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#the man literally just doesn’t even try to use his magic until he’s on the trial? HE GOT TAKEN IN BY A SCARY SPACE ORGANISATION
fang-venkas · 2 years
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“lOkI wAs In ChaRaCtEr At ThE bEgInNiNg Of ThE sHoW”
The man literally used the tesseract to go mongolia in the first five minutes of the show. The same tesseract that can take you to any part of the universe of your own choosing and he chose to go to a random place on earth where everyone knows who he is. As though he didn’t just try to take over the planet with an out-of-space army and his face wasn’t all over the news. Extremely loki-like to go and try to hide out on a planet on which everyone knows him instead of going to some remote private hide out only he knows about. Also very loki-like to just open up the tesseract portal in the air, like hundreds of meters above the ground for no reason at all lol.
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azulsluver · 6 months
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haunted house au??!! Is that a new event coming up? Will it relate to the last chapter 👀👀
Originally, bunch of ghouls who haunted this old house/apartment or whatever. I wasn't paying a lot of attention to that au but realizing the Halloween event was perfect for starters. For those who read the event then it would make sense of how the characters came to be in the world MC lives in.
Here are the basics of how they accustomed to their new life.
tw: yandere, ghost!twst, mentions of attempted suicide, obsessive/possessive behavior, mentions of gore-ish fantasies and acts, nudity (non-sexual), they watch you sleep every night.
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Your apartment is small. With them all inside as ghosts they can physically interact with each other so it gets pretty cramped. They’re attached to you, literally, they aren’t able to leave the place they’re in unless you track down Crowley or COUGH COUGH the man who owned the store. Also moving places since it is “haunted house”, will lead to them following along.
-What did he do to deserve this? To be transferred into a world with no magic, and to be a ghost again! He can't physically touch you or use any sort of magic to collar you, it's a nightmare for Riddle when you break some of the (unknown) rules.
-To keep it short, Riddle is a noxious ghost to have around. He practically breaths down your neck for everything you do. You'll mostly see Riddle inside your bedroom, along with many others who are trying to get comfortable. Besides the bedroom, Riddle is one of the many ghosts who will volunteer to go along with you for your errands. That is if people like Ace or Floyd who always wanna tag with you.
-The second person to be leaning over your shoulder is Trey, he’s more than curious of your everyday life. What type of shampoo you wear, lotion or perfume that reminds him of you. He’s not a nauseous but you’d wish he’d leave you alone as well. The veil covering his face burns into your mind of the people he tore so easily, no matter how much he smiles sweetly at you.
-Like clingy dogs, Deuce is nearly always on you. Be it a hug, hand holding, or trapping you in his arms, he can’t stand the thought of separation now that you’re here and alive. Second clingy dog; Cater. He’s so fascinated by everything and you, often times teasing Deuce to not hoard you all for himself. Cater does bother you as much as Deuce does, his odd fixation on you is unknown and sometimes freaks even Ace out. But Cater thinks it’s adorable, funny even.
-Nobody really eats anything. They don’t have the stomach in your world to actually enjoy cuisines like you.
-Ruggie and Ace are always pulling pranks on you, inside your safe haven has been stripped from you completely. Where privacy privileges are nonexistent as the ghosts free roaming in your home. You’re always on edge with these psychopaths who have no problem using your fear to their advantage.
-None aren’t as kind as Silver however, but he doesn’t bring you much comfort. When everyone feels no guilt of killing the innocent, Silver is nothing but human to you as he shared a deep meaningful conversation with you during the late night. Times where you couldn’t sleep and he just so happens to be awake there for you.
-Speaking of clingy, Leona, Rook, Jack, Kalim, Floyd, AND Malleus are there to make your mental sanity DROP. With their weird confessions and obsession of wanting to cut you open and eat you is bad enough. Their touches burn like hell. Oh will somebody solve the problem of these big mean demons….
-The shop is your solution. With the shop owner spewing nonsense into your ear, hope drains when you catch upon the fact ghosts like them will stay until your time has been served.
-Like death themselves, until you can no longer breath will you be free, not unless one of them manages to snag your soul into their realm.
-However, there is a part-time solution if you wish to have peace and quiet. A sacred scroll that mostly works like a phone seeing how it needs to recharge energy to work; as it is unbreakable, it’s used to ward off evil spirits for a whole week before falling into a deep recharge for a month.
-Was it a scam, maybe, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
-Now there are some who aren’t as obnoxious as the rest, that being Vil, Jamil, Trey, Azul, Jade, Lilia, and Silver. With your space being respected if asked, they’re more curious about your world. Not being obnoxious doesn’t mean they aren’t playful, often making comments on how you’re gonna die. What position, what days, places, all the scenarios that feeds into your brain like scratching chalkboards.
-What should be dreaded most is sleeping hours. The touches are faint and almost weak, something that had to do with your current situation and mood. As your drowsy figure stumbles into bed, somehow they too become more docile and quiet. That sounds good but it’s the fact they don’t sleep. Instead now that you’re state is dreaming off they can’t really interact with anything else. Other than watching you in a single room. Their touch is haunting.
-No one can see them, other than you and Grim. With you and your fat little feline friend have to deal with losers like these. Sadly, Grim can’t do much as no physical contact works, much to Idia’s pleasure.
-Absolutely no one likes any of your friends coming over. Surprisingly even Sebek is possessive over you. They’d glare so hard it makes you pass out from fear they might cause actual harm. As they can’t be seen doesn’t mean the force of their wrath will.
-Having friends over is not a good idea. But leaving home doesn’t get rid of their pissy attitudes. As spirits have strong emotions and auras; leaving you feeling sick and lightheaded by their constant bickering.
-Settling for agreements are tough, people like Azul and Vil have no problem with that. In fact they were one of the many to ask before doing things. You recognize Azul as the one who attempted to drown you, as Floyd dose nothing but babble about how much he cried and how he whines it hurts. Azul and Vil someone….respect you in a way? You certainly aren’t seen as equal but from everything that’s happened to you? A pat on the back is all you’re given.
-Get use to nudity. They sure are but they’ll still be dicks about it: Ace, Sebek, Jamil, Leona, Lilia, Floyd.
-More about their physical touches. It can cause a lot of harm to your body. Leaving marks and evidence of their abuse. Depending on your circumstances it can hurt as bad as getting your nails ripped out, they aren’t able to dig their fingers into your flesh to the point of slicing limb to limb.
-That has something to do with life and deaths they aren’t allowed to kill you ad your are bounded to the book. Serving the years of unknown disasters (murder, accidents, etc…but any attempt of self harm brings agony until you are waking up with their faces hovering above you.) or old age
-Rook makes most of your situations worse somehow. He’s always teasing the others for stupid reason. He wants to sit with you when Leona has a arm slumped over your shoulder on the couch. Invading your personal space in from of Malleus when engaging (not so willingly) conversations. Asking stupid questions like; do you prefer waking up to me or blah blah when you awake from your slumber.
-“Neither.”
-They don’t seem very useful other than bothering you whenever you come back home. The problem is how small room there is, and they complain about it a lot as well.
-Luckily for you they aren’t completely useless nor do their powers; it’s still pretty weak and does little. Malleus is ancient, his power weakens him if used, but he’ll use it for your advantage. Good luck.
-That’s the power, yep. Only key holders contain powerful magic as they did back in their world.
-Technically Malleus has the power to bring good and bad luck. Depends on how silly he’s feeling. Cue the blackish grey skies with green thunder causing crashes outside.
-Riddle’s power does more harm to others however, like his usual unique magic, and the reason why you don’t bring anyone over/ victims are forced to experience a choking hazard, one that’s not visible to touch or see.
-Leona can bring you golds and jewels, those are rare times if he ever thinks you deserve it. As I say when you have a whole drawer of them.
-Azul’s power allows him to create illusions, they are weak yet powerful on your still traumatized soul. When angered he’s petty enough to bring the faces or place of the events that happened in the book.
-Kalim is like a drug, his power is anything including smoke. Smoke that can make you sleep, intoxicate you, feel hunger or smell something like childhood.
-Vil is draining and giving. Having the ability to give or take your fatigues, when used more it can cause you to bleed from the nose and lead to hallucinations. It’s best to be on his good side if you ever feel the need for more enthusiasm energy.
-Idia can create skeletons to the living world. They don’t last long but are able to sedate and hold you. He doesn’t use them much as it quickly drains him. (Skeletons won’t be seen by others btw)
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Group H, Round 1, Poll 9:
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Propaganda under the cut
Ianthe Tridentarius
She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate
Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.
"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "
She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.
Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top
idk just everything about her
her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.
she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.
Artist:@starcanist
Remy the Rat
Gaslight- 'hmm? Me? Steal papers? I'm just an innocent little ratty rat.' Gatekeep- I would debate he's gatekeeping food and taste from the other rats because they just don't GET it. Ugh! Girlboss- doesn't he own a rat restaurant at the end?
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hijinxinprogress · 5 months
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The JL finds out Captain Marvels identity and regrets it immensely
JL find out Captain Marvels a child and they start trying to parent him and just being awkward so it’s decided that Captain Marvel will join YJ (Clark started referring to Billy only as ‘son’ and ‘young man’ one time Billy saw an airplane and Clark leaned down and went “That there, son, is called an airplane and it-” “I’ll fucking stab you istg”)
To the public Captain Marvel is just extra supervision for YJ but the hero community knows it’s a way to discretely move Captain Marvel onto a team with people his age and be ‘safer’
But it doesn’t work out the way they want bc Billy’s a chaos gremlin much like YJ so they’re just doing dumb shit in the public eye bc they technically have ‘adult supervision’ (it takes Billy fifteen minutes to convince yj to go against being supervised by green lanterns)
“We’re literally your coworkers??” “I’ve literally never seen you before besides isn’t it illegal for cops to question a minor without their guardian present? 🤨” “Technically, he’s not their coworker bc he’s not in the jl anymore” “Kon” “What? I’m just saying!” “Stfu wait does Marvel even have a guardian??” “He doesn’t”
Anita and Billy are trading magic tips and teaching each other spells they should NOT have access to esp bc they’ve blown up thirteen city blocks and 1/4 of almost every planet they’ve visited with YJ
Cassie and Billy play high stakes games of catch above the earths atmosphere with missiles and shit in their free time and also during missions
Kon and Billy do just plain dumb shit they have no business doing and then playing up the ‘I’m just a baby…and I’m not even really human/I didn’t have a childhood so how would I know that I shouldn’t do that?’ excuse after bankrupting Luthor for the third time this month along with demolishing all of his newly renovated buildings (Which he and Greta repurposed to create low income housing and food pantries)
Cissie invites Marvel to all her Olympic events and he shows up to every single one with an obnoxiously large magical banner
Bart and Billy plan quips, one liners, and trash talk together and everyone hates it bc they only use the good ones on them but villains (along with everyone in their immediate vicinity) are subjected exclusively to shit like “nuh uh” and “make me”
Greta and Billy are taking down shady government operations with zero fucks to give (they had houses built for the people affected but they did also send a very long list of people to the hospital/morgue)
Billy makes Tim a magic skateboard that flies at like Mach 1 with so many magic cameras it’s concerning bc he thinks Tim being unhinged is funny especially it inconveniences or at least stresses out batman
But they’re mostly talking about what lies they’ve told the jl recently so they can plan their lies around each other “I lied to batman yesterday so you gotta back me up” and Tim’s fabricating evidence despite having no other information bc Billy will 100% “Aren’t you a so called ‘ethical’ billionaire? Nonono it’s whatever, I just thought you’d want to look out for the people but-”
And JL tries to lecture Billy about it ‘you should be more mature. I expected better’ and he’s just like ‘why?? I’m baby 🥺 I don’t know any better’ 
And Green Arrow’s so goddamn confused bc ‘Bro?? I’ve watched you do negotiations when Superman’s not available…’ ‘I’m just a little guy’ ‘I’VE WATCHED YOU STOP A WHOLE ASS INVASION IN TEN MINUTES’ ‘little baby man’ ‘But you’re one of the strongest members of the league???’ ‘You do know I couldn’t tie my own shoes like six years ago, right?’ ‘HOW OLD ARE YOU’ ‘Wouldn’t you like to know’
YJ and Billy just do a bunch of petty shit until JL has had enough and they’re like fine whatever it wasn’t a problem before
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iridiss · 9 months
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Garroth growing up in a blood family that doesn’t treat him with any love, so as a kid he wishes so hard for the destined, perfect love of his life to come and save him, whisking him away like a knight in shining armor, to a life where he’s truly loved, and it’s that escapism in fantasy that he’s constantly using to cope and keep himself sane growing up
He dreams of the day someone will love him, unconditionally and truly, and though he doesn’t really know what that’ll look like yet, it’s something that he just knows intrinsically in his heart and yearns for desperately. He’s a big lover, he’s super empathetic and sensitive, he has a big heart, especially as a kid. Whenever he falls for anyone, he falls HARD, but he can’t seem to find anyone who would love him back as much as he loves them (especially since people keep seeing him as The Prince and not lovey little Garroth)
Then Garroth being forced to marry a woman he had never loved and barely even met before. Marriage being used as a giant weapon to forever seal him into the horrific life as heir to the throne, as one of the permanent pieces of this broken and abusive monarchical system, when marriage and love was supposed to be one thing that got him out, and it breaks him so much that he abandons everything and runs away. If no perfect and magical knight in shining armor will save him, then he’ll do it himself, alone.
And then he meets the most romantic knight in the world.
Laurance is so extremely homoerotic and suggestive and flirtatious with him all the time, even in canon, especially in canon
Laurance loves LOUDLY and a LOT, he’s very honest and up-front about all the emotions in his heart, and when he falls in love with someone (as opposed to falling in surface-level lust with someone) he falls HARD, but unlike Garroth, he is NOT shy about it lol
Laurance sending love and affection Garroth’s way in droves, and Garroth being utterly confused and clueless about it, because no one has ever spoken to him this way, hell, I don’t think his sheltered Princely blood has even SEEN any other person talk this way. Like Laurance just honestly and bluntly telling him “Hey big guy, I think you’re hot and cute as fuck, we should fuck on the beach right here, whaddya say?” like how is his brain going to compute that, he’s never even SEEN an affectionate relationship before, let alone seen someone be so clear and forward about it
And Laurance is honest and means every word he says, he’s not trying to play or trick Garroth. At one point Garroth thinks he is and gets super suspicious of him, but then Laurance laughs and denies it so casually and easily, and now Garroth is lost again
He literally meets the most affectionate person ever. He’s honest and upfront about his affections, he’s patient enough to give Garroth all the time in the world, he’s emotionally intelligent enough to know why he’s struggling so much with his gestures, and he’ll just patiently stand there and watch him while he has an existential crisis trying to figure out what love even means after Laurance gave him a bouquet of hand-picked flowers. Trust Issues Garroth would eventually try to accept all these kind things Laurance says about him, rather than deny the compliments and insist he’s all the things Zane and his father called him as a child. He leans into the affections, and Garroth learning how love actually works, as the very man he dreamed of as a child holds his face in his hands, and does not mock or beat or hurt him, but kisses him on the cheek instead.
Garroth learning how to love from Laurance’s unconditional and obnoxious affections, slowly becoming less and less afraid of it, until he embraces it completely and starts to give Laurance So Very Much Loving in return like he was always capable of doing. And Laurance is perfectly capable of handling the immense amount of affection, he finds it exciting actually
And though I don’t think homophobia is a thing that exists in this fantasy world, I think it’s also thematically perfect that Laurance is the exact kind of person that Garroth’s parents would HATE having as a son-in-law. Laurance’s rebellious pride is perfect for that role of breaking Garroth free of the abusive strings of his evil monarchical family and learning how to love himself instead
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sweetbluebanisters · 11 months
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Ultraviolent
I can hear sirens, sirens
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
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Who Controlling!Miguel O’Hara x Sweet!Reader
Warnings Contains!Smut, Violence, Abuse
Backstory A sweet bartender from the coast of California clashes with a mean man, who never doesn’t get his way. Two different personalities, don’t always work out in ways you’d wish.
This is my first time writing on Tumblr so please be kind and feel free to give advice + corrections in the comments! Also, Miguel speaks Spanish so I'm trying to incorporate that as well. Please tell me if any part of the Spanish lines do not make sense! I’m very limited and I don't think the google translator helps. at all. 
Ch. l sweet as sugar
Ch. II Deadly Nightshade
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                                                             .୨୧˚.
Futuristic Cars, High tech machines that you could not work even if you tried. Marble white everywhere, buildings where robots work the magic. They were all completely brand new to you. Nueva York is something you’ll probably never get used to. 
You came from a rather big city in California, High crime, robberies left and right, litter everywhere, sweet beaches you can see from miles and miles away, and palm trees that are so big you could never miss them even if you tried. Also just known as Los Angeles!
Your name was __________ Monroe, you often went by Monnie in L.A, though. You are 22, fresh out of college where you majored in Cognitive science. You were always the one people could count on if they wanted to have fun, the one that no matter how bad they messed up, you made light out of that darkness. Least to say, you are a respected and honored person in the Spider Society.
You joined along Miguel and Jessica, a little trio if you'd say. About 2 years ago, You were exposed to a radioactive spider during a walk home from the club, all tipsy and alone. You didn't register what happened until the following day. You begin to feel soreness and itchiness on your wrist. You were easily agitated which was extremely uncommon for a girl like yourself. 
You noticed your indurance and speed increased in a matter of days. You began to notice yourself being able to call tons, light weight. Throughout your first year of being exposed, you then found out about your identity. Even you hid from yourself. You didn't know how to approach it at all, if you even had to. Until you met Miguel, spider-man 2099. From a completely opposite detention as yours. 
You were alone at home, per usual. Your only job as of now was a bartender for a night club, you got good tips though. It was around eight- o’clock, you begin to get all dolled up for her night shift at the club. Fixing your long _____ hair, dressing in very, exposed outfit to put into simpler terms. You put on makeup to your smooth skin, and strapped your heels to your feet. Grabbing your coach bag, ready to head out, standing 2ft near your exit just to quickly grab your keys out of quiet literally nowhere you are struck to the ground, it was so quick its like you glitched from standing to groaning on your hard wood floors. Feeling as if Zeus himself punished you for whatever sinful thing you had done and struct you down with lighting. 
“Wha- What the hell!” You blink in shock, turning your head behind you as a very, broad man look down at you, looking at you in confusion, you give the same exact look back. Its a 10 second staring contest before you realize the predicament you're in and speak up “Where the hell did you come from!” You shout, the man realizes that this complete stranger he's on top of is about to hit him with her coach bag, that looks to weigh tons. 
“No! No- my bad!” His hands go up as he quickly crawls off of you, standing up and extending his hand for you to grab. Instead of excepting the help, you gets up on your own before groaning “Jesus Christ how much do you weigh?”
“Im not in the mood for remarks like that.” The stranger scolded, looking at you as you stare at him in in unremarkable disbelief. “You’re in my house telling me you're not in the mood for remarks like that? Why are you in my house and where did you enter!” She snapped, looking at the man up in down, studying his features.
“And why are you in that Spiderman suit.” She mumbles under her breath, her eyes study the mans suit, seeing that he actually looks very.. built. the man rolled his eyes before speaking “You need to stop waisting your time and except that you're a Spider-Human.” He deadpans, looking at you, you had to extend your head up just to look into his scarlet eyes, you’d be lying if you said the man wasn't attractive.
“Are you cosplaying right now? Like are you actually insane?” You provoked the big man, he looks down, grabbing the bridge of his nose while shaking his head entirely. “You were bitten by a radioactive spider, you do realize, right? Didn't you notice the symptoms?” He question looking at you, but you couldn't help shake the feeling that you felt like you were in the clouds
“I was convinced it was just a regular bite, I was like getting stronger but I thought it was because I was working out?” You wondered, looking down and realizing that even though this shouldn't be happening to her, it does make sense to why she suddenly started feeling stronger, and quicker. 
“Able to lift heavy objects like they weigh 5 pounds?”
“Yep.”
“Running faster and running and for longer?”
“Sure.”
“Hearing increased?”
“Oh, yeah! sometimes I can hear my neighbors moaning through 2 stor-” “I didn't need all that, at all. You do realize you are the Spiderwomen of this dimension? Haven't you seen anything on the news?” He hesitated, looking at the girl who pondered her next choice of words “Oh, I mean I never really noticed I was bit but something like that. But, yeah there's a weird man with holes in his body that is like causing havoc or whatever, I thought he was cosplaying too though.” She began, looking at the man who seemed fed up. 
“No! No one is ‘cosplaying’! This is real, and you put your dimension in tremendous danger—“
“What am I supposed to do, just tell him to stop?”
“As I was saying, you’re just sitting on your ass and doing nothing, do you need to be taught?” The man stressed, she looks confused before speaking up
“Taught?”
“Por dios! Taught how to work through the Spider women thing! Like how to shoot webs, or how to y’know how to do your job!”
“Oh.. I don't even know if I want all that responsibly..” You truthfully tell, the man bites his tongue back before continuing “You put on the responsibility of spider by getting bit by this spider, you--” He urged out, before getting cut off my you “Excuse me? I was drunk and I didn't know! I promise you if I was sober and I saw that spider I would've ran, trust.” She corrected, the man began to think that you might have been missing just a few screws, not even loose screws. They're just gone.
“Please, this dimension needs a Spider-human they know they can rely on, at least come with me.” He pleaded, looking at you as you kept your eyes locked with his, you bit her lip as you began 
“But we already have a Spiderman?”
“Yeah, it’s you. What do you not get?”
“No, no. We have a Spiderman, I’m pretty sure he lives in Brooklyn.”
You can tell by the way that he’s looking at you, that information was definitely unexpected. But to avoid the loud silence, you speak up “Where am I going?” You mumbled, the man smiled back his pride before continuing 
“It's a dimension where all the Spidermen and Women work along each other, some live there and some go back to their homes. There's a training center, I can help you.” The man explained, he seemed to be dedicated to his job, you nodded with curiosity before speaking up “Do I need to stay there or-”
“No, you can go back home whenever, but if you want it is easier if you'd say.” He advised, you looked at him with a sweet smile before joking “It sounds like you want me there more than I do myself.” he scoffed before shaking head head, denying the accusation. 
“I just don't want another dimension going down in flames, that I have to save again.” He projected as you nodded, not listening at all. He tapped his watch with ease, as a spiraled portal projected out of what you thought to be thin air. “What's your favorite colors?” He asked, you look at him weirdly before telling him “Pink and.. uh.. black, why?”
“You'll find out.”
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“Oh my god its so pretty!” Your smile lights up, cheering as you grab the custom made suit just for you, Miguel finds himself admiring the way you get excited for something so little “The little gems on the spider, Miguel!” You laugh as you look in the dressing mirror, putting the body suit up to you, trying to imagine how it would look on. The way you said his name has his stomach turning in ways classified as enjoyable. “Does everyone get costume suits too?” You question, looking at Miguel for the key to your answer 
“Yes, but some people stick to the blue and red combo for the cliche.” He answers, looking towards you as you still admires yourself in the full body mirror, she looks at Miguel before asking her wanted question
“Can I try it on, please?” You pleaded, looking at the rather tall man as he nods in approval, you speed walk into the changing room, making sure to close the door behind you before striping yourself of your heels, and your dress. being left in just her undergarments “Excuse me?” You pardon herself, the man looks at the changing room door, that hides your face. “Hm?”
“Do I wear a bra with this?” You ask, no implied innocence being stripped from that sentence, Miguel purposely coughs, he didn't know himself either. “Uhm, for now, yes. Let's just see how it looks.” He answers, you hum in approval as Miguel taps his foot, waiting for you to come out of the wardrobe with your rather tight body suit. “Its on!” You reveal, you steps out of the dressing room and looks at Miguel with your arms down to your side 
“Does it look alright?” You ask for his opinion, turning around so he can get a full view, Miguel looks at you, he couldn't help but notice the way it hugged your curves, but instead of voicing that, he just nods. He approaches behind you as you now admiring yourself in the mirror, again.
“It makes my butt look bigger than it is.” You comment, Miguel doesn't know how respond to that so he chooses to stay quiet. “How come it took such little time to make?” You ask, turning your body around to look at the man, he looks down at her. His stare is almost intimidating, but attractive. “With the tech we have provided, all we need is your exact body measurements and preferred colors. The machine makes it to your exact size, it even comes with special accommodations.” He informs, his words sounded so professional it could be mistaken for a advertisement. Your ears perk up as a way to show that you're listening, he continues.
“The fabric makes it easier to move your body, and helps when you're moving is restricted. The wrist of the sleeves come with built in webs, if you look at the black bracelets, you press that button and-- NO!” He begins to explain, but being cut off by the your curious thoughts as they press the button. The thick webbed material stick to the wall before you, You gasps before you let go of the buttons causing your webs to extend back in. Pulling you against the wall as you bang your head. 
“Damn.” You groan as you slides down the wall, Miguel shakes his head in disappointment as he helps you up before cutting the webs still stuck to the wall, off. “My head hurts.” You reply as you stand back up, with stability “I would think so.” 
“When does-” All of the sudden, your whole body feels like its being pinched at every inch and your body begins to twitch violently. “The hell!” You scream as you fall to your knees, Miguel sighs as he pulls a wristband out of his suit pocket “My bad, here's your 24 hour watch. Remind me tomorrow to give you another one.” His apology is rather weak as you snatch it from his rough hand before putting it on 
“You're not in your respected dimension, without protection your body is going to try to glitch its self back home. This just temporarily ignores that response.” Miguel explains, you leap up before looking at the wrist band, “Is there a way to permanently stop that reaction?” You question as he nods his head, looking down at his wrist watch, which attracts your attention.
“This watch permanently stops that reaction, unless you take it off. it also comes with built in controls like-” He begins to rant as you cut him off, again. “Can I have one?” He groans at the girls constant questions before answering, once again. “What makes you think I'll give a trainee a watch?” He sighs looking at you, your doe eyes wonder. You notices Miguel walking out of the dressing room, most likely annoyed. So you quickly grab her dress and put on your heels as she walks out too. Though you are wearing heals, you still stood rather short against Miguel.
“Well how am I going to get back home? I cant do it without a watch.” You provided a rather reasonable answer, the man smiles to himself which brings the girl into a state of confusion, she continues walking along him. Not knowing where she's going, but trusting the man enough to lead you “Yeah, about that.. as a trainee you'll probably stay her for one week, at max two weeks if you absolutely suck.” He explains, your eyebrows burrow in furry, being lied to isn't something you take lightly. Bystanders watch as they see a new spider women, whisper and gossip spread as you two did walk out of the wardrobe room together.
 “What the hell do you mean! You told me I could go back home whenever.” You argue, the man shushes you, telling you to keep quiet as you are causing quite a scene aready. “A week won't hurt, muñeca. Two weeks might though.” He dismisses, you abides to his orders as there is quite a few people looking at you both right now. 
“Go get some rest in the sleephub, I’ll give you an official tour tomorrow.”
“I don't even know where it is!” “You can find it, I believe in you.” Miguel gives you a fake flashy smile, before patting your shoulder and walking off without you.
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You ended up needed the two weeks of training, and Miguel often makes fun of you about it to this day. You weren’t the most flexible when it came to web swinging but you definitely did know how to dodge people and objects that went flying your way.
Even since you appeared in the Spider society people could not ever end the talk about you. You were known as a sweetheart there, everyone and I mean everyone liked you. Though, there were always some people who thought your kindness was projected as annoying, but you never let it get to you.
People everywhere addressed you as sugar, which you thought was really corny. You don’t cringe at it though, because that’s how people perceived you as, and it’s definitely better than being called worse.
Even though you were known as Sugar among the spider society Miguel had his own nickname for a girl like yourself. ‘Muñeca’ which means doll in Spanish, you never understood it at first until Jess told you it’s because he thinks your prissy and spoiled, and a typical girl who thinks ‘’my way or no way’ is the standard.
And maybe you do! But that should be excepted widely among people.
The longer you stayed though, the more people began to tease you about Miguel. Sometimes they’d call you ‘Mrs. O’Hara’ and if you were being honest, you definitely didn’t mind it. Through the months you developed a small, tiny tiny crush on what you would call your boss. How could you not! He was most definitely bigger than you in size, he was controlling, and he was hot. Just how you liked your men.
As much as you thought about him, you knew he definitely didn’t feel the same. He only saw your presence as a burden in your eyes. He’d seem agitated or annoyed when he was around you.
A few months into you being part of the Spider society you fucked up a expedition he went on one day, different types of species were glitching into different parts of the spider verse and you were on duty with them to bring them back home. But, you ended letting one severely injuring you, hauling the expedition, It wasn’t your fault though! That thing caught you off guard.
Instead of Miguel assisting to your needs once you guys got back to the office, he yelled at you. Calling you careless, and voicing his annoyance. You threw that sweetness your perceived out the window. You snapped at Miguel for his lack of care, and told him it wasn’t even your fault. Basically, it was a screaming match that echoed off his office walls. Everything went blurry to you after he lost it, more or less snapped. He lifted you by your suits collar before tossing you off the console platform, injuring you worse than you already were.
A ‘ get away from me.’ would’ve been way more deserving.
He never apologized for that day, he just went along the following days like it never a happened. He noticed though that you were definitely trying to distance yourself. Your were still his assistant, though. So it was rather hard to just avoid him, or respect his privacy if you always had to cater to his needs.
Even after that though, you notice that the crush you denied having on that man only grew stronger. You definitely did not like the verbal and almost physical abusive side of him, but apart of yourself choose to avoid that thought of him. Only perceiving him the way you wanted to.
You don’t know why you excepted the job as his assistant, if it was because you were blinded by your crush on the man, or because you were bored and Miguel said you’d be able to go on missions along him with this job. But with a smile on your face you proudly excepted that job, and that day forward you were never spotted without him.
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bongo-clash · 2 years
Text
Peacock Au Part 3
(Part One & Two here!!!)
Continuation of the Eldritch Danny DPxDC fic!!!! This is Kind Of the final chapter but Bones has also been making my brain go So Wild with other ideas so!!! Big chance they'll be more parts at some point (probably after Ectober week if I do!!)
Either Way Here It Is
(Fic under cut!!) (+ Part 4 Here)
-
Constantine makes the executive decision not to explain anything to Batman until the other League members are gathered in the watchtower meeting room. Maybe not his best choice, evidenced for the most part by the seething glare the vigilante is shooting him from his place at the head of the table, but still, John really doesn’t want to have to talk about this any more than he has to. It’s already going to be a pain in his side as is. 
It doesn’t take long for the rest to appear through the zeta tubes. Superman and Wonder Woman predictably arriving first of the lot, followed by Zatanna, the Flash, and then Green Lantern. Once they’re all settled and he figures this is all the people that’ll be showing up today, he deigns to begin speaking. He might’ve appreciated a bit of a higher attendance rate, but he’ll take it. 
“Alright, you lot,” He starts, just as the Green Lantern opens his mouth, likely to ask what this whole meeting is for. “I believe we’ve got a little bit of a situation on our hands.”
“Situation how, Constantine.” Batman asks, eyes narrowed behind the cowl, the furthest thing from a question. 
Constantine sighs deeply, fingers fidgeting in his coat pocket for a cigarette even if he knows he can’t smoke in the watchtower (maybe he could just hold one…). In lieu of looking the man in the face, however, he addresses everyone else in the room. “Well, see, the Bat here had a Pit forming in his territory, and he decided it’d be a bloody brilliant idea to call me for help instead of literally anyone else. The good news is the Pit’s gone. The bad news is I’m pretty sure the thing that got rid of it is worse.”
A few of them make faces, since if Constantine’s involved then this is definitely a magic problem, and none of them are fans of magic problems- Superman looks like he’s trying not to twitch. “Can you describe it?” 
“Not properly, no. Big, bright, bit of a space theme going on? Had these horrible things on them, kept changing between eyes and mouths and hands- used those to reach out and get rid of the Lazarus Pit, ‘far as I could see. They knew I was doing it for the Big Bat even though I never said a word about it, and from what I understand, they wanted a favour for sorting it out. I don’t know what they want it for.”
Batman’s face is unreadable, but there’s a scrutiny there that permeates the air around him. “So you discovered the existence of a powerful, unknown entity, and not only did you deign to summon it into our world, but you then proceeded to make a deal with it as well, completely unaware of the potential consequences.”
“In my defence,” Constantine retorts. “This is entirely your fault for getting me involved. I’ve no clue why you thought coming to me was a solid plan in the first place.”
There’s a storm brewing beneath that bat mask, but Wonder Woman intercepts before it can descend into a full-blown argument. “Now is no time to be assigning blame, we need a plan. Do you know of any way we can attain more information on this being, Constantine?”
“Not the foggiest,” He replies simply. “The only thing the book said was that it could help with the Pits. When I asked the damn thing what it was, it just gave me a riddle and, quite frankly, I wasn’t going to push it. So unless Zatanna has anything, I’ve got nothing.”
The whole table turns to look at Zatanna. She has a contemplative look on her face, pausing for the moment presumably to run through the information in her head. “Well, there’s a lot of entities around whose existences centre on keeping the balance between realms or concepts, but this is the first I’ve heard about anything like this. The closest thing I could think of is maybe Pariah Dark, since he’s known to have a connection to the Lazarus Pits, but he’s been out of commission for centuries now, and he’s never been depicted at all the way you described…”
“…And I know for a fact that his summoning ritual requires a blood sacrifice, and this thing didn’t want blood.” Constantine finishes. 
Zatanna makes a sour face, seeming to understand his implications, and the remaining non-magic members of the JL look appropriately disturbed. He thinks the worst thing about it for them is probably that there’s no real way to plan this out. They’ve got no power list, no strengths, no weaknesses, they don’t even really know what the entity is beyond its relation to the Lazarus Pits and even that’s an area of questionability, because the Pits are damn confusing on their own. If this thing shows up on them now, they’re screwed.
And just as the thought crosses his mind, there’s a tangible shift in the watchtower atmosphere, like the air’s thinning and closing in on itself at the same time. He looks at Zatanna with matching confusion, praying to gods he’s never met and that don’t like him that he hasn’t just managed to jinx himself in the worst way possible. 
“Do you feel that?” He says, and it doesn’t look like it’s only the other magic user in the room that does, because a fair few of the remaining League are pulling expressions Constantine really doesn’t like. Please, please say he hasn’t jinxed himself. 
There’s a sound like whale song and whistling as something comes up through the floor, and there’s not enough languages on Earth or beyond to encapsulate how many swears John wants to say right now. 
But it’s not the entity. 
Or at least, it doesn’t look like the entity, even if it certainly feels like it. It kind of looks like a teenager, of all the awful things. They have flare-white hair, bright, sheepish green eyes, and they’re wearing what Constantine thinks is a hazmat suit but doesn’t know enough about hazardous material protection to say for certain. No alarms going off, no doors opening or shutting, no signals at all; just a weird breeze, and the few seconds of warning that gives before the being appeared. That’s worrying. The way the League doesn’t even say anything is more so. 
“Hi,” They start, after what feels like an eternity of silence, and oh boy, they really do sound about twelve. Constantine doesn’t know how to deal with children, let alone ones that can just phase into the most secure superhero base in Earth’s orbit. This is awful. “Okay, so, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot yesterday, so I just wanted to, y’know, rectify my first impression? Uh, sorry if I came across sort of… weird.”
Everyone looks at the glowing kid. Everyone looks at each other. No one knows what to say. Flash decides to be the one to break the silence with a cough. “That’s great, kid! Uh… who are you, though?”
“Oh!” They startle. “Right. Me and Constantine met yesterday- I think I kind of scared him? It was by accident, though, I promise! I’d just had a long day, y’know? I didn’t know I was gonna get summoned and I wasn’t thinking so everything just kind of happened.”
No way. 
No. No way in Hell.
“You are not that thing I summoned yesterday.” 
And he knows, he knows entities like that tend to have forms more palatable for mortal eyes, but after seeing that yesterday, his brain just cannot for the life of it connect it to this. This child floating mid-air in a base he shouldn’t be able to access, with big huge earnest eyes and a painfully youthful face. One that seems to have reached a realisation. 
“Ah,” He says, smile just a little bit wry. “Fair enough, I did look kinda different then. Just- here, this should look a little more familiar?”
It’s not a full shift. He doesn’t contort into the same mind-searing thing that Constantine had had to bear yesterday- but his eyes scatter into neon spots across his face, nose and mouth left intact, the neck of his jumpsuit folds into the creases of an open eye, and those peacock-membrane-whatevers fall into fruition on his back, drifting like a cape or like spines. And just to top it all off, there’s a dinky little crown floating above his head, decorated with icicles and whispers of mist. 
It’s not a full shift, but Constantine’s never going to forget those damn cosmic peacock feathers. No mistaking it: that’s the entity. Forget yesterday, this is the worst day of his life. 
“What the Hell is happening right now.” Green Lantern flatlines, face dulled into non-understanding. Constantine thinks he feels the same way but worse. 
He takes a deep, cleansing breath, and tries not to scream. “You’re the one who sorted the Pit problem out?”
“Uh, yep, that’s me.”
“Okay, great! Fantastic. Can you tell me what the Hell that whole deal was?”
What’s left of the maybe teenager’s face drops somewhat, and a gloved hand reaches up to rub at the back of what’s left of his neck. “Ha, right, yeah sorry.” He mumbles, and Constantine kind of feels bad, but he’s also still kind of suffering from the adrenaline high of meeting the guy yesterday, so he guesses they’re even now. 
“So, I mean, I don’t usually look like that? It is my true form or whatever, but I’m not really… I don’t hang about in it too often. Gives people the heebie jeebies, y’know? I don’t want to scare people out of nowhere, especially not for a first meeting! But I was about to go to sleep last night when you summoned me, and I wanted to shift my form a little just to be more formal about the whole thing, but I guess I let the whole thing go by accident, and I didn’t realise at all until I got home. And if I was in that form by accident- I usually go with ghostspeak during summonings ‘cause it’s easier in that way and there’s usually translation sigils embedded in the circle- but if I was in that form by accident, then I was probably using a different dialect to the one I thought I was, so if I sounded kind of off, then that’s why. Again, really sorry about that. This was totally not how I wanted my first impression with the Justice League to go. You’re all really cool, y’know? I wanted to get off on the right foot and not the ‘let’s fight each other’ foot.”
Constantine blinks, opens his mouth, closes his mouth, and then blinks again. He’s sure there’s a reasonable response to this that can be expressed in a sentence somewhere, but right now he’s too enamoured with how utterly absurd this is. He genuinely, honestly does not know what’s worse: that this kid can turn into that, or that he can turn into that and it’s so natural he doesn’t even notice. 
Still, as consistent as the sun sets, Batman’s the first one to break the stupor, interjecting with narrowed eyes. “How do we know you’re not a threat to us? We don’t even know who you are.”
“Uh,” The kid splutters. “I didn’t introduce myself. My name’s Danny.”
“Danny.” Batman replies flatly. 
“It’s a nice name!” Danny, apparently, defends, looking about as stupefied as someone can without eyes on their face. The dinky little crown drifts after him when he moves his head. “And, um, I don’t know how to prove I’m not a threat? I mean, I closed up that Lazarus Pit for you, if that counts as being helpful in a non-threatening way?”
If anything, Constantine would think that makes someone more threatening. “You said you wanted a favour for it, that you were going to ‘find your recompense’.”
“No I didn’t?” Danny says incredulously, before he pauses and his lips part in an O. “Right, translation error, duh. I uh, didn’t actually say that, that’s just how the sigils took it I think. You don’t owe me anything. It might be nice to get some help if I’m ever in a bind or something, but we didn’t make a deal or a pact or anything, you just asked for help, so I helped. 
His brain completely shuts down, blue-screen style. This isn’t how this type of thing goes. There’s no way this is that easy. “You seriously don’t want anything.” 
“I mean, an autograph might be nice. My friend thinks you and batman are cool.”
“You don’t think the rest of us are cool?” Flash complains, because that’s exactly what he’s supposed to be getting out of this conversation and not how utterly insane it is. 
Danny, the kid that’s going to be giving him nightmares and is already giving him migraines, has the audacity to look embarrassed. “I think you’re cool; obviously you’re all cool, you’re the Justice League! My friend’s just into the edgier members, I guess? She’s goth.”
“Oh? So who’s your favourite?” Why is no one acknowledging that the incomprehensible cosmic horror just called him edgy. Why are they just moving past this. 
“…Martian Manhunter and Green Lantern. I really like space.”
Yeah, no shit, he’s made of it. 
Constantine genuinely wants to pass out. He wants Batman to get him over the head with a batarang; he wants Superman to tap him on the forehead and give him a concussion, just- anything not to be here right now. This might not even be the weirdest thing that’s happened to him, but he’s hating every minute of it. This kid’s talking and existing like it’s nothing but even as the conversation begins to border on casual the atmosphere is still thick, nearly physical with the chill and the chiming of bells and the way something shifts every time those peacock feathers waver behind him. 
Right now, John really, truly does not care if this entity’s playing some kind of twisted long con to trick them into sacrificing their souls or something equally as horrifying. He just wants to go home and forget anything ever happened. “So, you’re not a malicious entity.” Constantine states finally, putting an end to any further back-and-forth that he’d managed to tune out. 
“I promise you I’m not.” Danny replies seriously, even as his features shift back to something more human-looking that only seems like it’s trying and failing to hide something bigger underneath it now. 
Constantine puts his hands in his pockets, and turns straight to the door. “Brilliant news. I’m leaving now. I hope we never have to see each other again.” The League and that kid can do whatever they want, but Constantine swears on everything he holds sacred that he’s not touching any of it with a ten-foot pole. He never wants to have to deal with anything like this again, and he is never agreeing to do Batman another favour. 
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theminecraftbee · 4 months
Text
an explosive repetition
this is a gift for @caracuuw for @mcytblrholidayexchange! please enjoy some time travel fwhimmy! this is crossposted to the ao3 collection here. i had fun writing it; happy holidays, and enjoy!
===
The embers of the campfire burn low during the yearly meeting of Emperors. People cheer to the newest of their number; the Codfather had been late, but he’d arrived, panting and covered in leaves and apologizing. They’d talked in quiet tones about things only people who were the emperors of their own nations could discuss, about the year to come, about the power afforded to them, and, while not about politics—the campfire meeting had never truly been for politics—they discussed what to expect from each other on an interpersonal level. Something changes in a person, when the life of a nation is tied to them. That’s what being an emperor means, even if these days only about half of them go by ‘emperor’ and only just about as many inherited their positions; even now, Fwhip remembers the day he was given the leadership title over his sister, and the way the sudden weight of the entire nation settled over his shoulders, and he knew what being an emperor was. 
He feels a bit like that now, actually, except also significantly more on fire.
Not literally. He is no longer literally on fire. But, like, it’s sort of hard to forget the feeling of being on fire, even briefly. It lingers under his skin. That hadn’t happened when he’d gone from Fwhip to Count Fwhip. If that had involved being set on fire he probably would have tried harder to refuse at the time instead of being all like ‘oh hey I am no longer the unwanted second son but a vital part of this nation’, because being on fire sucks, and he doesn’t recommend it to anyone.
Pretending he is not on fire also sucks. If it weren’t for the fact he looked across the campfire, saw Jimmy appear, and saw him shaking in a very particular way too, he probably wouldn’t have been able to hide how on-fire he was. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to navigate the conversations that are normally held at a campfire meeting. He’s pretty sure he barely navigated them as it was. He had been too busy giving Jimmy baffled looks at every free moment, trying to figure out why he was technically no longer literally on fire, and freaking out about how these were all the conversations he’d had last year, actually, and he sort of remembered them, and hey maybe he only has to pay half attention anyway because if they’re the same conversations as last year, there won’t be anything important for him to know, because he already knows it, and oh man what had he gotten himself into now, and—
The point is that during their secretive magic meeting and all that, Fwhip had mostly been on fire. Is he thinking straight? He’s not thinking straight.
He waits until basically everyone has left (Pixlriffs hasn’t yet, but the Copper King has a tendency to stick around at these things and Fwhip doesn’t think he’ll get rid of him) before rounding on Jimmy.
“You,” he says.
“Me? What do you mean me? This is your fault!” Jimmy says back.
“If you hadn’t had your stupid idea of making peace or whatever…”
“Oh, well excuse me, but it was your machine that blew up. I’m still on fire!” Jimmy pauses. “Metaphorically! I’m metaphorically on fire!”
“I mean, it’s not a metaphor when it feels a lot like actual fire, that’s not what a metaphor is I think?” Fwhip says.
“Are you sure?” Jimmy asks.
“I mean, I think so?” Fwhip says.
They both pause for a moment to contemplate this. Jimmy shrugs. “That’s not important!” he decides at last. “The point is. You set us on fire! You blew us up! You blew us up so hard we time traveled!”
“And would that have happened if I’d just been using salmon power? No! No, it has to be your stupid cod that did it!” Fwhip says.
“Well I think it was your stupid face!” Jimmy says. Fwhip gasps.
“You take that back,” he says.
“Make me!” Fwhip says.
“Um,” Pixlriffs says, staring wide-eyed at the two of them. “You know, I’m just going to leave now. And leave you to… your time travel? No wonder I’ve had a headache for the past week.”
Fwhip and Jimmy stare at him.
“I’m very good at pretending I don’t know the future, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Pixlriffs says, and before Fwhip can interrogate him on that, he darts into the woods. It’s a little awkward, with none of the mysterious grace a statement like that should have, and all the gangly arms and legs the Copper King has had for ages. For a man with so much mystery around him, he’s always been a little too silly, a little too awkward, and a little too approachable. Fwhip’s always wondered if it’s a trap. Fwhip wonders if he’s actually going to not tell anyone. Fwhip… 
Fwhip turns back to Jimmy and discovers Jimmy staring after the Copper King, a wistful, fond, and exhausted expression on his face. It’s so out of place with the yelling, and the time travel, and with Fwhip’s knowledge that Jimmy’s the pettiest emperor on the entire continent. It makes Fwhip’s stomach hurt.
It’s quiet.
“Sorry,” Jimmy says. “Sorry. I haven’t seen him in a long time. He was never really the same after—I haven’t seen him in a while. I should go have tea with him. There’s a fancy word for that where he’s from but I never remember it. He’s always been nice about that.”
“Oh,” Fwhip says.
“He looks less tired,” Jimmy says.
“Yeah, well you look kind of like shit,” Fwhip says.
Jimmy smiles, low and sad. “Yeah, well, you look even more—more bad. When did you last sleep?”
Fwhip doesn’t answer.
Jimmy shakes his head. “Anyway, enough of that. I’m supposed to be yelling at you about the time travel. Did you really blow us up so badly we went back in time?”
“Do you have a better answer?”
“I mean, I don’t know! I don’t want to be dead! I’m already on fire.”
Fwhip thinks of rumors about the Copper King and omens. He swallows. “Yeah, you know what, I’ll buy it’s time travel. Time travel! Back to the beginning of all of this! Just when things were finally starting to really work out for everyone!”
“Yeah,” Jimmy says. “Just when.”
They both sit down in front of the embers of the fire, almost at the same moment. It’s surprisingly cold now that the fire has mostly died. It shouldn’t be cold at the same time as being on fire, but maybe it’s the absence of any new fire to warm them with. Maybe it’s the fact that he’d been sitting, trying to have a conversation, getting used to the fire. He wouldn’t know. It seems distinctly like the kind of thing that Gem would know, except Gem has only just ascended to officially being Head Wizard, and she hadn’t had a war with a demon yet to really dig into the archives. She might not know. She might not tell him. He understands if she doesn’t. She’d always been the more responsible sibling in most ways that matter, and…
“Fuck,” Fwhip says. “Fuck, I blew us up and we’re back in time.”
“Stop swearing,” Jimmy says. “Besides, it was my fault, wasn’t it? Council told me not to do it and everything. I’m a failure like that.”
“Only one of us has got failure in the name, buddy.”
“Hah. Yeah, true, your parents suck.”
“It’s supposed to be for good luck. Shows what the Grimlands know.”
He shudders. He’s still on fire. He doesn’t know how to stop being on fire. He thinks maybe it’s all in his head, except for the fact Jimmy’s on fire too. It just—it had happened so fast. One moment, he and Jimmy had been shaking hands, and announcing they were burying the hatchet, and unveiling the salmon-cod reactor. It had been a good moment. Sure, there had been no way he and Jimmy would have stopped disagreeing, but they were committing to no more wars. To attempting to talk. To attempting peace. Fwhip hadn’t really wanted to hurt Jimmy for months anyway, and they’d both known it. Too many other things had happened, and even if the salmon and cod had stood between them before, the salmon-cod reactor would prove that with their powers together, they could be something more.
He’d turned to shake Jimmy’s hand one more time, the papers sign.
Then, the world had exploded.
It had hurt. He’s still on fire now, but it doesn’t hurt like that momentary flash of light, the twinned look of horror in Jimmy’s eyes, the realization something had gone horribly wrong, and then the world exploding around him. Someone had screamed; Fwhip still isn’t certain if that had been him. Fwhip had reached, a moment late, for the emergency stop. He’s not sure why, in hindsight. Some ingrained instinct to try to hit that button whenever something went wrong, maybe.
He’d been on fire. The world had been on fire. The earth had shaken. Jimmy had said something.
Then, the world exploded again, proving that instinct to hit the emergency stop a moment too late had been right after all, and Fwhip had woken up just outside of the campfire meeting. He went through it on autopilot.
“So, uh,” Jimmy starts. “We time traveled, huh?”
“We sure did,” agrees Fwhip.
“What do we do now? Because like, if we change stuff, do we vanish and die? I don’t want to vanish and die because I changed the time stream, man,” Jimmy says, wringing his hands nervously. His gills flare in and out on his neck.
“Pixlriffs literally already knows we time traveled.”
“And that was your fault, wasn’t it?”
“Mine? How was it my fault? You were arguing with me!”
“No, you were arguing with me!”
“Well, he’s your friend, so it’s your fault. I barely know the guy in this time.” Fwhip pauses. “I mean, I knew him later, when we were all sort of on the same side. He’s fun! Had some great ideas about how to handle corruption, liked explosions well enough, the whole works. But right now, he’s your friend, not mine.”
Jimmy pauses and frowns. “Oh, right. Hey, wait, that doesn’t make it my fault!”
“I think it does.”
“Look, I don’t know what to do with time travel either. Maybe Pixlriffs won’t say anything? I mean, he’ll tease us about it, but he doesn’t normally say anything about his whole… you know, right? It’s fine. It’s fine!”
“Yeah, maybe. Maybe that won’t change much,” Fwhip concedes.
Finally, the burning is starting to fade as the sun sets. Fwhip realizes he doesn’t know what that means. Maybe, he thinks grimly, he’d been burning because he’d set the Grimlands ablaze, too, but there isn’t enough Grimlands left to burn. Maybe it’s just time, though. Maybe it’s nothing quite so terrible. Besides, it’s good, the not being on fire. Very good, that. He doesn’t want to be on fire. Being on fire is… bad.
Lots of things are bad, actually. Maybe he doesn’t feel like he’s burning because he’s no longer at risk of erasing himself from existence? Or, worse—because he already is being erased from existence.
“Gods, Jimmy, I might actually kill you for this one,” Fwhip says. “I’m at least going to do something you hate.”
“So, good news, you’re supposed to steal my music disc about now,” Jimmy says. 
“…really?”
“Did—did you not even remember that’s why this started?” Jimmy asks incredulously.
“I don’t know man, I don’t care about a stupid shitty music disc right now!”
“I can’t believe you. I can’t believe I was making peace with you. I can’t believe I was going to kiss you and everything. The nerve!”
“Listen, I thought it was a religious conflict! The cod and salmon thing! You know, inherent irreconcilable differences and all that!” Fwhip says defensively. He pauses. He goes back. “What was that last bit?”
“What, your nerve?”
“No, the part about—you were going to kiss me?”
Jimmy goes very, very still. “Ignore that,” Jimmy says. “Ignore it. Ignore it! It doesn’t matter right now. Besides, we’re enemies again now, right?”
“Right,” Fwhip says, feeling strangely disappointed. “I mean, I would have kissed you back. Even when we were enemies.”
“…really?” Jimmy says.
“I mean, yeah, I like people who might stab me,” Fwhip says.
“I don’t know how to take that,” Jimmy says. 
“Yeah, it’s a problem.”
“I can imagine.”
It’s awkward now. Now that Fwhip isn’t on fire, it’s—it’s awkward between them. Fwhip doesn’t know where he stands. He should probably mock Jimmy about having a crush, but it’s a little late to do that, on account of having admitted to having a crush himself. It feels like the kind of thing they should ignore at the moment, really, given that…
“Anyway, I guess I’m stealing a music disk and maybe your codfather hat?” Fwhip says.
“I’m going to have to act like killing the dragon is a good idea,” Jimmy says, vaguely sick-sounding.
“Relax, it’ll be fun for me to get to yell at you.”
“Sure.”
They stare at each other for a while. The thing is, really, that Fwhip doesn’t want to die.
“I mean, it can’t be that much harder to do the same way a second time, right?” Jimmy says, trying to hype himself up. “I’ve already done it once! It’s like, I already know how to do all of this for sure! Yeah! It can’t—it can’t be that bad. Can I kiss you though? Since you know anyway. It won’t be changing anything, promise, I’ve just—since I was going to do it. To seal the alliance. Our secret alliance. Can we at least have one of those? So when—when it’s all my fault that a demon’s here and all—”
“That really wasn’t your fault,” Fwhip says. 
“Please?” Jimmy says.
Fwhip considers it. Fwhip shrugs. “Yeah. Secret alliance, until we get the real one in the end. Secret alliance to preserve the future.”
Jimmy sniffles. “Yeah, that.”
They both awkwardly lean in. Fwhip has never kissed Jimmy before; he’d always imagined it would taste kind of slimy. It doesn’t, although it does taste a little like fish, which makes Fwhip sort of want to laugh hysterically. Instead, he just pulls in deeper. Suddenly, they’re both kissing with the desperation of the two only people in the whole world; they might as well be. They’re the only ones who know. They’re the only ones who are here. They’re the only ones who are about to have to do—to do everything. A second time. Then, they’re kissing with tongue, and Fwhip nearly pushes Jimmy to the ground trying to press his entire body into Jimmy’s. One of them might be crying; it might even be Fwhip. He’s on fire again, he thinks. He’s not sure what to do. It’s all gone. It’s all gone. They’re starting over, hurtling towards a happy ending interrupted by the worst mistake imaginable, teetering on an edge with only each other, and they’d only just learned to stand next to each other without threats like a week ago. Fwhip doesn’t know what to do. Fwhip doesn’t know what to do. So he just keeps going, the two of them practically clawing at each other trying to dig into the skin of someone who at least is trapped with them, and—
Jimmy, suddenly, as though spooked, pushes Fwhip away. They stand there panting for a moment. Fwhip tries to bring his head back down to reality.
“Why do you have gunpowder on your mouth?” Jimmy asks, almost like he’s saying something else.
Fwhip really does get hysterical, then. “Oh, wow, okay, secret alliance. Okay, we’re doing this. Okay. Okay! You taste like fish.”
“I am a fish.”
“Not anymore!” Fwhip says, and he cackles. “You aren’t—you aren’t anymore, remember? You and Lizzie were all—cursed? Anti-cursed? Shit, do you even know you're siblings yet?”
“Oh, seas,” Jimmy says.
“Yeah. Yeah!” 
“I don’t—Fwhip, I don’t know if I can do this,” Jimmy says.
“Tough shit,” Fwhip says. “Because I can’t do it either.”
They stand there staring at each other for a while.
“But what happens if we screw it up?” Jimmy asks. “What happens if—even if changing it’s okay, until we blew ourselves up, it was—”
“It was good,” whispers Fwhip. “It was good. We were happy. It was okay. It was good.”
“What happens if we never get that back?”
Neither Fwhip nor Jimmy can answer it. They just keep standing there by the campfire, waiting for an answer that won’t come. Instead, the minutes keep slipping away, and the weight of everything that’s just been undone gets heavier, and heavier, and heavier, until Fwhip would prefer the fire.
“Okay,” Jimmy says. “Okay. I have—I still have a nation to run.”
“Yeah, so do—so do I. Here. A personal—this is a personal number. Only Gem has it. If you call using it—”
“Okay. Yeah. Secret alliance,” agrees Jimmy. “We kissed on it and everything, that makes it unbreakable, I think. I don’t know. I haven’t kissed many people. Does this make us—the only real couple I know is Joel and Lizzie, really, and I’m not sure we should model this off of Joel, as much as I love him.”
“Jimmy, if we make it to the end of this without going insane, I will propose to you, and we’ll have a wedding to make it official. We can upstage Joel and Lizzie and everything. I don’t care what’s actually a good idea,” Fwhip says.
“You wouldn’t,” Jimmy says.
“You’re one to talk,” Fwhip says.
“Thank you,” Jimmy says, and it’s the single most desperate thing Fwhip has ever heard the other emperor say. He never wants to hear it again.
“It’s—we’re in it together, man. I’m not that selfish,” Fwhip says. 
Jimmy rubs his eyes. “Good to know we’re both learning that about ourselves.”
“Can we stay here a little longer?” Fwhip says. “Just until the embers run out.”
“Yeah,” Jimmy says.
They do. They sit next to each other. At some point, Fwhip grabs Jimmy’s hand. He stares as the fire burns down. Neither of them say much else. He doesn’t know if that’s for the better or not. Maybe they should talk more. Maybe they should try to work out what they should do, or what a secret alliance even looks like. Maybe they should argue again, because that’s fun, but—
Fwhip doesn’t know. This works, at least.
They can figure it out tomorrow. Yeah. That seems like a decision that won’t have consequences at all.
“Hey, Jimmy—” he says, and then stops. “Never mind.”
“You’re weird,” Jimmy says. “I can’t believe I time traveled with you.”
“Ditto, man.”
They can figure it out tomorrow.
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whiskersz · 2 months
Note
I absolutely love your stuff (sent in a matchup and request already) and was wondering if you could do a Husk x reader who almost immediately after seeing him decides that he's their father now (he isn't) the reader is either in their late teens to early 20's and is pretty chaotic and clingy at the same time with them constantly wanting to be around their "father". Have a wonderful day/night!
Hello and thank you so much for appreciating my works! This request was adorable, I went with HCs because I’m a bit uninspired lately? But maybe I’ll add to it in the future :3
Father Figure! Husk x Reader - Platonic
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♠ Husk never really thought of being a father, much less in literal Hell. During his life on earth he has always been a bit of a free-spirited individual, travelling from left to right, spending his days in bars and his youth performing magic for others. In Hell, his ‘life’ became a bit more stable, spent inside the Hazbin Hotel serving the residents at the bar, but he still didn’t consider himself a good example or somebody in the condition to care for another soul. So, when you came along and decided to see him out of all demons as a father figure, he was pretty surprised.
♠ Especially considering how different your two personalities are, with him being a grumpy and lazy old man and you being a pretty young and clingy individual, he thought that you two would never get along.
♠ On your first day at the Hotel though, you felt pretty out of place, and the moment he saw you struggling he felt pretty bad for you, so he decided to give you some advice to get along with the others out of the goodness of his heart.
♠ From that moment on, you two became inseparable. Now, you always want to be around your ‘father’, and find excuses to hang out with him at the bar even though he doesn’t allow you to drink alcoholic beverages.  He found this a little annoying at first, but with time you and your behaviours grew on him, and he’s always got something non-alcoholic prepared for you on the side!
♠ He also got pretty used to your turbulent personality; if someone questions your behaviour, he'll reply with something along the lines of; "Heh, no need to worry. They're just being themselves."
♠ If you accidentally call him ‘dad’ in front of the others, they will poke fun at you a bit but ultimately think it would be adorable if he was actually your father. Meanwhile he’ll be too stunned to speak; he’ll probably give you a pat on the back and send you on your way, trying not to seem too happy about it, but he’ll be thinking about it all day.
♠ When he went after Angel Dust and came back at the Hotel all beat up, you were very worried for him, and refused to leave his side until all his wounds were completely healed; fortunately the healing process only took a couple hours as they weren’t serious wounds, but you still made him promise to take care of himself and to get into as little fights as possible. He begrudgingly did, giving you a pat on the head.
♠ You also looked out for each other a lot during the Extermination, with him trying to shield you from attacks with his wings and you watching his back while he was occupied fighting against a group of Angels.
♠ He really made sure to let you know how much he appreciates you before the fight, even though he’s not really the type to talk about his feelings. The affection you feel towards him moved him though, so he decided to let his pride aside for once.
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Text
Mute Billy Batson
Billy (age 6) is with his parents when they die in a plane crash on the way back from a dig, and while he survives, he gets several large cuts from parts of the plane slicing into him. One of them hits his throat, permanently damaging his larynx (vocal cords).
Obviously, Awful Uncle Ebenezer doesn’t want to deal with a weepy mute kid who also has trouble swallowing and breathing properly, so as soon as he gets the inheritance he kicks him out. Billy gets picked up a few days later, is too scared to tell them his name, so he gives them a fake. They investigate, find nothing, see the scars and assume he’s one of those kids that was born outside a hospital and raised on the street.
Put him in the system under the new name, he goes through a lot of homes that also don’t want to deal with a mute kid who has eating/drinking/breathing problems. The last few before he runs away take advantage of him not being able to speak and only knowing a tiny bit of sign language. He runs away, gets caught, next home is the same, runs away and makes sure to stay un-caught this time.
He meets a deaf homeless person, they teach him sign language, he manages to get by with doing odd jobs and getting help from people in the area (other homeless people, prostitutes with soft spots, older people with no grandkids of their own).
Age 10 gets chosen by the Wizard because Black Adam will be arriving sooner than he anticipated, and I figure there are two ways for this to go:
A- Because he can’t speak the word, Billy is now permanently stuck as Captain Marvel, much like Black Adam is. This is the more angsty version cause the Wisdom of Solomon would warn him against being seen close to the people he used to know—it’ll likely get them targeted. So poor Billy is stuck all by his lonesome until hero/es come along.
B- Billy discovers he can use sign language to change by creating a special sign just for SHAZAM and thinking it while doing the sign with both hands. It mostly only works because as Champion of Magic it’ll do a lot of stuff for him that just flat out wouldn’t work for literally any other magic user.
(Later, Zatanna just gets so frustrated watching him do magic and Constantine just stares, drinks, and walks away with a very firm “F*ck that.”)
But either way, eventually, maybe a year later (Billy now 11), the Justice League has noticed this new, mysterious hero that never says anything and pretty much vanishes once the heroing is done.
(I think the League should only be 2/3 years old, and Batman & Superman had been heroing for maybe 5 years before that. Any other Leaguers you decide to include are newer and started up 1-2 years before whatever caused the League to be formed. Diana only just left Themyscira for the Event too. So they’re new enough not everyone immediately goes “Hey it’s you!” but organized enough to be able to find/recruit other heroes now.)
So of course, Batman and Superman decide to come introduce themselves. They find the new hero taking down a massive robot and lifting the man inside of it out by the collar like a misbehaving cat and manage to get close to him while he’s handing the villain off to the police.
They introduce themselves, ask if they can have a bit of the hero’s time, he blinks but nods and then points up at the tallest building in the city. They agree, Supes gives Batman a lift, and a few minutes later the other hero joins them after having moved the giant robot to an empty lot so that the city can deal with it out of the way.
Cue the JLers trying to ask the guy questions, and he automatically starts to answer in sign language but grimaces and stops because Billy has rarely met anyone who knows enough to understand him. But, of course, this is Batman we’re talking about, who even if he doesn’t have Cassandra yet still knows basic ASL. He asks what his name is aloud and in sign, and the other hero just lights up, huge grin, and starts signing away at rapid speed.
They learn his name is Captain Marvel, and he was chosen to be the new Champion of Magic to replace the old one who went evil right before the guy who gave him the powers died of extreme old age. (They really wish they could say they consider this strange, but they’ve met/worked with Constantine. They’ll believe pretty much anything if you put ‘magic’ in front of it.)
They chat for a while, then decide to invite him up to the Watchtower, so that, if he’s interested, he can meet the other Leaguers (they’d only be the originals and a few more they’d recruited so far) and they can have an official interview to join the Justice League. Cap agrees, gives a little wave, then zooms off to finish helping with the clean-up.
A few days later, Superman escorts Marvel to a zeta tube in Metropolis and up they go. They introduce Marvel to the other Leaguers, Batman translating, before Martian Manhunter offers to mind link them all so that they can understand Marvel himself. Cap agrees. Then they get this:
“Uh, hi, can you hear me? Oh, wow, is that how I’d sound out loud? Cool! I haven’t talked to anyone in years! Not many people know sign and most people aren’t willing to stand there waiting for me to write stuff out so I don’t get a whole lotta conversation. Anyway what did you guys wanna know?”
And all the Leaguers just, like, have theirs hearts squeeze in their chest because here’s a young man, can’t be older than 25 at most, just so happy to be able to talk to people. Who doesn’t know the sound of his own voice. Who despite that, still remains so chipper and friendly.
They don’t need a telepathic link to unanimously decide that Marvel is joining them.
Besides, having a magic user that isn’t either a young women who’s busy performing or a middle-aged alcoholic is very much welcome.
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tswwwit · 8 months
Note
Lol omg at your last ask because imagine dippers under some truth spell and ends up spilling a bunch of secrets that Bill already knew and had stashed to use for later
This is no longer 'last ask' relevant because I had this partially written in my drafts for like a million years - but a Truth spell on Dipper would be very interesting!
So I took this prompt and didn't really answer it except in some ways.
Here's a thing!
“You never bring me any souvenirs.” Bill complains. In an all-too-whiny tone, and an all-too-close lean into Dipper's personal space.
Plus, it's a blatant lie. One Dipper shouldn't respond to. 
He does anyway. “I literally brought you harpy feathers last week.” 
“Doesn’t count! That was for a ritual you wanted to pull off!” Bill sounds miffed, though he also plants a palm on Dipper’s head and starts ruffling hair. “Now where's the emerald from last March? Or like, the headdress from that cult with all the rabbit bones? The good stuff."
Dipper grunts. He focuses on navigating back out of the cave, turning the clay tablet over in his hands.
Figures Bill would remember all the times he did get something. His memory is excellent. And he’s greedy, because a new toy every time is a big ask. 
What does Bill expect, anyway. Not every situation Dipper gets into has something to bring back. What could he even offer? An ear taken off every monster he has to fight?
Wait, no. Bill would love that.
Dipper makes a face. “You've just proved that it's not ‘never’. With examples." 
"Sure, but when’s the last time it was cool?” 
Dipper sighs. No point in arguing. Bill could go on forever about how 'unfair' it is that he doesn't get trophies from every trip, or trinkets from conquered lands, or, again, ears from every enemy. When he’s decided to complain, no reasonable argument will shake him out of it.
“Too bad, then. You’re only getting some gifts.” Dipper shakes his head rapidly to dislodge Bill’s hand from his hair. "It’s hardly the worst thing that’s ever happened to you."
“Hey! I could argue that it’s related! In fact -”
Dipper tunes out the rest of Bill’s ramble, rolling his eyes. Listening with half an ear to Bill's ongoing tirade about being a poorly kept man, and unappreciated in his time. 
Despite how much he already has, Bill always wants more. Somehow he sniffed out Dipper’s latest excursion, showing up right at the end and looking for ‘loot’.
Which Dipper, by all rights, should prevent. 
 Anything magical falling into Bill's hands can cause chaos, no matter how innocuous it seems. The flower incident alone is reason not to hand Bill anything, ever, and the fact that Dipper still does sometimes should be appreciated, damn it.
Bill's complaining on and on, but whatever. Eventually he'll get bored.
 In the meantime, Dipper turns the clay tablet around again with a frown. He found something interesting, at least.
Whatever this is, it’s definitely not a language he recognizes. The script is strange, scrawled in different directions. For all he knows he’s holding it upside down. He hopes Bill doesn’t notice until he’s figured out - 
"Whatcha got there?" Just as expected - and right on time. 
Dipper feels the tablet yanked out of his grasp, unfazed. He doesn't break his stride.
"I found it in the lair, after... you know." Charred bones, explosions - Dipper wishes he could use, like water, or something, but mastery over even one element is powerful as is. "Anyway, that monster was collecting a lot of weird magic stuff, and this was the only interesting thing it had." He shrugs. Then, because Bill will like it, adds, "So... to the victor go the spoils?"
“Now that’s the spirit!” Bill gives him a grin, holding the tablet up to squint at it. Thankfully not turning it around. One point for Dipper, on not looking incompetent.
Still, if anyone can read it…
“What language is this?” Dipper not-so-subtly leans over, trying to peek around Bill’s arm.
"Old Draconic," Bill says, without missing a beat. Humming to himself as he apparently reads the text. Perking up a bit, smile widening. "Oh, hey! Iambic pentameter."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing, sapling. I just wish when people did the whole 'ancient poetry curse' thing, they'd get a little more creative. You never see hexameter! Or tetrameter! Not even a tasteful use of spondee.” Bill sticks his tongue out.  "Come to think of it - I don’t think anyone’s done a prose epic that made the reader wanna tear their eyes out since Joyce."
Sometimes with Bill, you have to read between the lines. The long, irrelevant babbling lines.
"Just tell me if I need to get Ford or not." Dipper says, flat. He rubs at the bridge of his nose. 
Among all the other stuff, Bill said ‘curse’. Never, ever a good sign.
Though the monster he just took down wasn’t a dragon, and that wasn’t really a ‘horde’ so much as something resembling the contents of the Mystery Shack, there’s absolutely no good thing about a curse. If Dipper somehow triggered it - 
Great. As if hanging around Bill alone didn’t invite enough bad fortune, he’s picking up parts of his own stupid curiosity.
"Nah, don’t bother with the loser uncle!" Bill waves his concern away, amused. “This is just purple prose! Buncha  ‘oooh, bad things’ll happen if you mess with my stuff.’ Totally boilerplate spellcraft with some flowery wording.” 
With a shrug, Bill dismisses the whole thing. Which includes chucking the tablet over his shoulder, but Dipper manages to snag it before it falls and shatters into a million pieces.
“Typical dragon horde enchantment. All bluster, no burning.” Bill keeps walking without a care in the world. “They’re full of hot air!”
“So I’m not cursed,” Dipper prompts, catching up to him. “Aside from you, I mean.”
“Flatterer,” Bill says, slightly warmer. He continues, shrugging. “No reason you would be! No dragons in the area, and the warning sign there’s too old. By my guess, the original horde was raided centuries ago! Just another piece of random crap that got dragged into that junkyard." And he ruffles Dipper’s hair again, in the second-most annoying way. "You’re stuck with me, though.”
Dipper ducks and twists, thus freeing himself from the minor torment. “I think I can live with that.”
One would think that chatting with a demon - one as cryptic and ominous and aggravating as Bill - would only cause irritation, at best. 
It still does, of course. But when it comes to Dipper, Bill… sometimes lays things out straight. On occasion. Especially when he’s instructing, doubly when it comes to magic. Like he’s trying to pour all the facts he can into Dipper’s brain, overfilling the cup.
If his goal is to overload this one mortal mind, though, he'll have to work a lot harder. 
Dipper gets out his notebook, while Bill looks away, and pretends he didn’t see it. Yet another poorly-veiled lesson, with Bill obviously trying to plant seeds re: actually casting curses. Tough luck managing that. His subtle lean towards chaos might escape the unwary, but to Dipper? Bill’s way too transparent.
The fact is, that Dipper absorbs things fast. Even Bill will admit it, sometimes without being prompted. 
That Includes stuff Bill doesn't even know he's teaching.
Bill’s also rambling on about historical curses, and how often these things backfire, or misfire. It’d almost sound like a series of unconnected, gossipy anecdotes, if it weren’t for the extra technical details. 
And Dipper’s not falling for it. As far as he's concerned, his first curse was his last one.
But then…
Even if he’s not going to use the knowledge, there's no reason not to learn it. Knowledge about making curses can also be used to break them, after all. Taking all the facts Bill smacked a ‘For Evil Purposes Only’ sticker on and using them to shatter an evil plan would be very satisfying.
They’re nearly out of the cave at this point, so Dipper figures it’s fine to let his guard down a bit. The monster's dead, all the traps were cleared out on the way in - everything should be fine.
He clicks his pen a couple times, and asks Bill to repeat that last thing, about the life drain. It gets a snort of amusement, but Bill’s more than happy to elaborate at length. Dipper struggles to keep up with Bill’s rapid-fire speech; he's trying to make this intentionally difficult, damn it.
Bill leads on with careless gestures and an uninterrupted stride. Getting ahead of Dipper by several meters, but Dipper’s got to note down what he says before he has to do something awful, like ask Bill to repeat himself.
Dipper is, in fact, so busy trying to write in shorthand, and walk, and not hit a stalactite with his face, all at the same time, that he sort of loses track of where he is.
And okay, maybe he trips over a rock slightly, and nearly faceplants, bonking against the sudden curve of a wall with a swear.
Dipper takes a step back, rubbing at his forehead. Annoying, but, whatever. There were a few traps around, but he pretty much cleared out the cave on the way in, so it’s probably - oh, hell.
Not fine, he dropped the stupid tablet.
Great. The only really interesting object, shattered into half a dozen pieces. So much from saving it from Bill; Dipper himself fumbled the bag.
He backs up to evaluate the damage -
The stone sinks under his foot, and something goes ‘click’.
With a start, Dipper raises a shield without thinking, arm jerking up as he wills his magic into the gesture. It's solid enough for something done on reflex, but an impact hits hard on his side, with sudden, stinging pain. 
And a pretty hard impact, at that. He didn’t get it solid enough, damn it, wasn’t expecting something physical -  
Dipper wheezes out a breath, slumping to the ground and clutching his stomach. 
Alright. So. He got most of the traps. 
He sits down, and lets his head thump back against the stone, teeth bared in a grimace. Stupid. Should have been paying attention. 
The commotion makes Bill turn his head, blinking at Dipper sitting on the ground. 
Then -  because he’s an asshole - he starts laughing. 
“I know I’m fascinating, sapling, but really?” He tuts, setting fists on his hips. “Not sure if I should be flattered that you’re obsessed with me, or disappointed that you’re dumb enough to walk right into a wall.”
Dipper sucks in a breath, gingerly touching his side. Doesn’t seem like - he glances down. Sure, it stings, and his shirt’s torn, a long, shallow cut on his stomach, just near the old scar. But that’s about it. Over to his side, an arrow rolls against the ground, stone head clicking against the ground.
Over by the cave mouth, Bill’s cackling. God, he’s a jerk sometimes. 
But he must not have seen the trap set off, too wrapped up in his own stupid bullshit, or he’d be less of one. Dipper knows that for a fact. Though he’d really, really prefer he’d never had that experience. 
“C’mon, kid. If you’re not even more brain damaged from your bump, let’s ditch this joint.” Bill jerks his head over his shoulder. 
Dipper hugs himself around the torso, grimacing. Not bothering to respond. His heart is still pounding, or he’d have a retort ready. Adrenaline’s helped him out in a lot of situations, but not with talking. He’ll get up when he’s ready.
“What, you smash your skull open or something?” Bill raises one arch eyebrow. 
Though Dipper knows why Bill’s like this, it’s still deeply annoying. He shakes his head in lieu of a reply. In a second, he’ll be calm enough to tell Bill exactly what he thinks of his incredibly poor bedside - and cave-side - manner. 
“Figures. Can’t leave you alone for five minutes without your guts spilling everywhere.” Bill clicks his tongue, folding his arms and stepping forward. “What’s the damage?”
“It hurts.” Dipper says, through gritted teeth. Then pauses. Wait, he meant to say - He shakes his head rapidly, only for more words to force themselves out, unbidden. “I got cut again.”
Again, not what he intended. Dipper lowers his chin, teeth clenched. What the hell, he shouldn’t have said that. Bill’s mocking aside, maybe he did hit his head a little too hard. Once Bill gets the mockery out of his system, he’s going to be a total pest about it, too.
With a huff, Dipper slumps. Settling in for a sulk, waiting for the next jab - But there’s no insult forthcoming. Or argument. 
In fact, Bill’s gone totally silent. Which is super weird. 
Dipper looks up at the cave entrance, expecting a comment or a question, or at least a huge grin. He tenses up, hunching over.
And meets a frozen, unsmiling face. 
Bill dropped his arms, they hang limp by his sides. His expression’s gone blank.
The next moment, he’s right in front of Dipper, kneeling and tugging at his arms with alarming urgency. 
“Alright, lemme see.” Bill’s face is very close. Though he’s trying to pull his arms away, Dipper resists out of sheer surprise. Bill growls, eye darting around until it lands on the arrow. “Oh for - Really can’t leave you alone for five minutes. Move.” 
Another pull, less hard this time. Like he’s trying to ease Dipper’s arms away.
“Wh- Hey!” Dipper plants a foot against Bill’s chest, but that hardly stops anything. He raises his arms. Holding them up, in fact, like he’s at gunpoint. Where’d this come from. “Don’t get upset, I’m fine.”
“Ha! Good one, sapling. Who’s upset, exactly?” Bill says, teeth bared, and in a deeply upset way. He tugs Dipper’s shirt, up, fingers tracing the cut before pressing into his stomach. “I’m just wondering if I need a replacement mortal this soon into your miserable existence. No big deal!”
Okay, this is too much. 
Dipper struggles up, despite Bill trying to shove him down again. Bracing himself on the cave wall, and glaring. “Calm down already.”
“I’m perfectly calm.” Bill says, through gritted teeth. At best he looks miffed, but he’s at least stopped trying to make Dipper lie down in the recovery position or whatever. With a glare, he tugs up Dipper’s shirt, prodding at the shallow cut. “What the hell, kid. I thought you said it hurt!”
“Ow.” Dipper’s stomach jumps at another poke. He smacks Bill’s hand away. “It does, alright? Quit poking.”
Bill doesn’t seem impressed. His fingers trail over the larger, older scar on Dipper’s left side, then glares at Dipper’s stomach like it’s insulted him. A beat, then - “You don’t usually complain.”
“I-” Okay, true. Dipper glares anyway. “Shut up.” 
He doesn’t complain because it’s the only option. For all that Bill whines and teases and taunts Dipper, all the time, about being some ‘fragile mortal meatsack’, already rotting before his eyes, he really doesn’t like it when it’s brought forcefully to his attention. 
God, he shouldn't have said anything. Ninety-five percent of the time, there isn’t any harm to mention. But when Dipper does ends up showing he is kind of… mortal, and it’s small, he just. Doesn’t bring it up. For all that they bicker all the time, he doesn’t like to make Bill upset.
Bill grunts, mouth turned down at the corners. He stands up quickly, folding his arms. His lip curls up in a sneer. “If you wanted attention, kid, there are way better ways to-”
Oh, fuck that. Dipper flips him off, and starts storming off. 
God, this is stupid. Whenever Dipper ever breaks a bone or something, he gets teased about being so weak and vulnerable. Which he is, but neither of them like the reminder. 
These days, it also comes with some weirdly maybe-sincere ‘kiss it better’ thing that Dipper then has to disinfect. A lot of hovering, and rambling commentary. Sometimes creative descriptions of how much worse it could have been, and Dipper never needed those, at any time. Bill gets oddly fixated on such random little moments, and it’s just -
Dipper doesn’t like it, is all. Bill gets the way he gets, it’s a lot, and it’s easier just to avoid it. If he were a different guy - a human guy, or even mostly-human monster- Dipper might try to talk to him about it.
But Bill’s a demon. Not normal, barely sane even on his best days, and worse, he’s Bill, so. That conversation would go precisely nowhere.
Behind him, he hears said demon approaching, fast. Stupid jerk. He should be as tall as his real form. That’d be fair. More accurate, too, and then Dipper could properly stomp off without Bill catching up so easily.
Already the bastard is by Dipper’s side. A tall, irritating presence. Hovering close without grabbing on, which adds to said irritation. 
Dipper leans away, but Bill catches him around the waist and drags him in.
“Don’t get so grumpy, sapling, you’re fine! A little nick in the outer layer rarely killed anyone since they invented antibiotics.” Though he pinches Dipper’s cheek, he yanks his head away with a grunt. Bill sighs. “Everything’s a-okay here! Looks like I don't have to find a replacement just yet.”
Bill’s an idiot. Dipper scoffs, though an unpleasant feeling crawls in his gut. “Oh yeah? Who would you replace me with?”
“Eh, not like I got anyone specific in mind.” Bill waves that off, nonchalant. “But I have options! Lots of options.” He bumps a hip against Dipper. “Keep that in mind before you go charging off into obvious traps.”
This goddamn liar. Dipper  elbows him in the side, because the asshole deserves it. 
Not that Dipper’s worried, or anything. From what little he’s heard of Bill’s exes in the demonic rumor mill - Bill’s been, as they say, less than successful. Already Dipper’s outstripped his longest by years.. Bill can lie day in and day out about his options, put on a brave face - but they both know he’s not going to find this again. Not easily. 
“Good luck finding another husband, asshole.” Dipper says with appropriate derision. It’s annoying that Bill even brought it up. There’s a good riposte in there, somewhere - but while his brain is coming up with an insult, his mouth runs on automatic. “But I was really worried that you would last week. I couldn’t stop thinking about it all day until you sent a dick pic. It was weirdly comforting.”
Bill turns toward him with genuine surprise. He even blinks a few times, no retort emerging, and Dipper looks back at him with equal surprise. 
Until his mind catches up with what he just said. 
Dipper digs his heels in the ground, slamming to a halt. Clapping both hands to his mouth, eyes wide.
Beside him Bill nearly trips at the sudden stop, flailing for balance with a swear.
Shit, shit shit. Dipper really didn’t mean to say that. He knows Bill’s not looking around, that he’s not interested. Cynically, that he couldn’t manage it if he was. Last week was just a one-off anxiety, like all the others Dipper’s brain comes up with when it gets too much free time. Totally irrational, and really hard to stop fixating on.
Bill keeps staring. Not angry, just confused, for long enough that Dipper wants to shrink into the ground and melt into nothingness. 
Then he asks, “What the hell, Pine Tree?” 
“I don’t know! I don’t know why I thought that. I don’t know why I said that.” Dipper cringes into himself, grimacing and ducking his head. He runs a hand over his slightly sweaty face. “I didn't even want you to know I got hurt.” 
At that, Bill snorts. “Oh, please. I’d have seen that first time I got your shirt off. You can’t keep secrets from me!” 
Dipper folds his arms, internally seething - and his stupid mouth moves to say,  “I’ve done it before.” 
This time, the silence is tense.
Dipper wipes his sweating forehead again, not daring to meet Bill’s eye. God he shouldn't have -
Before he can think, he blurts out, “I think something’s wrong.” 
“Probably!” Bill agrees, with a smile just a little too sharp. He takes Dipper’s face in both hands, eye narrowed. “Hold still a sec.”
As Bill’s eye flickers blue, and the magic between them surges -  Dipper squirms a bit, but. Well. If anything’s wrong with him - magically, anyway - Bill’s the best one to diagnose it..
Bill tilts his head to one side, then the other. After a moment, his mouth twists up into something unpleasant, eye glowing slightly brighter for an instant.
Then he sighs, and lets Dipper go. His expression is neutral, except for the slightest downturn of his mouth. His lips part like he’s about to speak, then twist up into a grimace.
Uh oh.
Whatever Bill saw, he didn’t like it.
“What?” Dipper pats his head, then his chest. If there was something weird, magically about him, he - wouldn’t be able to tell, actually. He’s too close to get a good look. Oh god, what if he did hit his head too hard, and something in his brain is bleeding, or worse. “Wait. Am I dying?”
“Worse! You’re telling the truth.” Bill claps his hands together. Though he’s smiling again, it’s brittle and annoyed. “Don’t suppose you know any curse breakers that aren’t your great-uncle?”
“Not really,” Dipper admits. Bill's words catch up to him, and he bites his lip. Then, because the situation deserves it, “Fuck.”
Protection curse. The tablet.
Damn it.
A part of a horde, from a long time ago. Messed with. It should have been something less awful. Like warts, or sprouting plants from his skin, or a big fireball. Pretty much anything else would be less awful.
Truth curses are rare, they’re difficult as hell - but judging by the words spilling out of Dipper, he’s caught a pretty strong variant.
Of all the curses that could hit him. Why this one.
Hell, maybe it’s intended to be the worst curse possible for the ‘thief’. That would explain how targeted this feels. 
And knowing Dipper’s luck, that part was explained on, like, the back of the tablet.
“Welp! Good thing I’m not short on contacts, kid.” Bill grapes his shoulder, shaking him a bit, before he trails an arm over Dipper’s shoulders. “Who wants some fumbling idiot uncle to fix this kinda spell, anyway?”
Dipper would! If it was feasible. He makes a brief attempt at shrugging Bill’s arm up before letting his shoulders slump.
The idea of Ford hearing about this is….
Dipper sucks in a breath through his teeth.
Ford really would have a way around this. He'd certainly have the best intentions, Dipper’s certain. He'd...
Also not have the best sense of boundaries.
Though he'd be doing it for the right reasons, he'd ask the wrong questions. Out of concern, and arguably valid worry; he's never fully believed that Bill can't influence him. Despite how many times Dipper’s tried to explain it to him, Ford just can’t wrap his mind around certain truths.
With this curse, though. Between poor social sense, the Pines curiosity, and what Dipper might blurt out, while compelled to answer - 
On this, Dipper agrees with Bill. They’ll have to find something else to break this.
In the meantime, he’ll manage, like he has all the other times his life has sucked. Hardly the worst case scenario. If Bill had been cursed - someone who lies like he breathes -  Who knows? Give it a few days, and he might just explode from all the backed up bullshit.
“Wait.” A horrible thought strikes. Dipper reels on his husband, eyes wide. “Are you okay?”
“What, me? I’m a perfectly moral human man,” Bill says, resting a hand on his chest, lifting his chin with pride. “A boring sentient mammal who’s never found curses entertaining.” 
Yep, Bill’s fine. As always, it’s Dipper who gets the short end of the stick. 
He breathes in slowly, and lets it out. 
Yeah. Still sucks. He’ll deal. Cursed, but not dead. In danger, but not the worst - and his husband’s being annoying, which means he’s perfectly fine. There’s a solution too - it’s just going to be a huge, annoying process getting to it. 
“So,” Bill says, slowly. Drawing the word out in a long string, while he finger-walks his arm up around Dipper’s shoulder.
Uh oh.
Speaking of annoying…
“Watch it,” Dipper hunches his shoulders, not daring to look his idiot husband in the eye. “You’re this close to sleeping on the couch for a month.” Not a big enough threat, Bill’s still thinking- “Or for a year.”
“Oh, sure,” Bill says, in a distracted tone. His fingers pause on their walk, one ‘leg’ poised on Dipper’s clavicle. They hold the position for a long moment, tapping out a little marching step - and seconds later, his palm slaps down on Dipper’s shoulder. “So, Pine Tree! How do you feel about this ‘Bill Cipher’ guy?”
Though Dipper resists, and he really tries to, the words slip out past his teeth, his lips form the sounds -
“I love you.” God. Damnit. He clenches his fists, as Bill’s sheer smugness radiates from him like heat. “And I’m thinking about shoving you off a cliff right now.”
When Bill paused, Dipper thought he might have fended this off. Wishful thinking, really, Bill’s almost impossible to stop. Dipper used what leverage he had, but all he’s managed to avoid are the worst, most invasive questions.
When it comes to Bill, that’s pretty close to a win.
Not that it’s going to feel like one.
Bill has, in fact, been encouraged. Now that he’s heard something he likes, he leans in like a weird creep. Dipper can practically hear the leer in his voice. “And on a scale of one to ten, how handsome am I?
“Ten point five,” Dipper needs to loosen his jaw or he might break a filling. Being pumped for information is bad enough without pumping up Bill’s already ridiculous ego. “You bastard.” 
Bill’s chest puffs out, there’s a strut in his stride. The grin is so wide now Dipper’s pretty sure it should hurt- and if he dares to pucker up, he’s not getting lips on his awful face.  “And am I the most clever and sexually amazing guy in the universe or what?
This time, Dipper snorts. 
“Definitely not.” He ignores the sharp, indignant sound next to him, tilting his head in thought. “For one, there’s succubi and incubi, so. Sexually, you’re not even on top amongst demons.” He glances over at the offended ‘o’ of Bill’s mouth. “And I know you’re not the most clever, because I win our debates nearly half the time. Maybe you’re up there, but not the most. And that’s just the surface level stuff.”
Dipper doesn’t have a complete cosmological view of the multiverse, but he has learned a lot. Mostly stuff he picked up from his husband, and demonic gossip. It’s absolutely enough to go on a long, long ramble about how Bill most likely doesn’t rank number one in anything. If Dipper avoids the topics where he actually is.
He’s barely fifteen seconds in before Bill starts scowling, with a grumpy hunch to his shoulders - But screw him. 
Dipper starts smiling, just a bit. Then, to be a dick, he adds, 
“The ten and a half is just me, anyway. To the average human, you’re maybe an eight..” Dipper continues, over another spluttered protest. Again, true; not everyone likes the slightly inhuman maniac cyclops look. “Six with your personality.” 
Bill groans. “Ugh, you pedant.” He squeezes Dipper’s shoulder, jostling him slightly. “C’mon, you know what I meant! What’s the real - “
“Don’t ask questions if you can’t handle the answers,” Dipper warns, jabbing Bill in the chest. So far it hasn’t been too much, but it could be. Time to draw a line. “I will suck so much fun out of this for you.” 
Bill Cipher, unintentional teacher once more. Now Dipper knows the curse isn’t about perfect truth. When he can deliberately misinterpret a question’s intent, and can go on tangents  - that means he has loopholes. There might even be more, if he tries.
And if they can’t get this settled soon, he’ll need every one of those he can find.
“Clever brat.” Bill’s frowning, but he can’t disguise the amusement in his voice. His eyebrows wiggle, his arm hauling him close -  "Go ahead, then. Anything else you wanna share?"
"I know two and half ways to kill you, Bill Cipher." Dipper gets right up in his face. He won’t let Bill push this any further. "Don't tempt me to use them."
Being face to face like this, Dipper watches Bill’s eye go wide - ha, didn’t expect that, did he. With that threat, he’ll - 
Start cackling. And weirdly, turn a little pink. Dipper feels all the momentum he had whoosh out of him like sad balloon animal. 
“Boy, you are a saucy one!” Bill whistles, low. He places his hands demurely on his cheeks, fluttering his eye at Dipper with amusement. “Oh, yeah. Talk deadly to me.”
By this time, Dipper figures he should be used to stumbling into demonic flirtation. Only it turns out it’s basically fractal in nature, and he keeps running into new and newer edge cases.
“Fun as this is - we gotta get you cleared up, and no time like the present!” Bill’s calmed down enough to scoop an arm around his waist, leading Dipper onward. “Can’t have you babbling everything to everyone, y’know?”
“What, you don’t want me telling you everything?” Total bullshit. Dipper elbows him in the side. “I thought you wanted to get in my head.”
“Hey! I didn’t ask for our game to be set on ‘beginner’ mode. That’s boring.” Bill flicks his fingers - but he’s got his ‘evading questions’ look on. “You’re lucky I’m so- oof.”
Another elbow, harder this time. Bill grunts, but capitulates. Rubbing at his eye briefly, he sighs.
“So! How many of my secrets would you say you know, Pine Tree?” Bill tightens his grip on Dipper’s waist, tugging him closer. “And I’m talking about the ones that I wouldn’t enjoy getting out in the world.”
“More than I can count.” Dipper says without thinking. Then, with thinking -  “Oh.”
Dipper hadn’t considered how much Bill’s taught him, before this exact moment. How much he’s learned. Even unintentionally. Especially unintentionally. 
Crap, even his threat before was kind of - 
Shit. There’s definitely, absolutely, no way can they go to Ford about this. Total recipe for disaster.
“See? We both got liabilities in play here.” Bill moves easily as Dipper picks up the pace. If anything he’s amused, and not feeling nearly as urgent. Another reason he’s an idiot. “All we gotta do is get you patched up quick, and no more loose lips sinking ships! Easy-peasy.”
“It better be,” Dipper mutters. Nothing ever goes right for him. And by extension, them.
“Trust me, kid! I got this handled!” Bill snaps his fingers - and smacks Dipper’s butt with a wink. “I know some guys!”
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moghedien · 5 days
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I’m like sooo curious about the Aylin and Isobel after all this because we know they’re going help Selunite enclaves or whatever and I don’t think they’re ever gonna turn away from Selune really but I do wonder if there’s like a twinge of something about their relationship with the goddess now
because again I don’t think they’re gonna turn from her, but they both have their issues and trauma now. Aylin’s is a bit more obvious but I can’t stop thinking about how the game basically tells you that Isobel came back wrong and then never acknowledges that again.
Obviously she didn’t come back as wrong as some of her kin, but the first time we see her she seems ill with something. You can kinda dismiss that as being related to the Shadow curse without full context. Even if you read her diary, you can kinda dismiss it until you understand she’s Ketheric’s dead daughter.
Her diary:
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Like she clearly isnt being spurned by Selune completely as she still has cleric magic and can still protect Last Light, but the phrase “there are some things she would never accept in her devoted” is so ominous. Isobel clearly knows that Selune is having some problem with her and the fact that the problem isn’t as clear as being denied her magic makes it even more ominous. If not that, then what is happening that makes this clear to her?
Then there’s Aylin, who is literally the daughter of Selune, who was sent by her mother to the Thorms. And obviously there isn’t any regret there because of Isobel, but then the Isobel dies under vague circumstances that may or may not be Shar related based on cut content. Then the people that Selune sent Aylin to protect cage her and torture her and use her as a lab rat and organ donor and ritual sacrifice over and over again for the next 100 years.
Aylin was supposed to be an envoy of her mother and ended up being the instrument in which Shar made weapon after weapon. She’s unwillingly spreading the darkness she’s against and all because Selune sent her to these people. Literally 100 years where all she can do is die again and again until she can convince one Sharran to listen to her and not just kill her again.
And like, you can also take into account the possibility that Aylin is an oathbreaker now. I don’t personally buy the theory but I know a lot of people do suspect that her reaction to killing Lorrokan was due to it breaking her oath. I think it’s more likely a trauma response but we can look at this either way.
Because killing Lorrokan should have been the righteous move. He was trying to use and defile her, one of Selune’s children, for his own petty reasons. He was going to commit the same sins as Ketheric. And it wasn’t like Aylin was the only potential victim of him. We know he hurt Rolan, and no doubt many others. What would a man like that do with immortality?
But then killing him just makes her feel empty? She protected herself. Protected Selune’s sword and anyone else that might have been suffering under him. And it doesn’t fill her with the same righteous ecstasy that it should. Suddenly being the righteous paladin doesn’t feel good, it just feels empty.
And if you believe that it did break her oath, then what? She’s being punished by Selune for defending herself and others? She stopped Selune’s envoy from being used in the same profane ritual she just escaped from and gets rejected and punished for that? She’s the one accused of violating Selune?
Again, I don’t personally think the reaction was caused by breaking her oath, but I think it’s a compelling angle to look at, at least.
And all of this to say that again, I don’t think either of them are going to turn against Selune and I don’t think they have a very strong reason to. But I do wonder how their relationship with her has changed in the last 100 years while Aylin was being forced to die for Shar over and over again and Isobel was forced to live by Mrykul, completely unprotected by the moonmaiden they had both been absolutely devoted to.
I just wonder what was going through their heads when they talked to Shadowheart about her past and the fact that she has a choice now, that Selune would take her back after a life time of Sharran indoctrination and crimes committed in her name. Now she has a choice. I wonder if in that moment, there wasn’t even the smallest bit of bitterness toward Selune on their part.
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i keep thinking about my changeling steve au that i posted about here like. What About His Parents
this ended up so long i put it on ao3 too, you can read it here
like steves known he’s a changeling for a few months now, and in that time his parents still haven’t come home. he hasn’t really thought about it, except during his weekly scheduled 3am identity crisis. eddie’s told him that based on what he knows about changelings (just from old stories and things, neither he nor wayne have ever actually met one, which makes him kind of useless as a guru but like. points for trying), their human parents usually have a human baby that gets replaced and they don’t notice until the kid grows up Wrong. honestly, it figures that his parents just never got around to noticing.
at least that’s what he thinks. but one day, he’s walking past his dad’s office, struggling to carry a huge pile of laundry bc he put it off too long and ended up having to wash like literally every piece of clothing he owns. and a tshirt slips right as he passes the door. he reaches out for it on instinct, brushes his hand against the handle, and it hurts. hurts so bad he drops his laundry, instinctively drawing his hand in to cradle the pain. did he overestimate his strength again? he’s been doing that a lot lately, kind of embarrassing to break his hand or something punching a doorknob by accident. but then he looks at his hand, and he doesn’t have the kind of mark he’d expect from just whacking it really hard. it’s red and shiny, like a burn in the exact shape of the doorknob
it’s an iron burn. none of the other knobs in the house are iron.
honestly of all the restrictions placed on him now that he’s become Fully Fae, he thought the iron sensitivity would come up more often. turns out not much is made of iron anymore. all the other doorknobs he’s touched have been aluminum or brass or something. so far the whole ‘needing to be invited in to places’ has been way more annoying. the kids don’t know about the whole fae thing yet and also have no manners, so he’s been doing a lot of loitering outside their open doors until their parents notice and politely invite him in.
he looks at the doorknob again. it doesn’t look like iron. it looks like all the other knobs in the house, sort of light and shiny. he brings his hand near it again, and he can feel the heat coming off it before his skin even touches the metal.
he’s not allowed in his dad’s office. it’s one of the few rules his parents ever enforced, his dad glaring at him if steve happened to be in the hall when he opened the door, like he thought steve would try to make a run into the room in the three seconds of open door time he was given. steve could take a hint, even as a kid.
now though, there’s something prickling at the base of his skull, that new sense he has for something being wrong screaming at him that it’s certainly odd that the one room in the house that he’s not allowed to enter is also the one room in the house with a door he can’t physically touch.
he does what any reasonable fairy would do. abandons his gigantic pile of laundry on the floor and runs downstairs to call a witch.
eddie shows up about five minutes earlier than he reasonably should have, which probably wasn’t magic but instead him fucking flooring it the entire way to steve’s house. he’s got a big messenger bag over his shoulder, and he pulls a smaller bag out of it and displays the bunch of weird bent pins inside with a conspiratorial eyebrow wiggle
‘i have literally always been looking for an excuse to use these. you’re my hero, stevie.’
steve snorts and leads eddie upstairs. the witch kindly doesn’t mention the laundry strewn all over the hallway, just kicks a pair of (clean!!!!) boxers out of the way and kneels down in front of the door, inspecting the knob closely.
‘it doesn’t look like iron.’
‘tell that to my hand, man. i spent the entire time you were driving over here running my hand under cold water and it still fucking hurts.’
eddie hums, absentmindedly grabbing steve’s hand as he continues to squint at the knob. he runs his thumb over the burn mark and the pain is instantly gone.
steve looks at his hand. it’s totally fine, no mark at all. ‘thanks,’ he says, and eddie shoots him a little smile over his shoulder before turning back to the door.
‘no magic on it,’ he mutters. he brings a nail up and scratches lightly at the knob. the silver of it flakes a little, exposing something darker underneath. it’s painted. iron painted to look like the aluminum of the other knobs in the house. steve and eddie exchange frowns.
eddie quickly grabs his picks, shoves them into the lock and wiggling them around for a bit. like a while. steve’s about to tease him for his apparent lack in any actual criminal ability when something clicks, and eddie turns the door handle with a whoop. the door swings open, and eddie sniffs for a minute, like alarm magic has a scent component or something, before shrugging and rushing in.
and steve goes to follow. well, he tries. when he lifts his foot to cross the threshold of the room, something physically stops him. it’s like a strong wind is coming out of the room, blowing back his leg anytime it gets too close. eddie looks back at him in confusion, before his eyes land on something on the doorjamb and his face falls into something cold. steve follows his line of sight and his heart stops for a second.
there’s a small horseshoe nailed to the doorjamb.
until now, steve realises he’d been hoping there was a reasonable explanation for the iron handle. maybe when they were building the house the store ran out of aluminum ones so his dad just got an iron one because it looked the most similar, something like that. but there’s no reason for the horseshoe. no reason except that someone wanted to keep fae out of this room. which means whoever put it there knew fae entering this room was a risk.
his parents fucking knew what he was. they just never said or did anything about it. nothing except block off this room.
eddie shifts a little in the middle of the room. ‘steve?’ he asks. his voice is soft, hesitant, like he’s trying not to spook a wild animal. ‘are you okay?’
steve wrenches his eyes away from the horseshoe, focusses on his feet. when he catches a glimpse of his clenched fists by his hips, he realises he’s glowing again, sparks dancing up and down his veins and lighting him up from the inside like a human lava lamp. well, not so human. that’s the problem.
he takes a deep breath to get his magic under control before he accidentally lights something on fire. looks up to eddie, still standing in the middle of the office like he doesn’t know what to do. ‘he’s hiding something in here. find it.’
part of steve, the human part, feels bad for ordering his friend around like that. but eddie just nods with determination, rooting around in his bag for something.
‘i’m not sensing any secrecy charms or alarms or anything in here, which means i can use...’ he takes a travel mug out of the bag and brandishes it with a flourish. ‘this!’
steve snorts. ‘a cup of coffee?’
eddie rolls his eyes, shaking the mug for a second and then opening it to check on the contents. ‘it’s a brewed spell. it shows hidden things.’
‘and you put it in a travel mug?’
‘oh i’m sorry, i was running a little low on fuckin’. crystal flasks. what the hell else was i supposed to put it in?’
‘i just thought with your whole... satanist metalhead deal you’d be a little more dedicated to the witchy aesthetic.’
eddie huffs, grumbles something that sounds suspiciously like i’ll show you witchy aesthetic, before upending the travel mug onto the floor.
what comes out isn’t really liquid, more like the soupy fog that comes out of a fog machine, except it’s a pleasant sage green colour. the fog quickly covers the whole room, before seeming to pool in two areas: one under the desk and another over the little throw rug in the middle of the room.
‘okay, we got two hidden things, which one are we checking out first?’
steve considers. ‘the desk one is probably just boring shit. pictures of his mistress, or, i dunno, evidence of tax fraud or something. try the rug.’
eddie nods decisively, throwing back the rug and inspecting the wooden floorboards until he finds one that seems a little loose. he pulls it back with a bit of a grunt, and immediately sticks his hand down there and starts rummaging around like he wouldn’t start screaming bloody murder the second a spider touched his hand. after a moment, he makes a triumphant sound, and pulls out a book.
it looks old, maybe a hundred years or so, and steve has the fleeting thought that if nancy found out his dad had been keeping a fragile antique book under the floorboards, she’d probably rip him that new one she’s been threatening since steve brought her to a family dinner and his dad called her ‘lower middle class’ like it was a bad thing.
‘it’s a grimoire,’ eddie says, sitting cross-legged on the floor and gently opening the book. at steve’s confused silence, he adds, ‘a spellbook. sort of. looks like this one isn’t a witch’s grimoire, it’s mostly human magic, judging by the table of contents.’
‘i thought regular humans couldn’t do magic.’
‘they can’t do like, spells. but there’s little stuff, especially when it comes to dealing with other creatures. like, uh,’ a pained look crosses his face as he inclines his head to the horseshoe still denying steve entry. ‘the horseshoe. technically magic. if they’d just hung it for like, decoration, it wouldn’t keep you out. there’s gotta be intent behind it.’
steve huffs, glaring at the horseshoe. ‘so what, they figured out i was a changeling and they got a whole book to figure out how to herd me like a sheep?’
eddie winces at steve’s tone, but hey, who can blame him. this is a lot. ‘maybe. there’s a lot of stuff about fae in here. descriptions of types, etiquette stuff, protections- oh shit.’
steve snaps his head back to eddie, who’s currently staring at the book like a spider’s just crawled out of the binding. then he seems to gather himself, muttering furiously under his breath as he flips through the pages, no more care shown for the book’s antiquity. ‘what is it?’
eddie settles on a page towards the back of the book, reading through with a furious look on his face. he gets up, walks over to steve still standing helplessly in the doorway, and thrusts the book towards him. steve looks down.
the words are a little hard to read, handwritten with spidery loops and the ink a little faded, but steve eventually gets the gist.
it’s instructions for summoning a changeling child.
steve, stupid, forgiving steve, thinks for a moment that this isn’t so bad. maybe his parents couldn’t have biological kids or something and this seemed like their only option. weird to not just adopt a human child, but whatever. and then he reads the paragraph extolling the virtues of having a changeling in the house- how they bring good luck, how they have a nose for finding treasures, and he realises no. his parents never wanted a kid (like he didn’t already know that), they wanted a superpowered pet. the final nail in the coffin is when he reads that the summoning process involves a human child, too. they’d had their own kid at one point, biologically or adopted, and they’d traded them in for a newer, more exciting model probably without a second thought.
and then they’d abandoned the newer model too.
steve barely even realises when he sets the book on fire, the glow that’s been simmering under his skin since he first saw the horseshoe spilling out from his fingertips in a shower of sparks. eddie doesn’t even really react, just calmly bats the flaming book out of steve’s hands and uses one of the sweaters littering the ground to smother the fire. he doesn’t mention the way the lights are flickering, pulsing light so strongly they’re in danger of blowing out. just softly wraps his arms around steve’s torso, murmuring gentle words into the crook of his neck as he strokes his hair.
the first tears that fall from steve’s eyes dissolve into harmless sparks of light against eddie’s shoulder. eddie doesn’t seem to mind, just keeps stroking steve’s hair as he whispers that it’s okay, eddie’s there, eddie’s got him.
steve doesn’t know how long they stand there like that. when he pulls back to wipe his eyes, his light-tears are still hanging in the air around them like an asteroid belt made of hundreds of little still fireflies. eddie pokes one. it glows brighter.
rubbing his face, steve sighs, waves the lights away with a motion of his hand. eddie looks put out for a second, before catching the determined look in steve’s eye and watching him warily.
‘what are you going to do?’ he asks, a little apprehensively.
‘i’m going to call my dad,’ steve replies, stalking off towards the stairs before eddie can even get out a strangled ‘okay?’
steve’s already punched in the number for his dad’s office by the time eddie catches up. his secretary picks up, asks who’s calling, and steve musters all the charm he can to try and convince her to put him through. she usually doesn’t, apologetically explains that his dad’s in a meeting, or out of the office, or swamped with work, or a hundred other excuses, but that she’ll tell him steve called and he’ll get back to him as soon as possible. he never does. steve’s not sure if she knows that; the guilt in her voice could just as easily be because she’s sleeping with him and feels bad for ruining their ‘perfect family’.
either way, steve’s not taking chances. he’s never tried to magically charm someone over the phone before, doesn’t even do it much in person either, it feels skeevy (although he has gotten out of a suspicious amount of detentions, even before he fully came into his magic. whoops.). but wouldn’t you know, this time she says he’s called at the perfect time, his dad’s just got out of a meeting and she’s sure he’d be thrilled to hear from his loving son. steve has to physically bite back a cutting remark as she puts him through.
for all his rage, steve doesn’t really remember much of this conversation. he talks like he’s in a fugue state, his brain packing everything away into some dark corner of his mind the second after it’s said, focussing instead on the way eddie’s face gets steadily more distressed where he can see it out of the corner of his eye.
he knows he asks his dad to come home so they can talk about something important. he knows his dad scoffs, tells him he can’t possibly come home right now and steve can’t possibly have anything to say that’s so important he can’t say it over the phone. knows he tells his dad he found the book under the floorboards. knows the silence on the other end of the phone is so loud it’s deafening.
the rest of it is fuzzy. honestly, it probably goes exactly how he expected it was going to go. there’s some yelling, some accusations, his dad calls him a disappointment once or ten times. and at the end of it his dad tells him if he’s going to be so ungrateful he can pack his bags and get out of the house the real harringtons are paying for.
eddie hangs up the phone for him when he hears that. hard not to hear it, the way harrington sr. is screaming through the phoneline. if steve tried hard enough, he could probably still hear him yelling all the way from indianapolis, and he probably wouldn’t even need to use magic.
they stand in silence for a moment. steve staring at the phone, eddie staring at steve. and then steve feels an itch under his skin.
he’s no longer welcome in this house.
he’s got a couple minutes before the nausea sets in, probably, so he books it upstairs to fit as much of his shit in his sports bag as he can fit. it’s mainly clothes. god knows he doesn’t give a shit about any of the things his parents- no, mr. and mrs. harrington- picked out for his perfect boy’s room. there’s the walkie, a couple gifts from the kids. that’s it.
and then he’s out, stumbling a little over the threshold when the magic finally locks in and physically boots him from the house. eddie’s following behind, frantically grabbing his bag and his jacket as he shouts for steve’s attention.
‘what, you’re just gonna leave? immediately? you can take more time to get your stuff-’
‘no,’ steve says, the word ripping itself from his throat, short and harsh. ‘‘no i can’t actually. don’t have an invitation.’
and isn’t that look on eddie’s face heartbreaking. steve doesn’t want to cry out here- it’s a little early for firefly season and the lights would get too much attention. so he throws his bags in the backseat of the beamer, gets in the driver’s seat, and just. sits for a second.
eddie gets in next to him, gives him a gentle look. ‘are you alright?’
steve snorts, giving eddie a side-eye.
‘yeah, okay, fair,’ eddie replies with a weak huff of a laugh. ‘you got a plan?’
shit. no he didn’t, actually. ‘i mean, worst comes to worst, i guess i could sleep in a tree? i just figured out how to get in one, pretty good timing, huh?’
eddie looks at him like he’s grown a second head. not impossible, but steve thinks he’d notice. ‘sleep in a tree? what the hell does that mean?’
steve shrugs. ‘like, just climb inside. it’s kinda like putting on a jacket, really, but like. 360 degrees. could probably only do that to sleep, though, i haven’t really figured out how to not like, become the tree. And trees don’t really do anything, so it just makes me sleepy.’
eddie continues to stare at him a second before he shakes his head dramatically, like a dog getting out of a bath. steve huffs a laugh despite himself. ‘whatever, don’t sleep in a tree man, that’s crazy. you can stay at mine, if you want.’
‘what?’
eddie shrugs. ‘i mean, it’s no 360 degree jacket, but it’s nice. lots of amenities that trees don’t offer: shower, stove, tv, et cetera.’
‘that’s-’ that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever offered him. eddie’s looked out for him since he came into his magic, and they’re friends, yeah, but this is... so much. he’s been to eddie’s place, knows he doesn’t have a lot of space, but he’s still offering to share it with steve, so easily it’s like it’s not even a question whether he’s welcome. steve can’t accept. ‘what about wayne?’
eddie just snorts. ‘dude, excepting, like, me being his nephew/adopted son whom he loves dearly, he likes you like. way better than me. you’re the little sports son he never had. frankly if he found out you’d been kicked out and i didn’t offer to give you a place to stay he’d probably kick me out. well, no he wouldn’t. but he would give me that ‘im not mad im just disappointed’ look and that sucks too.’
‘you’d do that?’ and steve hates how small his voice sounds right now. he’s had a day.
but eddie just looks at him with those big, gentle eyes of his. says ‘of course’ like there’s no other response he could give. so steve smiles. thanks him softly, and drives them to the munson trailer. neither of them mention the firefly-tears that fill the car like fairy lights strung from the ceiling.
and they get to the trailer. eddie offers steve his bed, and they argue good-naturedly about it until they both give up and settle in together, eddie petting steve’s hair as they cuddle in a way that’s probably not all that platonic, but neither of them seem to care. it’s nice. soft.
it’s ruined a bit when eddie sits bolt upright with a ‘shit! my van’s still in loch nora!’ but the way they both laugh so hard they can’t breathe is nice too.
steve’s only been here for a few hours, and he’s already never felt more at home.
and here’s the tags! this is literally the first time anyone has asked me to tag them for more, thank you for making me feel like a celebrity lol
@fairytalesreality @swimmingbirdrunningrock
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Semifinals, Poll 2
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Propaganda under the cut
GLaDOS
I mean, obviously.
Ianthe Tridentarius
She is trying so hard to be the main character by lying and manipulating her sister, her cavalier, her mentor, her ?love interests? (Spoiler???) And also god. Not sure how it's working out for her but she does love to lie and manipulate
Worstie Ianthe is the DEFINITION of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss. She is one of a set of necromancer twins that are the heirs to their houses rule. Except wait, only she is a necromancer and she has spent their entire lives doing necromancy for the both of them. She is constantly mean to their cavalier, Naberius, who she occasionally nibbles on like a chew toy, before eventually killing and eating him to ascend to sainthood. She goes to gods spaceship with another woman who ascended to sainthood who she has a crush on, this other woman is like…. Both incredibly mentally unwell and also haunted by at least 211 ghosts. Ianthes method of flirting with her? Gaslighting her about the corpse that keeps moving around and hiding under her bed. For no real reason tbh. She is clearly plotting to overthrow god, and at the moment that consists of her manipulating him while he’s too sad about his long term partners betraying him and subsequently exploding to really care. She dresses in terrible outfits and makes soup by burning onions to the bottom of a pot, putting meat in and some vegetables and then it doesn’t taste like anything so she puts in a few teaspoons of salt so it tastes like a few teaspoons of salt. She had her crush amputate her arm and regrow her a new one out of bone and it’s one of the horniest things I’ve read in my life.
"Gaslight = told her lobotomized (she helped), schizophrenic girlobsession that there was no corpse under their bed, even tho there totally was. Gatekeep = girl did NOT share the secret to god-like ascension. She kept that shit to herself until it was time to eat her boytoy, and by then everyone knew already. Girlboss = she has a non-necromancer twin sister, and literally Everyone thinks they r both necromancers because Ianthe is so good at it. She reverse engineered ascending to the aforementioned ascension without even completing any of the supplementary tasks. She held her own in a fight against a 10k year old lyctor. She becomes the figurehead of her entire empire. "
She uses a man as a chewtoy in the first book, literally gaslights the protagonist of the second book about a corpse, and elder-abuses God when he gets depressed in the third book. Nobody is doing it like her.
Dives headfirst with no regrets while basically laughing and covered in blood into murdering her cavalier once she realizes what the gothic locked room mystery/competition leads to while everyone else is questioning it, helps perform lobotomy on harrow so she doesn't remember the person she loves, manipulates everyone to get to the top
idk just everything about her
her relationship with her sister is incredibly Bad, she fosters codependency and views Corona(the sister) as an extension of herself. This does not stop her from keeping up the con that Corona actually has magic (She doesn't, it was always just Ianthe) for 22ish years and every single person who interacts with them falls for it. She killed a man against his will (most dying for this purpose specifically go willingly) and she consumed him and she will be burning his soul for eternity. She's completely repulsive and still somehow incredibly hot.
she takes advantage of the fact that the main character is prone to hallucinations. at one point she gaslights the mc into believing that the corpse under her bed isn't real just because she can. she reverse engineered a set of very complex trials on her own without anyone realizing she had the skills to complete them normally. she's also babysat god through his drunk and pathetic era.
Artist: olivecow (deviantart)
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Text
Needy!Deuce Headcanons
Deuce Spade being needy is literally everything:
Masterlist
Warning: I write the reader as female
Never going a second without having your hand in his, whether you’re walking side by side or sitting beside each other in class, meal times and unbirthday parties.
You two would always be touching each other: cuddling, him resting his head on your shoulder, engulfing himself in your scent.
When he’s back in Heartslabyul, he’d stay up texting you even though he only just dropped you off at Ramshackle five minutes ago. When you point this out during a phone call, he’d pout and say that he misses your voice.
He loves you so much that he can still see your smile even when he closes his eyes.
He always keeps a protective arm around your waist, half so that he could shield you from any possible danger and half so that he can sate that need to have you as close to him as possible.
He’s never more than three feet away from you at any time.
He is literally: This is Y/N, Y/N loves her personal space. This is Deuce, Deuce also loves Y/N’s personal space
Just to be clear, he will always respect your boundaries. If you want space or alone time by yourself or don’t want to be touched or held - he’ll do whatever you want no question.
LIVES FOR PDA! If you’re not into it then he understands but if you are then hell yeah, go for it. For the first week of you dating, he was shy because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but after you have that ✨ healthy communication that we all love ✨ he’ll be living on cloud nine for the rest of his life: secretive pecks in the corners and shadows of the hallways, good luck kisses before a test, long drawn out hugs when he has to leave for Track and Field Club when he gives you a wide-eyed teary look of a soldier being stripped from his home and to go to war and not of a teenage boy just leaving your side for about an hour…
He doesn’t even react when Ace gags and demands that the two of you get a room because 1) he’s just jealous and 2) why would he want to move his head from your shoulder whilst you’re still petting it?
He loves giving you piggyback rides during your dates
His favourite thing to do with you is going on his Magical Wheel because he lives for that feeling of your head resting against his shoulder blades as your torso presses against his back and your arms are wrapped around his waist.
Have fun trying to get out of his hold during cuddle sessions. If his overpowering strength isn’t enough to keep you there then his pleading puppy eyes and sweet little whines begging you to not leave will.
But imagine Deuce getting kiss drunk: eyes glazed and half lidded, body moving out of his control as he wants more and more
It would start off soft and sweet. The two of you would be snuggling in your bedroom in Ramshackle, a calm and quiet reprieve from the hecticness of daily life. 
And you’d spontaneously have the excellent idea of kissing him so you do exactly that.
Cupping his face, you’d pull him towards you with and press your lips against his, letting them linger for a few seconds as your thumb strokes patterns onto his cheek, before pulling away, laughing internally at how his face immediately chases yours.
“More,” Deuce murmured, cheeks a rosy pink and pupils blown wide, looking at you so preciously, so captivated by your presence that you had no choice but to indulge him. So you draw him in again, physically feeling him melt into you, letting your mouths press against each other until your reeling head forces you not to.
Once you had parted for air yet again, he fisted the fabric of your blouse and brought you in for a third time, drinking in your yelp of surprise like a man starved. One of his arms wrap around you, bringing you so close to him it’s hard to tell where you stopped and he started. He could feel himself getting bolder, more confident, as adrenaline mixed into his ex-delinquent blood. The triumph he used to feel winning a fight is absolutely nothing to the pure euphoric exhilaration that fills every vessel, that rushes past his ears so loudly that he can’t hear anything else, his brain turns to mush and all he can think about is the complete and utter devotion he feels for you. His life, his love, his light, his salvation.
He couldn’t stop kissing you - it’s an endless vicious cycle; the more he fed that need to have you the hungrier and hungrier it became. When his treacherous lungs start to scream for oxygen he only allows you a second of reprieve before he dives back in and, with both hands on either side of your face, he begins kissing every inch of skin he can find - your cheeks, the tip of your nose, your forehead - all in a flurry of quick succession.
You drive him insane. All thoughts of reform, of becoming a good little honours student that keeps his nose clean and head down, turn to ash as he feels that already unstable fiddly little delinquent switch teetering dangerously inside him. He makes himself at home on the curve of your neck, trailing kisses down that smooth slope. He interlocks his fingers with yours and feels rejuvenated when your hand squeezes his.
Usually, he’d never let himself lose control in such a way, finding that intense, savage side too shameful, too deplorable to let out - especially to someone so ethereal, so perfect it’s no wonder they’re otherworldly. But here - hidden away in the privacy of your bedroom, the old, weary walls of Ramshackle stationed around you like guards, concealing the both of you from the prying eyes of daily life - he with you in his arms, he felt invincible. He could do anything, be anything. He could let out those secret sides of himself without a care or worry because he knows that you’ll be there to hold him. You’re always there to give even when he’s scared to take.
Even now, you lift his hand and place a gentle kiss on his wrist, all whilst looking him in the eye and giving him such a loving smile he feels his breath hitch.
And when he gathers you into his arms, hugging you close, he knows that he could be with you for eternity and it still wouldn’t be enough
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shankschewtoy · 1 year
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a/n - @countingsheepboi had the idea and now I’m gonna do a part two bec these are funny >:)
Warnings ⚠️ - chaotic g/n reader, crack-ish
Opposites attract p2
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- he’s never wanted to cry from stress until now
- he could be just talking to one of his siblings for one second, and when he turns around, you’re gone
- you enjoy messing with him by hanging onto his back so he can never find you until he either uses haki or you scare the absolute shit out of him
- will go to brulee for advice
- he’s the only thing keeping you alive, and you’re singlehandedly shortening his lifespan
- “KURI! Look at this cute mushroom! It’s so small-!” You said, poking the spotted little plant
- it was so squishy and adorable that you decided to stick the whole thing in your mouth to see if it tasted good
- tasted like shit mixed with tree sap
- you choked on it lmao 😭
- “Y/n did you swallow it??”
- whats the ginormous mochi man wearing platform boots with spurs gonna do-?! (as you can see I love his boots a lot lmao)
- he doesn’t want to hurt you but he also doesn’t want you to keep choking so he’s trying to pat your back with two of his fingers gently
- it still hurt
- he swore he could’ve fainted at some point from anxiety
- you’ve unfortunately introduced him to panic attacks
- cannot sleep without knowing you’re in bed, ok, not eating poisonous things, and that you’re not hurt
- yes he’s stressed now, but you’re the only thing that makes him happy
- and so fucking stressed at the same time
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- joins therapy with smoker
- he’s already stressed, and now he’s more stressed
- requires screaming into a pillow every once in a while to blow off some steam
- will make bepo or shachi or even Penguin watch over you
- almost every time you manage to magically disappear
- “CAPTAIN Y/N’S GONE-!”
- the amount of energy and effort it’s taking him not to scream is amazing
- he needs to get you a rope for you to hold onto like a kindergartner lmao
- before he even gets to say a word about his plan you’re already beating people’s asses with no second thoughts
- a little part of him becomes more depressed every single time you rush on ahead
- spends all his time on these plans 😭
- inside he secretly appreciates it when you bring over a marine that’s been beaten up by you with a smile
- makes him happy :)
- you’re so thoughtful and he loves that 🙃
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- he’s clumsy enough already 💀
- he ends up setting you on fire as well sometimes
- nooo but his devilfruit with your abilities is so overpowered 😭
- no sound is made when you literally rush in and beat every single person up inside the room while Corazon throws a grenade inside when you’re done
- y’all have the epic moment of walking away from the explosion
- and then his coat catches on fire
- will be by your side whenever you need
- you’re the one who’s dragging him along by his coat into danger because he can’t run a single minute without falling
- imagine seeing a 9’7 man getting dragged by someone half his size 💀
- doffy will always be confused as to how you two got together
- 10 year old law is even more stressed now
- poor kid is surrounded by clumsy reckless people lol
- Cora is the type of guy who would run into danger without thinking just because you were right next to him :)
- he didn’t know wtf to do when you ate something poisonous
- “Y/N-! OH GOD- UH- CAN YOU THROW UP?! LAW WHAT DO I DO-?!”
- he is freaking out
- started sobbing thinking you were gonna die, “Y/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH-“
- “CORA-SAN Y/N’S FINE SHUT UP!”
- he’s now crying out of happiness while suffocating law in a hug
- I think he sobbed for a solid hour straight into poor law’s ears
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a/n - poor katakuri :’)
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