#the batkids are coming

[dragonpyre]

Secret Robin au

Bruce was on edge for the rest of patrol

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#secret robin au #jason and steph both come from harder backgrounds so they'd be the most vocal about this type of thing imo #also Jason deserves a croptop jacket #batdad #batman #spoiler dc #red hood #stephanie brown #jason todd #bruce wayne #fanart #fan art #my art #comic #dc #dc comics #batfam #batfamily #batkids #batsiblings

[bruciemilf]

Every time the batkids get into legal trouble (damaged property fighting a villain, entitled old ladies being mad they didn’t get saved first, Damian sueing a classmate for proprietary rights over an OC he drew in class, the ONLY person they want to be represented by is Harvey.

Sure, TEHNICALLY he can’t practice anymore, but this is Gotham, and the law system is made of tangled wires. If you pull the right one, you’re in the clear.

The hardest plaintiff is Jason, by far. Ironically enough, he has the simplest cases.

“Okay, so, HOLD ON— I have to TELL you to get out of the way when Bane throws an ENTIRE truck your way? If you can’t dodge death, it deserves to have you, period.”

“Lady, I’m not going to save your weird ass dog/frog hybrid science experiment , — who BIT me, by the way, — over an entire bank full of PEOPLE.”

“Oh im sorry I forgot to pay for the overpriced 12 dollar latte while RUNNING FROM WILD MANEATING PLANTS. “

Harvey, pouring a violent amount of vodka in his coffee: your honor, my client just needs a nap probably

#dc #dc comics #text #jason todd #harvey dent #batkids #dc two face #batman #text post #Bruce hardly cares tbh — he’s just sitting at home with a cucumber mask. Dami sleeping on his chest. ‘did you win already? no? alright. #come back when you do. if you don’t — send Jay and that’s it. ‘

[batfamhyperfixation]

Jason: Ew, this tastes gross *turning to Dick next to him and holding it out to him* try it

Dick: What? No way, you just said it tastes gross, why would I try it?

Jason: fine *turns to Tim on the other side of him, holding it out* try this

Tim: *takes a bite* Yeah, disgusting

Damian: Oh please, Drake's a baby, let me try it

Tim: *passes it to Damian*

Damian: *Tries it* Eww, yeah, no, this is gross

Steph: *Takes it from Damian, trying it* makes me want to vomit, try it Cass

Cass: *Takes a bite* yeah no, please never get this again, you want some Duke?

Duke: Why not *takes a bite* Meh, it's not horrible, it's just not good

Dick: Well now I feel left out

Duke: *hands it to Dick*

Dick: *takes a bite*

Dick:

Bruce, in the background: *slaps his forehead* why are they like this

Jason: You wanna try Bruce?

Bruce, dad who feels bad when he says no to his kids: *pained smile* *through clenched teeth* Suuuure...

Dick: *hands it to Bruce*

Bruce: *takes a bite, spits it out into his napkin* Awful, truly atrocious, I'm going to sue, that was so awful

#they are all smart #but when put together they can be dumbasses #they go from like that big brain meme individually to like 2 braincells collectively when put together #im basing this on me with my own siblings #so i know this is just how siblings are #one is like this tastes bad then hands it to another person to try and that just continues til we all have tried it and agreed #but they are also biased cause they all have alfreds cooking regularly so they try something else and are like wtf #alfred spoils them rotten when it comes to good food #batfam #batkids #bat family #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #bruce wayne #incorrect batfamily quotes #it was gonna stop at bruce being like 'why are they like this' but then i was like... wait a minute #bruce is definitely the dad who cant say no to his kids #and the second part was born

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Tim is the kind of person that thinks "Alvin Draper" is an unoriginal fake name.

Jason is the kind of person that chooses "John Doe" as a fake name and goes "yeah, that works".

#based on canon #shout-out to all the fics that have him use “Peter” as an alias #because yeah he would #Jason is not very creative when it comes to names #even his vigilante name was stolen #granted Tim named himself after a restaurant #batman #batman comics #dc #dc comics #tim drake #jason todd #timothy jackson drake #jason peter todd #red robin #red hood #batfam #batfamily #batbros #batkids #batsiblings

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce: No.

Damian: Father-

Bruce: NO.

Damian: His name is Steven.

Bruce: Absolutely not!

Damian: We weaponize fear, father. Steven will strike fear into the hearts of Gotham's criminals.

Bruce: You cannot ride a moose into battle!

Damian, astride Steven the Moose: He only lets me ride him. We will not need to worry about Steven turning traitor.

Bruce: Moose are not domesticated animals, Damian, you can't keep it.

Damian: Todd isn't domesticated either and you kept him.

Jason: Damn straight I’m not.

Bruce, sighing: Jason, you’re not helping.

Jason: And you expected otherwise?

Tim, walking in: Is that a moose?

Bruce: *sighs*

Tim: Huh. What’s its name?

Damian: Steven.

Tim: Cool.

#batkids #damian wayne #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #batfam #Steven the moose #batmoose #bruce and his serial adoption tendencies #Damian and his serial animal adoption tendencies #he comes by it honestly #Steven the moose lets Jason near him #Damian feels betrayed #Steven the moose lets Alfred the cat ride around on his back #Damian is so proud

[thief-of-eggs]

Tim coming out to his brothers

Tim: Guys…. I’m bi

Jason: Bi polar?

Tim: Well, yes actually, but-

Dick: Bi lingual?

Tim: Also yes, but-

Damian: Bipedal?

Tim: Yes- what? Why wouldn’t I- ok now you’re just messing with me-

Duke: Bicycle?

Tim: [with his face in his hands] Bisexual. I’m bisexual guys

#i am so sorry #i thought of this while thinking about how i headcannon tim to be bipolar #i just had to #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #batman #chaotic batfamily #chaotic tim drake #batbrothers #incorrect batbros #incorrect batkids #batkids #duke thomas #damian wayne #bisexual tim drake #coming out #dc #batfamily #batfam

[introspectivememories]

#if you're bear its so easy to manipulate tim drake #all bear has to do is bat those gorgeous brown eyes at tim and tim is putty in his hands #the batkids learn about this and they start using bear to get tim to do things #dick: hey bernard‚ tim refuses to stop working‚ can you come get him? #bear walking into the batcave‚ sitting down on tim's lap and wrapping his arms around tim's neck #bear batting his eyes and pouting: baby come home /please/? the bed is so lonely without you #tim stands up immediately and changes his clothes at flash levels of speed. jason retches behind them #jason: god they're disgusting #dick smirking cause he's knew it'd work: they're cute! and you're just mad cause you're not getting laid #tim knows exactly what bear is doing and he tries his hardest to resist but alas #the big brown eyes always win #dc #bernard dowd #tim drake #timber #timbern

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

#memes #come and get it #dc memes #batman #bruce wayne #batkids #only in gotham #in universe memes

[darkcollectorruins]

Batfamily HC

Adult Damian being a fashion icon and absolutely killing it at the Met Gala

#batfam #damian wayne #batkids #gay damian wayne #he’s dating jon #“you can’t come jonathan you’re too basic” #damijon #jondami #batfamily

[violent138]

By the law of being the worst to your siblings, the various Bat-teammates are probably stunned whenever they see their respective Fearless Leader devolve into the pettiest, whiniest piece of shit around whatever sibling they're presently beefing with.

#Roy: I can come back for those plans if you two are busy #Dick and Jason (in unison): It's fine! #This is that thing where your siblings alone can unlock some secret monster you hide under a cover of respectability #They unmask your inner Patrick Bateman #Or something even messier #batfamily #batman #dc comics #Batkids #Batbros

[crybabylulu]

I MISS WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES! 😭😭

#batman #jason todd #red hood #damian wayne #batfam #bruce wayne #batkids #batsiblings #tim drake #bat girl cassandra cain #cassandra cain #stephanie brown robin #stephanie brown spoiler #stephanie brown #barbra gordon #dc oracle #duke thomas #dick grayson #damian al ghul #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne is daddy #wayne family adventures #batfam wfa #wfa #wfa webtoon #batman wfa #come back to me

[thecruellestmonth]

Does the mass-murdering criminal Jason "Red Hood" Todd canonically support the death penalty?

No, I can't find evidence that Red Hood supports the death penalty.

There is a difference between murder (illegal) and state-sanctioned killing (legal). Red Hood commits unlawful homicide. The death penalty is lawful homicide. Jason is a murderer. The death penalty is not legally considered murder. Commissioner Jim Gordon is a decorated military veteran, not a murderer.

Committing violence ≠ wanting the government to have the right to commit that violence. Batman and his allies brutalize criminals; they don't necessarily support the state brutalizing criminals. Red Hood kills some criminals; Red Hood doesn't necessarily support the state killing criminals. Catwoman doesn't necessarily support the state committing burglary. Et cetera.

The death penalty is administered by the criminal legal system. Jason does not like the criminal legal system (see some of his run-ins with the police). He grew up as an impoverished child who didn't believe in the system, he was raised by Batman to believe that vigilantes can make a difference that the system can't, and he became an adult criminal who still doesn't believe in the system. He's not interested in using the criminal legal system. He isn't interested in giving more powers and privileges to an abusive system that has wronged him and the people he cares about.

When Jason started up his villain business, the death penalty was legal in Gotham City. (See Detective Comics #644, The Joker: Devil's Advocate, Batgirl 2000 #19, Punchline #1.) The death penalty was also in place during his Robin run. Jason didn't argue in favor of the state having the right to kill prisoners, and the death penalty never addressed his complaints about the status quo.

Jason has rescued people from wrongful* imprisonment and the death penalty. Again, based on his own firsthand experiences, he has many reasons to believe that the system is broken. *Some of us would argue that locking any people in prisons tends to be wrongful and inhumane by default, but we could choose to accept the standard premises of crime fiction as without endorsing it as moral instruction.

Jason Todd is a criminal: a mass murderer, a terrorist, a villain. He does evil. He doesn't represent or support the legal system. He probably has the least political capital out of all the Batfamily-associated characters. He doesn't promote the death penalty. He commits murder—illegally, as a criminal, state-unapproved.

Some recent comics related to the topic:

Gotham Nights (2020) #11 "One Minute After Midnight", written by Marc Guggenheim

Red Hood and Nightwing team up to investigate the case of a man wrongly convicted of murder and sentenced to be executed. Both of them disapprove of how the broken criminal legal system botched this case.

Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #8 (2023), written by Matthew Rosenberg

"You familiar with Hannah Arendt's concept of Schreibtischtäter? Desk murderers? It's people who use the state to kill for them, so they don't have to get their hands dirty."

#Jason Todd #Jason Todd meta #Batfam meta #Batfamily meta #Batfam #Batfamily #Robin II #Batkids #Batman Gotham Nights #DC Robin #Red Hood #Joker The Man Who Stopped Laughing #Matt Rosenberg #canon vs fanon #fanon vs canon #panels #RHATO 2011 opens with Red Hood saving somebody from being unjustly executed. Don't read it. It is bad. Just trust me. #Jason Todd is legally dead and not registered to vote. #I could make a much longer post about Jason's general contempt for authorities but let's limit it today. #thecruellestmonth #I know the 1992-2010 comics purists are going to come after me for using recent comics. #I could make a much longer post about Post-Crisis Jason Todd's attitudes about the police and the state. #But that longer post still wouldn't have much to say about the death penalty-- #--because--AGAIN--there is NO evidence that Jason supports the death penalty! But there is plenty of indirect evidence that he doesn't. #Do the words ''system''‚ ''state''‚ ''criminal''‚ and ''legal'' look like real words anymore? #ID in alt text #described #image described #ID in alt #image description

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it #like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting #why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol #and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim #*him looks of loving grief? #why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!' #why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts' #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #clark kent #dick grayson #jason todd #bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim #like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way' #dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up #batdad #text

[batfamhyperfixation]

Tim and Bernard go to Wayne Manor for a family dinner after the events of this post (this is Bernard's first family dinner)

Alfred: *opens the door for them*

Bernard, following Tim in: Hello Sir, nice to meet you, Tim has told me so much about you *shakes Alfred's hand*

Alfred: *beaming* nice to meet you too

*Tim leads them into the dining room where he goes over and hugs Bruce, Bernard following at Tim's heels before shaking Bruce's hand*

Bruce: nice to finally have you over for dinner Bernard

Bernard: thank you for inviting me

*Tim interlocking his fingers with Bernard as he leads them to where they are going to sit*

*other members of the family trickle in before dinner is starting, only for Damian to sit down right across from the two of them wearing a 'Mothman Convention 2017' shirt that looks suspiciously like the one that Bernard seems to have misplaced after the events of the previous post*

*Bernard almost chokes on his drink when he sees it. He had this plan that no matter what he would be the nice normal completely-sane boyfriend tonight, so he is slowly losing his shit cause how do you casually ask your BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER who you have never officially met if he STOLE and is wearing the shirt you got at a MOTHMAN CONVENTION without looking absolutely nuts*

*Bernard is over here losing his cool, almost knocking his cup over and jumping every time someone starts talking, finally Tim just gives him the little eyebrow raise that translates to 'what is your problem babe?' and Bernard does the come here a second hand motion*

Bernard, whispering to Tim: I think your brother is wearing my shirt

*Tim's eyes snap across the table at Damian's chest and he recognizes the shirt instantly. He gives Damian a piercing glare to which Damian just does the one face*

Said one face:

Bruce, the ever keen detective, clearly noticing this whole ordeal: Is something wrong

The entire table goes quiet and turns towards Tim and Bernard, Bernard's eyes go wide as he looks at Tim, he shakes his head like a 'no please don't' gesture at Tim*

Tim: Damian stole Bernard's shirt

*Damian's eyes go wide as he looks down at his shirt then back to Bernard and Tim; the rest of the table is reading the shirt and when Bruce asks 'what's Mothman?', Bernard shrinks in his chair, face completely red*

Damian, not wanting to explain that he thought it was Tim's and how he raided Tim's closet for 'premature hand-me-downs': Tim and Bernard are living together

Bruce, turning so fast to Tim, suddenly in protective dad mode: Excuse me?

Damian, sealing the deal: and they sleep in the same bed

Bruce: EXCUSE ME, NUH UH, THIS WHOLE BOAT THING IS OVER YOU ARE MOVING BACK INTO THE MANOR, NO I DONT CARE IF YOU ARE AN ADULT YOU ARE STILL MY SON AND YOU ARE NOT LIVING WITH BERNARD UNTIL YOU TWO ARE MARRIED

Tim, not backing down: Well I guess we have our weekend plans, should we expect to see you at the wedding?

Bernard:

#bruce comes to an agreement that they can live together if they promise to come over for family dinners at least once a week and they dont #get hitched yet so bruce had adequate time to plan a whole wedding cause you know bruce would be even more into planning it then they are #long post #like really long #sorry i just kinda took off with it #batkids #batfam #bat family #tim drake #bruce wayne #incorrect batfamily quotes #damian wayne #bernard dowd #timber #timbern

[greenapplebling]

Jason: What do you mean you went with that doctor!?

Bruce, confused: Yes, why? What's wrong with him?

Jason: Why the fuck do you think people call him "the butcher" for!?

Bruce: ... I thought he used to be one and the nickname stuck...

Jason:

Jason, under his breath: Best detective in the world my ass

#in my mind bruce is a little naive when it comes to things like this #things that are easy for someone who comes from the streets #dc #jason todd #batman #batfam #robin #batfamily #bruce wayne #red hood #batdad #naive batdad #batkids #batfam incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #source: my family (kinda) #there's also a vet in my city we call “the dogkiller” #the surprising thing is that people still go to get attended with these people 🫤

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

Bruce, not ready to wake up: Just five more…

Tim, bored, irritated, and sensing an opportunity to sow the seeds of chaos:

Tim: *races into the kitchen*

Tim: You guys will never believe what Bruce just said!

Damian: Well?

Duke: What did he say?

Steph: You can’t leave us hanging like that.

Tim: He said five MORE.

*collective gasp*

Steph: I had better not be one of those five.

Damian: Why does Father get to adopt five more children and I can not adopt five more cats? Cats are much easier to care for than people.

Tim, shrugging: I’m sure he’d be fine with it.

#Bruce later: where did all the cats come from #Tim: I have absolutely no idea #Dick: I can’t believe you adopted without telling me AGAIN #I leave you alone for THREE DAYS #Bruce thinking they’re still talking about the cats: it wasn’t me! #Dick: Oh so what #a stork dropped them off? #Bruce: Can a stork carry that much weight? #Tim: *sipping from his mug having the time of his life* #Dick: *still demanding answers* #Bruce: tuned out because now he’s calculating how much weight a stork could carry #and ​the air speed velocity of an unladen stork if you will #Jason and Cass: *walk in to see Bruce and Dick arguing about storks* #Jason: nope. I’m out #Cass to Jason: Yeah but we could get popcorn #tim drake #all the batkids are little chaos gremlins and you can’t convince me otherwise #batkids #bruce wayne and his serial adoption tendencies #batfam #bruce wayne #damian wayne #stephanie brown #duke thomas #dick grayson #cassandra cain #jason todd