#update when i first made this post i was genuinely not intending to single out any specific links meet aus | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scott-mccall-the-hot-girl · 3 years

Text

my ultimate guide to thiam fic !!

( as a new teen wolf stan )

the classic post war, long ass (multi chapter) fic !!with great development that genuinely made me laugh out loud, they have the best friendship in this & i love it very much. ( like theo teaches liam to drive and i just *happy sobs* ) a fundamental in thiam fanfiction !! all stans have probably already read it but if you haven’t this is in fact a threat ,, go show this vv iconic story some love !!

Airplanes - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: After the Anuk-ite and the hunters are dealt with Liam needs a break. Cue Theo and a road trip that Liam should know better than to think will be peaceful.

Not Rated, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, 43/43 Chapters, Words: 236,875 (236k)

okay okay so this one is also post 6B !! but ,, now we introduce fighting monroe & the hunters again ,, so we get the boys & a new mission !! so if you like an intresting plot 11/10 would recommend !! just to be clear this ISN’T complete ,, if that turns you off i understand but definitely give this one a read !! it litterally have theo doing crossword puzzles & fighting zombies

Vacancy Signs - LovelyLittleGrim

Summary: Theo and Liam are in Manhattan negotiating a pack allyship when the zombie apocalypse breaks out. Now, the two of them have to find their way back to Beacon Hills without getting eaten by zombies or killing one another.

Rated: Explicit, Graphic Description of Violence, Not Completed, 15/17 Chapters, Words: 89,605 (89k)

Royalty AU !! I REPEAT ROYALTY AU !! a fantastic au where i stan their moms more than i stan them !! genuinely so good at the childhood rivals to lovers trope !! i’m genuinely obsessed with this one. has made me cry more than once ,, hurts in a good way <3 the ending is just *chefs kiss* also one of the tags is genuinely: # theo and liam make bad choices for over 130k straight !! if that doesn’t sound appealing i don’t know what does !!

Artificial Love - songbvrd

Summary: Prince Theo and Prince Liam are forced to spend every Summer together from age five onwards. They hate each other, and usually find ways to make each other miserable as much as possible in their six weeks together. But when they're reunited because of intended unions as adults, things change. They're both supposed to be married to noble women, but neither of them is as interested in anyone else as they are with their childhood rival.

Rated: Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, Completed, Chapters: 32/32, Words: 172,935 (172k)

so if you are in the mood for a crack fic that’s not explicitally a crack fic this is for you !! okay so i’m really hit or miss with AU’s ,, sometimes i feel like they don’t quite capture the characters right but this story have the BEST dramatic liam i have ever seen in my life !! basically they all live in the same apartment building & it’s fantastic !! i saw this one floating around a lot but the summary didn’t really unrest me until i have it a shot !! so go read it rn !! also nolan & brett are genuinely fantastic and make me wheeze ,, LIKE ACTUALLY VERBALLY LAUGHING !! all i’m gonna say is that my fav characters are scott & the beetles but that won’t make actual sense until you read it !!

The Neighbors Song - TheodoreR

Summary: “I always hear you singing on your balcony every morning, but suddenly you’ve stopped?”

Or the one where Theo annoys Liam every morning with his awful singing until he doesn’t anymore and Liam is even more annoyed. Liam hates every single thing about his mornings -the fact that they happen in the morning alone is enough. The thing Liam hates the most about his mornings though is the terrible voice of the guy who lives below him. He can’t sing for shit and Liam tried to politely let him understand that by throwing flour and water on his balcony, and also by shouting it to him, you can’t sing for shit!, and then by writing it into a note he proceeded to attach to his door, but this Raeken guy just keeps doing it, every single morning, like a fucking rooster. Liam did nothing to deserve this. He probably didn’t do anything to deserve better either to be fair, he doesn’t expect to open his window and be welcomed by some angelic voice singing him good morning, he’d just be happy with nothing. Silence. That’s something Liam can appreciate in mornings. Just some bark from his dog and the sound of his misery and that’s it. But no, god forbid the new guy lets him have that.

Rated: Explicit, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Wanrings, Completed, 8/8 Chapters, Words: 42,814 (42k)

me: i’m not a big fan of AU’s ,, proceeds to talk about ANOTHER au… OKAY BUT THIS ONE !! it’s not complete but the author has been updating regularly ,, vv slow burn !! but in a REALLY intresting way !! i lOVE LIAM IN THIS SO MUCH ,, he is such a diaster of a person and it’s wonderful !! they have a great dynamic & i’m sucker for general puppy pack content ( and erica reyes being a badass ) !! also theo plays lacrosse in this & i really like it ahhhhh ,, also liam is just being an artic monkeys stan the whole time & theo is like *que confused repressed gay noises*

Inglorious Roommates - honeyscape

Summary: A roommate is defined as “a person with whom one shares a room.”

Theo would say a roommate was more along the lines of, “The person who's the bane of his existence. The weirdo that sleeps for days. The spaz that exercises at 3am. The guy with a revolving door of annoying friends. An insufferable human being that Theo has no control over living in his room.”

Example: Theo hates his roommate Liam.

okay okay i hate myself but i have another WIP for y’all !! this one is jUST FANTASTIC. i’m genuinely so upset it’s most likely not going to updated again *incoherent screaming ensues*. for this story ,, it’s very theo-centric bUT thats bc it ends right before liam becomes a concrete member of the story !! ANYWAY: basic plot = theo & acquiring not one but two children ,, so #dad theo but he is still crusty & homeless and i love him very much. it’s just so GOOD !! just read if you want to experience my fav theo coming out story & him etching high school musical

Look who's talking - Captainmintyfresh

Summary: Theo had been labeled many things in his life. Evil, failure, monster. He'd never thought Father would be one of those things but as he looked across the table to a six year old with blue smears of bubble gum icecream across her face trying to coax the first words out of her sister. Finger jabbing towards Theo's face as she repeated 'Daddy' again and again he couldn't bring himself to dispute the label.

(Theo accidentally adopts two young werewolves)

Not Rated, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings, Not Completed, Chapters: 16/?, Words: 48740 ( 48k )

so here me out: post-canon ( poetry like angst ) summer get away !! just the boys doing cute little domestic things together whilst pining !! theo’s guilt in this is just so powerful & aGjffkgkkfkvkdlv !! i think it’s so interesting to see how they interact in this one, it’s just very heart warming !! and it features one of my favorite niche teen wolf tropes of theo being great with like seven year old girls- it’s just so good ,, very much a wonderful little one shot that just makes your heart happy.

(next time i see you you'll show me) a hundred different ways to say the same things - cherrysprite

Summary: “...You deserve good things,” Liam says eventually. He makes sure not to look at Theo even though he can feel his eyes turn on him. Somehow he can already tell that Theo doesn’t believe him.

Liam instantly makes that the goal of this summer - making Theo believe him.

Rating: Teen and Up, No Archive Warnings Apply, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 28875 ( 28k )

okay so this next section of fic recs is a bit different !!

two of my favorite authors !! and a compilation of fics i’ve read by them both !!

for context: these two have written some genuinely gorgeous fics, like pure poetry, they explore the real gritty & scary side of our boys relationship in such a wonderful way. they’ve both used some of my favorite tropes & i love them very much !!

whenever i need something soothing but so genuinely intresting & enticing these are my go to !! ( also they both write a lot of good nolan angst & some vv good fics with hayden )

go check out:

eneiryu

as well as fallingforboys

here are some of my favorite fics by them ~

darling i want you here in my arms (kiss the pain away, i know you can) - fallingforboys

even before you touched me, i belonged to you (all you had to do was look at me) - fallingforboys

memories linger like tattoo scars (but your touch on my skin is just as permanent) - fallingforboys

skin, bones, a stolen heart, and an ugly creature lurking underneath -fallingforboys

i don't know how to breathe in the place i called home - fallingforboys

whisper your gossamer truths into the shadow, maybe you'll find the answers you're searching for - fallingforboys

between the mountains and the valley we built a monument to our regret - eneiryu

cracked the hinges of the cage and waited for you - eneiryu

okay and finally: since i am a self centered whore

my own fic: an rendition of the # elevator scene

it’s basically my version of post canon if we did get the kiss in the elevator. we got a classic liam pov in which he is has 12/10 for extreme bi diaster energy even whilst being shot at !! so go him ig…

Fuck Off, Fuck This & Fuck It! - nefelibata_peach

Summary: Liam thought to himself heart rate climbing, they were bound to be dead by morning. So he thought with everything but his brain and he kissed him.

Where Liam Dunbar is very confused, slightly traumatized, and just a bit scared but hey, aren't they all! Bad decisions ensue as two boys fight in a war they never did sign up for.

Rating: Teen and Up, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Chapters: 1/1, Words: 3558 ( 3k )

#this took me so long #please go read these or i’ll cry #fan fiction #fan fic recs #teen wolf fic recs #thiam fanfiction #thiam fic recs #thiam #theo raeken #liam dunbar #theo x liam #teen wolf fandom #teen wolf gay #teen wolf #ao3 #fuck you fuck this & fuck it #thiam fanfic rec #thiam fanfic #thiam is endgame

334 notes · View notes

thesoulspulse · 3 years

Text

Good Vlad AU (Maternal Instinct Re-Imagined!)

Before I get started, sorry about that last post with me answering a jerk-faced anon (Update: I’ve since deleted that post but thanks to those who showed me their support regardless, I really appreciate it.) I shouldn't have let them get to me but I was tired and upset about their stupid comment so I called them out on it in the heat of the moment. It hit a bit close to home since a friend of mine had the same sort of thing happen to them and my instinct to stand up for them in a way kicked in even though this had nothing to do with them and, well, you saw what happened. Also thank you Blazing-Shadow (can’t @ you for some reason, thanks tumblr, but I hope you can see this) for your kind comment in response to this messed up situation and I’m sorry you had to deal with a nasty anon too.

But moving on, I did wake up this morning to this cute idea of a way to possibly salvage the Maternal Instincts episode for my Good Vlad AU! The idea here is what if Vlad sent some kind of fake invitation to Fenton Works just like in that episode only this time it was for the ENTIRE Fenton family and not just Danny and his mom? Even better, he’s doing it as a NICE surprise for them?

At this point in the new timeline for this Good Vlad AU which you can check out here (https://thesoulspulse.tumblr.com/post/661878830618771456/regarding-my-good-vlad-au-alternate-timeline) Vlad is still living in Wisconsin while trying to figure out the best way to genuinely reconnect with and become closer to Jack and Maddie again, not to mention Danny since he really wants to get to know his little badger better. The episode continues similar to the canon one, but the vibe is entirely different since everyone in Danny’s family gets treated to the first class jet ride together. Danny meanwhile kinda suspects something is going on behind the scenes but his biggest concern about all this is the fact that being out here means he’s leaving Amity Park unprotected which obviously isn’t Vlad’s intention at all, it was a perfectly innocent oversight on his part which we’ll address further on getting into this.

Once they reach the intended location, just like in the episode they all get tricked into jumping out of the jet by that ghost and thus marks the beginning of Good Vlad’s misguided but good-intentioned shenanigans in Danny’s life. After that they end up in the woods and Maddie takes charge of leading the family to safety when bam! There's the Mountain Chalet and Vlad drives up with personalized gift baskets for ALL of them!

And when Danny puts two and two together he's like, "Oh no way, did this fruitloop seriously rig all that?"

As soon as they get the chance to talk privately Danny confronts Vlad about it to which he happily replies, “Yes I did! Were you surprised? I knew you’d be! And don’t worry, I had no intention of actually harming anyone with that little stunt. I was just concerned your parents might turn down my ‘invitation’ if a ghost wasn’t actually involved in some way so I hired a ghost pilot. They’ve always been a bit single-minded like that but it’s part of their charm I suppose.”

Danny’s obviously taken aback by this since he never expected Vlad to be so honest with him, but he still ends up pointing out the obvious flaw in his plan that with Danny Phantom gone Amity Park is pretty much defenseless. Or so he thinks. That’s when Vlad grins and plays his next card by explaining he already has someone on the job but doesn’t reveal yet he made Valerie Gray a ghost hunter to help Danny. Danny’s still skeptical, but since Vlad’s been honest with him so far he tries to trust him a little and relaxes.

Then the episode starts showing off a montage of pictures with Good Vlad doting on the Fenton family by engaging in fun outdoor activities with all his rich boy toys like those 4-wheelers and such, even a boat so they can go fishing out on his private lake nearby! And slowly but surely we notice Danny’s attitude towards Vlad begin to change after actually seeing him being friendly to his parents and Jazz. However, as night falls and they return to the chalet for dinner, disaster strikes! Vlad and Danny’s ghost senses go off as they sense Skulker who then releases a hoard of ghost creatures from his collection to attack them, seeing Danny’s presence as an added but unexpected bonus since his target is actually Vlad.

Turns out they’re old enemies because Vlad has a habit of going to the Ghost Zone and liberating many of the rare creatures Skulker captures whenever he can since he is pro-animal rescue for ghost creatures as much as living ones and believes they should be free. Danny actually finds this really reminiscent of his friend Sam and thinks “Oh wow, Vlad might actually be the only rich person Sam might get along with since she’s like this too.” This is when we see our first amazing team up with Vlad and Danny to help protect Jack, Maddie, and Jazz from this hoard of ghost monsters Skulker is using to hunt them with. Now obviously Jack and Maddie have come prepared so try picturing the scene with the two of them protecting Jazz similar to how Jack was by himself in that episode, giving her a new appreciation for their ghost hunting since this is her first experience seeing them fight a real ghost.

Meanwhile, Vlad and Danny focus their attention on Skulker til things take a turn and Vlad has to use his duplicates to swoop in to save Danny’s family since to him, they are HIS family too which is what gives the episode’s title a whole new meaning since it’s Uncle Vlad protecting his precious college friends and their two children. When this happens, Danny seizes his chance and takes Skulker out, sucking him into the Fenton Thermos he cleverly remembered to pack with him for this trip after learning from his mistake of not doing that when his family went to Vlad’s castle for the reunion. I have a headcanon that Danny forgot it in that episode since he never expected to fight a ghost OUTSIDE of Amity Park, so lesson learned!

And so, between the two halfa’s the situation is quickly resolved following Skulker’s defeat and they manage to capture the remaining ghosts which Vlad realizes he can’t set free again since Skulker specifically trained them to be like his ‘hunting hounds’ which makes him understandably sad. But at least Danny’s there to console him about it.

When the dust settles and they make sure everyone is ok, Vlad apologizes for letting this happen but Jack, adorably, brushes it off and exclaims, “Vladdy! Vlad did you see that? We sent those spooks running right back to the Ghost Zone with their tails between their legs!”

Smiling after slyly winking to Danny since they know it’s actually thanks to them the ghosts were beaten, Vlad replies, “Yes, that display was most impressive, Jack. You and Maddie worked wonderfully together and I’m relieved to see that Jasmine is alright. As you can see Daniel is safe and sound too. So why don’t we hurry inside now? I’ll make everyone some coco. After all that was quite the ordeal we just went through! I’ll also have dinner prepared late in the meantime since it was so rudely interrupted just now and I’m sure you’re all famished!”

Nodding in agreement, they start heading inside but then Danny stops Vlad just outside the door and says, “Hey Vlad? Thank you, you know, for helping me beat Skulker and saving my family. I guess you’re not so bad after all.”

Ruffling Danny’s hair Vlad grins tenderly and laughs, “Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to tell you from the beginning, little badger?”

The episode then ends with Vlad guiding Danny inside by the small of his back while we see Jack, Maddie, and Jazz on the other side of the doorway as it closes as if to say this is only the beginning of their new life with Uncle Vlad there to help keep the Fentons safe. Then the credits roll with the usual theme song...

And there you have it! We’ve officially re-imagined Maternal Instinct with Good Vlad who from that moment on is on the road to becoming Uncle Vlad for real! I hope you enjoyed reading!

108 notes · View notes

beckydoesthings · 3 years

Text

I spend far too much time on AO3 to let it all go to waste, so here’s a collection of ABO fics that I thoroughly enjoy. These are all hxl unless specified otherwise. I tried to condense my total list into one post, but I very quickly realized it would be waaaaay too long, so I split it up.

*will continue to update this. also if i mistagged an author, i deeply apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

sleeping on our problems

E | 67k | @falsegoodnight

I’m in love with you, Louis thinks. He feels empty, weighed down by his sadness and the loss of Harry inside him just moments ago before his knot finally went down. There’s moments where he’s sure Harry feels the same. Like now, when he’s gazing down at Louis with so much adoration and tenderness. It’s like they’re both on the cusp of something more, but neither of them ever say a word. His confession is on the tip of his tongue ready to slide out like honey, and yet he remains silent. They both do, looking at each other and recognizing the reluctance mirrored in each other’s eyes. It’s then that Louis realizes they’re both scared. - Or Louis sleeps with Harry and they have more than just catching feelings to worry about.

this is everything i’ve ever wanted in an ABO fic and i’m genuinely in love with this. i think i cried reading this lol and i’m not ashamed of it. also the smut!

A Distant Hazy Light

E | 198k | @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down, until he builds his own up.

this is part one of a three part ABO series that also probably made me cry at some point. chock full of angst and heartbreak with an (eventual) happy ending. also the side ziam is just *chef’s kiss*.

pray for some sweet simplicity

E | 237k | @eeveelou

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.

Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

it’s just so beautiful. their relationship development was soooo good and i adored reading this piece. i never thought i could enjoy a motorcycle racing story so much!

A Sea Without Water, A Compass Without Direction

T | 84k

”Tell me, Louis,” Captain Styles said, leaning forward a little. ”D’you think I’m an idiot?”

”I—what?” Louis asked, surprised by the blunt question. He had expected something different, something along the lines of how he learned music, or how he ended up as a prisoner on the other ship.

”Do you think I’m an idiot?” The captain repeated, putting emphasis on each word as though Louis couldn’t understand him otherwise.

”Of course not,” Louis said, shaking his head. He’d be a fool for thinking such a thing, and an even bigger fool for saying it out loud. ”Captain.”

Captain Styles nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands in his lap. ”Then why did you lie to me?”

”L-Lie?”

”Out on the deck. You lied to me,” he said. He held up his hand, three fingers up. ”Three lies total. I hate liars.”

i think i’ve read this like a dozen times and it’s still. so. good. probably the first pirate fic i read and i love it so much! the dynamic between them is awesome to read.

Seeing Blind

E | 46k | @that-idiot-overthere

Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”

OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.

the smut in this fic is absolutely filthy and i love it ;). but watching the two boys be idiots in love made this fic for me.

The Space Between

E | 40k | @alltheselights

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why.

Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

i wanted to smack harry the entire time i was reading this, but in a cool way obviously. it’s quite fluffy but it’s got enough angst to make it suspenseful.

Face Your Fears

E | 92k | @sadaveniren

Harry is a single father, pretending to be a beta after his alpha mated him and left him. He’s getting by just fine raising the twins when Louis walks into his bakery. Too bad him and Louis will never be a thing.

this fic is a rollercoaster of emotions from beginning to end and it’s amazing to read. i’m not sure what i love more, the fact that harry’s a baker or half the plot being based around wikipedia being false.

The Compulsion to Find Love

E | 140k | @toomanydreamers

The most prestigious English third-level institution, Candling University, accepts omega students for the first time and Louis Tomlinson applies with bright eyes and brighter ambitions. There he encounters personal obstacles, traditional mindsets and a beautiful boy who inverts every prejudice Louis has ever known.

it is quite a lengthy story but totally worth it. i adore louis’ fierce determination in this!

We Both Got Nothing to Hide

E | 43k

“Talk to me, Lou.”

“I can’t,” Louis mumbled, knowing he genuinely couldn’t say it. He couldn’t admit to what he was doing. “Don’t ask me to say it, because I can’t.”

“Then… I’ll try and guess. You’ve… got some stuff of Harry’s. Something of his to make it smell like him?”

Louis just nodded, eyes fixated on the floor. This was humiliating, but he knew Zayn wouldn’t stop until he found out what was going on.

“Okay. Like… a blanket, or a comforter or something?”

“Kind of…”

Omega Louis has a secret nest. Alpha Harry keeps losing his clothes.

personal favorite because i have a soft spot for nesting. but i love the relationship between the two and it’s. so. fluffy i could melt.

lemon eyes

E | 50k

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

ah yes a fic where Louis is an alpha and both are versatile?? wack. anyways, the smut in this is awesome and harry’s an idiot. what’s new?? (jkjk)

A Taste of Desire

E | 104k | @casuallyhl

“As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world.

one of my favorite historical AUs! i love how strong and opinionated Louis is and how Harry comes round to follow.

Canyon Moon

E | 40k | @eeveelou

For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

Then Harry’s father dies in a violent accident, and Louis’s future alpha disappears on the wind.

An A/B/O Lion King AU

disney AUs are the shit! i’ve got a small love for werewolf fics and this is one of my favorites. love how this takes the story of lion king for a spin.

Quiet People Have the Loudest Minds

M | 38k | @2tiedships2

Broadway shows were one of the few things that could keep Louis’ attention for a full two hours without needing to move about. But not tonight.

The alpha next to him was both infuriating him and practically turning him on at the same time. He needed to leave. The alpha, that is. Louis was staying.

Or the one where Louis is a nonverbal omega who has accepted the fact that he will never find an alpha that will treat him as an equal. On the other hand, he’s never met anyone like Harry.

i love how just sappy and sweet this is, like there are just hearts pouring out of my eyes as i read this. also broadway!

*updated 2/15/21*

#fic recs #ao3 #in no particular order #abo fics #hl

86 notes · View notes

americasass81 · 3 years

Text

Make Her Mine - Chapter Three

{Warning: 18+, Dark theme, Smut, Fingering, Drugging, Mild Somnophilia, Non-con, Swearing, Choking, Mention of oral, Violence, Male Masturbation, Real Persons Mentioned}

Seriously do not read if any of this upsets you.

A/N: Okay though this started out as something to keep me occupied while I was without Wi-Fi for a week and never really planned on posting it, here at chapter three I would like to thank everyone who seems to like it and hope they get the same kick out of reading it as I’ve had writing it. Having started out with an original female character, I have decided for those reading to remove the reader's name. As such it’s now dark!Tony Stark x Reader and I figured it was about time I posted this chapter which was written months ago. Hope you all enjoy it.

Word count:- 2,490

Waking the next morning well rested, you started the day by emailing Sabrina the vague outline of your plan to escape Tony as well as how Sebastian might get involved should his infatuation prove stronger than you hoped. Titled Operation Goldfish, you figured it was a handy enough codename to quickly slip into a compromised conversation. Once satisfied, you then ordered breakfast before heading downstairs to rebook your room for five more days. Getting off the elevator and walking towards the reception desk, you took a sharp turn back to the seating area when you saw Tony walking through the front doors.

'Fuck.' you thought, 'what was his problem. Was his ego really so bruised, that he was determined to track you down?' Looking around, you quickly picked up a paper off the table and hid behind it, while you waited to see what happened next. Noting the time it was taking him to be dealt with, you instead seized the opportunity of his distraction to make it back to the elevators unseen, and quickly returned to your room.

Running through the suite, collecting all your belongings, you were just about to text Sabrina regarding the situation when you heard a beep and the sound of the door opening. Heart pounding and cursing that you didn't feel comfortable having Sabrina retrieve your weapons as well, you slowly walked towards the bedroom door to be greeted by the sight of Tony Stark standing in your suite.

"Well Darling, have you any idea all the bother you've caused me. Now I hope you're not planning on going anywhere after I gave clear instructions as to what was expected of you."

"How the fuck did you get in here and why are you doing this? Is your ego really that fragile?" you asked, while quickly trying to assess how you were going to get out of this.

No sooner were the words out of your mouth however, when you found his hand around your throat as your body hit the jam of the door. "You'll find being Tony Stark I can pretty much buy my way in anywhere. Now listen to me very carefully, the money you're using to hide from me was earned in my employ. That means Darling, that I own your pretty little ass."

Trying to hit him with one hand while using the other to pry his off your throat, he released you and you slumped to the floor, gasping for air as tears leaked from your eyes. Glaring at him, your temper flared and you couldn't hold your tongue. "So what, you think you're entitled to do whatever you want with anyone who works for you? That is seriously fucked up and illegal on so many levels."

"Oh no, Y/N, not anyone." he purred, helping you up while forcing you to look at him as his fingers caressed your chin. "Just you. There's something about the way you think you're too good for me, that makes me want to see you kneeling naked before me while choking on my cock."

Disgusted at his words and brimming with fear and anger, your knee came up to connect with his family jewels as you reached your hand around the wall and pulling a floor lamp towards you, brought it down on him. Though all this only stunned him, it gave you enough of an opening to hit him again, before reaching for your getaway bag and running from the room.

Not looking back to see if he was following you, you forgot the lift and started down the stairs as fast as you could. Reaching the street, you made it two blocks before you felt a sharp prick in your neck. Slowly slumping forward, you weren't conscious as iron arms wrapped around your chest and a booming voice told passersby that everything was under control. Taking you to an Avengers controlled facility because of the publicity surrounding your episode, the next phase of his plan was to extricate you from those determined to keep you from him.

*************

Having received the unexpected call from Tony Stark, it didn't take long for Sabrina to show up at the facility with Sebastian and two of his goons in tow. Being greeted by a kindly nurse, they were allowed to see you for a few minutes before being ushered into one of the unused offices where Tony sat waiting.

Closing the door behind him, Sebastian had to hold his wife back as she lunged at Tony. "What did you do to her, you sick fuck? I swear, if anything happens to her the full might of the New York Mob will tear you and your costumed freaks to ribbons."

"Firecracker, calm down. At least let the man explain." Sebastian coaxed, quickly glancing at Tony.

"Fine." she said, sitting in the nearest vacant chair while keeping her eyes fixed on Tony, as Sebastian took the seat next to her.

"Well it's good to see you have some control over your woman, but I wonder Mr. Stan, does she actually speak for you."

"Mr. Stark, please don't interpret my love for my wife as a sign of weakness. While she may not speak for me on Mob business, where Y/N is concerned we act as one."

"Fair enough. I was on my way back from a routine rescue when F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted me to a pedestrian in distress. I reached her before she could hit the ground and only discovered it was Miss Y/L/N when I saw her face. I then brought her here and immediately called you, of course." he said, turning his gaze on Sabrina.

"And what exactly is wrong with her? The nurse Charlie wasn’t exactly forthcoming with information." Sebastian stated, reaching out to take his wife's hand.

"That I'm afraid is a question I don't yet have the answer to. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is running every conceivable test, but if nothing comes up, we may just have to accept it's something else and simply let it run its course."

"Something else? As in stress related?" Sabrina snapped, glaring daggers at him. "I wonder what could possibly have stressed her out that much?"

"Yes Mrs. Stan, I'll admit it, I didn't handle her rejection of me very well. But I've since gotten over it. Which is why I now intend to make sure she gets the best medical care my resources can provide."

"Mr. Stark," Sebastian interrupted.

"Tony, please." he stated, turning to face the mob boss once again.

"Tony. Given the issues these past couple of days have thrown up between you and Y/N, surely you can understand our concern. I don't think my wife and I are very comfortable with this arrangement."

"I totally understand your reservations, but as a Stark Industries employee she is also covered under the company's medical insurance, which means I can insist on the best possible treatment available anywhere. I will of course be more than happy to keep you updated on her condition. Now perhaps we can leave it there for today? I have your number."

"Sebastian, we can't just leave her here with this arrogant douchebag. This is exactly the opportunity he's been waiting for." Sabrina explained, locking eyes with her husband.

"Sabrina, sweetheart, his concern seems genuine and he should be made pay for her care. She'll be okay." Turning back to Tony, he looked him over once, before he spoke again, "Remember what my wife told you, Stark. In the meantime, I'll expect regular updates." he stressed, rising from the chair and taking his wife's hand to lead her from the room. Left alone with you incapitated down the hall, Tony couldn't hide the satisfaction he felt, knowing he finally had you in his grasp.

Suspecting that your friends didn't believe a word he said, Tony walked down the hall to your room where he couldn't help but gaze on your sleeping form. Though the sedative he'd hit you with should give him until tomorrow to get you moved to his secret location, part of him was disappointed that it had come to this. He had hoped when you left his office you would do as he asked, but it seemed you weren't as meek as you pretended to be. Still, he did love a challenge and he would enjoy breaking you.

Leaving you temporarily to deal with the paper trail and the nurse, he returned quickly and went about removing what medical equipment had been hooked up to lend some reality to the scene. Next, pulling back the sheets, he frowned at the hideous workout gear you still wore but couldn't help himself as his hand made its way up the inside of your thigh. Though he knew he wanted you awake for all he had planned, he told himself he simply wanted to see how effective the drug was at keeping you sedated.

Reaching your waist, he gently eased down your leggings before running his hand along your panty covered folds. Moving his hand up and down a few times, he brought his fingers to his mouth and coated them in his saliva before shoving your panties aside to feel your flesh against his hand. Slowly gliding up and down your folds, he moved up every now and then to circle your clit before he poked your entrance with a finger. Moving it gently in and out, he was surprised by the small amount of moisture this single digit was producing. Deciding to experiment further, he slipped in a second finger and was rewarded with a tightness that wasn't there the first time. Pumping his digits harder and faster into your pussy, he marveled at how well the drug was working, while still allowing your body to slick up his fingers.

Hearing movement out in the hall, he quickly removed his fingers, replaced your clothes and licked your juices off his digits before pulling the sheets back up. Bending down to softly kiss your lips, he pulled back before whispering "soon darling, you'll feel more than my fingers and you'll never be empty ever again." Then when a dead quiet once again fell over the place, he released his armor, eased you out the window and gently flew you to the secluded spot where his car was waiting. Placing you on the seat and securing your belt, he swept the hair back from your face before shedding his armor, getting behind the wheel and driving off to your new home.

*************

Pulling into the secluded, underground hideout, he thanked all the gods above that no one knew of its existence or its connection to him. Housing a garage, living quarters and state of the art lab, he knew it would be the perfect place to hide you until you finally accepted him. Taking you gently from the car and depositing you in your room, he still had things he needed to do before you woke up.

Removing your leggings and panties, he hurried to your bathroom to clean you up after his earlier exploration, before slipping into his room to retrieve a pair of boxers. Left to him, you wouldn't need clothes any time soon, but he figured after the hotel you might not take too kindly to waking up naked. As a compromise, the drug should afford him time to wash your lower garments and return them before you knew anything was amiss.

Heading to his room to shower, his mind wondered how you would react when you regained consciousness. Oh he could easily have tied you to the bed already and after the hotel maybe he should, but where was the fun in that? The contrast between the meek 'Mr. Stark' spouting you in his office and the fiery you that had evaded him and attacked him in the hotel suite excited him more than any woman had in years. He couldn't wait to see which you would open your eyes or what it would take to tip you in either direction.

So consumed was he by you that it took him awhile to realize his hand had strayed to his throbbing erection. Continuing to pump his hand up and down while thinking of your tight, warm and wet walls squeezing him like a vice, his mind wandered back to his fingers buried in your pussy and working himself harder he came with a groan, his cum coating his hand. Looking down at his release, he quickly washed up, exited the shower and changed his clothes before making a bite to eat.

Once fed, he headed back to check on you, to find you just as he left you. Though fairly certain about the timeframe of the sedative, he thought it best not to dally and headed off to his lab to set up a cover that would hopefully keep your mob friends off his back.

His first act was to wire money to associates in Europe to make it look like his private jet had landed with himself, you and the nurse Charlie aboard. Next was the setting up of a false trail that currently had you under the care of the best doctors in Denmark, no way he figured would your meddlesome friends travel there. Then he fished your phone out of your getaway bag, while marveling at the amount of cash you had stashed away. He knew he paid his employees well, but the ingenuity of someone your age to even think of something like this both amazed him and made him wonder why you did it in the first place. But that was a mystery which could wait.

Unlocking your phone, a pathetically simple task he noted, he quickly cloned the whole thing and then, placing it back with your cash and passport, hid the bag in the lab's secret safe. Once done with that, his next task involved combing through every voicemail you had in order to synthesize your speech pattern should he have a need for it at some point. He also contemplated freezing your accounts, but figured that might raise some red flags. When all that was done, he then redirected his business calls, thus making the whole thing look legitimate before instructing his A.I. V.I.R.G.I.L. to shut down most of the building.

Satisfied that his efforts were enough, he returned to your room with your freshly washed clothes and redressed you before settling on the couch to spend some time watching the gentle rise and fall of your chest. Knowing it would be a while before he got to see you this peaceful again, he savored every minute until his eyes started to close and so rising, he kissed your forehead before reluctantly returning to his own room. Laying down, he drifted off to sleep, wondering what the days ahead held in store.

Tagging:- @nsfwsebbie , @hoseokchild , @malloryharris , @ironlady1993 , @floatingdaisy7 , @taintedgenre , sorry if I missed anyone.

#dark!tony stark x reader

93 notes · View notes

thedumpsterqueen · 4 years

Text

Standards of Performance, Chapter 5: Thai Food and Realizations

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

AO3 Link

I got this one out QUICK because I'm moving this week and packing is taking up 94% of my brainpower but!! It's out on time!! If I ever have to delay a chapter, I’ll post an update here on my blog. Also, I don’t usually do taglists, but I have had a few people ask - so if you want to be added to a taglist for new chapters, just shoot me a message! I love you all so much, thank you for the continued support and comments!!! <3

Summary: You’re the BAU’s newest intern, desperate to prove yourself amongst an established team of much more experienced profilers. Agent Hotchner, the seemingly infallible team leader, sets strict expectations for your performance. He commands your respect without even trying, but is there something more to your relationship than a simple desire to impress your stony-faced boss?

Chapter: 5, Thai Food and Realizations

Chapter Summary: You decide to talk to Hotch after the Matthews incident, and wind up discovering a lot more about both of you than you bargained for.

Words: 2616

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Pairings: Hotch x Reader, Hotch x You

You weren’t prepared with the immense boredom that came with actually having free time.

The rest of the team had closed the case and flown back (at least you assumed they had; you hadn’t checked), and Hotch had texted you not to bother coming back in until they got a new assignment. You were grateful for the courtesy - a little time to decompress after almost being murdered was nice - but after months of having almost no life outside of the internship, you weren’t entirely sure what to do with yourself.

By the time day four rolled around, you had caught up on the reading you’d been meaning to get to, deep cleaned twice, tried and failed to get into running, and sought out at least a dozen other forms of mindless entertainment. You tried not to think about the fact that this would be the perfect time to catch up with friends if you actually had any, but your college and post-college life spent studying like a madwoman to land a position with the BAU hadn’t exactly lent itself to a healthy social life. There were acquaintances, of course, people you’d spent time with, college boys you’d dated briefly, but none of them had ever lasted. Gotten close.

None of them had ever killed a man for you.

That was the core of it, right? The reason you couldn’t get him out of your head? He’d only known you for a few months, not like the rest of his team that he’d dedicated years to, and yet he didn’t hesitate to end someone’s life in brutal fashion to save yours. You were grateful, of course, given the alternative, but a part of you felt bad. Given his history, he was already encumbered with enough trauma - the last thing he’d needed was another death on his conscience.

That was his decision to make.

That’s what you told yourself, at least. Or tried to. But after four days of the guilt eating at you and failing to distract yourself from it, that thought stopped being reassuring. That evening, after a couple glasses of wine, you finally worked up the courage to acknowledge the idea that had been tossing around in the periphery of your mind for a while.

Committing to action before you convinced yourself this was a dumb idea - and it was, of course, but the slight buzz and four days of isolation said otherwise - you called in an order to the Thai place down the street and heaved yourself off the couch. You tried not to care about how you looked, but changed your outfit an embarrassing number of times before you got the text that your order was ready.

When you first started at the BAU, Garcia had sent you a directory of all the team members’ information. You remembered asking her why their home addresses were on the list - that’s kind of unnecessary, isn’t that, like, personal? you’d said - and you remembered the sad look she’d given you by way of an answer. Turns out the job had followed them all home at one point or another, usually in a way that required rescuing. As you checked the directory for Hotch’s address, you considered that this information was probably only intended to be used if you needed to save him from an unhinged serial killer breaking into his home, but you figured “thanking your boss for snapping a man’s neck to save your life” was a satisfactory enough purpose.

Turns out, Hotch lived in an apartment only a few blocks away from yours. After picking up the takeout order, you started to make the trek. The closer you got, however, the more your confidence started to waver, and not just because you started to realize how weird you were about to look. Even in the dimming light of the evening, you could tell from the building facades that you were entering a much more well-to-do part of downtown. The storefronts and restaurants occupying the bottom floor of brick condos looked more high-class, the cars parked along the sidewalk more expensive and well-maintained. It made sense given his status in the FBI that Hotch could afford to live in an area like this, but still, you hadn’t imagined it. You hadn’t imagined him living outside of work at all, actually - like an elementary school teacher, it was strange to think that he had a life outside of his job.

You stopped outside of the address on your cell phone, a greystone, ivy-covered apartment building. The doorman saw you pause at the threshold and opened the door from the inside.

“Visiting, I assume?” he asked, as you stepped inside.

Still in shock at the fact that you were in the sort of area that had doormen, you nodded. “Um, yes, Agent Hotchner? I mean, Aaron Hotchner? I work with him. For him, actually. He doesn’t know I’m coming.”

The doorman gracefully ignored your verbal fumbling. “Do you have a badge?”

It made sense that Hotch would use that as a barrier to entry. Smart. You nodded again and produced it from your bag. He waved you on to the stairwell, where you made the climb to the fourth and topmost floor.

You stuttered to a stop outside his door at the very end of the hall. Suddenly overcome with nerves, you took a mental stock of yourself: slightly winded from the four-floor climb, dressed in an oversized sweater and leggings, hair less-than-artfully windswept, hands slightly shaking with adrenaline, clutching a bag of takeout. Not the image you wanted to present to your boss.

God, this was such a fucking stupid idea.

You started to turn away, intending to leave the way you came, when the door in front of you flew open. You yelped, dropping the bag, and turned back to see Hotch standing in the doorway. He was in his work pants, still, but a plain black t-shirt replaced his usual button-up. His left hand was on the half-open door, right hand behind his back, no doubt holding his gun. You put your hands up sheepishly in surrender.

“Hey, Agent Hotchner. Sorry. I just wanted to-”

“What are you doing here?” he interrupted, eyebrows screwed up in confusion.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to, um, thank you. For saving me, the other day. I brought you dinner.”

He continued to look at you like you’d just grown two heads.

You leaned down and picked up the bag of food, holding it out towards him lamely. He looked down at it and finally seemed to relax, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I don’t get many- I wasn’t expecting a visitor. Please, come in.”

It hadn’t occurred to you that he might invite you in, but you weren’t about to pass up the opportunity to see Aaron Hotchner’s apartment. You stepped in, and he replaced the gun he was holding back in a drawer by the entryway, locking the door behind you. You were suddenly overcome with sorrow, knowing his life had progressed in such a way that hearing footsteps outside his door was a cause for alarm.

The apartment was nearly as intimidating as the man himself. Tall, industrial ceilings loomed over the open, warehouse-style floorplan, populated by neutral furnishings. An exposed brick wall on the left housed a stainless-steel kitchen, while a king-sized bed on the far right wall was placed near the only closed portion of the space, which you guessed was the bathroom. The windows were numerous - multi-paned and massive, but curtains were drawn over most of them. It was all a reflection of Hotch - impressive and somewhat cold.

There was a single photo, from what you could see, in the entire apartment - a small frame on the otherwise file-covered coffee table between the couch and flatscreen. It was a photo of Hotch, a woman, and a young child. You found yourself drawn towards it, as Hotch took the bag from you to set it on the kitchen island, and you walked over to pick it up. He was smiling in the photo - a genuine smile, not the tight-lipped imitations you caught a few times at the office - and the sight filled you with emotion. Who was he before you met him? A father, a husband, of course, but what was he like? Did he laugh at Prentiss and Morgan’s off-color jokes instead of chiding them, did he go out to social gatherings with the team? Did he spare emotion when speaking to a victim’s family, as he so rarely did now? Would he have broken a man’s neck without thought like he did to Matthews?

“You’ll stay for dinner?”

You quickly set the frame back down.

“Oh, no, I wasn’t planning on it. Like I said, I just wanted to thank you. I’ve been thinking about it the last few days and I just feel… bad. I guess. You didn’t have to do that.”

“Why would you feel bad?”

You hesitated, trying to avoid the truth - that he didn’t need another body on his conscience. He waited for an answer, and when he didn't receive one, he stepped closer and scanned your face. "What aren't you telling me?"

You weren't keeping anything from him, not really, you just didn't want it to sound like you were calling his mental state into question like you did at the hotel. It didn't matter though, because he had apparently pulled the answer from your expression already.

“You think I’m damaged. And that killing Matthews somehow added to that.”

There was no point in even attempting to lie to him, so you stayed silent.

Hotch sighed and pulled out a seat at the kitchen island. You took it and watched him distribute the takeout containers between the two of you, noticing that despite insisting you weren’t intending to stay for dinner, you’d ordered plenty of food for two people.

Profiling yourself is the worst.

“When Haley and I were married,” Hotch began, picking at his curry, “I took her for granted. I spent more late nights at work than I can count, and I always assumed she would be there when I got home. She was, at first, and then she wasn’t.”

You nodded, afraid to speak, trying not to disturb the moment you’d somehow stumbled upon.

“She had an affair. I never confronted her about it, but I knew. I didn’t hate her for it, but when she asked for a divorce, I let her go without a fight. I wanted the best chance to keep Jack in my life and I didn’t want things to get ugly between us. It worked - I got to see Jack; we were amicable.”

He paused before continuing, “They were killed a few years later by George Foyet. We mismanaged that case. He was ahead of us the entire time; we couldn’t catch up. When we finally caught him, after Haley and Jack-” His voice finally broke, and he set down his fork, staring at the counter.

“He surrendered. I didn't care.”

“You beat him to death,” you whispered. You’d looked up the case file, after JJ had told you what happened.

He nodded, seemingly unsurprised you were familiar with the details. “I was never charged, hardly investigated. No one blamed me. I took some time off, and I came back. I thought about going back to law, but I didn’t.”

He looked up at you, meeting your gaze. “Why didn’t I?”

You blinked away the tears that were forming, confused.”I-I’m sorry?”

“Why didn’t I go back to law? Leave the BAU? You should know the answer.”

“Are you asking me to profile you?”

He nodded in confirmation. “You’re not going to offend me, don’t worry.”

Hotch was the last person you wanted to profile, especially to his face, but you knew better than to try to refuse.

“You... wanted a sense of purpose. If you could keep the same thing from happening to other people, it would make up for what happened to your family,” you responded quietly. It was an easy answer, but it still felt wrong to put Hotch on display like that, especially after he’d already revealed more to you than you’d ever seen him do with anyone.

“Correct,” he said, without a hint of the bitterness you’d have expected to accompany that statement.

“And did it? Help, I mean?”

He studied your face, as if trying to decide whether to grant you the answer. You were suddenly aware of the strangeness of the situation - sitting feet away from your boss in his own apartment talking about the darkest moments of his life. This was insight you doubted he’d ever given before, and as you glanced over his mussed hair, the black t-shirt, caught a whiff of his cologne, you tried not to think about the implications of that statement.

Clearing his throat and raising his eyebrows, he turned back to his food. “It did. It does, most of the time. The rest of the team has been exceptionally understanding, perhaps more so than I deserve.”

“You deserve everything they can give you,” you said with a small smile. “From what they’ve told me, you’ve done the same for each of them several times over.”

“It’s my job,” Hotch said, but you could tell he softened at hearing how his team regarded him.

You both went back to your food, finishing the meal in relative silence - the kind that was comfortable, where you both knew that everything that needed to be said for now, had been. At least, the silence probably felt comfortable to him. Your mind was in overdrive.

Everything Hotch had said and done the last few months that had caused you to falter - the way he shook your hand when you first signed onto the BAU internship, the innocuous moments of praise, that goddamn tie - they were circling your mind like a vulture waiting for the kill. You had tried to brush those moments off, but hearing him open up like this, bare his soul, was too much. It was the next look you stole, watching him eat in quiet contemplation, faint remnants of the blush from the compliment you paid him still gracing his cheeks, that did you in.

You were pretty sure you were in love with Aaron Hotchner.

You were so, so unbelievably fucked.

____________

When Hotch bid you goodbye that night, after you helped clean up his kitchen (which allowing you to do had been a debate in itself), you had the brief, stupid thought that you should just be honest with him. How long, truly, were you going to be able to hide the fact that you were infatuated with your boss? Especially when your boss was in the business of reading people like books?

That idea went out the window, however, when he leaned against the doorway with his signature half-smile and said, “Thank you for everything tonight. I’m glad you’re on the team,” because you know where you wouldn't be, if you confessed your sudden realization? On the team. Hotch made it clear when he hired you, and every day since, that clear judgement was paramount to the team's success. There was no way he'd trust you to be unbiased in a situation that required it if he knew how you felt. And this position was too much to think about giving up, not after the years of studying and social isolation that allowed you to make the cut.

So, you can do this, you decided. You can lie to Aaron Hotchner.

Right?

237 notes · View notes

unmanageable-day · 3 years

Text

Come to me

masterlist

previous chapter: 21

PART 21.5 - next

Summary. After what happened in a relationship in the past, you found it difficult to trust someone with the gentleman image. ‘Gentleman’ seems like merely a concept and it was probably impossible for someone to be a genuine one. Now that you’re stuck with the number one gentleman at campus for a group project, how would you cope with the one and only Joshua Hong?

Genre. College!au, non-idol!au / friends to lover

Pairing. Joshua x y/n x S.Coups

WC / warnings. 2k / soft makeout sesh (can you call it that when no tongues involved??? or maybe its more like pecks session)

TAGLIST. @samemagicpoint @unravellyn @nonuuu @seventeeneration @skylions-den @wooziverse @infinitemoods — [ send ask or dm if you’re interested to be added in the list! ]

You found yourself being confused, sitting on a couch in a corner of a barbershop, flipping page after page of an outdated magazine mindlessly. Sometimes you stole a glance towards a man whose hair was getting cut and dyed. The man who dragged you there and made you accompany him. The reflection of him in the mirror threw a big smile at you.

"How do I look?" he asked as soon as he and you walked out of the barbershop.

"Just looking like S.Coups. What do you expect me to say?" You chuckled.

Grinning, he casually put his arm around your barely clothed shoulder. The direct contact to your skin simply got you flustered. This was the day you regret ever purchasing a skimpy top with spaghetti strap.

Early in the morning, a friend of yours, Somi, came crashing at your place, forcing you to go out with her. She even dug your closet to find an outfit that was not your everyday wear. And that was how the long forgotten floral sleeveless top was found. You cursed why it was found in peak summer season like this. It just made Somi so eager encouraging you to wear it. She even prepared a pair of jeans, mules, and a handbag that would match the top, according to her. And you can't say no when she looked at you with her pleading eyes.

"We will look awesome, Unnie. You see, the color of our top mixes so well together. We have to take pictures. I promise this cafe has the best ambience. You should update your insta, your feed is so dull because you shitpost too much on Twitter," she excitedly rambled.

You never wanted to go home so bad after Somi dragged you here and there until noon. The hot weather quite bothered you, especially that you felt more exposed than usual. Usually you would have your outer whenever you wore sleeveless shirt. Today was an exception because Somi hurried you and you couldn't grab an outer from the closet.

When Somi accidentally spilled some coffee and you may or may not have purposely wiped your hand that got chocolate sauce on your shirt, you thought it was a good chance to buy new clothes. The baby sister rushed you to the closest store, but you were wrong to think you could choose yourself. Because she immediately took 2-3 pieces of another sleeveless top even with spaghetti strap, pushed you to the changing room, and when you were done, she went straight to the cashier and paid the bill.

Wandering around the store before catching up on Somi, you intended to buy some outerwear. But your hands stopped as you were bewildered when someone called you. And it turned out to be Seungcheol shopping by himself. That was how Somi ditched you with a lame excuse because she got overly excited to see you with a fine looking guy.

"Afternoon snack? Boba milk tea?" Seungcheol offered with his gummy smile. He surely appreciated you waiting for him for more than 60 minutes at the barbershop.

These days you found yourself hanging out with him a lot. You surely remembered how flirtatious he was the first time you met him. He was definitely one person you wanted to avoid, or at least to not hang around with that much. Because, one, he was friends with Joshua Hong, and two, you can't stand him flirting and being cringey all the time. The weird thing was now you can't say no to him. This man strangely found his way to you and somewhat won a small part of your heart.

"Or maybe not?" you said as you looked up in the sky. The sunny day had turned into cloudy as the sky got darker. It looked like it was going to rain soon. The little handbag you carried cannot even fit a little umbrella you always brought anywhere anytime. Now you were panicking, already thinking to call a taxi to go home before it rained.

"I think it's wiser to go to my place since it's closer from here. I'll take you home when the rain stops."

"Your place?" you quietly asked, looking concerned. You remembered the three of them lived together. Joshua told you in the first weeks of your internship, about Jeonghan being sulky everyday because of how loud he was when the blender was working to made smoothies aka to provide your breakfast.

You were this close to running away with a taxi as little rain drops started falling and you could feel the cool breeze against your bare skin. Unfortunately not a single vacant taxi was sighted.

"Um.. nobody’s home. Jisoo and Jeonghan are going out," he explained, as if he could read your mind. The longer you took your time contemplating, the grey shade in the sky was getting more visible. Little rain drops started getting bigger and you were running out of choices. "Come on, we don't want you to get wet, do we?" Seungcheol gently took your hand and lead the way.

Again, you can't say no and you cursed yourself for being very indecisive. All you hoped now was this wasn't a bad idea, although you already had a not so good feeling about this.

"Phew, just in time," he remarked as the two of you reached the apartment lobby when the rain suddenly fell heavily. "Let's get upstairs, dry ourselves, and I'll lend you my jacket."

You shook, reassuring him that you were okay. "I'm fine," you said, wiping off the wet trace on your arms. But as soon as you entered the living room, you couldn't deny the chilly temperature that suddenly crept up your body.

"Towel?" he offered, handing over a pink colored fabric.

You muttered thanks as you continued wiping your arms and shoulders.

"Here, wear my cardigan." He tossed a black knit-wear before heading to the pantry to make some hot drink. "Don't just stand there. Go sit on the couch, turn on the TV or something," he chuckled.

You nervously made your way to the couch and sat up straight. Soon, Seungcheol joined you with two cups of hot peppermint tea. Seeing his cardigan crumpled in your hands, he took it and helped to put it around your shoulder. "Feel better?" he asked warmly as he adjusted his seat beside you. Nodding your head, you smiled back at him.

"The rain doesn't look like it will stop soon. Let's just wait a little bit longer, okay?"

It wasn't like you have other better choices anyway. Going home by bus or taxi and get drenched in the middle? No way.

"Is there anything you want to watch?"

"Not really. Just don't trick me to watch horror movies like Joshua did."

"He did that?" He chuckled. "That was messed up, I bet."

A nervous smile was curved on your lips. You were surprised yourself that you still remembered that one time watching movie with Joshua. That was something nobody ever knew. It just slipped off your mouth when Seungcheol asked.

His choice finally was a classic, award-winning movie. Seungcheol can't keep his mouth shut throughout the movie, commenting every scene or comparing with other movies. He subtly scooted closer, and the pointing gesture which he often does eventually decreased. His loud talking also started to become quieter.

"Why?" you spoke, noticing the sudden silent.

"Nothing." His lips pursed into little grin, his eyes finding yours. "Lean on me?"

At first you were hesitant. But there was something about him that always managed to mesmerize you. His opened arms, the warm smile on his face, and his soft gaze hypnotized you. The next thing you knew was you already resting your head against the crook of his neck, his arm looping around your shoulder, his hand fixing the oversized cardigan on you. You can smell his scent. Although the perfume did not have a strong aroma, it was quite fit to your liking.

The movie was reaching the end and post credit scene. Yet none of you did anything but enjoyed the silence with each other's company. You could feel Seungcheol's hand rubbing your upper arm gently. He clearly didn't have intention to release you from his embrace. In fact, he had never wanted to be as selfish as now.

"I wish the rain stops soon," you mumbled. You tried not to squirm too much. But not fidgeting at all didn't help to deal with the current situation. You started to wonder why you just threw yourself at him.

"I wish we can stay like this," he mumbled, almost whispering.

You pretended not to hear that. Suddenly you felt his lips slightly grazed against your forehead. You flinched but you couldn't go anywhere. His arm was still around your shoulder, securing you in place.

You knew this wasn't right.

"Um, we shouldn't.." you mumbled as you squirmed trying to sit up, hoping he would loose his firm grip but to no avail.

By the time you spoke breaking the silence, Seungcheol had readjusted his position, twisting his upper body so you were trapped between his arms. The back of your head stuck against the sofa, which you wished there was no headrest there so you could have escaped from this situation. Without warning but very slowly, he rested his forehead against yours, one of his hand creeping towards your hand that had your fingers curled into a fist. His thumb gave little rubs on the back of your palm, suggesting to be more at ease and also to open up so he could hold your hand properly. You could feel his minty breath as he leaned in closer and your noses brushed each other. In a matter of a second, his lips was pressed against yours then he slightly pulled away.

"I know I shouldn't.." he slowly whispered before going for another peck. Or two, which made you unconsciously gave in and shut your eyes as he sneaked his hand to hold the side of your exposed neck. And there goes another kiss. "But your lips.." Kiss. "So soft." Kiss. "And sweet." Kiss. "I think I could taste something like strawberry." Kiss.

You had no idea what had gotten into you accepting his kisses like this. You probably forgot how to breathe. If it wasn’t for the way he always took quick pauses between his kisses, you could have suffocated yourself. Not to mention, the way he gently rubbed the back of your hand, which somehow it worked to comfort you (and you probably will hate yourself for this).

What were you even thinking? Did he lead you on? Did you lead him on?

Slowly releasing your hand, his arm then made its way to wrap around your waist before finally planting the another kiss, a bit longer than the previous ones.

As he pulled away, you slowly opened your eyes and met his. The first thing you recognized was his long lashes and the thick brows. That was the first time you were struck by how pretty he was. Still holding you close, his hand traveled to tuck some hair strands behind your ear.

"Seungcheol, I..."

"Keep it." He cut your words with another peck.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Utterly shocked by the presence of someone else, you turned your head abruptly only to find certain someone to be as surprised as you were. "Jisoo.." you mumbled his name, your eyes quivering looking at him with the rest of the guys who dropped their jaws. You hurriedly released yourself from Seungcheol's arms and stood up. Yet you didn't know what to do. Should you explain what just happened? But then what is there to explain? And why should you?

Joshua didn't speak a word after that. He just locked his fiery eyes at Seungcheol, probably waiting for him to say something. Jeonghan and the other guys were nervous at the tense situation that they wouldn't dare to open their mouths.

You took a glimpse at Seungcheol. He was just standing beside you, one hand on his waist and the other one brushing his fringe. He looked like he did nothing. As if nothing just happened.

Jeonghan initiated to break the silence. "Y/n, it's still raining outside. Mingyu will take you home. Is that alright?" he asked you softly, approaching you then very subtly and gently pulling you away from Seungcheol.

You hesitantly nodded, not sure if you could just leave without saying anything. But what would you say at this point? Once again, you stole a glimpse both at Seungcheol and Joshua and weakly said, "Okay." before Jeonghan, Soonyoung and Mingyu escorted you out.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen texts #seventeen au #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen fics #seventeen sm au #seventeen drabbles #seventeen joshua #seventeen scoups #joshua imagines #scoups imagines #joshua x reader #scoups x reader #svt imagines #post by yourblinkies #kpop fanfiction

57 notes · View notes

eddiealfano · 3 years

Text

Why I Finally Got This Stupid Vaccine

I finally got this stupid vaccine. Didn’t want it. Probably didn’t need it. But I got the stupid thing. I didn’t, “burst into tears of joy” as some of my more dramatic friends emotionally posted on Social Media after their vaccination. I didn’t worry that Bill Gates was one step closer to his grand plan to reduce the population, as some of my other dramatic friends warned me. I only felt apathy.

I am 45-years-old. I lift weights. I run sprints. I eat a diet consisting of food that is intended for human consumption. I do literally hundreds of things to take care of my personal health and well-being. I am the guy my friends call when they have questions related to all things fitness. I don’t believe in, “Western Medicine Solutions” for problems that can be solved naturally. Needless to say, I wasn’t excited to get a vaccine for something like Covid.

My Pandemic experience was probably different than yours. While I watched friends, neighbors and loved ones react in fear and hysteria, I had zero concern about getting Covid. I didn’t buy hand sanitizer. I didn’t “social distance’’ from anyone. I traveled frequently. I kept hugging my 84-year-old parents. I only wore those silly masks in situations where businesses required me to do so.

Am I reckless? Do I simply not care about humanity? Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m someone who realized very early on what this virus actually is: A disease of the metabolically unhealthy. Unfortunately, the Archaic Science of 2021 cannot figure that out. Or perhaps the Politics of 2021 won’t allow the Archaic Science of 2021 to figure that out. But it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to look at data readily available at Google.com to see that this disease astronomically disproportionately affects the elderly and the unhealthy.

Before the, “But you can still get it even if you’re healthy!!” crowd blows a gasket, I’m sure someone who fits my health profile could theoretically get hospitalized or even die from Covid. Just like they could get hit by a coconut falling from a palm tree. I don’t live in fear of those odds. I know people who’ve been hospitalized with Covid. I know people who’ve died. Not a single one of them was what I would term “healthy.” I haven’t even anecdotally heard a story of someone having a difficult time with Covid who met my definition of “Actually Healthy.” But that’s probably because less than 5-percent of Americans would meet my definition of “Actually Healthy.” And that’s a real problem. It’d be great if “The Science” were doing something to help solve that problem.

On that note, what about The Almighty Science? Here’s the thing: Historically, it’s wrong a lot. Especially when it comes to human health. If I trusted The Science, I’d still be eating a “heart-healthy” high-carb, low-saturated-fat diet as described by the wonderful Food Pyramid. I’d be avoiding egg yolks while enjoying my fat-free muffins and canola oil. Heck, I’d even be sure to minimize my consumption of the most nutrient-dense food known to man. That’s red meat, in case you were still trusting The Science and not trusting millions of years of human history, Intuition and Common Sense. Fortunately, I stopped blindly trusting The Science when it comes to my own health and it has made me much healthier than any Scientist or Doctor I’ve ever met.

I approached this Pandemic the same way I do Flu Season or any other time of year when, “something is going around.” I focused on taking care of my health and making myself a less desirable host for viruses. I didn’t turn other people into loaded weapons that could harm me. I didn’t cross the street when I saw a stranger walking my way. And I certainly didn't try to “kill the virus” with absurd solutions like hand sanitizer or Lysol spray.

So if I feel this strongly against the mainstream narrative regarding health and Covid, why did I get this stupid vaccine? Was it because of all the virtue signalling from Politicians and friends on Social Media telling me to, “do my part?” No, that just made me want it even less. I already “do my part” by keeping myself healthy and not falling victim to viruses in the first place. I don’t need someone eating a free Krispy Kreme Donut holding their vaccine card and telling me what I should do to keep America healthy. And I definitely don’t need someone who relies on Western Medicine for all their health concerns telling me how stupid the unvaccinated are.

So it must have been “The Highly Contagious Delta Variant” that finally made me get the vaccine, right? Do a shot every time you hear that phrase mentioned on the news and you’ll be passed-out drunk by 8:30 AM. And no, it wasn’t the highly contagious Delta variant. It’s clearly a weaker variant of Covid. I mean, trust The Science on that, right? I guess that’s the least interesting detail about the Delta Variant and why should we stop the media’s fear-mongering panic party just because of details?

So why did I end up getting this stupid vaccine?

Because I ultimately don’t think it’s that big of a deal. When I realized my future employers would more than likely be instituting vaccine mandates, I started researching how I could get a Religious exemption. I was ready to die on this hill of not letting people less healthy than me tell me how to take care of my body. But then I realized I was fighting a battle I didn’t even want to fight. Why was I suddenly so against getting a vaccine? I’d gotten every other mandated vaccine and never gave it much thought. Sure this one was rushed and it's for a disease I don’t fear, but that doesn’t change the fact that I do believe in vaccines and their importance to human history.

I’ve had lots of conversations with people in the “anti-vax” community. They range from some of the smartest, educated people in the Health & Fitness world to some of the craziest loons you will ever meet. There is a genuine conversation we should be having about vaccines, but it is getting hijacked by the wild conspiracy theories. Are there unknown side-effects to vaccines that the Archaic Science of 2021 does not understand? Of course there are. There’s no such thing as a “biological free ride.” You don’t get to use Western Medicine without consequences. This is true of antibiotics. It’s true of pain medications. It’s true of every aspect of Western Medicine, and that obviously includes vaccines.

But do I think vaccines will be the “smoking gun” that we find out about in the future and they wonder what in the hell those crazy folks back in 2021 were thinking? No. That will probably be cellphones. Or genetically modified foods. Or any number of the overly-prescribed prescription drugs half our population has no problem popping every day. I don’t know why we are singling out vaccines as “the thing.” We may eventually learn of new side-effects, but I don’t think they will be any worse than what we discover about all these other stupid things we currently have no problem doing.

I have good friends who don’t want to get this vaccine. A lot of people I love. And unfortunately, a lot of them are unhealthy. I mean, REALLY unhealthy. Some are cancer survivors. Some eat fast food every day. Some smoke cigarettes. Some take multiple prescription drugs. Whatever your thoughts on vaccines, for God’s sake, can we agree these people are better off with the unknown risks of the vaccine than the risk of getting Covid? I’ve been encouraging these friends to get the vaccine and it was making me feel like a hypocrite for not getting it myself. How can I recommend something, say it is mostly safe, but be unwilling to take it myself? And if the Conspiracy Theorists are right and Bill Gates IS out to get us… he’s going to get us. If not with the Covid vaccine, then with the next Windows update. Or he’ll poison our drinking water. We simply can’t win against an evil Bill Gates, folks.

So that’s why I got this stupid vaccine. I genuinely didn’t think it was worth all the energy I was putting into resisting it. I’m not one to back down from a battle, it’s just gotta be a battle I truly believe in.

I don’t care if you get vaccinated or not. I don’t need you to do so in order for me to feel safe. It should be your own personal decision. But have your reasons in line with the reality of the risks of vaccines and the risks of Covid itself. Or don’t. It’s ultimately your choice.

Stay healthy everyone.

#health fitness StayHealthy Meathead

2 notes · View notes

megbox · 3 years

Text

2020 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011)

2020 is a weird year because as the world goes through something collectively extremely traumatic and that is radically changing the structure of our lives, our workplaces, the way we connect socially, our mental health… our response to disease…. SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD…. And yet the day-to-day of living in a pandemic is so… mundane. I am privileged enough to have that opinion. I have stayed securely employed and it is privilege for my main reaction to something as intense as this pandemic to be boredom. But really, 2020 was a year of absences. It was a year spent largely alone, in my own company. It was a year that forced me to rest. It was a year that made me feel so terribly lonely but also forced me to get acquainted with myself and enjoy my own company in a new way. And it was a year of running.

I would also like to thank Connor for making this post happen by reminding me to do it and not to break tradition.

January & February

I am combining these months because they were not altogether all that memorable. My resolutions, as I noted on Twitter on January 2, were to 1) Keep running and 2) Learn how to make fresh pasta dough. I can safely say – mission accomplished on both fronts.

On January 14, I had the privilege of presenting a suicide intervention lecture to students at the medical school where my brother goes. By that time, I’d done a million of these presentations so nerves aren’t really a factor (imagine that! Me, no longer remotely afraid of public speaking…), but this one meant a little extra to me. My brother is so highly accomplished, and I am so proud of him, and I enjoyed having an opportunity to show him what I do and make him proud of me. I wore my favourite dress and did my hair all nice and he described it later as “exceptional.” It was a really, really good feeling. The first weekend of February, Ali and I had planned to go to Jasper. We wanted to go for a hike or two, and get super stoned and go to the planetarium. A huge blizzard hit Alberta just before we were supposed to leave, so we ended up having a staycation here in Calgary. We rented a hotel room, went swimming, drank wine, went to Japanese Village, had drinks in the lounge and then later to a punk rock band roulette night at the Palomino and finally crawled into our giant hotel bed and fell asleep to Remember the Titans… of all movies. It was the kind of night where you simultaneously feel 18 and 35 years old.

March

March was when the pandemic really started to become real. I don’t know exactly why, but I did not take the threat of coronavirus very seriously until the last minute. My coworkers would whisper about it in the hallways and I just rolled my eyes. But then, people started deciding they would work from home, the number of us in the office dwindled. The vibe was bad. Nobody could really focus. They held meetings at 8am and 4pm every day just for COVID-19 updates and we all waited with bated breath for them to finally tell us to go home and not come back. I really feel like I didn’t acknowledge the true implications of this virus until we got the official work from home order, and I had to tell my boss, my laptop at home is too old to run this software, I need a work tablet. My first official work from home day was March 23, 2020. I don’t remember much about that time except that the general sense of panic and anxiety made my job a lot busier, and it is hard to do a job like mine from home because it is hard to counsel or reassure clients through anxieties that are hitting you just as hard. I coped with wine, a lot of running, and listening to Ben Gibbard’s afternoon live streams where he would play acoustic versions of Death Cab songs and other covers. He played New Slang by the Shins one night and I burst into tears. I also coped with teaching myself how to make fresh pasta dough, and enjoying what was, at that point in the pandemic, the novelty and fun of Zoom.

April

In the absence of being able to have a party for my birthday, I decided to be obnoxious and do a “challenge” on my Instagram story. I asked my friends to record a distance run and/or walked and send it to me as a birthday present. My actual birthday ended up being a cold and windy and pretty miserable day. I ran 12km myself, came back home and watched both Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, and then went to my parents’ to celebrate both Scott and I’s birthdays with our family. My friends dropped off presents to my door and drove past my house and honked and I felt very loved and appreciated. I drank a lot of Prosecco with my brother and we listened to Kacey Musgraves.

It was also in April that I become “acquainted” with my neighborhood running nemesis. I put acquainted in apostrophes because I have never actually spoken to him. On one fateful run in April, I happened to catch up to him on my regular route. This was at the height of the COVID fear and so, while I would usually just pass someone on the sidewalk, I went out into the street. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and SPED UP. WHICH IS SUCH BAD RUNNER ETIQUETTE LIKE DUDE I’M IN THE ROAD LET ME PASS YOU. And then we ended up in this like, all-out 100m-finals-at-the-motherfucking-Olympics sprint challenge when all I was trying to do was go for a leisurely training run. And then I finally passed him, turned a corner and had to like collapse on to my hands and knees to catch my breath. Since then, I see this man running all the time. Sometimes while I am also running, sometimes from my car when I am driving through my neighborhood. He’s like… 16. And we are very competitive with one another. I hope to one day actually say hello to him. I both hate that guy and have to thank him for the motivation.

I ran my first half marathon on April 13, 2020. I was very hungover because I had stayed up quite late with someone on Zoom the night before on a virtual “first date” that had gone much better than anticipated. I don’t know why but I woke up the next morning in such a good mood that I decided I would go for a long, slow run. I got to 18km and figured, what’s 3.1 more? And so, I did it. The first thing I did upon finishing was call my mom. The second thing I did was contemplate calling an Uber to drive me the 2km left to my house. The other notable thing in April is that Maddy moved back from Australia, begrudgingly and a LOT earlier than planned, because of COVID.

May

May was kind of a blur. It was the first month of the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which I signed up for while coming off of the high of actually running a half marathon all by myself. The GVRAT was fucking awesome. It was created by Lazarus Lake, of Barkley Marathons fame. The ask is to run 1022.68km between May 1 and August 31, an average of about 8.3km per day. Well, you could run, walk, or hike. This is the actual distance it would take you to cover the state of Tennessee. Myself and about 20,000 other weirdos from around the world signed up for this challenge. I figured I would never get a chance to run in a Lazarus Lake race for real, and being home all the time opened up a lot more opportunity for training. It was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2020. So May involved a lot of running, because I was fresh and naïve and fully intended to be ahead of the curve. I was running about 10-12 per day, sometimes more, and not taking any rest days.

In between these runs, I spent a lot of time going on long, ambling quarantine walks with Maddy. We would either go for a long walk or she would come over and we would get absolutely hammered in my backyard playing beer pong just to pass the time. We would send snapchats to our exes and make TikToks like 18 year olds. I know we never really said it out loud but having eachother during this time made these months bearable. We were lamenting the loss of a summer, and Maddy’s time in Australia, and all of the expectations we had for ourselves. We were watching our friends in relationships move in together or get closer due to the quarantine. We needed companionship, and stupid things to laugh about, and love, and distraction. And I can genuinely say I would not have gotten through this quarantine period if it weren’t for the nights I spent shooting Pink Whitney and dancing to Party in the USA in my living room with her.

May 13th was my one year anniversary of working at the university. It felt good to have accomplished so many things in that time, and have moved up already in my job, and to have a full-time, permanent contract.

And May 16th was when I ran my second half-marathon as part of a virtual challenge put on by a friend of a friend. My parents came and sat in lawn chairs in the park while I did loops. They cheered me on and filled my water bottle for me when I ran out. They’re my number one supporters and I love having a family that does that kind of shit for me in the face of something arbitrary like a virtual half marathon challenge. I knocked 7 minutes (!) off my original time. Amazing what not being hungover can do for your fitness levels.

June

I don’t remember many important things about June, other than Maddy moving to Banff. It was depressing but I was also happy for her and happy to have an excuse to go out there and visit. I went the very first weekend after she moved. Halfway through June I seriously contemplated quitting the GVRAT. My shins were bruised, I was dreading every single run, and I could not fathom doing it for 2.5 more months. I was dragging behind in the standings and losing my motivation.

I spent a lot of time with friends reading in parks. Sometimes, often, with wine. I met a stranger in Canmore Park and ended up kissing him. He was lovely.

Ali and I had one really good day in June where we went to the Farmer’s Market and then came back to her place and watched Ru Paul’s drag race for like eight straight hours. It was one of those days where we hadn’t seen each other in so long and you just feel totally high off of friendship and absolutely everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. I vividly remember it as one of the best days of the year.

July

Again, July kind of passed in a blur. I did a lot of hiking, and a lot of running… keeping up with the GVRAT. I hiked Picklejar Lakes, Castle Mountain, Little Beehive Lookout.

I went to Banff for a weekend to hang out with Maddy. We had a predictably wild weekend with her roommates and friends. We had dinner at Chili’s (hell yeah) and then went to High Rollers for beers and bowling. The “thing to do” at that point for all of these Banff people was to meet at the “rec grounds” aka public firepits and drink. The police would generally leave you alone so long as you weren’t being rowdy. I sat next to an Australian named Josh at a picnic table and later took him back to my hotel room and he gave me the world’s most unbelievable obvious hickey. Maddy and I sweat out the tequila shots the next day with a long ass hike, and then had a nap before her brother came and took us climbing at the Sunshine slabs – an activity I was not very good at but I wanted to be good at. It was the kind of weekend where you feel like, okay, I definitely indulged my wild side. And you drive home just like totally exhausted but smiling. I sent Maddy’s brother a voice note on my way into town thanking him for taking us climbing and saying it was nice to see him.

August

Okay – August was actually really eventful. Like most of the year’s events happened in August, honestly. A lot of running and hiking. I did Ha Ling Peak for the first time, and we did a 30km hike to Aylmer Pass one day that was a fricken GRIND. I spent the long weekend in Saskatchewan. We went to a cidery, and I ran laps around my Dodo’s acreage, and then we got to visit Wakaw Lake and reunite with our old next-door neighbours. We took the boat out and went tubing and lit fireworks and had an amazing dinner and honestly it was like reliving my childhood in the best, best, best way. I fell asleep on the car ride home.

I went camping with Ali in Sylvan Lake. We got ice cream and cooked fish tacos over the campfire. She told me that Cody had a date planned for the day they took possession of their house, that she wondered if he might ask her to marry him but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case it didn’t happen and ruin what otherwise was supposed to be a celebratory day. Spoiler – he did ask her to marry him  I was running when she called me. I was listening to Epsilon by Kygo, and now when I hear that song I always think of them. I stopped my watch and just openly bawled on the street out of happiness for them.

Steven successfully defended his master’s thesis. We went camping in Waterton to celebrate with Matt, Kennedy, Regan, Scott, and Rie. They brought cake. We did a sunrise hike. I slept in the back of my Ford Escape.

On August 27, Ollie passed away. It was both expected and unexpected. He had been having some issues with seizures. The vet didn’t think it was anything to be too concerned about, he was old and it wasn’t uncommon for them to happen. It happened suddenly. I had a terrible sleep that night, and woke up in a cold sweat somewhere between 3 and 4 am. In the morning, my mom called me and told me the news. He had a giant seizure in the night and was crying and yelping. They woke up and took him to the emergency vet, they made the executive call to put him down to prevent any further suffering. He died right around the time I woke up in the middle of the night. I like to think that was his way of saying goodbye, maybe. I cried all day. Well, let’s be honest, I cried all week. I burst into tears at the mere thought of him. He was such a good and lovely dog. He was so loved by us. He had a good life. It is always sad when we lose pets so early. They bring so much joy to our lives, and still when I go to my parents’ place the first thing I want to do is call for him or pet him. I hope he is running around in whatever the pet afterlife is. I miss him.

And on August 31, I ran my last kilometre of the GVRAT. I finished with 733.78 run, 83.18 hiked, and 205.09 walked.

September

September was a nice break from running. I got to start coming to campus one day a week, on Thursdays, which was good for my mental health and work productivity. I got to spend September long in Vernon with Maeghan and Madison at Michael’s family’s cabin. They took us boating and made us meals and didn’t judge us for drinking margaritas with Michael’s sister literally all day. It was the best. It was the epitome of every summer weekend you dream about. I was so happy I got to go.

I met a boy in September. It’s always September, isn’t it? It feels weird to write about him. Like, that makes him significant. But. He is significant. And I met him in September. And it was unexpected. Last minute. And essentially not a day has gone by since that day in September that I have not thought about him.

I also joined a Calgary Sport and Social Club team with my friends for softball and it started in September. We played two games and then I tore my hamstring running from second to third base. I tore… my hamstring…. Running like 30 metres…. After a summer of literally running 10+ km every day. I… it was the worst day ever. Softball itself was amazing and so fun even though I really do suck at the sport but highly recommend Rec League C-level beer league softball with all of your best friends. There’s just no way that isn’t fun.

October

A lot of pouting about my hamstring, I went to two physio sessions and then decided to just start running again. I’m bad. I’m a bad example. Don’t do what I do… but also…. It worked.

I went to Victoria to visit Sydney over the Thanksgiving weekend. We went to a Thanskgiving potluck party at my old coworker’s place. It was a nice experience to be the new people at a party, to have a room full of new people to meet and who ask you questions about your life. We got really drunk and they tried setting Sydney up with one of their roommate’s brothers, and gave us lipstick to try, and poured us tequila shots. We had such an amazing meal. It was honestly so fun. We laughed in the cab the whole way back about how we were going to need to debrief that evening HARD the next morning. We watched a lot of All Gas No Brakes, and went for dinner and brunch and I limped up Mount Doug with my hamstring. It was a very very chill weekend, like we spent a lot of time just lounging at Sydney’s apartment and doing nothing. Because that is the kind of friends we are. It was so relaxing and lovely. I was sad to leave.

Karla, my roommate, left for New York at the end of October. Her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she and her mom made the executive move to go there to basically be with her for the end of her life. She wasn’t going to be back until December. I was happy, because it’s nice to have a place to myself, but also sad because Karla is lovely and I knew it was going to be a stressful situation for her.

November / December

I am combining these two months because they have also been largely uneventful. In fact… I don’t know if I could really tell you anything significant that happened. We’ve been in a lockdown. I’ve spent my time playing piano, watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, basically doing all of the things I usually do when I’m bored. Lots of Among Us. Lots of outdoor things… skating… more running. We’ve been in a lockdown since early December. Time has dragged on since then. I spent Christmas with my parents. Scott and Rie stayed isolated, because Scott is in and out of the hospital for school. My mom and I watched shitty Christmas Hallmark movies and made fun of the guys who star in them. We drank a LOT on Christmas Eve and both spent Christmas with a wicked hangover. My dad and I ate edibles and I was launched into the stratosphere. I spent New Year’s Eve with Boy from September. We played beer pong, and card games, and he tried to use a coat hangover to pick the lock on the mysterious room that my landlord keeps locked. We spent most of the night kissing, honestly. I was happy to spend the last moments of the year with him.

2021:

Honestly... at this point... who really knows?

#year in review #text #personal #2020

10 notes · View notes

oxbridge-quality-fanfiction-co · 4 years

Text

The Spring of Burning Forests: Chapter 10/10 ❤️ (Geraskier)

A happy ending with Jaskier? The idea is inconceivable, really. Impossible.

But it’s at least worth a try.

Read on AO3.

For a full summary, see this post. Go here if you want to start from the first chapter.

Big thanks to @booichiboo, @sdmcburney, @goshdraws, Rita, @valdomarx, @carmillacarmine, @thelastsock, @katesierra @ro-the-bard-writer @geraskierficrecs ❤️ Dedicated to @variousnoises.

No more updates, of course, but I have a Geralt Fluff Week entry coming up on the 4th August.

Here’s the first scene:

The closed border meant customers were scarce, and the inn was nearly empty. The place had an unsettling, ghostly feel. As they walked through the front door, Jaskier had glanced at the name, The World’s End, stopped for a moment, and stared at it.

It was as if a premonition hit him, eyes wide, hope draining from his face.

Geralt wasn’t eager for them to go into their rooms, having bad premonitions of his own. He was convinced things were about to turn bad and hated the uncomfortable wait much more than he ever hated a confrontation. A tongue-tied Jaskier was not something he was prepared for. Not as bad as a self-sacrificing Jaskier, for sure, but bad nevertheless.

No way he could stay quiet that long and yet, they got as far as an awkward climb up the stairs, the steps creaking underneath their feet, without a single world from Jaskier still.

At the top of the stairs there was a long corridor. All doors were open, not a single soul in sight. They stood in front of their respective rooms, almost ready to go in when, finally, Jaskier broke the silence.

‘That was… something.’

Geralt was relieved to hear him talk. Not interested in reliving the experience, he wanted to skip right to the point. Only the point proved difficult to discern, let alone skip to.

‘Listen, I know you…’ Geralt hesitated, and his voice was unusually raspy.

He barely started and was already getting frustrated, unable to articulate any fucking thing.

Jaskier seemed startled by that beginning.

‘No, Geralt. You really don’t need to...’ he paused, flustered.

‘No, I really think I should.’

‘Just forget it,’ he blurted, sounding more insistent than he intended. ‘It’s not like I was hiding this before. It was far from a dark secret.’ He seemed slightly amused by the idea but his smile was sad.

‘No, but-’ Geralt started again, and Jaskier stopped him.

‘It was pretty obvious. And because you didn’t seem to see it that way, I just…’ He didn’t quite know how to describe what he ‘just’ did. ‘But I did try. And even at minimum you were finding it…’ he considered a couple of options before arriving at ‘…intrusive.’

‘Sure.’ Geralt nodded lightly.

He was just about ready to continue but Jaskier wouldn’t let him.

‘So don’t worry about it.’ Jaskier took a deep breath. ‘I mean, regardless of what you might think, I wouldn’t have said anything. It’s just that today…’ He was getting agitated by the memory. ‘Well, in my wildest dreams I wouldn’t have been able to imagine a shitshow of such magnificent proportions. To be fair, I had no clue I’d be capable of that… but I just really went with it, didn’t I?’

He seemed to find that half tragic, half funny.

‘And I’m glad I did,’ he concluded, confidently. ‘Even if it was all just a morbid joke to them. Even seeing what I saw. And even if it made this the perfect time for you to state you don’t want me. Like, out loud, directly, using words, not through whatever-the-fuck you did before… looks, stares, grunts, movements, sighs… any physical manifestation available, I suppose.’

Geralt grunted uncomfortably in response, and Jaskier just nodded, resigned.

‘Exactly... although,’ he started again, remembering a distant mountaintop, ‘I can recall some words. Quite a few, actually. I guess that task required extra measures. And it wasn’t to this exact end but it was pretty close. There was a significant proximity to the issue at hand, there, I’d say. So it’s not like I wasn’t aware of what you were trying to convey. You can’t exactly surprise me now. It’s not the most important thing, really.’

He suddenly realised something, and blinked a few times, obviously unsettled by the idea.

‘I definitely didn’t do this to exert any pressure,’ he added, quickly. ‘I’m not hoping for anything. I’m not…’ He stopped himself from saying ‘delusional’, worried he might be making the situation worse. ‘I just didn’t want you to die. That’s all. That’s hardly a horrible crime.’

He was just about ready to finish but then hesitated a bit, knowing his effectiveness was highly questionable.

‘It seemed like the right strategy at the time,’ he said in the attempt to justify himself. ‘It was worth a shot. I did the right thing. I’d do it again, if needed. I guess it makes me a bit more useful.’ He realised he was starting to sound bitter. ‘You’ve always been a great friend, Geralt. You did so much for me. So…’ he did his best to sound perky but failed ‘…does this even matter?’

‘I think it-’ Geralt started but Jaskier didn’t let him finish.

‘I know you don’t feel the same way. You’ve made that abundantly clear… in hundreds of ways… for years. So you don’t have to worry as far as clarity is concerned.’

It didn’t take long for Jaskier to get worked up. He just kept going, and his discussion with himself was becoming increasingly heated.

‘And it’s not like this changes anything now, right? Or does it?’ He wondered for a second. ‘Are you going to leave because of it?’ He didn’t wait for an answer, his thoughts running ahead at a frantic pace. ‘Fuck… I said it out loud and we’re done now, aren’t we?’

He seemed shocked by the realisation.

‘Jaskier-’

‘It doesn’t matter that I… I mean, regardless of what I implied before… and what I did, sure. Why would you want me whining in your ear, now that you know? Feeling guilty… and for something nobody should feel guilty about, by the way,’ he sighed, his frustration slowly transforming back into sadness.

‘Ja-’

‘But can I change anything by saying this?’ he just kept going. ‘No… You might feel like you’re not doing the right thing by staying, regardless. And we can’t have that.’

He was now upset by his imaginary conversation with Geralt, who was just slowly coming to terms with the fact that he was not allowed to participate.

‘Well, it’s not your fault,’ Jaskier continued. ‘It’s quite certainly beyond our control. If I did have a choice in this matter… you know, ehm… there are safer, less deadly, more welcoming options out there. Let’s face it.’

Geralt just blinked a few times and Jaskier nodded as if he was trying to convince himself.

‘Although, none of them is…’ Jaskier threw a glance at Geralt and stopped, weirdly shy all of a sudden, backtracking again. ‘Regardless... my ideal romantic adventures do not involve waiting to hear that your dead-crisp-of-a-body was discovered in the forest, or putting my life on the line, just to find out it was actually some fucked up game. And yet, the consequences are real and now I have to…’

He suddenly realised something.

‘While also knowing that, of course…’ He slowed down, his mind racing again. ‘None of this would have happened if you…’ He stopped.

‘If I what?’ Geralt was glad to finally break through the flood of words.

Jaskier didn’t dare to say it.

‘I meant what I said to her, you know,’ he started again. ‘I really did. But there are those days when… sometimes I believe the bullshit she spews. Because it’s hard… it’s like, fucking… swimming against the current from morning till night. It’s pushing, and prodding, and trying. It’s… Sometimes you’re a bit much, Geralt.’

‘I’m a bit much?’ Geralt’s confusion was turning into anger. ‘I didn’t make any of this happen. I never asked-’

‘But the way you treat me… sometimes. It’s like I’m nothing more than an annoying child.’

‘That’s because sometimes you act like one.’ Geralt raised his voice in anger. ‘I told you to leave. What the fuck were you thinking?’

Jaskier was genuinely hurt this time.

Geralt felt a sudden pang of guilt which almost stopped him.

‘Everything I’ve done was to avoid what just happened,’ Geralt continued. ‘Let alone what could have happened. But no matter what I do… there you are. It’s like you have a fucking death wish. It’s like you want me to give you a hard time.’

‘I have a death wish? And I want...’ Jaskier laughed, sounding borderline hysterical.

He shook his head in pure frustration.

‘Yes, you.’ Geralt was getting carried away, and decided to just give into it, no reservations. ‘Has it ever occurred to you that you ask for too fucking much?’

‘I never asked for anything. I offered.’

‘Don’t fucking start…’ Geralt raised his voice again and Jaskier flinched slightly. ‘All you do is want and ask. Every time I look at you… you’re like a fucking human-shaped question mark. A ball of fucking need and hope, demanding more than I can give.’

‘But I just…’ Jaskier stared at Geralt for a moment, looking as if he was slapped in the face.

Geralt hated the sight. The thought that he just finished what Aliya had started crossed his mind. And he did a good fucking job too.

Jaskier looked much more hurt and shocked than he had under the threat of a sword. He blinked a few times, shaking slightly.

‘How did we even get here, hm?’ Jaskier asked, his voice faint. ‘Not that bloody long ago, I was perfectly happy...’ He was determined to get back on track, and desperate to ignore Geralt’s last words ‘...chasing after women who like my singing. This…’ Both his hands motioned towards Geralt. ‘This… was far from my plan, believe me.’

He sighed angrily, but his voice was breaking again. His mind was working against him, frantically replaying Geralt’s words. He forced himself to speak again.

‘I could cope at first, I really could. But then… I honestly don’t know how.’ He stopped, realised what he was doing and got angry with himself. ‘What am I even saying? Why am I even...’ His breath turned shaky.

He stared at Geralt. It was clear he was craving some reassurance. Perhaps he was still hoping Geralt would take back what he said. He was strangely disoriented as if he was genuinely surprised by his own response, and disappointed with the both of them.

Geralt just stood there, confused.

‘I’m sorry…’ Suddenly Jaskier seemed exhausted and resigned like a long-distance runner giving up a few meters before the finish line. ‘It’s not fair. What I’m doing. What we’re both doing, I suppose. It’s not fair. And I just can’t… anymore.’

He rubbed his temples and started again.

‘Back there, I’ve said enough. And I can’t take it back now, can I?’ He looked down, and his voice was growing weaker and quieter by the second. ‘And I did mean every word.’

He punched out the last words with determination and strain as if admitting that again was more difficult than it was before.

‘I guess,’ he whispered to himself before speaking up again. ‘I just wish I could feel this way about someone who...’ He stopped again, feeling like there was a wall slowly growing between them. ‘Or, at least, who could appreciate…’

He shook his head, and closed his eyes for a moment.

‘Listen-’ Geralt started but Jaskier just shook his head in response.

‘Well, emerging from this with a broken heart rather than a broken neck is, in itself, a success of a kind.’ He laughed and it was the saddest laugh Geralt has ever heard. ‘I really don’t know what the fuck I was thinking...’ he said, gasping for air a bit ‘...all this time.’

He was clearly on the verge of tears but managed to stay calm, his breathing restricted.

‘Jaskier…’

‘No, don’t. I’ve had enough already.’ He moved away from him and walked into his room. ‘This is what we’re going to do,’ he stated, his tone of voice suddenly assertive. ‘We’re going into these lovely, separate rooms, having an uneventful, restful night, and tomorrow… we probably should say goodbye and go our separate ways. Goodnight.’

He shut the door in front of Geralt’s surprised face.

Read more on AO3.

17 notes · View notes

ending-myworld · 3 years

Text

do you ever feel like your life is a cycle of bad decision, make up for it... only to then make another bad decision?

my first post, and I’m afraid it’s not a light one. in my life, I find myself in a constant battle with my ability to rationalise good and bad decisions.

I’ve always been a person who is easily influenced. as a teenager and in my early 20′s. this developed to the point of taking drugs, smoking regularly, drinking, and generally other self-destructive behaviour. the issue is, I would always realise when I’d made a grave mistake, that it was a mistake (or a bad choice), and then attempt to make amends with the person or thing that was affected, only to make the same choice again...

that cycle has cost me dearly throughout the years, monetarily, relationships, friendships... everything. simultaneously, I’m almost attacking my own consciousness and broadly, my mental health. at the time of writing this, I can conclusively say that I have just lost the most important person in my life. the worst part is that undeservedly, as well as the guilt, I just plainly feel sorry for myself. I feel hopelessly stuck in this insane cycle, but more on that later.

the thing is, I’m not a stupid guy. my internal assessment of my decision making process is simple. I know what is right, and what is wrong. I know what I want, and what I do not want. but the mystery is that I still make decisions that have catastrophically negative impacts on the things that are ‘right, and that I ‘want’. It’s almost as if, in the moment, I don’t realise the severity or potential consequences of my actions and ultimately result in the loss of my access to such things.

this blog would be longer than the bible if I were to to disseminate all of the bad choices I’ve made in my life. to be honest, maybe a bit of god in my life would be helpful.

I would be lying if I said that I didn’t know quite how dearly these decisions would cost me, because I do. the confusing thing is, I understand the consequences of my actions every single time, and I still proceed as if it’s not a big deal, in the moment.

this assessment is true every time I go out with friends. “oh, it’s just one cigarette, it’s fine”. “just one more drink, it’s fine...”.

and in this case, on this crucially important day in my life, and just as things were going well in my relationship, I fucked up again. the last time I fucked up, it was Christmas, I smoked while out with friends, my partner HATES smoking, and understandably. that took a long time to fix. prior to that, it was to do with my habit for going out and coming home late.

this was a regular occurrence and something which shares synchronicity with the crux of this post. fundamentally, in the moment, I just don’t think rationally about the cost of me making that choice. I habitually bury my head in the sand and deal with the consequences after. It’s pathetic behaviour, and to be honest, I am proud to say that part of me has been in the past for a number of months.

and life has been good. It has been so good. My partner and I have had fun in lockdown, being silly together and playing chess, just generally making the most of our time together. I have absolutely loved and cherished every single moment we’ve spent together - and I have shown that too.

then today, this morning. I was scrolling through my Facebook stories as I do sometimes, and I come across a story post from a girl called Myra. now, this is not someone I have ever met in my life, nor is it someone I would ever want to meet, or even engage in conversation with, and that’s the truth. this is just someone who I happened to come across while scrolling.

something within me made me like... no, love heart her photo.

WHY? why? why would I do that. I could think of nothing worse than engaging in a conversation with any other woman apart from my girlfriend. I have genuinely been so happy in my life, and I made a choice to disrespect my partner for absolutely no rhyme or reason.

now, this is something I completely forgot about. about two hours later, my partner came upstairs telling me she felt poorly. out of interest, she took a pregnancy test. we’ve been trying for a baby for the past few months at this point. to my absolute surprise and delight, it came back positive.

to say I was excited would be an understatement. my thoughts immediately turned to making a plan financially, providing for the family by keeping my second job which I was originally going to stop, looking after her through this pregnancy. any thought of this random post I liked on Facebook was well out of my mind.

then, as I was on the phone to my Mum upstairs, my laptop open with Facebook messenger downstairs, she sees the message on my laptop and came upstairs to rightly confront me about it.

what is there to say? how do I compartmentalise or even rationalise that decision? I was filled with such anger and disappointment with myself. I know how big of a deal this is, but again, in the moment, I did not see it that way.

I found out today that the most important person in my whole world is pregnant with my child, and how did I respond? with huge slap of disrespect. as I type this, I’m at home with our puppy, she’s at her Mum’s, making the decision to leave me.

my words mean nothing anymore. I have cried, and lied, and begged her to stay with me when I’ve fucked up in the past. but then I do the same thing again. I am finding it so hard to understand myself, because the one true thing in my life is the genuine love I have for this girl, she’s everything to me

so what now?

am I even allowed to feel the way I feel? do I deserve to feel utter disappointment and sadness, to the point of taking my own life? that’s a selfish thought process, but it’s genuinely how I feel. I feel entangled in a maze of bad decisions that have had no outcome but to lead me down a path of unhappiness and loneliness, and honestly, I deserve to feel this way. I have brought nothing but sadness to a truly wholesome and exciting day. this should have been the most exciting day of our lives together - to be remembered forever

and now?

I can’t even share this day with the person that means the most to me in the whole wide world, and it’s all my fault.

and why am I here? that’s another important question. well, quite frankly, I have nowhere else to turn, no one else to communicate this with. this is an endless cycle of behaviour that I am not able to fix.

this evening, I was actually able to make a decision I can be sure of. I joined a well known clinic that supports assisted suicide. I feel comfortable and calm in my decision to end my own life. and paying the fee gave me a huge sense of relief. I finally feel like I have control in my decision making.

no one in my life has benefited from their social or personal interaction with me, and I am not comfortable with having a war with myself for the rest of my life so,

look, this post is candid, and as honest as it can be. right now, I have made peace with this decision, which has not been made out of selfishness, rather my desire to be at peace with myself, but also for other people to be at peace with me, and the awful decisions I have made in my life.

I am open to questions or comments. I am aware that this post, based on the fact that the day started with my own bad decision, may come across as attention seeking - I can assure you it is not. but it is helpful to have a platform where I can anonymously share my journey, and provide regular updates on my condition, and ultimately I intend to share my last post on my last day.

this is a sure thing, so anyone who wants to join my journey is welcome to do so, I will share details of my meetings with doctors.

I’d like to close by admitting full responsibility for the decisions I made that led me to this point in my life. I, and I alone, chose this. I chose this all along, I just didn’t realise it.

#bad choices #bad decisions #suicide

1 note · View note

rogueshipagogo · 4 years

Text

ppl have been asking me my opinions on space channel 5 vr... and i guess since i bought a vr headset off craigslist just so i could play it and speedrun it before work the day it came out... i should talk abt it now... i dont rly think i’ll be able to separate it into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ things i think i’m just going to do a rambly stream of consciousness bc i have a headache... but i DO have good things to say abt this game... so st.... sta stay t tune d

right off the bat, the thing i appreciate most abt this game- i like that space channel 5 vr doesnt have cash grab vibes. i Do genuinely believe that they Wanted to make this game For the people who are still obsessed with it, and that they ultimately did what they set out to do when they intended to scale certain aspects of the series up conceptually to match the way the fandom perceives it nowadays. but like i’ve said before... i’m not going to Disagree with the very common conclusion that it Needed to be longer, or at Least more intricate plot-wise. one of my fun and fresh excuses for sc5vr being as short as it is is because you arent really supposed to be playing vr games for too long anyways, its really disorienting and kinda painful, but even that doesn’t account for why so much of the game that we got is a rehash of old settings, concepts, songs, and characters. [i dont even have a problem with reusing old songs, i just think the ones they chose ended up being misleading]

for example i think it makes sense that the first report is a remake of the first games first report on the surface, it’s meant to take you back to the way the first game felt and give you an idea of what it means that the games classic scenery can be rendered in actual high quality detail now [same with the recurrence of events like encountering the space pirates in the asteroid belt/the last battle against a villain being singing to it about what it’s done wrong], but i really thought, like, report 1 was going to end up being a simulated scenario for the benefit of lou and kee’s training... which i dont think ended up being the case??? i think they really did write ‘ok here you are in the first game’s setting again, fighting the old enemies again, because... :^) ok have fun playing report 2!’

and then whats report 2... you fight another old boss from the first game... but theres Still no clear villain or motivation for anything thats happening... and there wont be until like... basically the end of the game...

like, glitter is a really cute character, but its kind of underwhelming that shes just a random citizen who was kidnapped by an entity that we NEVER LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT... like part 1 was extremely notable for being about corporate greed and corruption, part 2 honestly wasnt that political in comparison but at least made you do a think wrt purge’s motivation and his methods, and this game just has a plot device that feels like it’ll do smth but then ends up not doing anything beyond what we already learned about it from the information on its character bio before the game was out. if it turns out that cell x is actually relevant again in a future entry in the franchise and they do have a more developed concept for what cell x Is in mind, i’ll do an entire backflip, but for now its just chalked up to being the result of More Space Hijinks that dont need to be explained

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE ALLUSIONS TO CELL X BEING AN ENTITY THAT FEEDS OFF OF DANCE ENERGY... it had me thinking that there would have to be some New Method of fighting it off that didn’t just lend it more power in the process, but nah apparently just tacking on the disclaimer ‘*this dance energy is not for glitter’ is enough to turn it from smth it can consume for power into big attacks you can use to kill it... like honestly it sounds like im asking for a lot from a game that has Never made too much sense, but considering that in part 2 they could add details like ‘oh didnt you know purge can open pocket dimensions? ulala is capable of manifesting tangible dance energy and the only other person who can do that is purge???’, its not like they havent come up with weird new shit for dance energy to do within the plot before. they just didnt do it in this game fsr

like did anyone else think that cell x/glitter was going to be the result of tossing purge out into deep space and him encountering the sc5 universe’s equivalent of an eldritch alien creature, smth more bestial than morolians?? even if purge wasnt part of it, when you say ‘uh oh, this guy Eats this society’s only source of energy!!!’ i expect the stakes to get HIGH, and i want the ramifications of it to be kinda STARTLING, because blank wanted money and purge wanted to ritualistically end the world but something this near to an ecological disaster that would force an entire paradigm shift hasn’t occurred yet in the series?? its totally new!!! there’s a lot they could do with this but OH DONT WORRY ABOUT IT EVERYONE ulala knows how to make dance energy kill cell x instead of feed it she’s got this we’re good no need to investigate more into all that

i can’t explain why the game is like this. and i dont expect grounding to address it in any meaningful way either. i’m sure they’re Aware of these complaints by now- the game reviewing community has Not been kind to sc5vr specifically due to all of these shortcomings [i didnt even touch on the issues with motion sensing and how many of the games mechanics were removed in favor of smth presumably easier to program yet much less satisfying, like Secret Moves just being mini quicktime events and Turning Your Ratings Into Stars just being replaced with the standard Three Strikes You’re Out method of scoring], but the pr team still seems very enthusiastic abt the game and is still promising dlc and potentially even more games in the series after this one- heres hoping that they’ll at least take these grievances to heart and consider making the experience not only more accessible [aka it will... go back to being a rhythm game with controller input.... and not... an exclusive vr experience...], but also as immersive and detailed as the old games, with less reused plot beats. i can let some of it off the hook in this game simply because i’m aware that it began its life as a tech demo that was only supposed to be that initial first report from the first game But Happening All Around You!, but i Really dont think they could get away with doing this little to expand upon the groundwork set by the first two games again. not with the way people remember part 2 being such a vast upgrade from part 1... the bar had been set so high that this just felt like a huge backslide into something even sillier and harder to take seriously than part 1 before we had any idea what kind of staying power the franchise would have as a hallmark of sega’s quirky antics. like... this game is what i think space channel 5 looks like to people who don’t understand the appeal of the first two games. and that scares me

but i guess for the most part, aside from wishing they had done more to revitalize the setting and the lore of the sc5 universe itself, im kind of glad it didnt do a lot to change the existing storylines the characters have kinda forged for themselves- here i was stressing out that they would pull out some plot development that would utterly and drastically change the way we talked abt the series for the rest of time, but so little happened and so little was added to the bank of sc5 lore that we can kind of all just carry on as usual and keep having the same headcanons we always had.

BUT!!! there ARE a lot of cute little details here and there that make the experience feel wholesome and like i said not an utter cashgrab- like so many of the character profiles referencing previous games [all of the references to npcs in this game being relatives of the npcs of the last games made me lose it] and how often ulala changes her expressions up and looks right at you and talks to you. the new music they wrote for the game also all slaps and everyones redesigns [if they got a redesign... rip pudding] are stunning

one of the most important things they did in this game was give a nice sort of Update to every character.... for example explaining that ulala isn’t a rookie reporter any more like she was in the first 2 games, that she’s moved up to being in charge of training new channel 5 reporters, and that while pudding is still somewhat stuck on her rivalry with ulala her career isn’t stagnant either, she was just cast in a romcom series as the lead... which is really nice considering how in the past she was portrayed as somewhat of a loser with almost no remaining fans left from her idol years

and you knew i was going to bring up jaguar at some point HES ALL OVER THIS GAME AND IT LITERALLY MADE ME FEEL LIKE MY LIFE WAS WORTH POWERING THROUGH THESE LAST FEW YEARS AND ALSO LIKE IM A GENIUS FOR SPENDING SO LONG POSTING EVERY SINGLE DAY ‘NO REALLY, HE’S THE SECONDARY PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY, ITS ABOUT CHANNEL 5 AS A COMPANY AND THEIR IMPACT ON EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER ENCOUNTERED THEM AND THAT INCLUDES JAGUAR AS WELL AS ULALA HES INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT BC SHE WOULDNT BE ALIVE IF IT WEREN’T FOR HIM’ i feel like it’s really incredible how in this game he has genuinely nice energy and doesnt withhold praise from ulala just to be helpful in a mysterious way later and he like HAS FRIENDS now. like consider how he went from disgraced former ch5 employee who got mad every time he saw them, to kidnapped robot henchman kinda humbled by the fact that now the turns tabled and ulala had to rescue Him, and now 3 years later his bio is all about how he has a new tv show thats super popular and he has a new entourage of ladies who he considers his '’’’’’comrades’’’’’’’ within the station he founded??? AND AFTER 20 YEARS THEY WERE FINALLY ABLE TO GIVE HIS MODEL JUICY ASS CHEEKS??????????????? NO MORE PANCAKE BOOTY???? THE BOY HAD A GLOWUP AND NO I WONT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT

WHEN I SAY MEOW MATCH THE POSE MOTHERFUCKERS THIS BLONDE BASTARD GETS TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE HUNDRED STAGE BATTLE NOW TOO THIS IS THE YEAR OF THE SPACE PIRATES BAYBEE

#its almost 4 am. idk i will probably have more to say tomorrow. my head still hurts #the galaxy depends on my funky moves

9 notes · View notes

best-laptops-for-running-a-busin · 4 years

Text

PC Buying Guide for Small Business

There are a lot of top-10 records out there for individuals who need a brisk reference for the best work workstations available, however this PC purchasing aide will show you how to purchase PCs the shrewd way, without depending on the (frequently supported) assessments of another person. Try not to be concerned on the off chance that you have next to zero technical support or constrained understanding – when you know the stray pieces of what makes a decent PC, the shopping procedure will be significantly less overpowering.

This purchasing guide is intended to be worked through bit by bit and considers general equipment best practices check here.

Stage 1: Set your innovation spending plan and improve your shopping system.

The most ideal approach to advance your tech spending is to set an unmistakable financial plan before shopping. As you set your financial plan, make certain to consider not just the general sum you're willing to spend yet how that will amortize over the quantity of workstations you'll purchase. At the point when business visionaries don't set a financial plan before shopping, particularly for innovation, they frequently wind up overspending or underspending. Few out of every odd business needs an armada of best in class machines, and it's an exercise in futility to think about significant expense alternatives in the event that they sometimes fall short for your main concern. Then again, underspending can wind up costing you more over the long haul on the off chance that you don't get what your workers need the first run through around.

One well known way to deal with tech planning is to receive various levels of gadgets dependent on client needs. For instance, it might be beneficial to jump on extravagance Dell machines for your C-suite executives and dev group, midrange Dell workstations for your expert staff, and passage level Dells for help staff. It's prudent to adhere to a couple of makers to rearrange upkeep and cell phone the executives (MDM) later on. Consequently, it's ideal to keep tech buying choices in the possession of few elevated level workers and not open the discussion to your whole staff.

Truth be told, the simplest administration approach is to have just a single unique hardware producer and a few model varieties. In the event that you have innovative aces ready, however, you will probably wind up embracing two sorts of machines, since creatives regularly require expensive Macs (which are not normally essential for different workers).

In case you don't know how to find some kind of harmony among cost and quality, look at our breakdown of PC spending ranges and decide your range dependent on the sorts of representatives you have:

$300 and under: In the $300 and lower go, you'll discover low-end Chromebooks and Windows machines solely. We don't suggest PCs at this value point for business clients, as they ordinarily have modest form quality, constrained capacity and moderate execution. In any event, for light business use, you can improve.

$350 to $599: In this value run, you'll find fair Windows workstations and great business Chromebooks. The explanation Chromebooks are better than Windows machines in this range is on the grounds that they have far less stockpiling (which is costly), so they can remain at a low cost without yielding on construct and show. In any case, you should just buy a work PC in this value run for staff that sticks to fundamental assignments, for example, utilizing Microsoft Office, posting via web-based networking media and perusing the web. For help staff with restricted necessities, similar to receptionists and colleagues, this value range might be sufficient.

$600 to $900: Most expert business clients' needs can be met in the $600 to $999 value go. Clients ought to experience no difficulty getting the memory and capacity they need just as an amazing enough processor for business performing multiple tasks at this level. Work workstations in this classification frequently include business-class security highlights, for example, unique finger impression scanners, and they will in general have great battery life, agreeable consoles and decent shows.

$1,000 and up: For $1,000 or more, you can get a PC that is significantly more impressive or convenient than those in the less expensive value sections. Premium ultraportable models, for example, Dell's XPS 13, offer quick execution in an incredibly smooth bundle. Cumbersome, ground-breaking workstations likewise fall into this classification and range from $1,500 to $3,000 or more. This is the best value run for your capacity clients, similar to your dev group, plan group and C-level executives who need to extend a specific picture.

Since your financial plan is set, channel your future quests dependent on cost. In any event, seeing PC models outside of your value run is a formula for budgetary calamity, so stay away.

Stage 2: Choose a working framework.

Except if you're ready to spend in any event $1,300 per PC, you'll be picking between the Chrome and Windows working frameworks, yet there are three essential working frameworks, and you should know the contrasts between every one of them. On the off chance that, in the wake of perusing these depictions, you are as yet uncertain which working framework to choose, pick Windows. Windows is as yet the business standard around the world, and you are probably not going to lament the choice.

Apple OS X

PCs that run Apple's OS X convey powerful sticker prices, however beyond words Apple fans are happy to pay a premium for a lovely machine with a very much structured interface. Generally, innovative experts supported Apple workstations for their high screen quality, work keys, and capacity to run high-octane projects, for example, Avid, Maya and Dreamweaver.

Numerous inventive stars despite everything buy workstations from Apple, yet it's not, at this point considered the go-to mark, particularly since late MacBook Pros have highlighted less RAM than past models and appear to be more centered around speaking to a mass crowd than a specialty.

Regardless of whether you pick a machine running Apple OS X or not is for the most part up to individual inclination and the amount you're happy with spending. The main genuine special case to this standard is if your business happens to utilize a product item that can just sudden spike in demand for Mac. While this situation is getting more uncommon, you ought to consistently get some information about conceivable working framework and programming similarity issues before purchasing new workstations. A few organizations additionally pick Apple OS machines for the picture they anticipate, and in the event that you are in a field where looks matter and developing a luxury vibe is critical to your customers, that might be a substantial decision.

Windows 10 OS

As we previously referenced, Windows is the norm for work PC working frameworks. On the off chance that you go with a Windows OS, you'll have a larger number of PCs to browse than if you go for Chrome OS or Apple OS X. There are Windows machines accessible in each design and value go conceivable, which implies you can be really meticulous (inside your financial plan, obviously).

Windows 10, the most recent rendition of the working framework, accompanies a bunch of new highlights that can help your efficiency. Cortana, Microsoft's menial helper, can play out a wide range of assignments, for example, planning arrangements and checking the climate. At that point there's Task View, which lets you set up different virtual work areas for simpler performing various tasks.

The fundamental advantage to picking Windows is recognition. It's exceptionally far-fetched that your representatives have never utilized a Windows PC, and most IT experts (even those with restricted understanding) realize how to offer help for Windows gadgets. Convenience is a significant piece of business tech appropriation, and the normal office laborer is alright with Windows.

Chrome OS

Google's Chrome OS is the newcomer of working frameworks, so in case you don't know what's in store from a Chromebook, you're not the only one. When Chromebooks first hit the market, they were fundamentally made in light of understudies, since they have a very low beginning cost.

Presently the contribution of Chromebooks is more various, and there are business-centered PCs running Chrome OS. Chrome is an extraordinary decision for a business visionary who is open to living in the cloud (you can't download programs on a Chromebook) and wouldn't like to stress over updates.

Chromebooks are worked to naturally download and convey refreshes for you, which is an incredible life hack for occupied business visionaries. On account of an expansion in cloud-based projects, for example, Adobe Creative Cloud, Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint, Chromebooks are developing more practical for a more extensive scope of entrepreneurs.

Stage 3: Choose a PC plan.

The way to picking the correct PC configuration is thinking about how you (and your cooperation. Here are a couple of inquiries to pose to yourself (or your workers) before you shop.

Do I need a half and half PC or a conventional PC?

You're as of now acquainted with conventional PCs that open on a pivot, yet now there's another type of mixture PCs to consider. Half and half workstations, likewise called convertible PCs or 2-in-1s, are PCs that twofold as independent tablets.

Some half and half PCs include screens that isolate totally from the console, while others have pivots with a 180-degree scope of movement, so you can overlap the PC back to front and use it as a tablet. Workers who travel a ton or as of now switch to and fro between a PC (for composing) and a tablet (for pointer and touchscreen use) might be a decent counterpart for a mixture plan. In any case, you ought to know that a 2-in-1 with high specs will be costlier than a standard pivot PC with similar specs.

Is an agreeable console a high need?

At the point when you're caught up with seeing PC structures, it tends to be anything but difficult to disregard the fundamentals and be astonished by stunning case and high-goal screens, however console comfort is a significant factor for most business clients. Truth be told, an awkward console will wind up being an a lot greater boundary to completing work than a marginally unremarkable PPI or a dull plan. While you shop, remember that the littler the PC, the littler the console, and that composing on a smaller than expected console for quite a long time at a time can be tedious.

In the event that conceivable, try out consoles to discover what you like. On the off chance that you can't do that, in any event observe the size of the console on any PC you consider. On the off chance that you pick a PC with a not exactly perfect console, you can put resources into an outside console for long composing meetings – however this isn't perfect, obviously.

Will I travel with my PC or for the most part working in one spot?

Conveyability is a significant worry for some entrepreneurs and a nonissue for other people. On the off chance that you travel a great deal or work in various areas all the time, it might merit giving up screen and console size for a lighter PC. You can generally check the measurements and weight of a PC under the specialized particulars on the web.

Remember that PC screens, similar to TV screens, are estimated slantingly (corner to corner) and that, when all is said in done, any gadget that weighs under 3 pounds is compact enough for business travel. Before you pick a ultraportable, however, ensure the gadget has the ports you require and a battery life you can live with.

Do I need a touchscreen or pointer support?

Touchscreens are a pleasant component if (and just in the event that) you use them a great deal. PCs that have touchscreens as well as pointer support are almost in every case more costly than comparative models without touchscreens.

PCs with touchscreens likewise utilize much more battery power than those without, regardless of whether you don't effectively utilize the touchscreen highlight. To finish it off, touchscreens are heavier than ordinary screens. In the event that you need a touchscreen or pointer support, you ought to totally search for that highlight in a PC, yet don't jump on it since you think it appears to be a cool extra.

Do I need a rough PC?

Rough PCs are basic for certain organizations, particularly those that utilize servicepeople in tough or far off conditions. Toughbook by Panasonic is the most prominent of the rough PC lines, and it's extremely famous with open help experts (police, fire, EMT, preservation) just as privately owned businesses that require ultra-versatile workstations (oil, fishing, agribusiness, development, conveyance).

Tough workstations and tablets are frequently offered with adornments that are not accessible for standard PCs, for example, vehicle mounts and vehicle battery packs (some rough PCs can work for a considerable length of time at once with these packs). Rough PCs are likewise ordinarily waterproof, drop-verification, and ready to be utilized with gloves on (regardless of whether they have touchscreens). Nonetheless, they're additionally generally bigger and clunkier than buyer or business PCs, and they can be costly once you factor in embellishments.

Most organizations don't require tough workstations, yet in the event that yours does, don't try taking a gander at standard shopper or business machines. Rather, start by looking at these rough lines: Toughbook by Panasonic, Getac and Dell Rugged Extreme.

Stage 4: Compare these three specs.

At this point, you've most likely discovered two or three PCs that fit your financial plan, have the working framework you need and meet your structure needs. Picking between them comes down to the specs. Seeing specs can be overpowering when you're inexperienced with all the technical discussion, so how about we separate it in basic true terms.

CPU

Under the specialized specs, you'll see the PC's CPU (focal preparing unit, likewise just called the processor) recorded. The CPU is the main thing you should see when contrasting PC choices.

On the off chance that your PC were a vehicle, the CPU would be the motor. As you can envision, the nature of your PC's processor hugy affects ease of use. All things considered, numerous individuals overspend for first in class processors when they needn't bother with them. A proportionate would be somebody who purchases a Porsche yet never drives in excess of 40 mph.

As you think about CPUs on the PCs you're taking a gander at, remember these overall rules:

Low-end CPUs: Low-end CPUs incorporate the Intel Atom, AMD E Series, Intel Pentium and Intel Celeron. These CPUs are most appropriate for light use. On the off chance that all you plan on doing is composing and web perusing, a low-end CPU might be fine, in any case, as a rule, we don't suggest these for business use.

Midrange CPUs: Midrange CPUs incorporate Intel Core m3, Intel Core m5 and Intel Core m7. You will probably just observe these CPUs in lightweight workstations and half and half PC structures. These CPUs are OK for essential work undertakings. In the event that the PC you're purchasing is an optional machine for movement, or something you'll just utilize every so often to take notes and send messages, this scope of CPUs should suit your necessities. On the off chance that your business expects you to run hearty projects all the time, spring for more force.

CPUs that are useful for most business use: Intel Core i3 and Intel Core i5 processors are appropriate for most organizations; they're similar to the solid four-entryway cars of the PC world. On the off chance that you routinely perform multiple tasks on your machine, such as running QuickBooks while overseeing monstrous spreadsheets in Excel when your program has 15 tabs open, a Core i5 is a superior decision for you than a Core i3. In case you're a standard business client who utilizes Outlook, types reports, streams media, stores photographs and presents via web-based networking media, a Core i3 will suit your requirements fine and dandy.

Very good quality CPUs: When they originally came to showcase, Intel's 6th and seventh-age Core i7 processors were found only in top of the line workstations. Similarly as with most innovation, the cost has diminished fairly, and you would now be able to discover workstations for under $1,000 that have i7 processors. While there's nothing amiss with buying a PC with a Core i7 processor, you most likely needn't bother with one.

Numerous individuals think an amazing processor rises to better execution, and everybody needs the most ideal exhibition, however that thought is both valid and bogus. Here's a relationship: Imagine stacking a pack of staple goods in the rear of your four-entryway vehicle (your Core i3 or Core i5). You can without much of a stretch drive that sack of staple goods home, correct? Presently envision placing that equivalent sack of food supplies in the rear of a top of the line pickup truck with much more pull. Was it simpler to drive the pack of goods home in the more costly truck? No, it didn't have any kind of effect, on the grounds that the errand you were performing was lightweight to such an extent that you didn't take advantage of the advantage of the pickup truck's additional torque (the capacity to pull monstrous burdens, join a snow furrow, utilize four-wheel drive, and so forth.).

The equivalent is valid for top of the line processors. In case you're not going to do video altering or 3D displaying, you needn't bother with a very good quality processor, and having one won't improve your PC experience. In the event that those requesting undertakings are a piece of your every day business, a Core i7 will be definitely justified even despite the cash.

Extravagance CPUs: If you gave yourself a boundless spending plan for business PCs, you may experience a not many that highlight the Intel Xeon. The Intel Xeon is just fundamental for experts who normally do bad-to-the-bone business investigation, vector-based preparing, and other profoundly concentrated information science and examination assignments. On the off chance that each one of those terms sound like Greek to you, you needn't bother with an Intel Xeon. On the off chance that an i7 is an extravagant pickup truck, an Intel Xeon is a top of the line sports vehicle, similar to an Aston Martin or a Porsche. There's an exceptionally little populace for whom purchasing a games vehicle is a monetarily quality choice, and the equivalent is valid for an extravagance PC with an Intel Xeon.

Memory and capacity

The second most significant factor to think about in work workstations is memory and capacity. There are two fundamental kinds of memory and capacity that your PC will have. You can consider them like long haul stockpiling and transient memory. For transient memory, there's arbitrary access memory (RAM), and for long haul stockpiling, there's your hard circle drive (HDD, additionally just called a hard drive). A few PCs have a strong state drive (SSD) notwithstanding a HDD for long haul stockpiling, while others just have a SSD for long haul stockpiling.SSDs are more up to date than HDDs, however they are progressively well known for capacity since they're quicker than HDDs, which means they make your PC run quicker as well. SSDs don't have any moving parts, so they're likewise more strong and minimal than standard hard drives, which is the reason you'll quite often discover them in tough PCs.For a better selected or reviewed list please do visit at https://www.upfored.org/best-laptops-for-running-a-business .

Here's the means by which to make sense of if the PC you're taking a gander at has enough memory and capacity for your business use:

Slam: Skip any workstations with 2GB RAM, as they'll be disappointing to take a shot at. Point rather for PCs that have 4GB (great) or 8GB (far superior). A few workstations accompany 16GB, yet that is a bit much for most business clients.

HDD and SDD: Unless you're anticipating doing a great deal of video altering (along these lines putting away huge amounts of film on your machine), you ought to approve of a base joined stockpiling limit of around 256GB. Remember that on the off chance that you choose a Chromebook, you will have far less hard drive space (which is fine in case you're OK with living in the cloud and running versatile applications). The capacity proposal here is fundamentally for business clients buying Windows or Apple machines.

Battery life

The last significant spec you ought to consider before settling on your ultimate choice is battery life. Battery life is a nonissue for some entrepreneurs and an enormous dealbreaker for other people, and just you know how regularly you'll be utilizing your PC without access to control.

Regardless, it's a smart thought to look at the battery life of any machine you buy. Remember

#bestmattress #laptops-for-running-a-business

1 note · View note

newfreedomsoftreviews-blog · 4 years

Video

youtube

https://wholesalinghousesinfo.com/freedomsoft-review-best-wholesaling-real-estate-software/ - This freedomsoft review for the most part is for new clients who need to encounter an unheard of level of land contributing. The motivation behind why this is for NEW clients is on the grounds that everybody that had FreedomSoft 3 was consequently redesigned half a month back and I can disclose to you that the updates are AWESOME! Before we get to the updates, let me inform you concerning FreedomSoft 4 and what sort of land programming Preston has made. As a matter of first importance, this product isn't for everybody and I'll reveal to you why in one minute… < Brisk Update… Freedomsoft 5 is currently accessible. Discover what the distinctions are beneath. For anybody that doesn't know Preston Ely, he's a land financial specialist and visionary who discovers approaches to make the contributing experience simpler, quicker and robotized. It's what all land speculators need since they can invest less energy and get more cash-flow. With FreedomSoft 4 it's the same. Preston's FreedomSoft 4 is intended to oversee and robotize a great part of the bustling work, in addition to assist you with selling more houses, faster and simpler. There are a few pieces to the administration programming which give immense advantages to the individuals who are hoping to make some additional money putting resources into land. Freedomsoft Review Here is the thing that the product does: Deals with every one of your Buyers, Sellers, Lenders and Contacts. This is an incredible hierarchical component. Access to a large number of inspired dealers the country over Access to a database of proprietors, speculators and CASH BUYERS Point and Click web designer to draw in persuaded venders and purchasers Standard mail generator with 44 PROVEN, composed postcards and letters to send to property holders in trouble Worked in auto responder and follow-ups and communicate framework for simpler correspondence Genuine virtual assessing frameworks dislike Zillow Virtual whiteboard to monitor your arrangements Guides to see the property and Calculators to figure out what to offer. Agreement Generators for auto filling Purchase and Sale understandings Short deal bundles on record. A single tick fax and messaging or re-appropriate to a group of specialists and still get paid Use web-based social networking locales like Facebook, Twitter and 17 others to sell houses Detailing in every aspect of the business 30 days of individual hand-holding to get familiar with the intricate details of the business In case you're simply beginning as a financial specialist, I can sincerely reveal to you this is EVERYTHING you need to make wholesaling properties as simple as could be expected under the circumstances. I mean Preston has thought of everything. One of the difficulties financial specialists face right now when they discount properties is finding a purchaser. There is so much formality engaged with regular loaning that correct now we are seeing a gigantic push for CASH BUYERS. They resemble gold in this business and are dealt with that way. This Cash Buyer Database alone is HUGE in light of the fact that it gives the financial specialist certainty that he can sell a property once it's found. The FreedomSoft programming has been around for quite a while and has made a few upgrades en route. When Preston first propelled FreedomSoft quite a long while prior, it had a sticker price of $3000. Presently he is letting everybody attempt it Free for 30 days. For those that may be considering what those improvements were from FreedomSoft 3 to 4 here they are… – New site plan. Looks tons better and considerably more easy to use. The new dashboard territory permits clients to truly modify it to their necessities to concentrate on developing their business. Clients can see the network and the significant main jobs to remain focused. The extraordinary thing about the network is that you can connect with different financial specialists the nation over. Accomplice on bargains, pose inquiries, discover purchasers for out of state speculations… Great incredible instrument for utilizing others information and data to make your contributing experience better: – You would now be able to allocate undertakings to individuals in your group, send updates, and so forth – All the advertising has been moved to one area – this comprises of leads, money purchasers, private moneylenders, the offer bot, post office based mail and email communicates – There is another properties tab which permits the client to place more properties in the FreedomSoft framework and out to the planned purchasers – Students would now be able to list their properties on the whiteboard region which is incredible on the grounds that it's a method to publicize your arrangements to different financial specialists – The homeroom has changed a piece as well. It's significantly increasingly helpful in that the recordings can be downloaded and watched or tuned in to when the time is advantageous Is FreedomSoft for Everyone? So now you're likely thinking about whether this is something for you. There is a TON of cash to be made right now in the wholesaling industry. Preston has genuinely assembled all the vital devices to assist speculators with prevailing around here. Here's the greatest test… individuals not making a move. You can't hope to flip arrangements when no exertion is advanced to discover properties and make offers. On the off chance that you don't make offers, you won't money any checks. So in case you're the kind of individual that doesn't make a move, this won't work for you. The framework gives all of you the instruments and assets, yet you need to execute. On the off chance that you're a practitioner, at that point you will totally LOVE this product. This is an extraordinary item and expectation this survey has made a difference. We made this Freedomsoft 4 survey since we like the item, we like the person behind the item and realize you'll be effective once executed in your business. Freedomsoft 5 has now quite recently been discharged to the general population. It incorporates everything that was referenced before with even now more apparatuses and better interface that is more easy to understand and much faster. Preston is offering a free preliminary to the product for a brief timeframe so you can test it out. For whatever length of time that the connection works underneath, you can in any case give it a shot.

1 note · View note

comicteaparty · 4 years

Text

June 10th-June 16th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from June 10th, 2020 to June 16th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

How does poor web design affect if and/or how you read a particular webcomic?

carcarchu

it's a huge factor. if a comic is amazing in every way but the website or app makes it difficult for me to read i'm simply NOT going to read it. there are a lot of great series that i've put on the back burner just because the website is so annoying to navigate

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've honestly never run into a website so bad it stopped me from reading a comic i was interested in

carcarchu

FYI the worst comic app i've ever experienced is Aqua Kiss which I downloaded to read a single series. it's the most barebones app imaginable with no search bar. if you want to read something you actually have to manually load each calendar week to find it and some stuff are buried dozens of pages back. and to make matters worse it doesn't have a "history" or "bookmarks" feature either

Deo101 [Millennium]

The worst things with sites that I see often are 1: huge headers, and 2: laggy sites (not really site design, but its adjacent I think) Another is if the pages are too big on the screen, so you can't, for instance, see some panels all at once. Those kinds of things can really ruin a reading experience for me

carcarchu

One example of a website that is hostile to the reading experience is ZMYK which for some reason hosts vertical scroll comics but cuts them up into little pieces as if they were comic format so you can't actually scroll through the entire chapter as it was intended to

That kind of thing grinds my gears so much how can something you have to pay for be that incredibly bad

Deo101 [Millennium]

I've also seen some sites that have graphic design issues, where elements are illegible due to their color, and some have very busy and distracting backgrounds. Those kinds of things won't necessarily ruin it, but they're distracting

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

forward comic's website was doing this weird thing where the further I read the longer pages took to load. Near the end it seemed they were taking 10 full seconds. Still read the whole thing though. Reading manga on shady sites with terrible internet connection as a kid has desensitized me

Oh one comic I was interested in but didn't read because of the site: I was kidnapped by lesbian pirates from outer space. It doesn't have a website. To read it you have to pirate (hehe) copies of the archive.

It's a pretty sad story- the author was young and tricked into giving up the rights to her series

She ended up taking the site down to prevent the company from getting any more money off of it

https://rosalarian.tumblr.com/post/65353128180/its-with-extreme-sadness-that-i-announce-that-my

Here's her post about it

I think it can be a good warning message to us

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

For me, the biggest thing that deters me from reading a comic is if the website isn't well optimized for mobile (as someone who reads a lot on the go). This includes the images loading bigger than the page, or navigation being hidden on mobile, or glitchy scrolling, or any number of ungodly things. Also, too many ads. That'll turn me away in a heartbeat.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah ads are definitely a huge turnoff for me too

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@carcarchu okay i just digested this comment and wtf

no search bar is laughably bad omg

how did you even find out about it

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah that's ridiculous hahahaha

carcarchu

it's a shame because there are genuinely good comics on there you can't read anywhere else?? and i found it because an artist i adore did a series for it but it got AXED after only 2 chapters and after that was pretty much scrubbed from the internet. i think it's a shame because it really had so much potential and it ended before the story was really able to start

it's a screenshot from the app. you can see that it is categorized reverse chronologically by week

the point of aqua kiss is to emulate monthly/weekly style manga magazines but in app form. however i think the execution of this idea was horrendous

SteffieMusings

Oh no! It must make reading there so challenging. As for me, if the navigation is so hard to understand/pages don't load properly when you click a link or when the website's colours hurt my eyes so much I can't stay there for too long.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Honestly nowadays most of the CMS's out there share the same basic functionality and adaptability, so it's getting harder to screw up on that. Most sites are OK, if only a bit laggy. If the site takes less than 2 seconds to load and it's not so crowded that I have to look for the comic, I'm generally good.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

How much bad/inaccessible web design I'll tolerate is directly proportional to how much I care about the comic.

I've dropped a couple series in the middle of the archive just because they changed the site design to screw up the tracking of bookmarking sites, so I would've had to figure out an alternate way to keep track of it, and it didn't seem worth the effort

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh yeah, I've totally had that happen too where I was deep into an archive, had taken a reading break for a month or two, and came back to find the urls had been updated and my spot was lost it isn't so bad if a comic also has an archive page, but ive stopped reading a few stories that it would have been too hard to track down where I was.

DaeofthePast

I haven’t had to experience weird websites in a while, but I do sometimes go to an unknown website to read the comic/manga I’m looking for. Mostly what I’ve had trouble with is unnumbered chapters, of that it’s unclear where/how to start reading in general.(edited)

Like, I get to the page for that specific comic and then there’s no easy “start reading here” button anywhere

And when I do find the chapters list, I don’t know which end of the list is the beginning bc it’s unnumbered

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Is a "First page" button enough or are you looking for a "new readers start here" button? (<- is redisigning her page)

DaeofthePast

Is there a difference? :0

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

hm, sometimes yes.

Some old running comics have different jump-on points (schlock mercenary for example).

DaeofthePast

Ooh I see

Well when I first go on the site, I just want to start reading so idk

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

So, I always try to read every comic that's featured in the book club all the way through. Like even if I don't particularly like the opening, or if the comic is thousands of pages long, or I don't have time to meaningfully discuss the comic, I do try to at least give the comic a fair shake by reading through the entire archive. There have been four exceptions. One was because of content (it was a gag a day comic, and the content was SO horrible for SO long that I just couldn't stand it anymore. real "punching down" type of humor). Another was because the comic was literally deleted before I could get to it. The remaining two were because the site design/organization were so awful that the comics were unreadable. One of the two comics had a custom built, hand-coded site (I assume), and it just... didn't work properly. Like the "previous" button seemingly took you to a random page, the "next" button and the "latest" button led to the same place, etc. I'm not sure the creator ever bothered to test the site. The other one used some pre-built stuff, so it was ok... but you had to scroll to the top of the page to go to the next page. Not only that, but the author was posting all their comics to the same archive - which means one page would be the comic that was actually meant to be read for the book club and the next few pages were a completely different comic entirely. And this wasn't a gag-a-day either - it was a story based comic, so the three action minimum to get to the next page made things absolute hell to keep track of.(edited)

DaeofthePast

Wow

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Uff, yeah, that sounds horrible.

Nyx+Nyssa's page is currently a barebone mess, but I made at least sure the navigation works. :/

DaeofthePast

Having the comic be deleted while you’re reading it sounds like such a weird experience lmao

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i mean, it wasn't thanos snap style lol

DaeofthePast

Was the website gone too or?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

it was in between days

nah the website was still there, it's just that the author had decided to reboot their comic and forgot that they had submitted it to the book club

DaeofthePast

Oh okay I imagined Thanos snap style

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Not really a design but a site thing: I can't do comics without an archive of some sort. On platforms like Tapas or WT, the episode list serves that purpose perfectly fine. I personally need to be able to see how many pages there are, and I need a way to go to specific pages easily. It might sound like a small complaint, but it's a big thing for me! There have been comics that piqued my interest, but once I saw that there was no archive of any form, I left forever. Sure, I might be missing out, but there are also lots of good comics out there that have accessible archives. My life isn't long enough to read them all, so I'm letting myself be very picky.

copperine

I can manage a very basic site just fine. But if a site is hard to navigate, or just makes reading the page/getting to the next page difficult - I'd be likely to give up eventually. Doesn't matter about the quality of the comic, but if it's a chore to just read it, it's going to put me off after a while

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I will note - if you want me to actually discuss your comic in the book club, please do have an archive link, and probably a cast page too. Like the lack of one doesn't stop me from reading entirely, but I can't discuss anything without being able to look back at specific moments. (and one of those archives that just has dates doesn't count - lemme know what the chapter is!)

copperine

For example - when I read webcomics on dA, I was absolutely fine with either the author having a dedicated folder with the pages in order. Another option was to link next and prev pages in the description. But if I had to go find each next page, I just wouldn't.

DaeofthePast

By an archive do you mean kinda like a chapters list?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

A list of all the pages, ideally

That also list the chapters somehow

copperine

Short version: if I feel like I'm spending half as much time navigating the site as I am actually reading, it's gonna get old real quick

DaeofthePast

And same copperine. As long as it’s organized well, I will probably read it

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like maybe you click on a chapter link to get to a list of the pages, or maybe it's just a list of the pages with the chapter names as headers

some sort of organization

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah! (I admit my own comic's archive page isn't the prettiest, but it's 100% functional.)

DaeofthePast

I only have a chapter list so far ^^; idk how to go about getting an archive

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Chapter list is totally fine if your chapters tend to be on the shorter side

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I like having chapter lists around, although coding them can be a handful Not sure if to go for an archive with thumbnails or just with page numbers though.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It's also workable if you also have like... a dropdown menu for individual pages on the actual pages? So it only takes 2 clicks to go to a specific page (first click to go to the chapter, second click to go to the page)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

OH yeah, there was also a dA comic in the book club once that didn't have any next/previous buttons. However, it was a short comic - the bare minimum for getting into the book club - so I still read it all the way through. But it was pretty annoying to do so. (it was also pretty obviously a fetish comic, but that's not really relevant to the discussion XD)

DaeofthePast

I want to post by scene so I’ll be dividing chapters like “chapter 3 part 1” to hopefully that will be better

copperine

I'll always take functional over pretty

DaeofthePast

Haha I’m not sure if I want to know the comic for that one

Also what is “punching down” humor?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, the author was a straight man, and nearly every joke was making fun of people who weren't those things.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

it's like making fun of people but

copperine

Yikes

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

you're intentially trying to put them down

that's punching down in my imo rip

DaeofthePast

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yeah....

DaeofthePast

Well at least I know what to call it when I see it in the future ._.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Like, occasionally I see a shitty joke in a comic and I keep reading because maybe the author improved (we do sometimes get comics with archives that date back decades in here) But this comic was just so consistently awful for so long that I couldn't stand it

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

oof that aint good

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Though that's kinda off topic lol

DaeofthePast

Oh yeah

So bad site design...

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Anyway, I don't really wanna post the examples of the comics I talked about in here cuz I don't wanna call anyone out

Actually, hold on, lemme check something

DaeofthePast

I feel I haven’t had too much experience with bad site designs, but I might have just forgotten(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

ok yeah

so, the comic where you had to scroll up to the top of each page to click to the next one, and the site was multiple comics alternating pages that made the story rough to follow

copperine

Oof yeah having to scroll up to click next won't stop me but it is a bother

DaeofthePast

I like having the next button both on top and the bottom, even if they update page by page(edited)

It just feels convinient

copperine

Yeah same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Re: punching up/down, here's an overly simplistic set of examples: billionaires making fun of poor people is punching down. Poor people making fun of billionaires is punching up.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

's good webdesign pattern for everything with continous content - e.g. blogs, web-novels, webcomics.

Ideally you have one on top, between content and comments and under comments

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

the comic that alternated storylines & required scrolling back up to go to the next page was Antibunny: http://vinnied.comicgenesis.com/d/20061002.html if you see that page I linked and click next a few times, there's no obvious distinction between the main story and the spinoff story (no, like, header change between the two, and the art style looks similar), so you can see how it'd be confusing to follow and the scrolling is just icing on the cake (it used to be even worse) the only reason I feel comfortable sharing that is because the author uploaded the comics to new sites, and fixed all those issues in the process: http://antibunny.net/

DaeofthePast

Oh nice. So they realized the problem

copperine

Aren't they in this server? Or am I thinking of another one

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah, the author is in this server

copperine

I thought so

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Hence why he realized, because we told him that there was a problem during the book club

copperine

I'm not gonna take anything said here as a comment on anyway btw

DaeofthePast

It’s cool that submitting their comic to the tea party resulted in some good feedback :3

copperine

You love to see it!

It always makes me happy when webcomic community stuff helps people out, that seems like the ideal outcome

DaeofthePast

Yess

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

i agree on that yeee

DaeofthePast

It’s like having a friend point out a spelling mistake. Embarrassing but you can live with the knowledge that your work is now a little bit better(edited)

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Yeah kinda off-topic, but I love it when the author of the comic for the book club joins the server. Like not only does it mean that the author could join in on others' discussions in the future (pay it forward 'n stuff), but... it's just really sad when I see a comic pop up in the book club and the author seemingly forgot they submitted it.

DaeofthePast

How long does it usually take to get to a comic? :0 that they would forget they submitted it?

copperine

I always hope I can help others out or support them, and I hope they feel the same

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The book club had a very very long wait list in the past. These days, not so long.

DaeofthePast

And I guess if you submit a comic with a website, the people here can be your beta testers

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

what's odd is that five months ago, the wait list was six months but now, the wait list is two months y'all need to submit/resubmit your comics

DaeofthePast

I tried going to submit mine yesterday and the site doesn’t let me v.v says you’re booked for July

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

oh yeah, so it is

DaeofthePast

Maybe later :3

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i guess Rebel doesn't want the queue to get too long

copperine

I would submit mine but I'm only at 10 pages and I believe you need to have 20 to submit

DaeofthePast

Ooh they have a minimum?

Gotta count my pages now

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I mean it makes sense. Hard to discuss a comic that only has the cover for chapter 1

DaeofthePast

Tru

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Let us dissect this cover image for an entire week"

DaeofthePast

It would be a hilarious April fools challenge

copperine

Idk I think it was 20 minimum?

DaeofthePast

shrug

copperine

@snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) can you shed any light on this

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The sign up form is where you would normally find that information.

copperine

... very good point

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

But the form is currently unavailable, and it's possible that Rebel might change the requirement when it becomes available again

copperine

Thank you for the heads up

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

FYI, https://comicteaparty.com/ is where the form will be available eventually

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

They accept resubmissions now?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I def like arrows on the top and bottom of pages for sites to be more of a thing, as well as clicking the image for the next page too! Honestly there hasn't been a make or break, mainly preferences, and the most complaints i have are with the mobile formatting. I think most comics have been pretty solid in functionality that i've read, and it's clear that having their own website is becoming mainstream enough for there to be help, tips, and tricks to making it work!

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I definitely prefer if I can just click on the comic image to go to the next page especially for mobile.

copperine

Agreed!

Idk about resubmissions tho

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... Wow. I absolutely HATE clickable images on mobile, because they usually mess with the pinch-zoom.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i've had sites that didnt have image click throughs and the arrow..... was like SO TINY XD

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Didn't think anyone would actually like it, so... huh.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i kept going back and forth

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

yeah, navigation needs to be bigger on mobile for safe tapping.

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Oh, re:resubmissions, I'm pretty sure you can if it's been long enough? I think @snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) mentioned it recently as an option. But maybe a tangent for #general

boogeymadam

i dont mind the pinch zoom being a little more difficult from time to time cause usually the clickable image is worth it to me

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Same

boogeymadam

am also fond of sites that allow left/right arrows to let you move forward and back on desktop

mariah (rainy day dreams)

Mainly it's just for like Krispy said, reading on mobile and tiny next/previous buttons.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ye my dummy thicc fingers prefer the click through image for sure

ohh yes Boogey that too

boogeymadam

it took me hours of googling to find the very simple comicpress option to just turn that on on my site

copperine

Mmm I do like sites that allow pinch zoom though

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I also prefer clicking on the image to go to the next page

mariah (rainy day dreams)

My fingers small, but still dummy T-T

copperine

It makes it easier to get a better look at the page

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

iweudhweiu Mariah XD

copperine

Especially if it's got smaller font

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

nyxandnyssa has a seperate navigation for mobile that's much bigger and skipping scene select to make tapping easier.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've had the hover text def bum me out for some comics, where you click the image and it just displays the text, then you gotta click the tiny next bar def killed me there

copperine

I've never had issues with pinch zoom affecting clickable images but I can imagine it would be annoying

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

but! never breaks me out of a comic for me to stop reading-! i persevere in the face of adversity XD

boogeymadam

i've never encountered a site so bad i couldnt continue reading. maybe stuff where i'd stop reading until i was less frustrated but i'd come back later.

DaeofthePast

That’s something I’ll have to consider for my site then

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I feel like Smackjeeves had a really obnoxious auto pitch & zoom before they updated most recently. I like when I can turn it off on my phone. I'd rather do it myself most of the time and let my phone try to auto it X')

DaeofthePast

I usually read on desktop more often than on mobile so it’s good to hear from other’s experiences

copperine

Idk I've never used a custom site yet

boogeymadam

same dae, except on tapas and webtoons!(edited)

comics with their own website i'll boot up my computer for a single update of

DaeofthePast

Even on webtoons I read on desktop

boogeymadam

omg your power, webtoons feels so choppy on desktop to me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

im definitely lucky that our site got a mobile friendly version i remember the 'ol pinchy zoomz was tiresome on our site for sure

DaeofthePast

I get headaches from reading on my phone unfortunately :/

Idk what the difference is between reading mobile and on a desktop but my brain doesn’t like it

Like, I can text fine???? But reading a comic for some reason is like “no”

So yeah, comics on desktop for me

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohh!! it could be the close proximity!

DaeofthePast

Ooh :0 maybe?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i know i get motion sickness depending on how close/ far i am from screens

DaeofthePast

Maybe it’s something like that... :O

boogeymadam

whatever the reason sorry you get headaches and motion sickness from comics :'0

DaeofthePast

Every once in a while I’ll try again to read on mobile I never learn

boogeymadam

the only reason i dont like mobile is sometimes comics text is a combination of too small there and the font is hard on my dyslexia

DaeofthePast

Rip

boogeymadam

so i see if zooming in on my computer helps

DaeofthePast

The lesson here is that it’s good to have both mobile and desktop options

boogeymadam

yep :'D

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ohhh yea def agree. I know that feeling and i sometimes ... have a Time reading my own work XD (i admit it lol!!)

boogeymadam

sometimes my own comic is hard on my dyslexia for The Effect so i never have hard feelings with other comics

copperine

(brb)

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

ewiudhiwue the things we do AT WHAT COST XD

DaeofthePast

Asdfghjkl

Meanwhile I use the same font for everything

boogeymadam

wait im gonna generalize this more so it can be a party

DaeofthePast

Please post that on pillowfort so I can reblog it

boogeymadam

you can post it for yourself if you want dae!

i'm having a hard time logging on asdfgjh

DaeofthePast

Rip sure

copperine

Ah see I have both

Because hand lettering

It's great for feeling right for a comic but also eternally wondering if it's readable

DaeofthePast

Ooh yeah I guess that would count as both

What’s your comic btw :0

Wait, we’re supposed to be talking about website design right

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yep! If it gets too off topic, you can always continue in another channel that's more fitting.

copperine

Ah sorry! Sure thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mobile is too small for me

DaeofthePast

Yeah

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

(oHHMYYGOSH BOOGEY XD)

boogeymadam

mm archives were mentioned already, and how it can really turn readers away to simply not have one at all? my favorite archive is https://www.vaingloriouscomic.com/comic/archive 's but i've seen some where they attempted an all picture archive and it backfired by just being a page of all empty boxes. this didn't deter me from reading it and it got fixed pretty quick tho~ mine is one of these and its a very chonky slowmoving page cause i uploaded the first 90ish as fullsized pictures. nobody's ever complained so idk if it's ever deterred anyone from reading but i know i gotta fix it someday.(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I really dont mind any kind of web design in particular though tbh. I prefer desktop sites but it’s fine if the design isnt great

DaeofthePast

Have you guys ever gone to a comic website (for a single comic) and the colors used in the background were so bright that it felt like they were blinding you to the point it was hard to read the actual pages?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My archive is down right now becayse it broke and I dont know how to fix it lol

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i def want a fully view-able archive but we're gonna be hitting 800 pages and i dont know how well that will work XD

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

But I have a navigation bar now

boogeymadam

u could have multiple pages of archive, krispy!

i'm starting a new page for chapter 2

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or dropdown menus

boogeymadam

but its probably important to have a dropdown if u have more than 1 page, yeah

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I want to switch to picture archives, but I haven't found a good plug in/way to get my word press to do it :( if anyone has recommendations...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I knew how to make dropdown menus

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

i'll have to bring that up ! we dont do the tech work for our site ( thank gosh seriously) but i love archives that show full pages

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

If I could make dropdown menus I would be unstoppable

copperine

I miss the drop-downs on SJ

boogeymadam

i feel like dropdowns are smth i pretty much only exclusively see on hiveworks comics

i wonder what their secret is,,,

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’ve inspected the elements on so many hiveworks sites lol

I want to know

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

they use word press I think

for their comic sites

just have to do some digging with the site html and csss

copperine

Right click and inspect maybe...

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Php stands for my Personal hell pit

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

if i could go undercover for yall i would XD

boogeymadam

also!! @mariah (rainy day dreams) i use elementor for mine

its not perfect and breaks like every time i update it but it works asdfg

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

... I'm currently writing a sparkling fresh wp-plugin for my page (comic easel wasn't doing what I wanted), but I am also a software dev who enjoys coding.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My template I use functions in mostly php and xml and its gibberish to me but functions so well I dont know how to improve it to have specific things I want

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my knowledge with site design is basic at best lmao

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

wordpress is a bit special in that it does most things more complicated than strictly necessary.

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but I do like fiddling with stuff

^that too lmao

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I know Shiza of osarilho is really good at web designing? she's made some beautiful work with her site!

boogeymadam

i want to ask shiza for more help but not before i have some money to pay her :')

she's helped me a lot already

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I can do html and css at the babiest level

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'll check that out Boogey, thanks! Even if it does break X') And I guess I'll just make a note to start stashing money to hire shiza XD im definitely at the point where my site needs a general face lift, but I don't have the spoons for it.

boogeymadam

imo i've made some really pretty pges with it. it's a drag and drop that's excellent at galleries, but it doesn't like when you don't have even rows for some reason

the wordpress plugin, Elementor, i mean.

copperine

I've been wanting to try comicpress for ages

I just don't know where to start

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I'm gonna move over to #shop_talk for my response

copperine

I had someone who was gonna help me out but we lost contact so it's on the back burner

boogeymadam

OOPS yeah

copperine

But for websites in general I prefer to have one that feels very basic than one that feels too busy or crowded

I'm not a graphic designer at all lol

If I do try an independent site I'm planning to pay a coding friend to help me

DaeofthePast

yeah i have no idea what I'm doing when working on my site, it's kinda basic, but at least it looks nice

copperine

I just use a premade theme on my ComicFury site

It works and that's good enough for me so far

Oh I guess the other thing that would put me off reading a comic is if the site isn't formatted for mobile, and/or particularly if the site doesn't have adaptive formatting

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

same, but editted it hard core so it looks like it's own thing lmao

copperine

I usually read on my phone because my computer is where I work so I like to get off it for hobbies

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

but for me uh i guess mobile i try to read it either on tapas, webtoon or its own site

I find just clicking the page to the next one helps me a lot lol I don't do a lot of zooming

copperine

Mmm

copperine

It's personal preference a lot tbh!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I like my comuter because its big

copperine

Valid

Mine is not

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

did anyone talk about paying me please you don't have to do that

copperine

Idk but you can pay me

Idk what for but

I'll take money

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I absolutely would have to if you made my site awesome X') work is work, and you should be paid for it

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

fair enough

Just send me a DM whenever you're up for that and lemme take a look at what you already have

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I would hire someone to do web design for me but I dont have the funds & I dont wnat to make someone do work for me for free

sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead)

I've been meaning to set up my own website for a while now, since the collective i was originally hosting my webcomic with kinda fell apart, but it's so much work and i'm hella intimidated :'''D

copperine

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) there's been some related discussion in #shop_talk and I believe @boogeymadam might be able to advise (I'm sure others can too but I'm going off the convo from earlier)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

@sierrabravo (Hans Vogel is Dead) depending on how much it is I can help you out

RebelVampire

Admin Reminder Remember this channel is for experiences as a reader first and foremost, so #shop_talk and #general are better if you want to discuss your own stuff.

DaeofthePast

thank you for the reminder :3

RebelVampire

I would say poor web design is something I have a complicated relationship regarding webcomics. On the one hand, outside of a site being 100% completely broken, I'm willing to sit through a lot to read. So in terms of affecting whether I read a comic the first time or not, there isn't much to say there. But it does affect how engaged I am with the comic. Cause if I can't easily go back to re-read a page, easily find things like character names, have to deal with extreme lag cause the host is garbage, have to deal with eye bleeding color schemes, etc. you can bet your bottom dollar 1 time is all that comic is going to get in terms of reading it. I can only subject myself to so much, and if I don't feel like reading a comic again because of the site itself, I'm going to quickly forget it in favor of comics whose sites don't make me cry. I do give more leeway to sites created by creators in many respects. But professional bigtime hosts like Tapas or Webtoons literally have no excuse for some of their garbage design choices. And some of their design choices are super duper garbage.

DaeofthePast

that's true yeah, there's a big distinction of the quality expectations between sites by small creators and those of big companies like Webtoons

RebelVampire

At the same time, though, I know from first hand experience that poor design choices are literally influenced by user data for bigger companies. So for every decision I consider stupid- at the same time they probably did the AB tests that showed crappy design A had better results for their conversion rates than user friendly design B.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Which boggles my mind

I wonder if there's some kinda causation-correlation thing going on that the A/B tests could not detect accurately

boogeymadam

Rebel mentioned sites that have eyebleedy color schemes and I'm in the same boat; will read the comic, just will be turning down the screen brightness a looot. Sites that have a huge space of extremely neon background that distracts from the comic make me reluctant to read on the site, and I'll look for a mirror before trying. That white background of the 2 big comic hosting sites can at least be affected and turned dark by nightmode when needed, while nightmode doesn't work on half the bright comic sites I've tried it on. u-u

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #reader favorites

1 note · View note

the-bounce-back · 4 years

Text

BEING ‘SINGLE SINGLE’ - LESSONS LEARNED FROM FOCUSING ON MYSELF

Well, hey there. It’s been a while.

As I’m sure you all will appreciate and understand, March was an extremely hot mess in many ways, but mainly due to how COVID-19 showed up and started ruining everyone’s lives, and my motivation to write has been very limited due to stress and anxiety over how the situation is unfolding (please stay safe and at home!). However, I have finally somewhat adjusted to the situation and started to feel kind of normal again, so… I’m back like I never left. We love to see it.

I should point out that this post has been on my mind since, like, late December, and I started writing it in the middle of February after I finished the Confidence Chronicles. As the effects of Miss Rona started to become even more prominent in our everyday lives, I wanted to rewrite some of the parts so it would become more relevant to what is currently going on before publishing it… so without further ado, let’s get into it.

If you’re in my age group, I’m sure you will understand and agree that there are different ‘categories’ of being single, and all these levels are immensely different if you get political and look at the specific details of them. For the purpose of clarity and to illustrate, I (personally) would dub these categories as such:

*Single and MiNgLiNg: You’re not tied down to anyone. You’re talking to, seeing and doing whatever you want, with whoever you want, whenever you want. You’re living your best, unbothered life. Feelings are/have become an alien concept to you. I respect it. Gwarn with your bad self.

*Single (but not really): You’re technically single, but there’s someone (or someones, if you’re so inclined) that you’re into and that you’re secretly hoping things will work out with so that you can leave this ghetto that we call the gAmE. I’d say that this is the category where most situationships reside in, before eventually dying out or graduating to an actual relationship. I hate this category, because it is literally the worst: everyone has different opinions on what can and can’t run, and from what I’ve seen it usually just ends up in someone getting hurt.

*Single-ish: kind of like the previous category, but the main difference is that although there might be someone you want things to work out with, you’re grudgingly talking to other people as well in case things go sour. Either to protect your own feelings or out of sheer boredom because the person you want isn’t stepping up in the way you want them to. You probably even try to convince yourself that these other people are better options than the one(s) you actually want, but deep down you know you’re lying to yourself. Sigh. A mess.

And finally, the namesake of this post:

*Single single (aka ‘Single and not looking’): You’ve completely distanced yourself from trying to get to know someone, for whatever reason. You have no interest in changing this anytime soon. Your phone is drier than your hands during this epidemic (cream your hands after washing them… please).

Up until very recently, I have considered myself single single. This came to pass after things not working out with the person that I wanted, after floating between the single (but not really) and single-ish categories for what felt like eons. I’m not even going to lie, it hurt - but I’m glad it happened. If it hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have been able to write this post and share what I’ve learnt from taking a step back and choosing to focus on myself, and I definitely wouldn’t have elevated to this completely new level of confidence the way I have.

The choice to cut all romantic/physical ties off for a while came when I was overanalysing the situation for the trillionth time. I realised that ever since the age of 16, I have always been involved with someone in some way - whether it’s literally just talking or something more. That’s literally almost a decade of my life that I’ve let boys/men live rent-free in my head… Ew. I know, very embarrassing. As if that embarrassment isn’t enough, I soon realised that there must be a correlation between how low my self-esteem, self-confidence and perception of self-worth used to be and the men I’ve had to deal with in my short life so far. I recognised that the craving for male attention and validation that I thought I had eliminated was, in reality, still very much intact after things ended with the person I wanted. I almost got angry at myself for feeling so empty and worthless after it ended, because I genuinely thought that I was stronger than this.

It’s all good, though - these past few months that have been spent realigning my focus in life, my personal goals and my own dreams have been so crucial to my growth as an independent woman that doesn’t need a man to feel whole. I had already come very far in this inner work (as you will tell from my previous posts), but having this time being completely alone definitely reinforced the things I already knew, but was struggling to apply to my life. I have learnt so many invaluable things about myself and what I want in a relationship in general, so let's get it.

1. I will - shock horror - not die if I don’t get attention.

This is definitely the first realisation I had after my initial decision to not talk to men anymore. As childish as it sounds, I didn’t realise how weird it would be to go from constantly being gassed by someone whose opinion I cared about a little too much… to literal radio silence.

This is how I know that this decision came at the right time of my life, because I genuinely don’t think I would’ve been able to cope without constant attention and validation a few years ago. Honestly, I was like Tinkerbell - on the verge of perishing every time I didn’t get the energy I believed (and still believe!) I deserved when I was looking nice. It’s very embarrassing and almost comical how much it used to ruin my day if I didn’t get some kind of comment about how pRetTy I am, and I’m so grateful to myself that I got out of that mindset before committing to being alone. If you’ve read my post about how to have a healthy relationship (if not, find it here), you might remember that I talked about how freeing myself from the perception that attention, affection and validation from men being something needed to survive in this life was one of the best realisations I’ve ever had. This is still entirely true, and not being involved with anyone has even made me even more of an advocate for this.

I feel like I’ve discussed the importance of building your confidence to death during my confidence series, so I’m not going to delve too deep into it here. But if you haven’t read those posts, the most important takeaway is that confidence and a deep belief in your own sauce comes from within, and gradually breaking down your insecurities with positivity, a willingness to think about/confront your demons, taking the time to get to know yourself properly, and giving yourself the love and accolades you know you deserve. At no point whatsoever did I mention the approval of men (or whoever you’re attracted to). With this in mind, I can definitely say that this deep love and appreciation I’ve been feeling for myself lately has 100% stemmed from me truly believing in it, as opposed to partially based in forcing myself to believe it and partially based in expecting validation from whoever I’m dealing with.

Furthermore, I’ve officially gotten to the point where the compliments I give myself have started to slap harder than compliments/attention from men, and it’s made me feel extremely empowered and like I have a newfound appreciation for myself. They mean more for the following reasons:

* They’re largely focused on aspects of my personality, mindset, abilities and intelligence - as opposed to just empty comments on my physical features/body.

*The only ulterior motive I have with giving myself compliments is to improve my mental health and confidence, since I don’t need to get into my own good books first to off my own pant.

Whew. All tea/shade/offence intended!

All jokes aside - regardless of if you’re in a relationship, talking to someone or happily single, I’d definitely recommend asking yourself if you’d still feel the same way about yourself if you didn’t get attention or validation on a regular basis. If the answer is no, then I’d definitely recommend asking yourself why that is (and reading/rereading my Confidence Chronicles series).

2. I’m really productive when I don’t have any distractions.

I’m not going to lie, I’ve missed smiling and giggling at my phone like a smiling and giggling idiot. I’ve also missed communicating solely with dark memes, as this is one of my love languages. For those reasons, not talking to anyone kind of sucked at times.

However, much like cutting junk food out of your diet - it gets easier the longer you stick to it, and after some time you’ll realise that you’re probably better off without it. Honestly. The amount of time I’ve freed up from not constantly being on my phone to have pointless giggly conversations about absolutely nothing is actually insane, and before Corona came into the picture, I was extremely productive (not to say that I’m no longer productive… but I may or may not have been doing 48h Netflix binges every few days now that everything is closed).

I’ve spent more time brainstorming blog ideas. My art has drastically improved. I’ve started to lose the depression weight I put on. My skin has cleared up. I’m currently learning eight new languages. I’m writing a whole BOOK. I’ve taken time to update my career plan. And last but not least - I’ve spent a lot of time healing and looking to the future as opposed to dwelling on the past and things that I am unable to change.

Having time to myself - especially while being in a better frame of mind than other times I’ve found myself alone - has reinforced the knowledge of how much I can accomplish and how good I can feel about myself outside of a relationship. This isn’t news to me, at all. But if I had realised how much of a difference being completely solo dolo would have to my productivity and motivation, I definitely would’ve chosen to cut everyone off ages ago… however, the timing in this case has been impeccable. Committing to be alone after going through over a year of inner work and self-healing has allowed me to both appreciate the confidence and resilience I’ve been rebuilding on a completely new level, as well as be able to take a step back and fully enjoy the peacefulness of not having to constantly have someone to worry/overthink about outside of myself and my own goals/projects.

3. I’m a really f*cking cool person to hang out with.

This realisation came long before I decided to not talk to men, to be honest. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been an ambivert - meaning that as much as I love spending time with friends, I highly value my alone time as well. Regardless of if I’m just Netflixing, writing, drawing or imagining fake scenarios in my head that will never happen (unless, of course, my book becomes a bestseller and I end up on Ellen), I always have a fantastic time being alone. It’s my time to recharge, dissect my thoughts and feelings, and not have to deal with anyone else for a bit.

When I first decided to be completely single, one of my main goals was to commit to being comfortable alone regardless of the situation. I’ve always been comfortable taking myself to see a movie or on a nice café date, but I really wanted to push myself to the next level of iNdEpEnDeNcE. I went to a couple gigs and a couple tourist attractions alone earlier this year when no one could/wanted to go, and I had the best time ever. Honestly, I was living the dream. Those experiences made me start planning the cute little solo holidays I was going to go on and restaurants I wanted to take myself to, and I was getting really excited. But then, of course, Corona came and ruined everything, so my plans have been put on hold indefinitely.

With that being said, I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss going out for cute little dates with someone I’m seeing/in a relationship with. Some of my favourite memories are gigs, day trips and holidays with someone else. But I think once I chose to ignore the social norms in place that dub doing things alone as “weird” - and overcome feeling “weird” as I’ve done things alone - I’ve definitely felt more excited to schedule in quality time with myself. I personally can’t wait for this Rona nonsense to be over so I can resume planning my art/architecture trip.

“But Liv! How did you overcome the feelings of awkwardness and weirdness when you went out? How did you overcome the anxiety that people were looking at/judging you?”

Excellent question. The answer is hard drugs and loads of alcohol.

I’m kidding. I don’t think the anxiety ever fully goes away, since we’ve been so hardwired to see people without a group as an outcast or even a threat. But at some point I just decided to focus on enjoying myself, as opposed to worrying about what the people I’d never see again around me felt.

(Also… alcohol definitely helps. Drink responsibly, kids.)

4. Apparently I have a massive saviour complex?

I think most people that have known me for a long time or at least taken the time to get to know me properly would agree that I am a huge empath. I have always been highly perceptive of other peoples’ feelings, emotions and moods, and I am instinctively inclined to ensure that people feel seen and heard after speaking with me about whatever they needed to vent/get advice about. This, because I’m obviously a huge advocate of normalising talking about mental health struggles, and because I genuinely enjoy sensing that they feel better after confiding in me.

Now, I wouldn’t necessarily say that being an empath is a bad thing - in fact, these traits are some of the things I like the most about myself. But taking a step back from any kind of relationship/situationship has made me suddenly and painfully aware that my high levels of empathy may not be based in a fundamental kindness as I initially thought. In fact, part of it - and I have no idea how large this part is - may be due to a severe saviour complex, and therefore based in an inherent selfishness.

Yes, I know it’s confusing. Me too, I’m confused. Hear me out.

Sometimes I get so carried away while writing about all the ways that I’ve healed and bettered myself after my previous relationship… so much that I forget I had issues I was going to counselling for before he ruined everything and the sessions became all about getting over him. I genuinely forget sometimes that I had a life before I even knew he even existed, which just goes to show how large of an impact it had on me. Very sad, I know.

The stuff I was going to counselling for at the time had me in a very dark place, and looking back at it the breakup was kind of a blessing in disguise for my brain. I definitely think that refocusing my energy to heal from the relationship protected me from having to face certain aspects of myself that I wasn’t ready to deal with at the time.

Fast forward to a couple years later - I consider myself fully healed from the situation. I’ve learnt so much about myself, my mental health, relationships and love in general, and for a good year or so I was meeting new people and starting to think about a potential new relationship. I met some great people (and a couple nutcases) that things didn’t end up working out with, but I didn’t really mind that things weren’t going perfectly because I had hEaLeD™, and I had proved to myself that I could move on… so sh*t was sweet for a while.

However, when I decided to go on this dating hiatus, something I didn’t expect at all happened:

The issues, thoughts and feelings I was initially going to counselling for - before the breakup - started to come back to my attention. And this time, there was nowhere to run and nothing/nobody to distract me.

At this point in time, being forced to face these issues genuinely doesn’t feel as hard as it used to, as I have grown and matured a lot since when I first started feeling these things at around 14/15. I can think about things without it ruining the rest of my day, and I can put words to the feelings I struggled so much to verbalise back then. But regardless of how much easier it is now, it’s still f*cking hard - and this is what brings me back to my point about having a saviour complex.

The term “saviour complex” implies a deep rooted need to save/help people by fixing their problems - often at the expense of their own needs and feelings. Some would even go as far as saying that these “saviours” go out of their way to help others so they don’t have to deal with their own thoughts and feelings, and the more I think about it the more painfully obvious it is that perhaps my inclination to help people - and especially those that I’ve been involved with in some way - comes from a place of selfishness and an immense desire to not have to think about my own troubles.

This has definitely been a scary epiphany for me, and old habits have made me focus on the negative side of constantly trying to help and empathise with people. It’s made me question my entire character, in the sense that the traits that I’ve admired the most about myself might just be a defence mechanism so I don’t have to deal with my own sh*t. However, on the other hand, I’ve been spending a lot of energy reminding myself that regardless of what the truth is - if I ever figure it out - I’ve still been able to help people that have needed someone to be there for them, so does it even really matter what the reasons are at the end of the day? Probably not. I really need to keep working on getting out of my own head sometimes.

With that being said, being alone - whether it’s being single or temporarily for this lockdown - really forces you to face yourself and accept that maybe you don’t have everything as together as you thought, and that’s okay. As long as you acknowledge/fully feel your thoughts and feelings instead of dismissing them out of discomfort, the outcome can only be emotional growth and maturity.

5. My next relationship is going to be phenomenal.

Arguably to my disadvantage, and despite experiencing how peaceful and stress-free being completely single is… I still want love in my life, as long as it is on the right terms and healthy for both of us. I guess I’m just a hopeless romantic like that, at the end of the day… or a sick masochist.

I say this, but I know that all this work I’ve put into rebuilding and elevating myself will - when the time is right - bring someone amazing into my life, that will fully love my confidence, my imperfections and everything else about me that makes me, me. I have so much faith in this that for now, I’m really just chilling and going about my life and my own goals, as well as trusting the process. I feel no stress or anxiety about it anymore whatsoever, and I never thought I’d ever get to this point of calmness. It really is a great feeling to know that the next person lucky enough to be in a relationship with me is going to be nothing short of an additional blessing in my life (and I to theirs), because I am now no longer willing to compromise on or overlook toxic/unhealthy/bad vibes in whoever I end up with. For this reason, I would once again like to reiterate how grateful I am to myself for realising that this time alone was something I needed (and actually sticking to it) - it really has made me feel invincible.

The beautiful thing about all of these realisations is that you don’t even have to be as drastic as me (in terms of cutting the person/the people you’re talking to off) to get into a better headspace when it comes to relationships. If you’re lucky enough to be in a relationship with/dealing with someone that respects, loves and encourages your individuality, allocating quality time to spend with yourself shouldn’t even need to be justified. Obviously, a lot of relationships don’t really have a choice besides giving each other space during this lockdown, but even so I don’t think that time apart should be seen as a strain or a risk to the relationship. I feel so strongly about this that I’ve realised that I can’t even be with someone who doesn’t understand the importance of being our own, separate people who choose to form a team, as opposed to two incomplete individuals who are reliant on each other to feel whole.

With that being said, my biggest realisation and takeaway from this time alone is this:

My next relationship will not “complete” me; it will simply compliment my already existing wholeness.

Read that again.

Now - I know we’re all sick and tired of being cooped up in our houses. But we literally have all the time in the world to spend quality time with ourselves, so why not do so? Now is the perfect time for reflection, g-checking yourself, positive affirmations and self-love. I promise that you’ll come out of this lockdown feeling so much better about yourself.

Stay safe (and stay home)!

Love,

Liv

#selfhelp #love #empowerment

1 note · View note