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ronintales · 1 day

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ೃ₊ 🌾 ❝ So When I Die ❞ ╰►, Gojo Satoru

𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 | following gojo satoru’s death, his ex wife is in charge of taking care of his funeral service and everything else that comes with it.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 | 4,676 words

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | character death, possible spoilers, funeral, angst, and not proofread ;p

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 | I did NAWT want this to be my first work on here but due to certain circumstances…. AHEM his DEATH!!!! I felt it was necessary because laik… grief LOL. I wrote this a while back tho. Enjoy.

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ♡ ༘° 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓, gojo satoru …

Your ex-husband is dead, and in his line of work, yes, you know that he has a higher risk of dying than the average person, but still, death never comes expected, does it? Even if he always says—oh wait… used to, you suppose, say that he was crazy strong and no one could ever take him down. Well, he was wrong in the end like a bunch of other things. Like how well he took care of you, how he’d give you six kids, how—you won’t ramble, noting he’s dead now and there’s no point, but also because it’s quite rude of you to talk down on someone who is dead and can’t defend themselves. Whatever.

You just… don’t expect it. Yes, you understood he was hard headed and insanely cocky, but in a way… you always believed that he would always come home alive and, even if he did get hurt, he would be okay eventually as he heals. You don’t forget it, he’s only human, you know because of the many mistakes he’s made, but still… he’s… he’s gone?

You hesitated when you heard that. Gojo Satoru, the so-called love of your life from two years ago, is dead? Impossible, you think. Gojo Satoru found death embarrassing, with all the things he said. He said that he would be okay. He was always okay. What are you supposed to say to that?

When you get the call, you wonder why you, of all the people in his life, were the one they called to inform about his status. Why did you have to go to his place and clean out all his things? Take all his belongings with you? At first, your instinct was to say “throw it all away,” because what does Gojo Satoru mean to you now? You’re not his wife! He neglected you for years and filled your days and nights with sorrows. He broke your heart. But still, he didn’t mean nothing to you at the same time.

Those precious years of being his acquaintance in middle school. When you had shorter hair and he didn’t know much about you other than you were in his class and he had bought you cute white socks for your class gift exchange on Christmas that year. The long years that Gojo Satoru pined for you after you both attended the same high school. The hard and dark times he went through losing Suguru and shutting you out, though he loved you for so long. When you turned twenty, and Satoru had gotten better, to the point where he felt he was ready to move on and continue with his pursuit for you. When you turned twenty-three, and got married to him on a spur. When you moved in and shared a bed, until the marriage got cold and most nights you spent alone.

You couldn’t say for the past fourteen years, Gojo Satoru was nothing at all to you. The news was shocking, and knowing he was dead… did you have to be careful about how you felt about him, or how you thought of him? Well, now that he is dead, should you be so ruthless and hostile toward the man who broke your heart? You don’t know, so naturally, and it really just slips out, you agree to take care of the process of his passing.

For the most part, you’re calm. You don’t actually know how to feel, and you don’t know how to be. You’re not his wife, you have no obligations to take care of him, or anything that he cared about. Yet, you’re here. In his lonely apartment that doesn’t even smell like him. He probably never even spent much time in this place, even so, he still had a lot of belongings. Pictures of you in frames surprisingly. He did take them all when you got divorced and he moved out of the house, you just didn’t expect that he’d put them up on display. He probably didn’t get many visitors to question him about the lady in his pictures. You were sure that would get annoying.

Anyway, you don’t know if you’re supposed to cry or even feel sad. You don’t know if it’s strange to feel that way or not. You can’t quite make out how you feel, being surrounded by Gojo Satoru’s personality and things. You don’t think too much about the things inside the apartment because you don’t want to be too reminded of what you used to be. What you felt about the man once upon a time. If there was still love in your heart for him.

Gojo Satoru wasn’t a slob, but he wasn’t clean either by any means. Given he probably didn’t stay here much, it made sense that you didn’t need to clean a whole lot of the apartment. You get there and you take it all in. Satoru’s little apartment, because he didn’t want to pay for such a luxurious place he wouldn’t even stay in. Maybe that kind of place made him feel more alone too. Thoughts you should not be thinking start to trickle into your brain, but you stop yourself. You shouldn’t feel bad for leaving, nor should you want to go back. You made a decision to leave and you should honor it. It was the right thing to do for yourself (hopefully).

Do you even want his things? No, not really. But you have a keep, donate, and a throw away bin anyway. Most of it keeps going to the keep bin and donation box. Somehow the feeling of someone else getting Gojo Satoru’s things is unsettling to you, but it’s even worse to think that all these things will just go to a landfill where things that were once valued are forgotten and it’s all going to be considered “trash.” Maybe that’s because you know why every item is there and the story behind that certain mug or decor piece. You don’t know it, but you’re trying your best not to care.

You sigh, the thought that this is all so strange, bothering and pestering you like an annoying fly. You tell yourself you know that already, so stop thinking about it. Maybe you’re in denial that Gojo Satoru is actually gone. You can feel him. He’s still there, you know it. That or you’re just surrounded by his belongings and that’s why his presence is here.

In your hand, you hold a big black garbage bag as you make your way to his bedroom to clear out his closet. This is a room of his that you haven’t been to, strange right? You wondered if another woman spent time here. Jealous much? You’re supposed to be clearing out your ex-husband’s apartment, not pondering about what he was up to after you two had split. The man is dead for one, what are you going to do about it? Confront his dead body? You shouldn’t be thinking about things like that, so that thought is one you shake off and ignore too.

You sigh because you’re tired from cleaning all day and clearing his things out and you’re probably only a quarter’s way done with the place. It’s not even that big, it’s just been uncomfortably hard for you to bring yourself here with your mixed and strange feelings about this whole situation. Isn’t there anyone else who cares about Gojo Satoru? How come you’re stepping up to the plate when this is how you feel—confused and unsure? What are you even going to do for the funeral? You took the task up because Gojo Satoru would probably turn in his grave knowing the higher ups organized his funeral. So while it is strange for you to do all of this, you’ve rationalized the lot of this situation that you put yourself in. Once upon a time, he loved you right? So surely he would prefer you over—you’re so silly, thinking all these things when Gojo Satoru is your dead ex-husband.

You plop on the bed with a small groan as you turn over. This is a bit inappropriate, to be laying on your ex husband’s unmade bed. It’s left in the state that it was the last time he woke up. That’s a little precious you think, freely, not even denying it. Are you ruining this precious thing here? Well, in all honesty, you’re kind of cherishing it, because this is a small piece of Satoru that is really still here in the present times. He always liked soft things and this blanket is soft. The sheets still smell like your ex-husband. The light musk of his skin and his soap is there. The thought of this bed being his is comfortable enough. Like you miss his warmth and touch, you curl up on the mattress, hugging yourself to the scent of him surrounding, and you can almost imagine that he’s holding you right now, like he used to. His detergent is faintly there too, well actually, it’s the same as yours. He asked when you two had split and he was settling into his own place all the household items you used. You supposed that it was all he knew.

You offered to go shop for household things with him and it was probably the last time you two had exchanged any kind of affection. You let him put his hand on your thigh as he drove you two to the supermarket. He let you link your arm with his, sides flush together like you two didn’t just get divorced. It was a silent message of “I miss you,” because it was and—quite frankly, still is—hard to get over someone you loved for so long. Even if he left the marriage long before you did, emotionally and physically. This was something you wanted while you married, for Satoru to present, and in your arms. For him to show you that he cared and loved you. You were even a little upset that was the only time he was doing all of that for you, but you chose not to ruin the moment for the both of you.

Funny how all these memories and things between the two of you are flooding in constantly. It makes you feel kind of sick. Nauseous and unable to breathe. You open your eyes in realization of what you’re doing right now. You sit up immediately, flustered and embarrassed as if Satoru would open the door right now and have that annoying smug grin on his face with his arms crossed, just to say as he leans on the door frame, “I knew you missed me.” Following with your name because he liked your name the best. He always said your name was pretty and he wouldn’t give you a pet name because nothing will ever be as great as calling you by your name. A nice little reminder that Satoru loved your name makes you smile a bit. Weird how all of these just keep piling up. One thought triggers another and it almost makes you itch and feel bad for the way things ended between the two of you. You almost have regrets about—

Whatever, you have a deadline to clean this place up you remind yourself. You spread your palms out on the sheets once more, feeling every thread that Satoru once laid his body on. You should take these for your bed, you think. They’re not so bad, just a plain white sheet, but it reminds you of Satoru’s hair and it would be waste.You lift yourself from the bed and open his closet, not even noticing how you keep having to make excuses for yourself to keep some of his things.

Already feeling overwhelmed because you keep holding back, opening the closet makes you feel like you’re cracking. You let out a suppressed sound. You can’t even register what it sounds like. A squeak or something? But looking at all his clothes almost makes everything so real for you. All his uniform? All his coats and sweaters? Ah, the one from high school. And then you can see all the ones you bought him. Damn, does that really test your strength.

Lined up neatly and nicely put away, it’s almost a shame to you to give these away. Your hand shakes as you hesitantly reach for one of his favorite button ups. Your skin meets the soft fabric and you only lightly touch it because you don’t want to wrinkle it. You remember when you used to iron Satoru’s clothes early in the morning before he woke up. Even until the end of your marriage, you still ironed them.

You look up, reaching for his work uniform. This is what he wore most often, you know that. So you let yourself crumble. Carefully taking off the hanger and sitting on his bed as you hold the shirt close to you. You bring it to your nose, just to smell it. You wish it smelled like Satoru more, but even so, it makes you break down.

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you take another sniff. The thought that Satoru really isn’t here anymore makes your heartbreak. It comes crashing down on you. You really miss him, and you regret that you didn’t spend as much time as you would have liked to with him. You wish you could have had the courage to tell him how much you still cared and loved him. Yes, it might not have been the same kind of love you had for him before, but you did still love him.

You let out a little sob. In frustration and despair, tears flow out as you hold his clothes close to you. The walls of your bruised heart collapses as you hold his clothes so tight as if he was still in them. Well, you really do wish he was. You’re desperate to feel him in your arms physically. Just a moment with him so you could say your last sentiments. Just a moment to see him again. Just a moment to love him.

You’re helpless as your tears flow endlessly onto his shirt. You feel silly, but you just can’t stop. You really miss Satoru, and you have been for so many months now. You stroke the shirt as you would his body, wallowing in the grief you’re supposed to feel, even if the dead man is your ex-husband. You spent so many years loving him, how could you just not feel anything to hear news of his death? How could you not feel any regret or remorse for how messy you left things with him? There’s so many things you want to say to him, and it kills you to know you will never get to say any of it to him.

You wonder if Satoru was still around, would he wrap his arms around you and tell you not to cry? Would he kiss your temple like he always did when you were down? You wish he would just do all of it. You wish you two could have tried harder. Your love for him never burned out, you know that much. It’s the reason why you’re here, alone in his room crying as you hold his clothes dearly to you. And even if you hate to say it, even if you don’t want to admit it, Satoru loved you until the very end too.

“I’m still in love with you y’know…”

“Shut up,” You mutter as you slide the eggs off the pan for the hungry man at the table.

It was the dead hours of the night when he returned from a mission, knocking on your door, telling you that he was hungry and needed a place to crash.You slammed the door on him of course, but he wedged his foot in the gap of the door (no, it didn’t hurt, he’s got magical powers that prevent him from actually getting hurt like damn maniac) and used his own strength against you to push his upper body through the door to beg you to let him stay. It was a mistake on your part, but it actually wasn’t all that terrible that night. You were just bitter.

“My bad,” Satoru said dramatically as he took a bite. “Just thought you missed me. That’s the reason you let me in, right?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, not in the mood for any of his games. His smug grin made everything even worse, because he was right. “Gojo Satoru, wipe that grin off your face.”

“Must have hit a nerve,” He teased like it was still appropriate to do so.

You actually don’t even remember what you said then after that, but you just know… Gojo Satoru has you all figured out yet… he never said anything about it to you. And that was just him. He knew well enough not to break your heart one more time, but he was selfish enough to constantly flirt with you any time he could. If he passed by, or was coming home late from a mission and knocking on your door to remind you that he existed. Not anymore.

After cleaning his apartment, it’s all empty now. Which is a little strange. You’ve never even been to his place until after he died, and yet… it makes your stomach turn and feel upset after realizing that this place is no longer where your ex-lover resides. You understand that he’s no longer occupying it. There’s no point in keeping it for him. But maybe because you don’t think it through while you’re still in the grieving process. You don’t think about Gojo Satoru being dead because you don’t want to. It makes your heart squeeze and your breath stop. You can’t face the fact that he no longer exists and you can no longer see him anymore. You just can’t, so you wonder: where will his home be? Who's going to take care of him? Where is he going to go to shelter himself from the rain or snow? Where is he going to sleep? Where can he feel safe and secure?

You sigh, rubbing your eyes. You really need to get some proper rest. You feel yourself withering in the bitter feelings you still have toward Satoru, but also the dangerous sorrow that’s sinking your whole body down. You can’t believe that you really miss Gojo Satoru after all this time hating him and wishing you two had never met when he was here and alive, waiting for you to just cave into what your heart wanted. Truth is though, you never would. You were too strong for that.

Finally, you pack up the final things, leaving absolutely nothing behind. Satoru isn’t here anymore, and it looks exactly like that. This little corner of the world isn’t his anymore, and you’d like to say that it never was because he didn’t spend much of his time in this place. It’s just sad to see it all gone, stripped to the bare white box it actually is without the fun of your late ex-husband. You shut the door, leaving this place behind and bringing this part of Satoru with you, maybe the only part of Satoru that is still worldly and able for you to have in your grasp. You leave the key to his apartment on the landlord’s desk and leave with the rest of Satoru’s things in your arms, all thrown in the cardboard box labeled “Satoru” in your handwriting with a permanent marker. Silly of you to not even realize it, Gojo Satoru’s home is not a place, it’s you.

The end of it was the funeral process. Which was much more work than cleaning his apartment. You wish somebody was worried about your well-being, but that somebody, the most likely candidate, was dead. Satoru would have told you to chill out a bit and ask you to wind down with him, but this is his funeral, he can’t really do that now, can he? But you don’t want to seem like you’re so reliant on him. You’ve done plenty of things without him, and this will be no exception. He just… sort of made the process easier and bearable. You’re on your 10th phone call with the carpenters of the coffin when you really wish you didn’t take on the task of carrying out Satoru’s dying wishes. He didn’t even have many, because he was so sure he wasn’t going to die so soon.

Through it all, you hold yourself together quite elegantly. Even through the eulogy. No one would even guess the mental strain you put yourself through to make this all happen. All the floral arrangements are beautiful, Satoru’s corpse is dressed nicely—though you grace him with a closed casket funeral because you were sure that he did not want anyone to see him so vulnerably lifeless and you simply could not handle the sight of his stale and unresponsive body. But everyone could indeed tell, Gojo Satoru was loved. They could understand your love for the man. You wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t love him. But you just deny it.

His guest list was quite large. Some people you didn't even know, and you were sure he did not want that. But the higher ups had their own agenda too, and you had to make compromises though you stood your ground quite well for the sake of your late ex-husband's well being in the afterlife. You wonder, would Satoru love you for eternity for loving and caring for him unconditionally and so thoroughly? When you eventually join him, will he thank you for so meticulously planning and giving him a proper send off? You hope so. You hope that he will continue to love you in the next lifetime, and in that lifetime, you two will be happily together. Not miserably apart like you are now.

Maybe the only time anyone can see you break is when the casket is lowered and this is the last time that you’ll ever see Satoru’s face again, except you don’t. His casket is closed and covered with all the flowers you bought to send him off beautifully. There’s a complex look on your face, and no one could quite read it, but it was clear that there was a storm going on inside of you, stirring and rumbling. Your eyebrows knitted together and your eyes glossy with a down turn of your lips. You’re just keeping yourself together for Satoru. You need to.

The only time you get to break down about it is when you get home from the long day. Crumbling down your door, as you miserably sob. How could the world be so possibly cruel that you had to bury the last man you loved for the past ten years? It never gave you time to move on. You weren’t ready to let go just yet and be content with the distance. Sure, you asked for it when he was still tangible, but now he was untouchable, not existing, and it felt so painful. You curl up in a ball, on the bed you used to share with him. The bed you two used to gossip on and the bed where you simply just held him to sleep on your good days. The bed that you laid alone for most nights wishing he’d come to hold you and not be too tired for you. All the bad and good memories come to make you think of one thing; you wish Satoru was here right now.

You lay there, contemplating if you just want to stay there for the whole week or get up and cook yourself something. You haven’t been eating with how hectic it’s been to take care of Satoru’s send off. You sigh, closing your eyes. Sleep sounds like the best thing to you at the moment. You were drained and exhausted from preserving the life of Gojo Satoru as well as commemorating it. You needed that rest.

When you drift into sleep, you kind of hope that Satoru is there for you, waiting in a field of beautiful flowers like he came to visit you in a dream. Even if it’s just your imagination. You’d like to think that he cared enough that he left you alone to deal with all of the things he left behind. He doesn’t though, because you don’t dream. You just black out and you wonder if you’ll ever dream again. But maybe you’re just being dramatic because you miss your ex-husband so much. You blink the tears out from your eyes, wiping them before getting up and pulling yourself together. You can be sad, but not miserable. You were never the type to just crumble, however, even this shook you down to the very ground and yes, it is hard to get back up. But everything with Satoru was hard, and this was no different. You should have been used to this.

Eventually, you do get yourself together. Sad, but you’re functioning. You go back to work and you continue with your daily life. Satoru’s never really been a part of your daily routine after the 3rd year of being married to him. It was no different not seeing him at all, but it was just the fact that he truly wasn't there anymore. If you were to call his cell, it would just ring on your dresser in your room and go to voicemail. Sometimes, you wait for the voicemail just to hear his voice, but most times you stay away from his contact. You’re recovering, just slowly.

People at work send their condolences, just like they did when they found out you divorced Gojo Satoru. They give you a pitiful look and tell you to be strong, but when they think you’re not listening they bash Satoru for passing and still putting the responsibility of carrying his will out on his ex wife—you. You don’t defend him nor does what they say settle well with you. They’re right, of course. Gojo Satoru has always been selfish, up until his last breath, but you just can’t seem to feel validated when you’re the one who buried Gojo Satoru. He was once your whole world, how could you just completely numb yourself to the pain of losing your connection with him, absolutely and completely?

Apparently, you’re the only person on his will too. You inherit everything of his one day, and it’s kind of overwhelming. All of his money is transferred to your bank account, all his belongings, everything is yours. You don’t even know what to do with most of it. You don’t even want to look and use anything of his. So you store most of his things in a box and label it “Satoru,” along with the other things that you took from his apartment, and you make an account to store all his money in, for what? You don’t know, just something.

When you're older, you’ll come to realize that you made Satoru a loved person until the very end, and that you were perhaps the only person that he still had love for, even if you weren’t his wife anymore. This is why Satoru loved you so much, and yes, he got very lucky with you, you will give yourself that. But you also won’t feel so bitter about having to be the person to handle his departure because you made sure to do just the way he wanted it, by you. for now, you’ll miss him lots and bring him flowers whenever the time comes. You won’t call him your ex-husband, but your late-husband. You keep some of his clothes to wear like you used to. You still sleep on your side of the bed, leaving the space Satoru used to fill empty for him. Life goes on the way it used to.

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audhd-nightwing · 1 day

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my take on the Reverse Robins au

damian - bruce met talia and trained with the LoA a few years before becoming Batman. a couple years into being Batman, talia leaves a 7-8 year old damian on bruce’s doorstep. he has to help damian unlearn years of violence and lets him become Batman’s sidekick as an outlet. not sure what his hero name would be yet tbh but i’ll probably just go with Batboy. he becomes a vigilante at 9 y/o

duke - he’s 10 when his parents are jokerized, and he runs away from foster care. he uses his powers to try and become a vigilante but he’s still ten and untrained. batman finds him losing control of his powers and helps him calm down (he works with the justice league, he knows how to deal with super-powered beings). bruce takes him in and while at first damian (14) is wary of being replaced, duke grows on him rather quickly. bruce takes him to the JL and barry & clark help him learn to control his powers. eventually, after being trained by bruce and learning to control his meta abilities, he becomes Signal (at around 13 y/o)

tim - once bruce wayne officially has two kids, the drakes ask him if tim can stay at Wayne Manor whenever they’re out of the country. the boys know each other from galas and get along well, so bruce agrees (he can also tell tim doesn’t have very many friends and is quite lonely). so tim ends up spending a lot of time at the Manor and ofc connects the dots of bruce and his kids disappearing whenever Batman and his partners appear. he basically just tells them he knows and asks if he can do anything to help. so they give him access to the Batcomputer and he directs them on missions and helps with cases. he starts staying at Wayne Manor when he’s about 10 (damian is 16 and duke is 12) and figures out their identities a year or so later. over comms he goes by ‘T’ and later ‘Rumor’. eventually his parents die in a plane crash and he (15) is officially adopted by bruce

steph - she starts out as Spoiler at 13 (damian is 19, duke is 15, tim is also 13). damian has become his own hero at this point: Leviathan. steph works with Signal the most but will work with Leviathan on occasion. damian is a reluctant older brother figure to her and pretends to find her annoying but is secretly very protective of her. she tended to avoid Batman until damian pestered bruce into reaching out and offering to train her which she happily accepted. when they reveal their identities to her she finally meets tim (who is usually just on comms with them) and befriends him immediately. they become besties and an unstoppable duo

cass - same origin of being raised a weapon and running away. she shows up in gotham one day and stays in hiding for a while before letting Batman see her and confront her. she ends up going home with him and the others just accept that they have a sister now. her and damian are the closest because they understand each other best, but tim is her favorite sibling. she is a few years younger than tim and steph. she is 14 when she arrives in gotham (tim and steph are 16, duke is 18, damian is 22). she goes by Orphan and later Black Bat

jason - same origin of stealing the batmobile’s tires at 12. he is three years younger than cass (15). damian (23) has been his own vigilante for years now so jason takes up the Batboy mantle (duke is 19, tim & steph are 17). he is killed by the joker at 15, and returns as Red Hood at 17

dick - same origin of parents death and bruce being at the circus. he is 9, jason is 13, cass is 16, tim & steph are 18, duke is 20, damian is 24. jason and cass are dick’s favorite siblings (and the only ones who still live in the manor). jason is Batboy, cass is Black Bat, tim is Rumor, steph is Spoiler, duke is Signal, and Damian is Leviathan. dick becomes Robin at 10

babs - dick’s friend from school, they’re on the mathlete team together. she is a year younger than him, but they are both very smart. has yet to get into the vigilante business but probably will eventually. knows dick is Robin. her and dick once hacked into the pentagon because they were bored. absolutely terrifying duo. they become friends in middle school- dick is 12, babs is 11

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guywrestlingaddiction · 3 days

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Everything Great About a Match: Evan Sterling v Leroy Blaze (bgeast.com)

Everything Great About this Match: +7

Evan Sterling v Leroy Blaze (bgeast.com)

SPOILER ALERT: I highly recommend viewing this match in its entirety before reading this post.

So let's begin: +1: The guys are hot and a point for their different body types. Wrestlers come in all shapes and sizes and it's great how the muscular Eye-catching Evan is balanced by cut lithe Leroy.

Leroy, built to stretch in any position.

Evan, built bigger to stretch out and manhandle said opponent.

Now if you thought you knew how this match would go simply by looking at them, well then, you would be wrong.

+1: For an even match with each man knowing how to accentuate their strengths. Evan is the big sexy brute powering his way to domination while Leroy is the equally sexy sprite, flinging his body around to great effect.

Flipin for the counter attack and you got to hand it to Leroy, the man can move.

Evan simply pulls Leroy off the mat and tosses him around like he weighs next to nothing

Those huge, muscular thighs are no joke, just ask Leroy

+1: For all the ab bashes. Evan looks like a towering heel, pounding against the razor thin Leroy. But don't count Leroy out, the guy knows how to dish out the punishment and is the man when it comes to selling all this. Hell, this deserves a bonus point [+1]

+1: The guys get sweaty. They definitely deserve a point for the all the effort they put into this match as the entire ring gets slick with sweat.

+1: This nice guy match slowly evolves as these two become more desperate for the win. Our two gentlemen begin by wrestling by the book to eventually pulling out all the stops in order to win.

Wrestling Green Flag: Holding the ropes open for your date, I mean opponent.

Well that changed quick! Evan: I don't care if you're on the ropes; You're mine!

Remember that shaking your opponents hand at the end is a sign of good sportsmanship; whether he's unconscious or not.

+1: I love a hard fought match untill exhaustion and this is it. The guys work hard and it shows not only in sweat but in that extra sense of effort that I just can't put my finger on. Sure both men are wobbly and stumble around the ring towards the end but there's something in the final minutes of the match that makes me feel 'these guys wanted to win badly' and gave it there all. Definitely deserves a point.

The guys are running on fumes and it's only a matter of time before one man breaks.

------- Everything Great About this Match: +7

So there you have it. While relatively newish to the ring by bgeast standards, both men are quickly working their way up the gay wrestling stable to new heights. It's perfect how they fought until they had nothing left and gave this match that extra something that makes gives gay wrestling so much heart and reminds me why I love this so much.

#gay wrestling #bgeast.com #Evan Sterling #Leroy Blaze

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agent-oo-z · 3 days

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Alright gaymers time for more BG3 companion headcanons! This time featuring my beloved Atavia!

Potential spoilers below, you’ve been warned!

Still no Minthara, I failed to rescue her during Atavia’s run

Halsin

Ultimate nature nerd buddies. Atavia and Halsin love just going full autism mode and discussing the nuances of plant identification/creature behavior/etc for hours on end.

Once Atavia and Halsin become a “thing” they are almost annoyingly in love. Constant pet names, lots of physical contact, getting distracted by each other. Astarion teases them about it relentlessly, not out of jealousy though. He’s not immune to envy but he trusts his partners to be open and honest and does his best to do the same.

Halsin and Astarion are less stereotypically lovey dovey with each other but only because Astarion shows his love by being a menace. He teases and makes jokes and gets all sarcastic. Halsin usually responds with sincerity, not because he doesn’t get it but because he enjoys the challenge of getting Astarion flustered. It doesn’t take long for the pair to develop a sixth sense about what’s going too far.

Astarion

Turns out having two(eventually three!) people who are willing to dedicate themselves to you heart and soul can be overwhelming, even when you want it more than anything. Astarion develops a “non sexual safe word” for moments when he needs to be left alone/given space. He usually only needs a moment to recenter.

Astarion ends up working with the society of brilliance and the Gur to study vampirism and search for a cure. Some of the spawn in the underdark volunteer to help test theories and potential cures. This involves everything from finding out what types of fabric/materials can be used to prevent sunlight from damaging their skin to studying potential non blood food sources. Astarion mostly works with his partners to search for artifacts like sunwalker rings and magical/alchemical cures.

Astarion is good with kids. Once he has time to rest and begin healing from his two centuries of trauma he finds that children don’t annoy/upset him as much anymore. Yenna lives with Halsin at moonrise and is especially fond of him, the pair often play together when he’s visiting.

Gale

Quickest way to his heart is to compliment his cooking. And not just “wow this is good!” compliments. The type that shows you actually noticed things like the unique seasonings or the plating.

Because he doesn’t divulge much about his personal life to his students and fellow professors he accidentally ends up the center of a minor scandal. Astarion makes a surprise appearance on campus during a stormy day to deliver Gale’s lunch(which he left at home) and kisses him in front of his morning class. Atavia had done the same on multiple occasions but was out of town at the time, so the students thought Gale was having an affair. Eventually another professor confronted Gale when Atavia surprised him at work(she had gotten home from her trip early) and Tavi just burst out laughing while Gale desperately tried to explain the situation. The next day Astarion and Tavi deliver his lunch together to put the rumors to bed.

Gale develops a whole host of modified and new spells after becoming a professor. This includes spells that allow for the indefinite storage and preservation of food(including blood), spells that allow individuals with sunlight sensitivity to go outside for up to 4 hours at a time during the day, and enchantments that can be applied to collars and armor that allow animals to speak with people. He also publishes certain spells anonymously, not exactly out of embarrassment but because he’s uncertain how it might impact his career. Basically all of them are modified spells for sexual encounters.

Wyll

After deciding to break his pact with Mizora, Wyll procures the prosthetic eye Volo has. He continues to use the sending stone eye up until he and Karlach enter the hells after the death of the netherbrain. Given he is no longer working for the cambion he “swaps” eyes and tosses the sending stone eye as far as he can.

He waits to propose to Karlach until about a month after her engine is stabilized. They’d been dating for a while at that point, but he didn’t want her to feel like she had to agree because he had helped with her engine. He also wanted time to prepare a proper elaborate fancy proposal because she deserves it. She says yes before he can even finish asking, he’s not even fully on one knee before she practically throws herself at him in a massive embrace.

When Tavi complements his skills as a ranger at the reunion party he almost explodes with joy. She’s one of the best ranger he’s worked with(the other being THE Minsc) so it truly means a lot.

Karlach

One of the few people that Tavi isn’t romantically involved with who is allowed to be super physical with her. Tavi isn’t opposed to friendly hugs and the like, but doesn’t do well with extended touch from those she’s not with. Karlach is just such a giant cuddly teddy bear that somehow Tavi doesn’t mind. She doesn’t even fully understand it herself. If Halsin or Astarion weren’t wrapped around her at camp it was Karlach in their place.

Once she’s able to permanently return to the material plane, Karlach becomes a legendary hero in her own right. She often joins her former companions when they go out on grand quests.

Karlach is called “Auntie Karlach” by the various offspring of the Tavi-cule. She’s the favorite of all the companions when it comes to baby sitting(at least for the children.) She loves kids of all ages, but especially enjoys spending time with those between the approximate ages of 7 to 10.

Lae’zel

Lae’zel eventually introduces her companions to Xan, the hatchling rescued from the crèche in the ruined monastery. Xan is just as fascinated by the material plane as his adopted mother was, and is delighted to interact with Tavi’s familiars and companion animals.

After the defeat of Vlaakith Lae’zel and Xan move in with Shadowheart. It was originally supposed to be just until Lae’zel could find her own place but turns out Shadowheart and Lae’zel are in fact very much in love still. Xan now has two moms.

Tavi helps Lae’zel learn about the courting practices of the sword coast so she can make her intentions clear to Shadowheart(and not at all because Lae’zel doesn’t want to fight her because the idea of causing her harm is deeply distressing) Lae’zel and Shadowheart do end up romantically sparring eventually, but it’s far less intense than standard Gith fighting.

Shadowheart

Before Lae’zel moves in, Shadowheart is a bit of a hermit. She makes time to visit her companions but otherwise spends her days tending to her animals and her gardens in relative solitude.

During her first visit to Waterdeep she joins the Tavi-cule for dinner. She ends up staying over because of how late into the night the conversation goes. The next morning she learns about Gale’s Modified Silence spell when joking that based on how disheveled Tavi looks she’s surprised she didn’t hear them. She asks Gale to make her some scrolls to take home, and encourages him to consider publishing them under a pseudonym.

Shadowheart and Astarion love to gossip. During the absolute adventure they would sneak away and chat in elvish to avoid being heard, and post adventure they keep up a correspondence. When they get together in person they can spend hours talking about the latest gossip while enjoying some good wine and snacks.

Jaheira

When Atavia is pregnant with her first child, Jaheira visits to give her advice and guidance. Most of it consists of “here’s how to not kill a baby” and “here are safe ways to manage your symptoms during and after pregnancy”. She helps Atavia and her partners set up a nursery in Gale’s tower because Tavi is worried about it looking nice while still being safe. She serves as a sort of safety auditor. Jaheira is also the “god mother” of all of the Tavi-cule children. She accepts on the condition she is never called anything like “granny.”

Jaheira often joins Tavi and Astarion(and whoever else is with them) when they go out searching for artifacts. She’s with them when they get their hands on a real sunwalker ring, the first time they find evidence of a cure for vampirism, and when they finally get their hands on the last thing needed for said cure. They start to jokingly call her a good luck charm.

She continues to work with the Harpers on and off. Geraldus is one of the few Harpers she genuinely enjoys working with and the two become good friends over time.

Minsc

Minsc is eventually able to communicate half decent information about the vampire cures Boo supposedly knows of. It’s one of those cures in particular that the Tavi-cule is able to find evidence of and actually create. And it works! Astarion complains about being indebted to a hamster, but privately thanks Minsc and Boo. Tavi is beside herself with pride for managing to pull it off despite the language barrier.

Minsc will randomly appear on the doorsteps of the various party members with no warning. He usually only stays for a day and rarely spends the night, but he always comes with unbelievable tales of his most recents adventures. He always makes an effort to visit after any of the party members have major life events to offer his support/congratulations/etc.

Atavia keeps a stash of Boo’s favorite treats on her person at all times. You never know when you’ll run into Minsc and she never wants to be caught unprepared.

BONUS: The Creatures

Scratch

Scratch goes to live with Alfira and Larkissa after the death of the netherbrain. Atavia makes an effort to stop by and say hello whenever she’s visiting the gate.

Owlbear Cub

Once the owlbear cub moves to the grove Atavia makes sure to bring some fancy smoked meats when she and Astarion visit to spend time with Halsin. She loves to curl up and nap with him under the sun.

Taking the form of a cat in the eyes of all but the former adventuring party and their loved ones, Us ends up living at Gale’s tower. Tara and Morena eventually allow it to join their tea parties. It doesn’t drink any tea of course.

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cinnamontails-ff · 2 days

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Why this is the perfect cover for "Accountant's Guide"

Alright, folks! It’s been a week of coming to terms with my overflowing emotions regarding this beautiful piece of cover art for the Ukrainian translation of Accountant’s Guide, and I am ready to wrestle it all into an essay.

Spoilers for the story ahead! It’s been finished since September 2023, so either read it here or proceed at your own risk!

First off, a huge, huge thank you to Marko_Wowchok for taking the time to translate my work and of course, the incredible @razinbee for creating a cover that, quite frankly, I could see as an ad for the next Studio Ghibli movie. You are both so very talented and your love and care for my story is so, so appreciated!

Now, as for the piece itself: Let’s start with the choice of showing just their hands, clasped intimately atop a piece of paper. It’s something I never would have come up with in a million years, but it’s absolutely genius. There’s a sense of subtlety to it. It leaves room for imagination because you don’t actually see what they’re doing; it’s simply implied that they’re most likely going at it on the desk (again). I love this. Because while I wrote Accountant’s Guide as a romance (and it does contain explicit spicy scenes), my goal was always to write Astarion and Scarlett as partners first and lovers second. I am really not a fan of romance stories that rely on physical attraction alone. Basically, if the story wouldn’t work with both of them being ugly, it’s not for me.

Astarion and Scarlett come together as reluctant allies at first. Scarlett offers him a deal to take out Cazador together and Astarion agrees mostly as a way of keeping himself entertained. He does not believe for a moment that she might actually succeed and he is actively planning to throw her to Cazador’s feet at the earliest convenience. But simply by working together, they start to grow closer over time.

Scarlett is the first person in centuries to treat him like a normal guy™. She is a very practical person - she has to be in order to willingly cooperate with the man who’s led her sister to her death. And while she isn’t immune to his flirting, she ignores it because she is painfully aware that he’s way out of her league and nothing good can ever come from that. It is only when she starts to see his vulnerable sides that she develops feelings for him and he, in turn, for her. At this point, however, they’ve both already saved each other’s lives several times. She has fed him when he was starving and he has slaughtered a bunch of guards that interrupted his poorly planned heist/date idea. They know each other, trust each other, rely on each other – they are a team in every sense of the word. When they do eventually share their first kiss in chapter 13, it is a powerful scene (if I do say so myself), but it is also really just one more layer to the bond that they have cultivated over the course of many months. Showing their clasped hands and nothing else is such a fantastic way to visualize the depth of their connection. It is a gesture of companionship and trust as well as intimacy and romance.

Then there is the positioning of their hands: Astarion’s on top of Scarlett’s, his fingers pinning her down, while her fingers are splayed out helplessly - dare I say, ecstatically. It is a stunning representation of their romantic dynamic. Astarion is the experienced, confident sex god who usually takes the lead, while Scarlett hasn’t done a whole lot of things before meeting him and is generally happy to go along with whatever he has in mind. He is her first. He is the one who shows her everything her body can do and he is careful in taking things step by step, working her up from missionary to slightly kinkier stuff all the way to her sitting on his face in “Pocket Money”. His hand on top of hers, holding her and guiding her, is a beautiful depiction of that.

At the same time, I like how the tenseness of his fingers in contrast to her more relaxed posture indicates how much he clings to her. After two centuries of being Cazador’s slave, Scarlett is literally the first time Astarion has anything that is his own. She is his first genuine connection, a lover he’s picked for himself, as well as his savior in helping to break him free from Cazador. He is terrified of losing her, so much so that he even tries to convince her to let him turn her into a vampire, so she won’t die before him. None of that is a perfectly healthy relationship dynamic, mind you, but who could expect that from him after what he’s been through? She is his lifeline. His anchor. The one glimmer of hope in two centuries and this man is ready to eviscerate any vampire lord, spawn, or magic teacher (sorry, Gale!) who so much as threatens to come in between them.

I also want to shout out how the softness and subtlety of their clasped hands reflects how their relationship has to unfold in secret. The second half of Accountant’s Guide lives off the tension of them plotting their plan B while living under the same roof as Cazador, both of them bound to him in different ways. They are in his house, their every move under constant scrutiny by Cazador as well as his spawn, and one wrong step could be the end for both of them. Those are absolutely cruel circumstances to be building a relationship in. Astarion has to make up lies to Cazador as to how he has gained access to a more regular blood supply. He has to pretend to be disgusted with her, so Cazador will continue to send him to comfort her, not one of the other spawn. Scarlett has to hide her bite marks and (awkwardly) flirt her way out of Cazador’s attempts at getting closer to her. There’s a sense of powerlessness to their situation that makes the intimate scenes they get even more special to both of them. I am generally a fan of subtlety, a big proponent of “less is more”, and I couldn’t be happier with how this is conveyed in the simplicity of their clasped hands on the desk.

Finally, the ink and fountain pen. Fountain pens have accidentally become one of my defining characteristics as a writer and I am not at all mad about it. I love heroines who succeed through cleverness and tenacity rather than Strong Female Character syndrome™. When I designed Scarlett, I really wanted someone who would throw Astarion for a loop. Someone he’d have no clue what to do with, someone so different from him and his reality, her every word would cause a flood of error messages in his precious brain. I wanted someone down to earth, someone who would play off him and make all his silly lines sound even sillier - and I wanted someone who’d be able to free him from Cazador through nonconventional and meme-worthy means.

And so I made her an accountant.

I have spoken about this before, but I hail from a family full of accountants. My research for this fic was every single family dinner I have ever attended. I love the ridiculousness of defeating a vampire lord through tax fraud because it plays on the inherent arrogance of Cazador. He is immensely powerful, physically as well as in his social influence, but he, too, can be brought down by a very diligent, very detail-oriented accountant who can demonstrate just how much money he owes the government, thus motivating them to step the fuck up and put him behind bars. It’s the epitome of the (fountain) pen being mightier than the sword. Scarlett is a character who has been underestimated her entire life and she doesn’t really mind it because when the time is right, she knows she can brandish her fountain pen and show everyone what’s what. She has a very quiet, unassuming type of power about herself that I have seen in the many badass accountants in my family and I love how this is reflected in the fountain pen, the ink pot, and of course the infamous ink stains on her fingers. Scarlett does not care about the ink on her fingers – she cares about getting shit done. And I love her for it. And Astarion loves her for it. But he will use every chance he gets to tear her off her work and bend her over the desk because he is also absolutely crazy about her.

This piece is sexy without being graphic. It is beautifully intimate and soft, yet still holds that tension between the two of them with Astarion holding on to her as hard as he possibly can and Scarlett practically melting at his every touch. It shows how a very unassuming, very mundane pencil pusher went and took down the immortal vampire lord with nothing but her mind and her fountain pen (and, well, math magic). The simplicity of it all is what really kicks me in the gut, I think. Because their love is simple at its core. It’s inevitable from the moment they first strike their deal in chapter 4. They don’t have a lot of grand gestures or epic fight scenes (the only fight scene is largely taken care of by The Gang as Astarion is stuck to the floor and Scarlett goes one-on-one versus Laiara). Even their love confessions are quiet and unassuming. They just grow together in a way that has always felt very natural to me and then they hold on and weather it all together until they emerge on the other side, together.

This piece hits right into the core of my story and I couldn’t be happier to see something so beautiful emerge from what I have created. Thank you. I will treasure this forever.

- Cin

#my writing #geeking out over stunning fanart #astarion x oc #astarion x female oc #bg3 astarion #astarion #cinnamontails

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