#taylor swift has finally lost it you heard it first here

[quinnylouhughesx43]

Peter

based off of Taylor Swift’s song from The Tortured Poets Department

warning: a bit sad, longing for ex-lover, use of y/n

Ethan Edwards x fem!Reader

summary: Ethan and reader childhood friends —> lovers —> break up —> reader heartbreakingly waiting for his return.

author’s note: the photos are intended to tell the story them growing up. the last last picture are two quotes from the book “better than the movies” by Lynn Painter. (can be found on Amazon, books a million, barnes & noble, etc. links were too long to post)

Ethan and (y/n)’s older childhood friends always joked the two would fall in love one day. It was always a big laugh between the two of you because what business do 8 year olds have thinking about love?

In a blink of an eye you’re dancing at your end of the year eighth grade formal together, your heart has never reacted the way it was at that specific moment. Confused and a bit scared you kept your head staring at the floor while your hands were firmly placed on Ethan’s shoulders. His hands placed awkwardly on your waist. He cleared throat and paused both of your movements. “Hey (y/n)? Can I do something and you promise you not get mad if you don’t like it? We can just forget about it after if it’s weird.” His words were rushed and hands shaking. Your eyes connected with his, a slight nod yes to confirm you were okay with whatever it was he was asking for. As if the world moved in slow motion and no one else was in the school’s lobby, where the formal was happening but the two of you, Ethan ducked his head down just the few inches he needed to in order to give a quick kiss.

The first kiss for both of you.

Awkward, yet not weird for either of you. The beginning of what turned into a long beautiful journey. Until it wasn’t beautiful.

꧁꧂

“(Y/N) I am so tired of this repetitive argument. It happens over and over. I got accepted to Michigan and I got a scholarship for hockey. Their program is notorious for building up their athletes and getting them drafted. Drafted! You’ve known since we were kids that the NHL is what I wanted for myself.” Ethan tried to keep himself composed until he couldn’t. His desire, compassion, and dedication to chasing his dream often overshadowed his love and dedication to you. His childish mannerisms peaking through. “I just want to know where I fit into this plan? This future of yours.” You tried to keep your voice strong and unwavering but just like each time before the lump in your throat prevented you from even being able to breathe properly.

He sat down on the edge of your bed. Quiet minutes passed before he finally spoke again. “Maybe there isn’t an us in the future..” His words are so quiet you aren’t sure if you heard him correctly. “E?” You whimpered. Tears streaming one after the other. He didn’t look at you right away. Knowing if he did his resolve would shatter.

Taking a deep breath, starting over. Looking at you after a couple minutes had passed by and leaning over to wipe your cheeks dry. “I know this is going to be hard to hear. It’s killing me to even say it. It killed me to even think about it recently. I’m going to be gone for a long time for school. I won’t be returning home. My parents will be coming there over the holidays. It will be easier with training. I can’t ask you to sit here while you’re going to school yourself and be tied to me. Especially when we will never see each other. Neither of us have the money for traveling to and from. I’ve been so physically sick thinking about leaving you. We’ve only argued since I decided but honey this is what’s best for me and my dreams. I’m sorry I’m being so selfish but I can’t pass this up. If I stay here I take a chance at never having an opportunity at the NHL at least I know I’ll have an opportunity there.” Your tears stopped at some point. Sadness turned to numbness. Lost to the words he was saying.

“(Y/N/N). I can go and grow up while I’m gone. Get drafted. Or not. Then I’ll come find you if you’re still single. . We can live our dreams then. I just can’t ask you to sit here and be miserably alone.” Pressing a quick kiss to your forehead he left your house. That was the last thing he said to you in person. You didn’t see him again before he left. He tried but you declined. Not wanting to hurt anymore than you already were.

꧁꧂

You just watched Ethan’s NHL debut with the New Jersey Devil two weeks ago. Pride swelled in your heart for him but heartbreak also overtook you. He never came back for you. You’re both 24 now, he could’ve come back after college since he was drafted pre-degree but he never did. Since ‘goodbye for now’ turned into ‘goodbye’ you sat down at your desk and started writing him a letter. You were going to mail it to his mom’s house. She can mail it to him.

Dear Ethan,

I hoped you'd return with your feet on the ground, tell me all that you'd learned because love is never lost when perspective is earned and you said you would come and get me, but we were only 17. My shelf life on the fantasies has expired. Please forgive me, Ethan, I really tried to hold on to the days you were mine. But the young girl turned into a woman who sits by her window has turned out the light.

You said you were going to grow up and you were going to come find me. Promises that were oceans deep, but never to keep.

Sincerely,

(Y/N)

Little did you know he was back in town at his parents’ house and received the letter himself. He was there to see you. He was back for you now that he was settled and could care for you both properly. But he was too late. You had shut the door on him. You stopped supporting him quietly. Stopped following the scores of the games and watching. . Ethan played the rest of the season terribly, not having his number fan, supporter there. It didn’t matter if he knew or not that she was always cheering him on. It just solidified for him, he no longer had his rock. His reason for being. That he fucked up all those years ago. That he no longer had a reason for what he thought was his dream. His dream was really your dreams. He wanted the future you wanted with him and now he will never have it all because of his selfishness back at 17.

#ethan edwards #umich hockey #umich fic #umich imagine #y/n #ethan edwards x reader #ethan edwards x y/n #Ethan Edwards fic #Ethan Edwards blurb #hockey fic #hockey blurb #cay writes #cays masterlist #nhl #new writers on tumblr #new jersey devils #nj devils #nj devils fic #hockey

[scarletwinterxx]

oh no i'm falling in love again - mark lee scenario

hi! i'm still in a bit of a writer's block hence the slow uploads but I do take note of any requests made, so if you have any just send them to me😊 hope you like this one.

Song inspo: Labyrinth - Taylor Swift

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

"I like your long hair"

"Sorry what was that?"

"Huh?" you blinked back at him, acting as if you never said anything. Afraid he heard your words earlier, you just shook your head in response.

"Oh sorry I thought you said something, anyways should we get the waffles with ice cream or cookies with ice cream?" Mark asks you, while his gaze returns to the menu board in front of you

"Cookies and ice cream please" you answer, smiling up at him even though he can't see you. It seems like you can't keep your eyes off of him, and if you keep this going you're going to be in big big trouble.

And that's how you found yourself sitting on the living room couch at 2am in the morning, too lost in your thoughts and a sleepy Taeyong walking out of his room.

Taeyong's soul almost left his body when he finally saw your figure sitting in the middle of the living room this late at night, "Geez, what are you doing sitting out here?"

"Can't sleep"

Taeyong walks to the kitchen to grab what he came out here for, a bottle of water. Grabbing another for you before walking back to the living room to sit beside you.

"Something bothering you?" he asks

"Mark"

Your brother just chuckles at your answer, already having an inkling as to why you're here sleepless over the boy.

"And what about Mark?"

"Has he always been that likeable?" you ask, taking your frustrations out on the bottle cap. Inserting more effort than needed, almost crushing the top of the bottle.

"I mean I guess, he's always been the head boy kinda guy you know. Never turned a homework late, he helps the elderly cross the street. I think he really is spiderman" he jokes, you let out a light laugh

"But I think that's not what you meant with your question, do you perhaps like him?" he adds the question, seeing you whip your head towards him so fast

"Me??? Wha- I - NO" you stuttered, and that was enough of an answer for your brother to understand just what's happening.

"Okay, so you weren't totally thinking about your little hangout today?" he smiles at you, as the big brother he should be saying something along the lines of 'stay away from boys' but he can see how the smile never leaves your face whenever Mark enters the same room as you.

"No, I wasn't. We just got ice cream" you mumbled

"Oh okay, just ice cream"

That was the first time you really really considered you might have feelings for your friend. You brushed it off, sweeping your feelings under the rug.

The second time came in stronger than the first, you almost thought you were going to fold and give in then and there.

It was when you were hanging out with other friends, just talking and catching up. Haechan was telling a story then Mark butts in with a joke only funny to him and apparently to you. It was one of those moments when everyone went quiet while you continued on laughing making everyone turn to you with a mixture of looks.

Karina looks over at you with a confused look, the same as Jeno and Renjun. Haechan looked at you with disbelief on his face, not believing you really think Mark's joke is funny. While Mark was just staring at you, a small smile tugging at the ends of his lips while listening to you giggle from across him.

When you stopped and looked up, everybody was looking at you. Feeling conscious under everyone's gaze, your cheeks feeling warmer and warmer by the second.

"What?" you ask, "Nothing, you just-" Haechan was about to say something when Mark cuts him off

"Anyone wants pizza?" Mark suddenly asks, catching the attention this time. You silently thank him for that. The guys immediately shouting their orders, meanwhile Karina nudges you on the side

"What was that?" she whispers

"Huh? What?"

"That little moment with Mark?"

"What moment?" you asked back, "You were the only one laughing and he was sitting there looking at you like you're the one who hung up the stars in his sky"

"It was funny"

"Is it? Was the joke really funny or are you just in love with Mark?"

Karina's question bounced inside your mind for the next days to come. So many times, many many times you told yourself no. You don't like Mark. He's just a friend.

But then you see him and suddenly it's like your favorite song plays in the background, the sun shines a little brighter, everything feels warm and cozy.

"Hey there you are, I was looking for you" you didn't even notice Mark, too lost in your own thoughts you didn't notice him approach you.

"You were?"

"Yea, want to go grab ice cream? or coffee? You look a bit down" he says, before you could answer though he hold his hand up. Inching closer to you, he then takes the hair that fell on your face tucking it behind your ear with a smile.

And just like that, you knew.

Just like that you realize you're falling in love.

"Earth to Y/N?" he says, tilting his head sideways with a hint of worry in his eyes

"Sorry, I'm just distracted these past few days"

"Penny for your thoughts?" he ask with a crooked smile making you fall a little bit more.

"What do you do when you realize you like someone but you can't tell them?" you ask back

Mark didn't expect that question, wondering who got you thinking like that. Do you like someone? Are you that unsettled with your feelings that you look so stressed about it

He brushes of his own thoughts to focus on you, "Well, I guess I'll just go and tell them. Shoot my shot" he chuckles at the last part knowing full well he's not the one to shoot any shot at all.

"Easy for you to say, everybody likes you" you mumble

"Everybody?" Mark teases you, trying to break the tension

"I mean you know you're easy to like" with each word coming out of your mouth you know you're just digging yourself into a deeper hole

"Am I?" he raises a brow at you, teasing you further

"This conversation is not going anywhere, you're just teasing me now"

"Hey no come back, I was just playing" he holds you back by your wrist, effectively halting your step. He looks up at you with those eyes you always seem to get lost into.

"It's not hard to like especially when it's you. You're kind, responsible, humble. Even your jokes are funny"

That's how Mark knew you liked him. No one will say he's funny, Jisung maybe but only on a good day. This made him realize you're talking about him, fighting back the smile about to break out on his face.

"Only you would think my jokes are funny"

"They are!"

He laughs at your answer, standing up so this time you're the one looking up at him.

"When I like someone, I just want to spent lots of time with them. I would ask her to hang out with me after class, get some ice cream after a long day or walk with her home while she rants about her professor who gave her a B in this exam she studied so hard for. I'd make the stupidest joke even though no one else finds it funny but her because her laugh makes it worth it"

It took a good few moments to get what he was saying, while Mark just waits for you to get there. Smiling fondly at you.

The moment you do get it, he knew

"Oh"

"Yea"

"Oh wow uhm" you can't really find the words to say so he helps you out, giving you the time to collect yourself.

"You don't have to say anything, no rush. I like the way we are right now, and if what I think you're thinking right now is right then that's good. I feel the same way, so don't be too in your head worrying over nothing. It's just me, you can tell me anything"

"Anything"

"Was that a joke?"

"Sorry I was trying to lighten the mood" you say, Mark finding you so adorable he had to stop himself from scooping you up in his arms right now.

"How about we get some ice cream?" he asks you, holding out his hand for you to take. It makes you wonder just how you fell so easily, then you remember who you fell for and every thing made sense.

#fics #tag #story #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct au #nct oneshot #mark lee #mark imagine #mark fluff #nct fluff #nct boyfriend #mark oneshot #mark lee oneshot #mark lee au #mark lee boyfriend #nct recommended #nct reads

[exotic-afterhours]

Florida!!!

Warnings: implied cheating,running away,and smut nothing in detail

Florida is the best place to get away after getting divorced you could say I'd never guessed this would happen, we were happy or so I thought but I was not enough for him I needed more he was selfish, greedy, spiteful, and cruel but I stay till I couldn't look at myself in the mirror or look my mother in the eye. I needed an out it was hard he tried to take everything from me but I wouldn't let him. But since the divorce was finalized he hasn't been seen but nobody questions it. I have never felt freer than I am now the sand on my feet with the warm beach water is a breath of fresh air “Destin, Florida” I say in a quiet tone like it was a weight off my shoulders. All my friends are having kids or sticking with their old ways of smoking weed. As I lay in the sand basking in the warm sun I heard my phone ring with the name of the contact in bold lettering “You ran from Australia for another beach but in Florida” is the first thing I hear when our lines connect “Yes.. I did Felix” I say with a sigh “You’ll find someone new too,” he said with sympathy in his voice “I know, I'm gonna let you go lix we’ll talk again soon I promise,” I say as we said our goodbyes I hang up and power off my phone. 

I see a figure walking over to me he wasn't too tall but he was well-built and had a good amount of muscle on him. I can see him walking over to me “Hi” he said with a smile “Hello?” I said confused “Chris I saw you and thought you were beautiful and wanted to talk to you!” he said cheerfully, it's been a while since someone has told me I was beautiful years you could say “Well thank you, Chris, I'm —” I say looking up at him as he's still standing, “do you want to get dinner with me? You do not have to I would understand since we just me,” he said starting to ramble. “Yeah I see no problem with me having dinner with you, also are you Australian?” I ask hearing a strong-ish accent laced in his voice. “ yes I am in here on a small getaway I’ll give you my number” he said with a smile.

I walked into the restaurant Chris had picked out, I found him and sat down we ordered drinks and our food and kept the small talk going and getting to know each other. It was innocent or it was until I found myself undressed in his bed, his hands rubbing up and down my sides gently kissing my shoulder and chest. It was soft and kind as if he knew me and my body like it was the back of his hand. I could feel chills come over my body “fuck me up, Florida” I think to myself. His touch feels like something ive been longing for what ive been missing all my life. “I'll use it up like a drug”. This is the best ive felt in years its pure euphoria when we kiss and when our hips meet. 

This was just a small idea I got and wanted to work on before I lost the motivation but here’s a small one-shot no beta read so kinda shity

(Banner credits to: @cafekitsune )

#🕷️.writes #bang chan #bang chan x reader #x reader #bang chan smut #skz x reader #oneshot #Spotify

[foxes-that-run]

Now that we don't talk

In the 2012-2014 timeline our girl went through it in the space a week. It’s like an emotional advent calendar and we get the prizes:

Sunday:  Harry misses his flight because he didn’t have his passport. Keep Driving: “Passports in foot wells”

Monday: New Year’s Eve 2012 – The world’s most public kiss

Tuesday:  New Year’s Day & they leave for the Virgin Islands

Wednesday: Taylor's hair pinned up for Right where you left me

Thursday: (maybe) Maroon's hickie & the wine soaked dress

Friday: Taylor's boat trip Say don’t go and Is it Over now?

Saturday (maybe) From the Dining Table, then Harry goes to Richard Branson’s island …and that’s what you missed on Glee.

Update: Thank you @this-daydream-is-dangerous-13 and their ace detective skills, NTWDT is copyrighted 2014, so updated here, the old post is here.

In the voice memo Taylor says:

Now that we don't talk is one of my favorite songs that was left behind it was so hard to leave it behind but I think we wrote it a little bit towards the end of the process and we couldn't get the production right at the time. I think it's the shortest song I've ever had but I think it packs a punch I think it really goes in for the short amount of time we have I think it makes its point.

The last tracks were between January 2014 (Say don't go) and 19 February 2014 (Style).

The period they didn't talk was a minimum of 3 weeks to the NRG awards, in HYGTG she said 6 months which is June.

For context, Harry was 18 and it appears all he did was post photos in a hot tub. It was a s***ty thing to do, but when the song was finally written they were freshly back together and he wrote Stockholm Syndrome with:

"Who's this man that's holding your hand and talking 'bout your eyes? (Oh-oh-oh) / Used to sing about being free but now he's changed his mind (Oh-oh-oh)"

From then he was then a giggling BF he's adopting kittens and continued to sing about her eyes for another 10 years.

Lyrics [Verse 1] You went to a party I heard from everybody You part the crowd like the Red Sea Don't even get me started Did you get anxious though On the way home? I guess I'll never, ever know Now that we don't talk

She did hear from everybody, it was huge news.

'Did you get anxious on the way home' got me in the feels, in New Years Day she talked of him squeezing her hand three times in the backseat to say it will be OK. This breaks my heart so much to think that song and this are about 1 week.

[Verse 2] You grew your hair long You got new icons And from the outside It looks like you're tryin' lives on I miss the old ways You didn't have to change But I guess I don't have a say Now that we don't talk

2 weeks after Taylor left on a boat, Harry acquired his Butterfly Tattoo on 22 January. A week later they saw each other for the first time on 27th January at the NRG Awards in Paris. The Cannes sunset photos are from the hotel they both stayed in. Part 2 of also within a week:

[Chorus] I call my mom, she said that it was for the best Remind myself, the morе I gave, you'd want me less I cannot bе your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost, now that we don't talk

Bless Andrea Swift all she has given this world, most especially for comforting Taylor when 18 year old’s pop stars hang out with billionaires. Everytime I hear this I imagine Andrew saying "put it in a song!"

They later did bury the hatchet People now reports them as friends. They have also sung about their chemistry in relation to that friendship though in Delicate, nice to have a friend and Fine Line. [Verse 3] What do you tell your friends we Shared dinners, long weekends with? Truth is, I can't pretend it's Platonic, it's just ended, so

Harry and Taylor shared (and continued to) share a lot of friends, to me this line is similar to Maroon where she refers to Rubies she gave up, the Junior Jewels shirt refers to her friends as jewels.

Taylor and Harry go on to have a discography just about this very line, can they be friends when they have such great chemistry? I have a list in Glitch

[Outro] I don't have to pretend I like acid rock Or that I'd like to be on a mega yacht With important men who think important thoughts Guess maybe I am better off now that we don't talk And the only way back to my dignity Was to turn into a shrouded mystery Just like I had been when you were chasing me Guess this is how it has to be now that we don't talk

Harry has diverse music tastes, but does love Pink Floyd and has a Grateful Dead ring he wears often.

To me the shrouded mystery line is a mystery, Taylor was ending the Red World Tour and later in the year embarked on the most active publicity of her career and 1989 World Tour, but in the moment I guess. She and Harry did not speak for some months, by the end of the year they were saying they were on good terms and based on later songs we know were back together before the end of 2013

#haylor #now that we don’t talk #1989 taylor's version #taylor swift #1989

[why-so-serious-lucifer]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Jonghyun

Since this is a very special review, I wanted to start off not with my “credentials” or with a disclaimer but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet. In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than Jonghyun was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated, and I became depressed. And just three weeks later, on December 18th, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard him mentioned, through Yeri of RV, but had never taken the time to listen, and I finally did.

I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli and Hara, and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit, I think I have depression.” And I started taking medication. Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but I try to continue what he did for me. But all I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. So, in this review, I’m trying to do all three, and I’d love it if you came along with me.

Crazy (Guilty Pleasure) is first on the list, and immediately had me feeling nostalgic. There’s something about his voice that’s so instantly recognizable, and a song like this that oscillates between his more subdued style and the strong emotions of the chorus fits it so well. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the rap, probably because of the vocalizing behind it, which helped it blend in seamlessly. On the whole, I liked this one! Its strings and immaculate sense of drama reminded me of Taylor Swift’s Don’t Blame Me.

Deja Boo begins with Jonghyun’s classic sound of smooth R & B and his crooning voice. I enjoyed the constant starting and stopping of the instrumental, as it made what could be a boring song far more interesting, and while I’m not usually a fan of rapping or choruses so heavy on vocalizing, I actually liked both here, since they felt like they were there because they fit the song and not because someone thought that they “should” be. The “Okay, next” at the end gave me a good chuckle

It’s a testament to how strong this first EP is that, before this deep dive, I had no idea which of these songs were actually the title track. Beautiful Tonight’s distinctive whistling hook, Hallelujah’s beautiful gospel choir back-up, and Love Belt’s gentle words (and references to a real car accident that Jonghyun was in) all do something unique with what could be such simple R & B melodies, ensuring that the piece feels cohesive but never same-y. My favorite was definitely Neon, though, whose funky catchiness snuck up on me, and I ended up replaying it twice.

End Of A Day has always been one of my favorite singles of Jonghyun’s, and I’m not alone. There are few songs as heartfelt, and led by only his quiet, comforting voice and a gentle piano, it feels like a warm hug from someone you love. Telling the listener to “lean on my shoulder” and “let me cheer you up”, it features Jonghyun at perhaps his most earnest. I paused what I was doing for a few minutes just to appreciate the peace that this one radiates, and take a deep breath in and out.

The Collection “Story Op.1” is so called because it was written by Jonghyun based on the stories the listeners of his radio show Blue Night confided in him; it’s a very special album for that reason, because it truly feels like a group effort between him and fans. I enjoyed U & I’s sprightly piano, interesting percussion, and cozy guitar, Diphylleia Grayi’s gorgeously sad lyrics and strings, the falling rain sound effects and comfortable energy of 02:34 (which I think was my favorite), and the interpolated phone conversation in Maybe Tomorrow. This is one of my favorite albums of his, and has some of his most excellent imagery.

She Is, despite being super popular, is not a song of his I’ve listened to much. It leans more into funk and is lighter than his other singles (Crazy, End Of Day, Lonely, and Shinin’), being about having a crush. It’s a nice break from the sadder and darker aspects of his discography, and it’s also really catchy. I even liked the sing-talk aspects, though my favorite part was definitely the vocalizing in the post-choruses.

From the She Is album, I liked the “you, you, you” and finger-snapping in White T-Shirt, the ethereal quality of Moon, the layers of falsetto vocalizing in Aurora, the intentional vocal fry and minimalistic background of Cocktail, the sped-up quality of Red, and the vulnerability in Suit Up.

I admit that when listening to the She Is album, a part of me had forgotten the reason I was doing this review in the first place, but Lonely had me remember immediately. Lonely is, in hindsight, both gut wrenching and haunting, with its lyrics about feeling isolated and alone. It’s a beautiful song, don’t get me wrong—the piano is so lovely and Taeyeon and Jonghyun’s voices work beautifully together, each making the other sound richer—but it’s one of those tracks that you just can’t listen to more than once in a while.

The Collection “Story Op.2” follows where the first collection left off, with more stories inspired by the callers on his radio show. I enjoyed the calm guitar of 1000 and the gentle groove of Just Chill, but Let Me Out has been one of my favorite songs since the first time I heard it. It’s one of the most genuine, gripping, painfully open k-pop ballads I’ve seen, and it never fails to make me want to reach through the screen and say “No.”. Overall, though, this album is definitely a more subdued and peaceful album, although I might be imagining more melancholy with the benefit of hindsight.

Less than eight months after the release of his second collection was, again, December 18th, 2017. It’s a day that’s become so infamous that in the k-pop community just saying “December 18th” will likely get your message across. It gives me no joy to say that he had a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he left the world; a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough.

Shinin’ is the single from the album, and uses a glowing, minimalistic electronic synth background that expands with some percussion in its choruses. Jonghyun’s voice is at some of its smoothest here. It’s one of those songs that’s happy and sad at the same time, and its happiness feels…muted? It’s hard not to be emotional when the song ends with “always be with you, you, you.” Without the story behind it, it’s a simple love song. With it, it’s a promise that he’s managed to keep for the last six years. I do admit that I got a good laugh out of the super 80’s animation, though.

Before Our Spring wasn’t intended to be a single, but after his passing, SM Entertainment decided to make it a tribute video for him. It follows in the footsteps of End Of Day, as it’s a peaceful, piano-led ballad, but undeniably heartbreaking: “Before spring comes, before the sun rises, I’ll meet you when everyone is asleep. I’m okay, don’t worry, spring will come to me too.” I hope it does. Depending on the day, sometimes I listen to it and feel comforted, and sometimes I listen to it and just feel heartbroken. Thankfully, watching it with the video made it just a little easier. It’s good to hear him laugh.

Poet | Artist is Jonghyun’s last, posthumous album, and is one of his strongest. I loved the disco-y synths of Only One You Need, the tongue-in-cheek humor of #Hashtag, the chorus’ explosion in Grease, the ethereal encouragement in Take The Dive, the brighter and funkier delivery of Sightseeing, and the quietly anthemic quality of Just For A Day.

My top 5 songs from Jonghyun are End Of Day, Only One You Need, Take The Dive, Hallelujah, and U & I, with Neon and Let Me Out as honorable mentions. Jonghyun’s work gets a 9.25 out of 10 from me, which is probably about as surprising as TWICE announcing a comeback. In all seriousness though, I know that I’m super biased, but hey, we started with a sob story and that’s how we’re going to end.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this review. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. As Jonghyun wrote in his book (which I haven’t been able to find a full English translation of yet, but I’m still trying), “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, and his advocacy. Both our community and the world as a whole was very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing who he was at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. All this is to say, he did very, very well.

I’ll be taking a break next week because it’s the holidays, so I’ll see you again in the new year for a girl group, folks. Thank you so much for reading, and please, take care. Tschüss, und Fröhliche Weihnachten (Happy Holidays)!

#k-pop #review #k-pop deep dive #k pop boy groups #Jonghyun #SHINee #Onew #Taemin #Minho #key #shining #Shinin #let me out #lonely #end of day #she is #depression #tw: suicide mention #Spotify

[mothgardens]

it is 2am and i am feeling so much sam winchester love rn so here is a list of taylor swift songs i think resonate with him:

1. Anti-Hero

I feel as tho all the lyrics work towards his character.

Mr. Samuel “It’s me, Hi, I’m the problem it’s me… everybody agrees,” Winchester

I should not be left to my own devices -> Dean constantly implies that Sam shouldn’t be left to figure things out on his own. He does this so much that Sam actually confronts him about it, multiple times.

I wake up screaming from dreaming -> Sam used to wake up from his visions freaked the hell out.

The second verse is also very fitting; he always felt like a freak or monster compared to everyone else.

2. Clean

DEMON BLOOD !!!!!!

I think it works really well for his addiction arc because the song is about toxic relationships (aka RUBY).

The drought being the worst -> Being locked in Bobby’s panic room.

The flowers that we grown together died of thirst -> The powers that grew and developed during his addiction and slowly disappeared when he was sobering.

I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing -> Sam was shouting and banging for hours down in the panic room and no one came to check on him until he was quiet.

Ten months older, I wont give in. Now that i’m clean, I’m never gonna risk it -> He never went back

3. Nothing New

Honestly, the whole reason this song is on the list is because of the lyric:

How can a person know everything at 18, but nothing at 22 -> Sam left for Stanford at 18. That was his first taste of freedom; it was his first time deciding something for himself. He was his own person. He had finally escaped. But, then at 22, Dean came and brought him back in. Jess dies. Everything feels lost again.

In general, I think Sam has lost of teenage girl vibes to him tho. This is probably self projection, but I think its true and this is MY analysis so <3.

4. My Tears Ricochet

This song is about Sam and John’s Stanford fight, and general dynamics that they share.

This one is going to get it’s own in depth, dedicated post <3 but some highlights are:

Even on my worst day, did i deserve, all the hell you gave me -> Sam was a child. No matter how arrogant or frustrating he could be, John should have never been so harsh on him. Telling your kid to never come back just because he wants to go to college is INSANE.

And I can go anywhere I want, just not home -> THIS LINE IS SO AHHHHHHH SAMMY.

Cursing my name, wishing i stayed -> John. John. John. Cursing Sam to never return, while simultaneously wishing he had never left.

Cause when I’d fight you used to tell me I was brave -> Parallel, John telling Sam he being brave on a hunt VS John condescendingly saying Sam was being brave for standing up to him.

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same -> John realizing that Sam might have to die if nothing changes. John giving that responsibility to Dean by giving his life for Dean’s; selfless selfishness.

5. Mirrorball

Mr. Samuel “And when I break, it’s in a million pieces” Winchester

I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me -> Sam continuously tries to do his best under every circumstance. Even though most of the people around him have such little faith in him. He won’t stop trying.

And I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why -> His faith is God and the stereotypical Christian religion in general throughout the series fascinates me. He has very little reason to keep his faith, but he does. Even in later seasons, I think it was s11, when he prays and believes that Lucifer’s visions are actually messages from God.

I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try try try -> Sam doesn’t actually know what he is doing. He uses his training, but that only can get you so far in mental battles with Lucifer or physical battles with God. He does what he thinks is right. He just wants to help.

6. This Is Me Trying

This is also in the works of developing its own post. Highlights include:

I didn’t know if you’d care if i came back, i have a lot of regrets about that -> Sam never got to know if Dean wanted him back. All that time spent at Stanford he had to wonder if his father and brother actually missed him or not.

Could’ve followed my fears all the way down -> This just screams Lucifer trauma to me

THEY TOLD ME ALL MY CAGES WERE MENTAL, SO I GOT WASTED LIKE ALL MY POTENTIAL -> *violently screams and shakes* The visions, Demon blood, Hallucifer, literally anytime Sam is struggling it is brushed off as him being too worked up about it. Dean literally COMPLAINED to Bobby about how much work it was that Sam was mentally ill. LIKE DUDE.

AND MY WORDS SHOOT TO KILL WHEN IM MAD, I HAVE A LOT OF REGRETS ABOUT THAT -> Sam does say shit that is hurtful. He does shit that is bad. It’s usually out of frustration from someone else’s actions towards him. AKA it’s usually towards Dean, when Dean belittles him.

pouring out my heart to a stranger, BUT I DIDNT POUR THE WHISKEY -> Sam vs Dean (this is NOT me belittling Dean’s alcoholism bc i get he has an issue)

That this is me trying, AT LEAST IM TRYING -> Again, Sam is just doing his best.

And it’s hard to be at a party when I when i feel like an open wound -> Sam has to just behave and go through his life normally even when he is struggling with abandonment, addiction, 180 years of every abuse imaginable and unimaginable, guilt, and just so much suffering.

It ’s hard to be anywhere when all i want is you, you’re a flashback -> Sam’s feelings about Jess. I constantly think about that scene in the impala when he tells Dean that he still thinks about her. It had been like twelve or more years. Its so painful.

—

please excuse my typos

i am yet but just a girl

<3

#im so insane about sam #i lovelovelove his character #i don’t understand people who don’t #i am such a sam fan i cannot understand hating him #supernatural #sam winchester #spn #castiel #please talk to me about supernatural #dean winchester #sabriel #sastiel #chuck shurley #sammy #sam winchester to me is pspsps to cats #sam spn #sam antis are crazy <3 #sam and dean #taylor swift and supernatural #sam girl #sam posts #sam winchester hurts me #jared padalecki

[alargehunkofdebris]

My Horrifically Indulgent Good Omens 2 Angstageddon Playlist

If you’re anything like me, you’re going through the bizarre Twilight Zone of realizing that all those songs you indulgently listened to with a grain of salt can canonically apply to these two dimwits now. And if you’re anything like me, you drove to work in sleep-deprived hysterics as you listened to these absolutely angst-sodden songs that completely, undeniably, without a doubt, legally apply. Nothing is too much, all fair game, no question, no remorse, no napkin. It’s Angstageddon, babes, and the only reason “Angel With A Shotgun” isn’t here is because it’s too happy and optimistic.

Anyway, my musical taste is mediocre and pop-happy and goes from my current playlists all the way back to my grade 10 Ipod music near the end. Have my ever-growing catalogue of soppy songs for this bastard of a show, most curated pre-Season 2 as an “Angsty Fanfiction Playlist” but can now be promoted to “Entirely Canon-Compliant Playlist”. There’s no Queen just because it’s a given. Here’s the link to the Youtube playlist -- sorry it’s not Spotify. https://youtu.be/pvfzcGbOzqg

“Mr. Blue” – Catherine Feeny  (Yes, I originally heard this at the end of Bojack. Such a lovely, gut-wretching song. Could be from both POVs kinda, but I always imagined it from A’s POV)

“Only The Lonely Survive” – Mariana’s Trench (Be prepared for a lot of Mariana’s Trench – I’m Canadian)

“Dearly Departed” – Mariana’s Trench (Lord. This song. Mariana’s Trench notoriously incorporates elements/lines from previous albums/songs, and this is no exception. A gutwrencher)

“Masterpiece Theatre III” – Mariana’s Trench (their first “showstopper finale” I believe).

“Astoria” – Mariana’s Trench (There’s references to Shakespeare and Romeo and Juliet in “when starcrossed lovers take their lives”, very them. Them as in Shakespeare, not…not the line, at least not the latter half.)

“End of an Era” – Mariana’s Trench (Again, references to Shakespeare. I would highly recommend Mariana’s Trench in general, but with a special place in my heart for the huge showstoppers they always end on, which often incorporate lines of the previous songs in album/past albums, and ALSO use Leitmotifs from PREVIOUS finale songs. They’re great.)

“Killing Kind” – Mariana’s Trench (the most recent album’s showstopping finale. The darkest one. Very credit-scene-GO2-Final-15-core, all misery, very angsty emoish, skip if you’re not into that vibe)

“From Eden” – Hozier (Yeah, yeah, duh. Let’s just assume all Hozier songs, but just in case by some miracle you’ve not heard any Hozier in relation to GO, I’ll add more)

“Take me to Church” – Hozier

“Like Real People Do” – Hozier (Ahaha, a soft and sweet song that absolutely does not fit…yet. But it will.)

“Lost” – Dermont Kennedy (A later-on remorse song for Az. Significant Lyrics: “When everything was broken/The devil hit his second stride/But you remember what I told you/Someday, I'll need your spine to hide behind” “Are we destined to burn or will we last the night?/I will hold you 'til I hold you right.”)

“Glory” – Dermont Kennedy (Can’t quite land on what perspective this is sung from, but I almost see it as a song from C’s perspective to A, with the asides referencing “She” referencing God. The complex relationship he has with her, and A, and everything.)

“King” – Lauren Aquilina (Idk why, but I just see it as a comfort song. You can take or leave, it’s just here from before GO2 as a comfort song for Crowley, who in my mind was suffering due to some overwhelmingly heartbreaking event that left him rock bottom on his own for some extended period, but of course that’d never happen canonically, pfft. Just a fanfiction song, nothing more).

“Hits Different” – Taylor Swift (Yep, she’s defo got a place on this list. She’s got SO many applicable songs, but I’ll just put a blanket order on her music and give you a few. This is currently a fav of mine and the first song I heard post-watch, and thus the one I had my big “Everything Applies Now Legally” epiphany during my listen. A poppier, slightly happier vibe that we desperately need at this point.)

“Samson” -- Regina Spektor (Jesus. I’ll likely make a video about it when I have the time.)

“Heart’s On Fire” – Passenger (A sweet song that will tear your goshdarn heart out. There’s hope in this song. “I don’t know where and I don’t know when/But I know we’ll be lovers again.”)

“Mess Is Mine” – Vance Joy (Again, hope. A forgiveness song.)

“Something In The Orange” – Zach Bryan (A bit countryish, so dif kinda vibe, but still love it. Very angst, sitting with a glass of whiskey kinda song.)

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark” – Death Cab For Cutie (Yeah, a no brainer, doi. Also I’m p sure this was on one of the Prime playlists.)

“Scared” – Tragically Hip (Ok this is very much not lyrically sound in terms of them, but it’s one of my fav Hip songs and the vibes are sweet.)  

“All These Things That I’ve Done” – The Killers (Okay this is just me being goofy now, I’m going through my teenage Ipod music. Why not. Let’s end on an upbeatish note! Let’s all raise a glass to this song whose lyrics I’d write on my calculator lid in grade 10 math.)

“Long Road To Ruin” – Foo Fighters (Okay ONE more song from my old Ipod.)

#good omens 2 spoilers #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #go2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers

[sparkleapple]

Eurovision 2022 Song Opinions

Albania - I'm pleasantly surprised w their choice this year and it's something I've been wanting for a long time. I've know that Albanians know how to make a good party song and Sekret does not fail to deliver. I'm rooting hard for this and I can sense that it will be one of Albania's best result in a long time.

Armenia - It sounds like a hipster song from the early-mid 2010s that you'd hear in an ad.

Australia - They don't even belong here, but it's very Eurovision and he has a nice voice I guess

Austria - Definitely sounds like a radio friendly hit you'd see in Spinnin' Records. It's probably going to be a flop, but I'm just happy they're not sending another boring jury bait song.

Azerbaijan - So I've waited so long for them to release this song just to hear this snorefest? You've got to be kiddin me. Also do Azeri people feel so badly about their song writing/producing abilities that they have to depend on Sweden (or some western european country) every fuckin time? The chorus is pretty though.

Belgium - Is this the year of changing things? Because Belgium isn't giving us some mid tempo songs and an R&B one instead (which you hardly ever see in ESC). I absolutely love his voice and energy and this sounds like something straight out of Atlanta. I'm worried about his fate though...

Bulgaria - Wow. I expect great things from Bulgaria, but this is a huge disappointment and outdated as hell.

Croatia - Forgettable Taylor Swift demo

Cyprus - Sounds more Greek than anything Greece has sent these recent years. Woodland fairy vibes.

Czech Republic - Generic

Denmark - I love seeing a female rock song, but this sounds dated and is bound to be lost in the semifinals

Estonia - For the love of god, can Europe stop imitating country music?! Why would you want to mimic the US in a place like this? That said, I do like this song actually and at least it's not the Netherlands doing it.

Finland - The lack of rock entries this year is disappointing, and this one is the best one, but that's not saying much. The song's alright. However I love the Gorillaz like animation and, this did introduce me to the Rasmus, which lead me to "In the Shadows", which is a great song, so thank you for that.

France - LOVE! I'm a sucker for an ethnic techno track and the mysterious aura and Brenton makes me love it even more. Will certainly stand out. This is my personal winner. Well done France.

Germany - Forgettable Travis McCoy demo

Greece - Sure it's well produced and will certainly be in the top 10, but it feels very safe and not Greek at all. Gives off more Nordic vibes. If she was a Norweigan representative I'd like this song more. I'm just tired of Greece sending half Greek girls that aren't from Greece...

Iceland - When I first heard it, I thought it was boring, but now I enjoy it. It's pretty and sounds like a warm hug while camping in an Icelandic forest.

Ireland - I usually expect Ireland to send dull songs, but it was a pleasant surprise to hear this bop.

Israel - Fun and very Euroivision. Is it safe to call Israel the king of ESC gay performers?

Italy - I'm not a fan of returning performers bc I like seeing new faces and at first I was annoyed to see Mahmood return (this time with a little friend though). When I actually heard the song, I realized I was a clown. This song is great and it's very different from what he sent last time. If Italy doesn't end up with a high placement this year, no hosting country will.

Latvia - So they're not sending an electronic song. A joke entry I see. Very memeable. I miss the good old days when esc entries did stuff like this.

Lithuania - I thought it was going to hard to have a song almost as good as the Roop last year, but they ate this year too. I can't get enough. Smooth, unique, and mysterious with a touch of 20s/30s sounds. If this doesn't make to the finals, I'll riot.

Malta - I take back what I said about this bing the year of changing things up. Wtf is this hot mess? Out of Sight, while boring was still pleasant. Although with Malta's desperate attempt to be low odds, they replaced that song with something much worse. A corny ass Melofest reject that nobody's going to care for. If they place last in the semifinal, they deserve it. Also I'm tired of them only having girls.

Moldova - A simple, fun, ethnic song that's very eurovision.

Montenegro - I was looking forward for their return, especially since they haven't had a solo female singer in such a long time, but this song is pretty boring and the lyrics are cringey af. So much for making a comeback.

Netherlands - When I saw images of S10, I thought we were going to get a pop song, but instead we get a sad girl song in Dutch, which is even better. I don't like her voice, but I do like this song.

North Macedonia - I know it likely won't make it to the final, but I love it anyway and I can't stop listening to it. It also feels a bit nostalgic.

Norway - For a gimmicky entry with lyrics that don't make sense, it's a banger. It's even got a dance to go with it. Definitely something that'll motivate me to go hard on the treadmill. Another one of my faves.

Poland - Considering how had they've been flopping, I was surprised to see that they ate this year. Easy qualifier. I'd say it's the best of the sad boi ballads.

Portugal - Ooh I like this one. Seems very earthy and touching for someone who lost a loved one. If we forget about last year, Portugal has been serving as quality lately.

Romania - When I think of Romanian music, this is what comes to mind. Good ole' summer dance songs that we heard more in late 2000s- early 2010s. As a fan of Inna and Akcent, this is something up my alley.

San Marino - I heard this guy is popular in Italy so I was surprised to see someone like him represent this tiny country. What was even more surprising was to see them have a rock song and not some disco song.

Serbia - As a fellow weird person with a monotone and obsession with hygiene, I appreciate it. I can see it being a future iconic entry with its catchiness and gimmick on hand washing.

Slovenia - It's a shame this song is overlooked. It's a great example of a modern retro song (with a cute music video to boot). These kids have a mature taste.

Spain - Okay, y'all only like this basic ass song because of the choreography. That doesn't change the fact that the song is mediocre. Also the lyrics are cringey and I'm sick of women objectifying themselves. I'm not looking forward to seeing Chanel and her backup dancer's cheeks.

Sweden - I've tried to see what makes this song so high in the odds, but I still don't see it. Her voice is nice, but this sounds like something in the A Star is Born soundtrack, which I don't care for. But hey, at least they're not boring us with another generic male pop song.

Switzerland - I was disappointed considering how well they've been doing lately after so many years, they've sent us this Toy Story song. Don't get me wrong, he has a great voice and I really love the message of the song, but the delivery could have been better.

Ukraine - I prefer the Alina's song, but this one is great too. Fun, ethnic, and lighthearted with the iconic flute guy. I know for sure this will do well, but I'm afraid a lot of its points will be sympathy points and making it win would be cruel seeing that Ukraine can't afford to be the host country both location and financial wise.

UK - From the looks of it, this looks like it won't be a flop and possibly in the top 10. I wouldn't get my expectations to high though. The staging could be a hot ass mess and end up in the bottom once again.

#eurovision #esc #eurovision 2022 #esc 2022

[teenagepretentiousness]

midnights by ms tay tay swift has been out for a day and i already know what songs are sambucky coded woah woah big surprise. anyway lets dive into that 

so at number one i got maroon. i mean first of all. the maroon shirt from ep 5 and 6. yeah. thats- yeah. and and AND the second verse in all its glory i mean “When the silence came We were shaking, blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbing with your head in your hands Ain't that the way shit always ends? You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us I feel you, no matter what The rubies that I gave up” like be so honest is very much them. 

yeah anyway NEXT UP IS SWEET NOTHING BECAUSE GODDAMN. first up is the chorus because well “’Causе they said the end is coming Evеryone's up to something I found myself a-running home to your sweet nothings Outside they're push and shoving You're in the kitchen hummin' All that you ever wanted from me was nothing” AS WELL AS THE BRIDGE BECAUSE WELL “Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors And smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more" To you, I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it” yeah. yeah this is. yeah. very sambucky

NEXT UP IS LABYRINTH (dumb word but moving forward) this song is verry sam wilson coded because i said so i do not take criticism for my very correct opinions. um so yeah like the chorus and second verse are quite very sambucky again no i will not take criticism. “I'm fallin' in love Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again Oh, I'm fallin' in love I thought the plane was goin' down How'd you turn it right around? It only feels this raw right now. Lost in the labyrinth of my mind. Break up, break free, break through, break down. You would break your back to make me break a smile” like do i even have to explain this omg. you would break your back. to make me break smile. if that is not the most sambucky thing i have ever heard my GOODNESS. 

finally. paris. i say this for one reason, and one reason only. it is SO CA:TWS TO CA:CW CODED HOLY GODDDDDD. the pre chorus is just “I'm so in love that I might stop breathing Drew a map on your bedroom ceiling No, I didn't see the news 'Cause we were somewhere else Stumbled down pretend alleyways Cheap wine, make believe it's champagne I was taken by the view” you know. and verse 2 “Privacy sign on the door And on my page and on the whole world Romance is not dead if you keep it just yours Levitate above all the messes made Sip quiet by my side in the shade And not the kind that's thrown I mean, the kind under where a tree has grown” you know. like do you see my vision here. 

this was very messy i even barely understand it but i hope the message gets though because i am very very VERY passionate about the fact that midnights is the sambuckyiest album taylor has every sambuckied. 

#this is very very messy #but i dont know how to communicate thoughts quite well when it comes to taylor and sambucky #so this is what you get #yeah i loved this album so so so much #i understand if taylor is not your vibe but she is very much mine so have fun with that #sambucky #taylor swift #midnights #sam wilson #bucky barnes

[duchess-music]

|| THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT - Taylor Swift ||

Genres: Alt-Pop, Synthpop, Singer-Songwriter

REVIEW

Why was this album made? Someone tell me, please. This is a half-assed, boring project which is a pain to listen to.

Starting off quite strong, 'Fortnight' is definitely a good song. One of the best on this whole album, actually. That's all it is, though. Just good. Everything functions like it's supposed to, and it's not entirely forgettable, but it doesn't feel like there's anything below surface level. 'I love you / It's ruining my life' just seems a bit heavy handed, no? I did enjoy it quite a bit, I didn't even notice Post Malone was there which is definitely a bonus (it does lose points for telling me to move to florida, though). Sadly, all of the charm is lost by the time we get to the title track, and it doesn't return. Also, quick note: The title is really pretentious. You're not tortured and these lyrics definitely aren't poetry.

The lyrics on this album are lazy too. 'My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys', get it? Like, I'm the toy that's being broken?? Being cast aside by a partner is a brilliant songwriting topic, but Swift's talent appears to have been thrown out the window for this album. The metaphor is executed horribly and ends up being on the nose with little to discover underneath its surface, an unfortunately common theme throughout this album.

The production of this whole album is really lazy and same-y and I'm definitely with the crowd telling her to drop Jack Antonoff as producer after this. The singer and the song should be equals a good 80% of the time, but Swift's voice dominates every track while the instrumentation is slim to none. Everything about the album has been made to fit around her and her voice, but that doesn't have to be the case; Having more interesting instrumentation and production would've benefited this record an incredible amount. Sadly, we're left with bland Synthpop production that isn't memorable at all.

Some of the most enjoyable parts of this album are the track titles, Swift releasing a song called 'Fresh Out The Slammer' is just hilarious to me. 'Florida!!!' is boring, 'loml' is boring, 'The Alchemy' is boring, every song on this album has me bored to tears. It makes me wonder if I'm missing something here? Nothing about this album stands out to me at all unless it's so bad it's funny. At every turn, Swift fails to create a catchy melody or a memorable tune in favour of overproduced, bland pop music. During the listening process I had to take breaks between songs because I was so drained. I even fell asleep during my first listen (I am an eepy lil guy but most albums don't do that to me). By the end of the album I felt like my soul had been wrung out. It's stuffed full of filler that makes it impossible to remember.

This is her worst album to date, no doubt about it. It's so painfully dull and uninteresting, both lyrically and production-wise. At least the only way is up from here. I've heard that the anthology is better but at this point I don't think I can bear to listen to it. I really hope her next album of new material is better.

FINAL SCORE: 37/100

follow for more :/

#music #album review #album #music review #lp #2024 #alt pop #synthpop #singer songwriter #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #red

[johnbazley]

My favorite music of 2023

Welcome to the new home of B-Side Collection, a blog by John Bazley. Here is a list of my favorite albums of the year.

Best Reissues

Tyler, The Creator - Call Me If You Get Lost - The Estate Sale

Sabrina Carpenter - emails I can’t send - fwd

Taylor Swift - 1989 (Taylor's Version)

Honorable mention

The Gaslight Anthem - History Books

The production is a hurdle I simply can’t get over. Go back and listen to Handwritten. That thing sounds immaculate, even today. How does this album sound like a collection of demos? When I look into what I want these songs to sound like, I like them a lot! But how are you finally going to get Bruce Springsteen on a Gaslight Anthem song and let it sound like that? I hope this thing eventually gets re-recorded because the songs deserve a bigger budget.

Matt Rogers - Have You Heard of Christmas?

Much internal debate about whether or not I wanted to count this comedy Christmas album as a real album, but I ultimately landed on the fact that it is the catchiest pop album of the year and deserves a shout. 

Troye Sivan - Something to Give Each Other

I don’t think I have a parental bone in my body but I can’t help but see Troye Sivan as my biological son. I am very proud of my boy for making a good album this year. My son is also a gorgeous woman.

Ava Max - Diamonds and Dancefloors

Maxinistas rise up!!! The talk that Ava Max was the next Gaga was always stupid. She is Diet Dua Lipa and that flavor is actually good enough. 

Kesha - Gag Order

I found this album hard to get through. It's a tough listen, and it might be higher on the list if I had spent more time with it. But the pitch is “Fiona Apple does Endless” which is frankly stunning coming from Kesha. I’m happy that she’s finally free from Kemosabe Records and Dr. Luke and I hope she dives deeper into some of the sounds she’s experimenting with here. 

The Maine - The Maine

This is like…the fourth or so Maine album where my primary takeaway has been “Damn, the Maine is actually very good.” The songs are catchy and they’re structurally sound. It doesn’t really extend beyond that for me! I couldn’t really tell you what these songs are doing beyond being fun to listen to, and liking John’s voice. My favorite will probably always be Lovely Little Lonely, but “how to exit a room” is maybe the best onboarding point to this band’s catalog so far. 

Kylie Minogue - Tension

“Padam Padam” is the best song on here by a huge degree, and it’s also track one, and it was also out for months before the album. This is really just my way of saying “Padam Padam” is really good. 

Lightheaded - Good Good Great!

Years ago I fell head over heels for a Makthaverskan album and this EP reminds me of that short-lived love affair. I will go to my grave defending Stephen Stec from his many haters and opps. 

Jawdust and Grave Heist - Gravedust

I love George Saives and I love a good bleeegghhh in a hardcore song and thankfully this split has both. 

And now, for the top ten...

My ten favorite albums of 2023

10. Olivia Rodrigo - guts

guts is the album that I wanted SOUR to be. It is bratty and catchy and theatrical, everything Olivia Rodrigo does well, and it doesn't get bogged down in mid-tempo ballads like her last album did (in my humble opinion). Where that album felt like a rush to capitalize on the massive success of "Driver's License," guts benefits from being a complete artist's statement, a body of work that speaks for itself and places Olivia Rodrigo as the main pop girl (outside of Taylor Swift, who is in her own stratosphere at this point).

"get him back" is my favorite song on here, but "all-american bitch" feels like the legacy track and maybe what Olivia actually does best. I am so glad the biggest new pop star is cementing herself as a pupil of Paramore's first three albums. And Daniel Nigro's production work makes the whole thing sound real, not just a pastiche of better pop-punk music.

9. Mitski - The Land is Inhospitable and So Are We

I am often afraid that I am not a real person. When I’m alone, I eat dinner at 3:30 and watch 10 minutes of several movies before giving up and looking at my phone and pacing around for a few hours before I tire myself out and fall asleep in an uncomfortable position. I wake up in the middle of the night and consider that maybe there is something more deeply wrong with me that my depression, my anxiety, that someone will someday discover that I am not real, never have been, that I’ve been standing in the wrong checkout line for my whole life. I love this short and introspective album from Mitski, and my favorite song here is “I Don’t Like My Mind,” which has the following lyrics: “I don't like my mind, I don't like being left alone in a room / With all its opinions about the things that I've done / So, yeah, I blast music loud and I work myself to the bone / And on an inconvenient Christmas, I eat a cake / A whole cake, all for me.”

8. Danny Brown and JPEGMAFIA - Scaring the Hoes

My favorite mode of Danny Brown has always been “there is not a volume level at which this album sounds correct” and with that in mind, I think this is my favorite thing he’s ever done. The soundscape here is giving Stereo At Urban Outfitters Unfortunately Has Water Damage. Extremely not for everyone and I hesitate to recommend it to anyone who has not already signaled to me that they are an absolute sicko. I’m not sure where this narrative ended up, but the version on Bandcamp sounded a lot better than the version on Apple Music and Spotify so that's the version I would listen to if you're interested.

7. The Menzingers - Some of it Was True

You can observe several clear shifts in The Menzingers’ discography. There’s an obvious one right between Chamberlain Waits and On The Impossible Past where the band decided they wanted to make albums that have more in common with Chekhov novels than Against Me! albums. There’s another line right down the middle of After The Party where Greg realizes he’s 30 now, and the band’s art should reflect that. I’m famously still in my 20s, so the newer material doesn’t always resonate with me. Turns out a fine Menzingers album is still one of my favorite albums of the year. I don’t think I’ll spend a lot of time with this one the future, but “There’s No Place In The World For Me” was a really nice “I had a bad day at work at my new job in a new city and I can’t fall back on my old New Jersey comforts” song this year.

6. boygenius - the record

I don’t think this will go down as my favorite Phoebe (Punisher), Julien (Sprained Ankle), or Lucy (Historian)—might also still prefer the boygenius EP based solely on the classic status of “Me and My Dog,” a song so powerful that this album’s closer references its vocal melody—but this record’s best moments get up there. Tracks 3 through 6 are the heart, and “Not Strong Enough” lands in the top 5 of all members’ discographies for me.

I think I’m ready for a general departure for Phoebe Bridgers. She is poised to explode, that much is clear, the only question for me is whether she’ll “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” explode or “In the same conversation as Taylor Swift” explode. Either way I hope her next album is weird and divisive and risky.

5. blink-182 - One More Time…

My most listened-to album of the year, which is stunning to me! It should be bad. The first single was awful and still is. The production is bad. All of these men are 50. Somehow it works! I want to reject blink-182, and I don’t want to identify as a fan, but listening to this album proved to me that there’s something rotten in my heart feels excited when I hear Mark Hoppus and Tom Delonge sing on a song together.

I have always been happy for Mark that he got to continue being in blink-182 when Tom clearly wasn't into it anymore (and when he eventually quit altogether). Since 2003, Mark's interests seemed to skew more toward the fun, summery, SoCal sound, while Tom was more interested in doing Something Very Important And Perhaps Dark with his music. What I find special about this album compared to the last few blink records is that both of them get to do their thing here without stepping on each other's toes. It's the first time since 2003 that the band feels like a unit, not an inconvenience to each other. Tom gets to make bombastic arena music that lands at the top of the charts and connects with millions of people (always the clear goal of Angels & Airwaves, in my opinion) while Mark gets to make a song like "Bad News," which is easily his best work in 20 years.

In my hopes and dreams, blink-182 will take a page out of Fall Out Boy's book circa Folie a Deux (more on that later) and make something challenging and theatrical next. I believe they still have good albums left in them, but it's hard for me to see how they will once again put out new music without the reunion angle (that they have used near-constantly since Neighborhoods to promote their new albums).

4. Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess

To fully appreciate this one, I kind of have to forget that I heard like eight of these songs before the album came out. I don’t get why labels promote new artists like this! There’s all this talk about how hard it is to make a new star these days, and I have to think that a huge part of that is how the labels are holding hostage the debut albums (the material of legacy for artists, the thing that will make you a fan of an artist, not just a song)—I digress.

I think about it because “Pink Pony Club” is just a completely flawless song. It’s catchy and sleazy and melancholy and it makes me miss Tennessee, which feels like my home when I listen to this song. It makes me want to call my mom and also put on high heels and wear a little cowboy hat but leave the club feeling sad about it.

I think this album is about on par with The 1975's self-titled album in terms of how clear it is this artist will be around for a long time. New pop artists with such obvious musical and visual ambitions don't turn out every year, and now that this album is out of record label hell, I hope she'll be able to turn out the next one without the same nonsense that put this one out in piecemeal over the course of like two whole years.

3. Sufjan Stevens - Javelin

Without question my second favorite Sufjan album after Carrie and Lowell. At times it reminds me of A Crow Looked At Me, another album raw with grief, something that I have wondered about whether or not I should have ever heard it or if it should have been kept private.

I can't think of a song that affected me as deeply as "Shit Talk" this year. "I will always love you / I don't want to fight at all" gets stuck in my head constantly. So does the chorus of "Will Anybody Ever Love Me," a song whose intentions seem more clearly placed on making a statement as clearly and precisely as possible than being a catchy pop song, but still manages to make the latter happen with ease.

Something I have thought about a lot this year is the human cost of beautiful art. I know this album came out of a piece of immense grief and at the risk of sounding too familiar, I hope Sufjan is doing okay. I have always loved sad, moving music, and one thing I am working on these days is acknowledging and holding space for the grief that often accompanies it; I hope you'll do the same.

2. Fall Out Boy - So Much (for) Stardust

Few things in this world are as volatile as my Fall Out Boy album rankings, but right now, in December of 2023, So Much (for) Stardust is my third favorite Fall Out Boy album (behind Folie and Infinity on High of course). I can’t guarantee that will always be true, but I do think it will be top three forever, and it’s easily the best thing they’ve done post-hiatus. When I listen to this album, I hear a band that just woke up. It sounds like Pete and Patrick got in a room together and said “what if we made a Fall Out Boy album again?” which I’m sure has actually happened every time they’ve put out music over the past twenty years, but this time they really meant it.

I have spilled a lot of ink over this band. I’ve spilled blood in the discourse. I am famously an enjoyer of Save Rock and Roll in particular. Still, it is as clear as day to me now that those three albums between Folie and this one mostly show a band clawing at what it means to be a rock band in the 2010s; what it means to be Fall Out Boy after the Folie album cycle ran them all directly into the ground; how to be Fall Out Boy when being Fall Out Boy actually seems very out of style. It doesn't really seem like they found the answers to those questions, but it also seems like they don't care anymore and decided to just do what felt right. They haven't seemed this comfortable since at least Save Rock & Roll which somehow came out ten years ago.

"Fake Out," the perfect Fall Out Boy song. It sounds like it could have been written for the Infinity on High sessions. I understand that the idea of Fall Out Boy's music makes people recoil at times but if you are curious about this album, that is the song that will make you get it, if you have the capacity for "getting it."

1. Lana Del Rey - Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd

Beautiful and expansive, Lana Del Rey's ninth album is arguably her best. It also feels like her first, a rebirth for the character Lana Del Rey, the stage name of Lizzy Grant, a persona that has always felt like a construction meant to highlight the sadness nestled within the good times, the darkness and grime that the sunset over the Pacific Ocean can't quite reach. The central metaphor in the title track of Ocean Blvd is clear as day--"don't forget me, like you've forgotten about the tunnel under Ocean Boulevard"--but it also feels like a reference to the part of Lana Del Rey that has been hidden underneath the facade she's spent the past decade constructing. In comparison to her other work, this album feels so much more personal, so okay with being slight, or unadorned, free from what the audience expects from the character.

Case in point is "Margaret," my favorite song on here and one of my favorite songs of the year. It is a celebration of two friends' love for each other. Lana sounds like the master of ceremonies at the wedding here, rousing the band through her audible smile. There is almost nothing in the lyrics that points back at the singer herself. It sounds like she is following the purest desires of art-making in her heart at this point in her career and it is impossible not to meet her there, want to see the world through her eyes.

There are many instances of what makes “Venice Bitch” a perfect song, and maybe my favorite is the simple way Lana Del Rey sings “Oh god” in the chorus. Oh god, I miss you on my lips. The function of “I miss you on my lips” is secondary to the pain held within the carelessness ("Imagine if we actually gave a fuck / Wouldn't that be something to talk about for us?") of Oh god. I think the centerpiece of this album is the outro of "A&W," which itself is like a coda to "Venice Bitch," but I am happy that she went as far as revisiting the way she sings “Oh god” in “VB Taco Truck.”

-

That's all from me this year. My goal for 2024 is to listen to more music than I did in 2023. If I am missing something here, please reach out to me (I am assuming you know how to do this if you are reading this) and let me know.

#bsidecollection

[gossiptrends]

Anna Wintour's Explosive Outburst at Kim Kardashian Revealed! | Gossip Trends

Anna Wintour's Explosive Outburst at Kim Kardashian Revealed! | Gossip Trends https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x52C0U-vR4 Get the scoop on Anna Wintour's explosive outburst at Kim Kardashian! Fashionably late at Victoria Beckham's Paris fashion show, Kim's tardiness seemed to rub Anna the wrong way. The tension between the reality TV star and Vogue's Editor-in-Chief was palpable as the show commenced. Anna's abrupt exit during the final model's walk left everyone stunned. Speculations about this awkward encounter were put to rest by an insider who cited Kim's delay as the reason for Anna's swift departure. But is this truly a feud between the fashion powerhouse and Kim, or just a display of disappointment over punctuality? The drama surrounding this incident is not the first instance of rumored tensions. Discover the history of their working relationship and the subtle 'shade' that has been thrown in the past. Fashion drama, punctuality rules, and celebrity encounters—it's all in this juicy video! ✅ Please Subscribe to our channel to get more up-to-date about Hollywood buzz, entertainment news, and intriguing stories: https://www.youtube.com/@GossipTrends ====================================== ✅ Other Videos You Might Be Interested In Watching: 👉 Taylor Swift and Matty Healy: What REALLY Happened During Their Night Together? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcWZB3QI3IU 👉 Why Kanye West LOST It When He Saw Kim Kardashian... You Won't Believe What Happened Next! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHN1mUz4i9U 👉 One Last Lie! The REAL reason Amber Heard is "Leaving Hollywood!" Here's the TRUTH! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8R4xObVSQg 👉 The Shocking Details Behind Ariana Grande's Marriage You WON'T Believe https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bYmLqST4ZM ✅ Welcome to Gossip Trends: Welcome to "GOSSIP TRENDS," where our aim is to provide you with the most up-to-date Hollywood buzz, entertainment news, and intriguing stories! We deliver the hottest celebrity drama from your favorite celebrities. Rest assured; our channel is your go-to source for the latest from the world of Hollywood! Whether you're yearning for some juicy gossip or eager to stay informed about your beloved actors and film franchises, subscribing to our channel is a must. We ensure that you're always in the loop with the latest news! Wanna keep up to date on the latest news? Subscribe to our channel for more content. 🔔 Please Subscribe to our channel to get more up-to-date about Hollywood buzz, entertainment news, and intriguing stories: https://www.youtube.com/@GossipTrends ====================================== #celebritynews #exclusiveinterview #shockingnews #AnnaWintour #KimKardashian #FashionDrama Disclaimer: Our content might be gossip, rumors, exaggerated, or indirectly beside the truth. The viewers are advised to do their own research before forming their opinion. The content might be opinionated. Do your own research. Copyright Notice: This video and our YouTube channel contain copyrighted music and images. Any public, media, and any other business usage are subject to a business license. Unauthorized usage and publications are prohibited. © GossipTrends via Gossip Trends https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyRco5r0GyRhCqEYY3v2cGQ November 06, 2023 at 02:00AM

#entertainmentnews #news #viralstories #trendingstory #popculturefacts #tvshows #moviestarfacts #celebrities #celebnews #celebgossip #beyondthescreen #hollywood

[erosdiaries05]

II: "Title"

Hello, my Love.

In all honesty, I dread this month every single year.

Throughout my life, August has always brought at least one event that steered my life towards a dark alley. 4 years ago, I lost the Sun on the 12th. 3 years ago, the Bull destroyed me on the 7th.

Year after year, I lived in fear of the 8th month's arrival due to the expectation that it will follow the same exact pattern as it has for the past few years.

But thanks to you, I found a new meaning for it.

You like music, do you not? I am quite certain that you do, provided how much you listened to it during our days together.

I am also quite certain that you are well aware how each album has a "title track"—the track that leads the charge or takes the front lines. It's the track that potentially defines what the entire album is about, or portrays what the artist was feeling the most during the time of its creation.

I myself am also quite the connoisseur when it comes to music. However, I used to listen to songs because of the earworms they manifest in me. Nowadays, I listen to songs for the same reason that they were written and recorded in the first place: because that is what I feel.

When I first met you, I expected nothing. If anything, I expected to do the oath I made to myself justice by retracting any semblance of feelings towards you as hard and as much as I possibly could.

But it is true what they say. You really cannot help who your heart beckons to.

And when mine beckoned for you, a collection of songs coalesced, and this is the very first song that came to be.

The very first song in the playlist.

Your Title Track.

"august" quickly became my favorite Taylor Swift song of all time (yes, you heard that right) because it transported me to all manner of places that I've never been to before, but did not realize early on that I wanted to be in...

Places that I still yearn to get to, God-willing.

Back when we were still changing for the better...

It transported me through time, back when we first met. Back when you were being driven to insanity by your "dragon" and bored to death by the nature of our previous work. I was there to make you laugh, and you broke your back to make me smile. We gushed over BLACKPINK. I listened to your plans for marriage and working abroad, raising a family, your rants on life and everything else in between.

Yeah. The time went by so fast that now, in retrospect, makes me think how unfair it is that the good times hasten the clock while the bad times slow it down.

Wanting was enough... For me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say "Meet me behind the mall"...

It transported me to a parallel universe, and to a place wherever you are. Manila, BGC, Clark... All the places that you took me to... All the places that you made me your own... But, only in this universe, you actually fell in love with me in the same way I fell in love with you. You would look at my chocolate eyes just as intently as I looked into your caramels. You would hold me close, and so tightly that it's as if by daylight, I would dissolve. You would think of me, and all your worries, fears, and the opinions of the people around you would just...fade. And then you'd tell me, "I love you, too..."

So much for summer love And saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose...

Then, just as quickly as I was transported to the land of my dreams, I am shaken awake and thrust back into reality. You're there...miles away... Probably in her arms right now... And I'm here...miles away... Without you.

My Love, you know I will never ever stop loving you. Not only is it obvious and clear as day, but I told you that, word for word.

And the reason why this song is your Title Track is because I still live for the hope that you will one day muster the courage to finally say what you really feel...

I am an Augustine...

I am still living for the hope of it all.

With love, Eros

#taylor swift #folklore #august #eros diaries #travels with aries #taylorswift

[thedistrictsleepsalonetonight]

you're laughing. I just told you taylor swift straight up murdered este's husband after he killed her and then framed his mistress and you're laughing

#taylor swift #evermore #no body no crime #this song is so fun #insanity i tell you #taylor swift has finally lost it you heard it first here

[spideyharrington]

Safe & Sound

summary: you help bruce when he has a nightmare

warnings: mentions of death, nightmares ofc, this got much more upsetting and angsty than i intended i’m sorry blame the music i was listening to. there’s fluff in there too tho i promise 😭

A/N: i am finishing this at 4am and i did not proofread so i’m sorry if there are mistakes. also sorry if it’s just generally bad LMAO thought i’d do a tiny blurb about y/n helping bruce after a bad dream as my first writing for him 🧍‍♀️partially inspired by Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift. also idk if Gordon has a daughter or anything in reeves’ world but i assumed he does (very very briefly mentioned)

word count: 1k

Bruce had a history of bad nightmares. Between his tragic past and the current horrors he faces on a nightly bases, it’s really no surprise. What was surprising to him however, was how they managed to almost come to a complete stop when you came around. He had less nightmares since you came into his life and he seemed to have none any time you stayed over, which was becoming a frequent habit. So when you felt that the familiar dip in the bed was no longer there, you started to worry. When you sat up you saw Bruce staring out the window. The sun was just beginning to rise which meant he had only been asleep for an hour or so considering he has a very long night out as the Batman. You slowly got out of bed and walked over to his side. You quietly grabbed his hand and looked at him. He turned to look at you and you could tell it was a nightmare. You could see the pain and confusion lingering in his eyes. You usually weren’t so concerned when he had a nightmare, you knew he would be ok after he got a few more hours of sleep. But what made you filled with concern was the fact that he hugged you. He hugged you so tightly that for a moment you were a bit concerned for your ribs.

“Bruce? Darling what’s wrong?” you tried to have a soft, steady voice but it was a bit trembly and laced with so much worry. Seeing him like this absolutely destroyed you. You’d been with him for roughly a year and half now and he’s only done this four other times. Each time after a truly horrific event. You began to wonder if something happened while he was helping Gordon late in the night that he didn’t wanna burden you with.

“I’m sorry,” he answered you, voice barely above a whisper as he started to pull away. You immediately pulled him back.

“Hey hey it’s ok. I’m here. We can stand here like this for as long as you want. I’ll never let you go. Unless you want me to…” you trailed off as you began to rumble on. Was he… Was Bruce Wayne crying? Now this, this has never happened. Now your heart was really pounding. Terrified as to what could’ve happened. Was it Alfred? No, no you just saw him before you fell asleep. Dory? No you heard her talk to Alfred. Did something happen to Gordon? Or his daughter? Oh god what if something had happened to you and you were just having some sort of death dream- Your insane thoughts were interrupted by Bruce’s startlingly upset voice.

“I had a nightmare. I lost you. It was all my fault. I brought you into a world I should’ve never brought you into. And the worst part is, I did it in real life too. I should’ve never gotten you involved with my… Other life.”

“Don’t say that, Bruce,” you respond in a much sterner tone than you meant, “I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t know about your ‘other life’. I would be worried sick about you either way, but at least this way I know where you are. I know what you’re fighting for. And more importantly I know you. Both sides of you. Which i love endlessly. And as for the part where you’re blaming yourself for my death, it was a dream. I’m right here, safe and sound. And part of that reason is because you’re here to protect me. If anything were to happen to me-“

“If anything were to happen to you I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!” He yelled as he finally pulled away from you, looking into your eyes with… Fear.

“Bruce you’re starting to scare me,” you start as you try to fight the tears, “I’ve never been very scared of death or leaving anyone behind. I haven’t had anyone to even leave behind most of my life. But now I have you. And I’m worried shitless that if something actually did happen to me, you would lose yourself. Or do something reckless. Something you could never take back. And I would never want that for you. I would want for you to try to move on and keep fighting and find love again and… And be here for Alfred. I’m not the only person you have y’know? Alfred is like your Uncle who took you into your care when you were so young…” these thoughts became too much and now you were the one crying.

Bruce just shook his head almost violently at your reply. He opened his mouth a few times, only to close it again. He had so much to say yet he couldn’t find any of the right words. You walk up to him and hold his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes again, “How about we stop thinking about these morbid futures and go bad to bed. I know we won’t fall asleep for awhile, but you need more than an hour of rest. We can just live in this moment right here right now. Instead of wasting our time on all these what-ifs. He stares into your eyes for a moment before kissing you. It was probably the most passionate kiss you’ve ever had. As if it was your last. But you knew it wouldn’t be and you knew he knew that too. Hell, you’ll probably both feel stupid for this in the morning.

You finally both lay back down and Bruce holds you so tightly, as if you’re just going to vanish from his grasp. You move his hair out of his face and smile at him, “We’re both going to be okay. You know that right?” He weakly smiles back and slowly nods his head.

“Just close your eyes. Come morning light, you and i’ll be safe and sound. I promise.” And so he did. With you tightly in his arms, knowing that as long as he was around he wouldn’t let anything hurt you. Knowing that you would never leave him behind.

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne fluff #the batman x reader #batman x reader #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne one shot #bruce wayne fic #battinson x reader #battinson x y/n #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne angst

[httpknjoon]

friends with history | ksj; 1

plot | You and Jin broke up. It’s a mutual decision. Another decision you shared was to stay friends, considering you two are in a single friend group. It’s easy, you thought. Both of you just have to act like you did not have a seven-year relationship while you hang out with your other friends every Saturday with your new dates.

words | 3,040

genres | tiny fluff, angst,  exes!au

pairing | seokjin x reader

warnings |  cursing, breakup effects (like almost every messy part of it), unhealthy living

note | back again with another exes au lol this is the first one out of five chapters. let me know your thoughts! enjoy reading!

songs | death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift, can we still be friends - todd rundgren, afterglow - taylor swift,  paper rings - taylor swift, cornelia street - taylor swift, (just play the whole lover album at this point lol)

main masterlist  | preview  | series masterlist

"So, this is all of it?"

With a medium-sized box in between, the two of you stood in front of one another.  You, on the other hand, tried not to cry as you looked down and played with the hem of the oversized, brown sweatshirt you were wearing. You still managed to give him a small nod. But you just don’t have the power to look at him.

"Will... will you be fine?"  Jin asked, voice shaking.

He wants to touch your fragile form. But he's scared that he is going to break too. Moving his stare away from your sad state, Jin looks at the box. It was full of the things that he left in your apartment. It seems some of it is not still there. He can see the dusty stuffed toys, his very old earphones that he thought he lost a year ago, his rarely used ukelele, and other random objects. But he can say that something is missing.

“Yeah...” you sobbed.

When he finally had the strength to look at you again, Jin realized what is lost in the box. His clothes. He often (by often, he basically lived here before things got messy) stays here in your place. So he has like a couple of clothes laying somewhere in your laundry or bedroom. You were even wearing his sweatshirt right now. He knew that it’s already a habit of yours.

“Jin.” you finally looked up to him, eyes bloodshot while your nose sniffed. “We’re still going to be friends, right?”

He swore he heard his own heartbreaking into pieces when you asked that. It reminds him of the very same fear he had before confessing to you seven years ago. He knew you also have the same fear. Losing your friendship if anything like this happens. It was the same old cliche that every friend before lovers tropes had.  The big reason why it took many years before the two of you admit your feelings for each other.

"Of course. We were friends before any of this."

As soon as he said that, he can see you pouting while looking at him. Tears began streaming down your soft cheeks again. Jin sighed, finally giving up. He pulled you in his arms, moved the box away, and just rested his head on yours. He can feel the chest area of the white shirt he’s wearing all dampened by your tears. He was crying too. You can hear him even though you know that he’s stopping himself. You felt safer in his arms. The familiar scent of his perfume and clothes’ fabric conditioner feels like home to you. It has the comfort that you can only find with certain people. Specifically, Jin.

“I... I should go,” he whispered in the softest way he could.

You nodded as you slowly drifted away from his touch. You see him looking away as he wiped his tears. You two stood in silence after that. He was still looking away while you stared at the box that was pushed to the side of your door frame. You know something’s absent. It’s the fucking clothes, you thought. It’s somewhere mixed in your laundry. There’s a part of you, secretly hoping that these will be a reason for him to meet you again in the future. Because there is no lie when you say that you’re scared of not seeing him again after this. Although you were friends before. That tiny shreds of fear are still lingering in your soul.

“I guess I’ll go,” Jin repeated in a more awkward tone.

He picked up the box from the ground and muttered a small bye. He did not wait for you to answer when he chose to finally walk back to his car. Jin knows that you’re still watching him from your front door and he also knows that if he hears or sees you in that sorrowful look again, he will just give up. He will probably just carry you back to your bedroom, just cuddle with you and say sorry for making you cry for almost a week now.

“See you when I see you,” you spoke out weakly.

Although it’s almost out of earshot, he still heard it when he got in the driver’s seat. He nodded and forced a smile. He took a glimpse at you one last time before driving away with a tight grip on his steering wheel.

You watched him drive away and away until you did not spot even the tiny silhouette of his vehicle down the road. With the strength left in your body, you closed your door. But immediately fell on your knees behind the door, just cried your heart out with everything that happened this week.

Days passed by quickly. But time felt slow at the same time. Weird, you thought. But that’s how you felt with everything this past few days. You drowned yourself with loads of work. Your boss was amazed by how early you submitted the present lately. 

“Wow! Another early submission, Y/N. You are almost one week ahead of my said deadline. I swear you are one of the running candidates for this month’s Employee of the month. Keep up the good work!” She even told you once. 

You thanked her and smiled as you left her big office. She thought that you’re improving. But honestly, you were just wearing yourself out. So you won’t have any empty time to feel alone in your house. 

Still, you think it’s fortunate that your friends haven’t planned any night out or bonding yet since it’s been a month since you last met them. Although, all of you try to talk through text whenever you guys can. And you were still in a relationship status the last time you had fun with them. Speaking of your relationship, they are still unaware of what happened between you and Jin. You doubt that Jin would tell them. You’re scared to tell them. You don’t how would they react, knowing that they all expect you two as the endgame for each other.

“Hey, Y/N.”

A light knock on your cubicle wall snapped you out of your mind. That’s why you hated having free time, you will end up thinking about the same topic. You looked up to see who called you. It was your co-worker, Hailey, who stays in the cubicle next to yours. She peeked her head above the low, royal blue wall.

“Hey,” you spoke softly. “What’s up?”

“I’m going home. It’s getting pretty late. How about you?” she asked.

You scrunched your eyebrows together as you looked at the small digital clock you have beside your desktop. It’s already ten minutes past nine. You haven’t noticed that you are already free to leave almost an hour ago.

“Yeah, I’m free to go now.” you faked a smile as you picked up your things.

After your desktop screen turns black, you stood up and left the cubicle. You waved goodbye to your few colleagues left in your department. Hailey clicked the button for both of you in the elevator. You two have been working together for almost three years now. But only got closer when you began working overtime. She takes the train the same as yours. Getting closed with her, you learned that she only lived closely from yours.

“Everyone in the department thinks you’ll be promoted any time soon.” Hailey gossiped as she looks at you with a happy expression.

“Really? Why so?” you yawned after asking her.

“It was a literal hell week for the whole department since Nina had been showing off to the superiors.” you see Hailey rolling her eyes as she mentioned your boss’s name. “And you’re the only one who’s been passing her requests of reports early. As of now, you are the saving grace of everyone. We all feel like just one wrong move with Nina, she will just burst out because of the pressure the superiors gave her.”

You shook your head as you laughed, “Saving grace? Shut up.”

“Just know that we were relieved when we saw Nina smiling while leaving for her lunch break, after talking to you,” she stated.

“Your welcome, I guess?” you giggled, already weary.

You were so closed on leaning your body on the elevator wall when the door opened, indicating that you two are already in the lobby. The subway was only a five-minute walk from the company building. Fifteen minutes later, you’re waving goodbye to Hailey since you passed by her apartment first. You felt your phone vibrate in your coat’s pocket. But you just decided to check on it when you get home.

As you lazily slipped off your three-inch work shoes, you watched messages flood on your phone screen. Everyone’s been talking in your group chat again. You thought they were just talking about their days or some drama in their workplaces, which are the usual themes.

Dinner at Younhee and Hiro’s house. Tomorrow. 7PM.

You paused from walking to your messy bedroom when you read the chat. Five out of seven members of your friend group already agreed and shared their excitement to see each other again after a month. This kind of short notice invite is nothing new to you and your friends. Before, you will automatically say yes, which already translates to Jin agreeing. But now, with a big change that happened, you don’t know what to do. You saw Jin had seen the messages but remained wordless like you too. Both of you were quiet in the group chat and someone immediately noticed it.

From Kaori <33

To your group

How about you guys? Y/N and Jin???

What to say? What to say? 

The question is repeated over and over in your head. You see Kaori, the youngest, mentions you and Jin. She asked if you’re coming (which definitely meant for you and Jin together). You thought of just ignoring the chat and going straight to your untidy bed. Maybe just sleep it away. But your eyes widened when a message popped again.

From Jin

To your group

Of course. We’ll go, Kao :)

4:58 AM

Fuck. You sighed loudly. Staring at your plain, dark ceiling, you don’t know what to do after that message from almost eight hours ago. Yeah, you had a five-hour sleep moments ago but woke up due to the heat of having pillows and blankets over you. It’s your sad cure of missing something someone wrapped around you. But since you only noticed your air conditioner is broken, you woke up all sticky and sweaty while still in your white blouse and pencil skirt, which are very uncomfortable to sleep in by the way.

What a mess.

You told yourself, rolling to the other side of your bed. Clothes on your makeup table, door handle, and floor. They are everywhere. It looks like someone got in your room and rummaged through all of your belongings. But when in reality, you are just being careless for the whole month. 

The break-up was obviously overwhelming to you. You thought it was an exaggeration when you watched movies or series with a heartbroken character and a very not clean room. But you kind of understood them now. Although you and Jin never really officially moved in together, he basically lived in your house as long as you did. 

When he moved out with all of his things, you felt like the house is bigger than you usually see it. Your bed became larger because of the empty space beside you. You noticed how spacey your bathroom was. In contrast, it also felt smaller back when Jin teases you in the morning while you brush your teeth.

“Jin, please...” 

You can’t help but to close your eyes as Jin peppers you kisses from your neck down to your damp shoulder.

“A few minutes late won’t hurt.” he whispered too close to your ear that it tickles you.

“It will. I still haven’t finish something... something in my computer.” 

Jin distracts you from explaining when he pulled your towel-clad body closer to him. He rested his chin on your shoulder, not minding your dripping wet hair. You continued brushing your teeth, meeting his gaze in the mirror. You don’t know if the pout he have on his face was intentional or out of habit because it really helps him to win you over your increasing workload. Even when you’re done, you two remained stood in front of the mirror. You like the strong smell of his shampoo close to you. While he love your vanilla scented body soap on your skin. It’s a simple scene that defines comfort for both of you.

“You are like a koala bear, hanging on to me.” you quipped, making the two of you giggle.

“Yeah, I’m your koala bear who’s asking you to stay even for a few minutes.” he responded with a teasing smile.

“Well, Mr. Koala. Don’t you have work to do yourself?” you asked, turning your head to him. You study his features: his long lashes, almost clear skin, and soft pink lips.

He also turned to you, softly bumping your noses with how close you are. Instead of him answering, you two quietly got lost in each other. Once again, letting silence take over everything around you. It’s crazy how every time you land your eyes on him, you still get that same butterflies in your stomach when you first knew that you love him. Seven years into the relationship, ten years of knowing each other. 

“I love you.” you whispered before leaning in.

It hurts to think about those kinds of moments you had with him. Instead of making you giggle like a kid, these memories squeezes your heart to the finest. It’s draining every tears you have in you. You thought you had everything planned out. But due to this sudden breakup, you felt like an empty planner all over again.

Plus the fact that you haven’t told anyone about it kills you. You don’t have the heart to face anyone who knows you and Jin and tell them that you two broke up, knowing how they will react. Your dad loves him like his own son. Jin have his own set of Tupperware when your mother brings food for you. Your little sister literally looked up to him as his older brother since she grew up with him around. With this, you wondered if he already told his family about you two. It was obvious that your friends are clueless. Knowing Jin, he sucks at confrontations and confessions. You have been a witness (and victim) of it for years now.

“Oh, fuck.” you whispered to yourself when you heard the ringing beside you.

It was your alarm clock set in your phone. You did not notice yourself drifting away to slumber hours ago. You got up from your bed with slump shoulders to your bathroom. Twenty minutes later, you’re staring all over your room again while water drips down your hair.

“I really need to clean up.”

Maybe tomorrow, you thought again. It’s your day off tomorrow so you have the time to finally do what you need to do in your house. You’ve been avoiding staying in your OWN house for the whole month that you avoided any home chores too. Your mother will be disappointed if she sees your state now. You rolled your eyes with the image of her standing in your door, just looking around your mess.

As soon as you got in your work clothes, you chose to grab a banana on your kitchen counter as your breakfast. Although your not still late, you just want to leave your house again. You also drop by coffee shop to order your usual to-go hot coffee. While walking out the said shop, you heard someone not too far behind you.

“Y/N?”

You stopped as soon as you heard it. It took you less than a second to recognize the voice. You closed your eyes as you bit your inner cheek before slowly turning around. Your heart speeding up its beats.

“Jin.” you said.

Your tone fell flat and emotionless. You can’t even smile. Even a fake one. Why bother? You knew he will identify it anyway. Well, you originally wanted to smile, to maybe show him that you’re doing well even as a facade. But when you saw him looking good, still handsome as ever, you just wanted to stray away. It looks like it’s obvious who’s taking the breakup really hard right now. Your dark circles and puffy eyes, that you spotted in the mirror earlier, are the proof by the way.

You can see his eyes studying your state before speaking, “How... How are you?”

“Off to work.” you were quick to answer although that did not even answered his question. You can’t stand lying, especially to him. So, you decided to just ignore that question.

“Oh, I have my car with me. Maybe I can drive you—”

“No, no. It’s fine. The subway is somewhere there.” you pointed behind you as you spoke hastily.

He sighed before moving his finger to his left side, “The subway’s here, Y/N.”

Your eyes followed his index finger. And of course, he’s right. You were too lost mentally to locate your own body right now. You just let out a breathy, awkward laugh.

“Ah, yes. I almost got lost. Thanks. Bye.”

You were obviously itching to leave and immediately turned your back at him to go to the subway. But Jin said something that made you pause.

“I actually want to talk about the dinner later.”

Well, shit. That dinner kind of slipped off your head when you woke up today. You forgot about the whole thing and the possible breakup thing announcement, if that’s a thing. So, you just sighed before turning to him once again.

“How about after work? Let’s talk before going there?” you came up with a rushed idea.

“I’ll pick you up at work?” he asked, sounding a bit hopeful or maybe you just thought.

“Yeah, sure” you nodded before turning your back again, walking to your destination.

“Okay, okay. See you later, Y/N!”

You took one last peek at him, “Yeah, see you later.”

God, how can he still look that good after a breakup?

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd

TAGLIST

@jnshjjt @lilachaeyo​ @bringmetheksj​ @effielumiere @claricedelune @arisud​ @kianamj​ @teamtardis-notdead​ @circleroomtalk @rjsmochii​ @akshstudios​ @sojurnmichael @tan-dulset​ @agustdxjiminx​ @my-current-mood-is​​ @cestlabellemort​ @nadiaislas @mrsdoradominguez-barnes​ @betysotelo18​

#bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #bts series #bts imagine #bts jin #bts x reader #bts exes au #bts established relationship au #jin imagine #seokjin angst #seokjin fluff #jin series #jin fluff #jin angst #jin exes au #friends with history ksj