#it's like a college thesis but it's just me talking about my ships

[loosesodamarble]

The Music of Faustsele (Full Version)

Summary: I brainrot about my ships and Kenshi Yonezu's music. Also, none of this has been beta read. I only did light editing so this is gonna be very rambly and repetitive.

Word count: ~23,000 (not including the lyrics)

Taglist: @cringeyvanillamilk @thoughtfullyrainynightmare @the-fuegoleon-fluff

So Kenshi Yonzeu wrote a bunch of songs specifically for my ships Nacsele and Morgsele.

That’s a joke. But I’m still going to make my obsession everyone’s problem!

A while back, I was taking a Japanese class and one of the assignments was to read and answer questions about the lyrics of a song. The song in question was “Lemon” by Kenshi Yonezu. To make a long story short, I got attached to the song (it makes me cry like a baby each time I listen to it). And I also became interested in Yonezu’s work.

I found many other songs by Yonezu, and found out I was familiar with a couple already. And although I’m learning Japanese, I had trouble understanding the songs. But recently, thanks to the power of the internet, I was able to find a site that had all of Yonezu’s songs transcribed as well as translated. Here is the link to the site.

So remember as we go into this, none of these translations are mine so I'm not making up meanings to force songs I like to fit my ships. I'm just finding phrases or themes in songs I like that fit my ships.

I want to make it clear that I didn’t go through every single song written by Kenshi Yonezu. He’s got a long discography and I wasn’t quite ready to go through all of it. So the songs I picked out for Josele, Nacht, and Morgen are but a small selection of Yonezu’s works.

With all that said, let’s get this musical rollercoaster started.

(The song titles link to the complete lyrics in Japanese, romaji, and English. The following links take you to videos so you can listen to the songs.)

..........

Faustsele (Josele's feelings for the Fausts)

We start the story of Josele and the Fausts with songs from Josele’s perspective (with one exception). The songs here are towards both twins in general or to one in specific, though more the former. Because although her experiences with Morgen and Nacht differ greatly, she loves them simultaneously and equally.

Eine Kleine (music video): So the title is German, meaning “a small (thing)” and it’s apparently feminine in meaning. It fits the song as the point of view character is a girl, as the personal pronoun for “I” in the song is “atashi,” a feminine word for “I.” The overall story of “Eine Kleine” is that a girl has a sad life, probably has depression. She meets a boy and they become friends/a couple (it’s kind of unclear but I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to lean romantic). The boy helps the girl live more happily though she continues to have her anxieties. The title can refer to how the girl feels about herself, small and insignificant, or the small act of the boy entering life which becomes very influential on her life.

I see this song as Josele’s feelings about her friendship with Morgen and Nacht in its early stages, as well as a look into their future. Before the twins entered her life, her happiness wasn’t as fulfilling because she didn’t have friends and devoted most of her time to working with her parents. Meeting the twins was the first time Josele really put herself out there and from there, she opened up to them and the world as a whole. However, even after becoming fast friends (as young children usually do), Josele had her doubts, best summed up in the first stanza.

I'm truly so happy to have met you, Yet, as if it follows naturally, it's all so sad... Now, with painfully happy memories, I walk on toward the inevitable farewell...

Josele formed a bond with Nacht and Morgen that she doesn’t want to lose. But she believes their friendship can’t last. Right? Still, she loves the time they spent together, the memories they made, even if she thinks it will come to an end. (The “inevitable farewell” line gets kind of dark when you think about how Morgen goes away in the end but that’s for another song to address.)

If I'm going to just live taking someone else's place, Then it'd be better if I could just be a pebble That way, there'd be neither misunderstanding nor confusion,

Josele worries about the friendship. About being replaced. About not having much in common with them and their differences creating a rift. Her biggest concern is wondering what Nacht and Morgen even see in her. She’s a commoner and they’re nobles. It’s something she’s well aware of, in the way she doesn’t understand things from their lives and vice versa. Compared to them, she’s nothing.

I'm so much more spineless than you seem to think me

I'm countless times more worthless than you seem to think me

These lines are Josele not seeing in herself what the twins see in her. She’s plain and hasn’t yet developed her future confidence. Thankfully, she does get over these insecurities. But before then, Morgen and Nacht are there to reassure her.

This is where the choruses come in. I really love the choruses of the song because of how they capture the pain and beauty of friendship/love.

To have everlasting sorrows and open seams, but also you; How happy I would be to smile and say, "It was for the best"... Everything before me seems to blur and melt; A flood of miracles wouldn't be enough... Because you called my name...

Please, for these nights I'll never, ever make it through, May these days never end, where you hold my hand and say we will... To vividly color even my closed eyelids, What can I possibly do? Is it all right if I call your name?

To have someone to create the best times of your life and to see you through the worst of times. And that’s what Josele’s friendship with the Fausts was and continues to be. She went from a dull life trying to be a “good child” to her parents to one where she can joke around and discover small, silly things alongside others. Nacht and Morgen are the greatest blessings in her life. Even if she isn’t perfect and shows weakness, they’re not going to let her despair. They treasure her as much as she does them.

And rather than the calling of the name being literal, I kind of imagine it as the act of calling each other friends. It’s unexpected of Nacht and Morgen to call Josele their friend. And she asks if it’s okay for her to call them her friends.

“Eine Kleine” is such a gentle and beautiful song. It’s definitely one of my favorites from Yonezu. I think it works well as expressing the starting point of Josele’s relationship with the Fausts because it expresses the feelings of insecurity and fear Josele has at the beginning. It does look into the future a bit so it could work for Faustsele in a general, long-term sense too. But I’m mainly using it to signify the beginning.

I’m also going to confess that the final shot of the girl and guy together in the music video inspired me to make touching foreheads Josele’s greatest show of affection. It’s a simple moment and gesture but it just hits me with the feels every time I see it. It felt right making it a part of Josele’s character.

Flowerwall (music video): Here in “Flowerwall,” we see Josele’s bond with the Fausts grows stronger. Like “Eine Kleine,” it’s ambiguous if this song is about a platonic or romantic but I think “Flowerwall” leans more platonic this time.

Our sadness, our kindness, our hope, and despair; We've come to share them with one another...

The early lyrics express how Josele, Morgen, and Nacht are becoming more involved in one another’s lives. They play together and learn from one another (the three have a lot to teach each of since the twins and Josele live very different lives). They see the hard parts of each other’s lives. Josele sees how Morgen and Nacht’s lives are dictated by rules and expectations. The twins come to understand how much Josele and her parents work just to live comfortably. But these differences only bring them together, as they want to help each other with their troubles.

How much longer will this time spent with you last? When will that light go out?

There is still a sense that the friendship could come to an end however. Although this time, it’s more about their parents than the trio themselves. The Faust parents weren’t entirely approving of their sons playing with a commoner. Not as low as a peasant but not as good as nobility. As for Josele’s parents, her mother fully supported the friendship but her father was very suspicious of Nacht (the kid’s first impression was stealing a knife from Thomas). However, Josele doesn’t really care about the parents’ disapproval. She’s happy with the twins. And they share similar thoughts. So they ignore it.

Your voice resounds so pleasantly, And it blows all such grief away…

We just went on calling that "fate," And always walking hand in hand…

How is it that we came to find one another?

I won't let go, because if I let go of your hand, I feel like I'll never grab hold again...

If no one knows about it, and no one's seen it, Then we should give it a name here and now…

All these lines together convey the invisible pull that Josele has towards Nacht and Morgen. Maybe it was all a coincidence that they crossed paths but Josele wants to continue living alongside them as long as possible. Because they made her happy and taught her how to enjoy her life. They are her first and dearest friends and she doesn’t want to let go of either Morgen or Nacht because they’re both equally important to her.

And yet those things which I lack, and those things which you lack, We somehow supplied for each other...

I like these lines from the second verse because they suit Josele and the Fausts. Josele is a commoner, physically strong and a little on the wild side. But she lacked confidence and a bit of tact. The twins are nobles, intelligent and elegant in their upbringing. But they’re also forced to be restrained in their behavior. The twins bring out a new side of Josele and she does the same for them.

Is this hell, or is it heaven? Well, it's all up to one thing: The path we two choose...

I think the hell or heaven line is a little funny because of Nacht and Morgen’s contrasting devil and angel motifs. Not a huge factor in why this is a Faustsele song (just a small factor), but I have to bring it up. But the lines also just work. Josele, Nacht, and Morgen, as young as they are at the time, are choosing what they want.

There’s also the matter of the “flowerwall” that comes up in the song’s choruses. In relation to Faustsele, the flowerwall is the relationship between Josele and the Fausts. Josele’s relationship with Nacht and Morgen is somewhat ambivalent. The way the first version of the chorus asks “Does it refuse us? Or is it for our protection?” reflecting how there are troubles and joys that come from the friendship. Regardless, that’s how things are. Not so much an impasse as a lack of need for an “answer.”

That which seemed impossible to settle alone, Once you came along, well... My boundless despair, Even all of my questions without answers, One by one, they took on color...

I especially like the second version of the chorus. I read it and imagine a stone wall covered in twisting vines. Then, the vines blooming with flowers of so many colors. Lots of flowers and colors, like the many memories Josele ends up making with the Fausts. And Josele’s loneliness was ended by the Fausts coming along. I know the song lyrics mention “two people (futari) being connected but I’m not going to let a lyric that comes up three times in the song stop me from making this about Josele and the twins.

Overall, “Flowerwall” is the song where Josele is more sure of her bond with Morgen and Nacht. There are still lingering doubts but they are drowned out by happiness.

orion (music video): The next Faustsele song is “orion” and this is where Josele’s feelings start turning romantic. There's a growing sense of intimacy in this song, although it can still be read platonically. There is also a dream-like quality to the instrumental component, capturing the light but fantastical feeling of falling in love.

Your fingers, your chest, your eyes; They're so radiant, some nights they dizzy me a little

This is Josele noting Morgen and Nacht's features because she’s spent years holding their hands, being hugged to their chests, and staring into their eyes. She’s memorized everything about the twins. Now when she thinks about those simple but intimate moments, in relation to those body parts, she gets a little dizzy from her blooming feelings of love.

Josele’s revelation of her romantic feelings for Nacht and Morgen are sudden to her. But the feeling fills her with warmth and it’s beautiful like the image of “a rainbow-color star.” It’s confusing too, and she kind of has to relearn how she sees the twins in this new light. She happily accepts it all though. Things don’t actually change that much between Josele and the Fausts.

Even in my dreams, I'm not skilled, not in a good state "Don't worry about it" - the things I lamented, the things I cried over

Pulling on frayed sleeve threads, we tried making a constellation, With each other's fingers as stars It was terrible, nonsense, so we laughed together; As long as you were there with me, it's all fine...

This is how Josele is. She will have moments when she voices negativity but quickly pushes those thoughts away with hope. She is human and thus still has her insecurities. But she doesn’t hide that negativity. She still laments and cries but she doesn’t let herself stay worried about them. And if she’s not at her best, then she can improve. All the while, she is with the twins, able to easily laugh alongside them about silly things.

God, please, please - let me hear that voice, If only just for a second... So that we never have to part again, I want you and I, like this constellation... To be tied together...

This version of the chorus is a prayer from Josele. After years with the Fausts, Josele doesn’t want to let them go. She’s stubbornly devoted and in love with them. She wants to have that bond, hear their voices, hold their hands. For as long as possible. The connection between stars making constellations is intangible and in reality, the stars are far apart, but from the view on earth, they’re close together and can create something pretty. That’s kind of how Josele feels about the Fausts. Even though they live in separate classes and didn’t have a lot in common in the beginning, they did meet and bond. She did fall in love with them and it’s a thing of beauty to her.

Now, no matter what difficulties arise, I can still try to love... But too weakly linked, across the dawn, They simply watched... Those blue eyes...

Here we get Josele’s thoughts, that she believes hope and love can overcome whatever troubles she faces. It’s also there that we get a mention of blue eyes. The English translation that’s provided implies the blue eyes to be the ones watching something else but I looked at the Japanese and I read it more as the speaker of the song staring into blue eyes. Either way it works, considering Nacht and Morgen have blue eyes.

One of my favorite parts of “orion” is the star imagery. I associate Josele with stars so it makes it feel more appropriate for the song to be linked to her character. Josele is a star, once alone, now forming a constellation with two people she’s fallen in love with. I simply find the song to be dreamy and romantic, a perfect summary of Josele’s feelings.

Spring Thunder (music video): Okay this is the song where Josele’s romantic feelings for Morgen and Nacht have reached their peak. This song takes place later on when Josele is with Morgen but before they’re engaged but I’ll point out why later on. But in general, Josele has grown more mature and so have her feelings. She is well and truly in love with them in this song. And it’s very complicated too.

I must start by pointing out how the physical description of the lover in the song is basically a perfect match for Morgen and Nacht’s appearances.

A thunderbolt with blue eyes, borrowing a human voice

The black of your hair, swaying and dancing, was more graceful than any other It suited well the clear white skin that could very well vanish into the air

Like… It’s very obviously the Fausts. Both are naturally black-haired with blue eyes, and in the anime, both seem to have pretty fair skin. Granted, only Morgen is showing his black hair since at age fifteen, Nacht is bleaching his hair. Later on, Nacht’s black hair returns though. The title and imagery of spring is also fitting since the twins were born in that season.

Onto less literal and on the nose lyrics. Josele laments her ever growing feelings for Nacht and Morgen.

Like any words, any gestures just wouldn't be enough Since that day, a storm settled down in my chest and never left

There is no easy way to describe love. For anyone. Even Josele with Emotion Magic can’t find all the words and actions necessary to express all her love. And now that she’s in love with Nacht and Morgen, she’s staying in love with them. However, it’s not a purely blissful feeling for her. Think about it, she’s in love with her best friends. Best friends who are brothers. She knows how unusual the situation is and it causes some negative feelings.

Blown around slowly, I feel deep perplexion, and pain, and grief, and yearning…

Deep perplexion, and pain, and grief repeated, and soon enough, it was spring Sweet scents, remnants, darkening, charred love; I grew deeply, deeply lost

Those troubling feelings and being in love with both twins are what keeps Josele from confessing her love on her own. She only makes her feelings known after Morgen confesses first. And even as she has these conflicted feelings, Josele keeps loving both.

In a brief moment, a pain-like love ran through my body…

Sweet scents, remnants, darkening, charred love; I grew deeply, deeply lost

The burning pain, the stabbing numbness, I understood it was a mouth-shut love,

These lines here say “love” in English but the specific word used in the original Japanese is “koi” which is romantic love. Josele’s feelings have grown and having romantic affections for both twins. And being with one adds to the confusion in her heart. Loving Nacht is painful and something Josele cannot bring up while with Morgen. Loving Morgen isn’t as troublesome because she can be open with her affection but she’s also “chosen” Morgen over Nacht which puts a bit of strain on that relationship.

Thankfully, it’s not all chaos and tumult. Because Josele is with Morgen, he is able to put her heart at ease, soothing whatever ache there is.

So I just looked in your eyes, and when I did, you suddenly smiled gently My hoarse heart, my noisy secrets, before I knew it, they were shattered

Words I want to ask, thoughts I want to tell, it's laughable how many I have And yet when you're in front of me, to think not a one can come out

While those lines are more for Morgen, there are lines that feel more directed at Nacht. They give more a sense of longing for what can’t be. Which is the situation Josele (and Nacht) have at this point in time.

Once the petals fall, it'll be farewell to you, in which case, won't you dance with me? The flowers dancing in air were so like you, I just had to give in

Please, deceive me, laugh that it's "love" for me, Until the day you disappear, just stay there...

I see these sets of lyrics being Josele wanting to remain close to Nacht, even if just friends. Nacht isn’t actually disappearing but the intent is that Josele wants to let go of her feelings for Nacht when she marries Morgen. Until then, though, she and Nacht can love each other as much as they can. Note that the “love” here is “ai” which is much more general in its usage. So I read it as Josele doing her best to hide her romantic love under friendly love.

“Spring Thunder” as a Faustsele song is fun because it’s about Morgen and Nacht at the same time but there are sections where only one is being spoken to. Josele loves Morgen and Nacht and that causes her heart some distress. In the end, she is coming to terms with it and finding peace with her feelings.

Sight for Sore Eyes (guitar cover): Alright, we’ve finally found a song that describes Josele's feelings towards one specific Faust. This time, Morgen. The feelings expressed in this song come after Josele and Morgen have begun dating but they’re not quite at the point of engagement. Josele is happy but nervous entering this relationship, but she has comfort and does find a sense of hope.

I only want you to tell me things that are no use for anything, With the light illuminating you as you say those silly things For now, shall I smile and pretend I can't see or hear a thing?

Josele wishes that her relationship with Morgen were simpler. She wants aimless conversations with Morgen, where what matters is that the two of them are together and happy. Josele wants to ignore the things that complicate their relationship, like their occupation or social status. It’s a little selfish of her, but she’s at least asking if she can do it “for now,” for a short moment.

I'm sure that you and I can't stay together forever Shall we eat something? Shall we talk now?

Doubt. It weighs heavily on Josele’s mind. Can she, a plain commoner girl, really end up with a noble who is the very image of perfection in many people’s eyes? So Josele asks only for simple things from Morgen. For a shared meal. For him to dance with her. To be happy with her as she is. She does enjoy grand shows of affection but like I said, she’s simple and wants to enjoy a simple love.

And I'd feel lucky if I could die just quietly passing the time like this As I listen to the rain falling and splashing and snuggle close to you,

Josele feels blessed to be with Morgen. If the present Josele told her past self that she’d be romantically involved with a noble after years of friendship, young Josele wouldn’t believe it at all. But now Josele enjoys the time she has with Morgen, all of it. It’s the mundane pleasures, like curling up on a rainy day, that give Josele the fulfillment she seeks for the time being.

"Alright, see you - tomorrow, right?" Even if such is how we end today, I've never once seen tomorrow, So I can't really speak on that...

"I'm sure the two of us are fine," You laugh childishly; You poke my cheek with your nose and laugh, You put words aside, and laugh again… What I want is simple - there's a future with you in it, And for me to just see what future that would be, That'd be a sight for sore eyes…

I like the way the versions of the chorus work together. The first take of the chorus is focused on Josele. She had always been afraid of a last “see you tomorrow” ever since she became friends with Morgen and Nacht. Worried that they would stop seeing each other and being friends. She doesn’t look to the future with hope as much as Morgen does. Which brings us to the second version of the chorus. Morgen has a bright optimistic view which reassures Josele. Even without Morgen though, Josele would be able to voice her simple desire of a future where Morgen is still beside her. For her, that vision of the future is something she welcomes, something beautiful and different from the dreary future she once thought she would have.

I think this song is best summarized by an alternate translation for the Japanese title. “Ganpuku” can also be translated as “seeing something beautiful or precious.” For Josele, she is envisioning a future with Morgen. It’s much better than the dreary life she would’ve thought she would have as a child. So even though neither she nor Morgen have everything figured out, Josele is happy in the moment and with the future that she has in mind. Simple, comforting and beautiful is what I’d describe this song as.

Lemon (music video): This song here is basically the theme song for Faustsele in my mind. Like, part of the reason why I once cried for two hours over this song is because I realized how much it applied to Josele, Morgen, and Nacht. This song is a bit of an exception because it doesn’t convey just Josele’s feelings towards Morgen and Nacht.

It starts with the structure of the song. “Lemon” is broken up into three sections. Section one is “How good would it be…”, section two starts at “In the darkness…”, and the third is “You who I loved…” The song is supposed to be understood with the first and third parts being from the perspective of a person whose lover died while the second section is the dead lover’s perspective. From that, it’s obvious why this applies to Josele and Morgen. But, the song still makes sense if you think of it as Nacht as the first perspective and Josele being the second. When Josele curses herself, Nacht kind of sees that as Josele dying in a sense. Even though Josele is cursed to be without emotions, she’s still suffering deep down but she wants Nacht to let her go and remain cursed (the wrong choice but regardless), essentially staying dead.

That isn’t the end of it though. In the context of Faustsele, the song is from Josele, Morgen, and Nacht’s perspectives. Josele first, burdened with heartbreak. Morgen comes second because he is the dead lover. Nacht takes the third part as he realizes the depths of his feelings.

And this is just the song’s structure. What about the actual lyrics?

Like I said, the song starts with Josele mourning Morgen.

How good would it be if this were a dream? Even now, I do dream about you As if coming back to retrieve what I forgot, I dust off these old memories...

One of Josele’s oldest friends and her fiance died. Not only that but she blames herself for it, being unable to heal Morgen. Of course she’s going to wish that it was all a dream, that it wasn’t real. And as she tries to cope with losing Morgen, Josele recalls the time they spent together because they’re the only way she’ll have him back.

I'm sure that causing any more harm Simply isn't possible, I know...

Considering that Josele spiraled into despair before eventually cursing her emotions away to stop feeling miserable, it’s safe to say that these lyrics fit Josele’s feelings. Yes, there’s more to her cursing herself than not wanting to be sad but her sadness that just wouldn’t go away is where it starts.

Even the sadness of that day, even the pain of it, I loved every part of it, alongside you

I don’t have one specific day in mind but in a general sense, Josele loved every moment she had with Morgen. Even sad memories because Morgen had been there to comfort her or she had been the one to be there for him. 

The line that really hits it home for me though…

Even now, you are my light...

Morgen used Light Magic. Josele calls him her “sunrise.” And even with him gone, she continues to love him. The love that endures loss and heartbreak is just… beautiful in a tragic way.

Now we move onto the second part with Morgen. He is alone in the afterlife. He is thinking about Josele. Of intimate moments with her in the past. And of what she could be doing, what she could be feeling, in the present now that he has passed on. Morgen is also faced with the fact that he died and it weighs heavily on him.

Every time I encounter something I can't bear, All that floods over are tears

Wherever you are now, if you're like I am, Wet with tears, in the midst of lonesomeness, I ask that you please just forget about me Such that I wish that from the bottom of my heart,

He’s only a ghost and now completely isolated from his loved ones. Yami and Nacht and Josele. I imagine Morgen being overwhelmed by the loneliness and guilt for giving his loved ones a reason to cry. That would be unbearable to him. For the sake of the song, Morgen is focusing on Josele. He lost the woman he loved due to dying and he would know that she would be heartbroken over the loss of him. And so Morgen wishes for Josele to forget him, maybe not completely erase him from her memory but to move on and find happiness without him. He loves her so much that he lets her go and wants her to let go of him too.

Josele being Morgen’s light isn’t as literal but of course it still applies. He calls her his heart and treasure. The second verse summarizes Morgen’s feelings for Josele, that he loves her even beyond the grave.

Finally, we come to the third part of the song focusing on Nacht’s feelings.

You who I loved, more than I realize, Ever since then, I can't breathe quite right

Nacht always knew he loved Josele. He just never said it because he never felt worthy of her love. It’s only after he’s broken her heart that he realizes just how much he loves her. Believing himself to be the one to cause her pain and seeing her as a shell of her former self, his own heart breaks.

Though you were so close, it's as if that was fake That I'll never be able to forget: that's all I'm certain of…

Nacht and Josele were close as kids. He was there beside her at the same time Morgen was. But with the current tension between him and Josele, it doesn’t feel as real. Nacht may despair for a time over his mistakes and the ripple effect of them, but he comes back. He won’t let go of his happy memories of Josele and refuses to give up on her.

Nacht is painfully, hopelessly in love with Josele. But with how things are, all he can do is pine. Then there’s Nacht calling Josele his light which is fitting as his (eventual) pet name for her is “star,” a light in the dark of night.

There’s so many emotions I have regarding “Lemon.” I don’t think I can put into words how much I absolutely adore this song. It made me cry. It inspired me. It was what properly introduced me to my now favorite musician. And the vibes it has for Faustsele is too perfect! All the emotions and thoughts perfectly encapsulated into this one song! Sorry to go on and on about “Lemon” but I can’t help it.

But we do have to move onto the next song.

Donut Hole (music video) (guitar cover): Here comes the second Morgen specific song from Josele. Taking place after Josele has cursed herself, the song is about missing someone in one’s life. The trouble is that the person in question can only be defined by the absence of them. The song centers not just on Josele's feelings for Morgen but also her curse, which has an effect on those feelings and more.

When did I get these memories, These big ones I can't remember? Out of what I just can't recall, There's one thing I remember pretty well

For context, Josele’s memory becomes messy after putting herself under a curse and taking on Forbidden Magic. Due to her curse, she can’t retain new memories well and even her memories of the past are foggy due to lacking an emotional connection to those moments. I don’t have any reason why that would happen other than chalk it up to magical effects. Not all of Josele’s memories are gone, mind you. She’s not suffering from serious amnesia but like I said, it’s messy.

And yet you yourself, I'm not sure why, But I still can't remember you...

Light rain settles on my eyelids, And I still can't hear that dead, dark voice…

When I'd try to count all the simple feelings, I'd find I forgot even the warmth you shared with me Goodbye, and we'll never, ever meet again;

These lyrics contine that idea of Josele trying and struggling to hold onto her memories of Morgen. The look of his face. The sound of his voice. The love they shared. But even with her feelings locked away, Josele knows that Morgen is important and that she cannot forget him. However, Morgen died and even if Josele had the heart to want him back, the dead cannot return to life.

The hole opened up in my chest, Now it's the only thing that proves you And yet I'm still so empty; My heart is torn to ribbons, there's nothing I can do…

I can't hope on things that have passed, So just give me something to fill with...

Josele’s broken heart and fading memories make it difficult for her to believe that what she shared with Morgen was real. That’s despite knowing that Morgen lived, that they were engaged, and that she cursed herself in the first place to stop the pain of losing him. The self-inflicted curse has left Josele without an important part of who she is. She’s made herself empty and resigned herself to a fate of being cursed forever. All she has now is her duty as a Magic Knight but soulless duty will never replace her joys and sorrows or the years she spent with Morgen.

In the end, I remembered that little word Taking my breaths calmly, my eyes opened up...

Thankfully, Josele will eventually find herself again. She’ll rediscover her emotions and slowly weaken the curse before it breaks fully. And as the curse comes undone, Josele will find peace and remember. But until then, there will be a hole in her heart that haunts her.

It’s interesting how the fast paced energy of the song kind of hides how sad the lyrics are, but I think that’s a trend in some Vocaloid songs, which “Donut Hole” initially was. Like how Josele’s curse hides who she truly is. I also see the moments of dissonance in the song as reflecting how the curse isn’t right and how it hurts Josele. “Donut Hole” is both similar and dissimilar to Josele, as it’s high energy unlike her cursed state but chaotic like her state of mind.

Melancholy Kitchen (guitar cover): At last, a song about Josele's feelings for Nacht specifically. This song takes place after Josele’s curse is broken but a full reconciliation with Nacht hasn’t happened quite yet. It’s a song that expresses change and gratitude with a touch of affection, though it’s not quite love. Josele does love Nacht but this song isn’t where she expresses that feeling.

Your profile and your hair color, I saw them side by side on a quiet table Within a slightly bland potato, Within pasta with too much salt…

In the depths of nights without you there, I saw my own detestable smallness Within worthless quarrels and tears, Within that foolishly smiling face…

These first stanzas are Josele reflecting on the past, specifically Nacht and herself. She is reminded of Nacht by sad or disappointing things. She’s not upset with him but there are painful memories associated with him. There’s nothing wrong with Nacht; it’s simply that there are times when he isn’t at his best, just like how some food doesn’t turn out quite right. As for herself, Josele hates the grief-driven choices she made, the curse and hosting a devil. She treated everyone horribly, fighting with Nacht over her decisions and hurting many people’s feelings without a second thought. She might not have smiled while cursed, but she was in a sense pretending everything was fine. Looking back, she hates the person she was.

I can't say, I can't say it, I can't say I'm fine all alone Let's talk, speak up, about our bright future; So even if I mess up and freeze it, you'll be there for me…

In the present, Josele admits how much she missed Nacht. After Morgen’s death, Nacht disappeared from Josele’s life for a time and later left Josele for his mission in Spade. Now that she’s able to feel again and Nacht is back to stay, Josele wants to be hopeful about the future. If something goes wrong along the way, she knows that Nacht will forgive her.

Laugh, laugh, laugh, just like that; Like a spell's been cast, we'll make the world anew And the shroud of uncurable gloom in this room, You chewed on it like it was tasty, and gulped it down…

Josele wants herself and Nacht to laugh freely the way they did as youths. To take another chance at living life together. It doesn’t get rid of all they’ve endured but neither Josele nor Nacht is trying to do that. What actually happens is that the two of them will take those painful memories and accept them as part of their lives. It’s about that balance between joy and sorrow which lays the groundwork for Nacht and Josele’s future.

Your cheeks and the bridge of your nose, Now I see them side by side on a quiet table Sweet cherry bonbon left in the room, And a forcibly-baked Tarte Tatin...

With the second verse, Josele has moved past remembering the sad things about Nacht and is now thinking of sweeter things. They are childhood friends after all and, as said earlier, they’re trying to live happily now. There’s a bit of pain still there, as the Tarte Tatin is described as “forcibly-baked,” which indicates the struggle to find happiness again.

I can't say, I can't say it, I can't say I've come to hate you Let's talk, speak up, about both our thoughts; So I can speak to you without getting embarrassed…

When all is said and done, there is no resentment from Josele towards Nacht. She knows he never meant those hurtful words he said. It was a tragedy and Nacht wasn’t in the right headspace. What Josele wants to tell that to Nacht, that and so much more. She and Nacht do need to talk about what happened and how they can move on from there.

It's like a world where we've finally been granted freedom Scooping out the first mouthful of the prepared food, You happily blew and offered it to me...

This moment of domesticity is a dreamed up scenario within the future Josele wants with Nacht. But also that “first mouthful” is symbolic of the first step to the future. The two of them have the freedom to live contently. All that Josele asks is for Nacht to join her in it. She wants him to offer and share his joys with her.

And well, just how much you've saved me, maybe you wouldn't know… If and when we meet tomorrow, I hope I can be honest then…

And well, just how much you've saved me, even if you do happen to know… If and when we meet tomorrow, I hope I can put it into words…

As much as Nacht did hurt Josele with his accusation and abandonment of her, he also never gave up on her. In my oc-verse, Nacht went to Spade not only for the mission but also to look for a way to free Josele from her devil and curse. It’s thanks to Nacht’s persistence that Josele does return to her normal self. Nacht may only look at what he’s done wrong at first but will eventually recognize all the good he’s done for her. Josele, meanwhile, is looking for a way to express everything she feels for him. Not only gratitude for saving her but the years of unspoken feelings.

The way the song opens with pessimistic thoughts and then builds up to a turn around to positivity is great in my opinion. There isn’t much about the tune or tempo changes, it’s mostly in the words. That sentiment works perfectly for Josele and Nacht because their relationship is very complex in nature. Still, through the good and bad, Josele has cared for Nacht and always will. And now, she’s ready for a change for the better.

love (cover): This song isn’t a soft or hopeful love song. It encompasses love that is filled with pain and fear and loss. If you haven’t caught on yet, that’s kind of a theme in the whole Faustsele storyline. With her curse finally broken, Josele is able to come to terms with the loss of Morgen while still keeping her love for him in her heart. And she is now able to express her love for Nacht after so many years of being unable to say so for various reasons.

Alongside the dawn, with this voice, "Don't forget," I let loose to the sea Thousands of lights flow by; Struck by the wind, they're sent outward…

Watching the sunrise is one of Josele’s favorite things and she called Morgen “sunrise” so I imagine this is her speaking to the dawn as if it’s Morgen, saying to him and herself not to forget their love. The wind carries Josele’s wish away, as it’s only for herself and Morgen, even if he’s not physically by her side anymore.

Even if we become however far apart, Even if we're deeply wounded always, Even if we can never meet again, Even if we might cease to remember...

It’s not a physical distance but the divide of life and death separates Josele and Morgen. Even if she’s healing, Josele was still deeply wounded by losing Morgen. They won’t see each other in life again. And even though she holds her memories of Morgen close, time will eventually take them away. Despite all that, Josele will love Morgen, without question.

Over and over (and over, and over), we shout toward the sea; Through a dark (dark, dark) lonesomeness, we walk…

Now Josele is with Nacht. Their relationship isn’t nearly as clean and bright as Josele and Morgen’s was. For so long, things were strained between them due to various factors and Nacht working in Spade kept them apart on top of that. Still, they are able to walk together.

Even if we can't live eternally, Even if we'll someday be hated, Even if no one was at fault, Even if the pain will never fade...

Not that either want to live forever, but it’s more the idea that one of them will die first and the other will mourn that death. Josele ended her contrast but she, like Nacht, was a devil host and both would be hated for using Forbidden Magic. Neither were truly to blame but Josele and Nacht both put blame on themselves. And the scars of the past, what they endured, will never go away, not entirely at least. Josele still finds comfort in each Nacht’s presence and loves him, and she’s sure he feels the same.

As tragic as her life is. As much as she’s lost. Josele loves Morgen and Nacht to this day and forever more. That’s what the song "love" represents. It’s short but it says a lot about Josele’s feelings and the relationship she has with the twins.

WOODEN DOLL (music video): The last of the Faustsele songs. And this one is dedicated to Josele’s feelings towards Nacht. In general, I think “WOODEN DOLL” speaks to certain parts of Nacht’s character and thus gives voice to many of Josele’s concerns for him.

Please, don't make that face, like you're sucking up every sorrow there is

Please, I don't like to see you beat up by memories that have passed…

Just how much pain do despair and resignation bring? Nobody else would understand; only you know what's right for you...

Nacht hurt his loved ones—Morgen, Yami, Josele—because of his reckless actions. He takes the guilt of Morgen’s death and even Josele’s downward spiral upon himself. The memories have haunted him for years. And Nacht, he holds onto those memories, that guilt, to punish himself. Josele sees this and would be concerned. She asks Nacht not to burden himself in such a way because she knows what it’s like to hate and punish one’s self. Cursing herself was that for herself, in part. However, she knows she doesn’t fully understand what’s going on in Nacht’s mind but she hopes that he will find the closure he needs.

As much as you distrust affection and friendship, They're not things you give all by yourself, nor decide alone...

These lines are about Nacht not believing that he is deserving of love and friendship. It’s less about not trusting in a general sense but more specifically he doesn’t trust himself with something so kind. And Josele is there to tell Nacht that she loves him, that Yami is his friend, regardless of what Nacht says. He can’t stop them from feeling the way they do.

You're not as awful as you think; Certainly sometimes, it must be someone else's fault I won't say to stop wishing pain on others; That's just another part of you… But you see, you're only looking at what you've lost, Yet have you counted what you've been given? If you've forgotten, then make yourself remember; If you don't, I'll be so sad...

The bridge of “WOODEN DOLL” is basically just Josele pouring her heart out to Nacht. He’s not pure evil. Morgen’s death doesn’t fall solely on Nacht’s shoulders. And even the spiteful parts of Nacht are okay to have, though it’s definitely something that needs to be worked on. Josele does acknowledge that Nacht suffered in the past but his present is full of hope, now that he’s living with the Black Bulls. And it hurts her when Nacht can’t see what’s right in front of him. Nacht is hurting himself and Josele both by denying his own happiness.

I’m going to circle back to the choruses, specifically the first version of it. Because it’s the first version of the chorus that has really strong Nacsele vibes.

I love you even when you hate yourself - do you hate me, too? It's always this way; deep in their hearts, everyone looks down on others, Paralyzed by the fear of being looked down upon…

The first half of the first line is pretty self explanatory. But the second half, asking if Nacht hates Josele too makes sense because he hated what Josele had become after she cursed herself. Nacht did hold himself responsible for driving her to that action with his accusation. As for the last two lines, Nacht looked down on the Black Bulls because they embodied the faults of his own past, being reckless and frivolous and delinquents. He hated them because he hated himself and projected it outward.

This song isn’t all about concern and looking on the past however. It’s ultimately loving and hopeful. Remember the line about counting what has been given and being loved despite hating one’s self. That spirit is shown best in these lyrics.

Make sure to speak, as loud as you can; now open your eyes - wah-hah-haha!

Make sure to laugh; lie on the couch, hold your belly - wah-hah-haha!

Before you cry that "it isn't anywhere," Make sure to look at me, right in front of you…

Josele wants Nacht to be able to look to the future. To smile and laugh with confidence that he deserves happiness. And if Nacht doubts him himself, in happiness, Josele asks him to look to her. Because she will be there for him.

“WOODEN DOLL” really is a perfect song for Josele and Nacht. It mentions the things Nacht struggles with but without getting weighed down with those heavy feelings. Throughout, it is energetic. It’s a song of hope, something which Nacht really needs and Josele already holds for his sake.

You Are Ugly (song): The idea of ugliness as used in the song isn’t about appearance. The Japanese word for ugly “minikui” does have to do with looks but the kanji in the word is also associated with shameful behavior. The way I see it, ugliness is metaphorical for being flawed and broken as a person. Nacht and Josele are both ugly in that understanding.

Eating life and laughing - how does it feel? Have you found love? Words are constantly killing people; You and I are murderers both…

This first verse is Nacht speaking about Josele. He watches as she’s smiling and enjoying life once again. It makes Nacht happy to know that she’s able to be happy herself. The question of finding love already has an answer, Nacht knows, but he still asks to hear the answer from Josele herself. The thought of words killing is something Nacht understands well, given what happened between him and Josele. They’ve both hurt each other with words, but they’re also murderers on the sense that they carry guilt for Morgen’s death.

You are ugly; you can't survive on your own, And you won't even believe that - you are ugly… But even still, I want to love you, I want to love you until the day I die alone…

Nacht knows Josele is broken, that she really can’t do well on her own. She puts her wants and needs beneath others so without anyone else to care for her, she would destroy herself. It has happened before, too. She isolated herself from others after Morgen’s death, later turning to curses and Forbidden Magic. Because of that, she’s irreparably tainted, she wouldn’t agree on that. She knows Forbidden Magic was a mistake, but she’s not evil or irredeemable for it. She believes that not only about herself but Nacht too. Forbidden Magic is considered taboo but they are not evil for having gotten involved with it. The line about “dying alone” reminded me of a quote by Orson Welles. “We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.” And so Nacht wants to love Josele, in all her flaws and pains, and be connected to her until they eventually die as individual beings.

Sharing in solitude - how does it feel? Have you found love? While you trample on your hoarse voice, Don't forget you're alive…

Josele is speaking now. She’s commenting on how she and Nacht both know what it’s like to be isolated from others, having closed themselves off from others at some point in their lives. She asks him how he feels about their shared loneliness. Then she asks if he recognizes the love she has always had for him. The last lines of the verse are Josele pleading with Nacht to be kind to himself and keep living, even as he still struggles to move past his guilt.

You are ugly; you can't fully be an adult, Nor even fully a child - you are ugly… But even still, I want to love you, I want to love you if only for a moment…

Childhood is associated with innocence and thus adulthood carries the connotation of being evil. Josele is pointing out that Nacht is flawed but also hurt. He isn’t fully evil because he has the desire to help others, to see that good people are rewarded for their choices. He has a good heart, one that cares for others. But Nacht can’t be fully innocent either because of all the mistakes he’s made earlier in life. He once reveled in the darkness of Forbidden Magic and was selfishly power hungry. He did change for the better, but his past still exists. Regardless, Josele will love Nacht. In the grand scheme of things, compared to the infinity of time, Josele’s life is only a short moment, but for all her life, she loved Nacht and will continue to do so until she passes on.

From giant stars, to little flowers, No one will excuse us; Carrying countless sins and shames, Today, and tomorrow, we live…

These lines are Josele and Nacht both reflecting on their lives. By using Forbidden Magic, they’ve tainted their souls. Human law and the laws of nature have both condemned the two of them. The weight of their actions will be with them but, still, they find the will to live on.

You are ugly, not fit for conversation, And much like you, I'm ugly myself… But even still, I want to live with you; I want to love you, only making myself lonely…

“Not fit for conversation” conveys the idea that even normalcy is no longer possible. Nacht and Josele can pretend to be normal but they’ve been broken in ways that make them unlike most people. They see one another’s and their own ugliness. And they love each other, promising to be with one another. The loneliness that is created is the understanding that they might be the only people capable of truly understanding and loving each other. Yes, other people care about Josele and Nacht, but they can't comprehend what the two of them have been through together. It is both deeply intimate but also painful to consider. It's a love that blesses and curses them in a way.

I think the closest song I can compare "You Are Ugly" to is "Like Real People Do" by Hozier. Both songs express the idea that people who are broken or have dark secrets can still find and be reborn through love. Though Yonezu's song sounds harsher using the word "ugly," the overall message is as tender as Hozier's. "You Are Ugly," how it's a love song built on acknowledging the worst parts of one's partner and loving them still, is so fitting for Josele and Nacht, and I couldn't not share this song.

..........

Morgsele (Morgen's feelings for Josele)

Next up, I’m going to explain the songs that represent Morgen’s feelings for Josele. We’re covering these songs first because there are fewer Morgsele songs than Nacsele songs (unfortunately) and also the relationship comes earlier in the timeline.

Jade Wolf (song): With “Jade Wolf,” we’re starting at the point in time where Morgen has realized his feelings for Josele. The song is one that acknowledges struggle while also looking towards a brighter future. It, like Morgen, is hopeful in nature.

The way I read the song, the “jade wolf” spoken of is meant to be the person that the speaker loves. In the English, there is a change of pronouns from “it” to “you” but except for the “jibun” in the second verse, there’s no pronouns distingishing the wolf from who the speaker is addressing. So with the song being from Morgen’s perspective, the jade wolf is Josele.

So what’s said about the jade wolf?

The jade wolf sighs again, not knowing the beauty it possesses; Faced with a high cliff, it sighs; it’d be easy if you just got somebody’s help

The jade wolf is relentless, pointing its anger at itself and singing a song; Fight, even if still no one knows - as long as you can love yourself…

For Josele, the “beauty” that’s unrealized isn’t just literal but also a metaphor for her good qualities overall. Josele has confidence in herself but when she compares herself to others, she sees herself as coming up short. She’s not literally as beautiful as noble ladies and she can’t match the magical strength of people like Yami or Morgen. And in the times when Josele struggles with herself, Morgen wants her to know that what matters in the end is if she loves herself.

I read the “heart’s landmarks” mentioned here to be the things that should matter to Josele. Her opinion of herself, her family and loved ones. The things that define her and give her heart direction. Even with memories of loneliness or confusion, Morgen wants her to continue forward in life doing her best.

I’ve not at all made up my mind how far away I want to go

But are the places full of warmth somewhere still far to go?

Just what are the irreplacable things?

Through never-leaving memories and ever-present suffering, I spend my days just waiting anxious for the end to come

Morgen also has his own troubles to face. Though he would be better at not letting it show, he’s still human and worries about things. He is an optimistic person but there are a lot of things he can’t be certain of. What his future as a Magic Knight holds. The difference between things that are just important and those which he would be unable to live without. There’s also memories of the past and present struggles which hold him back from pursuing the future to his fullest.

The only thing I really want is meeting up with you

Until, to you, who in this world’s more beautiful than anyone- Until the day that I can tell you how much I love you…

There is one thing that Morgen is sure of, however, and that’s his feelings for Josele. He wants to stay connected to her, to meet her in the future, come what may. And Morgen also hopes that one day he’ll be able to confess. He does get the chance but this is set before that moment arrives.

I like “Jade Wolf” as a Morgsele song because, at least the way I read it, the song is for both the speaker and the listener of the song. The speaker reassures the one they love about their anxieties and voices their own. It puts them on equal ground. The song says “we’re both imperfect and struggling but I want a bright future for us.” Despite the little we see of Morgen, he does feel like a person who would hold such feelings.

PLACEBO (song): PLACEBO sounds like something you’d dance to in a club. Granted I’ve never been in a club, I’m just going off vibes, but that’s besides the point. The point is that this song embodies the excitement as well as playfulness in Morgen and Josele’s relationship as they begin dating.

Dreaming feverish dreams, an evening bound by your smile These thoughts, a fleeting delusion? That's not funny at all

At first, Morgen is worried that this new relationship is too good to be true. That he’s having the longest, most pleasant dream of his life. Maybe Josele’s feelings won’t last. Or perhaps the case is that Morgen is mistaking his friendly love for romantic attraction and it might fade soon. No matter what it could be, Morgen doesn’t want those possibilities to be reality and then have to face a sad outcome.

Sprinting off and abducting my heart, go connect the would-be beats Light a fire in that fragrant chest, and let's dance through to the morning Head to the end of that bending, swaying runway, and take my heart along I want us to touch, I want us to shake, it has to be you, this bewilderment...

To put it simply, Josele has stolen Morgen’s heart. He knows this and is perfectly alright with that. I interpret the “go connect the would-be beats” part of the first line as Morgen saying that Josele creates a whole new heartbeat for him out of all the times she’s made his heart skip a beat, hence the “would-be.” Although that’s only based on the English translation so I’m not sure if that was ever the original intention. Either way, being in love and expressing those feelings is a thrill to Morgen that he’s never known before. Morgen wants to experience all those feelings and sensations that come with being in love. And he wants to do it all with Josele.

It's becoming more and more like romance, my heart beating faster, It's unprecedented, a wild rendezvous

Getting caught in a sweet trap, I'm falling down

The first line here is pretty literal. Morgen and Josele have entered a romantic relationship after all. Note that the line in Japanese uses “koi,” the romantic word for “love.” He wouldn’t hold back any of his affection for Josele now that they’re dating, making him enthusiastic to the point of wildness which wold be unexpected of a normally composed person like him. And even though Morgen has already fallen in love with Josele, he will fall in love with her over and over throughout their relationship. Although calling love a “trap” would feel silly to Morgen since a trap is something he wouldn’t want to be in. But his feelings for Josele? He feels very comfortable with them.

I want to make sure (I want to make sure) of that day's coincidence (of that day's coincidence) I want to resolve it, this unexplored mystery (this unnoticed gravity) We can't go back (we can't go back) to how it was before (to how it was before)

Morgen wants to be absolutely certain that whatever is happening between him and Josele is real. He wants to explore their new romantic dynamic and make sense of it. In regards to going back to being friends, it’s less that they “can’t” and more that they don’t want to. At least Morgen knows he doesn’t want that and is (correctly) assuming that Josele doesn’t either. 

It's a temporary crazy, an afterquaking sanity A magic spell that at some point made everything change

Love does kind of make one feel weird or crazy which Morgen would feel on the high that is his love for Josele. Though it’s not exactly the love itself that was that made things change all of a sudden. For Morgen, it was the confession that made it happen.

With a step thrusting out before feelings, fly out into sweet space In this evening's end we've waited for, let's dance through to the morning Intoxicated by glittering lips, issue me an invitation to eternity

These lines express Morgen’s eagerness to be with Josele. To act on his impulses and be as romantic as he likes with her. That “sweet space” for Morgen would be PDA, as he wants to allow himself the freedom to show his adoration of Josele in public. In the high of romantic bliss, Morgen would want to dance with Josele, maybe not literally until morning though he would think he has the energy for that with how fast his heart is racing. But I also think it’s metaphorical. The “evening’s end” is the lead up to their romance—all the crushing and longing it entails—with the dance being their relationship continuing on, not until morning, but towards a bright future. And finally, Morgen would want the pleasure of being tempted to kiss Josele and having the liberty to follow that temptation.

It's becoming more and more like love, my excitement growing, Running into you in a wild peek-a-boo Radiating brilliantly, the mystery deepening,

Here in the second version of the chorus, the word for “love” from the original Japanese is “ai.” I think it highlights how much love is being felt within the song, so much that both of the main words for it have to be said to express. And Morgen is the kind of person who would do that to express his adoration for Josele. Also, the playfulness of the second line is cute. I just imagine Morgen approaching Josele from behind to cover her eyes and whisper “peek-a-boo” into her ear before turning her around for a kiss. Cute, cheesy couple stuff. And while their love is very open, like something shining light, the complexity of the feelings are a bit of their own mystery.

It's not a fleeting delusion, these feelings are no lie It's not my imagination, these feelings are no lie

Here, Morgen is confirming to himself that everything is in fact real. His feelings for Josele. Her feelings for him. Their relationship. What Morgen has with Josele isn’t going to fade away just like that. And that reassurance is freeing.

I really like “PLACEBO” for the vibes it gives off. Fun and free and flirty. Not something that could normally be applied to Morgen but it would show when he’s with Josele. I imagine Morgen and Josele dancing to a song like this, having fun and getting comfortable with openly flirting with one another. It’s another high energy song before Morgen settles into the couple status more and his feelings deepen.

Canary (music video): These are the thoughts that Morgen has once he feels more sure of his relationship with Josele and has come down from that initial high at the start of dating. He’s quietly, peacefully considering the bond that the two of them share.

The more nostalgic I get for commonplace days, The more I tremble on sinking, sputtering nights,

As things change and he moves to the future, Morgen would think about the past with greater fondness. And sometimes, the memories and emotions would overwhelm him to the point of tears. It’s not a bad thing though. They are what make Morgen himself and he’s grateful to be able to look on his past with such clarity.

The time I walked with you through stuffiness, Then when I turned around, saw your smiling face; For some reason, I recalled that

Being Magic Knights, Morgen and Josele face a lot more trying situations. Through tough missions, judgment of their relationship, and their own inner demons, the two of them go through it together. Morgen is thinking about these recent trials in life and how a part of him worried about Josele during them. But then he was able to see Josele smiling through it all. It’s a relief, an inspiration, for Morgen. Knowing that Josele isn’t discouraged reassures Morgen.

I think I want to remember how your fingertips were trembling…

I want to support you more than anything - I feel that so, so strongly...

Morgen knows Josele is strong, physically and emotionally. But in these lines, he is lamenting the fact that she is also weak and thinks to himself how he wants to protect her in those moments when she is vulnerable. Whether she is shaking with fear or sorrow, Morgen will be there for Josele. Because she does the same for him. It doesn’t make Josele any less if she shows weakness, it’s just another part of her. And Morgen loves every part of Josele.

You and I will both change, I'm sure Sometimes we'll quarrel and hurt each other, I'm sure Every time we lose sight of each other, I want to fall in love, And assure each other...

These lines are all about reaffirming the love that’s shared. It’s true that Morgen has fallen in love with Josele as she presently is but he wants her to know he’s fine with her changing. And if they ever disagree, Morgen loves her enough to forgive and make amends. Because it’s in their nature as humans. Morgen wants to fall in love over and over, through their best and worst times.

The various lines across the different versions of the chorus say it all best.

It's fine; if I'm with you, it's fine Even if we can never return to this place again, If I'm with you, it's fine Let's walk together, until the end

It's fine; it's you, so it's fine Even if no one can see the two of us, It's you, so it's fine Going the way the fluttering wind calls…

Even if there's nothing there at the end,

Morgen believes that with Josele at his side, he can face whatever the world throws at him. As much as things change. If society doesn’t approve of them. If they don’t become anybody special. Morgen is telling Josele that he wants to be with her forever. That they’ll do whatever calls to them. The two of them will be okay together. It’s a gentle message of hope and comforting love.

Perhaps Morgen is saying the things that come up in the lyrics to Josele directly. Or maybe he’s thinking to himself. Either way, Morgen has a clearer understanding of his love for Josele and putting it to words. “Canary” is a quiet and intimate song that seems just so perfect for a kind, loving person like Morgen.

Fireworks (music video) (Yonezu cover): “Fireworks” is this romantic, dreamlike song that, to me, somehow feels like it is nostalgic for the present while wishing for the future at the same time. This song isn’t a grand moment of realization, but it’s one of the moments where Morgen just stops and thinks to himself about his love for Josele.

That day I looked over the shore, I still remember it now  Words etched into the sand, and the view of you from behind

Waves nearing and retreating pass my feet, carrying something In the evening calm, only the sunset passes by

A while ago, I released a theory/headcanon that the Fausts lived relatively close to the coast of Clover Kingdom. So these lines are taken quite literally, as Morgen reminiscing about a time, any at all, when he took Josele to the beach for a date. The moment was utterly serene with just himself and Josele present. He is remembering the mundane beauty of it. Of a beach he’s been to dozens of times over the years. Of the young woman whom he’s known and loved for so long.

Blooming with a bright pop, I watched the fireworks This is a summer still neverending, I'm sure... Unraveling and tying my unsure heart, I wished this night would continue on...

These lines could be literal. Morgen and Josele watching an actual firework show in the summertime and Morgen wishing to hold onto such a dream-like moment for much longer. Although I have a metaphorical reading. The fireworks are a stand-in for the relationship between Morgen and Josele, it’s something beautiful and bright in their lives. And instead of just the night of fireworks continuing, Morgen is wishing for their love to continue. I do like the imagery of the third line. Imagining the heart as a ball of tangled yarn, like emotions being a tangled mess, and then securely tying the heart to a certain moment or feeling.

What can that do for your smiling face? Being hurt, finding joy, repeating waves and emotions

Again and again, I'll put it into words and call for you Choosing a gap in the waves, once more, more, more, more, So that you won't have to be sad again...

Morgen wants to be the one to make Josele smile each and every day. So he asks her what he can do to make that happen. The connection between ocean waves and emotions is something I like, too. Like waves, feelings ebb and flow and can come in varying degrees of strength. Then, to make Josele happy, he will reassure her of his love as many times as necessary. The last line is basically what Morgen promises to Josele in the future, that he will never make her cry from sadness.

The warm future we could touch if we reached out our hands,

Morgen doesn’t want to merely wait for the future to come to him. He’s going to reach out and take it in his hands if he can. He wants to actively move towards a fate he desires. One filled with warmth and hope. And if Josele is there too, even better.

Don't let go, (don't leave me,) For just a little longer, (for just a little longer,) For just a little longer, Stay this way...

These little lines, which get echoed in the duet version of the song, is Morgen wanting to stay with Josele. And in the duet, Josele is sharing the sentiment. It’s short and sweet and beautiful like that.

I love “Fireworks” for the dreamy atmosphere the tune creates. It takes something that feels very common (summer fireworks) and makes it feel new. It’s that beauty in the familiar that connects to Morgen and the way he feels for Josele. The song’s lyrics show a love for the present and hope for the future which is part of their relationship too.

Night Bugs on a Rainy Street (guitar cover): The next song for Morgsele is a light-hearted and fun one. Maybe I’m focusing on the title too much, but when I listen to “Night Bugs on a Rainy Street,” I imagine Morgen pulling Josele to dance in the rain. The tune is upbeat with a sense of smoothness to it. And the vibes with the lyrics make it a song that is a declaration of love in a “it’s just the two of us” way. Putting this song in the timeline of the ship, it takes place later in the relationship but before Morgen and Josele become engaged.

Was it your hand or mine that was trembling? That night when the town lights bounced off the rain...

For me, the first lines set a scene where Morgen and Josele are standing under a veranda at night while it rains. Perhaps whoever’s hand is trembling is a result of the cold rain or being overcome with emotion. The moment isn’t all gloomy though, as indicated by light reflecting on the rain. It introduces a brightness to the moment.

Exchanging mismatched words, laughing together If we're together, I'm sure we can go to all corners of the earth...

In the quiet of a rainy but illuminated night, Morgen is able to be at ease with Josele. They can be relaxed and joke around, friends and lovers at the same time. Morgen loves that about Josele and their relationship. Morgen also has the optimism and confidence to make the claim spoken in the second line. Like the last couple of songs, this one is thinking about the future as well.

It was like an ambiguous game of spotting mistakes, Not knowing what was a mistake and what was correct

We just bluffed and said "this must be right," But really, we knew what was at the end of the road

Though Morgen is still growing, he’s still young and figuring things out. He’s going through life by following his heart and being true to who he is. And Josele is much the same. They do their best even if they won’t always be right.

Making a promise that no one knows about, We alone knew it and walked along To the point of exaggeration, we'll sing of love, Hoping to paint over the sad songs…

We gripped it between our hands Even if we're made fun of, we'll sing of love, Hoping that I could go anywhere with you...

The lines from the choruses are the core of the idea of “it’s just the two of us” in regards to love. It’s not an “us against the world” mindset that Morgen is holding. The way I apply “Night Bugs on a Rainy Street” to Morgsele, the “promise” in question isn’t a literal one but rather the topic of Morgen and Josele’s relationship. While they are publicly dating, no one knows everything about what they share. Morgen’s belief is that he and Josele are the only ones who define their relationship. And they can have literal secrets as a couple. Thus, no one else “knows” it. From there, Morgen and Josele can overcome negativity or judgment. Morgen wants their love to truly belong to them.

"Don't wake up," "don't go away," I'm wishing like such a fool And saying we could go anywhere, I told blatantly obvious lies...

Here is a moment of Morgen letting his guard down, showing fragility in his desires. He doesn’t want to lose what he has with Josele so he begs her not to leave him. Morgen also isn’t above admitting that such grand declarations of being able to go anywhere or do anything at all just because he and Josele are together sound ridiculous. But he still wants and wishes. 

When you want to vanish, or when you feel good, I wished that at any time, you could be there beside me, And that this promise that no one knows about Wouldn't be washed away by the pouring rain...

Hoping that I could go anywhere with you...

Again, Morgen declares his love for Josele. And he declares his wishes for their future together. No matter what she may be feeling. No matter where they may go in life. Morgen promises Josele his love for her. That they will love each other for their own sakes and that love will last.

I think this song is a good balance of depth of emotion and high spirits. It’s able to express the tender and playful sides of love at the same time which feels very appropriate for someone like Morgen. There is a confidence in what Morgen is expressing while still understanding that things might not work out perfectly. It’s a wonderful song for Morgen and Josele as their relationship reaches its climax.

Spot the Difference (music video) (Yonezu cover): This song is definitely one that hits the feels just a bit harder. The two versions of the song do a great job of reflecting the two main aspects of the song. Suda’s version of the song is gentler and romantic, which plays up the intimacy of what the lyrics say. Meanwhile, Yonezu’s cover with the more complex instrumentals shows the depth and intensity of the feelings shared. What’s conveyed through the song is vulnerable and yearning in nature. It’s the emotions in the instrumentation and the thoughts in the lyrics put together that make this song such a strong Morgsele song.

The "wrong" picture in a spot-the-difference, That's what I felt like I was born as But if I'd been the "right" picture in a spot-the-difference, Then I'm sure we wouldn't have met…

For those who didn’t read the small note at the end of the translation, Japanese “spot the difference” games have one picture be right and the other wrong. And it’s canon that Morgen is the black sheep of the Faust family for being upright and not compatible with their practices of using Forbidden Magic. So Morgen is the “wrong” one in the Faust family, something he is able to figure out. However, he is at peace with that fact. If he hadn’t been born the type of person he is, he and Josele might not have become friends and fallen in love.

Being able to smile at each other, appropriately, I wonder, why does it make tears come out?

Why does smiling bring out tears? The answer to Morgen’s question is that the tears are ones of joy. He’s overwhelmingly happy to have Josele in his life. That’s why he smiles and cries at the same time.

In minute crevices filled with mistakes, We tell worthless stories until we're exhausted Wanting to be right, but unable to be; I wonder what that loneliness rears?

Morgen knows that he is bound to make mistakes as a human. In that mistake riddled life, he takes the time to simply be himself. He sees seemingly worthless or flawed things as having their own beauty. Even if he wants to always be right and perfect, Morgen knows that can’t happen. As for the loneliness mentioned in the lyrics, I interpret it as being guilt or doubt from not being right. And Morgen does do something wrong in not reporting his family’s crimes right away (in canon, he laments if his death is karma for his choice).

Your eyes pierced me, straight through the chest From that day forth, I felt everything had changed completely About to be blown away by wind, in the corner of deep spring, Just casually, to the point that it's boring, be beside me…

I take the first line two ways. I could be literal, in that Morgen feels himself pierced by Josele’s gaze, or perhaps that his heart has skipped a beat. It could also be symbolic of Josele being able to see Morgen for who he truly is, accepting his weaknesses and imperfections. “That day” mentioned, in this case, is the night of Morgen and Josele’s engagement. It’s a step to solidifying a shared future for Josele. The change is also sudden, comparable to a gust of wind. And being married would mean that Josele and Morgen would be with each other everyday casually.

I touched your hand, our fingers overlapped, And "wrong" or "right" didn't matter anymore Dropping in the blink of an eye, within a light haze, I simply had the strongest feeling, that it could only be you…

Again, the interaction of the hands is literal and symbolic. Here, when Morgen reaches out for Josele, she reaches back. Mutually, they seek and rely on one another, intertwined in each other’s lives like their fingers when they hold hands. Morgen is also reassured that he doesn’t have to be “right” for his family or perfect for everyone else. Because he has Josele, the one he loves and who loves him back, regardless of anything else. For Morgen, it has to be her. All these feelings building up inside him results in Morgen crying, becoming misty-eyed and trying to blink away the tears, hence the third line.

Show me a face you won't show anyone else…

Like I explained with the previous song, no one but Morgen and Josele know everything about their relationship. What Morgen asks for here is a continuation of that. For Josele to have a side of herself that only Morgen would get to know.

I place this song happening after Morgen and Josele are engaged. Morgen is going to share his life with Josele and so is letting down every wall. He doesn’t lie but he was shown to be willing to withhold certain information. And I think he’d hold in his negative feelings. But now, he knows Josele wants to be with him to the end. So he pours his heart out to her. Like I said, the music and words together are filled with so much emotion. And I imagine these are the types of things Morgen would confess to Josele, knowing she will understand and be with him through it all.

Final thought regarding this song but the Suda version of “Spot the Difference” gives me two scenarios. Either Morgen could be playing and singing this song for Josele. Or, given the waltzy feel of the music, they could be dancing to it instead. Both are very beautiful, tender images that will be living in my head rent free forever.

Monster's March (song): Based on the title alone, “Monster’s March” wouldn’t seem to fit Morgen’s character. But then you listen to the music and read the translated lyrics and it makes sense. This song has a little bit of every other song that came before. There is a hope for the future, light-heartedness, concern, comfort, and vulnerability all in this one song. I see Morgen saying the things that are said in the song while out on a romantic evening stroll with Josele. He’s relaxed and wants to be straightforward about what’s on his mind.

Wanting to talk to you just a little better, I learned more words Will you be glad? I'll be happy if you are...

This is Morgen reflecting on his and Josele’s past. It’s not just about “learning words” but trying more and putting himself out there to be able to connect to Josele. Morgen never tried to be anything he wasn’t, but he did want to try to be more. Of course Josele would answer Morgen that she’s happy that he wanted to try so hard to be her friend.

In a place far away, I was born So that I could meet you Without distractions, I treaded on a single road…

The “far away place” is more like a far away position. Morgen belongs to the noble house of Faust while Josele is a commoner. Yes, the divide isn’t as great as nobles and peasants but they still weren’t born in the same social worlds. Ultimately, Morgen is saying it’s fortunate they were born the way they were and have shared the life they have thus far. And from that point onward, Morgen wants to continue forward without wasting thoughts on what could’ve been.

Don't be afraid, sing with me Keep on crossing, beyond the ocean In a strange voice, sing of love My heart is clear…

Morgen knows Josele is okay but he still wants to reassure her. He doesn’t want her to fear other people disapproving of her, or the impossible chance that he would stop loving her, or anything else that she worries about. He encourages Josele to focus on their love as they continue on. That last line explains itself, Morgen knows what he wants and so his heart isn’t jumbled up with confusing or heavy thoughts.

Forever and ever, without any end, May we be friends From our joy of believing each other, let's start once again...

Well, Morgen wants him and Josele to be more than friends. Then again, it’s common to say “marry your best friend” so I guess Morgen is following that advice. The point is that Morgen is proclaiming his desire to love Josele forever, in this life and the next. And through marriage, they kind of are starting over. He and Josele will begin a new life and, Morgen hopes, a new family.

The way I am, all covered in mud, I can't live this way, of course I knew that And so I'll sing, I'll sing of love It's good to be with you...

I read the mud as symbolic of guilt or secrets. For Morgen, it’s the Faust family’s secret devil work in specific. Even though he isn’t directly involved in that, it weighs on his consciousness. And he doesn’t want to live with burdens on his mind. In the meantime, as Morgen decides what he will do about his troubles, he loves Josele and makes it known.

To have been able to meet you now, oh, I really am so glad A star burning bright in my chest; though I'm lonely, it's radiant…

The lines from the bridge are so very sweet. It’s a simple confession from Morgen to Josele of how blessed he feels to know her. The star imagery also suits the both of them. Morgen is compared to light generally and Josele is associated with stars specifically. The star is meant to be Morgen’s heart, as it’s “in his chest.” In the moments when he finds himself physically alone, the love in his heart is strong enough to keep him from feeling lonely.

Now let's head out, leaving the desert Though there will surely be sad times as well, Let's look for where the rainbow comes from For the tomorrow I hope to meet with you, I'll hide my tears…

I'm not a fool who doesn't doubt, I just have a heart that believes I want to sleep beside you, And when I wake up, the next morning, To have had the same dream...

The two versions of the choruses together condense all the feelings spoken throughout the song. Morgen wants himself and Josele to head to the future with the desert representing the things they’ve already had to struggle through. He tells Josele that they’ll focus on the things that make them happy, hence the “where the rainbow comes from” line. This doesn’t mean that nothing will go wrong though. Morgen acknowledges that there will still be unpleasant days in the future, it’s just that his faith is stronger than his anxieties. Finally, there is the image created in the last few lines, of falling asleep with the one you love and then being able to wake up beside them. That “dream” isn’t simply for when Morgen is asleep but his constant dream of being able to share his life with Josele.

“Monster’s March” feels like an embodiment of Morgen’s feelings for Josele. It voices adoration while also revealing feelings of worry. However, it overall has a positive tone thanks to the expressions of assuring hope. Morgen is looking forward to the future, no matter what it holds, because he will be heading towards it with the love of his life, Josele. He believes in the two of them and this song delivers that message perfectly.

Spirit of the Sea (music video): The last song regarding Morgen’s feelings for Josele takes place after his death. His spirit is looking back on his life. These are the emotions that linger even beyond the grave.

In this wide open room, there's no one here Just a single chair, stained with the smell of sea breeze

I’m not taking the scene being set here as a literal thing. In the context of Morgen and Josele’s relationship, I see this as his ghost visiting Josele and seeing how she’s lost herself to grief. Josele has chosen to isolate herself from others. She has loved ones to turn to but she instead closes off her heart. The chair stained with the smell of the sea is Josele as she is overwhelmed with sadness and tears.

I'll leave it open so you won't get lost; Knocking on the creaky door What should I even say first? Maybe I'll have no idea...

Morgen knows he can’t actually reach out and speak to Josele as a ghost. The “knock” on the door is Morgen’s wish from beyond the grave that Josele will open herself to others again. The open door he leaves behind is the chance that others will be able to reach Josele and help her heal. Because he is sure someone will help her. Nacht and Yami are the most likely options but Morgen can’t know for sure. And I also think that Morgen would want to give Josele a message from beyond the grave, but even if he could, he might not know what to say.

Like a shower of stars, I want to meet you Never will I forget that night… The most important things, words can't describe Everything that happened in those summer days

Like watching a sky of shooting stars, it would be a beautiful and dream-like thing for Morgen to meet with Josele again. He would also be very glad that he gets to keep his memories with him in the next life. All those precious memories from throughout his life, of the things he shared with Josele.

Somewhere, you hear the sound of laughter The feel of a warm cheek After walking the twisty road, Your eyelids open...

These lines could be one of two things. One way it could be taken is that Morgen is remembering his time with Josele. It’s a memory where Josele would’ve been hearing his laugh and feeling his warmth against her. Josele would be remembering it too. It’s a moment where Morgen and Josele are in the same state of mind, wishing to go back to those times. Alternatively, it is Morgen knowing that someday—not soon but eventually—Josele will find people who will make her smile again. She’ll walk that twisted road of despair and then open her eyes to happiness again.

Even if we're separated, the time will come; We'll shout, "I'm happy now" The most important things, words can't describe Dissolving in the bounding light...

Death is an irreversible way to be separated. But Morgen believes that Josele will overcome the loss as her heart is strong. He trusts her to move on without forgetting him, and find happiness again. Their love isn’t gone, transcending life and death to keep them connected. It’s that thought that comforts Morgen as he waits from the afterlife.

On a sandy shore, with a cool breeze…  We'll meet again…

Again, I will insist that the Fausts lived by the coast so this imagery works thematically. A sunny beach with a good breeze is peaceful and nostalgic for Morgen. And when the time finally comes for Josele to join Morgen in the heavens, that reunion will be like standing on the beach again. Like a good memory, like living again.

“Spirit of the Sea” is Morgen’s goodbye to Josele. It breaks his heart that he has to leave her, but that is the nature of death. All he can do now is wish for her future happiness. It’s a beautiful, bittersweet sentiment to end on. But it suits the sweet love story of Morgen and Josele which ends with bitter tragedy.

..........

Nacsele (Nacht's feelings for Josele)

The reason Nacsele has so many more songs dedicated to it is because, well, a lot of Yonezu’s songs have melancholy themes. There are love songs but with tragic twists. And Nacht’s love for Josele is a long, tragic story.

Headless Cuckoo (song): The start of the Nacsele love story begins with “Headless Cuckoo.” On its own, the song is about how love is a difficult feeling that some might not even bother dealing with but that it might be worthwhile to put your heart out there because other people have their own hearts too. For Nacht, this song is about him realizing his feelings for Josele and the anxieties that come up as well. The song is upbeat but it also has elements of dissonance and cacophonous sound which suits Nacht’s chaotic feelings upon having his love epiphany.

Come, come, come, shall we dance? In a hurry, our legs tangle, Resulting in a noisy sound;

Everyone's hearts are heavy, Filled with things they'll never forget

Here, Nacht is his usual self, playing around and raising a little hell for the fun of it. He’s asking Josele to dance with him, to laugh and have fun as they always have been. Nacht wants to pretend that things aren’t changing, like he doesn’t have a care in the world. However, deep down, he cares and his heart is burdened with feelings that aren’t going away anytime soon.

Hey, hey, you, where's your head?

Hey, hey, you, where are your feelings? Show me you can cry, show me you can laugh!

Nacht is talking to himself in this section. Asking himself what he is thinking, falling in love with Josele. He’s wondering why he’s such a fool to fall for his friend who he thinks is too good for him. And he even questions his own feelings, if he really has them.

To want to be loved only makes you sad, So I don't even want to be looked at, But I'm much like you, looking for words, Wanting to kindle a fire and talk…

I was born in an undoubtedly strange form, And though I don't have the means to do it… That I'm much like you, that I have a heart; It'd be nice to know that for sure…

For Nacht, wanting Josele to love him back is a sad thing because he doesn’t believe he deserves that. Instead of a “strange form,” Nacht was born with ominous Shadow Magic, has a troublesome attitude, and is a bad influence. There’s a lot about him that people disapprove of. So he would rather avoid his feelings and not let those feelings be “seen.” Nacht still spends time with Josele as friends, wanting that warmth and connection with her, even if it isn’t romantic in nature. And though it is unknown to Nacht, Josele is in a similar situation of realizing and figuring out her feelings.

With uncertain songs amassing, My voice can't help but tremble,

Ahh, ahh, when I open my mouth, it all turns to ash, All turned to frozen ash, never to be words at all Ahh, ahh, some days my head just falls right off, My little head just falling off, as if it wants to embarrass me…

Things really are a mess for Nacht in his heart. He can’t even fathom the words he would need to confess and be taken seriously. Nacht is overwhelmed by frustration with himself, feeling like a fool in love and not knowing how to express it. And that messes with his head even more. But even if his feelings are chaotic, he still has the heart to care for Josele.

I can't be so certain if I'm being loved, So I'd like it to be something tangible, But any way you see it, that's quite a lie; It couldn't ever be just one thing…

Of course I know that there's dirty air Hanging in the space between Any way you see it, I have a heart;

In all of Nacht’s confused feelings, he would also ask if Josele even loves him back. She’s straightforward and affectionate but that’s just how she is so it’s unclear. And like the lyrics say, it’s more than that. There’s the fact that their friendship is on the line if Josele doesn’t reciprocate Nacht’s feelings. And Morgen harboring feelings for Josele are another thing Nacht worries about. Doubt, fear, confusion. It all comes together and makes things too complicated for Nacht. What results is a “dirty air,” a tension of uncertainty between Nacht and Josele. It doesn’t affect their friendship, for now, but Nacht feels it.

I see the song as Nacht venting about how he can’t really confess to Josele but that he still cares about her. He might be a delinquent and he may hide his emotions away, but that doesn’t make his feelings worth any less. Nacht might disagree but that doesn’t stop him from loving Josele as much as he allows himself. This is going to be the most optimistic song for a while because after this, the pain of Nacht’s unrequited love only gets stronger.

Cinderella Gray (guitar cover): First thing's first, I gotta point out how this song doesn’t apply to Grey! Grey is based on Cinderella! The title is “Cinderella Gray”! Kenshi Yonezu, how dare you not see into the future to know that Grey would be revealed to be based on Cinderella and write your song in line with that! This is a crime!/j

Moving onto how the song applies to Nacht and his feelings for Josele. Here, Nacht begins to feel a lot more negativity over his unrequited love for Josele. And even though his love for Josele is the source of his pain, Nacht doesn’t hold any resentment towards her. He can’t blame her for something she doesn’t know about. And so Nacht stews in his messy, painful love.

Hey, why is it that you make such a fool of me this way, Trying to give me kindness and consolation? Every time you do, miserable thoughts bubble up; Don't you get how worthless it makes me feel?

By this point, Nacht is definitely in love with Josele but has already decided that, no, he’s not going to confess. But even though he’s decided to never voice them, he can’t ignore his feelings for Josele. She shows his affection and care everyday, though as a friend. Nacht feels bad about wanting more from her. Although he hates how something as beautiful as love is making him feel awful, Nacht holds nothing against Josele. He can’t blame for something she’s not aware of after all. 

I can walk around a town filled with all these colors, But I'm uncolored, I'm gray, so where should I go? You can say I should live how I want to, But while I should know that, I just forget it, always, always, always…

Nacht is surrounded by amazing, admirable people. Morgen is the picture of a perfect man, kind and heroic. Josele is vibrant, caring, and determined in nearly all she does. Yami may act like a scoundrel but he is brave and defends the weak. And then there’s Nacht, still a delinquent doing nothing with his life. Even if Josele is okay with how he is, he wonders if Josele is ashamed of him at all, because she’s so good and he’s not.

The things I don't even want to remember will never fade away In my jumbled head, where I can't sort anything out, I remembered them again…

His love for Josele. That’s what Nacht would like to forget but the feelings won’t go away. And his mind is left a mess because he wants her but also wants to stay away. To not taint her with his darkness.

The pumpkin carriage, the glass slippers, they didn't fit me, Just happening to be there in uneventful days This world is so brilliant, it just dizzies me, As if making insinuations about colorless me...

Optimism like that seen in fairy tales was never for Nacht. He doesn’t see himself as fitting in anywhere. His brother, friend, and crush are Magic Knights. When Nacht stands beside them, compares himself to those he cares for, he feels like a lesser person. He thinks, hopes, that they don’t look down on him, that’s just his own feelings.

That's enough, I don't care at all about how it'll turn out About you, about me, about everything to come "My darling Prince, live for my sake," I wanted to say, But for not saying it that day, I hate, hate, hate me…

Nacht would pick up on the fact that Morgen likes Josele, and figure that Josele likes Morgen back. All without realizing that she likes him too because she shows the twins the same kind of affection. He just thinks that Josele wouldn’t be able to love someone as tainted as him. He wouldn’t blame Josele for preferring Morgen to him, since his brother is clearly the better one. As much as he wants to confess and be with Josele, he doesn’t say a thing and he hates himself for his hidden feelings.

I don't even want the freedom to feel like I can go anywhere The sole inconvenience that was you was keeping me free - That, I've now realized…

Nacht is cursing his contradictory thoughts. He’s in love with Josele but consciously chooses to not say anything about it. Even if his unrequited love inconveniences him (which is an understatement to say the least), Nacht doesn’t want his heart to be “free” of that love. He is happier loving Josele from afar than not having anyone to love.

"Love is forever," said somebody to somebody to somebody If that's really true, then how long will I have to suffer? Even after midnight's passed, some things will just never vanish; I'm begging you, begone, gone, gone, gone…!

Though I was scared, though it hurt, though nobody would believe me, You alone, your voice alone, had always smiled for me…

My aching heart won't heal, because I'm shamefully hoping I just wanted you alone, your voice alone, to be kind to me, that's all…

Nacht wouldn’t really mind the idea of loving Josele forever, even in his pained, distanced way. He’s fine with that. He fears getting any closer because of his bad influence. Josele is one of the few lights in Nacht’s life, his dear friend and now his first love, whose every aspect he adores. Even if his love is never truly fulfilled, he has her as a friend. It’s enough, or so he tells himself.

Overall, “Cinderella Gray” is about hopeless love. There’s no specific reason given in the song but the speaker being gray in a colorful world gives the general sense of not belonging or lacking something that others have. Nacht feels like he lacks the goodness that his loved ones do have to properly love Josele. Also, Nacht being “gray” works as shadows are between pure light (which would be white) and pure darkness (which would be black). That’s a super minor detail but I wanted to include it regardless.

Love and Fever (music video) (full version): The idea of Nacht struggling with wanting to love Josele and be loved by her is continued in this song. “Love and Fever” is less frantic in tone than the previous song. The thoughts in this song reflect Nacht’s resignation regarding Josele. It hasn’t quite reached the point of acceptance, but Nacht is getting there.

The things I liked became less and less, And the things I hated grew more and more I watched the clouds from the window, And I watched people's backs...

There was more and more I wanted to say, But more and more that I didn't As the sky got dirty, I watched it; Always trying to turn to night...

Nacht was never interested in much to begin with. He was so bored with life that he turned to Forbidden Magic to entertain him (though that has yet to happen as of this song). The things, or rather people, he likes are limited to his family—mostly Morgen—Yami, and Josele. Meanwhile, there’s plenty more he dislikes. Being on his own as his loved ones join the knights. Yami and Morgen being a dynamic duo, making him feel replaced by both. Any boring thing. His unspoken feelings for Josele. On the topic of those unspoken feelings, they build up and he wants to say something but can’t. All Nacht feels like he can do for now is watch the world go by, people passing him by and the cycle of day to night.

Since I can't go anywhere, what will you do with me?

Succumbing to dizziness, I dreamed, A daydream with everything crammed in; My desire to love, my desire to be loved, I stuffed it all in, until I was empty…

The first line is a question from Nacht directed at Josele. Although he might try to distance himself from her, he’s not going to completely leave her life. So Nacht wants to know what Josele thinks of him, how she’ll treat him, from here on out. As for Nacht, like a love struck teen, he’s going to daydream about what it would be like to date Josele if he confessed and she returned his affections. But Nacht has already made the choice not to share his feelings. So he keeps them deep inside himself, ironically leaving him feeling empty on a surface level.

I came to learn more and more, But forgot just as many things As the bus rattled, I looked outside; What are you capturing with your camera?

"Keep it a secret, okay?" "Promise me?" Even with those, I'll someday be alone

Nacht may be a genius when it comes to magic but he fails to notice, and thus forgets, how much his loved ones care for him. As he watches the world around him, he wonders how Josele views it. What is life like through her lens? They’re changing, leading Nacht to lament that all their promises and secrets will be meaningless if they grow further apart, which he feels that they are.

If you saw a pair so similar, what would you do?

The slightest lies caused an inflammation; I've long been afflicted by what feels like a fever My desire to love, my desire to be loved... I can't let them go, and ask forgiveness...

Yet another question Nacht would want to ask Josele. If Josele saw people in the same situation as her and Nacht, then her reaction would give Nacht an idea on what he could do. Meanwhile, Nacht’s love grows and it hurts the more he hides it. Nacht and Josele are so close and yet so impossibly far from the possibility of getting together in his mind. It makes him feel bad, like he’s doing something wrong by wanting Josele.

I didn't want anyone to hate me, So I was always, always hating Hating everyone, hating myself… Even you, even myself…

When you aren't there, in all sorts of ways, All sorts of things, I come to hate…

The way I see it, Nacht has always had self-loathing issues. He doesn’t want those he cared for to be hurt by him and end up hating him in response. The negative feelings he held towards himself are also projected outwards, making him hate the world. And perhaps, in a moment of weakness, Nacht might think he hates Josele for not noticing his feelings or for making him deal with a painful love. But ultimately, he is the person he hates most.

Afflicted with a fever, I dreamed, And my blind eyes saw falling sunlight My desire to love, my desire to be loved… I hope you forgive me for living with those wants…

Despite feeling like he doesn’t deserve to love Josele or be loved by her, Nacht still dreams that it could happen. He has “blind eyes” in the sense that Josele is openly affectionate with him but he fails to register it as the love he’s seeking, all because nothing is said directly. So Nacht thinks being with Josele is impossible. All that he can do now is apologize for wanting her.

Nacht is lovesick; so in love that it makes him act irrational but also sick of how love isn’t kind to him, though he blames that on himself. “Love and Fever” conveys a bitterness aimed towards the self and to the world. It’s a love song that is made tragic by a struggle to communicate or a lack of communication altogether, fitting for Nacht.

Mirage Song (guitar cover): Here in “Mirage Song,” we see Nacht beginning to accept that he cannot be with Josele. The main reason being that Josele is now dating Morgen. Now, Nacht has a concrete reason why he can’t confess as it would complicate things between the three of them. So he quietly accepts it. The frustration Nacht felt in previous songs is gone. It never did Nacht any good in the first place so why would he hold onto it. Instead, what he feels towards Josele is loss and sorrow but also tenderness.

I always thought about how I wanted to stroke your hair, Because your voice would someday go away Every time the world of tomorrow comes a little closer, I feel the "today" left behind and sneeze

The sun shining, we walked along a wet road mirage, Covered by an almost strange silence We learned there's no going back to days past, And that the memories of that day are too far to touch

These lyrics are Nacht reflecting that the relationship he and Josele have is changing in an irreversible way. Because they’re childhood friends, they’re used to physical affection. But with Josele now officially dating Morgen, any physicality between her and Nacht might be deemed inappropriate. And, if all goes well for the new couple, there will be no going back. I also think that, as strange as it seems, the line about sneezing works as a good metaphor for the feeling of how fast things change. For Nacht, it’s as though he looked away for only a second and suddenly, everything is different. The change is recent but already, the past and present Nacht has with Josele already feels like it’s fading for him.

Now, I live, and the more I live, The things I can't touch increase I've never gotten a single thing, But I feel like I'm losing something... Why is that?

The way I understand it, “touch” is more than just physical contact. For how it relates to Nacht and Josele, it’s also about Nacht being able to reach out to and hold onto Josele in an emotional sense. Nacht feels like there’s less connection between him and Josele as time goes on. It’s not a conscious choice by either, simply the result of them making different life choices. Of course, Nacht wonders why he’s lost when he never tried to have Josele in the first place.

"I wonder if we can keep living the same way in the world of tomorrow?", Spoke yesterday's self in the mirage

These lines are Nacht looking back on past thoughts. He used to think, even hoped, that things between him and Josele would stay the same. But looking back on those thoughts he would see himself as a fool for having them.

Have I mourned anything? In a place which such bright sunlight as this… Have I doubted anything? Even though you're always beside me…

Have I feared anything? Even when I can't take or give… Have I sought anything? Even though you're always beside me…

These lines together show Nacht is asking himself why he feels so discontent. If he were to just look at the facts, things seem fine. He has a good life, living as he pleases. He has Josele as a friend, never expecting more. And yet he has anxieties about Josele choosing Morgen over him. Nacht asks himself but can’t find an answer.

Now, I come close, and the closer I get, The "you"s I don't know increase I don't need a thing, but despite that, I feel like I'm not satisfied... Why is that?

Although they can get closer as friends, Nacht knows there are things about Josele that he doesn’t know. Because he’s not Morgen, not her romantic partner. The side of her that’s in love, that’s not for Nacht to know. He tells himself over and over that he doesn’t need Josele to love him so long as she’s in his life but deep down he knows that isn’t true and is disappointed in that. And again, he asks himself why he’s dissatisfied when he chose to never confess.

As much as I confirm it, As much as I call for you, You're always right there, Smiling for me, yet...

Where we live in now is the present And that it's filled with despair...

And that it's filled with disappointment... I don't want to say that at all That's all it is, it's true...

The bridge has this moment of denial which is why I think it’s repeated, as a way of showing a struggle with what reality is. Even though at the moment, Josele is with Nacht, the way they are in the present isn’t going to last. That is the “despair” and “disappointment” the lyrics refer to. The fleeting time they have together. Nacht knows that to be the truth and is refusing it, if only for a short time.

Now, I live, and the more I live, The "now"s I adore increase While I've never gotten a single thing, There's something I can't lose A mirage song…

The final lines of the song are Nacht’s acceptance. Despite the fact that Josele dating Morgen would keep her and Nacht in close proximity, Nacht feels like he’s losing her because of the changed relationship dynamics. So while he can still be as close to Josele as he likes, Nacht will treasure all the time that he has with her. Nacht appreciates every moment he gets to have. And those memories, a mirage of the past, will stay with Nacht.

The overall theme of “Mirage Song” is the anxiety of losing someone precious. A feeling of missing someone who is there but may go away someday. However, there are still things that last after loss, namely the memories that were made with that person. It is sadness lifted up by a final, hopeful thought. Nacht laments these thoughts, not just as a possibility but an inevitability. Until that happens though, he wants to create as many memories with Josele to hold onto.

Vivi (music video): Taking place after Morgen and Josele’s engagement, the thoughts expressed by “vivi” reflect Nacht wanting to fully let go of Josele despite still loving her. Because, to Nacht, that’s all he can really do at this point. This is a love song, but one defined by heartbreak which is present not only in the lyrics but the dissonant instrumentals.

Words I swallow sadly, they always trail behind me Words I spout while irritated, there's surely no taking back

When I make words, they smell like lies; When given form, all becomes unclear I can't make a single thing the way I want it; I'm simply spineless…

Like earlier songs, the lyrics here voice the pain that comes as a result of the inability to communicate properly with someone beloved. There are the words left unspoken and words that can’t be taken back which haunt Nacht. The denial of his feelings. The insistence that they’re only friends. Every denial of his true feelings and insistence that they remain friends hurt Nacht. It makes him feel more worthless as time goes on.

I love you, Vivi - once tomorrow comes, I'm going to have to say bye-bye This sleepy town, near turned to ashes, I leave behind, and you with it…

Nacht wants to avoid further pain by pulling away from Josele, even if he loves her, because he fears hurting her. In this interpretation, that “sleepy town” is their friendship. Something so happy and peaceful that it could’ve lulled Nacht to sleep. But now, Nacht thinks it’s time to put an end to it. Nacht can’t bring himself to completely separate from Josele though but he will try to increase the distance. For both their sakes.

To write the letter I'd give to you, I thought back on a lot of things And yet, as beautiful as you are, I couldn't write a single word

But why is it that way when it comes to words? Why do they turn to lead-like lies? Why do they turn to aimless birds? Why must they be dirtied?

I’ve mentioned it once before but Nacht does try writing love confessions but he never delivers them. The only reason Josele will get them in the future is thanks to the Bremen devils.  There is so much Nacht wants to say but when he tries to write them, or speak them directly, he finds something wrong with his words. Maybe they sound insincere or shallow. Or maybe it’s the fact that his words are a confession is what’s wrong.

Our selves of today will pass away But just forget I said anything of the sort; There's not one thing I want to say…

Nacht is trying to forget the closeness he had with Josele in the past. And this is him encouraging her to do the same. To distance herself from him. Whatever affection they shared, whatever Nacht showed, Josele should forget about it. Because now, Nacht doesn’t want his love to be known at all. There’s nothing to be said or done about it, except forget it.

Even with my heart beyond help... I walked together with you…

These lyrics are Nacht looking back on their friendship. Even if he saw himself as a tainted soul, he has made Josele a large part of his life. She was beside him even when he wasn’t the best person to be around. He’ll miss that closeness, but did he deserve it in the first place?

I spit out words, I felt your touch, And yet, I could say nothing

But all our love is, is a goodbye…

These final lines fully solidify the message that, now matter how close they are, Nacht fears that an open and honest communication between himself and Josele is impossible. All their shared words. All those intimate touches. It’s for naught. Nacht’s love for Josele never reached her. And he never saw her love for him so it never existed as far as he knows. All that his love has ever been is losing Josele over and over.

Even after Nacht accepted that he couldn’t be with Josele, the heartbreak only fully sets in with “vivi.” This song is him reflecting on his own inability to communicate his feelings to Josele and now, with her and Morgen getting married, he’s trying to erase his feelings. But he can’t let go. He says as much of a goodbye as he can even as his love lingers.

Metronome (music video): The thoughts and feelings expressed in “Metronome” take place soon after Morgen’s death. Nacht has run away to wander alone for a time, coming to terms with what has happened. Through the song, he’s simultaneously looking back on his and Josele’s friendship and considering the future of it.

If it was fated that we would meet from the start, then I wonder why? And I wonder if it was just as fated that a day like this would come?

Always, thoughts that would never come true came to mind, And we hurt each other, and tortured each other... Unable to even make the excuse of "just thinking of you," I didn't even grab your sleeve as you left; I was weak…

For the longest time, Nacht has had two thoughts about the way his relationship with Josele could turn out. One way was the dream of being with her romantically, the “thoughts that would never come true.” The other way was his fear of hurting Josele and that nightmare has become a reality with that awful accusation after Morgen's death. The way Josele “tortured” Nacht was unknowingly breaking his heart by never noticing his affection. Ultimately, Nacht sees himself as useless and pathetic, first never finding the courage to confess and then blaming Morgen’s death on Josele. And now, he can’t bring himself to reach out to her again and try to reconcile already.

Whatever day today is, whatever I try to do, I suppose I'll end up searching for you... My mind still gets thoughts I want to tell you, Not a single one dwindling -

Even as Nacht is keeping his distance from Josele, he’s thinking of her. It’s why he left in the first place, for her sake. While he’s away, he’s trying to figure out what he needs to tell her when he eventually returns. He wants to apologize. To tell the truth to Josele. To make things right.

We must be like two metronomes side by side; Even though the tempo we ran at was the same, At some point, a little bit at a time, we grew out of sync, The more time passed, the further apart we became, And we couldn't stop it...

As kids, Nacht and Josele were incredibly close, going on adventures and going along with each other’s antics. They had their differences but they were less severe. But time passed. The two of them changed and went their separate ways until the present, where Morgen’s death has created a seemingly unmendable rift between them. Now, there's no way they could be the friends they were as kids.

I wonder where we'll be going from now on? Will we be able to forget it all, and live? However happy you are now, I don't want you to forget... In me, there'll always be...

Passing each other by, walking back to back, Gradually going out of sight If we keep living at the same tempo still, Then someday, on the other side of the earth, Might we meet again...?

What will they do with their lives after the tragedy they shared? Where will they go? For now, they are without each other. But Nacht hopes to reunite once he’s figured himself out. He and Josele changed before so they might be able to change again. Though that doesn’t mean they’ll be the same as they were before. At the same time, Nacht resigns himself to never being with Josele the way he truly wants to be. He just wants Josele to be able to be happy again and, even if he was a terrible friend, he hopes she'll remember him as a friend at all. Because he knows she will always be a part of his heart.

Whatever day today is, whatever I try to do, I suppose I'll end up loving you...

I want to you to be there...

Nacht’s love is stubborn. That is the constant that makes him want to do so much, from keeping away from Josele in the immediate aftermath of Morgen’s death to seeing her and apologizing. However, he thinks that Josele shouldn’t and won’t accept those feelings. But long as Nacht can return to Josele, that will be enough for him.

This song expresses feelings of being stuck between a regretted past and a wanted future. That’s where Nacht is, with his past mistakes and an uncertain future on his mind. And while Nacht has lost the two of the most important people in his life, the world as a whole is moving on, everyday life continues. There is hope however. Like how metronomes always manage to sync up with time, Nacht wants the rift between him and Josele to be mended. Too bad he doesn’t know what is waiting for him when he finally does return to Josele.

Paper Flower (song): Yet another melancholy song to add to Nacht’s playlist. This song takes place after Nacht reunites with Josele and sees the state she is in, cursed to be without emotions and having a contract with a devil. It’s yet another tragedy that Nacht blames on himself. “Paper Flower” embodies Nacht’s sorrow, having to see Josele the way she is.

The words won't come out, no matter what I do, At the end, all that remains is a dawdling love...

The first lines of the song summarize how Nacht feels about his own love for Josele. Something that he could never speak of or confess to her, no matter how close they were or how much he might’ve wanted to tell her. His love “dawdles” not only in the sense that it lingers despite having his heart broken but also in the fact that his love feels like a waste.

Climbing on the overpass railing, Sitting and gazing at the moon Inside of a wide cavern, Here alone the world is ending

These lyrics create the image of a quiet and lonely night. I imagine Nacht and Josele together at a balcony or railing, unable to find anything to say to each other. They are together and yet their hearts are far apart. In a way, Nacht’s own world is ending.

Leaving the bedroom, and there's another bedroom, And I saw the back of my own self leaving the room...

Dirtied by the clean air, A garden outside the window with swaying swings…

The lines about the bedroom and seeing one’s own back create the feeling of repetition that comes after a tragedy. And without Josele’s heart and lively spark, her days and what she shares with Nacht now are nothing but dull monotony. The backwards line of “dirtied by clean air” works for Nacht, as Josele’s once pure presence made Nacht feel dirty and is a haunting reminder in the present. The presence of the swings symbolizes loneliness, felt by Nacht even when so close to Josele. And he’s sure that deep down, she is lonely too.

A uproarous comedy in the distance, And the tragedy hidden beneath Humanity all done up with fixatives,

Everything becomes so slow While sleeping amidst all the noise, Here alone the world is ending

Nacht’s life does feel like a comedy, falling in love with a woman who loves his brother instead of him. The laughableness of it overshadows how much it truly broke Nacht’s heart. The line about fixatives—the finishing that keeps paint from smearing for example—reflects Nacht’s belief that he and Josele are forever trapped in a state of being unable to understand each other. And again, the slow, tired feeling of repeating each day after loss appears.

It's not like there's anything I'm trying to say The two of us are more worthless than we imagine May these faded days turn to foam, hallelujah

At this point, Nacht isn’t even trying to confess his love to Josele. That’s not going to do any good. He only wants to be there for her, take care of her in her time of need. At the moment, they’re both in a pathetic state of being; Nacht desperately clinging to the ghost of who Josele used to be and Josele being a shell of a person. Nacht is praying that someday, hopefully, Josele’s curse will break and these sorrowful days will be forgotten.

Memories are vanishing before our eyes In that moment, why were you crying? Walking at the speed flowers fall, A merry-go-round that never stops…

The memories vanishing is quite literal for Josele as her curse also affects her memories while Nacht feels the past grow distant and illusory. And it is curious why Josele, when she’s unable to recognize her emotions, is crying. Nacht would ask but she would be unable to answer. The falling, and likely dying, flower not only shows how life has slowed down but also evokes the image of something beautiful but melancholy. And the merry-go-round is yet another reminder of the monotonous sorrow.

A tower piled high is crumbling; In the end, they were only educational toys Even now, I'm a gloomy designer, Making a bouquet to give to you…

The tower crumbling symbolizes Nacht and Josele’s relationship falling apart. Regarding the tower as a “toy”  The last line is a reference to the title of “Paper Flower.” Given the tone of the song, the image of a bouquet of paper flowers evokes thoughts of something lovely but ultimately a fake, inferior product. And that is what Nacht thinks of himself, and his love, in comparison to Morgen. Nacht is the “gloomy designer” giving Josele an inferior love.

The whole song is melancholy, reflecting a broken beauty. A ruined relationship, seemingly unending sorrow, a useless kind of love. The repeated line of “I looked at you, sleeping in prayer” that appears throughout the song, I imagine as Nacht watching Josele going through life in her cursed state. She’s there but not really. Josele goes about the days listlessly, as if in a trance. It’s something quiet and sorrowful in nature. And the slightly discordant tune adds to the song’s pain, to Nacht’s pain.

Santa Maria (music video): What the title means is Saint Mary, the Mother of Jesus, but even in the song’s own context, I don’t think the song’s speaker is praying to Saint Mary. Rather “Santa Maria” is representative of someone kind to the speaker, a person of refuge. Nacht’s “Santa Maria” is, of course, Josele. Through everything, she is a fragment of the happy life he once had that he holds onto. Through the song’s lyrics, Nacht voices his desire to fight through the hurt in the present to secure a brighter future for Josele.

While our palms are two together, We were separated by a pane of glass This is a visiting room for you and I, And we can never hope to be one, But still we talk…

Both of us feeling like we've been cursed, How many lies will we tell as we walk? Gracefully, with a heavy silence and kindness, My open eyes met with yours, And you laughed slightly…

Nacht and Josele have been reunited but even when they are right in front of each other, there is a distance between them. Josele locked her heart and Nacht is afraid to hurt her further. On being cursed, metaphorically, it’s loneliness and distrust. It’s also literal with Josele’s Locked Heart spell while Nacht has the sin of using Forbidden Magic and Morgen’s death weighing him down. Despite the wall they’ve put around their hearts, they’re all each other have now. And though she is without a heart, Josele’s kindness persists; the laugh isn’t literal but symbolic of Josele’s gentleness, the thing that gives Nacht hope.

Oh, Santa Maria, I won't say a thing; Only if you're satisfied with hesitating words… Oh, let all kinds of happiness be broken; Because weary from prayer, I'll finally meet you…

Let us go together, toward the light… Let us hold hands, with no reason left…

Nacht won’t say anything because what can he say? He can’t confess his love and apologies don’t feel like enough. He’s said enough. The thought of letting “happiness be broken” is Nacht giving up on living free of guilt. It is Nacht’s wish to guide Josele back towards the light, to being her old self. Through it, Nacht might wonder if the reason he’s doing this is because of his love for Josele, or for the sake of everyone else who cares for her, or because it’s the only thing giving his life purpose.

Some day this azure cactus will bloom, And the glass pane will crumble with it Shouldn't we believe? No matter the tomorrow, Let's hope for the day our hands touch, Hope for our curse to be lifted…

If you hadn't been there as of late, I wonder if my sadness and fear would have gone away? I searched the streets on a dark afternoon, For a little knife that could lift our curse, For a song without impurity…

The possibility of the blooming cactus and the shattering of the glass together are symbols of Nacht’s hope of a better future. One where Josele can smile and thrive again. Nacht wants Josele to hope too. Nacht’s troubled heart isn’t going away anytime soon as of when the song happens in the timeline, but Josele’s presence gives him the strength to try so hard for her sake. And the prayer from the chorus and the searching mentioned in this verse are Nacht’s efforts to break Josele’s curse and free her from her devil.

Through whatever days, pasts, futures, or mistakes… Oh, a golden sunrise shines waveringly in your eyes; And like raindrops, the tears fall…

Whenever I see you with those eyes, I'm caught in a mire of sadness…

Through their long history, Nacht wanted to be beside Josele. He wants to continue staying as close as he dares for the foreseeable future, despite the mistakes he’s made that hurt her. As Nacht observes Josele in the present, he can see some of her old self, something shining deep within her. But when he sees that alongside her being an empty shell, it pains him further.

This is a visiting room, and the cactus Is yet to bloom, the pane yet to shatter, But amid this, a single candle Continues to burn bright…

I look at you, And you look at me, So that we won't give up on believing…

Santa Maria, as we bear the darkness, Let us go together, toward the light…

Nacht is reflecting over the fact that he can’t find a way to help Josele. Every source or lead he finds becomes a dead end. He can’t even convince Josele to break the deal with Almatra or remove her own curse. Still, a single candle of hope is burning, for both Nacht and Josele. They turn to and hold onto each other for comfort, hope, anything. The song’s final lines reflect Nacht and Josele’s current state. That even with guilt and curses and devils, they continue to live, moving towards a brighter future.

“Santa Maria” reflects Nacht’s desire to save Josele. Through the pain and suffering, Nacht wants to be there for Josele. She simultaneously causes Nacht grief and gives him strength to move forward. And he is pulling her forward. When I listen to this song, I sometimes imagine Nacht and Josele walking hand-in-hand, with Josele becoming slower and collapsing near the end, but Nacht would pull her up again so they can continue towards a distant light. The song has a sad, heavy feel but is brightened by faint hope in the lyrics, perfectly suited to Nacht and Josele’s relationship.

Sunflower (song): Beneath the strong rock vibes of the song, “Sunflower” is a song about loss and longing. But I also see the song as being about finding the willpower to push forward. This song is Nacht departing for Spade, having to leave Josele but determined to save her.

Filled with sadness, kicking the ground strongly, Leaping up and raising a finger to the light Wanting to love, snarling deep from the windpipe; That sight was just too beautiful...

Clicking your tongue, in the wasteland, resisting the wind Singing all night, with a hoarse newborn's cry To the ends of the frozen planet seen far in the distance, Let your bruise-filled heart sparkle

The kicking of the ground and the clicking of the tongue are signifiers of frustration, something Nacht is feeling in tandem with sadness over Josele’s situation. But despite those emotions, Nacht is rising up, reaching out for even a possibility of a brighter future. There’s his desire to express his care for Josele, held back and painful as indicated by the snarl in the windpipe and hoarse cry, which is a thing of beauty even if Nacht denies it. And the bruised-heart is both Nacht and Josele’s, as they have broken and burdened hearts which should be allowed to shine, to experience happiness.

I was always chasing after that sight of you Tumbling along in a straight line, the stabbing point of a sword The sunflower grown in the shade is still waiting for summer

It really is the case that Nacht has been pursuing Josele in a sense. In the past, he wanted every opportunity to spend time with her and keep her in his life; and in the present, he is seeking to restore her old self. Though he fumbles along the way, Nacht knows his ultimate goal and moves straight towards it. The sunflower is Josele, both are in a place they shouldn’t be in. A sunflower stuck in the shade cannot turn to the sun and Josele with her curse and devil isn’t truly herself.

Getting wounded, electricity suddenly coursing through your veins Scratching off, raging like a storm, an echoing elegy It hasn't died out even a little since the time I listened to it; So don't tremble, not everything'll disappear...

This verse gives a visualization of how painful the struggle is with injuries, pain like lightning, and the dangerous image of a storm. Since he vowed to help Josele, his desire hasn’t wavered at all. The line saying not to tremble could be to himself, reassuring himself that he won’t lose Josele too. Or he could be addressing Josele, telling her that she won’t lose herself. Either way, someone needs to be comforted.

I was always reflected in that sight of you If we'd been born in the same town, could I have been like you? The sunflower grown in the shade is still looking at the sea

This chorus involves reflection and comparison, something that comes up a few times with Nacht’s character in canon. Here, Nacht compares himself to Josele and asks if he could ever be as kind and honest as she was. Josele, still the sunflower, looking out at sea is her also longing for something far out of reach.

Tear through the stuffiness and smile, deep within me, one more time

If you can hear this, shout it fiercely, my name, one more time

These lines from the choruses are what I see as Nacht reaching out to Josele. He encourages her to allow herself to be happy once more. And despite his past sins, he wants her to reach back and rely on him, even if it’s only long enough for him to help her.

Scatter off, burst through the shotguns, to tomorrow Spit it out, take the rudder to the North Star in your hands

A roar, out on a lit-up street, a last-resort game Let loose, diffuse and go out far, reverberate...

These lines are the most powerful in the song. An expression of strength and resolve to break free from despair. The words are a bit volatile, being “scatter” and “roar” and “let loose.” But they are also active, reflecting the need to take responsibility and act with self-determination. These words are Nacht’s words not only to Josele but to himself. They both need to continue living. The North Star—the fixed, guiding point—for Nacht and Josele, their North Star is the possibility of happiness. I know it’s a rather vague concept to fixate on, but that is the end goal Nacht has in mind and what Josele should have too.

“Sunflower” is a song that mixes the aftermath of loss, the building of strength, and voicing hope into one piece of music. It’s complex and layered, much like Nacht’s feelings. There’s still a long way to go for Nacht as he has been unable to fully express his love for Josele with total honesty or confidence. What’s expressed in this song is one of many steps still to go.

Pale Blue (music video): The title of this next song is meant to invoke melancholy with blue but also a hope, as a color in paler hue is considered bright. Plus, Nacht’s eyes are a pale shade of blue; I like little connections like that. As for the song’s timing, it jumps ahead several years to when Nacht finally returns from Spade but before Josele’s curse is broken. The feelings in the song display Nacht’s contradictory push towards and pull away from Josele, his belief that the only way for him to truly love Josele and for her to be happy is for him to let her go.

Always, Always, Always… I loved you so…

Note that all mentions of “love” in the song are “koi” in the original Japanese. Nacht isn’t even trying to hide behind platonic feelings. This is Nacht’s declaration of how much he loved Josele back when she was uncursed, even while she was with Morgen. However, it is a love spoken of in the past tense. Nacht feels like it’s time for his long-lived affection to come to an end.

This is goodbye - You were more important to me than anything It wasn't entirely the end I was hoping for; What about for you?

The love starts with a farewell, with heartbreak, here. Josele was the love of Nacht’s life. But now, he has to bid her farewell, either literally as he left for his mission or emotionally because he thinks it’s better to love her from afar. Josele suffering the way she does with Forbidden Magic and the two of them having drifted apart is not the ending Nacht wants for her. And Nacht asks if Josele is okay with the way things are in the present.

We can't even go back to being friends, So I watched the sky At least at the end, let it be springlike once more, So we can have such a pretty farewell

It's an edelweiss, wilted from never being watered, Earrings starting to blacken This lackluster movie's now reached the end, And yet during the credits, I started to feel sad Tell me, what is this feeling?

Either they can’t or Nacht thinks they shouldn’t be friends again, to spare Josele from being hurt by him again. In the Japanese language of flowers, edelweiss symbolizes courage or power and one source also mentioned that they are associated with precious memories. I see the edelweiss as Josele, withering away (which works thematically given her devil’s attribute is Blight). The edelweiss and blackening (which is to be understood as rusting) earring together also symbolize the crumbling relationship between Nacht and Josele. And despite Nacht feeling like distancing himself is necessary, he is saddened by it and at least wants to end on good terms, hence the “pretty farewell.”

I want to be in the future you saw, too I want to look at you so close our noses touch I want to scream from this splitting pain, and yet - I fell in love with you, Alongside a bouquet

Contradictions abound in Nacht’s feelings for Josele. He wants to share his life with her, to hold her close. Touching noses is just a step behind Josele’s touching foreheads as the strongest sign of affection. But at the same time, he has the urge to scream in frustration over what he feels can’t be. The bouquet mentioned in the lyrics is a stand in for beautiful, happy times. Because of course Nacht fell in love with Josele’s smile and kindness, and all during joyous moments.

The morning of a clear day, You were important in every possible way We exchanged words we had been unable to say, With laughable calmness

It's haute couture with the measurements terribly off, Button holes becoming frayed I just want to close this mismatched play, And yet I couldn't say my lines in the epilogue Hey, I gazed at you…

I think I’ve talked about it enough already but Josele is significant to Nacht’s life. As a friend, first love, and would-be family if she had gotten to marry Morgen. The words he and Josele couldn't exchange are definitely going to be memories of the past, happy times now marked with sadness or detachment. They can talk about them so calmly because of how far away those times were and because Josele genuinely is unable to feel for the past. The mention of haute couture is representative of a relationship as it is a type of fashion that is exclusive, custom-fitted, and made by hand. Just like the fashion, Nacht and Josele’s relationship is something the two of them developed together, only it is now fraying and falling apart. And despite thinking he should, Nacht can’t bring himself to cut Josele from his life, or cut himself from her life.

If there's no point no matter how many times we're reborn, I want to encounter you as if being led somewhere There's not a single thing I want to say after this long, and yet - I fell in love with you, Alongside the pain

The line about reincarnation could be taken literally given the setting but I think it’s better to think of it as expressing the idea that no matter how much the world or the two of them change, the speaker will always love the listener. Nacht wants to love Josele no matter the circumstances. Then, in contrast with the bouquet from earlier, falling in love “alongside the pain” is Nacht loving Josele in their lowest moments. While he believes himself evil and tainted. While Josele is cursed. Because that’s what love is, something grown from happiness and sorrow.

In your arms, in your chest, There's a powerfully pulling gravity I want to be in it mundanely, a pale blue melody

Don't go, stay here, by my side, Not even saying a thing Embrace me until we can never forget

The intimacy of the words here reflect Nacht’s desire to be close to Josele once again. He wants to be embraced and loved by her. He’s drawn to her, regardless of him thinking that he doesn’t deserve to be around her. And so he begs, maybe only in his heart or maybe out loud, for Josele to remain by his side. What Nacht doesn’t want them to forget could be a lot of things: how it feels to embrace one another, how much they care, or maybe he doesn’t want to forget everything between them.

I love you still...

The final line is so powerful in its simplicity. It shows that Nacht really can’t let go of Josele. Even now, when she’s emotionless and Nacht hates that she chose that for herself, he cares for her. He loved her before, continues to in the present, and always will. They’ve spent so much time together, seen the best and worst in each other. There will be no changing that for Nacht and he finally accepts that.

I love the way “Pale Blue” is able to express a broken heart that still harbors an undying adoration. It’s incredibly fitting for the relationship Nacht has with Josele. He’s never stopped loving her despite seeing himself as unworthy of her love, watching her love Morgen instead, and then seeing her become a shell of herself. Nacht says he loved Josele, trying to keep his distance, but ultimately admits that he never stopped. With Nacht’s feelings coming out, things start to improve between him and Josele. And it only gets better from here.

Horse and Deer (music video): First off, I would like to address the title of the song. The kanji for “horse” and “deer” are used in the word “fool” or “idiot” which could imply that the song has to do with something foolish. However, on their own, horses and deers have more positive meanings. Horses are considered noble in Japanese culture while deers represent happiness and harmony in Buddhism. With the animal’s kanji separated, the title actually indicates that the topic of the song is noble and harmonious in nature. Another thing about the song’s title is how it works in relation to Nacht and Josele. Nacht is obviously the horse with Slotos and his Equus form. Meanwhile, I associate Josele with deers as they are creatures associated with grace but can also be quite powerful (the moose is the largest type of deer and they are frighteningly strong) which suits Josele being a tough swordswoman with a gentle heart. And that’s just the title.

With that said, I’m happy to say that with “Horse and Deer,” we finally have a song at a point in Nacht and Josele’s story when their relationship is really mending. This song would take place after Josele is freed from her devil and curse. Josele is finally able to express her love for Nacht and he’s facing his own love for her. However, there are lingering doubts that hold Nacht back from pursuing a romantic relationship.

In a warped and wound-covered spring, I walked, without so much as anesthesia Echoing in the depths of my body, A strong sense I'm not living enough...

Spring is considered the season of life and rebirth and for Nacht, his own world has been reborn with Josele back to normal. But the spring isn’t pure and innocent, instead marked by emotional scars of the past. Despite the pain though, Nacht lets his self-loathing and guilt fester, refusing to allow himself to heal. He’s stuck in the past and thus unable to fully live in the present.

I still taste it, the flavor of chewed-away gum, With a heart that still hasn't fully cooled After losing it all one thing at a time, What finally remains in the end...

Represented by the gum’s lingering flavor but also stated outright, Nacht’s feelings from the past haven’t truly gone away. They have, in a sense, been lying dormant and are ready to be reignited. There is a lot of loss in Nacht’s life: Morgen’s death, the rift in his friendship with Yami, Josele’s curse, and years of self-loathing as he tried to make up for hurting them. Nacht lives with many regrets in life but his heart still cares for those in his life, Josele most of all.

If this thing isn't love, then what would you call it? I didn't have any idea... Call out the name of a flower, just a single one, To the point of bursting open...

I think Nacht would question his love for Josele. He would ask himself if what he feels for Josele is instead a sense of obligation to her to make up for causing Morgen’s death or if his devotion has become a desperate obsession. In the end, he will figure out that, yes, his feelings are genuine love. The way I see it, the “flower” could be a number of things. It could be Nacht telling himself to openly proclaim his feelings of love. Or it’s him calling out to Josele. I even see it as Nacht asking Josele to call out to him. Either way, someone is calling out with repetition because of how strong the feelings in their heart are.

What do you say with those weary eyes? I walked, hiding my scars And yet I scattered my shadow around, Hoping to be noticed...

The first line is Nacht addressing Josele, trying to get a read on what she’s thinking. I think the reason why the eyes are described as tired is because of being world-weary or from previously crying, either working for Josele who has been through so much. The next few lines express Nacht’s loneliness, his self-inflicted isolation from Josele and anyone else. He takes on guilt and keeps his pain to himself because he sees himself as undeserving of love. But still, he tries to be present in Josele’s life, wanting to express his love. Also, scattering the shadow just works with Nacht and his magic.

Can you still walk? I chew down and taste sand, On grass damp with evening dew Questioning words within an impatient chest Surely it's still too soon for this to end…

After so much struggle, Nacht asks if he and Josele can still continue towards the future. The taste of sand is frustration when they’ve stumbled along the way. But the mention of dew implies that the pain can be washed away, not entirely but at least in part. Nacht has his doubts about whether he deserves Josele but then he thinks to himself that maybe it’s time to not give in to hopeless thoughts and actually try.

Smiling so that no one would be made sad - I was never able to do that well… If I were just able to protect one thing, one single thing, That would have been enough…

My all too worthless wish, it won't vanish My soul is one no one can steal…

I interpret the smile as showing kindness, which Nacht has never been good at. But he still has a heart and he wants only safety and happiness for Josele after so many years of suffering. If he could make up for the way he hurt her, that’d be enough. His desire might mean nothing coming from a tainted man like himself, but he wants to do things right by the woman he loves. No one is going to stop him, not even himself now.

To what should I compare you and me? How to describe the similar wounds on our heels? After the gap in the rain closes, it continues on; Let's go, before the flowers even bloom…

Though still fearful, call out the name of a flower; Say "it can only be you"…

Nacht is trying to find some way to describe his relationship with Josele, how they’ve both been emotionally scarred by the same event. The only word that would come to mind is “tragedy.” The mention of rain and flowers about to bloom brings back the image of spring from the beginning, so I read the lines as Nacht reaching out to Josele so they can head into spring, the reborn world, together. Though Nacht is afraid to love Josele, he calls out to her or asks her to call out to him. And for him, he can only love Josele.

The tips of our noses touch, my breath stops And I'm fine with the pain never going away

My all too worthless wish, it won't vanish… I won't stop...

As I said with the previous song, touching noses is just a step behind touching foreheads which Josele does to show affection. I imagine this line in the song as Josele going in to touch foreheads with Nacht. He’s simultaneously caught off guard by the gesture and enamored by it that he forgets to breathe. And that second line is Nacht believing he will never truly be forgiven. But where earlier in the song, he accepted eternal pain because of self loathing, at the song’s end, Nacht would be fine with the pain because Josele is there to comfort him. The final lines show Nacht’s determination to move on. He still has a way to go but he’s not holding himself, his love, back any longer.

There is so much in this song that I love. The feeling of determination despite enduring pain. Having doubts in oneself but still wanting to do right by others. The image of facing what is to come alongside someone you love. Being unsure of that love but wanting to believe in it. It hits me right in the feels. It’s beauty born from tragedy which suits Nacht’s love for Josele.

Nighthawks (song): The penultimate song. Before we get into the lyrics of the song, I want to talk about the song’s title (again). Nighthawks are literally a type of nocturnal bird but the word can also be used as a synonym for “night owl,” someone who is typically active late at night. Given some of the lines in the song, the latter understanding is likely the intended one. Either way, it suits Nacht, literally named for the night. And finally, at long last, Nacht and Josele are actually together in this song. Nacht is letting reality sink in and he’s considering the future. He still has fears and doubts but now he is certain that he wants to be by Josele’s side, come what may.

That day, staring at a spiral filament instead of sleeping

If just like this, tomorrow doesn't come, then what will I do? If morning came and it were all over, where would I go?

I've searched for a night I could consider perfect Now, I just want to see the stars, with you beside me...

Nacht is being kept up by his thoughts, wondering about the future. He and Josele have confessed their love and gotten together but he worries that it won’t last, that he won’t be able to hold onto Josele for long. Nacht is haunted by the thought that fate won’t let him find happiness. In spite of his worries, or perhaps because of them, he’s given up on pursuing “perfection” and just wants to enjoy life side-by-side with Josele. And since I headcanon stargazing as one of Nacht’s favorite activities, the mention of it in the lyrics is suitable.

If there were only one thing left that these empty hands could grab, I think I'd want it to be your outstretched hand If it were too clean, it'd be terrifying, so I'd like it to be a little dirty Ahh, that's all I'd need; that's our future I wish for...

Nacht has trouble protecting and remaining close with those he cares about and so he wishes to at least hold Josele. Her hand being outstretched is important because it shows how she reciprocates his love; it’s not him just hopelessly chasing. The fear of it being “too clean” comes from Nacht viewing himself as tainted by his sins but he’d be comforted when Josele reminds him that she’s used Forbidden Magic too, so she’s not entirely as pure as he once saw her as. That’s all Nacht is wanting at the moment, Josele’s love and assurance that she’ll be with him.

That day, in a dream, I was living on a fictional street I was convinced it really existed, and looked for it on a map But only thoughts I can't express very well remained in my chest Loneliness welled up to my throat; I'm looking for the words

Things that are far apart end up looking more beautiful, So before they become just memories, I want to tell you everything...

The street within the dream is an idealized life that Nacht wishes he could’ve lived with Josele. A road to happiness without pain or tragedy. But it could never be reality. Instead, Nacht is stuck with words he’d been unable to say back then and still struggles to convey in the present which pains him. Those distant, beautiful things in Nacht’s life include Josele and his memories of the past. In the past, despite them growing apart, Nacht just kept loving Josele more and more. And as time has moved on, his actions from before are becoming only memories. He won’t let them be forgotten though; Nacht intends to give Josele the full truth because she deserves to know. The past won’t just be memories but motivation for making the future even brighter. In a way, time has made Nacht’s memories more beautiful and painful simultaneously.

If it's an aimless future, I don't need it, I closed my eyes and shouted; Behind it was the future I sought with you, where we rolled around together Even if it's a worthless world, I like this world you say is so lovable Ahh, that's all I need; that's why I want you to know…

Before, Nacht would’ve been okay with dying as repentance for the wrong he’s done but he’s no longer resigned himself to a non-future like that. Nacht wants a future of certainty, of making the most of it, with Josele. And that “world” Josele loves is the world overall as well as the Black Bulls specifically, because we know Nacht’s early opinions of the Bulls. If Josele loves the Bulls so dearly, then he can grow to like them too.

Nostalgic music runs around in my head; It sounded to my ears like it was saying "you're okay" It won't be over for us - irregular as we are, we can keep living Beyond that curve, toward that clapping…

The music could be literal, a song that Nacht and Josele enjoyed listening to in their youths. Or it could be Josele recollecting something that Nacht thinks she wouldn’t remember fondly. In either scenario, Nacht is remembering the past in a way that isn’t hurtful. And so, even though they’ve been broken, Nacht wants himself and Josele to live as happily as they can.

I'd want to spend my time smiling; I'll go to meet you…

Most of the lyrics at the song’s beginning are repeated here at the end, as though Nacht’s thoughts are circling and repeating in his mind. However, the very final line is different. Instead of wondering where he might end up, Nacht determines that he’s going to be with Josele no matter what. That their futures are going to be intertwined.

I love how “Nighthawks” conveys thinking about the future. It’s about building off the past and present, having fears and hopes simultaneously. It’s fitting for Nacht who spent so much time acting because of past guilt to instead look to the future with hope. His love for Josele makes it easier but it’s something he does on his own. While the tune isn’t conventional for a love song, it’s filled with an energy that screams to me “adoration and devotion” and the lyrics add to it by sounding extremely romantic. And an unconventional love song is something suitable for someone like Nacht.

Blue Jasmine (guitar cover): Oh boy do I have feelings about “Blue Jasmine.” It’s one of the songs from this whole series that makes me cry the most. This is a love song, plain and simple. It’s not a love weighed down by sorrow as it had been in many previous songs. Although it’s not perfectly ideal, Nacht and Josele have reached a happy ending. And since I headcanon that Nacht plays guitar, I imagine him actually strumming the chords and singing his heart to Josele. Makes it all the sweeter to me.

Every time I hear your recollections, I feel it strongly: That I'm living that past to the fullest, leaving nothing behind

It took them a while, and it’ll be an ongoing process still, but Nacht and Josele are healing from the past. Nacht is listening to Josele reminisce and, instead of shame, he accepts it and feels content with it. Their history, the good and bad, has made them who they are today. While things aren’t the same, the joy they knew back then has returned to their lives and Nacht is now free to love Josele the way he had always wished. The past is far gone but Nacht will carry the feelings from back then into the future.

Even at an offer of jasmine tea, you made a face on the verge of tears, And though bewildered, you tasted it; I know you well...

The jasmine tea is symbolic of any act of love Nacht would show Josele. She might be feeling sad and when Nacht comforts her, she’ll be overwhelmed and end up crying. It could also be that the tears are a result from Josele being touched by Nacht’s shows of affection. Whether it be in times of happiness or sorrow, Josele accepts all of Nacht and his love. This is something that Nacht has finally learned and it comforts him.

I couldn't live well enough to skillfully choose from many paths, But my heart and body remember; if I'm with you, I can live...

Nacht made mistakes in the past. He chose a path of darkness before taking a more righteous one. He will regret it forever but he can’t let it keep him from truly living. Being with Josele, having given his heart and earned her heart in return, gives him assurance. Josele is his comfort and strength if he ever needs a reminder that it’s okay for him to live.

Now, where should we go? Listen, darling, wherever it may be, I'm sure that just having you beside me will make it special... With a kiss and a laugh, let's live like we're playing a prank We've found something that won't go away, even if we lose it all...

Nacht is asking Josele what she wants to do with their lives now. What kind of life does she want to lead with him? Whatever they do, wherever they go, Nacht will be happy with it simply because he and Josele are able to do it together. The next line conveys the desire to live while openly expressing their affection and with a sense of youthful mischief and fun. Nacht and Josele deserve to live with their hearts light, he realizes that now. Especially considering how much they’ve been through before. Now that the two of them have found love in each other, even if life isn’t perfect from that point onward and they are to lose things along the way, they’ll always have each other.

Hidden like stars in the daytime, even if we can't see it now, Happiness has been everywhere around us, tumbling along the ground

Despite their love for each other always being present, neither Nacht nor Josele was able to see it, for various reasons. It was always there, it just took time and the right conditions to see it clearly. Not only that but it was never a far away thing, the way Nacht thought it was. It had always been so close to him in reality.

I look at the flowing eyelashes on your sleeping eyes, And it occurs to me that our days to come will be happy...

Of course Nacht would admire Josele as she sleeps. She’s beautiful and at peace. It would amaze him how Josele was able to easily return to her old ways after her curse was broken, considering how long the curse lasted and why she cursed herself in the first place. After so much pain, the little things mean so much. It’s mundane joys like that which he hopes to appreciate for the rest of his days.

I can't open my heart enough to get along well with anyone, But for you, I've prepared things that I feel I can only say to you...

Opening up and speaking honestly was never Nacht’s strong suit, which he will readily admit. And he finds a lot of people disagreeable. But he’s trying to change his ways. Nacht wants to be perfectly transparent with her, since he knows how much pain was caused by keeping things secret. And because Josele already knows Nacht so well, has seen him at his best and worst, he would feel safe saying things to her that he wouldn’t share with another soul.

Unable to avoid feeling lonely, and unable to hide even that, I still remember that night when I wanted to hear your voice I suppose we'll repeat those same nights many times to come, And each time, I'll confirm that I love you...

Even if they’re living happily, there will come days when Nacht can’t escape his guilt. It would be something he can’t hide, whether or not he wants to. He’ll remember the days when they were estranged after Morgen’s death or when Josele was cursed, those painful times when he missed Josele the most. But in remembering those times, it will make the happy life Nacht has with Josele feel even more wonderful, more real as he can just reach out and hold her for comfort. Each time Nacht feels unsure of his love for Josele or hers for him, he’ll let her know how much he cares. And he’ll do it more times than that. Really, Nacht could never grow tired of telling Josele he loves her.

That smile you wore as you happily drank the tea I offered - I hope it never changes tomorrow, or the day after, or ever after...

The image of drinking tea with a smile, a mundane activity in a peacefully content life. But like I said earlier, tea is symbolic of an act of love in general. Josele would definitely smile in appreciation at what Nacht does for her. Nacht wants to provide Josele with happiness forever. And that smile he loves so dearly, since the day they met, he wants Josele to never lose it ever again.

And I'll always confirm that I love you...

The first version of the chorus repeats before the song ends with the line of always confirming one’s love conveys Nacht’s thoughts of always loving Josele no matter the circumstance and being ready to tell her that. She is the love of his life, what makes his life feel special, and he’ll repeat it to her until he dies.

There is so much I love about this song. How this song sounds like something that could be serenaded to someone else. The fact that there are traces of negative feelings but they’re overpowered by the pure love and devotion expressed throughout the rest of the song. The tune is simple and the lyrics are straightforward and easily understood. All those factors match up with Nacht. Now that they’ve settled down, Nacht wants to love Josele in simple ways and make his feelings for her clear. Nacht and Josele’s story is complicated and imperfect, but they’ve found love in the end and that’s what matters. To me, “Blue Jasmine” is the perfect song to summarize Nacht’s love for Josele and the perfect ending for them.

..........

I want to start my closing statement for this whole series by showing the breakdown of where all these songs came from.

Kenshi Yonezu has released five albums under his real name. Those albums are:

-diorama: a concept album about a desert town on the back of a catfish which is later flooded by rain and seemingly abandoned. A consistent theme throughout the songs is that everyone in the town is not living their best life. -YANKEE: an album that has a running theme of "curses" as stated in interviews with Yonezu. -Bremen: an album inspired by the fairy tale of "Town Musicians of Bremen" and with contrasting songs that interact like light and dark (Yonezu's example is "Metronome" being a goodbye while "Blue Jasmine" is a frank love song). -BOOTLEG: an album that seems to have a theme of "connectedness." Yonezu has also commented that many of the songs are him playing with the concepts of originality and homage (as several are songs written for other media or are inspired by other music genres). -STRAY SHEEP: an album with the motif of a crystal, the idea being that of damaged things still being beautiful as gems are cut (thus damaged) when used by humans.

Some of the songs come from Yonezu's singles. One song was released outside of an album and single. Now to see which songs in each ship playlist came from where.

Faustsele

Eine Kleine (YANKEE album) Flowerwall (Bremen album) Orion (Bootleg album) Spring Thunder (Bootleg album) Sight for Sore Eyes (YANKEE album) Lemon (STRAY SHEEP album) Donut Hole (YANKEE album) Melancholy Kitchen (YANKEE album) Love (exclusive release with Yonezu’s book “Monster Encyclopedia”) WOODEN DOLL (YANKEE album) 5 - Yankee, 1 - Bremen, 2 - Bootleg, 1 - Stray Sheep, 1 - non-album exclusive

Remember how the motif of the YANKEE album was "curses." Not my intention but I find it interesting how Josele, who is literally cursed, takes most of her songs from an album centered on that theme.

Morgsele

Jade Wolf (“orion” single) PLACEBO (STRAY SHEEP album) Canary (STRAY SHEEP album) Fireworks (Bootleg album) Night Bugs on a Rainy Street (Bremen album) Spot the Difference (STRAY SHEEP album) Monster's March (Bootleg album) Spirit of the Sea (STRAY SHEEP album) 1 - Bremen, 2 - Bootleg, 4 - Stray Sheep, 1 - non-album exclusive

Morgen's songs mostly coming from STRAY SHEEP is fitting as he is the black sheep of the family, strayed from their devil practices. He's also like a gem, hurt by his family's secret but still able to shine brilliantly.

Nacsele

Headless Cuckoo (diorama album) Cinderella Gray (Bremen album) Love and Fever (diorama album) Mirage Song (Bremem album) Vivi (diorama album) Metronome (Bremen album) Paper Flower (“Lemon” single) Santa Maria (YANKEE album) Sunflower (STRAY SHEEP album) Pale Blue (“Pale Blue” single) Horse and Deer (STRAY SHEEP album) Nighthawks (Bootleg album) Blue Jasmine (Bremen album) 3 - diorama, 1 - Yankee, 4 - Bremen, 1 - Bootleg, 2 - Stray Sheep, 2 - non-album exclusives

It's appropriate that Nacht is the only one to have songs from “diorama” since those songs are about people being miserable and Nacht is just... really sad. In the end, he has one more song from Bremen, which is an amazing coincidence given his devils' inspiration.

And here is the final percentage breakdown of how many songs came from each source.

By one song, STRAY SHEEP has the biggest presence with Bremen and YANKEE tied for second.

With that now done, let me share my final closing thoughts...

I'll admit that some of the song connections stretch a little. Not every word fits but that'd be impossible to get as the songs weren't written for my ships in mind.

And I know it looks like Nacsele is favored above Morgsele in the amount of songs, but Yonezu has a lot more songs which address feelings of loss, sadness, frustration which lends better to Nacht's perspective. I could definitely expand Morgen's playlist by looking at songs beyond Yonezu's work but who knows when that might happen.

I really love Kenshi Yonezu's work. I was listening to his songs on loop long before I ever found the translations of the songs and was able to connect them to my ships. And now that I've made those connections, I love Yonezu's work and my ships even more.

Nacht and Morgen are my favorite characters in Black Clover. Not just because they're handsome. What I really love about them is their themes, together and apart. Morgen is a character about kindness for the sake of itself and how a good person can inspire others (what Morgen did for Yami). Nacht's story is about redemption, forgiveness towards oneself, and the importance of honest communication (something he lacked with both Morgen and Yami). And together, they tell a story about unconditional love (despite their differences, they were family who loved each other) and what it means to be good, whether it is something innate and can't be sullied or something that can be learned after mistakes are made.

Josele is an oc of mine who I've put so much time and love into. She's one of a few ocs who I really put through the wringer before putting her on the path to healing and a happy ending. Her character and journey is about the importance of emotions (obviously) and connections to other people. Cutting herself off from others is what led to her curse and it's by making connections with the Black Bulls that she's able to be herself again. I want to explore how she interacts with the Bulls in the future because most of the content about Josele is also in relation to the Fausts. But as this project shows, they're kind of a major factor in her life. Josele is probably my best and favorite oc because there's just a lot going on with her.

When it comes to Yonezu's work, I'd definitely call it my comfort music. Despite so many of the songs having melancholy or dark themes, others have loving and hopeful themes. I listen to Yonezu's music and I'm reminded that other people have feelings of being insufficient or disconnected from the rest of the world but also that connections exist and there are things of beauty. Even though I've heard them so many times, I still tear up at some of them. Because the emotions expressed and the stories told touch my heart. And they've become even more special to me now that I've been able to connect them with something in my fandom experience.

Working on this project has been kind of a journey for me. At first, I was content just knowing for myself how these songs suited my ships. I think a part of me was also a little defensive, too. Like, I was afraid that if I talked about Yonezu's music on my blog, then the safety/comfort I got from the songs would be diminished. I felt as if others knowing about Yonezu's work would mean they were taking it away from me. I quickly realized I was being stupid, but I didn't think I could pull off a project of this size. Thankfully, with some encouragement from a friend, I went through with making this project. To just ramble about why these songs suit my ships. To let people know about an artist that I love so much. Sometimes I hit writer's block, unable to put my thoughts on the screen, or I just didn't have the energy to form coherent thoughts. I kind of think my thoughts as I've written them still aren't perfectly comprehensive and there's a lot of repetition but that's how it turned out.

Ultimately, this is my comfort music and my comfort ships brought together by my passion for both. I'll probably never do a big project like this ever again because... I just get that feeling.

If you read the series (as a whole or just part of it), thank you for your time. If you didn't, then I'm wondering why you're reading this post.

Anyways, thank you for your time and for indulging my brain rot.

#black clover #nacht faust #morgen faust #black clover oc #josele canty #the music of faustsele #faustsele #morgsele #nacsele #soda's ocs #soda asides #kenshi yonezu #long post #holy shoot is this post long... #it's like a college thesis but it's just me talking about my ships #from this point onward these songs are exclusively for my ships #I refuse to see them used in any other context/lh+j

[tropes-and-tales]

Not Real Just Yet

Day 14:  Breeding Kink (Bob Floyd x F!Reader)

(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!) 

CW:  Breeding kink; the appearance of dub-con but with clear consent discussed; smut (PiV, unprotected); 18+ only. Again, this is a breeding KINK with an element of dub-con (but consensual), so if that isn't your thing, pass on this one.

Word Count:  1513

AN:  This was requested by an anonymous person! It was also not edited in any way!

It’s not real. 

It’s not real just yet because Bob is active duty, often deployed for long stretches.

It’s not real just yet because you’re in a PhD program that requires long, long hours:  as you TA for undergrad classes, as you pore over old archived papers buried in colleges across the U.S., as you spend late nights on your thesis.

It’s not real just yet because you and Bob are sometimes just ships passing in the night, and you both hate it, but you’re both committed to each other and see this current pain as paying off in the near future.

It’s not real just yet because Bob, modern though he is, has old-fashioned ideas.  He wants to put a ring on your finger first, wants to carry you over the threshold of a shared home, wants to settle into a nice stretch of married life as a couple before adding to your family.

It’s not real just yet.  It’s just a fun way of playing around in the bedroom, and it’s more about the power dynamics of the breeding kink.  You have an implant, so the risk is minimal, but it’s still fun to pretend.

Bob, the back seater who often feels powerless:  he gets to take the dominant role. 

You, the harried student who often feels like there’s too much piled on your shoulders:  you get to take the submissive role.

-----

It’s not real just yet, but it sure as hell feels real.  Bob is finally home from a tour around the South Pacific, and you’ve finally turned in pages to your thesis advisor.  You each have the luxury of time, for once, and you turn your respective life frustrations on each other in the best possible way.

It’s easy to forget it’s not real when Bob slides inside you, the wet silky heat of your pussy and not a single barrier to stop him from feeling every sensation.  The delicious slickness of your arousal, the molten warmth, the way you bear down when he’s buried in you and whispers in your ear.  He whispers the filthiest things he’s ever said in bed with anyone, and sometimes he’s embarrassed in the morning when he remembers it, but the embarrassment never lingers—because he loves you, because he feels safe to explore this side of himself with you.

I’m gonna breed you, sweetheart.

Just take it.  Good girl, take it.

Gonna look so good, full of my baby.

Gonna make you a mommy. 

Take all of it.

Taking me so good.  Can’t wait to see your belly all round with our baby.

Just lie back and take it like a good girl.

He fucks you slowly, deep, purposeful thrusts that he punctuates with his dirty talk.  He knows it’s not real, but it’s so easy to fall into the fantasy, especially when you whimper at his words, when you cling to his shoulders and whine out your answering script.

Wait, Bobby…wait…

Maybe we shouldn’t…

It’s all a game, of course.  It toes the line of dubious consent but Bob knows it’s all consensual because you never utter the safe word and neither does he.  And sometimes he thinks maybe it’s sick, maybe it’s twisted, and maybe no one else would understand it, but when he voices those concerns to you, you always allay them.  You always cup his face and tell him that what the two of you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business and no one else’s.

“Besides,” you told him once.  “You have no idea what your pals in Top Gun are into when it comes to kinks.  I bet Bagman is a foot fetish weirdo.”

So he pushes those doubts aside because fuck if it isn’t the hottest thing he’s done, exploring all the weird and surprising twists within his own sexuality and yours.

Your first orgasm is always the strongest—maybe because you pretend to fight it, pretend you don’t want this.  Bob notices all of your little tells:  the way your fingertips dig into the blades of his shoulders until he knows he’ll have dusty little bruises there in the morning.  The way your arousal absolutely soaks his pistoning cock, soaks the thatch of rough curls at the base of him.  The way you whine out no, please, as if your body is betraying you, and isn’t that part of the fantasy too:  that he fucks you so well that you can’t fight off the orgasm he works from you?

“Good girl,” he whispers against your temple.  “Good girl, coming for me.”  He slows his thrusting, savors the spasms of your aftershocks, allows you to recover. 

“Please Bobby,” you breathe out.  “It’s too risky—”

He closes his eyes and kisses your temple, feels the sweat making your hair damp.  “You think too much,” he murmurs.  He shifts his head, nips at your earlobe before he whispers in your ear, “just take it like a good girl.”

“Bobby—”

“You’re going to look so fucking hot, swollen with my baby.”  He says that staring into your eyes, which are wide in mock-fear, part of the game, but he can see how wide your pupils are too, your eyes damned near black, and it’s a reassuring reminder that yes, you are into this game too, you’re enjoying it as much as him.  And sure enough, there’s the answering clench in your pussy, the way you unconsciously bear down on him as he starts to resume his slow, firm rhythm of fucking you.

And now that you’ve come once, he takes it up a notch, ratchets the moment higher.  He gets an arm under your knee and hoists your leg up and out, spreads you out more for him to bury himself in you.  It grants him that extra bit of depth into your pussy, and each time he hilts his cock in you, it draws out a low groan from you, a throaty growl that makes the coil of tension in his gut tighten.

Here is usually where the game falters just a bit.  Bob’s never had this with any other girlfriend before; sex was always a fraught, anxious thing for him.  He always worried about his performance in bed.  Most of his girlfriends before you usually laid in bed like a starfish, limp and unresponsive, and it took Bob a long time to realize that it was them, not him, that was the problem.

But sex with you is always good.  Sometimes fun and playful, sometimes intimate and soulful.  Sometimes, like now, it’s both of you working through your own personal demons—him and his feelings of inadequacy, you and your feelings of overwhelm—but doing it together.  Exploring shadowy sides of yourselves in a perfectly safe, perfectly loving way.

How could he not want to put that ring on your finger, carry you over that threshold?  Bob could travel the world for the rest of his life and never find anyone half as suited to him as you.

And now, your second orgasm approaches.  Now your hands shift from clutching at his shoulders.  Your palms lay flat on his chest and you push lightly against him, the climax of your game timed to the climax you’ll share with him.

“Bobby, please,” you pant out.  “It’s not s-safe.  Pull…pull out—”

But he doesn’t because it’s part of the game, and a beat later, when you arch underneath him, when your eyes flutter shut and you wail out his name, he pushes into you and stills.  He feels his own tension snap, and he comes with a pained fuck, baby, take it, and it’s absolutely perfect:  the way your pussy ripples against his cock, how it pulls the thick ropes of his cum deeper into the confines of your body.

Here is where the game falls apart.  Or, rather, it ends.  Sex is a release for both of you, but since you are generally more stressed and wound-up than Bob, you have the habit of giggling directly afterwards.  Which might make a lesser man wither, but the tic charms Bob, and now he chuckles along with you.

“Oof,” you breathe out once the laughing passes.  You wrap an arm around his neck and pull him down to you.  “That was great.”

Bob is still half hard, so he shifts his weight carefully to avoid slipping out of you.  He leans his weight on one forearm and gazes down at you with a smile.  He brushes gentle kisses across your warm face.  “I missed you.”

You smile up at him.  “I missed you too.  I’m glad you’re home.”

Home.  Right now, it’s just a crummy little apartment near campus, but as Bob settles closer to you, he can already picture the future with you:  a better apartment or maybe even a house somewhere.  You with your PhD, him with his military career.  Each of you with rings on your fingers, vows made and received, maybe a dog adopted from a shelter.

And maybe, after that, you can play at your mutual kink for real.

#bob floyd #bob floyd imagine #bob floyd x reader #robert floyd #robert floyd imagine #robert floyd x reader #top gun maverick #kinktober 2023 #tropes and tales

[asterrrific]

Sunsets and Class Rings

-Mingyu x Reader

-fluff fluff fluff (and some angst?)

-warnings up for some profanity

Scenario: Y/N just "graduated" from her short term for the last academic year in the university when she went to her daily routine of going to the beach at sunset to read her book. Studying to become a teacher is hard, but for her love of literature, she applied for a short term to pick up a few electives.

Mingyu on the other hand, like y/n, is finally on his last year in the academy as a Maritime student. In a few days, he'll be boarding a ship to fulfill his duties as a cadet before graduation. He came home before leaving the ground and living on the ocean aboard a boat for a year, when he saw y/n again for the 10th time this week.

This time, he had to courage do what he should have done years ago.

Y/N's pov

It's been years since the last time I saw Mingyu. We were in our senior year then... a few weeks after graduation. We stayed at school during summer, finilazing our thesis as a class, then after that, we went our separate ways for College.

Mingyu and I aren't THAT close during senior year, but we were friendly. We knew each other since 6th grade, since we both joined radio broadcasting contests back then. I was a scriptwriter and reporter while he was a DJ.

Funny because I used to have a crush on him during those days too. Then when we met again during highschool as classmates, I thought I saw a spark between us... a "could have been something." But I guess it was just me.

Could you blame me though? He gave me chocolates and a blue teddy bear for Valentine's. OUT OF NOWHERE.

He even gave me a golden retriever pup for my 18th. "My noona was friends with your hyung back in highschool and they told me to give you one of Lana's pups for your birthday." he explained. But when I went to thank his sister, she said she and my older brother had nothing to do with it and it was all Mingyu's decision.

But WE never happened.

I mustered the courage to ask him about us... about what exactly did WE have... but he said we were just friends. I would be lying if I say it didn't hurt... it did. Because I hoped for something...

Though amidst that, I'm grateful that even if we didn't end up the way I wanted to, we still ended up being good friends. At least we still had each other in our lives.

It's been so long, but sometimes, I find myself relapsing everytime his dad and sister posts pictures of them. He wasn't loud on social media, but his family sure is. That's how I still felt connected to his life somehow even if we barely talk on the phone.

That's why I was shocked shitless when he tapped me on the shoulder, called me by my surname like he used to, and gave me a hug while I was reading by the beach a few minutes ago.

"What the- Gyu? Mingyu!" I exclaimed in realization as I tried to give him a fistbump like old times. He quickly grabbed my hand though, spinned me towards him, and draped an arm around me. Only after that, he whispered.

"Hey love, long time no see, but right now, I need you to stay calm, alright? I'm gonna be stirring you away from your reading spot. From here on out, just follow me and try to act natural."

Now I'm SCARED shitless.

But I just did what I'm told, though my conscience was screaming at me at the realization that this man just called me LOVE.

"I told you I could've just picked you up. You didn't have to take a taxi here, love." He said, obnoxiously loud, for whatever reason, I could only wonder.

"I didn't wanna bother you. You said you were busy with some stuff. Besides, I'm perfectly fine being here first." I smiled at him while the braincells in my skull wrecked havoc in my overthinking mind.

He grinned at me, his eyes and nose crinkling together as he nuzzled my hair. I flinched, though praying he wouldn't notice for whatever stage he's trying to play right now.

"Hmm. No you're not," he whispered while still awfully, physically close to me that my heart hammered on my chest. "There are a bunch of guys a few meters behind you and they're DEFINITELY interested."

I leaned away from him as I looked him in the eyes. I was about to turn to the direction he mentioned but he pulled me to the sand, pretending to help gather my chair and other stuff.

"Y/N, I'm a guy, and I know what guys look like when they're interested at someone. And those guys look like trouble. They're drunk." he explained as he finished gathering all my stuff in his arms, leaving me with just my book.

"Let's go?" he asked cheerily, shifting my load to one arm and offering me his other arm to hold on to.

I linked my arm with his and dared to look behind me. Sure enough, the guys behind me were throwing daggers at Mingyu's back. He whipped around and grinned slyly at them, pulling me even closer to him.

It's been 3 years since we graduated highschool. We're seniors in our own colleges now, and somehow, dead butterflies started to flutter inside my ribcage again as I let myself be pulled away by Kim Mingyu.

---

Mingyu's pov

I was a nutless jerk for telling her we were just friends all those years ago, even if I know within my heart that I wanted to be more than that with her, even to this day.

My heart and mind has been restless ever since we all parted ways. But when I saw her at the beach today, like the past few days, it was like my whole being came back to life.

Her hair flowed with the wind, though it's shorter now than the last time I saw her. Her skin glowed golden as the setting sun kissed her.

Damn, I still like her lots.

Maybe that's why when I noticed the bunch of guys having drinks just a few meters behind her, my protective instinct kicked in.

I mustered all my courage and recalled all the extra self defense training I learned at the academy as I tried to confidently stroll towards her like I do it everyday.

I swear, she almost hit me with her damn book when I hugged her from behind. If she ever landed it on me, I wouldn't regret it.

She beamed in recognition when we locked eyes after that, and I soared up to cloud 9 when I heard her say the nickname she called me with.

"Gyu!" she screamed. Her voice harmonizing with the element that I'll soon be calling home.

I explained the situation to her and was currently looking for a new spot to take her to as a comfortable silence sat between us.

It's a relief that I decided to go out today before I get on the ship for my internship before graduation. If I didn't, I wouldn't have seen her again.

My senses triggered again when I recalled what the guys behind her looked like. Hungry dogs ready to pounce, just looking for a chance.

I remembered back in highschool when she was stuck with something similar. We were on a bus on the way home from school, when I noticed the guys behind her were taking pictures of her and whispering nasty shit about making a move.

When a passenger got down, I called her over to sit next to me. She was shaking so bad from the experience and fear that I let myself hold her. I even let myself pass my house so I could see her go home safe that day, then I waited for the next bus to go back the other way to go home.

That was the day I knew I was really inlove, but didn't want to admit it.

"Gyu, here looks nice." she suddenly says, pulling me from my thoughts. We reached a place on the beach where there's more people on either side, but at least this one's a safer crowd.

I helped her set up her picnic mat and chair, then stood awkwardly beside her after.

"Well sit down on the mat, you silly goose." She chuckeled. I gladly obliged.

"Thanks for saving my butt there." she started after a few moments of silence. Her book was back in her bag, and I realized she didn't want to read for a while anymore, but to talk.

I followed her gaze towards the open water. Hearing the waves made me feel calm and excited but now, also nervous.

Maybe I shouldn't have met y/n today. She could be the reason why I won't be able to board the ship in three days time.

"Nah, it's nothing. I gotchu always." I teased. She nudged me.

"It's been so long. How are you? Are you about to board soon?" She sighs as she curiously looked at me.

Of course, she'll ask that question.

"In three days. I came home last week to process a few documents and my passport. I'm going back to the city the day after tomorrow." I explain, letting my eyes wander towards the waves again.

My heart ached. It was like I'm anchored to her again but I couldn't bring myself to admit it out loud.

What if I tell her about my feelings now? Would it be too sudden? I don't want anything holding me back from my internship, especially if it's y/n... I wouldn't be able to handle it.

But would I be able to handle a confrontation if I confess out of the blue? After years of not seeing each other?

"Wow. Then, I'm glad you're still able to go out to distress." She smiled. Her smile warmed me more than the setting sun did, and still, I involuntarily shivered. I hope she didn't notice.

"Well... I've been coming here these past days every sunset..." I admitted.

"...and everyday, I lingered just a few steps behind you, afraid I'll scare you away." I wanted to admit.

It's true. I've been visiting the beach everyday since I got home. And I continued to ever since I saw her here with her book every sunset.

She chuckled and the sound tickled my heart like tiny bells.

"Dummy. You'll be seeing beautiful sunsets once you board that ship. Will you be doing domestic or international?"

"Sunsets on the ship won't matter as much because I won't be seeing you with it." I wondered to myself as I looked at her.

"International." I simply answered.

"Wow, look at you big shot. Bring me souvenirs?" She requested like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like we've been doing it forever.

Since meeting her again last week, though it was from afar, even if she didn't ask me today, I would've still sent her the postcards she loved to collect, and little trinkets and magnets for the desk she loved to decorate.

"Sure baby." I answered. Like it was the most normal thing for me to say.

She went silent after that, but there's no mistaking that angry blush on her cheeks so I grabbed that chance to tease her.

"Look at you, blushing like a cherry. Do you have a crush on me?" I bravely teased.

In my head, I wanted to punch myself. Even if it was years ago, she probably still held grudges when we confronted about what WE had...

She swatted at my hands as I tried to tickle her but I was no match for her.

Until her chair collapsed and she fell on top of me, wrestling me on the mat and rolling us into the sand.

Now I was no match for HER. I'm suddenly a gradeschool kid with a crush.

"Shit- I'm sorry. You okay?" I laughed as she did too. I was relieved when she found the situation funny.

Maybe I shouldn't have just brought the topic up.

"What if I tell you that I still like you though?" she suddenly said, still laughing.

The laughter died nervously on my throat.

"What...?"

She crawled on to my other side, away from my grasp, and she sat down on the sand, facing the waves.

"I'm afraid I never "unliked" you, Kim Mingyu." she admitted. Her voice suddenly blue.

I faced her then, even though her gaze wasn't on me.

"I-"

"Nah, it's fine. I'm glad we're still buddies after all this time though." she smiled, bravely facing me as she gave me a friendly punch to the shoulder.

I held her hand there.

"What if I tell you that I want to be more than just buddies?" I finally said.

I FINALLY said.

This time, it was her turn to be silent.

I pulled her hand toward me and gently caressed lazy circles at the back of her palm.

"Y/n, I don't have any valid excuse towards being a jerk all those years ago. But I liked you. I guess, I just didn't have it in me to say it out loud." I finally admitted.

"Please don't do this, Mingyu. Not when you're boarding soon." she said. Her voice scared.

"Oh, baby, no. I'm not saying this to play with you. I'm saying this to get it off my chest and so you'd have peace of mind." I tried.

"But Gyu, how would I have peace of mind now, knowing that it wasn't one sided? Knowing that after whatever this conversation right now is, you'll be boarding soon, and I wouldn't see you again for a year or two." she sputtered, tears threatening to fall from her hazel eyes.

God, I didn't want those tears to fall.

I wasn't able to answer her immediately and she had another question to challenge me.

"Mingyu, after all these years... do you happen to still like me then?" she bravely asked. Her voice almost a whisper among the sea breeze and crawling waves.

"Yes." I answered. How idiot of me to admit it just like that when she deserved something more grand.

Someone like her deserved something more than just an explanation and a lousy yes from a scaredy-cat like me.

She pulled her hand from me and angrily wiped the tears that finally fell from her eyes. I gently stopped her and dared to caress her cheek, chasing her tears myself.

"I'm sorry y/n..."

"Don't be." she said. It scared me because I didn't know how she meant it.

I held her like a fragile pearl. I didn't want to let her go.

"You don't have to be sorry, Gyu." she said after a few beats. Her hand finding its place on top of the one I have left cupping her cheek.

She felt my class ring on that hand. I never took it off after our ceremony.

"You don't have to be sorry. I won't force you into something you don't feel like doing."

"Oh please, y/n, don't say it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're not someone worth taking risks for." I firmly told her.

Gently, I forced myself to remove my hand on her cheek.

I removed my class ring.

The supposed symbol of loyalty to my fellow cadets, the academy, and the seven seas that I'll soon be able to see.

I played with it on my hands, tossing it and catching it.

"Y/n... we don't have to rush it. Will you give me a chance to set things right? As they should have been, three years ago?"

She looked at the ring in my palm, then at the sea.

"What are you doing, Mingyu?" she seriously asked, a hint of nervousness tinted her voice.

"Taking a fucking risk for someone who deserves the world and a man who's not a nutless jerk." I teased though my voice was hopeful.

She locked gazes with me, and after a solid minute, she gave me a tiny nod.

I felt a fire start in my chest.

"Y/n?"

"Will you let me wait for you?" she finally asked.

"Damn it y/n, someone like you doesn't deserve to wait." I nervously laughed.

She chuckled. "Well, you big dummy, apparently, our situation will require us to wait."

"Well... will you wait for me then?" I asked her, my voice obviously hopeful but I couldn't care anymore.

"I hoped for this to happen all those years ago, Gyu. And deep down, I still think of what could have happened if what I hoped for came true."

I held her hands, the ring sandwiched between our palms.

"Will you let me make it happen?" I asked.

"So suddenly?" she laughed.

I know it was stupid and true, but I nodded.

She looked down at our hands and grabbed the ring, sliding it back to where it's supposed to belong on my hand.

"Go out and explore the world, cadet. And come back to me." she finally said.

I feel like I fucking won a cruise of a lifetime.

I grinned like an idiot and removed my class ring. Then, I hastily removed the seaglass necklace I had on.

I slipped the ring on to the necklace, then showed it to her.

She smiled as if she knew what I was about to do even before I was deciding to do it.

I knelt on the sand and went behind her to secure the necklace on to her neck. I couldn't help but kiss the top of her head when she finally let down her hair after I've locked the necklace.

I sat back on the sand, facing her, as she admired the blue seaglass and the silver class ring on her neck.

Again, tears started falling from her eyes.

"Oh come on, y/n!" I teased as I pulled her towards me. She let me hug her to my chest as I rubbed her back when she finally sobbed into my shirt.

"It's so unfair though. All of this happens but we won't be seeing each other again for a year." she cries.

"I know, love. I'm sorry." I whispered in her hair.

"Again with the sorry, Gyu." she managed to laugh amidst her sniffles.

"I'm sorry I was scared. I'm sorry I was late." I whispered still, shutting my eyes as tears started to form on the corners of my own as I remembered how I regretted not doing this sooner when we could have had more time.

She must have sensed it, because tear stained as she is, she leaned away and cupped my face on her slender hands, and bravely faced me with determination all over her face.

"Don't be sorry. I already swore I'd wait for you." She said firmly. I took the necklace on my hands and caressed my class ring dangling from it, thinking about the cost of buying another one to replace it since we're not supposed to really remove it, especially since we're boarding soon.

"I'll wait for you like you waited for the time that you decided you're not scared anymore." She teased and I laughed, stray tears leaving my eyes.

Gently she wiped them away, then brought her forehead on top of mine, her nose grazing the tip of my own.

"God, I waited to be this close to you." she whispered with her eyes closed.

I closed my eyes and dared to kiss her nose.

She giggled and I took it as a good thing. My heart soared.

"I'll send you postcards at every dock we hop on." I promised her and she continued to giggle. I kissed her forehead.

"And I'll send you seven rings from the seven seas until I could finally ask you to be my girlfriend." I swore. I kissed her cheek.

"And after that, I'll come back to you. And after that, I'll court the rest of your family. Then I'll let another few years pass on another fucking ship then I'll come back and marry you here." I swore boldly, kissing her other cheek.

She slapped my chest playfully.

"Now, now, sailor. Don't get ahead of yourself." she laughed.

"Someone once told me that if you say your wishes to the sea, the waves will carry it out for you until they happen." I softly told her, as I guided her back to my chest.

"I wonder who that someone is. They sound wise." she teased, knowing it was her who said it when we were in highschool and she bought me the same seaglass necklace I had on and gave her with my ring. She got it for me during our class trip to Jeju.

"Oh, I trust that someone. I trust that her words ring true." I boasted, resting my head on hers.

She then looked up at me and smiled, and I felt like swimming into the ocean and challenging our class ship to a fucking race.

I leaned in to kiss her forehead again as if I've been doing it for years, even if I was only able to find the guts to do it a few minutes ago.

I'm glad she's letting me.

I lingered there for a bit, then rested my cheek on top of her head. I faced the sea with her, the waves calling me out of my daydream as I realized that I have to leave her after tomorrow.

I closee my eyes and forced myself to bask into this moment and memorize every second of it so I can survive at sea with memories of her.

Slowly, I felt her shift, and dumbly, I looked at her as I realized that she's taken a brave step by kissing me on the jaw.

I stared even more dumbly at her when she giggled.

"A good luck charm for the cadet. Since I can't kiss you here yet." she teased, as she tapped my lips with her finger.

God, she's a tease.

"I'll have to tattoo that on my jaw then, sweetheart." I teased her back, as she had the audacity to guffaw at my face.

With courage I never knew I had in me, I gently placed my thumb on her lips.

Then I kissed her there.

"A promise for my return. Since I can't kiss you here yet." I teased her back, as I gently swiped my thumb over her soft lips, her face cherry red from shock of what I just did.

"HOW DARE YOU." she exclaimed, swatting at my chest. This time, I guffawed in front of HER face.

Eventually, she got tired of hitting me. Eventually, she melted back into my arms and into my chest. Her body fitting comfortably snug against mine.

And then, silence enveloped us again as we watched the last of the sun sink into the horizon, knowing that tomorrow is our last day in another long while, but at the same time, a new chapter for the both of us to look forward to.

---------------------------------------------------------

A/N

Hi hiii!

Been a while since the last time I made a one-shot🥹 I was inspired by my visit to the beach today, and I saw a lot of groups enjoying the sea. Then Mingyu went live tonight too, so I thought of making him the character here.

I know it's pretty long, but if you reached this point, then thanks for staying by to finish it😭🩷🙏🏻 I enjoyed writing this so much, I hope you enjoyed reading it too!

As usual, thanks for your support!🙌🏻

Also, if you want to and if you can, please reblog this so other readers can also see my works🥹🙏🏻🩵

Thanks again, and Happy 3000 days, SEVENTEEN!

Lablab~

#svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen #svt au #svt x reader #svt fanfic #svt fluff #svt oneshot #mingyu fluff #mingyu au #mingyu x y/n #mingyu oneshot #mingyu fanfic #mingyu imagines #mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #mingyu

[viscountessevie]

Uhhh my OG anon about the poll,,,,you came to the right person: ya non-binary pal is a Greek nerd and honestly wtf is that comparison. Actually you know what Imma just show yall the INSANE ask I just got. Not cos of the anon but the insanity that is the Polio fandom.

I am LEGIT seething at this comparison. First the show wants to do My Fair Lady aka Pygmalion and now this bullshit. RMB (while an okay book) IS NOT THAT DEEP! 

More Under The Cut [Cos it got long and this is the TDLR Sanji is Pissed Version]

Also the book couple had chemistry, the show version does not!! All this education and they can’t fucking read our full arguments. The Greek shit aside, I knew adding the education qn would be a slippery slope this whole fucking convo is SO condescending. It’s giving the assholes who put down Simone for being a college dropout in comparison to CC’s Oxford degree. 

Anyways that’s my knee-jerk reaction to getting these asks - thank you anon for them!! If any of you who has seen this thread, would you by any chance be cool sharing screenshots of this convo? They don’t deserve anonymity for such brain dead takes. I’ll be making a full well thought out thesis about this - you bet your ass you’re getting a spin off to My Fair Lady thesis but now its Why RMB Will Never Be The Odyssey. 

Also anyone else wanna send asks about this post or add comments/reblogs to this post pls do so! Imma compile everything together in one master post and add in everyone’s thoughts on this too. 

Before I forget, I initially made this post to tell the anon to give me time cos this is gonna have a MONSTER of an answer and also I’m working on another long ask atm! So I wanna clear that as well before diving into this. I was gonna tackle S3 asks but this is tooo insane to let it wait 

EDIT: I’m adding in the newer asks because holy shit the extended convo is horrifying: 

The quotes of this full ask between these two screenies were all quotes that are compiled above so it seemed redundant to put those quotes in again but it looks like more people have found that insane public thread yikes. 

I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THIS TAKE “I’m from SEA so I enjoy something more light hearted” LMAO WHAT girlie did you not have strict Asian parents who parentified you?? But I also get it if that person was traumatised by her life that she finds comfort in light hearted romances which is valid but Jesus this is not it. 

You’re SO right babes I’m gonna cover this in my masterpost. I think they’re trying to overcompensate because we always call them dumb for liking a ship with no chemistry and one of them is a racist in their show version. Anyways can’t wait to see what else yall have to tell me on this topic! Also it doesn’t have to be just the Education question, since we’re talking about the poll we might as well pick it apart! 

#Bridgerton #Bridgerton Fandom #Bridgerton Discourse #anti penelope featherington #Penalty (Bridgerton) #Anti-Polin #Pelican (Bridgerton) #Block these tags if you don't wanna see this shit #God I wish I could be this delusional as those users #I'd be happier in life for real #Bridgerton Poll #Bridgerton Asks

[zaydatft]

So I watched the entirely of your DnD video and I found it to be really good, however, I noticed one small irreverent error in it, when you were talking about the infamous Pinkertons you said something that was wrong, and that was the Pinkertons being involved in the enforcement of the Fugitive Slave Act, and while the Pinkertons were utterly and completely evil, I couldn't find anything in relation to it, so I was wondering what your source was given Allan Pinkerton well-known involvement on the union side of the civil war.

Hey thank you so much for reaching out and also this is an excellent question! Honestly this was completely my fault for not taking my time in the video to further clarify what I meant and is something I’d change if I could since I did kind of just throw it out there without a lot of clarification since the video was already ballooning way out of scope. See it’s a common American myth that the pinkerton’s actions where completely unmotivated by race which is a fair assessment to come to considering Allan Pinkerton was an abolitionist. Unfortunately though this is one of those ship of Theseus type conundrums.

See a lot of slave patrols including the Texas rangers once dissolved due to the civil rights act would find new work under the pinkertons a few years later (especially if you where a Scottish or Irish American but thats because of a litany of other socio-economic factors). Both on the lower grunt levels and also higher up within their ranks a lot of the core of the Pinkerton where made up of ex-slave trade Irish Americans. I really don’t blame anyone for not knowing this off hand since the pinkertons are still actively distancing themselves from this era of their formation.

So yes while factually its incorrect to say “the Pinkerton organization” was directly assisting in the slave trade, A LOT of soon to be pinkertons sure as shit where. Look into anyone who was around Allen Pinkerton and your bound to bump into some ex-slave trade boot lickers eventually. So “the pinkertons” as an organization are clean but the pinkertons as agents where often coming fresh off that era of history. I wish I had one really strong resource for this that like pulled all the names of these assholes together but unfortunately I don’t so I’ll unfortunately have to leave this post on a “do your own research cuz im a fucking clutzy bimbo YouTuber bitch who forgot to find a good resource for this claim” note. (Would make a great thesis project tho if your in college!)

remember kids-

It’s important to check the sources and discuss information on opinions even if you agree with them!!!

Thank you for taking the time to fact check me and thank you for the support!

[purplesurveys]

1602

How many people have you liked this year? Zero.

How many pills do you take a day? None. If not prescribed I only take one for headaches, and even then I try not to make it a habit for every headache I ever get.

Do you have any celebrity crushes? I have the biggest one on Kim Namjoon these days. Also Song Hyekyo because sis is totally in the middle of her revenge era and I’m here for it.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Either time travel or space travel, if only either didn’t have the complications they pose.

Do you put ketchup on top of your French fries or on the side? Side, because I don’t like ketchup and putting it on the side would allow me to ignore it lol. No but seriously, I prefer any condiment to be on the side when eating fries.

Where did you last sleep other than your house? Our accommodation in Zambales.

Where did you get your last bruise from? It’s been a while since I got one but the last is probably from doggy playtime gone wrong. My bruises these days are almost always from those.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? Well yeah, unless you’re single and kissing a taken/married person?

Ever worn something of the opposite sex's clothing? Sure. A shirt I bought last week was off the men’s section.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Sure.

Last CD you blasted through your car stereo? I haven’t inserted a CD in my car in years, but the last song I listened to was most likely something from Indigo as I’ve tuned in to that album all month long.

How many email accounts do you have? I have three main ones - 1 work email, 2 personal emails.

Who is the best cook in your family? My dad is literally head chef on a cruise ship so that’s a no-brainer. Other than him, both my grandmas are fantastic cooks and have their own specialties, so it makes every visit to them exciting haha.

Which baby animal is your favorite? Puppies and elephants.

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? No, we don’t do that here.

When is the last time you went to a carnival? Oh man. Must have been a pre-pandemic fair in either my high school or university.

Do you have a favorite glass, cup, or mug? I don’t have one, I just go with whichever mug my hand reaches out for first from our mug rack.

What branch of science interests you the most? Biology. Have you ever written anything longer than 10 pages? Numerous reports and reaction papers in college. My thesis was also over 100 pages long.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with via text? I haven’t had deep conversations through text since my last partner.

Twitter or Tumblr? Twitter. I’m only here for surveys and the occasional fanfic if my favorite author happens to update or publish stories.

Have you ever been given a lapdance by an actual stripper? Nope.

Favorite YouTuber? Josh and Ollie of Korean Englishman. Most of the time though I watch more structured(?) channels like Watcher, Try Guys, About to Eat, Vice Asia, Asian Boss, Business Insider, etc., instead of more laidback people who talk to the camera from like their bedroom/studio.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? To an extent. I wouldn’t say this was a main trait of theirs though.

Have you ever written a love letter to someone as a joke? No. If not an inside joke between friends, wouldn’t this be a shitty thing to do?

Do you have any gay family members? I have inklings but otherwise nobody is out.

Was your first kiss romantic? Yes, it was.

What are you most likely to go to jail for? Hurting someone who hurt my dog. < This is true, but personally it applies to anyone I would see hurting animals. When we were in Sagada’s town center buying souvenirs there was this dude who ran over a dog (I knew the dog should have been in blatant view from his car when the incident occurred) and I didn’t hesitate to scream and call him out, only stopping because my mom forcefully pulled me away from the scene. Crowds be damned - I did what I best could to the piece of shit. Anyway, right after the gigantic waste of skin drove off, I stayed long enough to check on the dog – he managed to get out unscathed and I only calmed down once I saw him scampering away.

Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? My sister’s friend.

What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? She is. The more applicable question would be what I’d think if she turned out straight, to which I’d be very surprised. She’s the biggest misandrist I know, so I’d never expect such a change.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? For one of them, just one. I’m not sure with the other best friend.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? Two years ago.

Are you currently “appearing offline” to anybody? My Messenger is set in such a way that I look offline. It’s been in that setting for the last two? three-ish years and I have no plans to change it ever because it’s not like people look at the green dot anymore lol.

What were you for Halloween last year? I was that all-black character with a mask from Squid Game. Can’t remember the name anymore.

Do you believe that karma can come back and slap you in the face? I don’t believe it’s karma necessarily, but your decisions can definitely come back and bite you, that’s for sure. < Yeah, sounds about right.

Have you ever been to Texas? I haven’t. Not really high up on the list in terms of places in the USA I want to visit.

Do your siblings text you? My sister and I mainly communicate through Messenger. She never has load so we don’t text.

Have you ever searched for your own house on Google Earth? Sure. I’ve done the same for places I regularly go to, my old schools, boujee villages in Manila just so I can see how many houses have swimming pools LOL, etc.

Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? No.

Who is your ex dating/talking to? Somebody. I’m not sure, I don’t keep touch and I’ve asked my friends not to tell me about it for the simple reason that it’s not relevant to my life anymore.

Who did you last pinky promise with? Can’t remember. I don’t do those.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? I had to share a room with both parents and siblings until I was 10. And then for like one week in high school my sister and I shared a bedroom until we both decided we don’t like the arrangement lol.

What happened at the last party you went to? I won a minor prize in the raffle, had the best mushroom soup I’ve EVER had, and tried to convince people that I was dressed up as Winnie the Pooh (the party was Disney-themed) haha.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying? Yeah, at least a few times a week.

When was the last time you felt ill? What was wrong? May 2020, turned out to be a UTI. Was a bitch trying to get treatment for it considering that was Peak Peak PEAK Pandemic Era and all hospitals and clinics were prioritizing Covid cases. What a time.

Who was your first best friend? Do you still speak to that person? Angela! Yeah I literally messaged her that we should get drinks soon like 5 minutes ago.

Are you wearing anything that was given to you as a gift? I’m wearing the Koya slippers that my dad got me for Christmas. I got two pairs! The other Koya pair was given to me by Angela and I switch them everyday to make sure I’m making good use of both hahaha.

What is your least favourite song, by your favourite artist? War of Hormone makes my eyes roll all the way back to the ninth level of hell. Does it make me a hypocrite? Yes. Will I continue to dislike the song? Yup.

What color is your jewelry box? I don’t have one. I don’t have nearly enough jewelry/accessories to justify getting one.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? No.

What is your brother/sister’s favorite food? My sister is into sushi these days.

Do you have any ice cream in your freezer? What flavour is it? We haven’t in a while, but I can bet someone will get a tub for media noche.

In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? Angela.

Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now? I don’t like anyone.

Does anyone know your Facebook password? I don’t think so.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? I wouldn’t consider getting any piercings.

Do you enjoy being outdoors? If the weather cooperates and I like where we’re headed, yes.

Gay marriage: love is love or a horrible stand against God? The former; get religion out of the way.

How many times have you been to a zoo? Several. What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? Nothing really. I’m an open book, and if I cover a topic that could potentially invite discomfort it’s only because other people asked for it lol.

[ofstarsandskies]

▲ : What sort of information do you like to see on someone’s role play page that helps you determine whether or not you would want to write with them?

@pyonpyonpyon || Mun Writing Quirks/Look Fors/Headcanons Meme

OutOfCanonShips;; Admittedly my first instinct with rules isn't picking for certain info nuggets. Rather, I can usually vet if someone's for me by looking at the tone of how triggers/blocked tags are written.

I.E. what I tend to look for is whether someone's rules seem like they're written with a sort of casual tone such as, "I block X/Y/Z tag so tag _ if we interact!". Cause I get it: there's certain topics folks don't wanna read and asking someone to not bring it up around them? Wholly understand! Setting boundaries is what a healthy partnership's all about.

Meanwhile if I see rules written with a more aggressive voice such as, "DNI if you like/write X cause Y!", that's usually cue for me to steer clear even if I don't remotely fall into that category. Reason being, I find myself having to walk on eggshells when I talk to or write with a mun with aggressive stances on a topic/ship.

When I interact with the latter, instead of an easy thought of, "Okay, since they block this tag, I'll avoid that topic!", the thoughts become, "Is this fine? Would they consider this too much like _? Do I scrap this whole starter/reply?". And to me, if I'm fine tuning every interaction to make absolutely sure it COULDN'T be interpreted as X/Y/Z, replies become more like turning in a college thesis than playing off of a fellow hobbyist; the fun just isn't there.

In short, I tend to focus first on how content warnings/please tags are written than what they ask for. One I can accommodate with no second guessing, the other I often find too stifling.

#pyonpyonpyon #OutOfCanonShips;; #[This got long wups.] #[But I'll admit I've had messy cutting ties on this basis.] #[And so I've found the problems stop if I trust my gut and block+filter those I cant see me jiving with.] #[But hey thanks for giving me the chance to word sandwich lol]

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 185

Quick shout-out to @ireadandcooktoomuch for your recent speed-run of the story.  It always warms my heart when I see a new reader hit my inbox with love-bombs.

Thanks, as always, to @baelpenrose for your beta reading.  And to everyone who ever submitted a character to the story, because I honestly don’t think the story would even work at this point without these precise and particular characters.

In the end, I managed to convince the rest of the Council - mostly Grey - that there isn’t much meddling I can do immediately.  After politely thanking them for giving me carte blanche to orchestrate and coordinate as much chaos as necessary, I was allowed to leave and digest what actually just happened.  As soon as we left the Council chamber, Hannah and Parvati immediately relaxed, and after about five minutes of walking, apparently it sank in that they could actually talk to me freely.

“I can’t believe they insisted on keeping such an unfair sentence,” Hannah murmured first. “Only to turn around and lift it as soon as it benefitted them.”

I resisted the urge to laugh, mostly because I knew it was from bitterness and not directed at Hannah. “That’s bureaucracy for you,” I confirmed. “And you’ll have to get used to it when one of you take the reins.”

She shook her head. “Right when I started to think one of us might be ready, all this - “ she waved a hand vaguely, “happened. So I’m more angry that they kept you from your friends and family than I am that they brought you back, honestly.”

“How could you have even trained us for something like this?” Parvati asked in exasperation as we came around the corner nearest our office. “This is literally something that hasn’t happened in the history of humanity. Every emergency we’ve had on the Ark has been. I don’t understand how you could have been prepared for any of it.”

“Well built pants,” I laughed softly.  Both of them looked even more confused, and more than slightly concerned that I had actually lost my mind this time. “The secret to flying by the seat of your pants,” I clarified. “It’s ‘well built pants’.”

“Thanks! Cryptic advice is always helpful!” Parvati chirped sarcastically.

Fair enough. “I never knew for sure what I was doing, in any of those situations. I was freaking out the whole time and hoping I didn’t get anyone killed.” Real reassuring, genius… “I did the best with what I did have experience with and just kind of… scaled it up.  Same thing I did when I was in school and had no idea how to write a term paper, or a thesis, and suddenly had to do four or five every semester - I learned how to write a five-point paragraph in middle school, applied that to five paragraph and then five page papers in high school.  In college it just expanded, that’s all.  Same principal, really.”

“You brain is so weird,” Hannah laughed. “No wonder no one understands you, Charly, and Tyche when you’re all together.  So, Master of Pants, how does knowing how to write a paper save the world? Enlighten us.”

I groaned. “It doesn’t, and I never said I saved the world. Building on what you already know is how you handle unfamiliar crises, that’s all I’m saying.  You just take the familiar thing - in this example writing a paragraph - hook it to the new thing - a thesis - and solve for what doesn’t match. Thesis is longer, for sure, so you make the parts longer. Introduction goes from one sentence to one thousand words. The three supporting sentences become three chapters. The thesis statement becomes the conclusion - another thousand or two thousand words. Suddenly, you realize you do know how to do it. Or at least have a pretty good idea.”

“So, how does that work in the real world? Like with the ship being sabotaged?” Parvati challenged.

Reminding myself that I had to teach them how to do this on their own or I would never be able to retire, I surrendered. “I grew up in the part of NorthAm nicknamed ‘Tornado Alley’. Random destruction with little-to-no notice and lots of clean up afterward was just a Tuesday afternoon for nearly two decades of my life. Recovering from a disaster is recovering from a disaster: you need clean water, unspoiled food, and somewhere safe to sleep.  Maybe that place to sleep is a gymnasium, maybe the water wasn’t as clean as you thought, so you have to find new water. Still the same thing.”

“Everyone being drugged?” she insisted.

“Dirty water and spoiled food are dirty water and spoiled food,” I shrugged. “Add to it the fact that nearly half of everyone I’ve known as an adult had special dietary requirements, and you just get used to tossing contaminated food out and being super picky about what replaces it.”

Hannah clapped her hands, joining the game. “What about being almost-murdered?”

“I don’t know which time you’re talking about, but by the time I got on the Ark, none of them were even the fourth time that’s happened. Next question.”

She frowned in comprehension, and I could almost see her file an interrogation away for later. “Talking plague?”

“I grew up training cats and dogs, and if you can get any living thing to communicate what they need, they tend to be gentle. I don’t have to speak the language.”

“But what if Else hadn’t been gentle?” she pointed out.

I hummed and tilted my head side to side. “I might have ended up dead, but Else definitely would have been.  We had to talk Grey out of creating new broad-spectrum antibiotics, and it was a really close thing. Pretty sure the specs are still in the database somewhere. So, I kind of also had the threat of that on my side.” I was kind of surprised by how embarrassed I felt to mention that.

She blanched and shook her head, gesturing to Parvati.  Vati didn’t even hesitate. “Cult leader out for your job and possibly your life?”

“Y’all,” I stopped walking and gave an exaggerated groan. “I worked in an office for ten years, trained to be a teacher, and was a public speaker.  Everyone tried to take my job, and as soon as I tried to give it to them, chickened out. That wasn’t even close to being a new thing.”

“But the cult - “ Hannah added.

“Okay, that one was a lot of luck,” I admitted. “Closest I could get was the two years out of that decade-long office job where I spent every day trying to convince little old ladies that I didn’t want their house, I wanted their money so they could keep the house… which was less ruthless and a lot weirder than it sounds.”

“You have the most bizarre resume,” Parvati muttered.

As soon as she opened her mouth to add to that, I held my hand up to cut her off. “Judging by the line of questioning, next up is the pirates, and if you knew the number of criminals I would trust my life to before I would trust a ‘fine upstanding citizen’, you wouldn’t even bother asking.

Parvati’s mouth snapped shut before she shrugged. “That’s actually a fair point. We’ve all met Arthur - “

“Hey!” I cried. “He’s not actually a criminal!”

“No,” she agreed, “but Arantxa apparently was, so it’s nice to know you’re fallible sometimes.”  I narrowed my eyes and pressed my lips into a thin line. She ignored it and kept walking.

Hannah seemed thoughtful for a moment before slowly turning to glance at me. “So… what is the resolution for the racist space cops?”

I shrugged. “Honestly? I’m going with ‘same as it would have been for racist Terran cops’.”

Parvati caught what I meant, and slowly responded. “Avoid notice and reproach as much as possible until you can get rid of them, then get rid of them at the first possible opportunity?”

“See, you guys didn’t need me as much as you thought you did.”

Hannah, on the other hand, sputtered. “Wait… What? No, nevermind, you’re right, just… is it really that simple?”

Parvati scoffed. “I don’t know what part of that led you to believe it’s ‘simple’ to fix.”

I glanced at Hannah and pointed at Parvati, who had a good point. “They don’t want us to be around anymore than we want them here. That doesn’t make this easy, at all.  But that’s where we start, and I can now directly point Arthur and Derek at it.”

Hannah groaned and rubbed her face. “That screams Andover-part-deux,” she complained.

“Annnnd that’s what Xiomara’s for,” I sang. “To keep it from going quite that far.”

It was Parvati’s turn to scowl and shake her head, only stopping when her entire body came to an abrupt halt. “Oh crap, we forgot about the feral space-child!”

That one, I waved off. “Dealt with. Fostering the children of your enemies to cement a treaty is an extremely historic tradition.  Please refer any further questions on the topic to the aforementioned Professor Farro.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Neither would I.” 

“Okay then, you have all the answer you need,” I grinned at the lightning-fast responses.  To say fostering and adoption, especially in combination with political alliances, was a pet topic of Arthurs was a breathtaking understatement.  He could, and had, pontificate on the topic for hours.

“Who’s even going to know how to deal with her?” Hannah asked, much more seriously.

I waved that one off, too. “We have a resident mermaid and a feral space adult. Teeth will be fine.”

“You mean Nixe and Charly!?” came the screeched response.

“She’ll be fiiiiinnnne!” I insisted even more loudly.

All I got was a sigh of surrender and a grumpy “Can you use laver for textiles?”

“Perfect time to find out!” I responded cheerfully. “Why don’t you go ask her?”

“Which one?”

“Either? Both? All three? I don’t know the answer and now I’m really curious.”

 << Prev  Masterlist  Next >>

#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

[reidyoulikeabook]

Invisible String

Ship: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid

Warnings: None, this is just fluff.

Word count: 3.2k

Summary: You and Spencer Reid don’t know it, but you’ve almost met quite a few times. What happens when you do?

A/N: This is potentially a bit on the wrong side of the cheesy line, but I was listening to invisible string by Taylor Swift and couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Pls bare in mind I’m from the UK and my only understanding of the US college system is from Google searches, so pls be forgiving of any misunderstandings about that.

November 6th, 2007

Dr. Spencer Reid. As you sat, thumbing through the article he’d written about the formation of ionic compounds in a chemical whose name you could not for the life of you spell or pronounce, you couldn’t help but resent the man.

Sure, the paper was very well-written and as cohesive as possible given the complex subject matter. But Dr. Spencer Reid, whoever he was, was the current source of your resentment at selecting chemistry to make up your science credit. Highlighting the name of a substance you’d have to look up later, you sighed. It was getting late but you had to hand in a critical summary of the paper on Friday.

It didn’t help that Dr. Reid was: a) a triple doctorate holder by the age of 22, or b) that your chemistry lecturer was none other than his old chemistry lecturer from Caltech and practically glowed with pride whenever he got to bring him up.

You chew on the end of your pen, having now distracted yourself from the notes. Not that you were particularly focused anyway.

In another life, maybe you’d have been a budding chemist who could describe an ionic lattice off rote. In this one, however, you’d just have to settle for slogging through the list of chemical processes and hoping you understood it well enough to please Dr. Reid’s biggest fan.

***

April 16th, 2008

Spencer hated flaking on commitments. It caused him a great deal of anxiety, the feeling of disappointing someone. He didn’t have much choice in this circumstance though.

Diana had taken ill over the last weekend. Nothing serious, some stomach bug or other. She’d become severely dehydated though, and had been hospitalised as a precautionary measure. Truth be told, he might not have gone if she hadn’t caught him on the phone. He was already feeling guilty for not having visited since Christmas. He wrote her letters everyday, yet still felt like he was neglecting his duties as a son. Rubbing his hands over his face, he lets out a deep sigh. Then takes out his laptop, to send another email.

Dear. Dr Abraham

I sincerely apologise again for my last minute cancellation. Excluding any unforeseen circumstances, myself and SSA Hotchner will be available to present the lecture on May 12th.

Yours sincerely,

Dr. Spencer Reid.

***

May 12th, 2008

Considering this was your third year on campus, you sure were bad at finding your way around. In your defence, they were doing maintenance in one of the main buildings, meaning that lectures got shuffled around and relocated. You probably had a higher change of attending the right lecture by accident than on purpose.

It doesn’t help that you’re running a little late this morning. You rush into Room 203. A lot of the seats are taken, you have to meander your way past quite a few people until you end up sat almost directly in the middle. Only moments before the lecture starts.

“I’m SSA Hotchner, and this is SSA Reid. We’re members of the BAU which is based at FBI quarters in Quantico. Today, we’ll be talking to you about profiling.”

This is not your forensic linguistics lecture.

Panic hits you, hot in your gut. Scanning the room anxiously, you suddenly become conscious that you’re drawing attention to yourself when you feel the eyes of the man who is not SSA Hotchner on you. Fuck.

There’s no way for you to escape now, not without disturbing half the lecture hall.

So you sit back in your seat, resigning yourself to sit awkwardly in the lecture you’re not supposed to be in and hoping nobody notices.

But then, it’s really interesting, actually. The work that Dr. Reid does sounds similar to work you’ve done in forensic linguistics, analysing patterns of speech and minor phrase formations that can give things away about the perpetrator. By the end of the seminar, you’re sat leaning forward. Enraptured by almost every word coming out of their mouths.

It seems to be the general mood: everyone is enamoured. People are clammering to speak to them at the end. After a brief inner battle, myou decide that you should talk to them too.

What’s the harm?

You’ve decided that you’ll speak to Dr. Reid, since he seems to share more of a field focus. However, as you’re heading down, you spot him. Dr Adams, your chemistry lecturer from last year. Oh shit, it’s that Dr. Reid.

Speaking to SSA Hotchner will just have to do instead.

----

“I’ve been majoring in forensic linguistics and criminal psychology,” You tell him, “Do you think ... I mean, I know it’s a pretty exclusive team to get on to. But is that the kind of thing that could maybe get me there one day?”

Hotchner nods, “Forensic linguistics is something that comes in very useful in the investigative aspects of cases. The FBI is always looking for new angles and perspectives, those are both good subjects to study if you were thinking of signing up to the academy.”

"Thank you, Agent Hotchner,” You say, suddenly a little bashful as you notice the queue of people lingering behind you, “That was a really interesting lecture. It’s definitely something I’ll think about.”

“You should talk to Dr. Reid if you have a particular interest in the linguistic aspect of profiling. He’s more specialised in that area than I am. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to discuss any research you’re conducting at the moment and suggest materials that might be helpful in furthering your understanding of the area.”

“Thank you,” You smile, and he nods at you again.

Stepping away from Agent Hotchner, you look to your right. Dr. Reid is still engaged deeply in conversation with Dr. Adams. You glance at your watch. There was time before your next class, you supposed, so you could wait. It couldn’t hurt to find out more, could it? It wasn‘t like you were getting your hopes up or anything.

It’s then that you feel a pair of arms around your waist, a familiar scent of cologne.

“Hey!” You whip around to see your boyfriend, grinning widely.

“Hey,” You reply, “How’d you find me?”

“I was walking past when I saw you talking to that FBI agent. Seriously, FBI?” He asks, with a disapproving quirk of his eyebrow, “You want to grab a coffee before Psych?”

You want to say no. But he’s got his hand on the small of your back, leading  you out of the room before you even get a chance to reply. You glance back over your shoulder, making eye contact with Dr. Reid for all of two seconds before you’re swept away.

“Seriously though babe, FBI?”

Unsurpisingly, you don’t mention your potential change in career path to him.

***

March 8th, 2009

“Come in,” Hotch calls. He looks up from the paperwork on his desk to see Spencer entering the room, clutching a report in his hand.

“That last case we were on. I was doing some more research, just for future reference about linguistic patterns. Have you read this?” He asks, sliding a copy of your paper across the desk.

Hotch gives it a cursary look over, nodding, “Yes. It’s interesting. She’s signed up as an NAT. I believe I actually spoke to her at one of our lectures last year.”

"Her work is really impressive for somebody whose only studied this at a master level.”

Hotch almost smiles, “Yes. That’s exactly why I’ve recommended to the bureau that she signs up for profiling classes. Her work shows a lot of promise. They’re sending over a copy of her completed thesis, if you’d like to read it.”

“Yeah, I’d like that, thank you,” Spencer says, struggling to conceal the smile playing on the corner of his lips.

“I’ll email it to you as soon as I receive it.”

Spencer nods, smiling properly to himself as he leaves the room. It wasn’t unusual, exactly, for him to share new research that was relevant to cases. It was important that they all kept themselves fresh and acquainted with new theories about the field. Hotch, however, didn’t miss the excited way Spencer had presented it to him. Talking about how impressive you were, as if to subtly hint. He thinks it’s quite typical, actually, that Spencer could take such an interest in someone he only knew via an essay.

Although Spencer’s response does get Hotch to send a follow-up email, inquiring about whether you’d agreed to the classes. If Spencer was this impressed with your work, it must be good.

***

June 1st, 2009

The Metro that morning is packed. It doesn’t help that you’ve not been living here long, and don’t exactly know the route from your flat to the station off by heart yet.

You'd also had to make a detour to the post office. Your, firmly ex, boyfriend had mailed over the last of your things. Really, it was good riddance. His hounding you about your choice in job had only worsened. The relationship had been hanging on by a thread long before you’d moved away last month. You were more than a little grateful that it was finally over, that you could draw a line under it all and focus on your career.

Unfortunately, that hadn’t stopped you having a little cry to yourself on the way over.

Rushing, you make it onto the Metro just as the doors are about to close, falling against the railing on the left side. You grip onto it for dear life.

On the other side of the carriage, Spencer notices someone hurrying for the train. He had been buried deep in the paper he's reading, but the bustle had pulled his attention. Your back is to him, and there’s a scarf at your feet. He wants to say something, to try and get your attention, but he can’t from where he is.

“Miss, I think you’ve dropped something,” The woman you’re standing in front of says, gesturing to the scarf pooled at your feet.

You meet her eyes, sniffling slightly, “Thank you.”

Spencer watches as you pick it up, back still to him. Crisis averted, he turns his attention back to what he's reading: the published copy of your thesis Hotch had emailed him last week.

***

September 2nd, 2009

"This is SSA ____, the newest member of our team. She’s recently graduated from the academy and has an excellent knowledge of linguistics that the bureau feels will be a great advantage to this team. She’s had her induction and now will be joining the team on a probationary basis. She’ll be spending a little time with each of you in between cases to make sure she forms well-rounded knowledge of all aspects of what we do.”

It’s a little overwhelming, having everybody’s eyes on you.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Emily is the first over, offering her hand for you to shake.

“You too, it’s really nice to meet all of you,” You say, shaking hands in turn with her, Morgan, Rossi, J.J, and Garcia.

“Hi,” Spencer calls from behind you.

You turn around to face him. You remember what Hotch had mentioned to you about him being a bit of a germaphobe, so you keep your hand by your side.

“Hi,” You say, “Dr. Reid, right?”

“You can call me Spencer,” He says, a little bashful, “I read your thesis, the study about you did about the construction of passive clauses as an indicator of guilt in adolescent offenders. It was fascinating.”

You feel yourself getting a little warm under his gaze, “Thank you. I'm surprised you’re even aware it existed.”

Hotch interrupts then, “Reid, do you want to sit with ____ while she goes over the case file? It’d be useful if you could go over how you’d go about constructing a linguistic profile.”

That’s how you end up spending much of your first day: with Spencer, huddled up over case files as he explains his profile-building process to you. Spencer’s an incredible teacher, you think. He explains his thought process without ever being condescending, leaving little gaps for you to answer.

You’re incredible, Spencer thinks. You seem to grasp exactly what he’s saying, filling in the gaps based on the clues that are actually in front of you, not letting yourself be guided too much by bias.

***

October 29th, 2009

Spencer loves everyone at the BAU. They’re all the family he never had, and he has relatively good friendships with all of them. Just, they aren’t quite the same as they are with you.

He struggles to put his finger on it, exactly. It’s a unique relationship. He shares very familial bonds with a lot of them: he and Morgan are brotherly, Rossi is fatherly, Garcia’s somewhat like an overexcited little sister.

The friendship he has with you is special. You always listen to him, even as he rambles on about inane things that anybody else would tell him to shut up about. In fact, sometimes about the exact things that they do tell him to shut up about. Just last week, he was rambling on about Star Trek when Morgan told him, not altogether unkindly, to “give it a rest, kid.”

“What was that you were saying?” You’d asked, sidling up to him, “I’ve never watched Star Trek but I thought the quote was beam me up Scotty.”

He’d looked at you, considering you for a moment, “You don’t have to-”

“I know. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know Spence. You think I’d ask for a 15 minute lecture on Star Trek if I wasn’t interested in it?”

A warm feeling flooded his chest. The look on your face was so genuine, and you’d perched on the edge of his desk as he gesticulated, getting deep into the lore and how the misconception had come about. He still didn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, until he got to the end of his spiel. And then you asked him a question. You asked him a question to make sure you understood what he was talking about. You were listening the whole time, and you genuinely cared about the point he was making.

It's then that he realises, it was hard to pinpoint because it wasn’t friendship. He likes you. Shit.

***

November 2nd, 2009

You like everybody at the BAU. They’re all quite patient with you, really, happy to walk you through how they do things. Morgan’s taught you quite a bit about the tactical side of things already, and Rossi has been working with you on your interrogation techniques. Emily’s generally just a great mentor, always happy to listen and support however she can. She’s more experienced, but still relatively new to the team too, so you feel like there’s a certain understanding between you.

However, you’d definitely be lying if you said the person you hadn’t learnt the most from, or spent the most time with, was Spencer.

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the team, either. You seemed to gravitate towards one another, forever sitting side-by-side on the plane. Sharing a line of thinking that usually led to devolved rambling, and scribbling, until you came up with something coherent.

It isn’t until November 2nd that you realise you have feelings for him.

You’re sitting at your desk, filling out a case report that Emily had promised to go over with you before she left for lunch.

“Hey,” Spencer’s familiar soothing voice comes, as he sidles up to you, “I got you something.”

Looking up, you notice the coffee cup in his right hand, “You are my caffeine lifesaver.”

He hands it to you, smiling a little nervously, “It’s actually not that.”

“Oh?”

His other hand is tucked behind his back, and he pulls it foward towards you, brandishing a red sweatshirt.

“I know you uh, left your red sweater behind at the hotel on the last case. And I know it was your favourite one, and I was shopping yesterday and I saw this and...” He trails off, embarassed, “It’s not the exact same, but it’s the same kind. I just thought you might like it.”

You swallow, hard, “Spencer that’s so sweet. C-Can I hug you?”

He nods. Standing up from your desk, you wrap your arms around his frame.

“That was so thoughtful.”

He squeezes you a little, really leaning into the hug, his face pressing against your shoulder. His tousled hair tickles your nose a little and you smile, clinging onto him, relishing in the feeling of safety and warmth.

It hits you then. When you realise you don’t want to let go. When you realise he makes you feel fuzzy. Loved. Cared for in a way you haven’t felt in a long time. Eventually, you have to let him go, and it’s in a daze that you return to your desk. You’re so concentrated on your overwhelming realisation, you don’t realise how reluctant he is to let you leave his embrace.

***

December 22nd, 2009

Driving Spencer home from the office was really just an excuse to get some time alone with him. You’d said something about the Metro being busy, one of the services being cancelled. He hadn’t factchecked you on that.

The BAU had tentative plans for boxing day, with the caveat being that no emergent cases arrived in the meantime. It was only really four days you wouldn’t see him, but that was longer than you’d ever gone without seeing him in all the time you’d known him. You worked together everyday, and it was unusual for you to go a full weekend without seeing each other. Recently, you’d got into the habit of going out for Sunday brunch together.

Pulling up outside his house, you hear him sigh.

“I know it’s only four days, but I’ll miss you.”

Smiling, you turn to him, “I’ll miss you too.” 

Something in you changes then. He’s looking at you. You may be relatively new to profiling but you can see something behind his eyes, feel the charge of unsaid words electrifying the air.

“Can I hug you?” He asks.

“You can always hug me,” You reply, undoing your seatbelt and opening your arms for him.

He embraces you the way he always has: tightly. Like he doesn’t want to let go, couldn’t imagine ever letting you go. His face nuzzles to the crook of your neck, and then you feel his thumb brush your chin. Tilting your head down.

You exchange a look. His eyes flicker from your eyes, to your lips, and back. You nod your head, just slightly.

He kisses you then. Tender. You melt into one another, lips moving quickly as you drink one another in. Kissing each other breathless, your fingers intertwine in his hair and his hand comes up to cup your cheek. Nothing has ever felt so right.

***

June 10th, 2011

Neither of you have ever really believed in fate. It’s hard to - especially in your line of work - to want to interpret the workings of the universe as deliberate. Maybe you’d think a little differently though, if you knew about all the near-misses. All the times you could have met. But fate knew better. She waited until you were ready.

And as you exchange vows, promising each other your forever, you both know you couldn’t possibly deny that this was meant to be.

------

Taglists: @takeyourleap-of-faith @sassiest-politician

(let me know if you would like to be added to/removed from this list!)

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #imagine spencer reid #criminal minds x you #imagine criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagines #pls like this it took me so long

[ceterisparibus116]

Hey, I saw that ask where you mentioned the inaccuracies of human trafficking in season 1. I'd love to get the details on that if you want to share. (Also I loved your ideas for scenes that never happened, especially the torture bit. I completely forgot Matt didn't tell them, and I am just dying to know how Foggy and Karen would react to that one now)

Daredevil and Human Trafficking:

Oh, boy. First, thank you so much for this ask. This is such, such, such an important topic.

(Why is it important? And why is it important enough to justify a, yikes, over 4k-word essay on the subject? Because media, such as shows like Daredevil and movies like Taken and Black Widow affect culture. And culture affects how real people evaluate other real people. We’re talking about lawmakers, juries, cops, even just good Samaritans in the next hotel room. Unless these people are formally educated on the subject, their assumptions will be based on media. And that can be very, very bad.)

WARNINGS ABOUND. I will be talking about sex trafficking, sexual abuse, domestic violence, and sex work, as well as briefly touching on police, deportation, pornography, racism, and transphobia.

(Also, disclaimer: I’m talking primarily about sex trafficking. Other kinds of human trafficking, especially labor trafficking, are also very real and very dangerous. That’s just not my area of expertise.)

I’m probably going to say some unpopular things, so let me start with my credentials. Not that my credentials make me automatically correct, but I hope you (general “you”) take the time to consider those credentials before discounting something I say that you may not like. I’ve been researching the problem of sex trafficking for 7 years at this point, all through college, my master’s degree, and law school. I wrote every paper I could on human trafficking (much to the confusion of some of my professors, I’m sure). I wrote my master’s thesis (which my advisor nominated for the Best Thesis Award at my school) on international human trafficking. I continued to research the problem in law school, where I also sought out internships and volunteer experiences that would prepare me for my goal of fighting human trafficking with a J.D. These experiences include internships with prosecutorial agencies at both the state and federal level, walking the streets at 3a.m. to talk with sex workers, being on-scene at anti-trafficking “stings,” responding to a call for help from a trafficking victim, and volunteering at an anti-trafficking program designed to provide a safe space and educational opportunities to minor survivors of trafficking—girls aged about 14-18 who have already experienced the unthinkable. I’ve also interviewed judges, psychologists, prosecutors, and researchers on this subject. Finally, if I could pick one thing in my life I’m most proud of, it would be writing a bill to extend the statute of limitations for sex trafficking offenses in my state, and then testifying at two hearings in support of the bill, which ultimately passed – praise God! So my analysis in the following points is based on this mix of research and personal experience.

Also, let me clarify: I don’t have any issue with how trafficking was handled in Season 1, Episode 2 of Daredevil. Actually, what happened on-screen was kidnapping; we only know it could be trafficking based on what we know about the Ranskahovs’ business. But the reason I give it a pass is because the Ranskahovs’ primary motive wasn’t actually exploiting the kid they kidnapped for profit; instead, it was getting Matt’s attention and leading him into an ambush. They would necessarily want to make a lot of noise for that to be successful, hence physically ripping the kid away from his father and stuffing him in a van in the middle of a street.

My issue is with Season 1, Episode 1, where we see Turk and some of his men forcing young women into some kind of shipping container. They have a taser to keep the young women in line. The young women are screaming—they clearly do not want to be there.

And that’s the #1 issue. Although human trafficking can be perpetuated by violence, it is far more effective when it is perpetuated by psychological manipulation.

The thing is, people (and media like Daredevil, Taken, and Black Widow) conceptualize trafficking as basically akin to kidnapping. But the truth is, trafficking has far more in common with domestic violence, where someone is abused by a person whom they love and on whom they are, in many ways, dependent. If all you know how to do is see the red flags for kidnapping, you’ll miss the red flags for domestic violence – and you’ll miss the red flags for trafficking. Please keep this framework (kidnapping vs domestic violence) in mind as you read through the rest of this essay.

Let’s start by talking about when perpetration by violence actually works: that’s international trafficking. You, the trafficking victim, are yanked off the streets or out of your home (or out of an orphanage, which are targets for traffickers because they expect no one to come looking for you), knocked out or drugged up, and shipped to another country where you don’t speak the language, don’t know the customs, and don’t know if you can trust the police (and, in fact, are continually told by your trafficker that you can’t trust police because they'll arrest you or deport you or worse). You have no passport, no papers, no money, no connections, nothing. In this circumstance, your trafficker can do whatever he wants to you, including violence, to keep you cowering in fear, and there’s nothing you can do. You’ll fear him, you’ll hate him, but you have no way to fight back and nowhere to run. So…it works.

But what about when it’s not international? What about when you live in, say, Connecticut, and someone kidnaps you and takes you to New York? If this guy uses violence against you, you might very well be too afraid to fight back or run away. But if he takes his eyes off you, what’s stopping you from reaching out to someone who looks friendly to ask to borrow a phone so you can call the police or a friend or family member? Nothing. After all, you hate this guy, and you know exactly what he is: your abuser from whom you want to escape. Now, maybe this guy has threatened to release compromising pictures/videos of you (that’s incredibly common), and maybe he’s threatened to hurt someone you care about, and maybe that’ll be enough to keep you in line…but maybe not. At any moment, you might decide it’s worth the risk to reach out for help. And because you know the language and the culture, you are entirely capable of doing that.

Are you starting to see why trafficking by violence isn’t really the best approach? It’s not even the approach favored by traffickers. That’s because it’s much harder to force people do things against their will 24/7 than it is to convince someone that they want to do what you want.

There are terms for this in the trafficking world. Gorilla pimps are those who use force and violence to get their way. Romeo pimps use psychological manipulation to keep victims under their control. It should be no surprise that gorilla pimps are far less effective than Romeo pimps. In Daredevil, the Ranskahov brothers are clearly gorilla pimps.

(Oh, and forget the idea that travel is required. Trafficking of an adult requires exploitation for profit by means of force, fraud, or coercion. Trafficking of a minor simply requires exploitation for profit. Trafficking can occur internationally or in a single family’s basement.)

Now you might be saying: hang on, Ceterisparibus, you just said gorilla pimps exist, so how can you say the trafficking in Daredevil is inaccurate? Well, maybe it’s not 100% inaccurate (although I do maintain that the Russians appear to be quite effective at their trafficking until Matt messes things up for them, and that strikes me as unrealistic given how much more difficult it is to pull off a successful trafficking operation as gorilla pimps), but Daredevil certainly feeds into the inaccurate misconception that trafficking is perpetuated primarily through violence. (Again: kidnapping vs domestic violence.)

Now you might ask: so what, Ceterisparibus? Why do we care?

We care (or should care) because this misconception is actually incredibly dangerous.

It’s dangerous to every person who is a potential victim of trafficking because people need to know what to be afraid of when it comes to trafficking. People need to know that it’s not the guy in a white van you need to be afraid of; it’s the cute guy following you on Instagram or commenting on your tiktoks and sliding into your dms. It’s the cute guy hanging around at your local middle school and high school even though you’re not sure he actually goes there.

It’s the guy who wants to be your boyfriend and tells you how much he loves you and how special you are and buys you all sorts of stuff and he’s the first person in your life to ever treat you this way and you tell yourself you don’t really care that he filmed you two having sex, but then he holds that video over your head when you say you don’t really want to sleep with his friends (especially because some of them are old and this is getting really weird and creepy), and you love him too much to leave him so you go along with it, and at some point he adds drugs to the mix and now you’re not sober enough to even realize what’s happening anymore, and eventually you end up in another state and you’re too embarrassed to ask anyone for help, and besides, you love this guy, don’t you?

This misconception is also dangerous to current victims of trafficking, because they may not realize they’re being trafficked. When they think of human traffickers, they think of guys who’ll put a gun to your head and chain you up. And while that does happen, it really does, the smart traffickers don’t do that kind of thing until after you, their victim, are convinced you love them, such that you’ll make excuses for literally anything they do. (Like domestic violence victims who blame themselves for the abuse they experience, you’ll say, “It’s my fault he had to chain me up. If I were a better wife/girlfriend/slut, he wouldn’t have to put a gun to my head.”) (If you want to know more about how a person can actually continue to love someone who abuses them, research trauma bonds.) If your only conception of trafficking is through violence, you won’t believe yourself to be a victim. You won’t realize you need help.

This misconception is also a problem for all the people who might otherwise want to help. People at the store who get a sense something’s wrong. Hotel and motel staff who are suspicious. Police. But without training to the contrary, all of these people will get their knowledge off media like Daredevil, Taken, and Black Widow, and talk themselves out of seeing anything wrong. “She doesn’t look distressed,” they’ll say. “She looks like she’s consented. This is weird, but it’s fine. Who am I to judge?” And people who would otherwise want to help will look the other way.

This misconception is also dangerous because of how it impacts johns. Johns are those (men, usually) who buy sex from prostitutes. Most johns aren’t psychopaths; most of them are lonely guys with low self-esteem. Many of them are not turned on by the thought of having sex with someone unwilling – that’s why a huge part of being a successful sex worker is acting like you’re into the guy (even when you’re not). But johns assume, just like everyone else, that if a woman appears to be consenting, she is. They assume that they know what sex trafficking looks like. And they assume that a woman walking around in a hotel room, apparently free to leave, no pimp or chains or anything in sight, a woman who takes his money and doesn’t immediately hand it over to some other guy, that this woman couldn’t possibly be a trafficking victim. And so johns are free to pay for sex without any moral quandaries slowing them down.

Why does this matter? Because sex trafficking is a business. In fact, it’s the fastest-growing organized criminal activity in the world. Some pimps are in it for the psychopathic thrill, but most are in it for the cash. And if johns stop paying, or pay less, because they’re uneasy about the situation, that’s bad for business. But if johns are happily convinced that this sex trafficking victim is really just a consenting sex worker, they’ll keep forking money over to the pimps, and the trafficking industry will keep growing. (This is also why, frankly, I find jokes like “If I can’t pay for my college textbooks, I’ll just sell my body for a few nights” disgusting. They make it that much easier for johns to say, “Hey, I didn’t know she was a fifteen-year-old sex slave, don’t all girls sell themselves for a couple bucks?”)

(I am NOT saying we should shame anyone who does sell sex for a couple bucks. I am just saying we shouldn’t create a culture that never challenges men to consider whether someone selling sex is doing so of their own free (truly free) will.)

This misconception is also dangerous because it leads to prosecutors who have no idea what to do with victim-witnesses who don’t want to testify. Prosecutors expect trafficking victims to be like kidnapping victims, not domestic violence victims. In some respects, domestic violence prosecutors would be far better at handling trafficking cases because they know how to handle witnesses who have bonded with the perpetrator. But trafficking prosecutors might be completely bewildered (or even angered) by a trafficking victim who doesn’t want to testify, or who recants. I know some stories of prosecutors trying to essentially force victims to testify, such as through material witness holds or by charging victims with smaller crimes and securing their testimony as part of a plea deal. I hope I don’t have to explain how traumatic this is for a survivor of trafficking.

And while we’re talking about the legal system, what about jurors? When most jurors’ knowledge of trafficking also comes from media like Daredevil, Taken, and Black Widow, prosecutors now have to take time to try to explain how trauma bonds work, what the cycle of abuse is, and how all of this can lead victims to truly believe they’re in love with their perpetrator. Otherwise, jurors will ask the questions we’re all sick of seeing every time there’s a sexual assault case in the news: “Why didn’t she fight back? Why didn’t she run away? Why didn’t she ask for help?” plus additional questions: “Why did she recant? Why isn’t she testifying?” or even “Why is she testifying for him?”

And we’re STILL NOT DONE! There’s another horrible problem with this misconception: bad laws. Really, really bad laws. An obvious one is the statute of limitations. The statute of limitations is the time limit that prosecutors have to file charges. If they file charges outside the statute of limitations, the case simply can’t go forward. But what has to happen before the prosecutor can file charges? Someone has to report it. Usually, that’s the victim.

In the wake of the #MeToo Movement, states across the United States have been extending the statute of limitations for sexual assault, recognizing that even one single sexual assault can be so traumatic that it takes years, even decades, to ever be reported. That’s fantastic! But consider this: by definition, sex trafficking is repeated sexual assaults perpetuated against you under the direction of someone you think you love and trust. Every factor that makes sexual assault difficult to report is true of sex trafficking victims, and then some. Because this isn’t a stranger. This is someone you know. This is someone who knows you. This is someone who could go after your friends and family (or your children) if you report them. This is someone who has spent countless hours meticulously and methodically cementing your dependence on them and attachment to them. (Oh, and by the way? Part of that manipulation includes, as I alluded to before, instilling in trafficking victims a fear of police. Guess who those trafficking victims need to talk to if they want to report their case? Police.) And yet when legislators think of trafficking as being primarily about violence rather than psychological manipulation, they see no problem with only giving trafficking survivors only a couple years to come forward. Which means cases don’t get prosecuted and victims continue to get hurt.

Another bad law (or, rather, a woefully incomplete law) is the safe harbor law. Safe harbor laws are those that shield minors from prosecution for prostitution. Otherwise, in every state where prostitution is a crime, a teenagers can be criminally prosecuted. Safe harbor laws are great because that means minors don’t end up in juvenile detention or worse. However, they’re incomplete, because safe harbor laws assume that once minors are “freed” from their trafficker, they’ll eagerly go back home to their family and go back to school, the same way a freed kidnapping victim would. But the reality is, most minors go straight back to their traffickers. (In most cases, this is also because the minors have no home to go to. At least, no safe home. That’s another issue.) Because these laws don’t understand the psychological realities of sex trafficking, they essentially create a revolving door where minors are churned through the system and then released back to the same situation from which they were supposedly “rescued.” (Note: safe harbor laws usually involve a provision of therapy and other resources for the minors. But the minors don’t want it. Why would they? They’re happy with their life of abuse. They love their abuser. They don’t need therapy or any of that. And so the minors just…ignore those resources.)

This misconception is also dangerous because anti-trafficking organizations fail to understand what recovery looks like. They think it’s enough to barge into brothels and basically kidnap people—which is awful and retraumatizing and NO. Or even if they don’t do that, even if they use less extreme methods of “rescue,” they still don’t understand why trafficking victims (now called survivors) are, frankly, hard to work with. Most trafficking victims come from broken homes. They come from trauma. Many are runaways. All of this leads to criminogenic thinking. These individuals are in survival mode. They’re not going to just sit down and attend therapy and do homework and get jobs and stop doing drugs and stop stealing things and stop getting into fights and stop trying to call their pimps/boyfriends or do anything else you tell them. In fact, they’re probably going to run away.

(Some anti-trafficking organizations actually have policies that once a victim-survivor runs away, they can’t come back. That’s how big the disconnect is between what these groups expect of trafficking and what they actually get when they engage with it in the real world.)

(And look, I’m religious. My Christian faith is the most important thing about me. And one of the organizations I’ve volunteered with, the one for minor survivors, was actually run by my church. It’s an amazing program, providing trauma-informed care and run in coordination with ministries for foster families and people experiencing homelessness. But so, so many religious organizations are more interested in playing heroes or earning clout than actually doing the hard work of trauma-informed care, and so they run worthless programs or programs that actually make things worse—all because they don’t understand the real psychological impact of sex trafficking.)

Whew. I hope that explains why the fact that Daredevil chose to prevent a kidnapping-esque version of trafficking was such a bad call. (Especially since, because Matt’s a lawyer, they have the PERFECT opportunity to explore the nuances of trafficking post-“rescue” if Matt were to represent any of the survivors! That would’ve been so good!)

Anyway.

Now it’s time for me to lose followers (if I haven’t already). We need to talk about sex work. Because the misconception about what trafficking actually involves would not be so harmful if societies didn’t take the consent of those who appear to be legitimate sex workers for granted.

Let me be absolutely clear: sex work is NOT sex trafficking. I wholly support legitimate sex work between two consenting adults. I do not support a culture that stigmatizes and shames sex workers.

But in my humble yet vehement opinion, any conversation about the pros of sex work is irresponsibly incomplete if it ignores the way sex trafficking masks itself as sex work.

Remember: many sex trafficking victims do not know they’re victims. They think they’re consenting. In other words, sex trafficking victims think they’re legitimate sex workers. And johns think they’re legitimate sex workers. And all the people who would normally want to help also think they’re legitimate sex workers. And traffickers love this—because it lets them fly under the radar.

It especially lets them fly under the radar with KIDS. Because if you’re selling kids for sex, where would you rather go: to the country where everyone is looking closely at the sex industry, or to a country where the sex industry is just like any other business, and no one looks twice unless something is seriously and obviously wrong?

I don’t want people to look twice at sex workers in terms of their purity or morality or whatever else, but I do want people to look twice at sex workers in terms of their consent. And so I think we need to have critical discussions about the idea of consent in sex work.

And this looking-twice-at-the-issue-of-consent thing isn’t just for the benefit of sex trafficking victims under the control of a pimp, by the way. This is also for the benefit of sex workers who escaped sex trafficking but remain in the sex industry.

See, most trafficking victims experienced abuse as children. If you are a trafficking victim, abuse is normal for you. Your abuser told you that sex (or more accurately rape) was all you were good for. And you believed them. Then, eventually, someone came along and offered to pay you for it. And you think, “Holy shit, I can make money doing this? They won’t just take it?” So even though you’re only thirteen or fourteen years old, you agree. You start selling sex. And you’re making way more money than your friends at their babysitting jobs. You drop out of school because frankly it’s a waste of time and those other students don’t understand you and many of them call you names, and you’d rather keep spending the money you’re getting and using the drugs you’ve been introduced to and selling sex, and maybe moving in with some of these guys.

At this point, most civilized people would clearly see that you are not a sex worker. You’re a child. In the United States, you legally can’t consent. You need help.

But what happens when you turn eighteen? Nothing has changed, except now you’re magically an adult based on an arbitrary number. And so now you’re a legitimate “sex worker” because you can legally consent. But is it real consent? Is it?

My personal opinion is that it’s not true consent unless someone has:

a) experienced at least some healing from the abuse they endured as a child, and b) made the decision to continue selling sex from a position of empowerment.

But are sex workers who have escaped sex trafficking empowered? Usually, no. Here’s why. For one, they probably don’t have a high school degree. Nor do they have work experience. Instead, they have a criminal record. (Did I mention traffickers often force their victims to engage in other criminal activity, like theft? Oh, yeah. And good luck getting scholarships to college with a criminal record.) They probably have horrible credit (because traffickers will abuse their credit too). They might have a kid or kids they have to take care of, and no money for childcare which would allow them to gain other skills or education. Plus, they’re addicted to various substances, suffering from PTSD to rival a combat veteran’s, and cut off from those they used to consider friends or family (if indeed they ever had any). So even if they are finally working on their own in the sex industry, not forced into anything by a trafficker, what other options do they have but to continue in sex work? And even if they say they chose this life…did they?

For the record, I’ve seen it: the moment when a young girl or young woman realizes, maybe for the first time since she was a toddler, that she can have her own dream. She can study medicine or engineering or science. She can be a teacher or an actor. She can have a life that’s hers, not the life she’s been forced into. Words can’t express how beautiful that moment is. But this was only possible after she first recognized that her life as a sex worker was not one she’d chosen.

Again, that isn’t to say we should criminalize, mock, or condemn any sex worker or sex trafficking victim—ever. Ever. Can I say that enough? Ever. But again: a responsible and informed discussion of sex work must take into account the connection between sex work and sex trafficking, as well as the personal experiences of individual sex workers that may have pushed them into this line of work when they really had other dreams they would’ve wanted to pursue.

Okay. Now that I’ve lost half my followers, let me add another point: a misconception that both Daredevil and Taken perpetuate is that the majority of trafficking victims are little cis white girls. That's just not true. They're Black and Brown (which at least Black Widow seems to get right). Additionally, trans kids are statistically more likely than their peers to become victims of trafficking. Culturally, we need to be aware of this in order to better identity victims of trafficking. If people subconsciously expect victims to be little cis white girls, they'll miss others in need of help.

With all that being said, let me thank you again for this ask and the chance to expound on this. If anyone has more questions or wants links to books and articles and notes, please feel free to shoot me another ask.

I also have a fic that’s exploring this issue by paralleling the Black Widows’ experiences, and I just posted a new chapter, so please check that if you’re interested. Alternatively, if you want a study of sexual abuse perpetuated by Catholic priests, you can read my fic Trust: Handle With Care. I mention it here because the long-lasting impact of sexual abuse in a trusted relationship is similar to what trafficking victim-survivors experience.

And with that, I’ll sign out for now.

#human trafficking #sex trafficking #tw human trafficking #tw sex trafficking #cw human trafficking #cw sex trafficking #daredevil #black widow #taken #personal #long post #asks #ask me things i'm friendly

[hartmannyoukaigirl]

i for one would love to hear about the danganronpa yaoi discourse if u wanna talk about it ♥️ i literally just hold ppl hostage and talk about my scrunkly-s because i have no shame but if you have a thought about your danganblorbos then i wouldn't call you cringe

my tumblr oomfie awwww 😭😭 geniunely, thank you .. ❤️❤️ the first line is so funny but this is an amazing ask to get <3 The danganronpa yaoi discourse ...

I don't have as many danganblorbo thoughts anymore because ... after 4 years of obsession 😰 but lately the danganblorbo have been reviving and re manifesting in my brain for whatever reason .. dead parasites... cockroaches ... so I'll let them out this once because you are nice

( I am very sorry for the incoming cringe )

you see, it's not really discourse as much as I just kind of have been obsessing over kamukoma for 4 years now and geniunely think it's the best ship in everything ever, and

because I really love them so much, both individually as characters and as a ship I get

annoyed

when someone calls them edgy komahina or even worse kinky komahina. No this actually made me insane back in my peak mental illness ( my high of dr phase ) like.. the implications are there I guess, esp w servant but it seems like people forgot they could have a relationship unique to them and not as hajime and not-despair komaeda's selves.. or a 'bdsm' verison of komahina ... mid opinions smfh

I feel like . I feel . ok . ok. imagine there's a second read more here holy shit but ! komahina is your typical romance I guess which unfortunately I never like. ever. but with kamukoma they definitely are edgy n dark but in a way unique to them ( throughout all other ships I got into and saw after them, too, they were always special ) and I really like the facts of two heavy fucked up ppl literally only being able to find comfort in each other .. it's a bit fun .. kamukura's the only person that komaeda could get close to without his luck ruining everything up ( flashbacks to that super homosexual anime scene of them both that started all of this. help. KAMUKURA WHY ARE YOU FLIRTINGHJWJ ) and for a terminally bored person like kamukura, komaeda is literal perfect everything dude is fucked up to the max esp as servant, not so predictable now is he ..ehehehee...

if you had send me that ask two years prior I would've written an entire college thesis, unfortunately due to unironic bullying over how cringe I was over this specific stuff I stopped and became too embarrassed to even look at any mention of komaeda or kamukura or kamukoma or anything jksnnffsmnfgnt d so my brain has became more .. tame ... I got less mentally ill and healed and became not delusional 😭😭😭 I BECAME BORING

I had an entire ( mental ) playlist of songs and a ( mental ) folder of animatics and so, so, so much.. actual mental illness... I Deadass never felt as obsessed I was over them with anything else again wtf

tdlr: they are very fun and cute. they are definitely together at udg timeline. kamukura would bridal carry komaeda. servant komaeda would twirl his hair giggle pace his legs back n forth thinking abt kamukura. cute dark romance edgy as fuck yaoi boys. adorable. they r everything. MEANWHILE KOMAHINA IS MID AS FUCK

#fun fact i took the entire day writing this #i didnt even write much but somehow its 7 pm & i saw this at 12 pm aka when i woke up and immediately opened the ask to reply .. #this went everywhere i am sorry #i never have a chance to talk abt them like this dmgnebgbt thank u ... ❤️ #idk what i was trying to communicate here it's just words #crying bc i couldve went deeper n wrote sm but the thoughts have left me ...

[blushanteros]

i would like to talk about my ships on here but i just. cant be normal about them. like i need at least 3-5 business days to even start explaining my reasoning behind my ships and i have to write an entire college thesis on my individual takes on the characters and their ships dynamics. i also need ample time to talk about why everyone else is wrong about the ships i like, like im the only one who's right about juice bar regulars none of u GET IT. and like i need like a full presentation point on why adventurer and clover are my comfort ship. "oh cinna but i thought u said adventurer cookie was a lesbian" im sorry but in what universe is clover cookie a man(/hj but also no im not)oh and dont even get me STARTED on the ancient cookies oh my LORD

#i dont know okay but i might actually make that presentation point #im the only person who's right about cookie run #/j #cookie run #rambling #ig that's a new tag im using

[saranghanuuu]

10 SIMILARITIES ALL INSTALLMENTS OF REPLY SERIES (Reply 1997, Reply 1994, Reply 1988) HAVE

1. Ze temperamental female lead & ze mighty and genius male lead who can tolerate her

2. Parents who are in a love-hate relationship, but care for their family more than anything

3. There should be at least one doctor in the circle

4. And at least one friend with celebrity-like fame who has a huge crush on our female lead

5. The crackhead friend in the group

6. The oh so perfect second male lead you would care less even if the female lead ends up with him

7. Relationships on the side as thrilling as our main ship

8. Answering the confession with a kiss - do it with your bodyyy

9. Unparalleled friendship we are all jealous of

10. Idol actors whom we are thankful of for bringing their wonderful characters to life

After all these years, I finally finished watching the Reply series. This is the best Korean anthology series I watched ever! I know, I know I'm so behind the fun.

So, why didn't I watch them while ongoing?

Reply 1997 aired when I was on my senior year in college and Reply 1994 when I just graduated and is transitioning into being an officially unemployed kid. Talk about the dreadful college stuffs like thesis, exams, pre and post-graduation stress, quarter-life crisis, etc. - YOU NAME IT.

I was still a newb in watching ongoing Kdramas during the time when Reply 1988 was aired. I can only watch one ongoing Kdrama at a time back then.

And why did I decide to watch it recently?

Blame the main contributory factor – i.e., Hospital Playlist. I've been kinda obssessed with it 'coz it's so heartwarming that it helped me with my anxiety attacks. I reckoned I should watch dramas with the same theme for now instead of complicated ones. After I discovered that the writer and director of Hospital Playlist are the same ones who brought the Reply series, that's when I knew I should watch them.

I found Reply series informative, too, that I'm amazed on how well-researched these dramas are.

If you want to know about the extreme fan culture during that time when 1st Gen Idols ruled South Korea, watch Reply 1997. I actually became a fan of SECHSKIES after watching it (sorry Si Won!)

If you want to be informed of some of the historically and culturally significant events that happened in South Korea during 1994 and succeeding years, watch Reply 1994.

If you want to have a glimpse of the familial and filial bond in South Korea during the late 80s, watch Reply 1988.

In what sequence did I watch them?

Reply 1988 > Reply 1994 > Reply 1997. I recommend this too in case you haven't watched anything just yet.

Since I've already watched the three installments, the big question is — which among them is my favorite?

This is an easy question for me. I became fond of them all, of course. But I can say that among the three Reply installments, Reply 1994 holds a special place in my heart.

Perhaps Si Won and Yoon Jae's push and pull relationship (imagine it took them 12 episodes to finally confirm their feelings) and Duk Seon and Jung Hwan not ending up together affected my choice. But that's not all there is to it.

Unlike Reply 1997 and Reply 1988, Reply 1994 characters were in a college setting – that phase in their lives where only the fittest survives – even getting out of the comfort of their own families and living together with strangers in a boarding house. I adored how the characters maturely dealt with the challenges and problems in life, finding solace in each other during difficult times. Watching Reply 1994 is like reality hitting me hard. It is true that we enjoy being with friends, but we must do it whilst being responsible and accountable for our future.

Reply 1994 has the best OSTs among the three as well (at least for me). The 6 main characters even had their fair share in singing OSTs for the drama and all of them are bop. I didn't know Go Ara can sing!

Also, they took the mystery of Na Jung's husband into a whole new level. It was produced in a way that would get the viewers thinking all main male characters can be the prospective husband, and as the episodes unfold, showing us why this particular character cannot. I guess it would have been far more exciting if I had the chance to watch it way back when this drama is still ongoing. I prolly get all giddy in anticipation as to who ends up with Na Jung.

And... sorry as this is a bit of a SPOILER. Honestly, I shipped Na Jung with Chilbong. Up to the last few eps, I hoped she ends up with him. While I am upset that Duk Seon and Jung Hwan's ship didn't sail, that was not the case after I knew who Na Jung's husband is. The scenes before the reveal were so emotionally detailed. I very much understood and wholeheartedly accepted at once why Chilbong is and cannot be the one. Luckily enough, all main characters of Reply 1994 had a romantically happy ending.

Reply series officially made it into my Kdrama treasure trove. Why not? This series is indeed a gem.

#reply 1988 #reply 1994 #reply 1997 #seo in guk #jung eunji #go ara #jung woo #park bo gum #lee hyeri #kdrama #korean drama #too much dramas #romance #tvn #family #friendship #hoya #shin so yul #eun jiwon #lee si eon #kim sung kyu #baro #min dohee #son ho jun #ryu jun yeol #go kyung pyo #lee dong hwi #sung dong il #lee il hwa #yoo yeon seok

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 11)

Chapter 11

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,054

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

tw: France, attempted murder, death, it’s a vampire story so...

               When Catalina and Jungkook came back to the rooms wrapped in towels, hand in hand, everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared.

               “Did you guys fuck in the hot tub?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

               “Jungkook! That is irresponsible and inappropriate!” Jin screeched.

               “We didn’t fuck in the hot tub!” Catalina yelled over the chaos, trying and failing to contain her laughter. “Everyone calm down.”

               “We were just about to do some slumber party activities,” said Taehyung. “I got us some popcorn from downstairs and I heard of a game called spin the bottle-“

               “Or we can just talk,” said Jimin. “I want to hear about you guys, since you’re immortal and all.”

               “And we can braid hair,” said Taehyung. Jimin giggled.

               “Well, we’re gonna go change first, then we can do whatever you want,” said Catalina.

               After changing into some warm clothes, everyone gathered into the room with the largest floor space and sat around wherever they could. Catalina was sat on the ground in front of Taehyung, who was braiding her hair. Jungkook sat beside her, close enough for their arms to brush every time they moved.

               “So, what happened out there?” asked Jimin. “Give us the deets. I know I said not to go find him, but it looks like it went well.”

               “It did go well,” said Catalina. “We made up.”

               “And made out,” said Jungkook. Catalina elbowed him, but he just laughed.

               “Yeah, we…” Catalina felt breathless again as she looked over at the boy making her heart flutter. “Yeah.”

               “I mean, I don’t think we need the deets,” said Jin.

               “Yeah, I’m more interested in you guys,” said Jimmy K, pointing to the four vampires. “You guys have been around a while. You must have plenty of stories.”

               “Sure! What do you wanna know?” Hoseok said with a shit eating grin on his face, leaning back on his hands. Namjoon, who was sitting beside him, swatted at him.

               “Oh please,” he said. “You’re practically a baby.”              

               “He’s right,” said Hoseok. “I was born in 1973. Turned in ’95. I’m still not used to the whole ‘no aging’ thing. Definitely not used to living with people who are literally hundreds of years old. That’s a trip.”

               “How did you get turned into a vampire?” Catalina asked him.

Hoseok completely ignored her, turning to Namjoon and saying, “Yeah, tell us your story.”

               “I-she…” Namjoon stuttered, pointing at Catalina. Then he sighed and said, “Well, I was turned when I was twenty-three. The year was 1580. I guess I should give some history. So, during those times, there was a lot happening in Europe to the vampire community, specifically in France. This was called The Great Hunt, but it definitely wasn’t great for a lot of people. The vampires living there at the time were being relentlessly hunted and killed, rounded up and tortured. It was a massacre, and it led to a lot of vampires leaving the country and travelling the world to get away from it. That’s how I met Pierre. He escaped the hunt and fled, ending up all the way in northern Korea. I lived in a seaside village, mostly working on the water. One day, I ended up in a swampy area of the shoreline and my boat got stuck. Then this ghostly man came out of the water and sat on a rock. I had never seen anyone like him in my life; he was unnaturally beautiful and pale. I ditched my boat and swam to him, I couldn’t even control myself. We talked for a while and he told me about where he came from and then he bit me. He was going to drain me if it weren’t for the search party arriving, looking for me. He ran away and my fellow fisherman took me back to the village. I was half dead, but his venom was already doing its work. The transformation was excruciating. It felt like my veins were on fire, my head felt like it was going to explode, my jaw ached like someone was prying my mouth open, and it went on like this for days. Finally, when it stopped and the pain went away, I had this uncontrollable thirst. I could hear people’s hearts beating. I could taste their heat, just by being near them. I ended up killing three people in my village before I was captured. They were going to behead me, but I was stronger and faster now, so I got away easily.

                “I was on the run for so long, but eventually, I made it out of the country. I ended up in Bangladesh-“

               “How?!” Jin interrupted. “That’s…that’s all the way across China!”

               Namjoon shrugged and said, “I was fast and I never got tired. I was able to feed off of people along the way, as long as I kept moving. Anyway, I ended up by the ocean, the Indian ocean, and I met another vampire there. She worked on a ship and offered me a job. She turned out to be a pirate, and the crew was a mix of vampires and humans, all working together. We sailed the sea, taking ships and feeding from their crews. It was dirty, living like that. And it wasn’t how I wanted to live my life, so I left them and lived in India for a few years. Then one day, I took a boat to America and built my house in the mountains, using the riches I had from my pirate years. From there, I spent my days studying and getting degrees, learning as much as I can about everything.”

               “That’s incredible,” said Catalina.

               “So cool. I can’t believe you were a pirate,” said Jungkook. “You just don’t seem like the type.”

               “It was mostly about the community,” said Namjoon. “A lot of vampires were drawn to piracy during those times because they felt safe together. We couldn’t engage in regular society because the French were still hunting us across Europe and even into India for a while. But on the water, no one could touch us. But you’re right, I wasn’t the type. I didn’t like the bloodshed and pillaging and the dirty lifestyle, so I left as soon as I felt it was safe to live in society again, which was right around the time the Renaissance period began.”

               “That’s when I met Adrianna,” Taehyung said quietly behind Catalina. He had finished the braid and was tying a hair tie at the end.

               “Who Adrianna?” asked Jimin.

               “The vampire who changed me,” he said. “Ah, she was incredible. I miss her every day still.”

               “She’s not around anymore?” Jimin asked.

               Taehyung shook his head. “When we moved to the United States, the town we lived in found out we were vampires and they were going to lynch us. I got away, but she didn’t.”

               Jimin crawled over to him and gave him a hug.

               “I’m so sorry,” he said.

               Taehyung pouted and said, “It’s okay. It gets easier over time, especially now that I’m making new friends and doing things again.”

               “How did you meet her?” Catalina asked.

               “She found me in Korea. She was travelling the world, avoiding the hunts in France and Europe, and she ended up there,” Taehyung began. “I was only about sixteen at the time. I was painting and doing calligraphy for the royal family, but most of my time was spent on my grandma’s farm. She raised me so I wanted to help her out as much as I could. Adrianna found our farm and we let her stay with us, since she seemed unwilling to go into the town. She didn’t speak Korean at the time and I didn’t speak French, so we couldn’t talk much. She taught me French, and once I got decent at it, I taught her Korean and we became close friends after that. She stayed with us on the farm for a few years, helping with the chores and everything, and teaching me different art styles. She was an incredible painter. I found out she was a vampire one day when I saw her sneaking out of the house at night, so I followed her. She went into the village and drank from someone, hypnotizing them so they couldn’t remember. I told her I would keep her secret.

               “After my grandma passed away, I sold the farm and Adrianna took me to France. The hunts had ended and people were becoming more interested in art and science. We lived well in France, staying in a big house and studying under great painters. I even got to see the grave of Alexandria the Annihilator.”

               Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimmy K all gasped.

               “No way,” said Namjoon.

               “What was it like?” asked Yoongi.

               “Was her sword really on display there?” asked Jimmy K.

               “How do you even know who she is?” asked Taehyung. Jimmy K just grinned. “Anyway, yes, her sword was there. It was so big! It even looked like there was old blood on the blade. It was in a glass case, resting on a bed of her real fur capes.”

               Namjoon and Yoongi both erupted into a chorus of “so cool”s and “I’m so jealous”s.

               “Okay wait,” Jimin interrupted. “Who is Alexandria the Annihilator?”

               “Yeah, she sounds awesome,” said Jungkook.

               “She was,” said Jimmy K. “I did my history thesis on her. She was a famous vampire who led the resistance in France against the church. She saved hundreds of vampires by hiding them and smuggling them out of the country, but she also killed thousands of humans. She was slain in the early 16th century, ending the resistance and the hunts for good. Her lineage still lives though; she supposedly had a daughter with a human man, but it was in the midst of the resistance, so her daughter was smuggled away, kept in hiding for a long time. No one knows if she was a human, or a vampire, or something in between, but she’s said to still be alive today.”

               “Anyway,” Taehyung continued. “Adrianna and I lived in France during the early 17th century, so almost a hundred years after all that bad stuff. We had a lot of fun together. I had a little dog during those years, Yeontan, and I got to learn all about vampire history and culture. I wanted to be a part of it, and I wanted to be with Adrianna forever, so I kept asking her to turn me. She kept reminding me that immortality becomes a curse if you’re alive too long, and that I should wait to make a decision like that. We studied philosophy together, and I learned about life and death, and what our purpose was on this earth, I learned about critical thinking and how to form arguments. And when I was in my early twenties, I asked her again to turn me. I gave her a proper argument and everything. And she did.

               “And then, during the 1800s, we came to America and she…” Taehyung trailed off, his smile fading. “And then I was alone for a while. But then I travelled west, met Namjoon, and have been living here ever since.”

               “Were you and Adrianna lovers?” asked Catalina. Taehyung shook his head.

               “No. We loved each other dearly, but I was in love with her. I think she might have been gay though,” he said. “She liked to dress as a man when we travelled, she called herself ‘Adrien’ when she did. Or maybe she might have been trans. Well, either way, she wasn’t interested in men.”

               “She sounds like she was a very interesting person,” said Jimin.

               “She was,” Taehyung said with a small smile.

               Catalina then automatically turned her attention to Yoongi, hoping he’d share his story next. Apparently, everyone had the same idea, because when Yoongi looked up, he said, “Why are you all staring at me?”

               “Aren’t you going tell us your story next?” asked Jimmy K.

               “Oh, it’s really not that interesting,” Yoongi said with a wave of his hand. “I don’t even remember it.”

               “Oh, you’re so funny,” Hoseok said with a laugh. “He’s lying.”

               Yoongi let out a deep sigh and sunk into the couch he was on.

               “Where to start?” he asked. 

#bts #bts fanfction #knights of the night #crystalstar #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #Jimmy K #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jeongguk #namjoon #rm #jin #captain kirk #yoongi #suga #hobi #jhope #jimin #taehyung #v #jungkook #vampire au #history #inaccurate french history #tw

[radioactive-mouse]

how much i trust you based on your favorite yogscast character

xephos: you’re either a very tired mlm who feels a lot of things about the tekkit era or you’ve only watched yoglabs but somehow construct incredibly elaborate red string conspiracies. 6/10.

honeydew: okay we all love honeydew but if he’s your FAVORITE? i would take a bullet for you. you’re either very wholesome or you’re a little goblin. also you’re probably not cis. you really like shadow of israphel and will always be just a little bit bitter it never got a proper ending. 10/10.

lalna: you could probably write a thesis about why he is the way that he is and have an incredibly specific and elaborate timeline for how and when you think the lalna clones happened. you’re either very beholden to canon or you throw canon out the window to do whatever you want. you either write him as an incredibly complex and flawed but redeemable character, a sweet innocent cinnamon roll, or evil and fucked up with no remorse. either -5/10 or 15/10 with absolutely no inbetween.

sjin: you’ve (hopefully) completely reclaimed him from the irl man and taken him as your own. you either binged all of sipsco and think about it a lot or you watched the red matter incident and immediately decided that he was your favorite. 4/10 but don’t take it personally.

sips: your feelings on him are some mix of “sips is an asshole but for very specific reasons that you can read about in my 10k words character study” and “sips is such a bitch and i like him so much” but either way you probably really like sjips or if you’re real deep into the character analysis side you like sipsphos. 7/10 i think you’re hilarious.

rythian: i do not blame you. you really like his voice and every time he speaks swedish you lose your goddamn mind. you SOBBED over blackrock. you either like rythna or you’re not big on shipping and crave platonic content with him and zoey. you like Lore and Story and miss the rp days more than anyone else here. also you probably watch a lot of ttt now. 9/10.

zoey: i fucking love you. 1000/10.

nano: the flux buddies ending made you cry and you’re also probably not super big on shipping. you think lalna’s really fucking stupid and like him anyway. you remember too many dumb gags from flux buddies to the point where someone says something even slightly adjacent and the entire series flashes before your eyes. 11/10

strife: this is just the same thing as sips except you check the blood and chaos tag a thousand times a day because you’re so starved for content. you probably have college xephos and strife lore that you can never explain to anyone else and the brief bits of blood and chaos where strife is being silly or planting sunflowers make you emotional or incredibly happy. 8/10 please talk to me.

parvis: you’re gay and chaotic and probably some kind of alt. you’re either here for laughs and fluffy parvill or you’re kind of an edgelord and need to calm down. 6.5/10 i am afraid of you.

#THIS IS FOR JOKE PURPOSES PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS TOO SERIOUSLY #oh god tagging this is gonna be hell #yogscast #xephos #honeydew #lalna #lalna lividcoffee #lividcoffee #sips #sjin #rythian #rythian enderborn #zoeya #zoey proasheck #nanosounds #nano yogscast #william strife #will strife #acparvis #parvis #blood and chaos #flux buddies #blackrock #jay.txt

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep 34 S4: The Boys (and Mai) are Back in Town

OK, back to the writing table! It’s been a while! So I made the mistake of like...scrolling down on the playlist when I realized...

This duel is like 6 episodes long (7 even? It’s a lot) and like...yo I have no idea if we’ll finish this season in 2020! Damn you 2020. Damn you.

But wtv, what I like about this side project of mine is that I don’t have to rush things, and I can really spend the time with each episode and just...enjoy the moment. So often I watch a whole series in like half a week and then it’s like...I don’t get to enjoy it. This series I’ve enjoyed for years now. That’s kinda neat. So...we’re gonna be slow...but lets just enjoy this weird ass anime moment together. 2020 deadlines are all fake anyway. I’m not even sure if 2020 was a real thing that happened or like...an alternate universe opening a door and letting through just so many terrible ghosts. We might never know.

Last we left off, everyone has decided to hallucinate Dartz’ terrible backstory.

Unfortunately we have NO darts in the past. Was really hoping to see at least one darts reference in this entire season, just one darts board on his wall. But alas, we will not have a Season Zero death darts match with Dartz. (Man I need to get back to Season Zero. And FMA. And a lot of things)

I feel like if I watched the original version there would have been some things different. First off...what ocean? Second off...well, we’ll get to that. There’s some things I think were changed for English TV.

Including censoring the nude people like it’s James Cameron’s Avatar.

Fun fact did you know that James Cameron’s Avatar was supposed to be ass naked and that they were supposed to have like 8 cat nipples? Yeah.

Man, that movie was a mistake. I’m so glad we all decided to collectively forget James Cameron’s Avatar.

(read more under the cut)

The actual locations of anything in Atlantis does not match up with it when it’s zoomed out. We have giant cities, we have sprawling wheat fields, and we have...THIS situation. This active volcano next to...pine trees?

I feel like they wanted it to feel vaguely Pompeii, since I know people like to put Atlantis in the Mediterranean. Maybe? Maybe that’s what they were going for here?

One of my top ten favorite Yugioh plot twists ever was finding out this episode that this snake who has no limbs somehow created these...rocks...that all of our main characters have been wearing and obsessing over this entire time.

And so this is my theory, this is the thesis of my Yugioh college paper. These rocks are turds. There’s no way these rocks aren’t turds. There’s no way this snake didn’t poop out a bunch of glowy magic stones and then stuff them into a volcano.

THE ROCKS WERE TURDS THE WHOLE TIME.

God bless, Yugioh.

Seto spends this entire episode groveling that he isn’t playing cards that will absolutely kill him. Like Mokuba, Seto isn’t happy until he’s cheating death.

(I really wish we got more super past future tech. I love that type of concept art. Instead, we just got a lot of flying boats--the same boat that I think the team flew on in S1 when they went to Seto’s video game universe.

So those boats are 10,000 years old? They existed in the 10,000 year old Pangea, huh?

Neat.)

Anyway, lets take a gander at Princess Zelda circa Ocarina of Time.

SUPER princess Zelda, and I know it’s not 1:1 but damn it feels so much like a late 90′s Princess Zelda outfit to me. Check out that PURPLE. That low poly circlet. The random ass sword. The thick ass belt. 

Also check out this super dead family.

Yo so this is a 00′s thing, a period of time where we liked to tell stories like LOST, with just a bunch of random ass plot twists in flashbacks instead of just...telling a story from start to finish. And can be a great and fun way to do it--but at the sacrifice of actually making me care about these characters while they were still alive.

Like I would have maybe cared about Chris and Ironheart dying if I had known that Dartz was killing his whole family? With...lightning strikes? But alas, these dumbasses decided NOT to tell us they were royal. It’s so strange both from a logical perspective and a storytelling perspective.

Man...missed opportunity, IMO, but I can see why they did it. The wanted the ‘Gotcha!’ I feel ambivalent about it, honestly.

And who am I kidding, people are still doing unpredictable plot twists this. It’s a way to tell a story. Is it the most impactful way? No. It’s...it’s a gotcha!

It’s at this point in the story that things start ramping up, but it’s not clear if it takes place over years or just a couple hours. People just start going a little cray and turning into Monsters.

Straight up, though--did they turn into monsters that already existed and are modern Duel Monster cards, or are the monsters from modern Duel Monsters cards actually descendants of Atlantis who were once human?

They don’t say, actually. Maybe...maybe every card was a human once. That would be a freakin weird Yugioh twist if Kuriboh was like a 45 year old dude.

PS Dartz was married...soak that in.

ROMANCE ON YUGIOH ALERT.

Love it every time. She was there for like...half a second, and Dartz was like throwing so much shade about how “only the people with evil in their hearts were turned” and it’s like...

...dude that’s your wife? OK then. I can see you guys got along real well.

Anyway, so long to the ship of IonaxDartz, you were here for even less than the amount of time that Seto dated Blue Eyes White Dragon in a hallucination, which kind of sets a new record for us.

This might be the shortest-lived ship in all of Yugioh and they have a 12 year old daughter and what I assume was a 12 year marriage for that entire time.

that is if they...HAD the concept of marriage 10,000 years ago on Atlantis Pangea island. Maybe?

I mean they might have not had the concept of dating and marriage yet because he gets over this like immediately. The show will never hover back to that time Dartz watched his own wife turn into a creature. We have no idea if he was like “OK honey lets uh...let just get you a haircut and maybe no one will notice?” We have no idea how long he was desperately trying to remain married to the beast that was no longer human and was also trying to eat everyone else in his court. We just don’t know.

Dartz just had a lot of other things to think about. He’s been King for like...a year...he’s only 21...he’s just doing a bad job at everything.

(Biden opens Pres Trumps bedroom in the White House come January and it’s juts full of glowing green evil golf balls) (OK that was my last 2020 joke I swear to you) 

Anyway, Dad is here, but it’s a little too late to really do anything with the situation. Everyone is worshiping little snake turds. What can you really do about that?

One eye golden, the other eye, the color of a glistening Leviathan turd.

After the rest of the surviving royal family was chased out of the castle, Dartz decides to just wave his hands around a lot.

I’m not entirely sure what Kings do...never really had one...but I think they’re supposed to do more than wave their hands at a crowd like the Pope. Like...everyone’s dead right? Like everyone?

Who’s he talking to?

Meanwhile, Chris and Ironheart decide to revive some monster tablets to get some real actual duel monsters to do their bidding.

So apparently some monsters are in the tablets, and other’s have just always been here...and...

They didn’t know violence but they did have the cards?

There’s a lot of vague stuff they didn’t feel like ever writing, because it would have probably been boring to write about. I guess we’ll just let our imagination fill in the rest and ignore all the inconsistencies. It’s a kid’s anime. well........kind of a kid’s anime. A lot of people have died this episode and I don’t even know how to add it to the death count.

How many people live in Atlantis? I dunno.

Are the inhabitants of Atlantis even dead, or are they just turned into Monster cards? I dunno. Clearly the Great Leviathan wasn’t awoken this first battle so...did all those souls get returned? I dunno.

Either way I’m not gonna bother the death count about it because I just do not know if they died, and since it was neither an implied death or an on screen death...I dunno.

Just feels like a bit of a translation snafu--where maybe they couldn’t kill that many people on English TV, so they were like “AND IT’S A DRAW!” but also...it could be canon to both versions. The leviathan didn’t work the first time, maybe no one died? I dunno.

In this shot, PS, Raphael just gently backs up out of this flying plane, and it looked really funny to me. I probs won’t cap it because it’s split between two other cuts, but just...they just kind of moved that sprite to the right really slowly, no animation, it was great.

Dartz decides to end the backstory hallucination, and we get introduced to a new twist--a better twist than that last one, that’s right, all our boys are cards!

Including this asshole!

Been a while since our boys have been cards! Man, I miss Bakura!

Yes, I looked back to earlier episodes this season to see what was going on with Pegasus’ new look. I think what happened is that it’s always been this shade of gray purple--but when you put purple next to it’s opposing color (which is yellow colors) it looks even MORE purple. It’s just how color works. Love color theory. mm. Good stuff. Good purple hair.

I can’t wait until Yami kills Yugi for the 3rd time in one season.

Anyway, that’s all for now, and like always, here’s a link to read these in chrono order.

#ygo #yugioh #yu-gi-oh #recap #photo recap #episode recap #yami yugi #seto kaiba #Dartz #I don't know if he has a last name or if they were invented yet #Dartz' hot wife #Yugi muto #Joey Wheeler #Mai Valentine #maxamillion pegasus #Raphael #s4 #ep 34