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#its going to be bad. its going to be messy. its going to hurt your eyes. and its going to be fun.
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You Call It Madness But I Call It Love
Chapter 15: What Do You Know About Love?
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Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV
Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter fifteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)
Word Count: 6.5K (I got carried away again)
Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Angst, Crying,  Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.
Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!
Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
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Present Day *Reader POV*
The shopping bags that hung from your arms would have been heavy for the average person, but for you it seemed like a bag full of pillows. It was the day after you saw Rosemary and said goodbye. Despite the almost excruciating hangover you had this morning, because it'd been almost forty years since you last had a drink, you dragged yourself to the mall to try and find outfits for your trip to Russia. You were satisfied with the few outfits you found, but you were worried because the plane left in a few hours and you were no where near ready.
Mentally or physically.
As much as you wanted to go help Ben, you still were apprehensive about the whole situation, not just about going in blind, but wondering what the hell you were going to do when you saw Ben. You wanted to hold on to your anger, but you were afraid that the moment you looked into his green eyes you would forgive him.
I am not going to forgive him. I'm going to break him out then tell him to fuck off and I never have to see him ever again.
Despite your apprehension, you knew that you had to do this, that you had to go help him even if you still hated him because you couldn't bear the thought of the boy you grew up with being tortured over there all alone. It was the alone part that hurt the most. You knew how much Ben hated being alone. He never had to say it out loud, but all the time you'd spent together in your bedroom before and after the injection spoke volumes.
Of course you still had no idea where you were going, but figured that if you went to the Kremlin you could get some answers, which meant you'd either have to lie your way in or just kill anyone in your path. Which would be messy, but necessary. You try to shake off the guilt of exposing yourself again and what that could mean for Rosemary and Lou. You made sure that Rosemary knew to pack a bag for herself and for Lou and told her to wait for your call.
You wanted to be there to escort them out of the city, didn't want to split up and have them get snagged while you were waiting for them at the rendezvous point, so you told Rosemary to take a few days off and lay low.
When you get to the outside door of your apartment building toting the bags, you notice that it's been broken, as if someone tried to pull it off its hinges.
Well that's great. Hopefully the building manager noticed that.
Your mind drifts back to Ben as you step into the elevator.
What if he isn't alive when I get there? It was an unwelcome thought, but it meant that you wouldn't have to talk to him.
 Maybe if I knock him out when I get there and just leave him in a Russian motel somewhere, I won't have to talk to him. You pause. Will he want to talk to me? 
The memory of the last time you spoke flashes through your mind bringing an unmeasurable amount of rage and heartbreak back over your body. The dam you built to keep out everything that happened was reaching capacity, especially given the recent events with Countess, and you knew that the moment you saw Ben it was going to burst open. You hoped that you'd be able to keep it together long enough to get out of the lab or wherever the hell he was being held, before you lost it. But it was doubtful.
As you walk down the hallway to you apartment, you notice that your front door is open and you stop walking. Apprehension spikes at the back of your mind as you examine the door. The lock is broken and  door is cracked just enough for you to hear people talking inside in hushed tones. You creep forward and look through the crack.
You've got to be kidding me. You groan to yourself noticing Butcher and Hughie standing in your living room.
Great. Just what I need. Right when I'm going to leave they show up. Guess that explains the mystery of the broken door downstairs.
You think about walking away, of going back down the elevator and hoping that by the time you come back they would be gone, but you knew you had to face them and you still had to pack. So you push open the front door of your apartment and step into the room.
"You know when I called saying that I had something else to say about Soldier Boy, I assumed you would call, not break into my apartment." You sigh before moving to the right side of the counter that divides the room between the living room and the kitchen and depositing the shopping bags on the stainless steel top.
"Maybe you shouldn’t leave your apartment unlocked poppet. Anyone could walk in." Butcher replies with a grin.
"Hmm. Sure. You guys here for more coffee?"
"Go shopping did you?" Butcher ignores your snark eyeing the bags.
"Yeah I needed a few new outfits for my art show next month." The lie is easy, but you know that the sudden appearance of the two of them probably meant you were caught red handed. Of course now with everything that happened with Countess, you didn't care anymore if Butcher and Hughie knew who you really were. "You doing okay there Hughie?" You raise an eyebrow as you notice how his heartbeat has spiked since you entered the apartment.
"Good." He says, but he looks uneasy.
Well, guess he's afraid of me now.
"Huh. And here I thought you were replacing your jacket." Butcher throws your ruined jacket onto the floor between you.
You look from the jacket to Butcher. You hadn't bought a replacement and hadn't wanted to throw it out. You were still hoping that the scorch marks looked like you had "distressed" it. It didn't and you knew that, but you loved that coat so much.
"See, I think it’s a big coincidence that Countess got right fucked after we came and talked to you." Butcher smiles.
"Probably the same coincidence as Gunpowder dying before you showed up here the first time." You breeze with a tight-lipped smile.
Where was he going with this? Was he here to kill me? You think about what Legend said about Butcher killing supes.
"That looks bad." Butcher gestures to the jacket. "You have a little spat with your good friend?”
"Let's just say she said a few things that upset me." Your eyes skate from Butcher to Hughie sizing them up. "If you're here to kill me, you're welcome to try. Oh sorry,  'arrest me'." You make air quotes around the words. "But we both know you're not government agents, you reek of Compound V and the last time I checked there was that whole, no supes in the government thing."
"Wouldn't it have been easier to get this out of the way the first time?" Hughie asks.
"I didn't want to be involved." You shrug your shoulders.
"Then why you'd buy a plane ticket to Russia?" Butcher takes a step towards you, but you hold your ground.
You weren't afraid of him.
"I hear it's nice this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold. Very pleasant." You snap back at him eyes narrowed, before you look down at the antique watch on your wrist. "Look I'd love to have a heart to heart, but I just don't have time to do this little dance with you. So we can either get to the part where you try to kill me or-" You raise your gaze from the watch to glare back at Butcher, but then your eyes focus on the hallway behind him and your heart stops.
Ben is standing there in the shadows looking at you the same way he always has, with those wonderful piercing green eyes that makes all other memories of them be put to shame. He's dressed in modern clothes, wearing a dark green shirt that hugs his perfect muscular chest and is the same color of his suit, your favorite color and the one you can never look at without thinking of him because damn it, it's also the color of his eyes. He looks the same, but different. His hair is longer and darker than it was the last time you saw him and his cheeks are covered by a trimmed but thick beard. It was unusual given that you'd never seen him with more than just a little bit of stubble and annoying because it makes him look even more ruggedly handsome, but despite the piercing way his eyes follow you, you can see a haunting memory of the last forty years.
You're upset that the one of the first thoughts you'd had beside staring at him open mouthed is that you wished you were wearing something more flattering than one of your pairs of paint splattered overalls over an old band t-shirt. You were going to Russia to get him and yes maybe you were shopping for things that you could move in, but you had picked out a particular revenge outfit that you believed would make Ben regret everything he did to you and also might have been paired with a particularly badass set of boots that made your legs look very long. The outfit that made you feel beautiful and sexy was unlike the one you were wearing at the moment. Also because you hadn't brushed your hair today and had just stuck it up in a messy bun at the back of your head.
You're struck with the urge to run to him and kill him at the same time, but you can't move and you can’t think.
Apart of you believed that you would find him dead in Russia, a sad thought but it meant that you wouldn't have to relive everything all over again. Everything that went to shit the last 24 hours you spent together that you relived with Countess the other day and now you were reliving when you looked at him standing there looking better than he should.
Because damn it, only Ben could be tortured in a lab for the past 40 years and walk away looking like a GQ model. I've never hated anyone more.
"Ben?" Your voice is no more than a hoarse whisper.
Ben pushes past Hughie and Butcher, taking careful steps towards you like he doesn't want to scare you away. "Y/n." The sound of your name on his lips fills you with an inescapable amount of warmth.
Traitor. You think to yourself at your body’s reaction.
He's standing so close to you now that you can smell the same shampoo and aftershave he always used and it brings back memories of the nights he spent in your bed with you laughing and talking like nothing had changed making you feel alive again for the first time in forty years. Before everything went into the blender set to puree.
Ben's eyes trace your body like he can't believe you're standing in front of him making you wish again that you're wearing the outfit you picked out so that you could look as good as he does. And just as he raises his hand towards your face you remember why you hated him, remember that night, remember what Countess said that caused her to lose her head.
Your hand flashes out so quick you don't think Ben notices it until it lands with a resounding slap against his cheek that sends him reeling back from you. Your strengths were similar, almost identical, and if he hadn't been invulnerable it would have ripped his perfect jaw from his face.
"What the fuck was that for?" Ben snaps, green eyes blazing as he looks back at you.
"You've got some nerve coming back here after all these years." You spit, the anger rising in your chest with wings of fury that beat against your ribcage. "Did you really think that you could just say my name again and make me forget everything that happened Benjamin? I am not one of those trashy women that you used to fuck and the fact that you think you can show up here, give me the fucking puppy dog eyes, and think that I’ll swoon, is ridiculous!”
There goes the dam.
Your gaze levels on Hughie and Butcher who look just as stunned. "And you two. Why did you bring him here? I didn’t want any part of this!”
"Why did you pretend to be dead!" Hughie shouts back.
"Did you think that maybe that was me trying to tell you that I didn't want to be involved? Or are you two just that fucking stupid?"
"Why did you buy a plane ticket then?" Butcher asks again, raising an eyebrow.
Ben is watching you with anger burning in his eyes. It's difficult for you to look at him. Every time you do you think about your last night together, the morning after when he pushed you away, and finally the night where he ripped out your heart and stomped all over it.
How did I ever think I could look at him again when I got him out of Russia?
"Because even though I hate him. He doesn't deserve that. The Ben I knew would have come to get me, and I wasn't going to leave him to rot in some fucking Russian prison." You snap back. "Now get out of my apartment."
"Sweetheart-" Ben begins to say.
"No. No. No. I don't want to hear it from you. Nothing you can say can make this better. I’m glad you’re free or whatever, but go. Get out." You push past him, but Ben's hand flashes out and grabs your wrist with enough force that you feel the bruising of your skin.
"No." He towers over you.
"Let. Me. Go." Your eyes narrow shifting to bright purple. The entire room begins to tremble, the glass windows shake in their panes and the glass jars full of paint brushes on your studio table begin to clink against one another. But he doesn't remove his hand.
"Not until you listen." Ben's own green eyes have hardened into a emerald.
You latch onto the wrist that is holding you and break his grip, before spinning and throwing him backward across the room away from you. Ben's body flies past Hughie and Butcher who watch with wide eyes as he hits the back of the couch and pinwheels over it with a loud thud as he lands on the cushions. You would have rather thrown him into the brick living room wall, but you restrained yourself.
"I don't want to hear anything you have to say Benjamin. You said enough that night and apparently you were saying lots of things to Countess about me. So get out." Your eyes skate across Butcher and Hughie. "All of you."
Hughie is still watching you with wide eyes, like he can't believe that just happened.
Join the club kid.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ben shouts, standing from the couch and straightening his clothes. You don't need to be a psychic to know how angry he is. In fact, you're surprised he's not throwing you out the window or at least throwing a punch. Ben didn't tolerate it when anyone put him in his place and it definitely looks like it's taking him an extreme amount of effort not to attack you, given the way his hands are clenched into fists and the way his jaw is tensed so tightly you can see the muscle flexing.
"She told me what you said about me. That you threw me a pity fuck because you felt sorry for me, that you were bored when we had sex because I was so inexperienced."
"It's not true."
"Isn’t it?" You're trying desperately not to cry, but the angry tears have already begun to well up in your eyes. "The last thing you sad to me was that I was pathetic and that you never would love me, never could love me. That you fucked me because you felt bad for me and you wished I would just fuck off. That I was just another warm pussy and that I meant nothing to you. So forgive me for not believing you."
"Oh shit." Butcher mutters under his breath.
"Damn." Hughie echoes.
"I know what I said to you, Y/n. I've spent the past 40 years regretting it-" Ben begins to say, but you interrupt him.
"Oh I'm so sure. The Great Soldier Boy actually has a conscience, let me just alert the media." You spit back. "Oh wait, sorry you wouldn't want that getting out would you Ben? Because that would mean you aren't a man."
"Y/n-" He growls.
"You don't get to come in here and apologize and act like you did nothing wrong. You're not here because you feel sorry, you're here because you want me to dote on you, to follow you around and give a shit like I did for 40 fucking years.”
“Y/n-“
"Stop saying my name like that!" You shout and the glass sugar dish on the counter flies off the counter and smashes into the floor sending shards of glass everywhere.
Hughie flinches.
"Like what?" Ben exclaims.
"Like you care." You cross your arms over your chest staring him down because you don't want to keep crying.
"I do fucking care about you-" Ben snaps running his hand through his dark hair frustrated.
"No you don't. You never did. You’ve made that perfectly clear.”
"Yes I do."
"Please stop talking."
"What else do you want me to say?" Ben shouts back, moving towards you. "I'm trying to fucking apologize-"
"I don't want you to say anything and I don't want to hear your half-assed apology! I want you to leave. You and your creepy friends." You gesture back to where Hughie and Butcher are watching with open mouths, who are unsure if they should leave or watch the show.
"They're not my friends."
"And neither am I! Which means I don’t have to listen to anything you have to say!”
"Y/n please-" His teeth are gritted together.
“I'm not some fangirl Ben. I was your friend, your friend before any of this. Before any of this fucking supe shit. I cared about you. I had been in love with you since I was 8. I had taken care of you since the night we met." More tears squeeze down your cheeks as a lifetime of happy memories before everything went down the drain wash over you. The wonderful times you'd shared together at the park, in your bedroom back in Philadelphia, dancing in the dancehall,  at baseball games and Ben walking you home all the while you wobbled down the street drunkenly and sang off key. All the blissful little moments that you thought maybe he felt the same way about you and then followed by the moments you spent together the night of your birthday, when you felt more special and loved than you'd ever had. It makes the knife he stuck in your back even sharper. 
"That night we spent together meant everything to me. I thought it was special and I thought you loved me. But you don't. You just fucked me because you were bored and you found the first person who said yes.” Your body turns away, but he grabs you by the shoulders to make you look at him.
"I do love you damnit!" He shouts. "I didn't want to-" Ben's jaw clenches in frustration, looking back at Butcher and Hughie. "Can you two just fuck off?"
"I wish you all would." You say, trying to loosen his grip on your shoulders, but he doesn't let go. You think about throwing him across the room again, because it made you feel a lot better.
"Fine. We'll be outside." Butcher says tugging Hughie away.
"Are you sure?" Hughie asks looking from you to Ben as if he's worried to leave the two of you alone.
"You want to be here? Because they're either going to kill each other or start fucking." Butcher responds.
"We are not going to start-" You begin, but they're already out the front door of your apartment leaving you alone with Ben, who is still holding on to your shoulders.
"Please listen to me." Ben says looking deep into your eyes. "When you said that you loved me it-" He stops looking for the right word as if he can't say the next ones that come out of his mouth. "Oh fuck it, it fucking scared me. Okay?  It scared me, Y/n, and damnit I'm not a pussy! I'm not afraid of anything!"
“Oh no you could never be a pussy could you? Soldier Boy could never admit that he had real feelings for someone.” Your voice wobbles, tears trailing down your cheeks as you poke him in the chest to emphasize every word. “And now you’re just saying what I want to hear, because you want to have another quick fuck!” You push your hands against his chest trying to push him off of you, but he won't let go. "You're just saying it because its been forty years since you had sex and you thought, huh might as well find the most pathetic person I know, Y/n won't say no if I pretend to be everything she wanted again."
He doesn't mean it. He doesn't love me.
"I’m not lying to you! And I’m not pretending! I wasn't pretending that night either!” Ben roars so loudly you flinch. “That night I felt things with you that I had never felt with anyone else. It wasn't cheap sex or a quick fuck-" His jaw tightens as if he's embarrassed to admit it. "Damn it.” His teeth are gritted together. “We made love. I understood that when I woke up the next morning and I was happy to be there with you. I knew that I loved you and I wanted to tell you, but I fucked it all up instead. I fucked Countess because I was scared of what loving you meant. But I’m ready now, I’m not scared anymore. I love you!”
He's saying everything you always wanted him to, but you're scared. Scared that he's just saying it, that he thinks it's what you want to hear and this is the only way that he can get you back into his life because he needs someone to follow him around, because he can't be alone.
You stand there for a minute taking in his stance. His head is slightly bowed in shame, shoulders tight, body leaning towards you. But then you catch his eye, you see the sorrow, frustration, and pain in his gaze. Ben was not big on sharing feelings and for him to admit all of these things aloud was shocking enough without the obvious emotions flashing in his eyes. It was so different than the stoic or pissed off attitude he usually had when he was Soldier Boy. The look in his eyes is so earnest and Ben has never been a good liar, not to you anyway. You always knew what he was thinking.
If I forgive him then what does that mean? I forget the past 40 years like they never happened? I forget all the tears when he broke my heart? Forget how broken I was? How broken I still am?
You think of all the times you missed him, all the times you forgot about what he said to you and remembered the good, all the times you wanted him there with you and Rosemary because you knew he would love to be there. All the early memories together, all the missions, everything that lead up to the falling out and Ben’s supposed death. Ben's admission of guilt and his confession of love for you was shocking. Especially because the Ben you knew 40 years ago would have rather dropped dead than say the words "make love."
No. I won't give in. I can't do this, I can't do this all over again. I was better, I was moving on, he doesn't have the right to come here and mess up my life all over again.
"No." You shout, shoving him away with all your strength. Ben stumbles backward, his eyes wide as if he wasn't expecting you to push him away, because of course he wasn't. “You don’t know anything about love. You’re just saying that because you know it’s what I want to hear, what I’ve always wanted you to say to me.”
He still doesn't understand how much he hurt me. And he doesn't deserve my forgiveness.
“I’m not just saying that, it’s true. Please y/n-“
"I don't believe you. And when I said I never wanted to see you ever again I wasn't lying. So get out Ben!" You shout.
"No. I love you and I'm not leaving." Ben says back determined.
You weren't prepared for what those words did to you. You weren't prepared for the floodgate of emotions that exploded the moment those words passed through his lips or the way it felt like you were being tugged in two different directions. Because despite wanting to throw him across the room again, those three little words made you want to run into his arms and hold him close, made you want him to take you to bed and make you forget all the shitty things that happened forty years ago, make it like he never left.
But you couldn't do it. As much as you wanted to forgive him, you couldn't because you didn't trust him anymore, you didn't trust that he could give you what you wanted.
“Too bad! I won’t do this to myself again. All I did was care about you, help you. I stood by you and made excuses for the person you became and I held on to this picture of the boy you used to be. The one I fell in love with. The one that used to climb in my window when things were hard. The one that took me to my first baseball game. The one who danced with me. The one that made me feel like less of a freak because he understood me. And the one that begged me to leave Howard and everything I knew and come with him. That night we were together I saw that boy again.  I loved that boy. I would have done anything for him and I did. But he’s not here anymore. And I hate myself for holding on to him as long as I did.”
"But I told you I loved you!" Ben exclaims.
“Just saying that isn’t enough, not after everything that happened!” You shout. "You're forty years too late Benjamin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m exhausted and I’m going to go to bed. And I don’t want you to be here when I wake up.”
"Y/n please-" You hate how he sounds when he says it, like he's broken, because Ben has never once sounded that way in all the years you'd known him. You hate how he looks. How his dark hair is falling forward into his face and he looks so much like the boy you used to love that it makes you want to scream, because you wanted to believe that he was gone, but all you see when you look up at him is that boy. There is not one shred of Soldier Boy in the way he looks right now and you hate that. You hate that you wanted to forgive him, that all it took was him looking like at you like that. But you still can't do it.
"Just go." Your throat thickening as you say it, fresh tears trailing down your cheeks. "I don't want you here. I never want you to come here ever. I never want to see you again.” You lie pushing past him and walk down the dark hallway, slamming and locking your bedroom door behind you. Your body sinks to the floor as you pull your knees up into your chest, sobs shaking your body and tears pour from your eyes.
How many tears can I spend on one man? How do I still have any left after all these years? How could I have been stupid to think that I was over him? That I could just go to Russia, break him out, and then push him out of my life so easily? None of what just happened was easy.
Your face presses into your knees. You want to call Rosemary, call her and tell her what happened, but your phone is still on the counter and you couldn't go back out there, because you knew he was still there. Standing in your living room looking too perfect after all these years and saying all the things you always wanted him to and you don’t want to go out there and forgive him.
So you stay. Your back pressed against the door, crying into your knees and hoping that this will just all end.
Because it’s got to one day right?
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*Soldier Boy POV*
He hadn't meant to reach for you, but all he wanted was to feel the gentle swell of your cheek beneath the palm of his hand, the smoothness of your skin against his rough fingertips, and to memorize the planes of your face with his touch. You were even more beautiful than he remembered. Your curves perfectly accentuated by a pair of cute paint splattered overalls that made him smile, and your hair pulled away from your face in a messy bun but still made you look effortless and striking. When he saw you standing there, it was like taking a punch to the gut. He knew that he missed you, but seeing you there warm and alive made him want to crush you against his chest and never let you go ever again.
He had laid himself bare before you, allowing himself to push through the urge  to shove all his emotions back beneath the surface as his father taught him, and spoke, instead, the words he wished that he had said all those years ago.
Ben's shoulders tense when he thinks of what you shouted back at him, how broken you looked. His heart falls into the pit of his stomach when he remembers the tears in your eyes. Ben hated it when you cried. He also hated that the first time he saw you in forty years he made you cry, again.
He didn't know how to fix this. Ben thought that his apology would be enough to make you at least try to forgive him, but it hadn't. You had shoved him away from you, refused to let him touch you or comfort you-
Why is she so damn stubborn? I apologized! I told her that I loved her! Isn’t that what she wanted?
He grits his teeth together thinking about how you threw him across the room like he weighed nothing. If anyone else had done that to him, Ben would have killed them, but he knew that he deserved it. He knew you would be mad, but he thought that you would at least want to hear everything he had to say instead of cursing him out and slamming the door in his face.
When you slammed your door behind you, he had stood outside of it for an hour listening to you cry, heard your soft muffled sobs. At one point he leaned his head against the door and wished you would let him in so he could hold you while you cried, even though the thought made him feel like a pussy. He wanted to comfort you. He wished you had forgiven him, allowed him to take you to bed, allowed him to show you how sorry he was and how much he loved you. He wished that you let him help you forget the last shitty forty years that you spent without him, forget what he said and what he did to you that night. 
The harsh words you yelled at him make him flinch, when you told him that you didn't want him there and never wanted him to come back. They were the words that he always feared you would say to him when he climbed in through your window at night or when he showed up at your apartment when you were still on Payback. And hearing you say those words felt worse than anything those Russian fucks did to him. Because Ben didn't know where he belonged if he wasn't with you, he didn't know what to do if you weren't in his life, you were the only thing that mattered.
How could I fuck this up this much?
Ben looks back at the clock on the wall in the kitchen which shows he'd been there for three hours waiting for you to come out of your room, but you hadn't. He knew it was because you fell asleep, he could hear your heart beat, your soft breath against the pillows, and the almost silent sounds you made when you slept. They were exactly the same as when he would fall asleep next to you and damn it he didn't realize how much he missed them until this exact moment.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How do I fucking fix this?
Ben stands from the couch and walks down the hallway for the millionth time to stand outside your door preparing to knock, but he didn't know what to say. He thought that he'd said enough, but judging by your reaction he hadn't.
The thought of saying anything else was difficult for him to swallow. It was hard enough to say what he had to you, but he was realizing he was going to have to delve even deeper to make you even look at him again or want to be around him. 
Finally he goes to the front door of your apartment before he looks back down the hallway. He didn't want to leave, didn't want you to wake up and him not be there despite what you said about wanting him to leave. He wanted you to understand that he wasn't going anywhere and that he was never going to leave you ever again no matter how hard you tried to push him away. But he needed to leave now, not for long, just long enough for him to get what he needed.
He had seen the florist shop on the corner when Butcher drove up. As Ben walked down the street in the direction of the florist he remembered the conversation he had with Butcher after you slammed your door in his face. Convincing Butcher to let him remain in the apartment was difficult, but finally when Ben threatened to rip Hughie in half, Butcher relented stating that he would give Ben one night with you before he came back. That was the deal anyway, Ben had lied, because like hell he was going to leave now that he'd found you again.
Ben wasn't planning on leaving and  even if you couldn't stand to look at him, Ben would not go. Even if it meant sleeping on that shitty couch every night.
He would never leave you again.
The smell of the flowers wafted out of the small shop when Ben opens the door, his eyes skating across the numerous bouquets, each one more extravagant than the last. Other women would swoon over them, but not you. His eyes fall first on roses, but he turns away. He knew that you didn’t like roses, although many believed them to be classic, Ben knew that you thought over the years that roses had become generic and overused. He of course had sent some to numerous women over the years, but he liked that you were different. He always liked that about you. He rolls his eyes when he remembered when Howard bought you some every week.
Because of course that asshole didn’t know what y/n liked. No one knows her as well as me.
The man behind the counter eyes him when he walks in. "Can I help you find something sir?"
"No." Ben says gruffy looking at the displays again, but then he sighs. "Do you have any lavender?"
"Lavender?"
"Yeah." Ben knew it was the only thing that you would accept, knew that it was your favorite because it reminded you of the house your family rented over the summers up North. Ben hated those summers. He'd break into your bedroom and sleep in your bed while thinking of you and reading the letters you sent him over and over again, the ones that you pressed fresh lavender into and the ones that made him realize just how much he needed you.
Those of course weren’t the only letters you ever sent him. When he went to boarding school he’d wait for you to send him a letter and one of your doodles or a small painting. He kept every one in a cigar box under his bed. It was why he was kicked out of boarding school number nine, a fight he had with another student began because the student had found the box and then proceeded to mock Ben endlessly by passing around the letters you sent him. Ben had never told you what the fight was about.
Ben stops as he realizes how he’s going to get you to listen to him.
“Here you are sir.” The florist reappears at the counter holding a large vase of freshly cut lavender.
“Do you have a phone I can borrow?” Ben asks.
“Sure.”
The object the man hands him is not a phone, well not a phone that Ben’s ever seen before.
“I said a phone-“
“That is a phone?” The man looks confused.
“How do I fucking call someone with this?” Ben sighs shaking the black rectangle in his hand and looking for the buttons.
The man takes the object and swipes his fingers across it before handing it back to him so Ben can see the numbers to dial. “Just push what you want and hit the green button.” The man says, looking at Ben like he's crazy.
“Oh. Thanks.” He mutters, before dialing the number and holding the phone up to his ear.
Legend answers on the first ring.
“Hey it’s me. Do you still have all my old shit from my apartment?”
“Somewhere.”
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
******************************************
N/A: Why not end on a cliffhanger? This chapter is a bit longer, because this week is CRAZY for me and I'm not sure when I'll be able to write the next chapter. But I'm not giving up on these two. They deserve the world.
Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you guys think. If you'd like to be added to my taglist, please let me know :)
Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303 @deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs @bughill126 @simplyfixated @sleepjam @tiredstrangerr @freefallthoughts @onlyangel-444 @lov3vivian @mxltifxnd0m @mayafatimakhan @marvel-mistress @my-obsession-spn @lifeonawhim @soldirboy @liuope @brynanna @abramswife @xxannyxx @babyinatrench-coat1 @the-gentle-spirit
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Personally I don't trust the Axolotl. A mysterious cosmic *apparently*-loving-and-understanding being who almost never interferes with the happenings of the multiverse, who has power to set the terms of when someone is "absolved of their crime?" Sounding a little too much like the kind of god I was told about in christian sunday school if you ask me 🤨
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xo-cod · 6 months
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141 + reader
hc's when you five share the barracks together/just in general <3 (ooc, rushed my bad lmao, can be read platonically/romantically, reader is v close to them!!) kinda long oops 😩 might do a part 2 idk
nsfw version 🩷
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there's a whole lot of testosterone and musk in the air when you're sharing living spaces with 4 men ‼️
all four men compete with each other to get your attention, even if it's unknowingly
whole lotta pouting when you're spending time with more man than the other, you're a great companion ;) and the army is lonely. they all need equal love and attention
speaking of, if you're smelling like one of them the other will immediately bundle you in his arms to put his scent on you instead and to cancel out the other (alpha behaviour 😵‍💫)
whole lotta flirting from each of them. they're all very intelligent soldiers, they know exactly what to say to get you going 😙
all of them adore the height difference with you. you get teased about it relentlessly (out of love obvi)
i don't think they're particularly messy men but ghost and gaz are the most cleanest, they like having their things in order and knowing where everything is
price is next because he's slumped with being captain so you'll see a lot of his paperwork around with coffee mugs from pulling all nighters
soap is more organised mess. it might look messy to you but he knows exactly where everything is
you, soap and gaz definitely have rap battles late at night. it starts of quiet but you'll usually hear price shouting at you three from his bedroom to stfu. ghost threatens to pull a grenade if you don't be quiet
assuming you're naturally a good cook, they'd all be so appreciative :") especially on bad days, your cooking reminds each of them of home (or lack of)
face masks! gaz would 100% be down to do them with you, soap would follow next because if gaz is doing it then he too???
ghost would roll his eyes, continuing polishing his guns with a rag "you ain't putting that muck on my face"
price would just look at you, shaking his head "got too much to do, sweetness"
but you're quite the convincer and all four men are on the floor of your bedroom, gossiping about the last mission with their preferred colour of face mask across their faces
assuming you're the only woman, they get very protective when you're hurt. soldiers get hurt from time to time but its different when it's you
"you alright, bonnie?" soap's gentle voice comes through your room as he hands you a warm mug of your fave drink
gaz had you wrapped in a big fluffy blanket, gently stroking your back
"who was it?" ghost's voice is firm, wanting to know who dared injured the youngest member of their team
"already got a handle on 'em" price follows, looking at the computer. whatever enemy dared to raise their hands on wished they'd be six feet under after all four men are done with them
you're the one each man needs when they're having a particularly bad day which are usually far in few between but sometimes it happens
gaz and soap are the types to seek you out, their faces settled in a troubled frown before they place their arms around you. no questions just yet, they just want to feel skin to skin for now. keeping them grounded before they can explain what happened. they're not looking for a fixer, just someone who'll listen
ghost and price are the type to isolate themselves for a while until it's night and then you'll find them gently knocking on your bedroom door and slipping inside, between your covers. their grip is strong, burying their faces deep into your neck whilst trying to wrap his arms as much as he can. these two won't talk much either, just looking to be held and stroked to calm down
ghost and soap are the type to show affection through lingering touches while gaz and price show affections through their words.
but speaking of hugs, each of them have their own special way they like to embrace
ghost thinks he's being slick but you realise just how touchstarved he really is, he gives hugs with his arms around your shoulders bringing you in to his chest. mostly because he's tall and broad but he likes how he can manhandle you from this position and smelling your scent <3
soap's the type to tackle you in a playful hug, maybe a spin to get a laugh out of you before he gently strokes your skin for a few seconds, a gentle kiss to your temple <3
price likes to hug from behind, resting his chin on your head while he looks at what you're doing. depending on you, his big arms are either wrapped on your waist or your shoulders <3
gaz gives side hugs because he likes linking his arm around your hips and he likes how you fit snugly into his body. and this way he can lean his head against yours and can bring you in closer with his other arm <3
all four can immediately smell you before you come in because they adore whatever perfume/spray you have
each of them would absolutely melt into pieces if you joined them/kept them company in what they were doing
and if they catch you in a towel after having a shower, best believe they're quickly walking back around to where they came from to help alleviate the growing... tent in their pants
lowkey kinda pervy 🫣 (never in a harmful way)
each of them have their strong points and would 100% train you in becoming stronger
even if you're a well established soldier, they all worry for your safety
price would teach you sniper techniques, ghost teaches you combat, gaz teaches you how to sharpen your aim and soap teaches you about explosives and how to construct/dismantle each of them
they take the training very seriously with you
a ton of cursing when their fave team loses lmaoo
if you're avid tea drinker, join the gaz/ghost/price club. if you're not, join the hater club with soap <3
ghost/gaz/soap will playfully fight with you, careful not to use their full strength and not to harm you. but it's so cute to them when you're struggling a little under them.
but when price scolds them in doing so, "i'm just helping in case there's an attack!"
if you're arguing against one of them, another will come to your defence. unless you're arguing all four then it's the silent treatment from you 🤭
all four of them melt when you call them by their real name instead of their callsign :")
ghost usually comes to you when his balaclava is broken and he'll keep you company as your fingers work their magic to the fabric, gently leaning against you as you speak to him
price will let you shape up his beard after you begging to do so and he grows to enjoy those tender moments
soap definitely calls for your help to shape up his mohawk, he trusts your hand to eye coordination above anyone elses
ghost will playfully ruffle your hair whenever you both pass each other
price gives you a gentle squeeze on the shoulder
gaz gives you a soft stroke on your arm or back whenever he's passing by
soap will gently tap his head against yours, not too hard to cause pain but just enough to know that he's there
but above all, the barracks you five share is definitely a safe space for each of them the second they come through the door <333
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cyxnidx · 26 days
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LANGUAGE BARRIER !
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characters: choso, gojo, nanami
summary: them with a bilingual-partner & their kids
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ー# CHOSO didn't know just how big of a mistake he made letting his little girl learn an extra language. at first, he didn't think it'd be a big deal. his two year old learning your native language? that was an amazing idea - he loved it. the importance of maintaining your culture's language and spreading it through family made him think he was completing an aspiration he never knew he wanted. that was, until his you and his little angel decided to take things to the next level - insults. you taught her insults. and he didn't know it until he ended up upsetting her at the dinner table, and she blurted something incredibly disrespectful in your native language.
your jaw was on the floor. and choso was, rightfully so, incredibly confused. "what'd she just say?" he asks, genuinely confused about what she just told him. you begin laughing, scolding your little girl. "honey, you can't say that to daddy! that's bad." choso looks at her concerned. "what'd you say?" she crosses her arms, sticking her tongue out at him. he sighs, looking at you. "what'd she say?" collecting yourself, you sigh and whisper it to him, watching as his face contorts to complete shock. "that is so rude!"
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ー# GOJO loved the idea. i mean, think about it? his little girl, stomping around, arguing with you in your language, and lowkey winning? he thought it was hilarious! of course, until she gets old enough to truly say something hurtful, but that'll be a while. or, at least, that's what he thought.
your daughter pouts, sitting in the middle of the living room floor, back facing you. she's six now, and far sassier than anything on plant earth. meanwhile, gojo is simply getting a snack bar from the kitchen. though, when you least expect it, she yells at you to shut up in your native language. your eyes go wide as you begin to slip off your sandal, walking toward her in spite of her screams. gojo wraps his arms around your torso, yelling 'calm down' and 'it's okay', having to catch your sandal when you attempt to throw it at her. your daughter approaches, just far back enough to not get caught by you, and apologizes formally before leaving to hide in her room. and now, gojo has to deal with you cursing at him. which is all fine, of course, except.. its somehow worse than you cursing at him in English?
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ー# NANAMI thought it to be an interesting experience. he was the one to convince you that, no, it wasn't going to confuse him, and no, he wouldn't be upset if his daughter spoke to him in the language. because, unbeknownst to you, he's learning the language. ever since you were maybe six months pregnant? he wanted it to be a surprise for the little ones birthday. and that, it was.
you smiled, answering one of your daughters many questions for the day while nanami sat at the picnic table outside. today marks her fourth birthday, and she was ecstatic. she never really understood the significance of birthdays until recently, when nanami's been explaining to her how exciting they tend to be. "daddy! daddy! today's my birthday!" she exclaims, grinning ear to ear. "and ー and mommy made me my cake! and i helped!" she says, happily pointing to the cake, basically jumping off the ground and to the moon. nanami smiled at his daughter's excitement. "i see, darling. did you put the candles on it, too?" he asks, stifling a laugh at the slightly messy placement of the candles on top. she nods and grins. "you did a great job, darling." he praises, kissing her cheek. she asks you a question in your language, asking if it was time to cut the cake yet. before you could respond, nanami shakes his head, telling her she has to wait to light the candles first. your eyes go wide, while your daughter simply nods with acceptance. "since when did you-?" you ask, generally confused. nanami smiles. "i've been learning for some years now."
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droolypupboy · 2 months
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tips for solo puppy play!!
pup play doesn’t have to be a partnered activity and solo play can be EXTREMELY fulfilling. you deserve to explore your headspace 🫶🫶 i have another post for more general tips for feeling more puppy, you can check that out here, a lot of things on there are ALSO applicable for solo pups.
warning, this is not for puppy regressors!! this is an nsfw post and probably not safe for u if you regress while online. stay safe, sfw puppies.
i would recommend checking out the above post if you want more details on the following: playing fetch alone, puppy snacks, & oral fixation!! all those things can help a LOT for solo pups but since i already went into so much detail previously, this post will have its own unique set of tips. i’m a puppy & i own a puppy sub so im super smart and you should listen 2 me!!!!
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🐾 eating from a dog bowl can help a lot!! but even if that is inaccessible or not to your taste, you can just sit/lay on your tummy on the ground and eat small snacks from a plate. be careful of choking if you choose to lay!!
🐾 make little pup noises!! if you feel yourself going nonverbal and you’re in a place where you’re safe and comfy and have the time, lean into it. make little “hmph” noises when you’re confused, little squeaks when you’re excited, whine and pant, do all the things!! these can be used both sexually and nonsexually. it should come naturally if it’s gonna happen but there’s nothing wrong with doing it on purpose to get the ball rolling.
🐾 you can either invest in a large dog bed OR you can make a little nest of pillows and blankets.
🐾 being on all fours, sitting on the floor, & laying on your tummy are wonderful. inaccessible?? that’s okay!! these are enhancers, not necessities.
🐾 ALL you need for this is a bedroom and some random items. find some things (bad options are things like keys, lighters, phones, anything you use super frequently) to hide and go find again. the more space you have the better but even in smaller spaces, it can be VERY fun to lean into.
🐾 tilt your head in confusion, nudge and “paw” at things, nip and bite at things (safely, clean things, nothing that could hurt you or that you could choke on).
🐾 if you can afford it, invest in a knot style toy. it can help a lot in feeling like you’re small getting used by a bigger dog if that’s your thing. toys with suction cups are amazing too, the less you have to work, the better!!
🐾 do NOT be afraid to use pup centered asmr. it’s available on many many places but most accessibly, youtube & soundgasm through the site flaru. its not cringe, its not silly, it can be rlly good for the headspace. if you’re not sure if you’ll like it, give it a go!! why not??
🐾 invest in dog toys if you can!! make sure to clean them thoroughly before putting them in your mouth, stored r nasty, don’t use any that an actual dog has used only use fresh ones. if you can’t do that, chewelry, largely available on etsy and marketed for sensory issues (which yes, it does work for as well) is a really nice & discreet option.
🐾 go to town if you have a PRIVATE back yard!! run around!! have the zoomies!! chase toys (do not put them in your mouth if you’re playing outside)!! just have a good time.
🐾 press your nose against the window and watch the birds & squirrels & any other animals outside!!
🐾 overstimulation!! it’s rlly good, lose yourself, don’t stop until you can’t take it anymore. silly pups need to get fucked stupid.
🐾 slobber on toys (of the sfw AND nsfw variety), suck your fingers, get messy eating a popsicle or something similar. spit can be VERY puppy if you can handle the mess
that’s all for now, silly pups!! have fun, play safe, be kind to yourself, and remember that all of us puppies are different and unique. what makes one person feel puppy might not make the next person feel puppy. figure out what works for YOU. being puppy is an independent journey 🐕🦴🐾🎾
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mochinomnoms · 2 months
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i know in the leech family that its a running joke that the mc is their cleaner shrimp and i cant help but think when its finally the leech parents turn!
Imagine mc and the leech family are going out to do some family bonding and the mc causally picks off some lint or hair off papa leech or mama leech and their mood just instantly brightens :D They go like “thank you dear! Is there anything else on me?” And the parents are just spinning around happy because their child-in-law is doing shrimp things with them! (Meanwhile jade and floyd are off to the side being like “what about me D:<”)
also may I be 🪸 anon or 💫 anon?
YEEAAAAH FAMILY SHRIMP!!!
I think it's a very sweet idea! Whether it's just one of the twins or both that you've gotten involved in, they both enjoy your fretting and picking at them. Floyd most often gets your attention, as he's always getting up to stuff and messy. However, he's more prone to scrapes from basketball and burns from cooking at the lounge, so he gets lots of attention from you. Floyd loves it, he loves being taken care of for once, instead of being feared or seen as a big bad eel. He needs loving too! He needs to be treated tenderly and kindly. Floydie just wants to be loved, and who better to do that than you?
Jade on the other hand will just get dirty when hiking and foraging, but rarely get any scrapes or cuts. He might bruise here or there depending on how it went, but over all you're more likely to need to clean stray twigs, leaves, and dirt for him. In fact, you'll find Jade approaching you after his extensions, every single time, asking for your assistance. Maybe join him in the bath and help him clean up? As his cleaner shrimp? Pretty pleeease? After all, the caretaker needs some caring too sometimes.
When you eventually get introduced to the family and properly fit into your place with the Leeches, with an appropriate shrimp merform! Papa and Mama Leech are just happy that their boys have such a sweet partner. You further solidify your spot when they learn about your “shrimp” tendencies. They think it's so cute! So imagine their delight when you start tending to them like you do their sons!
Papa Leech will often find himself get into...”scuffles” after work. Normally, the family doctor would be available to patch him up, but they were already attending to a patient of theirs. Here comes their resident shrimp, offering to patch him up! You babbling about Floyd and how he always got hurt from his activities at school, so it wasn't a problem. At this point, you're practically a pro! Papa Leech has stars in his eyes, though, he has the cutest child-in-law!!! And you've been doing this for his boys, for free??!! Screw Floyd and Jade if they ever break up with you (like they'd ever would) cause Papa is keeping you in the family for the foreseeable future. Not only are you convenient, but you care for him like family, he'd be a barnacle to let you go. If you're not already married to his boys, prepare yourself, cause he's already organizing the engagement and wedding. No, he did not ask his boys beforehand.
As for Mama Leech, she's been repeated described as a worrywart, and overly cautious, especially regarding her family. I think that, since you weren't brought up in the family like her boys, would be prone to keeping you at her side. If Papa and the twins are off for “work” then you can find her snatching you up for some mother-in-law time to keep you nice and safe! This is when she gets her own version of shrimp tending, via you doing her hair and makeup! She does love dressing up and looking pretty, and is delighted when you start brushing through her hair with your fingers, braiding it and softly applying her lipstick. It's been so long since her boys were little and played dress up with her! But here you are, so sweet and soft and gentle with her! She's now become attached, if you so much as try and leave the family, Mama is sobbing and begging you to stay, while also strangling her sons for what ever they did wrong (she knows they did something the little troublemakers).
I'd say that the twins only get mildly jealous, after all, the more time you spend with their parents the less they get with you! And you're their partner!!! They suppose they should be happy that you get along so well with their parents. Except Floyd. Floyd wishes to monopolize your time and will hide you away with Jade in a dark coral nook. He called you Shrimpy first, it's his right!!!
(I will dub thee 🪸 anon!! welcome!)
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bratkook · 4 months
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deep six: dancing with death. (m) jjk
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part one. part two. v-day drabble
pairing. biker!jk x reader genre. smut, fluff warnings. infidelity (but its ok i promise), protected s*x, oral, jungkook is kinda whiny and that itself deserves a warning, they're just fluffy and mushy and love each other they just dont know it yet word count. 12.2k summary. you've always known to stay away from the tombstone patches, told they were the enemy, that you'd be betraying your club if you chose not to listen. but an unsuspected friendship makes you think that maybe not everyone was as bad as you were made to believe. author’s note. hihiiii, this is a prequel to the deep six series! aka how jungkook and oc start their friendship and have it blossom into what it becomes in part one of deep six. i truly love these two so much, something about their forbidden love and how jungkook is tough and dangerous but oh so sweet to her makes me fucking melt!!! ok hope u enjoy it bye ily muah
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The world is a constant blur, days merging, memories hazy and bleeding together in your mind. The only time you enjoy the blur is now, sitting on your bike as you flow through the streets. Exiting Cobra territory made you feel free, the streets widening up the further you got, allowing you to cruise without the fear of getting swiped by a careless driver. 
Your eyes fall shut briefly, taking a slow breath as you try to push the earlier feelings away. Minho was having a bad day, a deal he had hoped to make to start running ice falling through, the man in charge deciding to go with a neighboring club instead. It wasn’t your fault the man thought Minho was too hot headed and messy to not find a way to mess this deal up, wanting a club with more reach, more connections and reliability than the Cobras could offer. That didn’t stop Minho from treating you like it was your fault, doing what he did best before barking orders at you to go for a run, desperately needing alcohol to drown his emotions. 
The earlier fear still rattles you, leaves your fingers trembling slightly as they clutch the handles and accelerate. He couldn’t hurt you here, and that's all the comfort you need at the moment, finally pulling into the familiar parking lot of the bodega. There’s a few cars parked inside, a lone scooter tossed by the sidewalk, and a shiny black bike parked by the entrance. 
You eye it for a moment, always checking for visible tags that let you know if the bike belonged to a club that had the Cobra’s high on their hit list. It’d be easy to act dumb if it was, no identifying items on you, knowing better than to roam the streets without Minho with a serpent stamped on you. 
When you find nothing you decide it’s fine, knowing you were on a time crunch to get what he wanted. With another slow breath you step off your bike, already feeling your earlier nerves fade away as you enter your comfort space. It seems odd to consider it one, but something about the buzzing fluorescent lighting and peeling laminate made you feel like an individual. 
Music plays through a portable speaker by the cashier, the worker greeting you with a smile that you return before you turn down your favorite aisle. That’s when you spot him again. The Deep Six member in the same spot he was in the last time you saw him a few weeks ago. It had been a close encounter then, not realizing who he was with your boyfriend standing outside. But his arms are revealed to you now, markings on his skin making it clear what club he belonged to, leaving no room for confusion. If that somehow wasn’t enough the giant patches on his vest and the glimmering rings on his fingers spell it out, literally. 
You approach him slowly, not sure if you trust him but not fully on edge like you were before, knowing Minho’s watchful eyes weren’t observing your every move. Without the ticking bomb a few feet away you allow yourself to slightly relax in the presence of him, assuming he had no idea who you were, clearly too focused on his candy selection. 
Sure you were on a run for Minho but you always pick something up for yourself. A small smile is already on your lips as your eyes land on the sour straws, ready to pick your flavor of choice, only to find it completely empty. Instantly you know the culprit is the man next to you, remembering the way you had reached for the same candy last time you saw him here by chance, and as you turn to stare at him you see his palms cradling four packets of the sour straws, a teasing smile on his face as he meets your eyes. Greedy. 
“Sorry,” he breathes out, sounding anything but, trying desperately not to laugh and failing as he makes his way to the front to pay. You don’t even respond to him, admitting defeat as you settle on the green apple flavored ones before you return to your earlier task, finding a case of Minho’s favorite beer and paying for it. 
The heat welcomes you once more outside, loading up the beer and candy into the saddlebags on the side of your bike, already forgetting about the candy thief from inside. 
“Hey, Snake!” A voice cuts through the air, making you freeze as you search for it, finding the Six standing by the shiny black bike you had spotted earlier. He reaches into his pocket, still smiling as he pulls out the blue raspberry sour straw packet, tossing it your way with ease. 
You catch it with both palms, momentarily stunned at the small gesture and at the fact that he clearly knew you were associated with the Cobras. The rumble of his engine snaps you out of it, smiling slightly as you look up at him once more, a breathless thank you escaping your lips before he is smiling back and peeling out of the parking lot. 
When you live the life you do, constantly on edge with a paranoid boyfriend questioning everyone’s intentions, it's hard not to let his way of thinking affect your own. Even as you sit back at the clubhouse, holding onto that packet of candy, you can’t help but wonder if maybe the Six’s seemingly sweet gesture was a trap. Maybe he was testing to see how gullible you are, stupid enough to interact with him, to use you to send a message to the Cobras. It wouldn’t be the first time. Minho’s reign made you an easy target, knowing you had a lot of enemies that would love to make a lesson of you. 
It's been so long since anyone has shown you genuine kindness with no strings attached, and as you finally enjoy your treat, you can’t stop the warm feeling of hope in your chest that maybe not everyone was as bad as you were made to believe. 
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You don’t return to your comfort space again until two weeks later, on another run for the club. Minho seemed to think if he gave you pointless errands to run you’d be satisfied, content with the loveless relationship and mundane everyday life. It was his way of keeping you on a leash, making you follow orders and letting the lead slacken up, only tightening it back up to remind you he was all you had. But you’d take the small moments of peace wherever you could get them. 
The lot is empty today as you pull in, the only car belonging to the worker inside. The moment of solitude only lasts for a minute, a loud rumble cutting through the air as another bike pulls in beside you. You tense up immediately, whipping your head to assess the situation, spotting the familiar Six too lost in his thoughts to realize you were here. He furrows his brows as he takes off his helmet, adjusting the large rings on his fingers before he glances your way, jumping slightly when he notices it's you. 
You eye him curiously, hands coming up to the key in the ignition, ready to start it up and tail out of here if he made a move. Minho had made a claim of some other club trying to ambush a deal earlier today, an unlucky hangout being the only one hurt, but without an identifying patch it left him on edge more than normal. So far the Six didn’t make you feel like you had to be wary, but you couldn’t be so sure. 
He seems to sense it, his arms raising up in surrender as he stays on his bike. “It’s okay snake, I don’t bite.” He smiles at his own stupid remark, but it slowly falls off his face when he sees the stoic expression remains on yours. “Seriously though, I’m just here for some smokes and a treat. I can go somewhere else if it really makes you this uncomfortable though.”
“Why aren’t you somewhere else to begin with?” you bite back, still not trusting that he wasn’t trying to trap you. 
Jungkook just sighs, hand coming up to ruffle up his helmet hair. “It’s nice to get away sometimes. This is neutral grounds, you know as best as I do that anything club related done here is a death wish.” He lets you process his statement, seeing the way you continue to eye him, your gaze tracing along the patches he wears. The large tombstone taunts you, torn and a little rugged on the edges, showing just how long he’s been wearing it. “Why aren’t you somewhere on your side of town?”
You purse your lips, looking away from him as you pull your hand away from your key, getting off your bike, deciding this conversation was better to have inside your little safe space. “Like you said, it’s nice to get away sometimes.” You hook your helmet over your handle, reaching the bodega’s door and holding it open as you look back at him. “You coming?”
He seems to snap out of it, quickly hopping off his bike and jogging your way, saying a quick greeting to the worker before going down the familiar aisle. He smiles when he sees you next to those damn sour straws. 
“Those must be your favorite huh?”
You give him a quick glance, seeing the smile on his lips before you turn back and grab a packet of the candy. “They are, so try not to take all of them at once again.”
He lets out a soft laugh, reaching forward and grabbing a couple of the same. “I gave you one last time, which says a lot because I don’t really like sharing.”
“A Six that doesn’t like sharing? That’s not surprising.” Your words are light, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you turn around and continue roaming the aisle. 
“Not as surprising as a Snake trying to tell me what to do.” The crinkling of plastic fills the store as he rips open his packet, taking a bite of a sour straw as he tries to hide his own smile when you give him an eye roll. 
“I’m not technically a Snake,” you mutter out, finger tracing along the chocolate bar you were contemplating grabbing. It wasn’t a lie, you didn’t wear the patch, you weren’t granted the perks of being a part of the club, nothing you said held any weight on the decisions they made. You weren’t a Cobra, you just belonged to one of them. Though that didn’t seem like the wisest thing to tell him, you knew the history between Deep Six and the Cobras, and telling him you belonged to Minho of all people would put you high up on his list of people to hurt if he had bad intentions to begin with. 
“Oh? You just like to hang on to the back of one then?”
“Something like that,” you sigh, deciding not to grab the extra treat, turning to look at him fully once more. “Are you gonna keep calling me a snake?”
His tongue prods along his cheek as he looks down at you, eyebrow slowly cocking up. “What would you rather I call you?”
“Y/N.”
He nods slowly, letting your name settle into his mind before he was reaching his hand out, the golden glimmering rings spelling out SIX shining in the light. You eye his hand for a minute before grabbing it in a gentle handshake, seeing the way he smiles before saying his own name. 
“Jungkook.”
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Jungkook was proud of his club, wore his patch with pride, did everything he could to show his loyalty. So why was he starting to tell white lies to his brothers, making up excuses to justify why he was going to the bodega on neutral grounds directly after finishing a job. He knew what would happen if they knew who he was talking to, slowly befriending. His only rational excuse was the fact that you had said you weren’t technically a Cobra, and although he’s not sure how well that would hold up to the rest of his members, it was the only excuse that helped ease his guilt. 
He was currently sat on the small sidewalk outside of the bodega, elbows leaning on his knees as he glanced around the empty lot. You had been meeting here once every week or so. He had started to take note of the typical times you’d be sent on runs of your own, choosing to coincidentally run into you at the same time. You had yet to arrive today though, leaving him waiting for fifteen minutes, wondering if maybe you wouldn’t be showing up today. 
Just before he decides to head out, you pull into the lot on your Dyna, a smile on your face when you spot him sitting on the sidewalk like a child. 
“You’re late,” he calls out, grabbing a packet of candy and tossing it your way when you get off your bike and head towards him. 
“Sorry, I wasn’t aware we had a time set for our little play dates.” You open up the candy, taking a bite and shutting your eyes at the sour taste. Jungkook laughs at your expression, patting the sidewalk beside him for you to settle into. 
“I can’t be left unsupervised, you should know this by now.”
You laugh now, taking a look at the bodega and the surrounding area. “Nothing seems to be destroyed, I think you do just fine unsupervised.”
He leans back on his palm, raking back his dark hair as he stares into the sky in thought. “I tend to cause psychological damage, not too big on destroying property.”
“Got it. So you torture people?”
Jungkook chuckles, turning to look at you slightly, a small twinkle of mischief flashing in his eyes as he smiles. “Exactly.”
You can only laugh, not exactly sure how truthful he was being with his little joke. The both of you made an effort to not discuss the intricacies of your clubs, not entirely sure what it was that you both did for them, knowing things would get too messy and tangled up if you did. Instead you talk about yourselves, knowing small anecdotes of each other’s childhoods, recounting stories of when he took a few tumbles on his bike when he was just starting to learn to ride, ones of you before the life of the Cobras was all you knew. 
It was a brief moment of normalcy, being able to talk to someone else, laughing over dumb jokes while sharing candy. It made you forget how twisted all of it was until you returned back home. 
Jungkook just appreciated having a new friend, someone to talk to about things that didn’t have to do with his club. He just wished he could talk to you in moments that lasted longer than the brief bodega hang outs. So as you both finish up, loading up your bike with the items you were told to come pick up, he takes a leap of faith. 
“Hey, can I—uh. Can I have your number?” He looks uncharacteristically shy as he asks this, one hand rubbing along the back of his neck. “To arrange our play dates,” he adds jokingly, a small smile on his lips in hopes of softening the blow of potential rejection as he reaches for his phone and hands it over. 
You freeze instantly, staring at his device as the voice in your head tells you not to, screams that this would get you in trouble. But the hopeful look on his face is enough to shut it up, grabbing his phone with a nod. “Sure, but uhm, I can’t text often.”
His brows furrow slightly at the tone you use, watching the way you type in your number and text yourself. Something about it made it seem like you were nervous, and the only thing he can assume is that the people you were around would grow curious over who you were texting. 
“Why? Scared your Snake friends would be pissed that a Six is texting you?” His tone is playful, but as you hand him his phone back, the look on your face makes his smile slowly fade away. 
“My boyfriend, specifically.”
Jungkook feels his heart drop at the revelation. He knew you were most likely involved with a Cobra, having seen you the first time you met on the back of one’s bike—more specifically, Minho’s bike. He had just assumed you were Minho’s chosen girl for the day, but if you were mentioning a boyfriend now, Jungkook could easily piece together who exactly that is. 
The third cardinal rule of his club replays in the back of his mind, “Never get involved with a Cobra”. It makes his head hurt, desperately trying to find a deeper excuse, a loophole to allow this to continue. It shouldn’t mean anything, you two were just friendly, barely even toeing that line as it was. But just knowing you were spoken for, by the leader of the Cobras especially, made the guilt he already felt for speaking to you get worse. 
But he does his best to shake it off, drowning out his thoughts as he takes his phone back and shrugs. 
“We’re just two people who share a love for sour straws, but if it makes you feel better you text me whenever you want.”
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You don’t text him for a while, the fear of your tiny little secret being exposed keeps you from responding to the text you had sent yourself from his phone. There was also the small feeling of guilt festering in your stomach, feeling like you had lied to him by keeping your relationship a secret. All he had assumed from the get go was that you liked to hang around Cobras, but you noticed the way his face had changed when you mentioned a boyfriend, and you can only imagine how he’d react if you told him your boyfriend was the leader of the Cobras. 
You find yourself staring at your device any chance you get, hidden in the bathroom of your place, lounging on the couch in the clubhouse, until you finally get the courage to send the first text. It makes your heart race, saving his number under your best friend's name, changing the emoji at the end so you know the difference, going as far as putting his messages on do not disturb. Clearly hiding, keeping him a secret. 
Jungkook knows it's wrong, because he’s keeping it a secret too. But once that first text was sent, they never stopped. He responds when he has time in between club duties, knowing you’ll reply when you get a moment alone. Your messages are short, random conversations that never crossed any lines, but he meant what he said, taking full advantage of having your number to coordinate your play dates. 
The guilt you feel slowly fades away with each passing day, becoming comfortable in your ways as you let him know what days you’ll be on that side of town, and before you know it, your hang outs become your favorite thing. You slowly start to consider Jungkook your friend, another rare slice of peace in your messy life. It makes you feel like your younger self, excited to speak to a cute boy and laugh until your cheeks hurt. 
And it should make you feel icky to have these thoughts about someone who wasn’t your boyfriend, but your relationship with Minho had been romantically dead for years now, not able to remember the last time he did something for you that didn’t solely benefit him. So you choose to enjoy the small flutters in your stomach that occur around Jungkook, allowing yourself to sit closer to him each time, friendly touches beginning to get more courageous while still toeing the line. 
Jungkook doesn’t mind it, he thought you were pretty and would let you trace the patches on his jacket or analyze his tattoos up close if that's what you wanted. You were the one with a boyfriend, who was he to tell you what was right or wrong for you to do, he wasn’t one to judge or pull a morality card on you considering the things he does in his club. It was all mostly innocent anyways, even now as you stand a good few feet away from each other, respective candy in each other's hands, attempting to toss them into your mouths. 
It was innocent. 
“God, your aim is horrible!” you laugh out, feeling the candy hit your forehead and bounce right off. 
“What are you talking about? That was a clear headshot.” He has that charming smirk on his face as he says it, tongue flicking against his lip ring while he laughs too. 
“You’re not trying to kill me Jungkook, we’re trying to see who wins first.” You swat the remnants of sugar off your face as you reach into your own bag for a piece of candy, motioning for him to be ready. He gets into position, slightly bending his knees and angling his head back with his mouth open, ready to catch whatever you throw. With a small snicker you grab four small pieces of candy, aiming right for his face with one eye shut and sending them flying. Jungkook is totally unsuspecting until suddenly, he’s being pelted all over his face, his eyes squeezing shut at the shock. 
“Dude,” he laughs, eyes finally opening up to spot you cackling away, perfectly content at your little stunt. 
“Okay, okay sorry. For real this time. I got it, I can feel it in my bones.” Jungkook should tell you no, say you wasted your turn and deliver payback, but you look too happy right now for him to do anything but smile and nod as he gets back into position once more. He sees the way you bring your hand close to your face, shutting one eye to try to aim, tongue slightly poking out in concentration before you toss the candy across a few feet of distance. 
Jungkook doesn’t even register that the candy successfully landed in his mouth until you’re gasping in shock. That’s when his eyes widen, his mouth shutting as he begins to chew, standing up straight and feeling his heart start to warm at how proud you look at having beat him. He closes the distance between you, extending a hand out for a high five that you gladly give him. 
Now that you’re closer, you see all the sprinkles of sugar on his face. It dusts along his cheekbones and the top of his nose, looking like small freckles on his skin. You give him an endearing smile as you cup his face and swipe it away from his skin. You do it without thinking really, tips of your fingers gently flicking away the evidence of your tiny prank. 
Jungkook’s chest tightens at the soft gesture, eyes wide as he watches you, too scared to move, almost like it would startle you or make you come to your senses and remember he was a Six. He chooses to just focus on how soft your hand feels against his cheek, how sweet you sound when you say he looks like a mess, your eyes filled with what he hopes is the same adoration he has as you look up at him, a lot closer than you need to be.
Jungkook knows all the sugar is gone now but you’re still there, thumb rubbing along his cheek, tracing the scar under his eye while your gaze lands on the piercing on his lip. He holds his breath when you look up at him once more, and maybe it's his wishful thinking but he swears the way you look at him tells him to make a move, so he does. Slowly at first, wanting to give you a chance to deny his advances, but you meet his lips before he can close the distance himself.
The innocence is gone now. Jungkook had felt something brewing with each of your interactions, chalking it off to pure friendliness, but he knows a small spark had been lit the second you started speaking to each other. 
The kiss burns, the guilt and betrayal to his club clawing at his mind but he doesn't care, welcoming it as he deepens it, sliding his hand into your hair and focusing on the way you let out a soft breath as he does so. It makes your mind spin, your hands gently looping around his neck to bring him closer. You don’t have time to think, too enveloped in the way his piercing feels against your lips, how his fingers softly rake through your hair, how he takes a deep breath when you kiss him back harder. 
It's brief, a small moment of weakness led by temptation, but you can’t deny how you both feel exhilarated, wide eyes and smiles on your faces when you pull back. "You taste like candy," you giggle.
“Your favorite,” he mumbles, still close enough to nudge the tip of his nose along yours. His voice is low as he lets reality settle, slowly inching back, his eyes meeting yours and seeing the small clouds of panic start to form around you. Reality seems to be hitting you too, fear of what would happen to him if Minho ever found out, or what would happen to you if he even had an inkling. A small harmless crush had just passed over into dangerous territory. 
“Hey,” Jungkook starts softly, hand gently coming to rest on your shoulder to bring you back to the present. “It doesn’t have to mean anything.”
“No, but it does,” you groan. It did mean something, it didn’t matter how small it seemed, but you know the kiss meant something. Your small panic had nothing to do with being unfaithful, you knew Minho cheated on you with any girls who were willing to show their loyalty to the club, and if it kept him off of you then you didn’t mind it. You were scared to put Jungkook in danger. “It means something and my boyfriend’s crazy, he’ll kill both of us if he finds out.”
“I know he is.” He shrugs, looking directly at you, seeing the shocked look on your face at his admission. 
“You know what?” you whisper. 
“I know he’s a psycho. I kind of put two and two together when you mentioned a boyfriend. It is Minho right?” When you nod slowly, still unsure how to respond he just continues speaking. “But look, I know. All of it. I know I’m not supposed to be speaking to you, let alone kissing you and enjoying it, but it happened. I know it’s wrong, that I should feel bad and I don’t, but I also know where my loyalties lie within the club and what rules I’m willing to bend. If you’re saying it means something, then it does.”
You can only stare at him, feeling the clouds of panic start to fade. “But I'm telling you, I know what's at risk and I won’t be using it to harm you.”
“I mean…it is both our asses on the line,” you mumble out, still feeling his hand on your shoulder. He smiles at your words now, making you slowly smile back. 
“So, we’re taking it to our graves?” His voice is light again, the playful tone you were used to back. When you nod he smiles wider. “Cool, should we kiss on it?”
Jungkook laughs when you shove his shoulder with a cackle, rolling your eyes as you step back, walking back into the bodega to get what you came for. “You’re so unserious. Get away from me.”
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The issue with this imaginary line being crossed is that it leaves you thinking “what’s next”, constantly wondering just what else you could get away with. One kiss shared turns into two which turns into five, given so casually it feels like second nature. It seems like both of your guards have dropped now, more at ease with each other, touches getting as bold as they could in public. 
“Are you sure my skin isn’t gonna burn off?” you joke, laughing when Jungkook gives you an eye roll. His jacket is in his hands, shaking it off before he’s swinging it around your frame, helping you slide your arms into it. He had jokingly said it would swallow you whole, and you honestly just wanted an excuse to be closer to him so when he suggested you try it on you couldn’t deny him. 
“You might burst into flames, so just drop and roll baby.” He snickers when you playfully glare at him. Jungkook looks down at you with a smile, his hands smoothing the collar before he’s taking a step back to admire how the large leather jacket looked on you. The patches cover the arms and back, his first initial, last name and rank displayed over the left breast pocket, something your finger comes up to trace absentmindedly.  
“I don’t know, the jacket suits you. You sure you don’t wanna become a Six?”
“Very funny Jungkook. They’ll be putting a Cobra on my tombstone when I’m dead.” 
He waves you off, reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. “Let me live in my fantasy world, yeah?”
“Your fantasy world involves me being a Six?” you giggle, looking up at him with a sly smile.
“Don’t kink shame me. Now smile for the picture,” he sings out, bending down as he extends his arm out, ready to take a selfie. You had yet to take photos of you both, too scared to be caught by Minho, but you allowed Jungkook to document your newly formed friendship as much as he wanted, knowing he had less to worry about when it came to snooping. 
Your arms wrap around him, the tombstone patch on display as you both smile widely for the picture. He looks at it with a cheeky grin, mumbling out how cute he thought it was before putting his phone away. 
“Do you need the usual for your run today?” he asks, knowing Minho always had you stocking up his alcohol. 
“Not today. I’m technically supposed to be locked inside our place. A few Cobra’s headed out of state this morning for a meeting.”
Jungkook hums, having briefly heard of an arms deal happening out of state, he just hadn’t been aware it was the Cobra’s doing. “Why didn’t you go with?”
“Too risky.” You lean back against the textured wall of the building, still cozy in his jacket. Minho loved to have you right by his side at all times, so if he said it was safer for you to stay here then you wouldn’t question him. “He has to make sure his prized possession stays safe.”
Jungkook laughs, slinging an arm around you and bringing you to his side obnoxiously. “Well you tell him I have that covered.”
“Jungkook, he’d cut your tongue out. Stop it!” you cackle. 
“I’d like to see him fucking try,” he grunts out, enjoying the way you playfully swat at him. He’d like to think he could have Minho’s head served on a silver platter if he ever got close enough to put his hands on him. 
“What about you? Any fun club plans after our playdate?”
Jungkook sighs, a smile still on his face. “Nope. I’m officially clocked out.” Your laugh is felt against his side, only making his smile widen. “I just have to stop by the clubhouse to grab something before heading home.”
“How far is the clubhouse from here?” You’re looking up at him with a twinkle in your eye, your smile still as sweet as can be, but he senses some undertone that he hopes he isn’t imagining. 
“Not far, about 20 minutes. Why? You want a tour?”
That was all he had to ask before you were following his bike down the busy streets on his side of town. His jacket is still on you, providing you with a small sense of security, knowing if anyone spotted you they’d assume you were with him. It leaves you at ease, entering the secure lot of his clubhouse, coming to a stop beside him and glancing around as you take off your helmet. 
It’s empty, a few cars parked around that looked like they were in need of repair, but no other bikes or lingering people. Jungkook steps off his bike, motioning for you to follow him, excited at showing you his favorite place. 
As you follow his lead you instantly see how different Deep Six’s clubhouse is compared to the Cobras. The space is taken care of, decorated thoughtfully, a space made for business as well as hanging out with their friends and families. Touches of the club are nestled around, a large Harley on display on a far wall, a frame showing the timeline and evolution of their patch tucked between other photos, and the most obvious and slightly obnoxious ode to the club comes in the gallery wall displaying all of their mugshots. Cute. 
“It’s nothing fancy,” he mumbles, spreading his arms out as he stands in the middle of the main room. A brown tufted leather couch is right behind him, a giant pool table behind it and a fully loaded bar to the right. 
“Compared to ours it sure is.” The Cobra’s clubhouse was made for business only, the meeting room was kept in pristine condition while the rest of it was only made to be nice enough to house drunken members and whatever hangouts were in the process of joining. 
“Really?” When you nod he just frowns, approaching you to grab your hand and pull you along, trying to show you more. “I’ll show you my space.”
“Your space?” you wonder, smiling when he squeezes your palm lightly, leading you down a hall to the right. A few doors line both walls, different ranks tacked on the middle of them, coming to a stop in front of one that says Road Captain. You had never really paid attention to his rank on his jacket, never really caring to read anyone’s rank in general, but seeing it displayed on this door let you know just how deep his involvement in his club was. 
“Only ranked members get private rooms.” He sounds almost bashful as he says this, grinning before opening up the door and switching on the light. A desk is on the right, paperwork neatly stacked in piles, a dresser is along the other wall with pictures tacked onto a cork board right above it. His bed is in the middle, sheets a dark gray and neatly made. It’s nestled between two windows on either side, letting in the slowly setting sunlight. 
You step into the room, walking to the dresser to look at the photos he has tacked up. He looks younger in some of these, hair messier and longer, no piercing or tattoos yet as he leans on his bike, another member attempting to put him in a headlock. They’re all club photos for the most part, the only one standing out is a photo of a teenage looking Jungkook holding up a diploma with what you can only assume is his parents beside him. 
“Cute,” you mumble out, smiling as you turn back to face him. It was odd to feel this calm around him, so used to the faint ticking heard in your head, reminding you that you were running on borrowed time, forced to interact in small bursts. With Minho completely occupied, the ticking disappears, allowing you to fully enjoy the moment for what it was. 
“I didn’t expect you to be sentimental like this,” you tease, smiling at the way his eyes narrow at you as he approaches, his tongue poking at his cheek as he fights a smile. 
“I’m full of surprises,” he murmurs, standing a foot away from you now, peering down at you with an aura of playfulness surrounding him. Your hands reach out to gently play with the material of his shirt, tugging him even closer. Jungkook could feel the tension, the same slowly growing tension that had been brewing with each day spent together. He can only watch as your hands slowly trail up his stomach, gliding up to gingerly rest against his chest. 
He wanted to kiss you, wanted to feel you gasp against his lips, but the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel like he had suggested showing you his clubhouse to be a total sleaze. Jungkook knew the line had grown blurry, kisses and touches shared with ease, but he wasn’t bold enough to assume you’d be okay with taking anything further. So when you decide to make the first move, leaning up to ghost your lips over his own, he can only hold his breath, eyes fluttering shut when you softly press them together. 
Your hands rest on his shoulders now, holding yourself steady as you kiss him, feeling the way his body melts into it. You pull away with a soft smack of your lips, inching back slightly. “What other surprises do you have?” 
Jungkook holds in a groan when you start to pepper kisses on the corner of his mouth, trailing them down his jaw, gently nipping the skin of his throat right below his ear. You giggle when he shudders, his hands gripping your waist, fingers tightening around you. 
“If you let me, I can show you.” His voice holds a tinge of unsureness, wanting for you to be okay with this without sounding pushy. But Jungkook had been thinking of this since your first kiss so he couldn’t help the desperate tone laced between each syllable. 
“Show me. Show me whatever you want,” you whisper, hand coming up to cup his cheek, looking up at him through your lashes. When his eyes meet yours he finally lets his resolve crack, attaching your lips once more in a heated kiss, finally feeling you gasp against him. 
Jungkook is a little ashamed to admit how easily this was affecting him, his heart already racing in his chest, stomach fluttering with each shared moan, bulge growing in his jeans when your hand slips into his hair and pulls. His hands slide down the material of his jacket you have on, pulling it off your body and tossing it aside without a care. He feels you smile against his lips at the action, clearly enjoying the way his hands roam along your body, desperate to touch you in ways he wasn’t able to before. 
It’s an eager dance to his bed, blindly stepping back as he guides you to it until your knees buckle against the mattress, giggling as you flop onto it. Your arm rests back to hold you steady, other hand gripping onto his shirt to yank him back over you, reattaching your lips in a heated kiss. 
Jungkook laughs into the kiss, his arm wrapping around you to haul you further up the bed properly, slowly pushing you back until you’re flat against the bed. His body settles over you, the cute visual of his hair framing his face is the first thing you see when your eyes flutter open as he pulls back. His eyes are hooded as he stares at you, his hand coming up to gently cradle your jaw, thumb rubbing along your bottom lip as he smirks before dipping back down. 
He kisses the corner of your mouth, following the same trail you had left on him earlier, smiling against your skin when you shudder as he nips your neck. Slowly, his hands slide down your body, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt and tugging it up to reveal your stomach. 
“Can I take this off?” he mumbles, eyes peering up at you for confirmation. When you breathe out a yes, he slides it further up, helping you slip out of your shirt fully before you’re settling on your back again. A thin bralette covers your boobs, lacey cups revealing a glimmer on your nipples that has him tilting his head in curiosity. 
You catch what he’s looking at, smile spreading on your lips as you reach up to touch his jaw, finger gently tapping along the small mole he has below his lips. “I’m full of surprises too,” you mumble, smiling wider when he boldly cups your chest, thumb swiping at your pierced nipple through the lace. 
“I can see that,” he mumurs, voice low and raspy, making your stomach flip. He looks at you once more, brow cocking up in question as his fingers toy with the fabric. You nod your head, knowing what he wanted, allowing him to slip the straps off your shoulders before he’s sliding a palm under your back to properly unclasp your bra, giving himself the perfect view. 
Its hard to ignore the small burst of confidence that surges through you when he groans, eyes hooded while he leans down to pepper kisses down your chest. It had been such a long time since you’ve felt truly desired, since you’ve been kissed delicately, had hands touch your skin so gently it tickles and leaves you breathing out a laugh. So you relish in it. You shut your eyes and enjoy the way Jungkook presses wet kisses to your skin, you let yourself gasp in pleasure when he wraps his lips around your pierced nipple and sucks. 
Your hands instinctively slip through his hair, fingers yanking his thick strands as he hums against your skin, tongue flicking along the piercing. Jungkook feels the way you jut your chest further out, back arching at the sensation. A deep groan escapes you as his palm comes up to cup your other breast, the cool feeling of his rings sending a shiver down your spine. 
He smiles as he pulls back, cocky with eyes twinkling with mischief as his fingers playfully dance down your body. 
His eyes are locked with yours as his fingers reach the waistband of your jeans, teasingly dipping past it as he lifts a brow in question. He needed clear boundaries, not wanting to cross any lines. You find it cute, how despite the fact that you’re laying here, chest heaving with anticipation, eyes surely wild with desire, he’s still wanting to make sure. 
“Can I?” He repeats his earlier question, features soft as he waits for your answer. 
“We need to even out the playing field first Six,” you tease, smiling when he chuckles and points to his shirt. You nod, staring up at him from the bed as he kneels up, staring right at you as he reaches behind his neck and yanks the shirt off of his body. 
Your blood warms up further at the sight of him, seeing his muscles flex under his tattoos as he straightens back up. Jungkook tilts his head slightly, biting on his lip ring as he fights back the smile at your clear admiration. The black marks his skin, some tattoos looking darker than others, showing you just which ones were recent additions. 
The owl on his chest looks the brightest, edges still crisp, shading looking rich in the skulls beneath each wing. They seem to move as Jungkook takes a breath, snapping you out of it as you look back into his eyes. 
“Is this even enough for you?” he jokes, smiling wide when you nod in confirmation, your eyes following his movements as his hand returns to your jeans. You watch with bated breath as he unbuttons the top, slowly pulling down the zipper before his hands hook into the waistband and starts to tug. Your hips lift from the bed to help, allowing him to pull them off, tossing them to the side along with your shoes and socks. 
You can feel your stomach flipping with nerves, the worry of doing something new with someone new, the small clouds of insecurity rolling in, wondering if you looked good in this angle, if maybe Jungkook preferred you to look a certain way or wear cute underwear with bows on the front instead of the black regular cotton ones you currently have on. 
It all settles down as he drops lowers, eyes looking up at you as he presses kisses onto your hips and slowly tugs your underwear down, clearly not paying any mind to them. A trail of goosebumps blossom down your thighs, following your underwear as he pulls them off too. He stands up once more, eyes swimming with want as he sees you. 
“Let me get a good look at you,” he murmurs when he notices the way your arms begin to want to cover yourself up at being fully exposed. He thinks it's cute how shy you seem now, eyes bouncing away from his as he takes his time drinking you in. With your eyes diverted, he thinks it's a great time to dive in, his hands coming down to grip your palms while his face nudges its way into the crook of your neck to kiss your skin, smiling at the way you gasp and laugh at the ticklish feeling
“Jungkook!” you giggle, feeling his hands pin your own down on the bed, his mouth traveling down your body as he guides your hands into his hair, letting you know he wants you to keep playing with the strands. Your finger twirls his hair around, feeling him smile against your skin as he descends once more. 
“Everything about you is so pretty,” he mumbles into your stomach, eyes peering up at you while his hands return to your hips, slowly sliding down to your thighs to grip the flesh. Wet kisses smack into your skin, leaving a trail on each hip and down your thigh until he’s suddenly biting. He laughs when you gasp, your fingers tugging his hair on instinct when you look down with a shocked expression. 
“Looked so good you had to take a bite?” you joke, smiling down at him, feeling the fluttering in your stomach when he winks. 
“Oh I need more than just a bite,” he groans, fingers tightening their hold on your thighs before he presses a kiss directly onto your mound, slowly sticking his tongue out to gently flick along your slit. 
Jungkook loves the way your breath gets shaky as you exhale, a soft moan of his name reaching his ears when he gently parts your folds and teasingly flicks against your clit. A part of him knows this might be the one and only time he’ll ever get to experience you like this, the only time he’ll see you flush on his bed, gasping for more as your hips roll into him. So he wants to store every moment in his brain, keep it locked away until the next time he misses you. 
“Fuck Jungkook, that feels good,” you moan, fingers locked in his hair, keeping him close as he ravishes you. The praise makes his ego grow, lips wrapping around your clit and sucking with the perfect amount of pressure. It makes your stomach tense, short little zaps of electricity flowing through your body with each flick of his tongue. 
“Good, I just wanna make you feel good.” He leans back a bit, admiring the look of your sodden folds for a moment before he's letting a glob of spit drip from his mouth directly onto your clit. He bites his lip as his fingers spread it around, coating his digits as he circles your entrance. His eyes meet yours again, brow raised in question, smiling when you nod in response. Slowly, he pushes forward, eyes focused on your reaction, seeing the way you bite down on your lip as his finger sinks in. 
Jungkook tries not to let his mind get carried away when he feels your walls fluttering around his digit, already imagining how you would feel around him, feeling his cock aching in his jeans as he sinks a second finger in to properly stretch you out. With each thrust of his fingers his mind wanders further, the need to see you falling apart leading his mouth back onto you, the combining sensation making you moan louder. 
The stretch of his fingers has your head spinning, eyes falling shut as you mewl on his sheets, fingers raking through his hair. “More Jungkook, please,” you whimper, not able to get enough of him. 
The desperation lacing your voice makes Jungkook’s heart flutter, ready to comply with anything you want. He moans against your folds, a third finger adding to the delicious stretch. The wet clicks of his fingers thrusting into your drenched pussy fill the room, and it's the greed living inside of Jungkook that makes him want to thrust into you faster, make it so that all you can hear is the sound of your pleasure. 
Your breath hitches in your throat when he curves his fingers upwards, tickling the sweet spot that makes your eyes roll. That’s when you feel the familiar cool sensation of his rings once more. You were used to feeling them on your arms when he playfully pulled you around, used to the feeling of them on your cheeks when he gripped your face before kissing you, but feeling them against your cunt each time he thrust his fingers forward, it made your body burn up with lust. There was something about having the name of a club you were told to stay far away from pressed against you salaciously that only made the waves of pleasure you feel crash over you even harder. 
“Mm, close Jungkook,” you whine, your free hand sliding up your body to tug and pinch at your nipples. Jungkook peers up at you from between his thighs and the visual of you playing with yourself while he ate you out has him making a mess in his underwear. He doesn’t even care how easy it is for you to make him this needy, knowing you were enjoying yourself because of him was all that mattered. 
“Wanna feel you baby,” he mutters out, lips shiny with your arousal, fingers scissoring inside of you, feeling the way your walls tighten around him. Your hands grip his hair tighter, making him hiss, a breathy laugh hitting your messy folds when you guide his mouth back onto you. 
Jungkook knows you’re right on the edge, the craving for your release making you arch your back, moans of his name slurring together with pleas for more more. All it takes is a few more flicks of his tongue for your climax to crest, the prettiest moan he’s ever heard reaching his ears as you gush around his fingers. 
“There you go, good girl,” he groans, pulling back as he licks his lips, staring at your trembling body with eyes swimming with lust. His thumb replaces his mouth, rubbing your swollen clit, enjoying the way you writhe at the slight overstimulation. 
“Ah, ‘Guk,” you whimper. And the new nickname has him smiling, loving the way it sounds coming from you so much he almost doesn’t want to stop. It takes your small hands coming down to grip his wrist for him to finally pull away, your soft giggles of enjoyment coming to a halt when he slips his fingers into his mouth. 
“Told you I needed more than just a bite,” he teases, making an absolute show of licking his fingers. “What about you, are you satisfied?”
You lift yourself up with one arm, the other reaching forward to grip his belt loop, tugging him closer as you look up at him through your lashes. “Mm, no I don’t think I am.” His abs tense when your finger trails along his skin, toying with the button on his jeans, slowly popping them open and pulling down the zipper. 
“Then I need to fix that,” he mumbles, tongue flicking his lip ring as he stares down at you, watching the way you reach down to palm at his bulge. Your face lights up at his words, a smile spreading on your face as he helps you tug down his jeans, obviously eager. Jungkook’s smirk only deepens when your eyes widen once you finally release his cock, a small gasp escaping you at the size of him. 
Pearly beads of precum collect at his tip, swollen and aching for your touch, so when you finally grasp his length and swipe your thumb along the bulbous tip he lets out a deep groan that has your core clenching. 
“Fuck, babe.” He grunts when your palm starts to slide up and down, his eyes focused on the way you slowly inch forward, your tongue peeking out to gently lick his tip. Jungkook knows he’s in trouble, already feeling his body react to your touch. All you had done was give him a few teasing touches and his mind was already spinning. Its an inner battle as he watches you take more of him into your mouth, his jaw dropping at the warm feeling, hands clenching by his side when you moan at the taste of him. 
“Y/N,” he groans, “you’re gonna make me cum too fast.” You pop off of him with a wet smack, a saccharine smile on your lips as you giggle. 
“And that’s a bad thing?” Your head tilts as you question him, hand still lazily pumping his length. 
“It is when I want to fuck you first.” That makes your hand finally stop, brows raising in interest. Your free hand slides up his body, carefully cupping his face, guiding him down to kiss you. 
“Then fuck me, Jungkook. I’m yours,” you murmur against his lips, feeling him groan against you as he kisses you harder. You know what you mean. You’re his for the night, despite how strong your connection with him is, the reality was that as long as Minho had his claws sunk into you, there would never be a chance for you and Jungkook to delve deeper into this relationship. But this tiny bubble you were both in was enough for you. 
The energy is different than what you’re used to, the both of you smiling through the kisses, soft words whispered against skin as you help him take off his jeans. Jungkook’s laugh is infectious when you gasp at the sight of his thighs, the double headed wolf tattoo catching your attention immediately, praising it under your breath before he’s kissing you once more, telling you he’ll let you properly see it later as his hands grope your sides. 
“How do you want me?” you mumble, gently nipping his lip. 
“If it was my way I’d have you in every position I could think of. You tell me, baby.” If Jungkook let his selfish desires take over, he’d tell you he wanted you to ride him, let you bounce on top of him and use him while he got to watch your pretty face. But he can’t be that selfish, even if the small pestering voice in his head tells him that this might be his only chance to. Still, his eyes are soft as he pulls back, ringed hand caressing your face with a tenderness that makes your heart clench
“Can I ride you?” Your voice is timid, just above a whisper, but it makes Jungkook shut his eyes and groan. You see, he wasn’t corny, didn’t believe in fate or anything like that, but for a brief moment Jungkook's convinced this was meant to be. 
“Fuck,” he groans, leaning forward to rest his forhead against yours. “Yes, please.”
The way he begs makes your pussy ache, hips instinctively rolling up into his, enjoying the way he hisses, rutting his cock against your inner thigh. The beads of precum leak off his tip, leaving a small puddle by your hip, smeared around as he repeats the action. 
“O-okay,” you gasp, biting down on your lip as you peek at the visual, trying not to get lost in the way he teases himself. “Let me ‘Guk, wanna feel you.”
He nods, tendrils of hair tickling your face as he kisses you again before leaning back. You try not to stare but it's so hard when he looks like that, length hard and bobbing as he rummages through the drawer by his bed, a sheepish smile on his lips when he plucks out a shiny square packet. 
Your heart races in your chest as you sit up, coming onto your knees and crawling to the head of the bed, gently patting the space next to you. Jungkook’s quick to settle beside you, back leaning against the small headboard, large hands reaching to grab your hips and hoist you over his thighs. A small laugh escapes you at being manhandled, the toned muscles of his thighs felt underneath you, his cock poking at your belly from your proximity. 
Your eyes are glued to it, watching in awe as he pulls out the condom and carefully rolls it on, a small sigh meeting your ears. 
“Can’t wait to feel you,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his jaw, your hand meeting his around his cock as you lift your hips just enough. His free hand finds your hip again as you guide his tip to your entrance, teasingly circling it, slipping the tip inside for a second before popping it back out, the two of you gasping at the feeling. 
“Mm, sit on it,” he groans, brows pinched together as he nudges his nose into your neck. Wet kisses mark your skin, his hand getting tighter on your hip when you repeat the action again before finally sinking further down. Your walls clench around him, the stretch making you whine. You had seen his size, knowing just how big he was, but now that he’s inside of you and you feel it, you pace yourself. 
It's unintentionally torturous, the warm tightness slowly enveloping more of him and all he could do was clench his jaw and grip you harder. Jungkook is patient, fighting every urge he has to thrust up or sit you down fully. Instead he murmurs praises into your skin, tells you how good you feel, how good you’re doing, that you’re almost there until you’re butt rests flush against his thighs. 
A shuddering breath hits his shoulder, your face coming up to stare at him properly now. He’s staring at you with hooded eyes, mouth slightly opened as he gasps when your walls flutter. 
“So big,” you mumble, kissing him gently, lips ghosting over his, hips slowly lifting an inch before coming back down. 
“I know, baby. Take your time.” He groans, kissing you harder, teeth clicking together in his haste, breathing into each other. Jungkook felt like he was dreaming, some sick fantasy teasing him while he slept, giving him a taste of you before reality would settle in and snatch it all away. But you don’t usually feel this way in his dreams, don’t dig your nails into his shoulder as you quicken your pace, your wetness dripping down his cock and pooling at the base. And Jungkook is glad that he prefers reality over his dreams for once. 
“Oh god ‘Guk,” you moan, skin slapping together with each rise and fall of your hips. His lips are coated in a sheen of spit, swollen from your kisses and gentle bites, but he gives you a smile, clearly enjoying your reaction to him. 
“Does it feel good baby?” he murmurs, voice deep and raspy at the edges, his hand sliding up your thighs, pressing into your tummy with a tilt to his head. “Feel nice and full?”
You shudder at his question, feeling the pressure of his palm, and you swear you can feel the tip of his cock nudging into it. “Y-yes, so good, so full. Just wanna fuck you forever.”
He hums, feeling your words deep inside of him. It makes him melt into the headboard, hand traveling further up until he has a handful of your tits in them. Jungkook plays with them a bit, finger pinching and twisting the hard buds, tugging gently at the silver bar, hearing you moan at the sensation. 
“You can fuck me whenever you want,” he grunts at a particular drop of your hips, the wetness aiding in your pace. 
“Really?”
“Mhm,” he groans, thumb rolling along your nipple, softly rutting up into you. “Just text me whenever you want it. Pretty face, delicious pussy, I’ll always be here for you.”
“You’re such a romantic,” you giggle, throwing your head back as you get lost in the motion. Jungkook laughs with you, arm scooping around your back to pull you closer, his mouth kissing up and down your neck, teeth grazing the surface with the urge to suck but he knows better. 
“Just for you,” he breathes into your skin, feeling you laugh again. 
It feels like nothing else matters, not the potential consequences to this, no worry about what this meant for your special friendship. All that matters is that Jungkook is grabbing you like he can’t get enough of you, kissing you like his life depends on it, not shy at all at vocalizing how good it all feels. 
“Wanna cum,” you gasp, cupping his face, seeing the way he focuses on your lips as you speak. 
“Yeah? Tell me what you need.” He bends his knees slightly, pressure on his heels as he fucks up into you. The jiggle of your tits makes his mouth water, caught in a daze. 
“Need you to touch me.” It's the softest plea, tone dripping and needy, making Jungkook nod immediately. He bites his lip as he trails a hand up your chest, over your neck until he’s cupping your jaw, his thumb rubbing along your lower lip. With a gentle tap, you’re opening up, eyes locked together as you wrap your lips around the digit and suck, giving him a teasing bite as he tries to pull it out. 
He smiles at you, bringing down his soaked thumb in between your bodies until it reaches home directly onto your clit. The sudden touch makes you gasp, bundle of nerves swollen and sensitive, and its almost too much. But he’s gentle, easing you into the feeling, only applying more pressure when you finally relax, falling back into the delicious rhythm you have going. 
Jungkook can feel the coil tightening inside of him with each pulse of your pussy, walls clamping around him on each lift, making an absolute mess as the arousal drips onto his balls. 
“More?” He quickens his finger, circling your clit faster, paying close attention to your reaction. 
“Oh, fuck. No, like that. Just like that.” So he does, jaw dropped open as he watches you get lost in it all, bouncing on top of him as fast as you wanted, using him just like he wanted. Your thighs burn but it feels too good to think about stopping, the beginning signs of your orgasm licking at your skin, encouraging you to fuck him faster. You can hear how messy you’re leaving him, the squelch of your pussy blending in with the moans and thumping of the headboard. 
“Close, fuck—ah,” you stutter and gasp, brows pinched together tightly, only able to stare at him as you start to fall apart. He looks at you in awe, breathing in time with you, matching each gasp and moan, thumb slipping around in your slick. It's the accidental flick of his that has you tumbling over the edge, nearly shrieking out his name as your high comes barreling at you. 
Jungkook curses under his breath as you tremble above him. Your hand curls into his hair, yanking him forward into a messy kiss as you moan unabashedly, his thumb continuing to flick along your puffy clit for another minute to work you through it before he’s clutching onto your hips and controlling your speed. You’re still twitching at the aftershocks, small sparks kissing your skin and leaving you in a comfortable haze as you tangle your tongue with his, pulling back with a smile so sweet. 
“I wanna see you cum Jungkook,” you kiss him again, teasing him as you pull away and watch him chase you for more. “Made me feel so good, want you to cum for me.”
Jungkook groans, nodding as he wraps his arm around you, pushing off the headboard until the air is whooshing around you and your back is meeting the sheets once more. He cages you in easily, arms under your back, cradling your head as he buries his face into your neck and surges his hips into you. 
Your breath leaves you at the change in position, legs wrapping around his hips, shuddering as his pelvis nudges your sensitive clit. He doesn’t care how desperate he looks, fucking you like he was starved of affection, the need to cum taking over all of his senses. 
“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Your nails dig into his back, scratching along his skin, making him groan into your ear. His thrusts grow more sporadic, shallow, losing their grace as your purposefully clench around him. 
“Oh shit, you’re gonna make me cum.” He whines, voice breathy against your neck, and you swear you’ll cum again. 
“Yeah? Cum for me, c’mon,” you whisper, grazing his back and tightening your walls again. He nods against you before he’s leaning back, giving you the view you so sweetly asked for. His thick brows are furrowed on his forehead, eyes heady with lust, and a deep groan of your name spilling past his lips as he cums. Your feet urge him closer as his hips stutter, rutting into you to milk his orgasm as he fills up the condom. 
The room falls quiet for a moment, the both of you catching your breath, hearts slowing down as the high settles over your bones. And then he’s laughing, flopping back over you and tightening his hold on your body. 
“Why are you laughing?” You giggle too, hands running through his hair as you smile in a love sick daze. 
“I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard,” he admits sheepishly, kissing your warm skin, leaning back with a childish smile as he kisses your nose and ever so slowly starts to pull out of you. The sound is filthy, core sensitive and messy, and when he fully pulls out you can’t help but close your legs. 
He simply laughs, hand softly rubbing at your calves before he’s getting up and disposing of the condom. 
You’re still in that same foggy haze from earlier, even as Jungkook returns with a damp cloth to clean you up, all you can do is hum in thanks as you melt into his sheets. It doesn’t take long for him to settle in beside you again, holding you close, hand tickling the skin of the thigh you have hooked over his hip. 
“You have such pretty legs.” It’s a soft compliment, almost like it wasn’t meant to escape him. But when you look at him with a sincere smile he continues. “If you were mine I’d beg you to wear skirts all the time just so I could stare at them, touch them—“ he grips your thighs playfully, smiling at your laugh, “I’d be able to flick it up so easily and fuck you in it.”
Your laugh is louder now, your hand playfully swatting at his chest at how quick he was to get raunchy. 
If you were mine. 
That phrase repeats in your mind, sounding like a sweet song that you’d never get tired of hearing. 
“I’ll wear one at the meet next week,” you promise, running your hand over his chest. You knew you’d be seeing him there, able to freely ogle at him with all the neighboring clubs gathered together in an attempt to keep the peace. You might not be able to interact like you usually do, but just seeing him was enough. 
Just as he’s about to reply, the sound of a familiar engine cuts the air. You freeze instantly, wide eyes staring at Jungkook, seeing the confused look on his face. He lifts a hand up, motioning for you to stay as he sits up straighter, ears perking up when he hears the front door of the clubhouse open up. 
“Stay here. They won’t come in here but I know they saw my bike so I’ll get rid of them.” You can only nod as he hurries into his clothes, buttoning his jeans in a haste and deciding to forgo his shirt and shoes as he all but runs out of the room, shutting the door behind him. 
The haze you felt earlier is long gone, anxiety settling into your bones once more, realizing just what sort of situation you were in. Jungkook seemed to think the golden rule of staying away from Cobras was fine with you, but who knows just what kind of loyalty the Six member in the other room holds. 
All you needed was one man hell bent on loyalty to come barging in, and you don’t even want to think of what would become of you. Your heart rattles in your chest as you sit up too, eyes glancing around the room to find your pile of clothes. 
You can hear them mumbling in the main room, Jungkook’s laughter sounding out as he jokes around with his fellow brother. You can only imagine what he’s telling him, maybe explaining why theres a second bike parked next to his, or giving his reason for being shirtless and disheveled at the clubhouse this late in the day. Whatever is going on, you know you shouldn’t wait around to see how it plays out. Being with Jungkook makes reality pause, fade away and leave you to believe that things were meant to be this easy. 
But that's not your reality. 
You knew you wanted this to happen, could still feel the butterflies in your stomach as you remember the way he kissed your skin. But you couldn’t let the line be crossed this far again. You’re not sure karma would be too kind to you the next time. 
As quiet as you can, you slip out of bed, carefully putting your clothes back on and looking at the desk in the corner. Before you overthink it, you grab the pen and notepad he has resting on top of paperwork, scribbling out a quick note before you’re returning to his bedside, yanking up the curtains and wiggling the window open to slip out. 
Back in the main room, Jungkook is sitting on the bar stool, Hoseok resting against the counter as they both joke around. Jungkook is thankful that Hoseok doesn’t seem to ask too many questions, knowing very well that he must have some girl in the room, but he wasn’t nosey enough to want to know who. 
“So you’re not gonna introduce your friend?” he jokes, giving Jungkook a coy smile, enjoying the way his younger friend blushes and shoves his shoulder. 
“No you weirdo, you fucking scared her by showing up like this. Why the hell are you here anyway?”
Hoseok cackles, pushing away from the counter and walking towards the meeting room. “Sorry, I didn't mean to be a cockblock. I forgot to grab some paperwork.” The way he says it makes it seem like it was work documents, contracts that needed to be signed instead of files detailing the amount of guns they’d be receiving in the next drop. He disappears into the room, returning a few moments later with the folder in his hand. “I’ll be out of your hair now.”
And he does just that, waving goodbye and stepping back outside. But as he approaches his bike he realizes the bike he had seen next to Jungkook’s was missing now. 
Jungkook is none the wiser as he walks back to his room, a smile on his face that falls when he doesn’t see you on the bed. The sheets are a mess, your clothes are missing, his curtains are drawn up and his window remains cracked open. He steps closer now, a white sheet of paper catching his attention on his desk. 
Thanks for the tour, I think your room might be my favorite<3 Remember, we take this to our graves. We’ll kiss on it over sour straws soon x
Ps. I’ll see you at the meet, I’ll be the one in the short skirt. 
Maybe it's the sick hopefulness he feels in his chest, but Jungkook can’t help but smile as he thinks this won’t be the last time afterall.
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bigfatbimbo · 2 months
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HELLO OMG I ADORE U SM LIKE-❤❤
aside from my endless love and appreciation for you, i'd also like to make a request if that's okay!, it's also gonna be NSFW and kinda shameless so my apologies if it's kida weird- IM NEW TO THIS REQUESTING STUFF AND ITS ALWAYS SO AWKWARD ASKING FOR STUFF LIKE THIS😭 (grammar mistakes are also possible, english is my second language and my keyboard is dyslexic)
I'm having MAJOR sub Lucifer brainrot and would LOVE to read anything with my needy boy in it<3 had a specific scenerio where he's being edged to the point he's crying and trashing around a little as he's begging. For what?, he doesn't know, he's just whining and whimpering for anything at this point, just whining for his mommy to touch him and that it hurts so much but it's so good<33 ending with soft aftercare where he slowly comes out of his subspace by sucking on and groping mommys tits, falling asleep in a peaceful cuddle :)
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a/n — I’m so sleepy right now, so apologies for any grammar mistakes. I’ve looked over it twice but i’m genuinely scared for when I reread this tomorrow morning.
summary — Lucifer being mercilessly edged before sucking on the readers tits to fall asleep.
warnings — Fem!reader, use of the word mommy, sub Lucifer, edging, dom reader, obviously
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“Mommy, please, nngh—“ Lucifer squirms on the bed, “I’ve been such a good boy.”
“And you’ll continue to be one, at least until I say you can cum,” you coo down at him all too sweetly. He whines pathetically and bucks his cock up into your hand.
At this point you’d been edging him for hours, sucking him off, riding him, and now giving him a simple hand job. Surprisingly, Lucifer had held strong this whole time.
You couldn’t lie, you were fully expecting to have to punish him for coming prematurely but he had held himself together this whole time. You could only assume he’d just wanted to be good for you that bad.
It almost made you pity him. He squirmed and thrashed around on the bed below you, a slick layer of sweat coating his forehead as he held himself back. His hair fell on his forehead in messy tangles and his cheeks were stained with tears.
He looked absolutely wrecked, ready and willing to do your bidding. Of course, if it meant he could finally cum.
“Ungh, mommy, help me, please. Please—“ He pleaded desperately, sniffing loudly and choking on his own spit, “Please I can’t hold off…”
His sentence trailed off as he found it increasingly hard to form words, let alone coherent thoughts. 
“I know sweetie, and you’ve been so patient and good for me,” you praise, rubbing your hand on the tip of his dick as precum leaked out. 
He whimpered and arched his back into your touch. His crying and sniffling was only interrupted by the inconsistent muttering of the word ‘mommy’ over and over again.
“So pretty like this, absolutely wrecked and desperate. My pretty boy,” you remark, jerking him off faster, “You’re so beautiful, baby.”
He cried out, moaning and sobbing and he through his head back into the pillow.
You shush him, “Have you had enough, sweetheart? Do you think it’s time for you to cum?”
He nods his head vigorously and lets out tears of relief at the thought of finally being permitted to release. 
“Yes, nngh—“ he whines, “—mommy, please. ‘ve been so good.”
“Yes you have, Lucifer,” you caress his face with your free hand, “It’s time for you to let go baby. You’re allowed.”
You barely get your sentence out before Lucifer arches his back, throws his head into the pillows once more, and releases.
Falling back, breathless, he lays there and waits for your touch. 
It doesn’t take long for you to take a spot next to him, brushing his hair from out of his face, “My pretty boy, you did so good for mommy.”
Lucifer whines and curls up, laying his head on your lap and gazing up at you with half lidded eyes.
You stroke his hair and coo down praises at him, telling him how well he took everything and how proud of him you are.
It was only when you were just about to get up and clean the bed, Lucifer lifted his head up and hovered his hand over your exposed tits. 
“May I have one?” Lucifer practically whispers, clearly not at all recovered from his submissive headspace.
You hesitate, but you figure it’d be easier to clean up after he falls asleep so you can just move him to the side. 
Happily, you smile down at him and nod, “Of course, baby. Help yourself.”
He doesn’t waste time before latching onto your tit and sucking lazily. He moans slightly as he gropes the other one with his hand.
You rub his back and pull him closer, “Good boy. You look so pretty sucking on mommy’s tits like this.”
He whimpers against you and his lips start to move sloppily. It was clear Lucifer was being lured into a deep sleep, just as you expected. 
His movements got slower and slower, just as your praise turned into quiet whispers of approval. 
Finally he stopped moving, gradually falling limp against your chest. You take a moment to admire him sleeping before moving him aside to cleanup.
You softly clean Lucifer’s sleeping body in order to not wake him up, and make sure there aren’t any lingering liquids on the sheets around you.
After doing one finale scope of the area, you crawl in bed next to him and pull him into your chest, spooning him gently.
He was so pretty like this, sleeping safe and soundly next to you. 
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a/n — The idea of Lucifer with a mommy kink intrigues me heavily. You guys gotta let me cook on the physiological reasons why he’s into it though.
Can’t think of any at the moment but i’m tired and he’s a fucked up little guy. So i’m sure there are some
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cas-per-420 · 8 months
Text
Neuvillette as your sugar daddy
small lil things about neuvillette being your sugar daddy :)
(includes: sex, smut, fluff, mentions of menstruation, mentions of being gagged, bondage, overstimulation, and orgasm denial, sugar daddy and sugar baby dynamic, neuvilette being sweet and a caring sugar daddy and Fem reader)
Neuvillette x Fem!Reader
NSFW and FLUFF below the cut
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You didn't know what you were getting yourself into but it's not like you could complain, especially when your sugar daddy loves to spoil you so much. he does do it with an equal price, after all it isn't free. As long as he gets to rut his fat cock into your soaked pussy, he'll give you everything you desire; clothes, new pretty lingerie (that ends up on the floor whenever you try it on with him in the room), designer bags, shoes and much more.
neuvillette is a very busy man but whenever you swing by his home or work he's always got time for his sweet sugar baby, whether it's just talking to him or bending you over the nearest counter and fucking you senseless. 
You sometimes get ashamed of the age gap between you but your sugar daddy is always there to tell you that it doesn't matter, as long as it's consensual it's okay. After talking to you about your worries he'll bring you a cup of tea and some cake to relax you, making sure you're okay because your feelings matter to him so much.
sometimes when he's in a work related meeting his phone will start to go off, the sound he chose signalled that it was you who was messaging him. when he opened the message he saw a picture attached to a text saying something about trying on a new set, he then looked at the picture which was you in a royal blue thong and bra with your legs spread wide and a vibrator shoved deep inside your cunt. he quickly stood up to go to the bathroom and rubbed one out but you knew that you would definitely not be walking for the next day.
you knew better than to be a brat but you loved the punishments it came with, and he does too. you'd be overestimated or denied of an orgasm, you'd be spanked, tied up and even gagged but if it does get too much and you end up using the safe word, he'd be quick to hold you close and apologise over and over again being the big softie he is. You know he'd never hurt you or do anything to make you upset so it's extremely rare to have an argument or for him to make you upset, and if he does you should expect a large bouquet of roses and tons of chocolates at your doorstep.
if its your time of the month do expect him to go full on mama Bird on you. he'd be making sure your taking pain killers if your cramps are bad, making sure your heating pad/hot water bottle is warm, and making sure you eat three meals a day. he does understand when you yell at him for no apparent reason then start to cry, he'd be there to comfort you in every moment, wanting to make you as comfortable as possible and taking your mind off of the cramps and blood. Just because he's your sugar daddy doesn't mean he's not capable of caring and loving for you.
~fin~
( I hope you liked it, ik it's a bit messy, but who cares)
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tofulikesmala · 5 months
Text
Genshin cuddle headcannons
Genre: fluff
who?: Neuvillette, thoma, xiao, scaramouche, tighnari, itto, freminet,
Neuvillette
ah yes, hard on the outside but soft on the inside
He's the very clingy type, even if he tries his best to remain formal, he can't help but be attached to you
Would bury his face in your neck
You would usually have to initiate it first,
He would be the big spoon, but he's okay with small spoon too!
Being the big spoon, he could feel you by your side, making sure your safe
If he were the small spoon, this man would be blushing like mad, trust me
Thoma
Mmmm yes thoma >33
I feel he would be the more romantic type when it comes to cuddling, embracing every part of your body, tucking your hair behind your ears, ykyk
Well, depends on your personality, who initiates first might differ?but i feel thoma would be the kind of person to request to cuddle shamelessly
He's fine with both big spoon and small spoon
If he's the big spoon, you'll definitely be receiving headpats!!!!!
If he's the small spoon, he'd lie on your tummy, no matter the size
Xiao
Bold of you to assume this man gets sleep
But......if its you...who is he to decline?
"The adepti don't rest....let alone sleep. How absurd of you to think I would cuddle."
Nah man your going to find this man clinging onto you like there's no tomorrow at 3 fucking am in the morning
Good luck, because he's not gonna let you go
Need to go to the toilet? Nah you have a bladder for a reason
He's def big spoon, only on rare occasions you wake up, to you hugging his body
He'd definitely be embarrassed 100%
Scaramouche
Well, he'd be reluctant at first, for sure, but he will give in. eventually
Well, at least he won't appear in your room at 3 fucking am in the morning like somebody
He's def big spoon, he just can't afford to hurt his pride lololol
Would 100% flick your forehead for absolutely no reason
He's also the type to NOT.LET.YOU.GO.
“scara babe i need to go to the toilet :("
Naur he would just groan and fall back asleep
Man's grip on you is STRONG. You won't be able to wiggle out lol
Tighnari
DEUWYFGUYWEGUQFE I WANNA HUG HIS TAIL SO BAD
Would def allow you to hug his tail
His face would be so red as you gently stroke it
You could wake up in the middle of the night and see his ears twitching
He won't have such a strong grip on you, but it won't be a loose one either
If you wiggle out and go to the toilet, and he finds out he will be sad :(
His ears would go down
Once your back, expect to receive lots of forehead kissessss
Both big and small spoon is fine with him
Itto
Good luck with this guy💀
Better say your prayers to your family and friends, because this guy IS GONNA PLANT HIS WHOLE FUCKING ASS ON YOU
he's laying on top of you, crushing you with his weight
nah im kidding, he knows he's on the heavier side, so he'd adjust back later
Oh but don't be surprised if you found his foot shoved up your face
But in the non messy times, he'd definitely hold you tight, making sure you with him
Another one to shamelessly demand for cuddles
Freminet
He tries to be a big spoon, but you end up pampering him instead XD
Its 90% of the time you initiate it first
Bro would be the definition of blushing mess
He would rest his head against your chest
If your flat (like me) he would listen to the soft thumps of your heartbeat. It comforts him in a way
If you have bigger chests, he'd be so embarrassed, be he likes to use it as a pillow, he finds it very comfortable, as long as your okay with it of course!
He would hug you tight, but would start apologising once he realises :(
Notes: MY SECOND FIC HHAHAHAHA LOVE YALL
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bunicate · 2 months
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Alhaitham making his little sister ride her stuffed toy for him! grinding her pussy on one of her favourites as she whines about how it’s gonna ruin her favourite stuffie!
⋆⁺₊❅⋆ 𐙚 ₊˚ warnings ꒱ྀི incest. infantilization. handjob. brief blowjob. pillow humping / 18+
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“this is so unfair .”
you’d cross your arms if they weren’t currently occupied. reluctantly, one hand knits into the bedsheets to keep yourself in place. the other commits to slow sensual strokes of his cock, timed with the messy ruts of your pussy, defacing the once pale pink bunny.
the innocent stuffed animal with beady eyes, now the color of mulberry from your arousal, was ruined. if you didn’t know your big brother so well, you’d easily miss the subtle flicker of mirth in his blue-green eyes.
“how is it unfair? I'm playing with you just as you asked.”
you narrow your eyes at him, but its merely an undignified expression when the stuffed bunny's hard nose pokes your clit.
“t-this is not — hmmph— what I meant.”
his eyes lower and the side of his lip upturns. it’s not audible, but he’s laughing at you. you’re certain of it, and his cock only hardens in your grasp.
“y’got me ruining mr.cuddles. . .” you grumble.
“I can buy you another.”
a curse dies on the tip of your tongue just as frustration settles from his retort. the last thing you want is to add to your torment. as promising as it could be, al haitham had an immeasurable amount of self-control.
he’d wring your little cunt dry, and you don’t think you could handle much more of his teasing, but god, the poor creature was soiled.
you know how much embarrassing you arouses him and you sure don’t miss the pre-cum that deliciously clumps at the tip of his member. you know it’s at your expense because he throbs within your palm.
his fingers, veiny and all encompassing, cup the back of your head, slightly tugging at the roots of your hair.
it doesn’t hurt, but there’s enough pressure to signal his intolerance of your potential defiance.
“enlighten me. tell me what you meant.”
your head lolls back, staring at the scribe with tears blurring your vision. you thumb his tip and whine when you feel a dollop of his warm seed land on your thigh.
“when you told me you wanted to play, let me guess . . . did you mean on . . . my cock ?” 
theres a swirl of something you can only describe as unadulterated desperation at his show of mockery. there’s a sardonic glint as he soaks in how pretty you look jerking him off.
you nod stiffly. “u-uh huh.”
but he only feigns pity.
“that’s too bad, isn’t it ?” he reaches down to grip your backside. he lifts you slightly and sees crystal strings of wetness connecting from your cunt to poor mr.cuddles.
“look at that mess,” the scribe whispers, and that only fuels your need to bury yourself under your sheets.
“this isn’t what you wanted and yet, you’re dripping . . .” he shakes his in farce disappointment, “but nevertheless, let’s problem solve.”
he lets go of you to stop your hand from stroking his leaking member.
he firmly grabs himself, pumping his swollen cock slowly — roughly, until a pretty coat of pre-cum envelops his tip.
he points his throbbing appendage towards your mouth, pressing it towards your quivering lips. he wipes his head messily around the surface until trails of slick begins to glisten.
you physically resist the urge to suck and swallow even when the faint taste of salt drips on your tongue.
there’s a deep hum when you meet his wanton stare.
“would you have more fun if I put my cock in your little mouth instead ?”
you mewl. god, you can smell him. it’s a rich and musky scent mingled with a woodsy vanilla.
your mouth collects spit as he continues to drag his fat tip down the seam of your plump lips.
his cock is just as pretty as the rest of him. it’s wide with an odd number of veins running down his length. it wilts from its own weight despite being so hard.
his eyes glaze over, chuckling before he answers for you, “yeah, of course you would,” he murmurs. “you’d suck it just like how you suck those lollipops.”
al haitham rubs at your scalp, dragging your head so his member slides against the opening of your mouth. by now, you’re panting like needy pup with your tongue lapping up the underside of his cock.
“what if —“ his eyes flicker down to between your thighs, “I put it right here ?”
his fingers skillfully slide past your overstimulated clit to nestle in your little hole. you breathe out a loud sigh of relief when they slowly sink in, stretching your tight walls.
“h-haithy. . .” your mouth parts as meek cries fall from your sweet lips, breath fanning his dick.
“oh, what cute sounds. is this what you want ?”
“mhm. . . I dooooo,” you drawl.
your hand tangles around his wrist. it was a brave action, but he didn’t seem to mind. you were insatiable at this point as you unabashedly hump his thick fingers, chasing your own pleasure.
“I wan’ it, h-haithy. need your cock inside me.”
slick sticks to your thighs and your cunt audibly squeezes around his digits until he suddenly halts his movement.
“what do you do when you want something ?”
you sniffle, “u-use my big girl words.”
al haitham gives you a subtle look of approval.
“precisely.”
he falls silent, giving you a chance to speak but you remain hushed at first. rather, you’d let your actions allow him to draw his own conclusions.
you pull away to position yourself on your back, his fingers slipping out of your warmth.
he watches you closely, anticipating your next move.
your arms come behind your knees, revealing both of your pretty holes. delicate fingers part your puffy folds like pages of his books, displaying the gaping hole he was moments away from fucking.
with pursed lips and gleaming eyes, you ask just like how he taught you.
“big brother . . . can you please make me cum on your cock ?”
your tight pussy clenches around nothing, pushing out a stringy rivulet of creamy white.
there’s a crack in his composure.
al haitham effortlessly pulls his shirt over his head. his strong abdomen on display flexes with every breath he takes. it’s intimidating how stalks towards you, inching towards the bed with purpose.
he’s eager to mount you, his sweet little sister with a perfect ass, and a fat wet cunt he’d milk over and over again.
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drudyslut · 3 months
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— summary: you’ve wanted jj for as long as you can remember, but the two of you have always been stubborn when it came to your feelings for one another. a months long secret affair behind his girlfriend, kiara’s back, and getting caught by john b finally pushes jj to do what he should have done months ago.
— warnings: smut! 18+ cheating!!! oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, getting caught by john b, strong language. i think that’s it.
— note: y’all probably think i’m awful lmao. two cheating fics in one week? 🫣 anywhoooo, i don’t condone cheating by any means, but for the plot, it was necessary. not a very long one, but enjoy<3
likes, comments + reblogs are appreciated!!
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❥ desire — j.m
“please jj, ‘m so close, it hurts, please… let me— shit! let me cum”
jj’s tongue continues its assault on your sensitive pussy, his tongue dragging up and down the length of your sopping core, lips wrapping around your clit and sucking at it softly before releasing it and penetrating your tight hole with his tongue.
your legs were shaking, fingers buried in his messy blond locks as he worked you toward your third orgasm.
jj lets your clit pop from his lips, lifting his head so his darkened over eyes could meet yours. “fuckin’ love how good you taste, wanna die between these legs”
he slips a finger inside of you, slowly thrusting it in and out, slightly curving it and hitting at your gspot. you let out a pathetic whine, head firmly pressed into the pillows as your third orgasm was threatening to burst. your stomach tightens, legs tense as jj continues the slow thrusts of his finger, his head dipping down and wrapping his lips around your sensitive bundle of nerves.
you feel the band snap, your orgasm rushing through you and soaking jj’s face and fingers, shouts of his name and soft whines pulled from you.
“jj- s’too much! please… please no.. no more”
he lifts himself up onto his knees, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand, “goddamn, got three out of ya this time, not bad mama”
you let out a sigh of relief, rolling your head to the side as you try and steady your breathing. jj’s voice startles you, the low and raspy tone in his voice making your core ache once more, “don’t think i’m done with ya now do ya princess? ‘m just gettin’ started”
you open your mouth to speak but only a high pitched squeal comes out, the swollen head of jj’s cock running through your soaking wet cunt making you squirm.
he sinks himself inside you, pulling a loud gasp from you. his hips begin pounding into yours, the squelching noises of your pussy and jj’s balls smacking against your ass bounce off the walls. you let out a loud moan and jj slaps a hand over your mouth, muffling your cries as he continues to pound himself inside of you.
you sink your teeth into his palm, making him hiss out a breath, “fuck!” he grunts out,
he lets his palm slide from your mouth, his hand snaking underneath your waist, gripping at your plump ass harshly as he fucks himself deeper into you.
you lift a leg and wrap it around jj’s waist, pulling him farther into you, his cock being pushed into so deep you could feel him in your stomach. you begin clenching around his dick, your inner walls squeezing him tightly as you near your release.
the sound of the front door squeaking open catches your attention, panic flooding your face, eyes wide as you stare up at jj, his face unfazed and focused on his quick and deep thrusts.
“j, someone’s-” you begin but jj cuts you off.
“i don’t give a fuck, focus on me”
you squeeze your eyes shut when the head of his dick hits at your gspot, making your pussy clamp down around him. your toes curl, back arching up off the bed when the door to the bedroom is pushed open, john b’s voice making your body go slack in jj’s hold.
“jj, what’re you- oh shit! sorry!” john b shouts, shielding his eyes and rushing from the room.
you place your palms on jj’s chest, his thrusts never slowing, even when his best friend walked in on the two of you, “jj! jj, stop! he just- he just caught us!”
jj’s hips don’t falter, his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek as he focuses on his impending release.
“hey, hey, don’t worry about him. he won’t say shit, focus” jj demands. you obey, pushing john b to the back of your mind and focusing on the feel of jj’s cock sliding in and out of your sopping cunt.
jj’s hips begin to stutter, his dick pulsing inside of you as you clench around him uncontrollably. jj lets out a strained groan as his cum shoots inside of you, your body shaking as you come undone around his cock shortly after.
he slides his softening cock from you and pushes himself off the bed, finding his boxers and sliding them up his legs. you wrap the bedsheet over your chest, staring back at him. you’d been caught, what if john b tells kiara? you know what you’re doing is wrong, but you can’t seem to stop yourself. you want jj, but the two of you have always been stubborn when it came to your feelings for one another.
as if he was reading your mind, jj sits on the bed beside you, his large hand cupping your face as his ocean-blue eyes scanned your face. “hey, don’t worry. jb won’t say anything, besides… i’m- i’m gonna break things off with kie. she deserves better, and well.. you know i’m in love with you. it’s only fair we do this the right way”
you sigh, nodding your head as tears began to prick at your eyes. jj had never openly admitted he was in love with you, but you knew he was, so finally hearing the words out loud made your heart leap from your chest.
“i love you too, jj”
he smirks down at you, placing his hand on the back of your head and pressing his lips against your forehead. “i’ll be back, ‘m gonna go talk to jb, try and get some sleep. everything will be sorted by the time you wake up”
you smile to yourself, laying yourself in his bed and pulling the covers up to your nose. you close your eyes, listening to him exit the room, leaving you with thoughts of finally having a real relationship with the man you’d been in love with for years.
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JJ TAGLIST: @rafeism @ivy-34 @thelomlisrafecameron @writingjjfics @always-reading @harrys-humble-housewife @maybankspov @immyowndefender @jjmaybankswifes-blog @wetbitchlibrary @xprloki @lizcameron @starkeypankowsbae @moremaybank @alexisbaumann2004 @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @thewitchesofart @unsaidjaelinrose @itsmytimetoodream @abbybarnesstuff @r1vrsefx @mel119g @rafetopia @jade-is-jaded @jjmaybankisbae @lexasaurs634 @fayerite @drewstarkeyslut @presleyanswrites @sierraluvz @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @jjsmarijuana @ijustwanttoreadlols @luversgirl @skyesthebomb @nirvanaissogood @stvrkey @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @superlegend216 @digitaldiary111 @redhead1180 @crgirlsworld @personalfavsthatarerandom @atorturedpoets @maybankslover @buckyisveryhot @cantstoptherecs @lyndys @ratatioulle @pradabambie @slut4ani @kamninaries @biggesthat3r @wearemadeofstardust0
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babybluebex · 2 years
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𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | your period cramps are especially bad one night, and, after letting him in on a secret, eddie offers himself up to help you feel better. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | eddie munson (stranger things, 2022) x fem!reader 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 | smut (minors dni, , period sex, oral and fingering f!receiving, p in v sex, unprotected sex) mentions of blood, praise kink, master kink, everyone in this is 18+ and if you aren't, you shouldn't be reading it! 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | i’m riding the crimson wave and need a sweet eddie to help get rid of my cramps so i wrote this and am living vicariously through it lol
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“What’s wrong, baby?” Eddie asked, smoothing his hand down your arm. “You seem really down today.” 
“Nothing’s wrong,” you assured him. “Just a little tired, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?” Eddie asked. “Because you’re not trying to sneak into my lap or anything.”
It was true. You had been sitting on Eddie’s bed with him for almost an hour now, absorbed in your book and almost fully ignoring Eddie. Your reason was simple, though; your curled-up position against his pillows eased the painful cramps in your middle. If you tried to move, the cramps and aches got worse, and curled up was the best position for you. 
Eddie had been sitting on the edge of his bed, trying to figure out a Metallica riff by ear. He had been making good progress, too, until he had stopped and turned to you. 
“I’m sure,” you told him. “I’m just reading, that’s all.” 
“Really?” Eddie asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Because you’ve been staring at me for the past five minutes. Doesn’t seem like reading to me, princess.” 
“Sorry,” you mumbled. “I’m just… Crampy, you know?” 
“Aw,” Eddie pouted, and he grabbed your hand and kissed your fingers. “Does your tummy hurt?” 
“Eddie,” you sighed. “I’m not a child, my tummy doesn’t hurt. I’ve just got period cramps, okay? And sitting like this makes them hurt less.” 
Eddie strung off his guitar and set it on its holder in the wall, and he moved carefully to you. He put his arm around you and tugged you close into his body, and you buried your face in his warm chest, breathing in his scent of stale cigarettes and cologne and his natural musk. Eddie was always a comfort to you, especially in moments like these, and you kissed his chest through his shirt. 
“I’m sorry,” Eddie uttered softly, and he smoothed his hand down your head. “What can I do for you, sweetheart?” 
“Nothing,” you said, then, a moment later, upon second thought, added, “Have you got any Tylenol?” 
“I think so,” Eddie said, and he started to get up, but you tugged him back, whining softly. “Baby, I can’t get it for you if you don’t let go.” 
“But I want you,” you mumbled, and Eddie pouted at you. 
“My sweet girl,” he whispered, and he kissed your forehead. “Fine. I’ll stay. But seriously, is there anything I can do to help you feel better?” 
You knew of one thing he could do, but you were unsure of if he would want to. You had heard that, apparently, having an orgasm would help ease period cramps and, while you didn’t feel apprehensive about asking, you figured Eddie would want nothing to do with that. Your anxiety spiked in your chest, and you swallowed thickly. “I-I heard this rumor,” you began softly. “That period sex… Y’know?” 
Eddie laughed lightly. “No, baby, I don’t know,” he said. “You want me to fuck you, sweetheart? All you’ve gotta do is ask.” 
“Are you sure?” you asked. “I mean… It’ll get messy.” 
“I’ve got towels,” Eddie said simply. 
“We’ll get messy.”
“I’ve got a shower too,” Eddie told you. “If it helps you feel better, I’m willing to try anything.”
“But the blood—”
Eddie surged forward, and he pressed his lips to yours. His kiss felt hot on your mouth, heavy and hot and arousing, and his hand touched your cheek lightly as his tongue pressed past your lips and into your mouth. Your body reacted to him before your mind could think of it, and your legs turned to nudge Eddie’s with your knee. 
“Fuck the blood,” Eddie whispered. “I’m not afraid to get a little bloody. Anyway… That’s pretty metal.” 
“You…” you began, and trailed off as Eddie kissed you again. His hands fell to your waist, and he tugged you fully underneath him as your hands tangled in his hair. You would always fall to Eddie’s charms. You moaned as his tongue dominated your mouth again, his hands flitting all around your body to touch every part of you. Finally, his hands found home on your hips again, and his fingers dug into the waistband of your shorts as he broke the kiss. 
“What d’ya say, baby?” Eddie asked. “Gonna let me fuck you right now?” 
“Please,” you whined, and Eddie’s skilled hands tugged down your shorts. He captured your panties at the same time, and you cringed as your pad crinkled with the movement. 
“Oh, baby, please don’t be embarrassed,” Eddie pleaded quickly, seeing your discomfort in your eyes. “Look, we don’t have to if you think you’re gonna be uncomfortable. I’d love to, but if you don’t want to—”
“No, no,” you said quickly. “I-I want to, it’s just… I don’t know why I’m embarrassed. Just keep going.” 
“Okay,” Eddie said gently, his eyes still wide and watching your every move. “Seriously. Tell me if you’re over this and we’ll stop.”
“Eddie, please,” you whined. Your pussy was throbbing just by being exposed to him, and you added, “I want it. I do. You should get a towel, though.” 
“Right,” Eddie nodded, then he seemed to snap out of whatever trance the sight of your pussy had him in. “Right! Towels…” He got up from the bed, tugging his jeans higher on his hips, and he mumbled to himself as he went to the bathroom and retrieved a few towels. You took the time to strip off your shirt and bra, and you rubbed your thighs together for any hint of friction as Eddie half-jogged back into the bedroom and shut the door with his foot. 
You could see his erection pressing against his zipper as he mumbled, “Lift up your hips, baby,”, and you grinned as he carefully spread out one of his towels on the bed below you, settling down a second one for good measure. His eyes were bright as he watched you squirm to get comfortable, and he smiled and leaned down to kiss you again. This one was quicker, just a hard peck, before he pulled back and tugged his shirt up and over his head, tossing it in the corner. 
He was back on you in a second, jerking his thigh between your legs, and his mouth met yours in a messy kiss, open mouths and wandering tongues. You loved making out with Eddie, especially the nights where no clothes would come off and you were left pathetically grinding against his thigh to cum. You did just that, rubbing your pussy on his leg as you moaned into his mouth, and your brain caught up with your body quickly. “Shit, Ed, I don’t wanna get blood on your jeans,” you started, but Eddie laughed. 
“I can wash them, baby,” he said. “Seriously, don’t worry about staining anything or getting anything dirty or whatever. I can wash everything. All I want you worrying about is when I’m gonna put my dick in that pretty pussy of yours. Alright?”
You nodded, and Eddie kissed you again. His kiss was heavy and demanding, and his fingers reached down and lightly touched your pussy lips, and you squealed as your hips jerked up to get more of his touch. 
“How rough do you want me to be, baby?” Eddie asked. “You want that sweet, mushy shit or you want me to be mean?” 
“I dunno…” you started. 
“What’ll help you get off harder?” Eddie added. 
Your tummy flipped at his words, spoken so casually but so beautifully, and you mumbled, “Not really rough, but, like… Enough.” 
“Enough,” Eddie repeated, and his hand snaked up to your throat, lightly pressing his fingers into your flesh. “Is this enough for you, pretty girl?” 
“Yeah,” you whispered, already feeling the effects of the limited blood supply. “S’perfect….”
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re already going brainless,” Eddie chuckled, and he pressed his thigh up into your cunt, letting the rough fabric of his jeans touch your clit. “You’re so cute. Rub down onto me, baby, let’s get you a little wet.” 
You nodded in obedience, something you knew Eddie liked, and you rolled your hips down onto his thigh as his leg came up to meet you. He leaned forward and started to kiss your neck, sucking your sensitive skin between his teeth and marking you to all hell, but it only made the throbbing between your legs grow more intense. Finally, a well-timed rock of your hips aligned with Eddie’s hard thigh, and you moaned as your clit rubbed against his jeans. 
“Good girl,” Eddie whispered, his breath hot against the wet patches on your neck that he had made. “You want my fingers? Or my mouth?” 
“Whatever you want,” you told him, and he kissed your neck once more, just above where his fingers sat. “However you want me…” 
“No,” Eddie said firmly, and he removed his hand and titled your head to look at him, his fingers capturing your chin. “Tell me what you want, baby. Tell your master exactly how I can please you.”
Eddie knew what he was doing. He knew that you loved when he called himself that. He knew you loved to call him that. He knew that, the moment you called him Master, it was all over for you, and keeping any semblance of a cool head would be impossible. 
“M-Mouth,” you stammered breathlessly, and your heart thumped when you remembered exactly what that meant for him. “Oh, but you don’t have to—”
“Hush, baby,” Eddie told you, and he sweetly kissed your cheek. “I wouldn’t have offered it if I didn’t want to.” 
With that, he slunk down your body, taking care to kiss over your hips and belly, and Eddie was quick to part your thighs and coo softly at the sight of you. “Already shaking,” he said softly, and he kissed your thighs, easing slowly closer and closer to your pussy. “God, I know you’re gonna taste so good.” 
“Like blood, maybe,” you stuttered out, forcing a half-laugh, and Eddie cast his eyes up to you. 
“But that’s you,” he insisted. “No matter what part of you it is, it’s you, and I’m gonna love it. You hear me?” 
You nodded, your brain a little fuzzy with the praise, and Eddie pushed his hair behind his shoulder before he dived in. His tongue made a long, heavy lick up your pussy, tasting you from bottom to top, and you groaned at the softness of his movements. He was so kind and gentle with it, and he hooked his lips around your throbbing clit and gave it a firm suck as his big brown eyes locked on yours. 
You couldn’t help the high-pitched moan that left your throat, and your head fell back on Eddie’s pillows as he fell off of your clit. You could feel your heartbeat in the walls of your cunt as Eddie started a rhythm, licking and kissing and sucking at you. His eyes closed, his eyelashes pressing nicely against his upper cheeks, and he moaned into your cunt. “I was right, baby,” he whispered and, when he came up for air, your own breath caught in your throat at the glossy red-brown hue on his lips. “You taste so good.”
“Jesus,” you panted, and you pressed your hand to your chest as your head tipped back with a laugh.”I can’t believe I’m letting you do this.” 
“But it feels good, doesn’t it?” Eddie asked. “And those cramps aren’t as bad, huh?” 
“I guess you’re right,” you mumbled, and you worried your bottom lip between your teeth. “Can you add your fingers?” 
“Sure,” Eddie said, and he put his lips back on your clit as one of his fingers prodded at your hole. His finger added to the experience, giving your cunt something to clench down on instead of uselessly throbbing, and your moan caught in your throat as Eddie fucked his finger into you and sucked hard at you at the same time. His tongue danced around your clit as he fucked you hard on his finger, and every inch of him inside you wasn’t enough. 
“More,” you mewled, writhing under his grip, and Eddie’s free hand rubbed soothing circles on your hip as his second finger joined his first without hesitation. His rings were cool against your warm skin, and your legs opened wider for him. “Fuck, Eddie, more.” 
“No, no, baby,” Eddie said, stilling his fingers inside you. “What do you call me?” 
Your heart skipped a beat. “M-Master,” you managed to stutter out, and Eddie’s eyebrows raised. “Please, I want your cock.” 
“Good girl,” Eddie said gently, landing a sloppy kiss on your clit. “You’re so good for me, saying please and everything.” 
He withdrew his fingers, stained the same color as his lips from your blood, your slick collecting wetly on his fingertips, and Eddie wiped his hand on the towel below him before he went to his belt. “You’re a little sweetheart, you know that?” Eddie asked, and you covered your face with your hands as you squealed. 
“Eddie!” you whined. “Stop!” 
“No, no, listen to me,” Eddie told you. “You’re so cute, and you’re funny, and you’re kind, you’re the whole package, baby. And I get you all to myself. I’m a lucky motherfucker.” 
“Whatever you say,” you mumbled, your cheeks growing warm. “Can you just fuck me already?” 
“No problem, babe,” Eddie said easily. He leaned forward, and his warm hands grabbed at your body as he kissed you. You almost didn’t mind the tang of your own blood on his tongue as he kissed you, mouths open and panting and spit gathering on your lips. His kiss was heavy and needy, almost as needy as you were, and you moaned gently into his waiting mouth. 
Eddie was quick to push down his pants and boxers, and you gasped at the dark stain on his already-dark jeans, seeping through thinly onto the fabric of his blue boxers. Although, unlike before, where you were worried about making a mess, the mess only made your belly flip and your cunt throb. 
He was hard already as he undressed, not having taken too long to become aroused, and your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock as it slapped up against his belly. Once he was fully naked, he slotted himself between your legs again, and he slid his cock up your wet pussy, groaning softly at the feeling. “So wet,” Eddie mumbled. “You ready, sweetheart?” 
“Yes, Master,” you replied, and Eddie grinned like the devil as he carefully pushed his cock into you. Even just the head of him was enough to make your head tip back and a moan to leave your mouth, and Eddie leaned forward and kissed your open mouth as he pushed in deeper. 
“I love to hear that,” Eddie mumbled, and he hissed as he sank fully into you, his balls hitting your ass as he buried himself up to the hilt in you. “Tight pussy, fuck… You’re so good for me.” 
His hands anchored themselves on your hips, and he drew himself out of you almost fully, letting his cock drag against your wet walls, and you whimpered when just the leaking head of his cock remained inside you. Quickly, he snapped his hips forward, and the sound of his flesh hitting yours drove you wild. Eddie picked up a quick pace, fucking you just how you asked, rough but not too rough. The bed creaked with every fuck into you he gave, and he huffed through gritted teeth. “This wet cunt,” he mumbled. “All soaking wet, just for me, yeah? Soaked little pussy…” 
“Yes!” you cried, and you grabbed at his hard shoulders to anchor yourself to him. If you weren’t touching him, you were afraid that you might have floated away. Whoever had said that sex helped period cramps was right; you couldn’t even feel them anymore. All you could feel was Eddie, the hot drag of his cock inside you, the throbbing of his cock in time with your cunt. “Eddie! Eddie, fuck!” 
“Feel that good?” Eddie laughed with another huff. “Yes, baby, scream my name.”
“Eddie!” you whined, digging your fingernails into his shoulders. You were so sensitive, more so than usual, and Eddie seemed to revel in that fact. He fucked you hard, the wet sounds of your skin hitting making your brain turn to mush, and one of Eddie’s hands fell off of your waist and came up to lightly touch your clit. 
The slight brush of his finger made your hips jerk, and you mumbled out, “Eddie, fuck… Feels so good…”
“God, you’re so good,” Eddie told you as his thumb played lightly with your throbbing clit. You could feel your heartbeat in every inch of your body, and you squirmed as your body struggled to take everything Eddie was giving you. “Your fuckin’ pussy is good, and you’re so good, my sweet little thing, my girl… Fuck, what is going on?” 
“What?” you asked. 
“I’m about to cum already,” Eddie laughed breathlessly. His neck and chest were red with the exertion, and you smiled at his confession. “You make me cum so quick, fuck.” 
“Please, Eddie,” you pleaded, your hips bucking in time with his, and you groaned as he speared you deep, deep enough to feel in your chest. “Please cum, Eddie, please, I wanna feel you when you cum…” 
“God!” Eddie moaned, his lip tugging tight between his teeth. His moan was deep in his chest, drawn out and beautifully raspy, and, when he opened his eyes, the chocolate brown ol his eyes was gorgeous and blown-out, all fucked out. “You’re so fuckin’... Hot, Jesus. I’m gonna cum.”
“Do it, Master,” you told him, and he groaned again before he buried his face in your neck. “Oh, my Master, are you gonna give me your cum?” 
“Fuck, yes,” Eddie whispered into your neck, and his scratchy voice made your cunt throb around him, and he groaned again as your cunt squeezed his dick tight. “Yeah, I’ll give it to you, baby. Fuck…” One more fuck into you, and you felt a shudder pass through Eddie’s body as he came hard, pushing himself fully into you and pumping you full of it. 
His thumb remained in your clit as he came, urging you to your finish with him, and your breath caught in your throat as you felt the hot coil in your stomach release. “Eddie!” you managed to cry, and you gripped him by the back of his neck as you came. Your head felt fuzzy as you gushed around Eddie’s cock, throbbing and milking him for every bit of his cum, and you groaned softly when he slowly began to fuck in and out of you, riding you through your orgasm. 
Your ears still felt full of cotton as Eddie spoke to you, and you listened through the fluff as he kissed your neck and praised you. “My good girl,” he whispered, remarking you in the places he had made them before. “My perfect girl… And look, baby. Towel did its job. How do you feel?” 
You swallowed thickly, and you pulled Eddie, his warm, sticky-sweaty skin molding to yours. Your lips found his, and you moaned softly as his gentleness. He always knew how to make you feel good. “Better,” you told him. “They were right; sex makes cramps go away.” 
“Who told you that, anyway?” Eddie laughed, still kissing your neck. 
A warm flush overtook your face as you thought about the admission you were about to give, and you giggled and covered your face. 
“Oh, now I have to know,” Eddie laughed, and his hands went to your wrists, tugging your hands away from your face. When you looked back at him, you couldn’t help but smile at the sweat that had collected on his upper lip and dripped off of his bangs. “C’mon, baby, who told you this wonderful bit of news?”
“I-I read it,” you told him finally. “In Cosmo.” 
“Really?” Eddie laughed. “You read Cosmo?” 
“It’s not a habit!” you exclaimed, and Eddie kissed your cheek. “I-I was at the library and I was bored and picked it up!”
“Maybe you oughta pick up Cosmo more often,” Eddie said. “If it gives you tips like this.” 
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angelltheninth · 1 year
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Hi hi again~ I was wondering what your take on genshin men and period sex? Been thinking about this for a little bit now, curious to see what you think.
I'm on my period rn, I feel horrible, its very torturous, but if it gets real bad I can take a day off work on Monday so... silver lining I guess?
Pairing: Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Xiao, Gorou, Thoma, Childe, Pantalone, Dottore, Capitano, Kaveh, Al-Haitham, Zhongli x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, period sex, blood, fingering, breeding kink, soft sex, gentle sex, affection
A/N: Sex on your period is a good thing actually but obviously not for every one.
HE FINGERS YOU - Diluc, Childe, Capitano, Al-Haitham
Just a tiny bit squeamish about eating you out but he will gladly finger you quickly. You're warm and its all wet already, he just needs to go slower because he doesn't know how much will hurt you. This needs to be a pleasant experience so he focuses on the spots he knows make you come fast and hard. He's careful not to get things too messy, other then his fingers of course but he can easily wash them later so don't worry about it, just lay back, try to relax and let him take care of you, let him tell you how much he loves you.
MAKES YOU COME ALL OVER HIS COCK - Kaeya, Itto, Thoma, Pantalone, Kaveh
The blood doesn't bother him when the prize is seeing your eyes roll back and your pussy come all over his cock. Its a lot messier then usual and he needs to do it a little faster because if the blood starts to dry out it will hurt you when he goes back in. Because of that he lets you control the pace this time, lets you pull on his hips while he focuses his hands and mouth to your nipples, which are even more sensitive then usual and keeps sucking and licking until he feels your pussy squeezing around his length.
ACTIVATES HIS BREEDING KINK - Gorou, Dottore, Zhongli
A few days before you go on your period he notices you're getting more sensitive, more responsive. When he sees you bleeding he's not freaked out by it and before you can even think that he doesn't want you now he's all over you, kissing you and making you sigh and moan into his mouth. Never think he doesn't want you. He will always want you, in fact right now all he wants to do is push his cock inside you and fill your pussy up with a fuck ton of cum.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 3 months
Text
Not A Verstappen: Lights Out {6}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: The aftermath of Lando's outburst is a messy one with more consequences than they thought there would be. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, fluff, angst, vomit WC: 2.1k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten NAV: Lights Out One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || 6.5
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Charles’ cheeks hurt from the smile that split his face and his chest heaved with elation as he screamed into his helmet. He had risked everything to overtake Checo in the last corner of the last lap and his team had been against the move, but he showed them why he was Ferrari’s golden boy. 
Pulling up into the space beside Max’s car, Charles leapt out of the cockpit and rushed over to his team searching for you and Lando. He had been told you were both back from the hospital but he couldn’t find you as he scanned the area. “Xavi! Where are they?” Charles asked over the noise. It was almost deafening how loud the cries of congratulations were.
“They’re fine, just go get weighed - the car is waiting,” he said with a nod to the Rolls-Royce that would take him, Max and Checo to the post-race interviews at the Bellagio. 
Max had already been weighed and dumped his helmet on his stand, replacing it for his water bottle. His face was redder than usual and he squeezed the bottle, gulping down the heavy electrolytes with a look that set Charles on edge. 
“Go,” Xavi urged when Charles failed to move. 
His excitement and happiness was still at the forefront of his mind but in the back of it he wondered what had happened. He assumed it was regarding Lando’s injuries, that seemed the most obvious thing, but since he had been released from the hospital it can’t have been too bad. 
“Stay calm,” Max said as they saddled up beside each other in the back of the car. 
That was not what Charles wanted to hear. “What the fuck is going on?” 
Checo looked out of the window and kept to himself as he waved to the crowd. 
Max was never one to cower from pressure and he held Charles' eyes as he broke the news GP had given him a few laps before the race ended. “Everyone knows that Y/N is pregnant, and that’s why she lost her seat.”
Shock, fear, anger. All of those passed across Charles' face before he looked away and swallowed. “Is she safe?”
“She’s in the McLaren garage, she’s safe.”
Charles’ heart slowly began to recover but the pulsing of its beat in his head still thumped. “How?” he choked, as he broke away from the bright lights of the city and faced the man he considered his brother-in-law. “How did they find out?”
Max winced, though he knew this was where the conversation would head before it even started. The car was pulling into the front of the hotel and he knew that he was running out of time. There was no way that any interviewer would be able to resist asking Charles about the news, despite his titillating overtake on the last turn. 
“It wasn’t his fault,” Max started and immediately Charles' stomach dropped. “Lando was on strong painkillers and didn’t know what he was doing.”
Charles was glad the car came to a stop and he didn’t wait for the valet to open the door before he was out. The air seemed too thin to fill his lungs as he worried about your safety, it was always his biggest concern. 
A hand grabbed his shoulder, snapping him back to the present and Max gave it a squeeze. “Come on, mate. It was an accident. Pull yourself together and let’s get back to them, okay?”
He nodded numbly, pushing back his emotions because like on the track they would do no good going to the interviews. He had been trained for this, for the press, and he would try his best to stay calm. Max could see Charles struggle, his knuckles turning white around the microphone that he clenched from the moment he was offered congratulations. Though he wasn’t comfortable, Charles’ smile was genuine when he said how excited he was to be a father and start a family. 
“Please respect our wishes for privacy over the winter break,” he handed the microphone back, ending the line of questioning for him and Checo graciously stepped in to take the attention. Charles felt like a caged animal as he stalked off from the balcony and found an assistant with an iPad. “Do you have the video?”
She didn’t need to ask what video he meant as she found the clip on every news agency’s website. Charles felt sick seeing Lando on the gurney, an IV in his hand and his eyes vacant. Pain pinched Lando’s forehead and his head lolled to the side drunkenly as he spoke to you, the words imperceptible before he spotted the camera. 
“I’m going to be a father!” Lando screamed joyfully before sinking back into the pillow. Your shock was clear and he didn’t need to hear your voice to know what you were saying when you shook your head. 
Charles sighed and handed the iPad back, raking a hand down his face. He was angry but it didn’t feel fair to be angry at Lando. Charles had crashed enough times to know how strong the painkillers were. Now more than ever he was happy there was only one race left, one more public outing before he could sequester you away for the winter. He needed this winter to hurry up so he could breathe easier in the remote regions of northern France. 
“You good?” Max asked as he clapped him on the shoulder after the water fountain finished its special something or rather. He couldn’t say he paid any attention to it, it was far from his mind when he stood before it.
“Fine,” Charles muttered quietly. “Can we go now?”
Back in the garage you watched the post race interviews and rubbed Lando’s shoulders. Jon had almost called for an ambulance when clarity returned to your boyfriend and he realised what he had done. Thankfully someone from the team had cleaned up the mess he made when he vomited from all the worry. Jon thought he had a concussion, but it was just guilt. 
“You’re going to make yourself sick again, babe. He’s not going to kill you.”
Lando looked up from the seat he slouched in, his bottom lip pressed out with the occasional quiver. “What if he hates me? Oh fuck, he’s going to break up with me, I know it.”
“No one is breaking up, ever,” you growled as you cradled his face and forced him to look at you. “I’m not letting this little one grow up without her fathers.”
“You’re angry too.”
“Yes, I’m angry, Lando, but I’m not going to break up with you because of it, neither will Charles. You were as high as a kite and the cameras shouldn’t have been anywhere near the medical centre.” 
A commotion in the crowds drew your attention away and you nodded your head to the stage that had been erected on the grid while the post race interviews took place. “They’re back,” you said as you stood up. “Come on.”
“My ribs hurt,” Lando complained as he refused to move from his seat, holding his hand up to show his hospital wristbands as proof. 
“Lando…” you could see he was being stubborn so you huffed and went with guilt tripping him instead. “Well I’m going to watch the podium…in that big crowd…where everyone is pushing and elbowing…while I’m carrying your child…”
“Fuck, fine,” he growled as he stood up, curling an arm around you protectively like you knew he would. “But we are staying with the mechanics.”
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“This seems like overkill,” you muttered as extra security guards arrived to walk you and Lando four garages down to Ferrari. 
“I’m not taking any chances,” Lando said with another guilt ridden glance. “It’s my fault anyway.”
You took his hand and stepped into the protective forcefield that was over half a dozen black-suited guards. It wasn’t the first time having a security team, it was quite common with Red Bull and the hate they received, but it was different this time. The protection wasn’t for you and from the amount of people waiting outside the McLaren garage you were grateful for the extra arms. Like a well oiled machine the men fell into formation, creating an arrowhead that speared through the crowd, carving a path for you and Lando to follow. 
“Breathe before you pass out,” you warned Lando when you reached the archway that opened into Charles’ garage. He started to freeze but you tugged his hand and pulled him inside.
“I’m trying, but I think I’m going to be sick again.”
He did look a little pale as you spotted Xavi, who tapped Charles’ shoulder. Charles turned and you watched as the worry and fear faded from his green eyes, before worry returned. 
“Mon cher,” he murmured as he stepped closer. Lando clutched his stomach at the sound and folded in half, hurling the blueberry pancakes he had nibbled on all over the floor and Charles’ shoes. “Mon Dieu!”
The acrid smell of bile made your stomach turn but you were grateful you never had the morning sickness most women complained about. Still looking pale, Charles caught Lando as he swayed and you grabbed the closest chair to put him in. 
“He’s been making himself sick with worry,” you explained in a rush. “Just tell him you’re not going to dump him so he can stop imagining it.”
“What?” Charles’ eyes widened as he looked at Lando, his blue eyes watery and downcast at the mess he had made, again. “I’m not going to dump you, mon cher. How could you ever think that?”
“Because he is more dramatic than the two of us combined,” you offered with a smile that softened the words. “But we love him for it.”
Charles brushed away the tears on Lando’s cheeks and went to kiss him before thinking better of it. “We are a family, we will adapt - you already got more security I see.”
“You’re not angry?”
“Oh I am,” he admitted, Lando’s eyes snapping up at the lilt in his tone. Dipping his head to Lando’s ear, you chuckled as you saw a smirk grow as they whispered a promise. “And your ass is going to feel it for days.”
Round Twenty Three - Abu Dhabi 
The apartment in Monaco was quiet without Lando and Charles. From the penthouse the noise of the street barely carried to its height and the only sound came from the TV. Martin Brundle was making his way down the grid, trying to interview any personality he could name over the raucousness of the crowds and engines.
You longed to be with them, standing above the pitlane watching the chaos unfold. Unfortunately, because of Lando’s untimely announcement, the UAE had cancelled your visa. They could turn a blind eye to your unconventional relationship when it was behind closed doors but with the public knowledge of a baby, and both men taking fathership status, they could no longer accept it. The options were to stay at home or go and risk deportation, or even being arrested for adultery. 
Neither seemed like fun. 
You placed a hand on the small bump that continued to swell more each night. Lando said she was the size of a bell pepper this week. That seemed to create more questions for you than a fruit should, especially since the bell peppers you had seen were the same size as an avocado but the bump was certainly bigger. 
“Just you and me, jellybean,” you murmured as the grid began to empty so the formation lap could begin. “Guess I should get used to this.”
Doctor Turner had advised against flying anywhere once you reached 8 months, but that would be right after Australia. You would definitely miss the Grand Prixs in Japan and China before she was born and then Miami and Imola after. All going to plan, your jellybean would make her first public appearance at Charles homerace. 
As you had found out in Vegas, the best laid plans meant nothing in reality and only time would reveal what would eventuate. For now, you were going to focus on watching the last race of the season and get ready to enjoy a peaceful winter with your family.
You cosied into the couch, bundled in the pillows as if they were the two bodies you had missed for days, and turned the volume up as the formation lap ended.
Lights out and away we go.
Click here for the next chapter.
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mandowifey · 11 months
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What kind of father figure behaviours would Miguel have?? I’m thinking protective af
Oh boy oh boy oh boy BUCKLE UP.
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Father!Miguel O'Hara Headcannons
Warnings: ANGST, SO MUCH ANGST, Mentions of child loss, death, violence, this is canon Miguel, reader can give birth but is not gendered. Mentions of trauma, depression, bad brain times. He's a broken man, yknow?
× × ×
First and foremost, Miguel is scared.
This is a man who had lost it all twice. He had watched his child die. He had lapsed so terribly into himself that he was able to rationalize stepping into another man's life and pretending to be him. He isn't right minded, he's broken and hurting.
All that self blame and doubt chokes him sometimes.
He hurts, constantly.
When you tell him you're pregnant, everything goes still. Fatherhood is something that had always been just outside of his grasp, and now it was here right in front of him. He doesn't fill with light, or smile and laugh, but he does look at you like he's seeing a ghost. There is fear in his eyes, not of you or the baby, but himself.
Because what if he fucks this up again?
Miguel can not stand the idea of opening himself to that pain. He already shoulders that guilt every day, rewatching videos of himself with his daughter. Can he even find room in his heart for another child? He almost feels like it is a betrayal, that he was never a good man to begin with if he were so willing to move on.
When your face drops and your eyes brim with tears, he pulls out of it.
One of Miguel's best abilities is being strong for others. He can be what you need right now, and he will.
Cue the absolute nightmare of expecting his child.
Aside from you being sick, Miguel worries, constantly.
The man can hardly focus on his work. He always asks one of the doctors to go check on you or have you in contact with him. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean the multiverse loses its importance. But god is he distracted.
"Have you been eating enough?"
"Taking your vitamins?"
"How much water have you had?"
It'd be cute if you didn't know better.
You know how much he has lost and you know that he is petrified of losing you both too. Not to mention you are certain he feels undeserving of another chance, especially after destroying an innocent alternate universe.
The way he looks at you tells you everything; he thinks you are made of glass. Something fragile that could break any moment. While you try to assure him that isn't the case, he still worries.
Once you start showing, it's over.
He is constantly caressing your stomach, holding you close, breathing you in. He thinks you smell so good pregnant. Miguel loves to feel your belly, cooing to you about how good you look carrying his child. You don't doubt for a second he loves you.
Miguel is protective, most assuredly. When you want to go walking around the base or go grab snacks he is on you like a shadow. Always watching, always protecting. He makes sure the other spider folk don't bump you, and offers to carry you when you mention your feet swelling.
God, he'd love to feed you. Checking on you constantly if you're hungry, offering to run and grab any cravings you ask for.
When you get further along, he likes to talk to the baby. Speaking in Spanish occasionally but mostly asking if they are giving you trouble.
"They are gonna have my attitude, I know it."
Oh boy, when the baby comes?
Ohhhh boy.
First off it is a way bigger deal than it has to be.
That man would be in the middle of a job and get a ring on his watch.
"JESS, I GOTTA GO."
And she looks at him in time to watch him clawing back into a portal.
Him running full speed, throwing himself against walls and scratching down them to get to your room faster.
His mask withdrawing to show messy hair and wide brown eyes, coming to your side and taking your hand.
"I'm here, Im here." As he kisses into your damp hair.
You get to surprise him, twice.
He didn't know the sex, and didn't know you were having two.
When he see's his daughters for the first time, his eyes leak. The smile on his face stretches miles, his arms open as he cradles them into him. Oh he'd be melting.
You'd never seen him cry, but that day he does.
He's so proud of you, telling you how well you did and how much he loves you.
"Okay Miguel, gotta let me hold one." You laugh.
He's inseparable from you. Looking at those babies with such love and surprise, unable to believe that he was a father, again.
When you fall asleep with the girls tucked in your arms, he stays up and pets your hair.
And he promises himself that this time it will be different.
Your babies would be HELLA protected.
Good god, he is like a hawk with those girls.
Always watching, always making sure they were safe. He'd have eyes on them constantly.
Miguel is a good man at heart, and now he wants to make things right. He'd dedicate as much time to your family as possible, asking Jessica to stand in for him as often as possible (until she herself has her child).
He'd want to teach them to be like him. One of your daughters can stick to walls, and the other has tiny claws like he does. You enjoy lounging on the couch while he climbs the walls with the girls giggling after him.
Your family is beautiful, blissful. He protects all three of you.
And while sometimes you have to hold him at night and assure him that its okay to move on, he knows he's doing his best. He wraps you in his arms and looks at the baby monitor screen, watching the girls sleep. He begins to doze as you pet his hair, assuring him they were just fine.
Miguel would fall asleep against you, head tucked in your neck and strong arms locked around you.
And he would believe it was okay to forgive himself.
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