#no i did not s*lf h*rm

[simplepotatofarmer]

despite how awful things have been, i'm glad i kept speaking up because the outcome with bob mowzie was wonderful. i'm really pleased he was so open and listened.

like, it can't erase the horrendous shit that was said to a lot of us or sent to people speaking up, but it makes it worthwhile to get a good outcome.

#i might not be super active because one of the things was #people sending s*lf h*rm in form of fan cams and it did send me spiraling a little #since i've struggled with that in the past #but i AM okay

[sonego]

these first 3 months of 2023 i've thought a lot of how ironic life can be

#specifically (TW for s*lf h*rm talk): #i spent years physically hurting myself and ignoring just how much i hated pain #and now i really really wish i could not feel pain bc near constant physical pain is excruciating #from forcing myself to physically hurt even if i am shit at handling pain #to wishing so bad i could stop feeling pain #like. isn't it ironic. #i don't blame past me like ik why i did that and the correlation is not a logical one. obv i could not imagine what i would go thru now #it's just funny how life works you do the most to make yourself miserable then when you're ready to feel okay you physically aren't able to #sigh idk anyway. i lowkey can't take this anymore. every time it seems it's better it gets worse again #i'm so tired #and i kinda feel very alone even if i know i'm the one who's isolating myself #... it's just hard to talk to ppl when your mind and body are so occupied w dealing w pain #and also i feel so bad bc i feel like i'm bothering the ppl in my life way too much ... when all i talk abt is my pain #sorry for the oversharing lmao i just feel bad rn #delete later

[thornsnvultures]

I read through all twenty-one of the Ice Planet Barbarian books in a month. I am ready for death. Or a medal of some sort.

#finished the last one last night #why did i do that to myself #they were all free with unlimited but that's no excuse to s*lf h*rm

[frvnkcastles]

WRETCHED & JOYFUL ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Frank sees your scars for the first time.

Warnings: DESCRIPTIONS OF S*LF-H*RM SCARS. Please proceed with caution. Some making out, doesn’t go all the way to smut.

Word count: 1.3k

Author’s note: I broke my 3 month streak recently and wrote this to process. Much love to anyone who might relate <3

The weight of his body on top of yours felt secure and all-encompassing, the warmth and firmness of his bare chest stealing away the little breath you had left between seared kisses. His arms were over your head, closing you against the mattress, and you couldn’t help but shut your eyes and let the moment consume you.

It felt like a dream, one that you had repeated an endless amount of times, but this time, the feeling of his lips and the scent of his cologne were all real and not a mere figment of your imagination.

Right here, right now, this moment was perfect.

It wasn’t the first time Frank kissed you, and right now you doubted it would be the last, but you had never been like this — enveloped between his firm body and your soft mattress, the buttons of his shirt drawn open and his chest for your hands to wander across, and your breath hitched in your throat as he moved to kiss down your neck and his stubble grazed your skin.

It was entirely too overwhelming, in the best possible way, but enough to numb your mind from any mundane thoughts, any daily worries that haunted you whenever he wasn’t there. That was why you didn’t hesitate when his large hand dipped to the hem of your sweater — why it slipped your mind that undressing you came with the burden of what hid beneath.

Frank’s eyes roamed all over you, hungry and curious as he sat back just enough to take in the sight of you, his hands balling up your sweater and tossing it onto the floor without a second thought. With your eyes heavy with intoxication of him, you watched his chest rise and fall as he watched you beneath him, the denim of his jeans abrasive against your bare thighs.

Then, his gaze found your arm, and the half-hearted smirk on his lips fell. You recognized the look instantly, and you were punched in the gut with the realization that in your need for him, you had forgotten to worry about revealing all of you to him — and tonight, you weren’t concerned about dips of soft flesh or stretches of imperfect skin as much as you were about them. The scars.

A lump rose in your throat, and panic delved into your heart as you silently watched Frank process.

”Sweetheart…”, he finally spoke up, his voice husky and heavy with a mix of emotions you couldn’t quite decipher. But it wasn’t all pity — it was, on some level, understanding, and that somehow broke your heart even harder.

”Hey, we can pretend like I ain’t see a thing”, he continued, suddenly more of his assured self when he saw the fear in your wide eyes. Fear of what, exactly, he couldn’t pinpoint. Of rejection? Judgment? Well, he had hoped you’d expect better of him, but he understood. He did. He didn’t want to push or pressure, not when you looked like a single touch would shatter you right there and then — so he waited patiently, leaving it to you to tell him what you wanted.

”It’s okay”, you finally managed, your lip trembling slightly as you sat up on the pillows, brushing your hand across your scarred arm and not missing the way Frank tensed when you did. Still, there was something safe in the way he softly looked you over, convincing you to speak up. ”I—I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But it’s… not my favorite thing to constantly hide from you”, you hesitated, and swallowing, Frank sat down opposite from you and gave you a slow nod.

”You don’t owe me nothin’, sweetheart. But I promise, you ain’t gotta hide with me. Shit, you deal with my messes every goddamn day, yeah? I’mma stick by you all the same”, he promised, making sure to keep his eyes on yours, not staring at the faded scars littered across your arm. He remained patient and respectful with you, and you certainly noticed.

”Promise I’m not gonna scare you away?” you asked with a quiet chuckle and repeating the sound, Frank ducked his head briefly before glancing up at you.

”Promise.” He spoke so sternly, you couldn’t help but believe him. When he reached for your hand, you extended your arm over to him and let him encompass your smaller fingers against his palm. ”Y’know I love you, right?” he asked quietly, then, almost shy, and you melted into a smile.

”I know, Frankie. I love you, too”, you whispered before leaning over to him to press a kiss against his beaten nose. ”And don’t ever think you’ve caused any of this”, you pleaded, and with a hesitant nod, he made a silent promise. You knew him well enough to know he wanted to blame himself, which was why you were glad when he asked for clarification.

”You don’t gotta answer this. Aight? I make you uncomfortable, you tell me to shut the fuck up”, he insisted, and you couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. ”What, uh… What’s… How come, y’know?” he asked, stumbling, just a hint awkward but you appreciated his attempt to remain respectful.

You swallowed. It was a loaded question, but one you wanted to help him understand. ”Sometimes it just hurts too much. Too many loud thoughts in my head at once, too many overwhelming feelings… I guess, in some weird way, I just want to be heard. To be taken seriously. I’m hurting but when it’s on the inside…”, you struggled to find the right words. But the look in Frank’s eyes suggested that maybe he understood.

”Yeah, hey… I hear you, sweetheart. I ain’t sayin’ it’s the same, but that, uh… that makes sense to me, I s’pose”, he licked his lips, still holding your hand with soft caresses against your skin. ”And you’ve seen me. I got plenty of my scars, too. You’ve never once judged me, huh?” he reminded, and with a soft smile, you nodded.

A silence fell in the room, and you wondered if, after all, it had been a bit too much.

”Kinda ruined the mood, huh?” you chuckled nervously, and rushing to interject you with a pfft, Frank gripped your hand a bit tighter.

”Nah, don’t say that. I ain’t goin’ anywhere”, he gave you a grave look before gesturing at his lap. ”C’mere”, he whispered, and unsure what he was planning, you slowly crawled to straddle his hips, your hands landing on his chest while his came to rest on your waist.

”What are you thinking?” you asked with bated breath, watching his eyes as they eyed your arm with your permission, allowing him to take in the sight fully.

Slowly, Frank reached for your wrist and held your arm up so he could place a kiss along the scars, followed by another one, and another, and another…

”I think you’re beautiful”, he murmured, looking up into your eyes in a way that sent your heart reeling and stomach flipping. ”Fuckin’ beautiful and goddamn brave. You amaze me, sweetheart. So strong”, he showered you with praise, leaning in to kiss your jaw — not so heated this time, promising you that he had no ulterior motive, only the hope of showing you even a sliver of the affection and love you deserved.

”That’s bold coming from you”, you argued with a content sigh, and with a protesting grumble rising up his chest, Frank leaned into you more.

”This ain’t ’bout me. I fuckin’ adore you, ’s what I think”, he stated matter-of-factly, and when you broke into a faint smile, he couldn’t help but do the same. ”Means a lot you’d share with me. And hey, any time you need me to hold your hand through the urge, you lemme know. I’m all in”, Frank continued, his low voice sending a shiver down your spine.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and softly shushing you, Frank wrapped his arms around you and let you drop your head to his shoulder. He hugged you, his firm hands holding you tight as you cried, so grateful and so safe in his arms.

And while it wasn’t a fix or a solution, his promise to stand by your side was hope.

#frank castle #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader #tw: sh

[chiara-hotel]

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

As stated above. I did research the topic a bit more to understand it because I've never been diagnosed by it. Also, I do know everyone's depression looks and feels different. Characters: Sigma TW: Depression, Su*c*de, S*lf H*rm

Sigma:

- On the outside, Sigma will seem like the best case in this scenario. But deep inside hes questioning if what hes doing is okay or if he made your depression worse

- He will cuddle you or comfort you when you feel down, he may not be the best with words but he tries

- Also invites you to the casino or his workplace if you need him to be there with you

- Encourages you to talk to him if you feel anxious/sad/hopeless

- If you cry hes really going to doubt himself with taking care of you but he’ll still say things like “it’ll be okay” or something like such

- If you have any thoughts of self harming, he might take you to a doctor right away because he doesn’t want you hurting himself

- Especially if he walks in on it, he will grab the knife in your hand by the blade to get it out of your grasp (even if his hand needs stitches by the end of it)

- After that he’ll say somethings like “please don’t die, I love you so much I can’t imagine the world without you” while hugging you for dear life

- He will encourage you to talk to him, do some activities, eat & sleep regularly

- Speaking of which Sigma makes sure you sleep on time. By that, he’ll even sleep early for you.

- On the topic of eating aswell, I don’t think Sigma would cook much but I think he would try to learn just for you if needed

- Also might add some vitamins such as B or D in the food so you can have more of them.

—————————————————————————

Notes:

About my halloween event, Imm starting to write many of the fics. Theres a few slots left if you do want to request

#bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #sigma x reader #sigma bsd

[rowiewritesstuff]

Yandere tfp smokescreen; nb tradesman reader? (And/or, separately) yandere soundwave x recovering s*lf h*rm addict?

Your yandere writing is one of a kind!

Yandere Soundwave X S*lfh*rm Reader

MASSIVE TW: S*lfh*rm and Su*c*d* Mentions. Probably the most fucked up of all the ones I’ve written so far. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! THX BABES

If you need help here's a hotline finder: https://findahelpline.com/

You're not alone <3

You had been with Soundwave for a long while. He had taken you as a ‘pet’ because he’d found you interesting. He’s steadily grown to care about you over the time he’d held you captive.

You had often tried to escape the Nemesis. You had tried to leave the Nemesis when it was docked one time. He had caught you pretty quickly because of the security cameras throughout the Nemesis.

The next attempt, you jumped onto a flying Vehicon. The Vehicon obviously returned you right to the terrifying TIC, in fear of consequences. 

The next time, you made friends with a Vehicon. At first, you were just using them- but soon you actually began to care for ST3V3. You even called her Steve. Soundwave knew about your friendship, and allowed it. He was glad he didn’t have to chase you around anymore- it was getting tiresome for the old bot. 

Steve began to pity you, and offered you an escape. You weren’t sure- you had no clue what Soundwave would do to her if he found out. 

She insisted, and when the patrol was at its thinnest she decided to try and help you escape. With you stuffed in her subspace, she started towards the exit. Sadly for you, Soundwave already knew. He waited right at the exit Steve was meant to take.

“U-uh, Soundwave sir! What can I help you with?”

Before she could get another word out, the silent mech grabbed onto her with his tentacles. He slammed her into the ground and began to rip open her subspace. Steve was screaming in agony as he ripped her chest open and pulled you out. Other Vehicons saw, but did nothing- they couldn’t. 

Soundwave held you in one tentacle. Using clipped together voices lines from Steve to mock you, he said “This is what- happens when you- try to es-ca-pe.”

Without a second to waste, he drove his sharp talons into Steve’s spark. You screamed at the gory sight. “STEVE! NO! GOD NO, WHY?!” His blank visor stared at you. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! I HATE YOU!” 

Soundwave then electrocuted you, sending you into darkness. When you woke up, you were in your ‘room’. It was really just a giant glass box with necessities. Soundwave had taken out all the sources of entertainment. When you looked outside of your cage, you fell to your knees. 

Sitting on a table in front of you was Steve’s head. You could tell it was theirs because it had the small scratching on the paint spelling out “Steve”. 

That’s when you realized you were never getting off of this ship. Days passed by, and Soundwave checked on you every few hours. Whenever he would poke or prod at you, you’d turn away. You were slowly losing the fire he saw in you at first- that’s good. He was tired of you trying to escape all of the time. 

One night, you had nightmares of Steve’s death. She was blaming you- and she was right. You shouldn’t have tried to get away. You killed her. 

You could hear her voice echoing in your head as you made your way to your bathroom, where your razor was.

When Soundwave found you, he panicked. He quickly rushed you to Knockout who treated you to the best of his knowledge. 

Soundwave then realized he took it way too far. He should have never killed them in front of you. You are human! You’re fragile- he should have remembered that. When you were stable enough to be moved, he made sure your enclosure was free of anything you could use to hurt yourself- anything heavy but light enough to hold, forks, even spoons. 

Your room was more locked down than a mental health hospital. 

When you came to, you cried. You didn’t want this. You wanted off this ship. You yelled and screamed at Soundwave- and he let you. He read on the internet that humans had to get their emotions out. When you stopped, he picked you up and cradled you. You didn’t have any energy to fight him as he rocked you back and forth. You didn’t want to- you wanted this comfort.

Soundwave forced Knockout to learn about human mental health so he could give you regular appointments. Knockout carefully began manipulating you so that you’d start realizing all that Soundwave had ‘done’ for you. Mostly because he didn’t want to spend time babysitting Soundwave’s human- but he’d never say that to Soundwave’s face.

Slowly, you got happier. You were starting to fall in love with Soundwave- and he was glad for it. Soundwave never left you alone- which meant that you always went to him for comfort. He began giving you anything you wanted now that you weren’t fighting him.

Megatron and Soundwave had some high-grade one day while you were sleeping under Knockout’s supervision. 

Soundwave used voice clips to explain the situation.

“Ah, like a true Decepticon. Maybe I should grab a human pet sometime as well. There was one I’ve had my eye on for a while.” 

Soundwave held his hand out to reveal a small key. It was to his enclosure for you. He always thought that another friend for you would be nice- now he had an actual reason to grab one. 

#tw selfharm #tw #tw implied suicide attempt #tw depression #tw yandere #yandere soundwave #knockout #tw kidnapping #tfp x reader #yandere transformers #tfp soundwave #yandere tfp soundwave #transformers prime #read the warnings #maccaddam

[lawnmowereater]

hello! i was wondering if you could make a fic even a short one on how bakugou (boyfriend) would react to seeing the (old) scars on your wrist for the first time. Just how he'd react for not noticing it before and stuff.

Authors Notes: omg yes i can! your my first person to request something so thank you so much. if you wanted a longer story im sorry. (also this is not my gif)

Trigger Warning: S-lf H-rm

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, Like One Use of y/n

Bakugou seeing your old SH scars.

yall would probably just be chilling in his dorm

like having a little date night or romantic sleepover

and you just changed into your pajamas and they show a lot more skin than the outfits that you usually wear

you both were probably just scrolling on your phones together or watching tv, then bakugou got bored. he just started looking around in curiousity

then he looked at your revealed skin, and kinda started looking at it. he did end up dating the hottest person in the world, so he might as well admire them

but his heart dropped when he saw tons of old, small sc-rs all along your skin. they seemed healed which was good, but that didnt bother bakugou the most

his voice sounded small and a tad bit scared when he spoke "hey y/n..?"

you looked at him confused. he normally never sounds this scared unless something is really wrong. so you ask what's up

"those sc-rs look pretty bad, and before you say anything. dont lie to me, i know that you couldn't have gotten that many sc-rs that bad from training"

his voice sounded a bit harsh, but you knew that he was just scared and worried.

your eyes widened in fear when he pointed them out. you quickly grab a blanket and cover yourself before trying to lie your way out of the situation. but its too late

bakugou knew what those sc-rs were from, he wasnt an idiot.

when he spoke, his voice now sounded a bit shaky. and his eyes looked glassy, it seemed as if he was holding back tears

"no, dont lie. i know that you got those from s-lf h-rm." bakugou takes a deep breath "but.. why?"

his red eyes shimmered with held back tears as he waited for you to answer him. he was so worried but he didnt want to show you.

eventually, you told him why you s-lf h-rmed (idk why you did). it took a lot of courage to open up to bakugou, and he realizes that.

when you're done, you look up to bakugou for his reaction. although your teary eyes slightly blur up the view

bakugou has a few dried tears on his cheek. and he looks like a lost puppy. his eyes are wide with worry and concern.

he never really had comfort and support for his mental health growing up. this whole concept of opening up to your loved ones is still kinda stange for him

"im sorry, i.. i had no idea" he doesnt really know what to say, but he'll be damned if he doesnt try his best.

"but, just come to me the next time that you feel like doing this. i cant have you going around with bloody sc-rs like its nobodies business."

he looks at you and your teary eyes. he thinks for a moment, but then he opens his arms for you to climb into.

you slowly climb into his arms and onto his lap. his arms go around your torso as your arms goes behind his.

and you guys just kinda stay there for a while, not saying anything. its a comfortable silence, and you both definitely need it.

eventually after god knows how long, bakugou whispers into your ear "why didnt you tell me sooner?"

bakugou was worring this whole time about why you didnt tell him. was he not trust worthy? did he do something wrong?

you sooth his worries by telling him that you were just scared of what he would say, and if we would take it well.

a wave of relief washes over his body when you say that. he thought that he did something wrong.

then, he says "good. this better not be my fault."

he pauses to think for a bit.

"do you need food?"

he couldnt think of many other ways to comfort you, so this will have to so.

happily, the two of you walk into the kitchen for dinner, and prepare to spend a whole lot more time cuddling tonight.

#mha #Bakugou x reader #Bakugou #angst #fluff #s-lf h-rm #fanfiction #x reader #bnha

[victoirey]

what about faetown if reader haha idk -

DIED😈

W.ITHOUT YOU —

"my prince, this announcement is in dire need of your attention –"

"go on."

"their highness, y/n, has passed."

♡ – notes :: okay. this is , genuinely one of the darkest things I have ever posted onto this hellsite. if this affects you after you read, please take a sip of water & rest. I love you. I care about you.

♡ – characters :: robaire , jesse , aaron t , aaron z , tae young

♡ – trigger warnings :: depression [ all their parts , likely ] , something going through robaire's hand, blizzards, s*lf h*rm implied, suicidal tendencies, implied suicide, 4th degree burns, all of the boys are unstable, aaron z ripping a heart out, resurrection rituals, a crow gets slaughtered, violence, please tell me if I'm missing anything.

the quill in robaire's hold snapped, it's remains now on the floor as the prince jolted up right, now standing – his fallen chair left behind. he remained silent, his back facing the servant. he remained silent. so, eerily silent, it was.. horrifying. he did not cry, nor did he lash out in anger. no, no, he stood his ground.

"so i see..." that was all he said to the servant, before waving his hand and dismissing them.

the moment the door closed, the moment it so much as clicked – he loosened himself. his hand slammed onto the wall, claws gripping it with such fervor it cracked -

he stumbled. black splotches crowded his vision, he frantically waved his hands around trying to stay awake.

stay awake.

his hands felt something. his hands felt something. that's good. he felt his clothing hook. good. that was good.

stay awake.

he tried to hold onto it, his palm running down the metal until he was sure he could safely hold onto it - his breathing grew shakier, broken gasps coming out of his mouth.

stay awake.

it went through his hand.

stay awake.

it went through his hand.

stay awake.

he let out a pained groan as he gave into the darkness — the loud thump alerting the nearby servants who immediately came to his aid.

♡

next thing he knew, he was back in his bed - and he looked to his side, expecting you, yet getting no one.

that explains why it was cold.

his gaze settled onto the ceiling, and if someone were to witness his current state right now - they'd swear that they saw the prince's eyes lose their sparkle. robaire tiredly sighed.

he stayed like that for the whole day, and the day after, and the day after that - and the whole week, then the next week, then the week after that - then the month after that, then the months after that, then the next year.

not hungry for anything besides the taste of your lips.

not thirsty for anything besides your love.

not looking for entertainment besides your dorky little jokes.

not living for anything but the fact that you would've wanted him to live.

the air grew colder with each second that passed. jesse stood silent, his mouth parted in shock as his eyes widened. his pupils shook. letting out a sigh , he looked at the servant.

"you are lying to me." he stated, simply.

the servant immediately waved off his accusations, telling him that they could never lie to his highness - but with how the prince looked at them with crazed eyes ? It no longer seemed like he'd listen to their explanation.

it was freezing.

the servant felt trapped, and as they looked down - they saw that they were indeed being frozen. ice crawled up up their neck until they were left forever still, their face in utter horror.

the prince showed no sympathy, instead turning his heel and making his way to your his chambers. there, he saw you, tucked up into your blanket - eyes still open yet dull, as the palace nurses worked on ensuring you were put to rest nicely.

he didn't know what came over him.

ice started to climb the room's walls. the nurses had dropped what they were holding as if to feel atleast a bit of warmth because it was so cold- and before they knew it, they had froze to death.

except you were unscathed. of course you were.

he could never hurt you.

♡

it was so much colder than usual.

so much colder.

the fae of ice's wings had frozen over completely, leaving them only their feet as a use of transportation. which they did not like, for their feet were practically freezing even with shoes over them. they were practically freezing with layers upon layers of clothes on – and whose fault was that? why, the damned prince of course.

so devastated by his mortal lovers death, he froze over the plains! what kind of prince does that to his subjects ?! disgraceful !

for a few minutes, fear struck the land as their fellow fae were frozen over , their remains becoming nothing but the shards of ice on the ground.

yet slowly, the air had suddenly gone warmer – no longer were their feet freezing, no longer were they freezing.

they sigh, relieved.

they wonder who had knocked sense into the prince this time.

♡

his own children had incapacitated him.

he was locked in the dungeons, his screams to be heard by no one as his children calmed the blizzard put into the lands due to their father going haywire.

locked in the dungeon, powers blocked off with shackles resembling metal gloves – he screamed at whoever decided to hear him, at his children, for his one last wish. his one last demand.

♡

in the middle of the cellar, there was you. frozen to solid ice for the sake of preservation. but it was okay because all jesse saw was you.

he smiled.

he felt okay now.

aaron let out a laugh. It was empty, and weak. yet he still laughed.

"I would not joke about something this serious, my prince."

he laughed harder this time, even tearing up a bit. his laughs and snorts had soon turned into broken sobs, which turned into wails as he buried his face into the crook of the servants neck, who awkwardly patted him on the back - doing their best to comfort him. he choked on his saliva, coughing and coughing and yet he didn't care because he lost you.

he lost you, like he did her.

he lost you.

the veins in his hands grew visible, a lava like substance in them – he continued to cry. he continued to cry until his throat gave out, until his head throbbed and until his eyes went red. he continued to cry.

a sharp pain to his hands.

burned beyond recognition, all because he couldn't control his powers - and scorched himself. they were beyond painful.

yet nothing could compare to the pain of losing you.

♡

" the prince has bounced back rather quickly !" they'd whisper, "yes, but do you not think he's acting a bit off?" some would whisper back. acting a bit off. acting like their highness once did, like y/n did.

aaron tritus had adapted your personality as a coping mechanism, as a way to never forget you.

yet, there were still parts of him that were originally his, and remained his.

the gloves on his hands, hiding fourth degree burns attested to that.

they were reminders.

reminders that these hands of his,

these hands of his that you once held in your own,

these hands of his that touched you so tenderly, took care of you like you were the fragilest piece of glass,

these hands of his that had failed to protect you when you needed to be protected.

aaron zimera held so much power.

he was respected by so many, he was revered by so many that the masses would do quite literally anything for him - he was sure he was able to find someone to save you, if he wasn't able to do it himself.

so why? why do you lay in his arms, lifeless, with no one able to prolong your life span long enough ?

just another hour would be enough.

another minute.

another second.

just more time to see you smile again, more time to kiss your tears away.

" meleth nin. " [ " my love. " ] he said, hoping that one last time, you'd turn your head in response - humming.

" ithildin. " [ "star/moonlight." ]he tried again, perhaps you didn't like that nickname of his, perhaps it was too old school.

he tried, again and again.

" elenath nin. " [ " my stars. " ]

" starlight. " he tried, his voice cracking a bit.

" my moon. " he tried, tearing up.

" my light. " - a last attempt, before all he could utter was :

"Y/N."

you didn't respond. you never responded.

♡

he screamed.

screamed at the gods he used to respect, because how could he respect anyone who took you away from him? impossible.

how dare the gods be so cruel.

he won't lose you. not yet.

who would he be if he lost you? not a zimera, of course.

zimeras. they do anything for their beloved.

aaron stands up, careful not to harm your dead body - it must be in pristine condition for it to work. with a wave of his hand, a staff places itself in his palm.

anything for their beloved.

aaron chooses a zircon crow, for they have flown through the skies the moment the jeweled lands shaped itself. he risks everything to venture through with the merciless elements making themselves known as obstacles.

in the ruins of hoang, the fallen nation everything started - he finds one. a zircon crow who's lived for far longer than he can comprehend, a zircon older than time - and he takes in their excellence.

then he kills it.

he kills it brutally and rips it's heart out, soiled hands clutching the black heart.

he returns to your dead body laying in your shared bed.

he grins, and shoves the heart into your mouth.

you open your eyes and gulp, swallowing it on instinct.

"welcome back, starlight."

now you can be together, forever.

it baffled the spring fae — how their prince took his lover's death with grace not expected of a being who could only fall inlove once and then never again. it was unheard of , bizarre , taboo even. how could the prince of the spring fae, not be angry? not show any ounce of emotion at the fact his lover had passed? he didn't seem affected at all.

what they did not see, however, was the way that tae young jumped into the deadliest situations. he'd become reckless, and his temper caused him to smite anyone who so much as minorly inconvenienced him. he was so good at hiding his emotions, yet he couldn't hide them all the time. It's why those who inhabited the castle had been unlucky to witness this side of him.

the tae young who'd continously step onto the railing, his wings the only thing keeping him from falling - and yet they seemed to slow as he put one foot out. if it weren't for the servant who caught him before he fell, his blood would've been splattered onto the palace.

the tae young who stared at blades longer than he should've, as if he were thinking of something, anything to get the pain of losing you out of him. even if he'd bleed his pain out.

except of course, the palace people cannot be there all the time.

it was bound to happen.

he had thrown himself off the balcony, the balcony in which you confessed to him - his wings were mangled beyond repair, his bones broken and yet he was still alive.

god damn it.

a servant had found him, alas, they were too late — he was bleeding out, the only thing with him a blade of which he placed in the servant's hands.

" please kill me. make it so that I'll never have to experience how it's like to live without them anymore. please kill me."

@wondero28 @lost-lonnie @hedili @eunhanology

#robaire x reader #dead dove do not eat #jesse x reader #aaron z x reader #aaron t x reader #4town x reader #4town #turning red 4town #tae young x reader #4town tae young x reader #4town tae young #4town jesse #4town robaire #4town aaron z #4town aaron t #turning red x reader #angst #tw violence #tw

[theghostbunnie]

what's the worst camp camp fandom story you heard? or, what are some bad or wild ones?

You wanna see the longest lists of trigger warnings I've ever written? here we go

TW: ⚠️R*pe, S*lf H*rm, S*icide, Pregnancy, Violence, death, Gr*oming, Abuse, all mentions⚠️ hopefully I'm not forgetting anything

I was recently told a story about this person who was stuck in a ongoing roleplay(s) that just kept getting worse and worse. It involved Max, trans FTM teenager involved with Snake but he was abusive and they were constantly cheating on each other and Max had multiple children with him, Preston, had other partners even. Snake had children with Erin. Alot of it was Max facing alot of abuse and troubles, and physical bullying at school even while pregnant. There was always either a baby on the way or a newborn. David kicked Max out for being a teen parent, turned to alcoholism, Max was constantly going back to Snake, abandoning the kids. David being mad at Max despite doing the same thing. Gwen acted like David, accidentally crashed the car into a hospital with the main cast inside. Snake kidnapped a baby with no consequences. I was just appalled reading them telling me this.

Then there's like the typical "here's like 5 artists that got popular then called out for drawing werid shit of kids or doing werid shit to kids" heard a lot of those stories. Recently had to leave a server bc another one came out, jfc.

I don't have the attention span for fics but I've heard of some from other people that're like "Daniel 🍇 ing David but David is still in love with him," "Jasper 🍇ing David and Daniel comes and kills him and saves David" "Gwen abusing David and Daniel kills her and saves him" I group read a fic when Wattpad was getting streamed on a discord call and it mentioned Nikki Neil and Max all had cellphones and Max decided to run away bc his mom was kinda rude to him and made him do some chores and he's like "I can't take this anymore" and told his friends to runaway with him without actually telling them what they were doing and they weren't even missing for 24 hours and none of their parents called them but it hit the news and the news/even Max's father making a statement was like "yeah Max probably kidnapped those other kids" LIKE HE AIN'T TEN YEARS OLD AND MISSING HIMSELF 😭 the fic was probably written by someone very young along time ago so I don't wanna dig into it too hard but omg

Personal experiences I have are like, on Kik actually when I was first in this fandom my only exposure was basically a public chat on Kik and then later amino. Max fangirls had little to no boundaries with Max RPers and I had a problem saying no as a kid so it got me into some wacky adventures!!/neg

Like a problem we had in that GC was people coming in with their OCs and like the most openly triggering backstories ever speaking on them loudly and like making their OCs cut n stuff and a friend I had at the time literally blew a fuse and basically told them "you are RUINING my one safe space do you srsly have to bring that in the RP"

We had a Nerris RPer who would make her have full violent breakdowns and I don't even remember all the details but it got so bad and us being all young and stupid tried to handle it THROUGH RP IN CHARACTER TO AVOID DIRECT CONFLICT 😭 I remember Rping as Nerris' parents getting called to pick her up and take her back home bc she couldn't control herself. It made things worse.

This one person had an OC who was Daniel's and David's baby they found in a dumpster and throughout the course of that RP they kept ageing her up and she went from being a baby herself to being a teenage mom of two. I remember my friend rping as the social service worker who came and took her kids after I had Max call her in.

Same OC did the "storming off dramatically" thing and I tried to be nice and have Max follow her and they had her respond "turns around with a bow and arrow and shoots you directly in the eye and doesn't miss" and jasper and Gwen got their date interrupted to take Max to a hospital and recon that it ALMOST* got his eye bc he would've IMMEDIATELY DIED realistically.

On amino there was this one max fangirl RPer even my current friend now had a run-in with and at the time I had even heard stories about how she would go into group RPs and cause a stir.

Like wanting Max to date her and when he refused she killed herself and then started rping as her OCs brother and berating and harassing Max for "killing his sister"

She joined MY rp once and I panicked bc I always delt with things THROUGH my character or ignoring it. But this RP was a personality swap and Max was a really sweet kid and she always wanted to be right on his hip, trying to interact with him.

So I made him, (who was currently in the mess hall attic) fall through the ceiling and onto a table so I didn't have to talk to her OC

#tw self harm mention #tw pregnancy #tw injury #tw rap3 #tw death #tw suicide #hopefully I'm not forgetting anything

[shedaresthedevil]

Every Star Fall Brought You to Tears Again

Pairing: Matt Murdock X ReaderOC (reader uses she/they pronouns)

Warnings: FLUFF, some angst (Just a sprinkle), smut, afab!reader, brief mention of S*lf h*rm, Matt being soft, tattoos, one bad blind joke, just lots and lots of fluff….and a very poorly, but made with love, cake.

Based on the ask “How long did you think you could hide this from me?” for @e-dubbc11

A/N :This is a LONG fic, its 7672 words. As per usual, I will be editing continuously, so if you see a mistake, no you did not.

There are TWO song links, and the second is exactly what I imagine reader's mother sounded like.

PLEASE tell me your favorite line/ part.

@matt-erialgirl  @freshabogados  @loki-silver-tongued-god  @e-dubbc11  @lexlovescoffee  @pleasedin @candyello @carisi-sonny @sobachka-korol @1800-fight-me @mydeerprongsie1960 @alrighty-matty @moonlarking

You felt Matt’s mouth on your back, softly kissing up the moon phases along your spine. You let out a gentle sigh as you felt his lips on the last crescent phase between your shoulder blades, arching as he traveled to your neck.

“Good morning.” he whispered, moving your hair out of your face.

You had gone to a Twenty One Pilots concert last night at Madison Square Garden, and smears of red eyeshadow and tear tracks painted your face. Matt had come home after you, bruised but mostly intact, only to find that you had shed your clothes and flopped in bed, too exhausted to shower.

“Hmm.” you replied sleepily, smiling as you turned over.

You cracked an eye, hand reaching for your phone to check the time.

7 a.m.

You groaned, pulling your quilt back over your head.

"Matty, it's too early." You protested, relaxing instantly as you felt Matt's hands rubbing small circles on your back.

"I ran you a bath, and I'm going to make your favorite breakfast. All you have to do is get up, sweetheart."

Your head crept up from under the blankets, just slightly and Matt laughed.

"Did you get the good bacon from Nelson's?"

"Of course, only the best for your birthday."

You sat up, only to curl around Matt with your head on his lap, his fingers finding themselves in your hair.

"My birthday was five weeks ago, Matt. You don't have to do all this." You murmured, on the verge of falling back asleep.

"You spent your birthday working and being uncomfortable in someone's lap. I think you deserve a redo."

That was true, you supposed. You had had to pose as an exotic dancer to obtain some Intel and it unfortunately had coincided with your 28th birthday. Getting to dress up and use your cosplay and sfx skills for a Halloween themed night had been fun, but writhing around on someone other than Matt's lap had been…not so fun.

" Dancing on your lap was fun though, and after we got home. I swear I'm still sore."

You said, grinning up at him mischievously.

"Are you complaining?"

The bruises and some bite marks still adorned your body, mostly healed but still a reminder that you were Matt's.

"Absolutely not."

"Did you have a good time last night?"

Matt knew how much you loved music, which is why he had planned to take you to the orchestra later. He couldn't wait to tell you, but several things had to come before that.

"Mhmm, I only cried like four times, it's fine."

"Four? That's not bad for you at a concert."

Matt was unsurprised at the pillow that collided with his arm.

"Butthead. You could have caught that." You grumbled playfully.

He chuckled, setting the pillow back at the top of the bed.

"Yeah but I may have deserved it. Your water is getting colder by the second, you better get up. We have a lot to do today, but we can only do it all if you get up in the next few seconds."

Matt leaned down, placing a kiss on your forehead. How could you say no to this man?

Reluctantly, you rolled out of bed, making your way to the bathroom. You both had agreed to stay at your house on the outer edge of Hell's Kitchen last night, and you were so glad you did. Your bathtub was far larger than Matthews, and you could fully submerge or have Matt join you, if you wanted to. You took care of your personal business, brushed your teeth, and finally entered the main interior of your bathroom. A few dozen red carnations floated atop the steaming hot bath. The water was darkened with a black bath bomb you had made, the identical scent of your perfume oil filling the air. You felt yourself grin from ear to ear.

"Surprise." Matt had crept up behind you, hanging up fresh towels on your heated rack.

"This is… thank you."

You felt strange, shy almost at the amount of kindness he showed you, even after you had admitted that you had feelings for each other.

"Of course. You don't need to thank me, sweetheart. I did it because I wanted to, and because you deserve it."

"Do I though?" You thought, eyes finding the black and white marble of your floor.

You felt Matt's hand on your face. He couldn't read your mind, but he knew you well enough now to know that you often felt unworthy of things, just like he did. Matt's lips found yours, and you surrendered immediately.

"You deserve to be taken care of. You deserve to be loved. I love you. So much." He whispered, his thumb brushing across your jaw reassuringly.

You took a step back so he could "see" you better.

"I l-o-v-e y-o-u, t-o-o, d-e-v-i-l-i-s-h  m-a-n"  You signed, giving each letter individually.

You hadn't mouthed the words, nor spoken them. Matt had been learning ASL, and you had been learning how to read in braille. The latter was a secret until he caught you one night, hands skimming over the page. He had asked that you taught him some ASL in exchange, in case you ever needed to communicate silently.

“I …love you…too. Devilish..man?” he posed, uncertain.

“That’s right.”

Matt signed back,  moving slowly.

“I.. love you too. Little Hell…hound. ” He mouthed, signing the term of endearment perfectly.

You smiled again, taking his offered hand as he helped you settle down in the tub, the carnations parting like the red sea. Kneeling beside the bathtub as you sank down into the water, he reached for your shampoo. You dove under for a moment to wet your hair, red streams from your makeup falling down into the abyss.

“You’ll need a little more than that. ” you said, seeing the small amount of shampoo he had placed in his hand.

Your hair had grown out a bit, the long side and back now touching the middle of your shoulder blades. You kept the right side of your head shorn short, but you could now part it so it appeared even on both sides, if you desired to. You sank even lower into the tub as Matt’s calloused hands worked into your hair, washing the sweat and tears from the night before away. You hummed in contentment as he moved, taking extra care.

“I’m going to become spoiled if you keep this up, Matt.” you mumbled, relaxed. You went beneath the water once more to rinse out your hair.

“Well, if that’s the case then you will be absolutely decayed by the time today is over. Are we feeling more feminine or neutral today?”

“The first one.”

You felt heat creep across your face; you always felt more effeminate when he took care of you. You always felt feminine in a sense, because that is what you had grown up as- and had existed as for twenty-three years until you figured it out.  But you never truly felt like a woman, either. You had never wanted to be confined to a gender or a societal role. You had felt insecure when you had explained it to Matthew, even though he was fully accepting of you being non-binary.

“I’m going to grab you some clothes for our next activity, if that’s okay?”

You nodded, thankful he always granted you the space to choose. Matt stood, kissing your wet hair and leaving you to bathe in peace. Thor jumped up on the edge of the tub as soon as Matt left to keep you company, tail swishing just above the water.

Walking into your closet, Matt felt the rows of jeans, leggings, and riding pants, searching for a particular pair. He found them, pairing them with what he hoped was a black shirt. He set them aside, looking for your boots and another set of clothes for after your ride. Matthew was determined that you would get to do all of your favorite things today. He laid them out on top of your dresser, and sat down on your bed to wait for you. Several minutes later, you emerged, drying your hair with your towel. Matthew took the opportunity to pick you up while your eyes were covered.

“MATT!” you squealed, laughing as he set you down on the bed, the towel for your hair forgotten and the one wrapped around your body open and beneath you now. He kissed you lightly, groaning into your mouth as you retaliated, growing more fervent in your need to have him closer. Your breathing grew heavier as his mouth moved from yours and down onto your neck to bite you gently, tongue flicking across the flesh to soothe the ache. You smelled like you always did, but the intensity was higher from the scented water. It was driving him mad; he had to have you. He could not stand another minute without touching you. Matthew traveled even further down, hands roaming over your sides, gliding over your tattoos and scars, your desire escalating by the moment.

“Don’t start something you won’t finish Matt.” you breathed, feeling his hands slide over your thighs.

“Who says I won’t finish you? If you want it. Today is about you- I couldn’t care less if i got off.”

You had taken off the leather band that you wore as a stand in for a collar; it was Matt’s indication that consent was given. If you didn’t have it on, whether it was simply to shower or whether you were not in a good headspace, he would ask. Sometimes he still did, even when you wore it.

“Please.”

The devil grinned, placing his lips on the scars inside your thighs. He always remembered the night that you had shown them to him, that you had told him that they were self-inflicted from many years prior. He wanted to ensure that you never felt that way again, not if he could prevent it.

You let out a small, delicious gasp as his fingers made contact between your legs, pressing just hard enough and going achingly slow. He loved making you react beneath him and hearing every small, breathy sound he could draw out of you.  His free hand wrapped around your throat, and that's all it took for you to be gone. You arched against his hand as his fingers slid inside you, his sinfully gifted tongue replacing the pressure on your clit. You whimpered as his grip tightened on the side of your throat, and you swore you felt him smile against you with the small amount of coherence you had left.  Matt knew exactly what he was doing when he added a third finger inside you, curving them upward and moving his mouth on you even faster. Your thighs began to tremble, the soft, airy sound of you moaning becoming more frequent.  He chased after your release, knowing it would happen any moment as your heart rate continued to climb.  Your hands gripped at the one around your throat; you were right on the edge, trying so hard not to writhe too much and be good for him. The heat seared up your legs, making its way to the center of your being.

"Please, Matthew."  You pleaded, verging on a sob.

You only remembered a few words when you slipped into this headspace, yes, no, and the safe word being of the utmost importance. But you always remembered please and his name. Hearing you moan his full name as you begged almost sent him over the edge, right then and there. Between that, your scent, the sounds you were making, and the way you tasted? It was a wonder his sweats weren't coated in him already.  He swapped his tongue for his thumb once more, but only for a moment to speak.

"You don't have to beg, not for me. Whenever you feel it, just let it happen."

That was all you needed-was his permission. You contracted around his fingers, shaking and coming with a low, lingering moan. Matt went to release your throat, but your hands stopped him, silently appealing to him to keep it there. He loosened his grip instead, kissing you between your thighs and making you jump as he withdrew his fingers. Matt came to hover above you, meeting your mouth with his own. You could taste yourself on his lips and it only made you whine in response. Matt reached for your  hand, interlacing his fingers with yours and giving you a reassuring squeeze. He untangled his fingers, tapping into your palm three times.

You are safe. I love you. Are you okay?

He hovered his hand above yours, awaiting your answer. You tapped up thrice in reply. If the number was the same, that meant you were alright. If it was less, something was wrong. You had come up with this system in the event that you went completely non-verbal and could not give the safe word.  You checked on each other periodically, and you loved that he always put your comfort above all else. Your hands ran down his chest, fingers dancing across his own scars. His eyes rolled back slightly at your touch, and he let out another groan into your mouth as they descended. Your hands pulled at the waist of his pants; you wanted him inside of you.

"Please." You said again, desperate against his mouth.

"You can have anything you want." He replied, pulling away to strip down, making sure to trail his hand down the length of your body before doing so.

You were so soft when you were like this, and God he loved it.  All the defenses you had were set aside, and you were no longer hidden behind your walls. He settled against the padded headboard, making the rings that were attached to the frame clink against the wood. The thought of tying your arms to them while he moved up into you crossed his mind. Another day, perhaps. He knew how tactile you were, and today was your birthday, unofficially or not. He wouldn't restrain you right now, even though he knew you would enjoy it. There wasn't enough time for that.

You had sat up on your knees, waiting for Matt to tell you it was alright to proceed. You respected his space as well, knowing that he could become overstimulated in the worst way if you moved too quickly.

"Come here, sweetheart."

You moved, wrapping your legs around him and hovering above his lap- he had not given you his consent. Your head tilted backwards slightly, going with the motion of Matt's hand as his fingers grasped your hair from the behind. You let out a small hmm as he sucked at the hollow of your neck, claiming you and marking you as his. 

"Take what you want."

As much as Matt liked being dominant, he liked to relinquish control in varying degrees on occasion. Sometimes that meant the role was reversed and you dominated him, and sometimes it meant that he would lay back and let you use him.

A small, sharp exhale escaped your mouth as you started to descend down onto him. The same sound you made whenever he buried himself in you.  It didn't matter what position it was, it always happened. He breathed out as you met the base of him, becoming fully sheathed in you. And then you began to move your body. Matt's free hand took hold of your hip, moving with  every roll and rise of you on his cock. Normally, you had at least ten minutes of stamina before you became overly sensitive , but you had slipped into sub space so quickly today. Matt knew it was only a matter of when, not if. The feeling of you wrapped around him was something ethereal in and of itself. Soon, he felt your pace falter as you grew tired and overstimulated. 

"You're doing so well, let me take over. Let me take care of you. " He praised, and you nodded, moving your hands from his shoulders to the top of the headboard.

Riding Matt was one experience, but having him fuck you from underneath? It was a sinful feeling, but you reveled in it. It was the only way that you could finish from penetration alone, and Matt took full advantage of that information. He knew the exact depth, rhythm, and force it would take to make you orgasm again. His pleasure was derived from yours, and he wanted to do everything in his power to make you feel good. His hand was still in your hair,not pulling as hard as before. You moaned, feeling his length slide against you in just the right way.

"There it is."

He smirked, placing his mouth on your chest and putting his hand around your throat again. He wanted to feel your pulse, not just hear it. His low groans mixed with your quiet, breathy ones as he felt himself growing nearer. He moved his hips upward even harder and the sound you made in response was angelic; a sound he knew only he could pull from you. You bit your lip, feeling vulnerable and trying to be quieter as your volume grew slightly.

"No, I want to hear you, please." He said, hearing your heart galloping in your chest.

You would finish before him, he knew that much.

"One more, give me one more, little hellhound."

 Your arms wrapped around him, nails digging into his back as you came around him, his name on your lips. He released your hair, wanting to look at you, in the only way he could, as he crested over his own wave. Matthews hips stuttered, thighs trembling as he poured into you, moaning at the feeling. His grip on your throat released, and his hand now rested at the base of your neck, as your hand now rested on his. That was how you grounded each other in many situations.

You collapsed against him, burying your head on the opposite side of your hand. You were breathing hard, the air coming and going in harsh pants. Matt ran his fingers lightly across the skin of your back, tracing over your tattoos, trying to get you to come back down. It took a little longer than usual, but he was fine with that. You could take as long as you needed and he would stay without complaint. Soon, your breathing became deeper, and you nuzzled up against the back of his jaw.

"There's my good girl.."

"Hi." You said timidly, looking up at Matt.

"Hi," Matt whispered back, placing a kiss on your forehead, "Are you with me?"

"I'm more than okay, I swear."

You meant it, and he knew that. You couldn't lie to him, even if you wanted to.

A sly smirk crept across his face.

"I think we both need another shower."

You touched your lips to his, smiling against his mouth.

"I think you might be right, counselor."

…………………………………………

"Did you pick this pair because they make my ass look good or what?" You teased, turning to face Matt. He rode beside you on Yvaine, with Foggy and Karen on Ashoka and Kylo behind you. You were riding early, just as the sun had begun to rise, your breath coming out in heated clouds against the cold air.

"No, I picked them because they're red, your favorite color."

"Our favorite color," you corrected, steering Tristan to the right of the trail. " How do you even know they're red?"

"Because you told me they were. I remembered which pair it was because of the embroidery on the side of the leg."

That was true, there was an intricate design of filigree down the seam of the thigh. Curse him for his attention to detail.

"And it may also have to do with the fact that they make your ass look pristine." He admitted, laughing quietly.

"Can we go faster?" Foggy asked, catching up to you and Matt. The chestnut Paint mare he sat atop tossed her head, almost in agreement.

"I don't know, can we? Are you ready for that Foggy?"

"I think I was born ready."

"That's what you said last week when they knocked you into the dirt, Fog." Karen chimed in, pulling up beside him.

"Listen, I just wasn't ready, that's all. Sword fighting is an advanced art."

“Keep telling yourself that buddy.” Matt added, reaching over to put his hand on your thigh. 

You smiled, loving how much he wanted to have contact with you all the time. You were both so touch starved from months and years of holding people at an arm's length. 

“I love you.” You whispered, so quietly that only Matthew could hear you.

He turned towards you.

“I know, sweetheart.” he grinned, leaning over to kiss you in the winter air. 

You reciprocated in kind, connecting your lips with Matt’s, getting caught up in the moment.

“Get a room you two!” Foggy jabbed playfully, looking at Karen who’s smile reflected his own.

 Truthfully, it brought him an immense amount of happiness to see his best friend full of joy. Matt had been solemn for weeks, and a month after they had buried Elektra, you had walked into his life. That was six months ago, and Foggy had been ecstatic to hear that you two had finally figured out that you had feelings for each other.

Other than the rampant denial and the rough start with Karen, everything had been great. Karen and you had become pretty close over time. She saw that you truly cared for Matt, and even though he had hurt her, she still wanted him to be happy. You had called her out for not even giving Matt a chance to explain, while also calling out his lack of communication during the Frank Castle case. There was wrong doing on both sides, but it was nothing close to black and white.

Matt’s hand shot out to rebalance you as you started to fall out of the saddle. This resulted in you knocking your helmet into his, ending in a fit of laughter from everyone involved.

“How fortunate for you I was here to catch you.” Matt said, amusement painting his voice.

“It’s not my fault you made me lightheaded. And I wasn’t going to fall.”

“I know. I would never allow it.”

A witty, heartful reply fell dormant on your lips as an alarm on Karen’s phone went off.

“Matt.” she warned, a knowing smile spreading across her face. “We should head back, it’s almost time.”

He nodded, turning Yvaine around to head back to the barn.

“Where? What are you all talking about?”

“Oh, nothing. Just  come on.” Karen replied, turning her horse alongside Foggy.

You sighed, shaking your head.

“I may not have enhanced hearing, but that sounds like a lie.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Matt, why am I not allowed to  know anything? It’s making me anxious.”

Matt reached over, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.  He paused, turning toward you, tilting your chin up towards him.

“I know it is, and I’m sorry. I swear to you that you have nothing to be anxious about. Can you trust me on that?”

You exhaled deeply, placing your hand against his chest.

“I trust you, Matt Murdock, with my life.” you said after a moment, leaning into the hand that caressed your face.

“Oh, you do, huh?” he mused, smirking as you pressed him against the brick of the closest building.

“Don’t be reticent, Counselor. I would never lie to you.”

Matt laughed, taking your hand and leading you back onto the walkway.

“You couldn’t even if you tried. Close your eyes, we’re almost there.”

Matt could hear the hum of the tattoo machines and smell the ink, even from a block away.

“You want me to close my eyes and walk? That’s very much the blind leading the blind, devilish man. ”

You took his arm, and allowed Matthew to lead you. You perked up the minute he opened the door to the shop. You knew where you were immediately.

“You can open them now.”

“I already know where I am. Are you getting a tattoo?” you inquired, finally opening your eyes to the brocade wallpaper you knew so well. You had been trying to convince Matt to get a tattoo for months, even offered to design it but he always said it was too risky. Tattoos were to recognizable if they were seen. You had argued that you had many tattoos, but you also had them before you decided to become a vigilante; well, most of them. Your newest one had been for Danielle, and you had been itching for another to add to your collection of art on your skin.

“No, but you are. You can get anything you want, it’s already paid for.”

“Matt, this is too much I can’t…”

Your voice faded as you saw Serena running towards you. She embraced you, squealing with delight at seeing you. She had been adorning your body for years, and you were one of her favorite clients.

“I don’t usually do this, but it’s your un-birthday, so I’ve been told. What were you thinking darling?” she asked,  raising her brows in excitement.

“Oh, um. Well, I haven’t really had time to think about it. Give me just a minute?”

Serena nodded, leaving to go clean her station and get ready for your session.

You turned back to Matthew,  who had already taken a seat to wait for you. You flopped down beside him, staring at him expectantly.

“I want you to pick it. ”

“Excuse me? No, it’s your body. What if you hate what I pick?”

You scoffed, running your hand through his hair.

“As long as it's not a bible verse or a cross I think I’ll be alright. Please? It’s my birthday, and you did say I could have whatever I wanted.”

Matt sighed, conceding that he had, in fact, declared that this morning. You both stood, and you led Matt over to Serena’s booth. You explained to her that you wanted him to choose the design, and she sent you away to go sit while they discussed. After several minutes, Matt came to get you.

“What did you decide on? ”

Matt tsked, sitting down at the head of the table you would be laying down on.

“You said you trusted me, so that’s a surprise too. ”

“Alright, let me see those thick ass thighs babe.” Serena interjected, snapping on a pair of gloves and opening a fresh needle.

“Oh, so I don’t get to see it and I don’t get to choose the placement either? Interesting.”

You slid off your pants, grateful that Matt had chosen a looser pair for you to change into after your ride. You were also grateful that you had worn underwear with more coverage today, given that you were now half naked.

"Which leg do you want, Serena?"

"The left one. Lay on your back and put your left foot against your other leg. That's it."  She encouraged you as you followed instructions. 

"Now relax and talk to this gorgeous man you have conveniently forgotten to tell me about."

You rolled your eyes and felt the cold of the alcohol as she disinfected your leg, laying back and reaching for Matthew’s hand. You leaned forward a little bit as you felt the design being placed on your leg. It was to the inside of your thigh, perpendicular to your knee, and right above the scars you had made.

“Hey, no peeking! You'll ruin the surprise.” Serena slapped your calf, leaving a sting behind.

Your head turned immediately back toward Matt, face heating in embarrassment at being caught.

"You just can't help yourself can you?" Matt teased, brushing a strand of hair from your eyes.

You shook your head.

"Serena can we put on some music?"

"Yeah, I have an echo, just tell it what you want."

You thought for a moment, and then asked it to open Spotify and play your go to playlist that Serena had made for you over the years.

A string quartet version of Helena filled the small booth, and you hummed along as you heard the compressor turn on.

“I hope it’s a pony. I do love those.” you joked, inhaling sharply and squeezing his hand as you felt the needle make contact with your skin.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but it isn’t.”

Within minutes you settled into it, the constant in and out therapeutic in its own way.

“So what else do we have to do today, counselor?” your voice was low, sleepy almost.

“I only have two more things planned, I promise. Are you… falling asleep?”

Your eyes were sliding shut around the thirty minute mark, between the white noise, Matt playing with your hair, and the music it wouldn’t be hard for you to go to sleep.

“They slept through the entire last half of their back tattoo, so it wouldn’t be surprising if they did. ” Serena remarked, dipping into her ink again.

“The moon phases? On your spine? You slept through that?” he asked, shocked.

“Mhmm, I sure did. Should I even go to sleep? Or do you think you’ll be done within the hour? The design didn’t look big. ”

“I just need to shade, so maybe another forty-five minutes tops?”

You decided to stay awake, opting to continue to guess what else Matt had planned for you.

Everything you could think of, Matt denied.

“This isn’t fair, I can't tell when you’re lying.” you mumbled, somewhat affronted.

“That’s the fun part, sweetheart.”

You breathed out harshly as you felt the sting of the shader needle placed against you for what felt like the thousandth time. The next twenty minutes went by and you fought everything in you not to peek, hissing through your teeth as Serena wiped the excess ink away over and over. Eventually, it was over and Serena cleaned your new addition, placing a sheet of Saniderm across it after she took a photo for her portfolio.

“Okay you can look now. Handled it like a champ, as always.”

You sat up and looked down, confused at first by the dots that faded from black to red. Your head tilted, trying to get a better look. Serena looked at Matt, whose focus was entirely on you.

You realized that it was in braille, so you shut your eyes, running your fingers lightly over the tender flesh. You had been more successful in trying to remember what each combination of braille cells if you weren’t looking.

 ⠎⠞⠁⠽  ⠁⠇⠊⠧⠑

“S….T.. Stay. Stay….A…L…I… Stay Alive? ”

You felt the burn of tears beneath your lids as your eyes stayed closed.The tear that escaped barely had time to run down your cheek  before Matthews hand was on your face, brushing it away with his thumb.  Matt placed his hand on the side of your throat, trying to gauge your reaction. He placed his forehead to yours as he felt your hand find purchase on his arm.

“Do you like it?” he whispered, tasting the salt of your tears in the air.

You nodded fervently, smiling and giving a breathy laugh. Matthew couldn’t have picked a better tattoo for you. It was a gentle reminder of him, and it was also a line from a song that had saved your life, countless times. A song you had cried so hard to last night at Madison Square Garden.

“I love it, Matt. Truly.” You cried,pressing your lips against him. You increased the intensity of the kiss, tongue sliding against his…and then remembered you were in public when Serena reappeared at the door way.

“You two are absolutely adorable. Put on your jacket and your pants, get out of here, and go have a very merry un-birthday darling.”

You stood, reaching for your pants and sliding them on, wincing as the fabric grazed your skin. Thanking Serena and the girl at the desk after you had tipped her, you left the shop and made your way back to the obnoxiously far spot Matt had made you park in so you couldn’t see the tattoo shop. Settling in behind the wheel, you reached for Matt again. You pulled him against you, mouth colliding once again. It was all push and pull, like the gravitational waves of the ocean and the moon. His hand gripped onto your thigh, and you were relieved that it was the left one that was tattooed as his fingers sunk into your skin through your jeans. You moaned against his mouth as his other hand found its way around your throat. You could have him right now, and you wouldn’t care that you were in public. Another alarm went off on Matt’s phone and he broke away from you, leaving your breathing heavy and and ache between your thighs that had nothing to do with your new tattoo. Matt caught the scent of your arousal in the small space, imprinting on the front of his mind, and God if he didn’t want to take you, right then and there.

“We have to make a pit stop at the office.” Matt said, straightening up his jacket.

“What for?” you panted, a devious grin crossing your lips.

“The tickets for the last thing are in my desk. I put them there so I wouldn't lose them.”

“Uh, huh. Sure. You realize you can’t bite or grab my left thigh for weeks, right?”

He smirked, chuckling to himself.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing you have two, isn’t it?”

Shifting the car into gear, you drove across town to Nelson and Murdock.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

As Matt turned the lock to the office, your suspicion grew.

“You’re up to something, I know it.”

“Now what makes you say that?” he smirked, opening the door. You reached for the light switch, flipping it on.

“Surprise!”

Foggy, Karen, Alexandria, and Rhiannon’s voices shouted simultaneously.

“How long did you think you could hide this from me?”

Matthew shrugged.

“Long enough?”

You shook your head, smiling as you made your way across the floor to meet a running Rhiannon.

“Happy Birthday Auntie!” Rhiannon exclaimed, rubbing her nose against yours in greeting; it was something you had done with her since she was little. You picked her up, turning back to Matt.

“Thank you sweet bean. Matt, I told you I did not want a whole big party.”

“In my defense, I would not call this big.”

“Objection, it was my idea. ” Karen said, coming over to place a small gift in your hand.

“It’s not a lot, but I know you liked it when you saw it when we went out last week.”

“Karen, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

You set Rhiannon down, who then jumped on Matt. You adored that she loved him, sometimes thinking that she may love him more than she loved you. Pulling the drawstring of the small chiffon bag open, you reached inside. Your hand came back with a small, thin leather choker. A silver ring at its center, adorned with a crescent moon. Two lines of chain came together beneath the charm from either side of the choker, holding a small black crystal.

“Karen this is… thank you.” you stuttered, immediately putting it on.

Karen hugged you tightly, saying that it was really no problem.

“Yeah , okay so she got you a pretty necklace, but I would argue that mine is way cooler.” Foggy interjected, handing you an unwrapped amazon package when Karen and you broke apart.

“I didn’t have time to wrap it, sorry.” he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

“Last minute?” you asked, tearing open the box.

“Yep.”

“Gotta love prime shipping.”

You finally got through all the unnecessary packaging, revealing what Foggy had gotten you.

“Is this what I think it is?”

A mischievous grin crossed his face.

“Yeah! I got one too!”

You pulled out the sheath, making sure the strap that went across your body fit. It was designed so that your sword could be pulled from behind you when it was drawn.

“Come here you giant nerd.”

You pulled Foggy into a hug, telling him that you would both definitely be using them the next time he came over to practice.

“Me next! ME NEXT!” Rhiannon squealed, squirming out of Matt’s arms and bolting toward a bag that her mother held. She held it out to you, bag swinging with the abruptness of her movements. You crouched down to take it from her, all the while she was practically vibrating with delight.

“Okay, okay. Let me see what you got me.” you made eye contact with Alex, knowing full well that Rhiannon may have had the idea, but she certainly did not pay for it.

Reaching in the bag, you felt…velvet? You stood, bringing the object upwards with you ; A dress unfurled in your hands. The long sleeves of the dress were a dark blue mesh that matched the silk, the neckline coming together in a wide V on the structured bodice. The sides of the dress were black, acentuating the curve of the wearer in soft velvet.  The lower half of the dress was smooth, splitting into two separate pieces so your legs could be seen. Very few times in your life were you actually speechless, and this was one of them.

“It’s the dress from Stardust! Well, not exactly, but very close! We saw it and thought that you had to have it! Go try it on!”

You looked around the room at all the people that loved you, trying very hard to hold back tears. Matt gave you an encouraging nod towards his office. You almost sprinted, screaming internally. You had wanted that dress for years, but this one was a nod to it and it was much closer to something you would actually wear.

“Matt?” you called out, struggling with the back zipper.

 A few moments later, he opened the door just enough for him to get in, shutting it behind him.

“Yes- holy…wow. You look amazing.”

He was so caught off guard, and even though he could not see every detail of the dress, he could make out the basic shape of it against your body. He knew you looked absolutely beautiful, and that he would think that, even if you were in a hoodie and sweatpants.

“Too bad I don’t have better shoes to go with it. ” You said, looking down at your beat up knee high boots.

“No one is looking at your feet, trust me. And you wearing combat boots with a dress is very much you, Sweetheart.”

Matt decided it would be best to rejoin your friends before he ripped your brand new dress off your body. Grabbing the tickets for his final gift of the evening, you re-entered the main interior of the office. 

Foggy stood, holding onto a cake that he had shoved twenty-eight candles onto.

“Please dear gods, don’t sing. We might set off the fire alarm if we wait that long for me to  blow them out. There’s more fire than cake at this point!” you laughed, leaning to extinguish the flames.

“WAIT! Don't forget to make a wish!” Rhiannon bounced up and down, making sure to be heard.

You contemplated, trying to decide what to wish for. After a few moments, you blew out your candles, finally able to see the cake. It was a horrendously frosted cake, decorated with moons, stars, and covered in edible glitter.

“I’m sensing a theme here guys.”

“I made it. I’m sorry it’s not very good. Karen helped with the actual baking part.” Matt mumbled, sidling up next to you.

You just smiled, shaking your head.

“It’s perfect. I love it.”

“I have one more gift for you, but you might want to sit down for it.” Alex finally said.

“Why would I need to sit down? Don’t tell me you’re  declaring your love for me and proposing after twelve years of friendship?”

“Sit down you idiot.”

“Fine, fine.” you threw your hands up in mocking surrender and moved over to Karen’s desk chair.

Matt followed you,  knowing exactly what was about to happen.

“So, I did a little bit of work and I made you this. I had Gavin polish it though so it sounds good.” Alexandria explained, pulling out her phone.

Your head tilted, confused. She pressed the screen after scrolling to find what she was looking for.  She set the phone on the desk, a soft piano tune accompanied by a cello filled the space. It didn’t take you long to recognize the tune. A laugh that could not be completely erased from the recording escaped the speaker.

“Is that?”

Your tear filled eyes met Alex’s, who only nodded.

Danielle. It was a recording of her playing the song on her cello. An entire minute passed and then the vocals began.

“La la lu, la la lu

Oh, my little star sweeper

I'll sweep the stardust for you”

Your mother’s soothing voice joined the instrumental and you finally let yourself cry. It was your Mother’s favorite song to sing to you when you were small, and even when you had grown, she pulled it out in times of sadness and heartbreak. You had sung it to Rhiannon when she was a baby to help put her to sleep. Alex’s arm wrapped around you; you were both crying now.

“I love you so much.”

“No, I love you.” you shot back, holding her even tighter.

The song ended, and still you did not release Alex.

“Bitch, you made me cry in front of everyone.” you sniffled, laughing to cover up your bittersweet emotions.

“Jerk, you made me cry because you’re crying. Let go of me or you're going to be late.”

Alexandria pulled away, taking your hands and placing them in Matt’s.

“One more gift, and then there’s no more surprises.”

You raised a brow, still not quite sure if he was telling the truth.

“For real this time?”

“For real this time,  I promise.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

You radiated with excitement as you took your seat beside Matt. His hand took its usual resting place on your thigh, his skin warm against the chill of the orchestra hall. He had gotten the tickets to Fantasy In Strings last month, well before any of the rest of today had been planned. Matt knew that this would have been more than enough for you, but he felt like you deserved more, given how your twenty-seventh birthday had gone. Matthew wanted nothing more than for this version of your birthday to be everything you desired.

“Thank you for today, Matt. I have loved every moment of it, almost as much as I love you.” You whispered as the curtain raised.

“Then I guess I’ve done something right, because from what you tell me, you love me a lot.”

Matt grazed his mouth against yours, pulling away when he heard the first note of the violin.

He felt the bare flesh of your thigh rise against his hand at the crescendo of music filling the hall. You had told him once that not everyone experienced frisson when they heard music, but people that did had a tendency to feel emotions on a more intense level. You were smiling, eyes closed and more than content to be there, listening to the orchestra with Matthew beside you. It wouldn’t last forever, but for the next hour, you had this small sliver of peace.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

“I swear to your god if you drop me Matthew!” You shrieked as Matt turned sideways to get through the doorway of his apartment. He had vehemently insisted on carrying you up the stairs, and you knew even Matt would be tired by the time you got up there.

“Listen if I can carry Frank Castle up a hill, I can carry you to my bed.”

“Oh, really?  Are we going to finish what we started in the car earlier?” you said, suggestion heavy in your tone.

Matt tossed you onto the mattress, crawling to hover above you.

“Maybe.”

He gave you his best lopsided grin, his dimple appearing on the side of his cheek. You grabbed a hold of his tie, pulling him gently downward.

“You’re too far away, Matthew.”

Your mouths connected, soft and intimate. Matt could be rough, but he could also be so gentle with you and it was one of his many attributes that you loved about him. You reached downward, gripping onto his ass, just because you could. Matt sighed, breaking away from you.

“We should get ready, sweetheart. We can definitely finish this when we get home.”

You sat up, pouting momentarily before concluding that he was right. He removed his jacket, shirt, and tie, tossing them aside, leaving his bare chest for you to gaze at. You somehow managed to reach your zipper, dropping the dress to the floor, much like you had dropped your robe the first time you and Matt had been physically intimate. His mouth opened and then closed again. You were standing there in nothing but your underclothes and boots.

“If you’re going to be a tease, I’ll just have to make you suffer for it.” you turned on your heel, heading for the daredevil trunk in the living room closet. You kept a set of your vigilante clothes here with his , just so you had them regardless of where you were. You had just opened the door when you heard Matt’s footsteps catch up to you, arm wrapping around your body and pulling you against him. He sank his teeth into the side of your neck, eliciting a soft moan in response as he kissed the pain away.

“You’re not playing fair, and I’ll make sure you remember why you shouldn’t do that when we get home.” he growled, lower in his register.

“You swear?” you breathed, turning to meet Matt’s impossibly intense stare.

“Would I lie to you?” he smirked.

#matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock x reader #shedaresthedevil #matt murdock fic #daredevil fic #marvel #send help #send requests #matt murdock fluff

[ijustlikebnhaandbakugou]

Bakugo x Self-harming Reader One-shot

Since it's Bakugo's birthday, I thought I would post something Bakugo related. This is my original fic, so please no stealing! Ask me if you would like to post this elsewhere, reblogs are welcomed!

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Bakugo x Gender Neutral Reader

⚠️Self-harming reader⚠️

This fic is:

•Hurt/Comfort

•Fluff

•Light Angst Fanfiction :〕

⚠️Reader Discretion Advised!⚠️

This fic contains sensitive and triggering subjects such as:

⚠️ S#lf-h@rm, S#lf-H@rm Sc@rs, Anx!ety, Depre$$ion, Suggested M#ntally Ab*sive P@rents, Kn!ves, and P@nic Att@cks⚠️

(This fic also contains c*ssing, since well… Bakugo, though it is slightly censored)

Please read with Caution. If you are uncomfortable or get triggered by any of the above, please scroll away!

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Bakugo was walking down the hall toward his dorm after hanging out with the gang of idiots who he called his friends

Yes, Bakugo did in fact, consider those bumbling buffoons his friends, though he would never admit it out loud, deep down Bakugo cared for and loved those dimwitted idiots

No matter how silly or stupid their antics were!

They were some of the first people to see and accept him for who he is and not who he was trying to be, aside from Deku of course!

Dunce Face, Sh!tty Hair, Raccoon eyes, and Tape Face, were all his friends and he wouldn't change them for the world! 

Bakugo was snapped out of his thoughts of his friends by a consistent mumbling coming from a dorm room up ahead

As Bakugo walked closer to the sound he noticed that a door was cracked open an inch or two allowing a faint light to shine on the floor in the otherwise dim hallway

As he passed by the door he caught a glimpse of you standing by your bed staring at something on the opposite side of the room, causing him to pause his step

Normally Bakugo wouldn't poke his head into other people's private business but something made him stop and quietly creep over to your door and peek inside your room through the crack in your door

He didn't know what it was exactly, he just kind of had this nagging feeling in his gut and the back of his mind telling him he should look into your room

So Bakugo stood there and peeked through your doorway and into your room and watched you

He saw that you were still standing by the bed staring at something on the opposite wall, but now he could see that you were staring at a shiny black thing on your dresser, he couldn't quite make out what it was

He watches as you slowly creep forward toward your dresser and he watches as you slowly reach for the object on your dresser, causing the sleeve of your shirt to roll down partly, and that's when he sees them…

Scars.

Starting at the lower part of your forearm and disappearing behind the rest of your sleeve, red and brown-ish colored marks littering your skin

Bakugo feels his heart drop and his breathe hitch when he realizes, upon further inspection, that they look to be self-inflicted

'But.. why? Why would you do that to yourself?' Bakugo asks in his mind as he looks up from your arm and to the thing you were reaching for on your dresser

And that's when Bakugo realized in horror what you were about to grab…

A knife.

You were about to grab a knife.

He watched you in terrified silence as you stared, hand stretched out, transfixed on the knife shaking your head as if to clear away the dark thoughts, that he knew, were creeping into your mind as you stared at the knife's silver blade

He needed to do something to stop you he needed move, but his body wasn't listening to him

'Move! Move! Move, come on! F@cking move!' He screamed at himself in his head

But he didn't.

No.

He couldn't.

He…couldn't move.

He couldn't move?

He couldn't move!

It was almost as if some awful, wicked, & terrible invisible force was keeping him in place, forcing him to watch the horrific sight before him

He sat there frozen and watched in a horrifyingly agonizing silence that seemed to drag on for hours….

'BZZZZZ! BZZZZZ! BZZZZZ!'

Just then, your phone went off, startling both of you and causing you both to jump, and Bakugo to bump his head on the door frame

Bakugo let out a sigh of relief, while rubbing the spot on his head that he had bumped, as he watched you walk over to your bed and pick up the phone, grateful for your distraction away from the sharp blade of the knife

Bakugo stood on the other side of the door trying to clear his head of the terrifying, fearful fog that had made its way into his mind and come up with a plan to confront you about what he just saw after you were off the phone

But Bakugo was soon disturbed from his thoughts when he heard you shouting on the other side of the door

He peeked back into your room to see you arguing with the person on the other side of the phone, tears began to trickle down your cheeks as you screamed into the phone

"I AM NOT USELESS!!!

AND I AM NOT A FAILURE MOM!!

I AM DOING MY BEST AND WORKING MY F@CKING HARDEST TO BECOME A HERO!

JUST WATCH I PROMISE I'LL MAKE YOU AND DAD THE PROUDEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD!!! "

You fall to your knees

"I promise, I will mom!"

You start to slightly shake

"I promise.."

You say tears falling and a desperate look of fire and determination with a hopeful smile on your face, hoping against all odds, despite her never saying so before, that your mom would say she believed in you and your dream, that she and your dad were already proud of you

But… all you hear is static coming from the other side before your mom's voice crackles through the phone, saying "there was no need to yell" and basically calling you "a walking disappointment" along with some other hurtful things

You talk to your mom for a few more minutes before hanging up the phone and hugging

knees and curling up into a ball, leaning against your bed, tears trickling down your face in a steady stream

You rock back and forth trying to comfort yourself and calm down from the exhausting and awful phone call with your mom

But as you do, a thought worms itself into your mind, creeping into the very farthest corner and settling itself there, before it begins to grow and spread covering your mind in a black darkness, you try your hardest to fight it off despite knowing that it will in the end anyway

And it does.

The thought wins.

That horrible, awful, wonderful, dark, thought wins

You look back towards your dresser, back towards the knife and its sharp and shiny silver blade, where it sits calling out to you beckoning you to come and grab its handle and use it, to drag it across your skin and make marks along your arms and legs

Bakugo watches you, eyes wide with a fearful horror as you get up from your place on the floor and walk over towards the dresser and pick up the knife and stare at it for a minute, before you begin to roll up the sleeves

And before he can register what he's doing Bakugo bursts through your door, startling you and causing you to almost drop the knife, as you whip around and face the person who had just barged into your room

But before you can identify the intruder, they rush forward and grab the knife out of your hand and slam it back down on your dresser

You look up at the towering figure, to see a spiky-haired ash-blonde staring down at you

Your eyes widen with even more panic than before as you realize who had just barged into your room and caught you with a knife in your hand about to harm yourself

"What the hell Y/n!?!?!" Bakugo yells at you

"What the f@ck were you thinking!? Damn it!"

You just stare at Bakugo mouth opening and closing uselessly like a fish out of water, you want to say something, give him some lame excuse, but nothing comes out, then suddenly you feel like you're about to be sick to your stomach…

You feel your head begin to spin, you feel as though you can't breathe, your body begins to shake uncontrollably, your chest begins to ache and you feel your heart rate go up

And you begin to freak out even more as you realize what's happening, you're having a panic attack.

In front of Bakugo.

You immediately drop to the floor and sit down, beginning to rock back and forth, while hugging yourself, whispering "no, no, no, no" over and over again

Your mind is now swirling with a jumble of thoughts that don't make much sense, it's like you have a bunch of puzzle pieces in your brain that just don't quite fit together

You begin gasping for breath and there's this awful feeling in your gut as if you're about to throw up, and your chest begins to hurt more

Your body is still shaking and you feel like you want to cry, scream, yell or maybe even just pass out! You're not sure, your brain is a pile of mush right now, you can't think straight,

let alone decipher what your feeling right now

In fact you can barely think at all right now with the way your mind is reeling!

Suddenly you feel warmth around your body and two strong hands on your back, hugging you loosely

You look up to see black fabric of a t-shirt in front of you and feel hot breath on your neck and ear, sending shivers down your already shaking spine, and you realize that it's Bakugo

You try to push him off, but he just hugs you tighter, causing you to kind of nuzzle into the crook of his neck and instead of panicking like you normally would, you instead feel safe and comforted

"I need you take a deep breath for me L/n" He says quietly into your ear

You feel one of his warm hands begin to rub your back gently trying to help you calm down

You try to steady your breathing and get your heart rate to go back down to normal and you try, even though it's kind of out of your control, to get the shaking to stop, but to no avail!

You're still gasping for air and your heart rate hasn't gone down and the shaking hasn't stop

You shake your head against his neck and shoulder

"I 'gasp' ca 'gasp' n't" You say between gasps for breath

After a few seconds you hear Bakugo sigh and feel him begin to shift and your afraid he's about to let you go and stop hugging you

But he doesn't, in fact he's still technically hugging and holding you, Bakugo had picked you up bridal style and was now carrying you over to your bed

He sits down on your bed and he leans against the wall, your head laying gently on his shoulder facing his neck, your legs are loosely wrapped around him and your chest is against his, you can feel his heartbeat and his steady breathes beneath you

"Alright, I need you to listen very carefully to me L/n" he says softly

You nod your head against his shoulder, not really able to give an audible answer at the moment as you're still gulping for air

"We are going to breathe together, alright? I want you to do your best at copying my movements" he whispers gently into your ear

"Ready?"

You nod your head against his shoulder again

"Okay, In…" You feel him take a deep breath in and you try to copy his movements, and surprisingly you're able to, shakily, do it

"Out…" he says releasing the air from his lungs

You shakily copy the movement

"Good" he says, "again, In…" he takes another deep breath in, and you do your best to copy him

"Out…" he says releasing the breath slowly, and you copy him in turn

You both sit there like that for a few more minutes, with him breathing and coaching you to copy him, and little by little you begin to breathe normally again, you feel your heart rate go down, your chest stops hurting and your mind stops racing

You close your eyes for a few seconds and nuzzle into his neck a little more, before peeling your head back and sitting up a little bit to look at his face

"I- Thank you, for doing that, for um helping me" you say

"Don't worry about it dumb@ss, I'm just glad that you're alright! Though you did nearly give me a heart attack earlier when I saw you reaching for that knife" he says chuckling dryly

Your face goes pale "Oh, That! That was, um, that was, sh!t, Bakugo-"

"Heheh, do worry about it right now idiot, we can talk about it later, for now you just relax" he says

Your eyes soften and you lay your head back against his shoulder nuzzling your face into his neck again and relax against him, allowing your body to kind of slump against his, and you wrap your legs around him a little tighter

Bakugo then rests his head on yours and wraps his arms around you a little tighter, closing his eyes and relaxing with you

You smile tiredly and close your eyes sighing in contentment as you sit there comfortably in Bakugo's arms

And you have no idea how long you've been sitting like that for when you feel Bakugo begin to shift, he releases his grip on you a little and lays you down in your bed, before quietly crawling over you and off your bed

You open your eyes to him walking towards your open door

"You're not leaving yet are you?" You ask your voice coming out surprisingly small

"No, I'm just closing the door" he says doing just that, before walking back your bed, and crawling over you and laying down next you

You roll over and smile at him, he gives you a tired half-smile back before yawning and wrapping his arms around you pulling you to his chest, rest his head on top of yours

"Goodnight dumb@ss" he says already beginning to drift off

"Goodnight Bakugo" you say nuzzling into his chest

And you both fall asleep like that, wrapped up in eachothers arms, nothing else mattered right now except that you had each other, everything else could wait until tomorrow

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

THE. END.

I hope you all enjoyed and found comfort of some sort in that!

Sorry for any typos or misspellings!

I have no beta reader, so I just try my best to read through and find them myself though I probably missed some, so sorry!

I also posted this fic on Ao3, Quotev, and Wattpad !

Wattpad: Tap the link, Here

Quotev: Come into contact with the link, Here

Ao3: Have the flesh of your fingertip come touch the glass film that has been named "screen" and press upon the technological equivilent of telportation to this piece of fan made literature on a different application on your browser, Here

Anyways! I hope you all have a wonderful day/ night!

Byee~ 🥰

#bakugo katuski #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo x you #bakugo x y/n #y/n l/n #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha #bnha #self-harm #panic attacks #crying #self-harm scars #bnha fluff #bakugou fluff #cuddles #breathing assistance #knives #happy birthday bakugou #boko no hero academia #cute #bakugou x you #gender neutral reader #bakugou x reader #happy birthday bakugo #bakugo's birthday

[buckmepapi]

Dissociation + Moonknight

disclaimer: this is a long post, I triggered myself slightly when talking about this and ended up going off on a tangent. There is discussions of ab*se, not in detail apart from one brief mention of a we*pon at the end, and also a brief mention of s*lf h*rm but other than that it is a discussion about people wanting to be just like Moonknight.

———————————————————————————

So, I’ve noticed some people on here and some others in marvel groups I’m in on Facebook recently commenting about wishing they had DID or another person in their mind to help them cope with the terrible things currently happening in their life.

I am not here to scold you, or aggressively condescend and talk down to you as someone who has trauma related disorders. I’m not here to make you feel ashamed for what can be seen as ‘normal’ thoughts when you see a show like this. However, please do be careful of what you say online in regards to mental illness, specifically trauma and dissociation. Those of us with these issues and disorders will see your posts, it is a very painful and invalidating for us to see what we perceive as people trying to romanticise and glorify our disorders. These disorders were born out of terrible, awful, scary things that have traumatised people for life, and should not be seen as anything but an unfortunate result of lifelong childhood trauma and not as a fun, “quirky” thing. It seems fun and stress free because you don’t actually have the said disorders and trauma so it is easy to play pretend when you can’t attach emotions and personal experience to it; when you actually do have these conditions it is not at all fun. It’s tiring both mentally and physically.

I do however understand the need and want to think this way at times because life is ultimately stressful for every single person on this planet; just existing is hard, but it is even harder for others who were forced to go through things as a kid that no child should ever have to go through. Life is even hard when you are a product of the brain dissociating from reality in order to protect itself.

Everyone at some point in their life has unknowingly activated their “auto-pilot” or “zoned out” brain function. For example; if you’ve ever been having a conversation with someone and completely spaced out part of what they’ve said to you, that is you subconsciously detaching from the current moment.

It’s a perfectly normal regular coping mechanism of the brain to be able to detach oneself from reality of the current situation in order to cling to something reassuring and avoid anxieties. Dissociation in general is normal, but when it starts to take over your entire life then it needs to be looked into by a professional.

In the case of DID, the traumatic event or events cause the self to fragment into a number of different selves, or alters. Some alters may be holding on to traumatic memories, while others are blocked from accessing these memories.

Dissociating often becomes the centre coping mechanism for traumatic experiences, anxiety, PTSD, or even depression. It can present unconsciously and will make you feel out of control of your own mind and body.

Dissociative Identity Disorder is not the only dissociative disorder, you can have DPDR - depersonalisation/derealisation disorder, and DDNOS (dissociative disorder not otherwise specified), amongst many others. The act of dissociation is also a symptom of many other mental illnesses, and sometimes in certain cases may not even be it’s own unique condition but rather a side effect of something else, for example BPD (borderline personality disorder).

It may seem really nice to be able to just “zone out” of stressful situations, but it really isn’t. You lose memories, you can’t trust your own mind, everything you remember is cloudy and foggy. I have very little recollection of my childhood, and what I do remember is mostly all negative. Mine started when I was roughly 11/12 years old. I came home one day crying from school when I experienced my first episode out of the blue with no warning ( I can not remember what triggered it, I can’t even remember how I got home, all I remember is the terrifying memory of laying on the floor at home) screaming that nothing was real and neither was I, I could see outside of my own body, I also couldn’t physically feel anything no matter how much I hurt myself, so in my mind this confirmed to me that my reality was not real and neither was I.

I spent the majority of my teen years fixating on this. Nobody ever explained to me what dissociation was or why it occurs. So, as an autistic person who struggled to identify what they were feeling and why to others, I couldn’t even explain it to myself, so I become obsessed with it. Because I was left untreated for so long, I kept telling myself none of this was real and neither was I, and because the dissociative episodes kept happening, in my mind it was solidifying it even further.

I genuinely believe, if someone had took the time to recognise what this was and talked to me, I wouldn’t have been as terrified, I would have learned to cope with it a lot younger and not fixated on something I couldn’t define so much, because a lot of the other trauma I have is from the episodes themselves, because they were utterly terrifying especially for an autistic child that doesn’t know how to say what’s going on.

I was told by my mother that it was normal to feel this way, that she use to be like that as a kid. Now as an adult I realise my mother was wrong, because my mother as I later learned during my own adulthood also had very severe childhood trauma, and what she was experiencing at my age, was not normal either and she should have gotten help at the time too.

For some reason, I would often have the worst catatonic episodes during school break. I would be unable to function for 2 and a half months and then entirety of summer. I wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t get up, I’d lay on the floor in the living room with a blanket and pillow and try to distract myself. It got to a point where I was so physically weak that I was underweight and I could not leave the home without weeks of planning and reassurance and an escort who had to let me hold on to them because I was so physically weak.

I am still not sure why at the time my worst dissociative moments occurred at summer time/break, I’m yet to discuss this weird set of foggy memories with my trauma therapist in a few weeks. Idk if something happened to me during summer one time that I don’t remember, or maybe it was just because the first episode roughly occurred around that time and was very traumatic so maybe that’s why that seasonal time was always a trigger for me thereafter. But it still doesn’t explain what triggered me the first time, because I still don’t remember.

I never got treatment for it, never got an explanation as to what it was and why, never had someone investigate and say “hold on, why is this 11 year old cutting themselves and dissociating surely somethings going on at home”, I got sent to neurology because I had a history of epilepsy as a child (also traumatic to go to sleep in your bed and then wake up connected to a monitor in hospital because you nearly died, which gave me enough trauma to give me a fear of sleeping to this day) so they believed it was a type of seizure or migraine, but they most certainly were not.

I started to understand at 18 by doing my own research as to what it was. But by this time, I dropped out of college twice because I couldn’t cope with dissociative episodes happening during class and feeling myself beginning to lose control of my body when I was trying to take notes. It’s only now at 25, after years of constantly being referred to CBT by lazy GP’s that I decided to speak to one of the CBT assessors on the phone. I mentioned to her that CBT doesn’t work for me, I’ve been doing it and counselling on and off since I was 13 years old and it would have worked by now. I plucked up the courage to say that it doesn’t get to the route of my problems, I admitted to her over the phone that I think I have unresolved childhood trauma from physical and mental abuse I suffered daily up until the age of 19 and that I need to speak to someone about that because that’s where all of my other problems are coming from.

And now, because I said that, I finally, after 2 years of waiting, have a trauma therapist who is doing EMDR with me.

I’ve only had 2 sessions with her and they’ve been introductions, dissociative tests, trauma tests, and some background into the neuroscience of it all, and even that has helped so much because I’m able to talk more about things even if we haven’t got to the actual trauma part in detail yet.

Having to cope with how terrifying it is to dissociate for some people, living with traumatic memories, avoiding triggers, still living with said abusers etc is not fucking worth being able to “zone out” when shits difficult. It’s not fun. At all. TV makes it seem fun and quirky because it’s TV land and you don’t have anything from your own life to identify with to understand, but my god I can not stress enough how “not fun” it is.

It is absolutely terrifying not recognising family members, “waking up” in a place you don’t even recall getting to, “waking up” mid sentence and not understand why words you’re not even saying are flowing out of your mouth, seeing yourself out of your body, not being able to feel anything physically, intense paranoia, night terrors, everything looking and feeling small and faraway, feeling like your floating and not actually tethered down, being beaten everyday, having someone run at you with a knife and press you against a wall. This is all shit I experience or have experienced - it’s different for everyone - but it is universally agreed that it is not fun.

Even when I think nothing has triggered me, my brain fucking dissociates anyway. I hate it. I hate it so goddamn fucking much. I’m always tired mentally and physically. I can’t do anything. I’m afraid and paranoid all the time, I avoid going outside in fear of it happening in public. I don’t want to let go or lose control around other people. I don’t like not having control.

Just please please be careful how you choose to cope with your current situation, maladaptive daydreaming can also be quite dangerous. Please try to think of others with these dissociative disorders before you say shit like this.

Do not even get me started on people on this site who literally pretend to have dissociative disorders.

It’s so goddamn hard and I’m so fucking tired.

#i think I just needed to get this off my chest #Moonknight #moon knight #marvel #mcu #mental health #dissocation #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative system #actually dissociative #dpdr #actually dpdr #trauma #trauma venting #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #ddnos #Marc spector #Steven grant #moonknight x reader #moon knight x reader #marc spector smut #steven grant x reader #Steven grant smut #Marc spector x reader #oscar issac #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan #𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓻 ╰✧ #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes

[moonlightwonie]

request rules

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

i do not write anything related to the following…

sc*t, feet, p*ss, v*mit, tentacles, incest, age play, s*lf h*rm, v*re, s*icide/m*rder/d*ath, pedophilia, eating disorders, idols that are minors, and idols that are deceased.

however, i am comfortable writing about the following…

fluff, angst, dark, sadism/masochism, degradation/praising, cnc, noncon/duncon, monster fucking, voyeurism/exhibitionism, impact play, knife play, breath play, biting, blood play, mommy/daddy kink, dominant & submissive, spit, pegging, bdsm, edging, breeding, pregnancy, hybrids, stepcest, anal, oral, tit fucking, crying/tears kink, hands/fingers kink, threesomes, polyamorous, skinny reader, chubby reader, f!reader, m!reader and more!

i mainly write aboot bg’s, but i am open to writing for gg’s if i’m asked to! some groups/soloists that i do write for are…

enhypen, nct, ateez, stray kids, monsta x, txt, bts, seventeen, got7, christian yu, woodz, and more misc idols.

if you would like for me to write about any specific kinks, fantasies, or idols that i did not list above, you can always just ask me and i’ll let you know if i’m comfortable with it or not. :)

ALSO, when suggesting/requesting a certain topic, kink, and/or idol don’t be afraid to be specific about what you’d like to see me write! the more detail the better hehe.

#rules #Spotify

[loulines]

The downside of therapy.

Triggers.

I've been doing better than I thought for a while. I could see some progress in some aspects, even if other aspects didn't change or got worse. But I believe there will be time for everything.

But yesterday I had another appointment, and I completely did not expect it to focus on the topic that was brought up. I mean... I did know that it would come up eventually but I was expecting the talk to go about stuff like my childhood or something.

And because of my imposter syndrome, I often believed I actually faked being triggered most of the time. But yeah no, yesterday proved to me that the things I claimed to be triggering me are indeed causing damage to my mental health upon mentioning.

Why am I writing this, btw? Simple, because I don't want to bother any of my friends in particular with this. And making it public makes me carefully pick my words so that's good.

Obviously for personal reasons I can't say what the trigger is about. But I spent half of my session talking about it because 1) I thought I needed to eventually and 2) because I love self-sabotaging myself and this is still unfortunately a form of mental s*lf-h*rm. And 3) I thought it wouldn't trigger me that much anymore because a lot of months have passed and see the impostor syndrome paragraph.

I started screaming in the car on my way home to release the anger. The last time I screamed in the car was right before my life crashed and burned. It's like poetry, it rhymes.

When I got home, all of my energy left me and I passed out before 9pm. I slept terribly because of the heatwave and because my mind was running. And when I woke up, I still felt triggered.

And now it's evening, and I'm trying not to lose my mind.

By now I know it will pass eventually. I'll be fine. My first therapy sessions were similar, I would usually feel like shit for the rest of the day but then I would notice some progress.

But I'm really close to spiraling. My old insecurities are back, the voice that I've managed to shut down for a few months is back and it's reminding me of the terrible reality in the worst, the most exaggerated way possible.

Several months ago I would've ended up with a mental breakdown that always aimed to burn everything behind me. Today I'm just letting myself cry and feel miserable while trying my hardest to stay rational. Because I know it will pass.

This is hard as fuck. But I will be fine.

#tumbleweed field

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Some Marvel characters have very fricked up lives. Murdered parent/s, abusive parent/s, dead friend, abandonment, betrayed by someone trusted, experimented on, forced to be a weapon, used and abused by the government or group they were with, s*xual assa*lt (or worse), stalkers, paranoia, nightmares, loss of a child, drug addiction, becoming an alcoholic, having mental/emotional/physical/s*xual/spiritual trauma, mind controlled to hurt someone, the list goes on...

We know a lot of them have gone through a lot of these. But what about their bby? So I present here a possible variant of their bby (the reader):

Traumatized!Reader: Someone who can understand the cruelty of the world, perhaps was cruel themselves, but strives to be the good they wished they desperately had when they were helpless. Some things that could have happened, maybe all of them have (a few of these have happened to me, or people I know):

TW: mentions of s*icide, a snake, and d*ath

• Attacked by two dogs on two separate occasions, without anyone able to help (one was a pitbull)

• Loss of a trusted/loved adult to cancer

• Being bullied

• S*lf-h*rm

• Having someone unwanted knocking at your door every day for weeks on end, demanding things

• Suffering paranoia due to the aforementioned unwanted someone

• Trauma from that someone and the years suffered putting up with their behavior

• Someone breaking into your house (or trying to)

• Witnessing someone having a stroke and calling an ambulance for them

• Being betrayed (and manipulated from a young age) by someone you saw as family (by blood or otherwise)

• Being ignored by your peers to the point of isolation

• Taking care of newborn animals (born that day/night) and having them pass away on you despite everything you did to help them

• Having to put a loved pet to sleep

• Almost being drowned at a young age by two of your peers (the adults weren't close by, and the other kids were too busy playing)

• Had to deal with a drug addict who was a loved one (blood or otherwise)

• Almost had a parental relationship ruined by that betraying loved one's meddling (it didn't work, but for three whole days thought life was over. wasn't even a teenager yet)

• Told the truth, but the adult/s believed the lie over the truth

• Religious trauma

• Mentally manipulated/abused

• Emotionally manipulated/abused

• Stopped a young child from touching a wild snake

• S**cidal th**ghts

• Finding a pet poisoned

• Over twenty nightmares of your own death (at least three-four were about drowning)

And remember: if someone hurts you, that is NOT OK. And that you are loved.

Any platonic yandere would be ready to help you if you suffered from trauma, and some wouldn't mind finishing whatever was started. Out of the ones I've mentioned, some would be more inclined to let them off with a warning; others would use their power/influence to screw with their lives; and some would simply get rid of the problem... PERMANATELY, I might add. They love you, and hearing that someone like you was hurt in such a way makes them sick. Some of them have experienced trauma, too, and finding out their bby has dealt with their own problems rubs them the wrong way... a few can even see why their bby is so kind (at least to them): Traumatized!bby knows what it is like to crave help, to crave love, for anyone to reach out and see them and TRY. Is it any wonder their bby turned out to be the kindest person they know? All because they want to be the help they wished they had when they were hurting.

🩹❤🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍💖🩹

#platonic yandere marvel #honeycomb thoughts #platonic yandere x reader #yandere platonic marvel #platonic yandere xmen #platonic yandere marvel x reader #yandere x-men #platonic yandere

[butterfleyequeen]

Sooooo I decided to stop being shy and show off my Pizza Tower OC, loosely inspired by the titular character from the 1970s sitcom "Alice" (and myself kinda). 👉👈

🍕��🍨 Story and other details under the cut (TW for mentions of ab*se and s*lf-h*rm)🍨🥤🍕

-Story-

Allison grew up under the care of her parents in the quiet suburbs. Her mom was decent, but her dad was emotionally negligent workaholic, leaving her mom to do the "dirty work" in raising her. He never really spoke to his daughter unless it was to put her to work in some way, and would verbally and emotionally abuse when she refused, instilling her with the sense that she was being an ungrateful, useless freeloader. It was so bad that as soon as she turned 18, fresh out of high school, she moved out and left her old life behind. But where was she going to get a job to support herself?

Cue the discovery of the Tower.

She was directed to a meeting with Pizzahead, who offered her a job as a waitress with a rotating shift between five different eating establishments throughout the week. He seemed affable enough, so she gladly accepted, only to find that she made a horrible mistake. Her boss was rude and dismissive of her, punished her for making mistakes, instilled her with the fear of having her tips taken away if she didn't do a well enough job, mocked her when she tried to express her feelings, and constantly dangled the fact that he didn't have to hire her over her head. Her only respite, since she didn't talk to her mom anymore, was the friends she made with the other denizens of the Tower during her time working there.

Then, a little over a year later, Peppino arrives.

-Personality-

She is very bright, hard-working, and kind to others. However, this worker-bee mentality is ultimately a trauma response, as it causes her to become unhealthily quiet, submissive, and reluctant to speak her mind. Another trauma response is when she apologizes profusely due to making a mistake, as she was often punished harshly for them. Over the years, she learned to keep her head down, her mouth shut, and not to expect anything. Peppino, Gus, and Brick have been working hard to get her out of her shell, but because of how extensive this emotional trauma is, it is going to take much time--and most importantly, patience.

-Relationships-

🍕Peppino Spaghetti🍝

Having met Fakey first, she didn't realize initially that this dude was the real deal. She was kind of scared of him at first knowing what he did to her friends and co-workers, as well as being scared of losing her job if she didn't do anything (cue boss concept). When they finally met, though, he was surprised by how young she was and didn't seem comfortable with causing her harm (and boy, he did not take kindly to finding out how horribly Pizzahead treated her). He was even nice enough to hire her after the Tower collapsed. Dude seriously took one look at this high school graduate and was like

👨‍🍳Gustavo and Brick (the Rat)🐭

She didn't really see them during Peppino's siege on the Tower, only after its collapse and her subsequent employment at Peppino's Pizza. They get along really well, and she absolutely adores Brick. The duo play a major role in helping Peppino wean her off of her trauma responses towards authority figures.

🌶Pepperman🎨

Saw him every once in a while during her Monday shift. Kind of put off by his narcissism, but admired his dedication to his work nonetheless. He eventually decided to thank her for her diligent service with a portrait of her in a Sailor Moon-esque pose (since he knew she was into magical-girl stuff), which currently hangs in the living room of her apartment.

🧀The Vigilante🐄

Saw him on occasion during her Tuesday (and sometimes Thursday) shift, when he stopped in for a drink. He greets her with a well-appreciated tip of the hat when he sees her, and seems to be very respectful and patient towards wait staff in general. What he doesn't tolerate, however, are people who don't respect their servers--even moreso, women. So needless to say, those few male customers who were brave enough to give the girl a passing spank on the ass in his vicinity won't be feeling inclined to come back. (*click*)

👅The Noise🔊

She's one of the few people he isn't a wily, insufferable prick to. Often saw him during her Wednesday shift while he was on break from filming. He likes to call her "Allie-Cat" and tips her quite handsomely.

🍞Noisette☕

Besties!! The two of them are really close and like to do girly stuff together on their time off, like painting each other's nails or baking sweets! In fact, out of all the places the young waitress had to work at in the Tower, Noisette's café was probably her favorite (her uniform made her feel hella cute too).

🫠Fake Peppino🧠

They met a few months into her employment at the Tower, when she stumbled upon his pizzeria after her Thursday shift one evening and explored it out of morbid curiosity. He scared her a little at first, but after getting to know him and his circumstances, she couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. She even tried to notify Pizzahead about the giant OSHA violation that her strange new friend occupied, but her plea fell on deaf ears and nothing was done--it was a dead establishment, after all. So in an attempt to make up for her helplessness, she figured that the least she could do was spend her free time every Thursday visiting the goofy goober to ease his loneliness. He really seemed to appreciate her gentle, down-to-earth presence. But once he found the solidarity they had in their abusive boss, however, it soon became clear that there was one thing that was successfully copied from Peppino: his papa-wolf instinct.

🍕Pizzaface/head🍅

Ah, her abusive dick of a (now ex-) boss. He never seemed like he treated his employees very nicely in general, but holy shit. Yeah, maybe he was "too classy" to hit a woman, but that didn't mean he couldn't abuse her in other ways to keep her in line. She doesn't like to talk about him.

🗿Gerome🪣

They don't see each other that often, but there's a general sense of respect between them as laborers. She felt horrible about the John situation while they were in the Tower and for being helpless to do anything.

🍕Pizza Granny👄

Granny thinks she's just the sweetest little peach, completely undeserving of all the horrible treatment from her grandson. Likes to bake/knit things for her "honorary granddaughter" from time to time.

-Misc.-

- Height-wise, she's roughly a head taller than Peppino.

- She's got wicked-good balance and amazing customer service skills, fueling Pizzahead's confidence in making her a slave waitress.

- She loves animals! Cats are her favorite.

- Her favorite thing to do with Fakey is playfully smushing his cheeks and calling him a "squishy boy" (he absolutely loves it).

- The quickest way to make her laugh? Show her this video (thanks, Noisette).

- Was constantly exhausted and got sick easily during her time at the Tower due to how overworked she was.

- Has severe major depressive disorder and is a huge atychiphobe thanks to the mental and emotional suffering she endured throughout her life. It really sucks, since she's on too tight of a budget to afford a therapist.

- Has several scars on her upper arms and legs from self-inflicted burns, high enough where they can be easily hidden. She treats this pain as her "personal penance" for not being "good enough" or brave enough to take a stand for someone being mistreated. She doesn't like wearing tanktops, shorts that go above her knees, or any other garments that expose her scarred areas, as she doesn't want anyone to find out in fear of being shamed for it.

- Her favorite therapeutic pastimes include collecting cutesy stuff like stickers and stuffed animals, watching her favorite childhood shows/movies, and journaling with novelty pens.

- The uniform pictured above is after being hired by Peppino post-collapse (I'll have to draw her Tower uniforms at some point, LOL).

#pizza tower #pizza tower oc #pizza tower fancharacter