Tumgik
#my biggest trauma from anime i swear
this-is-mimosa · 9 months
Text
Tumblr media
uhm guys... isn't it a bit early to complete the sentence like that??...
~
almost all bsd fandom: we are grieving since dazai and chuuya have died...
chuuya:...uhm hello?...
fans: sometimes we can still hear their voice...
9 notes · View notes
rainofthetwilight · 17 days
Note
LEVI I WANNA GIVE YOU TRAMUA ABOUT ARIN
So, we all know that Arin is struggling to improve his spinjitzu and he feels useless and just wants his parents back.
…He feels jealous. And we know that he doesn’t have an elemental power according to Doc Wyatt.
And he will *probably* fight Sora if he finds out that Sora “helped” his Object Spinjitzu.
What I see from Arin is that he is slowly getting traumatized..
And I have multiple questions from where Arin’s arc is going.
My biggest question is, is the ninja holding Arin him back or his parents holding him back? I think it both.
Not to mention that there is so much foreshadowing to Arin’s arc.
And why do I imagine Arin is just trapped in like, a cage full of insecurities, or trauma? And I can imagine that he can’t get out of that cage.
Ras said that Arin is not improving since the first time they met, Egalt said that Arin is useless, Sora is improving and might be able to learn spinjitzu, and most importantly, Lloyd’s and Arin’s relationship is slowly falling apart like Wu and Morro.
My poor Arin is just having one HECK of a trauma here. And I swear to the Fsm if the writers gives Arin has even more trauma in season 2 part 2 than part 1 I will throw a chair.
But who knows…? Someone said that it was a cannon event that every sunshine character has an angst arc.
Sorry for making you insane, Levi I just wanted to share this idea with you just for fun.
And also, do you think that Arin is going through 5 stages of grief or..? Idk, I wanted to ask you and tell me what’s your thoughts on this.
Tumblr media
AHDHAJDBJAJDJAJSNANA YEAH I'M. I'M NOT OKAY RN 👍👍👍
also absolutely do NOT apologize for making me insane I am literally loving these asks so much bro SHDJAJDJW 😭 I love analysing silly lil lego characters w/ you all <333
the thing about the foreshadowing is that it actually feels very intentional, like obv I know foreshadowing is pretty much always intentional but like..you get what I mean?
they are constantly reminding us how much of a great person arin is, in s1 especially. he's a good friend, he's kind, he trusts people quickly, always has that hope in him and so much more. something is definitely going to happen, even if the whole sora helping him thing didn't happen, he is going to be put through the wringer whether if he actually gets an evil arc or not
plus, he already is traumatized. loosing your parents and neighborhood all in one day while navigating an entire new world with so many new places and people on your own (at first) , while only being atleast 10 years old, is pretty traumatizing all in itself. but even after all of these years, he still had hope, he still had hope that his parents and heros could come back. and guess what? his heros did come back, and what did he exactly say again?
''if I loose hope the ninja could come back, then I loose hope that my parents could come back."
even after the ninja came back, his parents didn't. all these years he relied on his hope for the ninja to come back to bring his parents back aswell, but their whereabouts are still unknown. add that to the extreme pressure of saving the world from ending and the amount of self doubt he has, that's when the shell of his hope finally began to crack
in s1, the return of the ninja gave him even more hope than he had before. he was still excited and animated, and finally got his dreams to come true (becoming a ninja). the thought of his parents holding him back didn't plague him as much as now, because that hope in him was still there and it only grew stronger each adventure. but now, even after a long while since the ninja had came back, his parents were nowhere to be found. and that just hurts
dude the insecurities part AGHDJS...the weight of being a ninja was finally becoming heavy on his shoulder and that only added to his frustration and anger of not being good enough. he sees his friends around him improve, and be useful in a way, unlike how he had failed time and time again without achieving results. and with egalt calling him useless and ras constantly reminding him how he still hadn't improved, and he feels jealous even tho he doesn't want to, and it just made everything worse.
I'm also thinking abt how sora accidently reminded him of how he didn't imporve aswell, by saying "your spinjitzu is just as good as when I met you!". and even though she meant it in absolute good faith, that's just it to arin. that's it, he was still in the same level he was the first time, he didn't improve. and with how he got angry at her when she was only trying to cheer him up after what happened, I can't even imagine what would happen if the news of that spinjitzu throw help thing comes out
ALSO. ARIN GOING THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF. DUDE NOW THAT I THINK ABT IT..
anon had also sent an ask abt this too!!!
Tumblr media
so like, now that I actually think abt it, what if that hope was actually just a cover of his denial? the five stages as we all know are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance in that order. so like...what if that hope wasn't really hope, but instead a disguise for denial?
whenever the topic of his parents came up, especially in s1, he kept denying the fact they wouldn't come back. same with the ninja, he still believed they were out there
and now in s2, we see his self doubt and his trauma catch onto him. we saw how angry he was at himself, even to the point of shoving lloyd away when trying to comfort him and almost snapping at sora when she was trying to do the same. we don't see much of that 'hope' like in s1 anymore. it's much more..sadder, more angrier even
and with all this, he's most definitely going through them, now on the second stage. first in denial of his parents and the ninja not returning, and now anger at himself and the world for hating him like this
when I tell you I am so so excited to see what they do with arin's arc w/ all of this going on for his character I am not lying bro, I'm so insane AHDJSKDJJW 😭👍
28 notes · View notes
tetitous · 2 months
Text
Fucking hell...
First, yeah Eva's reaction was about what I would imagine. It's all fine and good to be able to know what your kids are doing at all times, just hearing doesn't qualify as being present, let alone raise a child.
Flopin's reaction though, I was surprised by. Not feeling like he belongs in his own family is something that makes sense though. I am still very sad about it.
Ruel! He's hilarious ! I need him to get angrier and more desperate, I really think I'll need him next week...
I'm always fascinated that Yugo's reaction to traumatic situations is anger. I don't believe Qilby a single second when he says he doesn't like violence, dude really acts like his actions aren’t as bad as they are and then Yugo's wrong because he's the angry one, but one of Yugo's biggest flaws is how judgmental he can be. I do think his distrust comes from a place that makes total sense so while I'm a bit frustrated I don't think I would have much tolerance for Qilby in his situation either.
Nora having ✨️severe trauma✨️, love to see it ( I really don't, I think she also deserves some napies) I really liked the animation sequence about her exploring the Krosmoz, looking for her mother.
The fact the eliatropes "need to prove themselves " to earn the right to exist anywhere fucks me up, ngl
Yugo keeps going through it seems to be the theme of this season, damn...
Tumblr media
Glad for the Joris rep, one of my favorite little guys
The ending to ep 8 is going to make me go insane I swear.
37 notes · View notes
writerofadream · 4 months
Text
Fortune favors the Bold ⛓
TDI!Duncan x Juvie Bestfriend! Reader ⛓
Chapter Twenty Two: WHY AM I DREAMING OF US MARRIED (Your in love idiot is that why?)
Tumblr media
Everyone was sitting on stumps as you all watched the horror movie play from the projector. Unsurprisingly, Duncan and you had seen the movie, so Duncan was excitedly watching it, and you were staring at it rather bored.
“The killer is gonna go for the car.” You said, sounding terribly bored, with your head in your hands. There were about a hundred other things you’d like to do.
Duncan’s attention turned over to DJ who was cowering in his seat. “Dude, how do you get any girls?” Duncan asked and DJ scowled right before going back to cowering.
Duncan’s eyes flicked over to you as if asking you what women see in DJ. “I mean we like guys with animals.” You shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. “Good thing I got two snakes, and a piranha.” Duncan smiled as you ruffled his hair.
“That’s right, sugar.” 
“...does it help I have seven older brothers who have been begging me to date you since I’m pretty sure you were born?” Duncan sighed smiling into his palm.
“They were shipping a newborn and a one year old?” You said raising an eyebrow and Duncan’s smile dropped. “No- forget I told you that.” You rolled your eyes. But you finally noticed that DJ was still shaking in his seat even after the movie had ended.
“What part scared you the most?” Duncan asked his friend, sounding way too interested to be safe, trying to convey that ‘this idiot looks like he’s about to wet his pants, shut your mouth.’ But Duncan smirked, sending you a discreet wink as he continued.
“Was it the part where everyone met a grisly death? Or was it the psycho killer with the-'' as he pulled out his ‘hook’ hand, Leshawna stifled her laughter as she watched you mimic his movements. 
“Really, what’s your obsession with having a hook for a hand?” You set your hands on your hips causing Duncan to laugh. “You look just like your mom.” He smiled, and your heart crinkled at the memory. Duncan had begged Chris to put on a horror movie for you, since you had been having a terrible day so far. 
Grief sucks. Grief sucks a lot. 
“Come on Deej, for a slasher flick, that was pretty tame.” Gwen sighed, staring disappointed at the man, who shrieked sheepishly. You nodded agreeing with her. “Yeah there was no hacking. Not like Blood-Bath 2 Summer Camp of Terror.” You muttered as you sat back down. Have you ever heard the quote “Grief comes and goes in waves?” 
Annoyingly, it’s not wrong. “Yo, that’s my favorite movie! I love it when the killer dude sticks that guy's hand in the lawn mower.” Gwen mimicked her words, and you smiled softly. 
“Or when he pushes that one chick off the dock, and she lands on a propeller blade that slices her in half.” You remembered that was the one scene that got Duncan to scream when you were eight. 
Duncan today just gave you a look that meant ‘I swear if you tell them I’m going to tackle you’.
Suddenly Duncan noticed that DJ was still freaking out each time you mentioned the events so Duncan got in real close and whispered. “Or when he shoves the biggest dude into the woodchipper and plays with the confetti.” DJ screamed like a little girl and jumped into Leshawna's arms.
“Marry me?” You lightly chuckled, wrapping your arms around Duncan and leaning down (he was sitting where you were standing) before kissing his cheek. “Keep doing that and I might.” He mumbled before he realized what he said and stood straight up.
“It’s just mindless guts and gore.” Heather grumbled rolling her eyes. “Hey horror movies have a lot of psychological trauma.” Duncan pointed out and your eyebrows furrowed on your forehead before you spoke again. “So did both our childhoods…” you pointed out to Duncan. “Why do you think they were so fun?” Duncan said sadly kissing your forehead.
“Does anyone know what our challenge is this week?” Heather finally asked. “That’s a good question, it’s Sunday doesn’t he usually tell it to us at midnight?” You asked, suddenly looking around for the man.
Eventually Duncan and you found Chris and Chef on the dock hurriedly packing. “Is there a fire, Chef?” Duncan raised an eyebrow. The man ran onto the boat before he could respond.
“Bye beautiful, I'm gonna tell everyone we’re married.” Chris yelled to you as the boat quickly lodged off. The rest of the campers had followed you in pursuit since they had long-realized that out of the two of you, you were the better tracker. 
“You forgot this!” Owen yelled as he picked up a backpack from the dock. A newspaper fell out, you stared at it before Owen picked it up. “This is totally the challenge isn’t it?” Duncan whispered in your ear, you weakly smiled, nodding.
“Escaped psycho killer on the loose.” Owen read aloud. “Be on the lookout for a man wearing a hockey mask, who has a hooked hand and is holding a chainsaw. You raised an eyebrow. “This might be for you.” Duncan realized. 
“The plot to the Chains of Massacre: Deep in Camp, how’d he know that was my favorite movie?” You mumbled to your boyfriend who looked sheepish. “I may, or may not talk to the cameras about you a lot.” Duncan said all in one big quick sentence.
You turned around to look at him as the other campers discussed what was happening. “That’s a little bit terrifying, cute, but terrifying cause I do the same just not to the cameras, honestly a lot to Bridgette.” You admitted quietly. “Oh trust me I don’t shut up about you around her.” Duncan quietly chuckled remembering the multiple incidents.
Suddenly Owen pulled some stuff out of the backpack. Chris’s hair gel, the taser for Duncan and you, as well as a picture of you working out, a little remote, the strangest part was that during the time the picture was taken Duncan had been working out with you as well and he had been cut out of the picture. “Woah, maybe this is for real.” Gwen whispered, shocked. 
Duncan sneaked around the group before snatching the tasers and the remote out of Owen’s huge hands. He threw all three into the water and whooped.
The ankle monitor that was designed to keep you from leaving the island and would shock you unless given permission was finally done. A small smile graced upon your face. “Also, can I have that?” You snatched the picture of you out of Owen’s hands and Duncan threw you his lighter.
You held it under the picture before telling the group to continue on with their concerns. 
Duncan watched as the flames reflected in your eyes and he smiled. Doing those tasks was the first step of surviving Chris McClean.
Sadly somewhere on the island Chris laughed, replicas, everything was merely replicas. Duncan cheerfully waved goodbye to Heather as she stormed off. “Five bucks, Chef kills her on ‘accident’?” You whispered to him and he stifled a laugh. “Oh 100%.” He smirked, shaking your hand. 
Gwen shrugged, flipping the girl off behind her back before saying. “The first thing we should do is strategize back at camp. Anyone in?”
You nodded giving her a thumbs up and Duncan shrugged, “I kinda don’t go anywhere without her so-” he smiled pointing at you and you punched his shoulder. 
You all sat down around the campfire, but the sitting on the stump was killing your posture slowly so you sat on the sand but very quickly a tired green puppy *cough, Duncan, cough* had wrapped his arms around you and buried his chin into your collarbone and somehow was already snoring.
“I don’t understand how your boy hasn’t ability to sleep on command.” Leshawna sighed clearly wishing she was asleep instead of listening to Gwen go in with the rules.
“Where’s Izzy and Owen?” The goth girl demanded. “I believe they are currently breaking rules on through three, teacher.” You smiled cheekily. “That’s Ms. Teacher to you, sweetheart.” Gwen smirked right before  winking. 
You gave her a weak smile in return before she went off in her monotone voice going on about which camper should do what and yadda, yadda, yadda. 
Your eyes flickered to sleep and you snuggled into Duncan’s chest listening to the soft sounds of him fast asleep. You awoke to Gwen lightly hitting your shoulder. “Why is Leshawna gone?” She asked you. ���She went to get some chow.” You sadly forced yourself around Duncan’s arms and his strong grip even when he was fast asleep.
 
You had gotten a little rest and felt like a new woman. “How do you know that?” Gwen asked as you both sat down on opposing stumps. “I listen a lot, even when I’m asleep.” You sighed, it was a reflex you picked up from Duncan. Gwen crossed out Geoff and DJ, and you picked up two sticks lighting them aglow. 
“You know what ticks me off? I was trying to help them.” Gwen grumbled.
“Live and learn sweetheart. Most people aren’t gonna listen to us because we act differently, or we’re girls.” You signed the flames flicking at your skin but the amount of times you’ve been burned you barely had any nerves anymore. “You really are a pyro aren’t you?” Gwen sighed.
You shrugged, and were about to continue before you heard a whimper come out of Duncan barely audible to the bums ear. But Duncan rarely cried in his sleep, only when he was on the stupid nicotine patches. Gwen noticed how worried you looked about Duncan and she sighed, she missed Trent.
You stared for one more minute before realizing he wasn’t going to make a peep again. You shaked off your jitters before you sighed.
“So? I like burning things. It’s fun.” You smiled watching as the sticks slowly got smaller. “Is that why you went to juvie?” Gwen sounded too interested now. Your eyes found hers and you smiled cockily, summoning the girl you made for yourself in juvie. 
“Now, why on earth would I tell you that?” You raised an eyebrow, you stuck one of the flaming sticks against the paper on accident, causing Gwen to quickly run off. “Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, Juvie, Juvie, Juvie.” You heard the supposed killer whisper, and your eyes flicked over to Duncan as his eyes flickered in his sleep, almost awakening to the whispering. 
“Alright, killer. You and me.” You quickly walked off trying not to wake Duncan. But the second you walked off Duncan was whisked away by Chef, and put in a cot in his cabin.  
“Okay, have you ever woken up a person having a nightmare? Imagine that but with an ex-con who I know for a fact has knives on his body. I mean in a different setting I’d love for his knife to be on my throat. Just not on live television.” You laughed staring at the outhouse camera.
You met the killer on the dock, and smiled, flicking the lighter in your hands on and off. “Hey, goalie boy. Ever got beat by an exhausted girl?” Surprisingly you launched yourself at him even though the chainsaw was going. 
You scaled up Chef and used all your body weight to throw him backwards, causing him to land on his back and you straddling him as you took the hook, and chainsaw out of his hands. You took the mask off of Chef and smiled.
“Hey, Chef.” You helped him up as he saved you a side-hug and ruffled your hair. “Just so you know, I got Gwen and Duncan is in the cabin asleep, kid.” Chef let you escort him back to the tent.
Which was full of all your friends, unsurprisingly. 
“Hi, Y/N! We need to fight some time!” Izzy was so excited to see you. Everyone congratulated you. But something on the camera caught your eye.
Duncan was asleep but a masked killer stood over him like a looming shadow. “Who the hell is that in the cabin with my boyfriend?” You almost screeched. Scratch that, screeched. 
Everyone bolted out of the tent. 
Duncan’s dream
He came home from work, (where did he work?), and stepped into a house that wasn’t his own. He walked in, holding a briefcase and saw a woman that looked suspiciously like you sitting in a chair rocking a baby back and forth. 
“Hey, sweetheart.” The woman whispered since the baby was fast asleep. “Hello, mi vida.” Duncan smiled, kissing your cheek. (Oh my god was that you?) 
He was forced awake when he saw a chainsaw man standing over him. His first reaction was to, you know, stab his eyes out, and beat him to death, but then you all quickly ran in.
“DUNCAN.” They all yelled at him. But he was focusing on you, the absolute fear in your eyes and on instinct he reacted. 
He launched himself at the chainsaw man and kicked the hook straight off and pinched a nerve which made the man drop the chainsaw, he then grabbed the man’s short hair and pulled back as far as he could exposing his neck which was the signal for neck kick.
Duncan couldn’t see it, but he felt the impact as your carefully aimed kick was sent straight at the killer's throat, who very quickly started high pitched before he stomped off.
“Well that was fun, same time next week?” Duncan said, trying to mask the outright fear he felt now. But you smiled, rolled your eyes and gave him a kiss, which calmed him like a drug.
Gwen came over and gave you a high five. “I might steal your girl, Duncan.” Gwen smiled, staring at you with mock dream eyes (hopefully), Duncan laughed “You wish.”
That night Duncan and you got partial immunity which meant that in the situation one of you was voted off your votes would be cut in half.
Which honestly didn’t really matter that night because literally everyone voted for DJ, so it was a waste of winning a challenge. Anyways on that happy note, see you next episode.
Bonus: Your favorite memory of your mom
Ages: 4
“Mami.”
“Mami.”
“Mami.”
The tired woman looked up from her newest dish, but once she saw it was you she smiled happily.
“Yes, bunny, how may I assist you?” She helped you to sit on top of the counter. “How do I make brownies for Duncan? I have no money to buy a huge present.” You said the last part sadly.
She laughed and was curious “What would his big present be, sweetheart?” You smiled not truly understanding how deep your next words would be. “A new daddy. One that makes Duncan happy.” You clapped and your mom sighed sadly.
“Mm, you got a good heart my love. Yes, I will help you make brownies for Duncan’s birthday.” She smiled at you, you despised cooking but wanted to make your best friend happy. 
So that’s what you did that afternoon, you cooked, well mostly she cooked, you whined how boring it was, but your mom turned on music and told you to get your wiggles out on the counter that held no ingredients.
You danced as your mama cooked and she smiled slowly beginning to dance with you. After the brownies finished cooking, your mom let you have a taste test and you smiled wide.
“Thank you, mami! You're the best and I love you so very much.” You wrapped your arms around her neck kissing her cheek.
“Of course, bunny. Anything for you.” She smiled, attacking your face with kisses causing you to giggle. She sighed relishing in the sounds of her beautiful daughter so full of energy and joy.
The results had gotten in yesterday about the disease, she knew how long she had left but you didn’t know. 
She’d miss her daughter growing up.
24 notes · View notes
fandomwe1rd0 · 3 days
Text
I would rank it as S tier! This episode is depressing as helllllll but, it's a really fun watch, well for the first half, but then it gets REALLY depressing because of yep, Mr. Jellybean. I do like the way it was handled though, it could've been GROSSLY mishandled, but the way they showed it was completely serious, and we saw the effect it had on Morty afterward, and even Rick, Rick fucking Sanchez, the biggest piece of shit on the show, someone who's probably killed thousands of people, was disgusted at what Mr. Jellybean did, as he should! Mr. Jellybean is a sick fuck, and I hope he rots in hell like he deserves <3 Rick is also a gem in this episode, he is so protective and sweet, and the part where he kills Mr. Jellybean is DEFINITELY a highlight, I swear it always makes me burst out laughing, one of the most satisfying deaths in the show for sure! And Morty deserves all the love and protection in the world after this episode, I swear I never wanted to protect an animated character so badly, and massive respects to Morty for fighting Mr. Jellybean off, that takes a lot of courage and strength, so respects to Morty for that! Anyways, onto the side plot, I wasn't too crazy about it, but it was enjoyable nonetheless and Mr. Meeseeks was a delight, and there was more than a few funny moments, not all of the jokes landed, but a lot of them did, while it's a really REALLY great episode, I wouldn't exactly recommend it to someone, especially if you have trauma from s//a or anything similar, but if you don't then you should check it out, just keep in mind that it does contain a triggering scene.
9 notes · View notes
brainrotlesbian · 6 months
Text
Rare whump moments in cartoons
A lot of the media I like is animated, and as such, there’s not many whumpy moments in such cartoons or movies, but there are some good moments in them, so here is a non-comprehensive list of pretty good whumpy moments in my good Christian (/j) child cartoons:
True Colors (season 2 episode 20 of Amphibia). Not really until the last five minutes of the episode, but it’s well worth it. Sasha and Anne find out Marcy’s lied to and manipulated them, and also that King Andrias has done the same (not really whump but it adds to it I swear), Sprig is thrown out of a window. From a flying castle that’s nearly a mile above ground. Marcy is stabbed through the abdomen with a flaming sword and with her last conscious moments she apologizes then collapses to the ground presumed dead.
A Bug’s Life (idk the last 30 minutes?) Yeah, you read that right. A Bug’s Life. When Flik is beaten by Hopper. Good shit, good shit. The bruises, the groaning in pain, the attempting to push himself onto his feet only for his strength to fail and he falls down into the ground? Beautiful
Save The Cat (season 5 episode idk 2 or 3 of She-ra 2018). Yeah I know I said I don’t really like lady whump but like this is lesbian angst so it’s fine with me. I’m also a huge sucker for brainwashing/mind control especially when paired with said brainwashed person forced to fight a loved one
Yunan and Olivia (season 3 episode 7 of Amphibia). Holy mother of god I was not expecting that level of whump from the silly frog show. The screaming from Marcy as she’s digitally possessed by the core? Horrifying. Haunts my dreams. Oh and also there’s illusions of the three characters’ biggest traumas/fears/regrets and it’s great. If y’all thought True Colors was bad, you were right, but Yunan and Olivia is worse
The Mortis Arc of the Clone Wars (season 3) Yeah it’s kinda cheating to put an entire arc but like c’mon. 1. Lore about the nature of the force and the prophecy and the chosen one and 2. We had two different fights between the trio with one who was possessed (sorta) (Ahsoka vs Anakin and Obi Wan, then Anakin vs Obi Wan). Does this really count as whump? Ehhhh kinda sorta it’s more angst but whatever
I forgot the name of this episode but it’s some time in DuckTales 2017 season 2. Oh yeah. Fucking DuckTales. Donald gets captured by the moon people (it’s kinda funny they have this unique muzzle/gag thing they slap over his bill and he literally does not say an intelligible word until it’s blown off from an anger outburst). After discovering General Lunaris’s plan to invade earth and kill the triplets, he launches back to earth… only to end up on a deserted island for months without contact with the outside world. He kinda goes a little nuts once the family finds him
ROTTMNT movie. That’s it. The whole damn movie. Leo has the living shit beaten out of him. Raph is possessed. Everyone almost dies
The Bad Batch arc of the Clone Wars season 7. Again, cheating, I know, but holy hell, the arc around rescuing Echo and they find him half-dead, emaciated, white as a sheet, and connected neurologically to the computer system so the Separatists can search his memories for republic strategies? That’s good shit. It leaves a lot up to the imagination as to what, exactly, Echo went through.
Season 2 episode I forgot of Gravity Falls: when Dipper gets possessed by Bill. Not the whumpiest but still ok, especially at the end when he’s like “ohhh everything hurts” cause Bill wore his body out
15 notes · View notes
cienie-isengardu · 10 months
Text
My RepCom Musing: if there were (clone) strills everything would be much better
For me, the biggest missed opportunity & disappointment of the Republic Commando story is that NO ONE APPARENTLY CAME UP WITH IDEA TO CLONE MIRD. And I swear, everyone would be better off with strill puppies (kittens?) around. Like seriously. Vau? Mird is what kept Vau alive and happy for decades and is literally what makes Vau soft and caring. Now multiply Mird and Vau won’t magically change from hardened veteran & harsh training sergeant into overprotective, overemotional dad, sure, but it would definitely make it easier for him to show his care and deeply hidden emotions once each squad of his batch gets a cute lil clone!Mird to take care of (and be taken care of in return). Can you imagine all the cadets’ excitement and wonder for their own strill, for the unconditional love and loyalty of an highly intelligent and smart animal and for the Vau’s trust given alongside it? All the things boy!Vau must feel at some point too, when he was stuck with an abusive family or shortly after leaving them and be on his own in an unknown, uncaring galaxy? Can you imagine him swarmed by the puppies and clones with a thousand and one question on how to deal with strill so he could unleash all his love for Mird on everyone around?
Or Atin, after losing his first batch mates? Or even after Geonosis? No point for violence when you can drop an emotional support animal on a hurt, depressed human being. Deltas too could benefit from lil Mird. What could be better than a strill for emotionally stunted people with even more an emotionally shut down trainer? Beside the whole long-term therapy, I mean.  
Jango too should get a strill, the man is like one, walking trauma and Boba would be better to hang out with a loyal pet than Aurra Sing or other assholes.
Where is a cute lil clone!Mird for each squad of Vau’s batch, I demand to know?! A loyal strill  to make everything better? WHY NONE OF YOU in-universe SMARTASS THOUGHT TO GIVE MIRD A BUNCH OF SMALL PUPPIES (KITTENS) TO MAKE KAMINO A BIT BETTER PLACE FOR THE STRILL, VAU AND CLONE CADETS? Everyone would be mentally healthier!
Well maybe beside Kal who could have a heart attack once Jaing brought the strill puppy or two or a whole pack and Skirata was forced to explain how that happened to overprotective Vau & Mird XDDD 
UNLESS Vau wanted to do so but Kaminoans, remembering that this animal hunts them down out of boredom decided FUCK NO. Then I will accept the canon as it is, but only then…
(I do remember Vau sicing Mird on Ordo in book canon but I will admit I do not have a clue what was the point of this action besides making us, readers, to dislike Walon on the spot. I mean, killing people and physically trashing cadets? Sure, it makes sense within his characterization. But using Mird like that without any logical reason and just for fun? Nah, I will pass. Like Ordo lacked trauma and reasons to dislike strill and Vau when Kal had plenty of his own complaints about Walon to pass to his kids.)
18 notes · View notes
epickiya722 · 1 year
Text
REACTIONS TO EPISODE 21 - THE LOVELY LADY NAGANT
Oh, you know the usual by now!
LAST EPISODE'S REACTIONS
Oh, here we go! My favorite green boy facing this pink and blue haired lady!
The assassin going "All... All Might?" Yeah, same.
I love how All Might is still a badass even after he becomes quirkless. Like I don't know if they'll show it, but spoiler alert, he shows up back later after the assassins without injuries. Like... what happened?!
Okay, that man talking mad heavy for someone who is about to get his shit rocked. LOOK AT THAT STANCE!!!
Tumblr media
OKAY, ALL MIGHT!!! ON HIS PROTECTIVE DAD SCHEDULE!!! OKAY!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!
Can't believe she is walking on sunshine... in the rain.
AFO is like one of the biggest cheaters in anime, I swear.
Air Walk is just Float and Anti-Gravity, let's be honest. AFO, dude, so unoriginal! 😆
Love those little icons. Especially, Izuku's.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
En's "hey, hey, kid". That is cute!
The little bounces!!! OMG, even when he's badass, he is still too adorable! Izuku, you are such a rabbit for real!
Hey, Third!! 😊
Okay, that's right, the bouncing was necessary! About to use the 3rd's quirk! Fa Jin, if I remember correctly!
I was correct!
Look how she is standing...
"Only if I was hiding in it!" Deku coming in with the boasting?! Yessss!!!
JUST TELL HIM WHERE AFO IS!! HE SAID PLEASE!
Did she just gut check my guy?!
Third looks so mad here...
Tumblr media
Aaaaw, the kids wanted a handshake from her!! SO ADORABLE!!! 😭😭😭
Then of course, trauma...
"Everything is fake." Hey, I'm real, thank you very much! Air is real!
She was asking good questions though! Some parts of society is sketchy and the Commission is no different. When you think about it, the heroes are their puppets and victims. I mean, Hawks is an example!
She sure did kill the President of the Commission! He kinda had it coming...
"I bet you didn't know..." whatever you're about to say and what you said before is something Izuku wouldn't know. He is 16, lady. 16. He barely has had a life and all he knows is heroes.
In fact, I don't get that! When the villain talks to their KID opponent like they know everything about the bad side and whatnot. Sometimes, angry at the KID as if they had any hand, you know. Like the KID wasn't raised to believe such facades, like they're victims in this situation, too.
"What's good in restoring this illusion?" You're right, but... consider changes are coming and that working with AFO who is the WORST CHOICE FOR SOCIETY is STUPID.
Ma'am President was kinda pretty, I won't lie.
Tumblr media
Aaaww, look at that smile!
Tumblr media
So you rather have a society controlled by a madman who will run everything by fear all because, get this, his motivation to be the "Demon Lord" came from COMIC BOOKS HE READ AS A CHILD WITH HIS LITTLE BROTHER.
ALSO HE IS A MANIPULATOR!! WOW!!! Seems he got you, Nagant!!
"The entire world is gray." THANK YOU!!! Everyone is like this is black and this is white and here is Izuku like done with people. I don't blame him.
Education has nothing to do with that moral, honey. Izuku has always been like that and he has experience.
Ew...
Oh, her card!
Tumblr media
I almost forgot about Chisaki.
"Let me see my boss again." Aaaah, feeling that guilt, ain't you? Put the man in a coma and then experimented on his little, defenseless granddaughter so you can create bullets to take away people's quirks. Shame, shame, shame.
OKAY, IZUKU!!!! YEEEESSSS!!
"We'll talk later, Chisaki." That means nothing good maybe.
Not only did he use the quirks in an effective way, but at the same time caught on to Lady Nagant's act. He really be analyzing everything and it's unreal just how much he is a threat.
AFO really just made this lady blow up... oooh, you are gonna get what's coming to you!!
Pitiful and pathetic?! PITIFUL AND PATHETIC?! SAYS YOU, AFO!
"A successor? In the Commission?" I know, crazy ain't it?
Yes, he probably has some unspeakable things. They picked him up when he was way younger than you! 😃
She's not gonna die...
That's the face of someone who has carried so much weight, he is done with folks, he is hungry, he is tired, he got shot multiple times, he dirty... he's not even vibrant green anymore!
Tumblr media
Chisaki, don't interrupt him.
He's right, if there is someone you should be apologizing to it's Eri! That sweet precious child! You took his grandpa away and experimented on her!
Oooohh... that feral look in his eyes... this isn't good...
Tumblr media
The preview didn't even end on a "PLUS ULTRA"!! "I'll be fine." NO YOU WILL NOT BE!! I AM WORRIED FOR YOU!! 😭💔
Always am... but still!!
24 notes · View notes
universesrising · 2 years
Text
listing all my ninjago aus [again]
because i have more since last i did this and should update anyway
feel free to ask about any of these i live for rambling about things [and might also draw something if requested]
[i am sorry there are so many words this was meant to be a summary]
-
the big sip [bigger sip, biggest sip] - ok so basically, the premise of big sip is that the gang loses control of their powers and have to get snatched by wu before multiple bad things happen, the plot changes slightly depending on your flavor of sip. bigger sip has them already reach the uh oh point by the time wu gets them, and [SEABOUND SPOILERS] merge with their elements like nya did that one time in canon. they turn back once wu gets them. biggest sip has them NOT turn back once wu snatches them, and multiple concerns arise from this. big sip is the only au that has fanfiction of it [i’m gonna write the next chapter of the sipquel..... someday]
forever superstar rockin - one of two simple canon divergence aus, this one is exactly as the name implies. during prime empire, jay never switches out of his superstar rockin avatar, and once he leaves the game he simply. stays that way. he does not change back and is stuck like that now. and this is literally the entire au, just him looking like That for the rest of the series. at least the clothes aren’t stuck?? [this also has an alternate setting, where kai too gets stuck in his avatar design. fools, the both of them]
frozen [no not that one] - the second canon divergence au, this one set in season 11 of course. okay so you know that scene where boreal just hecking deletes the entire village? this divergence is basically just. what if kai did not escape unharmed. what if he got hit and just, froze over like everyone else when the rest of the gang got back. that would be terrible. the angst potential. do not be fooled by my lack of coherency explaining this one, i have Many Thoughts about it, i simply cannot speak
no more trauma - bear with me on this one lads, it’s a wild ride. this au started as a complete joke and, it still is, but it’s also still an au. a joke au, if you will. basically the premise is, what if my friend and i’s sonas, yasa and star, who are multiversal explorers of a sort, just. went to ninjago. and stopped every terrible thing from happening right when it’s about to happen. they immediately leave right after, so they get the effect of weird yet helpful cryptids. this is a very strange au, i am fully aware. yet it is so funny
lighthouse - this is a big one, has ties to another au but only in terms of character design. i spoke in length about the plot a bit ago, but basically the whole gang is varying degrees of animal person, [MORE SEABOUND SPOILERS] by the time it starts, nya is already the entire ocean, and jay lives at the lighthouse now. the plot’s just like. jay gets kidnapped by pirates [guess who], the gang saves him, shenanigans occur in which jay is forced to become a ninja again, he HATES it for various reasons, and everything spirals until the end, where jay simply retires. he literally retires back to the lighthouse. there is a reason this is called lighthouse au. there is so much going on here
band [also vigilantes] - this is also a bit weird but honestly all my aus are like that. band au is not what you think from the cover. the gang IS the instruments. for example, lloyd is a microphone. there’s more to it than that i swear, they turn into regular people at night, where they then do vigilante stuff under wu’s guidance. also they still have powers. lloyd’s doubles as a booster for the others because. microphone. hah. also featuring various other characters as the actual band, like pixal. i would like to send you the image of edna playing an electric guitar, because that is canon information. i do not know who nya’s player is please help me. she is a piano
crreature [spelled exactly like that] - this is the one that ties into lighthouse design-wise, because crreature au started by me going “what if lighthouse designs.... but more?” anyway i have also yelled incomprehensibly about this one and will continue to do so for THIS is the au i obsess over. what is the plot. the plot is everyone [except lloyd this time] is humanoid animals of some sort, called creatures in lore, and they live in a reserve owned by wu and there are so many shenanigans. a pool party. jay and nya have a ‘wedding’. zane is constantly interviewed cause he’s literally the only one who can talk. lloyd manages what is essentially a youtube channel,
gaming - this, surprisingly, is the self indulgent au, and not crreature. this is the other one i’ve talked about, especially jay’s role in it. i love gaming au. it’s zane and jay centric since they’re my friend and i’s favorite characters and this, as stated, is the self indulgent au. basically in gaming au, jay’s the companion npc / final boss of a vr rhythm game, and zane is Just A Guy who works for videogame-flavored borg industries. shenanigans with a prototype vr portal allows jay to literally just. walk out of his game into the real world. and zane essentially gets put on babysitting duty. the entire au is just Shenanigans as jay terrorizes the city and zane tries desperately to keep his sanity. this is such a good au. lloyd is here and he works at subway
elemental - “i am the most powerful subway employee to ever exist” - lloyd... that is the summary of this au. in which lloyd is exactly that, just some guy who works at subway. everyone else, however, are manifestations of their elements [and also the elements themselves... it is Complicated]. there’s too much plot to explain here [feel free to ask me to explain it though!], but basically lloyd has to go on a journey to reunite the elements of creation [+ water] in order to prevent some big disaster event from happening. along the way he discovers that oh, turns out he’s the descendant of the guy who made the world and that is why he’s the one who is doing this. cool.
lost lightning - this one is. weird. i introduced it here, but basically lost lightning starts off as a “ninjago without jay” situation up until the tournament of elements, where chen, not having lightning, opens a portal to the first realm to find a dragon to steal. the others follow him and find jay, who in the au is a funky cryptid not-quite-dragon man called a scavenger. after many shenanigans, jay ends up following them back to ninjago, not quite becoming a ninja but still mostly joining the gang, and the series goes along from there with MUCH rewriting to fit the whole... y’know... cryptid man... it’s a weird au, idk what to tell you
oops i did it again [here be dragons] - okay, so legally, this is called “oops i did it again”, but OFFICIALLY, it’s “here be dragons”. this is to lost lightning what crreature is to lighthouse, meaning i took one look at a design and went “what if... it was MORE?” ...here be dragons is, as you can guess, an au where the gang [minus lloyd, as it goes], are dragons. in the au, dragons are very, very extinct. or so they were SUPPOSED to be. zane, in the au, was built to preserve their legacy, but went missing, and upon his discovery ALSO happened to bring the discovery of four more dragons, which are kai, nya, jay, and cole. they’re the last known dragons in the whole world, at least, to anyone’s knowledge. so lloyd has a pretty important job of keeping them safe and protected, not that they. make it easy. they are very feral. help him
-
AND THAT IS ALL [of my aus]. i won’t list my friend’s aus this time [chicken au is great though and i am bullying them for content] cause this is so long already but i hope you enjoyed reading?? my aus are weird i am aware of this
as said up top though, if you want to know more about a specific one [or want me to draw something for them], feel free to ask! i love answering questions and we need more walls of text in this world [joking]
[edit as of the addition of elemental, lost lightning, and here be dragons: fun fact! here be dragons is called ‘oops i did it again’ because... it is another crreature au. i did it again. i made another one. i cannot be trusted, someone stop me]
15 notes · View notes
sorin-sunchild · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Ok so let's ignore that I can't draw and it looks terrible and everything, ok~?
I loved Wendell & Wild and came up with my own OC and concept-thing? Details below -
Character Info:
Name: Hiroki Chen
Age: 14
Gender: Male (Trans)
Race: Biracial (Japanese/Thai)
Role: Heaven Squire
Unique Gift: Photokinesis
Guardian Angel: Jirael
Backstory: Hiroki grew up an orphan, having nothing but his name. He ran away at age 12 and lived rough, surviving on the grace of a homeless woman, Ada, who taught him how to survive. One day a glowing rat gave him a mysterious mark on his hand, one shaped like an eye. It told him that if he listened and used his power as a Heaven Squire to summon a Guardian Angel and served it well, he could gain many benefits. The biggest one being any one wish granted, and secondary that he would never feel hungry, thirsty or cold again as his Angel would take care of him.
Thinking of the women who had mentored him so well, he summoned Jirael and wished for her to come into great fortune. The two live together, although Jirael often leaves for weeks at a time in order to fulfil his Heaven Squire duties. Since Ada has always been devout, she fully supports this.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hell Maidens are not the only people gifted by creatures from the lands of the dead. There are also Heaven Squires, young boys whose innate gifts tie them to the Above.
A Messenger, often in the shape of a small animal or toy, will find and mark a Heaven Squire whilst also explaining to him the benefits that will be granted from becoming a fully fledged Heaven Squire and summoning their own Guardian Angel. These benefits, of course, will be revoked if the Heaven Squire disobeys or otherwise starves his angel.
The Messenger will not try to force or coerce a Heaven Squire into summoning an angel because it is usually not needed. They often choose young boys who not only have the right gift but whom are particularly devout OR in such dire need of angelic help they can't/won't refuse, this almost guarantees success.
Cases of dire need include: those who have recently had an injury which may soon end their life, those who have or have a family member with a serious illness, homeless or otherwise destitute children, those who are/feel indebted to another but cannot aid them any other way, the abused, those who have recently suffered a trauma etc
A Guardian Angel can grant one Big Wish to the Heaven Squire in return for his dedication and devotion to that angel. This includes everything except raising the dead and impacting anyone else's free will (no making someone fall in love etc). The Heaven Squire is made to swear devotion before the wish is granted, to guarantee servitude.
An Angel in the land of a living is in the unique position to gain power and ranks within the angelic hierarchy by Feeding. However, whilst still low ranking they cannot do much themselves in order to Feed and therefore need a Heaven Squire with them.
They feed mainly on two types of energy released from the Heaven Squire completing a deed that helps another: Gratitude (from the aided person/s) and Benevolence (from the Heaven Squire). So the Heaven Squire himself is also a kind of food source as well as food gatherer.
Slightly more powerful angels will help out more, especially when keeping their Heaven Squire out of trouble. At higher power levels the angel will also aim to Feed on demons and Hell Maiden power.
The eye a Heaven Squire is marked with allows him to see the inner emotions and thoughts of others as text swirling above their heads. It will also show golden threads leading him towards people who need help. The thicker the thread, the greater a Feed can be produced.
To unlock their full power, a Heaven Squire must learn to put aside fear, pain, grief and selfishness.
11 notes · View notes
ariel-gremlinzkeep · 1 year
Text
This needs updated
ToaF AU Introduction 
Okay. I suck at these kinda things so bear w/ me, lmao. 
Long Story Short:
Turts of a Feather is my canon divergence AU that is mainly based on ROTTMNT w/ bits & pieces of other iterations & OC shit tossed in. 
I suppose the easiest way to describe it is, take the Hamatos, throw them in a mixer w/ more found fam, heaps of trauma, loads of familial love, & hit max speed. Yay~
~☆~
🔗Links🔗
ToaF on Tumblr ToaF on AO3
~☆~
Long story summarized-ish:
The biggest divergence goes back to when Drax first made the Ooze & the fact his initial concoction was Empyrean free. Instead it utilized the Mystic ability of a nigh extinct class of Yōkai, a relation to the Phoenix. A rather small percentage of the female population can produce a powerful transmutation substance they call the Krókos or Yolk. Said substance can be used by the Krókos-Foréas (Yolk-Bearer) to transform any animal into a Krókos-Polemist (Yolk-Warrior). The catch being that the Yolk can only be used once in their lives.
 A young Draxum happens upon not one but three of the rare Yōkai. The quad band together to escape their current circumstances, growing close & forming a new clan. 
When Drax learns about the Mystic ability of his partners he hatches a plan of science & alchemy to make a combined Yolk that could be used for more than the three times normally allotted by their Yōkai ability. The trio agree, wanting nothing more than to be a part of a large clan all their own.
But when ambition, pride, & fear cloud the intentions of Draxum a disagreement blooms between himself & the rest of the Niwatori. The wives wanted a family, he wanted an army. Something that the three refuse to be a part of. 
Nettie, the science-then-alchemy to his alchemy-then-science is the one to find out about his true intention. Refusing to listen to his excuses as she sets about to destroy their hard work, swearing that no baby of hers would be raised as a child soldier. A massive fight erupts, resulting in Draxum accidentally blinding her in one eye, she retaliating by severing one of his fingers. 
In the end the other 2 find them, stopping Nettie from killing their former lover & leaving him amongst the broken remains of the life they had built. The Niwatori believing the Ooze to have been destroyed.
But little did either party know that each had managed to salvage a small sample. Each going on to use it in far different ways. Drax would go on to use Empyrean based on his portion, increasing his batch & making careful plans on how best to use the precious material. The Niwatori wives stealing an egg & using the small vial to have a child of their own.
One year after changing the formula to a concoction of his own DNA & Empyrian Drax finally finds the last piece to his puzzle in the form of Lou Jitsu. Battle Nexus Champion. But Drax's lofty plans go awry. Culminating in Lou Jitsu fleeing the imploding lab with the four young turtles who bore his genetics, that of the warring warrior scientist, & those of 3 very jaded, unaware Zoí-Pouliá.
From there Lou goes through several hardships & trials, suffering from not only his mutation but the void of losing his former life yet again. Thankfully along the way he collects a band of kindred spirits, a pair of fellow Nexus veterans & an Undead who knew all about having to toss aside former lives to be free. With his trio of newly claimed siblings the Hamato clan grew, the lot of them striving to give the children the peaceful & safe life that they had wished for in their youth.
But life has a way of always shafting the Hamatos. Hardships & chaos kept needling its way to the family, building their strength but also adding to their traumas. The clan keeps moving forward, always fighting alongside their own. 
 気をつけて。勇気を出してください。私たちのクランに戻ります。
Kiwotsukete. Yūkiwodashite kudasai. Watashitachi no Kuran ni modorimasu.
Take care. Be brave. Return to our clan.
It didn't matter what happened to the outside world, family above all. All that Splinter ever wanted was for his children, his entire claimed family, to get back safe & sound. But life was set on making that a lofty goal. One that may not be achievable.
3 notes · View notes
screechthemighty · 10 months
Note
I'm very interested in watching the show you've been talking about; the one with the tags Tristamp and Trigun. But I'm having trouble finding where to watch it. It's not on any of the free sites I usually use to watch movies and shows. Could you recommend a good place?
OKAY, so. I do not know a truly "free" place to watch Trigun: Stampede as such places are not really in my wheelhouse. I can tell you that it's on Crunchyroll and Hulu in both sub and dub, so if you can password share either site, you're golden. Crunchyroll ALSO still does free trials, which rules, so you could do it that way. (It's only 12 episodes/roughly 6 hours so it's totally watchable in two weeks.) The '98 anime (AKA the other, first anime adaptation) is also on both platforms.
HOWEVER. Big caveat. While I do like TriStamp a whole awful lot, I don't want you to go into it blind. You should know that the anime does contain some content that might be upsetting. I can't go into super details without spoiling things (though you've definitely already seen a lot on my blog lmao), but in terms of broad sweeping content warnings, TriStamp does contain violence (including some body horror/gore) and harm to children, and heavily deals in themes of depression and trauma (including disordered eating), religious abuse/trauma, and abuse/violation of bodily autonomy/assault (with that last one being probably the most upsetting for obvious reasons). If you need specifics (spoilers obvi)...
Abuse: No nice way to say it: Knives is abusive and his relationship with Vash is beyond toxic. There's a lot of moments of psychological manipulation when they interact, and he's EXTREMELY controlling. And then there's the last detail which is probably where I have to put the biggest CW.
Violation of Bodily Autonomy/Assault: Bodily autonomy is one of the biggest through lines of the franchise. People are regularly stripped of it by the antagonists, and Vash in particular has a plot line in episodes 11 and 12 that is uh. A lot. I hesitate to call it rape only because that word brings to mind certain acts that AREN'T what's happening here...but what IS happening here is very reminiscent of one (I can provide more details if needed but it's a lot. Also his brother is doing it so there is that).
Violence: Most of the violence is gun violence, though there is also some limb removal (especially in episodes 3, 9, and 12). The worst of the gore/body horror is in episode 11 (but there is also some in 5 and 6) , and there is an onscreen gun suicide in episode 7.
Harm to Children: Kids are not safe from being hurt in this universe. Like, at all. Besides the day to day dangers of a Mad Max style dystopia, there's a recurring plot point that kids are being experimented on by a cult to create "the perfect organism" (just a sprinkling of eugenics to go along with the child abuse). Some of the experimentation is seen onscreen. There's some UNRELATED child experimentation that we see the aftermath of in episode 11...this kid is dismembered, there's no nice way to put it. There are detail shots of organs.
Depression & Trauma: Depression and trauma are the other main through line of this franchise. Vash has been through a lot. He deprives himself of food seemingly as a punishment. This happens twice explicitly (though he never visibly loses weight). Pretty much every character has either BEEN through a lot or GOES THROUGH a lot but USUALLY both. Family loss, friend loss, poverty, and abusive relationships all around.
Religious Abuse/Trauma: There's a very plot-important cult that uses Christian imagery (mostly crosses (including as weapons) and talk of angels). They're the ones doing the child experimentation...and the "conscripting kids into their murder squad" thing. They don't think very highly of humanity, either. While the angle of specific characters having what one might call religious trauma isn't explored super deeply, I can see how it'd be upsetting for anyone who does have that. (Also I swear I'm gonna write that essay about how the Eye of Michael is a really interesting in light of how actual Christianity works, I just need to re-watch some things and dig up my study Bible first)
Also just as one final thing: there is some brief "important bits shrouded in mist/fog/camera angles but the character is definitely nude" action involving a young-looking character (maybe 12?) and some "failed" baby/child human hybrids in episode 10. The context is that said characters are in test tubes, uh, marinating, I guess, so we've still got that to deal with even if it's not sexual.
I bring this all up first because I don't want you or anyone else to go into Stampede blind and accidentally experience something that will upset you. Cool as the show is, it's not worth your mental health. I also bring it up because Stampede often serves as an entry drug to the other parts of the franchise, and the manga is R O U G H. Everything I've talked about above on crack and THEN some. So like, if anything I've described seems like it's pushing your limits, DO NOT READ THE MANGA. There's a lot to like about Trigun: Maximum, but there's also a lot that can do permanent damage. I've got a pretty strong stomach and I still basically skipped a whole chapter (and almost cried at one point that was less from trauma and more because Nightow slapped me in the face with the inevitable narrative he'd been teasing for like, nine volumes, the bastard /pos).
(I should note, some more elements of TriMax might be making their way into Stampede, and those elements might involve sexual abuse (one character is a former trafficking victim). I don't now if they'll get as graphic as the manga did (again, the manga is R O U G H), but there's a high chance the subject will come up in some way. Also, I can't give content warnings for the '98 anime as the animation style means it slides right off my smooth-ass brain and I have a hard time quantifying its severity in relation to either Trigun or the manga. They did make Vash a sex pest for zero reason, that's annoying. I'll probably re-watch it later to experience the English dub and also to get CWs for anyone who needs them.)
...anyways hope this helps lol
1 note · View note
petcr3 · 2 years
Text
Sanctuary | TASM!Peter Parker x Reader
summary: peter comes to your window after experiencing something triggering on patrol. you just want to make him feel as safe as you feel with him. 
word count: ~2.1k
warnings: peter has a panic attack, lots of rehashing the trauma of losing uncle ben, patrol-typical violence, brief mention of gun violence, discussions of guilt, loss, trauma, etc. lots of heavy emotions.
a/n: woo boy so i feel like the warnings make this sound like a huge bummer but it really is just a lot of emotional hurt/comfort bc i’m being self indulgent and my biggest desire is just to.... take care of tasm!peter lmao. any gender reader! also physical touch is the operative love language here, so be warned. pls enjoy! my first fic on this blog, jinkies! title inspired by joji’s song sanctuary.
Tumblr media
At first, the tapping at your window isn’t loud enough to rouse you from sleep. Peter watches through the mask as you stir but don’t wake up and panic seizes his throat. This is stupid, he thinks, he should just go home and let you sleep. He knows he needs you, though, and the last remnants of logic in his brain tell him that he wouldn’t make it home if he tried swinging in this state. And besides, you’d be upset if you found out later that he’d needed you and not asked for your support.
The tapping grows louder, more insistent, and on the other side of the window you startle awake in your bed, casting a nervous gaze around your room until you see Peter outside. You offer him a sleepy, gentle smile as you go to let him in, too groggy to notice the way his chest heaves with each breath.
“Hi,” you murmur, sliding the window open, “what time is it?” 
“I, uh… I don’t know, I… Can I come in?” Peter’s voice shakes and worry shocks through you, waking you up. 
“Of course you can,” you say, reaching out to help him inside. Your eyes rove over him, looking for injuries, some evidence of whatever has him so rattled. Finding nothing, you pull him towards you, hands gliding up and down his forearms. “What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”
“No, I’m––” he takes a deep, quavering breath, “I just…” His fingers grip into your forearms, tremors crawling through his body and sinking into your skin. Peter’s head is bowed and you reach up, searching for the seam of the cowl to lift the mask away from his face.
Bit by bit, he comes into view, cheeks streaked with tears, muscles in his jaw working as he tries to control his breathing. Worry pulls tight in your chest: you know that the mantle of Spider-Man weighs heavy on Peter sometimes, but this feels different. This is panic, pain, breathlessness. The kind of hurt that leaves scars you can’t see. 
“Hey,” you whisper, brow furrowed, hands lifting to his face, “hey. It’s okay. I’m here, you’re okay.” His skin is hot beneath your fingertips as your thumbs brush across his cheeks and his eyes flutter shut at the touch. Gloved hands come up to wrap around your wrists and you could swear you can feel the pain radiating out of him. 
He’s been through enough, you think, when will it ever stop?
“Come here,” you murmur, gently tugging him toward you. Peter lets you guide him for a moment but soon the dam breaks and an awful sob escapes him. He stifles another against the crook of your neck–– it’s a terrible sound; animal, broken. His hands bunch into the fabric of your shirt, and you find yourself sinking with him to the floor. 
Peter slumps against the side of your bed and you settle yourself into his lap, gathering him in your arms. He cries. Sobs wrack his body and you feel your heart break a little more with each jolt of his frame against yours. All you can think to do is run your fingers through his hair, hold him a little tighter.
“I’ve got you,” you whisper helplessly, face pressed against his hair, “I’m here. I’ve got you, angel.” There’s no real way to know if your murmured reassurances are helping, but you say them anyway, desperate to comfort the man who has made you feel so loved, so safe. You don’t know what could have shaken Peter so badly, but you want to destroy it. If you could take away all the hurt and sorrow he feels, you would do it in a heartbeat. But for now, all you can do is hold him as he weeps, wishing for all the world that you could make everything okay for him the same way he does for you, for the city. For people who don’t know him and don’t give a damn about all that he sacrifices.
You can’t say how long you spend there in the dark, Peter cocooned in your arms, his tears seeping into the sleeve of your t-shirt, but after a while, his breathing slows and he lifts his head, eyes impossibly big when he looks up at you. 
“I love you,” he says, heart-rendingly earnest. You can’t help the fresh tears that spring to your eyes. You wipe them hastily away, not wanting him to feel like he has to take care of you.
“I love you too, Pete,” you say, “So much. So, so much.” He replies with a tired smile, fingers pressing gently into your sides. 
“Let’s get you out of this thing. C’mere.” You climb somewhat reluctantly out of his lap and hold your hands out to him to help him up. Peter starts to twist his arms behind him but you stop him with a gentle hand on his bicep. “Wait, let me. Let me take care of you.” He doesn’t say anything, but his arms drop to his sides and he lets you peel away the suit. You pad over to your dresser and open his drawer. His sleep shirts are all soft and worn but you pick out a favorite and tug it over his head, his hair bouncing as it frees itself from the crew neck. Peter smiles at you, something weary and warm before he pulls you into his arms. 
“Thank you,” he murmurs, “really.”
“Of course,” you say, giving him a little squeeze. “I’m always gonna be here. Always.” You feel him nod, the soft brush of his hair against your neck. “You want pajama pants?” He chuckles, the sound a low, beautiful rumble in his chest.
“Yeah. That’d be nice.” You don’t want to let go of him, but eventually you pull away and grab a pair of flannel pajama pants. It doesn’t feel quite right to yank his underwear off him– not now, anyway– so you toss him the pants and climb back onto your bed, settling against the wall. Once he’s changed, Peter finally sits down heavily beside you. He touches his palm to your cheek and kisses you tenderly, chastely. The two of you linger there for a moment, foreheads close, breathing each other in. Peter’s hands find one of yours and you use the other one to brush through his hair.
“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” you ask, and Peter nods, the ghost of a bitter smile on his lips. It’s quiet for a few moments.
“There was this guy…” he starts, “I mean, I swear it was just like how Uncle Ben died. Like the universe was trying to tell me something, you know?” Your heart sinks. No wonder he’d been so rattled when he’d gotten to you. You can see the way he still blames himself. That quiet, gentle remorse that you know still needles his heart, no matter how many times the wounds scar over. But you don’t say anything, only nod as he speaks. 
“I mean, it felt…” he shakes his head, and you can see him looking through you, seeing it all unfold. “It was like it was happening all over again.” His voice breaks a little, but he breathes through it. “The same exact thing; some guy was holding up a little bodega and then this man– he had a little kid with him, probably his son, I don’t… But he tried to step in and I didn’t get there in time to stop him from… And he got shot.” Peter lets out a little incredulous laugh, devoid of humor. “The guy shot him and I webbed him up, the robber, but the man… he’s on the ground, bleeding, and this little boy is crying over him and I just felt like… That was me. You know? That was me all over again. Except this time I had a second chance and I… I didn’t stop it.” He shuts his mouth, lips quivering as his eyes brim over with tears, and you take his hands, still silent, thumbs skimming across his knuckles. He doesn’t look at you. 
“And the worst part is, I called an ambulance and they said he was gonna be okay. So he’s… he’s gonna get to be there for that kid and I just…” Peter swallows thickly, nose wrinkling with a kind of disgust that he only ever turns on himself. You would do anything to stop him from doing that. When he speaks again, he looks up at you, desperate to be rid of the weight of his guilt, unwilling to let go of it. 
“I felt so angry,” he confesses. “I was so angry that there was no one to do that for Uncle Ben. That no one did it for me. And that feeling really scared me. You know, I remember being angry when he died. But… when I felt myself resenting that kid, I…” He stops. Breathes. It rattles out of him and you can see the panic begin to set in again, his feelings crowding in on him as he starts to shrink back into himself, shoulders hunching forward. 
“Hey,” you coo, “hey hey. Don’t do that to yourself.” Peter puts his head in his hands but you guide them away from his face and tilt his chin up so he’s looking at you, your hands settling on his shoulders. “You have every right to be angry. You have every right to feel resentful of the people that you save when nobody has ever saved you. Because I know you, Pete, and you would never take away any of what you give to those people. You would never take that boy’s father away from him. Not even if it meant getting Uncle Ben back.” Peter looks away from you again.
“But what if I would?” he asks, voice small, desperate as he meets your eyes once more. “What if I would do that?”
“It wouldn’t change anything,” you say, your own voice thick with emotion, “I would keep loving you just as much as I do now.” His gaze flickers nervously away from yours, but you don’t take your eyes off him as you take his face in your hands. “Peter, you were a kid. You were only 17 and you’d already lost your father and then you held your uncle in your arms as he died. And instead of taking out that pain on the rest of the world you chose to dedicate yourself to making sure no one else would have to go through what you had to.”
“But people still do,” he murmurs, and you could cry.
“I know they do, baby. But you are one person. And you can’t save everyone. Nobody can. All any of us can do is our best, and you do that and then some. Please just forgive yourself for the bad feelings. Okay? Show yourself just an ounce of the kindness you show to everyone else.” It’s quiet for a moment as Peter takes in your words, eyes still a little far away. His stubble scratches gently against your palms as he nods.
“Okay,” he says, voice barely above a whisper, rough with emotion. 
“Okay,” you reply. It’s a small step, really, but you know asking Peter to be good to himself is asking a lot. All kinds of emotions begin to fly at you; relief, sadness, fondness and affection so intense it could knock the wind out of you. But mostly, you’re proud of him. 
A few errant tears slip down his cheeks and you lean in to kiss them away.
“I love you,” he breathes, lips ghosting against your skin.
“I love you too, Peter.” And it’s his turn, now, to guide you towards his lips. He kisses you once, softly, then again and again. He rests his forehead against yours and you trail a hand along the outside of his thigh, reaching up to kiss his temple. “Let’s get some sleep,” you murmur. He hums in agreement and lays down, clearly spent from all of the overwhelming emotions he’s had to deal with tonight. You lay down facing him, and Peter knows he doesn’t need to ask. He curls up against you, face nestled between your neck and your chest, legs tangling with yours as you wind your arms around him, fingers combing soothingly through his hair. He’s quiet for a while, and you’re beginning to wonder if he hasn’t drifted off to sleep.
“You were wrong before,” he mumbles into your chest, then. “About nobody ever saving me.” You lean away to look at him as he tilts his gaze up to you. “You save me,” he says, “you save me every damn day.” 
The words take your breath away and all you can do is bury your face in his hair, whispering how much you love him until you both drift off into a peaceful sleep, tangled together, protecting one another's hearts against anything that might come your way.
906 notes · View notes
planetflos · 2 years
Text
✿ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒! | 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗏𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗇 ̥*ೃ♡𓏲
synopsis ⇨ in which i describe what it would be like dating jules vaughn using these cute lil’ headcanons!
pairings ⇨ jules vaughn x fem!eader.
warnings ⇨ sickly sweet, borderline tooth rottening fluff, some swearing, mentions of trauma from past relationships, mentions of nate jacobs—i think that’s about it?
authors notes ⇨ euphoria > anything else on tv! i’m not seeing too much of anything pertaining to jules on here so i decided to put this together at 3 am on a wednesday. the way she has my heart is not okay, i simp hard for her. i had a whole lotta fun writing this and i hope you guys have just as much fun reading ♡.
Tumblr media
jules jules jules! my gem, my favorite girl. personally, i feel like dating her would be sticky sweet and super heart warming. she gives off major manic pixie dream girl energy which i loveee!
speaking of love, that’s her goal—that’s her mission. to make you feel loved. her heart is very big and she wears it on her sleeve! i feel like she would leave these cute little sticky notes on your locker down with the sweetest little messages written on them—‘i love you a lot, have an amazing day babe! ☻︎’ ugh. the cutest, i swear.
late night bike rides around the town.
her pulling you in for surprise kisses, wherever whenever.
you two would definitely skip school to go to the beach, skating rink, mall, & etc—sometimes you would have picnics on the beach as well. kat or maddy would join occasionally.
she’s a clingy baby, but never smothering. the fear of you leaving her someone else does cross her mind often, but you always make sure to remind her that there’s no one else and she’s the one for you without a doubt.
thrift store dates…hear me out. jules seems like the kind of gal to love thrifting old clothes, most of her wardrobe is probably thrifted. you two would always come across the cutest finds, causing the other girls in the store to give you dirty looks out of jealousy.
making playlists for each other (spotify > apple music).
going to parties with her and the girls—you guys would dance and drink for a bit until you wander off, checking out the scenery with everyone else. she would get a little nervous but she would remind herself that you wouldn’t do anything stupid or to put yourself in danger—hopefully.
speaking of parties, expect to have a few awkward encounters with either rue or nate. rue would give you two an awkward smile and wave before disappearing into the crowd. after hearing about how jules’s relationship with rue went downhill quickly, you definitely have some thoughts about her. and nate—he would just be staring, trying his best to make you both uncomfy. it doesn’t work, though, because nobody is scared of him. especially not after fezco beat his ass something terrible.
going to museums just to take aesthetic pictures for your instagram theme. 
you two being each other’s biggest supporters no matter what.
her admiring your beauty when you’re talking—doing anything honestly. she always tells you that you’re the most beautiful person in the world.
having sleepovers on the weekend! binge watching puella magi madoka magica, her fave anime ever. you absolutely adore the way her face lights up whenever the show is mentioned, and how hard she smiles while talking when she gives you recaps of all the episodes you missed. this girl really loves you omfg.
jules showing you her sketchbook creations, bonding over markers and pencils, and how crayola is better than krazy art, because krazy art simply sucks.
listening to her rant after a terrible, no good, very bad day.
trying out cute makeup trends on tiktok and pintrest. she slays them. every. single time.
cute lil’ study date sessions—finger foods, music playing in the background, books and pencils scattered everywhere, giving each other total heart eyes. ugh, yes.
most importantly, you guys are not just girlfriends, you’re best friends. jules puts a lot of her in you and you put a lot of your trust in her. <3
466 notes · View notes
a-n-conrad · 3 years
Text
Showers (Karl Heisenberg x Reader)
[Summary: You love Karl Heisenberg completely. And because of that, you are more than willing to put up with his quirks and flaws. However, you make sure to try everything in your bag of tricks to help him take care of himself a bit better and deal with his trauma. That means you have to come up with a plan to help distract him while he showers so that perhaps he can enjoy it a bit more. (They/Them pronouns)
Warnings: SMUT (18+), shower sex, oral sex (male receiving), swearing, depressed/traumatized Heisenberg, gender-neutral reader
Request: From my request survey (https://forms.gle/D9rsJtkERoBPaKvv8)]
Karl Heisenberg wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be in love with. You both knew it. He got angry easily. He would lock himself in his workshop for hours at a time. He was overly protective often, and wouldn’t let you wander without him there to protect you. He forgot to pick up supplies much more frequently than you’d like. And he was terrible at taking care of himself. He didn’t make it easy for you to care for him, but that never stopped you.
Part of it was that you were truly, unbelievably in love with him. There was no way that was changing over some minor annoyances. But part of it was that you were fucking stubborn. Karl had a habit of pushing people away. You didn’t know if he even knew it, but he seemed to try and push away anyone that got too close. You didn’t know what it was or why he did it, but you knew it wasn’t good for either of you. So you were far too stubborn to let him push you away like that.
So you got into the habit of helping him with all of these issues. You knew exactly how to help him calm down when he was upset. You’d find ways and excuses to drag him out of the workshop to take a break. You made sure to reassure him that you were safe whenever you went out. And you always made sure to gently remind him when you needed supplies. But the biggest thing that you made sure to do was to help him remember to take care of himself.
You made meals for him often and would bring them down to his workshop so that he didn’t have an excuse to not eat. You’d bring him water and other drinks, occasionally bringing him a chamomile tea or something of the sort when he had been avoiding sleep. You’d tend to any cuts on his hands, and you’d give his hands massages after he’s been working for hours, to help him avoid getting cramps. Your biggest challenge, however, was to get him to shower.
Heisenberg hated showers. It wasn’t the idea of hygiene that was the issue. It was a mix of a lot of other things. He was tired most of the time when he came back to the living area, far too tired to convince himself to go shower. His body ached, and the water pressure in his factory was, well, aggressive. And while he would never admit it, Karl was incredibly self-conscious. He hated having to look at himself while he washed. Part of it was that he didn’t like the way he looked, but most of it was the scars. A lot of those scars he didn’t quite remember getting. But he knew where they were from. And the thoughts of the experiments that Miranda did on him haunted him every time he had to look at his scars.
So you had to find ways to make showering a little less painful for him. You just weren’t really sure how to do that. There were a few little tricks that you had tried. You had tried getting him soaps in smells that he loved and that made him feel confident. You tried rewarding him for taking care of himself with extra cuddles. You had even tried getting him to shower with most of the lights off so he wouldn’t have to see the scars. None of that really seemed to work. So you were on to your last resort. Distraction.
- - - - -
“I’m back,” Karl sighed as he dragged himself through the door to the living quarter. He had just run for supplies after a long day of working on his experiments. You could tell that he was exhausted. And you also knew, from the layer of sweat, grease, and dirt clinging to his body, that there was no way that he was going to feel better until he took a warm shower and washed himself off.
“I’m glad you made it safely,” You responded, knowing you needed to ease him into the idea of a shower, “How was the supply run? Anything eventful happen?”
“Not really,” He sighed, setting the bags down on the table in the kitchen, starting to unpack the food and things that he had bought, “The Duke made me go to the middle of the village. My guess is that he was hoping for some drama from the villagers acting weird around me, but most of them just steered clear. I have no issues with them right now as long as they don’t get in my way, so there wasn’t anything to entertain The Duke.”
“I wish he wouldn’t use you for entertainment like that,” You sighed in response, helping him put everything away, “You have enough to deal with. You shouldn’t have to deal with him treating you like a circus animal.”
“Yeah, well, I’m used to it. It’s better than being a lab rat,” He responded, the bitterness in his voice being clear. All you could really do to respond was to nod, a slight frown on your face as you thought about his childhood once again. It always made you angry to think about, but it wasn’t helpful for anyone for you to get upset.
The two of you continued to unpack the supplies in warm silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. It rarely was when the two of you were together. It was just that neither of you had anything to say. You were just enjoying each other’s company, enjoying being near each other, without having to fill the air with mindless small talk. It was only after you had put everything away that you finally broke the silence.
“Why don’t we hop in the shower, and then we can relax a bit,” You suggested gently, “You’ve had a long week. We should take some time to relax.”
He looked a bit uncomfortable and unsure at the suggestion, but didn’t outright object. He just winced. He understood that he needed a shower, but the look on his face told you that it might take a bit more convincing.
“I’ll join you if you want,” You said, winking at him, “I could use a shower too, so perhaps we could make things a bit more fun.”
His eyes widened a bit at that, and you saw his thoughts get a bit conflicted. He still wasn’t excited about the idea of having to go shower, but he was never one to turn down sex. He was entirely enamored with you, he thought you were the most attractive person he had ever seen. You watched the debate happen behind his eyes, trying to decide if he hated showering more than he loved seeing you nude. Eventually the part of him that just wanted to touch you all the time won out, and you saw the debate end. And he nodded in agreement to your plan.
- - - - -
You got the showering running while he got himself undressed. You had figured out the temperature of water that both of you liked a while ago, so you managed to get it right much quicker than Karl could. You couldn’t do much to help with the insane water pressure, but getting it to a decent temperature made it a much nicer experience.
Karl hesitated at the edge of the water flow when you were both ready. Something about actually stepping into the shower was one of the hardest steps for him. Because of that, you made a point to help him with that. You grabbed his hand and guided him into the shower with you, pulling him a bit closer to you. You wrapped your arms around his torso, pulling him in for a quick kiss to distract him while he started to get used to the feeling of the water running down his body.
It took a few moments for him to adjust, but eventually you felt his muscles relax under your fingers as you ran your hands across his body. You took that as your cue to start getting him cleaned up. You started with his hair, which got greasy pretty quickly. You rubbed the shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp in the process. He seemed to relax even more, enjoying the feeling of you playing with his hair. The feeling seemed to be doing well enough to distract him.
You normally try to get in and out as quickly as you can when it comes to helping Karl shower, and usually that means forgoing things like conditioner. But this time, you had a feeling that you had the time. So as you finished with the shampoo and slowly washed it out of your hair, never stopping your massages in the process, you grabbed your conditioner from the shelf. Karl didn’t use your soap very often, but sometimes when he was feeling especially sad, he liked to. It made it so that even if you weren’t right next to him, he could smell you.
You massaged the conditioner in, taking extra care to note exactly what motions made him relax extra. You took the opportunity to detangle a few of the knots in his hair as well. Using your fingers to gently pull the knots apart. Before long, his hair was soft and detangled, and he had been fairly relaxed the whole time. He hadn’t said anything, still fairly on edge, but he was much less tense than usual.
It was once you had moved on to the body wash that you could feel the tension returning to his body, despite your effort to massage his tight muscles. His whole body tensed each time your fingers ran across a scar. You watched every muscle in his back turn hard as your hand ran across a large scar on his hip. You needed to find a way to help him relax, before the calm mood was ruined completely.
You ran your hands across his chest, turning him to face you and taking a break from washing him off. He looked at you, a bit confused as you did. You just smiled at him, a smile that you knew made his heart melt a bit. The kisses you left softly on his neck did wonders on distracting him as well. He seemed tough, rigid like the metal he worked with, but when you were soft with him, he melted in an instant. So you just had to be soft.
You continued your care, leaving soft, small kisses across his collar bone. His hands started to wander, grabbing at your body as his own started to relax a bit. You finally felt his shoulders relax as one of your hands began to wander as well, sliding from his chest to just above his belt line. One of his hands raised to your face, pulling you by the chin into a kiss. It wasn’t rough like his usually are, but it was passionate in the soft and loving way.
As he pulled you closer, careful not to make you slip on the wet flooring, you felt something poke your leg, his erection catching your attention clearly. You had implied something a bit more intimate to bait him into the shower, so perhaps it was time for you to make good on that promise.
He raised his eyebrows as you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, sliding your hands down his chest as you did. You made sure to add a few kisses to his chest and stomach on the way down as well, your lips catching a slight taste of soap, but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t ignore. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, a small smirk finding its way onto your face as you started to slide your hands a bit lower, following the path of his hips to where his legs meet.
He was watching you intently, his mind far removed from the normal complaints of a shower. The only thing he was thinking about right now was you. He watched carefully as your hands moved to his cock, handling him gently at first. You gave him a few light pumps, getting a feel of just how aroused he was. The small drops of precum that appeared almost instantly were a pretty clear sign of just how much he wanted you. And you weren’t about to deny him what he wanted.
You started with a broad lick across the length of his cock, swirling your tongue around the head when you reached the tip. He groaned loudly, his hands finding their way to the back of your head in an instant. You took his tip into your mouth, still swirling your tongue around him. You could feel his impatience as his fingers started to dig into the back of your head as he tried to resist the urge to push your head down further.
Teasing was never something that he handled well, getting impatient quickly. He liked to take control, taking over completely if you teased him too much. Normally, you enjoyed it, but this was meant to distract him, meant to give him a chance to relax. So you yielded to his need, taking him a bit deeper into your mouth, making sure to maintain suction as you started to bob your head up and down.
“Fuck, (Y/n),” He groaned, pushing your head down just a bit more. You couldn’t help but savor the look of him, practically melting in your hands. His eyes were almost rolling back in his head as you took him all the way into your mouth, fighting your gag reflex as he reached your throat.
You moaned in response, the vibration making him groan again. The taste of his precum in the back of your throat was bitter and acidic, a sharp contrast to the clean smell of the soap clinging to his body. However, all you were truly thinking about at that moment was making him feel as good as you possibly could. You wanted to make him come undone completely in your mouth. And you were going to do just that.
You had to take a moment to breathe after a while, though, pulling him out of your mouth completely to do so. You looked divine, though. That was all Karl could think of as he watched you. The line of saliva trailing from your mouth to the tip of his cock, the look of your chest raising and falling harshly as you tried to catch your breath, the water clinging to your skin, all of it was perfect. You were perfect.
He almost lost it completely when you took him into your mouth again, the feeling of your tongue and the inside of your mouth wrapping around him was almost too much. You could feel it in the way his dick twitched in your mouth, and you hummed a bit to add a bit of extra sensation. He was getting close, so you would encourage him, edge him closer until he broke his resolve.
The hand on the back of your head was helping you along, setting a pace that he was enjoying as he pushed your head down the length of his cock. You made sure to keep the suction, and to continue to curl your tongue around him. He was cursing under his breath as you did, clearly losing his control. The shaking in his legs was another clear sign that he was reaching his finish. You were just enjoying turning him into putty in your hands. The sounds he made were music to your ears.
“(Y/n), I’m gonna- fuck,” He groaned out, giving you a bit of warning. You hummed in response, a sign that he had permission to spill himself into your mouth. And he did just that, the hot, sticky substance shooting straight into your throat and he held your head in place, his eyes screwed tightly shut.
Saliva and cum dripped out of the corners of your mouth as you pulled your head back, letting him fall from your mouth. The line your saliva formed, connecting your mouth to his cock was clear. It only broke when you closed your mouth again, swallowing deeply to clear your mouth out, but never breaking eye contact with Karl.
His pupils were still blown wide as he watched you catch your breath. He never took his eyes off of you. But his body was relaxed, the tension in his muscles had entirely dissolved, and instead of the normal far-off look in his eyes that he usually had when he was trying to stay calm, they were entirely focused on you. Your plan seemed to have worked.
“We should do this more often,” You said, an amused grin clear on your face.
“I agree,” He replied.
(A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I hope your guys enjoyed it. Don't forget, tips are welcome at Venmo: Al3x13l if you'd like to support me with my writing.)
295 notes · View notes
lochsides · 3 years
Text
Yellow Metal - cathartic Review
Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.
I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.
I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.
I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.
“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.
“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.
“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.
“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.
“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.
“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.
“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.
“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.
“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.
“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.
“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!
“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.
“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.
“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.
“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.
“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.
“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.
“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.
“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.
“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.
“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!
“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.
“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.
“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.
65 notes · View notes