#kay n pals

[kaysayshey]

❝ do i got you way too open to be open? ❞ [7:10 pm]

gaining the attention of the master diluc ragnvindr wasn't something you had actively attempted. rather, you found yourself running into him on an almost weekly basis. how many times he heard that squeal of "my apologies, master diluc!" for some reason, the honorific sounded overtly formal when you spoke it - hence why he asked you to do away with it.

getting him to trust you felt like it took ages. at first he was guarded, keeping you at an arm's length at all times. that was on a good day. yet despite his now admittedly halfhearted attempts to push you away, you managed to worm your way into his good graces, earning you some of the softest and sweetest smiles you thought you'd ever seen. when his cheeks tinged pink and you cooed over how absolutely perfect he was, you found yourself on the receiving end of his quick tongue, rebukes only serving to make you giggle more.

"i believe you are mistaken. i'm not cute."

"oh, my apologies. would you prefer dashing? handsome? which adjective do you think best suits you?" you countered. archons, the way he flustered was enough to send your heart to palpitations. all rosy and indignant and absolutely dear.

and when he huffed out your name followed by an almost whined 'please,' you were alight with laughter, much to his dismay. diluc crossed the distance between you two, forever grateful for the privacy of his office, and all but dragged you into his arms.

"one day, darling, can't i have one day without your teasing?" despite his words, he buried his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling against you.

you hummed lightly, reaching a hand up to run through his soft locks. "perhaps i do owe you that much." the words were lilting and playful, and you didn't miss how he moved into you more, arms tightening around your waist. his touch was almost unbearably warm, yet you found yourself relaxing even further into his hold.

"i missed you this morning," he began, hands lifting, trailing up and down your spine as thought mapping out every curve and plane of your body. as though he was unfamiliar with it.

"oh? just this morning?"

he breathed out the heaviest sigh against your neck, so warm and fast that it made you chortle in a fit of laughter.

"please don't make me say it," he huffed, far too indignant for such a usually well put-together gentleman. surely you would spare him from vocalizing his affections just this once?

when you hummed in acceptance and leaned against him, his lips curled up into a smile against your neck, his quiet 'thank you' the only sound in the quiet study. you basked in the comfort of his hold, saving the rest of your quick-witted responses for another day.

an: written as the first part of a series of drabbles inspired by kehlani's album, "it was good until it wasn't." it's a fantastic album, and it has sparked a lot of creativity in me. i'd also love to tag my darling cindy, @vs-redemption, for her lovely soft sunday. may our favorite husbando bring us joy! reblogs are much appreciated.

#diluc x reader #diluc x y/n #diluc drabbles #genshin fluff #genshin drabbles #genshin impact diluc #soft sunday #kay n pals #genshin impact drabbles #genshin diluc

[indecisivekitty]

Lads and Pads

TF141 x fem!reader

wc: i ain’t gotta clue pal (tumblr lemme copy n paste all the words plz on mobile)

genre: fluff, does comedy count if it’s kind of funny

warnings: men

“I dinnae understand.”

Gaz shakes his head and sighed. “She’s on her period and needs pads, what is there not to understand, Soap?”

Exasperated and confused, Soap picked up two random boxes of pads. “Aye! But I don’t ken what any of this fucking shite means. What’s the difference between a regular one and one tha’ isn’t?” Soap looked back to the shelf. “And why do those ones say 1 or 3??”

Gaz opened his mouth before closing it again. “That’s actually a good question—I don’t understand the numbers either.”

Pushing the shopping cart into the isle Gaz and Soap were in, Price made his way towards them with Ghost following behind. Price frowned when he saw Gaz and Soap with as many boxes as they could hold in their arms. “Surely our lady doesn’t need that many? All from different brands too?”

“Cap, do ye ken the difference between a pad tha’ is 1 and a pad tha’s 3?” Soap asks.

Price blinked. “Fuck you just say?”

Gaz nodded. “Then we’ll be buying everything for our lass.”

Ghost tilted his head at the load of pads that Gaz and Soap dropped into the cart beside all the food and snacks they were buying for you. “Maybe it’s a size thing? How big the pad is? ‘Cause this one has pictures of different sizes shown on its box.”

Soap had his hands on his hips while he glanced at the cart then to Simon. “Sizes for wha’ though? The size of someone’s cun-”

Gaz smacked Soap on the back of his head before he could finish. Simon narrowed his eyes at Soap, questioning the Scot’s thought process while Price shook his head and sighed.

“Kay, lads, let’s pay and get back to our woman.” Price said, pushing the cart out the aisle with the rest of the men following in suit—though Gaz and Ghost annoyed Soap endlessly about his stupid question.

Ghost eyed Soap judgmentally. “Why the fuck would there be sizes for someone’s cunt labeled on the box? A pussy is not a clothing item.”

Soap glared at Gaz who was laughing. “How am I s’pose to ken what the numbers are fer? Everyone’s different, aye? Maybe there’s sizes?? I dinnae fucking know!”

Price stopped walking abruptly and pinched his nose. “Fucking muppets.”

Lying comfortably on your bed with a heating pad resting on your abdomen, your head turns towards the door of your room opening.

“Alright, love?” Price asked with an affectionate smile on his face, carrying grocery bags with the rest of your boys behind him.

Eyes softening, you beckoned them closer. “Yes, though I didn’t hear you guys come in.”

“We bought you some pads. Thought maybe you might need some more.” Gaz said.

Simon sat on the edge closest to you to stroke your face but raised a brow at Gaz’s words. “Not even just ‘some’—Soap and Gaz damn near bought the whole fucking isle of pads. There’s a shit more bags still in the boot.”

“Aye but ain’t it better to be prepared?” Soap crossed his arms.

“Yeah, but prepared for what? Menstruation ain’t a war.” Simon drawled.

Soap shook his head grimly. “But the bloodshed.”

Looking back and forth at Soap and Simon bickering, you laughed quietly at their antics before yawning. Gaz, who lied beside you, reached for your hand to kiss it lovingly as Price on the other hand interrogated Soap about his knowledge.

Closing your eyes, you start to fall asleep to the sounds of bickering and the occasional touches from Simon and Gaz.

“Ye think our bonnie needs backup?”

“Shut it.”

a/n: VWRY NOT EDIFED! heuheuehehueh

#— 𝒌𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #simon riley x reader #soap mactavish x reader #john price x reader #gaz x reader #call of duty #call of duty x reader #mw2 #mw3 #soap x reader #ghost x reader #captain price x reader #kyle garrick x reader #tf141 x reader #tf141 x you

[silverzoomies]

Turkish Delight

peter maximoff x reader smut

chapter 1: sweet talkin'

warnings: shameless smut, porn without plot, phone sex, mutual masturbation, best friends, dirty talk

word count: 6,368

a/n: hiyaaa !! i'm back with more filth !! peter speaks russian in this one. i've seen people use russian in place of sokovian language before. and since i've been learning russian for a while, i thought i'd give it a shot !! if you're familiar with the language and anything seems off, please let know asap !! as usual, apologies if peter seems ooc, or if my writing isn't up to par !!

tag list (if i forgot you, please remind me !!): @dewberryobssesed @violetharmonscupcake @kaismanwich @jellyluvr @taintandviolent @ahoyladiesz @scene-and-dandylover @quickandsilvers @luttic @billielourdslays

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Chillaxing on the sofa in his mom’s basement, Peter drew out a sigh. His hooded eyes gaped at the TV screen. As he channel surfed, his thumb tapped lazily on the remote. Peter stopped to check each channel in abrupt intervals. Afternoon cable was boring as hell today. It failed to grasp his short lived attention span.

Seinfeld reruns? He saw just about all of ‘em. Soap Operas? Those were more his mom’s thing. Huge pass. Nature documentaries? Could be cool. Guess it depended on which one, though.

Oh. It was the one about the polar bear’s great journey across the arctic! Nifty enough. Except, Peter saw that one three or four times already now. Скучный (boring). Так скучно (So boring).

‘Kay, soooo…TV was kind of a no-go. Instead, Peter popped on the PS1 and settled for a game of Metal Gear Solid. The game’s opening intro was a little too slow for his liking, but Peter forced himself to focus. It sucked he was so antsy today, so fidgety and impatient. He needed some kind of distraction. Any distraction. And he needed one fast.

Peter bounced a leg, half invested in the game’s dialogue. His fingers absentmindedly flicked the controller buttons. Not even five minutes into playing, he found himself frustrated and bored again. This time around, he figured some company might ease his ennui.

He darted across the arm of the couch to a side table. Over a stack of comic books and empty cans of soda, he snatched the receiver to a Garfield phone. Peter dialed a number in less than a second. Too fast, at first. The phone didn’t even register his request. Rolling his eyes, he dialed the number again. Slower this time.

Peter kept the vibrant hunk of orange plastic between his cheek and shoulder. Buzzy ringing echoed on the other end of the line, as he waited for the recipient to pick up. The time it took for a voice to finally respond felt like fifty billion years. Your voice. One of Peter’s closest comrades. The pal he shared most, if not all, of his free time with.

There were days when you visited, and you laid back on the sofa with him. With your legs stretched over his lap and a magazine in your hands, you relaxed. Peter would always do his usual, playing whatever game he ‘bought’ from the local K-Mart. Every time he cursed himself for making a misstep, you giggled. You knew how frustrating it was for him, if he wasn't a hundred leaps ahead of everything. And just to get back at you - but also to hear you laugh again - he’d reach over and dig his fingers into your belly.

He loved that it took such minimal effort to make you laugh. You always had an easygoing warmth about you. And maybe you were also pretty cute too. Sometimes, the crook of your smile made him blush. Oh, and you didn't mind duking it out in Mario Kart sometimes. That was also kinda cool. What more could a lonesome guy ask for? Просто друзья. Ничего больше (Just friends. Nothing more). Yeah. He could be content with that. No problem.

Ten minutes into conversation with you, Peter breathed a yawn into the receiver.

“You know, I’m surprised you have the patience for talking on the phone.” You joked.

The speakers roared with a soft buzz in his ear. Peter didn’t register your words at first. Blinking lazily, he tapped the PS1 controller buttons at rapid speed. In the game, Snake fought off an onslaught of bad guys. Peter faked his offense with a scoff.

“Seriously? Man, what’s up with that? It’s like everyone thinks I can’t do stuff at normal speed without goin’ berserk.” He said, cursing under his breath as Snake got gunned down again.

A small part of him wished you were there, with your legs over his lap, cracking jokes at his expense. Over the phone, you emitted a gentle laugh.

“Because you have? Multiple times, dude!” You said.

Surely you could hear Peter’s eyes roll in his skull.

“Oh, yeah? Name five.” he pressed.

The fast paced clicking of the buttons echoed like a trill in the basement. He overheard the sound of rustling as you shifted in place. If Peter had to guess, he’d bet his left foot you were still lazing around in bed. It was a Saturday, after all. With the hour tipping on the edge of late afternoon. You always moved at the slowest of speeds on your off days.

“I’m just saying! I totally get it. Even I don’t have the patience for chats on the phone sometimes.” You said, and a squeaky yawn followed.

More rustles scuffed from your end, as if you moved to stretch. Keeping his gaze fixed on the flickering, CRT screen; Peter followed flashes of light from each grunt’s gun. His reaction time proved effortless as always. His methods, not so much.

“Nah, it’s cool.” Peter mumbled after a beat, “Doesn’t bother me much if I’m talkin’ to you.  You’re not boring, first of all. And on the off chance I do get bored, I can just say - hey, babe, I’m gonna hang up. And you won’t get-uhhh…” He lingered on his next thought, distracted with gunning down more masked baddies, “You won’t get, like, butt hurt over it."

“Why would I?” You laughed, “Did someone seriously get offended by that?”

“My aunt did once. She got mad pissed ‘cuz I told her I was ‘kinda bored’ on the phone. She made me pass it to my mom, so she could rat me out. Said I showed a ‘lack of consideration'; ‘er whatever.” Peter paused, brows furrowed. In Metal Gear, Snake perished yet again. Peter rolled his eyes once more, “She’s kinda mental, though. это возмутительно (it’s outrageous).”

Your only response was a quiet hum of acknowledgement. Peter broke the silence that followed.

“Hey, you’re not busy today, are you? Wanna do somethin’ later?” He asked, knowing full well you had jack shit to do.

“I don’t know. I’m feeling soooooo lazy today.” You playfully teased.

The soft pattern of your breathing sent electric tingles down Peter’s neck. Shuddering, he shook off those unexpected chills. Another beat, and Peter groaned, as Snake perished over a low poly landscape. You gotta take it slow and stealthy, man - Peter reminded himself.

“Хорошо (okay)? So? Come be lazy over here then.” He replied, “Tell you what. If you do, I’ll go ‘n snag some of those Turkish delights you like. The same ones my mom gotcha for your birthday. Remember? From Sokovia?”

Your voice perked up instantly, bringing a cheesy smile to his face. Homely fondness simmered in his chest, and Peter felt himself blush. He pulled his lip between his teeth, pausing his game to focus more on conversation. Leaving Snake stranded in the middle of the snow.

“Oh my gosh!! No way?? I haven’t had those in forever! Seriously, the ones from Sokovia?” You chimed.

“Hell yeah! But you gotta get outta bed first, dingus. C’monnnn.” Peter whined, “I’m so bored here, babe. Oh! I totally forgot. I finally got my hands on a Gameboy Color too. Swear on my life I paid for it this time. You could come over ‘n try it ouuuuuut.” He teased in a sing-song voice, wiggling his brows.

“Gameboys and Turkish delights? You’re spoiling me today, Peter! What’s the occasion?” You joked over the line.

He shrugged, forgetting you couldn’t see him, “Bored outta my friggin’ skull. That’s what.” After a beat, he awkwardly added, “And maybe I like hangin’ with you? Do I even need a reason?”

“Well, I gotta admit…you had me at Turkish delights.” You feigned a dreamy tone.

Peter chuckled again. Under his breath, he muttered softly, “ Это все, что тебе нужно, да (That’s all you need, huh)?”

“Huh?” You asked, oblivious to his comment, “What’d you say? I didn’t catch that last part.”

Peter ran a hand through his silver locks, leaving his hair loose and messy. Cradling the phone in his other hand, he knitted his lips to one side.

“Nothin’. Don’t worry about it. You want me to come get you? ‘Cuz I can.” He checked his digital watch, decked out in a Star Wars theme, “I can right now, if you-”

“It’s fine. I love going out with you, but I really don’t wanna deal with motion sickness today. I just had lunch too. No offense!” Another yawn rang over the phone, hitching into a squeal at the end. Peter didn’t realize he was smiling so big until his cheeks started to hurt, “I’ll just drive over. Sound good?”

Peter rolled his eyes, sarcastically groaning. He threw his head back into the sofa cushions, playing up his fake frustrations.

“Auuuuuuugh! But that’ll take years.” He dragged a hand down his face, pulling his cheeks under his fingertips, “Is this ‘cuz you blew chunks last time?? You know that doesn’t bother me, right? Everyone does it, babe.”

You made a noise of disgust. Something like an eugh , “Please, don’t remind me. That sucked so much. Yeah, no, I’d rather not. I really need a break from it.” You sighed again. Kind of a bummer, but he could deal.

“It’s whatever you want, I guess. So, when are you gonna head out?” Peter asked, sitting up on the sofa and putting the controller aside.

He bounced a leg at rapid speed, his knee moving in a flesh tone blur of motion. Less from agitation, more due to anticipation.

“I’ll leave soon. Just give me a few minutes. Think you can wait?” You chuckled in that sweet, quirky way again. The melody gave Peter butterflies. Ignoring the fluttering in his belly, he pushed himself off the couch. Grabbing the base of the Garfield phone, Peter cradled the lil guy in an arm. He figured he may as well get dressed, and freshen up before you arrived, “It’s so cold today. I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet! I’m still bundled up in my undies. Got your jacket on too. You left a Game n Watch in the pocket, by the way. I didn’t even know they still made those!”

“Yeah. I totally called that one. Get up already, ya slacker.” Peter joked trapping the phone between his cheek and shoulder again. He scratched his bare chest. His fingertips grazed the sparse covering of white hairs there. Yawning, he nodded, “Okay. Okay. Okay. Sure, just-”

Something about your last statement finally clicked in Peter’s brain. He rapidly blinked, shaking his head fast enough to give himself whiplash. Peter did a quadruple take.

“Подожди (wait)! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, waiiiiiit …hold on a sec.” He narrowed his eyes, “Say that again?”

“Say what again? The part about the Game n Watch?” You asked, and Peter’s brows furrowed.

“N-Nah. The…did you just…have you been lyin’ around in your underwear this whole time?”

“Uh, yeah? Why? Is this revolutionary information?” You chuckled.

“In my jacket? Like, I didn’t hear that wrong? What’d you like…sleep in it ‘er somethin’?” Peter arched a silver brow, pressing the phone handset closer to his cheek. As if doing so might somehow help him hear you more clearly.

It really wasn’t that big of a deal either way. You borrowed his jackets all the time. Peter never thought anything of it before this conversation. Aside from the fact that - when you did return them, he loved the sweet scent you left behind. The smell of your perfume, with the added bonus of your natural pheromones…

Ебать (Fuck)! Why was he even thinking about this? The two of you had such a casual thing goin’ on. But now, Peter thought of you in a different light. Something friskier. Not that he meant to. Maybe killer boredom + cute friend = horny speedster. Or perhaps the planets aligned in some totally off-the-wall way.

Whatever the case, Peter’s mind raced on autopilot. He pictured the way you might look right now. In your room, spread across your bed in nothing but your underwear and - Ебена мать (Holy shit) - his jacket. With your long legs bare, your knees bumping together as you squeezed your thighs shut. Tummy exposed. And your tits-

Woooooooah there! Slow down, casanova! Peter shouldn’t be…nah, he really shouldn’t be wondering what your breasts looked like. Ppfffbbbbt …’kay, so, maybe in the past he thought about it once or twice. But what dude wouldn't contemplate the hidden mystery of a pal's titties sometimes, ah?

“Well, so what if I did? That doesn’t weird you out, does it?” You asked, a careful waver in your voice.

“Uhhhh…nahhh, babe. Just…” Peter shifted in place, rerouting his thoughts, “Just…got one hell of an image in my head. Might’ve pictured you like that for no particular reason at all.”

Lucky for him, you didn’t seem to think anything of his confession.

“Not much to imagine…” You replied. Сомнительно (Doubtful).

“I mean…pffbbbttt…sure, yeah. Maybe not.” Peter awkwardly laughed, scratching the back of his neck. His voice dropped, a little more hushed, “Unless…you’re wearin’ some really cute panties over there.” Again, he laughed, rushing out a quick, “I’m kiddin’. I’m kiddin’. I’m kiddin’. I’m totally messin’. Just bustin’ your balls, babe.”

Except…he sorta wasn’t. Peter found himself oh-so curious. Twisting the phone's orange wire around his finger, he anticipated your reaction. Anxious you might think him weird for pushing things too far. Never had the two of you charted this kind of territory. It was a minefield, with a 95% chance neither one would make it out unscathed.

“I guess? I think they’re kind of cute.” You added, innocent as ever. Awesome. You weren’t peeved at him, at least. Peter brought the phone to his chest, exhaling an anxious breath to calm his racing heart. When he put the phone to his ear again, he figured you’d moved on. But your cadence shifted. To test the boundaries of your friendship, you teased, “They’re pretty small on me, though.”

Ah. Ah. Интересно. Очень интересно (Interesting. Very interesting). What an unexpected but totally wicked development. Peter lowered himself slowly onto the couch, setting the phone's base on the side table. He eased backwards into the cushions, and tightened his twisting of the phone wire. Swallowing hard, Peter found he had difficulty focusing. Especially with his imagination running so goddamn wild.

“Yeah? …How small is pretty small?” He dared to ask.

Long seconds of silence ticked by at the pace of a narcoleptic sloth. If Peter weren’t so eager to hear what you had to say, he may have torn his hair out. Over the line, you laughed.

“Small enough they barely cover my ass? Why are you so curious all of a sudden?” You cooed.

Peter fluttered his inky eyes, nibbling chapped skin on his lip. Fuzzy pink swarmed the rest of his face, as his mind conjured images of you so effortlessly. Clear as day. Heat stirred to life in his groin, and Peter pictured the way your plush cheeks might hold in tight painties. His breath hitched.

“I-uh…” Peter felt the heat in his cheeks creep down his neck, flustered at lightspeed, “Just thinkin’...maybe you should do somethin’ about that?” He gritted his teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose. What a lame response, “Черт возьми (damn it)!” He huffed under his breath, too quiet for you to hear.

Toying with this newly discovered sexual tension, Peter humorously asked-

“Sooooooo…what color?”

You giggled into the receiver, airy and light. His body registered the noise somewhere , down south of his belly. He wondered if you were as flustered as him. And the visual of your bashful face and shy smile had his heartbeat ramping up to mach 10.

“What? A-Are you for real asking me…oh my god, dude!” Your giggles turned into goofy snorts. Which he found so endearing. Once you composed yourself, you spoke again. Though, your tone came off as more flirtatious, “If you really wanna know so bad…then fine. They’re black. Lacy. With a little bow on the front.”

Дерьмо (Shit)...

His silver brows soared high, disappearing under his bangs. Paying little attention to his instinctive actions, Peter guided his free hand between his thighs. Inwardly, he told himself he was only adjusting his uncomfortable hard-on. ‘Cuz it’d be totally weird if he did anything else…right? Best to ignore the movement of his thumb, as it absentmindedly circled his bulge.

“Huh…that’s so…” Peter blinked, clearing his throat and masking his nerves with a chuckle, “‘Kay, I’ll be up front with you, babe. That sounds cute as hell. Very nice.”

“Really? Oh, please, Peter. They’d be cute on anybody.” You scoffed.

“Uh huh…” He smirked, dropping his tone even lower, “‘Cept, now that I’m really thinkin’ about it? I’m bettin’ they look criminally cute on you.” Peter lazily smirked.

You laughed, breathless like you ran a thousand miles, “Wh-...what are we even doing right now? Seriously, why am I talking to you about my-” The uneasiness in your voice bled through the line.

Your concern was for good reason. Nevertheless, Peter interrupted you mid-sentence.

“Easy there, chuckles. We’re just chatting. Nothin’ too unusual, right? We’ve had some seriously raunchy conversations before. Remember? That time I got laid on a golf course? You told me about that time some dude shot a load in your eye. What’s the difference, anyway?” Peter grimaced, as he recalled your story from eons ago.

You giggled yet again, “Peter, you know damn well what the difference is!” You clarified with a sigh, still playful. The phone wire went slack around his finger, as Peter second guessed himself. He parted his lips, on the cusp of apologizing. Bringing one hand up to the phone, he held it loosely. Your sugary voice chimed again, “I’m kinda wondering, though…what would you think if I told you I’m topless right now?”

His grip compressed around the handset.

“Topless, huh?” Peter cast a quick glance at his hard-on, twitching painfully under his boxers. His mind jumped straight to sinful places again. Peter thought about what your tits probably look like, embraced in his jacket. Nipples hard, grazing the inner-lining. He swallowed, “What’re you tryna tell me? You gonna drive over here in nothin’ but that?” Peter quipped.

A more sultry laugh melted through the receiver. Peter trembled, as your smooth voice coaxed him like a tempting song. His free palm squeezed his bulge, putting pressure to his length over fabric. Peter’s brows turned inward, and he fluttered his eyes shut.

“I guess that wouldn’t be so bad, if it wasn’t so cold outside. It’s freezing today. I don’t know how you can run as fast as you do when the weather’s like this.” Your tone disguised itself with lighthearted innocence again, “It’s not any warmer in my room either. My nipples could cut glass. They’re, like, soooo hard.”

Peter adjusted himself on the sofa, giving the swell of his bulge another teasing squeeze.

“ Ты маленькая соблазнительница (you little temptress)...”  His hot breath fanned the phone.

“I love it when you talk like that…” You replied, “Even if I have no idea what you’re saying. It sounds really hot, to be totally honest.”

“Oh, yeah?” Peter teased his lip with his teeth, speaking in a more flirtatious voice; buttery smooth, “ Я забыл вынести мусор (I forgot to take out the trash)...” For added effect - just to embarrass you more - he tacked on a husky moan.

Peter made himself blush, as the sound came out far more pornagraphic than he intended. The rasp of his voice scraped through the line in a hushed, “ Oh, yeah, baby. ”

The erotic tension you felt from his teasing was palpable, even over the phone. Peter could sense the shift in the way you gasped. So faint, so shy, so cute.

“Oh…oh, wow...uhm…” You tried concealing your bashfulness with more of those candy coated giggles. But Peter could practically hear the blood racing to your cheeks, “What’s that mean? Something good, I hope.”

Peter bit his tongue, lips turning in a cheeky grin.

“It means you’re really turnin’ me on…”

Another hesitant pause fell between the two of you, before you scoffed.

“Oh my god, no it doesn’t! I can hear you laughing!” You griped, snickering along with Peter. A few more tension heavy beats pulsed over the line. You spoke again, “Hey…I’m sorry. Can I put things on pause for a sec? I just wanted to ask…are you okay with this?”

“Are you?” Peter gently asked, giving you ample time to think about it.

“I don’t know…maybe…” You whispered, “Isn’t this, like, super weird for you?”

“I mean…suuuuuuure. It’s totally weird. If you kept goin', I wouldn't be into it...at all...” He bullied you with a playful edge, hoping you could read the flirtatious undertone in his voice.

“Ohhhhh…you wouldn't be?” Judging by the saucy lilt in your voice, you most definitely caught on, “You know what would be even weirder?”

Peter adjusted on the sofa again. Getting comfortable, he laid on his back. His taut legs stretched across the cushions, and Peter propped his head on the couch’s arm.

“Whazzat? Enlighten me, babe. I’m listenin’. You got my full attention.” He teased.

“Your full attention, huh? I must be doing something right.” You snickered, “So…you know how I said I love it when you talk…like that?” Your voice wavered, “What I really meant was-uhm…when you do that on the phone…it makes me kind of horny.”

His brown hues burst open, wider than ever. Peter’s pupils dilated, expanding as far as the universe itself. He swallowed again, his mouth falling open. Your filthy confession set his arousal ablaze, making his dick twitch. As heated desire took over, Peter couldn’t restrain himself. He snuck his fingers under the waistband of his boxers, fingertips gliding over silver hairs. A small piece of him almost felt guilty for doing so.

“It does, huh? Хорошо знать (Good to know).” Peter whispered, tenderly grasping his shaft.

You made a naughty squeak of a noise in response, “Y-Yeah, Peter, I’m serious. You really have to stop doing that.”

“Почему (Why)? Are you soakin’ yourself over it? Gettin’ a lil wet? It’s cool. You can tell me…” Peter heckled, expelling a breath as he gave his dick a single tug.

“Oh, I bet you wanna know all about that, huh? You’re so bad, Quickie...” You teased, clicking your tongue.

Peter’s ears burned, turning pink as he took in the coquettish nature of your voice. Scoffing, he feigned his indignance.

“What?! Hey, nah nah nah! You started this! Это несправедливо, черт возьми (it’s not fair. Dammit)!” Peter laughed, carefree with you as always, “You can’t seriously drop a bombshell like that and expect me not to-”

“Not to come running?” You hummed, sweet tempered, “I’m just messing with you, baby. But since we’re on the topic…I made such a mess of these little panties. Just from listening to your voice.”

Peter couldn’t even pretend he didn’t like the sound of ‘baby’ on your tongue.

“Oh, man…anything but the panties…” He joked, “You should-uh…you should save yourself some trouble. Y’know…take ‘em off, maybe? Might be more comfortable.” Peter hinted, playing nonchalant, “Just tryna be a good friend. Give you some advice. You should for sure take it.”

“But I’m already so cold…” You whimpered, “Your jacket’s so warm. Smells good too. Really good. But it’s not enough to keep me covered.” You spoke with flirtatious innocence, and Peter played along.

“No harm done, принцесса (princess). I’ll warm you up if you need me to.” He reassured, sweet talking you over the phone, “Ты думаешь, что я не позабочусь о тебе? (Do you think I won't take care of you)?" Peter mumbled again. He listened to your sickly sweet laughs, before asking, “So…do you get like this every time we talk on the phone?”

“Mmmm…maybe.” You hummed, “What if I said yes?” You shuffled around again, and Peter’s mind jumped elsewhere. He imagined you shed yourself of damp, black lace. Leaving you wanton and needy in nothing but his jacket, “You know…we’ve been talking about me a lot this whole time. You wanna tell me what you’re wearing? I don’t really have a visual.”

“Oh…me?” Your request caught Peter off guard.

“Yeah, you. Who else, blockhead?” You playfully quipped, smoothing your voice to say, “You don’t have to be shy. I just wanna know, so I can think about taking it off of you.”

Peter didn’t know he could blush this much. Puffing a bashful laugh, he looked down at his body. Mostly nude and toned enough. He had his x-gene to thank for his pecs and hard abs. A fluffy bouquet of silver hairs peeked out from his boxers. Underneath, his dick throbbed, pressing eagerly into fabric.

“Uhm…I’m not wearin’ a lot? Nothin’ special. Just some black, boxer briefs, I guess. Wait, no-” Peter lifted a foot, his lips curling in a goofy smile, “Got my Star Wars socks on too.”

A sensual moan graced his ears, “That’s so hot.” You softly whined, “Star Wars socks? Peter, just take me now.”

Despite the fact you were totally messing with him, that playful comment made his chest tight. 

“Nothing else though?” You pressed.

“Nnnnnnnnnnope.” He drew out the word, popping the P, “Just the-uh…yeah. Boxers ‘n sexy socks. Not much to take off.”

“And you’re pretty fit, aren’t you? You always looked really jacked to me, so-” You said.

Peter cocked a brow, snickering to cover his embarrassment.

“Wooooahhh…you been checkin’ me out, babe?” He asked, darting his dark hues across his athletic bod. Peter flexed an arm, “Sure, I guess I’m in decent shape.” He found he couldn’t dismiss your compliments. Peter looked good, and he knew it. But he preferred hearing it from you, “Hey, you wanna know somethin’, like, way crazy?”

“This? What we’re doing right now is so crazy, right?” You laughed, sounding as bashful as him.

Peter snickered, “True. Truuuue. But, uh…” He shrank in his spot on the couch, pressing the vibrant handset closer into his cheek. Pre-cum seeped through his boxers, as Peter tugged his dick steady and slow. Careful not to stimulate himself too much yet. He dropped his voice to a hushed rasp, “I’m kinda in the same spot you are right now. If you-uh…if you catch my drift.”

The two of you knew each other for a long time. Several years, in fact. But never once did Peter think he’d hear his closest pal say-

“Ohhhh. Are you hard right now, baby?”

Oh. Yeah, this buddy-buddy friendship was in major trouble. Doomed to crash and burn. As soon as the words fell from your lips, spoken in your honeyed voice; Peter’s breath hitched in his throat. He sank his teeth so hard into his lip, he almost broke skin.

“Y-Yeah. Since you-uh…started talkin’ about your panties. I’m sorry, babe. Just been kinda bored and worked up all day.” He sheepishly chuckled.

“You poor baby…” You coddled him over the phone. And while he should’ve been embarrassed, Peter had no problem with you talking like that, “Can I ask how big you are?”

Peter stalled for a moment, before pulling the front of his boxers down. His hardness flopped against his belly, pulsating and ruddy from his teasing. Taking his aching length in his hand, he rubbed the underside with his thumb.

“You mean my dick? It’s-uhhhh…like six, maybe seven inches almost?” He squeezed his cock, milking beads of pre-cum, “But size doesn’t matter, yeah? It’s the motion of the ocean, babe.”

“Noooooo, baby. You’re so perfect. Wish I could see how good you look like that…” You cooed over the phone.

Your kindly words and airy tone made the veins in his dick throb with electric heat. Peter clutched his cock tight, pumping the velvet skin a touch faster. Giving himself just a simple taste of relief. His stomach clenched, hardening his abs.

“Не так идеально, как ты выглядишь (Not as perfect as you look)...” Peter muttered, drawing in a shallow breath, “Babe, I gotta tell ya, I’m really feelin’ this. I’m so into you right now. W-Want you to keep talkin’ like-uh...”

His imagination took his depravity to the next level. Now, Peter thought about joining you in your room. He wondered how soft and smooth your skin would feel. Supple and hot under his fingertips. What might you look like writhing under him, whimpering as he played with you? As he teased you? Man, you were both so screwed.

“Never thought dirty talking with me would turn you on so much…” You giggled.

Peter secured the handset between his cheek and shoulder. With both hands free, he raised his palm to his lips. He drew a long stripe with his tongue, bringing his damp hand to his cock. The slick lubrication pulled a gentle moan from his throat.

“M-Maybe a little bit. Ебать (Fuck), maybe a lot.” Peter groaned, labored in his breathing, “Can you - Ебать (fuck) - you wanna do somethin’ for me? Just a little favor between friends? S’all I’m askin’, baby.”

“Anything you want, Peter.” You mewled.

“Can you- mmmmohgod -” Peter choked up. He almost chickened out, but pushed himself to ask, “Can you touch yourself for me? Please? Пожалуйста, моя маленькая принцесса (Please, my little princess)...” His foreign whispers weaved pretty whimpers from your lips.

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that, if you want me to. But you have to do the same for me too. It’s only fair, right? Equal exchange?” You whispered, acting playful again.

Peter breathed a guilty chuckle, “Uhm…yeahhhhh…about that…”

You softly gasped, “Have you been-”

“Playin’ with my dick this whole time? Maybe.” Peter admitted. His thumb caught another pearl of pre, spreading the slickness over his sensitive head, “But I’m not, like, totally jerkin’ it yet…” He lied, pressing you to encourage him.

“Oh, you’re not, huh? What are you doing then?” You asked, “Are you being a bad boy, Pietro?” The abrupt drop of his given name shocked him into silence.

Peter felt his groin tighten, and an exhilarating rush electrified his nerves. For the thousandth time, you giggled. And for the thousandth time, Peter’s heart leapt. Dumbfounded, he gathered his composure and played along again.

“Y-Yeah. So bad. You gotta help me, babe. I’m just-...I’m so hard. Don’t think I can stop myself if you keep talkin’ like that.”

Through the receiver, Peter’s ears caught wind of a needy mewl. He gripped his cock hard, guiding his fist in firmer strokes. His legs quivered, and the heels of his Star Wars socks slid across the couch.

“Does it feel good when you touch your pretty cock like that, sweetheart?” You cooed.

Peter almost went straight into cardiac arrest. He jolted in place, feeling his cock stiffen in his grasp.

“Святой трах (Holy fuck)..." Peter suffocated on his own groans. For an instant, his words failed him, “Uhmmm…hah…wow-uh…Ебать (fuck). Feels good, yeah. Don’t think it’s enough. I need-...uhm…I want-uh…”

“Yeah? What do you want, baby. It’s okay.” You spoke so sugary sweet again.

“I-...Я просто хочу увидеть тебя (I just want to see you)...” Peter’s veins tingled under his touch, as he tugged his dick with more urgency, “Shit! I-...how come I never knew you could be like this-” And to Peter’s ultimate humiliation, he whimpered your name. Along with another whiny, “ Ебать (Fuck). ”

“Like what?” Your coy voice teased him over the line.

“I dunno…so-uh…so damn nasty.” He joked, and even through the phone; he knew he had you flustered again.

“I guess we all have our secrets, hmm? Tell me more, Pietro. When you touch yourself like that. With those big, strong hands…how’s it feel?” You asked, driving him to keep going.

Peter snorted a laugh, “Strong hands? What??” His endearing playfulness took a backseat, as he grunted into the receiver, “God…feels like my strong hand’s not enough. Мне реально тебе нужно прямо сейчас. Нужна так сильно (I really need you right now. I need you so much).” His voice fell to a whisper. Pumping his slick, crimson cock through his fist, he breathlessly pleaded, “Talk to me, baby. Please. Tell me-ohhh…tell me what you’re doin’ over there.”

You squealed a sultry giggle, further igniting Peter’s pleasured frenzy. He squirmed in his spot on the sofa, forcing himself to stay put. Battling the forces of the universe, it was all Peter could do not to race to your room. Just to spread your legs and hump you like a speedy bunny.

“Mmmm…I’m just doing what you asked me to…I’m being so good for you right now.” You whimpered.

“Oh. Okay…uhm…far out. Uh…wanna gimme the steamy details?” He heckled again, fumbling his words in his nervousness, “Please, don’t hold off on me, baby.”

“I’m…” Your precious voice wavered, teeming with awkwardness as your confidence dwindled, “I’m playing with my little pussy. Just for you. And I’m so wet. I can’t stop thinking about your hands…so big…”

“Боже мой (my god).” Peter muttered. Combating impatience brought upon by his genes, he willed himself to take things slow. His strokes became steady and teasing, as he edged his aching cock, “Holy shit, babe. Yeah? Keep goin’...”

You moaned soft squeals into the receiver, “I want you so bad, Quickie. Please, baby, don’t make me beg. Can you touch this little pussy for me? Please? Your fingers are so big. I don’t think they’d fit all at once. It’s been a while, and I’m so tight.” Your naughty voice pleaded.

“God, I wanna touch you so bad. Я хочу прикоснуться к этой сладкой киске (I want to touch that sweet pussy).” Peter’s impatience got the better of him, and he quickly gave in. He grasped his cock hard, wringing himself fast enough to make his balls bounce. Creasing his brows, he groaned, “Ohhh..What’re you tryna to do to me, babe? Talkin’ about how tight you are…Ебать…”

“But I ammmm.” You whined again, “I’m squeezing my tiny fingers so tight. It’s so soft and hot for you. Bet it’d feel really good if you stretched me. With your fingers, with your cock - fuck, Pietro. I just need you, baby.”

“Please, baby, oh, please? Wanna be inside you. Wanna feel you. I promise I won’t go too fast. Я обещаю (I promise).” Peter whimpered. But as you mewled again, another forceful wave of carnal heat crashed over Peter. In a quieter tone, he choked, “Нет, я могу. Я пойду так быстро (No, I can. I’ll go so fast).”

“Pietro, you can go as fast as you want, baby. I won’t stop you.” You pleaded, your broken voice so kittenish and wanton, “F-Fuck. I’m rubbing my clit. So sensitive. Thinking about you. Thinking about your mouth on me.”

“Ебать!!” Peter moaned through clenched teeth. His self control rapidly abandoned him. Speedily rutting his sore cock through the squeeze of his fist, his body refused to slow down, “Говоря о скорости (Speaking of speed)...” Peter craned his neck back, raising a hand to keep the handset to his ear, “You gotta stop makin’ all those cute noises, baby. Please…I can’t-”

As surges of horny pleasure circulated through his body, Peter thought of you again. He imagined you on your bed, caged under him between his arms. In his daydreams, he kissed you intimately, touching your pretty, naked body. Peter wanted to feel how wet you were for himself. And hell, the danger of pushing your friendship past its limits made you more tempting. Such a lewd, risky thought pushed him closer to the edge of something righteous.

“Baby, I wanna see you. Can I? Can I see you stroke that thick cock? Would you let me? Ohh, fuck, Pietro.” You whimpered. And your noises were so shamelessly lecherous, you could’ve made a pornstar blush, “Can I kiss it, please? Can I kiss your big cock?” You whimpered.

“О боже мой, пожалуйста (Oh my god, please)!” Peter choked, every word hitching in his throat, “Baby…babe, you can’t do this. Ya really can’t be-” He laughed lazily, his dark eyes falling half lidded. His cock throbbed, bright red and turning purple at the tip. He rutted in a speedy blur, “Stop. Stop. Stop. I’m gonna…babe, I’m gonna bust-” He slurred.

You squealed his name as loudly as your hushed voice would allow. And Peter swore he could hear the slick sound of your fingers. As they played with your pretty, little cunt.

“I’m gonna cum, baby. Please cum with me. Please? Pietro, OH~!”

“я кончаю, я кончаю (I’m cumming, I’m cumming)! ‘M Gonna-” Peter’s moans seeped through the receiver, his wet lips parting and mouth hanging open.

His swollen cock erupted in white-hot jets, coating his pecs and belly. With all his muscles tensed, Peter’s legs trembled. He rode out those lusty waves in tandem with you. The pleasure of orgasm sounded leagues more intense on your side. You took longer to cruise through it, whimpering and moaning Peter’s name. As you did, Peter basked in his momentary afterglow. Keeping the phone pressed to his ear, his head resting on the arm of the sofa; he listened to you with a smirk on his lips. At the end of your journey in ecstasy, your moans turned into flustered giggles.

Peter's thoughts reeled him in again. Imagining you, looking so sheepish and fine in his jacket. Now, he desperately wanted the real deal. To see you in all your post-nut glory. Mere seconds later, his sore cock pulsed to life again. As his hardness squirmed on his belly, Peter breathed another sigh.

On his end, you heard nothing but silence. You kept calling his name, your tired voice infused with anxiety.

“Uhm…Peter? Hey…are you there?” You asked.

And he didn't say a single word more.

#peter maximoff x y/n #peter maximoff x you #peter maximoff x reader #peter maximoff #txt #im terrified this is like...not as decent as my usual but whatever !!

[travlersjoy444]

request/writing idea!!

could you do a oneshot/headcannons(whichever you prefer) for a reader who acts as the teams medic?

Sounds like a plan!

On the Job

2012(ish) Turtles x reader

Platonic, and I say 'ish' because I was kinda picturing 2003!Don and Mikey, and 2012!Leo and Raph, as well as mentioning some 12 series specific villains/events.

Work count: 5.1k

Warnings: Non-graphic descriptions of injuries, mentions of blood, mentions of the film 'Twilight'

***

  “How the hell is it that you are somehow injured to the point of being near death yet again?!” You snapped at the turtle that had perched on your fire escape.

  Raph flushed, looking mildly embarrassed somehow despite his unwavering grimace of pain.

  You sighed and opened the door, slinging his arm over your shoulder to lug him to the couch.

  “Sorry.” He grunted through his wince as you set him down as gently as you could. “I can explain-”

  You smiled ruefully. “No, no…lemme guess. Ya got mad- probably at Leo, though it could also be Mikey- and stormed off to go fight crime on your own. And now that you’ve sprained your ankle and busted your lip, you’ve come to me so that you don’t have to return home with your tail between your legs.”

  He looked surprised, raising his brow ridge at the amount of accuracy.

  “Dude you did this like…just last month.” You sighed, and he mouthed ‘oh’, reaffirmed that you were indeed not a stalker.

  “Well…you’re the medic.” He shrugged, smiling weakly.

  You scoffed. “Wrong. Donnie is.”

  “Donnie once strapped me to a table and threatened to saw my plastron open.” Raph scowled. “And I don’t care that he was joking- I don’t trust him with medic privilege anymore.”

  “But Don knows more than I do about how to fix you up.” You said, grabbing the first aid kit.

  “Well…I like you better.” Raph grumbled, crossing his arms.

  You tried to resist smiling at that. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” You lied.

  Raph rolled his eyes. “It’s not…I’m not trying to….whatever, just do your thing, would ya?”

  You snorted. “Sure, King Raphael.”

  “Please?” He added, and you sighed.   “Okay, okay. Fine. Just stop getting hurt, would ya?”

  “Well…it’s sorta in the whole ‘ninja vigilante’ job description, genius.”

  You smiled ruefully, and began to wrap his ankle. “Yeah, I know. Maybe I just don’t like seeing you injured. But still…I’m glad you trust me to patch you up, dork.”

  He yawned and punched you lightly on the shoulder. “Wouldn’t trust anyone more.”

  You rolled your eyes and handed him some ibuprofen pills before sitting on the couch next to him.

  “Wanna watch a movie while you procrastinate on telling your brothers that I had to save your shell again?”

  “Yeah,” He murmured sleepily, swallowing the pain meds.

  “Hm. ‘Kay, Twilight it is.” You grinned. 

  Had Raph been even slightly more alert, he probably would have protested, but at this point, the adrenaline of the night had caught up with him. So instead of protesting, he rested his head on your shoulder and watched the movie about glittery vampires.

  You smiled and wrapped a soft blanket around his shoulders. Maybe it was sorta annoying and stressful how often Raph got injured, but you had to admit, it was pretty nice hanging out with him like this. And it was also sorta nice to know he trusted you to take care of him.

  He yawned and put an arm around you. “Hey (Y/N)?”

  “Yeah Rafa?”

  “Thanks for doing this for me. It…well, it really does…y’know, mean a lot to me and stuff.” He whispered before fading into sleep.

  You smiled and hugged him back.

***

  “Hey (Y/N), is it normal to have the world sorta…sorta spinning n’ stuff?” Said Mikey.

  You stared at him wide eyed. 

  “Angelo, buddy, pal, you just got thrown into a fucking wall!” You screeched.

  “So that’s like…noooot normal?” Mikey said slowly.

  “Ai ya. You are so lucky that Raph and Leo don’t need my backup right now.” You muttered, more to yourself than to him as you dragged the injured Michelangelo off the battlefield.

  You’d come along today to kick Foot Ninja butt and smash robots, not treat concussions. But apparently Raph wasn’t the only one under the impression that you were suddenly team medic. God, where was Don when you needed him?!

  “(Y/N)...my head hurts.” Mikey whispered, clutching it in his hands, before seeming to notice his change in location. “I-I mean, I’m totally mondo, bro! Lemme go back to fighting! I can’t let my bros down (Y/N), seriously-”

  “Shut up Mikey, you probably have a concussion-”

  “S’okay, I can still fight good! I’ve done it before, seriously-”

  “Ah, so you’re delusional too…” You said, pretending to write it down.

  “(Y/N), really man-”

  You sighed and dropped the act, as your nonchalant attitude clearly wasn’t working. “Mikester, you fight great. But your brothers are fine. It’s just a few Footbots, nothing they haven’t handled before, and besides, you took out a heck of a lot of them before you got wall-thrown. You really even their odds! But now you're injured, and the best thing you can do for your brothers is take a break!” You exclaimed, propping him up against a wall a block away from the fight.

  He frowned, brow ridges knit together. “You sure- oohhh did someone just stab my eyes with a glowing sword bro…?”

  “Nah man, that’s just the streetlight.” You said gently, unpacking the first-aid kit that you were lucky to have had the foresight to bring along, and mentally ran through the concussion tests you knew. 

  You tapped Mikey’s hand and ankle at the same time. “Okay. Where am I touching you?” You said.

  “Uhhh…my hand.” He mumbled out.

  “Nothing on the ankle?”

  “Nah…”

  Shit, okay, he’d failed that test…

  You swallowed and read the instructions for another one off your phone.

  ‘1. Tap the bridge of the patient's nose. 

They will begin to blink, but should stop after 2-3 blinks. 

After more than 3 blinks the subject is considered concussed.’ said the article.

  You tapped his snout gently, and he blinked in shock. 

  “Ow!”

  “Sorry.”

  One blink, two, three, four, five- uh oh. 

  “Okay…you’re officially concussed, Mikey!” You said weakly.

  “Ohhh…that’s not good, is it, bro?” He moaned.

  “No... Look, I’ve got this bag of ice, I’m gonna hold it onto your head, okay?” You said, making sure to speak as calmly and clearly as you could manage.

  He nodded, before groaning in pain at the movement. You eased the ice onto his forehead as gently as you could manage, and grabbed some pain meds out of your first aid kit.

  “Here, swallow these.”

  He complied.

  “Woah, what’s going on here?!” Said a voice from behind you. 

  “Don!” You grinned, spinning around to see the familiar turtle. He was by your side in an instant, studying Mikey himself.

  “He’s got a concussion.” You sighed.

  “Ooh, that’s…not ideal.” Don winced. “Look, I’ve gotta grab the Shellraiser- I’ll pick you up in a minute, Mikey. In the meantime, stay with the medic and don’t do anything stupid.”

  “I’m not the medic-” You argued.

  “Aren’t you?” Don frowned, pointing to your first aid kit.

  “Well even if I was -which I’m not- I have a name, dude.” You protested, but he had already darted off to grab the car. You sighed and mumbled something about those ‘dang teenagers’ as if you weren’t also one.

  “S’okay (Y/N), I believe in ya! You can be medic if you set your mind to it…”Mikey grinned loopily.

  You facepalmed. “No, that’s not what I- augh. Whatever. Sure, Mikey.” You sighed.

  “Anytime, dude.” He said, giving you a weak thumbs-up.

***

  “Is he okay?” You said, frowning as Mikey lay passed out on the cot in Don’s lab.

  “He’ll be fine. He was lucky to have you there though, it would’ve been way worse if he’d tried to go back to fighting the way you said he wanted to.” Don shrugged, smiling. “So, good job, Team Medic!”

  You frowned. “Whoa whoa woah, no. Donnie, you’re the team medic.”

  Don shook his head. “No, I’m Team Scientist. I only have an arbitrary understanding of medical stuff- I’m more of a ‘mechanics’ guy. And occasionally chemistry, nowadays, but y’know.”

  “So you think I  -Me, an untrained ametuer- would be a better medic than you, a full fledged genius scientist?!” You said indignantly.

  “Well…yeah, you have basic first aid training, which is more than even I have, and you’re great under pressure- Um…do you not want to be?” He stammered awkwardly. “See I just figured …the more the merrier, right? But if you don’t want to, obviously we don’t have to do that…it’d just be nice to have someone else, I guess…” He continued, fiddling with his duffle bag strap anxiously.  

  You sighed, running through the mental pros and cons list. 

  On the one hand…It would mean more safety for the boys, finally getting to use your medical training, and a  bit of pressure off of Donnie- who already shouldered the huge burden that came with the title of ‘Scientist/Engineer/Argument Breaker-Upper/Mechanic/Chemist/Ninja’.

  But on the other hand, it was a huge responsibility. What if one of them got injured so badly that you couldn’t help? What if you were at school or work or on vacation or something, what would they do then?

  Well…then again, Donnie was still there and able to help. And plus…you’d be the medic, not the doctor. You weren’t sure you could handle long term stuff, but if you were just the first aid…well actually, that didn’t seem too bad. After all, you were already Raph’s personal human first aid kit, and that was only mildly stressful, so maybe doing the same for the other brothers wouldn’t be too terrible?

“Well- I mean, I guess you have a point, what with how often you guys are injured…” You said, considering it. “It’s a huge responsibility, but I guess so long as I have you as backup, Dee…”

  Don blinked. “Wait…so you’ll do it?” He said.

  Eh…sure why not.

  “You know what? …Yeah, I guess so.” You said finally. “But only if you promise you’ll help me out, genius.” You decided, holding out our hand to shake on it.

  He grinned and shook it weakly. “Thanks so much, (Y/N). You have no idea how helpful this is.” He said, relieved.

  You smiled despite yourself. “Hey, wouldn’t want the world’s best scientist to deal with even more shit than he has to, right?” You said, only half joking.

  He blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well best is a strong word...”

  You chuckled at his reaction. “Well, you’re certainly the best I know, Don. I’m honored that you trust me with something like this, seriously.”

  He smiled, suddenly shy. “Hey, thanks for agreeing to it. This is super helpful- and you’re the best candidate by far.”

  “Gasp, better than Casey?” You said in mock surprise.

  He chuckled. “Way better than Casey.”

  “You know, one time I stubbed my toe, and his go-to instinct was to chuck a hockey puck at it to, quote, ‘get the blood flowing’. So I guess you’re right there.” You mused.

  “Dude! I WAS HELPING!” Yelled Casey, summoned by the sound of shit being talked about him.

  “We’ve been over this Case’- YOU INJURED ME MORE!” You yelled back, and Don doubled over laughing.

  “Oh yes, I’m glad my suffering amuses you.” You said, falling against the wall dramatically.

  “S-sorry-” Don wheezed as he leaned on his staff to straighten his posture, very obviously not sorry.

  “Y’know what?! It totally does amuse me!” Casey sassed, tossing his hair just as dramatically.

  “You guys are so mean.” You said, faking a voice crack as you pretended to wipe away tears.

***

  “Hey (Y/N)? I’m sorry I ruined your chances to fight.” Said Mikey a while later.

  You looked up from your math homework. “You’re awake?” You said, surprised. Don had estimated that it would be another hour or so before he regained consciousness.

  “Uh…apparently. How long was I out?” He mumbled. 

  “Just a few hours, dude. How’s the head?”

  “...Hurts.” He said, cringing. “Aw, man.”

  “D’you want me to dim the lights a bit?” You offered. The lab’s lights were already dimmer than usual, but you did have Donnie’s extremely bright desk lamp on for your homework.

  “Maybe?” Mikey grunted. “Is everyone okay?”

  You complied and turned off the desk lamp, leaving the room shadow-y but not fully dark. 

  “Yeah, everyone’s fine, Mike’.” You nodded. “You’re the only one that got injured, and that’s just ‘cause one of Shredder’s goons threw your head into a wall.”

  “Okay, lame! What a buzzkill.” Mikey whined. “Thanks for patching me up.”

  “No problem!” You said firmly.

  “It kinda was though, ‘cause I messed up your chance to fight…isn’t that why you were so angry about having to treat me?” Mikey mumbled, looking away.

  You cringed, remembering how you had indeed complained. “Aw, Angelo- I…I didn’t mean it like that. That was the stress talking more than anything else, and besides- that’s how I act around Raph, y’know? All like…sarcastic and begrudging because he alway gets hurt for dumbass reasons. I guess I kinda forgot that you’re…not Raph, you know what I mean?” You shrugged, trying to ignore the burning wave of regret and embarrassment that was washing over you.

  “Kinda?” Mikey said, still not meeting your eyes. “So does that mean you’re not…mad at me?”

  “Of course not.” You said, scooting your chair up next to his cot. “You didn’t do anything wrong, dude, how could I ever be mad at you? Ya did good today, Mikey, you know that?”

  “You think so?” He smiled, looking up at you- almost shyly, as if he didn’t believe it….you made a mental note to compliment him more often. 

  “I know so, genius.” You grinned, punching him lightly in the shoulder.

  “Hey! Hitting the sick dude? Not cool brah!” He grinned, punching you back.

  “Oh hey- we ordered pizza a bit ago! You feelin’ up for a slice?” You suggested, remembering how Leo had set some aside for whenever Mikey woke up.

  “Uh no duh?! Of course I want pizza! Where is it?!”

  You laughed, standing up. “Okay, I’ll go get it for ya, dude. Good job today bro.”

  “Ditto, mondo-medic!”

  “Oh boy, a new nickname. How tubular.” You grunted, smiling good naturedly before you ducked out of the lab.

***

  Now you were used to Raphael showing up on your fire escape. But tonight, there was a turtle on your fire escape who not only was not Raphael, but was also one of the least likely people to ever show up injured, ever.

  He rapped on the window. “Hey, (Y/N)!”

  “Leo? What the hell are you doing here?” You shoved the door to the fire escape open, and let him in.

  “Thanks.” He rasped, limping into the living room. “Sorry to bother you, (Y/N). I just…needed some help from someone who isn’t one of my brothers, and…y’know, the medic.”

  “What happened?” You said, taking in his all-black getup. “What’s with the goth makeover? …And your voice being raspier than usual?”

  He chuckled nervously, and it faded into a cough. “Uh…y’know, Karai stuff?”

  You blinked. “...What?”

  He rubbed the back of his head. “Look, it’s a bit of a long story,” he smiled awkwardly, “...But Karai and I may have sorta…y’know, committed arson…?”

  He said it as if it were something like ‘Karai and I cheated on a test’ or ‘Karai and I got a parking ticket’.

  “...Leo?!” You said, staring at him in awe.

  “Look that’s unimportant-  The issue is that I think I knocked my bad knee out of it’s socket while we were running away, and obviously inhaled more smoke than I should’ve-”

  “Why the fuck were you commiting arson?!” You exclaimed, cutting him off.

  He sighed, fiddling with his katana’s strap. (-oh wait no, that was a…seatbelt? Right, he was in an emo phase, apparently.)

  “I mean I understand the urge- who hasn’t been tempted to start a fire, all that or whatever- but you?!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands into the air wildly. “Like, I’d expect this from Raph or Casey but…you?!” You continued, not even sure what to say.

  He opened his mouth and closed it. “Uh…”

  You sighed and sat down on the couch, shaking your head. “And you fucking hurt your bad knee…agh. Leo…”

  He sat down next to you, staring at the floor.

  “...No.” You grunted, staring at the ceiling. “The couch is for people who don’t commit arson. You get the Stool of Shame.”

  “-Huh?”

  “The Stool of Shame, dude.” You reiterated, pointing at the rickety old tin seat in the corner that, based on the size, you were pretty sure was made for elementary school children. 

  Leo swallowed in embarrassment, but limped across the room to uncomfortably perch on the tiny stool.

  You stifled a smirk at the visual of the gothed-out Leonardo staring at the ground in shame, fidgeting with his hands as he sat in the much too small chair.

  “Do you feel ashamed?” You said flatly.

  He nodded. 

  “Good. You should be. Arson is bad, Leo, and we both know that you know that it’s bad.” You said, standing up and walking towards the kitchenette to make yourself some tea.

  Leo nodded again, rocking side to side on the chair anxiously.

  “D’ya want mint tea or green tea? Ooh, and there’s also cherry coke I think in the fridge.” You added absently.

  “Uh…green is good, no milk?” Leo said slowly.

  “Cool cool. You mentioned smoke inhalation?” You said, putting the kettle on.

  “Yeah…”

  “Alright. How’s the throat, then?” You said. You’d been reading up a bit on throat injuries after Leo complained lightly about his long-term injuries acting up, and if it was bad then, you had a solid hunch it would be way worse now.

  “...Well, I mean…It…hurts,” He shrugged, shifting in the Shame Stool as he tried to downplay the ramifications of his dumbass choices.

  “Shocking.” You said, turning back to preparing the tea.

  “Look, it was an accident!” He said defensively. “We didn’t plan on the alarms closing the East exit, that didn't happen last…time…oooh.” He winced, realizing his mistake a second too late.

  You slowly turned back towards him, feeling your eye twitch.

  “Ya wanna say that last bit one more time Leon?” You said as evenly as you could manage.

  He gulped, but met your eyes. “...That didn’t…happen…last time.” He said in a small voice.

  “Last time.” You repeated.

  “LAST TIME.” You said, louder this time.

  Leo cringed. 

  You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself. “So your knee is re-injured and your throat is hurting.” You mumbled, listing the symptoms in the hope that focusing on the task at hand would keep you from flipping out at him. “And you’ve fucking done this…twice…” 

  He coughed, as if he wanted to say something, but held his tongue.

  You made a sound of frustration. “Okay, more than twice?”

  He nodded, brow ridges knitted together as he stared at his feet.

  “You are…so lucky that I don’t have Splinter’s phone number.” You hissed.

  He nodded again. “You’re right.” He said in a small voice.

  “Yeah, I know I’m right!” You snapped, stirring two tablespoons of honey into his tea aggressively. Some of it spilled on the floor. “Unlike some of us, I’m not an idiot!” 

  You sighed, walking across the room to hand him the mug. “Lemme go get the first aid kit. In the meantime, you have about two minutes to think of a good explanation for this.”

  “Yes sensei- uh I mean (Y/N)! Yes (Y/N).” He nodded, flustered, and saved himself from meeting your eyes by taking a giant sip of tea.

  You rolled your eyes and left the room to grab the first aid kit.

  When you came back, he was gagging on tea.

  “Is something wrong with it?” You said flatly.

  “Nah, it’s- it’s fine! Maybe a little too much sugar-”

  “When will you learn that your actions have consequences, Mr. I-just-inhaled-tons-of-smoke-fumes? …Heh. It’s honey, soothes the pain.” You said, smiling.

  “Oh. Okay then.” He mumbled.

  “So if your knee is dislocated, I’m gonna have to shove it back into place, which is gonna hurt like hell, okay?” You warned. “I do have some pain meds, but obviously they’re not exactly professional- just the drugstore over-the-counter stuff.”

  He nodded and accepted the pills. 

  “Cool. Now…why the hell were you committing arson, Fearless Leader?” You sighed, sitting against the wall next to the Stool of Shame.

  He shrugged. “Well…first off, it wasn’t like, random- It was Shredder’s stuff. Karai, Shinigami, and I were burning Shredder’s stuff.  Secondly, Karai was gonna do it whether I participated or not! I had to come along to keep her safe!”

  “Karai’s a tough girl, Lee. She doesn’t need you to keep her safe- plus, she’s older than you. If anything, she should be keeping you safe, right?” You said gently.

  “(Y/N)- yeah she’s tough! But like…she’s not exactly as…well, y’know, stable as us!” Leo tried to explain. “I mean, she’s had a tough life, and only recently started therapy- and even then, she can’t really be forthright with her therapist because she’s gotta keep all the mutants and gang stuff secret- And so maybe I just wanna be there to keep her from doing something impulsive and hurting herself!”

  You glanced over at him, and he broke eye contact in favor of taking another sip of tea.

  “So then…you know exactly how I feel, huh?” You said softly.

  He blinked. “Huh?”

  “Feeling worried about someone who matters to ya doing impulsive shit and getting hurt?” You prompted, shooting him a half-hearted smile.

  His eyes widened. “...Oh.” 

  You patted his shell. 

  “I…I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I didn’t think-”

  “That I have feelings? I know, I know, I do tend to go for the emotionless robot vibe.” You joked, putting your hand on your heart dramatically. “But beneath the layers of deadpan stares and blunt comments…I hurt…” You swooned. 

  Leo chuckled, shoving you lightly. “Alright, alright, laugh it up…”

  “But seriously, Leo.” You said, leaning on the wall again. “It’s scary when you go out there and get hurt. You’re one of my best friends in the universe, and y’know…I don’t like seeing you get needlessly injured. Karai’s a big girl, let her handle her own problems. Maybe try bonding with her over…I dunno, bubble tea instead of arson, you know?” You chuckled.

  He smiled, leaning back. “Alright, you’re right.”

  “Now…look. All the nice feelings stuff aside…” You said, studying his knee. “I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to call Don about this one. I don’t exactly trust my ability to do this without causing a fracture.”

  “Aw, (Y/N)-”

***

  Over the past few months, being the team medic had grown into a more comfortable position. You actually felt you were helping, and more importantly, it was kinda fun! 

  However, all of that was under the watchful eye of one Donatello Hamato. He was far more useful in terms of the steps after first aid, and you weren’t too sure you’d be able to trust yourself as a medic just yet without his minor help- that’s to say, he was a nice safety harness in the risky rockwall that was being an ametuer medic.

  So when you lost said safety net, you weren’t 100% sure how to react.

  It had been a normal night of waiting in the lair while the turtles went on a normal patrol until it wasn’t.

  There was a flurry of movement in the tunnels, a yelp, and the siblings were storming into the lair in a panic.

  “Lab! Now!” Leo cried.

  Mikey was tearful, Raph panicking, and Leo’s face was trying to be stoic and failing. Your gaze shifted to Don, who hung from Leo and Raph’s shoulders, unconscious.

  You threw the lab doors open, and Raph laid Don down on the work counter before sinking to the floor in a stunned silence.

  “Wha- What happened?” You said, trying to bite back your panic. Right, pressure, pressure, I’m- I’m good under pressure, be chill (Y/N)-

  Leo paced the floor. “Ambush. Tigerclaw and co. Didn’t think they were gonna be there… I-I didn’t know-”

  You patted his shoulder. “Of course you didn’t, Lee, take a deep breath- What happened to Don?” 

  “They got him in the shoulder.” Mikey supplied.

  You stifled a ‘Ya think?!’ and tugged on some latex gloves. You approached Donnie, biting your lip nervously.

  There was a… a lotta blood. He was losing it by the second. 

  “How long has he been bleeding?” You asked, your voice coming out so much calmer than you felt.

  “Half an hour? Maybe?” Leo said helplessly. 

  Half an hour and still bleeding… so so much…

  I’m definitely not experienced enough to handle a transfusion operation, so- just gotta stick with Don’s emergency med stash and- and stitching-

  He was pale. You didn’t know that scales could be pale. You swallowed the bile in your throat and opened the drawer of sterile equipment. 

  Needle and thread, needle and thread, needle and thread… Your brain chanted unhelpfully as you tried to locate them. 

  Hydrogen peroxide, disinfect the wound-

  You soaked a cloth with the hydrogen peroxide and cleaned the gashes, and his breathing sped up. Understandable. You were confident that it stung.

  Wincing, you continued cleaning. 

  “Is he- is he okay?” Raph whispered from the floor.

  I- maybe?! No?! I- I don’t know, I’m just- ah-

  “He will be.” You said firmly, as if you weren’t mentally spiralling.  You tried to focus on the repetitive motion of cleaning the wound.

  You swallowed and reached for the needle.

  Raph tracked your actions, and, eyes going wide as he realized what you were planning, covered his mouth in horror and discomfort, no doubt picturing the feeling of stitches in his own shoulder. Huh, you hadn’t expected Raph to be squeamish, ha. Oh god you also sorta wanted to throw up-

  “Leo, we should get Raph outta here before he hurls!” Mikey said, as if he wasn’t feeling just as freaked out. 

  “Actually, all of you should probably step out so I can focus.” You said, hoping to end the performance anxiety and pressure all the pressure all of-

  “Are you sure?” Said Leo. 

  “A hundred percent.” You said firmly.

  Raph bolted out and Mikey followed.

  Leo shot Don a final nervous glance.

  “He’ll be okay.” You said, faking stoic confidence. “I promise.”

  He nodded, and followed his brothers out of the lab.

  You swallowed nervously and got to work.

***

  “Oohhh…” Don moaned.

  Uh-oh.

  You were really glad he was conscious- but you were not glad that he had chosen to wake up before you finished stitching his skin back together. 

  “Shhh, it’s okay-” You tried to whisper, but Donnie’s eyes shot open.

  “Oh my god….why does my shoulder feel like- eugghhhh….” He groaned. “Tigerclaw…”

  “You’re on the best pain meds in your collection, but uh….” You mumbled guiltily. “I wasn’t quite finished with ya.”

  Don gave a double take as his eyes traveled up to his half-stitched mess of a shoulder.

  He gave a weak sound of discomfort and nausea.

  You took a deep breath and smiled weakly. “Uh…did I fuck it up?”

  “No…it looks…ha…great.” He said with a laboured breath. “Well, obviously not great, but like- you know- solid stitchwork…”

  You winced. “Aw Don, don’t strain yourself by talking…”

  “I’m-...I’m okay.” He insisted despite the weak warble of his voice. “See? I told-...I told you we’d need a medic that isn’t me, remember? Looks like I….picked the right person, huh?” He smiled.

  You gave a weak sound that might have been either a laugh or a sob. 

  Your hands trembled in their blood-stained gloves, and you tried to ignore it as you continued stitching.

  His breath hitched everytime  you pierced his skin, and you tried to ignore the involuntary- and illogical- guilt at hurting him.

  “How ‘bout- y- Ahem. How about you?” He said softly.

  “Huh?” You hummed, pulling the largest wound closed at last. 

  “Are you okay?”

  You drew in a shaky breath and tried to keep your hands from shaking. “I mean…I’ve been better,” You deadpanned, although your heart was clearly not in it.

  “Ditto. Hope I don’t look too much like Frankenstein’s monster once we’re through with this, eh?” He chuckled, but it died in a whimper of pain.

  You cringed. 

  Don’s smile faded, and he glanced at you. “Seriously though…are you okay?”

  You sighed, wringing your bloody hands. “...Are you sure I’m the best person for this job?”

  “Do you….do you not want to be?” He asked.

  You shrugged noncommittally. 

  Maybe you didn’t. What had these past few months been if not stressful? Maybe April was better for the job. Maybe you didn’t want it.

  No, that wasn’t true. 

  Admittedly, fixing Donnie’s wounds yourself was far less scary than it would have been to wait outside with the others, unsure if he was getting better or not. And you maybe-sorta-liked being the one Leo went to when he hurt his knee, the one to comfort Mikey as he dealt with feelings, the one to fix Raph up when he did dumb shit as per usual.

  Yeah, you liked being a medic. What you didn’t love quite so much was the grimace of pain on Donnie’s face as he worried about whether or not the person he trusted with his life even wanted to help him.

  You sighed and began bandaging his shoulder. 

  “...I do, Dee, I guess I just worry is all…’Cause what if I do something wrong? This is far more high-pressure than like…a math test, y’know?”

  Don frowned. “Well you’re doing great right now if it makes you feel any better…”

  “Oh yeah? Thanks.” You smiled. “You taught me well, genius.”

  “Nah, I never showed you all the procedures and stuff- that’s all you, you know.” Don smiled, closing his eyes. 

  You glanced down at the bandage, realizing that he was right- you’d learned this in a life guard training lesson a few summers ago. Huh.

  “Besides, can you imagine like- Mikey or Casey or someone being in charge of this? I’d end up even more injured than before!” He chuckled.

  “I mean…I won’t argue with you there…” You snorted.

  “Anyways, I trust you, (Y/N). I know that I’m in good hands.” He said with another smile.

  “You sure? ‘Cause these look more like zombie hands or somethin’ to me,” You joked, holding up your blood-stained gloves. It was a true testament to Don’s hidden unhinged-ness that he burst into laughter rather than scolding you for the joke that you admittedly realized was in poor taste.

  “It’s just…ketchup, don’t worry about it!” He quipped through his laughter.

  “Mm, yeah, totally!” You grinned, tossing the gross gloves into the trash before washing your hands.

  “Well Don…I think you’ll be okay. D’you want me to go get your brothers?”

  He nodded. “Sounds good. And (Y/N)? Thank you. For everything.”

  You smiled, punching him lightly on his good arm. “Hey, I’m just doin’ my job.”

***

#tmnt x reader #tmnt 2012 x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #gn!reader #tmnt raph x reader #tmnt 2012 raph x reader #raph x reader #2k12 raph x reader #tmnt leo x reader #tmnt 2012 leo x reader #leonardo x reader #2k12 leo x reader #tmnt mikey x reader #2003 tmnt x reader #2003 don x reader #donatello x reader #michelangelo x reader

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Carpet Burn

Benny Miller x Jack Mojave • Rating: 18+ pals • Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • ko-fi •

Summary: Santi's odd cousin comes for a visit.

A/N: This is just crack. I am so sorry. I'm using my normal tag list but please feel free to just ignore this (because I think the only person whose cup of tea this is, is me.) This is for @triplefrontier-anniversary event. Also, I blame @romanarose completely for this, as I made a joke about writing Jack as Santi's cousin ages ago.

Warnings: overuse of italics, oral sex (m receiving), swearing, I have not proofread this (I’m so sorry I just can’t look at it anymore), please let me know if I've missed a warning.

Word Count: 1835

________________________________

“Look, I know he’s weird.” Santi said, shutting the fridge door and holding out a beer for Frankie.

“Really weird.” Will added and Santi gave him a look. 

“But he’s family.” Santi stressed, sighing a little. 

“How is he related to you again?” Frankie took the bottle with a nod of gratitude. 

He crossed his arms and shrugged. “He’s my cousin.” 

“I thought he was your second cousin?” Will frowned.

“I thought he was your cousin once removed?” Frankie drank a gulp of the beer and pulled a disgusted face at Santi, he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, well, I don’t actually know.” 

“You don’t know?” Will put his feet up on the coffee table, leaning back to look at Santi and Frankie in the kitchen. 

Benny gave his brother a look and pointed to his feet. “Bro.”

“What?” 

“I don’t know if he’s my fucking second cousin or cousin how many times removed or what the fuck, kay?” Santi came and sat down next to Will, swatting at his legs.

“Ow.” Will laughed, “that hurt.”

“Good. Keep your feet off my table.”

“Look you made me take my shoes off, so I think-”

“Just because you're a savage who wears outside shoes in the house,” Frankie said, sitting on the armchair, “and who puts their feet up in other people’s furniture-” 

“See?” Benny hissed.

“-without asking,” Frankie continued. 

“It’s normal to wear shoes in the house.” Will countered. 

“House shoes.” Santi said.

“Yeah, house shoes. Not outside ones.” Frankie took another swig of the beer. 

“Outside shoes.” Will tutted, he turned to his brother. “Help me out here?” 

“If you share a great grandparent he’s your first cousin once removed, if he’s the kid of your  first cousin once removed he’s your second cousin.” Benny said.

Will pulled a face. “Why do you know that?” 

“Why don’t you?” 

“I-”

“Doesn’t fucking matter, he’s just visiting okay?” Santi shrugged, crossing his arms and sighing.

“He staying with you?” Frankie asked,

“Hell no.”

Will snorts. 

“I don’t think he’s that weird.” Benny picked at the label of his bottle. “I kinda like him.” 

“Yeah, well, you only met him once,” Will cut in. “Me and Frankie have met him like 5, 6 times? Dude’s insane, always causing everyone brother.” 

“He’s quirky.” Ben shrugged.

Will pulled a face. “Fish, isn’t he fucking insane?” 

“I’m not getting involved.” Frankie took a long swig of his beer.

“Hey, that is my cousin, you know?” Santi gave Will a glare.

“Sorry, Pope.” 

“Nah,” Santi grinned, “he is fucking insane.” 

“You guys are mean.” Benny teased.

“Yeah, well, you love him so much, why don’t you hang out with Jack?” Will nudged him in the side.

“You know what, I will.”

.

And that was how Benny ended up hanging out with Jack by himself. 

The original plan had been to grab a beer at the bar on 12th. But that had turned into four, then five, then six, then…

The guy was off his rocker, that was for sure. Benny knew that, but he kinda liked it too. He never quite knew where the conversation was going. Jack would throw in some quote from a philosopher one second, and then would talk about a tennis game the next. 

“I don’t really watch tennis,” Ben finished his seventh beer, eighth? “You watch football?” 

“Nah, too commercial, I’m not into all that capitalist shit.” Jack motioned to the bartender to bring over another set of drinks. 

“Tennis isn’t commercial?” 

“Not how I watch it brother, I only watch it in French.” He taps the side of his head. “They can’t advertise to me if I don’t know the language, you feel me?” 

Benny paused, nodding and then frowning, “Why don’t you do that for the football then?” 

Jack shook his head, “not the same brother, not the same. They got a way, you know?” 

Benny did not know. 

“A way of still getting into your psyche.” Jack tapped the bar to punctuate his sentence. “I’m not having it. Commercials are capitalism and ‘Capitalism is a social system based on the exploitation of the majority by a minority for their private profit.’” He took a sip of his beer. “Jean-Paul Sartre said that.” 

“I thought that was Marx?” 

Jack laughed long and hard, smacking Benny affectionately on the back. Benny smiled, his cheeks warm. His expression was infectious. 

“Hoo-wee!” He wiped his eyes, “I thought I’d got you there for sure, kiddo. Brother, ah, for sure.” He grinned. “But you got me, caught old Jack didn’t ya?”

Benny smiled again, “nah, just, you know. Marx is pretty famous, I guess.” 

“Don’t sell yourself short, brother, don’t sell yourself low if you gotta sell yourself at all. See, most people wouldn’t know, most people wouldn’t care.” He quickly moved his hand over his head, complaining it with a ‘zoom’ sound, “most common folk, straight over their heads, brother, or they just would be too Tiny Timmy Timid to say a peep.” 

Benny nodded, a little bewitched by Jack when he talked. Like some snake charmer, slowly lulling him into a hypnotic state. “Well, you know.” Heat rose to his cheeks that he told himself was from the alcohol. “Guess I haven’t been hit so much in the head that I’ve forgotten everything.” 

Jack nodded, taking another drink. “Very impressive all that fighting of yours, very impressive. But you could teach old Jacky a thing or two, couldn’t you? A thing or two about wrestling around.” 

“Well, erm, I-”

“Course you could brother,” Jack patted him on the back again. He left his hand there for a moment too long, trailing down his spine instead of moving away. 

“Yeah, sure.” Benny swallowed a little nervously. “So, erm, what’s your opinion on shoes on in the house?” 

.

That was how he ended up back at where Jack was staying. The older man insisting that he ‘showed Benny Boy the house shoe rule in person’. 

And, well, it would be rude to say no, wouldn’t it? 

“It’s a nice place,” Benny said, taking off his shoes by the front door. “Air BnB?”

“Nah,” Jack shook his head. “I don’t go in for all that, fine when it’s people renting their house because they’re on holiday themselves or something, sure. But not when it’s just jumped up landlords buying up properties.” 

“Erm, yeah.” He hadn’t really answered the question. Benny wobbled a little as he took off his trainer, the alcohol buzzing through his system making him pleasantly warm.

“Woah, hey there little brother,” Jack moved quickly to him, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and one hand on his waist. “Gonna fall if you’re not careful.” 

“Nah, I’m okay.” He smiled. 

Jack tutted. “Not at all, your my guest. Can’t have you falling and spilliting your pretty head on the floor can I?” 

Benny frowned, completely missing the ‘pretty’ comment, “it’s carpet?” 

Jack laughed loudly. “It sure is… carpet burn then.” He grinned, his eyes trailing over Benny’s face. “Only want that on the knees, you know?” 

“On your knees?” 

“Yeah…” Jack smiled, darting his tongue out to drag it along his bottom lip. “Let me should you, hmm?” 

“Erm, okay, yeah…?” Benny let Jack lead him, still holding onto his waist, to the sofa in the living room. Let him press him down onto the cushions. Let Jack sink to the door between his knees. 

He wasn’t stupid. It’s just that… it almost seemed impolite to ask him to stop. And who was Benny really to refuse a blow job when the oputinity arose? 

Part of him wished he wasn’t already hard when Jack palmed him through his jeans, wish he had made him work for it. But the other, much louder part, was already desperate to have his soft looking lips around his cock. 

He unzipped Benny’s jeans slowly, glancing up at the younger man and giving him plenty of oppuinities to tell him to stop, fuck off, or move away. 

Benny stayed still, breathing hard through his nose as Jack carefully pulled him free and ran his hand up and down his hot length for a moment. 

“You ever had a guy suck you off?” 

“A few times.” 

Jack hummed and nodded. “Good.” 

Benny barely had a moment to register what he had said before he licked a stripe from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling his tongue over the head before dipping down and taking him into his mouth. 

Benny shuddered, letting out a painfully loud sigh at the warmth of Jack’s mouth, at how he sucked just enough to truly ignite a fire under his skin, but not enough to truly ease that ache. 

He lifted his head up, swirling his tongue over his balls before he traced the large vein on the underside of his dick and slipped him back into his warm and waiting mouth. 

Benny gasped, his thighs twitching as the pleasure in his lower stomach began to grow. He instinctively grabbed hold of the back of Jack’s head, pulling at his hair and pushing him down lower. 

Jack hummed, chucking and the vibrations ran along Benny’s cock as he followed the directions and sank lower, the older man’s hands pressed to Ben’s inner thighs to keep him spread wide. 

Benny tried to fight the urge to buck up into his mouth, chasing more of that intoxicating heat. But he couldn’t help himself, his stomach muscles twitching as he tried to stay still. Jack’s firm hold stopped him from getting too far though as he kept up his slow and tortuous pace. He let his salvia pool down, completely covering Benny’s cock as he sank lower, and lower and-

Benny cried out, swearing under his breath in a haze as he hit the back of Jack’s throat and went further still. “Shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he pulled on his hair, pushing him deeper, his back bending off the sofa. “Holy fuck, please, Jesus,” mindless words tumbled out of his mouth as Jack started to pick up the pace, fucking him in earnest. 

Sparks of pleasure ran along Benny’s spine, pooled in his stomach and overrode any other thought. He groaned loudly, throwing his head back against the cushions and squirming against the pleasure. 

He tried to pull him back a little to warn him, “Jack, fuck, Jack, I’m gonna-”

But the older man didn’t let up, taking him as deep as he possibly could. 

“Fuck!” Benny sobbed, his hips stuttering, legs shaking as he spurted down Jack’s throat, coming harder than he could ever remember. 

Jack slowed, but kept working him over, prolonging his orgasm until he pulled back fully and grinned. 

Benny breathed hard, sweat beading on his forehead as he slumped back onto the sofa, blissed out and boneless. 

“How about I get you a glass of water, brother, and then we go again?” Jack smiled. 

Benny raised an eyebrow at him. 

“I mean, I haven’t actually got carpet burn. Yet.” 

____________________________________________

Thank you for reading! (If you've got this far, please pat yourself on the back Jack style.)

@pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem @oscarisaacsspit @whatthefishh @mbakubabe @romanarose @saturn-rings-writes @boredzillenial @lonelyisamyw-0love @queerponcho @pimosworld @melodygatesauthor @steven-grants-world  @eyelessfaces @angel-of-the-moons @minigirl87 @queerponcho @lunar-ghoulie @dumdaradumdaradum @plastichearts @silver-night-m @autismsupermusicalassassin @apesarecuul @reallyrallyauthor @basicalyrandom @spxctorsslxt

If you'd like to be taken off the tag list please let me know here

#jack mojave #mojave #mojave film #my writing #fanfic #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters #john ‘jack’ jackson #triple frontier #benny miller #benny miller x jack #crack

[splinnters]

Kai's nicknames for everyone, can I hear them?

aw I love this ask! I have some specific ones that I use but otherwise I'm about to just rattle off random ones I think he'd use

for Lloyd: kid, green bean, gremlin, mostly things related to him being small and annoying. also weird variations/pronunciations of his name like Luh-Lloyd

for Nya: shortens her name to 'N' a lot when he's messaging or writing, he also insults her affectionately usually about her being nerdy

for Jay: also a lot of affectionate insults. SPARKIE. I love that one soooo much

for Cole: likes to call him emo-boy because he's the black ninja. also enjoys calling him The Cole as if he's the hulk of their team

for Zane: the classics, bud, buddy, pal, he uses reassuring nicknames because Zane doesn't really understand affectionate insults. also calls him old man because they have no idea what his age is

#ahghghghghgh I love them so much #found family vibes right here #splintered asks #ninjago #lego ninjago #kai smith #kai jiang #ninjago headcanons

[my-soupy-brain]

ted blowing your brains out in kansas cause he can see the way seeing him around michelle makes you uncomfortable (and also bc he needs to remind himself you're there and you're his)

Gonna challenge myself to go hella spicy with this, because I want to be a better smut writer. And I love this prompt. Love it. So let's goooo!

---

Relationship: Ted Lasso x reader (f)

Warnings: Angst and smut ahead!

---

The knots in your stomach were multiplying the minute the plane touched down in Kansas City.

Ted was giddy, of course, to spend time with Henry. Maybe see some old pals from his coaching days here. You were happy just to be with him.

After nearly a year of dating (and several months of courting before that), Ted still can't believe he found you and found love again. And well, Ted is the best. You never dreamed of meeting a perfect man until he waltzed into his life with that perfect smile.

"You ready, spaghetti?" Ted chimes with a grin, heading out the doors to the awaiting cabs. You nod pensively. "Yep, sure am."

You weren't nervous about being in Kansas. No. You were nervous about Michelle.

How would she feel about you? She knows you exist, but you've yet to meet. And Ted was so broken after his divorce... after so many years of love...

The knots in the stomach are back.

When the cab pulls up to Michelle's house (formerly Ted's house) you get out and put on a brave face. Michelle greets you both at the door.

"Hi, y/n! Great to finally meet you," she says, offering a warm hug. So far, so good. She seems...lovely.

"Hi, Ted," Michelle answers quietly, and Ted nods. "Hey there, Michelle."

Hearing her name off his lips even made you uncomfortable, but you stifle the jealousy down. It's in the past.

...

At dinner though, it's a different story.

Ted and Michelle exchange silly inside jokes and stories. She fills him in on folks around town they both know, and he laughs and jokes along with her as they gossip.

"I need to use the bathroom, I'll be right back," Michelle says, leaving the table and winking at Ted. He smiles brightly in return.

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"You OK there, sugar?" he asks, noticing the aura around you.

You nod and take a sip of your cocktail. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

Ted scrunches his eyebrows, not believing you. You smile again and try to push it down.

When Michelle returns, she has yet another story.

"Oh, Ted! Did I tell you about..."

It turns into garbled noise. Your brain is starting to spiral. The history they have. The friendship they have. They've seen each other naked. They had Henry! They're a family! What are you doing here? The minute he can get her back, he'll leave...

"Excuse me," you say, getting up from the table. "I just need some air."

"Do you want me to come..." Ted starts to rise from his chair, and you shake your head. "No. Stay."

Ted's face is painted with worry and you can't hear much as you walk away, but then you hear them laugh.

They're laughing at you. You're another member of their inside joke punchlines…Panic. Breathe. Panic. Breathe. Take a seat. The sun is going down. It's lovely here. Take a breath. Breathe. You're safe. You're OK.

"Baby, breathe," you hear a familiar drawl when you look up from the bench. Ted's kneeling in front of you, his hands gripped around yours.

"It's OK, darlin', you're OK..."

Your eyes are leaking tears down your cheeks -- and when did that start?

His big, warm hand cups your cheek.

"You don't gotta talk about it, but if you wanna tell me what's goin' on, I'm here," he offers quietly, and your eyes scan around, hoping you're not drawing a scene. You open your mouth to answer but you stutter, and nothing comes out.

"Let's head back to the hotel, 'kay?" he asks.

"No, I don't want to ruin the dinner..."

He waves it off. "It's fine, I'd rather be with you anyway."

Your heart lightens a little at that.

In the car, Ted reaches over to grab your hand. Your eyes are out the window, looking at the sunflower fields as they pass by. You take a breath.

"If you want to...I mean...Michelle and you..."

Ted looks over, his own breath hitching.

"If you and Michelle want to get back together, I understand," you finish, clenching your eyes shut. "You have a history. You're a family. I...if I'm in the way..."

Ted shakes his head.

"Darlin' is that what's been on your beautiful brain all night?" he asks quietly, trying not to explode with praise to calm your nerves.

You nod.

"I just see how you are together. I can see...why you two were together...I just..."

Ted squeezes your hand as he pulls up to the hotel.

"Sugar, look at me..."

You look at him, your eyes welling with tears again.

"There ain't a soul on this earth that could get between the two of us," he says, now holding both your hands in his. "That's history. Sure, we share Henry. But everything changed when I met you. And we've moved...on..."

You nod.

"But it's so effortless between you two, don't you think? All that history, all those jokes..."

Ted smiles a little from the corner of his mouth.

"Old jokes. History, not future. You're my future, and I'll have jokes with you, too. We already have our own, right?" You muster a smile.

He gets you both out of the car and to the elevator, holding your hand the whole way. In the room, you feel...better. Just being away from the situation. Alone with Ted again.

...

Ted pulls you in for an embrace as you kick off your shoes.

"I don't want it to be a habit or nothin', sugar, but it's sexy that you were a little jealous..." he whispers to your hair, and you let out a small chuckle.

"I just don't wanna share you, that's all..." you answer. "You're mine."

Ted tightens his embrace, kissing your neck, leading up to your lips, and kissing those, too. His tongue sneaks out and runs against your lips and you moan a little as it turns into a passionate make-out session.

He leans you down in the bed, your faces never separating as you scoot backward toward the pillows, his hand climbing under your shirt.

"That's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," Ted mutters, his breath coming in short and hollow as his arousal takes over.

"What? That you're mine," you answer, and he growls, kissing and sucking on your neck, his hands becoming needier as they move to unbutton your jeans.

He returns the praise, kissing down your neck, then lifting your shirt off and kissing down your breasts.

"I've never felt like I do with you, princess," he murmurs to the soft skin of your chest, your hands pushing down your pants as he unbuckled his belt. The clink of the metal has you salivating.

"You're so damn sexy, so perfect... you turn me on like a damn lightswitch, I swear," he says, leaning over you, his hair mussed from removing his sweater. Your fingers run up under his white t-shirt, over his belly, and to his chest hair.

"No one's touched me like you touch me, no one's wanted me like you want me," he whispers in your ear. "And I'm gonna show ya how much I appreciate how fucking gorgeous and perfect you are for me."

You shudder when he lets out a rare curse, which he only does when his emotions are heightened.

His hands unclasp your bra, his left hand massaging your breast and his mouth wrapped tightly around a perked nipple. He moans while he kisses you, moving down your body, his right hand now grabbing your thigh.

"I'm gonna show you," he says, working his fingers to your panties and tugging them down your thighs. "I'm gonna show you that you're mine. And I'm yours..."

He lowers his face between your legs, his tongue flicking against your clit at a measured pace, but that has you seeing stars and grasping at the sheets below you. His big, warm hands hold your thighs open, his eyes connect with yours, and they're dark and practically black with lust.

"Oh God!" you shout, closing a hand over your mouth from the volume.

"No, none of that now," he says, his voice low and husky in his Kansas drawl. "Let everyone hear how good that feels..."

Your back arches off the bed when he sucks against your hole, a finger and then two sliding in and hooking just right, massaging the spot inside you that makes you goddamn delirious.

"That's right, my sweet good girl..." he coos to you. "Let go for me, because I ain't done with you tonight."

Your eyes roll back as your climax crashes through you, your thighs quivering around his head. He smiles proudly, riding you through it with soft strokes against your swollen lips.

When he climbs back up the bed you pull him down into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. Your hands push his pants and underwear off in one motion, and he kicks them off the bed, curling under the blanket with your naked bodies wrapped together.

"Lay on your side," he mutters, his voice shaky. Your hand grasps him for a moment, pumping him slowly and he groans as he watches you work his cock.

He lays down and faces you, bringing your leg over his hip, and he pushes his hard, thick cock into you, making you shudder.

"Oh fuck, Ted..." you murmur, feeling your soaked pussy take each delicious inch of him.

His hand on your thigh holds you in place while he thrusts slow but so damn deep you can feel it in your stomach.

"Look at me," he requests, and you do. His eyes are dark, his hair falling over his forehead. He kisses you passionately again, your breath between you short and staggered.

"You're all I want in this damn life," he says to you, whispering it to your lips but looking in your eyes. "You're all I'll ever need. All I'll ever want..."

He ruts his hips harder, your hands on his broad chest, your mouth caught agape in a moan.

"Yeah, right there," he whispers to himself. "Ya feel that? That's what you and only you can do to me..."

A deep, long moan escapes your lips. "Oh, God, Ted..."

He smiles kissing your neck, his own moans peppered against your skin as he fucks into you.

"Mmmm...you're so tight, sugar," he praises you. "And this body, my God...you're so damn perfect, every curve. Every delicious curve on this body..."

You kiss the words from his lips, your body starting to tremble and tighten again...

"I can feel you, baby. Come on my cock for me, I'm yours and you're mine, so come just for me," he begs. "My fucking goddess."

Your head rolls forward against his shoulder as you cry out his name, your body pulsing, pussy clenching around him, milking him.

"Yeah, there she is," he coos. "That feel good, baby? I'm almost there..."

You kiss him passionately, deep. Pouring every ounce of yourself into it.

"No one makes me feel like you do, baby," you answer. "You're all mine, and I'm all yours..."

He groans loud, crying out your name as he clutches your hip, playfully slaps your ass and ruts into you with everything he has.

"Keep going, oh God, I'm about to..."

He smiles, wanting you to come over with him. With one tiny adjustment to his angle, he hits a place that has you seeing stars. Your body let's go in a shudder, cursing, with your chest blushed and eyes glassy.

"Oh God, y/n..." Ted moans, and with three more hard thrusts he explodes, spilling into you, your bodies still pushing with each other to ride through it. He nearly shouts in relief.

He rolls you to your back and goes into the bathroom, returning with. a damp warm washcloth, opening your thighs and running it between you.

"Come back," you beg, your voice hoarse from the moaning and shouting. Sweat glistens on your forehead and your body is warm with a flood of endorphins.

He crawls in next to you with a smile, kissing your shoulder, rolling you to his chest.

A few moments of breath catching and he smiles down at you.

"Damn, sugar. You took the wind right outta me," he says with a smirk. "Ain't nothin' can top how you make me feel."

You sigh and run your hand down his chest, and he covers it with his own. You feel him deliver a kiss to the top of your head.

"I love you so much, Ted... I'm sorry for..."

But he cuts you off.

"Not to interrupt ya, darlin', but you've got nothin' to apologize for."

You look at him. "Well, I just got in my head..."

He scoots down and faces you, nearly nose to nose, leaning in to kiss you. His soft lips and warm breath and tease of his tongue makes you forget what you were gonna say next.

"You're my future, sweetheart. I ain't goin' nowhere without you."

---

I'm really trying to be better at writing spicy stuff. But thank you for this prompt! It was so sexy and cute. I just think Ted would be floored to have someone who cares about him that much, and he'd want to return the sentiments. Thanks for the prompt, my friend

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso x you #ted lasso reader insert #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso smut #ted loves being claimed

[kai-anderson-whore]

He's a cult leader part 10 (kai Anderson x fem reader series)

Warnings: kai's volunteers being assholes, beverly threating to take kai out, kai talking about pregnancy, pregnancy, killing, cults, ally joining the cult

Part 9 here

Taglist: @spill-the-t @iluwmycats @lili-tate @evanpeterswifeyy868 @jademunson @evanpetersfansblog @howtobesasha @lustforeverrrr @fand0mh03

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

As the weeks went by kai's leg healed more better he could now ditch the walking stick and move around, but as for you kai sent all the woman to work in the kitchen at ivy's restaurant, you hated it kai's minions making comments about you to your face you lost count of how many times winter had to stop you from punching them.

And today was no different you handed the plate of food ivy made to one of kai's men with a glum look on your face "Oh cheer up y/n if you smile more and don't have a bitchy attitude you'd be 100 times more bangible" one of them said "is that right and if your divine ruler heard you talking to me like that your head will be bangible with a gun" you smiled fakely walking away hearing his pals laughing at the comeback you gave.

Meanwhile kai was at home with his brother in the basement, "kai I didn't know you were doing all this starting a movement running for senator it's incredible" kai's brother said shocked that he didn't know about all of that he felt guilty he didn't.

They conversed about posting videos for social media and whatnot but deep down kai's brother knew this was going down hill.

You stormed into the kitchen angrily "the next time one of them makes a comment about me I swear I'll be in prison" you yelled clenching your fist, "well you can just get kai to deal with it can't you" beverly sniggered you shook your head "No because it will be my fault bev for some reason it's always my fault and I'm putting a fucking plate infront of their gutsy faces" you snapped.

Winter and ivy came in ivy also angry at them too "we've let this shit go too far already but I've been thinking about this those boys are just grunts, they don't so much as take a shit unless he tells them to, but if we cut off the head of the snake the entire army falls" beverly stated your eyes went wide "you can't do that" you said.

"Oh yeah why not" beverly said walking up to you "because you fuck him y/n think about it he treats you like absolute shit and you take it he cheated on you he even raised his hands to you yet your too dickmatised to even stand up to him" beverly sniggered.

"Because me and winter know the real kai unlike you lot okay he was once a caring sweet guy just he's too far into the darkness" you said waving your hands around, "Tell them winter" you said depending on what she was going to say next, winter told the woman what made her brother change from a sweet person to the person he is today.

Winter told you the story months ago after you and kai had another fight and you knew if you were to see what they did it would mess you up too, "he's lost his way but we can try and put him on the right path me and y/n will go to him he'll listen to us" winter said you knew that kai was too deep in the rabbit hole to come back from at this point.

"Fine we'll try it your way but come to the end the week if I'm still in this god damn kitchen, I'm coming for your brother and you both better get out of my way" beverly warned you didn't want kai to get hurt but it would be his own fault if anything were to happen to him.

You felt sick to your stomach knowing members were starting to turn against kai, but you knew if kai found out it wouldn't be pretty for other members of the cult.

A few days later you were laying on yours and kais bed watching something on the tv feeling sick to your stomach for days on end you didn't know what it was nerves, a gut feeling that something not good was going to happen you didn't know.

You were stopped in your thoughts by one of kai's volunteers entering your room, "divine ruler wants to see you in the basement pronto" they informed with a soft sigh you grabbed your phone taking it with you down to the basement seeing kai sitting there with his mustered coloured shirt on.

"You wanted to see me" you said you hadn't had any alone time with kai since his volunteers came here so you wanted whatever this was to be good but deep down you knew it was most likely the opposite.

"Come sit with me" kai instructed his eyes boring into you his pinky raised out, you sat on the chair connecting your pinky with his, kai took in a deep breath before exhaling, "Absolute truth, do you love me?, will you always be loyal to me" He asked you couldn't help but have a tear running down your cheek, "yes but sometimes you make it so hard to kai" you whispered.

"It's time for you to understand y/n your place in the bigger picture i must have your vow" kai said, you felt nervous and scared "yes" you whimperd as the more silent tears trickled down your cheeks, noticing kai's tears pulling his pinky away from your own, you didn't know what was going on this wasn't like kai to do this.

"Kai?" You said bending down infront of him in concern, "kai what's wrong I never seen you interrupt a pinky power before" you said taking his hand in yours, kai just looked at you before saying anything, "I just love you so much our family" kai stated you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter when he said he loves you but confusion when he said our family, "our family?" You asked "the family we're going to make" kai whispered

"I need you to prove your loyalty to me" kai sighed you furrowed your brows, you already proven yourself loyal to him time and time again, "what do you mean" you asked with a hint of uncertainty in your tone that kai caught on to very quickly.

"A life changing experience for the cult" kai stated you still couldn't comprehend what he was trying to say, "kai" you whispered now worried of what he had planned for you, "you will be carrying my messiah baby" kai spit out like it was nothing, you were shocked it was beyond belief you hadn't been back together A full year and to add to it all this is not the environment to raise a baby.

"You got to be kidding me kai" you chuckled not believing what he's telling you, "I'm not kidding I need someone to take over one day when I'm gone from this world and what better person to give me that than you" he shrugged nonchalantly, "kai this is fucking crazy I'm not getting pregnant" you said seeing the anger grow in kais eyes his fist slamming down on the wooden table.

"After everything we've been through over the years y/n huh?" Kai yelled, "kai this isn't the right place to raise a baby and you know that, plus we're not stable enough to have a baby we breakup all the time it won't be good for the kid" you defended, "your the one that kept breaking up with me" kai scoffed "because YOU cheated on me" you yelled lifting yourself from the ground and went to leave the basement but kai knew how to get under your skin.

"You know I could have asked Meadow if she was still alive and you know what she would have instantly spread her legs for me to pregnate her" you heard kai say his arms folded puffing his chest proudly at his statement, "you seriously just said that kai then why didn't you keep her alive then if she was so easy to do whatever you please" you yelled turning your body to him.

"Because she's not like you your the only one I want carrying my heir" kai said you didn't know what to feel anymore, angry, worried the list went on when it came to kai, "I chose you to carry my child y/n no one else" kai whispered his hand cupped your cheek  his thumb grazing over the skin.

Before you could say anything else kais lips were on yours hungrily, you couldn't help but moan into the kiss moving your lips in sync with his, kais tongue swiped across your bottom lip seeking entry which you granted him, your hand on the back of his neck as he guided you both to the sofa.

A few days went since kai told you about getting you pregnant, you were still against it but gave in kai was going to ally's house to talk with her you stayed behind doing housework with winter, "I can't believe him honestly" you sighed putting laundry away, "this isn't a place to raise a kid especially around kai" winter said you felt the tears roll down your face again 'what if i an pregnant?' You thought you hadn't been feeling right since the last time you and kai had been together.

"Winter I think I actually might be" you said winter's head snapped to you in shock, "what do you mean?" She asked "a few weeks ago I haven't been feeling right ever since do you maybe have a spare test or something" you asked winter nodded heading to her room grabbing a spare test she had laying around.

You went into the bathroom taking the test, waiting on the results you washed your hands taking the test with you back to winter, "I'm scared winter what if I am how would kai really react?, what if he changes his mind," all the worst case scenarios running through your head, "Hey he won't change his mind maybe this will change him for the better" she smiled bringing you in for a hug as you cried in her arms.

Kai finally came home you didn't realise still crying in winters arms, "What's going on here?" He asked looking around the room finally landing his eyes on the test by the chest of drawers, he picked up the test you watched his with glassy eyes his expression was unreadable, "your pregnant?" He questioned, "a few weeks I think" I whispered kai's face light up bringing you in for a hug.

"We're going to be a family" he beamed making you feel better about the situation, "I need you to stay off cult things and the kitchen your only job is to make sure the baby is fine" kai instructed, all you could say that day was that you saw the real kai, the old kai for longer than a second.

The next night you sat in you and kais shared bedroom once again whilst the cult did whatever they were doing, you heard shouting, but it didn't phase you you learned that ally Mayfair Richards was now a member of the cult but you didn't trust her and you let kai know about that too.

After a while kai went upstairs in his cult gear changing into nightwear, "how's the baby" he asked, "still growing who did you kill?" You asked curiously eyes still fixated on the book you were reading, "I told you that cult stuff is not your priority right now" kai said shoving some grey sweatpants on, "I'm still making it one of my priorities" you shrugged kai let out a smirk climbing into bed with you.

"Vincent" he mumbled pulling the covers over him, "your brother" you asked you liked Vincent wondering why kai killed his own brother, "he tried to jeopardise me by trying to get me locked up" he informed, you didn't say anything closing your book over, "I called the doctors today" you changed the subject.

"Oh yeah what did they say?" He asked pulling you closer to him, "we have an appointment next week for a first scan make sure there is indeed a baby there and that they're healthy so be free then" you said with a yawn closing your eyes, kai had been more affectionate since yesterday when you told him about the pregnancy, he was over the moon but you were always sceptical of it all

#american horror story #evan peters #james patrick march #tate langdon #kit walker #ahs asylum #evan peters x reader #jimmy darling #kai anderson #kai anderson x reader #kyle spencer #austin sommers #evan peters imagine #evan peters smut #evan peters fanfic #evan peters fanfiction #evan peters icons #evan peters fluff #evan peters requests #evan peters x y/n #evan peters x you #evanpeters #evanpetersedit #ahs smut #ahs fandom #ahs murder house #ahs fanfic #ahs apocalypse #ahs coven #ahs cult

[rubberduckrobin]

Hey hope your having a great day!

I was wondering if I could request a story with Shane x Male reader? maybe just them slowly falling in love over time.

Thank You

-🐭

Hey, Anon!

Thank you so so much for the request, I enjoyed writing it a lot!

It turned out a bit long...so what I'm going to do is post it in 2 sections: parts 1, 2 & 3 and parts 4, 5 & 6. This is section 1. I'll link section 2 at the end :) [or you can just find it after this post].

Sorry for the complications! But I really hope you enjoy (and anyone else reading too!)

For my AO3 pals: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50214880

To fall for someone. - Shane x M! Reader

Summary: On a dreary repeated day, Shane finds something that can finally make him feel free; or rather, someone.

Note: R/N means Reader's Name.

TW: Deep topics & alcohol usage, mild profanity

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

Shane’s perspective throughout.

Part 1: A repetitive day meets a new end.

Stacking shelves at Joja Mart. As usual. 

Watching the clock over my shoulder, ticking for worthless time. As usual.

The sky through the back windows, gloomy and grey, as are my own dull eyes; I watch the clouds swirl, threatening thunder. 

I sigh. 

A walk home in the rain; a way to dampen the already shitty mood. 

One more minute until I finish my day - the day I have been living for an entire year. 

It’s always the same; the shelves, the clock, the darkness. Everythings the same, and nothing has changed…I can’t stand it. 

What’s the point?

The clock ticks 5:00 and I'm off. My bag, light due to being filled with nothing but empty beer cans, slumps over my shoulder as the automatic doors open reluctantly.

————————————————

Life is getting tedious. What’s the point? 

If I have to wake up everyday and do the exact same shitty thing, every. single. day. Then why am I even here? I’m not helping anyone and I’m just a burden. 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

I feel heavy. My bag is light but I feel heavy. Everything hurts. 

I stumbled out of the saloon at exactly 11:00 PM.

11:00PM.

The same as usual.

Everything hurts and is heavy. As usual. 

Looking up at the sky, I watch a solitary bird amongst the midnight black and I can’t help but wonder if that bird has a purpose too. 

I can’t help but wonder if anything has a purpose. 

And that’s when I see him. 

Watching the same bird. The same sky. But smiling. I’ve forgotten how to smile, how does it feel?

I’ve never seen this guy before. Somehow…it feels refreshingly new. 

Promising.

But why?

What’s the point?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Part 2: Like a moth to a flame.

He sees me. And I feel warmth.

I don’t know how it's possible; I'm in my usual shabby, thin and lint ridden clothes, shivering, watching the sky, in cold, cold rain yet somehow…I feel warmth. 

I shouldn’t want to find out, there’s no point. But somehow, a part of me wants to know more about this stranger, and the fire they started in my heart, whatever my heart is for.

Whatever my heart is for, it longs for them and I can’t deny it. I’m alone in the rain with my consciousness, but then they are here, with me, and my emptiness, even my hidden sadness, and I can’t help feeling like I want to know more. To feel more. More warmth. 

“Ahem. You’ve been staring for quite a while.”

I ruin everything. Of course he’s going to run away and maybe it's for the best.

“At the sky, I mean. But, I guess you've been kinda spacey around my face region.”

This man. He laughs and a blazen passion is sought in my heart.

“Oh…uh…yeah.”

As my only comfort, I bring my hands to my pockets, hands quivering as frostbite makes its way up my fingertips to my palm.

“Nice weather we’re having.”

I can’t respond… It’s meant to be funny, and I'm meant to laugh, but I haven’t laughed in ages…whatever ‘ages’ is, anymore.

“Not into sarcastic jokes? Huh…kay’. Got it…how about…dad jokes? You seem like you like them.”

My only response is a grunt as I turn my back to him. 

He’s trying to cheer me up - he’s too sweet for me. Hurting someone sweet would only make things bitter and worse. For the both of us.

I distinguish the flame in my cradling mind and heart, and go home.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Part 3: Why does the sun come out every morning, and the moon to shine at night?

Waking up is difficult, but not impossible. I’ve done it for years. 

I need to work. It’s the only way I’m useful.

What’s the point?

I don’t know, but today is no different. I put on the same clothes and head to work.

Well, I tried. 

There he was. Outside the house, sleeping on the grass. 

“What on earth are you doing?”

I watch as he wakes violently, confused and drowsy. 

“Huh? Oh…huh?”

“…” It doesn’t matter what I say or do. However, somehow, I care for him alot more than I have ever done for someone, especially myself. “Were you drunk last night?”

“Probably. And you, Mr. Handsome Hangover?”

I don’t need to hear more. I shouldn't put more effort into my curious care. Plus, I'm going to be late.

I turn my back once again and walk down the path. I can’t allow myself to think such things.

To my half-annoyance, I hear the sound of footsteps.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“To work. Now go away.”

“What if I said no?”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

 There he is. In front of all of the staff, including me of course, introducing himself.

Why.

“Hello! Nice to meet you, and pleasure to be working with you.”

The staff here aren’t the nicest of people so they disregard his warm welcome and immediately shuffle off to work. I don’t blame them. I know what its like working in a corporate shithole for years.

We’re here for work, not for pleasantries. 

I’m just about to join them, when he approaches me.

“Sup. That was a surprise, wasn't it!” he holds his hand out to shake, “well, as you know, I’m (R/N)”

“I don’t care, go away.”

I do care. I really do. I just can’t be bothered for a relationship of any sorts. Its enough having to maintain one with Jas and Marnie. I just…can’t. 

They are already concerned and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone else.

“Oh, yes you do! You stared at me for a good five minutes before you ran off.”

“Stop.”

I begin to distract myself with the shelves I am so familiar with. I can hear the silence and vacancy of this new…bothersome man. 

Looking over my shoulder, I notice he’s hard at work. Huh. Quite surprising. Not completely. People like him are very strong. Mentally, that is. They can put their mind to anything and get it done just fine. I guess one of the things he put his mind to was socialising with me, nobody. I wonder why. 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“Huh? Oh, cause’ you seemed lonely.”

What’s a better place than the saloon to coincidentally meet someone you’ve been trying to avoid and ignore all day in order to save both of your sanities all at once. 

And an even better place to make a fool of yourself by asking why he approached you the other night, especially when a little tipsy.

Lonely? Do I really look lonely? I never knew it was that…obvious. 

“Oh.”

“And may I ask, why did you walk off that night?”

He says, leaning in, like the devil's temptation, a shot glass dangling seductivley at the tips of his fingers.

“Because.”

“Because?~”

“Because. Now let me be alone.”

“All right.”

Thank god.

“But just one thing.”

Ugh.

“What’s your name?”

I lost my nametag for work a while ago. 

“Shane.”

“Nice to meet you, Shane.”

Why must it be that the warmth seeks my lonely heart instead of those who deserve it?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Another lonely night in my cold bed. I can hear the wind howl, smell my unwashed odoresome sheets, taste the pungent biting liquor from tonight’s round and see nothing but the moonlight filtering through my tattered blinds.

I can feel the tears on my cheeks but It doesn't feel like I'm crying.

I’ve forgotten what crying is, because I've done it so often. I’ve also forgotten the feeling of stopping. 

One of my only escapes is the drinks. 

I need another one, soon, before it becomes more than just a distraction.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

SECTION 2: PARTS 4, 5 & 6

#ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #stardew shane #shane x reader #shane stardew valley #sdv #sdv fanfic #stardew fic #stardew fanfic #sdv shane #shane sdv #shane x farmer #stardew valley #stardew valley shane #ao3 author #ao3 link #ao3 writer #fluff #sorta slowburn #male reader #🐭 #anon ask #send anons

[cevansbrat0007]

Baby Barber Babbles

Summary: Bianca is confused when her baby sister KitCat won’t talk to her.

*Warnings: Fluff, Bianca’s First Words, Katrina’s First Words, Snuggles, Dancing, Sweet Daddy Andy, Big Sister BiBi, Happy Reader, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. As always, I’d love your feedback, so please let me know what you think. Semi-proofread. Not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

___

It was nearly bedtime for both you and the girls. 

You find your husband in the kitchen, dutifully putting away leftovers from dinner. 

“Hi, handsome.” You murmur as you burrow into his side. Tonight you wanted cuddles.

Andy grins down at you as he closes the fridge. “Well hello there, beautiful.  

“I like your face. You are the most handsomest Andy Bear who has ever lived.” You tell him with a sweet grin.

“You like my face, baby girl? Or do you like my muscles?” He whispers before lightly tickling your ribs. “I saw you admiring them at dinner. Don’t think I didn’t notice.” 

“See, you’re going too far now. I was just trying to give you a little compliment to help boost your ego.” You giggle as you bat his hands away. “Stop tickling me! Don’t make me go for your ears, damn it!”

“My bad, honey. Please forgive me.” He murmurs as he flexes an impressive bicep. “I wasn’t thinking.”

 “You know what, Big Man? Once we put the girls down, this baby is gonna need snuggles. Can you provide or do I need to invest in a Pillow Pal?”

“Fuck that shit. I’ll snuggle your cute little ass all day long. Now let’s get our beautiful girls to bed.” 

___

Andy sighs as he finishes rereading Green Eggs and Ham for the third time in a row.

“Alright, my sweet BiBi, it’s time for you to go to sleep now.” He kisses her forehead before rising from her bed. “Good night, little love.” He turns to walk out of the room. 

“Daddy, wait!” She calls.

“Hmm?”

“Have ask.”

“You have a question?” Andy’s little girl vigorously nods her head. “Okay, go for it.”

“Um…” Her little hand goes to rub the side of her face. “Is, is dat, um, how come KitCat no talk to me?”

“What?” Andy moves to kneel beside his daughter’s bed. 

“I talk tah KitCat all dah time, and she no talk back. She maybe no like me? I do somefing bad?”

It takes Andy a moment to put everything together. 

“Oh my goodness. BiBi! You’ve done nothing wrong. Your little sister is just too small right now to talk the way we do right now. But she listens to everything you say. And she loves you. Why do you think she smiles every time she sees you? You make her happy.” He rubs a comforting hand over her little belly.

“I do?”

“Yep. Mama and Daddy are so happy that you talk to her the way you do. Because that is one of the only ways that she’s going to learn how to speak. She needs to hear from her big sister. So we need you to keep talking to her, okay?” 

BiBi nods her head. 

“Daddy? Nuther ask.”

“Go ahead, baby.”

“Did I ever no talk? Like KitCat?”

Now that makes him smile.

“There was a time when you were itty bitty like her. Just an itty bitty little thing. And you didn’t talk. Not with words. But one day, Mama and I were playing with you. And Daddy was making funny sounds. You were laughing so hard - I’m talking about this crazy little laugh that I wish I had on video to show you. And you fell over backwards onto the bed, still laughing. Your Mama sat you back up, and you looked at both of us and said “Hi!”, before falling back over again. It was one of the best days of our lives.” Andy tells her as he lightly ruffles her hair. “And then you never stopped. 

“So just keep talking to Katrina, okay? I promise that one of these days, she’ll talk back.” 

“Kay.” Bianca murmurs as sleep begins to overtake her. 

___

,Three Days Later…

You place Katrina in her highchair while you prepare her morning puree. As soon as you got her settled, you could put some of the breakfast scramble you’d cooked on plates. Andy was working on getting Bianca dressed. 

The older she got, the more you two tended to argue about what she was going to wear. You were too much alike sometimes. But with her Daddy? He could suggest she wear a burlap sack and it would be no big deal.

But you loved your girl anyway. She made up for all her sass with evening cuddles. 

‘I dressed, Mama!” Your BiBi calls out. She comes down the stairs rocking a gray shirt and silver leggings ensemble, complete with a purple tutu. 

“Well, don’t you look gorgeous, baby girl?” You coo at her, because she really was beautiful. “Can Mama have a kiss?”

She rushes into your arms. “Pretty Mama! I wook wike mah pretty Mama!” She smacks a kiss onto your cheek. 

“An’ hi KitCat! How you dis mornin? Play peek-a-boo wif Sissy?” She puts her hands over her eyes before pulling them away and making little KitCat giggle.

You and Andy watch as your Bianca gently plays with your other little baby. You loved the fact that she talked to Katrina all day long. She always wanted to explain stuff and show her things. Or feed her a bottle. There was no jealousy. At least not yet. What the hell? All of the books you’d read had said be prepared for jealousy!

Bianca puts her hands over her face again to keep the game going. “Peek-a-boo!”

Katrina giggles.

And so it goes.

“Peek-a-boo!”

More laughter.

“Peek-a-boo!”

Biance pauses the game when she sees her Mama putting breakfast on plates. “Mama, can I haf’ a waffle wif dah eggs pwease?” She asks. 

“Of course. I’ll drop in the toaster for you in just a moment.”

“Fank you, and Mama -”

“BI-BI!”

You, Bianca, and Andy all turn around and around, trying to figure out where the sound came from.

“BI-BI!” Katrina growls. You gaze zeros in on your baby girl who is strapped into her highchair. You watch as she playfully puts a chunky hand over her eye. 

“Sissy!” Bianca squeals. “Hi, Sissy! You talk to me! Peek-a-boo!”

Katrina giggles and then yells “BI-BI!” once again. Which makes your other baby dance. 

“Sissy talk to me! Yeah she talk to me. Cuz’ love me an’ I love her. So she talk to me! I’s a happy BiBi!” Your daughter keeps dancing, her little limbs flailing this way and that. 

“BI-BI.” KitCat grunts again. 

“I comin’ Sissy! Fank you for talkin’ tah me. We dance summore!” Bianca says as she kicks up a little leg. 

END

#Chris Evans #andy barber #chris evans x black!reader #andy barber x woc!reader #andy barber black!reader #chris evans fanfiction #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber imagines #chris evans imagines #andy barber x fem!reader #andy barber x yn #Cevansbrat0007 fic #cevansbrat0007growing pains series #bianca barber #katrina barber

[cgdizzy]

About Dizzy!!

☆ You can call me Dizzy or Kai :D

☆ I’m a caregiver/babysitter/whatever you’d like to call me :p

☆ I don’t have any littles at all, I’m kind of new to this :,)

☆ I have Fnd, Autism and chronic pain !

☆ My pronouns are he/they/pup and I’m trans masc :)

☆ You can call me anything masc aligned c: (papa, dada, baba, big brother, ect) or any nicknames :)

☆ Any age can interact :) I don’t mind!!

☆ This page is strictly sfw and child friendly!!

☆ You can send asks and dm me about anything and I’ll be here for you to the best of my ability :)

☆ I’ve lurker around agere tumblr for a year or so but never interacted xD

☆ I’m Scottish :)

Dizzy likes..

♡︎ Arts and crafty stuff :3

♡︎ Sharks!!

♡︎ I luv cats and bunnies!! I have 7 cats and 1 bun!

♡︎ Tv shows n movies: Bluey, Hilda, HTTYD, Marvel, Spider-Man, mlp, Carmen sandiego, Lilo and stitch & 9-1-1

♡︎ Games: ACNH, Walking dead, Mail time, Sally face, Little nightmares & more!!

♡︎ I love plushies and collect them :) they’re a special interest of mine :3

♡︎ Writing/pen palling :00 I haven’t had a pen pal in ages I miss it :(

DNI with Dizzy if:

☼ ableist, transphobic, homophobic, nsfw blog, ddlg/abdl and similar kinks, anti recovery, proana, prosh, transmed, if you wouldn’t want a child to see your blog, gore, anti-agere, anti-petre, ppl who think agere is nsfw (which is not true!!!)

Thank you for reading!! Have a good day :3

#agere blog #agere #safe agere #sfw agere #age regression #sfw caregiver #safe space #agere caregiver #agere community #sfw petre #petre caregiver

[kaysayshey]

Omg ur tags on my patreon post ur so sweet aaaaa!!!

STOP you’re so sweet 😭 i love your writing & am so glad to see you on my dash! i hope you get tons of support on patreon - if i get this ta spot and have more cash, i’m gonna act up for your writing lol!

#kay n pals #luxe luxe luxe #xoxoxo

[sundove88]

Despicable Me (Sundove88’s Version Casting)

You can find the original Here.

A man who delights in all things wicked, supervillain Guzma hatches a plan to steal the moon. Surrounded by an army of little green bug types and his impenetrable arsenal of weapons and war machines, Guzma makes ready to vanquish all who stand in his way. But nothing in his calculations and groundwork has prepared him for his greatest challenge: three adorable orphan girls who want to make him their dad.

Now that Guzma has forsaken a life of crime to raise Nezuko, Eri, and Lillie, he's trying to figure out how to provide for his new family. As he struggles with his responsibilities as a father, the Anti-Villain League, an organization dedicated to fighting evil, comes calling. The AVL sends Guzma on a mission to capture the perpetrator of a spectacular heist, for who would be better than the world's greatest ex-villain to capture the individual who seeks to usurp his power.

The mischievous bug types hope that Guzma will return to a life of crime after the new boss of the Anti-Villain League fires him. Instead, Guzma decides to remain retired and travel to Freedonia to meet his long-lost twin brother for the first time. The reunited siblings soon find themselves in an uneasy alliance to take down the elusive Binary Bard, a former Astro Knights inventor who seeks revenge against the world.

Evolving from single-celled multicolored organisms at the dawn of time, bug types live to serve, but find themselves working for a continual series of unsuccessful masters, from T. Rex to Napoleon. Without a master to grovel for, the Bug Types fall into a deep depression. But one bug type, Golisopod, has a plan; accompanied by his pals Accelgor and Escavalier, Golisopod sets forth to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. Their search leads them to Maleficent, the world's first-ever super-villainess.

In the 1970s, young Guzma tries to join a group of supervillains called the Vicious 6 after they oust their leader -- the legendary fighter Jiraiya. When the interview turns disastrous, Guzma and his Bug Types go on the run with the Vicious 6 hot on their tails. Luckily, he finds an unlikely source for guidance -- Jiraiya himself -- and soon discovers that even bad guys need a little help from their friends.

Guzma as Felonius Gru (Pokemon)

Beedrill as Bob (Pokemon)

Centiskorch as Carl (Pokemon)

Golisopod as Kevin (Pokemon)

Escavalier as Stuart (Kirby)

Accelgor as Jerry (Kirby)

Dustox as Mel (Kirby)

Butterfree as Dave (Kirby)

Ledian as Tim (Kirby)

Yanmega as Otto (Pokemon)

Ribombee as Themselves/Gru’s Emotional Support (Pokemon)

Eri as Agnes (My Hero Academia)

Nezuko as Margo (Demon Slayer)

Lillie as Edith (Pokemon)

Awoofy as Kyle (Kirby)

Agatha as Marlena Gru (Pokemon)

Professor Turo as Dr. Nefario (Pokemon)

Ghetsis as Robert Gru (Pokemon)

Kai Chisaki as Vector (My Hero Academia)

Scar as Mr. Perkins (The Lion King)

Zira as Herself/Mrs. Perkins (The Lion King)

Dolores Umbridge as Miss Hattie (Harry Potter)

Raiden Shogun as Lucy Wilde (Genshin Impact)

Asgore as Silas Ramsbottom

(Undertale)

Ruto as Jillian (The Legend of Zelda)

Magda as Shannon (The Legend of Zelda)

Vaati as Antonio Perez (The Legend of Zelda)

Ganondorf as Eduardo Perez/El Macho (The Legend of Zelda)

Lady Maud as Herself/El Macho’s Wife (The Legend of Zelda)

Maleficent as Scarlet Overkill (Sleeping Beauty)

Hades as Herb Overkill (Hercules)

Mal as herself/Scarlet's Daughter

(Descendants)

Felix as Walter Nelson (Encanto)

Pepa as Madge Nelson (Encanto)

Dolores as Tina Nelson (Encanto)

Camilo as Walter Nelson Jr. (Encanto)

Antonio as Binky Nelson (Encanto)

Various Villains as the Villain Con

Attendees

N Harmonia as Dru Gru (Pokemon)

Youngster Joey as Himself/Dru's Adoptive Son (Pokemon)

Binary Bard as Balthazar Bratt (Poptropica)

Holmes as Clive (Poptropica)

Monster Kid as Niko (Undertale)

Gogoat as Lucky (Pokemon)

Jiraiya as Wild Knuckles (Naruto)

Magica De Spell as Belle Bottom (Ducktales)

Haxorous as Dragon!Belle Bottom (Pokemon)

The Ghoulfather as Jean Clawed (Yo-Kai Watch)

Annihilape as Monkey!Jean Clawed (Pokemon)

Gaston as Stronghold (Beauty and The Beast)

Tauros as Ox!Stronghold (Pokemon)

Queen Grimhilde as Nunchuck (Snow White and The 7 Dwarves)

Arbok as Snake!Nunchuck (Pokemon)

Jafar as Svengeance (Aladdin)

Incineroar as Tiger!Svengance (Pokemon)

Korina as Master Chow (Pokemon)

Duke Caboom as The Biker (Toy Story)

Here’s your hint to the next Crossover Casting (It’s Don Bluth):

👸🇷🇺🎶

#crossover casting #parody #illumination #despicable me #despicable me 2 #despicable me 3 #minions #minions the rise of gru #Pokemon #my hero academia #demon slayer #kirby #Disney #the lion king #Harry Potter #Genshin impact #Undertale #the Legend of Zelda #sleeping beauty #Hercules #descendants #Encanto #poptropica #Naruto #Ducktales #yo Kai watch #Beauty and the beast #snow white and the 7 dwarfs #Aladdin #Toy Story

[balioc]

BALIOC’S READING LIST, 2022 EDITION

With one exception, this list counts only published books, consumed in published-book format, that I read for the first time and finished. (There was one serious-seeming book that, as far as I know, exists only in free-floating PDF form.) No rereads, nothing abandoned halfway through, no Internet detritus of any kind apart from the aforementioned, etc.  Also no children’s picture books.

1. The Blue Castle, Lucy Maude Montgomery

2. The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, Priya Parker

3. The Girl and the Mountain, Mark Lawrence

4. There Is No Antimemetics Division, qntm

5. Dreamsnake, Vonda N. McIntyre

6. War and State Building in Medieval Japan, Various (ed. John A. Ferejohn and Frances McCall Rosenbluth)

7. Legal Systems Very Different From Ours, David Friedman, Peter T. Leeson, and David Skarbek

8. The Revolutions, Felix Gilman

9. Age of Ash, Daniel Abraham

10. When the Sea Turned to Silver, Grace Lin

11. Summer in Orcus, T. Kingfisher

12. The Thousand Eyes, A. K. Larkwood

13. Kingfall, David Estes

14. Surrogation, Suspended Reason

15. The Hands of the Emperor, Victoria Goddard

16. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro

17. Hakkenden -- Part 1: "An Ill-Considered Jest," Kyokutei Bakin

18. Claws of the Cat, Susan Spann

19. Blade of the Samurai, Susan Spann

20. Flask of the Drunken Master, Susan Spann

21. The Ninja's Daughter, Susan Spann

22. Betrayal at Iga, Susan Spann

23. Trial at Mount Koya, Susan Spann

24. Ghost of the Bamboo Road, Susan Spann

25. Fires of Edo, Susan Spann

26. The Discord of Gods, Jenn Lyons

27. All the Seas of the World, Guy Gavriel Kay

28. Don Rodriguez: Chronicles of Shadow Valley, Edward Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

29. Streets of Gold: America's Untold Story of Immigrant Success, Ran Abramitzky and Leah Bousyan

30. Harrow the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

31. Perhaps the Stars, Ada Palmer

32. Dreadgod, Will Wight

33. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal, Christopher Moore

34. Manfred, George Gordon, Lord Byron

35. Friend to Mankind: Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499), Various (ed. Michael Shepherd)

36. Locklands, Robert Jackson Bennett

37. The Jade Setter of Janloon, Fonda Lee

38. Spring Snow, Yukio Mishima

39. Against All Gods, Miles Cameron

40. Nona the Ninth, Tamsyn Muir

41. Slouching Towards Utopia: An Economic History of the Twentieth Century, J. Bradford DeLong

42. The Golden Enclaves, Naomi Novik

43. The Rise of the Dragon: An Illustrated History of the Targaryen Dynasty, Vol. I, George R. R. Martin, Elio M. Garcia Jr., and Linda Antonsson

44. A Garter as a Lesser Gift, Aster Glenn Gray

45. The Night-Bird's Feather, Jenna Moran

46. Absolution by Murder, Peter Tremayne

47. The Lost Metal, Brandon Sanderson

48. Shroud for the Archbishop, Peter Tremayne

49. Yamada Monogatari: Demon Hunter, Richard Parks

50. Yamada Monogatari: To Break the Demon Gate, Richard Parks

51. Yamada Monogatari: The War God's Son, Richard Parks

52. Yamada Monogatari: The Emperor in Shadow, Richard Parks

53. Pulling the Wings off Angels, K. J. Parker

54. Laurus, Eugene Vodolazkin

55. The Ogre's Wife: Fairy Tales for Grownups, Richard Parks

56. The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, Fyodor Dostoevsky

Plausible works of improving nonfiction consumed in 2021: 7

[“plausible” and “improving” are being defined very liberally here]

Works written by women consumed in 2021: 23

Works written by men consumed in 2021: 29

Works written by both men and women consumed in 2021: 4

Balioc’s Choice Award, Fiction Division: The Remains of the Day

>>>> Honorable Mention: Laurus

Balioc’s Choice Award, Nonfiction Division: Slouching Towards Utopia: An Economic History of the Twentieth Century

>>>> Honorable Mention: War and State Building in Medieval Japan

Series Award for: A Deeply Flawed Work of Luminescent Genius, No Really, This Thing is Artistically and Intellectually Important and Its Flaws Only Make It More So, Dear God What Were They Thinking Not Giving It the Hugo -- the Terra Ignora books, by Ada Palmer

Series Award for: I Cannot Begin to Articulate How Mad I Am That These Books of All Books Have Become Cultural Touchstones of My Local Social and Artistic Circle -- the Locked Tomb books, by Tamsyn Muir

Series Award for: I Must Give Credit to a Brave Author Who Makes Unexpected Moves and Tries New Things with Every Book, Even if Everything She Tries is Terrible -- the Locked Tomb books, by Tamsyn Muir

**********

Fiction-wise, this was actually a better year than you'd think from just eyeballing the list. The overall numbers are still below par, and there's too much shlocky formulaic mystery-series-type stuff; but there was a lot of real quality in there. I had real trouble deciding on my top two, and I ended up not giving either prize to a book by Jenna Moran writing at her normal level of quality, so that says something. There were a number of books that disappointed by not being amazing but that I'm still glad to have read (e.g. Summer in Orcus, The Hands of the Emperor). Even the shlocky formulaic stuff had more merit than you might expect, in many cases.

Serious contemplatively-emotional litfic is real good, at its best. Turns out.

Non-fiction-wise, this was a shitshow of unparalleled proportions. I read almost nothing, and what I read was uninspiring. (I started s number of things that I failed to finish, which didn't help.) I seriously considered making this a "no award" year. I am once again asking for your recommendations for really good, deeply-informative, blow-your-mind-open non-fiction.

#yearly reading list

[h0ney-pot]

plsss do share n your tbr as well!! thx x

Ahhhh you’re so sweet I’m so excited to talk about books it’s my passion rn!!!!!

I have a highlight on my IG if you wanna deep dive into the books I’ve been reading! it’s @c0nfess

Please check all the TW on any books before reading but esp for the ones I mention!

These are the books I’ve read so far this month!

And I have a never ending TBR list but currently in my kindle unlimited library I have:

I Like You Like That - Kayla Grosse

Don’t Be Scared - AJ Merlin

Collide - Bal Kahbra

The House Sitting Trap - Khloe Olivera

Hunting Adeline (pt. 2 of the cat & mouse duet) - H. D. Carlton (PLS CHECK TW!!!!!)

Mine - A. K. Rose (PLS CHECK TW!!)

The Contract - Cynthia Dane

Members Only - Lise Gold

The Ties That Bind Us - Eden Emory

Mercy - Sara Cate

Highest Bidder - Lauren Landish & Willow Winters

Devoted - Luna Mason (check TW!!)

Not Just Gal Pals - Elizabeth Luly

Desire or Defense - Leah Brunner

Twisted Loyalties - Cora Reilly

Den of Vipers - K. A. Knight (CHECK TW!!!)

Mindf*ck series - S. T. Abby (CHECK TW!!)

I also use the Libby app for audiobooks!

I’m currently listening to The American Roommate Experiment by Elena Armas

My FAVORITE book this month has been Camera Shy by Kay Cove. It was SO CUTE!!! Chubby girl rep, self esteem healing, lots of steamy sex. The FMC gets broken up with and ends up house sitting for one of her clients. She ends up meeting the neighbor and he is VERY hot. She offers to help him with his business strategies (he’s a photographer and does boudoir shoots!) and she wants him to teach her to be good at sex. ITS AMAZING!!!!

#kay answers #checkmateicouldnlose #also I love #your URL!!!! #thank you so much for this question I am so giddy rn

[breemationfun]

EVERY.."cartoon" show I've heard a bit about/watched

Pocoyo

Wow wow wubbzy

Thomas the train

Wonder pets

VeggieTales

Larry boy: the cartoon adventures

Veggie tales in the house

Veggie tales in the city

The veggie tales show

Spongebob square pants

The Patrick star show

Camp koral

Ren and stimpy

Ren and stimpy: adult party cartoon

Jimmy neutron

Planet sheen

Wonder over yonder

The mighty B

Catdog

Rocks modern life

Johnny bravo.

Powerpuff girls

Power puff girls z (anime)

Power puff girls 2016

Teen titans (og)

Teen titans go

Courage the cowardly dog show.

Ed Edd n Eddie

Sonic the hedgehog

The adventures of sonic the hedgehog

Sonic underground

Sonic boom

The cuphead show

Foster home for imaginary kids

Invader zim

Kid cosmic

Pig, goat banana cricket

Looney tunes

The looney tunes show

New looney tunes

Wabbit

Looney tunes: cartoons

Felix the cat

Legend of The 3 Caballeros

Duck tales (og)

Ducktales (reboot)

Mickey mouse shorts

Unikitty

Craig of the creek

Phillmore

Whats up with Andy?

Hey Arnold

Rugrats

Rugrats (adult one)

Rugrats (cgi reboot)

Big nate

South park

Gary and his demons

Cow and chicken

Back at the barnyard

Mighty mouse

Danger mouse

Sylvester and tweety mysteries

Scooby doo

What's new scooby doo?

Scooby doo guess who?

Be cool scooby doo (short lived revival)

Tom and jerry

Tom and jerry babies

Tom and jerry tales

The Tom and jerry show

The George liquor program

My little pony

Pac man (og)

Pacman and the ghost adventures (reboot)

Kappa Mikey

Wayside

Pepper ane

The proud family

The whacky world of tex avery

Chip and Dale: rescue rangers

Dragon ball

Dragon ball z

Dragon ball GT

Dragon ball z kai

Dragon ball super

Dragon ball super heroes

Pj mask

Bluey

Muppet babies

Sesame street

Fan boy and chum chum

Robot and monster

Breadwinners

Danny phantom

The fairly odd parents

The fairly odd parents: fairly odder

T.U.F.F puppy

Bunsen is a beast!

Mega man (og)

Mega man x (anime)

Mega man fully charged (short lived series on CN)

Naruto

One punch man

Barney

Shaun the sheep

It's teddy!

the cat in the hat

Equestria girls

Yin,yang Yo (wow wow wubbzy spin-off)

Spider man (og)

Ultimate Spider man .

The spectacular spider man

Guardians of the galaxy

Star wars rebels

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (og)

Teenage mutant ninja turtles (1st reboot)

Teenage mutant Ninja turtles (cgi reboot)

Tales: of the teenage mutant ninja turtles (side series to the cgi reboot)

Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles (current incarnation of them)

The middle most post

Bunnicula

Rabbids invasion. (Stand alone Rayman spinoff)

Rayman (only lasted 4 epsiodes in the 90's)

The twisted tales of felix the cat (reboot back in the day)

Wild thorn berries

The Jetsons

Yogi bear

The flintstones

Family guy

The Cleveland show

American dad

The epic tales of captain underpants

The epic tales of captain underpants in space!

The Mr Peabody and Sherman show

danger mouse (2016 reboot)

OK KO: let's be heroes

Clearance

Regular show

Adventure time

Avatar: the last Airbender

Legend of Korra

Digimon

Digimon fusion

Pokemon (og)

Pokemon indigo league

Pokemon xy

Pokemon xyz

Pokemon sun and moon

Pokemon sun and moon ultra adventures

Beyblade burst

Beyblade burst evolution

Beyblade burst rise

Dora the explorer

Blues clues (og

Blues clues (reboot)

Go diego go

Puppy dog pals

The scrappy and scooby show

scooby doo kids. (Forgot the name)

Rocket power

Strawberry shortcake

Kick buttowski: subbarn dare devil

milo Murphys law

Phineas and Ferb

Big city greens

Amphibia

The loud house

Code name kids next door

Samurai jack

I am weasel

Where's wally?

Wally kazaam!

Zack and quack

Miles from tomorrow Land

Batman

Batman beyond

The justice league

Young Justice

The ghost and Molly mcgee

Scardey squirrel

The day my bum went psycho

Pink panther (og)

Pink panther and pals (reboot)

Yokai watch

Kurokos basketball

Taiga

Don't toy with me miss nagatoro

Mad

Robot chicken

Rick and morty

Brickleberry

Paradise PD

Garfield and friends

The Garfield show (reboot)

Steven universe

Gravity falls

Star vs the forces of evil

Dick figures

Happy tree friends

Sonic mania adventures

The simpsons

Cocomelon

Ben 10 (og)

Ben 10 alien force

Ben 10 omiverse

Ben 10 (reboot)

Dexter's laboratory

Johnny test (og)

Johnny test (reboot)

Super robot monkey team hyper force go

Generator rex

Pucca

Pucca ( 3d reboot)

Angry birds camp (forgot name)

Angry birds toons.

Angry birds stories

Buzz lightyear: star command

Lilo and stitch the series.

Stitch! (Anime continuation)

Stitch and ai ( poorly received continuation of the previous 2)

The boondocks

The pj's (projects)

Pickle and peanut

The smurfs (og)

The smurfs (reboot)

Sanjay and Craig

Bob's burgers

Randy cunningham 9th grade ninja

Home: the series

Ozzy and the cockroaches.

The casagrandes

Victor and Valentino

Summer camp island

The amazing world of gumball

Handy Mandy

Bob the builder (OG)

Bob the builder (3d animated reboot)

total drama island

Total drama Rama

Chowder

The sonic OVA

*explanation:...this is technically a series..with 2 epsiodes...but it was later combined into a 1hr movie. So it counts In a way *

Green eggs and ham

Timone and pumba (lion kind spinoff series)

Ozzy and drix

Earth worm Jim.

The lion guard

Doc mcstuffins

Sofia the first.

Mickey mouse club house

Mickey mouse roadster racers

Minnie's bow boutique

scissor seven

Puss n boots tv series (forgot name)

the Beatles

Alvin and the chipmunks (og)

Alivin and the chipmunks (1st reboot)

ALLVINNNN!!! and the chipmunks( 2nd reboot)

Cannimals (show with animals that look like cans)

Larva

Larva Island.

101 Dalmatians (show)

101 dalmatian street

Kim possible

My life as a teenage robot

Robotboy

Kung fu panda legends of awesomeness

Little Einsteins

Thomas the train baby reboot (forgot the name)

Animaniacs (og)

Animaniacs (reboot)

Well. That's all. Qwq...ALL OF THESE where from the top of my head.

#cartoon #2d animation #3d animation #nickelodeon #cartoon network #disney