#let alone something that I have no background or investment in

[isfjmel-phleg]

I'm going to let people down. I'm quite possibly going to destroy this roundtable. I hate to do it. But I think I'm going to say no.

#random personal stuff #I am not the right person for this and should never have agreed to it #it's turned into a bigger and more stressful commitment than I expected #I can barely get my own projects done #let alone something that I have no background or investment in #Dr. B. keeps telling me things like #roundtables are relaxing! it will be fun! :) :) :) #and perhaps it is when it's something you know enough about to discuss with people #but I don't and I don't think I can become enough of an expert in a few months to pull it off #trying to read grammar pedagogy scholarship is proving more difficult than I thought #hard to concentrate impossible to understand #so I've made my mind up #let's see if I can stick to it and not cave #I appreciate the confidence in me #but my having presented a couple of literature papers in the past is not qualification to intelligently research and discuss this topic

[maccreadysbaby]

Tips for Writers who are Auditory Learners :)

Writing can often be boring or difficult for auditory learners like me. Sitting in silence to absorb and produce words is not the funnest or easiest thing ever. Here are a few things I do that might help!

Reading your work out loud. It can help you pinpoint things that don’t sound right without reading it inside your mushy brain for the 174th time. Also, I submit to you — reading in different accents. I (an American) read to myself with a British accent. It helps break the repetitiveness of how you’re used to reading it and will illuminate more issues, sort of like changing the font.

Have someone else read it out loud. This eliminates staring at the words for five hours and helps you hear it with someone else’s natural inflection and not the inflection you’ve been reading it in since it’s inception. You will definitely hear if something sounds stupid or not. If you can’t find a friend, you can find online resources that will read what you input, and they can also give you a laugh.

Talk through your characters conversations. Yes, their stutters, their attitude, their weird laugh, their accent — all of it! Embrace your inner actor. Assign yourself a part and have a friend do another! Or change back and forth between characters like one of those “baby it’s cold outside” tiktoks. Or do one character at a time alone in your room. It helps with giving your characters a natural way of speaking that’s human and not monotone, and it is a good way of finding things to input into the conversations that humans do naturally. Let yourself be the character, you’ll find yourself scoffing or chuckling or rolling you eyes and be like, hey, they should do that, too.

If there’s music in a scene, play it while you write that scene. Set the tone, baby. It’s the background music of your tv show, the music playing while your characters talk/dance/sing, and it really does help you feel ingrossed and invested.

If sentences feel weird or like they sound bad but you can’t figure out why, clap, tap, or speak the whole thing out in syllables. This can help you identify consecutive sentences with the same structure so you can make them less repetitive.

feel free to add more if you have any!!

#writing help #writing angst #original writing #creative writing #writers #writing #writerscommunity #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing tips

[queer-ragnelle]

Hi! I really want to read the vulgate cycle but I have a hard time staying focused when reading it. Are there any sections of the vulgate that are not as important to the understanding or able to skip? Thank you so much for making all these stories accessible and thanks for your reply :))

Hello my friend! This is a great question and one I get a lot. The Vulgate Cycle is long and daunting, but I can help you navigate it!

Firstly, here is the full Vulgate Cycle PDF collection for everyone to read. Secondly, I'll summarize what you can do, and elaborate below a cut.

TL;DR

If reading a PDF, use CTRL+F to find your favorite character's name/stories.

If reading a physical copy, utilize the index (located at the very end of the Post Vulgate) to find them.

Discover chapters of interest from the summary page (also located at the very end of the Post Vulgate).

Skip The History of the Holy Grail and begin with The Story of Merlin or Lancelot I.

Now, let's break down the ways you can navigate the Vulgate Cycle step by step.

CTRL+F

This option will certainly be less effective if your favorite character is a prominent one such as Lancelot or Gawain as they appear a million times. However, if you want to learn more about someone else, say, the Lady of the Lake, you can search her up and find every instance of her appearance. Like so.

Index

In the very back of the final book of the Post Vulgate, there's an Index listing every named character [Ex: Gawain], location [Ex: Orkney Isles], entity [Ex: Holy Spirit], animal [Ex: Gringalet the horse], and language [Ex: Hebrew] mentioned in the entirety of the Vulgate Cycle. There you'll find a list of which book/chapter/page they appear in. Here are all the mentions of Gawain's horse in The Book of Merlin.

Chapter Summaries

Each book of the Vulgate Cycle has a Table of Contents with the chapter numbers and long, descriptive titles. That alone may give you an indication of what you want to read. However, at the back of the Post Vulgate, right before the Index, there's a list of every chapter in the Vulgate Cycle with a summary of events. That will give you more detail and may help you decide if you want to read in full.

Skip

If it sucks, hit da bricks. The beauty of the Vulgate Cycle is that you don't need The History of the Grail or The Book of Merlin to understand what comes later. I enjoy them because History gives a ton of background to the religious themes the Grail Quest will eventually explore and sets up all the motifs way in advance and Merlin has the Orkney Bros as well as Yvain and Sagramore as kids which is fun. But the fact is you can begin with Lancelot I and you won't be lost. Lancelot I was written first, Merlin is a prequel, so it's optional, and the motifs of the Grail Quest are going to be heavy handed when you get there anyway without the added stuff from History. That's hundreds of pages you can skip if you want to! Norris J. Lacy, the head editor, and his translation team did a phenomenal job with footnotes throughout, so if a character off-handedly refers back to something, you can rely on them to leave a little note at the bottom for you to refresh your memory with. It'll even give you a chapter/page number if you want to refer back yourself. Here's a footnote referring to Agravaine's unnamed amie [his ladylove] who helped wing woman her sister to romance Gawain. That was 4 chapters prior to this moment.

So there are plenty of ways to navigate the Vulgate Cycle and make it more digestible. That being said, it's translated so beautifully by Lacy and his team, that it reads like a modern novel. I have no doubt that once you get started, you'll become invested, and find it much easier to work through than you first thought. It's long-winded and character dense but it's fun. I do hope you're able to read it and understand why I love it so much! Thanks for this ask and I hope this helps. Have a great day!

#arthurian legend #arthurian legends #arthuriana #arthurian mythology #arthurian literature #the vulgate cycle #the vulgate #vulgate #post vulgate #quotes #resource #reading recommendations #my post #ask

[idyllcy]

don't say yes, run away now

word count: 1.2k

summary: wedding crashing and eloping with your best friend. yep. sounds about right.

You don't know what you're doing here.

You sit in the front row of the wedding venue, speaking with the guests, head spinning and a little worried. You don't like what you were tasked with doing. Tim could have asked literally anyone else, but you suppose this is the universe's way to body slam you into unrequited love even harder than it had before. You spot a couple of his siblings and fiddle with your fingers as they wave at you. You don't know if they know that you're crashing their brother's wedding. God. Would you get called a homewrecker by the media? What a nightmare. You don't even want to think about it.

Maybe Tim would take care of it for you. You know. Like he used to.

The cryptic message relayed to you from Oracle was a little. What was it? Scary? You're a vigilante, not a wedding crasher or homewrecker. You wonder if you should make a big fuss about it. Well, Tim did say he would take care of whatever backlash you would get. Maybe you should get Jason to... he should play Speak Now. You think. You should at least have a little fun with crashing your best friend's wedding. Tim would be amused. You're sure his future in-laws would not.

"Jason," You pull on his sleeve, the man tilting his head at you. "Are you on piano?"

"Yeah."

"Can you play something for me when I stand up?"

"Stand... are you crashing the wedding?"

"Red Robin." You mumble. "Oracle. News. I don't know. I think Tim wants me to."

"Oh, then you'd be doing all of us a favor. Luther's a nightmare all of us have. His daughter would get mad, though."

"Yeah. I thought I'd crash the wedding as dramatically as possible." You mumble. "Vigilante outfit and everything."

"What."

"I'm crashing. My suit is under my clothes right now."

"Oh. I'm invested. What song, pray tell."

"The.. the Taylor Swift one."

"The chorus?"

"Yeah."

"I gotcha." He grins at you. "Tim will handle everything else. We promise."

"His publicist is going to kill me, though."

"I know." Jason lowers his voice. "You and me both."

You leave halfway through the walk-in, pressing your mask to your face and leaning on the doorframe once the bride and groom step onto the podium.

"Speak now or forever hold your peace." The priest calls.

You glance at Jason as he eases into the song almost too naturally, and you clear your throat, all eyes turning on you. You catch Tim's amused expression, and you hear Dick laugh in the front with the rest of the batboys, all while raising a brow at the bride in amusement. You didn't think it'd come to this, but you suppose it's your specialty.

"I am not the kind of friend, who should be rudely barging on a white veil occasion." You fight the laugh that's about to break into your voice as you continue. "But you, are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl."

Tim laughs at the podium, tugging his hands away from his fiancée as he tilts his head at you.

"So don't say yes, let's run away now!" The laugh breaks past your lips as Tim runs toward you, grabbing your wrist and making a run for it through the giant church doors. You hear his family cheer in the background as their voices fade, and Tim pulls the car keys from his suit pocket, pressing the gas as he leaves his bride alone in the hall. You laugh as you hold onto your seat.

"Thank you. That was very in character of you."

"You know," You pick the mask off your face, a grin on your face. "You owe me for this."

"And what might I owe you?"

"A favor, maybe." You shrug. "You have the clothes?"

"Backseat."

You peel the suit off, reaching for the hoodie as he continues on the road.

"Am I going to get in trouble with your publicist?"

"I'll deal with it." He hums. "Anything else you need me to do?"

"I don't know..." You shrug.

"You know, we should get married in a courtroom on the way."

"Oh my god, are we eloping?" You feign a gasp.

"Is that what you want this to be?"

"Only if you want it to be." You grin.

"Alright. Let's hit the courthouse."

You hold onto the handrest as he swerves, a couple of cars honking as he speeds again.

"I never thought Bruce Wayne's middle child, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, would elope, but here we are."

"Oracle's calling." He hums, pressing his earpiece. "Yeah?"

"Where are you two?"

"Eloping." Tim grins. "Is Bruce going insane?"

"He currently owes the boys a couple thousand dollars."

"They bet on this?!"

"Jason wins. He bet that you'd crash it with a Taylor Swift song."

You purse your lips in amusement.

"Well," Tim hums. "We're headed to the courthouse to elope right now."

"Alright. Be home for dinner."

"We're going on a road trip too!"

"For your honeymoon?"

"Sure." Tim pauses at the red light, handing you a marriage contract. "Fill that out while I drive."

"You have your passport?"

"I have my licenses. Do you have yours?"

"Yeah."

"There we go."

You scribble down the information for the two of you as he drives around Gotham, and you grumble as you finish at the courthouse.

"Done?"

"Scan it over."

You lead him into the courthouse, hoodie and shorts on, handing the paper and IDs to the worker.

"Eloping?"

"Yeah." Tim hums, fixing the cap on his head. "Make it quick."

"Not human trafficking, right?"

"Nope!" You grin. "Completely consensual."

The marriage is quick, the witnesses and court officiant signing the paper for the two of you, and Tim snaps a photo, sending it to the family chat as the two of you get back in the car.

"We look terrible." You laugh at the wedding photo. Tim's in a white suit, and you're in a hoodie and shorts.

"We can prepare an actual ceremony when we come back."

"Tim?"

"Hm?" He turns to look at you.

"Are you doing this because you want to avoid the marriage? Or are you doing this because you actually like me?" You pull on the strings of the hoodie.

"Both." He hums. "Why'd you think I told you to crash my wedding and not one of my brothers? I'm sure Damian would have been more than willing to ruin the marriage."

"I don't know," You shrug. "I figured you didn't ask them because it'd be suspicious for family to crash your wedding."

"I asked you because I planned for the two of us to elope. Your feelings are not slick."

"Yeah, I figured." You reach behind you for a can of cola. "Want one?"

"You're way too relaxed for someone who was panicking earlier."

"It's called speedrunning the five stages of grief. Do you want the cola or not?"

"Yes please."

"Do you want to stop anywhere before we hit the freeway?"

"Where's the first stop?"

"Two hundred miles."

"We can stop at a gas station along the way." You mumble. "Now drive, my newly wedded husband."

"Anything for you."

#tim drake x reader #red robin x reader #every time I post a tim fic on this website I lose a year of my lifespan why is it so scary to write for him #dc x reader #☾.fics

[unbidden-yidden]

Something I don't usually see talked about in political discourse around major societal problems is that you can have more than one position on a given topic because you think there's an ideal solution, a position that is morally the most correct, and a practical position based on the hard reality of the facts on the ground. In a perfect world, these positions would line up: the end-goal ideal would be accomplishable using the most morally correct methods. We don't live in that world, obviously.

A lot of this is the result of my legal background helping people navigate extremely non-optimal systems to get to a liveable solution. (Also probably being Jewish, let's be honest.)

Let's take a scaled-down example; a classic legal problem: Person A sells a house to Person B and pays off their mortgage. Person A then also sells the house to Person C as an investment property, pockets the profits, and disappears into that goodly night. Person B moves into the house unaware that Person C has a functionally equal claim to the property. Person C discovers this problem when they go to record the deed and sue Person B to clear the title.

Obviously Person A is the bad actor here, and if they can be caught, they will owe a house to one party and the value of the house to the other (which that person will have to extract from them slowly over time, because lbr, Person A already blew that cash and likely doesn't have an equal amount just lying around to give to that person.) At the end of the day, either Person B or Person C are going to get hosed for something that wasn't their fault.

Personally, my ideal solution is that actually private property as we currently understand it wouldn't exist, and we would all each have rights and responsibilities to the land and the environment that were proportional, in which case this scenario wouldn't have happened in the first place. My morally correct answer is that the state should have a fund for innocent third party buyers out of which Person C would get paid, and leave Person B alone with good title while the state goes after Person A. My practical answer is that Person B was the first purchaser who is actually living on the property and so their need is greater than Person C's need. That should give Person B the stronger claim to the actual property and give Person C (essentially) a property right in the lawsuit and potential recovery against Person A. That answer gets much more complicated and fact-specific if there are other factors in favor of Person C, such as they have lost their housing and will be homeless if they can't move into what was originally intended to be an investment property.

I think most people have this sort of variable response to large, complex societal issues, but our discourse on the subject suffers a lot when people refuse to acknowledge what sort of place they're speaking from or that different discussions have different purposes (thus requiring different answers.)

[kyyuri]

the sweet whisperings of you and i (plays like a broken record )

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ synopsis ; after spending many years longing for a friend group of her own, fate presents yn with a chance to make that long wait end, at the expense of her three year long relationship with nishimura riki - but was fate really that cruel ? or was there perhaps sabotage ?

pairing // non- idol ! riki x fem ! yn

genre // angst, a bit of fluff , lovers to ex to lovers

warnings // curse words, toxic friends

a/n ! SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPLOADING THIS 😭 would be going on a mini hiatus ( two weeks-ish ? ) as i have a lot of submission to do for school 🥲 encore ! would definitely be back soon ! don’t forget to support enhypen’s comeback ! the trailer was insane and im here for it ! PLEASE DONT FORGET TO LET ME KNOW HOW YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT THIS ONE SHOT !

wc; 11.6k (not proof read )

[main masterlist ]

i.

growing up with parents that were filthy rich yet never present in her life, yn was subjected to many struggles in life. it was only normal for her to wish for her parents’ presence during the hardest times — but yn’s wishes never came true and it never will. materialism isn’t something yn is unfamiliar with. her parents’ have long decided that love is anything money can buy and so, yn spent her entire life craving for something far beyond money.

after spending so much time alone, it wasn’t easy for yn to get used to an environment packed with human presence, high school. it didn’t take long for her to be outcasted either. despite her pretty looks, yn was never a fool when it came to people attempting to take advantage of her for monetary reasons. her constant rejections made many upset and so the rumours began spreading like wildfire and everyone ran with it. those were some painful days for yn. she would recall running into the arms of her driver for a warm hug whenever a new rumour appears out of nowhere. “ did i do something wrong ?” it was a question her driver often heard, “no darling, people are just harsh creatures who work hard to get what they want, even if their methods are unethical.”

there was only one thing ( or maybe two ) that yn looked forward to in her high school days. the time she invested in the photography club. since her parents couldn’t be there for her physically, she would spend hours living through pictures of others vicariously, making up fake scenarios of her with her parents. that led to her realising her never ending love for photography. although, the members there treated her poorly, she never once complained. it was also then, she met the one and only nishimura riki. up till now, yn still has no clue why riki approached her instead of shunning her like the rest. it was the start of a beautiful friendship which ultimately blossomed into something much more, to say the very least.

ii.

just like that, riki has been through thick and thin with yn, but this time as her boyfriend of three years. riki thinks she’s the most precious person in the entire world and yn think he is her entire world. the love they shared was believed to be eternal, considering how they were always stuck to the hips yet never once got bored of each other. yn’s insecurities ? riki knew them all by heart as well as how to counter them - how to make her feel loved. riki’s hobbies ? she have them all engraved onto the back of her head - always ready to learn more about them so riki would know how much she supported him and the things he take a liking for.

for three years, they were the perfect couple. for three years, nothing could come between them, not friends, not families and not even the worst arguments. riki knew of yn’s family background and so he made sure to never end the day with any of them upset with each other. it was one of the sweetest things he could do for his loved one.

just like any other normal night, riki laid in bed with his arms wrapped comfortably around yn. “i promise this is the last time i will bring this up, but are you sure you don’t want to meet my friends ? you guys might have a blast together !” he looked at her fondly, “it’s alright, ki. i want to be able to approach people on my own and be friends with them ! i haven’t had much opportunities in high school so i think i should step out of my comfort zone now that i’m going to university !” yn answered, snuggling closer to riki. “thank you for always keeping me in your thoughts.” riki laughed softly, “you practically live in my mind rent free. “

iii.

things were always easier with riki by her side. it was almost as if nishimura riki was her soulmate since the very start. she made up for his shortcomings and he made up for hers. they were always willing to accommodate to each other, never afraid to grow in each other’s presence. this was one of the things many people secretly admired about their relationship. it became crystal clear to yn that nishimura riki would inevitably be her first and last love because if she had a list of reasons why she loved him, it would never end. the moments they spent together were so well cherished, they often played inside her mind like a broken record - giving her ample amount of time to reminisce about those beautiful memories. to yn, nothing was worth trading the good memories riki created with her. to think riki could love her even at her worst was truly unbelievable ( at least to her).

when she first had her period while dating him and so unfortunately stained the pants she had worn that day, riki didnt make a big fuss about it at all. “ki, stop coming closer. please ?” “what’s wrong ?” she looked around flustered, unable to come up with an explanation that wouldn’t leave her feeling embarrassed or awkward. “did i do something wrong ? “ she shook her head, still pressing her lips together. “then… can you at least tell me why i can’t come closer ?” riki looked a bit upset at how adamant she was in making him stay away. yn pressed her back harder against the wall, hoping to at least slide past him and into the restroom. observing her body language, it finally hit him what had inevitably happened. “give me a minute. don’t go anywhere. i’ll be back really quickly. “ he most definitely stayed true to his words, in less than a minute, he came running back to her with the sweats he kept in his locker for dance practice. “here. you can change into these. when you’re done, wait here for me. i’ll go grab some painkillers and a bag for you to keep your clothes in.”

when yn first got a part time job so she could pay for riki’s birthday present, she had a hard time adjusting to the crazy schedule. thankfully for her, riki was always there to welcome her in a warm embrace when she returned home. “bad day ?” he pulled her towards the sofa he was seated on, “yeah. the manager keeps giving me backhanded compliments. i hate it there. and you should let me go now, i haven’t showered yet, i probably smell.” this only made riki tighten the hug even more. “ i haven’t seen you since school ended, im not letting you go that easily. you know, if you really have a hard time working there, you can always quit. whatever you need money for you can just tell me, i’ll go get a job instead and buy it for you.” such a sweet boy, always caring about how she feels and willing to sacrifice his time for her. “that won’t be necessary. i want to do this on my own. i won’t push myself to the limit, you know this ki. i’ll quit if it goes too far. thank you for thinking of me.” he hummed in reply. “well, i got something for you that might help take your mind of that witch ! its in the fridge right now, you can have it whenever you want. “ riki loosened his grip, resulting in the girl to run towards the kitchen instantly. “is that the strawberry cake from the newly opened store ? the one with a 3 hour long queue ?” she examined the cake slowly. “yeah ! i figured i might as well get it while waiting for you to end your shift. it was so annoying waiting under the sun but the smile on your face right now made it so worth it.” he gave her a cheeky smile.

when yn finally managed to get the gift she worked hard for, riki was there to celebrate it with her (even though it was quite literally meant for him). “ki ! remember how i said i wanted to get the thing i needed on my own ? well i did it ! i also resigned from that shitty place. “ “THAT’S GREAT ! c’mon ! let’s go out for dinner to celebrate ! my treat !” he spunned yn around from happiness. riki didn’t ask any questions, he was just glad that yn was free from the misery that came along with working in that store. he was also glad that he was now able to spend more time with her again. once yn’s feet touched the ground, she put her hand up, almost as if she was signalling him to stop. “why not you take a look at what i bought ! i can’t be excited about it alone.” taking the bag from her, riki took a peak. inside the bag, sat a beautiful wrapped nintendo switch with a console customised to suit riki’s aesthetics. “no way ! you got a switch ! i’ve always wanted one ! i’ll get one soon and then we can play together !” he reached his hand out to return the switch to her, “it’s for you, ki. it’s an early birthday present ! that’s why i was so persistent on working to get it for you. i wanted to use my own money to buy a gift for you. i thought it would be more meaningful than getting it using my parents’ money.” she could’ve sworn she saw riki tear up. “yn, have i ever told you how much i love you ?” he melted into her embrace, trying to stop himself from sniffling like a little child. “ everyday, nishimura. i’m well aware of it.”

iv.

the first day of university was the one of the days yn considered the hardest. orientation was the bane of her existence and yet she was powerless in this situation. it didn’t help at all knowing riki was placed in a completely different orientation group because of the degree he was pursuing in arts ( while yn chose one in fashion ) . sulking, she waved him a final goodbye before dragging her footwear with much exaggeration. he chuckled at his girlfriend’s cute antics before running up to give her one last hug, “love, you’re going to be fine. you’ll meet plenty of nice people there and your dorm mates as well ! i’ll text you whenever i can so give this group a chance ?” she nodded her head at riki’s words, still pouting.

life without riki was … boring. she didn’t need anyone else by her side, she just needs riki. her attempts at distracting herself by drawing circles on the ground with her fingers were working until two female pop up in front of her face. “you’re yn right ? im yuju. this is minhee. we are your dorm mates ! i hope we get along well !” the female reached her hands out. smiling, she took her hand gladly. this was yn giving the group a chance and knowing riki, he would be beaming with joy if he saw this scene with his own eyes.

this conversation led to many more exchanged within the trio. within the period of a short day, yn had learnt many things. two of which being that minhee and yuju had been best friends since elementary and that minhee had a boyfriend, jaehyeok in the same university as well. “i hope you understand if jaehyeok comes by the dorms often !” minhee exclaimed, directing her statement at yn. “that’s fine by me as long as my boyfriend gets to come by as well.” “you have a boyfriend ?” yuju shot her a look of disbelief. yn smiled back in response. “no way.. im the only one single here ?! what’s his name ?” “nishimura riki.” the look minhee and yuju exchanged was one that confuses her a lot but she doesn’t question it, not wanting to make them uncomfortable considering how they are one step away from forging a friendship. “interesting…” was all yuju could managed subsequently.

for the first time in awhile, yn felt like she was alive. it felt so good having friends of the same gender after being left alone for half of her life. it made her feel even better knowing that these girls were the ones that were going to be with her 24/7 thanks to their dormitory placement. “im so happy ! i’m literally floating right now. they were so nice and relatable ?! yuju was so supportive of me the whole time and minhee is so good at planning. she even got the whole layout of our dorm settled and suited for our needs. i fucking love them so much.” riki chuckled at her excitement, its been a while since he has seen her this happy. kissing her forehead, riki smiled, “it makes me happy seeing you this excited. i hope they continue to treat you well. let me know if you guys ever need help, okay ?”

“would you be able to help me move my stuff to the dorms today ? when you’re done moving yours of course.”

“im down to help at seven. you need anything else ?” yn shooked her head.

v.

seven came and rolled by real fast. the door bell rang and yuju shot up immediately, “i’ll get it.” no one thought much of it since minhee also made sure everyone knew that her boyfriend, junhyeon was dropping by to help out as well. “nishimura riki ?” yuju leaned against the door frame. “how do you know my name ?” his brows furrowed, “yn told me about you. i’ve heard plenty. im yuju.” she offered a hand to shake only for riki to decline it with a smile, “im here to help my girlfriend so can you let me in ? thanks.” biting her cheeks, she moved aside for him to enter. “ ki ! you’re here !” “hello love.” yn ran into his hands, allowing him to spin her around in a circle. “let’s get to unpacking hm ? the faster we do this, the more time we can spend watching slam dunk.” she nodded in excitement before dragging him towards her room.

“what do you think about him ?” yuju whispered to minhee. “who ?” “nishimura.” minhee shot her a look, “let’s not talk about it while he’s here, ju.”

being with riki always made everything feel more fun than it should be. unpacking ? that’s a competition waiting to be won right there. cleaning up ? first one to grab the best tool gets to use it to clean. life would rarely be boring and this was definitely one of the boring moments in life that riki made enjoyable for yn. “how am i supposed to clean the window with a broom ?” yn pouted, “hey. you grabbed it, not me.” riki laughed and as much as he was definitely following the rules, he would ALWAYS make sure to help yn - who always grabs the wrong tools out of frenzy - to clean up with her tool. she grabbed a broom to clean a window ? no worries, by the time riki is done, that broom would magically become a stick attached to a wet cloth.

“anddddddd we are done.” riki fell onto the bed from exhaustion. “ewwww ki, we are literally disgusting right now. let’s change out first, your hoodie and sweats are still in my closet.” and by the time the couple was done, they were snuggled closely with her laptop placed on the pillow with slam dunk playing. it didn’t take long for the couple to fall asleep with their hands wrapped around each other tightly.

vi.

when yn woke up to a missing riki and the delicious smell of pancakes floating in the air, she jumped out of bed and sprinted towards the dining area. “good morning yn.” yuju and minhee greeted as they sit across each other, indulging in a plate of riki’s self made breakfast. “good morning love. you can go get your teeth brushed first, i saved you a plate and i made bungeoppang and bought some banana milk too. come eat when you’re ready.” giving riki her signature cheeky smile, she dashed into the bathroom. “you know riki, you’re a really great boyfriend. yn is lucky to have you. thank you for the breakfast, it was really good. ”yuju smiled. he looked around the room awkwardly, “um, thanks ? honestly, im the one who is lucky. i can’t believe i even got yn to date me… im glad you enjoyed the meal though, it’s yn’s favourite.”

“ki ! ki ! the food critic is ready.” riki chuckled at his girlfriend’s antics, looking at her full of love despite her childish side showing. “eat well my little duckling.” riki thinks he could watch yn eat all day long and he would never once get sick of it. when he first found out that yn hasn’t had a home cooked meal in the longest time due to her parent’s lack of care, he took it upon himself to master the art of cooking just so she could taste the slightest feeling of homeliness. the first few times he tried to whip up a meal almost resulted in the fire department being called to make a trip to his area. the challenges he faced didn’t stop there. when he tried again the following week, using his sisters as his lab rats, the stiffened look on their face confirmed his failure. time and time again, he failed to make something that could be on par to that of a homely meal. he had to beg his grandmother to teach him her ways just so he could shower yn with the love that her inner child deserves. all the cooking lessons he got definitely did not go to waste, and with many burn scars and cuts on his hands, he proudly presented to her a lunchbox full of love.

“thank you for the meal ! i owe you one. you should probably get going though, class starts in an hour and if you stay any longer, i just might ditch to stare at your face.” she hugged him, “wouldn’t that be a win for me ?” he wiggled his eyebrows before the two exchanged sickeningly sweet “i love you”s and bid each other farewell.

“gosh, its like you guys are attached to the hip.” minhee giggled at the sight before her. “i guess i’ve grown to be a little reliant on him. “ a fond smile attach onto yn’s face.

vii.

having friends taking the same degree as her definitely made university more endurable. “what the flying fuck is wrong with the professor ? its only our first week and we suddenly have a solo project each ? he drops the most vague description of what we are supposed to do and calls it a day ?” minhee tugged at her hair in annoyance. “it looks like the other departments aren’t having it easy either, riki just texted saying that he has a full painted portrait assigned, due in a month.” yn sighed. “this isn’t the university life i had in mind. all i wanted to do was get a degree while partying and falling in love. let’s just mug tomorrow, i have no mood for this today. ” yuju stuffed a bunch of sketches down into her bag.

once the trio returned to the warmth of their dormitory, the collapsed to the ground immediately. “hey yn, is riki coming over again ?” yn hummed, agreeing to the statement. “i’ll go get changed first, help me let him in if he arrives earlier than expected.” upon receiving a thumbs up from minhee, the girl headed towards her room. “i have a crush on riki.” yuju whispered out of the blue. minhee sat up, eyes wide open in shock. “what ?! have you lost your mind ? he’s TAKEN. by YOUR roommate.” minhee whispered back. “it doesn’t matter. i think he’s attractive and he is my walking ideal type. i WANT him, and besides its not like i like yn a lot anyways. she’s so annoying, riki this riki that.” silence fell upon the two. “help me sabotage their relationship. please. you’re my bestfriend.” “okay.”

the sudden knock on the main door sent the two into a shock, considering how they were scheming for someone else’s downfall. “nishimura, you’re here. you can wait by the couch. yn is getting changed.” yuju batted her eyelashes. he doesn’t reply, just giving her a blank stare - one enough to make her a flustered mess. “riki ! you’re here !” “love ! come give me a cuddle !” he pushed past the girl standing by the door and jogged towards his girlfriend. their sweet moment didn’t last long. not with the other two around scheming. “yn, im so sorry ! could you do the chores now ? i have to run to the store and get ready dinner for jaehyeok just told me he had a bad day and the kitchen’s in a mess and i dont have enough time and please-“ minhee shot yn a desperate glance. “i’ll do it, go get the stuff you need. it’s really not a big deal.” “thank you, youre a life saver.”

riki thinks they aren’t genuine friends but the way your face lights up whenever you talk about them makes him wish he was wrong. “i’ll help you love, it would be faster that way. “ he tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear and the two got to cleaning. to think that she would waste such precious time with riki to clean up someone else’s mess. “i know you’re a little upset yn.” riki exclaimed, not looking up from the area he was trying to mop. “im sorry, i didn’t mean to spread the negative energy. i can’t help but feel upset. i wanted to spend time with you since we are going to be so busy starting from tomorrow.” riki chuckled at how adorable his girlfriend is. “yn, every moment i spend next to you will always be precious to me. it doesn’t matter if i’m cleaning the dumpster or watching movie with you. i love doing things with you because i love you, hmm ? no matter how busy i am, i’ll always find a way back to you.” while it pleased yn hearing that, it definitely angered another ( especially since their failed scheming only ended up bringing the couple closer )

viii.

with everyone’s submission date approaching at the speed of light, the small break time riki had were all invested in hanging out with yn. he was exhausted but he would never let her know that. seeing her face for even an hour would make everything worth it. he didn’t see anything wrong with spending time with his girlfriend until he accidentally overheard something he shouldn’t have. regrets started pouring in and he questioned how selfish he could be. “yn, im honestly sick of it. we may be your roommates but we are also your best friends. if you’re going to spend every waking hour with riki, do you really need us ? we are trying our hardest here to find a time where we can hang out with you but your entire personality is about riki ! riki this riki that. fuck yn, we get it. we seriously get it. but if you aren’t going to put any effort into our friendship, then i think its better we end it.” he heard yuju say, with hints of frustration buried in her voice. “i didn’t know you guys felt that way… i’ll accommodate. i promise ! please don’t ever say anything about ending our friendship… please…”

to say riki’s heart shattered at the sound of his girlfriend’s trembling voice is an understatement, because he was in absolute shambles. “fuck this is my fault…” he cursed under his breath, kicking the wall next to him. when the main door unlocked to reveal yn, he dropped any hint of sadness on his face in hopes that she wouldn’t find out about what he heard. “hey, ki ? do you think we could… meet lesser ? just for now at least…” it was such an absurd request. “okay, love. i’ll be waiting for you. let me know whenever you’re free, i’ll come running to you. when im not here, promise me you’ll take care of yourself okay ? no skipping meals, no pushing yourself to the limits. i love you. “ he gave her one last hug, one that wouldn’t be returned even after a week.

that week was horrible to both riki and yn. so much changed in so little time. for the first time in a while, yn felt lonely again. it feels just like the times her parents would leave her alone to go on business trips that would last for months. being together with yuju and minhee didn’t help the situation she was in a lot but it was still better than nothing. and with each passing day, riki gets more nervous. it wasn’t just the fact that he hasnt caught a glimpse of her face since the day he hugged her, but the fact that yn temporarily stopped replying to his messages. was there something wrong ? was she okay on her own ? he would never admit it but he was always as reliant on yn as she was on him and this time apart physically pained him. finally deciding it was too much for him to bear, he ran to her dorm, pounding on the door in hopes that she would be there. “nishimura ? why are you here ?” yuju questioned. “where’s my girlfriend ? is she okay ? she hasn’t been responding to my texts and i’m starting to get worried.” yuju laughed, puzzling the man. “she’s alright. her phone’s getting fixed. minhee accidentally spilled water on it a few days back. they are out getting groceries, i’m sure they’ll be back soon. would you like to come in and wait ?” he couldn’t figure out if this was some sort of trap but at the very moment, he decided that being able to see his girlfriend was the most important thing and with that, riki entered the dorm.

the room was dead silent. yuju couldn’t stand it, not one bit. “you know, nishimura. you really piqued my interest a lot. you seem to be willing to do anything for yn.” she started. “yeah ? maybe because i actually love her ?” yuju laughs again. “it must’ve drove you insane when yn’s phone broke. i wish i could see it with my two eyes… here. it’s my number. yn’s phone is getting sent back around… the end of this week ? you can contact me if you want to know how she’s doing.” her hands reach out, placing a piece of paper into the palms of riki’s hands. “it wouldn’t be wise to throw it away. after all, yn is staying with me.”

“ju ! we’re back ! where should i put the - ki ! you’re here !” dropping the groceries, she made a run towards him, jumping into his arms. “i miss you so much, you don’t even know.” he buried his head into the crook of her neck. “can we hang out, please ? i don’t want to leave just yet.” he mumbles. “hey, um min ? would you be able to handle the groceries alone ? i… wanna hang with my boyfriend.” giving yn a nod of assurance, the couple then headed towards yn’s room.

ix.

there was silence again, but this time a more comforting one. “i think this is the longest i’ve gone without interacting with you ever since we started dating.” riki combed through yn’s hair with his fingers as the two lie in bed. “i’m sorry, i should have told you earlier. our schedules clashed a lot recently especially since submission is round the corner. i thought about just getting another phone but yuju convinced me out of it.” he looked at his girlfriend with atmost adoration. “next time anything happens, just let me know… somehow. mail me a letter if you have to, okay ? here, you can use my phone first. yuju said it won’t be repaired completely till the end of this week. i have a spare phone so i’ll contact you through that.” although the two haven’t seen each other in days, it’s the smallest things that reassure yn that their relationship would be nothing but good. “i love you, riki.” she whispers. “and i love you too, yn.”

“fuck, its clearly not working. riki is too much of a green flag for him to fuck up a three, almost four year relationship with that bitch.” yuju punched at the kitchen countertop. “okay, then sabotaged their relationship through yn. there’s something odd about her. if you find the insecurity, you basically have the upper hand right ?” minhee shrugged, placing another packet of biscuits onto the upper shelf. yuju smirked, “i guess this calls for a girls’ night.”

with that, the trio sat in yuju’s room later on in the night. “i never had a girl’s night before… what do you usually do ?” yn innocently asked the two. “we spill all our secrets and have fun. we drink until the sun’s up and sleep in the same room together.” minhee answered, pouring the three of them a shot of soju. “since me and min already know each other for many years, we’ll mainly ask you the questions and you can ask any one of us !” yn nodded, “can i start ?” as usual, the two girls nodded. “min, how did you and jaehyeok meet ?” minhee downed the shot, “when the next door neighbour is hot and summer fling material, things were bound to happen. he asked me out around the time summer ended i think about five years ago ?” yn’s chest felt warm, is this what it feels like to have friends ? friends that were willing to share secrets like its their prized possession ? “what about you, yn ? did something happen in the past ? i’m sorry if its a sensitive topic but you seem very attached to riki and very new to all these friend stuff…” yuju stared at the ground after managing to get the question she longed to get answers for out of her mouth.

there it was. a pang to her heart. it feels almost uncomfortable, but that’s the type of things friends would ask right ? because they cared. “ah… well, i never had any friends before riki came into my life. most of the people i went to school with tried to take advantage of my parents’ wealth through me so i never had a chance to make a genuine friend with the exception of riki. my parents… they aren’t very… physically or emotionally involved in my life… they send me presents every now and then but were never there when i needed them or when i just accomplished a milestone. oddly, i don’t resent them.” it felt like the weight has been lifted off her shoulders when she said that out loud. “that’s because you know they love you. love is everything money can buy and based on what you said, it looks like they bought you everything.” yuju said, giving yn a pat on the back to show her support. “what about your boyfriend though ? does he buy you expensive stuff ?” minhee inquires. “i prefer spending time with him over getting gifts from him, so i don’t really mind not getting a lot. he also says he is saving up for something. he has been saving ever since we started dating. i thought it was for a car but he has one already and is still saving. i never asked about it since he didn’t tell me why the first time i asked.” yn took a shot. “ has it ever occurred to you that maybe just maybe… he doesn’t love you as much as he makes it seem ? i mean we already established that love is anything money can buy but he barely even get you anything. your phone broke and the best he did was give you his used one ? it’s not even brand new. your parents love each other, right ? they give each other expensive things. your parents love you, they give you expensive things. jaehyeok loves min, he gives her expensive handbags. even when people get married, they propose with expensive rings yn, not with spending time.” she took another shot. did riki really love her ? “look, you’re one of us now. we are just looking out for you… why not you test him ? tell him you broke your airpods and see how he react. if he loves you, he would drop everything and get you a new one - even if it means touching the savings he have.” minhee gave yn a pat on the back. it was all going according to plan.

x.

the next time riki saw yn, there was this pressing feeling that something bad was about to happen - a feeling that he never felt before around her. “a penny for your thought, love ?” riki caressed her cheeks as the two laid on the sofa in his dorm. “it’s really nothing of concern, ki. thanks for asking. oh, i got my phone back so you can have yours back.” she passed him the item, not sparing him a glance. riki was never dense, he could tell yn was planning something. something that might not lead to the best outcome. “okay, if you need anything else let me know alright. i’ll try my best to help you out.” the sweet boy offered. “i broke my airpods… i tried asking my parents for new ones but they aren’t reachable at the moment…”

“do you wanna use my headphones instead then ? until you can get a replacement. ” and that’s when it all happened.

“fuck this… why do you always offer me your used stuff when shits happen to mine ? why can’t you buy me new ones…” she stared at the ground stubbornly. “i… i didn’t know you would want me to get them for you… you always told me to not spend on you excessively , but if you really want me to get you them , i can… give me a week …? i should be able to get a job by then…” the boy was confused, is this really what she wanted from him all along ? for him to shower her with love by buying her luxury items ? he must’ve been a bad boyfriend for not noticing it especially after years of dating. “work ..? you have a whole bank account filled with money… and you wouldn’t even touch it for me ? what’s so important about the thing you’re saving up for… what makes it more important than me ? even minhee’s boyfriend spends money on her ! she gets a new luxury bag almost every month…” tears were rolling down yn’s face by then. riki hugged her tightly, giving her soft pats on the back, “i can’t tell you just yet but please trust me, love. i’ll get you new airpods by the end of the week, okay ? please don’t be upset. i’m really sorry for not realising earlier that i should’ve showered you with things you like. i’ll buy luxury bags for you too… please don’t cry anymore…”

he hated everything he has done to make her this upset, but most of all, he hated himself.

xi.

reaching out to heeseung, the boy agreed to help be a photographer for his project - earning him a total of three hundred and fifty dollars per shoot. it wasn’t enough so he agreed to model for jay’s fashion line as well - allowing him to invest hundred dollars more into your gift for every hour he worked. riki was hellbent on getting you more than just that airpods you cried over. he was going to get you everything you ever wanted. “dad ? can i choreograph for a class ? i kinda need a bit of money now… two days would be enough… that should earn me about six hundred dollars…”

“i think i was too harsh. i should apologise to him.” yn said, sipping on her drink sadly. she felt guilty. riki was willing to do everything for her and all she did was whine and complain about the amount of effort he put in. “no ! don’t do that ! if you say sorry, he would never take your requests seriously ever again. he might even love you lesser since you’re so easy to guilt trip. if he loves you, he would work for it and hang out with you during the duration of him buying you those items.” yuju affirmed the girl.

with the amount of jobs riki took, it was hard for him to make time for his girlfriend. he would spend eight hours of his day in school, painting, drawing, sculpting. then, spend another three hours taking pictures of the models heeseung hired. it was then another four hours modelling for jay, leaving him with only nine hours left to fulfil one’s basic needs as well as make time for yn and homework. on the days where he has dance classes to teach, he wouldn’t even be able to catch a glimpse of yn considering how he was running all over the place. the texts exchanged gradually became lesser as exhaustion took a toll on riki both mentally and physically. but he was okay with it, because the outcome would eventually bring a smile back on his girlfriend’s face.

riki doesn’t realise he had fallen asleep… in the middle of his home date with yn. she watched the boy rest in the most uncomfortable position, wondering how he even managed to sleep through that. wondering how he could even sleep during the few hours he barely made to spend with her after almost ghosting her for the entire week. picking up riki’s camera, she pressed on the gallery button and instantly wished she didn’t. inside the file were many photos of beautiful girls dressed in the prettiest clothings, if not, beautiful girls wrapping their hands around riki as the two smile for the camera, wearing matching outfits. the camera that was once filled with many photos of her was now replaced with many photos of other girls.

yn covered her mouth to muffle the sobs. how could he so selfishly throw away a relationship they invested so much time in ? riki groaned as he got up, rubbing his eyes to clear his vision, he had heard her crying in his sleep and felt the absolute need to check up on her. “love…? are you crying ?why are you crying ? do you want to talk about it ? i … still have some time to spare.” she pushed the camera towards him. “fuck you, riki. why did you do this to me ? no… how could you do this to me… “ love, what are you talking about ? did i hit you by accident when i was asleep ?” the tears continue to pour from her eyes. “let’s break up. i-i saw the photos with the girls… my decision.. it’s final.” it was now riki’s turn to cry. he felt his vision blur. “so that’s it …? i don’t get a say in it too ? i don’t get to explain ? please… please reconsider… i want to spend my whole life with you… i want you to be my very first and last love… yn, please…” he knelt before her, sobbing. “no, riki. my friends… they were right all along. they said you didn’t love me since the start. work ? that was just an excuse to cheat wasn’t it ?you had money saved up… so you used that as an excuse to meet other girls… everything minhee’s boyfriend did for her… you never did for me. you’re so busy these days you don’t even bother replying to my messages only for me to find out that you’re with other girls. when we do hang out, it always end with you falling asleep halfway or you being distracted and i’m tired of it… this is the end.” “yn love, i didn’t cheat, i swear ! i really was working…” “quit lying.” she stood up, ready to leave his dorm. he quickly wiped his tears upon realising that yn was leaving. “w-wait. take this. it was meant for you anyways. open it when you arrive safely at your dorm.” he handed a big shopping bag to her before hugging her one last time. “i love you.” riki whispers, “i’ll always love you, yn. take care my love.”

xii.

riki was upset. he had every right to be. he had worked so hard for so many years in hopes of filling in the void yn’s parents never did, but yet he failed. he had taken a week off school, reassuring the lecturers that it was due to an emergency when it was really just an excuse for him to cry all week. he stared at the many portraits he had drawn of yn over the years as well as the many photographs he hung of the couple together in his dorms. everything reminded him of her and it hurts him more than he thinks it should. “riki ? thank god you answered. i’m really sorry she saw those photos… i was a fool for not getting a camera myself for the photoshoot. i’ll explain it to yn, i promise. i can’t sit around and do nothing knowing how much damage i caused.” “heeseung. it’s fine. really. it’s not your fault. i was a bad boyfriend to yn. that’s why she broke up with me. i’m sorry i can’t help any of you out with your latest project. i need some time alone.” his voice was scratchy and hoarse from all crying. “that should be the least of your worries right now. have a good break, don’t do anything foolish , okay ?… i’ll let jay know as well.” “thanks.” throwing his phone across the room, he took his keys and headed straight out of the dorm.

riki walked and walked and walked. he walked in the dark night, walked past hundreds of strangers and kept walking until he reached his destination. unlocking the door, he collapsed onto his knees. he was finally at the place he spent three years (almost four) working on, his very own apartment that was meant to be shared with his now ex girlfriend. ever since he met yn, he knew that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and so he decided that on their fifth anniversary, he would surprise her with their very own apartment and so he started working throughout his highschool days all while keeping it a secret. he would help choreograph some dances on saturday mornings for money, telling yn that he was busy with physical training for his extra curriculums. on mondays, he would lie about having make up football practice when he was really modelling. riki would even skip some meals to save as much as he can for the apartment, only willingly spending money when it comes to yn herself. it took riki two years and a half to be able to buy a nice cosy little apartment (with the help of his parents of course) and he has been decorating it in secret as much as he can with his spare change. riki walked around the apartment, slowly feeling his tears welling up again. he had decorated it exactly how she would describe her future house to be. a soft, fluffy white rug sitting below the sleek khaki couch and a marble table. a walk in closet with a large vanity table and a white center table for accessories display. a master bedroom with a king sized bed, a bed side table and the lamp from ikea that yn couldn’t stop raving about. the extra bedroom that was turned into a studio for the both of them. the storage room he filled with shelves to give her space to store the cloths she needs for her designs. the half decorated balcony. riki did everything he could for her and it wasn’t enough for her to feel loved. he sprawled all over the floor, making no plans to get up from the position he was now in as tears flowed down once again.

as she left riki’s dorm, yn mentally cursed herself for letting the one last thing that was good in her life go. she was now back to square one where it was just her against the cruel world. she had been dying to open the shopping bag riki gave but decided against looking into it until she had reached her room. yn thinks she had cried enough that day. she thinks she cried so much there weren’t possibly any tears left. oh how wrong she was. once yn was back in the comforts of her bed, she took a deep breath in and opened the bag. inside sat the airpods headphones she had asked from him the other day, a prada handbag, a bouquet of flowers as well as two tickets to the museum showcasing the works of her favourite artist of all time. the tears flowed endlessly. riki had given everything yn asked for in the promised amount of time. “yn, are you okay ? i heard you sobbing.” minhee said from outside the door. “min… i think i fucked up…”she wailed even harder. “shit. stay there, i’ll call ju over and get you some ice cream.”

and so, another impromptu girls’ night occurred. “i shouldn’t have broken up with riki… he did everything i told him to do… what if those pictures were a misunderstanding ? he never lied to me before….” yuju sighed, “yn, there’s always a first time to everything. you saw it with your own eyes, the way he was interacting with the girls in the pictures intimately. the buying of luxury items were probably all a facade to keep you around. don’t cave so quickly. you should block him.” she snatched yn’s phone from her hand, pressing into riki’s contact and blocking him everywhere.

xiii.

a week apart turned into a month. riki’s current mental state did not make any progress ever since he let go of the love of his life. the sweet whisperings of “i love you” played in his mind like a broken record. although he most definitely wasn’t in his best condition, he’d rather spend his waking hours worrying about yn. did she eat well ? was she able to have a home cooked meal within the month ? was her classes too hard on her ? did she go to the museum with the tickets ? he had hoped she did, he wouldn’t wish for her to miss out on that rare opportunity that barely even came by. he camped at the ticketing website till dawn for a chance to get the tickets which quickly sold out subsequently. riki would be lying if he said he never tried to reach out to yn, but his efforts all lead to fruitless outcomes. it didn’t take long for him to realise he was blocked on all socials. that’s when he remembered, yuju had given him a way of contact. “hey, um this is riki. i was just calling because i was worried about yn… how is she ? is she doing okay ? i haven’t been able to reach her. please cook her some homemade dishes once in a while, i think she would love that. please let her know that im waiting for her as well…” “nishimura, yn is doing just fine. she isn’t at the dorm right now because she’s out on a group date… minhee tried to get her to meet new people so she would feel slightly better. i think she blocked you, so it might be a little hard to contact her. if you’d like, you can come over now and talk to her once she returns ?”

at that very moment, it felt like yuju was his knight in shinning armour, “yeah. that’ll be great. i’ll be there in ten. ”

taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door to the girls’ dorm. “it’s open !” yuju shouted, prompting for him to enter on his own. riki sat awkwardly on the sofa, waiting for yn’s return. “don’t be so awkward. i know you haven’t been here in awhile but a lot of things haven’t changed you know.” yuju placed a glass of water in front of the boy. “yn… you mentioned she is meeting others now… romantically ?” the girl nodded in response. “i see… i hope the guy is able to treat her better than i can…” he sighed. it’s been a month but the wound was still fresh. “don’t be like that, riki. you were a great boyfriend to her. i’m not sure what exactly changed her mind that much but you’re the most ideal boyfriend i’ve ever seen. don’t doubt you capability to love. “ she placed her hand over his. riki would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken aback. first, his girlfriend of many years broke up with him, then he contacted his ex’s friend like it was nothing and now her hands are on his as if it was only natural that happened. “fuck it, yuju. you don’t understand how much i loved her. how much i still love her. i’ll keep changing and working on myself if i have too, i just want her back. i’ll buy her the whole world even if it means i have to sacrifice myself. she’s my lifeline.” he threw his head back in frustration. “riki, you’re too nice. she doesn’t deserve you or the effort you put in for her. for your sake, please. move on. you can get any girl you want on this planet so don’t dwell on her. there’s so many single people on this earth like me. yn isn’t special.” riki scoffed, “she isn’t special to you but she is to me. and for the record, i’m not looking for anyone else, i’m only looking to win yn back. “

the door unlocked to a figure of yn standing there dressed in something considered pretty. “w-why are you here ?” yn stuttered. “yn, love please hear me out. please. just once. “ riki’s eyes teared up at the sight of his previous lover. “riki, i’m not your love anymore. please leave… i’m not ready to deal with any of this yet. ju, please walk him out…” yuju nodded, grabbing ahold of his hand and walking him towards the door. upon closing the door behind them, riki fell to the ground - huddling his knees as his sob the pain away. “i-i fucked up real bad this time… didn’t i ?” “no riki, she’s just being selfish. i’ll try to talk to her about this. i honestly still have no idea how or why you guys broke up but if you could give me a clearer picture that would aid me a lot.” she patted his head softly. “i… don’t want to talk about it in public.” riki sighs, “what if we talk about it at your dorm ? would you be alright with that ?” yuju suggested. “it doesn’t really matter to me.”

xiv.

the talk lasted way longer than riki would’ve expected. by the time he was back from the washroom, yuju had already fallen asleep on his couch. he stared at her face for a few moments before leaving the room, only to return with a blanket - placing it over her body. a smile spread across her face without him knowing.

time flies when you’re having fun - so the night went by really quickly as yuju replayed the scene of riki placing the blanket on her non stop. she made a note to wake up early and prepare breakfast for the other to show her worth. “morning riki. have some breakfast before i leave. i remember hearing that you like having cereal and milk for breakfast. i got them all ready.” he muttered a quick thanks in reply before sitting down quietly across her - clearly with no intentions of talking about what had happened last night.

and these moments soon grew to happen from once a week to almost every 2 working days, where riki would randomly walk into his dorm to see a drunk yuju crying about wanting some boy that didn’t seem the least bit interested in her. he had grown accustomed to her but still occasionally wishes for yn to be back in his warmth. how he wished he could ask her what to do. when yuju woke up the next morning, it was almost as if she had never crashed at his place at all, she looked prim and proper. “hey rik, i’ve been dying to know what’s in that brown box. it’s been sitting there for ages, it’s collecting dust at this point. can i open it ?” before riki could even stop her, her hands reached for the lid and her eyes widened as she took in everything. countless of pictures of yn and riki were scattered across the insides of the box as well as every single thing yn gave that could possibly fit in that box. “what the actual fuck. you aren’t even together with her anymore, move on ! you need to get rid of this. “ she snatched a polaroid of the couple and scoffed. “look yuju, in the nicest way possible, fuck off. how long i take to move on isn’t something you can control. hell, i still have feelings for yn, okay ? i would run to her the moment she calls. i’m not throwing ANY of this away.” “are you fucking insane ? i worked so hard to get you to leave and you’re still so stubborn. you’re a fool, riki. i fucking love you and you won’t even see it. how selfish. “

confusion was plastered all across riki’s face, then anger. “what the fuck do you mean when you said you worked hard to get ME to leave.” the silence thickened. “you fucking bitch, you sabotaged my relationship, didn’t you ? oh my god you’re a horrible friend. get out. NOW !” he grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the door and pushing yuju out the door. riki fell to the ground in horror. everything made sense now. the sudden change in yn’s behaviour. the sudden requests that never seemed as important previously. the breakup. because of yuju, he lost the love of his life. because of yuju, the couple had to suffer. because of yuju, he could only play the “i love you”s from yn in his head like a broken record and no longer hear it in person.

riki could sit here and pray for yuju’s downfall, but he wasn’t going to do that. riki was hellbent on winning yn back, and this time no amount of sabotage could stop him.

xv.

maybe some things are easier said than done. winning yn back was definitely one of the case for riki. she was avoiding him like the plague, leaving him defeated on a daily basis. “i’ll try again tomorrow.” and yet tomorrow came and went by with another failed attempt. feeling defeated, riki went to the cafe he once spent 3 hours queueing for to get a breath of fresh air. poking at the cake he remembered buying for yn, he sighed. “can i get an americano a-and a slice of that famous strawberry cake.” riki’s head instantly turned towards the direction of the voice, only to find the familiar face of the owner with tear stains on her cheeks. “yn…” he waited for her to grab her items before making his way towards her. “yn. please. i need to talk to you.” tears rolled down her face once again.

“fuck off, riki. why can’t you leave me alone ? or anyone acquainted to me alone ? you’re even going for yuju now ? are you kidding me ?” “im not going after yuju. i have no interest in her.” “that does not explain why she has the polaroid you took of us. why are you even lying ? what’s the point ?” riki was shocked at how much the love of his life has changed. the girl that was once a sweet angel seemed to be lost somewhere. “yn, she stole that from me the moment i found out she sabotaged our relationship.” “now you’re accusing my friend of things she didn’t do ?” “if i play an audio recording for you, would you believe me then ? i have no reason to lie to you, yn. i have no interest in any other girls either. i made a promise to the gods that you would be my first and only love and im not breaking that. “ pressing the play button on his phone, riki handed it to yn as the audio sounded.

“o-oh my god… this can’t be real.” “it is. i didn’t think they were very good friends in the first place but what yuju did really crossed the line.” “riki… what do i do ? i literally live with them.” she placed her head in her palms, sobbing. “i have an apartment.” “what ?” “i bought that apartment for us a few years back. it was supposed to be a gift for our fifth anniversary… you can stay there, at least until we figure out what to do with yuju and minhee. i don’t think you should be around them for a while. just pack your stuff and i’ll… text you the address… if you could just unblock me somewhere…”

xvi.

as promised, riki gave her the address and helped her move in. “i told them my parents wanted me to move back into their homes and they looked… happy.” riki reached his hands out, ready to give her a hug only to stop midway, remembering the status of their relationship. “i think you’d want to be alone for a while, to think through everything. i won’t be staying here, so you don’t have to worry. you can sleep in the master bedroom, the studio would be on your right and the toilet is down the hallway. the walk in closet is next to the master bedroom. you can keep your cloths for your projects in the storage room on the left of the studio. i’ll drop by once in a while to give you microwaveable food in case i can’t cook for you that day. you don’t have to worry about the groceries or bills. i got them covered. just rest well.” “riki. thank you. let’s talk at the end of the week.” he nodded in response.

a week went by just like that. riki would be lying if he said he wasnt anxious about what was to come next. ever since their break up, it was almost as if he had lost his sense of direction. he had to start all over again and with yuju’s constant intervention, it wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do. this week was no different, yuju constantly trying to apologise to him for her outburst - blaming it on yn. “rik. yn is out of the picture now ! she doesn’t even stay at our dorm anymore. we can be together.” pure disgust plastered all across riki’s face. “you’re seriously deluded. get help.” and with that, he walked away.

the sun had already set by the time riki had reached the apartment yn currently resided in. knocking on the door as a heads up, he entered to find yn preparing some wine for the both of them. “let’s chat in the bedroom.” riki sat on the bed awkwardly across his ex. “what… do you want to know ?” “truthfully… everything. i want to know how you got the money to buy this place… why there were girls in your camera… why yuju would do such a thing…why you’re still helping me… i want to know it all.” riki took a sip of the wine. “well for starters… i have been working since high school. i worked as a choreographer at my parents’ studio and did modelling as well. like i said, this was supposed to be a five year anniversary gift to you… so i spent the past few years decorating it secretly. that’s what the secret bank account was for and why i refused to touch it… as for the camera… when you said you wanted all those gifts, i started working as a photographer for heeseung and choreographer at the studio again. additionally, jay offered for me to model for his gender neutral fashion line, hence there were girls in the photos with me. they paid me enough to get everything you wanted as well as get some more stuff to decorate this place…yuju… she’s fucked up. apparently she liked me and i only found out when she admitted that she sabotaged our relationship to get together with me. she’s been preying on your insecurities and i’m so sorry i couldn’t stop her in time… i’m helping you because of my promise. my promise that you’ll be my only love in this life. you can break me a hundred times and i’ll still go back to you. i’ll wait for you until you become mine again and even if you don’t, i’ll still wait for you.” yn was crying again. “oh my god i was such an asshole to you…” riki chuckled softly, wiping the tears away from her face. “yeah… but still, i prefer hearing your voice in person than to only be able to hear your voice play in my head like a broken record.” “what do i do now… i’m still going to run into them in class. i can’t avoid then forever and they’re literally the only friends i have. yuju is going to be pissed if she finds out i’m staying in this apartment that YOU bought.” “you can’t avoid them in class but you can make new friends. i know its a little hard for you but i recently found out that sunoo’s girlfriend is in the same class as you. i can get her to help you out. i know you want to make friends on your own so just take this as you meeting her on your own through mutuals ! don’t discredit yourself. if they do anything to you, gather enough evidence and we can submit it to the school committee. the committee might reassign you to a new dorm but if you want to continue staying here, feel free to.” “okay. i want to meet sunoo’s girlfriend. i’m free the day after.”

xvii.

“hi yn ! i’m ryeji, sunoo’s girlfriend and your classmate ! riki told me about what happened. so i’m more than willing to lend you a hand !” seeing her bubbly personality definitely eased yn’s nerves. “riki really does have a pretty girlfriend…” the girl whispered under her breath. “o-oh i’m not his girlfriend… anymore.” “ah ! then you must be the girl riki swore to only love !”

“how was the meeting with ryeji ?” riki asked. “she’s a lot nicer than my previous friends. she said she’ll help me out if they ever approach me.” “that’s great. i’m glad things worked out with her. here. it’s a new bag.” he pushed a chanel gift bag towards her. “riki… about what i said last time… i didn’t really mean it. it’s just that… yuju convinced me that you didn’t love me because you didn’t do what my parents did… i’m really sorry i accused you of such things.” riki gave her a tiny smile before pulling her into a hug. “i know. i’m not mad at you for saying such things. i guess i should pamper you occasionally as well. i don’t think any amount of handbags could be worth as much as my love for you back then and now. don’t be sorry about the past, be happy you were able to realise what you truly want. it’s perfect alright if i’m not what you want. i’ll be happy as long as you’re happy.” he rubs yn’s back slowly. “well, i want you back. i’ll court you this time ! you did everything for me back then and now it’s my turn to return the favour. i want to be the best girlfriend ever ! “

xviii.

riki woke up to his doorbell ringing, his disheveled hair and confused face clearly showing the state the boy was in. swinging open the door, he was met with a smiley yn with two bottles of banana milk in her hands, “morning ! it’s my first day of courting you so i wanted to walk with you to school ! you always walk me to school so i thought we could change it a little.” pulling her in before closing the door behind her, he led her to the couch - head on her thighs, eyes on her face. “hehe, good morning yn. now that you’re here, i don’t want to go to school anymore.” she dragged him by the arm towards the bathroom, “go get ready for school. we can always hang out after ! my submissions are finally over.”

the two walked to school, just like they used to - but this time earning more stares and whispers due to their previous breakup. “this is my lecture hall. i’ll see you after my class ends ! i’ll think of you !” yn gives riki a cheeky smile before sliding a chocolate bar into his arms. his favourite. “yn, you’re here !” ryeji called out to the girl, signalling for her to leave riki’s side. “have a nice time in class, call me if anything happens !” riki shouted after the girl.

“i see you’re back with riki ?” ryeji wiggled her eyebrows, “not exactly yet. im courting him this time. it’s my way of saying sorry for everything i guess.” the other girl cooed at her response. “my favourite love birds.” “love birds ?” yuju slammed her hand onto the table. “you bitch ! he was courting me and you stole him away like that ? just as easily as you threw him away ? who was there for you when you were crying your eyes out ? me ! and who was there for riki when you dumped him over YOUR insecurities ? me ! stop being a pick me bitch yn. quit being so selfish.” ryeji threw her pencil case at yuju’s face. “shut it, you witch.” “OH. and it seems like you got a new friend too. let’s see what happens when she finds out your secrets. how everyone’s view of you would change.” lifting her feet to place them on the table, above yuju’s hands, yn laughed. “tell them. or should i tell them myself ? riki told me everything you did to sabotage our relationship. and i believe you have a polaroid that belongs to US.” snatching her wallet, yn reached for the polaroid. “oh and you can stop chasing riki now. he is everything but impressed by your shenanigans. in fact, he had enough evidence to file a case against you to the school committee so i highly suggest you STOP messing with people around me. or i’ll mess with you.” the room went pin drop silent. yuju kicked the table in defeat before walking out of the door, too embarrassed to sit through class. yn heaved a sigh of relief, “you did great, yn.” ryeji assured.

xix.

sitting across riki in the restaurant was yn in a beautiful dress. “i don’t think yuju or minhee would be bothering us any time in the future.” “that’s great. i’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. “ riki’s hands reach for yn’s cheeks, caressing them slowly. “i also got something for you !” pushing a bag towards him, she flashed him her signature smile. “it’s something i made during class ! one of the professors said that i should start a clothing line and my connections would be able to boost it. so i decided you should get my very first piece. you can even model for the line if you like and i would love for you to design the logo !” opening the bag, riki found the most beautiful piece of clothing he has ever since, tailored to make his body features stand out even more than they already did. “you don’t understand how much i love this. thank you so much, yn. i appreciate it. truly. i can’t ever thank you enough.” “well, you can thank me by being mine again. what do you say, love ?” “of course ! it would be an honor to be yours again.” the two reconciled in a hug, “ i love you.” riki whispers.

—

taglist ! @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @hiqhkey @enfinitystansenhypen

permanent taglist ! still open ! @soobin-chois @aksemy @ja4hyvn @enhacolor @abdiitcryy @ahnneyong @jungwonsgfnameyukie @stepout-09-15 @llllllllama @mafukissu @loveliii @vieniee @curly-fr13s @officiallyjaehyuns @ixomiyu @luva1y @pkjay @txtbrainrot @xiaoderrrr @jhopesucker @haknom

#enhypen angst #enhypen niki #enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen oneshots #enhypen riki #enhypen imagines #enha scenarios #enhypen scenarios #enha riki #enha niki #enha oneshots #enha angst #enha fluff #enha fanfic #enha imagines #nishimura riki #nishimura riki angst #nishimura riki oneshots #nishimura riki fluff #enhypen nishimura riki #niki imagines #niki angst #niki fluff #niki oneshots #riki fluff #riki angst #riki oneshots #niki scenarios #riki scenarios

[controversialhpmemes]

I think the main problem with the marauders fandom is the way they’ve ruined some characters and some ships. There’s nothing wrong with shipping something that makes zero sense, I ship Parkfinch and Twosquared, I can’t talk, but I feel like there are ways to do it that aren’t as … I want to say OOC.

I remember years back I got into Jegulus for a very short period of time. It used to be an interesting ship, and the people that shipped it did used to be fully aware that it made zero sense in canon and tagged as such. Jegulus fics used to have much darker subject matter, and explored the fact that both James and Regulus were incredibly flawed. It was less James saving Regulus, and more James giving Regulus the tools to save himself.

Even then, I distinctly remember there being multiple fanfics that had sad endings. Either with them simply not being able to work out their issues, or with one of them dying for canoodling with the enemy, or with them killing each other in battle even. It used to be so dark and nuanced and interesting, even in the fics where Regulus did see the light.

I also don’t remember Wolfstar always being a background ship. There were multiple with background Moonflower, and I remember getting super invested in the Remus and Lily side plot of one. Even the ones where Wolfstar was a background ship, it was still much grittier and more interesting than they seem to be now. Severus Snape was barely mentioned, let alone bashed in these fics, although sometimes Snily was the background ship.

Jegulus just doesn’t have the same intrigue it used to have. And back then there were definitely some more feel good OOC fics, but that happened with every ship so it wasn’t super noticeable. With how it’s treated now it feels like they’ve destroyed the characters.

All of the nuance of James being a bully, and being arrogant, and realising that he wasn’t as different to other pureblood’s as he thought has vanished. All of the nuance of Regulus learning his heroes were wrong, coming to terms with the suffering he caused, and trying (sometimes failing) to become a better person has vanished. Now it’s sunshine boy and forced DE.

It’s fine to depict them this way as long as you tag correctly. The in character fanfics were however much more interesting in my opinion, and had a much better dynamic that for a very brief period of time had me liking the ship. Those days are gone though.

I believe it has to do with fandom morality and fandom purity culture. Characters cannot be too dark or too flawed. They cannot be problematic. They can have superficial flaws but not real ones. Taking away the darkness of a character is stripping that character of what makes them interesting.

Tagging correctly, OOC and AU is the way to go.

#asked #answered #anti marauders fanon #anti marauders fandom #anti marauderstok #anti jegulus #anti wolfstar #sirius black #james potter #regulus black #fandom wank #fandom culture #fandom problems #remus lupin #marauders #marauders era #the marauders

[sapphicherri]

you describing yourself as a yapper gf is actually so adorable im gonan EPXLDOE.

i love love love when people go reciting a whole ass essay about topics theyre interested in or just anything in general and i think thats such a cute quality like AWWW

also i physically cannot sleep unless theres some kind of talking noise in the background so i feel like im not alone LMAO

so um yeah im the gf thats willing to listen to you yap on about anything until im half asleep and ill still let out a sleepy hum to tell you that im still listening GAVJHABHGSCHGAG

um can we kiss..

i can talk forever about things i don’t even really care about so when the subject is something im invested in i’ll go on for days LMAO, i started journaling specifically to reduce the amount of talking i force my friends and family to listen to lol

i have definitely yapped people to sleep before so basically we’re meant to be together so ofc we can kiss mwah<3

#🍒 answers #from > anon #i also cannot sleep in the quiet #my brain is usually loud af tho #LMAO

[darklove9314-blog]

Dancing with you in the Garden

I meant to post this yesterday, but got caught up in other things I hope everyone enjoys it! For Elucien Week Day 5 (Prompt:Nature) Set during Nessian’s mating ceremony, Elain goes to her garden to get some time away, but when she sees Lucien there in her garden. Things don’t go exactly as planned (Slight NSFW)

Elain wasn’t sure when she had an inclining to leave her sister’s mating ceremony, but when things were winding down and the night was so bright in the sky, she made sure her eldest sister was occupied and grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass so she could have some private time in her garden alone.

Ever since she had been a child, she had adored weddings, and while she admitted that mating ceremonies weren’t much different, they were still a firm reminder of what she and her sisters had lost. Not that Feyre or Nesta had ever truly been invested in them, but she always had been.

She took a sip of the wine trying to banish those thoughts away, the last thing she wanted to do tonight was think of the man who betrayed her, the one who had told her he would love her no matter what until she was forced to turn into this and chained to a fae male who she hardly knew.

Elain knew Lucien had come to the ceremony, he even made small talk with the others, but kept his distance from her as much as possible, perhaps tonight was also a firm reminder for him about what the price of immortality had cost her, or perhaps his mind had been on something else entirely.

Sighing, Elain walked towards her garden, the flowers in full bloom as she sat down at the blanket that she had placed on the grass for occasions where she just wanted some down time.

Popping the cork once more, Elain brought the wine to her empty glass and filled it, hoping that Rhys did not cheap out on the wine at the ceremony as she poured herself a generous glass, bringing it towards her lips as Elain sipped it greedily.

Thankfully, they had gotten the good stuff as Elain leaned back, glancing at the stars as she listened to the music from the ceremony in the background.

She closed her eyes remembering a past time in a past life, the parties she would go to, filled with music from every corner of the world. It was true beauty. A joy that Elain has always known until it had been cruelty ripped away from her.

Think of something else She told herself, not wanting to go back to the nights she had either her old friends and her ex fiancé. Or else she would never stop living in the past.

She turned her face up to the moonlight sad that it wasn’t daytime and she could t feel the sunshine on her face. But glad that she could at least sense all the aspects of nature. Smell the flowers she had planted around her as she laid her hand on the grass to feel it.

She reveled in its touch, the feel of it underneath her finger tips as she sighed, thanking the mother that she was alone in her garden.

Hoping that no one would come to the garden, Elain took another sip of her wine, placing it down beside her as she hitched up her skirts and let her fingers wander to where she wanted them the most.

She let out a sigh of relief, plunging two of her fingers into her entrance as she lifted her eyes to the night sky.

She knew it was a risk to be doing this out here where anyone could come out and notice what she was doing, but that was the best part of doing it.

Everyone expected her to be so tame, to do nothing daring, but this, this was something she could control, and the thrill of it was something she had never known.

She plunged her fingers in and out, trying to find the right spot, trying to reach her own personal form of ecstasy as she heard a rustle coming from the bushes as she gasped sitting up and whirling to see none other than the devil himself and right in the perfect view to see her bared before him. Perfect.

He glanced at her for one second before he turned to avoid her gaze. She blew out a breath of frustration, throwing her skirts over herself as she said.

“You can look now. I’m decent.”

She grabbed the glass of wine taking another sip of it and hoping that it would stop the fierce blush on her cheeks, but Lucien, besides a quick look in his eyes didn’t seem fazed at all.

“Enjoying the night air?” He asked her glancing around her garden.

She huffed, taking another sip of her wine as she rolled her eyes at the question.

"Do you ever stop being such a nuisance?" She spat out floored at her boldness.

Lucien shrugged, that sly grin of his that both thrilled and annoyed her flashing on his face as he looked around the garden once more, intrigue within his fiery gaze.

"What?" She snapped as that smile returned.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about how Feyre would paint this moment, well not the one beforehand because you're her sister, but just you within the garden. Looking more at peace then I usually see you."

"That's because when you're here, there is no peace."

She expected him to say nothing, to just go away and not come back, but this time, his response took her by surprise.

"It's not my fault, you know."

"What's not your fault?" She snapped, her own frustration growing.

"It's not my fault that he left you." Lucien snapped as Elain sat up, her bare feet brushing against the grass.

"Really because from where I stand it is."

Lucien gritted his teeth, looking damn right otherworldly in this God forsaken moonlight.

"No. It's not. Whether it had been me or any other male you were chained to, Greyson would have left you, because he did not truly love you. At least not really."

"You didn't know him like I did." Elain cried out, wanting to smack him, to make him hurt like she was hurting. but somewhere down the surface she knew that his harsh words rang true.

"I may not have, but that doesn't stop me from hating him because of what he did to you."

She blinked, surprised at his response. What had he meant by that?

"You mean you don't hate him because of some stupid male claim you made on me, because I'm your mate?"

Lucien glanced up towards the moonlight, rubbing the back of his neck as he pondered this.

"I can't help how the mating bond makes me react in some cases, but for the most part, I hate Greyson, because he's an idiot. He's an idiot, because whether you were human or fae, he should have stuck by you, he should have kept those promises that he made to you."

"How do you know he made promises to me?" She pressed, hanging onto his words. They were closer now, so close that she could reach out and touch him if she wished to.

He glanced down at her, his gaze made of sunshine, flames, and everything in between as he answered,

"Because every male makes promises to the female he loves. Regardless if those promises are forever." He answered, his stare seeming distant as something akin to grief rested behind it.

"You speak like someone who has made those promises." Elain whispered as Lucien seemed to come back to the present.

"Because once I did."

This shocked her, she thought most fae males had not loved others that weren't there mates, but from the look in his gaze, she could see that hers had loved someone else before as well, something that they both shared.

"What was her name?" She found herself asking, though she knew it wasn't her place.

She waited for Lucien to tell her to go to hell or remind her that it was none of her business, but what he said next shocked her,

"Her name was Jesminda."

"Was?" She asked, wondering what had happened to the female.

"She-died a long time ago." He answered, though Elain had caught how he hesitated on the word died.

"Why did you hesitate on the word died?" She asked, grimacing at her rudeness. She had been raised better than that. Knew better than to ask someone who grieved the loss of a loved one more information about their death.

"Because the word died makes her death sound more peaceful then it was."

"How did she die?" Elain asked, knowing that she crossing her bounds, that she was plunging into the depths of no return, but she found herself wanting to know more about him, about his life before her.

"She was murdered by my father." Lucien admitted as disgust roiled through her.

"Were you-"

He nodded, grief striking his gaze,

"He saw it fit to punish me, because I would rather have married a lesser fae than ever be a son of his. So he decided to take that option from me, He made my brothers hold me down as he forced me to watch."

Her stomach sank as she felt a fiercer anger than she had ever known. For Lucien, for what the male who had claimed himself to be his father had put him through.

She reached for his hand intertwining her fingers through his as he glanced at her in surprise.

"I'm sorry for what he did to you, and what he did to her. He is a horrid male if his response to your happiness is to take it from you."

"That he is." Lucien agreed.

"What was she like?"

"She was-exquisite. She lit up every room that she walked into and she was kind to everyone, including those who others tended to not like, but most importantly she made me feel like I was more than just some High Lords neglected and bothersome son, she made me feel like someone who was more important then I realized, perhaps that's why in the end, my father killed her, not because of her lesser fae heritage, though make no mistake that was a reason, but for what she dared to do. For making me the male she always thought i could be."

"She sounds like an amazing female." Elain said, squeezing Lucien's hand in comfort.

"That she was."

"Why did the mother not make her your mate?" Elain inquired though she knew she was only pressing deeper into his hurt.

"That is a question that I think upon everyday, it was why I told you about our mating bond, because I was surprised that it hadn't been her. I loved her so fiercely that I thought she was my mate, and when I found out that you were my mate-"

"It felt like everything that happened to her and to you could have been avoided? That you could have saved her from the losing her life if you had known that you were fated for another."

"I know it sounds selfish, and downright cruel, but-"

"I understand it. Perhaps I did not lose someone the same way you did-however, I do understand the weight of grief, of blaming yourself for a death that was out of your control, for thinking that maybe if you would have done something differently the outcome would have been different."

"Exactly."

"Well, as someone who could predict the future, I can tell you that regardless of whether or not you have the ability or knowledge to do so, the world will still do what it wants to, regardless of your feeling towards it."

"Such is the way of life."

After a long pause of silence, Elain finally told Lucien,

"If Greyson and I were married by the time you had met me, if he had accepted my fae nature instead of turning his back on me-would things have been different between us?"

Lucien glanced her as she felt the warmth of his hand upon her face, though it shocked her that she did not push him away.

"I want to say no, but the truth is that I'm not that kind of male. If he had accepted you for everything that you are, then I would have let you go. Because regardless of what you may think of me and this mating bond, the last thing I ever wanted to do was stand between you and your happiness. I have lost, yes, sometimes more than I would like to admit, but I have also loved too, Loved so fiercely that I could never imagine not having that in my life. And if that was what he was to you, I would have gladly walked away. Because that is what you do for someone regardless if they were supposed to be the world to you. You let them be happy, even if that happiness isn't with you."

Elain wasn't sure why she had done it, had hardly knew that she would ever feel the urge to do so, but she leaned into him, brushing her lips against his as she felt the press of his lips. A kiss she had been searching for her whole life, one that she hadn't known could truly exist.

She wasn't sure how long they stood like that, exploring the confides of each others mouths before one of them pulled away, their breaths shallow and in the moonlight as they glanced at each other.

"That was-" He started, not able to finish his sentance as she answered,

"I know."

"We-should probabaly get back to the ceremony."

She nodded, not sure where to go from here as she picked up the bottle of wine, and spun back around to where they had been standing, surprise catching her off guard as she stared at the sunflowers that had grown underneath their feet. How had that-

She shook her head, not knowing what to say or do as she put her shoes back on and grabbed the wine, ready to head back to her sister's ceremony, not sure what was truly happening between her and Lucien, only knowing that in this moment she knew that something between them had forever been changed.

@elucienweekofficial

#elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elucien #elucien week #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[laylajeffany]

Hi! As you can probably guess, I completely love Chaos, and I have a few more questions. Thanks for the playlist by the way, it’s been all I’ve listened to since you linked it. Sorry for all the questions, I’m just curious.

1) In the Spotify playlist, the first song is “Sea, swallow me”. Is that song referenced somewhere in the fic, or does it just give off a general Chaos vibe? I’ve been trying to remember if it was mentioned somewhere but cant recall. As an additional Note, it is my new favourite song, so thanks!

2) You mentioned that all the OCs appearances are physically based on real people. Who are Dr Zypher, Emiliana and Holly-Jane based on? Is Emiliana based off of Eva Green, because thats how I imagine her. You’ve done an excellent job with the OCs, they’re just so perfect.

3) When you describe clothing, do you make them up in your mind or doe they actually exist? I get that some, like the custom ordered dresses in the latest chapter, must be made up, but are some of them real? Do you have some Pinterest board with all of their clothes just to keep track? 😂

4) How do you find time to write? I write 1000 words for my fic every day, and it takes me about an hour. 50K chapters in 2 weeks is a miracle. Do you sleep?

I’ve probably forgotten a question or two, so I hope you don’t mind if I ask more in the future😅

Thank you for all you do, I’ve never been so invested in a fic before. Just remember to relax and take breaks when you need it, don’t force yourself to write on 2 hours sleep!

I am happy to answer questions about Chaos for the Fly, the writing process, and other fic/writing related things. Thank you for your interest! 1. I think I referenced near the beginning somewhere that Wednesday had discovered some music on her own outside of classical when she accepted an algorithm to suggest songs for her. It had been 80s imports of some kind - and that was probably the one that I had in mind, even if it wasn’t mentioned specifically. There’s probably a few songs that weren’t actually mentioned by name but were alluded to in the fic - meaning I didn’t say the title in dialogue, but had something playing in the background for myself, and there you have it. 2. You have opened a VERY DANGEROUS can of worms with this question, lmfao.

You are a dead ringer for Emiliana! That’s Eva Green, 100%, the ONLY person who could play the role. It would be like a touch of Penny Dreadful for the out-of-her-damn-mind demon possession vibes, but mostly, just as herself (she’s cray and I love how socially awkward and accidentally funny she is in interviews) not so much Vanessa Ives. Eva Green has worked with Tim Burton a ton of times and wouldn’t even need a single line of direction in this role. Emi is SO easy to write because she is pure chaos both in physicality, mentally, her linguistics, her magic, and personality. I honestly think she’s one of the characters I’m saddest isn’t real because she’d fit in to drive Wednesday absolutely MAD as her big bird. I have a feeling we’re not going to explore Raven lore in S2 and the two of them trying to figure out their powers together, after Emiliana spent half her life suffering alone, has been some of my favorite parts of the fic to write. I always write scenes with Emiliana the fastest. Her love of Beanie Babies and bad influence is entirely, too much fun. Her voice is so easy and she will never truly understand American idioms. 

Dr. Zypher is AMY ADAMS, because GAY-ME, for Amy Adams. She’d absolutely crush the role, the fact that she doesn’t have a closet full of Oscars is just despicable (6 time nominee bro). SHE HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL and I don’t think anyone ever lets her sing enough in movies. Put this woman in some broadway revival of an old musical and you’ll catch me personally saving the economy from collapse by taking the train up to see her every weekend. She's so adaptable and different in any role, and I just feel like she’d volley SO WELL with JO’s Wednesday. She's a professional who understands character layers that sweet and angsty Josie requires.

Dr. Holly is Emily Blunt plucked right from the Jungle Cruise movie in terms of how she’s styled but a far cry from her character there with her boldness - even if they would likely have competing career ambitions. ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN EMILY BLUNT IN ALL THE SUITS IN THE NEW NETFLIX PAIN HUSTLER MOVIE? I’m deceased. This is a ghost writing. Holly is really in the story 1) because I needed a plot line for Larissa, post-transformation, that didn’t involve Wednesday and was TRAGIC but beautiful and could GO SOMEWHERE, and2) we REALLY do need something to stabilize the molecular structure of shifting-type Outcasts, and 3) it helped give some context as to how desperate Larissa was to hire Normie "Thornhill" and why she took that chance against her usually better judgement- so there she was! Emily Blunt is a CLASS. ACT. In everything she does and I imagine her in a scene with Gwendoline COULD NEVER exist because it would be too powerful, solve all the world’s problems, and capitalism would break, societies would collapse. It could never happen. It wouldn’t be safe. Here’s her glow up, from fresh-out-of-the jungle, to letting Larissa buy her some new clothes and maybe letting her hair down every now and then, to nerdy botanist bombshell, at the New Nevermore Network, helping her girl rebuild things to be a more fair society for Outcasts. GORGE. 

ARE THESE ALL JUST WOMEN IN THEIR MID 40s THAT I HAVE A BIG LESBIAN CRUSH ON? YEAH, YEAH THEY ARE. There’s obviously more for staff at Nevermore and the Network but I have a solid 5k to get to writing still this evening. The rest of my OCs are pretty minor (well villain aside), and I don’t really care enough about any man to spend the time looking for pictures of /boys/. These are the 3 OCs that are featured the most, anyway. Some day I’ll find enough energy to do the rest. I have extreme face-blindness when I read, and the ONLY WAY I can thusly write an OC is if my beta makes a powerpoint presentation for me with an actor/ress in mind for me to visualize in the role. When I tell ya, she hit the nail on the head with those three above? Unbelievable.  Another favorite not-OC, but someone I HARDCORE RECASTED FOR THIS would be Granny Frump. We went from Margaret Hamilton (OG Wicked Witch of the West from Wizard of Oz) in the 1960s Addams Family, which is EXCELLENT CASTING, but to fit the more modern-era Wednesday 2022 adaptation, and to give a flair of the drama as to perhaps where Morticia “gets it from,” I decided to cast someone only two years older than Catherine Zeta-Jones to give that “Frump Homespun Magic” storyline some weight of ‘the potions and beauty charms work’ and went with a non-actress, for the aesthetics (though she could KILL IT her appearances are small), and that is the one and only, What Not To Wear’s Stacy London.

Like IMAGINE that matching vibe with CZJ’s Morticia? Stacy has similar build/some features in common, and with the all black hair BUT WITH HER SIGNATURE gray stripe? Iconic. (And that was also Grandpa “Clint’s” backstory last chapter, as in Stacy and Clinton’s dramatic saga. HEY - IF YOU DONT HAVE INSIDE JOKES WITH YOUR BETA in your writing, what’s the point??) Stacy’s voice and CZJ’s Morticia voice together would be SO GRATING and Wednesday would just be so in-her-element between them, I LIVE.  3. I usually just visualize what I’d want the characters to wear! I don’t often have picture inspiration - though sometimes I am writing and it says in bold highlight DESCRIBE THE DRESS - TRACEY FIND ME A DRESS, and she sends me some pictures to go through so I can just describe a garment without having to make it up. I don’t have a Pinterest I’d be willing to share. It’s just a binder full of women in a way that would probably unsettle most. 

4. I usually write about 2-2.5k an hour if that is all I’m focused on. I probably average 4-9k on a work day without a second job or social obligation after work, and the most I’ve ever written on a single day that I had no work, other ‘sponserbilities, or social plans was 21k. On an average weekend with like one thing to do during the day and some chores and relaxation time not writing, I probably go around 14-16k per day. At the same time I started this fic, I set a new year resolution to myself to only work my contracted hours, so with the exception of a few crazy times in the school year - like conferences - I work from 8:00-15:30 M-F, and I live a three minute walk from my school, so I don’t even lose time commuting. I also stopped working on weekday evenings on the side in August, and starting in 2024 will not be doing any extra side work at all. I don’t sleep great but I do try! :) Thanks for the questions! I've been meaning to give some faces to those 3 OCs. I strongly encourage you to print out pictures of them and post them on your fridge, you will be 100% happier if you do.

#chaos for the fly #layla answers fic questions

[konigscrusade]

(This is like 5% ask and 95% compliments) I have to extend all my love and thanks over Midnight Ocean! I’m on my third re-read of the story (and I’m severly dyslexic, so reading the entire thing multiple times is the most I’ve read probably in my entire life!). You are so beyond dedicated to your writing and I can’t thank you enough for it <3 Your story keeps me on my toes, all of the characters are SO rich and nuanced, all of their relationships, conflicts and imperfections truly shine in your work. I’m affraid your work has spoiled me for fanfiction, i keep thinking ”but damn… this isn’t Midnight Ocean levels” and then go and continue my re-reads. Once it’s complited, by the gods, I’m going bind it by hand in leather.

I’m beyond excited for the upcoming events when ever they happen: Hades finding out about Zagreus, whatever Persephone has got cooking up, their first true ”I love you” and of course the removing of the pall. (And events yet unexpected by me!!)

What is something you’ve been waiting to write and see readers react to? (As much as you can tell obviously)

Can’t begin to describe how much of a joy MO has been and continues to be. I look forwards to updates like the rising of the moon. Genuinely from the bottom of my heart, thank you <3

Thank you so much! It always means a lot to hear someone enjoys MO enough to reread it, let alone want to bind it. It's brought me a lot of joy to write, and getting to share that and know others appreciate it is really amazing.

I'll go ahead and answer the rest under the cut to avoid spoiling things.

And of course, as I was typing the spoilers turned... sort of major so lol beware?

I've gotten to a few parts I've been waiting and waiting to write recently, but they won't be posted to Ao3 yet (Moros Silly Boy Behavior, Alcmene's Return, Nemesis' Box Reveal, the joys of using Eros' book). But the really, really big ones I haven't gotten to yet are of course things that readers are most excited for, too, like the Hades meeting, Olympus' reaction, things like that.

A few I don't think people mention a lot, though: Theseus™, (maybe big spoilers for people who aren't familiar with mythology, though I think this has been mentioned in the notes) Theseus' whole deal with both Medea and Heracles (and how that then is meant to foil Thanatos' dynamics), Heracles for that matter, also...... Ares' return to the story... the DILF energy we need in these trying times.

Hades and Thanatos' relationship is one I've thought about so much over the years, and I'm so excited to finally get to put that on the page and see people respond. Demeter is also such an important figure in all of this that often gets ignored both by me and others, and she'll be very, very fun to finally include. The continuation of Hermes' background arc stuff...

Something only me and like two random people are invested in: the continuation of Moros bullshit. My poor little meow meow, my perfect uwu foil to my other perfect uwu baby (Thanatos). My silly rabbit, here to cause problems and help Zagreus establish more independence if entirely unintentionally etc. And Moros' goofy little romance arc, that will be fun.

Also, the actual proper Cupid & Psyche Moment, y'know, the big part of the narrative. Sometimes people ask if it will happen, really expressing that they can't see it as even a possibility in the MO narrative, or others express total unfamiliarity with the plot of the myth so they don't know about The Moment at all (part of why I'm reluctant to clarify What Moment lmao)... I'm eager for that, though I know it will result in people being very, very angry at me.

I don't think this is tooooo spoilery because I think it's been made clear it will happen, but Eros showing up will be so fun, not to mention Psyche! Actual Psyche lol! We can't have a whole narrative about soul porn without the OG soulfuckers.

Oh, Hypnos too. And Pasithea who has unwittingly had her marriage present (the Eros book) lowkey highjacked.

Sorry this mostly turned into incoherent babbling. I hope it's both not too spoilery, but also answers the question lol? Either way, thank you again!

#la correspondance #spoilers #midnight ocean

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @writcraft

September is indeed a blessed month as some of my favourite fandom folks celebrate their birthdays (and I resent that!! 😂). I completely missed Writcraft’s a few days ago so this is a humble if belated little gift to celebrate them. As I put this together I realized I’ve never made a proper reclist for them, despite having read almost everything from their catalogue at this point. The heresy! So I thought maybe this could be some sort of love letter too, to show how much I appreciate their contributions to the fandom over the years.

I’ve been reading Writ’s fics - both Drarry and rare pairs, hello Harry/Teddy and Snarry my beloved! - since 2012. Not even in my wildest dreams I imagined I’d ever get to interact, let alone be friends with the mind behind one of my all-time favorite reads, the iconic Little Compton Street. This story means so much to me it’s impossible to think of it without getting choked up in my emotions.

For the first time I found myself eager to learn more about queer history through fic, because of the touching and sensitive approach to the theme, which got me as invested in it as I was in the Drarry romance. LCS was also the first fic that made me wish I could see a first kiss scene on the big screen (with Bowie’s Life on Mars in the background of course!); it’s the first fic that made me consider James/Sirius as a romantic ship, the first fic that took me by the hand and guided me into London’s vibrant and seductive landscape and nightlife, not to mention the places of historical significance for the queer community. I have recently reread the equally fabulous How We Were Warriors - a must read for any Snarry fan! - and was hit by the same magical feeling of “wow, I’m so privileged to be able to dive deep into 🏳️‍🌈 history while falling in love with NYC”. And it happened organically, in a way that made me feel nostalgic for a place I’ve only been to once in my life. The power that Writ’s storytelling holds!

But as much as I’d love to, I’m not here to talk about LCS or HWWW, but to shine light on a few of my favorite hidden gems by this talented writer, who’s just as brilliant exploring a range of rare pairs dynamics, especially the intricacies of angsty romance between characters with a complicated past. Writ explores these nuances with so much care and sensitivity. Their writing offers a generous but realistic portrait of adult themes like coming out, loneliness, internalized homophobia and mental health. All fascinating yet difficult subjects to navigate. But every fic of theirs transpires heart and research, carefully crafted to guide us through a singular, poignant emotional ride full of catharsis, self-awareness and hope. I consider many of these essential to my fandom “coming of age” so to speak, as I became an adult reader who gravitates towards adult stories about adult characters put in adult situations. Writcraft offers unique perspectives by combining seriousness, grief and sorrow with a spark of youth, wonder and tenderness.

Without further ado, here are some short-ish treats for your weekly reading list. Drarry and rare pairs (especially Snarry and femslash), let’s rejoice! I’m sure you’ll find something for your tastes in here. Lastly, nobody asked but the banner inspo comes from a moodboard I did a while ago, featuring a butterfly. When I googled its meaning, here’s what came up: Butterflies are beautiful and have mystery, symbolism, and meaning and are a metaphor representing spiritual rebirth, transformation, change, hope, and life. The magnificent, yet short life of the butterfly closely mirrors the process of spiritual transformation and serves to remind us that life is short. Not sure how much of that is true but I found it very poetic and fitting!

Writ, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for the fandom throughout the years - for being such an inspiration for both authors and readers, for providing the BEST clubbing fics and being a rare pair enthusiast, and finally, for being a strong voice for queer representation and legacy of resistance and hope. Every time we talk I am in awe of how open and generous you are, always willing to share knowledge and experiences about these themes. I’m so happy to be getting to know you, and I hope you’ve had a lovely birthday last week! 💜

Drarry:

Dapper (2016, E, 4k) - delicious PWP with a perfect balance between smooth development, playful banter and hot hot hot smut! Love their voices here.

Draco starts wearing Muggle suits and Harry’s definitely losing his mind.

Dancing on His Own (2016, E, 6k) - I feel the urge to rec every single clubbing fic Writ has ever written, it’s such a strong trademark and I love their sexy, freeing and entrancing atmosphere. Get ready to fall in love with London nights as our boys inevitably falling together.

Under the decadent lights of London’s gay bars, Draco and Harry find one another again after years of searching.

Merlin’s Kitchen (2021, E, 12k) - another fantastic and engaging clubbing fic with Writ’s brand of sensual atmosphere, rich and adult and so incredibly compelling. I would stay in this universe forever learning more about this charming and fascinating Harry through Draco’s eyes. Kudos for that ending full of promise!

Merlin’s Kitchen is a shit nightclub but having sex with Harry Potter might improve things.

Dirty Little Secret (2013, E, 22k) - a wonderful and refreshing take on BDSM, it’s such a treat to watch Harry and Draco navigate and discover their kinky side, eager and clumsy and relying to much on the hate/love dynamics that we love. They sound so very young and deliciously flawed here, and I adore how this fic gives them room to grow and brings them back together at the end.

When someone threatens Harry’s life, Kingsley decides to send him to a safe house with only Draco Malfoy for company. As the two men are forced together, memories of the past resurface and secrets are discovered.

Collapse Amongst the Dying Stars (2013, M, 26k) - I’ve only read this fic once and it was enough to leave a lasting impression. There’s something to be said about an author who makes you read tropes you usually avoid (mind the tags!) but I was so deeply immersed and invested I didn’t even care. This devastating yet perfectly executed time travel journey will break your heart with this fascinating Draco development and this beautiful, loving Harry. It’s about the catharsis 😔🤌🏼

After the final battle nothing is quite as Harry expected. Death Eaters remain unaccounted for, Malfoy is in prison and there is something rotten in Azkaban. Banned from assisting the Aurors, Harry keeps himself busy with regular visits to Malfoy and works to bring light to the darkness of 12 Grimmauld Place. Cw: implied rape, character death, unhappy ending.

Rare pairs:

Stone Butch Blues (2018, T, 1k) - if you haven’t read the LCS instalment focused on Will/Minerva (which you absolutely should RIGHT NOW) maybe start here with this brilliant short. An incredible take on gender fluid Will and superb dialogue that left me hooked and so curious to learn more about these two. So much character within 1k, my god, what an impressive short!

Will reminisces with Minerva.

Where Thestrals Fly (2014, T, 3k) - beautiful Snarry short, I love the premise and the unique narrative style, it’s wonderful to see their backstory and attraction slowly unravel with the Thestrals ritual and the post-war scenario as background. Soft, sensual, contemplative. Yum!

Every Beltane, Severus and Harry undertake the ritual of moving Thestrals between the Bel fires. As they grow closer the light in their future steadily overpowers the darkness of their past.

Storm Chasers (2020, E, 4.5k) - I’m so fond of my first Ginny/Tonks fic - this is a lovely, poetic and thrilling get together with compelling characters and organic chemistry. I love the intimate writing, the sexual exploration, the A+ character development. Non-binary Tonks is a joy to read!

It starts, as these things often do, with hummus.

Tonight Let's Get Some (2019, E, 4.5k) - oof I’m so thirsty for this scorching Harry/Charlie, you can taste the sexual tension in your bones and their dynamics are quite organic and casual. Great characterization, sexy clubbing aesthetics + voyeurism/public sex as a special treat, my favorite! A must read for any Charlie slut like me 😌

Harry discovers private karaoke rooms are great for blow jobs, gets a crash course in Muggle music and hopes that One Direction songs are the way to Charlie Weasley’s cock heart.

True Colors (2017, E, 6k) - one of the sweetest Harry/Teddy I’ve ever read, this fic holds a special place in my heart. It is so moving and full of gentleness and hope. I love the tentative dynamics and how they slowly but surely come together after dancing around each other. The way Teddy yearns for Harry is so tender it hits right in the feels and leaves me swooning for their love.

Teddy spent the last year running away from his feelings for Harry. Now it’s time to come home.

No Comparison (2020, E, 7k) - imo the ultimate comfort Snarry, very different from the usual angsty take we see out there. This is both hilarious and sweet with a charming take on the characters, delightful flirting banter and a satisfying get together. I love the refreshing “omg they’re officemates” scenario, plus their chemistry is 👩‍🍳💋

Sharing an office with Severus is driving Harry mad. When he discovers Severus isn’t quite as straight as he first believed, Harry decides there’s only one way to resolve their constant bickering.

Holding Out for A Hero (2015, E, 7.5k) - one of my all-time favourite Harry/Teddy fic, this is a sinfully hot and romantic get together + first time, my favourite combo for this ship. So much tender domesticity and soft mutual pining, plus breathtaking smut and a beautiful, sweet Teddy melting both Harry’s resistance and our hearts. I’ve read this one more times than I can count, delicious!

Even as he says no, Harry’s hands push into Teddy’s hair. Even as he protests, his lips connect with Teddy’s. Before Teddy can offer any reassurance his heart’s thumping wildly in his chest and Harry Potter’s kissing him as if there’s no tomorrow.

The Way We Were (2021, E, 15k) - after LCS this was the fic that made my heart beat faster for Prongsfoot! A poignant “coming of age” story with friends to lovers, queer awakening and LGBT themes in the 70s, only Writ delivers this wistful mix of excitement and devastation. This is complex and nuanced with James and Sirius navigating the complicated feelings of their changing relationship, all with the impending war looming in the background.

At nineteen, James Potter is missing Hogwarts, nursing a broken heart and worrying about his ailing parents. James needs his friends more than ever, but Remus is behaving strangely, Peter is too busy with his new job and Sirius has a secret more terrifying than the whispers of a looming war.

#hidden gems s3 #happy belated bday writ <3

[followmybones]

Encounters at the Blooming Inn

Blooming Panic's four love interests in a Fantasy AU 

headcanons + drabbles *male reader/mc intended 

I don't usually write for Blooming Panic, but I wanted to do something special to celebrate @godlyaffection and his 1000+ followers! Congrats my friend! If you don't know his blog go check him out, he makes some awesome male reader content, and I hope he enjoys this clusterfuck of a post! I'll probably expand on this idea later! Enjoy!

Quest as a fighter

 Came from a rough background after hanging out with the wrong crowd and being forced to take the blame for the actions of others, he turned his life around and began trying to right the wrongs he did, he felt had to prove himself, even if that meant using his unsavory skills to make the world safer. 

 Immediately after being released from imprisonment, he avoided using his fighting skills at all, he wouldn't even defend himself if someone started getting rough with him. It wasn’t until he saved a young child from being attacked that he realized he could use his skills to help others.

 Often accepts the bounties and quests no one wants because they come from those who can't offer much, he doesn’t do that kind of work anyways, he manages the Blooming Tavern and Inn for an old man who helped him turn his life around.

 Running the inn is a large comfort for him, he dislikes being alone but all the personalities who find refuge at the inn and tavern help ease him.

“Oh, hello there angel. Just a room tonight?” He looks up from a guest book and reaches to grab a set of keys.

“As long as you pay and don’t cause any trouble, feel free to stay for as long as you like.” His smile widens, and he lets his hand linger as you grab the key to your room.

“You look tired, let me get you something to eat before you head to your room, on the house, of course. If you ever need anything, even just some company, feel free to ask for me, I go by the name Quest.” 

Nightowl as a bard 

 He came from a noble family, and against his family’s wishes, became a bard.

 He snuck out when he was young only to befriend a bard who began to teach him how to play the lute and eventually suggested that he attend college and learn how to better wield his musical magic, which he did.

 While trying to find his own path, he ended up making friends and finding his way in the world without relying on his parents’ names.

 Lives at the Blooming Inn where he works and performs in trade for lodging. He rarely accepts quests or bounties as he’s still focused on honing his magic abilities and mastering other instruments.

 Definitely focused on string instruments, prefers the lute, and honestly kind of hates the lyre (he thinks it ruins the vibe he’s going for).

 Loves to use his magic to enhance his performances, he absolutely loves to show off and have fun whenever he sings or plays his lute.

 His favorite songs have always been love songs, even if he rarely had someone in mind when it came to love, there was just a special magic to it.

“I saw you watching my performance,” the bard grins, leaning down to press a kiss to your hand, “anything I can help you with, cutie? Perhaps another drink.. or a private show?” 

His confidence and sultry grin makes it obvious what he’s implying, but there’s a warmth and charisma to him that you can’t help but be drawn to. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want,” he pauses to look at someone who seems to be calling him. 

“Find me later if you decide you’re interested,” and with a wink, he leaves you with the words: “goodbye for now cutie.”

NakedToaster as a wizard 

 Came from a long line of magic users, but his parents turned away from magic, and he had to teach himself. He began hiding away in his room, teaching himself magic at a fairly young age. 

 At first, magic was a way to rebel against his parents, but it very quickly became something he was invested in, and he wanted to practice magic to be one of the best.

 He hopes to expand the understanding of magic and the things he can do, he’s talented with magic, and he knows that, and he hopes to find out what else magic can accomplish.

 He never received any formal training, so his practices are very unorthodox, but he’s still just as powerful and incredible as any formally trained wizard.

 Travels around on quests, but he typically stays at the Blooming inn since it's close to multiple libraries and sites that he’s eager to keep close to for his research. 

His room at the Blooming Tavern is an absolute mess, there’s research and books everywhere, and he's taken down the cheap paintings to hang parchment with his handwriting sprawled messily on there, the room is Quest’s worst nightmare.

(in a D&D world setting would probably dual-class into an Artificer)

“Excuse me, just grabbing a book from above you real quick,” a voice calls startling you.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, just trying to grab so- that’s a good book.”

The wizard's face brightens as he notices the book you were skimming through. “What do you need that book for? If you’re doing research I have a better book for that. I stay at the inn a few minutes from here, if you want to join me, I could help you with that research at the inn’s tavern!” he rambles, “You can call me Toaster by the way.” 

XYX as a rogue

  He didn’t come from the most well-off family but they lived comfortable lives. Growing up it was easy to see he could charm anyone he came across, and he had a tendency to be a troublesome child, stealing and taking things from the kids who made nasty comments toward his siblings

 He figured he could put his charm and talent to good use, with the right employer he could use his skills for more than just petty thief, and that’s when he started taking on quests

 Seeing as he had a talent for getting whatever he wanted from people, he began looking for a group of adventurers to join and ended up finding himself at the Blooming Inn 

 Totally found the Blooming Inn on accident he said the words “I’m looking for a quest” to the wrong person once and ended up meeting the fighter, Quest, who took care of the Blooming Inn and Tavern 

 He often goes on quests with some of the other inhabitants of the Blooming Inn, even if his personality could be insufferable at times, they couldn't deny his talent.

“Mind if I join you?” Taking your shrug as an invitation the rogue with odd facial piercings sits next to you.

“I’ve come to properly welcome you to the Blooming Inn and Tavern by buying you a drink and providing you with some lovely company. I promise to keep my hands to myself,” he winks.

“What brings you to these parts anyways? Great adventures, searching for your gods, simply looking for some company?”

Before you get the chance to answer someone yells, “Xyx!” and the man next to you sighs, “well that’s my cue, I’ll buy you that drink next time doll.”

This post was done in association with @/godlyaffection & others for 'Adventure Awaits' fantasy themed event

#blooming panic #blooming panic x reader #x male reader #x gender neutral reader #xyx x reader #nakedtoaster x reader #quest x reader #nightowl x reader #event post

[the-type-a]

Some of my Duncney headcanons because you said you'd like to be spammed :)

- whenever they have lucky charms duncan always eats all of the marshmallows out of the box and leaves courtney with the plain cereal

-courtney doesn't like the crust on her sandwiches so duncan will eat it for her

-courtney is always the first to wake up in the morning, but sometimes duncan will turn off her alarm a day in advance just so he can spend more time with her

-in a world where total drama doesnt exist they always meet through mutual friends i dont know why but thats a rule

-He'll purposefully hide behind corners to scare her and it works 98% of the time but she grows used to it at some point

-they adopt a big threatening looking dog and name it princess and give it a pink collar or something

-when theyre teenagers shes at his house 99% of the time because it just feels so homey compared to hers

-they both wear glasses when theyre alone at home, dont ask why i just think its cute

-When they're not even that far into their relationship, he gets a tattoo of her name in cursive right above his collarbone or something because hes impulsive and she thinks its so thoughtful but also so incredibly stupid of him

-I headcanon that duncan has adhd and maybe a little bit of dyslexia so if he can't read something too well she'll read it to him

-She listens to him ramble and even if the topic changes 5 times she'll be there to add on and nod her head

-They go to the gym together and are SOOO competitive but are each other's biggest supporters at the same time

-She lets him give her a piercing at least once because he never shuts up about it

-She'll help him dye his hair

-Duncan's nose whistles while he sleeps because he has a crooked septum and Courtney complains about it at first but at some point it actually becomes really soothing and she'll wait for him to fall asleep first every night because the whistling helps her sleep

-Courtney cant cook for the life of her and she's jealous of him because he's one of the best cooks she's ever met. She'll follow a recipie to a T and it'll still turn out terrible, meanwhile he measures everything with his heart and it always turns out SO good.

-Duncan can sleep anywhere and everywhere meanwhile she'll be kept up by the littlest things. He knows this and will go to extreme measures just to make sure she's comfortable.

-Say they go to a restaurant and they get her order wrong. His first instinct is to tell off the waiter himself, but he knows she'll be pissed because she can fight her own battles, so he'll just support her in the background like "you heard the lady."

-He sleeps with socks on and it makes her SO mad

-Although he's hard to read, she can always tell when he's nervous because he twists around one of the studs in his ear.

-they both love cartoons

-They both get jealous so easily and it's a turn on for both of them when the other is jealous

-He listens to her work drama and gets soo invested. He'll say stuff like "You know I never liked that bitch" or "No I literally would've done the same thing If i were you-"

-He always thinks he's paying the bill at restaurants but she'll say she's going to the bathroom only to give them her card instead. He never finds out and takes so much pride in it.

-Duncan literally owns spiders but is terrified of something harmless like a moth or a ladybug. He instantly yells and forces Courtney to kill them instead.

-Before he leaves for work she'll kiss him and her lipstick will leave a mark on his face and she purposefully wont tell him

-He always takes pictures of her when she's not looking and sends them to their friends because he thinks she looks most beautiful when she doesn't even know it

-She tries to teach him spanish and he only picks up on the swears

-They both have terrible road rage. Like they should not be allowed to drive

-She gets addicted to something like candy crush or Hayday and he has to take her phone from her for her own safety

-Their playlists are so different but hand either one of them the aux and they always sing every word together

That's all I can think of right now 😂 but i hope atleast some of these sound in character for them

I loved every single one of these!

- tbh… I think Courtney would like that Duncan takes all the marshmallows from lucky charms. Idk they seem kinda gross and unnecessary… don’t hate me 👀

- Okay the crust one is so cute if it were Dramarama Duncney! Imagine her at lunch time and just pouting so much until Duncan asks her what’s wrong? Then he makes fun of her for “being a baby” and eats it for her. Then she vows to never let that happen again so she starts trying all the food things she hates.

- Duncan shuts Courtney’s alarm off ONE TIME and all hell breaks loose. She’s scrambling, cursing, and Duncan is just sitting there like “It’s Saturday.”

- Ah, the KB5 never fails us at setting up a Duncney meet up. Valid.

- The one where Duncan is trying to scare her constantly is so funny because I can just imagine her getting so used to it that doesn’t even phase her anymore. Like one day she’s going through the mail and he pops out and she completely ignored him and shoves a bill in his face 😅

- Oh they absolutely adopted a dog and name her princess! She’s a meany to the world but to her parents? Oh, she’s the biggest baby!

- Oh man, the one with Courtney being at Duncan’s house 24/7? YES. It makes me sad tbh, but I completely agree. Her household is just so strict that if you even sleep in past a normal waking hour her parents are hounding her for it. So going to Duncan’s is so refreshing and his family absolutely adores her so they don’t even mind. Heck, sometimes Duncan gets home and Courtney’s just chilling with his mom.

- Duncney in glasses is so CUTE. I need fanart of it asap! Courtney’s always worn them but has her contacts in almost constantly. Duncan refuses to acknowledge he needs them until the very last minute because he HATES being compared to his dad on any level. And it’s canon that his dad has glasses lmao

- Imagine Duncan sneaking into Courtney’s room like, “Sup, Babe. Check it out.” and just pulls his shirt off to show her. Meanwhile Courtney’s just sitting in her bed like how the fuck did you get into my room and why the fuck is my name on you?! Then she’s like “Awe, that’s so cute.” and Duncan’s all “I’m not cute.”

- Omfg yes! Imagine Duncan reading Courtney’s published book?! Imagine him wanting her to read whatever little mini story she has written for herself? I HC her as always writing away whenever she’s super stressed and sometimes they turn into cute little stories with an actual plot.

- Courtney loves when Duncan talks about his passions. There’s never just one, he has like a billion ideas and dreams and he never forgets to add the “And I want you along side me through it all.” She absolutely gushes about it on the inside!

- I fucking love gym Duncney! They have their own workouts but always ALWAYS scan the floor to check on each other. Whenever Courtney finds him checking her out he winks and she blushes no matter how long they’ve been together. And of course they are popping up whenever anyone comes up to the other trying to flirt. Hell no, they shut that shit down 😂

- Courtney’s had her ears pierced since she was three months old (Latinos say I) so whenever Duncan suggests more piercings she’s always like, “I already have my ears done.” So he suggests her bellybutton so much that she eventually lets him and it’s the scariest thing to hide from her parents until she moves out.

- Courtney has a little green tint to her fingertips because she’s ditched using gloves a long time ago. Duncan insists they only get in the way 🙄 So when people joke around with the, “Oh, looks like someone has a green thumb!” She looks down and is like, “Nope, just my boyfriends hair dye.”

- Courtney’s the type of person who needs complete and total silence and darkness to fall asleep. At first she’s constantly waking Duncan up or turning him the other way so she can at least fall asleep. Eventually she realizes it’s comforting because she knows he’s with her and whenever he’s at work or something she literally cannot sleep until he’s home. It’s a problem lmao

- No because the cooking one hit a little too close to home LMAO. Honestly, WHY are guys so good at cooking out of nowhere? Not fair. Anyway, yes. Courtney knows a few dishes but they never compare to her Abuela’s/Mom’s cooking. But Duncan? Oh, his Nonna practically dragged him into the kitchen to help her at such a young age that he’s a natural. That’s the one person in his life that he truly can say loves him unconditionally (besides Courtney of course).

- It literally pisses Courtney off so much at how quickly Duncan can fall asleep.

- Going to a restaurant is scary for the both of them. Not only do they have to dodge paparazzi, but there is almost always a problem. It can be the food, the people, or just something plain like the restaurant being out of the one thing both of them wanted. They’d much rather stay at home to avoid a scene lol

- Courtney WILL wait until Duncan’s knocked out to take those damn socks off.

- Goodness, YES. Duncan will never show emotion, he’s constantly with his poker face but Courtney just knows when something is up. She can tell by the tone of his voice and his body language. Then the little stud twist? Done deal. She is getting him the hell out of there and trying to calm him down.

- Duncan loves watching cartoons like family guy, American dad, etc. while Courtney just enjoys the childhood reruns like Kim Possible lmao. Sometimes Duncan will come home and catch her binge watching something cute like that.

- Before Duncney are in their mature stage of their relationship they are definitely pulling strings on each other. They get in a fight? Bet. Watch me go flirt with this girl or guy just to piss you off enough to snap. It’s toxic af but it works for them in some weird kinda way.

- Duncan absolutely hates listening and LIKING the work gossip Courtney talks about. At first he’s so annoyed and tries to change the subject but one time when Bridgette is over Courtney is telling a story and he’ll catch himself either correcting her or being like, “Don’t forget she did this too.”

- Ah Duncan. The king of never checking his monthly billing statements that would so clearly indicate he has in fact NOT paid for a date for months.

- Hm, I think duncan would lie and say he “can’t kill a lady bug because it’s so pure to the world.” or something along those lines. In reality he’s terrified.

- Hell yeah, Courtney! Tell everyone that’s YOUR man. I’m cheering her on with this one. 💅🏼

- Courtney has the GC on dnd because Geoff is always blowing it up in the middle of the night. So when she randomly checks it after a long day she’s just scrolling through like 20 pictures of herself drinking coffee or fixing her hair. Then DJ, the supportive king is always like, “Awe, those are nice.”

- Courtney teaching Duncan Spanish 🤝🏼 Duncan teaching Courtney Italian

- We all watched celebrity manhunt. Those two need their licenses suspended immediately.

- Imagine Courtney playing candy crush LMAO. She’s one of those people who are always like, “I could never get so consumed by a game like that.” Then downloads it during covid and is up ALL NIGHT and Duncan’s just like concerned 💀

- OMFG YES YES YES! Duncney’s playlist are so so different but they know each others taste and everything. If Duncan blasts some punk rock Courtney knows the chorus and even does a little air guitar when it’s time. And Duncan will never ever in a million years admit it but whenever Courtney plays her music? If he’s belting out those babies with her. And the ballads?!? Oh, it’s beautiful.

#total drama #duncney #td courtney #td duncan #total drama courtney #total drama duncan

[welcometomyprakriti]

Today i went to a social event (a birthday party) without my phone intentionally to force myself find ways to deal with anxiety, tension, nervousness and awkwardness. Here are my findings which can help you without having to use your phone to distract yourself -

- focus on the sound. It could be any sound. Maybe some music playing in the background or the sound of people gossiping in a hazy mix. Let your mind not think anything and try to find a place to sit down/stand with folded arms.

- focus on a single object, glimmer or shine of lights. Focusing yourself on one single object in a heavily dozed social place helps your mind to fight overthinking all the social interactions and people staring at you.

- try to look for people who are already doing stuff you want to do. Maybe they are just awkwardly standing, using their phone. Maybe they are just sitting alone in deep thought, or maybe there is someone at a place you might feel comfortable being there. Try to find how you can let your body fit in this social place.

- if you are probably getting too nervous, circle/walk back and forth as if you are just going from one spot to another, doing something in an attempt to trick your body to think that you are mixing with others who are already there at one spot but before getting nervous, going to another, like every other person is technically, ever so often. If not them, then it is very likely that in a social place, you will find a lot of people around every corner. That will do the trick. Go from one corner to another. Walk around. As if you are mingling with others and at the same time your body is occupied with something, hence, the tension might likely narrow down and you will find less people catching your eye or staring at you because you won't be at the same spot.

- get some water or already bring some water with you, and throughout, keep taking some sips after few intervals. This helps, many aspects at the same time -

1) relaxing your body

2) helps keeping your mind occupied

3) you trick your mind to think that you are doing a normal activity - others can't find you weird or awkward. You are only drinking water. If someone does stare at you, take another sip. Keep yourself occupied. Invest in your own activity.

4) you have something to hold in your hand if you are empty handed. With a drink, any social place would fit in and that has the potential to make you feel more comfortable. Especially that you can now literally drink water from that bottle/glass whenever you start feeling uncomfortable or nervous.

- keep your eyes glancing around the place instead of one single lane of direction. Once you keep looking around the place back and forth after a minute or so, you will likely find yourself involved rather than worried, tense or nervous. Also, that way, if someone stares at you, you can literally catch them red handed and they will have to stop with the weirdness. Look for spaces you haven't yet seen. Alternate between 5-6 of them. Study and observe rather than focusing on anything else.

- try to let your body naturally flow with the rhythm of whatever is going on in the scene. Maybe you might see a person walk by, someone shouting right past you, running or someone standing beside you. Let yourself flow with all the happenings and occupy yourself with that. That helps with nervousness a lot. Sometimes, you have to let things naturally come to you so that you can distract yourself from the anxiety after every few minutes or so. It is a social place. There is usually very much a chance you won't get bored if you will just stay normal and let your mind divert to natural things happening in the scene.

- stay around a bunch of people to stay hidden. If you feel like there is a spot where the people are most unbothered and busy with themselves - stay with them and do your thing. That feeling of connectivity goes a long way. You can also always switch spots whenever you feel like depending on your mood. Stay in the crowd to stay hidden, as the saying goes.

- study the surroundings in details. Think of it as you describing it in a book having characters. Build your own story, take the place as the starting scene and begin to discover each and every segment from scratch. What is the design? What is it made of? What does the ground appear as? Try to just - study the normal things in life we don't always notice. Trust me, it could be a lotta fun and you will discover stuff you haven't even thought of.

These are some of the ways i tried to survive a birthday party today without any electronic device. I left my phone at home and did all this. Surprisingly, it went good.

I hope these little things will help you as well - without having to use your phone.

#anxiety tips #writers on tumblr #spilled thoughts #tumblr #writeblr #blog post #blogging #female writers #my writing #experience #feelings #relatable #social anxiety #introvert

[waitmyturtles]

Whew, WOW, OKAY. OOOHHHHKAY. THAT was a HELL of a ride. Double Savage, episodes 3 and 4 (but mostly 4). Long post coming. (Dang it. I did NOT KNOW THIS SHOW was gonna do me like this, meta-wise!)

[The alternate title of this episode should be, “SEE DAD? SEE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU ABUSE US?” (Just like that, in all caps, ha.)]

The reason why I say “us” in my proposed alternate title is because I realize that I haven’t addressed something in my previous write-ups about Double Savage -- namely, the psychological abuse that Korn and Win’s dad is committing towards the rest of his family, besides Korn.

We start episode 4 with a two-year jump, and dad Beng is as happy as a clam... with only one of his three children. He tells Win, “you’re the only child that I’m proud of.” Big sister Li stands next to her mother, clearly gritting her teeth, while Mom and Li clearly also think of Korn, who’s now been lost to them for a while. 

And we get the looped conclusion of the first episode, when the three siblings meet in the abandoned warehouse, with Li revealing to Win where Korn has been hiding. So we know that Li has been visiting Korn since the first time she broke into the warehouse.

Meaning: the sibling unit still exists, for now. But, the father has revealed something by what he says to Win. He DEMANDS of his family that they buy into his vision for a Korn-less existence, regardless of what it means to ANYONE around him. AND, he ALSO demands that they believe in his OTHER fallacies -- such as Win being the only child worth investing in. We can also acknowledge now that this family has been living without Korn for two years already -- and that’s certainly had to have tremendous psychological impacts on Li and the mom, and especially on Win, as he continues to grow into adulthood. Finally, we don’t know why Li is still living with her folks, if she’s dating, if she’ll get married, etc.

...or maybe we DO know why she’s still around. 

What is this vision that dad Beng has created for his family? That Korn shouldn’t exist, that he shouldn’t be around. That THE FATHER IS the patriarch.* That their unit will ALWAYS be led with his leadership. (We haven’t seen the mother confront the father, either yet or at all.) We see Li helping with the store, usually by her mother’s side. 

In other words, this family is led by fear first. It’s highly likely that Li has been raised with enough fear to feel very uncomfortable about even leaving the household, let alone seeking out her own independent life. AND, also highly likely -- her father has likely “let her know,” that as a woman, she probably can’t step out and achieve anything on her own.

Just a guess there, but I think we can take educated guesses with such an unbelievably harsh and abusive patriarch. 

(My *star up above indicates that there may be underlying commentary about Thai-Chinese patriarchal references that I may not be catching. We can hear “Hia” being thrown about all over the place, so, like Moonlight Chicken, we know that we’re dealing with a majority Thai-Chinese cultural background and read on the script. I wish I knew more about this slice of Thai culture. My own read on this patriarchal structure is coming from a more generalist Asian perspective.)

Anyway -- I haven’t even gotten to the meat of the episode yet, which is that we continue to see the disastrous and tremendous fall-out of the society and world around Korn, and the impacts of the choices he’s made since leaving his family house. 

First off, quickly: we see promises being broken. (Promises had already been broken all along, right? Shouldn’t parents love their children?) Win is going to break his promise to Korn because Win wants to be with Rung. Win gives Korn the heads-up -- and Korn accepts it. And Korn lifts Win on his back. Even though it’s LOVE THAT KORN HAS FOR HIS BROTHER -- that’s a weight on Korn’s back. Win will get the love that Korn has in Rung.

Win, then -- surprisingly to me -- asks Rung’s *parents* for *permission* to date Rung. In front of both families. My man, Win -- where’s the ring? Ha. I mean. Again, I may be missing something by way of a Thai-Chinese cultural read. But homey might have well asked for the horoscopes to set a wedding date. You really don’t do that until you’re ready to chat marriage. We see arranged marriages being a COMMON topic in Thai shows. And maybe -- that’s what Win wanted to get out of it? I’m not sure there.

Which is why, I think, we see Rung so pissed. Rung represents breaks from tradition. Remember what she said in episode 2, about her family not believing in superstitions around families and children? That they hold people back? Rung is a rebel. To be asked for her hand in dating, in front of her folks, without Win checking in with her in advance? She’s pissed. She knows exactly what this means. Someone else is doing her love work for her, and that is NOT going to fly with her.

Now, on the other hand, I DO WISH, dear Rung, I DO WISH you’d think a little before making rash decisions, ha. But. I can also understand why you hopped into Korn’s truck. You’re in love with Korn, and you haven’t seen him for two years.

You haven’t seen him for two years because his father drove him out of the family house. He had to leave school, leave you, and leave his beloved younger brother. Rung, therefore, has also experienced the trauma that Korn’s dad leveled to everyone around him. 

And now we get the coalescence of how this show becomes not just family trauma-driven, but community trauma-driven. When Rung opens the door of that truck and enters the world that Korn lives in now, she becomes a part of Korn’s continued traumatic life. And gets caught by the narcs, and gets blamed for the drug smuggling.

And we know that Hia Ah orchestrated her arrest. Because -- he’s the guy who ultimately knows how the world really works. He values his business and his money. Sure, he gives money to people around him. But he’s always needing a convenient fall person, and realizes that Rung is a good obstacle to use to avoid trouble. So he convinces the police -- somehow, someway, we don’t know yet the hows and whys -- to only catch Rung, and not arrest Korn. 

And the next thing we see in the preview is that Rung will now also become a runaway fugitive.

LITERALLY NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF KORN’S DAD LOVED AND PROTECTED KORN. LITERALLY.

I mean. What a resounding commentary on family and community trauma and abuse. And for Ah to have orchestrated Korn’s escape from arrest from within police ranks. It has King of New York written all over it, right? Shouldn’t the police also protect us? Instead, the police narced on THE WRONG SUSPECT, KNOWINGLY.

This show is now holding a TREMENDOUS amount of commentary on society and abuse, maybe a little messily, kind of like the early episodes of (omg, I can’t believe I’m writing this in a Double Savage review) Bed Friend. There’s a hell of a lot of trauma going on. We want Rung to please make wiser decisions. But, BUT: I have to remember that she’s now also suffered trauma vis à vis Korn’s dad, too, so she’s not entirely to be blamed for her decisions. 

And unfortunately, we’ll likely see the cookie continue to crumble next week, when Win confronts Korn. Remember: it’s not Korn’s fault that he escaped arrest. But, Win and Rung will need a fall guy. Korn’s dad needed a fall guy. Korn has always been that fall guy. And he damn well knows it. He knows that’s been his role in his life so far, so why would it not continue?

Ah -- wildly, Ah -- is actually changing that paradigm for Korn to an extent, by having Korn avoid arrest. I want to see where that goes. I LOVE the messing up of this paradigm. Because while Ah is the true criminal -- he’s also the biggest truth-holder here, and I want to know how that gets unwound as more truths come out. How did it end up in Korn’s life that Ah is protecting him, while Korn’s dad is not? HOW? How could that possibly happen in a human’s life? 

It happens all the time in trauma-impacted families and communities.

WOW. UM! Kinda wish someone told me that this shit was gonna get THIS DEEP! (Reminds me of how Bed Friend punked us with those early previews. Did I bring up Bed Friend again? Oh good lord.) Just like in 10 Years Ticket, Ohm is carrying a trauma-filled storyline and Ohm/Perth/Film are destroying it together. This is a great show so far. Maybe because of Bed Friend, I have more trust in these shows holding all this trauma and making a success out of it. Fingers crossed.

#double savage #double savage meta #korn x rung #rung x korn #ohmperth #ohm pawat #film rachanun #perth tanapon