#religious recovery

[the-jesus-pill]

Teaching children thinking bad thoughts about someone is the same thing as murdering that person is fucked up. 

Thought crime doesn’t exist. No one has ever been harmed or killed by someone thinking negative thoughts about them. 

You know what has harmed people though? Teaching them they are evil for things they can’t control. Especially those who have intrusive thoughts. 

Here’s for everyone who has been taught their thoughts make them evil.

Intrusive thoughts are not your secret desires. 

They are involuntary. 

You don’t need to be ashamed of them. 

They will pass.

You are not committing taboo. 

No one can read your mind.

No one will ever know what’s in your thoughts unless you feel like telling them.

No one can judge you for what you are thinking, whether voluntarily or involuntarily.

Your thoughts are private

You are not a bad person.

#religious recovery #reminders #i was randomly reminded of being taught that thoughts are harmful in sunday school #intrusive thoughts #ex religious #deconstruction #exvangelical #apostate #deconverted #deconversion #exmo #exjw #exmormon #ex fundie #thought crime

[sailorrose19]

Do you ever look at your calendar and see that February 22nd the day after Mardi Gras is marked as Ash Wednesday, I already did. Countless times to be honest.

If you're eager for the start of Lent then good for you or if not then that is okay as well just make sure to take care of yourself.

If you're in the religiously abused category and see Lent and the whole idea of fasting, giving alms, praying and giving something up for 40 days as a big trigger like I do then let me be the one to help (if that is okay with you)

If you're ex Catholic and no longer identify or associate yourself with Christianity like I am especially after making my faith renunciation loud and clear but are still stuck in a strict religious environment where the family is still stuck in a stage of denial that their child young or grown is no longer in the faith and attempting to reconvert and "bring back to the flock" unaware that their futile attempts will only push the child away instead genuinely accepting things as they are then you came to the right post.

This time of the year can be difficult for all of us and some of us don't have the capability to fast or abstain for 40 days since we need food and drinks to keep up our strength in the physical and mental sense especially in the physical side due to health conditions that make it impossible to do so and Christianity does not see that unfortunately and some don't even have the right to make the choice of not doing Lent at all.

Very unfair if you ask me. So very unfair. I devised a list for Anti-lent to use and feel free to reblog and add your own to the list

Instead of giving something up why not indulge in it. It could be food, a new drink you wanna try but the church says "No way, you're practicing abstinence whether you like it or not!" screw that and do the opposite.

Pick up a new skill. It could be writing, reading that is not biblical scripture, trying a new cooking recipe in the kitchen(please be careful if you do so. No one likes coming home to a kitchen set on fire.)

Question Church teaching and the rules. This may seem like a very hard one and heavily discouraged in Catholicism. I've done a lot of questioning as a child and there were a lot of rules that never sat well with me at all. Blind faith and blind obedience is not a good look on anyone

On Fridays, instead of not eating meat or going to a fish fry, eat meat anyways you need the protein(unless you're vegetarian or a vegan there are other means of getting protien). Treat yourself to hamburger, steak, any meat will do. The same applies for Good Friday instead of one meal have your 3 square meals of the day.

Practice self-care. This one, is a super important one! If some priest in his sermon says to give self-care for lent don't listen and do the opposite instead. Cut your hair, go for a mani-pedi, try a new fragrance, take an extra long bath or shower, meditate, do what makes you happy this goes with the indulgence portion.

Instead of giving alms, use that tithing money on yourself or donate to a more worthy cause because the church does not deserve even a single cent from either of us no matter how much they try to guilt you into dropping your hard earned money in the offering basket. If you have a paycheck splurge some but save a portion for whenever that urge to splurge comes up leave some as a "Don't touch until next payday or future adventure travel fund".

Set boundaries. If folks ask why you aren't giving anything up for Lent, don't answer because you don't owe anyone an answer as to why. That applies to families no matter how hard some don't believe in the concept of boundaries.

Take care of your mental health. As someone who was emotionally and mentally abused by the Catholic Church, this felt like something I should've done a long time ago. Find a good therapist or psychiatrist especially one that specialize in treating folks with religious trauma. I've been seeing a therapist and I'm still in the recovery process since I got mental and emotional scars that won't heal right.

If you're pagan like I am. Look into Easter's origins before Christians came and ruin everything like they always have for milenia. Self-reflect on Ostara and the arrival of spring means to you meditate on that.

You're free to reblog and add more to the list and you can hashtag it as well in your reblogs so be sure to enjoy Mardi Gras, dance, eat, drink(responsibly), catch some beads and maybe engage in as much debauchery possible just don't let the debauchery doesn't land you in jail.

Hey guys, love you guys ❤

#Anti lent #indulge #indulgence #ex catholic #ex christian #not fasting #no abstinence for this gal #self care #take care of yourselves #Not a christian anymore #not a catholic #religious trauma #religious abuse #religious recovery #mental health care #look after yourself #no sin in loving yourself #heathen #baby pagan #baby witchling #Ostara #spring is coming #fuck christianity #fuck catholics #do whatever you want #do what makes you happy

[miraclesandlove]

TW

Find out who you are, what you like and what you like to do. You can be yourself, you don't have to be and pretend you would be another person. It might shock you because you might be so different than before. It might shock you because you were never that bad person they said you would be.

#narcissistic abuse #emotional abuse #narcissism #narcissismawareness #religious recovery #recovery #healing #religious abuse #trauma

[dirtyheathencommie]

DEAR EDUCATIONALLY NEGLECTED HOMESCHOOLERS

I’ve gathered some resources and tips and tricks on self-educating after educational neglect. This is only what I did and what I know helped me. I’m about to graduate college with honors after having no education past the age of 9. I wouldn’t be here without the following. Everything is free, and at/well above the standard for education in the US.

The holy grail: Khan Academy. Nearly every course you could take is available here, in order and by grade level. Their open-source free courses rival some of the college classes I’ve taken. This is your most solid resource.

For inattentive types: Crash Course offers a variety of courses that are snappy, entertaining, and extremely rewarding. They work for my ADHD brain. They also have college prep advice, which is essential if you’re looking to go to higher education with no classroom experience.

To catch up on your reading: There are certain books that you may have read had you gone to school that you’ve missed out on. This list is the most well-rounded and can fill you in on both children’s books and classic novels that are essential or at least extremely helpful to be familiar with. You can find a majority of these easily at a local library (and some for free in PDF form online low key). There are a few higher level classics in here that I’d highly recommend. If it doesn’t work for you, I’d always recommend asking your local librarian.

*BE AWARE* The book list I recommend suggests you read Harry Potter books, and given their transphobic author you may or may not want to read them. If you choose to, I’d highly recommend buying the books secondhand or borrowing from a library to avoid financially supporting a living author with dangerous and damaging views.

TEST, TEST, TEST: Again, Khan Academy is your go-to for this. I don’t personally like standardized testing, but going through SAT and ACT courses was the best way I found to really reveal my gaps so that I could supplement.

Finally: As much as you can, enjoy the process. Education can be thrilling and teach you so much about yourself, and help shape your view of the world. It can get frustrating, but I’d like to encourage you that everyone can learn. No pace is the perfect pace, and your learning style is the right learning style for you. In teaching yourself, be patient, be kind, and indulge in the subjects you really enjoy without neglecting others. You are your teacher. Give yourself what others chose not to.

#if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to message me anything #I’ll help however I can #homeschool #ex fundamentalist #ex homeschool #ex homeschooled #educational neglect #education #self education #ex fundie #send me asks #homeschool recovery #resources #educate yourself #ex christian #exvangelical #religious trauma #tw religion #deconstructing christianity

[creature-wizard]

PSA: If you're searching out resources to help cult survivors, check their citations and look out for these names - and if you see them, leave immediately - because these people are all far right conspiracy theorists:

Svali

Cisco Wheeler

Fritz Springmeier

Cathy O'Brien

Mark Philips

Lawrence Pazder

Michelle Smith/Pazder

Lauren Stratford

Texe Marrs

Bill Schnoebelen

Rebecca Brown

Mike Warnke

Literally all of these people were (or in some cases, still are) pushing far right conspiracy theories derived from early modern witch panic, blood libel, and The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion. Literally do not trust anyone or anything that cites them.

#religion #spirituality #religious trauma #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #cults #cult survivor #cult recovery #conspiracy theories #conspiracy theory #conspiracism #conspiracy theorists #witchblr #paganblr #red flag #red flags

[fireflysummers]

Good Omens S2

Okay so.

Excellent Job, Gaiman

Ouch???

I don't like to publicly talk about my personal life. My academic life is my professional life is my artist life. But my personal life? Not so much, outside of vignettes.

But for the past several months, I've been deconstructing a lot of personal baggage and trauma surrounding both family and religion, after leaving the cult I was raised in (mormonism).

It's terrifying to realize that the framework you built your entire self on is false. It's exhausting and painful to deconstruct that framework, to disentangle your identity in the way that won't destroy you.

And it's slow.

Nobody ever tells you how slow it is to heal. You can't control the rate you heal either. You just have to be patient with yourself, and give yourself an environment where that healing can occur safely and naturally.

Anyways.

Good Omens, and its weird tendency to be exactly what I need when I need it.

I first read Good Omens in high school. And honestly, I didn't quite get it, at the time. I only knew it was different from every other book I've ever read, one that didn't treat religion as stupid or trivial, but also one that called out the blatant hypocrisy and control tactics involved. It helped me safely challenge a status quo I hadn't even realized existed.

I first watched Good Omens partway into my Master's Degree. It was everything that I could've hoped for. I understood the book a lot better, but the TV adaptation captured my struggles with mental dissonance, trying to understand and accept the parts of my identity that I was taught God didn't want.

I watch S2 a year into my doctoral program. I'm out of the cult, and it's exhilarating and painful and scary and fun, but I can still feel the scars its hooks left when they were torn out.

I feel like S2 Aziraphale is in about the same place. He's exploring his freedom, but also trying to reorient himself. He's trying to let himself be. He's healing, but his boundaries got overridden due to circumstances out of his control (naked Gabriel). He's been pulled back into the gravity of the abusive system he tried to escape, given a carrot on a stick, and isn't yet healed or strong enough to resist.

On top of that, Aziraphale is still holding onto the hope that the problem was bad individuals, not a corrupted system. He thinks if the leadership is different, things can change. He thinks if he had more authority in the system, he could make things change. And... that's not how it works.

And Crowley. Dear Crowley.

He wants Aziraphale to be farther along in his healing than he is. Honestly, Aziraphale wants it too. But again, you cannot force this kind of healing, even when it results in a loved one making some truly stupid decisions.

Crowley sees the system for what it is. He's already deconstructed that part. But he hasn't really started addressing his own trauma. He's hinged his entire existence on Aziraphale, on being what Aziraphale needs, that he hasn't allowed himself to heal either. And Aziraphale, who is vulnerable and healing, is not able to provide the support that Crowley would need to recover safely.

Which is why them separating is probably the best thing for both of them.

It won't be permanent.

But they don't communicate, and their relationship while delightful and beautiful risks unhealthy codependency that prevents either from really growing or healing.

Anyways, what I really hope to see next season is Aziraphale's realization that the system never had his back. That the system is what's wrong, and that he can't win by playing at respectability politics or gaining a higher status within it.

I want Aziraphale to get angry.

He deserves it. He's tried so hard. He thinks he's lost Crowley over it.

I want him to feel the gut-wrenching despair of realizing how conditional and fleeting the system's version of love is, and I want it to turn into a rage.

But not a destructive rage--the sort of anger that Pratchett ascribes to himself and many of his works. The sort of anger that fueled Discworld and Good Omens. The sort that can be finessed into a weapon and a shield, that can be used to protect the people who truly love you.

For millennia we see Crowley fighting for Aziraphale.

For Season 3, I want to see Aziraphale fighting for his demon.

For him to apologize, without the expectation that Crowley will come back, but because he was wrong and Crowley needs to know it. To not expect forgiveness, not even think he deserves it.

And then for Crowley--who is trying to hide his heart eyes at seeing his avenging angel coming to save him for once, who he can tell immediately has changed, and is finally going Crowley's speed)--for Crowley to give that forgiveness, without strings attached.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #long post #text #religious trauma #religious abuse #recovery

[thepeacefulgarden]

#christmas eve #christmas #holidays #holiday stress #grief #trauma #religious trauma #generational trauma #kindness #self compassion #self care #healing #recovery #mental health #your pain is valid #your feelings are valid #your trauma is valid #feelings #emotions #big feelings

[cultsurvivorsafe]

Cult survivors, you don't lack intelligence. You don't lack morality. Your abuse was and never will be your fault.

#ex cult #cult survivor #cult recovery #recovery #trauma #trauma recovery #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #organized abuse #ramcoa #positivity

[lena-oleanderson]

i talk about god a lot.

#web weaving #god #religious imagery #religious themes #poetry #poem #lena's bad poetry archives #on recovery #on love #on friendship #on god #on faith #on grief #etc #this post isn't nearly complete #queer poets #lena's poetry archives

[1unpunishable1]

Me + Nurse Bendy= trauma bonding forever lol

made by @andy-deer

#moral orel #animation #cw #trauma #childhood trauma #trauma recovery #ptsd #complex ptsd #mental illness #religious trauma #christianity #god #queer #struggling exchristian #ex religious #gay #religion #religious art #religious imagery #religión

[the-jesus-pill]

Shoutout to everyone who aren't free to choose how they spend their Easter this year.

If you're forced to go to church, I hope you can find distractions to make the day fly by faster.

If the pastor won't shut up about how 'evil' you are, I hope you can shake off any guilt they are trying to put on your shoulders.

If you're forced to meet extended family, I hope you can shut out their comments and find time to slip away.

If your family makes you eat food you don't want to, I hope you don't feel sick afterwards.

If this Easter is especially tough for you, I hope you'll find comfort and know it won't be like this forever. I hope you know that you have support, even from strangers online, and you can get through this holiday fast and as painlessly as possible.

#easter #felix speaks #ex religious #apostate #ex christian #ex mormon #religious recovery #ex catholic

[miraclesandlove]

Religious trauma is a thing. It might be difficult or even impossible to practice a religion like other people. Example: reading a religious book or a verse of it, hearing a sermon, going to a religious building, seeing religious things

#religion #religious trauma syndrome #religious trauma #religious recovery #religious abuse #spiritual trauma #spiritual abuse

[jesusinstilettos]

I have c-PTSD so I will randomly be hit with dread and panic throughout the day and in my monkey brain it feels like I’m being hunted down by a tiger. Just saying I feel anxious doesn’t fully describe what I’m experiencing. So my partner and I refer to my anxiety and panic as the tiger that’s hunting me down and it allows me to easily let him know if something is wrong and I can easily communicate how I’m feeling at any moment by saying how close the tiger is. Mildly anxious? The tiger is hunting me and about 10 miles away. Feeling like I’m dying? The tiger is hunting me and it’s literally in the room with us. It’s a validating and kind of secretive way to let my partner know how I’m feeling instead of just saying “I’m anxious.”

#deconstruction #ex christian #ex evangelical #just cptsd things #cptsd recovery #tw cptsd #cptsd thoughts #ptsd #religious trauma #religious trauma syndrome

[creature-wizard]

"I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?"

I figured I'd make a post with all the resources/tips I've collected to help people get out of shitty situations so far, since it's easier than linking to a bunch of posts each time.

Seek out appropriate resources. This can include support groups (online or offline), helplines, and the like.

If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.

Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.

The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.

If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.

If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.

You might also Duckduckgo something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".

Ask people for help in finding resources. If you can't find anything on your own, there are other people who know where to direct you. It might take awhile to find what you're looking for, but keep asking.

A WORD OF CAUTION: there are many predatory spiritual groups and conspiracy theorists out there who prey on abuse survivors and mentally ill people. You will often see these people claiming that channeling or hypnosis can help you remember past life memories or repressed traumatic memories. This is nonsense and quackery.

Relevant posts of mine:

Hypnosis is unreliable for memory recovery, and this is one way we know.

False past life memories among the starseed movement

Here’s the trouble with hypnotic regression…

If you're on a website that claims to support cult survivors and you see any of these names in the citations (and make sure you check the citations!), leave immediately - all of these people are far right conspiracy theorists. (Unfortunately, many people today are unwittingly perpetuating the BS of Fritz Springmeier in particular. See this and this for more info on that.)

Change who and what you surround yourself with. Start associating with different people/groups as much as you can. Get hobbies to fill your time. Unfollow blogs that reinforce the beliefs you're trying to get away from, and follow blogs that provide a healthier alternative.

You might follow blogs like:

A Kind Place

Trauma Survivors Helping Trauma Survivors

Compassionate Reminders

Trauma Survivors Activities

Reasons For Hope

Bluest Fluff

If you're trying to rebuild your worldview without conspiratorial/culty elements, go take a look at my Resources page.

Remember that your first job is looking after yourself. You don't owe the group. You aren't responsible for the group, or for anyone in it. It might feel that way, but it's vitally important to acknowledge when you're unqualified or suffering burnout. You might feel like bad things will happen if you leave, but that's a fear, not a fact.

You also don't have to justify your departure to the group. You can just leave. If you feel that you must give a reason, you can offer something as simple as "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm really busy lately and don't have time to spend here." If they throw a fit over this, that's honestly just more proof that you need to get out.

If any practices the group taught you actually helped, you can keep doing them. If doing affirmations helped you, keep doing affirmations. If listening to so-called healing frequencies actually made you feel better, you don't have to stop listening to them. If you were practicing something like the Law of Assumption, you can carry on with a lot of that under a psychological model rather than Neville Goddard's wacky metaphysical model. (See this video for an example.) If it genuinely helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, by all means, keep doing it.

Get some critical thinking skills. In order to keep yourself from falling into another bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills.

Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.

Learn common logical fallacies.

Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.

Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.

Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.

Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.

Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.

Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.

Learn how propaganda works.

Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.

And watch out for this red flag.

Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.

So yeah, hopefully this'll give folks some actionable advice. I can't promise it's going to help each and every person out there, but hopefully it'll give a lot of you something that will help.

#cult recovery #cults #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #spirituality #resources

[thepeacefulgarden]

And that includes yourself. Also, be mindful that the person whose body you're criticizing might never hear you, but other people will.

#sincerely your friend with pcos #fuck diet culture #no body shaming #body positivity #body neutrality #body image #self care #self compassion #kindness #compassion #if you can't say something nice about someone's body don't say anything #ed recovery #generational trauma #religious trauma

[cultsurvivorsafe]

Your cult trauma is not some horror film. Your cult trauma is not a documentary. You don't have to educate or entertain anyone by recounting your abuse.

#ex cult #cult survivor #religious abuse #spiritual abuse #organized abuse #ramcoa #cult #cults #religious trauma #cult abuse #trauma #trauma recovery #ptsd #cptsd #reminders #positivity #cult recovery #recovery