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bigification · 1 month

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Bear Darts

"Yes! They finally came in." I say in excitement as I pick up a package in front of my dorm. I rush inside and rip open the package. 8 small darts with a weird green liquid inside and a bamboo tube. "There's no way they actually work right?" The website seemed so legit and the concept seemed too good to be true. "Guaranteed to transform any man into a certified bear." Was the tag line. I am tempted to jab one of them into my arm right now, but I'm too nervous. What if it's just poison or something? I should at least test it out, it'll be fun anyway.

I stuff the darts and the bamboo into my bag and head to campus. Who to start with? Mr. Henderson could be a good option. I don't like him so if it goes wrong I don't care, and he's pretty scrawny so I'll be able to see any difference. I decide to head to Mr. Henderson's office, figuring he'll be a good test run.

On the way, I come across a raccoon rummaging through garbage in an alley, and an idea sparks through my mind. If it's that harmful, it would hurt a raccoon, so I might as well test them out. I pull out a dart and the bamboo and head into the alley. I slot the dart into the end of the bamboo, line up the shot, and blow as hard as I can. I hear the swoosh of the dart piercing the wind. The dark hits the raccoons back and it barely reacts, as if it's just a measly mosquito bite. The green liquid drains out of the dart, and I wait for a reaction. It doesn't take long for the animal to start twitching. It's hard to tell in the shadow of the alley, but my kind went straight to the worst, it was poisonous. But then I saw its body change shape. It wasn't much, but its scrawny limbs grew thicker, its belly grew rounder, and its grubby little paws grew larger. By the end, it still resembled a raccoon, just larger and meatier than you'd expect a raccoon to be. Could this be real? I continue watching as the raccoon resumes its normal activities.

I let out a chuckle in excitement at what was yet to come. I walk back out of the alley and speed walk to Mr. Henderson's office, this was gonna be good. The website said results may vary depending on what the person looked like before the transformation, and based on other things like genetics. Essentially it's random. But I was still hoping to see Mr. Henderson with a big hairy gut spilling out of his shirt.

I finally make it to his office and I slowly open his door just a sliver. He's standing in the middle of the room, looking over at the wall to the left of the door. I feel confident enough that he's not able to see the door from the way he's looking. I look over to see he's very concentrated on a bunch of photos hung up on the wall, which makes sense as he's a photography prof.

I take a mental image of the prof before I line up the shot, so I can compare the before and after in my mind. He's got buzz cut and a bushy salt and pepper beard. His frame is quite skinny but I can see a little bit of a belly and moobs under his shirt. That shirts definitely not doing him any favours, I wonder what it will look like on him after. His arms and legs are scrawny, with little fat or muscle on them. He's also wearing some camo shorts.

Now with his image locked in my head, I prepare a dart and like up the shot. Same with the raccoon, I blow as hard as I can and the dart lodges into the side of his belly. He flinches for a moment, but then stops in places. I can see his muscle twitching, as if they're cramping and freezing him in place. It all happens so quickly. It starts with his belly. His small belly grows in waves of soft fat, each wave packing dozens of pounds. Each wave makes his gut jiggle more and more as it grows rounder and rounder. His gut and his love handles spill over his waistline as his shirt rides up, revealing a stretched out belly button. Soon enough, it appears as though he stuffed a small beach ball into his stomach with how large it is. Though it is soon complemented by a growing pair of soft moobs. If what he had before were moobs, he now has full on man tits. They're soft and round, pressing tightly against his shirt. I can even see his nipples harden under the shirt. Next to fall is his ass. His once flat derriere quickly plumped up similar to his belly. Waves of fat perked up his ass as it threatened to rip through his shorts. The button on his pants popped off and flung across the office in dramatic fashion, leaving his fly wide open. His arms and his legs thickened slightly as a layer of fat covered them, though they stayed quite skinny in proportion to his body. Also, in the process, his beard had grown out and became almost all grey.

The entire time I could feel my dick riding up into my waist band. This was so much hotter than I expected it to be. I want to go in there and get my hands on that fatass so bad, but I have to have restraint. His muscles have stopped twitching and he seems back in control, though he still seems laser focused on the wall of photos. He reaches to scratch his belly and seems a bit shocked at the fact that he's scratching skin rather than shirt. "Huh, I coulda sworn this fit yesterday, musta shrunk in the wash." He shrugs, completely oblivious to the changes his body had just gone through. I don't know if I find it more or less hot that he seems to not care that he's a fatass. I don't have time to think about it though, as he starts to turn towards the door. I quickly grab my bag and run. I'll get to see him for photography class tomorrow anyway.

I think about who I want to hit next. I've got 6 darts left and plenty of profs on my list. Now that it seems safe, I'm more willing to go for profs I like. So I think one of the hottest prof off the top of my head. Mr. Ahmed. God he's hot. He's got perfectly toned skin, a thick black beard, and beautiful eyes. The only thing is he's quite skinny, and I like my men thick. So this is the perfect opportunity, and his office is close by.

I arrive at his office and see him just on his phone. My mouth salivates as I think about what I'm gonna do to him. I pull out a dart and shoot it. It lands right into his biceps and the green liquid rapidly drains from the dart. My hand instinctively drifts to my crotch as I wait in anticipation.

He froze in place, just like Henderson. But this time it started from his arm instead of his belly, it must be from wherever the dart hits. His once skinny arm swells, ripping his sleeve in the process. His forearm followed suit, growing a thick pelt of hair in the process as his delicate hand grew into a monstrous man hand. The transformation continued into his shoulders, then to his chest. His shoulders broadened, pushing his small shirt to its limits. Then his suddenly exploded outward, tearing straight through what was left of his shirt. Thick muscles now lay under thick man tits as they hand over his stomach. His already thick chest hair became more dense as his nipples grew large and sensitive. His other arm quickly grew just as large as the first, evening out his hulking body. His exposed belly went from flat to large and rotund in a matter of seconds, though it remained quite solid from strong muscle that grew below it. His gut befell a similar fate to the rest of his body, being covered in a layer of dark hairs.

His lower half quickly grew to match his upper half. Fat and muscle flooded into his ass and thighs until his dress pants ripped in dramatic fashion, leaving him in nothing but his extremely tight underwear, leaving little to the imagination. The legs continued to grow, and his feet seemed to grow at least five sizes, busting out of his shoes. Finally his facial features began to change. The rather young professor looked as if he aged 15 years in just moments as wrinkles and blemishes riddled his face, and his hairline receded slightly. His face also seemed to become a bit chubbier, matching his hulking gut.

He finally unfroze, seeming unfazed by changes in his body. He reached to stretch some of his muscles, I'm sure they're sore after such an intense transformation. But he quickly realized his lack of clothing and left to a backroom to find some. The idea that he wouldn't be able to find any clothes that remotely fit him made it all the more hot for me, but I got out before I got caught.

I was on top of the world, there was no way I would stop now. I thought about who to find next, and the choice seemed obvious. Mr. Salim, how could I forget the health and fitness prof. Ive never had him, but damn it is tempting to take a fitness class just to get to look at him more. He kinda looked like Mr. Ahmed but buff, cocky, and far more charming.

I quickly made it to the fitness building and found his office. I peaked in and saw him working out with his earbuds in, this was my shot. Without hesitation I load a dart and shoot. I chuckle quietly as I see the dart lodge into his ass. He goes to scratch his ass but fails to notice the dart, soon after he drops his weights and freezes in place. His already perky ass grows slightly, but not as much as I'd expect. Still enough to pants ride down his ass a bit, revealing a bright blue jockstrap. Of course Mr. Salim would wear a jockstrap. His thighs grow significantly, bulging with muscle to the point of ripping his pants. The rest of his legs follow suit, growing thick calves and massive feet.

I can see under his shirt that his waist is tightening up, which is surprising given that he's the first one to not get fat. A little disappointing if you ask me, but I'm not disliking what I see so far. His shoulders broaden and his chest puffs out, ripping right through his shirt. His arms nearly double in size, making his look like a bodybuilder as his hands grow to match. His face seemed to age as some of his hair turned grey. As he aged, his already hairy body became even more so, covering most of his body in thick salt and pepper hair. Even his stubble grew out into a thick silver beard.

Mr. Salim put down his weights, got up, and walked to the mirror in his office. He turned so he could see his ass in the mirror and snapped a photo.

A part of me was hoping to see him become a fat slob, something about fat gym teachers always got me going. But I certainly wouldn't complain about this view.

The health and fitness building is right beside geography and history, so I should head there. I try to think of a teacher I've had in this department. Maybe Mr. Smith? I had him for first year history and he's hot, I just remember him being a bit weird. That doesn't matter, I'm already on my way to his office.

I peak through his door and see him focused on his computer, perfect timing. I load a dart and shoot it. It hits him in the side of his thigh. Within moments I can see his jeans struggling to contain his growing legs. His jeans become even tighter as fat fills his ass, creating a loud pop sound as his belt snaps off.

His slim torso expands until he has a thick muscle gut and love handles that spill over his jeans. His chest grows into two strong but soft looking pecs that are impossible to miss through his tight shirt. His arms explode with muscle, making it look like they're gonna rip his sleeves. Finally his face fattens up a bit as a short beard covers his soft jawline.

Mr. Smith leans back in his chair and crossed his arms over his tank of a gut.

It wasn't what I expected for Mr. Smith to be honest. I expected him to turn into a big fat history teacher, but he is hotter as a muscle chub. As I'm watching, he goes to unzip his jeans. He whips out his massive dick and starts to jerk off. Damn I didn't expect Mr. Smith to be packing that, but maybe it's a side effect of the darts. I keep watching until he swivels his chair in my direction, I can't risk being caught so I leave.

I look at my watch and realize I've lost track of time, I have a math class right now. I run across the campus to my math class and quietly sit at the back of the theatre.

I quickly get bored and wonder if I should hit Mr. Derrick with a dart in the middle of the lecture. It's risky but I'm bored so fuck it. I pull out the dart and try to shoot it as quietly as possible and it hits him square in the stomach. Mr. Derrick is a very scrawny man, so I'm curious about how it's gonna effect him.

As soon as he gets hit, he stops talking and freezes in place, but weirdly enough, no one in the class seems to notice. The man's skinny body explodes with fat. At first he grows a small pot belly, then a sizable beer belly, then it settles as a giant ball gut that looks like he stuffed a beach ball down his button up. I'm surprised his shirt has ripped yet. His chest grows two man tits that are visible through his shirt. The sleeve of his jacket starts to look like stuffed sausages as his fat arms fill out all the space in them. The man's thighs thicken until his pants start to rip and his fat ass causes his fly to rip open. Finally his clean shaven face grows a thick brown beard.

He continued the lecture as if nothing had happened. His lack of awareness of his body makes even more hot. I can't believe he ended up that fat, I can see his gut spill out of his shirt each time he reaches up. And every part of his body bounces when he walks around. Eventually he ended up sitting down for the second half of the lecture, and he was often out of breath from just talking.

Once the lecture is over, I walk up to the front of the theatre and talk to Mr. Derrick.

"Hey, I've been struggling keeping up with the material lately, I was wondering if we could have a one on one session?" I ask him.

"Oh ya for sure, just come by during my office hours and I'd be happy to help." He responds. The man is practically panting at this point and I can see the sweat start to drench his beard.

"By the way, I don't think that shirt fits you anymore sir." I say just to make him uncomfortable. He just looks down, blushes, and runs off. Hobbling as fast as he can out of the theatre.

I got two darts left, I should use them wisely. The only teacher I can think of right now is Mr. Brown. His voice is so deep and buttery but his body doesn't match it, he's really skinny. I think he'd be better off as a bear anyway.

I make my way to the athletics facility, I've had him for French and English class, so I know where to find him. He works out around this time most days, so I make my way to the gym. As I walk to the gym, I see him in the corner of my eye in the showers. He's turned away from me, so I quickly take my shot, hitting him in the back. His back muscles grow and become more defined before a thick layer of fat covered them and creates thick rolls down his back. His stomach grows into a sizable belly with a thick belly button. His chest expands, first to juicy pecs, but then they slowly soften into a pair of moobs. His traps grow as his shoulders broaden, I also notice that he's getting taller, like a lot taller. He was shorter than me, but now his head is well above the shower head. His arms grow to match the rest of his hulking body.

Next his ass widened and started to sag slightly under its own weight. His thighs thickened until they rubbed together and his feet grew from a size 11 to a monstrous size 20. I also noticed his dick grow to at least 10 inches, if not more. All the while he was still getting taller, by now his shoulders were above the shower head. Finally his facial features became softer and fatter as the hair on his head fell out, although his stubble grew into a thick black beard.

As the transformation ends, Mr. Brown reaches behind him and grabs the dart out of his back. He's the only one to have noticed it. He looks at the dart for a moment, then turns toward me. I try to duck behind the wall, but I think he saw me. I hide in one of the bathroom stalls until I hear him leave, with the size of that man, it's not hard to tell where he's walking.

Once I can't hear him anymore, I rush out of the stall and grab my bag. But just as I reach the door, I bump into Mr. Brown. He's waiting at the doorway with a small green towel wrapped around his waist.

"What's this?" He says holding up one of my darts. Interestingly enough, it's a full one. The one I shot him with should be empty, so that means. Oh no. I look through my bag, the last dart is gone. Before waiting for a response, Mr. Brown just grabs my arm and jabs the dart into it.

I feel frozen in place. My clothes feel tighter and tighter until I hear them rip. I feel the warmth of the locker room air touch my bare skin. I start to feel itchy all over my body as my perspective shifts higher and higher. I feel so strong. I feel like I've grown a foot in height, but I'm still at eye level with Mr. Browns chest.

I finally gain control of my body and look down at the damage. I have thick pecs and a little bit of a belly, all covered in hair. Thick arms and legs, also covered in hair, actually my entire body is now covered in hair. And the bulge in my underwear is massive.

I turn my attention back to Me. Brown.

"Where did you get these?" He asks in his deep intimating voice. I stutter for a moment. "I'm not gonna snitch, I just got a few people I want to use it on." Mr. Brown asks. My fear turns to excitement as I realize the damage Mr. Brown and I are gonna do together.

#male tf #masculine #fat tf #hairy #male wg #reality change #muscle tf #male transformation

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izurou · 1 year

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LOST IN THE FIRE FT. BAKUGOU KATSUKI

synopsis: katsuki has never thought about children, but today the thought consumes him from the inside out, and so do you.

contains: female reader. adult pro hero bakugou. established relationship. unprotected sex. a creampie. parental themes ie; mentions of pregnancy and children + reader being a mother. kats has a raging breeding kink and is so super in love! 3.1k wc.

note: sounds so dramatic at the beginning but i swear it is not serious like that :c either way i hope you like it < 3

you drive katsuki insane.

sure, you have your moments—times when you’re unimaginably annoying and butt heads with him over every possible thing, but that’s not what drives him up the wall—it’s the thoughts.

the pesky, never ending thought of you. you’re always there—day or night, rain or shine, like a pretty little parasite living between his ears.

he almost mistook it for a quirk, the way you spread like wildfire through his brain, scorching every inch in the process—but he’s since learned that that was just his way of experiencing love, which, at the time seemed a lot worse.

to this day, you burn hot in his mind—an eternal flame that has no sign of dying out anytime soon.

some days you’re dull, a soft yellow hue flickering in the background as he’s on patrol—too focused on whatever bastard he’s pursuing to ignite the thought of you. some days you’re bright, a fiery orange blaze glowing behind his eyes as you kiss down his torso—intensifying the lower you go.

and every so often, you’ll do or say something that threatens an all out explosion inside his head.

“katsuki!” you gasp, cupping a hand over your mouth as you shuffle into the kitchen, where your boyfriend is tossing spinach into the blender.

“what?!” he whips his head around at light speed, worry woven into his tone as he immediately sifts through a file of the worst-case scenarios. did someone die?

“guess what i just found,” you mumble into your palm, staring down at your phone in the other.

his features soften out upon hearing your words, and who knows, maybe it will be your dramatics that tip him over the edge.

he’s pretty when he’s not wearing a frown—with the morning sun seeping through the window and painting a streak of light onto him, defining the discoloured scar in the middle of his chest, and causing the thin silver chain just above it to glint.

“jesus christ,” he rolls his eyes, turning back to his half assed, thrown together smoothie. last he heard, you were shopping online for groceries the two of you had to pick up later this afternoon—so that tomorrow’s smoothie doesn’t end up like this one, shit. “what?”

“guess!” you grin, clutching your phone near your heart in a display of love for your recent find.

“hell if i know,” he mumbles—the muscles on his back rippling as he slices the tops off of some strawberries. “that damn ice cream you always inhale?”

he’s not wrong in thinking you had been browsing the frozen treats, he knows you well, you’ll give him that—but you placed the order ten minutes ago, and found a new website to entertain you.

“no,” you huff, dragging your slippers against the tile as you inch closer, stopping beside him. “and i shared with you last time, thank you very much.”

“huh?” he wraps an arm behind you, momentarily resting his palm against your ass before pinching at the fat. “one bite isn’t sharing, princess.”

you choose to let that comment fall on deaf ears, quickly spinning the conversation back to where you want it as you hold your phone out.

“look!” you beam, watching his gaze travel over the screen. it’s a picture of a little black onesie with two tiny gauntlets on it, and the words baby dynamight printed in orange and green lettering.

“what about it?” he mutters, not giving anywhere near the amount of excitement as you had hoped.

he thinks he recalls hearing about this—probably had the design shoved in his face the minute he walked into the agency and absentmindedly gave the go ahead because, he didn’t, still doesn’t, and most likely will never give a shit about what other people put on themselves, or their children.

“it’s cute asshole,” you huff, a little disappointed, but not surprised by his reaction in the slightest. you lean your head against his shoulder, looking on as his big, strong hands cut through the fruit with the utmost care. “doesn’t it make you want to have babies?”

“no,” he says, lifting a strawberry halve over his shoulder and holding it for you to bite. “does it make you wanna have ‘em?”

“yeah,” you confess.

“yeah?” he’s in disbelief. to his knowledge, you’ve never expressed the desire to have children, and if he’s honest, katsuki isn’t sure that he even wants them—he’s never given much thought to the idea.

“yeah,” you repeat, biting the fruit out of his hand. you lift your head up and smile—making sure that he knows you really mean it. “a mini us would be so cute, don’t you think? as long as they don’t get your temper, or that resting bitch face of yours.”

how utterly cruel of you to tack on a snarky little comment like that, especially after such a heavy one. he doesn’t know if that’d be cute, he’s never imagined it—until now, that is. he swears he can feel his skin heating up at the mere thought of having a baby with you, and when he thinks about what he’d have to do—no, what he’d get to do to make that a possibility, his mouth goes bone dry.

he doesn’t want you to take his silence the wrong way though, and so he mutters out the one word he think he can manage.

“yeah.”

with that, he slaps the lid onto the blender and presses the power button, hoping to drown out any further thoughts on the matter.

⋆

katsuki spends the following hours thinking about you, specifically, about putting a baby in you. no matter what he does—from eating breakfast to sending a few emails, watching a movie with you to running all your errands together—he just can’t stomp out the embers from earlier that morning.

his thoughts carry over well into the late evening, though you’d never know how strong your effect really is—he’s too well versed in the world of fire and explosives to ever give himself away.

then again, he thinks there might be black smoke coming out of his ears when you invite him into the shower with you before bed—a horrible idea if he knows what’s good for him, but he doesn’t, so in he goes.

“katsuki, we should’ve bought it,” you blurt out, eyeing him up as he rinses the suds from his hair. the muscles along his torso stretch and twist with his movements—crashing waves against his skin that only further your cause.

“huh?” he gently shakes his head around, ridding his locks of any excess water before squinting at you through the one eye that didn’t wind up with shampoo residue in it.

“the baby onesie,” you clarify, snaking your arms around his waist and leaning against his chest in search of warmth—seeing as he’s hogging all the hot water. “what if it’s extinct by the time we have kids?”

we, you and him together.

honestly, he doesn’t know how you do it. he of all people should be indifferent to a little heat—but there you go again, burning him from the inside out.

“it’s my shit, can tell ‘em to make more,” he says, shifting your bodies around so that you’re under the stream of hot water—pure bliss for you both.

“a pink version?” you peer up, blinking through the droplets of water that flock to your eyelashes.

you want a little girl, is that it?

there’s a lump in his throat—another thick cloud of smoke, this time threatening to pour from his mouth. you being pressed up against him isn’t helping either, in fact, all you’re doing is sending all that heat south.

“anything you want, sweetheart,” he responds, pressing a rather short but passionate kiss to your lips—just enough to hold him over.

he’s quick to excuse himself after this, mumbling something about you taking for fucking ever to shave—which, while true, is not why he’s fleeing.

he needs a couple minutes to gather his bearings, to ask himself if he should really do this.

katsuki is responsible, whether it be a condom, or him pulling out the second he feels his cock start to twitch—he’s never finished inside you, but he’s always wanted to.

for him, it’s not the idea of getting you pregnant—that was the one reason he didn’t do it, because he wasn’t ready, nor did he know if a father was something he even wanted to become. instead, he gets off on the thought of him being the only one who gets to cum inside you—you’re his, and that’s one way he’d like to prove it.

however, now that you’ve so easily persuaded him into wanting a mini us—that possibility sounds a lot less like a consequence.

⋆

“‘bout damn time,” he scoffs, seeing as how it’s been over twenty minutes and you’re only just shuffling into the room now. “c’mere.”

you watch him sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed, patting his thigh as an invitation for you to come sit. you don’t know what he’s thinking—you’ve barely dried off, still wrapped in your towel and dripping onto the floor every now and then.

“yes?” you ask, holding the fabric tight against your body as you make your way over.

you come to a halt in front of him, seconds away from opening your mouth again to ask what it is he wants—but he pulls you down onto one of his thighs, spreading his legs so that you’re facing towards his vacant one.

“you really wanna have a baby with me?” he’s looking at you with tiny red hearts in his eyes, already sneaking his fingers beneath the fluffy white material sitting loosely on your thighs.

“of course i do,” you smile, how cute of him—like a little puppy begging for a treat. “maybe even two.”

your words set the hearts ablaze, forcing him to see nothing but you—and you might’ve meant of course i do in the future, but all he can see right now, is you.

he kisses you, letting his lips move against yours freely this time—letting his tongue explore your mouth at will. his middle finger dips between your folds, drawing a line from your clit down to the sticky mess waiting below.

you’re excited too.

he breaks the kiss upon feeling how wet you are, drawing his hand back and looking down to catch the little string of arousal that connects his finger to your cunt.

“katsuki!” you gasp, squeezing your legs together out of embarrassment. pressing up against him in the shower didn’t help your case either, clearly.

“want you just as fuckin’ bad,” he assures, gently urging you off his lap—just to tug you back on immediately after, this time to straddle him.

you let the towel pool at your waist, giving katsuki free reign over your tits—to which he swiftly pops one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around your nipple and tugging it between his teeth.

“katsuki please,” you sigh, rutting yourself against the bulge in his sweats as you fist a hand through the shorter hairs at the back of his head. you don’t have time for this.

“huh? please what? gonna need some more from you, baby,” he hums, looking up at you through hooded lids—his gaze a deep shade of crimson you’ve never seen before.

“fuck me,” you whine, tugging at his waistband. “please.”

a proud grin flashes across his face—no matter how many times he hears it, the sound of you asking to be fucked will forever be his favourite tune.

“move this shit,” he mumbles, tossing the excess fabric to the floor and running his hands down your sides, over your hips, and along the curve of your ass. “fuckin’ gorgeous.”

he tugs his sweats down just barely enough to free his cock—tip pink and wet, leaking onto his fingers as he lines himself up with your entrance. he runs the head of his cock between your folds, collecting a bit of you on his shaft before pushing in.

you’re warm, always welcoming him with a hug—a tight squeeze of your walls that makes it almost impossible for him to bottom out. he knows you need to adjust before he does that—the thickness of his cock proving to be too much every time.

“relax,” he orders, resting his hand at the base of your throat and kissing you once more—because he knows, all too well, that this combination will have you sinking down onto his shaft, melting into him completely.

once his cock is fully sheathed, and he has you right where he wants you—flush against him with your tits in his face, he gets ahead of himself, and makes the mistake of thinking about cumming in you a little too early.

“mmm, feels so good katsuki,” you babble as you start to move your hips, up and down over and over again, warm velvet walls dragging against the entire length of his cock.

and it’s as if someone cut off the oxygen to your bedroom, he feels like he can’t breathe—all he can do is stare, tunnel visioned on the spot where you and him connect.

he already wants to cum—wants to fill you to the brim, watch it come gushing out, and fuck it right back into you. the thought alone has the corners of his vision tingeing orange—a telltale sign that you’re taking over.

a couple more minutes of you bouncing on his cock, and he can feel a burn in his lower gut—this one much more familiar than the one inside his head. still, he might as well be pronounced dead on the spot when he glances down and sees the little ring of arousal you’re leaving at the base of his shaft.

“shit,” he breathes through gritted teeth—resting the crown of his head against your chest as he tries to hold it together.

being completely oblivious to just how close he is to turning to ash—you start to rub circles onto your clit, readying yourself to cum with him.

you start to flutter around his cock, mindlessly babbling about how close you are, about how you’re going to cum for him—and you feel so good, so warm and tight—but right as his cock begins to twitch, he lifts your hips up, and off.

“fuck, fuck,” he pants, chest heaving as he stares down, watching his precious cum spurt from his tip and run down the sides of his shaft. what a waste.

“katsuki,” you drawl, soft and sweet as you brush the hairs matted to his forehead back. “what’s wrong? too much?”

if he’s honest, he doesn’t know why he did that—maybe it was instinct, something he did out of pure habit, or maybe it was too much, something he didn’t want you to see up close.

“nothin’ baby,” he mutters, grabbing one of your wrists and pressing a kiss to it. you’re so cute, so thoughtful and sweet. “c’mon, switch with me.”

you’re quick to move, knowing exactly what he wants as you go from his lap to the bed. you get on your knees, lowering your chest until your tits are flush against the mattress and your ass is in the air—consequently putting your messy pussy on display.

“atta fuckin’ girl,” he praises, kicking his sweats away and grabbing onto your hips—pulling you back just a little to define the arch he loves to see so much.

his heartbeat pulses in the tips of his fingers as he slides back into you, and he knows, he’s not going to last—still sensitive from his previous orgasm.

he starts to thrust, and it’s just like before—the unmistakable feeling of being consumed, both physically and mentally.

it starts at his feet, the kind of numbness that can be compared to television static. it travels up his legs, bypasses his cock, continues up his torso, and ceases at his neck.

“please kats, cum in me,” you slur, a mindless plea thrown over your shoulder—but one that almost incinerates katsuki right there.

and he’s glad you can’t see him right now, he’s positive he’s never looked more pathetic—head thrown back, eyes screwed shut, and brows knit together in such a way that it makes him look like he’s about to cry.

in all of this, he knows that the one thing able to ground him is still you—and so he pulls you up, tugs on your arms until your back is flush with his chest. his skin is sticky, hot—save for the cool metal of his necklace pressing between your shoulder blades.

“fuck princess,” he growls—rough, coarse, and right against the shell of your ear.

“‘m close katsuki, ‘m gonna cum,” you gasp, cunt fluttering around him at an even faster rate than earlier.

a strangled moan rips from the back of his throat, uncharacteristic, he knows—but he’s never felt this good, never loved the burn as much as he does right now.

his grip tightens to an almost unbearable level, one hand on your throat, the other splayed across your tummy. his breathing is an absolute mess, a string of breathy little pants against the crook of your neck. his heartbeat is everywhere—blaring in his ears, pounding in his chest, throbbing through his cock—and he cums.

he cums hard, face scrunching up as he feels you pulsing on his length, vision going white as he feels his warmth shoot out—it feels so fucking good.

you fall flat against the mattress, resuming your earlier position and snapping katsuki back to reality as you force him to slip out of you.

his eyes are glossed over as he looks down, and it feels like a lifetime passes as he stares at your cunt, waiting—but it comes, his cum, sticky and white as it leaks onto the sheets.

“fuck,” he’s barely audible, with an incredulous look on his face—bringing his index and middle finger up to spread your lips and coax more of himself out. nothing could be hotter, he’s damn sure of it.

satisfied, he flops down onto his back beside you, and he feels calm—like he’s comfortably walking down the streets of his brain as they continue to go up in flame—like he’s in control.

“well?” you say, curling up into yourself as you look at your big, strong, fucked out boyfriend.

“you’re fuckin’ perfect,” he hums, gaze never leaving the ceiling. “gonna be a perfect mom.”

“fucked you that good, huh?”

he turns his head to the side, what the fuck written all over his furrowed brows and scowl, because no—he fucked you, and you know it.

“shaddup,” he groans, playfully placing his palm over your face and pushing gently.

he sits up, leaning over the edge of the bed to grab that towel from earlier—he knew it’d come in handy later.

“hey,” you call out.

he peers over his shoulder at you, and you have definitely, never looked more beautiful.

“maybe even three?”

#izurou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou smut #bnha x reader #bnha smut #bakugo katsuki x reader #mha x reader #no one knows how bad i wanted to make reader say “that was fire” as the last sentence #can u imagine lmfao

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yelenasdiary · 3 months

Note

I was wondering if you could do a Wanda X masc reader. Wanda is a cam girl and reader pays her to go out on a date due to having social anxiety. Please add some angst oh and a happy ending.

Just Be Yourself

Pairing: Camgirl! Wanda Maximoff x Masc! Reader

Summary: After a dare from your friends, you asked your favourite camgirl out for dinner, of course paying her for her time.

Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of Adult entertainment, Mentions of Social Anxiety, Wanda getting some unwanted attention, Mentions of physical violence | 2K

AC: I hope it’s okay that I tweaked this a little, thank you for sending it & I hope you enjoy! x

"What's the worst that could happen? she says no?" your friend said, flicking through her magazine. "That's the not point" you replied, "she'll probably think I'm just some creep like the rest of her followers. Hey, you don't know me but if I paid you $300 would you go out on a date with me? I would sound desperate" you added.

"You're overthinking it, she is literally asking people to give her money to perform stuff on camera" your friend pointed out, "besides, I dared you so you have to do it" she added. You sighed knowing she was right, whenever one of you dares each other to do something it becomes like an unspoken rule that you had to do the dare regardless. You grabbed your laptop and opened up the woman's website.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard as you thought of how to ask her out to dinner tonight, but she did say she was open to these type of things. People give her money to just go to engagement parties as a plus one from what you've heard. How do you ask somebody you've only had little interaction with on a date? To dinner? You went to close the lid of your laptop until your friend stopped you, "give it me!" She shook her head, taking the laptop from you.

"Hey,

I hope this isn't out of line or anything, but I would love to take you out to dinner tonight. I would pay you of course, just name a price. If you're interested and would like to have a fun night, I would be more than happy to pick you up around 7pm. If not, that's fine but I hope you'll think about it"

Your friend typed out the message and pressed send. "There, now it's done" she looked to you.

"What did you say?!" You panicked. Your friend turned the laptop around to face you, "oh god" you sighed, "this is stupid!" You added.

"I have been hearing you talk about how funny this woman is and also how you beautiful you think she is, despite her being a camgirl, I think you should really go for this" she explained. You were about to reply when your laptop made a ping like sound.

"Hi there!

This is really sweet of you and I would love to have dinner with you tonight, are you in or around the Westview era? If so, there is a diner you could pick me up from if you'd like. I would feel more comfortable in a public setting, I hope you understand.

As for pricing, I usually charge $800-$1,500 for events but for something like this, $500. Let me know what you think! I can't wait to hopefully meet you!

~Wanda xo"

The message stared back at you leaving you speechless. She actually replied, she said yes and even said she couldn't wait to meet you. Your social anxiety had suddenly made its appearance, your palms began to sweat and your mind was coming up with different ways to try and get out of going. As much as you wanted this, your anxiety had always been a block in the road.

"Hey, don't even think about it" your best friend's voice brought your mind back to the present. "I'm not doing anything" you replied, walking over to your wardrobe. "You are, you're thinking of ways to not go, you're letting your anxiety win" they added as if they were inside your head.

"I'm not, I am just trying to think of something to wear" you replied, brushing off their comment.

----

As asked by Wanda, you waited inside the diner for her to arrive. You wore a pair of your favorite jeans, a plain colored tee topped with your favorite jacket and shoes. Your favorite rings on each hand and one of your favorite necklaces to finish the outfit. The clock on the wall read 7:10pm and your mind began to wonder if maybe she had stood you up. Your heart began to sink, the one time you try to put yourself out there and you get stood up, until.

"Y/n?" A woman's voice softly caught your attention, making you turn around. You smiled softly; it was her.

"Yeah, that's me" you replied trying to hide the nervousness in your voice.

"Hi, I'm Wanda" she smiled sweetly, "it's lovely to meet you" she added as she reached in for a friendly hug. You were glad she didn't go to shake your hand, nothing seemed to stop them from sweating. You took a moment to yourself just to remind yourself that you've got this! Your friend's voice floated in your head, "just be yourself, she'll love you!" Reminded you that you didn't have to be nervous besides the fact this woman is a complete stranger that you met on the internet, but she was just as nervous as you were, you just didn't know it.

"It's lovely to meet you too, I made reservations at a Mexican restaurant only a few blocks away, is that okay?" You replied.

"I love spicy food!" Wanda's eyes lit up. You smiled softly, thankful that she was excited for the place of choice. You held the door of the diner open for her as you both left, you held the door open of your car for her which surprisingly took her back a little. "I can't believe I was beginning to think that nobody liked to hold the doors open anymore" she commented with a chuckle.

"I guess you could call me old school" you replied before closing the door. Your nerves slowly began to calm down, you'd made her smile and chuckle all before even getting to the restaurant and you took that as a small win.

----

"I have to say, this is really refreshing. I mean, you're not like anybody else who pays me to pretend to be their partner or pays me for other things. You're sweet, so I have to ask…why did you want to take me out tonight?" Wanda asked, taking you completely by surprise while the two of you picked at the shared small bowl of nachos before your main meals arrived.

"Oh, umm, I mean, thank you" your words stumbled, "I don't want to sound like a creep or anything but I didn't first come across you from your website. You actually came up on my Instagram and I thought you were beautiful so I followed you and then I saw your website and some of the things you do on there but I just thought you'd really nice to get to know but I totally understand if that freaks you out" you added, your palms under the table begin to sweat once more.

Wanda smiled softly at your reply, "that's really cute actually! I am so used to people wanting 1 thing, which I guess I set myself up for that but it's really nice to not feel that tonight" she spoke.

You couldn't help but smile in reply just as the waiter placed your main meals in front of the two of you. "So, tell me a little about yourself" Wanda looked up at you before picking up her fork.

By the time you had ordered dessert for the two of you, plenty of laughs and jokes were being shared. The night was going wonderful, better than you could've ever imagined and your anxiety eventually became more tolerable.

"Hey there, sorry to intrude on whatever this is but are you scarletwitch838?" a young man asked, not caring for the fact he was in fact intruding. Wanda looked up at him and sighed quietly to herself, "I'm sorry, you must have me mixed up with somebody else" she replied.

"For real? Damn, you look just like her, look!" he replied, pulling out his phone and showing her a video she'd uploaded to her site. "H-how did you save that?! You're not supposed to keep the content!" Wanda snapped in a panicked. "I knew it! You are her! Yo, I'm a huge fan! The way you can move your body, man I've never jacked off so hard before"

"Okay, that's enough. You're being rude and I think you should go" you stood up, looking him in the eyes.

"What the fuck are you going to do about it? You know she's a whore for the camera, right?" he laughed causing Wanda to excuse herself. You wanted to call out for her but you didn't want the man to know her real name. The man laughed once more, "I guess the bitch can't handle the truth, I hope you have a great time with her, sure as hell everybody else has" he added with a smug look.

Your body reacted faster than you could think, punching the guy in the face harder than you've ever hit anything before. He fell to the ground, "You crazy bitch! What the fuck!" he groaned. Customers around you all froze, the manger shook their head at you from afar and you knew you were going to be asked to leave. You pulled out your wallet and placed a $100 bill on the table before making your way to the bathroom to find Wanda.

"Wanda, are you okay?" You asked from outside the bathroom. She opened the door and sighed, "I'm so, so sorry about that. I really try to avoid things li-"

"Hey, don't stress. He was out of line, you have every right to be mad. Plus, I think he got the message" you interrupted her.

"Excuse me, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave" an unknown voice spoke from behind you, you turned to see the manager standing there with an unimpressed look. "Don't worry, we were just leaving and honestly, if anybody should be leaving it should be him. He harassed this woman, is that what you want your restaurant to stand for?" you replied. Wanda looked between you and the manager.

"I'm really sorry, I wasn't aware that he was causing an issue. We will ask him to leave, and your night is on the house. Again, we are sorry" they replied, handing you back the $100 bill you placed on the table before. You gave them a light nod before looking back at Wanda, "I'll give you a ride home"

----

Wanda gave you directions to her neighborhood, you pulled over out the front of a nearby park out of respect for her but she insisted it would be okay for you to see where she lived. "Nobody has ever stood up for me like that" she said as you pulled up out the front of her house.

"You don't deserve to be treated like that by anybody" you replied looking over at her.

"I had a really great time tonight, I really hope this hasn't ruined it for you"

"Ruined it? This was the best date I've ever been on. Even with that crap, I had a really fun time with you. You're funny, you're sweet and really, really beautiful. I'm not usually this straight forward like this but I just want you to know that I don't see you like how he did" you replied with a soft smile, "you're person just like everybody else and so what, you make some money online, we all need to make money to live. So who is he to judge how you make your money" you added.

Wanda smiled before leaning over and placing a kiss on your cheek, "I'd love to see you again, if you're up for it" she said as your cheeks went red. "I'd love that" you replied with a flustered look.

"Good, keep that money, I don't want you pay for my time. You deserve it out the money" she replied, "I'm going to put my number in your phone, text me when you get home, okay?" she added. You nodded before you punched in your passcode and handed her your phone. Your stomach filled with butterflies, your night started off with nerves and anxiety was now ending with flustered cheeks and butterflies. It was safe to say you were excited to plan the next date.

If you want to be on the taglist for my work, please click HERE.

#yelenasdiary asks #anon #fanfiction #marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #Elizabeth Olsen #camgirl! wanda

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unforth · 6 months

Text

I had a day off yesterday.

And I can already practically hear the assumptions that such a statement is prompting the reader to make. Those assumptions are wrong. I don't mean I didn't work. I did, for about 8 hours. That's not at all what I mean.

I mean my wife took the kids out at 9:30, spent the night with her mom, isn't back yet the next morning.

There are things I NEED people on this website to understand about parenting. And I've talked about it before, and I'll talk about it again, because honestly the way that Tumblr as a cohort talks about parents makes me sick. Multiple polls have shown that only about 2% of people on here are parents. We're a huge minority, and we're constantly talked over, ignored, or accused of being bad parents (like, personally, I have had people reply to my comments or come on to my posts and tell me I shouldn't have my kids). In my case, being a parent means I'm almost 41, I'm married to @ramblingandpie, and our children are inching up on being 8 and 6 years old.

My entire day, and therefore my entire life, revolves around them. I'm up most mornings at 5 AM, because that's the earliest they're "allowed" to wake up, and so my brain just defaults to being awake around then - better to wake up before them, at least then I get a few minutes in the morning. Between 5 and 7, I sit with them, do my social media, work on side blogs, study Chinese. Then it's helping them get ready for school, then my wife or I or both get them on the bus, and then I work until the last possible minute, which is either when I need to go pick them up for an after school activity or when I need to go down and meet them off the bus. My afternoons are after school activities, chores such as washing the dishes and cleaning up toys, talking with them, working with them, playing with them. Their bedtime starts at 7:40, and my son gets scared if I leave before he falls asleep so I sit with him until about 8:15. As soon as he's asleep, I go fall on my face, sleep as best I can, then wake up and do it again. Overnight, it's hard to sleep deeply, because about once a week someone will wake up in the middle of the night and need help. That could be as minimal as a hug or as complex as having to completely change the bedding on a bunk bed at 2 AM while also comforting a child who is afraid they'll be in trouble, or afraid they're sick, or afraid of their nightmare, or, or, or. Further, if a child is awake, there is always noise. I usually study Chinese with two or more competing sources of noise. I read the same way. My life is loud, and active, and consists of constant interruptions.

I adore my family, and I love my children, but this is terrible for me.

I do all of this as an neurodivergent introvert. My clinical depression is at least medicated, mostly because post-partum depression after I gave birth the first time nearly drove me to suicidal in under a week (we were expecting this and were prepared, fortunately, getting help was as simple as a phone call). The constant noise and interruptions and forced socialibility are about the worst combination of home-life I could be subjected to. I spend far too many early mornings just breathing deeply and gearing myself up to be subjected to the wall of Loud, Boisterous, Needing-My-Attention that is every minute when anyone else in the house is awake.

So what did my day off look like?

I helped get the kids ready to go and did some morning chores. I'd been up at 4:30 AM so I also had already social media'd and studied. Then, while my wife finished the preparations, I started work, and I worked from about 8 am to about 4 pm, straight. I didn't get hungry so didn't bother stopping for lunch. No one interrupted me, no one asked me to look at anything they'd built, no one broke my concentration, no sounds could be heard except those I'd chosen myself.

I'd been out the day before at a local shopping street and listened closely to the things the kids said they wanted, so at 4 I grabbed a couple orders I needed to ship for work and drove to our local downtown, dropped the orders in a post box, then went back to the shops and did some Christmas shopping in the 45 minutes or so before everything closed. I think I'm basically done with what we'll get them - other bigger things will be left to grand parents - so that's a load off, I literally had a stress dream earlier this week about it being 12/24 and having forgotten to do the shopping and having to go to (oh horrors) the mall on the day before Christmas. (Reminder: I'm a Jewish atheist. It's just virtually impossible not to Holiday in the Culturally Christian Hellscape that is the US. Also, my wife is Christian. So.) Found something cute for my wife, too, even tho I already know the main thing I'm getting her. Then, I realized - one of my favorite restaurants is on that block. So. I went there. I sat by myself at a table, only the indistinct restaurant hubbub around me. I read four or five chapters of my book, and ate a savory crepe, and drank lovely fruit tea, and got a scone to-go that I'll eat for lunch today. It was more than I probably should have spent on myself - about $25, including tip - but fuck it. I only get maybe a handful of days off all year, and I'm allowed to indulge a little.

Then I came home. There were no lights on. There was no noise. I had considered doing some more merch work while watching TV on the actual television (my kids are too young for subtitled shows, so usually if I want to watch My Shows I either have to do it on my computer when they're not around, or put them on and read all the subtitles aloud while trying to keep up and process the actual meaning of what I'm reading). But when I got back, the quiet and dark was so goddamn NICE that instead I curled up on the couch and read more of my book. I did that until bedtime - still about 8:15, because I'm exhausted. Then...I went to bed. And I slept long and deep, knowing that there was no chance I'd be interrupted and woken up, I didn't have to be, even in sleep, alert to every noise and possibility that I'd be needed.

I'm still exhausted and burned out, but even one night to myself felt really, really nice.

Saying "Tumblr does X" as a universal statement is doomed to failure, but generally speaking, the parenting posts I see on Tumblr, the ones with tens or hundreds of thousands of notes, speak what's apparently widely seen as a truism on here: that unless someone wants to spend 24/7 with their kids, to be 100% emotionally available at all times, is always kind and patient and perfect, they are a bad parent, maybe even abusive. I remember when covid started, there were multiple posts actively mocking the "oh god, my kids are now home all the time, how am I supposed to do this?" attitude that a lot of parents posted in despair. WhY dId YoU hAvE kIdS iF yOu DoN't WaNt To SpEnD tImE wItH tHeM?

Look at what my usual day looks like.

Look at what my day off looked like.

Do you really think I don't want to spend time with my kids? Do you really think I don't love my kids?

But I'm not a fucking MACHINE. I'm a PERSON. That's what people on Tumblr seem to forget. PARENTS ARE PEOPLE. The same tumblrinas who post ~uwu be kind to yourself rest if you need to, you should forgive yourself for that mistake you made~ will turn around, with zero sense of irony, and post "you're a bad parent if you ever raise your voice around a child."

Expecting parents to be perfect means expecting parents to be inhuman. It also means that a parent can't be poor (can't spend all your time being the perfect parent if you have to work multiple jobs or weird hours!), can't be introverted (can't be a perfect parent if you're not completely emotional available, god forbid socializing is exhausting for you), can't be on the ADHD or autism spectrum (what do you mean you forgot to get your kid to a doctor's appointment once? what do you mean over-stimulation can make you angry? how dare you get angry at a kid!), can't be depressed (gotta get out of bed every single day, gotta always be upbeat, patient, happy, or else that's Evil), can't be (like my wife) physically disabled (what do you mean your hands hurt too much to hold a child's hand? are you denying them touch?? CRUEL). And when the only answer you can offer to that is, "if you can't be that perfect you shouldn't be a parent," then you're saying people who aren't middle class to wealthy, people who aren't neurotypical, people who aren't physically able, shouldn't have children.

And honestly...what the fuck is your problem?

I'm not perfect. I tell my kids to just leave me alone sometimes. I raise my voice, especially when one of my kids starts punching the other, but also sometimes just cause I'm exhausted and Can't Anymore. I've forgotten an appointment by accident and felt like a total fucking idiot, and I've skipped an after school activity because I just wasn't up for taking them. I've served them more unbalanced, unhealthy meals than I can count. I've made many, many mistakes, but I've also done my best, and I love my kids, and I hope that when they grow up, they'll still love me even as they recognize that I wasn't perfect, just as I've come to accept my own parents' short-comings while still loving them very much. They're people, too, and the older I get, the more I understand where they were coming from.

When I fuck up, I apologize.

When they tell me they're unhappy with something I've done, I apologize, and I try to do better. Sometimes I even succeed.

This shit is hard, yo. And it's getting harder every year.

I'm BEGGING Tumblr: you need to start seeing parents as people. The way y'all talk about parenting on here is toxic, and genuinely harmful, and frankly exhausting. You have no idea what the reality of raising kids is like, and you need to shut the entire fuck up.

I had a day off yesterday.

I might get one more before the end of 2023.

I already can't wait. I am so, so, so tired. sigh

(if you actually read this whole rant and even a single word of it resonated for you, please reblog it. I'm tired of never seeing positive posts about parenting while I see negative ones with a bajillion notes.)

#unforth rambles #parenting #momblr #nothing prompted this #i just think about writing posts like this all the time #because the low-level background buzz of how much tumblr hates parents is a constant stressor tbh #and every once and a while i tip over the line end up Writing the Thing #and so here we are again #god i have so much to do today and instead i procrastinate with this #oops

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espinosaurusrexex · 11 months

Text

The Karens of the World

BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader modern au

summary: Aunt Karen is possibly the worst person you know. So when her annual Independence Day party arrives, you try to give her as little reason to pick on you as possible. Not being single for once should cover most of the topics she complains about. So you ask your friend Bucky to play pretend.

a/n: So I tried this website @nana1000night (make sure to check out their own chats) posted about and my ideas just started overflowing. I wrote this so quick, there may be some tenses errors, but the concept was so fun, I hope you like it.

word count: 4.1k

warnings: fake dating trope, grumpy!Bucky AND protective!Bucky, bullying, a Karen (this should say it all, really), self-doubt, body dysmorphia, mentions of violence, and sooooo much fluff!

･ﾟ✫* 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 ｡✭･ﾟ

↑ This movie altered my brain chemistry and also he looks so good OKAY BYE!

“Don’t do that. Don’t do that now, I really need your help,” you plead with a solid stare. But Bucky just broodily stares back at you with an unfazed expression. “Just answer the question, please.”

For a moment it seems as though he‘s squinting his eyes even more at you, trying to assess whether you are kidding or not. But you aren’t. You are in desperate need of help.

“Fine,” he finally breaks.

“Yes!” You exclaim before collecting yourself. “I mean: cool, cool... So, I’ll send you the details later and we can go from there.” You are a little nervous, but that’s what stressful situations do to you. And well, today definitely categorized as one.

“You’re a great friend, you know that, Buck? The best there is!” A desperate attempt to save the situation, but Bucky isn’t having it.

“Yeah, kid. Text me, do... whatever.” He huffs before he stands up to leave. You just wrinkle your nose at the little nickname he frequently calls you. It is stupid, but you don’t want him to call you ‘kid’. You would prefer it if he called you 'doll' or 'sweetheart' like he does all the other women. Hell, you’d even settle for your actual name, but he never calls you that.

You watch as he walks towards the door, but before he reaches it, he turns one more time just to send another annoyed look your way. Talk about being childish.

That was a week ago. And Bucky and you did, in fact, not ‘discuss the details later’. Bucky has merely stared at your messages, cursing himself for having agreed to the stupid plan you laid upon him. But he was committed to doing it anyway and the sooner it was over, the better.

You stare at your phone in silence, the simple text from Bucky making your stomach turn over and over.

I’ll be there.

He has written. And now there is no going back. Which is what you had planned, right? But Somehow, you are still nervous about the whole situation.

You stand in front of the mirror while tugging on the outfit you picked out for today. It is simple and light - perfect for a summer barbecue party. But you can’t help yourself when you look at your reflection. Your aunt Karen would have something mean to say about it anyway - she always does. And if it isn’t the lack of a partner (which is a problem you have temporarily solved for the day), it will be your body or your hair, or the way you speak, or the things you pursue in life. Karen is a textbook housewife, who has nothing to do all day but organize PTA meetings and condescend to everyone who doesn’t live up to her standards. And she has invited to her annual 4th of July party in her suburban family home in New Jersey. It wouldn’t bother you that much if meeting her wouldn’t always be connected to a huge amount of self-doubt and general mental chaos. It just bothers you that Karen makes you hate the parts about yourself you have never looked at critically before.

Your phone pings again - Bucky is here.

He just sits in the parking lot of your apartment building, his hands clenching the steering wheel tightly, and his eyes - as always - broodily staring ahead. He’s never done anything like this - He’s never pretended to be in an actual relationship. What if something goes wrong? What if they all see through this charade? Bucky wants to help you with your little ‘family problem’, as you have called it, but at the same time, he hates the situation he finds himself in because of it.

Bucky sits up straighter when he finally sees you running out of the door and towards his muddy truck. You look pretty, even if your hair is a little tousled from the small run you just did.

“Hey,” you greet with a smile after Bucky stares for a little too long. “Nice shirt.”

Bucky looks down on himself. He is wearing a striped short sleeve button-up that fits him very well, and you have to admit, that your eyes linger on the strip of skin revealed by the two undone buttons a little too long before they sway back to the window when you get inside his car. You feel your skin go up in flames at the thought of it again. Hopefully, this will all go well.

He isn't used to compliments, Bucky notes as he starts the car and backs out of the parking lot. This is just a courtesy; an easy greeting from a friend - no, actually his fake girlfriend for today - to loosen up the tension both of them feel. Bucky clears his throat while making a conscious effort to look away from the woman in his car, who makes him feel kind of... nervous all of a sudden.

The car ride is silent: no music, just the humming of the engine roaring in the background as you stare out the window and watch the trees pass by. Though when Bucky finally pulls into your aunt's neighborhood, you tense up and your hands become clammy - this feels like a really stupid idea all of a sudden.

Bucky parks the car on the street in front of your aunt’s huge house and looks at you. He raises an eyebrow upon noticing how timid you suddenly look.

Crap. Had this been your plan all along? To get him to agree to pose as your fake boyfriend, to have to face your terrible aunt?

Bucky swallows thickly when he takes in your state. “Do we really have to go in?” He asks still hopeful that you would just allow him to turn around again, but that obviously doesn’t happen.

“Unfortunately, we do.” You sigh after taking a deep breath to mentally prepare yourself. It shouldn’t be that hard, right? Just a little white lie to get you through the day. It will be over before you know it. “Thank you again for doing this Bucky, it really means a lot.” You smile one last time and then you get out of the car.

Bucky just watches as you walk towards the suburban home, impatiently waiting for him on the sidewalk where the driveway begins. He isn’t ready for this, but he had promised you.

❁ ❁ ❁

Your heart begins pumping in your chest when Bucky straightens up and takes your hand in his, the other hiding in his pocket. This is actually kinda nice. A squeeze of a hand then the ring of the doorbell. Two times.

“Oh, how wonderful you finally made it!” A slender woman with a blonde bob opens the door with a wide smile: Aunt Karen. “More than fashionably late, I see.” And then her eyes wander beside you where Bucky stands tall and steady with his hand still etched in yours. “Oh my, honey, is this the boyfriend you’ve been telling me about?”

Her eyes shine and for a moment it looks as though they were to pop out of her head from the way she’s gawking at Bucky. Okay, you get it, Bucky is good-looking. No need to think about breaking up your own marriage about it. Your roll your eyes before reminding yourself that you should restrain. The day has just started and you are ready to leave again.

Bucky looks at you uncomfortably, but your hand in his grounds him a little bit. He can’t make you deal with it alone anymore. He agreed to help you and this is - unfortunately - his mess as well now. God, he should remind himself to not be this stupid more often.

“Yes,” he swallows, “we are... uh... seeing each other.” Great job, that definitely didn’t sound forced. Bucky looks between you and your aunt for a moment, trying not to cringe at his own words.

You just send him an apologetic look before entering the house and let Karen pull you into a tight hug.

“Well, you have certainly gained little since the last time I saw you, I can barely fit my arms around you, honey,” Karen jokes but it hits deeper than that. “Must be that relationship weight, don’t we know it, huh?” Unbelievable, not even one minute in and she is already going at it.

You try to ignore the anxiety pooling up in your stomach as you watch Bucky squeeze aunt Karen’s hand a little too tightly. There’s nothing wrong with you, but these comments never cease to make you hate yourself a little bit.

Bucky smiles when he notices the discomfort on Karen's face after the handshake. She silently shakes her hand out and forces a bright smile, but he thinks the message came through. So, he decides against saying something just yet.

“Come on into the yard, the guests are all there!” The blonde woman rushes and leads you through the kitchen and out onto the porch from which you have a nice view of the party. There is a buffet set up, your uncle is at the grill, talking it up with his friends and the rest of the crowd is scattered across the lawn. Some people are playing corn hole and if the hostess weren’t such a pain in the ass, you could probably enjoy this party.

Luckily, Karen disappeared into the crowd once she greeted you, now there’s only Bucky and you.

“Thank God you’re here! I couldn’t stand talking to Grandpa Stan a minute longer. He’s all about his World War Two stories again.” An annoyed redhead approaches you from the side and your mood instantly lightens. You turn and see Tasha greet you with open arms and a playful smile. “You look nice!” She says upon seeing your expression and her smile quickly falters.

“Oh, no. What did she do this time?” She watches intensely, her hands squeezing your shoulders, but now that your cousin is here, there is no need to dwell in the state of depression Karen has put you in.

Bucky just stays silent as he watches you interact with the redhead. He’s trying to stay off to the side, as he doesn’t really know anyone very well. He’s not a social person, which was yet another reason why this whole thing had been a bad idea from the start, but now that he has seen why you needed a fake boyfriend, he is determined to honor his role for the day. He’d do anything to make Karen feel defeated and unsupported after what he has just witnessed. Because whether he likes it or not, you are his friend, and nobody messed with his friends like that.

A sense of protection overtakes him every time he sees Karen pass by close to the both of you, And Bucky has to restrain himself a couple too many times from laying his arm around you.

He watches people laughing and talking from afar, his face blank from expression, his hands in his pockets to keep himself from reaching out to you.

“Tasha this is Bucky.” You suddenly say and pull him closer, your arm remains around him and he is kind of glad that you officially give him permission to touch in this fake relationship. He blushes a little startled at the gesture anyway. He’s not used to it, but it's kind of nice.

“Bucky Barnes, right? Yeah, I’ve heard my mother talk about you.” Tasha says and Bucky just rolls his eyes. “And I see you’ve met her, too.” She laughs and Bucky knows she’s an ally. “I wish you good luck for today, our family is a menace.”

“Thanks.” Bucky looks over to Karen who is mingling with her guests and a wave of disgust overcomes him. “Hopefully she won’t ruin this holiday.”

“Oh, she will. You can count on it, actually. But with time you’ll learn to deal with it. We have Karen bingo cards at every event to cross off things she does or says. It’s fun if you make it fun. Don’t let her antics bother you too much. The suburbs are the only place she has something to say and she holds on to it for dear life... I pity her most of the time.” Tasha rambles on and on and Bucky takes a liking to her with every word. He smiles and so do you.

“Anyway, I gotta get Grandpa a beer but feel free to mingle, and,” Tasha turns to you as she grabs your hand for a brief moment, her eyes staring into yours intently. “Come find me if she gets too much, okay?”

You just nod at your cousin. Tasha is amazing and she always manages to calm you down after yet another unpleasant encounter with your aunt. God knows why she was cursed with such a pain of a mother, but Tasha makes the best out of it.

Bucky smiles and looks at Tasha walking away. He seems to have already relaxed with her somewhat, so he tries to take her advice and ignore Karen’s antics. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

❁ ❁ ❁

It's about 30 minutes later when you are off to talk to some other family members who haven’t seen you in a while and Bucky has decided to check out the buffet. He eats in silence, his gaze swaying over the yard - people watching. He finds comfort in it every now and then. But unfortunately, his peace isn’t lasting long.

“So Bucky, tell me. How did you and my niece meet?” Karen appears next to him and holds out a bottle of beer to him.

Bucky is a little startled but he swallows his hot dog and uses the time to come up with a story. What would you want him to say? Some romantic crap, probably, but Bucky would much rather tell her that you met at a burn-all-Karens petition downtown. Still, he can’t completely ignore his intrusive thoughts, so he simply takes the bottle and answers with a straight face as he watches Karen's expression falter.

“In prison.” Hopefully, this would shut her up.

"Oh? You are a prison guard?” She asks with intrigue, adamant that he is still the glorious man she makes him out to be, and Bucky just sends her a knowing smile.

“Something like that.”

The blonde bob shakes in his peripheral. “Well, it was only a matter of time until she would end up there.” Karen shrugs but Bucky feels anger bubbling inside him.

“What do you even mean by that?” It becomes harder to control himself now.

Your eyes move over to Bucky as you let your relative’s speech about the perfect lawn mower pass by you in a breeze. He looks slightly irritated and uncomfortable, his shoulders are tense but he’s holding up well, and Karen doesn’t seem to suspect anything. Of course she doesn’t, though, she is shallow.

“I just can't seem to believe that an attractive and interesting man such as yourself would settle for someone so... bland.” And just like that, snobbish middle-aged white women made it to the top of his blacklist.

Karen sips on her cocktail with a winning smile, she must have known how insecure she could make you with the confidence that radiated off of her right now.

The paper plate in Bucky’s hand crumbles at her words. His anger is clearly written on his features, turning solid by the second. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

It just bursts out of him, he can’t stop it - it just feels right. How dare this bitch call you boring? You of all people and not him? The anger crawls up his neck with every second he has to spend close to your aunt and at one point he can’t take it anymore.

“Bingo!” Someone yells from the back of the yard, but Bucky just looks at Karen with his death stare.

“Your niece is the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. She’s smart and kind and courageous and so unbelievably goodhearted. You don’t know how lucky you are to have her in your life. And yet all you do is patronize her. The fact that you don’t see that is seriously pathetic. You are a grown woman, for god’s sake. I highly recommend that you fix your attitude or I won’t be responsible for what happens next,” he sneers into Karen's flabbergasted face.

The whole party has gone quiet. People have stopped talking and are all turned to look at the disturbance with the potential to bring far more entertainment than anything else that they’re doing.

You decide to intervene before something else happens. You rush towards Bucky after excusing yourself and drag him out of the yard with a solid ‘Can I talk to you, babe?’. Bucky just glares at Karen for good measure before he lets himself be led away by you. He’s tense, with his hands clenching in fists, he looks like he’s ready to strangle your aunt - as if there is a lot more at play than your feelings in his response to her.

“I swear... that woman...” He grumbles with vicious eyes, he grinds his teeth in frustration and the muscles in his jaw pop a little.

“I know, but... well, that’s just how she is.”

“How have you gone this long without knocking her over with a bat?” You need to refrain from laughing out loud at Bucky’s comment.

“I can’t change it. Punching her won’t help. But, hey,” you push a white paper into his hand and upon short inspection, he realizes it’s a bingo card. “We can make fun of it. New round just started.”

You hug him and push a quick kiss to his cheek before you step back and let him calm down a bit. Bucky has to smile at the card in his hand and he looks down to hide the small blush creeping over the heated spot on his cheek. His hand covers the place you kissed and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. When did he start feeling this way?

“Come on now. I want you to meet my Grandpa. I think you’ll get along well.”

❁ ❁ ❁

“Meet Stan, my grandfather.” You say once you reach the small circle of people that gathered around your grandfather.

“Pleased to meet you, sir. My name’s Bucky Barnes.” You watch them shake hands and Stan’s eyes brighten at the additional listener.

“Pleasure to meet you, young man. Grab yourself a beer and sit down I was just about to tell the story of how a grenade ended up going off right next to me.”

You exchange a short look with Tasha who has heard the story about as often as you have before, but when your eyes sway to Bucky, you notice the intrigue in his body language. He scrambles to sit down close to Stan with his hands folded over his knees.

“You’re telling me that you survived a grenade? A literal grenade?” Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up and it's like watching a child on Christmas Day. “You’re either tough as nails or incredibly lucky, sir.”

So, hooking Bucky up with your grandpa was a great success. He seemed to be the first person that was actually interested in Stan’s stories from the war. And while you had to not worry about Karen steering up more arguments with Bucky anymore, you watch him interact with the rest of your family with awe.

The day passes by and Bucky seems to catch a conversation with Stan every now and then. He’s interested in history and your grandfather seems like the perfect source for the answers he’s been seeking. But when the moon rises and the fireworks have died down, you decide it's time to go home.

Bucky is talking to your grandfather again when you approach him from behind. In a weird shoot of confidence, you wrap your arms around him and place a gentle kiss on his shoulder.

“Are you ready to go home?” You’re a little nervous but you don’t pull away, and Bucky is strangely content with the amount of physical contact he’s gotten today. Still, he tries to stuff the weird feelings in his chest away when he turns in your arms.

“Yeah,” he looks at you with soft eyes, “I think I’m ready to go home.” But you can’t help but think that his statement holds a little more than the answer to your question.

❁ ❁ ❁

You smile when Bucky opens the car door for you. You didn’t expect it, and it almost looks as if Bucky didn’t expect it either, but you’re not complaining. He starts the car in silence but this time, there is faint music coming from the radio. The street lights pass by the window as you look out until your apartment complex comes into view.

Once the car is parked again, you turn around to Bucky. He makes no effort to move and it doesn’t bother you at all. It’s nice in the car. Cool from the AC and Bucky’s presence is a pleasant addition to the calm the car ride home has brought to you.

“Thank you for coming with me today. I know it wasn’t exactly what you expected and I am so sorry for my family. They are a lot... I just...” You fumble with your fingers before looking back up at him again. “I don’t think I would have survived this party without you. It really means a lot.” You finally finish and it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Bucky is quiet for a while, thinking about what you have just said. He feels weird thinking about how many of these family gatherings you had to endure without anyone stepping up for you before, and he has the strong urge to just cradle you in his arms and protect you from all the Karens of the world - let nothing ever touch you like that again. He had seen your heart break a little today and he didn’t like it at all.

His eyes avert from the windshield when he turns to you and gazes into your eyes intently. There’s a lot going on in them, but it all radiates comfort to you. And then, almost like a button has been pushed, he grabs your chin and pulls you closer, his hand running down your cheek. There’s a moment of complete standstill. Everything is zeroing in on him and then, after a beat or two, he pulls you into him and kisses you.

It's short and it's sweet but it holds more feelings than you have ever gotten from a kiss. When he pulls back, his eyes just run over your face. He doesn’t know what just happened and neither do you. It’s like a wild dream - a good one.

“What... what was that for?” Your whisper barely reaches his ears and Bucky struggles to construct a proper sentence with the way your eyes lock with his in awe.

“I... It’s... I just... couldn’t help myself,” he confesses while still shaking out of his trance. Uh oh. What if this was a mistake?

He attempts to pull away reluctantly, but you stop him. “No, no it’s fine,” you grab his hand and place it back on your face, “do it again, please.”

Bucky’s breath staggers when you say that and for a moment, he freezes completely. Is this really happening? And how is he feeling like this when he didn’t even see you this way when this day started?

The grip on his wrist is gentle, but he’s glued to you. Everything, every sense of his is pulled in your direction until you completely consume him. And he lets it happen. You haul him onto another kiss and this one is even better - more passionate, more... just more. He can’t get enough of you and he wonders how he has gone so long without it - this feeling of flying when you touch him.

Your hand grabs his shoulder and your fingers push into his tender muscles. It feels good, though and Bucky strives to have you even closer. The warmth is all-consuming but he doesn’t mind in the slightest, that the night outside his car is a hundred degrees or that just an hour ago this was all pretend. It certainly isn’t anymore.

“I really like you, Bucky. I hope my family didn’t chase you away. I know that they can be a handful sometimes, but you handled them so well and-“

“Doll,” Bucky stops you and your heart skips at the nickname. His eyes are shining in the dim light falling through the windshield, but you can still see every speck of grey in the deep blue. He’s trying to convey how he feels, but he believes it’s not enough. His nose nudges yours and then he whispers softly: “I really like you, too.”

Wanna be added to the taglist?

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blingblong55 · 1 year

Text

The A Team - 141 + König

This is based on a request:

Warnings: mentions of Self Harm, Depression, blood, Suicide, (i have linked websites that can help you in times like this.)

MDNI, 18+, no smut i just feel the need for no minors to read shit like this.

————

It has been the worst of weeks. Your mental health has been getting worse and worse. You lost interest in all of your favorite things, you even started to get tired of pretending. But oh you tried. All of the things you used to love have now turned into something bitter. The team, they’ve known about your mental health, now, in most cases the military would’ve discharged you, but Price, he kept it a secret, knows this is your only escape from your dark thoughts.

Around 1 am, your mind turned for worst. All of your own demons crawled out, picking at you. Your weak self laying on the floor, feeling so numb to the tears and heartache you caused yourself. You cried and cried, at some point you knew it was time to finally give in and hurt yourself. You got up from the floor and walked to the door, you locked it, blocking the door and grabbed the knife Ghost gave you as a present.

You cut deep, the blade leaving red trails. And for the first time, you felt something good, smiling as this new pain gave you some pleasure. Blood started to spill out of your body. Staining the ground. And then, grief came by. Who would they talk to? Would they blame themselves? So you reached for your phone and send them a text through the group chat. “Thanks for everything, I love you all. Goodnight.”

You dropped your phone as the loss of blood made your body weak. And you just sat against the wall, looking at your own mess, slowly watching your skin loose life.

The men receive this text, at first clueless, then Price ran into the common room. “Where are they?!” The men all looked at each other, “their room..shit..their room!” They all ran, almost pushing each other down. They knocked and knocked. You were too lost to even hear them. How desperate they were. How they pleaded you through the door. In their years of training, nothing, ever lead them to this. How could they managed this? How could they ever fucking fix this? “Please, c’mon kid, please, open the damn door.” You just looked at it, your body feeling numb. Tears streamed down your face. Oh god, what did you do? Ghost and König kicked the door, after much fight that is. Soap and Price saw you first. Gaz, gosh he was the most destroyed at this image. He couldn’t get another look at you. Price was frozen, like time had stopped for him. Soap was on his knees, he never knew he’d see you here. Always pictured your end differently. Maybe in a few more decades, with grandkids, telling them the badass he was as a teammate. Ghost acted first, his cradled your fragile body in his arms. Poor König, he tried to stop the bleeding, but he couldn’t, the cuts were too deep. How could they ever explain this to the higher ups? ”please, please, please.” Ghost cried for the first time since his own family was taken from him. “Please don’t leave me.” His voice broke down, leaving him nude to his emotions. He was a mess, all through the room, his cries could be heard. And you? You couldn’t stop him, but just listen as he poured his ever last bit of soul into those cries. Price pushed ghost away, he ran with you in his arms to the medical center at base. A bloody Ghost trailed behind. Gaz, König and Soap stayed behind. No one said a word. Soap nudged at König’s arm. They both went to hug Gaz, who by some point was on the floor, curled into a ball, his own tears choking him. “No, no no” he cried, not being able to accept that this was the way you wanted to leave..him..them.. all of them. “C’mon Gaz, we have to clean up.” Soap said, his head nuzzled with Gaz’s shoulder. Letting himself too, break down. König, he couldn’t take another look at the mess. In all his career with the military, not once was he afraid of death, or others blood as he saw it splattered on floors. But tonight, he was afraid, it was as if he was 8 all over again. He was eating lunch when a bully came up to him, pushing him, and poor König, cried. Wept for his mum, wanting to be cuddled until the tears stopped.

Yes he was a tall man, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have feelings. You after all, had been the one to accept him as he came. All of his scars, his problems. That was you, the one who loved them all even after all the storm. You who loved too hard and fought too fast for them. The one that made empty cold base’s feel like home for them.

———

“Merry Christmas!” You exclaimed one morning, after waking up and placing an entire christmas tree at the center of base. Gifts everywhere, comfortable pj’s and a warm breakfast. ———

“Hey ghost, watch me,” “Are you watching me ghost?”

“yes r/n” he acted annoyed, but deep down, he loved it. Loved how you annoyed him like his brother once did.

———

“Dont you fucking touch my friend here!”

“You didn’t have to defend me r/n”

“But..König…i…what they said was mean..”

“I know, and that’s okay, people have their own opinions”

“Not with me”

You chased the rude soldiers around base that day.

———

“Come on in”

Gaz stepped inside, he had a nightmare. You had been his safe place every night this happened.

“Thanks” his voice so soft and gentle

“Anytime.” You two laid in bed. You cuddled him, watching and protecting him as he slept.

———

“Look price..I’m you!” ”so it appears”

“Hahahahha!!…dont fooking touch me cigar yeah?” You laughed so hard, a fake cigar in your mouth nearly choked you.

It was now a picture of you and him, dressed the same as his phone wallpaper and the small picture he carries in his wallet.

———

“SCOTLAND FOREVER!”

You exclaimed as soap carried you on his back around base. You and him dressed with kilt’s. All morning Ghost chased you two.

“Fuck ya king ye?!”

“Oh you fucks.”

“Run soap..run!!”

———

It’s incredible to think they had a million more memories with you. And all slowly dying with you. Price and Ghost slept in your hospital room. Nurses coming in almost every hour. They barely got any sleep. Taking turns as they watched over you. Crying and awkwardly staring at each other as they did this.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

—————————————————————

If you ever feel su!cidal, depressed or need someone to talk to, just know i am here. And i fucking mean it, you talk to me alright?!

Help is available:

UK: 116 123 , 0808 164 0123 OR TEXT : (text “SHOUT”) to 85258 (everyone)

(Under 19) Text “YM” to 85258

Canada: 1.833.456.4566. OR TEXT 45645

USA: 988

—————————

A/N: I know this is a super heavy topic..but nonetheless..here ya go..i guess.

Tags: @g4y-gr3ml1n

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stellaralignment · 4 months

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After reading @kira-serialfaggot 's post about inaccessible menus and @butterfly-sapphire post about non-customizable menus figured I now had sufficient excuse to rant about how I hate how every big restaurant's ""solution"" to these two problems is somehow always the worst fucking app I've ever had to use in my life.

So, to clarify real quick. I agree with both previous posts. Places that serve food should have their menu easily accessible somewhere if they have an online presence, and places that let you customize your order need to have that as a feature of any digital ordering solution they implement. Good? Good.

So, a lot of places I've seen (Wendys, Taco Bell, and McDonald to name a few) Have tried to get around how fucking horrible the DD app itself is by making their own apps with DD integration for the actual ordering/serving of delivery orders. Great, this lets them provide their own menu customization options, serve discounts/coupons, and generally have more control over the user experience. Fantastic. As a bonus, this usually also allows you to just look at the menu whenever you want.

Small issue. All of these apps were written by the worst fucking programmers I have ever witnessed in my life. I havn't gotten angry enough to de-compile or try to reverse engineer one yet, but my user experience has been so consistently bad and I've encountered issues that, as a software engineer, I honestly could not tell you how fucked their system has to be in order to allow that to happen.

Allow me to tell you the worst of these. I'm trying to order delivery from a store. It's late, like 7pm, but I know the place is open till 10. I can confirm this on their website (I do later for reasons that will become apparent) and google maps. So I punch in my address, make my order, and go to checkout. Unfortunately, the app tells me "Your payment method failed. Please select a new method and try again". Which was odd, but not unimaginable. I've had issues with my bank in the past. So I swap cards and try again, thinking nothing of it.

Except, my other card doesn't work either. Nor does using PayPal, or Google Pay, or any of the other payment options I tried. I'm getting desperate. I buy some games on steam just to make sure some of these are working, which they are. I was worried, but now that I've confirmed all my money hasn't been siphoned away somehow, I'm just confused and getting annoyed.

So I start going insane. I buy digital gift cards from several different sites and try using them. No dice, payment failed. I try using the website instead of the app, on my phone and PC. Payment failed. I boot up an android studio instance with a brand new virtual phone, install the app on it, and try to order. Again. Payment failed.

I'm starting to wonder if their servers are just completely down. A friend in a different state can order with no problems. A friend in the same town can order with no fanfare.

But my roommates can't. They have the same issue

Payment failed.

So. I'm going insane. I've now spent almost 3 hours attempting to order food, and I'm starving. It is at this point that my anger finally overcomes my social anxiety, and I do the one thing I never thought I'd do.

I call the store in question.

Now, in all of this there was one crucial mistake I made. See, that friend in the same town? Lived on the other side of town. And there's 2 different stores of this franchise in town. We didn't control for this, because the app doesn't let you pick a store anyways when doing delivery. It's hard locked to whatever one is closest, which isn't a terrible thing to do. You need to get the delivery address anyways, and you know where all your store are, so it cuts out a step for me. But having to choose a store might've clued us in to what was going wrong.

Because the store? Was closed. Not just closed, like mega closed. It was being shut down. It hadn't been open for two weeks, and would never be open again. The order was failing because they'd already taken all the computer systems out, and it couldn't confirm to have received the order.

So there was nothing wrong with the payment. Literally nothing I could have done about this. I am just barred completely from ordering because the app defaults to the nearest location for orders, and my nearest location didn't exist anymore.

And you'd think that there would be some way to communicate this to the user when making the app. But for reasons I can only assume are profit motivated (Though I have no idea how the fuck this is more efficient/profitable), the app just defaults to saying the payment failed.

Now, I wouldn't be this mad if this was just "oops edge case lol" where I suffered the unfortunate consequences of some procrastinator forgetting to do the thing that removes stores from the database. Unfortunate but not really anyone I can blame for it. But no. This is just the most extreme example, and it's not even confined to the one app.

Almost every single app like this I've used defaults to saying the payment failed and to try a new payment method when anything goes wrong. No drivers out on DoorDash to actually move the order? Payment failed. You're trying to order a seasonal item that got dropped today? Payment failed. The companies servers actually are down? Payment failed. You're not connected to wi-fi like an idiot and there's actually something you can do to fix the issue that's not related to payment whatsoever? Payment failed.

What the fuck is up with this lazy ass programming? I seriously doubt there's enough technical debt from these apps to justify not having a robust error catching system that communicates with the user what the issue is. By the fucking stars these people love collecting intrusive data, I'm surprised they havn't used this as an excuse to harvest everyone's fucking location at all times and send "error data" back to central.

But just don't tell me my debit card was declined when I'm trying to order a burger and you closed that store two weeks ago.

#journal #rant #i fucking hate food delivery apps #but i'm a poor bitch with no car #and I lived for 3 months off of a BOGO burger coupon once that just never fucking removed itself from my cart even after I ordered #so I continued to cash in on that one coupon for an entire semester #so like don't fix your apps #but don't tell me my fucking bank is broken when you just can't be bothered to update your fuckin store database

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daddyy333 · 1 year

Text

Worthy | Lo’ak x Metkayina Reader

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

word count: 5.6k

warnings: uhh reader and lo’ak are pretty sad without each other, reader says “wouldn’t be the worst thing” when lo’ak says the people believe she is dead, ?

anything in bold like this in the middle of a sentence means it’s either Na’vi or meant to be in Na’vi but I don’t trust the translation websites so I just use the few words I know and make do with it💀

summary: Lo’ak’s parents don’t approve of your relationship and it makes you question if you’re worthy of Lo’ak’s love

“Ma sempul…Ma sa’nok?” He asked as he came into the marui. By now, the Sully family had been a part of the Metkayina clan for a year and had become very well acquainted with many of the clan and were getting used to life as reef people.

“Yes, Lo’ak?” Neytiri said and looked up at him. He cleared his throat and said “oel ngati kameie” while gesturing to them. Neytiri and Jake smiled and responded the same.

“I have someone I’d like you to meet…You have been pressuring me since I completed iknimaya to choose a woman…and I have chosen” he said and their eyes widened. They did not want him to choose a Metkayina woman, the goal was to be able to go back to the Omaticaya one day.

“She is Metkayina?” Neytiri asked and Lo’ak nodded softly, pulling you into the marui. You waved softly and looked down, really nervous. Neytiri sighed and said “you cannot mate with a Metkayina woman. Is she even a good hunter? I’ve never even heard of her. Is she even worthy of your love? What is her name?”

“Y/n te Ayeykí Eyati’ite” he said proudly, holding your hand and caressing it softly. Tears quickly filled in your eyes, you tried to stop seeing him because you knew neither of your parents would ever allow you to be together but he just kept insisting, and you were head over heels for the forest boy.

“Does she know the first thing about healing? What if something were to happen, may the great mother never allow it, and you were the one to become the next Olo’eyktan? She would become Tsahìk, Lo’ak this is a major responsibility. You cannot just pick any girl. She is not worthy of being our Tsahìk” Jake said and Lo’ak scoffed.

He shook his head and said “you are being such hypocrites! Dad was just an avatar and you mated with him. And y/n is no ordinary girl. She’s the best hunter I’ve seen, and you don’t even know how many times she's been there to heal me when grandmother was not there? She is so kind, you don’t understand. You won’t even give her a chance? She takes care of me and loves me so much. She is a beautiful woman and a beautiful person, she’s the best woman for me”

“Lo’ak it’s fine…I-I’ll just go, okay? I won’t t-talk to your son anymore I’m s-sorry-” you said and tried to pull away but he stopped you. You let out a shaky breath, pleading with your eyes for him to let you go. He shook his head and said “I will mate with this woman, and she will be my wife and there is nothing you can do about it. I love her so much, and I know Eywa put her in my life for a reason. She will be your daughter in law and she will be my mate. I do not care what you think!”

“Lo’ak do not disobey your parents…maybe there is someone better for you. You deserve the best,” you said, pulling away from him. He tried to grab you again and you shook your head and said “ma Lo’ak…this was never going to work. I will miss you so much, but you are destined for great things. You are Toruk Makto’s son, it’s important you live up to that. I’ll…I’ll see you around”

You smiled a little and left, wiping your tears away. He scoffed and said “how could you do this?! Neteyam is very in love with Tsireya, we all see it and you don’t even care! Why is it that everything I do is wrong in your eyes?! The last thing I want is a life without her”

“Lo’ak, we will go back to the Omaticaya eventually and you will choose a woman then. Neteyam as well,” Neytiri said and he shook his head. He felt the tears fall down his face as he said “I know if Neteyam came to you and said he’d chosen Tsireya as his mate you would support him but you two just hate everything I do. I never do anything right, and every time I’m happy somehow it gets destroyed. I- I loved her! She saw me, and I saw her. We truly saw each other, I’ve never felt so connected to someone. Please, just let me have this one thing”

“Lo’ak, no one has ever mated outside their clan, we don't know what could happen. What will happen when she becomes pregnant? Think of how hard the child’s life would be with a Metkayina’s tail and Omaticaya arms? You think Ao’nung makes fun of you, he’ll make your child cry because of his different it looks” he said and Lo’ak wiped his tears.

Neytiri took a deep breath and said “my child…” “no…no, leave me alone,” Lo’ak said, backing up. He couldn’t imagine a life without you. He wasn’t living until he met you, just simply existing. You make life so much more worth living.

“I…I cannot believe you. She makes me so happy, far happier than I’ve ever been trying to be another Neteyam for you. All you see me as is a soldier, just some warrior to train. I still have wants and needs, and I need to be with her!” He said and Neytiri sighed softly. He shook his head and left, wiping his tears away harshly.

“Lo’ak!” Neytiri said and he yanked his arm from her grip. She looked down and took a deep breath. Jake sighed and said “he really wants to be with her…what’s the worst that could happen? So what if their children look different? Everyone thinks our children have “demon blood”. They’re unique, that’s all. Lo’ak’s children would also look a little different as well,”

“He needs to mate with an Omaticaya woman. There’s too much uncertainty if he mates with a Metkayina woman” she said and Jake shook his head.

Meanwhile, you had gone missing. No one in the clan knew where you were, a younger Metkayina saw you get on your ilu and leave without a word. Eyati, your mother, was terrified. Mawu, your father, wore a similar look as he held his mate, comforting her.

“Why would she just leave?!” Eyati cried, shaking her head. Mawu placed his hands on her growing stomach, trying to calm her down. He kissed her head and said “do not stress, Eyati. It is not good for the baby, and our daughter will be back, she wouldn’t just leave the clan like that without a word. She just needs time,”

“I am so sorr-” Lo’ak said and Be’yati, your older brother, scoffed. He pushed him and Lo’ak nearly fell, but he didn’t even care to defend himself. He didn’t care what happened to him, if he joined Eywa tomorrow then so be it. Without you, he didn’t care much for his life.

“Stop it! It is not his fault! She chose to run off. Everyone…keep an eye out and I want to know when she comes back as soon as one of you see’s her, you tell me. Even if you’re not sure. My daughter will come home, I’m sure of it” Mawu said and everyone nodded.

Lo’ak shook his head and went to a more secluded part of the island, a place you two used to go to a lot. It had so many pretty flowers, and there were a few trees and it was a little more grassy than sandy. It reminds him of the Omaticaya’s forest and hometree.

You told him how happy you were that he still felt like he had a little piece of his home with him. You caressed his hands as he told you stories of his childhood and what it was like in the forest. How beautiful it was there. How he wants to take you one day.

You and your ilu had gone to an island pretty far away, you discovered it when your parents first started letting you go on your own and have gone there many times since. You’ve even brought Lo’ak there, but only twice in the time they’d been there so he probably wouldn’t be able to find you.

You were missing for 5 days before you decided it was time to come back, you knew you were stressing your mother and didn’t want to harm her or your unborn sibling. But in those 5 days, Lo’ak was really starting to lose himself. He didn’t leave the marui unless absolutely necessary, and he was barely eating which concerned Neytiri and Jake and the kids, Kiri especially.

Tuk would try to play with him and he would just sit there, too overwhelmed with thoughts of you. Your eyes, the beautiful blue-green hue they had. Your smile, and your soft lips that kissed his temple when he was stressed or upset. Your hands, how skilled they were. How they would expertly make the perfect pastes or powders or drinks that healed him when he was injured or feeling ill. How they braided his hair to perfection when it was getting grown out. How they massaged his sore muscles after a long day of hunting for food or playing with the younger members of the clan, or swimming with Payakan.

You were so kind too, so generous. You almost always had a small child wanting to sit with you at dinner time, and whenever someone asked, no matter who, you’d give them some of your food. You helped the little ones learn to swim better, teach the hunters in training how to aim a little better. Any time someone even had the slightest scratch, you were quick to clean it and make something to heal it taster. You always helped when you could and where you could, he wondered if you even made time for yourself at all.

He missed you so much. He just wanted to see you again, hear your voice, feel your skin on his as he hugged you again. He could barely function a few days without you, what if you never came back?

Tsireya eventually visited him and nearly dragged him out of his marui. She brought him to play on the shore, just to hopefully lift his spirits a little. However, no one realized you were coming in on your ilu as you were pretty far away and most were on another part of the island preparing for dinner.

You saw her hugging him and them laughing together. You instantly stopped, watching for a few minutes. She splashed him with water and he tackled her softly, splashing her like crazy. It’s the first time he’d even smiled since you left, but you didn’t know that.

To you, it seemed like he had moved on. Maybe his parents just didn’t like you. Jake came over with a smile, trying to seperate the two and getting splashed a little. They splashed him back and he picked Lo’ak up and threw him over shoulder, grabbing Tsireya’s hand and bringing them to the rest of the clan so they could eat.

You blinked some tears away and turned around heading back to the island. 3 weeks of not having you in his life passed. Tonowari and a few others went out searching for you a few times but were unsuccessful. You mother and father were getting worried, and your father was especially worried this would complicate the birth of their newest child.

It finally clicked for Lo’ak, you had to be at that island. He immediately ran out of the marui, calling his ilu. Jake and Neytiri tried to stop him but he was already too far away. He’d never found it so fast, especially since he was still truly getting the hang of riding a marui but he was there in a matter of minutes.

He swam to the area you always did, climbing up using rocks that seemed almost perfectly placed for someone to climb up. It was a short climb, the island was a bit above water and before he knew it there you were.

You were sleeping at the moment, but there was a rock which looked to be a makeshift plate with fish on it, and noticed a little area with a now burnt out fire a few feet away, probably where you cooked your food. There was a small bag, probably your belongings you took with you. He noticed your ilu swimming around the neighboring islands that were also small and empty.

“Sweetheart?” He asked, carefully approaching you. He shook you slightly and you immediately jumped up, pushing him away as you took a defensive position, pulling your knife out and hissing at him. He put his hands up and said “woah, woah woah just me” He smiled, god that stupid smile.

You hated him. Well, you wanted to. And you did, barely, because he made you fall in love with him. With his stupid face and his stupid smile and his stupid person. You’d always love Lo’ak more than you could ever hate him.

“Even worse,” you said mostly sarcastically, sarcastic remarks being something you’d picked up from him in the first place. You put your knife away and sat back on the makeshift bed, not wanting to look at him.

“Go away, Lo’ak. You cannot be with me, I’m not going to go against your parents” you said and ran your fingers over the dirt and moss and rocks in front of you. He sighed and said “y/n, you need to come home. You’re stressing your mother, she needs to be calm especially because she is growing the little sister you want so bad,”

“We don’t know that” you mumbled and he continued. “Your father is struggling just as much. You need to come back home, and help everyone stop worrying so much” he said and you shook your head.

Tears filled your eyes as you said “I cannot go back home and have to see you every day, Lo’ak. It…it makes me so sad. And we cannot be together, even if we want to because your mother is right. I am not worthy of being a Tsahík. You need a girl who is…who is mighty. Who is strong, who is skilled and- and you- you deserve better than me, Lo’ak. Please, go away”

“It makes me sad as well, but you cannot stay here the rest of your life. And I don’t care what my mother says, you would be the best Tsahík the Na’vi has seen. Eywa made you special, y/n. You are meant to be a Tsahík. Screw what I think, everyone misses you, not just me, and all of the people are praying to Eywa constantly for your safe return. They are worried for your safety, many believe you are dead” he said and a new wave of tears hit you.

You sniffled and said “wouldn’t be the worst thing” He gasped slightly, shaking his head. He sat in front of you and said “no, no hey do not say that! Please, do not say that! Y/n, your life means so much to everyone in the clan, please do not say those things. If seeing me makes you feel uncomfortable then…then I will go, okay? Awa’atlu is your home, not mine”

“No, no one goes I- ugh, just go away” you said and stood up, remembering when you saw him with Tsireya. What you didn’t know, was that Kiri followed Lo’ak on her Ikran and now her, Neteyam, Jake, and Neytiri were hiding in some trees on their Ikran’s. They’d been listening the whole time.

He stood up, trying to say something else but just grunts and groans coming out. You scoffed and said “you’re like a baby. Making noises, don’t listen. Go back!” “Y/n-” he said and you shoved him. You wiped your tears and said “No! Go back. Go back to your family, go back to the people, go back to Tsireya! Go!”

“Tsireya?” He asked and you shook your head. You sighed as you said “I was going to come back some time ago. But…I saw you with Tsireya. You were playing in the water and…you seemed happy without me. So I left you be. You shouldn’t be falling in love with Metkayina women, but obviously if you’re so happy with her you don’t need me”

“No- n- Tsireya is just…she was just trying to cheer me up, I- I want you, y/n. You make me happy. You make life feel like it’s worth living. Not her. Please, please come home. You’ll never have to see my stupid face again,” he said and you groaned.

You pushed him away as he got too close as you said “you are stupid. Stay away from me and let me be!” “Y/n-” he said before you both stopped, Atokirina came over to you. A few of them landed on you, and then moved to Lo’ak and then they left.

You gasped, watching as they flew away. “Eywa…” you said softly and sighed. You called your Ilu, diving into the water and riding back home as fast as you could. Lo’ak sighed and took a deep breath, diving under and following you home.

You ran to your mother and father’s marui and knew that’s what Eywa was telling you, you found your father comforting your mother as she clung onto him, face scrunched up in pain. “Ma sa’nok!” You said, running over, cupping her cheek. Her eyes widened as she continued taking the deep breaths your father guided her to take, grabbing your arm.

“Y/n,” she sighed, smiling slightly. As soon as the pain passed, she hugged you and your father wrapped you in a bear hug. “I’m so sorry, Mother, I’m so sorry” you said and she shushed you, smoothing your frizzy, grown out braids back.

“You make it up to me by helping me through this. Hurts just as much as when I had you. My beautiful girl,” she said and kissed your cheek. You looked up at your dad and he said “come, my loves, we must tell the clan. Your mother would like everyone to pray for her and the baby”

You helped her out of the marui and everyone congratulated her on the nearing arrival of her second child, and playfully scolded you for leaving for so long. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Lo’ak watching you. The little kids were swarming you, all begging to be held and told about where you were.

You took a deep breath and he gave you a soft smile. You blinked a few times and bent down, hugging all the little ones and promising you’d never ever leave again. Eventually, you need to go back to the marui to help your mother but you promised you would spend as much time as you could with them when you were able to.

Your mother spent the entire night and most of the next day bearing the pain of childbirth, before your father delivered your baby sister as your mother screamed and squeezed your hand. You were so happy, hugging your mother tight as your father kissed her cheek, laying the whimpering baby on her chest.

She was a little small, but still perfect. She cooed and gurgled, looking up at you and your mother. Eyati connected her kuru to the baby’s and she instantly made a louder coo, reaching up for your mothers face. You smiled and said “she’s perfect, ma sa’nok”

“I’m so glad I have both my girls with me now…please don’t ever leave again, maite” she said and you smiled. You kissed her temple and said “I will not, ma sa’nok. I made a promise to Eywa, and asked her to please make sure I never even think of leaving you and my sweet little sister again”

She smiled and you both looked down at the new baby. You and your father took care of your mother and the new baby for a few hours before they decided on a name for her, Khädina. It was perfect for your precious baby sister.

You spent a few hours with her while your mother slept, and Lo’ak came to visit you. You looked up at him and rolled your eyes. “Go away. This is a happy time for me and my family and I do not want to see you right now” you said and he took a deep breath.

You caressed Khädina’s cheek and he said “I just wanted to say congratulations. I know you’ve always wanted a sibling, especially a sister. I- I brought something to eat. And some for your mother as well. Tell her I saw congratulations. She made two very beautiful girls, she deserves a lot more”

You smiled softly, thanking him. He said hello to the baby and left you alone, but you could stop thinking about him. You kissed Khädina’s head and said “what do you think, tsmuke? What should I do? I…as much as I wish I didn’t…I see him. I see all of him and I just…I am- I can’t stand to be away from him. As the humans say, I love him. He is…not perfect, at least in others eyes. But to me he’s amazing, and he’s special. He’s not like the other Na’vi. He’s adventurous and he likes to explore and do the things he wants even when it gets him in trouble. His father gets upset at him for that,”

You giggled, thinking about the memories of him being scolded by Jake. She cooed and you said “He…He chose me as his mate. But, he is Omaticaya and I, as well as you, are Metkayina and it’s not very common for different clans to mate. He is forest people, we are reef people. It could be hard for us to have children one day, it could be hard on those children. There’s no telling what they’ll be like, no one’s ever done this before. Even so, I still want to be with him. I believe Eywa was trying to warn me about your arrival yesterday, but I think she was also telling me something about me and Lo’ak. I’m not sure what yet, though. I think I must visit the Spirit tree and ask her what she was trying to tell me. Our great mother knows all, Khädina. She will guide me on the right path, she will show me what is best. I do…I hope that he is what’s best. I would really like to be with him. He’s very handsome don’t you think? And he’s so kind. I…I was very mean to him earlier. I was upset. But, he still comes to see you and be here for me, because he knows how happy I was about getting to meet you. He is nice that way. He sees all of the people the best he can, and he cares for them, even when it seems like he doesn’t, even when they hurt him. He cares for everyone. Even if he doesn’t know it. I just hope the great mother is able to tell me he is best for me”

Khädina yawned and you chuckled. You wiped away the few tears that slipped and said “I’m sorry, little one, have I made you tired? I’m sure all the work Ma sa’nok did to bring you into the world probably exhausted you too” Eyati chuckled at that and you looked over, smiling.

“Ma sa’nok. How are you?” You asked, tucking a braid behind her ear. She smiled and said “happy,” She sat up with a wince and reached for Khädina. You handed her to your mother and she smiled.

She moved her top and began to feed her, smiling as she cooed and squirmed happily. “I was awake the whole time. I heard everything you say about the forest boy. You want to be with him, it almost sounds like you need it. I understand, daughter. I’ve talked with your father while you were gone and he understands as well. If his parents approve, we will allow you to mate with that boy. Just…be sure. Okay?” She said and you smiled, more tears spilling down your face.

She wiped them away and you nodded, thanking her. Your father came back and held all 3 of his girls in his arms, feeding you two some food and admiring his new daughter.

A few days later, your mother was healed better and she was able to leave the marui, introducing everyone to the new baby. Once again, Lo’ak stood off to the side watching. You took a deep breath, smiling at him and gently taking Khädina from your mothers arms to show the little kids.

He couldn’t help but think about that being your child one day. Him standing behind you, holding you in his arms as you showed off the little baby you made together. He’d want them to look like you. So he could look at them and see the girl he loves most. Also, in case something happens to his ambitious and slightly impulsive girl and he no longer gets to wake up next to her every day. That way he’d have a little you to keep him from giving up.

He wanted to be with you so bad. He wanted to hug you and kiss you and make love to you as much as possible. He was so in love with you. He always told you Eywa had been creating you since the time of the first songs, making sure you were as perfect as possible, which you were.

Once you were able to have some time to yourself, you went to the spirit tree. You swam around for a bit, interacting with the animals. At the eclipse, you connected your kuru to the tree and closed your eyes. “Great mother, I need help. I…I feel very connected to Lo’ak, one of the forest people who came to Awa’atlu for safety. He…he actually makes me feel safe, and also very happy. But…he is Omaticaya. His parents do not want us to be together. I…I don’t know what I should do. Please, Eywa, I need your guidance” you told her, smiling at the thoughts of Lo’ak.

Atokirina came over to you, hovering right over your heart. You smiled and told Eywa of Khädina’s birth, even though you knew she already knew. “She’s beautiful, Eywa. I’m forever grateful for such a beautiful gift from the great mother” you told her, now wanting to hold her again.

Once you were down, you headed home and ran into Tsireya. “Hi…I- I heard Lo’ak talking to Kiri about some things. I just…I wanted to say that these last few weeks have just been friendship with Lo’ak. I actually…well I-I’ve been trying to help him look for you. And trying to boost his mood. He got really upset because he missed you. He sees you, y/n. More than anyone else. He sees you so clear he cannot handle it sometimes. Please…do not let me get in the way of your relationship. What you have…is special. And I…well I sort of…if I were to choose a brother it’d probably be Neteyam” she said, really shy as she spoke the last part.

You smiled and said “you are attracted to Neteyam, sister?” Her bioluminescent freckles glowed as she nodded, looking over at the brothers braiding little Tuk’s hair. You smiled and said “you should try. Ronal and Eyati are good friends, maybe she would allow it” “no, I can’t…I am going to be the next Tsahík. I should mate with a Metkayina man” she said and you rolled your eyes.

You hugged her and said “thank you, sister. Thank you,” She smiled and said “you’re welcome. Go be with your man now,” You giggled and walked over to him, he instantly looked up and was starstruck.

He had finally truly looked at you for the first time in weeks, god he almost forgot just how gorgeous you are. Your hips swayed beautifully, your bioluminescent freckles glowing beautifully, your outfit accentuating your body in ways that did things to Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak? Can we…talk?” You asked and Neteyam’s eyes widened. He chuckled and said “you upset your woman, Lo’ak? Better be careful, we all know she could kick your skxawng ass anytime” you laughed a little, a beautiful sound to him. Nearly as beautiful as his mothers song chord.

You smiled and tapped his shoulder as you walked by, signaling for him to follow you. You walked to a secluded part of the island, no maruis, no people. Just trees and rocks and the water. “Lo’ak?” You asked, he seemed a bit…uncomfortable.

“Yes?” He said, raising his eyebrows slightly. You noticed his tail moving quite erratically, he was nervous. “I…I have had some time to think. I asked Eywa for guidance, as well and…I think mating with you is something that is meant to happen. Our love for each other is something very special, Lo’ak. I don’t think Eywa put us in the other's life on accident” you said and he looked down.

You grabbed his hand and he said “you should be with a Metkayina man…the clan would be upset at you, and they’d turn their back on you like they did me. I’m not good for you, y/n. Neteyam is a better option. I’m…I’m alien, y/n. All they’ll see is demon blood”

Tears filled your eyes as you whimpered. “Lo’ak…oel ngati kameie” He looked up at you and a tear slipped down his cheek. He looked so hurt, so lost. You cupped his cheeks, trying to force him to look at you.

“oel ngati kameie” he whispered back softly, placing his hands on your waist. You gasped slightly, you didn’t expect him to give in so easily. You pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Please stay with me…we can- w-we can run away together and we’ll…we’ll make our own clan,” he said, obviously joking.

“We’ll…we’ll bring some others and then our kids can mate with some of them and we’ll make an entirely new clan” he said and you smiled. You caressed his cheek and said “and what would our clan be called?”

“Mmmm y/n” he said and you giggled. You sniffled and said “you can’t name our clan after me” “but you are so incredible, y/n. And mighty. Anyone who gets to say your name and see your beautiful face should consider themselves lucky” he said and your bioluminescent freckles lit up and you giggled again.

He pulled away and you looked up at him, biting your lip. You looked down at his lips and then back up at him, and he nodded. You leaned in and kissed him softly, his hands finding your hips he pulled you into him. You were practically flush against him as he dipped you back a little.

He moved his hands to your back, pulling you impossibly closer and causing you to moan a little into the kiss. You pulled away and he chased your lips a little, making you chuckle. He smiled and said “I love you, y/n. I cannot live without you, I mean it. It’s been so hard these last few weeks I don’t want to ever be away from you again”

“I love you too, Lo’ak. I’m so glad Eywa brought you here. You make me so happy, my love” you said, still caressing his cheek. He kissed you again and you smiled through it, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his hips after he tapped your thigh softly.

Neteyam, Kiri, Jake, Neytiri, and Tuk had all once again been spying and Neteyam started cheering him on. Kiri giggled and did the same, and then they all did. You gasped, hiding your face in his chest from embarrassment and he blushed. He loved when you did that.

“Yeaaa! My brother finally brainwashed a girl into being with him!” Neteyam said, placing his hands on shoulders and slapping them slightly. Neytiri raised an eyebrow and said “who taught you to kiss like that, boy?”

“Ma sa’nok…” he said, a little embarrassed. You giggled and looked up at him, kissing his warm cheek. He rubbed your back and said “just a natural I guess” specifically looking at Neteyam with a boyish grin on his face.

“Alright, you may have settled on a mate but don’t be having all kinds of babies yet. You're barely Na’vi adults, why don’t you act like teenagers for a few more years?” Jake said and you nodded. Lo’ak smiled and said “of course, dad. Cannot wait to father your children but I must show you how amazing you are first”

Neytiri placed her hands on your shoulders and said “welcome to the family, sweetheart,” and kissed your head. Neytiri sighed and said “be a gentleman and take care of her, Lo’ak. Or I’ll make sure she kicks your ass”

He rubbed your back, whispering a promise to never ever hurt you in your ear. “Come on, you gotta finish my hair,” Tuk whined, grabbing both her brother’s arms. You chuckled and let go of him, pushing him so he didn’t make the excuse of being with you to get out of braiding sweet little Tuk’s hair.

“I’ll never understand why you want him, but I’m glad you two are happy. I was sick of taking care of his mopey ass while you were gone” Kiri said and you laughed, watching your sweet soon to be mate make silly faces at his little sister as Neteyam continued braiding.

“He’s perfect to me…I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together” you said, biting your lip. Kiri rolled her eyes and Jake and Neytiri chuckled, shaking their heads. Lo’ak looked over at you and winked, making your bioluminescent freckles shine like stars of the night sky. You smiled and winked back.

God, you’d do anything for the rebellious forest boy.

As of now l'm writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

Eddissy

Maya Hawke

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Lo’ak

Neteyam

So just comment the taglist you want to be added to and l'll add you :)

#avatar 2 #avatar #avatar the way of water #lo’ak x y/n #lo’ak imagine #lo’ak x reader #lo’ak fic #lo’ak x metkayina!reader #lo’ak x metkayina!y/n #Lo’ak te Suli Tseyeyk’itan

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writtenonreceipts · 8 months

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Rowaelin Month Day Ten: Co-Stars With Chemistry @rowaelinscourt

Find Part One Here Rowaelin Month Masterlist

Thanks for all the kind words on part one! I hope part two lives up to your expectations! Part three, and the conclusion, will come later this month. Bonus points if you spot the "against the tide" reference ;)

Warnings: None, right around 4k words

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

The Words We Share-Part Two

<<Welcome to Terrasen! I’m your host Aelin Galathynius and this week we’ve got a special episode coming your way. We’ll be live with none other than Rowan Whitethorn to discuss his new book. Dead Man’s Game is his first step into fantasy and a twisted tale of pirates, curses, and of course a dive into Scottish history. Join us next week in a special LIVE episode. Until next time, readers.>>

It wasn’t the worst promotional Aelin had ever done in her life. But it also wasn’t the best. She’d written and scrapped over a dozen and so far, that was the one that hadn’t sucked the most. Somehow.

Aelin stared at the blinking square on her computer that asked if she wanted to publish the message or not. Technically she could still turn down the interview. She could tell Dorian off and ignore Whitethorn for the rest of his existence and move on with her life. And then she’d probably lose her job and end up homeless.

Wincing, she clicked the button and immediately spun away from her computer.

Her office, big and bright and vibrant, had a large window that overlooked downtown. In the distance the mountains were shrouded in a thick layer of clouds, not surprising but a little disappointing. She much preferred her summer months warm and clear. Still, she let herself admire the view and took a moment to appreciate the stillness of the day.

Until her gaze landed on her phone.

There were a handful of messages from Sam that she’d left unread. He’d tried calling her after she’d returned home, but she didn’t pick up. Rowan was still on her mind. Rowan and his stupid accent and his stupidly large hands. How was it that someone she hated (and who hated her in return) could treat her to the best date she’d been on in months? Years?

She didn’t know. And she didn’t want to call Elide to talk to her about it because Elide was a meddlesome little minx.

Now as Aelin stared at her phone, she found herself wondering if there was anything Sam could say that would have her forgive him.

Whoever stood you up is an idiot, Rowan had said.

And…maybe he was right.

A knock at the door was the only thing that snagged her attention. She looked over to see Dorian leaning against her doorway.

“Aelin,” he greeted. He had his usual grin in place, black hair in an easy disarray. His blue eyes shone with too much placating humor.

“I hate you.” It wasn’t an exaggeration either. He was really good at being annoying.

“Oh, c’mon, I’m doing you a favor,” Dorian insisted. He didn’t look the least bit apologetic. “I guarantee this’ll get your viewership up.”

“Not even Chaol is this mean,” Aelin said. She slumped down in her seat, tilting her head back against the chair rest.

“You only like him because he brings in chocolate cake,” Dorian said.

“Yeah and he isn’t an ass like you.” Aelin continued glaring at her boss and friend, picking up her pen to scratch at the pad of paper beside her desk, just for something to do.

“Aelin, Rowan’s our best-selling author, not to mention the demand of getting more events from him like this.” Dorian picked an invisible piece of lint from his shirt and shrugged. “Hate him all you want, but our readers and your listeners have been begging for this.”

Aelin had seen requests forms on their website, she’d been to plenty of conventions and heard the reviews—she knew that Dorian was right. But…

“I like Whitethorn even less than you,” Aelin said. Though, the words sounded hollow in her own ears.

Dorian didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll take you out to dinner to make up.”

Aelin had had enough of men propositioning her for dinner. She waved Dorian off.

“Go be the big CEO man, I’ve gotta write this script and get the general outline to Whitethorn,” she said.

Dorian left with a wave of his hand.

Aelin rolled her eyes and pulled up a new document on her computer. A small notification bar in the corner of the screen indicated views on the recent upload. In the span of three minutes there were already over two hundred views and the number was rapidly rising.

She glanced at the large stack of paper still sitting in the corner of her desk. She’d gotten it just last week—the tell-tale mysterious new novel Rowan had written. Even Dorian said it was remarkable. Aelin had yet to view it since it was no longer a part of her job description to edit and critique manuscripts. But since she’d be interviewing Rowan, she got early access to the novel.

In truth, she’d enjoyed Rowan’s work. There was always something about it, even if she did mark up every page with as much red as she could manage. But, really? Most of the comments weren’t negative. Often, she even found herself praising the way a sentence worked or the callbacks he gave to earlier chapters.

Now, having the manuscript before her, Aelin couldn’t help but feel a little excited at having the book before her.

At least this would be enough of a distraction for her.

It wasn’t until the sun began to set and shadows crawled across the walls of her office, that Aelin finally looked up from the manuscript.

And to her phone that lit up with another message.

Cursing, Aelin opened the chat with Sam.

>>Sam: you can’t keep ignoring me.

<<Aelin: I told you I needed time.

>>Sam: It was one night. we’ll have dozens more.

Aelin scoffed at the surety in his words. Shaking her head Aelin sent one last message.

<<Aelin: I’m done. This is over. I can’t keep playing games and being a placeholder.

>>Sam: We’ll talk in the morning.

He could try calling her, but would find it difficult considering she was blocking his number that very moment.

It felt good to set that boundary, to tell him no, to feel like she was in control.

In all honesty, she was still caught up on spending time with Rowan Whitethorn and not tossing her wine on him. He’d been a gentleman, an ass, but respectful all the same. She would have to thank him for helping her that night despite how much she didn’t want to. He didn’t need to step in and give her an excuse to use against Kaltain. And he certainly didn’t need to pay for dinner and make sure she got into a cab safely. He hadn’t needed to do any of it and she hadn’t expected him to. But he had.

She wanted to be irritated at him for it. She wasn’t a damsel in distress for him to take care of or who needed help to begin with. She would have dealt with Kaltain on her own just fine.

Still, it was nice to have someone looking out for her.

Shaking her head, Aelin flipped through the manuscript to the first page once again.

She had a dream, once, years ago, where she would stand out on a rocky shoreline and stare into the ocean as she wondered just how far she could sail before the world swallowed her whole.

…

Between screaming Fall Out Boy lyrics, two impromptu dance parties, and chugging half an energy drink in the parking garage of the publishing building—Aelin finally found herself ready to face the inevitability of the day.

“It’s going to be fine,” she told herself one more time as she fixed her lipstick in the rearview mirror. “Everything is going to be fine.”

It had been her mantra that she prepared for the live podcast she would be filming that day. For the first time in a very long time, Aelin found herself nervous for the day. And she did not get nervous. No, Aelin prided herself on being confident, capable, and being able to keep her head on straight.

That was before she’d read Rowan’s book, though.

She got out of her car, energy drink and manuscript in hand, and headed up to her office to prepare for the interview.

She hadn’t had any issue in reading Rowan's book. In fact, she’d stayed up the entire night just to finish it. Everything about the book had captured her attention. From the magic to the world building to the romance—it had all been just what she loved most in a book. Even if the book wasn’t as spicy as Aelin preferred to get in her books, there had been something real about the way Rowan chose the write this novel.

And now she’d have to tell him.

She was not looking forward to it if she were being honest. For as much as she loved gushing about novels and diving into different worlds and characters…she’d never done so about one of Rowan’s books. And this book was so different from his other books.

Aelin felt far too jittery as she waited for the elevator. The usual crowds all milled about her, all too concerned with their own issues to give her much credence. She didn’t know if that was better or worse.

She hadn’t felt this way about an interview in ages. Only her first real podcast session had been as bad and that was only because she’d gone into in on no sleep and four shots of espresso.

The elevator slowly lumbered up to the proper floor while Aelin paced the small space. Thankfully no one else was in here with her. That would have just been icing on the cake.

“It’s going to be a great day and everything is going to be fine,” she told herself as the doors slid open to the proper floor. Dorian of course was standing right there, leaning against the far wall.

His black hair was styled perfectly out of his face, his smirk ever present. He gave one last twist to the new wedding band on his finger as Aelin stepped out of the elevator and began walking to her studio.

“You ready for today?” he asked, keeping stride with her easily.

“Of course, I am,” she replied. Her confidence was deceiving, but it was something she’d practiced ever since she was a child who wanted to get out of trouble. “It’s just like any other podcast.”

Dorian made a noise in the back of his throat. “This is potentially the biggest release our company—”

“I know, Dorian.” Aelin stopped outside her studio and handed Dorian the mess of energy drink and notes she was carrying so she could unlock the door. “I’m not an idiot.”

Dorian followed her inside and she caught a sheepish smile on his face. “Sorry. I know you know. And I know you’ll take this seriously. Just…try not to hate on him too much, yeah?”

It was no secret really that Aelin and Rowan had a slight rivalry going on. At least, Dorian was the only one really aware of it. And Elide. But Elide was the best at keeping secrets herself.

“Can I tease him about the fated mates trope?” she asked.

“No.”

“Boo.” Aelin took her things back from him and rolled her eyes. “Do you want to read through my notes? Give me your approval, oh great one?”

He was already walking back out of the studio, waving a hand overhead. “Behave!”

Aelin snorted a laugh; she’d been granted honorary approval to go to his bachelor party three months ago; if anyone needed to behave it was him. She wondered partially if his wife actually realized what she’d gotten into.

No matter.

Aelin settled into her usual routine upon arriving at the office in the morning. If she kept things as normal as possible, they were bound to work out, right?

So she bounced between her actual office and the studio for the next hour, running through her questions and side comments she could make about various points and ideas she’d highlighted from Rowan’s book.

Elide stopped by a few times to give her a countdown to when the podcast would air. The other woman was technically an acquisitions editor, but Aelin was going to try and steal her to be her assistant. That would piss Kaltain off.

When there was ten minutes left until they were slated to begin. Aelin went to the studio to make sure everything was ready. She usually made sure the couch and chair were angled properly first with microphones at the ready before ensuring a blanket and a few pillows were easy to reach. Not that she thought Rowan would want to snuggle up with a puppy studded fleece blanket—it was the thought that counted.

She was just organizing her desk with her notes and her copy of Rowan’s manuscript when she heard Elide’s voice down the hall.

“She’s just down this way.”

Aelin gave everything one final look in the studio before deciding that was just as good as it was going to get. After all, everything was neat and organized. Except the bookshelves. Those were pure chaos. But in Aelins opinion, keeping bookshelves looking perfect was a useless task.

Elide rounded the open door, looking far too amused by what was about to unfold.

“Hey Aelin,” she said, leaning against the jam. Her black hair hung in loose waves and her expression was carefully impassive—though that gleam in her eyes was hard to miss. “I found your next interview in the halls.”

Sure enough, standing behind her was Rowan. He was dressed casually, far more casual than she’d ever seen him before. No dress shirt or tie, no slacks, no fancy shoes worth more than her car. It was a startling contrast to when he’d saved her at the restaurant. Even his hair was different. Not that it was bad. The man had good hair.

“Thanks, Elide,” Aelin said with a smile. She hadn’t been staring too much, had she?

“Let me know if you need anything,” Elide said. There was no mistaking her brow raise as she departed.

Oh, Aelin was certainly going to be interrogated later this afternoon. She stuffed that away far in the back of her mind.

“Come on in, Mr. Whitethorn.” Aelin gestured him into the room and swung the door shut behind him. “Have a seat on the couch, we’ve got a few minutes.”

She was going to keep this professional and dignified. All she had to do was get through the next forty-five minutes and then this would be over. Fifty if she took in time for ads and brief intermission in the middle.

“You can call me Rowan, you know,” he said as he took up an easy position on the couch. His silver hair was, as usual, perfectly styled and left his handsome face on display. “After the restaurant and everything.”

Aelin had to fight to keep from glaring too much at him. Though she did end up pursing her lips tightly enough that her lipstick was definitely going to smudge.

“I think we should agree to never talk about that night. Ever.” True nothing that embarrassing had come of it, other than a hit to Aelin’s pride, but talking about it would only lead to more people hearing about it. And she really didn’t trust Whitethorn not to tease her about it. Besides, talking about getting stood up by a guy she’d wasted too much time on, to Whitethorn of all people, was not something she wanted to do.

Especially considering she’d spent a great deal of time in the last week thinking about how handsome Rowan actually was.

Rowan only smiled as he watched her shuffle her notes and papers. Aelin knew if she met his gaze that she would let something slip so she avoided eye contact. She'd gotten good at that.

"If you need water, there's a mini fridge under that end table,” Aelin told him. “Or I can get you a coffee real quick?”

“Water’s fine,” Rowan said. He reached for the fridge and pulled out one of the plastic bottles chilling. “I'm curious though, did you forgive the man who stood you up? Or did he have a reasonable explanation?"

"It's none of your business," Aelin replied stiffly. This was a mistake. Maybe she could call Elide in here to act as a buffer. "Do you want a look at some of the questions I have planned or are you okay going in blind?"

Rowan shrugged. "I'm always up for a bit of fun."

Aelin didn't have a response for that so she spent the last few minutes until airing explaining to Rowan how the microphone worked. He could mute himself if he needed to cough or anything like that, but ultimately, she had control over sounds volume and everything along those lines.

"Do your worst," he told her as she opened the podcast.

"Welcome to Terrasen, listeners and readers alike," Aelin said, still glaring at Rowan. "As you know, today's session is going to be extra fun and special as we have Rowan Whitethorn with us for the first time. I know many of you have asked about having him on the show as well as have been interested in what he's been working on recently, so here we are."

She paused for a brief moment in preparation. "Rowan, thanks so much for taking the time to join us today."

"Thanks, Aelin," he said, leaning into the mic just a little. His accent lilted in that familiar way and he looked far too at ease sitting across from her. His watch clicked happily along on his wrist catching the light as he clasped his hands together. "It's good to be here. I've been a long-time listener."

Liar. "Really? What have been some of your favorite episodes?" She'd catch him out and not feel the least bit sorry for it either.

"Well, the series about what makes a romance book was rather interesting, I have to say. Especially your comments on smut," he grinned at her and Aelin flipped him of. At least this wasn't a video session too.

"I like a bit of fun," she dryly, throwing his own words back at him. "Good to know what keeps you entertained."

"Oh, I like hiking too."

"Right," Aelin snatched on to that with the sole goal of getting out of the current conversation. "Which is something you grew up doing a lot of right? You grew up in Scottland?"

"Aye, just outside of Edinburgh," Rowan said. "Moved to America when I was seventeen, but most of my summers I went back to stay with my cousins."

"Do you miss it?" Aelin asked. "From what I've read in your books the landscape the history, the people, it's all so beautiful and wonderful and rich."

"Aye," Rowan ran a hand over his chin. "It'll always be a part of me. My da taught me everything about the outdoors and nature and adventuring as he could before he passed, that's why I moved to America. So my mum could be near family. And growing up without him just left a hole in my heart, y'know? So writing and research just turned into a way for me to remember him.”

Aelin tried to ignore the effect of his words. She knew what that was like exactly.

“Right,” she agreed, “sometimes telling stories is the best way to remember someone, or something.”

Rowan met her gaze again and something flashed in his eyes as he nodded his agreement.

“Plus, it’s an easy way to relieve stress,” he added. “With all the research I’ve done, y’know I spent every day for three months training with a group of tae kwon do specialists just to learn how to describe one fight scene properly?”

From there, it was easy for Aelin to continue asking him about writing and research and why he’d chosen non-fiction to begin with. Just like the night at the restaurant—it was far to easy to talk to him. Far too easy to have this simple, easy-going conversation with him.

In fact, it had been a long time since she’d been able to talk like this to anyone. Which, maybe wasn’t a good thing. Most of this was scripted anyways not to mention Rowan had done plenty of other interviews and certainly had many of these responses memorized.

Hell.

She’d started reading too much into this.

“So,” Aelin said as they were nearing the end of the segment. “I’m still surprised you actually made the leap in to fiction—fantasy no less. And with a lead character like Celaena Sardothien.”

“You’re surprised I can write a female main character?” Rowan chuckled. He’d rolled up the sleeves to his shirt a while ago, one of his arms in a full tattoo sleeve. She couldn’t understand whatever language the majority of the tattoos were in but she did recognize a few Gaelin words and symbols in the mix.

“Well, yes.”

“C’mon, Galathynius,” he said, “even you have to admit you liked my book. I did a good job. Especially with Celaena.”

“Do I though? You should see all the marks I made on the manuscript.” In truth there weren’t very many, at least not as many as she had given in the past. But she would add some if it would shut him up.

“The book hits all your favorite tropes,” Rowan said. He wore that all knowing smirk of his that had been infuriating (and fine, fascinating) her for the last forty-five minutes.

“How do you even know what I like?”

Rowan chuckled, a sound that hit Aelin like a shot to the heart. “We’ve been friends for five years.”

“We’re not friends,” Aelin corrected, but there was no malice in her words.

“Please Galathynius,” he insisted, “you like me.”

“Shut up Whitethorn.” Aelin muted him as burst into laughter and she had to fight to keep her own voice even as she addressed her listeners. “We’ve just had a great conversation with novelist, Rowan Whitethorn about his upcoming high fantast adventure Dead Man’s Game which will be released on November fifteenth. Thanks for listening friends, we’ll see you next time.”

She made all the necessary clicks and flicks to shut the mics down properly and just like that the segment was over. Looking up, Aelin scowled at Rowan. She’d been doing that a lot hadn’t she?

“Seriously?” she asked.

“Are we really not friends?” Rowan finally leaned back in his seat. Even that small bit of distance was enough that Aelin felt she could finally take a breath of air.

The table between them wasn’t even that big but being close to him had put her heart in overdrive and made her mind feel like a pile of mush.

“Whitethorn,” she said, ignoring his small eyeroll at the use of his last name, “we both know the extent of our “relationship” has been insulting each other.”

That made him pause and another look flashed across his features, one Aelin couldn’t identify. But it made her squirm all the same. So, she launched herself out of her seat. She didn’t want to think about anything beyond being done with this segment and maybe having some peace of mind.

“It was a live session,” she told him, “so you can listen to it whenever. I think Dorian had a few extra things he needed to get you relating to your edits.”

Aelin needed to shut down whatever emotions were cutting through her. It wouldn’t do good to dwell on them or Rowan longer than necessary. This was just a passing occurrence. Eventually he would leave their publishing house—or get so big as a name that he couldn’t be bothered with her silly little podcast.

Not that she cared. Or that it mattered.

Slowly, Rowan stood from his seat, his eyes trained on her. “Do I get your edits?”

Aelin blinked. “What?”

“Your edits? All the notes and thoughts you had on the manuscript?” He didn’t move to leave like she expected him to. He just kept waiting for her answer.

“I—” she paused. “You really want them?”

“Of course,” he said, “your thoughts have always been invaluable to me.”

She’d never really understand that word: invaluable. Oh she knew what it meant and that Rowan said it as a compliment, but it had always struck her as an asinine and bland way of describing somethings true worth. Rowan regarded her with such sincerity that Aelin was already reaching for the giant stack of papers from where she’d left it on the edge of her desk.

For some reason, she was hesitant on giving him the pages. It wasn’t like she’d struggled with this before. As she held the manuscript out for him, however, she felt shy. And Aelin damned Galathynius was not shy. Mala above.

“Ignore what you don’t like,” she said, just as she always did.

“Thank-you,” Rowan said. He tucked the papers into his arm and, finally, retreated for the door.

“Wh—” Aelin paused mentally cursing herself, “Rowan?”

He turned, hand on the doorknob.

“Where did Celaena’s character come from?” she asked, it was the one question they didn’t get into during the interview, but the one that intrigued her most. “She’s brilliant, strong, and has to be inspired by someone. Who?”

A small smile quirked one side of his lips as he pushed the door open. “I thought it was obvious.”

And then he was out the door, swallowed up by a shout from Dorian calling him into his office.

Aelin could only stare after him. And just like the night of that insufferable date—she was left confused and uncertain about what his words actually meant.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Tumblr is not allowing me to tag anyone right now, so if you could reblog to increase exposure, I would so very much appreciate it! <3

#rowaelin #rowaelin month #rowaelinmonth #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowan x aelin #aelin x rowan

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ukrfeminism · 6 months

Text

‘What’s the worst that can happen?” That is what Georgia Harrison asked herself one Sunday morning in August 2020 when Stephen Bear, who lived opposite, invited her over for a cup of tea. They knew each other through the reality television and influencer circuits. She had been on The Only Way Is Essex (Towie) and Love Island; he had done Shipwrecked, Ex on the Beach, then won Celebrity Big Brother. They had hooked up before and he hadn’t treated her well.

“We’d been in lockdown and I was definitely quite lonely, feeling quite rubbish about myself,” says Harrison, 28. “I knew that going to Bear’s was a bad idea – there were two voices in my head. In the end, I thought: what’s the worst that could happen? Well, now we know.”

What happened was this: the morning cup of tea stretched into a long lunch washed down by tequila, followed by drunken sex in Bear’s back garden. The sex was different from how it had been in the past – more performative, with Bear carefully positioning Harrison in various locations. “It was more dramatic and lasted longer,” says Harrison. “I just thought he was having a good day.” Afterwards, to Harrison’s horror, Bear mentioned casually that it might have been caught on his CCTV system. When he showed her the footage and she began to cry (“I’ll die if anyone sees it,” she said), he promised to delete the video. Instead, three months later, Bear posted the footage on his verified Only Fans account. Within days, it was all over the internet, including the website Pornhub. “Georgia Harrison sex tape” had become a top search on Google.

Harrison found out when a fan in the US sent her a screenshot asking: “Have you seen this?” Her reaction was to gag. But she picked herself up and went to the police. Bear was arrested, charged and convicted. In March 2023, he was sentenced to 21 months in prison for voyeurism and sharing private sexual photographs and films with intent to cause distress. Now, she has written a memoir about it, Taking Back My Power.

It is hard to overstate the impact of this case. Most victims of intimate image abuse never report the crime. They are teenagers too terrified of their parents’ reactions, professionals who fear for their careers, parents who don’t want their children or partner to know, or anyone else who can’t face walking into a police station armed with a link to Pornhub. Of those who do come forward, only about 4% will ever see a charge; a prison sentence is rarer still.

Bear’s case – on the news, in headlines, all over social media – sent a message of hope to victims of this sort of abuse and a warning shot to potential perpetrators. There was a 56% rise in calls to the government’s “revenge porn” helpline in the month he was sentenced. Harrison didn’t stop there, though. She lobbied parliament to demand better laws around “revenge porn” and helped to secure amendments to the online safety bill that make the crime easier to prosecute. She is still campaigning for platforms that carry the footage of her and Bear to be held criminally accountable.

It is certainly not the life or career she had in mind when she left school at 16, the only child of a single mother, already intent on reality TV stardom. “I grew up in Essex and a lot of my friends were on Towie, so that’s what I wanted to reach for,” she says. “It was the idea of literally getting paid for doing photoshoots, partying and having some fun in all these mad countries and bars.” At 19, she did get on Towie; a few years later, she was on Love Island. She built a career as an influencer and was able to buy a flat in Essex at 21. Was it all she had hoped for? “Actually, it was even better,” she says.

Although she and Bear were neighbours, Harrison didn’t get to know him until October 2018, when they were cast in The Challenge, an MTV reality show. By then, the former roofer had built a TV reputation as a bit of a player, a “lovable rogue”. They got together during filming, but when the show finished, Bear went back to womanising. Shortly afterwards, they starred in the sequel and got together again. This time, though, Harrison says, he locked her out of their hotel room to sleep with someone else.

The next time Harrison saw Bear was in August 2020, when he invited her over for that cup of tea and secretly filmed them having sex. Afterwards, she felt certain he had planned it. “We’d been in every angle that his CCTV covered,” she says. “He’d made sure we were never outside the lines.” Even so, she didn’t see what lay ahead. “I was really upset and he seemed to understand. I never for a second thought he’d be stupid enough to send it to people. I hoped he had some form of respect for me, but I also thought he wouldn’t want to ruin his entire career or end up in prison. I just didn’t think he was capable of what he was capable of.”

In the days after, Harrison messaged Bear asking him to promise he wouldn’t do anything with the video. He assured her that he had deleted it. It was December when she received the screenshot from a fan in the US. “That’s when I knew it was global,” she says. “One of my first thoughts was: it’s time to tell my family. My mum knew already, but I needed to have the conversations with my dad, my uncle – the male figures, I guess – so they knew it was coming.” In fact, her uncle knew already; he had been sent the video by someone who didn’t realise Harrison was his niece. “They were all horrified, but supportive,” she says. “I was an adult having sex – they told me I’d done nothing to be ashamed of.”

She knew that, but shame still hit in waves. “It went so horrifically viral; my postman’s probably seen it,” she says. “It’s that feeling that I’d let myself down, let my family down, that I should have seen it coming and how could I have been so stupid?” Her influencer work went into freefall. Any post on any product would be flooded with comments about the video (“Congrats hon, you’re a porn star now!”). “There were so many other influencers – same amount of followers, been on Love Island, same calibre – who didn’t have a sex scandal. Why put me next to their brand?” She rented out her flat – for income and because she was terrified of seeing Bear – and moved in with her mum.

“I don’t think I’ve admitted to myself how bad my anxiety was until now,” she says. “I wouldn’t be able to go to the gym on my own, or I’d get in and feel everyone was looking at me and have to leave. I barely left the house and when I did it was really hard not to panic. It got to the point where I only wanted to be around my closest friends.”

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Harrison reported Bear, who was arrested in January 2021 and charged four months later. There was an 18-month wait for the trial. Harrison’s life was on hold. She knew she had a strong case – she had been filmed without her knowledge and had sent multiple messages to Bear begging him not to share it – but she dreaded a “not guilty” verdict. The Bear she knew, the Bear who had won Celebrity Big Brother, was a charmer. He could win hearts, talk you round.

“If he was found not guilty, I think I would have had to shave my head and move to Bolivia or something,” she says. “The career I love would have been over – that’s definite. But aside from that, my faith in the universe would have been so shattered. It would have drained all the hope and faith and love and life out of me. To see someone act in such an awful, evil, manipulative way and then walk away … I felt it might just ruin me – and it seemed possible. Bear could play things so brilliantly. I don’t know why he decided not to.”

Bear’s behaviour before and during the trial probably sealed his sentence. He uploaded X-rated videos of him and his girlfriend to the internet, captioning one: “At least she knows I’m filming her.” In another video posted just before the trial, the couple cavorted in orange prison jumpsuits. He ran a Twitter poll on what colour of suit he should wear to court – and turned up in a rented Rolls-Royce, dressed in pink and a huge fur coat, carrying a cane topped with a gold snake’s head. In court, he interrupted the judge and waved away the barrister. He pleaded not guilty, but his defence was nonsensical. At times, he claimed that Harrison wasn’t the woman in the video, or that she didn’t mind it being filmed, or that there was no proof that he had uploaded the images – it might have been his assistant, it could have been a hacker.

Had he pleaded guilty and expressed remorse, he would almost certainly have been handed a community sentence. Harrison still can’t understand it. “The Bear I first met was funny and cheeky, but also really charming – he could be kind,” she says. “That person in court seemed possessed. I feel like every show he went on, he was praised for being ‘the villain’ – and the worse he was, the more attention he got. At some point, the lines blurred. That role took over.” A reality TV monster? “That’s how it seemed.”

Giving evidence was excruciating for Harrison. She sat in the witness box as the jury (nine men, three women) looked through pages and pages of video stills, having to confirm that each one featured her. “I could tell the jury was absolutely cringing,” she says. “I was in a private garden in a private moment that I thought was between me and one other person. To know people have seen it is hard. To see people seeing it while they can see you is harder.

“As someone in the public eye, used to public speaking, it was still hard to get my words out. You don’t know where to look, who to talk to. You feel you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t. I dread to think what it’s like for a vulnerable young woman who isn’t used to addressing a room. I think it would be near enough impossible.” She hopes her case might make it a little easier. “Women come up to me all the time, crying, saying they’ve been through this horrible situation and never spoken to anyone about it before. They message me on a daily basis. Intimate-image abuse happens so much more than people think.”

After the trial, Harrison continued campaigning, initially to make cases easier to prosecute. At present, the sharing of intimate images without consent is not illegal – unless done “with intent to cause distress”, however hard that is to prove. In June, the government announced amendments to the online safety bill that will remove this requirement if the law is passed. This will mean that sharing intimate images without consent, whatever the motive, would become a criminal act.

But Harrison wants more.

“If you go to court for this and get a criminal conviction, that content should become illegal and any platforms that still show it and fail to take it down should become criminally accountable,” she says. “It’s crazy. If someone gets caught with drugs, those drugs are seized and disposed of. Why should this footage stay up there? A change like that isn’t hard to make and it would make a huge difference. Far more victims would come forward, because they’d know it will be possible to make all that footage disappear at the end.”

The video of Harrison and Bear is still out there. “I worry that one day I’ll have kids and it will be accessible to them,” she says. “I just hope that by that time, society may have got on top of this and it will be too risky and expensive for platforms to carry it.” She expects that finding a partner she trusts will take time. “As I get to the point where I am trying to have relationships, I’ve realised that I do have trust issues, but that’s not a bad thing. I’ve been burned so badly. I won’t accept anything that might be a red flag or makes me feel vulnerable. If someone really cares about me, they’ll just have to help me get past that.”

Meanwhile, she is busy again. There is a TV show coming up that she can’t talk about yet. The brands are back. Harrison has written Taking Back My Power. She would like to present daytime TV: “You literally get paid to have a natter!” She is also happy to be known for the court case. “I’ll never, ever lose the stigma of being all over those porn platforms,” she says. “But if I’m known as the person who stood up and fought back – I’d be proud of that.”

#Articles #sex industry

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michelleleewise · 1 year

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Worthy

Pairing: Dark!Thor x female reader

Warnings: nothing too bad in this one, creepiness, swearing, mentions of cheating, toxic relationship, sadness, mild depression, anxiety, therapy and counseling, smut at the end (not graphic), if i missed something please let me know. things will progress as we go, please heed the warnings)

Summary: After leaving a toxic relationship, you take the advice of a friend and seek help.....

A/n: This my very first dark anything, as well as Thor, be gentle with me lol im making this a small series for my lovely friend @springdandelixn 💙 like I mentioned it will progress....keep your flashlights handy..... love you guys!!!!

Part One-

You scroll further down the page, unsure what exactly your looking for....someone to listen....someone who won't judge you. You sigh, you friend Maya's words echoing through your head "you need to talk to someone, this isn't healthy to bottle everything up." She had said over coffee "I am, I'm talkng to you." You laughed seeing her shake her head "a professional y/n." She said sternly making you frown. And here you were, scrolling the endless pages of the internet in search of a "professional."

You sighed again, your thumb sliding across the screen on your phone when it caught your eye "Odinison Health and Rehabilitation." You aren't sure what possessed you as you pressed your thumb to the name, their website popping up as you scrolled down seeing their services, counseling being among the many. "Hmm, this might work." You said to yourself, your thumb hovering over the number. You had always told yourself counseling was a joke, a ploy for doctors to get money from the weak..but everything you had been through the last year......

You quicky dialed the number before you changed your mind, your heart racing more with each ring when a lady picked up "Odinson Health, how may I help you." She asked. "Umm...hi, I was...well you see I saw your website.." you trailed off trying to get your thoughts together "were you interested in one of our services ma'am?" She asked a little too politely "uuhh yes....counseling?" You asked, dragging your nails across the table "yes, we have a few different counselors but I would highly recommend one of the owners." She said, you could hear her smile through the phone. "Oh..ok." you hesitated hearing her fingers pressing the keys on her keyboard "ok, so the Odinson's are brothers, one specializes in psychology and med management, the other specializes in crisis situations, as well as general and family counseling, which would you prefer?" She asks typing.

"Err...um the general counselor I suppose?" You asked looking out of the window seeing a bird land on your window sill. "Ok great, Dr Odinson has a few available spots open, let me just see.." She trailed off typing away. "ok, he has an opening tomorrow at three for a consultation, does that work?" She asked "yeah that should be fine." You said tapping your fingers on the table. "Ok your all set for tomorrow, and he will go over his treatment plan with you then." She said "ok thank you." You said quickly hanging up. Releasing the breath you were holding you set your phone down deciding to finally do the sink of dishes that had been staring at you for days wondering what tomorrow would bring.

ooOOoo

You sat in your car staring at the building in front of you willing yourself to go inside, looking down seeing it was almost three you took a deep breath "ok...you can do this, what's the worst that could happen?" You asked yourself shutting your car off. You grabbed your keys and phone heading inside, seeing two ladies sitting behind either side of a long counter "hi! Can I help you?" The one looks up smiling, her like dark hair flowing past her shoulders "y..yes...I'm here to see Dr Odinson." You say fidgeting with your keys "which one?" The other lady snaps. "Um...counseling." you say quietly, afraid she'll bark at you again "oh great! Your in the right place then." The dark haired lady smiled.

You finished your paperwork, sitting in the waiting room absently scrolling through your phone when a text popped up. You wanted to ignore it, pretend you had never seen it. You had spent the last month pretending he never existed, the reason you were currently sitting waiting to talk to a compete stranger about your entire life. You sighed, deciding against your better judgment to open the message.

Shaun- Baby, why won't you talk to me? You know why I did what I did. If you had kept up with your responsibilities I wouldn't have looked elsewhere, I'm not the one to blame here. Now text me back and stop being childish.

You sat there staring at the screen, not sure how to react. It was true the last few months of your relationship had been rocky at best. Between you both working all the time and him hanging out with his friends you had no time together, let alone the energy for any intimacy. Somedays it took all you had to just climb into bed at night before doing it all over again. Hence the night you came home from work to another woman in your bed. A pang of sadness ran through you at the memory...

"That's it baby...mm God you feel so good." You heard Shaun moan through the door, the faceless woman moaning his name loudly as the headboard banged against the wall. You had told your boss you wanted to leave early to surprise your boyfriend with dinner, you weren't prepared for the surprise you had waiting for you. "Do i feel better then her daddy?" You heard the woman moan as tears welled in your eyes "so much better baby...she could never compare to this perfect cunt." You heard Shaun growl, hearing a loud thud against the wall.

You turned from the closed door, making you way to the kitchen you took the boxes of take out out of their bags, placing them in the fridge before sitting at the table, waiting. You weren't sure how long you sat there dazed when you heard voices coming down the hall "she's gonna be home soon, but I'll call you later baby. Maybe we can meet up again tomorrow?" You heard him ask opening the front door "anything for you..daddy." the woman replied before your heard the door shut, footsteps making their way into the kitchen stopping suddenly "how long have you been here?" Shaun asked. You looked up seeing his hair a mess, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers "long enough." You sighed looking down.

"Miss y/n?" You heard your name called, snapping you back to now, seeing a dark haired man standing in the doorway with a clipboard "I'm here, sorry." You said grabbing your keys following him. "So as you know you'll be seeing Dr odinson, this is strictly a consultation, so any questions you have feel free to ask ok?" He said smiling "ok, I will." You said as he led you to a closed door knocking on it "come in." You heard a deep booming voice on the other side sending a jolt through you "don't worry, he's a bit loud but he's really very nice." The man said opening the door. You took a deep breath, walking inside as the man closed the door behind you making you jump.

"Ah, you must me miss y/n, I'm Dr Odinson, but please, call me Thor." The man said standing from behind his desk. He smiled widely as he walked around, holding his hand out your eyes met the bluest ones you had ever seen, shining at you like diamonds through the glasses that seemed to frame his face perfectly "h..hi, I'm y/n." You stuttered, slowly reaching for his hand. "Yes, you are." He smiled "come, have a seat and we can talk." He said gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. You slowly sat down watching him walk around taking his seat, his large frame taking up a majority of the chair "so miss y/n, what brings you here today?" He asked, leaning his elbows on the desk, his large hands cupped together under his chin "Well, you see....I have a friend who said I needed to talk to someone, so here i am." You said looking down at your feet.

"Y/n, look at me." He said sternly making your eyes shoot to his "there you are." He smiled "now, I'm glad you have friends who are looking out for you but there must be a reason you decided to come today." He said watching you intently. "Umm...well i..." you trailed off, looking around the room seeing his diploma hung on the wall, as well as a painting of a lightning storm behind him. "Y/n..." he said making you look at him again "i...I recently left a bad relationship, a..and I'm having alot of issues." You said quietly seeing him nod "and well, I'm told I'm bottling it up." You said fidgeting with your keys again. "Do you feel like you are bottling it up?" He asked leaning forward a bit "I guess...maybe. I don't know." You sighed seeing him pick up a pen, writing something on his notepad.

"Can you briefly tell me what happened?" He asked looking up at you, his eyes boring into you "um, well i..I'd rather not." You said balling your fist "well y/n, in order for me to help you, we need to talk about it." He smiled. "I just..I don't think I'm ready. I'm sorry I wasted your time," you said, quickly getting to your feet as he did making your way to the door "wait y/n, please." He said, following you, placing a large hand on the door as you grabbed the handle "I apologize, I wasn't trying to force you." He said quietly, feeling the heat from his chest against your back, his frame towering over you making you crane your head to look at him, his cologne hitting your nose reminding you of sunshine and rain storms "please, let's sit back down hm?" He asked, not moving his hand from the door.

You took a deep breath, dropping your hand from the door you slowly walked back to your chair, this time he grabbed another chair setting it next to you as he sat down facing you, his knee brushing yours "I understand your apprehension, you don't know me as I don't know you, but you must understand I only wish to help you." He said, his eyes almost too bright to look at as you nodded. "Very good, now tell me..when was the last time you ate? And not junk food either." He asked leaning forward "oh...um a few days." You said seeing him nod "and the last time you truly relaxed, just let your mind go?" He continued "oh..never probably." You said with a small laugh.

You shifted in your seat feeling his gaze intensify. "Well y/n, I think your friend is right. I think you are trying to cope, but in an unhealthy manner." He said "but do not worry, I'm here for you." He smiled, his hand grazing your thigh as he shifted making you stiffen. "I will take very good care of you." He continued, placing his large hand on your knee squeezing "umm, well doctor odins...." you started "please, call me Thor." He said squeezing your knee again, his touch feeling electric as the door flew open, a dark haired man storming inside as Thor retracted his hand.

"I told you to meet me thirty minutes ago." The man snapped crossing his arms "as you can see, I am with a patient." Thor said standing up. "Yes, I can see that I'm not daft Thor, when will you be finished?" The man asked, his deep emerald eyes glaring at you "give me five minutes." Thor said walking around to the other side of his desk as the other man sighed, leaving the room. "Please, forgive my brother, he can be quite impatient." Thor laughed shifted through some papers "Brother?" You asked, looking at Thor's dark blonde hair and large build compared to the other man's raven hair and lithe build "yes..adopted." Thor said matter of factly as you nodded.

"Ok, y/n I would like to begin seeing you once a week to begin your treatment." Thor said writing something down "that often?" You asked furrowing your eyebrows "yes, I believe whatever happened with this.."relationship" has put a great deal on you, and I want to help you." He said air quoting. "I'm not sure I can afford that." You said as he stood, rounding the desk again "I told you y/n..I will take care of you. You have nothing to worry about" He smiled, handing you an appointment card, your fingers brushing his sending a shock through your finger tips. You looked down seeing your appointment was in a few days as you stood up, slipping it into your pocket "ok, thank you doct...Thor." You corrected seeing him smile "good girl, now come." He said, a shiver running through you at his praise making you feel uneasy.

He opened the door, waving you in front of him as he locked his door following behind you. "Now y/n, I want you to go home, take a nice hot bath, slip into your softest nightgown and...relax." He smiled, his eyes traveling up and down your body making you tense "are you ready Thor?" You heard the man before "family...am I right?" He smiled again as you chuckled nervously "I shall see you in a few days miss y/n." He said tilting his head "see you then." You said, hurrying towards the door, looking back seeing his eyes hadn't left you you quickly walked out, making your way to your car as fast as you could.

ooOOoo

You drove home, thinking about the interaction with the doctor. Maybe he's a toucher...you thought to yourself getting out of the car, remembering the grip he had on your knee, his large hand splayed across the door when you tried to leave. You could still feel his eyes on you, sending a shiver down your spine as you walked into your apartment, dropping your keys in the bowl by the door. You looked around sighing as you took in the silence. It had been a month since you moved out of your shared apartment with Shaun and you still weren't used to it. You walked to your room, pulling out your silk night gown laying it out on your bed, grabbing a towel you headed to the bathroom, sitting on the tub you turned the water on, pouring in your favorite lilac scented bubble bath, watching the tub fill as you undressed, stepping in lowering yourself into the hot water you closed your eyes, laying back letting it work the tension from your muscles.

"That's it muffin...relax for me." he whispered in your ear making you sigh, feeling his large hand slowly run up your thigh. "I need to see if you taste as sweet as you sound." He cooed, his lips slowly trailing down your collarbone, his teeth grazing your skin making your back arch. "Ah ah, be a good girl and hold still." He said, his deep voice vibrating through you as he lowered himself between your legs, spreading his hand across your stomach. "Mm..you smell exquisite." He growled, placing a kiss on your inner thigh, nipping at the sensative skin as your fingers threaded through his hair, pulling him closer.

"Eager are we?" He laughed, hooking your legs over his wide shoulders. "Don't worry muffin...I'll take good care of you." He purred, placing a soft kiss on your hip bone. "Aaahh....y....yes.....please...." you moaned, trying to rock closer to him, whining as his hand on your stomach held you in place, his large biceps locking your legs around him "I thought you were going to be my good girl." He said, his breath grazing your flesh "i..I am..I'm s...sorry." you breathed, trying to hold as still as possible. "That's right....show me you are worthy..." he trailed off. You opened your eyes, seeing the white ceiling looking down your eyes met electric blue ones seeing him smile as his lips met you skin..

You jolted up, water splashing to the floor as you gripped the side of the tub. "Holy shit." You breathed, running a hand through your hair. You looked down seeing the bubbles had dissipated, still able to feel his hands on you...his warmth seeping into you. "I need a vacation." You muttered, standing up wrapping the towel around yourself heading into your bedroom. You quickly changed, laying in bed you stared at the ceiling, the dream about your doctor leaving an uneasy feeling inside you, deciding it might be best to look for a different therapist as you closed your eyes hoping for a dreamless sleep.

I didn't know who else wanted to be tagged lol

@mochie85 @vbecker10

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habeascorpseus · 9 months

Text

when i was in 7th grade, i had my first boyfriend. corny shit, i know. in many cases i dont think middle school relationships are enough to be classified as dating- but to this day, i do firmly believe our clumsy attempts at recreating the behavior of couples barely older than us did count. there was an emotional connection there. we had met in 6th grade and bonded over fnaf and minecraft 3 animations and all those other things that people still found found entertaining in 2014.

another notable thing in 7th grade that happened was that i had discovered i was transgender. well, i say "discovered", but it was honestly a long time coming. between my obsession with being seen as a "tomboy," my favorite song on the Kidz Bop 16 CD being Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy" (but sung in a way to make it so much less about cheating that it really became more of a call to action to imagine life as a man) to the point where i manually would loop it on my cd player for hours, and my growing love for mlm shipping— i had been a certified egg since i was in 4th grade. but despite being raised around and parented with about a dozen lesbian and gay couples since birth, i didnt know whether or not my parents were transphobic or not. so, after looking through a list of trans identities, i decided to just come out as genderfluid to my parents as sort of a compromise to the intimidating rigidity of being a trans boy. and even though it wasn't entirely fitting to what i'd ultimately figure out about myself, i grew pretty attached to it.

back to the middle school boyfriend.

at the end of 7th grade— like, a week before summer vacation— i publically came out as genderfluid. while my ex, who i will from now on refer to as Lou, had initially taken it well, albeit with some confusion, over the summer, a much different series of feelings began unfolding. unfortunately, as middle school boys are wont to do whenever one of them begins to act even slightly against the norm, his friends began asking him if he was gay. "if michael¹ is a boy sometimes, does that make you straight, or bisexual?" are some of the things i later heard them ask. and since i, phoneless till the age of 16, was unable to talk to him throughout this relentless picking apart of his own identity, by the time we got back to school, things were... different.

¹ Michael is the name i went by irl for 3 years from 7th-9th grade.

for one, there were the jokes. he was a big leafy fan (and i really did try even back then to steer him away from that but its hard when youre a cringe nerd middle schooler) and back then "attack helicopter" jokes were kind of all the rage, so he began jokingly identifying as a toaster. then he made a toaster mask out of a cardboard box, spray paint, and duct tape that he brought to school and began putting on whenever i walked by him in the hallway. and then, and possibly worst of all- a simple html website shared between his friends called "what gender is Michael today?" which lead to a random generator of options like, "boy", "girl", "toaster", and "attack helicopter." all of which is kind of a lot to deal with when youre a middle schooler with a pretty rough time of it already, and suddenly your main bully is the guy youve effectively been in a relationship with for 6 months.

and now you may be asking: hey habeas, why this sudden autobiographical deep dive into the most traumatic period of your life? what spawned this? how is this story relevant to literally anything going on? well, that's where the next part of the story comes in.

that year, our sex ed teacher was a 5ft transgender man named Mudd. Mudd had a buzzcut, and a higher pitched voice, and small hands, but beyond all of that, there was nothing visibly different about him than any other boy or man in the school. in fact, the boys thought he was cool as hell. they were fascinated by the idea of transformation of the self into an unrecognizable body. they never misgendered him, even after learning his status as a trans man. in fact, they were comfortable enough around him to be transphobic towards me. and Mudd, like a good trans mentor, told them to cut that shit out, and told me that regardless of how complicated and occasionally contradictory my identity was, it was still me, and i needed to stand up for who i was as a person.

a week later, Lou called me a tranny, and in response, i punched him in the nose and promptly stopped talking to him.

so again, why is this relevant? well, I'm not sure how terminally online (or specifically, on twitter) some of you are, but recently there's been a bit of a tiff in a certain fandom about bi lesbianism. specifically, how it, as an identity, is harmful to both the bisexual and lesbian communities. which, one: nooooo....??? bisexuality and lesbianism arent separate so much fraternal twins, and I've already talked too much to include further definitions to prove it. but my argument is really less about its validity as an identity and more about the principle of there being limits to acceptance, even within our community.

like with my experience, people were fine when they were faced with binary identities. a trans man like mudd is cool, or a trans girl like Jazz Jennings (we watched a lot of I Am Jazz in homeroom) could be seen as normal, and more so, inspiring. but when i came in with an identity people found to be contradictory or "too confusing," it resulted in backlash. the entire definition of being "queer" is to be abnormal to what general society finds acceptable, and even then, some things are "too weird" to be tolerated. even amongst "weird" people. which i find to be a pretty troubling trend amongst queer leftist young people who's only real experience with an "lgbt community" has been online. here, we prioritize and find catharsis in labels and categories to the point where the "queer community" has become instead split between identities- the gays, the lesbians, the bis, the transes, the aros and aces and the whatnot. in the real world, it doesnt matter what flavor of queer you are, nobody's going to stop and ask before they call you a groomer and then legislate your freedom away. which is why we, as an online queer community, have to get rid of the notion that some identities are "too contradictory" or "dont exist" enough to be worth giving support and love.

im saying all this here... because, well, one: nobody wants to read a 40+ tweet thread about my personal brush with irl homophobia and how that radicalized me against community separation in general, and two: i am deeply afraid of 14 year olds on twitter with too much time on their hands. but also im saying this because it was infuriating yesterday to watch my entire twitter feed suddenly turn into a puritanical campaign against the very concept of someones identity and have the ability to say nothing. it disgusted me how quickly we turn against our own simply because the way they are is confusing to our tiny fucking peanut brains. and i know none of those people who went on that tirade will read this, but i felt like it needed to be said anyways.

don't let society's impulse to ostracize the confusing and strange win out over human decency. don't do conservatives' strategy to divide and conquer us for them. a person's identity not being comprehensible to you is not inherently an attack on who you, yourself, are. you are your identity and you should stand up for it, and you should stand up for others' identities too. punch your bullies in the nose.

long live the confusing, the contradictory, and most importantly, the queer.

#habeas speaks #discourse #oh no hes on a soapbox again guys look out #hey sqlumi if you see this ever i hope you know that i think youre cool as hell for giving a middle finger to the entire operation #sorry so few people jumped to your defense and that you had to delete your twitter ik how hard it is to build a following there #aaaaanyways #pinning this for a day or two just bc

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sugawhaaa · 10 months

Text

JUNGSU X READER

Karma tastes so sweet

🍫PAIRING:: switch!Jungsu x switch!fem!reader (other members are present but are only around for a few seconds)

🍬WARNINGS:: smut (I think this is officially my nastiest fanfic 😭)

🌸GENRE:: smut, blow job, oral, (Face sitting???) Lots of cum idk

💫WORD COUNT:: 2,323 (so satisfying sjsjsj)

A/N:: so tomorrow is my birthday and as I was writing this I was like I need there to be reason for Jungsu to stay home and my totally big brain went "let's pretend tomorrow is your birthday in this." And boom there u have it folks. Fanfic tip 101

SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHILE READING

Gunil POV

"Why am I doing this again?" Gunil groaned to himself as he found the perfect chocolate. He had been looking for a chocolate laced with an aphrodisiac. Why did he want it? No one really knows except for the fact he has a girlfriend that he's been getting comfortable with lately but he had never thought his worst fear would become a reality.

He ordered a box of 6 aphrodisiac chocolates from a rather sketchy website and it said that they'd arrive in a week. He relaxed knowing that it was going to arrive on a Saturday so he'd be home all day to make sure no one else got a hold of his precious chocolate.

Your POV

There was a knock on the door and Jungsu got up to answer it. Jungsu requested that he take the next two days off of work and the company had no reason to say no. Today is your dating anniversary and tomorrow was your birthday so you had an excuse. Today the two of you were simply hanging out and cuddling, watching movies, baking etc

You were going to the door before Jungsu stopped you.

"It might be a surprise for your birthday!" He said cheekily so you waited for him in the kitchen. Jungsu returned with a cardboard box in his hand. It was the average size but whatever was in it was small because any slight movement in the box made a loud clunk noise. "I have no idea what this is," he shrugged as he set it on the table in front of the couch you were sitting on. "But it is addressed to us." Jungsu said, sitting next to you.

"None of the members said anything about ordering anything?" You shrugged your shoulders as Jungsu set the box on his lap. You looked up at him with a smirk "you gonna open it?" You said as nudged his arm.

"You know me too well. Even if it's a gift for you tomorrow is your birthday anyway," he said as he tore the cardboard open to reveal a small red and pink box. On it there was a label that said "velvet pleasure" with fancy cursive writing. Based on the box itself it was something sexy. Maybe a sex toy? But it was so small…

Jungsu's face started heating up and you could see it as clear as day. "This yours?" You teased him.

"No!" He freaked out before picking the box up to examine it.

"Then why is your face so red?" You said leaning closer to him.

"Because this is most likely one of the members' packages and we just opened it! And I mean look at it," he blushed and looked away from you. You took the box from his hands to read it.

"Damn it, it's written in Chinese…" there were directions on it but it was all in Chinese.

"Maybe there's a paper inside that has other languages?" Jungsu said as he leaned in to look at the box in your hands. You opened it up and found chocolate. "Oh." You said in unison at the harmless product. Jungsu picked one up to examine it. It was brown with milk chocolate stripes around it. He popped it in his mouth and critiqued it as he ate it before shrugging. "Tastes fine to me," with that Jungsu grabbed a heart shaped one and took a bite. Pink jell dripped out of it. His eyes lit up as he held up for you to see. You gave him a surprised look before he ate the second half.

You gave him a questioning look before he shrugged again. "I'm not dead, I don't know why you're so worried."

"I just think it might be something else…" You mumbled before he stood up. He put the chocolate in the cupboard before going back to the couch with you. You observed him closely but half an hour passed and he had no side effects. You decided to relax a bit and continue to enjoy your time alone with Jungsu. After about an hour since he took the chocolate he started moving around a lot. Like he couldn't get comfortable? You asked if he was alright and he insisted that he was perfectly all right. You were suspicious but you decided to let him be.

His face was all red, he was coughing and clearing his throat constantly, he shifted positions 24/7 so you finally spoke up again. You paused the movie you were watching and turned to face him. "What is up with you, your acting so weird." You exclaimed.

"You were that chocolate is fucked up!" He whined as he dramatically flopped his head onto your thighs.

"W-what?" You said slightly scared at his strange behavior.

"Ever since I ate those chocolates I've been so hard," he whined into your lap as you placed your hand on his back. You shook your head with a sigh.

"I knew it was an aphrodisiac…"

"A what?"

"Aphrodisiac. It's essentially a type of food that makes you horny and extenuates pleasure and sensitivity." You explained as he whined quietly. "If we don't do anything about this you're going to feel horrible," you explained as you propped him up against the couch. He looked up at you with doe eyes just begging for your touch and it melted your heart. You sighed and shook your head again "what am I going to do with you?"

"Hopefully fuck me." Jungsu said with a smirk.

"Horny and still cocky," you said as you spread his legs for you to sit on like your throne. Just the feeling of your weight and warmth on his legs made him shiver. You took off your cardigan "What should I do first?" You thought to yourself aloud like he was your fuck doll. Jungsu just whimpered as he clawed at your hips.

"Touch me please." He whined aimlessly trying to get you to sit on his dick.

"Fine since you said please," you smirked as you instantly stripped him. Taking a moment to look at his body that was just begging for your touch. You then went down on your knees and licked all up his length. Make him moan deep and loud before he covers his mouth. You hardly even touched him and he's already a mess. This aphrodisiac really works…

He teased his tip, small little cat licks, and he was just a mess. Rocking his head back and forth on the cushions of the couch as his back arched. It was quite the sight. You decided to wrap your mouth around him but only going so far up.

"Fuck. Please~" he mumbled as he messed with his dark hair. Grasping it like his life depends on it. You slowly moved your mouth all the way up his cock and you alright felt his orgasm building in your mouth. He distortedly moaned out your name, curse words and words of desire.

"I wanna cum, please, please," he'd whine out repeatedly and you didn't plan on stopping him. As you felt his high coming closer you used one of your hands to play with his base, his entire cock couldn't fit in your mouth so you resulted in your hands and he definitely liked it. Loud moans came from his throat. Loud, raspy, deep, long, slow everything. He was a wreck for you and to no one's surprise he came all down your throat. A lot.

This aphrodisiac had a powerful effect on him not only mentally but clearly physically.

Despite him filling your mouth to the brim you kept bobbing your head up and down him. You then slipped your lips off his soaked dick to swallow his cum. As you felt the warm liquid go down your throat, Jungsu whined for your mouth around him again.

So you did just as he asked. Shoving his entire length in your mouth making you choke lightly. Before you started moving. Jungsu was a mess of words. He couldn't get two words out without praising you.

"So good-fuck, fuck!" He moaned out as used your free hand to rub his thigh. "More, more, more, more please~" he said faster than you could process but after registering his pleads you picked up the pace. Your mouth moving at a rapid pace as your tongue swirled around him. Surprisingly he came again, and perhaps even more than the last time.

You thought it was impossible but there was more arousal in your mouth than ever before. You choked on it and it dripped out of your mouth. You took his cock out of your mouth and he watched as strings of cum connected your mouth to his cock.

Long raspy groans escaped his lips as you attempted to swallow everything but mid way through you coughed and spat it out.

"You okay?" He said with a breathy voice as he knelt down to you. You nodded your head as you whipped some of the arousal off your lips and chin but it only spread it to your hands. "Are you sure?" He said putting his hand up to your cheek trying to wipe off more of his arousal.

"I'm positive. I never knew you could cum so much and moan so loud," you chuckled as you teased him. Jungsu stammered as his face turned more red. "It was hot." You said as you climbed up to sit on his lap.

"You were too…" he said as he turned his head away from your gaze.

"Awe are you shy because of how good I make you feel?" You teased while you held his chin, moving it to face you. You then kissed him as you pushed him down, his bare back against the couch. Your body's motions synchronized perfectly as you sloppily kissed him with passion. Your hands in his hair and on his chest, moans and whimpers echoed throughout the room.

"I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate," he whined as you moved to his neck. Sucking on his soft, tender skin. Soft little mewls came out of Jungsu's mouth as he rested his hands comfortably on your body while you put one hand around his neck, the other at his bare chest. His eyes shut tight as you licked him like a damn dog.

"Why do you regret it?" You uttered between licks, your hot breath sending shivers down his spine.

"I want you…" He whined, desperation in his voice.

"Well I'm right here, you do whatever you want to me." You said as you rocked your hips against his while your hands played with his hair. Low curses escaped his lips as his body tensed again. The sensation and friction made your stomach flip but this wasn't about you, your goal was to make Jungsu cum as much as possible.

"Sit on my face." He demanded out of nowhere.

"W-What?" You said clearly flustered at his request but the look in his eyes made you consider it. "I've never done that before…" you said as you shyly looked away while he stared up at you with admiration.

"Just sit, I'll do the rest," he said before grabbing your hips. You nodded and mumbled out an "okay" so you did just as he had said. You followed his hands and sat right on his lips. You kept some of your weight off him so he doesn't freaking suffocate but his hands kept pushing you down. Jungsu instantly started using his tongue to work miracles on you.

Your moans hitching as he circled your entrance, his stern hands massaging your hips. The vibration of his groans made you see stars, how is he so good at making you feel surreal pleasure? You started subconsciously grinding against his face as his tongue pressed against your clit. You covered your mouth with the palm of your hand as he sucked on your bud.

You then started to feel a knot forming in your lower stomach and you grabbed Jungsu's head to ground yourself. You blabbered out "I'm gonna cum," repeatedly to warn him so he picked up the pace. You tugged his hair to basically brace yourself before you came and started to relax. You realized that after he started sucking on you, all of your body weight was on his face. You got up off of him and immediately asked if he was okay.

"I'm more than okay now," he smirked with a little chuckle. You laughed a little as you laid on top of him.

"Did you really enjoy that?" You said as you examined his face that was covered in your liquid.

"Hell yeah," he said as he shut his eyes and laid his head back. While he was distracted you moved down his body slowly before stuffing his length into your mouth. It caught Jungsu off guard and he immediately moaned in a high pitched voice. He squabled around at the feeling on your tongue swirling around him and your hands on his hips. You started bobbing your head and the fast distorted whimpers from Jungsu made you go faster in hope of being rewarded with more blissful sounds. His response to your actions was to arch his back and moan. Loud. It probably echoed throughout the dorms.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck~" he moaned out as he grabbed the cushions harshly. "Oh my God, oh my-fuck- I'm gonna cum~"

To none of your surprise he came again, all over your face and on the couch. As you were cleaning up his mess with your tongue you saw Jungsu open his eyes and his jaw drop. Pure terror on his face. You sat up and turned around to see Jooyeon, Gaon and Junhan. Just as petrified as Jungsu. Junhan just walked right back out of the room while Gaon and Jooyeon just flipped out saying "What the HELL-"

The end :D

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