#so I think I need to make things worse for myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enaelyork · 13 hours

Note

Hey girlie! I got a Coop request for you!!!

May I please please have a Ghoul x fem reader where Cooper gets badly wounded in a gunfight (or maybe a deathclaw encounter? Whatever takes your fancy lol) and she's gotta take care of him, despite his protests?

Thank you luv uuuuuu xoxox

Hey sweetie !!

Thx you so much for this request ! I like the idea, so, let's go.

Cooper Howard (The Ghoul) x Reader/ No Restriction/ A little piece of tension/ English is not my first langage.

My ask for Cooper Howard is OPEN

He hadn't come back.

Several hours had passed since he decided to go alone to the other side of the valley. Night slowly began to bathe the sky and a touch of bitterness pierced my abdomen. Obviously, I let him go, he gave me no choice. We don't negotiate with Cooper. It's always take it or leave it, and when I said that his idea was bad he made me understand by force that nothing would make him change his mind about the need to search the building. But he hadn't killed me. Because I understood, during these long days walking alongside him, that he needs me as much as he is useful to me. Something is literally stopping him from killing me with every passing second, and that gives me some leeway in how I respond to him. So obviously, I allowed myself some liberties when he asked me to be quiet, for example, by reminding him that I had no orders to receive.

But it was a bad idea.

When I heard Dogmeat's distant barking, at first I thought I was wrong to think so. That they were finally back and that I was going to have to admit my mistake. But when his lone figure finally appeared in my field of vision, then I understood the gravity of the situation. Dogmeat had returned without him. He was barking because he needed help.

Or even worse.

My heart jumped in my chest without being able to explain it to myself. I didn't have time to think about what the idea that he might not have survived provoked in me. Grabbing the backpack at arm's length, I slid down the sandy slope to meet Dogmeat and all the bad omens he brought with him. I followed each of these steps in an interminable wait where my fears and my desire to finish him off if he was not already dead jostled.

Then I saw it.

Not him. But the monster lying on the ground, not far from where he was going. His corpse was still warm and his blood soaked the surrounding sand.

A deathclaw.

I recognized this species by its terrifying skull and sharp claws. It was worse than looters, worse than anything I could imagine. There was no longer any doubt about...

-Cooper?

Dogmeat barked inside the ruined building, drawing my attention to the still-intact corridor that someone seemed to have rushed into.

- Oh no.

The words died at the end of my lips when I discovered him there, lying on the ground. I thought he was dead for a moment before I noticed his wheezing. It wasn't good, not good at all and quickly I threw myself on top of him, gently tilting him onto his back.

He breathes. Wrong. But he breathes.

- I said it was a bad idea.

He didn't have the strength to do anything to me anyway, so I might as well take this opportunity to remind him that he was wrong this time.

- Leave me here.

- That's a bad idea too.

I had to act quickly if I didn't want to lose him. And I refused to let that happen. So, without even listening to his protests, I grabbed the inhaler from the bottom of the bag and presented it to his lips.

-Inspired. I said coldly. And you better do it if you don't want me to shove that thing in your mouth.

He no longer had the strength to protest, which made the situation profoundly dramatic. The animal had scratched his side heavily and, without his care equipment, it would not have taken very long for him to stay there.

When I finally felt his deep breath, I understood that I had won the first round.

- I'll carry you to this room and we'll see what we can do, okay?

- No way. His voice was shaky, hesitant, not very credible. So I didn't pay any attention to him, or even to the way he tried to push me away. Without success. It was pathetic to be there: on the verge of death, but too proud to ask to be let out.

- I have to see.

- No.

Unceremoniously, I cleared a bench of the few utensils that occupied it to place Cooper there, too weak to move, he wanted to stand up and lean his back against the wall. There was such determination in the look he gave me that I struggled to maintain control.

- I'm afraid that's not a question.

I looked down at his chest, the idea that I was going to have to remove some of his clothes making my hands numb with impatience and anxiety. A particular mixture that I had never had the opportunity to feel and not only due to the idea of discovering his injury.

There was something in his irises, still burning despite his weakness: fear? Anger ? Something else ?

My fingers had delicately slipped over his jacket, seeing no resistance on the horizon, I helped him get out before noticing the damage. It wasn't pretty. Not pretty at all, but treatable with a lot of resources.

- I have excellent news. You are not going to die today. I only had a loud breath in response, his head fell against the wall while I worked with the bag to find the survival kit.

- What don't you understand? His hollow voice attracted my attention, I waited for the rest of his sentence which did not come. Perhaps he wanted to know why I was trying so hard to keep him alive when he had repeatedly tried to kill me.

- I wouldn't get there without you. I said, grabbing the treatment equipment. And you have to go there too, don’t you?

Why was I talking to him that way? What was this hint of heat radiating down my throat? The band I was trying to wrap around his bust went around it several times before I cut it and fixed it for good. For the rest, he would have to be conciliatory. I was captivated by what I was doing, too much to notice the eagerness with which he grabbed my hand.

But nothing came out of his mouth. Nor mine. We both stayed there, the silence that hovered around us took on a stormy air. I was way too close to him. He too, moreover, was approaching me very dangerously.

My hands struggled to accept the idea of no longer touching him, constantly trying to check if the tape was placed correctly, but when his hand grabbed my wrist, this time, the trend was reversed. It was he who hesitated. He was hesitant to push me away or to pull me towards him. This is what was happening. It was incredibly violent, deliciously violent.

- I'll stay up tonight. I finally said before things got out of hand. Dogmeat will watch you while I prepare something to continue the treatment.

I healed his body while he destroyed my mind.

This is what I was reduced to, trembling, on the forecourt of a ruined building trying to control what was happening inside me. He had refused my help before finally keeping my hand close to him. And, now that I knew he was out of danger, I didn't know if the joy that arose in the depths of my soul was solely due to this idea.

- Janey…

His voice had emerged from the dark night and caught my attention. Worried at first, then reassured to see him sound asleep, the spectacle he offered me tightened my heart. His voice rang out again, weakly proclaiming that name.

A host of questions came to mind, but the evidence was there, in the hollow of this curious moment. He had a heart, and it beat for this person.

So yes, he had to survive, whatever the cost.

#fallout tv #fallout show #fallout prime #the ghoul #cooper howard/the ghoul #cooper howard x reader #cooper howard #cooper howard x you #cooper howard x female reader #cooper howard / the ghoul x reader

83 notes · View notes

ihatedean · 15 hours

Text

it's so small but there's something so interesting to me about the fact that when dean makes eileen's "pro list" with sam he says "she gets it. she gets us" instead of... you know, the much more normal and sane alternative when talking about your brother's potential partner, "she gets you."

it speaks volumes I think because there are so many examples of their attempts at a committed relationship failing specifically because [she] (insert whatever name you want here) did not get them. like, as a unit. [she] understood sam or understood dean and could maybe have given them something they wanted; you think you love someone, and yeah, there's baggage, he's been through some shit he doesn't want to talk about, but sometimes that's relationships, right? but if you had to pinpoint a moment in the relationship when things got bad, it would literally be the second the brother shows up. that's when you realize this man can't even imagine being anything but a half of something else. you love a person that is incapable of seeing himself as such. you loved a coping mechanism.

i don't think dean believes sam ever needed his seal of approval to be with eileen, not consciously at least, but the highlight of these late seasons is witnessing the aftermath of these two accepting that they cannot breathe if they don't know where the other one is. even worse, how natural they make it seem. of course i killed myself to bring you back. water is wet, dude, keep up. and just like dean said, eileen just... gets that. definitely because she met them at a very different point in their lives in comparison to, say, lisa or amelia. they have a security that only comes with seeing with your own eyes as your brother literally kills death for you. eillen knows that if she wants sam, he'll always carry dean with him. she might not fully understand how deep it goes or how bad it can get because she never witnessed it, all she knows is that brother trumps over girlfriend, she's not fighting it.

compared to sam who barely opens up to his partners and i assume only scratched the surface of The Thing with his brother, dean personally had his ex calling him out on his weird relationship with sam. like, lisa borderline insults them lol and though i don't think lisa's words made him insecure about it, it's not surprising he'd be more aware of eileen's reaction to it. "i tried the family thing" essentially means "i let someone see it."

if eileen stays there she'll be dating the two of them, just... in a not-fun, very unsexy way. and no one in that bunker stops for a second to think how deeply disturbing that is.

anyways i wrote this three days ago and thought maybe my brain made up the "she gets us" part, so i looked up the clip to make sure i'm not crazy and found this in the comments. thank you sinasina4170 on youtube two years ago. you said it a lot better in a lot less words.

#they're so unsettling at this point in the show i wish we had more of that :( freaks #incest in horror my beloved #cw supernatural #wincest #gencest #wincest meta #i....... guesssss........#spn s15 #spn 15x08

62 notes · View notes

frostyhelltime · 3 days

Note

Hi again! I would love if you could write possesive or jealous Rosie. Whichever you prefer and feel works best. Thank you in advance!

A/N: I love our prim and proper Overlord of Cannibal Town! Hope you enjoy! ❤️

Jealous/Possessive Rosie with GN!Reader

Rosie in general is very good at maintaining her composure. After all she barely even flinched when the angel's head was taken out and thrown on the table during the Overlords meeting.

It takes a lot to get her to break that composure. Normally, anyway.

But it is possible, and it's certainly much easier when it comes to you.

There are the small times it slips through, such as when someone happened to be hitting on you while waiting for her.

She'll cheerfully call your name, even using pet names such as dear or darling while she wraps her arm around yours, very clearly trying to send a message.

To anyone else if would just seem like a show of affection. But you knew Rosie enough to know this was her way of marking her territory in a way the doesn't appear to break her composure to the general public.

But you keep that secret of hers.

One of many reasons she loves you.

Now if someone has the audacity to hit on you even after you said no, or worse, in her territory....that composure breaks just a little more obviously to the naked eye.

"Oh darlin' you're gonna have to try this newest batch of lady fingers! I think I really outdid myself this time!" Rosie's voice is all cheer and smiles as she brings out the newest thing she's made.

You of course, trust her cooking implicitly and graciously take one before taking a bite.

"Woah! It's good. Has a kick to it, but good." You nod, looking it over as if trying to figure out what the flavor was.

"Oh excellent! I wanted to surprise Al since he's finally back in town so I've been messing around with some Cajun flavors! I think I really got it on this one!" She's got such a chipper edge to her voice because she's happy she succeeded, and you can't help but smile. Rosie was always so sweet, sometimes she felt like a beacon of light in hell just for you, and from the way her citizens talked about her, you would say they agree too.

"Oh he's gonna love it, I'm sure." You smile, leaning over to kiss her cheek, which just further keeps her energy up.

"I'm gonna go ahead and bring them out so I can put them on display and start selling 'em." Rosie smiles, giddy as she leans over and presses her lips to yours in a chaste and sweet kiss.

When she comes back though you seem visibly distressed, another person's hands even on you. She quickly puts down what item was in her hand and makes a beeline to the two of you. She is still smiling but there's a heat to her eyes that is dangerous, and a slight venom in her words.

"May I ask what you're doing?" She cocks her head to the side politely, giving them a chance to apologize and learn some manners.

"Just trying to convince a sweet thing to take a chance on me."

Ah. Well. She tried.

"I think you should leave." Rosie says coldly, although she is still smiling politely.

"What? No. I'm sure I can convince them."

You are clearly not anywhere close to considering going anywhere with this person. At the person's statement Rosie just laughs, placing a hand over her chest as if she had just heard the funniest joke.

"I was not asking, dear."

The man stills a moment from how ice cold her voice is now, and he looks at her as if trying to size her up. But before he can decide what to do she's speaking again.

"If you would like to continue to overstay your welcome, I should have you know that as their Overlord, I take care of all of my souls here in Cannibal Town very diligently...and I've never been one to let them...go hungry." Her smile is still there, polite, as if she were simply asking him if he needed help with anything today. Her threat is indirect but the message is received loud and clear and they let you go, quickly making their way out.

Once they're gone Rosie relaxes, shoulders no longer tense. She turns to you, peppering your face with kisses a moment, to which you just laugh in delighted joy.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize earlier they were harassing you."

But you quickly comfort her and tell her she came just in time. She looks worried for a split second, as if trying to figure out if you're actually okay, when you speak up.

"Why don't we go visit the hotel? Deliver these special lady fingers to Alastor personally?" You suggest, knowing Alastor's company was always a good mood boost for Rosie, and her helpful nature meant she would enjoy giving a gift to someone she cares about. So she smiles and nods, worry leaving her face as she relaxes a little more.

"Yes, I think you're right. That sounds just lovely." She agrees, holding her arm out for you to hold onto so you can both start the walk there.

#ask #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel rosie #rosie #rosie hazbin hotel #rosie x reader

40 notes · View notes

obae-me · 2 days

Note

Omg Hi!!! It has been so long since I have seen you on my dash! How are you doing love? I hope you are doing super well ^.^ I recently saw your Mc with trauma post. I loved it so much, and it has also given me a lot to mull over the past few days lol.

Honestly I love the idea of a traumatized Mc and the brothers feeling like absolute shit for the way they treated them in the beginning... but yk another part of me wonders when I imagine my own traumas in that scenario... that for people (the bros- literal demons) who have faced so many things and traumas in their own lives, whether my feelings or pain is even comparable to that. Ik you can't compare things like that and the brothers would probably even be mad if I think of my feelings this way since it's the "Ohhhh someone always has it worse. It's not even that bad so just suck it up" self-deprecating part of me. Despite knowing ALL THAT I can't help but think that I am not traumatized enough to deserve empathy lmao (I realize how stupid it sounds saying it out loud).

So that is what REALLY got me thinking. What about an Mc that is genuinely terrified of scrutiny, being a nuisance and just basically inconveniencing anyone for things that are just basic needs. Idk if I am explaining it well enough oof and a mc like that (like me lmao) certainly won't bode well with Lucifer. Atleast not in the beginning. I could hate him (I could never but if I did) but still be terrified of disappointing him. This is what I mean when I say I love him but he reminds me too much of my father habits wise 🤢.

I am thinking a Mc who is afraid of asking even their basic needs at the beginning once Lucifer mumbled about them being too much trouble. Mc who feels so extremely guilty when the brothers get anything for them, cuz they feel like they have to work for it or they don't deserve it. Mc whose blood freezes over when they break something and try to replace it as quick as possible so no one blames them. Mc who never expresses their concerns so as to not add to the brothers' already full plates or worry them. It hurts to bottle it all up but seeing the brothers' concerned faces with so much PITY is a thousand times worse. Mc who never complains and adjusts to even unfair situations so as to not be a bother. Mc who just takes, takes and takes everything bad and doesn't say a word cuz they feel like they deserve it. Mc who tells little white lies to hide their flaws and be the perfect exchange student and avoid scoldings and criticisms ; only to stew in shame, disgust, self-loathing when someone eventually catches up on one of the lies (the person probably didn't even make a big deal of it/ was only mildly disappointed but Mc feels their heart breaking in two as they think they have broken their trust forever and would never be trusted again)

Gosh this got way longer than I was expecting >.< and a lot of signs like these aren't really obvious until you are close to that person. I think so many of us are so hard and rutheless to ourselves when sometimes the thing we need the most is a little compassion and understanding ;-;

Hi! I love seeing you in my inbox and thank you! I've been in recovery mode for the last few months but am finally coming back out of that cave and working on my hobbies again (seriously going too long without writing almost feels like going without food for me)! I hope you've been doing well too!

And oof, yes, I understand what you're saying completely. I'm like that too in a lot of ways, keeping certain details or complaints to myself because "Oh surely what I've been to is really nothing". And sometimes I let something slip and people get very concerned. Which is validating in a way, not that I need to be validated for it, everyone goes through their own pain and awful things SUCK no matter to what extent it is and I've had to learn that through my life.

(Wow that MC really is just me, huh? Calling me out are you? /j)

Honestly this type of MC is just canon to me. (I mean, the more pithy responses the MC has in original OM might just be due to writing but to me it just seems like the calm and general response of someone throwing out NPC answers as a survival tactic.)

They suck things up and soak up everything that's been said to them and work hard to remain a normal functioning being.

And of course Lucifer is an interesting character to think about with this MC because on one hand the human could absolutely despise him for the way he treats them. Or on the other hand (if you're like me I guess, which I realize is hella unhealthy, oops) the MC could look up to him and work extra hard to try to gain his validation, because getting praise from someone like that means you must not be a failure, right?

And just...the dynamic of that is so appealing to me, because Lucifer loves when people work hard and do what they're told, but then if he finally comes to the realization that they're burning out and actually almost putting themselves in more danger and harm because of HIM? And at the end of the day he's doing more damage than any of his chaotic brothers? (I like to have him spiral and be humbled just a bit)

Just all of the brothers doing some deep introspection once they come to care for MC and needing to sit down and realize that probably made their human feel so much worse and then spending the rest of eternity trying to fix that. And then the "I can fix him" mentality from MC turns into the "I can fix them" from every other character. A special Uno Reverse, if you will.

Oops, this turned into a fairly long ramble of my own...

Thanks for popping into my inbox with your thoughts! Traumatized MC deserves some extreme love

#not writing #asks

31 notes · View notes

stopaskinf · 2 days

Text

“Boy I’m trying to catch myself, but I’m out of control”

Songs Ateez boys remind me of:

Summary:^ title explains it all

Genre: fluff, Ateez x fem reader

CW: Cursing in some of the songs, sexual themes in some songs

Word Count: I dead couldn’t bother 🙂‍↕️

A/N: Exhaustion has hit me like no other🙃🙃

Hongjoong:

🐿️I’ll Kill You- Summer Walker

🐿️Shameless- Camila Cabello

🐿️Woman- Harry Styles

This man is insane. I feel like Hongjoong’s love is incredibly intense. He doesn’t let people in, so the ones he does? They’re staying. He’s also shown himself as possessive, jealous, and lowkey obsessive. He’d keep you chained if he didn’t understand the importance of autonomy.

Additional songs: Rattlesnake- Tsar B

⭐️Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode

⭐️Insanely Jealous of You - The Soft Boys

Seonghwa:

🐰Boyfriend- Dove Cameron

🐰Slumber Party- Ashnikko

🐰If I was your Girlfriend- Prince

Ok, so Seonghwa is not beating the lesbian protector allegations. Seonghwa’s love feels magical. Most of these are WlW songs because Seonghwa feels like the type to know women intimately. He feels almost maternal in the way he loves you. You’re not sure if it’s on purpose or not.

Additional songs: Virgo- Stwo

⭐️Hidden Place- Bjork

Yunho:

🐶Dream Boy - waterparks

🐶Blueberry Eyes- Max

🐶Want You in my Room- Carly Rae Jepsen

Yunho is quite literally a golden retriever boyfriend. He’s the dream boy you make up when you think of a man you’d want. He’s the boy next door who you’ve known since you were kids playing house. He’s nice, sweet, caring, and he loves you wholeheartedly.

Additional song: Next Door- Amelia moore

Yeosang:

🍃Cloud 9- Beach bunny

🍃Dream Boy- Beach bunny

🍃Please Like Me- ASH

Yeosang is such a little guy. When Yeosang is in love he’s lowkey a simp. He wants to impress you. He wants you to compliment him and make him feel pretty, even if it embarrasses him. Although, as much as he wants to be babied, he’s nervous. He feels the need to prove himself even when you guys get together. You always let him know you appreciate his efforts.

Additional songs: Venus as a Boy- Bjork

⭐️Come to me- Bjork

Mingi:

🐣Aphrodite- Rini

🐣Come See Me- Teenear

🐣I Miss You- Bjork

Mingi is a clingy bastard. We’ve all seen the way he acts with Yunho. He acts that way with you, but 10x worse. He feels a tad bit like a hopeless romantic to me. I feel like he’s the type to think he manifested you because you’re exactly his ideal. This man worships you.

San:

🐱Water- Kehlani

🐱Too Much- Carly Rae Jepsen

🐱Kiss Me through the Phone- Soujia boy

San was a little hard to choose for. The thing about San’s love is that he’s no doubt devoted, but he’s also chaotic. Not so much as Wooyoung, but he can be a handful. His intensity and clinginess almost rival Mingi. Very much the type to throw himself into your personal space because he misses you. He wouldn’t die without you, but his life would be far, far worse.

Additional songs: Cheating with You- The correspondents

⭐️Don’t Bother Me- the Beatles

Wooyoung:

😜Violently Happy- Bjork

😜Deja Vu- Beyonce

😜Drunk in Love- Beyonce

Lord, this man. Wooyoung is as chaotic and complimentary in love as he is in everyday life. You’ve adopted an unruly child who loves you unconditionally. He’s another one where his love borders on obsession. Well, more of a hyperfixation. There will never be a moment where he shuts up about you. Everyone who knows Wooyoung knows about you at this point.

Additional song: Kiss- Prince

Jongho:

🧸Pagan Poetry- Bjork

🧸No Drug like me- Carly rae jepsen

🧸And I love Her- The Beatles

Jongho next to maybe Hongjoong or Seonghwa has the most intense feel. When Jongho is in love, it’s quiet, but he has so much inner turmoil. Another who feels it is hard to let people in. So, when he does, he kinda freaks out at the depth of his own emotions. However, that doesn’t deter him, if anything it emboldens him.

Additional song: When I’m 64- the Beatles

37 notes · View notes

miraculouslbcnreactions · 2 days

Note

It's weird to expect lb to be able to read cn mind and called her a bad partner for it. But it's even weirder for lb to ignore cn WHEN HES OBVIOUSLY IN DISTRESS and not called her a bad partner for it because I think called her a bad partner for ignoring it is understandable and justified especially since she consider herself as his boss.

Every time I bring up this conflict, I try to make it clear that I don't think Ladybug was blameless, I just think Chat Noir's writing was worse. Let's walk through the problem to show what I mean.

Season four stars with Marinette extremely stressed by her new Guardian status. In Truth and Lies, the first episodes of the season, we get this:

Ladybug: Will you cut it out with the practical jokes? I could have really hurt you! Cat Noir:(answering while hanging by the yo-yo) M'lady, the only thing that really hurts me is when you make me go on patrol by myself. (sighs, relaxing his posture) I even missed your little angry pout. Ladybug: Sorry, Kitty Cat, I'm a bit over my head at the moment. (pulling him up) Cat Noir: I bet! "Guardian of the Miraculous", big name, big responsibility!

This is also the start to Chat Noir communicating poorly. In this episode, he's straight up told that Ladybug is in over her head and he never once asks how he can help. In fact, we even get him saying this when asked how he feels about the change:

Truth: Cat Noir, tell me what- (interupted by Ladybug throwing a present at Truth) Ladybug: (covering her parasol with foil) ...do you think about my new role as guardian! Cat Noir: If it doesn't change things between us, then I'm good with it!

So not a great start to the season. I know people focused on Adrien's terrible treatment of Kagami in these episodes, but this Ladynoir dynamic was actually what rang alarm bells for me. I kept waiting for Chat Noir to offer his support since it was really, really obvious that Ladybug was in over her head since she was late to patrols, the last season literally ended with her losing her mentor figure, and, you know, she straight up told him that was what was going on?

The next episode is Gang of Secrets in which we see Marinette out her identity to Alya. I get why she did this, she needed support and her partner doesn't seem interested in giving it, but she can't say that for certain because she never asked him directly and she should have. Trusting Chat Noir over Alya would have allowed Ladynette to maintain the security of her secret identity - a thing she claimed was more important than ever - and to honor their partnership. At the very least, she should have told Chat Noir that Rena Rouge was now a full time holder so that he could account for that in battle and to minimize the fallout by owning up to her mistake asap. The longer a lie goes on, the worse the truth will hurt.

To Ladybug's credit, she does eventually acknowledge her mistake after the Scarabella incident:

Ladybug: You... must've been pretty surprised to discover there was another holder! (Silence. She sits beside Cat Noir.) Ladybug: I'm really sorry, Cat Noir. I should've told you. I mean, if I found out that you told someone about your secret identity, I'd... probably be upset, too. I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings.

This is a decent apology. She doesn't try to absolve herself of wrong doing. Instead, she acknowledges that what she did would hurt her, too, if the shoe were on the other foot. The only thing she loses points on is the fact that she doesn't tell him about Rena Furtive.

However, instead of agreeing with her and telling her that she has hurt him, Chat Noir says that she did nothing wrong and never once brings up how their weakened partnership is bothering him:

Cat Noir: You didn't hurt my feelings. You did everything right. Paris will always need a Ladybug superhero to watch over her. It's just... I realized that if one day that hero wasn't you, m'lady, since we don't know each other's identities, that means... I'd never see you again. Ever. And now, I just don't know if I can bear it.

This is the thing that I hate about this arc. The reason why I say Ladybug is blamed for not reading his mind. Especially because, three episodes later, we get Rocketear, which gives us this:

Cat Noir: Everyone has doubts now and then, (looks down) even me... Ladybug: Is everything okay, Cat Noir? Cat Noir: Yeah, yeah. (prepare his fist) Pound it! Ladybug: (fistbumps) Pound it!

Rocketear is the episode where Nino outs that he and Alya know each other's identities while acting like Ladybug said identities weren't a big deal even though that is very much not what happened. You'd think that Chat Noir would want to know the full story, but instead he just lies and says that everything is fine.

So we have two situations where the show allowed Ladybug to give Chat Noir a chance for clear and open communication and both times he turns her down.

What's worse is that he clearly starts making up stories in his head, leading to Kuro Neko, which starts with Adrien avoiding a fight on purpose as some sort of shit test. He then gets upset when Ladybug... doesn't lament his absence on national TV?

Clara: (from TV) By the way, where's Cat Noir? You've saved Paris without him quite a few times recently. Are you two at odds with each other? Carapace, Pegasus, Vesperia and Pigella: (from TV) Pound it! Ladybug: (from TV) Of course not, it's just that... umm, he's a partner like any other! The most important is to pick the best superheroes for each mission, with or without Cat Noir. No matter what, we've got a great team and we'll always be here to save Paris. (Adrien is shocked.) Adrien: (turns off the TV and sighs) "A partner like any other..."

Dude, what did you want her to do here? Complain that you flaked on her? Make Paris feel less safe by saying she doesn't know where you are? Imply that the fight was barely won without you? What are you doing? Plagg, you are completely failing as a mentor right now.

The shit test continues as Chat Noir goes to meet up with Ladybug now that the battle is over, arriving just as Ladybug has finished instructing the team on what to do:

Ladybug: Come on, guys! Hurry up before you all detransform. I'll meet you at rendezvous points. (The heroes jump away in different directions, and Ladybug starts typing something on her Yo-yo.) Cat Noir: Hey! Meow are you, m'lady? Ladybug: Great, thanks, but I gotta go retrieve all these Miraculous. Cat Noir: I could lend you a paw to help save time. Ladybug: Thanks, kitty cat, but it's a guardian's job to do it. Cat Noir: I know who some of them are, remember? I was there when you first gave them their Miraculous! Ladybug: You don't even know where their rendezvous points are, I don't have time to— Cat Noir: Playing cat and mouse is my forte, you know— Ladybug: (yelling) If you wanna save me time, stop wasting it in the first place! (Cat Noir gasps. As Ladybug swings away, Cat Noir clenches his fist.) Cat Noir: And take my Miraculous back when you're done!

So Ladybug doesn't publicly chastise Chat Noir for missing the battle and rejects an offer to help because of very legitimate timing concerns, leading to Chat Noir quitting because she failed his stupid, petty, childish tests. Realistic writing? Yes. Writing that paints Ladybug as the one in the wrong? No.

Going into this episode, Ladybug has no idea that things are messed up between them even though she has actually kept communication lines open. She asks him if things are okay, but he lies. And when he's ready to quit? He plays stupid games and wins a stupid prize. It's really not shocking that the next scene sees Ladybug totally baffled by what just happened:

Plagg: For a while now, you've been neglecting this camembert— I mean Cat Noir, and going on adventures with the all other cheeses! Ladybug: But he should be happy about it, it gives him more time off. Plagg: Cat Noir doesn't wanna have time off, Ladybug! He is in love with you! And your persistent calling on all the other heroes has broken his heart.

And how is she supposed to know that, Plagg? Was she supposed to assume that her partner was lying when he said he was fine? Because she did ask and he said that nothing was wrong. But something was wrong and it lead him to build up a story in his head, reading nonexistent intent into her actions, all of which is toxic and unhealthy communication.

I cannot stress how common this shit is. I've seen it so many times and I will own that I've done it in the past and wound up getting no support when I needed it because I'd directly told people I didn't and they committed the heinous crime of... believing me.

Here's the other thing, there are times when I'm in distress and legitimately don't want or need help. Times when I just need to be alone for a bit. So if someone asks me if I'm okay during those times, I'm probably just going to say, "Yeah, I just need a people break" or something like that. That's why the Scarabella scene is so bad. Ladybug can see that Chat Noir is in distress and he gives her a fully plausible answer: I'm not upset with you, I'm just saddened by the idea of losing you. And she believes him because why wouldn't she?

Same goes for Rocketear. It's reasonable for Ladybug to assume that Chat Noir is just shaken by the fight. She has no idea about the bombshell that Nino dropped right before the fight. She doesn't even know that Nino and Chat Noir are actually close friends, making this fight a lot more devastating than it looks at face value. Her actions here are not objectively wrong. They're only wrong if you know the whole story, including Adrien's needs. Things that she cannot know unless Chat Noir uses his words to tell her things.

I cannot over stress how much season four is a textbook example of denying yourself support because you cannot communicate your own needs. Is it an understandable character flaw for a character with Adrien's background to have? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. But it's still a character flaw. This season desperately needed an arc about Adrien learning to tell people what's wrong. Not because he's the only one in the wrong here, but because things cannot get better when Ladybug has no idea that she's hurting him. (Nino has no idea either, but let's keep our focus on Ladybug.)

One of the most important things you can do for your own mental well being is to dismiss the idea that your needs are the same as everyone else's. Everyone needs different amounts of attention and values different behavior based on things like their upbringing and life events.

I get the feeling that I'm wired pretty similar to Marinette. At least, it influences how I write her because I can go months without talking to my best friends and still call them my best friends, a trait we all share because two of use are artsy introverts and two of us are moms to young kids, which allows for very little free time. Meanwhile, my SO and his best friend spend hours on the phone almost every week. I swear that those two go into withdrawal if they don't talk at least once every seven days. If months went by without them talking? Something would be very wrong, but the exact same time gap isn't even remotely concerning when it comes to my friends. It's something my SO and I had to figure out when we got together because I need a lot less attention than he does. But we communicated and found a balance that we continue to work to communicate about so that he doesn't feel neglected and I don't feel overwhelmed by too little me time.

What I'm trying to say is Marinette wasn't horribly wrong for assuming that Chat Noir was telling her the truth or that he liked having a larger team so he had less responsibility. Those are reasonable assumptions. Especially since he never actually indicated that he wanted more responsibility until he was ready to quit and decided to shit test her by pushing for more to do when she was stressed and on a timer.

I do think that she should have offered it to him before that or - at the very least - the show should have clearly stated why she didn't do that since it apparently had nothing to do with Chat Blanc trauma like we all thought it did. I'm not saying that she's blameless or perfect or that there weren't things she could have done better. It's just really hard for me to look at Chat Noir's behavior in season four and go, "Oh yeah, he's the injured party here. Ladybug holds all the blame and did everything wrong." She did many things wrong, but generally speaking, she owned her faults and tried to keep communication channels open. Chat Noir chose to ignore those chances to talk or otherwise try to express his needs in a clear and understandable manner.

We'll end with one final point to drive this home: You said that she's his boss. Well, if my boss asked me, "is everything okay with the project?" and I said, "yes" while freaking out about the upcoming deadline that I'm probably going to miss because he's given me too much work, the issue is not all on my boss. It's on both of us. Him for overloading me and me for not telling him I'm overloaded. You could even argue that it's mostly on me because I'm the only one who can properly gauge my own ability to do a given workload. As soon as it was too much, I should have said something. And if I don't feel like my boss is approachable? Then I should quit. But that isn't the situation I'm in and it doesn't appear to be the one that Chat Noir was in, either. He wanted to stay part of the team, he just totally failed to tell Ladybug how being on the team was making him feel.

People magically knowing what you need and how you feel is a myth. I promise you, most people in this world do not want to cause you pain, but if you cannot clearly express when someone is causing you pain, then you will continue to get hurt by people who would be very happy to not hurt you if they actually knew that their actions were causing you pain.

#ml writing critical #ml writing salt #adrien deserves better #marinette deserves better #I do give Luka a bit of a side eye for not getting involved after Wishmaker though #Dude's supposed to be some sort of empath and he's at his best when he's in a mentor role #He should have been allowed to be Adrien's Alya since Nino is clearly not suited for the role #Season four my belothed #kuro Neko salt #ml season 4 salt #you cannot expect someone to correct their behavior when no one is telling them that they're behaving badly #And no one calls Marinette out so of course she doesn't change her behavior!#She is shown to be willing to change when prompted too #She only knew that something was wrong post Scarabella because Alya told her #Do you really think Marinette was aware that she was hurting Chat Noir and just willfully kept doing it?#Or is it more likely that she just didn't know because no one told her?#Feel free to give Tikki some blame too because she's been a real shitty mentor for a while now #which breaks my heart because I love Tikki and Plagg and want them to be good mentors

23 notes · View notes

matchakuracat · 1 day

Text

you know how some autistic people say that life feels like everyone got a manual on how to live except them? i also feel like that but being physically disabled on top of everything else makes it even harder. it's like i have to do all of these things that most people don't have to do and i have no idea how to do them. and i can't ask anyone else about it either because they also don't know. like if i have to go to the dentist for a check up and i need to be prepared on what to do(not the best example but i cant think of a better one right now), i can just ask my mom how to do it because that's something almost everyone does and knows how to do. but who can i ask how to advocate for myself on how to get a mobility aid when im meeting a physiotherapist or a doctor, when i also struggle to speak because of being autistic? i know i can ask other disabled people on the internet for advice which im very thankful for but sometimes my situation is a bit more specific since i also live in a small town in sweden and it's not the same everywhere else in the world.

idk im just so frustrated and anxious and it seems like everytime i try to get help from healthcare they dont want to help me and it just makes my anxiety worse. i literally just want to be able to walk more and be in less pain, is that really so difficult to achieve?

#sorry for being so bitter im just so fed up and exhausted at the moment #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronically ill #actually autistic #disabled #physical disability #disabilities #physically disabled #autistic #disabled rant #vent post #aaaaaaahhhhhh

22 notes · View notes

elmundodeflor · 2 days

Text

Come here, sit down. I have something important to tell you. A message that could save both our lives.

You’ll have two kids, Gabi and Falco, by the time you’re a little over forty. Well, no, it’s not like you’re gonna be a parent. At least, not in the sense that you’re probably thinking. But you’ll care for them. A lot more than you’ll ever want to admit. You’ll brew them your best tea, tell them bedtime stories about giants from a foreign land.

Gabi, the girl, she’s hotheaded, and reminds you of that time you saw firecrackers on a Marley festival. She gets angry at the world often, but she’s kind. And smart. And has a heart that has so many broken, empty spaces, she can take everyone else in; no questions asked.

Falco would never hurt a fly. He has this soft, warm gaze in his eyes that never deceives, never hides. They both look after me, us, though they’re just that— two children of war. Gabi carries my wheelchair, now holds the cups the same way we do. Falco tells her to shush whenever his instincts warn him, she’s making me talk too much.

I don’t know, I guess all this was to say: don’t listen to me. Ignore everything that you’ve ever been told. You’re not guilty of any of these wounds. It was never fair of you to take so much ache in such a tiny, fragile frame.

When I talk to myself, I’m not talking to you, did you realize? When I feel this huge pull at my chest, it’s like a part of me is breaking yours apart, as well.

I apologize, Levi.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

It’s understandable, that you run behind closed doors if you hear my footsteps. That my words make you tremble, and you go search for mom under the covers. You’re scared of me. I’m your nightmare. A ghost that paces in the darkness and looms in the corners of your sweet, sweet innocence.

Every punch I received, every slash that left my skin burnt open, it made you bleed. Every time I doubted myself, my own will to fight, I shrunk you. I made you smaller.

I turned into a monster. You search for me in the shadows, in the closet, under the bed. I’m everywhere. I’m all of them. I’m all those who hurt you, when all you needed was a pair of arms to stitch you back together.

I’m worse than the sum of every enemy. Titans, the nobles, the underground thugs who tore you to shreds. They were on the outside. But me, Levi— this pain—, it lives within us. It’s buried so deep, that it stings, and it makes every scrap of us sink to our very core.

I’m sorry. I am. Don’t listen to me, okay? When I talk to myself, every choice that I regret, it’s not about you. It was never about you.

Even so, though, why do I feel this way, then? Why is it that, every time I wanna hurt myself, I can hear you shout? Why is it that, whenever I put pressure on my shoulders, I can see your hands clinging at my sleeves?

I’m here, you’re there. So close, yet so far. And even at that, what I wanted to say is that there’s still hope.

There's still hope for the both of us.

I’m your monster, right? So, if you turn the lights up… remember? I disappear.

I can still recall every last bit you. Tender, naïve, hopeful, happy. So, turn the lights up, you little Levi. I want to look up in the mirror and find you there, looking back at me. I want you to take control. To take over the two of us.

Your voice is softer than mine, it has always been. Your voice can speckle the small, ordinary things in life with threads of marvel. It can create worlds, where days are ever-sunny and the air smells of herbs and tea.

Your voice will bring us home. I’m sure. Your voice will fill it with warmth seeping from its windows. I’ve been a monster too long, little Levi, but you’re still there somewhere. So, scream. Scream as loud as you can. Grow all the huge and all the brave that I could never be, for the sake of us both.

Or be tiny. Be tiny, and precious, and never let this sappy old grump rob you of your wide-eyed gaze.

And don’t believe a word I say.

And do what Gabi and Falco do for me. When I’m too weak to walk, they let me rest my hands on their shoulders. When I’m tired, or grey, or sick, they climb to my bed and tell me stories about kids who fought dragons and saved their loved ones. They’re my adults. They clean my shelves, they comb my hair, they heal this crumpled soul of mine.

You see? Maybe I’m not the adult that you’d wished me to be. I don’t always treat ourselves with kindness. I don’t always forgive ourselves for what we’ve done. So please, please, please, take care of me now. Be my adult, if only for a little while. I’m tired, and grey, and sick. And I need you. I need you like I need Gabi and Falco. I need you like I need mom.

And I’m sorry.

I apologize, Levi.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

But for right now, it’s you who has to show me that there’s still hope in this cruel, yet beautiful world.

That there’s still hope for the both of us.

20 notes · View notes

nightylantern · 3 days

Text

Sanemi Shinazugawa is not the nicest person and he never will be.

Yeah I think the dude is cool but I hate him with a passion, this will be really messy but I will edit it later and if you disagree with what I am saying i under zero circumstances am trying to fight or target you, manga spoilers below:

I hate this man so badly, and it’s worse as an eldest sibling. To yall who said that Sanemi did everything to “protect” Genya are we seriously going to forget the part where he tried to blind him beyond recovery? “Oh b-but, he knew Tanjiro was gonna save him, b-because he knew he was there,” he gave no time and could care less about Tanjiro, his hatred for demons and his brother took over his senses and he was willing to destroy him for the sake of protection. “But that’s because he doesn’t want Genya to die,” yall Genya has made it clear not just to us but to Sanemi that he solely joined so they could be brothers again, ALL SANEMI HAD TO DO WAS TALK TO HIM AND HE WOULD LEAVE, that’s stupidity and cruelty at its finest ladies and gentleman. On top of that blinding him beyond recovery will only make the situation worse, Genya will most likely be traumatized after that no? To have your big brother whom you loved with all you heart torture you. To all the sane older siblings out there including myself, we may be in situations that we believe that being cold towards our little siblings may be the best choices, as we can be idiots aswell for the sake of protecting them, but I think we can all agree we will NEVER ever go as far as to destroy them beyond recovery. As an eldest sister I would never forgive myself if I ever did that. Don’t you dare come up to me and say this man is “the nicest person ever,” or whatever, he isn’t kind at the least, he gives no empathy to other human beings, and before you hit me with “he suffered so much he has a reason for not willing to be empathetic”, but we see this man not willing to care at ALL with the exceptions of a few people like the Hashira who were there when he joined, sure a person may suffer but they are human, and thus have the ability to acknowledge other people’s suffering. He doesn’t think about others and acts first, like he doesn’t even think why Tomioka may consider himself different and yet jumps to the conclusion that he believe he’s above everyone, when we see Sanemi being so arrogant like in the Rengoku side story, never once does Giyuu ever act cocky, and there are no signs that he believe he’s the better on, that’s not to say I believe Tomioka is also completely innocent because he never expands that he doesn’t see himself above the others, he lets chaos happens, the biggest thing you need to take care of if your working to save the world is clear up misunderstandings so you guys can work and trust each other more efficiently, I’ve seen it happen in so many books and movies. This is also a reason as to why I love Shinobu because she’s able to get to him in a way that isn’t cruel and thus understands him the most (aside from Kagaya) and is able to communicate enough so that she doesn’t get misunderstood by her comrades.

What was my point earlier…? Ah yes, point is Sanemi is not the nicest person and he will never be. I get why he acts the way he acts, I get why he did what he did, but is it justified? NO, there is no denying he neglected his brother and left him alone where he could have been killed, it’s clear he ignored the obvious signs that’s could have saved him, and it’s clear that he took everything to far.

sorry this is rushed I had motivation and was in the middle of class

#sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi shinaguzawa #kny sanemi #demon slayer sanemi #shinazugawa sanemi #slander #rant post #personal rant #mini rant #rant #i hate my brain #demon slayer #kny #kimetsu no yaiba

20 notes · View notes