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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 6 months

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up until recently i ran a pretty popular radfem blog (stay with me, this ask is in good faith) but after i took a social media detox, i realized i don’t share those beliefs anymore and in fact i might be trans myself. i just kind of abandoned the blog, but i’d feel bad if i didn’t tell my followers what happened. i’m scared of telling anyone because i feel like i’d be a bad feminist if i transitioned. (i know, you can be trans and a feminist just fine, but that’s just the kind of thing radfems tell you.) even worse, i’m scared of posting about it on my main or radfem blog because radfems and trans people by and large hate each other (obv), and i’m scared to mention i’ve been in both groups because of the hate i’ll get

Lee says:

When I first started as a mod, I would have told you that you need to immediately post on all your blogs to disown the transphobic beliefs you had previously expressed to try to make up for the harm that you may have perpetrated as a radfem.

Now that I'm a little older, my feelings on the topic have shifted a bit. Before anything else, I think you need to slow down and make sure that you ensure your own safety and mental health.

If you believe that revealing this change to your followers could result in backlash online that would affect you emotionally, it's crucial to prepare by turning off anonymous asks and muting notifications from social media apps.

You should also make sure you have a non-online place to turn for support. If they used to be your community, you may feel like you've lost online friends, so make sure you don't become too isolated. Instead, lean on your IRL connections and seek support from trans-friendly people in your community.

You may even want to consider looking for a therapist-- questioning being trans can be difficult for anyone, and adding a layer of internalized transphobia doesn't help.

When you're ready to share your feelings on your blog, you should write a thoughtful post explaining your journey. You don't have to justify your identity; rather, focus on your personal growth, how your views have evolved, and how you came to understand yourself better. Acknowledge the complexity of the situation and that you're still learning.

These people were once your buddies and there's a chance you may be able to make some of them question their beliefs too if you don't lash out at them and trigger that instinctual defensive us-versus-them mindset, so I would try to keep a friendly tone even while noting that you no longer support them.

So thank your followers for their support and engagement over the years, but tell them you aren't comfortable staying part of their community now that you've realized that the beliefs underpinning the group are doing damage and you are trying to unlearn that type of thinking.

Gently challenge any misconceptions you once held or promoted. Clarify that being trans and feminist are not mutually exclusive and that everyone deserves respect and equality, regardless of their gender identity.

If you're comfortable, share resources that helped you on your journey. This could be educational materials, support groups, books you found helpful, or contact information for trans-supportive LGBTQ+ organizations. If there's anything you'd recommend to others who were once in the same place as you were on getting out, this is the time to share your advice.

Understand that reactions will likely be mixed. Some followers may feel confused, betrayed, or angry, while others might be supportive or even share their similar experiences. Remember, you're not responsible for their reactions and you don't need to respond to them if you don't want to argue and they aren't willing to have a respectful conversation.

Be clear about your boundaries. Let your followers know what kind of comments you're willing to engage with and that hate or harassment won't be tolerated. You can even stop engaging with the account altogether if you don't think you can deal with the hate that you may receive.

You don't have to post about this immediately. Again, it's okay to take as much time as you need to feel ready. It's okay to wait until you're in a safe and stable position before making any announcements.

If you do post about it and get hate, remind yourself that you're doing the right thing by letting go of that community, and that you're not only making the right choice for your own life in allowing yourself the freedom to explore your gender identity but you're also doing the right thing overall since you're now standing up for the trans community (late is better than never!) and no longer encouraging transphobic narratives.

If you feel that your current blog is no longer a space where you can express yourself authentically, consider starting a new blog or platform where you can write freely about your experiences and beliefs. Or just get offline altogether-- your digital detox is what started this, so maybe it's healthy for you to continue it for a while!

If you tell someone "I support trans folks" and they send you hate, that person is not your friend anyway. This is an opportunity to meet nice people who you can be yourself with. I would really encourage you to connect with IRL activists who are actually regularly volunteering and doing something concrete for their community if you have the opportunity.

When I was in high school, I volunteered at my local library's teen advisory board, and when I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital and through my college. This weekend I'm starting training for volunteering in-person for my town's emergency preparedness group which also does things like help to unload trucks for the food pantry, and I also volunteer remotely for two organizations online.

I'm really pushing for you to get out and volunteer (online or IRL) because I know one draw of the radfem community is feeling like you're an activist and that you're supporting women's rights and protecting and defending women. And it is important to support women's rights and protect and defend women! But there are other ways to do that beyond running a hateful blog attacking trans women.

I have a friend who works at an organization for survivors of domestic violence, for example, and she works with volunteers who help staff events, answer the hotline, etc. You can look around and see what local initiatives there are in your community and if you can't find the thing you're looking for you can start a group yourself or look online and join a national or state-wide cause that you care about, like pushing the legislature to support access to abortions.

Giving up the radfem community doesn't mean giving up feminism, and this is a good opportunity for you to take a look at your own time, your values, and think about how you can take this chance to start working to be a more effective feminist. Not everyone has to be an activist, but if you want to be one, think about how you can start doing good in a way that will actually affect people in a positive way.

I've also often been involved in doing events like conferences and workshops and panels IRL from my time in high school to the present day to try and educate folks on the community, but I also know that sometimes you need to take a step back and prioritize yourself. If you think you're not ready to jump into making change that's also okay. Just join something. A soccer team, a book club, anything hobby-related, to have something else to do and talk about and think about and stay tethered to feeling part of something.

Remember, it's okay to grow and change. You're not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. It's a courageous step to admit when your views have changed, and it's an integral part of personal growth. Be kind to yourself during this process.

Whether or not you end up identify as trans, you still will be doing the right thing by separating yourself from that community. I know it may be difficult because they were a place where you felt supported and part of a movement, but I really believe that you're taking steps in the right direction by letting go of that ideology and just living your life!

Followers, if you have any experiences unlearning toxic beliefs please reply with your advice for anon!

#Lee says #transphobia m

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theemporium · 10 months

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omg i need to get this thought out to someone!! bestie what abt poly!marauders with a famous!gf and she’s in a music video and dresses rlly hot so they react to the music video at home and are like 😻 and basically she’s so embarrassed but they keep telling her to replay the video

thank you for requesting!🖤i made it a bit more modern!marauders but enjoy!!

“You have got to be kidding me.”

There had been a handful of ways you expected to come from the studio, and another handful that you would have liked to have walked in on. Maybe your boys having already made dinner, ready and plated so you could enjoy a meal with them. Maybe all of them cuddled up on the couch so you could curl up between them. Maybe even your boys getting ready for bed, sweatpants loose on their hips and chests bare.

There were so many ways except for the one in front of you. And if anything, it was your fault for not expecting it.

You had barely pushed the door open to your place when the sound of your recent single echoed through the house. It wasn’t unusual for the boys to be playing your music when you were gone. If anything, it was sweet that they were such big fans of you regardless of your relationship.

However, your most recent single had been released with a music video—one that your boyfriends were unaware of—and it had become their new obsession.

“Go back, you missed the best part!”

“Fuck off, Pads, this is the best part!”

“You are both wrong!”

You dumped your bag by the front door, quickly kicking off your shoes before you made your way to the living room where three grown men were huddled around a laptop, eager eyes watching the screen as though they hadn’t watched the video multiple times in a row.

“This is getting ridiculous,” you spoke up and watched as all three heads swivelled around to you.

“Baby!” James jumped up from his seat without a moment of heistance, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest. “How was the studio?”

“Good,” you murmured, pressing your cheek against the soft fabric of his shirt with a sigh. “What are you up to?”

“We missed you,” Sirius spoke up, his head leaning on the back of the couch as he looked up at you with wide eyes. “Wanted to see our sexy girl.”

“Like you need an excuse to watch that video,” you murmured, your cheeks flushing in embarrassment as you caught a glimpse of where they had paused.

The music video had been a last minute addition to the release of your single, which meant that it was essentially recorded in one day. Your team had to get creative on what they could use and it just so happened that Sirius’ motorcycle made it into the cut. And you knew your boy loved nothing more than seeing you clad in some borderline leather lingerie, straddling his bike with your lips painted a sinful red.

“Can you blame a guy?” Sirius smirked, biting on his lower lip. “I’ve got a hot girlfriend. Just like to remind myself how hot she is.”

“Ugh,” you grumbled, nuzzling yourself further into James’ chest. You could perform for thousands, act unbothered on camera and yet it was compliments from your own boyfriends’ that rendered you flustered and speechless.

“Don’t be like that,” Remus’ voice sounded from his spot on the couch, and you lifted your head to catch him nodding you towards him.

“It’s just weird,” you said with a shrug as you made your way over to him, settling down on his lap without a second thought. “You guys see me like this, not that,” you continued as you waved over at the screen.

“And both are fucking gorgeous,” Remus told you, his hand coming to engulf the side of your face as his thumb brushed over your lips. “You oughta remember that, doll.”

Your lips parted as Remus’ thumb pushed past them, his digit resting against your tongue as your lips wrapped around him.

“But we will happily remind you if you forget,” he added, his eyes darkening as he watched your eyes flutter shut as Sirius lightly tugged your head back by your hair.

“Happily, baby,” James agreed, the laptop playing the music video now abandoned as your boys’ attention was fully on you—the real you.

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starberry-cupcake · 24 days

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Hello, I haven't had time to read as much as I would want but I'm here with an update regardless, because if I don't keep these constant, I'm gonna forget things and this, so far, seems like a book in which I don't wanna forget things.

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

currently, after "parodos" and ch. 1:

so I'm making up a timeline in my head with the information at hand

which is never straightforward

that'd be too easy, here in tlt we like to be kept on our toes

we like to be punched in the gut when we least expect it

so get ready for bad math

this would probably make our good friend palmolive atreides weep

I'm sorry palomilve's force ghost, I'm doing my best

the first entry was the night of the emperor being terminated

the "parodos" bit (we'll get to that) is 14 months before the emperor is snuffed out

ch. 1 is nine months before the emperor kicks the bucket

I believe act 1 is going to be happening around that time, since ch. 2 seems to be following without another indication

because of what happens in "parodos" aka flashback, aka prologue 2: elecric bogaloo, we can attempt to estimate when the events of gideon happened

harrowbean tells ortus in the flashback that he's gonna train with aiglamene for 12 weeks

let's assume that's kind of the amount of time gideon trained, plus the time it took harrow to plot how to girlsplain, gatekeep and gaslight gideon into it

the only one girlbossing here is camilla, I don't make the rules

so, if gideon and harrow were ready to leave the ninth somewhere around 2-3 months after the flashback, it'd be circa 11 months before the events in the prologue

and ch. 1 starts 9 months before the events in the prologue

so gideon might have happened somewhere around 11-10 months before the prologue

I can't tell how long they were in canaan house (it felt like 12 years and 5 minutes at the same time) but I think about a month is mostly right, given that once bodies start dropping, things are all happening together

all of this is relative, since time in space is ????

but I need to do this for my own peace of mind

if you give me time measurements I'm gonna measure, ok?

I need to organize things

I know I will end up making a graphic at some point I just know it

this is what I get for calling palmolive a turbonerd

ANYWAY, MOVING ON

or, moving back, since we're in prologue 2: electric bogaloo aka flashback time

here we have ortus (the one we knew, not the one we will get to know, according to the characters list) telling harrow he doesn't wanna go to the field trip

this is ortus

if you're wondering why I don't nickname ortus, I'll repeat myself but "orto" means "ass" where I'm from, so that's enough to remember him by

harrow is like "I know you're underqualified but we're understaffed, so it is what it is"

the important part is that harrowbean says she sees the barbie in the freezer walking about

like a ghost or whatnot

she refers to her as "the body" and I assume that's barbie in the ice cube because someone reblogged my recap where I mentioned her and tagged

ever since then I've been wondering why she was referred to as The Body and now I'm gonna assume this is it

so harrow tells ortus he needs to hide the fact that she's mentally unstable

[non funny side note: masking is unbearable and it's awful we live in a social and cultural environment where we feel pressured to do it, especially when you're an adult having to fulfill expectations of supposedly "age-specific" activities and responsibilities, it's exhausting and I cried about that in therapy a mere week ago so, hitting hard, this bit

don't let people make you feel "less than" because the way in which you navigate the world and your experiences is different from what's expected in some theoretical socially constructed category

and fuck everyone who, in order to put people down in arguments online, ever make fun of those who aren't mentally, economically or socially as independent as what the category of an adult is supposed to be to them

argue with concepts, argue with opinions and facts, don't tear people down in the name of "moral upper hand" by telling people they're losers for needing help

side note done]

so, harrow entered the whole canaan thing not only carrying the weight of her house, her family and her entire people

she also came into it believing she's not mentally sound and seeing The Body walking around unnoticed by other people

whether or not her visions are mentally unsettled or something that actually happens because she opened the tomb, just the whole situation of her birth is enough to make anyone collapse, so we got you, harrowbean

we're here for you

and all that without mentioning what it'd be like seeing your girlfriend cavalier impale herself in front of you

I'm taking liberties with the 'girlfriend' bit but idk

so, next we know, 5 months have passed from that and harrowcita is struggling in her new environment of the clown emperor's ship

she is made to carry gideon's sword and she can't

she can't seem to know what to do or to communicate with said knowledge and she's throwing up a lot

WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!

I mean, it's not great that she's suffering

but it's GREAT because if she can't communicate with gideon's slurped soul, maybe it means gideon's soul has not been slurped AT ALL

more fuel for my wishful thinking of gideon's soul returning to her and getting regenerated and saved and being alive

I also like very much this situation in which harrow sees the sword as personified and they hate each other without gideon

it's like prim's cat in the hunger games with katniss

but with an inanimate object

I'm really liking that dynamic

is like they both miss her and can't relate to each other

ALSO barbie body ice cube is still there

just chillin' and being silently supportive, I think

not sure what her deal is but what if she's not the bad one here? because this emperor kind of sucks tbh

not in a 'he's evil' way but in a 'idk if he know what he's doing' way

I don't know about this guy tbh

so we're leaving off with harrow being mentally and physically struggling, ghost barbie roamin' the rooms, voices of people organizing stock and gideon in my head like this, walking in limbo to get back to us

also, another day without camilla

I thought I wasn't gonna have much to say and this is so long, I'm so sorry...

#luly reacts to tlt #harrow the ninth #tlt #harrow the ninth spoilers #tlt spoilers #the locked tomb #long post #gif cw

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teencopandthesourwolf · 9 months

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THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN EVERY EPISODE OF TEEN WOLF EVER

part i (part ii HERE)

17 different heart attack-inducing storylines all overlapping with one another with some genuinely excellent concepts and lots of cool af lore that's executed so terribly it convinces you that whomever is in charge must surely be a hamster

werewolves and teenagers alike with some seriously debilitating mental conditions running around like they're contestants on the wheel of fortune

scott pining loudly over allison, pre or post allison's death, regardless of who he is dating at the time

beautiful beautiful derek "my whole family died and i'm being soso brave about it and trying to make myself a new one by collecting teen misfits and putting them in a plastic tupperware box but forgetting to poke holes in the lid bc i'm on the spectrum and trying to process and deal and grow as a person is really tough when life keeps getting harder instead of easier and will somebody please PLEASE just give me a break" hale.

deaton being a smug little twat

STILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTILESSTI

greenberg being the star of the show

lydia slaying

everybody apart from stiles running around like headless chickens while stiles tries to tell everybody what they need to do but none of them ever listen to stiles so stiles has to do something drastic and dangerous then everybody is all like OMG STILES WHY DID YOU DO THAT THAT'S SO DRASTIC AND DANGEROUS WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU and stiles has to try his best not to eviscerate every single fucking one of them bc he is a good friend to scott

jeff davis doing his doggone constipated best to debunk sterek by writing dialogue/giving directions that hilariously just ardently confirm sterek even more with each epically gay scene

scott sending out thee biggest punch me i'm a motherfucker vibes

AUTISM

danny mahealani stealing the hearts and minds of young and old alike

dylan o'brien being extremely kind by trying his absolute best not to show up all the other actors with his scene-stealing, oscar-worthy performances every second he is on screen and failing miserably.

scott ignoring his phone

mama mcall being so real and a milf

derek's eyebrows being an actual main character

scott auditioning for a new cutting edge reality tv show show called: GIVE ME A NEW PERSONALITY BEFORE SOMEBODY ENDS MY LIFE FOR ME!

boyd being better than everybody else

57% of scenes being filmed in beacon hills high school

41% of scenes being filmed in beacon hills hospital

peter hale, cunt, rocking your world whether you like it or not

(part ii HERE)

#feel free to add on!#emo lycanthrope romantic comedy my beloved <3 #teen wolf #the one and only #show of all time #gay werewolves #freaks and geeks with magic #the biles bilinski diaries #and scott #lol #sterek #team woof #tw meta #every episode of teen wolf ever #tcats posts #a wolf and his queueman

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ventitititi · 2 months

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Good morning, ilayda. This is my third and final Gaming request for the day. Please kindly consider this Gaming hurt/comfort request: Gaming and Reader have been betrothed ever since they were kids and Gaming makes it a point to visit Reader during the weekends. During his most recent visit, Gaming finds Reader being rather distant. Rather confused, he inquires around the village and finds out about the rumors about him and Yun Jin getting closer and Reader was expecting him to break off the betrothal to be with her. Gaming hurries back to Reader to assure her that he has no intention of annulling the betrothal. Please also kindly take as long as you need with this request; I have no qualms in waiting. Furthermore, by no means feel obligated to prioritize this request over your other requests

I've seen all your requests and man, i sure hope I'm doing your boy gaming justice as i chip away at these

Cw/tw; none!! Expect lots of fluff, headcanon-ish format, the hurt/comfort is very mild tbh, it's 2:30am here so yeah take this with that warning

🌱. Gaming had come back from another trip in the harbour, gifts in hand and excited to tell you all about the people he's seen and the places he's been

🌱. But... You seemed off. Normally, he'd expect open arms and warm hugs, maybe even a kiss on the cheek (definitely a kiss on the cheek,) instead though, you were... Quiet, distant

🌱. So, he did what anyone in his situation would do. He started to ask the aunties and uncles why you seemed so different, asking everyone he could about the matter

🌱. One aunty held the awnser to his plight, she'd overheard you talking about how gaming was getting closer to this girl by the name "yunjin"

🌱. Worse still, the aunty informed him everyone thought he'd break off the engagement

🌱. Interrupting her mid sentence, gaming holds up a hand, "sorry aunty but i gotta go! I'll hear the rest of your story later!"

🌱. And he was off, running like his life depended on it back towards your house. Never in a million years would he dream of breaking this engagement, you were the best thing to happen to him

🌱. Upon opening the door, you're greeted by a very frazzled gaming. His chestnut hair in a disarray and his clothes all unkempt. Before you could fully close the door on him with some uttered excuse, gaming had his foot in the door, keeping it open

🌱. "Y/n! Wait! Just hear me out, okay?"

🌱. You eye him warily but you do wait, you owed him at least that much

🌱. "Listen, i know you'd heard how I've gotten close with another girl recently, but i promise it's not what you think! She's a performer, too! She sings opera and i just thought she could teach me some useful tricks... Regardless, my point is that you're wayyyyy more important to me! You're like my heart! So please, let me in?"

🌱. He was giving you his best puppy eyes, and while you were still doubtful you opened the door.

🌱. Immediately you were swallowed in the soft scent of his clothes, strong arms holding you in a hug. Melting into him, you sniffle softly, "I thought you were gonna leave me, i didn't know what I'd do with myself"

🌱. "Nonsense, I'm never leaving, not even in a gajillion years! So cheer up, y/n"

🌱. Spends the rest of the evening/night holding you and doing his best to soothe any worries you have bottled up, his hands gently rubbing your back and occasionally pressing little kisses to your face

🌱. Genuinely, you're stuck with him for as long as you'll have him

#genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin x reader fluff #gaming fluff #genshin gaming #gaming x reader #gaming x reader fluff #hurt/comfort #mild hurt/comfort #: ̗̀➛head in the cloudsೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ

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everythingelseisextra · 9 months

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Cain (Tommy's POV)

WARNING: This chapter contains the darkest material in Only The Wild Ones so far. This is not a fun chapter. Message me for more details if you'd like to know the specifics behind the warnings. Read at your own discretion.

Part Seventeen: The Ends Of The Earth

Description: A decision is made. Tommy goes on the hunt and learns a new respect. Warnings: Effects and mentions of drug use, implied pedophilia, abuse of a child, implied child trafficking, language Word Count: 3500 Tag List: @theshelbyslimited @ttaechi @weaponizedvirtue @majesticcmey @optimisticsandwichgladiator @zablife @princesssterek @mm0thie @callsignvenus @ay0nha @mgdixon @fairytale07 @dreamy-caramel @ce1iat @algae-tm @dragonsondragons @trentknd @nothingofsimplicity @babayaga67 @shelbydelrey @globetrotter28 @look-at-the-soul @notalxx @chaengist @cookiez56-blog

“Tommy… You—” I can hear it in her voice before she says it.

I nod and put the box back in my pocket. “So, when you’re ready, you tell me, and—”

“Your turn to listen.” She wipes the tears from her face and draws herself up, resetting herself, taking a breath. “You’re right. You’re not a good man. You made promises to me and didn’t keep them, you toyed with me, you scared the shit out of me. You say you care for me but only act like it sometimes. And I know a lot of the time, it’s not really your fault. It’s hard to care for other people when you feel fucking unwanted, trust me, I know. And I know you just experienced a blow. Probably an understatement, honestly, to what just happened. But you can’t take that out on me. You can’t exert the power you have just so you can feel in control. So, no. I won’t marry you. You’ll have to handle having a woman in your house who’s not a whore, a wife, a nanny. You’ll have to handle a woman who isn’t just a body for you.” Her eyes carry something in them, half fear, half mercy. “But, there is a bright side. I know you’re not loyal. I know you’re not always kind. I know you manipulate and act like a child when you’re grieving. I’ve seen the worst and I’m still here. I guess that says something about me.”

“You haven’t.” The words are heavy, burdened by weight in my chest, on my heart. “You haven’t seen the worst.”

“No?”

I shake my head. “I’m bloody violent.”

She chuckles. “Oh, you think I care about that? Need I remind you that I killed two men myself, one at point blank?”

I look up at her, seeking the distaste I saw in Grace when we talked of the illegal side of business. She stares back, puffy eyes and drawn skin, unafraid, unfaltering. I tilt my head.

“You won’t marry me. You won’t fuck me. You won’t let me pay for necessities. Why, then, are you staying in this house?”

Her gaze turns to an amused kind of incredulity. “For a smart man, you really can be thick sometimes, you know that?”

I smile faintly. “No one but you is ever brave enough to tell me.”

“But, still, you do know.” She sighs. “I’ve stayed with you because, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re the only person that makes me feel safe. Despite your particular neurosis, or maybe even regardless of them, you’re the first one I’ve met to know the shit I’ve been through and not back away because of it. Hell, you might’ve even gotten closer. And I owe you. I would’ve ran. My whole life, all I’ve done is run, and it was you who convinced me to stay. It was you who taught me I could fight. I probably knew all along, but you forced me to become the person I desperately needed when I was younger. You’re worth it to me to stay, even with the bullshit that comes with being Tommy Shelby.”

She says my name and it sounds kinder than when I do. I pull my legs up onto the bed and lean back a little, drawing myself up. Tommy Shelby. My reputation precedes me, always has. Not with her. Never with her. And I know with some certainty that came from almost chasing her away, that I will always be able to do the difficult things. I can be scared and carry on, I can send my family to prison and take a breath and play with my son for an hour after. But the easy things; eating when I’m hungry, drinking something other than whiskey, coaxing myself to sleep at night, speaking the truth when a lie is on my tongue, and admitting that I am hurting. Doing that without her will bring me back to that rottenness in my head, all the muck and smoke left over, the sickness from my mum.

“I don’t know what I can do that will be enough of an apology.” My hand on the sheets clenches a bit and scrunches them.

“I have a few things to start with.” She draws closer to me, blinking bleary eyes at the sad state of affairs that I’ve become. I nod for her to continue speaking, to place her demands, and her voice turns to something more authoritative, stronger, despite the tear streaks down her face. “You’ll respect our relationship and not sleep with other women. You’ll talk about what’s going on in your head instead of literally shutting me out. And, most importantly, you’ll quit playing games. I don’t like doing that. All I want is to lay my cards on the table and give you what you need, and you can’t take advantage of that. The only apology I need is proof that you actually do want me here and do value me without belonging to you, physically or metaphorically.”

It’s often that I forget about the sleepy-eyed kid I used to be. He’s in my head, somewhere, behind the gunsmoke and ignition. That boy was the definition of youth. Rebellion in his bones and impulsivity at his very fingertips, and he thinks that the world is cruel, so then, he won’t be. He’ll be kind and protective of the weak, the dying, the horses and the wild ones. That was the problem, then, that he softened himself so. He was hurt too easily. And I think that that boy loves her. Simple, yes, uncomplicated, childish love, but love nonetheless. When she asks for the apology of admiration and respect, he knows he can give it.

I worry that I cannot. That boy was before the war. That boy is a made-up voice in my head, and I am real. I am the man who has regrets piling up around him and who fears that he will never make a better mistake. I am the man who has a woman who wants him but doesn’t want him and talks about metaphors and broken promises. I am the man who has died more times than he can count and still wakes up every morning to face a cold sun.

“Okay.” I look elsewhere, unable to meet her eyes.

“That isn’t much of a promise, Tom.”

I take a breath and look up. “I promise.”

She nods. “That’s better.”

I think I’ve gotten too used to being broken. Pain tastes sweet when the knife is sharp. I like when my head is in a fight with my heart, when that conflict can distract me from the rest. I like when I’ve grown so sharp that no one can grasp me. I like when the whiskey sings away the no-man’s-land between myself and others. So, when she asks me to be a better man, to treat her with the same regard as she does me, I falter. I worry that she’ll see the rips and tears in me and decide that the healing I’ve done has been in the wrong places.

A small smile turns my lips and my eyes are on hers. “I promise you don’t need to forgive me for us to continue. I’ve never been innocent, and now you know it.”

“I’ve known.” Her lips press together. “Don’t go thinking I’ve been oblivious.”

The faint smile I managed falls away. My heart aches to tell her, to confess my sins and repent, the way Polly would want. I cannot tell her, not until I know that it’s worked, until I can tell that the business I’ve conducted has run its course. Maybe I will never tell her, simply open her cage and let her fly without another word.

—

There are men here with names that are written on a list hidden in a locked drawer. Their heavy feet creak the wooden floor, predatory stances with gazes that provoke. This darkened bar knows I’m here. The bartender catches my eyes, waiting for me to move on one of the women who walk along with low cut dresses and pupils blown unnaturally large. They serve drinks here, yes, but they’re the appetizers to the meal of women. The men pair themselves off with one or two, disappear into a backroom, or up the stairs to the small quarters above. Music from a gramophone drowns out the thumping and moans.

I’m not interested in the women. I’m not interested in the men. My attention lies on the bartender. A seedy, badly-dressed older man with yellowed eyes from years of using cocaine, with the name of Harold Bates. I asked around, found that he’s been working in this bar since before the war and has been an ally to the men who purchase these women’s services.

I’ve become a regular and a joke. Widower Tommy Shelby, drinking alone in a front for whoring, refusing to partake in the hedonistic celebration of man’s power. They know me as the man who favored Lizzie through the years and who has little reserve when it comes to women. The line between them and I blurs.

It’s hard to find the words to describe the fragility of the web I crouch on. My reputation helps steady it, but so much else seeks to dismantle the plan I’ve built. The question I’m about to ask will tremble the silky threads. I am relying on someone else’s ability to keep quiet, when I would rather send them into silence permanently. Simply put, any blood spilt today will reveal the spider hiding on the web to the fly that buzzes just out of reach.

I meet Harold Bates’ eyes and quietly tell him; “Bring me the youngest.”

I expect questions and receive none. Harold nods and walks behind the wall that separates the bar from the back room. When he returns, I find I can’t breathe. The girl in tow looks to be no older than ten. Emaciated body, crudely painted fingernails, dressed like an adult, showing off curves that don’t exist. I see the woman I’ve left in my house and promised to protect, who killed two men and faces me daily with no fear, and I remember how old she was when she was sent away to a powerless life. Eight. Fifteen when she finally got out. I think of Charlie, three years younger than she was, and nausea rises heavily in my stomach.

I can’t speak, so I reach out and take her hand. Her eyes are wide, intoxicated. She wavers when she walks in heels too big for her. I lead her, half holding her up, to one of the side rooms I’ve deemed is empty. A rotting, bare mattress sits on a metal frame in the middle, walls with peeling paper, the strong smell of sweat and warm bodies. She walks over to the bed and I turn to close the door. My eyes meet the bartender’s through the closing crack. He must think me a sick fuck, for taking this terrified young girl alone into a room to use her as I wish.

When I turn back around, she’s sitting on the bed with her legs crossed, the top of her dress undone to reveal a boyish chest.

I look away. “Put it back on.”

“What?” She looks to me with those same lifeless, glassy eyes. “Aren’t we—”

“Put it back on.” So I can look at you without sickness bubbling in my throat, because there are marks on her chest and stomach that look like her’s, and I don’t want to imagine what’s been done to children like them.

She does so, fumbling with the lace in the back. I stand by the door and wait for her to finish to look.

“No,” I say. “I’m not going to touch you. We’re not doing anything.”

“But then—” She looks down at herself. “But then what are we doing?”

I can hear the fear in her voice. Men have done worse, I think, than touching this girl. None of those marks on her were owned.

“We’re talking.” I slip away from the usual commandment I use in my voice, into the tone I use with Charlie. “I have some questions.”

“Oh, you want me to answer them like someone else, right?” She smiles a little, eyes hazy, as if she’s proud of herself for figuring it out. “You want us to play pretend before you—”

“Answer as yourself.” I look away again, swallowing hard. “Tell me the truth, and I’ll pay you.”

She shrugs. “I don’t get any money. He does. I have to give it all away to him, but if I’m good, maybe he lets me buy some new clothes.”

“Who’s ‘he?’” I cross my arms and lean back against the door, as far away from her as I can be.

“He says for me to call him my dad. So… I guess my dad?”

“Do you know his name?”

She shakes her head. A small barrier, one that we can easily get around.

“What’s your name, then?” It comes out gruffer than I meant.

“Hollis.” She smiles again, still small, still not meeting her dead eyes. “The regulars call me Holly because they like it better.”

“Hollis,” I say. “Where do you go when you’re not here?”

“I’m not allowed to tell you that.” Her smile falls and she looks away, dark hair falling over her eyes, a shelter.

“I won’t tell anyone.” It’s not a lie. “You’d be allowed to tell me.”

I’ve learned through Charles that children like exclusivity. Anything limited-time or called special appeals to them. That includes people. I set myself apart from the other men who use her and she, in turn, gives me something that I need.

She frowns, but speaks slowly. “It depends…”

“Depends?” I push a little, needing more.

“Depends on whether it’s my dad or another man who takes me home. Sometimes they like me overnight.”

“When it’s your dad, where do you go?”

“His flat. There are other dads there, too, with their girls. A lot of them are older than me, though, so…” Her eyes slide shut and she lays back on the filthy, stained bed.

“When you’re at his flat, what other buildings do you see?”

Her eyes open and her brow furrows. “Why do you want to know?”

I shrug, playing it off. “Trying to picture it in my head.”

She nods and stares up at the ceiling, her hands on her concave stomach. “There’s like… a movie theater, but no one ever goes in it. And there’s lots of other flats around with people we don’t know. Sometimes we use the movie theater for other girls when we run out of room. No one bothers us. It’s kind of nice. Like a sleepover.”

“How long have you been with your dad, then?”

“I don’t know, I guess a few months?”

Children must be made of clay. Moldable bits of creativity spawned by the people around them. An adult would never adjust so quickly to a life of abuse the way Hollis has. Thing about clay is, in large amounts, it’s impossible to break through. Used to slow us down in the tunnels. This girl, like everything else malleable, is haunted by the shape she used to take. I wonder, then, what hope she has. I decide to ask.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I pull the box of cigarettes out and light one.

Her eyes flick over to me. “Can I have one?”

“No. You’re too young,” I say on reflex. Charlie asks, and that’s the answer I give him. It doesn’t feel right to say to her, who has lived enough pain to last lifetimes in mere months.

Her brow furrows but she doesn’t argue. “I wanted to be with animals. Like an animal doctor or something.”

I take a drag, let the dry smoke fill my lungs, familiar, then exhale slowly. “You say ‘wanted.’”

“Yeah, well.” She gestures at herself. “I got another job now, and Dad says it’s not gonna end til I’m older and can’t do it anymore.”

There’s some kind of bile rising in my throat that I can’t swallow down. I take another pull of the cigarette. “Tell you what. There’s a woman I know who had your job, and she has horses. Twelve of ‘em. She’s a fucking fighter, beautiful, and bloody smart. You hold your head up, and you’ll see those horses some day. I’ll bring you to them.”

She looks up at me, eyes wider than before. “Really? I can— I can give you— I can use my—”

“No, you don’t give me anything. You get yourself through this and I’ll take you to the horses. That’s the deal. We’re conducting business, Hollis, you understand?” I take a small step towards her and she shrinks back, hand going to the low v-line of her dress. I stop and look away.

“I understand.” She stands and looks at me, smoothing her dress down her thin body. “Dad says I’ll be nothing if I’m not with him.”

“You’ll be something with or without him.” I hear her words in Hollis’, the fear of not being enough without sex. My heart twists. I validated that fear myself. “You’re worth something either way. You hear me? You’re more than these men make you think.”

She nods, gaze dropping to her feet. I reach into my pocket and pull out the amount I’d seen the others pay.

She looks at it, then up at me. “That’s too much.”

I raise an eyebrow, holding it out.

“I’ll get in trouble if Dad finds out this wasn’t what I normally do. Here.” She takes the money, takes half, and hands the rest back to me. “There. Now he won’t know.”

“Now he won’t know.” I manage a weary smile.

“What’s your name?”

“Cain.” It’s the first thing to come to mind.

She smiles back. “Thank you, Cain.”

And then she’s gone, out of the room, past the bartender, and into the back room. I’m left in an empty room. When I look back, I notice for the first time that there are chains on the bed frame. I take a breath, pulling myself together, and walk out without another glance at the bartender.

—

When I return to Arrow House, I find her working in the stables. There’s dirt smeared across her shirt and sweat dripping down her neck. She’s putting Iris back in his stall, likely her last horse of the day, considering the sun is slowly crawling down the sky. I stand at the mouth of the barn and watch her in silence.

This woman is tougher than I will ever be. This I know. This I have seen. And I’m in awe of her. If it were me I wouldn’t be able to look at a man. I wouldn’t be able to live in the same house as one. I would be at a loss for trust and turned away from the idea of love, of respect, because the world had shown me none. I would wonder constantly why the universe didn’t love me back.

I’m lost in the insignificance of myself as I watch her wipe sweat from her forehead. Maybe I’m only passing through her life, a blip in the wildness of running and running and running. Maybe I’m a moment waiting to pass for her, and maybe I’m her forever. I won’t know until she tells me. I wonder if in some past life, we crossed paths. I am not a religious man, but I have to believe I have been without her for far, far too long.

For her, I will be brave. I will learn to let someone see the war torn parts of myself and still look her in the eye afterward. I will refuse to follow the instinct to send away, to abandon, to refuse. This is a promise I make to myself, that I will be better, I’ll be the man she thinks I am.

She notices me and a smile flickers across her face like a candle flame. She does not run to me. She does not grin and wave. Just a small acknowledgement. I see you. I am glad you’re back. That is enough. To be seen. Maybe, all my life, I have been looking just to be seen by someone. Forget being devoured. Forget love with teeth and savagery. This, right here, this is what I’ve been wanting. She sees me. She knows who I am, and still she smiles when I appear. She knows I kill, and so does she. She knows I lie, and so, sometimes, does she. She knows I was in pain, she knows I still am, and so is she.

She knows I was a soldier. I fought, and so did she.

Except there are no child soldiers. Only child victims.

#only the wild ones #tommy shelby #peaky blinders #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #peaky blinders x reader #peaky blinders imagine #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #peaker blinders fandom #peaky blinder imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby imagine #thomas shelby fanfic #peaky fucking blinders #peaky blinders fanfic

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oracleact · 11 months

Note

You can totally choose to look past this cuz it might be a lot (Tw trauma?) I just got Carried, you know when Carrie (from the movie) she gets a bucked full of blood over her head on prom? A guy asked me out and to my surprise, I was blessed with ketchup, eggs and flour by him and his friends, the subway didn’t let me in and no Uber would accept me getting in a car, so I had to walk home. No one asked me what was wrong

I’m still processing that actually happened,. I’m assuming it’s bc of my weight, I’m tall and overweight, I mainly keeps things to myself, am a introvert, idk what other thing could be a reason besides my body. Could you please write a comfort scenario with the tmnt boys? Or one of them, you can choose, Could be platonic, romantic, idk, just reader (who’s usually friendly but don’t talk much about their romantic life cuz they don’t feel like it’s worth investing time, and when they finally decide to change that, thst happens) crying as a mess in front of them for the first time, saying they are tired of living in a body that feels more of a curse than anything,

It’s a lot, I know, you can delete this if you aren’t comfortable doing it (I’m 100% serious)

Thank you Eitherway and hope you have a good day

first of all, I’m so sorry that happened to you. back in high school, I was doused after classes so I can definitely understand your pain here. they are absolutely pathetic for even thinking about doing that to someone; they are total assholes because they acted on it too and I wish for it to haunt them one day when (or if) they mature. you did amazing on your way home that day - I hope that, with time, things will get better for you. you deserve great things. I haven’t written anything with all of the boys before but I wanted to give it a try for you to cheer you up. I wish you well, and I hope you can find comfort in our wonderful turtles!

« got your back »

tmnt x reader / angst + fluff

notes: 1.6k words, all turtles included, platonic relationship, gender neutral reader (no pronouns used,) first person pov, I was thinking of 2012 tmnt while writing this but it probably fits with most iterations.

I can’t believe I’m walking home in the dark, completely covered in miscellaneous goop. I’m glad I didn’t tell anyone about the date that was supposed to happen tonight because, if someone saw me right now, I don’t know what I would do. no public transport let me on covered in eggs and flour, the same for taxis, so now I’m stuck dragging myself home by my own two feet. they are awfully heavy despite my hurry to get back which doesn’t seem fair at all - it’s like my body is laughing at me in equal measure to the rest of the crowd back there.

put your head down and keep walking, put your head down and keep walking, put your—

“hey guys, look!” I stop in my tracks as soon as I hear that voice echo through the night sky. it sounded too much like mikey to simply ignore it.

“mikey, for the last time, shh! ninjas, remember?” that was definitely leo. they all must be up on a roof somewhere but I don’t dare to look up. my feet won’t move anymore regardless, they’re refusing to pick up and run. my body really does hate me tonight huh?

“mikey is right though, look down - hey there!” I slowly crane my neck towards the sound of their chatters and am met with possibly the worst sight I could see at this exact moment: all four of my mutant friends standing on a nearby roof, just as I suspected.

“hi everyone,” I give an awkward wave as they stare down at me.

“want to meet up at the entrance to the lair to hang? we’re just heading back,” raph calls out.

I need a plan, and fast.

thankfully, they can’t see that I’m covered in mush from where they are, but if I go to the lair then that will change. however, if I say ‘no’ to hanging out with them then they’ll get suspicious anyway and follow after me. they’re my best friends, my favourite thing in the whole world is hanging out with them. even if I genuinely can’t hang out we still find a loophole to be together.

either of these choices leaves me doomed to talk about this disaster of a night eventually so…

“sure, you go ahead and I’ll be there in a second.”

…I go with option one.

I knew the boys would get there first so I’ve had more time to come up with some lame lie before I face them: one point to me. I slap on a brave face and a ridiculously wide smile in the hopes that it would distract them from what I have going on all over my clothes. taking a deep breath, I turn the final corner to enter the lair.

“hey bud!” mikey bursts through the rest of the guys and comes skipping towards me. I freeze and simply wait for him to see me in the light. “woah, what happened to you?”

after hearing mikey’s question, everyone starts to crowd in around me, thinking I had been hurt or something on the way here. to their surprise, I have no cuts or scrapes…just a bunch of different types of produce in my hair. they begin to mutter more questions but my mind is too hazy to hear them clearly, opting to stand there and stare into the space behind them. leo notices me zoning out pretty quickly and leads me to the seating area in the middle of the lair by my arm, the rest of the boys following with worry in their eyes.

I sit down on the couch; raph bends down in front of me, donnie sits on my right, mikey hangs over the back of the couch to lean on my left, and leo rests his hands on my shoulders from behind me.

“who did this to you? I’ll kill them, I’ll punch them into the ground I swear to god—“

“raph, calm down. we need to know what happened first before we start going haywire.” I’ve never seen donnie look so aggravated before. it looks like he secretly wants to join in with raph’s immediate anger instead of acting ‘rationally’ this time.

“no need for punching anyone or anything ha! I— uh— tripped while I was walking home and fell straight into a pile of garbage surrounding a dumpster. how clumsy of me ha! I’m so silly. I wasn’t watching where I was going and it was dark so…” my words trail off as I finally look directly at my friends. none of them are believing this story at all.

“tell us the truth, it’s alright. you’re safe here.” leo speaks with such a warm tone, it makes holding back my tears even harder than it already was.

“I’m fine! I promise I’m fine, really I just tripped!” I force my lips into a thin line, trying to twist them into some kind of smile, until mikey pokes at my cheek. I turn to him.

“please tell us what’s wrong.” is he giving me puppy eyes? damn it mikey…

I couldn’t push back my tears any longer and the flood gates exploded. I was in hysterics, sobbing so loudly it bounced off the walls of the lair. I couldn’t stop, each sob rippled through me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. the boys cooed at me, all of them placing a hand somewhere on my body to ground me and to let me know that I’m not alone as I cried. they tried still asking me questions but I couldn’t get out any words, only heartbreaking whimpers left my mouth. they accepted their fate of silent sobs though and simply stayed beside me.

after a while, I’ve calmed down slightly, and I see the boys look at each other and nod in the corner of my blurry eyes. then, all of a sudden, raph and leo run off. they come back not long after with a basin of water, towels and some other things that I can’t quite see cradled in their large hands. my curiosity is answered in a split second though as the four begin to wipe away the dirt that covers me, still allowing me to ride out my cries in the meantime.

raph gets back into his bent position to gently clean my face, donnie and mikey clean down my arms, and leo starts to brush my hair the best that he can. it must be a brush that april keeps here at the lair, since I don’t think I’ve left one here before.

they continued like this - softly wiping and rinsing - until they were sure that they had done all they can do to rid me of this sticky mess, and until I was able to stabilise my breathing and speak somewhat clearly again.

“april is going to be mad that you got ketchup on her hairbrush,” I say lowly between hiccups. leo laughs and assures me that the brush is perfectly fine; no need to worry.

it is silent (apart from the sound of my sniffling) while they put down their tools and clear them away from the couch, until donnie speaks, “we don’t want to push you to talk but we are here to listen if you want to.”

maybe it is finally time to talk about it. as much as I don’t want to, I think I need to. I’m always the one with a bright smile and cheery attitude but I need to let that go for now. I need comfort, and I need to admit that to myself - even if it’s for this singular moment.

I begin to explain the story of the date and how it went terribly wrong - just the vital details to build the story rather than adding my feelings about it. being vulnerable like this isn’t my strong point so I need to prepare myself to talk about that part with truth and from the heart.

I can see the pure rage in raph’s eyes as he sits in front of me, his teeth grinding together and a low growl coming out of him. he goes to say something but donnie stops him with a hand on his shoulder. he gives red a pat and he seems to understand what he is signalling, inhaling and exhaling with his eyes closed before fixing his posture to listen to me again.

“you know, I don’t know if I want raph to rough up him or rough up me at this point,” I let out a laugh to try and soften the atmosphere but the expressions of the boys tell me that it didn’t work. they look confused; sad. “a good rough up might fix whatever is wrong with me, because it’s obviously me. look at me! why else would he have made plans to humiliate me like that? what do I need to punch into shape - the way I look? the way I act?” I laugh again with the same intent as earlier despite knowing that it is going to do nothing to lessen the impact of my words.

“did he specifically make you feel like that?” raph says through gritted teeth, “that you’re not good enough?”

“no, I guess I’ve been feeling that way for a while. he just made it worse - a lot worse.” my eyes start to burn again with more tears. I’m surprised I’m not dehydrated yet.

mikey grabs my face in his hands, his eyes also look clouded with tears, “you are so beautiful. really, you are. I remember when I first saw you I was like ‘woah, they’re even prettier than the humans I see on tv!’ you don’t need to change anything about the way you look, I can tell you that for sure.”

“nor do you need to change anything about your personality or how you act,” donnie chimes in. “why do you think we like you so much? you’re awesome! you’re smart, kind, caring, plus you treat us like we’re golden and we’re literally in the sewers right now,” we all giggle at the last statement he makes.

leo pats me on the head, signally me to look up towards him, “you are the greatest friend we could have ever asked for, and if we need to remind you of that more then we will. you deserve to feel that you’re worthy and loved and I can tell you with certainty that you are when you’re here with us. there’s no need to hide from us, we’ve got you’re back.”

raph grabs my hand, “and seriously, if you want us to go and talk to that guy we will.”

“raph!” the others shout. I laugh at the slight panic hiding in their voices - it’s fully directed at their brother and his fists.

“what?! I said talk not bash into the ground so what do you want from me?!”

#inbox friends #oracleact chats #tmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt imagine #2012 tmnt #2012 tmnt x reader #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt donnie x reader #tmnt mikey x reader

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bluedandelion1 · 8 months

Text

Wukong cares about people. Macaque isn't a saint.

Alright, I've wanted to write this for a while, so here I go. English isn't my first language, so sorry for any typos.

I've been watching so many fananimations of LEGO Monkie Kid. They're all gorgeous, top of the top, excellent, chef kiss and I'm glad the fandom seems to be growing every day.

But I HATE how so many people have portrayed Wukong as an asshole who doesn't care about anyone. Love the animations, they're great but I don't think Wukong is the villain people make him out to be.

Now don't get me wrong, Wukong has made many, many, many, mistakes throughout his life. The thing is, people don't seem to realize that while he messed up, his intentions were good! "Yeah, right, then how is he such a bad mentor?" I'm gonna shut you up right there.

When MK first got the staff, he didn't know how to use it, I agree with you. But Wukong is a milennia old stone monkey who has gone through a lot on his life, getting stronger and stronger with each fight.

"Pfft, what about DBK? You can handle it! Consider it a trial"

That's what he tells MK when said boy asks him what to do with DBK, because for Wukong that fight is easy. He then reassures him that with enough confidence in himself he could take him on. He trusted MK since the first moment and even told him to consider it as a trial. He was evaluating MK during his fight to make sure he had picked the right successor.

And just in case and most probably noticing how nervous he was on his first fight, he kept an eye out on him to make sure to intervene in case MK needed help. Wukong already knew that MK was invincible before locking away some of his powers in the second episode, therefore he was confident that he would succeed. And even if he already knew he was going to defeat DBK, he still watched over him to make sure he wouldn't get hurt.

Following this battle, in the first episode "Bad Weather", MK doesn't call for Wukong's help. He's confronting Red Son when suddenly the staff acts on its own and takes him down to the ground and who appears afterwards? The Monkey King himself! Almost as if he had sensed that MK needed some help with defeating Red Son. Almost as if he had been the one to call for the staff so he could talk with his student. Again, he showed up on his own because he cares.

"Then what about that time he abandoned him?"

He didn't abandon him. To abandon someone is to stop supporting them, to give up completely in someone. Monkey King knew that LBD was coming back but he didn't want either MK or his friends to get hurt.

He's used to doing things on his own! I mean, on JTTW Wukong was always sent ahead to see if there were any demons that would kidnap Tripitaka. And even though he warned his companions numerous times that there were demons under the disguise of innocent people, they wouldn't believe him. So why should he tell MK and his friends that there's an enemy approaching? Every time he had warned other people of other threats, they had never believed him, so why should MK be any different?

I think that's one of the reasons why he didn't even try to defend himself when Pigsy snapped at him. Because he's used to taking the blame. What's the point in trying to do something right if you're going to be blamed for everything going wrong, regardless of how much you try to make it okay? He even tries to keep helping MK through his training with the astral projection throughout the whole season!

So, he searched for the map that would lead him to the rings of the Samadhi Fire, knowing full well that he could end up dying.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! I thought if I could somehow get the Samadhi Fire out of you, without hurting you of course, then I could put it inside myself. Then, I don't know, use it to burn up the Lady Bone Demon or something?"

Let's remember that while it's difficult to hurt Wukong, the Samadhi Fire is one of the powers that could actually kill him. He was willing to risk his life so he'd be able to save not only the whole world, but his friends as well. Do you realize how crazy that sounds? To be willing to give up his own life to save the Earth?

He even says that he wanted try to get the ring out of Mei without hurting her.

Would someone who didn't care about anyone try to make something as painless as possible for the victim? I don't think so.

Alright, let's focus on Macaque now for a bit.

My biggest beef with this guy is that some people seem to paint him as the misunderstood character who never did anything wrong because "Oh, my best friend abandoned me and woe is me!". Yuck.

While Macaque has many good reasons to be angry at Monkey King, that still doesn't give him the right to kidnap and trick MK. It doesn't give him the right to taunt him and make him feel like shit, nor the right to manipulate him and make him think that he's not a good successor.

"Well, you know what that means! There really isn't anything special about you. You're just some kid with a heavy stick!"

Macaque knew that if he hurt MK, eventually Wukong would come out to save him, because he knows that he'll protect him. This is a little theory of mine, but Macaque manipulates shadows, right? Who knows how many times he's watched MK from them? Because I don't think his plan to steal MK's powers was something he thought of in just one minute. No, I'm pretty sure that plan took a while to be thought of.

"Ah, MK. You really are dense, aren't you? You saw a story about a hero who got handed everything? Who didn't have to work for anything? And you thought you were the other guy? The second the hero got real power, he couldn't care less about his friends. That's you, bud."

He tricked him into sharing his insecurities, knowing full well that MK was vulnerable and stressed out about the whole LBD situation, then blamed him for not caring about his friends. He made him doubt whether he truly cares about his friends or not or whether he was even a good person.

And we all know how hard MK's worked to try to get control of his powers, especially after he lost them when LBD took away his staff. MK can be a lot of things: optimistic, a bit smug at times, a bit forgetful... But if there's one thing I'm sure of is that he worked hard to control his powers. He even asked Wukong to limit them so he could control them better, knowing that it'd be harder but he still did it.

And let's take into account that Wukong apologized to MK for how he acted towards him. Macaque, still to this day, hasn't apologized at all. And yet, he keeps mocking Wukong and saying he's the same old Wukong, while he himself is still stuck in the past.

I get that Macaque is angry at Wukong, I really do. But if he were really so angry against him, maybe he should've brought it to Wukong himself instead of using MK. He isn't a saint. He's made mistakes as well. These two are very complicated characters who have gone through a lot, but neither of them are blameless. Macaque isn't a saint, but he does care about some people. And although Wukong has made many mistakes, that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about other people.

Anyways, to finish it off, as MK once said:

"Uh, you know you two are the same, right?"

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #monkey king #sun wukong #six eared macaque #lmk mk #vent #rant #attempt at character analysis #holy fuck this is long #i didn't expect to write that much #but i got carried away #so #hope you liked it #first post in ages #lemme know what you think #these monkeys need THERAPY AND COMMUNICATION

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76blades · 8 months

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I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses.

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her.

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

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shakks · 2 months

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Hard-light Heartline

(2024-02-20) MSPFA | Eagle Time

(Check below the break for some important information!)

you are a RIGHTEOUS ROOMIE. you're chillin. in your ROOM. things are pretty good! no problems here.

This week's been great! You spent it eating takeout and messing with your GUITARS. It's what you do every week, but that's never bothered you before. It's been a good night. What day of the week is it again? Oh right, it's the day where you're expecting a PACKAGE! That's definitely something that's happening now that wasn't happening last week.

---------------------

Well, hello there! It's Waterworks' 14th anniversary, and I was thinking it might finally be time to try something just a little bit different.

Eagle-Time came back (as https://eagle-time.org, so update your bookmarks if you haven't deleted them yet); I'll be watching for suggestions both there, here, on MSPFA, and generally wherever my eyes happen to be. Additionally, I will need to update the information on all three sites and ensure they link together properly. I'm not going to post full updates here on tumblr, but I will post a link to MSPFA and Eagle Time just like before. I also need to take the time to design a logo/thumbnail, and figure out an issue with my webhost that's preventing images from loading 100% of the time. I suppose some cobwebs have built up.

With all that out of the way, there are a few key points.

This isn't Waterworks. I don't intend for this adventure to be comparable in size or scope to Waterworks. I've been yearning to just sit back and tell a story, so that's what I'm going to do.

There will be no Flash animations and gif output will be limited. As much as I love Flash, fighting with the pressure to turn every cool idea into an epic animation has taken its toll on me. I'm going to nip this in the bud and say that there will be no Flash animations at all. There will be gifs, but they will be toned down to keep stress at a manageable level - The adventure will run locked at 18fps, and I will not use any colour gradients. There's some cool stuff you can still do at 18fps. If you're disheartened about the lack of full animations with sound, I'd like to direct you to a musician named Nstryder. I'm a fan of his music and have listened to a lot of it while scoping out the adventure. His music has been an excellent inspiration and I'll try to call some of it out when I hit relevant points in the adventure.

Regular updates will be attempted, but not guaranteed. The adventure itself will also have a set lifetime, whether or not it ends up finished. This one's hard for me. Life has happened. As much as I would like to update every day, it simply isn't possible. But I'm still going to try. I've set a weekly quota for myself to meet (but I'm keeping it to myself for now). If I can't make a day, I will communicate the delay on tumblr as soon as I am able. Additionally - I don't want this adventure to stretch out way past its prime. I've got a tentative end-date in mind for when to shut things off (regardless of the adventure's status), but I'm not willing to commit to it just yet. I'm gonna see how these next few weeks go and build some confidence before settling on a particular date.

I think that's it for now. I've gotta go fix that network error. I'll try to shape up everything else as the week progresses.

Welcome back.

#hard-light heartline #hard-light heartline update #waterworks mspa #extras

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whore-for-chris-evans · 1 year

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Labyrinth

Summary: You're not his first choice. But you realise you can't be mad about it. You don't have the right.

Steve Rogers x gn! reader (not dating though, they're...they were best friends), post Civil War.

[Warnings: angst (sort of unrequited love?), attempt at fluff (?), Hurt and not so much comfort, Sam is a good friend though.]

A/N: no prizes for guessing the reason behind the title. Also this is Stucky if you want it to be. Otherwise it isn't.

"You don't think he cares about you or me?"

"I never said that, Sam. It's just that..." You took a deep breath, "if you and Bucky both ended up in two separate situations where you both needed him, who do you think he'd reach first?" You stared at him, waiting for his answer, nodding and looking away when he remained silent.

"Y/N..." He started.

"He cares about us Sam. He really does care a lot. It's in his nature to care about people, that's what makes him so amazing." You sighed, wishing you felt differently about this. "It's just that...no matter what happens, Bucky knows perfectly well that Steve will always reach him when he needs help. You and me, we're another story. He will come for us, but only if and when he can. Bucky has the assurance of 'always'. We don't. We know deep down that if Bucky is in trouble, Steve will go to him first, and us second. We have to keep a backup for ourselves. Bucky will never need a backup."

A sudden realisation dawned upon him, and Sam watched you intently. He knew what was going on in your mind.

"I'm not mad at him for that, and I'm not jealous of Bucky. I swear I'm not." You continued, wrapping your hands around the coffee mug and shuffling closer to your best friend. "Steve and Bucky...they've known each other all their lives, they have a bond that runs deeper than that of lifelong friends. They're two halves of the same soul at this point. So I get it, all of it. I truly do. I just..." You drew in a shaky breath. "There's nothing to do about it really. It's good to prioritise people, else you'd be all over the place. Honestly, it's heartwarming too, watching the two of them with each other. I've never seen Steve smile more than he does around Bucky. So...it's okay. I'm okay. Or I will be. Whatever. It's fine."

Sam pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, then in his usual deadpan fashion, he dropped the bombshell.

"You love him."

You snapped your head up. "What-"

"We all love him, deeply. But you're in love with him."

Uh-oh.

You turned your gaze away from him, clenching your teeth to avoid crumbling. You knew he was right, but for the life of you, you couldn't accept it out loud. It would only hurt so much more. Sam, however, found all the answers he needed in your silence.

"I know what you're gonna say - I'm selfish, I'm crazy, and I'm overreacting. I understand that." You look down at your lap.

"Is that really what you think I was gonna say?"

"It's true, regardless."

"You know everything you're feeling is valid, right? You're not a bad person because of this."

"Still wish I didn't feel all of it. Sucks to have a heart."

"You should tell him."

"I can't."

"Not about Bucky. About you. He deserves to know."

"I can't tell him that either. Don't get me started on that conversation, please. I've had it with myself way too many times. Look, we're ex-Avengers, currently on the run. We have plenty of stuff to worry about, so this will fade. It only hurts this much right now."

Steve swallowed, trying to ease the tightness in his chest as he silently stood behind you two, listening to you talk. It all made sense now - you suddenly being short with him, refusing to let him come with you as you left for Budapest earlier that month, the cold shoulder you had been giving him all the time recently. He understood it all too well now; you were hurt. And you thought he might leave you alone to get to Bucky first.

Were you right though?

Steve used to pride himself on being dependable and loyal, but for the first time ever, he realised, much to his shock, that he couldn't answer that question with absolute honesty without knowing the reply would break your heart even further.

Uh-oh.

He sniffled, then cursed himself for it, because now you two were both looking back at him, Sam's expression being one of mild surprise and shit, and yours being that of pure shock.

"How long have you been standing there?" You asked, sharply, your voice hoarse.

"I'll give you two some space." Sam slid out of the vicinity quickly, his place now occupied by Steve's six-foot, two-hundred-pound frame.

"Look I'm sorry-" you stuttered out.

"If it's for pushing me away, then yes, you owe me an apology. Because that hurt." He said, doing his best to keep his tone level and calm.

"That...yes, that, and also-"

"Otherwise there's nothing to apologise for." He shot down whatever you were going to reply with.

You sat in awkward silence for a minute before he spoke up again, "Is it true, what Sam said?"

"Sam said a lot of things, Rogers." You said flatly.

"Do you love me?" He asked quietly.

You debated with yourself over the best way to respond to this, then shrugged nonchalantly. "No more than everyone else does."

That's a lie, even I can tell, Steve thought.

He patted your knee, making you look up at him, then stared deeply into your eyes. "Come here," he said softly, opening his arms.

You looked up at him with narrowed eyes, before giving in and letting him pull you into himself.

And that's when the dam broke.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered and he shook his head.

"Don't be, please, sweetheart."

"It's true," you croaked out in response to his earlier question, as you cried into his shirt. He rubbed your back slowly, resting his chin on top of your head while holding back his own tears.

The words were on the tip of his tongue. he was so ready and willing to say it and yet...it felt shallow when he said them aloud in his head. He didn't think telling you he felt the same would mean much in this moment. So he kept quiet, choosing to simply hold you instead, doing his best to physically comfort you.

Because as much as he hated to admit it...you were unfortunately right. Bucky was his number one, and even though you were an extremely close second...that's just it - you were, after all, second.

And no confession from him would take that away.

--------------------------------------------------

[I'm sorry too.

Please reblog and/or leave some feedback if you liked this. I'd appreciate it a lot <3]

@slut-for-chrisevans @royalwriteroftheuniverse @nana1000night @jamneuromain @nekoannie-chan @peace-love-fanfiction @simpforsupersoldiers @averageambivert @breethebee7 @teardrop-on-guitar @sarahrogersevans @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @heli0s-writes @rodrikstark @steverogerssimpp @mainly-marvel

Image from Pinterest.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x gn!reader #chris evans fanfiction #steve rogers angst #labyrinth #sapphire rogers #Spotify

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theandromedastar · 11 months

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Success Stories ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠`⁠ʔ

✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯

My posts on success stories seem to do well anyways, so here's so more to help motivate you. :')

Revising that my dog didn't run away: this one is more of a tear jerker. So I have a little Pomeranian dog, and for the time being he was being kept outside because we were doing house remodeling that had wood dust and other chemicals in the air that would be bad for him- so I thought keeping him outside would be safe. My dad decided to let him out of his closed area, and for a while my dog was just having fun running around! I decided to take a nap and just relax for the day since I had to do some writing earlier lol. Anyways, after I woke up, it was already late and around 6-7 pm, my dad walks in and he goes "is the dog in here?" while bursting in my room, and I said "no." and he just kinda scrambled off. My gut feeling just KNEW something was up, and I felt like shit for a good few seconds. I decided to try revising in case of the worst case scenario happening - having some more context, our house is literally next to a busy open street, if our dog got loose the chances of him being run over were extremely high. So anyways, after I "revised" (i simply stated "i have nothing to worry about, my dog is safe and in his house that he has outside), I just persisted. Throughout the day my parents and sisters avoided talking about my "missing" dog because they knew if I heard that he was gone, id have a meltdown. However they are not good at whispering or keeping secrets, so whenever i overheard them talking I would just affirm and remained calm. At around 10pm, my sister comes in my room annoyed ASF and this was the interaction:

Sis: do you know what just happened?

Me: Huh?

Sis: Oh...sorry we didn't tell you, *recaps what I just said*.

Me: the dogs missing?!

Sis: no, my dad went to go check in the dogs house and he was in there! He was inside of a hole where there were light cables ...blah blah blah.

So in conclusion for this story: by persisting that my dog never escaped and was in his house the whole time, he was. Simple.

✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯

Having desired fanfictions written: this is more of a funny one that I do but just noticed that I do it. Whenever I join a fandom and absolutely drool over a character, i always want specific fanfictions written for them that don't exist when I join the fandom. So I'm always like "damn it'd be nice to have a fanfiction that does x" and then usually a few hours later a fanfiction with EXACTLY what I wanted is posted. Granted - they sometimes aren't written that well but regardless...they exist 😏🤞

✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯

Remember how I was struggling with feeling pretty? I started using Slade's Incarnated sub to help. For the first few nights I looped that bad boy on repeat all night, and yeah the results were great! My acne faded and I lost tummy fat, and overall I felt so much prettier. For extra context I had some meltdowns before this (three to be exact) where I looked at myself in the mirror and burst into tears because I felt ugly. Now, after reading Slade's description for the sub, I realized that one of the benefits was sorta listed like: this sub works by also you not needing to overused it- which made me stop using it completely for one night. That night that I stopped using it, I woke up with some of the clearest skin I've had in a while and also longer lashes blah blah blah... basically how Slade said the sub would work. It's been a few days where I've done this and I've noticed that the results from the sub seem to be multiplying very well, I've started to feel even better by the day about how I feel and I know what I wanna look like etc. etc. I also used to have an awful neck hump cus of my shitty posture, and now it's basically gone!! My back so smooth now and my posture is also getting better lol dw.

All in all, ive gotten prettier both internally and externally, and i am so happy about it!

✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿✯¸.•´¨•✿ ✿•¨`•.¸✯

#manifest #manifestation #manifesting #affirmations #affirmyourreality #self concept #loa #affirm and persist #law of the universe #void state #sucess #success stories #success story #loa success

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