#speaking as someone who used to be an exclusionist

[finalhaunts]

Since I have some (very reasonable) concerns about ace discourse possibly making a return thanks to recent events, I'd like to remind everyone (and myself) that majority of the time the pointless infighting and drama you see among queers really only happens online. If you go to a pride parade as an ace and/or aro nobody is gonna give two shits besides like, terfs and high schoolers who very clearly grew up online. And if one of those two parties DO approach you and give you shit for it i guarantee all the other queers there will defend you. Nobody normal actually cares this much about shit in real life and most of the community understands that; the vocal portion that do care that much don't have much power over the community outside of their echo chambers online, because they know if they just go out in the middle of a queer event and start attacking people they're gonna be the ones getting their teeth knocked out. So like. Don't let anything you read on this website make you think otherwise.

Anyways, aros and aces are queer (yes even the cishet ones), people with confusing/contradictory identities come over here and kiss me on my mouth, etc.

#.txt #speaking as someone who used to be an exclusionist #and is now an aroace dykefag 7 years later #nobody fucking cares and its stupid as hell to. uou're not the true enlightened one you're just some weirdo who doesnt talk to queers irl #'you used to be an exclusionist?' yes unfortunately. i was an 11 year old who had just been introduced to online social justice circles #so i really had no clue what the hell i was talking about and was just regurgitating other ppls talking points #but still #i'm 18 now #so #i am kind of ashamed of that though

[ursaspecter]

🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow

Friendly reminder that asking your lycan partner to turn you is incredibly insensitive! Seriously can we retire this trope already? Not only is it just offensive, but no one would ever actually choose this life! Lycanthropy is a curse. Full stop.

🐾 superhowllock69 Follow

Ok user "moon-moon" as if that original meme wasn't created to mock pack nomenclature 🙄

Anyway I'm not gonna touch that internalized lycanphobia with a ten foot pole. Being turned by your partner is something that can be incredibly intimate as long as both parties are consenting and the one being turned is 100% sure they want it. Literally the only downside to transforming once a month is the pain, but midol works just fine. No one with these "lycanthropy bad" takes ever wants to discuss the legitimate positives that come with this "curse" lmao.

🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow

I'm literally reclaiming moon moon but go off I guess. Anyways turning your partner is absolutely disgusting and morally reprehensible and anyone who does it should be muzzled permanently.

🌜 impawssible Follow

lmao my wife literally saved my life when she turned me but i guess she should be muzzled huh? we run through the woods hunting deer together and can each haul in groceries in one trip now, but nooo she's obviously a danger to society because she cares enough about me to help me when insurance wouldn't cover my medicine

also it was confirmed that the creator of that meme literally makes and sells silver bullets so if you still wanna use moon moon for yourself that certainly is a choice. source: (X)

🦴 pupperoni Follow

I love that instead of naming the more common benefits of lycanthropy, you mentioned that you and your wife can carry all the groceries in one trip. I think that's definitely a positive that gets overlooked far too often and I commend you for speaking your truth, sir

🌜 impawssible Follow

lol thanks but I'm a woman 😅

🦴 pupperoni Follow

🦇 count-fuckula Follow

Plus werewolf blood tastes way better and is as filling as 10 humans 👍

🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow

Oh my GOD you vampblr freaks will just flock to anything. It clearly says "vamps DNI" in my bio!

🐾 superhowllock Follow

lmaoooo of course you're a vampire exclusionist

🌕 daddy-fenris Follow

wasn't OP the same guy who said fursuits were offensive to lycanthropes and doxxed a werewolf fursuiter?

🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow

They ARE offensive and harmful to this community and I'm tired of pretending they're not. They perpetuate harmful depictions of what a humanoid wolf is actually like.

🌜 impawssible Follow

me when I dox someone for making candy colored animal costumes that look nothing like what a real werewolf does

🦴 pupperoni Follow

K

🌕 daddy-fenris Follow

U

#unreality #werewolf #werewolves #fake post

[lastoneout]

Saw a post talking about this and didn't want to derail it, but like, honestly, at this point, I'm becoming less and less tolerant of people acting like straight/cis passing privilege is a real, very serious thing that needs to be taken into consideration every time someone speaks on queer issues bcs I swear to god the only time I ever see it actually brought up is when someone is trying to deny someone else a seat at the table. Like first it was used against bi+ people to explain why we're not queer unless we're in a same gender relationship, and then it was used to shit all over ace and aro people for not being "visibly queer", then they turned on nonbinary people who "look cis", and now I see people throwing it at trans men for some reason like???? This is legit becoming an exclusionist dogwhistle to me. Any merit to this concept is completely obliterated by assholes who are so addicted to playing oppression olympics they're meticulously crafting pokemon type advantage charts to categorize all the gays based on who actually has "real" problems and who doesn't, it's agonizing.

Like putting "straight/cis passing privilege" up on the shelf next to "comphet" until people can learn how to use it in a way that doesn't invalidate someone else's queerness.

[esf-art-and-design]

You wanna know something crazy?

I work for a LGBTQ+/Queer non-profit, I’ve had to sit in on training seminars on how to best support our community, how to create a space that is actually safe for everyone in the community, etc.

You wanna know the one thing that was emphasized by these professionals running these seminars (who are also a part of the community btw)

Telling queer people what their labels for their identity ought to be is extremely harmful.

Gatekeeping the community from other people who are figuring themselves out because of labels is harmful?! Shocker I know, but yes it is.

You know what this means right? It means that:

You don’t get to tell a guy experimenting with queer sex that he’s gay/bi/queer/etc if he ID’s as straight

You don’t get to tell a woman experimenting with queer sex that she’s lesbian/bi/queer/etc. if she ID’s as straight

You don’t get to tell aces who are hetero sexual/Romantic that they don’t belong in queer spaces

You don’t get to blame bi lesbians/m-spec women for creepy cishet men entering wlw spaces to hit on women (in an entitled way) (that’s called misogyny babes)

You don’t get to tell someone they are unlovable/not deserving of a relationship/etc. because of the label they use

You don’t get to tell people that actions invalidate their labels because “actions speak louder than words”

You don’t get to demand to know what labels someone uses because of their actions. (Or you don’t force someone to out themselves)

You don’t apply labels to someone from pure speculation (you could be outing someone and putting them in danger)

You don’t get to tell people their labels are “contradictory” or “don’t make sense” and demand they choose one label over the other

Other Labels cannot harm your own identity, and if you act like it can your wrong and harming the community

And ultimately, It means that according to actual professionals within the lgbtq non-profit space, the exclusionists in the community are wrong and are doing immeasurable harm.

Basically what I’m saying is that everyone is welcome here on my blog, policing identity is harmful, and yes, the exclusionists that told you that your identity is invalid or made fun of you for your identity we’re so fucking wrong.

Everyone who experiences sexual orientation, attraction, gender identity, and gender expression differently belongs within our community.

Gatekeeping only keeps people deserving of services away from the spaces where they can get those services. It keeps them away from peer support. And that’s not good, especially if you know the statistics for self harm and suicide within the community.

#tw suicide mention #tw self harm mention #bi lesbian #inclusive lesbian #he/him lesbians #gaysbian #ace #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aroallo #anti exclusionist #exclusionists dni #sapphic #bi lesbian positivity #aroace positivity #asexual positivity #aromantic positivity

[nothorses]

transandrophobia discourse IS the exact same as ace discourse but not like you seem to think. Just like allosexual LGBT+ people had trouble accepting they oppress aces, transmascs have such trouble acknowledging they oppress trans women. Many LGBT+ people simply have issues admitting they might have privilege over others in the community despite being oppressed! You have a lot more in common with the ace exclus than you want to admit

oh you're so right, remember when aces came up with "acephobia" and then everyone else totally copied and undermined them by creating other words like "biphobia", "lesbophobia", etc., implying that they did not oppress aces?

remember when aces got super mad about those words and told everyone to stop using them forever because having multiple words to describe unique forms of & experiences with oppression among different groups of queer people cancels all the words out?

remember when aros coned "arophobia"/"amanormativity" exclusively because they hated aces, and not at all to describe their unique experiences within aphobia as a larger umbrella?

as someone who dealt with multiple years worth of very targeted harassment from ace exclusionists during the ace discourse, for speaking up on the side of inclusion:

you sound like a fucking clown.

one of the primary arguments against including aces in the queer community was that the oppression they faced- "acephobia" (or more broadly "aphobia", to include aros)- could not be real, because it implied other queer people oppressed a-spec folks, and were never in turn oppressed by a-specs.

to which the a-spec community responded: no, you fucking dweebs, it means a-specs have unique experiences with oppression on the basis of our unique identities. there is no reason this word needs to negate any other words for unique experiences with oppression within the queer community; all of these things can, and do, happen at once.

it's extremely obvious that you have no fucking clue what "transandrophobia" means, and honestly? that's super embarrassing for you.

[cardentist]

If you’re gonna argue with this post then these are required reading: [Link 1, Link 2]

but:

there’s a Purpose to exclusionist groups blocking their targets from creating words to describe their experiences, and the whole point is in cutting out All avenues for discussing them.

you tell asexual people that they aren’t Really gay, or if they Are really gay then they shouldn’t bring up their asexuality in conversations about homophobia because that’s homophobic.

you tell asexual people that they aren’t Really queer or that Nobody’s Allowed To Say The Word Queer, and if they try to talk about their issues under queerphobia then that’s homophobic.

you tell asexual people that they aren’t Allowed to make a term to describe their own experiences, Aphobia and Allo aren’t real and it’s offensive because it lumps gay people in with their oppressors (nevermind that that’s what all labels do, because they’re labels).

asexual people are now not allowed to Either have a space within the wider queer/lgbt+ communities to discuss their issues, Or To Create Their Own Spaces. you won’t realize that this attempt at total silencing is happening unless you see/experience both sides of it.

So.

you tell trans mascs that they’re not Allowed to use the term misogyny because they’re Men and Men aren’t allowed in women’s spaces. or because they only experience Misdirected misogyny so the conversation isn’t For Them. or because the very act of Being a man automatically shields someone from experiencing misogyny, even when someone presents indistinguishably from when they identified as a cis woman.

you tell trans mascs that they are not the primary victims of transphobia Because They Are Men. they aren’t affected by this bill, they aren’t hurt by these people, they don’t have This experience, they don’t look this way, they aren’t hurt by That Thing. they Exist in trans spaces sure, but they don’t Add anything to the conversation around oppression the way that trans fem people do because their oppression is less. they don’t have the right to be a Part of the conversation because they aren’t affected by it.

and if trans mascs Disagree with those points, if they point towards their own experiences with having been affected by these things, then it’s claimed to be transmisogynistic.

And Then

you look at trans mascs creating terms specifically to describe their own experiences (whether that be transandrophobia, anti-transmasculism, whatever) and you Combine those ideas. you tell trans mascs they aren’t Allowed to create a term because they Only experience transphobia, because trans mascs don’t Need a term for their own experiences, because trans mascs having their own term Takes Away from trans fems.

people who aren’t aware of the former don’t understand why the latter is happening, why trans mascs would feel motivated to carve out a space to talk about their experiences when they face hostility when they try to speak in general trans spaces.

but think about what the Point is. what the Point of saying that trans mascs don’t belong in conversations about misogyny, that they don’t belong in conversations about transphobia, And that they don’t belong in conversations that they made for themselves in spaces they made for themselves. what the point in cutting trans mascs out of All conversations they could have about their experiences Does, what that tactic is For.

and mind you, this is not an issue of trans mascs vs trans fems. this is something you hear from cis women, from trans mascs, and yes sometimes from trans fems. but more over, this is rhetoric that you see everywhere and Have seen for decades. the problem is exclusionists and people who buy into exclusionist rhetoric, not any one demographic of people. anyone can be an exclusionist for any group of people, even one they belong to, it’s a Mindset.

and it’s important that we Reject this mindset no matter who the victim is. because when we Only call out the targeting of a specific victim but Don’t dissect and reject the mindset then we allow it to be perpetuated. but just as important as rejecting it is Learning To Recognize It, learning what exclusionist tactics look like and what they do so we can recognize when it’s happening in front of us.

#discourse #transunity #trans unity #transphobia #transandrophobia #exclusionism

[the-delta-quadrant]

something that repeats itself over and over and over is that exclusionists don't understand the difference between one person and themselves, or one person and the entire community. they live for projection and generalisation. they live for an oversimplified mess.

we're seeing it now with mspec lesbians and lesbian men. someone states they're lesbian and attracted to men or speaks out in support of those who are and someone will immediately jump in and say "so you think that all lesbians are attracted to men?" as if someone stating their personal experience somehow makes it a universal truth, as if lesbians are a monolithic group.

the same thing happens when a trans man says he identifies as lesbian. someone will immediately jump in and say "oh, so you think me being a trans man attracted to women means i'm lesbian?" as if someone's personal experience is a universal truth, as if trans men are a monolith.

but this isn't new at all. REGs have always been awful at nuance. so much so that it often feels deliberate, to be honest. like a deliberate attempt to derail the conversation from the actual thing that's talked about, making it about a strawman that doesn't exist.

it happened with non-binary lesbians. "so all lesbians have to be attracted to non-binary people?" "so me being attracted to women as a non-binary person means i have to be lesbian?"

it happened with non-bi mspec people. "so because i'm attracted to people regardless of gender i can't call myself bi?" "so you think bi is exclusionary?"

it happened with aces not being comfortable being called bisexual, pansexual etc. "so you're reducing MY bisexuality to only sex?"

it happened with aces and aros labelling multiple orientations. "so you think everyone has to separate their sexual attraction from their romantic attraction?"

it happened with non-binary people. "so you think because i'm gnc i can't be a man/woman?"

and it probably happened with other identities before my time.

and for a group who loves to shout "non-binary isn't a single third gender", that loves to shout about how non-binary is not a monolith, they sure love treating basically every identity as one.

it's always the same. their response to other communities emerging and thriving is always that we're trying to take everything over with our ideas, that we want everyone to be like us, that we're somehow the ones that don't understand nuance. they think by stating our experiences we're trying to force our experiences into other people, despite us not randomly calling trans men lesbians without their consent, despite us not caring that people call all of their attractions collectively "pansexual", despite us not caring if people experience sexual and romantic people as one, despite us not forcing every trixic to be lesbian, despite us not caring that someone chooses the label bi over other mspec labels.

they also love to bring up real issues in this, trying to compare other people existing to real bigots, like people saying that asexuals not wanting to be called bisexual means that asexuals are just evil bimisics who oversexualise and fetishise bi people. and that's what makes it so much more believable to the people who aren't familiar with either side, because of course they agree that fetishising bi people is bad. they just don't realise that that's not what we're doing.

what we care about is inclusion. to not be erased. to not be demonised. to be respected. acknowledged. accepted. we want diversity, which includes people like and unlike us. but they think our existence is imposing something onto them. and this is honestly why i feel like there's no point in trying to convince REGs who are committed to their bullshit otherwise. it's no use. they'll just claim i'm trying to speak a universal truth by speaking my personal experience. they'll just keep using prescriptivist ideas and restrictive definitions of labels rather than treating identities like identities. they'll just go against everything that is queerness.

#queer #mogai #lgbt #lgbtq+ #gsrm #lgbt+ #rad inclus #genderqueer #nonbinary #trans #non binary #ace #aro #asexual #aromantic #enby #radinclus #mspec lesbian #non-binary lesbian #nonbinary lesbian #mspec #bisexual #pansexual #omnisexual #polysexual

[gay-otlc]

Transmultiphobia

Transmultiphobia is discrimination against multigender individuals. It intersects with other kinds of transphobia like transmisogyny, transandrophobia, exorsexism, enbyphobia, and more.

For those unaware, being multigender means being two or more genders. This is commonly male and female, but not always. Someone could be female and agender, or male and a demigirl. Any combination is possible.

(Personally, I'm male and female and probably something else I don't have a word for. I use bigender, multigender, and genderqueer interchangeably to describe how I feel. If anyone was wondering.)

Why do we need a word for this? Well, largely because our discrimination is something it's important to speak up about, and doing that is easiest when there's a word. Speaking is harder when I have to say "those who discriminate against multigender people" versus "transmultiphobes." Having a word can also help to bring awareness to the issue.

So, what is the issue?

Quite a lot!

Some of my favorites (by which I mean least favorites, they suck)

Being told to pick a side? Sound familiar? A lot of this is recycled biphobia/panphobia/etc. Can exclusionists come up with new rhetoric?

The phrase "men and non-men." This is one I see a lot in queer spaces. Most people don't see a problem with it. The problem, other than reinforcing a new binary and pushing nonbinary people in with femininity, is that some people are both a man and a gender that is not a man. The two can't be separated. People try anyway.

Invisibility. I so rarely see multigender identities talked about, even with other queer people. I barely knew it existed until recently.

Pronoun erasure. Pronouns don't always equal gender, of course, and multigender folks can use pronouns other than he/she, but that is a way to reflect being both male and female. He/she pronouns? Completely erased. It's not even a matter of multiple pronoun erasure- he/they and she/they pronouns get recognition in queer and even some allocishet spaces. I have friends who will think to include neopronouns before considering he/she, which was shocking because he and she individually are much more prevalent than neopronouns, but it seems like together they disappear. We disappear.

The way being multigender impacts sexuality gets mocked and occasionally invites harassment. Multigender WLW seem to get the brunt of it. (Nice going, exclusionists, it's really radical and woke of you to try your best to police how women express gender and sexuality. Really beating the patriarchy there /s). Anyone who's a man and a lesbian gets so much shit for it. Predators, infiltrators into the community- you name an insult, someone's probably set it. And multigender MLM who are also women can get treated as fetishizers.

This isn't just discrimination from other queer people, either. Have you seen the way cisnormativity talks about gender? We all learn that male and female are polar opposites, they cancel each other out, they contradict each other, they can't possibly coexist. But they do. It's just not recognized.

Basically, we multigender people get a lot of shit for existing, even within our own community. Now we have a word for it. So if more people talked about this, that would be very cool.

#i feel like this should have a tldr but i don't know how to write those #i can't be concise to save my life #if any of my followers can write a tldr that'd be great and i'll rb that version #multigender #bigender #transmultiphobia #transphobia #pride tag #important #saturn speaks

[genderkoolaid]

Exclusionism is addicting. It's addicting to have an enemy, to have something to really, properly hate. I know this very well, because I used to doomscroll through exclusionist blogs when I was a kid like it was entertainment, feeling the rush of getting angry and reveling in how these exclusionists I looked up to affirmed that anger and hate. It's addicting because hatred is addicting, anger is addicting, it feels so good to get pissed about something and have other people agree with you and joke with you and rage with you. It's much easier to hate someone and reject them than to hate someone and still work with them. It's easier to get angry at someone or a group of someones and throw your hands up and be done with them than it is to grapple with that anger and know that you have to work together if any of us are to achieve anything. I've seen a lot of exclusionist-type people champion intersectionality and solidarity, but when you devote yourself entirely to feeding your anger and hatred without leaving space for compassion and openness to temper it, solidarity becomes much harder.

Because solidarity and intersectionality aren't just "everybody stands hand in hand around the globe and we all get along," it's not that easy. We disagree and we argue and we say and do hurtful things, personalities and traumas clash, we piss each other off. To stand in solidarity you have to be prepared to get pissed and have people be pissed at you, but know there is a greater goal we are working towards. That's how unions have to work - you may not like all your coworkers, but you still need to work with them in order to have a functioning union.

Exclusionism gets you addicted to anger, as do radical feminism, white supremacy, all types of fascism, etc. etc. It gets you addicted to the Us vs. Them worldview, that you are a part of the brave few who are speaking out against the corruption, the destruction, the invasion of the vulnerable spaces you care for. And it feels good, but it doesn't actually help anything.

Anger isn't morally bad, no emotions are. Rage can be fuel for change, it can push you to keep fighting. But you can't live on rage alone. You'll starve yourself of the things you need to be a full being, and you need to be a full being in order to keep fighting and not burn yourself out while you do it. You need connection, and compassion, and willingness to change yourself and let things change.

#m. #blind rage is a tool of oppressors

[cosmossystem]

hi! we're the cosmos system and we're starting fresh. new blog new us yeah?

bodily 19, treat all of us like adults. we're traumagenic-ish with OSDD but we're friendly to all system types. we've known we were a system for 8 years now. there's about 40 of us including our several subsystems. all of us are either fictives, therians, alterhumans, or usually a mix. so for privacy, we use nicknames on this account.

we're mostly multiple with some degree of median, but don't care to figure out what, except to know that we have several subsystems. we also have a lot of age sliding. as for words that we use to describe ourselves: hydra/cepha/some kind of monoconscious (we don't know and don't care), isolgenic/amitigenic, traumaendo.

collectively we are nonbinary and transmasc and struggle with avpd & ocd, so you'll see posts about our experiences with that. we're also autistic & semiverbal! (but we don't struggle with autism, we're actually quite good at it.)

PLEASE SEND US ASKS!!! we love attention!!!! we don't bite and we would LOVE to be your friend!!!! we use emojis when writing so you'll know who you're talking to, but you can ask to speak to someone specific if you want. check the tags to see who posted what.

no dni, but we block zionists, anti-endos, exclusionists, transandrophobes, most radqueers, and transmeds. (we don't post about ship discourse here so anyone can follow, but for the record we're pro-fic and we'll respect your dni.)

members below :] this isn't everyone, just the ones comfortable posting and chatting.

💙 caspar or cass / max (they/kit/it, aux he)

🍒 cranberry (any/they)

🤍 angel (any pronouns)

💿 red / taylor (he/ae)

🖤 vann (he/him)

🌼 winter / gem / jazz / penelope or penny (she/they)

☀ memory (she/her)

🤖 malware (he/they)

🥚 jam (he/they)

🐾 sage (she/he/they/cat neos)

🧤 crush (he/him)

💜 mike / micah / michael or any variants of that (he/any except she)

#pinned #positivelyplural #systematicpride #plural system #traumagenic #endogenic #osdd system #actually plural #pluralgang #<- using tags so we can find more mutuals!

[elfyprincess]

Hi! dont post this ask pls but i wanted 2 say that even though i strongly disagree with terfs on almost everything and came here with extreme predudice against u, you seem like a rlly nice person apart from the arophobia.

have a nice day and i hope u stop being an exclusionist in ur radicalness and feminism :3

Hi ! I used to be extremely supportive of gender ideology, but I became disillusioned with the trans community’s constant disrespect of women.

A woman is an adult human female. A transwoman is a male with gender dysphoria who socially and medically transitions in order to alleviate said dysphoria. If there was no difference between the two, there would be no need for the prefix “trans.”

My main criticisms of gender ideology are as follows:

1) Women deserve equal opportunities in sports. Trans identified males have no right to compete against women. Transwomen have an unfair physical advantage in sports due to their sex. They should not be stealing awards and opportunities from women.

2) Women deserve access to female-only spaces. Especially vulnerable women, like incarcerated women & women seeking help from rape crisis centers. Incarcerated women should not be forced to shower with convicted male rapists.

3) Trans identified males constantly degrade women & expect us to respect them. They say they are better than us because they have “designer coochies” and choose to conform to misogynistic female stereotypes. Women are expected to submit & accept this humiliation. If we speak out against this misogyny we are silenced & labeled transphobic. I’m tired of it. I will no longer lie to spare a man’s feelings. A woman is an adult human female. A man is an adult human male. No amount of hormones or surgery will ever turn a man into a woman.

I do not hate any individual who chooses to transition in order to alleviate gender dysphoria as long as they respect women, biology, and scientific fact. I believe legal adults should have the right to transition if they so choose. I do not believe transitioning should give you unfettered access to the opposite sex’s intimate spaces.

I do not hate “aromantics.” I believe sex should be an act of intimacy between two people who love and trust each other. I do not believe you should be having sex with someone you are not romantically interested in. I believe this is the best way to cultivate a healthy culture surrounding sex.

I hope you have a nice day as well. And I hope you can take the time to try and see my perspective on things. 🩵

#feminism #feminist #terf diaries #radical feminsm #radical feminst #radfem #terf safe #radfem safe #peak trans #personal

[starlight-edith]

As a physically disabled person that is also neurodivergent… uh… no?? ?????

Being able bodied refers to your ability to be mobile. Like that’s the whole point of the word.

In the notes the OP is essentially saying you’re “disability exclusionists” if you disagree with them which is very strange to me. It’s essentially “if you don’t agree with me you’re excluding me” like bestie…. That’s not how opinions work.

I agree that all disabilities are important/equally valid but as someone who has both physical and mental disabilities we NEED ND people to stop derailing our posts about physical access issues and saying “well you didn’t include ME in this post so you’re an exclusionist” — Could you imagine a Ukrainian making a post about the war they’re going through and some random American saying “well I have it just as bad because my rights are being taken away”?? — like yes, both issues require attention!! But do not take focus away from one topic simply because the person forgot to include yours.

Sometimes we need our own space ok? We have VERY different issues from you by default and we need you to understand that. Your problems are valid!!! Your problems are just as important as our problems!! And I will fight for your right to access until the day I die, but I need you to understand that you can’t go into the townhall meeting about gang violence and demand to speak about smog levels — let us talk about our problems without making it about you too. Please?

#disabled #I find it funny that I’m an exclusionist now for *checks notes* disagreeing with one person on the internet #I’m quite literally in both communities #cerebral palsy has both physically and mentally disabled me #when people that are BOTH beg you to stop derailing discussions that should be a sign that it might be a good idea to stop #disability #cripple punk

[malwarewolf404]

Non-MLM peeps, I love you all and I know you’re just doing what has been done these past couple years, but please for the love of all that is gay please stop using that ugly green and blue flag that has all the charm of a glob of toothpaste and purports to be the “gay man flag” in your pride flag moodboards. That’s not the gay man flag. It’s a png someone made in five minutes in 2019. It doesn’t represent me just because someone on tumblr said it did.

We have a flag already. We’re fine, happy even, that its also a symbol of the entire queer community, if not the queer/LGBTQIA flag altogether as well. Any gay man who is upset about the rainbow pride flag being used to uplift the entire community is either a trans-exclusionist or needs to be taught queer history. The rainbow is all of us, and its also all of us. Its a unifying feature of our pride and we’re happy to have it, and we certainly don’t need to be told that that blue crime-against-color-theory represents us. The rainbow pride flag was invented by a gay man, for all queer people. I don’t know who came up with the green and blue flag, but it was made on tumblr in 2019 for a specific box of people with one label.

That’s just not what pride is about. Instead of subtly telling MLM what our pride flag is, kindly use one of these to represent us. Maybe even one of the ones that have been around for decades, or that indicate out inclusion of trans, non-white, and intersex people.

If you are mlm and you like the blue and green pride flag, that’s fine. But I want you to consider that because its been floating around the internet, corporations and merch-makers are starting to assume its the only gay man flag. And as much as I hate to admit it, that has had a real-life impact on the popularity and recognition of the rainbow pride flag. In addition to that, many people have forgotten that the rainbow pride flag is both the mlm and queer community flag because “gay men have a different flag”. I’m certain whoever made the green and blue flag never meant it to replace the rainbow flag, and I personally don’t want to live in a world where we forgot the things that made us a community.

Just consider that next time you create, disseminate, or share a moodboard or a post or a tweet prominently featuring the toothpaste pride flag as opposed to the rainbow flag, who might be watching? One great thing about the queer community is we have no one defining voice, but this can also be a huge detriment. People may assume one queer person’s affirmation on which flag means what constitutes all our support. You do not speak for me if you consider the green and blue flag the mlm flag. I never asked for that, and I was frankly disappointed when I saw people acting like that toothpaste-colored mess was my flag for the first time last year.

Signed, a very tired gay man with no money or patience this pride 2023.

#gay pride #pride 2023 #queer pride #queer stuff #queer community #gay community #gay pride flag #gay man #gay men #pride flags #pride flag #rainbow pride #trans inclusivity #lgbtqia #lgbt pride #lgbt community #gay love

[plantboiart]

Realised I never made an intro post thing so! Here it is!

Hi, hello, I go by Plant with most stuff on the internet so feel free to call me that, or alternatively I’m kind of experimenting with using Kian, Rumi, William/Will or Void for myself because brainrot (although Void isn’t actually because of jrwi it’s just what I like to call myself when feeling more fem)

My irl names are Havu/Arvo so like… you can call me those but honestly it’s just weird for me to hear/read them when speaking english so I won’t use them for myself online. I’m not going to like get upset if someone else uses them for me though

My pronouns are he/she/they, I’m genderfluid so feel free to ask me if I have any specific preferences on any given day! They is typically a pretty safe option though

The JRWI brainrot is real, specifically BITB, more specifically Kian Stone so like. Expect a lot of posts about that. I might also sometimes post / reblog things about the webcomic Aurora, Slimecicle things in general outside of JRWI, Your Turn To Die, The Good Place, Manic Street Preachers maybe, Ghibli Films, D&D, my own OCs, general writing things, politics, shitty online discourse (love being a hater sometimes), general LGBTQ+ things, and just whatever else I can think of.

I’m cupioromantic (aromantic who wants / enjoys romantic relationships and acts), gay in the sense of only being attracted to men and some nonbinary people but I have no idea what to actually call myself because genderfluid so. Yeah. Also maybe somewhere on the ace spectrum but at this point I’ve given up on trying to figure that one out

Some general stuff, I’m 19 years old, Finnish, and autistic. I’m not going into any more details about my information than that you’ll have to try a bit harder to steal my identity

Very aware that DNIs don’t really typically work but still putting this here: don’t interact if you’re racist/sexist/homophobic/etc (obviously), any kind of LGBTQ+ exclusionist (aphobe, transphobe, shit on neopronouns or xenogenders or anything like that), support Israel, make fun of people for having ‘cringy’ interests (unless it’s like a joke with people you know are fine with it), are a proshipper, or just like generally are an asshole.

Also, not a DNI, but I am an adult (barely) and will sometimes post things with sexual themes or undertones. I’m not going to just post like straight up porn (at least not on tumblr, ao3 is a whole different thing) but just keep that in mind if you’re a minor, a sex repulsed ace, or just don’t want to see that.

Always feel free to send me asks or messages! I love connecting with strangers on the internet like little kids playing together in a sandbox :)

If you want you can find me on ao3 under plantwriting or instagram under plantboiart. I also plan on posting on tiktok sometime soon because I’m planning on finally doing some cosplay content (my tiktok is also plantboiart but there’s currently nothing there)

Uhhh i think thats it i want to add like banners and stuff but scary so maybe ill do that later

[an-android-in-a-tutu]

Just as a general psa if you see someone using asexuality to defend purity culture and attacks on open displays of kink and sexuality, just assume they're a bad actor and don't take it seriously.

A couple years ago at the height of "ace discourse" (read: that massive exclusionary harrassment campaign we've for some reason decided to treat as normal) people pretending to be ace in order to post low key bigotry or just "cringe" and bait people into attacking them were all over the place. I'm not saying that none of them were you know, stupid teenagers genuinely being wrong about things, but hey those kids didn't deserve to be harrassed either as it turns out.

Regardless, that toxic site culture has just made actual ace people less likely to speak up and frankly decimated the community that existed here, so while pobody's nerfect and there's always a possibility that post deriding other people's sexuality as an attack on ace people is from an ace person who just happens to be shitty, I feel the odds are pretty good that that's just what they want you to think.

And not to sound conspiratorial but like. You all get how "Queer is a slur" discourse was used to springboard exclusionist talking points into the mainstream, yeah? You know that the ace exclusionist to terf pipeline is like an acknowledged thing? That even at the time aphobes were pretty blatantly transphobic and openly misgendered outspoken nonbinary ace people in order to deride them as "cishet girls" because that's what fit their narrative? You see how all of those exclusionist talking points have lead to a more hostile environment for trans people and a more divided community, yeah? And you understand that the attack on kink and open displays of sexuality is an extension of that, right? That the goal is in part to exclude trans people from public life by branding us as inherently sexual and deviant?

Okay, considering all of that, do you think maybe it would be convenient for those types of people, to leverage ace discourse in order to attack kink and public displays of sexuality? That laying the blame for purity culture at the feet of ace people would help their cause? Either they get the moral justification they need for the next step of their crusade and shame people out of healthy and open acceptance of sex and sexuality, or they reignite exclusionist debate by placing asexuality in opposition to the rest of the queer community, or both. That's a can't lose scenario.

Like I said I don't have proof and I'm not trying to fear monger and make accusations, but I do think it's something to keep in mind if and when you see asexuality and purity culture bullshit being tied together. That there are certain groups of assholes who would definitely benefit from you taking that at face value.

#aphobia #transphobia #purity culture bullshit #food for thought

[cardentist]

As a nonbinary/genderfluid biromantic, demiromantic asexual, literally every part of my gender identity and sexuality has been subject to the same "you could EASILY pass as cishet, so can you REALLY say you experience oppression when you could simply CHOOSE not to" and "you're not REALLY oppressed for being XYZ, you're only oppressed when people mistake you as cis fem/trans fem/gay/lesbian/any other identity we think is ACTUALLY important." My existence in online queer spaces has been hounded constantly by people trying to tell me what my lived experiences are and what they mean, shouting me down about how I can't speak about Insert Issue/Topic Here because sure maybe I'm queer (and to some, I don't even have the right to call myself that) but I'm at the bottom of the Who Is Oppressed More Hierarchy, I am only Oppressed in the way that sometimes I experience what they deem to be a different group's oppression. Not even my oppression is my own! I am too much of an "aberration" to find community and a place to speak amongst the general populace, and I'm too privileged to have a voice in the queer community, even about things that affect me.

And now, I'm watching that same rhetoric being used against transmen and transmascs. I remember when people on this site started really exploring queer headcanons for characters, everyone cheering "let's make X character gay! Y character is trans! Z character is a lesbian!" but if you dared to suggest "can Q character be ace?" you'd be met with "... that's boring." I remember how quickly ace exclusion devolved from "aces are boring" to "god, aces are annoying" to "when you think about it, aces aren't even really oppressed, so they aren't queer, so they should just shut up." And then it wasn't just aces, it was bi folks. And then it was enbies too. And now. Here we are.

This is the only site where people will blog about how "Gender is a sandbox! It's fucky! Men can be women, and women can be men! I'm a boygirl kind of girlboy! There are genders and sexualities in all sorts of shrimp colors you can dream of!" but in the same breath, they'll still act weird about he/him lesbians. They'll still claim that ALL masculinity is toxic. They'll still say that men are boring and annoying and-- Oh? You think that's kind of hurtful? You want to use this as an opportunity to talk about your own lived experiences and vent your frustrations courteously and privately on your own blog? Why do you have to make everything about you?! You're lower down the Who Is More Oppressed ladder because, wHeN yOu tHinK aBouT iT, no man can be oppressed for being a man! Even trans men! So you and anybody even vaguely masc aligned should just shut up and stay out of the conversation and let the queers who experience REAL bigotry talk!

... They could at least say something new instead of reusing the same rhetoric they've used for aces and aros and bi/pan folk and enbies and masc/butch lesbians and countless other queer identities.

All that to say, as someone who has been subject to all this for every part of my identity, I stand with you. Trans Unity! Queer Unity!

Context: [Link 1, Link 2]

I know Exactly what you're talking about !

I was around in inclusionist spaces 10 years ago at this point, before I'd fully crystalized what I Had Going On.

I Remember it being pointed out that ace exclusionists were stealing talking points from radfems directly, up to and including ripping off entire posts and just swapping out "trans women" with "asexuals."

I Remember people warning each other that normalizing these kinds of talking points, convincing people that that Mindset is a valid one, would then make it easy to swap out the Target of said mindset.

and it Has happened, over and over and over again. people are Always looking for the marginalized people that nobody wants to stand up for. that people don't understand, that people don't see as Needing support, that people already have negative feelings about even if they don't recognize Why.

it'll only ever stop when people examine the talking points Themselves and throw them out. when people are willing to stand in solidarity with people Regardless of whether they understand them or not.

if someone is trying to convince you that class of people As A Whole are undeserving of support, are lesser than, shouldn't have their voices heard or considered, Question It ! when they hold people up in Comparison to say that their pain is Lesser and therefore doesn't Matter, Question It !!

#discourse #queer unity #trans unity #transandrophobia