#it’s a very good thing the deadline kept being pushed back because I literally just finished this today 💀

[obikinetic]

Star Wars: The Sub Awakens

Aka, Anakin has a very ill-timed ~realization~

This is my contribution for Sub Anakin Fest [@anakinfest], which I actually didn’t sign up for but decided to butt in on anyway! As such, this doesn’t correspond to any prompts :)

#subanakinfest #star wars #obikin #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #sw fanart #fanart #art #please please tell me if I went about this the wrong way because I have no idea what I’m doing #it’s a very good thing the deadline kept being pushed back because I literally just finished this today 💀 #I am HORRIBLE #anyway I’m glad I got it done because I really wanted to participate #ik this is barely subby but it was fun to me at least!

[new-sandrafilter]

How Timothée Chalamet Channeled The Blockbuster Pressure of Leading Denis Villeneuve’s ‘Dune’ Back Into His Role – Venice Q&A

DEADLINE: In a few days Dune will premiere at the Venice Film Festival. You first met Denis Villeneuve about the role in May 2018 and started shooting in the early half of 2019. It was always going to be a long journey, but the pandemic stretched it even further. How does it feel to have finally arrived at this moment?

TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET: You know, I like to think that with every film I’ve done, whether it’s Call Me by Your Name or Beautiful Boy, The King, or Little Women, the character you play is almost a piece of your flesh. And that’s always true, but simply from the perspective of how long the shoot for Dune was, and also the arc that Paul Atreides is on, as well as the huge love and almost biblical connection that so many people have for the book and the original film, it really felt… tectonic, if that’s the right word for it. Just getting to this finish line feels like: phew.

And independent of what the film is now, and what it has become, the experience of making it was I was put in such a safe environment, which you can never take for granted as a human, as an actor, but especially when you’re just starting your career, and when this is the first film of this size you’ve ever done.

To get to work with Denis on it, to get to work with someone of his caliber, let alone on a book that he considers the book of his youth and one of the things he has connected to the most… When he would have it in his hands on set, his body language would become that of a fan; of a kid who had fallen in love with the book at home in Montreal. And when all the kids around him were wearing hockey jerseys with their favorite players’ names on the back, this was a kid wearing a jersey that said ‘Spielberg’ on the back.

For it all to come together, especially with the added challenge of the pandemic, it has all combined to make this moment feel especially spicy [laughs].

DEADLINE: The entire ensemble will show up in Venice.

CHALAMET: Right. And I just can’t believe it; Jason Momoa has the number one film on Netflix right now with Sweet Girl, which I just watched. And since we shot, Zendaya has had all this success with Euphoria and Malcolm & Marie. Just to be part of this cast, period, let alone as one of the title characters, it’s really the shit you dream of.

And let me not forget, too—and I know I’ve told you this before—that The Dark Knight was the movie that made me want to act. That movie had a score by Hans Zimmer, and he has done the score for Dune. And it’s almost not what you’d think. It’s totally appropriate and excellent for the movie, but he has somehow managed to do something subversive, in my opinion. It’s a pinch-me moment all over.

DEADLINE: So, take me back to the start. Is it true you had a Google alert set up to track the latest news on this project before you were ever cast?

CHALAMET: Yeah, it’s true [laughs]. Not right away—Legendary had the rights and was developing it—but as soon as Denis got involved, I set up a Google alert and that’s when I got the book.

In total honesty, I think my understanding of Dune at that point was from a graphic novel I’d seen at Midtown Comics when I was shopping for Yu-Gi-Oh! cards when I was about 10. The year you and I first met, when I was there at Deadline Contenders with Call Me by Your Name, that would have been 2017 or early 2018, and Denis was there with Blade Runner. I remember I was trying to put myself in front of him as much as possible and set up a meeting with him. We had a night at the BAFTA where one of my good friends, Stéphane Bak—who’s also an actor—saw Denis across the room and was like, “Hey buddy, he’s right over there.” So, we went over to talk to him. I kept trying to put myself in front of him, but I didn’t really get a sense of the possibility [of working with him].

I was about halfway through the book when I got the call that he was going to be the president of the jury at the Cannes Film Festival, and I was in London prepping The King. He asked me if I could come out there, so I quickly busted through the second half of the book as best I could. So, like, the first half of my copy is properly annotated and full of my thoughts, and then the second half I just raced through. And then I had that meeting with him, and it was such a joy.

I’m struggling with this even now, as I’m working with Paul King [on Wonka], because he’s another guy I have huge respect and admiration for, and it’s hard to feel on a level. Not that you ever are, because as an actor you’re a cog in the machine, and you’ve got to be humble to the vision of the director. But with Denis, he was pacing around the room, throwing ideas around, in some fancy suite in Cannes, and all I could think was that a year before I was just sat on a stoop on 9th Street in the East Village or something.

DEADLINE: Was that your first time in Cannes?

CHALAMET: Yeah. Well, bizarrely, my sister would do dance camps growing up. Ballet intensive programs in a town called Mougins, which is nearby Cannes, so I spent a lot of time there growing up, but never during the festival, and not on the Riviera. To get to be there for the festival was just nuts. I went to see the Romain Gavras movie, I think, and it was just a huge joy.

I got attached [to the role in Dune] a couple of months after that, and it was nerve-wracking from the announcement, because like I said before, the fans of the book, and the fans of David Lynch version, the computer game, and everything, there’s so much love and strength of feeling. And so much of our pop culture and films and books have been derived from Dune, and all the philosophy the book. I’ve been shocked to learn how many people have a next-level connection to the book. I compare it to how our generation grew up with Harry Potter, and that one makes sense to me. But it’s cool to see with Dune also, when you actually sit down and read it… It’s not that it’s a quote-unquote “hard read” or anything, but it’s not made to be consumed easily, I think that’s fair to say.

So, I was grateful to be working on something of this size not only with Denis Villeneuve leading it, who between Polytechnique, Incendies and Prisoners had nailed the smaller indie film across languages, and then had nailed Arrival and Blade Runner, but who, in his own words, he didn’t feel he’d made his greatest film yet. But also, to be working with this cast. I don’t know if there’s some nightmare version of a film where a young lead is not supported by the rest of his cast, where every one of them had been the leads in their own huge projects. But on this, everyone was there to support, and I think it’s because we all wanted to be foot soldiers for Denis, and I think we understood the potential, based on the script by Eric Roth, Jon Spaihts and Denis, that this could be something really special.

DEADLINE: I don’t have a connection to Dune; this movie is really my first experience of the story. What strikes me is this is clearly an enormous universe—a broad canvas being painted with various families and factions and politics and mythos—but that ultimately it comes down to very elemental, human themes, and we feel them through this character you play, Paul Atreides. Did those themes help ground the experience for you?

CHALAMET: Yes, and I would give the credit entirely to Denis. He would constantly say on set that he had some opposing drumbeat or something. In my diminished intellectual standing, I didn’t understand it, but it was like some vision for the movie based on how biblical the book is that tries to tackle so much that it doesn’t tackle anything. I think he felt the need to be close to a character in it, and Paul is that guy in the book. He’s a character that is still in formation, like a lump of clay, which makes him a great figure for the audience to mirror off.

It speaks, I think, to Denis’ premonition and his directing ability that there were times when we’d move on from a shot or move on from a scene, and I swear, literally, we’d go back because Denis wanted to get something over my shoulder, or push in on my reaction, just to make sure [it stayed on Paul].

And again, it’s something where I’m pinching myself. I had the best time on Interstellar, and that was one of my favorite films I’ve ever worked on, but it was very much something where I was aware of when I had the opportunity to do real acting. And on a movie like Dune, again, one could think it would get lost in the scale and scope. But I felt every day like my plate was full.

DEADLINE: One of those themes is fear, and Paul must overcome his to become the person he needs to be. When you are number one on the call sheet on a project of this scale, and the cast list reads like an address book of Hollywood in the 21st century, and Legendary has injected hundreds of millions of dollars into this production, and it’s all falling on your shoulders, I have to imagine fear is a theme you can readily relate to.

CHALAMET: Oh yeah, and they can bleed into each other for sure—not to diminish the other work that goes in. It’s great when your life experience can inform the role. That’s not at all to say I’m on some crusade in the universe or anything, but definitely… And I had that same good fortune with The King I think. My life is not nearly as significant or as exciting as Paul or Prince Hal, but we all share an unwitting needle in the haystack feeling. On The King that feeling was because I was so new to having a career. On Dune it’s because of, as you say, just feeling the pressure of the hugeness of the project in all those different ways. Those things can absolutely inform each other.

And then there are the moments of glee that come, too, like seeing Jason Momoa running at you at a hundred miles an hour, or just getting to shoot the shit with Josh Brolin, or getting to do a scene with Oscar Isaac. I felt so supported, whether it was Rebecca Fergusson or Charlotte Rampling. When Zendaya came, it was a total breath of fresh air, and she’s one of my favorite parts of the movie. I just got really lucky, and I can’t wait to see them all in Venice.

Denis split the book in half, and the hope is a second movie will get a greenlight. That’d expand Zendaya’s role in the story.

CHALAMET: Definitely, Chani will play a huge role in the next film. I don’t know if there’s a script yet, but just based on the book, along with Lady Jessica [Rebecca Fergusson], they have a lot to do together, let’s put it like that. And Zendaya was incredible in this movie; the moment she pulls the mask down, it felt properly showstopping and powerful. I was hiding behind the camera, counting my lucky starts, because I was there in month two of the shoot and here was a total powerhouse just coming in for the first time.

And as I said before, this was before I’d seen Euphoria and Malcolm & Marie. She’s doing such incredible work and is just trailblazing her own path, and she’s so, so cool. She also happens to be in the most-watched trailer of the moment, too, for Spider-Man: No Way Home. I cannot wait for that movie, and I was there, by the way, with everybody else, clicking through the trailer frame by frame looking for clues [laughs].

#timmy #timothee chalamet #dune movie #dune 2021 #denis villeneuve

[hangovercurse]

Midterm Season

You have exams coming up and Colson isn’t happy about it at all

Request: “you should do one where the person is studying and colson is distracting her very fluffy”

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: As someone who has 3 exams in the next 2 weeks, I could use some of this rn

Word count 1242

masterlist

Colson was very proud of you. He loved that his girlfriend was getting a master’s degree. Every chance he got, he’d talk about you and how smart you were and how hard you worked.

But he also hated every minute of it. Because every moment you were studying or at class or working to pay for class, you weren’t spending with him. He especially hated when exams came around, because you wouldn’t come out of your office for basically a whole week.

And guess what time it was. Midterms. By day 3 Colson was basically dying from touch starvation. You had 2 exams on Friday and another the following Tuesday, so to say you were stressed out was an understatement. And Colson’s whining wasn’t helping your mood.

For the fifth time that day he walked into the room, leaning in the door frame. “How’s it going, babe?”

You didn’t even look up at him, too focused on the textbook in front of you. “It’s going, Cols. Just like it was an hour ago.” You didn’t mean to be short with him, but he was really getting on your nerves. If you didn’t pass these exams, you could end up an entire semester behind, which means you would miss the hiring spree that happened after spring graduation. You couldn’t afford any distractions, but that’s all Colson wanted to be.

You didn’t see his shoulders slump at your words. He walked further into the room, flopping onto the futon that laid behind you and pulling out his phone. “Colson, I can’t entertain you right now.” You sighed, flipping between two textbook pages to try and compare diagrams with text.

He frowned, looking up at you. “I just wanna spend time with you. I know you’re busy but I thought I could at least sit in the same room as you.” He mumbled, trying to remind himself that you weren’t mad at him, just the world.

You didn’t respond, just kept taking notes from your book. Colson would occasionally chuckle at something on his phone, and after the fourth time you wanted to take it from him and throw it across the room. “I can’t focus when you’re in here, Colson.” You sighed, angrily. “Seriously, can you get out? I really need to do well on these tests so I need to study.”

“Babe, I’m literally just sitting here.” You stared at him blankly. “So you’re saying that my presence is bothering you?”

“Your words, not mine.” You sighed, turning back to your notes. A part of your brain knew you were being unreasonable, he wasn’t really doing any harm by being there. He just happened to be the only thing nearby you could take your stress out on.

Colson wanted to get mad at you, tell you that you were being cold. But he also knew that he put you through this whenever he had an album deadline, so he understood. So, he swallowed his pride and walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your neck. “Colson, what are you doing? I just told you I need to focus.”

He pressed a kiss to the side of your head, “I know, but you’ve been studying for almost 72 hours straight. You need a break.” You rolled your eyes, focusing back on your material. Colson sighed when he realized you were just going to ignore him. “Please take a break? For me?” He pleaded, tilting his head to try and find your eyes, but you were still staring at your textbook.

“Let me finish this chapter, then I’ll take a small break.” You were lying, but you thought if you told him that, then he would leave you alone. It didn’t work.

“Nope.” He mumbled, lips pressing into your hair again. “We’re gonna make dinner together and then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist.” You didn’t acknowledge his words, flipping a page.

He grumbled, moving around to stand on the side of the chair and wrapping an arm around your middle. In an instant he picked you up bridal style, much to your dismay. “Colson, stop.” You tried to push him off of you, but he was much stronger than you. He laughed, walking you out to the kitchen. “Colson, this isn’t funny, put me down.”

He finally set you down on the kitchen counter, his arms wrapping around your middle. You pushed his chest, a frown on your face. “You know I have to work, why are you being so fucking needy?”

He tilted his head, a smile on his face, “you’re really cute when you’re mad, you know?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to push him away from you once again. “I don’t do this when you’re working on music, why can’t you just leave me alone for a few hours?” His smile was only making you more upset. “You’re not even taking this seriously, Cols. This is really important to me and its like you don’t even care. I can’t entertain you every goddamn minute.”

His eyebrows furrowed, getting serious. “Babe, I do care that this is important to you, but I care about your health more. I don’t think I’ve seen you ingest anything that isn’t caffeine or pretzels for three days. You won’t take care of yourself, so I have to. And if that means you getting mad at me, so be it.”

You rolled your eyes, shoulders slumping. “I can take care of myself later. But there won’t be a me to take care of if I don’t pass these classes.”

Colson sighed, hands grabbing yours, “baby, your grades don’t define you. Okay? One bad test isn’t gonna ruin your life. Yeah, it’ll suck, but it’s nothing you can’t overcome.” He kissed your forehead.

You leaned your head against his chest, letting out a defeated sigh. “I just really want to get a good job and I won’t get a good job if I don’t graduate on time. And I won’t graduate on time if I don’t pass these classes and I won’t pass these classes if I don’t study.”

He nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. “Y/N Y/L/N, you are the smartest person I know. Just being in grad school is an accomplishment. On top of that you are an amazing girlfriend, an amazing pseudo-mom, and the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Any employer would be lucky to have you.” Colson tilted your head up with his hand, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “But you gotta live long enough to get employed, and that’s not gonna happen if coffee rips a hole in your stomach.”

You nodded, a frown still on your face. “I’m sorry I was being so mean earlier.” You grumbled.

Colson chuckled, backing away from you and towards your cupboards, “I’ll forgive you if you make dinner with me. And come to bed before 3am tonight.”

You sighed, hopping off the counter, “I suppose I could sacrifice one night for you.” You walked over to the stovetop, where he was placing a pot on the burner. You wrapped your arms around him, head resting against his back. “I love you.”

He smiled and turned to face you, wrapping his arms around your waist, and picking you up. You giggled and wrapped your legs around his middle, hands clinging to the back of his neck. He pressed quick pecks all over your face, “I love you too.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff

[domosakis]

[TARO-222] insatiable, pure love!

★ this is inspired by a hentai that was turned into a porn LOL i pretty much just rewrote it the whole first half but then i get bored of it and made it my own story at the end so sorry if its confusing but i spent a lot of time on it so i hope you like it!! ♡

✭ words: 1.9k !! cw: extreme dubcon, borderline noncon, i can't tell who is insane in this story, toxic relationship, assault, public sex, reader is feminized, lmk if i forgot smth omg im so sorry

‘i didn’t really want to do it… at the beginning.’

at least shotaro tells himself that, whether it’s true or not. he took the train home after practice like always but you were there. you looked so cute in your uniform but he couldn’t help but notice how sensual your body made you look. plaid skirt barely reaching the top of your thighs and a thin white blouse that might as well have been made with tissue.

he was addicted as soon as he saw you. he felt the need to go home right away, thoughts of making you scream plaguing his mind. stress, deadlines, the pressure of his academy… he deserved a little happiness right?

suddenly the train stopped and shotaro took the opportunity to dramatically fall towards you, your back against his. his hand pressed against your ass, moving your skirt up showing your panties to anyone who looked your way.

his inner monologue was just a stream of excuses he made to keep touching you. so soft… and even though he knows it’s not right he doesn’t make even an attempt to stop.

‘again… another idiot.’

you wondered how far he would go today, after all you did need to get home and start preparing dinner. you didn’t resist instead letting your mind wander to your daily chores and responsibilities, you just hoped your stop came soon.

suddenly you were yanked out of your thoughts, your body carelessly being tossed into the position he wanted and his hands came to grab at your breasts. he wasn’t gentle at all in the way he handled you but at least he wasn’t being completely rude. you’d let him do what he wanted as long as he stayed quiet. he’s not really hurting me like the others so what’s the worst that could happen?

shotaro let himself get brave, after all you weren’t denying him. if anything you were making it too easy. he let his hand slip under your panties to feel your cunt directly. he only grew more confident when he felt how wet you were.

you didn’t understand why you felt this way, you could say it was your body’s natural reaction but then how did you end up with this stranger in the love hotel down the street?

strange men doing what they wanted to you wasn't what you would call a foreign experience. maybe it was because you didn’t dress all that modestly, maybe it was your body or maybe you were just an easy target. whatever it was you definitely weren’t able to defend yourself from it and you ended up in a lot of rough situations.

this felt different though. okay sure so maybe he still molested you on the train without any communication but… he looked your age, and cute, and he didn’t call you mean names or hit you, and he even took you to this nice hotel instead of taking you against the urinal in a seedy bathroom!

maybe you needed to raise your standards.

whatever. it was too late now, this man (whose name you still didn’t now) had you laid underneath him, playing with your body however he wanted and you got the slight feeling he hadn’t touched anybody else in awhile at least. he took his time massaging your tits and all you could do was writhe beneath him.

“do you feel good?” shotaro asked you once he had your top half completely bare. you didn’t answer and turned your head to the side to avoid his gaze.

“no? your nipples are so hard though…” it was true your body was responding to everything he did but you didn’t want him to know that. still, it didn’t do much to deter him and suddenly his hands reached to pin yours next to your head, his mouth attaching itself to your breast.

you couldn’t help but moan out then, your hips bucking to meet his. your body had never been played with like this before and you needed more. he complimented your body and it made your heart swell in a twisted way.

“fuck. why are you so wet?” he laughed at you but you were distracted by his fingers playing with your clothed clit.

“you’re so cute, i need to see more.” you could barely see only feeling him spread your legs apart and taking off your panties roughly leaving only your skirt bunched around your waist. and before you knew it he was fucking into you.

‘this can’t be bad right?’ shotaro thought. ‘they’re so wet they must be enjoying this’

he could barely hold himself back grabbing onto the skirt around you and using it to fuck his dick into you harder. his thrusts were fast and unrelenting and you tried to say no but nothing comprehensible came out of your mouth.

you could already feel him deep within you and you thought you would cry once he pushed your leg to your chest, taking you sideways.

“no i can’t! i can’t!” you managed to cry out but it didn’t matter anyways, if anything it felt like it made him go harder. he let himself stay deep inside you for a bit, enjoying the way your body twitched around him before flipping you onto your stomach.

he took his time teasing you, rubbing the head of his cock against your cunt until he finally listened to you begging him to stop. you were so far gone at that point only able to focus on the feeling of his cock rubbing against your walls. it was almost painful how fast he rubbed against you but his tip was reaching inside you so well.

you almost felt yourself losing consciousness before he pulled out, cumming across your tits and letting some hit your face. your body wouldn’t stop twitching and you realized you had cum as well, the feeling of your pussy clenching around nothing making you feel outrageously empty.

you expected to open your eyes to an empty room, left alone to clean yourself up and get home. instead you were very surprised to see the same man who had fucked you to the edge on his knees, his hands together begging for forgiveness.

“i’m so sorry! please forgive me!” you could hear him mumbling to himself and you almost felt bad for him.

“i’m so terrible, and i didn’t even use a condom… if you get pregnant… i’m so sorry!”

you had quite literally never been in this situation before and you were afraid the man was about to burst into tears.

“uhm… it doesn’t matter really.” you said before looking away. now shotaro was taken aback so you kept going before he could say anything.

“well it does matter, you shouldn’t assault girls but uhm…” you had no idea how to explain this.

“truthfully it’s really easy for me to be attracted to you, and i’ve gone through a lot worse…” you started going into detail about your past experiences and shotaro was growing increasingly confused and worried about your mental state.

“anyways today felt different, like you didn’t cum inside me! that’s a first and… i even came. i felt like you were gentle.” shotaros mind started to reel at the idea of the things you would let him get away with if you thought that was gentle and even when you’re praising him for doing less then the bare minimum he could only think of worse things. truly terrible.

you kept going.

“i won’t call the police and… i felt really good today.”

shotaro thought he was going to die, he just assaulted you and you were saying these things. he could feel himself getting hard again and before he could stop it he was back on top of you.

you liked it. someone like you was actually attracted to someone like him. he couldn’t pass the chance to take you again. he was going to play with you as much as you let him.

after shotaro had once again taken you how he liked he, once again, went through the five stages of grief begging for your forgiveness. you were too fucked out to comfort him at the point and he quickly left leaving you with fare for the ride home.

he decided to leave the whole incident behind him, citing it as a life lesson learned. (even though he should’ve known that assault was bad without having to do it but, whatever.) he promised himself that he would forget about that kind of thing and focus on dance. that is until he ran into you once again.

you greeted him first, before he could run away and that action alone confused him. you looked so cute just like the first time he saw you, but this time you were in a pink tank top and short denim skirt. equally as irresistible. you guys actually made small talk at first until shotaro couldn’t hold it in.

“what happened last night… would you want to do it again? i’ll be gentle!”

you smiled weakly. “if you say so.”

you gave him a blowjob in a bathroom stall before he took you back to his dorm.

in his defense it was very gentle, he took his time with you leaving hot kisses all over your body. you didn’t know what to do with yourself you’d never had sex like that before. he was sweet and thoughtful and you found yourself wanting to hear his voice and feel him more and more.

you wanted him to feel the same way about you. you wanted him to think about you for more than your body. you wanted him to crave every part of you. you felt yourself get lost in the feelings you were developing for him. you pressed your hands against his chest when he moved to enter you.

"please… i want to make you feel good too.” shotaro just stared at you slightly confused before he responded.

“you make me feel so good baby, i think i’m addicted to you.” it’s possible he said more but that’s all you needed to hear. you reached your arms around him and pressed yourself as close to his body as you could.

at that moment you could start to forget the circumstances in which you met. shotaro was so sweet to you now and he wasn’t mean to you then. would it be too much to hope for a relationship with this man? you could imagine letting him use you whenever he wants keeping him satisfied and he would be kind to you in return.

you wanted to kiss him so bad, you were staring at his lips and he thankfully took the hint grabbing your hair to pull you impossibly closer to him. it made you so happy. having shotaro as your boyfriend so no one else could mess with you. and he makes you feel so good…

shotaro loved the look on your face. you looked absolutely obsessed with him and that’s how he wanted it. he felt so lucky that you accepted him, any guilt that he previously felt was totally gone, now he just wanted to have you near him all the time. have you as his and make sure everyone knew.

you were perfect for him. so responsive and eager to please. you loved everything he gave you and he forgot anything else mattered when he saw you.

at some point he knew this was bad. the way you met and how you got to this point. but you didn’t care so why should he? he’ll take advantage of your past to make sure that you’re thankful for everything he does to you.

#shotaro smut #shotaro imagine #shotaro scenarios #nct smut #nct imagine #nct scenarios #yandere nct #yandere shotaro #nct 2020 #nct #osaki shotaro #kpop smut #kpop imagine #kpop scenarios

[phoebehalliwell]

i don't know if i'm the only one but i've often wondered exactly how hard it was to convince julian mcmahon to stick around for season five. they took his character, a feared powerful half demon and made him into the butt of the joke and the whole joke was basically ha ha look at this lovestruck fool obsessing and suicidal because he's got nothing to live with but can't die. ain't that funny? like how the fuck did the writers sell that to julian is my question

i find the entirety of season five just so goddamn insulting to cole's character. hell the fact that he got possessed by the source and this was treated as him turning evil instead of a shitty situation that got out of hand. like it wasn't bad enough he was villified for something that he wasn't even in control of half the time they couldn't even just vanquish the dude, they dragged it on and ridiculed him. i hate it here

lol. i mean. yeah. i really. like. it's like. like okay we all know cole was a fan favorite right and he & phoebe were really meant to like. be the sex appeal to the show no one else was really filling that role they were charmed's Sexy Couple tm. so like. in a sense i get the notion ab wanting to keep him around. because everyone loves him! he's bad boy! he adds this dangerous edge love balancing on a knife's point stuff like that. so like. that being said. u wanna keep him around. i just like Do Not Get how you opt to keep him around Like That. tbh. as w all things. i am blaming brad kern. i think it all really started to tank s4 (well, with mortal cole, but like) with source cole. that was bad, but i know it was part of the push to have like long form season drama character driven plots conflict between the sisters themselves it just like. sucked ass and balls imo. like i mean the fact they had to do the source as a possession just so they could get demon cole and lover cole,,, i mean it speaks to how stupid it was. the fact that u wanted cole to be a villain So Bad but the only way to do it was like. possession? sign that u should not do that like. like. like. i don't know how we're supposed to feel ab that.

and then. the vanquish. not sticking. i think like. i think they probably had the vague idea that cole having a mortal soul would not be able to be vanquished properly right? like. demons get destroyed into nothingness, but the human part of him lives, so i think they probably knew that was what they were going to do, that's what they sold to jmm and like. we sowed those seeds in the s4 finale w his ghost whispers and materialization. so i think like. they knew they wanted to Not Kill Him because he was such a fan favorite. maybe there was an intention to do a will they won't they variant of phole? and then. of course. there was the whole idea of paige cole, which, as the rumor goes, was meant to kick of in the s5 pilot, but both julian and rose shut it down. but i feel like. assuming that's true (which i 100% do assume that's true absolutely and i'm not endorsing it i don't think it would have been good or well written or whatever but like. 👀. you know?) but yeah. assuming that's true, i feel like that piece really speaks to what their designs for cole were: man meat. he was meant to be their male sex appeal and they weren't going to be picky about the narrative itself as long as he was still kicking.

but like honestly? i mean i shouldn't have to say this it's a given: it's not enough to just put your sexy man in front of a camera and call it a day like imo even a man who is not sexy can be made appealing through the power of the narrative. like, to level with you, i never really ever shipped phole nor found cole attractive at all like ever, but i can see like the fucking support beams you know i can see the infrastructure on which this whole thing can you know take on a life of its own in the earlier seasons because they very consciously put it there!! people shipped it for a reason n not just because they were two people standing next to each other on a tv screen i mean hello almost sinking a dagger in her heart but can't do it sends her away back to her sisters because he can't act out on his evil plan!! that's something!!!! that's so very something and they gave us Nothing they gave us nothing in the later seasons. and still expected it to fly. like. tbh julian was probably just like unwittingly duped like dragged along for the ride s5 which is likely why he was vanquished halfway through because i'd imagine roughly three episode in he went okay! um. what's this? guys? what's this? and then they said cole<3 you know he like knew he had to get the hell outta dodge.

anyways. if i were to resuscitate phole in s5. which like. to level w u. i wouldn’t. because they would need a lot of one-on-one screentime and we already spent so much of s4 splitting up the sisterhood in the name of phole i wouldn’t really want to continue with that per se But. if i were. this ask is getting long it’s under a cut 

something something demon of the week something something realms the point is cole is there when he very much shouldn’t be and like. he and phoebe get knocked into a different plane. so their bodies are fine and at the manor, but their minds are elsewhere and they need to solve whatever it is in order to get back. and we’ll say there’s a fuckin deadline because the girls need the power of three and right now they are sealed off from accessing it. and you know phoebe’s pretty fuckin pissed with cole because you know. he dragged her down to hell and she almost gave birth to the antichrist. actually source’s heir might be fun to keep around in this au idk. the point is phoebe’s pissed at cole and cole’s pissed at phoebe because phoebe’s pissed at him but he literally didn’t have control over himself in that era and he’s not getting the space he needs to justify himself because phoebe keeps stepping over him. but they gotta work together to get out of here. and were kinda doing enemies to lover 2.0 but like now they have History. of course we’ve gotta do a moment where cole has idk done something normal and phoebe’s so riled up that she does something rash and almost dies cole saves her like catches her bridal style or something faces inches apart breathing heavy and there’s a moment. like a we’re back in early s4 moment. which phoebe immediately breaks from and like walls going flying up but just for a moment there we see it it’s obvious: she’s still in love with cole. which then segues into an argument because like. cole wasn’t sure. right? he wasn’t sure if phoebe now just genuinely hated him. but now he knows right he knows better now so why are you acting like this? why are you taking every opportunity to shut me down to shut me out? why are you acting like you hate me when you know that’s not true right that whole thing to phoebe who gets the Classic because i do hate you. i hate you for what you did to me for what you did to my family and i hate you because i loved you so much and you destroyed me and i hate you because no matter how hard i try that love is still there and i know that for a second if i stop hating you i’m going to love you just like before and you can destroy me again and i hate myself because i’d let you because i love you. you know? big speech. big reveal. i have No Idea what piper and paige are up to right now. the point is. after this big confession we get the lull the cards are on the table what the fuck do we do now which is when cole Finally gets to opportunity to say he was actually possessed by the source and manipulated by the seer and the only thing that kept him holding on was his love for her and after she became queen of hell after he saw what the source had done to her he knew it had to end he doesn’t hold it against her for vanquishing him right this is where we exonerate all wrongs we’re just saying anything bad that has happened ever? scrub it. it’s the source’s fault. cole has no resentment against phoebe. he loves her a healthy, normal, non-possessive amount, so much so He Loves Her So Much he let her kill him and like honestly would probably do it again. idk and then they make out or something. and then they’re out of whatever plane they were in by the end of the episode. And Then we get a buddy cop episode with paige and cole where they bond and also sort through everything that happened there. slowly but surely. and then we do a real phole wedding a super small affair in the manor lowkey bc i hated their wedding episode it blowed we give them a good one. wallah <3

#charmed #cole turner #phoebe x cole #💌

[wistfulwatcher]

Hello I saw your tag on that "im 25 and dying post" please tell us how it got better for you. Im 26, still living with parents, currently having a fight with my boyfriend, and i still have a year until I get my bachelors. The comparison to everyone younger than me is killing me.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling, but I hope you can take some solace in the fact that that post has a lot of notes and you are absolutely not alone in feeling the way you do! I can certainly try and share my experience, but unfortunately I think the biggest factor is just time (and like, a buttload of self-reflection).

I moved back home after college and worked full time at an administrative job I was doing during school breaks. I majored in psychology and anthropology in college, and was planning to eventually go into forensic psychology, but wasn't interested in going straight into grad school. So I did that administrative job for about a year, and tried to find something that was a bit more stable and at least semi-related to my field. I did end up finding a new job when I was 23 - stable, semi-related to my field (a psych/research background was required), and decent pay (especially as I was still living at home). Exactly what I needed, since I still wasn't ready to start looking into grad school.

I was doing pretty well, until I started getting comfortable at that job, and then I started getting hit with the "I'm not doing enough," and "I need to look into grad school," and "will I ever find a boyfriend?" (friendly reminder that 23-year-old me thought she was straight, yikes), "how will I afford to move out, I have to save my money and do it soon!", "I'm not doing anything but watching TV, I'm wasting my life," "I'm lonely, but I'm too tired to try and make friends," etc., etc.

But it wasn't constant. I'd have a flurry of those questions and fears, and then days where I was just living life and doing my job and taking care of my dogs, without any of that. And I don't think I felt good or particularly comfortable those days, it was more like I just wasn't actively thinking about it, like when you feel "good" after a physical pain goes away and you're just normal.

Eventually, I started thinking about all of these concerns I had, and the fact that it felt like it was URGENT whenever I thought about them. It felt like I needed to get my shit together immediately. I also started to acknowledge that there was this big sense of guilt around those concerns; I was too old to be living at home, I was too old to be single, I was too old not to be starting a career. I felt like I was wasting my life (cue the guilt), and I realized that part of why I felt like I was wasting it was that I felt like I was missing milestones I wouldn't be able to do at a later time because the older I was past "normal" the more humiliating it would be to try (cue the shame and embarrassment, hard).

I also started to doubt that I wanted to go into forensic psychology. More importantly, I started to seriously doubt that I wanted a "career" at all. My job (as I kept that same semi-related to my field one) was absolutely a job, not a career. And I think this was a huge tipping point for me, because a career had always been a given in my life. I'm passionate about what I'm interested in, so it literally just never occurred to me that I would be content with a job. I also started acknowledging that I had some messed up associations about being content with a job meaning that I was lazy (because the only way to be ambitious is with a career and, more damaging, a lack of ambition is fundamentally bad).

Now, I need to clarify that all of the above occurred over the course of years. I was constantly seeing "friends" (i.e., of the facebook variety) go to grad school, start careers, get married, buy homes, etc. And with all of that alongside the entire mess I've outlined in the above paragraphs, it was really, really, tough. It gets hard to find a foothold in better thinking, I believe, when seeing all of these people (some younger) doing things "right" was really just compounding my guilt and shame. (I feel like it's worth mentioning, too, that I was always "an individual" growing up, march-to-the-beat-of-my-own-drummer, yada yada. I feel like that's worth pointing out for others who may be in the same boat, because I think it can lead to another layer of shame in comparing yourself to those around you - especially if it's a big part of your identity that you DON'T do that, because I think it's inevitable as you get older, and you're looking to reach these milestones that prove you're an adult.)

So, here I am, acknowledging that I feel guilt and shame about what I'm not doing. And suddenly I ask myself my first really important question: Do I want a career? The question hot on its heels is: Do I want to go to grad school? Honestly, my answer is no. There is nothing in me that's excited by the prospect. But what, does that mean I'm just going to work my job for the rest of my life? How is giving up going to make me feel better about Not Doing Enough?

As I'm opening this door (remember, years), three things happen: 1) I realize I'm gay, 2) I watch Dirty 30, 3) I start playing D&D.

First, realizing I'm gay. Woohoo! Not only was this exciting because girls are amazing, but it made me seriously look at myself. Realizing I had spent 25 years assuming one thing about myself that turned out to be completely wrong made me question everything for a while. I started to ask myself, "Do I really like this?" more often, which seems like a really obvious question, but I'm not convinced that it's one people ask themselves consciously all that often. But once I did, I realized how freeing it was to answer, "No," and move on to something I did like.

Second, I watched Dirty 30, the Grace Helbig/Mamrie Hart/Hannah Hart movie. It feels dramatic to say that it changed my life, but the older I get the more I honestly think it did. Mamrie Hart's character is a dental hygienist who is freaking out about turning 30 and feeling very much like that text post I reblogged. But (spoilers), at the end of the movie, she decides that she loves her job (job, not career!) because it's comfortable and she has fun at work, and that it makes her happy. She has other things going on, but the idea that a character in a film is content with her job and choosing to "settle" into her life as-is and she's genuinely happy about it? I honestly can't think of a single other time I've seen that happen on-screen. I still think about that ending very often. And after seeing it, I started to ask myself another question regularly: "Am I happy?" Again, this feels pretty obvious, but I think there is something incredibly empowering about making sure you are happy on a regular basis, instead of just assuming that you're fine until something hurts.

Third, I started playing D&D. This is not a plug for D&D! (Well, maybe a little.) One thing that happened to me when I started to get into the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion mess of my mid-20s was that I got very much into a routine of go to work, come home, sleep, go to work, come home, sleep, be totally brain-dead on the weekend, repeat. I found it very difficult to feel creative because I was just wiped, and as all of my creative outlets (gifs, fanfic) are self-motivated, it was really easy to brush them off. I ended up starting Critical Role (this is also not a plug for CR! well, maybe), and I wanted to give D&D a try myself. (I was VERY lucky - my best friend happened to be listening to the Adventure Zone at the same time I started CR, and she wanted to try to run a game. The stars truly aligned!)

I started playing, then DMing, and found that it was a great fit for my interests. I used to be a theatre kid, and I was getting to act again (something I didn't realize I was missing). I was getting to build and flesh out characters, which is what I love the most about writing fanfic. I was also discovering that I was stretching myself - world building and plot had never been my strong suit, but as a DM it became the majority of my creative effort. It gave me soft deadlines with people I didn't want to let down, and it made me truly social again for the first time since college. Essentially, it was filling in all of the gaps of what I felt lacking in my life. This isn't a D&D plug because it wasn't D&D specifically, but rather a hobby that satisfied what was missing in my life. For example, I didn't realize how isolated I was before D&D until I had regular interactions with friends, and that isolation absolutely made the urgent-guilt-shame-confusion worse.

D&D gave me that final push to realize that I was OK with having a job and being passionate about hobbies instead of trying to fit myself into a career, because I was getting out of that hobby what I had been convinced I would get out of a career. I started to really value that I could punch out and go have fun doing exactly what I wanted to do. (It feels so obvious as I type this, but it took me a long time to get here! Sometimes it really is that simple!)

The above is specific to my job vs. career struggle which may not be in the mix of things you're struggling with. But what I do think is universal/can be your take away, is that sometimes you just have to actively choose to let go of the pressure to be doing things. Which, I know, sounds so much easier than it is (and part of why I think it just takes time/is part of growing older). But I think it's something that can be worked at over time, by checking in with yourself about what you feel, why you feel it, and what you need to make yourself feel better in the present.

It's been 6 years since I started that semi-related job, and I'm still there. I still live with my mom. I'm still single. My circumstances have not changed since 24, but honestly? I'm OK. When I check in with myself about it, I do enjoy living with my mom and our dogs (even though I'm 30 and "real" adults move out). I am happy more often than I'm not (much more, actually!). I have a job that allows me to be done after 8 hours, and I have hobbies I look forward to doing each night (and the energy to do them, most of the time). My weekends are free to play D&D with my friends and laugh until I cry. That is what I've worked out as my definition of what I want life to be right now. You'll notice it includes none of the "milestones" that those younger than me have hit.

As I noted on that text post tag, I still struggle with this. I definitely have days where I think, I'm a mess, I'm not DOING anything. It's hard. But time does help, those days become fewer and farther between.

I know that was probably a hundred times longer than you wanted it to be, but I did want to illustrate just how much of a process it is. It takes time. My summary advice is to check in with yourself often, be honest about what you want and what you need, do not let anyone else define where you "should" be. And if you aren't living life how you want to be, identify what you can do (however small) to make yourself feel like you're getting closer.

#ask #me #personal #i am so sorry this is a novel #i hope that it helps you even a little! #can you believe i can write about myself for 2 hours? embarrassing lmao #long post

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

This Christmas - A Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 7)

Two life long friends. Secretly in love. Home for the holidays. Will they risk everything by telling the other how they feel? Or will they spend another year loving from afar?

Read these first    Prologue   Part 1    Part 2   Part 3    Part 4   Part 5  Part 6

**

“So, how’s the family?” Jeff asked.

Harry sat on his bed, holding his phone in front of him as he chatted with his manager over facetime, “Mum’s good. Gem’s coming up tomorrow, I think.”

“Well, that’s good,” he said. “What’s it like being back home.”

“It’s uh… just what I needed,” he smiled.

And he meant what he said. Being back home and being with you was exactly what he needed.

“What happened,” Jeff asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“You have that look on your face,” he said. “The one where something happened and you’re not telling me.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.

“Except you do,” Jeff said, “Now, tell me.”

Harry rolled his, “Fine, if you must know. I’ve reconnected with an old friend during my time here.”

“A friend, or a friend,” he said.

“The latter,” he sighed, dramatically.

“So, then you’re seeing someone?” He asked.

“Technically, yes,” Harry answered. “We’re taking things slow.”

“Good,” he smiled. “You need someone special in your life.”

“She’s definitely that someone,” Harry whispered.

**

“Wow, you’re making fabulous progress,” your agent said. “I’ll say I was a little worried about you heading home, but it seemed to work some magic.”

“I guess you can say that,” you smiled.

“Have you thought of a title, yet?” She asked.

“Um… no I haven’t,” you sighed.

“Well, we still have time,” she said. “Oh, one more thing before we get off here.”

“Okay,” you said. “What’s up?”

“The producers should have the final cast list by the New Year,” she said.

“Really?” You smiled.

“Yep,” she nodded. “They’re finalizing the screenplay soon and it’ll be sent over for you to look at it.”

“Oh, wow,” you said. “I was expecting that.”

“Hey, when they came to us we told them we wanted as much input as we could have,” she said.

“That’s true,” you said. “I’m really happy with everything so far.”

“Me too,” she said. “So, if everything is okayed soon, filming should start by the spring.”

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” you smiled. “I never thought… I never thought one of my books would be made into a film.”

“Well, you better get used to it, love,” she said. “If this one goes well, then I’m sure your other’s will be made soon after.”

“Thank you again for everything,” you smiled. “I really wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”

“Hey, I’m just your voice. You bring the magic,” she smiled. “I better let you go.”

“Okay, talk to you soon,” you smiled.

**

Later that night, you were getting ready for a Christmas party. You were invited by a friend to meet up at a local pub for a little get together. You told Harry about it and since it was a mutual friend group, he was happy to join you. It has been so long since you’ve done your hair and makeup and worn actual clothes and not just different forms of pajamas.

You went into the house where Harry was waiting. You smiled seeing him dressed in a t- shirt and a pair of trousers with a cardigan over top.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled, helping you into your coat.

“Compared to how I’ve looked the past few days, I believe it,” you joked.

“You always look beautiful,” he said.

“Not possible,” you said. “Everyone has their off days where they look gross.”

“True, but to be you’re always beautiful,” he smiled.

“Yeah, you just haven’t seen me trying to meet a deadline and I’ve literally not showered in like a few days, my hair’s a mess, and my clothes have stains on them because I didn’t bother changing them,” you said.

“That uh… sounds scary,” he winced.

“Ready to run for the hills, yet?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Not even close,” he smirked, opening the door for the two of you to head out to the car.

When you arrived at the pub, most everyone was already there. Harry placed his hand on your lower as you two walked inside. As soon as everyone saw you, they all shouted and rushed over to hug you two.

“The gang's back together!” One of them shouted.

You laughed, shaking your head, even though it was true. It had been ages since everyone had been back home, you were always missing someone, but that night everyone was there and it was just like old times. Throughout the night, you and Harry had gotten separated as you two were talking to different sides of the group.

“Man, Y/N is looking fit,” one of the guys said.

“Yeah, she is,” another said.

Harry sipped his drink as he waited to see where they were going with this.

“I can’t believe you broke it off with her,” one of them added.

“I know, I know,” he sighed. “I fucked up.”

“Wait, you dated Y/N?” Harry asked. “When?”

“You didn’t know?” They said.

“No,” he shook his head.

“Yeah, we dated almost a year, about two years ago,” he said.

“Was it serious?” Harry asked.

“I mean, it was more casual than serious,” he told him.

“Interesting,” Harry said, looking over at you.

“Why don’t you go over there and see if there’s still feelings there. You seemed to be very satisfied when you were with her,” the friend smirked.

“I might,” the guy said. “She looks like she could use some tension release.”

That’s it. Harry had heard enough. He downed the rest of his drink and pushed through the group he was talking to. He was pissed. He wasn’t sure if it was the thought of those guys who were supposedly his friends talking about you like that, or if it was because he was jealous that someone else was not only talking about you, but had been with you like that. Oh and then there was the whole, you failed to tell him you dated one of the guys you grew up with.

“Hey, Harry,” you said.

“We’re leaving,” he said.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “What? Why? We just got here.”

“Yeah, we’ll if we stay here much longer, I can’t promise I won’t shove my fist into someone’s face,” he said. “So, either we leave or I push someone across the pub.”

“Um, excuse me,” you said, pulling him to the other corner of the pub. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Graham were together?” He spat out.

You sighed running your hands over your face, “Because that was over two years ago. I didn’t think it mattered and it’s not like we’ve really been on the topic of discussing our exes.”

“But he’s not just an ex! He’s our friend! Someone I’ve been spending time with!” He snapped.

“Oh you mean someone else you’ve spent time with over the past six years, but couldn’t ever spend time with me!” You snapped.

“Seriously? You’re throwing that back up in my face? We’ve been over this already,” he snarled.

“Because you’re yelling at me because you’re jealous that someone had the fucking balls to ask me out and actually be with me. We both have exes. We both have past relationships. If this is how you’re going to react at the thought of someone else being with me, then fuck you! I might have been in love with you for my entire life, but I didn’t just wait around for you to finally want me. And I know you weren’t waiting around either because all of your past relationships are posted over the fucking internet for the world to see!” You snarled back.

Harry jerked back at your words.

“Yeah, maybe I should have told you about Graham. But you want to get jealous over that because you might occasionally spend time with him and let’s be honest. You’ve never spent any one on one time with him, ever. You’re not that close to him. But for me, all I have to do is google your name and the first thing I’m going to see is everyone you’ve ever been linked to in the past ten years. I’ve had to deal with that for a fucking decade and I’m always going to have to deal with that. But you? You can’t handle my ex just because he happens to be in our childhood friend group? You’re right, you should leave, but I’m staying. I’ll get my own ride back,” you sniffled.

“Y/N, wait,” he said, reaching out for you as you walked past him.

**

A few hours later, you got out of the car and walked the long way around to the tiny house. You honestly don’t know why you stayed after your fight with Harry because you were miserable the rest of the night. It also didn’t help that you kept throwing back shots. You pulled your coat around you tighter as you walked through the backyard. You were exhausted and realized you really needed to pee.

You groaned knowing you would have to go into the house and you seriously debated on just finding a tree somewhere and be done with it. But it was too cold for that, so you snuck yourself inside. You didn’t want to see Harry, not yet. You were still annoyed and upset over what had happened. In a way, you both overreacted, but both of your feelings were valid.

You knew if you found out he hooked up with someone from here, you would probably be just as upset and jealous. But it still didn’t make it right. You got to the bathroom, sneaking inside, and being as quick as possible. Afterwards, you washed your hands, barely turning on the water, and drying them off before heading back outside.

However, you were stopped by the voice of the very person you didn’t want to see at that moment.

“Can we talk?” Harry whispered from his doorway.

“I think we’ve done enough talking for one night,” you mumbled.

“Y/N, please,” he begged. “I don’t want to end the night like this.”

You sighed, “Fine,” you said, pushing yourself into his room.

“Are you drunk?” He asked.

“Hard to tell,” you said, jumping onto his bed. “I had a few shots… some food and some water… so I’m probably like 80% drunk right now.”

“Lovely,” he mumbled.

“Hey, you wanted to talk,” you pointed at him. “I had every intention of still being mad at you.”

“Which you should be because I acted like an asshole,” he said.

“Acceptance is always the first step,” you giggled.

“Bloody hell, you’re a giggly drunk,” he shook head.

“I would love to confirm that, but I don’t have enough experience,” you giggled.

“Maybe we should hold off on this conversation,” he sighed. “You need to sleep this off.”

“Ugh, fine,” you said. “Fucking make up your mind.”

“Where are you going?” He asked, when you started getting up off the bed.

“To my room,” you said.

“You’re not sleeping out there like this,” he said. “You’re sleeping in here.”

You rolled your eyes, “I’m a big girl, Harold,” you said, poking him in the chest.

“You’re a drunk girl and I don’t trust you out there by yourself,” he said. “You’re staying in here. If you don’t want me to sleep in here, fine. I’ll go to the other room.”

“I don’t even have clothes! I’m not sleeping in this outfit,” you whined.

“Then borrow some of mine,” he said, pulling some out of his suitcase.

“Your mood sure has changed,” you mumbled.

“It’s because I realized I overreacted,” he sighed. “You were right. I was jealous and upset because… I don’t want to think or picture you being with someone else. I know you have a past and I’m sorry I let it get to me… I just…”

You groaned, “I don’t feel so good,” you quickly got up from the bed, racing towards the bathroom where you empty all of your stomach contents into the toilet.

Harry sighed, following and sitting down beside you, holding your hair. When you were done, you leaned against the wall, wiping your mouth with the wet washcloth Harry had given you.

“The thing with Graham…” you sighed. “That only happened…”

“Hey, you don’t have to justify yourself,” he said.

“No, I need you to know,” you sighed. “It wasn’t serious with him. It was never serious with anyone. I tried to let myself, but I was never fully into the relationship. The only reason I got with Graham is because he was there…. I knew him… and he didn’t want anything serious either.”

“What do you mean by he was there?” Harry asked.

“I went… I went to one of your shows,” you whispered. “I thought maybe… maybe if you saw me there, you would have to talk to me. I texted Gemma, seeing if she would be there, and she told me she was. She was going to get me backstage and everything to surprise you. But-”

“But what?” He asked.

“You were with her,” you whispered. “Your ex. You seemed so happy and in love. You looked at her the way I always wanted you to look at me. My heart broke into a million pieces because up until then I really thought maybe we had a chance. Even if it had already been a few years since we spoke. So, instead ruining that, I just… left. Gemma tried to stop me, but I kept going. That was when she realized I was in love with you.”

“Gemma knew?” He whispered. “Gemma knew you were there and never said anything to me.”

“I asked her not to,” you told him. “She felt horrible for omitting the truth from you, but I told her it was for the best.”

“Maybe it was,” he admitted. “I don’t know how I would have reacted seeing you there.”

You didn’t respond other than wiping fallen tears from your eyes. Harry scooted over to sit closer to you.

“I wouldn’t get too close,” you mumbled.

“I don’t care,” he whispered, pushing hair out of your face.

“We can’t change our past, right? We can’t go back in time and do things over, but we can do whatever it takes to make sure our present and future are what we want them to be,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” you mumbled.

“And I’m sorry I yelled at you causing you to yell at me,” he whispered.

You laid your head on his shoulder, “I’m sleepy.”

“Then let’s get you back to bed. We can finish this in the morning,” he said.

He got up from where the two of you were sitting on the tiled bathroom floor. He reached down, picking you up like it was nothing, and carried you into his bedroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck, leaning your head against his chest, as he carried you. You placed you on his bed before getting the clothes he had picked out for you and handing them to you.

He turned around while you undressed yourself before pulling his clothes over your body. Once he knew you were finished, he looked down at you.

“Stay in here,” you whispered.

“You sure?” He asked.

You nodded, pulling the blanket down for him to join you.

“Mum’s probably going to kill me in the morning,” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around you. “Or throw a box of condoms at my head.”

You giggled, “Those might come in handy one day if you’re lucky.”

“Is that a promise?” He smirked.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and find out,” you said.

He laughed, shaking his head before planting a kiss on your forehead. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” you whispered back before closing your eyes and falling into a drunken sleep.

**

SORRRY Again for the super late update. I hope to have Part 8 posted tomorrow at an earlier time. :)

#Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles Fanfictions #Harry Styles Fanfics #Harry Styles Fics #Harry Styles Christmas Series

[lunalovvvess]

I JUST mopped

Summary: based off of this ask/answer from @christhebish​ and @himbohargreeves​

Warnings: mentions of blood, cops, guns, and knives

•••

You really didn’t mind being the night shift manager. Really. Sure, the cafe was in a sketchy part of town, and yeah, the odd drunk person threw up on the floor, but you and your crew could handle it.

After all, you handled Rex’s stalker situation, Lisa breaking her water mid-shift, AND the Espresso Machine Fire of ‘17. You could handle a lot, but apparently your mother couldn’t handle going to your cousin’s wedding alone, and insisted you go as her plus one to the wedding. That was in the Appalachian Mountains.

You lost a week of work (thankfully, Rex kept the place running but still), and when you finally trudged back to the cafe, you were just hoping that the floors had been recently mopped. You did not expect to see Rex leaning over the counter, making heart eyes at the guy in the corner booth. You bump shoulders with him in your way past.

“Where’s Kendra?”

Rex finally looks at you.

“Hello to you too. She’s making out with her girlfriend. Don’t worry, she still has like, 10 minutes of her break left. How was the wedding?”

You tie your apron around your waist, double checking to make sure all your stuff was still in the pockets.

“Glad to see things haven’t changed. And the cake was made of fondant.”

Rex scrunches his face as he grabs a spray bottle.

“Gross. And there has been a new change around here.”

You don’t look up from the clipboard in your hands, skimming the supply lists.

“Oh?”

There’s no answer from Rex, but the sound of footsteps approaching the register makes you look up.

The guy from the corner booth is standing at the counter, and he’s, well, you understand Rex’s heart eyes. He also has a nasty looking black eye, but it’s nothing you’ve never seen before. Rex has noticed him by now, and practically skips to take his order.

“What can I get you handsome?”

The guy clears his throat awkwardly.

“Can I, uh, get a coffee?”

You tune out the rest of the conversation, trying to figure out how your crew used a month’s supply of caffeine shots in a week. Did the university have surprise exams again?

You’re pulled out of your thoughts by Kendra’s voice.

“Welcome back. You’ve already seen Rex drooling over the new regular?”

She’s washing her hands as you turn to her.

“Yeah, now mind explaining to me how we’re down a months supply caffeine shots?”

Kendra grins, tightening her apron.

“Okay so remember that robotics contest? Well they suddenly moved their deadline back a week, so we had...”

•••

Things settled back into a routine pretty quickly. You poured coffee, served danishes, kicked out influencers, and generally just tried to make sure the place couldn’t be shut down by the health department. The only addition was the new regular.

Every night, without fail, the guy showed up, usually with a new cut, bruise, or bloodstain, and ordered a coffee. Then, he sat in the corner both, while Rex made lovesick sighs in his direction.

Two days in, you asked him why he didn’t talk to the guy. Rex takes the opportunity to drape himself dramatically over the display case.

“I did! I’ve flirted with him, did the Elle Woods bend n’ snap, I even offered him my number! Do you know what he did?”

You don’t even get to answer before Rex barrels on.

“He didn’t even notice! He told me his phone was broken!”

“And you believed him?”

“Lisa saw him toss a broken phone in the trash in his way in. She didn’t tell me until afterwards and now I’m too embarrassed to face him. Do you think I should transfer to the day shift?”

You roll your eyes, and hand Rex a mop.

“Don’t you dare. If you leave me by myself, I’ll throw away your comic books.”

Rex whines, but he takes the mop.

•••

Thankfully, the crush only lasts another week. Rex gets a glimpse of the new delivery man and has his number three days later.

The regular (no longer new) still comes in, battered and bloodied. But he never got any on the floor so you didn’t mind too much. You were curious, sure, but not enough to be creating theories like Kendra was.

Speaking of Kendra, her break was over 15 minutes ago. You step away from the counter to find her when the regular walks in. Well, limps in.

He looks surprised to see you at the register which is... fair. Usually it’s a fight between Rex and Kendra to take his order. Rex, so he could ogle on the clock, and Kendra, so she could try and confirm whatever theory she’s come up with this week. Thankfully, he doesn’t notice.

You’re staring, specifically at the growing bloodstain on his leg. It’s okay, he’s also staring at you. A beat passes before he clears his throat.

“Can I get a coffee?”

You nod.

“Yeah. That’ll be 3.50.”

He hands you a crumbled up five.

“Keep the change.”

“Thanks.”

Your voice is sarcastic, but his money is genuine, so he gets his coffee and settles himself into his usual booth with a pained grunt.

You, very kindly, ignore it, and go about hunting down your wayward crew member.

•••

You had JUST mopped the floors.

Which is not the best thought to be running through your head during a robbery but there it is. The people holding you and your crew at gunpoint had tracked crud all over the floor. The floor that you literally JUST mopped.

“Eyes on me!”

The gunman in front of you shouts for your attention. You stand in front of your crew, and straighten up. Gently, you move your hand out of Rex’s and untangle Kendra’s hand from your apron ties. They’re scared, and you are too, but this is your place, and you’re not about to let a guy wearing pantyhose over his face tell you what to do.

“Give me all the money in the register!”

You were expecting that, and move towards the register. The guy watches you, but his hands are shaking. His partner is no better, but he still has a gun pointed at your crew.

It’s still early in the shift, so the stack of cash you have for them is... tiny. When you place it on the counter, their jaws drop.

“That’s it?”

You nod.

“Day shift clears out their profits before we get here. This is all we’ve made.”

They don’t like that, and the guy closest to you levels his gun to your face. Your eyes cross trying to look at the barrel.

“Where’s the safe.”

Rex barks out a laugh, but quickly smothers it behind his hands. The gun, and the person holding it, comes closer, pressing against your forehead.

“Why’s he laughing?”

You ignore the cold metal, and focus on keeping the shakes you feel in your hands out of your voice.

“We don’t have a safe.”

You feel the gun press harder against your forehead when the sound of breaking glass draws everyone’s attention.

Before you can see who it was, a knife whizzes past and jabs itself into the arm that’s holding a gun to your forehead. The guy barely has time to scream before another one lands itself in his leg. He drops, and you take the opportunity to duck behind the counter with the rest of your crew.

There’s more screaming, and the sound of punches being thrown, but no gunshots. You peek above the counter, ignoring Kendra’s whispered protests.

A figure in black is grappling with one of two gunmen. The other is yelling and holding his leg... which is bleeding on your floor. Damn it. A grunt draws your attention and you see the person in black take an elbow to the gut. You wince in sympathy.

The other gunmen is attempting to get up now, and you see that your savior(?) has their back turned. You quickly reach for the tip jar, heavy with coins and made of hard plastic , and push it as hard as you can across the counter. Luckily, it rockets across and falls on the gunmen’s head, knocking him out. Even better, it doesn’t break.

The noise catches the attention of the person in black, and when you get a glimpse of his face you have to hold back a yelp. Because you recognize him. You frantically reach behind you and tap your crew.

“Come look, quickly!”

Lisa, the reasonable one, shakes her head and you notice that she’s typing frantically on her phone. Good.

Rex and Kendra squish up beside you, and peek over the counter with caution. Their eyes widen when they see what you’re talking about. There, in a tiny domino mask that does NOTHING to hide his identity, is the regular.

Rex groans, while Kendra cackles (quietly).

“You owe me ten bucks and a frappe!”

You pull them back behind the counter, and Lisa rolls her eyes at the three of you.

“I talked to the owner, and he said that we don’t have health insurance so we should try not to get shot.”

The whoop of a siren interrupts Lisa, and you all groan in unison. There’s the sound of glass crunching, and you peek over the counter and come face to face with the regular. He stares awkwardly, and the police lights shine over his face. You have to stop yourself from asking if he wants his usual. Instead, you smile at him.

“Thanks.”

The regular nods, and looks around. The way he came in now has cops, so you helpfully point to the back entrance.

Lisa taps you to get your attention, and when you look back, he’s gone.

•••

You’re back in business the next day, with plywood over the window and a floor cleaned by the day-shift.

The regular walks in, as usual, and comes up to the register. You’re glad Rex and Kendra took their breaks at the same time, because the regular looks like he’s trying super hard to be casual.

“Can I get a coffee?”

You nod. He pays, gets his coffee, and walks to his normal booth. It’s business as usual, except for the fact that you now know he runs around at night with knives.

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t notice that another person is at the register. They clear their throat and you look up to see them flashing a badge.

“Can I speak to the manager?”

You raise an eyebrow and look down at your name tag that clearly states ‘manager’.

“Speaking. Is this about last night?”

The cop?detective? nods and whips out photo from his pocket.

“We’ve apprehended the suspects but there’s evidence that there was a person of interest on the scene last night.”

You stare at him blankly, until he gives a frustrated huff and practically shoves the photo in your face.

“Have you seen this man?”

You look at the photo. It’s definitely the regular. Rex and Kendra come in while you’re looking, and you turn to them.

“He wants to know if we’ve seen this guy.”

They both look at the photo, and shake their heads. You turn back to him.

“No one’s seen that guy. But we were behind the counter for a bit.”

The man shoved the photo back in his pocket with his badge, red in the face.

“Someone from the station will be in touch.”

He storms out without a glance. Rex and Kendra go to wash their hands and clock back in. You make a cup of coffee, and walk towards the corner booth.

The regular looks up as you get closer. You set the coffee down in front of him.

“I didn’t pay for this.”

Shrugging, you turn to go back to the counter.

“I know. Consider it a thank you.”

You don’t see his reaction, but when you get back to the counter he’s still staring at the coffee in shock.

Heading to the back for your break, you bump shoulders with Rex.

“I told you, the night shift isn’t so bad.”

#diego hargreeves #diego hargreeves/reader #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves/you #diego hargreeves x you #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy fic #i am clawing my way out of hiatus lads

[whathappenedtomyweekend]

It’s Just A Spark Ch. 7 - Maybe Definitely

Hiccup sighed and threw a glance at the clock, mindlessly clicking around in his opened document. 22:35.

He'd been trying to finish up his report for more than half an hour, which was significantly exheeding his usual set time of fifteen minutes.

"You're still here?" a voice behind him intoned and Hiccup turned around to see Snotlout enter the room and place his helmet on the desk next to his.

"Yeah," Hiccup mumbled, feeling the effect of his extra strong tea earlier wear off slowly but surely. "I wanted to finish today's report. Which I did. And then I thought, I still haven't written the report for yesterday."

"Woah, what's up with Mr Too-fast-for-deadlines?" his cousin asked, looking sincerely surprised. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he repeated, dragging a hand through his hair. "Just … busy."

"Ooh, right, your girlfriend."

Hiccup's head shot up, glaring. Snotlout shrugged.

"Gobber told me. Well, technically, your dad told me. But Gobber told him so basically it was him who told me."

"Doesn't anything regarding my personal life stay personal? And she's … she's not my girlfriend."

"You showed up to her workplace with lasagna you made specifically for her because it's her favourite food, Hiccup. That is such a boyfriend-thing to do. Though I guess it's very you. Most people wouldn't bother."

"How did you even-"

"Hey, don't blame me for being your cousin! Things get around, okay? My dad was out getting coffee, saw you, told your dad who told him that-"

"Alright, alright," Hiccup interrupted him, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I get it. Note to self, never tell Dad anything concerning Astrid again if I want it to stay between us."

Snotlout laughed and good-naturedly nudged his cousin's arm.

"Come on, Hic, I don't mean any harm. Neither does he, you know that. He's just excited for you."

Hiccup sighed. "I know."

"I'm too, by the way," Snotlout mumbled. "It's kind of really cool seeing you this happy."

The auburn-hair man stopped and finally smiled at his cousin. "Thanks, Snotlout."

Snotlout sniffed, trying to shake off his earlier sentiment. "Yeah, whatever. Just go to sleep before I knock you out myself."

Hiccup grinned and got up. "You sound just like Gobber."

"Shut up."

He laughed.

The doorbell was ringing, making Astrid jump. She rarely had any visitors at a time like this. Maybe it was just Ruff who had forgot her keys again, needing a place to crash.

She opened the door.

It wasn't Rachel.

Hiccup.

Hiccup, his forest-green eyes dark and his hair messy as if he'd run his hands through it countless of times.

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped and took a step closer.

"Hiccup, what-"

She was silenced by his lips suddenly crashing down on hers. Astrid stumbled back, shock fading as his hands cupped her face, hers suddenly tangled in his hair, pulling him down to her.

They stumbled into her flat, her back hitting the wall of her hallway with a low 'Thud'.

All she felt was his calloused fingers on her skin, leaving invisible imprints, his lips - oh, God - almost desperately pressing to hers.

"What took you so long," she gasped into the kiss and fisted her hands into the material of his shirt, pulling him closer still.

His breath was hot against her skin. He smelled of toothpaste, making her smile against his lips. Hiccup pulled away, frowning shortly.

"I don't," he kissed her again, gently this time. "Know."

Her hands wrapped around his neck as he continued working his lips against hers, chasing sparks down her skin. He was pressing her against the wall, not an inch left between their bodies as she lightly pushed her tongue into his mouth. Hiccup groaned and let his hands wander to her waist. Ever so slowly he brushed her tongue against hers, making her knees weak.

"Hiccup," she gasped against his lips, tightening her grip around his shoulders -

Astrid opened her eyes, her racing heart the only sound in her dark bedroom.

Heat crawled up to her face as she realised what had happened.

"Oh, God," she groaned, hiding her burning face in her hands. "Oh my god …"

It had been a dream. Of course it had been a dream. Hiccup wouldn't just barge in like that and start kissing her, he'd … he'd … oh, what did it matter what he'd do, when she was the one dreaming about it! Not only dream but also enjoy the idea of it …

"God, what is wrong with me?" she mumbled into the emptiness of her room, almost swearing she could have tasted the toothpaste from his mouth.

Alright. So it had been a couple of days since she'd last saw him, so what? So what that she couldn't walk past that café anymore without thinking about Hiccup drenched in sunlight? So what that he'd held her hand on the table and hadn't let go even as his friend had asked for their orders? So what that she hard trouble keeping him out of her mind and found herself craving his company? That didn't say anything.

Astrid sat in darkness and realised that there was no turning back now.

"…shit."

He'd been tired all day and now he was in bed and couldn't sleep. Typical.

Hiccup groaned and turned around to face the wall, careful as to not disturb Toothless who had curled up around his legs - well, leg and a half.

It had been days, and yet he couldn't stop thinking about their visit to the café.

Astrid had introduced herself to Fishlegs as his date - which was true, they were dating.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Snot's words were still ringing in his ears.

'That's a very boyfriend-thing to do.'

They were only dating.

He wanted to be more to her, still. He wanted to keep doing these things simply because it made her smile. He wanted to make her happy.

Hiccup closed his eyes, trying not to think about how he'd give up eating anything else than ice cream for his lunch breaks if it meant he got to see her laugh at him with cream on his chin.

Hiccup awoke by the sound of his phone ringing.

Groggily he reached for it and slurred, "'llo?"

"Hiccup?"

He immediately sobered up and sat up. "Astrid, hi, Astrid, hey … Astrid."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just, uh … just woke up."

He started fumbling for the bottle of water somewhere next to his bed.

Astrid gasped on the other line. "Go back to sleep! I'm sorry-"

"It's okay. Really. I should've gotten up anyway." He smiled.

"Oh, okay. Listen, I was just wondering if - you have time somewhen this week, maybe on Friday?"

It had been three days since he'd last seen her.

He didn't really miss her per se. It's just that he'd sometime like to have company, hers to be specific. He simply didn't like her absence at times. His heart jumped as he realised that this was quite literally the definition of missing someone.

He didn't even pretened to think about it and quickly said, "Yes! Friday. Friday's … yeah."

She chuckled and after a small pause softly said, "I've missed you."

His heart skipped a beat.

"You too," he rasped out. "It's weird to think it's only been a couple of days, huh."

She laughed lightly. "Yeah. I think I set a new record for not setting my stove on fire."

He hummed. "We should celebrate that on Friday."

He imagined her lean in and smirk. "Define 'celebrate'."

"You want the oxford-version or mine?"

Astrid laughed. "Come on."

"Alright, so, I was thinking you, me, non-frozen food …"

"You had me at 'celebrate'. We could cook together."

He grinned and peeled himself out of his covers. "Not sure if I'm willing to take that risk."

"Says the fireman with asthma," she retorted dryly and Hiccup laughed.

"On the other hand, I've missed Toothless too," she grinned audibly. "So I'm coming over."

Hiccup chuckled and quickly strapped his prosthesis back on.

"Okay, so same as last time? Or earlier, if you want."

He could hear her grin. "Someone seems to be keen on spending time with me."

The answer came easy to him in full sincerity as he softly replied, "I am."

She paused. Maybe she'd be blushing. God, she was endearing.

"I'll be earlier then."

Hiccup grinned and strode through his room towards the drawer. "Okay. Any ideas on what we'll make?"

She hummed thoughtfully. "How about something you like?"

'I like you,' he thought but kept his mouth shut, pulling out a fresh pair of socks and screwed his eyes shut at the thought.

"How about sushi?" he managed instead. "It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it and practically impossible to burn."

"Oh, yes! Sushi's great, let's do that. And, um, if you want we could get the ingredients together? You know, so there's no room for any misunderstandings."

Hiccup felt his face heat up. Going Grocery-shopping together. Another thing people who were "just" dating didn't usually do.

"Y-yeah," he croaked. "Let's. I'll, uh. See you on Friday, then."

"Great, see you!" Astrid grinned audibly. "Just don't get into any danger until then."

He chuckled. "I'll be careful. Bye."

She bid her goodbye and hung up, leaving a still slightly flustered Hiccup standing in silence, mismatching socks in his other hand.

He stared down at the screen where her contact was still opened.

He'd taken the picture of her during their second date. She was grinning freely at the camera, her eyes sparkling in the low light of his living room, her freckles looking like faint paint splatters on her fair skin.

His useless heard sped up at the memory.

Slowly he set the phone down, let the socks fall and slumped back onto his bed, fisting his hands in his hair.

She was magnetizing.

And he was utterly, hopelessly captivated by her.

#IJAS #it's just a spark #hiccstrid #fanfic #toothless #modern au #writing #mine #httyd #httyd 2 #romance

[wolfprincesszola]

Discord

Sometimes I wonder why I try to write when I, in fact, have writer’s block. I will never understand, but I’m doing it anyways. Living Tombstone is such a good artist and I recently came back to this song, so have this horribly put together song fic. Enjoy! ————– Summary: Tubbo feels something is wrong and as his presidency continues, he realizes that L’manberg is collapsing on itself.

Trigger Warnings: None

Content Warnings: Swearing, Spoilers

Reference: Discord (Remix) - The Living Tombstone (ft. Eurobeat Brony)

Read it at ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28133694 ————– I'm not a fan of puppeteers But I've a nagging fear Someone else is pulling at the strings

Tubbo never liked manipulation. That was why he chose peace over everything. However, he knew that being a peacemaker was only going to hurt him in the end, which is why he was always looking out for anyone trying to control him.

He was lying awake in his bed when he decided it would do some good to get up. He got out, checking the time. Midnight. Everyone would be sleeping.

Thoughts were spinning through his mind and he just couldn’t get them out. Presidency came with that, he guessed.

He took a walk around L’manberg and the Dream SMP land before stopping by the infamous bench. The one where Tubbo and Tommy usually sat, listening to music.

He sat down, trying to wrap his thoughts. Why was there a part of him that was worried that someone would manipulate him and cause the fall of L’manberg? Presidency held a lot of power and manipulation wasn’t easy to detect. Tubbo could easily-

“Tubbo, what are you doing here?”

Tubbo jumped and looked back to see Technoblade.

“Technoblade?” His fear increased as he backed away from him, “What are you doing here?”

Something terrible is going down Through the entire town Wreaking anarchy and all that it brings

“I couldn’t sleep.” Technoblade admitted. “I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen.”

He sat on the bench, offering the seat to Tubbo.

“You aren’t....you aren’t going to kill me, are you?” Tubbo asked, pulling out his sword.

Technoblade just snorted, “Tubbo, it’s the middle of the night. I have standards. If I was to kill you, it’d have to be flashy and in front of everyone. Otherwise, how would I get clout? And fear?”

Tubbo just relaxed, deciding to sit next to Techno. “What’s this terrible thing that you think is going to happen?”

“I’m not sure.” Techno sighed, “Look, I’m an anarchist and all. I dislike the fact that you guys literally built a government in front of me, literally betraying MY ideals and-”

“I get it, Techno.” Tubbo rolled his eyes, “Get to the point.”

“I have to give you facts for trying to restore L’manberg, despite all that. I’ve decided to try and give up my violent ways..but I know Dream isn’t. Dream’s angry at you guys.”

I can't sit idly No I can't move at all I curse the name The one behind it all

Tubbo felt his stomach churn. That is not at all what he wanted to hear.

“He’s power-hungry, Tubbo. And he’s not going to stop at any costs.”

“We have to do something about it! Techno, you said that-”

“I’m sorry, Tubbo, I can’t help you there. This is your own battle. I have my own to deal with. Just....watch out for my brother. I know he can be a bit....irrational sometimes and I wouldn’t want Tommy to ruin your progress with L’manberg.”

“Thank you, Blade.”

Technoblade just nodded.

Discord, I'm howling at the moon And sleeping in the middle Of a summer afternoon Discord, whatever did we do To make you take our world away?

Tubbo’s blood ran cold as soon as he heard of the obsidian walls surrounding L’manberg. When he realized it was because of Tommy, he knew that it had already happened.

Dream was the most powerful man on the server and Tommy had just given him power over L’manberg. Because of Tommy, Dream could cause the fall of L’manberg and it would be all Tubbo’s fault. Because he couldn’t have chosen a better vice president.

As Tubbo and Dream talked about what to do with Tommy, Tubbo realized something. Tommy was the only thing Dream didn’t have power over. And Tommy had just given Dream an ability to have power over him.

The only thing he could do was try and keep his best friend from hurting the nation even more.

Discord, are we your prey alone? Or are we just a stepping stone For taking back the throne? Discord, we won't take it any more So take your tyranny away

Tubbo felt his blood run cold as Tommy kept saying that he had power over Dream.

Tommy had reassured Tubbo plenty of times, but Tubbo couldn’t help but try to warn Tommy anyways.

He knew that Dream was pissed as Tommy ordered Dream to tear down the walls and he knew that Tommy had messed up when Dream had started to build the walls even higher.

“Tommy, okay, listen, you’ve fucked up this time.” Dream glared at his best friend.

Tubbo stayed quiet, but he gave Tommy a look. He told him not to push Dream and yet he did. Now, the whole nation would pay for it.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don’t give a fuck about Spirit, okay? I don’t give a fuck about anything actually. I care about your disks. I care more about your disks than you do. That’s the only thing I care about in the server, actually. I don’t care about Spirit. Spirit was my horse. Died ages ago. I care about your disks because that’s what gives me power over you, and your friends, and everybody that you care about because you care about your disks more than anyone else here. So if you are not exiled from L’manberg, I will build these walls until they reach the sky. Don’t try and threaten me. I don’t care. I have lost-”

Tommy cut Dream off, trying to test what Dream had said and it had only made Dream even angrier. Tubbo couldn’t stop what was happening. All he could do was watch.

Dream gave Tubbo a deadline of three days to exile Tommy.

I'm fine with changing status quo But not in letting go Now the world is being torn apart A terrible catastrophe Played by a symphony What a terrifying work of art

When Dream left, everyone started to yell at each other. They were ripping each other at the throats.

Tommy saw Tubbo was being quiet and Tommy sighed, “Tubbo, he’s only doing this to get under your skin so you turn on me, alright?”

Tubbo finally decided to speak up because he was tired of trying to keep things nice and neat between him and his best friend. “No, actually, I think you made it very clearly what he’s doing. He’s doing this to get your disks because he wants them.”

“But the reason he’s doing this is because he knows that he-”

“You had one job. You couldn’t do one thing for me. You couldn’t do one. Just one thing and it was for your own good.”

Tubbo was hurt. He thought Tommy, for once, could help him with something. But no. It was always about his disks. Never about the good for L’manberg or for Tubbo. Tommy would see the world burn if it meant that he could have his disks back.

Tubbo sighed, “So you know what? If the roles were reversed, as you said, yeah, yeah you probably wouldn’t exile me. Because I would’ve actually listened to you and done what you said! Maybe have a couple ounces of respect! You’ve messed this up for no one but yourself.”

Tommy just looked away from Tubbo, not facing him.

Then, Tubbo didn’t know what hit him, but he let the anger take over him. “Selfish.”

Tommy stayed silent, but his head whipped towards him.

L’manberg would be torn apart because of their friendship. Even though Dream may have started it, Tubbo had to be the one to seal the deal if he wanted the nation to stay together.

L’manberg was crumbling on itself. A terrifying future without the best friends by each other’s sides.

I can't sit idly No, I can't move at all I curse the name The one behind it all

“I have come to the decision that it would be best for the nation...the most logical thing to do is for Tommy to be exiled.” Tubbo had told everyone.

He saw the shift in everyone’s face as they were in bewilderment. But Tubbo couldn’t let Dream control L’manberg. It was best for the nation if Tommy couldn’t hurt Dream from here.

Dream may have been controlling them, but Tubbo knew that the only way for the nation to survive, Tommy had to go. And there was nothing that anyone could do. Because Dream was the most powerful person on the server.

Discord, I'm howling at the moon And sleeping in the middle Of a summer afternoon Discord, whatever did we do To make you take our world away?

Tubbo missed Tommy. It had been so long since he saw his best friend. But he couldn’t go against Dream. Not at the moment. Not while L’manberg was still just recovering from the last war.

What had Tubbo done though? To deserve the backlash he did for exiling his best friend?

Was he a bad person for wanting to do what was right for the nation? Should he have cared about Tommy more?

Discord, are we your prey alone Or are we just a stepping stone For taking back the throne? Discord, we won't take it any more So take your tyranny away

Tubbo knew he couldn’t visit Tommy. Not when Dream was currently helping L’manberg when they needed it most.

So he stayed away for his nation.

Then, Ghostbur had come to him with a surprise.

“I know you’ve been sad. And you’re having a rough time with yourself right now and you have the idea that you’ve done something wrong. I just want you to know that it’s okay. Tommy will enjoy his vacation, it’s just new to him.”

“It’s just an adjustment.” Tubbo agreed.

“It’s new to him, this whole vacation and it’s one of those things where, you know what they say about a vacation, is where the best part is when you’re coming home and getting back to your old house. So the longer that he’s out, the more adjusted he gets to his new vacation home and the better it’ll be when he comes home.”

“You’re looking out for him.” Tubbo had stated.

Ghostbur had nodded. “I know you and him...you know, you’ve got each other, always. So I wanted to make sure that even when you’re distant, you two still know where each other are, so I got you this.”

He had given Tubbo a compass. One that Tubbo appreciated and soon would hold it close to him all the time. That way, Tubbo always knew where Tommy was.

Tubbo missed Tommy, and he knew that Dream was manipulating him. He just...couldn’t do anything about it. He was powerless if he wanted L’manberg to continue to survive.

Discord, I'm howling at the moon And sleeping in the middle Of a summer afternoon Discord, whatever did we do To make you take our world away?

It was apparent that the country was tearing itself from the inside the moment that the Butcher Army had went to hunt down Technoblade.

When Tubbo had arrived with the other three members, he noticed Technoblade had been ready for him. When Technoblade had surrendered, Tubbo knew that Quackity had gone too far, but it was too late.

When Quackity had whispered in his ear to just execute Technoblade, Tubbo couldn’t help but feel compelled. After all, Quackity was part of his cabinet. Why would he betray Tubbo?

So Tubbo did what Quackity said. If Tubbo had seen through Quackity’s manipulation, he gave no notice to it.

L’manberg was destined to fall.

Discord, are we your prey alone Or are we just a stepping stone For taking back the throne Discord, we won't take it any more So take your tyranny away

Tubbo wanted to see Tommy. That was all he wanted to do after what had happened. When he got there, all he saw was the wreckage of what once was Logstedshire....and a tall pillar.

“Surely not.” He muttered to himself as he looked around.

After looking around some more, he realized there was no other conclusion.

He sat in the wreckage, quiet.

It was clear now. Dream was power-hungry. He got rid of the only thing that was resisting him and it was Tubbo’s fault.

No one heard the pained scream come from Tubbo.

#dream smp #dream smp roleplay #tubbo #tommyinnit #ghost wilbur #ghostbur #tommy and tubbo #quackity #powerhungry quackity #technoblade #technoblade and tommy are brothers #dream #can i get clout from this #am i a good writer #cw swearing #cw spoilers #spoilers for the newest streams of dsmp #dsmp

[missmonsters2]

Lie With Me

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader/OFC

For @sunlightwanda summer writing challenge! 💕 - Fake Dating AU - Oneshot

Genre: Humor & Romance 

Warnings: Very light sexual situations/thoughts. No smut. Also, every trope that comes with fake dating LOL

Notes: Thanks so much for letting me participate in your writing challenge 😊 I hope you enjoy it! Also whew, made it just before the deadline 😂

Translations/Transliteration: милый/milyj - Darling принцесса/printsessa - Princess

Count: 5975

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Out of all your time spent being an Avenger, you would say that Wanda was the person you were the least close with.

Not because you didn’t like her or she didn’t like you or anything, you just found that there weren’t that many opportunities to get to know the girl. 

Wanda was getting private training from Natasha on the art of blending in and spy training 101. Her time was consumed by that, and you were generally busy taking on missions that kept you away from the compound. 

On top of that, you’ve never been assigned to a mission with her before. You’ve literally worked with everyone but Wanda. 

So, you were quite surprised when Wanda reached out to you for help on her mission.

You had just finished your own mission and on a private jet on your way back. Honestly, you were kind of excited to just go back home to relax. You had no more missions for the next little while, and it’s been a long time since that happened. 

But when Wanda radioed in, you assumed you were probably her last choice to ask. 

So, you had to make a pit stop instead. 

You had no idea what her mission was even about, but whatever it was, you hoped it wasn’t something that was going to need to be dragged out. 

You stopped in front of the house that Wanda gave you the coordinates to. Immediately, you notice from your peripherals through your sunglasses the neighbors are watching you discreetly through their window.

Before you can say or do anything, Wanda bursts out the front door, running straight for you. You immediately tense up the moment Wanda jumps onto you, forcing you to hold her, so she doesn’t fall.

“Wanda, what the fu--”

“милый! You’re finally back, I’ve missed you so much.”

Darling? You think to yourself confusedly. A scream wants to escape you and your muscles itch to push Wanda off, but you will yourself to calm down.

As an agent, you know that Wanda is putting on a show and you were going to blow her cover if you didn’t play along.

So, you force yourself to smile, wrapping your arms around her fully before spinning her around. You hear her laugh before you settle her down.

“I’ve missed you too, принцесса,” You tell her softly, and for a moment, her eyes sparkle, but it passes quickly before you can really make sure. 

Wanda giggled a little more before grabbing your arm and dragging you inside the house with a positively wicked look in her eyes along with your luggage.

The second you’re both inside with the door shut, it’s like a switch.

Wanda drops your arm before turning to you with an apologetic look.

“Sorry,” she says. “Our neighbors, my targets, were looking outside. I had to make sure they see us.”

It’s the first time you’ve probably ever had such a long conversation with her, and you notice immediately that she’s got a subtle accent. Not as strong as when you first met her, nor completely gone like the last time you heard her talk.

It was clear she had a particular profile to play. 

“Right...” you respond, “and exactly what is it that they’re supposed to see?”

“Well,” Wanda drags out, “I’m here to recover a specific item. It’s a half a million-dollar gold sphere that actually has an important microchip inside of it. The targets aren’t criminals, just wealthy club owners who may have bought it on the black market without knowing what it is.”

“Okay?” You say, not really sure what that has to do with you being here or the strange public display of affection that just happened outside.

“And,” Wanda continues on, biting her lip a little. “Well, it’s a gay couple who just seems to really only get along with other gay couples...I just want to get this stupid gold sphere so I can go home.”

You’re in disbelief.

Because this can’t be happening.

This isn’t real, you tell yourself.

“So...you’re telling me that your targets hate straight people and you can’t get close enough to them without pretending to be gay and dating someone?”

“It’s not exactly pretending,” Wanda mumbles at you.

“What?”

Wanda sighs and looks at you with her arms crossed. “Look, I really need your help on this; otherwise, I’m going to be stuck out here for months. I’ve already tried to ask Natasha, but she’s still on her own mission for an unknown amount of time and Carol is in space. Please?”

You really want to groan audibly because of course, you’re not going to turn Wanda down...it’s just...this wasn’t what you had expected when she said she needed help.

“Alright, alright, I’ll help you, but you owe me big time for this.” You point your finger at her, and she nods enthusiastically, and the whole thing can only suggest that Wanda wasn’t able to get very far without her “lover” around.

They probably wanted proof that she really was gay and dating. 

“Alright, so, catch me up. What have you told them, and what’s our next move?”

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

“You two are so adorable! I’m so glad you could make it. I was beginning to believe Wanda here had made you up.”

You laugh boisterously even though on the inside you were dying a little. Everything felt sprung on you. 

Wanda had let you know the two of you were actually going over to the neighbors later that evening. Their names were David and Liam King, who owned the biggest LGBTQ+ nightclub in the city called The Kings & Queens. 

So the next couple of hours, you and Wanda had to work out the finer details of your fake relationship. 

Wanda had apparently told them you were a freelance photographer and you had traveled to do a wedding for a couple. 

You were so thankful that Wanda had immediately reached back out to base after telling that story to set you up with an Instagram profile to show your portfolio.

It was like an unspoken rule between two agents that you guys would do whatever it takes to accomplish this mission. 

You’ve done plenty of missions like this before with Natasha, so it shouldn’t be any different with Wanda. 

The four of you were sitting outside on their patio around a modernly built bonfire. Dinner was a leisurely affair where you mostly talked about work. David and Liam were already inviting you out to the VIP section of their club, so Wanda was right in the sense being another gay couple did get her a quick ticket into their circle. 

Wanda was currently curled into your side while your arm was wrapped around her, fingers entangled together. 

You absently thought about how Wanda’s body was much warmer than you expected. She definitely seemed like someone who would’ve had poor circulation, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. 

“I’m very much real, though I can’t guarantee whatever Wanda told about me is accurate,” you teased looking at Wanda who was grinning back at you and then she was looking at your lips. 

The look stirred something in your lower belly, but you quickly shook the thought away, saying it was something you ate. 

David laughed as Liam passed around some skewers and marshmallows. Wanda looked at the treat with her eyes narrowed, as if she wasn’t too sure what she was supposed to do.

You tried to not laugh at how adorable she currently looked, just pulling her closer to your side while you roasted the sugary treat slowly. 

Wanda watched you do the activity, storing the image in her head so she could copy you after. 

Once you determined the perfect texture for the marshmallow, you grabbed the graham crackers and a piece of the darker chocolate, assembling the treat together. 

You were idly thinking about how you might’ve heard Natasha say she had gotten Wanda dark chocolate for valentine’s day once since they had to train together that day.

Wanda tilted her head, trying to remember the order you assembled the dessert together, getting ready to imitate what you had done. 

But then to her surprise, you handed the finished dessert to her. She looked at your smiling face as she gently took it from you. 

She took a cautious bite, immediately groaning a little at how much she was enjoying it surprisingly.

“S’mores are good, aren’t they?” You tell her with a soft smile, and Wanda smiles back at you.

You were subtly telling her they were called s’mores. 

It was new to Wanda. 

She had never had anyone take care of her in this type of way.

She had to remind herself that it was a role you were playing, just like she was.

“Oh my god, you guys are disgusting,” David dramatically said with a playful roll of his eyes before looking at his husband. “Why don’t you make me my s’mores?”

Liam looked panicked before all three of you laughed. 

You ended up making three more s’mores for Wanda before she couldn’t eat anymore. Wanda sighs contently, falling back into your side, snuggling up to you with her arms wrapped around your waists, and your arm falling around her.

“So, how’d you two meet?” Liam asked as he grabbed David’s hand.

For a moment, the two of you panic. You definitely hadn’t thought that one out. You look at each other, Wanda’s eyes telling you that maybe you should tell the story. 

The worst thing that could happen is that the two of you both try to blurt something out completely different.

“Well,” you say, trying to gather your thoughts. Natasha has told you some of the best lies she’s told were half-truths, so maybe that’s what you were going to do.

“I suppose we met through mutual friends,” you start off. “I was a newcomer to Wanda’s group of friends. I didn’t quite meet her until a little later, but I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

Wanda felt her cheeks flush, the heat traveling all the way to the tip of her ears as she listened to you. 

“Still, even after we met, I didn’t spend a lot of time with her. But...she was always on my mind whenever we passed each other or if I just missed being in the same room as her.”

“Oh my gosh, and then what?” David as enraptured. 

Wanda was also curious about what you were going to say. 

“Wanda one day asked me to help her with one of her projects,” you say, forcing a blush to your cheeks as you looked away shyly for effect.

“One thing led to another, and now I’ve pretty much secured Wanda and never letting her go,” you say jokingly at the end which gets everyone laughing.

“More like I’ve trapped you, милый,” Wanda teases you, and you playfully roll your eyes at her.

“No complaints here, принцесса.”

Wanda’s eyes twinkle once more with the nickname, and you’re caught up in staring at each other before David sigh.

“Even your nicknames for each other is so cute, I’m about to have diabetes from watching you two.”

You merely smile before Wanda lets out a yawn, and it’s either to signal you that it’s time to go or she’s fatigued.

Either way, you take the cue.

“We should head home,” you say to Wanda, a soft look on your face. 

She nods as if she was extremely exhausted. You help her up while David and Liam stand up as well. 

“Thanks so much for coming over, it was a blast,” David tells you.

“Thanks for having us over. We’ll host next time,” you tell them and they nod.

Before the two of you can walk off, David calls out again.

“Don’t forget to stop by our club on Saturday. I’ll let the bouncer know to let you guys into the VIP section.”

The two of you nod as you grab Wanda’s hand, lacing your fingers together, and lead her home.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

Wanda sighs the moment she steps into the house. The two of you are still holding hands, not seemingly noticing until you tried to go to the kitchen and Wanda wanted to sit on the couch.

You cough awkwardly as you let go, Wanda watching you with interest as you walk into the kitchen, grabbing the both of you some water.

“Well, this is going exceptionally well,” you say as you take a seat next to her. 

“See?” Wanda brags. “I told you it would go much faster pretending to be dating.”

“They’re definitely an interesting couple. Undoubtedly lives the rich and partying lifestyle. Tonight seemed tame for them. Where do you think they’re keeping the golden sphere?”

Wanda took a sip of her water before replying.

“I’ve been to their house and already searched everywhere, so it’s not there. My guess is that it’s at their club in their exclusive VIP section. We’ll have to keep an eye out Saturday.”

You nod. 

“Alright,” you agree easily, sighing as you went to stand up. “I’m pretty beat, so I’m going to head to bed. Any particular room I can crash in?”

It was then Wanda seemed to realize something.

“Yeah...about that.”

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

“This is so cliché,” you mutter to yourself as you finished your nightly routine, getting ready for bed. Wanda just came out of the bathroom and was getting ready for bed herself. 

Wanda had so kindly told you that there was only one room with a bed in it. The other rooms were “under renovations” because whoever gave her this house for the mission was too goddamn lazy and only set up one.

“Do you want me to take the floor?” Wanda asked as she looked at your face.

You scrunched your eyebrows together. “What? No, why would you do that? It’s a queen-sized bed, plenty of room for us to share.”

Wanda was about to say something else, but you cut her off.

“Please do not make this weird. We’re both grown-ups, and spies might I add, we can share a bed. I’ve shared a sleeping quarter with pretty much everyone at the compound. In fact, I’ve slept on top of Steve once, so please just get into bed.”

Wanda snaps her mouth closed before slowly getting into the bed on her side. You internally sigh in relief as you slide in yourself after turning off the lamp.

“You’d think my girlfriend would be more willing to sleep with me,” you say in the dark, teasing Wanda who merely chuckles, pushing you lightly from across the bed.

It was silent for a moment, your eyes drooping shut before Wanda opened her mouth again.

“Why were you sleeping on top of Steve?”

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

The sun was hitting your face directly through the streams of the curtain. 

You groaned lightly, shifting yourself into the warmth more intimately, burying your face in the mass of hair that was in front of you.

You felt something shift against your body, pressing back more intimately into you. 

There was a fleeting thought in your head that this wasn’t normal. You were tempted to ignore it and go back to sleep.

The warmth was really pulling you in, and the soft scent of cinnamon and dry leaves were just lulling you back to sleep.

But then you opened your eyes slowly. 

When you realized what the warmth was...you swallowed.

Sometime in the middle of the night, you and Wanda must’ve gravitated towards each other because now you were just a bunch of tangled limbs in bed.

Wanda’s entire backside was pressed into your front as you had a thigh wedged between her legs and arm over her torso. Her shirt had ridden up quite a bit during the night, so your hand was under her shirt, touching her soft, warm skin. You were pretty certain your fingers were just brushing the underside of her breast.

And Wanda wasn’t wearing a bra. 

It was still the early hours of the morning, and the entire situation was disorienting for you. 

You breathed deeply quietly. 

You needed to detangle yourself from this without waking Wanda because you don’t think you could face her if she woke up now. 

You try to shift slightly, but all you end up doing is accidentally rubbing your thigh against her. 

Wanda groans lightly in her sleep, and you feel the panic rising in your chest.

But Wanda doesn’t wake up, and you silently thank the heavens. 

You take a deep breath again, shifting more slowly this time, first your arm before your leg. It takes a ridiculous amount of time, but you manage to escape the bed without waking Wanda, and it feels more accomplishing than any mission you’ve ever done.

You head out the door, closing it as quietly as you can. 

You breathe in relief, heading over to the room next door where you left your belongings. Changing into workout attire, you decide to go for a run.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

The smell of eggs and bacon hit your senses the moment you come back into the house.

You see Wanda standing in the kitchen, singing lightly as she’s cooking, wearing an oversized shirt.

You can’t describe it, but the image of it brings a warmth to your chest, and it spreads to the rest of your body. 

Wanda turns around, seemingly hearing the door close.

“Oh, you’re back!” She says with a smile. “I made what they call, ‘a traditional American breakfast.’ Are you hungry?”

You smile at her because she sounds so ridiculous as she excitedly puts the hearty breakfast on the table.

“Yeah,” you breath, “I’m just going to clean up really quick.”

By the time you come back down all fresh and showered, Wanda has finished everything. 

You take a seat as Wanda helps you put everything on a plate. You take a bite as Wanda watches your expression intensely.

“It’s good, delicious, really. Best I’ve ever had,” you reassure her and Wanda seemingly loses the tension from her shoulders. 

“I’m glad,” she tells you. “Ever since moving to the compound, I haven’t had a lot of time to cook anymore with training.”

“Did you cook a lot before?” You ask before putting some more food into your mouth.

Wanda nods, bringing her hand up to her mouth as she tries to swallow her food quicker to answer.

“Yes,” she tells you. “Pietro couldn’t cook at all. I mean at all. So, I learned here and there.”

You give her a soft smile because you’ve heard since her brother died, she was...different. But you were glad she seemed to be able to talk about him now.

“That’s fair,” you respond to her laughing a little bit. “I’ve learned a few things here and there too since I used to do a lot of missions with Natasha...and she really can’t cook.”

“Are you going to explain to me the eyebrow incident? Everyone seems to reference it all the time.” Wanda asked curiously. 

The smile drops from your face, and Wanda blinks at the sudden change.

“Never mention that incident again...I still have PTSD from it.”

Wanda sputters out a laughter which gets you smiling a little. 

You would dare to say it out loud, but the way Wanda laughs makes your heart flutter.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

The next couple days until Saturday is strangely domestic for you since you had to keep up the charade.

The days were filled with gardening, mostly you watching Wanda garden as everything you touch dies, and cooking dinner together. 

There was one evening that you and Wanda took a stroll around the neighborhood. The two of you just...talked. 

You got to know each other pretty well, and it was weird how compatible you two seemed to be. 

But not because you agreed on everything and had the same interests because you don’t. It was the way that you two fell into step with each other, a calming pull with hints of butterflies that settled over you when you’re with her.

To deeply put it, you two vibrated on the same wavelength. 

And, well, she was funny. 

It was getting comfortable, and you didn’t know what to do with that feeling. 

Every morning, you’d wake up in an intimate position you weren’t in when you went to sleep, and you were finding it harder and harder to detangle yourself and get out of bed each morning. 

You were shaken out of your thoughts when Wanda called you to help her zip her dress up. Wanda came out, holding her hair up and back turned to you. 

You immediately blank your mind because the sight of her smooth bareback and defined shoulder blades was about to give you thoughts that would send you straight to hell. 

“I can’t get the zipper all the way up, can you do it?” Wanda asked so innocently and frustratedly that you feel guilty for almost having such thoughts about her. 

“Sure,” you reply, dryly. Taking a step forward, you lightly grab the edge of the zipper and pull it up until it reaches its end.

Wanda turns to you, dropping her hair that fell down her shoulders in loose curls. 

“How do I look?” She asked you, and you looked at the attire in full. She was wearing a short clubbing dress that accented her breasts and collarbone. 

“Perfect,” you say, and she beams at you. 

“Let’s hope we find what we need tonight and hopefully we can be on a plane home tomorrow morning,” Wanda tells you, putting on some earrings. 

“Yeah,” you reply for lack of anything else to say. 

A part of you wondered if you would go back to being strangers once the two of you returned. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

It was quite the flashy club. Colored lights were blinking everywhere, and the music played so loudly that you could feel the bass thump against your skin. 

Bodies were crammed onto the dance floor, dancing (grinding) and making out. 

The bouncer let the two of you in easily once your name was given and directed the two of you where the VIP section was. 

It was so packed that you ended up grabbing Wanda’s hand tightly so you wouldn’t lose her in the throng of people. You eventually pull her in front of you when you reach up the stairs so she could go first, putting your hands on her waist to follow her. 

Once you’re at the top, you feel almost breathless. 

“Damn, this club is crowded,” you say, mostly to yourself but then you hear Wanda chuckle. 

“It is the most popular gay club here. I think that’s the room they’re in. Let’s go.”

Wanda grabs your hand again, pulling you to the back. Another bouncer is standing at the door, she tells them your names, and he steps to the side while opening the door. 

You’re immediately facing a whole other group people. 

“You made it!” David exclaims as he gets up to hug the two of you. He smells like tequila, and you know everyone has already started drinking. You look around the room to find another gay couple, a lesbian couple, and a single girl sitting on her own. 

The single girl looks like she’s glaring at you slightly as she catches your intertwined hands with Wanda. 

You cock your brow. 

She looks like she wants to say something but David is introducing everyone to the two of you. 

It mostly kind of flies over your head because these people are irrelevant to you and the mission. Wanda seems to be doing better than you for remembering the names. 

The only name you caught was the single girl’s, Vanessa. Apparently, she had met with Wanda multiple times before because she hangs out with David and Liam quite often. 

She obviously liked Wanda, probably thinking she wasn’t actually dating someone. 

It rubs you the wrong way, and you don’t know what to think about that. 

“The sphere isn’t in this room,” Wanda whispers to you quietly, passing it off as if she was whispering seductive things in your ear. 

You lean against the wall, bringing Wanda a little forward with you as you cup her jaw and bring your lips to her ear. 

“We can look around a little later. Focus on getting them drunk so we can look around,” you whisper in return, but to everyone, it looks like you’re biting her ear, especially with the look on Wanda’s face. 

“Oh my lord, you two are already at it,” David teased, bringing the two of you apart. You merely smirk before taking a seat down. It just so happens that Wanda ends up sitting next to Vanessa while you’re at the edge. 

Drinks are passed around, and you’ve taken a couple shots and now nursing your second beer. 

It was good that you had a higher alcohol tolerance, and it seemed like Wanda was more playing into talking to everyone to distract them on the fact she was only taking sips of her drink. 

It wasn’t hard to egg on David and Liam to drink more, and you didn’t have to do anything for the other couples. 

The party was escalating as time passed. The VIP area was insane with bottle services and their own dance floor. 

People were dancing on the floor to the music and flashing lights. You used the opportunity to peek your head out the door to see what else there was. 

Around the bouncer, you noticed there were two other rooms and a turn that leads to a staircase. 

You hummed. 

You looked back to see Wanda dancing on the floor, swaying her hips and running her hands through her hair with her eyes closed. 

You couldn’t catch the thoughts fast enough of how insanely hot she was and that you may have wanted to drag her to the washroom. 

Wanda’s eyes snapped opened as she locked eyes with you, and it was like a hot electric buzz tingled in the air. 

It was cut short when Vanessa came behind Wanda, turning Wanda around and pulling her into a dance—a grind with her. 

It pissed you off. 

A white, hot burning in your chest flares. 

The sheer audacity this girl has to hit on your girlfriend—fake girlfriend—in front of you baffles you. 

Wanda doesn’t even really seem to notice, just playing her role and calling for more drinks. 

You push off against the wall, stalking your way over to Wanda who’s waving for more drinks from the bartender while Vanessa has her hands on Wanda’s waist. 

You stop right behind Wanda, her back facing to you before you grab her arm, spinning her around out of Vanessa’s grasp and into your arms. Your hands slide up to cup her jaws on both sides, strands of her hair caught between your fingers as you capture Wanda’s lips roughly. 

You can’t describe how it feels, but it’s like everything in you shifted, everything falling into place in the way you didn’t know you needed. 

Wanda softly moans against your lips, pressing her lips over yours over and over again, her hand grasping your fingers against her jaw. 

“GET A ROOM!” David yells from the dance floor. Everyone’s chuckling at you while you pull back slightly. You look past Wanda and glare at Vanessa who now seems to register that Wanda is off-limits. 

“Might just do that,” you say against Wanda’s lips, grabbing her hand. Everyone is still so wasted and only getting worse as they dance. 

You take this moment to pull Wanda out of the room. You notice that the bouncer is still there. Giggling, looking like a naughty couple, you drag Wanda into the room next door. The bouncer leaves you to be because he may have heard the commotion in the other room. 

You push Wanda into the next room. As you shut the door behind you, Wanda leaps into you, capturing your lips again. 

A surprised moan escaped your lips as you wrap your arm around her waist. 

She’s kissing you quite enthusiastically, and you’re trying to return the fervor. 

When you break apart for air, Wanda is flushed, her cheeks are a rosy color as she looks at you. You can’t stop thinking about her, how she smells, how she tastes. 

It’s a little overwhelming. Wanda’s eyes dilate as she hones in on your thoughts. 

“As nice as this is,” you breathlessly say, “we should actually look for the sphere.”

Wanda stared at you for a moment before lifting her body off of yours. 

It felt cold. 

You cleared your throat, licking your lips slightly, tasting the remnants of Wanda’s lip gloss. 

Standing up straight, you looked around the room. There was nothing in the open, so you and Wanda began to shuffle through the shelves and drawers. 

“Nothing?” Wanda asks you. 

“Nothing,” you sighed. 

“You said there was another room, right?”

You nodded but pursed your lips. “I highly doubt it’s in the other room, though. He doesn’t seem to be keeping it on this floor. We should just go straight for the basement.”

You slide the door open slightly to look down the hall. The bouncer is still standing outside at the other room. 

You hummed. 

At the same moment, Vanessa came spilling out the door, wasted as the bouncer turned his attention to her. 

You take advantage of the moment, grabbing Wanda’s hand once more and exiting the room without the bouncer noticing. You lead her to the far back and take a sharp turn where the stairs are. 

It leads pretty deep down until you reach the bottom floor. The two of you stand before the door before you open it. 

You step in and...

“Are you kidding me?” You ask exasperatedly. 

Wanda is blinking at she’s looking around the room. It wasn’t what you had expected at all. There was a large stage, then a built-in dance floor, and then tables and chairs set up. 

You look up and...

“You’re telling me he bought a $500,000 golden sphere on the black market...to use it as a disco ball.”

The golden sphere with crystals embedded on it hangs from the ceiling, spinning in all its glory. 

“I hate people,” you mumble as you throw a chair on the table and get up onto it. You make a leap and grab the sphere with enough force that it rips from the hook on the ceiling. 

You land on the floor gracefully, tossing the sphere to Wanda who catches it with both hands. 

“David just really loves dancing,” Wanda teases you as she sets the sphere on the table. 

You huff slightly, watching as Wanda’s hands glow and her lithe fingers bring red wisps around.

Wanda essentially bends the metal open, grabbing the microchip out and storing it safely. She bends the metal back perfectly as if it hadn’t been touched at all. Using her powers, she lifts the sphere and puts it back on the hook. 

“You’re telling me I just jumped to get it when you could’ve done that?”

“You got to pull your weight around here somehow,” Wanda smirks. 

You roll your eyes playfully at her as the two of you leave.

No need to stay longer with the mission completed.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

That night when you get back home, Wanda reports in, and Tony is going to send one of his planes to pick the two of you up tomorrow. 

You sighed after you had finished your nightly routine. Sliding into your side of the bed, you lay on your back. Putting your arm behind your head, you unintentionally replay today’s events in your head. 

Specifically kissing Wanda. 

“Keep thinking those thoughts, and you’re going to find yourself in trouble.”

You snap out of your thoughts to see Wanda enter the bedroom. She walks around the bed, taking off her cardigan and dropping it on the floor before she lifts the blanket and slides in. 

She invades your space, scooting herself until her back is pressed against you. Reaching around herself, she grabs your arm and pulls it over her torso.

Wanda settles and sighs in content. 

Her fingers are tangled with yours, and she’s taken the liberty of entangling your legs as well. 

“Being pretty bold, aren’t we?” You say in the dark, eyebrow raised.

Wanda smiles, her eyes closed as she’s getting ready to sleep.

“Why not? I think after today there’s no need to wait for us both to fall asleep before we cuddle. Think you can at least wake me up tomorrow morning before you wander off?”

You feel your cheeks flush slightly. 

“We did a job,” you argued.

“You didn’t need to kiss me like that,” Wanda retorted, referring to the dance floor and Vanessa.

“And let Miss Single and Desperate put her paws all over my fake girlfriend? I think not.”

Wanda shifts a little against you. “So, you were only fake jealous then?”

You don’t answer right away, nor do you move. All your life, every mission you took had meaning, had a direction, had a purpose. 

The mission stayed the mission. 

This was the first time you had to consider your actions--why you did what you did. 

Without this mission, it’s possible you may have never considered Wanda in such a way.

Would Wanda consider you if you weren’t the one here?

Regardless, it happened, and now you cannot stop thinking about her.

“You should consider it,” Wanda says, interrupting your thoughts.

“Consider what?”

“Consider being mine for real, милый.”

The nickname rolls off her tongue so easily that you feel like you’ve been hers for a long time. 

Your arm tightens around her, burying your head in her hair, the smell of cinnamon and dry leaves washing over you. You sigh lightly. 

“It’s been considered.”

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷ 

The next morning, the two of you leave bright and early. Everything all packed up as you get ready to meet Tony at the airport. 

The two of you weren’t going to even say goodbye to David and Liam. They would just find a new family living in this house. 

You’re holding hands as the taxi driver drops you off on the tarmac where Tony has his jet parked. 

Tony sees your linked hands, smirks, but doesn’t say anything.

“Thank god that the two of you are finally coming home,” Tony comments. You’re putting your suitcases away and hum in response.

“Natasha’s been complaining about having nothing to do while she’s been home for a week.”

You pause for a moment. 

“Wait,” you say, turning to Tony with your brows furrowed. “Hasn’t Natasha been on a mission for an unknown amount of time?”

That’s what you recalled Wanda telling you as she roped you into helping her on this mission. 

Tony laughs. “I wish. She’s been getting stir crazy at home. It’s so bad, she’s contemplating trying to cook again.”

Tony walks past you, entering the plane while you’re confused. 

You stand there, eyes slightly narrowed and looking down as you process that information.

If Natasha was home, then why didn’t Wanda--

Wanda smirks as she walks past you to board the plane as well, but not before quickly pressing her lips to your cheek. 

“Come, милый, perhaps you can explain to me what the mile high club is that Tony keeps talking about.”

You blink, your brain nearly short-circuiting. 

Wanda winks at you once more before she disappearing on the plane.

You’re hot on her trail as you hurry up the stairs and board the plane yourself. 

Of all the Avengers, you would say that Wanda is someone you were planning to get the closest with. 

Because you like her, and there were many opportunities for you to do so.

#mm: my fics #cantcontroltheirfearswc #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x ofc #Wanda Maximoff Imagine #Scarlet Witch x Reader #Scarlet Witch Imagine #Avengers #avengers imagine #Avengers AU #avengers reader insert #marvel imagine #marvel mcu #modern avengers AU #genre: humor #genre: romance

[recurring-polynya]

So, I did it, I protested.

I’m writing this post, not to brag, because to honest, I feel like I am doing a literal minimum of what I should be doing, but because people writing about their experiences online is really, really helpful to me, and if I can make even one person feel better about protesting, I want to do that.

Whatever you may have gathered from my online persona, I am actually a pretty shy and nervous person IRL. I hate confrontation, but at the same time, I believe that I have a moral imperative to stand up for what is right. This makes me sound much tougher than I am, but mostly it has always resolved itself into speaking up in work meetings when I think something is a bad idea, or pushing back against unrealistic deadlines, especially when it regards people under me in the management structure. This has always been incredibly stressful for me because it’s hooked right up to the anxiety part of my brain, so I have always forced myself to do it, and is part of the reason I am currently taking a break from working.

If you spend a lot of time on Twitter (and I am trying to do just enough to stay informed without getting bogged down in anxiety and depression), you are probably reading a lot about prepping for protests by covering your tattoos and locking down your phone and how to flip a riot shield or stare down a police horse. As I was leaving this weekend, I asked my husband to top up my water bottle for me, and he joking replied, “Stay hydrated! You know if you tell them you have to go before you do it, they can’t arrest you for peeing in a cop car!” I’m grateful for people sharing wisdom, I guess, but it also builds protesting into his huge, scary thing that can seem very intimidating.

I live between two major cities, and I have been doing a lot of handwringing over whether I should be going to the major protests, even though I have never been to a protest and getting into either city is a nightmare at the best of times and there’s a pandemic on (my county has a high incidence of Covid and only came out of lockdown last week and we are still being encouraged to stay home) and also I am a huge weenie coward. I kept saying that if there was a protest in my town, I would go. WELP, I went on Facebook (I only go on Facebook for local and school stuff) and saw that some local high schoolers had organized a march on Sunday. So I had to go.

I did not want to take my kids, which meant that I couldn’t make my husband go with me, so I started hunting around for a protest buddy. I texted my neighbor who went down to the Women’s Protest after the election. She wasn’t able to go, but she said she was proud of me. My sister, however, was able to go, and furthermore, there was a candlelight vigil in her town on Saturday evening (20 min away and I used to live there), so I agreed to go with her if she would go with me.

The candlelight vigil was a really good warm up for the march. My sister’s town is a Depression-era planned community and it is populated almost entirely by old hippies. Have you ever been to a white person drum circle? That’s basically what it was. It was in the little historic town plaza, where the credit union and the coop grocery are. It was probably 90% white. There were a lot of old folks, some with canes and walkers. There were some kids, including a toddler. My sister saw some people she knew from her neighborhood Star Trek watching group. There was drumming. A priest carrying a small, fluffy dog gave an opening prayer. The mayor, an incredibly young black guy (he said he was born the year of the Rodney King riots and I crumbled into dust) came out and gave a speech which included what the town was doing and what work needs to be done at the state level. There was more drumming, which included doing some chants. Now, I go to an Episcopal Church, so I am used to old people awkwardly clapping. I guess we were supposed to bring our own candles. A lady had brought a bag of extra little LED ones, and she gave us some. We lit the candles and dispersed along the main road and hung out with our candles until about 9. It was overall pretty small, but both the mayor and the drum lady who had organized it thanked everyone profusely for coming and said it was way bigger than they had expected.

The march in my town the next day was waaaaaaay bigger. As I mentioned, it was organized by some kids from the high school, and most of the publicity had been on Instagram, although after they got permission from the city, the city PR promoted it on Facebook and Twitter. It was in a park a mile or two south of my house. They had rented the grandstand. Overall, they did a great job organizing-- water, snacks and masks were provided, although most people brought their own. They had a sign language interpreter. Someone handed out signs; I’m not sure if that was organized or just someone did that one their own. The one thing that wasn’t great was that the PA system wasn’t loud enough and I had a lot of trouble hearing. I believe it was mostly students who spoke-- they were very passionate and I wish I could have heard better. The mayor (who is white) was there, but didn’t speak, which I think was great, actually. There was one douchebag who showed up with one of those Blue Lives Matter flags that’s an American flag with a blue stripe. He got up on stage at some point, but I have no idea what he had to say because everyone was booing him. The crowd was probably 75% black. I saw a significant number of signs like “Black Trans Lives Matter” and “Gay, Black and Tired,” which made me happy. We ran into my priest and her wife (they are in their 60′s/70′s) along with some other people I knew from church who are about 10 years older than me. After the speeches part, we marched up and down a major street which had been closed to traffic for the purpose. There was a lot of shouting that seemed pretty organic-- someone would start up a chant and lead it for a minute or two. I am a pretty good shouter, because I play hockey, but my voice was very tired by the end. There were cops along the route, and people would almost always start up a chant when we passed some cops, but it was very... cordial? I guess? The cops just stood there stoically and took their criticism. Afterward, the city police Facebook page issued a thank you to the protesters for a peaceful protest and the city posted a lot of pictures and positive messages about it.

I guess I’m telling you this story because I was pretty scared to go protest, but I did it and it wasn’t scary. I saw a lot of old people and people with canes and people who had brought small children. I didn’t know what I was doing, and that was okay. I wasn’t the only white person there. I made signs, and some people asked to take pictures of them. Maybe these were just local protests, but local protests matter, too! I am incredibly proud of the turnout for the one in my own town, and I was pleased to see various organizations around town endorsing it. The Historic Society is asking people to donate signs because they are devoted to documenting history as it happens. I am really grateful to my sis for going with me and to all my friends, online and irl, who are examples to me and make me want to be better (including @grindel-works and @unohanadaydreams ) and I feel better now about doing more of this in the future.

#protests #social justice #no justice no peace #personal experiences #trying not to clog the tags people are using for organizing #we can do this fellow shy anxiety weenies! #ngl i'm really proud of my signs but i put my town name on them so i'm not posting pictures #also the second one took up my wholeass day between being anxious all morning and then exhausted all evening #i have so so much respect for people who do this all the time at much bigger protests

[jeonchan26]

Don’t Show Up Now (Changbin)

The club was packed, walking in with your friends. This was the first time you have gone out since Changbin and you broke up. 

Flashback

You were waiting for Changbin to come home from work. But like always he was late, you sigh as you started to put the food away that you had prepared for the dinner. He had promised you he was going to come home early but like every other promise he had made, he broke it. 

As you were putting the food away, you heard the front door open and close. You stayed quiet and continued to do what you were doing. You heard him sigh, “Babe I’m sorry I completely forgot about our plans today. We have a deadline and I can’t miss it” he said walking up to you to hug you but you moved away. 

You just nodded, it was always the same excuse. You knew that the moment you agreed to be his girlfriend it was going to be a bit hard due to his idol life. But you were willing to sacrifice everything for him. “It’s fine Im used to you not keeping your promises” you said back with a weak smile.  You heard Changbin groan in annoyance as soon as you said those words.  “You know what you signed up when you agreed to be my girlfriend” 

““I know Changbin but it will be nice if you kept your promises. I mean the other boys make time for it girlfriends why can’t you. Is it that hard for you to?” I said annoyed and angry.

“FUCK WHY WOULD I WANT TO COME HOME TO YOU BITCHING AND NAGGING ABOUT STUPID PLANS THAT ARENT WORTH MY TIME. THE OTHER BOYS DONT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS TYPE OF SHIT BUT I DO AND ITS ANNOYING. THEY LOVE THEIR GIRLS ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH IT.” He yelled.  You felt everything stop you looked at him hurt, tears threatening to fall down. ““You dont love me enough to do that stuff with me?” You stared at him in disbelief.

“No I don’t. It’s hard coming home to you that’s why I come home so late so I don’t have to see you” he groaned. 

“FUCK THEN LEAVE. WTF ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? YOU WANT OUT THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE” you said throwing a plate on the ground breaking, just like your relationship.  “GLADLY! THE GUYS WILL COME TOMORROW TO COLLECT MY STUFF.” With that he was gone slamming the door behind him.

The next day his friends arrived to collect his stuff like he promises they all said hi and apologize for his attitude but you didn’t care. They were giving you pity looks like you needed them. 

End of Flashback.

It’s took you weeks to finally get out of the house but your friends decided that enough. So tonight you decided to wear the sexiest outfit you had and get fucked up. Your friends dragged you to the bar and order two rounds of shots, it felt good being out of the house and hanging out with your friends. You favorite song came out and you dragged your friends to the dance floor. 

You were grinding on your friends when all the sudden one of them sculled you’re arm making you look at her with a questioning look. 

“Isn’t that Changbin?” She pointed at the bar. 

You turned to look and there he was with his friends and what look like his new girl. You won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt seeing him with someone else. It’s taken you weeks to get over him and there he was with another girl around his arm. You scoff but you were going to show him you were good without him, even if you went home crying yourself to sleep. 

““Who cares! Come one let’s keep dancing.”  You told your friend, the song Don’t Start Now by Dua Lipa start playing making your friends and you scream the lyrics out. You were a good dance one of the many things that Changbin loved about you. You were grabbing all the guys attention and honestly you were loving it.

Chan saw you in the middle of the dance floor, tapping Changbin. “Hey man isn’t that (y/n)?” He asked Changbin point towards your direction.

Changbin stood frozen as he saw you dancing. Damn you were looking good, he thought.

“Eh whatever Man we broke up weeks ago. Who cares” he said turning away but still in his view.

You saw Chan point towards you but you didn’t mind. He gets to stare all he wants, he can see what he is missing.

All the sudden you felt arms around your waist. You turned your head to see a cute looking guy smiling down at you. Honestly stuff like this would always make you upset but today you decided to just let it happened and start grinding on him.

If Changbin could bury the guy under 6 feet he would of. How can you let some guy just rub up on you like that. Changbin remember when he first met you, you had just pushed a guy away from touching with your your permission. He was pissed that you let some random dude touch what’s his.

“Hey Man you okay?” Seungmin asked as he noticed the glared Changbin was giving you and the guy.

“Yea I’ll be right back” he said walking to the bathroom leaving the girl he brought alone. She wasn’t his girlfriend or anything she was just a random girl they met on the way here but she was extra flirty with Changbin that he decided why not. He never expect to see you here out of all places. He went back to his friends ordering more drink glancing your way every now and then.

You on the other hand were just enjoying being free. You turned your body to face the guy. Damn you couldn’t lie he was hot but not as hot as Changbin.

“Whats your name?”

“Jackson”

“(Y/n)!” You yelled back at him.

“Well (y/n) You are very beautiful and might I just say you’re a pretty good dancer.” You giggled at his comment getting closer to him feeling his breath on your face. Both of you leaning in but before your lips touch you were pulled away from the Jackson, from the club and into Changbin’s car.

“Changbin what the hell!?” You yelled as he started the car driving away.

Changbin was quiet but you could tell he was pissed. His knuckles were white from how tight he was holding on the steering wheel and he was breathing hard.

“Changbin you better have a good fucking explanation on to why you just pulled me away from that guy!” You said crossing your arms.

Parking at the dorms, Changbin got out opening the door for you and pulling you out dragging you into his room. You didn’t even fight it because you wanted this but you also wanted him to explain yourself. And let’s be honest when Changbin is mad you couldn’t really do much but wait til he calmed down.

Slamming the door to his room he turned towards you. “Really you’re gonna ask me why I pulled you away! You were literally grinding on that guy that you just met.” He yelled throwing his hands in the air.

“Okay and What wrong with that? Everybody does it Changbin. Plus last time I checked I’m single”

“The hell you are! The girl I met 3 years ago didn’t not let some guy just walked up to her and let him grind his dick on her!” You could tell he was frustrated but so were you. He had no right to get involved in your personal life.

“Yea but that girl changed after getting heartbroken by the guy that she loves!” She covered her mouth a little to late. Turning her back towards him, holding back her tears. She took a deep breath.

“(Y/n), I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have broken up with you.” You didn’t let him finish. 

““No you don’t get to say that too me. You hurt me, broke me Beyond repair and now when I finally want to move on and live my life you want to come back. No Changbin.” You said with tears in your eyes. ““It doesn’t work like that”

““I know I made a mistake and hurt you but it was never my intention. Yes, I hurt you and I will never forgive myself for that. I Love you more than anything in this world. The only reason I left was because I felt like I didn’t deserve you. I was so busy and I wasn’t giving you the time that you needed. I saw the other guys were giving their partners the time and I just felt like you shouldn’t have to be waiting for me to come home. You didn’t deserve to waste your time on someone like me.” He sigh running his hands through his hair. 

“You dont  to decided what I want. I always wanted you, shit I think I’ll always will because you are it for me Binnie. I love you more than anyone in this world.”  You said pulling him close to you. 

He looked into your eyes and you felt his lips on yours. Losing yourself in the kiss, ““I love you more than you know and leaving you was the dumbest decision I’ve ever made.” 

““Well binnie you have a lot of making up to do” you giggled.  “you bet I do!” He said picking you up and taking you to his bed.

#seo changbin #skz #stray kids changbin #stray kids angst #stray kids scenarios #skz changbin #seo Changbin angst #skz fluff #seo Changbin fluff #changbin fluff #skz imagines

[maknaesdancersrappers]

devotee.

warning/s: very dark themes (stalking, non consensual voyeurism, extreme violence, mentions of blood, talks about abusive mental disorders, obsession, death threats??), explicit smut (masturbation, unprotected sex, cum play, cunnilingus)

Please read at your own discretion.

Jaehyun’s version of Devoted. (please read this first if you haven’t before reading this one)

wc: ~12k

a/n: this is a scheduled post; i should be out of town when this gets posted, so please leave me messages about your thoughts on this!! This will give a little insight on how Jaehyun’s mind works throughout the entire Devoted!AU.

disclaimer: I don’t know anything about how therapy works (uh,,, not yet??) and the actual inner workings of it all so please excuse any blunders if there are any in that aspect!!! I’m pretty sure even the professions I’m using are wrong, so I’m sorry huehuehue ;A; feel free to educate my naive ass.

Jeon Bohyuk sighs heavily, reading through the notes from his last therapy session from months ago. It was alarming how… troubled… this family was. His own father had warned him about taking on his position, but he still pursued it. Bound by extreme secrecy and a very, very hefty paycheck; Dr. Jeon can only do as he’s told and make sure none of these sessions make it out to the public.

It was quite difficult being the Jung Conglomerate’s therapist.

His father always told him, “The Jung’s come first in any situation and problem they face.”

A knock sounds on the door and Dr. Jeon tells them to let themselves in. The familiar face peeks through the door and politely smiles like he always does.

“Ah, Jaehyun. It’s been quite awhile, hasn’t it?” He greets, standing up to move from his desk to the armchair while the newcomer sits at the velvet chaise lounge like a routine.

“Good morning, doctor.” Jaehyun sighs, sinking his body against the furniture already.

Dr. Jeon notices the bandaged hand resting on his patient’s lap, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he picks up his pen and notepad. “So, how have you been since our last meeting? I was starting to think you would never come back.”

Jaehyun stares at the ceiling for a moment and Dr. Jeon notes it down while he starts to answer him, “I might not come back for awhile after this… my girlfriend, [Y/N]...”

“Yes?”  Dr. Jeon looks up at him through his lashes, anticipating his following words. These sessions were because of her; or rather, how Jaehyun had become obsessed with her.

“She knows about my condition. The gist, at least. I didn’t mention the actual disorder; not yet… the timing wasn’t right.”

“And?” Dr. Jeon is continuously writing down in his notepad. “How did Ms. [Y/N] react?”

“Like you predicted, she was scared. But we compromised,” Jaehyun glances at him.

He nods his head and hums in approval, “That’s good. Did you willingly tell her or?”

“No, I got caught.” Jaehyun moves his bare hand over his bandaged one, “You told me during our last session that I should try putting some distance between us.”

It was to help - and also test - his (unhealthy) obsession with her. For years, he comes in for therapy sessions to talk about her and how he feels. Any other psychologists would have been alarmed, but given his family background, Dr. Jeon simply accepted that Jaehyun had found his trigger. What troubles him, however, was his wording. “Caught? What do you mean?”

“A break?” She stares up at him, “What do you mean?”

The suggestion was out of Jaehyun’s mouth before he could actually think it through. He stops walking, resulting her to stop as well. He pouts at her, pushing her stray strands of hair away from her face. “We barely have time for each other. We’re not breaking up, but we just… take a break from seeing each other to focus on finals and getting things done for graduation.”

She gives it a thought, “I guess you’re right… Plates are piling up and most of them have the same deadline.”

“I’d love to watch you work on them and cheer you on, but we hit a bump with our thesis.”

“Then I guess a break is really something we need, yeah? But we’re not technically breaking up, right?” She stretches her arms and hook them over his nape, playing with his soft, thick hair.

“Of course not.” He almost scowls, bringing a little giggle to bubble from her chest. “Until finals are over, there won’t be any seeing each other.”

“No booty calls.”

Jaehyun is visibly disheartened by this, but still nods, “No booty calls. No de-stressing together.”

“No dates,” She adds, “Even texts and phone calls?”

“No distractions at all.” There was regret in his words already. “I can’t walk you to your classes anymore.”

Truth be told, he didn’t have to walk her to her classes. His routes to his classes don’t even graze hers; he literally goes out of his way to walk her to her room, even though he could possibly be late (maybe even locked out) of his next subject.

“This is torture, Jaehyun, are you sure about this?”

Again, before he can think it through, he nods his head and it seals the deal.

Jaehyun barely lasted a day without her, constantly fighting the urge to find her or even send her a text. Halfway through the week, he busies himself with studies but always finds his mind wandering to what she was doing. At the end of the first week, he can’t congratulate himself; he needed to know how she was, what she was doing, where she’s been during her free time; he thinks about if she had pleasured herself with him running through her mind. He needed to see her, touch her, breathe her scent in. The picture on his nightstand isn’t enough, but he doesn’t have a choice. He’s done it before, and there’s no shame in doing it again, he’s just glad he has her photo protected between glasses to make it easier to clean later.

By the second week, he is back to his old habits. He’s keeping tabs on her; following her around when both their schedules are free. His mind is at ease knowing she’s keeping to herself without him, enjoying the company of her friends - people he actually trusts - and not paying attention to other guys.

Jaehyun remembers one of his therapy sessions; how Dr. Jeon talked about how his obsession with her was borderline unhealthy. He said that there was a high chance she wouldn’t like it and would probably leave him. The thought frightened Jaehyun; losing her was the worst thing that could ever happen to him. But she was so attractive; she might not see it, but he can. He can see every guy glancing at her when she enters a room or passes by. He can see their eyes glint with appreciation as it rakes down her entire being, how they would lick their lips like she was their next meal. It made his blood boil.

He follows her around not because he doesn’t trust her; he just doesn’t trust anybody else around her.

But her roommates just had to invite her out one Friday night.

There was a permanent frown on his face as he presses his back to the adjacent wall of her bedroom window.

“No. That’s too short.”

Without even looking, Jaehyun already knew what dress her roommate had pulled out of her closet. The image of her in that little black dress that stopped just above her thighs immediately sent a reaction to his crotch. He hated that dress because everything only he should see would be exposed to the world if she so much as lean forward; but he loved to fuck her in that dress. Easy access.

“It’s cute and sexy!”

‘Damn right, it is. But it’s also for my eyes only.’ Jaehyun presses himself more into the shadows when he spots some night joggers passing by.

“But Jae-”

“Last time I checked, you and Jaehyun are currently on break. Let your legs and ass breathe while they can. You’ve kept your best assets in pants or baggy shorts because Jaehyun doesn’t like it when guys ogle them.”

‘Fuck you, Minkyung. I’m supposed to like you more than Yebin.’

“Uhm, I don’t like being ogled by other guys, too.”

‘Oh, my poor baby, don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’ll regret even looking at you.’ He shifts a bit, adjusting his half-hard cock in his pants and peeking through her blinds. He almost let out a moan; she looked so… delicious in that dress. There’s no way a guy won’t be sparing her an appreciative once-over. He quietly leaves, careful not to make the metal stairs squeak under his feet.

Jaehyun knows where they were heading. He’s heard Yebin talking about it weeks ago. A quick taxi ride later, he’s seated at the far end of the bar. He had a tall glass of beer, watching the crowd from under his cap. Minutes later, he spots her and her roommates walking in. When she turned her head to the bar, he looks down to avoid her gaze. Giving it a few seconds, he cautiously looks back up to find her making her way to an empty booth.

“Jaehyun!” Someone pats his back and he’s lucky the music drowned out his voice before it could even reach to where she is. “I rarely see you drinking without your girl, man.”

Jaehyun sighs, pulling a face at the person who welcomed himself to the empty seat beside him.

Kim Mingyu was an ace player on the baseball team. He was on the basketball team for the first year of uni with Jaehyun, but switched sports during sophomore year.

“Yeah, we’re on a break.” Jaehyun might as well entertain him. In case he gets discovered by her or her roommates, he could always use Mingyu as an alibi. “We won’t have time for each other since we’re all graduating soon.”

“Tell me about it! We just had our very last training a while ago, so we’re celebrating here. Just tossed our bats and mitts in the back of our pick-ups and drove here.” Mingyu nods to his rowdy teammates over at the corner of the room. “I’m gonna miss baseball.”

“Not going pro?” Jaehyun takes a sip of his beer, briefly glancing over to her booth where a waiter delivered her cocktails.

Mingyu thanks the bartender after the beer he ordered was served to him. He chuckles, shaking his head to his question, “Nah, I don’t love the sport enough to have it become my profession. I’m going to try and be a model instead. What about you? You left basketball for your girlfriend. Talk about being whipped.”

“Basketball is just a hobby and another way to exercise for me. Besides, I’m taking over the family business so going pro isn’t an option.”

Jaehyun continues to converse with Mingyu, still checking up on her every now and then. He’s had three beers already that had his body buzzing and although it’s not enough to make him tipsy or drunk, he stops drinking and opted for water.

“Hey, man.” Mingyu slurs a bit, “It was great catching up with you, but I should go back to my teammates, it is our last night as a team.”

“You, too. Take care, Mingyu.” Jaehyun offers a weary smile as he watches his friend shakily stumbled back to where his team was. He moves his gaze back to her booth but panicked when he found it empty. Quickly, his eyes scan the dancing crowd and he’s quick to spot her. However, relief is nowhere in his system. There was a man eyeing her from behind and his gut already told him to make his way over.

But he was too late because from what it looks like, he had touched her. Her. His girlfriend. Jaehyun’s nostrils flared, standing up from his seat and pauses. Yebin had taken care of the situation immediately, stomping on the stranger’s foot and taking her away from him.

These were the rare moments Jaehyun could rely on Yebin. He continues to watch all three of them throw some cash onto their booth, grab their things, and make a beeline for the exit. He was sure she was going home, and he’ll check up on her in a minute, but he reckons he has something to deal with first as his eyes settled on the stranger that touched what had belonged to him.

Jaehyun stalks behind the stranger as he walks back to his car alone at the back of the vast, dimly lit parking lot. He pulls his hood over his head and lowers his cap. He recognizes Mingyu’s car and without thinking, grabs the nearest bat he could from the back and continues to walk up to the stranger.

Adrenaline was pumping through Jaehyun’s veins. He could only see red; he’s seething with anger as he raises the bat over his head. Before the stranger notices him, he strikes him; straight on the head. A pained cry leaves the man as he falls to the ground on his knees, clutching his head. The only coherent thought Jaehyun has in his head is the fact that this man had touched [Y/N] and that was enough to drive him to hit the man once, twice, thrice, not stopping even when blood is sprayed onto his face. He relents once the man is knocked unconscious.

Jaehyun’s breath is ragged, assessing what he had just done. Before anyone could catch him, he runs away with the baseball bat still in hand.

Dr. Jeon has removed his glasses and has been rubbing his eyes for a good minute after Jaehyun recounts his story. “Jaehyun.”

“He’s alive.” Jaehyun crosses his arms, retreating his attention back to the ceiling, already knowing where the warning mention of his name is going.

“Okay,” Dr. Jeon says, mostly to himself, “How did you feel about this? Let’s start with Ms. [Y/N] going out in a dress you deem ‘too short’ for her to wear out.”

“I’m not mad at her. Her friends forced her into it. [Y/N] is submissive; she gives into peer pressure most of the time.”

“So you were mad at her friends?”

Jaehyun half-heartedly shrugs his shoulders, “More annoyed. They got her into the mess, but they also saved her from it.”

“And this man,”

“Kim Iljung.” Jaehyun cuts in, covering his eyes with his unharmed hand.

“Oh, so you do know him?”

“No, his assault was broadcasted the next day on campus news.”

Dr. Jeon pauses, trying his best not to release another dismayed sigh. Not only did Jaehyun refer to this man’s assault like he hadn’t done it, he doesn’t sound remorseful at all. “Okay, this Mr. Kim Iljung… do you think he deserved to be punished like that? Were you satisfied with what had happened to him?”

Without another beat, Jaehyun nods. “Yes.”

The incident at the bar must have scared her off, Jaehyun assumes, because after classes, she goes straight home to either rest up or study. It’s been nine weeks, and yes, he knows, he counts each day he hasn’t sent her a text. He knew she was home, probably asleep, but he was out for a jog so he thought he would stop by - by her window, he means. Sneaking up the emergency stairs, he peers into her room and cusses under his breath, “Oh shit.”

She had music playing loud enough that it escapes through the closed window. She left the lights open for some reason while she lay on her bed, stripped naked, legs spread apart and fingers dancing on her clit.

Jaehyun inwardly groans, kneeling down to get a better view and hide himself in the shadows. He’s palming himself, biting down on his lower lip to prevent him from being too loud. When he sees her slip a finger in, he pushes the band of his shorts down and takes his cock out of the fly of his briefs. He’s already leaking; throbbing in his hold. For weeks, he relied only on his memories and her pictures to avoid getting blue balls.

He can explode with only a few pumps while watching her pleasure herself. Even better that she had moaned followed with a whimper of his name.

“Yes, baby that’s it.” He couldn’t stop himself from saying, furiously chasing after his high when he sees she added another finger. He can’t wait for her to come first, he’ll need to leave soon.

When her free hand goes over her breast to give it a tight grip with a soft cry with name; Jaehyun can feel his balls tightening. If only she could see him, coming undone from the sight of her masturbating with the thought of him. God, he loves her.

Unable to contain it any longer, Jaehyun comes; squirting his seed onto the window pane. A groan escapes him and he knows she must have heard it; noticing how she suddenly stops and looks around the room. He ducks away while tucking himself back into his shorts just as she looks to where he was and decides in a split second to jump down from the second floor and hide among the trash bins.

“Fuck.” He breathes, landing on his feet and ducking between the garbage cans. Looking up, he sees her poke her head out the window and looking down the emergency staircase. He holds his breath in, hoping he’s completely concealed in the shadows, releasing it only when she shivers a little and retreat back into the room. When he hears her slam the window close and draw the curtains, he waits a few more seconds before standing up, dusting himself off, and walking away as casual as possible.

“Do you think what you did was wrong? Or do you think it was okay because she’s your girlfriend?” Dr. Jeon puts his pen down for second to stretch his cramping hand.

“I don’t think anything’s wrong with it. Like you said, she’s my girlfriend.”

“But did you consider how she would have felt about it?”

Jaehyun curtly laughs, “[Y/N] is an exhibitionist. I’m sure she would have liked it.”

Dr. Jeon hums, “Even if she didn’t know you actually were?”

Jaehyun falls silent, resuming his stare off with the ceiling.

“If she would have liked it as you claim, why did you run off?”

“Because we were on break,” Jaehyun snaps, “That were the rules we set.”

“Rules you had long broken. I know these sessions are for you, Jaehyun, but if you really love Ms. [Y/N], you would consider how this would affect her own mental health in the long run.”

With a deep sigh, Jaehyun’s brows knit together, “I know.”

Finals were next week. Jaehyun found out from Johnny that [Y/N] was spending an all-nighter at the library. He had just finished reviewing for the first three exams he decided to take a night jog to destress; also excusing it to check up on her and probably watch over her if she were to walk back to her dorm in the dead of the night.

After a few laps around the university park, he makes a quick detour towards the library where he chances upon her leaving. It was about time to cool down so he slows down to a stride, stops his playlist, and follows her, leaving a good distance between the two of them.

What he didn’t expect was [Y/N] making her own detour; walking towards the gymnasium. Jaehyun is confused; it’s been hours since it was closed. How was she getting in?

He watches in amusement as she jumps the fence after a quick scan of her environment, causing him to duck behind a tree. Without hesitating, he follows after her once more. When he enters the gymnasium with the same door she had just unlocked and just barely catches her slipping into the hall that leads to the pool, he should have known where she was off to.

The sound of water sloshing and her soft moan echoes from the open door, bringing a little grin on Jaehyun’s face. He loved watching her swim. He could tell how happy she is when she swam. Before he knows it, he walks up until the edge of the pool; watching her swim down to the bottom and noting the bright red underwear set she had. He looks over to the side and sees her bag and discarded clothes.

“Oh my god! Jaehyun!” He whips his head towards her, “You scared me!”

It wasn’t his intention to be discovered, but he’s not going to let the chance of seeing her swim up close pass. He takes out his earphones and chuckles, “I’m sorry.”

She frowns at him, “How did you even know I was here?”

“I was out for a jog when I saw you jump the fence.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. When she blushes at the fact she was caught trespassing, Jaehyun squats down and smiles at her, “If anything, I should be asking you why you’re sneaking into the pool after closing time.”

Then he felt his breath hitch when she bites down on her lip, swimming over to where he stood, “The past weeks have been hard on me and I need to destress. Won’t you help me, Jae?”

He wants to say ‘yes,’ but he just stared her down,  “I don’t think that’s how taking breaks from a relationship works, [Y/N].”

“We’ve made it this far, Jae. Can’t we cheat this break thing?”

Already have, babe.

“[Y/N]” He warns, although he can feel his resolve crumbling down already.

“Please, Jae. For me?” She unconsciously bats her lashes at him and he’s annoyed at himself at how he loves that.

Sighing, Jaehyun shrugs, “I don’t have my swimming trunks.”

She giggles at him, “If you haven’t noticed, I’m in my underwear.”

He watches her a little bit more and he thinks she must have thought he was hesitating, because she reaches up and unzips his jacket for him. “Do you need help or are you going to let me play by myself?”

‘Not this time, baby.’ He thinks, smirking as he rises from the ground, discarding his jacket, and peeling his shirt away.

Jaehyun pretends he doesn’t see her practically salivating when she sees his body. He pushes his running shorts down and stands in his black boxers.

She’s biting down on your lips again when he kicks his shoes off and he smirks at her before diving head first into the water. When he resurfaced, he has her trapped on the other side of the pool after swimming underneath her; trying to chase her as she playfully swim away.

Jaehyun wipes away the excess water off his face while she wraps her arms around his shoulders.

“Hi.” She whispers, laughing when he flashes her a smile as she helps push his wet hair back.

“Hi.” He breathes, grabbing onto her thighs and guiding her legs around him. “So you needed to destress?”

She nods her head, sliding the hand that pushed his hair back down the side of his face. “How are you gonna help me?”

A number of options spill through his mind as he pulls her hips closer and grinds his erection against her crotch, eliciting a cute, silent gasp from her. “I can think of a few things.”

“C-care to show me?” She stutters and Jaehyun found it so endearing that he just had to kiss her for it.

The open kiss was messy and sloppy, and it was desperate, needy, and hungry. It was absolutely carnal, especially when she claws his bare back, looking for support as she slid down his body. Jaehyun pushes her against the side of the pool for leverage while his tongue invades her mouth, stroking her own as one of his hands roughly grabs her breasts, pushing it above the water’s surface.

He watches her throw her head back and rested it against the poolside as he clumsily thumbs her hardened nipples before leaning down to trail a sloppy kiss from her cheek, to her jaw, and stopped short on the side of her neck.

Jaehyun was losing it. He needed to have her then and there; but then a high pitched whistle hurls him back to reality.

“Shame on you two, fucking in a public pool.” Deep laughter follows afterwards.

He glares over to the entrance where a group of boys watched in amusement. He can feel [Y/N] shrink into him, obviously humiliated, and he covers her body from them.

“Do you mind?” He snaps at them, defensively putting his arms around her.

“Yeah, man, we do mind.” One of them hollers, “We wanted to swim in sperm-free water.”

“Jae, let’s just go.” She whispers to him, but he doesn’t react immediately; dark eyes glaring straight to the space behind her. His breathing had slowed and became heavy with explicit images of what he could possibly do to them, if only she wasn’t present.

“Jaehyun,” She cups his cheek and makes him face her, “Baby, let’s just go.”

It takes him another second to react. He closes his eyes, ignoring the violent thoughts, and kisses her forehead. “Okay.”

The guys didn’t pay attention to them anymore as they jumped into the far end of the pool. Jaehyun helped her get out of the pool and instinctively, he checked on the guys as he got out after her. Just as he expected, one of them was checking her out while she bent over to grab her things.

“Hey!” He shouts, “I’d appreciate it if you stopped checking my girlfriend out.”

“Can’t help it, man. No wonder you can’t keep your hands off of her.” And this asshole had the gall to look at her once more in an overly appreciative manner that made his blood boil like the incident at the bar.

Jaehyun balls his fists up, trying to get the rational side of him to calm himself down.

“Jaehyun, leave him alone. It’s not worth our time, come on.” She reminds him; her words and worried tone alone was enough to calm him, but the asshole just had to interrupt.

“Do her real good, man!”

He’s seeing red again, mind completely flooded with ways on how to beat this guy up, but she’s holding onto him with a vice grip and begging softly, “Baby, please, I just want to go home.”

And he finally relents to her request. Snatching the rest of their clothing up, they both head for the locker rooms to dry up and dress before leaving the premises.

“Let me walk you home.” Jaehyun pulls her to his side after seeing her shiver.  After a while, he quietly says, “I’m sorry about those dickheads.”

“It’s not your fault. Maybe it’s the universe saying we shouldn’t be cheating on taking a break.” She huddles closer to him when a breeze blew by. “But I really miss you, Jae.”

This makes him happy. He kisses the top of her head, “I miss you, too. We have a week left. I think we can hold out until then.”

“Until then? Hold out, what exactly?” She teases, spinning on her heels as they arrive at the doorstep of her dorm.

He leans down and kisses the spot between her jaw and ear. “What could have happened back in the pool and so much more in the privacy of our homes.” He purposely whispers in a deep and low tone, tickling her ear and making her pull away with a short laugh.

“I can’t wait, then.” She flirtatiously says, and he leans down to kiss her lips. “Get home safely, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry for not helping you destress.” Jaehyun slightly pouts at her and she smiles at him.

“I had this time with you.” She shrugs her shoulders, “It helped.”

“You can always play with yourself again.” He chuckles under his breath, and a little louder, says, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She quietly responded.

He hopes she didn’t hear what he said as he walks away. Waiting for the sound of the dorm doors closing, he looks back to see she had already entered. She’s back in the safety of her home, but Jaehyun still feels unsettled with what had happened back at the pool.

Forget the serious case of blue balls; he’s furious; immensely angered by the guys - especially the one who basically undressed her with his eyes and wasn’t ashamed to show it. He pulls his phone out to check the time. It’s past midnight and the guys are probably still at the pool.

By the time Jaehyun returns to the gymnasium, the guys were all leaving; not even being sneaky about it. The typical troublemaking frat boys from the other side of the campus, Jaehyun thinks with a scoff. He memorizes their faces as they noisily went home before he does the same.

It takes Jaehyun a few days to find the guy who disrespected [Y/N]. He finds him smoking behind the bleachers of the soccer field all alone - perfect. He had requested for two bodyguards to accompany him just in case he had his friends with him.

The guy recognizes him when he approaches, a lazy grin growing on his face. “Hey, weren’t you that dude at the pool with the hot girl?”

Jaehyun’s fist are already balled up at his side. So the fucker remembers him because of [Y/N]? Oh, boy.

“What’s up, man? Did you need a light?” He cheers, taking his lighter out from his pocket and handed it to Jaehyun.

It disgusts him at how he thinks it’s okay to talk to him like they were long time friends.

He ignores the lighter and stares him down, “I don’t like how you looked at my girlfriend and made crude comments about her.”

The guy looks at him like he had said something stupid, snorting, “What? Aw, come on, man, don’t act like you didn’t finish elsewhere. Besides, your girlfriend? In that little red thing? I would have-”

He couldn’t finish his lewd statement because Jaehyun reels his arm back and swings a clean cut across this stranger’s face, sending him stumbling back to the floor.

“Don’t you fucking say shit about her.” Jaehyun growls, still trying to keep himself grounded and avoid sending the guy to the hospital - mostly because he’s had a good look at his face.

“Jongmin?! Yo, what’s going on here?” Four other guys show up but Jaehyun’s already taking two steps towards the closest one and throws a hard punch on their jaw.

Everything after that was a blur. The next thing he knew his bodyguards are restraining his arms and pulling him up from the ground where one of the guys were groaning, nose bleeding profusely. Jaehyun blinks at him, eyes darting to the other bodies scattered around, writhing in pain and covered in bruises.

His bodyguards are asking him if he’s okay; if he needs to go to the hospital or be escorted home. Jaehyun’s body is both numb but also buzzing with adrenaline. Did he do this by himself?

“I’m okay. Take care of them. Pay them to shut up.” He drags his thumb on the corner of his mouth where he felt something wet, pulling away to see dark red smudged across his finger.

“You weren’t aware of your actions while you were performing them?” Dr. Jeon repeats, pushing his glasses up his nose bridge.

Jaehyun shakes his head, sipping from the tea he requested before starting the session. “Like I blacked out.”

Dr. Jeon hums once again, reading over what he had jotted down. “So like with what had happened to Mr. Iljung, you believe they deserved what had happened to them?”

“Yes.”

“And you were satisfied with it?”

“Of course.”

“Despite the injury your received?” Dr. Jeon gestures to his hand and Jaehyun dryly laughs at him.

“I didn’t get this from them.”

This was the last day of finals for everyone. This was the day Jaehyun can finally have her back in his arms. She should be done with her last exam already while he still had one more to take. Ten told him that everyone was going to celebrate at the mall, so Jaehyun said he’d catch up once he finishes his exam. But he couldn’t wait at all. He rarely flexes his wealth, but if it meant being with her again, he’d do it in an instant.

His professor wasn’t so keen about letting him take the exam 30 minutes earlier; but with the reasoning that it’s better than having him taken later on that would be more suspicious and a few thousand bills slipped in, he took the exam half an hour earlier than his classmates and finished just before any of them come inside the room.

He’s buzzing with excitement, fidgeting in his seat as he had a chauffeur drive him to the mall instead of hailing a cab to save time. She must be feeling the same way, waiting for him to come to her and end the stupid break.

But when he finds her enjoying herself, laughing boisterously and poking fun at Doyoung, he was… dismayed. He knows they go way back and is very aware of Doyoung’s sexual orientation, yet jealousy nipped at him. He sees her eyes fluttering over at him and for some reason, he dodges out of view when she looks away.

Jaehyun’s heart is racing. He knows there’s no reason for him to feel this way. Maybe it’s just excitement from being able to be with her. He goes to the men’s bathroom to collect his thoughts before returning to where she was.

When he sees her and the rest walking towards a fast food joint, he cheers himself up, mischievously creeping up behind her and Doyoung, who had his arm around her shoulders, with intentions to scare her, but then he hears:

“You’re lucky I love you-”

And something came over Jaehyun that just took control of his entire being.

He grabs Doyoung by his shoulder and punches him in the face strong enough to push him to the floor, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? Keeping her warm for me?”

“Dude, what the hell?!” Doyoung scrambles onto his feet with Ten’s help.

He tries to step forward but [Y/N] blocks him, “Jae, what is wrong with you?”

“What is wrong with  me? I finished my exam early and rushed here to see you, but I see him,” He juts his chin towards Doyoung, “With his arm around you.”

“What’s happening here?” A mall security guard approached your group.

“A misunderstanding, nothing we can’t handle ourselves. Sorry for the trouble.” She bows her head at him and grab Jaehyun’s arm. “Can we talk outside?”

He casts a glare at Doyoung before letting her pull him out. On the way to the exit, Jaehyun recognizes the group of boys he ‘talked’ to last week. They were laughing to themselves, only to abruptly stop when they see him and immediately bow their heads and steer clear from his path. Jaehyun could feel the power coursing through his veins at the sight.

[Y/N] spins around to face him once they were both in the parking lot,  “Do you want to explain yourself for what you did back there?”

Jaehyun frowns at her; realizing the weight of his outburst, “He had his arm around you.”

“I - Jae! He is Doyoung. Kim Doyoung. My best friend since pre-school. My best friend who is asexual. You know that!”

“He can’t be asexual forever. For all we know, he’s already got a crush on you!”

She looks exasperated, “Why are you being jealous of him? He’s my best friend and will always just be my best friend.”

“He just said he loves you!”

“And I love him back, as in, platonically, which I think is what he meant!” She groans in frustration. “You’re being ridiculous!”

Jaehyun scowls at her. Can’t she see what the reason behind why he did that? “I’m being protective of my girlfriend!”

She purses her lips and stares him down, “Your girlfriend that you’re technically on a break with.”

“What?” His feels his body tense up. Finals are over, therefore the break is over, too.

“Maybe we should extend the break for a week or two.” She began to step back, but he follows.

“What?” Jaehyun repeats, eyes wide and full of worry, “Why?”

“Because, Jae,” He flinches at her tone, “I need time to get over what you just did inside to my best friend and you need time to contemplate over your actions and apologize to Doyoung.”

“(Y/N).” He whines. This can’t be happening.

“Jaehyun, please.” She crossed her arms over her chest, defensively, and this stops him in his tracks; dejectedly looking at her with pleading eyes, hoping it wavers her but she just shook her head with regret and turned away, walking to the mall front.

Jaehyun watches her, heart racing so fast and hard that he feels like he’s having a heart attack. She’s walking away from him. On her own volition. Angry. At him. He wants to be mad, too. Not at her. Not at Doyoung, but at himself. This isn’t how he’d imagine ending the break to be like. He thought he could take her out on a date, not extend the stupid thing one week longer all because he couldn’t stop himself.

There’s nothing he could do right now, except fix his mess with Doyoung. He had to let her cool off. He sees her get in a car that he presumes to be an Uber and now he feels twice as bad that he spoiled her celebration with her friends.

Jaehyun returns inside and finds Doyoung coming from the men’s bathroom. “Doyoung!”

Doyoung looks at him and immediately looks both annoyed and apprehensive as he walks up to him.

“Are you okay?”

“A little sore, but I’m not bleeding or feel like my nose is broken.”

Jaehyun sighs, “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

Doyoung shifts his weight to one leg and crosses his arms, “It’s not a secret you’re obsessed with [Y/N], Jaehyun. I get that you’re possessive of her and all that, but you need to remember she’s my best friend. She’s practically a sister to me.”

“I know. I know.” He groans, massaging his temples. “I just really don’t know what came over. Look, you’re the only other guy I trust [Y/N] with. I’m more at ease when I know she’s out partying with you guys when you’re around - don’t tell Ten, I won’t hear the end of it.”

This makes Doyoung chuckle, “I feel the same way. I mean, you can get out of hand… but I think she’s safer with you than with anybody else.”

“That means a lot to me, Doyoung.” Jaehyun weakly smiles at him, “I’m really sorry again. I can take you to the hospital and pay for everything.”

“I swear, I’m okay. Let’s just have dinner with the rest.”

He shakes his head, “I’ll skip this time. [Y/N] went home already and I don’t feel good about upsetting her.”

He offers him a sympathetic smile, “Don’t stress about it. Let her cool down for a day or two and the whole thing will blow over sooner than you think.”

Jaehyun believed Doyoung, but it’s been three days and not a single peep from her. She was probably holding onto her word about extending the break for a whole, full week, but Jaehyun was at his wit’s end. He distracted himself by going to the gym, taking multiple jogs, or just simply locking himself up his room and waiting for some online activity from her.

He needed to do something.

After an afternoon run, Jaehyun picks up a cheap, old prepaid phone and returns home to shower. He pulls on a shirt and some ripped jeans, and sits on his bed while punching in her phone number on the old phone. He hesitates pressing the faded green phone icon button on the small device; he knows this is going to traumatize her. But what else can he do? He can’t just wait anymore.

He flips the phone close and tucks it into his pocket. Johnny isn’t sleeping here tonight, so Jaehyun doesn’t have to be worried about looking suspicious as he sneaks in and out of their dorm. Before he leaves, he grabs a hoodie and a mask.

It was past 8 when Jaehyun arrives at her dorm; it was dark already thanks to the sky being covered with thick clouds and the sidewalks barely illuminated by the street lamps. Her room had no light in it and Jaehyun finds it odd, but decides against walking up the emergency stairs. He takes the old phone out of his pocket and dials her number, putting the device to his ear.

It rings thrice before she picks up, her groggy voice told Jaehyun she was merely asleep. “Hello?”

Jaehyun wants to talk to her, but he keeps quiet; focusing on the background noise at her end. He hears the volume of the television soften and the distinct squeak of her couch as he assumes she was sitting up from it.

“Hello? Who is this?” She asks again, yet he still doesn’t say anything as he carefully walks up to the front of the dorm where the window of her living room was. He can make out her figure by the window; watching her walk away from it after she had hung up on him.

He’s hidden by tall shrubs as he tries to guess what she was doing inside. She didn’t open the living room lights, but the soft glow emanating from the window tells him she was in the kitchen. His own phone vibrates and he quickly checks it, seeing that she was online and liking posts and photos of their friends. He quietly monitors her activity until he sees her reacting to Taeyong’s photo.

Taeyong was his friend. He introduced them to each other and even he can’t deny how good looking the boy was. He’d normally let it pass, but she specifically used the ‘heart eyes’ react button and she only ever use that on his posts for her and never with anybody else. Jealousy is creeping back over him, momentarily disrupted by the distinct sound of Minkyung and Yebin talking loudly as they approach their dorm.

Jaehyun ducks down and waits for them to enter the building before he redials her number, pulling the hood of his jacket until it shadowed his face and putting his mask on to cover half of his face. He’s angry; he doesn’t mean to be, but it’s the only thing he can feel at the moment.

She sounded aggravated when she picked his call up, “Hello? Hello? This better not be a prank call.”

He wanted to laugh at how cute she was trying to be intimidating. He doesn’t try to hide his breathing this time, letting it barely fill the silence of his end of the call.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Jaehyun looks up and he sees her… staring at him.

Well, hello there.

He lets out a soft heave and ends the call when she starts screaming.

He quickly fleas the scene, especially hearing her roommates’ concerned shouts. As he runs away, he takes out the battery of the old phone and tosses it in the bushes when he was a good five blocks away. When he’s back at home, he’s experiencing a flurry of emotions; he’s worried about her, first and foremost, he had never heard her scream like that before. He also felt disgusted at himself for scaring her. He feels a bit antsy because what if someone had seen him? But among these, he doesn’t regret what he had done. It felt like the only way - to him, at least - for her to go back to him.

Jaehyun, like most nights, couldn’t sleep at all; but when he does, it only lasted three hours. He was fully awake by 10AM because he receives a text from Johnny asking if he wanted food. Doyoung had graciously called him thrice last night, but didn’t pick up to make it seem like he slept early and responded to his messages in faux panic when he woke up.

Johnny’s home by 11 and Jaehyun is waiting for her to text him on the couch.

“Flowers for you, good sir.” Johnny fakes an English accent as he hands the bouquet Jaehyun requested to him. “And a nice, warm continental breakfast for brunch.”

He helps him prepare their food on the coffee table, promising to pay him for the flowers.

“Hey, I heard from Ten about [Y/N]. Is she okay?” Johnny slides him the tupperware of pancakes.

“I don’t know. Doyoung says she is and her roommates are taking care of her.” Jaehyun lets out a sigh to convince Johnny how worried he was. “I wish I hadn’t slept early. I would have gone to her immediately if I knew what had happened.”

Johnny nods, “At least she wasn’t physically harmed.”

“I hope they find that fucker.” He hopes the fuck not.

After eating, Jaehyun excuses himself to get ready to visit her. In the privacy of his room, he starts to get excited. There’s a certain way he wishes the scenarios turns out. He likes to imagine that she’ll run up to him and realize how much safer she is with him. He’ll finally get to kiss her and she’ll let him take over -

Damn it.

He didn’t think he was that excited, but it’s nothing he can’t take care of. So he stands in front of her picture and takes care of himself, promising to himself that he’ll clean it up once he gets back from your place.

He’s in the shower afterwards, generously lathering himself and scrubbing away the sins he committed against her. He wants to be quick, but he also wants to take his time to prepare for her - because she would take all these extra steps for him when they would meet, why shouldn’t he do the same? He’s so excited to see her that he thinks he hears her calling out to him from his bedroom.

After he finally rinses off and dries his hair, he throws on a loose shirt and boxer shorts on. He leaves his towel over his head while he brushes his teeth and uses it to wipe his lips after spitting. As he exits his bathroom, he stops in his tracks.

Was he excited enough to hallucinate? But he was sure that was her, turned away from him in the middle of his room.

“[Y/N]?”

She gasps, spinning around to face him. He caught the briefest flash of fear in her eyes and he realizes that evidences of last night were present all around the room. He was ready to explain himself, but then she’s choking out a sob and running towards him.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He automatically wraps his arms around her, smoothing her hair down. “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re safe with me.”

He holds her tight, letting her cry out the remaining fear from the previous night; feeling just a tiny but guilty while placing kisses on her head and rubbing her back.

“Oh god,” She breathes in deeply, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” He pulls away, tilting her face towards him. “How are you? Did you get any sleep? If I found out any sooner, I would have gone over to you.”

She shakes her head, “I couldn’t sleep properly, even though Yebin and Minkyung stayed with me.”

Doyoung must haven’t told her he’s been updating him about how she was. “Have you eaten at least? Let me cook something for you to eat.”

“I-I… Don’t leave me here.”

Jaehyun offers her a soft smile, “No one’s going to hurt you while I’m around. But if you really don’t want to stay in my room, you can come with me to the kitchen.”

He leads her to the kitchen by the hand, running his thumb over her knuckles. He makes small talk with her to get her mind off about last night, listening intently at her response while he fries some eggs and slices of pork. It didn’t take too long for him to serve it to her with some reheated rice from last night.

“Eat up, baby girl.”

“Baby girl?” She smirks, “Should I call you daddy, then?”

Jaehyun laughs, feeling his cheeks warm up. “Be careful what you wish for.” He whispers into her ear, trying to sound seductive but ends up chuckling.

He watches her eat and from time to time, letting her feed him some. His mind is daydreaming all of a sudden; this is what he wants to see in the future: feeding her meals in her shared home, keeping her safe and happy, being hers and vice versa.

“What are your plans after graduation?” He asks out of the blue.

“My plans?” She repeats after swallowing.

He nods, waiting for her to answer.

“Get a job?” She shrugs, “I haven’t thought about that at all, actually.”

“How about moving into a new apartment?”

She pauses for a moment, “I don’t know if I can afford it, but my contract for my apartment right now ends two months after graduation so I should probably look into it.”

“Well,” Jaehyun massages his nape and avoids her gaze; he doesn’t know why he’s suddenly nervous about asking, “My parents graduation gift for me is my own apartment room in downtown Seoul. I was wondering if, you know, you’d want to move in with me.”

She stares at him and he stares back, waiting. “Will your parents be okay with that? I mean, I thought you and Johnny would still be sharing an apartment.”

“He and Ten have their own plans, besides, I’m not sharing a bed with Johnny.” That makes her giggle and he lets out a short chuckle of his own, “And about my parents… they love you like their own daughter. They wouldn’t mind. I’m willing to bet they’re hoping for grandchildren in two years.”

“Woah there, big boy.” She laughs, “How about we take baby steps instead of hoping of seeing our baby take their first ones, huh?”

“Tell that to my parents.” He grumbles like a child and sees her reaching up to pinch his cheeks. His parents have always been vocal about wanting her to be the mother of their grandchildren; if only he knew how much he wishes that, too.

“Anyways, I’d love to.”

He blinks at her, breaking out of his reverie “Hm?”

“I’d love to move in with you.”

It takes a second for Jaehyun to grin at your answer and he swears it’s stretching his cheeks out too much that it almost hurts, “Really?”

She giggles at his reaction, biting down on her lower lip while she nods. “Yes, really.”

He pulls her in for multiple kisses, making her laugh in between each one. He kisses her longer and he could feel her body reacting to him already. His tongue grazes her lips and she instantly grants him access into her mouth, moaning at the sensation of his tongue sliding against hers.

His hands snake onto her thighs, roughly massaging them before pulling her tightly against his body. She clings onto him; mouths undetached as he hauls her up and takes her back to the bedroom.

Jaehyun sets her down on his bed with utmost care like she was a one of a kind piece of fine china. He pulls away from the kiss, leaving a string of saliva between their lips before it snaps as he straightened himself to remove his shirt.

He’s been waiting for this for too long.

“Oh, god.” She groans, “I can’t believe I lasted 4 months.” She palms him over his boxers with one hand while the other travelled upwards, fingers dancing across the expanse of the hard muscles of his abdomen and chest. Before she can slip her hands into his shorts, he grabs both of her wrists.

“I still owe you a destresser.” Jaehyun reminds her with a matching smirk.

She lets him undress her, his eyes darting to every newly exposed skin and dropping each of clothing articles on the floor by his feet. When she’s finally stripped off of all her clothes and underwear, he gently pushes her back until she’s lying on the bed. With a light tap on her thighs, her legs part to make room for him and it pleases him so much at how receptive she is to him.

He removes his boxers and kneels on the bed, stroking himself as he eyes her pussy. He leans down and kisses her, “I’m going to show you how much I missed you.”

“Don’t hold back.” She challenged and he playfully scoffs at her.

“When have I ever held back?”

Before she could answer, Jaehyun dips a finger into her core. A shaky sigh escapes her as he languidly moves his finger around, feeling her inner walls and how wet she was.

“Show me how much you missed me first.” He quietly says, almost begging, “Use my hand.”

She was whimpering softly while she covered his hand with her own, grinding her clit into his palm. Her fingers tapped onto his middle finger and he understood what she wanted, inserting it along with his pointer finger. He dragged them against her inner walls that caused her to softly moan.

God, she was so hot.

She lifted her hips up, hoping to get some more leverage but he flexes his middle finger and it brushes against something spongy inside her, making her gasp and dropping her weight back down to the bed.

‘Don’t worry, baby,’ Jaehyun thinks, ‘I’ll take care of you.’

With no warning, he pumps his fingers into her, curling them inside before pulling out. He knows how much she loves that and he can feel her body already starting to convulse. He continued his actions, going harder and faster, ignoring the signs of her oncoming orgasm.

She lets out a cry, grabbing onto his wrist with both hands as her body violently shook.

Not wasting any time, Jaehyun takes whatever essence of her climax his fingers collected and smears it over his cock, giving it a few more pumps before he slides it in her.

Her moan may or may not have been too loud for the neighbors to hear, but he didn’t give a fuck. His baby wants to be loud because of him and only him, then let them send noise complaints. Despite being sensitive and still high from her orgasm, he watches her trying to spread her thighs further for him.

Her pussy is sucking him in as he bottoms out in her and it’s driving him crazy.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so tight. You feel amazing.” He mumbles before he begins to thrust, slow and deep. He leans over and kisses her neck, alternating between sucking and licking every patch of skin he can get his mouth on.

“I’m going to mark you so other guys wouldn’t think twice about hitting on you, okay?” He thrusts a little too hard to punctuate his question and she groans in response.

“Yes, yes,” She gasps, her hands finding purchase on his shoulders. “I’m yours.”

He lets out an animalistic growl he didn’t know he could make, hips moving more erratically with her words. “Say that again.”

“I’m yours.” She chants, almost like a prayer.

With every repetition of her invocation, Jaehyun snaps his hips into her, gaining more speed and power. She’s all he’s ever wanted and here she is offering herself to him, willingly admitting herself to him. It’s enough to make him cum but he holds out for her.

Her body thrashed against him as he gave her a second orgasm for the night. He helps her ride it out, keeping her hips still as he shallowly pushed into Her. She clenched around him and he moans at the sensation.

“Shit, that feels so good, baby.” He rasps, throwing his head back. Too good.

“Won’t you come?” She asked with a pout.

If she only knew the power she held on him; he could explode any second now.

Miraculously, he somehow controls himself as he slows his thrusts and studies the state of her body; still shivering from her high, how his kisses on her neck have bloomed into a bouquet of purple flowers, how her breasts rose with every haggard breath. He takes one into his hand, softly palming it. “I’m getting there.”

“Is there anything you want me to do?” Her pouty lips were so tempting that it gave him an idea.

He pulls out all of a sudden and crawls until his knees are on either side of her chest. “Open up.”

Obediently, she parts her lips and sticks her tongue out a little.

He groans; she looked so innocent but lewd at the same time. Taking his cock into his hand and pumping as fast as he can, he places the tip on her tongue when beads of pre-cum ooze out.

She licks it up immediately, as if to coax him to ejaculate by running her tongue on the underside of his cock’s head.

Jaehyun is hissing out curses one after the other as he finally found the final push he needed to come. White, hot liquid shoots into her mouth and amidst of her swallowing it, the remaining cum splashes onto her cupid’s bow, cheek, and chin. He cries out in anguish when she pushes herself up to suck him dry with hollowed cheeks. As she falls back to bed, one last spurt escapes him and hits her brow.

Seeing it dribble down her eyelid, he uses his thumb to swipe it off. He tried to clean it on his sheets, but she grabs hold of his wrist and guides it to her mouth, collecting the salty substance with her tongue.

“Jesus christ, [Y/N].” Jaehyun exhales, feeling his cock twitch at the salacious scene and how her tongue swirled around his finger.

“I just missed how you tasted.” She giggles, kissing his thumb. “Still delicious.”

He combs her sweat-slicked hair and chuckles, “Well, I’m sure you taste sweeter.”

She juts out her lower lip at him, feigning innocence, “How would you know? You haven’t tasted me in months.”

“Oh?” His eyes glaze over once again, “Is that a challenge?”

“Baby,” She cooed, “It’s an invitation.”

She’s going to be the death of him, he thinks as he smirks at her. “Don’t mind if I do, then.” He trails a kiss from between her breasts down to her navel. His tongue licks her clit, lightly lapping up her juices as he moves lower. He hears her moan and feels her body reacting; encouraging him to keep going. He uses a hand to spread her lips apart and probes her entrance in slow, sensual figures of eights with his tongue.

But then he realizes that she had stopped responding to his actions, so he pulls away and looks at her. She was staring off to the side and his gaze follows hers and once he spots what had grabbed her attention, he hovers above her and places a hand on either side of her head.

“Look at me.” He commands.

“You couldn’t have…” She murmurs, looking back at you with concerned eyes.

There’s no way out of this. There’s clearly blood on that bat he keeps forgetting to dispose of. He had to explain himself.

“He touched you.” He simply states, devoid of any emotion.

“Jaehyun!” She reprimands, but he cuts her off.

“He disrespected you, [Y/N]. I wasn’t going to let that pass by!”

“How did you even know I was the bar? Were you following me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were safe!”

She pushes him off, scooting off the bed and picking out her clothes from the floor. “Well, I was! Yebin and Minkyung were there with me. We left before he could do anything else. You didn’t have to beat him up with a bat! Jesus christ! Jae! You’re wanted by campus police.”

“He got what he deserved, [Y/N].” He coolly shrugs his shoulders, grabbing his boxers and slipping them on while watching her dress.

“And what about those guys from the pool?” She suddenly looks back at him, accusingly.

“I only meant to go after the one who couldn’t keep his eyes off you.” Jaehyun admits, “But his friends came looking for him, so I had to deal with them as well.”

“You took them by your--” She shuts her eyes in frustration and disbelief.

‘Trust me, love, I didn’t think I could do it by myself’ He inwardly scoffs, staring at her intently, ‘But I did, for you.’

Suddenly, she’s staring at him with an unreadable expression. Her gaze shifts to his study table where he left his mask and burner phone on. “...w-were you the guy last night?”

Just admit it all, Jung.

“Yes. I was outside your window, too, when you masturbated.”

She gapes at him with horrified astonishment, crying, “Why?! You scared me shitless!”

“That was the point.” He almost rolled his eyes at her.

Her jaw drops, unable to formulate a proper response, nevertheless, he continues to explain himself.

“I had to scare you back to me.”

“What?!”

“I was losing you.” His voice finally breaks from the monotony and raises an octave higher. “You asked for an extension when I was at my limit. I missed you!”

“I was mad! You punched my best friend, Jaehyun! I had the right to be! And it didn't mean you were losing me. I just needed time to cool down!” She pinched the bridge of her nose. Never, in the four years, they have spent together did they argue like this. “I can’t do this.”

Jaehyun’s ears start to ring at her words.

She tries to leave but he blocks her path.

“Can’t do what?” His voice had dropped, glaring her down.

She’s visibly taken aback from his demeanor, hindering her to respond to him, so he asks again in a raised voice.

“Can’t do what, [Y/N]?!”

“Let me go, Jae. I need to go.”

“Go where? Who are you running off to, huh? Doyoung? Taeyong?”

“Why are you dragging Taeyong into this?”

Jaehyun scowls, “I saw you giving his picture a heart eyes react.”

“Oh my god!” She shouts, “Do you hear yourself right now? So I liked his new photo because I thought his new hairstyle looked good. He’s our friend, remember? Jaehyun, please, let me leave.”

“And what? Extend our break even more? I don’t think so.” He reaches for her hand, but she avoids him. “[Y/N].”

“You’re honestly scaring me right now.” She backs away until she’s pressed up against the wall. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because I love you, [Y/N],” He steps forward, doing his very best to control himself at the moment, “Everything I do is for you. I have to protect you. If you could only see how other guys look at you, how they would undress you with their eyes - I, I can’t let them disrespect you like that. They need to know that you’re mine and I’m yours.”

“And if you really, really do love me, Jae,” Her eyes begin to tear up, “You would let me leave.”

What? Leave?

“No. W-why?” His eyebrows scrunched up in frustration “Do you want to break up?”

She’s stumbling over her words, “I’m really scared right now, Jaehyun. Just please give me time to think--”

“Answer me!” He yelled, making her flinch in her spot. The last thread that kept him sane had snapped. He traps her against the wall, “Are you thinking about breaking up with me?”

“I don’t feel safe with you right now.” She breathes.

Her words were barely audible but they rang like sirens in Jaehyun’s ears. His head keeps repeating it over and over again: she’s not safe with you.

His vision bleeds red and he already knows what’s going to happen so he steps away from her, his subconsciousness reminding him to keep her out of harm’s way. He needed to hit something and it definitely won’t be her. His eyes get wet and blurry as they searched around the room for something, and they fell on the full length mirror attached to the bathroom door. Huffing, he takes two large steps towards it and swings as hard as he can.

He thinks he hears her screams as his fist connected to the mirror, creating a large, cracked web onto it. He lets the pain throb from his knuckles, before he repeatedly punches the mirror, over and over again; smashing chunks of the glass and sending them crashing to the floor.

“Jae, stop!” He thinks she yelled that to him, but he’s unsure. He just wants to let it out.

But he feels her grabbing his arms and stopping him, “Jaehyun!”

“Go away! I don’t want to hurt you,” He spares her a tormented glance. His cheeks feel wet; he didn’t even know he was crying. “I can’t hurt you, so let me--”

He attempts to throw another punch, but she holds him back.

Both of them struggled with one another, until he nudges her away and faces her, “You hate me!” He cries.

She shakes her head in denial, but he doesn’t believe you so repeats himself.

“You hate me.”

“I never said that.” She squeaked, staring into his eyes.

“You wanted to break up.” Jaehyun grabs a fistful of his hair, shutting his eyes as tightly as he can. The voices in his head chanted his words back at him.

“I never said that, either.” He hears her whisper.

He feels you touch his face and he flinches away it at first, snapping his eyes wide open like an injured beast being cornered, but the way she looked at him made him drop his defenses.

“I’m sorry.” He chokes out, sobbing like a little boy. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

He repeats his apology over and over until he feels her pull him down, letting his head rest on the crook of her neck. “I can’t lose you, [Y/N]. I can’t. I just wanted to protect you.”

“You’re not gonna lose me and you won’t.” She runs one of her hands down his back while the other combed through his hair.

He pulls away, tears still flowing down his cheeks, “You’re not leaving me?”

She searches for something in his eyes, before slowly cocking her head and offering him an unsure smile as he lightheartedly points out: “I mean, I have to go home sooner or later. But I can spend the night if you want to.”

“I want you to.” He mumbles and she smiles up at him.

“Then I’ll stay the night.” She pulls him down until his forehead was touching hers. Playing with the short hairs on his nape, she whispers onto his lips, “I love you.”

He’s unsure if he should believe her, but casts his doubt away. He smiles back at her, “I love you, too.”

“Let’s get your hand cleaned up and wrapped, okay?” She kisses his cheek and leads him out the room, careful not to step on any glass shards.

As she knelt in front of him, trying not to vomit at the sight of his broken and bloody hand while fishing out the little shards of glass with a pair of tweezers, Jaehyun’s finally coming into terms the gravity of his condition.

Maybe she truly was unsafe with him; but why didn’t she run away when he had given her the chance to? He had given her a glimpse of the monster inside him, yet instead of fleeing, she stays to tame and satiate him. An immense of wave of love overcomes him; there’s absolutely no doubt in his mind that he wants her and only her for the rest of his life.

Jaehyun jerks his hand back when she attempts to remove some chunks of glass shards embedded too deep onto his knuckles with tweezers. “Ow!”

“You were literally punching the mirror 30 minutes ago! Give me your hand!” She hisses, pulling his hand back and resting it on top of the blood-stained towel on his lap.

He winced every now and then, biting his tongue when it had hurt a tad too much for him to handle.

“I think I got them all out.” She says after a while, inspecting it under the torchlight of her phone, “Uh, yeah, okay. Go wash it with warm water and come back here.”

Jaehyun quietly obeys, standing up from his seat and taking the bowl of glass shards with him.

After doing what he’s been told, he disposes of the glass shards and bloody towel. Returning to his seat, he dries his hand with a new towel.

She tends to his wound once more, dabbing it with disinfectant. “Jae, we need to talk about what happened.”

“I know.” He solemnly whispers; he had hoped this could easily blow over without the need to discuss it, but he doubts you would ever forget what had happened. “I’m… not okay.”

She patiently waits for him to continue, showing him she’s confused by his statement; looking up at him briefly before taking a roll of gauze to wrap his hand with.

“I…” He licks his lips, “I’m diagnosed with this mental disorder…”

“And how is your relationship now after you told her about your disorder?”

Jaehyun glances down at his injury; she had rebandaged it again for him today, even though he could have had a professional do it. It was a simple act of love for him. “Like it never happened.”

“Oh, then she understands then? That’s good-”

“But,” Jaehyun sits up, hunching forward and resting his forearms on his thighs to support his weight, his fingers just loosely woven together in front of him. He blankly stares at the small altar his doctor had in his office. He was a very religious man, but he oddly never pushed religion onto him during their sessions. “She seems more… careful.”

“I see.” Dr. Jeon massages his chin, “I would say it’s normal. She’s still processing it; she’ll eventually understand.”

“But when she understands, will she stay?”

His doctor frowns at him, “I can’t answer for Ms. [Y/N], Jaehyun. I personally believe you should just tell her everything; you’re founding your relationship on-”

“Lies?” He finishes for him, “I don’t like that word. Let’s call it… an altered fact. She’ll leave me if she finds out. I can tell her more details about my disorder, but anything more? I just know… she’ll leave me.”

“What makes you think-”

Jaehyun cuts him off with a leer and curt laugh, “I know she will, doctor. Don’t pretend she won’t. You know what I’ve done; how I spent years devoting myself to her like how you are with your God. You know how I felt alone and empty growing up; but then I met her; and I felt something beyond my comprehension. Like how Moses discovered the burning bush on Mount Sinai or how a dove brought back an olive branch to Noah. She had single-handedly completed me and now she’s mine. She said it herself; my goddess claimed herself to be mine. It’s only right and just I protect her in return. Isn’t that what you do? When someone disrespects your God, don’t you defend him?”

Dr. Jeon wearily watches him, but it’s nothing he hasn’t heard or seen before. Maybe that’s why he’s tempted to press one of the many panic buttons hidden around the room as discreet as he can. He knows he’ll regret it if he does it again - the Jungs can be quite unforgiving when they’re falsely accused of becoming a threat. It was paranoia and panic that pushed the button last time that brought in heavy set personnel to escort Jaehyun out with a nurse armed with a tranquilizer just in case. Jaehyun’s father was not pleased, almost threatening to terminate their exclusive contract. However, the young man in front of him wasn’t the same person that entered half an hour ago.

“I am going to do everything in my power to keep it that way - to keep her mine - and nothing,” Jaehyun stresses, “Nothing is going to stop me.” 

“And if anybody gets in the way,” he clenches both his fists so tightly that blood starts to emerge from his bandages. Dr. Jeon reaches out to stop him, but Jaehyun separates his hands and stares at his palms, “I’ll kill them with my bare hands.”

a/n: yes the Jung’s therapist is SVT Wonwoo’s brother lol also i purposefully left out Jaehyun’s actual disorder out so I can discuss it in later chapters of Devoted 2 (during that joint therapy session) I’m sorry if it got a little too dark, but I promise the plot is better like this.

I hope you guys liked this! uwu

#nct smut #nct scenarios #jaehyun smut #jaehyun scenarios

[sherriswheel]

Library Book

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x female reader

Warnings: none

Prompt: ❝One person has been on the waiting list to check out a library book for months. The other person has the long-overdue book. The two coincidentally meet one day at the library.❞

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: first ever seb fic!

There was no doubt that she was getting impatient. The book she desperately needed for her thesis was long-overdue by the last borrower and it didn’t help that her library only had one single copy of the text. It’s been weeks since it was supposed to be in her hands and yet it was still in the possession of someone else. Although she had contacted the library multiple times regarding this, she was informed time and time again that there was nothing that could be done since the library could only send out notices to the person who still had the book in their hands.

Pissed and upset about the situation, she decided to visit the library once more, hoping that some miracle would happen that would make the book magically appear on the shelves once more (even though she knew full well that the staff would have sent her a message if the book was returned).

Upon entering the quiet and serene building, where occupants naturally obeyed the rule of creating minimal noises, she felt a sense of calmness wash over her. She had always been a fan of the library since she was a little girl and the habit of visiting the place whenever she could had stuck with her all these years. Although she had initially felt rather annoyed at the fact that she was still without her much-needed book, the environment of the library had her in a much better mood.

She headed straight to the front desk, wanting to ask for the whereabouts of the book even though she knew she was getting on the nerves of the staff members. There, she spotted a man who donned a simple outfit consisting of a black tee and a pair of blue jeans. He was conversing with the receptionist and although she couldn’t hear what they were saying, she could tell he looked somewhat apologetic with the way he kept dipping his head while he spoke.

Her approach to the desk was slow and quiet, not wanting to arrive before the man’s conversation ended and hence having to stand awkwardly and wait for her turn. But, much to her dismay, the man’s stay was longer than expected. However, upon reaching the desk, her eyes spotted the book that was on the desk, and it was the very book she had been waiting for all these weeks. Without a second thought, she rushed over, her palms slamming on the wooden surface of the desk with more force than she had planned, causing a loud sound that seemed to have echoed throughout the quiet library. She could feel eyes on her with the noise she made, but she was far too focused on the book to care.

“Finally!” she gasped quietly, her eyes remaining locked on the book. Relief flowed through her body knowing that she would be able to finish her thesis in time, though she had planned to complete it weeks ago so she could spend the last few weeks of the semester free of worries. Before she knew it, she was standing next to the poor man who she had surprised so abruptly with her reaction to the sight of the book, yet she wasn’t acknowledging his presence at all. Instead, she looked at the staff who had a mixture of shock and annoyance in her expression. “I can take that with me, right?” she asked the slightly older woman behind the desk, her finger pointing at the book on top of the pile.

“Yes, I was just about to send you a text,” the librarian replied with a tight smile, obviously not pleased with the situation. “Give me a moment so I can log the return of the book before I issue it out to you,” the woman said professionally with a push to her specs.

“Thank you so much,” she replied, letting out an audible sigh as she slouched slightly against the wooden desk. “You have no idea how desperate I was for this book - it’s literally the last thing I needed to complete my thesis.” She let out another sigh of relief, only to see an awkward expression on the librarian’s face. She frowned slightly and watched as the other woman’s eyes darted to something next to her, and it was only then that she realised that the man who had been there before her was still standing there. She looked over, slightly embarrassed of her behaviour, but it was the face of the man who had her almost choking on her own breath. “Oh my god, you’re-”

“I’m so sorry about the book,” the man spoke before she could finish her sentence - he had a pretty good idea what she was going to say anyway - and gave her an apologetic smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was away and completely forgot about the books I needed to return…”

For the moment, her mind had forgotten about the book that was being processed by the librarian as she stared into the steel blue eyes of the man standing in front of her. As much as she spent her time with books and texts, she wasn’t so unaware of the outer world to not know who was standing before her. And, instantly, she felt like an idiot making such a big fuss about the book that was left forgotten unintentionally.

“I, er, I’m sorry for that,” she said awkwardly, unable to find words that were more fitting to the situation. She could almost feel the stare of the librarian at the back of her head and she refused to turn around to intensify the humiliation that was bubbling inside her. “I mean, I, er, yeah… uhm, thanks for returning the book?”

It was probably the stupidest thing she could say and just as she was about to kick herself (mentally) for her words, a quiet chuckle came from the man. He didn’t look offended by her actions, and instead he looked like he was rather amused by how things had turned out.

“It’s really my fault for delaying your thesis,” he said, letting out another chuckle as he ran a hand through his thick, chestnut-coloured hair. “I hope it’s not going to be too late for you now.”

Her mouth opened and closed, unable to find the right words to say. Thankfully, the voice of the librarian saved her from further embarrassing herself in front of the man. “Your book is ready,” the elder woman had said, placing the said book on the desk and pushing it towards the desperate student. “Good luck with your thesis,” the woman added with a hint of a smirk on her lips.

Hurriedly, the girl reached for the book and held it close to her, wrapping her arms around it as if she was protecting it with all her might, which was partially true because she really needed this if she wanted to graduate with the grades she wanted. She muttered a quiet word of thanks to the librarian before turning back to the man. She was still struggling to find things to say to him and yet the look in his eyes told her that he was nowhere near annoyed with her. With a tilt of his head, he had indicated to her that they should make their way out of the library so that maybe, just maybe, they could carry on their awkward conversation freely without having to mind their volume.

Blindly, she followed him out of the building. The moment she was greeted by the soft breeze of the day, she sucked in a deep breath, hoping it would somehow help her formulate a proper sentence to say.

“I am so sorry for how I acted in there,” she managed to say. Despite her embarrassment, she looked straight into the man’s eyes, finding herself drawn to the soft blue that held so much emotion within them. “I didn’t mean to be so rude… I guess I was getting a little fed up waiting for this book…”

“No, no, like I said, it’s completely my fault for not getting it back in time,” the man said honestly with a shake of his head. “I really hope it’s not too much trouble for you though,” he continued. “My stupidity is to blame for this. I am so, so sorry.”

Flustered with the words of the man, the girl bit her inner cheeks and let out a noise that was supposed to be a hum but ended up sounding like a groan. Her eyes widened at the noise she made and quickly released her inner cheeks. “It’s really no problem… I mean, I am a little behind schedule, but I’ll be able to get my thesis done before the deadline. You know, I was planning on getting it finished ahead of time but it’s okay, I still have a couple of weeks before the deadline.” As she rambled on, hoping to ease the guilty feeling from the man, she only noticed that she was making him feel worse with her words. She could see purse of his lips and tiny frown on his brows and decided it was time she shut up to save them both from the embarrassment.

“I, uhm, have no idea what to say but sorry,” he said before letting out a nervous laugh as his hand returned to the back of his neck. “I’d love to offer some help but I don’t think I’ll be useful… writing theses isn’t really my forte…”

“Oh my god, please don’t say that-” she gasped. “It’s okay, it’s completely fine! Please, please don’t blame yourself anymore, it’s really okay!”

“Is there anything I can do to make up for this?” the man pressed, unable to let go of this matter for some reason. “I’d do anything I can.”

She looked at him with wide eyes, confusion clouding her mind as well as the feeling of guilt for making him feel so bad for returning the book late. She knew there wasn’t anything he could do to help her thesis - him finally returning the book was probably the best thing he could ever do in her life - and yet she knew he wasn’t going to give up, not until he felt like he had made it up to her.

Out of nowhere, the girl suddenly spoke. “Then, how about a coffee?”

Neither of them had expected her to say that, and yet they didn’t seem to have a better solution to this situation that what she suggested. 

Letting out an amused laugh, the man nodded his head and held out his hand. “Well, if that’s what you want then that’s what you shall get,” he said, his tone somewhat lighter than before. “I’m Sebastian, by the way.”

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan x reader

[lifesbecomings]

The email

Hi Drew— I just wanted to  clarify something and share some perspective. First off, I want to say that I understand and respect Denison’s admissions process. I reached out a few days ago to everyone just curious about the process and wanted to talk about options to continue my education, IF even possible, through Denison! With the positive feedback from everyone and your first email, and then mention, even as a slight possibility, of spring enrollment...one certainly can understand my excitement and push for more discussion and my initiative to get applied/enrolled. With that said I am still curious about steps in general. And maybe I applied as the wrong type of student.  I know there are openings still this spring, and especially in the EDUC classes (like EDUC 390), and thought "wow, maybe this is all aligning because it's meant to be."  If it is or isn't meant to be, I'm at peace with whatever the decision is or remains. But Denison will always be my first choice. I did leave in 2017 as a medical leave student, and technically I wasn't pursuing a degree through CCS, just taking classes, many students take summer classes or semesters (like if on academic suspension), and then come back and return to campus. I know usually students typically return 1-2 years, and I understand there are deadlines and I know their importance. In no way shape or form am I trying to surpass these. When I first reached out, I said I'd be happy to discuss ANY options in a return.  Others, throughout the thread, were mentioning a spring return and spring availability and how fantastic this could be. Both Karen Graves and Baker were on board in the Educ. department, where I am majoring, presumably for a spring enrollment.  Maybe it is the fact I only have art credits as transfers. Was it that they were hoping for more core class transfers? Either way, to be perfectly transparent, whatever the outcome is, I will be taking spring classes. As well as summer classes. I want to get my degree. My first choice is Denison. If there is anyway to make this a possibility still. You already know, It would be my pleasure to stay in touch, and I will happily move to Ohio and take classes back on campus in the fall. Denison holds a special place in my heart. I hope my time on campus impacted those I came into contact with, as much as they impacted me. The Briefing: Within the last 2 weeks. Literally, two weeks, a series of events occurred that made me see the potential I could have. It started with a ski lesson, we had philosophy lessons up the chairlift, and the technical skiing lessons going down the hill. It was eye opening. I realized I need to work on my patience, but It also made me realize that I don't have to do something I do not enjoy. Moreover, it made me recognize I need to stop running from what satisfies me the most, people, education, learning, and teaching. I shut myself off in 2017 to the idea of "traditional schooling". I thought, "It's not for me". " I'm not good at it".  It stuck.  That is, until January 6th 2021, when I had this ski lesson. The ski lesson in combination with my parents friend, a teacher from Brother Rice High School,  got me thinking. I was thinking and analyzing myself. My change in perspective was shocking. I needed to accept my talents and embrace them, instead of shutting them out and rejecting them. It is so funny how we sabotage ourselves.  This is the start of my story. About how I found my drive and fulfillment. Below are three personal stories I would like to share. 1.  Monkey Bars. 

There is a story my mother always would tell me growing up about my perseverance and determination. When I was very young, 4 years old, there was a set of monkey bars on the school playground. After school one day I told my mom I wanted to go across the monkey bars. The only problem...I did not know how to do them. But, I had watched other kids that day at recess. So I was determined to figure it out. We were there for 2-3 hours. I was bound and determined to do those monkey bars. I knew that was what I wanted. I had numerous failed attempts, failure after failure, my mother began to beg me to leave with her because my hands were all beaten up, blistered, and bloodied, I still kept going. I made it all the way across those monkey bars that day, and every day after. There is another story, too, a similar story about me riding a two wheeler. Same determination, different goal. Both accomplished. 

2. My Miracle.

A senior in college, to the modern western world, is still considered "young". If you're in school, attending high school or even attending university, to have a child anywhere, at any time in that mix, It is looked down upon, plain and simple.  I chose to not tell any of my peers, while I was at Denison, my fall semester, that senior year, in 2017. I kept this knowing to myself. I told my parents, and told the father/ fathers parents. Guess what was encouraged? An abortion. Whether verbally spoken (which it was) or unspoken, I knew this is what was wanted from me, wanted for me. I mean, it was, after all, the easiest thing to do. I could still finish my degree and the family could always come later in my life. So, I did just that. I went in for that appointment, at 5 weeks. 

Statistically speaking it is 99% effective. Did you know, 1:4 women will have had an abortion in their lifetime. It's neither here nor there, just an incredible statistic. I actually came back to Denison to finish out my degree after. Putting the past behind me. I enjoyed a fantastic fall break that year in Philadelphia with friends, because through Denison my Junior year, I did a "study abroad," in Philadelphia (the best experience ever. Cannot speak enough about that program! So grateful Denison is a part of the Study in Philly!) 

Anyway, after coming back from break I wasn't myself that week at school. I came home, went to a doctor's appointment. Pregnant. I was 11 weeks pregnant. 1-2 weeks away from being in my second trimester. I knew. In that instant, I was keeping him. No one else understood, at the time, my decision. I was blamed on one side, entirely, for this outcome, the father still lives in denial. This is important information in my story, as it describes where I have been, who I am and who I've become. The father isn't, and has never been involved. This is fine. It's been uncomplicated. I'm actually very lucky. Besides, I know that my son and I deserve someone 100% interested in me AND my son, not an either or situation. So once making my decision, to continue with the pregnancy, I took one day. One day to be broken hearted, to feel like it was me against the world. Later, to my surprise, I found I had a support network bigger than I could ever have imagined.

I am blessed. I am loved. "We" are so loved. But it took me that one day to realize, the easiest thing is not always the right thing. I knew honestly from the day I first found out, I wanted this baby. And my god, has it not only blessed me, but this child of mine blesses and brings joy to anyone and everyone he meets. As a biased mother would say, he truly is something special. My choosing to bring this new life into the world, is an amazing and miraculous testimony to my dedication and character. Being a mother (parent) is one of the toughest jobs in the world. 

3. My Bakery.

First, back story: I tried to take some classes at College for Creative studies in 2018. Knowing I was more than "just a mom". I've done a lot of "soul" searching and self love in my time away. I didn't reach back to Denison at this time because I was convinced traditionally schooling just must not be for me. The root of it, I later would find, was that I was somehow undeserving of it. (super messed up mental ideal). Disclaimer: I, like many, struggled with self worth. Therapy is necessary and beautiful.  Anyway, continuing---I had a hobby of sketching.  Homes and houses always intrigued me, so I picked up some classes at CCS, interior design classes. This is where I realized a hobby does not make for a career. More importantly, I remembered the promise I had made to myself, that I didn't want anyone else raising my baby boy.  I was spending 60hrs + a week on projects and classroom time, leaving him home with my parents and babysitters, a little bit at first, then, more and more. So, I pulled the plug. 

When I give of myself I want to give 100%. If I was giving my school work 100% there was none left for my son. I had to pick between the two, and clearly, without a doubt, my baby boy was the sure pick. Schooling this time round failed because It was in person, he was not in school yet, and it was not practical or logistical. I stopped in OCT of 2019. Between October and December of 2019 I went stir crazy. I was 24/7 with my son, living at my parents home still, and my mental health was on the decline. I felt trapped. I needed a way out. And thus "A Degree Above Bakery" was born. I have made over 5,000 dollars in profits from this business. I have a standing order, weekly, with Westborn Market. However, this flow, and work is at my grace.  I can shut it down, permanently, or temporarily. I can drive it forward more, or scale it back, starting tomorrow.  I was determined to find a way out and give myself some "me" time, as well as doing something I enjoyed that gave me flexible hours to work with my son present. I originally started in my own home. Operating under the cottage food law. That is, until I started to rent space in Plymouth MI from Westborn Market in April 2020.  I bake Sundays currently. 

I created and established then registered my name. I created and bought a web domain.  I have my own labels and packaging I created. Every aspect of my business I have built and created. The brand, the marketing, getting into a grocery store. My point here, being, when I think of something, I do everything in my power to try to reach my goal, whatever the road block. When I get an idea, I see it through. To the best of my ability. __________ My overarching theme is determination. You will have nothing without it. I will be respectful and understanding of any final decisions, acceptance, reinstatement, or lack thereof. If there is still a slimmer of possibility to qualify for spring semester at Denison or be considered again... It would be an honor and mean more to me than any words could begin to describe. I had to take one last shot with you all,  before seeking another institution.  Rules and regulations will be forever. I understand this, but If there is anything I can do to help enhance my application/reinstatement/case/enrollment/scenario please don't hesitate to ask. I would be honored to commit to in person class on the hill in the fall, after taking summer classes, and taking the spring classes online at Denison, I also will be able to pay, in full, for the spring tuition as well as on campus next fall/winter. I also paid in full while being on campus every year from 2013-2016. Please also hear me when I say, yes, obviously I would do whatever and help to see a successful spring enrollment, but I would be happy to transfer credits from this spring (elsewhere), and summer, to complete classes on campus in the fall.  I will stay open minded to all possibilities, as I know Denison does! 

With much respect and appreciation, and excitement,

Sarah McNaughton