#now every time someone is like you dont need to worry about x its perfectly safe

[autumndragons]

i remember as a kid being worried about something or another, i dont remember what the specific product was, but i very distinctly remember having anxiety about some food-related thing that we bought or were considering buying. and my little kid self went through this whole thought process like, well, if it was really that dangerous, they wouldnt be allowed to sell it, so if its on the shelf at the store, it must be safe, and i dont need to worry!

which should have been a reasonable thought process

#txts #now every time someone is like you dont need to worry about x its perfectly safe #im just like. yeah so was ddt. #i miss being unaware of things.

[imvriix]

Hi!I was the one who requested the Donald fic and I was wondering if I can have the same concept with Grey and his friends??thank you♡♡♡

──────────────────────

𝔄𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩 𝔉𝔞𝔠𝔢

summary ;; — them with someone who is naturally sweet and kind, yet they don't know how to act due to their oblivious nature.

featuring + contains ;; — gray yeon, alex go, ben park, gerard jin, teddy jin x sweetheart/ selfless gn! reader, ( unestablished relationship ).

a/n : tumblr is so ass, ill be writing fics or whatever and when i wanna take a break and i press to put it in drafts and save, it just fucking dissapears. im literally redoing this because tumblr didnt put my work in my drafts. + because theres a lot of characters, ill be sticking to the overall relationship rather than full oneshots.

──────────────────────

                 ⋆*･ﾟ:     :✧*⋆   ･ﾟ

— gray yeon

gray naturally appreciates polite people who mind their business, so its not surprising if he's fond of you.

i think he likes how real and true you are to yourself and others, your smiles always full of meaning and care instead of fear or disgust.

something else he'd like is how you're able to keep up with him, your mindsets click together perfectly.

all of this is foreign to him, so he doesn't know anything about what he's feeling for the longest time until big ben points it out and goes absolute matchmaker mode.

if he does eventually realise, i think he'd be a bit shy and avoid your gaze that little bit more out of worry he'd get lost in it.

gray can be seen as cold at times, even when he's just being normal, so when your able to talk to him normally and without thinking twice like normal friends should, he finds himself enjoying your company so much.

listening to the words and conversation starters spilling from your pretty lips, he forgets to keep his guard up. he even slips in a sarcastic comment or sly smirk of amusement every now and then.

he doesn't feel like he needs to overthink what to do or say as your conversations flow so easily.

whenever you guys are meant to have a group hangout or meet up or whatever, he ends up constantly searching for you and not relaxing his shoulders until he does. he starts staring without realising.

he can and will hog you to himself, he can't help but be a bit selfish.

it'd also take him an eternity to confess, telling himself ( and also a agitated ben ) that he's fine with the way things are at the moment.

yet you remain clueless.

──────────────────────

— alex go

hes such a sweetheart

i feel like he would like you the second the two of you met, i think he'd get flustered and overthink a lot around you, so he'd probably hide behind ben.

he'd also avoid being alone with you or talking to you pike his life depends on it, he can't handle actually having a conversation with you just yet.

he'd be worried about messing up or weirding you out by making things too awkward, especially because its extremely noticeable with how he looses his cool and avoids your eyes.

you'd end up forcing him to talk with you and he finds that it isn't as awkward as he thought he'd end up making it.

he actually enjoys it a lot and gets more comfortable, constantly thinking about what to talk to you about next and what to do with you.

one of the things he'd like most is how you see him for him, not as a mindless minion or fake.

i think he'd end up confessing but he'd just end up a stammering mess, but he does get his point across in one way or another through his jumble of words.

you dont even have to say much, just smile and give him a kiss and he'll be okay.

──────────────────────

— ben park

he'd think he made it so secret and so unknown but everyone and their mother knows that his feelings aren't only platonic.

its so obvious that it genuinely hurts, he seems to laugh more and become even louder somehow.

big bear hugs whenever you say something sweet or innocent, him giving you constant lectures on how to protect yourself — because we all know he's a gym freak —, and he's protective of you when it comes to anyone outside the friendgroup.

he's just worried you'll get roped into the union and delinquents, he can't afford to lose a friend because some power obsessed freaks couldn't mind their business.

of course, at first he wouldn't have noticed his feelings, and if he did he'd be in slight denial, " i just care about them. we have a mutual caring friendship. yeah, we just care for eachother. yeah. " he'd think, feeling smart.

but when he does sit down and thinks it out, acting like this is the hardest thing he'll ever have to think about in his life, totally concentrated and all, he just admits it to himself pretty easily.

and he makes it everyones business.

sits everyone down, — excluding you —acting all serious, " guys, i have an announcement. i like y/n. "

" wow, really? ", " never would've guessed. ", " oh god i didn't expect that. ", " ya think? " and other sarcastic comments are said.

he seems genuinely surprised everyone knew.

──────────────────────

— gerard jin

we all know gerards a pretty straightforward guy, so i think he'd be even more straightforward to himself.

he'd be the only one who was able to actually hide it pretty damn well, so if anyone in the group finds out, they're all actually surprised.

there isn't really a big reason he likes you, he just thinks your really cute so he kind of sticks to you.

free tarot sessions all the way

he's always worried about you, he thinks that someone may try and take advantage of you and your sweetness.

would play guitar for you and even has a few drafts/ secret songs he made about you.

he'll never show you them of course, but they're so beautiful.

he literally just lingers around you. he isnt very friendly with anyone in his class, which is why he visits yours a lot.

but anytime you look over your shoulder, he's just standing over you.

hell, you dont even have to look and you can just sense him looking over you.

personal bodyguard basically

sucker for your praise

──────────────────────

— teddy jin

SO STIFF

absolutely cannot keep up a conversation with you unless you give it some prodding.

hes kind of like alex in this sense.

he's so tense and awkward because he isn't used to anyone being kind to him without it just being fake and only for their own benefit.

gives you atleast one can of coke whenever you guys see eachother.

i think you would have bonded over sprite and co, he'd fall for you much more harder if you liked cats, especially the two he cared for.

you found it so cute for someone as stubborn and mischievous as teddy to be a diehard cat lover.

you guys basically adopted all the cats in the area together, feeding and caring for literally any cat you see.

can't handle you and cute cats at the same time

he really cant

you'd be like the first person he calls if co is sick, because hes lowkey panicking and running around everywhere in a frenzy since he has no clue about what to do

he recovers eventually and he repays you with coke

you ask for a kiss instead

──────────────────────

#gray yeon #ben park #teddy jin #gerard jin #alex go #weak hero x reader #weak hero x gender neutral reader #gray yeon x gn reader #ben park x gn reader #weak hero webtoon

[bratkook]

like you used to. jjk

“So kill me like you used to...”

part two.

pairing. ex boyfriend!jungkook x reader genre. angst, mentions of smut, toxic exes warnings. very toxic depictions of relationships, hints at infidelity, drunken mistakes, they’re both very toxic for each other and just can’t stay away, brief mentions of smut word count. 2.9k note. this is just a lump of angst that my mind conjured at 1am last night, i just love angst and messy relationships that are destined to fail 😌(its not edited so if u see a typo no u dont)

It always started with a phone call. 

Whether it was from you or him always changed. Sometimes he’d get the call at two in the morning, vision blurry as he brought the phone to his face and saw your name illuminated on the screen, that old goofy selfie you had together still set as your contact photo. He’d hesitate for a moment just to keep you on your toes before pressing accept, already getting up and putting pants on because he knew just what you were calling for. 

Tonight was your turn to be on the receiving end, laying in bed comfortably as you scrolled through random posts to try to help you sleep, the flash of his face fills your phone, it’s a random close up photo of his eyes staring right into the camera, crinkled up in a smile. Even though his name is changed in your contacts, no longer having the cute bunny emoji tacked to the end, you know you’ll still pick up in a heartbeat. And you do. 

The second you press accept you’re met with the familiar sound of his voice, slurred and thick as he speaks so jumbled up you would barely be able to understand him if you didn’t already know what he was saying. It was the same things he always said whenever he got like this, proclamations of love that only cut up your freshly scabbed over wounds, salt rubbing into them when he cries about how he misses you, promises to change. 

They get cut off when the phone is yanked away from his grasp, the second familiar voice belonging to his buddy Yugyeom now speaking into the receiver. “You gotta pick him up Y/N.”

The annoyance is evident in his voice, the babbling of Jungkook still heard in the background along with the dull beat of whatever place they were outside of. 

“He’s not my responsibility Yugyeom.”

He simply sighs into the phone, staring at his mess of a friend before rubbing his jaw, sore and aching from where he had just been socked after attempting to force him into an uber. “Yeah well he won’t let anyone else take him home, he’s drunk as fuck. I’ll send you the location.”

Not waiting for a response he hangs up and sends you a pin of where they’re at, thrusting the phone back into his friend’s hands before getting into that uber and leaving Jungkook alone while he whines against the dirty bar wall, crouching down onto the filthy sidewalk as the car drove off. 

Yugyeom knew you would come to his rescue like you always did, never once saying no and letting Jungkook fend for himself because on the rare occasions where you’d call him drunk and crying he’d do the same. 

Getting into the car still dressed in your pajamas, shoes thrown on without being laced up, hair still messy, it felt like routine now from how often it happened. Jungkook called you sober, text you while in a sane state of mind, but without fail at least once a month he’d get absolutely shit faced and call you, leaving you what he thought were heartfelt voicemails if by some chance you didn’t answer. 

It was the same bar every time, a bar you used to frequent with him, knowing the location and all the small side streets to get you there without needing directions. Doing this felt like such a normal part of your life it almost made you forget that you and Jungkook weren’t together anymore. It’s been a year since you split and you still find yourself thinking if things could be different. 

Would it have been best if you never confessed to each other, never admitted to the small inkling of a crush before it was able to fully blossom? It was hard not to wonder how different life would be now if you had walked away the first time things went south, if he had walked away after the first argument. 

Whenever he called you, pulled you in with those drunken promises it was easy to convince yourself that your relationship was perfect, that it was worth all of the struggles. Your brain morphed each fight, each time you cried alone, twisted it around and molded it to make it easier to consume, easier to believe you were meant to be. 

You thought you were soulmates, and maybe you were, two people destined to be together, meeting at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances. What was meant to be perfect puzzle pieces connected had slowly turned into jagged edges that no longer clicked regardless of how hard you tried to jam them together, foolishly thinking you could spill your love into the gaps to mend the spaces, making the pieces whole once more. 

Love was never enough. 

Love made you stupid, made you blind and gullible, smiling through lies to avoid arguments, going to bed angry until he was hovering over you, coaxing you into forgiveness with soft kisses and gentle touches. It always went this way, regardless of who’s fault it was without fail he’d end up slot between your legs, the only time the puzzle pieces connected perfectly, allowing him to fuck you as if he’d never see you again. Murmurs of love and adoration were passed between panting breaths, sloppy kisses, shared moans to mask the empty promises you made every time.

Staying away from each other was a hard habit to kick, the two of you stuck on an endless game of seesaw, neither of you having the guts to get off and move on. All it took was a simple drunk phone call for you to go his way, the slur of his voice as he cries into the receiver about how much he loved you, missed you, needed you next to him, wanted to try again. It reeled you in so easily, winding you up until you were hauling your sloppy ex boyfriend off the dirty floor and into your small car. 

He remembers none of this, he never did, not fully anyways. Small tidbits of words he said flash in his mind as he comes to, drool on his cheek and neck sore from the unfortunate position he had slept in, groggy and unaware of his surroundings. 

He knew your apartment too well, recognized the green wall he had helped you paint, now holding endless pictures of you and your friends. None of Jungkook anymore. 

All of those photos were gone now, not burned or shredded in some ritual to get over him, simply tucked into a box and shoved so far into your closet you hoped you would forget it. You never did of course, the way the box laid dust free made it clear how often you pulled it out and sorted through the photos whenever you had too much wine, whenever you had off days where you just felt so alone and wished you could go back to the times you had convinced yourself were better. They weren’t, you knew they weren’t once you sobered up and balanced out your emotions.

Jungkook doesn’t feel bothered that not a trace of him remained visible in your home, he knew his presence lingered in the cracks, buried so deep in the crevices of your mind he knew you would always think of him. 

He groans softly as his eyes roam the interior of your home, the throbbing in his temples making him stop and shut his lids, not needing to analyze the place he was at less than two weeks ago when you had called him over. Jungkook briefly wonders if he should sneak his way out, not used to waking up on the couch instead of in your bed right beside you, maybe he had said something last night that crossed the line and landed him on the couch as a punishment. 

As you finally emerge from your room his plan of escape is put to a stop, his eyes gravitating towards your bedroom door, seeing the way you cautiously step out. Having heard Jungkook wake up since you had already been awake for the past hour, your body not allowing you to sleep while knowing he was in the other room, it took a few minutes of courage before you were able to face him. 

Spotting him on your couch shows how much he doesn’t belong, the pinned leather jacket he wore looking so harsh against the light coloring of your furniture, his dark disheveled hair contrasting with the tidy way you organized your apartment. He senses it, the skin crawling sensation that spreads the longer you stare at him, how he felt so out of place somewhere he used to call home at one point. 

“Thank you for picking me up.” He chooses to break the silence, voice raspy, his internal self screaming at him for always doing this. His eyes are sincere, genuinely meaning it, knowing just how messy he got when he had too much to drink, how his friends could never handle him when he crossed the line and began to call for you. 

Like always his words were routine so he expects it when you huff and say, “You need better friends Jungkook.”

“I know.” Because he did, he knew his friends enabled him, riled him up and once he became too much they pushed him onto you, knowing Jungkook’s grip on you was still too strong for you to ever say no. 

“What if I hadn’t picked you up? Would they have left you on the side of the bar to fend for yourself?”

“Probably,” he shrugs, from past experiences he knows very well they would have. His friends had dealt with Jungkook crying over you far too much, their patience fully stamped out, no longer able to tolerate him when he became like this. 

Not even realizing when he begins to smile as he thought of the nights you didn’t pick up, how he had ended up in the most random locations because he refused to go home to a place you weren’t, he snaps out of it when you scoff. “It’s not funny Jungkook, you could have gotten hurt or something.”

There it was, the reason you were upset. Not because he had called you and spewed the same bullshit he always did, no that you could tolerate. You were upset, and worried, that you’d get a following call from someone stating he had injured himself while calling for you. 

“I know.”

You pause to breathe, his short responses not irking you like it should, arms crossed over your chest as you observe your ex boyfriend still sitting on the couch, looking like a scolded child. 

“You can’t call me anymore Jungkook.” How you have the nerve to say that to him is funny, acting as if ten days ago you weren’t the one doing this to him, telling him you missed him, securing your anchor around his foot and dragging him back under with you. 

This is the checklist you needed to go down, a formality of the morning after so he doesn’t mind it. Instead he frowns at the way you continue to say his name, the way it rolls off your tongue makes him wince, missing the way you’d call him Kookie, playful pet names like Bunny, something he swore he hated but secretly loved. Jungkook wished he could hear you say it again, humor you with that damned bunny eared headband he’d wear to hear you laugh, squeal as he posed and dance for whatever silly video you recorded as you shouted out the ridiculous nickname. 

The last time he heard those words spill out of your mouth had been too long ago. 

“I’m sorry.” he admits, he knew he had to stop, couldn’t continue to hold onto the past, knowing how wrong you were for each other but he wasn’t the only one. Those were the same words you told him ten days ago, apologizing with guilty eyes for asking him to come over when you were lonely, needing a familiar body to occupy the space next to you, wanting his hands to soothe you, make you feel whole again just for a night. 

Once the sun came up it was back to normal, the two of you having the repeat conversation you had every time, the exact one you were having now. A formality. Nothing more, just mindless words that you would both agree to just to move along, to make you both feel better, more secure with yourself until the next time the phone rang. 

Your heart twists in your chest as you look at him, the same toxic love you had for him brewing in your heart, spilling over and burning you but you ignore the pain, convince yourself you don’t feel it as you breathe in. That same rope latches around Jungkook’s ankle as you avert your eyes for a brief second before looking back at him with a small sigh. “Do you want breakfast? I know how you get when you have a hangover.”

He smiles for the first time, charming as always, looking up at you through the subtle waves in his hair. “I probably shouldn’t.”

You know this. He definitely shouldn’t because breakfast will turn into words exchanged, civil at first, flirty the next, a coin flipped to decide if a petty argument would begin or if you’d reminisce about the good times. Regardless of the outcome, what always followed ended with you moaning out his name as he rocked into you, those same empty promises spilling through his lips that you swallowed with a kiss. 

A brief moment of bliss, a small dose of the past that only serves to hurt you further but you crave it, loving the small rush that came with arguing, the roughness of his hands as he pushed you around before sliding home, burying his face into your neck as he broke you down all over again. 

Normally you’d try to convince him further, but as your mouth opens to protest you get flashes of the night before, how you had carried Jungkook up your flight of stairs, hearing him ramble about nonsense so slurred together you paid it no mind. You would have had him sleep in your bed beside you like you always did but when you fish his phone out and begin to slide his jacket off it buzzes to life. 

Always being nosey you type in his password, smiling when you realize it was still your old anniversary but when you unlock it and see a flood of messages from a girl named Natalie, calling him babe, asking where he was, the smile falls from your face as you start to snoop. 

It doesn’t take much scrolling through their thread of messages to easily discover she was his girlfriend, blissfully unaware that he was shit faced and calling you, confessing to his love for you while she laid at home and wondered if he was having fun with his friends. She reminded you of yourself, of the way you used to be with him and it left a sour feeling on your tongue. 

“Yeah you probably shouldn’t.” 

He stands up now, following you slowly as you approach the door, heavy boots thumping on the hardwood as he reluctantly steps closer to the exit. He doesn’t want to leave, wants you to try to convince him to stay, not knowing that you knew the dirty secret he was hiding buried in his phone. 

You don’t decide to tell him you know, it was pointless. That was just how Jungkook was wired, so much love to give he had to spread it out, give everyone a fair share of it, choosing to pretend he wasn’t being selfish. It was naive to believe it, to think all the love he held was strictly for you, it was why he was able to pull the hood over your eyes so easily. 

Even when you pull the door open and give him a tightlipped smile he knows you’ll still call him, forget all about Natalie when you’re lonely once more. So when you look him in the eyes and sigh, “Goodbye Jungkook.” He knows it’s not for long, maybe a week or so, maybe less. 

He simply smiles, stuffing his hands into his jeans as he shuffles out, turning to face you as he steps backwards. “See you later Y/N.” And his words sting in a way he doesn’t mean, knowing just how right he was. 

Jungkook would never mind how heavy the anchor you hooked on his ankle was because he knew you would forever be a sucker for him. 

As you shut the door behind you it feels like a small weight starts to hang from your shoulders, the same tug starting from your chest, guiding you into your room until you’re pulling out the cursed box and sorting through those damned photos. With stinging eyes you flip through them for a moment, focusing on all the laughs captured on film, blurry vision moving to your phone beside you, hands already itching to call him again. 

It’s as if he knows, still inside your building, lingering in the lobby to give you a moment and it doesn’t take long. Once his phone starts to vibrate he smiles, staring at the photo of you as you call him like clockwork. With a clear of his throat he answers the phone, barely saying hello before he hears a small sniffle through the speaker. 

“I miss you Kookie.” 

Jungkook lets his eyes shut as he presses the elevator button, loving the feeling of being needed by you, already knowing to head back up because this was routine. 

“I know you do baby, I’ll be right up.”

And just like that you’re once again desperately trying to make those stupid puzzle pieces fit together, hoping that maybe this time love would be enough.

#ficswithluv #goldenclosetnet #heartsforbts #btsghostie #btswritingcafe #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #bts smut #bts angst #jeon jungkook #new

[katsukikiss]

I FUCKIN HATE YOU

CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP // MINORS DNI // EREN X F!READER

Warnings: NSFW 18+, fingering, unprotected sex, alcohol use, noncon touching(ish), hate fucking?, creampie m, idk what else

AN: This is a collab for @bordemm bunny’s rager! It had to fit the theme/vibe of a song and mine was ‘IFHY’ by Tyler the Creator! Give it a listen when you’re about halfway through!

Big thanks to @morelikebaku-no for beta reading this for me!

WC: 5.2K

Masterlist

How did you two get to this point? Why did you hate each other? He would always shove you into walls when you got too close to him and you’d slap him across the arm in retaliation. He would mock how eager you were to please and achieve on missions, and you’d scoff at his selfishness. You threw insults and jabs back and forth whenever you two were near, which wasn’t too often anymore. Although, you weren’t the one who started this all. He used to be so nice, asking you if you needed help, giving you his food, riding your horses side by side. You were both so fond of one another, a bond you had shared since childhood. You thought you might’ve even loved him, but something snapped in Eren one day. You couldn’t understand why he changed so much after that day.

Eren remembered the day perfectly. You both got ready that morning before you set off for what would be a horrible evening. Your squad had a relatively easy mission to complete, but something felt off to you. Eren rested a hand on your shoulder, reassuring you that everything would be okay, and that he’d protect you. He always stuck close to you on these missions, fearing that he’d lose you like he lost everyone else.

You set off on horseback together. You were a skilled cadet, well seasoned in using your ODM gear. Eren hated when you’d get cocky and push yourself too far, but thats why he stuck so close, but not this time. Levi sent you and Jean forward in a group of two, despite Erens pleas to be paired up with you. You shot him a reassuring smile before you and Jean pushed forward and to the right. Eren had to stay in the center with Levi and Armin, his eyes trailing off to watch you descend further away from him.

You and Jean easily took out five abnormals, you killing three and him taking out the other two. You were in a state of euphoria, zipping through the trees. Jean admired your strength and confidence, but they all still saw you as someone that needed protecting, and it royally pissed you off. You slung off to the left, Jean quickly losing sight of you.

“Y/N! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING?!” he howled out to you. He swiftly maneuvered around to try and follow you. Then he heard you scream.

Your blood curdling screams echoed through the forest. ‘T-Thats y/n’ Eren thought to himself.

“EREN WAIT!” Armin loudly pleaded, but Eren was gone, slashing his way through the trees to where your voice came from. Rage was radiating through his body, how could Jean have lost you, let you get hurt. He swore he was going to beat him half to death for letting something happen to you. He moved at an inhuman speed, frantically looking around for where you might be. Then he saw a 15 meter titan, with a tight grasp on you and your neck. Blood was dripping from your nose and lips, you lacked the ability to scream anymore.

Without thinking, Eren transformed. It was dangerous for him to go into his titan form, with you so close and vulnerable, but his body acted on its own will. He lunged at the titan, his mouth clamping hard onto the arm in which you were trapped in. The arm came tumbling to the ground, with you hurdling down with it. Eren was too blinded by rage that he failed to realize you were about to splatter on the ground. He continued to thrash at the titan that once held you. You looked down and your eyes filled with fear. Why wasn't he going to catch you? Suddenly you heard quick sipping noises and you were caught by Jean. He glanced down at you nervously, his breath heaving. He perched up onto a large branch and sat you down against the trunk of the tree.

“Oh my god y/n are you okay?!” he asked in a panicky breath, cupping your face in his calloused hands. You shook as you looked over his shoulder to see Eren still on a rampage, but now he was running towards you two. You lifted a quivering finger to point to him, your throat bruised and unable to form words, and Jean quickly turned his head. A large hand was coming down at you two. Jean scooped you up and slung the two of you away as the branch snapped. Eren let out a shrieking scream that sent shivers down both of your spines. Jean never let up his tight grasp on you as he navigated his way through the forest, trying to get as far away as possible. Eren hadn’t lost control in so long, and now he was trying to kill you.

You got back to the rest of the squad, and Jean explained what had happened. Armin, Mikasa and Levi all went back into the forest to find Eren. He was in a clearing, sticking out of the nape of his now disintegrating titan form, sobbing uncontrollably. They approached him with caution. He hysterically screamed at them, “I'M A MONSTER, I ALMOST KILLED HER!”

You had spent three months in the infirmary, healing from the broken arm and bruised windpipe you had suffered. Everyone came to visit you regularly, except Eren. He never came by to see you, and shuddered when Armin finally recommended that he should.

“I dont want to fucking see her” he muttered under his breath. Armin stopped speaking, not wanting to push his friend over the edge again. You were finally strong enough to go back to your own room, eat in the dining halls, and train. Much to your dismay, Levi wasn’t going to put you back on missions for awhile.

Your first day back in the dining hall, everyone beamed a smile at you.

“Hey y/n! Why dont you come sit over here?” Jean shouted to you. You smiled and looked away, opting for your usual table instead. You made your way to Armin, Mikasa and Eren with your tray. You plopped your tray down and scooted your way over to Eren. His head was low until you sat down. He looked up at you with anger in his eyes.

He was never angry at you, but at himself. He feared being anywhere near you. You almost died at his hands and he could never forgive himself for that. You were so sweet, never once holding a grudge for what happened that day. He hated how forgiving you were, it made it all so much harder. He made a promise to himself that he needed to stay away from you, make you hate him if it meant you’d be safe.

“Long time no see Eren!” you exclaimed. Mikasa and Armin both looked at Eren anxiously. He slammed his fist on the table, standing up and walking away.

“What's his problem?” you asked the other two who were looking at you with doe eyed expressions.

“Not sure, but I think it's best if you keep your distance for a little okay y/n?” Armin said in an apologetic tone. He could see the pain and worry twist its way into your face. ‘What did I do wrong?’ you asked yourself. Tears flooded down your face as you ran out of the dining hall back into your room. You told yourself this wouldn’t last long and things would be back to normal but you were so wrong.

Six months later and now you and Eren thoroughly hated one another. You couldn’t take his insults and cold shoulder anymore so you threw it back at him, making the divide between you two grow larger with every passing day. You let your feelings from before the mission drift away and all you were left with was resentment and anger. You never understood why he turned so cold but you didn’t care to figure it out anymore, he never wanted to be around you and that was it. But little did you know, someone else had really convinced him to stay away from you. He wanted to try and talk to you one day but Mikasa coerced him out of it, telling him that it would make things worse and that he would only end up hurting you again. He believed her and vowed to stay away from you.

It was a crisp Saturday evening. The regiment was going to be drinking and celebrating a successful mission outside together later that night, even Levi and Erwin would be attending. You made your way over to Sasha’s room to talk and get ready. It was nice to finally have a day to let loose and have fun. You and Sasha decided to take some sheers to old shirts and create sexy twist tops; neither of you had attire for a night out like this. You took an old black t-shirt of Erens that he had given to you one night, looking at it you felt a pang in your heart, before you shook it away and began to cut. You twisted it in the middle, giving your breasts little fabric hammocks to rest in. You pulled the straps up and over your shoulder. You shoved yourself into some high waisted jeans before heading out with Sasha.

It was a lively sight. People hugging and laughing, ignoring the horrible world they lived in for a while. Connie waved you and Sasha over to him and Jean who were seated around a high table. You jumped up onto a stool between the two boys and across from your friend. Jean had a pitcher of beer on the table and four glasses for you all. You finished three pitchers all together in the matter of 30 minutes, talking and cracking jokes the whole time.

You looked around and spotted Armin red faced, blabbering off to Commander Erwin, whose face was also flushed red from the alcohol he had consumed. It was a pleasant surprise that made you smile, seeing the two blonde men letting loose for a bit. Then you saw Eren and Mikasa, sitting at a table together getting belligerently drunk. You were never jealous of her, he always told you she was like a sister to him, but then you shook your head. ‘What? Why would I even be jealous anyway…’ you looked away from the pair, cursing at yourself for even feeling that way. ‘He hates you, you hate him’ you reminded yourself.

Your attention was snapped back when Connie placed four shots onto the table. You were no stranger to drinking, you actually really enjoyed it; maybe too much. You all nodded, tapping your shots down on the table, bringing them up, clanging them all together, then slamming them back onto the table before throwing the clear alcohol back into your mouths. Sasha groaned at the foul taste, begging Connie to go get some food with her to wash it out of her mouth. They headed off towards a table of food, leaving you and Jean alone. You looked back over at Eren, but he and Mikasa were both gone. Your mind started racing, but you kept your calm on the outside. You were pretty drunk at this point, vision a bit distorted, but your words still came out presentable. Jean laughed, he watched you sway in your seat before gripping tightly onto the table almost falling.

“You alright pretty girl?” Jean asked in a flirty voice. He was always super kind to you, especially after the accident, but he also learned not to baby you anymore after that. Sure, he was mad you ran off on your own, but he understood why you did that in the moment, you felt like you needed to prove something. You didn’t mind him taking a coy tone with you tonight.

“Oh yeahh don't worry about me” you said, dragging your words a bit in a teasing voice. You winked at him and he blushed. You were typically sarcastic when Jean flirted with you but not now. He was cute, maybe not ideal but you can’t be that picky when you weren’t dealt a great hand in the Scouts. He slid his hand across the table and grabbed onto yours gently. You looked up at him with a wide eyed, innocent look on your face. You looked to the side to see if Eren came back around, but to your frustration he was still nowhere to be found. You looked back at Jean.

“You know, I’ve always thought you were so beautiful y/n” he confesses, his grip on your hand tightening. You probably would have blushed under normal circumstances, but your drunken state left you smirking at him with an insatiable gleam in your eyes.

“So why don’t we…” your voice trailing off, you nodded your head to the side, signaling to Jean that you wanted to ditch the party and be alone. His entire face flushed red and his pupils dilated. He was so eager to finally have you to himself. He stood up briskly as did you. He held onto your hand, walking forward without saying a word to you. You started to feel a bit intimidated by the tall handsome man as he led you away from the crowd and into the dark of the night. But someone was watching you two, never stopped watching.

He pushed you up against the stables and began ravenously kissing at your neck and squeezing at your breast. Being touched deprived and drunk made you moan at his every touch.

“You look fucking incredible in this shirt” he huffed out. His lips came back to yours, shoving his tongue into your mouth. He started to move his hand lower and lower. You started to get nervous, you didn’t want to go this far, you weren’t ready to. You grabbed at his arm and whimpered out, “I-I don’t wanna do that right now, okay?” Jean kept moving his hands down. You weren’t sure if maybe he didn’t hear you or was too drunk or was just flat out ignoring you. Then his hand was forcefully pulled out of your pants as he fell backwards into the ground.

“Get the fuck off of her and get out of here. Now” Eren demanded in a fierce tone. He was standing above Jean, looking down at him. Any haziness you had in your head was washed away when you saw the scene unfold in front of you. Jean scrambled to get to his feet before looking Eren right in the eye.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he challenged. Eren was seething with anger. They both burned holes into each other's eyes. You didn’t want to see anyone get hurt because of you, so you spoke up.

“Jean, it's okay, I'm okay, I’ll catch up with you later okay?” you tried to reassure him. He looked at you confused then back at Eren with a grimace before turning away from the two of you.

“Alright whatever” he groaned, disappointed. You looked at the man in front of you for a second, before you lazily lunged at him with a fist. You were so angry and emotional when you saw him leave. Your coordination still wasn’t functioning at its best, he easily dodged and grabbed your wrist.

“What the fuck were you doing back here? Was he trying to..?” he manically questioned before letting go of his grasp on your arm. You were surprised to see how riled up he was over seeing you with Jean. You decided to push your luck.

“Why do you care Eren? And yeah, we were going to fuck until you came and ruined it” you spat at him.

“I heard you y/n, and I saw him ignore you. Don't play tough when I know you aren’t” he hissed back at you.

“What is wrong with you? Why were you watching us, you freak? Weren’t you off fucking Mikasa?” you sneered at him. You were embarrassed that he caught you lying, but even more embarrassed that he watched Jean touch all over you.

“You should be grateful I was here, who knows what we would’ve done” he answered, ignoring your comment about Mikasa. It gave him pleasure knowing you still cared a bit, that maybe you were even jealous.

“Grateful? I have no reason to be thanking you, I can handle myself just fine now leave me alone” you said, shoving your way past him. He grabbed your arm and yanked you back.

“What the fuck Eren. Get off of me…don’t you have another girl to harass?” you scoffed at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he stated in a shadowy tone.

“Don’t play dumb, you and Mikasa left together”

“We didn’t..but why do you care hm?” he asked, slightly smirking. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know that just yet.

“I don’t give a shit, fuck whoever you want but don’t ruin my sex life too”

“I actually never left the party”

“Yes you did”

“Maybe you didn’t see me, but I was there, watching you,” he confessed.

“Eren what the fuck” you said, afflicted by what he had just said. Over the last year he spent everyday avoiding you, your gaze, your touch, and when you were around he was nothing short of evil to you. But here he was, hands on your wrists, having the longest conversation you two had ever had since the mission. You felt your emotions being pulled in every direction. ‘He still cares. He hates you. He’s an asshole. Does he miss you?’ You couldn’t figure out what to think, but one thing you knew was that you couldn’t forgive him for the way he had treated you.

“I don’t know why you were watching over me, or why you’re even talking to me right now, but I want to leave. I don’t want anything to do with you” you stammered. It wasn’t entirely true. You missed him so much, but that was the old him. You don’t even know who you’re looking at anymore.

“Y/n, I know that isn’t true” he said, inching closer to you. You could smell alcohol on his breath and the scent made you dizzy. You backed up, trying to pull your hands from his grip but it was of no use. Your back was up against the wood of the stables.

“I've missed you so much, you have no idea” he remarked, with a hint of sadness in his voice. You looked up at Eren, finally locking eyes with him. You hadn’t looked him in the eyes in so long. Despite everything, his eyes were the same as you remembered. They looked at you sympathetically, with love and tenderness, the way he used to. However, your fleeting moment of empathy turned quickly back into anger

“How could you?! How could you just cut me out of your life, treat me like a fucking stranger? And you have the audacity to pull this little stunt! ” you screamed at him, hot tears streaming down your cheeks.

“I-Im sorry, I-“ he was cut off by your hand sharply smacking him across the face. He stumbled back and away from you.

“Get the fuck away from me. You don’t get to just walk back into my life, no, fuck that and fuck you” you refuted. Your reply hit him harder than the slap. He couldn’t let you go, never again. The brief compassion he had was gone. He was done trying to be gentle, you had awakened something that had lied dormant for months. He spent so long trying to stay away from you, his thoughts tormenting him, but you were different now. He was going to go easy on you, slowly open up to you to see if you could accept him into your life again, but it seemed he couldn’t take that approach anymore. He slammed you back into the side of the stable, trapping your arms behind your back and gripped your jaw with one large hand.

“I did that all for you. You don’t know how hard it was for me to be mean to you, to stay away from you. But here you are, and I'm not going to hold back anymore” he revealed with a low predatory voice, sending an aching chill to your core. He slipped his free hand under your little makeshift shirt and ferociously clutched at your breast. He aggressively pressed his lips against yours, his heart fluttering as he finally felt your soft pretty lips against his own. A low whine vibrated in your throat. You wanted to be stronger, to push him away from you but your resolve crumbled.

“I don’t want to see you around Jean or any other guy here, do you understand me?” Eren murmured, his throat rasping with the low tone he took.

‘Excuse me, what did he just say?’ You couldn’t just take orders from him, not after all he put you through. You snapped out of the trance he had you under. You looked at him with scalding eyes and spit onto his face. It was risky, but you weren’t thinking straight. Again, you were conflicted between screaming at him or accepting him, hating him or loving him. He looked down at the dirt and slowly dragged his hand across his face, wiping your saliva from his cheek. He creeped his head back up, his vile look tormenting you.

“Who the fuck do you think you are Eren? Trying to tell me what to do with my body? Fuck off” you hissed back at him. You tried to move away from him but his hand was encasing your fragile throat.

“I know you miss me baby, I know you want to let me back in, but you have too much pride, you were always too stubborn. Let me show you what you’re missing” he muttered. You wanted him to be wrong but he was so right. You desperately wanted to forgive him and bring everything back to the way it used to be. His free hand unzipped your tight jeans and tugged them down to the ground. His thick digits started to rub against your folds through your pink lace panties. His other hand moved from your neck to the back of your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair and yanking your head back. He bit and sucked at the tender flesh of your neck, leaving little territorial marks all over you. Your lips parted to let out soft mewls. The last few months suddenly flashed before you, bringing anger back to the forefront of your mind.

“I h-hate you!” you screamed. Despite enjoying the way he was making you feel, you still had so much to let out.

“Don’t say that” he growled. His hands were under the fabric of your panties now, two fingers pumping in and out of you. His thumb reached around to swirl erotic circles on your sensitive nub.

“I mean it” you softly moaned out.

“No babygirl, you don’t. You can’t lie to me” He cooed into your ear. His fingers pace inside you abruptly quickened causing you to let out a pleasurable cry. Something about this new Eren was making your mind go crazy, he had an intense hunger for you and a depraved way of fulfilling it.

“Come back to me y/n, let's start over” he groaned into your ear, and you had a feeling he wasn’t suggesting that, but rather demanding. He tried to reach for your hand.

He desperately wanted you to touch him. You held your arms behind your back the entire time, by choice. You didn’t want to make him feel good, you didn’t want to feel his body, his face, his hair, or you knew you’d completely come undone.

“N-no Eren” you stammered. You were pushing his buttons, seeing how far you could go, how much he could take. He was starting to get angrier, revealing his deep sinful nature. He flicked his two fingers up, hitting your spongy spot every time they prodded back into you. His talented digits made your chest rise and fall quickly, letting short strained breaths and cries out.

“Wrong answer. You don’t get a choice. You will be mine” he demanded. Just as these words left his mouth your walls began to involuntarily clench around his fingers, your juices releasing all over them. You scraped your nails into the wood behind you, desperately trying to offer yourself some comfort. His possessive words should be scaring you, making you uncomfortable, but they only make you long for him more. Something about his controlling nature was truly intoxicating.

“I knew it, you do miss me, don’t you babygirl? I knew I should’ve done this earlier” he insinuated, a shameless smile creeping up on his face. He pulled his fingers out of your sobbing hole and brought them up to his mouth. He lolled his tongue out and slowly dragged his fingers down, savoring your sweet taste. You watched him in the lewd act, but thought about his words for a moment. ‘I knew I should’ve done this earlier’ you want to ask him what he meant but before you could speak his mouth was on yours, lips meeting once again. He gave you a wet kiss before pulling away to look at you. He pet your face and swept your wet strands of hair off your sweating forehead. Even all hot and messy, you still looked so adorable to him.

“Please baby, I can’t take it anymore. Put your arms around me” he begged. You gave the slightest nod of disapproval, pissing him off again.

“When I try to ask nicely you refuse. What is it with you?” he scowled at you. He yanked your arms from behind your back, making you yelp. He put them on his shoulders and pressed his body flush to yours. You stopped trying to fight his advances, wrapping one hand behind his neck and the other snaked through his hair.

His clothed bulge was firmly pressed against your exposed cunt. You began to buck your hips forward into him, forcing a low moan to escape his lips. He placed his hands on your thighs and hoisted them up and around his waist. You continued to kiss and explore each other's mouths with your tongues. You twirled yours around his, as if they were always meant to dance with one another.

He picked up your pants and carried you a few over to a shed. He kicked the door open, removed a hand from your ass to pull a light on. You looked and saw an old steel table with miscellaneous tools and blueprints all over it. Eren used a hand to shove everything to the side and sat you down. He stood between your legs, your neck angled painfully high to kiss the man towering above you. His hands moved down to his crotch as he meticulously unbuttoned his slacks. His throbbing member sprung from his boxers as he lowered them down his legs. Your mind was racing as you thought about what was actually happening. He pressed his cock against your needy hot cunt, sweeping through your puffy lips with it. All inhibition left your body from the touch. You pulled him close to you, the heat radiating between your legs.

“Fuck me Eren, please” you begged him. Your words made his blood hot.

“About time” he groaned. He aligned his cock with your tight entrance. He firmly grabbed your ass cheeks as he slowly advanced himself into your sobbing cunt. Your walls clung onto his swollen tip. He bucked his hips before completing bottoming out inside of you, gently grazing your cervix. His thrusts turned into brutal ramming, the entire table shaking with ever hard pound into you. Your lower stomach was bulging with every assault, your head hanging back from the feeling.

“Do you still hate me now?” he spat at you. His eyes transfixed on your bouncing tits. You couldn’t think straight, the pleasure of his cock hitting you in all the right places scrambled your brain.

“N-No no Eren fu-uck just fuck me, faster please!” you squealed out. He was already savagely slamming into you, but he answered your calls and quickened his pace. He grabbed you by the neck, forcing your head forward to look into his eyes.

“Tell me, tell me you’re mine” he whined into your ear. His eyes looked primal, as if he would devour you if you didn’t answer him correctly. You could tell he was close, his thrusts were getting sloppier and all he could do was let out husky breaths and little moans.

“Ah fuck I’m all yours Eren!” you cried out.

“ONLY mine”

“Y-yess ONLY yours”

Your legs wrapped around him as your orgasm shocked your entire body. You gripped his dark locks and looked up to see Eren’s eyes looking at yours, admiring the way your face contorted with pleasure. His knees buckled as his cock twitched inside you, releasing his warm thick cum all over your walls. He slowly dragged himself out of you, huffing heavy breaths out. Your legs fell down to dangle off the side of the table again. You rested your head onto his chest and he wrapped his arms around you, placing his head on top of yours. You both laid there, chests heaving in unison. You abruptly pulled away, startling him, and you looked up.

“Why d-did you leave me Eren?” you asked, tears welling up in your solemn eyes. He looked to the side, saddened by the question, and trying to find the right words.

“Because, I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought you’d be better off away from me after the mission and I-“

“Why would I be better off that way? You hurt me even more by doing that…”

“I nearly killed you y/n! I almost lost you, and everyone made me feel like I would be a danger to you” he whispered. Anguish and hurt flooded his voice when he spoke to you. The once domineering man was crumbling as he gave his confession to you.

“Why did you wait so long? Why now?” you said, pulling aggressively on his shirt. You recalled him saying he wanted ‘to do this sooner’ but never got to ask about it. He rubbed the back of his neck before looking down at you.

“I…well…Mikasa told me to stay away from you too…and I did leave the party before with her..but only for a little and that’s when I realized her intentions…but I came right back to find you and talk to you after that” he said, searching your face for a hint of how you were feeling. Your expression was blank, eyes were now dried and void of emotion. You jumped off the table and started putting your pants on. Eren started to grow worried as you neared the door.

“Y/n? Where do you think you’re going?”

“To find Mikasa”

#bunnys rager #eren x you #eren smut #attack on titan eren #aot x reader #aot fanfiction #jean kirschstein #eren jaeger

[seancekitsch]

Out of the Rain: a Marko x Reader fic

Warnings: bloodplay goes without saying bc vamp, rough sex, dirty talk, semi public sex, telepathy?? me projecting my music taste on this fic again. drug use, fast and loose use of vampire lore bc when i write i am god and u cannot stop me. also can u tell i have like…. v clear descriptions of the setting like i used to work at the place im describing but its not in california

No one had come in for hours. What's the point of staying open? You dim some of the lights in the store, which is one of three head shops in Santa Carla, but the only one open late. You're not really sure why this is the only store that stays open, why everyone else if worried about the three am walk back to their car on a weekend night. You've never seen anything of suspicion, just sometimes that biker gang watches people shuffle out. That was almost comforting, though. People didn't like those guys, so no one would make you use your switchblade if they were around.

The bright while fluorescent lights of your typical daytime ambiance faded away, and now green light bathes you in the “mood” lighting your boss thought was a good idea. The green lighting reflects off of the glass counters, shining it back at the ceiling and making everything that much more green. It fits, you think with the overall vibe of the store. The stale scent of weed, gently and miserably covered up by some nag champa incense, always burning in at least four different spots within the store. You'd long since gotten used to the smoke in your eyes. The music does everything to add to the ambiance. You always have full control of the music in the shop, usually because no one else is willing to take the night shift in Santa Carla. In fact, most of the boardwalk shops had a revolving door of night shift workers. You never got why, something clearly spooks them that does not spook you. Whether that makes you brave or stupid, you dont know. Jefferson Airplane’s Surrealistic Pillow pumps through the speakers in the store. But I suppose no one knows, you're my plastic fantastic lover.

The rain batters the boardwalk outside, a roar much different than the typical hustle and bustle of drunk teens, of the cliques and crews that come in and out; the few that sit and snicker in the doorway, never entering. Some too afraid to be associated with the implication of being spotted in the shop. We sell jewelry and vinyl too, you always say, when they balk at the idea of being in the same room as a bong or incense.

But then there's the other group that stands and idles in the threshold, also not entering. It's that biker gang. Four guys, a girl, a kid. Maybe he’s the brat of the girl and the one who takes himself too seriously, but maybe not. She looks too young for that. They'd been hovering around quite a bit lately, always after dark. You’d spoken to them, at least the ones that are talkative. The hair metal wannabe and the cute short one. Paul and Marko. You knew the dark haired one was Dwayne, but all he ever offered you was a curt nod and a tight lipped smile, respectful but indifferent. They're nice, not worth the spooky reputation they have. Any time it's not just you at the shop, your boss tries to spook them away. Good thing your boss isn't here tonight, because one of them is prowling around the storefront in the rain. That is, if it's not your spliff induced haze playing tricks on you.

No, one of them is out there. Without his little pack. The cute one. Marko.

You walk over to the door, which you haven't had propped open since the rain trickled in as a drizzle at the beginning of your shift. At least he had enough sense to be huddling under the awning. Fuck, he’s handsome even when he looks like a drowned rat.

“What are you doing out here?” You scrunch up your nose as you ask.

“Y’know, waiting for you to show up.” Wanted a look at that cute ass.

You blink at him. Did he really just say that?

“Okay… well, you know it's raining out there, right?”

“I might,” he offers noncommittally, eyeing the spliff still in the hand that's not holding the door. If it were anyone but him, you'd probably get fired for it.

Why is he just hanging around out here? That's hella weird. His curls are getting matted to his forehead, slick with rain, his jacket starting to look a little sad.

“C’mon in, Marko. It’s too wet out here. You’ll fuck up your jacket.” You nod towards the interior of the shop holding the door open as he passes you.

Wrong move, sweet cheeks.

“What did you say?” What did he mean, wrong move?

“I didn't say anything,” he offers nonchalantly as he thumbs at one of the tapestries on the wall. A garish mess that’s supposed to be the worm from Alice in Wonderland, but it’s distorted by a botched tie dye job of dark muddy colors. Every time you look at it, you assume one of the day workers did it.

“No, you said something.”

“Do you want me to say something?” there's both a threat and an innuendo in his tone. Maybe you do, but you just laugh, a sharp exhale through your nose, and bring the spliff to your lips again as he follows you deeper into the store.

You jump up onto the counter next to the ash tray, easy reach for each time you need to ash.

“So why are you really here?” your eyes narrow at him, kicking your sandal off on the floor where it lands a few inches from his boots. He looks uneasy in the space, like for all the wild shit you assume he’s into, he might not actually belong in it. He sways a little to the music, perfectly in tune with the rhythm. You sway along too, and suddenly he fills the space like he belongs. He just needed someone along for the ride with him.

“Do you ever come around during the day, or just at night because I’m so fun?” You’re teasing him, but it’s a nice easy feeling between you.

“Not really a sun guy,” bullshit, he would look beautiful with a tan, “but I do drag everyone here just to see you.”

“Awww, all for me? Do you have a crush, Marko?”

It’s more than that. You hear the words clearly, but his smile doesn’t move. You kick the other sandal off.

“I can hear you, I don’t know how, but I can. I bet you can hear me too.”

I can. You’re wrong about the tan thing.

You straighten up, mind clearing as you blurt out your next question. Something absolutely stupid.

“So what are you, a vampire or something?” he laughs at you, but his big toothy smile doesn't reach his eyes. No, there's something predatory, extremely dark in his eyes. Otherworldly.

How could you guess?  

“Well, that for one big fucking clue.” You ash the spliff for the final time, leaving the roach in the tray. You would think you’d be more surprised, more upset that you just found out vampires were real, and that you were in the same room as one. You have to say, weirder things are probably afoot in Santa Carla. Murder capital of the world can’t all be from some rowdy teens and a ten year old.

“You do those surf nazis?” is all that leaves your mouth. You kind of hope it was. They were the fucking worst. Racist, misogynistic, destructive. You’d had to threaten them a few times to leave your store on your shift.

“The—? Oh! Surf nazis. Yeah that was us. Ate a few of them.”

“Good for you. I mean— murder. bad. But they were nazis, and now they’re dead. so…” you trail off. Not really sure what to say next, but then you keep going. Remember everything you know about Marko.

“No, no I mean, it makes sense. Right? You and the guys only hang around at night. Aren’t vampires solitary hunters though? I don’t remember Dracula being in a frat.”

“They’re my pack. We take care of each other.” He says it with such fondness and devotion.

You feel a pang of jealousy run through you. You work alone for the most part, live alone, you’ve got friends but they’re all over the place. He belongs to something.

“And you're down with this?” he’s legitimately asking. You nod. You don't really have a choice, you're down or you get eaten, but like genuinely you are down with it. If he was going to eat you, he probably would have by now. There's probably a reason they've been hanging around the store, and in your sightline while you close up. You're putting things together.

“Like really?”

“Well, you haven't made me a kebab yet.”

He shrugs, frowns.

“Could still skewer you on something.”

Laughter erupts from your lips while you roll your eyes, music to Marko’s ears. This is why he took a shine to you, it's easy to get along with you, and you're not one of his brothers.

Something heavy falls in the room, and it's not the haze of the incense. He steps towards you, big blue eyes raking over your body, but always coming back to meet your gaze. He closes the space between you, easily fitting between your thighs; the rough patches of his jacket brushing against your bare skin where your shorts ride up. He leans in, like he's about to kiss you, and against all better judgement, you're going to let him.

You're going to let him.

The record skips. He holds out his hand, more like a gentleman than a biker gang killer, and helps you off the counter.

“Hold on, let me pick out a new record,” you turn without waiting for his confirmation, not at all surprised when Marko follows hot on your heels to the back room. Your boss’ office, the record room. Whatever you wanted to call it. His hands ghost over your arms as you push past the wooden bead curtain to enter the room. You can feel his presence close enough to touch. That's it, right where I want you. There’s his voice again.

He lets you actually pick out a new record. You slide it out of the sleeve and walk it over to the player. The static buzzes and pops as the needle finds the groove.

“Ocean Rain, you heard it?” No. He shakes his head, and you can feel it as he leans into your back.

“Echo and the Bunnymen. They've got a new album coming out this year.”

You turn to face him and his fingerless leather glove clad hands cover your cheeks.

He kisses you gently, tenderly. Not at all the way you’d expect. He’s eager, kissing like there’s something to prove. He licks his way into your mouth, tongue pushing your lips apart and you let him. His arms tighten around you as you kiss, tongues now greeting each other playfully. Your tongue explores his mouth, running along each and every tooth in his mouth. Huh, no fangs, you realize, and maybe he isn't actually a vampire. As if he reads your mind (maybe he does), he pulls away.

“They're, uh, hiding,’ he nods, almost to himself more than you. You nod as well, slow and uneasy, not quite believing him, but he pulls you back into a harsh kiss, more of what you expected. His hands roam your body as yours bury themselves in his curls. Still damp, but long and beautiful just as well. He shrugs the jacket off his shoulders, and his hands only briefly leave you to throw it and his gloves somewhere else, leaving him just in a thin white tank top. His mouth leaves yours to trail lower, kissing your neck. Your pulse point. Fucking irresistable. No, that's definitely his voice. Is this the end? Could be.

“I can smell you, hot stuff,” he moans into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You find yourself gripping onto his shoulders a little tighter, but he lets you sink. He guides you, again more gently than you thought he would; bare knees brushing the threadbare carpet floor before you plant yourself. You look up at him through your lashes and he all but bites back a groan.

“You gonna join me down here?” You lick your lips, waiting for something.

“Nah, I’m gonna let you have a head start,” there's a joke in his tone. You're learning that’s normal for him. He’s silent, or playing jester. It’ll be interesting when you let him fuck you. Shit, did he hear that?

“Quit thinkin’ so loud!” he runs an affectionate hand through your hair. “But yes, I heard you. Glad you're as eager as I am.”

That's encouraging. You take your time undoing his belt, connected to faded and soft leather chaps, not bothering to push them down his thighs before you move to the top of his jeans, teasing your fingers at the skin just above the waistline. He shudders under your touch, extremely reactive. Does he get touched like this often? Or is it just quick fucks? You don't want to think about who else he might be doing this with, focusing again on his body, and all of the offending clothing covering it. You unbutton them slowly, teasing. For a member of the undead, he seems to be out of breath under your movements. The zipper is pulled down just as slowly. You run your palms flat along the bottom of his stomach, to his hips before pushing his jeans down to around his ankles, hooking his boxers on your finger along with them. He’s beautiful, and you can help but stare. Hard, eager, and thick, greeting you with a small trimmed patch of golden blonde curls. You wrap your hand around the base.

You never expected a vampire to whimper, but that's exactly what happens when your tongue darts out of your mouth to lick the head of his cock. Quick, tentative little lick, testing the waters. Your tongue swipes across the slit at the tip of his thick member and his hands animate like you flipped a switch, rising up, going to your hair, rising up again, slamming down against the desk. Your boss’ desk. You lick a long stripe to the underside of his cock, paying close attention to the prominent vein there.

“So good, so good, oh you feel so-” he pants out, hands white knuckling the edge of the desk. Heat pools in your core, loving that he’s so vocal. Fuck, if he could just keep speaking. Your other hand moves to your shorts, sloppily and hastily undoing them and wiggling them down to your knees. You wrap your lips around the head of his cock and sink down on it, taking him as far as you can, until you couch when he hits the back of your throat.

“You look fucking beautiful like that. Please move, Please move, you’re so fucking good at this.”

You do, starting to bob your head up and down on the length of him, hollowing out your cheeks and flattening your tongue against him, cupping and massaging his balls in your hand. Your free finds itself between your legs, rubbing gently at your clit, stirred and encouraged by his praise.

“Does sucking me off get you hot and bothered?” Yesitdoes.

You keep bobbing your head, rubbing your clit, eyes trained on his until his eyes squeeze shut. His cock twitches in your mouth.

“Don't wanna- don't wanna finish in your mouth,” he’s urgent, grabbing you by the chin and pulling your mouth off of his cock. He pushes you back by your shoulders, letting you guide yourself back to lay on the rug. He pulls your loose shorts easily off your legs and settles himself between your legs, too eager to bother with removing his boots and everything.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Do you know how bad I wanted this?”

“Fuck me, Marko, dont say it. Just do it,” youre breathless under him, wanting nothing more than for him to be fucking you. He pauses.

“I dunno…” his thumb swipes up along your clit, drawing a whine from your throat, “For some reason I think you like it when I say things.”

You nod, knowing words will fail you. And he gives you what you want, lining himself up and sinking into you, groaning as he buries his head into the crook of your neck.

“Oh I knew your pussy would feel like fucking heaven,” he pants against your neck, pressing a harsh kiss to the underside of your jaw. He sets the pace quickly, unmerciful and fast, fucking hard and deep into you. His hands push up your thin tee shirt, and you can feel his sigh of relief when he gets a handful of bare breast. He doesn't have to deal with a bra tonight. You hike your knees up, opening yourself as much as you can to him, wanting him to fill you to the brim. He looks into your eyes while he fucks you, which comes as a surprise to you. Maybe it shouldn't. You wonder what it would be like to be a victim of his. Does he treat them well? Have fun with them like this? Or is he vicious? You don't know if you could picture him like that… vamped out.

“What does it feel like?”

“What?” he thrusts sharply, snapping his hips into you, making you yelp.

“To be fed on, but not to die.”

Are you serious? You hear him in your head.

YesIam. He thrusts like that again, earning an identical yelp, now coupled with your thighs squeezing him around the middle. You're close already, and he can tell.

He nods, a question; You nod, confirmation.

He pulls at the neckline of your shirt, already scooping so it doesn’t ruin, and exposes your shoulder. Somewhere non lethal. His other hand comes up to grip your jaw, covering your neck but being careful not to squeeze it. You hope he bruises your jaw, you realize. A physical way to feel him when dawn comes. He slows his pace to a rocking, grinding into you, staying deep.

Then he bites. Stars erupt behind your eyes, and it feels like your blood has turned to seltzer. Every nerve in your body is in overdrive as you moan and shake and come undone around his cock. You're the kind of girl that comes from the bite of a vampire, apparently. He doesn’t let up. You can faintly hear him moaning against the open wound in your shoulder, and you hope you taste good to him. He licks the wound a few times more, softly, carefully, like he’s trying to soothe you when he finally lets you come down from your high.

When he pulls back to let you see him, his features are gruesome, full vampire with sharp brows and cheekbones, pointed nose even that much more so almost birdlike. Fangs and bottom half of his face covered in blood.Your blood.  He’s panting like an animal after the kill. But he doesn't scare you. Maybe he should, but he doesn't.  It's just Marko, no matter what, and if he wanted to eat you he would have. Several times now. His hand finally releases your jaw, to wipe the blood from his face. He wipes his hand then on your face, covering you in your own blood, hot on his fingers and palm.

“Fuckin sexy,” he pants, voice deeper and distorted. His thrusts speed up, trying to find his own release as your nails dig into his back, maybe making him bleed as well. You feel the rug burn forming on your back, you feel tears in your eyes. It's never felt this good with other guys.

When he comes, he comes with a howl, buried deep inside you as he shouts and shivers then stills above you. Your chest is heaving, trying to regain yourself as his face slowly fades to normal, and he slumps down on top of you. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, near the wound he tore open, now no longer bleeding. He mouths at any bare skin he can find, lazy half kisses as he spreads more mess and blood on you. Your fingers find his curls again, winding them around your digits as you stare up at the sickly green mood lighting bathing the walls of the room.

An hour later, Marko is helping you lock up early.

He makes sure to dump out all of the ashes from spliffs and incense, makes sure the vinyl is all in its right place while you make sure the register and inventory is all in its rightful place and order.

“You’re dangerous, you know.”

“Me?” you scoff, “That rich, coming from you.”

I’d do a lot of things I’m not supposed to for you. You kinda don't want to ask him what he means by that. For some reason that feels like a conversation you shouldn't have tonight. 

He leaves the store before you, holding the door open for you and letting you lock the doors. He slings an easy arm over your shoulder, not bothering to shield either of you from the rain as he steers you towards your car. You can feel the rain cleaning your face, the blood flowing away and saving you the shower you were going to take before collapsing into bed tonight.

“Where’s your bike?”

“I flew here,” he says with that devilish smile, and you're really not sure if he's joking or not. Your arm sneaks its way into his jacket and wraps around his waist, holding him close as he makes sure you get home same. Marko makes you feel calm, in a way you didn't feel before you moved to Santa Carla. How long had he been waiting to make his move? And does this mean he and his brothers would be coming around more often? Maybe being more friendly towards you. Each step towards your car feels heavy; You don't want to go home alone without him, but somehow you know he won't come with you. 

“Will I see you again?”

He grabs your car keys from your hand, and sticks them in the door handle. Of course you will.

Right. You just have to be near the beach at night. You know, where you work.

He kisses you full on the mouth, holding you close and tight, like you could slip away at any second. When he finally lets you go you pull away to be met with his face, full on grinning, his eyes still closed from the kiss. He doesn't look like a killer.

Marko watches you as you pull open the door to your car and more or less throw your ass into the seat.  He holds the door as he gives you one last smile, and says:

“You know, you should never invite a vampire into your life. Renders you powerless.”

And he winks. 

#marko lost boys x reader #lost boys x reader #marko lost boys #my work

[blissfulparker]

Flashing lights→prince!tom

Parings→prince!tom x princess!reader

Summary→when two kingdoms come together to form allies, A marriage between you and tom will hold that bond. you and tom have to learn to love each other. In front of cameras and media it’s love at first sight. alone it’s scarce touch’s and innocent looks scared to know each other.

Warnings→arranged marriage, small talks of smut, slowburn

Wc→3.5k

A/n→ this was requested from someone who donated. If you donate to a blm campaign I will write a request for you! I am still doing this and a few other blogs are too! Every penny and every signature counts. Your voice counts💗 also there are going to be two parts and this is just part one!!!

England's golden boy. That's what he was. The oldest prince that was still young, his white smile mixed with the well kept curls was what made him so charming and made the girls swoon. His sweet soul and his availability when it came to relationships was what kept the media on top of him.

Although everything changed in a matter of weeks, a marriage to form allies caused tom to shut his gates and only focus on you. There were no more late bar nights, no more public sporting events, it was now only you and his new marriage. The public only got a glismpe of the new relationship that blossomed over night but was staged to be love at first sight months ago.

“That's good,” you smiled at the maid who poured your tea. “Thank you.” she nods her head before locking you back in your room.

You didn't say much when you arrived. The only words you spoke with Tom was with the media around to catch them. Tom's arms snaked around your waist acting as if hes known you for a lifetime. Sweet cheek kisses and held hands to Tell the cameras whatever they wanted to hear to keep himself high and you higher. Other than those small moments in front of millions of cameras and people, you did not say a word to tom, Nor did you see him that much. 

Your fingers wrap around the cup as you bring the warm mug to your face. You knew your duties, breakfast at nine, lunch at one, attend any meetings in between, dinner at seven where you must sit with tom, and the rest of the night is yours but you must be in your room by ten. It is recommended that you and tom get to know each other in those nightly hours but the two of you rarely did. You are not allowed to leave the castle unless Tom is by your side because if he isnt that suggests to the media that you two have split. Any activities outside of the kingdom must be done with tom or a member of the royal family. The rules were strict but easy to follow if you didnt care about breaking them.

You felt bad sometimes about not making much of an effort with Tom, you'd been here for only a week but a week felt like a month and the days felt like weeks. Tom was almost always busy as well, too busy to love his own wife.

A knock on your door pulls you out of your thoughts, you set the cup down as you flatten out your skirt walking over to the door. Assuming it's a maid, it's not. Tom stands there in a polo shirt and khakis, its his golfing outfit and in about twenty minutes he would go out with his brothers to golf. The course was private and it was always reserved for them and a few friends. You didnt know much about tom but you knew he loved golf, everyone who kept up with the royal family knew that. Maybe all you thought you knew about tom personally, the public knew it as well.

“Tom?” you look at him confused as to why hes shown up at your door at a time like this.

“Hey.” his hands fiddle with each other as it was his thing he did when nervous, he would mess with his hands or rub his thighs. It was cute, he was cute.

“Hi.” you smile and he looks past you to see if anyone was in your room.

“I thought id ask you to golf today. We should get to know each other more. I mean you're technically my wife. well.. going to be anyways.” he speaks in a stutter, you make him nervous. Your eyes bat softly before looking down at the glove he wore. You dont golf, you didn't play much sports before coming over here so why would you make a fool of yourself in front of the prince.

“I dont golf,” you get nervous, you clear your throat not trying to be rude but you can already feel yourself shrinking more and more. “Sorry.” you start to shut your door but he stops it with his foot.

“Wait!” he stops you. Speaking a bit louder and his voice carries through the empty hallway. “You dont have to know to golf, honestly most people who dont golf just steal the cart.” he lets out a soft laugh. A laugh he gives to the cameras, the laugh he gives at dinner, the laugh he gives to everyone as he welcomes them into his home. It was a sweet, nervous, genuine laugh that he gave to everyone. “But i can show you. I just thought because we dont have much time together and were going to get married in three months--” marriage. The wedding in three months that was so far but so close. Mostly for the public, the knot was technically already official but the wedding would make the public swoon. Make everyone know you two are official.

“Right.” you cut him off with your own thoughts. You look outside into the garden and in a distance there is a golf course. The land looking different from your own home and making you miss the kingdom you originally came from. Your eyes water slightly at the idea of being home. The idea of laying your head on your mothers lap as you two watched movies before being told off to bed. The beautiful thought of working in the garden with your family. All of that traded for marriage and becoming united.

“Like I said.” you don't mean to be harsh, you feel a tear getting ready to fall from your eye. You sniff and look down. “I dont golf.” you shut the door and lock it up behind. Your eyes trail down to the wedding ring tom had given to you, the ring to show everyone who you now were. Who you now loved. You could learn to love each other but you had not tried yet.

Tom stood on the other side of the door scared. The mahogany wood stares at him back and he wants to each out for the door, try again, not mess up but he knows you need to be alone. He knows you miss home and dont know him more than a prince. He knew you only knew prince tom and he was going to change that.

-

It had been two days since your encounter with tom. You had only seen him at breakfast, lunch, dinner and outside your window when he golfed. Maybe you were too harsh with him. You had spent nights standing by your bed contemplating to go to his room, apologize for what you said. Try again, try to let him know that you only miss home, you could never hate him.

Now moonlight came through your window. With every twist and turn, checking your phone to see the time had reached another minute of less sleep. It was one of the nights where you missed home a little extra, you wanted to be back in your own bed but you were here.

With a sigh you rub your face pulling yourself out of bed. You weren’t supposed to be up around the house when no one else was, you didn’t understand why but it was among the list of rules you had to follow.

It would be the first rule you had broken, opening your door with a creek, you tip-toe down the hall and down the stairs to make some tea. Hoping that will work hard enough to put you to sleep for the night and leave your worries for the morning.

You weren’t the only one who couldn’t sleep though, Tom had the same motive you did. Although he snuck out more often so he knew all the secrets of the house.

He stood shirtless in the kitchen, pulling out a mug to get ready for some tea. You pause in your steps as you see him standing. He's facing away from you, his back muscles seem to flex everytime he reaches for something, it only causes your stare to worsen.

“Fuck!” He almost shouts as he turns to be frightened by you. You jump by the sound of his voice and run your hands over your face.

“I’m sorry!” You whisper and he places his hand over his heart. He takes a deep breath before he speaks, regains his composer before starting the conversation.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked you with a cock of an eyebrow. You nod and he turns to reach for a second mug, knowing already what you wanted.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “I mean no! No I can’t sleep.” You correct yourself and he chuckles a little getting the kettle ready.

“You’re missing home.” He tells you and you walk over to him. You’re close to him, closest you’ve been to him.

“ it’s obvious?” You ask and he shakes his head.

“No,” he tells you looking over with his soft brown eyes. “But I think if I was torn from my own home and forced to marry someone random I would be petrified too.” He tells you assembling the two tea bags. You watch as he does so, how the tea bags look so small I’m his hands, how he does everything so delicately.

“Well...I’m not as scared as I was when I found out but this is all still new to me. The kingdom I mean, your kingdom.” You lean against the counter as he passes the tea to you. You smile as a thank you and he turns off the stove.

“Our kingdom.” He reminds you and you nod still having to get used to it being for the both of you.

“Right.” You take a sip and he walks over to where you entered. Noticing you not following him he turns around, his eyes soft and his face pleading for you to come with.

“You coming?” He asked and you didn’t have much of a choice. Stay here in silence or get to know Tom, your future husband. You push yourself off the counter and follow, you follow him out of the kitchen and into the large library. The library that most days seemed empty, almost no one came in here unless it was for their own studies.

Tom leaves you by the couch to start the fire pit. It’s always cold on London nights, you seemed to learn that quickly. How cold the air gets, you always bundle up with extra blankets and sweatshirts but Tom seems to be perfectly content.

He takes a seat on the floor next to the fireplace. Reaching over to the small love couch and grabbing a blanket and a pillow for himself he looks at you with sweet eyes.

“Do you want to sit?” He glances up. “Or will you stand all night.” Teasing seemed to be his sense of humor, his sense of humor that was harmless.

You take a seat across from him. He shares some of his blanket with you before finding his gaze stuck in the fire. The room was silent, there were no birds like the morning, there was no chatter of guests like the day, the golf club meeting the ball was nowhere to be heard. The only sound was silence and the void was to be filled by your voices.

“When I was a little boy, I used to sneak down here all the time.” He starts and your eyes are now on him. His face lit by the fire causes you to see every freckle, mole, and wrinkle on his face. “The funny part was I hated reading. It’s just that this room seems to be unoccupied most of the time so I enjoy the bliss of getting away.” He takes a sip of the tea, you watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows the warm liquid. You hear the mug clink with the wooden floor as he leans back watching the fire unfold.

“It’s nice, I like it.” Were the only words your mind allowed you to speak. A small smirk rises to his face but then falls, he likes the sound of your voice.

“I read a lot as a little girl,” you tell him. You’ve caught his attention. “I was all about fairy tales and my mother would read them to me all the time. I loved the written idea about princesses but that’s what they do with them, they write all the good things and leave out the bad. They never tell what happens once the people look away and the crown comes off.” You tap your fingers against your mug. He understands, he didn’t read fairy tales nor did his mother read them. But he knew that in public he was the ideal prince, behind closed doors he wished so badly for a Normal life.

He moves, leans over to touch your face, move the eyelash that bothered him. His larger fingers come into touch with your delicate skin, it was almost like he didn’t touch you at all but the short eyelash rested on his pointer finger.

“Are you going to make a wish?” He asks holding it out for you to blow. You look at him then back at the lash. You’ve never been this close to him before, so close and so alone.

You close your eyes and blow gently, when you open the eyelash is gone. Toms got a cheeky smile before letting his hand fall.

“What did you wish for?” He asked. You cracked your own smile and shook your head.

“If I told you it wouldn’t come true.” You laugh a little and he looks at you more seriously.

“Oh come on! We’re going to be married in three months. Can you at least give me an insight of what you wished for?” He lets out a little laugh and you shake your head.

“No Holland, that’s not how it works.” You tell him and he leans in again and looks in your eyes. You’ve never seen such a goofy side to him, you don’t even think anyone has seen it.

“What are you doing?” You giggle a little as he has this face of seriousness. He’s staring deep into your eyes mostly just to get you to smile.

“Oh, I was trying to see what you wished for.” He jokes before moving back and accidentally knocking his mug over. You quickly lean in to grab it but don’t realize you’re leaning on Tom. Legs now intertwined, shoulders touching and faces only inches apart. You quickly try to clean up the spill but Tom can’t take his eyes off of you. He picks up the spoon and places it back in the cup before you realize how close you are to him.

His hand drops from the mug and trails up your shoulder, he touches every mole, every scar, every bump of the skin he may feel, he stops right as he gets to the strap of your shirt. He takes it into his hand but he doesn’t let it fall.

You watch as he does so, watch as he plays with the strap and maybe you’re so desperate, tired, needy for him to do something or for anyone to do something.

“Tom,” you whisper and he Looks up. His lips only inches away from your face as you speak. You’ve got his attention and now you’re lost for words. He leans in first, you do as well and feel his lips brush against yours. Anyone could walk in, anyone awake could walk in on you two right now.

His right hand supports your lower back, it wants to trail up but to be respectful it stays in place. His lips ghost yours before you pull back in a more teasing way. He only chases them, it shows how desperate he is for them.

“I’ve never kissed a boy before.” You admit. It was semi-true, in secondary school you played spin the bottle, the times you landed on someone it was just a small peck. Nothing more nothing less. You had never fully kissed someone, locked lips, pulled them close, eyes closed and begging for more. You never had that.

“It’s okay,” he leans closer. “If you’re uncomfortable we can—“ he starts and you quickly cut him off.

“I’m not uncomfortable.” You told him and he presses his lips together looking down at yours. “I promise.”

“Do you want to kiss me?” His lips now gently ghost over your cheek, it’s almost like he’s directly speaking into your cheek.

You nod but that’s not enough.

“I won’t do anything until you speak.” He reminds you and you say in the shakiest voice you have, a soft ‘yes’ leaves your lips.

His hand now on your face, he pulls your lips into his, they fall against his. They’re warm from the tea, chapped from the lack of sleep, but feel so good molded against yours. He’s gentle but let’s you know how much he loves it. Your hands hold onto his shoulders, touching the bare skin and feeling the heat as the kiss escalates. You had never felt so good in your life before, no one had made you ever feel this good. Even if it was just one, desperate kiss.

He pulls back, you catch your breath and want to lean in for more but he moves back. The sun is coming up, you didn’t realize how much time was spent down here, what felt like minutes was truly hours. His thumb rubs your cheek, reaches up to feel the bag under your eye before he plants a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“I should get you to bed, it would be irresponsible of a prince to let his princess lack sleep.” He told you. His cheeky sarcasm comes back as he stands up from his spot. He holds his hand out for you to take and it’s almost like what happened never did. Like it was just in the fairytales you read.

Cups and blankets left in your spot as you get started to leave the library. The fire still burns and it was obvious the two of you were down here but like Tom said, no one ever went down there.

He holds you close as he sneaks you back into your room, when the sun comes up the maids start to come out, get things ready for the day before everyone wakes up. For Tom, waiting until the last minute to sneak back to his room was always a part of the no sleeping fun.

“Prince tom? Princess (y/n)?” A voice stops the two of you. Tom turns around seeing a maid, a maid with towels walking down the hall. He always treated them with kindness, he knew all their names, all their stories, he knew everything about them.

“Eve!” He smiles and she gives a strange look. “The princess couldn’t sleep! I offered her a midnight stroll that clearly was longer than expected. We’re going back to our rooms now to sleep, don’t be worried if she is late for breakfast, the princess needs her sleep.” He tells the woman and she nods. He gives her a soft smile before making it back to your room.

“Thank you.” You tell him when he opens the door for you, not only for the door but for everything he’s done for you tonight.

You turn around, place a soft kiss on his cheek before holding onto the door handle.

“Goodnight Tom.” You smile softly. His cheeks rose red after you kissed just the one. He bites down on his lower lip and nods.

“Goodnight princess.” He watches you close the door before going back to his own room. He almost skips in joy as he goes back. The point of tea was to sleep, let his mind slip and fall back to sleep. Now his mind was racing, he wasn’t going to sleep, he would think about you and your lips, how sweet they were and how they were just like you.

That night in the library was only the start to something real, something the media and your families wouldn’t understand.

Permanent Taglist: @parkershoodie​ @dahliaspidey​ @parkersvibes​ @itssss-a-bean @ppkrtingle​ @myfinalwords​ @bocauhl​ @tinyplanet-explorers​ @sincerlyfan @softbaby-tom​ @awesomeblackcottontail @rosebeegraham @stormyholland​ @unicorn-princess-1999 @spideyyypeter @marshyrebelcloud @oh-epiphany​ @yeahimcrying @highlydisfunctional1 @disgustangg @pterstingle @quacksonhq @starlightparker @reblogsfics @tomsrebeleyebrow​ @dreamyyholland @imaginashawnns @alilpunkrock @peterspideysenses @lovely-valllll @lowkey-holland @hannaholland1811 @kthemarsian

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #prince!tom #imagine tom holland #tom holland fan fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland smut #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fic

[fairycosmos]

hey, i have a sister who struggles with addiction. she moved out from our parents to my place when she turned 18, so that she could have some space and that her highs and lows wouldnt affect our younger siblings that much. but shes been going through a hard time for quite long now, which causes her to treat us around her like complete shit. her behaviour led into a pretty bad argument, which led to me driving her to our parents in the middle of the night cause i couldnt mentally or physically handle the shit she was giving me anymore. after that night, she never returned to mine and told our parents to pick her stuff and move it into a new apartment that she got for herself (which locates in the same building as her friends who she uses substances with). she hasnt reached out to me at all, even though we have been around each other and i cant bare to approach her either, cause im still upset and hurt. my mom said that shes already prepared to lose her. i heard from her friends that shes told them that if she goes unconscious, theyre not allowed to call the ambulance or try to help her. i am worried sick to my stomach everytime i think about her and i feel so powerless. my parents just say that theres nothing more we can do, she goes to psychotherapy and shes under the social services but still i feel like we should do something more to help her or to stop her from destroying herself. im so sorry if this message makes you feel uncomfortable, but since ive followed you for quite awhile and i know your experiences with these things, i would appreciate if you could help me with this situation or at least try to give me some advice, how to cope with these feelings that come from loving your sister that struggles. i dont want to lose her.

hey, i am so sorry to hear this. there's a lot i could say and a lot i want to say but can't really articulate. i don't think there's any one size fits all advice for such a complex and heartbreaking situation. i guess i'll begin with what i'm sure of, and that is that your boundaries and feelings are justified. addiction literally rewires your brain and perception of the world beyond recognition, to the point where the only thing the person cares about is their vice. it's just total tunnel vision, selfishness denial and violence on top of selfishness denial and violence. being around ppl like that, especially a loved one, is beyond exhausting, it's its own special kind of hell. like screaming at a brick wall. it's totally understandable that you had to take a step back after falling victim to her erratic, manipulative and abusive behaviour. the drug use explains it but it absolutely does not excuse it. you're really brave for putting your foot down and prioritizing your own mental stability when it all got to be too much. know you never have to regret that. having said that, it's possible for two conflicting feelings to coexist and for them both to be (for lack of a better word) valid. she's your sister - of course you're worried, of course you're terrified for her. of course you love her even while feeling like you hate her, at times. it's alright to let your emotions be illogical, to just weather the storm and let them pass through you. write it down, talk to your loved ones, maybe consider speaking to a therapist or hotline over it. it's perfectly normal to need that support and talking through your circumstances may be illuminating/lead to some personal revelations regarding how you want to approach this. ultimately, you're angry because you care. after a while i was like that too, with my sister. although i tried to let her know that i was more worried than frustrated during our conversations, sometimes i still couldn't help the internal rage. all because i wanted her to wake up to reality and for her to be okay - i didn't get her thought process at all, didn't get her version of the world. and i felt so fucking powerless because she just strayed so quickly from her path, despite what she was telling me, despite her being relatively fine mere months prior. despite us being best friends and on good terms. it's a headfuck, and you don't have to know what to do, you don't have to have anything figured out. just try to focus on what you need, today.

the hardest thing to accept is the fundamental truth of the situation, and that is that you can't fix this for her. can't love her out of it, can't enable her out of it, can't fight her out of it. all you can do is be there for her emotionally while still maintaining the appropriate boundaries necessary to preserve ur own mental wellbeing. it's completely okay if you need more time - i know you said you cant bear to reach out to her at the moment, which makes total sense. but since you sent this message and i can still see that you're beyond concerned and it's only getting worse, maybe you could consider calling her or sending her a text or meeting her for coffee when you're ready. just to let her know you haven't stopped thinking of her. and that you care about her so much, that when/if she's ready to get help you will be with her every step of the way. even if shes battling addiction for the rest of her life. if she screams at you, if she breaks down, if she ignores you for what you say - fine. but at least she'll know on some level that she is not alone, and at least you'll know you did what you could with what was in your control. also about her being under social services - is there any way you could get in touch with them, maybe explain that youre still worried about her and that you think she needs a higher level of care, maybe ask them if theres anything proactive you can do in collaboration with them to maximize the help shes getting? i dont know how it works where you are, that might be a no go, but i just thought i'd mention it. i'm sorry, i know it's a disappointing answer, but i really don't realistically think there's any other. there's only so much of this that is in your hands and so far it sounds like you've done and are doing everything possible to stay sane while looking out for her. i really really hope something clicks for her and that she starts to listen to you and her loved ones soon, that she begins to approach recovery out of the genuine need to get better. but it really does have to come from within her, all you can do is encourage it. im sending you both so much love. i know more than anyone how fucking stressful it is to have to wake up to this every day, and i'm so sorry. if you need someone to talk to, my inbox will always be open. you deserve peace in your own life, too. take care x

resource one

resource two

resource three

#tw addiction #tw drugs #anon #talking

[perhapsthanatos]

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

© perhapsthanatos (efa)

#efa writes! #im on my bathroom floor LOSING IT #its 3 am & the more i read it the more i hate it #yuta #nakamoto yuta #nct yuta #nct #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #yuta imagines #yuta timestamp #yuta drabble #yuta blub #nct imagine #nct drabble #nct blurb #nct 127 blurb #nct timestamp #nct 127 drabble #nct 127 timestamp #nct fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct angst #nct 127 angst #badboy!yuta

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Rabbit. Chapter Two Part Two

Draco x Hufflepuff reader

Tags; @khemz1312 @trashyvicks @dracoslittlesunflower @dracmalf0y-dm @rosiehufflepuff @goofygobber @shinsouscatpisssmell

W!Heavy Ptsd, mental freak outs. Hearing voices, blood, bruises, cuts. Draco trying to convince himself he’s fine. Refusing to ask for help. Mental instability. The voices are the Dementors

After two years in Azkaban for how he treated you he was finally free. The only thing keeping him going was you. Now finally reunited with his Rabbit he thinks things will go easier for him. But Draco is struggling mentally and refusing to ask for help, but his only hope might be the person he despises the most

Draco did not return to the bedroom, he ran his hands under the cold water staring at them watching the blood run down his wrists down to the drain of the sink trying to think of a way around this… what could he do ? he needed help… The man shook his head at just the thought of him asking for help. “Rubbish.” he slapped the water off drying his hands on his briefs and going to check on you to see you asleep.

Its dark there huh?

Like the cell

“Shut up…” the tired shaky man shook his head going back to the living room, his vision was dizzy and he had to drag himself along the wall so he would not stumble and fall.

Why do you even bother?

Coming here?

“B-b-because..”Draco fell into the back of the couch seeing Biscuit asleep on his pillow and quickly went around the furniture to scoop up the rabbit holding him close to his chest. He let out a heavy sigh of relief once he felt Biscuits cold nose against his chest sniffing around. “I ,.. Wanna be with her…” he laid down on the couch with the curious bunny on his chest. He shook his head several times trying to get the voices to subside..

But does she want to be with .. you?

“She does.. “

Draco did not last long in the dark; he had gotten up and turned every light on except for the bedroom . one thing Draco did learn in Azkaban was that the Dementors hated the light. So every night he would sit under the window in his cell hoping the moon would be full and bright enough to shine in on him… But even with all the lights on he still saw darkness when he shut his eyes…

He was back on the couch with Biscuit on his chest again trying to think of something else, anything else. He wanted to share the bed with you so bad.. He longed for that moment with you. To have you snuggle against him .. tracing your finger on his chest.. Telling him stories .. cuddling up to him when you get cold.. Did you have any cute sleeping habits he wondered.. And did you prefer the middle or the edge of the bed.. Did you like to sleep in …?

“Rabbit……”

What if you get worse?

You already broke a glass, remember?

“Shut u-u-p…” he was starting to sweat, a long bead of it sliding down his head. We miss you Draco

Dont you miss us?

“N-no..” his hands found his hair digging into his locks. “I .. “

We love you for who you are Draco.

“You bastards made me this way..!” he sat up and Biscuit hopped off his lap scaring Draco, he jumped shielding his face till he realized it was just the bunny. “Im…” he wrapped his arms around himself feeling very sticky and uncomfortable all over, his skin felt like it was crawling and his bruises ached again with each heave of breath he took from his chest. “Im fine…”

You are fine , Draco.

Perfectly fine

Your fine

Your fine

Your fine…

Your ..fine

You-r fi-ne…

“SHUT UP!!!” Draco threw himself on the floor hitting his head hard on the wood making the voices subside, he stayed there for a minute, crying.

**

In the morning you had woken up to an empty bed and every light on in your home. Quickly you jumped out of bed rushing to the living room to see it empty. “dr..Draco..”

“Yes Rabbit?” you heard behind you.

You whipped around seeing Draco with a towel around his neck and sweats on him. You clung to him sighing with relief. “Nothing.. Goodmorning.”

Draco squeezed you tight, wrapping an arm around your back and head giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. Draco had passed out from exhaustion last night around 3 AM and woke up not too long ago drenched in a cold sweat with Biscuit wiggling his nose on his cheek . he had no idea when you would wake up so he had to hurry and cover his tracks.

“Good Morning Rabbit.” Draco squeezed you again and you slipped free taking his hand.

“I'm thinking.. We go get some clothes today?”

“S-sure.”

“And i think the twins opened their shop up again, maybe we could .. go check it out? Everyone deserves a good laugh sometimes..”

he was nervous.. It would be crowded in the twins shop...

Why dont you just run away

Come back to us

You cant handle things on your own anymore

You cant handle this-

He shook his head bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss it. “Sounds good, Rabbit.”

The shopping went.. Okay.. there's only so many choices in Diagon Alley after all. Simple dress clothes and a couple loose shirts was all he needed. All though you insisted he get some more clothes he could relax in .

“Draco dont you want more loose fitting things?”

“D-dosint ma-matter Rabbit” he was having a hard time talking to other people. Everyone he ran into asked him about Azkaban and you had to step in and change the subject before Draco blew up at them. You noticed he did not walk the same way he did in Hogwarts; back then he had his head in the clouds, his ego on his sleeve, his attitude front and center and that damn smug smile he wore on that damn grumpy face.

Now he looked over his shoulder, shook his head, faked his smile and rubbed his hands alot to keep himself from scratching his arms. You noticed he only did it when the wind blew and were growing more and more concerned about him. Something was wrong, something awful must have happened in Azkaban… but the real question was would he ask you to listen to him explain… anyone… someone.. You loved Draco Malfoy, but you worried for his health too.

“Hmm.. im going to get you a few more . ill be right back “

“O-o kay, ill be .. at the twins shop”

You turned to grab his hand “you sure youll be okay alone?”

Will you?

We dont think so

You wont be alone Draco

….you will have us…

He shook his head and pulled you in for a hug and kissed your lips. “Im sure, Pet. no go get me something nice yeah?” he patted your head, getting a small smile out of you.

“Yes, Draco” you teased him hurrying off into the clothing store again. It warmed his heart a bit.. He loved the teasing .. he wanted more of it. He wanted hsi days to be full of it…

Its a shame…

...that this will not last..

..but….. Everyday you go on..

...brings you closer to us…

“Shut.. up..i shouldn't be able to hear you in that bloody twins shop … “ Draco stumbled turning around to make hsi way to the very eyesore of a shop.

*

Loud. it was loud. It was crowded and people were everywhere laughing, playing jokes on others, playing music, things were flying around, confetti and the likes. People shoving to get to the next big attraction and shoving all kinds of colourful candy in their mouths. Draco flinched every time someone touched him. Usually he would yell and shove back but .. all he could do now was cower and look over his shoulder . his head was quiet, for once. He could not hear the Dementors in here and the shop was well lit too making it easier to keep them at bay.

Draco maneuvered the shop looking for the twins , it should not be too hard. All the Weasleys have this unique look to them. Draco moved to the center of the store when someone bumped him trying to get by making him jump and stumble into the desk hitting his hip, someone else pushed by and he white knuckled the furniture starting to breath heavily.

Draco…..

Draco…….

Draco……….

“Dammit.. Shut up….” he pulled himself up looking over the people seeing the twins at the back of the store. Carefully he made his way to them and they both saw him and waved.

“There he is !” Fred said.

“All is right now yep” George added.

Draco was holding his side trying to stand up straight and look intimidating but the look on his face told the twins he was afraid.

“Bloody… twins.”

“Thats us!” they both said with pride.

“Wheres… Pottah…..”

They looked at each other and then Draco, getting a good look at him.

“You okay Mate?” Fred asked , helping him steady himself

“How is y/n by the way?” George asked.

“Shes f--f-f-ine, “ he shook Fred off gulping down a breath. “Where. Is. Pottah”

“Uhm.. top floor actually, hes getting some things for his kids.” Fred pointed.

“Thanks..” Draco shot them a look with a slight nod and made hsi way up the steps to the much more empty area. He spotted Harry looking over some joke spells in a book . Draco tried to be quiet but…

The boy who lived?

Draco stumbled into a desk making it squeak, Harry looked up from the book and quickly put it down to go to Dracos side. He was struggling to stand and breathe.

“Draco…? Are you alright?”

“Sshh--shut up…-”

Yes ,,, Draco …

Shut him out…

You dont need him

You only need us

...you only need… us

Harry helped the man anyway and Draco slumped into his side cursing himself. Harry helped Draco to an empty room and shut the door, carefully he sat the man down in a chair and sat down across from him not saying anything. Draco was a mess inside and out right now, he hated Pottah, hated everything about him , how dare he refuse to be his friend all those years ago? That duel… that damn… quidditch match… that damn….. Bird …

Leave..

Leave

Draco, leave

You dont need-

“P-p-pott-ah,.....”

Dont.

“I … n-ee-dd,....” he dug his fingers in his hair whimpering in front of this man .

Harry instantly knew something was wrong, he stayed as calm as he could.

Draco Malfoy of Slytherin... the smug, man who did not care for anyone else at all , only himself. Never asked for help from anyone, did things his way… picked on whoever he wanted...not a care in the world… was whimpering in front of the man he hated most. On the verge of a breakdown.

“I need…..”

DONT DRACO!!!

He looked in Harrys eyes with heavy tears falling down his face… staining the wood table. “I need help……………………..please………………”

#draco 😤 #draco x hufflepuff reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #.RabbitFic

[pikapikabishes]

It's Okay Now(Kirishima x gn!Reader)

Disclaimer: all characters rightfully belong to their original creators, only thing that is mine is the plot. Also do not copy my writing. Thank you

Summary: Class 3A's Y/n was having a jolly day hanging out with the BakuSquad, including her amazing bf of over 6 months, Eijirou Kirishima, even with all the stress piling up, like a shaken soda bottle ready to burst, until said explosion finally happened. Triggered by the littlest, probably stupidest event

Warnings: anxiety (?), panic attacks, not eating for days, mentions death, suggestive themes, a bit of swearing

Mentions: mental breakdown, overworking oneself, starvation, hyperventilating, ugly crying, kiri being absolutely biggest sweetheart, daddy!Kiri breifly

A/n: this is my first fic on Tumblr so please be nice, and if you enjoyed it, like and comment

Everything hurt. My head, my eyes, my chest, my mind. I don't even know what happened. One minute I'm perfectly fine, having a good time with my friends, the next I'm in this situation.

Im sitting in the middle of my dorm on the floor, crying and sobbing over the smallest thing. I admit being stressed with everything going on in my life; with upcoming school exams , training every single day to improve my ultimate moves, and the biggest clicher... my dad's passing a couple months prior.

This whole time I've just been bottling it all up, trying my hardest to put up a brave front as to not worry my mom, who already has a lot on her plate, my friends and boyfriend, Kirishima. To be frank, I haven't even told my class or Kiri, keeping a bright smile as to not hint them in on my life crashing down around me. Some days are easy to keep up my smile, to let my mind focus on something else, and then there are harder days when everything reminds me of my dad.

I was real close to him, we did a lot of fun stuff together; going to amusement parks, going out to see movies we both were really excited to watch, going out to eat at our favorite restaurants.

It still doesnt feel real after all this time. It felt just like yesterday he was perfectly fine, we were celebrating my grandma's birthday, and literally the next day, I find him stiff and eerily still in his bed. And then everything crashing down on me as the paramedics regretfully tell me that my dad was no longer of this world, when I sob into the phone to my mom that my dad was gone, when I listened to my grandma's wails as my mom told her of her son's passing.

It all felt so surreal, like if I go over to see my grandma at her house, I'll see my dad sitting there in the living room, greeting me with his smile and warm hugs and kisses.

I sob harder as I remember all the times we watched Disney movies and me crying at some scenes as my dad happily comforts me. Buying me a toy from one of the movies I adored at the time. Him gifting me a puppy when he moved into a new neighborhood and I didnt have anyone to play with.

My head's pounding, a deep pressure in my brain, as I clutch tightly to the same doll he bought me all those years ago. My screams silent as I try to keep my classmates from finding me in such a pathetic state and worrying about me, my brain not processing that everyone was still at school. I fought to take control of my emotions again, wanting to be strong for my mom, grandma, and my friends. Unknowning of the pace of my breathing as I desperately tried to grasp my emotions.

My stress and anxiety climbing higher with each panicked breath. All those late nights I stayed up studying as much as I can for the midterm exams, catching up to me. I even forsaken eating as to study so I can at least get a passing grade. And the times I didnt spend studying was spent training to try and get my mind to focus on anything rather than fully face the reality that I no longer live in a world with my dad in it.

When was the last time I had a fulfilling meal? Three days?? And the time before that?? I dont even remember, the pounding in my head preventing me from thinking too much. All I can think about is what caused this stupid meltdown in the first place, my frustrations climbing higher with my stress and anxiety.

~~~

Today was one of those days where it was hard to keep up my smile for people. In an attempt to cheer myself up, I made myself the same lunch my dad and I used to make together for later, excited to eat as this was my first actual meal in days.

As I stroll down the hallways to meet up with Kiri and the rest of the BakuSquad, someone in a rush, bumps into me full force, causing me to fall and drop my lunch on the floor. I only had a moment to grieve as I see my precious lunch splattered all over the floor before the person that bumped into me uttered a measly, rushed "sorry" before hurrying on their way, stepping my lunch in the process.

I stayed there in my position on the floor, looking at my lunch with grief. I know it was stupid to start crying over something that can be replaced with something else that Lunch Rush made, but there the crocodile tears were. My heart and mind had wanted that lunch.

Without thinking I got up and ran out of school and towards the dormitories, deaf to the calls of my fellow 3A classmates and the incoming call on my phone.

~~~

I was brought back to the present by the sound of pounding coming from my dorm door. I was still fighting for control, not able to send a reply without my sobs mixing in with my voice.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" A familiar voice sounded through the door. Of course it would be Kiri to be checking up on me. "I tried calling you to see where you were, but you didn't answer. Tsuyu told me she saw you running off upset when I went to go looking for you."

For some reason I sobbed harder, barely able to keep quiet.

"Princess/Prince, please tell me what's wrong, I'm getting really worried."

He stayed quiet for a moment, anxiously waiting for my response. And of course my body betrays me when an ugly sob wracks through my very being, unable to quiet it down.

"Princess/Prince, are you crying?!" Kiri's voice carried his panic and worry. "I'm coming in!" He warned before slamming the door open.

I barely raised my head to meet his worried crimson eyes as his giant frame took up most of the doorway, frozen. His expression falls at the sight of the giant crocodile tears running down my face, distress written all over my expression.

Without saying anything, he rushed over to my side, his big, warm hand landing on my back, immediately rubbing gentle circles as to comfort me.

"Baby, what's wrong? Tell me," he asked, voice trying to soothe me. I shook my head, unable to say or utter a word and I dropped my head again, breathing erratic. "You're hyperventilating, baby. You need to try and calm down a bit."

More sobs was the only thing I responded with. Hearing some shuffling, a moment passed before a soft calming melody sounded through the storm in my mind, along with the sound of gentle falling rain. It was the same several hour music track that I would usually listen to when something was bothering me.

I've always loved the sound of falling rain and ocean waves.

Kiri dropped his phone to the floor, letting the music wrap us in its soothing melody. He brought his hand to my cheek to gently bring my face up and face him. His expression sad as he gets a better look at my distraught, of the crocodile tears streaming down my face, of the deep sadness in my eyes.

Letting his other hand to join my face, he gently wiped away my tears as I tried to control my breathing. "Baby, you have to calm down. It's okay now, I'm here," he said in a gentle voice, bringing me up onto his lap, and wrapping his strong arms around me.

I clutch onto his uniform jacket, burying my face into his chest as I sobbed away, ruining his uniform with my tears and snot.

He gently rocked the both of us, bringing one of his hands up to my head as he softly brushed his fingers through my hair. "Shhh, baby. It's okay. It's okay," he whispered in my ear.

I don't know how long we sat there, listening to falling rain, Kiri rocking us, whispering calming words into my ear before my breathing was back to normal and my sobs turning into sniffles. Even long after I've calmed down, Kiri still held onto me tightly, grounding me from the storm whirling in my mind.

Only when I lifted up my head from his chest to look up at him did he give me a soft smile, reaching up to brush away strands of hair from my face and eyes. Then, Kiri reached over to his phone, pausing the music before turning back to me.

"Feeling better?"

I slowly nodded my head, my voice hoarse as I finally managed to give a reply, "Yeah, a little bit."

"What happened back there?" Kiri asked, his brow furrowed in worry.

Tears were already welling up in my (e/c) eyes, my bottom trembling as I fought to hold back the tears. Kiri reached up one hand to hold my chin, his thumb softly brushing my bottom lip.

"Please baby, I hate seeing you so distraught," he told me, eyes full of concern as he continued to stroke my bottom lip, as if trying to coax the words to come out, to explain what was paining me so much so he can fix it.

"I-" I stuttered, sniffling back the tears. "I miss him."

"Miss who, baby?" Kiri asked, confused.

"M-my dad," I said, voice now shaky as the tears started falling again. "I m-miss him so much."

Kiri seemed to come to the conclusion that I might have only been extremely homesick. "Why dont you go visit him today then? It's Friday, so you can just stay with him for the weekend."

I violently shook my head. "I-I can't."

"Why not, baby?" He started stroking my back again to try and comfort me.

"H-he died! Two months ago!" I sobbed, pressing my face to his chest again.

"Oh fuck. Shit, I am soo sorry baby. Why didn't you tell me?" Kiri asked, hugging me tightly to him. "I would've been there for you."

"I-I didn't w-want to w-worry y-you," I cried.

Kirishima started rocking us both again, his grip on me tighter as if trying to hold me together. "Of course I'm going to be worried baby. I have been worried about you. I noticed you've been distancing yourself for a while now, but I didn't want to make you talk when you weren't ready. God, I'm so unmanly, not realizing that you were in so much pain all this time." He placed his hand on top of my head. "I am sooo sorry, baby."

I sniffled, shaking my head. "D-Don't be. I w-was the one who d-decided not to t-tell any of you g-guys. I-it's not your f-fault."

"But why didn't you tell us baby? You know we all would've been here for you."

I shrugged. "I-I just wanted to be s-strong for y-you guys. I d-didn't want to w-worry any of you."

"Oh, babe." He pulled back enough to look at me. "You are strong. But it's okay to lean on us, on mee. Just because you're crying, doesn't make you weak. You're mourning, and its okay to cry when you're mourning. It just shows how close you are with your dad and how much you're missing him."

"But... But it feels like my fault though," I cried.

"What do you mean?" His brows furrowed again in confusion.

"I... I was there that night. The night he passed." I wiped at the tears even though it was fruitless with how the tears continued to fall. "We were all happily celebrating my grandma's birthday. We were all laughing. And I went to sleep a bit late that night. I noticed how his was position in his bed when I got up to use the bathroom, but I didnt think any of it. My dad sits in that position sometimes, and I know that he goes to sleep way later than me. And when I woke up at 11 the next morning because of my grandma calling for me, I got up to see what she needed. You remember, that my grandma cant really move around that well anymore?" I asked him.

Kiri nodded his head, remembering that I helped my grandma when the two of us had dinner with my dad and grandma. "So when I got up and headed towards her room, I saw my dad in the same position. But figured he must've just fallen asleep... Then I went to use the bathroom after helping my grandma, and when I looked closer, I noticed how swollen his feet were. I... I knew my dad was always sick and his legs getting swollen all the time, but... I-I just didnt think I'd find him like that." I cried, covering my mouth as another sob wracked threw me. "Vomit... All over the blankets and his bierd... A blood clot hanging from his nose-"

"Shhh, its okay, baby" Kiri hushed me, rubbing my back, "If it's too much for you, you don't have to explain anymore."

After waiting for my breathing to stabilize again, I continued, "I... I just feel like if I had checked up on him before I went to bed... Maybe... Maybe the paramedics would've been able to save him..."

Kiri grabbed onto my shoulders to pull me away so as to look me dead in the eyes with a stern look. "Y/n, listen to me. It is not your fault," he said firmly. "Okay? It is not your fault. Sometimes these things happen."

"But-" I started, but he cut me off.

"No but's. Okay? I know I havent known him as long as you, but I could tell from the first time I met him that he was soo proud of you. And probably still is." His words made me cry harder, my bottom lip trembling again as I tried to pull myself together in front of this amazing man in front of me. "There's no need to beat yourself up over this," Kiri said, pressing a kiss to my forehead as I started bawling my eyes out again. Kiri started rocking us again, holding me tight as I let out all my sadness and anguish.

"Shhhh... It's okay... Everything's will be okay..." He mumbled in my ear. "Let it all out."

We stayed like that for the next hour as I let out all my suffering, the scent of his cologne, the comforting words, and the sound of the music track all lulling me to sleep, my mind and body too heavy to fight it off.

~~~

I woke up to a dark room, the sun long gone over the horizon. I blearily blinked my eyes open, feeling my tears dried over the skin of my cheeks. All of a sudden, a warm hand slides under my shirt, rubbing a thumb on my stomach. A face was then buried into the back of my neck, a soft pair of lips kissing at the skin.

"Morning beautiful/handsome," came Kiri's sleep filled voice

"Mmnn what time is it?" I mumbled.

Kiri pulled away for a moment, turning to reach behind him for presumably his phone on my nightstand. Squinting at the glare of the phone, Kiri gave me an answer, "7 o'clock at night, so its just about dinner time." Dropping his phone back onto the nightstand, he resumed his position of spooning me, completely dwarfing my body with his giant frame. "You haven't ate lunch right?"

I shook my head. "Or breakfast. Or dinner last night. Or any meals for the past few days."

"What?" Kiri shot up, glaring down at me. "And the time before that?"

I shrugged, my brain too drained to think of a solid answer. "Couple days."

"Y/n!"

"I know, I know. I shouldn't be skipping my meals everyday. I should eat at least once a day."

"Is that why you look thinner? Cause you've been skipping your meals??!"

I shrug at him. "I was busy studying for the midterms. Besides I never went 3 days without eating something."

"That's not the point!" Kiri rubbed his hand down his face before looking at me with worry. "You shouldn't be skipping any meals or overworking yourself like this." He reached over to brush a lock of hair away. "Babe, my heart hurts at the thought of you not taking care of yourself."

I place my hand on top of his, leaning into his touch. "I know... I'm sorry. I didnt mean to worry you like this. I just... couldn't come to terms with reality so I busied myself to make me forget the pain. On the bright side I came up with this new, awesome ultimate move I've been dying to show you," I said with some excitement, trying to cheer him up.

He scowled sternly at me for a moment before sighing, shaking his head, any trace of worry and frustration gone from his face as a small smile took over his lips. "Alright fine." But then the stern look came back as he firmly told me, "But I'm not letting you skip any meals anymore, even if I have to force you to eat. And you're not doing no studying or training this weekend."

"Wait, but-" I tried to counter, stopped when the stern look in his eyes intensified.

"No if's, and's or but's. Unless its yours up in the air as I fuck you so hard you wont be able to do anything this weekend but relax."

I blushed and swallowed loudly. "Good, now wait here while I go get you a plate. Bakugou's supposed to be cooking tonight." He leaned down to plant a kiss on my lips. Then another. Then another and another before pulling away only slightly to look into my eyes with that familiar dark look in his eyes, a smirk forming on his handsome face. "Maybe I should grab you two plates. You're going to need it for fuel for tonight."

My faced burned as I realized what he meant. He chuckled darkly before standing up and walking towards the door. "I'll be back in a few. And you better be stripped down to nothing by the time I get back." Turning back towards me with a seductive look. "Don't you worry about a thing, baby girl/boy. Daddy's going to take real good care of you this weekend." Then he opened the door and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

I gulped loudly, already feeling that familiar heat down below.

It was going to a long weekend.

#gender neutral #anguish #daddy kirishima #mentally drained #kirishima eijiro x reader #my hero academia

[abimee]

how do you fill sketchbooks in two months..... what do you think is good art advice? you dont have to andwer this of course but your art is very good and unique and i would love to have the same grasp on humanity that you do

first off i fill a sketchbook im two months (typically one sketch every month 1/2 actually) by just not drawing unless i want to. like i dont go "i wanna draw" then sit myself down and force an idea i wait until i go "i wanna draw X and Y" then ill sit down and draw. i like never push myself to draw ever even if i "want to" but dont bave any ideas, and ill take days away from it at a time so it never feels like a chore or a task and usually ill stack up drawing ideas and come back busting out 4 pages of art ideas in one sitting. also dont be afraid to just draw some half assed stuff sometimes (a lot) i just draw random body parts or arms or the same head. i repeat concepts a lot too or i just draw big instead of detailed bevause i dont draw for consumption o draw bevause i want to so ill repeat the same idea 100 times if it gets me excited to draw

and honestly i think anhthing can be good art advice because theres 1000000 of people out there that throwing somerhing at the wall will certainely revolutionize and change one persons life for tbe better of it. but at the same time i dont think art advice works at all and the best advice is what you can personally take away from someones art without them telling you, because you can recognize the aspects you most care about and attempt to understand how the artist does tbst vs an artist telling off advice /they/ ythink is good but are unsure if good for you

other art tips. dont be afraid to obscure the body in art like obscure face arms stomach the amorphous blob silhoutte is really good and your art comes off more dynamic/strong if parts of the body are obscure to the viewer

dont fall into the idea of a "finished" piece. any piece of art is finished if you say it is, it dorsnt need color or lighting or even clean lineart to be finished

ugliness is the natural existence of humanity. beauty is a false creation one has to "make" themselves so if you draw a hand "ugly" or weird know that it makes it more organic. asymmetrical faces or one eye being bigger than the other? people will say you capture natural humanity in your work. human bodies are not symmetrical perfectly shaped beings and so i think this strive to make the "perfect" hand or an "anatomically correct" face sort of scrubs the life from peoples art. plus just draw a weird hand go to bed and look at it in the morning and youll realize nobody is going to care it looks off because hands loom off in reality too here watch this

weird hand and wrist right? so its fine

final thing i can think of is to worry less about the anatomy and just go head first into concept. draw someone squatting even if it looks doodoo dogshart. try perspective even if it looks wonky. thetes more charm to trying and suceeding badly than refusing to try at all

like these two are super weird in perspective but they look better now that ive tried than if i kept a flat front-facing perspective. trying looks cooler than refusing to do it even if when you try it looks bad. so try

[smokahuntis]

Teacher

Pairing: Fives x Reader

Warnings: Guns, Fluff

Summery: Fives finds himself liking the princess of Alderaan

Authors note: I hate it, it’s cringy, but it’s my first time with fives so idk, maybe it’ll get better! But let me know

—

It’s been weeks, weeks of watching her, guarding her with their lives. How they got assigned to this post they didn’t know but it was their jobs now. Both Fives and Rex were now body guards for (y/n) the princess of Alderaan. After weeks of protecting her and basically following her around like lost puppies, even when she claimed she was fine. Fives finally found something he had in common with her, something they actually got a long about.

Weapons, she was really interested in their guns and how to use them, even tho she herself was never allowed with one since her father saw it as unprincessly for her to carry a weapon. When Fives first found this out, he joked that her father had never met Padmé Amidala, it was the first time he made her laugh. It was the time he started to try and do it a little more. He even tried to teach her how to use his gun. Those were his favorite parts of the day, and Rex helped him do it.

Rex was standing guard for them, as he would normally do with fives but now it was just him making sure her father didn’t see their evening activities.

“Move it up a little more” fives said helping (y/n) as she aimed.

“It’s heavy...” she complained softly causing him to chuckle and move behind her, his arms wrapping around her, caging her in as his hands laid over hers, helping her hold the gun right.

“It wouldn’t be so heavy if you would hold it properly” he said in his deep tone, helping her line up with the target.

“I am holding it properly!” She protesting, turning her face to look at him.

“Who’s the teacher?” He asked looking at her soft eyes, she pouted in response and looked at him.

“You are...” she said quietly before looking back at the target. He nodded and slid his finger over hers in the trigger.

“Now, just squeeze...” he whispered in her ear before the gun went off and she hit the target almost perfectly. She smiled brightly and looked at him excitedly.

“I almost got it!” She chirped happily as he rubbed her back and nodded.

“You did! Good girl” he praised as he looked down at her, it was her smile that caught him each time, wanting to see it more and more everyday. Rex heard his praise from when he stood away from them and rolled his eyes.

(Y/n) however blushed at his words causing him to smile a little more before shaking it off and focusing again.

“Okay, why don’t we try to hit the farther target this time” Fives said.

The training section went on for a few hours before she was tired and ready to go to bed. He quickly put his blaster away and led her back into the castle, taking her up to her floor.

He watched every step, every movement and noise she made, along with the way her hands would moved a little closer to him every once in awhile, or how she kept glancing at him. As they approached her door she looked at him and smiled before looking at Rex

“Can I speak to Fives alone please, Captain...?” She asked sweetly, and he gave a single nod before walking away to leave them.

“Is everything okay, princess?” Fives asked looking at him, a little worried as he looked at her. Thinking maybe he over stepped today.

“Yes of course, everything fine, Fives” she smiled at him softly as she looked at Him. “I just wanted to thank you, for letting me do this with you...” she said reaching out and taking his hand softly “no one has ever been so kind and patient with me, I know I can be a handful sometime and I’m just... happy you can handle that...”

“A handful?” He chuckled looking at her, honestly confused on why she would say that. “Maybe a handful of sugar cubes” he teased as he looked at her. It caused her to giggle before she heard footsteps coming down the hall, pulling away from his hand quickly he nodded understandingly.

“Well, goodnight princess, and I hope we can do this again tomorrow...” he said lightly before putting his helmet on and walking away.

That night he couldn’t keep quiet about her, Rex just sat and listened to him go on and on about her eyes and her voice until fives finally said. “I want you to help me”

“Help you?” Rex asked finally looking at him, confused on what on Alderaan he could need help with.

“I want to spend the night with the princess...” he said looking at Rex, Rex say up pretty quickly and looked at him

“You’ve lost your mind, Fives” Rex argued

“I have not!” He quipped looking at the captain.

“She’s a Princess! And you want to sneak into her room!” Rex said looking at him “you’ve lost it, Fives”

“Just- help me” he said looking at Rex, he sighed and leaned back.

“How...” he asked looking at Fives.

It was the next day, after (y/n) was already in her room, getting ready for bed. Fives knocked on her door, only to be greeted by Agitha, her Handmaiden that absolutely despised them. He knew she’d be here that’s why he brought Rex.

“What do you two think you’re doing here so late?” She asked looking up at him and Rex. Rex was quick to take of his helmet, along with fives.

“Miss Agitha, I- Rex here... he’s a shy guy, and he’s been talking about you nonstop- and he really wants to ask you for a walk...” Fives explain gesturing to Rex, a very annoyed Rex who was covering it up the best he could.

“Rex?” Agitha asked confused before smiling at him, she’d always had a thing for Rex, well at least they thought, she stared at him whenever she could. “I’d love to take a walk with you but I should really tend to the princess”

“I’ll tend to her” Fives spoke up again. “Plus, now is the best time to go, while the moon is at its peak” he smiled coyly before Agitha nodded and walked with Rex.

Fives slipped into the room, finding the princesses at her desk, “who was that?” She asked thinking Agitha had came back.

“No one important...” Fives answered trying to sound like a woman. It caused her to turn quickly and smile when she saw him, moving to hug him quickly, taking him by surprise. “Oh-“ he said before wrapping his arms around her and dropping his helmet to the floor.

“What on earths are you doing here?” She smiled moving to look at his face, she didn’t get to see him much together because she was quite busy.

“I wanted to see you...” he said softly as he smiled down at her. Moving his hands, taking off his gloves so he could touch her softly.

“This late?” She asked softly, cluelessly.

“Princess I-... I really like you...” he said lifting her chin with his warm fingers, delicately dancing in her senses as she looked at him with soft eyes.

“You... you like me?” She asked, she didn’t need to ask, she could guess but she wanted to hear it again.

“I do... I really like you...” he said lowly before she leaned up and kissed him lightly.

He was taken back and pulled away looking at her to make sure it was real before he dove back in. Connecting their lips again, the kiss only getting more heated as they moved slowly with each other back to the large bed. He laid her back gently, before going down down to taste the sweet sugary taste of her lips. Loving the feeling he got from being like this with her. He didn’t even know how long he was kissing her until the door opening and he sat up seeing Agitha and Rex.

“I’m sorry...” he could see Rex mouth before Agitha was storming towards him, grabbing the fire poker from the fire place.

“Agitha!” (Y/n) sat up to stop her, getting up from the bed quickly “Agitha dont! Don’t!” She grabbed the stick from her quickly.

“He was gonna touch you!” She protested.

“It’s okay...” she grabbed her shoulders looking at her “it’s okay, Aggie...” she sighed and looked at her before looking at Fives and then back to her handmaiden. “I started it...”

“You started it?” Agitha and Rex asked at the same time, both of them blown away for different reasons.

“Yes... I like him...” (y/n) said lightly as she looked back up at Fives and smiled walking over to him slowly “I really like him” she smiled and kissed him again, this time sweet

“Holy Kimino...” Rex whispered, he honestly thought he’d never see the day.

Agitha sighed, she’d basically raised the girl and taken care of her her whole life, to see her with someone, let alone someone who’s not Royal, it hurt, knowing that she was growing up now. “As long as he doesn’t get you killed...” Agitha said

“My job is to keep her safe...” Fives said pulling (y/n) closer, his large hand on the small of her back, protectively as she put her hand on his chest.

“Just protect her...” Agitha said crossing her arms

“With my life...”

Tag list : @hxldmxdxwn @blxwjobsforclones @onabouteverything and who ever else, I don’t have a tag list for any of the clones yet but let me know

#star wars x reader #star wars #Fives #fives x you #fives x reader #Captain Rex #clone wars #clones #star wars x you #star wars x y/n

[shuatoyou]

hello!! can i request a fake dating f2l au with joshua w a bit of jealous joshua and mainly fluff with a teeny bit of angst thanku!

here’s the long awaited request anon! thank you for this i hope you enjoy reading as much as i enjoyed writing.

fluff with some angst i think?

joshua x reader 

wc; 1,896

“y/n are you bringing a date to the wedding?” your mom curiously asks while you observe the dress you had on in the mirror in front of you. the question makes you turn around to face her.

“um no?” you hesitate and your response makes her look up at you.

“bring your boyfriend sweetheart.” she smiles diverting her attention to the dress you had on. “that joshua kid, he’s your boyfriend right?”

“yeah! o-of course” you stammer on your words hoping your mom would take no notice and turn around on your heals swiftly facing the mirror watching your reflection panic.

you and joshua were not dating in fact you doubted he would have any feelings for you whatsoever seeing as you were best friends, however he was a regular plus one to the family events because of them constantly getting on your case about dating and it would be embarrassing for them if their only daughter kept attending these events alone after all they boasted about your social life. so joshua continuously offered to attend alongside you and pretend to be your lover which was a role he played successfully to your luck.

you walked out of the dress store shortly parting ways with your mother to go back to your home with the new dress for the upcoming occasion.

you walk in to your humble abode dropping all your bags down beside the sofa and letting yourself fall onto the soft seat. truthfully you dreaded asking joshua to go to this wedding with you as your date mainly due to the fact you had some unrequited feelings you’d recently develo=ped towards the other but you knew it would be even more awkward asking someone else from your friendship circle so he was the only answer at the end of the day.

picking up your phone you dial joshua’s number startling once you hear his soft voice come through. 

“hey y/n whats up?” joshua asks cheerfully making you close your eyes tightly at the tone of voice that always gave you butterflies.

“nothing much, i was just wondering if you were free this weekend?” you ask him as confidently as you can.

“are you asking me on a date?” at this point you knew he was smirking as he asked that.

“no but i do need someone to go with me to my cousins wedding this saturday. you’re being weird though maybe i’ll ask jeonghan instead” you somewhat tease knowing the boy will object.

“you better not, of course i will be there as your date” he emphasises on the date and you can feel a blush creeping up to your cheeks

“yes you will. my dress is light blue” you state nonchalantly notifying the boy.

“bet you’ll look great, i’ll find a tie to match.”

his sudden compliment catches you completely off guard and its evident as you barely manage to let out a small ‘okay’ a few seconds late causing joshua to chuckle over on his end knowing he had this effect on you.

“bye y/n” he exclaimed before abruptly hanging up. 

you groan into a pillow frustrated wondering how you would get through the weekend, the answer should be like all the other times but you felt nervous nevertheless.

joshua eyed you intently watching you walk over to him with your dress flowing all princess like around you and every little detail such as the colour and the fitting of the stunning material complementing all your features.

“hi” you both breathed out at the same time making eachother giggle in unison.

“you look amazing” joshua smiles opening the door to his car on the passenger side, a gentlemanly courtesy from the one and only gentleman. you blush getting into the car ready to return a compliment to him as he gets in to the driver seat to drive you both to the venue, however nothing leaves your mouth. perhaps it was the nerves.

the drive is filled with joshua talking about his week with you commenting here and there whilst trying to avoid glancing over at him, nodding your head to the music playing quietly from the radio.

thankfully the journey wasn’t longer than twenty minute, at the hall you step out of the car only to be greeted with joshua offering you his arm which you shyly accepted either way as you walked in and began greeting your family with joshua beside you attracting stares left and right.

“y/n sweetheart!” your mother rushes up to you giving you a hug which made you untwine your arm from joshua’s to return it.

“i see you brought your handsome boyfriend” she winks causing joshua to widen his eyes and laugh at the suddenness of her compliment. you glanced up to him to see his cheeks flushed which you found endearing to say the least.

“you guys are sitting over there” she points over to a table a few steps away. “whenever you’re ready come join us” the last words are spoken and soon enough your mother is gone to deal with other business.

joshua turns to you, instinctively you turn around to face him.

“should we go sit down now?” he speaks out watching your gaze soften as you listened to him speak.

you nod so he reaches to hold your hand and leads the way to the table, the sudden action shocked you so you stopped at a halt making joshua stop with you.

“is something wrong?” he asks eyes showing worry.

“no... just- you’ve never done that before” you mutter looking down at your intertwined hands.

“sure i have, but i’m especially your date for tonight so i think i have the privilege to hold your hand even more.” he winks before continuing the way to the table and even pulling out your chair for you to sit making the adults at the table coo at his gentlemanliness.

the entire night joshua spent talking to you, making you laugh here and there at the little jokes he would throw in, hearts doing backflips unknown to one and other but you couldn’t help enjoy the company.

he left momentarily for the bathroom leaving you alone until another figure approached you tapping your shoulder to gain your attention you respond by turning around to see your childhood friend who you immediately stood up to greet the individual.

“seungcheol? it’s been a while!” you exclaim, eyes widening trying to adjust to the new appearance of your long time friend before pulling him into a hug.

“yeah we’ve both changed a bit clearly.” he chuckles looking down at his own suit once pulled away.

“sit, im sure my parents would love to see you again!” you speak out pointing towards the nearest chair as you sit down on your own.

joshua returned to see you in deep conversation with the boy unknown to him the pang of jealousy hit hard causing him to frown at the male at the center of your attention making you laugh like he was earlier. silently he approached taking a seat in the next vacant chair as his previous one was now occupied by the stranger.

it wasn’t long before you to noticed joshua’s presence and you wasted no time introducing the two to each other.

“joshua this is seungcheol, we grew up together and seungcheol this is my date joshua” you introduce the two boys to each other both of them passing on friendly smiles before turning their attention back to you.

“oh are you guys dating?” seungcheol asks genuinely curious.

you stutter unable to answer the sudden question however joshua speaks up anyways. “yeah we are” he reaches to hold your hand repeating the action that turned you into a flustered mess but you nod anyways going along with him.

“im happy for you y/n! i hope you both last a long time” 

seungcheol’s words had more of an effect on you two than expected and it was the same for joshua who you felt squeeze your hand gently.

“anyways, i’m going now but i’ll see you around?” seungcheol gives you both a little wave and you nod in return before watching him walk off. you turn around to joshua straight away only for the boy to let go of your hand and more immersed in a glass of wine.

“you’re gone red” you poke at his cheek snickering ever so slightly making joshua put down his treasured glass to look at you with a blank expression before turning away again. you huff getting up hoping for a slight change of expression from the boy but to your dismay - nothing.

a slow tune started playing and you glanced around to see guests getting up to join the slow dance at the centre of the hall. you sit back down only for joshua to get up this time and hold out his hand to you. puzzled, you give him a questioning look.

“dance with me” he mumbles and you dont waste anymore time giving into dancing with him despite your heart racing like crazy.

to be honest you could barely concentrate on dancing with joshuas hands resting on your waist with yours around his neck. his touch felt like fire and you couldn’t help but feel warm inside despite your nerves now skyrocketing.

“you haven’t given me much attention tonight” joshua spoke with a low tone down into your ear as you both swayed to the gentle music.

“w-what do you mean” you pull back slightly to see his face better but regret it almost immediately realising how close in proximity your faces were.

“i thought it was obvious.” he chuckled and you could feel your heart racing at a dangerous number of miles per minute. sure you were a little bit oblivious but you were scared of misunderstanding his words so you stayed silent not breaking eye contact waiting for him to continue which he did.

“i like you y/n” he muttered once again into your ear, you felt his breath fan your neck sending shivers down your spine and your cheeks burning. the fact that your feelings were not so unrequited brought a lot of shock to you but you couldn’t help the smile now taking over your expression out of happiness.

joshua examines your face searching for an kind of indication you were okay with his confession before setting his gaze onto your rosy lips. you dont hesitate before reaching up to connect your lips that went together perfectly.

the both of you pull away first aware of your surroundings and it wasnt long till both of you were betrayed by the visible blush forming.

the song finally came to a halt and joshua led you outside where it was quieter.

“so what do you say? we should date for real now right?” he’s close to you again and hoping you cant hear the pace of his heart.

“not how i expected to be asked out at someone elses wedding but yes dummy we should” you laugh out lifting up your hand to push back his hair messing it up as joshua’s arms find their way around your waist again pulling you closer to him.

“good” he whispers connecting your lips once again both of you smiling into the kiss feeling pure bliss and completely content with the events of the night.

#anon!! #joshua request #enjoy <3 #seventeen #seventeen blog #joshua hong #joshua #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen request #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #f2l

[underwaterdogballs]

The Birth House - Ami McKay

[ im only a new reader, so im still working on the reading daily thing ]

time it took me - 2-3 days (i was really into it lol)

published - 2006

pages - 368

TW for book: physical abuse, sexual abuse, sex scenes, sexism, violence, teen pregnancy + birth

chapters - 47 + epilogue, and there are notes from the Willow Book at the end (i actually typed the whole thing up lmao ( x ) )

genre - historical / realistic fiction

5/5 stars (but my standards are really fucking low, so don’t trust me)

honest opinion - I loved it. It was a great book for me. I loved the MC (stands for Main Character), and it was just a great book all around. I can't put my opinion into words, but I'd highly recommend it, but if you've faced sexual abuse and/or teen pregnancy I might pass it up, as it may be triggering.

basic summary (no major spoilers) (im writing this 3-4 months after reading the book, so sorry if a bit inaccurate) - 

Takes place in 1910s-1920s (WWI), Nova Scotia. Basically Dora Rare (first daughter in 5 generations of Rares), is drawn to Miss Babineau, a midwife and eventually after a few years becomes a midwife herself. But soon Dr. Gilbert Thomas, comes by and brings promises of quick, painless birth, and now many people start to question Babineau’s methods. Miss B disappears, and now Dora has to fight for her traditions. 

in depth ‘summary’ (spoilers. and a whole lot of them) !!CW!! physical abuse, sexual abuse(?), few sex scenes - 

Alrightie, buckle up.

“On the evening of a full moon in June, Silent went out in his canoe to catch the shad that were spawning around the tip of Cape Split. As the night wore on, Annie began to worry that some ill had befallen her love. . . . She walked to the cove where they had first met and began to call to him, promising her heart, her fidelity and a thousand loves to his name. The moon, seeing Annie’s sadness, began to sing, forcing the waves inland, strong and fast, bringing Silent safely back to his lover. Since that time, every child born from the Rare name has been male, and even now, when the moon is full, you can hear her voice, the voice of the moon, singing sailors home.” < why all Rare children have been men (for past 5 gen) >

Dora Rare is the only daughter in 5 generations of Rares. When Dora is first mentioned, she is 17 years old, and has 6 older brothers. Marie Babineau drags Dora to Mrs. Experience Ketch’s 13th kid, which would be a very prominent memory. Anyway if she didn’t give birth to this child today, she’d die. So she did, but she did not want her child. She pushed him away. So he died. Mr. Ketch is not deserving to be called a father, but here we are. Being the 1910s, he was a sexist wanker. “’I don’t trust nothin’ that can’t piss standin’ up.”’ like bitch who the fuck do you think you are?? 

Mrs. Ketch is a victim of serious domestic abuse, if the amount of children didn’t tell you otherwise (women can choose to have this many children, but... holy fuck.)

Archer, someone who Dora is sorta fond of (its been a while, dont remember her feelings), didn’t wish to fight in the war, but Grace and Precious really didn’t fucking like that. “’If I could, I’d march through Europe myself, killing Huns right and left, gutting them with a bayonet and crushing their skulls with the heel of my boot. But I can’t, and neither can any other woman who might wish for victory over evil... and neither can these boys who are too young to serve their king.’ She glared at Archer. ’But you can’” Mate. Take notes from Mulan. Masquerade as a man and beat them all. Fucking coward.

After Archer drags Dora to an empty room, Dora starts to become a horny fuck, and he begins undressing her, she mentions that that was her first kiss, and this Archer hoe backs off, and leaves.

Dr. Thomas comes bearing promises of quick and painless births. He makes Miss B and Dora seem like they’re using wooden tools and sawing a woman in half to get her baby out and taping her back together. Like stfu.

Well, a chapter or 2 later, Dora learns that she is marrying Archer, and she can’t refuse it. 

A couple pages later, on the start of chapter 18, B orders Dora to get her 2 long-handled spoons and to grease them up with tallow, to get a teacup cover out from Grace Hutner’s sweet spot, cause she’s a horndog.

On the day before their wedding night, Archer wants Dora to give him a bj. A motherfucking blowjob. As a thanks for the permission to marry him. 

“Come on, Dorrie. Just get on your knees. It won’t take long, no one needs to know. Now open up that mouth and take me in.” im not even going to say anything.

Anyway, the day before Dora has to marry Archer Bigelow, Miss B dies. :(

Archer wants Dora to give up the midwifery stuff (i think its sorta cool tbh, but k mate). This horny fuck wants sex every damn night. The book mentions the ‘supposed to hurt the first time’ and ‘breaking a woman in’ and just to let you know, the book talks like this bc it’s set in the 1910s-1920s, but irl, it doesn’t have to hurt the first time, i don’t think (but i havent fucked yet, and i dont plan to so idk), and breaking a woman in makes it sound like an object of some sort. 

On page 174, Archer attempts to punch her, but he misses and makes a hole in the wall. 

Dora gives in to sex when she doesn’t want to, and bc of her ‘obligations as a wife’  he treats her more like a sex toy than a human being. (not every guy is a piece of shit in this book, just most of them)

She heads to Dr. Thomas through a friend or her familys advice, and is diagnosed with hysteria, which is probably just ignored horniness, or a high libido or smth, the Doc basically uses a vibrator thing on her and the book states it’s better than what she’s felt in the arms of her husband.

(im wrapping this up cause my fingers are cold)

Influenza starts to pop up, and after Dora is outcasted for her practices, she goes to one of her older brothers.

Brady Ketch, husband of Experience Ketch, dumps his beat up and bruised pregnant 13-year old daughter on Dora’s doorstep, she dies, but delivers a perfectly healthy baby that Dora adopts as her own, and names Winnie/Wennie or whatever the fuck her name was.

After she comes back, she turns back to midwifery, and bars Dr. Thomas with a pitchfork after he attempts to interrupt a delivery (not Ketch’s daughter, as she died in childbirth) (obvi)

Archer dies out in sea, after Dora didn’t give him a thing known for protecting sailors from drowning and to bring them home safe and sound. But Archer has a brother, Hart, and claimed that he always had feelings for her, and he was disgusted at how he treated her. Dora doesn’t marry him, but stays as his lover. Also, the epilogue is about electricity coming to Scots Bay.

#The Birth House #Ami McKay #McKay #book #review #recommendation #rec #books #genre #historical fiction #fiction #realistic #realistic fiction #medical fiction #summary #book summary #book summaries

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: One Problem at a Time

Summary- Curtis x Y/N. You and Curtis reunite, deal with some issues in the valley and reconnect 2 of the groups. Tension between you and Curtis. Warnings- Violence

Word Count- 5.3k

Chapter 6 / Masterlist

The firing from above was surprising, You and Johanna witnessed Wilfords old guard squad shout out in alarm and close ranks retreating. Johanna lowered the rifle, and breathed out hard enough to flip the hair that fell in her eyes back. “I dont know who it is... but they are pushing them back.” You sneak a peek out to see if you can catch sight of anyone, but thats when you hear the cry of alarm behind you, and you pull back, disappearing inside. Following your name being cried out, you see where someone got a ricochet. It had luckily lost some of its momentum, but still embedded enough to cause blood to blossom all over there shoulder and clutch at it to stop the bleeding. 

“Shit” You try to drag the man into the nearest light without making yourselves possible targets. “Shirt off... Whats your name?” You ask as you maneuver him, grabbing the hem of his shirt and start to pull it over his head. 

He grunted as you lifted the shirt over his head. “Mickey... we was trying to get the kids into the back once we heard the firing started, but not fast enough apparently.” His eyes watered a bit, but other then that, he stayed perfectly still. 

“Yea it got pretty dicey there for a bit. Does anyone have a knife?” You start hold out your hand till someone shoves a military grade blade into it and you start cutting off pieces of clothing off one of his shirts, and directing him to sit down, so you at least didnt have to go to your tip toes to dig out the shard. “Okay Mickey, Im gonna be as quick as I can, promise. Just please dont move.” 

“No worries Miss, I can handle it.” He took a deep breath and nodded in affirmation that he was ready. Lets get this done, you coached yourself, never actually having removed anything like this. Your head tilted and the tip of your tongue stuck out as you started to use the tip to wedge along one side. Mickey was true to his word and stayed still, allowing you to dig further into his flesh till THERE, the tip slid underneath and you could pop it out “Got it!” 

Wadding the piece of cloth against the seeping wound, you are careful not to touch anything as his blood was all over your hands. “Be right back, keep the pressure on it.” John stepped in to monitor him as you make your way back to Johanna who was looking through the scope up at the cliff. “Son of a bitch, hes gonna do it....” 

“Safe to go out and scrub my hands you think, and do what?” You question as you look over her shoulder, and Johanna drops the scope to look without the assistance to the top of the cliff. “This bastard, hes gonna jump down., OH HELL THERE HE GOES!” This is when you lean out and your jaw drops. 

Curtis pulled back the rifle when he thought he saw you, holding his breath, hoping for another glance, anything to confirm it was you he saw. Rolling away from the edge, and up to his feet, he paced the edge for a moment. “I gotta get down there now, do we have any rope?” He asked the person closest to him, the man shaking his head and asking another nearby. Resounding negatives sounded, and Curtis just didnt have the time to search the train cars for any. Looking over the edge, he studied the way down, noticing small juts of ice build up on what he guessed were ledges, he formed an idea. Was it crazy? Most likely, but what the fuck. Sliding the rifle strap over his shoulder, he held it out to anyone close by. “Give me an axe, Im gonna need you all to cover me while I make my way to the train car.” 

The man whom he had asked for rope earlier looked down the side as if studying what Curtis had been looking at, frowning for a moment in thought, then his eyes widened. “Man you cant.” 

Curtis didnt even pause as he hefted the axe, checking it was one with the sharper blades, and swung it around in a loop once, twice, three times to loosen his good arm. “Man I am.” 

“Thats could be a damn suicide jump. Your gonna break your legs, even with the deeper snow at the bottom, you have no clue whats down there!.” 

Curtis shifted to the edge, turning his body so that his good side holding the axe would be close to the cliff wall. “Yea well, I might not know what, but I know who is down there, and who knows when those fuckers will be back.” 

CURTIS EVERETT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DIE, YOU AND ME BUDDY, WERE THROUGH. 

No were not, and I will be fine, trust me. 

Trust you? Fucken hell Curtis your lucky I do. 

Thats my girl. 

And it seemed like he just stepped off the edge, plunging the axe into the snow and ice on the side, it slowed him down slightly in his descent, and he was able to steer himself enough to land on the ledge he was aiming for. For all of five seconds. 

It gave out from under him “Oh shit” he exclaimed as he dropped down, trying to smash the axe head back into the side, it finally went in, but he just sped up more, bouncing off the wall once in a while, fuck his ribs. Well they are definitely broken now if they werent before, and all around him white rolls of snow started shifting, and racing down with him. Soon it was enough to be considered an avalanche, and he landed heavily at the bottom, a dumping of snow landing on top of him. 

You jumped out of the train, with Johanna leaning out trying to catch you and stop you from taking off. But you rolled out of her grip. “Y/N! Come back, its not safe!” But damn it, you werent paying attention to anything but Curtis falling down the side of the cliff. HE JUMPED! THAT BASTARD JUMPED, GOD DAMN IT CURTIS! you screamed internally as you plowed your way through snow almost to your knees, falling every now and then, and struggling to get up, the whole time your panicked mutters of “nonononono” filled a bit of the silence after the snow crashed on top of itself at the bottom. By the time you reached the cliff face, all around you was just white swirls where the snow had yet to properly settle. “Curtis! Where are you?” You yelled out, looking all around you, but nothing, just white. Unsettled wisps blowing in your face. 

“Come on baby, answer me” your voice is starting to panic as you start searching under you, for anything Curtis shaped. If hes trapped under the snow, hes going to suffocate, sobs of fear escaping, and tears brimming your vision. You plunge your arms into what looks like the deepest snowbank and dig like your life depended on it. It did, it did depend on it. Why was he so fucken stupid? Jumping off a cliff, god damn you Curtis, if you leave me alone here... Your wheezing, completely unaware he had come up behind you, and in true Curtis fashion, he grasped your hips and swung you around. Shocked, your looking up at those familiar blue eyes, adrenaline had blown his pupils wide with the rush, and he to is panting, clumps of ice and snow in his beard and his whole face is red where it had been covered in snow. For seconds your just staring at him, but then, you let him have it. 

Your fist comes against his chest in a rage, bouncing off his pecks, and your just raging at this point. “what the fucken hell Curtis, you could have DIED! You idiot! Died, dead, gone, no more, do you hear me?!” He allowed it for a bit, but then he caught your hands and drew you in as the sobs of fear broke from you, struggling in his hold and grabbing his face, that damn face you love so damn much it hurt, one you were so scared for and mad at and just beyond relieved to have back because you were hurting all over and wanted to sink into his arms and be told that it was gonna be okay, that damn face. You crashed your lips against his, kissing him fiercly and possessively, only breaking apart when the loss of air burned your lungs and your head swam with dizziness. 

“Dont you ever do something like that again! God your such an Idiot, I love you” your forehead leaning against his, and his eyes looked in yours and you could see that he would again without question, and before he could say that, you nip his lip softly to keep him quiet and roam your hands over his chest and pull back. You werent allowed to go to far, as he yanked you back  in, his own hands searching you for anything out of the norm, cupping your face and placing a softer, but no less desired kiss on your lips “I wasnt going to leave you down here baby, I thought Ive lost you endless times over the past few days. I knew I saw you. I had to get down here. Especially with those fuckers coming for you.” 

Your hands slide into his coat, and that familiar warmth starts to seep into your burning cold fingertips and his oversized hands wipe your face dry, kissing across the cheeks and your nose to calm you down, leaning his forehead once more against yours. “You couldnt ask me to leave my girl here and not to to get to you, right?” And with that, your anger dissipates much like the remaining snow crystals in the air that swirl near you, your combined heat melting them away. Relief floods you and you sigh, leaning into him, God I need you so damn much. His arms enclose you and for the first time in days your okay. 

“All of it, they said they were just toying with you the entire time.” You breath out and pull back enough to look at him. “Did you get all the way there? I assumed so once the train derailed.” 

Curtis was going to have to tell her all that happened, and that was the big news about her brother, in that he was dreading. Not that her brother was alive, but what they twisted the man into. He nodded, and decided it would have to be later, once they were safely settled, could he break the news to her then. “Yes, we lost good people.... but they got me to the front, got me to Wilford. Come on, we have to get out of sight. I have a few people up top to cover us.” You didnt inquire anymore at the moment, following along in his footsteps as best as possible, your hand still fisted in his, loathe to let it go. You could easily see he was hurting, the way he took jagged steps. But you woudnt know more till he would really let you look him over No guns had to be fired, and maybe there luck was turning around. 

Johanna had the gun trained on Curtis till You stepped around him and waved your hand that it was okay, and she pulled back. As you two approached, Curtis climbed inside and held out his hand, greeting her with a thanks. “Damn glad Y/N had you with her Johanna.” She nodded her your welcome and turned to you. 

“If your planning on moving anyone, theres a couple who are beat up pretty bad. Your friend Sara is definitely suffering from blood loss, and we got to relocate a few shoulders.” Hearing the women discuss the injuries, Curtis was relieved it wasnt anything worst. But as he caught sight of the survivors, he knew why. There must be more casualties then survivors. They were a weary bunch, the kids all huddled together, sleeping or whispering to themselves, adults wandering back and forth unable to relax, some leaning back against the wall, holding there arm or shoulder from where it came out of joint in the fall. “Has anyone been able to go through the cars?” Curtis asked as you came up beside him. 

“No, once we landed, I got the kids to gather supplies, and then the guards tried to collect us. We bolted right out and headed to the cliff face. Others followed us. Paul told me that his cart had usable food in it and thats as far as we've been able to plan ahead." John came up to join them, listening in and introducing himself to Curtis.

"Probably would have either went into the other cars today, see if anyone survived the night or tried to find a way up. These are all the back end cars.... Short of the protein blocks, no other usable supplies. Old threadbare blankets, maybe some clothing." John mentioned, leaving Curtis nodding in agreement. He was right, all the usable supplies were in the front, they went through several freezer carts of beef and chicken, a garden cart, a bit of live stock in another, even an oversized tank that might still have usable food in it, he was sure once the train derailed any heating system went off, and it might all be frozen solid. And then not even mentioning supplies such as medicine and other goods. As Wilford mentioned before, it was an entire enclosed ecosystem. One that Curtis ripped wide open now.

"Theres a group up there waiting for us... The last of the tail enders and a few others, simple fact is we gotta move everyone up. Safer for us to be in a group then spread out, especially with Wilfords old buddies.” Curtis said that last part sarcastically, and you glanced at Curtis. 

“Well we cant climb up the way you came down, especially with people like Sara. Someones got to find a trail if there are any” 

So it was decided a couple would go look along the cliff face, see if there was a reasonable way up, John volunteered along with another man. They bundled up as best they could, blankets draped over there shoulders and they warily started along the trail you and Curtis made earlier. Now onto the next issue, You knew you should have taken care of the out of joint patients, more things like clothing was needed, some of these people were shivering with blue lips and fingertips. Fuck what a disaster. All of it. A hand came to your back and Curtis slipped up behind you as you watched the two men continue down your trail. You leaned back into his chest, and closed your eyes for a minute. Letting everything just go still inside you, just having him back eased you a bit. 

“We will be okay babygirl, get them all up and continue on our way.” His fingers brushed aside your hair laying against your neck and he dipped his head to kiss the curve, his lips soft brushes along the length. You enjoyed the sensation for a few moments, familiar and warming. But then enclosed when his hand moved to settle on your stomach and hold you in close, your breathing hitches. Why? Whats wrong? And you fight out of the haze clouding your mind, and pushing his hand back and away, turning to face Curtis. “We probably better get to those patients. Help me with them?” You brush past him and head into the back, frowning at yourself for how you just reacted, knowing exactly what it was, but admitting it was an entirely different story.

Curtis was surprised when you pulled away, about to stop you and ask what that was, but it had been hell for the past few days, so it would be understandable if you werent yourself. Following along with you, you were talking to Sara, who Curtis vaguely recognized from the back end. Lifting the rag she had used to keep pressed against her shoulder. “Im sorry I didnt get this out sooner Sara, but I got to now.” Another mistake, you think to yourself. There is a bit of redness and streaks blooming around it. Fuck why didnt you take care of this last night. With the way she was shot, you were sure there might be more then just a slug embedded in there. “Come on, lets go in the light.” You two go forward and as you pass Curtis, you encourage her to continue where Johanna was perched in the doorway, watching. 

“Curtis we definitely need more clothing, something for at least the kids to wrap up in. They will freeze with what they have now out there.” Your almost reach out to touch him, then pull back, stuffing your hands in your sleeves instead. 

“Yup, we will get it. Work on Sara and the others, we will be back soon.” He didnt push to touch you or share affection, but you tugged him back and placed a speedily kiss on his lips last minute. A ‘im sorry’ for earlier for yourself, he flashed you look that spoke volumes, then spun away and his voice boomed “Listen up, you... you... and you, were gonna be hitting up some of these cars... you....” Walking away, you felt more in control now, hearing him take control and having a plan in place. Sara was sitting with Johanna, looking exhausted, but holding a conversation. 

Withdrawing the knife you used earlier, you have Sara sit in the light, Johanna lowers back to her earlier spot, the rifle hanging out the door to keep watch. Bringing her shirt down enough to take a look at the wound, you sigh. “Like with Mickey, this is gonna hurt like a bitch. And I gotta make sure nothing is left in there.” Sara nodded and once more you dug for the bullet. Sara hunched a bit and did her best to stay still, a gasp escaping once in a while, but overall when she slouched forward into Johanna, you knew she passed out. Good, make this easier. 

“Sorry, let me just finish this and we can move her” You state and Johanna nods, moving to cradle the woman while you hear a plink! to the bullet falling out, and a few more pokes and prods, the blood seeping down, hesitant but hopeful that will finish cleaning the wound. “Okay, think shes good.” You use the rag she was earlier to put pressure on it and once it seemed to stop bleeding so much, you two move her, already Sara was stirring much to your satisfaction. “Just hang out here a bit, m’kay?” A nod and wince as she puts the rag back to be sure it wouldnt start bleeding. 

Then you went through the rest, relocating joints, checking nicks and cuts. A few people you found out had busted ribs, one had a arm that should be put in a splint, but there simply was no way to do so. “Just... keep it close to your body and dont move it. It will heal, in time.” Putting together a make shift sling with a shirt someone volunteered. Just as you were finishing up, Curtis and a few others returned, arms bundled in clothing, and as you two dispersed them among people, and bundling the kids up, you quietly ask him. 

“Was there alot.... of people... ?” 

“Yea baby, more then I thought there would be. Some of them, its hard to tell if it was before or after the crash.” He passed off a jacket to someone and looked at you. “Then there were others that just.... Its a lot.” 

You didnt push him, ask where he was going with that sentence, you had an idea of what it meant, and you didnt even want to have him have to explain his choice. People dont always survive. 

He continued, handing off the last item, and turning to you. “We only went through a few, but we cant wait any longer. And I found where those guards were hanging out, They have been collecting supplies in the further cars, as much as could be had” 

You swallow a bit, and keep yourself busy with the thought of them. “Where are they now?” 

“I dont know, they wandered away from the cars at some point. Im assuming they didnt have a aim on them up above and they werent coming back around to us.” Curtis shook his head as they started getting people up, moving them forward. “But if they do... “ Curtis rumbled softly under his breath. You pause and rest your hand against his back, inside dreading the coming conversation. He was already so on edge to them being out there. Johanna called then to you two, and John ducked back inside. “Well we found what looks like an animal trail. Goes right up along the side, and looks like its well used. Do you think... theres really something alive out there?” 

A shrug and nod from you “Were still alive, right? We can only guess as to what survived after the freeze.” 

It was painfully slow, John and Adam, as you come to find out what the other mans name was, led the group, you stayed with the kids, and helped Sara as much as she was able to stand, behind you were more of the adults, including Curtis and Johanna who were making sure no one fell behind. When you finally crested the top, you stepped off to the side, huffing with exertion, the people who had remained at the top cars were helping others inside or near some fires they all were able to start, clearly they had been busy while you all were coming up out of the valley. Curtis came up beside you, a groan of his own as his hand pressed against his left side. “Lets get inside babes, then we can take a break. We all need one.” 

Sara was collected and helped to where the other people were recovering, and Tam rushed up to the two of you once you entered the car “Hey, I got the kids, Edgar is sitting up already, and his back is looking much better.” You look confused for a moment, and Curtis shakes his head at you. “I will explain later. Thanks Tam, if everyones set, were going to go settle in somewhere for the night.” Assured that everything would be handled, Curtis led you away, these were similar to the tail end car, just with windows. Curtis was quick to find you two a empty bottom bunk. You crawled in first, and leaned against the wall, your head tipping back. Fuck you were so tired, and he semi collapsed next to you in a similar fashion. 

You turn just your head to look at him, and smile when you see hes doing the same thing. There hadnt been any chance to really just be with one another since reuniting and you reach your hand out, weaving your fingers with his. “Hey.... Thank you for keeping your promise and coming back to me.” 

He sat up a bit more and let go of your hand, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you in close, placing a kiss to your forehead, whispering. “Im sorry for leaving you like that babygirl. All I could think of was keeping you safe.” You put your hand against his mouth. 

“Handsome its fine, I know why you did it. Tell me what happened.” You inquired, and Curtis fell into how he pushed the group through each car, the ones they found that was possible to find supplies and food in for them, how the bridge claimed so many of them, one of whom he thought was Edgar, but that wasnt the case. How Nam wanted to blow open the side, jump from the train when he wouldnt open that final door, and this is where he stalled. He had to tell her. All of it. Her brother, his arm... he managed to keep it hidden this whole time, the pain a background noise at this point. 

“Babygirl come here, I just... need to hold you. I really thought I lost you.” He hauled you into his lap, and you tensed up momentarily when his arm circled around you, rubbing your lower back and side. But this was Curtis, you were safe. Under his hand you finally relaxed, and your head rested on his shoulder, he started in on the next part of his story. The rumble of his chest lulled you, while you listened. Wilford offered a deal, and Curtis admitted that he considered it. You lifted your head and looked at him. “You wouldnt have been able to live with yourself” He nodded, and leaned forward to kiss your lips softly. “Your right, I would have become everything I hated. Baby, this next part, you got to listen to me. Okay? the whole part before any questions.” 

“Curtis what is it?” Your brow furrows with concern at his words. 

“Matt, your brother... Hes alive, and he still is. I left him back at the front.” 

Your silent for a moment, and he could see your mind racing, processing his words. 

“Hes still alive... Matts still here.” And the joy that crossed your face broke Curtis heart because fuck he was going to have to tell you just how far gone he was, that there wasnt the compassionate little boy anymore. But a man with cold resolve and placed himself above the others, for he was the prodigy.  

“Baby, he isnt who you think he is, not anymore.” Curtis hands captured your face to make you pay attention to him. “Wilford trained him to be his successor, brainwashed. He has no compassion for any of the people, were something to control.”

“What? No Curtis, he loved us, He wouldnt forget, unless he thinks I let him go.” Your thoughts are spinning out of control, just what Curtis didnt want. You pull back from him then “He cant be that bad, I mean, Once I explain all that was going on, he will see.” A saddened look crossed Curtis face, reaching out to draw you back to him. 

“Baby we can try... but they were using our kids to run the train, put them right into the engine, and afterwards... Executed if they served no more purpose. Under his order, he was set on killing Yona, Nam and I if I didnt agree to there terms.” He couldnt even bring up the way your brother talked about you, the callousness of his words in discussing you, whom loved him more then yourself. 

“No... he wouldnt have been okay with it.” Your breathing grows more rapid and Curtis rubs your arms to comfort you. 

“I know baby, Im sorry... “ He was doing everything he could to calm you, but it was only setting you off worst. Again you pulled away from him, drawing your legs up and hugging around your knees, what are you not telling him? The only time you pulled away was the weeks after Matt was taken and you withdrew into yourself. “Y/N? Talk to me please?” He wants to reach for you, but you’ve just drawn yourself off, quiet as you stare ahead. 

Matt wouldnt, Curtis must have misunderstood what happened. He did what he had to to survive, the conclusions you drew. “You said hes still alive? You had to leave him behind, is he safe?” 

His hand dropped to his lap, studying you even as you waited for an answer. “He was safe when I left him and Claude. I was told you went over a damn cliff, I honestly had no other concerns.” His tone slightly clipped, and you can see where hes holding it together under a great strain. You unfold yourself, and return into his hold, feeling him once more relax being able to rest his hand on you. 

“They had Timmy, in the engine. Whatever they did to him, he was so unhuman acting. Robotic, he wouldnt come out once Nam and I secured the room.” He shifted you and this is the first time you see the tangled mess of his arm when he slid his sleeve up, deep laceration that have scabbed over criss crossing where the gears tore in, but they were still great tears, all of it swollen, and throbbing looking. “Fucken hell Curtis” You cuss as you finish rolling his sleeve up to look at it. “Youve been like this the whole time? Baby you need medicine in case of infection.” So tenderly you inspected it, you seemed more like yourself now, your mind distracted. 

Curtis remained still as you went to roll the sleeve back down, and was gnawing on your bottom lip. “God damn handsome, im so sorry.” Your hands went to his face, feeling for any kind of fever, and giving a small smile when he turned into your palm and nipped the center, kissing your fingertips before letting his head once more fall back against the wall. “You seem to not be fighting off an infection though. But I will feel better once we can secure some stuff from the medic car.” You shift to his other side so you dont risk touching his arm, rubbing your hand along the back of his neck. For now you both go quiet, just being together. This time his hand slides along the inside of your thigh, just resting warmly there. You can feel yourself drifting off, and finally he says softly. 

“We should get some sleep” He shifted off the wall, and laid down for the first time in days, waiting with a lifted arm for you to do as you always do, curl in against his chest. Which you did, you always did, and stretching out, scooting over till his arm rested over your hip, he tugged you in the rest of the way. His body is hard against your back, and his beard scratches lightly behind your neck as he placed kisses there. Nothing sexual, just a bit of intimacy after such a long time apart. You cant help but tense up, which he notices when you dont sink into him, how your breathing doesnt soften after a few minutes, and he wants to ask you, make you spill whatever it is your holding inside. But he doesnt, he just stays by your side, his hand moving to slide under your shirts and gently let it rest against the softness of your stomach. Wide awake until finally he hears you release a soft snore, a true testament to your exhaustion. 

You laid there, your fingers curled into the ticking of the blanket your laying on, your heart a quick flash patter, escape escape escape, this was fucking CURTIS. How could you feel that hot heat of panic flushing your body or that your throat was squeezing air through a straw. You waited, waited for him to tighten his arm around you as he usually did or sprawl you across his chest when he rolled to his back, but he stayed still behind you, and the tension between you two just built. I should tell him, but how can I? For whatever reason, it shamed you that you couldnt fight them off. Finally his fingers just splayed against your stomach where he worked his hand under your shirts and loosely held you. After a while, you couldnt help it anymore, falling asleep. Fuck those men for doing this to you. 

@curtisbbq​ @what-is-your-plan-today​ @p8tn0lish​ @jtargaryen18​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @thatweirdwalangpake​

#curtis everett #curtis everett x y/n #chris evans #snowpiercer #trauma #violence

[sweetiejunie]

Cupid’s Arrow

Summary: all it took was a few shots and a phone call

Genre: fluff / angst

Yeonjun x reader (ft. Best friend! Kai)

Warning: swearing • drinking, pls drink responsibly 🍻

=====================================

An arrow is said to be shaped as a concave quadrilateral. Unlike a knife, it makes it harder to be removed once you’ve been hit. It causes you to bleed out. Putting an end to the misery and inevitably, your life.

That’s exactly how yeonjun felt when he first saw you. You had shot cupid’s arrow at his heart and no matter how hard he tried there was no way for him to remove it. A perfectly crafted arrow that ensured it hit its target, him. The only difference in this case was that there was no end to his suffering or pain. Whenever he saw you talking or laughing with his other members, that arrow only got deeper making his heart twist and hurt more.

He had met you through Kai. You were in the same class and one day Kai had invited you to their dorm to work on an assignment you had. And ever since, the boys had been inviting you over more and more often.

The moment yeonjun laid an eye on you, he was gone. The way you shyly smiled and greeted them just made his heart race. You were probably the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

He’s never been brave enough to tell you how he’d fallen victim to one of your fatal arrows, he just couldn’t. In his mind you were the huntress and he was your prey. And a huntress never gets hit by their own arrows, do they. There’s no way you fell for him.

To him, you were some untouchable prize he couldn’t even dream of achieving, the one with the bow and an impenetrable heart. Little did he know, your heart had been hit. And by who? The answer would really surprise him.

It’s been a year since he’s been hit, but the arrow still stuck with him, as painful as it’s ever been. A year of all the pent-up frustration, jealously and love. Throughout that time, he’s tried multiple times to tell you how he felt, and every time he backed out at the last minute, in fears of rejection. He was about to explode and on that one faithful day he finally did. All it took was a couple shots and a phone call.

Yeonjun had tried and attempted many times to get over you. Whenever he failed to confess, he immediately wanted to give up on you in general. He assumed being friends with you enough for him but time and time again he proved himself wrong.

He always drank when he felt the pain, drinking just enough to help numb his heart. A feeling he’s gotten accustomed to.

Today, the stinging in his chest was worse than ever. He had overheard your plans with Kai to go to a some new ice cream parlor. How he wanted Kai to say no and for you to have asked him instead.

Thats how he ended up here, at McClaren’s bar, the only person spending time with him was a little birdie called jack daniel, someone he considered a close friend by this point. He took a shot, cringing as the alcohol slide down his throat, burning, but no pain could compare to what his heart was going through.

Earlier that day he saw you entering the practice room as their practise was coming to an end. In his heart he hoped you were there looking for him but instead you greeted him and the other boys and turned to Kai. He knows you and Kai were best friends, but it still hurt how he wasn’t your number one choice and probably would never be.

He remembered how you had showed Kai a picture of the parlor, the way your face lit up as you talked about how excited you were to try it. He took another shot.

He remembered how you waited for Kai to end practice. He wished you had been waiting for him instead, taking another shot.

The way you and Kai left the building together, laughing and chatting about god knows what. With each shot he took, he felt his frustration build. But that didnt last long. A wave of sadness crashed on him and he realised there was no way he could stay mad at you, no matter how drunk and/or sober he was. He just cared and loved you too much.

As the alcohol started to take effect, yeonjun felt his negative thoughts, along with his sobriety, fade away. All his thoughts, except one, you. In a way he was glad all he could think about was you, but he despised the jealousy and pain that came with it.

“Why can’t she just realise how i felt about her? I’ve been trying so fucking hard to make it obvious, why is she so ignorant?” He rambled, to no one in particular.

There was no one close enough to hear him, hell, it was too early for anyone to be at a bar, but he still continued mumbling to himself. He was depressed, or maybe it was anger? He didn’t know anymore, all his emotions were numb, creating a mess in his mind. A few more shots through his soliloquy and suddenly everything went black.

——————————————————————————

“What! You jumped on a glass coffee table?!” Kai exclaimed, bursting into a fit of laughter as you told him the story of how you wanted to test a glass table by jumping on it, breaking it in the process, obviously.

“Hey! Its not my fault it broke okay!”

“Yeah, right. The table came out of no where and got in your way right?”

“Exactly!” You said sarcastically, folding your arm in a defensive manner, “you get me. But there’s something you need to know about me Kai-”

“That you like glass coffee tables?” He intrupted with another round of laughs.

“No. It’s that I’m just really dumb,” you reponded, and with that, the entire street was filled with your laughters. Thankfully, the street was practically empty at that hour.

It was nearly 11pm as you and Kai made your way back home. The past few hours you spent with your best friend had been fun. After getting ice cream, you headed to the nearby park to walk off the calories. However, you both somehow ended up at the playground playing on the swings, with Kai pushing you, of course. You had fun, but eventually the sun had to call it a day and so did you.

It was a beautiful night, stars filled the sky and the moon hung brightly beside them. You’ve always loved stargazing and one day you hoped to be able to lie in the grass, stargazing with your favourite person.

“So... you planning to confess anytime soon?”

You chocked at Kai’s sudden question, “what?”

“Oh, dont pretend. You know who I’m talking about and i know you’re thinking of him right now.”

Blushing at how obvious you were being, you replied, “no way, he doesn’t like me. Ill just be digging my own grave.”

As if on cue, you felt your phone ring in your back pocket.

“Hold on Kai,” you paused, retrieving your phone.

‘Yeonjun 🥴💓’ you heart fluttered as the screen lit up, revealing the caller. ‘That’s weird, why would he be calling me?’ You thought.

No doubt, Kai saw the name and was now teasing you about it. Kai was the only person you trusted enough to tell about your crush on yeonjun, you didnt know him long at the time, but something about him just drew you in. You hit Kai’s arm and answered the phone, signalling Kai to be quiet.

“Hey yeonjun! What’s up?”

Kai blew a kiss in your direction and you responded by rolling your eyes and shaking your head.

You heard someone at the other end of the line but the voice that replied didn’t belong to the blue haired boy you knew.

“Um hi, is this y/n?”

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Oh hi, um so your friend here passed out and he’s been mubbling your name a lot, so i figured you were the person i should call,” the stranger said, letting out a dry laugh at the awkwardness of the call.

“What? Is he okay? Where is he?” You asked, panic overtaking you.

“Yes, he seems fine, he just had a bit too much to drink. He’s at McClaren’s.”

“Alright, thank you! I’ll go pick him up now!” With that, you hung up.

You turned to face Kai, who was looking at you with the face of confusion, “come on we have to pick up yeonjun, he’s at the bar.”

——————————————————————————

You hailed a taxi and you both jumped in. Your mind flooded with worry as you wondered what could have made yeonjun drink so much. He was fine when you were at the practice room earlier, did you miss something when you left?

The moment you arrived, you rushed into the bar, leaving Kai to pay for the ride. When you stepped in, a mixture of alcohol and smoke filled your senses but you couldn’t care less. Your main goal was ensuring yeonjun was alright.

Your eyes scanned the scene until they fell upon the boy slumbering at bar counter. An open bottle of whiskey rested infront of him. He must have had at least five to six shots. Your eyes soften at this realisation and you made your way over to him. Seeing his sleeping face, you couldn’t help but give a small smile. He just looked so... breathtaking.

Gently nudging him, you tried waking him up. “Yeonjun, wake up, we need to get you home.”

“Y/n?” He said groggily, lifting his head as he slowly woke up, smell of alcohol in his breath.

“Hey, yeah it’s me.”

“You’re not y/n, she’s out with Kai. There’s no way she cared about me enough to come here.”

Hearing this left you at a loss for words. You didn’t care about him enough? It hurt your soul knowing that’s what he thought. The only thing you cared about was him. More than anything.

“It’s been a year and she hasn’t even noticed how much i love her. I love her to point it hurts me so fucking badly. I love her more than Kai ever will. But she always asks him to hang out instead of me. I wish i was her first choice, not him,” he continued, laying his head back down on his arms.

His sudden confession left you speechless. ‘Did he mean it? Or was it just the alcohol talking.’ A million thoughts ran through your head until Kai intrupted them by coming in to look for you.

“There you are, what’s taking so long? Let’s get him and go. Help me get him up,” Kai said, not wanting to stay in the bar any longer than required. After making sure yeonjun had all his belongings, Kai slung Yeonjun’s arm over his shoulders and lead him out of the bar and into the taxi.

Throughout the entire journey back, yeonjun slept peacefully in the back seat and you didn’t mutter a single sentence, his words still on your mind.

Being your best friend, of course Kai noticed something was wrong but he didn’t want to say anything since yeonjun was around, and who knows what he will remember when he sobers up.

After reaching the dorm, you thanked the taxi driver and got out. You opened the dorm door for Kai as he dragged the drunked inside and threw him on the couch, letting out a heavy sigh from all the exercise he’d just done.

Kai followed you into the kitchen as you prepared an aspirin and water for yeonjun when he woke up the next day.

“Okay, what’s wrong? You didn’t say a single thing the entire ride back. What happened before i found you in the bar? And don’t lie to me,” he said, using his arm to lean against the door frame, blocking the exit, preventing you from leaving till he gets a satisfactory answer.

You hesitated, “i... yeonjun... he confessed before you came in. But I’m sure that was just the alcohol talking. He also said he’s hurt by how you’re always my first choice and how I didn’t care enough about him.” You let out an awkward laugh, the glass of water making it obvious how badly your hand was shaking.

Kai’s eyes widened in shock, “that’s great, isn’t it? You like him and, revelation tonight, he likes you. You could ask him again tomorrow if you want. I doubt he’ll remember any of it.”

There was silence as you tried to process everything that happened tonight.

“You should stay here tonight, it’s really late, you can borrow some of my clothes. I’ll take care of him for a while, alright?” Kai continued, taking the glass of water out of your hands.

——————————————————————————

The next morning 8am

Yeonjun woke up, head pounding, throat dry. He couldn’t remember a single thing that happened the previous night. He remembered being angry, then sad, then... nothing. He didn’t even remember how or who got him home.

The dorm was quiet, the other boys hadn’t woken up yet. It was quite early, earlier than yeonjun was used to waking up. Sitting up, he noticed the water and aspirin sitting on the coffee table.

‘Who left this here?’ He wondered, knowing his members definitely wouldn’t do that. They would have been kicking and swearing at him for making them carry him home.

Along with the pill, he downed the glass of water and stood up. He wobbled a bit, legs still asleep but eventually regained his balance and made his way to the kitchen. He heard footsteps approaching him, but he figured it was just one of the boys.

“Oh yeonjun you’re awake, how are you feeling?”

He spun around on his heels, surprised to hear your voice, a voice he would recognise before he even saw your face.

“Y/n- good- good morning,” he stuttered after getting the air knocked out of his lungs. You looked adorable, hair messy, wearing an oversized tshirt that belonged to... Kai. He swallowed the lump that formed in his throat.

“I didn’t know you stayed over. Massive headache, but I’ll get over it.”

“Drink a lot of water okay. Why did you drink so much yesterday?” You asked as you made your way to pour yourself a glass of water.

“Oh... i just... didn’t know my own limit i guess.”

Lies.

You let out a ‘hm’ in reponse. “Well, you said some funny stuff last night. Do u remember any of it?” You looked to the ground, not daring to make eye contact with him.

He shook his head.

A dry laugh escaped you lips as you contemplated if you should continue. “Well, i guess you... kind of confessed to me...” you trailed off as you felt a blush creep up to your cheeks.

Yeonjun’s mouth hung open as he looked for the right words to say. Millions of things running through his mind. Should he lie or should he just admit to it? I guess there was no point hiding his crush now, was there?

“Shit... I’m sorry if i made you feel awkward,” he looked down, hand scratching the back of his neck. He took a deep breath and continued, “I’ve liked you for almost a year now. I know you don’t see me that way and I’ve been trying to get over you for a while now, but i just can’t. Since the day i saw you, there’s been an arrow in my heart. I’m sorry.”

You dont see him that way? Gosh, he couldn’t be anymore wrong and it broke your heart. Without thinking, your arms were around him, engulfing him in a hug.

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever think i don’t care about you, because i do. I care about you more than anyone, because... i like you too... so much, since the day i met you.”

“Oh, thank god,” he let out in a breath, hugging you back, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “You wouldn’t belive how many times I’ve tried telling you and how many times i imagined you would say that.”

You stayed like this for a while, both too happy to say anything.

“You know, there’s a new cafe that opened recently. Would you want to go with me?” You asked, looking up at him, breaking the silence.

“Of course i would,” he replied, resting his forehead against yours. He was grinning like a cheshire, he had gotten his wish.

“Maybe i should have got drunk a long time ago,” he joked, making you giggle.

Just like that, yeonjun felt the arrow in his heart disappear. The once permanent scare was now gone, and he was happier than ever. All it took was a few shots and phone call.

.

.

.

=====================================

So this was a bit longer than i usually write. But i really enjoyed writing this, and hope you enjoy reading it!

Masterlist

#txt yeonjun #txt fluff #txt ff #txt fanfic #txt imagines #txt au #txt post #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun au #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun ff #choi yeonjun #txt angst #hueningkai #hueningkai fluff #hueningkai au #cute