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#okay he may be annoying and a coward and a loser and
kaiiscottage · 3 months
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Arajin appreciation post bc I genuinely like him <3
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TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 9
Echo, comming Crosshair: Okay turn around. Echo: No, the other way. Echo: The other other way. Echo: Okay, one more time. Echo: A little to the left. Echo: No, your other left. Crosshair: OH MY GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?!? Echo: Oh, I'm not there yet. But the thought of you aimlessly spinning in circles amuses me.
Echo: Where are my fucking keys?  Hunter: Echo, Omega is around, can you say it a little nicer?  Echo: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?! 
Tech: This is Hunter. He loves his personal space. *Omega latches herself onto Hunter* Tech: This is Omega. She also loves Hunter's personal space.
Hunter, texting Crosshair: Text me when you’re home safely. Crosshair: I’m home dangerously. Hunter: Stop it. Crosshair: I’m home lethally.
Wrecker: *shatters a window and climbs through it*  Wrecker: *turns around and helps Omega through it* Breaking and entering is wrong Omega.  Omega: Okay. 
Tech: May luck (and this picture of Wrecker eating shredded cheese at 3 in the morning) be with you. 
Tech: Hello friends!  The Squad: Tech: You might be wondering why I’m taped to the ceiling
Hunter: I am in charge of this disaster!  Crosshair: I have a name, you know.
Echo: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.  Wrecker: What's wrong with you??  Echo: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.  Omega: No, he means other than that.  Echo: Ohhhhhh.  Echo: I haven't slept in 4 days.
Wrecker: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.  Hunter: I’m worried about you.
Tech: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.  Echo: Actually, Tech, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.
Hunter: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!  Tech: Why would I do that?  Hunter: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!
Tech: Could you be anymore annoying?  Crosshair: Yes.
Wrecker: We’re kind of missing something guys.  Omega: Cohesion?  Crosshair: Teamwork?  Tech: A general sense of what we’re doing?  Echo: And Hunter is not here.  Omega: Oh, and that, yeah.
Tech: The adjective for metal is metallic. Tech: But not so for iron, which is ironic. Crosshair: It's 3am.
Crosshair: *sneaking in through the window*  Echo: *turning in his chair and flicking the light on* You want to tell me where you've been all night?  Crosshair: I was with Hunter?  Hunter: *turning in his chair* Wanna try again? 
Echo: Let's get personal. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to say? Tech: I need help. Hunter: I'm sorry. Crosshair: I was wrong. Wrecker: Worcestershire sauce.
Omega, when Wrecker walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.  Omega: *accidentally smacks Tech in the face with the baking sheet* 
Echo: What's gone wrong, Hunter?  Hunter: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.  Echo: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?  Hunter: Well... There’s a crisis. 
Wrecker: Omega, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.  Omega, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than her size: Spooky. 
Tech: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!  Hunter: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!  Echo: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!  Wrecker: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!  Omega: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!  Crosshair: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.
Tech: You're pathetic!  Wrecker: You're pathetic-er!  Crosshair: You're both losers. 
Hunter walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Wrecker, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.  Wrecker, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :) 
Tech: You need to stop swearing so much.  Echo: Shut the fuck up.  Tech: Yeah, that's not how you do it.  Echo: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.  Tech: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.  Echo: Shit the beep up.  Tech:  Echo: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!
Omega: If I run and leap at Hunter, he will most certainly catch me in his arms.  Omega, running towards Hunter: Coming in!  Hunter: No! I’m holding coffee!  Hunter: *Drops coffee and catches Omega* 
Wrecker: I think this might be a bad idea...  Crosshair: Don't start thinking on me now! 
Tech: Just be careful, Wrecker!  Wrecker: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Tech!  Wrecker: It's everything around me that's careless.
Hunter: I hope you have an explanation for this.  Wrecker: We have three actually-  Tech: Pick your favorite.
Echo: I have so much energy, I want to run a marathon or commit a crime... which should I do?  Hunter: Please don’t get arrested.  Echo: No promises! <3  Tech: Why not both? Get creative!  Echo: Wonderful suggestion, thank you.  Hunter: Please don’t encourage them, Tech. 
Crosshair & Omega: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*  Crosshair: We need an adult!  Omega: Crosshair, you are an adult!  Crosshair: We need an adultier adult! Get Hunter!
Tech, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?  Echo: Yeah, sure.  *A few minutes later*  Echo: Here you go.  Tech:  Echo:  Crosshair: Why am I here? 
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toysoldiers-rwby · 4 years
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How did May come out as trans to Winter? Also I love Show Your Teeth and your art is gorgeous please keep up the outstanding work :3
Thank you! My art style is a really weird combination of line and lineless so I worry people dont like it sometimes lol. Sorry this took awhile, I wanted to answer it as a short fic.
Winter was always the lead in everything. Even her sister's tenth birthday party. There were whispers around the room that May ignored. It was stupid comments by adults who knew didn't know her. They barely knew where the fuck their money comes from and didn't have the balls to say it again as the music stopped and the Schnee sisters took a deep bow to finish their dance.
May stood at the side, little ways from her annoying cousin and family. After she embarrassed Henry, they only brought May for show.
Like how the Schnees dragged their protegee eldest around.
Winter walked to their usual spot before her eyes even focused on her. "Eyes up, Marigold," Winter said with a smirk.
May glared hard, the heat in her face a mix of anger and embarrassment. "What are you wearing?" She said, hating the natural low tones of her voice. It took months to perfect her octave but she couldn't use it in public... not even Winter.
The Schnee stared at her with a condescending raised brow. Silence was louder in the right context and this one screamed 'idiot, oblivious' and 'baited.'
"A suit," Winter brushed imaginary dust off her flat chest. May looked back up at that smirk. Winter was gifted in every way May wished she was. Especially in terms of body. They were only teenagers but it was obvious Winter was going to grow into a beautiful women while May...
May growled, glaring at the floor and glancing away.
Winter invaded her brooding space, arms crossed over that flat chest. "It's weird," May said.
"And I should care what a silver medal thinks," Winter said with a roll of her eyes. May clenched her fist.
"The only reason you won was because of stupid technicality!" May quietly yelled. Their last tournament was suppose to be a draw. The buzzer rang as they both lunged, rapiers bending into their protective armor at the same time.
Only May's foot was a bit off. The few inches in height she had over Winter used against her, deducting points and putting Winter in first.
"Then you should stop caring about it," Winter said with a shrug.
May's face was burning again, shoulders pinched. A few adults went silent around them, unsure if they should intervene or let the combat trained teenagers fight. They both glared at them, challenging the cowards to speak up. Almost immediately May's own family looked away, almost scared.
May scoffed and Winter sneered.
"A rematch without those stupid rules," May said. She was itching to get out of the suit. It was too tight around the wrong places and showed off what she knew she lacked.
Winter glanced towards the crowd, feet rolling to the balls of her heel-less shoes. Weiss was standing at the stairs, greeting guess with her mother who was nursing a cup of wine. Whitely was standing bored behind them.
"Come on," Winter said, giving May a light nudge and quickly ducking into the dark corners of the room. They laughed softly, pulling a hidden lever the and dashing into the servants corridors.
Finally free from her parents rule and Atlasian protocols, May pulled the tie loose and Winter undid the cuffs to move her arms around a little easier.
"Okay seriously, Schnee. How the fuck did you get your chest flat?"
"Compression, usually called a binder."
May licked her lips, staring at Winter's back. The girl looked good in everything but looked the best when she was confident. Which wasn't fair because she was too arrogant.
"Why would you hide-" May nearly bit her tongue off once she realized what she was saying. Stupid, Marigold. "I mean are boobs that much of a hassle?" She tried to joke.
Winter groaned eyes, shoulders finally slacking free from that Schnee image. "Strap watermelons to your chest and see how running feels."
"Sounds like a bet," May said with a laugh. For a moment she lost concentration, the low tones slipping a higher than 'normal.' May cleared her throat and nudged Winter. "Loser does whatever the winner tells them too."
"Fine. I won't be responsible if you get disowned,"
"Don't bribe me into losing, Schnee," May said with a smirk. With the servant corridors running hidden paths directly to each room, Winter lead them to the training room with just a few bad turns.
Luckily fencing equipment was fairly neutral. Downside it was completely ridiculous and made them both look like marshmallows. May giggled quietly in her mask. Somehow Winter managed to look good as a stupid marshmallow.
They took their places on the floor. May swung her rapier a few times. She never liked it but it was another class with the only rich kid her age. Henry would never count and he wasn't a fighter anyway.
"Ready to lose?"
"Don't tempt fate a second time, Marigold." Winter taunted an ungloved hand running the length of the training blade. "Ready when you- Hey!" Winter dodged back with an angry yell.
May laughed, openly and honestly, enjoying how her practiced high pitch bounced off the sound proof walls.
"Don't tempt fate, Schnee!" May yelled back. Winter scowled swinging her rapier hard against May's instead of the elegant and soft parry they were taught. May stepped back with each block, clicking her tongue and waving a finger. "For shame, Winter. Tis' not a barbaric cutlass". May said and ended by mimicking their teacher.
Their female teacher, near perfectly.
May stilled completely horrified. For a second she was happy the mask helmet thing completely covered her face. Then she hated it because Winter was laughing hard and shaking her head.
"Don't cheat!"
"You're not even fighting right!" May argued deflecting as much of Winter's swings as possible and straight up running with a laugh when Winter did an illegal lung and stab for her.
"I thought this was a fight without those 'stupid' rules," Winter taunted chasing. May smirked throwing her helmet at the Schnee and activating her semblance. Winter grunted, almost falling back as shock and impact hit her. Winter pulled off her helmet and threw it into the empty space May moved from. "Of course a Marigold would run and win by cheap shots."
May dropped her semblance nearly appearing inches from her face. Winter didn't scream, she never did but she did jump back rapier aimed for May's chest. May laughed, easily parrying, blade gliding down her blade and stabbing her hard in the chest.
Winter grunted falling back and rubbing the spot. "Ow... reinforcing it with Aura really was cheap."
"Only stupid people limit themselves," May mock. She held up a hand, offering to help Winter up. Winter only took it when she wanted to, good mood or no.
Winter looked at it, thinking for a moment. Then she stared hard into yellow eyes. "So what am I doing?"
May grinned, tapping the rapier against her shoulder. "I always wanted see you black hair but..." But May's heart suddenly twisted in pain. She watched as Winter removed the marshmallow fencing garb. She forgot about that... binder thing.
Winter looked back up May with a frown. "If you ruin my hair..."
"I'm not touching your hair princess. Even I'm not that evil," May drawled rolling her eyes. Winter... Winter wasn't like other Atlesians. She was better than the bullshit.
"Call me May and..." Treat me like a girl? May cringed at that thought. It didn't feel right but it was better than being called he. Or... Swallowed hard, throat flexing into her truly natural tone, "Don't call me guy. Not when it's just us."
"May Marigold, huh?" Winter said. She looked at the hand May held out for her. She smiled and took it, pulling hard. May gasped in her high pitch voice. She was suddenly sprawled on the ground next to the Schnee. "Nice to meet you."
"You're such an ass," May grumbled but playfully shoved her back.
tl;dr Winter and May skipped a party to play fight, but loser has to do whatever the winner demands. May asked to be called by her preferred names and pronouns.
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sweets-r-cool · 4 years
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Rainy Day Confessions (Bakugo x Reader)
This gives off low key crack vibes tbh- but also, you may be thinking i made the reader is weird but like- just awkward...? (at some point I was gonna title Manwhore but that would just give off the wrong vibes-) (Also I wrote this quite a while and i tried to edit it so it’s better but idk...)
In which you and Bakugo are walking home when it starts raining, leaving you both to run for an abandoned building for shelter. 
Today was a cloudy day. You knew neither of you brought an umbrella, seeing as the weather forecast said nothing about rain. At least, that's what Katsuki told you when you asked right outside your house that morning before heading to school.
"I hope it doesn't rain," you said noticing the way the clouds seemingly grew darker, and just as you said that, it began to drizzle. 
You were annoyed, you brought your blazer to school today, but Mina accidentally got it dirty trying to throw food at Kaminari but missed, she ended up taking it home to wash it since she felt bad- even despite when you told her it was fine over and over again. Now, not only were you going to freeze, but it was going to be awkward if your shirt became see-through.
"Dumbass," Bakugo remarked, as you both began to walk faster.
You squinted at him, offended, "What? It's not like I made it rain!" you pouted.
"Yeah, but you jinxed," he scoffed.
"Okay, sure, whatever." you scoffed back. The rain turned from it’s previous light drizzle to suddenly pouring.
You followed what little of Bakugo you could see from under your makeshift umbrella which was really just your school bag. You ran into the ash blonde’s back, nose first. You were about to complain, but then you realized you were now safe from the harsh drops of water that fell from the sky.
It was still cold,and you realized why, the place Bakugo led you to was an abandoned building. You wondered how long it had been there, not being able to entirely remember it on your usual route home.
You and Katsuki lived right across the street from each other and therefore went to and from school together, so if he somehow had a different route, it would make no sense whatsoever.
Either way, the place gave you the absolute creeps, along with chills, but it's not like you could tell Katsuki that, he'd just laugh and call you a coward or something like that.
You sighed. Why did you have to care about what he thought about you?
Oh right, it's because you had a crush on him, and have for a few years now.
Your cheeks burned a little thinking about it, but- why?! Why did you have to fall for your angry hedgehog of a childhood friend?! It could've been anyone, and that would be easier! Hell, Mineta- actually, no. Mineta could go die in a hole, you'd even rather die before falling for Mineta.
You shook your head, there was no point in thinking about all... that.
"You good, Brat?" Bakugo called over, you were still by the opening of the abandoned building, while he went in a little further, trying to escape the freezing weather as much as possible.
"U-Uh Yeah," you called back, looking out to the pouring rain, your arms were freezing without your blazer. Unlike Bakugo, your quirk had nothing to do with fire, let alone heat, you rubbed your hands up and down you arms in an attempt to gain heat.
"You idiot, get your ass over here, it’s colder at the entrance." Bakugo scoffed, clearly not realizing you knew that already.
In all honesty, you would've, if not for the fact you did not feel safe in this building. It was only because it was shady and possibly not structurally stable! You definitely did not believe in ghosts! That was definitely not it at all!
Besides, if Bakugo knew that you were scared of ghosts he'd think you were weird and probably a loser, and he’d mean it for real.
You chewed on the inside of your cheek, about to make an excuse as to why you couldn't go in deeper, but you ended up being cut off when a hand grabbed you by the wrist, dragging you to the back wall of the building. You were about to complain, but were caught off before you got the chance to a second time. Once Katsuki’s slightly too big, but warm blazer was wrapped around you, you closed your mouth, flustered.
"Y-You hoe..." you trailed off, unable to make eye contact with the exponentially warmer ash blonde beside you as you took in the familiar scent of the blazer, wrapping it around you further.
"Brat-" Bakugo said, but you ended up interrupting him. After hearing the most grotesque mix of a groan and scream ever, followed by a long scratching sound, you flinched. Resulting in you tripping over your own feet and ended up landing on Bakugo.
Of course, his body build was strong enough to catch you, so instead of the two of you falling, he caught you by your wrist, pulling it up so you didn't fall. Once the top of your head hit his chin slightly, you looked up to apologize. When you did, however, you were far too flustered to speak when you realized just how close your faces were.
"Don't be. I fucking hate myself," he rasped, successfully confusing the hell out of your flustered mind, "It might be selfish, but I don't want to be 'just friends' anymore. I like you too much for that shit."
He leaned in.
Your face burned a dark red, by the time he was only one inch away from your lips, his eyes closing, you couldn't help but push him away after you got control of yourself.
You stood up only a foot away, your heart practically about to beat right out your chest. "I-I just-" you swallowed, and turned, "Bakugo, you manwhore!" you shouted absentmindedly and ran straight out into the rain.
You couldn't even feel or hear the freezing raindrops, or the coldness that bit at your skin. Just your heartbeat, along with a thousand thoughts you couldn't describe aloud without just screaming.
Bakugo watched your back retreating, running like he'd kill you if you stayed. 
He smirked to himself, and a confused Kirishima came out from the back room.
"You okay, bro?" he said, worried how Bakugo might lash out, "I didn't think L/n could even run like that." Kirishima really didn’t think you’d just run away like you did. Kirishima noticed the smirk on Bakugo’s face, suddenly more worried for his friend’s mental state.
"B-Bro," Kirishima wearily put a hand on his shoulders. Not only did the plan of scaring you not work, but you'd just completely and outright rejected Bakugo. Kirishima felt he might just have to possibly run for his own life in a similar style to you.
Bakugo shrugged Kirishima's hand off, aggressively but not angrily.
Bakugo wasn't mad for once. Actually, he was rather satisfied, had you let him kiss you, that would've been a different story.
He knew you, and that meant he was sure if you let him kiss you- or worse, kissed him back- you were probably pitying him because you didn't return his feelings or something.
It was probably ten minutes before Bakugo broke the silence between him and Kirishima, who was still terrified.
Kirishima flinched when Bakugo spoke up, "It's about time I find that dumbass." he said, walking off into the rain in the same direction as you.
~
You were probably gonna get sick, but you decided it was whatever. You’d just have to take a day or two off from school you supposed. You sat under a tree, now cold and wet from the rain, and the leaves did basically nothing to protect you from it. You hugged your knees, beginning to regret running away.
Why did you run away anyways?
It wasn't like you didn't want to kiss him- not that you really wanted to or anything though.
You groaned, pouting at your own idiocy.
You guessed it was just that the situation was... weird? Well, at least Bakugo was weird. Yeah, he confessed using cuss words, but still, he confessed. Ugh, you wanted to throw up, or maybe bury yourself in a hole, maybe you'd even be warmer that way. 
You buried you face into your knees, closing up the blank space with your arms so your face wasn't visible.
You sighed.
"Regretting stopping that kiss?"
"Kind of-" you paused, what?
Your head snapped to beside you, Bakugo had managed to find you. Granted it wasn’t like you ran miles away, but you still definitely got a block or (2) two away. Your cheeks burned a bright red, and suddenly it wasn’t so cold anymore.
Bakugo smirked, "So why did you?"
You flinched as he sat next to you, you looked away, your blush deepening.
You mumbled a few incoherent words before he was actually able to understand you, "I... I don't know. You were just being... weird.. and stuff, so I just did what happened on reflex," you said, barely able to know how or what to think anymore. Most of the time, when it came to fight or flight situations, you’d opt to fight, being friends with Katsuki since childhood; however, there were specific situations you’d choose flight. This was apparently one of them.
There was a moment of silence before Bakugo spoke again, "What kind of reflex is yelling Manwhore?”
"Wh- Well, you're the one who tried to kiss me!" you averted your eyes, your blush persistent.
"That's because I like you, dumbass," Bakugo deadpanned, not even trying to avoid your gaze or fidgeting, not seeming nervous at all.
"When you say it like that, I feel like... it's not even real. I mean I know you're not lying, it's just like... I don't know..." you sighed, "W-Well, a-anyways, I l-like you too, but-" you were cut off when Bakugo didn't give you anytime to react.
Simply crashing his lips on yours to shut you up, it seemed all he needed was for you to say you liked him back and that was it. Well, you supposed it was all he needed to hear.
You didn't pull away this time, simply pretending your face wasn't as hot as the surface of the sun, and kissed back, furrowing your eyebrows finding it hard to keep your mouth from smiling and your eyes from opening.
After a while, you parted, and he pulled you closer to lean on him, when your head hit his chest, you were actually glad to hear his rapid heart beat, meaning it wasn't just you who could barely handle this.
Everything felt warm, even the comfortable silence felt warm.
Too bad it was interrupted by your ash blonde hedgehog of a crush.
"I know you were scared in the abandoned building, Brat" he spoke.
The tics that formed on your forehead were almost visible, you pouted, turning your head a little to look up at him. "Tell anyone, and I'll bite your face off."
"I would like to see that happen," he responded, making you do a double take.
"Are you- Are you hitting on me?!" you asked, dumbfounded as he smirked. You leaned back on his chest, turning your gaze to the side, "You really are a manwhore..."
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stick-man-simp · 3 years
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Some stuff about my stick oc Evans that no one asked for!!!
You wanna hear my headcannons about the actual thsc characters?? To bad!!! /j/lh (under the cut cus this is long lol)
1. What’s your oc’s most irrational fear? Is there a specific reason this fear came about?
They’re really afraid of something happening to their neck, like you know, that kind of stuff, ouch, no real reason for this fear, they just have it. They’re also really afraid of being abandoned and being alone oof
2. Is your oc picky about food? What kinds of foods do they like and dislike? What do they consider a comfort or “safe” food?
They hate tomatoes and milk with a passion, but otherwise most foods are okay with them, it’s more about the texture for them, not the taste, but if it has a weird texture, big oof moments. They really like any sort of fast food (except Wendy’s) and they love Dr Pepper so much lol
3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?
Their voice basically sounds like mine, but low key deep, and kinda raspy too. They can sing alright, not great but they like singing along to songs. They can whistle really well, the kind of really good whistling that pisses you off >:) lol. they cannot roll their r’s lol haha loser can’t roll their r’s :’). they used to have a stutter as a kid and it comes out when they’re really upset.
4. Is your oc good at keeping secrets?
They are great at keeping secrets, because they care a lot :), but also cus they have terrible memory and will probably forget it lol
5. What kind of clothes is your oc most comfortable wearing?
Their usual comfy everyday outfit is just a t-shirt and jeans, and hoodie when it’s cold. Same thing at home, but sweatpants or pj shorts
6. What kind of clothes is your oc least comfortable wearing?
Dresses >:( they’re ugly and uncomfortable, also flip flops, they hate them (they wear crocs lmao)
7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?
I actually made whole a playlist for them oop- https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7qxg8Wm7qbMXKu2FRBKYI4 It kind of matches what they would listen to, upbeat with kind of sad lyrics
8. What’s it like inside your oc’s mind? (Literally, or metaphorically.)
No thoughts head empty, jk it’s a mess, they may seem really chill and confident on the outside, but on the inside they are always worried about saying the wrong thing and scaring people away, they just want friends :’(
9. What are your oc’s goals for the future? Relationship-wise, career-wise, or other?
Nothing much, they don’t like thinking about the future, they just go with the flow really, not good but whelp, it’s going ok so far. NO relationships tho, they are aroace, but boy do they wish they had some friends oof
10. Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?
Usually... no one, maybe their cat or maybe their mom, but in the time where Evans is friends with Ocelot (Coelpts oc), they would go to him about literally everything lol and then get worried about annoying him oof
11. Does your oc have any interests/hobbies that they hide from everyone? Why do they hide these interests?
Not really, they have a bunch of hobbies, but cringe culture is dead so they are open about them all to whoever asks, but no one ever does aaa, but they do stuff like gaming, drawing, knitting, embroidery, baking, cooking, model trains, lots of stuff
12. How does your oc handle talking to somebody they can’t stand? What if it’s a situation where they’re forced to work with this person?
They don’t lol, they don’t take shit from no one and will say to their face that they don’t like them lol, but if they have to work with them, they will cooperate, but their gonna be a bastard about it
13. What’s your oc’s dream home like?
A cozy cottage in the woods, with lots of hiking trails all around, a chicken coop, and close to their friend’s house :’)
14. If your oc spent one day free from any consequences or recognition for their actions, how would they act?
They wouldn’t do much lol, probably just steal a bunch of Dr Pepper and snacks from the store
15. What’s your oc’s morning routine like?
They wake up at like 6 am and scroll on their phone in bed for a bit, and then get up at 7:45 to get ready lol, and leave at 8 to got to work, I mean it works but wtf Evans
16. What’s your oc’s nighttime routine like?
They usually just sit on the couch with their cat and some snack and watch TV or play games for a while before going to bed and scrolling on their phone for like an hour before finally passing out
17. If your oc had a social media page, what would it be like? What would they post about? How much personal information would they feel comfortable posting on it? How often would they update it?
They have a Tumblr, they don't make many posts, just reblog stuff, and they would totally share their fucking home address  if someone asked nicely, they are unhinged
18. How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?
They look at themself and think ‘woah that’s one sexy motherfucker’, they are a bastard man with way too much confidence, I don’t have any other os’s that would interact with them, but Ocelot totally thinks of them as just a big dumb puppy (he would never say that out loud tho lol)
19. How would an enemy describe this oc?
An arrogant son of a bitch (and they’d be right >:D)
20. What’s a superpower or magical ability that this oc would hate having?
Being able to read peoples minds, they would hate this so much, because it would make them feel evil and uncomfy, and they don’t wanna know what people are thinking about them, they think it’ll be bad oof
21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?
They are nonbinary, AFAB, they used to wear a binder but they got top surgery at 20 years old, now they don’t wear a shirt at the beach and they’re making that everyone else's problem!! >:D
22. What’s your oc’s dream job? Is this similar to what they’re doing now? Do they believe they could ever achieve this dream?
They work for the CCC right now, and they had their dream job as an agent, but the promotion they got kind of ruined the dream, and their job is boring to them now
23. Who would this oc consider their family? What is their relationship with these people?
They have their mom, who is really great, their dad died when they were young, they don’t have any siblings, and they aren’t close with any other family. But, any friends they have they immediately get really attached to and think of as family
24. What is one thing that, no matter who it’s coming from, would anger your oc?
Getting called a coward (haha Marty McFly kinnie lmao), they are not a coward >:( (this gets them in a lot of trouble sometimes oof)
25. How does your oc handle sadness?
Not well oof, they mostly just cry a bunch and eat a lot, anything to get their mind off it
26. How does your oc handle anger?
Basically the same as with sadness but with furrowed eyebrows and ranting to their cat
27. How does your oc handle fear?
They are pretty brave so not much scares them, and they have to be brave for others, but when it comes to stuff that really scares them or just plain anxiety, they usually try to calm down as best they can, or they just run, they can run fast too
28. What’s your favorite thing about this oc?
Himbo :)
29. What’s your least favorite thing about this oc?
They have a primal urge to insult people, they don’t mean to really upset people, it’s all in good fun, but they can still be pretty mean sometimes, especially when they do it with strangers oof
30. Tell a random fact about this oc!
They’ve always wanted to have a beard or a mustache, but even with T they can’t grow much facial hair :(
2 notes · View notes
chogiwank · 6 years
Text
Internship - CEO!Jaehyun Smut
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Pairing: (sort of Fratboy!Jaehyun)CEO!Jaehyun x CollegeStudent!FemaleReader/SecretaryIntern!FemaleReader
Warning: not 100% proof read smut smut smutty smut smut like its pretty rough, dirty and long i apologize i got carried away jaehyun stans this boy really makes my dirtiest fantasies come out including doyoung and johnny SKSKSKSK
a/n:here’s a really overdue post LOLLL thank you for the wait loves,, we appreciate your support!! also i can finally drive a car!! WOOT WOOT i got my G1 (practice licence) and coincidentally finished this smut today as well so seems like a really good day to celebrate loll ; ))) enjoy reading you freaky deakies - Doyoung’s Darling
College parties were truly overrated: filled with the stench of booze, drunk, horny students trying to get into each other’s pants and really shitty EDM. Oh god, the first year of getting into college as a freshman I expected a whole life-changing experience, really it was better than high school but still just as shit. Nothing really changed, there was still the huge workload and the parties seemed more lame, of course maybe it wasn’t the party, maybe it was just me - I was probably boring but in all honesty I was never fond of partying, the whole reason I’m even sitting in the middle of a frat house is because of my friends forcing me. All of them pretty much party animals and I was the one who was always kind of left out, just followed along for the sake of them being my friends, especially because I didn’t have many, only two of my high school buddies - Lisa and Ten.
Both of them very much alike, kind, bubbly, funny, and dancing freaks with great style. Being the new kid at high school in the junior year they were the first ones who offered to show me around and hang out until I got adjusted to the school. Having Ten in art class was fun since we drew silly pictures of each other and sometimes our teacher who kind of looked like Batman, he had the voice too - although he was always in a shitty mood and would complain about his personal life instead of teaching which was really annoying and ruined Batman for me so fuck that.
Lisa, I’d met at lunch when Ten told me to come to sit with him, she and I got pretty close in a short amount of time, developed our trust really fast - it was almost instant. We’d end up telling each other many things in the span of a month or two from crushes, gossip to even some family problems which happened throughout the year. I never regretted meeting either of them that day, in fact, it was possibly the best moment.
“Y/N! c’mon get up!” Lisa shouted over the loud music as I denied her request shaking my head. “No! Get up and dance, your man is on the floor too!”
“My man?” I shouted back, “I do not have a man for your information!”
“Oh stop lying to yourself,” Ten voice came from beside me as he bent over the couch startling me. “You love him, you’ve been in love with him since you first saw him on the first day of college.”
“Bullshit-“
“Damn right you’re spurting bullshit if you keep denying it now, up you coward!” Ten said pulling me up from the couch, Lisa helped out grabbing my arm and tugging me into the middle of the dance floor. Sweaty bodies bumped against each other and occasionally made contact with me, cringing from the strong scent of alcohol mixing with the utterly horrible stench of sweat,
“ugh this is so gross.”
“Don’t be such a party popper girl, go walk up to your man, dance with him!” Lisa encouraged shoving me from behind.
“Nonono please I don-“
“Y/N if you don’t do this I’ll cancel our friendship and call you a pussy for the rest of your life.” Ten said raising an eyebrow.
“You wouldn’t-“
“Try me.” He said sternly.
“Okay, okay fine! I’ll do it just don't-“ I let out a shriek as I fell forwards from a strong push, crashing into someone else falling down on top of them. My shirt became soaked from the spillage of alcohol on it, causing me to groan from the unexpected incident.
“You okay?” The stranger who became my accidental pillow asked, the voice sounded oddly familiar. I sat up getting off of the stranger’s lap looking at them, and that’s when I realized this stranger was more than just a stranger - Jung Jaehyun. The most popular senior college kid, the stereotypical frat boy I swore to never fall for but his looks drove me in another direction. He was really handsome and cute. His body was built all muscular but his face had soft features and dimples with chubby cheeks, it was odd but that’s what intrigued me to him. The difference between his interior and exterior made me curious, I wouldn’t say I’d want to date him but surely wanted to spend a night with him see the type of man he was - cold fuck boy, or a genuine sweetheart.
“Y-yeah I am, thanks for breaking my fall.” I snapped myself out of my thoughts.
“Well it wasn’t really my choice but at least you’re not hurt.” He chuckled. “Ah but your shirt.” He pointed.
“Oh yeah, I guess I’ll be up cleaning it tonight.” I sighed.
“I could help you out..” Jaehyun trailed off.
“Well I mean, it’s not really-“
“I don’t mean I’ll pull moves on you and try to have sex, I could just help you bc that’s gonna be a hard stain to get out.”
“Y-yeah sure.”
“Follow me.” He smiled getting up from his spot on the ground leading me off the dance floor upstairs. I looked over my shoulder to see Ten and Lisa making kissy faces towards us, I rolled my eyes. They were so childish, but I’m guessing that what everyone thought now the scene sort of looked like that. They all looked pretty busy sucking each other’s faces off so hopefully, nothing spreads around. Walking up the stairs he made small talk asking my name and such if I was enjoying the night.
“Here,” Jaehyun said opening a bedroom door and walking in. “You can borrow one of my shirts while I clean yours.”
“I...” hesitantly stepping into the room I nodded at the boy.
“Take this.” He tossed over a plain yellow shirt. “Hand it back to me next time we meet.” He opened up the bathroom door gesturing me to walk in.
“Thank you.” I smiled at him, closing the door behind me switching the shirts and handing my dirty one to him. “This is such a big shirt.”
“Really? No way!” He laughed. “I thought we were the same size but I guess not.”
I rolled my eyes and giggled at his sarcasm. “It’s awfully nice of a fuck boy to share his clothes and not make intentions to fuck.”
“A fuck boy?” Jaehyun put a hand over his chest pretending to be offended. “Is that how you see me?”
“Kind of what you’re labelled as.” I shrugged.
“Well just so you know I may dress like one but I’ve only had sex with one girl.” My eyes widened at his confession.
“No way, that’s a lie!”
“Yes way, I’ve made out with some but never fucked them.” He slightly smiled. “What about you kid?”
“two dudes...” I shifted my gaze to the ground.
“Whoa, two? Who’s the real player here?” He teased elbowing my shoulder.
“Well the first one was my ex-boyfriend during sophomore year and the second was this dude from the beginning of senior year, just a little fling.” I blushed in embarrassment. Jaehyun laughed at my reaction, and wow his laugh was really pleasant I could’ve listened to it all day, possibly made it my ringtone.
“Were they any good for you.” He winked.
I shook my head. “Maybe it's just me but in all honesty not really.” I giggled. With that Jaehyun’s demeanour changed, from the giggly atmosphere to a tense one. He walked closer to me as I stepped back slightly intimidated. Eventually falling back onto the bed, his body hovered over me.
“Are you a challenge?”
“What?” I furrowed my brows.
“You’ve never had a man please you properly, either they were shit or you’re a challenge,” Jaehyun smirked.
“Oh..” suddenly becoming bold I answered his question. “Why don’t you show me how a woman should be pleased.”
“Don’t regret it, pretty girl,” he whispered.
“Only if you suck.” I teased.
“Don’t underestimate me, you’ll be screaming and clawing down my back pretty girl.”
“Prove it.” I bit my bottom lip.
“Get on your knees.” He whispered placing a wet kiss on my neck. “And for now, call me daddy.”
“Yes, daddy.” I obeyed his orders and that night was possibly the most memorable during my first year involving one of the best orgasms I’d had in my life, Jung Jaehyun surely knew his ways in pleasing a woman and boy was he right about not underestimating him.
Although that was the only memory I had with him, basically a one night stand. The handsome senior who’d left during my second year because he’d graduated and was never to return again, lucky him. Loser me because I‘m stuck in this place for four years working on my Masters for Business, not even sure if it was a good idea but my best option I had.
Here I was now last year college completing a Business major along with an internship to be a secretary. It was my first day as a student intern, I wanted to gain experience before heading into the work field but it didn’t seem to go so well, the day barely started and I was 7 minutes late to meet my boss - so much for a good first impression.
Running through the front gates of the company and informing the desk lady she guided me towards the room I thanked her following her directions.
Stopping in front of the office letting out a sigh, I stared at my blurry reflection in the frosted glass door, straightening my skirt and blazer I turned the handle stepping in with a smile and apologized to the man who sat at his desk jotting something down on paper, I could only get a view of his head top but continued to introduce myself.
“Hello sir, my sincerest apologies for being late transportation trouble really messed up for today- I’m sorry if this makes me seem sloppy but I shall do better every other day.”
Still not looking up from his papers the man spoke,
“So you’re the new intern?” His voice didn’t sound cold nor annoyed, it sounded soft surprisingly.
“Yes,” I replied brightly.
“I’m surprised.” Raising his head up to look at me, I was shocked at the realization of who I was interning for, “nice to meet you again, y/n.”
He gave a warm smile extending an arm out for a handshake.
“Wow...I can't believe this. It’s been so long...” I stammered. “Great to see you again, Jaehyun.” I smiled back at him.
Jung Jaehyun...the senior college boy, my one night stand I’d never thought to see again was now my boss - the CEO I was to be a secretary for.
“Small world.” He brightly smiled revealing his dimples. They were so deep just like I remembered four years ago, he looked exactly the same, his body still fit and his kind interior still existent. “I won’t count this as you being sloppy, I’ll let you get away with it this once,” he raised an eyebrow. “But please keep a steady schedule and be on time.”
“Of course.” I gave him a nod and apologetic smile.
“Now, I’ll get you adjusted to the building from the help of my secretary,” Jaehyun buzzed and called in for his secretary, Kira.
“Kira, please show our new intern Y/N around. Get her familiar with everything before she starts her actual work here in a year, from the morning routines to where every file is, all the way down to our closing and overwork routines.” The tall tanned brunette flashed him a smile and “yes sir.” Before leading me down to her office and around the building. For a month she helped me around until I got to know the place and by the end of it, I got to know the building as well as her. I’d help her out as her assistant and attend to matters Jaehyun would assign her to. She was a really kind person to be around and a fantastic talker, I swear she’d be talking 9/10 times every day - not hearing her voice once would make everything seem very off. It was nice though, great company to have sadly she would be moving onto a different company once my internship was over and I took her place.
Sitting in Kira’s office she chatted about watermelon being the superior fruit i apologize i was thinking about that dumbass mark lee and idk why, it was an odd topic but she made it sound like this genuine world issue. her comments were hilarious, I’d almost fell off my chair crying with laughter. She’d finished her last sip of tea, setting the papers back into files, and files back into the cabinets.
“Well, I’ll be off early today, Can you inform Mr.Jung? I’ll be in an hour early in the morning to finish everything off. Close the front doors for me?”
“Yes of course. I’ll see you tomorrow!” I waved off Kira as she walked out of her office and waited for the sound of the elevator ding signalling she was gone. I picked up the keys she’d left on her desk slipping the lane yard around my neck. Heading to walk out the office door I’d heard the intercom ring, I went to go attend it as it’d obviously be Jaehyun...uh Mr.Jung in need of some assistance. Of course, I already had to go meet him to inform him about Kira’s absence, and so I answered the intercom.
“Kira, I need you in my office please.” His voice rang through, I’d heard it almost every minute I was in the building but hadn’t seen him for a while, more specifically since I’d started the internship. It was kind of a bummer really but every time Kira sent me in to drop off files to his office he’d be at a meeting or such, so we never really talked or met after that day. Nothing much happened between us, despite our past history... maybe we just grew up, maybe it was us being normal horny teenagers back then, we were just more professional now. Although, was he still as good? I wondered a little too excited, expecting a little too much. he didn’t even know his secretary left, he’d have no intentions to really do anything, but would it change since this would be our first time alone in years? Would lust take over us once more?
Standing in front of his office door I opened the top button of my blouse and fixed my skirt just a little in hope of intriguing him - a little cleavage never hurt anyone. Twisting the knob and pushing open the door I stepped in to see him sitting on the red leather couch focusing on reading through documents.
“Kira...” he spoke without looking up. “I need you to keep these documents with you and give them to me tomorrow morning, it’s for the finance-“ he’d cut off his speech at the sight of me and not his secretary he’d been expecting. “Oh sorry I.. I thought-“
“Kira left,” I told him pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
“Oh, she did? That’s weird she-“
“she told me to tell you but you called her in before I could.”
“Alright alright, that’s fine.” Jaehyun looked down and up my body subtly biting his lip as his gaze landed upon my boobs which peaked out from my unbuttoned blouse. “Why don’t you head home.” He cleared his throat.
“I was, but again you called in.”
“Oh yeah, sorry please don’t let me stop you.” He gestured for me to walk out. Disappointed I nodded and bowed down as a goodbye, walking towards the office door I stopped as he spoke,
“Wait but if you don’t mind, can we have a small chat.”
I smiled. “Of course, why not?” I turned around walking over to where he sat on the couch. “Could I sit?”
He chuckled. “Why do you have to ask? You’re not some slave I’m gonna treat like shit. Just sit.” He pats the empty spot beside him, I laughed sitting down one leg over the other. An awkward silence washed over us not knowing which one should speak and about what, because talking about the past would just mention that night.
“So how have you been?” Jaehyun asked his tongue dart out licking his lips.
“I’ve been well, it’s been a while I’m surprised you work here...” I fiddled with my fingers. “Surprised you ended up my boss.”
“Well I never really expected the girl I had a one night stand with to be my soon to be secretary. “ he laughed. I blushed at his mention of the one night stand, my face turning a tint of pink caused him to laugh harder.
“Hey, hey! It’s not funny! “ I playfully pushed him. “You can’t expect  me to not blush after you mentioned...that.”
“Well, what else would I say? There’s not much.”
“That true..” I nervously smiled covering my face as it got redder.
“Gosh was it really that embarrassing, why are you so red?” He said. “From what I remember you really fucking enjoyed it.”
“shut up!” I said slapping his arm and grabbing the pillow placed on the couch to bury my face in. He laughed at my reaction.
“I’m joking!” Calming down from the laughter and embarrassment he nervously spoke, “am I out of line to say I missed you?”
“W-what?” My eyes grew wide from his confession. “You missed me?”
“Yeah...” he chewed his bottom lip. “Not because of the sex... well that yes but also because I wanted to get to know you as a person. You seemed really different and kind rather than all the other girls at college.”
“In all honesty, I wish I got to know you more too. Kind of had a really big thing for you...”
“I know” he chuckled.
“Huh?” My brows furrowed in question.
“Your friend, Ten told me.”
“Seriously? That asshole!” I sighed. “I‘m gonna beat him when I see him” I mumbled.
“No, no please don’t do that! When he told me I started to take interest in you more.” His gaze shifted to the ground. “I wanted to talk but I got shy every time, I have no idea why you made me nervous.”
“Me? Make you nervous?” I raised an eyebrow. I made Jung Jaehyun nervous? He nodded his head ‘yes’, his cheeks turned pink and dimples prominent from his embarrassed smile.
“You were gorgeous.” He mumbled but clear enough for me to hear.
“no I...” I trailed off.
“Still are, and hell of a lot sexier. If I could have you like that again I would-“
“Why don’t you?” I spoke up placing a hand on his thigh, gently squeezing it. He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. “C’mon why don’t you? You said it yourself.”
“I know but...”
“Hmm” I hummed as he hesitated on an answer, unbuttoning my blouse enough to reveal the lacy red bra underneath. His breath hitched in his throat as his eyes landed on my chest. “I guess you’re just not as fun you used to be, you were less of a pussy actually had some know how’s and now you're just such a bummer.” I teased to get him to make a move. His jaw stiffened and eyebrows furrowed.
“What you think I don’t know how to please a woman anymore?”
“A little...” I shrugged a shoulder and smirked, “Prove me wrong, I dare you.”
“Don’t talk so much, it’ll get you in trouble.” His aura changed as he stood up looking down at me.
“Punish me for it.” I breathed out. “Fucking-“ I felt a sharp sting on my cheek as Jaehyun slapped me.
“You shouldn’t use such profanity with a pretty mouth like yours.” Tangling his fingers through my hair he roughly pulled back. Cupping my chin with his other hand he tapped his thumb on my bottom lip, “ open” he commanded. I obeyed as he roughly shoved two fingers in my mouth hitting the back of my throat prompting a gag. He let out an evil chuckle from the reaction. “Suck” I bobbed my head up and down his slender fingers, swirling my tongue around them as I looked up at him through my lashes to see him smirking. Releasing his grip on my hair he moved his hand down to my neck, tracing my collar bones and back up to where my neck joined my jaw squeezing hard but enough to allow air to pass through. The breath play elicited an accidental moan. “You like that, don’t you?” His voice deep and teasing. Jaehyun lets go of my neck allowing me to take proper breaths and removes his fingers from my mouth, now glistening in saliva.
I nodded my head biting my bottom lip seductively, “Yes daddy, is it too dirty for you?” I innocently spoke. He scoffed, bending down face-to-face with me.
“Not dirty enough.” He placed a rough kiss on my lips, shoving his tongue into my mouth exploring every inch. Eventually breaking the heated kiss, our lips still connected by a thin line of saliva, which ultimately broke as Jaehyun stood back up. I heavily panted in an attempt to catch my breath. “You better put that pretty mouth of yours to work,” he pushed my head forward, my lips landing on his clothed erection. “Take daddy’s cock in your mouth.” I began to lick and suck his bulge through the fabric of his pants, beginning to get needy to have the familiar taste of his cock in my mouth I pulled back to unbuckle his belt, surprisingly Jaehyun didn’t move from his position - his hand tangled in my hair while his other lay on his side. Opening the button and pulling down the zipper his pants dropped down to his ankles. His white boxers had a wet spot from his pre-cum, I yanked them down to pool at his ankles and he stepped out of the material. His cock sprung up leaking with pre-cum, it was hard and big the perfect fucking size and fuck I was ready for it, for him. 
Taking it into my mouth I pushed my head down his length, taking him all into my throat causing me to let out a gag and muffled groan. Jaehyun let out a deep sigh throwing his head back, “fuck I didn’t think you would do that.” I moaned around his cock and began moving my head up and down, his grip tightened in my hair as he controlled my actions to what he desired- the faster or slower he wanted. I grabbed onto his thighs my nails digging into his skin as he forced my head down on his cock at a fast pace. Tears welled up in my eyes threatening to fall from his rough actions until he slowed down stopping at the tip of his cock. I didn’t let go just looked up at him facing down with a devilish smirk. He brought his free hand to my face, his index and thumb placed on my nose pinching my nostrils closed. He continued his before rough action moving my head down his length, the tears which I previously held in my eyes fell down my cheeks coloured black from the now ruined mascara. The lack of oxygen caused me to see stars as my eyes rolled back, my nails still deep in his thighs bound to leave crescent marks. Taking his cock out of my mouth and releasing my nose i tried to take in a deep breath causing a cough.
He roughly pulled me up from my seat on the couch, bending me backwards onto the glass table in front of it.
“You asked for this, better not be regretting it y/n.”
“Not one bit,” I croaked out due to my sore throat. “use me like a toy, all yours.”
“what a dirty slut.” Jaehyun slapped my cheek, I gasped from the sting. I felt my blouse rip open, a button or two popping off to land elsewhere in the office. My bra now exposed and my blouse bunched up around my waist. He began to roughly massage my breasts and kiss along my neck down to my collarbone, leaving a red mark on it. One of his hands snuck around to my back to unclasp my bra, I arched up to help him a little. Opening my bra with one hand he pulled it off throwing it onto the couch. He stood up above me staring down at my half-naked figure, biting his lip causing me to blush.
“I’ll repeat once again,” he breathed. “Fucking gorgeous.” He hovered back over me placing a passionate kiss on my lips, kissing back I placed a hand on his nape and the other played with his locks. Moving back from the kiss he smiled brightly, both of his deep dimples appeared on his cheeks. 
Leaving a trail of wet kisses from my neck to the valley of my breasts, he sucked and bit on the skin underneath one of my breasts, creating a purple bruise and slight teeth marks. He licked up to my nipple, nibbling and swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud - a moan eventually escaped my mouth. His lips felt so good on my skin, sucking and kissing every exposed inch, I panted occasionally moaning at the feeling of his teeth sinking in.
Finishing up toying with my breasts, he fixed himself to place his cock in between them.
“Squeeze ‘em.” he ordered. I squished my boobs around his cock as he began to thrust back and forth, giggling at the thought of someone walking into the naughty scene - as I laid backwards on Jaehyun’s glass table half naked, his cock between my chest as he jacked off. “What? You like that dirty slut?”
“Yes daddy,” I bit my lip. “I love it, I can’t wait to have your big cock in me.” I played innocent, arching my back as Jaehyun pinched my nipples.
“Shit..shit” he breathed, running his hand along his length his juices spurting out I opened my mouth attempting to get a taste failing to get most as his cum rolled down my chin or landed on my chest. “I don't know if I want you as my secretary”
I pouted up at him, “why is that?”
“I don’t trust myself, I won’t be able to hold myself back...” he held onto my arm walking me over to his office door, pushing me hard against the glass. “I’d have you like this all the time, fucking you senseless. The whole office would know about it, about how filthy of a slut you are.” I felt a shiver down my spine as he dragged a finger along down to the zipper of my black pencil skirt. He dragged it down and pulled down my skirt, helping me out of it kicking it across the room. I felt a breeze on my wet pussy since I hadn’t worn panties today, and oh boy what a marvellous day to not. “No panties?” Jaehyun smirked. “Did you plan this?”
“I forgot, daddy.” I whimpered out feeling a hard smack against my ass cheek, muttering a ‘fuck’ underneath my breath. he ground his semi hard-on against my ass,
“I’m gonna have you such a mess after this.” placing kisses on my neck as he adjusted himself at my entrance. “ready?” I nodded my head to allow him to continue his actions, and at that, he roughly thrust into my pussy. In and out, in and out at a fast pace, sound of skin on skin mixed with the wetness of my cunt. I let out a chain of moans and profanities hearing him whisper lewd things into my ear. 
“Fuck daddy, I’m so close.” I was breathless, his thrust practically knocking the air out of me. 
“Then cum, cum all over my cock baby girl.” Sneaking his hand around to the front of my body he rubbed my clit harshly. I screamed out as my orgasm took over me, his name leaving the tip of my tongue from the pleasure washed over me. Jaehyun continued helping me ride out my orgasm but didn’t stop even after, 
“Jae…jae please.” I whimpered. “Please stop I cant.” 
He wrapped an arm around me supporting me up, “Yes you can, please baby girl, for daddy.” I let out a gasp from the sudden sensitivity I’d begun to feel from my previous orgasm. 
“Then eat me out.” I panted. 
Jaehyun slowed down his thrust, stopping with his tip in my entrance, “what was that?” He spoke smugly. 
“Eat me out and I’ll cum for you, daddy.” Jaehyun obliged, carrying my limp body bridal style to the couch. 
“But last orgasm daddy, please no more after.” He nodded his head in understanding and dove down his head between my thighs. Trailing wet kisses up to my heat he took in my already sensitive nub into his mouth, I swear I would’ve orgasmed right then and there - his mouth worked wonders. 
He began to play with my clit, sucking and flicking it around, eventually inching down and licking up my slit. He continued his actions causing whimpers to escape my throat and fingers tangling tightly into his messy hair. Reaching the peak of my second orgasm I let out his name like a prayer, whispering profanities coming down my high. He cleaned up my remaining juices and his mouth where it dropped down to his chin. 
He smirked, “you taste-“ 
“please don’t.” I heavily sighed, trying to control my breathing. Jaehyun chuckled, gently lifting up my body to be on top of his as he laid down on the couch. Playful, chaste kisses were left all over my face by him, making me giggle. 
“I can’t believe we’ve done that…” Jaehyun trailed off. 
“Again.” I cheekily added. “And it’s still the best I’ve ever had.” 
“You better be serious about that, y/n.” 
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked confused. 
“Because, I was hung up over you after leaving college I don’t know why, it was dumb really dumb but I’m glad I did since I didn’t regret you one bit.” He flashed a loving smile. “Not then, not now.” 
“What’re you saying?” 
“You idiot. “ he rolled his eyes. “I’m saying, I wish I did this before but it may have not been the right time - maybe now isn’t the right time either but you feel right to me so…will you give me a chance?” 
“dangerous business” I laughed. “but sure.” After pressing a soft, passionate kiss upon his lips Jaehyun and I laid on the couch, our naked sticky bodies against each other for a while until we split apart to get dressed and he dropped me off at home. Let’s just say that saying yes to the so-called fuck boy, my new boss and CEO was probably the riskiest but best decision, concluding as a very happily ever after. Not the best way to reference a fairytale ending but hey you all know what I’m saying anyways
a/n: not sure if the ending is shitty but for real, I had no idea how to end it after the sex OOPS
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Red String (2/4)
Summary: When T.J. was 8, he read a book about the Red Strings of Fate. And when he was 10, he started seeing strings EVERYWHERE.
A/N: I’ve always loved the idea of being connected to your soulmate with a Red String of Fate. I did a bit of research on them and I’ve read some manga that have it as a theme. So, I took some liberties on how it works here and I’m still figuring it out along the way but I hope I’m able to convey them in a justified manner.
Part 1 Part 3 Part 4
Chapter 2: Blue String
Despite the surprising appearance of a pink string around his pinky, T.J. opted to ignore it. He didn’t want to waste any time wracking his brains trying to figure out why it showed up… or who triggered it to show up.
Besides, he had more pressing matters to pay attention to. Like Math.  
For as long as he could remember, T.J. hated Math. He hated numbers. He hated the way other kids could add, subtract, multiply, and divide like it was second nature but every time T.J. tried, the strange symbols just looked like some kind of alphabet soup, but with numbers.
Somehow, he managed to make it to Middle School, only passing by a hair each time. (He may or may not have become an expert in subtle cheating but that was beside the point.)
But, now, his position on the basketball team was in danger because of stupid Math. And what more was that his teacher decided to assign his black string as his tutor.
T.J. wondered if he hated Buffy, not just because of the number of strings on her fingers, but because she, admittedly, was good at almost everything. But, he would never say that to her face.
“You do know the multiplication tables… right?”
T.J. couldn’t help but glare while feeling a painful pang in his chest. But, he refused to cry in front of Buffy.
“You think I’m stupid?” he accused.
Buffy looked surprised but immediately defended herself, “I never said that.”
She may not have said it out loud but she was thinking it. T.J. knew she was thinking it. Everybody thought he was stupid.
“Well, I am.”
Standing up, he grabbed his backpack, not bothering to take his notebook or textbook with him. It wasn’t like he would need them, anymore. He was stupid at Math and that was a fact.
Without another word to the girl, T.J. practically ran out of the room. His eyes were stinging and his heart was beating, painfully, against his rib cage.
He had to get out of school. To not be reminded of all the things he was lacking in.
His feet took him to the park. Something was tugging him there and he didn’t feel like fighting it that day. The walk kept him calm on the outside, but on the inside, he was still filled with turmoil.
“Legs go up, legs go down. That’s how we make the swing go ‘round...”
T.J. heard him before he saw him and he couldn’t explain the reason why he was drawn to that familiar voice.
Buffy’s friend, the muffin boy, was on the swings, kicking his legs into the air in a gentle manner as he continued to sing to himself.
T.J. wasn’t familiar with the song. Was it made up? That was pretty creative.
Dropping his backpack on the ground, he calmly walked over and placed his hand against the pole.
“Nice song,” he commented before a little kid’s squeal distracted him and he turned to see a little boy sliding down the slide before turning back. “What do you sing when you’re on the slide?”
The other boy had paused while he was distracted, almost looking fearful of him. It bothered T.J.
“We go down, we say ‘yay’,” he sang, immediately. “Don’t climb up, that’s the wrong way.”
How amusing. T.J. felt himself chuckle as he smiled.
“Huh. Did not expect you to have a song for that.”
It appeared to be the right thing to say as the other boy’s face immediately lit up.
“Chocolate-chocolate chip muffin, right?” 
The boy pointed at him. “Scary basketball guy.”
Immediately, T.J. felt his face fall in disappointment. “Actually, T.J.”
The other boy continued to smile, almost teasingly. “I know.” He pointed at himself. “Cyrus.”
And that was how T.J. found himself getting on a swing and kicking himself into the air, feeling the wind rush against his face. For the first time in so long, he felt light. Free.
And Cyrus? He was great company. T.J. could see why he had a ton of blue strings. Cyrus was friendly and sweet. He had a way with words that could ease T.J.’s anxious thoughts and relieve him of the tension in his body. He had T.J. feeling like a little kid again, with no worries, no “stuff”. Just a normal kid on the swings with a friend.
And despite Cyrus claiming that he was scared of swinging higher, T.J. discovered that with just a little push (both literally and figuratively), the other boy wasn’t opposed to dancing with danger (as he so proclaimed it being on his bucket list just days prior). He was insecure but, really, what kid their age wasn’t? T.J. had his own insecurities, though he would never tell anyone.
He felt the tug on his middle finger before he heard the “Cyrus! You okay?!”
Buffy was running up to them and T.J., though he felt like a coward for doing so, tried to run away.
But Cyrus stopped him, insisting that Buffy was really cool. Of course he would say that! They were friends. Their friendship ran so deep that they were connected with a blue string!
Unfortunately, staying back just an extra minute to thank Cyrus for his help allowed Buffy to catch up with him.
“Cyrus, can you give us the playground?” she asked the other boy.
“Yeah, you know where to find me.” Cyrus, then, turned to him with a kind smile. “And so do you.”
T.J. felt his lips twitch in response, threatening a smile as Cyrus walked away.
His good mood immediately dampened as soon as Buffy started talking to him. And what more, she decided to web-diagnose him with a learning disability?! As if he didn’t have enough problems already?!
He was so angry and upset that he didn’t even notice the tingling in his fingers.
It wasn’t until he was attempting, for the millionth time, to do his Math homework that he saw it.
A new blue string was wrapped around his previously empty pointer finger.
..........
It didn’t take T.J. too long to figure out who was on the other side of that new blue string.
He had been talking to a classmate about a group project for English when he felt the tug.
It was followed by a “Hey, not-so-scary basketball guy!”
Immediately, T.J. ended his conversation with the kid and turned to greet Cyrus.
“Hey, Underdog! What’s up?”
Clear as day, a light blue string hung between them.
And it meant only one thing…
“If I could get an RSVP ASAP, I think I can get you into my Bar Mitzvah parteee,” the boy cutely stated.
He handed over a heavy envelope and T.J. could hardly believe that it was really for him as he stared at it for a moment. He rarely got invited to his peers’ events unless their parents forced them to. But, his name was right there, scrawled at the center of the envelope in a neat cursive.  
Cyrus was personally inviting him to a party. Cyrus saw him as someone worth having at his special day of all days. Cyrus saw him as a friend.
Looking up at the other boy, T.J. smiled and gave him a short nod. “I’m there,” he replied, coolly.
He had a friend. A real, genuine, blue string friend. He was so happy.
..........
As T.J. watched Buffy tear it down the basketball court as the crowd cheered her name, he felt his black string tighten even more. His team was out there, dominating…without him! And all because he failed his last Math test!
And he hated the feeling. He felt useless. A loser.
“You’re not playing?”
T.J. looked up at him, glaring as he felt his anger flare. “Nothing gets past you,” he said, sarcastically.
The other boy frowned. “I’m not here as a punching bag. I’m here to see if you’re okay.”
Normally, he would feel touched at that. Cyrus was his only real friend, after all. His blue string was still tied around T.J.’s finger. It didn’t disappear like T.J. initially thought it would.
But, his anger and insecurities were all at the forefront. He ended up snapping at the boy, instead.
“How about...you’re not here at all?” he sneered before walking away, ignoring Cyrus’ concerned looks.
That boy didn’t deserve a friend like T.J. He didn’t deserve to be tied to him. He deserved better.
He found himself leaving the gym and grabbing a snack from the vending machine.
As he watched a bag of cheese puffs fall from their perch, he felt the tug on his blue string.
The door opened and Cyrus appeared beside him.
“Eating your feelings?” the other boy stated, casually before smiling. “I do that!”
T.J. felt annoyed but he didn’t have the heart to push him away a second time.
That was how he ended up telling Cyrus about his possible learning disability: dyscalculia. He felt so ashamed and he hated feeling so less than. There were so many things about himself that he didn’t understand.
Why couldn’t he do simple Math?! Why was his brain wired differently from everyone else?! Why did he have to be different?!
But, with just a few words, Cyrus made the worries about dyscalculia disappear, even for just a moment. With just a few words, he made sure T.J. knew that nothing was wrong with him. That he wasn’t different.
If only Cyrus truly knew about his ability to see the Strings of Fate. Would he think differently of him then? Something told him that Cyrus wouldn’t care. Maybe he would even find it cool. But, should he tell him?
In the end, he decided not to.
“She may have been right, but you’re the one who really helped me,” he told the younger boy.
Cyrus broke into a small smile, blushing almost, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
They talked for an hour before Cyrus realized the time and decided that he needed to get back to Buffy.
T.J. felt almost disappointed but knew that Buffy’s blue string with Cyrus was far stronger than his ever would. She was probably unknowingly tugging on it without realizing.
As he got up to throw away the trash (between the two of them, they finished an entire bag of cheese puffs and two packets of cookies), his pinky finger caught his eye.
Curiously, he brought it closer to his eyes, examining it.
Was it just him or was the string getting longer? That was different.
..........
Sometimes, T.J. would lie awake in bed at night, just staring at his strings. Specifically, he would stare at Cyrus’ blue string.
A lot had happened ever since that fourth blue string appeared. And, every day, with no fail, T.J. could feel it getting stronger…firmer. Even the color was getting brighter, a calming blue that reminded him of the sky.
Cyrus was sadder these days, though. Buffy had moved away and T.J. felt guilty for not patching up before she left. The black string felt less tight but didn’t completely go away. He wondered what it would take for it to disappear.
And, then, that pink string. And he still hadn’t figured out who made it appear. He thought he would know since he figured people knew who they ended up liking and falling for, but he truly had no clue. (He added that little tidbit to his notes.)
Absentmindedly, he tugged on the blue string around his pointer finger.
Not even a minute later, his phone ping-ed with a text.
Hi! Watcha up to? Cyrus texted.
Smiling, T.J. texted back. Nothing much. Staring at my ceiling. Wbu?
Ooohh, must be an interesting ceiling. Taking a break from studying. History test tmrw.
Ouch. U got Carter, rite?
Yep. He’s a nightmare.
Sorry 2 hear that. But I’m sure you’ll do great.
Wish Buffy was still here. We always study 2gether.
At that, T.J. sighed. He wished there was something he could do.
Pursing his lips, he typed a respond. Well, I’m decent at history. Want me to help?
Heart pounding, he anxiously waited for Cyrus’ reply.
It arrived quickly. Will you really? I don’t have history ‘til 6th period but I have study hall at 4th.
I have class 4th period but I can meet you at lunch, if you don’t mind spending an hour of your life with me.
T.J. sent the text before realizing how it sounded. It sounded so…flirty. Was that an okay thing to send a friend?
Before he could send a follow-up, Cyrus had responded.
Sounds perfect! I’ll see you there! Got 2 get back to studying!
Feeling giddy, T.J. replied, Okay! See u 2morrow!
He put his phone away now and laid back down on his bed, sighing. He raised his hand up again, looking at his strings. The sight of them used to dampen his moods, reminding him that he was someone unworthy of having a real bond with, since he had so few.
In fact, Cyrus had a lot, most probably from his family and a couple of good friends. T.J. knew of Buffy, Andi, and Jonah and T.J. was sure he had other friends as well because he was just that great of a person. He even had a red string, granted it was broken, but still. He wondered who was on the other end of that string. Such a shame that person didn’t return the other boy’s affections, Cyrus was a great guy.
Because of him, T.J. didn’t really feel jealous of other people’s strings anymore. He had all the important ones wrapped around his fingers (except for Buffy’s black string, of course, but he was working on that).
His gaze went to the pink string that seemed to be getting longer and closer to red day by day.
That string was still such a puzzle to him. It changed everyday. But, what did it mean?
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moonnfairie · 6 years
Text
Proximity
Real Life!AU - Chapter 2
Author: softmochijm
Pairing: Reader x Jungkook
Warnings: Alcohol use
Word Count: 3,677
A/N: I was pretty surprised over the things I wrote myself, but in the best way possible of course. Oh, love. Don’t we all love love??
Hope you enjoy the chapter!! xx
Approaching your neighborhood, you wondered if you should just jump out the car and run to your house, but you figured you’d blame yourself for being a coward just because you didn’t want to run into Andrea... at the party that was being held for her.
“I hate how I live so close to him” you sigh with an irate look on your face. Taehyung and Jimin just look at each other and laugh, making you smirk but still try to hold your ground.
Jimin chimes in to try and ease your worries. “I think you’re overthinking it, Y/N. It may be her party but you know how these go. You drink to your heart’s content, mingling here and there, seeing the host maybe, what, once or twice? Then you’re out of there with free alcohol in your system!”
You giggle at his words, feeling more confident about what you’re about to experience. Exiting Taehyung’s car, you can already hear music blasting from outside Jungkook’s house. People littered on the front lawn with red cups in their hands, a couple smothering their faces into each other against the fence on the side. It’s going to be that kind of night.
With Jungkook’s house having the same exact layout as your own, you burst through the front door and head towards the kitchen. If it was anything that was going to help you through the night, it was going to be some drinks. You walk through the living room, packed with sweaty dancing bodies. How he managed to fit a little DJ booth in here, you’ll never know, but you nod your head at the music as you pass by the tall speakers. Up ahead, you see the entryway to the kitchen, and stop in your tracks to see Jungkook and a couple of his other friends attempting to mix some drinks.
“Step aside, losers. The cocktail connoisseur is here” boasts Jimin, and the little crowd opens up to greet him with loud screams and chants. Taehyung then walks in from behind you to grab an already made drink from one of the other boys, leaving you to stand there awkwardly, just a few feet away from the one person you want to be the absolute closest to.
You watch as Jungkook’s eyes crinkle at the sides as he smiles, licking his lips before he greets his two best friends. “Ah, yes! The alcoholic and party fiend is here! Cheers!”
Your feeling of endearment fades as you watch the boys smack their cups together, liquid escaping the brims from their force. “So, who’d you bring along tonight...” Jungkook’s voice trails off as he turns to see you standing stiffly, watching the drunk mess that are his friends.
“Oh h-hello Y/N! They didn’t tell me you were going to make it tonight.”
You huff and proceed to step closer to him. “I mean, I only live a couple houses down, Gguk. Figured I’d grab a drink or two then leave you to your fun.” You reach in front of him to grab what he was already making for himself and chug it down. Flashing him a smile, you retort “Wouldn’t want to miss Andrea’s birthday for the world!”
The boys around you chuckle and whisper to themselves throughout your whole interaction, and you feel as though you’re winning this little game, until one of them shouts “Where is Andrea anyway? You gotta let her out of your room sometime Kookie! That’s not the right way to get someone in bed!”
The group of boys erupt into laughter, leaving Taehyung and Jimin to look at you sullenly while Jungkook watches as your smile fades away. “Seriously, guys, shut up.” Jungkook demands. You forcefully place the cup on his counter and storm out of the kitchen, raising your hand up behind you to stop Taehyung and Jimin from following you.
“Obnoxious.. fucking annoying.. little brats...” you say between gritted teeth. You walk through the crowded living room again to head to the backyard through the glass doors. Surprisingly enough, you see Jin and his friends sitting around the bonfire, various beer bottles lined along the bottom of their chairs.
“Y/N, I didn’t know you were go-”
“Yeah yeah neither did I, Jin. But yet, here I am! At a party I really don’t give two shits about! Give me some of that!” You interrupted as you snatch his beer and chug it down, Jin’s friends all laughing at your little display.
“Hey, slow down Y/N. If mom finds both you and I drunk out of our minds then we’re both screwed. Just sit down and relax or something.”
You hated when Jin was trying to be the adult, especially since he acted anything but. His friends were here, however, and he had to act like the “responsible older brother” he was.
You fall into the chair and fix your skirt, noticing how everyone’s eyes haven’t quite left you yet. From around the fire sat Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi: Jin’s closest college friends. They’d come over every now and then so they could nerd out and play Fortnite together. You’d sit and watch a few of their games too, knowing how hilarious they’d act after dying in second place. They were overall very amusing to watch, and you found yourself particularly drawn to one of them too.
Yoongi was Jin’s polar opposite. Where Jin was obnoxiously talkative, Yoongi was more kept to himself. That isn’t to say when he were to speak, however, he would have the most intellectual remarks, and had a genuine passion for whatever discussions you held with him. You were lucky enough to share a conversation with him one day that he was over, and felt yourself intrigued by him ever since.
You were discussing what women were looking for in men, a topic Jin had trouble listening in to as he had just come out of a relationship. Jin stormed out of the room leaving you both to go in depth about your perspectives on relationships. It’s not like you were quite keen on them to begin with, considering anything you’ve come close to was merely your crush on Jungkook, but Yoongi further delved into his own relationship experience, leaving you to listen and nod along to all of his interesting stories.
When you told him you’ve never been in a relationship before, his eyes widened in shock, making you drop your head in embarrassment. You wanted to be on Jin’s friends’s level, as you always admired them, but this felt like a setback to you, making you think Yoongi would only look at you like some young and dumb adult. But to your surprise, he lifted your chin with his finger to make you stare directly at him, calmly saying “It is rather unfortunate for someone like you to not have experienced a relationship yet, but I hope some day you do. You are a wonderfully beautiful woman after all.” You felt yourself blushing beet red at that statement, and before you could say anything back, Jin entered the room, making Yoongi continue playing their game together.
Yoongi was something in the back of your head ever since, and seeing him tonight made you melt a little. He was looking at you with sincerity, sensing your uneasiness, but you flashed him a small smile just to prove that you’ll be okay.
After half an hour with your brother and his friends, you heard the indoor crowd get louder, talking about singing happy birthday and blowing out the candles. This signaled everyone to come inside, but you were definitely in no rush. As you got up, Yoongi joined your side and you smiled at his presence.
“It’s dangerous to like someone who’s in a relationship, you know.” You would normally heat up at a comment like that, but Yoongi’s calm tone wouldn’t allow it. “Yeah, yeah. I know that” you say as you roll your eyes. “I’m more... upset, if anything, over us drifting. I really don’t care that he’s dating Andrea.”
The crowd of people gather around and start to boisterously sing, covering the birthday girl from your sight. “Then why aren’t you singing then?” Yoongi shouts.
You turn to stare him down, but he only laughs and joins in song. You just look ahead towards the glow of the candles with your mouth shut tight.
After a while, people returned to their spots with cake in their hand, allowing you to finally see Jungkook and Andrea cutting and passing out the slices.
“Want me to go grab you one?” Yoongi generously offers, making his way over. “No, no. I’ll go with you.” It was an impulse decision, one you wish you didn’t make, but you were full of courage at this point, and decided to just head over yourself. You haven’t seen her the entire night anyway.
“Mind if I have a slice?” you coyly ask, as Andrea turns around and opens her mouth in shock to see you. “Oh my goodness is this Y/N I see? I didn’t even know you were coming!!” She puts down the knife and your plate and hugs you tight on the spot, Jungkook’s eyes never leaving your own. “Little Jungkookie here didn’t even tell me. I’m so glad I get to see you again!” She turns back to pick up the utensil and plate and cuts you a generous slice. Yoongi’s holding in his laugh and you roll your eyes at her overly exaggerated positive attitude.
“Oh, he didn’t? Shame.” you say shaking your head and reaching out for the slice. You want this interaction to end immediately, tapping your foot as Andrea cuts Yoongi’s slice painfully slow.
“Yeah, about that, Y/N, do you mind if I talk to you for a little?” Jungkook cautiously asks.
You weren’t having it and definitely didn’t want to make a scene, noticing Andrea’s face falter a little at his question. Yoongi grabbed his slice and you turn quickly on your feet to make a run for it. “Don’t leave the birthday girl by herself, Gguk. We’ll talk soon!” and you dash to the backyard.
Jin and his other friends are no longer there, so you opt to remain with Yoongi. “As I was saying...” he declares, like you’ve been talking this entire time. “You’re torturing yourself. Look how she swoons over him.” Your heads both turn to see her trying to place cake on his face, laughing uncontrollably when she finally swipes some on his nose. You shudder in disgust. “Lord, this is torture” you both laugh and you place the plate of cake in front of him. “I didn’t even want this anyway.” He shrugs and flashes you a gummy smile “well, it’s more for me then.”
As you’re leaning down, you pick up Yoongi’s unfinished beer bottle and raise an eyebrow at him for permission. He nods calmly, watching you tilt your head back as you finish the bottle dry.
“We should go out drinking sometime, you definitely seem fun to do it with.” You laugh more than you expect to, your head starting to spin with all of this intake. “Ohhh yeah, sure! I’d love to. Honestly, I’d love to do anything with you-” you smack your hand on your mouth, eyes wide in horror. You really didn’t mean to have that come out, but you just can’t help it. It wasn’t like you were lying anyway, but you didn’t realize how your inner thoughts have found their way out.
“Is that so?” he sweetly asks with a smile. And you shake your head vigorously to try and tell him otherwise, but you sigh in defeat. The alcohol has really gotten to you. “Shit I’m sorry Yoongi. I mean, I’m down to drink with you or whatever. Sounds coooool to me.” You were slurring again, leaving Yoongi to smile at you endearingly.
“Well I mean, we could do anything, not just drink. How about we catch a movie sometime?”
You really have no idea how your big mouth allowed for things to play out like this, as shocked as you were, you found yourself surprisingly happy, even swooning over how good he looks just talking to you. Even with the alcohol, these feelings were genuine, and you couldn’t help but blush.
“I-I mean, yeah, okay! Let’s do it!” He smiles with his wide gummy smile again and your heart melts deep in your chest. You both continue to talk for the rest of the night, gazing at the fire and each other all throughout.
A couple days pass and you find yourself getting ready for your movie date with Yoongi. You tilt your head as you stare into your vanity mirror, wondering if you’re wearing “too much:” A white oversized button up with red pinstripes, light blue distressed jeans, and your tan loafers.
“... Nah” you say shaking your head. You’re going on a date with Yoongi, you had to make sure you looked good.
Jin barged into your room looking for who knows what, but stops to see you goggling at yourself in the mirror.
“What are you doing” he asks sternly.
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you look good?”
“Wh-What? You mean I’ve never looked good to you before??”
“Well, ye-”
“Shut up. I’m just... going out tonight. Let me look ‘good’ for once.”
He stares at you and you could see the gears twisting in his brain. “Does this... have to do with Yoongi’s unavailability tonight?”
You stop playing with your hair at his question and slowly move your eyes over to him, not trying to reveal any expressions.
“Uh... no?”
Jin continues to stare at you, but breaks into his loud laughter a few seconds later. “Yeah, I don’t even know what I was thinking. Anyway, have fun or whatever!” He shouts slamming the door behind him. Jin would actually have a heart attack if he were to know anything about you and Yoongi, so you decide to just keep it to yourself for now.
You sigh in relief but become alarmed once more at the vibration your phone makes. You open it to see a text from Yoongi:
Fr: Yoongles
Hey, I’m outside. you ready? or should I come in?
You
No no that’s okay!!! I’M COMING DOWN!
You frantically gather your things and run down to the living room, abruptly passing Jin and yelling “OK I’M GOING OUT NOW BYE BE BACK SOON!” before he could ask you anything else about tonight.
You smile to see Yoongi staring at you from the driver’s seat, hurriedly exiting the car to hold the door open for you. You thank him with a generous smile as you climb in.
There was a comfortable silence throughout the ride, something you enjoyed as you liked to watch everything pass you outside the window. Every now and then you’d look over at Yoongi staring straight into the streets. How one hand held the wheel while his other was on the stick-shift, relatively close to your thigh. You wondered what would happen if you were to risk it all and reach for his hand right then and there, but you were interrupted by the loud music you heard coming from outside.
Yoongi had taken you to a drive in theater. The sky was a beautiful mix of blue, pink, and purple. Various different cars lined up in rows with people setting up their spots with blankets to get comfortable for the night. For the first time, you felt butterflies in your stomach, and you looked over to Yoongi gazing at you with a tenderness no one’s given you before.
He pulls up next to a dark red pickup truck, one that piqued your interest considering it heavily resembled the truck Andrea would drive you around town with. You shrugged it off nonetheless and got out of the car to help Yoongi set up the trunk. He had a hatchback with plenty of room for the two of you to sit and enjoy the movie. He placed a blanket down, handing you one to wrap yourself in as you plop into the trunk.
La La Land was playing tonight, a movie a hopeless romantic like you would thrive on watching despite how many times you came across it.
“I didn’t take you as a chick flick kind of guy, Yoongs.” He snickered at your remark. “Neither did I, but I asked Jin what kind of movies you liked and he said you were a huge fan of this one.”
You furrowed your brows in confusion. Jin knew about this?! Why was he acting so dumb earlier...
Your train of thought was brought to a halt at the faint obnoxious laughing you could hear coming from your left side. You lean forward to peek at who would be making such a raucous to find your blood boiling over the view of Andrea, arms linked with Jungkook, both laughing like they heard the absolute funniest joke in the world.
“God damnit!” you yell aloud and Yoongi turns to you and pitifully laughs. “We could move, you know.” He starts. “It’s fine by m-”
“Oh my GOSH is that Y/N!!!”
You hide in your hands. “Oh God no. She found us.”
Yoongi continues to crack up, and peaks his head over, resulting in another over exaggerated gasp. Andrea squeals “With Yoongi???”
“With Yoongi?!!” That question catches Jungkook’s attention and he stares at you two in disbelief. They make it over to his trunk and Yoongi climbs out to greet them. Wrapped and warm in your little blanket burrito, you decide to greet them from within the confines of Yoongi’s trunk.
“I didn’t know you guys were a thing” Andrea chimes accusingly, both you and Yoongi responding “We aren’t!” urgently. You hear Jungkook huff a little, while Andrea continues to pry.
“I mean, it sure looks like it... It’s cute, anyway!” You can’t help but roll your eyes every time she speaks. How could someone be so annoying. “Oh... my... gosh... how about you two join us for dinner after this!”
You and Jungkook abruptly turn to face her, eliciting a loud “WHAT?!” from the both of you. Andrea laughs it off and continues “Yeah!! Let’s, like, totally do it! I get to hang out with Y/N again anyway! Oh Jungkookie please??!” You look over to Yoongi and stick your tongue out in disgust, but he gives you a soft sad look, making you roll your eyes.
“Well...” Jungkook stutters. “If you guys are down for it, then so am I.”
You hesitate a bit, fumbling with the bottom of your blanket as Yoongi climbs back in. But you were one for the people, and as much as you despised Andrea, maybe this was actually a way you could hang out with Jungkook again.
“Sure.”
You’re at the part of the movie where they start to sing City Of Stars, a huge weakness that would tug on your heart strings. You had actually watched this movie with Jungkook before, and sat next to him as well. You wondered if he felt the same emotions you felt during this scene. How the song played at the idea of the both of you wanting someone in a world filled with millions of others.
You looked over in attempts to glance at Jungkook, only to find Yoongi staring back at you. You jump a little, but smile. You found comfort in Yoongi’s deep, dark eyed stare. It’s like he could express his whole spectrum of emotions just through looking at you, and you could tell he was trying to tell you something.
You were always confused towards Yoongi’s compliments and advances to try and spend more time with you. He was “just Jin’s friend” if anything, and you always shrugged it off thinking he just liked being your friend back. But his eyes were telling you that he didn’t ask you to the movies tonight as just a friend. How his conversation about relationships and his compliment towards you wasn’t just a friend talking to a friend.
It was like he craved affection. He craved the feeling of being loved, and you saw it the more you kept staring. Your mind was swimming in thoughts of trepidation of what would happen next, but the closer he leaned in to you, the more your mind went blank, and your lips met his in the most gentle and tender manner ever.
He raised a hand to your cheek, cradling your face as you parted and gazed into each others eyes. You didn’t realize your heart could feel so happy after falling for someone who didn’t care back.
You were both leaning in to kiss each other again but were startled to hear a few things dropped not too far from you.
“Shit!!!”
You and Yoongi turn in the direction of the scream to see Jungkook looking straight back at you. Startled to meet your eyes, he hurriedly bends down to pick up the hotdogs he had just purchased.
Yoongi gives you a soft smile, then quickly gets up to run over and help him. You wait a little to see if Andrea will get up and help as well, but look over to find her sound asleep sitting upright in her trunk. You laugh at how her mouth falls wide open as she lifts her head from falling, then get out of your blanket wrap to go help clean as well.
“Dude, are you okay?” Yoongi asks Jungkook calmly, and as you approach, Jungkook just looks down again.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I just... tripped.”
You handed some napkins to Jungkook, who in response gives you a weak smile and quickly hurries back to Andrea’s truck. You wonder, did he see you kiss Yoongi? Is this why he’s acting so weird?
You climb back in the trunk, worrying about what Jungkook could be thinking, but forgetting all about it when Yoongi reaches out to hold your hand, City Of Stars coming to an end on the big screen.
Chapter 3
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magilitness · 6 years
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just jumbled thoughts as usual
Sometimes I wonder whether I truly love someone or was it just hormonal. I can’t differentiate it because I am always in denial. I deny my thoughts whenever my heart racing like crazy whenever he is near me, whenever he laugh and have an eye contact with me. I don’t know was it love or could it be that I was just being hormonal? I try as much as possible to be neutral around him like I used to when he wasn’t single. I’ve read somewhere that the first attraction from a person is availability. I try so hard to not control my smile or laugh when I’m around him because I wanted to convince myself that he would just see me as a friend, nothing more. Isn’t it better to be in love secretly rather than being vulnerable and tell the world about how you feel towards someone?
Sometimes, I also wonder what if you fall in love again with someone after your marriage? Marriage is a gamble, my mom said that. You would never know whether he is the right one or not and you might regret later but what else can you do? One thing I know about my heart is that it will only fit one special guy. But, I don’t know when will someone I like will like me back. Maybe yes, I should have more confidence in myself. Maybe confidence is an attraction that I don’t own. 
Okay, let me be clear about one thing. If I befriend with a guy, it was because I purely wanted to be his friend but in case for this guy, he is just fcking perfect. He is someone that I want to have in my life. His personality and attitude towards things are just something that I wish I can learn from. It’s just unfortunate because there are so many things that would hinder my imagination from coming real. Maybe, it’s better to keep the feeling as a secret crime, maybe I would still learn from him that way. The things that I feel might just be hormonal. I don’t know what’s love anymore. Maybe because I don’t really have it in me. I need to know myself, to love myself so that I can speak up for myself. Also for me to know and differentiate between imaginary love and real love. Between the thin line of friendship between a male and a female to whatever the society categorised what a male and female should be in a relationship. I need to say this out loud so that it would sound sane in my mind and by saying it out loud, means writing for me. I need to put this somewhere out there for me to know that I am doing a vulnerable thing like putting up myself to the public even though this blog is only known to my close friends. A person said that she adore me because of my bravery but I don’t feel the same. The truth is, I am a coward of my own life. I am a big loser. Sometimes I feel like I need people to listen to me and do what I wanted them to do because sometimes I feel like people do not take me seriously. There is always something wrong with me whenever I’m being hyped, it’s either my behaviour is too annoying or my voice is just too high pitch that I sound like a child instead of a mature adult who supposedly can control herself in public or whatever maturity really means. Ugh, sucks.
 Everything sucks in adulthood. Now I am not really sure why exactly I feel excited 10 years ago, to enter adulthood, to live on my own blabla. Is everyone like me? Immature, naive thinking. No, certainly not. There are people who got matured since their teenage years, or even before that. 
As I got older, I know that I have not tried so many things, have not visited so many places and not experiencing a good love life as what I have always imagined during my younger years. I have read somewhere that love when you’re ready, not when you feel lonely. Not until you are comfortable to be alone can you have someone in your life to fill the void that you think comes with physical fulfilment. I think I am too comfortable to be alone now that I think having someone by my side would be a trouble for me, even though, initially, I think my soul needs to be loved by someone and I need to love someone unconditionally. I enjoy watching movies in the cinema alone, go to eat at the restaurant alone, I know that I am enjoying my life even though I don’t have someone to accompany me. I know that I am capable of making myself feel happy without someone who calls me his. There are times when I feel like I do not want to get married. For some people, marriage is just a legal contract between two persons who promise to leave their wealth to the other person when they die. I don’t share that idea of marriage but I do think that marriage is for committed people. Forget the case where people got into arranged marriage, I’m talking about the marriage that two genuine person who meet each other in their 20s or 30s and in love enough that they choose to promise each other to be loyal and truthful to each other to get into a legal relationship called marriage. If I can give a definition not one that’s defined by my religion, I would call it ultimate decision in life that someone has to make. Anyway, now that I write about these things, I feel a tremendous feeling that actually I think I am alright being like this. Although I do like him. I should not expect that he will like me back for whatever reason he has, right? Why would I spend the time to think about how should I change to be more attractive to just attract the attention of this one person. As long as I am happy with the quality that I have, I think I’ll be fine. It does not mean that I don’t have something in me that I want to improve, it’s just I think, maybe if I being satisfied with the things that are not in my control,i.e: the person you like to like you back, I’ll be happier. Having a bf is not everything either so I should not worry about it. When the time comes, he will appear in front of me LOL okay, I shall not expect anything about this matter because I might be disappointed later. 
Jodoh is His mystery. I shall let myself be surprised and shall not be wondering about it. When the time is right, anything can happen. I hope for the best. May the odds forever in my favor.
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celepom · 7 years
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Trollhunters Book Review
I did not like this thing. I can see the parts that remained in the animated show, but they improved on so much and for that I am grateful. Because if the show had been anything remotely like the book it would have been vile but even more tragically - BORING.
It goes without saying that everything under the cut will have spoilers.
The Writing Style
First of all, it’s written in first person and it really shouldn’t be. Like most YA novels written in FP it is done incredibly poorly and cheats that narrative several times. This is Third Person Perspective with First Person Pronouns and it’s really REALLY bad at times. The style itself is inconsistent and its hard to follow what’s going on sometimes because characters just drop out of existence/the scene when the author doesn’t have anything for them to contribute.
It is also gross for the sake of being gross. In the show the “Biology” of the trolls is at least consistent. They’re stone creatures. In this? They’re sacs of puss and goo that vomit up their own internal organs in order to be more sneaky. There’s shit, vomit, blood and guts everywhere in this book.
There were several points in this book where I could tell that it was both written by a man and for a male audience. It was very distracting, but that may just be personal preference. I prefer a more neutral narrative voice, I guess. (Think of it like a movie where the camera suddenly pans across the female character’s ass. It’s like that male gaze, in written form, but toned down because it’s YA)
The Characters
Man, you know all those characters in the show and how you love them and want to keep seeing them grow or have redemptive arcs? *bitter laughter* There is none of that here. Absolutely none, and it’s both frustrating and depressing
Jim
This guy has nothing on Jim Lake. He has no hobbies, no interests, he labels himself as a loser and is quite content to remain that way up until he finds his Magical Calling and suddenly for the first time something is easy and so he loves it. He’s a Gary-Stu, essentially. He is a blank slate for the reader to project themselves onto.
AND HE DOES NOTHING BUT WHINGE!! There is a difference between a character having a realistic reaction to dark circumstances and Whinging. Jim reaches Bad Batman Angst Fic levels about how NOBODY Understands him and he has NOBODY and he must GIVE HIMSELF UP TO THE NIGHT!
That is up until 3/4 of the way through the book when he suddenly starts deciding that being a Trollhunter is amazing (They start winning - that’s what causes his attitude shift), but even then he continues to WHIIIIIINE.
Toby
Toby at least had some redeeming qualities in the show. And you bought that he and Jim were friends in the show. Here? They’re friends because they’re both losers and Jim really isn’t that great a friend to Toby. And since this book is written in Fake First Person, he often gets ignored. Out of Sight, Out of Mind and all that.
Blinky
Oh Fraser Book Troll Dad you certainly came a long way. Blinky in the books is a (mostly) blind Troll that is a tentacle monster. When he starts talking it’s similar to how he does in the show - intellectual - but instead of being gentle, supportive, protective and instructive he....well he’s a condescending asshat. He also drones on and on and on (usually about himself/his dissertation) and there is no sense of companionship between him and Jim, because, well, he doesn’t know him! He’s also more of a fighter than just a scholar in this.
AAARRRGH!!!
AAARRRGH!! is actually female in this. Actually, it mentions that most Troll Warriors are female because they’re more built for it than males.She also has brain damage which was interesting until the book shat itself at the end (Her Brain Damage was caused in her fight with Gunmar when he slammed a boulder into her skull and the remnant remains. And then at the end the remnant is removed and suddenly she can talk “intelligently” again - to quote the book). In place of moments where AAARRRGH!! goes berserk we have her being possessed by Gunmar’s eye, which she ripped out of his head during their battle 45 years ago. Oh, and she eats several of Toby’s cats. Like at least 15 of them (”Three square meals of cat”). And it’s treated as a joke both times it comes up (FUCK YOU BOOK)
Claire
Claire was barely in this except as a love interest (and one other very stupid “surprise” at the end, but we’ll get to that). In this she is Scottish (Not British, as Jim assumed at the beginning of the book). She has wild hair, isn’t stick-thin, is “weird” but still makes friends and is fairly popular. But it turns out she’s living a double life - pretending to be a different person for her parents who want her to be an upstanding, rich, ideal young lady. But her true calling is to be a Trollhunter because like Jim she is from a magical human family of Trollhunters!!! (At least she had training in swordplay/fencing. Unlike Jim who pulled the skills out of his hobbyless and inathletic ass)
Jack
Jack should have been the main character of this book. Period. This story should have nixed Jim in it’s entirety because he was ultimately pointless. Jack meanwhile actually had stakes in the war going on, especially after being involved in it for 45 years. He unwillingly gave up his life as a normal kid to help in putting an end to the murders of nearly two hundred children. He’s frozen in time - a 68 year old man trapped in a 13 year old body - because living with the trolls stopped his aging (It was never properly explained why - it’s just what happened). It’s also his fault for Gunmar being back since instead of striking the killing blow 45 years ago Jack sealed him away. That’s why he stuck around for 45 years, out of a sense of responsibility.
The Major Differences
Jim isn’t the first Human Trollhunter. In fact Human Trollhunters have been around since ancient times and always have been the PRIMARY Trollhunters because up until around 300 years ago ALL Trolls were Gumm-Gumms. No joke. In fact, all of the Trolls in Europe and Asia are STILL Gumm-Gumms and only a group of separatist Trolls and their descendants (Trolls live a long time - 300 years is nothing) who traveled to the Americas are “Good Trolls” who think eating people is bad. And yet they relapse into eating people sometimes too.
Trollhunters are mythical lines of humans whom always historically heeded the call to protect people from Trolls who consider them a nice snack or meal if they take several at a go. One of these families is the Sturges, but since Trollhunting was basically non-existent in America they didn’t uphold any of the history, training, anything. So after tracking down one of the legendary families Blinky and AAARRRGH!! kidnap one kid (they tried for two, but the second one got away) in order to help them fight off Gunmar since the pacifist trolls had forgotten how to fight....Except they had an army and FWHFLIEHGF- IT’S STUPID, MOVING ON!!
And for anybody who likes the Changelings, they are completely different in this and not sympathetic, tragic, or interesting at all. How are they made in the book? By Nullhullers vomiting on the target to create a cast of them which then develops into a copy of that person (Baby) from the vomit and viscera. And then they carry the baby off...to be eaten. Yeah, I hold no notions that those babies weren’t tortured then devoured after being fattened up. Not in this book.
Jim isn’t living with his single mother, he’s living with his single dad. His dad who is a paranoid control-freak who turned their house into a bunker basically. There is a reason for this, his brother - Jack - disappeared when he was young, but it’s spiraled so far out of control it’s really NOT. OKAY. He also only starts coming around after a troll parasite makes him “feel better.” And after all these years when he discovers his brother is still alive he gets very creepy about it. Jim Sr. is no Barbara Lake that’s for sure.
There is no training, not really. Training consists of Jack demonstrating sword moves to Jim Once. ONCE. But that’s enough because magic inherent Trollhunter genes means he memorizes and knows how to perform all of those moves after being shown by someone else doing them once. THAT’S HOW INSTINCT WORKS!!
The Annoying Shit AKA The stuff that made me lose my suspension of disbelief
The Milk Carton Epidemic.
Troll Market is not accessed by magic (except when it is) and it is literally underneath the city. HOW HAS IT NOT BEEN FOUND WHEN IT IS LITERALLY CONNECTED TO THE SEWERS AND YOU CAN HEAR CARS DRIVING OVERHEAD??!! WE DO GO INTO SEWERS! WE MAINTAIN THEM! AS WELL AS ROADS WHICH SOMETIMES REQUIRE CONSTRUCTION!!
Trolls can fully regenerate within a day if their gall bladder is not destroyed (Thank you for getting rid of this, Dreamworks/ Del Toro/ Whoever)
There’s no Magic Armour or Weapons. The only armour anyone wears is by the character Jack and it’s made of scraps like tacs, boom box speakers, book coils, etc. And the “Medallion” is just a trinket that allows the wearer to understand what the Trolls are saying. Because, yeah, they don’t speak a Human sounding language. (That doesn’t get annoying with how it alienates Toby or anything. No siree)
Gunmar the Black was sealed away and Killaheed Bridge will release him....Except how, like I said, Troll Territories are literally underground and they walk through the sewers and old mines(???) to get to where he’s “Stuck.” (Again, THANK YOU for changing this to the Darklands because another dimension I can understand not being able to WALK OUT OF for 45 years)
Steve. STEEEEEEEEVE!!! I hate generic bully characters, but this one takes the cake. He abuses other students in front of teachers and they accommodate him to the point where he is disruptive to other students IN CLASS but they do nothing. He has even less personality here than in the show. And Jim doesn’t stand up to him until near the end because he’s a self-admitted coward, but even THEN He isn’t the one who gives him a verbal smack-down - IT’S CLAIRE. Oh, and turns out he’s a Changeling. So they can kill him at the end. *cough* Male Revenge Fantasy *cough*
THAT ENDING THO
I mean it when I say the ending was a fusion of Chekov’s Guns and Ass Pulls. You remember this thing that was mentioned back at the beginning? How about seventeen different things??? WELL SEE! THEY’RE ALL IMPORTANT TO THE FINALE!! But, Oh, WAIT that isn’t fun enough so here’s a bunch of stuff that wasn’t forshadowed at all (Pulled straight from my ass) but I’m gonna act like makes perfect sense!!!
And then they kiss while covered in and surrounded by blood and gore while Steve is casually killed in the background because I’M Special and SHE’S SPECIAL and that means we’re PERFECT for each other.
Oh what’s that? Did we actually save the day? What happened to the weird guy? AH WELL WHO CARES KISSING DREAM GIRL
No seriously was that half-asses sequel bait because it was just dumb
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myhahnestopinion · 7 years
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The Night A DRUNK REAGAN-HATING SOUTHERN ZOMBIE OUTLAW Came Home: HOUSE II - THE SECOND STORY (1987)
House is not exactly a thrilling title for a horror film, or any film for that matter. It provides no intriguing descriptors for what the nature of this house may be, whether it be a haunted house, or an abandoned house, or a fun house. It doesn’t even provide any architectural descriptors of what this House might look like. It is indeed an all-around awful name, but it’s clear that the creators had other things on their mind when picking their title. Namely, the obvious pun that they could use for the sequel, House II: The Second Story. It appears that this film’s title was supposed to be punny enough that we would ignore the fact that the creators didn’t have a second story worth telling.
While the film may proudly promote itself as being “the second story” though,  it’s actually a story we’ve seen many time before, containing pieces of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Jumanji, The Mummy Returns, Army of Darkness, Stagecoach, and Real Time with Bill Maher. Oh, and add just a dash of the original House, in that this film takes place in a house.
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So, what exactly is the titular “Second Story” of the House franchise then? Well, things start out simple enough. A young couple, the current occupants of the fabled House, are seen handing off their baby to someone else, before returning to the House to investigate a noise upstairs. A tall, cowboy hat wearing figure cloaked in shadows stalks them, growling “Where is the skull?!”, before shooting them both with a revolver. The shadowy figure does not succeed in retrieving his skull from the couple, because they are now dead, because he shot them with his revolver. Not sure why that didn’t work out for him.
Now, after this cold open, you are probably wondering about the direction this story will take. Seems fairly straightforward. The baby that was given away will return to the house and seek to keep the skull away from this shadowy figure, who probably desires it for some nefarious purpose. That is indeed the bare-bones plot of this film. What you’re probably not understanding is the material this film uses to fills out that plot. You see, you probably wouldn’t expect that story to include dinosaurs, Aztec warriors, a creature that is half dog and half caterpillar, and a drunk Southern zombie that hates Ronald Reagan. But it does. It really does.
Now, you may be wondering how all those things could possibly work in the same plot. Well, let me tell you right now that they do not.
After the cold open, we are introduced to our hero, Jesse, the grown man version of that baby from the beginning. Jesse is moving back into the House with his girlfriend, Kate, who works for a record company. Also in the House are his friend Charlie, who is frequently drunk, and Charlie’s girlfriend Lana. The film really only cares about two of these four characters though. (Hint: it’s not the women.)
When looking around, Jesse discovers a photograph of his great-great grandfather, an Old West outlaw, holding a crystal skull outside of a Mayan pyramid, his partner Slim in the distance. Without stopping to explain what an Old West outlaw was doing treasure hunting in Mexico, Jesse immediately decides to go exhume his great-great grandfather in hopes of procuring this skull. What a guy, this main character is! Considerate enough of his family heritage to move back into the mansion of his ancestors, not considerate enough of it to not dig up their long decaying corpses for more riches!
So, Jesse and Charlie go to the graveyard, dig up the grave, and open the coffin. Suddenly, a zombie hand shoots up! It grabs Jesse by the throat, and throws him and Charlie into the grave! He looms over them, and pulls out a revolver! Yes, they buried him with a loaded weapon, and it’s not looking good for our intrepid heroes! Well, it’s like what they say, if guns are outlawed, only drunk Southern zombie outlaws will have guns.
Jesse is able to stop the zombie from shooting them by revealing that he is the zombie’s great-great grandson. The kind of great-great grandson that desecrates his ancestor’s grave for greedy purposes, but hey, a great-great grandson nonetheless. At this point, the zombie begins to speak, revealing his “Aw, shucks” Southern accent. Why, he’s not a vicious outlaw, he’s a charming little grandpa! How Sweet! Charlie and Jesse affectionately dub him “Gramps,” before taking him back to the House.
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Here, he is able to discover the wonders of the modern world, which includes tissues (which he declares to be a magical thing), drinking (also magical), pollution (also…magical…?), TV (not magical!), and of course, Ronald Reagan! Watching an old Reagan movie on TV, Gramps remarks that he looks like a weak coward who would never survive in the Old West! He doesn’t even know Reagan is President at that time, and has never even seen a movie before, but he automatically picks out Reagan as a loser! Man, I wonder what he would have to say about a draft-dodging, POW-insulting, thin-skinned, reality-star President….
Gramps isn’t the only outdated ghoul with reactionary political opinions that this film has to offer though, because, in the next scene, Bill Maher shows up. Yes, the actual Bill Maher. If there’s one positive thing that can be said about House II: The Second Story, it’s that Bill Maher is perfectly cast as an annoying, smug douchebag. “You’re a funny guy,” Bill Maher’s John later says to Charlie. “That’s very rare in my business.” He’s right! He couldn’t even find a funny guy to host his HBO show!
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Bill Maher plays the boss of Kate’s record company, and is one of many guests at a Halloween party thrown at the house. Also a guest: Gramps, whose zombie appearance is disguised within the costume party! Also a guest: a caveman! Yes, a caveman walks out of one of the rooms of House, and comes to steal the crystal skull from Gramps.
Good houses have a strong, reliable structure. House II: The Second Story is not a good house, nor a good movie. The main focus of the film is Jesse and Charlie’s need to reclaim the skull from various historical groups that come to steal it, because House is made of Mayan stones and the skull opens portals through time. The caveman steals the skull, and Jessie and Charlie have to travel to the Prehistorical era through a room in House. There, they wrestle the skull from the grip of a Pterodactyl. Then, because Gramps simply places the invaluable skull over the fireplace, it is instantly stolen again by some Aztec warriors. Well, at least I think they’re supposed to be Aztec warriors. It’s a little confusing since they’re white.
Now, to be fair to House II: The Second Story, most of this is played tongue-in-cheek, and the film has a slightly humorous tone. This is best exemplified by a scene where John Ratzenberger, from every Pixar movie ever, appears as an electrician who is also a part-time adventurer. He pulls a sword from his tool box, and helps Jessie and Charlie fight the Aztec warriors after venturing through another portal in House.
Okay, fine. You want a wacky adventure movie. I can deal with that. It’s dumb, it’s awful, it’s tonally inconsistent, but I can deal with it. WHAT I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT DEAL WITH IS WHAT ACCOMPANIES THESE WACKY ADVENTURES!
See, what happens is on each of these excursions, Jessie and Charlie pick up a handful of new friends. After going to the Prehistoric times, they return with a baby Pterodactyl, and…. a caterpillar-puppy…? It has the body and skin-tone of a caterpillar, and the face of a puppy. Sure it presence shows no regard for reasonable storytelling or evolutionary logic, but think about all the toys they probably sold of this thing! If you had a crystal skull and mansion made of Mayan Stone that let you travel back in time to 1987, you would see that every kid was clamoring for a caterpillar-puppy that holiday season!
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So, what cute pet do they pick up when they travel to ancient Mexico to retrieve the skull from Aztec warriors, you may ask? Why, none other than a… young Mexican virgin…? 
Yes, after saving her from a sacrificial ritual that involved the crystal skull, Jessie and Charlie bring this young, nameless, Mexican woman back with them as well. She doesn’t say a single word for the rest of the movie, because, apparently, if they don’t speak English, they don’t speak anything at all. 
She doesn’t need to speak though, because Charlie can tell just by the look in her eye that she likes Jessie! Wow, how romantic! Who wants a regular old girlfriend when you could have a sexy, silent foreign one! All of the beauty of a woman, none of their talking, right? Right? Jessie should just ditch his old girlfriend now, right? Am I right?
…Oh no.
I am right, apparently.
No, no, no! I was joking, House II. Don’t... don’t do this to me...
Yes, see, at the Halloween party, there is a misunderstanding where Jessie attempts to show his girlfriend Kate that there is a Pterodactyl in the closet, only to open it to find his ex-girlfriend is hiding there instead. Hurt, Kate leaves the House with Bill Maher. Now, you might assume that this is set up for a climax where Jessie has to win back the trust of his girlfriend, who will learn that House really does contain Pterodactyls. That’s how a regular story would go! But House II: The Second Story is no regular story.
So, instead, after the party has ended and the skull is reclaimed from the Aztecs, Jessie sits down for Thanksgiving Dinner with his new friends. There’s Charlie, and Gramps, and baby Pterodactyl, and puppy-worm, and mute nameless Mexican woman! After saying grace, Jessie stands at the head of the table and declares, “You guys are my family now.”
No.
Just no.
When Fast and Furious began throwing the word “family” around, I shrugged, because those movies are ironic fun. When Suicide Squad threw the word “family” around, I laughed, because that movie was a poorly constructed mess. WHEN HOUSE II: THE SECOND STORY STARTS THROWING THE WORD “FAMILY” AROUND, IT BROKE ME!
Look, I’m all for acknowledging that family can extend beyond blood relatives, BUT YOU DON’T GET TO ABDUCT A WOMAN AND DECLARE HER TO BE YOUR NEW FAMILY MEMBER BECAUSE YOUR FREQUENTLY DRUNK FRIEND SAYS SHE HAS A LOOK IN HER EYE!!
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So, this so-called “family” sits down for their thanksgiving meal. Jessie lifts the top off the turkey pan… only for Gramp’s undead gun-slinging partner, Slim, to rise up from out of it. Hey, I said I wanted my turkey slim, but this is ridiculous!
Oof. Sorry about that one, guys. I had to.
Anyway, Slim shoots Gramps and steals the skull. Despite being a zombie, this bullet mortally wounds Gramps. Maybe he just lost the will to live, because as he tells Jessie on his deathbed, “I’ve done all I can in this world.” But Gramps, there’s still so much you haven’t experienced about the modern world! Beyond tissues, pollution, TV, and Ronald Reagan, we’ve got…
No, wait, actually that’s about it. Carry on, then!
So, Gramps dies, and Jessie engages in a shootout with Slim around the House. The police come, Slim shoots one. Jessie blows Slim’s head off, killing him. The cops fire back though, hitting a body of liquor, which starts to burns the House down. Grabbing the skull, puppy-caterpillar, and Gramps body, Jessie runs through the burning House, into one of the rooms.
We’re now in the Old West. Jessie has buried Gramps, and places the Crystal Skull on his tomb. He looks over to see his “family” of Charlie, puppy-caterpillar, and mute, nameless Mexican woman in a stagecoach. Mute, nameless Mexican woman smiles at him, and they all ride off into the sunset. Yes, in honor of the legacy of the man whose grave he exhumed for riches, Jessie becomes an outlaw in the Old West with his family.
Wait, if they traveled back in time, wouldn’t Gramps still be alive in the Old West?
Woah, wait!  What if Jessie was Gramps all along?! What if he used the skull to transport back in time to the old West, where he became an outlaw and found the Crystal Skull, creating a temporal loop?! Gramps name was even Jessie, too! Woah!
AND WHAT IF CHARLIE WAS REALLY HIS PARTNER SLIM ALL ALONG??!
AND WHAT IF THE PUPPY-CATERPILLAR WAS REALLY A DOG-BUTTERFLY ALL ALONG??!!!
AND WHAT IF THE MUTE, NAMELESS MEXICAN WOMAN WAS ACTUALLY AN AUTONOMOUS HUMAN BEING WITH HER OWN PERSONALITY AND INDEPENDENT THOUGHT ALL ALONG?!!!
Nah, that would be ridiculous.
Like this movie.
The film certainly has a grab-bag quality, throwing in various elements from a lot of better films. While certain parts of the film have a fun sense of whimsy, mainly the interactions between Jessie and Gramps, as well as John Ratzenberger’s part, these enjoyable bits are very fleeting when tied up to a film with no consistency in tone or internal logic, and an almost hilariously offensive treatment of its female characters. Inconsistency and a unclear vision should probably be expected though when you base your entire film… well, your entire franchise really… around one awful pun.
Oh, man. I really don’t know how many of these films I can take. I’ve been through pitiful attempts to keep a franchise going long past its time, pitiful attempts to start a franchise, pitiful attempts to capitalize on popular brand names, and, now, I find myself so far down in the bowels of horrible horror that I have to go through films based entirely around puns. Luckily, it’s almost Halloween! I’m almost free! Whew! I gotta say, It’s About Time this volume of The Night X Came Home wrapped up…
House II: The Second Story is available on Blu-ray and DVD.
NEXT: The Night A CANDID SEXUALLY-LIBERATING CLOCK Came Home...
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galesiege-blog · 7 years
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               “Please.. Don’t smile”
               Is what I keep telling myself the whole time I was here. Trying to ignore you, who is standing there behind the cashier counter, smiling. Yes, i know I’m a lifeless loser who never did well in anything that I do. Going nowhere every weekend but to buy some snacks in this small convenience store near my house so I have something to eat while I play video games the whole day. I know that, everyone keeps reminding me that too, so why don’t you stop your friking smile? Is it that fun to tease me? Is it that fun to make fun of someone below you? Feeling relieved that you see someone that is worse than you, thinking that by being ‘nice’ to me makes you far more superior.
               Tch, I’m used to that. You are not the first one to smile for me like that, and I’m sure you’re not going to be the last one to wait for the perfect moment to hurt me behind all that.
               So please, lips. No matter what, please.. don’t smile back.
               “Please.. Don’t smile”,  keeps ringing in my head non-stop.
               I know this is late at night, i know it’s weird to buy some stationary at this day and hour, and I friking know the pencil I’m looking for isn’t likely to be found in this kind of store, so please stop smiling at me! Stop trying so hard to browse through your ledge to find some left over stock in the storage, stop replacing your always-smiling-face with that serious look, stop pretending this stupid purchase is so important! The store is not empty anyway, you should just ignore this and just attend another customer, you don’t have to ask to your co-worker to stand you in, you just have to say no and let me be!
               Is it that fun to tease me? I already hate myself so much for this procrastinating habit of mine, I’m struggling to convince myself I will be fine at my practical test tomorrow without my stationary, maybe someone will lend it for me.. Maybe.. May- Oh fuck that, I never even speak to anyone at my class, no one will do that, let alone speak to me first. Yet here you are, running out of breath, handing some stationary that I already gave up on, smiling. Please..
               “Please.. Don’t smile”
               I know all of this is chicken nuggets, all 10 bags of them, I know that. I’m someone who can’t handle himself. Rice, instant food, and tea is all that he can cook, I friking know that. I tried to look away from your eyes, trying to evade some lame questions like “Why don’t you just buy some food? Aren’t you bored with those?” that I already hear a thousand times. If I have the money, I wouldn’t go to this small, insignificant convenience store, wouldn’t I? So please stop smiling, and please stop writing that ‘cheap and delicious recipe that I learned’ on that paper. You know damn well that I won’t cook that, let alone buy the ingredients, so why did you get me some of those ingredients and put it in my bag? Why did you say it’s your treat? You think I’m that helpless without someone like you, don’t you? God, you disgust me. And for god sake, please..
               “Please.. Don’t smile!”
               And stop that giggling of yours! I know I’m faking reading this book. I know that middle-aged woman in the store is looking for me, that’s my mom! I don’t want to see her, I know what she wants! She thinks that being alone in the city is bad for me. Well, I don’t want to prove her that she’s right! I don’t want to go back to dysfunctional family where everyone argues, I don’t want to be the only ‘burden’ that family has! So stop that giggling of yours! Why didn’t you just tell her that I’m here, why did you lie to her that I’m not here? Do you think I’ll feel indebted to you? That I’ll be ‘that guy’ who will flock to you and do whatever you want? Stop that!
               “Please.. Don’t smile.”
               Don’t hand me that canned drink. Don’t sit right next to me. Just leave me alone this empty park.
               This is not the first time that I fail. My life is filled with failures. Everyone that says I’m talented are stupid. They don’t know what I’ve been through. They don’t know how hard it is to fulfill their expectations, so please don’t smile at me as if you know how it feels. It will be better if you just act like an annoying girl you are. Just giggle and talk non-stop like you did on the back of that cashier machine. Why did you just sit there and do nothing but to sip your tea? And why.. Did you look at me that way? Why.. Did you smile? .. Why?
Please..
               “Please.. Don’t... Smile...”
               Is what I’ve been trying to say with my mouth, yet no words are spoken. Just a bubbling sound, a murmuring voice, and a cough of blood. Oh.. Right, there’s a hole in my stomach, a knife buried there. I don’t know what happened, it all happened so fast.
               I do know that bastard lying over there, bleeding from his head, is trying to rob this store. It would be over without any incident if you, stubborn cashier, would just give him the damn money and stop acting like a hero. No one will save you, not even that coward of a guy you called co-worker there. He called the police only after it’s too late. I already smack that bastard robber with a glass bottle from the shelf near me, we already wrestled like there’s no tomorrow, and he already stabbed me. Heh, not before I smashed the second bottle to his pitiful head though, if only I have enough strength to smash the third one.
So.. Why are you smiling? Why don’t you just keep crying and screaming? Where did your panic go? Why did you smile? I’m not saving your life. I smashed that bastard because I want to vent all of this stress that I have. I was thinking that maybe if I don’t have the guts to kill myself, maybe that guy can do it for me. I’m not a noble man. I’m a selfish, helpless loser. So why... Are you smiling at me?
               Your drops of tears landing on my face, washing away bits of blood. Then I realized why she is smiling. It’s because of me. I’m the one who smiled at you first.
               Why? Why did you smiled at me back? Why didn’t you just say thank you and find help or do whatever normal people does? Why did you stay here and hold my hand?
               It’s okay to just pretend to find help. I know there’s no helping me anymore at this rate. I can’t even feel my hands anymore. See? These hands are losing its grip, it’s slowly sliding off the palm of your hands. Why didn’t you just let it go? Why.. Did you stay? Why...?
               “... Why?”
               “Please.. Don’t smile..”
               “Please.. Don’t..”
               “Please..”
               “..”
               “.... Stop smiling!”
               I know I can’t fix my own tie, I never wear this damn thing before! They never stop saying that I must wear this friking suit. You know I hated it! And stop fixing my buttons too! I..
               “.. Can do that by myself. Is what you want to say, don’t you?”
               Is what she says, smiling at me, while tilting her heard to the side a little bit, rustling that silvery hair of hers. She then took a step back, and spun around as if trying to show off her pure white dress, the one she won’t stop talking about. Waving her bouquet of lilies, her favorites, as if trying to spray her happiness around this quiet room.
               She stops, her eyes looking straight at mine. Smiling.
               “Please..”
               “.. Stop smiling?”
               She cut my words before i can finish it.
               “Then why are you smiling yourself?”
               And then, she smiles again. The smile that i hate. The smile that brought me here. 
               I hate that smile.
               I hate that it keeps reminding me that I can never say to myself or to you:
               “Please don’t smile”
 ~End~
Artwork of Astera Viola, the main heroine of the story made by CurrentlyFkinGarbage http://currentlyfkingarbage.deviantart.com/
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