#this scene was too funny 🤣

[devilart2199-aibi]

Fishy Business 🐟

#hermitcraft fanart #hermitcraft #vintagebeef #vintagebeef fanart #docm77 #docm77 fanart #skizzleman #skizzleman fanart #mcyt fanart #mcyt #this scene was too funny 🤣 #finally finished this one after forever haha OTL #llama dad 2.0 #Skizz being there was very unexpected 😂 #will be posting all my recent art here again haha!

[victimized-martyr]

Sorry I never gave a proper update on tumblr——

here’s some brainstorming doodles from Keo and me on the white board and some examples Keo made in my notebook. I won’t forget it, one of my harshest note was “NEVER draw Kenny in 3/4!! Trey hates that!” 🤣 The story leads stressed that Trey is very particular with acting decisions and poses, most of which don’t translate into the animation. It’s for him at the editing stage, to “make his voice sing”. Getting into Trey’s head, funnily enough, requires FEELING. Feeling what he’s going for in terms of delivery, to learn what not to take literally in his script (when trey says “kathleen kennedy is like terminator” it’s not what you initially think it means), what emotion or gesture to put in to elevate a joke, to get the message through. It’s so fascinating!

In short, I didn’t make the cut. I was “too fresh”, and needed more experience with the technical aspect of storyboarding…. but I was complimented by Keo for my intuition, something that can’t be taught. I was over the moon when I was told I got the style of the show, whereas other trainees with 10+ experience couldn’t. Some of them tested but don’t even watch the show!! That’s crazy, but I guess that’s to be expected. My knowledge of the show and deep love for the characters got me this far, but I need to work on my actual story boarding skills (keo said my struggles are in composition and scaling) to stay!! 💪🏼 I’m taking this… as a not yet, not a no. I’m already on their radar, in their database, I’m incredibly lucky I got to make my THIRD connection in the studio, I just need to work on myself until I can arrive. I’m so grateful for all the support from friends family and industry moots to get me this far, it’s only the beginning of the year but I don’t think anything could top what happened to me this March!!!!!

#south park #kyman #i’m tagging kyman bc the damn ship got me this far too credit where credit is DUE 🤣🤣🤣🤣 #behind the scenes #it’s so funny actually I drew in a lil kyman moment in my boards at the studio (not as like a haha i’m a sneak this in. more like. it just. #flows outta me lol) #and when i received notes on that panel the leads didn’t say anything abt my kyman…. they zeroed in and kinda argued w/ each other if i #should have drawn more details for the lockers or not 🤣🤣🤣 #Keo came clutch so I followed his advice in not drawing the details but greg insists abt drawing them in #and then they went into ‘well trey doesn’t say anything when I do/don’t draw them in’ and i kinda stood there like 🧍🏻‍♀️ #I thought the whole thing was hilarious in the end #maybe I should draw that moment jgkgfjfh #talk tag #I feel like I scammed everyone like…. I’ve never professionally boarded in my life. How the hell did i get this far.

[liverralonee]

“stu macher is dead” WHOS THIS THEN

he can’t hide from me, stuart i know you’re there.

thank you to @stanheightis for this descovery (help).

#just kidding!!!! #🤣🤣🤣 #i’m still wondering who that is tho it’s kinda funny #like one second there’s no one in that window #but then right at the end there is #AND THE SCENE HAS NO CUTS TOO LIEK SOMEONE WAS JUST THERE #i think it’s funny #stu macher #scream 1996 #scream #stuillyshipping #gay horror #90s

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

i uhh. saw a screenshot from 'say anything' (1989) and then. made it fengqing 😳😳 (also those are the lyrics from '武家坡/wu jia po' bc i have had it stuck in mY HEAD FOR A MONTH NOW IT WILL NOT GO AWAY HAAAAALP ;A; but actually don't, the song fucking SLAPS, if anything had to be stuck in my head i'm glad it's this one 🥺)

#birb still draws #fengqing #tgcf #tgcf fanart #feng xin #mu qing #feng xin/mu qing #feng xin x mu qing #tian guan ci fu #天官赐福 #(got to cover all my bases lmao 😅) #the boombox scene #i wanted to join the big hair mu qing gang but i don't think i QUITE succeeded #he looks more like tall hair mu qing than anything :'D #i also cut the boombox directly out of the screenshot bc i thought it was funny. pls laugh :'D #i spent WAYYYY too long on that painting behind mq #there was literally NO REASON FOR IT i just started and couldn't stop 🤣🤣 #is this still an art blog?

[scullys-scalpel]

The Golden Girls 7.09

#the monkey show part 2 #i know this has been giffed and screenshot multiple times but this scene is just too funny #my cell phone gifs #plus you can never have too much golden girls right? #early 90s #sitcom #this was their last season #the golden girls #im low budget yall so my gifs aren't good ao forgive me 🤣

[syncogon]

ok i will stop complaining about my yb rarepair bc shoutout to this person for editing an entire an entire mv for mqmb / xj

miqin mubei x xiao-jing!!

eighty thousand views!!

#young blood #synco talks #ding er posting on main again #that's a lotta views for a yb vid! for a ding er vid! #i can't watch it because i know the context of the og scenes too well it's too wrong #but this is so so funny. op i respect the plank you are rowing 🫡 #also like the wangfujing shippers are kinda intense so like extra props to op for doing this anyway. the vid comments were super funny #anyway. i know that silly considerations like “have they ever talked to or about each other in canon” hardly factor in to the shipper agend #(though it does factor into the “can i make a music video edit with them” which again im very impressed op was able to make this #but even as far as rarepairs go this one is really a stretch. i do not think they would get along at all 🤣 #it's really just for the 'bad boy who's good to me' 'i could fix him' kinda flavor HAHAHA #like. i could probably find a way to sell it. but it'd be a stretch 🤣 #(they weren't kidding! you really can ship every char with every char in this show!)

[yumeka-sxf]

In addition to Yor's epiphany scene, this scene was the other one I was most looking forward to in season 2 - a scene that, in my opinion, is one of the most Twiyor-ish scenes in the series so far 💖

Why is it so significant? Because there was no reason for Twilight to put on any Loid Forger acting in that moment. He wasn't conversing with nor being scrutinized by anyone. So why would he give that soft smile followed by such affectionate, comforting words as "お疲れ様/otsukaresama"? (this can be translated in many ways, but generally it's something you say to thank someone for their hard work).

The answer is because it's something he truly felt...he understood the sacrifice Yor made for Anya's happiness and genuinely appreciated it (if only he knew the sacrifice she made on the larger scale, lol). While he's a bit perturbed at first since some onlookers were snickering at him, it didn't take long for him to soften and then graciously carry his queen and princess the girls back to the ship 😭

But Twilight overall was really soft in this episode and I loved it~ From his blush upon seeing Yor to the several times he gave that same soft smile when talking with/looking at her...I think Anya was right when she called him out on the ship about missing his wife 😅

I liked how the anime conveyed his shock when noticing her bruised face...what must have been his thought at that moment? 👀

The scenes of the family activities translated better in animated form in my opinion. While they were each only a single panel in the manga, they lasted a few seconds each in the anime, plus the addition of the insert song helped the with the comfy, wholesome vibe~ Also the part where Yor inadvertently chucks Anya across the ocean is still hilarious.

Loid's dorky skip at the beginning of the episode translated very well in animated form too 😅

The ending of this chapter in the manga always felt a bit rushed to me...it quickly jumps from the aforementioned scene of them returning to the ship, to suddenly being home, reuniting with Bond and Franky, having a meal together, then Twilight meeting Sylvia, all within a few panels. Even though I wish the anime added more than just some additional scenes of the ship leaving the island, I felt it flowed much better in the anime since, just like the family activities, each scene in the ending lasted a second or two instead of being a single illustration.

But I love how this chapter/episode ends, with Yor, Anya, and Bond napping while Anya draws about her family vacation. This seems to take place the next day or maybe later the same day they got home, so makes sense they'd still be tired from the trip!

By the way, the manga has this additional scene showing that Olka and company are safe. Weird that the anime didn't stick it in at some point.

Also, the anime team didn't have to go so hard with this episode's key visual but they did...and I love it 😍 Might actually be my favorite of the key visuals so far!

I was very happy to see the "surrounded by liars" panel finally animated! This is such a funny scene and a great way to fully wrap up the cruise arc.

I also burst out laughing at Yuri's locker 🤣

Damian is surprisingly laid back in this episode. I think the reason is because Anya's antics aren't directly involving him. He tends to go total tsundere only when she's actually talking to him, lol.

The new scene of Yor getting the keychains for her coworkers was a nice addition! Guess it's canon that Yor and Anya didn't sleep for the entire trip back, lol. Glad they got to spend family time on the ship too! (though I wish we could have seen Yor's reaction waking up in Loid's bottom bunk bed, haha. He must have brought her to his room since he wouldn't know where her room is. Unless she woke up before he even put her in a bed, in which case she would have been super embarrassed knowing he was carrying her around in public 😆)

Looks like next week the anime will be changing the order of things a bit and giving us the Becky home-wrecking and Fiona chapters (the latter of which seems to have some anime original content?) The Becky chapter is one of my favorite stand-alone chapters...I'm already dying of laugher thinking about it 😂

#spy family #spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #anya forger #twiyor #sxf anime #becky blackbell #yuri briar

[hanafubukki]

Okay Hana, hear me out. Current Lilia with General Lilia Tsum.

How much chaos is going to go down? 😂

Hello Syrenkitsune 🌺💕🌸

What’s that I hear? People screaming and NRC is on fire? Ah, so that’s why 😂😂 Jkjkjk

This can go so many ways. I can see current Lilia kind of poking at his younger tsum self just for giggles you know? Kind of a flashback to how he used to be and, wow, what a hot head he was.

General Lilia even in his Tsum form gives me feisty cat vibes. I can see him alert and protecting Malleus from the sidelines. But also kind of running away from our diasomnia.

Which makes me wonder…did he also go through the trauma of book 7 🤔 I think it would be heartbreaking and yet kind of funny. To see General Lilia just…running with an egg on his back and either chucking his hatchet or bulldozing through enemies 😂

General Lilia is also powerful and strong, maybe even stronger than our Lilia so I can see them tousle a bit 😂

Now, General Tsum is not dumb. He will find Lilia’s weakness and use it against him. 👀 He won’t use diasomnia because family feelings but there’s you.

You’re just a human right? It doesn’t matter. But oh it matters

The way Lilia freezes when he sees his General tsum on you. Daring him.

Lilia could shred him right now to pieces. Suddenly Lilia has claws out.

But I feel it also kind of back fires on general tsum too 🤣🤣 you hold this tsum close and comment how cute it is and you’re reminded of your dream adventures.

Giving it love and hoping it has an easier life and hoping it knows how loved he is.

And then you kiss him and both the tsum and our Lilia freezes.

You know that scene in Lilo and stitch?? Where Lilo puts a flower necklace on stitch and he freezes and falls? Yeah, that’s general tsum.

Suddenly he’s frozen and you’re pretty sure it’s becoming hot from how flustered he is. 🤣💕

Our Lilia on the other hand is pouting, that was his kisses!! How dare? He didn’t think his tsum would truly hurt you but to steal his affection? Now’s he’s sulking 🤣

I can see general tsum leaning into you, shocking you both. But you can’t help but smile and just cradle it close to your heart.

General tsum sees how his counterpart is with you. Maybe, just maybe, he can let himself rest with you.

And our Lilia feels a part of him heal just from the sight 🥹💕

Anskskshshshs this got deep and tender 😂🥹💕💞 I can’t help it with them 🥹🥹💚💚

#answered #🌺syrenkitsune🌺 #lilia vanrouge x reader #general lilia vanrouge #twisted tsumderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader

[hannieehaee]

hii! a svt reaction where they accidentally fell, ending up with S/O's chest on their face, plss 🤣 💙

falling on your chest

content: gender neutral reader, suggestive if u squint a lot, some silly boys getting flustered, etc.

wc: 819

a/n: hii tysm for requesting!! i hope u like <3

masterlist

seungcheol -

spluttering his words. would be so sheepish afterwards, apologizing while unable to meet your eyes. the usually confident guy would feel so out of place at the situation, not only embarrassed at tripping but at having landed in such a suggestive place. would remember this moment every so often and cringe at himself.

jeonghan -

he's a weirdo so he'd probably do that little gremlin laugh and make a joke out of it. would apologize if he had hurt you, but other than that he wouldn't have too much of a reaction at falling against your chest. if anything, he'd find your flustered reaction funny, shifting focus to that as he teased you about it.

joshua -

he'd turn it on you, being rarely embarrassed by anything he did, even accidents. why were you standing there? did you by chance want him to land there? would still apologize, but in a very lighthearted way that somehow made him come off as charming despite his clumsiness having caused him to land face first on your chest.

jun -

the moment he looked up from tripping, he'd immediately yell out in shock at your sudden proximity. he'd grow easily embarrassed, separating himself as fast as humanly possible, almost as if he'd been burnt. he'd probably accidentally hurt you in the process, now having to explain to you why the hell he had reacted like that out of nowhere.

soonyoung -

would go blank. not sure how he ended up in this situation, and also unsure of how to process it. he'd chuckle awkwardly, bowing repeatedly as he apologized for falling on your chest. a bit embarrassed at realizing he kinda maybe liked the proximity a lil bit.

wonwoo -

wide eyes and completely baffled. would never hear the end of it by the boys, who would replay the scene for him over and over in the same way they mock him for his run in bittersweet. poor boy would sheepishly apologize afterwards but not be able to hold eye contact again for a while.

jihoon -

his ears would turn red, completely embarrassed that he had somehow ended up in this situation. he'd blame his exhaustion, assuming that he was so distracted he'd tripped and landed against your chest. would profusely apologize, now not only embarrassed by what happened but also by how red he was in the face. would leave the situation as soon as possible, hoping to not meet your eyes the rest of the day.

seokmin -

scandalized boy. would be a bit like jun in the way he'd kinda freak out over it, feeling embarrassed he not only fell against you, but also had his head land on your chest. would apologize over and over, assuring you that it was an accident and now feeling embarrassed being in your presence

mingyu -

he's so clumsy he'd be surprised this hadn't already happened before. his first reaction would be worry at having hurt you by almost falling on top of you. then he would process where he fell against and apologize profusely, tail between his legs as he rambled at you that it was an accident and that he was so sorry if he made you uncomfortable.

minghao -

he's usually very put-together and doesnt seem to be easily embarrassed. except for this instance. for one, he tripped, which was embarrassing enough on its own, but he also tripped on you. not only did he trip on you, but he landed head-first into your chest. he would be speechless, not knowing what to say, just staring with wide eyes and agape mouth. a few seconds later, he'd snap out of it and apologize if he had hurt you somehow, attempting to move past it as soon as possible.

seungkwan -

would also turn it on you. he would be too flustered to admit fault, claiming you had been in the way and that's why he'd landed on your chest. poor boy would get so red in the face, unable to look into your eyes despite having scolded you just seconds ago.

vernon -

shocked. even if you two had been physically close by the time this happened, he would still be shocked that he had somehow ended up there. he was a bit clumsy at times, so the act itself wouldn't have really surprised him, but rather the outcome would've made him flustered. he'd be sheepish and formal in apologizing, letting you it was an accident. would curse at himself once you were out of earshot, embarrassed he landed on your chest of all places.

chan -

a question mark would appear above his head the moment he unglued himself from your chest. how did that even happen? the question wouldn't last long, as he would immediately realize what had just happened and ramble apologies at you. would look a bit terrified, not wanting you to assume he was some type of perv and had done it on purpose.

#seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt fanfic #seventeen #svt x reader #svt #seventeen imagine #seventeen oneshot #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #seventeen reactions #svt reactions

[indieyuugure]

*my headcanon for that recent post was that wasn’t in the script, the turtles really did have to pee and it was so funny they just kept it in lol

seriously, though, HYPED for the final arc. Gonna be DOPE!🤩

OMG YES!!!

Ad-lib Bathroom Brake!

I thought it’d also make sense if the pink wash over the sky and lightning in the background were part of the special effects :]

Link to the original post: Hell on Earth, Part 1

Previous ROTP Movie AU: Behind the Scenes Potty Mouth

I like making these too much🤣

#rise of the parallel #tmnt #q&a #ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #comics #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #actors au #movie au #ad-lib #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #rise of the tmnt #fan comic

[imaginesheaven]

Can we have Tf 141+ Rudy , Alejandro nd Konig react to y/n (Innocent looking) having bookshelves upon bookshelves of smut books? 🤣

(Prolly a bonus funny scene is y/n tried to recite a smut part in front if them and the Cod Men are begging for her to stop 🤣🤣)

(I can read those spicy scenes to everyone with a straight face 🤣)

Thank you, hope u see this.

Oh my god, thank you so much for your request. I had so much fun writing this one! I hope you like it~

I literally can see Ghost staring at you with those annoyed eyes like "are you bloody done?" :D

Warning: Mention of smut books, cursing

Funnily you always run around the base with a book in your hands, but actually none of the soldiers ever paid enough attention what it is about or what the cover looks like. You are definitely not hiding your obsession from anyone.

One evening you all drink beers together after a mission together with KorTac and the Los Vaqueros. Alejandro leans forward in his chair pointing at you suddenly very interested, “Every time we work together you are running around with a book. What are you reading?” A slight smile appears on your lips.

Your time to shine has finally arrived. The conversations around you stop as everyone looks at you. Finally, someone dared to ask you the most interesting question. The silence adds to the mystically atmosphere.

“Oh, my books? I’m reading smut all day long for the last few years”, you explain them like you are talking about the weather. Gaz next to you gasps for a second just to start coughing. He literally inhaled his beer into his lungs.

Soap pats Gaz’s back rather harshly but couldn’t help himself to laugh. Price rubs his temple already mentally done with this conversation. Ghost shows not a single reaction like always. Rudy hides his red face behind his hand.

Alejandro looks at everyone rather confused, “I’m not getting it.” Rudy leans closer to explain him what books you are reading in a whisper yet you are faster than him, “Poor innocent Alejandro, I’m reading literally porn.”

König is so happy to have his hood on, because his face is burning with red cheeks. His thoughts went downhill from your confession. He doesn’t want to imagine you reading those filthy books on your bed all alone. Oh, shit. Oh, shit!

“Ay dios mío!”, Alejandro takes a sip from his drink trying to calm himself down. You turned the tables literally in seconds. None of them has to say it out loud, but you are a breathtaking human being. You reading those books is kind of hot…

“I actually have tons of bookshelves at home with smut books. I call it my little curiosity museum of porn”, you enjoy this situation way too much, “You want to hear a page or two?” A mixed chorus of no and yes can be heard.

With a stoic face you get out your book at the page you left off and start to read. Fortunately, you actually are at a steamy scene, which makes the picture perfect. As you read out how the pair starts licking and biting at each other you sound so nonchalantly like you would read from the daily newspaper.

“Steamin’ Jesus! How many thumbs has this man to add?”, Soap can’t stop his laughter from breaking out. This is the funniest thing he has ever heard. He is literally the only one who has fun. Gaz, Rudy and König stare at the ground with burning faces. They don’t dare to look at someone else in this situation.  

“Please, for God’s sake stop reading. This is hell”, Price looks and feels traumatized for the first time in his life. He actually thought he has experienced everything yet you are sitting there proofing him wrong.

Ghost stands up from his chair without a single word making his way towards you. He closes the book in your hands then throws it through the entire room. “Hey! It isn’t that bad!”, you run after it needing to know what happens during the next few pages.

“I apologize formally to everyone that I asked”, Alejandro raises his hands at the group taking the blame. “You are all peasants who have no sense for pure art”, you reply laughing coming back with your book in your hands. The evening continues without steamy scenes read out loud to your displeasure.

#request #cod imagine #cod mw #cod headcanons #cod x reader #cod #call of duty x reader #call of duty #john price #captain price x reader #kyle garrick #gaz x reader #simon riley #ghost x reader #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #alejandro mw2 #alejandro mw2 x reader #call of duty rodolfo #rodolfo parra #rudy mw2 #rudy x reader #alejandro x reader #alejandro vargas #könig x reader #könig mw2 #könig #friendship headcanons #friendship hcs #gender neutral reader

[drewharrisonwriter]

Donor Part 3

Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Pairings: Bestie Henry Cavill x OFC

A/N, Warnings: 18+, this is part 3 of Donor. English is not my first language. Smut finally ensues! BAHAHAHA THIS IS IT FRENNIES. But please do forgive me if it's not as spicy, this is my first time writing smut in years. It's somehow still a slowburn LMAO Further warnings include: Henry and his breeding kink, first time doing it together (lol), talks of pregnancy and sticky icky future talk.

Special thanks to @summersong69 for all of your help in improving EVERTYHING and @winter2112rose for sharing your suggestions. YOU ARE AMAZING! Thank you for beta-reading this chapter and improving my shaky and unrealistic plot points and smut scene. You guys are heaven-sent! 😭💕

And to everyone who read, liked, commented, and reblogged THANK YOU! SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF YOU!!! I stopped writing for years and I just began writing again a few months ago for fun, I never expected people to actually read and like this lol It was just really to express my sheer deluluness 🤣🤣🤣

I’m AO3, too as MoonDjarin ^_^

Henry’s face shifted. His lips in a tight line. 

“Hank?” You asked, after a long stretch of silence. “You alright?” 

“Yes, I just wanted to ask.” He replied. 

Before you know it, he was pulling into your driveway. He was still unusually silent. 

“Do you want to come in for a coffee?” You offered and he nodded.

“Yes, of course.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes this time. 

—-

However many drinks you had downed at Charlie’s party, it seems that the hazy effects of alcohol that had clouded your head an hour ago have mostly worn off now that you're back home, preparing coffee for both you and Henry.

Placing a mug of coffee on the kitchen island where Henry perched on a bar stool, you briefly turned away to fetch some ice for your own drink. In that moment, he called your name, causing you to pivot back to face him.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he inquired, his hand absentmindedly rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze avoiding direct eye contact. His question prompted laughter from you, and you shook your head in response.

"No, not at all," you replied, a playful chuckle accompanying your words.

Acknowledging your answer with a nod, Henry took a sip from his mug. 

"Why did you ask? Are you trying to set me up with someone?" Your playful eyebrow wiggle only elicited a smirk from him, his attention still inexplicably fixed on a coaster before him, and you suddenly wonder what's so interesting about it. 

“No, I’m just… I’m wondering because you said you don’t want me to be the f–to donate anymore.” 

Oh. 

Oh.

“Well, I’ve thought about it.” you began, your form casually leaning against the kitchen island. “Since you started dating again, it made me realize that I’ve been too selfish by forcing you to donate last time and even offering for you to co-parent. That doesn’t seem fair to you or your future partner either.” 

He knew you would say something like that, and that’s what he was afraid of–you pushing him away once again. Henry, of course, deeply understands your sentiment but it pains him to know that you’re moving forward with this without him. Funny, he thought to himself, he didn’t even want to do it in the first place. You had to beg him and now, it looks like the tables are about to turn. 

You smiled warmly at him, your gaze tender as you placed your hand on top of his.

"You know what this means, right?" he asked, his smile infectious.

"What?"

"Sperm Bank Tinder." Laughter bubbled between you, the shared joke lightening the atmosphere.

"Yes, I suppose that's in my near future again," you chuckled, accompanied by a playful grimace and you groaned at the thought of going through donor profiles again.

"But you," you shifted, standing tall as you moved to take a seat beside him on a bar stool, playfully poking a finger against his chest, "You deserve a family."

His response was immediate – enveloping your finger with his hand, he pressed it over his chest where you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beneath your touch.

"A wife, a marriage, someone to come home to…" Your voice softened, a wistful smile playing on your lips  as you briefly averted your eyes from his intense gaze. You were acutely aware of his yearning for a simple, fulfilling life.

Henry was always open about his dream of retiring in his 40s, of settling down and having a couple of children. The more the better, he used to say. Despite the glitz and glamor of the life he has made for himself over the past two decades, he wanted nothing more than to be a simple and loving family man. 

He just wasn’t a hundred percent honest with you on some other aspects of that dream. 

Finally you meet his blue eyes and notice that they’re glimmering, 

You continued, “Not just a sperm donor for your best friend to father a child you don’t get to hold as often as you want because she’s a selfish, neurotic bitch who thought having a baby with her best friend is the most brilliant and fool-proof idea ever.” 

A soft chuckle left Henry but he pressed his lips tightly, closing his eyes, and tried to even his breathing as a tear rolled down his cheek and he trembled, allowing more tears to fall. 

There was a long silence.

The hundreds of conversations Henry had with you in his head over the years all came flooding in; each scenario unfolding like scenes from a vintage film, casting a dizzying spell that left him feeling weightless, his pulse still racing despite his best efforts to compose himself.

It’s now or never. He tells himself, he has to tell you now. 

“I want all that.” he confessed, and you nodded in understanding, knowing so well that he deserves to have that life, a life that, really deep down, you wish he could spend with you. But you also know so well that diving into a relationship as deep as that with him would always have the possibility of eventually ending.

That terrifies you. 

Which made the thought of solo parenting sound really good to you in the first place and the main reason that you’re always giving Henry an out. Of all the things and people you could bear to lose in your life, the possibility of one of those being Henry is something that you deeply fear. 

You and Henry have loved each other in many ways over the years, but you know he won’t love you as more than his best friend, as more than an honorary family member. You even convinced yourself that it would be wrong and settled on being content that all you ever will be are lifelong friends. Who, at one point, have thought of co-parenting a child that will be loved and cherished no less, regardless of the unconventional methods and relationships they will be blooming from. 

You could be happy with that. 

Henry rises from his seat, his gaze fixated on you, his hand still cradling yours against his chest. His lips part, words poised on the edge of his tongue, yet they retreat as if searching for the right way to escape, and you can see his gears turning. 

He took a deep breath, and finally admitted what he wanted to tell you for years: “I want to do all of that with you… if you would let me.” 

Suddenly, you feel your fears growing stronger. You thought they’d ebb away once you heard him finally say that, but somehow it only made the ugly, gnawing fear stronger.

“Hank…”

“No, darling. Listen to me, please.” he implored, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of his lips, though beneath it lay a current of nervous anticipation. “Because it’s going to kill me if I don’t say it out loud now…” His chuckle held a touch of vulnerability, a mask slipping to reveal the raw edges of his emotions.

You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry. 

This was the moment you had always been wary of having with Henry, the juncture where your deep-rooted fears collided with your undeniable affection for him. You could feel your heart racing, its rhythm matching the chaotic thoughts in your head.

You looked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. His blue eyes bore into yours, filled with a mixture of hope and vulnerability that you hadn't seen before. You could sense the weight of his words even before he spoke them.

"I've loved you for years, Y/N," he confessed, his voice trembling ever so slightly. 

"Not just as a friend, but as something more. And–Christ! I-I've been a coward, too afraid to risk our friendship, too afraid of what it might do to us."

Your breath caught in your throat, and you felt a rush of emotions swirling within you. The truth hung in the air between you, and you realized that the fear you'd been grappling with was mirrored in his eyes. 

"I've watched you go through relationships, seen you deeply in love with other people, and it's always torn me apart," he confessed, his fingers entwined with yours, his touch growing firmer, as if seeking solace in your connection. "I've wrestled with my own heart, tried to act normal, thought of finding my own path to happiness that isn’t with you…to be content with being your friend…” he exhaled deeply.

“I’ve even convinced myself that I’m okay with just being your turkey baster baby’s donor.” he managed to interject with a playful glint. A chuckle rippled between you, but then his expression shifted, his tone turning earnest once more. “But I always keep on wanting more and more. It's become unbearable, darling. And the truth is…” 

Tears welled up in your eyes, your emotions threatening to overflow. You never imagined that he felt this way, that your connection ran so deep for him too.

"Hank, I..." you started, but he gently pulled your hand closer to his chest.

"Let me finish, please," he whispered, a trace of a smile tugging at his lips again, but his voice quivered. "I want to be that person you come home to. I want to build a life together, not just as someone who could help you out with having a child in the most ridiculous way,” He chuckled once more, and you joined in, appreciating his effort to instill a bit of levity into the conversation.

“I don’t just want to be old Uncle Hank.” He continued. “I want you, darling…I want the children you want. I want to wake up beside you every morning and hold you every night…"

“Even if it means that you and Kal will have to live with me and my cats?” You teased, a playful glint in your eyes, and you both shared a genuine laughter.

“Even if we have to live with you and your cats.” He reassured you. 

His words hung in the air, a fragile bridge between what was and what could be. You gazed into his eyes, feeling the depth of his emotions washing over you.

"But I understand if you don't feel the same way," he added, his voice softer now, tinged with a hint of resignation. "I…I know that this might change everything, and I don't want to lose you, but I also want you to know..."

As he spoke, you felt the weight of your own fears, the echoes of his confession resonating within you. The prospect of losing him was a terrifying thought, but so was the idea of risking your friendship for something more.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions inside you. 

"Hank, you've been my rock, my confidant, and my closest friend for so long," you began, your voice trembling like his had been. "And the idea of us being together... it's something I've thought about too, something I've wanted deep down for a really long time. But I've also been so afraid, afraid of what it could mean for us… What if things didn't work out?"

He nodded with his eyes closed, trying to will his tears back. 

You looked down at your intertwined hands, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. The fear of losing him battled with the desire for something more, something that had always lingered beneath the surface of your friendship.

"You mean so much to me, Hank. And I can't imagine my life without you." He nodded in understanding, his thumb caressing the back of your hand as he listened intently.

"Of all the risks and challenges we could take in this life, don’t you think this is worth a shot?" He asked. "Darling, please… let’s try.” he continued, his voice soft but filled with conviction.

A small smile tugged at your lips as you let that thought sit some more in your head. 

"Alright..." You whispered. 

"What?"

"Alright, maybe we can try." 

For a moment, the room was filled with a shared understanding, a mutual acknowledgment of the risks and rewards that lay ahead. The unspoken promise hung in the air – that you were willing to take this leap of faith together.

Henry leaned in, his lips brushing against your forehead in a tender, lingering kiss. It was a promise, a concession to the emotions that had been simmering between you for years. 

As he pulled back, his gaze met yours, and you could see the genuine affection in his eyes.

"No matter where this leads us, I want you in my life, Y/N."

You nodded, your heart swelling with a mixture of emotions – hope, fear, and an overwhelming sense of connection. 

You wrapped your hands around his neck, standing up from the stool where you were sitting, nuzzling your nose on his jaw and planting a soft kiss on the side of his mouth. It might have been the alcohol making your decisions for you, or perhaps it was the tension that had been building between you two for more than a decade. But at that moment, none of it mattered. 

Henry's breath caught as your lips brushed against his skin. The sensation sent a shiver down his spine, igniting a warmth that spread through his chest and down between his legs. He hesitated for a moment, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, before he lifted his hand to gently cup your cheek.

His touch was tender, almost tentative, as if he was afraid that this fragile moment could shatter if he wasn't careful. Your eyes locked onto his, "I've waited so long for this," he whispered, his voice husky.

“Shut up, we’ve kissed before.” You whispered back with a smile, remembering that you shared a few on-screen kisses in your music videos in the past. 

“Not like this…” He leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a feather-light caress. The kiss was sweet and tentative, as if he was testing the waters before fully diving in.Very different from the ones you’ve previously shared, where he was more confident in the rehearsed way your lips crashed. 

You found yourself responding instinctively, your hand sliding up his chest and curling around his neck. The kiss deepened, becoming more intense as the pent-up emotions began to flow between you.

The kitchen around you seemed to fade away as you lost yourself in the sensation of his lips moving against yours, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer. It was a mix of familiarity and newness, as if you were discovering a whole new side of your best friend of nearly 20 years.

Finally breaking the kiss, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath ragged. "If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop now," he breathed, his eyes locked onto yours.

"Don’t stop. Take what you want," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. Henry’s breath hitched and he bit his lip, preventing a smile from fully showing, his dimples so deep; he looked up with his eyes closed tight and exclaimed, “Thank fuck!” 

You giggled a bit and found an opportunity to plant small kisses on his throat and he groaned. The intensity of the moment was overwhelming, and you both knew where this was going and you allowed yourselves to succumb to it. 

Henry wasted no time in yanking the zipper off your dress from the back, slipping it off your shoulders, revealing your laced covered tits heaving heavily. He groaned at the sight of you, his grip on your waist tightened as you snapped off the lace bra from the front, fully exposing your top half to him.

He wasted no time and instantly latched onto one breast. You bite your lower lip to keep a moan from coming out, a hand steadying yourself onto his bicep and the other running through the hair at the back of his head.

He kissed his way back up, nipping lightly at your jaw and moving behind your ear which sent you moaning for more. He pulled away slowly and led you to the bedroom down the hall and gently pushed you down on the bed, settling your head on the pillows while he quickly unbuttoned his dress shirt and you shimmied yourself out of your dress and your underwear on the bed.

“Darling wait,” Henry said before he could pull his trousers down.

“What?” 

“I, uh… I didn’t bring a condom,” he admitted, his expression serious, brows furrowed, his thoughts lost in the heat of the moment.

“For fuck’s sakes, Hank.” you burst into laughter. Drawing him close, you planted a gentle kiss on his lips, your voice tender. “After the turkey baster situation, I think we’re way past worrying about not using a condom."

He joined in your laughter, eyes squeezed shut, his teeth catching his lower lip in amusement. 

“Right…” he smiled, a blush bloomed from his neck that went up and spread across his cheeks. He went on to fully remove his trousers and joined you in bed. 

“I’m clean, if that’s what you’re worried ab—“

“Oh I know… no, that’s not what—I’m clean too.” He confirmed and you nodded in reply.

His body pressed gently against yours, the thin barrier of his boxers the only separation. He leaned back down murmured against your jaw, his voice close, "Are you truly ready to start trying?" 

Meeting his gaze as you pulled back slightly, you responded, "If you are..."

“I am,” He whispered in between kisses. “Nothing I want more, darling. No matter how many times more, no matter how many children you want…” You whimpered at his statement and you saw a shift in his eyes, something darker.

The sensation of his kisses was intoxicating, prompting your legs to part instinctively as you slid his boxers down with a gentle urgency. He reached back down between you, teasingly tracing your now drenched seam. A primal groan escaped his lips, a raw expression of the arousal that surged between you.

"God," he rasped, his voice laced with need, his eyes darkened with desire. His fingers trailed down your inner thigh, grazing your slick folds, before he pulled them back, coated with your arousal. "All for me, darling?" Your heart raced as you bit your lower lip, nodding in fervent agreement.

He leaned back, his gaze searing into yours before he began to pump his thick length a few times. He then notched the blunt tip to your now soaking entrance, his eyes locked onto yours, seeking permission in the intensity of the moment. He had you pinned beneath him, knees pressed to your chest.

He eased into you slowly, taking his time, groaning deeply at the sensation. You lifted your hips slightly, your breath catching once you felt him inside you. The stretch of him filling you was just what you needed.

“Fuck, darling… so tight.” 

You moaned as he slowly inched in, your eyes rolling back in pleasure at the stretch. You were aware that he's big, you just never anticipated it was this much, nor did you think you would ever have to worry about it until now. 

Once he was buried to the hilt you knew you’d never been penetrated so deeply, his cock reaching an undiscovered place in you. He gave you a moment to get used to his size and the position he had you in. 

You arched your back and moaned loudly, no longer holding back as he bottomed out and began moving in and out of you in long, slow, delicious strokes.

You tilted your head back in response to his motions, a soft gasp escaping your lips as you basked in the feel of him. The brush of his lips against your throat was followed by a restrained groan of pleasure that echoed in the air.

"I've wanted you this entire fucking time," he breathed, his voice laced with a mixture of tenderness and desire, as he hovered over you, his lips tracing a path across your face. 

“Wanted to give you a baby…make you mine. Let the entire world know about it…” 

“I want to have your baby, Hank. Fuck a baby into me…” The weight of your words sent Henry growling and spiraling into a different realm. His grip on you intensified, he adjusted his angle. 

He looked you in the eyes and asked “Is it okay if I pick up the pace, darling?” You nodded in reply and he began jackhammering into you, eliciting a slight yelp in surprise as he hit a spot in you over and over again that made your toes curl and the coil in your lower abdomen intensify drawing you closer and closer to your orgasm with each thrust. 

“Fuck, Hank! I–I’m so close…” You whimpered, walls clamping on his thick cock as you near your release. 

“I know, darling…I got you, I got you…” He cooed. 

The sloppy sounds of him taking you belonged in a pornographic film. Years of built up tension between the two of you and the events of the evening finally came to a head when he fucked you into the mattress and all you could do was reach up and grab his neck as he utterly destroyed you for any other guy and your bed began to bang against the wall loudly. 

Both of you had dissolved into garbled praising of one another, drunk off the intensity of your coupling. You were cock drunk; there was no other way to explain it. The only thing that registered in your brain was the point at when your two bodies collided. 

"Fuck, darling... I don't know if I can last much longer." His brow furrowed and his body tense above you told you he was close. 

One of his hands reached down between you to begin rubbing your clit enthusiastically while his other gripped a fist full of your hair. 

You tipped your head back, sinking more into the pillow, exposing your neck to his hungry mouth. He didn’t hesitate to bite down on your neck as his hips thrusted up into you.

You came–hard, eyes tightly closed and lips parted in a small o; cumming and clenching around him while he continued working you through your climax; groaning at the feeling of you practically milking him. 

“Cum for me, Hank. Give me a baby...” you whimpered, your body curling in on itself as he continued thrusting into you. 

“Shit,” Henry groaned before you felt him release into you; a string of curses and praises sputtered as he did. 

Henry pressed his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath. He stayed inside you for a few more minutes, the two of you just basking in the intimacy. 

A soft smile curved his lips, "I love you," he whispered.

Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Tag list:

@jyessaminereads @summersong69 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetandgentlecreature @kingliam2019 @leaveitbythewave @mrsevans90 @evansabove1981 @bascmve01 @shellyshellshell @iamsana @foxyjwls007 @one-sweet-gubler @henryownsme

#Henry Cavill #henry cavill fic #henry cavill x #henry cavill smut #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fluff #henry cavill x female reader #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x pregnant reader #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x wife!reader #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill x you #henry cavill characters #Henry Cavill fics

[faeryarchives]

when your hopeless streamer gets a girlfriend (ace trappola x f!reader)

summary: the rising streamer ace trappola has always been teased by his friends and fans about his failed relationships - that is until one certain stream where each and everyone of them were proven wrong.

note: ok i had this idea at 1 in the morning i was like 'hmmm what if we make a streamer series for twst?' and its just full of fluff and crack like no magic au + everyone is just normal

recent fics: happy birthday (malleus x reader) & so what are we? & in sickness and in health

it was around saturday midnight when everyone should be asleep, but ace trappola decided it was a good time to stream a horror game out of all possible games he could play with his friends. they all started as friends before starting the game but i fear he might have none after the stream.

"crabby, where are you~?" the sound of floyd humming through the mic sent shivers down the boy's back as he tried hiding from the hunter. "it's so funny to see floyd just have this tunnel vision to kill ace." jamil's smooth voice rang out, obviously amuse how the scene was unfolding. 

"oh flooooyd! ace is hiding in the house with the telephone!"

"i hate all of you, after this game i am blocking everyone!" seeing him become the victim in the game and everyone turning on against him, his fans flood the live stream chat with laughing emojis and 'take the l'.

"ace, become a good bait while we fix the car." he heard ruggie and deuce laugh at his misery before their characters ran opposite his direction.

"okay who is the one that said floyd should be the hunter this round? hey, hey, hey! stop chasing after me- am i the only player in this game?! epel is right here!" in an act of desperation, ace tried to hide behind epel's character instead but only to receive massive damage when the attack hit him instead.

"eh... but guppy-chan isn't even trying to run away, which is boring!"

"wait, really?" he then stopped running. ace turned to face the hunter's character, trying to see if floyd would actually kill him, only to notice something wrong a little too late. "heh, gotcha,"  ace screamed into his mic, watching his character gets stuck in the tree and meet his demise as floyd split him into half literally. the words 'you died' appeared on the streamer's screen. 

gloomurai: wow you are so great in this game 🤣

"i see you idia-senpai! it's not my fault they all turned against me!"

wani-sama🔧: it's your karma for selling them out to ruggie last game

"yeah, yeah... well, i'm always the last one to get caught, so this can be pretty relaxing." the streamer smirked as he watched from deuce's point of view where he is currently lost in the woods. 

"i get to watch them die but knowing floyd he might quit mid-game." to used to being the first one out, ace sighed, switching from one point of view to another. bored ou of his mind, he looked at the corner of his screen, ace looked at the comments curiously as they try suggesting things.

muscle-red: why don't you do a q and a while waiting then?

"question and answer? don't you guys basically know me already?" ace looked at the screen intently, contemplating whether he should do it.

"fucking viper i swear!" suddenly someone joined the call causing ace to jump in surprised, only to realize it was ruggie. 

"how did you die?"

"jamil betrayed me because we thought it was a four-seater car. it turns out it was only two!" hearing this, ace turned to jamil's point of view and snickered about how he and epel got chased by the sneaky eel. "welcome to the dead club."

as if he could imagine his senior rolling his eyes at his words, he smirked smugly - karma does bite back hard. "hardy har... what were you doing? i heard something about a question and answer?"

"chat wants me to have another q and a portion, what more do i have to tell you guys?"

cowabunga: how is the search for your beloved mwishxr: there is no use in asking that 

"search for my beloved? hey!"

"shishishi! even your viewers are against you!"

it's a running joke in ace's community on how he was immediately dump by his ex girlfriend one week after dating. it wasn't like he wanted to share the story - he shared it as a batsu game after losing a round of uno. usually, when asked about his search for a girlfriend, ace would get all red and try to defend himself from the single until he became old allegations.

but today was surprising because not only did he not become all flustered and defensive - ace trappola looked smug even as he leaned his head into his palm and laughed.

"hmm, i wonder about that?" from behind, ace could hear approaching footsteps stopping next to him, and the live stream chat went wild and even ruggie who was looking at ace's stream right now watched with wide eyes as someone who was wearing the streamer's well-known sweater stood beside him.

"what the fuck?!"

gloomurai: ?!?!? muscle-red: what is with the sudden plot twist wani-sama🔧: WAIT wani-sama🔧: IS THAT-?!

"heya (nickname)~" ace hummed, turning his gaming chair facing your direction, his arms wrapping themselves around your waist as he grinned at you ever so cheekily. "you're late!"

"what are you five? i don't even know why you want me to come over." you rolled your eyes, trying to push him away playfully, only to run your fingers through his hair and chuckle.

seeing him lazily smiling at you causes you to succumb to your urge to pinch his cheeks - hard, making ace cry out in pain. before you could even ask another question, you saw something flash at the corner of your eye causing you to look at his monitor - realizing that he is still streaming. while holding onto you. and he not even on mute!

"this is all your plan, wasn't..." holding his face in your hands, ace could only laugh and nod, his hand quickly pulling you down, making you sit on his lap as he proudly present you to everyone. "as you can see, i am not hopeless anymore!"

wani-sama🔧: WHAT ARE YOU DOING SIS?!

"how is it possible i could hear sebek through the screen..." you sigh, leaning your back on ace and waved at the camera so casually as if the chat and ruggie weren't surprised at all.

"i just want to say to chat that ace didn't have my family in hostage." with you hand wrapped around his, you put up up and showed it to the camera. "and he is stuck with me."

hearing at just what you said made everyone in the chat go insane erupting into numerous emoji and something with the lines of 'oh my god he is not lying!' or just exclamation but nothing beats the reaction of your friends.

"(name) you settled for a guy like him?!" you could hear ruggie's surprised voice through your boyfriend's headset and honestly, you were contemplating if you would agree or just laugh it off.

"what can i say? sometimes, idiots have their charms."

jamil-viper: i can't believe you got (name) of all people... deuce-spade: oh thank god i don't have to keep it a secret anymore. wani-sama🔧: YOU KNEW?! epel-felmier: i think that's the effect of not our gc !!

the stream goes on with ace finally having his bragging rights and the twitter stans going crazy about the sudden girlfriend reveal. oh well, karma does hit back hard doesn't it?

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twst imagines #twisted wonderland scenarios #ace trappola x reader #ace trappola #twst ace #faeryarchives #a.heartslabyul

[yandere-wishes]

GIRL I LAUGHED AT WORK WHEN I SAW THAT YANDERE PAUL X READER X YANDERE FYED- RUATHA THING 😭😭😭 nah if you wrote it I’d literally bust out laughing CUZ IMAGINE A DRUGGED UP SPICED OUT WHITE BOY WHO SEES THE FUTURE WITH A HORNY ASS BALD MAN AND THEY CHASE YOU… LIKE LITERALLY. It’s such a funny picture in my mind

I literally fell over laughing at this!!! NO CAUSE IT IS SO TRUE!! NOW I HAVE TO INCLUDE A CHASE SCENE TOO. 🤣🤣

I plan to see Dune part 2 with my friends when I go back to Canada so…Stay tuned!! There's going to be a lot of posts for this drugged white boy and bald horny tattoed dude.

Side note If anyone wants to send in ideas for the Paul x reader x Feyd, please do!!

#dune #dune part 2 #dune movie #paul atreides #feyd rautha #paul atreides x reader #feyd x reader #feyd rautha x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yancore #yandere x you #yandere aesthetic #genie answers #anon asks

[jamneuromain]

Hii!!! I just read A Whiff of Blood and it was amazing!!! Omg its been a while since I read Lloyd being caring without having another motive. This is pure goodness 😍

I was wondering if there could be a scene where y/n asks to leave work early bc she has a date. Lloyd says fine but ends up at the same restaurant as her with Danny to spy🤣 and y/n saw them and this will be the first time she yells at her boss. how would the boss react? falling for her even more or trying to save his dignity and ego 😎

Hi babe! So sorry that this one-shot is taking forever to come out (and I've made a little adjustment to it :3 hope you don't mind

A Rush of Blood

Lloyd Hansen x You

Warning: Mob AU, Mob!Lloyd, Secretary!Reader, Lloyd is being a (surprisingly) softie(?

Summary: You asked whether you could leave early for a date, while Lloyd decided not to keep his feelings bottled up any more.

W/C: ~4.5k

A/N: This is the final sequel to A Whiff of Blood, Thank you for all your love for Mob!Lloyd<333

Lloyd can’t help but look at your empty seat for the fifth time in a row. The boring-ass meeting for the quarterly revenue of his properties drags on, yet you haven’t returned for a while now.

Lloyd checks his watch.

It’s been fucking two minutes and forty-two seconds since you excused yourself with your phone buzzing in hand.

The ticking watch gets him more annoyed and impatient by the second. Two minutes and forty-four seconds, two minutes and forty-five seconds, two minutes and forty-six - where the heck are you?

You pick up the call as soon as you reach your desk, “Allie?”

“Hey hon. Bad news, I’m stuck at the airport. There has been a huge blizzard here in Alaska and all flights are banned from taking off.” Allie remains her chirpy sound, but a hit of restraint peeks from her words.

Allie has been your friend since high school. You’ve bonded over the mutual love of boy bands during your teen years. Though you have moved on from your love of pop singers/bands, Allie maintains her enthusiasm for K-pop idols.

“I’m in the middle of a conference, so, sorry about making this short,” you sigh, “I assume they can’t get any plane in or out for today?”

You scheduled for fine dining with Allie at one of Lloyd’s restaurants later this evening. At this rate, you are no longer surprised if he owns the Hollywood landmark too.

“Not in this damn weather, no.” She curses under her breath, “Not for three days as far as I’m aware.”

“Jesus.” You rub your temple as it is throbbing, “Sorry about the weather. I’ll reschedule the dinner.”

“No… don’t be.” Her hesitation on the phone sounds slightly suspicious.

“Allie?” You raise your voice dangerously, “What did you do?”

“Don’t be mad,” she holds a pregnant pause, “I’ve got this really cute boy – he’s a year behind us, by the way – and he’s working now in LA, Scott McCall – that’s double C in McCall, and I planned to introduce you two during dinner.”

“The fu- Allie!” You whisper-yell in the phone, “You’re gonna dump me and let me have dinner with a completely random person?”

Allie squeezes a few dry laughs over the speaker, “Eh- Sorry?”

“You better pray there’s no plane in three days because I’m going to crawl through the phone lines and strangle you if I have the chance.” You sputter a curse, “And burn all your K-pop albums.”

She gasps, “NOT THE ALBUMS!”

Typical Allie.

“Seriously though, you had the chance of meeting him two months ago... at an exhibition. The gallery downtown near the bakery? The Retro-modern Exhibition? The one you left early? It took him a lot of strength to get to me and then to you, so … just try, okay? If it doesn’t work out, it’s fine.” Allie sounds unlike her usual self, “If it works out … I guess you’d have a great story to tell your kids.” She can’t help but joke at the end.

“Yeah yeah, ha-ha, very funny.” With a sigh, you agree to her match-making plan, “Fine. But I really have to go back to work now, ‘kay?” You roll your eyes instinctively when the other end of the phone passes a squeaky “yes” to your ears, “I’ll be there on time. Dinner, six thirty, he’d better not be late.”

“You’re my life-saver. Mwah! Love ya’ bye!” After blowing a kiss via mid-air, Allie hangs up the phone as if fearing you will regret your decision in less than a second.

You end the call at the same moment the door to the conference room swings open, and out came a few executives for his real estate.

“Sorry, Mr. Hansen,” you put your phone into your pocket, straightening your shirt because you have been leaning on your desk. You know how much Lloyd hates disturbance, and creases on a shirt.

Lloyd purses his lips with a frown, an expression he wears often to indicate he’s not happy.

“If it’s okay for you, Mr. Hansen, I’d like to leave early today.” You request rather boldly.

For three years of your work as a secretary, the only other time you left early was a medical emergency of your mother. She fell down the stairs, hit her head, and had a broken femur. Though it wasn’t much of a big deal when she was transferred to a ward later, it scared the hell out of you to take the call from the local hospital, telling you your mother was sent to the ER in an ambulance.

Lloyd was generous enough to grant you a week of leave, but you got back on Day 5 after making sure your mother was well and taken care of.

“Is your family alright?” He asks, clearly still remembering the last time when you got kidnapped on the street, for which he had to assign Claire – a bright young lady, whom you’ve grown fond of over these past weeks – to act as your bodyguard and occasionally your assistant. Under Lloyd’s orders, she went to oversee the security cam installation at your apartment door.

“They are fine.” You suppose it’s better to tell him the truth regarding your leave, rather than having him meet you in his restaurant a few hours later, “I uh… have a date tonight.”

“A date?” He raises his eyebrows, repeating syllable by syllable, “A date, you say?”

“Yes, a date.” It feels like a betrayal all of a sudden, a betrayal of your work ethic. Your throat tightens, “Ahem, I’ll be leaving at five, if that’s alright with you, Mr. Hansen.”

Lloyd studies you for a moment.

“Okay.” He shrugs, sounding carelessly, “If you finish the work for today.”

You are pretty sure that there’s no more itinerary for either Hansen or you after this meeting, but you still play your role as a dutiful secretary and ask, “Anything else you would like me to do?”

“Call James and tell him to pick up the loan I gave out to the Dawson scum, five mil’ in cash or non-bearer bonds. If Dawson returns even one dime short, I want his arm broken. And deliver the drycleaning to my place by five tonight. Tell my butler, while you’re at it, he can hold off the repair down at the basement, this can wait till January. And,” he pauses, “I want you to tell Dani, head to her place personally, and tell her that I’m cancelling the Cuban appointment.”

“Yes, Mr. Hansen.” You pick up the landline straight away, ready to dial James’ number.

“You are not taking any notes whatsoever.” Lloyd narrows his eyes, “What are the tasks I just gave you?”

Lloyd seems extra grumpy today, plus you are not a note-taker anyway. You cover the speaker with your palm, though puzzled as to why he’s moody all of a sudden, but comply with his demands, “Call James, collect the debt from Dawson; get the drycleaning to your house by five, and tell your butler Marlin not to rush on the basement repair; and lastly, tell Dani you’re cancelling the Cuban appointment.” And you have no clue what this “Cuban” appointment is. Darn, Lloyd does keep a whole lot of secrets from you, “Anything else, Mr. Hansen?”

Fuck.

He sounds like fucking Cinderella’s stepmom dumping beans into the fireplace. Since when did he get off on ordering you around doing meaningless chores? He could perfectly do them himself, not to mention some of the biddings he has just told you were unnecessary – the basement repair? It was a damn doorknob getting stuck, not a pipeline that leaks like a faucet.

“Claire’s not here, take Avik with you.” He grumbles, returning to his office and slamming the door shut.

Avik is a silent, tanned man who often acts as Lloyd’s muscle. He emerges from thin air – or probably from some corner, standing rigidly behind you like a statue.

“Hey Avik, mind if I drive?” You put a warm smile on your face, swinging the car key on your finger.

Avik merely nods, gesturing that he’ll walk in front of you.

After picking up Lloyd’s drycleaning and telling Marlin the exact words from Lloyd's mouth, you head off to your next assignment.

Dani.

Dani is a woman approximately your age, speaks fluent Spanish, English, and Italian, probably a couple of other languages that you couldn’t understand too, and rumored to be Lloyd’s ex.

She is a charming lady living in a mansion away from the glamourous nightlife of LA, but not shy of parties. In fact, you’ve accompanied Lloyd to a few that she hosts, and if you ever need a party planner, she would be your No. 1 choice – if you can afford it.

You tap on the steering wheel somewhat anxiously, checking your watch. It’s five to six, and Dani’s residence is halfway across the city, and you have yet to finish the job that Lloyd told you to.

It feels like double standards when you explicitly told Allie that your date cannot be late.

Dani’s lovely butler, Mrs. Santos invited you in, leading you to the guest room.

“To what do I own this honor of having Lloyd’s personal assistant arriving at my place?” Dani flips her hair and giggles.

“Lloyd has sent me to tell you that,” you still remember the strange code phrase word by word, “He’s cancelling the Cuban appointment.”

Dani carefully studies you for a moment, before bursting out laughter, “He… He said that? The Cuban appointment?”

Darn, even when she’s laughing, she’s charming as always.

“Yes.” You answer her question, “If there’s no message you want me to forward to him, I’ll be out of your hair.”

Dani hangs a mysterious smile on the corner of her lips, her honey-toned skin practically gleaming as she speaks, “None. But if you don’t mind me asking, do you have any plans for tonight? I want to borrow you for one of my parties – you know,” she shrugs, “connections and all that.”

Dani’s parties are always filled with delightful cocktails and exquisite people she knows from all over the world. It’s a perfect chance to refresh your connections with all sorts of people – thieves, CEOs, fences, politicians - part of the reason why she asked you to stay.

Yet, you were already booked for tonight.

“Sorry,” you politely rejected, “I’d love to, but I have a date tonight.”

“Well, you-” Dani points at you with her perfectly manicured finger, sounding cheerful, “are welcome at my place, anytime. You can bring your date here even, if you need a place to chill.”

“Thank you, Dani.” You respond, “Have fun at your party.”

Dani cocks her head to the side. The bright flashy diamond earrings peek from under her hair, swaying as if they were about to fall. She hums thoughtfully before wishing you a pleasant evening.

As soon as you step out of her estate, Dani picks up her phone and dials Lloyd’s number, “I recall a certain someone claims that he needs absolutely no help landing a girl,” She twirls her hair around her fingertips, chuckling, “the Cuban appointment, Lloyd? Wow, you must be really desperate. Now, you want me to help you sabotage her date? That I can do...”

With Lady Luck by your side, you’ve successfully reached the restaurant five minutes early with someone already at your table, while Avik sits at a table on the other side of the aisle, keeping an eye on you.

“You must be Scott.” You pull your chair to sit, trying your best to ignore the bulk of muscles on your righthand-side, watching as the young man across the table hastily puts down his water glass and stands abruptly with his face flushed.

“H… Hi.” He can barely stop the grin on his face, “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Allie is right. He is cute.

Scott scratches the back of his head, plopping down on his seat, asking hesitantly, “If this is not too intrusive, how did you get a reservation? My friend has been dying to try this place for a week and the nearest spot available is three months later.”

“My boss is a close friend of the restaurant manager.” Lloyd practically runs this place. The manager gets scared shitless every time he needs to deliver the quarterly books to Lloyd and he asks you to do it in his place. Hence, he’s greatly in your debt. But you are not going to tell Scott you work for the largest gang in the city, so you feign your interest and ask, “What about you? Allie didn’t tell me what you do for a living.”

His face goes flushed pink again, “I uh… I work as an assistant curator,” he adds, “but I paint.”

“Oh really? That sounds fun. What do you paint?”

Scott chats on and on about his love for contemporary art and various ways of making a beautiful moment permanent when you notice Avik stands up and leaves.

“… sorry,” you apologize to Scott, for you have missed the question he asks, having paid too much attention to the bodyguard Avik who doesn’t seem like returning, “what was that again?”

Scott shuts his mouth momentarily before managing a small smile, “I was just thinking that we should get the waiter. Is there anything you like on the menu?”

The food was divine, and the wine was savory too. Though the waiters seemed a little distracted – you guessed it was probably their boss telling them to stay away from your table for you to enjoy your date. After exchanging pleasant conversations, you know it’s time to end this lovely date.

Before getting the check and leaving, you excuse yourself to freshen up.

Scott nods with his curls bouncing.

Scott is nice.

He is smart, funny, and cute with his untamed curls.

You put on a thin layer of lipstick. Looking into the mirror, the polite smile breaks away when you watch your reflection.

Scott is a decent guy. Why don’t you like him?

A vague outline rises in your head, before evaporating.

Stop it. You tell yourself. Scott is a nice guy. You should enjoy this date.

Only when your figure disappears behind a few tables, did someone sit on your spot.

“Evening.” A moustache man traces his finger on the cup from which you drank, crossing his legs, “Scotty, right?”

Scott clenches his hand on the arm of his chair, but Avik appears quietly behind him, grabbing his shoulders to have him sit down. A hard piece of metal is pressed to the back of his head. It doesn’t take much common sense to understand that Avik has a gun pointing at him.

“Don’t get all flustered,” Lloyd pours some wine into both glasses, “I’m just here to… be nice.” A wicked grin creeps up his lips as Lloyd continues, “The woman who you’re dating tonight?”

Scott gulps, squeezing a “yeah” out of his teeth.

“That’s my girl.” Lloyd dead-pans, massaging the light smudge of your lipstick on the glass, “So, if you have any wrong idea, or any thoughts about her…” Lloyd has a cold gleam in his eyes, shakes his head and tuts, “Don’t.”

Poor Scott has his face drained of colors. His lips quivering, “I-I’m not- I don’t want to be part of this…”

“Good.” Lloyd smirks. Drinking from your glass, he licks his lips to savour the sweet honey taste of your lipstick, before giving his final order, “Now be a good boy, say your ‘nighty night’s, and get the fuck out of my turf.”

“Boss.” Avik’s eyes dart to the lavatory, signalling that you are approaching this table.

“Aaaand that’s my cue.” Lloyd stands up from the chair, looking content, “Keep this little interaction between us, will ya’?” He pouts, “I’d hate if she gets upset.”

By the time you reach this table, Scott sweats in buckets like he has just been to a sauna.

“Is everything alright?” You can’t help but ask.

“Yeah… yeah.” Scott could barely mask his trembling voice, or keep his eye contact, “I’m … feeling uncomfortable… right now.”

“Is it the food? Do you need to go to the bathroom?”

“No… I mean, I think so. The asparagus was raw.” Scott wipes the sweat off his pale face, “It’s been lovely, but …”

Your eyes dart to the table where Avik was sitting. Nope, he isn’t there. For a second you thought that Avik might have terrorized Scott into backing out. Such a stupid idea, why would Avik do that? You throw this thought to the back of your head, before suggesting if Scott needs a lift home, or to the hospital.

Scott nearly jumps from his spot upon hearing the offer, which confuses you as he avoids speaking or looking at you, as if you were a plague.

He takes his belongings, bids you good night before sprinting out of the restaurant.

What the fuck have you done???

You trouble yourself with the question when Avik returns to your side without a single sound, “Avik, I was wondering where you’ve been.”

“The backroom where I can observe the surveillance footage, ma’am.” His voice booms, “Shall I drive you home?”

“Yes, I suppose.” You sigh.

Avik gestures for you to walk, but you stop in your tracks.

“Avik?”

“Yes, Ma’am?”

“Did you have any food yet?”

You did not see him ordering anything when he was sitting across the aisle, nor do you believe that he’d risk losing his job over some half-cooked asparagus.

“… No Ma’am.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose. The exhaustion of trying to satisfy Lloyd’s tasks and doubting whether he’s being paranoid again takes over you for so long, you seem to lose a little bit of human emotions – neglecting dutiful Avik, as a result.

“Sorry about that, Avik.” You apologize, feeling slightly better that you’ve come to your senses after a long day, “I’ll have them prepare something vegan for takeaway.”

“…thank you, Ma’am.”

Grabbing a waiter passing by, you tell him about your request, before resting on your chair.

Out of sheer boredom, you tap on your glass, scraping the lipstick smudge off the crystal-clear surface with a used napkin.

Avik coughs as if he has just choked on his own spit.

“Everything alright, Avik?”

It seems like you’ve said this for the second time tonight.

“Yes. Ahem. Yes, all is well.” Avik clears his throat uncomfortably.

“Because you can totally have tonight off. I’m more than capable of driving home myself.” You offer sweetly, expecting him to take the suggestion and leave you here.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” Avik replies rigidly, his shirt collar tightening around his tanned skin as he speaks, “Thank you, but your safety is my priority.”

You should have known better than to negotiate with Lloyd’s muscle. They follow his orders like workers around a queen bee. Pursing your lips together, you decide not to spend time bargaining with Avik, but scroll on social media to distract yourself.

Avik lets out a long, slow exhale when you are focusing on your phone. He’s great at bodyguarding, but terrible at being a double agent.

The takeaway package arrives shortly – or it could be you are too tied up in the TikTok drama to notice time slipping away from the tip of your fingers. Avik takes the wheel while you sit in the back, trying hard not to think about the sudden change in Scott’s attitude.

It’s not like you don’t enjoy Scott’s company. You do. But Scott’s dashing out of the restaurant leaves a certain impression that you don’t think you’d forget anytime soon. Maybe the food was raw. Or burned. Or he had some pills. Still, it doesn’t explain why he ran out of the place like a bloodhound was chasing him.

Or is there something wrong with you? Something he’d grow repulsive of?

“Stop the car, please.” The thoughts in your head are preventing you from breathing. With Avik’s puzzled frown in the rearview mirror, you shrug, “You can go park the car. I want to have a little walk and some fresh air.”

After what must be an internal debate in Avik’s silence, he slowly stops at the curb, agreeing for you to have your fresh air.

The street is silent, not a living soul in sight. You close your eyes and breathe in the fresh air.

Oh well, maybe the air is not so fresh after all, with the smell of gasoline and dust and … smoke?

You turn around.

Lloyd’s Rolls-Royce follows you like a toddler in small steps, with a hand outstretched from the window that flicks his cigarette stub to the curb.

“Mr. Hansen?” You could’ve been dreaming. Why would Lloyd’s car follow you? Why – “What are you doing here?”

Lloyd steps out of the vehicle, popping a peppermint into his mouth. Crushing the candy with his jaw, he mumbles, “Just having a late-night stroll.”

A ridiculous idea comes into mind, and you ask in disbelief: “Are you following me?”

“No.” Lloyd stares at you straight into your eyes, but you’ve seen him lie better, “This is my turf. And you can’t ban me from patrolling my own territory.”

You can’t help but roll your eyes.

Sure. Patrolling. Very convincing. He just happened to stumble in front of your apartment building among hundreds of thousands of streets.

“Of course.” Maybe it’s the wine, because for crying out loud you would be tongue-tied if you were to say this at work, but the sarcasm drips out of your tone like water out of a broken faucet, because you are not in the mood. At all. “Good night, Mr. Hansen.”

“I had a great night.” Since he counts the scurrying of one horny young man as a win, Lloyd casually drops, “Can’t say the same about you.”

What the heck is wrong with him?

Now it’s definitely the wine that does the talking, as you poke him square in the chest with your index finger, your voice littered with fury, “It’s after-hours, and you don’t own my after-hours, in case you don’t have a watch, okay?”

Lloyd offers his characteristic lop-sided smile, “What - you’re gonna buy me one?”

“No?!” You huff out in disbelief. Has he taken hallucinating drugs? Why on earth is he acting funny? “This is not - look, Mr. Hansen-”

Lloyd steps closer. You get that whiff of smoke from his body, and the musky cologne that he occasionally uses in rare circumstances, and your words somehow get stuck in your throat.

“Lloyd.” He pronounces his name, loud and clear, “C’mon sunshine, lllllloyd.”

Lloyd. The name rolls to the tip of your tongue. It feels natural and soft, unlike Lloyd Hansen himself. But the syllable drives your heartbeat wild. He is your boss. You are obligated to call him Mr. Hansen.

Well, maybe not obligated. But you would feel more comfortable calling him Mr. Hansen. The name Lloyd sounds like an over-step of your work relationship.

Your work. Your beloved secretary job. Which is fine. Which you enjoy, as you handle his affairs with some effort. But the name. He’s asking you to call him Lloyd and that sounds more intimate than what you should be calling your boss.

“I- ” You are at a loss of words. What does he want? Does he want you to be his mistress? Which is ridiculous, because you don’t want to be the type of canary living in a birdcage and sing for him whenever he pleases. More importantly, he cannot be having thoughts about you – or does he want this to be a one-night thing where he could pull up his pants and comment on how long since he had a good fuck?

-stop it. It’s an insane thought. He’s not interested. So are you.

You accidentally look at his eyes, and you recognize the burning desire rooting deep down. It scorches you instantly as your eyes meet, before you lower your head to avoid the demanding gaze.

“You’re my boss…” You mutter weakly, knowing well that this stupid excuse does not prevent you from enjoying (or feeling safe at) Lloyd’s presence – most of the time, when he’s not bloody or throwing punches – or from the plain fact that maybe, just maybe that you feel a little different towards him, and that for the briefest of moments, you wished that he was sitting across the dinner table tonight, taking you out on a date.

Lloyd’s expression goes still for a second.

You can’t tell whether he’s mad or upset.

He sighs, taking a step towards you to close the space between you two, before framing your face in his hands and whispering in frustration, “God, you’re so dumb.”

His lips are soft, contrary to his mean words. They land on you with a bitter taste of burned tobacco, as his tongue swipes the seam of your lips, forcing an embarrassing mewl out of you.

It felt like Lloyd and his roughness. It felt like an iceberg breaking into chucks, whales lifting their head to breathe and the dam that withholds feelings inside your head cracks. It felt … right.

He slowly breaks away the kiss, sighing again, right next to your lips, his moustache making your cheek itch.

“Am I about to get a kick in the balls?” He asks softly, nose gently rubbing on yours.

“No…no.” Not that you don’t want to, because how dares he! Following you and kissing you like that! But because your head turning into a warm mush.

“Good.” He nibbles on your lips, you can feel his lips curving into a smile, “ ’cause I kinda like them.”

“Hmm?”

“Never mind.” He lands another kiss on you before pulling away. The bad-boy grin visible on his face.

You feel like you need to say something. Anything. So, you open your mouth and: “Do you want … a cup of coffee at my place?”

Lloyd cocks his eyebrows in surprise, but there’s no way he’d let slip of this chance, “Sure, why not.”

The mush in your brain refuses to leave. Your body acts on auto-pilot, leading you away from him.

You don’t even notice that he’s not following you this time, until he calls your name out of the blue, with a hint of amusement in his tone.

“Yes, Mr. Hansen?”

Lloyd decides to let slip of your poor choice of words this time, simply pointing his thumb in the other direction: “Your home is this way.”

Taglist (Also tagging those who might be interested): @stargazingfangirl18 @sarahdonald87 @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @magnificentsaladllama @biteofcherry @petalj @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @thezombieprostitute @yiiiikesmish @warriorblu @vonalyn @notathingjustthere @lokislady82 @irishhappiness @toozmanykids @alicedopey @cakesandtom @universitypenguin @openup-yourmind @helenaeisenhower @wilsons-striped-ties @tittittoee @bean-is-reading @yearningforsappho @esposadomd @salvatoreitmeanssaviour

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[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #14

• People with Pisces in their big 3 especially Sun/Moon tend to be known by a certain nickname. E.g. Olympia Ann (Olan) Sylvers (Pisces moon), Etterlene (Bunny) DeBarge & Robert Louis (Bobby) DeBarge (Pisces suns), etc…

• Gemini/Virgo placements be talking to themselves the most! Lol.😭 Virgo placements will think it’s concerning and call it “talking to their buttons” while Gemini placements will have full on conversations by themselves to themselves and argue that it’s a healthy thing.🤣

• Gemini risings are those kids at the beach who will try to make conversation with another kid by the water that they don’t know in attempts to get the other kid to play with them lmao.😂

• Leo suns with Aquarius risings are all about GOOD vibessss!! These bunch are the type to put summer music on and goof around with their best friends!

• Earth Mars people are so good at dirty dancing?🙃

• Gemini suns with Aquarius moons and Sagittarius risings are so witty and such big goofballs behind the scenes!😂 They also have very good taste in fashion and are hott!!!🥵🥵🥵

• Libra/Gemini/Aquarius sun little kids be so energetic, goofy and sneaky! Lmaooo The boys specifically be the types to pull pranks on people or smack people booties then run.😭🤣

• Capricorn suns with a Scorpio stellium can literally just take my soul already!😩 So earthy, ambitious and open up little by little but are so sensitive and so cute!!💜

• I also love their senses of humors!✨

• Aries suns with Aries mercuries are so funny!😂 When they’re explaining something that happened to them that annoyed them for real they’re so straightforward and no-bullshit type people that be saying the funniest shit! I love y’all! 😩😂❤️‍🔥

• I love the energy Taurus suns with Gemini mercuries carry! Specially when they have Sagittarius moons, they’re so goofy and love scaring little kids lmao.😂

• Scorpio suns with Sagittarius mercuries are some of my favorite people!! So blunt and unapologetic unfiltered/care less!

• Taurus moon-Aquarius moon friendships are so underrated! They’re both stubborn and might be set in their own ways but will normally be very sweet and thoughtful with one another! They’re also not the types to stay mad at each other for too long.💙

• Aquarius suns with Taurus moons and Capricorn risings are types to plan shopping trips if they like you, even if you guys just met!

• Aquarius placements 🤝 perfecting/staying focused on their crafts.

• Virgo moons are almost always right! Even if you think they aren’t, they ARE. And you’ll thank them later.

• Sagittarius sun-Aquarius moon, Sagittarius mercury grandmas be lit. Idc.😂

• Jupiter in the 5H people are beyond talented!!

• Sagittarius/9th house placements don’t always just want to learn new languages or travel to the middle of nowhere. Some of them are literally forced to move AND learn a new language.

• Most Capricorn placements aren’t boring especially when you get to know them lol! Some can be a little shy too and think it’s a bad thing when they ‘talk too much’ and in reality it’s not, it’s actually entertaining since you might make a lot of people see things from a more downright logical perspective and your smartness is hella attractive!💖

• Men with Sagittarius moons might start to emotionally distance themselves from you before avoiding you and then completely leaving your life!

• All jokes aside Gemini risings are also very smart like their counterparts (Virgo risings) they just choose who to use their smarts around and when to do so.🤝🥲

• Libra moons are such harmonious people in general, I genuinely love you guys!💗

#astro community #astro posts #astroblr #astro placements #astro observations #astrology #fire mercury #fire moon #air rising #earth moon #aquarius #taurus moon #capricorn rising #capricorn sun #aquarius moon #sagittarius moon #sagittarius sun #sagittarius mercury #earth placements #aries sun #aries mercury #jupiter #gemini rising #libra moon #scorpio sun #taurus sun #taurus #scorpio #gemini mercury #rendezvous-fling