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utapri-translations-uuuu · 6 months

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WHO DO YOU CHOOSE? - Translation

Translator's notes can be found at the end and are marked with an asterisk.

Please do not repost/retranslate without permission.

Van: What do you say? You still can’t choose yet…

Van: Do you feel like there’s still something missing?

Yamato: If you like us all about the same, we should settle this fairly with our strength.

Eiichi: In that case, how about a race then?

Eiichi: If you guys don’t think it’s fair, I don’t mind if we make it a Chicken race* instead to test our courage.

Van: No, no! That is way too dangerous! A calm home run contest is better-

Kira: I reject all of them. We should do something fair and just.

Nagi: Nagi is also against it! Even if we gave them a huge handicap, I still don’t want to do either of them!

Nagi: Shion doesn’t either, right?

Shion: … If I am allowed to call my wildlife friends, then… perhaps I can do it.

Nagi: Eh?!

Eiji: If we make it about who can get up the earliest, I might do better…

Kira: If it’s about getting up early, I won’t be beaten either.

Kira: When I bisque-fire my work, I watch over the kiln starting in the morning.

Nagi: Stop! Everyone, stop getting in Nagi’s way!

Nagi: I’m trying really hard to get us to stop entertaining these meaningless physical strength tests!

Nagi: Listen, do you remember what we are fighting for in the first place? It’s true love!

Eiji: Oh, sorry. Nagi is right. Choosing like this is no good. My feelings for Angel got the best of me and I ended up getting carried away.

Shion: Amakusa too.

Shion: It’s a disgrace for a researcher to be so intent on seeking a result that he did not realize that he was taking the wrong course of action to achieve it.

Kira: Me too. I got a little competitive.

Kira: It wasn’t very mature of me.

Eiichi: In that case, should we go back to the starting point?

Eiichi: That is to say, if we’re going to compete, it should be with words of love for Angel. Yes, that is all there is to it.

Van: So I guess each of us will be confessing. It’s the safest choice, but it’s the correct one.

Kira: Is that okay with you, Angel?

(the listener replies)

Eiji: I’m glad. It’s settled, then.

Eiji: What should the order be?

Eiji: Can we start with my older brother since he came up with the idea?

Eiichi: That is fine. I even prefer it that way.

Eiichi: What I offer you is eternal love. It will never perish and will continue to shine radiantly under any circumstances. You will always be happy.

Kira: There is nothing that you and I aren’t able to do together.

Kira: The future ahead of us is dazzling and shimmering. Let’s walk alongside each other forever.

Nagi: With me, you’ll never be lost again. I’ll always find the right answer for you. I’ll always make you smile.

Nagi: You’ll be glad we’re together every day from here on out. So, choose me.

Eiji: I still don't know if I'm worthy of being chosen. However, my feelings for you are sincere.

Eiji: So I would be happy if you could accept my heart as it is. I just want you to smile, even if it’s only during the moment you receive it.

Van: After living together, I have been influenced by you.

Van: Honesty is the most important thing, so I’ll allow myself to say something selfish unashamedly. I want to have a special place in your heart.

Yamato: Don’t make it harder for yourself by thinking too much. You can go with your gut like I do. That is also a legitimate way of doing things.

Yamato: Hey, tell me that your choice is me.

Shion: I am strongly drawn to you. I believe I will never meet someone like you again.

Shion: I hope you will make apparent the miracle of our chance encounter with a message of love.

All: Now, who will you choose?

(simultaneously)

Eiichi: …

Nagi: What?!

Van: You still can’t choose?

Eiichi: We weren’t able to reach a conclusion.

Nagi: You haven’t decided?

Shion: Oh my…!

Kira: I want you to think about it more.

Eiji: Oh no…

Shion: Angel…

Yamato: It’s still no good?

Yamato: What should we do… Does anyone have any other ideas?

All: …

Shion: In Amakusa’s research, when it’s not easy to draw a conclusion, the number of subjects observed is increased… or the observation period is extended.

Eiji: That’s it, Shion! Extending the period of time!

Eiji: If it's okay with everyone, how about we continue to live together until it's decided?

Kira: I agree. It’s like in pottery. Patience is my greatest weapon.

Van: So basically like extra innings in baseball? I’m used to that kind of thing, so there’s no problem.

Yamato: That's fine with me, too.

Eiichi: Of course, I don’t mind that. So the only one left is…

(they all turn to Nagi, waiting for his answer)

Nagi: Geez, it can’t be helped… Naturally, it is OK! Under these circumstances, I can only agree to it, right?

Eiichi: All right. So, let's extend the time and start the second round now.

Eiichi: And if you still can't decide by then, we go by sudden death*. We’ll accompany Angel until they can make up their mind.

Nagi: Say, Angel. Do you dislike the idea of being with me forever from now on? Nagi doesn’t want to be apart from you even for a second. Of course, you feel the same way, don’t you?

Yamato: This time, victory will be mine. Of course, my opponent is you, Angel. In the end, you will pick me.

Eiji: I’ll work even harder than I am now. I’m done holding back from today onwards. Because I really like you. I want to take the initiative to convey my feelings to you.

Shion: This sentiment of love that I have found with you… If we continue to nurture it, how far will it grow? I want the two of us to witness it together.

Van: I will whisper passionate words of love to you as many times as you want, Angel. We’ll talk about so many interesting things, too. I hope you can always smile from the bottom of your heart.

Kira: I think only of your happiness. All my words and actions are for you. As long as I have your love, I don’t need anything else.

Eiichi: I will act according to your heart and offer you as much love as you want. Because my feelings for you will never wither.

(sound of a clock ticking, then striking)

All: HE★VENS LOVE AFFAIR!

All: Let's have a love affair that is like ascending to heaven.

Notes: *1 Chicken race- Eiichi is referring to a game in which two drivers drive toward each other and one must swerve or both may die in the crash. If one driver swerves and the other does not, the one who swerved will be called a "chicken".

*2 Sudden death- A way of quickly deciding a winner in which the first to score wins automatically

#uta no prince sama #utapri #translation #english #he★vens #eiichi otori #kira sumeragi #nagi mikado #eiji otori #van kiryuin #yamato hyuga #shion amakusa #heavens #love affair #drama cd

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woodsfae · 9 months

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Back to it after only… checks notes five months!

Babylon 5 S02414: There All The Honor Lies season 2 table of contents • previous episode

:o They're being merchandised!

"This is demeaning! We're not some deep space franchise." - Susan Ivanova

snerk

In my viewing hiatus, I forgot how truly stunning Claudia Christian is.

Hah, Sheridan fell for the oldest pickpocketing trick in the book, the ole "slight of hand while "accidentally" bumping into you." But I didn't expect it to be a set-up for an attempted murder!

Sheridan really doesn't look like a Bruce.

Delenn with the Hair! Being a detective!

This does smell of a set-up. I agree with Garibaldi, who is much more genial and likeable this episode than I remember him being the last several episodes at least. Maybe the break endeared him to me. :P

Lots of people acting strangely.

I hate that the Minbari are by and large being so racist to Delenn. Also, flagrantly flouting her legal authority as not only the Minbari-appointed ambassador to B5, but also the Council-appointed investigator into this situation!

The investigative protocols are kinda messed up. Sheridan issuing orders about the investigation into his own actions is D: not good. And very ripe for accusations of abuse of his position!

Whew, thank goodness, we're back to the light-hearted B-Plot.

With human face masks.

Hah, about time a lawyer shows up.

Yewouch, the hits keep piling up An indictment from Earth government, too.

Kosh! Kosh! Kosh! Here to be teaching. One does not simply refuse the Vorlon Ambassador's Summons.

A room, low-ceiling, with mysterious tarps shapes dappled in light, dimly. Robed figures. We're into the high fantasy side of this sci fi show again.

Sheridan really said "I don't have any cash, sorry."

omfg. Floating red robed figures singing classical latin hymns. We really are in the high fantasy side of this show again.

This is a moment of true beauty. Fucking wild, how did Kosh arrange this? or is there a society of magical monks living in the Down Below all the time?

Vir is haunted by the agonies of the past for two. Since Londo has no shame or intention of developing a conscience.

It's nice to get some Vir backstory, though. Poor guy. Unsupportive family, shit posting in an out-of-the-way unimportant crap position. And now they're taking it away for him. Rude.

Sheridan's field trip with Kosh was just what he needed, actually.

Delenn's people are shunning her, but she gathers critical information through the power of research and cross-referencing databases! Queen shit.

Minbari martial arts stances are pretty amusing. But Lennier's most deadly weapon is persuasive argument and appeals to honor.

Minbari don't lie, except to protect another Minbari's honor. THe latter part generally not being disclosed to aliens. That's a pretty big loophole, though. Makes it more like "Prefers to be honest when it's not too uncomfortable."

Delenn's propensity for meeting with her allies in private, aesthetic surroundings is as endearing as much as it is a ploy, I think. It's great for the type of gentle honesty she fosters in her conversations.

Dang, knowing this perspective of Sheridan's military victory over the Minbari, it does seem like an insult that Earth appointed him the commander of B5.

This outcome, as suggested by Sheridan, is a tidy way to wrap it up. But the backroom dealing feels more…overt? And less through official channels than much of Sinclair's dealings. Though there were coverups under his tenure, too! Such is the nature of B5 politics, it seems. But it also makes it a bit difficult to remember which governments, and which characters, know what. A lot of misinformation gets sent home to various planetary governments and circulates B5!

This seems nice of Londo to do for Vir, but I bet Londo also doesn't want to risk the next assistant not being as loyal to him personally. Better to keep the current one, butter him up, and improve his circumstances a little, to encourage that loyalty more.

Or kill him if everything goes south! So candid! Plus a month with the dreaful family. Londo can't help but be an ass, it seems.

And so ends the monetazation of B5. A little bear jettisoned into space. Captain's whims win, capitalism fights another day, a thousand ways.

A good and fun episode! The Moment of True Beauty really made it for me. A great Kosh Field Trip plopped right in the middle of the action. Just like Vorlons making incomprehensible moves that confuse the lower life forms. I am glad to be back! Hopefully continuing to be!

onwards!

#babylon 5 #woodsfae b5

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uncl3badtouch · 2 months

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My little reviewsie-poo of The Cabin in the Woods

First, I love how it all starts with the guys in what looks like a government facility. I like their snarkyness and how they are so chummy with each other and their co-workers. Kind of on the verge of narcissistic but I mean, these guys seem to know what they're doing. Second, placing those bets... I love that little bit of craziness, how it all seems to be so normal for them. They seem to love and resent what they do.

I really enjoyed how they got our friends together too, for the little vacation. Not the biggest fan of someone being "the fool" because they smoke, and I mean, who was able to survive (ish) because of it? Hmmmm.... but it really did seem to follow the scary movie tropes, and everything the scientists(?) fell into place. It was such a deep story and wasn't all at the same time. I liked the feel of everything having meaning.

As for the cabin itself, I love that they choose everything, that everything had to be done of free will and of their own choices. The whole destiny aspect of it and how they refused up to the very last second to save anyone. I also had a problem with that too. In my own opinion, I wasn't very happy with that, I suppose for selfish reasons because, like, we aren't all so bad that all of humanity had to be taken out... but I guess, once again, it's destiny.

I loved that there were horrors of all kinds, and we love the Merman (who, fun fact, the same actor played both him and the werewolf) and how the monster that was wanting to get used the most, is what eats Mr. Big shot in the end. The sweet irony and with a sick bloody blowhole.

I'm the biggest fan of dark humor and this kind of checked all the boxes, or at least got damn close to checking them all (once I figure out what all the boxes are, I'll let ya know) and every time I watch it, I feel like I see something new or understand something a little better. It's one of those movies that I would never change if it was on, but I don't exactly reach for it every time I want to have something on. In all honesty, I'm going to say that I give it 8/10 stars

There are a handful of really cool deaths in and lots of blood and fun, but I just can't let go of the fact that some buttholes just let us all die (although, that's pretty much the reason for the story) but It's definitely something I think most horror lovers totally understand.

Would I watch it again? I most likely will, but not really any time soon, I got my fix

Would I recommend it? Absolutely! It's something that I think every horror fan should see at least once!

Does it need a sequel? Definitely not lol, I mean, the world ended! But a prequel would be super cool. I did a little research about it though, and nobody is really interested right now in making any so I guess we just have to live with that.

What did you think?

#horror #horror review #film review #movie review #horror movies #horror movie review #the cabin in the woods

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booksandwords · 2 years

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One Summer in Paris by Sarah Morgan

Read time: 3 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: You know what I've always said a man is icing on the cake that's all. And with all the new research on the dangers of sugar, maybe you're better off without. — Mimi (p.93)

One Summer in Paris was an enjoyable fairly fast read, building on female friendship, hurt and similar histories. The leading characters Audrey and Grace are at very different points in their lives but have exactly what the other needs. Confidence, knowledge, honesty and friendship. Audrey 'Audie' Hackett is an 18-year-old British girl travelling to France to get away from her alcoholic mother and figure out what she wants to do with her life. Audie is fiercely independent, dyslexic and doesn't speak a word of French. As far as travelling in France, Paris specifically, goes it's a mixed bag. Her way of making money since she was in her early teens was by washing hair in hairdressers. In contrast, Grace Porter is the mother of a 17-year-old, married for 25-year and American. She is travelling on her own after her husband, David, told her at their 25th-anniversary dinner that he is having an affair. Grace and Audrey meet when Audrey goes all badass and stops a guy from stealing Grace's bag days after Grace arrives in Paris. Their friendship develops from there as Grace starts to realise exactly how much Audrey needs her and Audrey realises Grace also needs her for that little push.

There are surprisingly limited cast and settings but somehow that feels advantageous to the story. The reader becomes comfortable in the locations. It makes it easier to visualise the locations when there are so few of them to remember. Mimi... Mimi's intro had some of the best lines in the whole book. "Maybe it's time to stop dancing. You might lose your balance." "If I'm going to fall, I'd rather do it while I'm dancing. Unless I fall out of bed having sex. That would also be acceptable—although unlikely, unless the men around here get their act together." (Mimi and Grace, p.18) Mimi is Grace's French grandmother only ever referred to as Mimi. She has spent her whole life defying the stereotypes, including being a single mother. Her eccentricity shines and her advice makes me laugh. I came to a realisation quite late in the book that Mimi is a female version of Philippe.

Etienne, Philippe and David are almost a study in contrasts. Or perhaps Etienne is the middle ground between Philippe and David. A sign of the potential improvements in the next generation, the potential Audrey has to have a happier life than Grace did. Sophie, I was perfectly fine with right up until her self-absorbed Mom and Daddy get back together b*llsh*t (b*tch you're 18, welcome to reality). David is written poorly maybe. He's written as a bit of an oaf. He's saving the stereotypical divorce with the much younger woman and is just dumb enough to leave his wife for her. It could also be said that it may be good writing, with Grace being an unreliable narrator.

Dot point comments and quotes

The formatting/language doesn't appear to be quite as clever as Annika Martin and Joanna Chambers' Enemies Like You which remains for me the best use of language I've ever seen. Ignoring the relationship dynamics, Kit and Will and Audrey and Grace have similar language dynamics. Kit and Audrey are British, Will and Grace American. Whereas Martin and Chambers make that language adjustment at all times, spoken words and thoughts, Morgan doesn't appear to. She seems to only adjust it for some spoken words. But this is why Enemies Like You is one of my fave books.

It is written in alternating perspectives primarily switching between Grace and Audrey. There is the occasional Mimi sprinkled in for details and interest.

Sophie is a brilliant protector to Grace in the immediate aftermath of the divorce. She is quite a lot like Mimi in that respect.

There was a moment where I felt something was truly off about Etienne. You don't abandon a girl at a party when she is clearly wasted and doesn't speak the language. There are some age discrepancies in the party guests and turns of phrase that made Audrey (and me) uncomfortable. His reasons helped but still felt offputting.

"Get out of here, and if you come near Meena again I swear I'll hurt you." "You and whose army?" "I don't need an army. I'm my own army. Now fuck off back to wherever you came from, which is probably the sewer." — Meena is Audrey's best friend, this is in the earliest Audrey chapter. We see her as the fierce defender she is here. (Audrey and Rhonda, p.49)

"Now stop letting them get to. Be mad, not scared. And if you can't actually be mad, then ace mad. You need to be meaner than you are. You to be meaner-Meena" — This is the best piece of advice a girl can receive. Boys too. But girls are societally conditioned to be less aggressive. (Audrey, p.50)

• "A career is within your control. I am going to work my butt off in college and get a brilliant job. I am going to shatter glass ceilings into so many pieces that all the men around me will cut their feet on the shards." — This is from a pissed off hurt daughter. Honesty it works so well. (Sophie, p.82)

Grace tumbled through the door into her arms, and Mimi almost staggered. It was as if grief had made her heavier. — I appreciate this physical manifestation of grief. (Mimi, p.90)

She slid the key into her pocket, feeling grown-up. Maybe that was all it took. A key. A place of your own. The ability to decide what you did with your day. To make choices that weren't driven by compensating for other people's mistakes. — I adore this as another idea of manifestation. Because Audrey is probably right about this whole idea. (Audrey, p.105)

"Friends and family all have opinions and feel they have to fix things, and somethings all you want is someone to listen." — The truth to this is undeniable. I'm guessing this is why counsellors make so much money. Audrey learnt her listing skills in the hairdressers, they too are used just so people can get information off their chest. (Audrey, p.121)

"No offence, Grace, but you're not looking that married from where I'm sitting. It takes more than a ring and a piece of paper. It takes the man to be present. He isn't present, and that is his biggest flaw." "Good point. Brutal, but good." — (Audrey and Grace, p.173)

Philippe had always had a book under his arm, the pages marked, corners turned in. They'd argued about whether it was right to defile books. He'd believed that a book should live a life, show signs of age and use. Battered was good because it meant someone had read and read. Best of all were notes, above the text and in the margins. — Oh my librarian self and my book-loving soul is so torn on this quote and the thoughts behind it but to each their own. (Grace, p.219)

My Goodreads review has a longish discussion of the conclusion here. I needed to talk about it. While I do have issues with the ending I was left with the overwhelming feeling that Sarah Morgan was telling us that each generation has it just a bit better. Have hope.

Despite my reservations about the ending, I do recommend this. It is a powerful female friendship done well, it shows the power of a shared path across generations and to a degree how time is changing social issues. I appreciate Sarah Morgan's writing, the way she can make things feel quite physical almost visceral when needed. The plot isn't all that complicated but to me, it is more about Grace and Audrey's friendship than the broader plot.

#one summer in paris #sarah morgan #book review #ktreviews #read 2022 #dymocksreadingchallenge #chicklit #spoilers on goodreads #booklr

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sebstanseabass · 3 years

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Afterglow (A Bucky Barnes AU fan fiction) - Chapter 11

Afterglow chapters

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

A/N: I am not from the US and I've only been in New York once when I was a kid (I don't remember much lol I was six, I think), so I apologize if some of the places are inaccurate but I tried my very best to do my own research. Anyway, this is one of my favorite chapters I've written and I hope you guys enjoy it as well!

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The first whisper of the Monday air, brushed among the streets of the Upper West Side as you and Bucky decided to grab your running shoes and spend this day outside in the open air, hoping to burn all the calories you consumed last night. With a bottle of water in both your hands, you reached Central Park, catching your breaths. With sweat dripping down your forehead to your eyes, you saw a vacant bench and took the liberty to sit on it with Bucky behind you.

"Do you," Bucky sat beside you, panting and squinting his eyes and shaking off the sweat on his face, "do you run everyday?"

"Not everyday." You chuckled, taking a sip of water. "Four times a week."

"Why do you even like running? I feel like I'm in hell." He sighed, resting his neck on the brace. His breathing was restless and uneven but soon calmed down after a few moments.

"It takes my mind off things. I got a lot going on up here, y'know." You replied with much honesty. "Other people do it to keep in shape but I do it because I need it."

"I've never considered running. I just go to the gym and lift weights. Well, I have my own gym but if I'm being honest with you, I've been slacking off since the day I got here in New York."

You smiled and lifted your eyes to look at him. His face was glistening under the bright morning sun.

"Maybe it's a good thing we ran today." You nudged his shoulder with yours, his sweat-drenched skin rubbing up against your own. "You should run more. The more you do, the less you'll hate it. Trust me."

"You know what, as long as I'm with you, I will." He chuckled. "Ain't running with anybody else but you, doll."

There was a warm sensation moving up towards your cheeks. You didn't know if it was the heat of the sun or the warm blood rushing in but either way, you just knew that a pink flourish was becoming visible on your cheeks.

During that moment all you could muster was: "S-sure."

You hid your face by facing the opposite of Bucky and looked at the crowd that Central Park held. There, across the field lay a dozen picnic blankets on the bright green grass where a bunch of families and couples were reading, eating and talking audibly. Some were sitting underneath the tree for some shade. Some were walking their dogs on a leash and a poop bag ready on hand. Some were tourists with heavy backpacks just walking around. The chirping birds soaring in the air grabbed my attention, making you look up at the sky in which the bright sun hurt your eyes. You closed your eyes after that, trying to regain most of your vision. Once you did, you opened your phone and checked if Peter had left any messages. Unfortunately, there weren't any.

Peter was very vague about where his corporate retreat was, sticking to his notion that in order for him to take his mind off things, he also needed to be away from his real world, whatever that meant.

You sighed, texting Peter anyway, telling him everything was fine and that Bucky had been with you ever since he went away. You asked him how he was and hoped that everything was fine and well, and that he was enjoying his corporate retreat.

"Hey, let me take you somewhere nice today." Bucky said while tapping your sweaty shoulder, making you look up from your phone.

"Why? Where are we going?"

Bucky stood up, typing on his phone and looking around the park. "Wherever my car takes us. I figured since the bar doesn't open on Monday, you and I could do something fun that'll help you relax. Come on, you can go shower in my penthouse. I already have clothes sorted out for you in the guest room."

Your mind was still processing the part where he said that you could go shower in his penthouse.

Confused, you asked. "Wait, now?"

"Yes. Now, get up on your feet. My car's waiting on the road."

He didn't give you much time to comprehend his words, and respond, as he grabbed your hand, pulled you up from the bench. And as you ran, hand in hand, amidst the crowd, there it was again, that after feeling of spontaneity, fleeting; that same feeling you couldn't seem to explain really well — that same feeling you were wishing to avoid.

You and Bucky jogged towards the streets where a black and white Maserati with fully tinted windows was waiting on the side of the street. You thanked Bucky as he opened the door for you. He gave you a cheeky smile in response then hopped in beside you, introducing you to the driver named Howard. Howard nodded his head and smiled at you through the rearview mirror.

Once the car revved forward, you shifted uncomfortably in your seat, weary that your sweat was getting all over the expensive leathered seats of Bucky's car. You moved a bit forward in an oh-so-subtle movement, pushing your body against the strap of the seatbelt across your chest and did your best as you could to avoid sweating all over the seats. With one strong swift move, Bucky pulled your arm back, throwing your back against the seat and told you to relax.

You greeted Leonard with a smile and a wave once you arrived in White Wolf. You and Bucky exchanged some small conversation in the elevator which led right into the penthouse, something about the last time you were here. You both laughed at the memory as you teased him about it.

The penthouse didn't change as much the last time you were here; the only difference was there was no woman with little to no clothing waiting for Bucky to arrive. You looked towards the huge glass windows, your lips curved downward as you were hoping to get a good view of New York that was hiding behind the draped curtains. Bucky led the way towards the guest room in a well-lit hallway on the second floor. You walked under little chandeliers hanging from above. On the walls were duplicate Van Gogh paintings, and framed photographs of nature that blended well with the color scheme of the paintings, as well as the penthouse.

"I picked out some clothes for you that I thought you might like and had my assistant bring them over here." Bucky said, opening the door.

Feeling a bit guilty, you said: "Bucky, you didn't have to."

"I insist. Besides, I'm in charge of you for the whole week." He smiled, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

You playfully rolled your eyes. "I told you, I can take care of myself."

"I'm older than you so you do what I tell you." He just dismissed your remark, and added: "Now go shower. I'll meet you downstairs for some brunch."

With that, Bucky closed the door behind him, leaving you in a state of awe as you looked around the guest room which was twice as big as your room. It was like a duplicate of the living room but smaller, and with a king-sized bed in the middle on the far back with clothes and some towels draped along the edge. A telescope stands near the glass walls. Beside it sits two dainty cushioned chairs, and a miniature coffee table. There was a flat screen 32-inch television facing the bed.

You walked near the curtains, slithered your finger between the noticeable gap and took a small peek outside.

You stepped into the insides of the bathroom which was near the size of your room. Everything felt so unfamiliar to you but you bathed everything in and relaxed as soon as the small prickle of the cold shower water hit the soft spots of your body.

You got out of the guest room, feeling fresh from the cold shower. You wore some cropped halter top, heathered trousers and slipped on some fuzzy slippers that were quite big for your size, even though your feet were already big. You quickly assumed it was Bucky's.

"Did you, by any chance, get me some shoes too?" You joked as you approached the kitchen, eyeing the bagels on a big plate on the rectangular island in the center. You hopped on one of the high stools, grabbed one and smeared cream cheese on it. "Just kidding, I love these fuzzy slippers."

Bucky's back was facing you, busy flipping some pancakes on the stove. "You're not wearing that outside. And yes, I do have some but they're mostly Peter's. Don't worry he hasn't used them yet."

"That's alright. We're the same size."

Bucky turned around, a big pan on his right hand. He approached you and flipped a pancake on top of a tower of pancakes on a plate.

"You like the clothes I picked out for you?" He asked and sat down on the high stool.

"Yes, thank you. But seriously, you didn't have to."

"Okay, so let me get this straight... You let me pay for food and alcohol but not clothes?"

You laughed. "It's a different thing! Those were cheap, these," you touched the fabric of your shirt and trousers, "are obviously expensive. They don't have that thrift smell my clothes have. And besides, I need food but not clothes so you paying for my food was a big win for me."

Now, it was his turn to laugh, shoving a piece of pancake into his mouth. "Okay from now on, all I should hear from you when I give you stuff is thank you."

"But... why?"

"Because social convention dictates us to."

"I know, but, why are you giving me stuff?"

"How else am I going to keep you around?" He winked as he continued to chew.

"Bucky." You warned.

"Okay, okay." He chuckled. "The thing to know about me is I love spoiling people — people that I trust and I'm obviously comfortable around you."

Not knowing any other way to answer, you just said: "Oh, well... Thank you."

"And of course, the thing I said before too." He laughed and you threw a bagel at him in response.

You and Bucky enjoyed your little brunch while planning the day ahead of you: go around Fifth Street, and perhaps Broadway, maybe go to the Chelsea market and as Bucky said: "Just go wherever our feet take us!"

Once both of you were done, you headed down White Wolf, with Bucky's Maserati waiting in front. You greeted Howard as you climbed in.

"You know what would be nice?" You started once the car moved forward. "Capturing people's moments in a crowded street." You said, picturing Fifth Street in your head.

"Oh, that's right." Bucky replied. "Here." With his large hand, he handed you a camera. But it wasn't just any camera. It was yours.

"Wait, is this my camera?" You asked, taking it from him. He nodded in response. "Bucky, what the hell, you went through my stuff?"

"Not me. Howard."

"Howard?!"

"Don't worry, miss," Howard spoke, glancing through the rearview mirror where you saw your own reflection, "I didn't take anything else and put everything back in place. I just did what Mr. Barnes told me to do."

"James." You scolded.

"What are you James-ing me for?" He said, leaning against the seat, clearly stifling a laugh. "He's the one who went through your stuff!"

"You are such a child." You rolled your eyes. "You're the one who told him to."

"You heard him, he didn't take anything else."

"Next time you pull something like this, you ought to let me know okay?"

He lifted his eyes to look at you, teeth biting his inner cheek, a smile wanting to reveal itself. "Okay."

You sighed but you also couldn't help but smile at your camera. It had been a long time since you've operated it as you have been so busy in the bar and hadn't had clients for a while now. You closed it immediately, seeing as the battery was just at fifty percent.

You and Bucky got out of the vehicle as soon as Howard reached Fifth street and entered the Lacoste building with no rush. You held your camera close to your chest, the strap feeling a bit heavier on the back of your neck as the hours passed but the weight of pleasure of taking photos of the street from the inside of the glass windows overwhelmed that.

All the stores looked so unfamiliar to you. The stores you usually go to had dimly-lit rooms with low ceilings, and instead of tiled floors and walls, they had chipped to almost rotten wood walls. The smell of new clothes in these designer stores filled your lungs, the bright incandescent lights nearly caused blindness to your eyes, the amount of men and women dressed in suits, stockings, and skirts were nothing you had ever seen before, designer clothes were hanging on racks color-codedly, or by season, or by new and old collection, the eyes of the security guards in each entrance lurked from miles away until you get inside the store, and today, you have seen Bucky's sleek, black credit card get swiped into the little machines a hundred times. He bought some clothes for himself, and Peter, whom he actually promised to.

Bucky even handed you some clothes, told you to put them on and when they did fit you, he immediately went towards the counter.

Feeling as if everything was too much, you refused but all he said was:

"From now on, when I buy you things all you have to say is thank you."

Overpowered, you just nodded and said exactly what he wanted you to say: "Thank you." And as hours passed more shopping bags were in my bags (yes, you insisted to carry what he had bought you, and when he refused, you gave him back his words, a little taste of his own medicine: "From now on, when you buy me things all you have to do is let me carry them.")

"Ah, throwing my words back to me. I see."

As you walked around a whole lot more, side by side, exposed elbows and lonely fingers constantly brushing against each other, you talked about things you both loved. Nothing about Bucky's hotel business, nothing about the bar, just the things in life which made you both happy — photographs, paintings, and everything about art. He saw the world through yours. You were just beginning to see his but the details weren't enough for you. You craved more of what was in his mind and in his life — no, not the business, parties, booze and all that.

But the things that separate him from that world, and the things he grew up with before that.

A lot of questions swarmed in your head, trying to think of ways to ask them but Bucky merely insisted on knowing you. All of you. But just like him, you too had your guards up, especially around your family issues.

Then you reached Chelsea market. You didn't know how but you did. You spotted Bucky's car parked on one street and told you to leave all the things he had bought inside. After saying your goodbye to Howard who, afterwards, drove towards the bumper-to-bumper traffic in Manhattan, you and Bucky headed to wherever your feet you. You were feeling a ton lighter without the shopping bags dragging your hands and you could now freely touch and open your camera.

Bucky, with a Grande Starbucks cup in one hand, looked around with a big smile planted on his face. You walked around, seeing the art district of New York through your lenses. You grabbed Bucky's attention by calling his name and when he turned around, you snapped a shot of him. Eyes wide. Brows furrowed together. Lips in a state of bafflement.

"Hey, delete that!" He protested.

You laughed, turning your body in the opposite direction. "No way! It's a good picture!"

"No, it's not!"

You kept on laughing, mumbling a bunch of "sorry"s and "excuse me"s along the way, the camera still shoved in your face.

Your lens caught a familiar name from afar, printed in neon red: Wanda. You stood there in the middle of the crowd, leaving Bucky to wonder what had happened.

"Let's go there." You said, making your way across the street where it was.

"Where?"

"Just follow me."

Bucky held no questions no more as your feet treaded towards the building of Wanda's studio. Once you reached it, you merely stood meters away from it, looking at the sign.

"Wandavision." You mumbled under your breath then bit your inner cheek afterwards, contemplating if you should go in and say hi but that didn't matter anymore because standing behind the tall glass windows was Wanda herself.

Again, she gave you that oh-so-sweet smile of hers, long red locks cascading down her shoulder as she walked towards the door. You gestured to Bucky to come with you, no questions asked.

"Y/n!" Wanda exclaimed, wrapping her arms around you as you and Bucky entered the building. "Oh, it's so good to see you."

"You too, Wanda."

"And who's this dapper man of yours?"

Beside you, Bucky's body vibrated, a chuckle coming out of his mouth as he offered his hand. "I'm Bucky Barnes. Nice to meet you."

Wanda shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, too." She gave you a knowing smile, taunting you, but you dismissed her assumptions by shaking your head no, and then she pouted.

Wanda led you further down her large, wide studio, giving us a tour.

"I'm quite surprised you came by, Y/n."

"We were just walking around the market and saw your studio." You replied. "Wanda, what you have here is... so beautiful."

"Thank you. I really appreciate that. I've wanted this since I was a little girl. It's always been the dream."

The inside was bright, with fair white walls, floor and ceiling, and smelled of fresh lavender. On one corner, it smelled of fabrics, make-up, and hairspray. Framed photos of Wanda hung on the walls. There was a dressing area on a corner, and a comfortable couch, perhaps, for visitors as well as the models. A mini kitchen stood in the far back. On top of the cute marbled island was a coffee maker, and a mini fridge. There was one room solely for the post-production process, her main office. A giant paper backdrop had taken a huge space on the floor. Around it were different kinds of large lights, tripods, chairs and other expensive equipment for photography.

She had it all. Everything you've pictured yourself having.

Wanda had it all.

"You've come at the right time. There's not much going on today but I have tons of clients coming for the next few days but really, feel free to come by anytime you want."

"I will, thank you."

Howard picked you right up outside Wandavision. The whole ride was filled with uncomfortable silence.

"Your friend's really nice." Bucky said, trying to clear the atmosphere. "She's a bit too chatty for me but she's nice."

"Yeah." You answered, your head pressed against the window. "Really nice."

"Are you okay, doll?"

You hummed. "I am. Just a bit tired s'all."

"Listen, I just have to head to the White Wolf but Howard will drop you by the apartment, okay? The shopping bags are already there but you don't have to worry about them, I'll take care of them as soon as I get back. Just take a rest, okay? Maybe a short nap. I'll grab you dinner on the way. How does that sound?"

Tired to even tell him you didn't need to babied, you just said: "Okay. Thank you, Bucky."

You did as Bucky told you to. You ignored the bags sitting on the couch, placed your camera on your nightstand and took a damn nap. When you woke up, instead of feeling better, you felt sick to your stomach. Your phone lit up, a message from Bucky displayed on the screen:

"Sorry for the delay. I'm currently stuck in traffic. I'll see you in 20."

You sighed and with an empty stomach, and an occupied mind, you put on your jacket, anticipating a cold rush, grabbed your keys to the bar and headed down. You went straight behind the counter, jumped over it and found an unopened vodka.

You drank the vodka, drank all your troubles away and as you sat there on the floor, weeping, the place you worked at felt too much familiar to you. So much so that you began to hate it and to hate the kind of life you had been living. Who were you fucking kidding? No, you didn't like juggling two jobs. It sucked. Even though it had been giving you the ability to pay half of the rent, it still sucked.

This wasn't what you wanted.

A few moments have passed. You were already on your second bottle. There was a sound coming from the back which began to startle you. A certain Steve emerged from his office, a look of concern evident on his face.

"Stevieeee!" You stood up, well, tried to anyway. "You're here!"

"Y/n, what the hell." He took you in his big muscular arms, his one hand carefully yanking the bottle of vodka on your hand and placing it on the counter. "You're drunk. You should go home. Where's Peter?"

"He's away. He left. Wait, why are you here?"

"I just had to take care of some things."

"Is Nat back there with you? It's okay, shh, shh, I know about you too."

"Oh, God. Did she tell you?"

"Puh-lease! You imprinted your scent on her like a werewolf."

He just sighed. "Let's get you to your apartment."

"Don't worry, Stevie, I won't tell. Hey, call Bucky. Grab my phone. It's on my ass." You giggled and then hiccuped. He carefully grabbed your phone from your back pocket, let you enter my password which took forever, and then called Bucky.

"He'll be here in a minute or two." Steve said, sliding your phone back in your pocket. "Let's get you seated, alright?"

He sat you in one of the booths. "I'll get you some water, okay?"

You didn't respond. Your eyes were fixated on the photos on the wall. With your breath rapidly increasing, you stood by your knees, and grabbed as many photos as you could. Steve slid in the booth with you, handing you a glass of water. You took a small sip, avoiding his eyes.

"What happened, y/n?"

You didn't give him an answer to his question and just downed the water. But you did ask him something. "Why'd you buy my photos, Steve? Is it because you pitied me that day?"

"What? No, I truly believe you have amazing photos."

"But what?"

"What?"

"There's always a but. What is it, Steve?"

"But nothing, y/n."

"Liar." You muttered. "You're a liar."

"Look, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I don't need help. I'm not a child!"

"You clearly are, especially when you're behaving like one. You come in here, drink an expensive bottle of whiskey, cry on the floor and ask me a bunch of ridiculous things. It's okay to ask for help sometimes."

"I'll pay for the bottle if that's what you're asking."

"No, I don't care about that. I care about what's going on with you right now because this isn't you, y/n."

"Oh please, you don't. You just pity me! That's why you bought those two photos, that's why you let me put my photos up here in the bar. I'm no good, Steve! I'm no good."

"Y/n — "

Then, a door slammed, a running Bucky coming inside. "Hey, doll. I'm here. Hey, hey, what happened?"

"Let's just go, Bucky." You stood up beside Bucky who held your waist for balance.

"Thank you for calling me." Bucky told Steve.

"Just take her home safely."

"I live right upstairs." You groaned.

"And make sure she doesn't drink anymore or do anything stupid." Steve scolded, his eyes locked on yours.

Bucky held you all the way towards the outside of the bar, and guided you towards the steps that led to the sidewalk. A black limo was on the street. With the windows rolled down, Howard asked, "Is everything alright, Mr. Barnes?"

"Everything's okay, Howie. You can go back now."

"Wait!" You exclaimed, slipping away from Bucky's arms and headed towards the limo. "Howard, take us somewhere."

"Y/n, what are you doing?"

You didn't give him time to wait for an answer as you opened the door and climbed inside the spacious limo. Bucky climbed in, confused.

"Y/n, are you going to tell me what's going on?"

You gave no answer, instead, you gave Howard the address. "450 West 15th Street."

The ride was more silent and shorter. He tried offering you food he had bought but you kindly refused, dreading to get out of the limo. You held on to your photos so tight that marks, scratches and folds were visible even in the dark.

When you reached your destination, you quickly hopped out, with Bucky following you.

"What are we doing back here?"

You were standing in front of Wanda's studio, the red neon lights illuminating on the concrete street, giving a bit of life on this side of New York.

You sat down on the floor, against a big pot of plant, your eyes never leaving the sign. Bucky, still confused, followed suit anyway.

"You know, my parents told me I'd never make it here. The day I left my home to live here, they told me, 'you'll never amount to anything. You'll never have a good life in New York. You'll never make it as a photographer. That's not a real job.' And I told them I will make it that I'll work my ass off, blood, sweat, tears, I'll do anything to prove them wrong. But don't you just hate it when they're right? I left my family, lost my communication to my siblings for this ridiculous dream I've been chasing for years. Everything I've done here feels like nothing."

At this point, you didn't want to hear anything or anyone besides yourself. So you were more than glad to hear nothing from Bucky, and to feel his fingers interlaced with yours.

"Wanda and I met in college; a year younger than me. We shared a love for photography and arts. Then we kind of just lost touch after I graduated. And then I saw her a week ago. She looked so happy and so content and I could feel her pity on me, her eyes, her touch. It was the first time I felt so small and I didn't think I could feel smaller but then we went here. Everything I wanted for myself, the things I pictured myself having and doing... She's living it. She's out there and I'm not. And I really hoped that by now, I've proved my parents wrong but turns out they're right. They were right all along. I don't amount to anything. I'm nothing."

"Wandavision." You laughed bitterly. "Wanda's vision. That right there. That's fucking clever."

"Let's get you home, doll. Please?"

"I want to stay, Bucky."

"We'll talk when we get back. Please, y/n."

You didn't agree to anything but he lifted you up anyway, guiding you towards the limo which was still on the street.

The partition was up. Even though Howard was inside the limo as well, at that moment it was just you and Bucky.

So, you cried, like how the skies cried, in Bucky's arms. You wept for all the unpaid rent and debts, for the menial job that you ended up in, for your failed career as a photographer, for your selfish parents, for your isolation from your college friends, for your insecurities, for your dog that died when you left for college, for your former lover that abused you, for the books you left unread, for all the wrong choices, for all the money you wasted during your college days, for all the toxic people you've ever met, for all the alcohol stains you had to wipe for years, for all the food intake during your peak of stress in school, for the only cherries you tasted, for the drunk sex you've always regretted, for the drunk kiss with Peter you've always regretted, and for the incoming mistake you were about to do.

"Kiss me." You whispered, lifting your head from his chest. "Kiss me, Bucky."

He shook his head no. Your noses touched. "Why not?" Your breaths moved together.

"Because right now, you're a mess." He whispered. "You're very vulnerable and drunk. I can't."

"I'm giving you all the consent I need. Kiss me."

"Not like this, doll."

Instead of going for your dry lips, he placed his lips on your forehead, his mouth and breath lingering. "Not like this."

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snowydaffodils · 3 years

Text

Exhilarating

1741 words | 3rd Person POV

Another short fluff - this time with Seventeen's Josh!

Synopsis: Everything was dull and boring, but when she entered the room, she was like a breath of fresh air.

---

Despite the well designed interior and the fancy vases that decorated the room, it didn't push away the feeling of unfamiliarity and solitude that Joshua had felt since he arrived - or at the very least became aware of his surroundings. He didn't feel the isolation as much when he first came, because his vision (and memory) was blurry. He remembered people talking around him, and he remembered being taken from one place to another, but he didn't remember what they were saying exactly, or where they brought him to. When he came to, they told him he collapsed on pre-recording, and they had to immediately bring him to the hospital.

Joshua sighed. While the room was probably one of the most luxurious ones he'd been in, there was an odd unsettling feeling that disturbed him as he lay there, alone. It didn't help that he was wearing hospital clothes instead of his own and also that he was stuck to an IV drip. Just in between the door and floor, he saw shadows that stood tensely beyond his room, and he could guess them as the assigned security for him - just in case one of those sasaengs reached him somehow.

With the window shutters being closed down, it further elongated his feeling of being boxed in, as Vernon would've phrased it. His members were off to another schedule that he later would have to make up for, so nobody would be on the group chat. He would've called his mom to push away the loneliness, but it would have been barely dawn in Los Angeles.

The ceiling, once a comfortable target to place his sights on, slowly grew dull and boring, so he moved to lay sideways instead, facing the door. It was then when he heard noises and steps coming towards his direction, and the shadows under the door moved around for the first time.

His eyes perked up to see who was coming, hoping it would be his manager, or one of the members who finished their schedules early and came to see him. Instead of them, a white coat caught his eyes, the person in it fiddling with the notes she was holding as she entered the room.

"Mr. Hong, right?" she smiled, pulling up her glasses as she approached him. "Hong Jisoo."

The way she called him was cheerful and perky, and it brought a different light to enter the room. It suddenly didn't seem so sullen, and for that, Joshua was happy she entered, whoever she may be.

"Yes?" he managed, as he pulled himself up to sit straight and look at her properly.

"Good morning," she cheered, and he noticed that she was looking directly into his eyes. While he was used to direct eye-contact in America, Koreans tend to deem that action impolite, so he didn't really expected it. Even so, he had always thought of eye contact as an important element in communicating - it shows just how much attention you were getting from the other person. Her eyes seemed bright as he returned the contact, and the mere fact that they were looking into each other's eyes played a huge part in lightening up the room.

"Morning," Joshua replied, trying to smile back as politely as he could, despite the heaviness of his head while keeping his body upright.

"Oh, you shouldn't move too much!" she said upon seeing him. "You were running a high fever, on top of that you were dehydrated and overworked, too. Your temperature went down slightly, but you're still in a feverish range," she said quickly, adjusting the small tube that was connected to his arm.

"I feel better, though," Joshua reasoned, giving the girl a small smile to support his subjective argument. She puffed and blew the little bangs annoying her eyes away and placed her hands on her hips.

"Better doesn't equal good enough," she said, the look in her eyes clearly opposing his attempts to be let go. "Besides, take this opportunity to actually rest, okay? Its a big fancy room with fancy lighting, a TV and good speakers, and we'll get you food in a moment. You can't argue that this is not heaven," she rambled, pointing at his surroundings.

Joshua laughed, he had never met a doctor like this one. "You have a point," he said. "But, do you think you can move me to another room? Preferably with people?"

She blinked. "You want to switch rooms?"

Joshua looked around, there was a nurse standing right behind this doctor girl, and his security guard had stepped inside since the girl entered. They all looked at him weird and obviously against the idea, so he just nodded timidly and sighed.

"Its just that," the girl waited for his response patiently, her hands back on her the edge of his bed and the other on her notes. Joshua continued, unsure of himself as well. "It gets too quiet, and uh, silence gets pretty uncomfortable for me."

She gave him one look and spared a few seconds for her thoughts before she returned him with a reply. "Well, your manager told me its best you're not even seen by anyone at all, for your safety."

Of course he did. Joshua didn't doubt that, and he understood those orders completely, so he just nodded, accepting defeat. Worth a try though.

But she wasn't quite finished. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, checked her screen for a while before coming back to him. "I can stay with you and chat if it helps," she grinned. "People call me a chatterbox, so why not put it to good use, right?"

"Are you not busy?" Joshua asked, pretty set aback by her suggestion, but was not against it.

She shook her head, swaying her bangs left and right before giving him a reassuring smile. "Not if nobody's calling for me. You're actually free to go after this drip," she points at the hanging liquid with the notes on her hand, "All you have to do is wait for your manager to pick you up. After all, your fever did go down, and we'll give you acetaminophens to take. What you really need is food and rest."

While the rest of the people in the room looked at her weirdly at her offer to be a chatterbox, she paid no mind to it and grabbed herself a chair to sit on by Joshua's bed. Joshua, on the other hand, just nodded numbly, unsure of what kind of reaction he should give, or what words to say. He had no reason to refuse, though, so he said nothing.

"You guys can go," she dismissed the nurses who followed immediately, and the security guard simply eyed her for a few seconds before returning to his post. She was the assigned doctor, after all, he couldn't (and shouldn't) restrict her from her patient.

Once they all left, Joshua blurted the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue. "So, do you stay to chat with all the patients you meet?"

She settled in her seat and gave him an ambiguous smile - one Joshua understood to not be completely genuine, but wasn't fake either. "Just the ones that seem particularly lonely."

"And," Joshua paused, picking his words carefully. "You don't have other lonely patients?"

She chuckled. Pressing her fist on her cheeks, she rephrased his question for him, "You mean why aren't I busy treating other patients?" The question stunned him for a while. He didn't expect her to be that direct, especially to her patient; but to be honest, he didn't mind it one bit.

Usually, when this kind of situation happened - where a conversation turned too straightforward for him to handle, Joshua would've chuckled awkwardly and politely, and just nodded or something to move on from the discomfort. But this time, he didn't know if it was because his head was still revolving, or if it was because he'd spent too much time with Jeonghan, but he didn't take the polite route and just directly returned her question with another one. He simply nodded. "Yeah, sure, if you care to tell?"

The response wasn't one she was used to receiving, so she was a bit flustered at the blunt exchange for a few seconds. "Huh," she huffed, but smiled. "I guess I'm assigned to do the extra stuff. Nobody wants to talk to patients and their guardians if its nothing medical related. Doctors are awkward that way. They prefer to research, write papers, and explore surgeries. And so they pushed me here," she gestured to the room around her. "To the VIP wards."

Before Joshua could take offense into her words, she disclaimed, "Not that you're 'extra stuff', but you must understand that some VIP patients can be," she gave him an awry grin, one that was indicating something negative, as she searched for the right word. She didn't seem to find one, but eventually settled with the description: "Exhilarating," which she worded with a shoulder shrug, indicating that it wasn't the correct word at all.

Joshua just laughed at her antics, wondering if the medical dramas about VIP patients actually happen in real life that she would describe them that way. "Would you say I'm - well - exhilarating, then?"

At this point, her smile was no longer ambiguous. Looking like she was in deep thought, she answered, "You're a different kind of exhilarating." Her dimples further accentuated the honesty in her smile. "I mean, obviously, you're well aware that you have got the looks," she reasoned, not at all embarrassed to compliment him, which was different for a change - but a good different.

"That I do," Joshua grinned. He was an idol, after all, he should be confident in his visuals.

"And you're young - not many VIPs are as young," she continued, still thinking of more answers. "And most people would've reprimanded me for speaking so casually and bluntly to a patient about her work. They'd say I was rude."

Joshua snickered. "Should I, then? Reprimand you, I mean?"

Her eyes rounded at his statement, and then she suddenly clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "I would reaaally, reaaaally appreciate it if you don't."

He laughed. This girl is really something.

"What was your name, again? Can I call you by name?" Joshua asked, visibly more comfortable.

And she returned him with another ambiguous smile.

---

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northwestofinsanity · 3 years

Note

Pardon the intrusion I know it is not my business but I can't help but giving my opinion when I comea to Cozy. And let me tell you your Cozy-point of view is really accurate, I daresay better than mine. I don't really know about Whitesnake but what I know is that Cozy was so disappointed when the band didn't work out when he was in it. After Whitesnake, John went to some "Forcefield" recording sessions and they stuck together for a while but then they parted ways and definitely not in bad terms.. this is the little bit i know about Cozy's whitesnake era. Cozy wanted be notorious on stage and that's true but he didn't want to ruin anyone's spotlight or something, he just wanted to be notorious in the band but not in a mean or egocentric way.

He was a shy humble guy but he was those introvert/extrovert guys who was shy among his friends but at the same time funny and easy to get along with. The humble part comes from that he encouraged everyone and is that so that Jack Bruce wrote a song for Cozy, Brian May did the Tribute Concert, Roger Glover's album credits and so on.

I think he was so nice with people and fans but I also think he was as hard as a rock when it came to his feelings (I think he was fragile so he hid it by being a tough guy), very stubborn and with an acid humor... just like Rory Gallagher said 'I ain't no saint'.

It's interesting you pointed out the Michael Schenker thing because some time ago I read about a engineer who was the night that Cozy decided to leave MSG. Michael and Cozy had such an intense argument where in a moment Cozy just leave the room with some tears in his eyes... so he was a strong person but he had his limits I think.

But the point is that Cozy was a wonderful guy in spite all his things and everyone thinks that Cozy is sort of a egocentric guy. Like glenn Hughes said "He was rather egocentric" (I had to admit that I thought that too at first) but that is just a shell for hiding his insecurities....

Again, sorry for this but I was very admired by your answer... ♡

Oh no, don’t apologize for chiming into the discussion! -I enjoy when fandoms really put their thoughts together toward really getting to know the guys we love so much (been missing it in a lot of my other band fandoms for awhile!). I tagged you to the previous ask to let you know this was going around in case you did want to add thoughts -because if anyone here has researched the many sides of Cozy, it’s you!

That is quite interesting to here about how Cozy and John interacted after Whitesnake. I could see, in terms of the fanfic where the original ask/discussion started between @onstrangehighways and I, where while Cozy wants to be known without taking over the spotlight, the same might not have been true for John Sykes. And already being frustrated with Whitesnake’s instability, he might have been able to see that -hence where the reaction he had in the story might have came in. I can see with Cozy’s more encouraging side that he might not have wanted to specifically tell David that John would try to take over the lead -because from what you’ve shown me in your information about Cozy, he wouldn't want to accuse someone of something they might not actually do, and potentially shoot them down from an achievement in the industry as a whole -in or out of a particular group. There are many different aspects of Cozy’s personality, in all honesty, that could explain how he might have acted in the story -all of them fit well, and are interesting to look at how they work with his fictional characterization.

(Also, @justhereforwasp I hope you don’t mind the extensive analysis -and positive reviews of your story here happening where you might not see it. Tagging to make sure you’re aware of it, and so you can add insight about Cozy and/or John if you want.)

It is possible he used toughness and snide behavior as a defense -there are many other examples of this I could think of in the entirety of the classic rock genre. Re: “egocentric”, this can happen a lot too, where someone with a lot of insecurities might be fast to point out what they’re good at, in fear it might not get noticed before their weaknesses they feel very uncomfortable with are found out -and to reassure themselves. Some truly end up becoming egocentric, and some just appear to be that, and those who get to know them find out that's not the case (I study this phenomenon a lot with Reb Beach).

As for the Michael Schenker ending (haven't really studied where Cozy ties in with him), that's interesting to hear. The trouble with Michael is he’s, to use a kind term, a bit of a P-I-double-L. Pete Holmes described Michael by admitting “he doesn't know how to interact” with people, and he can be an asshole, but can also be really sweet when he really gets to know someone. He’s “yelled at [Pete] before”, but Pete doesn't take it personally. (It honestly reminds me of how a former work colleague and now close friend of mine once described a difficult client -he can be sweet, but if enough wrong things line up, he can be whacked!). The thing with Michael -he’s very defensive, unstable with his lapses of sobriety and drugs, and very likely to clap back at someone who might disagree with him... You can see where Cozy’s tougher side would have clashed if enough of the wrong scenarios and enough conflict lined up. And when Michael gets rolling with his verbal attacks, he’s one of those people who will say the kind of harsh stuff, where regardless of whether he really means it, there's *no taking it back*. (Sadly, this topic hits close to home for me over something that was said to my same friend mentioned above). It wouldn't surprise me if he said something as Cozy was leaving that really hurt him deep down -and if any bitterness Cozy might have shown afterward toward Michael was really just hiding the pain his inner sensitive side felt.

#asks #band discussion #band analysis #Cozy Powell #John Sykes #Michael Schenker #longpost #insanitypost

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succulent-little-dudes · 5 years

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I'm a new plant father & these are dumb questions but I don't know who to ask. I have an echeveria purpusorum hybrid & I did research & it said they do best in warm places but I live in a '45° is warm' state. I can't afford a heat lamp or anything will he be okay?? Also, he came in one of those cheap plastic pot type things, am I supposed to repot him? If so, what pots are best? He's around the size of a fist, how big should the pot be? Sorry if these are stupid I don't know what I'm doing

Congratulations, new plant parent!

Don’t worry! These are good questions to ask, and I’ll do my best! Let’s see if I can give you some good answers, yeah?

First things first: Heat! Plants are happiest at the right temperature, maybe, but the only thing to really worry about is if they get to the extreme ranges of temperatures. Too cold and they’ll freeze, too hot and they’ll wilt. Oftentimes, when temperature is mentioned it’s more with regards to those who want to actually plant their boi in the garden, but yeah, probably not a good idea! Keep your plant inside and away from harsh weather and you’ll be alright! You may need to make up for any lack of adequate lighting, though. But this is an easy fix! Check it out!

This LED aquarium light is perfect for plants both in and out of water, is very slim, lightweight, durable, and doesn’t need replacement bulbs. Different plants need different parts of the light spectrum to grow well, but a little bit of the blue spectrum seems to work well for my little guys. (I could probably do with a slightly brighter light, in all honesty) There are a lot of grow lights on the market that have this awful pink/purple color to them and honestly?

U N N E C E S S A R Y (from my own personal experience with succulents)

Other than that, take a look at this guide or others like it. Fluorescent lights are another great choice, as well as compact fluorescent bulbs. Just keep in mind that you’ll need to reach a certain brightness for your plant(s) to stay happy if you’re making up for a lack of light. Since you mention the temperature is a steady NotWarm, I’m guessing there isn’t much light, either.

About repotting!

Guides will always tell you to use a terra cotta pot, and this is definitely the best choice. But often they won’t tell you why terra cotta is the best choice! For succulents, the last thing they want is a bunch of water hanging around in their soil. A terra cotta pot can help leech the water out of their soil if they aren’t drinking it fast enough. But once you get the hang of watering your bois, you can move on to other types of containers--just be sure you’re good on watering!

Repotting isn’t something that always needs to happen right away, but it’s often a really good thing to do, depending on where you got your plant. If it has terrible soil--such as that nasty shredded coconut husk stuff that they sometimes use as a substitute for dirt IT ABSORBS WATER YOU MONSTERS YOU’RE KILLING THE BOIS--then by all means, repot as soon as you can. But make sure the soil is dry first!

There’s a reason! Every time the plant is moved around, there’s usually some root breakage that happens. If the soil is damp, then infection can quickly get into the plant’s roots. This can be very hard to stop once it takes hold, so always make sure the soil is dry before you repot. What I sometimes do is write the date I last watered on a sticky note and stick it to the pot, then wait a while before I check to see if the soil sounds a bit crunchy. If I lightly squeeze the pot and it makes a sort of dry leaf sound, it’s generally okay to repot at that point.

After repotting, let the plant go without water for a little while longer before watering. This lets any damaged roots scar over and repair themselves so they can drink properly again.

I hope this helped! Let me know if you need anything clarified!

#asks #succulents #echeveria #grow lights #repotting #junesqueer

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hoshi-u-love-me · 6 years

Text

Twined and Intertwined

(Ch. 1)

Pairing : BTS × Reader × ?? / ?? × Reader

Genre : Sci-fi, angst

Word count:

Warning : absurdity. Das oll. Oh and reader w female pronoun.

A/N : this is my first time writting again after my hiatus so please be gentle with me. I may be a bitch and ain't no bitch die from criticsm but I'm tired and overworked these past 2 weeks so a little sentiment would be nice.

🍃🍃🌸

"DON'T TAKE HER! PLEASE!"

"LET MY BABY GO! PLEASE, SHE'S NORMAL LIKE THE OTHERS!!"

As rare as it is, no one would be surprised if they heard screams.

It all started 2 years ago. The year a scientist manage to find a genetic development within Generation Zs that helps them cope, manage their emotions, and adapt to environment and situations far quicker and far more effectively.

The discovery lead to more thesis made and more thesis led to more tests conducted in the name of science and being widely known as the person who could produce a new evolution theory.

After finding out about the unique 0.2% that oddly enough were all born between 1990-1999, the UN decided to study them even further so they allow scientists to capture those and study them. And with every single person on the face of the earth being tested, it was not hard for the government to track them.

Today, another girl was taken away from her family.

The way she was captured was animalistic. A sniper with tranquilizer was placed on standby the moment her name moved to the top of the list. She was sedated on the spot. As she fell down the stairs, government personel barged in and took her away just like that.

No matter how loud her parents cried, how hard they tried to follow the speeding van, the unconscious girl was unaware of anything, especially her future.

When she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was white.

White walls on every side, even the ceiling. The room was almost blinding. She sat up on the unfamilliar bed, scanning the unfamilliar room. Every furniture is white, even her clothes and the clothes placed inside the wardrobe on the right side of the door. Unlike everything else, the door is light brown just like the hardwood floor beneath her.

The bed is placed right accross the door, the frames are attached to the wall behind it. The bed looked more like a simple hospital bed rather than the usual bed (Y/N) had in her own room.

After taking in her surrounding, (Y/N) began putting 2 and 2 together and could only sigh as a single tear decider to drip down onto her blanket.

She took the test one and a half year ago, back when she was a mere senior in high school, back when her school was only a 'test to ensure the factuality of the new testing equipment'. She got her result a couple of days later, mailed directly to her. And within the envelope, at the very last page of the 5 pages result explanation, a bright, big, red, rectangular stamp that glared at her viciously : [ ANOMALY ].

Of course, like every other panicked teenager, she hid the result from her parents and said that her result came back and the result is the same as people like her. Which is technically not a lie. In all honesty, she did meant to tell her parents about her result, but she hadn't found the best time to do it.

(Y/N) knew that what happened was innevitable. But deep inside she had hoped that over time, the test result's significance would died down and scientists would've found another discovery that would make them busy enough to forget the whole anomaly thing. But it never happened. In fact, the news blew up and everyone made such great deals about it.

She stayed on her bed for a while, quietly sobbing at how stupid she was for not telling the truth to her parents. Now she won't be able to properly part with her parents. Neither party could bid their goodbyes for God knows how long. As far as she knew, none of the Stem members had actually been returned back home. There was this girl, Cassidy who lived near her and went to the same school with her, was captured earlier this year. Cassidy's parents were so devastated that both of them committed suicide after getting no news about Cassidy for 4 months straight. They had a nice fancy dinner and end the night with a nice glass of rat poison. Yum.

Truth is, no one actually know how the 'research' is done. The government kept the research to themselves more than they kept news about aliens from spreading out.

It appears that (Y/N) had been zoning out long enough to finally adapt to her surroundings and heard voices outside the door.

She knew she'd be living with people within the Stem, but it had never occured to her how many people there might be.

Bracing herself, (Y/N) stepped onto the cold wood floor and slowly reach the door and walk out.

As she walk straight through the bedroom door clad hallway and down the stair at the end of it, she found herself in the presence of 7 guys and a girl. They were lounging in the living room, 4 guys on a big couch, 1 with the girl on a smaller couch, and the other 2 were on their own couches.

"Oh, you're awake" the girl smiled.

(Y/N) smiled a little and nodded.

For some unknown reason her gaze dropped to her feet and tears began to stream down her face and drop to the floor.

"Oh you poor thing" the other girl stood from her position and hugged (Y/N) as she cried on her shoulder.

The unknown girl gently stroke her hair, whispering words of reassurance until one of the guys came to the both of them.

(Y/N) pulled away to look at the guy standing next to her, he had a warm smile but sad eyes. He then pat (Y/N)'s head ever-so-gently with much care before engulfing her in a hug, "it's okay, we're here for you" and with that, came another wave of tears.

It took a while for (Y/N) to calm down, but when she does, the guy led her to the couch and sat her right next to him. He gently let her head lay on his shoulder, despite it being so big, she found it rather comfortable.

"I think an introduction is much needed right now" one guy said, he was sitting accross of them with the previous girl next to him.

"I'm Jongin, I'm 25 and I got admitted to this Stem last year" he said. Despite him smiling kindly, he still look rather intimidating. Perhaps it's his eyes, or his big body that just screams "confidence" all around.

"I'm next!" Another guy exclaimed, he jumped a little in his seat in excitement, "I'm Hoseok! Jung Hoseok! But you can call me J-Hope, most of my friends call me that back home! And I'm also 25 like Jongin! I got here around 7 months ago!" He smiled so big that it was impossible for normal human being to not smile after seeing him smile

The guy next to him raised his right hand as he smiled, his dimple was so deep that it was the first thing noticable when you look at him, "I'm Namjoon, I'm the same age as Hobi and got admitted around the same time as him"

Namjoon then nudged the guy next to him, "what? Oh, my turn," the guy looked rather unbothered, but he was willing to talk, "I'm Yoongi, 26, but I guess you can call me Suga... I was admitted here 6 months ago" his introduction was short and simple, perhaps he's one of those people who talk only if it's necessary.

"I'll go next!" The girl grinned, "I'm Chungha, I'm 23 and I was moved to this stem around 2 months ago" the girl explained.

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, "moved?" She asked. Chungha chuckled at that, "I'll explain it later, after everyone finishes introducing themselves"

"Which means I'll go next" the last one fron the group of 4 guys spoke, smiling happily, letting his lips form a really cute heart shape, "I'm Taehyung, but you can call me V! I'm 24 years old, and if you ever need someone to cheer you up, you can just come to me and we'll do stuffs together!" "Hey, no fair! If I knew you were gonna say that, I would've said that first!" Hoseok whined at the younger guy.

(Y/N) chuckled at them both bickering.

"Hey, come on! I wanna introduce myself too!" The other guy sitting alone protested, stopping the two guys from bickering even more.

"I'm Jungkook, Jeon Jungkook, 22 and I was admitted here last week, so... I'm probably the only person who could relate to you the most right now" he smiled. "Don't trust him, the first time he got here, he was scared of Chungha simply because she's a girl. Jungkook is scared of girls" Yoongi smirked as he said that, making Jungkook blush as he glared at Yoongi.

"And lastly, I'm Seokjin, or Jin for short and I'm 27" (Y/N) craned her neck a little to look at the guy she's currently leaning on, "out of everyone else, I was admitted here the longest, about a year and a half ago? I was one of the first ones to be admitted in the mass admission" he smiled. But behind his smile, lies an uncomfortable sadness that only lingers for a split second before it changed back to his mask.

"What about you?" Jin asked.

(Y/N) shifts her gaze to her palm as she speaks, "I'm (Y/N), I'm 20 years old, and I... I don't know what else to say" she blushed.

Chungha squealed in her seat, "oh my gosh, she's adorable! She's like a little bunny!" That made (Y/N) blush even more to the point it was really visible.

"Anyways, since you're new, perhaps we should explain to you what's going on here..." Jongin started.

"You know about the researcher's thesis about us, the anomalies, right?" He asked, (Y/N) nodded as a simple answer, "so... essentially, what they're trying to do here is split the the said characteristic into a real being through surgery, they basically took something out, I don't know what exactly though..." (Y/N)'s eyes widens in horror. But before she could say anything, Jin had grabbed her hands in his, "no, it's okay! It's not as bad as it sounds! I survived the surgery!" He said.

Without saying anything else, he tugged (Y/N) up onto her feet and guided her to a room on the first floor.

The room was near the glass door leading to the garden at the back. And it's the only room on the first floor other than a bathroom, dining room, and the kitchen.

"Okay," Jin stopped once he got to the door and looked at (Y/N), "what you're about to see is really unnatural but real... I hope you won't get freaked out by it" he bit his lip in anxiety, he was giving both him and the girl time to prepare for her reaction.

Jin then proceed to slowly open the door to reveal what's inside.

"Holy shit..."

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dapperfvck-arc · 7 years

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🔥 The TV show... (Because I really want to know exactly why you don't like it [or hate it?] because i'm so freaking curious. Also I think in general a Constantine TV show would do best on AMC rather than NBC... FEEL FREE TO COMPLETELY RANT. I WANT TO KNOW. Please.)

Unpopular Opinion Time!

Oh boy. Hooooo boy. I’m still going to be relatively gentle, because honestly, I’m saving my true vitriol for the times that I must defend my choice not to RP it or for the hysterical consensus opinion from the fandom that TV show was an improvement over the film (lol nope, aside from Matt Ryan “looking the part” but that’s a whole other can of worms).

Note: Cut for length and maybe a bit of brutality in my honesty.

*sighs* Ok, I’ll first preface this with that I still have like four episodes to go. Obviously, I have massive issues in the needless changes made to the adaption of comic canon. It was unnecessary to make Chas American while retaining the fact that he’s John’s oldest and best of friends. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but who knows. Maybe it’s explained a little better in one of the last few episodes, but you know. My hopes aren’t high. I don’t like Chas’s virtual invulnerability, not just because it takes away the stakes of the danger he’s putting himself in, but also? It’s a plot device scarcely used? So why make that choice if it’s not going to be capitalized on with meaningful frequency? I hated that Zed was portrayed as a novice, and that the teeth were taken out from the Newcastle Incident. Now obviously, I understand why they’d have to alter a bit of it due to Network censorship, but at the same??? I mean child abuse and sexual violence are nothing new on shows like Law and Order: SVU and Criminal minds so…Idek, it kind of comes off as an excuse. It’s not a child’s show. Maybe it could be argued that it was marketed toward teenagers, but it’s not like they’re ignorant to those horrors in the world. I’m not asking them to show Astra’s rape, just to acknowledge the true horror of the situation instead of making it all about John’s failure. So yeah, I was annoyed by the occasional attempt to adapt source material and completely mucking it all up.

Now to begin with, I completely get the SP/N’s fandom bitterness more than ever. Before watching it I thought they were just trying to be like “whaaaat, another show about magic and exorcism? Of course it’s a ripoff because don’t you know our fandom invented those things?” I honestly believe the crux of the issue is that NBC clearly wanted their own SP/N as well as to cash in the popularity of comic book based media, so there’s that. To me, it comes off as a shameless cash grab. I honestly believe if I felt like there was some kind of passion from its creators, I could have dealt with some of those changes, but I don’t get that. It’s been a soulless experience overall. Like it’s not been a matter of me nitpicking like “oh this is wrong, this has been changed, boo hoo, it’s not all existential horror and fucking and drugs.”

Because frankly...I just think it’s a bad show. It’s poorly written, poorly made, poorly researched, poorly acted, it’s just bad. The main issue I have with it is that it’s a lot of telling and not showing. There’s not a lot of tension or foreshadowing, just “boom this is how it is” and so much exposition. John, for example, about half of his dialogue in any given show is verbal exposition. It’s frustrating, tbh. Like, it doesn’t make sense for me in this day and age for a TV show, even on a network channel, to be this bad. Over the past several years, television series have improved exponentially in content and writing. It’s not shameful anymore to start off on TV anymore. We’re in a very exciting time that television and cinema are almost completely on equal par of perceived quality. So yeah, it’s been an even greater disappointment for me because it’s not just that they fuck with the source material but because on top of that it’s literally a bad show. I’m not one bit surprised that it wasn’t renewed because there just...Isn’t enough to like about it. It’s not faithful enough to the comic to secure that base of fans and it’s not good enough to be taken for face value.

The other massive issue I have is the portrayal of magic, which honestly extends to DC’s handling of Hellblazer and John as well. See, what you have to understand is that predominately, throughout the Vertigo series, it’s clear to me that most of its writers either have some awareness of how magic works or at least have done their research. I can follow the logic and ritual in what he’s doing. Let me tell you a little something about magic. It's all about focus and will. You can do and say whatever the hell you want as long as you're putting your intent behind it. The ritual of spell work, use of candles, crystals, incense, chanting, incantations, etc. are meant to be the focus of a magician's energy and will on a particular result, but it could be attempted without as well. To explain it in more fantastical terms, in Harry Potter casting without a wand is considered impressive. This implies that the wizard's focus and will is so strong that they no longer need a wand to draw out their intent. Now I get it. By this understanding magic doesn't make good TV viewing (I guess...), but my main concern with this series is there's no attempt to portray an iota of witchcraft's reality along with the fantastical. Now part of this problem is that they've removed a great deal of John's innate ability. He can no longer see spirits/ghosts and there is no mention to his connection to synchronicity (as far I’ve seen, mind). Instead of happening to end up where he needs to be or what have you, he's following a map, and he uses a lot of artifacts and other implementation to get the job done. Which bothers me on a few levels. For one, it imbues the focus, not the caster with the power, which is not how magic works (at least in the sense of portraying gritty urban fantasy), and for two, it's very much against character. Let me give you an example: In the two part story Newcastle Calling, at the end of it, John hands a dying man a twig, telling him it's the finger bone of St. Cavartigan and that it's known to bring relief to those in need. He tells him to squeeze it tightly and focus on the pain going away. Near the end of the scene, the young man tells John that it's working. A couple things can be taken away from this scene: John's will was that the dying man would believe as he was told and his instructions were rote ritual. By contrast, in the series, John would probably had actually given him a Saint's fingerbone. You see the comparison takes the power of the scene away, as well as the mystery. Is the power of John's suggestion so strong that he could make the guy believe by holding that twig his pain would do away? Or was he so desperate to believe in order to not die in pain? You can interpret it either way. Hell, I could invent other interpretations, but going by what I believe would happen in the show, it can only be interpreted in the most literal sense. Now, to be honest, most television shows portray magic poorly. Even movies do a better job while keeping fantastical elements. The Craft, for all it’s 90s cheese, is a great example of this. So I suppose I could be blamed for getting my hopes up to be dashed because it’s just following the formula of 95% of all TV shows that feature a magical element or theme, but I mean...it’s not like Buffy or Charmed that was working without a script, so to speak. The TV series had a ready made blueprint and still chose to take the mumbo-jumbo bullshit route. Now, I have a lot of theories on the why for this, but that’s another post altogether and this has already gone on for way too long and I still have more to say.

Now, I guess I should, at least briefly, touch on the elephant in the room: Matt Ryan as John. What did I think? Because a lot of people have told me that he’s the shining beacon of this show, even literally admitting that yeah, it’s a poor representation of Hellblazer but that Matt Ryan man, he’s great! The problem that I have is that it’s not a good a show, and so no, I don’t like him in the role. I’m not going to compare him to Keanu because that’s not fair for a number of reasons, and maybe I’m a little biased because I adore Keanu (there’s also that can of worms I mentioned earlier, which is honestly yet another separate post lol). The way John’s written for this show, he’s positively insufferable. He’s not charming at all, which is find the most offensive, because one thing that can be said across all series and iterations of the character is that John is magnetic even despite xyz (he’s dangerous, he can be an asshole, he’s unreliable, etc.). Here he’s just a know-it-all, condescending prick. Now I do think with better writing, in a better representation of John’s character and Hellblazer in general (and maybe with a voice coach or director to discourage that Welshy intonation because yeah, his accent does irritate the shit out of me, but I’ve been very vocal about that before and honestly, at this point, I’ve come to realize that Ryan’s vowels are the least of this show’s problem), I think he has potential to be a fine John. As it stands in the media he’s portrayed John in so far (idk, maybe he was good on Arrow, but I’m talking the TV Series here and the JLD animation, which I’ve admittedly not seen, but I hated the comic so I’m not real likely to give that a chance considering my disposition toward the source material), I’m not entirely sold on him. Like if they tried another TV series for Hellblazer and didn’t cast him in the role, I wouldn’t be upset over it.

I do agree that it probably could have been better on another channel, but here’s the rub, all the blood and gore and sex and loose censorship in the world could not save that show without better writing and direction. It could have been a fine show even on network if it had been crafted with some degree of caring. Let me give you an example off the top of head, namely the handling of the Newcastle incident. It was laid out pretty plainly within a few episodes. Alterations from canon aside, it doesn’t portray the horror of it at all and is one of the show’s many missed opportunities to really play up the scarier, more mysterious elements of John’s backstory. For example, instead of laying it out in a sloppy flashback with a laughable puppet, picture this scene instead: John is having a chat with someone, maybe Zed or Chas or some b-plot character. Something reminds him of the Newcastle incident and he gets a far off look in his eyes. The folly drops away to an eerie silence as the camera comes in tight on John's expression. Filling up the silence is a little girl's scream, then the voices of his friends, perhaps some sounds of violence, an inhuman sound or voice, it all blends together to become a hellish cacophony of sound as John's expression becomes more strained. Then suddenly the other person calling his name snaps him out of his reverie. The screams stop, the folly returns, and the scene appears jarringly normal. John shakes his head, makes a joke, and they move on. Yeah, that kind of scene has been done before, but the reason for that is it’s effective without giving away the whole story. It shows that this is a man haunted by something horrible. It’s also cheap and doesn’t necessitate straining the no doubt thin budget of a TV show that has yet to prove itself worthy of having more money thrown at it.

Honestly, the issues I have with this show are innumerable and I’m just scratching the surface here and laying out my biggest problems. I could nitpick for days, and that’s the reason I’ve stayed mum about my opinions. There are people that follow me and that I write with that really like and care about the show, and I don’t want to make them feel...you know, bad about it or that they can’t talk to me or whatever. You know, if they found it enjoyable more power to them. I just didn’t and that’s maybe on me. By no means am I trying to bash the show here (because lord if I wanted to, I could), but to offer up what was requested, and that’s my undiluted opinions and feelings about the series. Of course I’m sorry that I couldn’t share the joy and that I couldn’t even like it on a similar level that I do the film (as a very solid AU, which people have tried to sell the show as to me, knowing my previous understanding of some of the changes made that deviate strongly from canon. As I said, maybe if it had been better made and written, I could, but as it stands currently, I can’t and unless real changes are made in the future, I’m unlikely to alter my opinion of it).

So yeah that’s it. Apologies that this got so very long, but as you can tell, there’s been a lot that I’ve been holding back.

#idk some bloody punter ( anon )#do you need a light too? ( asks answered )#eyyyy so I got real honest here #probably a little more than I intended #I would not click the read more if you aren't prepared for me to be very frank on my opinions #by no means do I bash it #but I'm not kind to it either #so reader be warned and all that rot #unpopular opinion

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bethofbells · 7 years

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I saw your post about binge listening podcasts. What kind of podcast do you listen to? I love podcasts put I don't know many, can you recommend some? What app do you use? I use Sticher and Soundcloud.

I use iTunes (although most of these are available on other podcast apps like stitcher I believe)

The Moth - live storytelling recorded at moth events (which are hugely popular). People who go to moth events and want to tell a story put their name in a drawing and anyone whose name is drawn gets to tell their story on stage. The producers collect the ones they like for the podcast. Occasionally famous people attend the events. Very Good.

Snap Judgement - story telling with a beat. The host is funny (although I tend to ff through his mini stories at the beginning of each episode bc he’s soooo dramatic) highly produced with a cool score for each story, fascinating stories from all kinds of people.

RIsk! - mostly not safe for work stories, coming from a super diverse bevy of storytellers. It’s kind of like the moth with stories told in stage at live shows, only frequently the stories are filthy (in a good way) usually funny although sometimes heartbreaking. Again, very good.

Invisibilia - it’s an interesting one although there aren’t that many episodes, it’s sort of a (little) sister podcast for This American Life

Serial - well I’m sure you’ve heard of these one. There are two separate seasons so far, each season combing through the most minute details of a legal case making an honest effort to figure out what is the truth. First season is about the Hae Min Lee (Adnan Syed) murder case and the second season is about the Bo Berghdal military desertion case. Fascinating but it’s not one you can listen to half heartedly, they take a lot of focus.

Radiolab - one of my FAVES. Two charming hosts who have been in radio forever (Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich) take recent discoveries in science and dive into them, testing theories and talking to leading researchers with an infectious lilt of joy and amusement. (“La Mancha Screwjob” is a good episode)

This American Life - HIGHLY produced NPR podcast that is basically just a really good radio show. Great episode is “Abdi and the Golden Ticket.”

TED radio hour - various TED talks with connecting themes are compiled into episodes, and expounded upon with further interviews. “Extrasensory” is a great episode.

Ask me another - weekly competitive quiz show, lots of wordplay, fun to play alongWait wait don’t tell me - sort of like a quiz show, with various NPR level comedians (does that make sense?) playing, only the questions mostly have to do with news stories from the past week. Mo Rocca and Alonso Boden used to be on it a lot but I haven’t listened in a while.)

Fresh Air - terry gross interviews people who have books or movies or whatever to promote. She is a veeeeery good interviewer.

Love and Radio - odd stories that leave you feeling like you need to know more, occasionally nsfw. The Living Room is a great introductory episode.

Harmontown - Dan Harmon rants and is funny and tries to learn from his frequent social faux pas… there is an unfortunate amount of impromptu comedy rapping as he progressively gets more drunk throughout the show. It’s in front of a live audience at Meltdown comics (so it’s usually a small crowd of people who frequently attend tapings) and he has two usual cohosts and frequently pulls people from the audience and has real sincere conversations with them. He used to play shadowrun with his cohosts at the end of each episode but I think he’s stopped doing that (I usually just skipped it)

WTF (Marc maron) - Marc is such an engaging interviewer. If I were you I would go through his available podcast list and listen to any that have people you like as guests

You Made It Weird (Pete Holmes) - interview show, frequently with comedians etc. However Pete is VERY into philosophy and eastern religions and anything and everything that could expand the mind. So the conversations often go places that you wouldn’t expect. It’s kind of hit or miss for me sometimes, but there have been a good number of episodes that I’ve enjoyed. Bo Burnham’s episode is very good.

My Favorite Murder - Might as well be called “Beth’s favorite podcast” because it is. Georgia and Karen are sooooo funny and relatable to me. They each pick a murder and tell the other one all about it, without telling each other what the murder is beforehand. They are EXTREMELY sensitive when talking about the victims etc and they do not romanticize murder at all. Occasionally they say things that are unwittingly offensive but almost always apologize in the following episodes. I suggest listening from the beginning. I’m so sad now that I have to wait for episodes to post 😭

Unsolved Murders (radio theater) - kind of cheesy sometimes, the actors are a little campy and the stories sometimes seem too short, but I like to listen to it now and then.

True Crime Garage - two guys sit in a garage and drink beer and talk about crime cases that they have thoroughly researched. It’s kind of a Heart and Head duo, with “The Captain” as the heart and Nic as the head, they compliment each other. The captain occasionally says dumb things but Nic usually reigns him in, and there’s one episode that actually made me a little annoyed with the captain, but he literally took the time to apologize in the next episode and talk about all the emails he got, and he gained a lot of perspective. I respect people who are able to admit when they are wrong.

Criminal - soothing-voiced host talks about various criminal cases from over the years, and not necessarily in the way you would imagine. Shorter episodes. Highly recommend.

The Mortified Podcast - people read their often hilarious childhood journals on stage in front of a lot of other people. Amusing.

Doug Loves Movies (only the episodes Jacob Sirof is NOT on) - live podcast, movie quiz show hosted by Doug Benson, very amusing. I suggest any episodes that have Geoff Tate as a guest.

I was there too - some guy interviews people who had lesser or bit parts in classic movies. Kind of cool.

How did this get made? - three comedians (and sometimes a guest) all watch an awful movie and then walk you through all of the most ridiculous parts of said movie (Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, and Jason Mantzoukas)

Pop Rocket - Comedian Guy Brannum hosts a weekly podcast about pop culture, light listen, Guy is charming and funny)

Pop Culture Happy Hour - not as much of a fan as I used to be (burned out) but Glen Wheldon is one of the panel and he’s one of the funniest people ever and he adores comics and is pithy and scathingly hilarious)

Getting Doug with High (only the live episodes bc the regular ones seem line one loooong commercial for his sponsors, but basically people get high together and hang out)

Honesty I’m looking for interesting true crime podcasts or unique comedy podcasts. I would LOVE to listen to more that have only female hosts (most comedy podcasts are a total boy’s club and it gets REEEEEAL old). I used to love story telling ones but I burnt myself out on them listening to three a week. I need something I can binge, so podcasts that only make a certain number of episodes available at a time are not my cup of tea.

#beth listens to podcasts

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says-the-thief-to-the-piper2 · 6 years

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CARGO CULT SCIENCE by Richard Feynman

Adapted from the Caltech commencement address given in 1974.

During the Middle Ages there were all kinds of crazy ideas, such as that a piece of rhinoceros horn would increase potency. Then a method was discovered for separating the ideas--which was to try one to see if it worked, and if it didn't work, to eliminate it. This method became organized, of course, into science. And it developed very well, so that we are now in the scientific age. It is such a scientific age, in fact that we have difficulty in understanding how witch doctors could ever have existed, when nothing that they proposed ever really worked--or very little of it did. But even today I meet lots of people who sooner or later get me into a conversation about UFOS, or astrology, or some form of mysticism, expanded consciousness, new types of awareness, ESP, and so forth. And I've concluded that it's not a scientific world. Most people believe so many wonderful things that I decided to investigate why they did. And what has been referred to as my curiosity for investigation has landed me in a difficulty where I found so much junk that I'm overwhelmed. First I started out by investigating various ideas of mysticism, and mystic experiences. I went into isolation tanks and got many hours of hallucinations, so I know something about that. Then I went to Esalen, which is a hotbed of this kind of thought (it's a wonderful place; you should go visit there). Then I became overwhelmed. I didn't realize how much there was. At Esalen there are some large baths fed by hot springs situated on a ledge about thirty feet above the ocean. One of my most pleasurable experiences has been to sit in one of those baths and watch the waves crashing onto the rocky shore below, to gaze into the clear blue sky above, and to study a beautiful nude as she quietly appears and settles into the bath with me. One time I sat down in a bath where there was a beautiful girl sitting with a guy who didn't seem to know her. Right away I began thinking, "Gee! How am I gonna get started talking to this beautiful nude babe?" I'm trying to figure out what to say, when the guy says to her, I'm, uh, studying massage. Could I practice on you?" "Sure," she says. They get out of the bath and she lies down on a massage table nearby. I think to myself, "What a nifty line! I can never think of anything like that!" He starts to rub her big toe. "I think I feel it, "he says. "I feel a kind of dent--is that the pituitary?" I blurt out, "You're a helluva long way from the pituitary, man!" They looked at me, horrified--I had blown my cover--and said, "It's reflexology!" I quickly closed my eyes and appeared to be meditating. That's just an example of the kind of things that overwhelm me. I also looked into extrasensory perception and PSI phenomena, and the latest craze there was Uri Geller, a man who is supposed to be able to bend keys by rubbing them with his finger. So I went to his hotel room, on his invitation, to see a demonstration of both mindreading and bending keys. He didn't do any mindreading that succeeded; nobody can read my mind, I guess. And my boy held a key and Geller rubbed it, and nothing happened. Then he told us it works better under water, and so you can picture all of us standing in the bathroom with the water turned on and the key under it, and him rubbing the key with his finger. Nothing happened. So I was unable to investigate that phenomenon. But then I began to think, what else is there that we believe? (And I thought then about the witch doctors, and how easy it would have been to cheek on them by noticing that nothing really worked.) So I found things that even more people believe, such as that we have some knowledge of how to educate. There are big schools of reading methods and mathematics methods, and so forth, but if you notice, you'll see the reading scores keep going down--or hardly going up in spite of the fact that we continually use these same people to improve the methods. There's a witch doctor remedy that doesn't work. It ought to be looked into; how do they know that their method should work? Another example is how to treat criminals. We obviously have made no progress--lots of theory, but no progress-- in decreasing the amount of crime by the method that we use to handle criminals. Yet these things are said to be scientific. We study them. And I think ordinary people with commonsense ideas are intimidated by this pseudoscience. A teacher who has some good idea of how to teach her children to read is forced by the school system to do it some other way--or is even fooled by the school system into thinking that her method is not necessarily a good one. Or a parent of bad boys, after disciplining them in one way or another, feels guilty for the rest of her life because she didn't do "the right thing," according to the experts. So we really ought to look into theories that don't work, and science that isn't science. I think the educational and psychological studies I mentioned are examples of what I would like to call cargo cult science. In the South Seas there is a cargo cult of people. During the war they saw airplanes land with lots of good materials, and they want the same thing to happen now. So they've arranged to imitate things like runways, to put fires along the sides of the runways, to make a wooden hut for a man to sit in, with two wooden pieces on his head like headphones and bars of bamboo sticking out like antennas--he's the controller--and they wait for the airplanes to land. They're doing everything right. The form is perfect. It looks exactly the way it looked before. But it doesn't work. No airplanes land. So I call these things cargo cult science, because they follow all the apparent precepts and forms of scientific investigation, but they're missing something essential, because the planes don't land. Now it behooves me, of course, to tell you what they're missing. But it would be just about as difficult to explain to the South Sea Islanders how they have to arrange things so that they get some wealth in their system. It is not something simple like telling them how to improve the shapes of the earphones. But there is one feature I notice that is generally missing in cargo cult science. That is the idea that we all hope you have learned in studying science in school--we never explicitly say what this is, but just hope that you catch on by all the examples of scientific investigation. It is interesting, therefore, to bring it out now and speak of it explicitly. It's a kind of scientific integrity, a principle of scientific thought that corresponds to a kind of utter honesty--a kind of leaning over backwards. For example, if you're doing an experiment, you should report everything that you think might make it invalid--not only what you think is right about it: other causes that could possibly explain your results; and things you thought of that you've eliminated by some other experiment, and how they worked--to make sure the other fellow can tell they have been eliminated. Details that could throw doubt on your interpretation must be given, if you know them. You must do the best you can--if you know anything at all wrong, or possibly wrong--to explain it. If you make a theory, for example, and advertise it, or put it out, then you must also put down all the facts that disagree with it, as well as those that agree with it. There is also a more subtle problem. When you have put a lot of ideas together to make an elaborate theory, you want to make sure, when explaining what it fits, that those things it fits are not just the things that gave you the idea for the theory; but that the finished theory makes something else come out right, in addition. In summary, the idea is to try to give all of the information to help others to judge the value of your contribution; not just the information that leads to judgment in one particular direction or another. The easiest way to explain this idea is to contrast it, for example, with advertising. Last night I heard that Wesson oil doesn't soak through food. Well, that's true. It's not dishonest; but the thing I'm talking about is not just a matter of not being dishonest, it's a matter of scientific integrity, which is another level. The fact that should be added to that advertising statement is that no oils soak through food, if operated at a certain temperature. If operated at another temperature, they all will-- including Wesson oil. So it's the implication which has been conveyed, not the fact, which is true, and the difference is what we have to deal with. We've learned from experience that the truth will come out. Other experimenters will repeat your experiment and find out whether you were wrong or right. Nature's phenomena will agree or they'll disagree with your theory. And, although you may gain some temporary fame and excitement, you will not gain a good reputation as a scientist if you haven't tried to be very careful in this kind of work. And it's this type of integrity, this kind of care not to fool yourself, that is missing to a large extent in much of the research in cargo cult science. A great deal of their difficulty is, of course, the difficulty of the subject and the inapplicability of the scientific method to the subject. Nevertheless it should be remarked that this is not the only difficulty. That's why the planes didn't land--but they don't land. We have learned a lot from experience about how to handle some of the ways we fool ourselves. One example: Millikan measured the charge on an electron by an experiment with falling oil drops, and got an answer which we now know not to be quite right. It's a little bit off, because he had the incorrect value for the viscosity of air. It's interesting to look at the history of measurements of the charge of the electron, after Millikan. If you plot them as a function of time, you find that one is a little bigger than Millikan's, and the next one's a little bit bigger than that, and the next one's a little bit bigger than that, until finally they settle down to a number which is higher. Why didn't they discover that the new number was higher right away? It's a thing that scientists are ashamed of--this history--because it's apparent that people did things like this: When they got a number that was too high above Millikan's, they thought something must be wrong--and they would look for and find a reason why something might be wrong. When they got a number closer to Millikan's value they didn't look so hard. And so they eliminated the numbers that were too far off, and did other things like that. We've learned those tricks nowadays, and now we don't have that kind of a disease. But this long history of learning how not to fool ourselves--of having utter scientific integrity--is, I'm sorry to say, something that we haven't specifically included in any particular course that I know of. We just hope you've caught on by osmosis. The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that. After you've not fooled yourself, it's easy not to fool other scientists. You just have to be honest in a conventional way after that. I would like to add something that's not essential to the science, but something I kind of believe, which is that you should not fool the layman when you're talking as a scientist. I am not trying to tell you what to do about cheating on your wife, or fooling your girlfriend, or something like that, when you're not trying to be a scientist, but just trying to be an ordinary human being. We'll leave those problems up to you and your rabbi. I'm talking about a specific, extra type of integrity that is not lying, but bending over backwards to show how you are maybe wrong, that you ought to have when acting as a scientist. And this is our responsibility as scientists, certainly to other scientists, and I think to laymen. For example, I was a little surprised when I was talking to a friend who was going to go on the radio. He does work on cosmology and astronomy, and he wondered how he would explain what the applications of this work were. "Well," I said, "there aren't any." He said, "Yes, but then we won't get support for more research of this kind." I think that's kind of dishonest. If you're representing yourself as a scientist, then you should explain to the layman what you're doing--and if they don't want to support you under those circumstances, then that's their decision. One example of the principle is this: If you've made up your mind to test a theory, or you want to explain some idea, you should always decide to publish it whichever way it comes out. If we only publish results of a certain kind, we can make the argument look good. We must publish both kinds of results. I say that's also important in giving certain types of government advice. Supposing a senator asked you for advice about whether drilling a hole should be done in his state; and you decide it would be better in some other state. If you don't publish such a result, it seems to me you're not giving scientific advice. You're being used. If your answer happens to come out in the direction the government or the politicians like, they can use it as an argument in their favor; if it comes out the other way, they don't publish it at all. That's not giving scientific advice. Other kinds of errors are more characteristic of poor science. When I was at Cornell, I often talked to the people in the psychology department. One of the students told me she wanted to do an experiment that went something like this--it had been found by others that under certain circumstances, X, rats did something, A. She was curious as to whether, if she changed the circumstances to Y, they would still do A. So her proposal was to do the experiment under circumstances Y and see if they still did A. I explained to her that it was necessary first to repeat in her laboratory the experiment of the other person--to do it under condition X to see if she could also get result A, and then change to Y and see if A changed. Then she would know that the real difference was the thing she thought she had under control. She was very delighted with this new idea, and went to her professor. And his reply was, no, you cannot do that, because the experiment has already been done and you would be wasting time. This was in about 1947 or so, and it seems to have been the general policy then to not try to repeat psychological experiments, but only to change the conditions and see what happens. Nowadays there's a certain danger of the same thing happening, even in the famous (?) field of physics. I was shocked to hear of an experiment done at the big accelerator at the National Accelerator Laboratory, where a person used deuterium. In order to compare his heavy hydrogen results to what might happen with light hydrogen" he had to use data from someone else's experiment on light hydrogen, which was done on different apparatus. When asked why, he said it was because he couldn't get time on the program (because there's so little time and it's such expensive apparatus) to do the experiment with light hydrogen on this apparatus because there wouldn't be any new result. And so the men in charge of programs at NAL are so anxious for new results, in order to get more money to keep the thing going for public relations purposes, they are destroying--possibly--the value of the experiments themselves, which is the whole purpose of the thing. It is often hard for the experimenters there to complete their work as their scientific integrity demands. All experiments in psychology are not of this type, however. For example, there have been many experiments running rats through all kinds of mazes, and so on--with little clear result. But in 1937 a man named Young did a very interesting one. He had a long corridor with doors all along one side where the rats came in, and doors along the other side where the food was. He wanted to see if he could train the rats to go in at the third door down from wherever he started them off. No. The rats went immediately to the door where the food had been the time before. The question was, how did the rats know, because the corridor was so beautifully built and so uniform, that this was the same door as before? Obviously there was something about the door that was different from the other doors. So he painted the doors very carefully, arranging the textures on the faces of the doors exactly the same. Still the rats could tell. Then he thought maybe the rats were smelling the food, so he used chemicals to change the smell after each run. Still the rats could tell. Then he realized the rats might be able to tell by seeing the lights and the arrangement in the laboratory like any commonsense person. So he covered the corridor, and still the rats could tell. He finally found that they could tell by the way the floor sounded when they ran over it. And he could only fix that by putting his corridor in sand. So he covered one after another of all possible clues and finally was able to fool the rats so that they had to learn to go in the third door. If he relaxed any of his conditions, the rats could tell. Now, from a scientific standpoint, that is an A-number-one experiment. That is the experiment that makes rat-running experiments sensible, because it uncovers the clues that the rat is really using--not what you think it's using. And that is the experiment that tells exactly what conditions you have to use in order to be careful and control everything in an experiment with rat-running. I looked into the subsequent history of this research. The next experiment, and the one after that, never referred to Mr. Young. They never used any of his criteria of putting the corridor on sand, or being very careful. They just went right on running rats in the same old way, and paid no attention to the great discoveries of Mr. Young, and his papers are not referred to, because he didn't discover anything about the rats. In fact, he discovered all the things you have to do to discover something about rats. But not paying attention to experiments like that is a characteristic of cargo cult science. Another example is the ESP experiments of Mr. Rhine, and other people. As various people have made criticisms--and they themselves have made criticisms of their own experiments--they improve the techniques so that the effects are smaller, and smaller, and smaller until they gradually disappear. All the parapsychologists are looking for some experiment that can be repeated--that you can do again and get the same effect--statistically, even. They run a million rats no, it's people this time they do a lot of things and get a certain statistical effect. Next time they try it they don't get it any more. And now you find a man saying that it is an irrelevant demand to expect a repeatable experiment. This is science? This man also speaks about a new institution, in a talk in which he was resigning as Director of the Institute of Parapsychology. And, in telling people what to do next, he says that one of the things they have to do is be sure they only train students who have shown their ability to get PSI results to an acceptable extent-- not to waste their time on those ambitious and interested students who get only chance results. It is very dangerous to have such a policy in teaching--to teach students only how to get certain results, rather than how to do an experiment with scientific integrity. So I have just one wish for you--the good luck to be somewhere where you are free to maintain the kind of integrity I have described, and where you do not feel forced by a need to maintain your position in the organization, or financial support, or so on, to lose your integrity. May you have that freedom.

Return to Donald Simanek’s home page.

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