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kitkatsudon · 4 months

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KitKat reads the TKEM Novel: Chapter 2

That night, a broken flute

So. Chapter 2. If you haven’t guessed already by the title of this chapter, it covers the topic of that fateful night back in 1994, when Lee Lim kills Lee Ho, little Gon comes in, gets traumatised, they both leave with half of the Manpasikjeok, etc etc. That’s kind of… the first half of this chapter? The whole chapter is definitely affected by this, but after this there are two more scenes in this chapter: one where Gon is looking at Taeeul’s ID card in his Alice in Wonderland book (notably skipping over “Are you having fun, Captain Jo?” and that subsequent conversation between Gon and Yeong which is one of my personal favourite scenes, but anyway. They do reference it, but it’s not the same), and then the scene where Gon is at the stables, he hears the sound of the flute, and he runs away on Maximus and goes into the portal.

My first thought? Not enough Yeong. Again. For real this time. Yeong has one line of dialogue, and that’s just a radio call to Hopil and the others to chase after Gon, there’s no new insights about Yeong in this chapter, absolutely nothing. And I know, I know that I can’t really judge a chapter like this on its Yeong content when none of these scenes contained Yeong in the first place, but like… they could have included that conversation between Gon and Yeong in Gon’s study? Instead, the allusion to it we get is this:

Why didn’t ‘he’ who saved him come back? Wasn’t it worth coming to see him at least once?

Yeong said that he didn’t come because Gon had grown up so well that he didn’t need anyone’s help, but Gon wanted to ask, ‘didn’t he want to come and see how well he had grown up?’

There it is, folks! That’s all we’re getting! And look… it’s easy enough to tell from the scene in the show that Gon isn’t really satisfied with Yeong’s answer, but a part of me does feel disappointed that this heartfelt conversation between those two in the first episode was boiled down to this in the book. None of the tenderness, none of the warmth, just “idc yeongie i still want to see my saviour :/.” And then… hoo boy. I can already tell that this book is going to test my patience as someone who is not particularly a taegon enjoyer, because a few paragraphs down we get this absolute gem.

The government ID in his hand was the only trace he had left behind, and it was a question. Every day, Gon would ask the woman on the card, ‘Do you know why he saved me? Why I survived?’ Thanks to this, the woman had become a habit for him. After twenty-five years, she was more familiar than anyone else. For Gon, it was comforting. Before he knew it, she had become the reason he was alive.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, whAT?! The reason he was alive? His reason for living?? More familiar than anyone else????? Bestie… she is a piece of plastic!!! As far as you know right now!!!!! If this is your reason for living… Gon, blink twice if you need to see a therapist. Oh, wait, hang on, this reminds me of another passage in this chapter…

Was he really dead? Suddenly, he felt a surge of doubt.

Maybe it was because that night, twenty-five years ago, was still so vivid. The stickiness of stepping through the blood of innocents, the smell of blood that stung his nostrils. The pain of the strangulation, the thinning of his breath. The sight of his father’s lifeless body in front of him. The underlying dread, the fear. The emotions were as sharp as the sensations.

However, now that Gon was the king, they were emotions he couldn’t show anyone. Walking slowly to his desk, Gon composed himself as he sat down. The good news was that he wasn’t weak enough to be consumed by the memories of that day.

Oh, well, that’s ok then! Don’t worry everyone! Gon is fine, actually! Sure, he still has very vivid memories of that awful night, he still hates people touching his body, he can’t wear a tie without getting flashbacks to that night, he doesn’t feel like he can share this with anyone because of his status as the king, but don’t worry! He’s not so weak that he’s super affected by this or anything, that would be totally cringe.

Gon, I’m going to say this once again, blink twice if you need to see a therapist. Because this… my god. That’s an unhealthy thought pattern if I’ve ever heard one. I think the show wants the solution to this to be “gon is fine enough to be a great boyfriend, but if he ever does need to talk to anyone, this will only ever be taeeul because he the king to her.” What I’m hearing, however, is “gon needs to trust his loved ones, and learn to be comfortable with the fact that he’s both the king and a person, and he needs to be comfortable with communicating with people like yeong and lady noh and prince buyeong who have loved him for a very long time and want gon the person to be alright.” Like… surely the message here isn’t just that Gon can never ever trust anyone from the Kingdom with his emotions, right? Where’s the growth there? Finding someone from another universe is the most convoluted loophole in this situation, when he could just like… talk to his best friend? Even if that’s hard for him, growth is hard! But it’s important!

But *ahem* anyway, sorry, this is meant to be about the novel, not my wider thoughts about the show in general…

You might be wondering, hey KitKat, you said that this chapter was half about the night of the treason, so why haven’t you spoken about that? And that… is because I don’t really have that much to say? It’s mostly just an action sequence, there aren’t really any character moments that made me like !!!!, like the other parts did. The main detail is that it really hammers in the detail that Lee Lim feels unfairly treated because of the nature of his birth. He’s jealous of his brother and his nephew for being born into a life where they never really had to struggle.

Actually, you know what? I am going to share this paragraph, purely so I can go on another side tangent.

Prince Imperial Geum. Lee Lim was crowned Prince Imperial Geum at the age of thirteen. He was the firstborn son, but his mother died before she could become queen, and she was posthumously declared a noblewoman. So, his younger brother, who knew nothing and was only good, became the king.

Now, let’s do some maths, shall we? Both Lee Lim and Lee Ho have confirmed dates of birth in the show. Lee Lim was born on 27th February 1951, and Lee Ho was born on 23rd October 1952. (Another fun fact is that Gon’s mother was born on 8th August 1965, so when Gon was born on 28th October 1987, his mother was 22 and his dad was 35, and I know that age gap relationships can be perfectly consensual and loving but man… I can’t deny that something there feels a little bit icky… but anyway.) Assuming neither Lee Ho nor Lee Lim were born prematurely, this implies that Lee Lim was conceived in May 1950, and Lee Ho was conceived in January 1952. If their father, King Haejong, was doing everything by the book, if Lee Lim’s mother was his official partner, and the earliest that she died was 27th February 1951, this means that King Haejong moved on from this love of his life to get to the baby-making stage with Lee Ho’s mother in less than a year. It’s… plausible? But if Lee Ho was legitimate, then King Haejong and his new partner had to be married somewhere between February 1951 and October 1952, and it would have had to have been a big royal wedding with a lot of planning, and… mmmMH I don’t want to make any conclusions, because there are a few explanations for this quick timeline and it’s much more fun if this is left up to individual interpretation, but what I am pretty sure on is that this situation with King Haejong and his lovers wasn’t as simple as “:( lee lim’s poor mother died before she could be made the queen.” It’s giving… less tragic, more scandal, somewhere on this timeline. Either way, I am narrowing my eyes at you, King Haejong.

Mmmh… anything else? Maybe this:

In the Cheonjongo scene, Yoo Gyeongmu, Lee Lim’s second in command, says to him that they need to leave because the “Golden Army” is coming. In the official English subs on Netflix, this is just translated as Royal Guard, BUT it’s definitely a different word. Royal Guard, in the book, has always been 근위대, but Yoo Gyeongmu specifically refers to a certain 금군, and this had specific Hanja next to it in the book, so it must be a thing. What is this Golden Army? Will it be referenced again, other than in this scene? It’s not a code name, little Gon also thinks to himself that his saviour is leaving because the Golden Army is on their way. Is it a specific task force within the Royal Guard? If so, what do they do?? I have a horrible suspicion that we’ll never know.

Oh, and one more thing before I bullet point exactly what we’ve learnt from this chapter.

It was said that the prince was a prodigy, a genius who could read, write, and do mathematics at an early age.

*quietly adds ‘hyperlexia’ next to ‘savant mathematical abilities’ onto my imaginary list of evidence of gon being autistic*

That post will come eventually. But not for a while.

So!! What have we learnt in chapter two?

Somewhere on the palace grounds, vaguely near Cheonjongo, is a gingko tree!

Where Lee Lim was described as being bold and cruel, Lee Ho was described as having a “cool temperament that could be considered weak.” Even if Lee Ho isn’t in my good books for getting a 21 year old pregnant when he was 34, that still feels kind of mean.

Cheonjongo was home to “various treasures, from crowns to cash, ceramics to swords, treasures handed down from generation to generation.”

The current Captain of the Royal Guard died that night, stepping in front of Lee Ho.

The Netflix subs miss out Lee Ho saying something that roughly translates to “What the heck?!” before he asks “Brother, what do you think you’re doing?” which is something that I wish they’d kept in.

When Lee Lim killed his brother, he was happy to prove that Lee Ho was weaker than him.

Gon was commended as a little genius, and this is the only measure by which Lee Lim thinks he might be better than his father. That doesn’t change the fact that Lee Lim still has to kill him, though.

Even in that horrible moment, and despite Gon being seven years old internationally, he was actively thinking about strategy, wanting to strike Lee Lim with the Four Tiger Sword while he was laughing, because it was a moment of weakness.

Lee Lim got his royal title when he was thirteen, Korean age, so presumably he was 11/12 years old internationally.

The first time little Gon heard the flute music was when his saviour came for him, not before, which begs the question as to why he went to Cheonjongo that night in the first place. Maybe because his dad wanted to show him the Manpasikjeok?

This “Golden Army” section of the Royal Guard existed, at least in 1994. Maybe it still does in the present. Maybe it doesn’t. That remains to be seen.

The official story was that Royal Guards shot Lee Lim dead on the beach, not that he was found washed up dead like I assumed in the show. Maybe this was just a detail in the show that I forgot about, but I’m including it here because it confused me at first.

Lee Lim’s “death” had always seemed futile and meaningless to Gon.

Apparently, according to Gon, all the fear, grief, and hurt has already faded away from that night with time, and the only thing he still has is the question of why his saviour hasn’t come back for him. Apparently.

Please imagine a strained voice for this next point: Jeong Taeeul’s ID card became Gon’s reason for living. *sigh.*

This is something I’d noticed before, but this whole scene where he looks at the ID card in his book, and everything in the show immediately preceding it that the book cut - this all happens on 10th September 2019. Is there a significance to this date? YES! THERE IS! IT’S YEONG’S BIRTHDAY! THEY CUT OUT YEONG’S SCENE ON HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

The Royal Guard was on high alert after the shooting at the rowing competition, and yet Gon still managed to escape? He’s quite impressive.

The main reason Gon was suspicious that Lee Lim wasn’t dead, despite them having a corpse, was because Lee Lim risked everything to get the Manpasikjeok, but his half wasn’t found on this corpse. This is what Gon is thinking about as he’s looking at the portal for the first time.

As Gon is riding through the place in between, in the portal dimension, he’s thinking of the passage of Alice in Wonderland that he read to the children a few days ago, of Alice following the clock rabbit into the rabbit hole, and then falling further and further down.

And that’s it! I’m… actually surprised at how long this ended up being, because I definitely found the first chapter a lot more entertaining than this one. Though to be honest, that was mostly the shameless Gon worshipping. There was definitely some of that this chapter, but not at all to the same extent. Next time… I haven’t really looked very hard at the next chapter, but I think it’s going to cover Taeeul and Gon’s first meeting, from their very first interaction to Gon’s time in the police station. And now I say that, I’m suddenly realising that I’m quite excited to find out what Gon is thinking when he sees Eunseob for the first time. But not too excited. I don’t think it’s wise to have expectations that are too high with this book.

Final thoughts? Underwhelming. I know this book can’t deviate much from the show, but I was disappointed with how little extra information we learnt about Lee Lim in the Cheonjongo scene. Does he really just want *gestures vaguely* power? Is it really just because he feels it’s unfair that he wasn’t born to be the king? Come on, where’s the flavour? Does he want to be more powerful than God because he just wants power? Does he want to rule Corea? Does he want to rule the world? The multiverse??? What is his endgame here??? He gets the Manpasikjeok, then what??? I was hoping that the book would give us some more insight, but it absolutely has not done that so far. Ah well. I suppose it’s only Chapter 2. There’s still time.

Other than that, my main takeaway is that Lee Gon is taking a long, long swim in a certain river in Egypt in regards to how he’s Totally Fine And Ok after the night of the treason. Did he ever get therapy after that night? If so, his therapist didn’t do a very good job if he still thinks that he can’t tell his loved ones about his “weak” feelings because he’s the king. If he didn’t get therapy, then I want to have serious words with whoever looked at this child who just saw his father murdered and almost got murdered himself, and decided “yeah, he’ll probably be ok.”

But of course, he’s fine! It’s below the king to have these so-called “mental health struggles.”

#kitkat reads the tkem novel #tkem #lee gon #lee lim #I can’t believe they snubbed Yeong on his birthday #actually I very much can believe it #that feels very right for this show #I don’t think I have that much more to say #other than that gon being a gifted kid who could read and do maths at a very early age #but is now trying to convince himself that he’s totally perfectly fine and he can’t tell his loved ones about his problems #gon baby… so many people on this here internet can tell you that this is a slippery slope

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braindeadmaggot · 2 years

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For the sfw ship ask game... ZoSan please? (the nsfw is fine too if you want to do both or either)

I'll do both

SFW version (specify for which version you send the ship

1. Who is the grumpiest in the morning

ZORO - He wakes up around 10am so anything earlier than that is just a pain in the ass [can relate]

2. Who worries more when the other is sick/hurt

SANJI - he worries about everyone but especially so with Zoro, he doesn’t like to show it because Zoro gets mad about being coddled so Sanji does his best to take care of him silently without being too bothersome, usually just leaving his favorite meals in little tupperware in the fridge for when Zoro’s built an appetite or leaves medicine and water on Zoro’s nightstand for when he wakes up in the middle of the night. This is their love language.

3. Who plays pranks on the other

SANJI - fueled more so by Usopp, Zoro acts like he minds but he has fun with it too. Especially since only 14% of Sanji’s pranks actually work lol

4. Who is always the first to suggest cuddling on the sofa

ZORO - They usually cuddle without any engagement, they just sit together and it flows into a cuddle naturally, but on days where Sanji is hyper-stressed and panicky, Zoro will drag him over to sit and hug out his frustrations

5. Who insists on creating nicknames for the other

SANJI - Sanji insists on pet names and Zoro insists on calling him adulterated versions like booby/boob instead of baby/babe, dartboard instead of darling, shitty instead of sweetie, horny instead of honey, etc etc. Sanji hates it but sometimes he likes it cuz at least the dumbass is doing SOMETHING amirite?

6. Who says ‘I love you’ first

ZORO - during a particularly dull day when they’re just hanging out and yeah maybe it’s kinda boring and Sanji doesn’t look particularly happy but still very relaxed, Zoro looks over at him and feels all the content and peace he could ever hope for and just says it out loud. The abruptness of it all shocks Sanji but he absolutely swoons. Nothing makes him happier than knowing that Zoro said it first

7. Who’s the messiest one

ZORO - ”It’s called organized chaos, cook. Do not touch my stuff”

8. Who feels the most uncomfortable about PDA

SANJI - he’ll flirt in public, he’ll fight in public, but holding hands and kissing his man for all to see makes his heart flutter and his breath catch and he’s so bashful he freezes in a panic. If Sanji is going to kiss or touch Zoro in any way, he’s gonna go all the way. Can’t do that in public

9. Who’s the funniest drunk

SANJI - He thinks he can dance when he’s drunk and proves himself wrong every time

10. Who texts the most

BOTH - Sanji likes to text sweet nothings, Zoro likes to send memes

11. Who has the most embarrassing taste in music

NEITHER - okay maybe Zoro, but that’s only because Perona added a bunch of music to his phone without his permission that one time. Also, he likes Nickelback. I like Nickelback. Fuck you all, we don’t need your approval

12. Who reads the most

BOTH - Sanji reads biographical cookbooks, and travel and food blogs. Zoro reads motorcycle magazines and reddit. I read fanfiction, not that anyone asked lol

13. Who’s better with kids

ZORO - he has the patience for it and always instills discipline in naughty brats. Sanji has no patience for kids, is always ready to bro down with a 3rd grader, and will tell dirty jokes and trip them while they walk. Sanji is a prick but he would make a good dad. That is until their kids become teenagers.

14. Who’s the one that fixes things around the house

ZORO - Zoro can fix a leaky faucet, realign gutters and Spackle a wall. He may not be able to build anything like Franky but minor repairs are easy. He can however rebuild a car engine.

15. Who cooks and who cleans up

BOTH - Sanji may be the chef in the relationship but his job can be taxing so Zoro takes charge in the kitchen every once in a while. During their first month together, Sanji came home really late to find Zoro had made stew and was impressed by how good it was. “I can make this much, ya know. It’s just meat and veg in a pot; what’s difficult?” Zoro has always been able to cook basic meals and Sanji loves it when he’s being taken care of. Chores are done when they are noticed; whoever is available does it. It’s an unspoken agreement they have. You see something, you have free time; just do it.

#this is my longest one yet #I have many ZoSan opinions #BrainDeadAnswers #anon #ZoSan #ship meme #op headcanons #op ship meme

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thebeautyoffanfics · 3 years

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hello!! May i request tsuchigomori, akane and teru with a s/o whos an exorcist which uses their blood to use their abilities to the fullest??

Thamk you in advance !!

tsuchigomori x gn!reader, akane aoi x gn!reader, teru minamoto x gn!reader

a/n: of course!! I doubt this is what you had in mind, but the first thing i thought of when reading this is Beyond the Boundary (in particular, the character Mirai)! Which is a series I hold very near and dear to my heart <33 that being said, I’m writing this as if the reader is that similar to Mirai <33 if it’s not what you had in mind, it’s a funny little coincidence, and I hope you like it!! Anyway, thank you so much for requesting!!!

warnings: blood/anemia mention

word count: Collectively, 1,404

Tsuchigomori <3

He’s impressed- though he only shows it mildly. He’s never had much worry about being exorcised, so when he finds out that you’re 1) and exorcist and 2) use your blood to do your job, he simply raises his eyebrows a bit, muttering an “oh really?”

I feel like he takes relationships really seriously, and is probably friends with you for a while before considering himself ready for a relationship. Whether it’s before or after establishing a relationship, he makes sure that he trusts you very dearly before letting you know he’s a supernatural.

He definitely trusts you not to exorcise him- in fact, he’ll joke about how your ‘little abilities’ are amateurish, but at least they’re cute. He’ll back that up by saying “hey, if I had to fight, at least it wouldn’t make me anemic.”

However, despite joking about anemia, he genuinely does find himself worrying for your health. If you’ve been working hard and show up looking sickly, he’s sitting you down and scolding you as he goes to figure out how exactly he should help an anemic person.

Tsuchigomori makes sure that you eat iron-rich foods often. Buys you cereals, dried fruits, etc. He also buys you iron pills- while he’s not exactly supportive of exorcising just any supernatural, as long as you’re limiting it to those that cause harm, he puts your health first. Heck, even if you exorcised a few harmless ones, he’d probably want to make sure you’re in your best condition.

The best part, is how casually he cares for you- he genuinely will be ushering you to go to bed earlier so that you can heal up a bit with the same face he gives you when he tells you he’s off to work.

Should you tease him for worrying so much, he simply stands up and leaves. He’s just messing with you of course, but as long as you don’t stop him, he will genuinely go into a different room. Just call for him, and he’ll be turning around, a hand on his hip as he tells you it’s his job to care for you.

“I’ve had to doctor you more than I have my students, (Y/N). Honestly, please learn your limits before I start making an actual doctor see you. Hey- stop spacing out. I promise you, if you pass out I’ll leave you on the floor.”

“You’re so meannnn,”

“Am I now? That’s too bad.”

Akane Aoi <3

Seeing as he’s on the student council with Prince Know-It-All, he probably knew you were an exorcist before entering a relationship with you. It doesn’t bother him though- it’s not like he’s fully supernatural anyway. Plus, supernaturals can really be pains- he dislikes them, and won’t hesitate to let you know that once the two of you have established that you’re both “not normal” in a seeing-supernaturals sort of way.

You and Akane are probably friends for a while before dating, but he doesn’t outright tell you he’s part supernatural until he’s comfortable establishing a relationship. He probably planned to make it a part of a confession, but you actually found out by complete accident- spotting him in his supernatural form as you were busy trying to find a particularly annoying supernatural.

“Hey, Akane, have you seen a- wait- Akane???”

“(Y/N)???”

Both of you were fairly concerned. You were seeing your friend and crush looking very different (to say the least. To say the most, he was looking fabulous as heck, and, quite frankly, hot.) And Akane was seeing his friend and crush wielding some sort of… bloody weapon? You rushed to exorcise the pest, but, the moment the creature was gone, you caught up with Akane. While you weren’t sure what to expect from him, you weren’t too surprised when the boy ran up to you as well. Plenty of questions were asked, but it was cleared up before too terribly long!

What you weren’t expecting, was for Akane to ask you out not long after that, but that’s a completely different story-

The only thing that bothers him about your abilities is that you were using your blood to assist in exorcisms. He definitely worries like crazy whenever he knows you’re out getting rid of harmful supernaturals. Heck, he even offers to assist you multiple times, sometimes not accepting no as an answer. The thought of his precious s/o out there not only fighting monsters, but risking anemia while doing to was too much for his heart to handle.

He can’t help but feel a bit uneasy when he sees your blood. Akane really, really doesn’t want you to get hurt. The moment he notices you getting pale or dizzy, he’s taking over completely, making you stand back. The moment it’s taken care of, he’s carrying you to a safer place and making sure that you’re going to be alright.

He realizes that his protectiveness is probably a bit overbearing, seeing as he’s sure you’re somewhat aware of how to take care of yourself, but he genuinely can’t help his concern. Akane cares about you so dearly- he couldn’t live with himself if, for some reason, a supernatural managed to slip you up. If you tried to push yourself just a little bit further, what would happen? Nope, no way. Not risking it. Sorry, (Y/N), you’ve got yourself a fairly protective one-

Teru Minamoto <3

Teru, my man- he probably managed to already know that you’re an exorcist. I’m not entirely sure how, but he just… gives off those know-it-all vibes, you know? Teru somehow knows everything about everyone, and that’s simply how it is. One thing he didn’t know though, was how you exorcised supernaturals, but we’re going to get there eventually.

Teru was, honestly, a bit relieved to know another exorcist. Seeing supernaturals was overwhelming at times, so having someone that understood how he felt was rather nice. Therefore, Teru gladly welcomed you, and soon began to consider you a friend.

He still finds himself laughing over the way the two of you realized the other was an exorcist as well- you were still fairly new to the school, having only been there for around a month, and were walking through the halls with Teru. You had glanced over at just the right time- getting a glance into the girls’ bathroom as a few girls were exiting. You felt your face drop, a tinge of both annoyance and disbelief filling you.

“Are you alright, (Y/N)?”

“Fine, other than no one told me that even the bathroom would have a- wait- nevermind, it’s nothing, there’s just something up with the girls’ bathroom.”

“Oh, the supernatural in there? He’s a pain, but we can’t exorcise him. I told my brother I wouldn’t.”

“Ah… wait-”

As it clicked for you, Teru had begun to laugh, and continued to laugh as you asked him multiple questions. After he caught his breath a bit, he explained that he was aware that you were an exorcist, and that he was as well- in fact, he and his brother came from a long line of exorcists. You found yourself growing a bit more comfortable around Teru after that, now aware that you weren’t alone in such a strange world. In fact, you’re somewhat sure that the entire encounter is one of the reasons you fell so hard for Teru-

Once Teru showed you how he got rid of supernaturals, you showed him how you did as well. He was honestly impressed, telling you how he hadn’t seen anyone do it that way before. Teru will ask you plenty of questions, including whether or not it puts you at risk for anemia. After realizing that it does, Teru will definitely worry a bit, but he does his best to trust you.

Especially after the two of you start dating, Teru finds himself wanting to assist you when you work. He’ll say that it’s because you’re his darling s/o and he simply cares about you, but it’s a bit more than that- Teru doesn’t want to even risk the chances that you get hurt by a supernatural or your abilities.

Very prepared as well! He can’t cook, but he does make sure that Kou makes iron-rich foods whenever you eat at their home. He also carried around iron supplements, and will not hesitate to carry you away from a supernatural if he feels like you’re pushing yourself too far.

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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Demon Brothers as Roommates

Intro:

So, the MC has left the Devildom and, of course, everybody is quite sad… But this time around, they have a little trick up their sleeve. With just a bit of magic (and training thanks to Solomon) the MC can now summon one of their favorite demon boys up to the human world with them! There's just, uh, one problem though… After being summoned to their side, their beloved demon now refuses to leave it.

Alright MC, enjoy your new demonic roommate!!

Lucifer

Apparently Lucifer is on sabbatical… And yes, he does appreciate that irony in that.

Lucifer actually has a surprising amount of human world money stashed away in alias accounts (because this man renting a cheap motel on business trips? Let's be real) so he uses that wealth to get them a place befitting his standards… which are high.

Spacious apartments in nice areas that would make even the upper middle-class shit their pants? Congrats, MC, that's where you're staying now!

Even with all that money, though, Lucifer CANNOT sit idle for a second. The guy is used to working all his life and just sitting around would drive him insane!

Expect him to still be running some Devildom affairs long-distance style while doing something else on the side, probably stock market stuff tbh.

Is going to want to pay for and provide everything himself but will respect the MC if they still want to work and split the bills (not to a ridiculous degree, though, like half-and-half because that would mean getting three jobs at least).

A lot of trips and vacations too, especially if the MC likes to travel. It’s a good excuse to relax while also technically doing something so he doesn’t lose his mind doing nothing in particular.

He is going to be that strict roommate who expects you not to be a slob and isn't afraid to say so. Regularly scheduled cleaning/organization days are mandatory because hygiene is important. Take some pride in yourself and wash up, MC. That kind of thing.

Also going to have short-fuse for… antics. If you want to prank him, do so at your own risk because he may prank back (and that’s not nearly as fun as it sounds, trust me.)

Mammon

Yeah so, living with Mammon is like the inverse of Lucifer. Prepare to be poooor.

Man has no human money, are you kidding me? Even if he did, he wouldn’t keep it for very long. Couples budgeting is a MUST if you’re looking to survive.

The apartment is going to be whatever the MC can more or less afford on their own with Mammon shoved in somewhere like a cheap lamp… Don’t expect a lot of room.

However, Mammon is great at the hustle. Man can work multiple jobs and actually be pretty dang good at them. For the most part, anyway. He may occasionally trip up and get himself fired, but he bounces back quick.

If the MC isn’t so moral he can also uh… “find” some extra money lying around too. Just be careful when playing with fire, right?

Even if they’re poor as shit, Mammon is still a blast to be around. The guy knows how to have fun on and off of a budget. Lots of “window shopping” (getting kicked out of stores for goofing off), nightclubs, amusement parks, and cheap fun. They’ll never be without a story to tell or a smile on their face!

He IS pretty slobbish though. He’s not going to remember to clean up after himself unless told, but he’s also not going to be bothered if they don’t do the same thing. A weekly cleaning day is going to be ideal unless they don’t mind living in a pigsty...

Prank waaaaars!! The kind of guy to get them both water guns and have a war in the middle of the apartment complex. Good luck getting any rest with Mammon around.

Leviathan

Whelp, your room is now his room, quite literally MC. You had to pick the shut-in…

The guy isn’t exactly poor but what human money he does have is all wrapped up in his many interests… Merch interests specifically.

Thankfully, he won’t take up too much space. Put him in a room with a desk, bed (or bathtub), TV, and computer and he’s good to go!

He’s not going to be a complete bum, thankfully. There’s no way that they can get him to leave the apartment, but he can run small online stores (usually anime themed) or become a streamer. Probably enough to help pay the bills, but not much more.

If they don’t mind having a literally permanent housemate, then being with Levi has its own kind fun. Lots of anime marathons, movie nights, and game nights. Really, it’s just like how he was in the House, but now transported to the human world.

Is probably going to want a pet goldfish, snake ,or lizard so prepare to house Henry 3.0.

When he does leave the apartment, it’s to take the MC to conventions, concerts, or anime stores. He always manages to get just enough money for these trips, but never says where the money comes from… Best not to ask. Could be black market for they know...

… He’s a shut-in. He’s a shut-in roommate. Hygiene isn’t exactly his main concern. If they ask him to, he’ll make sure to clean up after himself, but he may need a reminder.

Can have a fun side, but just don’t mess with his stuff too much. He doesn’t need a Mammon 2.0 around too...

Satan

He's either hatching a plan for world domination or adopting 10 cats… One or the other.

About as poor as Mammon at first, but threat not. He won’t be for very long. Satan is intelligent beyond his years (or equivalent his years maybe?) so he’ll probably net himself several degrees within a couple semesters like a certified prodigy.

At that point, there really isn’t much to worry about (aside from student loans, join our pain Satan) but he can sell himself just fine and probably get some high paying job like a lawyer or doctor or whatever… I’m not jealous…

They’ll start out in a pretty modest place, but there will be upgrades fairly quickly when he starts racking it in so Satan’s a fairly decent choice as a roommate.

He does still have that nasty habit of breaking things when he’s pissed off, but that can be subverted by getting a pet! Just hold up whatever cat you own when he’s about to rampage then declare that he’s scaring/upsetting them and he’ll stop in his tracks. Works every time!

Probably going to be the most domestic out of the brothers. He enjoys cooking (and ain’t half bad at it either), shopping is a practical necessity, he’ll take care your pets like they were his own flesh and blood, etc.

There will even to be points where he’s in bed reading in the middle of the night with tea and reading glasses like some kind of grandma so take that image for what you will.

Satan is the prankster of the household, but he does his pranks more as a way to give grief to his enemies rather than for funsies. Be warned, if you poke this bear he will retaliate for sweet, sweet revenge and he has centuries worth of pranks behind him. Good luck.

Asmodeus

It's a new party every night, sweetie, get used to it!

Asmo is the only other brother who has some amount of money to offer from his own trips to the human world, but it's just a modest amount.

Is totally willing to work to help pay for a nice place. He wants a building nice enough to host parties!

Would go back to modeling and maybe dip his toe into acting from time to time… He gets a lot of gigs (this IS the Avatar of Lust after all) so they won't be strapped for cash. Which is good, because Asmo is a very "business by day, but party every night" kind of person.

Do know that his shopping is NOT going to slow down either. Keep an eye on the budget.

He’s also going to make friends wherever he goes so he’s going to want for them all to hang out at least somewhat regularly.

That being said, he can tone it down some if the MC so desires, just know that they can’t keep him cooped up in the apartment for too long or he’ll start getting antsy. You can’t keep this stallion locked up, MC, he needs to run free!!

Being with Asmo is going to be like having a free pass to whatever gathering the MC wants to go to, at least. He could even get them into red carpet events with just his sheer charisma, charm, and er-… “charms.” Who doesn’t want to meet their favorite actress or singer, eh?

But oh, sweetie, please don’t prank him! Life is too short to waste on silly games (he also just genuinely just doesn’t enjoy being messed with so best not do it).

Beelzebub

Brave choice, MC, but quick question. How in the world are you going to pay your food bills???

Beel is a real sweetheart through and through but his stomach is NOT. That thing will eat them out of house and home! (Maybe even literally!!) Both of them are going to have to work and probably some pretty looong hours (cause he’s got no money either).

Honestly, Beel would be best as a personal trainer in the human world. He’s a pretty decent combination of tough but genuinely kind and motivating. (The fact that he’s pretty easy on the eyes would help out a lot too).

But the MC won’t have to worry about Beel sneaking off with someone just looking for some “quality time.” He’d take his job seriously, though he’s not particularly versed in what the human body can’t handle so only the really dedicated (or masochistic) would stick with him anyway.

“Good work last week, April! You did so well that we’re going to go from 500 pushups to a thousand! … I can see you’re worried, but I believe in you.”

But hey, he can deadlift well over 2,000 pounds without breaking a sweat so who has the balls to argue with him, anyway?

Trying out every restaurant in town would be a must. He’d even plan out vacations for them with the sole purpose of travelling the globe and tasting the different flavors. Food trips!!

He's neat enough since he used to tidy up a lot for Belphie so no need to worry about him picking up after himself (except for the occasional pile of wrappers. Toss those out unless you want ants)

I mean, you can prank Beel if you want. He'll be pretty good-natured about it as long as it stays harmless. Just don't ruin any of his food, got it?

Belphegor

So… Belphie makes for some excellent décor! Really he is great at laying around and looking fantastic just… he’s not that great at much else...

Realistically, choosing Belphie as a roommate is kind like having a high maintenance pet. He’s good for love and cuddles, but he’s not going to be helping with the bills or anything unless they whine incessantly about it.

If the MC can make enough for the both of them, then it should be fine. They won’t get upset and he won’t be crabby but if not… Oh boy.

Regular job Belphie is a needy Belphie. He’ll come back from whatever job he’s working, likely a night shift, and demand attention or cuddles right then and there. He needs to recharge those batteries, after all...

If he isn’t working then he's at his happiest. He can even pull off being a “househusband” of sorts. He’s not going to go above and beyond the call of duty, but he can keep the place clean, get a basic meal on the table (provided someone teaches him some human recipes), and get groceries if he needs to… You know, basic domestic shit.

They’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that, at some level, Belphie just doesn’t believe in “common curtesy” or “human decency.” If some neighbors are being too noisy for his liking, he will troll them to oblivion and beyond. He may even get sued for it if he takes it too far, so the MC will have to keep an eye on him…

He’s the House’s #2 prankster, but unlike Satan he doesn’t need any malice to be a little shit. The MC will be pranked and it will be at the most unexpected times. Be warned...

Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

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1863-project · 2 years

Note

Hello! Ever since I found your Submas primer I've been really really enjoying your posts about trains, the Submas boys, and other info posts. Particularly I love the post about how the two are autistic; I learned so much from that and I want to hear more about it. I have a friend who is autistic and that post made me feel like I understood autism better than I did. I would love to hear more about being autistic and how that could affect the Submas.

Hi, anon! If it helps, I have a whole separate blog where I do my autism advocacy work (although I don't update it as much as I should), and the Autistic Gaming Initiative's website can be found here if you're curious about what my all-autistic streaming team does! We're all happy to answer questions, etc.

This is the Submas autism post in question, which I wrote because I've never seen myself more in fictional characters in my nearly-33 years on this earth. They both have traits I do - I often joke if you combined them into one person, you'd have me. I'm actually not sure which of them I'm more similar to, because it fluctuates - but in general, I have Emmet's bluntness and intensity, and Ingo's lack of volume control and overbearing sense of responsibility. I can't put into words how much I appreciate them for existing, because although it never outright says they're autistic, they're still the most natural-feeling portrayal of autistic characters I've ever seen because they're just written as they are, not to "be autistic" if that makes sense. Basically, they weren't written to be "autistic characters." They were just written to be Ingo and Emmet. The fact that they happen to be the best-ever use of the "autistic people are good with trains" trope on the planet is likely a coincidence, but I'll take it.

Since I'm similar to both of them, I can speak from experience as to things that have arisen in my life due to being autistic:

I've been told I was too direct, provided too much information (oversharing), or came off as unintentionally rude

I've been told I was too loud (still get this one, I work in a library, whoops)

I've been told to stop talking about my interests because nobody cares

I've been told I have to make eye contact to make people think I'm listening to them (I get around this by looking at people's noses)

I've struggled to make friends because I was "weird" and "different" compared to the other kids I went to school with (I wasn't diagnosed until I was 20, in 2009)

I didn't dress like other people because of sensory issues (I still dress differently today, but now it's because I have my own personal sense of style and money to afford it)

When I was an infant, I started crying at some parent-child event because they did a group song. My mom overheard a parent go, "What's wrong with that baby?" and was ready to throw hands but my dad stopped her. I spent my entire childhood overloaded by rounds of Happy Birthday.

I have the world's most oversensitive nervous system. Many, many friends have found this out and found it amusing. (It’s affectionate and I don’t mind, don’t worry.)

I will be in physical pain if someone talks from behind me at a specific angle.

When I’m good at something, I’m verrrry good at it. This includes my ability to build IKEA furniture by myself, as well as how I’m able to instantly drive nearly anything (including steam locomotives now).

I retain information extremely well if I’m interested in the subject at hand, and I can find said information very effectively. I still remember things I learned about paleontology and astronomy from when I was 3-4 years old, and this ability has made me a great archivist and historian because that requires me to know a lot about history and be a good researcher.

I experience emotions extremely intensely, and this is overwhelming for both me and others. Even my happiness can overwhelm other people. (You know how Emmet gets about battling? It’s like that.)

I occasionally experience meltdowns or shutdowns under stress or if I’m having a sensory overload. Here’s a great comic on the subject!

I often found myself feeling “alien” when I was younger because I didn’t understand the intricacies and rules of human social interaction and society, and oftentimes when I learned those rules I thought they were ridiculous.

You may have noticed there’s a higher percentage trans and nonbinary autistic people than average, and in general a lot of us are gender non-conforming. Collectively we just decided gender and gender roles were stupid and I think that’s really cool of us. Although I’m a cisgender woman, I didn’t conform to my middle class suburb’s strict idea of femininity, so I grew up thinking I was bad at being a girl.

I’m good at work that requires repetition and focus. It’s what makes me a really good archivist. I don’t have to interact with people when I’m archiving, and I can do the drudgery neurotypicals get bored doing.

Because of intense childhood bullying by my male peers, I actually have never dated. I’m about to turn 33 and although I don’t need a partner or anything, it would be nice to at least properly try dating. The trauma makes it difficult for me to even initiate talking to men, though.

As you can see, that’s a big mix of positive and negative experiences. Ultimately, getting my diagnosis when I was 20 years old turned out to be an affirming experience and introduced me to the self-advocacy community, which I’m now actively involved in through blogging and AGI. That’s not to downplay my struggles, though. I have good days and bad days, and I’ve met some people who were accepting and understanding and others who were not accommodating in any way. Sometimes the things I have trouble with get in the way at work, like my issues with prioritizing tasks (they all seem equally important in my mind), but sometimes my work is actually enhanced by me being autistic. My adult friend group is mostly made up of fellow neurodiverse people, and I prefer it that way because we understand each other better. There’s a lot more supports than there were when I was younger, so it’s definitely easier to be autistic now than it was when I was growing up, but we still have a long way to go in the disability rights fight, so we need to stick together!

I hope this answers your question, anon! If you’ve got more, feel free to ask me - I’m more than happy to help with things like this!

#replies #Pokemon #Submas #actuallyautistic #autism

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schweidens · 4 years

Text

Mammon NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Mammon’s a softie - he definitely wants his partner to feel comfortable after sex and he’ll cater to their needs

Honestly, he hasn’t had much experience with a long term partner, so he isn’t super familiar with the concept of aftercare. But worry not, he’s quick to learn. He’ll prioritise cleaning you off and offer to run you a hot bath and remove the sheets, and tend to any wounds you might’ve sustained if the two of you were extra freaky that night

Once all that is done, he’ll dive right back in bed with you, peppering you with kisses and cuddling you till the next morning

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Mammon loves his abs - he’s worked hard for it and he knows that they look good. He’ll get particularly blushy if you comment on how muscular and toned they are

You hands are his favourite body part of yours. Not only does he love them when they’re wrapped around his hard cock or when they’re pulling his hair and marking his back, he also just cherishes how your hands touch him so delicately; how your fingers lightly brushes upon his at any given chance, and how your hands just fit in his so perfectly

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He has a really big load and his cum is extremely thick and creamy. It’s slightly bitter but you still swallow every timr

Mammon loves cumming all over your face. As the avatar of pride, it’s no surprise that he receives pleasure in marking you. Seeing you with his load all over your face allows Mammon to relish in the face that you’re his and only his

He’s also a big fan of cumming inside. Mammon loves how you trust him enough to let him fill you up, and just the thought of you filled up to the brim with his cum gets him going for another round

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

The two of you attempted to fuck in Lucifer’s room once while he was off meeting Diavolo. Unfortunately, Lucifer returned sooner than expected, and almost caught you in the middle of the act. Mammon got a beating and a lecture, and you were given a disappointed sigh

He’s also too scared to admit that he’s very much into sensory deprivation. Mammon loves the thought of being tied up, blindfolded, and a gag in his mouth, with a plug up his ass and a vibe on his cock

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s a demon, and having lived for thousands of years before, he knows what’s he’s doing

Mammon has had his fair share of sexual encounters with witches and succubi and his body count is definitely high

That being said, he knows how things work and he knows how to please. You cum every single time you have sex with him

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Mammon’s a big fan of cowgirl, he finds it so unbelievably hot to see you bouncing on his cock on top of him, with full view of your face and your tits. He also loves it when you’re in control, and this position grants you that

He also loves missionary because again, he loves seeing your face when you have sex. He could cum just from looking at your lewd expressions. Missionary also allows him to me a tad more romantic and intimate, so when you’re having a more vanilla session, Mammon can hold your hand while the two of you are chest to chest as he thrusts into you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s occasionally goofy. Cracks a joke here and there so the two of you can laugh while you hold a lighthearted conversation as you fuck

However, if the two of you are having jealous, rough sex or passionate, intimate sex, Mammon prefers to remain more serious in the moment and focus on pleasuring the two of you

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He does take care of his pubes but it isn’t like he’s completely shaved clean down there. Trims it occasionally so there isn’t a bush, and is overall pretty well groomed. He doesn’t really have much of an opinion on it, so if you want him to grow it out or shave it all off, he’ll do it

The carpet most definitely matches the drapes. Yup, white pubic hair

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

We all know that Mammon’s a touchstarved baby — years and years of taunts and insults from his brother really does damage, so it would only make sense that he would crave loving, intimate sex

Lots of sensual kissing, murmurs of i-love-yous, handholding, and praises thrown here and there. Passionate fucking and slow thrusts till the two of your both cum together

He’s a romantic boy deep down. If you were to ever surprise him with candles and roses and lingerie he’d break down in tears

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Mammon jerked off a lot more before the two of you got together. He feels extremely guilty for doing so. But he can’t help thinking about your pretty face when he’s stroking his cock. Almost always ends up pulling out his DDD to look at a picture of you while he’s masturbating

He doesn’t really masturbate that much anymore after getting together, with an exception of mutual masturbation, which he thoroughly enjoys. He finds it so hot to jerk off while watching you touch yourself right in front of him

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise. Be sure to tell him how well he’s fucking you, how good his cock feels, how much you love him.

Mammon also loves overstimulation — jerk him off while pegging him and he’ll become a sobbing mess. He’s also a fan of over stimulating you, and will aim to make you cum multiple times during foreplay

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The two of you have had sex in virtually every spot in his room. Across the pool table, in the car, on his bed, you name it. Mammon’s a bit more traditional, he loves doing it on the bed the most. No risks of banging his head on the car window or whacking your shin on the side of the pool table

Outside of his room, he’s also done it in numerous locations in the House of Lamentation. His personal favourite is the planetarium, since the two of you almost got caught by Satan while doing it in the library

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

A simple touch on certain sensitive spots can easily turn Mammon into a flustered, blushing mess. Run your hand up his thighs or give his butt a firm grab and he’s already semi hard

Dirty talk can easily get him going. Whisper a few lewd sentences into his ear and he’s instantly turned on. He’s also easily motivated by sexts and nudes, and will reciprocate the favour by sending back a nude of his own

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Mammon is not into being degraded. He’s already experienced enough with his brothers’ constant insults so insulting him bed would be an instant turn off.

He’s also not a fan of anything that involves pain. He doesn’t want to see you hurting because of him, no matter if you ask him to

Mammon’s also not into the idea of threesomes. He doesn’t want to share his partner, plain and simple.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s a huge fan of both. Loves to feel his cock in your mouth, with your tongue swirling around his tip, and always comes extra quickly when receiving a blowjob

Mammon loves how you taste and indulges himself in eating you out. He won’t hesitate to ask you to ride his face, and his tongue is skilful enough to make you cum a couple times during foreplay

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on the situation. If he’s feeling particularly emotional or romantic that day, he prefers to do it slow and sensual with maximum intimacy between the two of you

On special occasions — such as your first time, your anniversary, your birthday — Mammon will usually opt to keep the pace slow and sensual

If he’s jealous or angry, he will not hesitate to be rough. Expect him to be thrusting into you at a rapid speed with occasional spanks here and there. He’ll also go rough if you ask him to

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Mammon’s not the biggest fan of quickies since he wants to be able to enjoy being intimate with you without a time constraint

However, if he’s particularly frustrated or horny, he won’t hesitate to pull you in a spare closet for a couple of minutes to have a quickie

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Mammon’s always up to experiment with different kinks, as long as they’re not outrageously weird. He’ll try almost anything once, especially if it’s something you’re into

He’s not one for risks, usually, with an exception of public sex. The idea of being caught excites him, so he’s more than willing to fuck you in a semi public area

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He’s a demon, so it’s obvious that his stamina exceeds those of humans. Mammon can go for a good five rounds, given that there are small breaks in between to let him get down from his high first

Since his stamina is considerably better than yours, he’ll usually let you decide how many rounds you’ll be having

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Mammon himself doesn’t own any toys. Poor boy is too embarrassed to walk into a sex shop himself, and doesn’t dare ordering them via Akuzon in case Levi accidentally finds them.

However, he’s more than open to experiment with sex toys with you. Mammon loves using a vibrator on you, and also loves when you use it on him. He’s also open to you using a strap-on on him. Once he gets over the initial embarrassment, he’ll be more than willing for you to peg him

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you’re having jealous sex or angry sex, Mammon does not hold back on the teasing. He’ll fuck you senseless till you’re approaching your climax, and then stop completely. Mammon will edge you multiple times until you’re on your knees begging for his cock

However, he’s usually weak to you and he’ll easily give in to you pleas for him to fuck you

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Mammon’s shy and ultimately always tries to hide his moans but it never turns out that way. He’ll try to bury his face in your neck to mask out his lewd sounds to no avail

Over time, he becomes extremely vocal during sex, unafraid of voicing out how good it feels to have his cock ramming through your sopping heat

He mostly lets out low, breathy moans and groans, but when you’re dimming him, he’ll release the prettiest, high-pitches whines you’ll ever hear

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Mammon once decided to use ‘Lucifer’ as his safeword. It obviously worked and instantly turned the both of you off, but it was difficult to even look at Lucifer in the eye in the passing week

He’s a huge fan of lingerie and will not hesitate to use his precious Goldie in order to buy you more expensive pieces. They turn him on to no end, especially black, lacy lingerie

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Mammon’s quite big, at 8.5 inches erect. His cock is nice and girthy, particularly thick around the middle. There’s a bulgy vein down the side that rubs your walls oh so perfectly every time he thrusts into you. All in all, he has the perfect dick

Mammon also has a bubble butt, and he loves it when you smack the globes of his ass. Instant turn on.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Mammon doesn’t like admitting it, but he has an extremely high libido. He’ll be more than willing to fuck you multiple times a day, and he cannot go three days without having sex with you

Sex with Mammon is pretty routinely and occurs several times a week, or even more if you’ve been purposely teasing him throughout the day

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He gets pretty sleeping after cumming, but he makes sure to never fall asleep before you. Mammon will make sure that he’s done aftercare properly before sliding into bed beside you and holding you close till he falls asleep

It brings him joy to be able to fall asleep with you in his arms after sex, and he loves the sheer intimacy of it all

#obey me #obey me! shall we date?#mammon #obey me mammon #mammon x reader #mammon x mc #obey me imagines #obey me scenarios #obey me headcanons #mammon smut #others

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imasimpforshanks · 3 years

Note

Heyyyyyy hiiiiii hope your having an awesome day drinking that water getting hydrated 😗. I was wondering if you could do a Law Angst alphabet please. But only if you feel up to it and have time. If you don’t feel free to ignore or do it later here now have a cookie 🍪 because your awesome 😊

Angst Alphabet - Trafalgar Law

a/n: HI HI!!! thank you for your kind words!! I hope you are looking after yourself <333 here is the law angst! Please enjoy 🥰

A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)

He would only blame himself if any of his actions led to the accident that caused your death (we’ve seen him blame himself for that very reason about Rosinantes death). If his actions weren’t directly correlated to your death in any way then he would not blame himself, though he would kick himself for not being able to help you in time. Other than that, Law is painfully aware of the harsh reality that is life.

B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)

Law would break up with you in a seemingly emotionless way. He’d mask his true feelings, while telling you a whole bunch of excuses why the two of you could no longer be together. He doesn’t believe any of them, but he’s got to do what he’s got to do.

C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)

I feel like I’ve used this one in a few other character alphabets but it really applies to Law too. He would cause you to stress and panic so much over his health and wellbeing. He’s a literal doctor. He should know to take better care of himself, but he just doesn’t seem to care about himself the same way you do. So it isn’t until you’re crying in front of him, spilling your heart out about how concerned you are for his safety that he realizes his health is important to more than just himself.

D-Death (how would they react to your death?)

My god, if Law was to lose another person that he loved, he literally would never want to let himself get close to anyone ever again. Your death would be it for Law. He’d basically be on the verge of giving up himself. What other reason does he have to go on.

E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)

He tries to hide every emotion. Law doesn’t like to be too open, out of fear of people using it against him or it simply being too much of a sign of weakness. So, very rarely does he let his emotions show. He also tries to divert attention away from himself in hopes that people won’t focus on him or his emotions for too long.

F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)

This was covered in his fluff alphabet! But here it is again:

Your fights tend to be pretty short lived resulting in forgiveness and apologies from both sides relatively quickly. He really doesn’t like to stay mad at you for too long – he’d much rather have you two on the same page.

Most fights are caused by stress and concerns of health and safety, so Law does a lot of eye rolling and using his title as a ‘doctor’ as justification that he knows what he’s doing so you just need to chill – but like I said these fights are very short lived.

G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)

Law will never forgive himself for Rosinantes death. He will forever feel responsible for his death – it was all his fault. If only he hadn’t given that note to Vergo, then Rosinante would still be alive. He died because of Law’s incompetence (at least that’s what he tells himself).

H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)

During a break-up Law would act pretty normal. He wouldn’t behave any differently until he’s left alone. Only then would he let himself go and truly feel that heartbreak.

I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?)

Thanks to the doctor in him, Law is able to remain calm. He can keep his composure until he administers whatever treatment necessary. That’s not to say he isn’t worried though. He’s just capable of focusing on the injury right in front of him.

Only once he is certain that you are stable does he (or potentially his crew) go and hunt down the cause of your beating.

J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)

When Law does get jealous (which is rarely), he gets quiet. His fists clench a little more, and his frown deepens. He also speaks less than usual (which is already pretty hard to beat). He only gives you short snippy replies until he eventually gets over it.

K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)

Law would kill for revenge, yes. He literally wanted to kill Doflamingo as revenge for Rosinante. However, it was in Law’s plan that Kaido would be the one to kill Doflamingo (after they fought) – so I believe that is how he’d kill for revenge as well. He would devise a fool proof plan (okay maybe not fool proof, bc if the straw hats are involved who knows what could go wrong).

In short, yes. Law would kill for revenge.

L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)

This poor man has suffered so much loss in his life that it’s actually really difficult to choose which would be his greatest loss. He lost his entire family as a young boy while also having a shortened lifespan himself. Losing his family, and the realization that he only had a few more years to live, really made him lose his will to live a good remainder of his life. Young Law literally became a pirate.

However, he did meet Rosinante (Corazon) and he gave him another reason to live. Furthermore, Rosinante actively sought out a cure for Law so that he could continue to live a long life. Basically, Rosinante became a father figure/older brother to Law. So, losing him – another ¬person he loved so dearly – would have been beyond devastating.

M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?)

There was one day where he spent the entire day ignoring you. It was completely unintentional. His mind was swarming with plans and all this other information that has just come in. He got so immersed in it that he didn’t talk to you or tell you what was going on for a whole day.

N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?)

Nightmares are one of the many reasons Law hardly ever sleeps. He’s haunted by his family’s and Rosinantes deaths. His nightmares get particularly bad around the same time each year (that is, around the time of year that they died). He wakes up trembling and on the verge of tears (but he never lets them fall). Instead of even trying to go back to sleep, he’ll make himself a nice hot cup of coffee and immerse himself in a book or work of some kind – anything to avoid going back to sleep and risking a re-run of that horrible nightmare.

O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)

Sometimes his exhaustion catches up to him and other times its all the stress building up that finally he snaps and all the emotions are too overwhelming that he just directs it to the nearest outlet, which just so happens to be you.

P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)

You walked in on him absolutely breaking down over Rosinante. One evening Law retreated to his room while you and the rest of the crew were eating and drinking. He didn’t think you had noticed him leave, but soon you were following after him. You opened the door and found him breaking down in the middle of the room. You completely forgot that it was the anniversary of Rosinantes death. It was the first time you had seen him this distraught and it broke your heart.

It really cemented into your brain that no matter how tough he may look, he still suffers (probably more so than anyone). But, you were also grateful that you were able to see him like that, as it allowed him to start relying on you a little more.

Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?)

His inability to openly express his emotions. Sure, now he will share with you how he is feeling, but that is with you and ONLY you. He still insists on keeping everything else bottle away from the rest of the world which is a really unhealthy way to deal with things. It’s not that you dislike being there for him, in fact, you appreciate how trusting he is with you. It’s just, what if there comes a time where you aren’t around and he’s in desperate need of someone to confide in?

R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around)).

Law would wait until he was 100% certain you returned his feelings to confess to you. So, if you were to reject his confession he would be really confused for a while. He’d let it go because well, everyone has their own reasons – its not his place to tell you how you feel. All he can do is tell you how he feels and then the rest is up to you.

S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)

He has no self-inflicted scars, and to my knowledge he has no battle scars either. But, his arm did get cut off and then reattached during the Dressrosa arc, so it actually is likely that there is a remaining scar from that (although I’m not certain).

T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?)

Nope not at all. In fact, the only instance in which he would possibly break your trust, or lie to you, about is when he went to Punk Hazard and sent his crew to Zou. Some would assume that he wouldn’t tell you his plan out of fear of your safety, but that’s not true. He had to tell you. You taught him to be open and honest, and to trust. So that’s exactly what he did.

U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)

Law has gotten so comfortable around you that whenever you aren’t there, he gets unbearably anxious. Your presence is soothing, even if he can’t see you, even if he can only hear your voice echoing throughout the Polar Tang, it’s enough to put his mind at ease. So, if you are separated for a while… oh boy does he want to see you badly.

V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?)

He tends to yell at you. He tells you to “piss off” and that “you’re only being a nuisance right now”, despite you only wanting to help him.

W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?)

Not being able to control things makes Law feel really weak. Weak may not be the right word, but it definitely makes him feel unprepared. He doesn’t like when things are out of his control and he can’t account for things. Which is usually why he always does extensive research and preparation before constructing a well thought out plan.

X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)

Well, I mean other than his obvious hatred of bread, Law also really hates when he works extremely hard on formulating a plan only for it to be completely thrown out of the window by a reckless straw hat wearing captain and his entire crew. (and somehow everything still ends up working out!!! That is the part that frustrates Law the most HAHAH).

Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)

One of the only things he’s ever really wanted was for Doflamingo to be taken down. He’s been partially successful in that sense, seeing as Doflamingo is in prison now. However, he wants more than that. He wants Doflamingo to suffer the same way he has.

Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)

It may seem a little out of character but… I believe Law would be borderline desperate/inconsolable. There would be a lot of clinging on to you, begging you not to leave him like everyone else he’s ever loved. He can’t handle another person leaving him, it’s too much. It’s far too much.

He wouldn’t cry (just yet), but his voice would tremble, and his hands would be shaking. His mind would be racing with all sorts of theories and possible ways he could save you. How could he possibly prevent the inevitable?

#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece headcanons #one piece imagines #trafalgar law #trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar d. water law #angst alphabet #one piece alphabet

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belfrygargoyles · 3 years

Note

*whispers* I would like to hear what you have to say on reader inserts in the SW fandom because I too have a problem with them and I feel like not enough people are calling it out 👉👈

I’ve made a few posts about it in the past but I think it’s high time I actually Do This and really get into it.

Before I start: 1) This will be in specific reference to fanfiction written for the Star Wars fandom, particularly tcw and the mandalorian eras, 2) A lot of the issues come down to racist fetishization of men of color by white women; I am white, so there is much that is simply not my place to make statements on. What I can speak most on is my take from the gender side of things.

I’d honestly recommend reading this post by @nibeul with addition by @clonehub first, as they discuss the core issue with reader inserts in the Star Wars fandom.

And 3) some of this will involve discussion of sexual acts (as they relate to fanfiction) and sexual fantasies. These discussions will be non-explicit, and no pornographic text or content will be displayed.

Also. I’m GNC and nonbinary. I’m also a very feminine looking person that falls under the generalization of “small and petite.” I don’t have dysphoria, I like my body and the traits I have, and treating them like inherently female sends me into a blind fury. This is, unfortunately, important.

For the sake of making sure I come across as clearly as possible, I will be writing as though the reader of this post has never read or is broadly unfamiliar with reader-insert fanfiction.

Without further ado.

Hey, Star Wars reader insert fic writers? Please get your shit together.

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been reading reader-insert fanfiction since I was a grade schooler waking up early to check Quizilla. I love it! It got me into fandom, kept me engaged, helped me make and develop some of my oldest OCs, and it’s just fun to read and write- it’s like a self-indulgent little gift you can give to a bunch of people all at once. Because who doesn’t like the idea of starring in their own little adventure, usually alongside some of their favorite characters? It can be fun, immersive, get you attached in ways other ways of fandom interaction may not, make you feel just a little bit special, or be a way to express some feelings you might have about canon and the way the story went.

Like any form of fiction, it ends up saying more about the author’s feelings than anything else, whether the author realizes it or not. For many, many authors of reader-insert fanfiction, the primary enjoyment comes from writing “themselves” into the story- before the readers, the author most often makes the “reader character” someone they, themselves, can relate to and substitute for themselves. They write to live out a self-indulgent fantasy they have, and their readers can come along for the ride.

Some writers do actually try to write as diverse or as vague of a reader character as possible- as few details about the body, identity, etc. as possible so anyone could superimpose their image without the narrative directly contradicting it. This is not the kind of reader insert author I will be discussing.

The kind of author I will be discussing is the one most common in the Star Wars tag on Ao3: White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women who assume all of their readers are also White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women. Yes, you can tell.

ISSUE: fetishization of men of color

Again, this post puts it in the best words, but there is a rampant problem with Star Wars reader-inserts, particularly those involving the clones, Boba Fett, and Din Djarin, fetishizing characters played by men of color as either “physically aggressive and threatening, hypersexual and dominant, big strong men who are scary because they do violence and fuck constantly when they’re not” or “completely inexperienced baby who doesn’t know anything about things and needs a gentle nurturing guiding touch to introduce him to the mere idea of a vagina.” The former is common across all of them, the latter most common among clone trooper fics or Din/Reader.

I went into the Boba Fett/Reader tag on Ao3, because I like him and hoped to find something alright. Here are some stats I tallied up (give or take some) based solely on tags, summaries, and warnings:

There are 284 works in the Boba Fett/Reader category as of the time of this post.

198/284 are rated E for explicit sexual content. 69.7% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are sexually explicit.

259/284 are in the F/M category. 91.2% of all Boba Fett/Reader works involve an explicitly female or AFAB reader.

24/284 are tagged with or mention “Age difference,” “Older man/Younger woman,” “Innocence kink” or “Virginity kink.” 8.4% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are written explicitly with an age gap, with Boba Fett as the older party

26/198 E rated fics are tagged with or make reference to “Daddy kink” or involve the reader being called some variation of “little girl” by Boba. 13% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader are daddy kink fics, or allude to Boba Fett being a daddy dom/sugar daddy.

102/198 E rated fics are tagged as, make reference to, or suggest in the summary that Boba Fett takes a dominant sexual role with a submissive reader involving rough or painful play, or make reference to Boba Fett being frightening, physically intimidating, having a power dynamic over the reader, or being possessive or violent. 51.51% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader portray Boba Fett as sexually dominant and/or enacting use of physical force or pain play.

Just using this as an example, because it’s the easiest stats I can gather and also what made me realize there was a pattern.

The problem isn’t even necessarily that people write explicit fic about Boba- it’s that 1) over half of all fics in the category are explicitly pornographic, and 2) the way those pornographic fics are written. The two things compound on each other. They’re dominance fantasies projected onto a character of color in which he becomes extremely sexual, physically rough with the reader, possessive, and demeaning towards a reader character who is always written as White, AFAB, and petite.

This brings me to the next issue.

ISSUE: The way sexual relationships are portrayed.

Let me clarify so there is no chance of me being misunderstood: sex is good. Liking and wanting and enjoying sex isn’t bad. It is not bad if you are AFAB and have submissive fantasies. It is not bad to be sexually attracted to a man of color. You can write about sex even if you haven’t had it. Writing about sex can be a good way to express some more complicated feelings you could have about certain things. It doesn’t even have to be realistic. It has its time and it has its place.

This being said.

Sexual relationships as they are portrayed in the vast majority of E-rated Star Wars reader inserts are… not great.

The reader is always AFAB. I can think of maybe one fic off the top of my head where an AFAB reader was written with they/them pronouns and not just she/her.

The reader is almost always submissive, the dominant character is almost always portrayed as cis male. Even when the characters are supposed to just be having spontaneous casual sex, D/S or BDSM aspects will be introduced with no prior discussion or talks about it afterwards. Sometimes characters will start using dirty talk and it just does not fit at all, but it’s what the author thought was hot.

Sometimes, it just reads like a quick smutty oneshot. More often than that, it reads like the author doesn’t realize that sex… isn’t always a dom/sub thing. Or that someone can take the lead in sex and that doesn’t automatically make them a dom.

It’s not bad to be inexperienced. It’s not bad to have preferences or kinks or specific turn-ons.

But it gets… tiring to read, over and over and over and over, because that’s all there is.

That and… I dunno, it just has me a little worried? It doesn’t make me feel good knowing so many people can only portray a sexual relationship if it’s dom/sub. I don’t know why it makes me so uneasy.

Vanilla sex isn’t a bad thing I promise. It's this feeling of insistence that something "spicy" absolutely has to happen for it to be worth writing that gives... some weird vibes.

I’m going to move on to the next Big-

ISSUE: Every “reader” character is exactly the same

By which I mean the following:

Always cis AFAB female

If a character is written with gender neutral pronouns they will always be AFAB and written like Girl Lite

I have never seen an explicitly stated nonbinary/gnc reader character unless it was a request specifically for a nonbinary reader

I have never seen a gender neutral reader insert fic where the reader was AMAB

I have seen a grand total of 1 cis male reader fic and 1 trans male reader fic. The trans male reader fic was about dysphoria.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following backstories: slave/runaway, mechanic, medic, ex-Rebel, secret Jedi, bounty hunter.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following personality traits: throws knives, babysitter, completely civilian, WOMAN, says curse words.

The reader is never written with any narrative agency- things only ever happen to the reader character or around the reader character, they are never written to take charge and actually affect things on their own. Essentially the sexy lamp trope.

Remember when I said the majority of people writing Star Wars reader-insert fanfic on Ao3 were White, cisgender AFAB women who are gender-conforming and able-bodied? This is how you can tell.

It’s at this point where you can tell they’re really not meant to be reader-inserts, but author-inserts with the names removed- they were only meant for a very narrow selection of readers.

I’m nonbinary, I’m gnc, and I’m a very feminine looking person, generally speaking. I’m used to people looking at me and assuming oh, girl. I’m at peace with that.

I can barely stand reading some of these fics just because of how much the author emphasizes that the reader is FEMALE shes a WOMAN with BOOBS and a VAGINA and FEMININE WILES. There’s barely ever even a chance to give myself room to mentally vault over all the “she”s and “her”s because then I’m getting hit with Din or someone calling the reader “girl” or “the woman.” It’s unbearable, and I even fall into the general description every fucking fic author uses for their generic protagonist!

Even with the “gender-neutral reader” fics, it is just. Painfully clear that they just wrote a female character and changed the pronouns- no, there is no such thing as “male behavior” or “female behavior,” and I quite heartily rebel against the concept of gender essentialism. And honestly, I can barely even begin piecing together how I know it and what it feels like, because it’s just one of those vague conglomerates of cues and writing patterns I can’t consciously pick up on but I know it’s there- it’s frustrating, it’s demeaning, and it feels like you’d have to threaten these authors at gunpoint to get them to write a reader character who was any major deviation from the same three cutouts they use every time.

It seems like they can’t possibly force themselves to write a reader character who isn’t meek and submissive or has the sole personality traits of “mean and can hit things”- you can actually strike a balance between “absolutely no personality” and “fleshed out oc” you know? And you don’t actually have to tell the reader what their hair looks like or how full their figure is

It’s like 2:20 AM and I started this at like 8something PM but.

I’m someone who loves reader-inserts. I enjoy them. I still check for new ones regularly. I’ve been reading them for well over half my life now.

So many of these authors are just locked in on exactly one way to write things and it fucking shows. It’s like a self-feeding loop, they just keep writing the same things and the same dynamics because they see each other doing it and they never think about taking a step back.

It’s… exhausting. I’m exhausted. If you’re a reader-insert fic writer and you want to improve your reader character inclusivity and have also read this far, you can DM me or shoot me an ask.

#star wars #x reader #star wars x reader #star wars reader insert #maintagging because for once i actually want ppl to see this #i hope my points are made clearly enough #if something needs clarification you can shoot me a DM or an ask

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zintranslations · 3 years

Text

Kaleidoscope of Death, Ch. 124

Kaleidoscope of Death by Xi Zixu Link to Chinese / Novel Updates

Chapter 124: Long Sword

Once the insect swarm dispersed, Lin Qiushi's group left the dining room. The moment they stepped outside, however, they found that the flying insects had appeared in the hallway, batting their wings to form a faint black line in midair that led off to some unknown room.

This was likely what the string signified. Lin Qiushi had thought it would be more complicated than this, but somehow, Ruan Nanzhu's messing around had yielded them the correct answer. He glanced at Ruan Nanzhu and asked, "do we follow and see where it goes?"

"Sure." Ruan Nanzhu looked at the time and confirmed it was still early. "Let's go."

Then they headed off in the direction the insects were guiding them in, toward where all the rooms were.

Every five minutes, the positions of the rooms changed, and when that happened, the direction the insects pointed to also changed. Hovering in mid-air, they were all connected together in a single-file line. The three of them kept following the path of insects, but very quickly, they discovered something off—at one point, the insects broke off into two swarms. One pointed left, and one pointed right, in different directions.

"Why's this happening?" Gu Longming was utterly confounded when he saw the split insects. He grabbed a bug off-hand and trapped it in his palm. When he released it, it swiftly returned to its original position. "Why have these mosquitoes split up? Unless…"

He understood something. With a pained expression he peered at Lin Qiushi.

"Unless there are two monsters?"

That seemed to be the only answer, but Lin Qiushi didn't think the matter would be so simple. He asked, "we'll split up and see?"

Ruan Nanzhu thought for a bit.

"Okay, Gu Longming goes left with you, and I go right."

Lin Qiushi nodded, not arguing. He only reminded Ruan Nanzhu that if Ruan Nanzhu did find something strange, he shouldn't force anything; the objective this time was to gather information.

Hearing Lin Qiushi's earnest suggestion, Ruan Nanzhu couldn't help but smile.

"I knew it, our Linlin's all grown up. He worries about me now, how heartwarming."

Lin Qiushi: "…I'm very serious."

"Yes, I know you're serious." He came over and gave the corner of Lin Qiushi's mouth a casual peck. "I'll be careful. See you later."

Lin Qiushi waved a hand at him.

"See you later."

As they were conversing, the space around them changed again, and the directions they were heading altered once more. This time, the insects seemed to be guiding them toward the lowest-level deck.

Lin Qiushi and Gu Longming wasted no more time, jogging the rest of the way ahead, hoping to find the room the insects were guiding them to before everything changed again.

The two were quick, finding the room indicated by the insects in half the time. At this room, those bugs flew through the air and attached themselves in a dense layer all over the door. As soon as he was near, Lin Qiushi got a whiff of a strong, rotted fish stench.

It was truly too pungent—about as bad as how the room from last time smelled. It was too easy to anticipate that inside this room, they would find that giant fishman monster shut away.

At the room, Lin Qiushi didn't rush and try to enter. Instead he put his ear to the door and listened for any sounds inside. The room was quiet enough to seem like it held nothing alive, but Lin Qiushi still heard something odd: a faint breathing sound coming from the door…The breaths came from somewhere close to him, as if there was only the single door between him and whatever was inside.

Gu Longming, on the other hand, was looking through the window. He seemed to have spotted something in the inky black, face going slightly pale as he took a couple of steps back. He gestured toward the inside of the room at Lin Qiushi, nodding emphatically to say that there was something inside.

So Lin Qiushi got up and looked through the window too.

Through a crack in the curtains, he saw a pair of yellow eyes hidden in the dark. They were fish eyes, with perfectly circular pupils and the whites of the eyes giving off a bright golden glow. They were currently staring out the door with a none-too-friendly expression.

Those eyes slowly moved, like the thing had sensed there were people standing outside. Lin Qiushi saw it slowly open its mouth, filled densely with white teeth and a tongue softly glowing blue.

Hang on…yellow eyes? Lin Qiushi’s breathing froze. He felt that he'd caught onto something, swiftly pulling out his cell phone, turning on the flashlight, and tossing the beam of light in through the curtains.

As the light entered the room, Lin Qiushi could finally see the thing clearly. It was a creature difficult to describe—at least, Lin Qiushi had never seen its like.

It had a gigantic head of a fish and a fragile human body. Because the head was so big and heavy, the creature couldn't even stand straight; both the head and the thin, mismatched body could only sprawl on the floor. Most eye-catching was the long, sharp horn at the top of its head—it looked both piercing and deadly…and the first thing Lin Qiushi thought of was the long sword that killed the Minotaur from the myth.

The fishman's attention was caught by the light Lin Qiushi brought and a strange roar came out of its mouth. Gu Longming saw its strange appearance and couldn't help but rub at his arms, forcing a grin.

"The heck is that thing?"

"What we saw in the first room seems to be this fish-person," Lin Qiushi said. "Remember the yellow eyes from that room?"

Gu Longming nodded that he remembered.

At the mention of the yellow eyes, he finally realized. The eyes of the human-eating fish-monster were not yellow, but a discomforting shock of white. This kind of detail, however, easily blurred in shocking situations, and it was only due to Lin Qiushi's reminder that he could now faintly remember.

"So there are two monsters?" Gu Longming swallowed. "And so the purpose of this monster, could it be…"

His gaze fell on the needle-sharp horn at the top of that monster's head, and said the words Lin Qiushi was thinking.

"The long sword?"

Lin Qiushi: "We can suppose so."

At least so far, they had yet to find another appropriate, weapon-like item on the ship. The truth was, the moment he'd gotten a clear look at this fishman's apperance, Lin Qiushi had had the similar thought. Gu Longming had clearly drawn the same conclusions that he did.

The sound of the two talking seemed to have stimulated the monster inside. It began to crawl about a little violently, twisting about in a grotesque and scary manner.

Seeing its agitation, Lin Qiushi got a bad feeling. So he grabbed Gu Longming and backed up a few steps.

The moment they backed up, a long sharp spike appeared through the solid wood wall in front of them. The thing in the room had used the horn on its head to stab straight through the wall—two, three times, leaving a number of holes behind. Had they not backed away just now—and had gotten unfortunately stabbed—it was easy to see how painful it would've been.

But after Lin Qiushi confirmed the identity of the thing inside the room, time was up for another switch. The room before them disappeared, replaced with just another normal bedroom. The path of the insects changed as well, and the location of that fish swapped to the upper deck.

Gu Longming was disgusted by even the thought of this fish. He'd actually enjoyed eating fish before this door, but after marinading in fish stench for the past few days, he’d become reflexively nauseated at the thought of that taste. The unfortunate likelihood was that even after leaving this door, it would be a while still before he stopped being grossed out by fish.

Lin Qiushi: "Come on, let's go see where Zhu Meng is."

Gu Longming nodded.

The two left the bottom-level deck and headed up. They found Ruan Nanzhu standing on the top deck with his head poked out over the black seawater.

He turned around at the sound of their foot steps.

"What did you find?"

Lin Qiushi said, "I think we found the long sword."

Ruan Nanzhu's eyes gleamed: "You found it?"

Lin Qiushi nodded and gave him a quick rundown of the thing the saw. He emphasized the long horn they'd seen on that fishman monster's head and how it’d looked both sturdy and sharp, like it would make for a great offensive weapon.

As for Ruan Nanzhu, he said that in the room he found, he saw the giant fishman who'd eaten a person the night before.

"But how are we supposed to kill that fishman?" Gu Longming asked, squatting on the planks and dejectedly eating the candy that Lin Qiushi gave him. "I don't think that thing's any easier to deal with than the fish monster we saw before."

What they were most concerned about was not the width, but the depth of the wounding; once a wound got deep, it had a hard time healing, particularly on a ship that lacked medical supplies like this. It was obvious that once stabbed by that horn, even if you didn't die the day of, complications like tetanus, etc. would kill you in the next few days.

Ruan Nanzhu listened to Gu Longming's worries and comforted him—by saying don't worry, if it really does come to that, we'll finish you off nice and clean.

Gu Longming: "…how about no. Thank you."

Lin Qiushi thought this was something of a paradox. They had to first kill the yellow-eyed fishman before they could kill the monster symbolized by the Minotaur, but that was where the problem lied—how were they supposed to kill the yellow-eyed fishman? Did they really have to just take their dinner knives and go head-to-head with that thing?

As the three were discussing what to do, they heard a sudden ruckus from the dining room, interspersed with shocked shouts and agonized screaming.

At this sound they knew instantly that something else had happened. Lin Qiushi traded a glance with Ruan Nanzhu and turned for the dining room. Before he even went inside, he could smell the thick scent of blood—Lin Qiushi looked down and found a pool of it on the floor planks. A wounded man was lying on the ground inside, covering a wound in his abdomen with his hands. The wound seemed very deep, lumping up and spilling forth bright red blood.

Gu Longming took a few steps forward.

"What happened? How did he get hurt?" He took off his jacket and, using it as bandaging, began treating the victim's wounds in well-trained motions. He was trying to stop the man's bleeding.

Seeing his actions however, Lin Qiushi formulated a guess about Gu Longming's job outside the doors.

"He discovered outside that the insects seemed to be leading in a certain direction, so we followed it." The person speaking was the man's companion—he'd been a bystander and witness to the entire process of how his friend got hurt. He continued shakily: "But when we got there, this long spike came out of the room and stabbed him right in the body."

Gu Longming frowned.

"It doesn't look good, the kidney looks like it's been perforated." There weren't any useful medical supplies at hand either, and considering the blood flow, this person was likely…

A girl nearby said: "I brought a hemostatic spray, can you use that?"

"Give it here," Gu Longming said. "I can only try—treat a dead horse like a live one, right?"[1]

He did his best to tourniquet the person's body to reduce the output of blood. Then, after using up a good half of the hemostatic spray, he managed to stop the ever-flowing bleeding.

"What was the thing that stabbed your friend?" Seeing the person stabilize, someone turned their attention onto the person who was still alive.

"It looked like a fish," the survivor answered. "I'm not sure…I only caught a glimpse before this happened."

"We'll go have a look too." The crowd was clearly interested in this fish, and so dispersed from the dining room.

Moments later, there were only a handful of people left inside.

"How does it look? Will my friend survive?" that person asked Gu Longming plaintively.

Gu Longming sighed, saying, "if he gets out early he might be saved, but…" This wasn't a place they could come to and go from at will.

So everybody quieted down. Gu Longming looked at the blood on his hands and said, "I'm gonna go wash my hands real quick." He got up and went to the bathroom.

The victim's breathing grew weaker and weaker, and even though Gu Longming did all he could, a few hours later, the man still died.

The entire dining room was filled with the thick stench of blood. It was also, coincidentally, time for supper; the Dead Fish Dinner Sets just happened to be placed on the tables, and the stench of the fish plus the smell of blood meant everyone had even less appetite. Nobody even wanted to go through the motions before taking off from the dining room.

Ruan Nanzhu, however, stayed where he was. Lin Qiushi didn't rush him either, because he knew that if Ruan Nanzhu was staying, then Ruan Nanzhu must have his reasons.

Due to the death of the person that afternoon, Gu Longming was a bit down. He poked at the noodles on the plate in front of him without much energy or appetite.

After most people left the dining room, Ruan Nanzhu pulled a few plastic bags out of his clothes.

"What are you planning to do?" Lin Qiushi startled.

Ruan Nanzhu: "I don't think the door would have us go head-to-head with that thing. There's too much of a difference in power."

Lin Qiushi: "So you want…" He watched as Ruan Nanzhu took all the dead fish from the dining table and stuffed his own pockets until they were bulging. "You want to feed the fish to that thing?"

"It was the aperitif that got the Minotaur drunk in the myth," Ruan Nanzhu said. "We pretty much know what the aperitif refers to now."

The eaten fish was fermented inside the belly, to be tasted once the stomach was split open; it was truly a kind of appetizer liquor.

So Ruan Nanzhu wanted to use the dead fish to lure the Minotaur to the yellow-eyed fish monster. They didn't know if it would work, but they had to give it a try.

This method, after all, was a lot more reliable than bringing a dining knife to a fish fight.

Ruan Nanzhu packed up all the dead fish and took them to go, following the path of the insects to once again find the room where the yellow-eyed fish monster resided.

There were already many more holes in the room; it had clearly used the sharp weapon on its head to make them.

Ruan Nanzhu gestured for Lin Qiushi and Gu Longming to stand further away as he tossed, with a single throw, the fish in his hand through a gap in the window.

The dead fish splattered all over the ground. That yellow-eyed fish monster pounced on them in excitement. It picked them up with its hands and began an aggressive gnawing; it ate quickly, and finished in short time the entire bag of fish that Ruan Nanzhu tossed in. It was a good thing they were prepared, quickly throwing in the other few bags of fish as well.

As it ate, Ruan Nanzhu stood watching from the side. Lin Qiushi was a big worried about him getting hurt though, since the blood from the last victim was still dripping in display on the window.

The yellow-eyed fishman finished all the fish, not leaving behind any heads, even. When it was full, it looked on, contented, before going to sleep on the ground just like that.

"Let's go," Ruan Nanzhu said to Lin Qiushi.

It was already a bit dark outside, and even though he really wanted to see what would happen here tonight, staying out was not a smart move.

So the three went and found another room they could rest in, and got in bed waiting for evening to arrive.

The last beam of light disappeared with the sun descending beneath the horizon. It was a moonless evening, with only the howling sea winds and the storm clouds like a piece of fabric hung up in the sky.

Lin Qiushi couldn't really sleep, staring idly out the window.

Ruan Nanzhu had first been in a different bed, but mid-sleep he'd somehow scooted over beside Lin Qiushi. So the two were now squeezed together.

They didn't speak, nor did they even look at each other. The way they simply knew each other was as if they'd already experienced hundreds and thousands of the exact scenario before them now.

They were both waiting—waiting on the answer to their experiment.

Around three in the morning, their waiting finally yielded results.

Lin Qiushi's ears caught something like the roar of a wild beast—and then the sounds of a violent battle. They were quite far from those sounds, and couldn't really make out what was happening, but the battle lasted for a very long time. It wasn't until the sun was almost up again that it gradually faded away.

"Who do you think won?" Ruan Nanzhu asked quietly.

"I don't know," Lin Qiushi said. "There's no difference either way."

Though things were mostly going as planned, something still happened that exceeded their expectations—not long after the sound of fighting stopped, there came the sound of human crying and screaming on the ship. When he heard this, Lin Qiushi jumped, crawling out of bed and going to the window. He wanted to see exactly what was happening outside, but the evening was too dark and he couldn't make out anything at all.

Luckily, Ruan Nanzhu's vision came into use at a key moment. He saw the fishman drag a struggling human onto the upper deck.

"How could this be?!" When Lin Qiushi heard Ruan Nanzhu's description, he couldn't believe it. "Nobody ate any fish inside the dining room today—"

Ruan Nanzhu's brow puckered. "You…remember the guy that Jian Qianyuan injured yesterday?"

Lin Qiushi: "…" He nodded.

Ruan Nanzhu: "I don't think he came to the dining room at all today."

Lin Qiushi's attention had been on the two monsters all day, and he hadn't noticed: "But isn't it a good thing that he didn't come to the dining room?"

Not coming to the dining room meant that he didn't eat the fish, so why would the monster target him?

Ruan Nanzhu only grimaced.

"It's not only the dining room that has fish."

Lin Qiushi: "…" He immediately remembered that filthy kitchen.

"There's plenty of fish to be had in the kitchen," Ruan Nanzhu said. "There's got to be a sacrifice."

Lin Qiushi sighed. He'd thought that there wouldn't need to be a sacrifice tonight, but now that he thought about it, he’d been naive. It wasn't kind inside the doors at all. The longer they stayed here, the worse the casualties would be.

That person's screams gradually faded, leaving behind only the silence of a long evening.

Before morning came, Lin Qiushi managed to get some sleep. But he didn't know whether it was due to a nightmare or if he didn't actually manage to sleep—he kept feeling that for the rest of the evening, that thing had kept circling the room they were in. He'd even smelled that nauseating stench of fish.

On day three, none of the three were in good spirits. They hadn't slept well for the past few nights, disturbed as they'd been with a number of things.

Conducting several days of christening meant the group was already numb to another body appearing on deck. They got rid of the body in well-trained motions and scrubbed the deck clean, returning to the day like nothing had happened at all.

Lin Qiushi's attention was not on the deck. He went off to the dining room early, hoping to find trace of the bugs. But disappointingly, the insects that had formed the string yesterday had disappeared.

"There's no rush." Ruan Nanzhu glanced at his watch. "It's still early."

"Mh," Lin Qiushi said in understanding.

Without the string, they couldn't find the two monsters, so they could only keep waiting.

At around eleven or so, the scenario that Lin Qiushi had been waiting on finally appeared—the NPC that became the insects yesterday showed up once more in the dining room. He wore the same clothes, had the same expression, and looked just like an NPC who kept resetting in a game.

They didn't need Ruan Nanzhu this time for someone to approach this NPC and pat him hard on the shoulder.

So the same thing that happened yesterday happened again. The insects swarmed then dispersed, disappearing from inside the dining room, and at the same time, two lines of insects formed outside, leading off in unknown directions.

Lin Qiushi, Ruan Nanzhu, and Gu Longming began following a string to find the place they were looking for. A few minutes later, they came upon the exterior of a room. Compared to yesterday, it looked very different, because it was readily apparent from the outside that last night, this room had been the site of a vicious battle. The wooden window slats were completely crushed, and the lock that hung on the door had also been torn violently off.

It seemed like the two monsters did have a fierce battle between them. Judging by the final incident from the night before, however, it seemed that the giant fishman had gotten the advantage.

[Ch. 123] | [Ch. 125]

#kaleidoscope of death #xi zixu #cnovel #chinese translation #死亡萬花筒 #sorry for no updates this weekend i got surprisingly busy #;;#i'll try to make up for it

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lilover131 · 3 years

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Syaoran and Kaito Analysis

So I’ve mentioned recently in a recent fanart and in my analysis of chapter 55, but I have noticed quite a few similarities between Syaoran and Kaito, and upon some observations, I have some theories, particularly in regards to how Kaito views Syaoran. I decided to delve into that a bit, so see under the cut for more! Warning: It’s long. I wrote a lot. >.<

I have a lot to cover, so I thought it might be best to outline in the most simple way possible some things we already know about Kaito.

· He was born gifted with incredible magic. His parentage is unknown and he was “alone for as long as he could remember”.

· It’s unclear where Kaito originated from, but it seems he spent a majority of his life in England.

· He has moon based magic and has a wide variety of talents, but specializes in time magic. It’s unclear if he already had a skill with time magic or if this was obtained after he met Momo. It seems implied that he made a magical contract with her and maybe gained his time abilities from this. But we do know he has the ability to fly, to locate objects, teleport, to talk to animals, and to make something vanish in a mere moment.

· He is also talented in housekeeping skills, such as sewing, cooking, etc.

· He used to be very cold hearted and preferred spending time alone. Kaito changed considerably in personality at some point in his life. It is uncertain exactly what caused this change, but it seems likely that Akiho’s mother was the catalyst for this.

· He is part of a very powerful group of magicians called as we know it ‘The Association’ and is revered as one of its most powerful with the title ‘D’. He recently betrayed them and left, taking Akiho with him.

· He protects and seems to care for Akiho

· He is preparing for an event labeled as “that time” and needs Sakura to create a specific card.

· He is putting himself in extreme physical danger for his goals, seemingly for Akiho’s sake.

· He has been noted as always smiling to ‘hide his pain’.

So when I look at all of these facts about Kaito, I noticed something interesting. Syaoran too could be described by almost all of these things. You might think “Wait a minute Chrissy! Kaito and Syaoran are nothing alike!”, but please hear me out.

Syaoran too was born gifted with incredible magic. He also draws his power from the moon (a connection that has already been pointed out by CLAMP) and has a knack for household skills as well, being very independent from a young age. Like Kaito, he was cold hearted in his earlier years, preferred to be alone (according to Meiling in the original 90’s anime in episode 43), and had a drastic change in personality later on, particularly after meeting Sakura. Syaoran is part of a very powerful group of magicians as well, the Li clan, and is one of the strongest within it and destined to be the next leader. Similarly, Syaoran too is preparing for some kind of event, a future seen by his mother, and is doing everything to prevent this, even if it causes him physical harm (as we’ve seen with him struggling to conjure the Sakura cards). In order to keep Sakura in the dark as to not worry her, he has been using a smile to ‘hide his pain’.

Now you may be wondering “Okay, so they have a few things in common, but they are still completely different!”. And you would be right. They are two completely different people after all, but try to think of them as two sides of the same coin. This beckons another question: How did two people who are so similar turn out so differently?

This is really where their differences in personality shine through, but part of it I believe is due to their backgrounds as well. For example, Kaito was picked up by the Association at a young age due to his skills with magic and was taken in to “use that magical power to accomplish their own tasks”. Based on their record of not having a great reputation, according to Eriol, and their treatment of Akiho by assisting her Clan in turning her into a magical device, it seems likely that Kaito was not treated kindly by anyone in the Association. In fact, he was probably left alone nearly all of the time unless his strengths were needed, and took care of himself in the remainder of that time. He was surrounded by people but still completely alone, and he preferred to be this way. This cold background of his really prevented him from being able to open up his heart to anyone. But he does seem to be much different around Akiho.

Syaoran, on the other hand, was surrounded by loving and caring family members. Although he preferred to be alone in his earlier years, he wasn’t actually alone at all. His mother was protective of him (like cutting his hair until he was strong enough to protect himself from things like scissors near his neck), and his sisters adored him and undoubtedly showered him with love at every opportunity. But even with that love from them, he was still somewhat cold hearted (though not as much as Kaito) until he met Sakura.

Their backgrounds do differ from each other, but I think the biggest difference in them of all is how they handle their feelings. When Syaoran first started to realize his feelings for Sakura, he struggled quite a bit and was in a great amount of denial, even physically running away at times when confronted with them. It was when he finally came to terms with his heart and confessed his feelings to Sakura that he underwent a great change and became the Syaoran we know today.

So what about Kaito?

Well, Kaito I believe is in that same stage of denial where he is refusing to come to terms with his feelings, whatever those may be. It’s clear that he cares about Akiho, but when she or Momo try to have a serious discussion with him or get him to talk about those feelings, he goes out of his way to change the subject (or once with Momo, actually fled at the first opportunity, which is just like Syaoran used to do!). It is something he is clearly uncomfortable with, and I think that is because it is unfamiliar territory for him. He is used to not feeling anything at all, so having to actually think about his feelings and reasons for doing things is unbearably frightening. He can handle any magical opponent any day (except Sakura of course), but being open and honest about his feelings? That’s another battle entirely that he doesn’t know how to handle without his magic to use as a crutch.

Momo mentioned in chapter 39 how Kaito had made a great deal of changes, all so that Akiho could live comfortably and pleaded internally “peer deep inside your heart. And don’t avert your eyes”. This was said again in chapter 51 when she stated “I implore you Yuna D. Kaito. Listen…to your heart”.

In the very next chapter, it is none other than Syaoran who has a discussion with Sakura about how his mother had told him “If you possess great magic power…when you feel pounding and stirring in your chest…you shouldn’t ignore it. You need to listen to your intuition. I think that goes for everyone, magic or no magic. I don’t think anyone should turn a blind eye to their own heart”. We also know that in that same conversation with his mother, thanks to the mini chapter provided with the special edition of volume 9, that Yelan said to him then “If there’s something you want to accomplish, then training with your spells is surely important, but...more than anything else, you have to face your heart”. She went on to tell him how important it was to listen to his heart and that “If you lie to yourself, you will sadden the person who loves you so dearly”.

And that, my friends, is the major reason for Syaoran and Kaito being so different despite their many similarities. One listens to his heart while the other adamantly turns away from it. This leads me to my next topic (thank you for anyone who has read this long into it. I appreciate it!), and that is in regards to Kaito’s feelings about Syaoran.

I have noticed that Kaito in general tends to act quite differently in regards to Syaoran than he does anyone else. It starts at the very first time they met, when they made their introductions. Despite working so diligently to keep himself hidden from Akiho and Sakura, he did the complete opposite with Syaoran. He had to have known that being able to sense his magic and being given his name and title, that Syaoran would go and research who he was. He wanted Syaoran in particular to know who he was, which I believe is also why he allowed him to speak with Eriol initially. I say allowed, because we know he clearly had the potential to cut off communications at any point in time, and he only stepped in to shut this down when Eriol started talking to the others (Kero and Yue). He clearly wanted to control what information people knew about him, and Eriol crossed a line. He also put spells on Syaoran that would not allow him to communicate with others about him, so again showing he wanted him to know about him, but not to be able to tell anyone else about him, especially Sakura.

Another occasion I found intriguing was chapter 34 in the scene with the pool. Kaito stopped time, but for some reason, allowed Syaoran to move freely as well. Why is this? He could have easily frozen Syaoran too, but he made a conscious decision to allow Syaoran to move.

Then we come to perhaps the most telling scene so far, which is the battle he and Syaoran had in chapter 41 and 42. In a moment where he could have easily stopped time and rewound so that Syaoran never approached him, he instead decided to have a full discussion with him and even go as far as to engage in battle with him in stopped time. In this ‘discussion’, he stated several facts that he knew about Syaoran, who was pointedly not responding to them and seemed solely focused on Sakura. Some of the details about him were probably common knowledge to the magical world, but some of them seemed oddly personal, such as him being a ‘diligent student’, as if to show he had been watching him for quite some time.

Something about the interaction was different than others. It was as if he was observing Syaoran in that moment to see how he would react to hearing certain things. He then mentioned after seeing Syaoran use the Sakura cards how rewriting a contract once written takes a toll on even the strongest magician and he said “Is this all…for Sakura too?”. I think what he was trying to say here is that he recognizes the efforts he’s making for Sakura and may even feel a connection to him because of his own efforts for his own wish.

In chapter 42, continuing on with this conversation, Kaito seemed ready to turn back time the moment he realized they were no longer alone and that Sakura was able to move, but he still had more to say. Syaoran reacted to Sakura calling out for him, and it was at this moment that Kaito said “You certainly are honest, aren’t you? One look at your face, and I know exactly what you’re thinking” (even Eriol made several comments about Syaoran’s honesty in the original series). Once again, he’s showing here that he’s observing Syaoran, but why? For what reason does he bring this up? I think he says this because it is something so foreign to him and fascinates him. Kaito is so used to hiding his feelings and being unable to express them, but Syaoran is the complete opposite in the fact that he can so easily show his feelings and it is not his nature to conceal them. Kaito followed this by bringing up that Syaoran had suppressed that honesty when he came to Japan, which we know was through his fake smiles (something he is all too familiar with). Yue also said to Syaoran in chapter 27 that he had been hiding behind a smile and ordinarily was much more unrestrained in how he expressed his emotions, no matter what that emotion may be.

I wonder if Kaito said this because he wondered “how is it that he’s able to be so honest?” or maybe he was trying to show that he understood his reasons for hiding behind a smile, pointing out the similarities between them; that they were not so different despite having different goals. Kaito’s next comment in particular is probably what caught my attention the most. He divulged the detail about how Syaoran suppressed his honesty particularly to try and prevent the future that his mother saw. Even Syaoran seemed surprised by this, and he had good reason to be! This was likely a very personal moment, one he hasn’t even told Sakura about yet, and this implies that he might have been there when this particular moment happened. It makes sense too, considering Akiho had stated in her very first appearance that she was in Hong Kong just before coming to Japan, meaning she and Kaito were certainly there at the same time Syaoran was, at least for a brief time. This means he probably saw all the effort he was putting in for Sakura’s sake and maybe this resonated with him. I think maybe he also saw how his older sisters, even though they had no magic of their own, are treated with respect in the Li clan, unlike Akiho with her own. Kaito has only ever known a world where those who are strong are used and those who are weak are deemed worthless (like Akiho), but yet Syaoran lives in a world where both live harmoniously. Sakura’s world in Tomoeda is the same as well and filled with kindness, far different from any other experience Kaito has had, and this must have been quite the culture shock! But more importantly, Syaoran and Sakura have all the things that he and Akiho never had.

Another interesting thing to note here is that Kaito was supposedly expelled from the association about a year ago due to stealing a powerful magical instrument that was forbidden to be taken (which we now know to be Akiho herself). And guess what else happened about a year ago? About a year ago, Syaoran went back to Hong Kong to handle his ‘important things’. Coincidence? Well, famously CLAMP series often say there is no such thing as coincidence...only hitsuzen.

Just as he is about to send another attack at Syaoran, he talks about how he and Syaoran both do not have the power of divination, but that “it is for the strong to decide…what the future holds in store for us all”. I think what he meant here is “Neither of us know how this is going to turn out, but the both of us are working hard for our own goals, so may the best man win”. However, before he could go any further, Sakura used TRANSFER to switch places, and he is both surprised by this, but quite quickly decides to end things and rewind time at this moment, indicating that he had not really wanted to engage with Sakura at all at this point in time. He had even stated at the beginning of chapter 42 that he had intended to keep her frozen and only have Syaoran able to move, meaning this whole situation had only been kept going for this long so that he could talk to Syaoran.

After rewinding time and talking to Akiho later that evening, he mentioned how Parent’s day was “quite illuminating”. This could have been said about his newfound knowledge of Fujitaka, but I also believe he learned quite a bit from Syaoran as well.

Now we finally get to the more recent chapters, like 54 and 55. While sitting together at the botanical garden, Kaito puts yet another spell on Syaoran to force him to smile against his will to avoid any suspicion. I feel like this was not just to keep the peace but also somewhat of a way to toy with and tease Syaoran. What better way to get under the skin of someone so honest and open with their feelings than to force them to hide these under a smile unwillingly? I think this was the mischievous side of Kaito showing and almost like a big brother teasing a little brother, but unfortunately for him, he pushed things too far with this, and not only did Sakura notice something was wrong, but this allowed the spell to be broken, and Syaoran wasted absolutely zero time saying the things he had been suppressed in saying before.

Cue to chapter 55, our most recent chapter. Sakura has managed to keep herself from being frozen in time, and she starts off with a few basic questions. The first one was if he knew about her being able to use cards. Kaito answered simply “Yes”. But when asked about if he knew about Syaoran, he gave two very specific details about him, particularly that he knew he was a gifted sorcerer and that he was the next head of the Li clan”. He could have just answered yes, the same way he responded in regards to Sakura, but instead he seems to have wanted Sakura to know in that moment that he knows a lot of information about Syaoran and not just that he can use magic. The two then exchange meaningful looks, and it’s right after this that she looks over to Syaoran and Akiho, looking almost worried. Now, it’s not clear what they were both thinking in this moment, and it’s possible that I am overthinking this one, but I find it fascinating that his answer was so detailed here, and I don’t feel like that was for nothing. Ohkawa has always been very thoughtful about the words she writes in her scripts, and I think this is no exception.

Anyways, I feel like we’ll get more definitive answers in the future, but I’m incredibly intrigued to see if there are any further and more concrete connections between them. I feel like CLAMP has done quite a bit to point out similarities between the two, and it should be a wild ride from here on out!!

#cardcaptor sakura #clear card #alaysis #syaoran #kaito #clamp #spoiler #chrissy talks a lot #this was a long one

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funtimebunnyblog · 3 years

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Nobody really asked for this but uhhh... I kind of needed it 😶😇😂 Please excuse me for being self indulgent for this one time! ❤❤❤ But most of all, please enjoy! 😘

The Pillarmen (separate) with an s/o on their Period...

(Under the cut for length!)

(Warning! This contains content all surrounding a Woman's menstruation cycle and all the absolute joys that come with it 🙃 like: graphic descriptions of pain and blood, more blood and lots of blood. Viewer discretion advised! In other words, you have been warned...)

Kars:

• Chances are, Kars will always be long prepared for your periods monthly arrival.

• Even in the time when you were first getting to know each other, he picked up on your cycle patterns quickly.

• The first time you confided to him you were on your period he was prepared then too, pulling out a fresh pack of pads for you seemingly out of nowhere.

• The way you reacted, he'd swore he had just pulled a rabbit out of a hat.

• From then on he knows exactly when it will happen, he's done all the calculations and has the date marked on his desk calendar.

• When the day comes, he'll have a box of stuff already waiting for you by the bed; a hot waterbottle, some chocolate, pads/tampons, a bottle of Motrin, you name it.

• It's no surprise that even if you happen to be late or early he'll still be prepared; heck, he'll take one look at you and know.

• If you're cramping or feeling bloated and icky he knows some good teas to help you with that too.

• Kars is also prepared for the emotional and intensive side of things when you're undergoing your cycle.

☆

The door creaked open quietly, a tendril of light cutting through the dark as the wrapped head of Kars poked into the room, ruby eyes settling on the lumpy form quivering under the pile of blankets covering the bed.

He had heard you crying from the hallway one his way back to his Office.

The Pillarman's lips came together, however, he didn't hesitate for a moment as he stepped further into the room. "My dear," he spoke, approaching the bed. Your shaking form visibly tensed right up. It was obvious you hadn't even heard him come in. "Is your back giving you grief again?"

You had started just a day ago and of course things were carrying out as usual; cravings, back pain, nausea, all things he expected.

What he didn't expect was your answer, which was a wet sob, words muffled as the blankets moved; a shake of the head was his only coherent response.

He only frowned, the bed dipping with a low creak as he sat down on the very edge right at your back where you laid curled on on yourself under the covers.

"Your stomach then? You feel nauseous, is that it?" He pressed.

Another shake of the head, his sharp ears strained to hear the watery response from underneath the thick layer of blankets, leaving Kars with no choice but to finally peel away the barrier covers between you and him. Your very red and very wet face was finally revealed to him, your lips knotted and quivering as you sniffled.

Your state was only worrying him further, it was plainly obvious you had been crying for some time and on top of things, you weren't even looking at him.

There was an unmistakably guilty look to your watery expression.

"What is it then?" He asked, a huge hand plucking the stray hair from your soaked cheeks and eyes. "What's wrong? I need you to talk to me, dear."

His pressing only made the tears come much harder, his hands instinctively going to your back and rubbing softly.

"I'm sorry, Kars..." came the staccatic whimper.

He blinked twice, "For what?"

"I ruined the sheets!" You cried, hugging yourself tighter. "I... I laid down because--because my back was hurting again and I f-fell asleep and when I woke up it was just... all over the place!"

Your Husband listened to you quietly, suddenly coming to the realization that the bed had indeed been stripped of the sheets beneath the blankets; you were only laying (probably not very comfortably) on the thin white plastic mattress cover. His eyes drifted to the far corner of the room where the ruined fitted sheet and the thin matching over sheet had been simply balled up into a big lumpy wad and thrown there.

"You ruined your pants as well then," he hummed, remembering that you had been wearing a particular pair; your favourite fuzzy lounging pants with the stars on them.

A nod was his only response this time.

Kars let out a sigh, leaning down to lay his head on your shoulder. "Oh, my sunshine, it's alright. We have plenty of sheets, one ruined cover is nothing to me."

"I--"

"I know you didn't mean to." He cut you off, already knowing what you were going to say, his gentle ministrations unceasing. "It was an accident, I would not expect you to have control over something like this. These things happen. We can always get new sheets and buy you more pants and undergarments."

It relieved you to know he wasn't upset with you over this, or worse disgusted by the prospect of your mess, and you found yourself letting out a shakey breath you didn't know you had been holding.

The covers peeled away and you nearly yelped as you were suddenly hoisted into his arms, the Pillarman carrying you right out of the room without another word.

"Wh-What are you doing?" You squeaked, your confusion making the remainder of your tears ebb a little more.

"I'm taking you to get cleaned up." He answered without missing a beat. "No doubt you're probably still soiled, so you're going to take a nice hot shower. I'll leave you some fresh clothes and replace the sheets while you're in there and then we can crawl into bed and watch that program you like."

"I-- I thought you had work to do tonight." You said, watching him owl eyed as he set you down gently on the toilet and began to putter around the bathroom, pulling towels down from the cupboard and turning the shower on.

He hummed, "Oh, my work can wait until the morrow. My duties as your Mate come first, you know."

You felt a quivering smile tugging at your lips as he peered over his shoulder with a soft smile, cocking an eyebrow at you.

Kars was undoubtedly the only one in your life who could sweep up the shattered remains of a problem and fabricate it into something treasured.

He was the only one who made a this week out of every month truly bearable.

Esidisi:

• Growing up, Esidisi had been around the Women of his tribe and his Family a lot.

• He's definitely prepared for something like this and even upon first getting to know him, you could talk to him openly about it.

• These kinds of things don't faze him in the slightest; you're a Woman and as long as you're healthy there was no issue.

• Esidisi will almost always be able to tell whenever your monthly cycle is approaching, being an intuitive man and all.

• He knows your behaviors and habits and he can easily spot your telltale signs leading to your period, like: any erratic sleep patterns, a shift in your overall mood, your eating habits taking a sudden change, any ofd facial acne popping up, etc.

• He'll definitely be prepared for the day it does hit because he makes sure to go out and do all the necessary shopping prior.

• When your period does hit, it basically hits both of you.

• If you get emotional, he gets emotional; when you're in pain, he's in pain.

• Half of the ordeal might just consist of both of you crying and holding each other.

• The other half of it consists of him doing his very best to help you feel better and alleviate any discomfort you happen to feel.

• However... his methods in doing so are very unconventional.

☆

You did your very best to lay still as the calloused pad of a thumb swiped along bare skin, just under your navel, where you lay; leaving not only a trail of paint but a ticklish sensation that nearly made you giggle.

However, it was easy not to laugh while feeling nothing but waves of uncertainty and mild irritation rolling over you amidst all this.

The deep timber of Esidisi's voice thrumming out the tones of a mantra in some language you couldn't identify did little to comfort you as you laid there before him on the bed. You were dressed only in your underclothes and already painted with several other sigils along your body as he finished the one directly over your womb.

The room was dark, save for the light of two candles, one at each bedside table, allowing you to see him partially where he stood over you in the shadows.

His eyes, normally two sapphires glimmering, shined like rubies in the dark; animalistic and a reminder that he was something indeed inhuman.

You weren't really one to believe in rituals, especially not while you had some Motrin in a bottle downstairs that would fix up your prediciment just fine, but your Husband insisted on this instead.

You were starting to regret telling him you were still cramping with every sigil he drew and every stone and flower placed particularly around and over you.

"Esidisi," You whined. "Is this really necessary?"

The Pillarman's rythmic chanting fell to an abrupt halt at your words, his eyes fell on you incredulously.

"Of course this is necessary!" He cried. "You want the pain to stop, don't you?"

You grimaced, "Well, yes, but I just think this is..." teeth dug hard into your lower lip as your Mates brow came together, full lips twisting and arms folding over his chest as his gaze burned holes into you, awaiting the end to that sentence.

What could you possibly say that wouldn't hurt his feelings?

That is was a bunch of hoo-hah?

That he didn't know what he was doing or how a Women's body worked?

That the ancient medicine of his people that he was still using was something long outgrown in today's society?

That it most definitely wouldn't work and it was a waste of time?

"This is, what?" He pressed, chin raising as his foot began to tap quietly on the floor.

You could feel sweat sticking uncomfortably to your skin, or perhaps that was just you suddenly becoming increasingly aware of the feeling of the oil on your body he had slathered you with prior, as you fumbled to finish.

"Er... that is is... a little.... much?"

A bare brow cocked as he echoed you. "Much?"

"Well, I mean, you've painted at least 13 symbols on me now and you've smudged the air with so much sage my head hurts and the crystals and the flowers and... just the whole shebang here..." your hand went up to guesture to everything that was laid out, things both on you and on him.

His attire was something close to ridiculous in your eyes; he was even more naked than usual! Dressed in nothing but feathers covering his nether region and his usual hat, he stood before you covered in swirls of orange paint all along his body rather than just his cheeks.

"Isn't this just a little much?" You asked, unable to stop the frown from tugging on your lips.

Esidisi blinked owlishly, "Well, how else am I supposed to banish the evil spirits from your uterus and alleviate your pain?"

It had greatly surprised (and upset) him to find that the medicines and practices he was weaned on as a child had faded away into non-existence along with the name of his people.

Apart from Kars, who had taken to (ugh) more "modern" practices with those placebos and chemicals made in labratories, there didn't seem to be a soul out there who knew how to properly do these things!

Esidisi wasn't going to let you suffer or be harmed in any way shape or form, not when he knew how to stop it. He had learned early on how to cleanse the womb and heal it of any harmful curses or diseases that would happen to plague you. His Grandmother had been the one who had taught him and he had spent his youth putting them to much practice.

If you thought that this was much, you were definitely going to be in for a surprise for when you became pregnant one day; he planned to preform regular hour long sessions daily then.

You couldn't stop yourself from sighing, a hand reaching up to give a light slap to your cheek as you groaned.

You would just have to explain to him what really caused all the pain of menstruation. "Honey, there's no evil spirits--"

A finger pressed to your lips, stalling anymore words from falling from them. "Shh, beloved. You mustn't keep disrupting the ritual." The man chided softly, leaning down to press a dotting kiss to your brow as he swiped the final line of paint over it. "Now just lay there and let me handle this. Trust me, you'll feel better in no time."

Your lips turned downward as you watched him step back to fetch his singing bowl, sighing softly to yourself as you adjusted the bouquet of herbs and flowers that he had pushed into your hands.

It was hard to get comfortable when you could feel the mint leaves he had scattered in your hair scratching against your scalp and the orange peeling he had stuffed it on your bra was an entirely different matter all together.

You supposed that somehow it could've been worse and you had to be content that this was relatively harmless all in all.

At least the hollow ring of the singing bowl and the continuation of his mantra would put you to sleep while he carried out the rest of this ritual...

Wamuu:

• Admittedly, Wamuu knew very little on the concept of Women and their monthly cycles; until you came along into his life that was.

• He knew how it worked of course and that it indeed happened but embarrassingly, he had sort of... forgotten about it in a way.

• Really, you supposed you couldn't blame him. This wasn't exactly something that was part of his everyday life, growing up with only 3 other Males the majority of it.

• The first time he happened to smell blood off you, it sent him into a panic and he immediately thought that you were hiding an injury from him; demanding to know where it was so he could treat it.

• Embarrassed, you tried to be discreet and prod him gently in the direction of what was happening. However, every code word for it just seemed to fly over his head; inevitably confusing him further.

• "It's high tide." "What? Beloved, we do not live by the ocean." "Er... the blood moon has risen?" "The blood moon isn't supposed to appear for another few months. And it is daytime, beloved." "Uhh... It's shark week?" "Why are you talking about a T.V. program at a time like this?"

• Finally, after a long, LONG session of going back and forth like that, you had no choice but to scream that you were on your period.

• Wamuu's beat red face and his impossibly huge eyes will be an image forever burned into your brain.

• After that, even though he wasn't exactly an expert on such matters, Wamuu did his best to at least be attentive to your needs.

• He does his best to understand your patterns and the entirety of what exactly you go through.

• He's always checking in on you every so often, sheepishly asking if you're feeling ok or if you need anything.

• Just say the word and He'll get you pads or food or water, perhaps even a distraction like a movie...

☆

The wet sounds of sniffling hitting his eardrums was what caused Wamuu to be roused from his deep and comfortable sleep, the Warrior blinking in the dark of the room and instinctively raising his head to locate the source.

"Beloved," He breathed, eyes falling onto your form. You were also awake, your back to him and sitting on the edge of the bed, curled in on yourself. His lips fell into a frown as you continued to sniffle, now trying to stiffle the sound upon realizing that he too was awake now.

Wamuu slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position, "what's wrong? Why are you awake?"

It was still the dead of night, just a little past 1AM, he couldn't think of a reason for you to be awake and crying other than the possibility of you having a nightmare.

" 's nothing..." you hiccuped, scrubbing your eye. "Go back to sleep."

His frown only deepened, scooting across the bed to get closer to you. "No. What is it? What has you so upset?" He pressed, an arm encircling around your quivering form. "Did you have a nightmare?"

A particularly harsh sob cut through you as you shook your head, burying your face in your hands as if trying to hide from him, "No! Go back to sleep!"

Chartreuse eyes softened considerably, the massive man only hugging you closer to his body as he chose to press further.

"If it's not a nightmare than what is it?"

"Oh, you'll laugh!" came the moan.

"I will not laugh." He replied, quite matter of factly.

"You'll--... You'll be angry!"

His brow knitted together sternly, one huge and warm hand wrapping around your much smaller one, uncaring of the fact it was wet with tears.

"I will not be angry. Please, just tell me why you are awake and crying, my love."

You fell silent, save for the staccato of your hiccupped breaths, Wamuu waited with all the patience in the world.

"I--" you paused, swallowing thickly. Your expression contorted in an almost painful manor, a hand slamming over your eyes as you only began to sob harder than before. "--I want... CHICKEN NUGGETS!"

The Pillarman blinked in surprise, that confession had completely taken him off guard. You were crying over food of all things? At 1 o'clock in the morning?

Realization washed over him, making him frown deeper for only a second as he suddenly remembered the fact that you had started your monthly menstrual cycle yesterday evening.

You must've woken up craving and hurting, of course those things would drive you to cry helplessly like so.

If anything, the Warrior was relieved it was nothing serious.

Wamuu smiled softly, only hugging you tighter to him. "Will chicken nuggets get you to stop crying?" He asked softly, carding his fingers gently through your awry bed-head hair.

You coughed, sniffling as your whimpered response rose up from your throat painfully. "Yeah,"

He nodded, "Alright. How many do you want and what kind?"

You sniffed a few times, managing to calm down enough to tell him what would suffice enough to satisfy your hankering. Wamuu pulled on a simple hoodie and some pants as you talked, he even asked you if you wanted to come with him but you declined, not really in the mood to go very far.

He put the Television on for you, turning it on to a program and kissed your head, telling you he'd be back with an order of nuggets, a drink you liked and perhaps something sweet to enjoy after.

You felt guilty for troubling him with something like this, it was even worse that it was at an ungodly hour in the morning but Wamuu didn't care about those things, what mattered to him was your comfort, your happiness and your needs met...

Santana:

• Much like Wamuu, Santana isn't very much educated on the subject of menstruation and your cycles when first getting to know you.

• However, he could tell immediately that something was happening to you even before your cycle started.

• He mentioned that you had a stronger smell to him, like your hormones were given a signifigant boost. He claimed he could also see that you looked a little softer somehow.

• After sitting him down (a little embarrassed) and explaining to him what was going to happen soon, the dots connected for him and he understood.

• You were his Mate afterall and he followed his natural instincts to care and provide for you.

• He doesn't really like letting you out of his sight when it does happen, preferring to keep you close to him and he'll help you out in any way you need.

• You have to be specific with him though. If you send him to the store telling him that you need tampons, he might just come back with the entire isle of boxes in tow.

• This whole thing is always a learning experience to him, even though he can't undergo the same thing he does his best to understand and at least be attentive.

☆

"Oh c'mon..." you groaned, practically begging now as you curled in on yourself on the bed. "Kick in already!"

You had taken that Motrin over 10 minutes ago and still nothing was happening, your back was still aching and your stomach was cramping.

It was impossible for you to move now, you had laid down and there was no way in Hell you were going to get up again until all the pain was gone.

However, you were very much regretting not having the foresight to grab your heating pad on the way here, at least with that it would make it bearable but alas, it was all the way downstairs.

You couldn't even get up without fear of fainting or worse; ruining your pants.

Another wave of nausea shot through your gut, curling up in an icky tendril to your throat straight from the pit of your hurting stomach. All you could do was try to breathe; breathe, ride out the pain, hope it would be over soon and try not to vomit because of it.

A litany of begging was now falling through your lips like a prayer, pleading for anyone or anything listening to make it stop. Tears were beading at the corners of your eyes threatening to fall as your spine felt like it was being twisted, rung out like one would a wet rag.

"Please, please, please stop." You grit, hands turning to fists. "Please, please make it stop."

Little did you know your pleas didn't go unheard.

Santana watched you from the doorway where you couldn't see him, peering in with a thoughtful frown and a tilt of his head. Each quiet moan and whimper made his hands instinctively grip the door tighter, fingers digging harshly into the wood.

You were having a hard time. You were in a lot of pain and he hated to see you as such.

With only a moments thought, the Pillarman knew what he had to do, taking off quickly down the stairs; his feet barely making a sound on the steps.

Your back was hurting, he could see it in the way you kept trying to roll onto it. You used a strange device to help, one that emanated heat with a click of a button. His eyes scanned the living room for the familiar blue fabric with the white chord.

He snatched it off the couch, tucking it under his arm as he went into the kitchen next, finding himself opening and closing cupboards and doors without really knowing what he was looking for this time.

You had already taken one of those pills and he was certain you said something before about having to wait a couple of hours before you took another so that was out of the question.

The bright colours of your waterbottle sitting all by itself on the kitchen counter caught his eye. He didn't know how long you would be up there resting so maybe it was best to put it by your bedside for when you needed it. He also grabbed a couple of snacks from the cupboard, simple wrapped treats you enjoyed here and there.

He put the bottle under the tap, making sure to only stop until it was filled right under the brim with cold water.

Water... hot water. The red-head blinked, humming softly to himself as the gears turned in his head.

Your stomach had been obviously giving you grief as well, it didn't go unnoticed by him that you were clutching it; trying to curl in on yourself. You had something you used to help that too, he had seen you fill it up a few times before.

Waterbottle and heating pad under arm and snacks clutched to his chest, he went back upstairs. He went right past your room and straight into the bathroom, prying open the closet and digging around for the strange rubbery sack he could clearly see in his memories.

He pulled it out triumphantly, the object limp in his grasp like a pelt as he turned on the tap. He waited until the water was hot enough to make steam rise up from the sink before plunging it under to fill and corking it.

His arms now completely full, he shuffled back to your room with the goods; pleased his little scavenger hunt was successful.

There you lay, right where he had left you; from the look of it you definitely hadn't improved.

You were so consumed with your own discomfort you didn't even hear him or see him.

Santana approached the bed quietly, setting the waterbottles (both hot and cold) down on the nighttable with the snacks before fumbling with the heating pad, plugging it into the wall.

The massive hand being laid on your side startled you somewhat, eyes popping open with a shudder before being greeted with the sight of your one and only Mate standing over you at the bedside with a frown.

"Roll over." Came the quiet command, his hand pushing you further onto your side and slipping something familiar underneath you before easing you onto your back again.

"Santana, wha--" was all you could manage out.

Santana clicked it onto the medium setting, reaching for the hot-waterbottle next and holding it up for you to see. He draped the wiggly rubber sack over your stomach, an audible "bloop!" sounding from inside as your arms instinctively curled around it with a sigh; already relishing in its warmth.

The bed dipped as he crawled in next to you, the Pillarmen kindly pulling the blankets up around you both as he curled into your side protectively.

You could feel the heat seeping slowly into your back, the pain starting to ebb somewhat and the heated weight over your stomach was soothing; it all left you near to deliriously blissful.

You realized belatedly that he had brought you all of these things without you even having to ask, you turned your head with a sleepy smile, meeting the gaze of the red-head. He was so sweet you swore at times your heart would melt.

A hand reached up to tangle in his mane of wild hair, "Thank you, honey..."

The Pillarman nuzzled into your neck, almost purring at the gentle touch. He had made you better and that was enough to leave him content for now.

"I will always take care of you, my Mate..." he murmured, smiling softly as you closed your eyes and slowly fell asleep. It wasn't long after that he did the very same...

#funnybunny #pillarmen #kars #esidisi #wamuu #santana #pillarmen headcanons #kars x reader #esidisi x reader #wamuu x reader #santana x reader #my writing

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xo-alie-xo · 3 years

Text

PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.

You can only choose one poison.🍷

Listen up my Wildcats.🐱

We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴

I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤

Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.

Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.

If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.

He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.

People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.

This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.

Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.

As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.

As for our Queen Gina

In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼

But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡

This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡

Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠

Here comes the Caswells.

Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.

Let's get to EJ.

At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.

Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.

I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.

I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.

Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.

If it's meant to be Rina endgame

EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠

Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬

If it's Portwell endgame.

Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.

EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.

As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.

As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚

As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.

EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.

They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.

But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽‍♀️

In short.

Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽‍♀️🚫

Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳

Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.

Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.

Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.

Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.

It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.

Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣

Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂

I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.

Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥

(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)

Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤

#hsmtmts #gina x ricky #rina #ricky bowen #gina porter #ricky x gina #portwell #ej caswell #jack hsmtmts #juffy #jonah beck #andi mack

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ajaxwrites · 3 years

Text

GENSHIN IMPACT FANFIC REC LIST II

(previous: part i)

Seaglass by Aevas

There was more to the contract than a gnosis and test of Liyue. It seemed like a simple deal five hundred years ago: so long as Morax never had a soulmate, the Tsaritsa would never harm Liyue and she would not get his gnosis. But the moment he gained a soulmate, all that belonged to him was forfeit. He thought the deal left Liyue safe—he'd lived thousands of years without a soulmate. The Tsaritsa would be dead and gone by the time she'd have a chance to collect.

Five hundred years later, Childe appears in Liyue, Zhongli gains a soulmate mark, and everything falls apart.

(The obligatory soulmate AU, featuring a Zhongli with PTSD, an oblivious Childe, and demon-worshipping cultists.)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: I CANNOT BELIEVE I SLEPT ON THIS FIC FOR SO LONG. Read it and I mean it! I admitted initially steered clear of this fic because I wasn’t comforted with a soulmate tartali fic pre-Osial but this fic is actually post-Ostial *facepalm* The writing is phenomenal and Aevas does some beautiful worldbuilding that you typically don’t see in Genshin Impact fics. I love the dynamic between Childe and Zhongli here and the angst is real. The author writes the two as very human characters who makes mistakes, etc. and notably Zhongli struggles with the concept of Childe as his soulmate (who understandably is upset by the rejection when he realizes). They get better though. Also very plotty. A+ writing.

it's a hard rock life for us by reptilianraven

“Ah, no need to worry about that,” Azhdaha waves a dismissive hand. “There is no real Kun Jun. He’s dead.”

A leaf blows past and plaps onto Aether’s face.

“You killed him???” Paimon screeches.

“No,” Azhdaha scrunches his eyebrows. “He was dead when I found him.”

“And you just decided to wear his corpse?” Aether says, leaf still on his face.

He shrugs. “It was free real estate.”

“Azhdaha...” Morax says, sounding vaguely pained.

Or the one where Historia Antiqua Chapter II: No Mere Stone goes a little bit different and Azhdaha gets more time.

He ultimately uses that time to bully Morax into confronting his immortal neuroses, to make Aether and Paimon suffer, and to figure out how to get that ginger boy Morax has his eye on to make a move already.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe, Past Azhdaha/Zhongli

Notes: Very lighthearted, humor-filled fic. Love how Azhdaha is so flippant. Interactions with Zhongli and Childe are pure gold.

if there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes by moonlight_mist

Childe has a Weapon problem- specifically, that he can't keep one.

He's too reckless, too wild, and too keen on pushing his Weapon partners past their limits. He's just about ready to give up when he meets Zhongli, a Weapon who just might be the solution- so long as Childe can manage to keep his dick in his pants.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This is a Soul Eater AU with some college/university AU vibes (?) but you don’t really need to know much about the anime. It’s a cute AU and I love the premise. Light angst but otherwise, it’s a pretty semi-plotty fic. Easter egg Kaeya and Diluc though.

To Kill A God by IlluminanceinTales

In Snezhnaya, they call them sansis—lost souls that have no guidance but themselves. It’s an apt description, given that most of the time, wannabe-Archons have to go through dozens of tests with nothing as their reference, relying solely on their wit and strength and hoping it would be enough. At least, until they survive the end of the whole game—and they might not have to undergo a painful reincarnation which feels like a hundred bones being stitched together again.

On his seventh game, Childe Tartaglia reincarnates this time in the body of a young man.

Damn, he thinks, looking down at his thin body, his slightly calloused fingers. This won’t be good when facing the other Hydro Decisions.

In a world where an Archon's position is not chosen but fought for in games, Childe Tartaglia is a Hydro Decision who's poised to become the next Hydro Archon. Of course, that's only if he survives his seventh reincarnation. All would be so much easier if it weren't for a certain Geo Archon interfering with every possible chance he gets.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Think Hunger Games meet Political Intrigue meet Genshin Impact. Love the premise and world building that’s done. Features overprotective Zhongli and lots of Childe whump. Has one or two supplementary OCs that aren’t really important outside of plot device reasons. Warning for character death tho lmao.

Three's a Family by IlluminanceinTales

Childe finds a kid that looks just like him.

Of course Zhongli wants to keep him.

Or: How a harbinger and an archon accidentally become fathers. The kid is their wingman

Ships: Childe/Zhongli (?)

Notes: Your everyday cute AF kid fic. Fluffy as hell and super cute. Zhongli and Childe get domestic pretty quickly. Xiao gets dubbed a grandfather and begrudgingly plays along. Super wholesome.

in pitch dark i go walking in your landscape by snowbrigade

He glanced down at him, at the silvery scars peeking out from beneath his robe, and at his eyes, properly now. They were the bright blue of high quality noctilucous jade, but he could see it, an underlying darkness.

Zhongli wondered what his eyes betrayed about himself. --

Rex Lapis is dead. Zhongli, formerly known as triad leader Rex Lapis, is a detective investigating his own "death." Childe, also known as Tartaglia of the Fatui mafia, is undercover as an escort looking to kill Rex Lapis- until someone beats him to it, and he wants to know who. Goals intersecting, they form a partnership of ulterior motives.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: There’s like one scene that skews NSFW but otherwise surprisingly not explicit. Really fun AU. Like how the author addresses Childe’s reaction to being stuck with the undercover escort stuff and how the dynamic between the two develops. Pretty plotty so far.

Phantom Lines by iskendaris

“It’s a measure of one’s self, Mr Zhongli.” Childe says. “Maybe you don’t understand it since you work as a consultant, but as an ambassador from the Tsaritsa, as one who fights in her name— this is how I learn to know the measure of myself.” “I understand,” Zhongli says thoughtfully. “It is a warrior’s way, to test one’s strength against the incomparable. To find where one falls short. To find where one has risen to the challenge.”

In which Childe has insomnia, vandalizes public property and runs into a mysterious funeral consultant on his first night in Liyue.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: THE FEELS. I can only describe this as the fic where Zhongli pays Best Boyfriend Ever only to FUCK UP big time (via Gnosis deception). Poor, poor Childe. Look, he gave the boy feelings and then broke him. You can really feel Childe fall in love in this love. He also does mental swooning a lot lmao.

adventitious by Anonymous

It's said the Ley Lines remember all things that happen in this world, from the surface down to the deepest depths... But in the hidden corners where the Gods' gaze does not fall, there are those who dream of dreaming.

There's a dormant bud where Kaeya's eye once was. One day, it will bloom. (Never forget: memory is untrustworthy.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: I don’t even know where to start. This is very headcanony and lore-focused. Very much concentrated on Khaenri'ah. The implications of this story is grotesque to say the least (according to this fic, Visions are the literal eyes of the people of Khaenri'ah). Warnings for eye and body horror.

Without Those Dark Memories by StrangeDiamond

Diluc awakens in Stormterror’s Lair with no memories of the past five years. Kaeya is on the trail of a rogue alchemist, with a habit of testing his chemicals on unwilling human subjects. Now, in addition to capturing the criminal, Kaeya has to shake him down for an antidote . . . and deal with an amnesiac Diluc who acts exactly like he did before their brotherhood fell apart. (Standalone Fic.)

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: This is sort of a classic amnesia fic. I particularly really liked the way that Kaeya was written in this. I feel like the author did a really good job nailing his character and they have a way of capturing the subtle things.

Through the warmth, through the cold by strikedawn

“It’s you!” Paimon shouted with a twirl in mid-air.

“…Excuse me?"

They were drunk. Were they drunk? Was he drunk? Because Kaeya had the feeling his guests had been talking to him for a while now, but none of their words had made any sense whatsoever.

That was, until Venti stepped firmly in front of Kaeya’s desk and set his hands on the top, the better to lean over towards Kaeya and say: “For the end of the Windblume festival, Sir Kaeya Alberich, we’re going to auction a date with you.”

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Shortword, Kaeya gets auctioned off. Diluc makes impulsive (but good) decisions and scores himself a Date but displays an inability to do Date Planning. Venti deserves a pat on the back. Very sweet.

Hide and Seek by Kiri_Kaitou_Clover

Childe did not expect regaining his memories would bring him such frustration.

He makes the best of the situation by messing with one amber eyed consultant in anyway he can.

A reincarnated storm god wades through life in Liyue, all while screaming about one dragon god's incompetency at being human.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Features Childe as Osial’s very exasperated reincarnation, who gets the joy of discovering that his rival/enemy Morax is not only an idiot but also broke AF. He still falls in love anyway. Contains this golden line:

"Did... did that complete blockhead really use my money in order to get me a gift that basically says that he is proposing to me?!"

(Osial was screaming. When had the other god become like this?! Had he always been like this?!)

Getting that Bread by tzitzimeme

Concubine AU where Zhongli is Emperor, Xiao is an assassin sent to kill him while disguised as a woman in his imperial harem, and the only reason he doesn't actually do it is because he pities Zhongli for being so catastrophically stupid (also Xiao falls in love).

Ships: Zhongli/Xiao

Notes: Like Xiao says, Zhongli is an idiot. Fluff and humor filled. Xiao spends a good 95% of this exasperated by Zhongli’s bullshit.

prayers for a boy by Recluse

The only way to reconciliation is fierce combat!

Hm... Come to think of it, there will be a lot of interesting news to be heard the next time we gather for drinks. Filling in the blanks.

Ships: N/A

Notes: I...don’t really know where to begin with this? It’s exactly what the summary implies...but more? I was tempted to describe this as the fic where Zhongli puts his foot in his mouth but...that’s not exactly write? I feel like this was more of a character study. It explores the aftermath of the Osial Incident and how Zhongli and Childe reconnect. Platonically...though I guess it can be read romantically.

one kind of longing, two places of sorrow by lady_peony

Zhongli's hands rest behind his back, both gloved hands clasping one another. His fingers tighten around one another for the merest moment, before he relaxes his grip.

"There is a tradition in Liyue," Zhongli says, his back still to Childe standing behind him, "of inviting out a companion to a last meal before a farewell."

A pause.

"A tradition?" Childe echoes.

"Yes."

"With a companion?"

"Yes."

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The fic where neither of the two communicate about jackshit but go on a quiet, sad not-date before Childe leaves for Snezhnaya. Childe pulls (? on accident or on purpose, I can not tell) the equivalent of leaving the jacket in the car post-date to get date to call for the second date. Also, the author has a gift for like...writing angst...without writing angst? Like the whole fic is like brimming with everything that the characters aren’t saying but the thoughts aren’t necessarily written out BUT YOU KNOW THOSE DUMBFUCKS ARE JUST LIKE. BRIMMING WITH FEELS?

The People of Liyue by queer_occurrences

But Zhongli whispers, his low voice rooted in the back of Childe’s mind. “Changsun, the merchant, who is never too Mora-enthralled to turn away a needy child. There’s Tiantian—she will allow anyone to join the Adventurer’s Guild—she knows what it is to be desperate.”

Childe ducks away from them and hurries out over the bridge. It’s a warm, sunny day, the kind he would have complained about, whining about his delicate Snezhnayan skin. “It’ll burn, or worse, freckle. Would you still like me if I was freckled?”

Then Zhongli would say, “The people of Liyue will remember your sacrifice.” And he would wrinkle his nose.

Or: after it all goes down, Childe takes a walk.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: The author has a way with perfectly balancing angst with humor in a way that makes you cackle. There’s a lot of feels in this one. Zhongli tries communicating--Childe runs away a lot. There’s a lot of love for Liyue in this one.

cold blooded, warm blooded, hearts all the same by reptilianraven

Teyvat Petting Zoo @tyvtpettingzoo

Well would you look at that! Zhongli, our resident spinytail iguana, has gotten quite cozy with Childe, our new (and very feisty) ginger ferret! Aren’t they adorable all cuddled together like this? 😍😍😍

[Attached image shows a brown spinytail iguana curled up against a ginger ferret. The iguana’s head is nuzzled under the snout of the ferret.]

At the Teyvat Petting Zoo, Zhongli and Childe fall in love.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: ...I promise I’m not weird. This is just super cute. Cross-species love affair? Childe the ferret is very besotted. The internet is confused and the zoo keepers are just done.

a geo archon's guide to the modern era by Erina

“Morax,” Xiao says after Zhongli finishes his retelling of the incident. “He thinks you’re a weirdo.”

“No, don’t say that,” Barbatos snickers. “You’ll give him hope that this is salvageable.” He lowers his voice. “Morax, he thinks you’re a boomer.”

(In which Zhongli hibernates for centuries and wakes up in the modern world)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This took me, I shit you not, FIVE SEPARATE ATTEMPTS to read. Not because it was bad but BECAUSE THE SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT WAS REAL. Like, omg, just reading about Zhongli’s introduction to modernity made me want to dig a hole and die. Super funny though. Do not read in public or you will look like a lunatic. Has a...parallel (?) fic in the same series called buy two get one archon free where Zhongli gets reversed isekai’d into an anime convention.

time flies like an arrow by Erina

He’s tired, tired of the unbreakable loop of watching his loved ones pass on, tired of getting attached only for the connection to be violently ripped away from him. He wonders if the real victors during the Archon War were those who perished, who died long before their godhood turned into a curse that chained them to the land that they were fighting for.

But that is not a problem for Childe to worry about. That is Zhongli’s burden to bear, delivered to him in a pretty package years ago in the form of a gnosis.

His very first contract.

(Zhongli and Childe, across many lifetimes)

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: This is a quiet fic. It’s this kind of slice-of-life fic colored by this overpowering sense of love and loss as Zhongli remains immortal and Childe dies and lives and dies and lives for hundreds of lifetimes, but always finds his way back to his geo archon. It’s so lovely but also unbearably sad.

Tartaglia’s Favorite Professor by GreyLiliy

The famed hitman Tartaglia of the Fatui Syndicate spends his days as the charming college student Childe. The two lives remain as separate as possible in order to maintain a flawless cover to keep the authorities off his back and to better serve the Tsaritsa.

However, new intel about a rival syndicate intersects his two lives in a way he could never have predicted.

Ships: Zhongli/Childe

Notes: Mafia AU meet College AU. Childe is somehow both a horny AF college student and murderous hitman. Zhongli gives off major DILF vibes. GreyLily somehow makes this work while also avoiding cringe. Highly recommended!

like a handprint on my heart by fallingintodivinity

“Strictly off-the-record,” Jean says, with a small smile, “I’m really happy to see you and Captain Kaeya getting along again, Master Diluc.”

“We’re not – we’re not getting along,” Diluc tells her, indignant. “We’re working together. Unwillingly, I might add.”

“Yes – oh, yes, of course.”

Diluc stares at Jean suspiciously. “Are you laughing at me?”

Jean clears her throat primly. “I would never.”

Ships: Diluc/Kaeya

Notes: Super, super cute! Sort of reads like a first date fic except genshin impact style? Writing style is very refreshing!

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfic #fanfic rec #rec list #zhongli/childe #childe/zhongli #tartali #chili #diluc./kaeya #luckae #fanfiction #took a while but i have been steadily reading my way through the fandom #still not all my recs #but you can check my ao3 for what i'm reading lmao

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brandyllyn · 3 years

Text

NSFW Alphabet Poe Dameron

More of my work (and actual fics at AO3)

A= Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Poe is the King of Aftercare. Once he’s caught his breath he’ll wrap his whole body around you and stroke your back and hair. Or he goes to get a wet cloth to help clean you up. After one particularly fun night he managed to change the sheets while you were too boneless to move.

He just likes to hold you, to match his breathing to yours, to feel you relax into his arms.

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s always thought he had a very royal looking nose. He broke it once as a kid and was more upset that it might be permanently mis-shaped than he was by the pain.

He loves your hands. Well, he loves all of you and if you asked him he’d probably say you had beautiful breasts and then distract you for a while. But the truth is there is something about your hands. About your fingers gliding across his skin, the way they look when they’re clenching against him, or holding his cock …

Yeah, he loves your hands.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He’s not really turned on or off by cum if he’s being honest. Like, it’s a thing that happens as a result of all the other stuff going on. His biggest concern is always how you feel about it. Do you want / need to be cleaned up quickly?

However, there was a time, an hour or two after a quickie, when he saw you on your shift and just knew that you still had his cum on your thighs that he found himself so hard he had to sit down and lean over to avoid embarrassing himself.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Before you two ever spent any real time talking to each other, he used to think about you when he masturbated. He’d seen you a few times - across the hangar or in Command - and there was something about your smile. Your laugh. Your eyes. Maker, something about your whole body. When he’d gone to bed that night he hadn’t done it intentionally, but when he took his cock in his hand it was you that sprang into his mind and he couldn’t make you leave. So he’d sunk into it. Imagining your soft skin and how you might taste.

The fantasy ended up falling short of the reality.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Despite what the rumor mill says, Poe hasn’t actually been with all that many people. He had a steady boyfriend in his teenage years, a couple of hookups as a spice runner, and then he joined the Resistance and there just wasn’t time to really fool around. Also, by then he’d started to really want to find a connection with someone and that was really hard to do in the middle of a war.

What he lacks in experience he makes up for in attentiveness. He takes direction well and is incredibly attuned to your body. He wants to pleasure you and is willing to do almost anything to make that happen.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Sitting face to face. He loves when you’re riding him, when he has both hands free to touch you - but there is just something so intimate of having you in his lap. Of being able to touch whatever he wants, to kiss you while he rocks inside you.

His second favorite is literally any other position you two can think of.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

To your surprise, while he is goofy during foreplay a lot - once you’re both in the homestretch he’s hyper-focused on your pleasure. The jokes, the teasing, the humor all tend to fall away when it gets down to brass tacks. He just takes your pleasure so seriously. He studies you, learns you, listens intently to every single sound your body makes and responds to it. He can’t do that if he’s joking around.

Unless he’s edging you. Then he’s absolutely insufferable which only adds to the overall frustration. And he knows it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Despite the thick eyebrows, mass of untamed curls, and permanent five o’clock shadow above the shoulders, he’s actually fairly hairless below. A nice trail of hair from his ribcage down to under his pants - something you just love running your fingers down and he’s more than happy to let you.

Down low he is a mess. Look, as said above, despite all the rumors he really doesn’t have sex all that often. There’s just not time for it. And he never saw any reason to waste time down there when he could be reviewing mission logs or getting hours flying.

Once you two start seeing each other regularly he keeps things down below a lot tidier.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

One of the things Poe does, that you’ve never really experienced before, is that when he comes he doesn’t close his eyes. His jaw will drop, his brow furrow, but his eyes never close - staying locked on your face instead. He asks you to do the same sometimes, when you can, when you’re able to tell up from down at that point. He just loves the shared moment of connection - of knowing exactly who he’s holding in his arms and that all you can see in that moment is him.

For this reason, he’s not a big fan of positions where he can’t see your face. Maybe for a little while, they are fun, but he always wants to come from a position where he can see you.

Outside of bed, he’s always touching you. Soft touches as he walked by, a kiss on your shoulder when he thinks no one’s looking. And he whispers compliments to you. How beautiful you are, how clever, even sometimes a 'good job' delivered with a raised eyebrow in front of the entire Command. Those make you blush and scold him later so he only does it about once a week.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

For a long time his best friend had been his hand. He knows how to get himself off in under a minute. He would always prefer to get off with you - but when he’s away on missions or when your shifts aren’t lining up he’s more than willing to do the work for himself.

He always thinks about you when he does though.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Poe has a competence kink a fucking planet wide. There is something about seeing you, in your element, that makes him want to throw you down and fuck your brains out. Once, he heard you use the word 'immiscible' during a Command briefing and had to leave the room before he embarrassed himself.

You thought at first he had a praise kink but the reality is he just really loves hearing you tell him how much you love him. And if the thing you love in that moment is his body then that’s fine too. But the sound of your voice, saying his name, telling him how you want to be touched, or even just asking basic everyday questions sends shivers down his spine.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Call him basic but he likes a nice big bed with clean sheets. There’s something about stretching out with you, ducking his head under the covers, and just settling into bed that he loves. He’s not opposed to other places, certainly, but when he’s imagining the two of you it’s (pretty much) always in bed.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Laughter. Joy. There is something about the sound of your laughter, the sheer happiness that it encompasses, that makes him want to wrap you up in his body and never let you go. Seeing you smile, sharing a sideways smile with you - it takes everything to not throw you over his shoulder and put you back into his bed where you belong. Where you both belong.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Poe can be aggressive, but he’s not a dom. Not by nature anyway. If you wanted him to take control like that he could do it, but he’d be too worried about hurting you to really enjoy it. A sincere nix on anything that causes you pain - even if you were to assure him you’d enjoy it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He’s not going to say no to a blowjob. Ever. But his favorite thing to do is to get between your thighs and go down on you for as long as you’ll let him. It’s not really about making you come - although that’s an added bonus - it’s about just wrapping you up in the pleasure of it and keeping you there for as long as he can. The way your fingers feel when they thread through his hair, how he can actually feel your thigh muscles twitch next to his cheek… you’ve never done it but he’d stay down there for hours if you so much as hinted you wanted him to.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow. Achingly, annoyingly slow.

Oh, he’ll fuck you hard if you ask. If you beg. But most of the time his motto seems to be 'slow and steady wins the race'.

He’s not wrong.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Because of the war, you two find yourselves engaging in quickies most of the time. In the morning before your shifts start, occasionally in a closet or other out of the way place where you’re sure that you won’t get caught. It’s not his preference. He likes to take his time, run his hands over your body. Honestly, you’ve had sex more times than he’s actually seen you fully naked and that thought annoys him. He really likes looking at you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Within reason. Poe is willing to do pretty much anything you ask for, but he’s very aware of both his rank and the overall mission you’re both here for. If he thinks it’s something that might cause people to lose faith/trust in him, or puts the Resistance at risk in any way he’s gonna give a flat no.

This is why you’ve never had sex in, on or near his X-Wing. The risk of getting caught - a blow to how his squad might see him - is too high. As well as the concern that once he’s got real memories to add to all of his fantasies he’ll never be able to fly straight again.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Poe could literally make a day of it. Just dip down into the sheets with you and only come up again when absolutely necessary. Use his fingers and his mouth and his body to make you come again and again and again until you beg for mercy.

All day, that is, until he gets inside of you. Once that happens he’s got ten, fifteen minutes tops. Usually far far less. There’s just something about how your body squeezes around his, how wet you get for him, that makes his control fly out the window.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Poe wishes sometimes he owned toys. It hadn’t really been a thing he’s thought was worth the trouble of lugging from station to station - especially considering until recently there was no one else to use them on - and he was perfectly happy with his own hand for himself. Now that he has you, he finds himself thinking of the fun the two of you might have with some more interesting accoutrements. He probably won’t broach the subject himself, but if you did you’d find yourself looking through a catalogue with him beside you before you had a chance to say "g- spot vibrator."

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Poe loves to tease. He likes to push you - likes to see your eyes narrow when he’s being flirtatious and teasing with his words. And then to immediately whisper something naughty that leaves you hot and bothered and angry. He likes the idea of you trying to go about your day wet and needy and wanting him. His absolute favorite moments are when you get him alone and just attack him. When he can laugh at your urgency and see how much higher he can drive you before you can come.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

From years in close proximity to other people in the fleet, sharing quarters with the squad, Poe learned how to be quiet from necessity. When he’s concentrating, when he’s reaching for an orgasm, you only know what he’s feeling from the speed of his breath and the occasional very soft moans.

But boy does he like to talk. When it’s just the two of you, and he knows you both won’t be overheard, he talks constantly through foreplay. Asking what you like, what you want, how you feel. When things are heating up, it often turns into quiet whispers. Short words or your name gasped under his breath.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

While he hasn’t been in that many relationships or had that many partners (No, really. Who has the time?) Poe is a fan of pretty much everyone. He’s not really bothered too much about gender or species - although he does have a preference for beings that are roughly mammalian females. That has more to do with really liking breasts than anything else.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

About six inches, uncut. Nothing amazing or worthy of comment other than the fact that it fits inside of you like it was made for exactly that.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Surprisingly, he’s generally not had a particularly high sex drive. He’s been too busy for years dealing with the First Order to think to much about sex - and finding a person he can share that with and it not become a big awkward deal has felt like too much work.

However, now that he’s found you, he finds he’s thinking about fucking you all the time. In the morning cuddled up to you from behind he considers waking you up with his tongue, at roll call he thinks about bending you over a piece of machinery, at briefings he imagines you’re in his lap or between his legs with your lips wrapped around him.

It’s frankly embarrassing. The only thing that would make it worse is if he knew exactly how often you were thinking the exact same thing.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Poe is 10000% a cuddler. And he’s going to do everything he has to to be sure that you’re happy and content. But once that happens he’s out like a light. There’s just something about having you in his arms that makes him sleep the deepest sleeps of his entire life.

#star wars #poe dameron #poe dameron / reader #poe dameron / you #headcanons #writing

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