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thehusbandoden · 5 months

Note

Can you do hcs about class 1-a with pregnant darling? It's fine if you can't!/Uncomfortable with it!

A/n: of course! I hope these were semi enjoyable lol <3

Pregnant Reader Headcannons Part 2 (Aizawa, Shoto, Shinso, and Tamaki)

General info:

Genre: fluff/slice of life \\ total wc: 1,876 \\ posted: 12/06/2023 \\ requested

Part 1 (Izuku, Bakugo, Kiri, Denki, and Sero)

Aizawa Shota (707 words):

Aizawa always works hard, as we all know.

He not only teaches, but he also works as a pro hero during the night.

He's sleep deprived and very grumpy.. but not to you.

He's sweet and loving, though sometimes tsundere.

He spoils you with gifts and affection whenever he can, trying to slightly make up for the time away from one another.

When he finds out you're pregnant.. he's honestly scared.

He works so much.. how could he ever take care of a child? Not to mention the long and hard nine months you're going to have to face practically alone.

He doesn't show his worry however, he holds you close and kisses your face, reassuring you that everything is going to be okay and that he's happy.

He tries to get paternity leave about four months into your pregnancy, but he didn't actually get it until six months.

And that was from teaching.. he was still working in the middle of the night until you hit eight months.

He was exhausted.

He would wake up at seven, prepare his lesson, make you breakfast, clean up the house, and write you a love letter for you to find. (He secretly placed them in places easy to reach/find).

Afterwards, he goes back to bed and cuddles you until he has to get up again in a few minutes.

Whenever he has to leave you get really sad and it makes him feel so guilty.. especially if you cried or begged him to stay.

He gave you lots and lots of kisses, holding you tightly against him as he apologized, telling you that he would be home before you knew it.

He taught as best as he could even though he hardly got a few hours of sleep, and he graded papers and planned lessons whenever he was on break.

Sometimes he didn't even eat lunch, too busy focussing on his student's papers.

After school he picked you up a gift and wrote you yet another love letter.

He usually returned home with a bouquet of flowers, a treat you've been craving, something to do with one of your hobbies, and a letter full of love.

He'd wrap you in his arms, coddling you with kisses and praise.

The rest of his day was full of you, and only you.

He held you, kissed you, spoiling you in whatever way possible.

He couldn't really sleep well, unable to rest his eyes when you were laying next to him so.. vulnerable.

He usually watched you sleep as he waited for midnight.

When the clock hits midnight he starts to get ready for work, giving you a loving peck every time he passes your sleeping form.

He'll gently shake you awake when it's time for him to leave, telling you that he'll be back in a few hours and that he loved you.

He embraced you tightly, littering kisses up and down your face before giving you a long, proper kiss. Smiling at how you sleepily kissed back.

He left with one more 'I love you', and then he was off to go patrol the streets.

He actually gets off work an hour before he says he does, but he uses that time to get the rest of the papers for his students done.

He gets home about six am, showering before embracing you tightly.

He'll sleep with you for another hour before getting up about an hour later to get everything else done.

All in all he does his very best for you, and absolutely spoils you when he gets paternity leave.

You don't have to do anything but sit there, look pretty, and let your body make that baby.

I'd say he's fairly protective. He doesn't like anyone but 'his' people, and you are the one person who he would do anything for... and maybe Eri, but she comes later.

He intimidates anyone who dares make you uncomfortable.

Though if you're handling well than he'll watch behind you, smirking slightly.

All in all he's a selfless husband. He'd do anything for you, and he doesn't care if that means he gets even less sleep..

(He'll lie about the hours of sleep he's getting so you don't have to worry about him)

Todoroki Shoto (537 words):

Shoto always wanted kids, but he was too afraid to turn out like his dad.

So he never mentioned them, and you didn't either.

Well until you found out you were pregnant.

You were kinda scared to tell him at first, afraid that it would trigger ptsd from his childhood or something.

WEll, luckily for you, he wasn't upset.. at all.

He was nervous, yes. Really nervous, but he was excited and happy.

After a few minutes of staring at the test, thinking about what it meant, he pulled you into a tight embrace, lovingly kissing the apple of your cheek.

He got paternity leave at about five months.

He followed you everywhere, too worried about the 'what ifs' to let you do anything by yourself.

He wouldn't let you carry anything if it was remotely heavy.

Very protective, but in a lot less obvious way.

IF he notices someone looking at you in a lustful way he'll pull you into his chest, placing a hand on your baby bump as if he was screaming at them 'she's taken'.

If it came down to it, he would physically defend you.

But unlike Bakugo, only if he really needed to.

He'll glare and he'll tell them that you're married, but he won't physically harm them unless they started it, or they touched you/got into your space.

He gets really clingy, but he only hovers over you because he's too scared to hurt you and baby.

He'll usually cuddle you if you reassure him that he won't hurt you -or baby-, but he does get really really insecure sometimes and starts to overthink.

Most of the time the only way to pull him out of that is to be upset about it.

If you get really sad/angry he'll hold you against him, apologizing softly.

He'll help you however he can.

But he can't cook..

He literally almost burned the house down... twice.

He tried and tried, but he just can't seem to make anything but cereal.

So instead he hires you a chef.

He massages your feet, shoulders, back, belly bump, anywhere you need it.

You get a daily dose of cuddles and kisses. That isn't negotiable.

One day you were feeling very uncomfortable and didn't want any touch.. you left bed before Shoto and rejected his kisses.

He literally thought that you hated him.

He let you have your space, but he was so freaking sad.

He was angry too, but only at himself.

He started overthinking, thinking that he wasn't good enough, that he worked too hard, and that you deserve someone better.

The thoughts went on and on until he couldn't take it anymore.

HE shyly went over to you, gripping the bottom of his shirt tightly like a child, his head downcast and tears shining in his eyes.

"D-do you.. hate me?" He asked quietly, a tear falling down his cheek.

Your heart broke and you burst into tears, pulling him onto the couch next to you, holding him close as you sobbed, apologizing and telling him how perfect he was and how much you loved him.

He didn't believe you until you repeated it like five times and gave him over three dozen kisses.

He's still partly broken from his past, so even little things like that can make his brain go into overdrive, and he starts to get insecure.

That aside, he's a very sweet, thoughtful, and loving husband.

Shinso Hitoshi (165):

You both already stayed indoors most of the time, but this just cemented it.

He was a protective overthinker. He didn't want anything bad to happen to you.

He doesn't like many people, but when it comes to you he would literally kill for you.. even if that ruins his newly gained reputation.

He got paternity leave about four months into your pregnancy, spoiling you for the long five months afterwards.

He'd glare at anyone who stared at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to bring you closer to him.

If it came down to it he would use his quirk to get any creep far away from you.

You usually cuddle all day. It's actually pretty calming.

He takes care of you entirely, cooking, cleaning, the works.

He's amazing at foot massages.

He gets more sleep now because all he does is cuddle you.

He's not very good with helping you with your hormones, but the affection make up for it.

Amajiki Tamaki (430):

Tama is so freaking cute.

He's still shy ofc, but he musters up the courage to protect you.

He will get physical if it comes down to it.

But only if they start to try and touch you.

He's honestly so sweet.

He's so happy and yet so scared.

Out of everyone, he's most definitely the one that over tinks the most.

He worries about everything from him being a terrible parent to his kid getting his anxiety and hating him for the rest of their life because they're being bullied.

He starts to think about birthday parties and prom. What about his child's wedding?! They're father is going to be a mess!

Not to mention labor?!

What if he passes out?

What if you start to hate him?

What if you leave him? What if he fails you and your child?

His thoughts grow darker and darker as he falls into a pit of despair.

He'd probably grow into a depressive and if you don't snap him out of it.

Pull him into your arms, give him a long, proper kiss, and then just cuddle him.

Hold him to your chest, whispering sweet things in his ear.

He'll be better within 5-40 minutes.

Whenever you breakdown because of your hormones he'll break down with you.

He tries to be strong but seeing you cry breaks him.

He'll hold you, trying to reassure you as he's breaking down too.

He'll get your cravings whenever he can.

Even if it's two in the morning, or in broad daylight where he has to deal with a lot of people..

Like Shoto, he thinks you hate him if you get upset with him.

Though unlike Shoto, he won't come to you. He continues to take care of you, but he's obviously reserved.

He won't ask for cuddles, or even move to lay beside you.

He keeps to himself and when he's not taking care of you he's across the room, staring at the floor.

He could go on for weeks if you don't catch him.

He's a sensitive sweetheart, and he does need to be taken care of too.

Oh oh, he's also super good at cooking.

Due to his quirk, he's tried a lot of meals and cooks often.

If you want to try another recipe he'll secretly work on it for days, before shyly giving it to you to try.

He's very very insecure, so he trusts you a lot to let you try new recipes of his.

He loves you a lot, and the one thing he wants is your happiness and love.

~~~~~

Part 1

Masterlist | Navigation | You can tip me here <3

Aizawa's masterlist | Shoto's masterlist | Shinso's masterlist | Tama's masterlist

Reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated <33

~~~~~~

Do not copy, repost, nor plagiarize my work. Ask before you translate or use my work in any way -minus reblogging.

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midnightsnyx · 7 months

Text

girl at home | mat barzal | part 2

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lil bit of angst with a sprinkle of fluff and not edited im sorry lol word count: 2.1k authors note: *screams internally* thank you guys so much for the love on this story so far. I was super hesitant to post it at first but I am glad you guys like it! I'm posting this a little early but updates will be every sunday from now on. This chapter is kinda sad but happy times are on the way <3 thanks for the feedback, and if you like part 2, let me know!

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Sitting across from Mat for the first time in almost eight years, doesn’t go exactly as planned. He’s waiting for you even though you arrive fifteen minutes before the agreed time, hoping to rid yourself of the anxiety you are feeling which means he’s been here even longer. So you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and stride over to where he’s waiting and sit on the chair across from him. He’s staring at his phone so his head jerks up when he hears you.

The first words that come out of his mouth are: “are you sure she’s mine?”

Which, okay, that’s a fair question because you did tell everybody and their grandmother who asked that Mat was not the one who knocked you up. Of course, nobody actually believed you but there were a few people from your high school that believed it. Most girls who had always had a crush on Mat, would say that you cheated on him and obviously Nora couldn’t be his child because for some reason, they never actually accepted that you and Mat were a couple.

So yeah, his question is fair and you did know he would ask.

“Yeah, we can do a paternity test if you don’t believe me,” you say quietly. It’s not something you necessarily want to do, because then you’d have to come up with some reason to tell Nora why she needs to go get her cheek swabbed or blood tested. She’s as stubborn as Mat, and you would probably have to hold her down to get whatever the doctors needed unless she agreed.

“No, I believe you.”

His words take a huge weight off your shoulders but also replace it with a new one. You know Mat, he’s the kindest soul and has the biggest heart and he’s going to want to at least properly meet Nora and might ask to be in her life. In the first few years of her life, there wouldn’t have been anything you wanted more in the world. However, you’ve grown now and so has she. Your number one priority has to be what is best for Nora, and turning her life upside by introducing her to Mat is scary. For both you and her.

And Mat? Despite what he might think, he’s nowhere near prepared to jump into being her dad.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts.

“Sure,” you say even though you know what he’s going to ask. It’s a question you’re nowhere near ready to answer but you have no choice now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

He doesn’t sound as angry as you were expecting, maybe thanks to his dad talking to him but there’s underlying hurt. You try to put yourself in his shoes, trying to think if there was anything in the world that would have stopped you from wanting Nora. You know for a fact that if Mat knew, he would have been in her life somehow but you’re not sure if he would have given up the NHL to do it, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” you say softly, watching his facial expression change. He just looked confused before but now he looks sad almost. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach.

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I did! I do,” you argue. “If you knew about her, it would have kept you away from everything you worked hard for. Your dream was the NHL, Mat. If I told you about her, it would’ve crushed that dream. We didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “Who’s we? You and my parents? You shouldn’t have made that choice for me, it wasn’t right.”

“This is a child we’re talking about Mat. Were you really ready at eighteen to drop everything and raise one?”

“Were you?”

“No,” you say truthfully. “But I didn’t have a jersey with my name on the back waiting for me.”

He doesn’t say anything and for a moment, it’s silent between the two of you with background chatter from the cafe. You’re sure that he’s just going to get up and storm out but he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, knotting his fingers together.

“I wish you’d told me,” he mumbles before looking up at you. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I know,” you whisper but you can’t meet his gaze.

. . .

You’re picking Nora up from her day camp a couple of days later when you get a message from Mat asking if he can meet up with you. There’s been no contact since the two of you last met, having left with a short goodbye to pick up Nora. He hadn’t asked to see her and you hadn’t offered so you thought maybe he would leave it but you should’ve known better.

You fire off a sure, see you in twenty, and debate on whether to bring Nora with you or drop her off with your mom. Mat might not even want to see her, but if he’s reaching out to you again it’s probably about her.

“Wanna go meet my friend?” you ask, looking back at her to gauge her reaction. She might just want to go home after all day at camp, but she perks up immediately when you ask.

“The one from the grocery store?” she squeals but narrows her eyes and gives you a suspicious look. “Hey, I thought you said he was a stranger.”

Shoot.

“Well, he was to you,” you try to explain. “I knew him when I was younger.”

“As young as me?”

“As young as you,” you tell her and she grins, nodding her head and shouting an excited yes, so you pull out of the parking-lot and start towards Mat’s parents house. You’re a little nervous to be around his family after dancing around them for so long after Nora was born. Meeting up with Liana wasn’t as hard as you were expecting, but you’re not so sure about his parents. Aside from the occasional awkward greeting, you haven’t properly spoken to them since before Nora and you’re starting to think maybe bringing her will just make things worse but before you can change your mind, you’re parking your car in the driveway.

He’s sitting outside on the porch swing when you step out, and his eyes widen in surprise when Nora climbs out of the car. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to bring her but this could be a good test. If he decides he wants to be part of her life, having all their interactions scheduled wouldn’t be a good start so you decide to just jump in the deep end.

“Hey,” you call out before grabbing Nora’s hand and making your way towards him. He’s already making his way down the pathway and meets you about half way, pulling you into a surprising hug before crouching down to Nora’s level.

“Hey Nora,” he says, smiling gently and offering her his hand to shake just like last time. “Do you remember me?”

She bobs her head once, accepting his hand but tries to hide her face in your leg. Of course now, she’s practicing Stranger Danger, instead of blurting out her full name.

“Mom made dinner, if you guys are hungry?”

Family dinner is just about the last thing you want to do but Nora perks up at the idea of food so you agree, following Mat into the all too familiar home you spent so much time in as a kid. Not much has changed, you realize as you look around the foyer. It feels a bit like coming home but you’re not sure if you were missed.

“Smells good,” you say, trying to make conversation and Mat smiles awkwardly.

“Yeah, mom is making your favorite.”

How she can remember your favorite meal is beyond you, but you’re not about to miss a peace offering and this is certainly one.

“My favorite food is spaghetti,” Nora informs him and you watch Mat nod seriously, taking in anything she says. You try not to look too deep into it because even though he knows she’s biologically his, Nora is still just a cute kid talking a mile a minute about anything and Mat has probably been trained on how to handle excited children.

When the three of you make your way to the living room, with Nora still chatting excitedly, you stop short when you see a picture frame on the wall.

It’s you. Well, it’s you and Mat at graduation. Arms wrapped around each other and Mat kissing your forehead. If you look close enough, you can see past your smile and see the sadness in your eyes. This was before you were pregnant but you were already grieving the loss of Mat. He left for hockey shortly after and your only reminder was the brown haired little girl still talking to Mat.

“Is that you, mama?” Nora asks suddenly, standing on the tips of her toes so she can get a better view. Her nose scrunches up and she looks at the photo, then Mat, and then the photo again.

“Oh,” she says and you sigh.

“Let’s go see Mat’s parents.”

Nadia and Mike are waiting in the kitchen, trying to make it seem like they weren’t listening in on the conversation. Liana is sitting at the table, reading a book casually but you know she was probably listening too.

“This is Mike, Nadia, and Liana,” you tell Nora who lights up at Nadia’s name.

“My middle name is Nadia!” She squeals and you stare at the floor, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. Someone - probably Nadia - inhales sharply and then lets out what sounds like a sob.

“That’s a beautiful name,” Liana says and you look up to see her looking at Nora with a soft smile on her face. Mike has an arm wrapped around Nadia who’s trying, and failing, to hide tears. You’re glad Liana is trying to distract Nora because you’re about two seconds away from crying and Mat must be able to tell because you feel his hand lightly touch your back. His hand lingers for a moment until you take a deep breath and blow it out steadily.

Then his hand is gone and you feel the loss right away.

“Hey, we have a swing outside in the backyard,” Mat tells Nora. “Wanna go check it out while dinner finishes cooking?”

He looks at you for permission so you nod, smiling at Nora when he takes her hand and leads her outside. Liana follows shortly after and then it’s just you, Nadia and Mike. Both their eyes are red rimmed and Nadia only hesitates for a moment before striding over and pulling you into a tight hug.

“Thank you, my girl,” she whispers and all you can manage is a nod because you’ll probably cry now if you try to talk. The two of you just stand there for a couple minutes until Mike chuckles. You pull away, wiping your eyes to see him standing in front of the patio door so you make your way over to see what he’s looking at and almost start crying again.

Mat and Nora are playing what looks like a game of tag, Liana laughing at them while trying to film. It’s exactly the kind of thing you had sometimes allowed yourself to imagine.

“Would you look at that,” Mike says softly.

“He’s a natural,” Nadia agrees. “Always was.”

Then she turns to you with a small smile on her face. “I know the struggles of being a mom. You have to do what’s best for your kids…” she hesitates, gazing outside before looking back at you. “He wants to try, if you’ll give him the chance. We’d all love to get to know Nora.”

You would love nothing more than to have Mat’s family in Nora’s life. For her to get to know her other grandparents but you can’t help but be scared of what could happen if you let Mat into her life. She could get attached only to have him ripped away when he has to go back to New York but you can’t have Nora in Nadia, Mike, and Liana’s life and not Mat’s.

But maybe you owe it to Mat, to give him a chance at having a place in her life after not telling him about her all this time. You were doing what you thought was right - what was right - but if Mat really wants to be part of her life, maybe it’s time.

You look outside and see Nora on Mat’s shoulders with Liana chasing them, before looking back at the woman in front of you and smiling softly.

“I think Nora would love that.”

tag list: @dasiysthings

#hockey imagines #allies writing #nhl fanfiction #hockey fanfiction #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal fic

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goblinwithartsupplies · 7 months

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This is not my original post it belongs to @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo who deleted their account but it’s so good and needs to be preserved

I like that there is just... A noticeable gap in the gods' under standing of mortal children. Like, Zeus really accused a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD of stealing his master bolt and the only justification I have for this is "Well, Hermes stole Apollo's cattle right after birth so that tracks".

But now I have a theory that the gods don't rediv understand how mortal

children work and that's why they're so blase about sending them to do ridiculous nonsense?

Like...

Zeus: What do you mean 'first word'? Why would they only speak one word?

Artemis: Humans can only cry when they are born.

Zeus: Nonsense. When vou were born you didn't cry. You delivered your brother and then came to me to ask for a birthday present.

Artemis: Humans aren't the same though. They can't walk or talk for many months. When they do speak it is only in small, short words.

Zeus: …that's not true

Artemis: I'm afraid it is

Zeus, under his breath: What the fuck

Later on...

Zeus: Did you know human babies can't speak when thev're tirst born?

Poseidon: that's so sad. Are demigods like that?

Zeus: I have no idea.

Poseidon: Mavbe we should ask around more. Athena was saying something about brain development.

Zeus: Their... THEIR BRAINS AREN'T DEVELOPED?!?!

Poseidon: I guess

Zeus: THESE HUMANS ARE WALKING AROUND WITHOUT FULLY FORMED BRAINS?!

Poseidon: I mean, so are you and I don't complain.

The quest continues...

Hermes: So... you're telling me that human kids don't know how to fend themselves at all? They need to be taught? I mean, fighting, of course, but outside of that???

Poseidon: Yeah, I thought it was like fish

where you just naturally know what you’re supposed to do. But apparently they have no idea and need to be shown everything

Hermes: I... that's awful. Why?

Poseidon: I don't know.

Suddenly all the gods are very concerned...

Ares: You mean to tell me that my kids are probably traumatized from war??

Hermes: That's what the research shows. Human kids aren't supposed to handle that kind of stuff and demigods are more human than we anticipated.

Ares: But... War?

Hermes: Idk what to tell you, bud. I'm beginning to understand why they hate us tho.

Everyone is naturally panicking

Demeter: YOU SENT MONSTERS AFTER MY BABIES WHEN THEY HAD NO BRAINS AND COULDN'T EVEN READ?!?

Hecate: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT DEMIGODS WEREN'T BORN KNOWING HOW TO READ!?!?!

Athena: Our children all have dyslexia.

Demeter: YOU LET YOUR DAUGHTERRUN AWAY WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN! SILENCE!

Athena:…And? She is very mature and had my protection. I'm not like the rest of you. rhave done my researcn on humans and led her accordingly.

Apollo: Think of it this way, Athena. She would have just started losing baby teeth when she left home.

Athena: What?

Apollo: According to my son, they shed teeth. Like, they fall out and get new, bigger ones when they re old enougn. Didn't you know that?

Hades: That's disgusting. Our children do that?

Athena: I... That's not true! Your son is a liar!

Apollo: I AM THE GOD OF TRUTH!

It's a whole thing on Olympus

Hephaestus: Wait, they NEED to eat?!?! It isn't just for fun???

Hermes: What about water???

Dionysus: How do none ot vou know these things. Maybe you all should be camp directors for awhile-

Hades: Eight hours? They need EIGHT hours of sleep? A Day? There's no way NICO Is getting that much..

Dionysus: Oh, are they? Yeah lol. None of them are getting that much.

Aphrodite: Oh my gods... What happens if they don't get enough? Do they become ugly? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE MY KIDS UGLY?!

Zeus: They're so fragile. Why are they even allowed out of the camp?! Chiron, explain!

Chiron: You... Uh, ask them to do stuff for you?

All of Olympus: *flips a table*

#pjo #percy jackson #ares pjo #pjo hoo toa #pjo series #annabeth pjo #pjo memes #pjo gods #pjo zeus #pjo apollo #pjo aphrodite #pjo angst #?#pjoverse #percy pjo #pjo stuff #pjo hermes #pjo luke

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nebbys-personal-nebula · 2 months

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the biggest, most copium agent 4 theory from this clown of an agent four enjoyer

apologies for the wait on this! i wanted to unlock all of the dev diaries to make sure i could squeeze out every last bit of lore...

anyways SIDE ORDER SPOILERS INCLUDING POSTGAME

so let's start with the common knowledge. most people know by this point that agent 4 has a palette. it's one of the first you get in the game, after pearl and marina's. to the surprise of nobody, it is a splattershot...

according to what marina says about the memverse, palettes are a portion of a person's soul dragged into the memverse. so agent 4's soul got dragged in here somehow. how did this happen, and why? there are a few possibilities...

marina mentions in her eighth dev diary that she needs someone to handle system security. she writes: "maybe i can ask that person cuttlefish introduced me to for help there." this is still pretty vague, but we know from smollusk's note on agent 4's palette that it is definitely agent 4. quote:

"THIS is who mawina wanted in charge of memverse security? this unfwappable, free-spirited so-and-so? i would never abide it!"

the question is: if agent 4 was intended to be security for the memverse, then where are they? this leads us to the parallel canon boss!

note that figure in the center. even though all descriptions for this boss describe it as "a lot like eight", it is clearly an inkling with its pointed ears and hair.

the hairstyle is significant, too. all art of this boss, including its icon, display it with the "haircut" style. why does this matter? because official art of agent 4 also uses this style:

on top of that, people have reported that if you have splatoon 2 save data on your switch, the boss will use whatever hairstyle your inkling uses in that game (with that inkling, of course, being agent 4). unfortunately, i forgot to take a screenshot of my save, but maybe someone could reblog this and confirm?

another thing to note about that agent 4-looking robot in the center is that they're wielding the order shot, which is the same weapon you get from agent 4's palette.

so what exactly am i getting at with all this? let's read a little more of smollusk's notes on agent 4...

"buut...no weason such stwength shouldn't be used to pwotect a world of order. an order defense force is MUCH cooler than a new squidbeak splatoon anyway!"

this phrasing is particularly interesting to me because it implies smollusk wants to, or already has utilized agent 4's strength in some way. additionally, smollusk regards fans of chaos in a very similar way. for almost all of them, he argues they must be "punished". examples:

"she must be PUNISHED!" - callie's palette

"her chaotic lies must be PUNISHED!" - shiver's palette

"for the sake of order, they all must be PUNISHED!" - frye's palette

"it annoys me, so he must be PUNISHED!" - big man's palette

"he must be PUNISHED!" - sheldon's palette

"i sentence him to PUNISHMENT!" - dj octavio's palette

almost all of these characters are on the side of "chaos". callie and dj octavio were on the chaos side of the final fest, while shiver, frye, and big man rep the splatlands, basically the land of chaos. no idea what smollusk's beef is with sheldon though that guy was neutral LOL

on the other hand, smollusk is notably softer with characters on the side of "order", like marie, murch, and marina (obviously). he still critiques them, but he doesn't sentence them to "punishment".

agent 4 was on the side of chaos in the final fest. so why didn't smollusk sentence them to "punishment"?

perhaps it's because smollusk is already making use of them...by using their soul to control the parallel canon boss!

think about it! the bosses of the tower are basically security, right? they keep you from reaching the top! since smollusk knows from marina that agent 4 was meant to be security, it could have pulled in their soul to fulfill that job. that's why agent 4's palette is there, and that's why we don't physically see them in the dlc! because they're grayscaled in the outside world!

…it is also definitely possible that the boss is just INSPIRED by agent 4, taken from marina's memories, or something like that. but i like this theory because it explains why agent 4's soul ended up in the memverse.

one other thing - i think the popular opinion is that the parallel canon boss are "robots", due to the way they move, their eyes glowing, the filter on their voice, etc...this is probably true, but have you ever wondered if the boss is actually a real inkling (a digital…real…inkling? you get the idea) if it was just a robot like the others, why would it specifically have ears and hair? not only that, but you can get the parallel mask from the priz shop:

which you wear on your face. what if this is the real agent four, wearing this parallel mask? their gray coloring could be because they're grayscaled! after all, we never actually see a representation of grayscaling in-game. the name implies that they'd actually turn gray in some way, maybe in the color of their tentacles. but this could be the most dramatic extent of it!

this is definitely a stretch, but you can consider it food for the die-hard agent 4 angsters out there. love you guys <3

feel free to reblog if you have thoughts, add-ons or even counterpoints! i find this all really interesting

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #splatoon 3 side order #agent 4 #this theory didnt emerge out of my desire to give my agent 4 oc lore what do you MEANNNNN

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inalandofsadclowns · 2 months

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Aight, who wants to talk about the theoretically most optimal occasion for Merlin to come out about his magic to Arthur?

I'll go first: 1x10, Ealdor.

In the prior episodes Merlin was basically still getting to know Arthur. For eight episodes he was the brave and noble prince that Merlin had grown to respect, because Arthur apparently did not value his own life any higher than that of a servant, but who was also the son of Uther Pendragon. Arthur would save Merlin at any price, he got to learn that multiple times. But would he save a sorcerer? He couldn't know. (This question remained even when Arthur had lifted Merlin's sorcery allegations.)

But in 1x08 Arthur knowingly broke the law saving Mordred, a druid; he was in fact more devoted to the cause than Merlin himself.

For Merlin to reveal his secret he needs three prerequisites to exist:

To trust Arthur

The opportunity

To be prepared to leave Arthur forever

The Moment of Truth might just be the only episode where all these exist?

Let's look through these points one by one.

1.Merlin had been wanting for Arthur to know since forever. There's nothing he wants more desperately than to know if they're really, truly friends. Once he says to Will, he does trust him.

Will: Friends don't lord it over one another.

Merlin: He isn't like that.

Will: Really? Well, let's wait until the fighting begins and see who he sends in to die first. I guarantee you, it won't be him.

Merlin: I trust Arthur with my life.

And this gem here. The first time Merlin doesn't promise Hunith to keep Arthur in the dark.

Hunith: You can't let Arthur know about your gift.

Merlin: Why not? Maybe it's meant to be this way. And if he doesn't accept me for who I really am, then he's not the friend I hoped he was.

2. Opportunity. They have these several times throughout the series: fights for survival, heated arguments, quiet moments of vulnerability. There are several brilliant opportunities in this very episode.

The armor scene:

Merlin: Whatever happens out there today, please don't think any differently of me.

Arthur: I won't. It's alright to be scared, Merlin.

Merlin: That's not what I meant.

Arthur: What is it? If you've got something to say, now's the time to say it.

Oh. He tried. My boy tried, he was so close...My heart bleeds for him here.

Then, obviously, right after the battle.

Arthur: Wind like that doesn't just appear from nowhere. I know magic when I see it. One of you made that happen.

Merlin: Arthur...

Merlin just so manages to exhale Arthur's name with a so-so painful look in his eyes. Arthur knows what Merlin was about to say. Just for a moment, because Will gets shot saving Arthur.

He even tries to stop Will from taking the responsibility on his deathbed, even though Arthur knew, that the windstorm was conjured by one of them; if it wasn't Will, than that leaves only Merlin.

Will: Yeah, it was me. I'm the one that used the magic.

Merlin: Will, don't.

[Arthur looks at Merlin.]

3. The most important part. The greatest issue for Merlin has always been the threat of having to leave Arthur. But in this episode there is a cause just as important to him as Arthur - his village and his mother.

The first Merlin and Arthur exchange of the episode is Merlin saying goodbye to Arthur.

Merlin: It's been an honour serving you.

Arthur: You'll be coming back.

Merlin: Well, she's my mother. I have got to look after her before anyone else. You understand?

Then he was prepared to come clean for Ealdor's sake several times that day. Merlin is going to fight for his village, he's well prepared to use magic if needed - in front of Arthur, if needed, knowing full well that might be the last time they ever speak or meet. Whether Arthur forbids Merlin from returning to Camelot for Camelot's sake or Merlin's own sake, the result would be the same.

At the very end, even with his magic still a secret, he was going to stay in Ealdor with Hunith, had she not sent him after the others, so he really was prepared to part from Arthur.

[Arthur walks over to Morgana and Gwen. Hunith walks over to Merlin.]

Hunith: You better be going.

Merlin: I don't have to go.

Hunith: Yes, you do.

Merlin: If anything were to happen to you...

Hunith: I know where to find you. You have to go, Merlin. You belong at Arthur's side. I've seen how much he needs you. How much you need him. You're like two sides of the same coin.

That whole episode was Merlin attempting and failing to come out to Arthur.

After this, though, Merlin was too close to Arthur to ever consider prerequisite 3., other than in the form of dying for Arthur.

#bbc merlin #merlin meta #merlin analysis #merlin #arthur pendragon #hunith #merthur #enough you're going in the queue

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angel-kyo · 2 months

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Pay it no mind

Part XVI (kinda? Idk. Explanation in the note.)

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. I would say reader is ooc in this one, or it might feel like that. I don't know. There are also mentions of a difficult family situation (awful father, deceased mother, etc.)... Oh, and this almost makes me look anti-Gojo (I'm not, though).

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV

----------------------

“Aomori?” you repeated in disbelief. Isn’t that like…?”

Haruki leaned forward on his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands in frustration. You watched his fingers bury themselves in his brown curls and tug them.

“It’s about a ten-hour bus ride or four hours in the train...” he said without looking at you. His eyes were on the table, and you could only see the top of his head. “That if I’m lucky… Which I am not, obviously,” he grumbled and lifted his head to look at you.

You two were at the coffee shop where he worked, or rather, used to work. He had submitted his resignation the day before.

“That’s far.” You were not sure of what else to say. The notice of his departure was coming in too sudden. Only a few days ago you had been talking about maybe meeting up on New Year’s Eve, and now he was leaving? “For… For how long?”

Ikeda looked outside and shrugged. “He’s transferring me there so I guess he means at least until the end of high school, and then…” he frowned. In fact, he was not sure of what would happen after that. “I’m sure that jerk will come up with something else.”

Haruki looked back at you and, realizing what he had said, quickly apologized for speaking like that in front of you.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t believe he did this behind my back. I knew he could not stand seeing me, but I never thought he would plan something like this and ambush me any other Tuesday.”

He sighed, and you looked at him with sympathy. It was the most distressed you had ever seen him, and the most upset too.

Haruki, who always looked happy and unbothered when he was with you, had only ever appeared uncomfortable, and sometimes even angered, when he spoke about his father. At first, you had believed they just did not get along, but it was more than that; Haruki had told you once that his father seemed to resent him since his mother left.

“I’ve never blamed her,” he told you one day while you waited for his train, “she was sick and he was never at home, but when he was, he was horrible to her.”

He had then showed you her picture. A beautiful woman with long brown hair and bright eyes a few shades clearer than her locks, smiling and hugging an eight-year-old Haruki; he had definitely gotten the looks from her, and it was evident she had loved him dearly.

Due to her illness, Haruki’s mother had passed away just a couple years after leaving her husband, before she was able to fulfill her promise to his son to come back for him. Hence, Haruki had ended up stuck with a resentful father who was almost never at home, but when he was, he was as horrible to his son as he had been to the mother he resembled. And now, he was sending him to live with his uncle in a distant prefecture to attend a new school.

He had given Haruki little less than a week to, and the boy quoted, “wrap up any business in Tokyo.”

Apparently, that included you, who did your best to comfort him, even if there was not much you could say or do.

“I will miss you,” Ikeda said after you assured him it would be alright and that two or three years would sure fly by, and then he would not need to listen to what his father or his uncle said. It seemed his mood had improved a little at that.

“I will miss you too,” you told him, still wrapping your head around the idea of not seeing him anymore.

If only you could see curses, maybe there would be another way out for you, maybe we could have more time.

You pushed that thought away. That was selfish thinking, was it not? Of course, you would not want Haruki to live in gore and pain as a sorcerer. There had to be better, more peaceful options for him somewhere.

“I like you a lot.” His words pulled you out of your head, and when your eyes focused on him, you noticed his face was flushed, but he was looking right at you. “I think I could have loved you. Not that I don’t now,” he smiled softly, “but in the way I wanted to love you.”

There was a tinge of sadness in his voice, but your heart was beating faster as he spoke. Did that mean you wanted to love him too?

“I…” you started, but he shook his head and smiled.

“It’s fine. I thought we had more time, so I did not tell you sooner, but now, I just realized I wanted to let you know in person.”

Haruki had not planned to confess that day. He was only going to tell you he was leaving and ask you to stay in touch but realizing that it might be the last time he was going to see you in, perhaps, a long time, he felt he needed to tell you. He had wanted to tell you since the first time you had accepted going out with him that summer, but he then thought it was better not to rush and just let your friendship take its course.

At the end of the day, people should honor their feelings.

That he believed whole-heartedly. That is why Gojo’s attitude had annoyed him, acting as a jealous boyfriend around you if he was nearby but still claiming to be just your friend. If he wanted more, he should admit it instead of doing whatever he thought he was doing that day he accompanied him to the station.

“Haruki, I like you too,” you said sincerely.

But do you like me as I like you? the boy wondered.

He would not ask you that as he would not ask for more at this point. What could he ask, that you waited for him? He was not that arrogant to believe you had to do it nor that idealistic to make promises he knew time could swallow. Knowing that you had cared about him was enough.

He gave you a closed-eye smile. “I’m so glad.”

***

But saying it had not changed anything. You and Haruki had agreed to staying in touch and he had hugged you tightly before letting you go.

Maybe he knew we would drift apart.

You had kept texting and calling each other after that. Once he was with his uncle, he had given you his address, so you could exchange letters; he even sent you a few postcards with some pretty views around his new city. For a little while, you thought you could remain friends and just live on it, but his absence became increasingly painful, and when you both got busy with school again, and he was barely replying to your messages and his letters felt distant, the realization that maybe you had truly loved and lost was devastating.

It happened slowly but not painlessly. There was just never a good time for a quick call anymore, the messages were fewer and shorter, and you probably did not reply to the last one because there was nothing to say, and finally, the letters. Oh, the letters... Once funny and vibrant as your friend had been, they became nothing but curt and disappointing. It was hard to believe that two people who once had so much to talk about could barely bring themselves to write more than a few lines for each other.

I guess people can enter your life seamlessly, but they can hardly leave like that.

Your friends comforted you to their best, and Satoru made it his mission to ensure you would not feel lonely doing the things you liked anymore. Despite your protests, he attached himself to your hip as he had done it when you were kids, even on the days when you did not want to leave your room.

And when, months after Haruki’s departure, you sat down in front of the training fields, tired of waiting for a letter that would not come, Satoru held your hand firmly as you accepted your loss and stayed by your side unfaltering, the same way you would do for him when Suguru left you all later down the road.

That was how, as the seasons changed, you quietly let go of your friend who had been a child of the spring himself.

----------------------

Note: I almost did not want to include this part? I mean, I felt like the other guy needed some explaining, and as much as I enjoyed it, I would say this is almost a filler, so I'm sorry of it's bad. Anyways, if the next part is not the last one, it will sure bring us quite closer. I've not forgotten where I left Satoru, promise!

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XVII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk fanfic #jjk drabbles #gojo x y/n #reader x character #gojo fanfic #fluff #jujutsu kaisen #pay it no mind #i might delete this later #or maybe not #gojo satoru #jjk gojo

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thewulf · 1 year

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Big Blue World || Joel Miller

Request: Can you do a Joel Miller x Franks Younger sister reader?? I haven't seen any fics with her. Maybe she's a bright ray of sunshine to Joel's grumpiness?... Read rest here

A/N: Wasn't planning on posting this first but inspiration struck and you've gotta take it! Hope you guys enjoy.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Y/N

Word Count: 9.4k+ (Another long one!)

TW: Talk of suicide, general TLOU warnings

One – Seven Years Post Outbreak: The Dinner

The first time you laid eyes on him was only a few years after you and Frank moved in with Bill. It was simple really. Both you and Frank fell into Bill’s trap ditch. You managed to break your ankle on the fall down. Panicked and sure death was in your immanent future you burst out into tears. You weren’t made for this kind of life. This impossibly hard life. You, Frank, and a group of nine others were venturing to the Boston QZ after your home was demolished. You’d been walking for what felt like months, you could really never be too sure.

It didn’t make sense how you of all people were one of the last surviving in the group. Often getting by with just the skin of your teeth your only saving grace being that you were quick. You could run for your life. That, and you had Frank. He was eight years older and the best big brother you could have ever dreamed of. Even pre-outbreak the two of you were thick as thieves plotting to take over the world. He saved your life more times than you could count. You hated it. Being weak and shit. You wanted to be better for Frank. You had to survive with him. He couldn’t do it alone either.

So, when you fell into Bill’s hole and screeched you were just thankful whatever it was would take you both out. Neither having to live in this sick world alone. To your pleasant surprise Bill not only let you stay but he knew how to fix your ankle properly, without having pain in the future. You were sure Bill and Frank fell in love that first night. You didn’t know how that all that worked but you were so happy that your brother found his happiness, his purpose.

Life slowly turned back to a weird fucked up new normal for the three of you. Bill and Frank fell madly in love with each other within a few months. They never excluded you though, making you feel as though you were meant to be here with them. You found it easy to pretend you were back in life pre-outbreak. Finding hobbies around town you got really into knitting and gardening. You just wanted to be seen as useful to Bill. He was kind enough to let you stay so you wanted, needed, to bring something to the table.

You were interrupted from your solace hearing the men arguing at the front of the house. So much for weeding. Being far too curious for your own good you listened in on the two of them as they bickered.

“Oh, fuck you!” Frank yelled rather dramatically.

“Hey! Would you stop?” You knew Bill was rolling his eyes at your brother’s antics. Whatever the hell he could be up to now.

“Do I ask for things ever? Why am I even saying that? This is for me. This is for the three of us!” Your brother yelled. You inched closer dying to know what this blow out was about. The two men could be so damn dramatic when they wanted to be.

“Who cares what they look like?” Bill continued. What the fuck were they on about? You could only wonder as you sat behind the tree near the front listening in.

“I do! Our home isn’t just our house. It’s everything around us!” Frank yelled again throwing his arms up in the air. Oh, he was on the beautification subject again. Frank wanted everything pretty, but Bill never let him. Resource management was key.

“Give me a fuckin’ break.” Bill returned your over dramatic brothers cries. Oops. You knew that was a mistake. Bill always tried to argue but Frank always won.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot. I live in this world. You live in a psycho bunker where 9/11 was an inside job, and the government are all Nazi’s.” Your older brother seemed to calm down even though you knew he was downright mocking Bill.

“The government are all Nazi’s!” He boomed. You couldn’t help but to let out a silent laugh. You agreed with him of course. Frank just knew how to push his buttons.

“Well, yeah, now! But not then!” Frank defended, “I am asking for some paint and some gasoline for the lawn mower. That’s all. I’ll do everything else myself.”

“It is not man-“

Frank interrupted him clearly agitated. You were getting a full-on show now. You hated to admit it, but you loved when they had blow outs. It was your entertainment for the day, “If you say resource management so help me, I will run through one of your trip wires.”

“Okay, okay. Just tell me why.” Bill seemed to reason. Boo. You knew as soon as it calmed down the show was over. It was fun while it lasted. Standing slowly you were going to make your way back to the garden only to hear Frank continue.

“Paying attention to things. It’s how we show love.” You listened in again. What the hell was he talking about now? It sounded like bullshit, “This is my street too. Just let me love it the way I want to. And I’m fixing up some of the shops.”

Ohh, it just got juicy again.

“Woah, woah, woah.”

Frank rolled his eyes, “Not the stupid ones. Just the wine shop, and the furniture store. And the clothing boutique.”

“The boutique? Are we hosting formal garden patties now?”

“No!” Frank couldn’t help but to roll his eyes at the man. That was so like him, “But we are going to have friends.”

“Excuse me.”

“We’re going to make friends and we will invite them to visit.” Oh, hell yeah, this was getting good now. You could use some friends anyway. You prayed Frank won this battle with Bill.

“We don’t have friends Frank. We will never have friends. Because there are no friends to be had. Other than Y/N.” You grinned hearing that last bit thrown in. You loved that he always made sure to include you. You grew on him that’s for sure.

“Well, I’ve actually been talking to a nice woman on the radio.”

“You what?!” He screamed. Oh hell, Frank was in trouble now and he knew it. You watched as he darted to the front door ignoring Bill.

Bill turned right to you shaking his head. Busted, “I know you heard that whole thing. You’re not sneaky.”

You shrugged, “Who said I was trying to be?”

“You and your brother are going to fucking kill me.” He groaned making his way in to talk to Frank.

You only smiled as he departed. Bill had also grown on you.

Next thing you knew you were meeting the nice woman named Tess and her friend Joel. You couldn’t but to take your eyes off the man. He wasn’t like anything you’ve come across in Baltimore and now here. He was so freaking handsome. You hadn’t a clue how to handle it. It’d been years since you talked to another human let alone a beautiful man.

At dinner you made sure to look at anything but him, keeping your eyes locked on either Tess or Frank. Luckily Bill was his usual grumpy self after losing to Frank and kept his gun out and trained on the two strangers. You were so thankful he kept their attention instead of you.

“Can you not, please?” Frank sighed looking over to his boyfriend. You bit you lip trying to stifle the smile that threatening to spill over. They were always bickering. Like an old married couple. They couldn’t even hold it together in front of the guests.

“I’m the same way.” You heard Joel speak for the first time. He seemed to let Tess take the lead most of the time. Thankful you weren’t standing. You were sure your knees would be wobbly. He had that smooth southern drawl with a thick husky bite that’d draw just about anybody in. Fuck. You couldn’t have possibly been this horny to be thinking such things of a literal stranger. You had to reign yourself in quick.

“Oh, you’re a paranoid schizophrenic too?” Frank quickly chided in. You only leaned back rolling your eyes earning a quick glance from the handsome stranger.

“I’m not schizophrenic.” Bill sat there looking between everyone. That killed the whole mood. Great, just wonderful. The first real people you meet, and you’ve all ruined the chances of them coming back already.

Tess cleared her throat interrupting the silence, “Well, can I just say, gun aside, which I get,” She laughed but continued, “how nice this is to have a civilized meal in such a beautiful place? It’s been so long. I mean, I just, uh, I wanna thank you. Even if we don’t end up working together. I really needed this.”

“We are working together.” Frank cheers confidently. You only leaned forward smiling, “We are.” He looked at Bill who only looked horrifically apprehensive about this whole situation. Frank was pushing him beyond his limits.

Before you knew it Frank and Tess were walking inside giddily talking about something they chatted about on the radio. Leaving only you, Bill, and Joel alone. Great, the three mutes. You leaned back waiting. It wasn’t your place. This was for the big dogs, and you certainly weren’t one of them.

“If my uh, if mine brought strangers into our situation I wouldn’t be too happy either. But of all the people you could’ve found on the radio we’re actually decent people.” You leaned back further letting your mind wander as the two of them talked. You only prayed Bill wouldn’t drive him away completely.

You sighed as they left. Bill drove them out. You stayed a couple of feet behind and watched the two conversations unfold. You gave Tess a wave and smile before she was out. Joel didn’t bother turning around as he waved the group off. Leaving you with only a small frown. They’d be back soon enough. You were sure of it.

Two – Eleven Years Post Outbreak: The Supply Run

That familiar voice that you hadn’t heard in so long came from downstairs. Quickly, you ran down the steps to greet the now acquaintance that you wished would show up more often than he did.

“Joel! Tess!” You jumped down the last step only to be greeted with Joel and Bill, “Wait where’s Tess?” Fear ran through you. Did she get infected? Was she gone already? She was Frank’s only friend outside of here.

“Frank just took her to the boutique.” Bill grumbled sitting down in the chair at the dining table.

You let out the breath you were holding, “Good!” You clapped thankful that the worst hadn’t come over your somewhat friend. If you could use that word, “Maybe she’ll pick out some of the clothes I made.” You grinned knowing you just stocked the store up with your latest sweaters and hats. What else were you supposed to do with your time other than make way too much clothing that the three of you would never go through?

“You make clothes?” Joel asked seemingly interested in the conversation.

You beamed just happy he noticed you. He hardly noticed you before, only briefly talking to you each time they had come back. It seemed they stopped about once a year. Tess always giving Frank a heads up on the radio before the made the trek up north.

You wished you could get Joel to see you. But you were just Frank’s little naïve sister. That’s all you ever seemed to be. Not that you blamed him, he was right after all. You really were just Frank’s naïve little sister having way too much optimism for this cold world.

You craved any attention Joel gave you. From the second you laid eyes onto him four years prior and every brief interaction each year since you were entranced by him. He was so strong and composed. Something so opposite of you. Someone so sure of himself every time he came around. And Jesus, look at the man. He was so damn attractive it nearly drove you mad. He only seemed to get more handsome each time he and Tess walked through those gates. You thought about him far too often. Far too often for somebody who saw you as Franks little sister.

“I did and do! There should be some that fit you if you want some yourself?” You gave him a hopeful smile. Maybe he’d accept?

Joel looked somewhat impressed? You couldn’t tell. It wasn’t a look you’ve seen from him before, “Yeah?”

“Mhmm.” You grinned, daring to take a step closer, “Bill’s even modeling my latest collection. Classic springtime.” You waited patiently for him to decide. You weren’t sure how to handle yourself if he decided to come with you. You’d literally dreamed of alone time with Joel and here was a chance at it… you didn’t think you were ready.

Bill huffed turning away. Because of course he did. Earning a brilliant scowl from you. Truth be told he held a lot of love for you in his heart too. Your constant reassurance and optimism grew on him over time, not that he’d ever dream of telling you. He wasn’t mushy. He could hardly handle you in your sober state. In your emotional one? He’d for sure go mad.

As if by a miracle Frank and Tess came barging in giggling about who knows what. Saving you from a too awkward encounter with both grumpy men. You couldn’t help but to smile at the Tess and Frank. They would have been friends’ pre-outbreak too. You could just tell. Two souls that connected so effortlessly.

Joel noticed you watching them. He always noticed. He was always watching you when you weren’t watching him. He couldn’t help it. He was drawn to you, and he was really God damn tired of fighting it. Every time he came, he hoped he wouldn’t run into you. He wanted to but for his sanity’s sake he couldn’t run into you. But you always showed up. With that damn brilliant smile and cheerful greetings. Making him feel way too special. He craved it. He loved it.

“Y/N!” Tess came rushing over to you placing both hands on either of your shoulders, “You made these? These are actually good. They have designs in them and shit. I didn’t really believe Frank when he said you were good at it, but he was right. I’m impressed.”

You shrugged, “Well, when you have all the time in the world.”

That earned a chuckle out of the woman. She seemed so happy and relaxed here. A side Joel rarely saw. A side that was seemingly reserved for you and Frank. It made sense though, both of you were infectious. Both Joel and Tess let their usual stoic guard down around you both.

“Joel. Go now. Y/N will show you.” She ordered. So sure of herself. Something you so deeply admired about the slightly older woman. She lived that life. The rugged one. Yours was so damn peaceful compared to hers. A country club compared to the life she lived.

You nodded towards the door, “Come on, I’ll show you.” Not daring to betray Tess’s orders you nodded for him to hurry up.

He nodded. His mind was made up for him by Tess, “Alright. Lead the way.” He tried to look grumpy. He didn’t know how it was actually paying off though. Because he was way too damn excited to finally be alone with you.

You held the door open waiting for him to join you outside. You led the way a couple of steps in front of him. Tired of the silent walk you had to say something, “How’ve you been holding up Joel?”

He sped up a couple of steps taking that as an invitation to walk beside you. He had no God damn idea of how to act around you. He had a stupid big fat crush on you that Tess, and now Frank, knew about. He was sure that’s why she sent the two of you alone.

It happened slowly for Joel. Initially, he really only did see you as Frank’s little sister. You didn’t do much for him. But over time, over the shortest of visits he slowly started to look forward to seeing you bright shining face. You always greeted him with the happiest of smiles. Like it was the pre-outbreak world, like nothing was wrong. Tess picked up on it over time when he bugged her to visit with supplies. Claiming he needed to see Bill but always brining you up somehow.

Joel knew it was dangerous. Falling for someone in a world like this. Someone like you. You were just too pure for this world. He couldn’t see you outside of these chain link fences. He didn’t want to imagine you trying to survive out there. You didn’t deserve it. You deserved so much more.

“I’m okay. We’re okay. Getting by just fine. Couple supply runs here and there.” His accent came out strong the longer he was away from the QZ. The longer he was able to relax the thicker it came out.

“Good.” You nodded. You too had no idea how to talk to him. Coming from such separate worlds it was like your brain couldn’t fetch the words to converse with him. Which was really bad for you.

“And you?” He offered. He was trying. Something you hadn’t seen from the gruff man. You turned looking at his face as the setting sun seemed to hit all his angles just right. Eyes tracing every feature you soaked everything about him in.

“I’m decent.” You sighed knowing that was a terrible answer. So, you did what you did best and just started talking, “Been busy knitting a store up. Trying some new techniques in the garden I read from a 2001 Farmers Almanac. I think it’s working too. I’ve got a ton of cucumbers. I’ve gotta pickle them or they’ll go bad. Unless you guys want some?” You offered knowing you needed to stop before you babbled far too much. It was either way too much talking or stone-cold silence when it came with you and awkward conversations. And this was incredibly awkward.

He was giving you a different look. A much softer one. One that’s as if he’s seen you for the first time, “We’ll take some. But you’ve gotta pickle the rest. We’ll be back and then I’ll take some pickles. Deal?”

You giggled feeling your cheeks heat up as he kept his eyes locked with yours. You watched as you saw his eyes turn up slightly as small smile formed on his face. You had a feeling this was a very rare occurrence for Joel. Not often finding that smile. And you were right. It was terribly foreign to Joel, but you brought it out. Somehow, some way he felt a little lighter when you were there.

“Deal! We’ll have way too much for us anyway. The garden is getting a bit out of hand, but it keeps me busy.” You stopped pointing towards the building, “Here we are.”

He held his hand out, “Ladies first.”

“Course.” You smiled leading him in, “There should be some stuff over there that you might like. I’ve got some extra stuff in the back if you don’t like any of it.”

He nodded letting himself go and search. You sat back on the countertop that used to contain the cash register.

“You really made these?” You heard him before you saw him.

“The ones without the tags yeah!” You brought your legs up and sat with them crossed beneath you. Simply waiting on him to grab whatever he needed.

Before you knew it, he walked up to you holding a few sweaters and shirts, “Is it alright if I take these?”

You nodded, “Sure. I’ve got plenty more. It only takes a few hours to make these now. I’m afraid I’m going to run out of yarn.”

“I can get you some.” He replied without a hesitation.

“Yeah?”

“Sure. Consider it a trade. Next time I see you I’ll have some. What colors you want?”

You smiled a bright smile to him. You’ve grown so fond over the four years you’ve known each other. But it felt like you’d suddenly broke through to him. Whatever it was you were so thankful. This was a Joel you didn’t know. A Joel you could surely get used to. Even if you only saw him every year or so.

“Pinks and purples. I ran out of those so quick. Didn’t know how much I liked them.”

He nodded, “Pink and purple yarn coming right up.”

“Thank you, Joel.”

He shrugged, “Consider it a trade.”

Three – Fifteen Years Post Outbreak: The Seed Trade

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Looking around to make sure Bill wasn’t going to pop up.

Frank shrugged, “He’s got so many fucking guns he won’t notice a measly 9mm missing.”

You sighed feeling that anxiety rising in your chest, “Fine. Who’s coming for this trade?”

“Joel.”

“Joel?” You sounded surprised. It had only been six months or so since you’d seen him last. Not that you were complaining in the slightest. You’d always welcome him back.

“And Tess.” He smirked, “But I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You giggled knowing he was teasing about your crush on Joel.

“They say after six months of crushing on someone it’s love. It’s been what? Eight fucking years of the two of you flirting like mad when he comes around. I think it’s past love at this point.”

“What of it Frank? It’s not like he’s moving in here. It’s not like I’m moving to the Boston QZ.” Rolling your eyes, you leaned onto the chain link fence.

Franked rolled his eyes right back at you, “Why couldn’t he move here?”

“Uhm, because he has his own life with Tess?”

He shrugged, “You know people moved for far less in the pre-outbreak days.”

“Well, we aren’t living in those days, are we? We’re living in fucking reality Frank. He has a life. I have mine.”

“You haven’t even asked.”

“It’s not my place to.” You admitted. Sure, you’d thought of it, but it wasn’t your place to in the slightest. This was Bill’s place after all. The two of you so immersed in the debate back and forth neither of you heard the pair coming up on you both. It wasn’t even like they were being that silent.

“What were you guys talking about?” Tess asked popping out of thin air. Joel stood behind her smirking at the heated conversation between the two siblings. He and Tommy bearing a striking resemblance to the bickering siblings.

“Nothing!” You turned smiling at the pair you’ve grown to love over the years.

“Joel!” Frank said right after you. You turned towards your sibling eyeing him up and down. The nerve on him beyond you at this point. Frank was really just tired of waiting to see you two together. He knew there was nothing going on between Joel and Tess, like you were worried about, but he also knew Joel was apprehensive. As were you.

“And Tess!” You turned towards the two of them again, “Good to see you both so soon.” You smiled brightly towards Joel. Your best smile reserved for your favorite man. That certainly didn’t help your case with Frank though.

“I got you some more colors.” He handed you a duffel bag stuffed full, “Red, purple and blue this time.”

“You’re spoiling me, Joel Miller.” You cheered happily accepting the gift. Tess and Frank could only step back and watch the innocent interaction. For the life of her Tess couldn’t understand how soft Joel got with you. Only with you. Frank too marveled at your nerves with the man. Your usual confident self only seemed to waver in his presence.

“Or” You turned back towards him with wide eyes. Getting ready to tease him, “Is it because you know I’ll make you nice clothing?” You continued on, welcoming the harmless flirting that always seemed to arise between the two of you.

“You caught on quick.” He threw you a rare wink.

You giggled softly, acutely aware of the audience intently listening in behind you, “You’re lucky I adore you both. I’m more than happy. Any requests?” It really was your favorite. Gift giving was your love language to others. It just made you so warm and fuzzy inside to see everybody’s reactions to getting something they love.

Tess coughed, not caring that she was interrupting the moment. She needed some items and if you were offering, she would be taking. She missed the harsh glare from Frank though, “I really could use some new socks.”

You turned towards your friends, “You got it. Stick around long enough today and I go grab you a few pairs?”

She nodded her head quickly, “I honestly could really use them. You mind Joel?”

“As long as Bill doesn’t.”

Frank shook his head quickly, “Not at all! We’ll make sure to have dinner ready for everybody.”

“We wouldn’t want to impose…” Joel began before you bucked up the courage and interrupted him. You wanted him to stay.

“You wouldn’t be at all. Bill and Frank love cooking. Enjoy it.”

Joel nodded folding into your assurance quickly. That’s all he really needed to hear before he agreed to staying.

“Thank God.” Tess grumbled, “I could use some good food too. Joel, we gotta get out here more often.” Tess notes.

“I agree!” You nodded trying not to be too gleeful about the innocent proposition.

“Yes please.” Frank nods. He adores hosting and wants people to come around more often. Especially if those people include Joel. He so desperately wanted to see you happy with him. Even if it meant losing you to the Boston QZ. He knew you’d visit.

Joel let out a rare laugh seeing the group so happy. So fucking carefree. So, unlike the norm. God, he missed the old days. How simple that life really was, “I’m not stopping anyone.”

Tess smiled, “It’s settled then. We’re coming for you more often.”

Your face lit up at the confirmation, “Good. Well come on then.” You flashed your smile towards Joel, “You know where everything is, get comfy.” Beckoning them to come in with your hand you turned back towards Tess, “What color this time? I’ll even make you blue ones if you want!” Your cheeks began hurting from the grin that wouldn’t fall from your face. It warmed your heart that Joel always brought you more yarn, always. Even five years after that conversation with him, he never failed to bring you some.

She shook her head, “Just use some scrap yarn or something, nothing special.”

“You deserve to have a color you want Tess. Something that makes you happy. Plus you know I have a pair in every color ready to go.” Your eyes softened as you really looker her over now. The last five years not being kind on her, on anyone really. Her initial soft features began hardening over time. Wrinkles formed where her scowl always was. The world wasn’t kind to you. But the world was downright cruel to Tess and Joel.

“Anything is fine really…”

You stopped immediately not satisfied with her answer. Joel almost ran you over as he was paying attention too closely to the conversation and not what you were doing, “Well, what’s your favorite color?”

She laughed, “That’s something I haven’t thought of in a while.”

Giving her a sad look these conversations never failed to pull at your heartstrings. You all were unfortunately born into a world that would simply never exist anymore. A world that was thriving. A world that was so fucking foreign it hurt. You were almost jealous of the humans being born in the post-outbreak world. They would never know the luxury of living that old life. This was all they knew. This was their normal. This September will mark the fifteenth year that you were living this new normal. This insanely fucked up normal.

“Mine was pink. But it just doesn’t seem as happy anymore.” You admitted, “I think my new favorite is blue. Sky blue. That’s happiness to me.” You shot her a small smile.

“Why’s that?” She asked as the group started their short walk back to Bill’s house.

You shrugged hoping what you were admit didn’t make you look too soft, “When I get tired of gardening I like to lay down and just look up. Watch the clouds like I did when I was a little kid. Find figures in the clouds. The sky never changes. There’s just something so cathartic about it.”

You didn’t see it because he was walking behind you but a ghost of a smile crossed Joel’s lips. He couldn’t help it. He was so fucking drawn into everything about you. So gentle in a world that wanted to rip you apart at any moment. He, of course, made a note of it. He needed to find sky blue yarn. It wouldn’t be easy now. It started getting difficult to find untouched yarn in the QZ. It was even harder finding it outside. But it never bothered him. The smile alone on your face when he handed you a bag full of yarn was worth all the trouble to get it.

Tess nodded, “I think mines green. Grass green. Tree green.”

“And why’s that?” You asked her the same question, curious as to what she came up with.

“Green means the weather gets better. It just makes life easier.” She let out a small sigh of frustration. A growing frustration of trying to stay alive. It wears down on you far too quickly.

Again, another wave of sadness rushed through your heart. Why were you, of all people in the world, given the chance to live this somewhat normal life in the middle of nowhere? Why wasn’t Joel given the chance? Tess? The longer you lived here relatively unstressed the more guilty you felt through it all. Especially seeing just how much the real world had aged the pair.

“Then green it is. I have a really nice forest green pair I think you’ll like. Did the last pair fit okay?”

She nodded opting not to reply verbally feeling the emotions bubble up from deep within her. Emotions she buried so deep down she wasn’t sure if they’d ever come back up. But your gentleness with her, your determination to break down those walls she put up so high was beginning to crack the walls. How you could be so thoughtful was beyond her greatest comprehension. You had to be selfish in the world. You were the opposite.

“Okay!” You clapped at the group made it back to the house, “I’m going to run to the boutique to grab what I need. See you guys later.”

“Want some company?”

Your stupid heart sped right on up hearing that husky voice from behind you. Biting your cheek, you wanted to hide the smile that was forming automatically. God, you’d dreamed of moments like these. Moments where Joel sought you out instead of you seeking him out. Moments where you knew he liked you. Wanted to be around you.

“I’ll always take your company Joel.” Turning towards him you did not want to see Frank and Tess’s reaction. There was a 100% chance they’d run into the house giggling like little schoolgirls gossiping about the two of you. They turned into middle school girls the second any kind of drama could be sniffed in the air.

You could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of a blush dance across the apples of his cheeks.

Giving him a soft smile, you started walking to the boutique with Joel in tow.

“How are you doing Joel?” You asked hoping he’d give you the real answer not the bullshit fluffy stuff you were used to. You always asked him this same question each time he came.

“I’m… tired.” He admitted while running his hand through his grown-out hair.

Looking down to the ground you hid the frown as you kept pace with Joel now, “I can’t even imagine Joel. I’m so sorry... I”

He cut you off by placing a friendly hand on your shoulder. The contact immediately making you freeze up. It’d been too long since you’d been touched by anybody other than your brother or Bill. Your eyes clouded over with unshed tears as you tried to bite back the emotion that suddenly overcame you.

“You don’t need to apologize.” You continued to walk as you racked your brain for anything to say to him, but it seemed to have short circuited.

“I feel guilty.” Not having a clue why you were admitting it to him you blinked a few times hiding your emotions best as you could.

Joel didn’t understand why you would feel that way. He just gave you a curious look, waiting for you to continue. When you didn’t hear his reply you finally bucked up the courage to get another look back at him. His eyes urging for you to elaborate.

“Why me? Why did I get to live this life. This easy, simple life? How did I luck into it? I guess it doesn’t really matter. It’s all ending soon anyway.” You decided to drop the bomb on Joel. Finally feeling like you could tell somebody.

“Why do you say that?”

You sighed finally spitting out what’s been bothering you for the last few months, “I think Frank’s sick.”

“What kinda sick?”

“Not infected. I think it’s like pre-outbreak sick Joel.” You turned away wiping the stupid tears that slipped down your cheek. You were worried. So, fucking worried for your best friend.

Joel still looked confused, “Okay. Why do you think that?”

“He’s tired all the time. Complains to Bill about losing feeling in his hands and feet. He doesn’t remember things like he use to. I don’t know. Maybe I’m looking too much into it, but something just doesn’t feel right.”

Joel frowned trying to think of words to comfort you, but he came up terribly short. He didn’t do this. He couldn’t do this. The last time he had to was when Sarah was alive. An entire lifetime ago.

You continued knowing he hadn’t a clue what to say, “Bill won’t talk to me about it either. Says nothing’s wrong. I don’t know what to do Joel. They can’t just ignore it.

“Do you think there’s medicine? I can try and find something.”

You shook your head, “Don’t think so. Don’t think they had a cure back then. Sure as hell don’t have one now.”

“Well, you don’t know that Y/N.”

“It’s not cancer. It’s in his brain or something. That’s what the books are saying. I don’t know Joel. It just doesn’t feel right.”

He nodded, “Keep an eye on him.”

You stopped in once you reached the store. Quickly you ran in grabbing what you needed before meeting him back on the street to start your walk back to Bill’s house. Both of you walked back in silence, unsure of what to say.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty.” Joel broke the comfortable silence that consumed the walk home.

“Yeah.” You mumbled not really feeling like debating right now.

“Really. You and Frank were meant to find this place. You were meant to do everything here. You’ve been a constant in Tess’s life. My life, for the last eight years? God, how’s it been that long?” Joel smiled thinking back on his times with you,.

You smiled, “Don’t make me feel so old Joel.”

That drew a heavenly laugh out of your favorite guy. Something that came around so rarely that you cherished every second, “You’re still a kid.” Joel didn’t believe that. As cruel as this world was to everyone it still looked so beautiful on you. You hadn’t aged like everyone he knew. A woman who could pass in her twenties easily.

Scoffing you shook your head, “Hardly! I’m seasoned at life.”

“You sure are.” Joel nodded. He smiled as he studied you this time around. He wished and prayed he wouldn’t have fallen for you, but he couldn’t resist. Not with that smile. Not with your kindness. He wished this was easier. There was no easy way to go about it. That’s why neither of you cared to admit your feelings. What good would it really do but complicate things further?

You made it back to the house where you were ambushed by Frank who looked far too happy, “Y/N! They got us strawberry seeds! Your favorite, remember?”

Walking over to him you inspected the seeds. Looking up to Tess you smiled softly to her, “Thank you. I haven’t had a, uh, strawberry in what?” You looked to Frank brushing the tears away from your eyes, “Fifteen years now?”

He nodded with a big happy smile, “Yeah, fifteen years.”

You turned to Joel, “Thank you so much!”

“Sure, we would’ve brought them sooner if I would’ve known you liked them so much.” He admitted. He wasn’t sure how you did that to him. Got him admitting embarrassing things in front of everybody he knew.

“I guess I just forgot about them. Such a luxury I didn’t even think of. They were our mom’s favorite. She found a way to incorporate them in our food almost everyday.”

Frank wrapped you in a hug. He knew just how soft you were. How sad you got when you thought about mom or dad. They just disappeared right out of your life. Dad never made it back from work that day. Mom got infected the second day. Neither of you could kill her so you ran. Ran so far away until you landed in the Baltimore QZ. Until it then was demolished.

Giving him a squeeze to let him know you were alright you pulled yourself away from him, “Thank you both. Really. Now you’ll just have to come back in a few months when they’re grown. We can make some strawberry shortcake.” The gears started turning in your head. There were so many new recipes you guys could use with strawberries now on the menu.

Joel nodded. Tess agreed, “We already agreed to coming around more often anyway. Now it’s just an extra excuse.”

Frank pulled her to the living room to talk about who knows what.

“Alright, I’ve gotta get to work.” You held up the green yarn. Walking over to the chair in the window you got comfortable.

“Want some company?” Your favorite voice broke your concentration.

“You know my answer, Joel Miller.” With some newfound confidence you winked at him as you said so.

Four – Eighteen Years Post Outbreak: The Trip Back to Boston

“No. No, no, no, no, fuck no!” You punched the pillow sitting next to you with all your might. This couldn’t be fucking happening to you. They couldn’t be making you leave. Feeling your heart tip into two you let the tears fall freely. How could your brother do this to you? You knew his health was the reason, but you couldn’t fathom why he wouldn’t let you stay. You’ve been through this whole thing with him. It felt like he was just abandoning you.

“Y/N… you have to.” Frank’s sad face broke you. You didn’t care about his feelings anymore. You broke down completely now letting the loud sobs free.

“Please Frank, please don’t make me go.” Choking on your words you could hardly comprehend why he was saying this. Why he was making you go.

“You can’t be here any longer. You have to go.” He couldn’t look at you not with the look you had on your face.

“Just tell me why Frank! I can help. I can help you both. I’ll do more. If that’s what it is, you know I’ll do more Frank. Please don’t make me go. Please Frank.”

He shook his head letting his own fresh set of tears fall, “I’m dying Y/N. I’ve got a few months, maybe a year left. You can’t be here for that.”

“I’ll die out there.” You shook your head back and forth suddenly terrified of what traveling to Boston actually meant. The real world. The sick world. The world that wanted to kill you.

“Not with Joel. Not with Tess.”

A cry broke from your throat, “Just like that? After all this time? I can be there for you in the end. I can help Bill.”

“Bill’s going to have to move on to and I’m not sure if you fit into that plan.”

“Oh.” You continued to cry. Curling up within yourself you let yourself cry until you couldn’t anymore. Frank didn’t dare try and comfort you. He knew that wasn’t welcomed. So, he sat there. He wasn’t going to leave you. Not yet anyway.

After calming down you finally processed what the this all meant. It meant the end of the road for you and Frank. It meant starting over, completely. You knew it would end sooner or later but it still stung. It didn’t feel like enough time.

Standing suddenly, you caught Frank’s attention who was just sitting there with his head down, “I’m staying in the guest house.”

“Y/N…”

“Night.” You shut the door behind you, loudly.

It was still bright out when you laid down to go to sleep. Joel and Tess would be here in the morning to get you. To take you to your new home. Turning over in your bed you looked out the bedroom window studying your home once more. The flowers that bloomed out front reminded you of all the times you and Frank spent gardening. Making your home beautiful.

No longer would you be able to make trips to the boutique. No longer would you be able to stock it up for your guests. No longer would you get to live in this little fantasy land.

Woken by a hand on your shoulder you pushed the hand away, annoyed you were woken so abruptly, “Go away Frank.” You mumbled.

“Not Frank.” Fuck. Why was Joel in your room waking you up?

“Oh,” You couldn’t bear to turn towards him. You adored him. Loved him even. But you didn’t want to go like this. Being forced outside your will. It hurt. Crushed you even. You didn’t want to take your anger out on Joel so best to keep your back turned to him. But God, you just wanted to scream. Yesterday you were just living your life as normal, as possible, that you could. Then Frank dropped the bomb and now you were just expected to go, “Sorry, Joel.” Meekly replying to the man, you shed a single tear. That’s the one thing you hated about yourself. How damn emotional you got. You couldn’t bottle it up even if you tried.

“S’fine.” He sighed not sure what to say. What could he say? He knew you didn’t want to go. Frank warned him and Tess once they got there. He knew just how devastated you likely were. Everything you knew was about to vanish. Joel had gone through that a few times. It wasn’t the best feeling. But he always survived. He knew you’d be just fine. And there was that sick twisted thought of happiness that you’d be close to him.

He tried to fight these feelings away. Tried his damn hardest. He knew you couldn’t really love in a world like this. How devastating it always ended. Nobody was ever really that lucky. Joel had loved hard and lost even harder. He swore he’d never let in anybody ever again. Tess was the closest and they were just partners. Nothing more. He loved her but he wasn’t in love with her.

Then you came along. All happy and shit. He swore he’d never love hard again but that promise seemed to crack each time he saw you. You never failed to put a smile on his usual stoic face. He resisted the urges for so long until he couldn’t any longer.

“Can you give me a moment?” You asked hoping he’d take the hint.

He nodded before realizing you were turned away from him, “Right, yeah. I’ll be at Bill’s place.”

“Okay.” You closed your eyes until you heard him close the door. Letting out the shaky breath you were holding. You watched from your window as Joel walked slowly back over to Bill’s place. Seemingly lost in thought.

You put on the fresh set of clothes that you always left over. A simple set of jeans, t-shirt, and a hoodie. Not believing it was really it you forced your legs to walk back over. You had to face the music sooner or later.

“Morning.” You nodded your head at Tess, the first person you saw sitting in the living room.

Giving you a sad smile, she nodded right back to you, “Morning.”

“Y/N.” You heard your brothers voice, “Bill made you a pack. It’s got everything you might need.”

Biting your lip, you took it gratefully. You really couldn’t have done it without either of them, “Thank you.”

“You’ll be okay out there.”

“Sure.”

Joel and Tess sat back watching the painful interaction. Tess nodding towards the door letting Joel know they needed to get out. They both snuck out without you or your brother really noticing. Both too caught up in whatever the hell this was.

“Y/N.”

“Spit it out Frank.”

“I don’t want you to hate me. I’m doing this for you. It’s best for you.” You leaned back into the wall crossing your arms. Choosing your words very wisely. This would be the last time you’d talk with him in this lifetime. You had to do this right. For his sake and yours.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I love you so fucking much it hurts.” You let a tear fall. Dammit here they came. The waterworks, “I just wish you’d let me be here for you but if you think this is best then I’ll go.”

“It’s best.”

Letting a few more tears slip you nodded your head, “Tell Bill that I love him. I love you, Frank.” You walked over hugging him tightly. Squeezing him so tightly you knew it was hurting him, but he didn’t dare say a word. You were hurt and grieving him even while he was still standing there.

Letting him go you gave him your best smile, “I’ll always love you, Frank.”

“And I’ll always love you. Be safe out there.”

“You know it.” You turned quickly walking towards the door. Shutting it behind you, you took a breath. Why did you have to be born into this world? What good fucking came out of all of this. What was the point?

Walking over to Joel and Tess, you gave them a quick head nod.

“You alright?” Tess asked.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Joel looked a little too apprehensive seeing your blood shot eyes and rosy cheeks, “You sure?”

“Positive. Please, let’s go.”

“Alright, follow me.” Tess led the way. This was your life now. This was going to be just fine.

The walk back to the QZ was quiet and cold. You didn’t dare complain though. They were simply doing this as friends. Whatever the hell friends were. It only dawned on you as soon as you got close, without incident, that you were an outsider. How in the fuck was that going to work?

“Joel?” You asked one night shortly before you arrived.

“Hmm?” He stayed silent most of the way. Not ever knowing what to say to you. God, he wanted to be a source of comfort, but he hadn’t a clue how to be for you.

“How’s this going to work? I’m an outsider and all.”

He understood your concern, “It’s all taken care of. Tess got some paperwork made up. You’ll live with me for the time being and we’ll find you a job.”

“Cool,” You nodded. Pleasantly surprised that it had been so thought out, “Thanks Joel.”

“Sure.” He had a hard time looking at you. Knowing he’d cave for whatever friendly look you’d be giving his way.

“Thanks for everything Joel. Really. For protecting me and what not.” You mumbled feeling terribly awkward about it all. Even though you didn’t appreciate your life so much anymore it felt good to be looked after. To be wanted and taken care of.

“I’ll always protect you.”

Five – Twenty Years Post Outbreak: The Trip Back to Bill’s

“You don’t have to go in.” Joel stood at the gate blocking the path for you and Ellie.

You shook your head, “I’m okay.”

Ellie rolled her eyes, “Let’s fucking go then.”

Smiling at the girl you turned back towards Joel, “You heard the girl.”

He gave you a skeptical look, “You sure?”

“Yeah, I just won’t go in the house.” You kept your eyes forward, not darling to look at him.

He nodded turning back towards the overgrown town. Ellie walked past you keeping pace with Joel. Bugging him about something. You hung back taking a leisurely stroll through your old home. A place you called home for nearly fourteen years.

The usual green grass had turned a shade of brown without Frank’s attention to detail. The bright yellow flowers had been overgrown with weeds. A tug at your heartstrings knowing the worst had come to Frank. That was expected. His condition going from okay to tragic in a matter of a few months. What you didn’t expect was Bill taking his life too. Bill wouldn’t let this place go to shit. It was his home first.

Too quickly you made it back to the house. Joel looked back at you before he and Ellie went in. You nodded, letting him know it was alright. You made your way to the side of the house where your garden was. You strolled through the raised garden beds that were overgrown with who knows what now. It looked like the place hadn’t been touched in two years. He must’ve done it right after you left. They must’ve decided together. Without you.

Tears sprung to your eyes when you spotted the thriving strawberry patch. Somehow untouched by weeds or the animals around it your once small square of strawberries had grown tenfold. Seemingly thriving in this environment.

Squatting down you picked a ripe one. Turning it over in your hand a few times just thinking about Frank before you ate it. He would’ve loved to share one last one with you.

“To Frank.” You mumbled before taking the last bite, discarding the stem on the floor.

You sat down next to the strawberry patch grabbing a few more before you laid back onto the grass. Letting yourself feel sorry for yourself after everything. Knowing what Frank was going to do. Seeing Tess die in front of your eyes. Realizing Bill also left this world. Everyone you loved and cared for gone in a matter of two years.

Tess’s death hurt you the worst. One moment she was there and the next she wasn’t. So unexpected. You had time to process and grieve your brother’s death. Bills caught you off guard but didn’t surprise you completely.

Looking up to the sky you remembered a long-ago conversation with Tess about favorite colors. Sky Blue. It looked so pretty today. Not a single cloud in the sky. One big blue sky.

“Bill’s gone.” Joel’s voice interrupted your peaceful solace.

Flicking your eyes over to look at him you didn’t see Ellie behind him, “I know.”

“You, okay?” He took a seat next to you.

“Mhmm. I’m fine. Take a strawberry. They’re still good.” You smiled up at him continuing to lay on your back.

He did as you instructed, “They are.”

Giving him a genuine smile, you just felt comforted by his presence. He was the only constant in your life for the last two years. You’d grown far too attached to the man, but could you blame yourself? He was everything to you. You were so terrified that you’d lose him too. It’s all you seemed to be doing in the last two years.

“Get everything you need?”

“Yeah. Battery is charging for another hour or so.”

“Ellie?”

“She checking out the town. I told her about the boutique.”

Sitting up you looked over at him. He was so beautiful. The salt and pepper look throughout his hair only making him more attractive in your eyes. The scar that graced his cheek enhanced everything about him. His hair was at the perfect length where it flicked all over the place. He’d probably start complaining in a few weeks. Then you’d cut it and it’d be far too short, and you had to wait until it was your favorite length again.

“Maybe she’ll grab something.”

He nodded, “Power still works. Grab a shower while you can?” He stood up offering you a hand.

“Sure,” You took his hand in yours. Joel pulled you up gingerly. Always so careful with you, “Thanks Joel. I’m going to the house next door. It should still be stocked up.”

“Need a change of clothes?”

He was always so thoughtful with you. Never skipping a beat, always making you a priority. His way of showing just how much he loved you. And he did. Boy did he love you. He just had a hard time expressing it directly. Showing his love in other ways instead. He initially said no when Frank proposed you coming back with them to Boston. But when he heard his pleas through the radio, he knew what he needed to do.

He was surprised at how well you adapted out there. You knew your strengths, weaknesses. You knew how to be helpful and when to take a step back. You never complained either. Just wore a smile on your face instead. That was how you coped. Smile and walk. You’d be there soon enough. The first trip was the hardest. It got easier after that. Joel wouldn’t let you sneak out with him at first. Too scared you’d get hurt. But Tess eventually convinced him. Then you were off helping them out as you could.

“If you don’t mind? There should be some clothes in my room.”

“You got it.”

You’d known about Frank’s passing. Hoping to come to Bill’s for supplies. Lucky for you it hadn’t been raided, yet. Joel worked on getting the truck ready while you and Ellie showered.

You walked back over to Bill’s standing at the front door. You wanted to go in so bad, but it didn’t feel right. Something tell you that you shouldn’t.

“Hey, you hear me?”

You snapped out of the trance you seemed to be under, “No, sorry Joel, what’s up?”

“Come on, need your help loading up.” He motioned to the garage on the side of the house.

“Yeah, alright.” You jogged over to meet him, “Thanks for the clothes.”

“Mhmm.” He kept his gaze forward.

You really couldn’t take it much longer. The thought of losing yet another person with telling them how you felt just didn’t sit right any longer.

“You know I love you right?” You asked.

“What?” he paused looking taken aback at your sudden admittance.

“I love you, Joel.” You smiled a genuine smile. One that felt so good to do.

“You do?”

“Why do you look so surprised? Of course, I do. You’re everything to me.”

He gave you that brilliant smile that made you weak at the knees, “You love me, huh?”

You slapped his arm, “I love you. How many times are you going to make me say it?” You giggled feeling like he was loosening up. Softening even further as he saw your overexcited state

“I dunno.” He took a step towards you, “It sounds nice.”

“Yeah?” You asked transfixed on his gaze.

“Oh yeah, and you know what?” He asked.

“What’s that?”

“I think I love you too.” It felt strange admitting it out loud, but damn did it feel good. Right.

Your heart started racing, “You think?” Raising your eyebrows, you dared take a step closer to him.

He shook his head a bit upset by his choice of words. Always seeming to mess them up, “I know. I love you, Y/N.””

“I like the sound of that.” You didn’t let your smile fade only bigger. God did I feel good to get it out. You knew what his answer would be. He showed his love in other ways but damn did it feel good to hear.

“Yeah, now come here.”

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possibilistfanfiction · 8 months

Note

hello :) feel free to ignore if you're not taking prompts anymore but I can't stop thinking about bea and 'now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good'

[whoever sent this prompt a bazillion years ago, know i've been thinking abt it forever. sry it took this long but a sweet little cam pov, butch bea universe, post-canon]

'hey.' you're careful to make sure your footsteps, while soft, are audible, and that you don't move too quickly; beatrice hasn't been a nun for years now, but you're certain that, if you scared her in the middle of the night, she could have you on your back with a broken collarbone quicker than you can even blink.

as it is, though, she turns to you with a soft smile and then gazes out at the waves again, her knees pulled up to her chest, arms tight around them, chin resting atop. you're wrapped up in a thick blanket you'd taken from the foot of your bed — you know ava always makes sure it's in your favorite of their guest bedrooms whenever you plan to visit — and beatrice is in a soft sweater, a beanie pulled down to sit just above her ears.

it's the middle of the night and dark by the sea, but the lights from the city, perpetual and unrelenting and hopeful, create an ambient haze.

'all right?' she asks quietly.

'oh, yeah,' you say. 'just jetlagged.'

she hums, not uncurling, still not looking at you. her posture is easy, albeit a little sad, a little small, but she's not tense; you know your company is welcome.

'are you okay?'

she seems to weigh her answer. 'i couldn't sleep.'

you don't have to ask more to understand: you're the one who found her at the arc, sitting stone-still; you're the one who held her, hours later, as she had a panic attack that seemed to roll on and on in waves; you're the one who quietly kept tabs on her in the eight months ava was missing as she waded through the world steeped in tangible grief. you know every detail of her recent injuries, her recovery progress months later. you have your own nightmares too.

'ava's okay?'

you know he is; beatrice wouldn't be skulking away at 3 am on the beach outside of their house if he wasn't. still, it gets her to smile. 'fast asleep, taking up three quarters of the bed. korra is taking up the rest of it.'

you smile; korra has a habit of cuddling with you when she's off-duty and you're visiting, but you know if beatrice leaves ava's side, korra is immediately there, even if it's just to sleep.

'is your leg bothering you?'

it gets beatrice to unfurl, just a little, and stretch her left leg out along the sand. you'd gone running with her the day before, easy along the water, and she hadn't shown any signs of soreness, but you know sometimes, especially if there's going to be rain, her hip aches. 'no,' she says, 'it's okay.' she lets out a deep breath. 'i'm okay.'

you nod; you know well enough by now to not press the issue. you've seen so many people you love — ava and beatrice included — injured, in pain; some people you have loved have died, and there was nothing you could do to save them. it is not an easy life, to save the world.

you let the waves roll in and out peacefully. beatrice is your big sister, has been for years and years now. eventually, she sighs and turns to you, fiddling with the engagement band on her left ring finger, a marker of one of your favorite joys. 'do you really think i'm — ava wants to marry me.'

ava, since, like, four days into knowing beatrice, has been in love with her, you're pretty sure, and they've been together for years, have built a life and won a holy war and built a life again — so of course ava wants to marry her. but, still, 'yeah,' you say. 'she does.'

beatrice shakes her head, like she can't quite believe it. on bad nights, maybe she can't.

'bea.'

she twists the band around her finger, then takes her beanie off and runs a hand through her short hair. you scoot closer to her and bump her shoulder with yours and wait for her to look at you. 'ava is just — he's been through so much. he's hurt, so much. and he deserves to have the most beautiful life.'

'that's true,' you say, because it is, in every way. but, 'in what world is that life not spent loving you?' you're sure beatrice has made up a million reasons why it isn't true, some nonsense about her not being patient enough, not being kind enough, not being sure enough about who she is, not being free enough to want things, not being excellent or extraordinary enough. 'listen, i was rooting for you ages and ages ago, okay? i meddled as best i could.'

it takes a second, and it's watery with unshed tears, but beatrice laughs quietly. 'i do remember that.'

'bea, you have to know by now, right?'

you watch her jaw clench; sometimes love, especially ava's love, so generous and so bright, is hard to swallow, is even harder to stomach.

'you don't have to be perfect. you just have to be good.' you touch the ring on her finger and than lace yours with hers. 'and you are so, so good.'

you're definitely not surprised to see her sniffle and wipe below her eyes. she steadies herself after a few seconds, but not in a way that makes you ache. instead, she puts her beanie back on and finally turns to you with a smile. 'thank you, camila.'

'no need,' you say. 'you love us all so well, every day.'

her eyes are soft. 'i try.'

you squeeze her hand.

'tomorrow morning,' she says, 'you have to act surprised, because ava has this big brunch planned so we can ask you extravagantly.'

'go on, i'm loving the concept so far.'

'will you officiate our wedding?'

it's maybe, or, like, definitely, the best question anyone has ever asked you. 'are you kidding? of course.'

'you're sure? it's — it's a gay wedding, and you're technically still clergy, and —'

you roll your eyes and, for good measure, elbow her in the ribs. 'you're out of your mind if you think i care about any of that, let alone believe it. you're my favorite couple. also, we've been to like twelve drag brunches together? i've told you multiple times i think ayo edebiri is hot.'

'well, i just —'

'it would be the greatest honor of my life, beatrice.'

she hugs you, tight, and the next morning you do let ava order an extravagant amount of food and then ask you again; you pretend to be surprised and he sees right through you, playfully huffs at beatrice but then just whoops and hugs you anyway when you obviously agree. it's easy, to bask in her light, in their love. at their wedding, in front of the same ocean, on the same sand, as you hold beatrice's childhood bible with its careful notes and occasional doodles and recite love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres; love never fails; as bea cries the entire time in a perfectly tailored suit and ava, in her wispy dress, gossamer and lace, laughs and wipes her tears — it's easy to know that this is what god meant. a union, steadfast, devoted, faithful, you say; a holiness worthy of the divine.

#wn #wn fic #avatrice #avatrice fic #butch bea 🥺🫡#a) thinking abt how can rly did ship them FOREVER lol she’s such a real one for that #b) when i tell u. i am so feral over a house in nebraska by ethel cain rn.#i am Not Free From It #it’s just. so much. thinking of the vibes !

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topguncortez · 2 years

Note

hey! anon here who asked for the prompt with the ‘you know you don’t have to’ prompt with rooster! i’m back with more angst bc apparently ovulating gives me the craving to cry.

so.

14. “You don’t want this do you?” with rooster

💃

pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x female!reader synopsis: reader is pregnant, but it's not Bradley's baby. warnings: mentions of cheating, dagger squad being a bunch of assholes. prompts list:)

|| masterlist || Kofi:) || whumptober ||

Bradley never imagine his life would be like this. He never imagine that he would be called back to TOPGUN, that he would reconcile with his godfather, that he would have fallen in love with a young lady in a bar, or that he would be building baby furniture for said young lady's baby.

Bradley had never believed in 'love at first sight' until he saw Y/N, sitting alone in the Hard Deck one night. he had gone up to Penny asking about the girl who looked like she had been through hell and back. Penny didn't say much, just that she was a local girl and she had come in a couple times with some guy. Bradley ordered her a drink, and walked over to her.

"Hi, I'm Bradley," He said.

"Hi, I'm Y/N."

"Can I sit with you?"

"Sure," She smiled and gestured to the empty seat in front of her.

They had spent the whole night getting to know each other, time slipping away until Penny called last call. Bradley looked down at his phone and saw that it was 3AM, and he'd have to be at the hangar in less than 4 hours. He had walked Y/N home that night, asked for her phone number, and kissed her cheek. He had spent those few hours of shut eye dreaming about her, and waiting for her text.

Though, it never came, and Bradley was devastated. He didn't get it, he thought that the night went fine, but he thought that maybe Y/N was just putting on an act to be nice to him. It spent two weeks waiting for a text from her, looking at his phone every chance he got. His fellow aviators noticed something was up with him, but they didn't mention it. By week three, Bradley's sadness had turned into anger. He had decided to forget Y/N even existed. . . until he found her one day, sitting on the beach in front of the Hard Deck.

"Nice seeing you here," Bradley said, walking up to her. Y/N pushed herself up from the sand.

"Bradley, I can explain-"

"So is this what you do then? Sweet talk men all night into buying you drinks, and take them home? Sorry, I didn't sleep with you, but that doesn't mean its okay for you to-"

"I'm pregnant," Y/N blurted out.

"I-I didn't. . . we didn't-"

"It's my ex's. We broke up, a couple months ago," Y/N said, "He was cheating on me. I didn't mean to ghost you, I was busy trying to move from his house into my own place, and then I find out I'm ten weeks pregnant. I am so sorry, I really am. I like you Bradley, a lot, it's just I-"

Bradley cut her off by kissing her. She froze for a moment before relaxing into the kiss. Bradley pulled back and looked at her.

"I'm sorry, that was totally inappropriate-"

"Do it again."

"Okay."

Since that day on the beach, almost eight months ago, Bradley had pretty much moved into Y/N's house. His friends thought he was absolutely insane for getting involved with a woman who was set to have someone else's baby, but Bradley could careless about it. He loved her, and her soon to be child as if it was his own. For as much as anyone knows, the baby was Bradley's.

He had told Y/N at the beginning, that if she didn't want to be with him, to say the word, and he would back off. She had her reservations, about dating while pregnant with someone else's baby, but she had no feelings towards her baby daddy (just anger). She was in love with Bradley too. They agreed to take things slow, well, as slow as they could go with a baby on the way. But Bradley had promised her, whatever happens, they would always be friends.

Y/N and Bradley walked hand in hand through the Hard Deck over to the corner where Bradley's work friends were all at. They all shared a look as Bradley walked over to them, smiling wide.

"Hey!" He greeted them, and was met with a chorus of greetings as well, "What am I missing?"

"Just Bagman beating Bob's ass in pool. . . again," Coyote pointed out.

"Not sure how you manage to be this terrible, Floyd," Hangman said, lining up his shot, "Rooster, Y/N, how are things?"

"Good," Y/N answered giving him a smile. She could feel the awkward glares of his friends on her. Bradley had assured her that she was liked by the squad, but she thought otherwise. They always looked at her weird, and it made her uncomfortable. They also seemed to ignore her when ever she was around.

"Drinks?" Phoenix asked, looking at the two of them.

"I'm good, thanks,"

"Obviously," Phoenix scoffed, rolling her eyes, "Bradshaw?"

"Jack and coke," Bradley rambled off his usual, "Actually, scratch that, just water."

"You're not drinking? You always have at least a drink," Fanboy said.

"I gotta drive home," Rooster shrugged.

"Okay? And it's one drink?" Hangman pointed out.

"Still not taking the risk of something happening. I'm staying away from the juice for awhile. At least until we can both drink," Bradley said, and put his arm around Y/N's waist.

"So that's why," Phoenix said, "Being a buzzkill and it's not even your kid."

Y/N felt like a dagger had gone through her chest at Phoenix's words. She could feel the hot tears welling up in her eyes and she looked down at her shoes, as Phoenix walked over to the bar. Bradley pulled Y/N into his side and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm gonna go to the restroom," Y/N said softly, hoping he didn't hear the break in her voice.

"You okay?" Bradley asked, and Y/N nodded, untangling herself from his side and heading towards the bathroom. Bradley watched her until she walked into the room, and turned to glare at his friends.

"Here, got you one anyway. Think you need it," Phoenix said, handing him his usual drink.

"What the hell is your problem?" Rooster asked.

"Mine?" Phoenix looked taken aback.

"All of yours!" Bradley said, pointing to his team, "You guys have been treating her like shit since she met you! Seriously, what's the fucking deal?!"

"Look, I think I speak for all of us when I say, we have some concerns," Jake said, leaning up on the pool table, "One, she's pregnant."

"And?" Bradley crossed his arms across his chest.

"And it's not even yours," Phoenix said, "We know you want to be the good guy and save the day, and all this. . . but are you sure she's just not using you? I mean, you'd be the perfect one for her to try and pull a fast one on. You have a gentle heart, you're nice, you got free health care."

"You think she's using me to get healthcare?" Bradley yelled.

"Bradley. . . " Bob said softly, and nodded his head to the person standing behind him. Y/N stood there with tears in her eyes as she looked at the team in front of her.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," Y/N said, and pushed through Bradley to grab her purse from the table, "I gotta go."

"Y/N!" Bradley called after her as she made her way through the Hard Deck. He turned around and his chest was heaving, "You guys are supposed to have my back. That's what a fucking team does. . . but fuck all of you."

Bradley didn't even bother to take a glance at his team, as he followed out the same way that Y/N did. He walked outside to see her dialing someone's number as she waited on the sidewalk.

"Y/N!" Bradley said, running up to her. She hung up the phone and looked at him, "I'm sorry for them-"

“You don’t want this, do you?” She asked.

"What?"

"This," She gestured to herself, "Bradley, it's not just me that you get. You get me and this baby," She looked down at her shoes, not baring to look up at those soft, big brown eyes any longer, "And you have been wonderful these past months, being more than I could ever ask for, but I just don't-"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Y/N looked up at him, and could see his eyes turning red with tears, "That team means so much more to you than I ever could. They can do more for you than me. And I won't be the thing that breaks you apart. We won't." She held her belly with her hand. Bradley put his hands on both sides of her belly, and shook his head.

"See, this is where you are wrong. You both mean more to me than they do. You both can do more for me than they can," Bradley said, "I love you, Y/N. I love you, and this baby, more than you will ever freaking know. I know this whole thing isn't ideal, and I respect whatever decision you want to make. If you want to break up with me, than I respect that. But I also won't let you break up with me because you believe something that isn't true. I could walk away from the team tomorrow and be just fine with the two of you."

"I would never let you do that," Y/N said, shaking her head.

"I know, but I would," Bradley said, "I would leave it all so quickly if that meant spending everyday with the two of you." He gently cupped her face in his hands and brought her in for a kiss. The second their lips touched, he felt a kick come from within her womb. Bradley chuckled, and kneeled down in front of her, "Hey! I said the two of you," He placed a kiss on the spot he felt the kick come from, "Please don't break up with me. At least give me the chance to really make you mad by leaving the toilet seat up, or mixing colors and whits."

Y/N giggled, and ran her hand through his curls, "I love you too, Bradley. Now get up, before they come out here and think you're proposing."

Bradley smiled, and stood up, "I will, one of these days. Now come on, I wanna go snuggle with my babies." Bradley put his arm around her waist and walked towards the bronco.

"Bradshaw!" He heard his name being called from the door of the Hard Deck. He turned around to see Phoenix walking down the steps, "I uh. . . I wanted to apologize, to the both of you. I'm sorry for acting like a bitch. It's just. . . I care about you."

"That doesn't give you a free pass to be a bitch, Trace," Bradley said.

"Bradley. . . "

"No, it's okay, Y/N, I deserve it," Phoenix said, "I just want you guys to know I'm sorry."

Bradley nodded and Phoenix turned on her feet awkwardly, walking back into the Hard Deck. Y/N reached up to gently grab his face, pulling him down into a kiss. Bradley squeezed her tight as he kissed her.

"Let's go home," Y/N said, and Bradley nodded, taking her hand and leading her to the bronco.

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steddieas-shegoes · 10 months

Text

it led me to you

chapter 5: vecna also on AO3

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4

---------------------------------

When Steve woke up eight hours later, he was in pain, and he didn’t remember anything that happened the first time he woke up.

Wayne watched them as Eddie tried to ask him some basic questions and got no answers, and Eddie tried so hard not to be disappointed.

Steve asked about Robin, mentioned that she had been there when he got injured and probably could tell everyone what happened better than he could, refusing to answer any question about the injuries.

When Wayne asked the nurse if they knew anything more, they said that he’d been unable to tell them and no one else who was there was talking about anything except the actual fire.

Wayne was a relatively distrustful person, especially when it came to things like this, things that seemed much bigger than just a mall fire. He got even more suspicious when he saw a few people in suits arrive and go into a room down the hall later that first day.

He was quickly distracted by Robin showing back up, though.

She ran into the room, practically face planting into Steve’s bed as she grabbed his other hand, ignored his wince in pain, and started rambling.

“You absolute dingus! I cannot believe you tried to hide a severe concussion for so long that you blacked out! I asked you how many times if you were okay? And you said ‘oh, I’m fine! I feel great! I could fly a plane right now!”

“You said what?” Eddie snorted, trying his best not to let the fact that she was holding his best friend’s hand make him jealous. He failed.

“I don’t think I said that,” Steve said, though he seemed unsure.

“You did. You said ‘planes are big and I am, like, so good at driving, so I could probably drive it if someone got it off the ground and then put it back on the ground when I was done.’ Which is truly something a gorilla could do, Steve. Like, not to be rude, but you saying you can do the easiest part of flying an airplane is not as comforting as you think it is, and I have been stuck on that for almost 16 hours now. How is that supposed to be reassuring?” She continued, waving her unoccupied hand so much, she almost hit herself and then Wayne when he came up next to her. “And then I started thinking about how maybe you genuinely thought that flying the plane in the air is the hard part. Like being okay is relative isn’t it? To you, maybe you’re okay, but to me, you’re so far from okay. And I think I’m pretty far from okay, but I don’t look nearly as bad as you so maybe I am okay and just being ridiculous ya know? And-“

Wayne placed his hand on her shoulder, effectively stopping her from continuing.

She took in a deep breath, and let out a sob.

Steve let go of Eddie’s hand to try to pull her into a hug.

Eddie didn’t mind so much, at least not right now. Robin seemed to need it, and Steve seemed to need to provide it.

He could let go of his stupid jealousy for this.

He could.

He felt Wayne’s eyes on him, but ignored the way they burned into his profile, ignored the words he knew Wayne was silently saying to him.

“I’m gonna go grab some food. Anyone want anything?”

Everyone shook their head, but otherwise ignored Wayne’s question, and he ultimately seemed fine with that.

Eddie kind of figured he just wanted to be out of the room, didn’t want to feel the tension anymore.

Couldn’t blame him with the way Robin and Steve were whispering to each other, looking at each other like they were saying more with their eyes than their mouths.

Eddie sat back in his chair, closed his eyes, and somehow managed to drift into an unfit sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

When he woke, he was alone with Steve, who was sitting in bed with his eyes closed, but he wasn’t asleep.

Eddie could tell because he just…knew every way that Steve held himself. He knew that when he was asleep, his mouth would often slip open just the tiniest bit, his hands curled into fists, holding whatever was closest in them (a sheet, Eddie’s shirt, sometimes his own shirt).

He was tense though, probably in a decent amount of pain still considering they’d slowly been taking him off the pain meds.

Eddie took in his injuries again, the way the swelling had started going down slightly, but the bruising hadn’t faded at all. He noted the way the bruising on his arms and neck and chest all seemed reminiscent of fingerprints, of someone holding him down, choking him.

Someone did this to him.

Fires don’t cause bruises.

People cause bruises.

He let him pretend for another minute, mentally filing away every scratch on his skin, every discoloration that meant someone had touched him to hurt him.

“Stevie? You need anything?”

Steve opened his eyes, groaning at the light.

“Will you hold my hand again?”

Eddie would jump out of the hospital window if Steve asked. Holding his hand was a small favor in comparison.

“Wanna tell me more about your dreams of being a pilot?” Eddie asked with a smirk.

“Oh my God, you two will never let this go, will you?” Steve rolled his eyes, but smiled.

“I’m just curious why you never mentioned it before. I’m sure we could look into you getting your license now that you’ve graduated.”

“I was just high when I said it, Eds,” Steve said, as if that made any sense.

He was at work, he shouldn’t have been high. He didn’t even like getting high, not even with Eddie, so why was he high at work with Robin?

“High?”

Steve suddenly looked like he regretted saying it, like he wasn’t supposed to tell him that and somehow letting it slip was a big deal.

He knew Eddie wasn’t judging him for being high, not even on the clock, so why was he suddenly acting like he shouldn’t have said it?

“What happened?” Eddie figured this was the best question to ask.

Even if he didn’t get all the details, he could maybe piece most of the night together, find out how he got beat to shit.

“It’s a long story. I don’t know what I’m allowed to say,” he started, still so hesitant, still acting like he had to hide.

“Allowed?”

“Yeah.”

“Who wouldn’t allow you?”

“I dunno. Dustin just told me not to say anything yet.”

Eddie was even more confused now.

“Dustin? Was Dustin at the mall when the fire happened?”

“Um.”

“Steve, why the hell was Dustin there?”

Eddie felt his brain trying to piece things together without even knowing half of the story. Dustin was a child. He shouldn’t have even been at the mall that late to begin with, let alone anywhere near whatever happened to Steve.

He hadn’t met Dustin yet, but he felt this overwhelming urge to protect him just based off of how much Steve loved him.

“He was visiting me at work when everything started.”

“Everything being…?”

“Eds, I-“

“Alright, Steve! Looks like you’re going home today, so let’s go ahead and do one last check on everything!”

The nurse walking in the room caused them both to jump, Eddie realizing almost too late how close he had gotten to Steve.

It wouldn’t look very good for someone who wasn’t Wayne to walk in on that.

Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice, too busy focusing on the clipboard in front of her as she spoke.

“Your injuries are all surface wounds so they’ll just need to be maintained with regular cleaning and wrapping on the worse ones. Your eye may still need a cold compress occasionally while the swelling continues to go down. I’d recommend every four to six hours if you can. Do you have someone to help you for the next 24-48 hours?”

She finally looked up, seemingly noticing that Eddie was there for the first time.

“Oh! Hello! My apologies, I’ve been so busy tonight, my head is all over the place. Steve, is it okay to discuss things with him here?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna be staying with him and his uncle while I get better.”

“Great! They’ll bring some more instructions in a couple hours, but for now, do you have any concerns before you go?”

Eddie had a lot of fucking concerns. Like, more concerns than he had even just ten minutes ago.

But he couldn’t ask the nurse about these concerns.

No, Steve was the only one who could properly answer these questions, and he intended on making sure he got the answers he needed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

He lasted less than 12 hours before he was begging for answers.

Wayne showed up shortly after the nurse did, helped Steve sit up and walk around a bit, get ready for the doctor to release him.

They made it home only a couple hours later, Eddie setting Steve up in his bed while Wayne grabbed them some pizza in town.

It was the perfect opportunity to get some answers, but Steve finally looked like he was comfortable, relaxed. Eddie couldn’t interrupt that by asking him to relive whatever trauma happened the night before.

When Wayne got home, Steve was asleep.

Eddie sat with Wayne at the table, taking a slice and silently chewing as he thought through the events of the night and day so far.

“You call Robin?”

Eddie shook his head. He hadn’t thought to, even though her number was written on a piece of paper in his pocket.

He’d barely thought about much other than piecing together what happened to Steve.

But Robin probably knew.

“I’m gonna do that now!” He was maybe too excited, and Wayne’s eye roll told him that he probably realized he was calling for more selfish reasons than to let her know that Steve was home and mostly okay.

He knew Wayne would hear the entire conversation, but he didn’t really care. He just needed to understand what was happening with Steve.

Robin answered on the second ring.

“Is this a Munson? It better be.”

“No, this is Mrs. Hampton from the laundromat calling to remind you to pick up your delicates,” Eddie said in a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like Mrs. Hampton.

“Well, either you’re preparing me for bad news with a sad attempt at humor or Steve’s fine,” she said, voice still laced with worry.

“Yeah, he’s alright. I mean, as alright as someone who looks like they’ve been put in the middle of a pro wrestling ring with no experience can. Wanna tell me more about that?”

“I don’t know if I can.”

He tried not to be mad, or jealous, or any other emotion that would be embarrassing later.

There was a reason for the secrecy, and as frustrating as it was for him, he knew they would be more honest about it if they could be.

“I’m Steve’s best friend. I promise I won’t say anything.”

“I just…I’m new to this. I don’t-“

“New to what?”

What the hell did that even mean? New to what? Robin had lived in Hawkins her whole life as far as Eddie knew. She wasn’t exactly new to working a job, having been a babysitter since she was 13 and working at the grocery store every summer since she was 14. She wasn’t new to Steve, or at least not that new: they’d been working together all summer.

“The weird stuff.”

“Weird what?”

But Eddie thought about what Steve said about Dustin and his friends. Thought about how they seemed too mature for their age in some ways, and not in others. How government officials in suits showed up when something weird happened, barely gave any explanation, and left again.

“I just think you should ask Steve. He’ll tell you,” she sighed.

“He might not want to.”

“He will if you ask. He’d tell you anything. He lo-“ Robin cleared her throat. “I should probably go in case my parents call. They found out about everything this morning and have been calling every hour to check in.”

“Tell her she’s welcome over anytime!” Wayne said from the table.

“You can come over anytime. But Steve’s asleep right now so maybe wait a few hours.”

“Yeah, thanks. Probably can’t until my parents get back and actually see with their own eyes that I’m not speaking to them as a ghost on the phone.” Robin laughed. “You know my mom genuinely asked me if I was someone pretending to be me. As if someone would admit that!”

“Wait, are you impersonating Robin?”

He was met with silence.

“Oh my god, you deserve each other. Goodbye, Edward.”

She hung up before he could ask what the hell that meant.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Steve woke up, he was in pain, but it was manageable.

Eddie took advantage of his still-relaxed mind to start asking questions.

“So you were just working like normal and then the place blew up?”

“Not…exactly,” Steve said as he took some pain meds and chugged some water.

“What happened?”

“Um.”

“Stevie, please. You can’t even open one of your eyes. You’ve got bruises on your neck! Your skin is rubbed raw on your wrists like someone had you tied up. I don’t know what happened, but I know it wasn’t just an explosion. Please,” Eddie begged, tears filling his eyes despite his best effort not to cry.

“Eds,” Steve started, reaching his hand out to comfort, but Eddie stood up. He folded his hands in his lap, trying to cover up the marks Eddie was talking about. “I want to tell you, I just-“

“Then tell me! It doesn’t have to leave this room, I won’t even tell Wayne! I just need to know what happened to you, I need to know how to help you. Please.”

Eddie knew what his face was doing, what his eyes were saying.

He knew it wasn’t fair to put that on Steve right now, or ever, but he couldn’t pretend that this didn’t bother him.

He couldn’t pretend that he believed the mall just exploded.

“Alright. Okay. Just. Just sit down.”

Steve’s voice was trembling, his hands were trembling, his entire body was trembling.

“No one can know any of this. I’m not supposed to know any of it, but I was forced into knowing. It’s dangerous to know, and I don’t think it’s fair to put it on you, but if you’re insisting then-“

“Steve.”

“Okay! Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Hawkins Lab wasn’t just a regular lab; they were doing human experiments. This girl, El, she has like, superpowers. And I guess a lot of the weird stuff that happens around here can be traced back to them and their experiments. There’s a whole alternate dimension, Dustin called it the Upside Down, and there’s-“

“Wait. Sorry. Dustin?”

“Oh! Yes, Dustin. He’s apparently been involved with this stuff since Will, you know Will? Since he went missing. Which I guess when he was missing, he was stuck in the Upside Down, and like, almost got eaten by all these weird creatures that they named after D&D things? None of them fit though, and I told them that, but they kept saying it’s just what worked and-“

“Stevie. Please.”

Steve kept getting distracted, which was normal for him when he was rambling about things, but Eddie’s patience was thin right now.

"Right. So last night. I guess it started yesterday though. Dustin came to see me at work and said he needed help with something and I assumed it was something from camp maybe? I dunno, but then Robin got involved because she knows Russian and I guess under the mall there’s tunnels to a secret Russian bunker, which is crazy, right? Feels like I made that up, but I didn’t because Robin was there and then Dustin and Erica. And I had to protect them all because they could have died or gotten hurt and I kept telling the Russians that like, Robin and I just scoop ice cream! We don’t know anything! They didn’t believe me, and then Robin kept trying to get them to stop hurting me, and they almost killed me I think, but Dustin managed to get us out. Some other stuff happened that I don’t really know the details for because I was unconscious, but it wasn’t good. Billy, you remember him? He died. I was awake long enough to hear Lucas trying to calm Max down about it. And then I woke up in the hospital and I started to remember some of the stuff they did to me and I don’t really want to.”

Eddie was finding it hard to keep up, hard to breathe, hard to remember that Steve was okay.

He made it out.

This sounded like something out of a conspiracy book, and maybe if Eddie didn’t know Steve so well, he would assume he was making it all up, but he knew he wasn’t.

He couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

“You were tortured by Russians under the mall.”

It wasn’t a question, but Steve nodded like he was answering it anyway.

“What the fuck.”

“They also gave me some kind of drugs, Robin too, but I think they messed up my dose because it lasted longer for me. I think it was like a truth serum, but I dunno. I don’t remember a lot still,” Steve sighed.

A truth serum.

He was probably still on it in the hospital. Which meant maybe-

“I’m supposed to let Dustin know when I’m awake so he can visit. He apparently called the hospital about 100 times to talk to me, but couldn’t. Can I call him?”

“Yeah, ‘course. You don’t have to ask permission, Stevie.”

Eddie felt like he was on the outside looking in, like he couldn’t quite grasp everything Steve was saying. He’d missed a connection somewhere maybe, or maybe there was no connection to miss and it was just this fucking weird.

He helped Steve stand and get to the phone, and then left him to talk to Dustin.

Maybe things would get clearer soon.

- - - - - - - - - -

Things did not get clearer soon, or at all.

The rest of the summer was a blur of Steve getting better, Robin becoming a fixture at the trailer, Dustin inviting himself over to hang out with both of them, and Steve and Robin trying to find a new job.

Apparently, they were trauma bonded or something and couldn’t work separately.

Eddie thought about trying to find a part time job that would work when he was back in school, but Wayne shut it down.

“Just need you to focus on graduating. You’ll have plenty of time to work yourself to the bone when you’re done in school.”

Eddie knew there was no point in arguing, so he didn’t.

But he did get lonely.

Steve and Robin managed to find jobs at Family Video about two weeks into the school year.

Robin could only work closing shifts on Fridays and whatever was available on the weekends, but Steve worked all the time.

All the time.

Eddie focused in school this time. He had to. He couldn’t do this again.

And it was working mostly. He was definitely passing everything, and Hellfire was great with the addition of Dustin and his crew, even though they were certainly an odd bunch.

Dustin knew that he knew, but the rest of them didn’t, and they both preferred it that way.

The less Eddie had to be involved in whatever the hell was happening in this town, the better.

Life moved on, slowly.

Until Eddie broke a promise.

- - - - - - - - -

He was going to graduate.

He made it to the pre-spring break deadline with all passing grades. As long as he didn’t fail any tests, he was walking that stage.

Finally.

It helped that Steve had Nancy meet with him every Monday afternoon to schedule out his assignments for the week and help with anything he didn’t understand.

It helped a lot.

But Wayne was working so much, and Steve was working so much, and Robin really only hung out with him if Steve was around, and he definitely didn’t wanna hang out with the kids outside of Hellfire.

He just needed a purpose.

And if Chrissy Cunningham needed some relief from whatever stress she was facing in the form of the leftover drugs he had in his trailer, then he could find a small purpose there.

He wasn’t even gonna sell them to her; her stress was almost a physical presence when she met up with him in the woods after school. She clearly needed something that she couldn’t find anywhere else.

He recognized the way she held herself, the way she was silently begging for anything to help.

He drove her to the trailer after Hellfire that night, after her cheer practice and extra coaching.

She was quiet, kept looking out the window or behind her like she was worried they were being followed.

“Um, should I be worried about something? Is someone following us?” He finally asked, his own anxiety spiking.

“Huh? No. Sorry, just, it’s late and I usually don’t lie to my mom about where I am,” she said.

Eddie believed her, knew she was a great student, great person, probably a great daughter. The opposite of Eddie in just about every way as far as he could tell, and yet here she was begging for illegal substances.

He wasn’t judging, definitely wouldn’t pretend to know what she had going on that was so bad she needed to get high to feel better.

But he was curious, extremely so.

“Is there anything you wanna talk about? Maybe talking would help a little?”

“I talk to the guidance counselor at school. It doesn’t help. Thanks though. That’s really sweet of you to offer,” Chrissy said, turning to give him a sweet, but fake, smile.

“Yeah, anytime. Seriously, I know we don’t know each other well, but. I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret just because you’re stressed.”

They settled into silence, Eddie kind of hoping she would change her mind and he could just drive her home.

He did not have a good feeling about this.

Steve was closing tonight and opening tomorrow, so he was staying at his house for the first time in a while, mostly because it was closer to Family Video, but also because he had to have his own space sometimes.

That’s what Wayne said, anyway.

Wayne was working. Wayne was always working. Doing his best to pay bills, picking up the extra hours as much as he could physically handle so that he had some savings “just in case.”

“Are your parents home?” Chrissy suddenly asked as they pulled into the trailer park.

“Oh. Uh, no. I don’t live with my parents. I live with my uncle. He’s at work though.”

“Oh.”

“I can just run in if you’re not comfortable-“

“No! I-no. I can come in,” she rushed out, already unbuckling her seatbelt before he even put the van in park.

He should have called it.

He should have read her energy, the nervousness in the way she was trying to rush and also take her time and said that he had to take her home.

Maybe he could say he lost the drugs.

Or that they went bad.

She wouldn’t know.

But he didn’t do any of that.

He brought her into the trailer, told her to wait by the couch.

He scurried to his room, sorting through his drawers where he usually kept his personal stash, hoping it was there.

His next best bet was the bathroom under the sink, but he remembered as he was rummaging that Wayne made him clean it all out a few months back to make room for new towels and Steve’s hair things.

The closet in the hall definitely didn’t have anything except everything that didn’t fit in the rest of the house and cobwebs.

“Everything alright?” Chrissy called to him as he went back into his room to think about where it could be.

“Yep! Just checking for something!” He called back. “Shit, shit, shit,” he said under his breath. “What am I doing?”

He heard a yelp from the other room and stood up.

“Chrissy? You okay?”

The trailer was small, and while it wasn’t messy, it was a bit cluttered just because they didn’t have space for everything. People who weren’t familiar with the layout and organization could easily bump into something.

There was no answer.

He ran out of his room, freezing for a moment when he saw the way Chrissy was staring off into space.

She looked like she was already high, but that was impossible. He hadn’t found any of his stash and it takes way longer for any of what he has to kick in.

He also doesn’t think she would have taken anything without checking with him first, she seemed too nervous to take such a serious risk.

“Chrissy?” He asked again, voice wobbling.

She didn’t answer, her eyes glazing over, turning a milky white.

He didn’t understand. Was she prone to seizures? What did it look like when someone had an aneurysm? Shit, was there even anything he could do other than call 911 for that? Then everyone would know she was here, and they’d assume it was for drugs or for him to take advantage of her, and he couldn’t just say he was gay, that would probably be worse.

She started rising off the floor, floating. It looked like someone was pulling her up on an invisible string.

“That’s not an aneurysm,” Eddie said to himself, eyes widening.

Despite his inner voice telling him to just fucking run, he closed the distance between them and started tugging on her legs to get her back down.

But it was impossible, she wasn’t even moving as he used all of his strength to bring her back down.

“This is some bullshit! If there’s any damn Russians or demodogs or what the hell else, now’s your chance I guess!” He was already out of breath trying to pull her down as he yelled.

The front door opened with a bang, and the thought ran through his mind that he was an idiot for asking for something else to happen.

His neighbor and one of Steve’s kids, Max, was suddenly next to him, radio in hand, saying something he couldn’t focus on as she also tried to help him tug Chrissy down.

“How long has she been like this?” Max asked.

“I dunno! In the air for maybe 15 seconds, but before that she was zoned out for maybe a minute. Do you know what’s going on? Please tell me you do, Red.”

“Does Eddie know her favorite song?” Dustin’s voice rang out. “Over.”

“I barely know her at all!”

“Why is she in your house then?” Max said with a brow raised, as if this was somehow more important than the fact that she was floating in the air.

“Take a guess! She needs music!” Dustin said when no one answered him.

Eddie stopped trying to pull her down, knew he wouldn’t be successful, and ran to his room to find something in his stack of tapes that Chrissy Cunningham would like.

And then it hit him.

Steve.

Steve listened to everything.

He probably had something in his stack on the other side of the room.

Eddie didn’t know what Chrissy would like, but made some assumptions and hoped that maybe stereotypes would be right just this one time.

He shoved the first Blondie tape he found in his boombox (which he would definitely be making fun of Steve for when there wasn’t a girl floating in his living room), turning the volume all the way up.

It was much too loud, and the neighbors would absolutely complain, but he just needed it to work. He’d deal with everything else later.

He ran back out of the room and saw Chrissy’s body flinching, her eyes starting to lose the milky whiteness, and he sighed with relief.

“Is it working?” Dustin’s crackling voice came through.

“Yes!” Max answered before turning to Eddie. “Be ready to catch her.”

“What?” He asked before her words caught up to him and he was scrambling to try to break Chrissy’s fall as her body fell from the ceiling.

She was nearly hyperventilating, tears falling from her eyes, and Max was in front of her in a heartbeat, checking her over for injuries.

“How long have you been having them?” Max asked.

“Having what?” Eddie asked, confusion only building further.

“I guess a week or so. But they got really bad yesterday and I couldn’t sleep and now I think I’m just sleep deprived,” she said quietly, voice shaking.

“Mine started yesterday. We’re gonna help you, okay?”

“Would someone like to fill me in on what the fuck just happened?” Eddie felt like he was losing his mind.

They were acting like this wasn’t a big deal, or at least that they could just brush it off.

“Yes, but do you have a walkman she can use for tonight? I only have mine and I need it so I don’t end up floating, too.”

He got his walkman from the bedroom, tuning out the voices of Chrissy and Max whispering to each other.

“You can drive us to Steve’s house, right?”

“Steve’s at work for another hour.”

“Yeah, and he told us all to meet there, so…”

Max stared at him, waving her arm impatiently.

“Okay, sure. Steve’s house. This is a totally normal thing and totally normal outcome to this evening.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

“You’re kidding me.”

Eddie stared in disbelief at the kids surrounding the table, at Robin and Steve who were still in their work uniforms.

They all stared back at him, not exactly calm, but as if this wasn’t the craziest thing that’s happened.

And from what he knew of Hawkins from this group, maybe that was true.

“And you named him Vecna.”

Everyone still just stared back at him, making sure he processed everything.

“You know, I don’t like how calm you all are about this. Two of you are basically possessed and could die whenever this Vecna guy feels like it, and you’re just casually talking about how to burn his body and mind,” he said, his volume rising as he spoke.

“Eds, it’s just. Kind of par for the course at this point for them, and I guess this isn’t really that bad in comparison to the Russians and everything,” Steve said as he came up to him, smiling sadly and touching his arm.

Eddie ignored the sparks shooting between them, ignored it because if he didn’t, he would lean in and kiss Steve in front of all of these people, and they didn’t have time for it.

Especially not with how carried away Eddie knew he wanted to get.

“You guys are super chill about an evil wizard man getting inside your minds and killing you.”

Chrissy and Max were sitting on the couch with headphones over their ears, listening to the songs that saved them.

“So, we have to go to the Creel house?” he finally asked, realizing he was just gonna have to get on board.

“Some of us will have to do it here, while the rest of us do it in the Upside Down version,” Lucas said, sighing. “Splitting up always ends bad for us, but I don’t think we have a choice here.”

“No, but we can split the adults up with the kids so that it’s safer,” Robin suggested.

“Okay, Eddie and me will go down there with Dustin and Max. Chrissy and Lucas will go with you and Nancy here,” Steve said.

“I wanna stay with Max,” Lucas argued.

“I need you to stay with the girls, though,” Steve replied.

“You mean Nancy, who has a better shot that Hopper? And Chrissy, who beat half the basketball team in an arm wrestling competition earlier this year? And…Robin?”

Robin smacked his arm, but nodded.

“He’s right, we don’t really need him. He can keep an eye on Max while the rest of you focus on Vecna down there,” Robin supported him.

“Fine, but that means he’s our communicator. He has to be the middle man between the groups in an emergency,” Steve added.

They all agreed, and Eddie watched as they all started preparing.

The kids were professionals at this point, and Steve and Robin hadn’t had quite the same preparation, but enough to know what was waiting for them.

Eddie and Chrissy were new to this, new to this whole other world that caused more mayhem than Hawkins, Indiana deserved.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t the best plan, but it was their best shot, and that had to be enough.

It started fine; Steve and Eddie leading Dustin, Max, and Lucas into the Upside Down.

It even seemed to go okay when they got to the Creel house.

Nothing major happened, and they were able to find a way to communicate with the crew on the other side.

But as anyone who has ever tried to plan something knows, plans go to shit quick.

Vecna’s physical body being in regular old Hawkins was supposed to make things easier, but they forgot to take into account the fact that he was in Max’s mind, he was in Chrissy’s mind.

They thought he could only see where they were and what they were doing during possessions, but that was clearly wrong.

He knew they were coming.

He prepared everywhere.

And they couldn’t fight preparation like that.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a blur of just trying to survive.

Vecna sent demobats after the crew in the Upside Down, huge creatures that were all easily the size of Dustin or bigger, all hungry.

They had to run from the Creel house, most of the roof destroyed as the crew in Hawkins continued their attempts at destroying Vecna in any way they could.

Outrunning the bats wasn’t going to work, they all knew it.

But they didn’t have many options down here.

Steve led them into the forest down the road, managed to find a large area of fallen trees that made a sad excuse of a cave.

It was enough, though, for now.

Enough to keep the bats away and to keep themselves out of view from any other creatures that may be lurking around.

“This isn’t going well,” Eddie said, breathless from the run. He was a bit out of shape, and even short distances were hard, as his gym teacher could attest to.

“Could be going better,” Lucas nodded, not quite as out of breath, but definitely sweating from the effort it took to run half a mile, half supporting Max.

Max, who had started to be possessed again while in the house, was still shaken up, nursing a broken arm and blurry vision.

Dustin was mumbling to himself, and to Steve, but Steve was just watching outside their makeshift shelter, probably making sure nothing followed them too closely.

He was sweaty, dirty from falling on his way into the shelter, and had scratches covering most of his arms and neck from where he’d had to pull Max out of the attic in the Creel house as it started to collapse.

“We have to get back,” he finally said, looking back at Eddie with wide eyes.

No one else would see it, but Eddie did. He saw the fear in his eyes, the trembling of his hands as they settled on his own knees, trying to gain the courage he needed to be a leader for them.

Eddie loved him.

And suddenly he didn’t know why he waited years to tell him.

He didn’t know why he was so worried about his reaction, or why he thought Steve would treat him differently.

Because even if Steve didn’t feel the same, even if he didn’t love Eddie the way Eddie had loved him for years, he would never treat Eddie as anything less than his best friend.

And now, with the fear of something else going wrong in the back of his mind, he felt like he needed to tell him.

He needed to tell him right now, regardless of who else was around.

“Steve, I-“

A screeching sound filled their ears, filled the shelter, the woods around them.

It was loud enough for all of them to immediately cover their ears, looking at each other in a panic.

“What the hell was that?” Dustin asked.

“You’d know better than any of the rest of us, dude,” Steve answered.

Then there was silence.

Eerie silence.

They could count each others’ heartbeats in this silence.

Eddie felt the unease grow.

It went from chaos to silence too quickly; something had to be wrong.

Even more wrong than what it had been before.

“I’m going to check.”

“What?” Eddie grabbed Steve’s arm before he could go. “You can’t go alone, Stevie. Let’s wait another minute first. It could be a trap.”

“We have to get out of here, Eds. I’m just gonna peek first, then do a walk around.”

Eddie knew the kids were about to argue, but he also knew that Steve’s top priority right now was keeping them all safe, and sitting here waiting for something to happen was just going to increase their chances of someone ending up hurt or worse.

He knew no matter what they said, Steve was going to do what it took to protect them.

He’d lost his bat somewhere during Max’s rescue, and they didn’t have time to try to find it, so he was weaponless.

Eddie tried to hand over what was left of his shield, hoped it would be enough to at least be a comfort to all of them, but he refused it.

Steve looked out of the shelter, slowly, carefully.

He gave them a thumbs up before slowly stepping out, being careful not to slip on the dead leaves that were covering the ground of the entrance.

His footsteps were light as he walked away.

A minute felt like an hour.

Two minutes felt like a lifetime.

“He’s taking a long time,” Lucas whispered, scared to break the silence.

“I’m gonna go check,” Eddie said, sick of waiting.

“Wait! You can’t leave us. We should just all go,” Dustin said as he slowly moved closer to the entrance.

“Steve would kill me if I let you all come with me before checking on him.”

“And what if something got to him and it gets you too? Then what?”

“Then we’re all dead anyway.”

That was a harrowing thought, but a true one.

If something managed to get Steve without making a sound, it could easily get all of them, one at a time, or maybe even in a group if it was big enough.

“Alright, fine,” Eddie touched Max’s shoulder. “Dustin behind me, Max behind him, Lucas behind her. We get out, then we form more of a circle around Max since she’s injured. Steve couldn’t have gone too far, shouldn’t have, so it won’t take long to get to him and then get the hell out of here.”

“What if something comes?”

“Then we skip everything except the running the hell out of here part.”

Max snorted, and Eddie couldn’t help smiling a bit.

Any light in this shitstorm was welcome at this point.

Just as Eddie stepped out, he heard another terrible screech, not as loud as the one before, but closer.

He looked at the kids, looked out the door, and ran.

The kids were following, their plan gone to shit. Again.

As much as Eddie wanted to yell for Steve, he knew it would just draw attention to them and he had to keep the kids safe.

They had to get home.

He looked around; They weren’t far from the gate.

He could send the kids through, could try to find Steve while they got more help, more weapons.

Maybe some fucking water so he could rinse his mouth out from the dust in the air.

And then he saw it.

He didn’t think, he just ran, distance and exhaustion barely a problem.

Steve’s legs stuck out from behind a tree, pants visibly torn, even from a distance, even in the dark.

He hoped the kids were watching out for themselves, because all he could think right now was Steve, Steve, Steve.

Steve had definitely been attacked by one of the creatures, though it was hard to tell what, so much blood hiding where the true injuries were, hiding what they were.

His eyes were closed, his chest barely rising and falling.

“Steve. God, Stevie, please,” Eddie knelt by his side, touching his cheek and then doing a quick inventory of what he could see of his injuries.

His clothes were torn almost entirely, and he was actively bleeding from multiple spots on his chest and stomach, and definitely at least one leg had an open wound.

It didn’t look good, and if he’d already been bleeding like this for more than a minute, he could have already lost too much blood.

“Eddie!” Dustin called from only a few feet away.

God, he couldn’t see Steve like this. None of them could.

“Go through the gate! Get Nancy or Robin quick!”

He hoped his voice held together enough to get the point across without giving away how scared he was.

“But-“

“Dustin, not now! Go!”

That time even he could hear his fear.

He heard the kids talking to themselves as they walked just a bit further into the woods where the gate was.

“Stevie, sweetheart, hey. Can you open those beautiful eyes for me?” Eddie didn’t know what he was saying, didn’t think he could control a single word at this point as he tried to get Steve to open his eyes.

He was pulling off his shirt, ripping it in half to try to create a tourniquet to stop the bleeding on his leg, use the other one to apply pressure to the worst wound on his stomach.

Eddie didn’t know much first aid; He could patch up a cut, knew to put ice on injuries that might swell, knew how to pull a splinter out.

But he knew enough to know that if he didn’t stop the bleeding, Steve would die right here in this shittier version of Hawkins.

He started singing as he worked, though he couldn’t tell you what. His only active thoughts were figuring out how to get Steve out of there.

When he looked up at Steve’s face, his eyes were open.

They were glassy, unfocused, but open.

“Stevie! Hey!” Eddie leaned in closer, tried to get him to focus on his face.

“Mm.”

“Hey, whatcha lookin’ at?” Eddie was worried he hit his head, maybe got a concussion on top of everything else.

“You. Always lookin’ atcha,” Steve mumbled, barely audible.

“Sweetheart, what got you? Did you see?”

“Like that.”

“What?”

“Swee’hear’.”

Steve’s eyes were blinking slowly, his lids drooping more with each blink.

He was going to pass out again.

“You gotta keep those eyes open, then, sweetheart. Just a bit longer, okay? Robin’s comin’ for us. And we’re gonna get you to the hospital so they can get you stitched up,” he kept talking, hoping that it would keep Steve focused on something, keep him awake.

“Need a…nap.”

“No, no, Stevie, not yet! Just a bit longer, okay? Just stay awake for me,” Eddie begged as he put pressure on two different wounds, one with his bare hand, just hoping to keep things contained long enough to get real help.

“Dunno if…I c’n do…that.”

His breaths were getting more ragged, more wet.

That meant he was bleeding inside. Too much.

Eddie ignored the tears falling from his own eyes, tried to listen for any voices coming through the gate or any monsters who could smell the blood.

All was quiet.

Eddie had always hated the quiet.

He felt Steve’s hand on his own covering the wound on his chest, and Eddie let out a sob.

“Love you…got me?” Steve got out, his hand briefly squeezing Eddie’s, like he was using every ounce of energy he had to do it.

Eddie leaned his head down, rested his forehead against Steve’s.

“I love you so much, sweetheart. So much. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner how fucking in love with you I am. It’s been you since the beginning, it’s you now, it’s you forever, and that means this isn’t it right? You’re gonna make it out of here and then I’m gonna tell you I love you every single day for the rest of our lives,” Eddie cried.

He hoped if a monster came for them, it would end everything quickly.

“Eddie! Steve!”

Nancy.

“Over here!” Eddie called back, watching as Steve’s eyes closed, as his small, pained smile started to fade.

He was so pale, even in the darkness surrounding them, Eddie could see his usual flush and glow was gone.

Nancy dropped to her knees next to him, her voice sounding distant as he realized that Steve wouldn’t survive this.

No one could.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hospitals were the bane of his existence.

Not just because someone he loved was in it, toeing the line between alive and dead.

It just reeked of pain, physical and emotional, the halls haunted with a misery that no joy could ever truly wash away.

The kids were all huddled up on the two couches in the corner with Robin, Chrissy, and Nancy, unable to sleep, but lacking the energy to pace like Eddie was.

He wouldn’t rest until he knew that Steve was okay.

He felt hands on his shoulders, stopping him in his tracks.

“C’mere, kid.”

Wayne’s voice was like a shock to the system, but he felt some of the tension he’d been holding for 12 hours now leave his body.

He turned and collapsed against Wayne, a loud sob leaving his throat.

He could feel eyes on him, but he didn’t care.

Wayne would keep him safe, keep the others from asking questions or trying to comfort him before he was ready.

Wayne managed to get them in the chairs closest to where they were standing, letting Eddie hide his face against his shoulder and rubbing his arm and back as he let out his emotions.

Nurses and doctors came and went, patients and families came and went, but their group stayed.

Everyone loved Steve too much to leave.

But the kids did eventually have to leave, their parents showing up one by one to pick them up, faces frowning with concern, but not asking questions.

They all stopped to give Eddie a hug on the way out, asked him to keep them updated when he heard news.

He nodded, but he knew that Wayne would probably be the one giving updates, especially if it-

No. Nope. He wasn’t thinking of things going wrong.

Steve would be fine.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Another four hours passed before a doctor walked out into the waiting room calling for Wayne Munson.

Eddie shot up, running to the doctor, who looked exhausted, beaten down.

Wayne was right behind him, hand already settling on his arm to keep him from being a little too much for the doctor.

“You’re Steve Harrington’s medical proxy?”

“I am. Is he okay?”

“He’s alive. He lost a lot of blood so we had to give him two transfusions during surgery, and he’s receiving another one now in recovery. He’ll be moved to a room when that’s done and you can see him, but I have to warn you, he’s most likely going to be unconscious for a couple days as his body recovers. He’s lucky to be alive. I don’t know what attacked him, but whatever it was did a lot of permanent damage. He has extensive scarring on his torso and leg, and from a scan of his brain, we can tell he had some fluid buildup that could be due to head trauma. Do you know if he hit his head?”

“He’s had a history of concussions, so any bump could have done somethin’,” Wayne told him.

“We’ll keep an eye on it. If you guys wanna have a seat, a nurse will get you when he’s settled in his room.”

But Eddie couldn’t possibly settle anywhere now, not now that he knew Steve was alive, that he’d be okay even if he was covered in scars.

“You heard the man,” Wayne said as he sat back down in the chair he was in before.

“Can’t.”

“Ed-“

“Nope. Just can’t. Not yet.”

Wayne sighed, but didn’t argue further, knew better than to try when Eddie was set on something.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Like clockwork, a nurse came out to get them an hour later.

Wayne had called Robin, then Dustin, told them what he knew and to have them spread the word. He told them not to come by for a bit since Steve would be asleep, but Eddie knew it was because he wanted Eddie to have a little privacy first.

The nurse walked them down the long hall behind the doors, took a left turn, and continued down another hall for a minute before stopping outside of a door.

It was quiet in this hall, only the occasional beeps coming from rooms and a nurse silently passing by, heading towards the nurse’s station.

“You’re welcome to stay the night tonight since it’s late, but only one person can usually stay after visiting hours. There’s a cot in the room for you. He’s pretty heavily sedated so he won’t wake up anytime soon, but if for some reason he does, please let us know. I’m Faye, and the RN on duty is Caroline. We just ask you limit movement in the halls at night so other patients aren’t bothered.”

They both nodded, just wanting to get in the room and see Steve.

She opened the door for them, holding it while they walked in, and closing it behind them.

Eddie didn’t look at first, just walked to the bed with his face bent to the floor, unable to face Steve.

But Wayne was suddenly there, holding Steve’s hand, and Eddie had to look up, had to see for himself that it was his Stevie.

It was a version of Steve that Eddie loved more than the last, felt pangs in his chest at the sight of the heavily bandaged and bruised man in front of him.

He was beautiful, always beautiful.

Even like this.

“You take the cot, Ed. I won’t sleep for a while anyway,” Wayne offered quietly.

“I…” Eddie looked at the cot set up across the room, then back at Steve. “I need to be here.”

“You need sleep, son. Steve would want you to rest, too.”

Wayne was right, of course he was. But he couldn’t be that far from Steve right now.

Anything farther than touching distance was too far.

“I’ll sleep in the chair. I promise. I just need to hold his hand,” Eddie whispered.

Wayne seemed to think about it for a moment before finally sighing and nodding.

“Fine, but if you end up with back main, that’s your problem.:

Wayne leaned down to kiss an unbandaged part of Steve’s head and then made his way over to the cot, slipping his boots and jacket off before settling into it.

Eddie sat down in the chair by the hospital bed, gently holding Steve’s hand in his, making sure nothing could possibly hurt or pull on any of the wires hanging off of him.

He let his head rest on the bed next to their joined hands, his eyes closing as he watched Steve’s slow, steady breathing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

A thumb was tracing the back of his hand.

He smiled as he tried to sink further into the dream.

“He’s a sleepyhead.”

Eddie’s eyes shot open at the sound of Steve’s voice.

It was raspy, softer than usual, and slightly pained, but it was Steve.

“Stevie?”

“Mhm. Hey, Eds.”

Steve was awake, alive, here.

Eddie lifted his head and looked him over, noticing more of the bandages going across his chest.

“You almost died sweetheart.”

Steve blushed.

He blushed. He could do that again.

“I know.”

“You-“

“I didn’t.”

“But-“

“Eds.” Steve’s eyes bore into his own. “I didn’t.”

“Right. You didn’t,” Eddie said, looking at him in awe.

“And I’m sweetheart now, so that’s worth it.”

Now it was Eddie’s turn to blush, suddenly turning to see if Wayne was watching.

“Wayne ran home to grab some stuff for both of you and me.”

“You reading my mind?” Eddie laughed.

“No, unfortunately, all I got from the bats was some cool scars. No psychic mind powers. Hoping you might just answer a question though.”

“What’s that?”

“Did you mean it?”

Eddie’s heart dropped to his stomach, his stomach dropped to the floor.

“Mean what?”

“Eddie,” Steve rolled his eyes. “You said you loved me. Do you?”

“How do you remember that?”

“Been waiting for that for years. Hard to forget.”

“Years?” Eddie suddenly felt like an idiot, as he should.

He waited years to say what Steve waited years to hear. They wasted years.

“Years.”

“Don’t have to wait any more. If you don’t want to, I mean.”

Steve looked at him through glassy eyes, the pain medication still cycling through him.

But Eddie knew he was coherent, knew he was saying exactly what he meant.

“I love you, Eddie. Don’t wanna wait another minute, mkay?”

Eddie bit back tears, let himself feel Steve’s love.

It was warm, circled around him, settled in his chest next to the love he had for Steve.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

“Wanna kiss you,” Steve whined, though it was halfhearted, his eyes closed as he was getting closer to falling back asleep.

“When you wake up again, I’m gonna kiss you so hard, it’ll send you into a coma,” Eddie laughed, mostly to himself.

“Mhm, soun’s good.”

Steve’s eyes were closed, his mouth falling open as he fell asleep.

Eddie watched, knew the look on his face was ridiculous, lovestruck.

That’s how Wayne found them, and even though he could have poked fun, he didn’t.

He’d watched them be idiots for years, he could hold back on the teasing for a little bit longer.

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#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #ao3fic #wayne munson #robin buckley #it led me to you #stranger things #chapter 5

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