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intheshadowsbehindyou · 7 months

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Hey I've been wanting to ask you for a while a request I've had. Can I have some headcanons of the mercenary's realizing their feelings for the 10th merc after they brutally bash in a enemy's skull in for trying to kill said merc. And then the 10th merc looks at them with extreme concern while checking up on them. Before turning around and killing another enemy that was about to kill them.

I would love to see the mercenary's reaction to being saved by their crush and having to deal with the horny panic of finding them attractive.

If you dont want to do this that's fine. Thanks again for making really good tf2 x reader content! I love it! Byebye have a good day/night.

The Mercs realizing they have feelings for Y/N after watching them brutally kill an enemy (NSFW)

WARNING: severe amounts of simping

Scout:

- Oh. Oh.. OH. OHH NOOO! OUR SCOUUTTT. HE’S BROKKEEENNN

- You look so dazzling with the blood on your clothes and the rockets whizzing past you. The explosions in the background creating a fine backdrop. Cue the cheesy romantic 40s music as you kill people in slow motion and Scout is in awe.

- You’re confused. He had been standing there even after you had successfully cleared the point. You wave your hand in front of his face and he doesn’t react.

- In his head he’s already having romantic fantasies of frolicking with you on the beach and bashing in people’s heads. The idea of you beating the shit out of him particularly makes him feel a certain way. He has no idea why. Oh god, is this normal? Wait.. Why is he already having thoughts of marrying you and growing old together?

- Immediately goes whining to Spy like a little pussy about you. He’s batshit scared of you but also has the most confusing boner. Good job. You sent him crying after his daddy. You hear a “SPYYYYYYYYYYYeeeEEEE!” as you leave the battlefield. Followed by a groan from said frenchman.

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Soldier:

“NOW HANG ON PRIVATE THATS NOT EXACTLY— Oh.. Ah..” Soldier hisses through his teeth and puts his fist to his mouth, his helmet falls back a bit from the impact you made of kicking an enemy demoman’s sticky bomb back to him. You can see his expression is incredibly conflicted about this. With mild arousal. Holy shit. Somebody as batshit crazy as him. Who the hell kicks an active explosive?

- Because on one hand, you’re impractical yet affective at what you do. Just like him. But on the other hand that’s HIS THING. NOT YOURS! He’s one to act incredibly erratic on many occasions when strategy is in the back of his head awaiting the stupidly fast yet eons long conveyor belt.

- Becomes incredibly infatuated by you on the spot. Creating a sort of vague idea in his head on what you could be like. Cue very vivid fantasies of you and him strangling a sumo wrestler while naked, claiming france as an American owned country for some reason by sticking the flag into the tip of the Eiffel tower while naked, and having a fine American breakfast on the deck of your cottage.. (while naked.)

- “Is that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” You ask him afterwards. “NEGATIVE. THAT’S A ROCKET. I ran out of room.” He lies. You believe him because that sounds like something he’d do.

———————————————————————-

Demoman:

- You destroy a sentry nest he was trying to demolish around a choke point. He’s both offended, and slightly attracted. You’ve destroyed his pride and humbled him. Normally Demoman is the only one who can take down a sentry nest unless Medic has full charge on somebody — among other things.

- He opens his mouth to protest but you silence him with an award winning smile that makes his heart flutter. As you run past him to head over to Medic and regain your strength, he’s scratching his stubble. Trying to comprehend the slurry of feelings. Demoman is an adult and he’s old enough to be fully aware that you can feel multiple emotions at once; that doesn’t make him any less disoriented though.

- “Ay.. finally somebody who’s on my level!” he calls after you. Promising he’ll outrank you next round. His competitive nature demands it. He’s trying so hard to ignore his boner right now. Assuming it to be just from adrenaline.

- Well, you’re tied. You’re both equal amounts on the next scoreboard. He stares at it on the intel computer terminals in disbelief. He immediately downs a shit load of his scrumpy. Holy shit. He has a massive crush on you now. Begins to wonder how drunk he can get before he forgets about this.

———————————————————————-

Engineer:

- You distract him so much he doesn’t even realize the jammed shell in his shotgun at first. You’ve made him lose like half of his life experience in a fraction of a second and he tries to take out the jammed shell and ends up burning himself. “God. DANGIT.”

- inwardly embarrassed and trying to make it seem like all was normal; he slaps the back of the gun so the shell falls out. Continues trying to defend the points… emphasis on tries. You’re his type AND you’re blood thirsty. He can’t help but feel slightly intrigued. The sparks of what would eventually be a crush once he starts talking to you more.

- He can’t bring himself to think filthy thoughts of someone he just met, he wasn’t raised like that. Occasionally the thought crosses his mind and he becomes a little angry with himself. Please stop being sexy in front of somebody who was raised in the bible belt. PLEASE! he would beg you if it didn’t sound so weird out of context.

- Fuck it. Christian shame doesn’t beat nature. He has to jerk off to the thought of you after battles in the shower. You’ve fucked him up.

—————————————————————————

Heavy:

- “Heavy, i’m fully charged. Focus on the soldiers in the front and tell me when to— Was zur Hölle?!” Medic complains, looking away from Heavy’s WAY too apparent hard on.

- Heavy would make a great ice sculpture right now. He’s both sweating and frozen in place as he watches you tear the enemy lines to shreds. He rarely feels this way for anybody at all. Heavy was certain his libido evened out as he got older but you just brought him back to square one. He felt like a horny teenager again.

- He wants to lick the blood off your neck so bad. It’s disgraceful. He feels like a disgusting sewage pipe and suddenly wishes the respawn machine didn’t exist so he could permanently die out here just to forget this even happened.

- Eventually waves his hand for Medic to pocket someone else. Goes over and helps you kick some ass. You indirectly both bond from this and successfully kickstart your connection.

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Pyro:

- You’re the same as them in their point of view. A ‘misunderstood’ killer (Yeah, okay..) who wanted nothing more than peace of mind while they went about their daily business!

- The enjoy he sees in your eyes as you land a hit is marvelous. Every single swing of your melee felt like some sort of complex ballet. There was birds and neon colors following you wherever you went. You’ve now given them a weird fetish for adept mercenaries they had no idea they even had. They want to meet you RIGHT NOW.

- air blasts a poor demoman off a cliff you were fighting. “Hey. It’s alright. I got this.” You tell them. Pyro just tilts their head. You walk on to cap the cart and Pyro follows closely behind you. “What’s up?” You finally ask him, out of curiosity. Pyro just stares. You begin to recall horror stories that the other mercs told you of Pyro.

- They continue following you around as your own personal bodyguard. Engineer tells you that he does the same to him on occasion. To the extent of protecting his sentries. Apparently Pyro just follows people around like a dog because they have no idea how to communicate their interest.

—————————————————————————

Sniper:

- Watches you a day before a match doing target practice atop a bridge. The targets in question are in the ravine below. The way you so effortlessly hit each target, only missing a few — for some reason caught his attention. He lowered his scope from his eye and preferred the entertainment of you for a moment.

- You get angry after only missing two. Taking your long range and throwing it aggressively into the ravine. Sniper has no clue why you did this, considering you’re the first person in a while who hasn’t fucked up this course right off the bat. For some reason your aggression is getting him hot and bothered. Is this just a weird preference or a sexual thing? Holy shit, he has no idea.

- Sniper brings his legs together to hide his wood. “Eyes both open with a gun like that, mate. Instinctive to close an eye but I guarantee you, if ya just focus on nothing but the target then boom.” He says. Wondering if maybe he was just overthinking and his penis was being insane.

- “As if you shoot with anything else besides a fucking sniper rifle.” You talk back. “I do, actually.” He says, shrugging at your rage. He didn’t feel like sassing back right now. He was tired. “I could show ya if ya want.”

- He bites his lip, applying pressure to the point it’s red. It was both your bad attitude and shooting skills. He loved a partner who was needlessly edgy. This is seriously the type of guy to swoon over the most edgiest of individuals. Eat nails for breakfast and wear a biker vest for god’s sake while you’re at it.

———————————————————————

Medic:

- Uhm.. Medic’s a little weird.

- Not only is he aroused by you in general but the blood on your clothes and in your hair. The way you kill enemies in-and-itself is arousing him. Much like Engineer he tries to focus on his job to no avail. Ends up pocketing you all day and after the other Mercs ask him about it, he claims it’s because they’re all annoying and not doing their jobs correctly again.

- He sits at his desk at night trying to do paperwork. He can’t focus after what he’s seen today. He begins having incredibly fucked up fantasies of eating your organs. Or you climbing into his chest and sleeping in there. Better yet? sex with both your entrails hanging out! knife play! biting! Dear god he’s gross. God, just shut up.

- He puts a hand to his own heart, feeling his heartbeat. For a second he suspected he was getting possessed or something. But no, he’s just incredibly horny. “Archimedes.” Medic said breathlessly. “I do believe i’m moonstruck. Which is unacceptable..” He sort of laughs nervously.

- Coooo. Brrr.

- “Yes, I wholeheartedly agree.” His voice is hoarse. Medic picks up his bonesaw at the end of his table and looks at his own reflection in it. “Every time I love somebody it ends horribly. Best just get what I want and move on.” He says, darkly. What he doesn’t know is that this is the start of his relationship with you. Enticing you to have sex with him — with your consent — it brings you and him to an incredibly intimate level.

————————————————————-

Spy:

- MOTHERFUCKER AINT PLAYIN. he doesn’t waste time. He sees a fellow serial killer and he immediately goes in for the kill. (Pun intended.) But yeah this is Spy we’re talking about here. He’s a manwhore and I thought the canon already established that.

- “That was some fine work out there.” He tells you slowly. His hands behind his back. “Would you care to join me for a second?” He offers his hand. Which you take hesitantly. He takes you to his quarters and attempts to court you. Which works because he’s something straight out of a romance movie with his clever quips.

- “I have a feeling—“ He begins, slowly offering his hand and hovering it above your thigh, placing it down and rubbing you slowly when he didn’t sense any discomfort. “That we will enjoy each other’s company often, my pet.” He looks for your approval. Any sign of it.

- Dude is so fucking slick that you can’t resist him. He’s unbelievably experienced in romance and knows how to charm his way into your pants. It was like you were under a spell by a hypnotic snake. He ends up getting what he wants and doesn’t hold back. His knife is threatening your back and he’s atop you. “Shhh.”

- Sex happens. Aggressive sex. Right off the bat.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #demoman x reader #heavy x reader #medic x reader #spy x reader #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #pyro x reader #sniper x reader

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ceasarslegion · 25 days

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I know i have a lot of teenagers who follow me because i dont baby talk to them regarding things like drugs and alcohol and sex. So i wanted to throw out some advice that still saves my ass every day as an adult that i learned to instill in myself as a teenager:

-Learn how to keep house. I know that every adult is beating job skills into you right now and its overwhelming to say to least, but no matter what you end up doing with your life, you will need to know how to cook and clean and budget and go grocery shopping and do laundry and the dishes and x y z. You will need to know how to work with cleaning products like bleach safely and without creating mustard gas by accident. If you figure that out now, you will be able to take care of yourself for the rest of your life. Those are skills that you WILL need every day in the real world no matter what.

-i want to asterix the budgeting part. I know way too many grown adults who could be doing very well for themselves who are broke as shit and actively getting worse because they cant budget to save their lives. Managing your finances is what will often be the difference between living relatively comfortably and struggling to get by.

-dont get roommates if you can help it. I know you will want to, and it will seem like a fun idea to live with your friends and like nothing would go wrong, but roommates ruin friendships. If you can afford to live on your own when you first head out, do it. Trust me, paying the full rent is worth not having to deal with other peoples bullshit taking up your living space. I learned this the hard way, dont be like me. The only people you should be actively looking to live with at the young adult stage of your life are any permanent partner(s) that might come along the way, and you should rush that either. And taking some proper time to be on your own will do you so much good in the long run in realizing what kind of person you are and what you need in things like work, relationships, life in general, etc.

-you don't need a brand new car, and your first apartment doesnt need to be high end and fancy. All your firsts for those things need to be are functional, safe, and reliable. And you will love them regardless if theyre your first car/apartment. And you dont really NEED a car if youre an urbanite with a reliable enough transit system, either. Thats more of an individual thing if thats your situation. I live in an older apartment building with a stove from a brand that doesnt even exist anymore, but its real spacious for one person, in a nice part of downtown where everythings still right outside my door, and all my utilities are included. I pay 500 dollars less in rent a month for this than my coworker who lives 2 blocks away from me and has half the space i do with none of the utilities included because its all smart tech and luxury suites in that building. You don't need all that, you will not notice the difference when you actually live there.

-no one cares about high school tier drama when you hit your college years, especially if you go to an academically-based school. In my experience at least, the schools the nerds end up at think the d&d club is the coolest one on campus. This will pass, you will be fine. The nerds really do inherit the earth after you graduate, and all those bullies really do peak in high school. The guy who was the worst offender towards me in high school now literally pumps gas for his dads gas station because nobody else would hire him. Which is fine, its honest work, but it IS a tad ironic how things worked out there after so many years of telling me he'd be my boss one day. Yeah sure, howd that work out bud

-please dont get into drugs and alcohol just to be cool. I know every adult has treated you like some porcelain doll to be handled with baby gloves regarding any sort of substance, but if you choose to partake in them, all i ask is that you be informed about the risks, you do it safely, and dont do it for social clout. Its not the substances im most concerned about there, its that when you do them for social approval, you dont know when to stop or how to listen to your body telling you thats enough, which is a straight shot to a potential addiction. Its your choice whether or not to consume drugs and/or alcohol, but its irresponsible to act like theres no real risk involved in them, especially if you have the kind of personality more susceptible to addiction. Do them for yourself, in safe environments, as cleanly as you can get them if possible, and only after you educate yourself about what the risks are and what resources there are in your area for healthcare and counseling if you do develop an addiction.

-be selfish, but dont be a dick. Your young adulthood is when you should be selfish in the sense of prioritizing your own mental health, work ascension/schooling, etc, but you can do all those things without being standoffish or disregarding other people in the process. You should be there for your loved ones if you can, but if you cant, give them the common courtesy of telling them. A simple "hey, id love to help you if i could, but i have too much going on right now to spare anything. But im always here to talk about it if you need it, ily and im wishing you all the best <3" is way better than "i cant help you right now, i have my own problems to deal with."

#some thoughts

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meruz · 3 months

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another ask post

i mean i also read it because a friend whos rly into queer SFF fiction circles recced it but she did kinda lead with "the writer used to write hs fanfic...tasmyn..taz...?" to which i replied

of COURSE I read the locked tomb because i heard taz had written a book. of course. ill consume most any media made by a beloved homestuck bnf. thats also why i played undertale. and read like..snotgirl. and idk... watched the new dub of neon genesis evangelion.

if u made homestuck fanwork 10 years ago and havent even made it since chances are I still remember and I love you for it.

sdlkfhsg its funny you sensed that because that drawing did in fact start kinda more........ well, I'd be lying if I said my hands never wrought a drawing toeing over the pg-13 line LOL...

NOT to say i have a secret stash of porn or anything. in general im more interested in the implication of sexuality or mature themes over any explicit depiction. like everything i draw is so softcore itd almost feel silly to make a nsfw acc for anything.

but im not rly jumping to post anything on main either bc i get the sense i have a lot of kids in my social media following. it varies from site to site and fandom to fandom but the themes in my work often circle around childhood, coming of age etc and in general i like stories about kids so the fandoms i draw for have a lot of kids in them. even stuff like IT (stephen king) which is about kids but isn't necessarily for kids.. there were a lot of kids in that fandom lol.

actually thats why ive been censoring swears in comics lately because the tmnt fandom comes across to me as a little young...IDK I've had MULTIPLE people ask me what "sodomize" means because of the joke in this post and I'm like... I Cannot be the one to explain this to you. you have to look it up on your own klfsdhsdg like i wouldn't be doing this if i were doing a comic for mgs or even homestuck wherein the characters textually swear constantly LOL but sometimes u gotta change tacks depending on the faces u see in the crowd yknow.

i HAVE been thinking abt drawing nsfw of sunspot/richard rider/kobak from x-men red just because that comic seemed to be really asking for it. who knows.. if the need rly arises maybe my separate account policy will change.

its rly more a matter of the fact that i havent read/watched much of any other iterations... im sure id like most lol. I like most things related to my interests regardless of quality. i rly like the marvel ultimate alliance games for instance. sometimes seeing my fave guy is enough he doesnt have to be well written LOL. i dont exactly have a wealth of free time tho thats the real impediment.

i did watch the 2007 movie on new years eve and found it quite charming overall. and i have read about 30-40 issues between the mirage and idw comics. still feels like im barely scratching the surface but i liked em. i rly want to read all the sophie campbell stuff bc i think her work is interesting. jason aaron will be a mixed bag i think lmao. i say as the worlds biggest Wolverine and the X-Men (2011) fan.

hmm this is kinda hard bc i feel like i naturally draw very loose and the hard part for me is tightening it up. maybe some suggestions tho...

1) hand excercises. i think its easy to forget this when many artists sit in front of the computer all day but drawing is a physical activity u do with ur actual...bodys...muscles lol. if u feel urself tightening up it might help to strech (any google search for "artist hand excercises" should yield good results) or do a page of loose practice strokes like..big circles. long lines. scribbles. that kinda thing. whatever feels good for ur hand. this is also just good to do as a general warm up before u sit down for any drawing sesh.

2) draw further away from the canvas. as a general rule...when ur painting traditionally you do the big strokes with your whole arm outstreched and a long handled brush. and when you do the details its smaller wrist movements and a shorter handled brush. so it might help to take a step back or push back from ur chair a little.. or hold ur tablet a little further away. and hold your pen further away from the nib.

3) change mediums / brush types. some brushes and mediums are more suited to loose sketching and some more inclined towards detail work. so changing ur tool could help. also! i personally have this problem where sometimes if im using a brush i feel really familiar with the pressure to make a "good" "finished" "perfect" drawing is greater... if i want to force myself to loosen up ill switch to a tool i dont use as often so it feels like the pressure is off. a lot of times for me this is switching from digital to traditional. but sometimes its switching from a small pen to a big marker. or a smooth pen to a textured one. or a nice brush to a shitty dried up marker.

but also every body is different so i dont think these tips will work for everyone. u should listen to what ur body and mind tell u and how drawing feels to you

bro just sign up and set it up i dont think theres much to it... i dont rly think too much abt my itch.io store because its digital goods so u just upload the file and let it do its thing. no distribution work needed on ur part. youll notice i barely even advertise my itch unless i have smth new on there lol.. its easy. but good luck!!!

idk if im the best person to ask this im more a comic fan than i am a comic professional... a comic hobbist.

well. scott mcclouds understanding comics and making comics are good books on the craft. i think i had to buy them for a class in art school once.

other than that idk just keep at it. comics are really laborious i think for a lot of people the hardest part is sitting down and doing it.

i think a lot of people have a very instinctive understanding of how to read comics and what they look like so whatever you think seems like good way to tell the story you have in mind, its probably right. if u get stuck, study comics that have done something similar. most people in comics are relatively self taught and actually it can be problematic bc you can tell when a lot of comic artists are all copying the same like 5 old white guys LMAO. but on the flip side if you make sure to reference and study broadly your comics will almost assuredly feel unique.

sorry im responding to this anyways. this is just a really nice ask. i like when people reference my older work bc i feel like sometimes theyre subtly implying it wasnt very good LMAOOO. but its true! at least compared to the work i make now ^^ and the fact that im still making art is whats keeping me from being embarassed abt how much of my old art just floats around online lmao im never ashamed to be growing and learning. isnt that a nice thought <3

#ask #too much art talk in this one

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a-picrew-a-day · 9 months

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im kinda new here to this blog, and im sorry if this annoys you but im a harry potter fan and (assuming you dont like it because of jk rowling being transphobic) im not transphobic or anything of the sort, i have lots of trans friends who i love and support. just because we like the franchise doesnt mean WE'RE transphobic too. and in your dni part in your pinned post saying that harry potter fans cant interact i feel like thats not really fair to us potterheads that are decent and fun people that also enjoy the franchise.

again, really if this is an inconvenience, i just wanted to share why i thought that part of your pinned post wasnt really fair, i hope you have an awesome rest of your day

hey anon! rising from the dead to post this lol. I have a whole list of reasons why I have that DNI (listed below) however the short answer is, as an ex-fan myself, I don’t feel safe around fans excusing her actions for the sake of nostalgia, so feel free to simply not follow me! <3

I understand your intent with this. Harry Potter was my first ever form of comfort media growing up, and it’s held a place in my heart for years.

however, looking back, Harry Potter included racism and antisemitism (one of the few canonically black characters being named ‘Shacklebolt,’ Cho Chang, those two Indian girls I forget the names off, pretty much everything about the gringotts goblins and the arc with the house elves that enjoy being slaves, which is literally the excuse enslavers used during civil war here in America), which is reason enough to not want it’s fans to interact.

JK herself is also a terrible person, which you seem to already be aware of, supporting businesses made by people who identify with the terms TERF and feminazi. again, I get that you find enjoyment and maybe even comfort in the stories. but many minorities, not just trans people, have asked for people to stop showing support of her or her series. I don’t have Twitter so I can’t back up this future claim, but I have also been told that jk takes any support of her media, even if those people who like it don’t align with her beliefs, as support of her beliefs as well

I have also been told that JK is using her money to basically be the main financial funder of transphobia in the UK (I am American so feel free to correct me on that, UK followers :])

but overall, here’s the important part: if your allyship (or inter-community support) of black, Jewish, trans, Asian, etc. people (<- at least those are the main four I see asking for people to stop supporting jk or hp) stops when you enjoy something, you are not an ally. you seem to be using your trans friends as an excuse but that does not blind me from the fact you are actively engaging in media made by someone who has harmed many minorities and refuses to acknowledge or change her ways.

I, too, have friends in the minorities effected by JK’s bigotry. I have Jewish friends and black friends and Asian friends and pretty much my entire friend group is trans. plus, I’m trans myself. and all of them that I’ve talked to about this have said pretty much the same thing: we do not feel safe around you guys, and will not feel safe as long as you continue to side with Harry Potter or JK in any way

your fandom allows racist, anti-jew, transphobic people to thrive. don’t blame me for wanting to avoid that (‘not all Harry Potter fans’ and ‘not all men’ are pretty much the same, except you have to choose to be a fan of Harry Potter)

anyways I’m not gonna talk about this anymore, I’m not really made for the discourse side of the internet. I just wanted to share my perspective, as a trans person and someone who used to be a fan since childhood, in the hopes that maybe you were just ignorant (as younger me was) to this stuff. there are a million other posts on this site and others explaining (and explaining better than I probably did) why supporting Harry Potter is supporting jk, and why even if it wasn’t, it’s still a red flag to many minorities. I hope you continue to educate yourself and put your money where your mouth is in terms of supporting trans people

(also literally what was the point of this ask? what were you expecting to happen? /gen)

#not a picrew #tw harry potter #tw jkr mention #tw jk rowling #tw transphobes #transphobia #tw bigotry

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veeranger · 10 months

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Vee’s Steam Summer Sale 2023 Recommendations

as always these are just personal opinions etc etc please look up some real reviews before buying a game if you aren’t sure and remember that steam will give you a full refund if you have less than 2 hours played in under 2 weeks.

im going to try to recc stuff i havent shilled every 6 months for the last 5 years but the VNs are going to be the same as always honestly

Fighting Games

Guilty Gear -Strive- Ultimate Edition 2022 ($55.99)

yes im specifically saying buy ultimate edition because it has all the dlc as of this writing. buy the base version if you want but i hate playing fighting games with incomplete rosters.

anyway this is my favorite fighting game, bar none. this is the game that after years of screwing around on a bunch of other games finally got me to really want to get better and actually play against other people. there’s a super active playerbase and at least another year of support from arcsys on the way. the best time to start playing strive was a year ago but the second best time is right now.

Idol Showdown (Free)

yes im shilling a free game here. idol showdown is a good fighting game and the result of like three years of hard work from a small team. try it out and give them some love

Nitroplus Blasterz: Heroines Infinite Duel ($4.99)

this is not a good game but it is a funny game. saber is in it.

Narrative Games

AI: The Somnium Files - $7.99

one of the finest mystery games you can play imo. maybe uchikoshi’s best work. a perfect blend of mystery, character, and style. every character and conversation is compelling in its own way and every little thing builds up to the huge moments which makes them all feel totally earned. as always uchikoshi is a genius in the way he blends his signature branching timeline style with the themes and core concepts of the game. the twists and turns this game goes down are so crazy that weeks later you’ll still be realizing how all the little things you thought were just quirks were actually foreshadowing. cannot recc this enough tbh.

Zero Escape: The Nonary Games - $11.99

another uchikoshi joint, also extremely good. ive only finished 999, the first game in this collection, but i can recc it just based on the strength of that alone. whereas somnium is a murder mystery, 999 is a visual novel about being trapped in a murder game interspliced with escape room segments. whatever you think you know you dont, 999 will take you down so many twists and turns you’ll be fucking dizzy when you’re done with it. big recc.

VA-11 HALL-A: Cyberpunk Bartender Action - $10.04

i could probably talk about this game for as long as the others, even though its way way less complex. va-11 hall-a doesnt have a huge sweeping story with insane twists and massive reveals, but what it does have is an extremely personal narrative about loss, healing, and just living your life the best way you can in a horrible dystopian world. the cast of characters feel utterly real and you learn about the world they inhabit through interactions with them, rather than being infodumped by exposition. everyone has their own story and everyone is just trying to get by, including you. one of the best small scale personal narrative games ive ever played.

Night In The Woods - $9.99

another vn i would consider “small scale” but equally as impactful. nitw is a story about a disillusioned and struggling college drop out returning to her economically declining home town. nobody is secure, nobody is happy, everyone is suffering through their daily lives. you follow mae as she struggled to readjust to her childhood home and the people she left behind. until something happens that changes her priorities radically. all ill say. despite how i just made it sound, nitw is not all depressing. theres lighthearted moments and wacky days to cut through the bleak fog, as well as genuinely heartfelt moments that feel very earned. nitw is a game i think that everyone struggling through their 20s should play.

Grim Fandango Remastered ($3.79)

i know this is an old school adventure game and you might yell at me for sort of grouping it in with the VNs but i dont care. its a classic, its a beautiful game, everyone should play it. its old, it controls like shit, the puzzles are obtuse, but the experience is wonderful and memorable. its cheap as hell just go for it.

Action

Assault Spy ($4.99)

this goofy ass game is fun as hell. its a very dmc style character action with upgrades and moves to buy, and it actually has a pretty goddamn good mechanical system in place. the gameplay loop rules. only warning is this is not well optimized so watch your computer doesnt explode.

Marvel’s Spider-Man Remastered ($40.19)

i shouldn’t even have to shill. a must play for any spider-man fan. one the best spider-man stories ever hands down. such an incredible experience seriously. i cant even say enough here, if you haven’t played this yet you should do it asap.

Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales ($33.49)

everything i just said for the first game goes here too. a MUST play for miles morales fans. the combat is even better than the first too. you won’t regret playing this trust me.

Marvel’s Avengers - The Definitive Edition ($5.99)

no i’m not joking. ok well i kind of am but this game is getting delisted in september. it is an unforgivably mid piece of shit but if you have an interest in game preservation or playing something so bad they’re killing it forever, well here it is. they made all the microtransactions free btw.

Others

Tinykin ($13.75)

its like pikmin but its legally distinct! i like this game a lot, it has a very cute art style and its got easy to enjoy gameplay. i find it very relaxing. there’s a demo.

System Shock 2 ($2.49)

i will never stop shilling this game. fucking play it. its a cornerstone of video games. one of the most influential pieces ever put to pixel. you owe it to yourself to experience this if you feel any interest in it. maybe read a guide though its unforgiving if you screw around with your build.

Dead Space [2023] ($41.99)

exceptionally good. i dont have to shill the old shitty pc port of the original anymore. an A+ remake, i think it improves on the original in every conceivable way.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night ($11.99)

such a goddamn good metroidvania. its almost like the platonic ideal of a castlevania game. a true spiritual successor to SOTN. this isnt your dime a dozen soulslike vania, this is a true vania game in the best original style made by basically one of the core founders of the genre.

STAR WARS™ Knights of the Old Republic™ II - The Sith Lords™ ($3.49)

its a fuckin classic rpg. one of the best of the era. get it on pc so you can get that extended content mod they promised to import to the console version and then cancelled.

Save Room - Organization Puzzle ($2.09)

this is just a cute puzzle game. i like it.

#veepost

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safetycar-restart · 1 year

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enjoy this unhinged imagine of spending date night with sub!charles: on his yacht! with time stamps… and lots of kinky stuff 😌

[4 PM] the spot's isolated, the view’s great (it’s him. he is the view), paparazzi don’t bother this late when you’re far out, plus he knows the sea like the back of his sexy hand. before sunset, all you do is lay on your towel and watch him play in the water.

[4:30] charles is so silly, he always has to dive for the ball you’re passing him. you take so. many. fucking. pictures of your wet pretty boy. re-slathering him in sunscreen = mommy’s favorite activity. even the risque spots. you love when charles — ticklish as he is — squeals from all the relentless pinching. at least he won’t burn in the sun now 🦀😉

[5 PM] no, charles doesn’t have a red ass from spanking for once. it’s because he tried a rather experimental jump into the water. i swear he just craves pain. the man still can’t sit, so mister greek statue stands, dousing himself with a water hose for your viewing pleasure. he’s got the sexy yellow ICON swim shorts on because those are a must, and they really do fucking stick to his skin 👀

[5:30 PM] the barbecue? smoking like a stove. still not as hot as him! charles does all the cooking and cleaning for his goddess. even the dessert he prepped in the morning. you’ll probably eat it off his abs if we’re honest. a forehead kiss follows — you praise him for the tasty meal, only to snuggle and smooch together in a hammock on deck.

[6:45 PM] he makes sure he freshens/dresses up nicely in a black satin tux, black tie, cuffs, shiny shoes. mistress always picks his clothes. second dinner ahead: the yacht's master bedroom.

[7:10 PM] you rile up the incredulous cutie with a slow lapdance and pull his tie… which makes him go promptly insane 😊 no filter, these gorgeous moans are so damn loud. still dressed, he humps a pillow with no permission to cum, a thumb between your legs. you opt for riding his face to suffocate your honey bun as he deserves.

[8 PM] in typical fashion, charles is busy chugging liters of water after making you cum. the night gets worked up, you rip off his tuxedo, charles needs to feel some red ropes on his body. somebody ends up blindfolded, harnessed and tied to the bed with a hopeless erection unattended to. cue your favorite cock ring, some cane strokes to his thighs… until you edge him with a fleshlight, he swears his mind is breaking apart. pretty kitty will cry and gasp for air 😽

[8:30] this beautiful body twitching and straining is too stunning not to film. after charles feels like he died a thousand deaths and still throbs, you have him cum into his own curled palm. good boys lick up their mess! darling painstakingly cleans his hand with his mouth and chokes on those fingers like a champ. safe to say he’s all demolished… and you have so much juicy video footage of your beloved sub 💕

didn’t have a clue what aftercare/untying scenario would follow this up best, that’s where you come in ✍️ the suspense rises… how would the evening go on? 🤔

- george’s long legs anon 👕 enjoying your blog which is just marvelous, doing god’s work!! this is the place to be on f1 smutblr 🔥👌

👕 anon you are truly extraordinary. This is just… you keep on dropping these absolute masterpieces out of nowhere and I dont think I’ll ever recover from it.

Firstly, he’s planned this for AGES. One of his favourite things about owning a yacht is that he gets to take you on it, that you and him can just spend an evening or an entire day on the water together.

Especially because it’s something that Charles loves so so much? So getting to share it with his dom? Incredible. I also think he’s very protective of that time with you? He makes sure to not let his plans slip, because then his friends might ask to join. And he doesn’t want that!!! This is for his Dom and his dom only!!!

Of course charles knows the perfect place, and I think that he’s sentimental enough that he might always pick the same anchorage? Sure he’ll often explore new places with you, but when it’s time to just spend an evening today then he’ll always pick the same place.

He spends the first hour or so just playing in the water. Of course you’re more than welcome to join him in the water, but you could also just chill and watch him. He loves jumping into the sea, making a big plash and then coming out of the water and straight to you, giggling with his hair a complete mess.

And yes, sunscreen is VERY important. Your sweet boy is very sensitive to the sun and he completely forgets to put the sunscreen on himself. However he never complains when you call him over for more sunscreen, firstly because he’s a good boy but also because he would never complain about your hands on him.

Of course he always gets plenty of kisses to distract him until enough time has gone by that he can get back in the water.

Then, once he’s tired himself out then he simply must douse himself off with the water hose right in front of you. And yes, he does let his swim trunks fall dangerously low on his hips and yes he knows exactly what he’s doing. He knows his mommy’s eyes are on him and he wants to give a good show.

And yes he makes dinner himself. Honestly people who make fun of Charles cooking either haven’t experienced it or have only experienced it when he’s in a hurry. Because he does a great job for you.

Though that be because you’re the one who fucks him, yeah it’s probably that.

And the cuddles on the hammock after dinner and a requirement. You must do so. Charles literally got the hammock installed JUST for cuddles with you. He got one big enough for three people to ensure the two of you would fit comfortably and have the perfect cuddle space.

So he gets his cuddles and his kisses there. That’s where you start to work him up, praising him for the meal he made, thanking him for taking you out, calling him the sweetest prettiest sub you could ever ask for. He starts to get all wriggly in your arms, beginning to get turned on from all the touches and praise and kisses.

That’s when you send him off the bedroom to get changed into the clothes you’ve set out for him. He never knows what he’ll find there. You might have put a skirt out or lingerie or a full suit it something. Tonight it’s a full suit, because you want to undress him.

Riding his face while he’s still on the suit is incredible? You make him lay on his back so he doesn’t have anything to grind against, and you can see how hard he is in his fancy suit pants. His hips desperately on their own accord, trying to get some friction but he doesn’t ask for anything because he’s having the time of his life.

Even though he’s so desperate that there’s literally a wet spot of precum on his pants, he still doesn’t ask for more because he’s a good boy.

Then you have to undress him, treating him like you’re unwrapping the most fragile present and then you just have to tie him. You almost feel bad for edging him, but you desperately want to see him cry from pleasure.

And he does. Tears running down his cheeks as he’s begging you to let him cum. Of course you have to use your hand to actually make him cum, to hold him close and stroke his cock exactly how he likes until he’s crying out and spilling all over your hand.

Then he gets more cuddles on the hammock for a little while, feeling so happy and safe and warm and so so relaxed.

He gets cuddles for about an hour and then it’s time to head back to the dock. Charles drives the yacht and you hug him from behind. He’s fine being in control of that, as long as you hug him from behind the entire time and praise him once he’s docks the boat.

Then you’ll drive the two of you home, letting Charles keep his hand on your thigh for comfort and then he gets even more cuddles and praise.

It’s really just the perfect night.

#sub!charles #cl #nsfw.#f!reader #soft soft vibes #👕

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casualavocados · 1 year

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alright, here comes the long ass super personal and sentimental post absolutely nobody asked for (you’re welcome)

i watched episode 1 of bad buddy the day it aired (1 year ago today!) out of sheer luck. i dont even remember how i discovered it, but my initial thought was: “im bored. it’s 11pm and i dont want to go to sleep. this trailer looked fun. oh it came out today? sure what the fuck.” and i watched it in bed, on my phone. completely fucking unaware of what was about to happen to me and my life - and this honestly amuses me so much when i think about it because let me tell you...

i am NOT one to watch romance for romance’s sake. i really couldnt care less for it tbh. i’m not what i’d call a shipper at all (though i used to be, and if you remember my blog back then i owe you financial compensation bc tbh that whole spectacle exhausted me ANYWAY-).

romance is just something ive always preferred as a side dish to plot, bc i only tend to like it when it’s super well done, and ive never found any of it very realistic. this was actually pretty unfortunate for past me bc fun fact, i am a little bit of a hopeless romantic, and romcoms are my guilty pleasure. the problem is i also dont like any of them enough to care about them after ive satisfied my initial “i want to watch something cheesy and cute” urge. i’d seen a few other bl’s over the years but only bc i was bored or wanted to watch something gay, and none of them had ever stuck in my mind after i finished them. i actively avoided those fandom spaces so i definitely wasn’t keeping up with what was new.

(now listen, i have very specific thoughts on bl itself, but im not gonna get into that here (and actually miscellar said yesterday that the bl difference between 2020 and 2022 is unrecognizable and that basically sums it up so i dont have to lmao <3)).

- and ep1 of bad buddy is pretty typical bl! i adore this about it tbh because i was completely unprepared for everything the show was about to pull. my initial reaction was that it was something fun to look forward to every week.

so then-

I dont!! i dont even know how to explain it! ive tried too many times!

but it really is That Bitch, and truly feels like something i’d been waiting my whole life to see. a romantic comedy that was incredibly realistic in the sense of being overwhelmingly human, and also overwhelmingly queer. it’s so effortlessly fucking funny, while simultaneously a very (very very very) layered and emotional story. i will sing its praises to the end of time. it is quite literally the most well crafted show i’ve ever seen, and every time i rewatch it, or go back and reread old meta, im reminded that im not insane believing that. it just literally is that good. it’s such a simple story done so. extremely. well. it’s so ordinary, and that makes it extraordinary, and that was the intention from the start.

but i also have to say, one of the best things about having this show, is getting to be apart of the amazing community i found here loving it alongside me. bc i avoid fandoms. i stick to the places and the people/mutuals i know. i drift through edit tags more than i follow individual blogs. i block people like lightning. i have always had anons and replies off and i enjoy my privacy!!!

and i have talked to more people and made more friends and have had more fun this past year than i ever have before on this site.

it took me until after bb finished airing to start following people back, but by then i knew which blogs posted what and what i’d want to see more of on my dash - and there are still many many people im not following, or who arent following me, that i talk to! i love each of you so very much, and i want to do a couple special shoutouts, if thats okay. ♥️

SO, in no particular orderrrrrr:

@mrdumpling nuria you were the very first bl-centric blog to follow me, and as such gave me a little bit of a heart attack that day, because i knew you were a popular blog and i Was Not Ready For Attention lol. but im so glad you did! ik we don’t talk often, but i love lurking on your blog and following what you’re interested in, and most especially, sharing this show with you. to say your edits are beautiful is an understatement! i always love to see what you make!! 🧡

@actually-yikes SORA I MISS YOUUUUUU!!! 🌹 i love talking to you, i love bonding over warrior pran with you, i love the edits you make. i think you’re very funny and delightful. seriously. ...im kind of at a loss for words here bc you’re one of the blogs i went to the most while bb was airing, and the first person i followed after it ended. i really just think you’re wonderful, and idk how else to say it! ily!!!💕💕

@miscellar you have some of the best takes ive ever read, and you somehow seem to read my mind and write (in much better words than i ever could!) exactly what im feeling on so many different topics. i love reading your analysis, your criticism, and just in general whatever you have to say. you impress me very much tbh and im always a bit amazed whenever you talk to me. i love sharing meta with you! 💚

@pranparakul KATIIIEEE when you’re not on my dash i miss you. even if you’ve got posts in your queue ill be like 🥺 where’s katie? is she having a good day today? literally it doesnt matter what you post abt, bc your enthusiasm for whatever it is always makes me so happy. keep doing you <3♥️🌸💗💕💜🌸❣💗💜♥️💕

@snimeat GEI. okay we dont talk OFTEN but when we do we talk a LOT. your excitement is sooooooooooooo contagious and it always matches mine and i feel SO SEEN. i think your edits have such a mystical vibe to them...they always make me feel very wistful (in a very good way). luv u 💛

@pranpats Kit!!! your gifs are GORGEOUS. and you are one of the sweetest people on this site. you always say such lovely things in the tags, and i love occasionally coming to talk to you about gifmaking things. you are such a warm presence on my dash! 💜

and of COURSE @grapejuicegay - kk i think we speedran our friendship in the last 6 weeks. idk how we never really talked before, now that i know we were BOTH lurking on each other’s blogs this whole year. i don’t even know what to say that i haven’t already said in our dms. i fucking love talking to you. there are some people you just click with and im so glad you’re one of them. 💙💌💗💖💜💙💕💛♥️🌹💌💖💙💕

there are so many more of you i want to mention here!! and if you read this far please know im probably also thinking of you, and i want you all to know that i have loved every minute watching and sharing this show with you.

im constantly blown away by everyone’s kindness and how welcoming all of you are. this is truly my favorite place to be online. thank you for all the tags on my gifs and meta. thank you for being so warm.

im so happy this little show means as much to all of you as it does to me. happy one year everybody. 🎆🥂💚❤

#julian watches bb #long post #i SAID thered be emotional posts today and i MEANT IT #also huge shoutout to all my wonderful incredible and lovely mutuals and followers #who have stuck around while this show consumed my life #i love all of u i really do #and i love this show with my whole heart #its home to me <3

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instant-angel-chaos · 2 years

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knowing your partner well can potentially make writing a lot easier, repost, do not reblog.

NAME: Grim

PRONOUNS: she / her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Uhhh, i don't really mind? I mostly use tumblr; im constantly active on discord but i mostly use my discord only for streaming related purposes!

NAME OF MUSE(s): I have many! Many that i haven't written with on tumblr before, but the current active ones are: Dakota (demon), Chase (fallen angel/his human verse), Logan, Skyler, Alec, Faith, Ruth (demon/her human verse) The pinned post on the blog takes you to my muses page!

EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?) : uhh, i think i started writing on tumblr around 2015-2016? Before that i have experience with roleplaying for about 4 years? and before that i have years of experience with writing in general.

BEST EXPERIENCE: I met my best friend through tumblr! He passed away in 2016 but i will be forever grateful for getting to meet such an impactful, caring and amazing person through here. I miss him dearly. In present day i have met a few newer people i have absolutely adored writing and talking with; they've made me feel less lonely and restore/upkept my adoration for writing!

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS : Uhhhh,, probably following my blog, never interacting with me in person (through im's, rp memes etc) and then using me as an rp meme source/musings source. When it comes to writing, i prefer longer replies but don't mind shorter ones as long as there's enough to go on about - however, i get overwhelmed if i start feeling like it's entirely on my shoulders to move the story along. I get not wanting to godmod but it's really hard to write if the story feels like it's not going anywhere/there's little to no proper interaction between the characters because the other person 'doesn't want to do anything my muse wouldnt want' which results in the scenes dragging on and on and nothing happening and me having to write out any sort of progress by myself :c idk if this is just me,,, (im also entirely down to message while writing so you can ALWAYS message me and be like "is it ok if i do this" etc and i would very much prefer that over the alternative option!) I also really dont enjoy reading r*pe smut, especially untagged, and have people play it off as a kink.

MUSE PREFERENCES FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT : anything goes, honestly. I love it all. I would be entirely lying though if i didn't admit i adore writing smut,, I love plot with a side of smut, i love smut with a side of plot. Character chemistry and heated scenes are just right up my alley!

PLOTS OR MEMES: Either! I absolutely LOVE plotting in person and doing multiple threads, different AU's; EVERYTHING! But i also love it when i can send in memes to my mutuals/my mutuals respond to memes i've reblogged - a nice balance between the two is nice!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i do have a preference for longer replies; i like including a good amount of insight to my character's thoughts to be able to,, kind of flesh out the chemistry and relationship between our muses. But on top of that obviously there needs to be interaction to move the story along, so i gravitate towards having at least 3 paragraphs.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Uhmmm,,, who knows honestly? During the day, sometimes in the degen hours of the night.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): In a lot of ways; yes. But I do keep them as very much seperate characters from myself as I'd feel uncomfortable writing the type of stuff i do if i thought of the muses as "too much like me", yknow? Feel free to 'steal' this from me, and repost to your blog! I dont wanna tag people because i dont wanna annoy you, BUT if you're seeing this: just assume that i do want to see you posting this <3

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belovedmachine · 2 months

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(I do free weights mostly these days but the same applies for machines. I can also add info about at home workouts as well if you'd like. The principles are the same at their core, but it'll be a little different since a lot people dont have full gyms or a wide set of weights at home)

Easing in and misc information: start at a low weight and focus on form, 100%. You can still go up in weights its just form is important (a lot of the time if I'm feeling pain trying to do a lift its because my form was off). Do warm-up sets to warm up the muscles. So if you're doing 40 lbs on a machine instead of jumping right to that weight you'd use do a set of 30 then a set of 35 and then start doing your 40s. Pick a weight that challenges you but not to the point where you cant properly do the exercise or control your movement, for example using your whole body momentum to lift the weight or letting the machine slam back in place instead of gently releasing. To build muscle you have to have weights that are heavy enough to cause muscle damage that way the body heals the muscle and they heal stronger. So increasing weight is an important part of that muscle building. Of course once you get to a place you're happy with and don't care about gains and would rather maintain the muscle you have, you can do the opposite. Lift weights but put no particular effort into progressing your strength building.

As for recovery: eating, resting, and stretching.

Recovery Eating: you have to eat to support working out. it reduces the length of time youre sore and fuels the workout itself. it sounds like youre wanting to change body composition without losing weight which means youd want to gain then maintain muscle and lose body fat. it is possible for the body to start cannibalizing muscle during workouts if theres no where else to pull that energy from. protein is very also important since that is what the body uses to repair muscle.

Rest: don't do too much. meaning outside of your workouts don't also go training for a marathon or other strenuous activities. itll be counter productive; bodies can only take so much. a nice walk, yoga, or mobility work won't hurt so on off days those are no problem. it gives your body rest to build and repair on those days you dont workout. Sleep is important its when the body repairs and regrows tissue, muscle, etc.

Stretching: I don't have much to say, general mobility helps. A regular stretch routine will help, I do a simple 5 minute one before my workout and unless I'm feeling a little tight I rarely need to go longer. 5 Minute Daily Mobility Routine! | Follow Along | Full Body (youtube.com) This is the one I used a lot. On days off I find a yoga youtube video and do 15-30 mins.

Soreness I can't say how long is too long. But no workout should leave you so sore to the point that sitting down is be painful. You can look at soreness as the gap between the exercise and what you did to rebuild them in the hours and days afterwards in terms of getting proper amounts of water, food, and rest. If you set the right pace for yourself and do the necessary things for recovery there's really no time you should feel debilitatingly sore after a workout. On days where I may have pushed myself a little too hard on a previous workout I'll go on a walk or spend some time doing relaxed stretching on off days.

Recomposition I mentioned this at the beginning but what youre aiming for is recomp. So while you cant target specific fat building muscle will help overall. The reason is that muscle burns more calories at rest than fat does. Without getting too deep into it that means through the day you will burn more calories while just doing your normal day to day. which means the body is drawing on fat storage more throughout the day for that energy

Routine The best routine is one you can stick with. There were way too many times I made a 5 days a week routine that was me lifting in the gym, doing gymnastics things, and doing hour long yoga. It was unsustainable and after a point I stopped working out altogether. Now I'm at 3-4 times a week, I allow plenty of flexibility. meaning if I miss day 2 that's on Wednesday for whatever reason, it's fine I can do it Thursday then day 3 on Saturday and it'll be a week where I do 3 workouts and thats fine. Personally, I don't like spending a lot of time in the gym or working out lol. So unless I am doing more exercises than usual, it doesn't go over an hour and is normally about 45 minutes.

This is a quick and dirty run down. If you have any questions or want specific information or routine help or anything like that let me know and I'll help. And honestly if you don't find lifting weights fun there's so many activities that'll still help build muscle. I did pole dancing for 2 years and did very simple weights once a week. Right now I'm trying to find a rock climbing place because I need a break from lifting. hope this helps :)

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war-torn-and-collateral-damage · 2 years

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Okay, so updates

So results of the heart Monitor came back, on top of having POTS (which we already know) we learned that I also have Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia which means my heart beats faster than it should and when it goes up because it should (activity, sitting up, anxiety etc) it goes up way higher than it should and then stays up for too long and then my Autonomic Dysfunction kicks in and it's like yo heart whatcha doing stop that and then it goes from rapid 170 bmp to 40 bmp in a second which is why I pass out!!!! So on a heart med, supposed to increase water and sodium (something about how my body retains water) so ya.

Next, after all the hoops my doctor jumped through to get it scheduled, the feeding tube surgery is CANCELLED. Well kind of, postponed? He is wanting to reconsider at a later date after we do a crazy diet to check for multiple food intolerances/sensitivities which we can't do right now because we cant risk cutting the nutrition I am currently able to get as it is already not enough. So we already know I am lactose intolerant, he thinks I may also be fructose intolerant and have a non celiac gluten sensitivity.

My doctor as well as other specialists on my medical team are very much pushing for me to drop weight (I am overweight due to being bed ridden most of the time, plus the gastroparesis causes chronic constipation, Plus the fatigue, chronic pain, frequent subluxations and dislocations w activity etc) so now I am dieting and exercising.

The exercise I swear is literally going to kill me, I get pre syncope or actually pass out at the gym. Frequently. (so now I have to get a fucking Medical alert bracelet) but its kind of aweful cuz like I be passing out and can't breathe and my legs turn purple but I love working out!!!! I feel so happy and I enjoy pushing myself but then like I am down ALL DAY over it, its funny cuz with the autonomic dysfunction, the POTS and the IST they all cause an exercise intolerance but here are multiple medical professionals being like we know this isnt whats best for you BUT healthy is equated to thin in Modern Day society so get thin no matter how it harms you. (Obviously they dont actually say it like that to me. Thats me paraphrasing what they beat around the bush to say)

This has hardcore triggered my ED thoughts which of course I feel like I cant talk to my doctor about as he has told me if I ever relapsed symptomaticlly with my Anorexia we would have to find me another doctor because he cant handle that (he had alot of ana patients on his case load at one point and it almost caused him to leave medicine) and I was like no problem, sustained remission and weight restored for like 7 years and now here we are, according to my therapist EDs are really common in people with autism due to the hyperfixation and black and white thinking but I feel really guilty that I am struggling again so Im trying not to get to stuck on it and just like, I dont know, I dont wanna get sick like I was back then. Im sure my long time followers remember the hospitalizations, the many inpatient treatment stays and then the multiple feeding tubes, twas not a good time.

I finally got my adaptive shoes!!!!

They zip on so I don't have to tie them!!!!!!!!!! I can do it all by myself!!!!!!!! #SmallVictories (Notice the red legs? Autonomic Dysfunction + POTS = Lobster Limbs)

Anyways, if anyone wants to help me with wishlist items that'd be cool. It has my usual incontinence protection, some vitamins and nutrition supplements as since they opted not to do the tube I am back to square 1 with my malnourishment and failure to thrive and some other seemingly random health related items. Any help is appreciated, love you guys lots!!!

#mine #personal #incontinence #me #help #donations #POTS #inappropriate sinus tachycardia #postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome #eds #ehlers danlos syndrome #seizures #autism #disabled #disability #gastroparesis #gastric dysmotility #urinary incontinence

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kaz11283 · 3 years

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Of Course I'm Here

Characters: Come on you know by now how this goes (Loki x you) (Team x you, platonic)

Warnings: None. And really if you ever see anything that I might need to able as a warning please let me know... I'm the person who forgets there are people out there that get offened by the word F*** if that is an exapmle of anything.

Summary: Mid battle and the avengers keep looking for an answer as to why the God of Lies hasnt showed up yet. Of course you have no idea but at least he proves them all wrong.

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME: hey guys Im back, I know it hasnt been long but I also know I havent been posting every single day like I was, i got into a weird little funk where I didnt want to do anything, I was just feeling completly drained, and I felt bad because I have my little and I didnt even want to play with her because I have just been so TIRED, but I'm feeling better. Work has been kicking my ass here lately and ive been working over 50 hours a week so ive literally been coming in, eatting / feeding the little, getting us ready for bed, and crashing as soon as she falls asleep. But im here now. I will probably be more active on weekends than during the week because I have more time to spend working on stuff but I will be posting also during the week just not daily. At least until after state comes. Thank you so much for the reblogs, likes, comments, follows, and messages please keep them coming! If you would like to be tagged please ask or message, and requests are open. Love you guys so much! 💚💚💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

~~~~~

"Y/N, BACK UP I NEED BACK UP! EYES IN THE SKY!" Tony yelled from above, you and Clint stood back to back on a roof top shooting as many bad guys as you could. Clint took aim at another carrier, shooting at the engine causing the entire thing to blow up raining debris and hot metal around you.

"Damnit Clint! Farther away make sure they are farther away!" You yelled popping him on the head with an arrow before aiming it at the thing that was chasing Tony.

"Where is lover boy at? You.sent him the location right?" Nat asked into the com.

"Yes I sent him the location, no I dont know where hes at." You mocked.

"Did you send him the right location?" Sam asked.

"One time, one dam-"

"Language!" Steve chimed in causing everyone to groan. Gun shots where ringing all around you and you could here metal on metal paired with Hulk screams coming from another building over.

"Language." You mocked muting your com son that no one but Clint heard you. "I am a 26 year old woman, I think I'm old enough to cuss if I want." You drew back your bow and sent another arrow flying into another goon that had Nat trapped aginst a wall. She shot you a thumbs up before running off. You hit unmute on your com.

"Jesus, 26? Baby, you sure you don't need to be at a babysitter instead of on a building killing things?" He laughed.

"Dont worry Hawk, when we get done here I've already booked you a nice nursing home to be put into." You put your bow around you and stood on the edge of the building. "I need a better view." You looked round, the top of a taller building caught you eye. "There Hawk, we can cover a better radius from up there, get closer to the action."

"DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THE GODS ARE GOING TO BE HERE? WE NEED MORE HELP WERE GETTING TIRED AND OUT NUMBERED!" Tony came over the coms screaming.

"How do we get up there? Or do I even wanna know?" Hawk came to examin where you were talking about.

"Im jumping, you cant tell me that someone wont catch me." You shrug.

"GODS WHERE ARE TH- Y/N DONT YOU DARE JUMP!" Tony stopped and hovered right were you was standing.

"Then take us over there. We need higher ground, we cant cover everyone from down here." You crossed your arms.

"Where are the gods at y/n?" He asked again

"I. Dont. Know. Jesus you guys act like I'm suppose to be there keeper!" A simultaneous you are came from everone through the com causing you to roll your eyes. "Hes gonna be here I swear it! Now take me to the building or I jump. 1.....2....-" Tony grabbed you by the collar of your jacket and flew you to the building.

God these things were everywhere and you were starting to run out of arrows. After shooting another ship and causing it to blow you heard what was unmistakably pounding on the roof top door leading to where you currently was at.

"I have some univited guests about to join my party. Anyone available for some assistance?" You yanked out the two emerald green and silver daggars that your boyfriend had given you not long after you had started dating after throwing your bow around you.

"Buy some time kid, I'm on ground level right now but I can try to get up there as fast as possible." Bucky called over the com.

"Buy some time? Ok. I can do this. I work better from afar but a little hand to hand never hurt anyone, just easier to get stabbed this way." The first of the things busted through the door running straight at you. You jerked out of the way missing his staff by just a few inches. Quickly turning you flipped the dagger like Loki had showed you and stabbed him in his side causing him to fall to the ground before the next one tried to impale you.

"I have two daggers and they have freaking staffs! Back up! WHERE THE HELL AR-" you were interupted by static in the air and a bright light. The bitfrost had just opened up leaving to gods standing in front of you and taking out the remainder ofnthe bad guys. "HES HERE! I TOLD YOU GUYS THEY WERE COMING AND THEY'RE HERE." You pulled two extra coms from you pocket and gave them to Thor and Loki.

"Always a pleasure to battle beside you Lady y/n." Thor smiled takkng the com and putting it in his ear before taking off again.

Loki sauntered over to you and put his arm around you waist, you put the com in his ear as he rolled his eyes. He leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

"You got a new outfit." You smiled at him. God the way he looked in his battle clothe always did something to you, the horned helment was a plus.

"You like it." He smirked down at you pulling you closer.

"Your wearing your horns to." You reached up and brushed a peice if hair behind his ear.

"STOP. STOP NOW. WE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING AND ITS GROSS." Tony yelled causing you both to roll your eyes.

"Quick run down, bad guys everywhere, no end in sight, and I'm out of arrows pretty sure Hawk is too." Loki waved his hand over your quiver making more arrows appear.

"I see you had to use your daggers. I am sorry for not being here. Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked stepping away from you to examin you.

"Small cut on the side, nothing I havent dealt with before, Ill be fine. You go make sure Hawk is fully stocked up and help the others. I got a birds eye view of you right here." I leaned in kissing him one more time before smiling at him and pushing him away. He kissed his two finger before placimg them over his heart and you did the same, "always." You both said before he disappered.

You could hear Thor laughing at the chaos going on and Steve trying to direct the god of thunder on what to do. You had learned earlier to just let him do his own thing and he would be fine. Tony was still trying to micromanage everything when you heard Loki mumble something in an old language and his com cut out. You had figured it wouldnt have stayed on to long though but at least you had tried. It had calmed down up on your end so you decided to finally go back down to where Clint was at shooting an arrow with heavy duty rope you glided back down next to him to watch what was going on.

"Hello, earth to y/n." He snapped his fingers in front of your face. You had been to busy staring at Loki and that damn helmet. "I dont even understand why were friends." He rolled his eyes propping up on the ledge watching as the rest of the team secured the last of the bad guys.

"Because we both shoot arrows, because we are both the best in the team, or because we both know we are the best looking one on the team so we have to stick together." You laughed jumping up so you could sit on the ledge.

"The birds can come out of their nest now." Bucky called over the coms causing you both to sigh.

When you and Clint had reached the bottom you walked over to Thor theowing your arms around the big goof ball.

"You are amazing during battle as always." He beemed patting you on the shoulder.

"As always? Thor youve only fought with her twice." Steve said beside you.

"I had a week off. Went to Asguard, spent time with the boys. Someone had to keep them in line." You shrugged like it was no big deal.

"She was amazing!" Thor went on telling the story of the fight you had all gotten into.

"Mothers been asking about you by the way dear. Wants to know if you've decided to come stay for a while." Loki leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I think I'm leaning toward a yes. I can't stand being away from you, you had been gone forever this time." You reached for his hand as you both walked to the quinjet.

"I was making arrangements to have our room redone. I figured you would come with me." He gave you a knowing smirk as he reached up to take off his helmet.

"Leave the horns on. I have a suprise for you when we get home." You pulled his hand away from his head and smacked his butt.

"You are a little minx." He laughed chasing you into the jet while the rest of the team groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Even if you wasnt moving i would be kicking your ass out! I am so sick of the PDA between you two." Tony hollared after you.

"Leave them alone Tony, they are courting. Im just glad my brother is happy and not trying to stab me." Thor clapped Tony on the back.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

#loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki #loki avengers #loki daily #loki fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki x reader #loki fluff #loki x y/n #lokilaufeyson #loki one shot #loki (marvel)#loki imagine #loki masterlist #loki and thor

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robininthelabyrinth · 4 years

Note

i dont know what would cause this, but how about an au where the outcomes of the wen attacks on lotus pier and the cloud recesses are reversed? the jiang have some losses and more injuries, perhaps their sect leader is in hiding, but the twin jades of lan have lost everything

Wei Wuxian had stopped smiling.

It wasn’t that Lan Wangji didn’t understand why the cheerful disciple who never remembered pain that he had known at the Cloud Recesses was gone. The stories had reached even Gusu: Yunmeng’s Lotus Pier had been attacked, its defense breached, its buildings burned. They said the sect leader and his lady wife were both dead or in comas, lingering briefly before death; they said that the sect heir had disappeared with the sect’s treasures.

They said Wei Wuxian had tried to defend his home, and that they’d broken his leg for it.

Despite that, he was here – by choice, even, since he wasn’t officially a direct disciple of a clan. He didn’t count.

Jiang Yanli counted.

She was quiet and reserved, her manners excellent and her temperament calm; she was polite to everyone even as they distanced themselves from her as if she carried the plague. No one wanted to anger the Wens by showing favor to a sect they’d already shown themselves inclined against.

Wei Wuxian stalked her heels, weight heavier on one leg than the other, pain creasing his face into a constant scowl. He never let her leave his sight, not even for a moment; it was as if he had turned into a snarling dog, suspicious of everyone.

Lan Wangji missed the brightly smiling boy that had so occupied his thoughts.

Things were hard at the indoctrination camp. As Lan Wangji’s uncle had gloomily forecast, the Wens did not care about their hostages; they took their swords away and forced them to do work, often for many hours, as if they were simple laborers.

When the rations began to be reduced, the quality turning from merely mediocre to actively rotten, Jiang Yanli quietly offered that she could make soup if enough people turned their rations over to her.

Wei Wuxian turned his over at once, of course; there had never been any question about that. From everyone else, there was silence: they’d all practiced inedia, of course, but that couldn’t be done for too long – and what if someone took what little they had?

Lan Wangji walked over and offered up his plate.

Jiang Yanli smiled at him. “Thank you, Lan-er-gongzi. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

He nodded silently. It wasn’t her smile he’d hoped to see.

“ – you can have mine, too,” another voice said, and Lan Wangji turned his head in surprise: it was Jin Zixuan, holding out his place. “I like soup better.”

His tone is defensive, almost as if he were afraid of being called out for his kindness.

Jiang Yanli’s smile spread, softening, and Lan Wangji hadn’t realized how formulaic the one aimed at him had been until he saw the real thing. “I’ll make sure it’s good, Jin-gongzi.”

He huffed and sat down some distance away, not looking at her.

Lan Wangji looked at Wei Wuxian, hunched over and staring at his hands, from the corner of his eyes and felt a sudden, unexpected stab of sympathy for Jin Zixuan. Perhaps it would be more accurate to describe it as a feeling of fellowship: they were in the same boat, it seemed.

The soup ended up being more delicious than Lan Wangji had expected – significantly so.

Even Jin Zixuan looked impressed. “You made this out of those ingredients?” he asked Jiang Yanli. “How?”

She smiled. “Do you have an interest in cooking, Jin-gongzi?”

He wrinkled his nose, that old Jin arrogance coming back in a sudden rush, and Lan Wangji could see, clear as crystal, the mistake he was about to make. Out of pity, he decided to intervene.

“I am interested,” he said, and Jiang Yanli turned her head to him with surprise in her eyes – not surprise at the professed interest, but surprise that suggested she’d entirely forgotten he was even there.

“I am, too!” Jin Zixuan put in at once. “I’ve always been curious as to what happens in the kitchens, but I’ve never been allowed to go too close.”

An obvious lie, particularly when it came to his professed interest in cooking, but Lan Wangji’s work was done. He listened to Jiang Yanli’s explanation of how she’d done it and slipped away when she offered to walk Jin Zixuan through the steps of how it was done the next evening, if he was interested.

He wasn’t expecting Wei Wuxian to follow him into the woods near their camp.

He reached a clearing, then turned to look at him.

“You’re a better choice than him, Lan-er-gongzi,” Wei Wuxian said. He looked tired. “But she likes him for whatever stupid reason. So don’t – don’t get your hopes up. You’re not going to get her attention.”

“I didn’t do it for that,” Lan Wangji said.

Wei Wuxian looked surprised. “Then why…?”

Lan Wangji shrugged.

Wei Wuxian came over to him and nudged his shoulder with his own. “Come on, Lan Zhan –”

It was Lan Zhan, still, despite everything, and Lan Wangji had never been happier to hear his own given name.

“– you can tell me. You’re not interested in how to cook pork bone soup – you Gusu people eat only vegetables whenever you can, don’t think I didn’t notice. If you didn’t do it to get shijie’s attention, why did you do it?”

He went on in this vein for a while, pestering, and eventually Lan Wangji gave in and explained.

“He needed the help.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him. A moment later, he laughed – unwillingly, the initial huff of laughter growing into a giggle, a snort, and finally succumbing to a full-bellied laugh.

“You’re right!” he exclaimed. “He does, oh, he really does, doesn’t he? He’s awful at this. The only thing that made him make a move at all was because he was drinking vinegar – oh, this is fantastic! You have to keep this up for a few days – at this rate, we’ll have them married by spring! I’ll owe you for this one, Lan Zhan; you ever need anything, you just ask me, okay?”

Lan Wangji looked at how Wei Wuxian was finally smiling again, and felt he’d done a good thing.

“Think nothing of it,” he said.

“I’m serious!” Wei Wuxian insisted. “We’re partners in crime now! If you ever need anything, anything, you come to me first. You hear me? Me first.”

Lan Wangji hummed lightly in agreement, thinking nothing of a light-hearted promise made under the moonlight. He did not expect he would ever think of it again, except perhaps in his dreams; he did not expect he would ever actually take Wei Wuxian up on his offer.

But when the Cloud Recesses burned and he had fled into the night, leaving his father’s corpse behind and carrying his brother’s broken body on his back –

He went to Yunmeng.

#mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #jiang yanli #jin zixuan #do they have a ship name?#my fic #my fics #Anonymous

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zuffer-weird-girl · 4 years

Text

Soulmate Au

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can he handle it?

Dabi's point of view

Reader's view.

He grew up hearing that soulmates were a waste. Not everyone got together with the suppose love of your life, he was warned of that before his father discovered that... his quirk was almost perfect, almost... after this, he had to deal until the day he escaped from home a abusive and toxic family...

Reaching his 18 years old he was living on shelters and streets, during these times due to fighting for his own survival, his scars had marked half of his face and almost all of his body... damn the universe for giving him such a self destructive quirk...

During these times, he also saw many of people getting scared at the sudden appearance of the said chibis or carrying the little things around with eachother... their love was real? Could he really believe that?

His mother always encourage him and his younger sibling thhat they were getting their soulmates despite his father's harsh words.... But how coul someone like him have a soulmate? It was better this way... alone. He was better off alone and with no one with him.

Now, being part of the league of the villain came the said topic about chibis which always leaved him a little pissed off. Toga was rambling about that green haired kid from the USJ again, and he was so tired and annoyed that he got off from the couch and went to his quarters, merely flipping Spinner and Compress off when they asked him where he was going.

Closing the door, he let himself drop on what was suppose to be his bed with a sigh before he heard a sound. He tried to ignore it, but the constant squeaking was getting him crazy...

"Wanna play cat and mouse fucking rat? Let's make a barbecue then." He lighten his hand on fire before getting up with a gruff and looking at the corner of his small room to see a little person there, looking up at him.

"The hell?" He muttered as he tried to burn the thing but they squeaked and ran off to jump on his bed.

Looking at them with boredoom, he sighed and tried to aproach again, no more with his quirk activated in a attempt to not scare the poor thing again... Narrowing his eyes at its it only blinked at him before opening a open smile... Letting him know how much he was fucked and how those mom's stories were indeed true...

There in front of him was his chibi.

Despite trying to hidding it from everyone in the league, eventually they spotted him trying to get away from the chibi whose was trailing behind him. A sense of anger and jealousy burned inside him as Twice and Spinner talked and tried to at least poke at the chibi's cheeks, whose always squeaked in protest and ran towards him.

"Dammit Dabi! Your chibi is really clingy!" Spinner whined as Dabi only stared nonchantly at the chibi on his ankle.

"You can have it." He mumbled in annoyance before he walked out with the damn chibi on him.

The chibi suddenly squeaked and ran after something before coming back with a note of money... He hadn't notice it before and coincidentally he had complained to himself a bit yesterday that he was out of money... and there it was his chibi always glued to him with a smile offering it to him.

"Thanks.." he said with a smirk while kneeling down and grabbing as he widened his eyes at the kiss they blew at him... "Oh fucking god you're cute." He muttered whiel trying not to chuckle at it.

Weeks had passed and he tried to find his soulmate even on the day time as he walked with his chibi chilling on his shoulder... yet all in vain. It had been almost months already yet he hadn't found the actual version of doll.

"Neee Dabi???" Toga cooed behind him as he toon another gulp of his drink with his chibi swinging their legs up and down on his shoulder "Let me see that chibi of yours real quickly?"

"You psyco dont touch my doll." He muttered nonchantly as he finsihed his alcohol as Toga squealed.

"awww you call it doll! That's even cuter-" in one quick montion she snatched the chibi on his shoulder and aimed the knife to their little throat "I'm just curious about how it looks their blood after all!"

"Give them back right now you brat-" Dabi grunted while standing up before Shigaraki appeared out of no where and holded the chibi by their arm as they emmited a sound of pain.

"Such a bothering little thing. Tell me again why you're keeping this?" He showed the chibi with more emphasis as flames surrounded the indigo haired man's shoulders, arms and hands.

"Give. Them. Back." He growled the worlds as shigaraki only looked at Kurogiri before sighing at the way the golden orbs squinted abjt before throwing the chibi at Dabi.

"If you like playing with dolls whatever, as long as it doesn't bother us anymore." Dabi scowled at his boss before walking quickly to his room and placing the chibi carefully down.

"Fucking hell.. does it hurt?" The chibi only looked up at him with teary eyes but shocked their head while waving the arm.

"But does it hurt my soulmate?" He asked and felt a pain of guilt surround him as the chibi nodded sadly and hugged his scarred hand when he seemed down.

"... well." He smirked while cupping the chibi and already putting on his disguise "At least now I will finally know my real dollface." The chibi squeaked in glee before jumping out of his hand and grabbing his sunglasses and offering to him.

He walked carefully on the street and occasionally scoffed at some heroes doing patrols on the day light. The chibi grabbed on his ear suddenly and squeaked loudly as he groaned.

"What now?" He grunted while rubbing hjs now sore ear as the chibi squeaked more and more before he blinked and cursed out loud when they simply jumped away from him and ran towards teb entrance of the hospital.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit-!" Just about when he went to call out for them, he accidentally bumped into someone, somehow hard enough to make both of him and the other person to fall straight to the floor.

He went to curse them out before he gasped at seeing his vision clear, he was without his sunglasses and went immediately to take them before he felt another warm touch on his hand to make joist of electricity roll over all his body from hand to head and toe.

The first thing he notice when he looked up was his own little shit of a chibi hugging a squirt version of himself... then he saw his soulmate... By God, no offense to the chibi version... hit you were way more prettier and beautiful than them.

He wished the moment could have last longer before he noticed a few people staring as he cursed under his breath, ignoring your attempts to apologize as he spoke:

"Here." He offered his hand to help you up, lifting your body up and trying not to wince and furrow his eyebrows at seing that you had actually an injury arm because of him not protecting your chibi enough "We wouldn't want any other person to see us."

"I-I sure." You nodded following him to a more secluded place, your chibis trailing after you both.

On a dark alley, he prepared himself mentally to show you his face... surely you weren't idiot enough to not know who he was and what he did... and he surely wasn't the best candidate to be someone's else soulmate... after all, he was a broken soul... not enough to anyone.

"You arent dumb. You know already who I am and what do I look like-" he turned to you, shoving his hood down to show you his face "Right? Dollface?"

He expected everything... you to flinch, scream or cringe at his appearance. Despite you seing how he was as a chibi, he knew that the real deal was horrible... yet, he felt your soft and gentle hands cup his face as while he could see the sincerity and love behind those beautiful (E/c) orbs.

"You're the most beautiful man I ever saw... You know how much I've been waiting to see you?"

Those words made him smile... right there, on the middle of alley that could hide you both, chibis on the ground staring up at you two... he knew. He knew that the person he was holding their wrist and looking lovingly at them...

Was his soulmate.

#bnha #bnha villains #imagine dabi x reader #dabi imagine #dabi scenarios #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #bnha au #dabi #zuffer writings

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carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 4 years

Note

He did? Umm.. what happened exactly?

(referring to this post)

my 11th grade chemistry teacher had an associates degree in liberal arts.

you know how in virtually every class you’ve ever had since middle school, your teachers made a big stink about the syllabus? she didn’t have one. this was her first teaching job, which she got because of her length experience as a substitute, not by her licensing qualifications. we were, at first, excited to have her, because she was a “fun sub” and we were 17 years old and stupid as all shit. we were the “normal chem” class in a system where the only other options were “honors chem” which was filled with children who actually know how to study (or cheat) and have an air of proper student activity, and “AP Chem”, which is clear enough if you’ve been an american student in the last 15 years.

she followed the mcgraw hill chemistry book in order of chapters, despite the fact that our state standardized tests did several of the chapters out of order. ever notice how you’ll suddenly be looking at chapter 11 when just last week you were on chapter 5, then the next week you’re on chapter 8? standardized testing is the reason. anyways by asking my friends in other classes who had chemistry teachers of relative competence, i was able to discern which chapters i should focus on, and while she was distracted with literally watching youtube videos all period, I was turning around in my seat and walking across the classroom helping my friends and enemies with the packets. (she was a two-packets-a-week kinda teacher.)

yes i said enemies too. the people i hated, i hated because they were sons of bitches i wouldnt piss on to put out a fire. i hated them so dearly i used to pray to god that they would bump into me so i could throw myself into the concrete and split my forehead open and get them expelled due to the blood-clause of our “zero-tolerance policy”. two of the kids in my class had, only the previous year, attempted to set my hair on fire.

i hated the teacher more.

it gave me extreme pleasure to see her fume and clench her fists when a student would say “i need help” across the classroom and she would move to get up and they would say “oh not you miss, im waiting for vicky.” jesus christ the only time ive ever felt a comparable high was when i was at a halloween party in college where i was literally so zooted i couldn’t move.

it got worse over time, her getting more and more angry, my ego growing larger and larger. i was a huge bitch in high school, i really thought i was the smartest bitch in the room at any given moment. severe main character syndrome. imagine that kind of person actually being right for 45 minutes out of every day. can you even comprehend the kind of frustration that would create? in a room full of little sociopaths who dont give a shit about anything but getting this joke of a class over with so they can graduate? your first real teaching job and they look right past you, the teacher, to this annoying little shit whose grades are completely abysmal? how are they managing to learn anything from a child who can barely speak in front of more than 10 people? who turns cherry red in the face of literally every authority figure in the building except you? who can’t concentrate and stay still in one spot for more than five minutes? all of your other classes behave! they listen! they sit down and shut up and do the packets! so what fucking gives!!!

so you say “fine, since you all HATE ME so much i just won’t teach then!!!” on literally week fucking ten of teaching. and instead of prostrating themselves before you, begging you to like... point at transparencies and read directly from powerpoints i guess.

and they all collectively say “okay” and let the chipmunk child flutter between desks and help them memorize formulas and mnemonic devices and shit. surely her grades will suffer if she’s constantly dealing with other people and you’ll have justification that her horseshit is “distracting” and “a detriment to her studies”. she got bored gave up on that after two days after nothing changed.

then we did the midterm.

except at the end of the exam packet was something we never learned because again, she was going through the book chronologically. because i actually enjoyed the chem book (so much that i stole it when the year was up lmao), i knew the material.

it was about lewis dots/structures. i couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it today but in december 2010 i absolutely knew that shit. i didnt have too much of a problem with it in the exam, but the students who had gotten to that point were complaining and at first she pulled that “you should have been studying independently uwu” shit but the class was about to get loud during exam period so she shushed us and said that when we get to that point, just stop, and she’ll mark it correct during grading, no harm no foul just keep it quiet. one of the more confrontational students called horseshit and said theres no way we’re trusting that and there’s definitely no way anyone will keep an entire classroom cheating at the instruction of the teacher quiet.

i offered to teach it.

she scoffed, rolled eyes, said “sure fine but you can’t get your exam back” and i said “okay.” so when everyone was to the point in the exam, we piled them all on her desk and i used the whiteboard to briefly and quietly explain lewis dots, used the book examples and problems, and helped the other kids understand. there were a couple exam questions that were lifted straight from the book problems so i skipped those. while teaching i realized i had gotten a couple wrong which sucked :( it was an incredibly stupid experience overall, and no teacher worth the paper their certification is printed on would have allowed that to happen. and fucking yet.

anyways everyone but me got their exams back and finished it and many of us passed, only a few of them did particularly well.

discussing the chem exam with friends who also took the chem exam, many students found their anecdote about the lewis dots to be confounding, for you see, the exam we took was not, in fact, the midterm, but the god damned final.

she had us taking the fucking final because she didnt read the fucking folders which read “midterm” and “final exam” on them

she was reprimanded severely and we all had to take the exam on different days, in different classrooms, sitting very far apart. after that she hated me even more. like girl it was your fault lmao i am literally a teenager grow up lol. anyways you can imagine how much more fucking insufferable i became, knowing how miserable she was.

it all came to a head in february when some students were giggling quietly following a minor fuck up on her part regarding bellwork. they were making fun of her like “are you sure thats not tomorrows bellwork lol” and a friend next to me did the “hey i need help wait no miss not you sorry” thing and when i answered him, she solidly snapped. blah blah YOURE SOOOO DISTRACTING blah blah YOU THINK YOURE SOOOO SMART DONT YOU blah blah blah and she was like demanding i leave the room and shouting at the top of her lungs at me “ YOU POISON THE MINDS OF EVERY OTHER STUDENT HERE. YOU’RE POISONOUS VICTORIA, YOU’RE A VIRUS IN THIS CLASSROOM.”

i will never forget that line as long as i live. it was like crack to me. i moved to open the door to leave and the vp opened it first. he escorted me to the office and asked me what happened, then told me to keep my head down in class from now on, and that if i wanted to help my friends i should give them my number and help them out on our own time. i was like “bro thats really stupid” and he was like “thats all we can do right now but i promise we’re working on it”

i lasted the rest of the year giving smug smiles as we did packet after fucking packet for the rest of the year. they were all take-home work. i wasnt comfy giving my number to my enemies. the class camaraderie ended.

the final was altered. my class took a different final than the rest of the normal chem classes.

i started 12th grade and got a solid case of senioritis. i told that story to anyone who would listen. while it was happening, i obviously told my favorite teacher everything as it happened. when i mentioned it senior year he was like “oh yeah i forgot about her,

she was fired over the summer.”

#let me tell you bitch i SCREAMED......#anyways im not sorry this was long #its literally the only cool thing thats ever happened to or about me so shrugs #Anonymous

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witchvspatriarchy · 4 years

Text

Goo Hara's story is one of the most tragic and rough in kpop history. And in light of the recent events, I'd like to share it.

It's pretty possible that most of you (ppl who weren't around for 2nd generation prime) dont know Goo Hara or her legendary group KARA. The group was among the top three girl groups nation wise, and number one in Japan.

But when KARA debuted it wasn't very popular, so when one member left, the company saw the opportunity to revamp the group and they added two new members. One of those was Goo Hara. She was introduced as main dancer and visual.

Hara's integration helped the group. Her innocent beauty in contrast to an effortless sex appeal caused men and women, children and adults, to fall in love with the idol, and this new fandom catapulted the group. Even though before debut she already had many fans, she already had antis too. A big portion of the original fandom rejected the integration of Hara. So from day one Hara had a strong individual fandom, but the group's fandom hated her.

Hara became the it girl of the moment, getting all the commercial contracts - this generated animosity from the fandom that questioned why she was the only one who was given the opportunities and why she did not participate in the commercial activities of the group. This did not weigh much on Hara at first, since she was somewhat accustomed to hate for no reason - in high school she was the victim of such extreme bullying that she had to change schools several times. She had the general public in her palms, so a portion of the fandom hating her was manageable.

But the love and support from the general public didn't last long, as netizens searched the internet to find something to destroy her and succeeded. They found Hara's teenage blog from before she was and idol, and in it they found photos of her in a hostel on her 17th birthday with her boyfriend at the time. They published them saying that Hara had had a romantic stay at the hostel and therefore she had sex while being a minor. And although the company denied it and Hara's friends said it had been a group trip, the netizens sought witnesses to support their accusations and thus began the gossip that Hara was promiscuous. This accusations gained notoriety when her relationship with Junhyun of B2ST became public. And so netizens invented her love affairs with many idols.

The situation reached a climax in Radio Star, when the MC asked KARA what topic they didn't want to talk about, to which Hara replied "dating." The three MCs started joking with Hara's promiscuity in a rather heavy way. And although it is well known that this type of image is harmful to an idol (mostly female idols) the MCs continued with the jokes. Hara tried to laugh it off but it was a comment from Kyuhyun that made her crack, being the gossip expert on the show, he said "if I said what I know, her career would be over." It was then that Hara threw him a bottle of juice playfully and then broke into tears. Hara was accused of being violent, unprofessional and disrespectful by netizens. And when one of the MCs came out in her defense and apologized for what they had done, the netizens said that "Hara's tantrums had forced him to apologize" and they hated her more.

Shortly after this, KARA disintegrated. But despite everything, Hara made a fortune as a commercial model. And there is nothing that netizens hate more than a successful, independent and wealthy woman. Especially if she achieves so despite public hate. And even more, if this successful, independent and wealthy woman is best friends with another successful, independent and wealthy woman (Sulli) that netizens also tried to destroy. And so, Goo Hara moved on with her life, even though the hate never stopped.

On September 4, 2018, Goo Hara (who is 1.64 and is so thin that she has been accused of being anorexic) was accused of beating her boyfriend. For the following week there were no signs of Hara, while the boyfriend appeared in the media several times a day giving interviews about it, and saying that she had gone crazy when he tried to end the relationship. He said he wasn't going to go public at first but when he got home he realized she had "disfigured" him and his face "is a big part of how he makes a living" (he's a hairdresser) so he decided to let everyone know the type of person she is. At some point the guy gave an interview in a hospital gown and connected to serum, despite having given interviews without these things several days before, and the hospital records shows he only had scratches. But despite being suspicious, the netizens did not need more, and cited what happened on radio star, her promiscuity and her friendship with Sulli as evidence of her violence and imbalance, and demanded jail time for Hara.

Time after that, Hara finally appeared on the media, which she had not done because she had been hospitalized due to the beating that the boyfriend (the alleged victim) gave her. Attack that damaged her internal organs to the degree of causing severe bleeding. Incidentally, there was damage to her intimate organs, so a rape is suspected, although it was never confirmed as such. And although Hara presented evidence and a witness, the netizens did not believe her, they said that she paid the witness and that, because she was promiscuous, her word had no worth. It was then that Dispatch revealed that the boyfriend had offered them the premise of the matter, then screenshots of the guy blackmailing Hara with an intimate video that he filmed against her will came to light. Just then the netizens decided to listen to her. The witness (Hara's roomie) came out to give her version of the facts: the guy had entered without permission with the access code and had woken Hara by kicking the bed. The witness and the messages proved that Hara had broke up with him and he wanted to blackmail her with the intimate video and threatened to end her career, Hara tried to take the video, and the guy beat her up. After that, he destroyed averything and anything he could find at the apartment, while Hara begged him not to publish the video. In the week that Hara was hospitalized the guy sent her threats and fragments of the video as blackmail.

For a while Hara had the empathy of the netizens, but the case was never resolved judicially, and the public eventually forgot what happened and attacked Hara again. This year Hara uploaded a photo to her social media for the first time, thanking the support she received in those difficult moments. And the netizens accused her of attention seeking, they said that if she was really hurt she shouldn't be on social media after what happened, and accused her of being unaware of the damage she caused her ex - who could no longer show his face in public. Soon she went to Japan to fulfill previous contracts and they accused her of fleeing, of indifference and said that what had happened hadn't been so serious if she was already working and she had made a big drama for nothing. Meanwhile the ex is active in social media and opened a new beauty salon, which was very successful. And as if that were not enough, the ex-boyfriend, Junghyun (B2ST) ended up entangled in the Seungri/Rising Sun scandal. And although it has been said that he was not an active participant beyond commenting on the videos that JJY sent, the netizens insisted that there were videos and intimate photos of Hara in the infamous chats.

After this, Hara uploaded a picture and netizens accused her of getting plastic surgery. Hara said that she had eyelid surgery for medical reasons and asked people to stop attacking her, but the netizens ignored and attacked her for the surgery.

May 25th 2019, Hara was found unconscious in her apartment. It was said it had been a suicide attempt. This incident, unlike others in the world of kpop, did not have a wave of positive and empathetic comments wishing her recovery, but the comments were insults, offenses and ridicule towards Hara. They even reproached her for her lack of success in committing suicide, accused her of faking it, said that the news were false to get attention and attacked her more than ever.

Soon after that Hara los her best friend.

This news were devastating but they were not a surprise, at least to me. I made a post about Sulli's passing asking people to support Hara, because I knew that she would be next. She had already tried. And she got hate for not succeeding.

A lot of the kpop fandom now wasn't around for most of the second generation mess. We had idols poisoned, attacked, and destroyed by netizens. There still are many idols victims of slave contracts and abuse but back then you saw the proof of those things regularly. With idols passing out and stuff.

Korea, specifically its treatment of celebrities is crap. Its inhuman. As international fans we should spread love for idols. And ask the companies to care for them, we should watch for their best interests as humans. What Hyuna and Edawn are doing, going on variety shows and doing photoshoots together as a couple is huge. What Mamamoo has been doing is huge. What Holland is doing is huge. Please support the idols who are actively fighting to change Koreas celebrity culture. ITS IMPORTANT.

And its important to know the stories of idols like Hara, Hangeng, T-ARA... because this idols were victims and where given nothing but hate. Hate that ended their careers or in Hara and Sulli's case, their lives. Hate kills. Haters kill. Not allowing people to live a plenty life, kills. Not allowing people to make mistakes, kills. I hope you read Hara's story and pay attention to female idols with a bad reputation, they're vulnerable in so many ways. And I hope that, in the future, when an idol survives a suicide attempt y'all wont ignore it like you did Hara.

REST IN PEACE🙏💔💔🙏

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