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mejomonster · 1 year

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IM SCREAMING

Luo wenzhou truly loves him more than anyone is meant to. The way he just DOES THIS. Makes light of a crime confession, that's going to ruin their lives, put fei du on the side of his enemies he's meant to take down, and Luo Wenzhou? Like always? In the end, picks fei du. Even if it's the irrational decision. His heart is truly bottomless for fei du. He makes a joke of it like fei du is just an ordinary person not confessing grave sins, and then still Wants Him.

Fei Du do you realize you're given a miracle in human form? This is SO MUCH:

“There’s a very good explanation.” Fei Du, staring into his eyes, asked, “Do you want to hear it?”

Luo Wenzhou paused, then expressionlessly said, “Not really.”

But Fei Du seemed not to have heard. He kept talking. “Someone’s been pushing these cases in front of your eyes, leading you to investigate them, so that those people would be panicked and nearly reveal themselves over and over, forcing them to break off a body part each time, throwing out their ‘backers’ with immediate motives as shields. The number of backers can’t be that high, because there aren’t so many true psychopaths, and those with the financial resources to support them are as rare as unicorn horns and phoenix feathers. When those people had cut themselves down to a pitiful bare stalk out of self-preservation, they’d have to find another investor, for example…”

Luo Wenzhou coldly said, “Fei Du, shut up.”

“For example, me.” Fei Du turned a deaf ear on him. “For example, Fei Chengyu’s heir—me. I fit all the criteria. I should have been one of them before. It was only sheer chance, the fact that Fei Chengyu broke it off with them, that meant I didn’t receive that ‘sword.’ I thought of killing Fei Chengyu over and over. I definitely wouldn’t care about any ‘enmity for the killing of your father.’ And I succeeded in working my way into the City Bureau, using my position to investigate the truth about the old Picture Album Project, deceiving…”

Luo Wenzhou hit the table, but he couldn’t interrupt Fei Du’s speech.

“In fact, they’ve already made veiled attempts to contact me. I’ve ignored them because I didn’t want to seem to know too much of the inside story, but if Wei Zhanhong gets in trouble this time, too, then they’ll likely be under attack from all quarters, urgently needing new funds. They’ll have to kneel and beg me for alms. I’ll have a chance to snap their wings, turn the parasitic beast into my personal watchdog. That’s what Fei Chengyu wanted to do but couldn’t accomplish…”

This time Luo Wenzhou was thoroughly frightened. He immediately stood up. “They’ve contacted you? When did this happen? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Fei Du’s level brows rose gently. “…maybe I wasn’t ready to give myself up yet?”

“Bull…” The curse came to Luo Wenzhou’s lips, and he forced it back. He lowered his head and looked at Fei Du, leaning against the table, and suddenly realized that if today’s “unexpected incident” hadn’t occurred, Fei Du may have concealed this forever. If those people had come to see him, he would have gone along with it, gone into the abyss without help or connections.

Fei Du pretended to be an idle son of the wealthy, pretended to lead a life of luxury and dissipation, pretended to have a powerful desire for control. He’d sniped at the Zhou Clan first thing after Zhou Junmao’s death, heartlessly wallowing in the feast of money—he also wore a “beast in human clothing” disguise. The beast in human clothing naturally had to be a gentleman, had to be urbane, had to be extremely patient, elegant and graceful. He’d made himself seem callous and powerful, up to anything.

But in the end, a beast in human clothing was only a beast. However much skill there was, it was still only on the surface. Any sudden change would require deliberation. Which beast would be as unassailable as he was, able to carry the human disguise to the point of keeping company with the babbling village woman Wang Xiujuan and the ignorant little girl Chechen?

Luo Wenzhou remembered the night of Zhou Junmao’s car crash. He thought that rather than making enormous profits short selling Zhou Clan stock, Fei Du in fact would have liked to go home and sleep.

He was clearly a person who could be perfectly satisfied with a bowl of lean pork congee and a plate of salted vegetables on a winter’s night. Give him a cup of coffee and some trivial documents to arrange, and he could tranquilly while away a whole day in the corner of the office—where was his desire to go into the abyss and contend with fierce beasts for power and money?

Luo Wenzhou had suddenly turned silent; faint unease instantly rose in Fei Du’s heart.

“Because this crowd exists, all these years, you’ve felt that you couldn’t escape Fei Chengyu, right?” Luo Wenzhou spoke very calmly. “So you’d rather throw yourself in, become one of them, control them, tear them up by the roots.—If you failed, you might die without an intact corpse like Zheng Kaifeng. If you succeeded, it wasn’t as though you were a planted agent. When the time came, you would go to prison along with them. Have you thought about that?”

Fei Du forced a smile. “I…”

“You aren’t stupid, of course you’ve thought it through clearly,” Luo Wenzhou said. “But whether you died or spent the rest of your life in prison, you thought that would be pretty good, right? At least you’d be free, unencumbered. There’d be nothing to worry about.”

Because if you couldn’t be free, it was better to die.

Luo Wenzhou propped his hand on the edge of the table behind him. “Why are you willing to reveal everything to me now, letting your plans fall through on the verge of success? Is your conscience pricking you?”

Fei Du involuntarily backed up.

“Bah, you don’t have any such thing as a conscience,” Luo Wenzhou said. “You looked at me and thought, ‘Fuck, such a handsome man is confessing his love to me, crying and wailing about wanting to be with me, what am I doing still thinking of dying or going to prison?’ Besides, you have to get a regulation haircut if you go to prison, do you know—”

Fei Du was speechless.

“Since you were even willing to lay out your evil heart and rotten lungs for me, it means you were asking me to pull you out. I pulled, and you dodged and struggled again.” Luo Wenzhou hit Fei Du’s forehead with his palm. “What’s your problem? Are you testing my strength?”

Fei Du seemed like Luo Yiguo leaping onto the dining table and being knocked off with a chopstick; somewhat dazed, he let Luo Wenzhou smack him.

“You always used to make me mad. Whenever I was in a bad mood then, you were always the person I imagined—imagined taking a burlap sack and taking you to a little alley for a beating. But there was a time later when the whole crowd of us went to play around at Tao Ran’s house and accidentally knocked a crack in a brick in the wall. Tao Ran was renting, and the landlord was a problem. If he saw it, he’d definitely make a fuss. Only Tao Ran didn’t say anything at the time, and we didn’t take notice, not expecting that you, a half-grown child, would run around the building materials markets, find a brick that was exactly the same, get a set of tools from who knows where, and spend half a day taking out the old brick and swapping in the new one. I went to have a look afterwards, and the job was pretty well done. I thought then that while you perennially needed a spanking, you could also sometimes be pretty lovable, and if you ever went wrong, it really would be regrettable.”

Luo Wenzhou’s voice was getting quieter and quieter. In the end it was almost a whisper. “So I was always very severe towards you. There was no one else I got so exasperated being around… But that day at the City Bureau, you’d obviously come with that crowd of drinking buddies to make trouble, but in the end you stayed to accompany He Zhongyi’s mother. And I suddenly thought that, actually, even if I wasn’t minding you, wasn’t criticizing you every day, you still wouldn’t go wrong. I never thought that if I gave our interactions a drop of color, you’d run away and set up a dying vat with it, start pestering me all day with no thought for the consequences. Never mind fooling me into giving you my body, you even dared to fool me into giving you my feelings.

“You asshole.” Luo Wenzhou repeatedly jabbed Fei Du’s chest with one finger. “You actually do care for me, you didn’t have any other ideas before, and now you want to stay with me. Do you dare to admit it?”

Fei Du froze under his attentive gaze for three seconds. Then he snatched his jabbing paw and instantly pressed Luo Wenzhou against the little dining table, stopping his mouth with biting force.

#silent reading #lb #zhoudu #ITS THEM ITS THEIR DYNAMIC IN ALL ITS FUCKING GLORY

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monstas1ut2 · 3 years

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1/3 (Eren Yeager)

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Bitches is my sons, that's why I be like, "Chile"

Chile, chile, chile, chile, ch-i-i-i-chile

At the lowest volume, Nicki was spitting bars. The LED lights on the brightest red there's to come as the window was covered with black out curtains. It happened to be bright outside but who opens their curtains at 8 am in the morning..? People who are productive and that's not you.

"Don't spend hours in there, brat."

A pout came onto your face, almost sucking your teeth... it wasn't going to be long until you were finished. Nonetheless though, your father always thinks you take hours to get ready to go somewhere.

"Im not ,daddy... Ion even wear makeup no more.. so it won't take long.."

Leaning towards the mirror, and pressing the lipgloss tip against your soft lips, your thoughts came around to your father.

Levi Ackerman, he's a short male who is quite intimidating, he IS intimidating. Despite his height, he's always winning a battle, whether it's verbal or physical. Which is why you always fail to win an argument against him. This was noticeable when you moved to his house ten months ago.

Before living with Levi, you were living with Hange.

Hange co-parents with Levi, the two were never together but they kept you happy and they are both Mom and Dad to you. The two are so different though. Hange would let you skip school, get ready late, almost everything in the book. She had to stop you from getting a sugar daddy though-

Levi is strict, he doesn't want anyone or thing touching his pretty Princess. Yes you're not biologically his but he still is your father, the only one you'd ever had. He taught you things, showed you the great life. He tried to get you to speak a bit more proper but he just stopped, oddly enough, he wanted you to embrace everything you had to offer.

It was a pain learning about your background, Hange was bad at doing anything for you as well. In result of this, your hair has dreads. Watching YouTube videos was Levi's new thing when you were younger. He managed to skillfully put dreads in your hair and... now they look quite amazing. Very long and pretty on you.

That's something you embrace, those pretty dreads. Knowing that your father put them in first , is one reason as to never take them out.

"I'm done, and, Mom said stop ignorin her... she wanna have a picture of me.. since it's my last year I guess.. ion know.. but she blowin up my phone.."

A bit of a smile casting on your brown skinned face. Fiddling with the phone in your hand. Today you were wearing a Jean like skirt and a black top to go with. Your med-long nails being a mix of white and gold, it complimented the melanin of your skin.

Levi glared at his phone that was vibrating on the nearest table and he'd sighed inwardly. Hange was so excited for your last year, while Levi was not. He also hates the fact that you are now going to the same school that he works at... the only bad thing being... the men there are complete perverts and prudes.

"Tell that bratty friend of yours to do it-"

"Connie isn't a brat, he just a lil mental..."

A lot of bald guys seemed to be mental, or is that just... stereotypical to say? Eh, either way, your Connie was mental. The guy was hilarious, he always knows how to put a smile on your face. Even though you two used to be fairly seperated. You now go to his school so at least you'll have one friend to lean on.

"dad, can you at least be happy for me...? It's my last year of school, not my last year of me bein in ya house.. cuz ion know how to cook... or do adult stuff.." a sheepish smile came upon your face, just staring at your father who happened to be suppressing a smile. He eventually did not though, but... you are the only person who can make him smile..

"I know, you burned down a kitchen before.." An evil smirk cascaded on his pale face. He knew that would hit you where it hurts, considering you were now silent but squinting your eyes playfully. It definitely wasn't Levi's kitchen, it was Hange's kitchen.. she had to get it remodeled.

Honestly, Levi liked that you couldn't cook, that way, douche bag men will stay away from you and it'll prevent them from making you barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen... he overthinks okay?

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Gripping your wrist ever so tightly, the two of you were walking towards the huge school. It was more of a modern taste, probably because the school was built only 6 years ago. The scale of the school had caused your body to overheat from anxiety. So actually, Levi was pulling you towards the school, no effort needed.

Once that door was open, it was all over. The main entrance had a pretty scenery. It was pictures and everything, though something that was odd was that black people were limited, looked like-

Okay okay, you're overthinking, but this school really doesn't have black people. If they do, they are in sports... which is why there was a man constantly talking on and on about female's basketball team...

You have to admit, you are a stallion.

"She doesn't want to be on the team... Shadis... stop yelling in her face.."

A bit of a concerned smile came upon your face as you glanced towards your father. Who only gave a soft look towards you. Levi may be insensitive at times but when it comes to you being nervous.. he's there.

"Where the hell is the principle..." Levi grumbled under his breath, he was quite late for his class.. but he had to make sure you were going to be fine.. like the worried father he is.

And Like on cue, a fine.. smexy blonde man came from the back door of the front office.. oooh.

His eyebrows were thick and he had this smile on his face. Like he knew who you were, though at the same time he probably already did. This man was in pictures at home, Levi knew him personally.

Apparently this man changed your diaper when you were little too.. so.. low chance of him seeing you any different..

Principal Smith... oohhh

"Levi, I told you yesterday, she'll be fine in my hands.. I can make sure she gets to every class. I'll also make sure nobody messes with her.." Erwin hummed out, knowing these words that came from Levi last week. His voice was deep and sincere, his pretty blue eyes glancing you over.. gawd oh mighty.

"And?" Levi's eyes squinted hard, his face quite serious about the last statement that Erwin seemed to pass by... or forgotten.. Man, someone would think Levi is the principal... and not Erwin.

"I'll make sure Yeager stays away from her.."

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The bell had rung oh so suddenly, the anxiety in you causing you to need to go to the bathroom but... your ancestors had to come down.

They whispered into your ear and explained that you are the baddest bitch in the world. Nobody can take that away from you, nor can the stupid anxiety.

"This is my daughter, (Y/n)... "

The baddest bitch with anxiety...

Every single eye was on you, in front of the class... it was obvious that most were just curious about you, mixed with shocked. When they heard the other day about getting a new student, they figured that it'll be someone... like them. At the same time though.. they could get used to the.. balance of the room.

The window across the room was beaming on your brown skin and it happened to make you look like a goddess. Your lipgloss sparkling as you glanced around, a soft smile on your face. Honestly, that only happened because of the fact that.. your bald friend was waving to you..

Connie...

The other day, a deal was made... Between you and your father. Who is also now your teacher for first period.

The deal was, you clean your room spotless and you get to sit next to Connie in class. Guess who succeeded?...

Your arms wrapped around male as he was blushing a tad. Being almost manhandled by you was everyone's dream at the moment. Especially a male who was behind you and Connie's table. He had this cool haircut, his face was long too but it fit his features.

"Why is she hugging the egg..."

"Jean you're just jealous.." the person who said this happened to be playing with their pencil. She had black hair and.. freckles.. it was cute. She looked mean though.

"Okay and..?"

Connie then began to of course, show off his best friend.. who happened to be you. Apparently what happened was that he told everyone about you one day. Nobody believed him, and Jean being the asshole he is.., he wanted answers so he -reluctantly- asked Levi if he had a daughter...

They weren't expecting someone like you...

Nor was.. this brown haired male who had his eye on you ever since you came in. His intimidating... blue, greenish looking eyes.. it's not something you failed to realize... but at the same time, you could feel your father's eyes as well.

"That's Eren over there, by Armin and Mikasa... he's a little coo-coo... so just talk to Armin and Mikasa.. then that's Bert , Annie, and Reiner, and Ymir, Jean, Sasha is the one eating and Historia.."

Honestly, you were never one to listen to someone when they say don't do something... Connie said don't talk to Eren... but some how... with the fluttering of your eyelashes.. you gave the long haired boy a wink. The wink sending him a burst of confidence that he already had..

it just got worse..

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2

#black reader #poc reader #eren x black reader #three part #aot imagines #aot x black reader

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writing-in-april · 3 years

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A hair’s breadth

Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: Javier and Reader can’t help but be at each others throats. Javier gets fed up with the teasing one night.

A/N: Hey everyone! Here’s my nineteenth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days!!! Sorry this is out late- I had a job interview!! (I got the job! 🥳) This is based off of this and this request! There’s not as much Spanish in this one- though one day soon I want to try to write all the dialogue for Javier in Spanish- (I am trying to learn how to be better at it im just very nervous I’ll get it all wrong 🙃) Please feel free to drop me a message in my inbox here (I promise I don’t bite) Thank you for reading and hope y’all enjoy!

Warnings: 18+, Smut, Protected Sex (wrap it up especially with Javier lol), Fingering, Hate fucking, Public sex (who’s surprised), Hair pulling, Choking, Mirror sex

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.9k

“Do that again I dare you.” Javier had you pushed up against the wall of his apartment, with his hand around your throat. How you had gotten in this position was as a result of one of your regular fights you often had with him.

This time it had been over something even more petty than the last time. You honestly couldn’t remember exactly what had started it. It had been something to do with some obscure line in the paperwork you were filling out while over at his apartment late at night past embassy hours. What had been a small issue then turned into a full blown argument, snapping and yelling at each other until it reached its peak.

Javier knew that he shouldn’t have said that just by the look on his face while he had a hand around your throat. You had slapped him after a misogynistic comment, which then had him slamming you up against the wall.

“Fuck you!” You yelled, but did not move to get out of his grip. He was about to respond with probably another biting comment when you were both interrupted.

You both looked over to his front door when there was incessant knocking, which was probably only from one person. “Hey Javi! Do you or Y/N want to go out for a drink tonight?” Steve’s voice being shouted through the walls confirmed the source of the knocks. You were glad his door was closed, otherwise this would've been an awkward situation to explain to your coworker.

Javier looked back at you one last time with a hard look on his face; it was a normal occurrence for you to receive that type of look from him. You smiled despite his hand around your throat as you had gotten what you had wanted, you had succeeded in riling him up.

Steve knocked again, this time a little harsher. He didn’t look away this time, eyes narrowing in on you further, like he was trying to decide if he should release you from his clutches. Though, it wasn’t that you were completely helpless, you could force him off of you if you wanted. But, you wanted to see what he would do.

“Are you going to answer him?” You goaded, biting your lip when you finished speaking, eagerly waiting for his response. No verbal comment came from him, instead he released the hold he had on your neck. You slumped a little, not out of pain as his hold hadn’t been that tight, you had just been surprised when he released you so quickly.

“Lo siento…” Was mumbled under Javier’s breath. You wondered if he meant for you to hear it or if he said it only to ease his conscience.

Javier walked over to the door to swing it open with you in tow, luckily already recovered somewhat from his hand around your throat. Steve jumped slightly when Javier opened it forcefully, then smiling when you both responded to his question, albeit gruffly, “Yeah, sure.”

—-

Javier clenched his fist hard while you took a drink, smirking into the glass was the only indication that you knew exactly what you were doing. You had spruced yourself up a bit to go to the bar, slipping on a dress you had just bought recently and putting on a pair of high heels. As soon as you had appeared back downstairs where Steve and Javier had been waiting for you his jaw had clenched hard, just like his fist was doing right now.

You were sat at the edge of the booth you had all congregated in, Javier was right across from me and Steve was by the window absentmindedly drinking a beer. He didn’t notice how you were sat slightly to the side, inching the dress you wore higher just to see Javier’s fist clench more.

“I’m surprised you guys were actually working together without me there.” Steve scratched at his jaw. We both pretended to partially focus back on him for a moment, Javier’s fist dropped much to my disappointment.

You glanced over at him then giving him one of the biggest lies you’ve ever told, “We’ve found a way to- resolve our differences.”

Javier took an angry gulp of whiskey, somehow it was possible that he was now even more pissed off at you then before. He opened his mouth to probably say something backhanded as usual, but Steve steamrolled him unintentionally, “Well- I’m glad, the office is kinda painful to be in when y’all are having one of your arguments.”

“Well hopefully we won’t bother you anymore.” Javier finally got a word in and it was just as snippy as expected.

You then downed the rest of your drink in one gulp, a little tipsy now from the few drinks you’d had so far. A dull thud from you setting the glass down on the table was swallowed by the noises of the other customers and employees around you. You got up, fed up with getting only little responses from him, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

—-

“Javier what are you doing?” You asked incredulously when he entered the women’s restroom, but weren’t given an answer. You didn’t pull away when he pulled you close, dipping his head to suck a hickey on the underside of your jaw. You only keened into his touch, you may have hated him, but it did feel amazing. Your teasing had worked

“I told Steve I was going to the bathroom too.” Giving a quick summary before continuing his assault on your skin, “You drive me absolutely crazy.” He spitefully said into your skin in between sucking and biting your collarbone. You didn’t care enough to respond, he knew you felt the same. In a flash he pulled your dress off of your head, exposing all of you except what was covered by your bra and underwear.

When he then gripped his fingers around the fabric of your panties and ripped them off, you gasped in anger. He then ran his fingers through your folds, stopping at your clit to run small circles into it. You were still angry about the ruined panties on the floor, and the fact that with just a few touches he was proving why everyone fell at his feet after they slept with them. “I liked those!”

“You seem to like this too.” His fingers sped up their movements, alternating between hard and light pressure. Your orgasm was building embarrassingly quickly, you almost wanted to hold it back so Javier didn’t get a big head. It felt too good though, and you didn’t have a lot of time.

You were both a hair’s breadth away from getting caught, Javier’s fingers continued their movements with no thought. Steve was drunk, he might even be asleep right now. But, one wrong move and he’d hear Javier fucking you in the bathroom.

“Javier!” You shouted, not thinking about the volume, when he pulled his fingers away from you just as you were about to fall off the edge. He then brought his wet fingers to his lips, sucking off any evidence of your arousal. It was hard to be mad when he looked so hot doing that, even though your clit was throbbing now.

“Need to fuck you now- this’ll take too long if we wait for you.” You wanted to snap at him again, his comment flippant and somewhat rude. That was until he pulled his cock out of his pants, already hard just for you. Your mind switched gears after that.

“Condom?” He grunted in response to your question, then pulled one out of his wallet. You were about to ask how long it had been in there, but with the rate he fucks, you doubted it had been there for long.

Once he slipped it on he commanded, “Bend over.” You scoffed, about to retort that you’d never bend over for him. But, Javier beat you to the punch, “I won’t ask again, I’ll leave you here naked and dripping.” You shuddered at that, your arousal was too much to ignore. So, you let him have one victory, hopping off the counter to bend over.

You caught sight of your disheveled state in the mirror, your legs buckling a little because of it. You already looked completely ruined by him, and he hadn’t done much besides fingering you. Javier must have caught you staring at yourself, and him if you were being honest, wrapping his hand around your hair to push you closer to the mirror. “¿Que? You like watching yourself? You like getting fucked while Steve and everybody else could hear you?”

You tried to nod your head, but with his firm grip on your hair while he began to sink into you, all you could do was moan. Once you realized that you were most definitely being too loud you stopped yourself making any noise by biting your lip hard. When the front of Javier’s thighs hit the back of yours he leaned forward to whisper angrily in your ear, “Yeah- you do like this.”

His pace was rough, but not sloppy, quick thrusts that had your ass rippling from the force. This was going to be a quick and dirty fuck, Steve would soon come looking for us if we didn’t get our orgasms over and done with. Besides, all you were looking for was a release, being with Javier for more time than was necessary just sounded like a punishment. Despite the pace he was keeping up, he still managed to keep your head right where he wanted it, looking directly in the mirror.

Your orgasm was building up again, even faster than before since you were already sensitive. At one point when your eyes began to roll back as you got closer Javier snapped that you should keep your eyes open.

“Come on, cum.” He growled out once he noticed how close you were, “Cum while Steve is out there- wondering where we went.”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head at that, your orgasm crashing over you. Javier reached his own peak while you were riding out your own, filling the condom, gripping your hair and hip hard as he did.

Once your highs had abated he pulled out of you with a groan, quickly tying off the condom while you were still bent over and recovering with gasped breaths.

“Hey Javier?” You asked right as he began to turn around to go, letting you put your clothes back on and clean up in peace.

“¿Sì?” He turned around to face you again, looking much more put back together than you were with your makeup still smudged. You had the remnants of the panties he had ripped off of you dangling on your finger.

You wrapped your other hand around his belt he put back on, pulling him back closer to you so you were both chest to chest. You then stuffed the scrap of torn fabric into the front pocket of his jeans until they were completely hidden.

“Now you get to sit right next to Steve while they’re in your pocket.” He gulped a little and you gave one last remark before turning back to clean up your makeup, “And, you’ve got to pay for a new pair, I liked those.”

Though he boiled your blood as you walked back to the table where he had joined Steve back at you realized you were only a hairs breadth away from not hating him.

Ask Me Anything

—-

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All Works: @shotarosleftpinky @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @spenxerslut @boxofsparklingmuses @katexrichardson @takeyourleap-of-faith

Javier Peña/Narcos: @pascalesque

#javier peña #javier peña smut #javier peña x reader #narcos #javier peña fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #narcos x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #30 fics in 30 days

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resident-leevil-old · 3 years

Text

okay well anyways somebody asked me if i felt like talking about my raccoon city survivors au with mia and ethan again and the answer is YES.

> AU MINI FACTS <

- Ethan's mother died while giving birth.

- Ethan Winters and his father moved into Raccoon City when Ethan was a baby, around 3-4 years old.

- Ethan trans ftm because im trans and i said so.

- Mia trans mtf because im trans and i said so.

- Ethan & Mia are childhood friend to lovers in this au.

- Ethan's father worked for Umbrella, and Mia's father worked for the Connections while her mother also worked for Umbrella.

- Mia was born in Texas, but her family moved to Raccoon City after she was born. They still owned property in Texas, though.

- Mia & Carlos are related because I said so.

- so yknow the "dude its been three years" guy? that's their childhood friend and his name is Kyde because i said so.

- Albert Wesker Personally was ordered by Spencer to kill those scientists btw.

- a lot of this au is because i said so tbh

> AU SUMMARY <

Ethan Winters, Mia Oliviera, and Kyde Wells work together to survive six days of the Raccoon City Outbreak. In the process they uncover secrets and encounter many obstacles that just nearly cost them their lives.

> CHAR.BGROUND <

ETHAN W, SR - A scientist who worked for Umbrella. He lost his wife during the birth of his child E///// Winters. Struggling with the death of his wife and the harsh decline of his mental health, he began to experiment with viruses and vaccines in an attempt to bring his wife back, even using his child as a subject at certain points due to the child having strong genes from the mother. He acknowledged that he was a horrid father, but justified his actions by claiming he would bring back a better mother. He thought of Albert Wesker as a friend, and told him the truth of his research.

ETHAN W, JR - A quiet 14 year old that had a hard time making friends. Due to experiments from his father, Ethan is a culmination of infections and viruses that each impact him in different ways. As he grew up Ethan refrained from talking too much as to not interrupt his father's work, causing him to become selectively mute.

MIA OLIVIERA - Younger sister of Carlos Oliviera. Mia skipped a grade due to her intelligence and advanced knowledge on many things kids her age normally didn't. She very easily got sick as a child, though she seemed to outgrow it as she got older. She was schooled both at home and at school before the outbreak. She shared classes with Ethan Winters (Jr) and Kyde Wells.

KYDE WELLS - A friend of Ethan & Mia, known for his cowardice. Kyde has a heavy sense of self preservation, but a weighted sense of compassion as well. He only ever has risked himself for his two friends.

JAMES HARISON - Mia's father. He worked for the Connections as a scientist and a researcher. Harison and his wife often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

MARISA OLIVIERA - Mia's mother. He worked for Umbrella as a researcher. Oliviera and her husband often exchanged information they learned from their jobs, aiming to and succeeding at "fixing" their daughter's proneness to viral sicknesses.

JAKE VERANO - An Umbrella worker who had been trapped in the underground facility for a week, listening to the sound of his coworkers being eaten alive. Unstable because of his experience, he tries to create a cure using the intel of Ethan W (SR).

> FULL AU <

[September, 25, 1998.]

Ethan Winters walked home from school when his father failed to pick him up. He walked through the streets, paying no mind to a big fight breaking out near him. On the way home, he meets up with his friend Kyde who had also been walking home. They talk and walk together for a bit, before splitting up.

When Ethan arrived home, he noticed the front door of his house had been opened slightly. Confused, but wary, he entered the house, knowing it was uncharacteristic for his father to forget the door was open.

He entered the living room, and found his father laying on the ground dead, shot twice in the head, having just been killed moments prior. Ethan moved over to his father, before Albert Wesker walked out of his father's office.

Ethan barely has much time to react to him, overwhelmed by his own panic and the death of the only adult in his life. Wesker - wanting no witnesses - shoots him three times in the chest, and leaves under the impression the child is dead for good.

Ethan Winters dies for the first time that evening.

[September, 27, 1998]

For the past two days, Mia and her parents have been barricaded in their home, unable to leave safely. Mia sat in her room for most of the time, unable to look out of the windows due to boards covering them. During those two days Mia tries to call Ethan and Kyde several times in hopes that they were safe. Neither of them answer.

Until this day, the 27th, at 2:00 am, when she calls Ethan. And he answers.

{TRANSCRIPT OF THEIR CALL:}

Ethan: h-hello?

Mia: [Ethan]! You're alive! Are you okay?

Ethan: I'm breathing. [Pause] I'm breathing. You okay?

Mia: I'm boarded up in my house, we can't leave safely. Everything is a mess. I'm so glad you're alive, [Ethan]. Are you safe? I'm guessing you're safe.

Ethan: Not sure. Not sure. Find you soon, here alone. Alone.

Mia: Alone? What happened? Where's your dad?

Ethan: [Pause.] [Loud sound in the distance.]

Mia: [Ethan]? Are you okay?

Ethan: [Dial tone.]

Mia speaks with her parents about the call, expressing worry about her friend. She spends a while trying to convince her parents that Ethan may be alive (purposefully omitting the dial tone) and need their help. Finally, they agree, and at 12 pm, they head out with all the resources they could gather.

Managing to stay out of sight, the family make it to the Winters' household. They find Ethan hiding in his bedroom, one infected laying in the hallway with a pole through its head and Ethan's father laying in the living room dead.

They rescue Ethan, and flee from the house. Mia's parents explain that they need to evacuate the city, but that they wouldn't be able to drive, so they'd have to move on foot. They returned to their house and rested for the night.

[September, 28, 1998]

The family and Ethan head out again, this time aiming to evacuate the city. After several close encounters with large groups of infected, the kids and Mia's parents are unfortunately separated. Given instructions by her parents, Mia leads Ethan through the city, having to take detours due to infected blocking pathways.

Eventually, during the night, they run into Kyde, who has lost his parents trying to escape the city. The three of them take refuge in an empty abandoned house, and rest for the walk in the morning.

Ethan sits up for a while, thinking about what happened to him, and trying to figure out how to explain it to his friends. Eventually he falls asleep, unable to figure it out. In the morning they head out again.

[September, 29-30, 1998]

During another detour taken due to large groups of infected, Ethan is kidnapped by a man in a white lab coat.

Mia & Kyde go after them, refusing to leave Ethan behind. They manage to find him after roughly half a day had passed.

Ethan had been in a hysterical state and through tears he explains to Mia and Kyde what had happened to him in his house a few days ago, confessing that he had died and revived two days later. He warns the two of them that whatever Jake, the white lab coat man, did to him, it made him dangerous and unstable.

Mia and Kyde refused again to leave him behind, and spend hours gathering information from files and research left scattered around. They manage to make Something that was able to calm him down and cleanse what they had learned had been called the "T-virus" from his body.

As soon as Ethan had woken up again, they fleed the facility, Mia & Kyde both making sure he didn't collapse on the way.

[October, 1, 1998]

They don't stop running when they're out. A broadcast goes out saying that the city will be blown up in four hours due to being unable to contain the outbreak. The three of them realize they won't be able to get out if they take anymore detours unless they find a vehicle with gas in it and a clear road to drive on.

Three hours later, out of options, nearly to the city boarder, and faced with another group of infected blocking the only straight shot out, they decide to risk a run through. However, just as they were pushing through, a helicopter flew overhead and spotted them. Calling to them, the pilot tells them to attempt making it up a building nearby if they could.

Through pure bullshittery and luck, they manage to make it up, and they board the helicopter. Just as it begins to take flight, the city starts to blow up bit by bit. In the distance, they see other helicopters flying.

> AFTER THE AU <

Mia and her parents reunite, her parents having managed to get out before the children did. Kyde goes to live with his relatives in Texas, and Ethan is offered to live with them as well.

Mia's parents move back to their texas home, and everyone who had been in the city were given therapy. Eventually the three grow up and graduate from highschool, and move on to other things, never once separating.

The three of them eventually move into a single house together in California, and some time after that Mia and Ethan get married. And for a while they live happily

And then, Mia witnesses Ethan having some sort of attack in the middle of the night one time, and realizes that he hadn't been completely cured of whatever had been infecting him in the city at all, and that it had only gone dormant for some years. While he wasn't vicious or attacking anyone, Ethan had just been really plagued and didn't even remember the fits that only seemed to happen every other night.

Out of worry and fear, Mia begins to work for the Connections, hoping there was something she could learn from them in order to help her husband finally be cured. And years after, RE7 began.

And THAT, my friends, is my Raccoon City Survivors au with the Winters, also known as Raccoon City Winters.

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hikari-writes · 4 years

Text

『Dr. Stone』

Fluff Oneshot

❝ Only To You ❞

Request: Hey! ^^ Can I ask for a scenario where Ryusui constantly flirts with the reader and it's clear that he likes her. But she doesen't like his greedy and capitalist personality but somehow still finds him charming and she's very conflicted and there's a lot of tension (somewhat like tsundere dinamics). So some angst but fluff at the end. Sorry if it's weird >

Pairing: Nanami Ryusui

Warning: LOTSA FLOOF

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1.9k

I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE i had trouble making this one ngl,,, I'm not the bezt at making a angst+fluff fanfic 😔 if it's angst, i gotta make it full on angst and if it's fluff i gotta make it full on fluff. So im sorry this has no crumbs of angst 😢 or,,, should i even be sorry??? Do u even wanna angst 😳😳😳 lmao but anyways! I finally finished my last request and I'm drained. Hope you like this,, lotsa love!

“You're looking beautiful as always, Y/N.”

You shot a glare at Ryusui before turning away from him.

"....What do you want?"

"I was just saying what's on my mind. No need to get so defensive," he said as he grins, showing his neatly aligned, pearly white teeth.

You heaved a sigh in defeat. This man has been constantly flirting with you ever since he first saw you and you *don't* like the attention you're receiving.

He may have been a popular rich kid back in the modern world with many beautiful women beside him, but in this stone age, you couldn't help but to see him in a bad vision.

You're not one to mind flirty behaviours shown by others, but what made you truly detest Ryusui is because of his greedy and arrogant nature. It just somehow hit your nerve, and you don't like it.

"Do you need help with that?" He asked as he pointed towards a pile of fabric you were carrying. They were meant to be sent to Yuzuriha, and you did not wish to waste any more time on Ryusui so you just shook your head in response and quickly left him.

As you tried to leave, you accidentally tripped on a stick that was lying around and fell flat on your face. The pain from the fall hurts, but it was nothing serious. Rather, you were more concerned of Ryusui who just witnessed your embarrassing fall.

You turned to face him but he wasn't at his previous spot. You wondered where he went off to when suddenly he appeared in front of your eyes with a concerned face.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked as he cupped both your cheeks in his hands, inspecting every single part of your beautiful face. The close distance between your faces and the warmth his hands were radiating made your face flushed. You completely froze in your spot, not knowing what to do.

After a few more seconds had passed, you finally snapped back into reality and moved away from his touch.

"Don't touch me so casually, please," your voice came out louder and calmer than you had intended, and you internally praised yourselves for not stuttering at all even though your face beet red.

"I'm sorry about that, but are you really okay? You didn't hurt yourself from the fall or anything?"

The way he asked that in such a concerned and genuine manner made your heart skip a beat. You didn't know he was that concerned about your well-being.

"I'm perfectly fine. Please excuse me."

You quickly left him alone, more careful this time as to not trip for the second time.

Ryusui watched as your back slowly left his vision before standing up from his crouching position.

"You really like her, don't you?"

He turned back to see Gen leaning against a wall while looking at him with the eyes of all-knowing.

"You can ompliment-cay all the women in this world, but in the end, she's the only one you'll ever look at with those eyes."

Ryusui gave a light scoff at his statement.

"I hate to admit it to you, but yeah, you're absolutely right."

How could he not? You may act cold around him, but he always saw how sweet and kind you can be. How hardworking and stubborn you are sometimes made him smile to himself. How he wished he could hold you in his arms right now.

~~**~~

You stopped in your tracks as you heard the familiar boisterous voice that belonged to no one other than Ryusui. He was talking with Senku and the others. Probably about something important but you noticed how his charming smile never left his face during the discussion.

You were so caught up in staring at him that you didn't realize the approaching Minami behind you.

"Who are you staring at, hmm?"

You almost screamed at the sudden surprise but you managed to cover your mouth before then and when you turned around, your eyes narrowed at the grinning Minami.

"Stop scaring me like that, Minami," you said as you glared at her. She only grinned mischievously as a response and looked over you to see who you were staring at.

"I smelled a maiden in love so I just had to. But anyways, you were looking at Ryusui huh?"

Your face turned red at her guess, exposing the fact that you indeed were staring at him. Minami's grin widened as she saw your reaction.

"I wasn't staring at anyone. Besides, I'm not a 'maiden in love' or anything. I DON'T like him," you turned away from her, covering your face to hide the blush that's forming on your face.

"I doubt that~ You were totally staring at him. I know you like him, Y/N."

A vein popped on your forehead and you continued glaring at her who seemed to be too excited about someone else's love life.

"Oh, fancy seeing you two beauties here."

Ryusui's voice from behind you made you let out a squeal in surprise. You quickly hid behind Minami, using her as a shield from Ryusui.

Ryusui blinked in confusion when he saw how defensive you got as soon as he came close to you. A little part of him was a bit hurt because of what you did, but he decided to not pay it any mind and continued smiling at you two. Gen who was near looked at you in amusement. He didn't expect you to get so embarrassed to the point of hiding behind Minami.

"What were you two talking about?"

At his question, you glared daggers at Minami, silently warning her to not spill the beans. She just sweatdropped as a response.

"Nothing much," she replied to him nonchalantly. He looked dissatisfied with the vague answer and was about to question more but before he could you had already tugged at Minami's arm, pulling her away from him.

"Sorry, but we're a bit busy. Excuse us."

And with that, you quickly left him all the while dragging Minami along with you.

As soon as you and Minami were no longer on sight, Ryusui heaved a quiet sigh. He wanted to talk more with you, but with the way it is now, it didn't seem possible.

"Well, if she hates me then, I'll just do everything I can to make her mine!"

Ryusui declared that loudly, showing his greedy nature to the world. Gen shook his head in disappointment.

"The both of you are really idiots," he whispered that softly to himself.

~~**~~

"You know that Ryusui likes you, right?"

The sudden question by Kohaku that was aimed at you made you choke on your water. Yuzuriha who was beside you quickly rubbed circles behind your back, easing your coughing.

"W-where did you even get that idea??"

Kohaku's lips formed into a cat-like smile, amused at your flustered reaction.

"I mean, it's kinda obvious? He always flirts and compliments you most of the time. Sure, he is like that towards everyone but there's something special that he only shows to you, y'know?"

Your face flushed at her statement, but you never let yourself be indulged in the idea that Ryusui had some kind of special feelings towards you.

"Don't be ridiculous. He's like that towards everyone. There's...no way he would like me. I keep acting like such a cold person towards him."

Everyone fell silent at your confession. They don't understand how you could be so dense of Ryusui's feelings towards you. And it's clear that you also felt the same towards him, even if you keep denying it.

"Then, why don't you give him a confession chocolate next Valentine?"

Nikki suddenly suggested that, breaking the heavy silence.

"That's right! I heard from Taiju that Senku's planning to make chocolate for Valentine's. I think that's perfect," Yuzuriha chimed in, nodding her head along.

"That's...a bit….uhm…."

You tried to find the right word to decline the suggestion but after seeing all the girl's pleading eyes, you just can't bring yourself to say no to them.

"Fine. But I'm just making him a chocolate! No more no less."

The girls all cheered in unison, succeeding in convincing you to make chocolate for Ryusui.

~~**~~

You held the box of chocolate you had decorated neatly close to your rapidly beating heart. You had helped Senku and the others in making the chocolate in hopes of understanding the process better before making it yourself. The taste was pretty good, if you'd say so yourself.

That night, you searched for Ryusui everywhere. You hadn't seen him at all today. You asked several other people of his whereabouts but they all shrugged their shoulders, not knowing where the greedy blonde was either.

In the end, you decided to just search for him in his tent. Surprisingly, he was there. Although, he's not awake. You saw him peacefully sleeping with his captain hat on his laid body.

Your heart raced at the rare sight of him without his hat. The peaceful face of him sleeping made him all the more charming and you could've sworn the sound of your heartbeat was loud enough for other people to hear.

You decided to leave the box of chocolate right beside him and leave it at that. However, as soon as you sat beside him, his eyes shot open and he grabbed your wrist with a lopsided grin adorning his face.

"Hmm~ What were you trying to do, Y/N?"

You tried to retreat back your wrist that he's holding but he didn't loosen the grip on it at all. Your face turned bright red once again and you looked down in embarrassment, unable to look him in the eyes.

"Nothing! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Then what's that box you have there?"

You tried to quickly hide the chocolate box after he pointed it out in hopes he'd forget about it but you yourself knew that it's pointless.

He sat himself up while still holding onto your wrist.

"Is that for me?"

He asked, his voice was soft, unlike how loud he's always been.

You slowly nod your head. There's no use in hiding that now.

He reached behind you for the chocolate box. Your breath hitched at the closeness of his face with yours. You could feel his breath brushed your face gently. By the time he had already gotten the chocolate box, your face was already as red as tomato.

He stared at your flushed face. You hadn't realized it since your eyes are spinning from the embarrassment. He softly cupped your cheeks in both of his hands and made you face him.

"I like you," he softly whispered to you. It was just your gut feelings, but you *know* he meant every word he said. Your heart was filled to the brim and you couldn't be happier to hear those words come out of his mouth.

"I...like you too..."

He gave his signature smile before slowly bringing your face closer to his...when suddenly,

"Hey! Stop pushing!"

"It's not me! It's Kohaku-chan!"

"Lower your voice a bit!"

The obvious whisper-yelling voices of the people outside interrupted your kiss. You pulled your head away from him and turned to the front of the tent.

"All of you can't be more obvious!"

The voices went silent before they entered the tent with awkward grins on their faces. Your face went bright red but no longer than a second later, Ryusui burst into laughter.

"Well, isn't this great? Everyone here can witness that you're mine."

Then, he swooped you into a loving kiss, surprising everyone with his action, including yourself.

You felt like you would faint after he pulled away from the kiss and your face was so hot and red to the point there's even steam coming out of it. Ryusui just grinned nonchalantly after what he just did. You swear this man will be the death of you.

The End

#dr stone x reader #dr. stone #dr stone #dr stone ryusui #ryusui nanami #ryusui nanami x reader #dr stone fanfiction #dr stone fanfic

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dramaticnerdwithanxiety11 · 3 years

Text

, LITERALLY WHO LOOKS AT NICK FUCKING RUSSEL AND GOES “mm yes, take my autism”

THIS IS AN ISSUE

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

whatever its too late now! you get to hear me talk about it to avoid writing it!!

So, i’ll be explaining the show for you newbs who dont watch power rangers like a smart person (as in the not watching it is smart).

Power Rangers Mystic Force is, obviously, power rangers. It’s got the standard team of five with superpowers and weird biker-looking uniforms.

If im honest, PRMF is literally just power rangers but with like fantasy magic.

It follows Nick Russell, the new guy in town. He’s a biker and he’s got this tragic bs backstory about how his parents abandoned him (update: they work overseas, they adopted him and like do not vibe with him) and he travels, living with family members and how he never sticks around long enough to make friends. We know he’s staying with his sister, and about nothing else. ~ Nick Russell is actually really important, of course, he is the Red Ranger and if we didn’t have the leader be angsty what kind of Power Rangers would we be, am I right? (i dunno i havent watched other power rangers in like ten years) ~

But we’ll come back to that. ~

There’s also Charlie “Chip” Thorn, a hyperactive hyperimaginative redhead with a love for fantasy and superheroes. He’s eager to join the team and loves the idea of quests and fighting villains and shit. He’s the Yellow Ranger, with Lightning Powers. ~

Vida Rocca, the ‘bad girl’. She has this one strip of her short hair that she dyes and may I just say when I finished the show a third time I couldnt not think ‘yO HER HAIR CHANGES TO SHOW HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THE RANGERS’ but lets be honest thats probably bs lol. Anyways, she’s a DJ and she loves music, she’s the Pink Ranger (who hates pink for most of the show) with Wind Powers. ~

Madison Rocca, the ‘good girl’. She’s Vida’s sister, and she like following the rules and she enjoys recording her friends to make little videos for them to look back on when theyre older. She’s hesitant and cautious, but will do a lot to make sure her sister is safe. She’s the Blue Ranger, with the power of Water. ~

Xander Bly, he’s cocky and thinks hes all that, and flirts with women like every chance he gets. He thinks he’s super handsome and amazing and probably has a superiority complex for one reason or another. He’s the green ranger, with Nature Powers. ~

Not rangers include: ~

Koragg, one of the big bads who (SPOILERS) later turns out to be Nick’s father and Udonna’s long lost husband. Early on in the show he can telepathically communicate with Nick, which gives Nick these really really bad headaches, great for angst, it’s used as a bit of a plot device through a lot of the show and ngl I love it cause angst. ~

Uhh forgot her name but there’s the Vampire Queen who has bat wings on her hips and is in a full leather body suit. She’s kinda boring. ~

I forgot her name as well but the Vampire Queens daughter, who later goes on to save her mother because she realizes that the Rangers are the good guys and she’s on the wrong team. ~

Udonna, the kinda ex White Ranger and a very powerful sorceress, as well as the Ranger’s trainer and Claire’s aunt. ~

Claire, (SPOILERS) who turns out to be the Daughter of Udonna’s sister, who was more powerful than her and sacrificed her life to seal the gate to what is essentially hell. She’s comedically bad at magic early in the show, and acts a lot like a comedic relief. ~

The Master, aka The Big Bad that the evil guys are trying to let free. Koragg before he became Koragg was trying to kill him and succeeded in trapping him further than all the others. He’s some weird tentical creepy muscles-showing no skinned weird i dunno i think i repressed this cause i forgot what he looks like lol.

Alright, so those are the characters. Now let me explain the plot.

Nick rides into town on his bike and is usually found set up outside the record shop that the rest of the Rangers (yet to be) work at. Btw, theyre all teenagers, but I think this takes place in summer cause we never see them go to school.

Anyways, this old man calls for somebody to help him, and says that his brother and him were walking through the woods and somebody grabbed him, and he needed somebody to go looking for his brother. Nick, not being apart of the town to know they have rumours about dying in the forest, offers to help.

Xander tells him the woods are haunted, he ignores the man saying the man needs help so who gives a shit about some rumours, and then Vida is like “i’ll help too,” and Chip joins in cause he thinks its gonna be some awesome quest. They make it out to the forest, and Maddie and Xander join them, (”Xander I told you if you ever took my car I’d rearrange your limbs!” -Vida, episode one).

The man is like super ominous and her vanishes once they get into the forest, this creepy witch lady saves them from some bad guys attempting to attack them, and then throws brooms at them that they fly off on.

Time skip not actually in the show but im losing steam so we’re moving on. Eventually, they make it to RootCore, aka the base of operations, and meet Udonna and Claire. Udonna is this super powerful sorceress and the White Ranger, and she trains them. Claire is her apprentice who is comedically bad at magic.

She hands out wands to them, they go to leave, get into a fight, all of them but Nick believe in and use magic, Nick leaves the forest, Udonna fights Koragg and loses her staff aka her White Ranger magic, and the Rangers are left in charge of saving everybody. In the end, Nick goes to leave and ends up showing up anyways to save the rangers from Koragg and embraces the magic, becoming the Red Ranger.

That’s the gist of the first episode, and the rest is kinda just “fight the bad guys, discover random secrets that make a surprising amount of sense for a show like this, fail a couple times, do some weird shit then end on a happy note”

WHICH BTW THE ENDING? FUCKIN WEIRD

The fantasy creatures integrate with Humans, Vida dyes all her hair bright pink, Nick fucking leaves town and this is the weird part. Because for one, Nick wanted to stay with his friends it was obvious, but for two; the way he left was w e i r d . He, Udonna and not-evil-Koragg who I forgot the name of, leave together.

The end scene is Nick riding up to the edge of the rode on his Motorcycle, then it slowly pans out to show Udonna and Nek (im just calling him Nek as in not evil koragg now) on bikes as well?? one of them asks if hes ready to go and they ~ride off into the sunset~

For one: THESE ARE AGE OLD SORCERERS WHO HAVE VERY LITTLE IDEA ABOUT HUMAN TECH?? HOW DO THEY KNOW HOW TO RIDE??

For two: dID THEY JUST HAVE THESE BIKES RIDING AROUND?? AND THE HELMETS?? DID THEY SHELL OUT A BUNCH OF MONEY FOR THIS?? LITERALLY WHAT???

anyways, great show! youve gotta watch it on some.. less than legal sites but shh its okay shhhh. It used to be on Netflix but like yaknow, its gone now. Either way, it’s a great show in my opinion! Like I mean it’s bad cause Power Rangers, so to most who are looking to critique there’s probably shit acting, and there’s a lot of not needed grunting in battle, the effects are shitty and the costumes are kinda depressing, but it’s still enjoyable!

Random Facts-- ~

Vida hates Pink, despite being the pink ranger. ~

Chip, Vida, and Maddie have been friends since either kindergarten or elementary school, i dunno about Xander. ~

They all work at a Record Shop/Music Shop together, and their boss is an idiot but kinda entertaining. ~

Vida turns into a vampire for about two episodes, and Chip is the one to figure it out. ~

Maddie gets turned to stone because Nick essentially calls her useless and shy, and so she went out to prove otherwise, and got caught up in an attack. ~

Chip opens a weird black bottle he found after a battle and some weird thing comes out and attacks him, he spends the B Plot of that episode quite literally dying with his soul being eaten and climbing a mountain to get the cure. ~

Koragg has a really dumb moral code about how he only fights with Honor and refuses to kill the rangers most of the time because its “not honorable” for some reason or another. ~

There’s an episode where Xander gets this really really ugly and big zit right on the tip of his nose, and he uses this perfection potion Claire made for plants. He proceeds to turn into a literal tree and be depressed. ~

There’s a Troblin, the child of a Troll and a Goblin, named Phineas who’s very entertaining and I like this. By the end of the show, he ends up dating the daughter of the Vampire Queen which when you think too hard about makes no sense. ~

Nick turns into Koragg at one point late in the series. I completely fucking forgot how, but he does lol.

#power rangers #mystic force #power rangers mystic force #tw swearing #swearing tw #probably #caps tw #tw caps #infodump #i love this show #can you tell?#infodumping #v fun to talk about #its a great show #anyways im gonna make another post now and talk about #my fic

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spideyanakin · 4 years

Text

Le vent se lève, il faut tenter de vivre

Peter Parker x Reader

A/n : this was definitely not inspired by Barbie Mermaidia 👀

Synopsis; The wind rises its time to try and live. Peter becomes Spider-Man and has to push you away. He realises its the biggest mistake hes ever made.

🧚🏼‍♀️Masterlist 🧚🏼‍♀️

You and Peter had always been the best of friends. You were almost inseparable since the day you met. Both of you were desperately in love with each other, and everyone knew it. But neither of you wanted to ruin the perfect friendship you had, so you both stayed quiet enjoying your precious friendship.

You were only 12 the day you got bitten and far from being ready to handle such powers, and you thanked Peter every day for being there for you.

You were soon under Tony Stark's wing, and Peter loved all your stories. But when you came back every day with a brand new adventure to tell, the same name came up and filled him with jealousy.

You apparently had another best friend. One that was a superhero this time. The name Wiccan came up in all your stories and even buzzed up your phone.

Peter knew very well who he was even if he'd never met him. It was this fantastique new Avenger who was about your age. He was apparently somehow related to Scarlet Witch, and Peter hated how close the two of you were.

So when Peter heard some parts of your conversation with him and the words "I love you." and "Babe" popped up, Peter didn't even know how to react. It made him sick and boil up with jealousy that these words weren't for him

But because he loved you, he sucked it up and kept his anger for himself, wondering why you never talked about your relationship with the hero.

A little after Peter turned 15 your fates intertwined like it was meant to be. He got bitten the same way you did.

When he woke up from his 15h nap, you were there with a hot bowl of soup, speaking only in whispers.

The second you walked in the room and made eye contact with him you felt sudden sparks, almost impossible to explain.

"Hey" his rasped voice rang through his small room.

"You ok?" You took a seat on his bed.

"Yeah" he cleared his throat and sat up, the covers falling from his bare chest.

Your eyes quickly darted from his eyes to his chest and his chest to his eyes. You'd seen Peter shirtless millions of times but this was different. He was ripped like he'd been working out for days on end.

You felt your cheeks burn up and you cleared your throat realizing the spider bite truly had the same effect it had on you years ago.

"How's that spider bite treating you."

"Alright." He sighed and took your hand playing with your fingers for a few seconds "I feel terrible." He laughed to himself before finding himself stuck to your hand. He shook it a few times panicking when your hand didn't leave his.

"Oh my god." You laughed. "Happened to me with paper. Trust me, way worst." You shook your head. "Here." You placed a hand on top of his and looked him in the eyes. "I want you to relax Peter. Ok? Think of something you love, take a deep breath" You smiled and he nodded, Peter only having to look up to see the thing he loved the most.

A few seconds later and his hand slipped away from yours, both your hands suddenly feeling cold.

"Thanks."

You gave him a small smile suddenly feeling calm when you were around him. You felt like you could take anything as long as he was with you. You didn't know if it was you spider senses pushing together, or just the fact that you had the biggest crush on him.

"You'll learn to control it." You smiled taking his hand in yours. "Don't worry."

Your phone buzzed showing the name Peter hated so much. A bitter taste of jealousy filled Peter's mouth, making him determined to be better than any superhero ever was. He didn't know if it was the spider bite who made him this brave but he sure liked the feeling.

"Hi, babe." Your bubbly voice rang through Peter's ears like poison.

"Oh ok." You frowned. "Coming right away."

"I have to go, Tony needs me." You stood up and grabbed your bag from the floor. "I really wish I could stay." you gave him an apologetic smile and kissed his cheek before leaving.

Peter dropped on his bed and sighed in frustration, hating the thought of you loving someone else. He was sick to be just your friend, he really wanted more.

So one thing led to another and Peter left into the city, not waiting for you to help him, he wanted to get strong and show you he was more worthy than any hero.

"That was amazing!" You high fived Wiccan before jumping out of the plane.

"Tell me about it." He laughed.

Your phone buzzed the familiar number of your mother popping up.

"Heyo."

"Y/n... Where are you?" your cheery voice contrasted with the sadness of your mother's.

"Stark tower. Why? Is everything ok?" Your heart started to race.

"Can you come home, please. And ask for a ride, I don't want you alone." Your mother's tone didn't help the fear rise in you.

"Ok. But what happened Mom."

"Something's happened to Ben... And um... we can't find Peter." Her words were enough to send your mind into autopilot.

"On my way" You grabbed your bag and left, the tears in your eyes enough to make Happy drive you back with no questions asked.

You tried to dial Peter's number but you were face to face with his voicemail. Panic rose in you as you started out your window. The second you'd cross the bridge to Queens, you knew you had to find Peter.

"Happy stop here."

"But were miles away from-"

"Happy please." You cried out making Happy fall silent.

You placed your mask before jumping out of the car and swinging away, leaving your bag and phone with Happy.

You roamed the city for Parker, didn't even sense the gun watching you with every move.

After a good 30 minutes, you made a full stop at Peter's window, wishing with every bone in your body that he had come back.

The second you saw Peter the pressure immediately dropped.

You opened his window and hugged him for dear life, not baring to lose him.

"Don't do this to me ever again." You cried as you jumped in his arms. Peter's arms slowly came around your body.

"He's gone Y/n and it's all my fault." Peter cried into your shoulder some pressure finally releasing.

"Don't say that." You held on tighter to him.

"Yes! I should have stopped that guy when I had the chance!"

"Peter you didn't do anything. Please promise me you won't go after that man alone. And please wait for me to train you a little, bad things happens when you don't know how to use your powers. Peter with great power comes great responsibility." You pleaded.

"Where did you hear that." Peter looked at you his eyes getting glossy.

"Ben told me when he found out..."

"He knew about you!" Peter's eyes went wide.

"I wanted to tell you but he told me not to say anything. May didn't know either!"

"I-" Peter didn't say anything else and held you tight, sobs coming out of his mouth.

"Peter trust me this isn't your fault." You placed a hand through his hair trying to make him feel better.

"You don't get it Y/n. He-" Peter met your eyes, fear coming up to his brown ones. He suddenly pushed himself away from you realizing what he had to do to keep you safe.

"Peter?"

"We can't be friends anymore."

"What?" Your eyes widen.

"I said we can't be friends anymore. Forget I ever exist." He looked at you so deep in the eyes it almost scared you.

"Peter. What? What did I do?" Warm tears started falling down your eyes. "I've done nothing but to try and help you."

"Leave, please." Peter raised his hand towards the window, his voice cracking at the last word.

"Is it about Ben? You wished I was there to save him don't you?" That didn't even cross Peter's mind.

"No! It's not about Ben." Peter cried out his voice cracking even more. He loved you and didn't want to let you go but he didn't have a choice. He'd angered the man who killed Ben, and he was now looking for you. If Peter was far away from then they would probably leave you alone.

"Then what is it, Peter!" You slightly raised your voice regretting it in an instant. "I'm sorry." You wiped a few tears away from your eyes and left in a hurry, leaving both of you heartbroken.

You made a full stop in a small alley.

"Im so stupid!" You kicked a rock, guilt already building up in your stomach. You pealed your mask off and threw it on the floor already feeling sick.

"Don't say that sweetie." A deep voice rang from behind.

You turned around a fell face to face with a strong man.

Before you had time to react you were knocked down by a second guy who was right behind you. Your unconscious body fell right Into their bag.

Happy fumbled through the back seat to find your ringing phone.

"I knew she should have kept it" he grumbled before taking it and answering it.

"Hello Y/n where are you!?" A woman's voice came out of the machine.

"Mrs. L/n? This is Happy, Y/n left the car a while ago she forgot her phone. Is everything alright."

"Happy? Oh hi. Um yes... Actually no. Y/n hasn't come home yet how long ago did you drop her off?"

"I'd say about an hour ago." Happy sighed.

"Oh god." Happy could hear her tears through the phone. Like the shock of losing a dear friend wasn't enough, her own daughter hadn't come home.

"You want me to search for her?"

"No um, I'll make a few calls and I'll come back to you if I need anything. But thank you."

Happy sighed and placed the phone back in your bag.

When May received the call she first went to Peter. The situation already being very difficult, she feared Peter's reaction.

"Peter, have you seen Y/n today?"

"No" Peter's tone felt cold and monotonous much to May's dislike.

"Have you talked to her today?"

"No" he sniffed his tone still being hard to take in.

"Alright." May backed away.

A day hours later and still no sign of you. Tony Stark had gotten involved this time, and made a team up to try and find you.

So when Peter heard May on the phone with your mother, his heart raced and his palms felt sweaty.

His mind twisted before thinking the worst. He had succeeded. He had taken you, hostage. like he promised Peter he would.

When Ben died, he chased the culprit not thinking of the consequences. So when his phone ringed with a picture of you, the man promised he would hunt you down and hurt you.

"Shit." Peter punched his wall in anger, pain filling his body. He lost Ben, he couldn't lose you too.

Peter fumbled through his closet and grabbed a hoodie and the web-shooters you gave him before running out his window.

Peter roamed the streets of NY before finding a white wagon that looked just like the one he saw the night before.

Peter could hear the men's faint whispers. Their words sent Peter's blood to turn cold.

"You have the girl."

"Yeah, and the gun."

Peter gulped before getting himself ready to jump and punched the hell out of them.

He was about to shoot a web when an arm grabbed his shoulder.

"Whoever you are. Don.'t" A deep teenage voice made Peter turn around.

A handsome face greeted him. Peter felt jealousy and anger rise as he recognized Wiccan.

"You're Peter aren't you?" Wiccan's face lights up with a smile.

"Maybe," Peter grumbled not happy at all to see Wiccan knew who he was.

"Well, Peter. I must say you are quite Handsom Y/n is right." Wiccan laughed to himself, making Peter knit his eyebrows.

"Anyway, you can't take these guys by yourself you know? You just got these powers, you need to get use to them. I'll help you." He gave Peter a bright smile, making Peter want to throw up.

"Im ok, thanks." Peter bitterly replied and shot a web right at the guys.

"Great, he's stubborn too." Wiccan followed him towards the van.

The boys started fighting, Peter not knowing what to do half of the time.

Before he knew it Peter was sent flying and hit his head on the floor falling unconscious.

"C'mon!" Wiccan grumbled before punching a guy right in the face and running towards Peter.

He grabbed Peter and left for the Avenger compound.

Peter woke up with a blinding light. He rubbed his eyes a headache kicking in.

"Where am I?" Peter sat up and rubbed his eyes more.

"Stark tower." Wiccan's voice echoed through the room.

Peter's stomach did a twist. So much for trying to be better than him. He started to feel sick, he humiliated himself in front of your boyfriend.

"Agh" Peter rubbed his forehead trying to calm himself down.

"You took a big hit. I really hoped that pretty face of yours wasn't too damaged, Y/n would have killed me." He laughed to himself again while placing his headband back on.

Peter stayed focused on his aching head, ignoring Wiccan's comment. He was hating him more and more every one of his words felt like pure mockery.

"The rest of the Avengers are trying to find her. You can come with me when you feel better."

"Yeah, yeah" Peter grumbled hating the smile he was giving him.

"What?"

"Nothing" Peter definitely wasn't in the mood to talk.

"God, Y/n told me you were much much nicer than this." He laughed trying to ease the tension.

"Well, apparently I'm not." Peter snapped before realizing he shouldn't bring his pain on him. "I just made a stupid mistake, and now she's paying the price for it. We both are." Peter sat up.

"What do you mean?" Wiccan folded his arms getting more Interested in what Peter had to say, not even caring about Peter's mood swings.

"The guy who took her. He killed my uncle. I went after him that day and he caught me. He told me he would hurt her if I continued hunting him."

"And you did." Wiccan finished already knowing the story. "Let me guess, you pushed her away thinking she would be safe?" Wiccan chuckled. "Ah, stupid straight boys" Wiccan said mainly to himself before leaving the room.

Peter shot his head towards him and knitted his eyebrows once again not understating what he meant.

Meanwhile, you woke up, tied up on a chair in the back of a van.

"Morning sleepy head." A tall man jumped in the van and walked towards you a gun in hand.

"Your friends were here, the brown-haired one was there too." He smirked. "He's falling right into our trap. Bet they'll be back"

He caressed your cheek with his gun.

"Can't wait to torture you in front of him." He laughed and you just stayed quiet. "You know our boss is furious he came after us. We told him we'd hurt you if he continued, but I guess the little boy wanted revenge for his uncle, how cute." He pouted and made a baby voice.

Your eyes widen as you connected the dots. Peter pushed you a way to get revenge on Ben, it had to be the answer to his sudden mood change.

The front door opened and a new man entered putting himself behind the wheel.

"Brother?"

"Yeah?"

"Where too?"

"The base." The first man looked at you and played with his gun.

"Which base?" The one behind the wheel replied.

"The one in Tokyo." He sassed.

"Alright then, Tokyo it is!" The other one happily said before starting the car.

"No, you idiot! The one we just came back from!"

"Oh Yeah! Sorry, that makes more sense." The man stupidly laughed and turned the wheel.

You looked between the driver seat and the man holding the gun, confused by their stupidity and already thinking a way to use it as your advantage.

"What?" The first man spat when he saw you stare at him.

"Nothing, just-" you thought for a second. "I've been captured by your boss before, and um" you looked at the road. "this is not the way there." You shook your head.

"What?"

"No this is clearly going to bring us right in front of the Avenger tower." You nodded. It didn't take the men much to believe you.

"Did you hear that!?" The first man spat to his brother. "You're bringing us right Into these superheroes! That's why I'm mom's favorite!"

"Hey! That's not true!"

"Yeah, it is! She even said so!"

"Oh, and you know what she said to me?" The one behind the wheel angrily replied while slightly turning around to face his brother, losing eyes on the road and causing the van to turn.

"Boys! Eyes on the road!" You screamed, the chair you were tied to slid to the other side of the van and hit a wall making your side crash into it.

Cars were honking making the driver come back to his seat and grumbling words that you wouldn't be able to hear without your spider powers.

"Sorry." He grabbed your chair and placed you back.

"So tell us where to go." He looked at you hope in his eyes.

You eyed the road and thought for a second. You remembered your favorite barbie movie, where the mermaid prince was held, hostage. You clearly didn't know if it was going to work, but what did you have to lose.

"Left."

"Go left!" He screamed at his brother.

"GOING LEFT!"

A few seconds passed and he was back at an intersection.

"Now?"

You looked at the road again.

"Left"

"Go Left!" He repeated you like a parrot.

"GOING LEFT!"

The car turned, making your chair slightly move.

"Thank you, means a lot to us. You see it's our first week." The man kindly smiled, and a small amount of pity filled your stomach.

"Now?" The brother behind the wheel screamed.

"Now?"

"Left."

"LEFT!"

"GOING LEFT." You bit your lip to stop laughing way to happy this worked.

While you gained yourself some time the Avengers were roaming the streets for the white van Wiccan had talked about.

"Guys!" Bucky screamed to the group eyeing a white van who was turning around the same block.

Cap observed the van from the rooftop a few seconds while Sam scanned the registration slate.

"Matching" he nodded over the intercom.

"Why is it turning around?" Bucky asked laughing at the stupidity of the situation. "They're gonna get caught by the police." He laughed while joining the team.

You smiled when you heard the loud thump of captain American and saw falcon arriving straight at you.

The man didn't even have time to blame you that the car almost flipped around trying to escape them.

But lucky for you iron man came swooping in and shattered the door, grabbing you in the action.

Cap took care of the van while Tony dropped you a few blocks away.

You fixed your clothes once on the floor and was surprised when Tony hugged you.

"You scared us, kid." You thought he was about to cry and you were just happy you managed to pull that trick on them.

"Why were they going around in circles?" Bucky arrived and looked at you for answers.

"Oh, let's just say they were dumb enough to think I knew where their base was."

The whole team burst out laughing, and two boys arrived in front of you.

"Oh thank god they found you." Wiccan jumped into your arms making Peter look away and leaving him feeling more hurt than anything.

"Peter?" You titled your head seeing a sad Peter standing behind Wiccan.

"Hey" he waved his hand and gave you a sheepish smile.

"I'll let you two figure some things out." Wiccan laughed to ease the tension and left towards Tony.

"Hey."

"Hey." Peter swung his arms on each side of his body.

"im sorry." He sighed and looked at his feet. "It was wrong for me to push you away like that. I just-"

"You wanted to protect me." You sighed. "And look pushing me away isn't going to do anything. Sticking together will." You smiled and walked closer to him.

"Im sorry." Peter looked at you and you rested your hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok." You smiled.

"I'll go back home." He played with a rock on the floor. "I'll let you stay with your boyfriend." He nodded towards Wiccan who was talking to Tony.

"Boyfriend?" Your eyes went wide and you started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Peter asked more than confused.

"He's not my boyfriend." You tried to calm down your laughter. "He's gay!"

Peter's face fell which made you laugh even more.

"But- Why did you call him 'babe' and say 'I love you' over the phone?"

"Peter, I say babe to my girls all the time. And 'I love you' because he's my best friend!" You looked at him your tone getting a little more serious.

"Really?" Peter's face lights up like a Christmas tree.

"So he isn't your boyfriend?" He continued, loving the turn this conversation took.

"No!" You chuckled.

"Then no one is there to stop me from doing this." Peter took your hand before smashing his lips to yours, the kiss being like an explosion of fireworks.

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seoafin · 3 years

Note

jjk & tower of god chapter on the same day,,, i spent all of my brainjuice talking abt tog w some friends + working on my wip so this one might be incoherent LMAO but nsjdhfjd this my 2 cents for the chp (1) - 🐱

first of all, the zenins shld just eat shit 🥰 the bar is just nonexistant now 😭😭😭

also maki’s mother said sth that hits way too close to home for me too🥴

the maki & mai, megumi & tsumiki "make a place where they are happy” parallels...mai,, maki wanted a place where u'd be happy!!! 😭😭😭 good points abt any interesting nuances the original jpn might have had though

ALSO MUSCLE MAKI IS HERE

and lmao megumi's "ew no" face ,,, i didn't think he could make a face like that JDJJDJD ,, once again i think his outsider-insider status is interesting but the amount of ppl counting on him/leaning on him bc of strategic position is a lot. ig this is what kamo meant by supporting the 3 families,,,, gojou indeed is playing the long game. megumi in the meantime, very persistent in not getting more involved in clan politics, not using power that is offered to him, or leveraging it - in a way it is good, and it also makes sense with "stress is other ppl" but is interesting from a structural pov. megumi may not rly give a shit abt the rest of the jujutsu world. if the ppl close to him are affected, then he cares. otherwise, forget it.

also im interested in power implications here bcs it sound a little like there’s a slight split b/w leadership and everyday zenins and im curious what it's like if u have no connection to the top of the clan,, and again higher ups being unaffiliated with the 3 clans so they have to appeal to them. curious what other talents the gojou clan have and what they're known for bc clearly it's not just gojou, they still have power without him and still have a stake in the shifting power structure. kamo must be busy too...

MAKIIIIII ,,, honestly my heart hurts a little seeing her getting beat up in recent chapters. but i’m rly happy,, shes FINALLY getting the focus she deserves and i’m confident she will make a recovery and she IS in fact the one leading efforts on the zenin side. im rly hopeful she can take over the clan one day and no longer say she's not good enough

that stomach wound is bad news though so im wondering how she will come back from that,, that she didn't know her own father's abilities says a lot, too. i wonder if she could see the extension of his blade, or if she hasn't been able to see/understand many ppl abilities

im hopeful for next chp now. u can do it maki!!!!

flashing back on these bits, it makes more sense now why megumi wasn't melting down post-shibuya,, seems most information came to him in a sort of timely and calm way? also i rly have to wonder if gojou did not spend a decade plotting in front him bcs he's done it before,,,, like the whole clan head scene in megumi's middle school years....in a way i imagine he wouldve seen that gojou come out of the high school and watch him get more serious as he acquired even more skin in the game

all the time though i wonder abt megumi's tendency toward inertia and nonaction to things that would seemingly give him power and trying to understand it and that IS him being selfish and that IS,, imo the biggest indication of what he actually does or doesn't want. he wants it, he will act and work on it immediately himself. he doesn't like it? act like it doesn't exist. it make me want to shake him around like NO!! megumi pay attention!!! But his reaction to this clan stuff is a contrast to his behavior in recent chapters imo

and more mahjong references,,, between this and yuuji’s pachinko,, i wonder abt the undercurrent of gambling haha. a gamble for the shaman world and who will come out on top? a contrast to the flowy ocean imagery that connects shaman stuff out to the rest of the world

also this ,,,, there's that one jp tweet (i cant find it again😞) that talks about how toji, as the point of distortion, created megumi, who is currently playing a potential convergence/healing/uniting role (if he actually takes it on as a responsibility lol) and connects this back to the medicine buddha,,, whose mudra (hand sign) is used for chimera shadow garden. with the commentary abt ppl with heavenly restriction needing to know what to throw away in order to become strong or tap into their full strength and toji’s commentary at the end of fight with gojou,, i actually always felt that toji died not having been entirely resolved with himself bc he talks abt going against the self that decided to forget abt self-respect, to live without thinking abt himself or others,,, in a way, living selfishly, for himself, by ignoring anything immediate and i think he succeeded for a while bc he didnt even remember megumi's name. he remembers it when he talks to getou abt him being thankful for toji not killing him bc of potential drawbacks

and at the very end he thinks of megumi again and that last act does think of someone else, like a "life before your eyes" moment where toji thinks about how the zenin's treatment of him led him there or how his return to shibuya ends with him remembering how he gave megumi back to the zenin,,, i think atm of his death he was starting to think he did want to care, in a different way, or that he needed a different paradigm. or,, maybe he was just starting to realize how far the zenin thinking had set into him

so we dont rly talk abt that being an enlightenment moment for toji but i kind of think it was. that megumi has the potential to become a pivotal piece as a legacy of distortion is interesting. i dont actually think toji set up everything intentionally bc he didnt know megumi's ability, and i dont think he wouldve thought that far. i think a lot of the heir and inheritance stuff is sth naobito set in after seeing megumi's development under gojou. it's clear now everyone has been keeping eyes on everyone else

at some point there's some interesting discussion to be had abt megumi and privilege - i'm surprised the canon characters dont hate him more for having stuff just fall into his lap, and so i liked that maki pointed this out that he could use this and he shld bc theres a frustration there - and yet at the same time megumi himself seemingly feels very little attachment to the zenin and the shaman world still. he just cares abt his little circle of people, and it's a very intentional choice, based on his good/bad ppl thing

u cant really affect the entire world, but u can assert urself on the environment around u and decide what u do and dont act on. this part of megumi is more teenage boy and kind of toji-like, i think,,, hence the emphasis on action

u express ur effect and existence through action, who u kill or who u save. toji having very little, while so much falls into megumi's lap while he doesn't want it, doesn't want to acknowledge it, likely doesn't want to take part in a system he doesn't like or, having been raised under gojou's wing, resents or finds corrupt or useless, or doesn't even think on bc he thinks its above his pay grade and gojou's there - this is also megumi's moment to solidify his own direction and commit to working in the system or out of it

the "not caring" is a defensive measure in a way too, i think. i dont think megumi is Big Good and wants to save everyone and everything and the world to be good and pure, i tend to think of him as a resigned chaotic neutral, who wishes he could be good orz

ANYWAY i think there's some interesting juxtapositions with the whole toji > megumi thing, that someone who is born without, restricted, births and creates someone full of blessings. its very shaman-like, action then reaction

AND i wish u luck on ur final paper (bless ur eyes to see incels bc i’ll just log off for the day when i saw one (1) of them on the net) AND DONT FORGET TO TAKE A REST,, the self care is much needed me thinks <333 (2) - 🐱

i love u 🥺🥺😭😭😭 you take care of yourself too!!!

also ur right...all this political intrigue im so curious i need to know how the jujutsu world is structured in terms of the higher ups and the clans. like i assumed that the three clan elders WERE to some extent also part of the higher ups???? but now it seems that the higher ups are a separate entity altogether, so like checks and balances i suppose. except both the higher ups and the clans are corrupt so no balance there 😭

the chapter implied the zenins are losing when it comes to the power struggle between the three clans. im interested. i want to see them all rot!!! like i also said though it’s going to be interesting to see the state of the kamo clan though, considering “noritoshi kamo.” like what do you even say to that???? im going to be surprised if it doesn’t affect their standing in the jujutsu world but then again the kamo clan IS one of the big three.

megumi really is a character that was blessed in all regards but like. doesn’t want anything to do with it LOL he really said ‘this is a pain no thanks.’ like gojo like megumi i suppose. i agree with u the whole toji and megumi set up....genius....i also love their juxtaposition. it’s so interesting and another source of irony.

#MAKI THOUGH......MAKIIIIIII #that stomach wound was worrying tbh at first i was like??? what is that panel even. but now.......ughhhhhh #🐱 anon

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gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights · 4 years

Link

(Not a new fic, I just keep forgetting to officially post this one here)

Rating: T

Summary: Ladybug's suit doesn't have any arch support. Luckily, she has a supportive partner who can help.

Word Count: 2262

Notes: Breaking my usual silly reveal fic brand for some ladynoir fluff. Inspired by lnc2’s tumblr post: https://gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights.tumblr.com/post/190301790972/lnc2-lnc2-chat-noir-has-boots-but-what-about

Please ignore the fact that I may be misinterpreting Mister Bug and Lady Noire’s costume designs as well, it’s vaguely plot relevant lol

XXX

Long-distance akumas were the worst. She and Chat had swung, vaulted, and ran all the way across Paris to catch Cyclone, an akumatized cyclist upset he’d lost his place in the Tour de France. A very very fast cyclist, thanks to Hawkmoth’s assistance.

“I think we should switch kwamis again,” Marinette grumbled as she dropped down to sit on the roof, her legs dangling off the side like the deadweight they were.

“You know if you ever want to wear the clown costume all you have to do is ask.” Chat Noir smirked as he plopped down beside her, one foot resting over his knee. “I doubt I could’ve come up with what you did with the laundry detergent, though. I probably would’ve just asked for a jet pack. Or a motorcycle. Ooh, or maybe—”

“The Lucky Charm doesn’t work like that.”

“Maybe not for you. Maybe I just know what I want.” He leaned into her space, and it looked like he might have been wiggling his eyebrows, but it was hard to tell under his mask.

Marinette bit back a laugh and pushed him back by the nose. “Nice try. I know exactly what I want in that regard, kitty.”

That statement was… not quite as true as it used to be. She knew she was after blond hair and soft green eyes, after someone who was kind and sweet and selfless. But before she’d realized it, the model smiles and loose t-shirts in her dreams were joined by teasing smirks and tight leather.

...But it was just because she spent so much time with Chat, that’s all. For all the distance she’d tried to keep, it was hard to resist getting closer to him. He was her best friend.

“The akuma right has nothing to do with it though,” she went on before she could fall down that rabbit hole again. “Well I guess it does a little. Sort of. I mean—I want your boots.”

Chat blinked. “I don’t think they’d fit you, Bug.”

“I mean,” she huffed, gesturing to her own suited feet, “I have no arch support whatsoever. The miraculous cure might fix the akuma’s damage, but I’m still left with two slabs of pain hanging at the end of my legs.”

They had (separately) dropped their transformations to feed their kwamis before suiting up again, but that hadn’t eased her aching feet either. She was still really, really not looking forward to making it all the way back home.

“Let me get this straight,” Chat said with a stifled snicker, “you want to borrow Plagg so your transformation will give you real shoes.”

“Hey, I’d like to see you run around my suit and not complain. And your Mister Bug transformation doesn’t count. Tikki gave you boots.” She crossed her arms.

He leaned back on his palms and smirked. “Careful, Bugaboo. I’m flattered you’re jealous of me, but green really isn’t your color.”

She shoved his arm, sending him flopping back on the roof with a laugh.

“I regret asking. You keep the clown costume.”

He tucked his hands behind his head before flashing a wink. “You just know you’d miss seeing me in black leather.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?” She rolled her eyes, which kept her gaze from where Chat was stretched out, practically begging to be stared at. She’d hate for her expression to prove him right.

“Im-paw-ssible, you mean.” He gave a lopsided grin. Yep, she could just focus on that, and not the way he was lounging like he was attempting to recreate one of Adrien’s model poses… and succeeding…

(Even best friends weren’t supposed to stare at each other like that, were they?)

His voice snapped her out of ogling him. “If your feet really hurt, though, there’s always something else you could ask.”

“I already tried.” She sighed. If nothing else, the pain in her feet was also a good distraction from her unfairly attractive partner. “Tikki can’t change the suit at this point. Not unless I can drastically change how I see myself, but I can’t perform the mental gymnastics to pull that off.”

“I wasn’t talking about Tikki.” He sat up abruptly and held out his hand. “You know I’ll support you, even if your footwear won’t.”

Her nose scrunched. “Sorry, Chat, but I don’t think moral support is going to heal my feet.”

“I didn’t mean moral support. Foot massage, no strings attached. For my partner who carries the whole world on her shoulders without even an insole.”

He beamed at her, as if rubbing her stinky, sweaty feet would be a favor to him.

She shook her head. “You really don’t have to, Chat. My feet are disgusting.” Especially after dashing across Paris all afternoon. Her soles had to be caked in grit from every street in the city.

“You could never disgust me, my Lady.” He grinned dopily. It should be illegal for him to show that kind of adoration with just a smile. It was getting harder and harder to remember why she kept rejecting her partner.

Because you’re still in love with Adrien. Because she couldn’t give Chat the kind of unwavering devotion he already showed her. And because he didn’t deserve anything less.

...But he did offer the foot rubs with no strings attached. With the way her feet were throbbing, to turn him down would be nothing but an act of pride.

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She kicked her feet up into his lap. The suit protected her from the rough concrete and debris her feet were constantly exposed to, but the magical fabric barely dulled the soft touch of her partner’s hands. All things considered, they’d shared weirder touches—they’d been tied up and tangled together more times than she could count at this point—but something about his soothing ministrations felt more intimate than she expected. Maybe she’d just expected him to play a prank and tickle her, but this…

“If I would’ve known you’d do this, I would have asked you ages ago.” Her voice was a little breathless as she laid back perpendicular to him. His thumbs continued to massage heavenly patterns into the arch of her foot.

“So you’ll admit my hands are good for something besides using Cataclysm?” His voice was teasing, but she didn’t care. Her foot had never felt this good. How much pain had built up there over the weeks and months of akuma fights?

More importantly, how could she convince Chat to make this a regular thing?

“Yes,” she breathed. “Where did you learn how to do this? You have a side job as a masseuse?”

He chuckled but kept up the motion of his magical hands. “Old friend, actually. She always found ways to make me give her foot rubs when we were younger.”

“Lucky girl,” Marinette murmured, her eyes slipping closed. He moved his attention to her other foot, working his way up from her heel towards her toes. If this was how good Chat was with her feet…

Nope, nope, she was not letting that train of thought out of the station.

“Don’t worry, LB, your feet are much cuter than hers.”

“Please tell me you don’t have a weird thing for feet,” she blurted, apparently having lost her filter to his hands.

He just laughed, though. “Only yours,” he said, and then she felt something soft press to the top of her big toe.

“Chat!” She sprung upright to see him winking again before pulling his lips back from her foot. “Gross! You don’t know where that’s been!”

That only made him laugh harder—so hard he was actually gasping for breath. “Your face!”

She snapped her jaw shut, only then realizing how dumbly she’d been gaping. “You kissed my foot! What did you expect me to do?”

“I kiss your hand all the time.” He shrugged, his grin turning sly. “So unless you have a thing for feet…”

“Oh my gosh, Chat, shut up.” She covered her blushing cheeks, mostly just disappointed that there was no way she could both keep her dignity and ask him for another foot massage.

“I wouldn’t tell. I’d give you alllll the foot rubs you want.”

“Tempting,” she muttered.

“Hmm? What was that?”

She glared out from between her fingers, but couldn’t tell from his teasing grin if he’d actually heard her or not.

“I was just wondering,” she said, beginning to spin a plan in her mind. “Foot massages aren’t that hard, really. Of course you’d be good at them.”

His grin fell to a pout. “What are you getting at?”

“I mean, a real challenge would be giving a good neck and shoulder massage. It takes a strong enough touch to ohhhhhhhh…”

She was gone. He’d moved to kneel behind her, his fingers angled to keep his claws from pricking her as he dug into the knots that had been afflicting her for ages. Anxiety and tension unraveled under the circular motions of his thumbs.

“What was that, Bugaboo?” He whispered near her ear, sending shivers down her spine—shivers that he could probably feel, considering his hands had moved closer together to massage between her shoulderblades.

“You’re… terrible.”

“Mm-hm. I guess I should just stop, then—”

“Don’t you dare.”

Gone, gone, gone. And from her quick response, he had to know it too.

His hands paused for half a second before starting again.

“As my Lady wishes,” he purred.

He didn’t hold back. His fingers dug deep into muscles tight from use, pressing hard enough to make her wince at times. But it still felt like heaven. Why was she not dating this boy, again?

Bad Marinette, she told herself. You can’t date your partner just to take advantage of his back rubs. Or the fact that he’s hot. Or the fact that he would literally die for you, and has proved so on several occasions.

Or the fact that he’s madly in love with you. Can’t forget that.

Those reasons were not listed in order of importance, but they were rather compelling. Particularly with his touch melting away her more rational objections.

She wasn’t sure how long it was (not long enough) when his hands finally stilled, resting with his thumbs gently brushing the curve of her shoulderblades.

“What do you say? Did I pass the test?” He asked, sounding a little self-conscious now.

Test of what? Seeing if he could turn her into a puddle? The answer to that was a definite yes, but she’d prefer to keep that information confidential for at least a little longer.

“Y-yeah. Thanks, kitty.”

Her skin missed his warmth as he drew back.

“Anytime, Bugaboo.”

It sounded like he really was willing to let that be the end of that. No strings attached. But—

“I still owe you,” she said, tucking her legs under her and turning to face him.

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” he replied with a chuckle. “You never do like to accept help, even from me. Or maybe it’s especially from me…”

“That’s not it.” She shook her head, scooting closer. Was that really what he thought? “We’re partners, Chat. I just don’t want to take more than I give.”

“You give me plenty, Ladybug.” His voice turned serious as his hand inched towards hers, before coming to rest on the concrete roof just a centimeter away. “Just getting to spend time with you outside of fighting akumas is a treasure. I wouldn’t ask for anything more than that.”

Despite his usual outrageous flirting, she knew that was true. If she ever wanted him to stop, he would.

But she’d never wanted him to. Maybe because she knew deep down, she’d been falling for him all along.

“Hmmmm.” She looked away, out towards the sunset horizon. “That’s too bad.”

“Huh?”

A grin tugged at her lips. “I hear your Lucky Charm gives you exactly what you ask for.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched his expression turn from confusion, to shock, to hope.

“And you… know what I’d ask for, right?”

Her shrug screamed nonchalance. She could only hope it would cover up the pounding of her heart.

“I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

Maybe she couldn’t give Chat her whole heart yet. And maybe part of her was being selfish, worn down by his teasing smiles and melting hands. But… she had a feeling that if she let down this last barrier, it wouldn’t be long before she was giving him the same smitten look he directed at her now.

“Will you go out with me, my Lady?” His hands were clasped beneath his chin, his tone practically begging. It almost made her regret what she was about to say. But she couldn’t let him off that easy.

“That depends.”

Her quick reply startled him—but not as much as the soft, slow kiss she pressed to his cheek.

She decided that she absolutely adored the stunned look on his face, the pink blooming beneath his mask, his golden eyelashes fluttering. He was still gaping when she tossed one last wink over her shoulder.

“Can you catch me now that my feet are feline good again?”

And he was still gaping when she tossed her yo-yo out to the next roof.

“Ladybug, wait—!”

She was done waiting. Maybe he had a point about the Lucky Charm—he’d always known what he wanted. She’d always gotten what she needed.

Finally, it seemed those two things were one and the same.

#fic tag #tali writes #ladynoir #love square #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #ladybug #still really happy with this one

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donnieluvsthings · 4 years

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gonna rant about sanders sides plot bc i think about it all the time and need an outlet okay here we go. this got super long so most of it is under the cut.

fyi: i talk a lot about patton and virgil and how theyre doing. i dont think i paint either of them negatively and if i did its not on purpose bc i love them both but just be aware!! also this is just my interpretations/predictions and i wanted to share but its not The Only Acceptable Interpretation and if u disagree then obviously thats fine lol

so i keep thinking about the conflict between virgil and patton. clearly something is weird. i think it probably started when virgil asked patton to stop treating him like “some innocent harmless angel” at the end of LNTAO.

i actually think this was a good interaction—virgil was trying not to hurt patton’s feelings but also was expressing something he was uncomfortable with and he succeeded in my opinion. and patton doesn’t argue, just immediately goes “okay, virgil!” like he says his name, no nickname, no kiddo. he starts trying instantly to check himself and respect virgil’s wishes.

then in embarrassing phases their interactions seem a little more...tense? i’ll list the ones that stick out bc lists are Fun:

patton fakes being scared. virgil: “don’t patronize me” patton: “you mean pantronize” virgil: “whatever!!”

patton corrects himself from saying “bat winged cherub” to “bad....boy” while virgil shoots him a look like we just talked about this

virgil’s talking about how his style is a relic from thomas’ emo phase. patton: “we’re basically style twins!! look out just a couple of cool guys comin thru!” virgil: “okay, patton” patton: “um! sorry...”

virgil seems aggravated, probably bc patton is still treating him like a poor lil anxious baby when the whole point of this episode was virgil showing that they can’t just ignore his role as anxiety. they may be friends now but virgil’s past attitude is still part of him. one could say he doesnt want them to ignore the “dark side” of his presence. wink wink. this could be him maybe building up to revealing that he used to be a dark side, subtly preparing thomas for it.

then SvS. patton and virgil don’t interact directly except at the start and during the trial, but it doesn’t seem as strained. this is probably because theyre both on the same side when it comes to deceit—and i think thats important. in svs, both patton and virgil are anti-deceit, and like patton pointed out in LNTAO, “anxiety and morality are telling you the same thing,” which seems to signal to thomas that he should listen.

also in SvS, janus alludes to the fact that virgil was a dark side and is hiding it:

“so you’ve never been reluctant to share anything with the group?”

“dont.”

“what, i just meant your name!”

“dont.”

“maybe that’s why its so easy for you to see me for what i am! like i said before, it takes a liar to know a liar.”

i’m 90% sure he didn’t just mean virgil’s name. virgil is clearly distraught about where this conversation is headed and that just doesn’t line up with him being hesitant to share his name. his fears over his dark persona and reluctance to share his name have been addressed multiple times, so what does he have to be scared of? unless janus is talking about virgil being a dark side.

moving on! in DWIT, again, theyre both kinda anti-remus. theyre both afraid of him, and as logan points out, theyre both part of why remus is so powerful as intrusive thoughts. they dont argue much; virgil spends most of this ep arguing with logan, actually, which is interesting bc he and logan seem to have one of the closest friendships in the show.

in this episode, there’s a few final pushed that i think lead virgil to confess he was a dark side.

first remus reveals his own name and says “i would never hide anything from you!” and sends virgil a little glance. virgil looks uncomfortable. then, around the 31 minute mark, logan says “you can always talk to someone...subjects who talked about their thoughts often felt better emotionally and physically.” and you can see virgil looking around like he’s realizing something.

and then he reveals himself at the end of this episode. just to thomas, but i’m assuming all the other sides would know as soon as thomas himself does, right? if they didn’t know already. what sticks out to me is that he specifically waits until the others leave. he doesn’t want to say it directly to them. and as for how this connects to the patton-virgil stuff...patton might think virgil doesn’t trust him/doesn’t want to open up to him. and/or virgil actually doesn’t want to open up to patton as much anymore.

then in healthy distractions, we clearly see that something is up between virgil and patton.

patton: “how could he feel b-a-d with his inner d-a-d?” virgil: “i can think of a few ways”

patton: “thomas made his decision and i think we should all just try to settle into it” virgil: “how are you telling me to settle into something right now when you have taken your sweet time to settle into things that you were uncomfortable with in the past”

so honestly i don’t really know what virgil’s talking about?? does he mean the events of moving on and the whole breakup situation?? or maybe he’s calling patton out for taking so long to drop the “angel baby” nicknames/treatment. or its implying that patton didnt know virgil was a dark side and is still coming to terms with it/coming to terms with the fact that virgil didn’t want to tell him & the other sides directly.

or he’s referencing something we don’t know of. either way, their relationship is obviously strained rn and it isn’t entirely clear what the turning point was between DWIT and ATHD.

then we come to the new episode. virgil doesn’t appear in POF at all, not even a cameo. i think thats the first time this has happened since accepting anxiety part 1. the only reference to him is the purple time-clock during the mario sequence and other smaller inclusions in the other video game parts. and then what happens in this episode?

patton realizes selfishness can be good sometimes. he accepts that the world, and thomas’ view of it, are not as black-and-white as he wanted to believe in svs. it wasnt a matter of “callback = bad vs wedding = good” bc thats not how the world works. beyond that, he accepts janus.

and i’m gonna bring up the idea that virgil is super mean and gets away with it. its true that the other sides, especially patton, are hesitant to correct him or reprimand him, which i think is bc theyre afraid of making him think they hate him. this idea could even be in the forefront of their minds if they really are that impacted by virgil not telling them he’s a dark side.

the thing is...virgil IS mean sometimes and he DOES get away with it. often, its just directed at janus or remus, and the other sides don’t WANT to disagree. when its directed at the other sides, i’m not sure its taken entirely to heart, regardless of whether it should be or not.

and we all know how virgil feels about janus. suspicion, anger, and aggression are all things virgil expresses towards janus from the moment he appeared as patton in CLBG.

so this all has been building up to me saying that the virgil-patton conflict has now become a virgil-patton-janus conflict. virgil and janus’ past is going to clash with patton and janus’ new alliance, which will strain the already tense relationship between virgil and patton. even worse, now roman is firmly in the anti-janus field, which will likely feed virgil’s anger, especially if he also blames patton for hurting roman.

and if we DO go to roman’s room next, and janus shows up, and the situation worsens...we might have a full blown “patton & janus vs virgil & roman” level argument on our hands.

i think virgil’s gonna be aggressive towards janus, as he has been, but when thomas and patton don’t dismiss him—when they call him by his NAME, not just “deceit”—we’re gonna get a rehash of “are you seriously siding with deceit?” except this time roman won’t be the one saying “are you seriously so closed minded to think that everything said by someone you dont like is automatically untrue?”

the other sides—or patton and thomas at the very least—are going to see that virgil’s blatant dislike of janus is not entirely warranted. and keep in mind that we still don’t know what happened between virgil and janus to make virgil hate him, so maybe it IS warranted. but its clear now that janus is trying to help (assuming he’s not lying which i rly hope he’s not lol) and i dont think its fair to thomas for virgil to want to disregard everything janus says. thomas and patton will realize this and they’ll have to confront virgil about his treatment of janus. we just haven’t gotten there yet.

its gonna be wild, honestly. i want janus to be fully accepted but it might be a while until we get there, just like patton took a while to understand the whole “grayscale morality” idea, and how its probably gonna take a while for virgil (and janus, tbh) to move on from whatever happened between them in the past.

i also believe this is headed towards a sympathetic everyone ending where theyre all important to thomas, acknowledged by him as important, and all actively working together, no dark sides or light sides, just sides. so yeah

basically, the next few episodes will probably be an explosion of all these char tensions and its probably gonna get worse before it gets better, and thats not even considering logan angst, creativitwins angst, or the orange side. but i think (and hope) it’ll all be fine and im hyped to see where this series goes :p

#if u actually read all this props to u #sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #thomas sanders #ts patton #ts virgil #ts janus #donnieluvsrambling #long post

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

AM Conversations : chapter 46

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.4k // 4.7k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: sex was vanilla but i liked it idk lol! i know the Horan & Rose event was in may i just changed it a bit for the story and pushed it to july. this goes downhill from here, sorry :X

PLEASE, i would love to know what you think about Louis and Olivia’s relationship/friendship or what you want to happen or expect to happen to them. he’ll be a LOT more present in the next few chapters so i really need to know.

requests for this chapter! (i suggest you dont read them if you dont want spoilers for this chapter)

Chapter 46 : His chapter

NIALL

After the evening at karaoke, we jumped in my car and drove away. I kept glancing at her, enjoying the large smile on her face and somehow, it made me happy just to see her happy. I watched her hair dance around her face from the wind coming from her window and she moved her purple and pink heart-shaped sunglasses down on her nose, making me smile more.

"No one wear those unironically, by the way." I pointed out just to tease her.

"I do!"

"And it's dark outside." I added, raising my eyebrows.

"I wear them for the style."

She turned to me and sent me a huge smile, making me chuckle and shake my head. I had a hard time to admit it to myself but i was happy with her and I wanted to spend every single minute of my free time with her. The fact that it was mostly what I used to do before we started dating hit me and It made me think of what Louis had said when we met at the bar right after Liv told me how she felt. The only things that really changed was holding hands and having sex... and everything else.

"So where are you taking me?" she asked, moving the window up as we got on the highway.

"You'll see."

"More or less romantic than the gift you gave me this morning?"

I laughed again and licked my lips, glancing at her.

"Cheesier than romantic." I let out after a while.

"Am I gonna like it?"

"Definitely."

The rest of the ride was short enough and when I parked, she started laughing before turning to me again. I loved the way her eyes shined and realizing that I wanted to spend the night cuddling her more than spending it shagging it proved me that I was in it very very deep. I held my breath at the thought and swallowed. She didn't notice and just chuckled before getting out of the car to reach the door. I blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the scary thoughts running in my head, and finally followed her, my eyes roaming on the lodge Harry had rented a few months ago. She stopped in front of the door and stared at me as I unlocked the door and finally pushed on it. Instead to walk in, she waited until I turned to look at her and sent me a fond smile.

"Why did you bring me here, Niall?" she asked in a low tone, tilting her head slightly on the side.

"I know we had fun here, thought it'd be cool to rent it again, spend a few days, just you and I this time." I shrugged as I watched her raise her eyebrows.

I sighed and raised my nose up before shaking my head.

"I just thought we had a few weird memories together here and maybe I want to change them. Maybe I want to make love to you in every damn room and watch the fucking stars all night laying outside in the backyard. With food and wine and a stupid fire." I stared at her a few seconds and sighed again. "I love you, I just want to make you happy."

Her lips curled more and she moved closer to me quickly, getting on her tiptoes and cupping my face. I closed my eyes when her lips pressed against mine and felt one of her hands slip in my hair. I remained motionless until she got back down on her feet but she didn't say a word. She walked inside and I just followed her, closing the door behind us.

I watched her as she took her sunglasses off and put them on the kitchen's table as a bunch of memories rushed to my brain. It was only a few months ago but it felt like it's been forever and watching her in this kitchen again made something in my stomach twist. I got out of my thoughts when I realized she had taken her shirt off and was doing the same thing with her pants but I decided not to move to just enjoy the view.

"The first thing we did when we got here was to jump in the pool in our underwear." she pointed out, taking a step my way and leaving her clothes on the floor. "I had kept my shirt but not today. You were only in your boxers though."

"Oh you remember that?"

"Clearly and vividly." she added, making me smirk. "I remember masturbating to that sight."

The memory of catching her masturbating came to my mind and I felt my whole body throb. I tried to push it away but the next memory that came to my mind was when I woke up in the middle of the night and saw Harry and her completely naked and wet on the side of that same pool and it made me hold my breath. I didn't want to tell her I saw them simply because I didn't want to talk about the relationship she had with him. All I wanted was to spend time with her. Maybe I shouldn't have brought her here, maybe it was a bad idea and maybe i'd spend my time remembering her with Harry but I would try not to.

It was not like me to think about that kind of things or be jealous about ex lovers but when it came to Olivia, I barely recognized myself and it wasn't new. All the weird reactions I had had here when we spent the weekend with our friends were the proofs that even before we started dating, I had reactions that really didn't fit with my personality.

"Come on." she added with a head movement. "Let's go."

I noticed she had placed her arms around herself, hiding her stomach and I wanted to tell her not to do that but she left too quickly and I watched her get in the pool slowly before taking my shirt and pants off too and leaving my shoes and socks by the door.

Instead to walk down the stairs to join her, I decided to just throw myself in the water. When I came out, I smiled at her as she pushed her wet hair away from her face.

"You think you're funny mm?" she asked as I tried to move closer to her.

"I'm hilarious." I let out, making her chuckle.

"Admit it." she started as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer. "The cheesy thing you had planned was to watch the stars."

"Oh congrats, such a clever girl, pretty sure I mentioned that only a few minutes ago." I joked, rolling my eyes with a smile.

"The lodge was just an excuse. You could as well have brought me camping."

This time I grimaced and her laughter came to my ears in a sweet melody. I didn't want to stress about the future, I was a man of the moment and that's all I wanted to focus on. I knew these doubts and questions would come back eventually, they always seem to, but not today.

"I almost did, I admit." I finally said. "Because i do want to watch the stars with you until morning. But i'm not against a good and warm shower tomorrow."

She laughed and my amused smile turned into a fond one and she smiled back before to move her chin up. The sky was dark and when I glanced up too, I noticed the incredible amount of stars shining from the sky. Her lips curled more and I licked my lips as she was staring up.

"I just want you to have a perfect birthday."

It took her a few seconds but slowly, she looked back down and her eyes found mine.

"It is, Niall." she whispered, bringing both her hands on my cheeks. "It's perfect."

---

I knew that only using a blanket wouldn't be comfortable so I brought a small mattress and a few cushions outside, near the campfire. It took me a bit too long to actually start a fire but when I finally succeeded, I sat with my knees up and my legs spread and it only took a second for her to move between them. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned her head back on my shoulder, her gaze once again turned up to the sky. Her hair was still damp and a shiver crossed her body as she shook against mine. It only made me hold her tighter and she sighed again, a cute smile gracing her face.

"I just want this forever." she let out in a low tone as I felt her hand on one of my thighs. "You and me together and nothing else."

I remained silent but held my breath without really realizing it. I could feel the warmth of her body on mine, I could feel her hair tickling gently my neck, I could smell her shampoo, the mix of honey and vanilla invading me... and I wanted to tell her that it's what I had planned, too. I wanted to tell her that spending my life with her was not scaring me, that it was exciting me, making me impatient and overjoyed... but I remained silent. I didn't know how it make me feel other than fear and some bad stomach twisting.

"Do you remember how we always used to get on top of my roof and watch the stars?" she finally wondered in a sweet tone.

I felt her hand squeeze my arm gently and I smiled at the memories.

"I do."

"And sometimes you'd bring your guitar and play for me." she added quickly.

"I brought it." I let out, staring at the flames of the fire near us. "And there's a song I want to sing to you."

She moved in my arms and turned slightly to look at me better. After a while, I gave in and looked at her, my eyes roaming on her face. I hadn't really planned to play her my new song, I thought i'd wait until it was finished, but at that exact moment, I really wanted her to hear it. I wanted to bring her into the process of my writing and my music and I was not sure why.

"Go get your guitar!" she urged me with a smile, her eyebrows raised.

I chuckled and quickly got up, running to the car to get it and grabbed the sweater I left on the backseat at the same time. When I came back, she was laying down, her arms under her head staring up at the stars. I stayed motionless a few seconds just looking at her and when she noticed me, her lips curled more and she sat up, turning my way. I handed her my sweater as I sat in front of her and she thanked me before putting it on. I had this fascination with her wearing my clothes and I bit my bottom lip for a few seconds before clearing my throat and letting my fingers run on the strings.

"Okay tell me everything." she asked, moving her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees. "What's the song about? Are you thinking about a solo career?"

"Maybe." I asked, raising my eyebrows, a bit unsure of her reaction. "What would you say?"

"I'd say you're the most talented person I've ever met and that you should totally go for it."

I chuckled, raising my nose up. "You're a bit biased."

"I'm not." she shrugged, leaning her chin on one of her knees. "I can recognize talent when I see it. You just also happen to be my best friend and the love of my life."

She shrugged again and I smiled more before nodding.

"The song is about you, but also not really." I tried to explain as she frowned. "It's a concept song, but I also wrote it thinking about you and how... i'd feel without you."

She stared at me a few minutes and tilted her head, squinting a bit before licking her lips. I knew she was curious and I knew my words didn't really make sense but after a while, she pressed her lips together and nodded.

"You know, you don't have to write about me." she pointed out in a low tine. "I don't want you to feel like you have to write songs about me if you don't feel like it."

I felt my heart melt a bit at her words and bent closer to her, raising my eyebrows.

"I want to." I let out just as low. "I have to. I can't help it."

She ended up nodding again after a while and I tried to focus on my fingers as I started singing.

"Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air It's hard

Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running 'round It's funny how things never change in this old town So far From the stars

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you Mmmmm

I saw that you moved on with someone new In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you It's so hard So hard

And I want to tell you everything The words I never got to say the first time around And I remember everything From when we were the children playing in this fairground Wish I was there with you now

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room Them butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

And I know that it's wrong That I can't move on But there's something 'bout you

'Cause if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you Drive highways and byways to be there with you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you

You still make me nervous when you walk in the room Them butterflies—they come alive when I'm next to you Over and over the only truth Everything comes back to you Mmmm Everything comes back to you Mmmm"

When I ended the song, all I could hear was the thumping of my heart against my chest. I looked at her and she looked back at me in a way I couldn't decipher. I hadn't realized before this exact moment how desperate I was for her approval and how much her opinion meant to me. She let go of her knees and crossed her legs. Her hands were hidden in the sleeves of my sweater that she was wearing and she glanced down before quickly looking up in my eyes, licking her lips.

"Which parts are about me?"

I hadn't expected this question and instead to enumerate all the parts of the song that I wrote thinking about her, I let out the only thing that felt completely true to me.

"'Everything comes back to you,'"

Her traits softened and she sent me a small smile, blinking a few times.

"I'll never leave you, I hope you know that. I'll never find someone new. It was always you, Niall, and it will always be you."

-----

Most of july had been quite warm and now that it was almost over, I tried to enjoy it as much as I could. I was about to get into recording a few songs, working on an album and promoting it. Still, I had wanted to work on the Horan and Rose event even if I knew I was about to be very busy. For the very first time, I had brought Olivia as my official date, which was not something very usual for me or for her, but I had insisted a bit and she had given in.

It was late when we got back and maybe we had drank a bit more than intended but still not enough to be drunk, just to be slightly tipsy. She laughed at all my jokes and for some reason, it made me feel good.

"Although very beautiful, that dress is fuckin' uncomfortable." she admitted as we stepped foot inside. "And the shoes are even worse."

It had taken her an eternity to pick a dress even if I thought she looked amazing in every single one she tried on.

"You're such a softie." I joked with a laugh.

"A girl has the right to enjoy her sweatpants, can't she?"

"Such a hypocrite!" I laughed again. "You love when I wear a suit!"

She smirked and turned to me, taking a few steps my way as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

"I do. And when you wear sweatpants too. Oh, and golf pants, they help showing how incredible your ass is."

I laughed again and bent down to press my lips against hers.

"I'll remember that." I winked, making her chuckle.

"As if you didn't already know that!"

I watched her get upstairs and quickly followed her. My hands found her waist as soon as I reached her and I bent down slightly to kiss her neck. I would rarely see her with her hair up but she looked pretty and I smiled when a few tiny hairs coming out of her ponytail tickled my nose.

"Niall James Horan, are you trying to get in my pants?"

I laughed and shook my head, making her tilt hers on the side. I let my lips run on her skin again and I could swear I heard her whimper.

"More like under your dress."

She laughed lightly and turned around in my arms. Seeing her smile made mine grow and I moved forward, obliging her to take a few steps back as my hands reached for the zipper of her dress. I slowly moved it down and she smiled more.

"Are you gonna keep your suit on?" she asked, her cute smile turning into a smirk.

"Not all night, no." I smiled too.

"No I meant, are you gonna keep your suit on while I ride you?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I knew she could see all the lust I felt in the way I was looking at her. She took a step back and I kept silent as she pulled on her dress. She stood in front of me in her underwear and even if I knew she felt self-conscious, I couldn't help but let my eyes travel on her body slowly, catching every curve. I ended up smiling more and decided to sit on my bench, smirking when I remembered there was a mirror right on front of it.

She licked her lips again and reached for the tie in her hair, sliding it down her ponytail gently. Her hair fell in a cascade over her shoulders and the pink on her cheeks made me want to be rough with her.

"Come here." I let out. "And get on your knees, petal."

Slowly, she did what I asked and when I felt her hand wrap around my cock, I breathed through my teeth. I looked at her back in the mirror and reached around her to unclasp her bra. Her mouth on my growing cock felt incredible and her pace didn't falter at all when I gripped her hair to help her head move up and down. The way her tongue and lips moved on me made me want to thrust deeper in her mouth until I came and I felt one of my legs shake at how close I already was.

"Get up and straddle me."

I let go on the air I was holding when she stopped touching me and I watched her get up and take her panties off. She was naked and I was still completely dressed, making her look suddenly more vulnerable than I thought was possible. Slowly, she put her knees on each side of me and sat on my lap. Her lips reached mine and I quickly deepened the kiss to taste her.

"Get up on your knees, pet." I whispered. "I want to touch you."

Keeping her lips against mine, she did what I asked and I quickly slipped one of my hands between her legs. She twitched when it rubbed gently on her clit and I smiled more. I slid two fingers inside her, making her moan in my mouth, but remained motionless for a few seconds.

"Fuck yourself on my fingers. Do it like it's my cock."

She didn't make me tell her twice and started bouncing on my fingers, coating them quickly and making me groan low. Her moans were getting louder and she shook her head to push her hair behind her shoulders. Watching her all fucked like that made me even harder and without thinking, I took my fingers away and grabbed her waist, pushing her down on me. Her skin was burning on my palms and I pressed my fingers more against her skin, hoping it would leave an imprint on her.

"Jesus christ." I let out when I was completely inside her, "Fuck me petal, do it."

She quivered lightly but just started moving over me again as I let go of her to give her full control. I felt my cock slip in and out of her fast and hard and every single time I was balls deep inside her, I could feel her clench around me. I tried to keep my hands to myself, just watching her breasts move right in front of my face but after a while, I couldn't resist.

"You feel so fucking good." I let out with a short moan, bringing my hand to her chest. "I love when you do exactly what I ask you."

Swiftly, I slapped one of her breasts, making her moan and shake over me.

"Don't stop," I ordered, spanking her hard before slapping her breast again. "Keep riding me."

Seeing her ride me was incredible but the pleasure was multiplied whenever I would glance at the mirror, watching her also from behind, her body bouncing and shaking at the same time. I moved closer and ran my lips on her shoulder as she kept fucking herself on me. I sucked a few spots as I ran my hands on her waist and breasts and when I felt her fingers slip in my hair to grip it tight, I let out a moan.

"Niall, I'm gonna cum." her voice came to me in a mix of a whisper and a whimper and when her body started jerking over mine, I felt her clench hard around me, making me reach my orgasm too.

I grabbed her waist and pushed her hard against me as I moved my hips up to feel myself as deep as possible inside her. I let out a few curse words and when my name escaped her lips again in a moan, I felt myself get dizzy from the feeling. We were both a panting mess and she brought her parted lips to mine. We kissed very slowly as I let my fingertips run on her burning skin until we both came down from out high.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight." she said shyly after pulling away, nibbling on her bottom lip. "I know you had to insist a lot, but i'm glad you did."

"T'was my pleasure."

She sent me a fond smile and finally got off of me before staring at me and tilting her head. I tucked my cock back in my boxers and ran my fingers through my now messy hair.

"How hot was it to be dressed while I was completely naked?" she asked, making me laugh.

"The truth? Very hot." She grimaced and I laughed more. "Come on, go get those damn sweatpants."

She laughed as she left the room and I decided to go back downstairs to grab water bottles for both of us. I saw the tags of her dress we had left on the counter since we were in a hurry and threw them in the bin but what I saw made me stop all movements. I bent down to grab the box laying there and I could swear my heart stopped beating. It was impossible, we had been cautious, right? She was on the contraceptive pills, wasn't she? Then why did she felt the need to get a pregnancy test without even telling me. In an impulse, I searched through the bin to find the white stick that would tell me the result and when I realized my search was useless, I just ran back upstairs.

"I decided on your oldest pair of sweatpants, I hope it's okay." she let out as she turned around, probably hearing me rush in the room.

Her face immediately changed when she noticed what i was holding and her lips parted. I could read fear in her eyes and she shook her head slightly.

"It's not what you think..."

"You're pregnant?"

I barely even realized that these words came out of my mouth and as soon as I let them out, time seemed to stop. My whole body was throbbing with fear and so many thoughts rushed to my brain that I could barely think.

"No!"

I thought that i'd feel relieved when I would hear that word but my body was still tensed, my hand gripping the box so tight it started hurting.

"No, Niall, of course not!" she took a step my way. "I would have told you."

"Really? Because you didn't tell me you thought you could be."

Her face changed and she frowned, looking down. I knew she felt guilty but I couldn't seem to feel bad for her at that exact moment.

"I woke up one day, realized I was late, bought a test and did it. It was negative so I thought hey, no big deal." she explained with a shrug before looking back up in my eyes. "It's not like I waited weeks or anything, it was all in the span of a few hours and you were out."

Realizing I had kept my air in, I exhaled slowly, trying to relax my body and finally closed my eyes before rubbing them. I didn't want to be mad at her and if I wanted to be honest, it was a bit wrong of me to be mad anyway. I knew she just wanted to spare me the stress, I just wasn't sure I liked that we kept things from each other.

"If this happens again, I want to know, even if it's negative."

She nodded and I sighed again, walking up to her and taking her in my arms. We hugged for a few seconds and I finally moved back.

"Let's just sleep."

I walked to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before getting undressed and throwing my dirty clothes in the laundry basket. When I came back, the lights were off and she was already laying down in bed. I walked up to her and sat on the mattress,noticing the frame on the bedside table with our young faces on it. I smiled despite myself, not being able to read the little card placed in the corner but knowing exactly what was written on it.

"I love you, Olivia."

I felt her move behind me and closed my eyes when I felt her chest press against my bare back. She leaned her chin on my shoulder and I felt a shiver cross my back.

"I love you too, Niall." she murmured. "I'm so sorry."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #my fanfic #amc #enjoy this moment of happiness #you really should #trust me #PLEASE READ THE NOTES? I NEED YOUR OPINION THANK YOU

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lgcsubin · 4 years

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₊ ˚ 𝐡𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐢𝐧! ━ hello, i’m nic and this is ( take two )! originally i brought in jinhyuk, but due to some conflicts with how i felt about the muse, i decided to do some small revamping and now i feel much better about him. ;w; as some of you may know, this is a second muse - my first being lgcallie! as usual, below the cut is an introduction and there are triggers for insinuated parental neglect & possible emotional / mental abuse so proceed with caution when reading. please like or im to plot if you’re interested, or you can add my krp twt @ eternitvs !

₊ ˚ LIFE BEFORE LEGACY

born on jeju island and lived close by the water for much of his early childhood! he’s a beach baby who is used to the tourist life so he had a lot of friends come and go especially during travel seasons. got used to it really quick but was always left with a sense of loneliness afterwards ( plot ideas! )

his family life isn’t the greatest. his parents are rather absent and when they’re not, they’re hyper critical of their child to the point that subin often rebels and quote unquote, “ runs away from home”. this usually ends with him sleeping over one or the other of his two best friend’s houses at the time, but after he cooled down he usually went back home the next day. during worse spats, he’d stay out for a few days at a time

one of his best friends is the reason that subin fell in love with the stars. he didn’t like being at home very often so most nights, especially over school breaks, he’d stay out late with him and stargaze. this led to subin learning about constellations and other things about space on his own

when he was in his early teens, his parents picked up the family and moved them to the city which was another point of disdain for subin. he hated being taken away from jeju because he loved the beaches and he loved his friends who were more family to him than his own parents at that point, but he didn’t really have a choice

for quite a long time, he was bitter and angry. focused all of his attention on his studies and found it hard to make friends. not that people went out of their way to become friends with jeju boy ( plot ideas! potential classmates? )

eventually found his place, though and things became a little easier but his relationship with his parents never got better. in fact, through his teens, it probably grew even worse. arguments got more loud and he’d slam more doors

when one of his best friends also moved to the city from jeju, he was elated. started to spend more and more time at his apartment than he did at home, but he’d always go to school and take care of himself because his parents are basically deadbeats who don’t take care of their child and only live to berate him

more lonely than he’d like to admitTM

₊ ˚ TRAINEE LIFE

truthfully, he probably didn’t start thinking about the entertainment field as a possible line of career until his best friend from jeju debuted as an idol

and when the best friend he made in the city actually went to an audition and passed without telling him or asking him to go along, he kind of felt really betrayed? their friendship dwindled a lot after that, both because that best friend was busy and because subin felt really hurt that he didn’t even bother telling him that he was going on an audition. but it really spurred on his competitive side and riled him up to go to an audition

got into legacy in july 2018, six months after his best friend - only to realize that the company subin auditioned for must have been the same one his best friend did which only made him angry

trainee life otherwise has been pretty uneventful. he’s dividing his time between his studies since they’re very intensive courses, as well as doing his best to try and debut

sometimes he feels like he’s caught in a rut because he’s never felt ready enough for future dreams or he was too busy with school courses to even attempt to audition for it. sometimes he’s pulled between which he wants to spend more time on, and he knows that if he really thought about it, he’d probably drop being a trainee completely

even though he’s been a trainee for awhile now, he feels super behind the other boys. part of it fuels his competitive side, but the other part of him feels bitter at himself because he hasn’t succeeded in anything yet - he’s got some major internalized self hate, probably because his parents instilled that thought in his head that he’s never going to amount to anything!! a mess! ( plot idea! maybe someone to convince him otherwise ... filled! )

generally during training, he focuses on vocals, dancing, hosting, modeling, and acting! honestly would be a good performer if he believed in himself more, but he has a fatalistic and pessimistic belief about everything lbr

₊ ˚ FUTURE DREAMS & ASPIRATIONS

has interests in being an idol / host? maybe with some acting on the side? he has a broad spectrum of interests in the entertainment field and wouldn’t mind where legacy decides to stick him, honestly - if they actually ever debut him. he’s not so unrealistic to think that he’s definitely going to make it through without question

therefore, when the subsidiary companies were announced and subin heard that some of the other trainees were transferred out or requested transfers, he decided to stay put where he was just to see what legacy had in store for him if anything at all. even if they decide not to debut him, it’s not like he’s washed up - after all, he is studying to be an astrophysicist outside of the company

as said above, if he really thought about his future he’d probably drop being a trainee completely to focus on his studies ... but he doesn’t want to think about it because it’s still something that he really enjoys

₊ ˚ HEADCANONS

if he was a character from a movie, he’d be finnick odair. i know, i’m crying too ( closed plot idea until chemistry is established! but give me his annie!! )

as such, yes it might be difficult to tell whether or not he’s actually a friend of yours at first given his personality - especially in a setting like legacy where competition runs rampant. but in reality he’s just a lonely wimp who is a true romantic and wants to be loved, and if you’re actual friends then you have a friend for life as long as you don’t do anything that crosses the line with him ( looking at you, jiho )

contrary to the icon that i used in this post, subin does actually have pink hair and whether or not that was approved by the company remains to be seen tbh ( plot ideas! )

he’s actually insanely smart and always has been, but it might not seem like it at first meeting because while intelligent, he doesn’t engage well unless he’s extremely interested in something

subin has a love / hate relationship with the city. it’ll always be the place that his parents brought him to against his will, and he’s unable to see the stars very well with all the city lights. but there are people in the city who he’s grown to love, and things that he’s found that he likes to do here too so it’s not all bad. just mostly bad because he’s superrrr homesick for jeju

probably known as star boy to most if not all of legacy at this point for his random outbursts about stars in general ( plot ideas! )

#⟨ ‣ OUT OF CHARACTER ₊ ˚ ━ typist . ⟩#lgc:intro

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petitepistol · 4 years

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headcanon;but it is very messy

oh god strap in because this is going to be 3k words worth of rambling under the cut which you don't actually have to read since i posted it at 5am so it probably does not make much sense!! also I have only just recently accepted that my elena does not follow compilation timeline to the letter because I fucking hate the fact that before crisis placed her age at being a high school student almost immediately preceding the start of the original game and I always saw elena as being at least aerith's age by the time she became a turk so please bear with me as my elena uses a floating timeline to prevent her from being...like a literal teenager for original game fuck that noise they had cissnei be the uwu fifteen-year-old turk and elena gets to be her own character when im writing her so compilation can fuck right off

so first off her dad is a military man, and that entire side of his family? kind of just defaulted into the military for generations. well before shinra at least, the old shit. I'm constantly flabbergasted by the idea that shinra is the dominant military force on the planet when as little as forty years before game them were a fledgling company, and I'm fascinated by what kind of insane shit must have gone down to facilitate shinra going from defense contractor/power company to defacto global superpower, and what they superseded when that happened. so yeah her dad is military, and even after he was put out to pasture he still wound up teaching at a prestigious shinra sponsored academy in junon and both of his daughters attended.

her mom was upper middle class and driven as hell, had a ballet career which got cut short due to injury in her late teens. then she wound up going into nursing by her early twenties and spent some time working in deepground when it was still a run of the mill army hospital where she met elena's father who was...voluntarily a candidate for some biotech stuff that shinra was doing back when shinra was still a defense contractor, go figure he was one of many early examples of mako conditioning. they didn't get along at first but did wind up marrying but never actually settling down because of the nature of his career. she retired from nursing but did medical coding part-time.

elena's sister was born in deepground (canonically from the 'midgar slums' but deepground is pretty fucking close and it makes sense to the era and background worldbuilding), and things went as smoothly as possible at this point in time. elena herself was born in icicle because lol military stationed there (elena being an icicle native was also a very popular piece of fanon in the pre-compilation era and I feel like it may have had some supporting evidence in something like kaitai shinsho but I never really managed to cross-reference that so probably not true and just a gut feeling), and by then things were getting...fishy. details being covered up about the full extent of the side-effects of mako conditioning and rumors that shinra had an egregious amount of influence over the military at large. these things all turned out to be true, but elena's father kept his head down and did his duty because he was a good soldier. he was also in wutai on and off during this, before the situation over there fully hit the fan, so he had more pressing matters to worry about.

anyway, elena was born in icicle but she and her mother and sister weren't there for more than a year or so before it was back at it again in midgar because dad was being put on some kind of assignment that had him closely working with shinra. the general implication of this is he was doing legwork for the implementation of SOLDIER in a few years, but what that means can vary by interaction from being paperwork to mk ultra style endurance testing to teaching an adolescent jenova project specimen how to integrate into military procedure before they drop him in wutai which is slated to become an all-out conflagration very shortly. it all depends but the point is it is sticky and worsened significantly when his wife is killed in a car accident. if this seems familiar it is because I firmly believe elena is the aya brea of ffvii and parasite eve featured similar background story. I'm borrowing deal with it.

by this point, elena is around eight and in school but elena is just barely four and in the vehicle when it happens. mom is killed instantly, elena survives but barely fares better. she's in intensive care for a while and there is a period where they don't even know if she is going to be brain dead or just have permanent brain damage in the first few days. her sister is basically staying at a school friend's house for like...way more than a fortnight while this got sorted out because their dad still actually has orders to carry out, even if he isn't on a battlefield. at one point on of his higher-ups implies that it could be arranged to transfer elena from the civilian hospital to the recently renovated deepground and he turns it down and feels like shit for it because yeah, deepground probably would mean a better chance at his youngest daughters survival because of that cutting edge shinra biotech, but at what cost? he knows well enough now something is wrong and justifies his willingness to let fate take its course with elena by focusing on the fact that her sister is still alive and well and he needs to keep his head down for his older daughter because she needed him too, even though they barely saw each other during the crux of this.

so lo and behold elena does recover and goes through the icky sticky of physical therapy and does just fine. great, right? well yes but the family dynamic is stupidly fucked up. dad has done either really good or really bad on his assignment, and gets put out to pasture in junon to teach at a military academy that is now nearly entirely funded by shinra (yeah so in before crisis it is all but implicit that academy is in midgar but fuck that junon is the seat of military power it would be near there if anything). this is great because it keeps him in work and both of his daughters will benefit. which they do. elena's sister is an ideal student, and the roughness of losing her mother happened at a sensitive period but a period where she was old enough to understand what was going on. she was capable of being a little trooper through all of it, but the cost of it was not being able to emotionally process the loss of her mother and the fact that her little sister was still alive when mom was not. the seeds of discord are sown there and that will be an ongoing thing throughout their childhood and into adulthood. they don't hate each other, but the relationship is fraught with tension and it is far from a healthy dynamic, especially since their father has pulled back almost entirely from fatherhood. he has no idea what he is doing without his late wife, and can't organically interact with his daughters so he defaults to being an instructor. both of them flourish despite this, but it is not a good family dynamic.

paint over this family drama with the fact that wutai is now well and truly happening. the military is effectively controlled by shinra and very very soon the propaganda blitz surrounding SOLDIER is going to push that over the edge and shinra will be accepted on a public and official level as being the army. the slogans are changing and going from an old fashioned sense of unity to focusing on becoming top class and singularly extraordinary. there is an emphasis on joining to be great rather than joining for the greater good. the recruitment plays into the deeply seated neurosis of adolescence for a reason because the younger some kid joins up the more malleable they are to both the shinra rhetoric and the by now very refined mako enhancement process that costs so much but nets such spectacular gains. in fact, it costs far too much to ever justify wasting that kind of money on doing it to women. so yeah it is blog canon that women in the shinra army is not a thing that is encouraged and like hell would they ever be in SOLDIER. the company culture is an old boys club steeped in misogyny and the only reason scarlet succeeded is because she took that and marinated in it and played the game very well. dirge era deepground operatives are little more than a consequence of years of unethical human experimentation left to rot in a basement. we don't really see women in actual military positions in the original game. sexism is alive and well and it serves my characterization of elena and her development.

so yeah it is a time of paradigms shifting and reforming very rapidly. elena's sister takes to this with aplomb, she is a perfect cadet and in elena's eyes a perfect daughter. someone easier to idolize than the SOLDIERs on the glossy recruitment posters and more available than their emotionally distant father. she is pristine and by extension beloved, things elena wants to be as well. elena is too young to realize her sister doesn't have any better of a relationship with their father than she does, but who knows if that would change anything. she emulates her ideal sister but remains a half step behind, which makes perfect sense because elena is four years younger. from a critical perspective that half step is a very close gap because even if elena doesn't realize it, she is just as prodigious as her sister is. the difference is while her sister can follow orders to the letter, elena has the makings of a maverick. not a positive thing in the strict environment of a military academy, no matter how high her scores are. idealization goes hand and hand with a quiet resentment, the latter of which her sister has also harbored towards her ever since their later mother died and elena did not.

that simmering toxicity stays at a low boil until her sister graduates. at the top of the class, even she could not become anything. or at least, to elena it looks that way, as she watches her sister back her things for midgar where she will start as a trainee for an administrative/auditing position for the shinra electric power company. elena does not know what a turk is at this point, even if her father does. he seems as impassive as ever, even if that is not the case and in actuality he is struggling to accept the reality that his oldest daughter is far too smart for his own good and is entering a profession no one would ever want for their child. despite his distance and his lack of connection and all of his failings as a father he does love his children and that will eat away at him until he dies no doubt. but all elena sees is her shining example of an older sister being doomed to desk work. when gun leaves (because she becomes gun the moment she is added to the payroll) the real constant of elena's childhood also leaves. and during adolescence, that is hard for anyone. more so when you realize no matter how sharp your skills are your future is off the chopping block and there is no path for you to take with them.

elena goes from being a prodigy prone to pesky critical thinking to a prodigy with a chip on her shoulder. her technical marks don't plummet, in fact, quite the opposite. she picks up a secondary battle specialty, close-quarters combat, which will set her apart from her sister. she flourishes with equal parts precision and aggression, despite her small size. the academic commendations feel entirely hollow to her though, and in the way teenagers tend to do she convinces herself she is not much more than nothing. the memory of her sister becomes tarnished with the bitterness of her negative self-image. her instructors must hate her for her failures, she tells herself with false objectivity. her instructors include her actual father, who is nearly clueless aside from a vague feeling in the pit of his stomach and he doesn't know if that is due to his oldest daughter going into wetworks or the fact his younger daughter is shattering academic record after record with the sheer force of what he assumes to be ennui driven spite.

at least he is clueless until in the spring just after she turns fifteen she files for early certification to leave academy, just like every other boy in her year as well as every other boy on the continent and beyond. they do it to catch the recruitment push and join the army soon enough to have a shot at making SOLDIER before they age out. but elena can't do that and he knows it and braces himself to have that conversation with her, calling her into his office where she keeps her stance formal until he tells her to be as ease and even in the chair across from his desk her posture is tense. spine straight, eyes ahead. he begins what he thinks is going to be the "you know you can't join SOLDIER" conversation but she cuts him off in what he thinks is a somewhat uncharacteristic display, but to her is just another example of how disgraceful her conduct is and how she needs to get out of academy before brings the value of the whole institution down. she tells him this, she tells him she is aware of her shortcomings and the fact she has no future in a military career and her intention is to go to midgar and learn how to be a civilian on her own terms. he signs off on it because none of her bullet points are actually wrong.

midgar is a city of industry and a city of vice and she hasn't been there since she was a child. it is good to her and it is bad to her, as she unlearns years of quasi-military discipline and figures out how to be her own person. she still sometimes wears the academy uniform because old habits die hard and it is a durable thing. she has a one-room apartment in the slums and a job tending bar in wall market. the hours are early evening to after the last train ends and her circadian rhythm adjusts from 4am wakeups and beds made with hospital corners to the distorted clock that comes from living under a plate with no natural sunlight. there are just as many fights and skirmishes to be had in midgar but none of them are like the training exercises at academy. each one is a beautiful short-lived shrine, sometimes they are fun and on her terms, and other times they are fraught and meant for survival. elena relishes them all as a skillset she once thought was a dead-end turns out to be valuable once more. the major negative point is her sister.

gun is in midgar and wears a sleek black suit along with many other people in sleek black suits. elena hears the term 'turk' for the first time. whether they are urban legends or hired killers or pencil pushers who do double duty waterboarding enemies of a power company turned judge and jury doesn't matter. what matters is the deadness she can see in gun's green eyes when she drops by the bar before closing, oftentimes with equally dead-eyed coworkers. those confrontations are never pleasant, they are a powderkeg. elena would like to reach out to her sister, chase away the exhausted look in her face the way she can with other patrons, but the sentiment gets stuck in her throat and they just snipe at each other. gun is a terrible adult and so are all of her colleagues and they are trying their best to neutralize a growing terrorist threat and they are failing. when they come around in the low light of the bar illuminates the stark futility of everything after midnight.

elena does not know exactly what is going on at the highest level of intrigue but she has a good guess. shinra is shitting the bed, and that includes the turks and SOLDIER, which seems to her to be in the middle of a massive coverup as their public-facing 1sts disappear one after another. she wants no part of it and her agenda switches from mastering the nuances of being a civilian to finding sustainability and meaning outside of shinra as the cracks in the facade split ever wider. when the sector six plate is effectively destroyed, it takes the bar she worked at with it and elena decides it is time to get the hell out of midgar.

her years in wall market set her up with some interesting connections and the owner of a small weapons shop (who she might have married for tax purposes but that isn't fleshed out) sets her up with a distinguished older gentleman who is a complete asshole and happens to run guns all across the continent. despite his immaculate coiffure he is not a people person and requires someone who is both qualified to demonstrate his product and more pleasant to deal with than him, because the market is hot right now. shinra has never had much interest in dealing with flyover country. sure they build reactors in some of the backwaters, but not all of them. and no reactor meant no need for shinra to spend the money on protecting hick villages from increased monster presence. the planet is dying and the monsters are restless in the same way wildlife gets in the real world. the people in those tiny towns do their best to defend their homes and livelihood and that means purchasing weaponry, mostly old stock from competitors that shinra has long since crushed or acquired. shinra lets this happen because it is not a threat to them.

so, for a few years, elena is a pretty face with a bang and it is almost scarlettian. she never comes close to the sex appeal of the actual weapons development director of shinra, but it is enough to help move merchandise. most of the buyers are just people trying to survive in the middle of nowhere, but not always. sometimes they are rougher than that, but the money is good enough that she doesn't care about that, or the fact the man who employed her hates her guts and doesn't care much whether she lives or dies. it is a thrilling rush and it is outside of shinra and more than ever does she want to put as much distance as possible between shinra and herself. because her sister is dead according to a notification that tseng of the turks had been cordial enough to send to her father, news that he passed on in a voicemail to elena with a hollow tone. maybe he was trying to reconnect with her because she was now all he had left in the way of family. maybe he just had the same sense of duty as always. she never calls back to ask.

midgar calls her back though. one day her employer informs her with a vindictive grin that he has sold the business part and parcel and that includes her as an employee. acquired by shinra. the reason, ironically, is scarlet, whom she has been doing a two-bit impersonation of. scarlet is a forward thinker but that doesn't mean she can't be swayed by a stockpile of vintage firearms, and with the viciousness required of her position she can throw weight around and get her hands on anything. the weapons are what she wanted and elena knows this and rejects the notion that she will become apart of the shinra payroll because of this little merger. this is proven wrong in short order as her assets are frozen systematically because the turks are hard up for people. they know her. they knew her sister and they know her, even if they haven't kept tabs on her. as soon as the papers cross his desk tseng seizes the opportunity.

the interview with hr to place elena is a mere formality. there is no other place for her there but in the turks. elena, for all her audacity, accepts this and plasters on a professional veneer. the game begins and the world ends.

#ooc #headcanon #somebody sent me a very broad development ask and i wrote several thousand words in the middle of the night #holy shit im sorry for the wall of text someday i will clean this up i swear #some of this has been touched on in existing headcanon posts but not as a whole #as a whole it is...a lot to take in and whoever reads this has my condolences

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jeannereames · 5 years

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Hello, Dr. Reames! I love your work (and am very excited to read your novels very soon!). I am thinking of doing a phd (not history or classics, but maybe sort of related to Alexander) but I'm scared that I'm not going to have the motivation to go through with the whole thing... Do you ever lose motivation and get discouraged when researching/writing and how do you deal with it? I know that this is completely unrelated to Alexander/ancient history so feel free to ignore it☺

Hi, there! This reply is going to be in 3 parts. First, about my own motivation…

I think everybody (even Alexander!) has periods of feeling discouraged. It’s part of being human. This is especially true when something you put days, weeks, or sometimes *years* of effort into doesn’t work out, or isn’t well-received, or comes back with “revise and resubmit.” Ha.

So, real life recent example: About a year and a half ago, I finished an article that took me (literally) 5 years to research and write, because it combined research into two different areas, only one of which is my research area. It took a huge amount of reading, and I’d even presented it at a couple of conferences, where I received good feedback. It was supposed to be published in conference proceedings, but that fell through (not my part of it, the entire publication didn’t happen because the editor quit). So I had to shop it around to journals. It went out to three readers, and all three returned it with “Revise (substantially) and resubmit,” + large *additional* bibliography (mostly not in English) in the area not my field. Two of the readers thought my chief point was valid, but needed more support. (The third just flat disagreed with me, but it’s academia; that happens.) But that was after it had been presented 3xs already, and revised after each.

OTOH, I was pretty discouraged. But OTOH, the suggestions and reading lists were helpful. These are blind reviews, so it wasn’t personal. And the entire point of peer review is to help a book or article improve. Lord knows, nobody wants to put out something that will get you laughed at. But after all the time I’d already spent on it, it was still really discouraging as I’d thought it in pretty good shape.

Almost everybody in academia is going to have an article or three turned down, or a book refused, etc. And after a while, it can be really hard to keep trying. And it’s not just in academia.

Do you know how long it took me to sell Dancing with the Lion? 15 years! I got my first serious query from an agent in 1996. (The first words of the novel were written in December of 1988–that’s how old it is.) That agent eventually decided it wasn’t for her. I’ve had a couple others since…same thing. I’ve sent out probably around 500 queries to agents or publishers. In fact, I’d put the book AWAY and started a completely different trilogy (which I’m in the middle of now), because I figured it would only sell later.

Then I happened to read comments about Madeline Miller’s A Song for Achilles written by an English professor and new acquisitions editor at Riptide. She liked it, but there were a couple of things she really didn’t like. And they were the very ways (I thought) my novel was different. So I emailed her. She asked for sample chapters, then the whole thing, and finally, Riptide offered me a contract. They’re not a major press, they’re a Romance publisher primarily, but they were willing to take a chance on my coming-of-age historical, so I grabbed the opportunity. Now the book is out (well, the first half is), and it’s getting pretty decent reviews.

So persistence can pay off.

That said, if someone else had told me that story 10 years ago, I’d have snorted and said (in my mind), “Maybe it did for you. Maybe I’m just a bad writer and I’ll never succeed.” I’d also just been through a divorce and was having trouble selling my house in the housing bust, etc., etc. So a lot of things in my life were pear-shaped at the time, and that can make it really hard to keep trudging.

The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a real thing, and we all go through it.

The only way I get through it, myself, is to remember things in the past that went well, times I succeeded. Plus, I’m just a really stubborn SOB. Ha.

But discouragement is normal, and there will be points in everybody’s life where not just one or two things are going wrong, but it seems as if EVERYthing is going wrong and you’re just a total failure. You have to believe it’ll get better.

Now, part #2, about motivation to complete a degree. It’s a bit like the AA motto: one day at a time. Or really, one semester at a time. One hurdle at a time. When I first got to Penn State, the long, long road ahead made me freak out a little, but Gene Borza (my advisor) told me to take it in bites. And to remember that other people had made it through; I could, as well.

Also, don’t let yourself get thrown by “Imposter’s Syndrome.” This is the feeling that you don’t belong somewhere: in grad school, in a PhD program, in a department (or really, ANY arena). You’re not as good as the others. Minorities, women, and first-generation college students are those most likely to suffer imposter’s syndrome, but it can hit others too, such as the children of academics (I’ll never measure up to mom/dad), etc.

Last, part #3, and this may seem an odd coda to all the above rah-rah cheerleading. But as a (now former) graduate program chair, I would be terribly remiss if I didn’t put out a warning.

Not only is the field of humanities in trouble right now, in the US and Canada, and elsewhere, too, but the entire university system is changing. This latter is especially true in the US, but I hear rumblings from other places. Partly, this owes to the rise of online education. But even more, it’s what I call the “Wal-martization” of the university, where tenure-track lines are being replaced by a bunch of part-time instructors who have to teach 6 classes just to make enough to EAT. “Adjunct” professors, even those with PhDs, are paid a pittance. It’s absolutely immoral and ridiculous.

Universities are turning into profit more than education, with a degree seen as “job training” instead of learning to think critically and exploring Big Questions, which are increasingly viewed as a waste of time. Administration levels are increasingly bloated with deans, assistant deans, supervisory boards, etc. They’re (mostly) not teaching, but their paycheques are high. Tenured faculty positions are being eliminated. Colleges and unis realized that they could turn over a lot of (especially intro and survey) courses to part-time instructors for a *fraction* of what they paid tenured and tenure-track faculty, but still reap high tuition.

When I was finishing up in the ‘90s, I was teaching as an adjunct while writing my dissertation, then for a bit after, as was expected for “teaching experience” before being hired. The phenomenon of the “Visiting Assistant Professor” (or VAP) was *starting* to gain traction, but was still usually just a year or two until these people would find a tenure-track position (VAP is not tenure-track). But now, I know people who’ve been VAPping for YEARS. And some just give up. Also, adjuncting like what I was doing has gone from “teaching experience for a real job” into “the only lane for employment” for a lot of PhD (and some MA) graduates. Especially women PhDs get caught in that trap.

These are the realities of where we are right now.

And THE MOST USELESS DEGREE ON THE PLANET is a PhD in the humanities. I say that as one who holds it. With a few exceptions, a humanities PhD prepares you for pretty much one job: being a professor. And those jobs are winking out of existence with frightening speed. This is a change that has accelerated over the last 10 years, and especially over the last 5. We’re turning out PhDs with no available positions. Museum studies, Classics, archaeology, philosophy are in even worse shape. SOME history PhDs are more popular. This year, H-Net has a bunch of Latin American positions open, for instance.

An MA in history (or related) is still useful. There are certain jobs that like them, ranging from state jobs like the Park Service to the FBI and CIA.

But a PhD? Think loooooong and hard before investing that time and money. This is not a matter of *you* not being able to do the work to get one. It’s a matter of the university system as we’ve known it crumbling away under our very feet. I have no idea what the American university will look like in 10 years. And once you have a PhD, it educates you out of most other jobs.

So that’s the unfortunate bad news. And I’d be a very irresponsible advisor if I didn’t tell you the truth. IME, people who really want a PhD will ignore me and go after it anyway. But at least you’ll go in with your eyes open.

#encouragement #dealing with discouragement #imposter's syndrome #academia #PhD track #Adjunct Hell #Think twice (and then a third time) about getting a PhD these days #Humanities tenure track jobs are drying up #asks

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