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ellecdc · 1 day

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i come barring a request for a poly!marauders🫡📃

idk you ever do this with ur cat but when mine meows at me i respond back and pretend we’re having a full conversation, and now imagine reader this with her cat and she’s roommates with lily so she’s used to but then the boys see they’re all thrown off and slightly worried.

now i bid you good day my lady 🫡

I've had this blurb like half finished for a while, but since we were all talking about our fur babies today, I thought it'd be perfect to finish and post! thanks for this cute request - hope it's what you were looking for

poly!marauders x fem!reader who talks to her cat

Remus felt sort of bad for Lily at the way the boys all deflated when it had been her who opened the door to your shared flat instead of you. Thankfully, the red-head just laughed and invited them all in.

“Sorry to disappoint boys.” She jested as they all made themselves at home on your couch.

“Oh, we’re always happy to see you, Lily.” James said at the same time as Sirius grumbled “you should be”, earning him a pinch in the ribs by Remus.

“Hey!” Lily called down the hall. “The boys are here!”

Remus winced at a painful sounding thump and a muffled. “Okay thanks! I’m almost ready!”

The boys were very excited, if James’ knee bouncing and Sirius’ impish smirk wasn’t obvious enough. Lily had been gushing about how sweet her new roommate was and how she thought you’d get along really well with the group of friends, and she’d been right. You came to two pub nights and the boys were hooked; constantly asking Lily for updates and if you’d be at the next one.

Lily had grown so tired of playing messenger that she asked you if she could give them your phone number, to which you had agreed.

The four of you had been in a group chat for nearly a month and a half before they felt brave enough to ask you out on an official date.

“Where are you guys going tonight?” Lily asked as she sat in an armchair in the living area where the boys were waiting.

“We’re going to the pub on 42nd.” James answered readily.

“The one with the board games and vintage video games?” Lily clarified.

“Yup. That way there’s something for us to do if conversation lulls, and something for James to do with his hands.” Sirius explained teasingly, causing James to blush and lean into his side as if he were trying to hide inside of Sirius’ smaller frame.

“Don’t tease the lad.” Lily admonished playfully. “He’s already likely nervous enough. I don’t think you lot have to worry about tonight though; conversation never lulls with her around.”

Remus tilted his head in bemusement at Lily’s comment but never got to ask for clarification before he heard some muttering.

“Would you stop that?” He could hear you mutter quietly; barely any ire detected in your tone.

“Please don’t do this, I’m already late.” You begged before a big crash took place. “For fuck’s sa- why.”

“You’re not allowed to get ready with me anymore.” You declared to your bedroom. Remus shared a look with Sirius and James before turning towards Lily who only shook her head and brought her finger to her lips.

“Don’t look at me like that!” You carried on. “If you want to be here to see me off, you need to behave yourself.”

It was quiet for a few moments. “No, knocking over my jewelry stand is not behaving.”

They listened to you shuffling around before you let out a big sigh. “I love you too, but you are stressing me out. Do you want to watch shows with Lily tonight while I’m gone? Hm? Let’s go ask.”

Finally, you exited your room and made your way down the hall, entering the living area before pausing to take in the fact that the four occupants of your flat were all staring at you with varying levels of bemusement and amusement.

And trotting happily behind you was a small cat seemingly none the wiser to the fact that it just made its mistress look like a fool in front of her dates.

You chuckled awkwardly. “How much did you hear?”

Lily snorted and pat her legs as an invitation for your feline friend, who happily agreed, hopping and curling up on the red-head’s lap.

“Enough to know that knocking over your jewelry stand is not behaving.” Sirius teased salaciously.

You groaned and moved to cover your face with your hands, but James was having none of that and quickly made for you.

“Don’t hide that beautiful face from us; it’d be a shame if the only one who got to appreciate your date night look was your cat.” He commented as he gently pulled your hands away from your face.

You still looked awfully embarrassed but acquiesced. “A bad cat, at that.” You spat to the ball of fur currently sitting with your roommate without any real malice.

“Oi!” Lily defended quickly, brushing broad strokes over the cat like the villain from Austin Powers. “Don’t speak ill of Princess Bernadette the Third.”

“Princess Bernadette?” Sirius asked bewilderedly at the same time as James murmured “the Third?”

“Birdie, Lily. My cat’s name is Birdie.” You corrected, not at all amused.

Lily raised her nose in the air. “When we stay home to watch Bridgerton without you lot, she’s Princess Bernadette the Third. Now off with you, we have Ball’s to attend, and you have gentlemen to court.”

Remus watched with a loving smile as you flushed furiously at that, laughing when it only deepened as Sirius suddenly stood and made his way for you, bowing with a flourish and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “Shall we, m’lady?”

You gave him an eye roll but Remus could tell it was mostly for show as you bore a sickeningly sweet smile and accepted James’ elbow as you made your way to the door.

“Have fun you guys!” Lily called towards the door as Remus bent down to scritch Birdie on the chin.

“You too, Princess Bernadette, Princess Lillith.” He offered with his most posh accent and a quick bow before joining his two boyfriends and their date at the door.

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terry-perry · 15 hours

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Just Business?

Pairing: Alastor x Carmine!Reader

Part 2 to this imagine

Technically Part 3 if you wish to include these headcanons

Requested by @lokis-imaginary-friend: If you’re not averse to it I had a thought while reading this….what if y/n overheard this conversation and feels as though she’s being treated as a transaction. Idk I could just see some angst coming from this for y/n followed by whatever fluff you come up with.

Additional tags: @martinys-world

Fluff will come in a later chapter (hopefully). Enjoy!

You walked home with a spring in your step. You were happy to find the perfect set of pajamas for your boyfriend. Alastor didn't require much sleep, based on the nights you spent together and he'd spend most of them watching you, lurking among the swamp in his room, or tending to the hotel. Regardless, you knew he wanted to look his best even at more casual hours like bedtime. It was great then that you found the red silk pajamas that were perfect for him, especially since you found a matching robe that reminded you of his regular attire.

It'd been about six months since you'd been together and things were going well. Now that things were public too, you enjoyed your time more freely. The fact you two were going out interested many people, with gossip of it being all over the news. Thankfully, the paparazzi weren't stupid enough to film your dates. They must've heard the screams of that one photographer who was bold enough to sneak a photo of you on a picnic date by the Lake of Fire. Alastor was sure to broadcast his torment over a rendition of La Vie En Rose as a reminder not to intrude on your alone time.

You knew the kind of man/demon Alastor was before you became a couple. You heard the stories as well as his broadcasts. You were there during the sudden disappearances of various overlords and how it coincided with said broadcasts. No sane sinner would want to risk getting involved with someone like him. Due to how more curious than afraid of him you were and how touched and important you felt whenever Alastor threatened others who disrespected you, you had an inkling that your sanity wasn't all there. That was okay with you; you were already in Hell.

Your mother approved of him as did your sisters, which resulted in another reason you grew to love him. He enjoyed spending time with your family, too, judging from how he'd come to dinner, joke with Clara and Odette, and share light pleasantries with Carmilla. You could see they were really warming up to him and vice versa.

You might not have tamed the beast, but it certainly amazed you how much of him you got to have for yourself. It was almost too good to be true.

You were finally home after spending some time at the mall. You don't know why your mother needed you out of the house but you didn't question it. She was sometimes wary of those who did business with the family and would rather let herself handle things. If she was still talking with them, you'd do your best to sneak into your room.

Upon entering the manor, however, you heard your mother say some things that made your ears perk up:

"You won't do anything unless you know it'll benefit you. It's why you're with my daughter in the first place, right?"

Her daughter? Who exactly was she talking about, and to whom? Her voice was coming from the library it seemed. You did your best to creep over and stood outside to hear more. What came next was certainly a shock:

"Y/N is quite a lovely lady with a certain sweetness and intelligence that I find endearing. If she so happens to come from a powerful family, then who am I to not want to get closer to someone who can mean a lot to me?"

You felt sick to your stomach just then. What was that; did you hear that correctly? He made it sound like you were just a pet to him - a mere plaything with a purpose.

A humiliating desire to cry swept through you, along with a small hope that your mother would put him in his place. She wouldn't take someone using her daughter lightly.

"If I were you, I'd do the same, I suppose,"

Now that's what brought out the tears.

What the hell was going on?

"You'll continue to treat her well. You'll continue to meet her, talk with her, and if it gets to that point, marry her."

Breathing became difficult as this unexpected betrayal weighed on your broken heart. Was this all just a plan between Alastor and your mother? Was this all a big matchmaking con that would lead to good benefits for them?

"You're smart enough to know that you should treat this like any other transaction."

You never thought your mother would have the gall to sacrifice your happiness for business purposes. She was always the type to lay her life on the line for you and your sisters. She did just that during the last Extermination Day when facing a team of Exorcists. To hear that the woman you grew up admiring treated you like a piece of property was too much to handle.

Let's not forget about Alastor! You actually believed he cared about you. Were all those times you went out on lunch and dinner dates, spent time with each other's loved ones, and shared intimate dances just part of a ruse to get you to fall for him? The fact you were nothing but entertainment with benefits saddened and embarrassed you because what everyone said about him was right.

You were right; this was all just too good to be true.

You now were fueled with anger and decided to use it to confront the two traitors.

"A transaction?"

Upon hearing your voice, Carmilla and Alastor turned towards the doorway where you stood defiantly with the Carmine glare on your face. Your normally well-composed mother expressed more worry than you ever saw her with. Meanwhile, Alastor kept his large grin as usual, but you could tell he was shocked due to how big his eyes were, and it almost looked too painful for him to smile.

"Y/N-"

"Is that all I am to the two of you?" You asked, blinking back tears. "A business deal - just a prize to be won? Is that why you needed me out of the house Mom? To discuss my dowry?"

Carmilla's astonishment kept her from speaking. She wanted to explain that this was simply a way to assure you a good future if you continued things with Alastor and that no harm would come to you, but she was at a loss for words seeing how betrayed you looked.

"And you Alastor!" You rounded on him next. The man you loved for half a year but now don't even know what to make of him. He's practically a stranger now. "I knew you weren't a saint, but I didn't think you'd stoop so low as to only date me for my family. I can't believe you'd use me like that!"

"Y/N," he began, getting out of his seat to go towards you with more emotion than you ever saw him, even with his smile remaining. "Sweetheart, you misunderstand -"

"You saw me as nothing but a prize," you uttered quietly, backing away from him with your head down. "You already have connections to the throne, so it's best to protect it with your connection to the biggest collection of weapons in Hell, right?"

His silence spoke to you more than any clever words he could conjure up for you. His silence spoke the truth.

You didn't stay much longer, especially since neither could bother to give you a proper response. You ran out of the house, ignoring their pleas to stay. You needed to get away and reflect on everything.

Alone.

#alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor imagine #hazbin hotel alastor x reader #alastor fanfiction #hazbin alastor x reader #imagine #request #sequel fic #carmilla carmine #x reader #angst #carmine!reader #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor

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lukecvntstellan · 3 days

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do you reckon u could do a leo x reader fluff plsss 🙏

a/n: this is the first time i've written anything ____ x reader in a LOOONNNGGGGG time... forgive me if i'm rusty. don't be tooo mean i'll probably sob idk

improper grammar probably (not proofread) and written in all lowercase because i dont feel like capitalizing

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hurt/comfort with leo valdez x reader i guesssss

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leo had been down on himself recently. him and his significant other had been together almost a year now. as of late he had been locking himself in bunker nine, away from his friends and s/o.

leo had been drowning himself in work, alone in bunker 9, as an excuse for his loneliness. over his music he hears the door swing open, he looks up expecting to see his s/o, but is instead greeted by one of his best friends, piper mclean.

"hey, leo. we noticed you've been spending a lot of time in here... is everything okay?"

the question he knew was coming, but had been dreading.

leo unplugged his radio before saying, "yeah, piper, i've been great. just working on a big project!" trying to feign excitement over his project, which in reality was a pile of scrap metal on his desk that he wasn't quite sure what to do with.

"i'm sorry, but you're the most social out of our friend group? locking yourself in here for days is unusual. y/n has been worried about you. you haven't even spoken to them?"

"okay piper. i'm sorry. okay? i just don't know what to say. you're the only person i've opened up to before. i'm scared y/n would leave me if they knew what was happening. i can't tell them. being with me is already hard enough, i don't need to add on additional burden with the nightmares i've been having..."

despite being "closer" with jason, leo had only ever talked about his feelings with piper before. jason already had enough of his own problems, and never really noticed when leo was going through something.

ever since leo was claimed by his father he had been told by multiple people that he was fated to always be the outsider, never have a place, always the seventh wheel. those words echo through his mind constantly, never ending. because of this, having an s/o was hard. thoughts of "do i deserve this?" "are they going to leave me?" and "am i good enough for them?" were always cycling through his mind.

piper's voice cut through leo's thoughts, "i'm not the one you should be apologizing to. i think you need to talk to them. they're worried about you. do you want to tell me what's been happening first though?"

"do you remember a few months ago i told you about the dreams i had, with hera in them?"

"oh gods.. they're back?"

"yeah... i haven't been sleeping to avoid them. but now i'm so tired and i want to sleep. but i'm scared."

piper moved to give leo a quick hug. "i'm sorry that the dreams are back. i'm gonna get y/n to come talk to you. okay?"

"thanks beauty queen." (**LEOS NORMAL NICKNAME FOR HER IN THE BOOKS**)

as piper was leaving leo walked over to the bed he had made for his late nights in bunker nine, preparing for a conversation he did not want to have.

emotions weren't leo's strong suit. he always tried to be funny and cool to distract from any emotional issues that were happening. no amount of jokes could hide the dark circles under his eyes and his unbrushed hair. he looked rough.

the door opened, and y/n walked in and sat down next to leo. running their hand through his unkempt curls they asked, "are you okay, what's going on? i'm worried about you."

leo laid down, his head in y/n's lap, and their hands gently playing with his hair.

"my dreams have been really bad recently. i haven't been sleeping to avoid them. i'm so tired. i haven't been able to finish any project i've started. i can't do anything right-" leo pointed to the haphazard pile of junk on his desk.

tears started to form, leo tried to blink them away, to no success.

"i guess i've always been insecure? i've been told by hera and nemesis that i'm meant to be this outsider with no role and will always be alone and now i just feel like i don't deserve you. and all my dreams lately have just been those same words on repeat. hera standing there telling me that i'm always going to be the seventh wheel. i'm never going to find my place. i can't take it anymore."

y/n pressed a light kiss to his forehead while contemplating their words.

"leo. you realize that isn't true, right? you DO deserve me. you're not an outsider either, you have a place in our friend group. everyone there loves you. and I love you-"

"love me? you haven't said that before"

"i've been thinking it for a while"

leo couldn't hide the smile that was taking over his face. "really? i love you too, actually, i love you more." he sat up and tackled y/n down on the bed in a hug. "you can't ever leave me now, you're trapped here!" leo said through a laugh.

"you know, i wouldn't dream of it."

"i mean, you probably will. the demigod dreams go kinda crazy."

"you know what i meant, stupid."

"WHAT! you think i'm stupid?" leo protested.

"no. i didn't mean it like that and you know it."

leo shut up after that. being in the arms of his partner after not sleeping for days was making the sleepiness overwhelming. y/n noticed leo drifting off, running their hands through his hair and whispering soft "i love you's" and other sweet nothings.

this was the first night of no nightmares in a week for him :)

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this is ASSS bc i wrote it at mostly 4am and i dont proofread. the concept is there, the execution isn't.

i love leo i think he deserves some comfort in his life PLEASE

#percy jackson #heroes of olympus #leo valdez #riordanverse #hoo #leo pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #leo hoo

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imwritesometimes · 1 year

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every day I want to cover the last tattoo I got more & more cause God forbid someone think I got it cause of a certain fandom..................

#I just literally don't know how to approach that subject w/an artist like heyyyy!#you did a tattoo. on my body. and now! I want it covered up by something else!#like. the thought alone makes me want to vomit until I die #it's not the quality of the work! it's just 🥴 I just want it to be covered up with another kitty tattoo at this point #I know this is a subject I COULD talk abt w/my artist he's a HELLA chill guy idk I don't think he'd be upset?#but it's just like OMG such a THING you know? like FCK.#but I also feel like tattoo artists are more.... understanding of like hey! bodily autonomy! we all make choices! and sometimes!#we wanna change em!#idk idk idk idk been having LOTS of thoughts for LOTS of months #I just wish I knew like..... what the reception would be if I asked abt it cause I REALLY like my artist I REALLY like the shop #and it's not like it's HIS own *original* art I want covered #idk man idk I got other tattoos I don't LOVE but they're on my back so no one ever sees em #IDK IDK IDK I LITERALLY MAKE MYSELF SICK TO MY STOMACH AGONIZING OVER THIS #I don't want my artist to hate me but I kinda do really want this one covered up with something else so bad that #I've already planned out what I'd want covering it....... like that's a bad way to feel abt a tattoo right?#literally feel like I'm gonna hurl up my cereal now thinkin abt it hahahahha 🥴😖😟😔🤢😵‍💫☹️#erin explains it all

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sourscratched · 2 months

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the hand that feeds

#dimension 20 #my art #acoc #trw #many thoughts about them that im unable to articulate #just thinking a lot about how they were probably around the same age during the events of trw #and i think a lot about karna as far as i know not knowing any other warlocks of the hungry one besides herself #the scene in the inn when she looks in the mirror at the rot growing hits me so hard #something about being so young and all alone with the dread you feel about your own body #who can you tell who would get it #who can you tell that it wouldn’t feel like giving them something to use against you #idk i just think about these two a lot #wonder what it would’ve been like if they could have met each other #(do i have a fic where they meet that ive been procrastinating on uploading to ao3 for months. Maybe)#(i don’t write like Ever and i haven’t had the confidence to share it yet. anyway)#this whole post is just me talking to a wall lmao don’t mind me everyone #a crown of candy #the ravening war

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deoidesign · 6 months

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I've been... Busy 👀

Trying to get all 4 arcs from season 1 into books!

(not available for sale, these are print proofs. I'm planning a Kickstarter early next year!)

#this is why i havent been posting much #ive been so busy between making episodes and doing Kickstarter prep #theres been a lot more for Kickstarter prep than i had anticipated #i mean. not really.#i knew it was gonna be a lot #but it's takin longer than i thought #cause i always forget how little time i have outside of making comic updates #I'm also thinking $25 a book #and then itd be $30-60 to ship them #so. if youre reading these tags its not an official announcement #but i want to give people ample warning #cause i know $150 is a lot to save up #also for legal reasons #i can not print all the books at once...#i have to go one at a time??#so I'm planning on making it like.. a box every few months #idk #I'm trying to think of thinfs that make it more worthwhile to do it that way #i want ppl to feel like they got their moneys worth idk #but! tbese two books look really good #I get proofs really early so i can go through for typos or color errors asap #so! hopefully I'll have the ghost and Victorian ones done by end kf year #so i can do the Kickstarter in like... jan/feb #i wanna add some scenes to the Victorian one #so. loads of work to do #printing #books #Kickstarter prep #time and time again

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raiiny-bay · 2 months

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sun & moon boyfriends

#b and a #dhes is the sun like hot rage though #not happy sunshine character lol #these edits were done months apart but they’re going in the same b/a post anyway #the new bios for the character pages are coming along nicely btw #it’s been kinda fun writing them. i’m trying to challenge myself to write a lil differently than i normally do #i’m also adding an incredibly self indulgent amount of info to them #i decided i’m gonna add an entire section dedicated to describing their mannerisms #idk. i just think it could tell a lot about them. & it’s not something i really thought about before #i mean. i have. i know their mannerisms & quirks well. i just haven’t explicitly written about them #like. in detail.

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sugarsnappeases · 3 months

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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333

#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i #lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde #in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one #i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare #my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see #i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour #i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao #okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too #spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand #yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree #literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute #okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here #kara lore #bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol #tag games

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cottoncandyfrizz · 3 months

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love trial

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unforth · 11 months

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The last couple hundred years have seen society, especially wealthy, western societies, increasingly distancing themselves from the visceral, immediate experience of death. Death is to be hidden and shunned, grief to be pushed aside and made brief. This has been made possibly by improvements in health care, but also by the ever-growing emphasis on the nuclear family and the greater space between people and the sources of their food.

On a smaller scale, as we've had more space to store belongings - as homes have grown and the number of people living within them have decreased - it has been easier for people to acquire and retain belongings over long periods of time. This has led to phenomenon where people buy things they absolutely adore...and then do not use them, as they have the space to store them and they've grown afraid of the damage that will be done to their things if they use them.

Though the second is of course on a smaller scale, the lose of a beloved object still involves a grieving process, and therefore is a less severe analogy for the loss of a loved one.

I posit that the two phenomena are in fact that same phenomenon: that a fear of loss of all kinds, the limiting of space for experiencing loss in our lives, and a dissipation of the skills that enable one to grieve loss in a healthy way, have resulted in our current culture where it is safer to ignore death, and safer to preserve our favorite objects unused, than it is to risk loss.

In this essay, I will...

#unforth rambles #idk my wife's favorite pair of slippers died this morning #and i mentioned i was still mourning my favorite pair of boots that i wore out about a decade ago #and my son was like ??? so I explained and he was like oh that's sad #and I thought about katherine who died earlier this month and how weird grieving for her has been #and how little experience i truly have with grieving #and idk i just ended up here because i'd rather use a thing then grieve when it's gone #then just not use it #but i know a lot of people struggle with that #and it got me thinking that in a way those small grievings help me better know how to process #the bigger grievings from the loss of a loved one #idk maybe this will help someone #more likely it'll get five notes and then disappear into my blog past lmao

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seagull-scribbles · 1 year

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Saw some artists draw Rise Raph’s mask in a bow and I fell in love ♥️

#rottmnt #rise raphael #raphel #i saw the bow and i loved it i was like yes i love how raph is so angry and tough but rise raph punched toxic masculinity in the face #but then i was doodling it and its like #its lgbt history month here in the uk #and most of you know im non binary #and i have been self projecting onto rise raph a lot this past month so #i ended up doing this instead with his two outfits #experimented with colours and textures a little more #i want to branch out and maybe try drawing the other turts and maybe some humans but i am missing my sonic stuff a lot too #but yeah a fem and masc rise raph for the soul for now #i really love all the ideas and headcanons about raph having DID and stuff it is logical #but i also just like that maybe raph is like an onion with lots of layers that i can hug and self project onto mwahahaha #i think i need more practice with this more boxes body shape but i do think this is already much better than my attemp 3 weeks ago so progr #progress #its a shame i dont have time to do lots of studies and redraws i think that be the next step for me to progress #also no one asked but i think his masked it ruined at the bottom because he chewed it when he was younger #also also no one asked even more so but this month ive just been thinking alot about how i present and idk #just a lot of thoughts and reflections going on here i guess #SaveRiseOfTheTMNT

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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months

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sometimes you need to go back and listen to the music you liked when you were 13 because it's good for you. and no im not talking about like emo nostalgia in this case we have enough posts about that. im talking about dad rock. actually im just talking about barenaked ladies

#idk if i'd call barenaked ladies dad rock per se but every once in a while i'll hear a song and go MAN. I REMEMBER THAT #i had so many oc animatics in my head about this one....#anyway skrunk lore moment but i had a really intense bnl phase for like 8 months in early middle school which explains a lot about 13 y/o me #in a neutral way but like. yeah. anyway go listen to box set for me.#you don't have to listen to anything else even though i still have a great fondness for a lot of it bc it's one of those things where it's #so familiar to me that i don't even know if i think it's good or not. but box set goes hard and i'll stand by that #in the car and hello city and i'll be that girl and spider in my room AND CALL ME CALMLY and blame it on me and alternative girlfriend and #the flag and when i fall and the king of bedside manor and am i the only one.... ohgh #AND YES IT'S BASIC BUT IF I HAD $1000000 IS COZY. IT'S CUTE OK #OH and it's all been done for all your immortal/reincarnation ship needs. well. a certain vibe anyway #and alcohol. and OH MY GOD I FORGOT JANE. AND INTERMITTENTLY and break your heart.... waaaaaaa #man they have way way more albums than i thought they had #i can only really speak for gordon born on a pirate ship and maybe you should drive actually but. i like those #or i Did like them. havent relistened but even looking at the titles is making me giggly like... i forgot some of these #ALSO SHOEBOX IS A FRIENDS SONG?? WHUH?#or maybe it was used in friends? idk. no thoughts on friends but they did music for just the dumbest shit. ignore that for me please #ANYWAY. going to go listen to all of that now bc im having a moment. if you listen to it and don't like it um. don't think less of me lol <3

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gobstoppr · 2 months

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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles #its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring #im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny #actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters #idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me #anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too #and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys #and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things #i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff #but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy #i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play #all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often #uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up #im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh #text

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months

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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated

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karofsky · 17 days

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the worst thing about being pretty well adjusted and knowing my working methods and using tools to help my brain through things and deal with mental illness is that it works for the big and the medium day-to-day stuff. but every so often some like, super obscure mental block or aversion comes along and I'm like "this is specific enough that I don't even know how to explain it nor do I know what exactly could help this" 💀

#I realized recently that I have like a Not Trauma Trauma about something and my brain fully just was like #“well we don't like doing that anymore”#and i'm just like no wait I want to do that still. hello.#like how do I approach this ajkshdjksd #I thought I had a reasoning for it but I've been thinking about it more the last few months and I'm just like. now why are you doing that #it's literally like one day I woke up and had a “i don't want to play with you anymore” moment #idk though it's also the same kind of block I have about commissions though too #like not in the same realm of Thing but. the block feels the same #like my brain literally just won't let me access it #(it's probably still the PTSD from that time period. that's usually the answer LOL)#me: what's this weird issue i have?#brain: was it during this 2 year period of your life that you did this a lot?#me: ............ perhaps #tbd

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biantianyang · 1 year

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While reading the blackwater arc I couldn’t help but notice a surprisingly clear allegory between the Venerable of Empty Words and OCD. Whether intentional or not, it was so prominent I wanted to write a (not so) little analysis about it. So let’s get right into it!

First: what is the Venerable of Empty Words? We get a fantastic concise description here:

“The Venerable of Empty Words draws power from fear in people’s hearts. With power, it manipulates its victims to realize its predictions and then makes new ones; the cycle continues until the person is thoroughly broken and their mind is lost to despair. The more unsteady one’s heart, the more disadvantageous their position; the more one has, the more one fears loss.”

To rephrase this in terms of OCD, simply replace “The Venerable of Empty Words” with “OCD.” Purposeful or not, MXTX was describing OCD very well here. If anyone reading doesn’t know what OCD is, considering how misunderstood the disorder often is by people who don’t have it, it’s not just a disorder where you wanna clean a lot. It is when a person may have unwanted thoughts & fears (which are ego dystonic I might add) that disturb the person with OCD. This then results in compulsions which come in different forms that the person may do in response to the obsessions in an attempt to be rid of them. For example, a person might fear they could hurt their family, so they’re unable to handle knives. This is a pretty basic and general definition/example.

OCD is also sometimes known as a doubt disorder. It draws from the doubt/fear in people’s hearts. It manipulates one’s brain into believing their intrusive thoughts. If one point of focus isn’t enough it could establish multiple new types of obsessions. Just reading “the cycle continues until the person is thoroughly broken and their mind is lost to despair” was like… ok holy shit bro that’s just what it feels like. The terror that the thing you fear most is true. Looping over until you can’t take it anymore. This definition of the Venerable of Empty Words also focuses on the heart, and in many ways OCD attacks what people value. “The more one has, the more one fears loss” a sentiment that can be applicable to things like violent intrusive thoughts surrounding one’s loved ones.

We also get to see a few examples of how the Venerable of Empty Words attacks people. In a general sense, it’s described as:

“If someone was happy, in their moment of joy, it would appear to dump a bucket of cold water over their head—a killjoy in the most literal of terms.”

OCD interrupts those who have it’s happy moments in their lives. It feels as if there’s never a moment of peace. OCD is everywhere. The very concept of the Reverend of Empty Words stalking Shi Qingxuan all her life wherever she goes, hiding in the shadows, lurking, matches the persistent fear OCD gives someone. No matter how hard you try, you can never seem to escape.

In a more specific example, the Reverend of Empty Words tells Shi Qingxuan:

“Just wait! Your closest family, your best friend—they’ll all die a disgraceful death because of you!”

Does this not sound like a blatant intrusive thought? There’s no reasoning why, but now you have a new fear that your loved ones are going to die. It isn’t just that her closest family will die either, but that they’ll die because of him. The person with OCD believes the fault lies with themselves. Thus the obsessions over this intense terror.

What follows are the compulsions. When Xie Lian gives an example of when he witnesses the Venerable of Empty Words attack someone he describes:

“The wealthy merchant jumped to his feet in a rage, set on catching the one who would say such a thing, but that person ducked under the table immediately and disappeared into thin air!”

The merchant is quick to get upset at the Venerable of Empty Words’ words. He lashes out trying to stop him, but fails. When you get an intrusive thought you do a compulsion to try to be rid of it, in an almost instinctual way. You want to focus on the horrible thought… how dare my brain say/accuse me of this! Get rid of it! But it still runs free.

This is because the way to get rid of the obsessions and thoughts are the same way you get rid of the Venerable of Empty Words. Xie Lian lists three ways to deal with the Venerable of Empty Words as:

“The first is to not let it open its mouth; cut it off before it can speak. This works in the moment but not in perpetuity, so you need to remain vigilant at all times.”

“Second, if it should speak, don’t let the subject of its curse hear. Anyone would be frightened to hear someone cursing them at the height of their joy, and that creature feeds on fear; it revels in it. The more frightened you are, the happier it becomes.”

These first two are the lesser effective ones. In the first, one can try to shut it up, but they aren’t fully rid of it. Trying to block out an intrusive thought sometimes might work in the moment but they’re bound to come back. An uncomfortable vigilant feeling remains along with it. Second, not allowing someone to hear the words is equivalent to not letting someone get intrusive thoughts, which sounds like just not having OCD to me.

The third solution is the best:

“However, if you pay no mind to however it tries to curse you or rain on your parade, then it can’t do anything to you. So, the most effective method is the third—surround yourself with happy occasions and ignore it completely. Let it choose to speak or remain silent, but forget everything it says. Make yourself stronger and continue down your path according to your own will, and not in accordance with the tragedy it predicted for you. If it can draw no despair from you, it will eventually leave on its own with its tail between its legs… Of course, it could still very well be lying low, waiting for its next chance to strike.”

Part of having OCD is accepting the intrusive thoughts that come to you. The Venerable of Empty Words/thoughts/fears may remain but you must learn to accept and not pay too much attention to them. To truly treat them as “empty words.” An extremely difficult task. And it doesn’t ensure that they won’t come back either. But you cannot wallow in it because that only makes things worse. That’s quite literally the obsessive part.

Xie Lian even goes on to describe the third method as such:

“Although the third method was the most effective, it was also the most difficult to accomplish. After all, who in the world could truly build such a heart of stone and feel not a single ripple of fear?”

Like yes!!! Who!??!! It’s an undeniably difficult thing to do. The reason why OCD is such a terrifying disorder is because humans do not have hearts of stone and do not live without fear. People with OCD are especially susceptible to this. Just as those who are described as “superstitious” in the novel are more vulnerable to the Venerable of Empty Words.

The Shi family tries something different from the three methods, although most similar to the second, by attempting to disguise Shi Qingxuan and be rid of the Reverend of Empty Words. Here we also have a more fantastical element where Shi Wudu can help his sibling escape the grasp of the Reverend of Empty Words by swapping her fate and getting her to the heavens. Unfortunately, people with OCD do not have this opportunity. And regardless, it doesn’t work for Shi Qingxuan at all. You can’t play dress up and run away from a disorder, you have to let the distressing thoughts come and die away.

As a bonus Xie Lian has a very interesting case. He manages the Venerable of Empty Words with his horrible luck.

“Either he experienced no happy occasions and [the Venerable of Empty Words] waited fruitlessly for years, or he had already grown accustomed to all the bad luck and suffered neither fear nor anxiety. His luck was so bad it defied the imagination of the Venerable of Empty Words, so Xie Lian thought nothing of its curses, and in fact treated them as well-wishes or daydreams.”

In some tragically comedic manner, Xie Lian has become OCD-proof. We can take Xie Lian as an example of someone without OCD. The Venerable of Empty Words/intrusive thought comes to him and he finds a way to defeat them by being like ok lol. sounds good to me! These thoughts can come to him and he can accept them and move on. Even though Xie Lian might be a special case where he can do this because things are naturally bad for him, his capability to move on at all is a huge feat for someone with OCD. And in turn the Venerable of Empty Words has no choice but to give up. To literally die of starvation. The intrusive thoughts leave him. He never has to obsess over them or have compulsions in response.

Shi Qingxuan also has a slightly different case considering He Xuan devours the Reverend of Empty Words as a part of his revenge plan which makes things more complex, but without a doubt she exhibits symptoms of OCD in the same ways I described before. She is a target of the Reverend and is aware of her own vulnerability towards it. Although she spends a good amount of time running away, when the blackwater arc crew set out to deal with it, she responds obsessive-compulsively upon hearing the Reverend of Empty Words speak.

Essentially, the Venerable of Empty Words is to its prey as OCD is to those suffering from it. Whether or not MXTX intended for this to be a little allegory to those with OCD I’ll probably never know, but I’ll be damned if the allegory isn’t there.

#ok WOW that was longer than i thought it was gonna be. a lot of quotes lol #but ive been sitting on this post for months.. over a year maybe lol #kinda funny that the venerable of empty words is better accidental ocd rep than anything else ive seen in media #still cant decide if i hc sqx as having ocd either but like the jinx bitch itself? ocd manifested!#actually sure she has ocd too <3 #if it means anything too: i told my analyst abt this and she was like wtf. they're so similar #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #shi qingxuan #xie lian #he xuan #b.txt #venerable of empty words #what else do i even tag this idk

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