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strawburry01 · 6 days

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Enjoy the Silence

Summary: (college) Aaron and Y/N at a halloween party where someone gets a little drunk. Still a little conflicted angsty. Don't need to have read the other stuff leading up to this but it helps!

Word Count: 3k

AN: Guys, why do things keep happening to me? I sprained my ankle so bad running after this exchange student I met like, two nights ago, and he just laughed! SMH. Forgive me for how terribly this may read near the end- I'm just trying to get something out. I'll edit it later (maybe) (probably not) (oopsies!)

It had been about half a year of you and Aaron studying tirelessly in the library, but it wasn’t for nothing. Both of you were getting the highest scores on the exams in class and had, by the grace of god, made it onto the Dean’s list last year. It left both of you more determined than ever, but also more inseparable than ever. At this point you were both either at the library, class, or at each other’s place, much to the dismay of your roommates who would like some peace and quiet some nights. Luckily for them, this was one of the nights you were both out of the house, as it was Halloween. Well, the Friday before Halloween. Nobody really wanted to party on a Monday night.

Aaron and you had fought about matching costumes for a while because you refused to dress as Sandra from Grease because you thought she was such a pushover and gave up all her morals for Danny, even thought it would’ve made for a really good costume. He eventually gave up and just admitted he wanted to wear his leather jacket and didn’t care what you dressed as.

Well that is until you met him at his house in a matching leather jacket. He shut the door on your face before you could open your mouth.

“We are NOT showing up to a costume party MATCHING,” he shouted from the other side of the door.

“Aaron you said you wanted to match though!” you shouted back, trying to hide back your laughs.

“You know what I meant Y/N and it wasn’t this!”.

“Oh come on you kill joy everyone is going to be so jealous of how cute we look!” you laughed as you shoved your fists in your pockets, thinking you looked damn good. You heard him shuffle around on the other side of the door before finally opening it with a dramatic sigh and eye roll.

“You kill me,” he sighed as he started down the porch, letting you catch up to him. You smiled as you stepped into pace besides him. You were heading to one of his friend’s party’s for the night. Aaron insisted it would be fun, but he’d brought it up enough you were getting a little suspicious. Aaron started talking about his roommates' failed cooking attempts as you lit a cigarette between your lips.

“You’re smoking?” he asked, stopping his story and turning to you as you puffed out a cloud of smoke. You turned away trying to hide it from him.

“So what? You worried about me?” you hummed, trying to diffuse his anger as you ashed the cigarette end. He rolled his eyes and focused back onto the sidewalk.

“That’s bad for you y’know?” he stated matter-of-factly.

“I do know Aaron,” you responded in the same tone as you tapped his shoulder with your free hand. He always hated when you started smoking. It was a cycle you’d gotten yourself into at the beginning of this year starting every few weeks and then quitting whenever Aaron would start stealing and hiding your packs. You smushed your cigarette into the ground once you were finished right outside the house. Aaron had put on some sunglasses to add to his costume which you giggled at.

“Stop it, you know I look good,” he said as he threw his arm around your shoulders lazily leaning onto you as you both stood in front of the door. You laughed more and patted his chest as you snaked an arm behind his waist to steady him. His friend whips open the door and the noise of the party booms onto the porch.

“Aaron! Y/N!” he shouted, the scent of alcohol already emanating off of him, “you made it!”. Aaron hugged his friend and started talking as you nodded your hello and slipped into the thumping house, letting the two catch up. It was already packed somehow even though it had just begun, that’s what they’d get for inviting a bunch of nerds. There were several black cats of varying authenticity, a few Gene Simmon’s look-alikes, a smattering of half-assed Jedi, and a fair amount of suspect Spidermen and other superheros. You smiled peacefully to yourself, despite the chaos around you, taking in the moment and what all led to you even getting invited to such an event. You slipped a hand into the cooler to grab a beer and cracked it open to start sipping on it as you watched the crowd. You’d always been a bit of a wallflower, while Aaron was the chatty one. Sure enough, he was still chatting with his friend, just as energetic as he was before. Your old lab partner Jen spotted you at the party and danced her way through the crowed until she was by you.

“Ohmygod Y/N, so great to see you!” she shouted over the speaker. You stifle a smile seeing how out of it she was.

“Jen, how are you?” you asked, trying to be sincere, swishing your drink. She nodded enthusiastically.

“I’m so great Y/N. Who do you know here?!” she said back.

“Uhm, I’m here with Aaron,” you admitted bashfully. Sure enough Jen responded with raised eyebrows and a shoulder nudge.

“You guys are still talking? That’s going gooood?” she said, leaning closer and waggling her eyebrows. You playfully scoffed and pushed her away.

“You know it’s not like that Jen, we’re just…friends,” you said, glancing behind her at Aaron still gesticulating a story to his friend. She moved her head to block your view.

“Sure and is that why you guys are wearing matching costumes?” she accused. You rolled your eyes and sipped the beer.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” you said under your breath.

“You’re blushing!” Jen giggled obnoxiously as she shook you by the shoulders, to which you swatted her away and tried to shush her even though he was across the room. She aww-ed at your shyness and eventually calmed down. “Okay okay, but still-” she said, “you two are cute together,”.

“Thanks,” you mutter under your breath, looking around the room for Aaron again only to see he had finally moved away from his friend. Where did he go?

“Hello Jen,” he suddenly chirped, appearing besides you, double fisting two red Solo cups. “Ah cheers,” he said quickly clinking his cups to your beer.

“Hello Aaron!” she smiles back with a toothy grin, “Ugh you two look so good,” she said looking at both of you. Aaron smiled and looked down at his own outfit before looking at you and nodding, confirming her compliment.

“Thank you Jen, you look good too,” he said back, eyes glancing over her and her fairy costume.

“You’re too sweet Aaron,” she said, “Okay okay okay I’ll leave you two alone, say bye before you leave!!!” she said in an airy tone grabbing both of your forearms before wandering back into the crowd. Aaron silently took a sip of one of his drinks and smacked his lips before looking back down at you.

“She’s- something!” he remarked. You nodded and matched him with your own sip.

“She’s nice, just a bit of a party animal,” you agreed, “like someone else I know” you chuckled, elbowing Aaron.

“Pfft as if, I just like talking to people. Unlike soooome,” he retorted, elbowing you back.

“Let me catch up to you then I’ll get social” you jokingly grumbled, taking another sip. He snorted.

The party continued and Aaron and you split again. Sure enough, you do warm up to chat with your classmates and friends as you keep another beer in hand. You feel a buzz starting as you laugh loudly at someone’s joke as you attempt to land a ping pong ball into a solo cup across the table. You miss and loudly shout ‘SHIT!’, only to quickly feel a body pressed against your back, a hand holding onto your hip.

“Let me try for a redemption shot,” Aaron laughed, reverberating in your ear as someone hands him a ping pong ball. He completely misses and you both burst out laughing, and you take the opportunity to lean back on his chest, only to have his grip tighten on your hip. “I didn’t say I was going to be good,” he defended himself as you watched the opposing team try to make their shots. You reach behind yourself and pat his cheek.

“Sure you are,” you tease back, feeling his warm cheek under your hand before you go to grab another fumbled ball. It’s crazy how bad hand eye coordination gets when you’re drunk. You weren’t complaining though. Having Aaron this close was…nice, but you would never really admit it. The game continues and you two end up losing, but just barely. Aaron happily finishes the drinks as you insist you can’t handle any more, mostly because you’ve seen how long it’d been sitting out. Aaron’s fraternity brother tendencies came out whenever he was trying to impress people with these games.

You expect him to step away once the game is done, but instead he stays right where he is, moving his arms up they’re wrapped around your shoulders, keeping you close. He sets his head on your shoulder blade and sighs.

“You alright?” you ask, tilting your head to look at him. You felt him nod onto your shoulder.

“I’m doing just swell Y/N,” he says, knowing he doesn’t need to shout, which makes a chill run up your spine. He tightens his grip for a second before changing his mind, “can we go to the couch actually,” he mumbles to you. You obliged and started to weave your way through the partygoers back to the living room where you know there’s a few couches. Aaron doesn’t let go, despite stumbling a few times into your back. You throw some coats left on a couch onto the arms of it and sit down, Aaron finally releasing his hold. He flops down, laying his head on your lap, leaving his legs dangling off the end of the couch. He grumbles and groans as he throws his sunglasses off into the void of people dancing. “Y/N…I’m getting the spins,” he groans as he rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes. Oh shit, Aaron’s actually drunk.

You can’t help but gently place a hand on his hair and run your fingers through it.

“Poor Aaron drank too much?” you asked in a sing songy voice.

“Don’t baby talk me,” he whined as he lowered his hands and kept his eyes firmly shut, “can’t you just make me feel better,”.

“What would make you feel better?” you ask, raising your eyebrows to yourself. His eyes flashed open and he opened his mouth to say something, but instead of words he shoots up and promptly throws up over the side of the couch onto the ground. Yeah, good thing you didn’t drink that shit.

You make him lay down on the couch as you tie up your hair and start trying to clean up the mess. Aaron’s friend finds you trying and grabs your attention.

“Y/N, yeah? Don’t worry about it-” he said, not seeming stressed, “I got this if you just uh, promise to get him home,” he said, tilting his chin in the direction of the still groaning Aaron. You nodded dutifully, you would much rather take this deal. After a few minutes of convincing you’re able to coax Aaron to his feet, leading him out before he can throw up on the floor again.

He does throw up again in the lawn and you try to pat his back to make him feel better, although you’ve never really seen him get sick from drinking so you’re not sure if you’re helping or harming. The two of you are able to make it back to his house, in only twice the normal time due to his drunken ramblings requiring perfect stillness in the middle of the street.

“Y/N, you know I love you right?” he says bluntly the moment you pull the key to his house out of his jacket pocket. You froze. You know he doesn’t mean it like that, unless he does. You can’t really trust him with how half-shut his eyes are right now.

“I uh, love you too Aaron,” you say, forcing a bit of a smile into the corner of your mouth as you open the door to the dark house. Dammit, he’s not shuffling back into his room without a tumble or waking up the whole house. “We’re getting you to bed okay?” you say to him, as you hold an arm around his waist to steady him.

“Can you spend the night? I love you,” he said through his mumbles as the two of you stepped into the house. He leans his head down so he’s just speaking into your hair.

“Aaron I don’t know I-” you try to interject.

“But I love youuuu and you never spend the night,” he whines like a teenager as you kicked open the bottom of his door to try and avoid a clatter. You sigh as you navigate him to his bed and let him fall onto it.

“Take off your shoes ya drunk,” you say as you cross your arms and flick on the lights. He hisses at the bright lights, but does kick off his boots before trying to get under the blankets. He eventually opens his eyes again and looks at you.

“Please spend the night Y/N,” he says softly, opening the blankets, “I just want you here,”. You’d spent the night before with him, but usually just on the couch after falling asleep on his shoulder during a movie. Did he actually mean this? Or was he just that drunk? “Please?”.

You can’t say no to this guy’s face. You sighed and kicked off your own shoes and hit the lights before crawling into the area under the blanket. You can hear Aaron trying to form a sentence but he just mumbles words as he pulls you closer by the small of your back. You give in and rest your head on his chest, hearing just how fast his heart is beating, glad it isn’t just your own.

“Y/N?” he finally gets out, breaking the silence of just the two of your breaths.

“Yes Aaron?”

“Don’t leave me,”.

“I won’t,”.

You feel him slowly rubbing your back before eventually falling into a loud snore. He’s lucky he was handsome, otherwise you’d be smothering him with a pillow. Eventually you’re able to fall asleep into the darkness, trying to not overthink things.

You wake up to sunlight hitting you directly in the eyes through the window across the room. You groaned and turned to try and hide your face, remembering at the same time you were in a bed that was not your own. You groaned as you realize Aaron isn’t in bed anymore with you. Shit. You sit up in the bed, rubbing your head groggily. As if on command, Aaron swings the door open with two cups of coffee. His face brightens as he sees you’re awake.

“Good morning Y/N,” he says, his morning voice making your stomach do a flip. Well, either that or the residual alcohol.

“How are you feeling?” you ask him, as you gratefully take the cup.

“Not the best, I can’t lie,” he admits as he sits at the foot of the bed. You wished he’d just come back under the covers though, “I don’t really remember coming back home,” he says as he takes a sip of the coffee.

“Do you remember any of last night?” you asked. He shrugs, still facing the door.

“I remember doing really bad at beer pong with you,” he offered, rubbing the back of his head, “was I embarrassing? Oh Christ what did I say-”.

“Nothing! You just threw up on the floor, and then I uh- took you home,” you nodded, agreeing to yourself on this story.

“Mmm,” he hummed, before silence took over the room again. He didn’t ask what you were doing in his bed. He didn’t admit that he did remember some of the drunken haze. It wasn’t lying that he didn’t remember the walk home- he really didn’t- but he did remember you unlocking the door. And he vaguely remembered admitting he loved you.

For now though, the silence was welcome. The two of you sipped your coffee.

“We didn’t fuck right?” he asked, only to be met with a pillow to the cheek.

#aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #college au #Halloween Hotch #hotch #thomas gibson

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solradguy · 1 month

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What’s been the most fun and/or challenging part of working on the wiki? Also is there anything that still needs to be worked on that other people can help with?

THE CODE KILLED ME. So the wiki has a template that automagically puts this cool little Wikipedia help thingy next to Japanese text (the "?" on the end) in infoboxes and by command in text using some {{wiggly boys}} code:

And we wanted to try to get the Korean stuff on the wiki too because it's the second most officially supported language behind English and there's a bunch of cool exclusive Korean GG stuff no one's ever documented before. But there wasn't a module like this to help out with Korean text like there is for Japanese text.

I put one together based on the Japanese template's code and it was a nightmare. I was fighting for my life in the template trenches. It works though!! I did get it after a while!!

Mostly.

Shoutout to the Final Fantasy Wiki for the original JP template code and to the Dragon Blaze Wiki for seemingly being the only other English language wiki out there that cares about Korean text lol I don't know anything about Korean writing beyond super basic stuff (like what "hangul" is) so I had to do research into that alongside trying to learn wiki code.

The most fun part was probably getting GG World together, honestly. We couldn't believe that no one had actually transcribed those anywhere online before. Well, there was a file compiled by Lux for Revelator, but we wanted to transcribe these as-presented in the games and we couldn't use Lux's file since the goofy typos and some lore oopsies had been edited haha

Toxic and Elk have hauled ass getting those entries ripped and added. Major shoutout to them. I got the base layouts together and they went to town lol It's so cool seeing it all together now. We even started getting the official languages besides English and Korean added for Strive too.

As for what someone could do to help........ There's.... a lot...... Of the 4,532 image files currently on the wiki, only a very small handful of them were organized into categories when we forked. Here's the page of all the files currently not in a category: https://guiltygear.wiki.gg/wiki/Special:UncategorizedFiles

And all of the image categories they need to be sorted into. Note the subcategories under some of them: https://guiltygear.wiki.gg/wiki/Category:Images

I think I made the correct amount of categories for stuff but there may be one missing here or there. There were a lot and it was hard keeping track of them lol Feel free to holler at me on here or on my talk page over on the wiki if you need something made. I'm solradguy on the wiki.

These major character pages are also either entirely lacking citations or only have maybe 1 or 2 on the entire page (bad!!): Johnny, Chipp, Kliff, Baiken, Venom, Jam, Robo-Ky, Slayer, Sin, Izuna, Dr. Paradigm, Valentine, Bedman?, Answer, Haehyun, Elphelt, Giovanna, Happy Chaos, Asuka R♯

Swapping out the vague "GG World" citations on the wiki with the correct entry would be very helpful too. Like some pages will cite something and it just says "GG World" instead of " 'Axl Low' Xrd Rev2 GG World entry" or whatever relevant entry is needed.

If you know Korean, we also need to have the romaja added for the GG World entries. None of us knows Korean well enough to do that so not a single one has it filled in lol.... We were planning on using Revised Romanization of Korean since it's the official South Korean romanization system but if there's one that's more commonly used/accepted that's cool too (like how Hepburn is used for Japanese more often than the official Kunrei-shiki romanization)

#asks #long post #Axl Low is my example guy for GG World stuff because he was the first entry that got added #The GG Bible's Glossary was the start of the GG World project and Axl's the first thing listed in it #So the GG World test dummy he became

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baskeigh-ball · 4 months

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Ignoring the fact that ibis had the ai paint feature a couple years before this whole ai fiasco, after seeing your post, I decided to try it out to see if it really held up. I already knew what you said made no sense, as even stuff like ai painting requires heavy human input that isn't just someone typing a prompt in a thing and looking through thousands of images and somehow still calling it 'art'. Really, it's just some weird advanced bucket.

The ibis ai paint... really sucks. I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been touched since it was added. No matter what I did, I got random colours and whatever colours I had put there looked like it were from a filter, not to mention how my lineart bled everywhere like it was blurred out.

Ibis isn't problematic for adding that feature as not only was it added ages ago, but it was also just a gimmick only added because a few more popular paid programs added them, like Clip Studio Paint. I highly doubt even the company took it seriously considering how poorly built it is. This is actually the one time I'm glad some feature in an app sucks so much.

Another reason why ibis isn't problematic by the mere feature alone is that, when you look at the artists making content during the time of that update, it was received with humour. It was something fun to try, but ultimately dismissed for actual artwork, as nobody would use it to fully paint their works. Nowadays we see something slapped with the words 'ai' and think that it's instantly bad due to the latest issues with it and big corperations/ certain production companies but it isn't. It's just a lot of people abusing what was previously some fun gimmick, which it can still be, and for certain apps, still is. Nobody throws pitchforks at character ai, after all.

You can tell just by the size of this that I'm procrastinating on something. Ima go and let this rot away in your askbox now lol

You really thought this would fade away in my ask box, mwahahaha /j

I wanna start off by saying thank you for holding me accountable, I will admit that I got buzzworded pretty hard in this situation lmao

This information came as a surprise to me-- I was seeing posts pop up within the past week complaining about the ai feature on ibis, so I assumed it was recent. As it turns out, after reading your ask, I discovered that I got a few wires crossed! Because yes, the auto paint feature I referred to in my post has been around for years now, and was never taken seriously anyways

So that was my bad (and yea ur right it's completely unusable, lmao)

But as it turns out, the feature that people have been complaining about DID come out recently. It was called the AI Example feature, I think the idea was that you make a simple drawing and the AI adds 99% of the detail and color, which I've seen a bunch of other programs do.

...and then it was immediately removed due to some pretty major backlash, which, duh

^ This is the only evidence I can find of the 11.2.0 update that included the AI feature on the actual site; their update history stops at 11.1.0. But there's also the news page about the removal of the update, so it's not like they're trying to pretend it never happened.

So tl;dr, I jumped on the hate train a little too quickly and never did enough research to figure out what the actual update was, and that it's been removed by now anyway (which I couldn't have known until today, ofc, but i did kinda post that thing about ibis today so it's still a pretty major oopsie)

I think I can say with confidence now that I agree, ibis paint isn't problematic to use-- they made a mistake with this update, but they actually listened to their users and removed it LITERALLY the next day. So, thanks for letting me know! I'll also edit my last post to prevent any misinformation, just in case people make the same mistake I did :]

#its a big relief that i dont have to learn how to use an entirely new art program anyway #so this ask came as a pleasant surprise #asks open #ibispaintx #now i just gotta hope i didnt get anything else wrong about the update

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roonilwazlibimagines · 8 months

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all too well - c.d x female reader

Blurb: literally just all too well by taylor swift; young reader x older cedric Word Count: 14.7k Warnings: cedric's an ass, i did a lot of editing but i haven't looked at this in like a year A/N: what if i told you i started this the week after red (tv) release #oopsies #iwasnevergoingtoproofreadthisagainsoifiguredishouldjustpostit #ihaveinspiraitontowrite #howdowefeelaboutfratboyregulus #howdowefeelaboutmeselfprojecting

Masterlist

An Upstate Escape

It was my first year of Hogwarts when I first saw Cedric Diggory and, even if I didn’t necessarily believe it, the first thought that came to my mind was that one day he would be mine. It was a far stretch because while I was in my first year he was in his last and ready to graduate from Hogwarts. But it didn’t matter because really, it was just a silly schoolgirl crush.

Cedric Diggory was the golden boy. Quite literally. He had all the best attributes of a great Hufflepuff: he was Head Boy and captain of Hufflepuff’s Quidditch team, he was top of his year academically, and while he managed to accomplish all of that, he competed in the Triwizard Tournament and won.

This reputation definitely didn’t help my crush. It only made me want him more. Subconsciously, I think it made me feel that if I ever was to have a chance with him I needed to be just as golden as him. So I became the golden girl. I was top of my class academically, I was head girl and I already had a job as a junior healer lined up for me after Hogwarts. Cedric had his own reputation and now I had mine. It crossed my mind, one random afternoon during my last few days of Hogwarts that I finally felt like I was on the same level as Cedric Diggory.

Not that I had seen him since my last day of my first year. But I was still aware that he was golden. He was a famous Quidditch player which was one of the few things I lacked in comparison to him. Quidditch was never my strong suit, but I was happy to watch the game and I knew I would turn back into my first year old self if I ever got to see him play again.

He seemed untouchable now, with his elite status, but for some reason, I just knew that someday our paths would cross again.

And they did. The week after I had finished Hogwarts. I was out celebrating with my friends at a pub in Diagon Alley and even in the dark light I could recognise the familiar golden brown curls at the bar and I suddenly decided that I was thirsty. Offering to buy the next round I made my way up to the bar, pulling my skirt down and fixing my hair as I did so. I stood right next to him and leant over the bench so the bartender could hear me, forcing myself not to look at him.

I could feel his eyes on me and it gave me a confidence boost that I didn’t need. When I finished my order I stood back up straight, pretending to let my eyes search the room before landing on the man beside me.

“Hi,” he smirked, angling his body to face me. He was sitting on a stool and I had to look up at him.

“Hi,” I responded, smiling up at him and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, “Cedric Diggory, right?” The words escaped my mouth before I could think them through. Great. He was probably going to think I was some crazy fan who stalked him.

“You’re a fan?” Of course. He cocked an eyebrow at me as he took a sip of his drink and I chuckled.

“Sort of.” I was already slightly tipsy and feeling a bit too confident as I continued, “I was in my first year of Hogwarts when you graduated.” He nodded slowly and I wondered if he was doing the maths in his head.

“And you’ve been keeping up with me ever since?” There was a teasing glint in his eye as he went back to smirking and I laughed again.

“Something like that,” I mumbled, just as my drinks were placed in front of me. Both of our eyes fell on them and when I went to grab them he spoke again.

“So, you know who I am, tell me,” he paused, “what’s your name, pretty girl?” I almost dropped the drinks at his words and I think he noticed because he let out a low chuckle that was hard to hear with the music playing so loud.

When I told him my name he repeated it as if he was testing it out in his mouth and he smiled as if he enjoyed the new taste. I smiled up at him, suddenly unsure what was going to happen next and fearing that this would be the last time I spoke to Cedric Diggory.

“Well,” he thankfully continued, repeating my name once more, “I usually come here after Quidditch practice so maybe I’ll see you around?” He repeated his actions; lifting an eyebrow at me and sipping whatever was in his drink.

Smirking, I replied, “maybe you will,” and I walked away, my heart pounding as I tried to hide the grin on my face.

I didn’t want to be distracted by Cedric Diggory the whole night so I made a conscious effort not to look back at the bar, but it was torture. When we finished our round of drinks I allowed myself to glance back over to the bar and even if I wanted to turn away the second I saw Cedric Diggory already looking at me I forced myself to keep eye contact and gave him a flirty smile.

He seemed to like it because he smiled back and winked at me before downing his drink. I turned back around and let myself enjoy the way my heart fluttered.

~~~

The morning after I realised that I was in a trap. Firstly I wasn’t sure when Cedric had Quidditch practice, but that was an easy fix, surely one of my friends who were into Quidditch would know. The second issue was what did I do once I found out? Did I go there after his next Quidditch practice or would that seem too desperate? But if I didn’t go straight away and waited then I ran the risk of him finding someone else to flirt with. Then, of course, the self doubt crept in and for a few seconds I wondered if he even meant that he wanted to see me again. He was a famous Quidditch player. Surely he could have any girl he wanted.

I didn’t like chasing, there was too much thinking involved. But then I just had to remember how golden he still looked with his hair done perfectly and his eyes still gleaming and his confident demeanour and suddenly, I decided not to think too hard about it and went to find out when their next practice was.

The Quidditch season was ending soon meaning his team was practising religiously to ensure they had a prime opportunity to make it to the finals. I pretended to be interested when my friend told me all this hoping that when it would, undoubtedly, be brought up in conversation with Cedric I wouldn’t look like a complete fool. They figured out I was asking this for help with a boy but I didn’t tell them who it was. Not that I was embarrassed by Cedric or my crush on him, but I didn’t want to look like an idiot if nothing came out of it.

They trained Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays according to my friend and so I decided that Friday would be the best night to go. It was about a week since I first saw him so it didn’t look like I had rushed to find him and going out on a Friday night out was normal so it wouldn’t seem like I showed up just for him.

~~~

I realised I got there probably a bit too early because there was barely anyone in there. It was dark and the music was just starting to get louder. I sat myself on one of the stools at the bar, hoping that he would eventually show. I got a drink to calm my nerves and hopefully give me some confidence and I sipped it slowly so it wouldn’t immediately go to my head.

As I ordered a second drink I heard someone call my name and my head immediately snapped to find someone taking the seat next to me.

“Cedric,” I smiled, noticing that there were a few more people now in the pub.

“I’m glad you made it,” he smiled and I decided to act coy.

“Me too, did you have practice today?” I queried, thanking the bartender as I started sipping my new drink.

“I did, it was bloody horrendous today,” he mumbled before ordering a drink for himself.

“You must be training to get into the finals,” I commented, feeling proud of myself for relaying the information I had learnt last week.

“Yeah,” he sighed, his hands resting on his thighs, “we are. Are you a Quidditch fan?” I tensed up not exactly knowing what my next move should be. I wasn’t, but would he lose interest in me if I told him that?

“Of the sorts.” I went with, but immediately regretted it when I realised it made me sound lame. No one says that. He only nodded before taking a sip of his drink.

“So, tell me, what do you do?” I subconsciously sat up a bit straighter, proud to tell anyone my current occupation.

“I’m just starting as a junior healer at St. Mungo’s.” He gave me a surprised look and replied, “impressive.” I hoped it was. Surely a soon to be healer was on a similar level as a professional Quidditch player, right?

We spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other. He even gave me his personal insight into some of the tasks he had to do at the Triwizard Tournament and the whole night I was hanging onto each and every word that left his mouth. I was in awe of the man who really lived up to his reputation and was nothing short of golden and I was happy to hear all about him.

When it started getting late and the music seemed to die down I started to fear what would happen next.

“It has been lovely talking to you,” he said before finishing the drink in his hand, “I would love to keep this conversation going but maybe next time we could talk over dinner instead of drinks?” It took everything I had not to start squealing and shouting ‘yes!’. I instead cleared my throat to give me some time to relax before replying, “that sounds great.”

~~~

So the next week we were at a new restaurant outside Diagon Alley and Cedric was telling me about his training routine for his upcoming Quidditch game next week. It was a restaurant I had never heard of and there was barely anyone inside at this late hour, but I wondered if the few people in there could tell that I was completely enamoured by him and the way he spoke.

That night, despite the small crowd, I got a message from my friend alerting me of the ‘breaking news’ that Cedric Diggory had been spotted with a girl and could potentially be off the market.

‘Remember when you used to have a crush on him?’

For some reason I felt like I wasn’t meant to tell her that the mystery girl was me. Had Cedric told anyone? We had organised another dinner, this time at his house and I wondered if these locations had been specifically chosen to prevent the media from finding out more.

‘Worst news of my life’ I responded, hoping the conversation would end there.

After a few more dinners - which were never explicitly called ‘dates’, but I was confident were - Cedric said, “I really like talking to you.”

We were in another empty restaurant outside Diagon Alley and I beamed at him.

“I really like talking to you,” I giggled and he let out a breathy chuckle.

“You know,” he paused, “I’ve never met anyone like you.” My heart was pounding as I hung on his every word. “It feels like I’ve known you forever, you’re so mature for your age.” I wasn’t sure what to say but I thought it was a nice compliment so I looked down, hoping it came off as bashful. “Do you maybe want to come watch my game this weekend?”

He said I could bring a few of my friends and I, of course, accepted. I couldn’t remember if I had any plans that weekend, but I was more than happy to cancel them because going to the game would mean that people would see me.

The media knew that Cedric was seeing the same girl a couple of nights each week, but they didn’t know who the girl was, but going to his Quidditch game would make it official.

I hadn’t spoken about this with Cedric because I was scared he was going to think I was using him for fame or money or whatever it was, but it was obvious he wanted the same thing and had never been happier.

~~~

“Cedric Diggory?” One of my friends asked as I told them about how I had seen him that night we went out and how we had been meeting up since meaning I was the girl in that article.

“Yeah,” I said, “he was in his last year when we started, he is a professional Quidditch player?” I asked, dumbfounded that they were asking about him as if they didn’t know him.

“I know who he is,” they rolled their eyes at me, “he’s just kinda old.” They shrugged and I felt hot at the comment. I wanted to ask what the big deal was. We both enjoyed hanging out with each other, we were both adults. There was nothing wrong. But before I could speak another one of my friends chimed in.

“So are you like,” they paused, “dating?” We hadn’t said. The answer was therefore no, but I felt foolish telling them that. They were making this out to be a much bigger deal than it originally was and I was sad because I was no longer excited about asking them to the game.

“Well, we haven’t said we are officially dating,” I spoke slowly, “but surely he doesn’t ask every girl he meets to come to his Quidditch games, right?” They shrugged in response and I wished that, whether they believed it or not, they would have agreed with me.

~~~

I had bought his team's scarf and had my hair tied up in a scrunchie with his team's colours and we were sitting at the top of the stadium where Cedric had bought our tickets. I cheered for him when he came out and I cheered for him when he caught the snitch and they won the game. I was feeling giddy for him and for some reason I had never felt so nervous when I waited for him to come out of the locker rooms.

“Congratulations,” I smiled when he came out, his teammates trailing behind him.

“You stayed back.” One of his teammates nudged him in the side before chuckling and walking away but my focus was entirely on him.

“Of course,” I chuckled, bouncing on my heels.

“Thanks,” he mumbled and brought me in for a hug, pressing the faintest kiss to the top of my head. I felt his chest rise and fall and I wondered if he was exhausted after a long match.

“Listen,” he started, “we’re going out to celebrate tonight, but maybe tomorrow we can go out and do our own celebrating?” He pulled back and rose his eyebrow suggestively at me.

“Sounds good,” I whispered and feeling bold I leant in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “see you then.” I started walking past him, heading over to my friends who had given us our space.

I heard one of his friends laugh and ask, “was that your girlfriend, Ced?” but I was too far away to hear his reply. I wondered if he would make it official tomorrow night.

He would have to, right? We had been to dinner countless times and he had kissed me in front of his teammates. Well maybe it wasn’t a proper kiss, but it was something. He asked me to his game and he still wanted to see me afterwards so surely I wasn’t naive to think that he would ask me to be his girlfriend, right?

Well maybe I was naive enough to think that he would, because he didn’t.

We were back at his house and he was talking so quickly I could barely keep up, but I didn’t want him to think I was uninterested so I kept an interested look on my face.

“And then I was sure that I was going to be hit by the bludger, but as you saw I moved away just in time, but then I wasn’t sure where the snitch went and I was sure the other seeker was just about to grab it, but-” I reacted at all of the right places, but for some reason my heart was in my throat.

I knew we had only been talking for a short while, but I had feelings for Cedric Diggory and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself if he didn’t reciprocate them.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I barely noticed when he stopped talking, until he took a bite of his food and pointed at me before saying, “That’s cute.”

He was referring to his team's scarf that I had foolishly worn to dinner. I wasn’t sure why I wore it again. I had bought it just for the match and if I was being honest it was out of my budget. Apparently Quidditch merchandise is not in a financially struggling junior healer in training’s price range. I guess I just didn’t want it to be a waste of money.

“Thanks,” I looked down at my food, “I’ve had it for ages.” I mumbled, not really wanting him to know that I bought it just for the match.

He kept telling me stories about the team, what they got up to last night celebrating and when his next match would be.

“It’s nice, just to be in private, don’t you think?” he asked after finishing a story about his friend who got so drunk that night he spliced himself.

“You must get a lot of unwanted attention in public.” I took a sip of the water and he leant back on the bench across from me. I was weary of this conversation. Nothing had come from the media about me being at his game. Apparently they didn’t stay for the players to come out at the end of the game, so Cedric Diggory was still taken by some mystery girl.

I wasn’t sure why I was so caught up on this, I guess a part of me wanted to be public so it would feel real.

“Yeah, it gets hard sometimes,” he sighed, “you think you’re living a normal life but then it’s on the front page of the newspaper and suddenly everyone has an opinion.”

I guess it made sense. He obviously wanted to take things slow because of this privacy issue, but I was certain that one day we would take the next step.

And I was feeling pretty confident about it too when I was standing in his doorway, ready to apparate back home when he called out my name and grabbed onto my waist, bringing me closer to him and pressing his lips against mine. I smiled into the kiss and brought my hands onto his chest to steady myself from the sudden movement. He pulled away and I knew I was smiling like an idiot.

“See you next week?” he asked, and I beamed.

“Of course.”

When I got home I realised that I had left my scarf at his house but that was the least of my concerns because all I could focus on was the feeling of him on my lips and the excitement of a new relationship beginning and all I could do was close my eyes and focus on my breathing so I didn’t pass out.

The First Crack in The Glass

Cedric and I had been going out for over a month now and we were settling into our relationship. If that’s what we were calling it. I was unsure because we had never spoken about it explicitly. It did frustrate me, but I was so happy to be with him and I didn’t want to push him in a direction he didn’t want to go in, so I tried not to think about it.

I hoped that he would extend that favour to me as well. Cedric had invited me to one of the training sessions and it was here where the media finally got the winning shot of Cedric walking over to me sitting in the stands. It didn’t take long before people found out it was me and even though Cedric hadn’t brought it up, I wondered if he was as happy as I was that our love was there for the world to see.

Since our relationship had received a bit of attention from the media, we now had most of our dates at his house. Now that people knew we were together, media outlets seemed to be following our every move and it was frustrating having to use back exits and going out in inconspicuous clothing. I didn’t think Cedric really liked all the attention our relationship was getting. He would always get quiet when there were people waiting outside to take our photos and I would always find papers with our photo on them torn up in his bin.

Which I was noticing a lot more now that we were spending more time at his house.

But I wasn’t complaining about it because it gave us plenty of opportunities to make out.

Cedric’s lips were soft and his touch was sure. Sometimes it made me feel a bit insecure because he obviously had experience whereas I had only had a few pathetic ‘pecks’ during school.

But I had other things to worry about. Sometimes Cedric would get a bit handsy and I’d have to awkwardly make an excuse and remove myself from the situation. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy his touch, he was obviously skilled and I enjoyed it thoroughly, but I just wasn’t ready to take it to the next step.

I hadn’t done anything like that with another person and while it had crossed my mind that I wouldn’t mind doing it with Cedric, I just wasn’t ready to give that up when I wasn’t even sure if we were officially dating.

Tonight I was meeting his friends for the first time. They mainly consisted of the people he played Quidditch with as well as a few others who were in his year at Hogwarts. It was a celebration for his team who had made it to the finals and even though I still needed it explicitly said, the fact that he had chosen me to accompany him made me feel like we were official.

“You look divine,” Cedric murmured, making his way over to me and placing his hands on my hips. He brought his head down to mine and he pressed a kiss to the outside of my ear making me giggle.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, “I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous.” He pulled away from me. We were outside his doorway, my arms were wrapped around my chest in the cool night air and I was glad that his porch light was dim because I could barely see his face and I hoped it was the same for him.

“Why?” His eyebrow furrowed in confusion and put a hand on my upper arm.

“I don’t know,” I murmured, trying not to meet his gaze, “it’s just nerve wracking meeting new people.” He didn’t respond and so I continued. “I really want to make a good impression on your friends, you know? They’re obviously important to you and I don’t want them to hate me.” “Why would they hate you?” I wasn’t entirely sure. For a moment I reflected on it. They were the same age as Cedric. I had just left school. I didn’t think that we would have much in common and I guess a part of me understood how people perceived my relationship with Cedric in regards to our age gap. I didn’t want to tell him this though.

“I don’t know,” I mumbled and he brought a hand under my chin so I would look up at him.

“Hey,” his voice was just above a whisper, “there’s a reason I’m bringing you tonight, don’t doubt yourself, okay?” He brought his head closer to mine and placed a kiss on my forehead and I felt my heart flutter. Obviously he liked me enough if there was a reason he was bringing me tonight.

My fears were unfortunately confirmed at the party. Cedric had kindly introduced me to all of his friends and I was holding on, probably a little too tightly, to his arm. We were at someone's house and it was loud and dark and I could smell the alcohol and some other foul odour that I had a suspicion was drugs.

“She just finished Hogwarts, but she’s already a junior healer.” He sounded so proud that I didn’t have the heart to tell him that technically I wasn’t a junior healer yet. And all of his friends sounded impressed and I liked that.

However, once he had introduced me to everyone, he got called over by one of his teammates and turning to me he quickly mumbled a, “I’ll be right back,” and left me by myself.

I went to go over to his friends from Hogwarts, surely we would have some common ground because we went to the same school. We did. Kind of. Most of the teachers they had had either retired or left by the time I had started and I was getting lost in their stories. Not that it was their fault. They welcomed me in and they included me in conversation, but there was so much history between them and I didn’t have enough time to catch up.

I excused myself and went to the bathroom, hoping that along the way I would find Cedric and he would rescue me.

I found him on my way to the bathroom and changed trajectory so I was walking over to him. He was sitting in a lounge and there was a small space next to him.

“Hey.” He sat up as I made my way over and I squished myself onto the empty space next to him. I brought my hands around his arm once more and he smiled down at me before going back to the conversation with his teammates. They didn’t include me as much as his friends from Hogwarts did and when he was talking he was using so many hand actions that my hands got shaken away from his and they were now resting awkwardly in my lap.

He was facing away from me and I was glad because I didn’t want him to see me overreacting about this.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” I mumbled and it made me even sadder when Cedric didn’t even acknowledge me leaving.

I was slightly panicked when I realised I didn’t even know where the bathroom was, but I was even more terrified when I found it and realised that I could potentially walk in on anything. I locked the door behind me and I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned. I didn’t even know why I was so upset.

I put it down to just being overwhelmed. I was in a new environment with new people who I wanted to impress so I could impress my boyfriend, who wasn’t actually welcoming me into his friend group, who also isn’t actually my boyfriend, and who probably wants to have sex with me even though I’m not ready yet.

So maybe I did know why I was so upset.

I focused on my breathing and splashed some cold water on my face before opening the door and going out to face round two.

I didn’t get very far because as I left I bumped into Ginny Weasley. She apologised and I apologised and when we both regained our composure she smiled brightly at me.

“Hey, your Cedric’s girlfriend, yeah?” I was so shocked about running into someone and being known as Cedric’s girlfriend that I immediately replied with a, ‘yes.’

“You went to Hogwarts, right? I think you were a few years below me?” I was shocked that she remembered and had to swallow before I answered.

“Yeah I did, we were a couple years apart.” She was so famous in the Quidditch world that even I knew who she was. “Congratulations on your team getting through.” She didn’t play on the same team as Cedric but Cedric had told me that her team had gone through as well. I guess they were here also celebrating.

“Thank you,” she beamed, “so excited to be able to play in the finals.” After that I excused myself and told her that I had to find Cedric, but really all I wanted was to go home.

I kept replaying the conversation with Ginny as I made my way back to Cedric. I wasn’t entirely sure where he was because I wasn’t even sure how I found the bathroom.

People were shouting and bumping into me but all I could do was dig my nails into my hand as I recalled how I had foolishly said I was Cedric’s girlfriend.

But then I heard Cedric’s laugh and when I saw him his head had fallen back and he had a hand on his abdomen and I smiled.

I was definitely overreacting.

I went back to the seat beside Cedric, but he barely acknowledged my return. I decided that if I wasn’t going to be explicitly included in the conversation then I was still going to support Cedric. So I sat there and looked pretty and laughed at the right times and listened to every single word that they said so next time I would be able to join in.

Halfway through a conversation Cedric excused himself to go to the bathroom and I felt my breath get caught in my throat when I realised I would be left alone with his friends.

“So, has Cedric gone soft?” One of them asked me as soon as Cedric was out of ear shot. I was so shocked at being addressed that I stared at them with my mouth open for a second before I let out a laugh.

“I don’t want to embarrass him.” They all laughed at that.

“You don’t have to,” one of them said.

“We can do that.” I found myself laughing as well. Maybe this wasn’t too bad.

They kept telling me embarrassing stories about Cedric and when he came back he had a look of confusion seeing us all laughing together.

“What are you guys talking about?” he asked, laughing awkwardly, obviously feeling left out of our laughter.

“We were just reliving that time you fell of your broom when that reporter came and-”

“Don’t remind me,” he winced and for the first time that night I felt relaxed.

With Cedric back the conversation returned to one which I was no longer a part of and part of me was sad that we were no longer bonding. But before I knew it the party was over and Cedric was apparating us back to his place.

I hadn’t stayed the night at his place, yet, but I was feeling giddy after the party and was hoping that he would offer tonight.

“Did you talk to Ginny Weasley tonight?” he queried. His back was towards me but I could tell that the bubbly persona he had had with his friends was suddenly gone.

“What?” I was so shocked about the sudden change in his demeanour that that was all I could get out. “Yeah I did,” I corrected myself, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion and my arms instinctively wrapping across my chest. “Why?” We were in the kitchen, he was facing the bench and I was facing his back.

“Did you tell her we were boyfriend and girlfriend?” He finally turned around to raise an eyebrow at me accusingly and I was left standing at him dumbfounded.

“What?” This time my voice was shrill and I almost let out a chuckle at the ridiculous question.

“She came up to me and said something about how cute my girlfriend was and I was just wondering if you were telling people that we were dating?” I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was blink at him.

“So we aren’t dating?” I squinted my eyes at him, my mouth still hanging open in shock.

“Well, no,” he mumbled and I finally let out a laugh. I felt so foolish. I wanted to cry.

“So why’d you bring me out tonight then?” I gave him an incredulous look and he rolled his eyes which only made me even angrier.

“Don’t do that,” he grunted, turning away from me again.

“Do what?” I took a step closer to him.

“Get all upset and emotional about it,” he winced as if me showing any emotion disgusted him.

“About the fact that we act like a couple but you won’t make it official?”

“Look,” he paused, bringing his hands out in front of him, his palms facing me, “I don’t want to fight with you about this.”

“Well what are we, Cedric?” I was practically shouting now but I didn’t care. “You can’t expect me to go on like this if you won’t put a label on us.”

“We were doing fine before all of this, why do we need to complicate things?” I just stared at him. My mouth slightly agape, wondering if maybe I really was complicating things. I hadn’t really had a boyfriend before, is this what it was like?

“Cedric,” I begged, “we go out all the time, we make out on your couch almost every night, you invite me to your parties but then ignore me the whole night, and then when I-”

“Hang on,” he interrupted, “ignore you?” He finally turned to me and I shrunk under his intense gaze. I had seen Cedric angry before. When paparazzi followed us out of a restaurant, when he didn’t catch the snitch or lost a game. But that was an angry quiet. His jaw would visibly tense and his fingers would turn white as he dug his nails into his palm and he wouldn’t say anything to me until he had calmed down, which sometimes took days. No matter how much I tried to speak to him, he remained quiet. I was used to it. But this? I was not.

“Well, yeah,” I mumbled, suddenly not as confident as I was only seconds ago.

“Explain,” he challenged.

“You introduced me to your friends but then you left me by myself and I have nothing in common with them and then when I do go find you you ignored me the whole time and-”

“I was just talking to my friends!” he exclaimed, “is that such a fucking crime?” I think it was the first time I had heard him swear and I wished that I had never brought this up.

“It’s not, but I just, I wasn’t included in the conversation and I just felt-”

“You were in the conversation, you were laughing and they were telling you stories about me, I don’t know what the fuck you’re going on about.” I felt my bottom lip tremble, not used to being on the receiving end of such harsh words. But I took a deep breath and swallowed before continuing.

“Okay, fine, whatever,” I didn’t want to fight, I had a feeling he’d win, “but I need to know where I stand with you.” My voice was weak and he brought his hands up to run a hand through his hair before he continued.

“I don’t know,” he sounded frustrated, “I guess all my previous relationships have been physical and-”

He continued but I didn’t process a single word he said after that. Of course he wanted to be physical. Intimacy was such an important part of a relationship and I had been depriving him of that.

“I haven’t done anything before,” I spoke slowly, playing with my hands in front of my abdomen. He let out a sigh and came closer to me, grabbing my fidgeting hands in his own.

“Well don’t feel pressured to do anything, but I just think it would maybe help us become more real, you know?” I didn’t know because I had never done it. When I didn’t respond he just continued. “Look, let’s just call it a night, you can think about it and you can stay over here.” He leaned over to press a kiss to the top of my head. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

I just let him hold me close to him, my body limp as he put a hand on the curve of my spin and led me to his bedroom where he let me borrow some of his clothes.

I didn’t really want to spend the night with him anymore but it was what I wanted mere minutes ago and I couldn’t be bothered to fight it.

I thought the first time I would sleep in the same bed with him I would have the best sleep of my life. I would feel comfortable and safe. He’d have an arm around my waist and we’d either be facing each other and watching the other until the first person fell asleep, or my back would be towards him and I’d feel him breath in and out. It was neither of those things.

I was on my back, staring at the ceiling unable to fall asleep. It was a big thing to be willing to give up a part of myself for Cedric. I kept tossing and turning, hoping that sleep would find me, but it never did.

All I wanted was to get some peace and so I decided that I was willing to give that part of myself up and suddenly I was able to fall asleep.

~~~

“I’m ready,” I had told him as I sat across from him at breakfast.

“You’re ready?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I nodded.

“To you know,” I paused, “have sex.” I hated how weak my voice got as I said those last two words.

“Excellent,” he beamed, sitting up a bit straighter.

“But, do you think maybe we could take it slow?” I asked, “I kinda want my first time to be special.” It sounded silly, I knew that. But it was a lot of him to ask that I give this up for him and I was hoping that he would be able to do this one thing for me.

He let out a laugh and I wasn’t sure if I should have been offended or not.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said with his breakfast in his mouth, “your first time,” he added, “don’t put too much pressure on it.”

I wanted to tell him that to me, my first time was important, but I was scared it would turn into a fight like last night so I let it go.

I was a nervous wreck ever since that conversation. I wasn’t sure how to dress, I didn’t know what underwear and bra to wear. Did I eat beforehand? Surely I wasn’t meant to have a full bladder. I had all of these questions and really no one to ask. I wanted to ask my friends but they were still unsure about my relationship with Cedric and I wanted to ask Cedric but I feared he would think I was stupid and I wanted to prove to him that I was ready and mature enough to do this, so I figured it out myself.

It didn’t really matter what I wore because it was off me within seconds. Cedric made a comment that my lingerie was cute, but then he took it off so that didn’t really matter either. It didn’t matter that I went in with an empty stomach either because by the end of it I had lost my appetite. But my mouth was dry and I desperately needed a drink of water. Cedric offered to get me one when I was lying naked on top of his bed sheets.

My bottom lip was trembling and my chest was heaving but I knew I couldn’t cry. Cedric took it slow but it was all so quick it felt like it was over within minutes.

I was on my back the whole time, my hands briefly going out to touch Cedric’s shoulders as he leaned over me to grunt in my ear.

Maybe I was naive to think that my first time would be romantic and special and about my pleasure, maybe that just wasn’t how sex worked. Cedric obviously had a lot more experience than me and so he would know better.

But still, I just felt like there was a piece of me missing. And I knew it was stupid because I knew that virginity was just a social construct, but I had a feeling I was no longer the same person I was this morning when I woke up.

“Here you go, baby,” Cedric hummed, passing me my glass of water as I sat up and started sipping it. He got back on the bed and I placed my glass on a tissue on his bedside table.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, copying his actions and lying back down. I brought the bed sheet up to my neck.

“That was amazing,” he seemed dazed and I noticed it was the first time I had seen his hair in a mess. I figured that if he looked like he had reached euphoria then I should as well and so I agreed with him. “Was it good enough for your first time?” He gave me a lazy smirk as he came closer to me and held my body close to his.

“Yeah,” my voice came out shaky and he only chuckled in response.

“Good,” he hummed, “only the best for my girlfriend.” His arms snaked around my waist as he brought me closer to him. I laid there, still. I couldn’t move. There were too many emotions that I had never felt before and all I wanted was to have a shower, get dressed and go home. But I let him hold me close to him because at least now we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

Are You Real?

We had been seeing each other for just over two months and we were officially a couple now. After that night things did get better. Cedric was inviting me to stay overnight at his house often and he was starting to introduce me to his friends as his girlfriend.

The biggest shock for me was when he asked me to meet his family. I thought that was pretty serious and so I happily said yes.

I was nervous again, about meeting new people, but I didn’t want to accidentally make him angry by reminding him of the last time I was nervous about meeting people close to him.

“Don’t be so nervous,” he had chastised anyway. We were standing in front of his parents' door and I wasn’t sure if I was shivering from the nerves or the cold.

“I’m not,” I had whined, my eyebrows furrowing together as I defended myself.

“You are,” he chuckled, pulling me closer to him and wrapping my coat tighter around my body, “don’t be.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and we were walking into his childhood house.

“Cedric!” His father had cried out, hurrying over to give him a hug. I stood a little awkwardly behind him until his mother came up.

“And you must be his new girlfriend,” I introduced myself and she brought me in for a hug.

They were leading us into the living room and I couldn’t help but look at everything we passed as I took in his house. It was big. Bigger than any house I had ever lived in and probably even bigger than the house Cedric currently lived in.

I followed Cedric in and sat down next to him in the lounge in the living room and his dad sat in front of us. His mother went to go get us drinks while Cedric and his father caught up.

I held onto his arm, smiling the whole time and laughing at the appropriate times, fearing the moment the attention would be brought upon myself.

“So, tell me, how did you two meet?” His mother sat next to her husband and I opened my mouth to talk.

“We met in Diagon Alley,” Cedric beat me to it and I went back to smiling at them.

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” she replied, “and what do you do?” She turned to address me and I went to tell her about how excited I was to start as a junior healer.

“She’s starting as a junior healer soon,” Cedric had answered for me.

“Wow,” they both exclaimed, “that’s impressive.”

“It is,” Cedric replied, placing a hand on my knee, “it’s no surprise though, she was top of her class and head girl,” he paused, “my perfect girl.” I stared at him a bit dumbfounded, blinking rapidly, trying to figure out what to say next. We had expressed ways we admired the other, but these were some of the most heartfelt words I had ever heard Cedric say about me.

“You’re too kind,” I mumbled as his parents watched our interaction. He beamed down at me and I gave him a nervous smile.

“We’ve never seen Cedric so infatuated with someone before,” his dad teased and I could hear his mum coo. Cedric chuckled.

“Please, I don’t need you guys embarrassing me.” He let his head fall for a moment and I laughed.

“He does that enough himself.” I looked over at him and we shared another smile.

When we eventually made our way over to the dinner table I passed a photo frame of a young Cedric, he would have only been around five or six, with a broom in his hand. It was much bigger than him and in the other he had a fake golden snitch in his hand. His teeth were crooked and his eyes were crinkled from his beaming smile. I couldn’t help but stop and smile as I looked up at it.

“We always knew he would be a Quidditch star,” his mum said. I turned around and smiled at her and continued walking to the dining room.

“Mum,” Cedric complained.

“Well we did, I’m sure you were riding a broom before you could walk properly.” I laughed as I sat down at the table.

“Well, he wasn’t always good,” his dad chimed in and Cedric groaned. “There was the time you flew into our fence.”

“Oh,” his mum laughed, “and the time you lost control and broke the door.”

“I was a child.” Cedric tried to defend himself but he could barely be heard over the laughter.

He was smiling, nonetheless and as I turned over to look at him I was sure that I could see the same smile as the little boy in the photo frame. Still bright, eyes still wrinkled, but maybe straighter teeth.

And he was mine.

I wasn't sure what it was, but I suddenly felt silly about how infatuated I was with him before all of this. Maybe he was just as golden as I had always pictured him to be, but he was still human and somehow, that made me love him even more.

I had already planned that Cedric would have to meet my parents after he so graciously let me meet his and I hoped that it would go just as smoothly as it had with Cedric’s. His parents were so kind and welcoming and there was never an awkward silence which I really appreciated.

He didn’t appear nervous at all and I feared I was carrying it for both of us, but his calm disposition made me feel better.

I had a feeling it could be a little more rocky compared to meeting his because of the letter my parents had sent me when I asked them if I could bring him over. Even though I hadn’t really considered it, apparently our age gap was a bit of an issue for them and they had outlined how concerned they were for me in this relationship. I assured them that Cedric was nothing short of a gentleman and promised them that when they met him they would change their mind immediately.

I didn’t want to tell Cedric this because, really, we hadn’t had the age gap conversation and part of me was scared that if we had it he would doubt himself and call this whole thing off.

They gave me a hug when I entered and Cedric walked in and gave my dad a handshake and my mum a hug and I watched anxiously.

“And you must be Cedric,” my mum said, looking him up and down. They were both smiling but there was an awkward tension in the air which didn’t seem to bother Cedric.

“The one and only,” he joked and I eased up when I remembered how comfortable Cedric was in front of new people.

We were ushered in and found ourselves in a similar position to the one at Cedric’s house except this time, the heat - thankfully - wasn’t on myself.

“You have a lovely house,” he had commented as we walked through and I gave his hand a squeeze.

“Oh,” my parents seemed surprised, “thank you.”

“So, you’re a Quidditch star?” My dad asked when we were finally sitting down.

“Not a star,” he looked bashful and I thought it was cute, “just someone who plays sport.”

“Well you’re very good at it.” It looked like it pained my father to admit it, but Cedric kept his confident demeanour.

“Thank you,” he smiled sheepishly, “I’ve been playing ever since I can remember. Are you a big fan of Quidditch?” I was holding onto Cedric’s arm, looking between him and my dad as they conversed.

“Yeah,” my dad nodded, “but not of your team.”

“Dad.” I gave him a warning look, but he shrugged. Cedric just laughed.

“Hey,” Cedric turned to me, “a man's team is important.” I shook my head but when my father told him his team he continued. “I could get you tickets to their next game if you want?” He perked up at that and soon they were planning to go to a game together.

It seemed my dad had warmed up to Cedric and even though I was a bit weary he would give him a hard time, I was glad they had found common ground. My mum, on the other hand, still had a tight lipped smile as she studied Cedric.

“Well I better start dinner.” She stood up but before she could leave Cedric chimed in.

“Can I help you at all?” She paused and slowly turned around, her head slightly turned to the side.

“No thank you, Cedric,” she paused, “you’re our guest. She gave him a genuine smile and I let out a sigh of relief. They were both warming up to him and that was all I ever wanted.

When we finally made our way over to the dining room, Cedric pulled my chair out for me and I saw my parents share a look as my whole body suddenly turned warm.

Cedric kept the conversation going all night, telling stories about his games and asking my parents questions about themselves and about me, which I was very embarrassed about, but was glad they were getting along.

I was completely enamoured by how confident he was. If I didn’t know any better, you could tell me that he had known my parents his whole life and I would have believed you. He knew just how to charm them and somehow, I was falling even more in love with him.

I stayed back when Cedric left to spend some time with my family and once he did so my parents let out a sigh.

“He seems nice,” my mum commented.

“He’s a nice guy,” my dad said at the same time. I hummed in content. He definitely was.

I never really understood what people meant when they said their relationship was in the ‘honeymoon phase’. Wasn’t your whole relationship meant to feel like a honeymoon? I thought Cedric’s and I would. We had met the other’s family, and both times were successful. We had finally been intimate together, and I was starting to get used to it. He introduced me as his girlfriend all the time and when he wasn't busy training for the finals, we were spending every second we could together.

He had confided in me about his past relationships as well. Girls who were just in it for the fame and the money and I was glad I never brought up how stressed I was about our secretive relationship when we first started dating.

“But you’re different,” he said, “I can picture a future with you.”

I think I finally understood what the phrase picture perfect meant. Everything between Cedric and I was going so well, we just fit together so well. Everything was falling into place and I was convinced we were matching puzzle pieces.

We still hadn’t said ‘I love you’ to the other, but I knew the feelings were there for me and I was sure the feelings were there for him.

But it all started to go downhill on a random Tuesday night.

When I went over Cedric was in a bit of a mood. It was one of his quiet angry moods. I didn’t like when he was in them, but it wasn’t something new to me. I tried to be as pleasing as I could so as not to disturb him anymore.

“How was your day?” He only grunted in response, sitting at the coffee table with a hot mug of tea in his hand. I went over to the kitchen to make myself one.

“What’s wrong?” I tried to keep my voice light but I mustn’t have done a good job at it.

“Nothing,” he grumbled and I held back a sigh.

“You just seem a bit upset s’all,” I mumbled, pouring the water from the kettle into the mug that I always used at his house, “just want to help.”

“Well it is your fault,” he mumbled it so low under his breath I wasn’t even sure I heard him correctly.

“What?” I went to sit next to him and he ran a hand through his hair before passing the newspaper over at me.

There was a picture of me clinging to his arm from a night out with his friends only last week on the front page and a headline making a dig of our age gap in black, bold letters.

“Oh,” I mumbled, my eyes scanning the article to find some not nice comments about myself.

“Yeah, oh,” he scoffed and I turned to him with my eyebrows furrowed.

“You’re making this sound like it’s my fault.”

“Well if you weren’t being so clingy that night,” he mumbled. I wanted to tell him that me being ‘clingy’ probably had nothing to do with the article. If I wasn’t so ‘clingy’ they still would have said horrible things. And most of the horrible things were about me, so really, why was he so upset?

“What’s that meant to mean?” He rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated groan.

“Look, I know you’re not used to being in the spotlight but now you are and every single move you make is important, it reflects on me and it reflects on my career.”

“All I did was hold onto your arm.” It came out more like a question as I tried to wrap my head around what we were actually fighting about.

“Which makes you seem childish,” he explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He pointed to the comment about our age gap to prove his point and I sat back in the chair next to him.

My instinct was to reply, ‘well I am a child.’ But I wasn’t. I was seventeen now. I was an adult.

“Sorry,” I said sarcastically, “next time I’ll let them take a picture of me when I’m working.” He made an odd noise between a groan and a grunt and ran a hand through his hair so it was sticking up in odd places.

“You’re always like this,” he groaned.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re always so clingy and when I bring it up you get all defensive. You did that night of the party as well.” My whole body got hot. Was I really that clingy? I didn’t think I was.

I was speechless.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he sighed, “I’ve got my game coming up this weekend and I’m stressed and you’re not used to this.” Cedric had his semifinal match this weekend to determine whether his team made it into the final so I understood that times were tough.

I didn’t say anything back and when Cedric finally looked over at me he scooted his chair closer to me and wrapped an arm around me.

I wanted to shove it off but I didn’t know how he would react. He was red and angry only a second ago. I couldn’t believe it only took him seconds to calm down.

He was humming as he started tracing patterns on my arm with his thumb but I was too lost in my own thoughts to notice what he was humming or drawing.

I was too focused on the article in front of me. I was smiling up at him in the picture. He was looking over my head. I looked bright and radiant. That was the night he had introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend. He had practically shown me off as if he was proud of the person I was and I wished that I could go back to that person because all I wanted to do now was hide.

~~~

Cedric said he didn’t want me to come to his semi finals match.

“What?” We were at his house again. His game was the next day and this afternoon when I apparated over to his house I thought that I would have to find that scarf I left over so I could wear it to his game.

“I’ll be too nervous if you’re there watching me.” I thought he was making no sense, but I didn’t really want to fight with him before such a big game.

“But I want to cheer you on.”

“You can,” he paused, “from home.” I sighed. It seemed ever since that article Cedric and I hadn’t stopped fighting. We fought when the restaurant got our take out order wrong (because I should’ve checked it before leaving with it), we fought when I told him I wasn’t in the mood for sex (because I had been acting distant lately) and we fought whenever we went out of the house (because there was always something I did wrong).

And I was getting sick of it so I got my bag and shrugged my shoulders.

“Fine, if that’s what you really want.” He opened his mouth to say something but I apparated away before he could get a word in. “Good luck, Cedric.”

I wanted to cry as soon as I got home, but I wouldn’t allow myself to. Allowing myself to cry was almost like admitting that there was something wrong in our relationship. Which there wasn’t. We were having sex now. Things were different.

~~~

I watched him play his stupid game on the lounge in my pyjamas. I didn’t even have my stupid scarf. I still cheered for him, even though it wasn't doing them any good because they were losing. Badly.

I was tense the whole time. I didn’t think Cedric would react very well to losing the semi-finals. Especially when they got thrashed.

I debated going over to see him, but I decided I didn’t want to deal with him in a shitty mood so I apparated to his house bright and early the next day.

“He’s the reason we fucking lost.” I was standing outside his front door, but I could hear him yell.

“Mate, I know,” I heard a second voice, “but you have to calm down.” I stupidly let myself in.

“No, I’ve been training my ass off this whole season, how is it fair that we all suffer because of his stupidity?”

“It’s not, but-”

“No, I don’t care.” I had never heard his voice so loud. I was frozen standing on the other side of his door. They were in the kitchen, but I wasn’t brave enough to make myself known. “I want him off the team.”

“Mate, you can’t-”

“He can’t even play.” I heard him hit something and I involuntarily jumped. I didn’t think I made much noise, but maybe I did because they stopped talking and walked out of the kitchen to find me standing foolishly in front of his door.

I made eye contact with Cedric. My whole body was tense and hot in the worst ways possible and I wanted to walk straight back outside his door and forget this ever happened.

“You need to calm down mate.” His teammate nodded at me in acknowledgement, before patting a hand on Cedric’s back. “I’ll talk to you later.” He said goodbye to me and walked outside, before apparating away.

I didn’t know what to say. I stood there in silence before Cedric sighed.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. I didn’t either. He walked back into the kitchen, hitting the table and making me flinch again.

Part of me wanted him to come over and kiss the top of my head and apologise to me just like he did whenever we fought. Part of me didn’t want him to come near me ever again.

My heart was racing. I was frozen on the spot. I hoped once Cedric and I were intimate things would change and I guess in some strange way I had gotten my wish. I guess I should’ve been more specific.

The Breaking Point

Almost at the end of three months since I had first met Cedric Diggory it was my birthday. I was very excited and I had told Cedric numerous times.

“I’ve always loved my birthday.” I had mentioned to him when we were in bed one night. He hummed in response and I turned to face him. I was lying on my side and staring up at him while he had his back resting against the headboard.

“Hello,” I chuckled, noticing that he wasn’t present. His eyes briefly turned to me before going back to staring straight ahead.

“Sorry love, what were you saying?” He had been like this since his team lost the semifinals and I was trying not to get frustrated. He hadn’t had an outburst of anger since that day I walked in on him yelling at his teammate, but for some reason I felt like I had a false sense of security.

“Just that I was excited for my birthday,” I shrugged, turning onto my back. I suddenly didn’t want to have this conversation.

“And I’m excited that you’re excited,” he smirked down at me before moving his body so he was lying on his side and looking at me. I giggled and playfully rolled my eyes.

“I’m excited to introduce you as my boyfriend to all my friends,” I mumbled, giving him a cheesy grin. He beamed at me and moved his head to press a kiss to my cheek. Most of my friends hadn’t really shown any desire to meet Cedric, they still had their concerns but I was certain as soon as they met him they would change their mind.

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

But apparently there was another way. I didn’t have a massive party in his defence. It was just my family and my friends and him. If he was here. But we were only an hour into the party and he still had plenty of time to show up.

We were out in a pub in Diagon Alley, the same one where I had met Cedric. I had had a few drinks but I didn’t want to forget my birthday so I was waiting a while before I had my next.

My friends were around me, dancing and laughing and I tried not to think about how excited I was to introduce them to Cedric.

“Where’s your boy toy?” One of them had laughed when they arrived. I chuckled, trying not to let anything have an effect on me.

“He’s just running a bit late, he will be here soon.” I didn’t know if he would actually be here soon, but it was what I kept telling myself.

Surely he hadn’t forgotten, I had been speaking about it for the past two weeks. I’m sure that something had come up, he wouldn’t just not show up.

Two hours into the party the fear crept in that he wouldn’t show up.

“Where’s Cedric?” My dad had asked and I thought it was funny how even though it was my birthday everyone was concerned with Cedric Diggory. So maybe my thoughts were turning a bit sour. I guess that happens when your boyfriend is late to your birthday party with no explanation.

“Just running a bit late.” I couldn’t count on both hands how many times I had said that in the past hour. He gave me a sympathetic look and I smiled back at him in response, trying to convince him everything was fine. I was feeling bad enough for myself, I didn’t need anyone else to do so as well.

I was a little embarrassed. I knew my dad was warming up to Cedric, they got along quite well. Part of me worried about how distraught my dad would be if Cedric didn’t show up (because he was going to show up). But the other part of me was too focused on how distraught I was that he wasn’t here yet.

My eye was kept on the door for the whole night. I thought that maybe if I imagined him walking in with that charming smile and his golden hair styled to perfection that it might actually happen.

It didn’t. We were now three hours into my party and I wasn’t sure that Cedric was going to show. The only word that kept replaying through my mind was why? A few times I caught someone’s eye when I finally stopped staring at the door and they gave me a sympathetic smile. I was sad that Cedric didn’t show and everyone knowing that he didn’t show felt even worse. I excused myself to go to the bathroom but it seemed everyone was trying to have fun for me and I wasn’t sure if anyone heard.

The bathroom was empty and I walked over to the sink. My hands were shaking as I turned on the tap and I thought that I was being stupid. It was my birthday. I had had plenty of birthdays without a boyfriend and while this time I actually did have one - he just didn’t show up - I told myself that this wasn’t any different.

But it was. He didn’t show up. I tried to tell myself that something had happened. He wasn’t the type of person to do this. But surely he would have sent an owl or a patronus or something. I let the cool water fall into my hands and I flicked them up so some of it would cool my face down.

I took a look at myself in the mirror and frowned. The last time I looked at myself in this mirror I was a completely different person. I hadn’t even met Cedric Diggory. I was still a virgin. Suddenly I felt like I was going to throw up and not wanting to be even more embarrassed on my birthday, my body settled for a few tears streaming down my face.

I let out a harsh sob and brought my hands up to my face. My palms were cool on my cheeks but the warm flow of tears prevented me from embracing it.

I stood there, crying for a minute until I heard the door open and I quickly pulled my hands away from my face and brought them back under the sink hoping that whoever walked in would think I was just washing my hands.

“Hey,” I heard a familiar voice and then I heard them say my name. I turned around to see Ginny Weasley, looking as stunning as ever. “What’s wrong?” The smile on her face disappeared as she saw my swollen cheeks and she started walking closer to me.

“Nothing,” I smiled. I wanted to say more. I wanted to tell her that Cedric was what was wrong. I wanted to tell her that I was stupid for ever thinking that I had a chance with the golden boy because I was starting to realise the golden boy doesn’t exist. But I had only spoken to her, like, once before so I didn’t think it was appropriate.

She stared at me for a moment, seemingly unsure what to do. I gave her a small smile but she only frowned.

“You were crying.” It sounded more like a question and when she raised an eyebrow at me I almost told her everything.

“You know what’s even worse?” I didn’t deny it. “It’s my birthday.” I let out a laugh trying to make an awkward situation better but I don’t think it had the effect I wanted it to. Her eyes widened and she took a step over to me. She put a hand out as if she was going to reach for my shoulder and I gave her a tiny nod before she placed an arm around me.

“Where’s Cedric? I’ll go get him, yeah?” I knew she meant well but that only made me start crying again and I think she realised that he was the reason I was crying and so she pulled me closer towards her. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled and the conversation ended. She started stroking my back and when I calmed down she let out a deep breath before continuing.

“You’re so young,” she mumbled, “this is only going to be a small part of your life, yeah? Enjoy your birthday.” I gave her a tight lipped smile and pulled away from her.

“Thank you,” I looked at her, “I really appreciate it.” She smiled at me and I wiped my eyes before I walked out of the bathroom.

I was going to enjoy my birthday whether a certain someone was here or not.

I had a few more drinks, suddenly not caring anymore whether or not I remembered this night.

I was near tears when everyone sang happy birthday. My eyes were glued to the door no matter how badly I wanted to look away.

I was surrounded by the people I loved yet I felt so alone and upset. I sighed when I blew out the candles. There was only one wish on my mind.

I was on my second slice of cake when one of my friends sat down next to me.

“It’s your birthday,” they slurred, “it’s supposed to be fun.” I mustered up my most convincing smile.

“I am having fun.” I wasn’t.

He should have been here.

I’m pretty sure everyone else was thinking the same thing but they were polite enough not to bring it up.

I’m pretty sure my friend was thinking the same thing, but they didn’t say either. They picked up a spoon and took a bite of my cake. We sat there, not talking, just enjoying the cake. It was saying a lot that this was the best part of my night.

I was sure everyone gave me an extra longer hug when they left and the pats on my back felt more sympathetic than celebratory but I tried not to linger on it.

That night I went to my bedroom and got into my comfiest pyjamas. There was an owl at my window when I hopped into bed and I already knew who it was from.

It was rolled up and for a moment I contemplated just ripping it to shreds without even reading it and when I opened it I wished I had.

I’m sorry I didn’t show,

Cedric xx

That was it?

I gave the owl a treat and ripped the note in half and in half again and in half again until I was sure that it could never be put back together. I was feeling a similar way. I started crying. I guess it’s not really a birthday if you don’t cry, right? I threw the crumpled paper in my bin and sat on my bedroom floor.

For a brief moment I wondered if it was my fault. It seemed all of the stupid fights we had been having had arose as a result of me, and maybe this one was the same. I wondered what it was. Whether it would appear too childish for Cedric to appear at a birthday party, or whether I would be too clingy throughout the night.

If it wasn’t for the amount of alcohol I had consumed I was sure I wouldn’t have gotten an ounce of sleep. But I woke up the next morning as well rested as I could have been and I got ready and apparated to Cedric’s house immediately.

I wasn’t sure what I planned on doing. I wanted to remember all of the good times Cedric and I had but they seemed so far away. Oddly enough they were before the first time we had sex which I only agreed to in hopes that things would get better.

I felt helpless. I wanted to go back to those picture perfect days, but I knew that there was nothing I could do to get back there. But I guess I hoped that we could work from where we currently were and get somewhere even better.

The Reeling

Standing in front of Cedric’s door I realised that this was a horrible idea. Surely Cedric and I could just go past this and maybe even just pretend it didn’t happen.

Part of me was scared that the reason he didn’t show up was because of something I’d done. For some reason I thought that maybe if I proved that I was willing to fight for our relationship, we’d unlock a new part of our relationship. Like when we finally had sex. Except this time it would unlock something even better.

I knocked on the door and let out a shaky breath.

He opened it almost instantly and he gave me a nervous smile. I let myself in and he shut the door behind me.

“Did you have fun last night, darling?” I turned back to face him and stared at him dumbly.

“You didn’t come.” I responded and he let out a sigh and walked over to me, grabbing my hand in his.

“I’m so sorry, darling.” He only rarely called me darling and I suddenly hated the way it sounded in his mouth. “I was just upset about not making it to finals and-” I took a step back from him.

“You should’ve been there.” He looked down and I sniffled when I felt the tears start to fall down my cheeks.

“I should have.” We stayed like that for a moment. My hands in his. Tears streaming down my face while he continued to stare at our hands. I thought I would be the one who would have trouble with this. I really wanted him to just look at me.

“Darling,” he paused, “I think we should break up.” My whole body went hot.

“No,” I mumbled, trying to pretend that I didn’t hear what I thought I did. How did we get here? I came here so we could make up, not to break up.

“Yes,” he replied, almost pleading with me.

“I can get over you not coming to my birthday.” I was begging and I hated myself for it. The tears had stopped but I would much rather them than whatever this was.

“It’s not about that.”

“Then what is it?” He took a deep breath as if it pained him to say this but I was sure that I was in much more pain. “I’ll do anything, just name it, I’ll do anything for you. We can make it work.” The worst part was that I meant it.

“Don’t say that,” he sighed.

“It’s true. I’m not angry,” I sobbed, “I can’t let you go.”

“You have to.” I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw my body on the floor or hit something. I already felt like a fool but I was ready to make myself look even worse and throw a tantrum right there and then.

“We’re just not going to work out.” He gave me an apologetic look, but it only made me mad.

“Why?” He blinked at me, his eyes saying that he hated me for making him say it.

“Look,” he went to reach out for me again but I pulled away, “maybe if we were closer in age, I just-” I let out a dry laugh cutting him off and felt the tears start up again. I was no longer sad. I was angry now. I had given so much of myself to Cedric and it was all for nothing. All for him to just throw it all back in my face.

“You said I was mature for my age.” I hated that I felt the need to defend myself. I was embarrassed. What a horrible thing to say. I wanted the world to swallow me up and forget that Cedric Diggory was ever an important person in my life.

“You were-you are,” he corrected himself, “but you’re still so young and-”

“But we had sex.” He gave me a look that said I was only proving his point and I wanted nothing more than to shrink into the ground beneath me.

“I’m sorry.”

“So you’re just going to throw away everything we worked towards?” He put a hand on my shoulder but I only stood there, frozen in place, not knowing what my life had just turned into.

I shoved it off and started walking to his door.

“Hang on,” he followed me, “wait.” But I didn’t. I walked out his door and slammed it behind me. I thought he was being selfish. That he was taking the easy route. He was being childish, real adults would have talked it out, but he just ran away from his issues.

I felt helpless. I wondered if I had done things differently if we’d still be together. Maybe if I didn’t make such a big deal about having sex he wouldn’t have thought I was childish. Maybe if I was more confident when we were out with his friends he wouldn’t have thought I was so clingy. Maybe we still would’ve been together.

The Remembering

I apparated straight home and went right into my bedroom. I shut the door behind me and contemplated falling against it dramatically, but it felt more right to go jump on my bed and so I did that. The tears didn’t stop and I didn’t leave my room until the next morning.

I felt so used. I was right when I was upset in the bathroom on my birthday. I was a different person and while I knew eventually this change would come, I felt that it had been forced to come early by my relationship with Cedric and it made me feel dirty. I wanted to shower to get rid of it but that didn’t help. I wanted to go on a walk to get my mind off of it but that didn’t work either. I tried to eat to cleanse my body from it but it seemed that I was stuck with this change. I was never going to get back the person that I was before him.

I didn’t realise how much I had been relying on him until I didn’t have him. I suddenly felt like a child again. Not knowing how to make my own decisions, forever unsure about what I was doing and feeling so lost and alone.

It seemed that everyone knew that our relationship had ended and I was happy because I didn’t have to tell them. I wasn’t happy, however, that they found out by a tabloid headline barely a week after Cedric had broken up with me. He was out with a model, only a year older than me, a hand on her lower back and her face close to his chest and I decided to rip that up into pieces as well.

It felt so surreal that at times I thought that I would see Cedric again until I remembered what had happened and I was enveloped by a sinking feeling. It was a self made hell everytime I remembered what had happened and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to think about him again without feeling this way.

I was also stuck remembering all of the good times and conveniently forgetting the bad. I’d remember when we used to go out and he’d pay for dinner. Or when it was just the two of us at his house and he’d make me my favourite foods, dancing in his kitchen while we waited for it to cook. And when it was just us in bed and he’d trace patterns on my back and make me guess what he was drawing.

And I would sob even harder because I wanted to go back to those times.

But then I’d remember how he wouldn’t speak to me once the paparazzi found out where we were. Or when we would scream and fight in the kitchen and I’d be sick from it. And when I’d spend the night and we’d be on the edge of each side of the bed, our backs facing the other, refusing to be the first one to speak.

I self indulgently let myself cry and cry and cry some more for at least a week until my parents called my friends for support. Time went so slowly feeling sorry for yourself in your bedroom, that I was shocked to hear that it had been a week when my friends told me I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself.

A month later there was a charity Quidditch game that I was watching with my dad. He went to turn it off as soon as the familiar head of golden curls appeared on screen for an interview but I stopped him before he could.

“Is it true that you’ve broken up?” They were quick to mention my name as soon as the niceties were taken care of.

Just the sight of him made my heart ache. All of the memories came flooding back, the good and the bad and remembering them together felt like I was in a whole new hell.

Cedric stared at the reporter dumbfounded until he suddenly found his voice. “The match tonight is for a very important cause and I think we should focus on that.”

“People are saying that you took advantage of her because of her age, what do you say about that?” I snorted at the question.

“I think people should focus on the match tonight and the important cause it is for.” He let out an awkward chuckle but the reporter was relentless.

“Do you miss her?” Cedric shook his head and must have looked over to his manager before he was pulled away from the screen.

I felt happy that I was still affecting his life a month after our relationship because he was still affecting mine but I was sad that he didn’t seem phased by it. I was sure that if I was asked in an interview about Cedric I would start crying immediately. But then again, I was the one who was broken up with.

I still wondered if I had done things differently if I’d still have him in my life. It was a sour taste. I had spent so much time with those thoughts that I was starting to get sick of them, but the more time I spent on them, the more things I remembered that made me wonder if he would have stayed if I had done them differently.

During the match I realised that he still had my fucking scarf. The one that I had spent my hard earned money on only to wear one time. I wondered if he knew he had it. I was sure he did. I kinda hoped he did. I hoped he kept it as a reminder of me. I wanted so desperately to forget him, but I didn’t want him to forget me and I didn’t think that was asking too much.

Thirteen Years Gone

I continued to feel foolish. I remembered the first time we went out, the first time I came back to his house. Everything just seemed to fit into place and I had naively imagined a life of marriage and children. Probably little quidditch players who were just as bright as their father. At least I could laugh at it now. I was only just a child myself.

It took months before I could go about my day without him crossing my mind and it took years and plenty of relationships until I realised what they were truly meant to be like.

I mourned the loss of our picture perfect beginnings, the way he always made me feel safe and at home. The way he used to hold me at night after I had given myself to him over and over again.

It took months before I could even go back to Diagon Alley without thinking of him. And even now, when I walked past, it was more that I was able to push aside the thought of him rather than completely disregard him.

I thought that as time went on I would forget about it. That I would forget about him. And sure, I distracted myself and I eventually thought about him less and less, but my memories were as vivid as ever. The way he would look at me, his eyes crinkled, a piece of his hair covering his forehead, as if I was the only thing that mattered in his world. The way he would hold onto my hips when we hugged, his fingers drumming into the flesh of my side as I buried my face in his chest, thinking that I could stay there for eternity. But now they were all scars that I wore that changed the way I lived and thought, and even though it eventually got easier to forget him, I never forgot them.

#cedric diggory #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory blurb #cedric diggory angst #harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter blurb #harry potter angst #cd #cdi #cda

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dmercer91 · 9 months

Note

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS FOR THE HOOKED AU (to the poitn that this is getting typed in my notes app🫣)

- her hitting jack in games is so funny to me. i jsut imagine her managing to slam him into the boards and he looks at nico after like “she could’ve done it harder, maybe she likes me🥰”

- her draft?? if she’s the same age as jack, maybe he was a little shit when she got drafted- but not too mean because i feel like he’d also respect her because of queen ellen so idk

- “i adopted the sad one” please it takes on introduction and quinn is like “she’s perfect for you jack- she bullies you too🫂”

- ….i’m very interested in her “collection” those interactions seem so funny to me

- the nyrangers admin😭

- PEOPLES REACTION TO THE ALL STAR WEEKEND- i just imagine a commentator losing his absolute shit

- “i also called you a felon” made me giggle

- her meeting luke. it’s not a want, it’s a need (he comes on for a game and she’s like “bestfriend🥰” and jacks all pouty?)

- HER DEBUTTT (it’s not a want, but it’s another need)

- them playing on the same team

…i apologize if this is a lot…oopsie🧍🏼‍♀️

I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU

this… also got very long, 😃 but i hope it inspires more asks

- she’s a very physical player considering the main (the only reason i’ve seen that’s not entirely misogyny) reason women don’t become nhlers is the lack of hitting in women’s leagues and she wants to prove that she can be useful in that aspect of the game

the first time she hits jack he is not expecting it and the hits are consistent until they get to know each other and then she pulls a tiny bit

he’s blushing and kicking his feet and whatever and nico is like you’re fucking delusional kid

- she’s either drafted in 2019, 2020, or 2021

if she’s drafted in 2019, she initially sticks to cole like literal glue and that’s how she meets jack, who of course embarrasses the shit out of himself drunk and says something that happened to be a deep rooted insecurity of hers. she gets over it and during the summer she makes plans with cole again and jacks there, and this time he can handle his alcohol a little better and makes a better impression - when they start hooking up he remembers the night and feels like an ASS cause he now realizes why she avoided him like the plague

for 2020, it’s dawson she meets first, which makes a lot of sense with his role in the au. she becomes really attached to him in a permanent way and the first time they play each other he invites her out. a lot of the devils are confused and he’s like she’s cool i promise!! her on ice persona proves to be strictly for on ice shenanigans and a lot of them kind of feel bad as she’s definitely gotten some backlash for being a girl in the nhl. she’s getting advice from nico and she’s kinda tucked into dawson cause he’s her comfort person when jack comes up and also embarrasses himself cause he falls face first tripping over himself when he sees her out of her gear for the first time

if she’s drafted in 2021, jacks watching the live draft with luke and just as everything’s calming down with the excitement of luke going to the devils, the rangers announce that they’ve chosen you. they play a clip from your women’s league and from what he can see your game and energy is very similar to trevor’s (he hates it) and then later that night he sees the clip of you going around celebrating being the first woman drafted to the nhl and he goes back on that thought and cyber stalks you until your first time playing nj in which he meets you at the blue line for warmups and flirts so badly

- when quinn meets her in the media edit her and jack are already hooking up, and quinn doesn’t really piece that together cause she does a really good job at making fun of jack and avoiding his flirting

but jack?? is so obvious abt it

quinn’s convinced his little brother is getting off to her highlight reels

he only brings it up once she’s gone and he’s basically like ‘ur as red as your jersey and it’s pathetic but that whole ordeal was cute i guess. she’d fix you up,’

- her main adoptees (for some she is their adoptee, but i digress) are quinn, luke, dawson cole, nico, seamus and trevor

quinn is like that one friend who will egg on any and all bad decisions because he feels like she’s the only person who will know when to stop herself and that his stupidity will both be understood but not taken too far

‘should i tell igor i’m pregnant’ ‘fuck yes’

luke is like her little brother, they make fun of each other but they also want what’s best for each other and they will both fight for one another,

he is both pro y/n and anti y/n and loud about both simultaneously

dawson is one of her best friends in the world, the first time they connect for a goal once she’s a devil he jumps on her and they fall to the ice and squeeze each other for like a century

he’s like her comfort person and he’s one of the only people that she feels ok just going up to and like.. attack hugging when she’s upset

she is most often found standing under his arm and she’s always stealing ryleigh

cole is her #1 facetime buddy. he’s always on the phone while she’s like doing her hair or something. she has an automatic curling iron and he thinks it’s magic

he’s always her partner for chicken fight at the lake house cause ‘it’s harder to make short legs fall over’

very movie esque ‘duo that’s friends and nobody knows why cause they are so mean to each other’ vibes

nico is another one of her safe people cause after they were introduced in her first season she started going to him when she needed advice

he probably wasn’t the person to ask cause he wasn’t even all that experienced either at that time but regardless of if she took his advice she always felt like he understood

he likes to say that she trained him for his captaincy

he is protective as hell when it comes to her, too and he’s loud about it

seamus is her son. even while she’s a ranger. that is her son. she reaches out to him over instagram and is like how does moyle feel abt sharing?? cause i’m adopting you right now

she doesn’t know why

he doesn’t know why

he’s not complaining

that’s his mom now

she will absolutely never admit it but a lot of her game is based off trevor (as well as mm16) he’s very high energy and every time she saw him do something that had literally no place in an nhl game she was like heart eyed

if we think she was drafted with luke then she definitely had a FAT crush on him when he was on the u17 team

she can’t stand him (affectionate) now that she knows him better but he still inspires her a lot and all of the attention he gets for his style drives her even more

- rangers admin LOVES her cause she’s always on tiktok and she’s like ‘if u do this it’ll get views’

- twitter was in a FRENZY during the asg and the whole all star weekend

since it’s in toronto in 23-24 i can so see her trying to make an impression on mitch cause she wants to talk hockey with him so bad and i’m gonna assume austons there too so jack is butthurt that she’s hanging out with him and at some point he plops next to her on the bench and is like ‘we’re gonna get a goal together and we should plan a celly’

she’s opposed until he’s like ‘fine i’ll just pick you up and make you celly with me then’ and she gives in

(give me ideas for the celly)

but whatever it is they choose to do has people going fucking INSANE on twitter and tiktok and then the next four points they get together they just start making it more and more elaborate and at the last one (y/n goal, jack primary a) he just slides onto his knees and grabs her legs while she’s essentially t posing and yelling

they absolutely have the most energy out of anyone there (i don’t really remember the asg so i don’t even remember if the players even celly?? but i mean 5 pts warrants a scream celly even if it’s a scrimmage)

jack wouldn’t normally be like that for an asg but he’s LOVING the fact that almost all cellys include a hug

she views the all star weekend as one of her favourite nights and weekends off all time cause it’s one of the only times that all of the love she was getting and the love for her and jack overpowered all of the misogynistic keyboard warriors that hate women whining on socials and she had a completely positive weekend where all of her teammates were actually supportive and she felt wanted

commentators DO lose their shit over the two of them having such good chemistry and because commentating in the nhl is so bad i can assume that the words ‘a devil and a ranger’ were said about 28392748374 times that night alone

i want to say she gets mvp for the weekend but knowing the nhl it would be jack

he does not shut up about her during his interviews he’s like ‘she deserves this just as much or more than i do’ and then MORE people go insane cause jack ‘i didn’t know there was a town in new jersey’ hughes is eloquently complementing a teammate during a SCRUM

- she was genuinely so confused writing that comment cause at this point she’d called him j many times 😭 i think he was shocked she said it publicly but that’s all she could bring herself to reply

- assuming her first game in the nhl was before his they would probably meet in the 22-23 playoffs while luke was still in the press box

jack already had a HUGE crush on her and when she meets luke in the parking lot, walking with dawson she’s like !!!!!!! luke !!!!!!!

he’s with jack and jacks kinda thinking to himself like ‘she’s never like !!!!!! jack !!!!!!!!’ and dawson, being dawson invites them for beers at her place and she gets really close with luke that night

they’re giggling like they’re telling each other secrets and dawson is like ‘dude grow a pair and go fucking talk to her’

the next day luke’s texting her on the couch and she’s calling him moosey and her contact name is very incriminating and jacks a GROCUH for the rest of the day

- rangers debut? or devs debut? both??? i’ll do both

her debut with the rangers is so awkward because obviously she was chosen and signed because she’s skilled and deserves her spot

but a lot of them just do not like her

it’s the biggest reason she requested her trade

the only friend she felt that didn’t secretly just hate her guts for existing was igor, who obviously couldn’t help her case much seeing as he’s stuck in the net

during her very first game she was on the third line and her line mates were trying their very best to keep the puck from her cause they didn’t trust her with it

during the third period they’re down by two and she just takes the puck and leaves with it while her centre is obviously trying to set up a play that she was not meant to be a part of

she goes for the five hole and pots it and they don’t even really celly with her other than going behind her to shake hands with the bench

this fixes nothing and they still don’t want her with the puck so the coach moves her up a line and there’s much better chemistry and cooperation despite them still not being her biggest fan

igor gets it to her for a breakaway and she goes bar down with him as the only assist

this is mostly because the other team is also really underestimating her and they feel like they don’t really need to be on her

they’re covering her line mates cause they’re assuming she’ll pass and set up the play especially since her pass was from the goalie

the game goes to a shootout and after the other team misses their third shot the coach just kinda looks at the bench and calls her name

she’s shocked and the arena is dead quiet when she goes out on the ice

like pin drop quiet

she wins them the game and pretty much tells them that if they underestimate her again she’ll just let them lose and that she was signed for a reason and they need to grow tf up

her devs debut goes much more smoothly. it’s definitely a little harder for her to score at this point cause the other teams aren’t underestimating her as much

however the tension with her and jack is at an all time high after that text conversation

the first point she scores is a goal and jack isn’t an assist, it’s bratter and johnny

during the celly she smiles at him cause she feels different than her rangers debut - she feels different with the team and she feels like they actually love her and want her around

he wants so badly to make it up to her for everything he said in his messages and all he can think to do right in that moment is to hold the back of her helmet and knock his visor against hers a little

halfway through the period things between them are going so much better and the chemistry is very much there

she assists on his goal and they recreate the celly from the all star game and then she screams in his face out of pure excitement

he’s smiling at her like she created the world and people go nuts for that whole thing

a little bit into the second period is her wonderwall concert

her and dawson are belting with each other and there’s a gifset that goes around of the two of them singing that pans to jack being all heart eyed for her

the next shift she gets another goal, this one assisted by him and luke and the vibes are absolutely immaculate

during the very same shift luke scores, assisted by her and jack and she jumps onto luke like a proud older sister and shakes jacks shoulders all excitedly

in the final period she scores her last goal to complete the hattrick, assisted solely by jack

that’s when she jumps into his arms and he kinda spins around with her and squeezes her tight so her skates come off the ice a little

dawsons on the ice for this one cause it was mid shift change and he fake gags at them

she sticks her tongue out at him and when he joins the hug jack slides down to his knees and hugs her legs like he did at the asg

dawson screams ‘you two are fucking disgusting’ at the top of his lungs and she throws her head back and laughs

the post game celly includes a lot of beer and a shot for every one of her points (it was a long night) (there was a lot of making out) (and a lot of dawson, luke and johnny being grossed out) (and a lot of nico being a proud dad)

- them being on the same team is so good for everyone involved

chemistry?? off the charts

when they lose?? hugs on the bench

when they win??? jittery hugs on the bench

during the playoffs?? anxious hugs on the bench

being eliminated? you guessed it,

she’s a safe space for a lot of the team cause she gets it but it’s different? if that makes sense

they don’t usually rely on each other for emotional support hugs but with her they feel like that’s normal

in conclusion i love her

#hooked au!#(maybe)#jack hughes #new jersey devils

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moth---4 · 4 months

Text

Commision Info! [updated 1/12/2024]

See bottom of post for additional refrences!

○Commisions are ALWAYS open and I almost always have same day (24hr) delivery! I post my sfw art on tumblr and my nsfw art in an 18+ furry art site called e621. You can reach out to me through tumblr messages, discord, e6 messages, and telegram. Please read terms of use at bottom.

Tumblr: moth---4

Discord: oopsie-gay

Telegram: @oopsiethatsgay

E621: oopsie-gay

Prices are generally SET but there may be slight increases for very complex designs or scenes though this is rare.

I offer quite a large variety of things but if its not on the list please do not ask. The list is made for both your and my convenience.

○Fullbody- 65 (+30 for additional character #1, + 65 for ever character after)

○Halfbody-45 (+20 for additional characters)

○Icon-15 (no additional characters, intended for profile picture)

These are fully rendered (shaded) and have additional details to polish them.

These include a simple pattern or solid color background (like a pride flag or sunset)

Backgrounds can be added but they can vary wildly in price depending on what youd like. Example 1, a character at a cafe, with full veiw of desert display case and tables, +40-50. Example 2, a character on a couch, nothing but the back wall and a sliver of a coffee table, +20

Reference sheets are another can of worms! These can take much longer than regular commisions given the time and attention to detail needed sometimes.

○Furry Ref 80 Includes 2 veiws, front and back, along with a small pelt display generally used if clothes or pose is obstructing design, and both hand and feet paws, mouth, and eyes, and wings shown seperately if needed . Aside from that colors and name will be displayed.

○Big Pony Ref ((mare BASE only)) 65 (Includes 4 veiws of the pony and some additional boxes to showcase expressions. The cutie mark and colors will be displayed)

○Small Pony Ref 20 Any screenshot from the mlp show edited to fit your pony! Will NOT include background just your guy!

Telegram stickers are a new addition to my commision list! They come in PACKS and can not be bought individually. To clarify, these are emoji like stickers used in the messaging app Telegram and are NOT physically printed or intended to be printed.

○3 pack 20

○5 pack 25

○10 pack 35

Customs are CURRENTLY CLOSED but Ill keep the info up. They have one (1!) veiw with colors and are not as polished as my regular art. They are NOT shaded so that the design can have accurate colors showcased. Just because they are not polished does not mean low effort.

○Pony- 25

○Pony-(ON BASE) 25

○Furry- 70

(Sexual content warning ahead, purely to list what Im okay with drawing NO VISUALS) Scroll to the "🌟" to skip to Terms of use

YEAH OKAYS!

Sexual art (I have an e6 for a reason lol)

Nudity in any capacity

Blood

MILD gore

Marijuana usage

(For full list of spicy content thats allowed just dm!)

NO THANK YOUS!

Mecha

Human (including humanoids like anime cat girls)

Foot fetish

Pregnancy

Scat, pee, or barf

Vore

Age play

Fat fetish (normal overweight characters welcome! Just no fetish art)

🌟🌟🌟

Thank you for reading!! The TOS is next Id appreciate if you looked at that as well before messaging me

☆Terms of Service☆

My art can and will be posted wherever I please though I will not take credit for your character. You may use my art for profile pictures, backgrounds or PERSONAL use with credit. My art may NOT be used for anything commercial including youtube videos in any capacity, twitch stream layouts, subscriber, donation or sub alerts. You may not print, sell, or produce any merchandise with my art regardless of if its intended for personal use.

You can post the artwork anywhere or use it on your profile as long as there is CLEAR and OBVIOUS credit to me with a link of some kind. You canot use the art for profit, that includes prints, merchandise or use in videos or games in any capacity. You may not edit the work or remove the watermark.

No refunds! Due to my fast work pace and 24 hour turnaround, refunds are not an option as I would lose money and time on my work. If you are unsure of my limits, being fetishes or anything else please just ask. It will save alot of trouble to just be open and communicate. If clear communication is not recived, and the art is not up to your standards because of it, that is on you. I will always sends work in progress things and you must request changes when I give opportunities.

A small fee will be put in place for changes.

And one final word, I can and WILL take legal action if you attemt to profit from my work. Please understand this is my livelyhood and primary source of income.

Thank you for considering me for commisions! I really appreciate all of you that make my dream job possible

#digital art #art #mlp #oc #mlp art #mlp oc #pony oc #character design #furry art #furry oc #commisions open #commision #art commisions #reference sheet

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biteghost · 11 months

Text

State of Affairs: oh, it's not good. Bad, in fact!

listening music (lol)

Greetings, all! I apologize for not much communication, art or comics this month, but things were a bit out of my control! I'll cut right to the point: I had a big oopsie at the start of May, and the situation overall has not gotten much better since then.

Here's the scoop as plain as I can explain it: I dropped my external hard drive, and it no longer connected to my computer. My computer has a very tiny amount of memory (the OS capacity is less than 120GB), so I have used an external hard drive as the brain of my computer for years now. I have no back-ups either on another hard drive, older computer, or cloud service.

This external hard drive housed everything I have created and brought with me between computers since 2013. It stored all my art. All of it. My comic pages, my working files, my works-in-progress, my commission pieces, as well as gifts from friends and other artists. It had all the sessions of my at-home tabletop game 'Blueshift', which is a pretty big hit for me as I had only just finished the game. I didn't even have time to be happy the game was finished until I had to mourn a loss of it I had not anticipated.

I sent the hard drive to a data recovery company with good reviews. It had nearly 2TB of data on it, and I tried very hard not to get my hopes up that they'd be able to retrieve most of my data. Despite this, I still was disappointed by what they sent back.

To be blunt: they did not retrieve most of my data. In fact, I'd say in total they only recovered about 40%, if I am being generous. They were unable to recover any of my in-development projects (A Cure for Athanasia, Super Manifest: Steward Cycle, The Tenth, The Sword of Hours, etc), and unfortunately BACKLASH didn't make it out unscathed either. Old art files that I one day wanted to make Prints off have been lost, as well as small doodles and secret sketches which never made it online.

While reviewing the files that they managed to recover, I also noticed that whole chunks of BACKLASH's working page files have been lost or corrupted. This isn't a huge setback for the comic itself since all of BACKLASH is online to read. But it is hard and heartbreaking for me, because despite everything I did one day want to make a printed edition of BACKLASH. I wanted to hold my comic in my hands.

That dream is not impossible, but it is now much further away. I can recreate my old pages with what I currently have, but it will be a lot of extra work, and there is no getting around that.

Losing this much of my history, artistic journey, relationships and formative time as an artist has been really hard on me, emotionally and mentally. I'm very sad. It's hard to draw right now for myself. Commission work comes easily, since I am given a prompt to draw for someone else, but creative ideas are not flowing for me at the moment. My hands are frozen and dejected.

I am now waiting to get back the files that the data recovery people managed to retrieve for me (probably by tomorrow, they said), and I am looking into other places in order to get a second opinion of sorts. At this point there really is no harm in trying, and maybe a different operation might have better luck. Who knows? It may be grasping at straws, but at this point things can't get any worse than this.

When I get my data back I'll be able to finish up BACKLASH chapter 7. I want to finish it off - there are not very many pages left, and miraculously the few remaining pages are among the ones that were recovered! So that's good. I will be finishing up the chapter, and afterward BACKLASH will be taking a bit of a break. I don't know how long the hiatus will last, and I won't be making any kind of estimate. It'll take as long as I need until I feel I can put one foot in front of the other again. Maybe I'll work on something else for a while, maybe I won't draw anything. Who knows! I don't, haha.

Eventually I'll be okay, and I'll get back on the horse. Even in the midst of all this turmoil I really just want to be making comics ;_;

Until then, I just need some time. It's the only cure for this kind of problem, I think. So, I thank you for your patience, and I thank you for the love you've shown me, my work, and my characters. I couldn't be where I am and I couldn't have made all the work I have without your support and love. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I'll see you when I get back! Much love and many kisses, xoxo 💖💖💖

(cross-posted from patreon)

#state of affairs #not art #long post #UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGH #RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHH #BRR:URUUURHHHGHGUURHHGNNGH #HRNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG #UGH.#i didn't really proofread this so if it's bad or rambly sorry but also ughghhghhsklgajdl;kgLKSgjlsdgjdlkj

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no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist · 7 months

Text

fhh spoilers

Sorry about your boyfriend. We edited his genes. yeah before he was born. Yeah we made him forget you. oopsie. now he's gonna come fight you lol. Yeah he does remember getting popcorn with you when you were little outside of a cinema in Paris. Oh you don't remember that? lol. oh but yeah sorry about his headaches that's kind of a defect. might kill him. maybe kiss him or something idk lol. oh yeah sorry but we're gonna stab him now. you thought it was over? lmao.

Sorry about your boyfriend. Yeah he's gonna give himself up for you now. Yeah ik he really shouldn't just like take responsibility for everyone around him like that lol. But we're gonna drain his blood now. Yeah sorry we kinda need it. For science fair lol. also he's kind of a commie so like. you can't have him. oh? you are too. slay ig. you guys should probably communicate tho that might help.

Sorry about your boyfriend. oh he's not your boyfriend? oh my god whatever. but yeah you should probably talk to him. no? ok. yeah he's gonna do something crazy now. yeah i kind of let him start listening to the arctic monkeys. ik it's super funny because he has a british accent when he speaks english so- oh. he thinks your alias is hot? bro. i don't even know what to say to that. bro. maybe you could try communicat- oh he put you in jail. uh yeah sorry about your boyf- oh he let you out? and you hit him? you're going to do it again at a later date y'know what I think I done here- oh he's still not your boyfriend? bro i am so tired just kiss or whatever sory about your boyfr-

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sunenjoyswriting · 1 month

Text

Emu Otori with an Idia Shroud-like reader

Writers note: Complimentary writing to my Idia Shroud with an Emu Otori-like reader headcanons :3 And actually this is closer to a fic with headcanons format then headcanons,, might make an actual fic version, just maybe :3

Warnings: None, I think! But this could be read as fem!reader because I made reader go to miyagirls (idk how else to make you two meet)? But at the same time I do use gender neutral pronouns when referring to the reader so yeah…

Edit: Oopsies forgot the tag… affiliated with @virtualbookstore ! !

- Enemies to friends except it’s a one-sided enemy thing and the other side has always believed you two were friends and that you were just “shy”.

- She tries to talk with you during lunch, but you tend to just make some excuse for going away to somewhere less near her… No worries, Emu will find a way to counter your shyness!

- Meanwhile, you don’t like her. Hate her, even… how could someone be so extroverted!? It’s so… ): when she tries to talk with you! Too much energy… (I feel like this is cringey but also I felt a need to establish this,,,)

- … So everything was horrible (to you) when she somehow managed to get the teacher to pair you two up for a project before you could make an excuse to do it alone. She believes this could make you two great friends, and you feel like your luck has sank down to Minori levels.

- Doing the project with Emu “ADHD” Otori (inserting my headcanon for Emu here hehehehehheh….) was. Something!

- It was a pretty simple thing to do (well, to you at least) — build a robot (or just machine I suppose) to fix a problem. But her hyperactiveness… was something to have to deal with…!

- But it was just maybe a tiny bit nice to see her having so much fun… oh, fuck, is this what feeling any sort of emotion other than disgust for an extrovert is like…!?

- Yeah you may or may not have managed to just maybe want to be friends with her while doing this with her,,

- She, on the other hand, was constantly talking with you about ideas for the little machine thing, explaining how great it will be, etc.

- She definitely believed at the end of the project you two had became the best of friend ever!! (… that sentiment was something you still did not believe in. Too much too quickly…)

- But perhaps her bothering you during lunch time wasn’t the worst thing ever…

- More simple headcanons time :3

- She talks to people for you. (Yes, this is supposed to be mirroring one of the headcanons in the Idia x Emu-like reader post.)

- She loves watching you play games and having you explain the strategies you use to her!! Just like Nene :D

- … Did she buy that top notch gaming pc that just got delivered to your door for you? Maybe :3 (Yes she did.)

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#writing blog #headcannons #headcanon #is it spelt headcannon or headcanon?#pjsk #emu otori x reader #emu otori #otori emu #pjsk x reader #project sekai x reader

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pyro-madder · 22 days

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bb thoughts and headcanons : second batch, for djura's clique and then some. because i don't think any of them were powder kegs actually, or rather...

1) Unless this is translation shenanigans, we are only told Djura was "known through his contact with" the late Kegs, and if he was the last of them perhaps the game would have insisted on it just a bit more ?? Regardless, my take is that he was training under them, but Old Yharnam happened before he could earn the title in full. oopsie

2) Now for his 3 companions, in the order in which I think he met them :

Jozef : first of all, the reason I go for him for the alleged third companion is that I would much, much rather use an already existing NPC (especially an obscure one I can develop) than make up a new guy from scratch, and the charred set alone makes him our best lead, even with everything else I will discuss below.

So - he's a variant of hostile "Izzy's Admirer" hunters, all wearing the charred set and wielding the beastclaw... BUUUT considering it's on another beastclaw user that you loot the badge for Oto's workshop - the Kegs' predecessors - I suppose Oto and Izzy were collaborating to an extent ? With Archibald as well, considering both he and Izzy worked on DarkBeast material... unless, on the opposite, that made them rivals... but I'm straying here --

Headcanoning that Oto lived to see his workshop become the Kegs and that the latter respected him greatly - Djura included - it makes it possible to be a follower of both Izzy and the Kegs. However Jozef may wear the charred set, but he doesn't use any firearms, so he probably wasn't a Keg at all. However² nothing specified Djura's companions had to be Kegs, and were rather more likely followers of his philosophy. So my Jozef ends up a bit of a swiss army knife - an early Church recruit to serve with Loran's tomb prospectors, a hunter partaking in Izzy's experiments with beasthood, a friend to Oto and the Kegs, not much older than Djura, present for Old Yharnam but ultimately Taken By The Dungeons.

Djura's disciple, henceforth Ysle (old english for "ash", or so i've read) : I fully believe him sharing facedata with Simon was devs laziness, and I don't blame them for it - Simon has half his face hidden the entire time you know him and Ysle is not only hooded, but also not exactly easy to look at up close in-game. I joked about them being twins, but then thought it could actually work and went with it. Ysle would've started off as a Harrowed alongside Simon, and the two would not hesitate to "switch" to trick others and gain further information on the job. At some point Ysle would take interest in the Kegs' craftsmanship, but would only join Djura after the burning, both for said craftsmanship and ideology : I like the theory that it was the Church that poisoned Old Y to begin with to popularize ministration, and who better suited than Simon to find that out... he'd relay the discovery to Ysle and both would turn against the Church, even apart.

I was convinced Simon was not already dead in the Nightmare due to his opening lines to the player ("must've taken a wrong turn somewhere then // we're more alike than you think", to me it implies he came in deliberately rather than upon death). However I had come to the conclusion that those who end up in the nightmare/dream upon death don't age (Maria), unlike those who were brought in (Gehrman), but the twins' facedata makes them look young compared to Dju and most of all Brador whom I believe them to be contemporary of (edit 17/04 : the Bowblades's desc also reminds us that Simon was one of the first Church hunters)... either way, they were Taken By The Horrors roughly around the same period, but unlike Simon, Ysle eventually lost himself in his duty to protect the beasts and cannot be engaged with anymore.

Djura's ally, henceforth Brandr (old norse for "fire", or so i've read) : last one met, last one standing. My headcanons for him were built on two sources : Oodle's Must we burn it all which I absolutely recommend if you aren't put off by his ship with Dju, and the unused "Old Yharnam survivor" NPC whose dialogue I would've loved to hear in-game. So, Brandr - not a Keg, perhaps not a hunter at all before the burning happened, merely a local who's probably two steps removed from beasthood at all times, was stumbled upon by Djura once the latter returned to the scene of the crime and they struck a deal. fellas is it gay to remain by the side of a self-exiled man you know (participated in what) took everything from you

3) Still raking my brain over how the Kegs were branded heretics. I'd wager the Church conveniently blacklisted them after using them to do their dirty work, but on what account ? Of course they could have just made up anything, but they actually have groundwork here. I don't think it was protecting the beasts as I believe this was specific to Djura and a few others, not something that applied to the Kegs as a whole. Could it have been their connection to Izzy, whose weapon, filed under Church weapons in the Hunter's Dream storage box, is sealed within remote tombs and whose hunter tool deemed "forbidden" ? It's not too far-fetched to assume they and their followers also experimented with beast blood pellets, which are banned by the Church as well.

Let's compare with another craftsman... strangely enough, Tonitrus is listed under the (Hunter's) workshop weapons in the Dream's storage box , despite Archibald being explicitely stated to be part of the Church's workshop... Likely stationned in Yahar'gul, a secret faction of the Church, considering that's where you loot the thing to begin with, alongside many bolt papers dropped by the snatchers, and that you find a copy wielded by a Yahar'gul hunter. Right next to Old Yharnam too, with Paarl's arena considered within the latter. Despite his focus on electricity rather than bestiality, it sounds like Archibald might still have been on thin ice considering his title of "eccentric" and the fact his badge was crafted in secret.

The Beast Roar is cast by human vocal cords. The unused NPC tells us that in Old Yharnam's folklore, beast is the true form of man. The bestial hunter of Oto's workshop bears the same rune that Laurence was branded with in his pursuit of controlling beasthood... but was ultimately forbidden as well.

Perhaps the Church simply desired monopoly over research on beasthood...

a tl;dr (believe me, i needed it too) :

Oto : craftsman & hunter whose workshop would become the Powder Kegs, a rolemodel to Djura

Izzy : craftsperson, hunter and friend to Oto and the Kegs, who understood and explored the inherent beastly nature of man

Jozef : tomb prospector hunter, follower of Izzy and friend to Oto and the Kegs, a bit of a tutor to Djura

Djura : Keg in-training & hunter, understood the real nature of beasts and further connected the dots post-burning through each of his companions

Brandr : actual Old Yharnam local, believes in the inherent beastly nature of man, agreed to cooperate with Djura to defend what little remained

Ysle : hunter, former Harrowed, would have been a Keg in-training if the burning hadn't happened first, only Djura remained to teach him their skills

#headcanons #and theorish. sort of. but which part is which is not specified so good luck #please mind the 'and then some' by the time i finished the last paragraph i forgot who i was.#then i did a tldr and things were good again. yeet

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jarvesque · 1 year

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It's been almost a week since last episode aired and I find myself thinking a lot about The baron of bricks.

Because yeah,he was this campaign's evil capitalist (and also a dictator and a weapon dealer) but I can't help but feel so fucking sorry for him. He is not that different from Cinderella when you think about it(at least in intention).

Like Cinderella he was part of a story where no matter what he did a loved one would die (Cinderella always loses her mom, the baron Always loses his brothers) and due to his awareness of the nature of the neverafter he probably experienced his loss over and over again

And like Cinderella and various other characters he's trying to fight the system because he was dissatisfied with the story he was given and he's trying to get some agency back.

But apparently he can't, apparently the monster who took his family away is so fucking "important" that he's morally in the wrong for wanting to take revenge or change things.

How horrible and unfair is that?

Cinderella,Rosamund and Pinocchio get to go against the fairies who controlled their stories but he doesn't get to fight the wolf who killed his brothers?

Like yeah,the wolf is important but can we really blame him? And also why is the wolf so important? Because the authors said so and have given him meaning? But the authors are also those who took away Rosamund's agency and forced a bad moral on Pinocchio, so why would we listen to them this time?

I don't know if this rant makes sense to anyone who's not me but i just wanted to talk about this pig and the big feels i have about him

edit: this post was made before Brennan revealed that his plan was to create a neverending war, oopsie

#neverafter #neverafter spoilers #baron of bricks #cinderella #rosamund du prix #brennan lee mulligan #dimension 20

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seconds-not-decades · 2 years

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A Story Never More Woe {Five Hargreeves x Sparrow!Fem!Reader}

Summary: You were best friends with all the Sparrow Academy members and quite often they brought you into the Academy to hang out. One night, Sloane invites you as a guest of honor to their annual masquerade benefit gala honoring the Academy. You look forward to a night full of fanciful fun, but an accidental run in with a masked Umbrella Academy member just might make your evening a little more magical.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Sparrow!Fem!Reader

Author's Note: What do you get when you combine Romeo and Juliet, The Umbrella Academy, and a chance meeting with a handsome stranger at a masquerade ball? This. You get this. Five is aged up to eighteen, because we're all adults here. Also Klaus gives Mercutio vibes and Sparrow Ben gives Tybalt vibes, fight me otherwise. I went a bit overboard with this word count wise obviously. *Please note that I set this after Viktor's transition.*

Edit: We've made 180 NOTES!!! Thank you so much!

Word Count: 3261, oopsies.

Warnings: Cursing.

Requested By: N/A

Taglist: @shadowisbored, @m4nd0l0r, @magicalxdaydream, @superbreadsoul, @2pmlover, @madlixxxx, @wifeofcamillamacaulay, @inksplattersblog, and @omgsuperstarg {Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed}

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Romeo and Juliet {The Young Juliet, Dance Of The Knights, Juliet's Variation, Madrigal, and Tybalt Recognizes Romeo}

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*Edit below is mine, please give me credit if you use it*

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You couldn't believe it. A masquerade ball held by the Sparrow Academy! You had to reread the smooth, dark red invitation over twice to make sure you were reading things right. You never thought they would host such a formal event. In all honesty, you figured they were always too busy helping the city.

You first met them when your house was broken into and they swiftly came to the rescue like any good crime fighting superheroes. Out of gratitude, you invited them over for dinner. Well, more like they begged Sir Reginald to let them visit you, because they clung onto every bit of normalcy they could. And, to your shock, he allowed it. You instantly got along with them and from then on, became good friends. Though, you were closest with Sloane. You admired her sweet, dreamer personality.

You recognized her handwriting on the back of the invitation, wanting you to come to her room so she can help you get ready. She informed you that she had a dress and everything all ready for you.

You swept up your backpack, wondering what exactly she had planned for you as you quickly made your way to the Academy. You were relieved you didn't have to shelf out any of your old, awful prom dresses. None of them would probably look good enough for the event.

Then you wondered where everyone would go. The Academy was big, but was it that big?

You went around the back, going to Sloane's room tucked in the corner near a fire escape. You saw her silhouette hustling around busily and smiled upon seeing the window open.

"Sloane!" you loudly whispered near the window, hoping she heard you.

She went over and moved the curtain, beaming when she saw you. "Y/N! Come in! You're right on time!"

Very carefully, she levitated you up to her window and helped you climb inside.

"Hey! You look amazing!" you hugged her, noticing her already done hair and makeup.

Sloane beamed. "Thank you! Come on, let's get you ready!"

You sat down at her vanity, seeing there was makeup already laid out with hair products and accessories.

"You are going to love your outfit by the way," Sloane told you as she began doing your hair.

"I can't wait! What color is it?" you wanted to know.

"You'll see!"

"Oh, come on! You can't just say that and then not tell me."

She laughed, beginning to braid two sections of your hair. "I know, I know."

You smiled, watching her sweep your hair up into an elegant hair style and drape the braids over it. She decorated your hair with little pearl pins and then moved onto the makeup. A knock came from the door.

"Yes?" Sloane called towards it.

"The party starts soon," Jayme announced from the other side.

"Ooh, great! We are almost done!" Sloane returned.

"We? Who's we?"

"Y/N, of course. I'm helping her get ready."

The door slightly opened and Jayme poked her head in. "Hey."

"Hi. Ooh, what happened to your forehead?" you winced upon seeing the cut.

Jayme rolled her eyes, slipping inside. "We got into a fight yesterday. With the self proclaimed, Umbrella Academy."

"Who or what is the Umbrella Academy?" you frowned.

"Apparently, they are another group of powerful people. Dad said they claimed to be his kids and he met them when he was in Dallas in 1963," she explained, plopping down on Sloane's bed.

"To me, they seemed to be confused," Sloane commented airily.

"We sent them packing though," Jayme grinned. "We totally beat their asses."

"Jayme," you chided. "What did they want? Did you all find out?"

"No," Sloane eyed her sister. "And we didn't exactly beat them. We all got into a huge fight, but Marcus kicked them out."

"Yeah, because that one member nearly sent the Academy to its knees. He blasted us with a huge wave of energy or something," Jayme remarked.

"The Umbrella Academy sounds dangerous," you admitted.

"They won't be as long as you stay away from them," Ben suddenly appeared at the door.

"Why is everyone crowded around my room when you all should be getting ready, too?" Sloane was slightly exasperated.

"Is that Y/N?" Alphonso peeked out from behind Ben.

Christopher was floating above him and he warbled.

"Hi Alphonso, hi Chris!" you waved.

"Oh, great. I was hoping you'd come. That way you can help me escape them if or when needed," Alphonso grinned.

Ben rolled his eyes. "No. I'll be keeping an eye out on her."

"Why? Did those other Academy members get invited?" you frowned some, feeling Sloane switch out your earrings and slip a sparkling necklace around your neck.

"I don't know. Dad sent invitations to everyone in the city," Marcus spoke up, standing by Alphonso.

"They better not show up, especially with the shit they pulled yesterday!" Ben spat out.

"Ben, be nice. This is supposed to be a happy occasion!" you went over to him.

He sighed and shook his head in disgust. "It won't be if they decide to show up."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. Think of it things this way: they're a bunch of wasps. Sure, they can be annoying and you don't like them. However, don't mess with them and they won't mess with you," you pointed out.

Christopher warbled some and you nodded in agreement.

That made Sloane laugh. "They've got a point."

"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up, everyone. The party will be starting soon and you know Dad won't like it if we're late. Plus, Y/N is our guest of honor, so, he'll be expecting her as well," Ben left on that note.

"Agreed! We need to get you dressed now," Sloane shooed the rest of her family out.

"Oh, good. If needed, I have a bunch of cloaks to finish your outfit with," Fei put in before she closed the door behind her.

"Please?" you looked at Sloane. To be fair, Fei was a fashion icon in your eyes.

"Sure. I think she probably has one to match this," Sloane held up a lovely red dress with a velvet bodice and a fluffy skirt. She had a pair of satin red heels in her other.

"Ooh, how gorgeous," you lit up at the sight of it.

"Well, come on! It'll look breathtaking on you."

She turned around to let you get changed. Once you were in the dress, she laced up the back of it.

"And here is this for added sparkle," Sloane added a gold brooch with a ruby in the middle to the pinched neckline. She also handed you an elaborate burgundy and gold mask with flowers and jewels adorning it.

"Wow," you looked at your reflection in amazement once she positioned you in front of her mirror.

"You look absolutely stunning! Red is so your color!" Sloane squealed and clapped.

"Thank you, Sloane! You are amazing!" you hugged her happily.

A knock came from the door and Fei poked her head in.

"Y/N, you look very nice," she complimented.

"So do you," you acknowledged her gown.

"Thank you. Did I hear something about needing to borrow a cloak?"

"Do you happen to have one to match this?"

"Oh, I have one to match every outfit imaginable," Fei smiled and sent out one of her birds to retrieve it.

"You're all so sweet. Thank you," you blushed.

"Of course! You're like a sister to us," Sloane hugged you and so did Fei.

Soon her bird came flying back in with a lovely velvet cloak. Fei hooked it on, letting it drape down your back.

"You look like Juliet if she were a princess," Sloane complimented.

"Very regal," Fei agreed.

"Okay, let me get changed really quickly and then we can all go together."

"Dad, Ben, and Marcus are already at the party," Fei informed as you two stepped out of Sloane's room.

"So who were the Umbrella Academy members? I mean, did you get a good look at any of them?" you were curious.

Fei sighed. "One male was very tall and blond. Another male had long brown hair and kept flipping knives. A third male was wearing a cowboy hat. And of course there's the powerful male. There's one female and they also have a boy that looks to be your age."

"Oh. There's six of them?"

"Yes. Except one is extremely powerful."

"The one with the energy blasts," you muttered, biting your bottom lip.

"Precisely."

"They didn't severely injure any of you, did they?"

"No, luckily. Just cuts and bruises. The normal."

"Okay, good."

Sloane stepped out in a pretty light pink dress with her pink and silver mask in hand. "Are we ready to go have some fun?"

"Absolutely!" you grinned.

You set off for the party with the others. You felt your nerves flutter some. It's been a while since you've been to an event like this. More or less something so formal.

When you arrived, the party was in full swing. Music swept through the air as indistinct chatter from the guests overlapped. You looked at all the dressed up people around you, smiling at them when they passed by. All these people here to celebrate the Sparrow Academy. You felt proud of your friends. And you were so glad tonight was all about them. They deserved the recognition for all their hard work.

"Ah, Y/N! There you are," Ben took your arm.

"Ben. You look nice," you complimented, frowning when he led you away from Sloane and Fei.

"Don't torture her, Ben!" Sloane called in your wake.

"To where precisely are we going?" you asked Ben.

"There is a young man currently talking my ear off."

You laughed at that and he rolled his eyes in partial amusement. In the distance you saw a young man around your age talking to Marcus. He looked like a bubbly ball of energy.

"Nick? This is Y/N. Y/N, meet Nick," Ben nudged you to him.

"Hello there!" Nick greeted, taking your hand and giving it a shake.

"Hi," you laughed from his energy.

"Um…would you like to dance with me?" he requested bashfully.

You smiled shyly. "Sure."

Nick excitedly led you out onto the floor. You laughed from his enthusiasm, assuming position. He gently began to guide you around.

"You're very light on your feet," you were rather impressed.

He smiled. "Thank you."

"So, tell me a little bit about yourself, if you don't mind."

"Well, I have three other siblings. Two brothers and a sister, to be more precise."

"Aw, really? Are they here?"

"No. They didn't want to come, so I did."

"I'm glad you are."

"Thanks. What about you?" Nick spun you around.

"I'm an only child."

"Sounds like your household would be way more peaceful," he commented, making you laugh.

"It can be, yes," you smiled.

"So…with the way Ben introduced you earlier…I'm guessing you're good friends with them?" Nick glanced over at said Sparrow, who was watching you two intently. "Jeez, he's so intimidating."

"Oh, he's not so bad when you get to know him," you winked at Nick, giving Ben a look.

Ben slightly cracked a smirk and rolled his eyes.

"I see," Nick wasn't so sure.

"You'll have to excuse him," you blushed slightly.

"Of course."

You smiled some, letting him twirl you around again. The end of the song soon came and you gave him a curtsey.

"Thank you for the dance," you smiled and then turned.

You suddenly came face to face with a tragically handsome dark haired boy. His piercing green eyes behind his navy mask met yours and he looked just as speechless as you. You felt as if the world around you faded away. He was dressed in a very dashing three piece black suit, which you thought looked incredibly good on him.

"Ma'am," he gently took your hand, kissing it formally.

"Sir," you rather breathlessly returned, absolutely enamored.

Blushing, you shyly slipped your hand out of his grasp.

"Excuse me for a moment," you felt your face burning as you quickly rushed off.

You made a beeline for the refreshments, fixing yourself a glass of water. You felt Sloane join your side.

"Did I just see you flirting with Five Hargreeves?" she whispered.

"Who?" you gulped down the water almost desperately.

"The boy who just kissed your hand. That's Five. From the Umbrella Academy!"

You choked. "I thought they weren't invited!"

"Well, I'm not sure about that."

"Besides, how can you be so sure it was him?"

"I can tell. Masks only disguise so much. I don't think the others know yet."

"Are you going to tell them?" you felt your heart pounding. You didn't want to get in trouble for being fascinated by the boy.

Sloane gave you a sympathetic, pitiful look. "No. It's not worth it. I want to have fun tonight. Umbrella Academy party crashers or not. You should, too. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay. I'm going to go get some fresh air really quickly."

"Have fun," Sloane hugged you and winked.

You downed the rest of your water before slowly making your way out of the ballroom. You instantly felt better. It was quieter and cooler out here. Plus you felt like you could breathe. You took a deep breath, wandering further away. Your heels clicked upon the floor, echoing through the air. You softly hummed to yourself, strolling down the corridor towards Grace's art gallery. You liked sitting there and reading sometimes. It was a very serene, ambient atmosphere.

You were about to sit down when a suddenly flash of light made you scream and you barely dodged a punch.

"Hey!" you stomped on their foot.

"Shit!" a young man's voice cried out in pain.

"Oh!" you gasped when you saw it was the young man from earlier.

Five Hargreeves, to be more precise.

"I am so sorry, are you okay?" you checked over him, embarrassed.

"What the hell is wrong with…" Five trailed off when he looked up at you. "You…" his voice faltered.

"Yes. Me," you replied simply and internally you smacked yourself.

"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to. I just thought…well…" he flinched.

"I was someone else?"

"Yes. This is really embarrassing, I am so sorry. Are you all right, love?"

"I'm fine, but, are you okay? Oh, your poor foot!" you felt awful, but your heart fluttered.

"No, it's fine. I deserved it, honestly."

"You know, this is terrible. Usually I'm way better at first impressions than this," you admitted.

"I think you're very charming," Five smiled.

You smiled back, but it melted some. "What were you doing out here?" you wanted to know.

"I lost something, and I can't seem to find it. I thought it'd be somewhere around here, but it's not. Guess I will have to look somewhere else," he sighed.

"Oh?" you were curious now.

He glanced at you. "It's a…long story."

"We've got time. I'm not necessarily needed at the party anyway."

"Did you come with someone?"

"Well, not exactly? I'm best friends with the Sparrows," you flinched, remembering the rivalry.

"You are?" Five pulled back from you a bit.

You felt your heart shatter. "Wait, no. Please don't go. I'm not one of them. I have no powers. And I'm not an Academy member. I'm just…I'm just little ol' me." You hadn't realized you grabbed his hand until you glanced down, feeling the warmth of his hand melt into yours.

"You don't have any powers?"

"No. I met them after my house got broke into and they came to the rescue. Honestly, they're not as bad as you'd think. To me, anyways."

"And what do you know about us?" Five had a slightly guarded tone.

You winced. "Honestly, not much. I just know you all arrived here the other day and had a huge fight with the Sparrows."

"That's all?"

You nodded, glancing down. However, Five gently lifted your chin up to meet his softened gaze.

"May I change your perspective a little bit and help you get to know who the Umbrella Academy really is?"

"I'd like that very much," you smiled.

Five offered his arm for you, leading you out to the courtyard. The breeze was nice and cool. You softly thanked Five when he draped his jacket over your shoulders. The two of you walked around and you listened to him tell you all about his family. How he was adopted, time traveled into the future, tried to stop two apocalypses, and came back to this new timeline. When he was done, you were astounded and speechless. You thought the Sparrow Academy dealt with insanity? Never mind.

"Oh…my…" was all you could say.

"It's a lot, I know," Five returned, glancing down.

"So, you were trying to find the briefcase?" you were unsure.

He nodded. "I thought the party would be a good enough of a distraction to keep the Sparrows away long enough."

"Oh. Then I came along, I'm so sorry," you flinched.

"No, don't be sorry. Please."

"Have you ever had any time to relax?"

Five laughed from that. "I wish. But not yet."

"How unfortunate…"

"Maybe soon I will. I don't know," he sighed.

"If you did get the briefcase, what would happen or what would you do?" you glanced at him curiously.

Five bit his lip, unsure. "I…don't know. Actually. So far, besides the Sparrow Academy, this seems like a perfectly acceptable timeline. In my opinion. Everything looks to be alive and well."

You nodded, hoping it would stay like that. Soon, you heard footsteps from behind and you gasped.

"Oh gosh. You need to go before someone sees us out here together! To our luck, Fei might have sent a bird after me," you got to your feet, hastily giving Five's jacket back to him.

"Be careful," he wished you and blinked out.

"Y/N! There you are," Jayme said.

"Hey! Sorry, I just needed some fresh air," you returned.

She slowly nodded. "Okay. Great. Cool. There's a brawl going on inside right now." She rolled her eyes.

"What? Oh God!" you gasped and followed her back to the ballroom.

Marcus and Ben were arguing with a couple of people you could only assume were the other Umbrella Academy members. You just deduced it since you saw Five with them.

"So, I am ordering you one last time: get the hell out of our house!" Ben snarled.

"Ben! Ben, stop, you're making a scene," you warned him. "Why can't you just let them be? They're not doing anything."

"I saw them poking around in the corners. They're trying to take something from us, Y/N."

"Like what?" you frowned, eyeing Five.

"We just need the briefcase. Then we'll be gone forever," the female, you guessed to be Allison, returned.

"Yeah, I don't believe you. Just get out!" Ben ordered harshly.

"Stand down," Marcus said to him.

"Please, just leave. We don't want anyone getting hurt again," Sloane spoke up calmly.

The Umbrella Academy members exchanged a glance as you gazed at Five again. He gave a small nod.

"Come on. Let's get out of here. It's not worth it," he told his siblings.

They grumbled some and you watched them leave, wishing you had more time with Five. Before he disappeared, he locked eyes with you again and you offered him a soft smile. Then he blinked out.

You sighed, deciding you had enough partying for one night. You went up with Sloane to get changed into something comfier to relax in.

~ * ~

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