#it's working pretty good so far but im refusing to get my hopes up too much

[dragonanon]

Tfw when you're trying to limit the amount of calories you're eating, and you realize just how absurdly high calorie most things are.

#i'm trying to lose weight with the guidance of doctor by taking an appetite suppressant and eating fewer calories #it's working pretty good so far but im refusing to get my hopes up too much #i've only been taking the medicine and limiting my calories for less than 2 weeks and i've already lost almost 8 and a half pounds #i don't have a specific weight goal in mind so much as i want to be losing weight instead of gaining #at minimum i'm making sure to eat at least 1200 calories a day but no more than 1500 calories a day #this is mostly because i've read that the minimum amount you need to eat to avoid your metabolism slowing down is 1200 calories a day #the medicine has actually also been helping my ADHD some as my brain feels more....put together if that makes sense #i'm mostly just distraught because i fucking LOVE mcdonald's breakfast sandwiches but they're all like at least 400 calories #this means if i want to keep my intake low i'll need to stop buying breakfast from mcdonalds #i can be convinced to do just about anything if you offer me an sausage egg mcmuffin sandwich #it's hard and there's no way i'd be able to do this without the medicine #but at the same time i'm just so sick of being fat and not being able to wear certain clothes or do certain things because of it #i love myself i really do but i know deep down i can't keep living like this if i ever want to truly feel confident in my appearance

[moondirti]

DEE IK THIS IS SO OFF THE BAT BUT IMAGINE RIDING MIGUEL’S ABS??!;!;?:?:? WHATS UR CRUMB ON THAT BCS IM LITERALLY ASCENDING INTO HEAVEN JUST BY THE THOUGHT OF IT😩☝🏼

SUMMARY: after the events of DOUBLE RAPTURE, we follow Mig back home and explore his less than ideal relationship with his world's version of you.

explicit (18+) | 1.5k words

part one / can be read as a standalone! WARNINGS: smut, ab-riding, handjobs, codependant relationships, submissive (?) miguel, ANGST, fear of commitment (on the reader's part), implied parental issues, drinking, anxious/avoidant attachment styles NOTES: did this take me forever to respond to? yes. have i been thinking about it every day since i received it? also yes. please have a little drabble as a sweet treat for your genius mind, anon. sorry i took it too far

This is how it is with Miguel.

Buttressed on a leather couch that isn't so much leather anymore, but cotton dotted with the flakes of black suede that've managed to hold on through the years since you bought it. It's old, unstable – somewhat an apt metaphor for your relationship to the man – and stands situated across a television with no cable. He shows up at your door on any unannounced night, where for once you wish he'd catch you with plans pre-made, and intrudes on your vain attempt to connect the old screen to your neighbour's internet.

And it's ironic that you should end up watching dated cartoons anyway, stuck inside your apartment that is a fraction the size of his, because he always opens on some variation of the same line – the very thing that woo'd you all those years ago, when you were younger and prone to any man's charm:

What's a pretty thing like you do in a place like this?

It's dark outside – night-worn inhibition being one of the main constituents to poor decision making – and his skin gleams golden in the dim lamp light. You can't refuse him for all your rationale on why, so he comes in and you pour a strong drink whose hangover tomorrow will take precedence over your guilt. He drinks too, perhaps to make your eventual rejection easier, and the two of you make-out on that tumbledown couch until your lips turn blue.

Sometimes, he comes up for air – only when he gathers enough courage to break away from you – to whisper filthy nothings and little promises on the shell of your ear. Neither are empty, you know. Miguel’s good at making good of every word when it comes to you. The push and pull gets to him, fuels his gears until he’s pouring proper work into making you happy. From what you can physically face – gonna have you creaming on my cock, cariño – to prospects that remain ever-frightening – wanna stay like this forever, you on my lap, sharing our home. 

You’ve never had a reference to ‘our’. Commitment remains a fickle thing for you, instilled by parents who didn’t have the mind to give it. He knows as much, but you don’t think he understands just what keeps you around regardless. What keeps you at the door, waiting for an acknowledged three-knuckle knock. None of the in betweens, flowers, nor the heights you reach spread-eagled underneath him. It’s always just been exactly that – his return, done every time without fail. 

(And there’s the ever-negging fear that one day he’ll grow sick of the cycle. 

On one hand, you hope he does. It hurts him more than it does you, and you hate to watch him leave. Yet on the other, more volatile hand – you pray he fucks you so well you forget your reserve, that he breeds and carries you away from this hole you’ve dug yourself in.) 

For now, though–

For now, you lift the shirt off his frame. He’s let his chest-hair grow since you met him last, and if you strain to remember, he’s gotten bulkier. Abs more pronounced, with pecs that bounce when you graze your nails down his side. It’s refined, a look that makes him appear older. You swoop down to lick his neck, moaning hotly once you reach his mouth. 

“You been working out, Mig?” 

“For you, hermosa. Figured you’d like me better like this.” He groans, kneading the flesh of your thighs. His fingers dip into the waistband of your underwear, snapping it on your skin in an explicit plea to take it off. 

“And who told you that?” You say, acquiescing, working the lacey strip off your hips. Your cunt sucks at it, belligerent in letting go now that it’s soaked the fabric through. 

“A couple I met. They remind me of us.” His head follows yours when you draw away from an attempted kiss. It’s unintentional, done to stand off and strip completely, yet his reaction to it sends little tremors of pleasure to your core. “Of what we could be.” 

“Shhhh.” Once you’re completely bare, tits freed from your tank top, you straddle him again, a little higher this time. His waist is cinched enough to allow you to do so with little fuss, tendons at the top of your thighs aching only slightly. “Make me feel good, please.” 

“Of course.” 

His thumb presses down on your swollen clit, holding it in place while you arch your back and trap it underneath you – sandwiching it between your mound and his midriff. The pressure is electric, charged to fervency, buzzing as it lights every nerve ending from your waist below. And three thrusts forth and back see to it that he’s slick, lubed with the juices that gradually seep from your needy slit. 

The sight, the sensations, the thought that he’s putting effort outside of this room for you – they all make you exceedingly weak. Your legs wobble, practically jello, spine made out of sand and unable to support you fully. Miguel stays firm, one large paw squeezing your breast and the other at your pelvis. You’d ask him to help, to move you against him until you see stars, but a stone lodges in your throat and prevents the words from finding clarity. 

It’s guilt, of that you’re familiar, but for a number of things; the fact that he would help you seek pleasure in spite of his own – his erection left abandoned under the confines of his pants. The idea of desecrating his hard work, those muscles made pronounced, with your filth without fully appreciating it first. For everything, everything, and it’s so crushing that you stop moving altogether. 

“No, no. C’mon, pretty. Keep going.” He begs, pelvis thrusting up with need. You shove your arm behind you, seeking out the zipper keeping him from you, palming his hard length with clumsy assurance “Don’t worry about me. Wanna feel you cum on my abs. Gonna lick you clean after. We have forever if you’d let me. There’s no rush.” 

No rush. It’s far from the typical Miguel sentiment, and you blink in perplexed contemplation. But he just grins, brows knitting up with reverence. 

“Did these people also teach you to take your time?” You struggle to say patience, because he’s always been patient with you. 

“Something along the lines.” He mutters, suddenly sheepish. His fangs always intrude when his tone is quiet, like they’re intentionally making him difficult to understand. He knows he’s special to you when you try to decipher it nonetheless. 

“Don’t be making me jealous, now.” You taunt, dipping to bite his lip. It’s fun to pull up, up, until he whines and shoves you harder onto him. Achingly empty and close to cumming on his abdomen alone. Slowly, you start to gyrate again, riding unrelenting sinew. And in the meanwhile, you manage to get his zipper undone, sneaking your hand beneath his briefs.

“I’ll explain lat… later, p-promise.” 

“I don’t doubt it. F-Fuck,” Somehow, the pleasure is simultaneously heavenly and not enough, this little game you decided to engage in tiptoeing the line. He’s good even when he isn’t trying, just laying there, pinching pebbled nipples with enough callousness that it aches in the best way. On your first date – which wasn’t really a date, but a happenstance meeting at your father’s shady bar – he’d been hesitant to hurt you like you wanted. The best he could do was pepper your neck with sore hickeys, pocketed in the back alley, touch kinder than any you’d experienced before. “Oh my god.”

“Y-You’re so soft. My gorgeous girl. So soft and… and pretty when you do that.”

“Mig.” You wail, useless in properly pumping his pulsing cock. It’s all you can do to palm the head, smearing prespend all over his velvet tip. And it’s hard, like smelted iron, throbbing hot and heavy. It’s been so long since you’ve had it in you that you’re sure it’ll take some effort to fit. The abstraction fills you with desperation so poignant that you start moving faster, rougher, seeking an end where you’re stuffed full yet doing nothing to actually achieve it. 

That is, until–

“What do you need?” He asks.

Your hole clenches. Your guts knot together. Your orgasm gathers, full and sloshing wet, trapped behind the wall he’s been breaking down since his arrival. 

“You!” You finally admit. “You.” Softer. 

And when you cum, soaking his middle with shameless indulgence, all he does is flip you over to settle beneath him. The couch rocks with the sudden upheaval, threatening collapse, so he keeps a firm hold of your shoulders, kneeling between your quivering thighs. His breadth bobs from over his pants – you don’t recall taking it out – purple with restrained pain and just waiting for your cue to allow him entry.

“I’ve got you, cariño.” Miguel hums, positioning himself onto the divet of your cunt when you give a frail nod. “I’ve got you.” 

And you know, of course you do. He’s never backed away from a promise before. Because that is how it is with Miguel.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara fanfic #spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara #miguel atsv #miguel spiderverse #thirt #drabble #smut #x you #x reader #x y/n #x f!reader #x female reader #spiderman: across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #spiderman #atsv #༄dee answers #angst

[dollveis]

hey! saw your requests were open :) could you do a story (modern or current au) where joel owns bar and sometimes lets bands/people play and a f!reader is singing (and playing gutair) while ellie is there and once the reader is done with her set she goes up to the bar (where ellie is) and they flirt? or maybe ellie starts coming to the bar more often only to hear the reader? il your work your so talented!

⠀⠀⠀𐚁 ͏͏ ᳝˚ ͏͏𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬' 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤. | ellie w. ׁ ׂ ✦

✿ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : modern!ellie x fem!reader.

✿ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 : ellie's too drunk to drive, the music is nice and you're too.

✿ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : ellie is crushing so bad it's cute, kinda insecure ellie too, love at first sight, mostly fluff, mention of fingering (i couldn't help myself).

✿ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 ; 1.2k

⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀✿ ﹙ 𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐈 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒﹚: I ABSOLUTELY FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS REQUEST, IT'S SO CUTE, so i hope it fulfills your expectations. sadly lately im having a block but i had fun writing this. pd: i don't know how i always make shy ellie until she gets affected by some substance.

⠀⠀⠀

captivating. that's the word ellie williams would use to describe you and your presentations, but mostly to describe you. you captivated her attention since the first time she saw you even if she would deny it everytime joel whispered in her ear how mesmerized ellie was by you, the kinda cute girl with a pretty voice and pretty hands playing the guitar like she would call you in her mind.

"if you keep looking at her like that i think you're gonna erase her face." he mocked the auburn haired girl, who as answer just protested and stood up with her drink in hand, the gray-haired man let out a throaty laugh and walked away to serve a drink to some man who called him.

she was not looking at you, not like that. she was just admiring how talented you were. and fuck, you really were, a relaxing and silvery voice accompanying the sweet tune of the acoustic guitar playing a recognizable rhythm for ellie, take on me by a-ha, and she couldn't help herself but think about how attractive you seemed under the yellowish lights of the old west thematic bar. well, maybe she was looking at you like that but she refused to admit it because ellie was really far away from being a hopeless romantic (probably the opposite), but since joel introduced her to you like an old pupil of his she fell like a fool, at first sight.

"she's good, isn't she?" joel came back, lying against the bar, looking at you, the girl who he taught to play guitar when she was 8. ellie hummed in response, absorbed by you. "since she started coming here to perform you're also coming more." he pointed.

"i'm not, liar." she barked defensively, and that made joel chuckle. "i come when people play..."

"yeah, but always come when she's here." he could barely contain his cocky smile, for joel seeing his 'anti love' kid was the funniest, cute too. "you should talk to her more, she's a good girl."

"what?!" her body becoming stiff at the thought of talking to you, she looked at him with wide eyes. "there's no way i'm doing that. no, like, no fucking way, joel, she's out of my league." ellie rambled, with nervous voice and red ears.

"who's out of your league?" there you were, with a shy smile and your guitar in it's case.

"who? no one!" she layed back against the bar with her beer in hand and an awkward smile avoiding looking directly to your eyes. "hey, yn... you did good." scratching her neck, she tried to look at you.

"thank you, els." you said, putting your weight on one leg, with your head facing down and your eyes looking at her.

"els?" she said with a dorky smile, red ears and brilliant eyes.

"you don't like it? sorry, it was not my intention, i didn't wanna-"

"no, i mean, it's not that-"

"no, really-" you were a nervous wreck just by the thought of her hating you.

"i like it." she said confidently, confident that disappeared in seconds, leaving a reddish ellie with wide eyes who took her whole beer in one sip trying to calm herself. "joel, serve me a whiskey!".

she wanted to disappear, she embarrassed herself in front of you, or that's what she thought, but you laughed attempting to be as discrete as you could, making her laugh shyly. you walked next to her, ordering a drink.

you didn't know how it happened, but you were entering ellie's room with her, holding hands with interlocked fingers and your heart racing fast.

joel asked you to drive the affected ellie, who drinked anxiously trying to calm her nerves, to her house, and you accepted concerned about the freckled girl. she was not that bad, but she was drunk enough to don't let her drive.

"okay, i'm gonna bring you some water and a bin just in case." you breaked the contact between your hands, leaving a cold and empty sensation. "and i'm gonna leave." you smiled, with traces of sadness in it, hoping she won't tell you to don't go, because you didn't wanna leave the warmth on your heart caused by her.

ellie just looked at you, analyzing the situation, should she ask you to stay for a while?

"uhmm..." she cleared her throat, walking towards her desk, with awkward movements. "before you go i want to show you something, if it's okay." she picked up her guitar, that was supported by the desk.

if she was honest with herself, she lost motivation about music a while ago, she stopped playing tunes in the guitar, writing songs at the moonlight. but when she saw you a few weeks ago, it felt like all the songs started to mean something again and unconsciously, she learned can't take my eyes off you thinking about you because she couldn't take her off you even if she deny it.

you nodded, impatient, leaning against her desk as she sat on her bed with space themed sheets.

ellie started to sing, with a shaky and nervous voice, genuinely afraid of your reaction because well, maybe you would take the hint, maybe you would realize she was confessing to you driven by the alcohol on her blood,

"i love you, baby,"

her words started falling over you like rocks,

"and if it's quite alright,"

her sweet stupid voice making you so conscious about your heartbeat,

"i need you, baby."

and her partially chapped lips encouraging you to think about how good they could feel against yours, how well her fingers would make you feel and in general how much you wanted her in every definition of the word.

suddenly the guitar stopped and her voice hissed, "god, don't look at me like that..." one of her hands covering her -probably red- face.

"how i'm looking at you?" pretending innocence you took a step forward in her direction.

"you're looking at me in a way..." she swallowed, collecting herself, she was gonna say it directly. "you're looking at me in a way it makes me wanna kiss you, can i? " she left her guitar away, standing up to face you and gently tilting your chin so your eyes locked.

"kiss me." before she could react you already kissed her, not in a suggestive way, just enjoying how she her hands caressed your cheeks, both of you melting in a sweet kiss, slow.

once your lips finally separated from hers, you looked directly to her eyes, "i can't stop looking at your eyes, they are like stars." she blushed and chuckled for your words, going for another kiss, kiss that slowly started to tone up.

and without realizing you both were laying on her bed sharing a intimate moment, facing each other with your fingers interlocked again.

caressing her knuckles you asked "how many people you've kissed?" shame invading you immediately, why you asked that.

"very few." her answer was indifferent, she didn't care about anything more than you in that moment.

"then why you offered me a kiss?" your pupils tried to avoid hers, ashamed by your own questions.

ellie giggled.

"because i wanted to." said while her free hand roamed around your collarbone, examining every beauty mark you could have there, trying to memorize it.

and you did the same, analyzing her features, her eyes, her freckles, everything about her.

"so... you accept going on a date with me?" she kissed your forehead.

#=͟͟͞⚝ 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐲 𝐯𝐢 ! #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #the last of us #tlou

[rainba]

Haiii I have a question about the boys ^w^ (my lovely kittens im gonna stomp a them to the moment when they're paper thin/affectionately)

What would they do if mc was in realtionship when they started to be obsessed with them???? Or If like MC is aromantic and just don't want to be with anyone???

Stomp stomp the little sillies (っ˘ω˘ς ) hehe

Warning for these: Kairos and Luka handle Aromanticism pretty badly, and… mentions of stalking + violence, the usual yandere stuff. ^^.

For both Kairos and Luka, they already know what they have to do: get rid of the competition.

In the beginning, Kairos and Luka definitely go about things similarly. They’d both start leaking rumors about your current partner– sending fake texts, spreading fake photos, etc. They’d do everything in their power to make you stop liking your partner– and they might conjure up fake evidence showing that you’re being cheated on. ^^;;;;;

However… If none of that works?? They’ll just have to take more drastic measures.

Kairos would start flooding your partner’s messages and emails with vague threats and tons of viruses. Kairos would take dozens of photos and anonymously send them to your partner– pictures of them– with extremely unnerving captions.

“Leave. Now.”

“If you don’t leave my darling alone, there will be consequences.”

…Messages of that nature. ^^;; If your partner refuses to leave and weeks go by, his messages will only grow more and more deranged and frantic, the frequency of them amping up too. Those messages will say stuff like:

“Die. Die. Die. Die.”

“Do you have a death wish..?”

“Fucking die already.”

Kairos also makes sure the messages are untraceable, so… The police won’t really be able to help. >_< He’s hoping that putting the pressure on your partner will scare him enough and make him leave you.

…And, if all else fails, he’ll just resort to kidnapping you. ^_^.

For the second part: if his darling is aromantic? Kairos will be heartbroken. (╥_╥) He just doesn’t understand– like? What do you mean you’re aromantic??? You don’t feel anything for him-? Not at all? Is he just not good enough?? Why can’t he be an exception? 

He’d then keep pushing you to be romantic with him regardless… He doesn’t take it too well. (｡•́︿•̀｡)

As for Luka, he’d be much more confrontational and aggressive about everything. He wouldn’t spam your partner with messages and stuff… No. He’d slash your partners tires, set their house on fire, paint threats on the side of your partner’s car. He’ll do everything in his power to make your partner so terrified that they leave you. ^^;;;;; So… It’s similar to what Kairos does, but still a bit different. 

Oh, and also, Luka wouldn’t be afraid to stalk your partner, and then beat them within an inch of their life while telling them to stay far away from you. (-ω-、) Luka would try to disguise himself, but, um... It might be a bit hard to hide his pink ears and extremely huge tail. So to make up for this, he just makes sure that he catches your partner by surprise and blindfolds them as soon as the attack begins. ┐(シ)┌

As for Luka with an aromantic darling: he… He doesn’t really care. Nothing really changes for him– he still does what he normally does, regardless of what you have to say about it. (つω`｡) Forces you into a relationship and tries to do romantic things, regardless of how many times you tell him that you just don’t experience romantic attraction... Yikes ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡

#ask #luka posting #kairos posting

[foofenshmirtz]

Log #1 A Warm Welcome

Disclaimer, this Au goes into detail about death, and mentions of sexual assault, cults, religion, gods, and gore. viewer discretion is advised. I do not own any of the characters unless stated otherwise and everything is purely for entertainment purposes. I only own my writing and the characters Yurei and Julia.

November 28th 20████  

I've only been in these woods for around 2 weeks now but I think I'm starting to get the hang of things. I came here originally to get away from my problems and keep my family safe but it seems there are others like me. Most humans here are crude and very violent (not like I'm one to judge) but I have found someone who is quite friendly. For once my power is no longer a curse and I actually have someone I can call my friend.

She advised me to start logging my findings, stating it could help me around the woods. She claims that she knows alot about the people who reside here due to her status and is willing to help. She seems just as lonely as me, which isn't surprising since I'm the only one who can see her. Ghost or not its nice to have someone I can rely on who isn't going to harm me in some way.

 So far I've seen only a few others in the woods but Ly has assured me that there are many others. It's kind of nerve racking considering the people I have stumbled upon seemed pretty grumpy and cold hearted but that could all be because I'm a stranger and new to these woods. ( and the fact that everyone here is some type of criminal)

I've never been good at keeping journals but I'm going to try my best, maybe if I die and someone finds this book it can help them along in the woods as it's doing for me. 

My name is Julia, joy for short and I am dead. I'm not going to go into great length on how I died but I did and now I'm here. I needed to keep my family safe so I ran away here to the woods.

I'd like to say I'm a kind person but I don't know how true that is anymore. I try to be kind  but ultimately it's hard when I see people as food and my only friends nowadays are a ghost and my dog. Despite it, I'll try my best to be as kind as I can till I eventually succumb to insanity like the rest of the criminals in these woods.

I hope my family doesn't miss me too much, I know I sure do but it's for the best, i didn't leave them completely empty handed though. Technically I'm dead but the government doesn't know that, so my disability checks will still go to them so I hope that I can still help them out even a little, And if by chance my family is reading this i'm sorry.

Info about me :3

Julia Reid: undead cannibal??   Age: 2████   Height: I think 5’5  Disorders: Mind your business 

I've only been this “thing” for a few months now so I don't know the extent of my powers but I'm pretty sure I can't die. I've tried everything i can but nothing works, so im sure I'm like some zombie or weird vampire at this point. My body heals faster than normal humans and I can speak to the dead and make them do my bidding which sounds almost ghoul or zombie like but I need blood and meat to survive and my body can contort into a weird creature so at this point I'm as clueless as the next person. I've tried to google my symptoms but all I get recommended are supernatural episodes and weird fanfics so I suppose I'll just have to figure it out as I go.

I've been trying to find a new purpose in life, I can't go back to school or start a normal family so I'm going to do my best to survive here. I found an old abandoned cabin I've made into my new home. It's really gross and has been a pain to clean up but its shelter and I'm sure one day I can make it bearable to live in, and perhaps after the winter I can start a garden to help pass the hours in the day.

Fun facts about me:  

I refuse to eat animal meat ( it makes me sad

I hate loud noises and crowds

My dogs name is yueri ( i played too much phasmophobia :3)

I have several tattoos ( not like anyone will see them ever again)

I hate strawberries

My favorite color is pink

And I have a fear of needles

None of this truly matters since Ly and I are the only ones who read this book  but she says it helps keep yourself sane and helps remember who you are. These woods tend to change people for the worse so i'm going to try my best to stay true to myself till i eventually am done for. 

     PS i also noticed a lot of people in these woods have cool masks (most likely to hide their identity) Maybe i should get a cool one to make myself look more scary.

#original writing #creepypasta #creative writing #ticci toby #original character #original post #jeff the killer #nina the killer #slenderverse #slender proxy #slenderman

[ainaava]

Free Day

TES Summer Fest -- Day 8: Free Day

Here's a little wip I started working on finally. I wrote most of it early morning so I hope its not too hard to read. This is the start of my fic (currently untitled, im bad at titles) for my oc Ivrasea!

This is incomplete and unedited. Any criticism is appreciated.

Word Count: 746

@tes-summer-fest

The sound of shock spells being continuously thrown at a target echoed through the Hall of the Elements when Mirabelle entered. There was only one student on the far side of the chamber, practicing destruction magic. It was much too early for any of the other students to be up and about but this particular student had a tendency to refuse sleep and overwork herself. Mirabelle had already checked her room so naturally this was the next place.

The Dunmer was wearing a golden gauntlet Mirabelle had given her to help her learn to control her magic. She was supporting her casting arm up with the opposite arm, and her arms were shaking. She charged up another spell as Mirabelle approached her from behind. Mirabelle placed a hand on her shoulder and the spell sizzled out. The mage lowered her arms and turned her head to look at Mirabelle.

“You startled me. I could’ve hurt you, you know.” Mirabelle dropped her hand and shook her head.

“Ivrasea, you have more control than you think. But that’s not why I’m here. I want you to do some field research with the new students. I think it’d be good for you to do some field work, and it would be good for the new students to see an older student work as well.” Ivrasea finally relaxed a bit, and nodded her head. She took off her gauntlet and hooked it to her belt. She wiped her casting hand down the red fabric of her robes, leaving a darker smear behind. Mirabelle noticed and grabbed her hand. The scars in the center of her palm were smeared with blood and the skin surrounding it, red with irritation.

Mirabelle sighed. “Go find Ri’avva for this, then get some sleep. I know you haven’t slept and you’ll need the rest.” She dropped Ivrasea’s hand, pat her arm and then left. Ivrasea looked down at her hand, at the injury. It was throbbing with pain, but she hardly felt it anymore. She regularly overworked herself to this point, and the pain didn’t bother her anymore. And anyway, it doesn’t take much to break open her scars since she got them.

Ivrasea entered the Hall of Countenance and found Ri’avva in one of the rooms, reading a book. The Khajiit healer had her hair tied back and a candle lit on a table next to her as her light. Ivrasea knocked on the wall as she entered the room, and Ri’avva looked up at her, closing her book.

“Hmm, this one is up early, trouble sleeping again?” Ivrasea ignored her question and held her injured hand out.

“I overdid it again. Mirabelle insisted I come to you.” Ri’avva looked sad as she took Ivrasea’s hand and inspected her injury. She placed Ivrasea’s hand between hers and charged up a healing spell, pumping the magic into her wound. Ivrasea winced at the increase in pain before Ri’avva let her hand go.

“This one should slow down and not overdo it again. Could cause permanent damage, you know.” Ivrasea looked to the side, avoiding eye contact with her, and nodded her head. “Mira also told me about the site Tolfdir is taking the new students to. Ivrasea is going as well, yes?” Ri’avva picked her book up again and held it in her lap, looking at Ivrasea expectantly.

Ivrasea looked back to her. “Uh, yeah I am. I don’t know any of the new students, though.” Ri’avva smiled warmly at her, and let out a small laugh.

“No need to be nervous, friend. They are all very ambitious students and you all should get along well.” Ivrasea smiled a little and Ri’avva waved her off, telling her to get some rest before they all have to head to the site. Ivrasea headed out to the Hall of Attainment. Once inside, she passed a few rooms of sleeping students before arriving at her own room. It was pretty bare, as she didn’t tend to keep many things. She only had a few things she could carry easily while traveling. She had an elven great sword leaning against the wall next to the bed, a few books on various magick subjects piled up on a table, and a dagger on the desk. She placed he gauntlet on top of the books and lay down. She lay there in the silence, mind continuously going through the events that led her to this place, until she eventually fell asleep.

#tesfest23 #tes #skyrim #oc: ivrasea #writing #oc fanfiction #my writing #writing wip #this is only the tiniest snippet of the beginning of this fic #i had to write a bit real quick before i go on vacation so i could post it for tesfest #perhaps ill make post little wips or snippets of writing a habit to keep me writing #i dont know if anyone would enjoy that????

[ablednt]

i hope it's okay to talk about this here, if not, that's okay, you can ignore it, but tw for transphobia, medical abuse, reality checking, psychiatric abuse, medical gaslighting, ableism, sanism, psyism and pluralphobia.

my system basically seemingly all went dormant last night after earlier yesterday our mother's social worker told us that we're a delusion ( when he doesn't even know us, he only knows our mother's side of the story, she told him about our plurality without our consent ) and then he blatantly deadnamed me and refused to call the body's chosen name after i called him out on it ( and this guy supposedly worked with ppl w/ psychosis for a decade now and for some reason he groups psychosis and plurality together and basically used these outdated myths about plurality ) and now she refuses to call us by our true names and only responds to the body and now it's a possibility that we might be given antipsychotics against our will and she's blatantly telling us that "if you don't get rid of them with antipsychotics, you're gonna stay in a group home for the rest of your life." and literally all of these are massive red flags.

now i disowned my mother because i literally can't trust her anymore and im trying to learn lifeskills as much as possible so i can get away from her. im just so angry and upset and feel trapped.

God I'm so sorry that's awful.

I've never gone through anything quite that extreme but I did have people try and pressure me into seeking therapy for delusions and tried to force me to stop believing in my headmates very soon after my syscovery.

Having had that experience I can say that they're absolutely wrong in doing this to you. To start you know yourselves and your experiences far better than anyone on the outside can. I do experience delusions relatively severely but even I can fairly easily tell that my headmates are not delusions (they're too consistent, a delusion isn't going to be a consistent person you communicate with for weeks to months at a time with very little change.).

But to play devils advocate even if you WERE just having delusions this is not at all a safe or healthy way for them to support you. First off delusions aren't always harmful, psychotic people deserve the right to refuse treatment for a delusion and to say reality checks aren't needed. No one should ever force a delusional person to abruptly stop yhr delusion they should be offering a safe space. Ultimately, although I do fully believe you that your headmates are real, this was a violation of your autonomy either way and unacceptable to treat you this way.

Getting out when you can is a good idea and I promise that once you are able to get out on your own there's lot's of us out there and there's more people supportive of systems than it seems. However, it's important to be careful and get all the details straight before you leave. I do not know what the situation here is exactly so I can't give specific advice but you'll need to already have somewhere to go in mind, what you'll do when you get there, and a long term plan afterwards for how you'll keep going. Also be sure you have any legal documents that you need such as IDs, birth certificates, etc. If you're running away try to save up for it in cash.

My plan to leave my house wounded up being trying to stick it out until i can get a job and move out the normal way just because I'm too disabled to really risk anyrhing different and that's still ongoing unfortunately so I can't offer much advice here just be careful and be sure to think things through realistically.

In any case things are pretty bad for you right now and I completely understand how disorienting and horrifying this all must be but I want to say that the main strength of a system is resilience. Your dormant members can most likely wake up again, you'll also form more eventually and meet new people. Even if you're forced to mask again and pretend to be singlet to avoid the abuse you still have each other and you'll still be able to find ways to talk to and support each other. Those connections can never truly be taken from you no matter how hard anyone tries to destroy what you have together they cannot.

The community is always here if you need encouragement, advice on masking and quality of life improvements, etc. We're rooting for you!

#pluralphobia tw #ableism tw #ask to tag #transphobia tw

[6loodlvstt]

I usually play videogames with no audio cuz when I have it on I get easily bored. For example last month I started pokemon sword and tbh never played it with vol on and when I did that for the first time I was like “? Why the sounds are so annoying?”. Idk probably I’m weird but I get easily overwhelmed with sounds. It’s kinda funny because when I listen to music I listen to black metal/rock in general. But when I’m busy drawing things I like to listen to true crime podcasts. Yeah I’m one of those obsessed with serial killers cases.

And yeah, fear and hunger is just straight up hard. I was surprised the first time but I’m still trying to finish it (I want to die/hj). So far I’m loving sm hades! The character designs are so pretty? Ofc I like Dionysus the most, he was and still is my favorite icon. Just to ask, who’s your fav greek mythological figure? I’m curious. Personally I’m also extremely into the myth of Hyacinth the most. Probably I read too many graphic novels about him ahah. And! Are you perhaps also into egyptian mythology? Since I was a kid I was so obsessed with mummies and the first time I saw one I was so anxious lol.

When I was in school I also had problems at school, mostly because at the time I was the only emo kid and all my classmates were… normal? I liked to dress black, enjoyed spending time writing horror stories and I was a major creepypasta lover. But I genuinely sucked at oral tests. Probably you only had some random quizzes but where I live we also have oral ones. And I fucking hated to speak in front of people. So drawing during classes was a sort of stress relief to my anxiety! So I completely get you :(

This is funny but I always was extremely talented at singing, although at some point I started to find annoying to perform in front of people. And in general the idea of studying in theater looked “uncool” in my teen years. Now I completely changed opinion and I’m a musical fan lol. My family always tried to push me into trying this world in some ways through the years and only some months ago I finally decided to open up. It’s scary tho. You shouldn’t gave up your dreams. Realistically speaking you can start studying in the future if you really want to pursuit violin! ^^

What are you doing now? I hope everything’s going well! <3 -🩹

i always play with audio on since a lot of games i play have audio cues into it, but i understand sometimes the game sounds can be annoying

god me too, to all of the music and the true crime; i mainly liten to true crime at work tho or when im playing minecraft for some strange reason

it sounds like a pain but i so get that,,

my favorite always has been aphrodite and always will be <3

i used to be kinda an egyptian myth nerd but i would have to relearn a lot tbh

sometimes we had presentations tests so i think thats as close to relating with the oral tests but the rest i totally understand

my family is kinda controlling of what i do, if they dont like that i picked up a hobby or something they let me know, like cosplaying for example i find it really difficult because my dads a little creepy and my mom refuses to acknowledge or be arpund me if she notices that i am and its to the point that it becomes a really big problem in my house so now ive got like really expensive cosplays and o barely do it anymore to keep some peace in my house ueue when i move out ill probably pick up a lot of my old hobbies like cosplay, art, streaming, and music stuff maybe ill even pick back up baking who knows!

im still playing dead space tbh,, its so fun but i just asked my brother a steam question and he closed out of dead space so i just lost a good chunk of progress sigghhhh, i hope your days been going well too though :D tell me if you do anything fun <3

#⋆ ♰.˚🩸⌗ d a r l i n g s ˎˊ˗ #╰┈➤ 🩹 anon

[polyamorouspunk]

Heyy tumblr bestie!!

Life is still absolutely *WACK* but its *fine* I took today off work to just not and get my shit together a bit. Dad got biopsy results that he’s refusing to look at, niece is being pulled out of school cause of death threats, and Im just here lol

On a brighter note though! I got invited to a dnd campaign for January so I’ve been working on a really fun new character!! AND, Im taking Mountain Boy to my family’s Christmas party tomorrow which is great cause I’ll get to avoid all the ‘why no boyfriend?’ Questions but also SO nerve wracking cause my family is MUCH crazier than his. But Im excited anyways to make him play cards with me there and meet my fam (except my brother and nephew cause they’re down in Kentucky cause my nephew qualified for the junior olympics for track)

Anyhow, I hope you have a good weekend!! Lots of love! 💛💛💛

-key

Hey there! Love you so much too!

I’m glad Mountain Boy is meeting your family today! Congrats to your nephew! In our family newsletter I saw that on Thanksgiving one of my cousins had a gymnastics meet that they were inviting the family to and I was like man I would go if I still lived in Connecticut. I remember being invited along to my neighbor’s once and it was neat. When I was up visiting you my cousin was doing hers at the college which I think I told you about, you said it was pretty far away, like 5 hours right? She ended up spending the night with me at her grandma’s house the night before I left and I was taking a plane back to NC and she was going to be driving to NC that day as well. Her and her mom just came down to visit the 2nd week of November so her mom could run a race with my mom’s other cousin. And I’ll be looking forward to coming up next summer to visit you again!

I really would love to play dnd but I don’t have anyone to play with and I think I would need to play in person to really understand what’s going on. I was part of a test pilot group for a dnd-style game my friend and their brother pioneered and when I went to stay at their house my friend was like “by the way we’re talking about this game we made up” and both their brother and I were like “yeah OUR friend group was the test subject for that” and they were like OH RIGHT I FORGOT. They have a Friday family game night that I was crashing (they invited me to crash it since I was sleeping there, and invited our other best friend and her husband to crash it too if they wanted) but since it was Halloween it was more of a party where my friend and I watched Bluey for 2 hours and ate food their mom had made and we exchanged gifts and I got gifts too and I was like 😭 thank you 😭

I’ve been keeping it on the down-low but I’m dating again (really lowkey for right now because holiday season is retail is nightmare) but I haven’t really told anyone outside of my discord server because I was like “hey advice on this” and then my friend on discord I talk to every day and my best friend since she had to third-wheel the last date we went on since she was diving me around. My other friends have met her before but I doubt anyone remembers because my other best friend has the WORST memory (like forgetting we were the ones who demoed their game) but my other friend might remember because we all went to college together. I should tell my other friends I just have not.

Sending your dad so much love and support, as well as you and Mountain Boy and the rest of your family.

#punk gets mail

[hopcrow]

my poor mom came back from houston and now her lupus is flaring up from the stress over there. long family drama after the cut lol

she’s a real one for going…my stupid ass brother is presenting with what is so obviously bipolar disorder, but he’s in denial about it (despite me and our other sibling being diagnosed with it + having the exact same symptoms + telling him he needs to look into it)

so he’s fully being a terrible husband/dad between being depressed and then manic. not abusive or anything but Bad. he’s rapid cycling like me, too

he got fired from his job because brain stuff, found a new job far away, and moved ahead of his wife and kids so he can start working and find a house while his wife gets the old house ready to sell

but that means my poor sister in law is working full time, raising two kids, AND trying to clean/repair/sell a house totally by herself with zero support

mom and i are worried that she’s going to (understandably) leave his stupid ass if she continues to be under extreme pressure while he lets her drown and refuses to even try to deal with his mental illness

so mom went down for a few weeks to help my sister get the house ready, set them up with food in the freezer etc

we all love my sister in law just like she’s our blood relative, she would still be part of our family if they got divorced. mom and i are closer with her than with my blood brother.

but we also agree that he’s just never going to find a better match for himself than her. when he’s acting like a responsible adult they’re a strong and well balanced couple

and they do love each other. she has been incredibly supportive of him in his mental illness.

but he’s refusing to get help and just sort of ignoring the responsibility he has to his wife and sons. i wouldnt blame her for leaving

plus tbh im pretty insulted that the concept of being bipolar is so repulsive to him he’d rather nuke his own life than consider trying a mood stabilizer

like what does that say about how he sees our sib and i? who are both happy and stable on lithium btw. i mean he’s already taking antidepressants. so its not some psychiatrist/meds aversion. its bipolar in particular :/

he’s always been low key judgemental of me and our sibling about when we were struggling to get a handle on our bipolar so that may be coloring my perception too.

that stupid ass. i hope he doesnt succeed in ruining his own life before he figures shit out. he’s a dick but he always valued being a good husband and father more than anything else. i dont want him to throw away something so important to him

#im glad my bipolar kicked in when i was like 10 or younger #really early #for both sibs it was early to mid thirties #so they were married with kids and jobs when things went haywire

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest. 

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them. 

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind. 

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating. 

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer." 

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all. 

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed. 

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace. 

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly. 

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake. 

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her. 

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise. 

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation. 

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately. 

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless." 

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him. 

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population. 

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line. 

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt. 

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field. 

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so. 

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future. 

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk. 

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country. 

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?" 

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth. 

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate. 

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience. 

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him. 

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola." 

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is. 

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who." 

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically. 

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window. 

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements. 

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

#chapter update #good space

[bitter-hibiscus]

hav a good sleep and good luck spending money !!!!!!!

okay okay i might have mentioned this to you before but because there's already the foot clam and then rise added the council of heads i think it would be rlly funny if all the different hidden city/yokai related 'factions' were named after different body parts especially the. the arms dealers. so like a lot of these gangs are joining together after the kraang left the hidden city a little bit shaken up theyre unifying they may even have the beginnings of stronger tech

so the hamatos are stretched pretty thin they're getting worn down on all sides and big mama js a very prominent antagonistic force on the day to day bc shes taken to having grunts film their fights with the various gangs to hold over her audience between nexus fights as rise in technology means alternate means of entertainment means less buisness for her. or something i actually hadn't thought of the details of big mama before typing this out but they confront her and she ends up injuring either raph or april haven't decided yet

tension is high around the lair bc no one has really had time to recover emotionally from the kraang and they're out fighting constantly (casey is actually p normal about it bc all he knows is fighting. casey needs therapy probably) so like they're all pissy they're all one bad day away from snapping

getting heavy inspo from the donnie betrayal arc from the idw comics my best friend the idw comics donnie thinks that forging an alliance with big mama is the only way they'll get the upper hand. leo is like violently against this because raph/aprils wounds are still fresh literally and figuratively and he absolutely does not want donnie giving his resources to whats in his eyes enemy #1. donnie disagrees and thinks that her influence in the hidden city and ability to find people and know when fights are happening would be really useful leo orders donnie to stand down (leader moment!!! so proud of him) but donnie refuses point blank. things escalate when donnie reveals hes already spoken to big mama and they've worked out a deal and it turns into a family wide argument

leos side is raph (im leaning toward raph for injury reciever i think. i just feel bad fridging him after the movie already did) april (april donnie fight!!! i also just dont think she would trust big mama) and like most of the 1-2 time appearance side characters. maybe casey sr too? but i could see her hoping mama can like get normaler because that's what she did. what are your thoughts on this

donnies side is mikey (who loves a redemption arc and wants to look out for donnie) casey jr (he probably knew mama in the future when there was literally no choice but to be allies) and draxum (dont get me wrong he HATES big mama but he agrees with donnie that shes useful to them + he likes mikey best) also todd. he gives them lemonade

splinter is probably more of a mediator than anything he would love for his ex almost fiance to decide to turn to good but he wants to trust the judgement of his eldest and the son he made leader so he stays with them and lets draxum watch donnie mikey and the gang

so donnie and mikey (+ co maybe) take up temporary residence in the hidden city probably in the battle nexus hotel. haven't decided if one of them has to fight in the nexus but it would be neat

they also 100% meet big mamas assistant who was very heavily implied in the show to be a turtle that was left in the lab and captured by big mama. it is venus she shows them secrets and shit and is like plot relevant and stuff

tagst mostly what ive got in my little brain so far im bad at wrapping things up so im not really sure how that would go yet. i do thibk its really funny that like half of donnies side are looking at big mama like omg i could fix her and he is telling them to shut the fuck up and draxum is solemnly nodding in the bg

OH HOLY SHIT I LOVE HTAT. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

I think Cass/Casey Sr would be against Big Mama but only because one of the turtles would've told her about what she put them through and she'd be like AH! A WORTHY OPPONENT! BUT AN OPPONENT NONETHELESS!

#sprout ask #i love this AU so much

[ecoamerica]

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[trans-mink]

Heres that post I said I'd make of my concert experiences in 2022 and my issues with access as a person with hypermobility.

Bare in mind I'd only ever been to 2 pre covid and I managed to get to 4 this year :D. I am still getting used to what works for me in terms of managing my disability in different contexts.

Queen

My first one of 2022 was queen and adam lambert. It was so good, those old men can move, their vocals are still in great nick especially Brian's. The visuals were great too, a lot of lights and imagery from their different eras. Adam on a spinning motorbike for Bicycle, hell yeah. Was hoping they'd perform Innuendo which is my fav queen song but they did not, they did do The show must go on however which is almost as good. Cried a lot at These are the days of our lives.

Can't say much in terms of access cos I was standing (bad decision bcs i hurt like hell afterward but i got that ticket off someone else so)

Carpenter Brut

Honestly wish I'd enjoyed it more but there were several things working against me there. Its the kind of music I listen to while doing other stuff cos its mostly instrumental so sitting and bobbing along kinda didnt cut it for me personally. I think id have had a better experience if I was able to stand up and dance as well as having the option to sit but we werent allowed to do that rip. No way I could have gone in the pit bcs by this point my mobility issues had worsened. That and I was worrying about my nova twins concert the following week bcs my doctor was refusing to provide a disability note for me :^).

In terms of access for that, I did have to go up stairs cos the building doesnt have lifts (listed venues baybeee). Thankfully i dont have trouble with stairs but a lot of people do so :/. The seats were not comfortable at all and my back hurt after 😭

Nova Twins

As previously mentioned I saw Nova Twins the week after and was given a disabled seat despite my doctor being a cunt about it. Very glad I did, the view was good and I was able to stand up/ dance when I needed to (if i sit for too long my hips lock). Got to see the hosts of We wear black pod there so that was great, got their signatures and they said i was pretty :'). The acts themselves went hard, most energetic concert I've been to bar janelle monae it was so much fun. Hurt my arms headbanging off the railing bcs of course I did. Wish they'd done Devil's Face but we move.

Again, this building is listed and has no lift and im unsure if it has ramps. The complain in terms of my own access is that the disabled seats were just benches and when I asked for a seat with a back I was told there were none (fantastic for those of us with back problems, my ass had to get on the floor and stretch out bc of them shitty seats and in the end it was comfier to stand and move around). Chased it up with a complaint email and was told they do keep chairs with back support but this clearly wasnt communicated to the security team. That or the guy I asked just couldnt be bothered which....

First Aid Kit

First concert I'd been to completely alone and I'm super happy I'm at a point where I can do things more independantly. Their Support Lola Kirke was good, amazed that this woman was able to jump around and play guitar with her nipples only covered by stars, if I did that I'd hit myself in the face.

First aid kit themselves were so fucking good, I went in without having listened to the new album (got a signed copy while i was there tho hehe), it was a good gamble cos I cried the instant they walked out on that stage and performed Palomino. Visuals were my second fav after Queen's, they had shots of horses, fields, ocean, stuff like that it was super pretty. Cried at Lion's roar and some other songs, think thats the most ive cried at a gig so far. Enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would holy shit. That bitch was packed to the rafters and everyone lost their shit it was so fucking loud!!!

I had a seat in circle with a pretty good view considering I was kinda late into getting tickets cos i had no idea they were touring until about a month ago jkdbfvjhbhjb. This time the seats didnt make my back hurt which is a plus :D.

Final thoughts

I'm happy that I got to see everyone I did this year bcs it helps me work out what I like and dont like and what works for me. I wish venues would not make people prove theyre disabled just to get a fucking seat (particularly if its an a standing venue!!!) and doctors stop restricting access to shit we clearly need like I wouldnt bother asking if it wasn't essential :^). Your accessible seating is not accessible if it doesn't provide basic support lol!!!!

#wezza reports #i cba to read this over if theres mistakes we ball #disability #hyper mobility #queen #carpenter brut #nova twins #first aid kit #might add to later if i think of anything else

[sunnyxnala]

tuesday, 10/18/22

8am - i woke up, climbed out of bed, turned off my alarm, grabbed my phone, and went back to bed. i think it's pretty funny sometimes that the reason why i put my phone far away from my bed is so that i am forced to get out of bed and wake up, but i simply refuse. last night just had me in shambles and i didnt sleep until around 4am, so i slept through lectures today. luckily, i came to find that they were both cancelled and became asynch

12:30pm - i finally got up and got ready for the day. i met my roommate/bestie klaribell at reiber and we went to go get food. she got thai tea and churros from the europa ice cream truck, and we both got spam musubi from yuna's bob food truck. she also gave me a churro and let me drink her thai tea, so slay <3 afterwards, i headed back to my dorm to do some work before heading out to kerckhoff

3pm - i hung out at kerckhoff and talked to some friends there, we were also watching the squirrels doing silly squirrel things like stealing food from our bags and such. i got to know alan more which was really nice! we are planning to meet up again soon to hang out again

4:30pm - my boyfriend came by and said hello to the friends i was with at kerckhoff. we rode our scooters to ackerman where i was buying some snacks to finish a gift for jason's belated bday. i can't wait to give it to him! after we checked out ackerman, my boybae and i sat at SAC and talked until 6pm

6pm - i had dinner at bplate with ranen! he is a very fashionable person, and really fun to talk to too. i hope to hang out with him again someday. also, his plate stack was insane, props to him and that sea bass LOL

8pm - i worked out with friends at drake stadium again, only this time i pushed myself to run for a longer time than i could handle and my heart and brain felt like they were on fire sobs i will now bring my inhaler with me just in case bc i fr thought i was going to die for a second no cap. jason was kind enough to help me back to my dorm, which i am so grateful for sobs he is so kind. i felt so bad though because he was carrying my backpack and pushing my scooter up the hill and i know that is not easy

10pm - i got back to my dorm and lie on the floor for a bit just breathing. then i went to shower where i almost fell over sobs idk if its because im dehydrated or what but my head started feeling super heavy. all good now though! and now i will continue doing work for the rest of the night until i knock out </3

xoxo nala

[xoxo-teddybear]

The Silent Treatment - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: slight angst, slice of life, crack(ish?), fluff, cursing

Summary: Bakugou is very much....an asshole. A shithead. A professional dick if you will. And Y/N, being his girlfriend is very much aware of that. So when he takes it too far, she has to make sure he learns his lesson.

A/N: just a quick lil cute thing, totally not spelled check

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

“Hey babe!” Bakugou said as he walked into the living room to find his girlfriend reading a book. He plopped down next to her and just relaxed in the feeling of the soft cushion. The little shit felt like messing with his girlfriend today.

Y/N had already been having a pissy day. After arguing with her boss, forgetting a few items back at the grocery store, and losing her new pair of headphones, she just wanted some peace with her cup of tea and a good book. Now, she has her loving boyfriend to comfort her as well. This day was surely taking a turn...right?

“Hi love, need something?” You asked calmly with the most melodic voice. Your voice. His favorite sound in the world. The sound of you just put a smile on his face which is a huge oxymoron to what this motherfucker is about to say.

“Nah, just wanted to talk to my princess,” he said while resting his head on your stomach, resting in between your legs and wrapping his arms around your waist. You awed at him but didn’t notice his little devil smile. “I had the best dream last night.”

“About what Suki?” You asked while petting his soft hair.

“You.”

“Awweee,”

“Yeahhh. You went mute for the day. Fucking paradise.” Once the words left his mouth you stilled your actions and felt your eye twitch in annoyance. Your hand on his head stilled and slightly tugged at it. In any other circumstance, Bakugou would’ve groaned at the tug (kinky bastard) but he was too busy chuckling into your tummy.

You exhaled roughly through your nose and pushed Bakugou off of you in a very polite way. He rolled onto his back onto the actual couch and watched as you crossed your legs, close your book, and pick up your tea mug.

“Hmph!” Was all that you “said” as you tilted your nose to the air and walked away. Bakugou just snickered as you left. He thought it was adorable when you were mad over tiny inconveniences and thought it was hot as fuck when you were yelling at him, but today, you won’t be doing neither.

—

About 30 minutes had passed and Bakugou had awoken from his nap on the couch. He fell asleep after you walked away but now missed your touch. He sat up, stretched, and went to find you. He walked around the house until he spotted you relaxing in the jacuzzi in the backyard. He grinned at your relaxed look and went to change.

A few minutes later Bakugou had came out to join you in the hot tub. Your eyes were shut as you relaxed in the bubbling water, and so Bakugou was able to get in without being seen. He relaxed into the water as he scooted closer to you, eventually grabbing a hold of your waist.

“Hi baby,” he said as he attempted to place you in his lap but you looked at him with an unimpressed look as you scooted away. “Y/N?”

You grabbed your towel and stepped out of the tub. You wrapped yourself in the cloth as you walked back into the house, completely ignoring Bakugou as he spoke to you.

“Wha- you’re just gonna leave? I just got in with you,” he pouted. He opted to stay in the nice warm water for a bit but once you closed the door he groaned and sunk deeper into the water. He let the water go just above his mouth and right below his nose as he blew bubbles into the tub out of annoyance.

‘The fuck is up with her?’ He thought to himself.

—

Time passed and Bakugou came out the tub. He went back to his room to change into some gray sweats and a black long sleeve (and yes he pulled the sleeves up a bit because he knew you found it attractive and if y’all don’t, well I do).

He walked into the kitchen and spotted you seemingly eating dinner. He noticed a plate for him but kind of frowned at the fact that you didn’t wait for him. He saw you placed the plate on the other side of the island, far away from you, and so he pulled the plate over and took the seat next to you.

“Hey, princess? You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” He asked but you said nothing as you just ate in silence. “Silent treatment huh?” No words.

“Baby, is this about what I said? I was only kidding Y/N,” he said as he tried to wrap his arm around your waist but you pushed it off and he groaned. “Fine. Be that way, you’ll get over it. Come talk to me when you’re done acting like a brat.”

Bakugou just grunted as he ate his dinner in silence right next to you. You finished before him and walked away after you washed your dish and this time it was Bakugou who snubbed his nose in the air at you. If it was the silent treatment that you were gonna give then it was the silent treatment that you were gonna get....sorta.

—

“BABYYYY PLEASSEEEEE!!” He whined while poking at your leg. You were currently in your home office typing away at your computer doing work when Bakugou came in about 25 minutes after he finished his dinner. He couldn’t help himself. He missed you.

You continued to ignore Bakugou as he poked and shook you for attention. You gave him nothing all day and he was getting close to his limit. Please believe he wasn’t getting shit after that brat comment.

“Princessss, c’mon! It was a joke baby, let’s go to sleep, yeah?” He begged. You looked at him with a bored expression and saw his smile as you finally gave him something. You turned back to face your computer and his smile dropped again and was replaced with a scowl. “Y/N, I was just messing with you. I love the sound of your voice and I love you. So quit ignoring me and come give me love!” He demanded.

When he noticed you weren’t budging, he stood from his seat and pinched the bridge of his nose as he mentally counted.

‘1....2...3,’

He gave in and forcefully turned your chair and threw you over his shoulder. You didn’t speak to him but you squirmed and shook trying to get out of his grasp.

“Aye, aye,” he smacked your ass to get you to stop, “quit it. I’m tired, and I want sleep, and we both know I don’t sleep unless my teddy bear is with me, so shush.”

You looked at him when he told you to “shush.” As if you hadn’t been doing that all day. He just squinted his eyes as he knew what you were thinking. “You know what I mean shitty woman!”

Bakugou stormed into your shared bedroom and dropped you onto the mattress. You didn’t even try to run away. You had decided that, yes, you are indeed tired but you refused to give a certain blonde any attention. You stretched on the bed and Bakugou was in awe of your cute state but quickly snapped out of his trance when you turned on your side and gave him your back.

Bakugou got into bed along side you and scooted closer. He pressed himself against your back but once he made contact, you scooted farther away. And so, he scooted himself closer again but just like before, you scooted away. This went on about 2 more times before you scooted and fell off the bed.

“Y/N? You okay, love?” He asked as he looked down at you. You popped up from the floor, on your knees and grumbled to yourself as you vented quietly. You stood up and continued ranting as you tried to walk away to sleep on the couch but before you could get away from the king sized bed, Bakugou grabbed your wrist and pulled you on top of him. “Ignore me all you want but I’m not sleeping without my cuddles.”

You sighed as you gave in. You allowed him to hold you but you refused to speak. Bakugou rubbed circles onto your back as he inhaled your scent but he missed the sound of your voice. The sweet sound that was something similar to honey.

“Baby...I’m sorry.”

You looked at him when he apologized and raised your brow. A verbal, genuine, apology from Katsuki Bakugou? This you’ve gotta see.

“I know I shouldn’t have said that to you and even if I was only kidding......it was pretty fucking mean. ..But I hope you know I love the sound of your damn voice. I love you, dumbass. And I would never ask you to stay silent because....*sigh* ‘cuz your voice, you talking to me, you being with me, and just you in general keeps me sane. So I’m sorry. Okay? And I love you..” he said with a growing blush as he stared at you with a flustered face.

You smiled and went up to peck his lips and then give him a loving kiss. He jumped at the sudden contact but quickly melted into the kiss. He smiled as he finally got to revel in the sweet intimate moments like this. The sweet moments he’s been missing all day.

“I love you too Suki.” Oh how he craved to hear your voice. He loved the sweet sound and missed your loving tone. He pulled you in closer and just held you tight. He doesn’t plan on letting go.

“I’m so sorry. I will never make you upset like that ever again.” He bargained but you only shook your head.

“Katsuki, I was just messing with you today. I had an annoying day and that little joke just sent me over the edge but you know I never take your mean quips to heart. You’re rough around the edges but that’s just who you are and I don’t mind it. I love everything about you, even if you’re a jerk sometimes,” you teased and flicked at his nose. You giggled as he whined and tried to soothe the spot you hit. “You don’t have to censor yourself around me. Okay?”

Bakugou smiled even more. He loves you so damn much. Not only did you know he was just a little abrasive, but you accepted him for all his brunt behavior. You truly did love him. “Thanks princess,”

He sealed the deal with a sweet kiss to your temple as you giggled at the warm feeling of his soft lips. He pulled you down to his chest as you both cuddled up for the night. You sleeping is the only time Bakugou will ever be okay with you being silent. But never again will he ever allow himself to get the silent treatment.

A/N: Guys, I’m so sorry. I’ve been in such a slump and I feel like im reaching a writers block. It’s not even like I don’t have any ideas, I do! And I even have multiple unfinished pieces in my drafts but I just don’t have any motivation to finish :( sorry Cubs, don’t worry, I’ll try my best to finish them as quick as I can. Idk, should I take a break?

I’m already in the middle of a story and I don’t wanna leave those who are reading on a cliffhanger.

#bakugo x reader #bakugou fanfiction #bakugou imagine #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x y/n #bnha #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha #bakugou fluff #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #katsuki x reader #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou #mha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #my hero academia #my hero academia bakugou #bnha bakugo x reader #mha bakugo x reader #bakugou angst #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo angst #boku no hero bakugou #my hero bakugo #mha kacchan #mha katsuki #bnha katsuki

[spyoikawa]

still on that saiki k brainrot so hear me out-

metori, saiki, teruhashi, aren and hairo with an s/o who really loves to bake/cook-

no thoughts just Reader learning how to make coffee jelly for saiki (like maybe they make him a tower of coffee jelly for an anniversary or his birthday-). no thoughts just Reader cooking something for metori who pretends to not want to eat it cause it’s ‘peasant food’ but ends up really enjoying their cooking. no thoughts just cooking/baking date with teruhashi. no thoughts just teaching aren how to cook/bake and having a food trade with him, bringing him lunch/a snack to school. and no thoughts just hairo hyping Reader up while they cook/bake and making stuff for him to bring to class rep meetings-

thank you! <3

the excitement I got got I saw teruhasi- i don't see a lot of writing for her and I get happy when I get to do less than common things! Thanks!

I'm running low on creative juices, so please I hope you don't mind if I use the exact scenarios you suggested 💀

Note: some of the things I wrote felt really rude so please don't mind the tone tags in parentheses, also i have not edited this yet

Saiki, Teruhasi, Hairo, Aren, and Saiko with an S/O who can cook/bake

♡romantic♡

Saiki Kusuo (italics = saiki telepathy)

Although it was undeniably tasty, your boyfriend's obsession with coffee jelly was not only getting out of hand but also quite expensive-

I mean he spent 3,000 yen for one serving-

But yanno what it's ok, coffee jelly is easy to make, and this gives you an excuse to hang out (not that you need one)

"Ok Ku, i had an idea"

I like it, just make sure you teach me how to do it too

"Rude. I wasn't finished"

You did in your head

As endearing as it could be sometimes, Saiki's mind-reading could be a pain occasionally

You wound me.

"Good. (/j)"

After a long debate over recipes and serving sizes, there it was, in all its glory, your first batches of coffee jelly

it was heaven

You did end up sharing the recipe with him, but it still became a little tradition to make the coffee jelly together

It just tastes better that way :)

Kokomi Teruhashi

In the midst of your TV and cuddles date, Kokomi huffed and turned off the TV

But of course it was rude to just turn off the TV, so she offered to play a board game instead

You did play with her, but your curiosity was begging as to why she wanted to change the activity

"Hey Kokomi, this game is fun, don't worry... but why'd you turn off the TV so suddenly?"

"Oh, it was nothing! I just thought you would like this game, and I wanted you to enjoy yourself more!"

Now, that's the answer the most perfect girl in the world would give

But Kokomi is still human, there's gotta be something wrong

You spent a while thinking to yourself about what you were watching, you two agreed on a documentary, then after the documentary, the channel played a cooking show with a guest baker/cook Makoto Teruhashi- oh.

So that was it

At the end of the round, you stood up and offered your hand to pull up Kokomi with you.

"Hey, wanna make a bet?"

She looked up with a bit of curiosity.

"I bet you, I can make your favorite dish, far better than Makoto can"

She smiled a bit, "sure!"

Her favorite food was simple, so you taught her to cook it and added in some other things just for fun (and so she can't recreate it without your secret ingredients)

Now you guys have cooking dates often and always find ways to spice up foods (and beat Makoto at whatever he was doing on tv)

Hairo Kineshi

my thoughts and prayers go to you

we all saw what happened when he tried to make crepes

but in his mind, it was a learning opportunity

You guys were taking an after-school stroll, the weather was really nice, it would be a shame if you two just went home and did nothing. Walks like these tend to get sentimental and nostalgic, so your conversation subconsciously started to drift towards school life.

"And do you remember that time we had to get kuboyasu, kaido, and nendo to play on a baseball team? Oh my god thank god it didn't go too poorly, that one player really pulled through at the end..." you laughed out

"Haha I do remember that, I can't believe we got them to play, it really could've gone worse" He smiled as he remembered that day, but then his eyes drifted up to a bakery across the road. "Speaking of poor experiences..."

after he explained to you he and kaido's crepe disaster, you couldn't help but tease fun at him for a bit

but you did agree to teach him more about cooking and baking

he's a bit too passionate about cracking eggs, but hey, at least you can work faster

after many, many burnt crepes and pans, there it was, a fallen appart, incorrectly folded, but still a properly cooked crepe sat there in all its beauty

it kinda looked like this

Although he does learn many different things with you, crepes will be the thing he makes over and over again, even when he has it down to a science, just because it's the first thing you taught him, and he will keep that sweet memory forever (get it. sweet? Cause crepes? Im funny i swear.)

Aren Kuboyasu

He actually knows how to cook pretty well

He's not really sure when he picked up cooking, its kinda just stuck around, but he enjoys it, it makes him seem more goody

and he can treat you :)

I will die on my "aren lives for the most basic/domestic activities hill"

cooking with him is always an experience, he will play music in the background, and pull you aside to dance at random times

also does that really hot thing where he stands behind you, reaches around to hold your hands, and basically has you in a cage while showing you how to do something

it's one of those spontaneous things to do, if there's nothing else to do, might as well make something to eat

firm believer in "if you have to eat to live, you might as well eat delicious foods" so he will always try out new things with you if its healthy and tasty

"bab look at this show" you called out from where you were sitting, there was a cooking show/food documentary on, and it was showing a special food. "it says this chicken has a secret sauce they dip it in"

he walked over to the tv and watched it for a couple seconds, thinking a bit.

"...wanna figure it out?"

"yes. I'll make the chicken if you figure out the sauce?"

"deal."

will you ever know if you got the secret sause? Nope, but you did figure out a chicken recipe that is good as hell

he probably writes down all the recipes you "invented" together for safekeeping and so he can return to it later, but he refuses to show it to anyone

Saiko Metori

as much as I love him, we all saw in that one episode how picky he is while eating, and is probably a bitch to please while cooking/baking

so after a lot of convincing, you got him to sit in the kitchen with you so he can watch you bake for the two of you

in reality, all you have to do is give the dish a fancy rich-sounding name, you just have to be really careful with what you say

like this 💀

you decided to bake for him today, baking is a lot more "by the book" than cooking, so you thought he would take a bit of comfort in knowing it was done in a professional way

"alright tori, so I think I'll make a heavy pastry made with fine cacao and extracts, baked into a rich dessert for a fine sweet palette"

"you're making brownies aren't you"

"🧍‍♂️"

Told you, you have to be as specific as possible

He does eventually get interested in what you're doing though, as he never really sees his personal chef cook, and wants to help you by the end

He really did enjoy it! It quickly became one of his favorite treats

But funny enough, no matter how many bakeries he tried or how many times his chef tried, they never tasted the same

(you put in special spices as your own little mark on the treat)

so he ends up having you over for more cooking dates

Which he really does enjoy btw

as a tsundere he will look all annoyed and probably call you a plebe, but these are his favorite types of dates

#saiko metori #saiko x reader #metori x reader #kuboyasu x reader #saiki x reader #teruhashi x reader #hairo x reader #saiki k hcs #kuboyasu hcs #hairo hcs #saiki hcs #saiko hcs #teruhashi hcs