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monsterfuker3000 · 7 months

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Call Me ˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡☏♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Jesus God, this took an embarrassingly long time. Not sure it’s my best work, most of this was written while I was stoned out of my mind, and when that happens I think with my pussy and not my brain, but I can guarantee this shit filthy. It’s not edited because I’m high again.

Warnings: NSFW, DUBCON, Ghostface!Dazai, fem!reader, p in v, intercourse, unprotected sex, (don’t do that,) creampie (don’t do that either,) uhh sub!reader, dom!dazai, there’s uhhh there’s knives, blood, brief mention of a cut, fake kidnapping, drugging(?) established relationship and use of traffic light system but when I say dubcon I mean dubcon. Look me in my eyeballs. Dubcon. Uhhh restraints? Idk it’s just a little bit depraved so don’t read it if you don’t want depraved. There’s aftercare though bc I’m allergic to not ending my fics on a soft note. Characterization in this is questionable at best. I love you mwah.

To @texas-bitch-yee @genshinsbiggestsimp @cupidszvlvr @dxzxii @vqmpwclf sorry this took so long 👉🏻👈🏻

WC: 4k words of Osamu Dazai lecherously taking you and you being lecherously taken ❤️

Leaves crunched under your feet as you ran, the cool fall air burning in your lungs. The ankle you’d twisted a few minutes previous was screaming at you, but only one thing was going through your mind.

Do.

Not.

Stop.

You knew he wasn’t far behind you, he never had been. Deep down, through all your attempts to lose the man you knew was trailing you, you knew damn well he was never more than a few minutes away. If you stopped now, he’d catch you for sure, and he had every intention of using that knife you’d seen glinting in his hand when he dumped you on the ground in this forest in the middle of nowhere and told you to run for your life.

You stumbled down a small hill, nearly losing your footing but staying upright by some miracle. You paused for just a moment to steady yourself, your heart rate spiking when you heard a branch snap in the distance. Whether it was the man you’d received a phone call from earlier in the night or some woodland creature, you weren’t sticking around to find out, and you took off again.

You’d been at home just an hour previous, curled up on the sofa of your living room as you waited for Dazai to come home. Your phone rang next to you; expecting your boyfriend, you answered without checking the caller ID, not seeing that it read ‘UNKNOWN CALLER’ at the top of the screen.

“Hello?” You chirped, expecting the gentle voice of your boyfriend Osamu on the other end.

“Do you want to play a game?” came the reply, the voice gravelly and unfamiliar. You frowned and checked the caller ID, just now seeing it wasn’t anyone in your contacts. Your blood ran cold for just a moment before you realized exactly what was going on, and you laughed.

“Osamu,” you giggled, “that’s the wrong movie, silly!” The person on the end seemed to falter for just a moment before gathering themselves and resuming conversation.

“Well, if you know so much about movies, belladonna, then tell me, what’s your favorite scary movie?”

“Scream,” you replied simply. “And, Osamu, you’re giving yourself away calling me belladonna like that,” you laughed. He grumbled something inaudible on the other end before you hung up, knowing this was all part of the game.

This had all been in the works for a couple of weeks now, beginning the night you’d popped the original Scream into the DVD player on a movie night with Osamu. He’d had his arm around you, so it wasn’t difficult for him to feel the way you tensed up a bit when the killer came on screen, nor was it hard for him to see the way your cheeks would turn pink when you heard his voice. An idea began forming in Dazai’s head, something dangerous that he knew both of you would like. He leaned in towards you, lips nearly brushing your ear as he whispered softly.

“My, my, belladonna, you seem to like what you see, hm?” he teased. Your cheeks reddened even more as you shrank in on yourself, declining to answer the question. “Well,” he continued, “what if I did something like that to you?”

You froze, then turned around to look at him, your eyes wide and unbelieving.

“Really?” you cautioned. He nodded, that signature smirk on his face telling you he was thinking devious thoughts.

“Really, sweet girl. Take you out to the woods where we can be all alone, let you go and hunt you down.” You shivered at his words, panties slicking up just at the thought. The two of you paused the movie and discussed in detail what expectations and boundaries you would have for each other, which is how you knew exactly what was happening when you received that call.

After you hung up the phone, it only took about five seconds for the phone to start ringing again, UNKNOWN CALLER scrolling across the screen a second time. You answered with a smile on your face, ready to mouth off again, but the voice on the other end beat you to it.

“You hang up on me again, I’ll gut you like a fish!”

You froze once again, the hair on the back of your neck standing on end. You knew this was a line ripped directly from the movie, but the way it was said sent shivers down your spine. The voice on the other end was rough, sharp, nothing like the Osamu you knew. For the first time tonight, you felt a stab of cold, genuine fear. The voice continued.

“Now, belladonna, I’m somewhere in your house. Do you want to guess where?” he urged. Your eyes darted around the room, trying to gauge whether Dazai could hide behind anything in front of you. But you’d hear him, right? That meant he had to be somewhere else in the house, somewhere he could call you from and you wouldn’t hear him.

“Tick-tock, sweet girl,” the voice on the phone purred. “I’ll give you just one guess. If you get it right, I’ll let you go. If you get it wrong, however,” he laughed darkly, “well, belladonna, you should start running.”

Your heart rate quickened, your palms slicking with sweat. Where the hell could he be?

“You have until the count of three, sweet girl.”

The kitchen? No, too open.

“One.”

The bathroom? No, you’d just been in there a few minutes previous and it was empty.

“Two.”

The dining room? No, you’d hear him from there. Ah! You knew where he must be.

“Three.”

“The bedroom!” you cried, just as the final number left his mouth. Then, silence.

“Tsk-tsk, oh, belladonna,” he sighed. “I thought you’d be better at this. How disappointing.”

Your hands shook, your blood like ice in your veins. You knew you had to run, but where? You guessed wrong, you had no clue where he was. You were going to have to take your chances.

You dropped your phone and started running toward the front door, immediately regretting not holding on to it, but knowing that it wouldn’t help you anyway. Focused more on getting out than staying undetected, you ran clumsily out of the living room into the hallway leading to your front door, your socked feet slipping on the hardwood. The front door was only twenty feet away. Fifteen. Ten. Five. You reached the doorknob, fighting with your other hand to unlock the deadbolt. Then, out of the corner of your eye, a flash of black and white, a rag thrown over your nose and mouth, wet with a faintly sweet smelling substance, and then darkness.

You awoke on the ground in a dark, unfamiliar clearing surrounded by thick forest, your hands taped behind your back. The only light afforded to you was from the full moon and the headlights of the dark SUV you assume you arrived in.

A man stood in front of you, slender and tall, dressed all in black and holding a large hunting knife at his side that glinted in the moonlight. His face was concealed by the traditional Ghostface Halloween mask. How original. How perfect.

You noticed that he’d been kind enough to change you out of your pajamas and into thick pants and heavy boots. A genuinely kind gesture, one that reminded you that you could truly trust the man in front of you. You held on to this feeling, knowing this would be the only mercy afforded to you tonight.

The man knelt in front of you, lifting the corner of his mask to reveal that he was, in fact, the one and only Dazai Osamu. His expression was soft, almost concerned.

“Hey, give me a color, angel,” he urged.

You took a deep breath. “Green,” you answered. Dazai’s mouth curled into a smile, one that once again sent shivers down your spine, and he winked at you. He readjusted the mask, completely covering his face again, and stood.

“Little bunny,” he purred. “Whatever are you doing in the woods all alone, hm? He knelt once again as he lifted his knife to press the blade to your face, softly enough that it didn’t break skin, but hard enough so that you could feel just how sharp it really was.

“Do you know what happens to little bunnies all alone in the woods, sweet girl?” You shook your head, not trusting your voice. “Sometimes they encounter wolves.”

You could hear the smile in his voice, it twisted your stomach but shot straight to your core all the same. He used his other hand to pop the button and lower the zipper on your pants, sliding his hand into your panties to press two fingers to your pussy, gathering the slick there. He sighed deeply, shuddering at the feeling of just how wet this was all making you.

“Oh, little bunny, you look so scared but you feel so wet,” he moaned, withdrawing his fingers to slide them into your own mouth. You took the hint and began to lick them clean, moaning at the taste of your own slick. He was kind enough to button your pants back up before flipping you over onto your stomach, caging you in with his arms. He cut through the tape binding your hands, just barely nicking your arm in the process making you gasp. He bent down to whisper in your ear again.

“It’s time to run, little bunny.”

He lifted himself off of you enough for you to scramble out from under him onto your feet, elbowing him in the process. He held his side, hissing in pain. “That hurt, bunny. I’m going to give you a thirty second head start. You better run for your life,” he growled. You weren’t sticking around to find out how serious he was, so you turned tail and ran into the darkness.

Which is what landed you here, stumbling through the forest on a twisted ankle, covered in scrapes and cuts from running through branches you didn’t see until it was much too late.

You stumbled into another clearing, your heart racing. You let yourself feel a bit of relief before you noticed the SUV in the clearing with you. The same SUV you arrived in, and the same clearing you’ve been running from. Dazai had herded you in a circle.

Your heart dropped into your stomach, knowing he couldn’t be far behind you. You scanned the tree line all around you, finally spotting the glint of metal to your right. You gasped, finding yourself unable to scream, and whipped around in the other direction, trying to get away as fast as you could, but the heavy footfalls behind you came closer all the same.

Two arms shot out from behind you, one on each side to wrap around your body. He broke your fall a bit, but wrestled you to the ground all the same, pinning you flat on your back with his arms once again caging you in and a strong thigh pressing between your own.

You finally found your voice, screaming in fear as you tried to worm your way out from under him. You worked an arm free and swung it at him in an attempt to get him off of you, but you only succeeded in knocking off his mask. The face underneath was almost as scary as the mask itself, Dazai’s eyes sharp and his cruel smile much too wide.

He pulled a short length of rope from his pocket, recapturing your arm and tying your wrists together in front of you. You opened your mouth to scream once again but he clapped a large, gloved hand over your mouth before you could even make a sound.

“Little bunny,” he taunted. “Looks like I caught you, hm?” He brought his other hand to his belt where he’d tucked his knife, pulling it free and raising it to your face. He pressed it to your cheek, making a shallow cut there, barely enough to break the skin, sighing at the tiny trickle of blood gathering there before removing the knife as you whimpered beneath his hand.

“I’ll do that again if you don’t keep quiet, bunny,” he warned. “I’m gonna take my hand off of your mouth. Are you going to scream, or can you keep quiet?” He took your fervent nodding to mean that you agreed to keep quiet, and he removed his hand.

Instead of saying anything, you immediately spat in his face, causing him to rear back on his knees for just a moment to wipe it away.

“You’re really starting to get on my nerves, bunny,” he said, flicking the wetness away from his hand. “I think it’s time you learn a lesson.”

He moved again, quick as lightning, to use his knife to cut a sizable slit out of your pants, waistband to crotch, before ripping them in half the rest of the way to hang loosely below your knees. He ripped your panties off of your body in one clean motion, and you flinched when the cool night air met your soaked pussy.

You thought he might cut you again, whining in confusion when he flipped the knife into the air, catching it by the blade. That confusion ended quickly when you felt him press the blunt handle to your pussy. You struggled uselessly against your bindings, but between the rope around your hands and the man never letting go of one of your legs, you weren’t getting away.

“Ah-ah, bunny,” Dazai teased. “Spitting on me wasn’t very nice, you know. I think you know that you deserve to be punished.” His voice was low in his throat, jarring compared to the usual gentle whispers he afforded you when he fucked you.

You shook your head, hard enough to make yourself dizzy. “I’m sorry! I won’t do it again, I promise I’ll behave- fuck!” Your pleading was cut off when Dazai pushed the knife handle into you in one clean thrust.

You cried out at the intrusion, fighting it instinctively even though it hurt in such a delicious way. Tears collected on your lashes as you tried to keep from showing him you actually liked this, but unfortunately Dazai knew your every tiny expression like the back of his hand.

“Oh, belladonna, you like it when I fuck you with my knife, don’t you?” He purred. You shook your head again with a whine, not trusting yourself with words at the moment. “Yes, I think you do, pretty. Come on, tell me you like the filthy things I’m doing to you. Tell me you love it.”

You cried out again, tears finally spilling from your eyes as you admitted, “love it, love it, love it,” chanting it like a mantra with every thrust of the handle.

He bent down towards you again to whisper against your ear. “I know, belladonna, I can hear how much you love it,” he murmured, his breath hot against your neck. Whether he meant your cries or the filthy, wet sounds he was drawing from your pussy, you didn’t know.

His words pushed you over the edge of a cliff you weren’t even fully aware you were standing on as you came on the handle, slicking it up along with your thighs and Dazai’s hand.

“Oh, what a good little bunny,” he praised, an edge of malice in his words. “Such a good girl, cumming on my knife like the dirty little thing you are,” he continued, pulling the handle out of you and admiring the way it now glistened with your slick in the moonlight. He stabbed it into the ground next to your head, confident he’d made you pliable enough to not struggle as he flipped you over onto your stomach, prone with your legs together between his own. You tried to push yourself up on your forearms, but a large hand square in the middle of your back kept you from even getting your hands under you with any efficiency.

“What are you-“ your question was cut off when he slid that same hand up to the back of your head, quick as anything to press your face into the mossy forest floor, muffling any protests.

“Shh, no talking, bunny,” he soothed. You whined, the sound still muffled by moss. He laughed, the motion driving his hips lightly into your ass where you felt his cock straining against his pants, and you were so tightly wound that such a small action made your hips buck just a fraction of an inch.

Dazai noticed your reaction, of course, driving his clothed hips into yours much harder this time, taking his hand off the back of your head and allowing you to cry out.

“Fuck, please!” you cried, not sure what you were even begging for, pushing your upper body up onto your still bound forearms, high enough to twist your head around and allow Dazai to see the tears still rolling down your face. His cock twitched in his pants at the sight, and he rolled his hips into yours again.

You whined again and his patience began to wear thin; you heard the clank of a belt and the rustling of fabric behind you and you jumped, squirming uselessly beneath him until you felt the head of his cock brushing against your ass and you froze again.

“Wait, wait!” you cried, hands scrabbling on the ground beneath you. He chuckled deep in his throat and used his legs to push yours even closer together, tipping your hips up to line his cock up to your entrance. He pushed it between your thighs, gathering the slick dripping down your legs before pushing it into your waiting pussy with a sigh, ignoring your pleas all the while.

He worked himself in, inch by torturous inch, the gentle way he reached up to pet your hair contrasting with the harsh way he drove his hips into you as you cried.

Halfway in, your eyes flew open, the stretch becoming too much.

“Wait! Not gonna fit, ‘s too big!” you slurred, fighting a bit harder to get away, still to no avail. “Too tight like this,” you whined. Dazai tangled his fingers into your hair, yanking you back so he could speak directly into your ear, his warm breath tickling your neck.

“Little bunny, you think it isn’t going to fit? You always take my cock so well, and now that this pretty little pussy is drooling down your legs, you think I can’t fit it in? You’ve never been this wet before, belladonna,” he murmured. “I’ll fucking make it fit.”

He snapped his hips into yours doubly hard now, sheathing himself completely with just a handful more thrusts that pulled a genuine wail from your throat, your mind screaming at you that the cock drilling into you was tearing you in half.

His pace was breakneck, his hips colliding with yours so hard they were driving you inch by inch across the forest floor, matting your tangled hair with leaves. You shifted your hips a bit, keeping him from hitting quite so deep. He didn’t take kindly to this, letting out a growl and letting go of your hair to reach out and yank the knife out of the ground next to you, holding it up to your neck and nicking the skin there, whether by accident or on purpose you weren’t sure. You whined as you felt a thin trickle of blood run down your throat.

“Keep those fucking hips where I put them,” Dazai growled. You whined at him to please, fuck, just slow down! and he finally relented, dropping the knife and switching instead to rolling his hips against yours, driving the tip of his cock directly into your g-spot and pressing his balls to your clit with each thrust.

The sharp pain slowly began to give way to pleasure as your cries gave way to moans, each sensation so overwhelming it caused your legs to shake. Dazai took hold of your hair once again, this time much gentler, the action causing a stir in your belly and already bringing you close to cumming.

“Fuck yes, little bunny. You like this, don’t you?” he teased. “You like it when I fuck you nasty,” he continued, punctuating his sentence with a particularly slow roll of his hips that drew a high-pitched cry from you, tears still rolling down your face. “You gonna cum, sweet girl?” he urged. “You gonna cum from me taking you from behind, on the ground like a fucking animal?” he urged.

Your eyes rolled back, your breath catching in your throat as your hips stuttered beneath him; Dazai knew you were close, you just needed one more little push.

“You want me to fill you up, bunny? Fuck yeah, I felt you squeeze me just now, of course you do. ‘M gonna fill that soaked little cunt up so full of my cum, leave it to leak out of you since you’re such a filthy girl.”

His final sentence and a well-timed thrust pushed you over the edge and you came hard, whole body shaking as you gushed around him. You soaked his legs as well as your own, the rest of your cum pattering on the leaves below you as you cried out his name.

He fucked you through your orgasm, the relentless clenching of your pussy bringing him closer to his own. Your arms finally gave out on you, your head dropping to the ground softly, but Dazai was kind enough to turn it to the side for you so that you could breathe.

“‘M close, belladonna,” he whispered.

“Osamu,” you whined, quickly becoming overstimulated, “I’m tired.”

“Shh, sweet girl, it’s okay. I’ll take care of you,” he soothed, placing an almost shockingly sweet kiss on your cheek, a sharp contrast from the way he’d just been treating you. His hips began to stutter, sloppy and almost clumsy, before you felt him shake above you, spilling his load into you as deep as he could get it.

Dazai shuddered as he came, his arms very nearly giving out, but he wasn’t through yet. He pulled out suddenly, the sudden friction on your already sore pussy making you’ll help. He clumsily pulled his phone out of his back pocket, readjusting to take a photo of his cum already spilling from your pussy, then another, a selfie with his fist tangled in your hair, yanking your head up next to his as he smiled at your completely fucked-out expression. Satisfied, he rolled away from you before he collapsed to avoid crushing you. Flipping onto his back, he pulled his jeans back up where they belonged before gathering you in his arms, resting your head on his chest and wiping away at your tears with the sleeve of his shirt.

“Such a good girl for me, honey,” he whispered, squeezing you tight. “Anything hurt?”

“A-ankle. . .” you whimpered, deciding the twisted appendage was your most immediate problem after your completely abused pussy.

He clicked his tongue teasingly, assuring you he had an ice pack in the car, along with a blanket. He stood, gathering you up in his arms before starting toward the car. The passenger door had been left open, so he placed you onto the seat, wrapping you in a blanket before wetting a rag from a water bottle, wiping away at the blood on your face and neck as you began to drift off.

“‘Samu?” you asked

“Yes, belladonna?”

“I love you,” you slurred. He laughed softly.

“I love you too.”

WEEEEEHOOOOO do u feel it? Cumming in the air tonight?

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ecoamerica · 25 days

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yourbittertarottruth · 1 month

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honestly i agree about going for money in life cause rich ppl get to do so much but us average folk are like too average to have a lavish lifestyle as theirs. heck id even do music if i had any talent not just for money but the things these groups get to do nowadays versus what life was like before social media came about is a huge difference. sometimes its just a matter of being either too old or not young enough to do something like that nowadays as most music groups seem to sadly be getting younger and younger, i also feel like for those who have actual talent honestly id just go for it but theres always smth like age or different circumatances or perhaps not getting the right opportunities either or being somewhat limited in options. i do think life gets to a point where theres fewer options the older you are as its best to learn from a young age in order to succeed and gain that money. idk these are just my opinions you can disagree if you want.

so many folk fretting about fs and whatnot when they really never tried being single like theres not much responsibility besides whoever else is in your life and again honestly i do not think it matters if we do or dont date an fs. i think people were fretting about jungkooks fs so much lately bc they didnt want to be single or wanted jk for themselves and even if idols do date it would never make their fans happy for their idols which is sad

the fact its even called a dating scandal in korea shows how narrow minded it still is like what do people expect idols to be doing? dating rocks? no one? but i also think there would be some uproar regardless bc of who they are or their title as idols. like they can date a normal non idol but their fans still going to be upset that it isnt themselves. ahh well they cant win :( hence why in a way im glad im not an idols fs lol thered still be many cons or in general consequences. i do think idols are a bit more open minded in terms of other cultures and what they might want in their fs but their fans should accept its just never going to be them

sorry for my rambling and sorry for your loss too hope u feel better soon <3 ^^

Hello! So, I don't remember when I said "going for rich people is a good plan" or whatever but I mean there's points to both sides. To accumulate that wealth you need to be willing to put the hard work in, even if you marry into it. If you're a child of a wealthy family, you need to put in the work to maintain that wealth and legacy. It's a chain of hard work - I personally think you can do anything whether you're old, young, etc. It's just a matter of your mindset and how much work you're willing to put in! These days, it's mainly more about the connections you have and the hard work you put in. Social media can make you famous/popular, but it cannot single-handedly generate millions unless your life goal is to be an influencer doing TikTok dances 5 times a day for a living. I think learning certain skills (e.g. budgeting) are important and can help you establish that wealth earlier on, but you can always teach yourself. I have no prior experience owning a business, but the skills I learned throughout daily tasks over the course of my life have helped me to reach a point where an idea is starting to blossom into an actual product. And I agree, being single gives you more time to work on yourself to allow people to enter your life without the situation feeling forced. You get to become more comfortable with yourself, you make life-long connections/friendships, you develop hobbies, stories to tell your future friends, etc. It's a time to establish yourself and experience personal growth when you're single, not stress over finding a new relationship!! I think each relationship, friendship, etc brings a life lesson alongside it - so it doesn't matter whether that person is the person you intend to marry or not. Just enjoy the present without panicking about the future, that's the best advice I can think to tell everyone as well as my past self <33 It is quite sad, a lot of idols seem lonely. Jackson Wang is a prime example of this, he's expressed this loneliness a lot. Idols have the right to be happy without their "fans" criticising them for wanting a future where they have a family or just aren't dancing on stage anymore. That is quite narrow-minded, I think it'd be better if netizens and delusional international fans took a break from Kpop content for a month and got some hobbies, worked on themselves and enjoyed life for a bit. To an extent, I do pity some idols FS that I read for. They seem very closed off/introverted and would not do well if the relationship were to get leaked to the media, especially if their information is also leaked and they are a non-idol. I just hope they will be alright and fans will be more accepting sooner or later ! Idols ideal types may not always be the kind of people they'll marry - but they do definitely know what they like in a person. Fans do need to accept that the most likely case is that it is not them! However, the industry thrives off of parasocial relationships. It's fine, no worries! This discussion has certainly been interesting, feel free to respond to this via another ask if you would like to. And thank you so much :] <3

#tarot #kpop #kpop tarot #pagan witch #future spouse #bts #freyreplies #bts army #bangtan #bts jungkook #jungkook fs #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #tarot future spouse #love tarot reading #tarot readings

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archer3-13 · 3 months

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I HAVE COMPLETED ALL OF THE STARTING CLASS QUESTLINES IN FFXIV, SO HERES AN OFF THE CUFF COMPARISON OF THE STARTING CLASSES

this will all be subject to opinion of course, but idk i wanna do it.

starting with, how do each of the starting classes play before you upgrade to the proper jobs?

not well on the whole if im being honest. i dont think any one of the classes stand out in the below 30 range, a consequence of being the basic building blocks of the game but still. from best to worst

1 pugilist: its fast, it hits hard, its gimmick is easy to grasp, and it gives you a good collection of tools to easily slip in to how people generally play this insane game. the only bit i have a problem with would be steel peak and the chakra gauge, as steel peak feels pretty useless at the pugilist level [it hits slightly harder then a normal hit, but your basic combo is just better in every way then the set up it needs].

2 lancer: rather plain missionary as far as a dps class goes, though i feel thats to its benefit in many ways as its real simple to figure out and use. plus javelins are a nice poking tool as everyone charges recklessly ahead. what brings the class down somewhat is that it has no aoe before dragoon and that it feels sluggish compared to something like pugilist. hit sound effect is deliciously cronchy though.

3 archer: pretty much everything you'd realistically want from the class honestly, it feels a bit sluggish at the start but when ya unlock the aoe shooting the class quickly becomes one of the best for handling large groups of enemies. its solid all around if somewhat unexciting at times sitting in the back shooting arrows.

4 marauder/gladiator: putting them together because they play exactly the bloody same below 30. thankfully despite the worry i had going into a tanking class, i found myself rather enjoying the kit. the most difference between the two i'll note is that marauder is more aggressive well gladiator is more reactive as far as tanking goes. but again, at the below 30 level they play exactly the bloody same.

5 rogue: id like this class more if its kit was a bit bigger. like lancer its lacking aoe before upgrade but unlike lancer its kit is way too small to offer much variety in how you approach situations. plus the hide and backstab stuff is only really useful, so far anyways, in story moments or open world cheese. regardless, the class is fast and hits well so its feels exhilarating to use.

6 arcanist: its kinda intimidating when ya first get hold of it, but i find once ya get a grasp on the class its actually one of the more fun ones to play at low level. i feel it hits harder and faster then other magic classes, you can do a lot with it, and getting the rhythm for its use feels real satisfying.

7 conjurer: being a low level healer feels agonizing, your squishy, you cant hit too hard or fast, and the micromanaging feels daunting especially when your first getting used to the class. and when ya get the hang of it, it doesn't feel quite as rewarding as other classes as your generally stuck to the tanks ass, and if your arent stuck to the tanks ass then shits gone horribly wrong. atleast people seem to appreciate you more.

8 thaumaturge: unlike conjurer which was cursed by design as a basic bitch healer, thaumaturge feels awful to play on the whole in my experience. ironically you dont feel like your hitting as hard as the arcanist, your slower, the switching gauge gets annoying, and ya cant really do anything exciting with the class. i dont hate it, but i do think if a new player is starting with it, they'd get a pretty aggravating impression of the game.

and now, onto the stories of the class questlines themselves! again from best to worst

1 rogue: massively benefits from being the late comer. its more extensive, more cinematic, the character writing well not anything extraordinary is still solid overall, and well the quests can be a bit lengthy they do offer interesting things to do.

2 lancer: gets to rest at the top of the pile less because of anything specific it does and more so because of how it stands out. the only class quest line that functions as an honest to god tragedy/parable/whatever ya wanna call it which elevates it otherwise smaller nature compared to other class quests. i dont feel foulques is actually all that interesting of a character, and if another starting class questline took a similar approach as the lancer quests then i feel he'd be far less memorable [as hes just kinda a self important ass at the end of the day, despite his tragic backstory]. Still, in the lancer quests case, simplicity is elegance in that the quests are straightforward and the story direct in its impact. inelegant definitely. unique, definitely.

3 conjurer: its okay. doesn't trip over itself, says what it wants to say, and has you doing things that arent too much of a hassle. i really like its ending scene too where... conjurer girl finally properly connects with the nature magic vibes for the first time, and remarks on how much more alive everything now feels. its euphoric in a way, and makes the process of getting to the end refreshing.

4 pugilist: dumb but in a fun way, the quest stories for pugilist dont take themselves too seriously and just have fun with what they're doing and in that sense it makes the pugilist quests a lot more fun then i think they would be otherwise. its not a gutbuster, but its intentional comedy that lands which is to its favour. some of the quests themselves can be kinda annoying to do though.

5 archer: kinda bland and it trips over itself getting to the end. i like what its trying to do, taking two characters who follow diametric beliefs about archery and who get at each others throats, only to come together in the end to emphasize the benefits of cooperation, cultural exchanges and crosses, and to tie to archeries literal history within gridanias context. elezen dudes a bit too prickly though without getting enough redressing on the matter, miqo'te girl is underwritten which makes her struggles not land with as much weight as they should, and i feel the plot takes such a sharp turn into the poacher bandit thing that the ending lands with more of a whimper then a bang. plus the quests themselves can be rather annoying. still, it was trying to do something interesting and didn't completely fail in that regard.

6 gladiator: i like some of the character dynamics at play and the quests dont suck. the story is too ambitious for its actual runtime though, so everything feels rushed and underwritten, and theres nothing really at play here that connects too deeply to what it means to be a ffxiv gladiator either in terms of themes, setting or even just on a functional gameplay level like all of the above classes. those characters are the only thing holdin it at 6 really.

7 arcanist: im not a big fan on glasses characters so a story heavily featuring them and generic genius academic type characters who prattle on about statistics and probability or what not... well that wasn't gonna be a slam dunk for me. the plot for these ones also just feels meandering, and like the archer plot it takes a hard swerve into the new thing it introduces at the tail end to its own detriment, only even more so. at the end of the day im just not sure what they were trying to do here overall. plus some of the quests are kinda a pain to complete.

8 marauder: boooooooooring. not only is the story a drag, but its characters are not interesting in the slightest save for like... one joke about marauders not being good at subtly. plus its difficult to have a story where your antagonistic force is a monsterous animal that doesnt speak human, unless you really well characterize the monster or have good characters on the side. and the marauder quests dont do either of these. finally what doesn't help is that the quests themselves are kinda boring to play.

9 thaumaturge: this one legit pisses me off, and it has everything to do with the story and nothing to do with the characters. im not a big fan of the characters mind, but they're fine. whats happening though in terms of character actions and plot movement is just stupid though, especially that damn jar with the devil in it. and to top it off, the ending feels anti climatic as fuck! the one brother well possessed goes around killing at least a dozen people, yet theres no remark on the matter after the possession and the intended theme to be take away from all this is "believe in yourself :)". fuck this questline.

#final fantasy xiv #ffxiv

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elvenbeard · 1 year

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Elven goes Comic Park Artist Alley 2023

Here it is, the post I threatened to make! It's gonna be long and full of ramblings, but I wanted to write everything down and idk, maybe you'll find it interesting to read! xD

So, this was my first time tabling at an artist alley. I had applied to another con near-ish me a couple of times in the past but never got accepted, so I was quite floored when it worked here at first try this time around xD I was hella nervous all the way up until the day I actually had to go and leave for some reason. Beforehand, I gathered some inspo at other cons for table setups and invested a little bit in one of those wire-shelf thingies, cause since it's very modular I would have also been able to make good use of it if it turns out artist alleys aren't my thing after all. I got a small collection of prints printed, I wanted to stick with a theme (namely, my original fantasy stuff, since fanart is a legal grey area and I wanted to be on the safe side - also, themes are nice!).

I managed to fit everything I needed for the table into two big Ikea bags and left on Friday noon for the con (we were allowed to set up starting at 2pm that day, the actual con starting on Saturday at 9am). I also set up two small shelf units for putting on the table upfront to save some time!

My cat was not impressed.

Setup and everything worked out without problems, the helpers were all super kind and welcoming. The only thing that was kinda chaotic was that the con organizers and the owners of the location (the artist alleay was in a whole new building, and the location overall is insanely pretty) seemed to kinda work against each other in a way xD Communication didn't quite work, and I think if we as artists and our helpers had received at least some kinda document or ID or a little coloured wristband that said "exhibitor" or something, it would have prevented a lot of arguments and delays. But alas, maybe next year!

Since I had a quite long drive and didn't wanna do that twice every day, I stayed at a hotel nearby. It felt a little like a mini vacation, which was nice xD Cost-wise, I would have ended up paying the same amount in gas that I paid in hotel fees.

As I said, as soon as my table was set up, all nervousness from before had kinda vanished and despite my days starting super early and ending very late, I had a blast overall xD Only thing is, I didn't sleep well (but I rarely do when I know I have to get up early, the anxiety of missing my alarm haunts me in my dreams).

My view for the weekend xD I love how creative some of the other artists' setup was, let alone how amazing their art was! There was a huge variety of styles and products, from prints to pins to handmade jewelry and plushies, and I didn't even get the chance to see it all xD

I guess this being my first table and the fear of accidentally missing out on a conversation with someone who likes my stuff I kinda didn't dare to venture very far from my table xD So I didn't see much of the rest of the con, but thankfully a lot of people found their way to the artist alley anyway! My personal highlight was having the ultimate, first-hand V experience. I randomly look to the right, and suddenly:

Johnny fucking Silverhand! Including an ominous duffle bag that might have said NUKE... or NIKE, not sure... (find him on instagram @_iggyizzy_). Had a short convo with him both days, he was absolutely living his role, and yes xD Best quote that'll stay with me: "Don't make me laugh, or my beard is gonna come off!" Cosplay problems, I relate so hard :D

Some other highlights:

Explaining my dark fantasy world and setting with the target group "21+" to some very enthusiastic young kids who liked the pretty pictures xD

Talking to other creative people and seeing their projects - also loved the fact that there were several others tabling for the first time, and they all had different approaches that I all loved!

In general being told my art is good by complete strangers who know nothing about it was a huge ego and morale boost xD And being able to talk about a very dear-to-me project I'm passionate about in general was awesome

Talking to likeminded people who got inspired what I was doing <3

Nerding about my favourite video games with people

People really liking my inktober stuff a lot, which I wouldn't have expected

Ending the con with a long conversation with two cosplayers/gamers/creative people discussing tabletop games, Dragon Age, and Cyberpunk for about half an hour :D Was such a nice note to end the weekend on!

As I said, upfront I read up on some random resources online, some dos and donts and useful tips for artist alleys. Some of the tips really paid off ("pack a little emergency bag containing all sorts of materials to improvise if need be") which was useful to adjust some price tags and stuff! Others didn't quite turn out to be as accurate, with my most expensive item selling best in comparison to more affordable ones. I also hadn't planned on offering doodle commissions (which I'd seen people do at other cons) but I will definitely do if I ever get a table spot again, cause they were quite popular. And they made me realize once more why I miss doing commissions and will get back into them soon here, too!

Kinda negative things that come to mind regarding the whole experience are really minor actually, as I mentioned already the slightly chaotic organization here and there, but overall there were always good workarounds to that available, too. And I think/hope next time will work out better! A personal annoyance (but that is just my life in general xD) was getting misgendered quite a bit cause I'm not really passing, and me being too scared of irl confrontation in that reagard to correct people XD But I'm working on it. On the other hand, also had a really nice convo with a fellow queer dude about the abundance of pride flags and stuff, which was fun xD

And what I also learned is that the majority of people who do this regularly work Monday-Friday jobs... which makes sense, that enables you to go to cons on weekends, cause you always have the weekend off. Me, I get one weekend off per month at random (I could request specific days, but they're never guaranteed). So yeh... time to find a better dayjob I guess, if I wanna do this professionally xD Or luck out with my day off requests.

Anyway though... my personal takeaway and what I'd do differently next time:

I enjoyed the whole thing a lot more than I would have guessed

I'd make my stand more visibly lgbtq+ themed, to get people interested in queer fantasy art and writings that would walk past generic-looking dark elves

Also I'd add somewhere that this is an original project I'm working on, cause most people I got talking to assumed "oh this is just dnd stuff" and were pleasantly surprised when they learned "no, this is actually a whole setting and story"

I'm gonna wear a name tag with my pronouns on it (I wanted to do it this time but chickened out at the last moment, cause I'm just with one toe out of the closet irl and got too scared XD one challenge at a time)

I did like how my table was set up overall though and apart from some minor tweaks would set it up like this again

I would like to try to walk around more and get talking to other artists more, but I was too glued to my seat and table and everything (also, mild social anxiety, but everyone that I did talk to was so kind, so yeh XD one challenge at a time!!)

So yes. So much to my report on being at an artist alley the first time XD Would love to try it again some time, cause I had a blast, and cause of the stuff I'd like to improve on.

I still have a bunch of leftovers, too, posters, postcards, and a few booklets... But for now I'm gonna set up a Ko-Fi-Shop (which I'd wanted to do for a while) and put some things there for the time being. Once it's up and running a post will follow!

And if you read this far: thanks for reading ♥ xD

#personal stuff #drawing stuff #elven does artist alley

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odysseys-blood · 5 months

Note

then, can you give us a list of games you recommend?

i sure can thank u for asking! i'll try to make it a bit more brief but under my top 4 i'll add a readmore with a longer list in case u wana read that and not the like. Odysseys Blood Introductory Game Pack.

so starting with the top picks:

1. The World Ends With You

i think a lot of people have a similar feeling about this game. you play as neku, recently deceased kid with no memories no friends and a whole lot of attitude and your main goal is to survive the reaper's game for 7 days to get a chance at living again. he trusts no one and believes in nothing but himself and being an extremely depressed middle schooler, i related to him but watching the way he changes over time and learns to open himself up. its kind of an eye-opener and i've seen the same though echoed through a lot of different people like me who wanted to really give up but this game does take you by the hand and oush you to try again. make connections. live and whileit may be a struggle its alright because you always have the option to keep going. also the ost is AMAZING and the art style is very unique and the story and characters captivate you so well. idk where id be without this game honestly. preferably if you do want to play its best to play the og on a ds (can be done w/ a hacked one) but if not its on switch and theres a sequel! which is ok but its not as great as original twewy

2. Tales of the Abyss

ToA (or tota as most ppl tag it but i stick with toa to match the tags for other tales games. which are also good esp vesperia i just wont add it to this list bc its already gonna be a long one). what stood out to me a lot with this game besides the main cast who i love to bits, is its theme on religion actually. when i first played toa i was still in the church and the main theme of religion in toa can be boiled down to devotion is all fine and good, but don't let it rule your life. the fate that is written out for you doesn't rule you, you make your own choices. even if they seem futile, you still don't have to take your fate sitting down you can kick and scream and fight as much as you want towards another path if that truly is what you desire. and that resonated with me heavily. this one's a little more crunchy looking from its age but i still really like the graphics (and i played on 3ds lol) and the environments in tales games are all so stellar its such a good game. and oh my GOD the party interactions. tales games usually do really good at having main casts that are "6-8 people who have no business being stuck together but they are anyways" and i think the part for this one will always be my favorite. also last little bit but theres so much about identity in toa as well and the way the main character, luke, is written with his own struggles about feeling like his own person has gripped me to this day. ive heard this one is hard to find a physical copy of but like. again shoot me a message if u have a hacked 3ds

3. AI: The Somnium Files

i've been here since day ONE (not exactly but theres a youtube page for one of the characters they were using to drop some info before the game released and i was watching while that was still going so. close enough). i am obsessed with aitsf. my icon is even the main character (edited a bit and w/ stickers). this game doesn't have combat like the first to and is strictly a visual novel and i adore the way it explores the central theme of love, especially familial love and its many shapes and forms and how sometimes even through blood it just doesnt. exist. but that doesnt mean you dont deserve love. someone will be there to give it to you and if not you take it however you can. this is much more apparent in the left half of the game which to this day has made the mizuki route my favorite. this one's eveywhere (playstation, steam, switch) and goes on sale frequently on steam for like $7. this one also has a sequel which is pretty good but again i think the original is much better

4. Heaven Will Be Mine

honestly with how many people i see daily gushing over poetry and writing im surprised more dont play hwbm. its a space mecha visual novel set in the aftermath of a war where earth sent children to go fight an existential threat which may not have even existed and now all of those kids are adults who have grown up without the shackles of society on the earth which js funny enough, finally calling for them to come back. the writing is beautiful and fun to pick apart and if you're a fan of prose i definitely think you should give this one a try. double of you're lgbt in any way this game is good for its writing about queerness especially if you're trans. please play hwbm. this one's on steam and doesnt have a sequel game but the devs, worst girl games, also made We Know The Devil which i like less than hwbm but its still pretty good! that ones got gay religious trauma

continuing is just a list of more i like in no specific order. some of these may be a bit cringey but i like fun

Witch's Heart

listen i know theres some strange bias some ppl have gainst rpgmaker pixel games but like. 1) odd but ok 2) witch's heart is such a beatiful story i need you to throw whatever biases you may have abt pixel games RIGHT NOW. my header text comes from this game. it means everything to me. do you have a wish you would kill for? does your wish mean more to you than another's? how much will you let your selfishness control you. for a game that looks so silly it made me cry a lot. this one's free on vgperson's translated game list and theres still MORE BEING MADE. SO MUCH GAME. FOR FREE. LOOK AT ME. ITS FREE. and heartwrenching.

To The Moon/Finding Paradise/ Impostor Factory

this description is short but similarly a pixel game like the previous rec. its more understandably heavy considering you play as eva and neil who fulfill the wishes of the dying in their dreams. its sad. i cried. i cry a lot dont i? these r on steam

Just Shapes and Beats

a rhythm game this time! it's got a cute little story mode but it is just a dubstep rhythm bullet hell i like playing. did you know i was a dubstep fan in middle school well now you do and im sad skrillex is mid now. its on steam and switch. not a good pick however if you are sensitive to flashing lights or have epilepsy im sorry. i believe there are safe modes but i havent tested them myself to see how well they work

Paranormasight

paranormasight is a horror visual novel illustrated by gen kobayashi who, if you can tell from the linework on the sprites and in the portraits and what have you, illustrated for twewy. i'll be real i was ready to screan and cry 30 minutes in but its not actually that scary im just a wimp. this one could be seen in a similar vein with witch's heart in the idea of: what would you do to fulfill your greatest wish. how many people would you kill. because you will be killing. on steam and switch.

Bustafellows

for being an otome bustafellows rly got me. while being an otome it is still plenty silly but heavy with fun characters. also i think this is the first time ive really liked an otome mc they tend to be very waify and kinda annoyingly written tbh but teuta is a VERY fun character and not at all a stand in for a self insert. or at least she isnt good at being a self insert which is fine to me because i love a main character that has their own personality. a guy dies like 10 minutes in. this ones on steam

Mamiya

i seem to like a lot of visual novel games with time loops and dead main characters and this is another one. very dark but i love it to bits. also this one requires a warning list i haven't seen anywhere but i made one myself here. its on steam

IVE RUN OUT OF PICTURES. SO I CANT ADD ANYMORE BUT QUICK LIST YOU'LL HAVE TO LOOK UP MORE OR JUST ASK ME ABT ANY OF THESE:

Lethal League Blaze

Hatoful Boyfriend

Fallen Hero: Rebirth (and its sequel Retribution)

Code Vein

shout out also to What in Hell is Bad. not for kids at all this one is explicitly 18+ but for being a goofy eroge otome it has. gripped my by the nuts and it has not let go. ive only been playing like a month help.

#cliff finally answers #anon ask #long post #just a handful of my beloveds but i did choose ones where like. these are games i chose myself #things that werent rly friend or mutual influenced

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bl4cktourmaline · 6 months

Note

halooo~ i saw the matchup event and i’d like to give it a try! may i request a project sekai matchup? (both matchups if it’s ok!! both normal and yan) thanks a lot and i’ll be awaiting my date 😋😋

preferred gender: both works!

personality traits:

im an ambivert that’s pretty emotional.(i cry easily…) i can be quite self-conscious and sensitive at times even if i don’t realise it myself. im also a nostalgic person that keeps memories dear in my heart!! i love looking back to the past to giggle about the stupid old times. i’d say im pretty lazy myself, but if i ever decided to do something, i’d try my best to do it well. i’m kind of the mum of the group, as i have a tendency to care for others around me. i show my childish side with those i trust however. i’m the type to live in the moment and it’s my motive to try not to leave any regrets.

hobbies:

im on my phone quite a lot ,, i like gaming and reading manhwas. i also write a diary and play the ukulele! idk i’m trying to find more hobbies but school doesn’t seem to allow me to.. (there’s. so much school work….)

love langauge:

quality time for both giving and receiving!! i think time is crucial in any relationship. i also give words of affirmation and i think physical touch is cute!

(not so) fun facts:

- i’m deathly terrified of insects. of any kind. the only one kind that i’m brave enough to kill are ants

- i love rollar coasters but hate haunted houses. i live for the excitement of rollar coasters but i hate being jumpscared..

- i love doing personality tests.. i kept sending them to my friends i think they’re done with me /joke

- i’m a realist but i’m also capable of making up tons of scenarios in my heart for my friends

- i love analysing ppl close to me

things u look for in a person:

i think i tend to get along with tons of ppl but id love someone that’s responsible! i want someone that will love me for who i am and accept my flaws. i wish that we can both rely on each other. i’d also like someone who’s treats me specially compared with the outer world ..?!?

things u don’t look for in a person:

irresponsible people. those who always wishes to be in control of a particular solution one-sidely. and people who takes things for granted idk😞

i’m sorry this is so long!! thank u for listening to my ramble fr and getting to know me 😭😭 my brain suddenly malfunctioned and i forgot how to speak proper english … but dear mods, i hope u both have a nice day and wishing u the best~ rmb to take care of urself!!

"૮₍ •⤙•˶|💌 ᴮᵉᵉᵖ..! ᵒⁿᵉ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˎˊ˗

✉! .•°⟡˚ ༘ ʸᵒᵘ ʳᵉᶜᵉⁱᵛᵉᵈ ᵃ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʸᵘᵉ !

⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ...yue is typing... ♡

↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ !

꒰ʜɪɪ ʜɪɪ, ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ?꒱ 🎐~*

❛❛,,𝐎ᵖᵉⁿ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃⁱˡ ᵗᵒ ˢᵉᵉ ʷʰᵒ ⁱˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠᵃᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ!,,❜❜

▶• ılıılılılılıılılılılı. 0 ⁿᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸⁱⁿᵍ... Project Sekai!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ... Aoyagi Toya!♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Toya adore your caring and hard working nature but he also thinks it's cute that you seem to have a childish side like he just wants to cuddle with you all day if he could!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Game Night is one of your night dates with him, being competitive in a fighting or racing game while leaning on each other with a blanket wrap around you two? Definitely one of the best sweet moments!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He saw that you write a diary for personal use, he thought it's would be great if you two share a diary and leaving comments for each other to read later on

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He like reading like a lot, so if you would recommend some good manhwa to him, he would definitely try them out since it's your hobby, it's definitely mean it's an interesting read if it's coming from you!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘ♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵖᵃⁱʳ ⁱˢ...Otori Emu!♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Emu is always quick to notice your moods, her first idea was trying multiple methods of cheering you up because when you're smiling is the moment your beauty shine the most !

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Amusement park dates are a must!! It's practically her second home and the fact you like roller coasters? Even better! She always wants to drag you to many thrilling rides because it's so much fun when she hang out with you the most

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Emu love taking pictures with you every single moment you two are together, she wants to cherish those sweet little memories with you so the two of you can look back on those memories with so much fondness !

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ You can play an ukulele ?? She freak out because she didn't know you were good at playing the instrument, Emu would definitely keep bothering you to teach her how to play so she get more quality time with you, it's a win win for her!

✿ — ↠ NOTE : It's okay xD I don't mind rambling at all ! I personally like rambling since it's help me with your matchup results hehe~ I hope you like the results <33

#at25's encounterment #pjsk x reader #modmizuki #otori emu #aoyagi toya #emu otori #toya aoyagi

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chocolatemilksmoothie · 2 years

Text

King's Tide - and now we wait

MAN this was a LOT huh? can't wait til next week's e- oh.

this whole ep had me so tense my back hurts so that's nice

King scoffing at Philip saying "you can trust me" and that giving him away was funny to me ngl

Willow really is the best, she managed to keep a level head

I like how she and Gus kept looking after King through the whole episode. he is everyone's little brother <3

babiesss

"there's always a way to help, you just gotta look for the right opportunity" and he did

MITTENS awww

"Paradise awaits" he tells them, all these people he will kill with no hesitation

"with this spell declared, promise I'll be back" I'M FINE

we can see then that all other coven heads were on Belos/Philip's side, but I suspect no one will be after all this

the way they foreshadowed the arm thing tho

a lil smooch for Hooty :'(

back when things were simpler. you realize they've all known each other for super long huh

yes I DO find it hilarious that Adrien Graye looks like he hasn't slept since Gus messed him up

I think it's neat how for the Draining Spell Philip drew on the ground like back when he used glyphs to warp

something truly nightmarish about seeing people cheering at first, then be scared and collapse as the spell slowly advances

and he really just. leaves. throws the collector out and is planning to leave all these dying witches behind

hilarious that he's wearing that Colonizer Fit™ but even funnier that Luz called him out on it, I could stare at this expression all day

he's like wait do people not wear these anymore???

Kiki is quite pitiful, always seeking the approval of this guy who just wants her gone

"have you as my right hand? I'd sooner cut off my whole arm"

so when Luz gave him the sigil I really thought he'd do that. turns out it was someone else's sigil arm that would be yanked off

damn he really said go die in a hole and Kiki was like sure why not

Philip feared the Collector so much he betrayed and discarded him, and now he's against him. if he had freed them maybe they'd still be somewhat on the same side

then again, idk if this man knows how to interact with anyone without lying and manipulating so there's that

I love them very much

Darius stopped attacking when Healing Coven Witch threatened Eber !! they are besties !!!! how dare they

yes I noticed everyone is shown captured but Steve is NOWHERE in this entire episode

"you too have a strange intuition with these, it took me years to figure that out" his brother, who also loved magic and the Isles, could probably use glyphs a lot easier than Philip, who hated everything about it. the Titan can tell

"you're such a hypocrite" YES SWEETY CALL HIM OUT ON HIS MANIPULATIVE ASS

Witch Hunter General, people are gonna bully him super hard on twitter I can already see it

SHE WAS SO SMART WITH THE GLOVE SO SMART

can we imagine some sitcom of a teenage bi latina girl trying to introduce an egomaniac witch hunter from the 1600s to the Year of Our Lord 2022

Goop Belos design is horrifying I love it

that whole sequence from King's pov. the muffled sound, the chaos as the adults collapse and you can see Hunter's arm all glowy, everything destroyed. oof

"WE don't belong here" "I'M NOT LIKE YOU" yessss

"you guys are LITERALLY the coolest" YEA THEY ARE

the Collector is SO scary and chaotic. Neither witch nor demon, a child from the stars, seemingly has powers that affect reality like no one else's, and yet behaves like a child. How do we stop someone like this

Gus saw Philip's memories too right? seems like it

still trying to manipulate mansplain manslaughter your way to Hunter's loyalty huh, you horrible old man

HE SAID "CALEB" RIGHT? WE ALL HEARD THAT RIGHT ???

"where the failures end up" this messed me up there were so many of them. so so many

the Collector couldn't see King while he was wearing the collar with the symbol

he found the symbol where he hatched. his father was keeping him invisible

"a game called the Owl House" I am so normal about this

King saved everyone but we have no idea at what cost

yeah the Raine and Eda scene? uncalled for. amazing. painful

the Round Boi broke. I repeat, the Round Boi broke!!

god these are children

*SPLAT* goes the witch hunter

did you see Hunter's face tho? how many conflicting emotions from seeing THAT just happen

"King! :D" me too Collector

all of them joining in King's whole "game" with their nervous smiles and poor Hunter's in too much pain so he just *whimpers in agreement*

I love the little jester design

also he really just looked at Philip's centuries long evil plan and went "okay! :) boop!"

this whole part had me so stressed I was like who's gonna cross the door and who isn't AHH

both King and Luz made difficult choices, and once again they're separated from those they care about :( DANA

it's raining. for some reason that hurts me

ANNE BOONCHUY? sorry I had to

Vee! will she join the Mentally Scarred Kids Squad

god these are children (x2)

they are hurt and cold. Hunter holding Gus he is Older Brother now

Camila: *pulls out adoption papers*

and those credits MAN season 3 is gonna be wild

I imagine our group of kids will have to investigate Philip and his brother, so we'll go visit the museum dude to get info.

also what Gus saw in Belos' head might not only help there, but also lead to Hunter having to reveal the whole grimwalker thing

sad season 3 is short bc having shenanigans on Earth with these 5 could be delightful

idk if I want human disguises or Luz can just tell everyone they're really enthusiastic cosplayers or something

maybe seeing the human realm might lift Gus' spirit a lil bit

We didn't get to meet Luz's palisman, but hopefully they're ready to hatch soon

Camila will slap Goop Belos with her chancla with such force he'll never come back

also I do hope we get to see King, the Collector, and all the adults that were left behind who are all safe and sound of course ha ha ha, dealing with everything that happened and probably looking for a way to get the kids back

in conclusion, I will not stop thinking about this episode ever. my kids and I are traumatized

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magnoliamyrrh · 11 months

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and another thing that chronic pain brings that i find is less talked about and that people without chronic pain can't wrap their head around, is the emotional pain and just straight up despair of feeling like your body is useless, knowing you'll never be able to do the things you want to that "normal" people can do.

^^^^^ Exactly

especially when it hits you when youre young. even if and when you manage to get used to the pain itself (tho even "getting used to it" takes a prepetual toll) theres still always that part of it too. of feeling trapped in a body that seems so weak and fragile, and there being things you want to do that you used to be able to at some point, or dreamed of being able to do that you just.... have to accept you either cant, or that if you do them theyre going to make you exponentially worse....... it feels like being forced to miss out on so many things, and its so damn hard and mentally draining and scary and,,,,yea,, a lot of dispair hits you. its hard to accept

i always lose it when i realize how much i can't rly do anymore. even when i had chronic pain some years back and my joints were going to shit, id still push myself and walk for hours upon hours almost every day, it was relaxing and one of my favourite things to do.... now there are many times when walking for 30-40 minutes a day or several times a week feels like it absolutely cripples me. such seeminly low effort things take it out of me for days on end.... i cant play guitar anymore because my hands cant handle it. when my pain was worse, thank god its better now, i couldn't draw anymore... theres so many hobbies i wanted to try, but cant because some part of my body wouldnt handle it. many times ive been too dizzy or exhausted to cook, despite it being one of my favourite things to do.... i had an entire weeks-long mental breakdown and spiraled horribly when i realized i couldnt really ski anymore, despite being very, very good at it. id rather die than think i could never ride horses again, but i know there is a high chance doing so will ruin my hips...... the list is fucking endless

it feels like some sort of nightmare you just cant seem to wake up from. past a point damned be the pain, but realizing your body just cant handle or do shit or doesnt have the strengh, or that the pain is just too sharp, its just... fucking horrible.... it almost breaks you more than the pain itself past a point. and idk personally its been a nightmare for me to see how fast a lot of my health issues have progressed. i was certain i wouldnt be as bad as i am now until i was in my 30s.... but in just a few years, its gotten so much fucking worse

..... its one of those things that i guess you cant do nothing about but accept...? and try to make the best out of??? because getting endlessly upset about it doesnt help, and being upset only feeds the chronic pain. but its very hard, especially when daily things in your life constantly remind you. i still havent been able to figure out some sort of way or mindset to do that at all

i assume from this ask you also struggle with this? im very sorry ❤️🧡❤️ it truly is a lot to handle to say the least. thank u for this ask tho, helps to feel less alone, and if u ever need to vent to someone who gets it ur more than welcome to 🌸 i hope this week will be easier on you and that youll feel a little bit better, and i hope with time you'll maybe be able to find some things which make it easier to bare. god knows what the chances are, but maybe with all the science nowadays well both have the insane luck for some cure or actual treatment, as far fetched as that seems at times

#also pls tell me if u want this deleted i didnt know if to publish it or not

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izepeche · 2 years

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I am new to the strange obsession, but oh my gosh your works are amazing. I just want sinister strange to do whatever he wants and for me to say thanks afterwards.

I dunno what to say omg thank you thank you thank you love 🥺✨ im honestly surprised ppl still show up on my blog lol

I have so many things I wanna do but with my condition i can’t do much but i should be fully cleared to go home by tuesday ✨

but i agree. i was never really into Strange until this movie. i mean i love his design and ive drawn him many times before but idk he just didnt speak to me before now.

i have the filthiest shit to write and draw i am so vile and feral because of it but so is he. they knew exactly what they were doing when then designed him omfg. i have a HC that he’s really into bondage (including self bondage) and its killing me. its killing me that i cant write it all rn.

you did not ask for this, so i apologize in advance. but ive had this little thing rolling in my head so -

Sinister seems like he used to be a professor and its driving me crazy thinking about him in a AU being the low toned sort of teacher who everyone respects. never raises his voice (and doesnt have to) to get his pupils to behave because he’s also silently terrifying. you can hear a pin drop in his class, even when its a study period and he’s sipping his coffee and reading a book. could probably make a student cry without even trying, without even looking at them (tho he will glance to see the tears) and would secretly enjoy it because he’s a bloody bastard. takes no shit and is clearly passionate about teaching and I just wanna see him in glasses and at a desk fiddling with papers? like look-

In this Professor Sinister! AU id say he definitely smells like dark roast coffee and old books. wears a sort of musky, old timey smelling cologne with spicy citrus notes. keeps to himself, doesn’t really interact with the other professors, but may strike up a short conversation with maintenance or the cleaning staff in the evening. even though he’s a strict man he sports a more casual appearance than one would think. im thinking just regular slacks n shoes, rolled up sleeves to his forearms, usually wears a black turtleneck or dark button down shirt with a few too many buttons open if the AC is busted (again), thick salt and pepper hair slightly tussled as its been run through by his fingers because these fucking kids can’t even double space their essays how did they pass high-school.

crystal eyes lingering a bit too long on an unsuspecting pupil who is always well behaved and attentive. openly teases them to the point of hot embarrassment when they ask to be excused to the restroom, even though they asked so nicely and they really have to go. but ,” ah, ah, not until i say so.” “you know you just went 10 minutes ago” “you took too long last time”

purposefully writes comments on their papers ‘see me after class’, even if its the most well-written dissertation he’s read all year. he’s rather knowledgeable and will always find something to offer correction on. as ‘punishment’, he tells them to help him prepare for the next class by writing what he tells them on the chalkboard. this is when his usual low key tone, shifts to something else.

The professor not so subtly stares at them, scrutinizing their handwriting and how their dainty wrists move under his command. no, Professor Strange definitely does not get off to how they struggle when he asks them to write higher, up on their tip toes and a bit wobbly. he’ll make them erase a whole line if they make a single mistake in their penmanship (which is easy because of how tired and cramped they are getting). he’ll cruelly mock them, “are you getting distracted?” “we can try something easier if this is too hard for you” “why are you stopping, you’re not finished yet” “i mean, Jesus, it looks awful. but i guess if that’s the best you can do-“

and if he’s feeling particularly snippy he’ll snap a ruler on his desk to startle them, possibly messing them up further, barely bothering to stop the smile dancing on his lips. he still throws in a smart ‘thank you’ when theyre done that definitely doesn’t make up for his brash behavior. its hard to tell if his harsh interactions are serious or a ploy of flirtation, but its intense enough to get under the skin every time that they are completely flustered when they gather their things to leave his room.

its wrong to be tormenting his own innocent pupil like this- many would say the poor thing doesn’t deserve it and the professor's intentions aren’t noble. but its not wrong if they keep coming back, right? not that he gives a damn, nor gives them much of a choice; he’s not exactly a model on morality. besides, a man can have a little fun, no?

i just- love him. i love him i love him

as soon as i saw him i knew it was curtains for me. he is utter perfection because sinister is just so fucking broken and deliciously unhinged and loosely disguised as a quiet gentleman. i love the fact he’s self aware enough to know he’s a filthy bastard but he just. doesnt. care. and like great! neither do i sweetheart. id beg this man to break me, and like please sir call me all the names.

#sinister strange #dsmom #can you tell ive been waiting to be able to type again #but also thank you ✨#im practically vibrating with need #im depraved #delusional #but not dehydrated #mcu #dr strange #sinister strange au #strange x reader

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beef-unknwn · 2 years

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alright. i said some stuff on twtr that i wanna say here too plus some other stuff (id under the cut) (btw sorry if the id sux im typing it out myself and ive never done that before)

ID: A thread of posts by Twitter User: Kai Unknown (me) about his opinions on the relationship dynamic between Marinette/Ladybug and Adrien/Chat Noir from the series 'Miraculous Ladybug'

The thread goes as follows:

i feel like the adrien/chat and marinette/ladybug dynamic should've been more like this:

okay before we actually talk about their dynamic lets talk about their individual dichotomies, starting with mari/lb

marinette is clumsy and can be seen as unlucky, but despite this she makes the best out of bad situations. ladybug is the embodiment of good luck and she never really has to worry all too much about things going wrong (put a pin on ladybug here)

adrien was born into luxury and can be seen as lucky but he wants to escape. hes a bird in a cage and his time as chat allows him to be free. he feels more like himself as chat kinda like how batman feels about his identities

mari is adriens first friend outside of chloe and he sees that they are oh so different. he starts to admire how she seems to find light in dark places and maybe its more than platonic..

mari, on the other hand, just sees him as the popular guy she'll never be able to be with so she doesn't really care much about him outside of being his friend. (a role reversal, if you will)

however, as ladybug shes pressured to save the day. she doesn't feel like herself as ladybug, its a persona, a chore. she doesnt want to be ladybug but she has to be and when she sees chat be more passionate about hero work SHE admires HIM; therefore becoming more motivated

yeah, yeah it's just a reverse of their dynamic but i feel like this simple change would've made their characters more interesting idk

(End ID)

gosh that was tiresome to re-type. anyhow uhh

due to twitter's filthy character limits i wasnt able to fully show my point. but thanks to tumblr's virtually infinite character limit i can!

so like you read, this simple role reversal could really make for interesting dynamics.

Adrien was raised by virtually no parents. His only friend ever was Chloe. I feel like he should've been more snooty like her but feel way bad about it. And soon he meets Mari who's like "Woah! Okay, jerk." but she's still like "Here. Have a macaron. Jerk (be nicer next time)" and Nino is also there "Yo, dude! Way harsh! Tone it done, why don't you?" so he starts becoming a better person (way faster than Chloe) Nino being super chill is like the best influence ever. And Mari? aka The Really Nice Bakery Girl Who Gave Up Her Umbrella For You (You Jerk)? Yeah, he's got good influences all around.

But.. That's not quite the end of his story, is it? He still wants an escape from this caged life he's been living. I mean, sure he goes to school and photoshoots and fencing but he never gets to go out when HE wants to. He still has to follow a routine. Until...

Chat Noir. It's his chance to break out and fly and see all sorts of things he could only glimpse at from the window where his cage sits by. He finally gets to feel the breeze in his hair without it being manufactured for a commercial. He gets to jump around and do stunts without it being shot take after take for some brand deal. His chains no longer bound him. This is he.

Now, Mari (sorry for shortening her name all the time it's literally 1am and I have school) She's the local bakers' girl. She's clumsy, kind and looks for the best parts in people. Although, this girl's got a bad case of imposter syndrome.. She's too hard on herself even though she's probably the best person in town, ever. Alya being her bff is like the best foil to this. Mama hypes her up better than a cheerleader squad.

Her imposter syndrome only grows worse when she is appointed as ladybug. She's the most humble dumbass ever and outright refuses to use the miraculous until whoops! The town is seriously in danger, sis. We need to MOVE.

When she sees Chat Noir so happy doing hero work, saving citizens, helping people; she's reminded that this is a BIG responsibility but she gets to help. She still thinks she isn't worthy of being Ladybug until Chat tells her something along the lines of "I don't think I'm worthy either. I'm kind of a jerk actually haha... But now.. I get to be something else.. something better. I get to be a myself.. I get to be.. a hero"

A hero. Someone.. people notice.. right? So, if she's Ladybug, people will notice her. Right? It's not about attention or fame or anything she's just.. never really felt.. Important. And now she's realizing that 'Oh shit. Right. I'm a hero now and heroes are important. I'm important. I'm.. Important..'

So yeah anyway essay over I'm sleepy go home, everybody.

#kai says some stupid shit #mlb #miraculous ladybug #i fucking hate this show btw #its so annoying #but i want to fix it #the way yall wanna fix your pathetic men #let me indulge okay?#long post

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ecoamerica · 25 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

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sereniv · 2 years

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vegans have to remember that from a non vegans perspective, we are a mariad of different definitions most of which are negative. and that within those definitions, is us being people who want to take away something that is part of their life

I think thats why ive gravitated more towards focusing on the non vegan aspect of veganism than the full on Earthling Ed approach. As in focusing on tradition, religion, and the possible and practical part instead of just trying to switch to more plant based eating.

Because its easy to spit the facts and provide resources and find alternatives, but i feel theres no active support and conversation for people who "cant go vegan". there is, but its nothing concrete and big. just individual conversations

Like someone who has a religion who requires the killing or use of an animal, or a tradition or a culture.

I just feel like these people are alienated, even though they are talked about in reference AND there are vegans who fall under that category of course. but because white/cis/straight/rich/abled types of ppl tend to get more focus, it drowns out everyone else out and even though i KNOW veganism is diverse sometimes it doesn't feel like it. then again, im only on tumblr

but i also feel the alienation can come from the non vegan too, with no willingness to have a conversation and figure these things out. but its also understandable like i said in the first paragraph.

obviously if the talk was with me, id have someone tell me their situation and it would be more about them talking and me listening, since i wouldnt be in the same identity as them and therefore cant have that "same hat" convo people have within their own community

- but also there NEEDS to be a place or network of different marginalized identities so that non vegans can talk with vegans of their same culture/religion/etc.

and i mean im just on tumblr so im limited in what i see. so maybe this exists?

idk how to explain this properly. i just never see anyone double down on these, and focus on people who's best includes animal products, like i do (not saying im better for doing that, i just feel odd one out)

i feel that the more symapthy and understanding for those situations would help drive out the people who claim to be vegan but arent. to get rid of people who try and say veganism is 100% plant based, who shit on others and are racist with their veganism.

to really drive in the importance of "possible and practical" and checking in with yourself and being honest with yourself.

idk there just needs to be...MORE.

i feel there is an emotional/mental/spiritual aspect not talked about enough.

i was watching Earthling Ed and this one guy said that the only options on campus were tofu and it was gross. now with the rest of the video, this guy probably doesnt try hard to find other options.

But i sympathize. But Ed said that theres always options and basically said that he could choose the tofu

But im thinking, what if the only option was mushrooms. I either eat that or dont eat. Now i wouldn't eat animal products, but mushrooms make me gag. I would dread looking forward to eating. it would ruin my day. it would drain me, and thus it wouldnt be practical for me to keep trying to eat it bc of them varying affects it has on my health (mentally or emotionally)

which may seem extreme, but you wouldnt get to say that someone in that situation can just suck it up. there has to at LEAST be sympathy and understanding.

now for someone else if they chose chicken instead, is it worth the life of a chicken? No, but it also shouldnt be at the expense of your wellbeing. This is why we tell people who have ED's who cant eat plant based, to focus on their wellbeing. because its all goes off of situation by situation. Its not about "the life of a chicken for aomeone who has an ED" its about doing your best within the situation you have, and to focus on doing what is necessary for you, and try and avoid unnecessary harm.

And if youve exhausted all other options then i dont think anyone can blame you. Because who is anyone to say that its possible for you to eat the tofu? Whos to say its possible for you to do something you say you cant do? We have to trust people with what they say and work with them, even if they are lying.

Thats why there needs to be symapthy and encouragement of self reflection. And to do that often. check in with yourself every month and ask if maybe you can change something that you couldn't before

idk. i just never see ppl focus on this as much as i do and i keep wondering if im like idk. wrong for it?

and to be clear, when i talk about religion or culture im talking about the individual. Because within every religion or culture i assume, there are going to be people who view it differently. Religion and culture can be personalized while also being a community. i mean cultures change and religions change and its usually bc of one person. this is NOT to say we should aim to change an entire culture or religion, just simply stating that just because someone is from a religion or culture doesnt mean they cant..idk the word..go over their views and stance and see if theres room for change. like "do i actually believe this, or would an alternative work?" and sometimes they come to the conclusion that there can be no change, and sometimes they find things they can change. both are fine

So while culture and religion as a whole are not valid reasons to cause unnecessary harm (unnecessary being individually defined. this is about animal use only), individuals within that culture or religion get to decide whether its necessary or not

Because otherwise youre talking about pushing colonialist ideas and genocide, if you are to say that killing an animal isnt necessary for someones spiritual connection to their religion or culture. Or to say that wearing an animal isnt necessary for a ceremony. Because even though a life is taken, and it might not seen necessary to you, why do YOU get to decide for that person?

2 people within the same religion can have 2 different approaches to it, 2 different views. same with culture. i mean thats how religion and culture change over years. how traditions change

I just wish there was a place where ppl could talk about that with others like them, to get out their worries and their frustrations and also help establish even, a stronger connection by finding out what truly is a necessity for them.

which sometimes will be using animals.

and i support that. and i think someone can still be vegan even if they use animals if they deem it undeniably necessary.

idk maybe ill make a discord server. bc this bugs me. no slight at any other vegans, but it bugs me that non vegans have such bad experience with veganism (whether its actual vegans or not), and i feel that connection is needed.

#vegan #vegan ref #vegans #veganism

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anqelically-archived · 2 years

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hello hello !! may I request a JJK MATCHUP ? tq <3 I am all caught up w/ the manga

I'd like a MALE match please and I use MIRROR(ED) PRNS ! u can js search it up in google since im tryna keep this as short as possible khdjfg </3

I am an AQUARIUS sun, VIRGO moon, and CAPRICORN rising as well as an ISTP (MBTI) and this is not stated in the rules but I am a type 9 (enneagram)

now onto PERSONALITY, uh lets just say that I dont give off intimidating vibes like,, AT ALL </3 one of my friends literally told me that a leaf gently hitting their face is scarier than me, idk anymore fjjkhd

just by that description alone, u can tell that im considered a v NICE person, I do try my best to come off as FRIENDLY / WELCOMING as much as possible :D

uhh another description is "GOLDEN RETRIEVER VIBES, head empty and kinda stupid but heart vv full" </3 I like to play around with my friends a lot and like,, be a bit of a bully to them FJSJKHD /lh but it's okay, its js tough love 😔🤞💘

u could say that im a PEOPLE PLEASER now that im typing this out LMAO im vv PATIENT & will rarely and I mean RARELY get mad at my loved ones <3

uh this is the more negative stuff since I feel like giving most of my positive traits is unfair, need to balance it out w/ the bad stuff yk ahah🏃🏽‍♀️ I suffer from gifted kid burnout & I overthink </3 I tend to be like,, too hard on myself and I often think that "mistakes = failure" its just the way I was raised, im trying to get over it dhfjkdgf BUT ANYWAYS I kin miwa & yuta (he's the love of my life btw🤞) if it helps :D

LIKES : coffee in the morning, rainy/cold weather, spacing out and daydreaming LMAO, warm hugsrgsgs <3

DISLIKES : arguments, violence, flying insects, eye contact (I cant keep eye contact for the sake of my LIFE, I dont necessarily dislike it but eye contact is js so,, awkward SJKHD)

LOVE LANGUAGE ; physical affection & quality time 100%

in a relationship, id rlly like the fact that fact that somebody considers me SPECIAL and all of the POTENTIAL ROMANTIC MOMENTS idkkjdhfs I think I read too much romance novels, man

uhh since this is jjk, id dislike the constant worrying abt them NOT COMING BACK HOME ifykwim </3 but aside from that, nothing else

how would they react to me staying up 'til like 2am ? im an insomniac and am vv curious FJSHBD

what if they saw my drawings of them ? idk, I tend to draw the ppl I find pretty a lot and if I were to be in a relationship w someone, my sketchbook will most definitely be filled with drawings of them

possible dates that we could go to ? 👀

anddd that's all :D I rlly hope this isn't too long ? I tried my best to keep it short fhskhjsd </3 anyways, I hope u have a great rest of ur day <333

YOUR MATCH IS… MEGUMI FUSHIGURO !

MANGA SPOILERS BELOW

NOTE: i’m going to be honest and say that i usually skip the whole sun, moon, and rising thing ✋🏻 so if you’ve sent me a match-up, i may or may have not actually searched stuff about that specifically. anyways, i think your match-up is a good length! it’s not an essay so i appreciate it bestie 😩🙌🏻‼️ a fun little thing is that you remind me of an oc of mine in some ways ☝🏻

we all know at this point about megumi’s sort of preference in a partner— someone unshakable and kind (pretty much). he sorta needs a partner that would balance out his “darker” (idk how to word it 💀) attitude

being with megumi is special itself. megumi isn’t the type to open up easily, and people usually have to worm their way into his heart. but megumi let you in willingly, and he doesn’t regret it

a trope i would put you and megumi with would be classmates to lovers or former classmates to lovers, given that being a jujutsu sorcerer isn’t something you’d seem to do

megumi tries to spend as much time as he can with you but considering his job as a sorcerer, it can get hard at times. in the end, you two make it out alright

if it’s after a rough mission that he’s coming to visit, he’d just want to lay down with you in bed in your arms (my bb needs comfort)

a situation of this would be when yuji “died”. megumi would silently show up at your doorstep with a downcast expression and you know immediately that he needed you

in a sort of affectionate way, megumi would call you an idiot for always daydreaming and zoning out. he’d lightly knock on your head, “cal? you there?”

coffee in the morning is always a must whenever he comes over. something he’ll appreciate so much is if you make him some black coffee, just as he likes it

he is so hesitant to let you come over to the technical school and meet everyone, though. you met gojo in middle school and the man literally embarrassed megumi in front of you 💀 megs doesn’t want a repeat

he’s never found himself to be disappointed in you. megumi knows that mistakes are made, especially because he’s made multiple himself

sometimes megumi can be caught off-guard when he finds you awake at 2 am. he knows that it’s something you can’t really help, but he has a heart attack whenever he sees you standing in the dark in the kitchen at 1 in the morning (mans just wanted a cup of water before going back to bed ✋🏻)

since you worry a lot about if megumi will come back alive from a mission or not, he sometimes tends to hide the fact that he has a mission. especially when it’s something like shibuya, he hid it at first but the truth was bound to come out when news spread all over the country

dates i can think of are; cafe dates, art museum dates, or just simple indoor dates where you two eat and waste the hours away talking or watching something on television

megumi smiles when he finds out that you’ve drawn him (you know how hard it can be to make this boy do so???). the day he finds out, he’s simply by your side more than usual. “you know i love you more than i say right, cal?”

NAVIGATION

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk matchups #aqmatchups #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi

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nothing-ramblings · 4 months

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you know, i get it. sometimes ita hard not to be a selfish prick. its not that i think everything is about me, i dont, but when you've been consistently feeling shit for ao long its hard not to look at every bad thing, including minor inconveniences, thinking "well ofc this is gonna happen why wouldnt it?" and maybe you know its not about you. logically i know its not about me. sometimes people's healing journey makes them realize they have to leave an environment that hurt them, and that might include cutting contact qith you even if you're friends. doesnt mean you fucked up. its just unfortunate that your friendship reminds them of a bad time in their life. and as a friend that best ypu can do is be proud and supportive that they're finally finding themself and choosing their own happiness

but it rlly fucking sucks to realize your existence has a negative effect on someone and it's not even for something you did, just the unfortunate circumstances of how you met.

so yes ofc i wish them the best and i want them to be happy and be themself and stop hiding behind a mask even of that means we wont talk anymore

but its pretty hard to NOT be selfish and add this to the pist of things ill use o make myself feel awful for existing. Cause everybody leaves ig. At least this time they had the decency of communicating with you and being honest. But at the end of the day it is what it is. People leave. They move on with their lives. Some of them will drop you overnight w half assed excuses and shatter your heart like a crystal glass as they do. Some will just go quiet. Maybe it's nothing, you just lost touch. Maybe you ask them what's going on because its the first time in years of friendship w basically no contact the whole year. And they'll say it's nothing, but continue not talking to you, which makes it seem like ur being ghosted but you cant even be sure and the limbo of not knowing hurt more. And sometimes people just need to do whats best for them. And you're associated with a bad memory. So they have to go. And its gonna hurt even if you understand and even if you respect them. Of course it's gonna hurt. It's hard not to, when any friendship fades, but all the more so when in the same year people keep leaving and you decelop abandonment issues.

idk where im going w this. been a shit year and my self esteem keeps dropping. if i didnt have pets and one person who i know would be hurt by it, idk if id have survived 2023 tbh.

Existing feels rather pointless right now

#blank rambles #personal

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kath-artic · 6 months

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moar

since im on the topic i wanna play around in this space a little more

growing up i was a very private person. sure, my best friends knew about problems at home and my struggles with mental health, but i never talked to them about the things i cared about or the people i liked. love was such a valuable thing that to talk about it frivolously seemed sinful and just downright disrespectful to the concept. it had to be protected. this is unfortunately why i stayed in my first relationship for so long. i foolishly thought that i was somehow about infatuation and frivolous love. i thought id know it when i found it and that id never let it go, so i couldnt just admit id made a mistake. regardless, friendships to me were always about being too in the moment to care about anything else. friendship was about silent understanding and play. most of my high school friends were like this. we never talked about our lives outside of school save for one or two times, but we all knew we were all going through something so we'd all keep each other busy all night. we wouldnt leave the school until the janitors kicked us out and then we'd wander the town. every now and then someone would break down and cry and we'd sit there and hold each other, but talking about it hardly seemed necessary at that time. it wasnt until the dam broke for me at the end of my senior year that i started really opening up about stuff. that was my brief Therapy phase. i became obsessed with talking about the trauma id gone through and didnt know how to be someone outside of it for a while, but that was a horrible person to be for me. i feel bad for her and it was important that i was her for a time, but im glad im not anymore. she taught me how to be open, but every time i opened up i exploded and it never felt all that fulfilling. in fact, i found that me "trauma dumping" was just me trying to answer everyones questions before they started prying so theyd think i had nothing to hide. i was afraid of people knowing me at that time. what's more, the concept of meeting new people was exhausting at that time because to know me at that time was to know what id been through and it was hard having to go through it again and again.

leaving fixed me. ive said it before but it remains true. ive realized i love a blank slate and ive realized that knowing me is an innate quality some people do or dont possess in varying degrees. ive realized my story is mine and that i generally like being private because i really only like sharing when i think i'll be understood or when i think it's necessary to expose people to new possibilities. i like knowing lots of people, i like knowing them deeply and intimately, but not necessarily constantly. i dont want people to run dry by dumping all their is to know at my feet at once, which is why i think space is so necessary for me. old friends reaching out is such a joy because theyre a new person at this point! new friends are such a joy because they tend to feel as though theyre old friends! i just like for my circle to be full of as many people who are distinctly themselves as possible and i like to learn something. i know sometimes i have to be the teacher, but i vastly prefer equal exchanges. there are few people i never grow tired of, but they tend to also be the ones who think similarly and likewise go off on their own from time to time. we maintain a healthy distance even though we could just as easily talk forever and ever and never grow bored. i think thats the kind of relationship i can have only one of at a time and its something i reserve for romatic partners. a romantic partner is someone who is eternally interesting. someone i can be close to and still find more new things about. i still like to have space, but the closeness wouldnt make me squirm. we could talk forvever and ever and maybe we just will. idk. but there it is

#personal rant

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hollylachat · 1 year

Text

mole game 01

today is february the first,

i am the most motivated person in the world right now i am literally god, i am having a prophetic episode and everyone is my pawns

i am going to learn the unity game engine as one with such an overload of emotions and a psychotic mind would do. I believe the best therapy is to just give urself work and convince yourself it is actually really fun.

why do i want to learn a game engine, because i want to make a game, for gaming. I'm a bit of a prophet gamer, like a holy spirit that makes video games for all the poor peasants

I have chosen unity game engine because the internet is made for gnomes, and im not picking no engine made and spread around for gnomes, im no gnome. I will rip out all of my body hair if someone tells me to try out gadot game engine, i shouldnt even be hearing those words, just make it easier for me, im a beginner how do you expect me to learn on that shit.

the internet makes things so much harder for me to learn this shit, makes it impossible to know who to trust, youtube does not help, ive tried in the past to learn but youtube video tutorials do not help in the slightest, ill just find my brain going into college lecture mode and just write down code and not even understand anything

unity docs are also chronically impossible to read, its like a different language, its like they thought that they needed to restate all their type functions and shit in their docs and not say anything about what they do besides what they output or something, even though you already get this information from your IDE.

you can scrub over here, rant is over ill get into what I have done

i followed game makers toolkit tutorial for unity which idk if i should be like embarassed to mention considering my distaste my tutorial videos, i dislike this video for like spending alot of time explaining what code does like as if someone who doesnt know c-sharp at all isnt going to have like a really hard time after watching the video. but its like mildly encouraging to learn on your own and find your own problems and whatnot to work on.

I made the dumb flappy bird clone and made like a pencil character and like some book assets which was probably the fun part, really cool seeing your own art be in a video game.

here is flazzyjohn completely preserved as a gif on the tumblr servers

the only two things i even bothered to do after doin all the shit in his video is make the wing sprite change when pressing the space key and like that sucked, unity animation system looks like its going to be something that i will hate the more i use it, and i made it to where when the walls/books spawn they like randomly choose what sprite they are out of the 3 book sprites i made

brackeys unity videos which people seem to praise in the youtube comment sections really feel like dumbbed down youtube content in the meanest way possible, i refuse to accept that the answer to my problem is that you used a function that you made in a different video and actually i should watch that, just flash the code on the screen or something, its literally not worth my time

ok now i will exclaim my prophetic invision for my incredibily intricate first real game that i will burn out on sooner or later, you cannot convince me otherwise

either that or ill backout and make a snake clone or something

BUT then ill work on it

I want to make a 3d game, i know dumb, it would be like shitty low poly if that rationalizes it in anyway (it doesnt).

I have one idea that im kinda hyperfocusing on right now thats really simple but really complex and already hyper engineered in my head.

im imagining like a really dumbed down mining game wit like gumdrop-shaped moles with big handheld drills

(ignore the chibi robo they wont be in the game)

so ur this little mole guy and theres like a mole city wit like people to talk to or whatever (they would exist just to give u fetch quests and dumb dialogue) and the fetch quests would consist of going down the big elevator in the center and heading into the ever changing mines or something lore something lore

made this ms paint drawing for a friend in a jiffy

the like splotches of colored areas is supposed to be what minerals looks like on a map you recieve everytime you go into the mines, its always the same level, it just resets through like shifting rock or something, thats why there will be a time limit of like 2 minutes or something idk to grab ur shit and get out.

the map would be start out like one of those like lottery ticket scratch off things, and u gotta scratch it off like really fast.

i guess like the point is to like implement alot of weird stuff to do on the map that takes up your time inside the mine, since the main game concept is kinda simple

a sense of progression could be implemented through items given by the npc's that let you do more weird stuff with your map, like reveal hidden minerals and shit

i got like two ideas rn:

ones just like a pencil that you have to hold down and wait for your mole character to draw out a line to where you currently are, because the map wouldnt like show where you are.

another where you have like a limited use item where you could put like magnetic dust that sticks to a certain part of the map that would tell u where a secret mineral is or somethin.

im thinkin like this can only work in a 3d game for like selfish and learning reasons, i have like a few inspirations to go off of too

i had to play like 30 minutes of this game for like screenshots but like this shit, fairly oddparents shadow showdown encapsulates the gamecube era of games, i also played way too much of it like 3 years ago because i thought it would be fun to speedrun and wasted alot of time on it. Mostly just taking inspiration from the incredibly simple icons and text boxes.

Woooo i lovwe animal crossing i love making fake relationships with animal people, growing up with animal crossing did not impact me in the slightest, not a single thing. Ive always really liked the ui design in animal crossing, i will be ripping it off in some shape or fashion, i will decide if it will be shameless or not at a later date

Main issue with making a 3d game is that i gotta learn blender and thats makes it difficult because i also have to learn how to make a 3d model like look good

Anyways I dont expect this to be done for awhile, but im hoping the pressure from starting a log, generally just to complain and complain about how unreadable documentation can be.

This is supposed to spark the start and I will be opening a unity project and trying make a cube move with WASD whenever i have free time and im not drawing.

#game dev #computer science #dont steal my ideas i will make you feel really bad #like send you really personally attacking mail #completely psychoanalyze you and pick out everything that makes you insecure #mole game

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