stuff that could be irrelevant but maybe isn't. The clock- both hands on 6, 6 episodes, what else is 6? Is half 6 a significant time? or is it just cuz 666 and like haha devil number? the old ass camera in the bottom right-hand corner, eluding to maybe olden days Crowley and aziraphale pictures?? I would die. maybe also references a scene abt the invention of the camera?? or is it just there cuz Az is nostalgic and likes antiques. am I going insane or is that a new Crowley haircut?? Crowley and Az being back to back they LOOK SO DOMESTIC ILL SOBB

again, thank you so much hillywood for this amazing parody. and thanks Neil for FINALLY answering our prayers while leaving us with like a MILLION more questions, love you Mr. Gaiman

if you actually read this, thanks! that means that someone else is as obsessed and slightly mad as me. let me know if you've got any other ideas or annotations, I love literally everything good omens so even if you think it's a reach I WANNA HEAR IT!

Edit: I'm a fukin idiot and also blind. there are 3 lizards, and literally everyone noticed them (I can't find the third one (I'm pretty sure I need glasses)) BUT YK I still reckon it's shax. or maybe the erics?? oo it might be the Erics now im thinking abt it

Another edit: I'm actually REALLY fuckin stupid. the give me sign outside is Nina's shop 'Give me coffee or give me death' (I kinda forgot there were new characters this season) BUT YK maybe still smth?? idfk

#good omens #the hillywood show #good omens parody #good omens parody spoilers #good omens 2 #good omens poster #im going insane #neil gaiman

[justaduckarts]

Latest chapter theories (Because I'm impatient and this chapter has my mind shaking) So??? Sun??? Bad??? Well that seems to be obviously what that last JAW DROPPER of a cliffhanger line seemed to be implying, but that scene with a younger Sun and that mysterious book? Seriously has me thinking that Sun is either brainwashed/under the control whoever was in the book, or being seriously manipulated. Also, like 90% sure the book is William (I say 90 because last chapter I was debating if Sun and Eclipse's father was still alive). And should the book be good ol' Willy, I'm willing the friend who 'betrayed' him was Henry. Also the little world building info at the beginning?? I thought that was what I was going to do a quick theory over, but now I have SO MUCH MORE AGGHHH (Positive!!). So lesser gods are born of flesh but of higher power than humans and potentially of higher power than Higher gods, and higher gods have star fragments... Wouldn't Star Holder be somewhere in-between? They were born of flesh yet hold a power no other mortal has, even a power no god seems to have considering the gods all want their hands on them; Eclipse needed them to heal Julian, and Sun and Moon just... are doing their thing. So technically speaking she's a lesser god, but then she has the star fragment! So maybe an inbetween? I mean it may have been mentioned and I just missed it, but Pluto, Sun, Moon and Eclipse all had parents. They were all created somehow, so were their star fragments passed down onto them like how Star Holder's was passed from Pluto to them?? (Thinking back on it I remember Pluto talking about her mentor and the whole star thing so-) Star Holder is a greater god not clickbait??? Either way I am SCREAMING this chapter was so good!! Sorry for the lil rant your fic just has me in a chokehold vghjk (OH OTHER IDEA!! I forgot to include this in my whole section about Sun, but maybe he actually wants to control Eclipse to protect him?? Idk, Sun just seemed like he really used to care about his brother when he was younger, and it seems a bit weird that he hates him now. Maybe he is actually against the entity from the book, and the book is trying to get a hold of Eclipse?? Maybe Sun was the one who killed Luna, trying to frame Eclipse to lock him away and thereby protecting him from the evil entity... Or maybe he is Bad and framed Eclipse because he wants him gone who knows BECAUSE I SURE DON'T) Loved the update!!! Your stories always have me theorizing and second guessing myself, and I love it!! Days Of Laughs always had me doing that, but I was a little nervous spouting off in the comments, but you deserve to know how much you make me think!! Always checking the character notes at the end of each chapter!! ANWAYS RANT ACTUALLY OVER NOW HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Hello!

Waaaah sorry it took so long to get to this ask iofhrwo;fqwnf

Sun bad? What WAS going on with that book? :0 Who would be trapped in a book like that? What's with the rabbit symbolism? :)

As for the star fragments and the greater gods- It's been mentioned but not quite explained that a greater god will pass their star fragment onto their heir. This is how greater gods are made, their predecessor quite literally removes their own star fragment! The process is very slow and as the child grows and matures, they will absorb their parent's magic until eventually the previous greater god passes and the new one assumes their role. Greater gods can have plain old flesh and blood children and these kids usually become lesser gods (a lot of lesser gods are distant relatives of greater gods, like Elusia and Nova). But the star fragment is a big deal.

Also, I want to put this idea into the universe. The greater gods are carrying star fragments. The Star Holder is carrying a whole star. Not a piece. Think about that. :)

As for why Sun wants to control Eclipse? Well, we'll get there <3

Thank you so much! This ask was so fun to read and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA love all the theories, I love all the speculations ghuireleqh <3 <3 <3 I'm so so glad you're enjoying the story!

#justaduckarts answers #star holder #star holder au

[fantomette22]

(Do not respond if it makes you uncomfy, reading is enough) I am late for the party but IMO it is really hypocritical when people say you can't ship ghrmria if traditionally mourning dolls were made for children and then turn around and ship mria with a woman who addresses her as her superior and is a victim of nasty experiments mria is covering up. Everyone only bothers with nuance instead of just letting people enjoy things when it is the ship they dislike.

Hello anon! Ah I know what post you read hehe (it resume really well the situation!) Thanks for the support as well ! Some people (one person in that case, can really be hypocrite yes).

I want to talk about this. I mean it's been a part of the harassment I got but you understand I don't wanna scream it out loud everything either. I don't wanna discuss some stuff publicly either so I will keep it to the essential. And well I hope I won't get bother bc of this again. (putting the rest undercut it's a big long sorry 😅)

Alright so I never actually show the ask in question I got. Only in dm to some mutuals & friends. Idk if I should share it publicly so if you want just ask me privately there's no problem I will show it. I got tons of other dumb things too but I won't share them publicly. I'm not playing that game. I'm not answering to hate with hate.

Basically, like you read before the person "ask me" more details on my view on their relationship if I think the Doll is a mourning doll (that parents made for their children) (see my essay/analysis I made a few months ago on the Doll. I will need to update it one day XD so this person might have read it). I mean yeah I think she's similar/have a similar purpose as a mourning doll but she's special. She's not your typically victorian child morning doll TM. Then, they wanted to know more about my different interprets, AUs etc

Love when people disagree bc they don’t like you but then agree with people they like who said the same thing as you… genuine evolution ? Hm…

For real I would love to talk about my many interpretations /stories about this 2 characters (with multiple interprets contradicting each others) but I want a genuine question from someone I know / someone I can put a name one. (even sending the ask on anon but telling in dm who is it is ok too! 👍)

Not someone hiding being anon and with vicious intend. Not someone who's stalking my blog (not a follower), previously (and after) fake approval of my ship content* and harassed me repetitiously for weeks if not months because I interact some times to times with someone they don't like.

*before that I got a "backhanded fake approval" over some drawings I did. Telling me "oh it's cute and all. You're doing it the right way" but then twisting it in a disgusting way with some awful sexist comments... trying to pass the fans of the pairing (and myself?) for bad people I guess? I did answer to it but call them out a bit too. It's on private now. I might have a link somewhere (because well I did spend some times writing cool ideas I want to keep for later)

At first I wasn't sure it was the same person (the fake approval, thoughts about the morning dolls and the harassing asks). But I had doubt so I never answer it. I'm glad I did because surprise ! IT WAS THE SAME PERSON all along ! (when I block ip address it was all deleted) Like wow harassing me, trolling me and trying to fake a genuine question before harassing me more? wow people are sure fascinating. (I really want do believe in you bud ! hope you become a better person !)

I took some precautions as well after all of this. That would be a shame to go private or disable anon ask for 1 bad behaved person. I hope it will be alright now and that I won't get bother anymore.

So about the other ship you mention... at first I was positive toward it but because of a few persons well I tend to be way neutral towards it now (and it's still the main thing in a minor AU of mine lol). Personally, I think, because of my view of Blood.borne world, the healing church, the research hall... that after the experiments began on her it doesn't really work/make sense for me anymore... But I won't go bother people who imagine/interpret a softer version just to be happy and have fun ! got for it guys!

But for real the wort ship experience I had so far was in Kingdom H/earts fandom XD (love this series too) imagined you follow smn cool (twi.tter) and they indirectly punch you? "oh I know the difference between who's a friend and not if you ship characters a&b or not" 💀 like wtf sure you prefer them being friends but don't insult people liking the paring ? specially when there's clues about it idk??

I feel it's more a problem of respecting other people (& their thoughts) than proving they're not canon/ accurate or not. it's not even analysis against facts it's just how I think your ideas (and you) sucks because it's my ideas are not the same.

It’s impossible to 100% agree with everyone about everything. But if it’s not hurting anyone/ dangerous ideas just minimum respect pls. That already hurt enough people throw history and still today (but well the internet..)

I would love to talk more about the characters I love really but all this is making me exhaust mentally. Even when people are nice and calm about it I'm still concerned smn is gonna understand things wrong and just decide to go bother instead of just ignoring it.

#my asks #personal #ask drama? #anon harassment #anon hate

[ftm-radio]

okay, I'm diverting from the default ask/answer format for this one because there are mentions of sensitive topics. I generally prefer to avoid these topics (though i dont have that posted anywhere, so no worries, anon) but I do want to answer anyway to try and help out.

I'd rather err on the side of caution for anybody who does not wanna read any of this, so I'm putting the ask and my response under a cut.

⚠️cw: brief mentions of sex & horniness, along with concerns about fetishization

Anonymous:

So…I don’t really know how to phrase this but I’m hoping you can help and this isn’t creepy. I’m a straight cis woman and have never had dysphoria beyond what I assumed was normal puberty woes (hated my chest getting bigger, hated getting a period, hated dresses). Recently something came up during sex that put the thought in my head of having a penis and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I bought a binder and almost screamed with joy at how I looked but chalked it up to looking skinnier without my breasts in the way. (I’ve always had body image issues and I thought it was about weight but now I’m…not sure?)Today, “just to see”, I stuffed my pants with socks and I swear I almost passed out with how amazing it looked and felt. But with each of these explorations has come a really strong, idk how to better phrase it, horniness, like more than I’ve ever felt before when dressing up my female sexiness. So now I’m really confused about whether it’s like I’m just feeling confident and sexy and that’s why vs maybe I’m fetishizing? I don’t know any trans guys so idk if this is normal or if I’m being gross. I’m sorry if this is offensive and weird and you can ignore me if so but i just feel so bad and confused and idk what to do or who to talk to.

okay so right off the bat I wanna assure you that no, this is not creepy, offensive, or weird! you aren't doing any harm by exploring your gender and/or how you present yourself. it's totally fine to try new things and experiment and question! (it can be fun & i feel like more people should do that, tbh.) and I'm not an expert on what is/isn't fetishization, but what you're describing does not sound like fetishization to me. so I hope that helps you feel better and eases some of the anxiety!

Now, there's a lot more to discuss, so I'm gonna get right into it. This will be wordy. Buckle up.

Let's start with dysphoria and euphoria.

You mention hating when your chest got bigger, and I definitely understand that. I didn't actively start disliking my chest until after I realized I could potentially be rid of it, but for as long as I can recall I've been emotionally distant and uninterested in that part of me to such an extent that as a teen I would occasionally, uh... daydream about getting breast cancer and needing to have my breasts removed and then thinking, 'yeah,,, I'd be fine with that.' hahaha #justgirlythings amirite?

You also mention possible body image issues around weight. I'm a fat trans guy, and before I realized I was trans I also thought all my problems with my body all revolved around the fact that I was fat, that that was why I was uncomfortable and why I felt like my body didn't fit. I didn't know anything about dysphoria or trans people until I was an adult, so all I knew growing up was that being fat was "bad" and that's what I got bullied and snickered at for, so *of course* that was why I felt shitty about myself!!! Yeah, not quite. My brain just didn't know what the problem was so I directed all the blame at the thing I did know about.

But nowadays, I'm just not as bothered by my weight/body shape. I felt like my only chance at being happy as a girl (or a.. woman, I guess. ew.) was to be thinner and fit society's beauty standards as much as possible, but now I know that I can be happy just being a guy. any guy. fat, thin, buff, somewhere in between—I'd be content anywhere in that spectrum as long as I'm a guy. It wasn't my size/shape that was the problem, it was my gender, and gender dysphoria. And maybe that's how it is for you, too. it's something to consider, at least.

Okay, moving along! so dysphoria is the crappy part, the discomfort and distress. Let's get to its fun (and much cooler) cousin you may not have heard much about: gender euphoria!

See, what you experienced when you tried a binder & packing for the first time sound quite a bit like gender euphoria to me. In my experience, the first few times you feel euphoria are the most intense and vivid because its a big shock to your system after however many years you've gone feeling not-quite-right. And then after a while you kind of get used to it and it's not quite so overwhelming. It's like first you have these crazy fireworks going off, but then it simmers down to a cozy little candle. Still glowing, still warm, but it's more familiar, more like home.

You also mention feeling a different kind of excitement (horny) and I'm.. not sure I can help you much with figuring that out. 😅 I'm decidedly quite asexual, so I don't have a whole lot of experience with uhhhh sexy feelings and whatnot. I do think you could definitely be feeling way more confident in yourself and your appearance, and that might be what's leading to these feelings, but that's as far as I can guess.

I can at least attest to the fact that binding and presenting more masc made me more confident in my appearance and feel better about myself just like, in general, so for someone who is more inclined to ~sexy feelings~ than I am, I think it would make sense for you to feel hotter? idk, I don't really go here.

now, regarding your worries about fetishizing. I already said before that I don't think that's what's going on (and i still stand by that) but I just want to explain that a little more. Your excitement seems to be focused more on yourself and what you're doing than, say, trans men or trans people in general, so I don't think that's a fetish. If you were specifically lusting after trans guys because of their transness, that would be fetishization, I think. In my opinion, it sounds like you're just feeling yourself out and learning what makes you feel good, and that's perfectly fine. Nothing wrong with that. :)

As for not knowing what to do about all this, I would say that reaching out to somebody (me, in this case) is a great first step. If you're trying to figure yourself out and what you want, then research can help, especially if you don't know a lot about trans people and the lgbt+ community in general. Obviously you found my blog, but there are plenty of others you might find helpful! I specifically recommend @ transgenderteensurvivalguide as they have a lot of info and resources that have helped me out (despite not being a teen, lol).

Another option for you (in addition to research) is to dig down deep and do some journaling!!! yeah. sorry. it's kind of my go-to. write about what you're feeling and ask yourself questions. (If you want a sort-of guide thing for this, I answered another ask recently-ish on my blog where I had a bunch of example questions that i myself have used when journaling.)

If you want to jump right in and try more than binding or packing, you could also try experimenting with what pronouns you use! whether it's in-person with safe people you trust, or with an anonymous account online that your friends/family won't find, that could help you get a sense of what's up!

Okay, i think that's all I've got right now. This wound up pretty long, as per usual, and responding to this took a bit longer than I meant to, but I hope you're still hanging around and this can help you out, anon. I also hope anybody else who reads this can benefit in some small way.

I think one of the most important things for you to do is to go easy on yourself. Gender is way more complicated than our cis-iety (cis society, I 100% stole this word from someone) teaches us. it's okay to be confused and not know quite where you're at, and it's okay if you don't have an answer right away. you have time to figure this out. hell, you can take as long as you want. there's no rush! nobody is standing at the golden Gates of Validation with a stopwatch to see if you're fast enough to get in.

if you have more questions, my inbox is open, and I wish you the best, wherever you end up.

💜

#ftm radio #listener call in #ask #anon #questioning #trans #transgender #ftm #gender questioning #gender identity #gender

[elliebartlets]

veronica mars rewatch 1x13: lord of the bling

• these pop culture titles are killing me

• I recognize this hip hop artist guy but cannot place him

• “how did a man like me end up with national black velvet and urkel?”

the way his kid actually looks like urkel 💀

• “we used to be friends. a long time ago.”

*cue theme song* a long time ago we used to be friends.

Ok I see what you did there.

• also how was Veronica friends with that girl and not know her dad was a hip hop producer/singer/whatever tf he is??

• MONIQUE COLEMAN?!

• sorry anytime there’s a guest star I recognize I gotta scream about it in all caps

• oh no what went down between Veronica and Yolanda?

• “if you really want flowers dying seems to be the way to go.”

so real. my grandfather died a couple weeks ago and there’s been like 5 flower bouquets

• of course Aaron’s all sappy and sentimental about his wife now that she’s dead

• “You hear of a rapper named Dime Bag?”

“Dad, I thought you read “Vibe”. Not my boo? Thuggin’?”

“Lovely tunes, I’m sure.”

• Veronica has some serious guts to put herself in situations and pretend to be people re: pretending to work for the hotel and showing the rappers to their new room so she can bug it.

• Logan had every right to physically assault that reporter imo

• why do I feel like Yolanda’s brother had something to do with her disappearance?

• ohhh Logan made out with Yolanda. That’s what he was talking about with the counselor in the previous episode, about how he wish Veronica never told Lily cause they would still be together and she might be alive.

• so I guess the Bone’s lawyer’s son had something to do with kidnapping Yolanda because of what Bone did to his dad

• omg Logan thinks his mom’s still alive. I forgot about that.

• I really do like his reasoning though, with the story of his grandfather’s “free at last” lighter being left behind by her a “sign” that she’s just escaped the life she hated and not dead.

• also I never watched season 4 but I think I read somewhere that in that season it comes out his mom is still alive???

Idk, but I DON’T want confirmation on that cause I may watch season 4 after rewatching these seasons

• yeahhh idk I’m with Lilly on this. I completely understand why she’s pissed at Yolanda and the fact that Yolanda tried to tell Veronica that nothing happened when Veronica saw her and Logan kissing. And then tried to backpedal it by saying he kissed her. I mean come on. That might be true, but she didn’t even try and pull away.

• ha so the brother was involved in something. damn, scamming his dad into thinking his daughter was kidnapped and taking his ring, that’s cold.

• so she just ran off???

• she ran off with the lawyer’s son and got married?!?! she’s like 17 wtaf

• well this was wild.

• and now Logan wants Veronica to find his mother. Yikes. That’s not gonna end well.

#veronica mars #vmars #lord of the bling

[thecoddaughter]

GUTS as QSMP

Hey, yall! Quinny back with yet another album breakdown. This time: Olivia Rodrigo's 'guts'

(read below the line <3)

song: all-american bitch

characters/context: jaiden and baghera, general characterization

key lyrics:

“I pay attention to things that most people ignore” “And I am built like a mother and a total machine. I feel for your every little issue, I know just what you mean” “I forgive and I forget” (hahaha yeah they forget a few things… like their whole lives!) “I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist I scream inside to deal with it, like, "Ah"”

song: bad idea right?

characters/context: foolish about mariana (only in the meme sense, i swear…)

key lyrics: 

“Yes, I know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect? I only see him as a friend. The biggest lie I ever said!” “And I told my friends I was asleep but I never said where or in whose sheets”

song: vampire

characters/context: baghera about the federation 

key lyrics:

“I used to think I was smart but you made me look so naïve. The way you sold me for parts as you sunk your teeth into me!” “You're so convincing… How do you lie without flinching?”

song: lacy

characters/context: foolish about jaiden and cellbit being the federation’s favorites

key lyrics:

“Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of Hell?” “Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time, watching, hidden in plain sight.” “The sweetest torture one could bear” “Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots. You got the one thing that I want.” “You poison every little thing that I do”

song: ballad of a homeschooled girl

characters/context: jaiden, general characterization (i kinda wanted to put juana but this is more funny)

key lyrics:

“Cat got my tongue and I don't think I get along with anyone” “I broke a glass, I tripped and fell. I told secrets I shouldn't tell. I stumbled over all my words.” “I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy. Searchin' "how to start a conversation?" on a website. I talked to this hot guy, swore I was his type, guess that he was makin' out with boys, like the whole night. Everythin' I do is tragic. Every guy I like is gay.” (she’s literally in a qpr with a gay couple but still funny to me) “Don't let me out at night! I'm shocked I'm still alive!”

song: making the bed

characters/context: dapper, general characterization

key lyrics:

“Want it, so I got it, did it, so it's done. Another thing I ruined, I used to do for fun.” “I thought it, so I said it, took it 'cause I can. Another day pretendin' I'm older than I am.” “Push away all the people who know me the best but it's me who's been makin' the bed.” “And every night, I wake up from this one recurrin' dream where I'm drivin' through the city, and the brakes go out on me. I can't stop at the red light, can't swerve off the road. I read somewhere it's 'cause my life feels so out of control.” “They're changin' my machinery, and I just let it happen.”

song: logical

characters/context: idk????? Part of me wanted to but fit and spreen but I know nothing about their relationship.

key lyrics:

song: get him back!

characters/context: (i want put 4halo again but i shouldn’t so you are getting nothing. Listen to the song still its a banger)

key lyrics:

song: love is embarrassing

characters/context: badboyhalo and forever

key lyrics:

“And now it don't mean a thing! God, love's f-----g embarrassing” “And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy. My God, how could I be so stupid?” “I placed my bets and it's not worth anything. I give up, give up but I keep comin' back for more!”

song: the grudge

characters/context: slime to mariana (i’m mean, sorry! this is in the context of juana)

key lyrics:

“I have nightmares each week about that Friday in May. One phone call from you and my entire world was changed.” “You took everything I loved and crushed it in between your fingers and I doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but I hold on to every detail like my life depends on it.” “And I know in my heart hurt people hurt people and we both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.” “But even after all this, you're still everything to me and I know you don't care, I guess that that's fine.”

song: pretty isn’t pretty

characters/context: leonardo, especially the day before being taken

key lyrics:

“Bought a bunch of makeup tryna' cover up my face” “'Cause there's always something missin'. There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong “You can win the battle but you'll never win the war. Fix the things you hated and you'd still feel so insecure.”

song: teenage dream

characters/context: eggs, general characterization

key lyrics:

Pomme - “When am I gonna stop being wise beyond my years and just start being wise?” Leo - “When am I gonna stop being a pretty young thing to guys?” Dapper - “When am I gonna stop being great for my age and just start being good?” Richas - “When will it stop being cool to be quietly misunderstood?” Tallulah - “And when does wide-eyed affection and all good intentions start to not be enough?” Dapper - “When will everyone have every reason to call all my bluffs?” Ramon - “And when are all my excuses of learning my lessons gonna start to feel sad?” Chayanne - “Will I spend all the rest of my years wishing I could go back?” JUST IMAGINE THEM SCREAMING THIS LINE: “​​Oh, they all say that it gets better. It gets better the more you grow. Yeah, they all say that it gets better. It gets better, but what if I don't?”

#qsmp #qsmp as songs #qsmp eggs #qsmpblr

[strawberryspeachy]

I stopped journaling a while ago cause i was like

Ugh im so lame and have stupid thoughts and going back and reading it makes me sad

Who the fuck am i talking to anyway

Also my memory is fantastic so why even

But i did that at the wrong time

Cause i should have been journaling my entire time in japan

Lol like I’m so dumb what a stupid time to stop

But like i guess its more that i always call my friends and just tell them about whats going on and its always always always so fuckint stressful and terrible that to write about it would just make me relive it

When i was in middle school i had dajavus ALL THE TIME all the fucking time

I didn’t understand them.

There were like 3 different types

1) something i saw in an actual dream before

2) feeling like i lived this before - the regular one

3) some voice telling me if i did something another thing would happen

3 really fucked with me. Until this day sometimes it comes up. Idk what it is it was nice when i was young cause it just told me things and helped me learn things i wanted to know (like my crushes birthday immediately after i wondered about it) or helped me become closer with people

Now… it tells me terrible terrible things that i have to ignore and offsets panic attacks

But i think i know what 2 was now. Cause i had them ALL THE TIME in middle school. And i loved middle school. It was the best 3 years of my life. I know sad. But i think about and yearn for those days all the time.. i think my dejavus were me thinking back and trying to put myself in that spot.

Anyway. In high school the dream ones… they stopped being about my life then and started being about my life as an adult. They were horrible horrible times. Id wake up with my heart feeling like a shriveled raisen. Screaming crying dry heaving.

Id wake up terrified-horrified. Id open my eyes and see my room and feel so much relief. I was so happy to be there. Id run to check on my mom who’d be sleeping in her bed around somewhere on the offtimes id have one of those nightmares during the day.

I knew it was my future. I didn’t want to live to see it. I was trying so hard to escape and the worst feeling of all was that my mom was dead.

Well I’m here. Im in the future i always woke up gasping screaming and crying from. But I can’t wake up anymore.

I have no home. No cushion. Im alone. Im treated like shit. My mom is gone

Every time i go to sleep i wish wish wish id wake up in my room again. I think everytime my wish is strong enough I’m for a millisecond taking over my teenage body

Because sometimes i can see it all. I fan smell it. I can feel it. Just for a brief moment

[an-anxious-teen-thought-corner]

Write a funeral from the point of view of the death person. It was a prompt I saw somewhere but idk where lol (Also, I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m not a native English speaker)

I stared at the corpse laying in the casket. There was no sign of life anymore, yet it looked more beautiful than when it was alive.

It felt weird to stare at my own body, I guess my mind was still processing the fact that I died. Am I a ghost now? I didn’t know and I honestly did not care. All that matters is that I died and I couldn’t go back even if I wanted.

My mom was silent while receiving the rest of the guests. A lot of people had come, more than I thought they would. I didn’t recognize half of them. They probably were friends of my parents and came to support them. The room was full of whispers, occasionally being broken by cries and sniffs of some of my aunts. I was not even close to them, yet they were acting as if I were their own child.

I sat at the top of the open coffin surrounded by all the flowers, thought that maybe that was the place for me. After all, I am the one being mourned.

The religious event started and ended in the blink of an eye. I spaced out most of the time. I think that at some point my mother broke down. Her eyes were now read from the tears and her normally perfect tied up hair was now down, not even brushed. Even her make up was rushed and messy.

She was the first one to come up to my casket before they closed it up. “I am sorry… I am so sorry” She broke down again. “I wish I could have done more for you”. I stared at her with guilt. My mom deserved the daughter she wanted, but instead, she was given a selfish kid that was too tired to even try to survive life. I am sorry I never became the daughter you wanted, at least this way you won’t maintain the hope of having her someday.

After her, my father came up. His normally stiff expression was softened and his sharp gaze was now completely lost. He had always been a figure of strength, a pilar of fortitude for everyone around him. I had never seen him more vulnerable than now.

My siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts and friends, they all had the time to say goodbye to me. All of them told me what they would never dare to say in life. It was easy to feel the regret and sorrow in their voice, with each word I could feel my heart sinking deeper into my soul. I wanted them to stop.

When they finally closed the casket, the cries and sobs of sorrow and pain were so loud for me to bear. How I wished they would just stop. They put the coffin with my body up in a car to bring it to the place where I would be buried.

I decided to walk along my family, who were holding each other tightly, too scared of losing someone else. My feet felt so light, yet I was walking with the weight of the tears of my love ones. I have always hated these melancholic environments, but it feels even worse when I’m the reason.

It felt like an eternal walk under the bright sun but I couldn’t feel any heat. I could see the wind moving the trees but I couldn’t feel the warm breeze hitting my body. I felt hundreds of emotions but I couldn’t let them out. As if I were dead but at the same time alive.

The rest of my funeral passed quite fast. My family being the only ones left, their lost gazes staring at my tomb full of flowers. For a moment, I felt as if I were still there. As if I were mourning the loss of a love and with them. But of course that was not the case.

I saw their figure slowly disappear in the darkness of the night as I sat there where my body had been buried. I finally had a break from the crying, only hearing the sing of crickets and the ocasional movement of animals in the threes.

A sense of grief finally hit me. I let myself fall into the ground, completely losing any sense of calm as my tears violently run trough my face. I screamed in agony. I had finally done it haven’t I? As the mess I was I didn’t try to survive. I just gave up in life. I am so sorry. I am so sorry I was so weak.

The stars were shining over my grieving soul. I kept sobbing for a while, curled up into my body, not wanting to face the tomb in front of me. But just as fast as the pain came in, it suddenly calmed and completely stopped. A letal calmness.

The sun started rising, turning the sky into a beautiful colored canvas. I rise my head prepared for the afterlife. I wish I could say I regret dying, but that would be a lie. My heart couldn’t help but feel happy. Happy that it finally ended, that I could finally rest. I slowly closed my eyes, as I disappeared into the earth where I would eternally rest.

#writing #short story #writing prompt #tw death #coffin #mourners #funeral #freedoom #my pov

[i-am-the-quintessential-queer]

.

#my thoughts are racing and i needed to put them down somewhere #um lots of trigger warnings here #like honestly if your sesnitive to certain things i strongly advise not reading #um #okay well first of all #i am having the worst dysphoria of my life. i literally am causing pain to myself to try and ignore it #its seriously causing my mental health to plummet at the momeny #moment* #i literally have ‘i want to die’ and ‘kill yourself’ on repeat in my head right now #i dont know what to do and i feel like im not being heard half the time #like i feel like im screaming for help half the time and people just brush it off bc my mental health issues arent as noticable as others #i also have class that starts in like 5 hours and i cant sleep #i just all around feel like dying at the moment if im being honest #i think thats the bulk of it #idk i just hate feeling so dysphoric and helpless #yeah i guess thats it #vent in tags #rant #tw vent #tw rant #tw self harm #tw suicide ment #self harm tw #suicide ment tw #tw dysphoria #dysphoria tw

[natewriteslol]

Hey! Could i request the dorm leaders with an esper MC? Kinda like Mob psycho or Saiki k :) and maybe they don't really use this ability of theirs that much since in their world they're literally a teen who's trying to live a normal life(like Mob basically), so nobody knew about their psychic powers except Grim since the mirror said that he couldnt sense any magic in them(i'm pretty sure that psychic powers don't really count as magic but idk lol).

Feel free to ignore if you don't wanna write it! :)

 A/N: Ooh this was a fun one! I haven't watched Mob Psycho (I know about that fine ass blonde man-) but I have watched Saiki k and I loved it, still need to finish it tho jlafljhdas 

Characters: Kalim Al-Asim, Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit, Azul Ashengrotto, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia

P.S: I’m so sorry this is so long omg but I guess this is a strong comeback-

Warnings: none except for language

Riddle:

-You wanted to stay as far away as possible from him

-Riddle was part of the trio of people you wanted to stay away from: Riddle, Vil, and Azul

-Riddle paid so much attention to fine details that if something was up, he'd definitely notice it

-But unfortunately you were best friends with the two goobers of Heartslabyul: Ace and Deuce

-And Riddle had started to pay attention to you and your habits, and something was off with you

-It's almost as though you tried too hard to be normal, like Jamil

-And he could never let something like that happen again, so yes he was watching you

-One day you accidently slipped up and was irresponsible with your powers

-Grim was bothering you since he got into a deal with Azul for tuna and they were standing outside with the twins, since Grim lost

-You told him to fend for himself and teleported, however you didn’t plan where you would go

-And you teleported into the Heartslabyul dorm

-What sucks is that your teleportation power was literally flashy with a bright ass green light every time you popped in somewhere

-Just when you thought you were lucky since the whole dorm was uninhabited...except for Riddle who watched the whole thing

-He was completely shocked, he didn’t know what to say other than “What did you just do?!” 

-You explained to him, and that just pieced everything together

-How you solved overblots with such ease, and that one day you had a “strength potion to test for Azul” was such bs!

-Riddle ends up keeping your secret, since he values your privacy but if you do something major and mess up then he will tell!

-”I understand but please be more careful with your powers. I need to institute discipline and you are no exception, Y/N.”

-He really does care about you and doesn’t want you to be found out 

-Goes the extra mile to cover for you often, and in exchange you help him out with things :)

Leona:

-He didn't really care about you at first but as you started to hang Jack and Ruggie, Leona started to get more suspicious

-Your scent had proven that you had some trace of magic, but Leona just couldn't put his finger on it

-So he sent Ruggie after you for a couple of days

-If you were a threat to Savanaclaw, Leona would crush you

-But Ruggie had only reported back that everything with you was perfectly normal

-"Just give it up Leona, they're just an ordinary human. The scent is probably weird because they're from a completely different world."

-But Leona still had that feeling, so he was keeping an eye on you

-You had made a deal with Crowley to keep your powers secret to solve problems on campus (it did cut repair costs and handymen costs in half so-)

-Your new quest was to rid the forest of the Angolo fungus that was manifesting into living fungus blobs 

-The one thing that gave you away was Grim, as you both had to stop by the Greenhouse to read some info about the fungus

-The cat beast was being far too loud, not understanding why he had to go and mess around with the icky fungus

-You simply replied “It’ll be quick, I’ll just use Hydrokinesis and dry out the fungus since they’re mainly filled with water. They become fertilizer once dried so we can just leave them there.”

-And there Leona was, ears perked up once he heard your voice

-Hydrokinesis? What are you talking about?

-So he set off, following you to the forest

-You started to fly, turning the once green and lively fungus to brown dust while Grim napped against a tree

-Leona for the first time in the while, was left speechless

-Once you noticed him, you realized you had to talk to him

-Confronting him later on, luckily Leona didn’t spill to anyone 

-He promised to never tell anyone about what he saw, and had no clapbacks for what you had to say 

- Leona doesn’t even benefit from this secret...besides mayyybee one day asking for your help if his pride lets him

-By the Great Seven why does everything have to not be in his favor-

Azul:

-Another one who you have got to be careful around, since he’s incredibly observant

-More observant than Riddle

-Azul noticed that you’re an incredibly average person, and were incredibly relaxed even during the most stressful situations

-And almost every single time whenever you were in a tight spot, it works in your favor

-Just how is that possible? Solving overblots left and right? Every single time you disappeared the infestation of magical beasts are gone? 

-One day, you were getting picked on by a three guys, their stature far above yours and incredibly strong. How could you possibly win?

-Just as he was about to scoop in a save you, you slammed one of the men into the concrete, taking on the other two by electrocuting them, the blue lightning buzzing in your palms

-They were completely knocked out, dusting off your palms and picking up your things only to face Azul’s eyes

-After giving an explanation of what that was, he was still speechless

-Azul at first was incredibly shocked and then since Azul is Azul... later on realized this had benefits

-He could just blackmail you to be his new bodyguard!

-Oh how he always manages to bend life to his will-!

-So you could just wipe his memory... or turn him into stone...nvm

-You’re now Azul’s arch nemesis since you end up saving people from his scamming and you’re basically untouchable and there’s nothing he can do about it

-But he does find your great strength admirable (and a lil hot, I mean what can u say seeing someone floating in the air with electricity flowing through them is a nice look okay Nate shut up)

Kalim: 

-Oh Kalim my beloved

-He just thinks that you’re incredibly talented and a little mysterious

-You have your little quirks and he has his! Who is he to judge?

-Until one day you wanted to make the load lighter on Jamil, since the berries that Kalim had requested for were only in season in one country

-You decided to just teleport and then come back with the berries so Kalim wouldn’t be pouty 

-You were outside the door ready to teleport when last minute you felt a hand on your shoulder

- “Oh Y/N you forgot-!”

-And there both you and Kalim were, in a berry field thousands of miles away from the Scarabia dorm

-Kalim screams, falling to the lush green of the field

-What happened?! Where are we?! How did you do that?!

-You quickly gathered all the berries at light speed, making sure that you got back before Jamil realized that you were gone

-Kalim wasn’t scared of you, rather impressed that you were able to keep a secret for that long, he could never!

-You’re already super cool, and on top of this you have otherwordly powers!

- “It must’ve been stressful living your life like this! But don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret!”

-Yes he sometimes asks you to perform some of your powers for him, sorry Y/N-

Vil:

-While you were his friend, he was incredibly suspicious of you

-Even though you wiped everyone’s memory, he still had the faint memory of when he was in overblot mode of you blasting him with a beam of light

-Vil was incredibly upset as one of his assistants had mixed up his items, and left one of his vital skincare items on the set of where they were filming a new commercial

-It was being shipped and would take 3 days to reach NRC

-His mood was horrible and you had to do something about it to give grace to the Pomefiore dorm

-So you went to the second story of the Pomefiore dorm, ready to use Apport (the power to pull anything before you) 

-However, Vil felt incredibly guilty

-He was acting like a child and he shouldn’t have taken it out on the people who he loves and values

- “Y/N, how I was acting was incredibly inappropriate and- is that my moisturizer? How did you get it?”

-Starts freaking out as this was impossible as it was on it’s way from being shipped from another country

-This was the last straw for him ther was no justification for this that wasn't done by some form of magic

-He takes you to his room to make you sit down and give him an explanation for this

-Once you finished, Vil understood but was still freaked out

-He cares alot about keeping your powers a secret and will cover for you

-"So my aport powers need to exchange something of equal value so... I exchanged it with that Scucci purse over there-

-"MY LIMITED EDITION SCUCCI PURSE?!"

-He loves you, but you're dead to him, Y/N dear

Idia:

-Before he knew you, he didn't really notice anything off with you

-A little quiet sure but he minded his own business, he had bigger things to focus on

-Until you hung around Ignihyde more often for a project, fixing a huge generator by yourself for one of your partners for a project

-They took a break only after you told them that they could and apprehensive went to go get food and water

-Anyone with eyes could see that there's an overbearing amount of energy flowing through the fairly large sized cube

-Wait, you were wearing no gloves, you could get electrocuted! Why would have your bare hands on something like that?!

-Just as he was able to yell, it was too late, your whole body was flowing with the bright blue energy... and then you let go

-You were walking completely fine, you went and held a random wire on the ground, placing the electricity inside

-The static from your hair was gone, and you looked completely normal. . .

-Just what the hell are you?

-He did hours of research trying to figure you out, even sending Ortho to monitor you

-Yet there was nothing, you were just a “regular teen” 

-Was ready to get S.T.Y.X.S on your ass- (is that too soon to joke abt my bad overblot boys-)

-Until one day he caught you again bending electricity to your will

-Is incredibly impressed with your power (lowkey wanting to experiment on you)

-After he realizes that you can read minds Idia is so damn frightened

- “O-Okay I promise not to say anything, just don’t tell anyone what I’m thinking a-alright?!”

Malleus:

-You were one of the only people who he trusted

-Malleus had always detected some form of magical aura that was otherworldly from you and it never seemed to fade

-And it wasn’t often, but it was almost like you knew what he was thinking

-Whenever he was deeply upset he felt a twinge of energy from you, and then you would insist and help him out with his problems

-And he flat out says “Are you reading my mind, Y/N?”

-You had never been directly outed like this before, you felt horrible 

-You never read people’s minds unless it was very necessary

-whenever Malleus felt deeply gloomy you felt like it was important to just read his mind and help him with the problem

-You explained it to him and apologized, but he wasn’t upset

-In fact, he was smiling?

- “It seems like we have alot of things that we’re hiding from each other. But... you always had the best intentions whenever you used your abilities”

-He let out a sigh and reluctantly admitted, “And, I know that I’m quite stubborn with revealing my feelings.” 

- “I will keep your secret as long as you keep mine, Child of Man,” the dragon fae said, you both shaking on it

- “I always had a feeling that you were special, but I never thought it would be something of this caliber...” 

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #malleus x reader #leona x reader #azul x reader #riddle x reader #malleus draconia x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #riddle rosehearts #kalim x reader #kalim al asim #idia x reader #idia shroud x reader #idia shroud #vil x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #vil schoenheit

[obeiii-mee]

Mammon being greedy and constantly hoarding things away from all the others makes sense. That whole ‘scummy second born’ characteristic he has is what defines him as a demon and as a character. He’s the Embodiment of Greed. He does this shit all the time. The stealing, the lying, the gambling- all of it! Even his brothers seem to be under the impression that he doesn’t care about anyone else but himself. Which is just wrong, to put it in simple terms. Mammon does a lot for his family; they just fail to realise that.

Quite a few of the limited edition figurines and anime DVDs sitting on Levi’s shelf are from him, y’know? He made it seem like it was no big deal, that he found them lying around on the ground and he just happened to stumble across them and, out of the generosity of his own heart, handed them to his brother who was obviously excited to receive this kind of rare equipment. And the third born believed him because that sounds like a Mammon thing to do, since why else would he have such precious possessions within his reach? And give it to him no less, when he could’ve sold them for a lot of money??? In truth, Mammon probably went into debt trying to win these things and proceeded to spend weeks trying to get his hands on at least one so he could give the damn toy to his brother already. As an early birthday gift or something, idk what excuse he had in mind because he still has a reputation to uphold so he can’t be caught being a softie now, ya hear?!

Satan woke up with a cat in his room once. No tag, no owner. He swore that was the happiest day of his life simply because this random baby kitten found its way into his mess of a bedroom and he decided it was fate that such a wonderful thing were to happen. It took a while for Lucifer to agree but eventually he had to give in because Satan was being persistent, so he agreed on the condition that it’s just ONE cat and he better not come home to find a million of them sitting in the living room. Yeah, Mammon brought him that cat. He found it on the streets, in an empty alleyway or something, thought Satan might find it cute and then just…brought it home, I guess. And afterwards, he sneaked it into his brother’s room and pretended to act surprised the next day when its discovery was announced. He was also the one to convince Lucifer to let Satan keep it. Also, turns out the cat DID have an owner and Mammon just stole a pet, without even meaning to.

Asmo knows Mammon buys him make up kits and clothes from time to time. What he doesn’t know is that Mammon buys a lot of his jewellery too. To put it simply, the second eldest gets some really expensive looking-ass necklace, shoves it into a lower demon’s hands and tells him to go on and ‘give it to Asmo over there! He’s gonna love it, no need to thank me. You’re gonna earn some brownie points with the Avatar of Lust, good for you small, insignificant demon. Now just do it already!!’ Essentially, he’s too embarrassed to give these gifts himself but this is a regular occurrence that he forces onto others of lower status lol. Asmo comes home every time, flaunting this new gorgeous pair of earrings a fan of his gifted him and Mammon just goes ‘Whoa, that thing must be worth a fortune! Why dontcha hand it over to me, eh? C’mon, older brother privileges’ and the fifth born yells at him to stop being such a greedy asshole. The whole time he’s putting up a font so he doesn’t get found out because it would hurt his ego immensely if the others knew. Rinse and repeat after a couple of days….

The twins are easy because for Beel, all he needs to do is make him his favourite dish as often as possible and take him out to a few restaurants every once in a while to make him happy, which is good enough for Mammon, even if his wallet is screaming at him by the time they’re done. Belphie wouldn’t even notice this, but half of his pillows have either been ordered by Mammon on Akuzon or stolen from somewhere. I would be too afraid to ask where he stole such high quality pillows and blankets but yeah. Actually, those are two of the many things he does for the twins, the others including:

-Doing quite a bit of schoolwork for Belphie when he misses his classes (though he sometimes jokingly asks for compensation) or for Beel who stained his notes after salivating on them in class

-Sewing a few of Belphie’s pillows that he knows his brother used to like a lot before they ripped and had to be discarded of

-Always lets Beel know where his twin is because Belphie has a habit of falling asleep in random places and he doesn’t want Beel to worry about him when that happens so if he happens to spot him, he always tells Beel first so he can go and get him back to their room

-Etc…

Lucifer is last, mainly because Mammon doesn’t really give him a lot of physical gifts. I mean, some of the pricey alcohol the eldest has displayed in his office is from him but for Lucifer, Mammon was mostly there to provide him with emotional support. Especially after the fall happened and they all transformed into their ‘deformed’ demon forms for the first time, unrecognisable from the beautiful angels they once were before. That’s why Lucifer has so much trust in him-it’s because he knows Mammon is the most reliable demon out there and has always been there for him, quietly supporting him from the sidelines because he knew his brother had too much pride to ask for help from others. If I had to guess, Mammon would’ve had to pull Lucifer out of countless nervous breakdowns and self-pitying lines of thought, even more so after Lilith’s death. Honestly, Lucifer would’ve been totally lost and even more closed off than he is in the game at the moment if Mammon’s hadn’t been there for him. Actually, I guarantee you everyone would’ve fallen apart if Mammon was the one to die the Celestial War instead of their sister just because he’s the glue that’s holding them all together.

This post got really long but the point I’m trying to make is that Mammon loves his brothers and none of them really appreciate it enough because they’ve got this painted image of what they thought he should be like in their heads and therefore take all of his actions, as sincere as they may be, with a grain of salt. Obviously, these are just my HCs but I’m sure there are times where Mammon wonders if his siblings care for him at all or if they really dislike him as much as they let on. I know I would start thinking like that if I grew up in an environment where I’m constantly being insulted for the most minor of mistakes, since negative behaviour affects and sticks with you for a long time.

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey HCs #I did it again #I was thinking about Mammon today #and then I got sad thinking #about how he gets treated sometimes #so I made these #to make you all suffer with me #:)