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#multigender attraction spectrum
callistoisgay · 1 year
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Hello, I Made An Updated Version Of The Polysexual Flag!
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the pink stripes represent:
queer love
arospec and acespec and polyamorous polysexuals
attraction to many, but not all genders
the white stripe represents:
transgender, genderqueer, nonbinary, and otherwise cisn't polysexuals
and the dusty lavender stripes represent:
defiance against heteronormativity, allonormativity, cisnormativity
defiance against monosexism
solidarity with other multisexuals
lavender and pink were chosen as the primary colors because of their significant history in the queer community and how it represents love respectively; I specifically chose that shade of pink as it was the first stripe of the OG polysexual flag
my reasoning for making a replacement was to make a polysexual flag that is more accessible and has more meaning for our community, as I felt the OG polysexual lacked both of these things as the flags meaning isn't all to different than the pansexual flag + it's design causes many people including myself eyestrain
I hope you all like it!
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Inclusionists and Radqueers
(quick note, I use the term "queer community" instead of "lgbtq+ community")
I think that many people need to know the difference between inclusionists and radqueers because a surprising amount of people don't.
One of the main differences is that inclusionists know the difference between valid, good-faith terminology and bad-faith, troll terminology, while radqueers do not (or don't care). This means that both inclusionists and radqueers accept communities such as xenogenders, neopronouns, a-specs (asexual spectrum, and aromantic spectrum), m-specs (multigender spectrum), and m-specs (multi-sexual/attraction spectrum) as valid parts of the queer community. However, radqueers take this many leaps further by accepting (harmful) xenogenders, (harmful) neopronouns (usually nounself pronouns based on sensitive topics or offensive words), and just generally harmful terms (e.g. transracial, z00philes, pokesexual, MAPs), as a part of the queer community.
This again, is one of the largest differences between inclusionists and radqueers. Many inclusionists understand the harm radqueers cause the queer community, and do not associate themselves with them due to this fact.
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cock-holliday · 10 months
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When I first came out as trans I knew I wasn’t my AGAB, and my transition goal was to be cis-passing. I eventually got there, only to find that something was missing. And during that stage I realized I was not a woman or a man.
I stopped identifying with either binary, and flirted with labels like transmasc or trsnsfemme, but found that both fit various stages of my fluctuating identity. Depending on how I wished to be read I took passing tips from trans men and trans women both. I thought to use both terms but then primarily using whichever was more accurate at the time.
I know multigender people have used terms like transfemmasc. I don’t know if that fits me, but I realized that IDing as transfemme made people think I never had a transmasc experience and IDing as transmasc made people assume of course I didn’t know what anything transfemme was like.
Regardless of if I leaned towards female or male, my gender was always fairly masculine. I liked the broadness of the word “butch.” There are transmasc butches AND transfemme butches. Men and women can use it! Butch tells you nothing beyond “queerly masculine.”
My attraction to men and my attraction to women feels equally queer to me! I do not feel compatibility with straight men OR straight women.
It’s very tricky to figure out where in trans experience I fit, having seen…a lot. And plenty of it contradicts itself. Not only is it a nonbinary experience but there are aspects of transfeminity and transmasculinity that I connect to. What does that make me?
And regardless of how I feel, how I get read has been such a spectrum. Cis man, cis woman, trans man, trans woman? Not really any of them but also kind of some of them?
“AMAB experience” “AFAB experience” yeah two polar binaries with no overlap. “TMA” vs “TME” right, transphobes know your history and know whether you’re allowed to be targeted in certain ways.
Are you nonbinary in a girl way or a boy way?
Trans spaces reinvent boy vs girl shit over and over and over again. What if you’re neither? What if you’re both? What if you fluctuate?
An oscillating fan DOES move left-to-right but it’s not a left-to-right turning fan! Or not ONLY! It’s something else entirely!
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Monospec Pride Flag
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Mono-spec (mono- spectrum): an umbrella term for identities related to experiencing attraction to one gender [plus affection/relationships involving one gender].
The spectrum includes those who are exclusively attracted to sole one singular gender only (suptilic), and those who are fluid (i.e. abro-, novo-, amplusic), multioriented/centrioriented, varioriented/variangled, also mspec (multispec), cupiospec, orchidspec, or otherwise a-spec (e.g. arospec, acespec, aplspec, etc.) [along with other possible combinations].
For example, someone who is both gay and bi could consider their homo attraction as monospec. Lesbihets/straightbians could be monospec as a result of being multigender/genderfluid (could be a form of novosexuality). Anattractional viramorics or feminamorics could be monospec because of their affection or relationships, instead of their lack of attraction.
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multigenderswag · 10 months
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Genuine question here why does the queer community ?dislike? multigender people? I'm not really "in the know" when it comes to this stuff (but I would like to be) Thank you!
A lot of it is very similar to biphobic arguments- the idea that people have to "pick a side" or get told to ignore one half of their identity. I can't fully speak on the similarities, since I'm not bisexual, but there's a post here that explains it very well.
I guess a lot of people, even those who have done surface level unlearning the gender binary, still believe that different genders don't overlap and that you can't be more than one simultaneously. We've done the step of recognizing that two separate gender boxes don't work, but a lot of people have just created a third box of "nonbinary."
Even when people see gender as a spectrum like it's a line, male and female are on opposite ends. So even though some people can comprehend "masculine side of nonbinary" and "feminine side of nonbinary," they can't quite comprehend "two binary genders," which is why there's much more (though still not enough!) recognition for he/they and she/they pronouns than there is for he/she. Pronouns don't always equal gender, but this is still an example of how maleness and femaleness are often seen as mutually exclusive. Instead of seeing a bigender male/female person as both of their genders, those genders seem to "cancel out" and that person gets seen as genderless or gender neutral. After I came out as using he/she pronouns, people very frequently just used they/them for me.
In some cases, people can recognize a multigender person as multiple different genders, just not multiple genders at one time. A lot of people asked me if I was genderfluid when I came out, because "sometimes boy, sometimes girl" fit into their understanding of gender, but "boygirl" didn't.
A big part of the current exclusion of multigender people is regarding sexuality. People will say that multigender people who are both men and women can't identify as lesbians or as gay men. A multigender person who is both a man and a woman, who is attracted to men, may be excluded from a MLM space that says women aren't allowed. Another thing that's common is for multigender people to identify as both straight and gay. A male + agender person might identify as both a straight man and a nonbinary lesbian. This type of identity is frequently seen as invalid, or worse, actively bigoted.
Basically, many people- even queer people!- see different genders as mutually exclusive. So multigender folks don't fit into their worldview, which makes them confused and frequently hostile, especially in the context of sexuality.
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smilestimz · 2 months
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To put it simply: Mspec means basically: Multisexual spectrum, Or Multi-attraction spectrum- Aka romantic or Sexual Orientations like Bisexual N Pansexual where someone is attracted to multiple genders! Being Mspec gay or Mspec lesbian in simple terms means someone who is gay but also being mspec- example being someone who is bi but also gay. There's many reasons why someone identify this way- one specifically being that person is multigender and being gay and mspec both working for you/you identifying as such- Which I describe myself as.
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redtail-lol · 1 year
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Is there a full/bigger version of yr pfp?? I fckn love lgballt sonas and I need to see yours for scientific purposes. /nf
Yeah and a flag guide that I'll provide but keep in mind it hasn't been updated in a while and I'll have a new one soon
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Term Definitions because I can. Some definitions are personal to me and not general definitions
Woman/Girl: A gender identity that is connected to femininity and the female sex
Cisgender: Someone who's gender identity is congruent with their AGAB
Cisconfusgender: A cis person who often is unsure of their gender but always comes to the conclusion they're cisgender. I didn't coin this term but I made the flag based on a description of it
Quoieuphoric: Someone who isn't sure what gender euphoria feels like or if they feel it. I coined this term myself!
She/her/hers/herself: Someone who would appreciate if you referred to her by she/her pronouns
They/them/their/theirs/themselves: Someone who would appreciate it if you referred to them by they/them pronouns
Femme: Someone who presents femininely
Aspec: Someone on the ace, aro, or other a-spectrum(s)
Arosespec: Someone who is on both the aro and ace spectrums
Acespec: Someone who is on the asexual spectrum
Arospec: Someone who is on the aromantic spectrums
Asexual: Someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction at all (personal use definition)
Cupiosexual: Someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction but still desires a sexual relationship
Demiromantic: Someone who experiences romantic attraction exclusively to people they have formed a strong emotional bond with
Cupioromantic: Someone who desires a romantic relationship even in the absence of romantic attraction (personal use definition)
Angled Aroace: Someone who is on both aro and ace spectrums but isn't fully ace, aro, or either
Lesbian: A feminine, neutrally, xenically, or unaligned person who is attracted, usually exclusively, to other feminine, neutrally, xenically, or unaligned genders. This is a definition I came up with that I think accomplishes what the nonmen definition attempted to describe and doesn't exclude multigender/multialigned people and acknowledges the common exclusive use of today but doesn't exclude historical use. (personal use definition)
Aurora Lesbian: An all inclusive alt flag. An aurora lesbian can be considered an all inclusive lesbian
Lunian: An mspec lesbian
Bi lesbian: Someone who's bi attraction is also simultaneously lesbian attraction because it's only towards people who are considered part of lesbian attraction (personal use definition)
Sapphic: WLW, doesn't have to be exclusive.
Midnight Sapphic: A sapphic who feels othered and ostracized from the greater sapphic community for their identity
Omni lesbian: Someone who is attracted to all genders considered part of lesbian attraction (personal use definition)
Bi lesbian with bi- as a modifier: Someone who primarily identifies as a lesbian, and sees being a bi lesbian as a subset of that lesbian attraction
Neptunic lesbian: A lesbian who is also neptunic
Closeted mspec lesbian: An mspec lesbian who is closeted about being an mspec lesbian in at least one aspect of their life
Acespec Mspec Lesbian (yeah apparently it's not just the acespec lesbian flag oops): An mspec lesbian who is acespec
Neptunic: Someone who is exclusively attracted to all non-masc genders
Bi: Someone who is attracted to multiple genders. Commonly used to mean not all genders and with gender as a factor, but because of its history, it can refer to any mspec attraction
Multi: Someone who is attracted to multiple genders. An umbrella term for bi/pan/poly/omni
Mspec: Someone who is on the multispectrum
Bi-Gay: Someone who considers their attraction bi and gay (gender neutral)
Stellian: Someone who considers their attraction mspec and gay (gender neutral)
LGBTQ: Someone who is not an allocishet
Autistic: I'm not yet diagnosed and I'm working on it but I believe I am on the autism spectrum/have autism spectrum disorder. You can use person first or identity first language I don't mind either.
Queer: Someone who reclaims Queer as an identity. Not all LGBTQ people will be queer, because we should acknowledge that is has been used to harm people and they may still have trauma with the word queer.
Inclusionist: Someone who includes all good faith identities and seeks understanding before calling something nonsense.
Lykoi Lesbian: A lesbian inclusionist group that passively fights exclusionism by being inclusive.
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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year
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can you explain bi gay as an identity? i've only heard ppl argue against it but not what it is
also yeah google is free but it just gave me basic lgbt vocab lists sadly
yes i can!
mspec (which stands for multi spectrum attraction, such as bi, pan, etc) lesbians/gays can identify as such for many reasons. there’s not one catch-all way to succinctly sum up why someone might identity with those labels, but here’s some common reasons:
they’re following the split-attraction model (ex. someone who’s homosexual but biromantic)
they’re attracted to/in a relationship with someone who is multigender
they identify as abrosexual/abromantic and have a fluid sexuality
they’re using it to emphasize their orientation (ex. being bisexual, but being more primarily focused on same-gender attraction).
reclaiming the historical usage of the term “lesbian”
i, personally, identify as bi-gay because while i am very much attracted to both men and women, i cannot currently envision myself in a relationship with a woman. i’m far more comfortable describing myself as gay, so i mesh the two together as a way to paint a fuller picture/capture both sides of my attraction ^_^
focusing on that last point of the list, which i feel is the most important, lesbian did not always mean someone who is only attracted to women! up until the 1970’s, lesbian solely meant a woman who was in a relationship with another woman, regardless of their sexuality. in the 70’s, however, radical feminists pushed for lesbian separatism, which pushed many bisexual women from their own communities because they “weren’t enough” or were “traitors to their own community” for sleeping with men. it’s also of note to mention that, because this was a push by radical feminists, it also pushed out many trans women, as well, (and if i recall, women of color) and the push against bi-lesbianism is still rooted in terf ideology to this day, if not outright pushes it. this carrd has a lot of good sources if you’d like to do some further digging into the matter yourself, but that’s the basic gist of things!
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trans-yaoi · 13 days
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I desperately need the queer community to understand that human existence is a spectrum. putting people in boxes with rigid definitons is not going to work. I thought people already knew this, because queer history is just us going AGAINST the boxes society wants us to be in. Seriously.
Male lesbians exist. Oh? The term “lesbian” is strictly women who like women? What if the person is multigender but only attracted to women, what are they? and what if they identify as both male and female? Hell, if we go by THAT defition, what are nonbinary people attracted exclusively to women?
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butchdykekondraki · 5 months
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Reeeeally odd ask i know but bear with me. As someone who’s anti mspec could you explain to me why it’s valid?? /gen. I want to learn, genuinely, because I’ve only heard the “well it’s lesbian and bi erasure if you’re a bi lesbian because that’s not how it works” thing and I’ve always been like “oh yeah, that makes sense” and sorta moved on with my day. I’ve also heard the “oh but they’re homosexual and biromantic that’s why they’re a bi lesbian” which also doesn’t make sense to me because wouldn’t you just call it homosexual biromantic instead of a term that’s often misread?? like it would just be really nice to clear up exactly what mspec is from someone who’s pro mspec since I’m curious about it. Regardless if it changes my views I’d love to hear your thoughts on it so I can learn. Thank you if you respond to this
oh yeah totally dude i'd be glad to!! basically the reason mspec lesbianism exists is because lesbianism (and queerness) is like a spectrum, yknow?? not everyone is going to have the same kind of experience! in my case i'm a bisexual lesbian because i'm multigender, and my attraction to women specifically is in a lesbian way, while my bisexuality is just like. yk. bisexuality. mspec lesbianism/queerness is a term you'll often see with multigendered people, like myself, but really that's not something that all mspec lesbians/gays will attribute it to. some people just have their attraction to women or men be a different feeling than how they feel their bisexuality/pansexuality/etc is (like mine!!) yk?? anyway. no clue if that like. makes a lot of sense or not. but i hope it does lol
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your-pal-nebula · 5 months
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Currently thinking about what I like to call my "queer discovery phase" from when I was 10-11
It's pretty self-explanatory, I started identifying as queer and was learning about different sexualities and gender identities online. And every time my reaction was something along the lines of "YOOO THAT'S SIIIIIIICCCCCCKKKK"
"So... genderfluid. Your gender changes over time? Wow, that's cool, you're like a shape-shifter. Bigender? You're both male and female at once? HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO INTERESTING AND COOL OF YOU! Pansexuality? Omnisexuality? You're telling me bisexuality is a spectrum? Oh wow, that's good to know. Demigirls? Demiboys? Oh, now THAT'S neat. Wait... panromantic? What's that? Asexual people can still feel romantic attraction? Not all ace people are aro and not all aros are ace? Woah, that's interesting!"
So like. To all multigender, ace, genderfluid, enby, bi lesbains, any of the other identities listed, anybody who's been told their identity isn't valid/doesn't exist, xenogenders, neoprounoun users, all you "weird" queer people: my past 10yo self is looking at you, beaming, and telling you how cool and interesting your gender identity and sexuality are.
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whats mspec gay/lesbian?
There's not really one way to describe WHAT an mspec gay or mspec lesbian is, and that's partially because being mspec is a spectrum, and everyone's experience being an mspec gay/lesbian/mono is typically very personal.
For some, being mspec gay/lesbian/mono is because they...
Are using the split-attraction model / SAM ( ex: biromantic and homosexual )
Are questioning their identity and are confused about whether they're mono or mspec ( ex: someone questioning if they're straight or pansexual )
Are nonbinary, genderfluid, or multigender and their attraction feels both mono and mspec ( ex: a genderfluid person feeling like they're both a lesbian and straight )
Are someone with a fluid orientation ( ex: abrosexual / abroromantic ) and switching between two or more identities ( ex: an abrosexual person who defines themselves as bigay because they're fluid between the labels bisexual and gay )
Are a system that is collectively made up of mono and mspec headmates / alters ( ex: a system being made up of both lesbian and pansexual headmates / alters so they collectively identify as a pan lesbian )
And a ton of other reasons!
To put it simply, there is no one definitive mspec mono experience or explanation.
If you are still confused I would recommend these sources for more information on mspec monos:
Mspec gay carrd
Mspec gay culture is carrd
Mspec lesbian carrd
Lesbian label history
Bi lesbian / gay masterdoc
Straight gay / vincian carrd
Straight lesbian carrd
If I find more good resources I will add on!
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Straight [Premium]/Straight Premium
Straight Premium is an identity for people who identify as Heterosexual/Straight with a little more. This could be Asexual Spectrum Hets, Aromantic Spectrum Hets, Alterous/Platonic Hets, Mspec Hets, Bicurious Hets, Heteroflexible or any other heterosexual identifier that feels like they fit the definition of "Straight and a little more."
While having a genital preference is totally okay this term is NOT to be used as a synonym to "Super Straight" or any other transphobic identity. This identity is NOT to be used by homo/trans/nb/aspec/mspec/etc.-phobic people.
This term can be used as a stand alone or as an umbrella term for someone's identity. Examples would be:
Straight Premium as a Stand Alone: "I'm Max and I identify as male and am attracted to women. My attraction to women is not limited to binary women as anyone who identifies themself as a woman in any way, shape, or form, I'm open to potentially being attracted to." Straight Premium as an Umbrella: "I'm Jane Doe and I identify as a woman and am attracted to men. I use a few mspec het identities but to capture all of them I use Straight Premium."
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Black and white being reminiscent of the straight ally flag, the gold representing the ~premium~. The gold also represents broad attraction.
Idfc who uses this label, just follow the definition and remember that this includes aspec, trans, nb, multigender, contradictory, mspec, and exploration identities so if you're against any of that this term DOES NOT define you.
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cock-holliday · 6 months
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do you... do you think there would be any possibility that a butch would like men? im not trying to like, say that there SHOULD be butches who like men, im not trying to overstep into lesbian spaces and make people uncomfortable just... i love butch women. i love how cool they look. masculine women just are so wonderful and awesome and... it legit makes me sad to know that i'll never be able to enjoy the intimate company of people i admire and appreciate so much because im a boring old cis dude. last time i made a comment on a butch positivity post i got people misgendering me and calling me an egg who doesnt know it yet and im like... no, im legit a cis dude i just like butch women...
Well, as a bisexual butch I can say that yeah, there are butches who like men. There are butches who are men, or are sometimes men. It’s messier than we want to think. I like queerness in others, so I find plenty of people attractive across a spectrum of identity: masculine and feminine men, masculine and feminine women, I like androgynous people.
I’m also multigender/genderfluid, which makes for an interesting situation being on the receiving end of attraction. Sometimes people who like women like me for being like women, sometimes people who like men like me for being like men. It always begs the question, if they like me for the Girl side, do they also like the Guy side? And vice versa.
I like people who are queer and like them in a queer way regardless of how our genders look paired together to people. And things are even messier when you take into account GNC folks! There are feminine straight men, masculine straight women, and plenty of bi folks who deviate from expectations!
Attraction is complicated! I know plenty of women who like feminine men while being straight (and a fuckload more who do this that are bi), and I’ve seen the same be true for men who are into masculine women!
It is tricky to navigate and respect of boundaries is important—I can sympathize that as a multigender person, it is difficult to talk to queer women sometimes that 1. do not like men or like you aligning with men 2. try to assign womanhood to you or MORE to you than you are comfortable with.
You can definitely be interested in women who are GNC/butch/masculine and there are plenty of those folks who are interested in men. It’s hard to navigate and try not to take offense if they do not reciprocate because you are a guy, but also don’t let it discourage you of the idea that masculine women could be (and are) interested in men.
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aroaceconfessions · 1 year
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i think I'm orchidromantic cupiosexual. oh the irony. not to mention I'm also a gender non conforming non-binary man. sometimes i feel like a walking contradiction.
like yes i feel romantic attraction. no i don't want a romantic relationship.
no i don't feel sexual attraction. yes i'm interested in a sexual relationship.
yes i'm a man. yes i'm also non-binary (multigender w/ xenogenders). yes i like dresses and painting my nails, no i'm not a woman.
sometimes it feels like i've really got one foot on each side of every line. like i'm too binary to relate to fully non-binary people, but i'm too non-binary to fit in with fully binary people either. i feel too much romantic attraction to really relate to aromantics, but i don't fit in amatonormative society either due to just wanting to take my qpr and go home (figuratively). i don't understand sexual attraction or relate to allosexuals at all, but wanting sexual interaction at all makes me feel like I'm "not ace enough" to fit in ace circles either.
i guess all this to say that the only place I seem to fit in within any community is the spectrum. still not sure if allo&amato-nonconforming or aro-spec is a better label for me, but I think under certain definitions I could be considered aro-spec, ace-spec, and somewhere on the spectrum between (or including both of) binary and non-binary.
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pronounpinbadge · 1 year
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as a bigender person, trans ambiguous, girlboy, multigender-spectrum whatever you want to read me as who was born with this cunt of mine, pinning down my gay attractions specifically is difficult. i want to talk about it not to move sway from my ambiguous label of queer but to maybe give some people a relatable perspective. its a big big grey area of privilege and my trans identity in relation to transmisogyny
i identified as a lesbian when i was 12. its not my first time being in this community and i am a woman who loves women. lesbian. but im a man, too; the gender traitor who left womanhood for the privilege of intruding malehood. not a lesbian. and im t4t, a dirty chaser! lesbian, but fetishistic.. and then on top of all of that, im attracted to men and other grey identities too?! its a back and forth of reasons why im a lesbian, why im not, why my identity is discounted (youre a butch lesbian not a man) or proven (youre just a man objectifying our wlwlove). it takes a big step up and defining yourself your own way without asking others for 'the rules of queer attraction': i want a girlfriend to call me her girlfriend. im a lesbian. and when i want a boyfriend to call me his boyfriend, im a homo. its both at once, all the time.
its interesting to think about. and i encourage commenting on this -- my attraction to women is gay and my attraction to men is gay. im a lesbian and a homo. binary bigenderism is very often not considered at all in the inane arguments around lesbians definition in regards to non-lesbians, but we should be. sincerely, a queer who likes to type 🫶
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