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zriasstuff · 24 days

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All because i liked a boy

Theodore Nott x reader

Before you scroll: THANK YOU FOR 314 FOLLOWERS RAHHH <<33 (the pi number is perfect) and special shoutout to @babygoddam who ALWAYS likes my shit first, you a real one. Feel absolutely free to send in requests (totally not because im running out of ideas)!!!!

Summary: Theo is dating Pansy, but is also seeing you secretly behind her back. What happens when you get sick of that and present him an ultimatum. Will it be her or you? And what if a unexpected friendship develops from all this?

It’s your last year at hogwarts, so that makes you about 17/18 yo.

Everything about your clandestine meetups behind the quidditch field was morally wrong. As you’re walking up to your meetup spot, you feel the urge to stop yourself and go back to your dorm. You want to, and most importantly should stop making the same mistake again and again. But your lack of self control would be the eventual death of you.

Actually, no. Theodore Nott would be the eventual death of you. He was the reason for your lack of self control.

The freezing January air made it impossible to breathe, your red nose hurting from every drawn breath. Shivers ran through your body, all the way to your head where you were experiencing a first hand brain freeze. How was it possible that this is what your life has come to.

Through the foggy air, you eventually make out a tall and lean figure, approaching you with arms crossed and head down. Death has arrived.

“My bad on suggesting to meet up here in this crappy weather, but my dorm is occupied”, he breathed out while clouds of vapor escaped his mouth.

“What about the library then?”, you suggested. Any place inside would be better than this.

“No”, he decisively rejects your idea while shaking his head.

“Why not”, you ask.

“You know why”, he says, sounding increasingly annoyed.

“I don’t” You do. You know exactly why. You want to hear him say it.

“Don’t do this”

“I really don’t know”

“Stop, I really don't want to do this right now” Theo let out a repressed huff with his head lowered. One of his hands that was in his jacket pocket began ruffling through his hair. Whenever he was uneasy he did that.

“Fine”, you let it go. Truth be told, you were also afraid that you wouldn’t be able to digest what Theo would say. On one side, you knew that this was wrong. But on the other hand, admitting it was wrong meant that you would have to end it, otherwise it would make you guys horrible people.

Not that you weren’t horrible people now, but saying it just made it all the more real. Real is bad. Reality sucks. It was easier to hide in a bubble.

Theo looks you in the eyes again, assessing that this probably wasn’t a great time to do anything. But he didn’t want to make you feel like trash either.

“So how was your day?”, he awkwardly asks.

“We don’t have to do this, don’t pretend you actually care”, you sigh. His attempt was meant well, but it was futile. He could never make you feel fully cared for. And that was alright. You know you don’t deserve it anyway.

“I do care”, he exhales while nailing you with his intense stare.

“For your dirty mistress? How naive do you think i am”

“So you do want to do this right now” You thought you didn’t, but today seemed to be especially hard on you. Perhaps it was the stress from classes, perhaps it was the passive aggressive letter you got from your parents, or perhaps it was Theo barely acknowledging your existence in between classes.

“If not now, when then? I'm getting sick of not talking about it” It was time to face reality and put your fears aside.

“I thought you were okay with this”, he raised his voice confusingly.

“With being your side chick who can’t be seen or associated with you in public? Am I okay with seeing you prance around with Pansy, while I have to meet you out here like this?”

“Hey I'm not the bad guy who is forcing you to do this”

Theodore Nott wasn’t forcing you to do anything. No. He would just call you baby behind closed doors. Buy you flowers. Secretly spend nights with you. Anything a boyfriend would do, just without the emotional attachment.

And Pansy. His girlfriend he actually prances around with. His girlfriend who thinks she means the world to him. This slippery slope with Theodore down to where you were now started approximately four months ago. He had gotten into a really bad fight with her and at a party he started flirting with you. He lied about having broken up with her.

The worst part— you didn’t even find out up until two months later. In those two months he had obviously made up with her and didn’t end it, but he was sneaky. You had to give him credit for having juggled the two of you for that long without either noticing. You guess it helped that you were in Gryffindor. But after two months Theo got tired of being on edge all the time, so he decided to make his relationship with Pansy public again.

Why didn't you end it with him back then? Good question. All you remember is a bunch of unconvincing bullshit from him. But as unconvincing as it was, he gave you a sense of comfort. And although he didn’t make you feel fully cared for, he was still better than your supposed friends. Those two months you lived in the unknown were special, you had to admit. You felt special. But even the brightest spark eventually dies out.

“I know you’re not forcing me, but I'm getting fucking exhausted of this. And I feel terrible about Pansy”

“Why do you even care about her?”

“WHY DON’T YOU?!”, you suddenly burst out. Yes, he chose her over you because he had been together with her before you got together with him. Admittedly, he’s treating her better than you. But you don’t hate her. She actually didn't do anything. And unlike you, she isn't actively hurting you. It was so frustrating to know that you were choosing some guy over the “girls protect girls” vow. All because you couldn’t handle being alone again. Pathetic.

“Do you realize how ridiculous you sound Theo? Saying you like both of us, but in reality you treat both of us like shit.”

“Well what do you want me to do?”, he angrily asked.

“I'm giving you an ultimatum. Either you break up with me and stay with her. Or you tell her and deal with her breaking up with you. If she doesn’t, and if you also don’t, then I will anyway”

Perhaps it sounded a bit too extreme at the moment. You were definitely the last person to talk about morals, but it wasn’t too late yet. In the long run, it would benefit Theo too. A huge weight was finally going to be lifted off of your shoulders.

“Please, you’re not thinking straight”, he pitifully pleads in a last attempt to escape his responsibility and ultimately reality.

“I mean this works just fine. Pansy is happy, I can make you happy, and i promise you won’t feel like a dirty mistress”

A scoff is all you’re able to respond with. “You got until the end of the week, otherwise I will immediately cut off any ties with you”

Are you as important to Theo as he says you are? It’s wrong, but innerly you wish that he would break up with Pansy without telling her. That would be ideal for you. Freaking Theodore Nott, who showed you what kind of person you really were.

The next day, you caught Theo and Pansy making out in the hallways. “Ugh get a room”, you think to yourself. The day after, still no change. And on the day after that, everything was still the same. And as one could imagine, on the fourth day, still nothing.

With Friday approaching, Theo would only have two more days to make his decision according to your ultimatum. Perhaps he thought that you didn’t mean it seriously, but you did. You swore to yourself that if after two days still nothing happened, you’d break up with him. “Break up”, as in quit being fuck buddies, it wasn’t like you were in a real relationship.

Consumed by your own thoughts, you apparently missed McGonagall's announcement. Suddenly half the class was packing their stuff and getting up.

“Hey what’s going on”, you ask a guy sitting in front of you.

“Did you seriously not pay attention?”, he hisses.

“What do you think, smart-ass, since I’m asking you right now?” This was not the time to be lecturing you.

“We got a new seating arrangement, she just read out all the pairs who are going to be sitting next to each other. I think you’re with Pansy”

Shit. You swallow hard at the mention of her name.

“You sure?”, you ask dumbfounded.

“I mean she’s walking up to you right now”, he says shrugging his shoulders, “anyway gotta go”

You hope to fuck that he was wrong. But after turning around frantically, you observe that Pansy was in fact walking up to you. Out of all forty students, of course you would be next to her.

“Heyyy, looks like we’re going to be stuck with each other for a semester. Cute bracelet by the way, where’d you get it?”, she greets you in quite a chipper tone.

“You’re boyfriend actually got it for me after our first time”, is what you would say if you didn’t lie. Instead you reply “thanks, a friend got it for me but I don’t know from where”

“Y’know I actually have a really similar one”, she says as she’s sitting down next to you and pulls up her sleeve, “Theo gave it to me”. It was basically the same bracelet, just in gold instead of silver. So, what were the chances that Theo bought several bracelets in the same shop and just gave them out to whoever he fancied at the moment. Not even the slightest effort.

“How sweet”, you force yourself to say in the happiest tone you can manage.

“So what’s going on in your life?”, she continues the conversation, “I just realized that I barely know anything about you, even though we’ve known each other since year one”

You almost want to say “trust me, you don’t want to know what’s going on in my life”. Instead you say “nothing much, I’ve been thinking about maybe trying out for the quidditch team”

“Oh how cool, I’ve seen you fly in class, you totally should try out. You know during the last game between Slytherin and Gryffindor Blaise did this really funny thing where…”

What Blaise did, you’ll never know because you tuned out. But what you do know now is that Pansy is actually an incredibly nice person. In just five minutes she has shown you support, complimented you and began talking to you like you were her new friend. Perhaps she thought you could be friends. After the lesson ended, you felt almost carefree. You guys barely got any work done, but instead gossiped about anything that came to mind. Time practically passed away in seconds, and you were just hugging Pansy goodbye before going separate ways. Nothing felt weird at all until…

As you’re about to pull away from the hug, you catch Theo staring intensely from the corner of your eye. Was he suspecting something? Truth be told, you could’ve inquired more about his and Pansy’s relationship, but you decided to not be nosy. The less you knew, the better.

Later on, after you spent hours feeling like an empty shell of a human being, you slouch to your dinner table. During the day your thoughts felt like a huge, untieable knot, so you decided to ignore everything. When all classes ended, you immediately hopped into bed, rolling around, slowly rotting. Feeling nothing was better than thinking too much. There was simply too much. There was the question of whether you were a terrible human being, wondering if you should completely rebrand yourself, thinking about what Theo would do and about how it would affect Pansy, and so much more. In the end, nothing would be answered by just thinking about it.

Even while eating dinner, you have to restrain yourself from letting your most inner thoughts wander. Though, Pansy sure added fuel to the fire by smiling at you. Genuinely flashing you the purest, brightest smile. For no reason at all. Just to be nice probably. Instead of smiling back like a normal human being, you almost choke on your water.

This was it. You couldn’t pretend to be unbothered. You had to end it. You hated that option because it meant that Theo could escape from his responsibility, but it also meant that you could redeem yourself. Right? After all, you also carried some of that responsibility.

To contact Theo, you wrote “meet me at astronomy tower, important!” on a small piece of paper and slipped it into his hand after dinner was over. Hopefully no one saw that transaction. Since everyone always pushed another, it was only natural to bump into someone and touch their hand or arm.

Halfway on your way to the tower, you question if all this had been a huge mistake. Would you even have the guts to do what you had set out to do ? Theo could be so goddamn persuasive sometimes.

On your last few steps you lose a bit of balance and barely make it to the balcony, feeling like you would collapse any time soon. It even takes you a second to realize that Theo was already there. Before he turned around you just thought that it was some random guy.

“How were you faster than me”, you huff completely out of breath.

“I have my ways”, he says. “So why’d you want to meet me here”, he asks, seeming disturbingly nonchalant. As if he couldn’t guess the possible reasons.

“I want this to be as quick and painless as possible”, you begin. You gain an eyebrow raise from the otherwise collected looking guy.

“Let’s just officially end this. You and me. We are officially over.”

You were pretty sure that you didn’t sound as confident as you wish you had, but nonetheless you had done it. Officially calling the breaks would be your ticket to a normal life again. Whew did that feel freeing. But this wasn’t fully over yet.

“I thought it was up to me”, Theo sounded agitated now.

“Well i changed my mind”

“That’s not fai-“

“Seriously, Theo, you want to talk about fair ?”

“So what if i told you that I would’ve chosen you over Pansy”, he tells you while throwing his arms around. “You just want to give up like a coward?”, he spits at you, blowing up in anger and disbelief. His widening eyes and clenching jaw told you were enough to convince you that he was full on serious.

Is that what you were doing? Giving up on something genuine? You never thought about it in that way. Sure, your connection to Theo was undeniably strong, but were you ready for actual commitment?

“You don’t get to say that”, you defensively say as you take a step back. He immediately gets in your face again.

With tears forming in your eyes, threatening to spill out, and quivering lips, you try your best to curve your mouth upward and take your last stand.

“I am not giving up. We never had anything to begin with because you were a coward.”

He steps even closer, his nose touching yours. His dead brown eyes looked hauntingly beautiful in the moment. “But don’t you see, I want to give us a try”

“I CAN’T DO THIS THEO”, you yell in his face, not caring that your tears streamed down your face. All that bottled up anger came down to this. “WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, THERE IS NO US.” Just as you say that, you frantically tear off his gifted silver bracelet and throw it in his face. “We’re done Theodore” are your last words before storming off.

When you notice him following, you run even faster, yelling “STOP FOLLOWING ME FOR FUCKS SAKE”. Eventually you stop hearing his footsteps, and you allow yourself to break down in an empty corridor. You keep muttering “it’s for the best” as a way of reassurance, but you don’t even know if that’s true anymore.

That night you went to sleep, wanting nothing but to drown out everything. Instead you got a fucking nightmare about the entire events at the astronomy tower. Only, you were watching from the third person point of view this time.

Luckily, as you wake up, you realize that it was a Saturday, so you could be in peace a little longer. Apparently you also woke up pretty late because you were alone in the dorm. Great, your “friends” didn’t even bother pretending to include you. It was always like that. They were nice to your face, but actively excluded you. What was it about you that alienated you from everyone?

*BANG*

HOLY FUCK.

You suddenly jolt up and watch Pansy come through the door. She looked furious and extremely messy. You notice her heavy eye bags and smeared mascara.

“YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK YOUR BRACELET WAS ON THEOS NIGHTSTAND?!?”, she shouts, probably loud enough for everyone in Gryffindor to hear.

“What are you talking ab-” It was mid sentence when you realize that you in fact threw your bracelet in Theo’s face yesterday and that Pansy recognised it from McGonagall's class.

There was no point in lying. “Pansy please I can explain”, you desperately choke out, feeling a knot in your throat.

“Fuck you. I actually liked you, but i guess you are just another snake”

Before you can actually explain yourself, she already left. All by yourself, you begin to sob. Perhaps your “friends” were right in excluding you. You wouldn’t even want to be friends with yourself.

This mess you were in— what if you never went to that party where you met Theo? But that wasn’t even the most important part. You had to find a way to make it up to Pansy.

Argh this is it…for now ? So if you read the deleted original fic “Baby”, you will recognise the first part, but not the rest. I asked if you wanted a pt.2, but then i realised i could just make all of it into one, longer part. I really really hope you found this if you read “Baby”. And who knows maybe this storyline will continue.

Also thank you for the people who commented, i tagged y’all (except for two i couldn’t find), so you could find this more easily. @onyxwingsandcrowblackdreams @princessofsilverandserpents @pumpkinchee @laur20a23 @ladyblablabla @the-mrs-malik-styles @boomdolle @mmeskywalker

#slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys x you #slytherin boys #harry potter oneshot #theodore nott #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott fic #theo nott #theo nott x reader #theo nott x you #theo nott x y/n #lorenzo zurzolo #slytherin boys react #slytherin boys fanfiction #theodore nott fanfiction

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onlyhuis · 12 days

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study buddies

member — junhui x f reader genre — smut, college au word count — 1.6k synopsis — with finals right around the corner it's important that you know the vocab for the exam, and your boyfriend has the perfect study method to help you. warnings — descriptions of female anatomy (not super detailed this time), choking, marking, hair pulling, fingers in mouth, dry humping, teasing/very light degradation?, he's a little bit subby in this one (m receiving for all the above warnings) notes — requested by @pinkhwacherries & also by @tigerhoshi25 — thanks to @onlymingyus for making sure i don't sound insane !! this is feral and wildly self indulgent i hope yall like it. also very sorry to bio/med readers i'm an english major so if the anatomy terms i used are wrong plsplspls ignore it i am but a humble incompetent smut writer. if you liked this and want to see more, be sure reblog with comments or send me an ask! <3

"baby, you're never gonna pass your exam if you don't stop staring at me and start studying," jun giggles, pointing at your textbook from where he sits at the edge of your bed.

you pout and cross your arms, leaning back in your chair. you had been zoning out, watching jun play games on his phone while you're supposed to be studying. "it's not my fault you're prettier to look at."

he blushes and hides his face, leaning over your desk. "are you sure you wouldn't rather look at—" he pauses to read from your textbook, horribly mispronouncing the vocabulary, "—the sternohyoid muscle?”

"i give up," you say with a groan, leaning your head back against the chair. "it's so boring, i hate this class. why did i even take anatomy?"

he shrugs. "well, boring or not, you'll feel worse if you fail the class and have to retake credits.”

you turn to glare at him, but you know he's right. with a sigh you lean over your textbook, your head in your hands as you stare down at the words.

jun clears his throat, and you glance up at him to see what he wants now. "would it help you remember if you had… a real life example?" he says, almost shyly.

"and where exactly am i gonna find one?" you ask, cocking your eyebrow at him.

gently he takes your hand and brings it up to his neck, pressing your palm against his adam's apple. automatically you wrap your fingers around his neck, like you've done so many times before but never in this context. it catches you off-guard, your stomach beginning to warm at the feeling of his throat moving beneath your hand.

"does that feel better?" he asks, his voice suddenly a little more rough than it usually is.

you blink, trying to remember what you’re supposed to be doing right now. “better, as opposed to…?”

you can see the warmth creeping into his cheeks, but he doesn’t take back his offer. “is it helping you focus more, i mean?”

you pause, your eyes flitting over his face. exams are the absolute last thing on your mind right now. “yes—no. yes?”

he slides your textbook off the desk and onto his lap, never breaking eye contact until he looks down at the page. “submandibular triangle,” he reads.

“huh?”

he repeats the words, covering the diagram with his hand to block your view. “i’m quizzing you.”

“right.” your mind goes blank. “um… here.”

you reposition your hand, pressing your thumb gently underneath his chin. he lets out a quiet gasp, and your fingers tighten ever so slightly at the sound.

“larynx?” you move your fingers lower, and he quickly glances down at the page again, picking out another. “external jugular vein.”

“you’re giving me easy ones,” you say, lowering your hand a few centimeters. you run your thumb along the side of his throat, gently tracing the vein that bulges out. “here.”

he doesn’t have another word prepared, so you take it upon yourself to shift your hand, putting pressure on a section of his neck with your fingers.

his eyes flutter shut with a soft sigh, and the sudden urge to bite him overtakes you. ever so slowly you lean closer, your lips hovering next to him. you can hear his breath catch in his throat, feel his pulse quickening under your fingertips.

“i thought you were helping me study,” you say in a low voice, almost a whisper. your warm breath so close against his neck makes his skin prickle as his face flushes a deep shade of red.

suddenly he opens his eyes, looking down at you through his lashes. “fine. soft palate.” there’s a hint of mischief in his gaze that you recognize far too well.

you narrow your eyes at him, knowing exactly what he’s doing. “i can’t reach that one, jun. it’s inside your mouth.”

“and?”

“and i don’t think shoving my fingers in your mouth is going to help me remember all these for my exam.”

he shrugs and you can feel the muscles in his neck move, your grip still tight around him. “i think it’s worth a try.”

“you’re being difficult, junnie.” your fingers tighten again, a barely audible whimper escaping from his throat.

“maybe that’s on purpose.”

“and why would you be doing that? seems like that would make you a bad study partner.”

“maybe because i want you to kiss me instead.”

you shift your hand, cupping his neck with your palm. “well, how do you expect me to do that if my fingers are in your mouth?”

he pushes your textbook off his lap and onto the floor, giggling like it's the stupidest question he's ever heard and the answer should be obvious. “take them out first.”

you groan and pull him closer to you by the neck, crashing your lips against his. you can feel him smiling against your mouth and you know he's pleased with himself for this, so you squeeze your fingers just a little bit more until he moans.

you pull away from his mouth and start kissing his throat instead, starting at his jaw just beneath his chin and moving your lips downward. he groans and you feel his pulse jump under your tongue as you reposition your hand to press your thumb against his adam's apple.

your tongue swipes at the soft, pretty skin of his neck as you dig your fingers in and tilt his head to the side, giving you a better angle to begin sucking. he leans his head back, easily complying.

you shift from your chair and onto his lap, straddling him with your legs on either side of his thighs. you can feel his bulge pressing against your tummy as you sit down, and it gives your ego a boost knowing he's already rock hard.

the thought crosses your mind suddenly that it's a good thing you're wearing your thick fuzzy pajama pants instead of shorts like you normally do; otherwise he'd definitely be able to feel your pussy throbbing against his lap, and you're fighting not to give in to the desire so easily. you're practically dripping onto his lap, your panties sticking to you with wetness, but he doesn't need to know that just yet. right now, all you want him to focus on is how good your fingers feel on him and how much you're gonna make him regret teasing you.

his hands immediately grip your waist when you sit down, pulling you closer against his body. you start to suck harder on his neck, determined to make sure the marks you leave on him will stay for days afterwards. god, you better pass this fucking test.

you bite down on a little patch of skin and he bucks his hips up into you, fingertips squeezing your hips until his knuckles turn white. he groans loudly, a stream of barely comprehensible words flowing from his lips.

“will you be quiet?” you say, a little exasperated, but really you like the way he can't control his mouth. “you're supposed to be helping me focus.”

“i am he—” he starts, but you cut him off by sticking two fingers in his mouth, pressing down on his tongue.

“now, shut up.”

he moans in surprise but quickly accepts the intrusion, and you feel the electricity in your fingertips as he purses his lips and swirls his tongue around them. you have to hold back a moan yourself at the feeling, his spit coating your fingers and his tongue tickling your skin.

you let out a short, breathy laugh at his eagerness, rewarding him with a grind of your hips against his bulge. “good boy.”

you can see the lust flashing across his eyes at your words and it only makes you want to mark him more, finally removing your hand from around his neck and moving your fingers up to tug on the hair at the base of his scalp.

you shift your head from the side of his neck to the front, kissing up and down the column of his throat and delighting in the way he whimpers so prettily at your touch.

your exam is at the furthest back of your mind by now, but still you can't help but recall the vocab words and diagrams as you grip him. each muscle that contracts when he tries to moan around your fingers, each bone in his throat that you run your hand over, trying to ingrain it in your memory.

finally you pull your fingers out from between his lips, and he lets out a choked exhale when you wipe the spit off on his cheek, running the back of your hand along his chin to brush away his drool.

you pat his jaw gently, grinning at how out of breath he is. “you changed my mind. you're not a bad study partner, after all.”

and later that night he proves himself again, fucking you into your tiny twin mattress, his hand pressed against the back of your neck so you can feel the same pressure points as he did. and again the next morning before you leave, letting you kiss him until your mouth goes dry and trace every inch of him with your fingers.

after all that studying, needless to say, you ace your exam.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

taglist will be in the comments under this fic since tumblr is having problems with mentions, i can't add them as i usually do. if you'd like to join and be notified when i post a new fic, you can fill out this short form here! :)

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dufferpuffer · 2 months

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Longbottoms boggart wasn't Snape.

I mean you'd think this would be obvious enough - but people who hate Snape bring it up as their sort of trump card. "He was so bad he was a 13yr olds biggest fear!" No. He wasn't. Boggarts don't quite work like that. Boggarts are not themselves your worst fear - they make you FEEL your worst fear. Hermione isn't actually scared of McGonagall. (I'm sure alot of first years are scared of her though I mean she is strict and stern and a little scary at first.) Did she have some irrational fear of suddenly failing all her classes? Yeah, maybe a little bit - but it is BECAUSE she is scared of not being good enough. From the first book we see her struggling to fit in with her peers. She is muggleborn, she learned she was a witch so suddenly that she poured herself into being the most perfect witch she could.

Professor McGonagall, a stern and strict witch she respects, telling her she isn't good enough despite all of her best efforts makes her FEEL her worst fear. It has nothing to do with Minerva personally - honestly it could probably be replaced with Dumbledore or someone... its just she has far more interaction with Minerva.

SO - Longbottom and Snape: How do I know that Snape isn't his absolute worst fear? Because he still attends Potions every fucking week!!! Do you think RON could attend Charms if it was run by a spider?!? He can pass Snape in the hall, he can sit in the same room as Snape, he can even be teased and bullied by Snape. His parents were tortured to insanity by Death Eaters. Severus Snape is NOT his worst fear, that's stupid. Snape just makes him FEEL his worst fear - like McGonagall makes Hermione feel hers. SO what is Neville worst fear? I think the clue comes with him quickly saying that he also wouldn't want the Boggart to turn into his grandma. Inadequacy. Neville has never been good enough. He has low self worth. The tiniest bits of praise overwhelm him. He never wins any house points and losing some devastates him. He got his magic late, his family kept trying to tease it out of him, thought he was maybe a squib. He has a proud legacy to uphold and he is terrified he cannot. He is the worst potions student Snape has ever had.

Snape makes Neville feel inadequate. His grandmother makes him feel inadequate. But mix them together... and suddenly these two very scary people that seem to have such control over his life... look a little ridiculous.

DO you think Lupin is LITERALLY scared of the moon...? Or does the moon make him feel powerless and dangerous and inhumane? DO you think Harry is LITERALLY scared of Dementors...? Or is he scared of how powerless he is against the horrible way they make him feel - the trauma they bring up from the deep recesses of his mind?

Snape was not so horrific, so awful, so scary, so mean - that he as a man became Nevile's worst fear. He, like his grandma, makes him feel inadequate.

#neville longbottom #severus snape #is say headcanon but no this is just canon #people need better media literacy #heres a headcanon though: Lupin actually is a little sacred of the moon. he blocks the sight of it with his hand if he goes out at night.#hp #hermione granger #remus lupin #harry potter

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kaerumi · 9 months

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Hello dear, I was wondering if you can do some yandere for the very infamous OP men shanks, mihawk,ace,and sabo with normal y/n who's younger than them in separate senariors..

Y/N traits : innocent, sweetheart, warm personality, enchanted beauty with extremely cutie pie face and amazing warm and calm voice that melts the snow from its sweetness it's make anyone feel at ease only by hearing it , it's one of the most reasons why those men had gone insane over her ,why they want to possess her at any cost .

TY and have a good day ☺️.

TW/CW: Yandere, Age gap is up to 3 years, obsession, implied murder, implied poisoning, mention of murder & arson, manipulation (for Sabo)

Notes: I'll be honest I have no clue how to do an innocent reader. And it's gonna be GN Sorry I don't particularly do Female readers Also sorry for not writing in so long :^

Shanks

Shanks was a popular Model, he can flirt with anyone without hesitation.

Then there was you, you weren't popular at all. When he saw you he felt the urge to just... Take you.

He felt jealous of the guys around you that soaked in your attention, in your voice and innocence and especially your beauty.

He just needed it. Needed you.

Eventually he started obsessing over you trying to find every photo there was of you, eventually it got worse

Just hope for both your innocence and sanity you don't meet him.

Until you did.

And suddenly you started to notice people around you get killed, you somehow trusted the red bloody haired man with your safety.

"You'll be fine I'm here after all! All you need is me sweetheart."

After all what did you know?

You're innocent after all

And that's what made Shanks' job of getting you to be his more easier.

Mihawk

Mihawk was a famous swordsman and you were always interested in swords so naturally you took interest in Mihawk.

Unfortunately he took a interest in you as well.

You ended always staying behind the classes because of how much trouble you had with sword, you'd have small conversations with Mihawk.

Slowly Mihawk started to know everything about you and wrote of it down in a notebook that was always locked in a case.

When someone annoyed you too much or confessed to you they suddenly would fall ill and be unable to attend.

Due to Mihawk naturally being cold people didn't notice anything different about him and you didn't know better.

Though you slowly started to blame yourself because people around you would get ill and naturally they ended up dying to the illness.

"My dear... It's not your fault, they naturally fell ill. It is not your fault and anyone who is saying such things is a horrible person who is just jealous. It is unfortunate they fell ill yes but there was nothing you could do. My dear..."

You never knew why they fell ill, and you may never know.

Maybe it's better if you never did anyways.

Ace

Ace was Ace, he's a popular play boy in the town but all he did was flirt and play with hearts.

That was before you came along.

He knew he needed you once first meeting your eyes.

You were most certainly more cuter than anyone else's hearts he's played with.

He wasn't gonna break your heart, no. He could never, he was gonna make sure he was the only one in your heart not matter what he had to do.

He would do whatever you wanted to do or needed.

He'd gladly kill with no hesitation.

Want him to stab that guy who catcalled you? Done.

Want him to burn down a place that has bad memories? Done before you could mention it.

No one went near Ace when the missing people news started getting known, knowing how cold he got when it came to that, they tried to warn you how cold he could be.

You always laugh it off and hang out with him anyways.

He'd act like nothing was happening.

Why read the news when you already know it before anyone else?

You wake up from your nap when you started hearing the news "Mmmh?" Ace turns off the Tv "Don't worry about it my love just go back to sleep."

Sabo

Sabo was the second in command of a powerful business.

Once you joined everything changed.

However unlike the other three Sabo wouldn't kill, no. Sabo wouldn't want his hand or gloves dirty and blood stains too.

Sabo would figure out your favorite things to do and food and everything and give it all to you.

He'd spoil you with everything you'd ever wanted.

He'd help you with a lot of things

He sublely manipulates you into being dependent on him and him alone.

No one would dare go near you if they cared for their job or reputation.

No one went near Sabo either, Sabo didn't mind this, it just meant he could give all his attention to you.

He tested it once day by hiding on purpose.

When you realized Sabo wasn't there you got really nervous and got a bit upset, until Sabo popped

up and helped you again which you immediately calmed down when he did.

Sabo smiled at you, he was glad that his plan was working and working well.

"Please don't leave me alone..." "I promise I won't ever again my angel..." "Thank you Sabo." "Anything for you. My sweet Angel."

#one piece x reader #sabo x reader #one piece yandere #op sabo #one piece #portgas d ace x reader #ace x reader #shanks x reader #mihawk x reader #dracule mihawk #shanks #portgas d ace #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere one piece #Kaerumi's writing

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hellfire--cult · 4 months

Text

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

wc: 10.1k

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS: +18, suicide attempt, reader is suicidal, PAS (Physician Assisted Suicide), neglectful parents, weed and alcohol, feelings of loneliness, hurt/comfort (?), fluff, kissing, some mentions of nausea, smut implication, angst. So much angst.

Plot: Eddie was new to the group, and he connected with you after an unfortunate event. You were excited to finally put an end to your suffering, of all those years of feeling nothing, and you had made a list of things to do before going.

a/n: I cannot stress this enough, please, do not read if this will be triggering for you. If you read PAST the warnings, it is your own responsibility, and I will not hold myself accountable for it.

This is somewhat inspired by the movie and book Me Before You. So yeah, have fun.

Always reblog your artists, likes don't do much.

Please, Trust Me

Eddie came into the group a little bit late, so to speak.

He was assigned to do a project alongside Steve Harrington in Psychology class. College was just something Eddie wanted to focus on studying since he had a reputation of repeating his senior year two times in a row, but Steve was friendly. Eddie, well, he didn’t realize how badly he needed social interaction until then.

So Steve introduced him to his group. Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, and you. Now, Eddie got to know everyone, except yourself. As Nancy put it, you were in many extracurricular classes, so your time was limited. Eddie, of course, understood, but he also felt you were scared of him somehow. You always averted your gaze from him in the little moments you spent together, so he gave up on trying to talk further with you.

Holidays were approaching, and Eddie had the opportunity that his uncle was leaving the nice house he finally got to purchase near lover’s lake in Hawkins, his hometown, so he thought it would be a great idea to invite everyone over… Well, not everyone.

Since he thought you were scared of him, he believed the invitation would be rejected, but everyone else agreed to come over to his place. It was just a two-hour drive, and he couldn’t wait to get drunk and high with everyone else.

Robin told him that you didn’t have time anyway to assist, seeing that you were going to visit your mother for Christmas, so Eddie’s guilt vanished completely. He felt horrible for not inviting you, that’s why he asked Robin to ask you about your plans for Christmas.

So off they went, having a great time by the lake, drinking beer, eating grilled burgers and sausages, and then on Christmas night, the fireworks went off, and everyone was already drunk by that time, messaging loved ones and wishing them great holidays.

The next day, you called Robin, wishing her a happy Christmas. Eddie was packing the suitcase to go back to Indianapolis, when he overheard Robin tell you that they were spending New years there too, completely surprising him. He expected to return on the 26th, but he was excited to spend more time with his friends. Once again, you told Robin that it was fine since you were still at your mom’s.

And so, new years went by. Now on the 2nd of January, they all finally returned completely drained from all the alcohol and food, but still with smiles on their faces. Robin then turned to Eddie with an innocent smile on her face as she sat on the passenger’s seat.

“Eds, can you drive me to Y/N’s place? I want to show her the rocks we picked up at the lake, and I will likely stay the night at her apartment.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he rolled his own eyes.

“Okay, let’s take you to the rich girl’s place.” You explained to the group that you weren’t good with a roommate, so you rented a place near the campus to live in until your studies finished. Eddie realized you weren’t a middle-class person just by knowing that, and he doesn’t know why you would choose a college like this one instead of Harvard or something like that, as rich people do in movies.

Robin met you thanks to you being signed up to tutor her in a particular class she was struggling with. She and you immediately clicked, despite you acting a bit shy and reserved at first, as if not trusting Robin at all, like a scared animal in the wild meeting another species.

Once they arrived at your apartment complex, Robin once more looked at Eddie with a pouty lip.

“And help me with my bag? My shoulders hurt from swimming all week…” And once more, Eddie rolled his eyes, sighing as the two of them got out of his van and he went to the back to get hold of her bag, swinging it over his shoulder.

“You can just say you are lazy as fuck Buckley.” She giggled at his response and they both walked into the reception, calling the elevator to go up to your floor. Once they were at your door, Robin knocked a few times, only to be met with no response. Her smile faded slightly and she tried again, and once more, met with silence.

“Maybe she didn’t return from her mom’s.” And she bent down to look under your mat, finding the spare key. You told her she was welcome at any time, to simply look under the mat for the key and make herself comfortable, knowing Robin likes some quiet away from the dorms now and then.

She opened the door–

“Hey, you–”

And she and Eddie immediately winced at the strong smell of unwashed dishes or something of the sort.

“Jesus Christ, what is that smell? Did she forget to wash the dishes before leaving?” Eddie replied, looking over at the kitchen counter, his eyes furrowing together as he looked at a particular tray that was filled with gingerbread men cookies. They were all with a bit of fungus, and one had been bitten, one of its arms missing.

Robin closed the door behind her as she looked around, finding that there were bottles of different alcoholic beverages on the sink, a cup of ramen noodles on the coffee table in front of the TV, half-eaten, and then she spotted the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

She remembers how excited you were, buying your tree, telling her that you never had the chance of decorating one before because it wasn’t truly celebrated in your household. Dread immediately invaded her as she remembered that, slowly walking towards it and Eddie following behind, dropping Robin’s bag to the floor.

Robin gasped as she kneeled to the floor, finding different presents under the tree, one for each person in the group, including Eddie. His heart plummeted to the floor as Robin showed him the small present, and you didn’t even know what he liked, yet you bought something for him.

Robin then turned while getting up, looking towards the door of your bedroom that was shut. She rushed towards it and she felt her heart starting to want to come out of her mouth as she swung it open as quickly as she could.

And there you were, in your bed, resting, and Robin felt herself breathe in relief, but Eddie didn’t. Not when he noticed the bottle of wine next to you, on your nightstand.

“Maybe she didn’t think she was gonna go to her mom’s and she forgot about the cookies.” Robin said as if almost trying to convince herself. Trying to make a reasonable explanation other than the most horrible one that she could think of because of course, she doubted it when you said you were visiting your mom.

Because you mentioned to her that you two weren’t close.

Eddie slowly walked towards you, not caring about the smell that lingered in your room, knowing that you probably hadn’t showered or cleaned the place in a while. He looked down on you, tilting his head. You had the blankets all over you while you rested on your belly, eyes completely closed.

He raised a hand towards your face, under your nose, and his breathing stopped. Your breaths were slow, not even deep, and you were drooling, all over your pillow. He grabbed onto the edge of the blanket and Robin moved to stop him, yet he yanked it off.

“Robin… call 911.”

But Robin was frozen as she looked at your frame, her lip starting to shake as she inspected your right hand. A hand that was holding something that looked empty. Something that she saw was half full the last time she came over.

That orange flask that contained your sedatives.

And you chugged them down with alcohol.

Steve was rubbing Robin’s back as she sobbed into her hands, hunched over the chair of the waiting room. Eddie was on her other side, his leg bouncing up and down as he bit his nails. One day he was laughing with everyone and now he is waiting for some good news regarding your health, someone he barely knows, yet he is worried shitless for.

Loud heels were heard across the hallway, a woman in her late 40’s, wearing designer clothes, looking rather stern as she got closer to the door of the room you are in. Her arms are crossed as she stands next to it, tapping her heel on the floor, catching the attention of the three people sitting on the chairs.

“Excuse me?” Robin’s weak voice called out and the lady snapped her head towards her with an eyebrow raised up.

“Yes?”

“Who are you?”

“I am this girl’s mother. Who are you?”

And the three friends froze in their seats. It was your mother. The person you supposedly spent the holidays with, yet, she didn’t look concerned for you, but rather she looked angry, or disappointed.

“We– We’re her friends.” Robin replied with a small voice, because could she even say that? Do you deserve someone like her as a friend? Even as a partner? Someone who forgets what you told them almost a year ago? The woman scoffed, shaking her head.

“Friends? That is surprising. Were you there when she did this?” Her voice was cold, and anger started filling inside of Eddie’s chest. Why is she acting this way when her child is inside that room, fighting for her life? A life she almost took herself?

“N-No, we found her like that…” Robin looked back down again and Eddie could only look at her wrecked face with pity, yet, he could not comfort her.

“I see. Did the doctor come out or something yet? I have somewhere to be, and I cannot waste my time on this. Not again.”

And the three sitting people shot up from their seats, all with alarmed looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry… again?” Robin asked, the answer scaring her yet she needed to know what it meant. She needed to know if she was an even more horrible person than she was ten seconds ago. Your mother scoffed, shaking her head again and Eddie’s hands turned into fists.

“It’s the third time. I already sent her to a psychiatrist, a mental hospital, and therapists, and yet she still tries. That girl has everything, and yet she always craves attention this way. I’m sick of it.”

And Robin wanted to puke, right then and there, while Steve looked at Eddie with tear-filled eyes and the metalhead could see how bad his friend felt. How evil he must feel. Steve gulped and looked back at your mother, clearing his throat to be able to talk.

“W-Why would she do this?” And your mother scoffed, looking for her phone in her purse as she talked.

“Just because I forgot about the holidays and her birthday. I already sent her a message apologizing and telling her she could ask for anything she wanted, but she went and did this.”

And Robin froze.

Birthday.

December 28th.

Your birthday.

And she couldn’t handle it anymore, yanking herself away from Steve to rush towards the toilet. Steve called out to her, rushing to her aid as tears rolled down his cheeks and Eddie was frozen in place.

Not only did you spend the holidays alone, but you also spent your birthday by yourself, while they were all having fun in Hawkins, shooting fireworks and drinking alcohol to their heart's content. And you were alone, with a bottle of wine and instant noodles.

He was about to talk to your mother, about to insult her, to drag her on the floor, but the opening of the door in front of him made him stop in his tracks as the doctor walked out with a board in his hand.

“Okay, so, we got her blood cleaned up. It’s good that you caught her at such an early stage. Her vital signs look stable now, but she will have to stay here for a few days, two tops, so we can monitor her a bit more.” Your mother cleared her throat and the doctor looked up at her with a tilt of his head.

“So, she’s okay.” And there was such coldness in your mother’s voice that Eddie felt his vile rising in his throat. The doctor only sighed, taking his glasses off.

“She is, but we cannot overlook a suicide attempt. Does she have anyone to talk to? Maybe I can give you brochures for–”

“I already sent her to an institution once, but it didn't work. That child is an attention seeker, pay it no mind.”

Eddie’s eyes were burning in anger at her words and the doctor looked as surprised and hurt as he did. He cannot bear to hear your mother’s words any longer, so little care, with lack of empathy and lack of love. He wondered how many things you endured with a woman like this in your life, and honestly, he was afraid of finding out.

“W-Well, since you’re the mother, maybe you should–”

“She is a grown woman now. She can make her own decisions as you can see. I shall not worry about her anymore.” And just like that, the heels echoed in the hallway once more and Eddie’s eyes were wide as he looked at her retreating figure. A mother leaving her child after they tried to end their life, like no care in the world, as if she hadn’t given them their life to begin with.

Three times? Three times she did this? Walking away from you? How could she call you an attention seeker? How could she even acknowledge something like that when you were screaming for help?

“Ahem.”

Eddie blinked as he looked towards the doctor who had a confused yet pained look on his face.

“She is awake if you want to see her. I assume you are a friend of hers?”

Is he? He is not a friend, but you cannot be alone, not here, not right now. Robin is probably trying to breathe while Steve is comforting her, but maybe… Eddie knows you probably don’t want to see them either. None of that group. So he gave the doctor a nod, and he slowly opened the door of the white room.

His eyes scanned it, and finally, they landed on you. Your arms were connected to an IV and a blood transfusion bag, the heart rate monitor beeping right next to you as your back rested against the pillows, letting you sit on the bed. You looked emotionless. Eyes empty. Hand on each side of your body and Eddie knew your mind, your feelings, were completely shut off.

He gulped with nerves and the door closed behind him, making him wince, but it alarmed you that someone came into the room, making you look up. Your eyes twitched in surprise, yet if you were, you didn’t express it, nor show it.

“I guess you’re the one that found me?” Your voice was empty, with no tone, as if it were a recording or an AI robot. Eddie slowly nodded as he took a few steps toward the chair that was on the other side of the bed.

“Robin and I found you.” You gave a slow nod, looking back down to your lap. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know anything about you but he feels like he should have. He cleared his throat to continue talking. “I, uh, liked the necklace you got me. Pretty metal.” He winced at his words because it was something he shouldn’t have brought up at all.

Your eyes raised to meet his, another nod going towards his way, diverting your eyes back to your lap. He looked around for a second, the nerves all over his body. He was almost trembling with the need to talk to you, but what can he say? What could be something you want to hear right now? And coming from him?

“Ask away.” He startled at your voice, jumping on his seat as he looked at you once more.

“What?”

“I know you want to ask. And maybe you can also help me by telling the rest about it and how I am not going to talk to them again.” You were still not looking at him and he cleared his throat as he felt his mouth going dry, but now he knew you weren’t going to talk to the others about this. The relationship is already broken inside of you.

“I– Okay, um… I guess the first question is, why?” He slowly asked, afraid of even being able to talk to you about this, but sometimes they say that a stranger is the best listener, and maybe Eddie was just that.

“Why… Only child, homeschooled all my life so no interaction whatsoever with the world, absent mother, holidays and birthdays by myself, father was never found. Need to say more?”

And shit, Eddie was not expecting that at all. You had been miserable from the very beginning, unwanted by your own mother, and now he realized how horrible you must have felt with the whole group. Your first ever friends and they forgot every single detail of you. How you never spent a holiday with people, and was so excited you even baked cookies to share and bought presents for a gift exchange, your first ever most likely, only to never happen.

And now, he realized that… His other friends do not deserve any kind of pity, or forgiveness.

“Okay, then… Why were you scared of me?” At his question, your eyebrow raised up, and turned your head to look at him.

“Is that what you thought?” You asked with complete confusion in her tone. He looked at you with his own frown, tilting his head.

“Well yeah, you avoided me like the plague…” And you looked up at the ceiling, closing your eyes, and shaking your head with a sigh.

“No. I don’t trust people easily as you can see.” You looked down at your lap once again and he wanted to sigh a little bit in relief at that, knowing that his clothes or his whole demeanor didn’t actually scare her. She was just shy and probably nervous.

“Right… Um, Robin and Steve are here as well, do you want me to–”

“No. I don’t want to see them.” And your words spoke for your pain, and Eddie was not going to argue against it. They honestly didn’t deserve your forgiveness or kindness, that much he knew, but he also felt guilty. Really guilty.

“I– I am sorry… I didn’t invite you because I really thought you hated me– and I took everyone away, I didn’t know any of this, I am so sorry if I knew–”

“You weren’t the one who forgot. You don’t know me, but they did.” He gave you a nod in understanding, yet the guilt is still lingering in his stomach. He cleared his throat and he wanted to ease the tension for you, to relieve the somber moment that filled the room.

“So uh, you knew I liked Metallica huh? Is it because of the hundreds of shirts that I own?” Your eyebrow raised at him and you turned to face him while he gave you a cheeky smile of his own. You squinted slightly at him, but a small tug on the corner of your lips gave you away.

“Well yeah, all the times I’ve seen you it was either Metallica or Black Sabbath. It had to be one of the two.”

“What if I only liked their logos, huh?” At that, you rolled your eyes at him, but he kept making jokes at you, and a giggle here and there could be heard in the room.

Robin and Steve were hearing the both of you outside your room. They looked at each other for a minute before hesitantly walking away. Robin turned her head at almost every step, wanting to barge into the room to hug you, to say she was sorry. But she knew it meant nothing, not anymore, and not ever again.

What she did, what they did, cannot be fixed.

Eddie was lounging with his headphones on as he listened to music while resting against a tree trunk. He was bobbing his head as he wrote some lyrics on the notebook he had over his leg. For the past three days, he hasn’t heard of you. He tried visiting you yesterday only to find out you were discharged and he felt too embarrassed to just go to your apartment.

He had also distanced himself from the group. It didn’t sit right to be with people who could easily forget about something so important like a birthday. You didn’t have any social media, so the least they could do is put the birthday in their own cell phones, like Eddie did as soon as he left the hospital.

It’s not like he didn’t talk to them, he just made excuses when they asked to hang out with him. He just couldn’t shake off the bad vibes from it all.

He looked up from his lap only for his eyes to bulge out of his skull as he saw you almost prancing in happiness while walking through campus. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? He immediately put his notebook into his backpack and pulled his headphones down, resting them around his neck. He got up, almost tripping as he did so, as he rushed towards you.

“Hey! Hey!” He yelled at you to catch your attention as he got closer. You turned to face him, still with a wide smile on your face.

“Hi, Eddie.” You were smiling, that’s good, that’s really good. He was almost breathing heavily from the run he just did. He wasn’t athletic and the smoking surely doesn’t do him any good.

“Yeah– I just– give me a minute.” He huffed as he tried taking a deep breath in, and you giggled motioning to him to sit on a bench near the both of you. You sat down as soon as he plopped down, taking another huff of air as he turned his head to look at you. “So, what got you all smiley?”

“Well, I just dropped out of college!” You announced with a smile and jazz hands, startling Eddie completely. His face was contorted in confusion and wonder.

“What? Why? You didn’t like what you were studying?” You shook your head as you looked at the horizon, not anything in particular.

“It’s just pointless now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m going to California in three months.” Your head turned to look at him still with a smile on your face. “I’ve been offered P.A.S.”

He frowned, not knowing what those syllables meant at all. He tried putting them together in his head but nothing was coming up.

“What’s that?”

And Eddie didn’t know why you opened up to him with that. He didn’t know why he didn’t care that you did. He didn’t know why this relationship between the two of you evolved in this manner, as quickly as it did… but he never expected to hear the response you gave him.

“Physician Assisted Suicide.”

And now, Eddie knew that term, and his eyes bulged out of his skull. You were… offered that? How can that happen? You had no health issues to go through something like that, so why would you consider that? Why would the doctors even consider that for you? His heart was just hammering in his chest as dread invaded his gut.

“W-What? Why– how?” He was speechless, not really knowing what he was asking or what he wanted to know at this point. He felt his gut turning at the information like he couldn’t believe someone as young as yourself could even consider that way out.

“Well, it was due to all my medical records, be it psychological and physical. My mindset never changed.” Your gaze turned from him to nothingness once more. “I go, get help, only to get out and for everything to be the same. It never changes, because it was never me who had to change.”

Eddie slowly blinked at your wording and his eyes drifted to the sky as his thoughts raced through his mind. Can he even talk you out of this? How can he even do that? You seem happy, way too happy with this solution… You were excited.

“You’re not… scared?”

“No. Not at all. I am ready to go. My heart can barely handle it anymore.” And Eddie’s eyes turned towards the profile of your face. You had made your decision clear, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you now. No one can. The group was no longer part of your life, your mother didn’t care about your decision so it seems… and he is no one to stop you.

“Alright… You– um, what are you gonna do until… you know, then?” He asked and you smiled at him, grabbing your backpack to take out your notebook, and flipping a page to show him a list, which made him frown in confusion.

“These are things I never tried because the opportunity never presented itself. Before, I didn’t know–” You cut your voice short at what you were about to say, and then you continued. “Now that I know when it’s gonna happen, I don’t want to go with any regrets.”

Eddie looked at the list, and he couldn’t believe… how trivial some of these things were.

- Go to an amusement park

- Smoke a cigarette

- Buy a Barbie Dreamhouse

- Eat a cake for breakfast

- Get high

And then he saw more complicated ones.

- Go skydiving

- Learn to drive (or attempt)

- Try to skateboard

- Ride on a jet ski

- Attempt to make a rainbow cake

And so many more. You had filled an entire page with things you wanted to do and he looked up at you to see you looking up at the sky with a smile on your lips.

“I think I should get the Barbie Dreamhouse first. Oh, maybe get some alcohol, I never got fully drunk, but maybe tonight I can since I don’t have to wake up early anymore–” And you went on with your plans and Eddie was just staring at you as the thoughts ran through his brain.

Everyone else was walking all around the two of you, and nobody knew that you were going to die in three months. No one knew you had made an entire bucket list with things to do before going. No one knew about this decision of yours, and he wasn’t going to let you be alone in this. He doesn’t want you to live these last few weeks with no one at your side.

“You know, or I can make one of your wishes on the list come true.” Your head snapped towards him with a surprised look on your face.

“Oh, what?” And a smirk formed on Eddie’s lips.

“Getting high.”

“Did you prepare the pan?”

“Uh…”

“Eddie!”

He immediately rushed to grab onto the pan as he burst into giggles thanks to the weed in his system. The munchies came to life with you two after smoking a whole joint from Eddie’s stash. You had the open bag of pizza rolls in your hands, the oven already turned on as you waited for Eddie to put some oil spray on the pan.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just– I was stuck looking at the wall.” He simply replied to you, making you burst into laughter, trying not to let the pizza rolls fall to the ground. He followed you with chuckles as he sprayed the pan and handed it to you so you could throw the pizza rolls on it and then begin cooking them in the oven.

You were relaxed, that much Eddie knew, and he was smiling as you tip-toed in a dance towards your couch, plopping down. He followed soon after, sitting next to you. You giggled as you stared at the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m on a cloud.” Eddie stared at your profile for a while before he began talking once more.

“I wanna help.”

“Hmm?” You turned to face him still with a dopey smile on your face.

“I want to help you complete some things on your list.”

And your smile fell as if becoming sober out of nowhere. Eddie then gulped but his resolution was already said and you moved uncomfortably in your place.

“You don’t have to pity me. I can do these–”

“No, you can’t. Learning to drive a car? How do you plan to do that?” At that, you opened and closed your mouth many times and then cleared your throat.

“An instructor!” Eddie rolled his eyes at that, and put his hand up, his fingers up.

“Getting drunk, you need supervision.” He put a finger down. “Going to a concert, you’re gonna get squashed.” He put another one down. “Playing Mortal Kombat, you need an enemy.” He put another and then you stopped him completely, shoving his hand down.

“Okay, okay, okay! I see your stupid point.” You sighed as you threw your head back against the headrest of the couch, looking at your ceiling. He knew you were overthinking it, but he honestly wanted to help you in any way he could.

“C’mon, there are a few things in your list I am dying to try too. Like– Eating Argentinian food. I never tried that shit, I bet it’s fucking delicious.” You giggled at his expression and then nodded at him.

“Okay, fine. You can help. You will also help me bake that stupid rainbow cake I always wanted to try.” He laughed at that with a shake of his head.

“Another thing I never did in my life was bake. It’s gonna be a journey. Do you have insurance here? We might burn it all down.” At that you punched his shoulder lightly, causing him to laugh it out followed by your giggle.

And what a journey it was gonna be.

“Seriously, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GET ME INTO THIS TOO!” Eddie almost screamed as he looked out the window of the helicopter with a frightened look on his face. Harnesses were all around his body, a man behind him strapping himself closer to Eddie’s back.

You were in front of him, holding your laughter as you held onto a handle on the side of the big machine that was now miles and miles above the ground. The helmets on both of your heads almost crushed your skulls but the protection was needed. Another man was strapping himself to you behind your back.

“Oh come on! You wanted to try new things!” You yelled at him so he could hear you over the loud sound of the helicopter.

“Yes! BUT NOT SKYDIVING! I WAS HAPPY TO WAIT FOR YOU WITH EARTH BENEATH MY FEET!” He yelled back and you were trying really hard to contain your laughter. Suddenly the big door next to the both of you slid open and the wind immediately pushed your body and Eddie’s back from the force but the guys remained still as they held onto the handles above the door.

“You guys ready!?” The one behind you asked and Eddie rolled his eyes behind the goggles.

“DO I HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE?”

“Nope.” The guy behind him said before jumping out with no warning, dragging Eddie with him, and then the guy strapped to you followed close behind. You were screaming your lungs out, and Eddie was shrieking. The adrenaline of falling was making him feel butterflies in his belly, almost making him feel sick.

He can hear you closer now and he raised his head to see you in front of him with your arms splayed out and reaching out for him. He could hear your laughter through your screaming and he reached out, fighting the strong wind, to finally lock his hands with yours as you two were freefalling towards the ground.

He couldn’t help but smile and cheer out from how extreme the whole situation was. He didn’t know how you weren’t hungover, you had gotten yourself as drunk as possible yesterday night while dancing to his music. He showed you how to headbang properly, and he took care of you when you started letting the contents out in the toilet.

He held your hands as tightly as possible, your fingers intertwined with his, as you both yelled with excitement and fear as you plummeted down and down. You only separated when the men behind your backs tapped on your sides so they could pull the parachute open.

Your bodies jerked as you started floating in the sky, and Eddie was left laughing as you both glided downwards towards the ground again. He could see the entire city and the fields as you both kept coming down. He turned his head to see you laughing as well, your head looking up at the sky in bliss and he felt his heart tug on him slightly.

Once you two touched earth again, Eddie let the air out of his lungs with relief and the guy behind him unstrapped himself so Eddie could catch a proper breath, taking the goggles and helmet off. You followed a few seconds later, walking towards him with a smile on your face and taking your goggles off.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” You were breathing heavily and he scoffed at you with a shake of his head, flicking his fingers on your forehead.

“I won’t let you drag me into something like this ever again.”

You laughed at him and you both walked back to Eddie’s van after you paid for the experience. You didn’t let Eddie pay at all, since you dragged him into it. He was going to invite you for dinner though, and you wanted McDonalds, so he was driving back towards town as you two talked in the van.

“So, you never told me about your parents.” You blurted out, catching him by surprise, but you were indeed right. He gripped his steering wheel a little tighter, but he kept a small smile on his face.

“Oh, where to begin? My mother died when I was young and my Father was… very abusive, and often dragged me into stealing with him. He got caught and he’s been in jail for a while now, he’s charged with robbery and homicide attempt.” He took a big gulp in as he kept driving, not used to letting people into his life in this way. “But, my uncle Wayne took me in at fifteen. He is the father figure my father failed to be.”

You were silent as you listened to him. He didn’t hear anything from you so he turned to face you, only to see you looking at him with tears running down your cheeks. He wondered what was going on in your head at that point. He was about to ask you what was wrong and you sniffled, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“I’m– sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.” You said regretfully and he instantly shook his head.

“No, no… don’t worry. I’m past it.” He was worried about what you were thinking about at the moment since you remained silent for a while.

“I’m a little jealous to be honest… You had someone that…” And he waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t, he pressed forward.

“Someone that what?”

“Wanted you.”

And his heart broke at that, immediately so, and he knew his eyes started burning from the incoming tears and he shook his head to keep focused on driving. You didn’t need him to cry, you didn’t need that.

But should he tell you what he thinks? Should he tell you what has been on his mind for the past month that he helped you tick things off your list?

“I–”

“Oh! Before I forget–” You looked through your purse, pulling out your phone as you started scrolling, and he frowned as he tried to look at what you were doing and then back at the road. You giggled and moved away so he couldn’t see. “No peeking!”

“Oh come on, you can’t just do that and not expect me to be anxious!” He laughed as he kept his gaze on the road and then he saw light in his peripheral vision and he looked quickly to see you were showing your phone to him. He switched from the road and to your phone but he couldn’t quite read it. “What’s that?”

“You know how one of the things was to go to a concert?” He nodded and you giggled, putting your phone down again. “I got us two tickets to go see Megadeth!”

His jaw could just fall from his skull at this point as he tried to focus on driving and not the shock from those news. Did you say Megadeth? Are you serious? Eddie has been dying to see them live but when he got into the virtual line they got sold out in just a few seconds.

“What?!” He yelled and you kicked your feet on your seat as you stared down at the phone. He was speechless, a smile spreading on his face, only for it to fall back down. “Wait, do you even LIKE Megadeth!?”

“Well, I haven’t heard much, BUT YOU LIKE THEM, and I assumed that we should go to a concert we both can enjoy. I doubt you want to go to a Taylor Swift concert.” You replied with a wiggle of your eyebrows only for him to scoff.

“Taylor Swift has some sick songs. But– Yes, I do prefer Megadeth sweetheart.” He smiled widely at you and then looked back at the road, cheering as he hit the steering wheel with excitement. “Fuck yeah!”

You were laughing on the passenger’s seat and Eddie was smiling all the while as realization started to dawn on him that… he may like something more than Megadeth’s music.

It was a special kind of tune.

“Seriously, how long are you gonna take darling, we had to go like yesterday!” Eddie yelled with a pissed-off tone as he paced in your living room.

“It’s my first time wearing something like this, it needs to be perfect!” He heard you yell from the bathroom and he sighed, but a smile was splayed on his lips. He was looking out the window as he waited for you in his Megadeth tank top with a black leather jacket on top. He heard the bathroom click open and he sighed in relief, turning around with a roll of his eyes.

“Finally–” And his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your hair was messy, completely batted, wearing heavy black makeup on your eyes, strong lipstick on your lips, a black top with a black long-sleeved fishnet shirt on top, and then black leather pants below. You gave him a twirl and wiggled your eyebrows at him.

“So!? I had to look at a tutorial on YouTube to get this done, but I think I did pretty good–”

“You look beautiful.” And it was natural. It came out without doubt, without him thinking too much about it, and you were shocked, yet, he noticed how you diverted your gaze away from him, and he chuckled at how embarrassed you got from a compliment regarding your physique.

“I– uh, it isn’t weird?” You asked and Eddie knew you felt a little self-conscious of how different you looked. But you were indeed beautiful, this just enhanced it in ways he didn’t think could be possible and he felt his knees bending for you.

“It isn’t darling…”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you and Eddie could only stare at you as he walked closer to your frame. He saw how your shoulders went up and down a littler harder than before, signaling him that you were taking deeper breaths, maybe from nervousness, he didn’t know.

“Um–”

“Sweetheart…” You finally looked at him and he smiled, rolling his eyes. “Can we please go now!?”

And you giggled at him, the tension leaving the both of you as you made your way out to head to his van.

The ride to the stadium was filled with music, mostly Megadeth which you started listening to since you showed Eddie the tickets three weeks ago. Today signaled the second month of you two completing your bucket list.

One more month to go.

And the concert was filled with screams and laughter from your part, Eddie protecting you from the people pushing against you, but you didn’t care, experiencing your first concert ever, and you wanted to share it with him. This was your first and last concert, and you decided it was gonna be Megadeth, for his taste.

“That was AWESOME! My neck needs ice from all the headbanging though.” You sighed as you two got back into the van after almost three hours of jumping around. Your make up was smudged, your hair looked a little sweaty, and your lipstick had washed away from the sweat, yet, you looked as beautiful as you did hours ago. Even before the makeup. Maybe even more.

“Hey, you were great for your first metal concert.” You giggled at his words and gave him a nod.

“I am a natural.” You smiled at him and he just kept staring at you, licking his lips as he looked down and then moved his whole body in order to face you. The nerves were almost killing him as he tried to formulate the following words.

“I uh– I can help you cross another thing off your list.” You tilted your head in question and you pulled out your notebook from the bag you left in the van with your bucket list and then a green highlighter.

“What is it?” You smiled at him as you handed them to him and he scanned the whole list, looking for that one thing and when he spotted it, he felt his heart in his throat as he slowly showed it to you, pointing at the line.

Have the first kiss

You blinked once, twice, and then looked up at him with a confused frown in your eyebrows. He gulped loudly and he might have overstepped it, but he still waited for your response and he could see the incoming tears in your eyes as he felt his hands becoming sweaty.

“You– You don’t have to do that… I– You don’t have to do something you don’t want to–”

“I want to. I really want to.”

He could see that you were nervous, looking everywhere but his face. You didn’t reject him. You were worried that he didn’t want to do this and felt pressured because of your list, and that was far from the truth.

“I– How does this go?” And he wanted to smile at your innocence, but he felt sadness that you never experienced any kind of physical interaction in all your life. But he smiled anyway, in order to calm your nerves down. He raised his hand towards your cheek once you moved to face him in the passenger seat. Your breathing hitched at his touch, finally looking at him, directly into his brown eyes.

“Just close your eyes. You can tell me to stop whenever, I won’t pressure you, sweetness.”

And his voice was soft, and caring, his thumb smoothing your cheek in circles and when he saw you close your eyes, he took a deep breath in as he slowly leaned in. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing to his head at a quick pace, but he had to focus. He knew his face was flushed, but he couldn’t help it.

He could smell your perfume still, despite all the jumping, all the sweat, it was still lingering on your body. He finally closed the gap between the two of you in a soft peck on the lips, staying there for two seconds before pulling away as a chill ran down his spine. He wanted to dive into it, take your lips completely, but he didn’t want to overstep. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, only to be surprised by your hands grasping his face, pulling him towards your mouth again.

He gasped into the kiss, and he took it as a sign that you wanted to know more, experience more, learn more. So he kissed back, his hand moving towards the back of your head in order to push you further into him as you two hovered over the console. He started to move his lips, slowly, and he felt you follow him, hesitant at first, maybe doubting what you were doing.

He was having a hard time focusing on not letting his instincts take over, a very horrible time. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible fucking idea and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to be the one to give this to you, because if someone else did… he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He didn’t want anyone close to you, not like this.

He felt your hands moving to the back of his head, your fingers digging into his curls, and he held a groan in, trying to not let it show how carnal he was becoming. He was nervous but he wanted to see if you wanted to take it even further, so he poked his tongue out, licking your bottom lip tentatively.

He heard a gasp coming from you and he noticed that you didn’t get the idea of what he wanted to do, so he tried again, licking in between your bottom and top lip. You seemed to know what part comes next, so you slowly opened your mouth, and he met his tongue with yours, earning another gasp of surprise.

He wanted to know what thoughts were running in your mind right now as he kissed you. Did you feel the heat rising? Did you feel scared like he does? Did you feel happy? Confused? Nervous? What is going on in that head of yours?

He didn’t want to break it apart, he really didn’t, but it’s been minutes, and he didn’t want to overdo it at all, and he can’t hide his real feelings for much longer. He slowly pulled away from you, the smack of lips separating and vibrating all over the van. You two were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes.

“So? How was that for a first kiss?” He asked breathlessly and he could see something in your eyes that he couldn’t quite describe. It was a mixture of emotions, not one in particular, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He was still holding onto your face, waiting on your response.

“It–” You opened your mouth to say something, only to shut it seconds after, and then a smirk appeared on your lips, pulling away from him to sit straight in the passenger seat. “I don’t know Munson, got nothing to compare it to.”

His mouth fell open, a laugh escaping his lips as he poked the side of your body, making a giggle escape your lips, flinching away from him as he kept poking you repeatedly.

Yeah… your laugh was better than any song out there.

Five days.

Five days and you were leaving.

And it’s not like you were going to come back. You weren’t going to in any shape or form.

Eddie was lounging on your couch as you put things in cardboard boxes. Things you wanted to donate since you weren’t going to need them any longer. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching and wanting to stop you, to yell at you that you didn’t have to do this, not anymore.

“Okay, I think I’m done for today. You sure you don’t want any of this?” You asked him and he felt as if a knife was stabbed into his throat. He wanted to cry like he had been doing alone at night whenever he went to bed. Sleepless nights were plagued by the thought of not seeing you anymore, of not being able to hug you, of not being able ever to cuddle you like he wanted.

“Yeah, pretty sure.” He didn’t want to sound bitter or angry, but he couldn’t hide it. You didn’t acknowledge it of course, so you shrugged, closing the box and standing up from the floor before heading to your room.

He stared at your open door, needing to hype himself up. If it’s not now, he won’t have the chance to do it again. He needs to kiss you once more, he needs to hold you close, he needs to show his feelings through actions.

So he stood up and slowly walked towards your room. You were cleaning up your closet, looking through your shirts. He watched you move through your room, and he looked over to your desk, seeing the almost completed bucket list. Some were just impossible to complete, like riding a kangaroo, but there was a particular one that he wanted to fulfill, and not because it was on the list.

If this was the only chance he could do it, he would take it. You noticed his presence when you turned around with a shirt on your hand and saw him looking at your notebook. You tilted your head to the side as his fingers trailed one particular line that was yet to be highlighted.

“Eds? What’s wrong?” Your voice held worry as you put the shirt back in the closet and Eddie turned his head up to look at you. He turned to close the door behind him, to face you again, taking a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“I saw one more thing on the list… a thing I want too.” His voice was small, lacking confidence, filled with nerves, but he needed this. He needed you. He hoped he wasn’t getting this wrong, because ever since that kiss the two of you stole glances from one another, laughter as friends turned into flushed giggles.

“And what is that?” You asked with a frown on your eyebrows, in question. He wrapped an arm around your waist, flushing your body to his, his breath most likely hitting your face as he felt your shoulders move even quicker than before, signaling him you were taking fast breaths.

“Do you trust me on this?” You stared up into his eyes for a full five seconds before slowly nodding at him. He lifted his other hand to cup your face in his palm, and he leaned down to take your lips with his.

Electricity ran through his body, and he wanted to smile, he wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to rip and break the walls, he needed to destroy something, he needed to hug someone, he needed comfort but he also needed the rage.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him as your lips moved together, soon tongues intertwining as the seconds passed, and your breathing turned jagged as you pulled away for some air. Eddie leaned down to kiss your jaw, startling you, to then move downwards towards your neck, planting soft kisses onto your skin.

A gasp escaped your lips at the sudden sensation, new, raw, and Eddie felt you shiver under his touch, but instead, you were gripping his shoulders in order to pull him closer as the hand that was on your waist started sneaking under the hem of your shirt so he could touch your skin.

“Eddie…” It was a partial moan, but he took it as a green light, moving you towards the bed so he could lay you down but before he crawled on top of you he took the chance to take his jacket off, throwing it across the room, not caring where it landed.

If this was going to be the only time to have you like this, he would make sure to make you feel like the most adored person in the world. He will make sure of it. Even as your moans filled the room, he couldn’t help but want to record them, knowing he won’t ever hear them again.

And that line was highlighted in green when you both woke up the next morning.

Make love

He didn’t want to look at you.

He couldn’t.

The sun was shining through your curtains as you walked around the apartment with the small carry-on waiting for you at the front door. The past few days the two of you dipped into the sheets, all day, cooking when necessary only to return to bed.

He really wanted to cry and yell, and he almost left in the middle of the night in order to not see this day. In order to just run away from the fact this was your last hour with him, and you had asked him to take you to the airport. He can ditch you, tell you he wasn’t going to do it, that you could get a cab.

But he couldn’t do it. His heart was ripping out of his chest at every step you took in your apartment, the seconds ticking closer and closer to the departure of your plane. A plane with no return at all. A one way ticket.

He looked around your apartment, and boxes of stuff that you wanted to donate surrounded him, as well as bags of your clothes. You told Eddie that he was the only one in your will. That fact broke him to the core, knowing that you were leaving everything to him, but the only thing he wanted was you, and you were going to leave him.

He didn’t want your pans, your apartment, your cutlery, your game consoles, or TVs. He wanted you, and only you. He didn’t notice that his tears were falling down his face as the lump in his throat became bigger and harder to swallow at every gulp he tried to take.

“Okay, I think I’m–” You stopped on your tracks when you saw his profile, noticing the tears, your eyes widening as you approached him, your hands cupping his cheeks for him to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving me.” He wasn’t going to hold back his feelings anymore. He showed you through his actions, but he never said them out loud, and the least he can do is let you know this.

“What–”

“I love you.” Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open at his confession, but Eddie didn’t stop talking. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and fuck, you need to know how much I fucking want you.”

You were stunned into the ground and that’s when Eddie turned to look at you, only to see tears running down your face as you covered your mouth, taking steps away from him.

“You– You can’t say that to me, not now. Please– Please– not now.” You were choking into your sobs as he stood in front of you, coughing to be able to speak.

“I– I want you to stay… Please, don’t take that flight… I beg of you, please, stay with me…” His lip was trembling as he felt nausea fill his stomach, taking a few steps towards you as the crying finally was heard through the apartment.

“I– I don’t need your pity! I– I am happy I am doing this! You’re lying in order for me to stay, and I’m not going to buy it!” You yelled through your sobs, and Eddie felt his chest ripping open at your thoughts.

“I am not lying! I am in love with you! Why can’t you believe that!?” He was screaming now, trying to get his point across but you also didn’t back down, yelling back to him with the same confusion, with the same anger, with the same sadness.

“Because how can I trust that!? How can I trust you!?” And Eddie grabbed you onto your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in order for you to look at him and not run away. His eyes were on fire as he gazed at you through his tears.

“Trust me just like you trusted me to hold your hair back when you got too drunk and you were in the toilet! Trust me just like you trusted me to teach you how to drive! Trust me just like you trusted me to protect you in your first night club outing! Trust me just like you trusted me when I made love to you!”

And the screaming ceased, eyes locked into one another’s, tears still streaming down, never stopping, heavy breathing trembling against every wall. You were shaking under his touch, your lips trembling as your hands shook on your sides while he still gripped onto your shoulders. You opened your mouth to talk once more, your voice small, broken.

“You… One day you will get tired of me, but you will feel bad for leaving me, so you won’t… I can’t– I can’t chain you like that–” Your voice was breaking his heart, even more than before, and he shook his hair desperately as he let go of your shoulders so he could grab your hands and hold them with his, getting closer to you.

“No, no… I won’t ever get tired of you… Not you, not in a million years…”

“Eds…”

“Please… Please don’t go… Please, trust me.”

You sobbed a gulp of air and you raised in order to give him a soft kiss on the lips. His breathing hitched at it, but kissed you back, dread filling his core, every vein, every blood cell instantly freezing at what the future will hold, of what this kiss meant. You pulled away with a small smile on your face. Small, authentic, yet sad.

“I love you, Eddie… I’m sorry…”

And your flight took off that day.

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson!”

Eddie jolted in his seat as he put his wallet down to look up at his group of students. Gregory was raising his hand and Eddie pointed at him so he knew he was acknowledged.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. What’s wrong Mr. Gill?” He asked and his student asked something about the textbook they were all reading. His college students. He began explaining the paragraph that seemed like a puzzle to students from the book “Down the Rabbit Hole”.

He graduated in Psychology three years ago. He was offered a job as a professor in the same college he graduated from, and he was more than happy to pass his knowledge to other students to help them understand how the brain works, and the many branches that can come out of it after every single situation in life. Traumatic or not.

Once his students went back to reading, he grabbed onto his wallet again, looking inside to see a picture of you and him, completing one of your bucket list’s objectives.

Go to an amusement park and get pictures taken in a photo booth.

He chuckled as he remembered that outing, how you had screamed at your first ride on a roller coaster.

He became friends with Steve once again but was still not fond of the rest of the group. The only reason he got close to Steve again was because he was also a teacher in the same college. He was a professor in physical trauma, so, in their breaks, they would smoke together as they walked through campus.

The bell rang and it was time for him to finally head home after a long day of having four classes in the day. He grabbed his suitcase, hoping no student would stop him on his way out and gladly it never happened. His hair is still the same length, but he is always using a ponytail or a bun on his head.

He has heard rumors that people always gossip about him, asking if he was single, or what was his life like outside college. He shrugged the comments away as they weren’t important at all. He just came to work and that’s it.

He got into his car, a black jeep he saved a year for in order to buy it. He missed the van, but he had to upgrade it once and for all. His van was a little old so replacement parts were a bitch to get. He turned on his car and then started his drive back to his home, a two-story house. It wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was his home.

He sighed in relief as he opened the door, throwing his suitcase on the couch after slamming the door closed. He cracked his neck a few times before taking his blazer off and then his tie, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt and opening the cuffs at the end of the sleeves. He groaned with satisfaction as he sniffed the air.

He smiled as he walked towards his kitchen, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his teeth showing into a massive grin.

“Hi baby.” You smiled widely at him as you took the pan out of the oven, filled with cookies that were freshly baked. He walked towards you, his hand stretching out in order to grab a cookie, only for it to get slapped away by you. “They’re hot!”

“I am strong, I can handle a little bit of burning.” He grinned down at you, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips in greeting. “Were my princesses hungry for cookies?”

“Are you talking to me or…” He chuckled at the pout on your face and he bent down to kiss the big bump on your belly, standing up straight later on, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him.

“Those two are my princesses, you, my love, are my queen.” You rolled your eyes at his antics but you giggled either way. He gave you a smooch on the cheek, making you laugh, trying to push him away. He spotted something on the kitchen counter, pulling away from kissing you and getting the item in his hand.

“Oh! Yeah, Chrissy gifted that! She said–” Eddie laughed as he looked at you and then putting the two pink pacifiers that you can put flavored ice in so they can chew and help with the heat.

“Another gift!? Damn, she really wants to be the godmother of one of our princesses huh.” You pushed onto his shoulder with a pout on your bottom lip.

“Hey, she is going to be the best aunt.” Eddie nodded at that and he really wasn’t angry at Chrissy. You met her after you moved out of your apartment to go to Eddie’s. She was moving in at the same time you were, and you two helped each other in bringing the boxes in.

Yes, your flight took off that day… Without you in it.

You stayed with him, wrapped in his arms as you cried, not being able to stop as your feelings confused you, scared you, your mind a jumbled mess but Eddie held you through it. Eddie wasn’t going to let you go, never, and he promised it, over and over again into your ear, hoping it stuck to your brain.

“Oh no baby, I don’t doubt that.” He smiled at you as you started taking the cookies off the tray, taking care of your hands so that you don’t burn yourself. Eddie just stared at you with adoration in his eyes, as if you held the entire world in your hand, and you did. You are his world. You are everything.

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in question, wondering if he was scheming something that you didn’t know about.

“Now, what is going on in that mind of yours Munson?” He found it ironic that you can easily ask that question to him when he wanted to ask that to you many times before. He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his hands resting below your bump, holding onto it as he felt his two daughters moving inside of you.

“I just love you Mrs. Munson…” You turned your head to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, before focusing once again on the cookies.

“And I love you.”

After a moment of silence, he pressed a soft kiss on the side of your neck, surprising you, yet a giggle escaped your throat.

“Thank you.” That confused you, turning your head to look at him and he was already smiling fondly at you.

“For what?”

“For trusting me.”

The end.

a/n: this story explores the idea of death, the idea of being ready to receive it with open arms, with a rational head. But it also explores the fact that things get better if you meet the right people. It might not be now, it might not be tomorrow. It might take years for you to do so, and people in your life will come and go.

But there will always be that one person. And that is all you will ever need.

Taglist of people I mentioned this to: @littlesubbyflower @munson-blurbs @andvys

485 notes · View notes

heartilywrites · 7 months

Text

♡ — Love like you ; H. Callahan

cw: THIS IS A MINORS DNI !! cheating, some angst, but I didn't went straight to it-, cheerleader!reader, fluff, a moment of josabel because I love them, it gets +18 after the bold letters [fingering, top!Hazel, public sex]

word count: 2.9k

a/n: this is the beginning of my cheerleader!reader x loser!hazel brainrot. it wasn't suppose to end up with smut but I got carried away with the ~feels~. hope you enjoy!

“ 𝓣he sound of you calling for my name, I want to hear it. ”

Hazel felt miserable, she felt like the whole world lost its meaning as soon as you walked away.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You. . . You're breaking up with me?” your voice whispered, with tears accumulating on your eyes and your hands slowly back down from her face.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I am so sorry, I really am.” she continued to say after that, your whole body moved away from the girl and that made her heart break even more. “I just don't like the idea of people judging you for being with me.”

Your frown turned from confused to angry. “Is someone saying anything to you?” A couple of football players, she thought quickly, but instead of saying it, she shook her head. “I don't get it then, I– you–” no coherent words came out of you.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm sorry.” was the last thing you heard before standing from the bench and walk away with your heart in your hands and the flowers that you were going to give her to match on prom in your bag.

Hazel wasn't really one to think about what people said about her, but it did got to her how the football players were teasing or making fun of you. She loved you as much as you loved her, she was aware of that, so it hurt three times more when she saw you on halls after that and you ignored her.

Eye bags badly covered with concealer, your nose and eyes was red almost everyday and Isabel never left your side while Brittany was getting your stuff. She felt horrible looking how much she hurt you, but she was as bad as you were and you knew that, you've been watching her.

On the cafeteria, playing with your food while Isabel told you that you should eat something, your eyes were static on Hazel's silhouette as you were doing for weeks now, but she didn't notice that. Isabel followed your gaze when she saw you distracted, she sighed.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You should move on from her, darling.” you heard snapping back, turning to your friend when Hazel turned to you without giving her the satisfaction of seeing your gaze on her.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm trying, I don’t know what else to do. . .” your voice sounded weak, Isabel hugged you before you started to cry.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay, maybe we can—” a male voice calling for you interrupted your talk, both of you turned to said voice.

A football player was standing infront of your table with a bouquet of flowers on his hands and a sweet smile on his face, you tried to smiled back at him. “Hey, Kev, can I help you?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You know, I was just thinking. You're a girl, a cheerleader, I'm a boy, a player, and I also like you. . . I wanted to know if you want to go out with me. Tonight.” he explained, you blinked surprised at the sudden confession while he extended the flowers your way.

A quick look was shot to Hazel's way and you could see her take her things and starting to walk away, so you turned to the boy and faked a smile. “I would love to!” you exclaimed loud enough, seeing how your ex stopped for a second on place. She didn't look back to you or her friends, a second later, she walked faster away.

And after that you and. . . Oh, yeah, Kevin, you and Kevin started dating. It really wasn't that good of a relationship, but it did help you to get your head out of Hazel.

He showered you in gifts, most of them being papers with simple 'I love you' or a single rose and you thought about those gifts Hazel would get you; your favorite candies, a funny card she bought at a store that reminded her of you, something significant for the both of you, hand-made hearts she did in classes where you weren't with her. . . All of those gift you still have on a box in home, the same gifts you looked at when you arrived home after going out with your new boyfriend and smiled at them with nostalgia.

Maybe you didn't really moved on from her and that was what scared you a bit, she was always present in the back of your mind and you just wanted for it to stop, knowing it wasn't really healthy. You wanted to move on from her, but you were sure she was your great love.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “And that's how I saved the game.” your boyfriend finished the story while you zoned out with your face in one hand.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's great, babe, you're a hero.” an automated response came from your way, the bell finally rang and you started to collect your things.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, I'll take it.” he said moving his hand to your backpack and you smiled at him, shaking your head.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay, Kev, I got it.” you said, “I just need to go to the ladies room before chemistry, alright?” before he could answer you gave him a kiss on the lips and walked with hurry to the bathroom.

When opening the door your eyes met those green ones that you missed so much, both of you froze in spot.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey. . .” Hazel whispered like she was running out of air. You smiled a bit and waved. “You, uh, you look great. . .”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Thanks.” you said back at her. “You too.”

A small thank you left her mouth. Another silence, “Listen, uh, I'm really sorry how things ended–”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “It's okay, Hazel. . .” her name fell from your lips like butter and she almost melt to the sound of it. “I guess we're better now.”

She nodded a bit, with a tiny pout on her lips. “O–Okay, I. . . I have to go to class.” she said making her way to you, you nodded too and made space for her to go through.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hope to see you at prom.” you said, she smiled at you and you slipped in to the bathroom.

Hazel was not going at prom at first. She didn't want to see how the love of her life was dancing, smiling and having fun with some douche while she was sitting on a table with her friends. But that was until she got to her locker and a plastic box fell from it, she changed her mind.

“ I bought it for you a month ago and if you're going it needs to be with style, maybe you'll conquer a girl's heart like you did with mine. ” and your name as a signature. She had to go now.

Asking for money from her mom to buy a last minute suit and going from mall to mall was what Hazel's afternoon consisted. She dragged Josie and PJ with her to help her get a cute one, one that you may like and Josie knew from a very confidential and trustworthy source —ahem, Isabel— which color you picked for your dress, so they based that for her suit.

Prom night came along and everyone was arriving at the gym. You arrived with your friends instead of your boyfriend, who was arriving with the team.

A beautiful long dark green dress with a opening on your left leg was your outfit that night, along with high heels and on your wrist two flowers: the one that your boyfriend got you that was in a red color and the one you got for Hazel and you in a white color.

The night was pretty calm while you where there, you danced with your friends and one slow song with your boyfriend and it was already two hours in.

Hazel arrived a bit late, nervous for that night, but as soon as she saw you dance with Brittany, all her worries disappeared.

She went to sit with her friends when she got to distinguish them and was received with a bunch of whistles and claps.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Yeah, Hazel, coming to get some tonight!” PJ laughed when her friend made a turn on herself and the comment made her blush. “Go get your girl, dude, she's been looking at us all night waiting for you.”

Hazel shook her head nervous again, Josie stood up and took her by the arm. “Let's go, Romeo.” she said while dragging her to the dance floor.

You were dancing your heart out with Isabel, laughing a bit when you saw how Brittany started to dance with someone else and made kissing noises to her, she clearly just flipped you.

When Josie arrived you greet at her with a smile, expression that widened when your eyes locked with Hazel's.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hello, ladies; I came to take my girlfriend so we can dance a bit and in exchange I got you a dance partner.” Josie said pointing to Hazel, she waved awkwardly. The girl took her girlfriend's hand and started to make her way to the center of the dance floor.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hey!” you screamed a bit because of the music, she smiled big and greeted back. “You look pretty!”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You look so gorgeous.” she said, that comment made you blush and laugh a bit. Conveniently, a slow song started to play and both of you blinked surprised. “Do you. . . want to dance?”

You nodded while smiling. At the DJ set-up, Josie asked him to play the most romantic and slow song he had on the playlist. “Oh, you did this for them, didn't you?” Isabel asked acknowledging her plan.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Kinda, I did it for us too, we haven't slow danced in the night and I think that should be illegal.” Josie responded, getting a laugh from her girlfriend before she rested her arms on her shoulders.

Just as you did with Hazel, you knew your boyfriend was doing something stupid outside so you didn't care about it. Her hands hugged your waist cautiously and you swore that contact almost made you fall.

Neither of you broke the eye contact from each other, feeling as if it was only the two of you in the dance floor.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I've missed you.” the girl infront of you started to talk, your brows rose. “You have no idea how much I've missed you.”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I've missed you too. . .” you whispered, getting closer to her, smiling with tenderness. “You, your kisses, your hands, your words. . .” both faces were dangerously close.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I'm really sorry, I shouldn't break things up, you're the best I have.” that was all you needed to hear before making your lips meet hers.

Both mouths moving with such synchronization, you knew how well you both worked together and that made you know how bad a decision was to leave each other.

The kiss turned from sweet and tender to desperate and passional, your hands tangled in her hair and her tongue asked for access to your mouth, before you could let her she stopped the gesture making you follow her head for her lips again.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “We. . . Let's go.” Hazel took your wrist and started to make her way, you following closer.

Even though it wasn't the most creative of places, Hazel got both of you in the bathroom. Making sure it was empty, she attacked your lips again, fully asking for access to your mouth at the beginning, action that you granted and followed.

She walked backwards without stopping the action and got into a stall, closing the door after you and pushing you against it, locking you between her arm while the other was on your waist.

Soft moans vibrated on your throat and drowned against the girl's mouth while your hands pull her closer asking for her body to be on yours and your left leg rose a bit to her side to have Hazel between you. When she pushed away for air, your mouth was quick to make her way through her jaw and neck, getting to a weak spot and hearing her moan, you smiled with satisfaction. Your lips attended that area and made a hickey, in your most foggy thinking and still wanting to claim her.

Hazel took your face in her free hand to make you look at her with a mischievous smile.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You missed me that much, huh?” she said hoarsely and you bit your bottom lip while nodding.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “I told you, I missed your hands.” you responded seductively. “Did you miss me?”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Honey, every night.” she answered, attacking your lips once again. The hand she had on your waist started to make her way under your dress and playing with your underwear.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hazel~” your voice called needy for your ex. “Please, baby, I've missed you.” your hips moved a bit while you made a pouty face. “You owe me.”

She laughed for a moment, before making her nose touch yours. “But have you been good? Has he not attended my pretty girl how she deserves while I was gone?” she asked against your lips.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “He doesn't know how, I'm tired of him.” you growled with a disgusted face, switching to pout again. Hazel laughed again. “Make me feel good, my love.” a plead came from you, your hand resting on her the arm playing with your sanity.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “My baby is needy of me, huh?” before you could answer to her question, her hand rubbed against you and you let out a moan. “Call my name, I want to hear you.”

You said as demanded, her name falling from your mouth with a moan and Hazel was delighted at that sound, the one she missed to hear from you while asking her for more while you were underneath her body.

With such agile one of her digits began to enter you slowly, your mouth opened at the feeling of her.

When she was about to speak, the door to the bathroom opened, both of you froze with eyes widened. The sound of two girls talking filled the room while they were doing their make-up.

You look at Hazel and notice a malicious smile on her, your head was shaking and before you could stop her another finger was inside you and the hand she had beside you was now on your mouth to muffled any sound.

You felt your heartbeat raise as soon as Hazel's fingers began to move inside you. You did tried to not moan loudly, pressing the hand on your mouth with one of your own so your sounds wouldn't be as loud.

Her pace fastened and your eyes closed when a third digits was added, her thumb looked to satisfy your clit with circle caressings.

For what you felt an eternity, the girls walked back out while laughing about some joke one of them told and you moved Hazel's hand from your mouth. “You're a bitch.” you moaned and Hazel's brows raised with fun.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “That's not nice, hun.” she laughed, in a fast move she made you face the door and began to take back her pace in you, with her free hand she tugged your hair away from your shoulder and leave a kiss there while you throw your head back. “You love it.”

Her free hand took care of your breast, giving it squeezes and her mouth left wet kisses on your neck.

You felt overwhelmed by all the attention given, your abdomen felt tight, giving you an alert that you were so near.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Hazel, baby.” you called again, she knew exactly what was about to happen, so her pace speeded one more time making you melt into moans and irregular breaths.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Do it, darling, come for me. I want to hear you.”

And one moment after, you cried out as you reached your climax. Your forehead rested against the door, feeling a little bit lightheaded, Hazel came out of you and turned you around. Now the kiss she left was sweet and she smiled with such innocence that made you laugh.

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “Oh, god, I hope you brought more make–up.” she said with her eyes a bit widen.

Making sure no one was there you both left the stall and your jaw dropped at your own image in the mirror. “Hazel, what the fuck!”

‍ ‍ ‍ ‍‍ “You loved it, don't lie.” she said after washing her hands and hugging you from behind while you where removing the lipstick and mascara ruined on your face. “You look gorgeous; with make-up, without make-up, all fucked up by me.”

You laughed loudly at that and once you finished cleaning your face you turned around to face her. “My place? No one's home and you still owe me, darling.”

Nodding with a big smile, both of you were quick to get out of the dance without saying goodbye to anyone and taking Hazel's car as you took Isabel's.

Later you were going to text. . . Yeah! Kevin! To tell him that you were over, but as in for right now, Hazel and you needed to get up-to-date about a bunch of stuff.

#hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms 2023 #bottoms movie #hazel callahan smut #hazel bottoms #hazel callahan x reader smut #hazel callahan x you #minors dni

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the-s1lly-corner · 11 months

Text

How they react to you telling them you're pregnant

Obligatory reader is afab but like most of my posts they're gn/gendered pronouns aren't used

Slenderman;

Cue the confusion

Pregnant?

Surprised more than anything, he didnt think that he could get you pregnant considering you're both different species

And also he didnt think he was fertile; at least not in the normal sexual reproduction way

Kinda just

Accepts it

Now do I think he would be a good dad?

Maybe? He wouldn't be horrible or absent, but some human things are still foreign to him, including raising a child.. so hes probably going to need a decent amount of guidance

I feel like he'd also be a helicopter parent? He already watches you like a hawk, he'd probably start doing the same with his kid as they get older

"Hey (kid name) who's that tall white boy following you??" "Oh that's my dad"/j

Becomes more protective of you during the pregnancy and the weeks after

Takes it in stride tbh

Splendorman;

Pause

Before you start to worry he scoops you up

Also thought it wasnt possible, but is hyped when he finds out the news

He WILL pamper you... may also dip into overbearing territory, though

He just doesnt want you or the baby to get hurt

He says goodnight to the bump later on in the pregnancy tbh

Oh you know hes gonna be decorating their room and giving them loads of toys

Would be a good father but may dip into unhealthy habits

This dude struggles with toxic positivity imo, so that's definitely something that's gonna need to be addressed

Laughing Jack;

Okay obviously ALL of them are probably going to be sat down and told the news, but Jack is gonna need the most talking to given that he probably doesn't grasp the gravity of it

He KNOWS what pregnancy is, he KNOWS what a baby is; but he doesn't know the intricacies of pregnancy if that makes sense

Like he doesnt know about the soreness, or cravings, or how fragile those tiny human beings actually are. Dude already struggles with being gentle with adults

So it's going to require a long and in depth talk about everything that's going to happen if you guys decide to keep the kid

Reaction wise, he takes it seriously. Kind of uncanny compared to his usual silly demeanor

Again, due to him being a lil dumb hes almost under reacting

As a parent I think...

Okay he'd probably kinda suck

He would love the kid but he would be so so so irresponsible I'm so sorry

Gives the kid candy for meals (bro cant cook)

Get that man into some parenting classes PLEASE

Eyeless Jack;

Another "I'm surprised because I deadass thought I was infertile" one, given my whole lore/Hc for EJ

The most worried out of them all

"What if they're like me and are cursed? What if they hate me? What if they grow to hate me? What if-"

He baby proofs his cabin... before insisting that the baby stays at your place primarily (if you haven't moved in with him) because he's scared of his whole... eating people thing

Please give him loads and loads of reassurance, hes gonna need it

He'll work hard to be the best father he can be, though!

He takes the kid out for walks in the woods, teaches them different plants and bugs and tells them which are dangerous

"Oh I don't want to hold them, what if I hurt em?" *falls asleep while holding his baby after reading them a story*

Masky;

You gotta baby proof him and the house im sorry, hes feral

Another "you're gonna have to sit him down and lay down the rules" type deal

Hes already mellowed out around you but he needs to mellow out a touch more for an infant

Hard to gauge his reaction but he seems.... excited? Hard to tell when hes sitting still and wearing a mask

When the baby comes he, like slenderman, also watches them like a hawk

You will walk in on him sitting over their crib at 3am/hj

Surprisingly gentle when it comes to handling the kid, just casually walks around with them and shit

Great for looking after the kid during the night while you rest

Hoodie;

V similar to Masky but he's already naturally calm

Putting this here now before I forget but he would take his mask off to make faces at the baby to try to make them laugh

Mf doesn't take his mask off for you though ☝️🙄/hj

Surprisingly good at calming down screaming infants for some reason

Similar reaction as Masky; hard to read but way easy to guess its positive since he lightly boinks where his mouth would be under his mask to your cheek while papping your stomach

Hes a lil silly

But hes got the spirit

Good dad, me thinks

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #slenderman x reader #splendorman x reader #laughing jack x reader #eyeless jack x reader #masky x reader #hoodie x reader

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king-dumbasz · 1 month

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Hi🫶🏻🫶🏻 could u do a mammon oneshot that takes place after fizz quits.(pretending the twins don’t exist) Like the reader is like the new face of his brand. Ppl start shipping the reader and him online, so he goes along with it for clout and money. But they both eventually end up catching feelings. ( ik it’s rlly specific but I keep thinking about it) also I like ur writing 💜

The internet is a magical place💚

I immediately liked the request and had an idea in mind. It's not something too difficult so my mind was happy Lmao

TW:why do I even put it in if there's never anything to worry about except for swear words, but c'mon, it's Helluva Boss

Mammon x GN! Reader

The news were full of what happened at the last clown pageant. Everything was about Fizzarolli and his relationship with Asmodeus and how Mammon was ridiculed...

Mammon was FURIOUS

He needed a new face, a new someone to put everywhere and make money. He did everything until he finally found it... He found you.

You were perfect! You were funny, good looking and great for the audience! The perfect clown to replace Fizzarolli!

Mammon immediately made plushies, cereal, service bots (you choose what kind of service), hell, even a body pillow of ya!

Phone cases... Halloween costumes for kids... Lamps... Everything!

You became a star!

But like every star, you were a victim of the internet effect of the rule too

For some unknown reason, people shipped you and Mammon

No one knew why, but when you opened your phone, on Envybrl (Tumblr), on Sintter (Twitter or X), there were fanart of you and Mammon

All kind of Fanart! (I know I don't do NSFW, but when I say any kind, I mean any kind)

Mammon saw it too, a lot of it too

"What is that? Wh- why are we hugging in this one?"

He says, pointing at his phone, looking at a fanart of him and you cuddling

"i don't know, sir... The internet scares me"

"Ye..."

Mammon didn't understand why. When Fizzarolli was there no one made these things, but with you it was different

The more Mammon watched, the more he realized how beautiful you looked, and how he liked these fanarts

Mammon started to like every post and imagine these things were true...

Every day, you find a new gift at your door from an unknown person, even if it wasn't that unknown because the wrapping was green black and yellow

One day though, Mammon decides to Rizz you up, because obviously he won't do it normally

"Sir, you wanted me here?"

You said after being called in his office, only to find Mammon in his special valentine outfit (It's just the old one but pink and with hearts)

"Hey, Are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because I’m feeling a strong connection"

That was horrible, adorable, but horrible

"Sir... What?"

"oh, shit uh... Well, I'm out of lines"

"What is happening?"

"Well, I never thought that would've happened, since you're a lower class and shit- but, I found myself liking these fan arts mentally unstable people post of us.."

"Oh!"

You were stunned. Mammon. THE Mammon... Likes you?"

"Well... If I'm gonna be honest... I also found myself liking some of those posts..."

Mammon didn't realise at first and looks at you confused (Idiot)

"I like you too"

Just after you tell him he realises. Mammon smiles widely and hugs you with his four arms, so tightly you couldn't breath

"oh, you're a bloody legend, Y/N!"

"Eh... The internet is really a magical place..."

#i love him #he's so stupid #hb mammon #helluva mammon #helluva boss #helluva boss mammon #helluva boss x reader #mammon x reader hb #mammon x reader #mammon x reader helluva boss #helluva boss mammon x reader #vivziepop #oneshot #mammon helluva boss #gn y/n #hellaverse

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genericpuff · 5 months

Note

Hold up, I'm curious now about when you said "Perse is a menace to lower nymphs" I thought at best she was neutral to some but I don't remember her ever just being outright horrible. Though that can very well just be my rose-colored glasses activating in the earlier parts of the story.

Oh geez let's see...

There was the time Persephone left Alex alone in the hospital room with the guy who had assaulted him and beat him half to death because he was "rude" (i.e. reasonably reacting to these two showing their faces around him):

And that time Persephone blackmailed Minthe to teach her how to do the job she was underqualified for two days after Hades had broken up with her and Persephone claimed to feel guilty:

Also that time she turned Minthe into a plant and then proceeded to not give a shit about her moments afterwards so she could flirt with the guy who she unapologetically had an affair with (in front of the plantified Minthe who she knew could hear them):

And then when she finally did turn Minthe back to normal, she immediately victimized herself over Minthe justifiably being angry:

And then there was that time she cornered Tori (former roommate of Alex) at his job to essentially berate him, all because of "gossip" that Tori had said ten fucking years ago (as if the gossip wasn't entirely true, it was Tori reacting to Alex getting mutilated by her boyfriend who she never really held accountable):

And all those times Persephone tried to claim she was being stifled by the nymphs in the Mortal Realm but then had the balls to claim she was "lonely" even though she literally had friends and sisters surrounding her who she wanted to get away from:

And then the icing on the cake, far more recently, that time she broke into the home of a nymph woman who had already embarrassed herself, just to threaten her, something that she was rewarded for by her husband:

She said ALL of that while failing to acknowledge the fact that she did the exact same thing to Minthe when she was with Hades. And she's not sorry for it, but she hypocritically tries to take the moral high ground as if she's never done the same thing.

Gee, I wonder how she could have turned out this way?

Persephone never really felt guilty for the things she did throughout the series, and she never took responsibility for her actions that affected others, in some cases she was flat out rewarded for her vitriol. And though this may not be intentional on Rachel's part, she comes across as someone who claims she was "lonely", when really she meant she just didn't have the company she specifically wanted - the company of gods, specifically male gods such as Hades.

Yes, the narrative tries to justify Persephone's actions towards these characters specifically - Alex, Minthe, Tori, Leuce, etc. - but fails to highlight the power imbalance where Persephone comes out on top just for being a goddess. Minthe reported her to Zeus for the wrong reasons, but she still deserved to go to trial for committing and hiding an Act of Wrath. Alex had no idea Persephone was a goddess and she never really did anything to take accountability for what Hades did to him. Tori's only crime was calling her a "dark concubine" a couple times ten years ago, something she absolutely should have let go of by now. Leuce had already embarrassed herself by trying to make the moves on Hades, so breaking into her home and filling it with farm animals and threatening her accomplished nothing beyond stroking Persephone's ego trip.

And that's not getting into how the narrative as a whole promotes mistreatment towards nymphs and satyrs (i.e. lower class people) so Persephone and Hades being in the upper class is similar to billionaires in the real world - they only achieved that wealth on the backs of the lower class, so they're part of the problem, not the exception to it. And these are the characters we're supposed to be rooting for.

I rest my case.

#also i didn't get to mention how hades has to tell the audience that she's compassionate for others but we rarely see it #so it feels so forced and fake #esp when her actions speak otherwise #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #ama #ask me anything #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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huexuri · 3 months

Text

⊹ what are we? (fem!reader x gyu)

NSFW, MDNI!

warnings: fem!reader, college au, crying (not dacryphilia), slight body worshipping, size kink mentions, bsf!beomgyu

note: gyu looks so fucking good in the photos above i'm so wet (i'm menstruating.) and also i was gonna end this as fluff but why stop there when u can have so much more right

you finally arrive to your same old eyesore of a college building, drained and exhausted which was very painfully obvious by the way your eyebags were heavier than usual and the way you didn't even bother to make your hair like you usually did — just slapping on a claw clip like a hair tie and your hair is falling apart each step you take. your shirt is crumpled because you didn't bother to iron it, and your heavy ass bag is barely staying on your shoulder as you have to readjust it every 5 seconds.

you really didn't want to come today, but you don't have a choice. your legs hurt and your eyelids are uneven and you're sighing the entire way to your hostel. you being in horrible shape, swearing to yourself that if someone asked you if you were okay, you'd burst into tears and start having a breakdown in the middle of your lecture. and your best friend beomgyu noticed this, being the only one watching you as you walk through the hallways lazily.

finally settling all the mess that followed you this morning, you head to the bathroom to try to look presentable. putting your hair in an actual ponytail and curling your lashes while smothering on some of your lip balm, you finally collect yourself and head out, just to bump into another student, standing at the end of the hallway seemingly waiting for someone.

"oh my god- ugh! i'm really so sorry, today has just been a rough one, i'm so blur right now—" you mutter out frantically, accidentally knocking the little strawberry protein bar off their hand and onto the floor.

"girl!! it's okay, it's me! it's gyu, don't worry oh my gosh.." beomgyu giggled slightly at your anxiousness and picked up the protein bar. brushing the dust off of the plastic packaging, he hands it to you.

you take some time to regain yourself — you're about to cry because of how bad your day is starting, but realizing that it's beomgyu that you bumped into after seeing static, you finally let out a sigh of relief.

"oh.... um what's this gyu??" you take the protein bar from him. it's your favourite strawberry protein bar that you always stole from beomgyu because you didn't know where he got it.

"it's for you, i know how much you liked it so i bought a separate bar for you. you seemed really tired so i thought that it'd help a bit." your friend said casually, patting your shoulder as reassurance.

"i'm not tired!" you said frustratedly, "just... today's not going well, i—"

"i can see right through you, i know you're not okay. just eat it, and i'll see you in class. okay?" he pecks at your forehead so casually as if he does it on a daily basis. this was the first time he'd ever done that, and you can't lie, butterflies swarmed in your churning stomach.

beomgyu starts to walk away as you stare at him in disbelief for a good 5 seconds, before shouting a weak "stop!.." his way, and his head turns right at you.

running to him while stuffing the bar into your pocket of your sweatpants, you hug him so tightly, the warmth of his body and the plush of his hoodie feeling like silk on your skin.

when he bends down to return the hug, your head in the crook of his neck, you finally break down onto him, beads of salty tears staining his hoodie.

"i'm so sorry, i don't even know why i'm c-crying." you mutter, even more muffled when you speak into the cloth but he still understood you.

"hey, hey, shh.. it's gonna be okay. what about we hang out later, or like.. i bring you shopping, or... do you need water? what do you need? it'll be okay, please don't cr—"

"i need you.." you reply hastily, sniffling, and arms wrapped around him tighter than before.

"after the lesson, okay? okay pretty? don't cry, you're so strong." beomgyu replies, his big hands patting the small of your back. he always called you pretty as a supportive friendly "go girl!" way, but it felt so different when he reassured you, it felt so genuine. it made you feel prettier than he'd usually do. you felt like his pretty girl.

pulling apart from his embrace, you nod and sniffle, your nose and eyes red as he cups your face and wipes your tears away with his thumb, sweetly caressing your face.

the both of you finally calm down and you walk to class together. you don't know how to see him now, is he still your friend or are you both more than that? maybe he was just being affectionate because he's a supportive friend, but what kind of friend would—

snapping out of your thoughts as you both arrive to your seats, gyu being seated next to you. he admires you as you munch on the protein bar he gave you, even breaking off a piece for him.

your lecturer is talking but all you can think about is his arm around your chair, lightly fidgeting with the sleeve of your shirt. your head is rested comfortably on his shoulder and you're really trying your best to take notes. but it's hard when you both are so close like this, it's like another side of him has revealed to you the moment you started sobbing. you're not complaining. it feels great to have someone like him as a.... friend?

classes finally ended, and the both of you meet up again, planning to go to a shopping mall to cheer you up. you already did feel better after he hugged you, but beomgyu kept insisting he'd bring you out to eat all the bingsu you want, and that it'd be on him. how can you ever decline that?

the both of you had the best day at the shopping mall, and the both of you even took little polaroid photos together.

hopping in his car, preparing to return to the both of your designated hostels, there's the sound of the car engine revving and the both of you sigh after what seemed to be .. sort of a date.

but there was still an aching question that never faded from the back of your head that you'd ought to ask him since this morning.

"what are we?"

you hadn't realized you just said it out loud. when he replies you, you slightly shiver.

"wanna find out?" he replies to you as he started to drive.

"..."

there was a silence for a few minutes. it wasn't awkward, but rather as if he gave you time to ponder.

"can i kiss you?" you blurted out, breaking the silence.

beomgyu swerved and parked at a remote place. it was dark outside and the city lights are miles away.

"what are you waiting for?" beomgyu looked at you with expectancy in his glistening brown eyes.

looking around hesitantly, hoping that nobody would see you guys, beomgyu lifts your chin with his soft hands, waiting for an answer.

"i-i don't know," you muttered.

"then go on, kiss me, pretty girl." beomgyu smiled at you with reassurance.

you closed your eyes as he pulled you close. his cold lips met yours and one of your palm cups his cheek as the other grip on his fluffy hair. your noses touch and beomgyu sighs as he sinks into you, now torso on top of yours, the both of you decide to take it to the backseat.

not breaking the kiss in this entire 20 seconds as your tongues play fight with each other, your mouth taking his lips in, his teeth gliding onto your lips. you sloppily let go of the kiss as a string of saliva connects your lips with his. you're both catching breaths and panting slowly, gazing at each other with awe.

"what are we now?" you say, almost in a whisper.

"is this not enough to answer your question?" beomgyu says while wiping his mouth.

"i don't think so.." you coo, and a pretty grin replaces beomgyu's tireless expression.

running your fingers down his torso and trailing little kisses down his clothed pecs, getting closer and closer to his bud, you look up at him, eyeing him with consent and he nods.

you lift his shirt up to reveal his toned body that he always hid under his baggy shirts. you praise his body with your love and finally, you lay a tongue on his bud. hands on his chest as his shirt's folds rest on the top of your head. you draw little circles with your tongue around his bare nipple and he sighs at that, his back arching away from the car seat for a bit before laying on the car seat again, head thrown back after looking at the lovely sight from above.

you do the same to his other nipple, painting it wet with your spit before letting go and slowly making your way down to his waistband, getting dangerously close to his erection that grew the more you came closer.

beomgyu strokes your hair and tucks your face framing piece behind your ear, with hope that you'll quickly help his aching boner already..

tracing his v-line with your soft fingers and tugging at his waistband before gazing up at his pretty features, waiting for permission.

beomgyu eagerly nods his head, eyes glossy with plead.

"please, go on.." he whispers impatiently, his cock already seeming to want to burst out of his pants.

"okay, okay." you giggle softly and unzip his pants, pulling it and bunching it up towards you, only to be met with the sight of his throbbing cock, the only barrier between you and him being the thin polyester of his boxers.

he's bigger than you expected. it felt odd that you'd be thinking about your best friend's cock now that it's in front of you. once you struggle to pull down his boxers, immediately his cock springs out and slightly hits his own stomach. now, with much ease you continue to pull down his boxers and... well, you're not even sure if you can take him whole.

with a final knowing look at him, beomgyu gives you the green light as he adjusts his position to rest his back.

he gasps as you take him in your mouth, the feeling of your warmth enveloping his shaft is exhilarating to him.

"s-shit,... that feels so..." beomgyu murmured, his eyebrows in a slight frown. his eyes lustrous, looking at your pretty face as you sink down on him.

he loses himself in the pleasure,, moaning softly and thrusting upward into each stroke of your mouth. he gently fists at your hair — eyes fluttering shut as his mouth grows agape, whimpers escaping him now and then.

you on the other hand; you're hollowing your cheeks so you can take him as much as you can, despite his almost unnatural size and girth. the beads of precum that slide effortlessly down your throat each time you lower your head onto him and his slit taps the back of your throat.

"d-does it feel good?" you mumble, with him still in your mouth.

"fuck yes it does, i..." beomgyu's eyes roll backwards when you basically swallow his cock. "you're so good at this, h-how.. oh my— holy shit,"

you start to increase your pace at his words, bubbles of spit collecting at the back of your throat, coating the entirety of his quivering tip, slightly gagging on it.

"oh my fucking god."

beomgyu's whispers send you to heaven on earth. his pretty shaking voice is like candy for your ears. the sight of his sweaty hair falling in front of his eyes, his lips drying up because it'd been slightly parted for so long. finally licking his lips and bucking his hips up into you, you can feel his pelvis stutter, and you know he's going to squirt into your mouth, so you prepare — positioning yourself to sink onto him before he—

"fuck, cummin', a-aah—"

hot cum spurts down your throat and with ease, you take it all. his hips buck up to pump it all out of him and his grip on your hair loosens.

you finally let go of his cock along with the breath you'd been holding for god knows how long. stretching his boxers over his cock and then his pants, you crawl onto him with one final kiss so he'd taste himself off of you.

"today wasn't a bad day after all hm?" beomgyu smiled, his hand rubbing your upper back as if to release the tension from your previous position.

"not anymore, now that i can confirm that we're more than just best friends." you return the smile gently.

"yeah, we're best best friends!" beomgyu teased.

"gyu!! oh my god, you little rat..."

#xuri writes #txt smut #beomgyu smut #beomgyu hard thoughts #beomgyu hard hours #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu x reader #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts

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once-upon-an-imagine · 10 months

Note

Remus, on the other hand, would be just as shy, maybe a little less than her, but still a little shy.

Sirius and James would do their best to get him to talk to her since he mostly watches her.

She would be walking in the hallway and suddenly crash against something, or better someone. James and Sirius would've (gently... or not😂) pushed Remus towards her. He would start to apologise, and he would almost miss his chance, but takes a deep breath and just ask her about a class they have together.

In the background, James and Sirius high five😂

I love this so much! every description of the characters is 100% accurate 😂Warnings: noneDisclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter 😊 gifs aren’t mine 😁

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A Little Push

"What are you looking at, Moons?" Sirius asked, walking over to his friend with James by his side. The three of them stood at the corner of a hallway, a bit hidden.

"Oh, look, it's your girl!" James smirked, spotting you walking down the hall with one too many books.

"Shut up!" he widened his eyes at his friends. "She's not my girl-"

"Well, obviously not, you've never spoken to her. You just stand there and stare at her. It's rather creepy, Moons" Sirius mocked him.

"Shove off!"

"Oh, don't be such a sourwolf, Moony" Sirius said, pinching his cheek, which Remus quickly snapped away.

"You know, you won't die if you talk to her" James tried to encourage him.

"We don't know that" Remus said, landing his eyes on you again. He wanted to talk to you. He really did, but every time he tried he started stuttering and it felt like his entire mind went blank and he made a fool out of himself.

"Well, you can find out" Sirius smirked, looking back at James who understood what he was going to do.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's coming this way" Sirius started.

"She's got an awful lot of books in her hands" James continued.

"I'm pretty sure she would appreciate someone helping her" Sirius stated but Remus stayed silent.

"He means you, Moony" James told him.

"I can't help her!"

"Why not?"

"I can barely talk to her? Why would I even say?"

"I see your point, that's a good question" James said.

"But you know, also..." Sirius started before he and James placed their hands on Remus' back.

Before Remus knew what was happening, he felt himself being pushed out of his hiding spot, making him crash directly into you, and the many books in your hands scatter on the floor. He noticed you were about to land on the floor as well, but he quickly grabbed your wrist and his other arm landed on your waist, preventing you from falling. Sirius and James quickly backed down a little just enough so they wouldn't be seen but they could still see what was going on.

"M-Merlin, I am s-so sorry!" Remus stammered out. He didn't know what to feel. He was embarrassed, he was furious at his friends, but most of all, he was absolutely starstruck by you. He had never had you this close. "Are you hurt? I am so sorry, I d-didn't mean to-"

"I'm s-sorry, R-Remus" you said, feeling your cheeks burn horribly. You weren't really paying attention and now you had just crashed into your long-time crush, Remus Lupin. You had always wanted to talk to him outside of class, but this was not the way you thought it would happen. "I w-wasn't looking where I was going and I- uh-"

"N-no, it was my fault, love" he said, widening his eyes when he realized what he called you. But he let out a sigh of relief when he saw you smile even if your cheeks were burning even further.

"He called her 'love'" James whispered to Sirius, still looking at the two of you.

"I am so proud" Sirius said as the two of them bumped their fists.

"L-let me help you" Remus said, quickly kneeling to pick up the books you dropped.

"Oh, it's alright, Remus, really-" you said, starting to kneel as well but Remus quickly grabbed all the books from the floor. "Um, thank you" you said, shyly, beginning to get the books from him.

Remus quickly turned to look where his two friends were glaring at him and Sirius signaling at the books and then at you, so he cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and returned to you.

"Oh, please, let me" he said, grabbing the books again. "After all, I'm the one that made you drop them all" he smiled at you, and you felt like your heart was going to explode. Remus felt the same when he heard you laugh lightly.

"Oh, n-no, that's okay" you muttered. "You must have better things to do-"

"I don't mind" he insisted. "I b-believe we both have Transfiguration next" he told you. "I can walk with you" he offered. "If y-you don't mind, of course" he chuckled.

"I w-would like that" you told him. "B-but you don't have to carry all my books-"

"It's the least I can do, love" he brushed you off, loving your bright smile coming into view once more before he started talking about one of the books that you had with you that just happened to be his favorite.

"He said it again!" James said to Sirius, punching his arm excitedly.

"Our work here is done, Prongsie" Sirius said, as they high-fived.

The End

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A/N: hope you liked it, loves :)

#marauders #marauders imagine #remus lupin #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin imagine #james potter imagine #sirius black imagine #remus lupin dialogue #james potter dialogue #sirius black dialogue #remus lupin x reader

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yuri-is-online · 6 months

Note

I feel like Octavinelle would all respond pretty well to you being lonely tbh

Azul: Bullied, lonely child? Only two friends made because he was "fun" enough and felt at risk of losing them? If you talk about being lonely he MIGHT bring up a contract, but I could also see your honesty being met by the most clumsy olive branch of him stammering that HE could be your friend... since hes so generous, of course (liar he wants a friend too)

Floyd: What?! That's no fun! Being lonely almost as bad as being bored! He kind of thrives on attention/entertainment so I feel like his solution is just to drag you wherever he goes. YOU have to be the one to say that no, you have to go to your own class not his.

Jade: While I do think he would be most manipulative if you told him you're lonely, I think it would be tame - akin to "hey eat this weird mushroom" or dragging you on a hike you are NOT experienced enough for as his "requirements" for companionship. He wouldn't stop hanging out if you refused, he really just likes seeing your reactions. I also don't think he'd ever kick you out of a room he's in, and he'd do his own thing while you do yours

I'm so glad you sent this because I was just thinking while I was settling to sleep that I had a lot more to say but was worried a separate post might be too much.

All Three

If there is one thing Twisted Wonderland does really well it's acknowledging the inhuman aspects of its characters. Malleus has so much magic he fails to solve problems without it, Ruggie has really sensitive hearing, Leona talks about smell a lot etc.

Point being the trio has a bunch of things they find weird about life on land. They're not really going to make fun of Yuu for feeling out of place. Assuming they don't trip and fall a whole bunch, that's just too easy.

They're technically new up here too yeah? Let them show you the ropes.

Azul

He's surprisingly soft with Yuu during events. Especially if you pick dialogue options that show intelligence or planning.

^ this happens if you get why he's selling salad cups I think?

^ and this one is if you assume you'll be using the bell of salvation to destroy the flowers

My one amendment to your idea is that I don't think he'd be shy about it at all. He'd be putting forward a show of confidence because of how he was slighted in the past. He would think your friendship was the most natural conclusion in the whole world.

Your smart. He's smarter. Together you could make some real magic! And maybe play some board games. He could use some time to relax.

Floyd

Completely right. I already talked a lot about him in my original answer, but I do think he enjoys hanging out with Yuu when he's in the mood to be social.

He's got all of that extrovert energy Idia's so afraid of, and if you start indulging him, you won't get to stop. I think he'd be really happy to have someone go along with what it is he wants to do no matter how outlandish it gets. Even better if you look like you're having fun!

I could see him say that you "owe him" for hanging out with you when he wants some of your food though.

Jade

Oh? You're lonely? What a shame. How horrible. Terrible really.

That must mean you'll have no problem signing up for his club right? Because that's very much what I could see him doing. He really wants another member to order arou- I mean enjoy the mountains with.

^ If you tell Epel you will be "Here for whatever [the team] needs." When he asks you to help run the Pit Stop, Jade immediately decides this means you will commit a crime for him. Which to be fair-

I would object to the bit about taking you on a hike you're unqualified for though. He tells you not to try climbing Mount Moln until you've done an easier one first.

Obviously I agree about the sketchy mushrooms. If he's brave enough to walk into the Culinary Crucible with them, what's Ramshackle?

Him coming to the Ramshackle guest room to sit quietly while you both do your own thing is something he'd really enjoy. You make much more interesting faces when he gives you a break from his teasing.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader

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gummygowon · 1 year

Text

wanna be yours | choi san

word count: 8k (longest one yet lads)

genre: non-idol au, experienced!san x best friend/virgin!reader, fluff, smidges of angst, and smut

warnings: pwp, protected sex, slight hair-pulling?, cunnilingus f receiving, the concept of virginity, drinking and i think that's it? but please lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: this is my first like smut-smut so please so beware lol but other than that i'm really proud of how this turned out! also this is dedicated and a belated xmas present to @agustdiv1ne bc she has helped me sm with this oneshot omfg (ty again bae <;3)

the friday night after finals could only mean one thing. getting absolutely shitfaced at mingi's before going back home from university. because how else are you supposed to de-stress in college?

although you weren't at that level of drunk yet at the small house party your friend hosted, you still agreed to play truth or dare like immature high schoolers.

following a giggling hyejoo to the living room, you hear seonghwa asking something about being too old to be playing such a childish game followed by wooyoung pointing out that he still came over to play so who cares. sitting in between hyejoo and san, you naturally gravitate towards your best friend linking your arm with his for warmth.

"hi sannie." you beam brightly at him, you cheeks flushed red from the alcohol.

"hi y/n." he smiles down at you again, his dimple poking out. san didn't drink that much tonight since he was a lightweight and didn't want to feel whatever terrifying concoction mingi and jongho made up in the kitchen in preparation for the people who didn't want to answer their truth or do their dares.

after settling down in a rough circle, wooyoung starts the game by asking yeosang if he ever got caught masturbating which lead him to go take a shot of the mystery juice. the shot caused him to gag horribly after he downed it leading to jongho and mingi high-fiving each other in accomplishment.

next, yeosang got karina to admit some dirty secret of her hooking with her ta in calc causing giselle to shout out about her doubts of karina's grade being so high in calc for someone who doesn't go to class. as the game went on, hyejoo and yunho ended up topless and honjoong and san fell victim to the mystery juice and was even tipsier than when the game started. you on the other hand were dared to go lick either wooyoung's toe or shoe and you opted for the shoe of course because you did not where his feet have been and you had to confess to ever surviving a no nut november (last year you almost folded but still got through). this turn however, things got a little more interesting.

wooyoung had dared you to go make out with san in a closet and although no one knew about your little secret crush on san besides hyejoo, wooyoung had a knack for knowing who everyone was into. it was scary honestly, he predicted a lot of relationships and figured out who was who's sneaky link.

"so, what's it gonna be y/n? shot or closet?" wooyoung presses with a smirk on his face. he knew. oh, that fucker.

your eyes drift to san to make sure he was comfortable with the idea which lead to him shrugging his shoulders, "i'm down if you're okay with it."

with a tug, you pull san up from his seat and look wooyoung dead in the eye, "closet."

"alright then," he claps his hands as he gets up to usher you to the storage closet in the living room, "come out whenever you're ready, we're gonna keep playing while we wait, alright lovebirds?"

you roll your eyes and shoo wooyoung away from the door, "fuck off."

with the shut of the door, you realize how close you were to san. whatever nerves you had from the wave of courage you had five minutes ago disappeared more and more as san looked down at you.

"we don't have to do it, if you don’t want to." he reassures as he reaches for your arms in order to comfort you.

"i w-wanna do it." you stutter making your heart beat out of your chest even more. "i'm just-i've never done it before."

san looks at you perplexed, he knew about all the terrible dates and weird exes you had so he assumed that you at least made out with them. "i thought-"

"i didn't, i haven't even lost my virginity yet and now i'm really scared because i'm kissing my best friend who probably thinks they're a prude and what if i'm really bad and i mess things up and you hate it for it and-"

to shut you up, san presses his lips against yours as you melt into the kiss and allow him to take over. with a smooth swipe of his tongue, you part your lips slightly just enough for him to slip in earning a sweet moan from you. his hand sneaks his way to the back of your head to pull you even closer to him and further deepen the kiss.

when you pull back, your lipstick was all over his face and your lips were puffy and swollen. your eyes were locked on san as he put his forehead on yours, his eyes closed as he chest heaved up and down to catch his breath.

"you're not so bad." he comments, still not looking up at you. "fast learner if anything."

"san!" you whine, slapping san on the shoulder causing him to open his eyes.

he backs up, trying to get away from you as much as he can in the cramped closet, "hey, i'm giving you a compliment."

"that's a shitty compliment." you fire back with a pout on your lips as your eyes focus on the floor.

swiftly, san reaches your chin with his thumb forcing you to look up at him. without even hesitating, san leans in kissing the pout off of your lips. with a sudden spark of rebellion, you pull at the belt loops on his pants and pull him close to you catching san by surprise.

this time san is the first one to pull away to catch his breath. "see, you're a fast learner." he breathlessly teases.

"i'm leaving." you half-joke as you reach for the door knob.

san immediately reaches for your arm, pulling you back into him, "nope, you're helping me clean this up." he states as he points to the lipstick smeared all over his face before feeling the wall around him for the lights.

"aren't you old enough to do this yourself?" you whine as you lick your thumb and try to rub off the pink lip gloss off his plump lips.

"yeah, but i want you to do it." san answers as he places his hands on your waist. absentmindedly, he begins to rub small circles onto your hips as you quietly undo the damage you did to his lips.

san probably didn't notice the effect he had on you but holy fucking shit your face felt ten times warmer than it was when you were kissing him. it could be the alcohol settling in possibly but who knows. maybe san just had that effect on you.

"you know san, you're really fucking hot." you confess without thinking as you wipe the lip gloss off your fingers. "i would date you, if i could."

it took a minute for san to process what the fuck you just said. there was a high chance he misheard you but if he did hear you correctly well, he's gonna keep you in here for another minute or so.

before san could even respond or even act out, you realize what you just said and immediately start freaking out.

"i did not mean that. i-" you stutter, waving your hands in the air.

a harsh knock came to the door followed by wooyoung poking his head out, "are the lovebirds done? joong and hyejoo wanna play a different game."

oh how you could kiss wooyoung for his amazing timing. "we're done." you quickly say as you smooth out your outfit before joining wooyoung in the living room leaving a confused san.

"y/n! how was it?" hyejoo slurs as she throws herself on you.

if whatever happened in the closet was the only thing san could remember from tonight, you were fucking doomed. for now though, that was an issue for tomorrow. tonight, you were going to indulge in a few more drinks in order to forget what happened moments ago.

the next morning after mingi's was a rough one. your hangover was probably the worst one of the semester and boy was that telling. your memory from last night was a little foggy, some parts you recall very clearly some not. but the one thing you do fucking remember was wooyoung's sneaky ass setting you up with san during truth or dare. kissing san, you remembered very clearly maybe a little too clearly but whatever happened in between and after that was a blur. you briefly remembered wooyoung opening the door but that was about it.

rolling out of bed, you check your phone to see that san had called. annoyed, you call back hoping whatever it was a good enough reason for you to call in the morning.

"yah, choi san what do you want? it's so early?" you complain, rubbing your eyes awake.

"y/n, it's literally two pm." san deadpans.

"so?" you sass back, "it's still too early for me."

you hear san sigh on the other end, "ok anyways, did you finish the plan for the comp sci workshop? seonghwa is asking for it, he said you were supposed to send it earlier this morning."

a part of you freezes in shock while the other part of you scans your room for your laptop that was covered in papers and notes from studying. "you're fucking joking right."

"nope."

"oh my fucking god, i totally forgot about it while i was studying for exams shit. oh my fucking god. fuck." you curse as you hurriedly get out of bed.

"don't worry, i covered for your ass and told seonghwa that you were working on it which is why you weren't answering your phone. i'm also on the way to help you finish the plan because hwa has some suggestions for it too"

"oh bless your heart, choi san." you praise as you begin your morning routine.

it was around six o'clock by the time you submitted the doc and slideshow to seonghwa and holy fuck were you tired. there was no way you could have pulled this off without the help of san. truly thankful for your best friend, you offered to buy dinner on you and he had the opportunity to chose.

"on you, for real?" he asks in surprise as you begin to clean up the dinner table that was used as a makeshift desk for the past couple of hours. "i thought you were broke."

it took every fiber in you to not throw the hefty textbook in your hand at him. "do you want food or not."

"yes, please!" he immediately back tracks. "fried chicken is fine."

aggressively, you hand him your phone before heading back to your room to put everything away. "order what you want but don't pay i wanna get stuff for myself too."

"thank youuu." san sings as he begins to scroll through doordash.

while in your room, you took the chance to try and process your feelings. it was a no brainer you loved san. he was always there for you ever since you guys met each other in high school. san's been there for your worst and best days of your life and it was always a given that you were there for days like those for him.

however, your use of "love" began to slowly change this year. you've been single for awhile after your last breakup which was a lot of emotional damage to handle but san was always there to comfort you. him on the other hand looked for causal hookups, nothing serious. san was young, he confessed to not wanting to start any relationships because he just wanted to mess around for awhile until he graduated from college.

which left you wondering why you felt jealous whenever san couldn't hang out on friday nights or left the club early. it was probably obvious to everyone as to why you were jealous but you could never admit it.

it was way too cliche to have fallen for your best friend and it certainly didn't help that he didn't take anything seriously when it came to dating. but choi san made it hard for you to not fall for him.

san was the perfect gentlemen. he's always attentive and remembers the little things about you. he always knew when you were feeling sad or mad and always knew how to handle your moods. he knew your coffee order along with your fears. san knew your likes and dislikes and knew when to stop teasing you if you ever got upset or uncomfortable. not to mention he was fucking fine as hell. sure, it is a little weird to be calling your best friend hot but it's literally choi san. everyone's campus crush unfortunately. there was just no way you couldn't have fallen for him.

"y/n, how much are you gonna eat?" san shouts from down the hall pulling you out of your thoughts.

"uhhhh... how much are you gonna eat?" you ask, taking a moment to compose yourself before walking back into the living room.

at least you were his best friend. best friend. a title that left you feeling grateful yet wanting more. maybe one day, you would tell him how you truly feel about him but for now you're content with being his best friend.

"oh my god, there's mozzarella sticks too!" san chirps from the couch.

"get me one!" you shout as you jump onto the couch. "just mozzarella with sugar and i could go for a couple of wings."

"ok..." san trails as he inputs your order, "do you want something to drink?"

"no, it's fine. i have some soda and soju in the fridge."

"fuck yeah!"

once completing the order, san repeats what he has in the cart before pressing the "order now" button and hands back your phone.

"thanks sannie." you reach for the phone before continuing, "and for coming here to help me finish. i don't know what i would've done without you."

"no problem, anything for you." san answers with a smile on his face.

afterward, silence fell in the room. there were very rare occasions where silences were awkward but this one felt different. it felt tense? maybe you were reading into it too much but the atmosphere felt odd.

"you know," san begins breaking the silence, "you said some interesting things last night."

an abrupt cough broke your voice before you could reply, "i'm sorry what?"

san repeats what he said before continuing, "y'know, i wouldn't mind helping you out."

"helping me out with what?" your heart was practically beating of your chest when you questioned san. exactly what the fuck did drunk you say in that damn closet.

"yesterday, you mentioned that you were a virgin before we kissed and that you were a little embarrassed about it."

"so, you're asking me if i would want you to help me lose my virginity?" you ask, not quite sure if you're hearing the words come out of san's mouth right.

"yeah, i mean it's better than losing it to a complete stranger right? but if talking about this is making you uncomfortable i will shut up about this and pretend this never happened. you just gotta tell me." the man across from you reassures, his face unreadable.

"i can't tell if you're joking about this."

"why would i joke about something that you have an issue with?" san responds back, his tone serious.

you take a minute to let his words soak in because you're still sure you're not hearing him correctly. choi san, your best friend wants to take your virginity? and why are you lowkey comfortable with the idea? are best friends supposed to be doing this? doesn't this break some type of boundary or cross some line of being friends?

"if you don't want to, there's no rush y/n. i'm only offering this because i think you would be comfortable with someone you know and trust. plus, i'm already tested and i'm clean so you don't need to worry about catching anything."

san made great points on his case and you really wanted to lose your v-card and to him? even better. your only concern was how would this affect your friendship afterward. what if your feelings for him get too strong?

"you promise this won't affect our friendship?"

"i swear on it." san raises his pinky out, "i promise this won't affect anything between us. it'll just be like me doing another favor for you."

taking his pinky with yours, you seal the promise by using your thumb to connect with his, "deal."

"deal." san agrees as he smiles, his dimple poking out. "can i ask you a few questions though?"

"shoot away."

"you've cummed before right?"

"uh yeah." you answer, feeling slightly uncomfortable with talking about such a taboo topic with your best friend. you've heard bits and pieces of san's sex life but he's never heard about yours and now is the perfect time to start laying out everything.

"so you've masturbated before?" you nod in response leading to san asking a few more follow up questions, "with your fingers or with a toy?"

"both, hyejoo got me a vibrator for my birthday."

"oh? we love to see it." san comments with a surprised look on his face, "what are you into and what are some hard no's?"

"hmmm, i'm definitely into praise. maybe hair-pulling? oh, and i like it when people are possessive? y'know when someone let's their partner know that they their's or something. hard no's though would be degradation but do i like dirty talk."

out of all the things you've confessed tonight, saying no to degradation got an eyebrow raise from san.

"what?" you snap, "call me a whore and you're fucking dead."

"noted." san raises his arms up in surrender.

"your turn now, what are you into and not?" a part of you was a little excited to hear about what he had to say.

"well, i like to hear and give praise and sometimes edging. i also like it when someone pulls my hair and when they're loud. it lets me know that i'm doing something right. i also wouldn't mind getting topped. but i'm not into super bdsm or anything extreme right now."

"interesting, i'll keep that in mind."

"last question, i swear." san starts, "have you ever been eaten out before?"

"no. i didn't really get into much with any of my partners."

"well," he pauses for dramatic effect, "you wanna know how it feels like?"

"like, right now?" there goes your heart again, racing a hundred miles per hour.

"i mean we have some time before the food gets here so..."

the mere thought of san going down on you and being the first person to do had you rubbing your thighs together. "fuck it."

the both of you move to the couch where you let san climb on top. "is it okay, if i kiss you again?"

you nod, afraid to use your voice. this was really happening.

"yes, please." you whisper, still not trusting your voice.

"i need words baby." san demands as one of his hands lifts your chin up.

"don't be shy baby, it's just me." he comforts as the hand on your chin rises to your cheek. "i'll take care of you, just relax."

looping your hands around his neck, you nod beginning to allow yourself to relax. san uses the hand on your cheek to meet him in the middle as he pulls you into a sweet kiss. it was less sloppier than the last time you kissed him yet san was already pulling sounds out of your mouth and he hadn't even touched you yet.

san pulls away moving his lips to your neck as he softly licks different spots on your neck, switching between kitten licks and nibbling. soft pants were escaping your mouth which made san want to hear more from you. with the next lick of your neck, san followed up with a harder bite on your neck but quickly soothed the pain with the swipe of his tongue eliciting a sweet moan from you.

you could feel san's smile of victory on your neck as he leaves one last kiss on your neck before pulling away. "ready?" he asks, waiting for a verbal confirmation which you comply with quickly. "just relax and let me do the work. don't hesitate to stop me if you ever feel comfortable."

this time you nod your head shyly in response as san eyes you down for any signs of discomfort. "i trust you."

san smiles in response as one of his hands begin to travel downwards, his lips going back to your neck. his hands start off with a small rub on your hips then snake further down to the waistband of your pants. you were beyond grateful you were wearing some of your newer underwear but that was in the back of your mind when san cupped your clothed core.

"oh fuck." you groan, his fingers taking you by surprise as they run and up down your slit.

"already such a mess and i've barely touched you." he coos at you making you whimper.

"stop teasing please," you plead, grabbing onto his arm.

san removes his hand from your pants causing you to pout but before you could even whine, san pulls down your sweats after moving to the edge of the couch.

"fuck," san groans, the sight of you dripping for him was making him lose his mind.

san takes small kitten licks, taking his sweet time with you as he watches for your reactions. these small licks weren't doing it for you though as one of your hands snaked to the back of his head trying to use it as leverage to speed things up.

"patience, baby." he says as he presses your hips down, making you whimper.

"please, just go faster," you beg, looking at him hopelessly.

as on cue, san takes two fingers to spread your lips apart before quickening his pace. the difference in speed had you gasping as you tugged on his hair.

"ooh my god, so close." you pant, the grip on his hair tightening.

san groans into your sopping pussy sending vibrations into your core and bringing you closer to the edge. to add on to the burning feeling in your stomach, he brings a hand up to your clit to speed up ur orgasm.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" you cry out feeling the knot in your stomach burst.

your orgasm washes over you, leaving you breathless as san continues to lick up your cum. the overstimulation building up was beginning to burn as you tug on san's hair to stop.

san immediately pulls away with your essence dripping down his chin but that doesn't stop him as he dives into a heated kiss with you, letting you taste yourself on your tongue.

when he pulls back a sickening smile spreads across his face, "thoughts?"

to be honest, you were completely breathless with how fucking amazing san just ate you out and with how san was staring down at you right now with a stupid smirk on his face. "that...was great."

the smile on his face is gone as san frowns, "just great? i put my all into that."

you roll your eyes, grabbing the nearest pillow, you smack san on the chest. "i can't really think right now asshole."

"is it because i ate you out really good?" san genuinely asks, a smile returning his face.

"no you dumbass, the project really got my ass." you throw your hands into the air, chest still heaving.

"oh."

"oh my god." you groan. "just give me my clothes."

"wait, let me clean you up first." san objects before jogging down your hall towards your bathroom.

upon returning, san found you half asleep as your eyes were shut. still, he got on his knees and carefully took the wet rag to clean you up and his face.

your eyes fluttered open to see san below you again dabbing the inside of your legs carefully with a towel. instinctively, your hand flies to his hair as you stroke through his locks. "thank you." you hum, "you really did a good job."

san physically tensed up at your touch or maybe it was your words, either way he pulled away with a light blush on his face as he handed you a fresh pair of underwear and sweats. "of course, next time should be even funner."

"funner isn't a word." you quip, trying to ignore the excitement pooling in your stomach for the next time you guys hook up.

"shut up and move." san shushes as he climbs onto the couch with you, pulling you into his side.

the warmth coming from his body was too delicious as you felt your eyes droop even further. "san, i'm gonna fall asleep."

"just nap and i'll wake you up when the food is here."

although you had your doubts about san waking you up as soon as the food came because you feared that he would take all the chicken legs and then wake you up, you awoke to everything untouched (thankfully).

the food tasted like heaven as you guys chowed down however san would argue that you tasted better than whatever chicken piece he was eating.

ever since that night when san came over, something in you changed. you ached for san to touch you like that again and although you usually see san almost every day, you haven't seen him in a couple of days. you knew that he was busy finishing stuff up for clubs and packing for his trip home but something in you felt like something changed between the two of you.

maybe it was just you being extremely horny over your best friend that you didn't know how you would ever act normally near him after he ate you out. it also didn't help that you guys didn't set an official day for when you'll finally lose your virginity.

every now and then you would get the urge to just tell san to come over and fuck you but whatever sanity you had left in you refused to cave in so weakly like that.

speaking of the devil himself, san's name appeared on your phone.

morning wood: u wanna come over tonight?

morning wood: i just finished packing

hobbit: do u want me to bring something over for dinner?

morning wood: nah i can order pizza when u come over

morning wood: pepperoni good?

hobbit: yeah, i'll be over in thirty i just need to finish my laundry

morning wood: okayyy

morning wood liked a message from you

fuck. is this gonna be the night? like the night? shit. shit. should u shave? wear something sexy under some sweats just in case?

usually, san is super straightforward when it comes to shit like this so there should be no reason for you to be so freaked out. maybe you could be the one to initiate things? he did say he liked to be topped. wait, what if san genuinely wanted to hang out with you? and now you're only looking forward to seeing him because you wanna get dicked down.

your thoughts kept on racing as you sat in front of two outfits on your bed. casual loungewear with the possibility of wearing the ridiculously over-the-top lingerie underneath or something slightly with more effort which consisted of jeans and a cute cardigan.

still panicking over what to wear to your best friend's house you call hyejoo on the edge of having a meltdown.

"hell-"

"hyejoo! i need your help with what to wear san's. you rush completely cutting off your friend.

"well fuck, nice to see you too." hyejoo jokes commenting on your panicked state, "what's the occasion? wait is this the night you finally lose it?"

she knew almost every detail of what was going on between you and san. hyejoo lived for your updates and lately, she's been missing her nightly video chats of you screaming every little thing that had happened between you and san after the night at mingi's.

"that's the thing, i don't know what the occasion is. he just texted me to come over cause he's been hella busy lately tryna pack and shit."

"ahh that explains why you haven't called me in like four days."

"yes it does, but please help me. i don't know if i should like sort of dress up fancier? or like be sneaky and wear something bold underneath."

"well, you usually just wear sweats or whatever right?" you hum in agreement, "well then just wear sweats then wear the lingerie i got you."

"but what if i wear and be uncomfortable the whole time and we don’t even have sex."

"ok well, then just wear a matching set. preferably something that's not from high school, y/n."

"hey. i threw those away leave me alone." you argue back.

"whatever, anyways just wear a matching set in his favorite color just in case you guys do have sex."

"you are so fucking smart." you praise, as you rifle through your sock and underwear once more. "thank you so much, i'll call you if anything happens."

"ah i'm so excited!" hyejoo exclaims on the other end of the phone, "stay safe and use protection!"

"yes, mom. bye" you roll your eyes at the sudden change in hyejoo's voice.

it was final. you decided on wearing a black matching set since you couldn't find your purple bra in your drawer. black will be fine right? it's still a sexy color? well, either way you thought you looked good as hell in black so you got a confidence boost from that.

soon you arrived at san's, with your heart beating out of your chest. a very rare feeling to have at your best friend's house but hey, what's one more boundary to cross?

tentatively, you knock on his door fiddling with one of the strings on your hoodie.

"hi."

"come in." san greets you wearing a loose pair of sweats and a tank top showing off his buff arms.

well shit, if you weren't wet at the possibility of having sex tonight, you were already wet from just looking at his physique. the way the tight tank top accentuated his tiny waist and broad shoulders had your mind running laps.

"you good?" san asks as he looks over at your spaced-out figure.

"yeah, i'm good. it's just," you rub a hand over face to stall as you think of an excuse, "i'm fine."

san just gives out a light chuckle at your response, "well, the pizza is on the counter if you want some but do you wanna watch anything?"

"ooo yes!" you slightly loosen up as you try to forget how you got caught checking out your best friend, "chainsaw man?"

"yeah sure, i've been wanting to catch up on that."

"perfect!" you clasp your hands together in excitement.

"blanket?"

"yes, please."

you continue to fiddle with the strings of your hoodie dealing with both your horniess and anxiety. when san returned to the couch with one of his (yours actually) favorite blanket, you instinctively scooted closer to san for double warmth.

however, you failed to remember that your lewd thoughts were still in the back of your mind and as san was slowly typing in "chainsaw man" into the search bar, you kept fidgeting trying to find the best way where you relieved some sort of pressure and felt comfortable.

"are you sure you're okay?" san looks down at you. his words felt like he was pushing you to admit to something you didn't want to say out loud.

"i-uh,um." you couldn't even think straight with san staring down at you like that. "i think i'm ready."

san just stares at you in confusion, "i love the confidence but for what?"

you hopelessly look at him, praying he understands what you mean. "you know..." the blush on your face gets stronger every minute you say something dumb.

san understood what you meant. actually, he had a feeling that you wanted to the minute you started checking him out. still though, he played dumb wanted to hear you say it out loud.

"i don't know, actually."

"san!" you whine at him.

still, your pleas had no effect on you as he stared at you with a blank face.

"i'mreadytohavesexwithyou." you blurt out really fast not even daring to open your eyes. you hear san laugh and the feeling of wanting to crawl up in a hole and die grew exponentially. immediately you hide underneath the blanket hoping san would disappear if you wished hard enough.

"y/n," san pulls the covers down to enough to reveal your eyes. "it's okay." you refused to remove the blanket completely but still pulled it down just enough that your whole face was exposed. "if you want to have sex now you just have to tell me. i'm perfectly fine with waiting too, it's all up to you."

"can you please just fuck me." you pout. "now, please."

a soft smile appears on san's face as he scoops you up into his arms. "you're so cute."

"wait, where am i going?" you ask as you tilt your head to see where san's taking you.

"i am not taking your virginity on a craig's list couch."

"fair enough."

gently, san lays you on his bed before crawling towards you. once your head is on one of his pillows, san's hands trail to the hem of your shirt. "can i kiss you?"

the way those words left his mouth felt so soft and pure. you were so glad you ditched the idea of losing your v-card to a random tinder date. you trusted san enough to take good care of you and he did.

"yes, please." you answer, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him in.

the kiss started off slow, as san took his time with you. his lips molded perfectly with yours. your arms tug on his neck to bring him even closer as san spreads your legs with his knee. the top of his knee came into contact with your aching core causing you to moan in the kiss.

san pulls away with swollen lips, his hands trail to the hem of your shirt tugging it on softly, "can i?"

acknowledging him, san gets to work as he gets rid of your shirt leaving you in your bra. flustered, your hands reach for san's shirt as you tug on it.

"to be even," you explain.

"of course." san smiles following your command and smoothly takes his tank top off throwing it to somewhere in the room.

it wasn't new seeing san shirtless but you swear he changed his workout routine or something because he looks (and feels) ten times more ripped than the last time you saw him shirtless.

a gasp leaves your mouth and your hands fly to his chest as they rake down to his stomach.

"what?" he asks as he leans closer into you, putting both of his hands beside your head, caging you in.

"did you get a new workout routine?" you attempt to ask calmly.

"yeah actually, yeosang and i started going to a trainer a couple months ago."

"i can tell," you compliment, hands once again running up and down his abs.

in one swift motion, san captures both of your arms and holds them in place with one hand above your head.

"hey-"

"enough talking." san cuts you off with a sudden kiss, his free hand trailing your curves. desperately, you tried to lift your arms so you could wrap them around san but his grip was too strong. your body fidgeted trying to get him to loosen the grip but with how close san knee was to your core, it began to rub deliciously against your sweats. soon, you fell into a somewhat steady rhythm trying to create some friction for yourself.

when san pulls away, your motions come to a halt like you were caught red-handed. "baby couldn't wait, huh?"

embarrassed, you turn your head with a blush evident on your cheeks.

"hey, i'm just teasing you." san comforts as he grabs your chin with his fingers, forcing you to look up at him. he felt his heart crumble (and his pants strain) when you looked up at him with a pout. "i'll make it up to you, yeah?"

"you better, you jackass." you joke as you slap his arm.

san gets back to work with your lips as his hands trail all over your body. his roamed every curve and dip of your body. the callouses on his hands left goosebumps everywhere. eventually, san stopped at the top of the waistband. "may i?"

pathetically, you whimper out a quick "yes" as san gets to work with getting rid of your sweats and panties. one of his fingers runs up and down your slit to collect your slick.

"gonna prep you first, okay?"

nodding in confirmation, san slips his finger in as you gasp. your walls clench around his finger as he pumps in and out. your breath quickens even more before san adds in another one drawing a moan from you.

once san deems you prepped enough for his dick, he pulls his fingers out causing you to whine. "i'll be back, just gotta find a condom baby." he soothes as he opens his bed stand drawer his clean fishing around for one.

finally, san finds that gold foil package, ripping it with his teeth and you swear you could've come at that sight alone. you help san get rid of his pants and boxers.

sitting up in anticipation, you watch as san pumps his cock in front of you. the realization of you getting dicked down finally settling causing nerves to bounce around in you again. his dick wasn't some scary monster cock that you've seen in porn videos but it was still fairly long and the more you thought about it the more you questioned how the fuck it was supposed to fit inside of you.

san pulls you out of your thoughts when he lets out a groan. your eyes snap back down to his dick as you watch his tip start to leak beads of precum from his angry, red tip. san slows down his hand as his other hand begins to reach for the condom.

"wait."

san snaps his head to you with the condom still dangling from his teeth, his eyes full of concern.

"can i do that?" you ask the sudden burst of confidence spurring your adrenaline.

immediately, san nods his head as he sticks out his chin for you to grab the condom from his mouth. you sucked in a breath as you slipped the condom onto san as he praised you for your job well done but you cut him as you give him an experimental pump of his cock.

"fuck." san says through gritted teeth.

with his reaction, you pump him a few more times watching as his face contorted in pleasure. you didn't want to be the only one being satisfied tonight.

"baby," san grunts as he grabs your wrist, scaring you slightly as you thought you did something wrong, "we don't want me cumming just yet."

"right..." you trail off awkwardly as you retract your hand away.

san lightly laughs at your awkwardness finding it adorable, "it's alright, just let me make you feel good now."

he plants a quick kiss on your lips as he softly presses you onto your back. "tell me if anything hurts alright love?"

you give him another quick nod as you watch san shift on his knees. with a hand, he rubs the head of his cock up and down your slit just to tease you earning him a moan from you.

once san lines up with your entrance, he slowly fills you up and before any pain or discomfort could even manifest in your mind, san smashes his lips into yours. with the way, san's tongue was dancing with yours the pain in your lower abdomen was almost nonexistent.

by the time he pulls away, san's cock was fully buried into your cunt. your walls rubbed deliciously against san, "fuckkk, you feel so fucking good." san groaned. "tell me when you're ready for me to move, love."

this new pet name combined with san going down to kiss your neck has your head spinning. "oh fuck, san."

the sensation of san's lips leaving wet kisses on your neck was incredible. to add even more to your pleasure, you felt him begin to nibble lightly on your neck causing you to moan even louder. you could even feel san's smirk of accomplishment on your neck before he continued his new pattern of nibbling on different spots on your neck and soothing the pain with a few swipes of his tongue.

it took you a moment to even tell san that you were ready for him to move since you were so overwhelmed with his little side quest that you couldn't even manage to get a word out.

with your confirmation, san pulls his mouth away from you to focus on your cunt. at first, he does a few experimental thrusts just to test the waters before settling into a comfortable rhythm.

"you're taking me so well, baby" san praises when he flashes his eyes up at you. the dazed look in your eyes caused a surge of confidence to course through his body.

san's ego grew when he realized that he was the first one to ever make you feel this fucked out. he showed his newfound confidence by fucking you even harder. the grip on your hips tightening as san tries to get the most leverage he can to chase his high.

"fuck, san." you cry out, the knot in your stomach growing. "m' so close baby."

san tensed at the nickname for a quick second. he had been calling you "baby" ever since he started helping you out but holy shit he did not expect you calling him that to have such an effect on him. "say it again." san demands his eyes flashing to yours.

"baby, fuck." you groan as san's pace increases even more sending you to close the edge. "shit, i'm so close"

his thrusts got sloppier as your moans became louder. the knot in your stomach began to unravel with each push. san swallowed your moans as he leaned down to kiss you. it was a messy kiss but yet it oddly felt intimate. there was just something in his urgency to kiss you that felt so comforting.

the mix of his lips combined with the last few thrusts of hips, the both of you finally came. pulling away from your lips, san presses his forehead to yours to catch his breath with his cock still buried deep inside you.

for a moment, you guys stay like that. in such an intimate position, you closed your eyes and believed that he was yours and not just your best friend. you wished you could stay in this moment forever and keep believing this isn't a one-time thing.

you were pulled out of your daydreaming as san finally pulled out causing you to whine, already missing the feeling of him. through tired eyes, you watch san tie up the condom to discard after he throws on a pair of boxers.

"where are you going?" you ask still out of breath. apart of you worried that he was going to get up and leave already. you didn't want your little daydream to end just yet.

"i'll be right back." san answers slipping out of the door and disappearing somewhere into your house.

soon, san returned with a glass of water and a wet rag. carefully, san gets to work as he cleans you up after handing you the glass to drink. when he's done, you give the half-empty glass back to him and encourage him to drink it. he gladly does before getting up once more to put away the cup.

immediately, you tug at his arm and pull him down into bed with you. "don't go."

san smiles at you softly before returning back into the covers. your arms link around his torso in an instant bringing him closer to you. "don't ever leave me."

"i won't, i promise. you mean too much to me"

"i do?" you mumble, fatigue finally catching up to you as your eyelids began to droop.

"mmh." san mumbles as he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead. "go to bed, we can talk tomorrow."

too tired to even respond, you close your eyes and wrap your arms tighter around him.

the sun peeked through the blinds promptly disrupting your sleep along with the noises on the street. when you opened your eyes to an empty bed your heart sank. you knew san didn't owe you anything after last night but still you wished you woke up in his arms and not alone.

with a heavy heart, you got up from his bed and got dressed again, picking up the scattered clothes from the floor. memories from the night before flooded your mind and it hurt remembering that it was only temporary.

when you left the room, you didn't expect to see san cooking breakfast.

"you're awake already?" san asks as he looks over his shoulder.

you nod your head, "your blinds don't do shit."

"my apologies sleeping beauty." san jokes back turning his attention back to the stove. "breakfast will be ready in ten."

by the looks of it, san appeared normal like last night's events had no effect on him whatsoever. truthfully, they were the opposite. san was internally freaking out. from the many hook up and one night stands san has been on, not one of them has he longed for the girl afterward. he didn't know how to react to his feelings but the one thing he did know was that he wanted you.

san was just scared to ask you to be his. there was a multitude of reasons of why but one of them was that he was scared of the commitment. in general, he just couldn't get himself to open up to just one person and be vulnerable but with you, he wanted to try.

he felt safe in your presence and although it took him so long to realize it, he's always felt comfortable around you. "breakfast's ready!" sans call out to you.

the two of you eat in awkward silence. part of you was convinced that you were making it awkward because someone couldn't keep their feelings out of it and san thought he was making things weird because he had no clue how to handle his emotions.

eventually, you couldn't stand the sound of the utensils clanking on the plates and bowls, and either could san. "san,"

"yes?" he looks up at you, thankful for breaking the tension.

this is the moment. just do it. "i don't think we can be friends anymore."

"wait what?"

"i know, i made you promise that whatever we did wouldn't affect our friendship but i-i love you."

san stares at you in confusion, "i love you, too but i don't see why we can't be friends anymore? was the sex that bad? you can be honest."

"god no, it was great. but the issue is that you don't love me the way i love you." you confess daring to look san in the eyes. "i knew this was terrible idea from the start but i just- i wanted to have you for one night even if it was temporary."

san soaks in your words, not saying anything for a moment which leads to worry even more.

"i'm sorry," you start, looking down at your hands as you try to contain yourself.

"you don't need to apologize." san says grabbing your hand from across the table. "i wanna be yours too."

"wait, what? i thought you didn't like relationships though?"

"i don't but recently i've realized i wanna be more than friends. don't think it's because of the sex, if anything that just gave me another reason to love you." san jokes, easing the tension in the room.

"san, be serious." you scold at him while a smile slips through your facade.

"no seriously though, i mean it when i say i wanna be yours."

"you wanna be mine?"

"yes i do. i know i'm not good at communicating feelings and stuff like that but i'm willing to try with you."

the biggest smile graces your face as look down at the table while san comes over to your side. maybe you didn't have to worry at all about this because in the end he wanted you all along.

"we can take it slow, as long you're mine." you look lovingly into his eyes and you felt your heart beat out of your chest. for good reason, this time though.

"sounds great to me."

a laugh escapes as you lean your head onto's san shoulder. his arm immediately wraps around you bringing you in as san places a quick kiss on your head. "so what did you think about breakfast?"

"being honest," you look up at san with a playful smile on your face, "they were kinda runny."

"that's it, we're done." san jokes, throwing his arms into the air for dramatic effect.

laughing at his antics, you just realize how much you love san and although it may be too early to say it yet, let's just say you're grateful you had a choi san in your life.

he finally was yours.

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