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the-cosmic-teapot · 30 days

Text

Eternity and So Much More

Bokuto x reader

WC: 2392

TW: Self doubt, insecurity, marriage talk, long term commitment, reader needs a hug and kiss, bokuto is amazing and really affirming, I tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible (engagement ring description, but not story crucial-like a sentence max) , open ended

*proof read by my man in arts husband, its his fault for typos :)

Summary: Bokuto had a very important question to ask you, but you don't see yourself in the best light.

A/N: Hi pals, this is my first time publishing anything outside of a really cringy period on Wattpad when I was 13 (no longer available for my own sanity). I am not typically a writer, so I apologize in advance, but I love Bokuto so much yeah. I hope you like this! Feedback is always welcome!

~Cosmic

Being in a relationship with a pro athlete is difficult because more times than not, they prioritize their careers. It’s what they have been working towards for the longest time and they will do almost anything to stay on the court. This is especially true with one, Bokuto Koutaro. You could ask anyone about the large, owlish man and his devotion to volleyball; they would all say the same thing: he is meant to be on the court. Knowing this did not stop you from being in a relationship with him. If anything there was a sense of pride because of his passion for the sport. There were countless missed dinners and events because of extra practice, but this did little to dissuade you from falling for the outside hitter. With all of the missed dates there were thoughtful gifts or a lavish trip with him for time together to make up his absences.

You knew it was coming, Bokuto's proposal, because he is not the most subtle person and he is not great at hiding things. It had been about a week prior when you found the ring in his sock drawer when doing his laundry. It was a beautiful, yet simple princess cut diamond ring with a few accent stones around it, and here you are, at dinner with Bokuto and some friends, both old and new. Most of the night was filled with laughter and smiles, as is most of the time with Bokuto, except this time there was a pit in your stomach you couldn’t explain. Was it something you ate? Maybe it was social anxiety from being around all of Bokuto's high school friends, who you’ve seen on a few occasions. You only really knew Akaashi because of how close he was with Bokuto. Yet, in spite of this feeling you pushed through dinner with a smile.

As the appetizers and entrees came and went Bokuto insisted on getting dessert for everyone. The pair of you settled on a chocolate cake with ice cream. While the desserts were being prepared Bokuto gathered the attention of everyone and began speaking of the love he has for you, and your beauty. As he continued his speech, the pit grew deeper and deeper. His little speech concluded in tandem with the arrival of dessert, where you saw the same ring that was hidden among his socks sitting on the top of the cake slice. Then you look at Bokuto already on one knee as he asks the question, “Will you marry me?”

At this moment you didn’t have any words. Why weren’t you saying anything? Could you say anything at all?

The first day of your third year at university felt the same as the others. You noted that campus was a bit livelier than normal, but this would surely die down after a couple of weeks as people lost motivation to go to class. As you walked into your first lecture hall you chose your seat with care as you would be using it for the rest of the semester. After all, humans are creatures of habit.

When you stepped outside of the lecture hall at the end of class, you could swear you felt like a mummy leaving its crypt and stepping into the sun for the first time. Apparently you stood in place a second too long because a large man was not paying attention at the stop in traffic and bumped into your back causing you to trip and fall. As you stood back up and turned to face the cause of your fall he immediately began apologizing and saying he will buy you coffee or a pastry as his way of apologizing. Initially stunned by the sudden change in your position to seeing a large man practically on his hands and knees begging for your forgiveness for a small nudge was, admittedly, quite a scene to behold. You insisted that you were okay and there were no bruises or scratches, but he looked like a kicked puppy saying something about how he has harmed you and his mother and sisters will certainly skin him alive for not making it up to you. So you agreed to his offer of coffee, seeing as you do not have class for another hour and a half. On the walk over to the cafe you learn his name, Bokuto, and he is a starter for the men's volleyball team.

Everyone was staring at you now, waiting for an answer. You see the glints of love and true passion in Bukotos eyes; the same look he has when he plays volleyball. Why couldn’t you say anything? What was wrong with you? Here there is a man who loves you, and all you can do is just stand there. Thoughts of inadequacy swarm your mind; you’ll never be pretty enough, you’ll never be charismatic enough, you’ll never be enough for him.

After getting coffee with Bokuto, he seemed to be part of your life. Initially it was small things like him asking you to study with him because he “gets distracted, and it is nice to have someone to keep him on track”. This typically ended with getting nothing done because of how easy conversations flowed with him. Eventually this turned into movie nights with his friends. By the end of that semester the two of you were practically inseparable.

Sometime during the break you realized how you had grown to care for this large puppy of a man. Your days away from campus, as well as Bokuto, seemed more dreary, like something was missing. The days away made you truly notice an absence you didn’t know you could miss. Despite this, you still managed to have a relaxing break.

Bokuto was also stuck with his thoughts of you and what you were doing. He misses your smile and laugh, he misses how you would roll your eyes at some dumb joke he had made, but most of all, he misses how you care about him. Through high school he was used to girls flocking to him because of his volleyball talent, but none of them seemed to care about who he was as a person. You care about him as Bokuto Kotaro, not Bokuto Kotaro the volleyball powerhouse. You care about the little things, ensuring he stayed hydrated and made sure he always had someone cheering him on. He loved those things about you.

By the time you got back to campus and got fully moved into your new dormroom, Bokuto called and asked to get lunch because he was, as always, starving. By the end of the lunch you were sure Bokuto enjoyed your presence because of how he mentioned it at least five times when walking you home. As you get to your complex's door you debate inviting Bokuto in to watch a movie or something, but a small voice crept in saying that he probably had other, better things to be doing. So you bid him a farewell and went up alone.

As Bokuto stares at you with anticipation and nothing but adoration in his eyes staring into your own, you are at war with your insecurities. How could he want you in that way? It wasn't because you were the prettiest or because you were the most popular. It definitely wasn’t because you were the best at anything; what was it? You know he loves you, but honestly you don’t fully understand why.

After about a minute of staring at you Bokuto began to feel a pit form in his stomach, a rare feeling for him that he wasn’t too familiar with. The last time this happened was when he asked you to go on a date with him; an actual date too, not the platonic hangout sessions from when you were first getting to know each other. Was it taking you so long to answer because you thought he wouldn't be a good husband? Was it because he can be forgetful and so focused on volleyball? Those couldn't be it, you always said that it was something you loved about him, his dedication and drive. Why weren’t you saying anything? What was holding you back?

It had been one year since you met Bokuto, the start of your last year of university. Thursdays became takeout and movie night with him, just him; no one else because “I want to spend time alone with my best friend”. You thought it was sweet that he wanted to take time with just you, but it hurt when you assumed he didn’t see you romantically. You’d be stupid not to have a crush on him, he is so charismatic and funny, not to mention he looks like he was shaped by the gods, in contrast to his puppy like demeanor that would make a statue smile.

On one such Thursday Bokuto was antsy, more than normal. About a third of the way into your movie pick, you had to pause the movie. His fidgeting was getting on your nerves and you could no longer bear to ignore it. In response to you pausing, Bokuto just stared dumbly at you instead of saying anything. This was odd, there was seldom a time Bokuto was without words.

“What’s your problem tonight?’ you asked, a little agitated. “We can change the movie if you’re not into it.”

“I just...” He paused for a bit and continued, “ I um, I think I’d like to take you out.” You stared back just as dumbly at him for a bit. “ I don’t mean, like, kill you. I mean like a date… If you want…” You sat on his couch in one of his hoodies with Thai take-out in your lap while he thought this is something he wouldn’t mind seeing all the time. He impatiently awaited your answer, fidgeting with his hands.

After what felt like an eon (a few minutes in actuality) you responded, “Really? Me?” It was strange to be asked out by someone who was like Bokuto. You weren't the typical drop dead gorgeous type athletes like him usually went after, at least in your own eyes.

“Well, yeah… that’s why I asked you.” He stated very matter-of-factly. “Why wouldn't I want to date you? You know me, and still want to be my friend after I embarrassed myself at that party. You also still want to study with me even when I don’t know what’s happening, and you dont mind helping me with my classwork even though you’re taking more classes than me.”

He went on like this for 5 minutes before you finally snapped out of your haze to interrupt him and respond. “I didn’t know you cared that much about me...” You sat on your words before landing on “Okay”.

You thought you had broken the owlish man when that four letter word left your mouth. He just sat and stared at you before breaking out into the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him, this is including when he scored the winning point for nationals last spring. In an instant he was off of the couch, as were you, bouncing around the room shaking you along too.

Feeling the stares of your friends and his, you felt nauseous. You loved Bokuto, but could you accept this? What happens if it falls apart, could you live through that? What if a few years later he finds someone better than you, how could you live with that? You just stood there. Your legs felt as if they weighed a million pounds and your jaw a billion more.

Bokuto was freaking out because he was sure you’d say yes immediately. You’d talked about your futures after graduation and you said something along the lines of wanting him in your life forever. Did he misinterpret that? He got your dream ring from one of your friends who was kind enough to help him. What did he do to screw this up?

“I-I…” you took a breath, “I don’t know” you finished close to tears. After giving an answer you needed to get out, looking at Bokuto was painful because he was heartbroken and confused. You gathered your things and ran out of the restaurant.

Bokuto followed closely after you without grabbing anything. He ran a hand through his hair as he stepped out onto the sidewalk spotting you instantly.

He tentatively approached you as if you were a scared stray cat. “Hey… are you okay? What happened back there?” Bokuto was close to tears too, his usually bright eyes were so serious now. “Are you not ready for this? I thought that conversation after graduation meant you wanted this… I’m really sorry if I got that wrong.” He wouldn’t stop talking. You felt like actual garbage, here he was apologizing to you for what were your own inadequacies.

“I’m not-” you take a breath, “I’m not good enough for this, or for you. You are a pro athlete, you’re way out of my league, and I’m just someone who fell in love with you. I am not special in any way, I’m not extraordinary, I’m just me.” You pause for a second before continuing, “You deserve so much better than me, you are amazing and deserve the universe, and I’m not that.”

“I don’t see it that way.” Bokuto said simply. “You’re amazing because you are you. I love the way you get focused and bite your lip when you do. I love the way you care for me and make sure I am taking care of myself. How you make the effort to know my friends and family.” He continued while holding your wrist as if to make sure you don’t vanish into nothing. “Most importantly, I love you because of how you love me.” He concluded with a huff, Bokuto was frustrated that he needed to tell you all of this, but if he had to repeat these affirmations to you over and over like a mantra he would without hesitation.

“Are you sure?” You question, biting your lip and avoiding Bokuto's eyes that always seem to find yours. “Yes, of course, I wouldn’t say anything I didn’t mean” He answers immediately after. “I want you in my life for eternity and so much more.”

#bokuto fluff #bokuto kotarou #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu time skip #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #timeskip!Bokuto #Fluff #Bokuto Koutaro Fluff #Haikyuu timeskip #Bokuto Kotarou fluff

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jen-with-a-pen · 2 months

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ALL TIED UP - FOUR

Previous ⊹ Series

summary: A look into the House of Sigma Beta Theta (ΣBΘ). Annoyed with the vague hinting at the party on Friday, Steve confronts Clint and stands up for once– and it only slightly backfires.

pairings: Art Student!Frat Brother!Steve Rogers x Film Student!Sorority Sister!Reader

word count: 1386

warnings: cursing, food mention, meeting the rest of the brothers, dudebro Clint, fuckboy Tony, singling out/exclusion, power dynamics, Steve's just trying to make it through the day man

a/n: we get to meet the rest of the fraternity! so sorry it's been a while. the holidays, seasonal depression, and work happened and i didn't really have the motivation to write for steve again until recently. hope yall like it ❤ p.s. thank you all SO SO much again on the continuing love for filthy impetuous souls. it means the world ❤

This chapter was not beta'd by anyone else. All mistakes in this chapter are my own.

gif by @paliaphrodite | additional graphics + dividers by me ♥

my ao3 | my masterlist | all tied up masterlist Read this fic HERE on ao3! ♥ Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated as always♥

Last Wednesday.

Dribbles of cereal milk splash onto the kitchen table as Steve switches between eating breakfast, drafting a perfect-but-also-not-too-perfect text to his barista, and reading the newspaper. The newspaper thing makes him feel like an old fucking geezer, but it reminds him of mornings with his Ma back home. He misses her.

He makes a mental note to call her this weekend.

Munching on another spoonful, he nearly chokes at the sound of slow, calculated footsteps descending the stairs. Normally he’s the only one home on Wednesday mornings. Normally he can sit in comfortable silence in the kitchen without needing to sneak around the fucking house. However, this specific Wednesday morning was not normal– all the guys were hungover from the party the night before. Upon realization, Steve reluctantly swallows the half-chewed gob of Cheerios. It lands in his stomach like a rock as he frantically looks about the scene on the table; he can’t decide fast enough whether to hide the newspaper, or his phone– or himself– before whomever is around the corner sees him outside his bedroom, outside his element.

Tony Stark is the first to stride into the kitchen. Jet-black hair slicked back with yesterday's pomade complimented by a face riddled with stubble. He’s a mismatched mess of a worn Yankees jersey, khakis, and the newest Nikes, all of which are covered by the stench of luxury cologne and seven types of vodka. Even with designer sunglasses on, he winces at the fluorescent kitchen lights while dragging his feet straight to the coffee pot.

"’Sup, Rogers."

As far as they are into the semester, it’s the first time Tony directly acknowledges Steve in a way that isn't sarcastic or followed by a snooty comment under his breath. Steve quietly tips his chin to Tony out of politeness. From his perch at the kitchen table, he watches Tony pour a mug of coffee before slyly taking a mini Fireball out of his shirt pocket, dumping it into the hot liquid. He stirs his concoction with a finger, tasting it with a faint grimace before sipping.

To each their own, Steve thinks.

"Are you really reading the fuckin' newspaper, old timer?" Tony remarks behind his mug. Last night’s party and lack of proper hydration makes his voice raspy, deeper than usual. Steve shrugs, nodding with a faint 'yeah' in response. Steve sips his protein shake.

Tony sniffs a laugh. "Soon enough, you'll be on it."

Another slurp.

"What?" Steve chokes, a chunk of unmixed protein powder lodging itself in his esophagus.

"Hm. Nothin'."

“No, what did you–”

"Whoa! Sure is a party in here," Clint Barton jokes upon entering the kitchen, following in Tony's footsteps to the coffee maker. Compared to Tony, Clint takes his hangovers in full stride. It figures, too; the guy is a kinesiology-finance major with a nutritionist-business major of a girlfriend. Eyes full of light and mischief, hair already stylishly spiked even though he just rolled out of bed, he’s already in his usual workout shirt and sweatpants. Clint whistles to himself, taking a large tub of protein powder off the top of the fridge before fixing a shaker of protein coffee. Tony steps out of the way to the other side of the kitchen to lean against the stove, watching, lurking.

"Not until you got here, Clint," Steve attempts. Clint doesn't turn around until he's shaking his protein shaker. Loudly.

"You say sumn'?" He asks, smirking when Steve begins to shake his head and go back to his phone.

"Steven, I kid, I kid.”

Steve gives a tight-lipped smile, looking down at his soggy Cheerios. The knot in his chest tightens. The milk smells sour.

“Hey, Steve.”

Steve looks up, locking eyes with Clint. He swallows, hands gripping the newspaper and crumpling the comics section– his favorite.

“You have fun last night?” Clint asks, dropping more powdered supplements into his shaker.

“Y-Yeah, it was fun.”

“You see any cute honeys you like?” Clint waggles his brow.

Steve’s face burns. His eyes dart to Tony, who’s hiding a knowing smirk behind his coffee mug.

“I think, yeah,” he shrugs.

Clint laughs, lips morphing into a knowing, dark grin. “Well if you think they were cute last night, just wait ‘til Friday. You’ll believe it, then.”

Another vague nod to Friday. Steve’s brow furrows, leaning forward in his chair. “What do you mean by that?”

Clint blinks, surprised at the confrontation, and sets his shaker down on the counter before approaching the kitchen table, hands slamming into the wood. Steve’s cereal sloshes, splashing a bit onto the screen of his phone.

“You wanna ask me that again, Steven?” Clint hisses with a challenging smirk. “Go ahead, y’know I can’t hear real well. I didn’t hear ya the first time.” He leans in with a hand cupped to his ear and a mocking face. “What’s that? Huh?”

“Nothin’,” Steve mumbles.

“Sorry, what?”

“Nothing.” Steve’s knuckles are white.

“Sorry! Come again?” Clint’s smirk grows wider the further he leans in.

Steve stands abruptly, slamming his own palms onto the table. “I said–!”

“You said what?”

Steve and Clint turn to the direction of Bucky’s voice as it drifts into the kitchen before he and Sam do. Hands pocketed, brow raised, ponytail bobbing, Bucky looks sternly between Steve and Clint. Sam mirrors him with the ghost of a smirk on his lips. Steve straightens instantly; Clint follows suit, stretching a hand out to Sam to exchange high fives. Steve’s eye twitches.

“Hm?” Bucky questions, stopping in the middle of the kitchen. He looks from Tony– who just nurses his coffee, checking stocks on his phone– to Clint– who lifts his hands in defense, acting confused– and finally to Steve– who sets his jaw, trying his best to level his breathing and frustration.

Steve swallows, gritting his teeth. “I didn’t say anything.” He tries to keep his tone level, convincing. Bucky nods, gaze shifting to Clint.

“Nothin’, boss, y’know me.” Clint’s lips twitch along with his brow.

Bucky’s eyes dart between them before he turns back to Sam, who leans against the fridge with crossed arms. Steve locks eyes with him for a second longer before he turns to Bucky and shrugs. The moment hangs in the air, silent and tense, like every other time all five of them are alone in the same room. Steve’s always the one that feels the tension, though.

“As you were,” Bucky concludes. The kitchen reverts back to normal as everyone resumes the start to their days. Steve stands idly by, looking down at his milk-coated paper and phone, his breakfast soggy and ruined. He sighs and begins to clean up. Before he leaves the kitchen, Bucky grabs his arm, stopping him in his tracks.

“Forgot to ask. You inviting anyone?”

Steve responds with a confused look.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “To the party, Stevie,” he clarifies, flashing a smile differing from his usual, knowing smirk.

Steve hesitates, looking to Sam then back to Bucky. “Kinda, yeah,” he shrugs. All eyes are on him and the kitchen stills once again. Bucky’s brow rockets up his forehead.

“Yeah? Who?”

Steve’s Adam's apple bobs. “Uh, just–just a friend. From class.”

“But who?” Bucky’s grip on Steve’s arm tightens.

“She’s just a–” Steve immediately bites his tongue. It's too late.

“She? You have a she-friend?” Clint asks incredulously. Even Tony looks at Steve from behind his lowered sunglasses. All eyes are on the blond whose eyes dart around helplessly.

“I–Wh–She’s just a friend from class, that’s it,” Steve defends, heat pooling in his cheeks as he stares pointedly into Bucky’s cool blues. Bucky holds him for a second more before releasing his arm, dusting off Steve’s shoulders, smiling.

“We’ll make sure to give her a real warm welcome, then,” Bucky winks.

Unnerved, Steve quickly makes his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room while mixed conversations from the kitchen chase after him. He doesn’t bother listening. Once he enters his room, he triple checks the locks on the door before slouching into his secondhand office chair. Popping in earbuds, he hits play on the album he fell asleep to the night prior as his fingers fly over his phone’s keyboard, coming to a stop when the adrenaline does.

He reads over the text, chewing his lip, and hits send.

Hey, it’s Steve

who?

Meathead.

oh i know just wanted to hear u say it

Don’t you mean see it?

damn. got me there

nice first attempt at texting btw. solid 8/10, good introduction

8/10??

What can a guy do to earn a 10/10?

hmm

come by the cafe later and try a new drink i made ;)

Deal.

68 notes · View notes

lavendersuh · 1 year

Text

oh my, oh my god 단 너뿐이야

johnny x female reader | college!au, strangers to lovers | 3.9k words

warnings: suggestive content, mentions of alcohol and partying

after a much needed kpop hiatus, i am back and more delusional than ever :D i have so many ideas and wips rn... can't wait to share more with y'all! i would like to dedicate this fic to @sehunniepot bc nikki has been right there next to me in my delusion and been a huge motivation to get back into writing eeee i hope u enjoy!! *title is from "omg" by newjeans!!*

༻ ✧✧✧ ༺

oh my, oh my god, 예상했어 나

i was really hoping that he will come through...

༻ ✧✧✧ ༺

“Just go for it! If it goes horribly, you can blame being drunk and pretend it never happened at all!”

You looked back at your friend, grinning lazily at you from the couch she was perched on. She was a lot more extraverted than you in general, but with alcohol in her system? She was capable of anything.

You? You, you maybe not so much.

With another glance over at the man messing around with the sound system spreading music throughout the house, you saw he was deep in concentration. One hand typed on the laptop keyboard while the other held a red solo cup you assumed held some type of alcohol. His hair was falling in his face as he gazed at the screen, and he wore a shirt tucked into jeans. He looked good in those jeans.

You flushed at the thought of going over to talk to him, but your friends seemed determined to encourage you to go for it. They had been on a long spiel about how you weren’t ever going to date anyone if you only waited around for others to make a move. You could make the first move! You just feared making a fool of yourself in front of someone you would see two days a week for the rest of the semester.

Johnny Suh sat three rows behind you in your Monday-Wednesday English lecture, and he probably had to be the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life.

Okay, that was most likely an exaggeration, but he was a beautiful man. Tall, dark hair, and a good sense of style was the perfect combination for attraction to bloom. You felt giddy just thinking about him.

Too bad you didn’t really know anything about him other than the fact that he sat in the same seat every single week.

He looked different in this atmosphere though. He seemed more relaxed, and since he was messing around with the music system like he knew exactly what he was doing even with a little alcohol in his system, you assumed he belonged to this frat and lived in this house. You had once seen him walk into class with a fraternity symbol across his sweatshirt, but you were never good at remembering what all those Greek symbols meant.

While he looked more relaxed, seeing Johnny in a non-academic setting was also extremely intimidating. You were only a few drinks in, mildly tipsy at best, but the alcohol made you warm, and even the idea of not being sober gave you a little confidence. Maybe you could do this.

You could walk over there and make conversation. Get to know him. You could maybe even ask him out for coffee or lunch before class one day. Like your friend said, if things go south, you could always blame the alcoholic atmosphere of a Saturday night frat party.

“Okay,” you said, as you watched your friends raise their eyebrows at you, “I’ll go do it. Maybe get me a drink just in case it doesn’t go well.”

Your two friends cheered as you turned around to walk through the small crowd to Johnny. Moving around made you realize you were a little more drunk than you had thought while sitting down, but you were determined at this point. The alcohol would hopefully make you a little loose, break you out of your shell a little bit.

Johnny took a drink from his red cup as he surveyed the upcoming queued songs for the next hour. Once you were only a few steps away from him, you slowed down as your nerves kicked into high gear. There was a pang of anxiety that shot through your chest at the thought of actually talking to him. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

You were three seconds from turning around when his gaze found yours. You must have looked like a deer in headlights in the dimly illuminated air of the frat house, but getting noticed gave you a little spike of determination.

“Hey,” you spoke up as you stepped a little closer, “Johnny, right?” Not the best start, but at least it was something.

“Yeah…” he replied, giving you a slightly suspicious look. It made you realize he probably had no clue who the fuck you were. There were over a hundred people in your class, and it was actually extremely likely that he had never noticed you before.

The alcohol running warm in your veins kept you going though. “I’m Y/N. We’re in the same English class.”

You offered up a small smile, hoping you don’t seem weird as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear nervously. His eyes changed a little and you could tell that he at least recognized the academic correlation.

“Oh, hi.”

It was clear that he was still sort of lost on why you were talking to him. You knew you needed to play it off to lessen the damage and actually attempt to make a conversation out of this interaction. He was just so nice-looking, it made you sort of just want to stare at him in admiration for the rest of the night.

“Um, sorry I came up to you, I don’t normally do this,” you explained to him, “I’ve just seen you around, and I’m a few drinks in, and my friends told me to stop waiting for shitty dudes to approach me— I should go up to them; it's a whole thing.”

You knew you had a tendency to ramble sometimes, but at least you were talking— at least something was happening. You reminded yourself that talking about something, anything, was better than just being silent.

The only issue was, rambling was not the best way to communicate.

“Are you calling me a shitty dude?” he asked, giving you a raised brow.

The panic settled in, and you knew your eyes grew wide from how he was looking at you right now. It only lasted a moment before his face broke out into a lighthearted grin.

“I’m just joking around,” he stated, tucking his hands into his jeans, “So what’s this ‘whole thing’ about the shitty guys anyways?”

You were flooded with relief that he was only kidding around, and also that you might actually have a chance at a conversation, no matter how strange it was.

“Oh, well I haven’t really dated anyone for that long, and it's because I always date the dudes that approach me, and I’m never attracted to any of them. So it never goes anywhere,” you explained in what was most likely too much detail. “My one friend saw this TikTok that was like, you need to go up to people you like if you want to be with someone you’re actually attracted to.”

“So… you’re attracted to me?” Johnny replied.

You felt yourself tense at his words, finding yourself flustered under his gaze that had suddenly become a bit more intense than you had remembered it being a few minutes ago. You felt like you could melt under his stare, and you knew your mouth was probably open in bewilderment. You coughed lightly to clear your throat, moving your gaze to somewhere on the wall behind him to avoid his eyes for a moment.

“Uhh, yeah, I, uh, have a classroom crush on you,” you stated, trying to keep your voice steady. Maybe if you faked your way to confidence, he wouldn’t notice the way you felt like your heart might explode from your chest with how wildly it was beating.

Johnny leaned back against the wall you both had been standing near, letting a lazy smile come over his face. “And what’s a classroom crush?”

You rolled your eyes, knowing he was enjoying himself but humoring him anyways, “You know. When you think someone’s cute in your class but you don’t really know anything about them because all you see is them in class.”

At the mention of class, you recalled the fact that after this encounter you would have to walk into class on Monday and see this man in front of you. The idea filled you with embarrassment. You had been slowly digging your own grave, and you were suddenly letting your eyes wander, thinking of a way to just get out of this without embarrassing yourself more.

Johnny made a noise of understanding, drawing your attention back to him, “Oh yeah, I get that.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he grinned at you, “I actually have a classroom crush, too.”

“Oh?”

Oh.

“Mhm,” he nodded as he rubbed his hand over his chin for a brief moment, “There’s this girl in my Monday-Wednesday lecture. She sits a few rows in front of me, but she occasionally turns around a little bit and sometimes I catch her staring at me. She’s so cute when she looks away all embarrassed about it.”

Your eyes went wide as you realized, fuck, oh fuck, that’s you, fuck, he noticed you.

“Oh yeah?” you gulped out. You looked down at his drink, “Can I have some of that?”

He offered the cup to you, letting out a mention that it was strong, but you took a big drink anyways, relishing in the way the alcohol burned going down. You looked back up to see him with a small, little smile on his face directed at you, as he watched you with an amused gleam in his eye.

You swore his smile could melt your insides entirely. “So,” he began, “What happens with a classroom crush, typically?”

The liquid courage from the alcohol had your mouth talking before your brain could really keep up with it.

“I usually just daydream and make up scenarios in my head during class to waste time, and then it kinda fizzles out after a while, usually when the semester is over.”

How were you acting so calm when you felt like you should be freaking the fuck out on the inside. Have you really been saying all of these things out loud? Your words came to an abrupt halt as you stared up at the man just a bit away from you.

“Have you ever thought about asking the person out?” Johnny asked, his words coming out with a little teasing in his tone.

You smiled weakly at him, “I guess that’s what I was trying to do with this whole conversation, but I’m just very bad at this.”

Johnny let out a little laugh. “I think you’re doing great. We are talking after all, aren’t we?”

You were grateful that he seemed to not be rejecting you, but you were curious as to what was going on in his head.

“I’m being so dumb right now,” you laughed it off, “I can at least partially blame the alcohol, but I’m just new to this. Hopefully it makes your night a little more interesting.”

“Yeah, you are interesting.” he paused for a seemingly dramatic effect, leaning in closer to you, “I like it.”

He smiled as he glanced from you to the laptop next to him. You had forgotten about the laptop, and the music, and even the party and people around you. You felt lost in the conversation that was happening between the two of you.

He crouched on the floor to look better at the laptop that was set up on the low table, and he motioned for you to join him. All that was on the screen was the music queue, but you leaned in a little too close to get a better look at the words on the screen.

Getting so close to the screen also meant being nearer to Johnny, and when you looked over at him, your faces were closer than you had thought they were. Being so close, you could smell his cologne. The new scent registered in your brain, and it made you realize just how much you had learned about Johnny in the past few minutes.

You had clearly been the one talking more, but you were kind of proud of yourself for even getting this far. You had never really talked to one of your classroom crushes outside of class, not even for group presentations, and being in Johnny’s presence just made you like him even more.

“Do you wanna keep making my night interesting?” he asked, drawing you out of your thoughts.

“Oh!” His words bring out your flustered state again, and you jump back and stand up from where you both had been crouching on the floor. “Um, I’m not really comfy doing anything like that tonight--”

“No!” he interrupted, standing up as well while rubbing the back of his neck, “I didn’t mean it like that…. Just, do you want to keep hanging out? I think the guys set up beer pong outside so you could come watch with me?”

As you saw Johnny sputtering a bit from the mix-up, you felt yourself calm down knowing that he was also capable of being thrown off his rhythm. His words ignited butterflies in your stomach.

“Yeah, sure!”

“Do you, uh, want to go talk to your friends real quick?” he gestured over to your friends across the room, and you looked over to see them trying hard to seem like they weren’t watching the entire encounter, even though they clearly were. You flushed with wide eyes, embarrassed that they were being so obvious.

“Um, yeah,” you tried to laugh it off, “I’ll meet you in the kitchen?”

He gave you a reassuring smile, “Sure.”

You walked over to your friends, who were all grinning at you like idiots and letting out a few victory cheers. Despite your embarrassment, you couldn’t help but feel happy seeing how goofy and supportive your friends were being. They attacked you with an array of questions.

“Tell us everything!”

“Does he seem interested?”

“Did you ask him out?”

“I keep making a fool of myself,” you replied, “But he doesn’t seem put off by it— I think he might think I’m cute.”

“Yes you are!” one of your friends said, “And he’s so hot!!”

She pinched your cheeks and you ducked away, rolling your eyes at their drunken antics. You bid them goodbye and slipped through the party to find the kitchen.

Johnny stood over by the fridge, sipping from a beer can and smiled when his eyes met yours. He offered you a drink, and you accepted a seltzer from the fridge. He gestured toward the back deck, leading you through the back door with his hand on the small of your back. The light touch didn’t go unnoticed, leaving your cheeks warm despite the cold air.

The two of you stood near the railing to watch a few guys play pong. You sipped your seltzer, aware of Johnny’s arm brushing yours as he greeted others hanging around the game.

Johnny was completely at ease here, leaning against the railing with his arm almost around you, his hand brushing your waist. It almost felt like this was a normal occurrence for the both of you. In the back of your mind, you wondered if he did this often. You watched the game and the people around you silently for a while, basking in the world of Johnny and his friends that you somehow got wrapped up in, even just for a moment.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when Johnny slid his arm up to the small of your back. His hand was big and warm even through the fabric of your shirt.

He ducked down closer to your ear, “Hey, you okay?”

His eyes peered into yours, a look of genuine interest crossing his face. You smiled back at him.

“Yeah, I just haven’t been to a party in a while,” you replied, hoping your nerves can be explained away. He didn’t need to know how affected you were by his casual touches.

“Nothing a drink can’t fix,” he said, clinking your cans together with a silly grin on his face. It seemed he knew you were nervous, as he experimented with his touch and kept you close without being overbearing. His casual nature made you even more relaxed.

You went back to watching the increasingly intense game of beer pong, but it was hard to concentrate when you could feel Johnny’s fingers playing with the hem of your shirt. You snuck a look up at him, and while he wasn’t looking down at you, his mouth perked into a smile like he knew you were watching.

The game started to come to a close, with the crowd of people getting bigger and more rowdy. You turned your attention back to the game, watching as one of the guys sank the last cup, leading to an up-roar of cheers on the deck. You couldn’t help but cheer alongside everyone, raising your drink before taking a big sip.

Unfortunately for you, one of the more inebriated partygoers fell backwards into you, causing your drink to spill all over the front of your shirt. The guy didn’t even seem to notice you break his fall, standing up and running back into the crowd, leaving you with a big stain across your chest.

Johnny grasped your forearms, making sure you were upright and okay, his eyes scanning over you to make sure you weren’t hurt.

“Hey, come on, I’ll get you cleaned up,” he says, tucking his arm around your shoulders to guide you through the crowd.

The party is still going strong inside the house, with loud music and dim lights illuminating the swirl of bodies you walk through. Johnny leads you upstairs, which is a lot quieter, despite a few people roaming in and out of rooms. He takes you into the bathroom, gesturing for you to hop on the counter.

He takes a towel from the linen closet, gently dabbing at the stain on your collarbone. His other hand rests on the counter next to you, before resting lightly on your hip to hold you steady.

You don’t think you’ve let out a single breath since he began, watching his face knot into a look of concentration. You wonder if he can hear your heart about to beat out of your chest. Other than the faint pounding of distant music and the buzz of the overhead light, there isn’t a sound to be heard.

His face is so close, you could count his eyelashes if you wanted to. A few strands of hair fall across his eyes and you find yourself wondering what those locks would feel like under your fingers. His hair looks soft.

You get caught up noticing how much he towers over you, distracted by your own thoughts as you gaze at him. You’re brought out of your reverie when his eyes catch yours, a smile appearing across his features. He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, causing goosebumps to flutter up your spine.

Johnny steps back and clears his throat, as if remembering himself. He looks down at his handiwork, his mouth quirking at the still-visible stain.

“I don’t think that stain’s coming out,” he says, “Hang on.”

He exits the bathroom for a moment, leaving you alone. You take a deep breath. This whole situation makes you feel like all the oxygen has been sucked out of your lungs.

He reappears less than two minutes later, holding a slate gray shirt that clearly belongs to himself.

“You can put this on if you want,” he says, holding the material out to you.

You don’t notice the bashful look on his face at the gesture, as you immediately start taking off your shirt to put on the replacement. You do however catch a glimpse at the way Johnny respectfully tries to look anywhere but your torso until you have his shirt on.

You smile sheepishly once the fabric touches your skin. The shirt is way too big, with the sleeves coming down almost to your elbows. It smells faintly of him, and you look up to see him staring at you intently. You watched as his eyes traveled down the length of you before coming back up and settling on your lips.

“Is everything okay?” you ask, breaking through the silence that had settled over the both of you.

Johnny clears his throat, “Oh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck, “You just, uh, look really good in my shirt…”

You can tell that your face is warm, but his confession emboldens you to take a small step toward him, gazing up at his face through your eyelashes. He meets you in the middle, placing his hands gently on your waist as he leans down and brings his lips to meet yours.

You gasp into the kiss, letting every emotion wash over you. His hands are warm as they wrap around you, bringing you close. You rest your hands on his shoulders, letting them wander over the expanse of his chest.

He deepens the kiss, and your hands drift up into his hair. You almost moan at how soft it is. Johnny must know you’re holding back, moving his mouth to kiss down your neck as his hands wander under your shirt to caress your torso. You moan when he starts sucking on the tender skin beneath your ear.

He groans when he hears you let out the sound, lifting you up and setting you on the counter in a rush. He steps between your legs, as your lips meet again, his mouth swallowing your sounds as you try to get closer by wrapping your legs around him.

His hands are close to fondling with your bra under his shirt you’re wearing, and you can feel the bulge in his pants as you let yourself grind against him.

“Johnny…” you mumble between kisses, clinging to him like he’s your lifeline. The mumble of his name spurs him on.

You break apart eventually, breathing heavily as you gaze at his swollen lips. You can’t even imagine what you must look like at the moment.

Johnny slowly removes himself from you and steps back to adjust his jeans with a sheepish look on his face. When he looks back up at you, it’s with a smile.

“We should probably stop here,” he suggests, remembering how you mentioned not wanting to go too far tonight. “At least for now.”

You nod, your heart beating fast at the implication of seeing more of him in the future. He combs his fingers through your hair a bit to help make you more presentable, before reaching for your hand.

The two of you head back downstairs, into the chaos of the party, and you find your friends dancing in the living room. They wave and let out some wolf whistles when they see you walking down the stairs hand-in-hand.

You look back at Johnny, and he grins at your friends’ silly behavior, watching as they call you over.

“It’s cool, I’m gonna go check the music queue,” he says, squeezing your hand one last time before letting go, “I’ll see you in class, yeah?”

You return his smile, “Yeah.”

“And maybe at the next party, too?” he asks with a hopeful tone.

You nod before planting a quick kiss on his lips, leaving him speechless as you turn and slip into the crowd.

When you reach your friends, you glance back to find Johnny back to the corner where you had first approached him. It almost felt like the last hour was a hazy dream, but when he looked up, his eyes found yours immediately, lingering with a small smile on his face.

Not a dream, at all.

༻ ✧✧✧ ༺

#johnny x reader #johnny suh x reader #johnny nct #johnny #nct x reader #johnny x you #johnny suh x you #college au #suggestive #fluff #nct scenarios #nct johnny #johnny suh fanfic #nct fanfic #my writing

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honeyjars-sims · 3 months

Text

2.9 Itinerary

[Cece and Ben are cuddled up on the couch]

Cece: I really need to study, but I’m so comfy right now.

Ben: Yeah, me, too. It’s hard enough getting up the motivation to do anything for school as it is, much less when it means I have to stop snuggling with you.

Cece: Wait, do you have senioritis already? The semester just started!

Ben: I don’t think it’s that. All my classes are so boring. I really thought I wanted to work on the technical side of the music industry, but lately all that’s been on my mind is being onstage.

Cece: This is a hell of a time to come to that realization! I know what you mean, though. I’m glad I’ve gotten to work on my songwriting skills, but now that I’ve been performing more that’s all I want to do. What do you think you’ll do after graduation?

Ben: Well, there’s what I think I’ll do and what I want to do, and those are two different things.

Cece: Now I’m curious.

Ben: What I think I’ll do is stay in Del Sol Valley, try to get in with one of the record companies to do some sound engineering, and do that 5 days a week for the rest of my life. What I want to do is travel the world, perform in different cities, and snuggle with my girl on the tour bus every night.

Cece: Hmm, you’ve been bringing that up a lot.

Ben: A guy can dream, can’t he?

Cece: Well, since you’re soooo sure we’re going to have this fantastic life together, there’s something I should probably tell you.

Ben: Uh oh. Nothing good has ever followed those words.

Cece: It’s not that bad. I think. It’s just…I’m on the asexuality spectrum. And while I do find you attractive, I’m not sure that our sex life is going to be as active as you might expect.

Ben: [laughing] Are you for real?

Cece: Yeah, I am. You don’t have to laugh about it. If you’re not interested in me anymore, just say so–

Ben: No! Cecelia, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t laughing at you, I’m laughing because I’m greysexual and I’ve been too scared to tell you. An active sex life is pretty low on my list of priorities.

Cece: Wow. I feel like I shouldn’t be this happy to hear that the guy I like doesn’t want to have sex with me! How do you feel about kids?

Ben: Oh, now you’re all about the future talk. If I’m being honest, parenthood isn’t really my gig. I’m more of the uncle type.

Cece: Yeah, I don’t want kids, either. The thought of having a baby doesn’t appeal to me at all.

Johnny: What are you two talking about? Nobody in here better be having any babies any time soon.

Cece: Uh, definitely not. Ben and I were just talking about how we don’t want to have kids.

Lexie: Wow, you’re having those kinds of discussions already?

Ben: See, Lexie, when you have such a strong and undeniable connection like Cecelia and I do, your future becomes clear as day. Yes, I can see it now…Cecelia is about to give me an exasperated look and swat me on the arm–Ow!

Cece: I barely touched you! Anyway, we’re just making sure our expectations match up. Don’t you and Johnny talk about stuff like this?

Lexie: We haven’t, no. I’m just saying, there’s no point in rushing things.

Cece: Nobody’s rushing anything, not even this doofus. There’s no harm in making sure you’re on the same page about the big stuff before you get too invested. What if Johnny really wants kids and you don’t? Wouldn’t you rather know that now instead of later?

Lexie: I don’t know, I just turned 19. I don’t even know if I want kids or marriage yet. I just want to pass my test on Thursday and plan something fun for Spring Break.

Johnny: Yeah, I’m not trying to think about any of that stuff yet, either.

Ben: Lexie’s right, the only thing we should be thinking about right now is Spring Break. I have the itch to travel. How does everyone feel about taking a few days to unwind in Granite Falls?

Cece: I’ve always wanted to go! And since we have a few weeks, that gives me plenty of time to plan. I can get started on an itinerary so we can make sure we don’t miss out on anything.

Lexie: I’ve been there a few times with my family. I can help you out with planning! There are some really great hiking trails we should check out, and you just have to see the falls. This is going to be a blast.

Johnny: I’m totally down to get away, but I’m telling you right now, I’m not following any damn itinerary. You said "unwind" and that's what I'm gonna do.

Ben: Awesome! I'm glad everyone's on board. Cecelia and I can bring our guitars and serenade each other by the campfire.

Johnny: On second thought, maybe I'll just stay home.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

#ts4 #the sims #sims 4 #ts4 story #simblr #sims story #ts4 stories #sims storytelling #simlit #stksafeharbor #sh:chapter2 #sh:cecelia #sh:cecilia #sh:ben #sh:johnny #sh:lexie #safeharborstory

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princeescaluswords · 8 months

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The State Championship

One of the key things I like about Teen Wolf is the way its heroic protagonist, Scott McCall, defined heroism through his compassion. This active compassion is not restricted to simply alleviating suffering; it also extends to the awareness of people as individuals with different abilities, needs, and motivations. In other words, Scott cared for people even when they didn't make his life easy or do what he wanted. It is a defining trait for him, even though he still had to learn several important lessons, including recognizing boundaries, acknowledging failure, and coping with the idea that others would use this compassion against him.

I feel that nothing shows this more than his friendship with Stiles Stilinski. Scott doesn't need Stiles to be perfect, to be always right, to be powerful; he simply needs Stiles to be Stiles. For me, one incident in particular shows the depth of Scott's love for Stiles.

When the episode Battlefield (2x11) starts, it's the week of the State Championships, which the Beacon Hills High School has managed to reach even with two separate serial killing sprees going on during the same semester. At the beginning of the series, Scott's dream was to make First Line. That dream is gone.

Scott: Well, thanks, but I'm not - I'm not going either. Can't even think about playing some meaningless game right now. Isaac: You weren't at practice last week, were you?

It seems that Jackson, who Scott knows has not only been turned by Derek into the kanima but is now under the control of Gerard Argent is going to be playing in the State Championship. Scott decides he has to play, because Gerard is up to something. After all, he always has a plan.

The stakes are raised throughout the episode. Derek is elsewhere, beating the shit out of Peter in a useless expression of self-loathing. Scott's been benched by Coach due to Gerard's manipulation. His mother -- directly threatened by Gerard at the beginning of the episode -- comes to the game. Gerard gives a very menacing speech with serious overtones. Scott doesn't know what to do.

And then, as Stiles and Scott sit next to each other on the bench, both nervously waiting for the game to start.

Stiles: You know what's going on? Scott: Not yet. Stiles: It's going to be bad, isn't it? I mean, like people screaming, running for their lives, blood, killing, maiming kind of bad? Scott: Looks like it. Stiles: Scott, the other night seeing my dad get hit over the head by Matt, you know, while I'm just lying there and I can't even move, it just - I want to help, you know, but I can't do the things that you can do. I can't - Scott: It's okay.

And that's that. Scott spends the rest of the episode struggling with Gerard, who threatens to "have Jackson rip someone's head off right in the middle of the field and drench everyone you love and care about in blood." Gerard threatens Scott's mother, Lydia, Stiles and random spectators. While Isaac comes to Scott's assistance, Scott has to leave the game to save Isaac from being killed by Gerard and his hunters.

But throughout the game, there is not one line of dialogue and not one frame of action that indicates Scott resents or even thinks about asking Stiles for help. Stiles has told Scott that he's at his limit, and Scott won't ask Stiles to give more than he can.

So it ends up that while Stiles is happily scoring his first goal, Scott is fighting hunters in the locker room. He's stressed, he's panicking, he's in over his head, but he doesn't put that burden on a friend who has said he can't handle any more. The production actually lampshades it:

Gerard: You want to play chess, Scott? Then you better be willing to sacrifice your own pawns.

But that's the point: Stiles (and Isaac) aren't pieces on a board to Scott. He won't treat them as pawns (the way Derek and Peter treated him), even for the greater good.

In order to stop Gerard and Derek from killing innocent people, Scott has already given up his lacrosse season and he is in the process of losing Allison. His mother is now in danger. Stiles and Isaac are now in danger. And if he isn't fighting killers armed with wolfsbane bullets and broadswords, he's confronted with a werelizard agent of vengeance.

Meanwhile, Stiles is becoming the MVP of the State Championships, getting the acclaim of the crowd and his fellow players, including his father and Lydia Martin. And this never bothers Scott one little bit. He wants Stiles to play, if that's what Stiles wants to do. He doesn't try to demand or guilt Stiles into helping him. He wants Stiles to be happy.

While the episode ends badly for Stiles, that's not Scott's fault. Gerard takes Stiles because Scott doesn't succumb to Gerard's manipulations on the battlefield.

That makes Scott a good friend. That makes Scott a hero.

#scott mccall #stiles stilinski #scott mccall defense squad #teen wolf meta #gerard argent #tw 2x11

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draguta · 1 year

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.fairytale of new york | seven.

pairing: professor!bucky x fem!reader

summary: a semester in new york. a handsome man in a bar. whiskey neat. to the lighthouse. christmas lights. this is the tale of a whirlwind romance. a forbidden fairytale. college au.

chapter word count: 2286

warnings: age gap (reader 19, bucky 34), student/teacher relationship

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Y/N

"So, what would we say is Odysseus' main motivation?" Bucky called out, turning back to his class and looking through the crowd of students until his eyes finally landed on you. "Y/N?"

You glanced up from your laptop at the sound of your name, your eyes catching Bucky's. You thought about the question for a while, taking in Bucky's smirk as he waited for your answer; he had clearly picked you on purpose, testing whether or not you had been paying attention or had been daydreaming about that morning in the shower. It was definitely the latter.

"Well, I think it's clear that Odysseus' chief motivation throughout the novel is his desire for homecoming, a notion in heroic culture that encouraged bravery in war by reminding warriors and soldiers of the people that they are fighting for back home," you explained, your own smirk mirroring his as you answered the question perfectly. But Bucky wasn't finished.

"Would you care to expand on that a little more?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Odysseus' return represents the transition from his life as a warrior on the battlefield, back to his life as a husband, father, and the head of his household," you continued, wanting to prove yourself to Bucky. "That would explain why Odysseus is ultimately motivated by a desire to reclaim these elements of his identity and once again become the person that he was before he left for the war."

You didn't miss Bucky's grin at your answer, one that lasted only a second before his mask as your professor was once again placed over his expression.

"Very good, Y/N," he said, and you beamed down at him from your seat on the third row next to Yelena. "Be sure to include that analysis in your paper this week."

He shot you a quick wink, and you felt the blush rising in your cheeks. You glanced around the room quickly, scanning your peers to make sure no one had seen it, until your eyes landed on Liz, sitting right in the front row. But she wasn't looking at Bucky, or her notes. Instead her eyes were trained on you, glaring at you between the heads of your classmates.

You couldn't hold her gaze, quickly looking away, nerves creeping into your stomach like butterflies. You glanced back at Bucky to check if he had seen it, but he was already addressing the rest of the class, seemingly in professor mode once more.

"Ok guys, that's it for today," he called out, returning to his desk. "Don't forget that your papers are due on Friday, and I want them on my desk before the end of the day."

The class began to gather their things, and you quickly followed in their wake, shoving your laptop and notebook into your bag and throwing it over your shoulder as fast as you could.

"Woah, where's the fire?" Yelena asked, raising a brow as she watched you shoot from your seat and rush towards the stairs.

"There's just something I need to take care of," you explained, before rushing away. You didn't have time to explain it now. You had to catch Liz before she disappeared into the crowd - you could explain everything to Yelena later.

You pushed your way down the stairs, squeezing through the crowd, throwing Bucky a look as you passed by his desk, to which he gave you a reassuring nod. You spotted Liz's head over the others and pushed through the hoard of people until you were finally right behind her, tapping her on the shoulder. She paused, turning round, a look of surprise written on her perfect features.

"Do you think we could grab a coffee?" You asked, flustered. "I need to talk to you."

Neither you nor Liz said a single word as you ordered and collected your drinks from the counter at the coffee shop, although there was an unspoken agreement that you would take your drinks to go, not wanting to have this conversation in somewhere as intimate as a coffee shop, especially when it was right beside campus; anyone could walk in at any time and hear what they were saying.

You walked for around ten minutes before Liz eventually spoke up, just as they were nearing the park nearby the college campus.

"So, I think I know what you wanted to talk to me about," she said quietly, her eyes seemingly refusing to meet yours, instead staring straight ahead at the path before them. You sighed, trying to find the right words to express what you wanted to say.

"Why would you do it, Liz?" You asked finally, kicking your feet on the gravel. "I mean, I know we're not really friends, but I didn't think you would ever do anything like this."

"Why wouldn't I?" She shrugged. "Is it right to sleep with a professor for good grades? Do you think that's fair on the rest of the class?"

Her words were laced with venom, but you couldn't see the anger there.

"Do you really think that's why I'm doing this?" You asked, with a frown. "You think I'm doing it for good grades? Does that really sound like something I would do?"

"I honestly don't know," she replied with a fierce shrug. "Why else would you do it? But the thing is, Y/N, the rest of us suffer from you getting special treatment."

"Professor Barnes doesn't give me special treatment," you countered. "When we're in the classroom or at school, he treats me exactly like every other student."

"Then explain to me why you're at the top of the class?" She argued. "When I'm still at the bottom."

And you finally realised; she wasn't angry at the situation, or at Bucky, she was frustrated with you.

"This isn't about Professor Barnes, is it?" You asked slowly, piecing together the hints that she had given you to try and make the full story. "This is about me."

Liz paused, turning to look at you, her long strides coming to a stop in the middle of the path, her dark eyes finally turning to look at you.

"It's not fair."

It was a simple statement, yet there was so much pain in her voice, so much disappointment and resentment in her tone, and for the first time since you'd met her you actually felt sorry for her.

"I get good grades because I work hard. I do extra credit work, I'm always studying, I do anything I can to keep my grades up," you explained. "Professor Barnes doesn't have anything to do with that."

She let out a small laugh, glancing down at her feet awkwardly.

"To be honest, I think I already knew that," she said quietly. "I just-Honestly I'm jealous. You have everything, everything seems so simple for you. You get amazing grades, you're so smart, you're beautiful without even trying, you have a guy like Professor Barnes falling at your feet. And if I want any of those things, I have to work so hard."

You smiled slightly, and when Liz looked up and saw your expression she frowned in confusion.

"You really think I have it easy?" You laughed. "Liz, I basically have no social life because I'm always either in the library or at my desk working and studying. Half the time I look like a complete slob! And honestly? I'm as surprised that Professor Barnes is interested in me as you are, but it's more than just sleeping together. He's important to me, in a way that I've never experienced with any other guy before."

Liz paused, considering what you had said, before looking back up at you. "I'm sorry, ok? I'll delete the video, I never should have sent it in the first place," she said. "I guess I just wanted, for once, to one-up you."

You nodded in understanding, throwing your hand out towards her with a smile. "Friends?"

She pushed your hand away, instead pulling you into a tight hug; she smelled like lemons, although with the way that she held herself, that shouldn't be something that surprised you.

"Friends," she agreed. The pair of you began to walk again, and the tension that had been seated between you earlier was now gone. "Maybe you can help me study sometime? I want to raise my grade."

"Anytime."

You arrived at Bucky's apartment a little after 8:00pm. You and Liz had spent the rest of the afternoon together, heading out for frozen yoghurt, with Liz firing 101 questions at you about Bucky. She had almost lost her mind when you'd called him by his first name rather than 'Professor Barnes', and had apologised profusely for any trouble that she had caused.

When you tried the handle you found that the door was already open, and letting yourself inside you rid yourself of your coat and bag, leaving them by the door.

"Good news!" You called out as you made your way through the apartment towards the lounge. "Liz is going to delete the video, and weirdly I think we're friends now!"

But when you reached the lounge you didn't find Bucky sitting in the armchair with a book like you had expected. Instead, the lights were dimmed, candles placed around the entire room. Three candles sat in the center of the coffee table where two plates of pasta were sitting waiting to be eaten. There was a jar of red roses over a red tablecloth that looked suspiciously like the spare blanket from his bedroom.

That was when Bucky appeared from the kitchen, a glass of red wine in each hand, his cat, Alpine, following closely behind him, rubbing up against his legs.

"Hey doll," he smiled, handing you a glass of wine. He looked delectable, wearing a dark blue suit with a crisp white shirt underneath, the top three buttons undone to show a hint of his chest.

"Bucky, what's going on?" You laughed in astonishment as he took your hand and led you to the coffee table. You hadn't noticed it before, but two of the cushions from the couch had been placed on either side of the table, and he guided you to one of them, helping you to sit down cross-legged by the table, Alpine immediately jumping into you lap and making herself comfortable.

"I know that there's been a lot going on recently, and I wanted to do something just for us," he explained with a smile as he sat down opposite you. "For you."

You couldn't help beaming at the thought as he reached forward and clinked his glass against yours. He had done this just for you. Not as an apology, or so that you'd fall into bed with him, but because he genuinely wanted to, wanted to make you happy.

"Bucky, this is…" you trailed off as his eyes caught yours, blue boring into yours. You got lost in them for a second, an ocean blue that you could simply dive into. "This is perfect."

"You're perfect." You felt as though you could cry; this was everything that you wanted for you and Bucky, to simply be happy, with no worries and nothing to get in your way. You knew that, right now, that wasn't possible, but even just for tonight, you could both forget that, you could play pretend. "That's why I got this made for you."

He placed something on the table, something shiny and small, and slid it over to you. You picked it up, glancing down at it in the palm of your hand. A key.

"It's for this place, a key to my apartment," he explained, and your eyes shot up to meet his in surprised joy. "We might not be able to be together out there, but in here we can be anything we want to be."

"Bucky…" you said quietly, your hand coming to rest over your mouth, tears beginning to well up in your eyes.

"Don't. Don't say anything." He reached over, taking your hand in his, placing a sweet kiss to your knuckles. "This apartment is a safe haven for us. Here, no one can tell us what to do, or how to be. And as my girlfriend, that's all I want for you."

"Girlfriend?" Your eyes widened at the title, your heart beating three times the normal speed. He brought a hand to the back of his neck, scratching there awkwardly, a habit that you realised he brought out whenever he was struggling to emote what he was trying to say.

"If you'll have me?" He asked quietly. "If you want me?"

You smiled, a tear trickling down your cheek.

"Bucky, that's all I want." He reached forward, wiping the tear from your cheek, and that was when you noticed it, the music playing in the background. "Is this my favourite song?"

"Halley's Comet," he confirmed, and you let another tear slip as the song played gently in the background.

In my dreams I seem to be more honest, and I must admit you've been in quite a few.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, doll," Bucky whispered gently, cupping your cheek in his hand. "Please don't cry."

My sleepless nights are better with you than nights could ever be alone.

"I'm crying because I'm happy," was all you could reply. "So, so happy."

I've been loved before but right now in this moment, it feels more and more like I was made for you.

Bucky pulled you close to his chest, and you closed your eyes, taking in his scent, your favourite smell in the world. You never wanted this moment to end.

| @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer | @moonlightreader649 |

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xoxo-susu · 4 months

Text

Coquettifying this semester ⋆。·˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧。⋆

Hello loves ♡

My first class of the semester starts this week, so I thought I'd make a lil post on my favorite school tips and tricks for Spring 2024 :)

Studying and homework ⋆。·˚ʚ 🩰 ɞ˚‧。⋆

🩰 White noise. If you struggle with zoning off while you work, white noise is exactly what you need. I personally prefer pink or brown noise because it's a little deeper and softer and white noise just makes me think of falling sand.

🩰 Stay on top of your assignments. In the beginning for me especially, it's so easy to let things slip. Do not do it. It will impact your grade for the rest of the semester. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience. Try and do your homework right when you get home. That way, you maximize relaxed time without worrying about assignments.

🩰 Keep your study space clean and cute. You're not going to feel motivated sitting at some grungy old cardboard box that smells like leftover pizza! Try and make your study place somewhere you enjoy to be. And keep it clean!

🩰 Pomodoros. I love love love pomodoros. They help me stay so much more focused because it's like a challenge to study through the whole time. If you don't know what a pomodoro is, this link explains it pretty well ♡

🩰 Find what works for you. I find I focus best in the morning. Some people feel like they're at their sharpest at 2:15 PM. Experiment a little with a low-pressure assignment and figure out when you work best. Once you do, schedule your assignments accordingly. The hardest go during that time, but the easiest go when you're least motivated. Also try and go to a coffee shop or the library! It's sooo motivational.

🩰 All nighters. These are great for romanticization purposes and nothing else. Get. Your. Eight. Hours. Of. Sleep! Unless you only found out about an assignment the night before its due and there's no other option, do not do it! You need rest for your brain to function properly. There was a study I remember hearing about where one group of students crammed for a test the night before and the others slept well, and the well-rested ones got higher scores.

🩰 Study groups. If you work well with other people, do this! But if you get too distracted, don't do it.

🩰 NOTION!!!! Notion is SUCH a great and aesthetic website to get organized.

At school ⋆。·˚ʚ 🎀 ɞ˚‧。⋆

🎀 Ribbons. Ribbons are such a coquette staple. Put them on everything! Especially your hair.

🎀 Take cute notes. Make them something you'd like to look back on! Buy yourself a new pack of pink highlighters, write in juicy black pen, doodle bows, use washi tape, whatever you think looks best. Even try and make your homework look pretty. My spanish midterm project was a coquette work of art.

🎀 Look your prettiest. Again with the ribbons--put them in your hair! Wear cute mary janes. Brush your hair. Take a shower before, if you can. Wear a vanilla or rose scented body mist. Put on some cute rings. If you have a uniform, wear a cozy scarf and as much jewelry as you can.

🎀 Books. Bring a book with you everywhere. It will make you look so educated and elegant. Some of my favorites are Little Women, Heaven to Betsy and Betsy in Spite of Herself, Jane Eyre, Sense and Sensibility, Sad Cypress, Death on the Nile, Anne of Green Gables, and Betsy was a Junior and Betsy and Joe. The Betsy books are perfect because each one is about a year in highschool, and they're so coquette and vintage and she's such a study icon and ugh.

🎀 Make good friends. Having a good group of people to motivate and uplift you is sosososo important. Get rid of the ones who hate to see you succeed. And it will make school feel like someplace you're genuinely excited to go to.

🎀 Don't skip classes. Just don't. It's not the vibe.

🎀 Be nice to your teachers. If they really suck then they really suck. But your school year will be so much easier if your teachers like you and know of you as a good student.

🎀 Try and find 'your place'. Not like that. Literally. Try and find a little nook you and your group can claim as your favorite.

🎀 Make your supplies as cute as possible! Get a cute bag or backpack if you can. Pretty stationary will help you romanticize so much. Get rid of the ugly neon yellow pencils.

Coquettifying ⋆。·˚ʚ 💌 ɞ˚‧。⋆

This is the best part!

💌 Watch GRWMS and coquette school vlogs.

💌 tie a bow on everything.

💌 Lipgloss, lipgloss, lipgloss! Pale pink and shimmery.

💌 Make a coquette academia pinterest board, like mine.

💌 In the words of our icon @coqxettee, "Study and work hard. Being intelligent is attractive, gorgeous and most of all, one of the keys to success." Read her posts too, all of them are just lovely for romanticizing.

💌 Take care of yourself. Face masks while studying, matchas on the way to school, gua sha before going to sleep. AND STAY HYDRATED!!!!

💌 Get a cute lotion for school. The glossier one is great but a bit on the pricier side. Bath and Body Works has a lot of great alternatives (but some of their stuff has been said to cause cancer so mb look into that)

💌 Cute little claw clips in your hair or on your bag. Emijay has an ADORABLE one, but there's also a really cute temu dupe.

💌 Find your signature scent, or make it seasonal like I do!

💌 Keep a diary. Fill it with sweet memories, funny pictures of you and your friends, deep quotes, and lipstick kisses.

💌 Mary Janes. Period.

💌 Get cute frilly socks and dainty jewelry.

💌 Shower every day.

💌 Go thrifting.

💌 Try and take a walk every day, even if it's just up and down your street.

💌 Keep a bouquet of fresh flowers in your room.

Okkkkk that's the end! I hope this helped out with any coquette issues. ily all smmmm byee! ⋆。·˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧。⋆

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lockedvoice · 7 months

Text

My Figure Skating Journey ⛸★⋆. ࿐࿔

Origins

Seeing Disney on Ice for the first time as a kid made me want to learn how to ice skate but my family couldn't afford it and there were no ice rinks near the small town, hence I started ice skating later in life as soon as I could finance it myself as a working adult!（ ´ ∀｀）

2014

The 2014 Winter Olympics inspired me so much that I decided to sign up for ballet classes in hopes that it would be a good distraction from the fact I wasn't able to figure skate. I ended up not only becoming a ballerina, but that's how I landed my first job as my ballet school's receptionist and assistant dance teacher.

To this day, I still use what I learnt in my short time with ballet on the ice (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

2016

Seasonal ice rinks started to appear near my hometown so I would go as often as I could while they were open. Coincidentally, Yuri on Ice came out in the same year and, since I'm an anime fan, it felt like fate at the time. I like to joke that the UK's Yuri On Ice fandom managed to magically summon seasonal ice rinks in places they never previously appeared in.

This is also the year I got my first pair of skates! The SFR Galaxies! Unfortunately, the ankle support on them was non-existent so I got a pretty bad ankle injury while trying to learn how to spin on them...

( ｡_｡)

Learn from my mistakes people, don't try learning figure skating moves on recreational skates. You need ankle support!

2019

A seasonal rink miraculously opened up for a few months in my hometown so I worked there and got free ice time as a staff member benefit (ㅅ´◡`)

Even when I wasn't working I'd often just hang out and ice skate with my friends during my free time. Some of my coworkers actually had proper figure skating training, they helped me out with certain moves from time to time.

I got my hands on the last pair of Edea Overtures at the closest skate shop and the rest is history. (I still can't believe the last pair they had were in my size!)

The rink staff became like family to me, I still consider 2019 to be one of the best years of my life. And then, shortly after, tragedy struck...

2020

Lockdown happened so no one other than competitive athletes could ice skate during that time. I used quad skates to skate outdoors in my neighborhood at the time but it just never felt the same as ice skating.

I wasn't very motivated during this time and my mental health started going down the drain because it was the first time in my life where I didn't have a set routine to distract me from life's stresses.

2021 - 2023

I went to University and became a committee member for their Ice Skating Society. University was not the greatest experience for me, I was suffering with an array of mental and health issues and was working two jobs while studying at one point.

The Ice Skating Society and the friends I made there were probably the sole reason I managed to keep myself together during my studies. Every time I would step on the ice I felt as though all of my stress would temporarily fade away.

By the time I got to my final year of study, the UK was in a major economic crisis so I was struggling to afford skating and I had to stop going to the ice rink entirely during the last semester.

Not being able to skate again hurt.

2023 & Beyond *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

As soon as I graduated from University, I moved to Serbia and started working almost immediately. I was burnt out and un-motived so I spent the first few months just getting used to life in Serbia and recovering from the stress University had put me through.

It took a while to regain my will to live (dramatic, I know) but once I did, I decided to visit the only Olympic sized ice rink in Serbia to see if I could potentially skate once again.

Now, for the first time in my life, I'll be training with a figure skating coach and I've decided to document my progress henceforth in hopes of inspiring others to fight so they can continue to do what they love. just like I did!

#figure skating #ice skating #disney on ice #yuri on ice

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etherealising · 5 months

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just wanted to say i know the horrific feeling of wanting to update and finish a story but just being so swamped and unmotivated or feeling like whatever your writing is not coming out how you wish. i respected and appreciated that you even took the time to announce that you were putting aeikoy on hiatus bc im sure that announcement gutted you as a writer, especially when you just want to be able to finish it all the way through. but the hiatus was a great choice for you and the recent updates have been fantastic and whether or not you go back on hiatus after these updates is so fine with me as long as you do what you feel is best. you're a fantastic writer and you have created a truly beautiful and heart wrenching story that i adore! hope you're doing well!

thank you so much for this message anon, i felt like such a failure for even thinking about a hiatus, but i could not write for the life of me it was starting to feel less like a cute little hobby and just like something that was draining me. being honest i was only able to get these two updates out because my university was on thanksgiving break, and the whole time i felt guilty for not actually doing my schoolwork and writing instead, but like i just finally had the time and love and motivation to write and now i’m just trying to deal with the aftermath of not being productive in the way i felt pressured to. i have to agree, the hiatus was much needed and as sad as it makes me i will be going back onto hiatus, at least until i finish the rest of this semester. i am so glad you’ve been loving these updates, i feel like a broken record at this point but it just makes me genuinely happy to share in something so fun with people and make connections with my goofy little fic. thank you for your kind words and as much as you all praise me i will always doubt it, but i’m just thankful for the community this fic has created, and i wish we could all just have a little sleepover and gossip about aiekoy! 🫶🏽🤍

i hope your writing goes well in whatever capacity you choose to write, and if you’re ever comfortable enough to share it, i would love to give it a read! 🥰

#you guys make me so happy i ever posted this fic! 🥹#genuinely emotional bc of this anon #kindness really goes so far in this world #giving you all kisses #and the biggest internet hug!#should i start that whole emoji anon thing??#idk lol #vee answers °•. ✿ .•°#[aiekoy] asks

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heereandthere · 8 months

Text

So. I'm Alive! (Life Update)

I logged onto this account to try and find something I remembered having buried in my drafts, and since this thing feels kind of like a time capsule to my time as a teenager, I felt like it was semi-appropriate to do a life update since the last time I was here.

When I used this account, I was between 15 and 16 years old, and I am now 20! Holy shit! I'm like. An adult-adult, and that's still completely bonkers to me. I used this account BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. The person who created this Tumblr just outright does not exist anymore and that's INSANE.

Not only am I a proper adult, but I'm also a COLLEGE JUNIOR. I'm so proud to tell you all that I am, in fact, studying theatre and theatre performance on a professional level. I'm the secretary for the theatre-based fraternity on campus and am currently president-elect leading up to the election we'll be doing at the next meeting when the current president steps down. I'm also a part of the theatre for young audiences program as an actor, in beginning rehearsals for my second year with them, and am slated to perform in both mainstage shows this semester (out of the 10 shows we've put on or are planning to put on since I came here, I've been cast/performed in 7!). And on top of all that, I'm slated to be performing in SCOTLAND in the foreseeable future! I'm a busy bee!!

Personal life has been kind of a clusterfuck, mostly courtesy of the pandemic. But I don't really want to focus on a very, VERY dark part of my life other than telling you all that I've finally gotten much-needed diagnoses and coping skills. My obsessive-compulsive ass got and will likely try to continue to be counseled, y'all! It's still an uphill battle, but I'll fight it until I take my last breath. :) I mean, hell, I got the motivation to CLEAN today! If that's not indicative of improvement considering what a mess my room has looked like for the past two years, I don't know what is!

I'm also very proud to report that I have a friend group I feel very accepted and comfortable in. It took a very long time for me to find my "people", and I really think I have here; the theatre department has been so kind and welcoming, and I really do love and cherish the people I work with. Several of them are graduating next semester, which is DEVASTATING, but I know they're all going to do amazing things. I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world. The same goes for every single one of my non-theatre friends, for though they be few, I would do anything for each and every one of them. They've collectively made this whole "growing up" business so much easier to cope with.

Finally, and I make a point to talk about this because it changed my life so much, Be More Chill is now a chapter in my life I've left in the past. I still love the musical dearly, but it's become a part of my personal history rather than my current obsession and I've made my peace with that. It and musical theatre will always be a huge part of me (obviously, since theatre is my chosen profession), yet my interests have and will continue to change. That's life, baby!

And I want to cap this off by saying, if you paid any mind to this blog at any point, thank you. Thank you for indulging in a really weird journey piloted by a really weird teenager and thank you for paying mind to this post by an equally weird but better adjusted adult. I made this blog when I was at an incredibly low point in my life and having gone through the drafts and seen the unsent posts I wrote about what I was going through, I've made it... so insanely far since the last time I was here.

After a lot of hemming and hawing, I really do think it's finally time to let this blog rest, even though I already haven't touched it for quite some time. I'm still active on Tumblr, though, so if you're interested in getting back in touch or reading some new fic I've been working on for Good Omens, you can find me over at @antiquarianandunusual. You can also find me on AO3 under the same name, or Twitter as AmazingMrFell.

With that said, time for teenage me to rest easy. We made it, bestie. :)

~Heere (Sam)

#heere says things #personal #personal post

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in-my-feels-probably · 7 months

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Hi, congrats on 1.5k!! If it’s not too much trouble, can I request a Grishaverse (Your choice of SoC or SaB) romance for option 2? My pronouns are he/they/she, and any gender/character is okay! As for info about myself, i constantly dye my hair, I like to read romance and fantasy books, I’m about 5’5, I definitely spend too much time daydreaming about random things, I’m really into musical theatre, I’m not very organized, and I’m pretty much living proof of honors burnout lol. Thanks so much and Congrats again!!

hi!

thanks for participating :)

i ship you with jesper!

jesper knows all about that honors burnout. he made it through like a semester of university and decided it wasn’t for him, and ran off to the barrel. he’s an incredibly talented and smart person, he just doesn’t having the patience for academics. still, the transition from that kind of life into the life of the barrel must have been a hard adjustment. what motivated him then is a lot different than what motivates him now, and he certainly has different interests. when you’d go through that transition, he’d be there too. he’d understand and support whatever path you decided to take. it wouldn’t matter where you ended up, he’d be proud of you either way.

jesper is definitely a chaotic person. he thrives on spontaneity and adventure. he’s never organized, and he’s fine with it. i do think he would enjoy the arts. i think he’s definitely a lot more artsy and performance talented than academically talented, so he’d be happy to indulge your musical theater hobby. i don’t think he’s much of a reader, but i do think fantasy would really fascinate him. and he’d take any excuse to talk to you really, so hearing about your books you were reading would be one of his favorite conversations starters. after a long day, he’d want to sit with you while you read to him to unwind.

—

on a mission, jesper would drive the group absolutely nuts with his humming and singing. kaz would be ready to take him out by the third time around he was singing the same song while you were waiting around for inej to scout out the area.

“jesper…quiet.”

his tone was deadly serious, but you couldn’t help but chuckle anyway. you’d quickly straighten up as kaz looked over at you, his face sour.

“you had to take him to the theater last week?”

you’d give him a sheepish smile, shrugging. “i wanted to see the play. i didn’t know he’d be able to recite the whole thing back to front by the end of it.”

“it’s called taste, darling,” jesper would interrupt, grinning as he threw an arm around your shoulder and rested against you. “it’s art. pure talent—a jesper talent. you’re just jealous, boss.”

kaz would give you both a less than impressed looked before griping underneath his breath, walking around the corner to put some distance between you until inej got back. you’d turn to jesper once kaz was gone, chuckling as he grinned at you.

“it was a good play, wasn’t it?”

“it was,” jesper agreed, smiling down at you. “i don’t remember most of it to be honest, though. i was too busy looking at you.”

you’d roll your eyes, fighting the heat you could feel creeping up to your cheeks. “if that’s true, why have i heard that song come out of your mouth at least ten times a day since?”

“i don’t need to be watching to listen.”

you’d exhasperatedly sigh, leaning into his side. “that’s a shame. it really was a good play.”

he’d smile, reaching a hand down to play with a strand of your hair.

“if this goes well and we get paid, i’ll take you again to see it. i’ll even pay attention this time. hard to do when you’re sitting right next to me looking like that, but i’ll endure it just for you.”

he’d chuckle, making you laugh too. “how touching.”

“how disgusting,” you’d hear from around the corner—inej coming back with kaz at her side, a look of genuine annoyance on his face and a fake one of disgust on hers.

it only made you and jesper laugh harder.

—

thanks again for participating! i hope you liked this :)

#followers celebration #1.5k followers celebration #1.5k followers #1500 followers #shadow and bone #six of crows #grishaverse #jesper fahey

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mawofthemagnetar · 2 years

Note

Hi, is there any advice you could give to beginner writers? Your works really inspired me as a writer for whom English isn't a first language and i wanted to say thank you so much for that, even if it wasn't intentional. I wanted to try writing something a bit more serious than short fanfiction and i figured you'd be the best person to ask about that. Sorry if it's a bit too weird ^^"

Anon, I'm truly and deeply flattered, and thank you so, so much for letting me know this. This isn't weird at all, and don't apologize for asking!

As for your question, uh...

So, the thing is, I've never, ever taken any sort of formal training for writing or English. I did okay in school, but as far as writing goes, I'm entirely self-taught.

The most basic piece of advice I can give is: For the love of god, use your enter key to break up paragraphs and make sure everything is roughly grammatically correct. That's the single biggest thing to keep in mind.

Aside from that, here are the only real pieces of advice I have:

Write for yourself.

And write the specific content you want to read.

I know that's easy to say, but the thing is, it's incredibly easy for fic you think is killer to get ignored, and at the end of the day you need to be your own target audience. If you ONLY write for numbers or comments or reaction, you're going to go insane and want to quit. Now that's not saying that feedback isn't important- it's critical, and it's a huge help. But having a story you really, REALLY want to see to completion is such a powerful motivator, at least for me. It's the only way you'll have enough steam to keep going for longer works. So, when I walked into the Hermitcraft fandom, I looked around, saw that nobody else was giving Keralis the nightmare monster treatment he deserved, and dove in with both feet.

Another thing:

KILL SECRET RULES.

Full send. Every time. Write something and full send it, slap that shit on Ao3. Obviously edit and spellcheck, but don't get bogged down in "is this good enough". No, it's not perfect. Because nothing created by human hands is EVER perfect. If you agonize over every line you'll hate yourself. So when you have something roughed out, give it a day to rest, give it a polish, and then drop it like a lead potato. It's fanfiction. We're not getting paid. It's for fun!

So who cares if the fic is short? Who cares if the fic is weird? Who cares if it's something odd or strange or whatever? Don't give yourself minimums and requirements and regulations. Let the words do what they will.

Both of these things tie into my biggest single tip, which is:

START WRITING AND DON'T GIVE UP.

The thing is, fanfic is a fantastic way to sharpen your skills. There's an old anecdote about two classes of university students in a pottery class, and how one class was graded on number of pots produced and one was graded on a single pot at the end of the semester. The class that cranked out pots like there was no tomorrow had better clay pots at the end of the day, because they'd put in the time to actually practice pottery instead of stressing over theory!

So just...start. Just open a word document (or a google doc if you're not a piratey pirate like me) and just put some words down. The more you write, the easier it gets.

If you don't have an idea for a story, look for some prompts- or just start asking questions. This is sort of how I come up with plots:

Grab a hermit. Grab your favourite hermit. Your protagonist doesn't have to be a nice person, or a good person, or even a hero at all, but if they're a blorbo it really helps.

Let's say it's Zedaph. Now let's put that fucker in a situation. Think of something you're interested in! For me, I have an extreme obsession with aircraft and aircraft disasters and the wilderness. So, okay, let's do a pilot AU. Now I get to dress Zed up in a pilot costume! (Keralis can be his co-pilot!) It's fanfic- you're allowed to spoil yourself! And then, from there, we make decisions about our story- does Zedaph crash his plane? How do they find rescue?

Plotting a story, at least to me, is about putting these bitches in a situation and then asking questions about how things will turn out based on how these characters act.

So, in general, just... go for it. Your first stories WILL suck. Christ knows mine did. You don't have to post them! But you can. And you might be surprised- because as you grow as a writer and a creator, people will look at everything you've made with very different eyes than you have. Even the old stuff you come to cringe at is often loved by someone, somewhere. (This is why you should orphan old works instead of deleting them, trust me!)

But when you go for it, there's another thing you should keep in mind:

Take breaks. Rest. Take time off. It's not a job and it shouldn't feel like it! Go for a walk. Take a month off. Look at the daisies. Spend time with your family. Real-world experience is valuable to a writer, helping you understand sensations and situations. Reading other people's works is invaluable too, helping you get to grips with stories and plots and all the machinery of narrative. So take time to exist, and take time to consume, and take time to rest.

Take time to be.

To sum up, writing is a game of mental leapfrog where you shuffle puzzle pieces around in your head until they click into some kind of shape. The perfect is the enemy of the good and secret rules will make you insane. The actual act of putting words down is something that absolutely gets better with practice. And you're not a machine, so don't treat yourself like one.

And anyone can write.

I'm not some authority on writing. To be frank, I'm kind of clueless. I don't know the technical terms for things, I'm not an English teacher, and I'm not a professional. This is just my general, overly long thoughts on the matter.

I hope this was even slightly helpful. Go for it, dude. I believe in you!

Oh, and one more thing...

Listen to some Pendulum while you write. <3

#Magnetar rambles #answered ask #thank you!#these are just my thoughts and they're probably very incoherent #I hope this was even slightly helpful #thank you so much anon #I believe in you with all my heart!#And I'll be honest #I'm not amazing at sticking to all of these myself #but they're things I think are helpful #again #I'm not an expert #I'm just some guy with a keyboard

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 2 years

Text

Recovering from burnout

Grandparents, aunts, and uncles cling to me

I hug them desperately, as a drowning survivor

Clutches a thrown rope

They cheer me on

“We’re proud of you, sweetheart;

You’re doing amazing things out there”

The rope is oily slick

“Keep up the good work!”

Shaking fingers scrabble to keep hold

“Of course you can handle it all just fine”

Hypothermia makes one’s grip strength weak

“I’m not worried about you”

Shredded palms slip back beneath the waves

“These are your golden years!”

And swollen lungs slowly fill

With aqueous salt

This body’s needs are unfamiliar to me

The constant pressure behind the eyes

Rest, rest, we’re tired, we’re worn

The panic-fueled motivation flickering like flame

Rest, rest, get it done, hurry, hurry

The need to pause and lay down

Just for a moment, close our eyes a bit

The brain fog, the headaches, the silent reaching

For a sign I know I won’t see, to

Rest, rest, you’re free, you’re safe

And I’m struggling to remember when I last had

Enough energy that I didn’t have to ration it

Between naps and ear guards and dim lamps

Just a little while, just a moment, we need to rest

My body crashes against my will

I am no model student, only completing

What I can to survive

Breathing comes first;

The rest can wait a while

I am tired,

Oh, I am tired;

Isn’t it wonderful to know

When I need to go to bed?

That my bodily signals are slowly, carefully

Showing themselves again

Peeking out like stars behind cloudy skies

Finally, finally, a clearer night

To navigate by

I am tired, oh, I am tired

Of swimming without a boat to lay in

During the night

Let me at least see the stars

So I might know how far

I have to go

Heaven above, there are so many signals

So many stars

The sky is lighthouse bright

And I cannot see

The shore

I dim the lights

Slip on my ear guards

Lie down, just for a moment

And hope the starlight might recede

Along with the cloud cover

I have to keep going

We have to keep going

The only way out is through

Each stroke is growing longer

Pauses stretching to the next hidden second

Lethargy is seeping in

The ocean is salty and cold and relentless

And I am tired

And even after we’re safe

On boat or raft or shore

We will be tired

The only way out is through

The cold and pain and sluggish limbs

And the resting

I get home from class

At the second week of the new semester

And I dim the lights

Get myself a snack

And rest

The homework can wait an hour or two

I need to care for myself

If I have any hope of making it

Through

#poetry #burnout

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ettawritesnstudies · 1 year

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Hey Etta! Hope your migraine lessens soon (or i'll fight it for you D:<), and Happy New Year!

For me, I'm still sitting on this ONE conversation I need to finish in GSR before I can get eyes on it, after a month. Hoping to get it done tomorrow at the latest (depends on what I do with family today, since this is their last day all four of us have off before i go back), but i'm SO CLOSE.

Also, I'm finally getting a writer website off the ground! I've tried to do it a few times, but having to do a blog for a class last semester I think helped me actually get the motivation to do it :D

How are your wips going right now? And correct me if I'm wrong, but this is your last semester upcoming, right???? (can't remember if it was fall or spring that was your last)

Happy new year!!!

ohhhh nooo I am so sorry that one conversation is giving you such a hard time. GOOD LUCK GETTING IT DONE I BELIEVE IN YOU 🙏🙏

and congrats on the website!! Please share the link with me whenever its ready I'm super excited to see what you come up with! Which platform are you using or are you coding it from scratch??

My WIPs are going slowly due to a combination of school busyness, travel busyness, holiday hectiness and a small case of burnout. It was fun though - I went to NYC with my boyfriend, then NH with my roommates and a few other friends, then across PA to visit both sets of grandparents and go to my cousin's wedding. Super exciting stuff it's just a Lot ™ I know what I have to do next for each story, but I'm very tired and so the motivation/quality of the prose is lackluster. I'm excited to get back into them over winter break now that I have a couple weeks to rest. :)

and yes it is my last semester coming up!!!!!! I'm so glad, the number of AP classes I took in high school actually paid off - I only have 8 credits of "real classes" to take - only 3 of those are going to be actually difficult, and the rest of my time is fun stuff like research and music lessons! I'm looking forward to having more free time to spend with my friends. AND my internship this past summer paid well enough that I was able to afford this last year of school with only a tiny loan from my parents as a safety buffer for stuff like groceries and gas money. AND AND my internship gave me a job for post graduation so I don't have to worry about job hunting anymore! It's incredibly satisfying to know all my hard work paid off and I have a good job and basically no debt/interest payments coming out of graduation in May. :D

#writer friends #etta rambles #I am EXHAUSTED but I'm exhausted for good reasons :)

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r-ene · 2 years

Text

update on surviving college with rene:

as of 09/12/22 - first month of the first semester as an overloaded-irregular-junior respiratory therapy student (no face-to-face classes yet). i have 11 things i've been doing so far and hopefully once things start getting chaotic (academically) + me being overwhelmed, i can remind myself of these less stressful times, and i hope it can be of help to you guys as well :)

my current schedule:

6 days a week of classes (~32 hrs/week) and as per my mom, sundays are my rest days (we had a talk about this yesterday and i felt very validated with how she told me i deserve to not do any academic related tasks on sundays because i study and do those for long hours most of the week even if i have no upcoming hw/quizzes/etc. and now I feel refreshed thanks to cleaning (its a stress reliever of mine) and working out in the morning, I slept for 7hrs like a baby hahaha) + currently not behind on tasks, but there's a pile of pdfs and presentations that i need to start making notes for to have an easy quiz and exam preparation

☕ planks and morning work out still does wonders with back pain from sitting in front of my desk for long hours

☕ water, coffee, power naps and supplements (bee pollen) are still my best friend. sometimes we add earl grey milk tea to the list, but only when i get enough time to make tapioca pearls

☕ study buddies !! still going strong with my friends from high school with this, haha. we have discord study sessions daily (but now we have a curfew of 12mn instead of studying throughout the night sometimes we reach 5am)

☕ minor subject notes and tasks are done within the day of the scheduled class day i have 3 minor subjects at the moment, not counting mandarin to the minors as its more of an extracurricular now, it has its own sched hahaha

☕ as soon as possible, make digital notes after every lecture as much as possible i like to get done with my notes within the week of the lecture as a review

☕ handwritten notes the day before, or two days before a quiz - really helps with memory retention. i like to only write down the important/key points from my digital notes so it won't take long as when i used to directly make handwritten notes last first semester. it took me a long time and eventually i gave up haha

☕ online and offline planner, tracker and checklist with notion and google docs (but i'm slowly going back to making use of notion more), I have pages with class directory together with the google meet links and notes per professor rules for the classes, countdown before exams, to-do lists and etc. at the same time, I have a dainty planner and checklist just in case I'm not on my gadgets

☕ eating well. important to note. i asked my mom and siblings to remind me to eat as it was a problem with me last year and so far, i have been eating well - sometimes cooking my own meals and eating during lectures if it coincides with meal time, and fortunately, none of our professors who requires us to have our cameras on minds if we eat. some even encourages we do so and not miss our meals :)

☕ using a timer i mentioned and posted photos of the timer i currently make use of to track my time per task/subject so i can oversee and control my work/study time and break times

☕ engaging in different hobbies and learning new skills newly acquired skill and hobby: doing digital floor plans - started with the floor plan to follow for the reorganization of my room and soon, i'll try to make floor plans for a complete house or so because i feel motivated after my floor plan was approved by my architect student friend, hahaha. anw this helps a lot with destressing. cannot emphasize the importance of hobbies in a busy life. (+ adding to this is teaching your dog new skills, adds happy points)

☕ sleeping as much as i can now, as there's not much happening in my classes yet aside from lectures and weekly quizzes ++, i don't wake up at 3 or 4am yet to study but instead, waking up 30mins to 2hrs before classes that starts after 8am and 30mins to 1hr before 7:30 am classes (because those days I don't usually work out in the morning... but i think i should...). anw, like today, my first class started at 9am and i woke up 8am after sleeping at 1am, hehehe we love sleep.

it's the end of lunch break and the end of this list, haha. best of luck to us !!

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