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itafushin · 1 year

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Do you have headcanons about macaque's recovering process from bpd and his copying skills (like about holding back extreme emotions or apathy, how does he regularly motivates himself to keep healing and so on)?

thats honestly a really good question...strap in, its a long one

macaque is definitely prone to bad spirals and bad episodes, as evident in the show, and he tends to internalize a lot of it and lash out in aggression. because of that i feel like starting the healing process was really hard for him. with lbd off his back and a lot more free time, im sure he thought alot about the things he did in the last few centuries. he probably stayed holed up in his dojo for a good while after the lbd stuff and just...thought. all that thinking led to spirals and breakdowns and he spent that time crying more than hes ever cried in his life. but afterwards i think he felt fine, stagnant even, and thats when he finally decided he could move on.

its hard giving up your fp and if hes anything like me im sure he didnt want to let go. he didnt want to break off those ties he had with wukong because those were familiar, safe. he fell back onto bad habits a lot, (i headcanon that he has s/h stims and he pulls on his fur when hes really stressed which adds to his bald spots), and found himself in spots where he felt the urge to go and fight wukong again, like before. during times like these his shadows are actually really helpful ! they help ground him and im sure rumble and savage help talk him through his breakdowns when theyre alone together. they help drive him to keep going, i think, because they know as well as he does that he needs this.

i think mk is another big motivator for macaque too, if not the biggest. he cares about mk so much, way more than he was ever expecting to, and i think he does hold some guilt and remorse about the way he treated mk. he wants to repair their relationship and actually become friends in the genuine way that mks friends with everyone else. and mac knows he cant get that if hes still holding onto the past, ya know. he wants to be someone mk could go to when wukong isn't available (he makes that...very very clear its honestly a little endearing) so i think he always thinks about mk while hes going through the process of healing.

and honestly, repairing his friendship with wukong could be something of a motivator too. he wants them to have something thats normal, im assuming, and maybe thats why he hangs around ffm still. but its also a little bit of a bittersweet memory of sorts, to see everything still as it was. to see bits of him still there.

with the holding back extreme emotions, macaque is the type to bottle everything up util he explodes. which isnt...healthy AJVKSKCJ i think overtime and mk exposure showed him its okay to feel those things...its okay to cry and to be upset and to just. be a person...obviously he only ever lets himself feel those things in the privacy of his dojo but hey, at least its something !

he does have set backs, as everyone does because healing isnt linear, and he still has days where its almost like hes back to being that hard-headed smartass trying to kill everyone...but i think now its a bit easier to deal with those days because he has a support system. he has people to rely on that wont shun him away, even if things are rocky between them all. but hes trying and he'll keep trying because as much as he lets it on, i dont think he actually enjoys being alone as much.

#🏮#shadow talks #I HOPE THIS ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION ANON #alot of my headcanons and thoughts about bpd macaque are big big projections so if you squint reeeeeeally hard #youll figure out how /i/ deal with my bpd #its hard on macaque i think. to deal with this #its a lot of baggage to carry but hes getting there #its all in the baby steps #i dont think he cut off his fp relationship with wukong until the very end actually...i think he works on finding himself first #because cutting that kind of relationship even if in order to replace it with something else is so so hard and so so soul crushing #i think macaque wanted to keep wukong as close as possible even if it was one sided just in case he didnt like who he found in place #of himself #lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk macaque #lmk mk #lmk wukong #the six eared macaque

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kirbyofthestars · 4 months

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ok um look at the images at the bottom first because this is an ask and i cant put them first HELP. just screenshotted the wiki since i dont feel like getting them from the game itself even if i have the costume . head in hands okay

so . for context langue de chat is a Very ambitious overachieving lawyer who takes great pride in themself but also crumbles easily under any sort of pressure or stress. This costume makes me want to gnaw on something because GOD DAMN does this tell us a lot like THEYRE A FUCKING WORKAHOLIC. BY DEFINITION. They cannot fathom NOT working for three seconds while theyre on vacation. they usually speak in a very professional and confident manner but they use so many elipsies(or however you spell it the three dots) here Girl their ass does NOT know how to relax!!! "Ah! I got sugar water on the files!" THEIR ASS IS NOT RELAXING STOP WORKING LITTLE SHIT YOURE ON VACATION!!!!!

also in the last image i included thats their costume banner, you can see them playing in the water with their parents which is actually adorable but i think its safe to assume their parents planned this vacation for them and they literally just. Dont know what to do with themself. So used to working 24/7 whether it was in school or lawyering and they dont know what to dooo GAUGDJJ girl youre so fucked up

(also the left side of the photo is cappuccinos banner which is another piece of one full photo which i think is ADORABLE i fucking love that detail)

and then you can see by their lines they actually start to adjust to everything and they learn to relax and have fun and end up Really really liking it and i absolutely love that for them yes girl have fun!!! its not really mentioned or implied in the costume itself but i like to think that theyre carrying around the sodas to feel useful. Like they hate not feeling productive and their parents never asked them to but theyre carrying it around awkwardly because they want to feel like theyre doing something good

this isnt from their costume its from a cutscene from the update a few months ago but theres a scene from this one camping update where they say they remember camping with their family as a kid and that they studied in the tent the whole time GIRL!!!! they were STUDYING while camping and they say it all proudly like they see nothing wrong with it like its a completely normal and reasonable thing to do Their ass is NOT relaxing!!!

ok sorry this ended up longer than expected um. if you dont want to read/respond to this thats fine HVSJF /gen i just really love this stupid goober. Kills them affectionately

sorry for the late reply ive been super busy with school but THIS IS ADORABLE OH MY GOODNESS???? thank u for educating me abt blorbo i feel wiser now. they look so so happy playing in the water im glad she gets a nice vacation :]

#letterbox #no-california-all-adventure #crob #i should start playing again >:3

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eclysia · 1 year

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Rosette, bouquet and fallen leaf?

OUGh thank you so much :pleading_face:

um this is a long post so its going under the cut

🏵️ [ROSETTE] What flower symbolises your OC best and why? What does the flower mean in floriography?

oh man, flower symbolism. im not too well versed in this, but let me see!

a wilted/dead lily fits well for mido; after the events of hiyoshi, being dragged back from the dead and coerced to carry the traumas of several different people took a toll on him. a lily symbolizes purity and innocence after death, but midos case is the complete opposite.

he is not an empty shell like the rest of the interceptors' bodies-- and he cannot take the burdens given to him well at all.

due to his role within the third layer, poppies suit aevis the most. sacrifices had to be made for the greater good- to cheat death and overcome humanitys greatest flaw.

proteas also work quite well for recent developments, as he is beginning to overcome his status as a clone/black box and is stopping trying to take the identity of the true, dead aevis. he is learning to change and embrace individuality!

after being freed from their time loop, xerophyllum suit avan well, symbolizing rebirth and new beginnings. theyre stuck in this world now, so they have to learn to like it... (i also like the pure white of the flower; matches their pokemon who all lost their color)

💐 [BOUQUET] If you could send your OC a bouquet, what flowers would make it up and what is the overall message?

i would get one of the grevilleas to do it instead because i am really bad with flowers HGFDLKASJFV

i suppose i would make color themed bouquets for all three of them matching the flowers i listed prior? but overall messages.. from me, as the creator? ...get your shit together, all of you. no okay wait

mido- open up to your friends please aevis- you are your own person, stop adhering to the orders given to you avan- there is something worth fighting for

🍃 [FALLEN LEAF] What's the darkest period of time your OC has been through?

OUGH.

mido is quite obvious with hiyoshis events. storm-9 as a whole rendered himself and many people he loved dead, and he was too shaken to say no to the preposition of using his body as a host. it was only instinct that allowed him to grow defiant and disrupt the process, but this helped no one.

aevis says that nothing sour has happened in his existence (he is lying). he overlooked many third layer test subjects and has seen a lot of people die- he himself has even tested the means like artillery. considering he is a black box, he can just regenerate even if bullets render his body torn apart, so long as his core is safe. so its completely fine and morally correct to use him.. isnt it?

avan tries to brush it off too, but the catalyst of their whole deal- the unearthly swap of every species of pokemon to a different one, and everyone acting like everything was still normal- they felt insane. to top it all off, code: evo had turned out to be a lunala in xens hands, and one fight later, the rifts instability had rendered their world gone.

..why did they come back? they really shouldnt have, and no matter how hard they try, they cannot die.. until now, at least.

theyre still hesitating.

#oc tag: mido #oc tag: aevis #oc tag: avan #THANK YOU BY THE WAY.#AND YOU HAVE A NAME REVEAL #godsh i am so embarrassed always.. not even a Name alas #v13 spoilers #this post is FUCKING LONG BY THE WAY!! I TALK A LOT

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honeybeeadventures · 2 years

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i feel crushed under the weight of my own emotions and i don’t even know where they came from. i feel like i’m being suffocated so bad. my throat feels like it’s closing and my chest feels like it’s caving in and i don’t understand because i was perfectly fine two hours ago? i felt totally normal and then i just suddenly burst into tears.

is it some sort of pseudo-punishment for having spent the entirety of the pandemic denying that i had emotions? i live a pretty full life online without going outside and now, because of what happened last month, because this month is almost over. because i’ll be turning 24 just shy of two months from now, i feel like all of the weight of everything i’ve denied feels so heavy. i ignored all the bad things that happened up until now and now i’m sitting here like i can’t believe this is happening. i can’t believe this has happened. i can’t believe the time i’ve lost. i don’t even know the person that i was a year ago. i can’t even relate to her. i can’t even be sure that she existed and it all just feels so so so so so so heavy. i can feel myself being dragged to the earth’s core by the gravity of the situation but i can’t let it happen because i have to sit here at work and just pretend that i’m okay. pretend that i can speak to people and be personable, but i can’t.

i literally feel like i’m dying. i feel like little bits of me are slipping away and when i get up to chase them, i fall and lose more pieces and it’s an endless cycle and somehow, i don’t run out of pieces. somehow theyre always being pulled from somewhere. they’re always being yanked and torn apart and ripped up and tossed aside and i’m sitting here typing this with tears in my eyes while the lady from the pet rescue has me on hold as she’s looking for a sequence of numbers to solve a problem that will take months to straighten out and i’m holding my breath but i’m also deep breathing and my brain feels empty but so full that it will explode into a billion of those little pieces that i mentioned and idk who i am but i know exactly and it’s all happening at the same time.

and i hate it. and i hate me. and i feel like i’m sinking back into that dark place that i go every few years. the place where i cut everyone off and i lose myself and i pretend i never existed and i don’t exist now and i’m real but not really real and everyone who sees me is imagining things. it’s all one big grand psychotic hallucination that i’ve dragged them all down on together. i’m just not sure...what to do...i’m not sure i’ve earned the right to existence. i’m not sure why anyone would want to be around me. i’m not sure why anyone would want to stay. i’m not sure why the people who left me did leave. i’m not sure why i wasn’t enough for him. i’m not sure when i’ll be enough for anyone. i’m not sure why my body feels too big for my soul. i’m not sure. i’m not sure of any of it. i’m so unsure that it burns to think about it. maybe she’s right, right? friends, happiness, a safe space. i haven’t earned any of it. i haven’t suffered enough to be sure that i’ll not take it for granted or throw it away. i don’t know the value of those things because i’ve never really had them. how can i tell you the value of a diamond that i can’t hold in my hand without getting badly burned?

#personal #ramble #this was so kim namjoon of me

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s3plan · 2 years

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i think i talked abt this exact thing like last week lol but im in like. such a weird loop mentally where i “miss” the period during february/march/april when i felt my mind slipping away and being constantly scared of my surroundings, friends and family, myself, everything. and i don’t know why i feel like miss it, because i know that i wanted nothing more than to feel normal and safe again, blissfully unaware of the things i thought i knew. i mean, i say it now as if im fully “sane” and able to confidently call those things “delusions”. im not and i cant, i cant deny the System or the things i was put through, and i cant deny the fact that they might still have control over me. Clearly they still have control over me, getting me to harm myself through coded messages and shit like that. ugh fuck whenever i think too long abt this kinda stuff my thoughts tend to float away bc i realize that. maybe i realize stuff im not supposed to. maybe theyre keeping me from putting things into words so i can be isolated, like at the start. maybe its all a circle, looping, a snake eating its own tail, that symbolism i love so much. maybe its that fucking brain implant filtering everything everything everything every thought i have everything i wish to communicate, getting filtered out and watered down and comes out sounding all stupid so no one can take me seriously notevenmyself notevenyou Maybe. this was timed. im scared. i dont know who im talking to. this isnt getting through to anyone who cares. not in time. im fine . fuck my brain is blank idk what i was trying to say this time.(?) this is getting too long imight keep writing idk i hope no one reads this istg no one worry abt me okay maybe ill delete thsi later

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dioko · 3 years

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RADICAL DRUNKS. | MHA MEN

how the guys are when theyre drunk lol idk

Characters — Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Shinso

Content — x gn! reader pairing, aged up headcanons, mentions of alcohol, drinking, literally iss just fluff/crack

A/N — I thought these panels of the boys were super cute -- enjoy!!

BAKUGOU KATSUKI.

— i would like to first say he boasts a lot about being able to hold his liquor

— i mean... he's eh, he's okay, can fake being sober for about half an hour

— then the alcohol HITS

— have you seen the way he is when he's calm

— that, now 1000x

— my guy is having an identity crisis in the middle of a party

— "'Tsuki? Katsuki, you okay?" Gently as possible, you shake his shoulder, but he doesn't feel it because drunk ignores it.

"Ngh," he groans back at you.

— Soulless eyes LMAO staring into absolutely nothing

— gets super touchy, but in a subtle way

— he just pokes your hand/plays with your hair

— I'm sorry he throws up real bad all the time, no matter how much he's drunk that night

— will remember pieces of his unsoberness the next day

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU.

— LOUD

— holy smokes, you didn't think he could get anymore riot-y

— jus imagine 7-foot-tall Red Riot losing it over a game of MarioKart PLSS

— keeps his quirk activated for absurdly long times for no reason at all

— if you try to touch him though, he'll immediately deactivate wherever you're trying to reach (ie. his shoulder) so he doesn't hurt you accidentally

— tells a lot of stories

— i don't know if it's this image in particular of him, but i get radical drunk party uncle vibes from him

— cries

— soooo cheesy

— "Ahh, baby," he grins cheekily, "you're so beautiful!"

"Thank you, Eiji. You're drunk, let's go."

"Yeah, just gimme a sec," he stops moving.

"What?"

"Wanna admire your face. M'so lucky to have ya," he slurs.

— it gives you butterflies hehe

— remembers everything that happened

— aware of drunkenness but not in full control of it

KAMINARI DENKI.

— the sad, philosophical drunk

— no like seriously, he says some thought-provoking things and talks too much about growing facial hair to actually look 27

— SMART DRUNK

— but then theres a shift and he starts crying sldmdkksks

— makes himself sad and gets super paranoid

— "Nononono, y/n, stay right here," he gestures to his side.

— forgive him, he just wants to keep you safe from the ever-intimidating fork on your table

— he WILL bring up his pet dog from when he was 11 and how it went to a farm 🙂

— but don't worry, he's adorable

— lots of compliments, and he doesn't really expect you to say anything back UNLESS he's saying 'i love you'

— "Y/n, y/n, y/n, y-"

"Denki, what?" You laughed.

"I loooveee you," he slurs, "now say it back."

"Say what back?" You toy with him.

He frowns, "say 'i love you, too'."

"But you already know I do!"

SERO HANTA.

— sober drunk don't even try to fight me on this

— the way Sero can hold his liquor- my god

— he can maintain steady conversations and you would never know he was drunk, except for the slight wobble in his steps

— he also stops filtering what he says and becomes weirdly honest

— the downside is he barely remembers what happens the next day

— "Hey, y/n!" He skips into your apartment like nothing; it's these days at 2 in the morning that you forget why you bothered to give him a set of keys.

"Sero - it's past midnight!"

"Yeah," he rolls his eyes, "why are you still awake?"

"I could ask you the same thing!"

He actually sits and talks to you for a really long time before he finally slips up and-

"Wait - Hanta, are you drunk?"

"What, you'd think I'd randomly drop into your house in the dead of night on a normal day?"

"Well, I mean - you're you!"

He thinks about it, "touché."

SHINSO HITOSHI.

— creepy quiet. like you think he's quiet normally? get ready suckers

— a man of many actions - becomes a lot more expressive when he's drunk

— scratches the dilf™️ stubble out of drunken habit

— it's so funny wtf

— HE DOESNT REMEMBER ANYTHING THE NEXT DAY

— lowkey he gets possessive

— "Yeah! So, then I tried going to-" you stop abruptly, feeling something warm squeeze your arm. "-'toshi? What're you doing?"

Without a word, he tries to pull you away from your friend.

"Wait, wait - sorry!" You shrug at them and follow the purple haired man, "Hitoshi, what are you doing?"

"Come."

— he doesn't know where he's going either lmao

— tells you to talk, he wants to converse but at the moment he's physically incapable of saying more than a couple sentences

— WILL answer any questions you ask him [get those secrets 😩/j]

— "So, did you pull me away because you were jealous, Hitoshi?"

He purses his lips. "Mhm... can't say."

"Yes you can! I'm trustworthy," you nod knowingly.

"Fine."

"So?" You urge.

"I... I..." he falls asleep. Passes out, whatever ya wanna call it.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x reader #denki kaminari #denki x reader #hanta sero #sero x reader #shinso hitoshi #shinso x reader #🛒 ; main aisles

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plounce · 3 years

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what if gay CATS........... were gay PERSONS

(info on this au under the cut)

theyre all shitty young adults just kind of. getting through their early 20s as best they can. or as much as they can. maybe things will get better someday, but right now they’re kind of spinning their wheels

magic exists but like eh it’s not a big thing don’t worry about it. it’s around but like whatever. not many people have it and it’s mostly just like. a curiosity or a party trick

demeter and bombularina are together, tugger and mistoffelees are together, bombularina and tugger occasionally fwb, it’s cool and aboveboard and it’s all fine

demeter:

bisexual with a preference for women. 24 years old

semi-psychic (not as powerful as tantomile or coricopat). tends to have vague and confusing prophetic dreams

dropped out of grad school for sociology due to trauma and ensuing intensified mental illness. kind of bitter about it, but tries to get through every day. general anxiety disorder even before all that

very nervous around most men she doesn’t know & trust

currently working at a barnes & noble starbucks, which sucks. she recently became the assistant manager, which turbo sucks because now she has more work for only like a buck raise, but at least she’s getting reliable shifts

her go-to therapy is cutting her hair with scissors. her hair is fried to all hell from regular bleaching

she’s learning how to crochet because she’s decided she needs to do something physically productively creative with her hands to distract herself from Stuff

bombalurina:

bisexual. 24 years old

got her bachelor’s in english two years ago and hasn’t found a job in her field and has kind of given up on it for now

she’s been bartending for like four years, does freelance editing work on the side. will occasionally write listicles for clickbait sites if she needs extra cash

literally any extra money she can save goes to tattoos. her right sleeve’s almost done

has natural red hair but dyes it cherry red

a hedonist to cope but is also just a natural hedonist. likes a good bath

i know that like the typical thing fandoms say about female characters is “doesn’t take shit” for the girlboss points but she truly does not take shit anymore. she used to take people’s shit sometimes but at this point in her life she’s tired and she has a girlfriend to be protective of. she has a couple people whose shit she will take (mostly just tugger) but besides them (and having to practice basic customer service to keep her job) she’s tired of other people’s shit! enough!

my personal take on bombalurina is a mix between the riot grrrls of the 90s and 80s punk girls, and then a dash of the greaser chicks from grease. i saw that spiked collar and my brain went OH okay i can run with this somewhere fun. same for demeter, but less so - she just has the piercings.

demelurina:

bombalurina met demeter in college at a women’s activism club, noticed her because of her dimple piercings and was like “oh someone else with a lot of metal in her face, i’ll sit next to her”

they were each other’s first off-campus roommates and were close friends. made out a couple times, but it was mostly a lot of sexual tension. there was a lot of bombalurina staring at demeter while she or demeter made out with someone else

demeter was on and off with her high school boyfriend munkustrap and bombalurina was like “oh he’s so much more stable/calm than me and she needs that, i party a bit too much for her, i shouldn’t try anything” so she just sort of. lets their almost-there peter off

(this is all bombalurina’s internal thoughts - demeter always was interested in her, but thought she was too boring for bombalurina. so neither of them thought they could pursue it)

bombalurina graduated and moved somewhere cheaper further away from campus. they kind of drift apart

munkustrap and demeter peter off and he moves away for a job (they’re still good friends, it was a very amicable breakup) and then demeter gets with macavity, which is a deeply toxic situation for her and sucks hugely and throws her whole life really off track. won’t go into further details

she finally manages to break up with him and calls bombalurina at like 2 am asking if she can pick her up, and also if she can sleep on her couch, it’s okay if that’s not okay, she just. really needs a place she feels safe, and her gut is telling her to. and of course bombalurina says yes

bombalurina also knew macavity and had also made out a couple times with him at like parties and stuff (see: staring at demeter as she makes out with people). something about transference of feelings - bombalurina was into him for a couple moments because he and demeter had a thing.

this is due to me interpreting the song “macavity” as actually about bombalurina wanting to fuck demeter and her singing as a half-repressed expression of that. i use my really good wlw brain to reach that conclusion. it’s kind of a non-competitive version of eve sedgwick’s take on the love triangle. (<-- normal thing to say)

but anyway demeter stays on bombalurina’s couch and she tries so hard to stay on track but eventually she just has to drop out. bombalurina helps her with that too. she’s just really supportive even as demeter’s life is at its lowest point. when she gets home from bartending she gets demeter to go to sleep

she just Stays with her and makes her smile and reminds her that her life isn’t over, there’s still things in her day to enjoy, to keep her trudging forward

bombalurina is roommates with tugger at this point - he also recently dropped out and demeter knows him because he’s munkustrap’s brother, so he’s Trusted and also is like “hey it’s okay that you dropped out, im here and im chilling and you like me and respect me at least a little, and you have a bachelor’s degree at least!” (more on him later)

demeter is like “oh god ive been crashing at their place for so long not paying rent, theyre gonna ask me to leave, im such a freeloader, they wont take my attempts at paying rent” but then bombalurina and tugger are like “hey! the lease is almost up! we found a pretty good 3 bedroom, do you wanna have your own room for real?” and she nearly cries because 1. the RELIEF 2. oh my god you want me around???

cut to bombalurina helping demeter put together an ikea dresser (tugger got banished to the kitchen to make crystal light lemonade for them because he’s useless with a screwdriver) and demeter has two epiphanies:

1. i thought i was ready to d*e four months ago and here i am making a dresser to put clothes into in my new apartment where i live and feel safe and loved. im still not happy but im still alive and im making a dresser

2. holy fuck im back in love with my best friend, and ten times more than i was back then.

so she like kind of freaks out because she’s already imposed so much on bombalurina, how could she impose her FEELINGS on her like this, oh no oh no oh no

meanwhile bombalurina’s back in love with her even MORE and she’s also like no... she’s already dealing with so much... i don’t want to make her uncomfortable or feel unsafe in her own home especially after her recent relationship trauma... i just want her to feel safe around me...

you might think tugger as their roommate would be like “JUST KISS” but he is in fact pretty oblivious because he is self-absorbed. mistoffelees on the other hand..

eventually they do have a big confession of feelings after demeter has a bad day and it’s very dramatic and they make out in the rain. and it’s like. well this is a movie scene. but also im cold and damp. let’s head inside our home and get warm and dry :)

and then they go inside and and talk through everything, all their feelings (not just their romantic feelings but like ALL their feelings) and their shared histories and bombalurina is like “do you think you’re... ready for a relationship right now? like that would be a good thing for you?”

and demeter considers it. she does stop and think. and then she says, “with anyone else... probably not. but it’s you. and i feel so safe around you, and we’re already so close. you make the future feel more worth it. you make more days alive feel not just tolerable, but something to look forward to. and knowing you’ve loved me all this time... it’s nice. it’s good. i’m - i’m understating it so much, it’s more than nice, it’s just - it’s a lot. i wish i had noticed back then.” “hey, hey, don’t blame yourself. i’m the one who never said anything.”

anyway. everything works out, and they start dating for real :)

tugger:

bisexual. 22 years old

dishwasher at the same bar bombalurina works at. she got him the job. he keeps bugging her to teach him bartending tricks and on slow nights she will agree to

he dropped out of their four year, but he managed to secure an associate’s in communications before he dipped

trying to be an ig influencer hotboy and hopefully get modeling jobs from that but his phone’s camera sucks shit so his account isn’t really going anywhere. but he continues to post his low resolution shirtless selfies

trying to cope with being the failure son who does not have a fancy nonprofit job with a salary and healthcare by being self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing

it works about 60% of the time and 60% of the times that it doesn’t he’s able to hide it

he dropped out right around when bombalurina graduated and he was like HEY! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE WHO DOESN’T CARE IF WE LIVE TEN MILES AWAY FROM CAMPUS? WELL HAVE I GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU: ME!

to which bombalurina (who has fooled around with him here and there and thinks he is funny little man and genuinely goodhearted, and also he has rockin abs as a plus) says munkustrap already asked me if i need a roommate and if i do to consider you, because you don’t want to move back home. in other words: yes, you little idiot

they do fool around with each other but they are both very understanding that it is strictly platonic and for fun, especially once they become roommates. they both do not desire each other for anything serious

he did have a bit of a crush on each other when they met (hot punk older girl who’s friends with his brother) but 1. it dissipated pretty quick after they fooled around for the first time because it was not a very serious crush 2. she was in the middle of being in love with demeter so she was focused on that, emotionally

he got his ears pierced a couple times in high school but bombalurina inspired him to get a couple more. she went with him when he got his nose pierced

demeter has always understood that him and bombalurina are strictly fwb, has never been an issue.

she and him like to bleach their hair together when their hair schedules line up (he bleaches his way less often then she does), but she refuses to use his fancy conditioner that keeps his hair unfried because it’s expensive, even though he tells her to go ahead and use it, please, the health of her hair is giving HIM anxiety, demeter please. please demeter

mistoffelees:

gay. 20 years old

has magic. it’s pretty good magic but again: magic is not a big deal in this concept

a bit spooky. skulks around. a bit of a bitch but also very very nice. chooses when to speak

he has postings on craigslist and fiverr about finding lost objects and people with magic. like a gig economy private detective

side job is a waiter at a fancy restaurant

sometimes he gets paid VERY well from the private detecting, depending on the client. he does ask his psychic friends (tantomile & coricopat) to give a quick glance over on some of the more suspicious clients just to make sure he isn’t finding someone who should not be found by that person.

doesn’t go to college. is roommates with his sister victoria, who’s a freshman and studying dance. moved into town with her so she wouldn’t have to live in the dorms by having a guaranteed roommate.

tuggoffelees:

the general vibe i want for these two is mistoffelees walking around town or driving around in his shitty toyota camry while tugger tags along because he’s bored and thinks this is cool as shit

the general tone of the au is “magic isn’t a big deal” except for tugger, who thinks mistoffelees’ magic and his magic freelancing is the coolest shit ever. this is mostly because he just likes mistoffelees. “there are people who can do cooler shit than me, tug” “yeah but i don’t KNOW them also theyre not as COOL as you” “you had to explain to me how instagram reels work”

idk how they met i just think tugger shows up at his and bombalurina’s apartment one day (this is when demeter has moved in but they havent moved to the 3br yet) with this dude to dash in and pick something up and bombalurina is like “uh. who’s this” “oh this is mistoffelees he’s SO GOOD AT MAGIC” [mistoffelees nods hello] “okay bye bombalurina see you at work!!!” “uh. later”

after that he just shows up a lot. sort of ambiguous if theyre dating or what for a while before bombalurina straight up asks like “hey does the dude you’re dating know we fool around” “the dude im - what?” “... the little magic guy who keeps using our hot cocoa mix. misty.” “oh. uh. we aren’t dating.” “... do you want to? because you’re kind of all over him constantly” “um. well! haha, if i wanted to, i could! haha!” “yeah get back to me on that”

tugger trying to use his ig clout to get mistoffelees more work even though 1. he has no clout 2. mistoffelees has a very stable client base. but mistoffelees appreciates the effort. the self-promo guy promoing someone other than himself... the highest expression of love...

mistoffelees is A Nonthreatening Man plus he’s pretty obviously gay so demeter is chill around him pretty quickly. when mistoffelees is over they’ll sit on the couch where demeter sleeps and watch documentaries quietly while she crochets

they both occasionally say spooky shit at the same time because magic stuff. bombalurina and tugger are both torn between “that was cool as fuck” and “god that’s unnerving”

just a lot of tugger following mistoffelees around on his jobs and mistoffelees letting him because he’s fond of him and them occasionally getting into minor peril and interesting shenanigans, but it is 90% fetch quests

i think the first time they met tugger was taking selfies in front of a hydrangea in a public park and he saw mistoffelees walk up with a shovel and start digging in one of the flower beds and he thought he was hot so he went over and offered to take over on the shoveling to look strong and masculine and he ended up digging up a skull, which mistoffelees picked up and said “thanks” and then walked away

mildly terrifying but also very interesting and tugger’s days are kind of boring and dishwashing kind of sucks as a job to do like every night and he is a person who thrives on novelty so. moth to a porchlight

i think they do start making out for fun here and there and then a while later theyre out on one of mistoffelees’ jobs and someone asks “who’s the guy with you” and mistoffelees replies “oh that’s my boyfriend, don’t worry about him” and then it’s like. “HUH? I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND?” “uh. yeah? i assumed. is that okay?” “i mean yeah of course i think you’re great! how long have we–” “oh like a while.” “oh. uh. cool!!”

they just hang out a lot. mistoffelees enjoys teasing him and enjoys his warmth and bombasticity and tugger likes watching and helping him solve little mysteries around the county because it’s always something new. they’re kind of a comedy duo. they just enjoy spending their time together and following mistoffelee’s internal magic gps to find lost dogs and lost necklaces

yeah right now this au is just vibes and just sort of. continuing forward with your days and your weeks and your months. just young adults hanging out

#cats the musical #mr mistoffelees #rum tum tugger #demeter cats #bombalurina #tuggoffelees #demelurina #chirps #bird in the hand

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marvelsimp · 3 years

Text

THE NEW KID: Leaving

Ch. 1

The New Kid Masterlist

-This is going to be a series so I’m going to do my best so that you may read it in any order. Also, I’m going to apologize in advance for my writing, any tips are appreciated.

Pairing: Peter x Lesbian!reader (Platonic duh)

Genre: ANGST, fluff

Warnings: Homophobia (being kicked out), mentions of death, vague mention of suicide, general angst, swearing (I swear fuck is like the only one I know smh)

Description: Reader gets kicked out by her homophobic parents, Peter invites her to stay with him, and reader reflects on her and Peter’s relationship.

-Takes place after far from home and Gamora, Vision, Loki, Heimdall, Nat, and Tony are still alive, Steve didn’t leave, and Mysterio didn’t reveal Peter as Spiderman. (aka my dream MCU)

Reader’s Powers: Healer, telepath, and empath.

Word Count: 2,350

“You can stay the night but, in the morning, you have to leave” You could feel it all, the disgust, the anger, the sadness. Every bit of what they were feeling was being thrown at you. You didn’t even get to tell them about your powers. You thought that maybe they would understand that maybe they would love you enough… but they didn’t. You were in shock; your parents were throwing you out because you like girls. You made your way back to your room to pack the essentials and figure out where you would go. Peter. He had told you before that if this happed or if you ever needed to you could stay with him.

(Y/n): Does the offer still stand

Peter: you told them?

(Y/n): yeah… theyre kicking me out

Peter: Im so sorry

You and Peter first met through Instagram almost a year ago. He posted some picture of him and Ned posing with a LEGO model of the Death Star. You decided you had nothing to lose so you messaged him. That was that easiest friend you had ever made, and he was the only friend you had now.

You got to know each other over the months, you would text and facetime, sometimes you would play Minecraft or Animal Crossing or whatever game you both had your hands on. You would talk for hours about Star Wars, video games, and even The Avengers. It was amazing. Then you told him.

“I’m gay”

He looked shocked at first, which scared you a little, then his shocked expression morphed into a grin.

“Now, I have someone else I can talk about girls to.”

You laughed tears forming in your eyes. You felt a huge weight come off your chest. He told you about MJ and how he planned to ask her out during the trip to Europe. You told him about your huge crush on Captain Marvel and it was perfect. You had someone who loved you for you and didn’t want anything more or less, someone you could tell everything to.

* * * * *

“Oh my god,” you thought to yourself as you put it altogether. You felt like you were going to faint or throw up or both.

Night monkey on tv had the same powers as spiderman, spiderman was from New York, and Peter was from New York… The late nights, the weird bruises, and cuts, injures; him suddenly having to leave out of nowhere. Every bit of it made sense. Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Your best friend is fucking Spider-Man.

At first you were shocked, then you were excited, then you were scared. You rushed to your phone to call him. You dialed his number and nothing... no answer. That’s when the panic started.

(Y/n): Are you okay?

There was no answer for minutes then hours. You were really panicking now, he usually texted back within ten minutes, but it was now six hours later.

(Y/n): I saw what happened are you ok

(Y/n): Pete youre scaring me please text me

You couldn’t sleep or eat or do anything, all you could think about was him. Is he alive? Is he injured? Did he lose his phone? These thoughts swirled in your head; you couldn’t breathe. Finally, fifteen hours later you heard a ding.

Peter: Im ok my phone died

(Y/n): Can you call me

Peter: Sorry Im getting on the plane to head home can I call you then?

(Y/n): yeah

Your panic calmed and you felt like you could breathe again but the fear and the anger were still there. You were furious not that he didn’t tell you, you couldn’t care less about that there were still plenty of things that you hadn’t told him yet. But you were furious at the universe, that your friend could die, that your friend could be taken away again. That you could lose that person that helped keep you stable, help keep you grounded. You couldn’t lose someone like that again, the last one almost killed you and losing Peter would destroy you.

Ten hours later he FaceTimed you.

“Hey, sorry about not answering. My phone died and all this stuff happened and- “

“Are you Spider-Man?”

“Wh-what?” He was shocked, another one of his friends figured it out. He couldn’t believe it.

“Are. You. Spider-Man.” You replied bluntly with your brows furrowed. You could barely keep the tears from flowing out.

He let out a sigh shaking his head, seeing no reason to lie so he nodded, “Yeah.”

“Are you okay?” you breathed out.

He looked up back at the screen confused, “Y-yeah I’m okay. I have a few scratches but nothing bad.”

“You could’ve died,” you grunted as your breath began to pick up.

“I’m okay Y/n. It’s ok,” he looked at you confused but mostly concerned because you were usually level. You tried your best to hide your negative emotions from others, so he only ever saw you smiling.

“NO! No, it’s not okay! You could’ve died. I could’ve lost you; I could’ve lost my best friend AGAIN. Two best friends in two years. I barely survived when she… I-I don’t even know what would happen if I lost you, too!” You were crying, you didn’t even notice, you didn’t even care.

He froze, not knowing what to say not knowing what to do. He just looked at you. He didn’t know that you never talked about your friends, he assumed you had them. He just thought you would open up when you were ready, but he never predicted this.

“Y/n, I-I’m okay. I’m alive and I am safe. I promise you that- that I’m going to be okay.” He just stared at the screen again. “Do you… want to talk about her.”

“You would’ve liked her,” you smiled while the tears were still streaming down your face. “Ava was the most stubborn person on the planet. She was kind… and talented… she was so smart… she wanted to go and help animals that are going extinct. She was my everything... and then she… she was gone.” You sobbed uncontrollably, not even stopping to breathe.

You’d never cried for her before, when you had found out it destroyed you. You were numb to everything, but you hid it with a smile always saying you were fine. Then you met Peter, he saved you and he didn’t even know it. He helped you feel ok again. He helped you feel alive again instead of a walking corpse.

“Y/n, you need to breathe.” You heard through the phone that was now lying on the bed as you continued to sob. “Please, just breathe.”

All that he wanted to do was hold you and comfort you, he knew what it felt like to lose someone. He knew that pain and wanted to help you but all he could do was talk and listen so that’s what he did.

You collected yourself, it took a while, but you did it. “I’m breathing,” you said letting out a slight chuckle.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked with worried eyes.

“Will you- could you just stay with me, till I fall asleep?”

“Of course.”

You called him the next day asking about Spider-Man. You asked how his powers worked, how long he had them, how his web shooters worked and how he made them, you even asked if the Start Internship was really just¬¬¬ him being Spider-Man. He answered every question you had and then some.

“Um, I have something to confess,” you said nervously, “I have…powers, too.”

‘WHAT,” he screamed from excitement while jumping out of his chair. “You have powers, too,” he said with wide eyes and a huge grin.

You went on to explain your powers of telepathy, healing, and empathy. You told him as much as you knew about them and how you didn’t know their limits yet. He just listened and grinned at every word you said.

“Can I tell Mr. Stark about you powers?”

“What?!?!”

“I already talk about you enough to him. Can I tell him about you powers? He might be able to make you something to help you.”

“You talk about me to Tony fucking Stark?!?!?”

“Yeah, you’re my best friend. Of course, I talk about you. So, can I tell him.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can tell IRON MAN about my powers.”

Life went on from there, you continued to talk to him like normal. Nothing had come up from him telling Stark about your powers or at least nothing yet. You had grown closer and you would talk about when you had a bad day, and he would tell you about his friendly neighborhood adventures. Then Christmas came and a few days later you deiced to come out to your parents…

* * * * * *

Next thing you knew you were on a plane headed to New York then you were in a taxi headed to Peter’s apartment. You couldn’t stop thinking about how they felt: disgust, anger, and greatest of all sadness. You felt this relief of finally being able to be your self but also the terrible pain of your parents abandoning you. You somehow made it through the plane and the taxi without crying.

Then there he was standing outside of your taxi, smiling with sad eyes. He quickly got your suitcase out of the trunk while you got out of taxi and put on your backpack. When the taxi drove away you both just stood there for a moment, neither of you knowing exactly what to say or do. There was a rush of emotions from both of you: happiness, excitement, and most of all sadness. Peter was mourning with you.

He walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your body in a tight, welcomed embrace. It was then when tears streamed down your face. You sobbed into his shoulder and neck for what seemed like days. Then he pulled away, “Let’s go inside.”

When he opened the door there was Aunt May, the only interactions you had with her where quick hellos or stupid jokes you told her about Peter. So, it was nice to actually meet her. She gave you a soft hug as soon as you came in the door.

“Thank you so much for letting me stay here,” you said pulling out of the hug. “I promise I will pull my weight and get a job as soon as I can.”

“Of course, sweetheart, all of Peter’s friends are welcome here and don’t worry about that right now we can talk about it in a few weeks. For now, you guys do what you want, and I got some work I gotta do so I will see guys in a few hours.” She gave your hand a squeeze, grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

You put your backpack on the couch, what was going to be your bed for a little while and sat down putting your face in your hands. Peter put your suitcase up against the wall, then he sat down next to you putting his hand on your back.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.”

You started to sob again. Peter just wrapped his arms around you pulling you into his chest. You cried and cried and cried. Eventually you fell asleep.

The next few days were rough for you. The first two were full of tears and crying but also full of laughing and smiling. The third day you were there was New Years Eve, Peter asked you if you wanted to go to see the ball drop, you declined. You told him the large crowd would probably overwhelm your powers and that some alone time would be nice. Peter understood so he went with MJ and Ned while Aunt May went to a party.

It was nice to be alone. You cried again but for most of the night you just laid there thinking of everything and thinking of nothing. You were worn out and fell asleep before the clock struck twelve.

You woke up early the next day, which was a little weird, but it was nice. When peter woke up, he deiced to show you around. He didn’t show you the big touristy places, but he showed you where he would watch for thieves, where he got sandwiches, or donuts, or ice cream. You just enjoyed the day doing nothing important at all.

The day after that he invited MJ and Ned over. You had never talked to them much less met them. You were nervous and excited so Peter eased your fears and told you that, “They will love you.” And they did, it went amazingly. They were both huge nerds just like you and Peter. Ned was loud and very vocal; his laugh could shake the world. MJ on the other hand was quiet, only speaking up when she felt it was needed. She was a lot like you, but she didn’t hide behind smiles like you did, she showed everything she felt even if it wasn’t very loudly. You got why Peter liked her, they fit like a glove.

Most of the night was filled with laughter and smiling. You played video games, board games, harassed Peter, and overall had a nice time. A few times you could’ve sworn you felt a pinch of jealousy from MJ, which brought you some comfort and reassurance towards Peter. It meant that he hadn’t outed you to MJ which you appreciated. You felt comfortable and safe for once, you didn’t feel afraid to talk about whatever for once. They left right before midnight, both with smiles on their faces as they did.

“We gotta go to bed,” Peter grinned. “I got some big plans for your birthday tomorrow.”

You had forgotten, tomorrow’s your birthday, you’re turning seventeen. You nodded and smiled at him. You were tempted to read his mind and find out what the surprise was but decided it might be better to just go along with it. So, you changed into your PJ’s and fell asleep on Peter’s couch.

Next Chapter

Arriving

#the new kid #the avengers #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x platonic!reader #avengers x reader #angst #avengers angst #avengers #wandavision #spiderman

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boyf-reinds · 3 years

Text

Heathers AU (Zombie Apoc >:D, if you already know this shit then your a friend of mine)

okay so lets say jd moved out his dad's house

is basically living in an alleyway

and he wants to do something to get revenge

this mf digs up a few random things in the trash

then makes the zombie thingy thing idk what its caLLED I FORGOT

he goes to kurt and ram

k and r are weirded out, jd tells them to host a party

they agree

jd comes, and spreads tjhe zombie thingy thing without them knowing

then soon it spreads out to the entirety of ohio. the heathers are panicking

i feel like writing ab this but anyways

they all spread out into duos

veronica and mcnamara

duke and chandler

veronica and mcnamara run into a horde while looking for a place to stay since their houses arent safe anymore

mcnamara offers to distract them while veronica goes to search for a place to stay

veronica finds one, then goes back to tell mcnamara

the horde is gone

but mcnamara is nowhere to be found

they never see eachother again after that

veronica grieves in the bakery, but then soon its attacked by another horde

she gets bit in the wrist and is slowly becoming infected

sometimes having the mindset of a zombie

then sometimes having the mindset of a human

she goes to look for a new place

finds duke's bunker

then duke lets her stay

meanwhile chandler is dead, duke doesnt know since chandler promised to be back while searching for food

veronica asks about her then duke just brushes it off

a few days later, they both start to worry about chandler

they split up to search for her

they end up finding eachother and also finding chandler

one problem

shes dead

on the ground lifeless

they try to get her back alive, but fail

after some digging they find out she killed herself

but they dont know why

after some more digging their conclusion is; she got tackled by a zombie, then killed herself with her pocket knife

they actually get some food

and go back to bunker

not knowing what to do, they just stay there, hoping for the best

veronica forgets about her wrist

and soon the infection gets worse

they thought they had already taken care of it

but; they were too late

it had already started infecting her silently

soon veronica's skin starts to rot in some places

and her zombie mindset goes on for longer for periods of time

they panic even more

so duke tries to figure out how to fix this

she kind of isolates veronica from any signs of life for a bit

and thats when it hit her

jd, kurt and ram

she noticed that one of the three, or hell, all of them would be watching a horde be killed in the corner of her eye

she goes to those locations, while veronica is left alone at the bunker, basically trapped there

duke eventually finds jd

threatens to kill him if he doesnt get veronica back to normal and cured

and if he doesnt give him the location where he last saw mcnamara

jd gives in due to duke holding a fucking knife up to his throat and a gun to his head

jd tells her the locations

whats sus is that theyre all alleyways

jd and duke go to the bunker

and over a course of a few weeks

they manage to atleast not really "cure" veronica but kind of- numb the infection? if u know what i mean

so veronica's zombie settles down

they bandage up and clean her rotting skin

then they work on getting mcnamara

they go to all the locations

but they dont find her

veronica thinks of an idea

shes like "if i were mcnamara rn and everything was completely fine where would i be"

she remembers that mcnamara often pretended everything was fine

then she goes to a list of places mcnamara would be at

the wishing fountain, the park, etc. etc.

they find her sitting by a rusty statue

now heres the thing

mcnamara actually is a zombie- but has a human mindset

they get her to the bunker

and do the same thing they did to veronica

mcnamara slowly is being cured

they decide that jd focuses on mcnamara getting cured; and duke focuses on veronica getting cured

now im not so sure if i should end it with a happy ending- so its up for interpretation for what happens next

@noni004 :)

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ennui-gt · 3 years

Text

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

#was gonna make this into a comic lawl #if I like actually manage to get off my ass over the coming weeks I probably will be able to do that! but yeah #also this was once posted b4 and I deleted it but it’s back now say hellow #Library Fairy #oc: Mira #oc: Ross #oc: Elliot #oc: Tess #oc: Val #oc: Alexei #anyway yeah here it is behold #the uhhhhh most slice of life thing I have ever created

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aardvaark · 4 years

Text

i know everyone gets mad at judy for always checking things like whats happening in the police precinct with the crimes or talking to detectives about those cases and all. i can totally see why jen and all are having a problem with that (steve is technically another example but he can - and lowkey did - die in a hole). it does look dodgy and weird and the situation is stressful for her (”her” being jen - from now on im just gonna refer to jen bc ew steve, so yeah sorry).

i mean i dont like that jen was still being rude or speaking to her like a child except worse and more angrily. she was condescending. but i do understand, at least, the fear resulting in anger at judy.

but ive been thinking about it, and i think the reason judy has a hard time sticking out of these issues is probably because she has previously had to solve every single issue shes experienced alone, when she was young. and she had to be constantly aware - has someone noticed my mother isnt going to school events? has someone noticed that im cooking and cleaning for myself? has someone noticed im tired and stressed? because if a teacher finds out, theyre going to do something, and i dont want to upset my mother because im sure somewhere deep down she really does care and love me sometimes. i dont want to upset anyone at all.

you’d fear massive changes in your life - everything needs to stay the same, even if its not stable, theres a kind of makeshift stability in constant instability. in always having to manage a crisis. theres steps, theres a mental checklist, theres things to do. she probably thought change would still be worse than this; a total upheaval in the short-term. no guarantee of stability in the future. as things were, she had the guarantee of instability, but it was still a guarantee.

she’d have to just reason that she could cope with anything. its what i always hear about kids in neglectful or abusive situations, its a pattern i think a lot of us have experienced: “you’re so mature for your age!” / “you’re special (or smart)” / “you’re so grown up!” / “you’re so responsible!” / “you’re sorry kind and sympathetic to your peers!”. this isnt meant to hurt, it doesnt necessarily hurt, its often from other adults who have no idea whats happening. but the behavior theyre seeing is more along the lines of: quiet, constantly alert, anxious, sad, upset, fearful.

[imo, theres a harmful misconception that quiet/stressed/rarely happy = growing up, becoming more mature. i do think its kind of awful that you’re not meant to have that child-like fascination and excitement with the world when you get older, but its true that just does often go away a little with time, completely naturally. but it can also be harmful to make that A Thing, because childhood depression and anxiety or experiencing potentially traumatic or otherwise stressful and upsetting situations can also lead to showing similar signs - just faster, earlier. and these can be misread as just being very mature for your age. but thats a separate issue i have with the world, lol.]

anyway, so shes found the only option is to hide the problems and present as totally fine. make excuses. lie. keep secrets. these behaviours have stuck with her, too. and so would the feeling that there is constant danger. she must know what the exact extent of the danger is at all times because she must monitor everything. she needs to be on the lookout for threats, because there are always threats. she has to check, be responsible, no one is going to help her, theres an order to the disorder, theres a way to manage the chaos and only she knows how because this is just another crisis. her average state, a day-in-the-life of judy hale.

shes always had to do that, in the context of her growing up. but although its the same feeling of stress, its a different context now, and that behaviour is a lot more suspicious in this situation. especially now, because shes an adult. and now shes not alone in the stressful environment, other people (eg jen w/the murder) want and need a say in how problems are being sorted out. and jen is kinda right, you know, you cant go around checking in with the police, it looks pretty odd. judys form of crisis management isnt applicable here, but judy doesnt really think about that, shes thinking about how best to keep herself safe. and thats how she thinks she is going to be safe, because thats what has worked. in fact, she was doing it because she wants jen to be safe, too.

shes doing the best she can with what she has, but her childhood was terrible and she never had the opportunity to form normal, more effective, adult-life socially applicable crisis management skills. all she did get was what she had to do as a child, to protect herself in a horribly twisted way, because she was a child who did not get to grow up in the way everyone else did. she missed out on a lot of things that you gain when youre not under extreme pressure just to survive and hide major problems while also having to live with those major problems. she didnt get to learn how to find more subtle ways of getting information, or when it was better to just not interact at all.

what she learnt let her live back then, it prevented her world from unravelling. how can she be expected to let go of those makeshift survival skills? how can she be expected to go against the instincts that have clearly saved her before? how can she be expected to confront her slowly growing understanding that her life should never have been like that, that she was robbed of her childhood, that she has had a horrible thing happen to her, that countless horrible things have happened to her, how can she be expected to accept that she deserved better than she has ever gotten? how can she be expected to allow herself all these feelings and fears she has been pushing down her entire life?

admitting/realising that she doesnt know what to do, that she isnt safe and cant control the situation by herself, means admitting far too much: it means admitting that she was never meant to be capable of coping by herself, that she actually couldnt cope with literally everything life threw her way no matter what - shes not okay, she didnt have some supernatural ability to somehow deal with everything, and she wasnt supposed to. that her mother knowingly put her in an unsafe situation, and she was not meant to just learn how to cope.

i dont think jen does or really truly can currently realise that, but i hope she starts to see that if she learns more about judy’s mom and all... she definitely didnt get that judy was stressed and actually doing what she thought was great, and also that what she has been doing isnt out of naivety or something, but kind of the opposite - more like she knows too much, has been too exposed, and now shes just applying those things here but it doesnt work here.

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saang · 4 years

Note

If you're still doing taang prompts how about alone together?

idk why it took me so long to respond, i’m so sorry,, it’s a modern au and theyre stuck in an elevator, i hope this is along the lines of what you wanted!!

word count: 1600

read it on ao3

Aang and Toph had just gotten into the elevator when it stopped. The light going out, and the elevator ceasing to move. That would put a damper on date night. Sokka, Katara, Zuko and Suki were still in the lobby. Toph and Aang, being themselves, raced them to the elevator. They were regretting it.

“What was that?” Toph asked in a mix of panic and confusion.

“The elevator stopped. I think the power may have gone out,” Aang answered. “I’ll call Sokka and ask.”

Aang got out his self phone and dialled Sokka’s number. “Hey, is there a power outage?”

“There certainly is. You and Toph stuck in the elevator?”

“We certainly are.”

“Ah, nice. Do you want me to call the Fire Department?” Sokka said.

“Sure, It’ll be nice to see Zuko again,” Aang laughed.

“Zuko wanted me to inform you that: one, he is not a firefighter.” Aang could hear Zuko’s voice on the other side of the call. “Two, you just saw him a few minutes ago, and three, just because he was a pyromaniac in his youth, doesn’t mean you should make fun of him for it.”

“Oh, everybody can mock me for having a crush on Katara when I was twelve, but I can’t make fun of Zuko?” Aang questioned. “I feel like that’s a double standard.”

“We make fun of you because it’s funny, Twinkletoes. Get used to it.” Toph rolled her eyes playfully, leaning against the wall of the elevator.

“Anyway, yes please call the fire department. I don’t know how long I can last stuck in here with Toph before either she murders me or I go insane.” Aang said. Sokka laughed on the other line at Aang’s comment.

“I don’t think it would result in murder, per se,” Toph said. “Maybe just some maiming.”

“That’s comforting, Toph. Thank you for clarifying.” Aang sat down cross-legged on the floor.

“No problem! Happy to clear things up,” Toph sat beside Aang. “How long are we gonna be stuck here?”

“I don’t know. I’m also stuck in the elevator, in case you haven’t noticed.” Aang shifted and stretched out his legs. Toph rested her head on Aang’s lap, her head facing the roof.

“What’s it like?” Aang asked. “You know being blind and everything.”

“It’s like being blind?” Toph answered, but it was phrased more like a question. “What do you mean?”

“What do you see?”

“I don’t see anything, I’m blind,” Toph shrugged her shoulders. Aang made a mocking sound.

“Like, how do you navigate? Or how do you pick out clothes?” Aang suggested the new questions. “How do you do the, seemingly, mundane things that would normally be associated with eyesight?”

“Well, I’m amazing and extraordinary, so it was actually quite easy to learn how to do it all,” Toph gloated. Aang absentmindedly starting playing with her hair, twirling it around his fingers. “And I guess I have a good support system that is always there to help me if I’m struggling, but doesn’t make it a big deal.”

“You’re admitting that sometimes you need help? That’s a big step for you, I’m proud.”

“Haha, so funny,” Toph said, rolling her eyes. “But on a serious note, yes I can be serious, stop laughing, I really appreciate you guys.”

“And we appreciate you too,” Aang said genuinely. “Even when you make fun of us.”

“That’s how I show my love,” Toph said, a small laugh escaping her lips.

“I’m well aware. The first week we started dating I had a bruise on my arm as well as on my psyche,” Aang looked down at Toph. He was glad, in that moment, that Toph was blind because she would have definitely would’ve called the look of adoration in his eyes cheesy.

“I’m sure your psyche was fine, I didn’t make fun of you that much. Just a little,” Toph said. “Also if you keep playing with my hair, I will fall asleep.”

“Oh, sorry,” Aang apologized. He retracted his hand from her head, setting it back on the ground.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it, I was just informing you that I would fall asleep if you continued,” Toph said, a faint smile on her face. She closed her eyes and shifted against Aang’s lap.

Aang took a moment to really appreciate his girlfriend’s beauty. Her skin, soft like silk. Her eyes, a pale jade; they were closed but he had them committed to memory long before they started dating. When they were just friends and he was completely lovestruck. Her hands, they were small but they held so much power. The way they felt against his skin. He could still feel her fingertips gliding down the bridge of his nose, gauging what it might look like to the sighted, like it was yesterday.

Her laugh was by far his most favourite about Toph. It was gorgeous, ethereal, music to his ears. It was infectious and amazing. It was what he fell in love with first. He fell for it first and most. If Aang got one wish from a deity or the heavens if they existed, it would be hearing Toph’s laugh played on repeat for the rest of his life, He didn’t think he’d ever get tired of hearing it. To him, hearing her laugh was like hearing for the first time.

“You’ve got that look on your face, don’t you?” Toph asked, her eyes were still closed, but there was no real reason for them to be open.

“What look?” Aang asked.

“The look Suki always tells me is on your face when I walk in the room,” Toph explained.

“I don’t think it’s that often, but perhaps it was on my face a few seconds ago, yes,” Aang admitted. Toph sat up and stretched. She repositioned herself, her head resting on Aang’s shoulder. Their arms pressed up against each other. They sat there for a few minutes before Aang’s phone started ringing.

“Hey, Sokka, what’s up?” Aang put the call on speaker so Toph could hear.

“Fire department is here, says it’s going to be at least another fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen more minutes? How will I ever survive?” Toph whined.

“At least fifteen minutes, it could be more. You could be stuck there for another hour,” Sokka taunted, laughing at Toph’s whining.

“Aang stop laughing at me!”

“I’m sorry, Toph,” Aang laughed. “It’s funny.”

“Okay, I’ll let you laugh at me just this once because,” Toph started. “I’m an amazing girlfriend; and I’ve laughed at your expense before.”

Aang rolled his eyes lovingly. “How kind of you.”

“Wow, okay. I’m hanging up now,” Sokka ended the call. Toph sighed loudly and blindly looked in Aangs direction. Aang busted out laughing. Toph joined him.

“Why are we laughing?” Aang asked.

“I don’t know, you started it,” Toph replied.

“We’ve almost got it only a few more minutes,” a firefighter told Katara and Suki.

“Great, the quicker the better,” Katara replied.

“Toph, even if she doesn’t want to admit it, gets a bit claustrophobic,” Suki added.

“Yeah, five minutes at maximum.” The firefighters pried the doors open to a crying Toph.

“And that’s why me and my parents drifted apart,” Toph cried.

“You're completely valid to feel that way, you're always safe with me,” Aang consoled her. “Oh, they got the doors open.”

“For reference, I was not crying. I also did not reveal anything about my past trauma. Just as clarification,” Toph stood up, wiping the tears off her cheeks. She dusted off her pants.

“It’s true she didn’t, I was with her in the elevator,” Aang backed her up. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Okay, good for you,” Zuko said. “These bags are heavy and we need the keys to your guys’ place.”

“Okay, I see how it is,” Aang scoffed, overdramatically. “Only friends with us for our countertop.”

“So shallow, I can’t believe it, Aang. Time and money invested into these friendships, all down the drain!” Toph draped the backside of her hand on her forehead. “A travesty, I don’t think I’ll ever recover.”

“You’re so overdramatic.” Zuko sighed as they got out of the elevator. “And this is coming from a theater major.”

“Oh, that’s gotta sting,” Suki laughed.

“Not that much, no,” Toph shook her head. “And maybe this is because I have blackmail on Zuko, but I don’t even think so.”

“Wait blackmail?,” Katara asked.

“Oh, I have to hear this,” Sokka said.

“Is this the-?” Aang and Zuko asked at the same time.

“It is.”

“Why does Aang know and we don’t?” Suki asked.

“You know how I have those things that we don’t talk about?” explained Toph.

“Your feelings?” Katara said.

“Yes, those.”

“You told Aang because you're in love with him, got it. Now spill,” Sokka laughed.

“You all know how Zuko was a pyromaniac in his youth, right?”

“No, no no, please-” Zuko tried to interject but Toph stopped him.

“Well, what if I told you he only stopped because my parents found him trying to light our estate on fire?”

“Oh? Please tell me this is true?” Katara asked, her hands clasped in front of her face in disbelief. “No, like seriously. I need to know if this is true.”

“Unfortunately, it is,” Zuko confirmed. “I had a very, very troubled childhood. I got the therapy I needed. The Beifong’s didn’t press charges. It’s all in the past. Thankfully.”

“Don’t worry, I have more stories where that came from. Even some I haven’t told Aang,” Toph revealed.

“Really?” Aang asked.

“Oh, yeah, and they are so very embarrassing!”

#thank you for the prompt #taang #atla #aang #toph #modern au #avatar: the last airbender #toph beifong #i love them #fic #taang fanfiction

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ryncorrect · 4 years

Text

university!au: day6 sungjin

i’ve abandoned this au for so long istg my life is a mess yall please forgive but anyway im back with my bullshit and ready to spread my cringe-worthy stuff to the world again

name: park sungjin

major: practical music and arts

other activities: leader, guitarist, and vocalist of university band, president of music club, member of cooking club

park sungjin is the embodiment of leadership

i mean he’s the band leader, the club president, also the president of his class since year one, like he’s so trustworthy and responsible, literally nothing can go wrong under his sight

and even when things do go wrong (life is a bitch) he’ll still make sure everyone is fine and having the time of their lives pun intended

anyone who meets sungjin for the first time will probs say he has this tough man aura, cold,,, tsundere-ish idk

but as someone who have known each other for so long, you never understand when anyone says sungjin looks cold

you know damn well the moment sungjin opens his mouth he gonna throw dad jokes with his satoori dialect

dad jokes are fucking funny fight me

you once said sungjin should start his own comedy club

......he’s currently considering it

oh right he also talks about food all. the. time.

he joined cooking club for a reason okay

no, he can’t and doesn’t really cook he’s only there to taste food and people let him there because he’s nice and he knows how to appreciate the cooks

uh we love a man with manners

so, who is sungjin for you exactly?

he lives next door, one year older than you, was a leader even when you were little ayeee childhood friend cliche

can you imagine little sungjin leading his friends in game its so pure brb crying

you told him everything you couldn’t tell ur parents because they were busy, you asked for his advises, he made sure you were safe and happy

you still depend on him even after you two have grown up

you enrolled to the same university, took the same major with him, and even joined the clubs he’s a member of

this isn’t because you’re indecisive, it’s just that you spent so much of your childhood with sungjin that you two became similar to each other, up to your hobbies and interests and even palate lmao

that’s why he loves to eat with you because you two never argue about the menu

the only club you can’t join is the band, and that’s because jae rejected your application

reason: extremely close personal relationship with sungjin, therefore sungjin will take your side if we ever had an argument

you denied that; no, sungjin wont take anyone’s side based on feelings bc he’s a logical person and he always listens carefully to every side of the parties before he makes a decision..... but jae wont listen

brat

"you only rejected me because im a better guitarist”

“lalalalala cant hear you over my authority as the important band member”

“fuck you”

“i don’t accept offers”

anywayssss you did fail to join the band, but you’re friends with them, theyre literally so used to your company that sometimes they forgot youre not actually in the band

you and the guys teamed up for sungjin’s surprise birthday party

the surprise failed because dowoon accidentally added sungjin to the group chat

sungjin being nice and playing along anyway because he didnt want to disappoint you

and then its sungjin’s turn to ask the guys for help for your birthday party

failed again because dowoon AGAIN accidentally invited you, in person, to your own birthday party

dowoon what the heck?????

yeah its all cute and sweet but thats all of your relationship with sungjin, you treat him like a dependable brother and he treats you like his own little sister

thats what you tell to your friends too when they ask if you two are dating

they’re glad thats the case

because they have a crush on sungjin LMAOOOOO PLOT TWIST

they’re hoping they can get to sungjin through you yanno like asking you to send him snacks and letters or to tell him they say hi

you dont mind i mean you know sungjin is one admirable person ofc everyone likes him

sungjin never rejects nor accepts it hes just like “yay snacks!”

“god damn it sungjin just date any of them im tired of being a matchmaker”

“then dont?? literally no one asked you to”

little did you know that sungjin had the same problem

some of his classmates are interested in you but whenever they come to him he just says, “dont ask me i dont know anything and if i do i wont tell you”

this one sandeul guy has started asking you out and stuff

“ehhh youre so nice i’ll think about it!!”

you, immediately texting sungjin: ur friend sandeul ask me out what should i do

sungjin: do you like him tho

you: not really idk him yet

sungjin: just tell him your mom said no

you: damn nice

but this guy is so persistent and you gotta admit hes kinda cute and after a few tries you finally said yes to him

so you two went together and it was pretty fun

sungjin isnt too happy when he hears about it from sandeul

he asked you, “why didnt you tell me first?”

“well i dont think its a big deal. it was just a date anyway”

but you always told him everything

sungjin never speaks about it again

you go on another date with sandeul the week after

you tell sungjin later and he doesnt ask how it went

hes just “oh”

idk he’s kinda distant now, he rarely talks nor replies to your texts

he doesn't visit music club nor cooking club either so you don't see him often

have i told you im uncreative and all my aus are lame???

you think its probably because hes focusing for the finals, but even after it’s over sungjin doesnt really hang out with you or the band anymore like he only comes for practices and leaves right after

weirdly no one says anything about sungjin’s absence

but you cant stay quiet any longer and decide to ask dowoon whats wrong with sungjin

you shouldve known dowoon cant help much

“honestly i dont know either, maybe you should ask wonpil he’s sungjin’s roommate”

“but what if wonpil told sungjin”

“told sungjin what?”

“that i asked about him”

“asked him what?”

“...nevermind”

you asked younghyun

younghyun doesnt help either

“i dont know, just ask him yourself. i thought you were the closest to him??” why you so salty man

okay fine lets ask jae

“i’ll tell you for fifty bucks”

“dude im broke”

“then deal with it yourself”

you had no choice but to ask wonpil

“he’s just tired”

you know wonpil lied but this little shit refuses to tell anything

“please dont force me to answer i will cry really loudly and it’ll be embarrassing for the both of us”

why do you befriend them in the first place smh

oh youre right about wonpil telling sungjin that youre worried, and he does tell him to talk to you if he got something in mind

sungjins hesitant but in the end he only says, “no... its just that i didnt realize until recently that my little sister has grown up a lot”

“dear god wtf you sound like her grandma”

skip the boring part so uh a few more days passed awkwardly between you two and after your failed attempt at asking around you decide to confront sungjin in person

youre in the band practice room, the others are present, sungjin’s about to leave early as usual, and you find yourself jumping up your seat, “whats your problem with me?”

you know sungjin hates confrontation but you cant stand it anymore. you tried giving him time but if theres anything you seem to be more of a stranger to him

“i dont know what i did wrong and i wont know if you dont tell me, so let me know. i’ll listen and i’ll apologize if its my fault, but dont give me silent treatment like this. its so unlikely of you"

you can see sungjin clences his jaw as he replies calmly, "people change"

"you don't change, youre being childish. if you're mad you should talk about it. if you don't want me here you should tell me to go. if you don't like ME dating your friend you should tell me not to!!!"

drama much ryn

"youre your own person and you make your own choice, its your life and i cant keep telling you what to do or what not," and the end part kinda slips, "i don't hate you dating my friend or anyone, okay? im just not used yet to be a second person for you and im afraid youll get hurt"

"youre never?? a second person sungjin where does this idea even come from youre the only one for me i dont want anyone else???"

and suddenly there's a train of awkward coughs and you come back to your senses and you realize you're being watched

jae pretends to make a phone call, "mom pick me up im scared"

lame jae lame

dowoon mumbles, "can we,,, make an exit first before you two declare your undying love bc its privacy yanno"

you feel the heat spreading across your face as you open your mouth the same time as sungjin, both want to deny dowoon, but younghyun beats yall to it, "yeah you two are in love with each other we been know"

you and sungjin stares at each other, confused, "we don't???"

"oh honey,,, my dear,,, ive read enough sappy shit in writing club to see where this is going"

the conversation was cut there and neither of you bring it up again,

because the idea of you loving sungjin or sungjin loving you is so weird that you refuse to think about it, and so is for sungjin

but ever since that, sungjin has drastically come back to normal its almost hilarious, he spends a lot of time hanging out in the music club, practicing with the band, visiting the cooking club, making a joke here and there

sungjin is himself again with you, a caring dependable brother whom you come to whenever you need to talk or just hang out with and he always makes sure he has time for you

sap

you know hes always been like that but why does it feel different now??? the way he smiles or pulls your hand so youre walking on the inner side of the road,,, how he neatly places your spoon and chopsticks on a napkin when you two go out to eat together,,,, why

tender love baby chICKEN TENDER

mydayexol follow me

andddd so one day, someone asked you out. again.

wow ur so popular i cant Relate

you, texting sungjin: sandeuls friend jinyoung something invited me to a party next saturday should i come

sungjin, replying to you: hmm

you: ???

sungjin: i think its up to you

for some reason youre disappointed by his reply,,, but he’s right tho its your call if you wanna go then you go its not about what sungjin says

right?

right???

but suddenly you got another text: but if you ask for my opinion i would say don't go

you: actually i dont want to either lol so what should i say

sungjin: tell him you already have a date

you: nice

sungjin: with me

you: ayyeee

you: wait what

sungjin: i mean its just a suggestion

sungjin: which you can accept

sungin: or reject

for some reason you can imagine sungjin’s cheeky smile through his texts and it makes your inside tingles and you wanna giggle

so yea you thought it was a joke but he actually did take you out for a movie and dinner

it was really nice

so yanno the weird thing is that neither of you ask the other to be “official” but you just. are dating.

ur friends are mad like “bUT YOU SAID YOU TWO WERENT A THING”

“lol sry i changed my mind”

“fuck you”

“no thanks sungjin can do that... bUT DONT TELL SUNGJIN I SAID THAT hes gonna kill me”

“is he ur mom”

“basically yeah”

this sucks real bad but who cares

not me obviously

ill be back soon (or not) with dowoon’s one lets hope i can do better than this dnsjfsndfj lnjajnfdjs lmAO I LOVE YALL AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE

#day6 #sungjin #park sungjin #day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 fanfic #day6 reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #im sorry sungjin #ive put this on hold for too long i already forgot what i wanted to write in the first place #bye

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nebucat · 4 years

Text

i’m very empathetic. i know i am

i’m able to easily imagine another’s perspective and how i would feel if i were in their position, and if i don’t right away then i try my best to do so

the issue was that i could see their perspective, i could understand where they were coming from, but i knew their perspective was skewed by insecurities and that they were too wrapped up in it and stubborn to think critically or have faith in me.

i didn’t... want to validate those insecurities, or i guess i didn’t want to reinforce that sort of thinking. i wanted to help them out of it! but i guess i just... didn’t know how. i didn’t know how to reassure them besides explaining my perspective. i didn’t want to just dismiss how they were feeling! i payed far more attention than they realized. to the point that i immediately understood the problem and felt how they were feeling because i’ve been there before. in some ways, i still am. feeling replaceable or insecure. and i know thats just what it is. i know insecurity obscures our vision. and it made me uncomfortable because the fact i knew it wasn’t true. the accusations of ‘ignoring’ them or losing interest in our writings was not true. but i didn’t know how else to tell them that.

especially because i shrink so much under accusations. my knee-jerk reflex is to accept fault for something as a fawner. the number of times i rolled over for them didn’t help my mental state because i genuinely did let myself be convinced of the things they were telling me. that i ignore them. that i’m dismissive. that i’m inconsiderate. and i am trying to unlearn all of that shit that got ingrained in my head. and it didnt... help either? that they would guilt trip me when i did try to share my perspective, only reinforcing the insecurities.

it was never... enough. i was never enough. i could never make them happy and there was always something i was getting criticized for. no matter what i did, now matter how hard i tried, i was ALWAYS doing something wrong. and they would rub it in my face with their cruel, vindictive comments.

‘if only you payed more attention’

‘you don’t want to disappoint your cool new friends’

‘you’d rather disappoint me than them’

‘you want to stop being as important to each other? fine. i’ll start giving you as equal amount of attention as i do everyone else. you want me to give you reassurance for things i’m not even aware of? ok. i’ll start showering you in those meaningless compliments everyone else throws around in this rpc’

‘it’s hard to care about setting off your anxiety when you clearly don’t care about setting off mine’

and i... i wanted to move IN with this person. i wanted a relationship with them!!! i genuinely saw a future with them. because i thought they were changing. i thought they cared. i thought they loved me back.... i wanted to be with them so badly and yet this person was so cruel to me. i was so naive to believe that was what real love looked like.

i don’t even want to think about what could have happened if i stayed. if i continued down that path with them. if i actually did move in with them. i was already so isolated from everyone in our community with them. but i would have been even more isolated if i moved in with them and i would have had no way to escape. thinking about it makes me so nauseous and freaked out.

im so fucking glad i left. i’m so thankful for the friends who helped me get out before it was too late. that week before shit hit the fan, i was such a fucking wreck. i was starving myself because trying to eat made me throw up, having anxiety induced nightmares and was crying literally every single day multiple times, pacing up and down the street at night trying to talk myself down and reason with myself, sleeping all the time because i’d rather be unconscious than awake. i wanted to die. i really wanted to fucking die. it was like highschool all over again. and seeing them groom another person and treat them the same way they treated me when WE first met... seeing how much they praised that person and flattered them and gave them so much positive attention, yet knowing how abusive and neglectful they’d been to me...

i was convinced i was a broken person. i remember saying that to myself, “i’m broken. i’m so broken” as i cried and cried and cried. they didn’t make me feel loved or safe. they made me feel broken.

and thats what narcissistic abuse is. they’ll appeal to you with sweet talk and praise and attention, shower you in compliments and make you feel like the most special person in the world. and once they have their hooks in you, they’ll slowly break you down and groom you into tolerating the abuse. the guilt trips. the manipulation and gaslights. they’ll provoke you to get you to fight with them so they can pick apart everything you say and poke holes in you in order to garner control over you. they’ll humiliate and use hostile humor to tease you in public spaces in order to keep you off balance and install shame inside you.

they do this because they need their narcissistic supply. it doesnt matter if its positive validation or negative validation, they do this because theyre deeply insecure to the core and have to depend on external validation in order to feel anything. and because they’re living in their own delusional reality, they think this is NORMAL and OKAY and that they aren’t wrong for acting like this. a narcissist can never be wrong and will NEVER hold them self accountable for their actions without dragging others down with them.

even the last MESSAGE this person sent me just goes to show they literally are incapable of holding themself accountable for anything. they’ll only apologize to convince you to give them another chance. and thats what that note was--- an attempt to convince me otherwise. but their actions speak louder than the sweet talk and sob stories. and i knew this for certain when i confronted them after calling the police for the suicide baiting. they denied it was a manipulation tactic and had the gall to shame ME for getting worried about them! LMAO. “i’m sorry YOU felt that way” “i’m sorry YOU felt pressured”. not a single apology for literally trying to manipulate me. not a single apology for being the one to use their suicidal idealization to keep me tethered for so long. because narcissists can’t hold themself accountable and will find any reason not to.

i used to have narcissistic behaviors. sometimes i still catch myself falling into old toxic patterns. but i KNOW i’m not narcissistic. i have empathy, i AM considerate and kind, i TAKE accountability for my actions without using self deprecation or excuses, and nothing good and nice i tell people is fake or forced. i have so much love in my heart for people and i’m proud of myself for how far i’ve come and how hard i work to grow and better myself.

so i guess there is one thing i can thank them for. for getting me to fall in love and realize how much i truly have to give. i’m going to invest that love in the people who actually love and respect me, and respect my feelings. and continue working on myself for the benefit of my and those around me.

and who knows, maybe one day i’ll find someone as funny and charming who’ll treat me better. someone i can share as much of myself with as i did with them, who wont take me for granted. until then, i just want to learn to be content with myself.

#vent #abuse cw #suicide cw #entrophobia cw

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