#welp. i went to bed around 2 AM but woke up at 6 AM so that's why i think...

[dzpenumbra]

4/27/23

Okay so... I got to bed at around 2:30. And I struggled to get to sleep pretty bad. Like, tossing and turning and not able to actually fall asleep. I got there eventually, but was woken up by the sound of some really loud appliance, I still have no idea what it was or where it was coming from. This sound was at 5:50 AM. And I was supposed to be up for my apartment inspection at 9. I had an alarm set and everything.

I laid there for - no exaggeration - 2.5 hours trying to fall asleep again. No phone, no apps, just laying in bed with my eyes closed, trying to fall asleep. Doing breathing exercises, doing body relaxation techniques, visualization techniques, you name it. Everything I've learned over like 15 years of studying sleep hygiene techniques. And I just gave up and got up at like 8:30.

The guy showed up for the inspection at like 9:30, it was super quick, just an electrical inspection or something. He even gave me compliments about how clean my place was, which blew my mind. I started on a new abstract drawing, I'm gonna work on it more and I'll post it when it's done.

I went to take a nap around... fuck man, I don't even know. The whole day has been a huge blur, unfortunately. Temporally, at least. I put in the earbuds and put on some binaural beat thing for a 90 minute nap and... same problem. I "forgot" how to fall asleep. I've gotten this before, and it's like... it's a fucking torturous feeling. Being absolutely utterly exhausted... and not being able to fall asleep. And not knowing why, not knowing what you're doing wrong.

I napped successfully, though, and had some of the most intense dreams I've had in a long fuckin time. It was surreally like... norse-age, with these weird mutated people that were cutting off a water supply or something? I have no clue and that probably sounds ridiculous, but this dream was legit one of the most vivid I've had in ages. The colors, the sounds, the imagery; so memorable. I might try fucking with that binaural stuff to see if I can amplify how vivid my dreams get. You know... intentionally... like when I want it to happen.

I woke up at like... 2, I think? My car reservation was at 1, but was until 5. I made sure to book a big window just in case something like this happened, I just didn't expect it to be... like 4 hours of sleep total.

And I looked up like... more sleep techniques and the shit I was doing was literally what they train for people in the military who need to sleep while sitting up and shit. And it didn't fucking work. And it said on there, this might not work with people who have ADHD and/or anxiety issues. Welp, there ya go...

I showered and said fuck it and went. The walk to the car alone had my shins fuckin throbbing. I speed-walk a bit too much when I walk around the city, I'm just... 1). not used to urban environments and they still make me feel unsafe, and 2). not used to walking in shoes, tbh.

But that was remedied (and reminded, which is why I even noticed the speed-walking) by finally getting back into nature.

A quick stop at Walgreens first, to get the steroid cream the doctor prescribed me... a month ago... And they had to redo it, because of how long it took me to get there. XD So I sat there nodding off for like... 20 minutes...

But then I went to the park. And I got to hike barefoot again, and it was such an at-home feeling. I was out there until like 6. I think it was a total of about 3 miles of walking? I explored a bunch, they had some cool constructions like staircases and bridges and shit, very well-made stuff. There was even a beach right on the lake, it was very pretty and peaceful. I found some rocks that I brought home, I'm going to try to clean them up and see how they come out. There was a decent amount of sandstone there, which is actually pretty cool because it's super soft, so it's easy to carve. I'm going to see what working with it is like and then go from there, if I feel like trying to source more. It's cool how different the types of stone are around here.

For real, just being out in the woods alone, no music, no distractions, just me and nature, bare feet on the ground, wind on the skin, it was great. I missed it a lot. It's like... the polar opposite of how I feel when I'm in the city... XD

Driving wasn't as nerve-wracking as I thought. It was fine. Got the car back half an hour early, ordered a pizza. The car did cost a total of $50 for it being mine from 1-7... (I added 2 hours and I'm glad I did) which is like... ugh... But when you consider I never actually drive anywhere and compare that to buying a car, or paying lease payments? It ain't bad, especially when I don't even pay for gas.

So yeah, those earplugs I ordered were delivered this afternoon. Talk about fucking timing... -_- I'm gonna try them tonight. Like I said a few nights ago, I don't have to listen out for pets anymore, so... fuck it. Hope they work for me, I think if I can sleep with AirPods in, I should be able to sleep with earplugs in okay.

Definitely bed time. I can barely keep my eyes open.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[andreakedavra]

i slept for hours (from 09:30 AM to 13:30 PM) and just woke up for lunch... ughhh

#i don't feel disoriented but gross because i fucking slept too much!!! #and without reason! 😭 #welp. i went to bed around 2 AM but woke up at 6 AM so that's why i think... #anyways. lots of things happened at home while i was sleeping - my siblings ate the leftover lasagna :) #andrew talks

[fvrxdrm]

City of the Living Dead

Chapter 6

"September 28, 2:30 am... It's down to just me and 3 others. No weapons...no ammo...and too many skirmishes have drained us mentally and physically. We're not gonna make it... Officer Phillips once suggested we escape through the sewers. Apparently, there's a secret tunnel under this place left over from its museum days. I brushed her idea off before, but now, it's not sounding all that bad. Yeah, there's no proof there's even a tunnel or that the sewers aren't infested with zombies, but I don't wanna sit here and wait to die, either. It's a long shot, but I'm gonna try to find out what I can about that tunnel... Elliot Edward," you read, "Shit. Rest in peace, buddy." You placed the transcript back to where you found it and proceeded in scanning the room you and Leon were in.

It was an office of some sort with mahogany desks occupying the center, swivel chairs pointing towards every direction, some paperworks piled in a stack and some (or rather most) cluttered all over the tables and floor. It looked like a hurricane together with an earthquake and a tsunami clashed and crashed in the area.

"Leon, w-" your head twisted and turned as you looked for best friend and even called out to him when you found him just staring at something on the ceiling, his trembling lips pinned in between pearly-white teeth, eyebrows furrowed upwards, and eyes looking like a dam was about to breakdown because of too much pressure. You went towards where he was standing and followed his gaze. You gasped. He was looking at stringed triangle banners with letters printed out on each of them

WEL COME LEON

Your face began to mirror Leon's but a pained smile differentiated yours from his as a sudden rush of memory enlightened your brain. "Hey, look, the design's the same as the banner I surprised you with when we were 15," you said, raising an arm to point at the triangular flags.

Leon chuckled softly at what you said and nodded while a sneaky tear flowed down his cheek in a tiny stream. "Yeah."

"Come on, Leon! I worked hard for this." You hauled on your friend's wrist and led him towards his room with a strain as Leon's languor held him back.

"This better be good, Y/N. You fucking woke me up and I'm really close to fucking strangling you." His voice was a little hoarse from having just woken up right before you pulled him off of the couch and he was still lowkey tired because of the three-hour rest he had last night, but as much as he wanted to throw you out of his house and fall into a well-deserved slumber again, he was into surprises and was curious as to what you had in store. So, he went along with it even though he was pretty much a sloth still.

"I promise you'll love it." You chortled.

Leon sighed in defeat before loosening up and letting you pull him towards where you wanted to take him for this so-called surprise with a rub of his crusty eyes.

When a familiar door came into view in front of you, you covered Leon's eyes with one of your hands and twisted the door knob, revealing a bedroom with a banner hovering over Leon's messy bed, before lightly pushing him inside.

"All right, here we are," you spoke as you removed your hand from your face, moving right beside him to watch Leon's face as it shifted from being enraptured to crestfallen real quick. You guffawed in a boisterous way at his reaction and plummeted down to the ground whilst clutching your stomach in a joyful pain.

YOU SUCK LEON

"Really, Y/N? This-this is what you wanted to show me?"

"It's true though, you actually suck!"

"Come on, you know you only won in Street Fighter because I let you," he whined. You stood up from being laid on the floor before clutching onto Leon's shoulder for dear life.

"For 20 times? Really?" You laughed again, "nah, you just suck, bro."

Leon narrowed his eyes at you with lips pressing tightly in a thin line and turned towards you, his feet moving slowly in tandem as he approach you with a spurious anger, his hands closing into fists.

"What?" You asked with a nervous chuckle and feet backing up in rhythm with his laggard advances.

"You think I suck?" His voice imitated a dark tone. Had you not been slightly scared - which you hated to admit - you would've busted a gut at how ridiculous it sounded.

"I mean, yeah, it's already said in the banner, dimwitt."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Well, let's see who sucks now!"

Welp, that's my cue!

You dodged Leon's attack by the skin of your teeth, stumbling on a stupid pencil for a bit, before proceeding to run around the house to avoid Leon's "spider fingers" as you call it and making a tiny bit of a mess. However, your luck has gone away and he eventually caught you when you accidentally tripped over the leg of a chair, throwing you into his bed and tickling each spot that would make you squirm and and laugh.

"I still suck, huh?"

"N-no, fine...y-you don't...s-suck," you cried in between heavy breaths and hysterics. Satisfied with your remark, Leon stopped his fingers from moving and plopped down beside you, taking a moment to catch his breath before he pulled you closer to his body and spooned you. "You still couldn't win yesterday though."

"Yeah, well, I know a million ways to win your heart though."

"Fuck off, Le-le." Leon tsked at the nickname.

"Y/N, that sounds awful as fuck."

"Whatever." You felt his lashes kiss the nape of your neck as he closed his eyes to give them another four hours of rest, your own following afterwards when you heard Leon's muffled voice vibrate against your shirt.

"Hey, you wanna be my date for homecoming?"

"I thought you already asked Lexee to be your date."

"Dante already asked her out, so..."

"Okay, fine, I'll be your date." You squeezed his hand before intertwining your fingers with his and smiling when you felt him kiss your hair.

"Thanks, Y/N. Good night."

"It's 10 in the morning, dumba-"

"Shh... Rock-a-bye baby..."

"You do suck though." You light-heartedly nudged Leon's side and wrinkled your eyes in a grin, chuckling when he returned the gesture with a titter.

"I really don't," he retorted back.

"Sure." You took his hand in yours and gently squeezed it in a comforting way to ease the two of you before placing a feather's kiss on the back of it. "Come on, we still have a job to do."

*****

Leon S. Kennedy, we're putting you on a very special case for your first assignment. Your mission is...to unlock your desk! The key to your success is in the initials of our first names. Input the letters in order of our desks. There are 2 locks- 1 on each side of your desk. Make sure you get them both. Basically, your first task is to remember your fellow officers' names, but you figured that much out, right? Good luck, Leon. By the way, it might take a little work to get Scott to give you a straight answer.

Lieutenant Branagh

Scrawled in a corner between drops of blood on the paper was an additional note the lieutenant had written while he and his fellow officers were isolated and trapped, and it read:

Be glad you're not here, rookie.

"Remember your fellow officers' names..."

"I think that means the initials of my supposedly co-workers' names should be the password to open these locks on my desk." Leon stood up from where he was knelt down on the floor and casted around from desk to desk, unlocking the padlocks on his table and claiming the prize after accomplishing his "first assignment" - a magazine for his beloved Matilda.

You smiled when Leon pulled out the gun he's had since the beginning of his adult years, another retention reminding you of the peaceful days you once had before you started walking right into confusion.

Matilda was a gift Leon's father had given him on his 18th birthday, a few months before he died of cancer. He was happy about it, and knowing how his family had supported his decision on him becoming a cop, his heart fluttered inside and he couldn't be more grateful about it. Leon held onto it everyday, even becoming a bit hesitant about leaving it behind whenever he went to school. And when his father passed away because of said illness, he grasped onto the weapon the same way he did when his dad was still alive, if not more.

"Happy birthday, Leon. Happy birthday, Leon. Happy birthday, happy birthday... Happy birthday, Leon... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LEON!"

Leon's cheeks stretched in an almost painful way as everyone erupted into cheers and confetti fell from the ceiling. Each person was wearing cone-shaped hats and the living room was decorated with different ornaments colored in his favorite hues. His family was there and so were his friends, and oh, how could he almost forget...

It was his 18th birthday!

"So, what do you think?" You spoke from behind him. He turned around to see you smiling like an idiot and tugging on the string of a party you picked up from the floor.

"This," he began. "This is amazing! Wh-"

"Well, son, the candle's almost melting. Wanna make a wish?" Leon's dad emerged from behind the small crowd with a three-layered cake balanced on top of his palms. The icing of the pastry was blue, edible police-related finishing touches garnished it with such perfection he almost didn't want to eat it for the sake of admiring and staring at the cake, and a single candle formed into the number 18 as an emphasis to his recent age was placed on top with a tiny flame dancing around in the air. Leon closed his eyes and wished for the best before blowing the candle, watching as the fire disappeared into a swirling smoke. Everyone rejoiced once again.

When voices had began dying down one by one, Leon's father called his name and picked up a box from underneath the table after placing the cake down where it wouldn't fall down.

"Leon, you're going to be attending the police academy soon and in the next few years you'll be the cop you always wanted. So, as a gift, I give you this gun." He opened the rectangular cardboard box where a gun laid and presented it to his child, Leon's eyes sparkling in delight at his very own weapon. "I know you'll be taking good care of Matilda."

"Matilda?" Leon asked in confusion.

"You know, like, Mathilda from Leon: The Professional," his dad replied. Leon chuckled in response before he carefully took the gun out of its container, still a bit iffy about touching it.

"I'll be taking good care of this, dad."

"I know you will."

"You still have that gun?" You spoke as you gestured towards his firearm.

"Yep, she still looks good as new. I didn't want to break my promise," Leon responded. He turned his gun around to show you just how much he kept it safe like a mother would to a child. Your E/C orbs twinkled in admiration, a feeling in your heart you had kept for a very long time flittering in a joyous manner for the first time since you last saw him.

"Nothing's really changed, huh?"

"I don't want to change anything for now...especially now that you're back here with me."

*****

So, I found this image on google and an idea suddenly popped into my head lmao.

Anyway, WE'RE BACK! I was busy in school blah blah blah. I think yall know that already.

#leonkennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagines #leon s kennedy x reader #leonxreader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil #residentevil2 #resident evil fanfic #leon kennedy #leon kennedy fanfic

[wordsfromthesol]

Out of Place (1/6)

Author: @wordsfromthesol Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader Summary: Meeting Dick, and the rest of the batboys.  You’re confused, since you are nowhere near Bludhaven or Gotham. Some tragedies, some battles, etc. Happy ending because I’m a sap.  Warnings: Language, blood and torture and other injuries Word Count: 1.5k A/N: First post ever, I’m almost finished with the story and hope to post the rest soon. 

Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6

Why you had let yourself stay up until four in the morning was beyond you. Why you thought it was a good idea to start a movie at two in the morning was also a choice you questioned. Alright, it was definitely time to try and sleep. You made your way to the bedroom when suddenly you heard a faint knock at the door. What the hell. It’s 4 am, who is at my fucking door. You grabbed your gun, because whoever it was sure as hell shouldn’t be there. Glancing through the peep hole you see a man clad in a black and blue spandex costume sunken down at your doorstep, covered in blood. Great. You threw the gun onto your kitchen counter and opened the door. Slowly you dragged the man into your kitchen. Fuck, this dude is heavy. Where is all this blood coming from? After finding the zipper to this impossibly tight costume you pulled it down around his waist. A huge cut along his abdomen was revealed. Shit. You ran to the bathroom and gathered all the medical supplies you had. After cleaning the wound, a realization hit you. I’m going to have to sew this. Fuck. You grabbed some string and a sewing needle. This doesn’t feel right. String? Wait! I have fishing line. Granted you used it to hang Halloween decoration, but it should work better than string. Just as soon as you finished sewing up the cut you heard another knock at the door. Police? You cracked the door open, just enough so they couldn’t see the man bleeding out in your kitchen.

“Is there a problem, officers?”

“Well, we were chasing a man. Think he ran this way.” The officer glanced down at the blood on your doormat.

“Strange, I just woke up for my morning workout. I haven’t heard anything.”

“Right…well, let us know if you have. It’s a dangerous place.”

“Will do, thanks officers!”

Officers, yeah right. Your dad had worked in the government since before you were born. You knew the mannerisms of the police. Those two definitely were not police.

Alright, one giant wound down. You glanced at the masked figure. Who knows how many more to go… You noticed a bruise forming on his jawline. At least that one’s an easier fix. You wet all your dish towels and threw them into the freezer. Turning back to the man -- slowly dying in your kitchen -- you began to wipe him down with a washcloth, searching for the source of all this blood. Making your way up to his shoulder, you notice a hole in his skin. Is that a fucking bullet? Alright, blood is coming out of the wound and it doesn’t seem to be near any major arteries. You cringed and plunged your fingers into the wound. The man’s body tensed, but you quickly pulled the bullet out.

“Sorry, sorry. But…that kinda had to come out.” To your surprise, the man slowly nodded at you.

“Wait, wait, you’re awake? Shit. Okay, hang on.” You grab some water, some lovely 800mg ibuprofen you had leftover from when you sprained your ankle, and some melatonin. You shoved the pills into his mouth without even thinking and handed him the water. You didn’t know if the medicine helped or not, but soon the masked man was passed out once again. Alright…guess now we continue. You carefully rolled the man to his side and located another giant gash. Round two. After rolling him back, you noticed more blood. Fuck. You pulled the suit completely off. Great, now I get to stitch up a naked man. Another gash was found on his thigh. You searched once more and cleaned up all the minor scraps. Well, at least the fucker is alive. Opening the freezer, you pulled out a cold dish rag and placed it on the darkening bruise.

You grabbed your deflated air mattress and set it up next to him. After rolling him once more onto the flattened mattress, you plugged it in and inflated the thing. Well at least he will be a little more comfortable. Your mind fought with what to do with the stranger.

Should he sleep in my room? What if he wakes up and tries to kill me? What if he wakes up and freaks out, undoing all of your hard work? What if he needs help in the middle of the night and you can’t hear him because you shoved him in the living room?

You had decided, pulling the air mattress into your bedroom. You laid down in your bed, but the moment was short lived. He soon started thrashing in his sleep. Fuck. You ran over to him and held his wrists. Fuck. He was burning up. Quickly grabbing the rest of the frozen dish towels, you placed them over his body. His head, his stomach, his neck. The nakedness was starting to get to you. Not that he wasn’t ungodly attractive, but you kind of needed to focus. Ha…I got it. Chuckling to yourself, you pulled a lovely fluffy pink robe out of your wardrobe. Carefully, you wrapped him up and threw the blanket to the ground. He was seeming to cool down. Still, you couldn’t move from his side. Suddenly you felt a hand grab yours. Welp, guess I’m sleeping on the floor.

Sleep came in quick spurts, never more than thirty minutes. You were too afraid this stranger was going to die in your bedroom. Finally, you wriggled out of his grasp and went to the kitchen. Nearly 10 am. Fuck. You called into work and claimed to be ill. Turning on the coffee, you decided cooking would best distract you. Sausage, biscuits, gravy, eggs, and pancakes littered the kitchen island.  

You sat on the couch and chose a movie to occupy your time. Once you finished eating, you realized that just sitting here was not helping. Turning on your PlayStation, you hoped that occupying your hands would help distract from the dying man in your bedroom. 

An hour passed and the masked man slowly walked from your bedroom. Quickly, you got up to help him.

“Uhm…good. You didn’t die in my apartment.”

He glanced around, and then down at your robe. He looked up and raised his eyebrow.

“Oh, that. Well. I had to find out where the blood was coming from. Very clearly, I am not similar to your size…and I didn’t really want to leave you naked.” He nodded silently. You continued, “I made plenty of food. Not sure what you wanted or liked. Anyways…help yourself!”

He slowly made his way into the kitchen. You grabbed a plate and some silverware and placed it by the buffet of food. “Oh, there’s coffee too”, you placed a mug next to the machine. Walking into the living room, you grabbed your own empty mug and filled it to the brim. “Alrighty, so I don’t know if you’re mute or in shock or whatever. But I looked you up last night. Nightwing, huh? Bludhaven? Isn’t that kinda far from here?” He barely acknowledged you were talking as he made his way to the table. Cool, you save this dude’s life and now he’s either refusing to talk to you or he can’t talk to you.  You unpaused your game and decided to just give him some space to realize what was going on.

“So…you like superheroes”, he stated as he glanced around the apartment and nodded towards the game you were playing.

Shocked the man had spoken, you turned towards him. “Well…I…FUCK!” The distraction had just led to your character dying.

Chuckling, “Sorry about that.”

Glaring at him, you set the controller down. “So…you can speak. Great.”

“Well, I had to see what you were about. I’m whelmed”

“Whelmed? What we making our own language now?”

Smiling, he grabbed his stomach.

“Right, so you had some pretty bad cuts.” Gesturing on your own body to location of his wounds. “Oh and a gunshot wound here,” tapping your left shoulder. “I stitched you up…not sure if I did it right, all I had was fishing line…” Trailing off you heard a faint laugh emerge from the man’s mouth.

“Fishing line…that’s actually pretty smart.”

“Okay, well. If you aren’t going to die on me, I’m going to run to the store. You clearly need clothes other than the spandex, and I’m going to need more medical supplies to fix you up. Sizes?” You grabbed your purse and keys and headed for the front door.

“Oh…and don’t snoop through my shit” You called out as you walked out.

You tried to be as quick as possible, you did not like the fact that this masked vigilante was alone in your apartment. Shit, you idiot. You thought as you remembered you left your gun on the coffee table.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson imagine #batboys imagine #batboys x reader #nightwing x read #nightwing imagine #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #nighwing x reader

[thebaddie96-blog]

Once In A Life Time

~Chapter 2~

My Airbnb was a cute yet small studio with a great view of the city. There were stairs that lead to a queen bed above the kitchen, shit I even have a bidet. I don't even know how to work that thing but I'm sure as hell gonna use it.

“Ok B, it's your first day in South Korea. What are you gonna do?’”

“Mmmhmm well I don't know Be-Be let us think!!”

"K Dramas!!!" I yell and rush to turn on the TV. I settle into a show called 'Revenge Note' but not even 5 minutes into the show I start to doze off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*buzz buzz* *buzz buzz*

"Mmm." *buzz buzz* "ugh."

Slowly I wake up to the sound of my phone buzzing in my ear. Grabbing it I answer without looking, much to my regret.

“BE-BE!!! HOW DARE YOU WORRY ME LIKE THIS?" I pull back the phone checking the caller I.D.

"Min-ho?"

"So now you remember your friends. Are you sleeping? You've been in Korea for 6 hours and you chose to sleep!!" Ugh he is so dramatic.

"Chill Min-Min ok it was a 14 hour flight cut me some slack and on top of that my entire outfit  got ruined by some sexy tattooed god. Which reminds me I still have to change."

"Sexy Tattooed God??? Give me the phone. Hello?"

"So-eun heyyyy girly."

"Don't hey girly me, we will be at your place in 20min be ready." And with that she hung up. 

Ugh great. 

Min-ho and So-eun are old friends of mine. I've known them for about 5 years when they came to America to study abroad at the same college I was in. Even though I didn't stay in school I stayed in contact with them. Sometime around their senior year they decided it would be a good idea to date and have been together ever since. Min-ho is pretty outspoken but a softy at heart, but So-eun she is a force to be reckoned with.

I really just wanted to sleep. The flight was really long and I need time to refresh my senses. Sighing I get up, take a quick 5 minute shower then put on some black ripped skinny jeans and a black top. Just as I get my shoes on Min-Min calls me letting me know they are here. Welp here we go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We sat inside a Korean BBQ restaurant and god I didn't realize how hungry I was. My friends could barely get in a word as they watched me chomp down on the several beef strips Min-Min grilled for us. 

"Ok ok B, slow the fuck down.선량" So-eun request looking around the restaurant at all the eyes watching amazed I could consume so much. I swallow hard then burp sitting back in my chair.

"Sorry I didn't realize how hungry I was and the food is so good!" I say scoping a big chunk of white rice in my mouth.

“Babe i’m so glad you're here. I’ve missed you so much.” Min-ho says pulling me into a hug. “How was the flight in? Did you navigate your way to the airbnb well? Why didn’t you call us when you landed? you know we would have come get you. Why were your clothes ruined? These are questions I need answers to."

“Min-ho! Chill ok. The flight, the flight was... rough but I made it. I didn’t really navigate myself to my airbnb but I got there safe. I told you I wanna experience Seoul for myself. And the answer to the last question; it's an un- interesting story.” I finished stuffing more meat in my mouth.

“Great we love un-interesting stories.” So-eun states snatching my chopsticks out of my hand. I roll my eyes slouching back in my seat.

“Really it's nothing, I was waiting for my taxi, a private car zoomed up to the curb and in the process splashed a shit ton of dirty street water all over me. The driver and his boss felt bad so they offered to drive me to my airbnb.” They just sat there staring.

“Ok… and when does the sexy tattooed god come into the story.” Min-ho say mimicking my statement from earlier. So-eun slaps his shoulder motioning for him to be quiet.

“The boss of the driver was the sexy tattooed god. But he was weird, he kept smiling at me and wasn’t really listening to anything I was saying it was just let me wipe your face this let my driver drive you that. I mean come on he didn’t even know me. I could have killed his driver and stolen the car."

“But you didn’t.” So-eun says smiling

“Shut up!” rolling my eyes I throw a piece of kimchi at her. “He told his driver to give me his card In case I “need” any extra help."

“That's great, let me see his card.”

“I don’t have it, it's back at the airbnb.” I quickly snatch back my chopsticks and continue eating.

“Well did you at least get his name?” Min-ho asked. 

“Nope he never said and I didn’t really look at the card.” They both just roll their eyes giving up. “ His diver did refer to him as Mr. Yu tho” 

“Ok that could be anyone in South Korea.” 

I just shrug trying to enjoy my meal. I didn’t come to Korea for guys no matter how beautiful or sexy they might be. No matter how well designed and applied their tattoos are.

“When is your meeting with AMOG?”

“Not till Friday. I came early to hang out, sight see and shop.”

“I still can't believe they are thinking of signing you on as a label choreographer.” So-eun gushes.

“Thats not why they’re calling me in. Besides it’s all thanks to Min-Min if he hadn’t slipped Jay Park my youtube channel I doubt I would be here.”

“Nope don’t do that, he found you I just simply stated you were my best friend in the whole world at our last photoshoot.” Min-ho went to school for fashion design and styling. He is on the come up as one of South Korea's top stylists. And So-hun is his manager, don’t let her personality fool you when it comes to business shawty doesn’t play. 

"Welp either way it's just a trial. To see how i fit in with the group, and how much of a demand Im needed/ wanted." 

I've been dancing for pretty much my whole life but I stopped my freshman year of college after my mom passed. She really wanted me to be a lawyer or psychologist or something like that so I tried to do it her way. But one day I had a dream about her and she told me how happy she was that I would think to follow the dream she had for me but she would be much happier if I followed my own dreams. After I woke up I quit school and started dancing full time. Crazy right but if I didn't have that dream I honestly don't know where I would be right now.

"You'll do great!! Don't second guess you're self."  I just nod shrugging it off. Im really just happy to be here. If it works out it works out if it doesn't…..then even will be ok. I hope.

“I have to go pee.”

“Great thanks for sharing.” Getting up I stroll to the bathroom and flash a smile over my shoulder. Min-ho pulls So-eun into a hug and kisses her forehead. Aww they are so cute. I throw them one last look and head toward the bathroom. 

After doing my do I quickly washed my hands. I do 2 quick poses checking my outfit then exit the door.

“Dude your drunk! Watch out!” I turn my head to the commotion coming from my right. Some guy clearly drunk off his shits was attempting to dance on one of the tables in the restaurant. 

“Leave me alone you party pooper.” he suddenly picks up a hand full of Sigeumchi Namul and chucks it at the guy smearing the seasoned green vegetable on his face and shirt. The drunk guy on top of the table proceeds to laugh his ass off. The other guy now irritated picks up a hand full of Oi Muchim and throws it very forcefully at the man laughing hysterically. Suddenly he slips in his drunken fit smashing to the ground near their table. The Oi Muchim that was originally meant for the namji on the floor sprung through the air toward my direction. It was as if everything was in slow motion. So-eun and I had the same reaction oh shock as the one who inflected the throw eyes burst open as a look of ‘oh fuck’ crossed his face. 

Well isn’t this just great. With not enough time to react I felt the slippery red sauce splat on my chest and neck and the green cucumbers creating their own personal design on my belly. Just great.

The guy who threw the Oi Muchim sprinted from his table towards me forgetting about his friend who now looks passed out on the floor.

“I am so sorry, that was not meant for you.”  he speaks with an incredibly deep voice. almost demonic like. I give him a "no shit Sherlock" look then proceed to flick the access food off of me.

“ You had better be are you fucking kidding me, why don’t you and your drunk of a friend go to a bar if you’re gonna do shit like this.” So-eun dashes from our table next to me helping me clean off.

“So-eun it’s fine. Clearly his friend is going through something, no one can get drunk at 2 o’clock in the afternoon.”

“Yeah.” The guy states rubbing the back of his head. “We just lost a pretty big deal for our company and he is taking it pretty hard. But that is still no excuse.”

“You damn right.” I shoot So-eun a glare signaling for her to shut up.

“Please let me make it up to you; no let my buddy make it up to you. He will pay for your meal.” Both So-eun and I looked on either side of this stranger to checkout his friend who is still on the ground passed out with his pants halfway down. So-eun and I share a look giggling a bit at the picture in front of us. 

“Its ok you guys are good I-”

“I’m sorry hold on for a sec.” So-eun grabs me and turns us around giving our back to the guy. “Are you seriously trying to give up a free meal?”

“Look this is the second time today that I had an outfit ruined. I'm over it let's just go pay the bill, grab chicken and beer and go back to my place.”

So-eun just sighs “B, I can't let you do this, it's a free meal.” 

“What's a free meal?” Where has he been throughout this whole commotion. “Woah babe what happened to your clothes.”

“Where have you been? Could you not hear all the commotion?” So-eun accuses Min-ho, slapping his chest. He just stares looking confused. 

"I had a phone call."

“Min-ho? What's up bro.” All of our eyes dart to the guy behind us. I almost forgot he was there.

“Woo? What's up, what are you doing here?” So-eun and my head shoot back toward Min-ho.

“Hold up, yall know each other?”

“Yeah Woo and I go way back I do a lot of the styling for Dynamic Duo.” Both of our faces form an O and slowly look back to this Woo guy. Looking him up and down we both take in his appearance. Black jeans that fit his legs very well, a slim black loose fitted shirt slightly hugging his biceps and two full sleeves of tattoos covering his arms and hands. Jesus, he must eat sleep and breathe the gym. Finally scanning up to his face I am shocked by his incredible jawline and cheekbones. The man was something out of a horror film. Mmm maybe a soft core horror film cause you couldn’t deny he was attractive.

“Ehem.” he clears his throat looking at us, although it sounded more like a rough growl. “So about that meal.”

“Dude are you hitting on my best friend! At a restaurant?” You can always count on Min-oh to completely read a situation wrong. He smiles giving this Woo guy two thumbs up and a wink.

“ You know what, do what you guys want. Have him pay for the meal, don't have him pay. I don't care. I’m gonna go and see if i can find a new shirt. I'll meet you guys at the car.” walking to our previous table I grab my bag and head out the door.

“Really Min-ho” So-eun smacks his shoulder.”

#scenarios #stories #friends #fanfic #monsterwoo #demonwoo #ambw bwam #newchapter

[lapixie]

Ten Years Later Chapter 6

Chapter 1 ll Chapter 2 ll Chapter 3 ll Chapter 4 II Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Getting to his room and opening the door seemed to take longer than it ever had before. That could be because of them stopping and kissing and groping and stripping, but still. It took forever. By the time he was kicking the door closed behind him, he was naked, and he had a naked Peter in his arms.

He reached down, pulling both of their cocks into his hand, squeezing them together, sliding his hand up and back down. Backing up a step, he picked Peter up and threw him on his mattress, following him down. Peter huffed out a laugh, that quickly turned into a moan as Tony swallowed him down to the root. He pulled back up, sucking and licking, raising his hand to twist on Peter’s cock to the right, as he twisted his head to the left. Then he changed direction on both as he made his descent back down. He reached with his other hand to cup Peter’s balls, and when his mouth was all the way down, nose against his perfect abs, he hummed.

Peter’s back arched off the bed, breathy moans coming out of his mouth non-stop, as his hands found purchase in Tony’s hair, tugging lightly. Tony took the hand holding his balls, lowering it to smooth over his pucker, circling it, lightly pressing, without actually entering it.

“Tony, stop playing and fuck me! I want to come with you inside of me!” Peter almost sobbed out, sounding wrecked. He reached over to his bedside drawer and grabbed his lube out. Pouring some on his fingers, he pushed one finger into Peter as he swallowed him down again.

“More Tony, I won’t break. I’m not a virgin, and I’m Spiderman. I can take it.” Tony almost laughed at how aggravated Peter sounded with him. His boy did not want to wait! Sliding his finger out, he quickly added more lube and pushed two in, scissoring them apart for a few minutes, before quickly adding a third. Brushing over Peter’s prostate, he reveled in the sounds coming out of his mouth. Finally pulling all three fingers out, shushing Peter’s whimper at the empty feeling, he lined himself up, and pushed all the way in, in one movement, trusting Peter to know his body.

Bottoming out, he had to take a minute to just breathe, holding on with everything he had, not to come.

“Oh, baby, you feel so good around my cock. So tight, like you were made for me.”

“Daddy, give it to me harder, I need it!” Peter keened out, face flushed and tossing around.

“Have you been a good boy? Do you deserve it?”

“No daddy, I’ve been bad! So bad! You should punish me!”

Looking up, Tony could see the smirk on Peter’s face. Guess his little boy wasn’t so sweet and innocent. He started moving, not easing into it, just immediately pounding away. He could feel his hips slamming into Peter’s, knowing he’d have bruises tomorrow, but knowing it was worth it. Lifting one of Peter’s legs to his shoulder, changing the angle just enough, he could tell by Peter’s reaction that he had found his prostate. Peter went to reach for his leaking cock, but Tony smacked his hand away.

“That’s daddy’s. Only good boys get their cocks touched. You’ll have to come only by my cock, if you want to come.”

With that, Tony braced his legs against the mattress, hooked Peter’s other leg, bending him in half, raising his ass off the bed completely, and started jack-hammering directly into his prostate.  He knew he was going to be coming quickly, but with the sounds coming from Peter, and the tightening of his abs, he wasn’t going to take any longer. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach, as he tried to go impossibly deeper and harder.

“Baby, I’m gonna come, you’re gonna make daddy come. You’ve been so good. Such a good boy, a good little cockslut just for daddy. Are you daddy’s good boy, Pete?”

“Yes, daddy! I’m your good boy! Come in me, I need your cum, I need it inside of me, daddy. Daddy...dadd--”

The last daddy was cut off, as Peter came all over his stomach, cock untouched, his clenching ass pulling Tony’s orgasm out of him. Letting Peter’s legs go, Tony collapsed on top of him, kissing little kisses into his neck and chest.

Finally pulling out, he couldn’t help his smile at Peter’s little whine.  Getting up, he got a face cloth and proceeded to clean both of them up. When he was finished, he threw it in the general direction of his hamper, and lay back down, pulling Peter to cuddle on his chest.

“Okay, I think it really is time to have a talk now. I want to make sure no one gets hurt, so we need to know what it is we’re doing here.” Tony said a bit nervously. He knew he was all in, but Peter was still young. And hot. And Spiderman.

“Aw, Tony, you want to DTR?” Peter giggled up at him.

“I want to...what now?” Color him confused, but he had no idea what Peter was saying.

“DTR. Define the relationship. I’m down. I’ll lay my cards on the table. I’ve loved you since I was fifteen. I’ve worked for ten years to bring you back. If you’re not going anywhere, neither am I,” Peter looked up at him, a sly grin forming on his face, before continuing, “I’m yours daddy. Yours to do whatever you want with.”

Even though Tony was not a teenager anymore, or a super powered person, that grin, with those words, did a valiant job of trying to make him hard again.

“Baby, you’re speaking my language. My own little spiderling, to do whatever I want with? Well, right now, I want you to sleep with me. Just sleep. Wrapped together, warm and safe.”

Peter’s face softened and he hugged a little bit tighter to Tony’s chest. “That I can do. Goodnight Tony, I’ll be here in the morning.”

The following morning, Tony woke up to a warm, wet vice around his cock. His hips were already bucking up as he blearily opened his eyes and looked down. Seeing Peter’s head bobbing up and down was all it took, and he was coming down his throat with no warning. Peter swallowed it down, bucking his own hips against the bed, before looking up at Tony and smiling, licking his lips.

“Morning, Tony. Did you have a good dream?”

“The best, baby. Now, come up here so I can return the favor.”

Crawling up Tony’s body, Peter responded, “No need. Just feeling you in my mouth was enough for me. We may have to change the sheets though,” he giggled out.

“Well, let me go make breakfast for you then.”

Peter cocked an eyebrow, “Oh, so you decided to kick me out anyway?”

Remembering back to their conversation the first morning he made breakfast, Tony huffed out a laugh. “No, baby boy, daddy’s keeping you forever.”

Getting up, they threw on some clothes, and Tony had to admit he liked the look of Peter dressed in his clothes. They walked out to the kitchen, and Tony started gathering all the supplies he would need, making sure it was enough for everyone. While they didn’t have breakfast together every day, he had a feeling that after last night, they’d have more people than usual.

Sure enough, halfway through his second batch of pancakes, the table was already full, with Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, Nat, Cap, and even Bruce. Finishing up, he placed the last batch on the table and sat down. “Okay, you animals, go at it! No biting, no fighting!” He laughed out. They all just rolled their eyes at him as they (mostly) civilly went about filling their plates. “So I know why you guys all decided you needed breakfast right now. So go ahead, ask your questions.”

There was some glancing around before Steve shrugged and decided to just ask bluntly, “So, you and Peter. Hookup? Friends with benefits? More? Less?”

Tony looked over to Peter and smiled softly. “Not that it’s any of your businesses, but more. Definitely more. And we’re gonna leave it at that. Speaking of new relationships…” he trailed off as he looked over to Rhodey, sitting next to Pepper, hands intertwined, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Nope. Not gonna do it. You dirty minded people. Just know that we are in a relationship.” Rhodey smiled over at Tony.

“Welp, I’m happy for you, Sugar-bear! Treat her right, though, or…” Tony trailed off, faux threateningly. 

“Or what? What are you gonna do to me, Tones?” Rhodey laughed back at him.

“Nothing. I don’t gotta do anything. Pep’s able to take care of herself. I was just warning you about that.” Tony replied innocently, raising an eyebrow. “Okay then,” he continued, “as fun as this has been, it’s time to go back to the lab. We have a universe to save. You coming Pete?” Peter just nodded and stood, carrying his plate to the sink. “Ciao, people! If you come visit, remember to knock first!” He yelled as he walked into the elevator Friday had waiting for him. Peter just placed his shaking head into his hands, following after him, clearly exasperated already.

“Have fun Peter! If he gives you too much trouble, just call me!” Pepper laughed after them.

Tag list:

@stxrker-fan-xx @lokitonypeter @professional-fangirl75

#starker #starker fic #tony x peter #peter x tony #ironspider #au #ten years later

[lexiy-dreyar]

Mehcanics birthday

words:1,466

tw:fluffyness

charaters: lucy heartfelia, natsu dragneel, xarana,lexiy,star and amaniz drayer, nkita monos and ???, void, chara, gem, frosghen,

Monos walking through the halls of the house when he walked by a calendar he noticed the words may on the top"hmmm.." He looked down at the marker "oh it may second ehehe my birthday is tomorrow!!" He cheers looking back at the calendar to see may 3 marked in stars handwriting he smiles "she remembered" he smiles looking down to see amaniz and nkita marked in may "oh amanizs birthday is 2 days after…." He looks down remembering his cousin "hmm uncle Monos are you ok?" Amaniz asked "huh yeah just remembering somethings...how about you" he chuckles petting the young girls head "your gonna be 6 in a few days…..well technically 16 you excited?" He smiles as her "yeah I guess so…..do you think moms ok?" She fiddled with her hands "yeah her and void woke up and are safe in the hospital your mom will be discharged tomorrow and void will be discharged 3 days be your birthday" he crouched down to match her hight "...and aunty star" she mumbled " well….. Were not sure yet she hasn't woken up yet but im sure shell be awake in time for nkitas birthday" he smiles standing up "now come on its getting late you have some training to do" he picks up the slightly dozing of girl "hmm"

-the next day-

Amaniz and nkita made their way to the hospital"hmmm.." Amaniz fiddled with her hands "hmm is something wrong?" Nkita asked looking down at his side, she shook her head no before slowly holding his hand "hey un-no big brother do you think uncle void will remember me" she asked softly "yeah im sure he wouldn't stop asking about you" he softly squeezed her hand "ama...i know you were scared...you dint have to act tough anymore... you're not like that dont be like your mother be you..ok?" He asked, hearing sniffling coming from her, he sighed softly picking her up "i-im not a kid" she sniffles. The bluentte shook his head no "but your still a child...you were aged up 10 years so you couldn't naturally change...thus your emotions were increased drastically to where you couldn't even control a small bit so dont worry about it ok?" He softly kisses her temple "hmm thank you big brother" she smiled softly "your welcome" he mumbled as they entered the hospital doors and headed up to the 4 floor

-one elevator ride later- 

"Here room 409" amaniz pointed as she was let down "hmm let's see if they're awake" nkita whispered gently knocking in the door "hello?" The two peaked in seeing lex staring out the window with a blank face void rambling to himself and star still under intensive care " mama!" Amaniz cried running over to lex tightly hugging her, crying into her chest "you're ok..' sniff' and your awake" she cried feeling a pair of arms wrap around her "hey there kiddo" lexiy whispered softly pulling her child into the bed leaning back slightly so they were both comfortable "aww that's so cute" void chuckled as he sat up "so babe what's up with you" void winked at nkita making the blue boy blush "iv told you to stop calling me that" nkita grumbled embarrassed "what oh come on you've gotta be kidding your my catch and im yours end of the discussion" void pouts acting like the little kid he is. Nkita shook his head in disappointment before hearing the room door open again "yo!" He heard the voice of his brother "oh hey Monos ho-" "There's the birthday boy!!" Void interrupted nkita "eh eh thanks dude" "no problem bro" the two laughed. 

Monos looked over to star his eyebrows burrowed seeing the wires and needless in her hurt him "hey there starshine how are you, sweetie?" He gently touched her cheek "I know you can here me and I'll be waiting for you ya know" he blushed slightly when her head tilted onto his hand. He smiled seeing a small smile on her face softly kissing her forehead "best present ever" he smiles "creep" nkita jabbed in "As if you have room to talk" Monos glared at his younger brother" are we getting me out of here or what" lex groaned "mom you still se-" "mom?!! No more mama?" Lexiy teared up "what did you do to my baby girl!" Lexiy cried hugging amaniz tighter crying crocodile tears "u-um I did nothing…" nkita void and Monos sweatdropped "nothing happened mom I just grew out of mama its kinda babyis-" the young wizard was interrupted by her wallowing mother "WHHHAAA" she cried making her daughter laugh at her antics "eh eh there we go..i missed your cute little giggles " lexiy smiled happily crushing her child "ack-..mom….cant….breaaathhh"  the brunette struggled her face slowly turning blue "ahh sorry!!" She let go "what no fair wanna go too" void pouted "sorry but your not quite healed yet for you to be up and drinking" nkita chuckled "fine baby you better bring me back cake" void snuggled into his blanket slowly passing out.

-meanwhile-

Xarna walked down the dark hallways "miss I'll be going now" she bowed "xarna...you remember your mission correct after all you do still want that happily ever after right" she could hear the voice smirk "y-yes I do" she stutters "good 433, gem frosghen go with her and send my happy birthday" the voiced ordered"yes ma'am" the cheery voice of the purple-head cheered "oh god gem stop doing that voice!" The pink frog groaned "oh shut it frosghen!" Gem pouted "we should get moving" 433 suggested as the 4 went on there way.

-scene skip-

"Ughhh can I open my eyes now?!" Monos groaned "nope keep them on bro!" Nkita chuckled as silence took over, only the wheels of the wheelchair could be heard "am I moving to slow mom?" Amaniz asked looking down at her mother as she pushed her around "im quite fine its ok amaniz" lexiy smiled "I hope to god there done by the time we get there" nkita grumbled "it's not to far see its right in front of us" amaniz pointed out "ok cool what is it?" Monos groaned "yoouuuullll see" nkita smirked evilly "creep" "oh shut it!!"

Nkita slowly opened the door and slowly left Monos' side "ehh kiki where are you...dont tell your planning on killing me now" he heard some heald in laughter before taking off his blindfold "SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONOS!" his friends cheered "aww you guys I thought I side no big party" he chuckled "as if we would go small" lucy smiled "now lets party!!!" Natsu cheered "yeah!!!" The guild said in unison,

They all laughed, and yelled and parted into the night

The party was slowly starting to die down. Monos went outside for a little fresh air "ahh man thises guys are the best" he chuckled taking a sip of his drink "are you having fun? Big cousin?" A voice asked him "huh whos there?!" He looked around "aww that's cold" the voice whined he continued to look around the frowned...but soon recognized the voice "no way...how your dead" he muttered softly "well I was...but I have been reborn... I will make you pay for what you and cousin nkita did to me! I thought you loved me!!" The voice cried "we do and we regret what we did but it was the only way to save you im sorry" he teared "if you want I'll make you a new body one so realistic no one's notice!!" He cried "we really miss you" he dried his tears "hmmmm no I already have a new body and they're oh so nice to have me in them I will get my revenge you've earned my mercy for now...but she hasn't she will pay for her sins" the voice grew demonic "but iv seem to overstayed my welcome ill see you both soon the game is on~" the voice faltered. Monis looks down at his drink "I hope to god im just tripping the 500-year war is not something that should happen again...ughhhh there goes my party mood...welp time to get dru-eh" he froze seeing a slightly levied chara " so she wishes to kill me as I did her huh...alright then" "chara please dont the last thing we need is all hell to break loose!" Monos warned her "just a few more people Monos-dear then we'll see the time if fate is nit something I can control….but I can ruin it now go enjoy your birthday" she smirked as she disappeared into snow like dust……."good god I need to get drunk" Monos sighed as he heads back in.

#fairy tail oc's #unikin #unikinc #lucy heartifilla #natsu dragneel #monos #nkita #chara #lexiy drayer #amaniz dreyar #star drayer #xarna drayer #void-senpai #433_7889 #ocs #yes there back

[theolivechickken]

Wie geht's aaaaaaab?

Translation: What’s uuuuuuup?

Jan 12

Oh dear, the days are already zooming and fading away into each other.

Our nature hike was cancelled since there was too much snow. But was perfect for sledding! We hit the hills, tumbled down on our plastic seats, and walked on scenic trails on the Mönschberg.

The afternoon was still young, but the city went to bed a little early. We tried to go down to get sim cards at the store but left too late in the day and missed the bus. We had 2 hours to chill before dinner (and didn’t want to hike back up the mountain just yet), so we crossed the bridge and explored the New Town. Most things were closed since it was Sunday, but I found us cute little hipster coffee house. We all got hot chocolate and had a good time chatting and hanging out on the couches. I think this was my first time waving down the waiter for the check, too. I really like this system of payment and knowing how much you owe (taxes and all included). If something costs 3,50 you can round up to 4 and the rest is considered a tip (or you can ask for the change back).

The clock towers started ringing and we realized we should head to the restaurant that was a 20 minute walk in old town. At Gasthaus Krimpelstätter, we ate plain and simple comfort food: salad, Schnitzel, and french fries :) Back at the Mönschberg, we went down into the dungeon for a Salzy bonding game night.

Jan 13

In the morning, we got the rundown on community service opportunities for the semester and had time to prepare for our first volunteer session at the elementary school. We would be running workshops that allowed youth to practice their English.

In the afternoon, we sat down together in the student room upstairs and brainstormed an outline of cities we’d like to visit this semester. Even if we don’t completely stick to the outline, it’s nice to know that we have places we are interested in traveling to together, and it makes me more excited that this will soon be a reality for us each weekend :)

Later in the evening we had a dinner party at the house. Marcus made traditional sausages and salads for us to try. We were also able to try some grapefruit radlers. Quick historical background: drinking and driving is illegal, and that counts for cyclists too. So the radler was designed so that cyclists could enjoy a drink but would still be legal enough to ride their bikes.

Jan 14

My crusty, tired eyes took some time to open when my alarm went off. I splashed my face with some soap and water and head downstairs to have some bomb ass pancakes with fresh jam and hot tea for breakfast. Climbing 4 sets of stairs gets your heart pumping (and can make you sweaty if you’re wearing too many layers). Katharina walked into the room, plugged in the Aux, and got some bops playing in our classroom. She had us dancing around and stretching, which definitely woke all of us up for our 8:30am class.

I'm actually super excited to be learning German! It's activating the Spanish that's been sitting unused in the back of my head. It’s the weirdest thing ever. Every time I hear questions in German, I want to reply in Spanish. I’m honestly surprised by how much Spanish I actually know and remember. I almost feel like once you learn an additional language (other than your first language), it can be easier to pick up new languages.

Lowkey forgot that studying is part of studying abroad. I’m mentally here for the abroad part. But I’m also taking a handful of classes split up by different professors so it feels like 6-8 classes but it’s just 4??

German 101

Intro to German taught by Katharina

Austria in Europe: History, Identity, and Remembrance

Part 1 taught by Sara

We have to keep a tagebuch and write several entries within each week as well as maintain a literary journal where we answer prompts inspired by one of our books

Part 2 taught by Wolfgang

Studying and analyzing Austrian and European history to understand the identities and cultures formed within society, and also exploring Austria’s role in the two world wars

Sights and Sounds of Salzburg: An Interdisciplinary Window on European Culture

Sights taught by Elisabeth and Sounds taught by Betty

In the classroom, we will be studying Western European art, architecture, and music in different styles and time periods. Outside the classroom, we attend museums, architectural sites, and concerts.

And our final mystery class will begin sometime towards the middle of the semester. It was originally going to be taught by Kathleen Feely (one of the History professors from the University of Redlands) but she wasn’t able to attend last minute. So I believe we will have two visiting professors from the Salzburg area (or maybe one is joining us from the US for two weeks) and they will be focusing on Austrian (and/or German) film and social justice within Austria.

After classes, we had an Asian fusion stir fry/ chow mein dish for lunch. It even had a little kick to the flavor too  (okay Marcus I see youuuu - and also hear all your little hums and random songs and noises in the kitchen)!

DOWN TIIIIME - will it ever exist other than today?? We all gathered in the Winter Garden to watch Deadpool. I joined everyone on the couches but focused on starting my journal entries since we have to get 20 down each week.

Raine and I were also responsible for making brownies for one of our community service organizations (Caritas). I am the girl who burned water twice when trying to make mac and cheese, and nearly forgot to add the third ingredient to a 3 ingredient boxed brownie recipe. Cooking and baking stresses me out. At least I learned from previous mistakes and now know what not to do! And this was just another round of boxed brownies where you just add ingredients. Easy peasy, right?

Welp the directions were in German and the stove was foreign. We had no idea what setting to put the oven on so that it would warm up and bake the goods. I ended up watching 3 YouTube videos on German ovens and their settings so that I would understand de ways.

Luckily, we figured it out, shoved them in the oven and left them there for 40 minutes to bake. We came back just in time for them to be done and the kitchen smelled delightful. I mean, one of the corners was slightly crispier than the others, so we cracked a few windows open so the smokey smell wouldn’t set off the overly-sensitive fire alarm. But I would call it an overall success.

We got ready to head down into the city and Patrick forgot to set an alarm to wake up so we were a little late to dinner. We went to a pizza shop (Il Sole) and I had salami pizza. They also brought out little glasses of neopolitan ice cream for dessert. I feel like all I write about is food. But what can I say, I'm a fan of eating. Terrified of cooking but I'm down to try any dish.

#Studying Abroad #Salzburg #Salzburg Semester

[twobillionseconds]

April 8th - 12th 2022

I know multi-day posts, but man it was a busy past several days. Anyway here we go.

April 8th:

So the movers came back to pack the rest of the stuff. They wrapped up packing by 1:00 PM. Shortly after one of my friends came by with some sandwiches from a deli. It was a delicious. We just caught up and said our good byes. He also brought by a bottle of Pliny the Younger as a parting gift. 

After we hung around the house for a bit. My wife and I went to our favorite restaurant in Pacifica for the last time. It was a perfect dinner. We went home after dinner and enjoyed the Pliny and went to bed. I was prepping for my epic ride.

April 9th:

Ok. Woke up around 6:15 AM. I didn’t want to ride. I was fighting everything in me to ride. I eventually got to ride around 7:00 AM. This was part 1 of 2 to ride from Daly City to Cambria. I strategized to take more breaks and made sure I fueled up properly. I was on a good stroll and then 2 miles north of Santa Cruz my tire blew out. I had to quickly change my tube. I had such a hard time. Fortunately a friendly biker saw me struggling and helped me out. He even rode with me into town to make sure I was ok. 

I got into town and got some supplies and met a friend from work for lunch. After that my wife met me and restocked me and I stopped by a bike shop to fix the flat. After I was on my way to Monterey. This part of the ride wasn’t enjoyable. Not only was it not as scenic, but I got lost and I was tired. Fortunately I made it to Monterey in time. 

The wife and I got dinner at the hotel and we met with some other friends from work for final drinks and good byes. I had to go to bed early to prep for part 2 of 2. 

April 10th:

I decided to leave a hour later so around 8:00 AM. I wanted to get a bit more rest and it was also a shorter ride. So I got going. Immediately it was incline after incline. Fortunately all the roads were open to Cambria.

This was the most difficult ride ever. There was so much climbing. But it was so beautiful. 

The hardest point was toward the end near Ragged Point. First off there was no cell service and second you are just climbing and climbing. It was mentally and physically draining. Thankfully the last 23 some odd miles were descents and flats. It was so beautiful.

After that the wife and I went to a restaurant in Cambria and watched some shows and went to bed.

April 11th:

Decided to sleep in a bit. In the morning we took the dog for a walk. We hung around Cambria a little bit, but decided to head south sooner. We stopped by a place to grab food and I did a quick ride from Carpinteria to Ventura. Then we headed to my parents place for dinner. We caught up and chatted. We decided to head to SD because the movers were supposedly able to come at 8 AM. 

We got in around 10 and set up a temporary bed. We have a long day of unpacking.

April 12th:

Got up early and took the dog for a walk to get some coffee. Shortly after the movers came. They unpacked everything and they were done by 2:00 PM. Afterwards we got some lunch and came back. We started unpacking the kitchen. After the unpacking we decided to take a break and meet couple friends that lived here. It was great seeing them in person. 

Welp that’s all I have for the past few days of not journaling. Hopefully I can be more consistent. 

[justoneday-namjoonii]

It burns, doesn’t it? [Pt.12]

Genre/au: Mafia!au, Mature, Fluff, Angst. Violence and all that good mafia stuff. Warning: Depictions of graphic torture and brief/mentioned sexual assault. This story contains graphic imagery, mental health problems, mature subject matter, improper drug usage, suggestive language, self-medication, crude/unnerving behavior, toxic coping, intensity, bloodshed. If you’re easily triggered, please proceed with caution or don’t proceed.

  Members: Jungkook x Yoongi x Namjoon x Jin x Hoseok x Jimin x Taehyung  Feat. Got7

Summary: Why am I hurting alone? Why am I in love alone?

A/n: wow I literally have never written over 20k words in a chap before, I have no idea how this happened welp this is a lil early Christmas present, enjoy~♥️

| Prologue | Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 | Pt. 4 | Pt. 5 | Pt. 6 | Pt. 7 | Pt. 8 | Pt. 9 | Pt. 10 | Pt. 11 | P. 12 | Pt. 13 | Pt. 14 | Pt. 15 |

A good nights sleep is a mere thought for him.

It was 5 am when he woke up. At this point, he was convinced that not even the strongest narcotic could keep him unconscious for more than 3 hours. There was no sense in laying here, he figured he might as well get a head start on the day

“Ugh...” He threw his legs over the edge of the bed and sluggishly drug his hands down his face. His gaze fell to the nightstand, his handgun wasn’t there. He must’ve left it in his office, seeing him without that gun was like seeing a naked soldier—it never happened. He groaned, dragging his hands down his slightly puffy face as he arose from the bed. He missed a call from Seo for the third time, the confrontation was a pain in the back. Being the person he is with the intuition he has, of course, he had a clue on what he might want to talk about. The explosion that happened in broad daylight. The conflict between him and Namjoon was definitely out of hand. They’ve gotten to the point where it’s affecting other people. Since the mayhem that’s broken out with Jin, Namjoon, Jungkook, and you—there wasn’t much he wanted to tell the man. 

He peeled himself out of bed and walked into the poorly lit bathroom. He bent over the sink and splashed cool water on his face, blinking rapidly to clear up his sleepy vision. His hand rubbed around his neck and chin and he frowned at the feeling of prickly patches of hair—he hated stubble, it made him cringe. So, it’s either shave or go the whole day fumbling with stray hairs on his face—shave it is.  

He dug through the cabinets, searching for the can of shaving cream and razor, for the life of him he could never find them when he needed them. Naturally, he wasn’t that hairy and since he doesn’t grow facial hair that fast, so a razor and Yoongi have very few encounters. When he found the can he applied it to the necessary areas and grabbed the new disposable razor in his drawer, he leaned in to look in the mirror better before gliding the blade across his skin—a few good passes and he was finished. After rinsing his face he applied a mildly scented aftershave he went to his room to find something to wear, he skimmed through his options in the closet but settled for the first pair of pants and shirt he laid eyes on. He stripped down and pulled on his clothes. He fluffed through his hair, straightened his shirt and sighed. How was he already tired from just those little tasks? 

Just as he was about to leave the mirror he caught a glimpse of himself—he was never one to spend a lot of time in the mirror. Unless he had to shave, fix his hair or something like that, he never really took time to notice his face. His face was the one thing that forbids him to ever forget that man. As much as he wished he could erase him from his memory he couldn’t escape the constant reminder of his face. It was no doubt that he favored his mother, he had her soft face shape and smile. But at the end of the day, he is fathers son and his face was the dead give away.

This face reminded him of where he came from and who he really is.

“Come here, Yoongi.” That thundering voice had never changed it’s pitch or depth. “I have something to show you.”

He knew better than to leave his hotheaded father waiting and so he arrived in the old mans presence, the old man who looked just like him. “What is it.”

“You see this son? This is the first gun I ever used and the first gun I ever killed a man with, there's a lot of memories and lives on this beauty.” He held the firearm with awe, admiring the piece of metal that sat in his hand like artwork. He’d come to appear soulless, seemingly unfazed and uninterested despite how he may feel.

“Okay.” Yoongi grew impatient, unsure of why he was explaining all of this to him, the very first gun he used to kill a man with didn’t mean anything to him.

“I want you to have it.”

The gun was light in his hands, too light. Weightless. To wield something so powerful, an object with the ability to take a life, it should’ve felt heavy, with the weight of stolen souls and silenced cries. He wondered why it felt like second nature to hold it, how could anyone become so familiar with a gun? His father was like that. He was precise, cunning, devious; those qualities were Yoongi’s downfall. First, it was the gun but that wasn’t all. That was just the beginning of his ultimate plan, his goal was to make Yoongi into his prodigy, and that he did, but not without repercussion and consequences. Those repercussions and consequences being his first and only son, Yoongi.

Min Yoongi. That name flowed all too well when it rolled off of his father's tongue. He spoke as if he were calling a servant or slave, it annoyed him to no end. Yoongi knew his mother named him, the old man would complain about it endlessly. Even when Yoongi was young he’d say she was, in his exact words, a ‘selfish bitch’ for not discussing the name with him, but it was his fault. She had to give him a name herself because the father wasn’t there during the birth. When he was born, it was just her and her baby, and if she had to do it again she’d do it the same way, alone; without the man who made shambles of her life. That’s how much she couldn’t stand that man. 

When she brought Yoongi home, she had to do it by herself. Yoongi hated him most for that, for making her life so hard. He treated her terribly, he used to beat and degrade her like she was nothing. And in the beginning, she was merely one of the many women he slept with. Sadly, she was the only one who ended up pregnant and married to him—her biggest mistake. There was a time in his life when he wished he was never born by her. That thought was never anything against his mother—he loves her. But if he was never born she wouldn’t have had to go through what she went through.

Yoongi swore on his life that once she was away from him, that man would never be able to touch her again. He’s kept that promise for all these years, and not once has he come close to breaking it.

He walked out of his bedroom—it was highly secluded from the rest of the base but closes to his office. He arranged to be out today but he had a few things to take care of before that. When he sat back in the leather chair, he could hear some of the runners piddling around. He tapped his finger on the desk and took a deep breath, today was gonna be very interesting. There was one person he’s been dying to hear from and he took it upon himself to give that person a call. He picked up his cell and dialed the number, it rung for not even a second before the other line picked up.

“Hello?”

Silence, Hoseok knew all too well what that meant, Yoongi was frustrated. He sighed. 

“Hyung...I was gonna call you but-...looks like you beat me to it.” He laughed a little, hoping to loosen the tension through the phone.

Yoongi wasn’t in the mood. “I expect you, of all people, to communicate with me but I can’t even depend on that.” Impatience is evident in his icy tone. “Where the hell are you?”

“I’m at Hakyeon’s old shipment pick up, some of our suppliers haven’t gotten the word of all that’s happened yet, I thought I’d take any deliveries back to the base or back to my place. I meant to tell you but you know how things are right now, I’ve gotta take care of my own, at least what’s left of it.” 

“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying your alone time but I need you back here with details about Hakyeons exchange between anyone within the last month, by tonight. I’m so fucking sick and tired of people forgetting that I’m the fucking boss.” He doesn’t normally snap like that so Hoseok a little surprise at the outburst. 

“Listen, if anyone will stand by my side, I know it’s you Hoseok, you’re loyal. It seems like everyone else is straddling the fence but you. So, I’m gonna ask you something that I think only you can answer truthfully.”

“Okay?” Hoseok questioned over the phone, anxious to know what the question was.

“Did Jungkook kill Hakyeon?”

He had to think about that answer, Jungkook said he didn’t and he believed him but he can’t just start declaring facts. “No, I don’t think he did. We’ve known Jungkook since he was a kid and I don’t think we should jump to conclusions about this, despite the evidence...”

“Do you have evidence?”

“Well- uh...” He had to bite his tongue before he blurted out that Jungkook had met with him.

“I can’t be positive, sorry. But if I were you I’d ask the person closest to him in the last few months. Jungkook’s surprisingly shares more with people than we’d think.” Yoongi could here other people in the background and the opening and closing of doors. 

His forehead wrinkled at the implication. “You mean, the girl...”

“Bingo. I think anything you want to know about him, you’ll find through her.” Hoseok felt like that was a sufficing answer when he heard Yoongi’s hum of approval.

“That’s another task on my to-do-list..”

A few moments of silence went by before Hoseok asked the question Yoongi probably hadn’t been asked in weeks, maybe even months.

“How are you doing? I’m pretty sure you haven’t had a moment to breathe. How many packs have you gone through?” Hoseok, always checking on his stressed Hyung. Yoongi had to smile, there’s been too much going on for him to breathe for himself. Staying alive for Jin, Jimin, Hosek, this organization, and you now.

“I’ve had one. After my second pack of Dunhill, I realized that the tobacco wasn’t doing shit...But a cigarette is better than ripping my fucking hair out. I have to meet with Seo so I need to coordinate that. I also need Jin to stop calling shots without consulting with me, he keeps fucking with my patience....”

“It should have never happened in the first place. You know I never said anything because I trust you, wherever you go I will follow, it’s always been like that and it always will be. But Jin is a different story. He plays you and you dismiss it every time, he thinks he’s the boss here. And that Wei guy? I wouldn’t put anything past him at all, I found him snooping in my office one day. I told you when you first recruited him, I didn’t like him.” 

It was brought to Yoongi’s attention that he’s the one who let Wei work under him. Hoseok groaned lowly, not wanting to go into detail about his suspicions, he still had a job to do. “I gotta get back to work, I’ll see you later.”

I was sixteen when we got the call that he was killed in battle. Mom took it hard but she didn’t show it, she told me that dad was a good man and that it was okay, I didn’t need to cry. The sad part is, I didn’t feel the urge to. He was in and out of my life, never really showing me what a healthy and consistent household was; as long as I have my mom, I’m okay. The funeral was good closure for her, Junghyun was there though. They thought he should be the one to speak on the families behalf, he was always dads favorite. Junghyun was talking to her and asked her if I was giving her a hard time, I only told him to fuck off and stop talking to her. That started quite the conflict at the dinner.

“I’m home.” He walked in the back door, his bag heavy on his shoulders and his leather boots being the only audible sound. He assumed she was either at work or she just didn’t hear him come in. He went to the fridge, opening it up to see the usual groceries, eggs, milk, bread, other stuff. There was one bottle of banana milk next to the eggs, he settled for that. 

It was odd, there was no food on the stove and she hadn’t called for me to pick up any food. He guessed in her defense, he came home a lot later than normal. “Mom?” He made swift strides up the stairs, speaking softly with the intent not to startle her.

“Yes, I know.”

She was in her bedroom, folding laundry as she had the phone between her shoulder and ear—his curiosity got the best of him. He waited outside the door, trying to listen in on the conversation without being noticed.

“Money isn’t what I’m worried about right now. His parents paid for the funeral, so the money is there.” She was talking to her older sister, that woman was always sticking her nose in someone else’s business. “Junghyun? Well, yes he offered but I told him it wasn’t a good idea. He and Jungkook don’t get along that well, I wouldn’t want to make him live there with him, he’s 9 years older than Jungkook, he lives a different life…”

He frowned, thinking of the things his nosy Aunt was probably thinking about his mother. Why would she have two sons but give the oldest to her in-laws and keep the younger one? For one, Junghyun was born out of wedlock. They had to let him live with his grandparents when he turned 6, financially they just couldn’t take care of him. When he finally found a job they had to relocate him, three years later she had Jungkook.

“No, I haven’t talked to them yet but-” He could hear bickering on the other end of the phone, that woman never really knew when to shut up about subjects that don’t concern her. “Look, Jungkook is my son and Junghyun is too. I choose what I want to tell them. Goodnight.” She dropped the phone on her bed, her brows furrowing in thought or frustration, probably both.

He naturally walked in, as if he had just arrived. She smiled when she saw him. 

“Jungkook? Hi sweetheart, how was school?” He had the cutest face to her, even now. 

“Fine…” He groaned. “How was your day at work? Is your boss screwing with you again?” He quickly pecked her cheek before lying on her king sized bed like he’s done ever since he was a kid.

“No, work is fine…” She sighed, Jungkook glanced at her to see her expression and attitude turned solemn all of a sudden. She wasn’t just doing any kind of laundry, she was packing up her husband's old clothes, to presumably give them away. “I used to hate this orange and yellow tie, but your father insisted on wearing it on our wedding day, he said it brought good luck..” She laughed sadly, just trying to lighten her mood a bit. “Thank God you inherited my sense of color coordination, huh?”

“Yeah…” He ran his hand through his dark brown locks and sighed. “Have you eaten dinner? I didn’t see anything cooking and you didn’t ask me to pick anything up, so…” He trailed off, massaging the back of his neck before getting up to stretch his tense muscles.

“Oh, Kookie I completely forgot! I’m sorry, I’ll throw something together-”

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll order take out.” He said casually, they didn’t do take-out too often but often enough to have them on speed dial. 

I went downstairs, called the usual Chinese take-out place and put in an order. That would take about twenty minutes, that leaves enough time for him to shower.

“Thank you.” She took the bag of food from the kid at the door. “You have a good night.”

“You too Mrs. Jeon.” And the usual scrawny kid with thick-framed glasses left.

“What’d you order Jungkook? I smell something different.” She sniffed the bag, bringing it to the center table in the living room.

“I ordered a different chicken, it’s spicy.” I moved my feet from the table and gave up on trying to find an interesting show, the cooking show will have to do for now. We set up the plates and I began shoveling rice, meat, and vegetables onto my plate. She furrowed her brows, scrutinizing my every move, her arms crossed, something was up.

“What? Why’re you staring at me like that?”

“Why are your knuckles bruised Jungkook?... And don’t you think about lying to me.” She could see right through me sometimes, it was scary how well she could sense when I bent the truth and tried to hide something.

“It’s nothing…”

“Were you seriously fighting again? Or were you hanging out with those guys that are well over 2-3 years older than you?” He froze, all he could think was how did she know. “You think I don’t get suspicious when you’re coming home late and I see bruises all over you? What the hell do you think you’re doing Jungkook?” She smacked the back of his head, earning a pained whine from him. “Huh?”

He rubbed his head lightly. “Look, it’s nothing okay? I just get pissed when anyone says shit about us that they don’t even know shit about. Some bastard said something and I couldn’t let him get away with it. All I did was punch him a few times, then Namjoon Hyung pulled me off of him. Sorry…” He sighed, flashing her those pearly doe eyes that he knew she always fell victim to.

“How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t let your anger get the best of you, you can’t show them it hurts sweetheart, that’s the only way you’ll make it in life…I’ve learned that the hard way, I don’t want you to.” She pets his head lovingly. “And stop cursing, I didn’t raise you to talk like that.”

He pushed the piece of broccoli around with his fork. “I heard you on the phone earlier…” She side-eyed him, already getting upset that he was listening in on her conversation. “Why were you talking about Junghyun? And what were you going to wait to tell us?”

“You were eavesdropping?” He couldn’t do anything but nod. “Jungkook, that was a private conversation…”

“Yeah, but since it’s just us, and I don’t like secrets to be kept from me so I’ll find out anyway, why don’t you just tell me?” He sat up, putting his food on the back burner of the conversation, he was more focused on other things now.

“I had a doctors appointment a few days ago while you were at your friends' house. You know I don’t take medication but I had to get some of the body pains and fatigue.” She sighed. “I know I’m Anemic and I have a few other health issues but that’s not stopping me, that military check isn’t going to support us forever and I’m not leaving you to pay for anything on your own. The doctors think there’s too much physical labor and my sister thinks I should have you live with your brother so I can take care of myself. You don’t get along with your brother and while he’s in med school I don’t want to create any more stress in his life. I’m a little worn out but don’t worry about it, I’m okay.” 

We didn’t talk more about it, we ate dinner in front of the TV like we do every Friday night—that was the moment he made the life-changing decision to protect and care for her like no one else. 

You reminded him so much of her.

“Mr. Jeon?” 

That same nurse from yesterday walked in with some other girl. “I’ve been made aware of your situation so unfortunately you’re not allowed on the terrace to get some fresh air, but I’ll open up the blinds for you. You’ll have some nice sunlight. I also brought you some breakfast.” She walked over to the window and Jungkooks eyes followed her, the nurse assistant held a tray for breakfast and she looked frozen, just staring at him.

“I’m not hungry.” He half lied, looking off and changing his expression in a way that his light dimples showed briefly. They interrupted him during his daydream for some plain tasteless hospital food, he’s chained up and they’re trying to feed him like an animal. Nope, that’s not happening.

“Sir, are you sure? You haven’t eaten since you got here.” The CNA commented, just trying to do her job and help her patient. “It’s actually very good.” She sat the tray in arms reach for him but he barely acknowledged it.

“I’m sure it is, but food doesn’t taste so good when you're chained to a bed...” He didn’t mean to sound so snarky but he didn’t want to see another person taking care of him that wasn’t you. He was like that even when he was young.

“Okay then...I’m gonna leave the food here, just in case you change your mind.” She cowered away from him and decided to leave the room to save her the backlash of his attitude. The nurse practitioner stayed though, making him frown. 

“Dr. Jeon has asked to speak with you before you have a word with the police and your lawyer.” She informed him.

“Tell him I don’t want to talk.” Just as he said that Junghyun cracked the door, smiling with a bag in his hand.

“Good morning little brother.” He walked in, greeting the nurse with a sweet smile. “Good morning Sue.” He walked over to place the bag on the coffee table.

“Morning Dr, I’ll give you two some privacy.” She finally left but he was starting to wish she was in here and not him.

“As a patient, don’t I have the right to refuse visitors? Why are you here?” Jungkook pulled at his handcuffs in frustration, wondering why Junghyun was even allowed in here. 

“Not from your doctor.” He grinned.

Jungkook furrowed his brows. “So you’re my doctor now, what happened to that other guy?” 

“Don’t worry about that. I’m sure you’re aware of the charges they want to file against you. You had a gun in the car, they’ve been trying to research you and they couldn’t find much, aside from the fact that you have some relation with some Gang or Mafia...” Jungkook didn’t respond, he just looked away, actually giving Junghyun room to speak for once.

“So it’s true? I see...” Junghyun rubbed his chin in thought. “Didn’t you arrive here with someone? Where were you coming from? Who were you with?” He was eager to know how Jungkook cane to this predicament.

“What're you the fucking FBI? I’m not telling you anything, especially not about her.” Jungkook insisted on resisting no matter what. “And aren’t I entitled to a phone call or something?” He groaned.

“Jungkook, you need to calm down and cooperate with me. I’m trying to get you out of this clean, I even arranged for you to get one of the best lawyers in this city.”

“You what?”

“They might take you to court, you’ll need a good lawyer.”

“I didn’t ask you to do any of this.”

“I know, take it as a favor from your big brother.” 

“You’re talking out of your ass.” He scoffed. “I don’t know what makes you think I want your help, or need it.” 

“I’m just trying to do you a favor Jungkook, you’re my little brother...” He sighed, finally revealing the truth behind his sudden arrival and concern for Jungkook.

“That’s what this is about? You feel guilty and want to take care of your little brother now? After all, you did? And in case you haven’t fucking noticed I’m not so little anymore. I didn’t like you when I met you and I don’t like you now.” Jungkook was making this situation harder but Junghyun was well prepared.

“You’re still stuck in the past...Okay, I’ll leave.” Surprisingly, he got up and walked towards the door, leaving Jungkook in there with the sound of the heavy hospital door shutting. That was unexpected, but Junghyun needed Jungkook to calm down, in more ways than one.

“We need to come and talk to the patient-” The police tried to open the door and Junghyun stopped him.

He stood up straight. “My patient is in no condition to be interrogated right now.”

“Your so-called patient is a potential felon and needs to be questioned, Dr. with all due respect, step aside.” The police’s expression changed to a serious one. “Listen he may be your patient but he’s also on his way to jail-”

“You can’t take a corpse to jail, can you?” Junghyun shot back, causing the officer to rethink his tactics. 

“Exactly, so leave him alone to recover and you might be able to talk to him tomorrow.” Junghyun walked on his way, now reassured that no one would bother Jungkook until tomorrow, they couldn’t bother him if he was knocked out. The glass of water that came with his breakfast had a sedative that Junghyun had prepared before the nurse assistant took it in there, that should buy him some time.

Namjoon had been numbering weapon orders and storing them away. After what happened he made it a point to overstock the safe house with as many weapons as possible, the salvaged material was still coming in from the base. Taehyung was nowhere to be seen, they assumed he would call or try to contact someone but he didn’t. They don’t know where he is.

“So,” She poured a second cup of coffee, setting it on the table, “what do you want? I haven’t seen you since the funeral...” She was on her way out of the convenience store break room, she did the night shift and the last thing she wants to do is talk to the brother of her dead best friend. She was shocked when she saw the tall, dark and handsome fella lock the door presumably so no one would come in. Taehyung had tracked her down, in hopes that she would have a short conversation with him, not like he’d give her a choice. “I haven’t had contact with any of you and I wanted to keep it that way. I do have a life...”

“I found out Jin has a little sister apparently. Yoongi found her and gave her to Namjoon...Everything went downhill from there. I wanted someone to talk to...” He deadpanned, staring down at the dark liquid in the cheap styrofoam cup.

“Okay, and?” She sat down, hugging her dark gray sweater to herself. “Get to the point kid...”

“Why did she have to die...” He blurted out suddenly. His gaze drifted up to hers. “Do you think she blames me? For not doing more...”

She choked back the urge to cry or punch him, she felt like doing a little of both. She’s tried all these years to forget what had happened. It was a Thursday night when she saw that her best friend was shot and killed. Just hours before that she said she would go in with Namjoon on one of his missions—he told her it was dangerous. That night she lost a brother, a best friend and she decided she couldn’t bear that lifestyle. Watching friends and family die, for drugs, money, and power—that’s not what she signed up for. So, the day after the funeral she cut ties with everyone and she was free. Alone but free.

“Don’t ask me that.” She hissed, glaring at Tae and he almost shied away at that. “After all these years you want me to tell you if she blames you? Get real Taehyung, how the hell would I know? I've not involved in that life anymore and I don’t want to be dragged back in it by the likes of you.” She shook her head in disbelief, how could he show his face around her? After all he’s done. 

“You’re screwed in the head Tae, ever since she died, you changed..Think about it, my brother didn’t care about her, he doesn’t care about me, and he doesn’t care about anything that doesn’t get him something in return. That’s why he keeps you around, you lessen his guilty conscious...” She stood up, putting her bag back on her shoulder—she couldn’t get sucked back into this, not with all the work it took to get away from it.

He grabbed her arm, causing her to jerk away. “Geongmin, please-”

“Open your eyes, damn it!” She screamed in his face, leaving him frozen in his place. Before she knew it, her hand flew across his cheek, leaving a bright red mark in its wake. “You could’ve told her to stay out of it but you didn’t! It’s your fucking fault!” She lashed out, her chest heaving in anger. 

“She was killed Taehyung, and yes, I blame you, I blame myself and I blame Namjoon. She liked him and I told her that he was nothing but trouble, she didn’t listen. Do you know how much she cared about you?... More than you deserve.” 

He felt his heart pounding against his chest at her angry words towards him and her brother. Geongmin has always felt this way, Tae was just as guilty as Namjoon for her best friends death.

“I chose to forget the past and move the fuck on, you should do the same.” She walked towards the door, her hand fumbling to unlock it. He just sat there, what was he supposed to say? He started to wonder why he even came here.

“Just wait, please...” He called out and before she knew it, he was right behind her. She didn’t say anything, he just slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, resting his head on the side of her head. She stood there, her first instinct was to shove him off of her, the brother of her best friend follows the man who let her die. His body engulfed her own, his chest rising and falling against her back—he was crying. Tears streamed from his baby soft cheeks and he clenched his teeth in order to choke back any audible cries.

“Taehyung,” She sighed, grabbing his large hands and prying his slender fingers off of her, “you’re a sinner...Don’t come and repent to me. Why don’t you go crawl back to the man who caused this, like you’ve always done.” 

She turned around, seeing his slightly pinkish eyes, his expression favoring one that would be natural to pity, but she couldn’t muster up any sympathy. A low muffle could be heard in the silent room, was he laughing? She treated him terribly, yet, he laughed, literally he was in between tears and laughter. Geongmin slowly turned around, there was a look of mild disgust on her face—he really was screwed up. 

“You’re crazy...” She looked around with an impatient expression, trying to distract herself from the way his eyes darkened, giving her unnerving chills. She abruptly grabbed the doorknob to get away but he quickly ceased hold of her neck. “What’re you?-...” He cut her breathing short and she gasped. “Ah- T-Tae stop it-...” She coughed.

He smiled. 

“Oh, Geongmin...” He brought his mouth to her ear and whispered, “Calm down, breathe-” He paused to giggle at this irony. “I guess you can’t really do that, can you?” He tightened his grip on her delicate muscle as her tiny hands were weakly trying to pry him off of her throat. 

It was funny how contrasting she was to her brother, she was petite with small hands, feet and everything else. Namjoon was tall, lean and towered in comparison to her. He shook his head, feeling almost sorry for the girl but also not at all, he actually found this disturbingly entertaining. She had no idea the number of times he’s done this, resistance was very much futile.

“What makes you think that her death hurt you more than me, she was my sister...losing her was like losing everything, I had no will to live...Yet, here I am.” He growled that last bit. “I thought maybe you’d understand but you’re still angry and...Ah,” He made a small sound of surprise. She thrashed a bit, her efforts only urging him to cut off other air supply completely, his eyes lit up in wonder when she shuttered. 

”Your face is turning red,” He chuckled, “do you think if I squeeze hard enough, you’ll pop?” He brushed her hair from her eyes with his free hand. “I should try. Someone with a temper like yours should learn their lesson...”

Tears built out her eyes and she struggled to speak. “Y-you're h-...hur—ting, m- m-” 

“Am I?” He released her and she inhaled sharply before collapsing to her knees, coughing violently. 

She rubbed her neck to soothe the burn and she glared at him, and he crouched over her. “I heard what you had become but I didn’t believe it at first. Now, I know it’s true, you’re sick...Rose would be so disappointed in you...” 

Rose.

She had to say it. Rose was her nickname from most of her friends because she insisted on watching the Titanic at least once every other weekend, hence the nickname, Rose.

Geongmin stood to her feet, gathering her bearings from her light-headedness. 

He said nothing. A name he’s tried to forget had been throw in his face, he hadn’t heard that name uttered from Jungkook’s mouth in years.

“I’ve gotta go...don’t try contacting me again or I will call the police.” She opened the door and looked back at Tae before leaving him. When she went to the back of the convenience store and got into her car she finally realized why she left them in the first place—they were all screwed up.

Yoongi sat outside on the curb of the back of the building, a bottle in his hands—he was actually drinking water today. He finished it and made his way back inside. He walked in and saw Jimin coming back from somewhere, he decided now would be the best time to talk to him, he walked up to him.

“Oh, hey hyung- wait where are we going?-...” Yoongi grabbed his upper arm and dragged him off to a secluded area.

“Why did you do it?” That was abrupt and Jimin furrowed his brows, what was he talking about?

“What?” He was baffled, he wasn’t sure what he was asking,

“You saw her when she ran away. Why were you seeing her behind my back?” 

“Um,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “I wasn’t seeing her behind your back...The first time I was -”

“The first time?” Yoongi cut him off. “It happened more than once?” 

“Well, yes...” He swallowed. “Jungkook brought her out, I got curious, I wanted to make sure she was okay. No one else was going to see if she was alive and I just wanted to make sure she was. The next time I saw her is the time she ran away, that time was sheer coincidence, I was passing by and she was in some cafe...” 

He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to recall all the times he met with you. “She begged me to take her with me because she knew Jin would be here, and I really wanted to but I knew you wouldn’t approve and that would only cause more problems. I thought we were supposed to monitor Jungkook after what happened with Hakyeon, that was the plan...” Jimin looked for Yoongi to respond, but he was only met with an emotionless expression.

Yoongi’s squinted slightly in thought, why was he just now hearing about this? This was crucial to the current situation. Jungkook could have seen Jimin and told someone or that he sent him, that among other things. He really needed to enforce his leader right now—too much has gone on without his awareness, it was starting to piss him off.

“Who's plan?” 

“Your’s-”

“No, not mine. I never told you to monitor Jungkook. Who did you get these orders from?” He questioned, knowing Jimin would be insane to lie to him right now.

“Hyung, I think-” Yoongi cut him off.

“Tell me,” He hissed.

“Jin...” He cleared his throat out of discomfort. “He asked me to keep an eye on them, I thought you knew. She’s his sister, hyung, I had to help him out.” He ran his hand through his fluffy blonde hair and looked at him to say something.

Yoongi is done—not only did Jin order Jimin to get you and Jungkook while he met with Namjoon, but he’s been giving Jimin and other people orders behind his back. 

The bed was so cold and uncomfortable, especially without Jungkook by your side. You settled for throwing a blanket on the floor and sleeping there. When you arose from your choppy slumber, the second blanket still covered your legs and torso—you probably slept like a log to still have covers on you but now your back was killing you, maybe the floor wasn’t such a good idea. You groaned in pain when you stood to your feet. The unforgiving hard surface tore up your posture. You came to the realization that your ankle was still very sore, among other pains you were enduring. 

“Huh...” You tried to scurry over to the bathroom, the task of walking that distance proved to be harder than you anticipated. You were a bit dizzy, probably from lying around and not eating well but you couldn’t let that stop you. Today you were determined to look for an escape, that meant you had to keep your energy up.

The bathroom looked very clean, you’re probably one of the only people to stay in here. When you stripped down, you reached to turn on the shower head, waiting for the water to get warm. You stepped into the shower and let the warm water soothe your sore and tender muscles. The water streamed down your face, on to your chest, and down the drain. For a moment you wished you could stay like this forever. Just drowning your troubles in the water. It made you think, Jungkook used to try to shower with you all the time, he even begged sometimes, saying that all you two would be doing was getting clean. 

Knowing him, that’s not all that would be happening, he was the mischievous type. And even if you were just bathing, you were way too shy to do that. But today would’ve been his lucky day, you’d say yes in a heartbeat. Anything to have him near you again, you wouldn’t hesitate to do it. Before you were separated from him, he told you that he wanted to be with you forever, that he would die if he couldn’t have you. Loving you had filled an empty space in his heart...You felt the same way.

You shook yourself from those thoughts and deemed that an hour of running water was enough to wrinkle your fingers. You turned it off and quickly grabbed your towel. All morning you heard people walking around and talking, you assumed it must always be like that. It kind of reminded you of Namjoons base but less high energy; it was ten times calmer here. 

Water droplets fell to the floor as you walked over to the drawers, digging through to find a sweater. You found one that was a bit oversized but it was fine with the jeans you slipped on.

You weren’t gonna sit around and sulk in your room if Jungkook was in your position he wouldn’t be waiting around. There wasn’t much you could do though, besides try to run away and that really wasn’t an option right now. You were limping slightly so anyone could tell you weren’t one hundred percent healthy and healed. When you walked out of the room you realized just how big this place was, you weren’t even sure where to go. Your curiosity got the best of you, 

“So that girl is his sister? They don’t look alike.” The girl commented.

“Yeah, I know, they’re half-siblings.”

“He told you that?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You two seem close...” She mumbled.

Their conversation went on but you had already lost interest. You found a sort of freedom now, Jimin wasn’t babysitting you, Jin wasn’t on was nowhere to be seen, it kind of unnerved you. Maybe they did this on purpose, maybe it was a trap. They probably made you feel like you had some freedom to see what you’d do. If so, that’s cheap. When you walked past a tall, intimidating looking guy, you realized you weren’t at Namjoons base. It really hit you. 

As much as you were glad to be away from that hell, that hell also had Jungkook in it, that’s what made it somewhat bearable. 

The people here didn’t have the same energy as what you were used to. Whores weren’t eyeing you like vultures, just waiting for a chance to rip you up limb by limb. They aren’t like that here, they really just ignored you, and so did the guys' everyone seemed to keep to themselves, or they were just gossiping behind each other’s backs. Yoongi was to blame for that. He’s never liked it when his men got too rowdy, especially during the day; it gave him, how do you say? A headache? Luckily, a majority of the time he was either in his office or out, so his people knew when to turn it on or off. When Namjoon and Yoongi once worked together, Yoongi would threaten to kill when Namjoon would come in loud and drinking. That’s one thing that he couldn’t stand, it reminded him of his fathers' drunken exuberance. He hated that.

 Yoongi wasn’t the slightest bit a saint. He would get angry and take it out on the only people who care. He was blunt, he calls it like it is and if you have a problem you can just leave. He was contrary to Namjoons precise and meticulous way of phrasing things. He had a nasty habit of breaking the hearts of the women who tried to get close to him. He also was a bit of a pothead during his teenage years, he had no room to judge.

When you made it down a flight of stairs you saw Jin, standing at a table with a few guys doing other stuff, you weren’t sure. 

“Y/n,” Jin called you out, “what’re you doing up here? You’re supposed to stay upstairs...” 

“I’m just-” You tried to explain but he just cut you off.

“You should to go back to your room and get some rest, I don’t want you down here.” He looked back down at what he was doing, you were not about to be sent back to your room like some child. You thought about walking back upstairs but then you thought about it, you don’t have to do what he says.

“But I need to talk to you.” You walked off to a corner and waited for him to follow. “Now.”

You had such a persistent attitude if he didn’t follow you he didn’t how you would resist or retaliate, better not to take his chances.

“Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something, can we talk later?”

“Where is my Aunt? Melinda West, that’s her name.” You crossed your arms, furrowing your brows when you realized how his mind was elsewhere. 

“Your aunt?” He knitted his brows. “I’m not sure.”

“How could you not be sure? They kidnapped her for information about you and you don’t know where she is?” 

He snapped. “Did you try to contact her? Look, I have a lot going on, I can’t go around keeping tabs on everyone-”

“You people kept tabs on Jungkook, didn’t you? But not on her.” You criticized.

“For the sake of your well-being, Y/n, yes, we had to.” In his mind, it was a literal matter of fact.

“That’s bullshit Jin, but keep telling yourself that. And I couldn’t contact her for months because they took my phone as soon as I got there, I was off the grid, I couldn’t contact anyone. Not too long ago I took someone else’s phone to call her. When I called her she said not to call her again...I want to know why she said that...Maybe someone was threatening her, I don’t know, she didn’t want anything to do with me and I don’t know why...” 

“I can’t help you with that right now. What matters is your safety. Your aunt isn’t my problem, you are.”

“She’s my mother, Jin,’ You threw your arms up in frustration. “The least you can do is look into it,” Without even giving him the chance to respond, you blew him off—Why did you even try to talk to him? All you wanted to do was get more information about her and he could care less. You walked away but not far enough not to hear his conversation. 

Wei. The man who was responsible for Hakyeons death stood right beside Jin, and no one had a clue. To your relief he was leaving, probably to go do some illegal activities. You monitored the man's body language and it said everything. The way he walked, talked and even looked, was reeking with lies and mischief—he looked so suspicious.

“Jin, Sir, we haven’t gotten any updates on his whereabouts but we’re pretty sure he’s still at the hospital.” 

“Okay, we’ll handle him in time. He is in for a world of pain for what he’s done...” Jin scoffed. The faster he could destroy Jungkook, the easier it’ll be to get you to realize that you didn’t need him, Jungkook had to be subtracted from this situation, it was essential. 

Jeon Jungkook, forever the most tenacious person he’s ever known. 

Years ago, when Kookie was just a teenager, he would constantly observe those around him. Reading their every move like a hawk. It was clever really, watching someone so much that you know hove to treat them to get your way, it was a skill and he mastered it. Jungkook was tricky, despite his innocent and agreeable facade, under all of that was a boy who wanted what he wanted and took it if he felt like it. That’s what used to drive him insane; Jungkook would beat someone half to death, then barely have anyone say a thing about it. He could get away with murder.

“What is he thinking?...” Some guy commented and you lingered around to see what else he had to say. “I hope he suffers for what he did.” The guy talking was fairly close to Hakyeon, and just like everyone else, he thinks it was Jungkook. As much as you trash talk Namjoon, he cared about Jungkook and that made up for the shit he put you through.

Don’t react, don’t react, you chanted in your mind...You were finding it harder not to tell them all off. They didn’t even see Jungkook, they were going off of rumors and assumptions.

“Jungkook didn’t do that.” You blurted it out before you even thought about it, you just defended the man they all wanted to kill.

Everyone in the room stared at you/

“What?” The guy next to Jin frowned at you, when you looked over at Jin, you knew you were in trouble. “How the hell would she know?” 

“She doesn’t.” Jin shot back. He was not happy. It was hard enough trying to keep you from everyone, he didn’t want to have to hide you and Jungkooks relationship too. Disappearing would be your best option right now. So that’s what you did, you ran in the opposite direction of Jin, hoping he wouldn’t come running after you—he probably will though.

You walked with an urgency to find an exit. “Ah-” You ran into someone’s chest.

 “Sorry,” You said that with very little repentance and Jimin only giggled when you neglected to look up at him. You just stormed off and he was sure you didn’t know where you were going.

“Hyung, what’s going on?” Jimin blocked him by putting himself in his path. “Is everything okay? Y/n looks upset,” Jin shook his head, a rant is guaranteed to follow.

“She just defended Jungkook in front of everyone. She’s demanding that I find her aunt as if I’m supposed to know where she is. She’s so ungrateful, she’s always been like this. I’ve busted my ass to get her safe and she doesn’t even appreciate it, Jungkook ruined her.” Jin was unusually excitable, something was throwing him off and whatever you had said probably made it worse. “It makes me regret all those years we were apart, I don’t get her at all,” Jin wandered off into a frustrated frenzy.

Jimin made a small sound by clicking his tongue against his teeth, was saving a flower as in danger as you were a good decision, he wondered if he did the right thing... Should he have ever taken you from them? Would you lash out at him for it? Would you start to despise him like you’re doing to your brother? Those questions circled in his mind.

Hoseok came in from the back, going through his workroom, of course, he would feel more inclined to go to the room he spent the most time in. He sat his bag in the corner before pushing his hair back, he was exhausted but at least he won’t have to worry about held up shipments. A dozen of the runners was informed of the news and instructed to communicate with their buyers before finalizing any sales. As long as he could keep the drug trafficking steady, there was one less thing to worry about, at least until another problem arose.

For the first time in a few days, he was where he called home and he figured he’d check in with Yoongi. The man with the persona of cold, cruel and underlying insouciance had always made him interested, how could someone appear so seasoned? Yoongi was fairly young but his aura was beyond his years. Everything about Yoongi screamed troubled childhood, to his dark eyes, bruised knuckles, and thin legs. There was just something about him. Despite his boyish face, he was a little screwed up inside and it was enthralling.

And that’s what made him so good.

“I don’t care.” 

Hoseok heard a female voice say passively; when he peeked out he realized whose voice it was. Since Yoongi’s, Jin’s and Jimin’s rooms weren’t far from his. They all shared a kitchen and a dismal excuse for a dining room.

“You don’t know anything about him, Y/n.” Jin snorted, shaking his head, that was the start of the heated argument. “I know you had it rough but don’t you see that Jungkook is playing you? The mere fact that you would see him as-” He paused. “How do you see him? What kind of relationship do you even have for you to think that he’s innocent? He’s a killer and a liar, that’s just a fact.” The more he talked, the more matter of fact his tone got, it was starting to piss you off.

That’s when Jimin walked in, sweaty and damp because of his nightly training,  and he realized that the argument was still escalating

“He’s isn’t a liar. If he told me he didn’t do it, he didn’t do it. I don’t know where the hell you got the idea that-”

“We have evidence that he was there. We saw him leaving the building after the fire.” He reached into the drawer and slammed the photo on the table. “Explain that, will you?”

You peeked over at the picture and there Jungkook was in the photo, the briefcase in handbag and blood streaming down From the wound you often cared for at his hairline.

“Okay, so what?” 

“So? So he was there, was he not the only person at the scene?”

“How do I know if you didn’t have the pictures of the other person thrown out? I don’t know you that well, Jin, but I know Jungkook, he didn’t kill anyone -”

“Killing is literally what he does! That’s how he gets paid and he’s been doing it since he was a kid. If you really knew him that well, you would know that.” He rubbed his temples, m you were speaking nonsense to him. To see Jungkook as anything but a nuisance was not fathomable for him.

“That doesn’t change anything,” You shoot back, “he cares about me more than you do.” 

It was true, in your perspective, Jungkook loved you more than anyone and no one would ever understand that.

“Oh please, while you were hooking up with that bastard, I was doing everything in my power to save you from him. I don’t get it, why are you making this so difficult? God, I’m trying to make this easy for us,”

“You're the reason I was with them in the first place! You are the problem here, not me! You don’t care about anyone but yourself, .” You almost screamed and you had to bite your lip in an attempt to keep you from walking out. You suddenly felt Jimin walk up behind you, wishing to deflate the issue between these two dysfunctional siblings. But you weren’t finished. 

“You don’t give a damn about me! I know you don’t. You just want to massage your fucking ego by making me seem weak, but you don’t know what I’ve gone through because of your trifling ass, me meeting Jungkook is your fault, and now you’re mad because I don’t hate him...I love him.”

“You love him!?” He had that funny look on his face as if he were shocked. He swallowed, pressing his lips into a line when you suddenly revealed how upset you were.

So, that’s what it is.

“That good, huh?”

“What?” You crooked your brow, what he’s implying is gonna get him killed if he doesn’t watch it.

He smirked. “You stayed with Jungkook, in his room, this entire time...You didn’t fight him. You just stayed there, and did what exactly?” The tension between you two was thick, Jimin cleared his throat and was just about to say something.

“What’re you trying to say?” You crossed your arms, daring him to further explain.

“Y/n, I’m not saying you’re loose or anything but-” He sighs, you aren’t making this easy for him to say.

“Come on, he’s a man Y/n, you mean to tell me he showed you the ‘utmost respect’? ” He gestured quotation marks. “I’m sure you know about Jiyoon...He sure didn’t have her around for a heart-to-heart.”

“I’m not like her,” Why he was trying you right now was beyond your comprehension. If his point was to bring you to your boiling point then it was working effectively.

“Don’t say shit like that about your sister,” Jimin sounded serious, he knew your relationship with Jungkook. To think Jin had the audacity to bring that girl up was low. “Is that really necessary? Jiyoon has nothing to do with this,” You were glad Jimin was defending you but you also remembered that he played a big part in taking you away from Jungkook.

“Stay out of this, this is between Y/n and myself,” Jin’s expression contorted in disgust. “I don’t want to imagine what he did to get you to be this die hard for him.”

“Shut up.” You warned.

But he kept opening that big mouth.

“Did he establish it or were you just an automatic plaything-”

“Shut up! He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me and you wouldn’t understand that,” You were gonna kill him if he says one more thing-

“Oh?” He feigned as if it was a surprise. “I never saw Jungkook as the type to-...take things slow, not sure why you’d be an exception. He always seemed more demanding, ready to go at it at any time, Jiyoon could tell you that much,”

That was it.

Before you knew it your fist flew across his face and you made the final decision, he has to die tonight. “Fuck you! You ruined my fucking life!-” You lunged forward at him but you were lifted to you’re feet by nonother than Jimin.

“Y/n, quit it!” Jimin grabbed your arms, pulling them to your body to keep your hands away from Jin. “Calm down, he doesn’t mean it! calm down.” You struggled to get out of his grip because you were so close to hitting Jin again but so far.

You screamed. “Jimin! Let go of me! Let go!-” You tried to lunge towards him again but you struggled pitifully. Jin’s cheek had already begun to form a bruise, you wanted him to suffer for what he said. 

“You're a shitty brother Jin!” You screamed, tears streaming down your cheeks beyond your control. “You’re nothing like my father! You’re a lying, cheating, dishonest bitch-” You paused, catching your breath. “I can’t believe I ever thought I needed you!” 

How could I be so broken?... That’s when the build-up of anger, confusion, sadness, all those things Jungkook would keep you from feeling but it hit you all at once. It was painful, you couldn’t handle it anymore and Jin was the most suitable punching bag in your eyes.

“So you think punching me is gonna make a difference?!” And he had the audacity to still blame you. “You're acting like a child...” He shook his head to condemn you.

“Someone finally got to knock some sense into you.” Hoseok walked into to room and you looked at you. He’s the one who kept drugging you up in the beginning when all this mess arose.

“Get out,” Jin did not have the patience for Jung Hoseok right now.

“No, I don’t have to listen to you,” He took long and slow strides towards you and Jimin. His gaze fell on you as Jimin tried to calm your rage but you only became more frustrated as you tried to free yourself. 

“I feel the same way about him.” You froze when you heard him speak almost sweet, sympathetic words towards you. “But I’ve never had the satisfaction of punching him, you did me a favor, sunshine, thanks.” He pats your shoulder, giving you a genuinely honest smile. This is the same man that injected you with drugs, but for some reason, you were on his side. 

“Don’t start guys,” There was only so much conflict Jimin could mediate in one day before he goes crazy, and he was almost at his limit.  

Hoseok continued. “No, I don’t trust you Jin, and you’ve given me every reason not to.” He dropped the honorifics completely when talking to Jin, what’s the point in breaking his back for someone he doesn’t even respect? “You’re a joke.”

“Really?” He sneered. “We’re all adults here, and things happen. You feel wronged once and then go pout about it, like a child. It’s funny how you still don’t understand the complications that goes along with this business.” He chortled, trying to tend to his bruise with the coolness of the back of his hand, it didn’t make much of a difference, it still felt terribly sore, he wondered how you learned to punch so hard. 

“When Yoongi picked you up off the street, you were a mess...You’re still joined at the hip with him because of that, you’d do anything he asks.” Jin was teasing a raw nerve bringing that up, Jimin saw the look on Hobi’s face and was a bit worried about Jin's safety from then on. Hoseok packed quite the punch. “Like everyone else in this organization, you have to fend for yourself.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He spat. “And if you want to talk about the past you can’t forget about your own.” He glared at Jin who was returning the gesture with his an unfazed look. 

“You sold info on us under the table, for extra coins. You dug that hole and we all should’ve buried you in it—but we didn’t, Yoongi had a heart for you. But not only did you continue to lie to his face,  he knew it. He knew most of what you were doing but he didn’t say anything to you. To this day, I don’t know why he won’t let you go.”

Yoongi is clever, strategic, he could outsmart anybody, so Jin shouldn’t be. He could predict Namjoons moves before he even did them sometimes, so why is Jin the exception?

“Look at yourself. You created this mess and you dragged me into it.” Somehow, you felt like you came to Hoseok’s defense, as you were still being held back by Jimin. Anyone against Jin seemed to be on your side now. “You left me to those people and never in a million years did you think I wanted to stay with them, but you’re wrong. If Namjoon came here right now and told me he’d take me away from you, I’d go without hesitation.” 

“You're delusional-”

“All of you, my office. Now.” 

That voice like intimidation embodied in a single sentence.

Uh oh. 

Yoongi stood at the pathway from his office after being rudely interrupted by all the ruckus. He just walked into a circus of crazy people that he’s in charge of. It wasn’t a sight he was new to but it looked ridiculous. Jimin was holding you back like some rabid dog, Hoseok was cursing at Jin and Jin had a bruised cheek. He’s had it with the four of you.

“But Yoongi-”

“In here, now. God help me if I have to say it again.” Yoongi was not about to hear anyone’s explanation until he asked for it. The three men murmured as they followed behind Yoongi who was already inside. He peeked out to see you standing there with a pout on your face.

“You too.” He pointed at you, his gaze getting darker the longer you stood there.

Being summoned to a talking-to with these guys wasn’t something you’ve ever imagined or planned for. With heavy, slow steps, you trudged you’re way into his office, the big room that was far too much space for one person. The three of them stood in front of Yoongi and you skipped over to do the same, it was funny how they all towered over you, or so it felt like they were towering over you.

He leaned against his desk, eye drifting between all of you guilty culprits, before speaking. 

“All of you have forgotten your places here,” He paced, not looking either of you in the eye, “and I won’t put up with this bullshit. All of you are aware of the mess we’re in and how we got into it. But you’re acting like a bunch of fucking kids.” He furrowed his brow, eyes cutting to Jin.

“Let’s start with you,” Jin had the nerve to give him a smug look, with his half bruised pretty face. 

“You gave Jimin a job to spy on Jungkook behind my back, what the fuvk? That should have gone by me first,”

“Yoongi, I have a job to get back to.” Jin, always thinking about himself.

Yoongi sighed, scratching the back of his neck before taking all his willpower to not beat the living daylights out of him.

A sound of a clearing caught his attention and his eyes went to Jimin. “And you. You didn’t even say anything, you just did whatever he told you to do? Do you know who you answer to anymore? Because it sure as hell ain’t Kim Seokjin.”

“Hyung...” Jimin attempted to speak but it was so low and he rather not interrupts in a mood like this.

He went on to the next victim. 

“Hoseok, you’re the only person I can really trust, but even you, ” As much as he tried to calm down his tone sharpened noticeably “You’ve been God knows where doing God knows what, I don’t know what secrets you’re hiding.” The next and last culprit.

“And you.”

You.

He was looking at you. With slow steps he walked over from Hoseok who was next to Jimin, who was standing next to you, pitting you as his boss scrutinized your very presence.

You grumbled, tilting your head and running you’re tongue against your teeth with an attitude. Even with the crook of his brow, you could go so far as to say he wasn’t surprised. Surely you didn’t think you were some hotshot now that you punched your brother. In his eyes you’re just a girl with a troubled family, somewhat like himself. Aside from the fact that your father shielded you from it while his father bathed him in ideology. His father taught him that the things of this world were at his will if he wanted it to be. That man believed he was a God.

“There has been nothing but chaos since you arrived. The only reason you’re here is because you’re Jin’s little sister and now Jungkook’s...something.” He said that last part as a bit of a question.

“Bullshit...” You gritted your teeth, clenching your fists in anger. “You gave me to them like a piece property, I’m not here because of them I’m here because of you.”

“I didn’t know who you were until you were already gone. Honestly, it wouldn’t have changed anything, my people were on the line. So, in my eyes, you were a casualty. The bottom line is, I didn’t know who you were, kid.” He made it a point to emphasize the dynamics here, you were basically just some kid in his eyes, even if you were here you weren’t experienced.

“You didn’t fucking know? And you think you have the right to choose who to sacrifice or not?” You breathed in with the intent to hurt his pride. “Fuck you and this hell group you call a fucking business-”

“Calm down before you say something you regret,” He leans down to whisper in your ear, causing the room to zero their attention on you, “you’re just as flip at the mouth as your brother, but I won’t take it from you, you don’t know me.”

“I’m-…I’m sorry,” You hurriedly apologized, biting your lips.

Now that is interesting—he tilted his head, for some reason he didn’t expect you to apologize so quickly. You uttered a sweet little ‘I’m sorry’ as if you didn’t just cuss him out. He now knows you were lying straight through her teeth, you were just having an outburst. You were bluffing, so why did it look so believable? 

They all noticed how Yoongi eyed you a bit longer than normal.

 “I’ll be out for a while, you’re dismissed,” Everyone was given the cue to leave and so they did. Jimin was right in front of you and you were right at the edge of leaving this room and planning your escape.

“Not you,” He grabbed your wrist and pulled you from the door shutting it in the process. “we need to talk.”

“About what?...” Your voice became timid when you realized that you were all alone with this man.

“You said that Jungkook didn’t kill Hakyeon, why did you say that? Were you there?”

You shook your head as a response and he groaned in annoyance.

“Say something. You sure had a lot to say earlier,”

“Why?” You fire back, “Don’t you already believe Jungkook did it? Why would my word mean anything to you? You told me you don’t even believe that I love him...” You make a fair point.

“That’s true, but I don’t think you’d lie about him unless it was to save him. Hoseok doesn’t think it was him, and I trust him more than anyone right now. So, why don’t you think Jungkook did it?” He questioned.

“He just didn’t do it, he has proof but I think it was destroyed or something, I don’t know... He didn’t kill that guy, but the person who did it did it on purpose and I don’t know why. Did you ever ask Jimin or Jin if they knew anything?”

“You would know more about him right now,” Yoongi went to his drawer and pulled out a folder, he handed it to you.

“What's this?”

“It's a file.”

“What's in it?”

“Open it.”

You opened up the file and the first page was a list of names with numbers beside them, numbers in the hundreds. Some of those numbers had red marks beside them, indicating that they must’ve been different from the others.

“What is this?” 

“Every person with a red line was recently killed in the explosion.”

“Oh,” your tone saddened at the thought of that, you sat the folder back on his desk, “why are you telling me this?...”

“Whether you like it or not, you’re Jin’s family and that means you’re on our side, for now at least. Every red line was a life lost by the hands of them, I’m showing you that to say this; we are enemies. I’m responsible for everyone in this building, even you. Your ties to Jungkook is the most annoying part of this whole mess,”

“Namjoon ordered that you stay in that room, didn’t he?” You nod. “And that room was Jungkook’s room, and to his surprise, Jungkook didn’t throw you out...he fell for you. Damn it, he knew that would happen. Shit, he’s smart but I’ve never met anyone so malicious.” He sighed. Your attachment to Jungkook was arranged, and vice versa. Anything to cause more problems, Joon made sure it happened.

His eyes drifted downwards. “Get some shoes on, you’re coming with me.”

“Jungkook...It’s dark, why did you wake me up?... You know it’s hard for me to go back to sleep when I wake up this early...” You mumbled almost inaudibly, trying to turn away from him and go back tonight sleep but he grabbed hold of your arm and scooted closer to you. 

“I know, but I couldn’t go back to sleep...” He nuzzled his face into your chest, his arms wrapping around your waist and he shut his eyes. “My head is killing me...it hurts really bad...” He mumbled, with pouty lips that you couldn’t see well but you knew he was making them.

“Fine... just try to go back to sleep...” Your warm fingers slowly went up to massage his scalp and any pain or discomfort began to fade away, 

and so did that beautiful memory.

The peaceful dream he was having, of you, just being with him was not something he wanted to be pulled from. But consciousness kept pulling him out of his deep sleep and ultimately it prevailed.

He woke up to a dark bedroom, the parking lot lights illuminated the room along with lights from the cars on the street. Did I really sleep all day? He started to question whether that nap was voluntary, he was never one to really sleep for extensive periods of time even when he was sick. 

“You’re finally awake, ready to talk now?”

He's back.

A number of questions would normally be running through his mind of he’d be telling him off. But he was oddly tame, all he did was stare at his brother who was sitting in the recliner, legs crossed, with a cup of tea in his hands. He took Jungkook calm expression as the go ahead.

“You’re on a few medications for your injuries so it’s expected that you get tired. But let’s talk,” He brought the mug to his lips, sipping it diligently.

“I really do want to make things right Jungkook, I know you probably don’t believe me but I do feel bad for the stuff that’s happened over the years...” Jungkook was actually listening, not interrupting him like he was used to.

“But you know mom isn’t without sin, Dad messed up but he wasn’t the only person at fault in our lives...”

“Yeah, right, like she decided to join the military and fuck up her kid's lives,” Jungkook mumbled sarcastically, moving his arm to realize his wrist was no longer cuffed to the bed. “The only person that messed up was him, and now you...”

“You’re biased, I can understand that since I wasn’t really in your life and neither was Dad. And I guess there’s no way I can convince you that mom was at fault, so I’ll leave that alone.” He continued. “But when dad died I was there for you and you told me to get out of your life, it’s not my fault you were immature and didn’t want my help.”

“I saw you maybe a total of 5 times before he died, I hardly know you, aside from the research I’ve done. And by the way, while you were off getting your medical degree and sending checks that she never fucking cashed, she was getting sick...” That’s when Jungkook choked a bit on the thought of what had happened.

“I was there even when she started having health issues, it’s not my fault that you almost worried her to death-”

“Y’know how I can tell when you’re lying?” He jeered. 

“Your lips fucking move. You’re a liar, you know you were never there. Your money was there, your stupid letters that I fucking burned anytime you mentioned me were there, but there’s no way in hell that your useless ass was ever there.” Jungkook swung his legs over the edge of the bed and groaned, already itching to curse him out.

“Jungkook, that’s not true. When she went away I went to see her dozens of times.”

“Don’t remind me. I know you went to see her and it drove me insane. Her sister swore that living with me made her worse but it wasn’t me, she loved me, and she couldn’t bear being without me.” There was a look of both confusion and anger, he didn’t how he was supposed to feel, he just knew he didn’t want tin to feel this way anymore. “Leave, just get the fuck out. I don’t want to talk anymore...”

“Look, I think we need to talk about this.” His older brother’s gaze suddenly softened a bit. “Whether you like it or not, she is my mother too. I am your brother and you can’t decide whether I see her or not. I know it’s hard for you to understand but no matter what you say, or what you do, you can’t control me.” Junghyun was standing, pacing back and forth. 

“I’m an adult, I have my life and you have yours but the one thing we have in common is our parents, and they have a lot to do with our problems...”

“Shut the fuck up. Don’t blame her for any of this shit, all she wanted to do was protect me.” Jungkook suddenly shot out of bed and ran up to Junghyun, making him flinch a little. He stood equally the same height as him, Jungkooks soft hair looked as if it hadn’t been brushed properly.

“Where were you when she fainted at work because she was overheated and fucking exhausted, huh?! were you cooking dinner for her when she was crying from a pain that had no cure?... Were you there massaging her feet because she had to stand up for almost twelve fucking hours, just to make ends meet? And where were you when that asshole of a boss fired her because she caught the flu and missed one fucking day...Don’t ever tell me you were there for us because you weren’t.” After a good thirty seconds of tense eye-contact, he decided to continue speaking. 

“She never told you this but not long after the funeral, the monthly check from the military stopped coming. She didn’t want to ask you because she said you were too busy with whatever shit you were doing to help her. She didn’t even tell me until I went through the mail and saw that we got a notice from the bank saying we were late on some of the bills. I couldn’t let her pay the bills with the little savings from the check she used to get and she didn’t want to ask anyone. I took it upon myself to take care of her, and we were doing just fine. I did what I had to do to get the money. If it wasn’t for my real brothers, we would’ve been on the streets. She didn’t like how I got the money I had to, someone had to take care of her,” Never in his years of knowing Jungkook had he seen him show sadness rather than anger. The onslaught of memories was too much to come to grips with, he began to tear up, he wasn’t sure if he was sad or angry, but right now he just wants to stop feeling.

He paused and took a little while before saying anything. “I’m sorry you’ve had to do this alone, really, I am...” How he could just look at the person in front of him, his little brother who he never grew up with was right in front of him, showing him how affected he was by his childhood. “I know how much mom means to you, that’s why I want to take you to see her...”

After that single sentence, Jungkook stared out the window, the parking lot lights shining on his pretty slightly bruised skin.

“She doesn’t know we’re coming, but I’m pretty sure you haven’t gone to see her in a while, she tells me you don’t call that much anymore...She misses you Jungkook, and I know you miss her, she’ll be happy to see us both. So, why don’t you come with me?” Junghyun eagerly awaited a response.

Jungkook turned his head to leer at him just standing in front of the door, he couldn’t open his mouth to form a response, all he could do was stare. 

“I can try to get the police to drop the charges or something...If you decide to come let me know...” With that Junghyun exited the room, and that triggered a sudden lashing out from Jungkook.

“Fuck you motherfucker- Son of a bitch-” He cried out in rage, storming around the room like he was on a rampage, which he was. “Fuck you!” He was spitting out every profanity and insult he could think of as he kicked the mini trash can at the end of the bed. “I’m gonna fucking kill him! I swear, the next time I see him he’s a dead man. I’ll fucking kill him, I swear to god I’ll kill’em!” After using all the strength he could muster up to kick any poor unsuspecting object in his path, he was finally having a breakdown.

He was angry and couldn’t decide who he was angry at. His father, Junghyun, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jiyoon—all of those names contributed heavily to his upbringing. It was abuse, it had to be. Someone as young as he was should have never had to live the way he did with the people he lived with.

He slumped over on the floor, tears still flowing steadily but he stopped moving, he sat still yet shaky. “I need-...I need-” He stuttered, rubbing his eyes like a distraught child. “Agh...I need you, I need you...” He didn’t who he was calling to, you or his mother, he just knew he needed someone to kiss him and tell him to calm down, and that it was okay, or he’s gonna hurt himself and others...

As he wallowed in his emotion the low buzz of his phone caught his attention. He almost broke his neck trying to get to that phone, he almost forgot to answer it before putting it to his ear.

“Hello? Jungkook, you there?”

“Hyung...”

“I’m coming to get you, okay? Give me a few hours and I’ll be there.” Taehyung told him all he’s wanted to here for days now and he couldn’t even respond. “Jungkook? Hello?”

“Y-yeah,” He cleared his throat, “I’ll be waiting...” 

You sat anxiously, twiddling your fingers as you were forced to accompany Yoongi on his little outing, for what reason you had no idea. You listened in on the conversation, he was talking lowly, almost not audibly. Every few minutes you’d see him do this little thing, his lips would part a bit and his eyes squint as his tongue would brush against his teeth. Jungkook would do that anytime he was upset with you but didn’t want to get into an argument, not that you had many arguments at all.

The city made you hopeful, anytime you’d go through it—it reminded you that it was still possible to live a normal life. Seeing families walking down the street, creating more memories for their children and themselves. Is that what a young family looks like? You wouldn’t really know. All you knew was what you had, and that wasn’t much but it was something. 

While you were lost in your daydream, you hadn’t noticed that the car was already parked in a lot with a few others. 

“Stay here.” That little command caught you off guard and you just watched him get out of the car and his eyes cut back to you, you swallowed. He looked at you and you tilted your head in confusion—why did he bring you with him if this is all you were gonna do. And to make matters worse you felt like you had to pee.

He vanished in front of the building, this building looked more like a two-story mansion or something. What is this place?

He walked through the entrance gate easily, knowing that it would never be unlocked. He walked up to the front door, ringing the doorbell only once before he heard someone coming to the door.

“Mr. Min, Seo said to come right up.” His wife greeted him as if he were a work associate, which in a sense he was. Yoongi gave her a slight nod before walking up the marble staircase, the pathway to Seo’s office. When he walked around the corner he wasn’t met with the ever so faithful Officer Seo.

“Mr. Min, you made it.” Seo stood you his feet, smiling from ear to ear like his own son. “You look good.” He laughed sarcastically, Yoongi looked as sleep deprived as always. Yoongi took a seat in front of his desk and sighed, waiting for Taji to lay it on him.

“Well, you probably know why I wanted to talk.” 

“Yeah,” Yoongi smiled slightly. “I have an idea.”

“Yoongi, the explosion on your enemies territory, it wasn’t exactly private.” He took off his glasses, setting them on the table. “Care to explain how that happened?”

“I’m in a tough spot right now,” He pressed his fingers to his temples. “There’s not much more I can say, you know that Seo.”

“You have to say something Yoongi, some of the guys down at the police department are dying to know why we aren’t further investigating. As the director, I have to give the city an explanation and the news stations have already gotten their hands on it. They want to send federal agents...” He picked up the remote and turned on the local news station. The news reporter stood across the street from the destroyed building and the headline read, 

‘Suspected Terrorist Attack?’ 

“When did this start?” 

“Early this morning, you’ve been pretty busy I take it?” Seo had to scoff a little, he would never understand the morning routine of a mafia leader.

“Yeah, busy isn’t quite the word for it.” Yoongi walked towards the TV, then turned to look back. “But what does this have to do with me? All of my members are untraceable and Namjoon is in hiding, why does this matter to me?”

The nervous chuckle coming from Seo peeked Yoongi’s natural suspicions.

“The Director of Health and Welfare wants a word with you over the phone.” The phone on the desk was on hold—he noticed that when he walked in. “Here.” He handed Yoongi the phone and for a second he considered walking out but he may as well get it over with.

“I know you were involved so you better tell me something, Yoongi.”

“You’re not entitled to any information involving me or-”

“Damn it, Yoongi. I may not know everything about your organization but I know the explosion happened at a location that had too much correlation with you.” 

“I’m not worried. You don’t know the hell I’ve been going through and frankly, it’s none of your concern. So, do me a favor...Stay out of this and my lovely mother won’t live broken-hearted because of us, understand?”

“Don't even try it. Your actions could put you in a bad place, son. Just like your father-”

His chest rose and fell in irritation. “Fuck off. You don’t know shit about him and I swear to god if you mention him again you will regret it.” He seethed. “If I really wanted it, I could have your little position taken in seconds.” The grip on the plastic black phone tightened. 

He dismissed the threat. “Tell me you’re going to take care of this. I can’t afford to have my good name involved in your mess.” 

“Look,” He leaned in, “your empire is on the surface, the pillars that keep you standing are underground, my territory. All I have to do is knock on one, then they all come tumbling down.” His tone darkened. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay out of my fucking business.”

“...” 

The sound of the dial tone was his only response. Yoongi always thought Kenneth was a jack-ass so this wasn’t new.

He groaned. “So, that’s why you were so persistent in meeting me. It was him.” The pesky husband of hers, he knew he never liked him and he had a good reason not to—the man was a fake. 

“Yeah, what can I say.” He put the phone on the hook and sighed. “I’m in with both of you.”

“He won’t be so quick to interfere when he realizes who he’s married to.” He wasn’t afraid to use his mother as a threat—it was sick but that’s how the game is played. 

“Seo, I have a small favor to ask.”

He hummed in question. “What is it?”

“Can you give me everything you know about a Melinda West and Jeon Jungkooks whereabouts?”

Meanwhile...

“I have to pee...” You said for the fifth time to yourself, and you couldn’t hold it in anymore; if a girl’s gotta go, a girl’s gotta go. You opened the car door and looked around, hoping no one was watching you. You could see a convenience store not too far down the road, and he wouldn’t notice if you left for a few minutes-...wait a minute, this was the perfect time to escape, he wasn’t around, you could leave...

“Where are you going?” 

Just in the nick of time.

You couldn’t hide how startled you were, your stance became unsteady and you looked as if you’d been caught. Taking into account your sprained ankle, bruised arms and pitiful—you took a risk. You ran. You didn’t look back.

“Hugh...” He got in the car and shoved the key into the ignition, he put the pedal to the metal and followed you full speed. You were really trying his patience with a stunt like this, you couldn’t run fast enough to ever outrun him, let alone a car.

When you looked back he was hot on your trail. This wasn’t your original plan, but you ran as fast as you could with your sprained ankle. 

This was new, he’s never had to chase someone like this. He knew you once tried to run from Namjoon, and he’d dare say that Namjoon probably reprimanded you nicer than he’s about to. He couldn’t understand it, you are literally running from the person responsible for saving your ass. He decided that he’d make it a point to make you regret every decision that leads up to this conclusion. To your dismay, there was a guy on the street who was drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette, he had his eyes on you. Before you could get past him he grabbed your arm and smiled drunkenly. He was wasted. And you did not have time for this.

“Where’re you going pretty lady, huh?” He didn’t know who he was messing with right now.

“Fuck off!” Without so much of a second thought, punched him. He went tumbling to the ground and you felt bad for a split second. That ounce of sympathy fades quickly when you saw Yoongi driving up to the pavement beside you. You probably knocked the intoxication out of this pervert but you didn’t have time to think about that. You stood there like a deer in the headlights and Yoongi managed to let down his window and looked at you.

“Get in the car, now.” 

“No!” You kept running. You just ran and ran and ran...You weren’t sure how long you could keep going, you’re ankle wasn’t subtle at reminding you of how sprained it was. There wasn’t a police officer in sight and you were being chased by a mafia boss—great timing. Yoongi shouted something at you from the car but you just ignored him.

There were miles of alleyways and you ran down the most narrow one you could see, he couldn’t drive through there, you thought hopefully. You laughed, you kind of felt like you won, you’re freedom has finally come. By the sound of a closing car door you looked behind you, he was running after you, and he was close. That’s when you knew you had lost.

“Aghh!” You screamed when you saw him approaching, you found it hard to believe he got on foot to catch you. His eyes bore into your skull as he was catching up to your pitiful attempt at running—this had to be the worst decision you could’ve made.

“Ugh!-” He tackled you from behind and you went straight to the ground—worsening your pre-existing injuries. “Ah-...G-get off-” He manhandled you but not on purpose, he knew you were injured but you didn’t seem to care when you elbowed him in the stomach. He grunted and held his abdomen for a second, you managed to stand for a few seconds and he pressed you against the wall. 

“You’re testing your luck.” He hissed. You were breathing hard and his eyes were glued to yours, daring you to try something. You furrowed your brows and looked down. You stomped on his foot and tried to burst out in a sprint.

“Ah- fuck, I swear, if you don’t-” He yanked you back and stood behind you. His arm tightly wrapped in front of your stomach and over your chest, immobilizing you. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Getting away from you!-” You thrashed against him but that only made him tighten his grip. You hissed at the pain that began to spread like wildfire starting from your ankle. “I want to go home!-”

He threw you out of his arms and you stumbled over your feet. You fell face first into the gravel and asphalt, scrapping your already bruised hands in the process. “Ah, ouch-” You tried to stand but when he lunged towards you, you fell back in involuntary submission—you would be a fool to challenge him now.

He clenched his fist. “Home?”

“And where the fuck is that!? Where will you go? You’re gonna run all over this damn city and get yourself abducted or arrested, all because you want to go home, and you don’t even know where the fuck that is, do you?” He actually shouted at you. The vein in his neck bulged against his milky skin. For the first time, you were completely frozen in shock, your mouth went agape in disbelief. 

Suddenly, you were terrified of him but you still tried to stand up and say something. “I don’t want to-”

“Shut the hell up,” You flinched at his harsh tone. He glared down at you. “If you interrupt me one more time you’ll have more to cry about than a’couple dislocated fingers.” He cut you off before you said something that got you in even more trouble. “Don’t move.” 

He pointed downward like an angry parent. I rung my white flag in surrender then. 

He was piping hot with you and every other situation he’s in, you were a temporary punching bag. He groaned and huffed while mustering up something to say to you. You were already looking like you were about to cry but he didn’t have the patience to hand hold.

“You don’t have a home, kid. That’s why you’re with us, you have nowhere to go and you’re alone.” He inhaled then exhaled deeply, looking down at your teary puppy dog eyes with not an ounce of sympathy. This is life, and life won’t give you a hug and a tissue when you cry. “That’s the truth, it burns, doesn’t it?”

It burned down to your core, the reality was just thrown in your face and you couldn’t take it. You didn’t have a real home anymore, you just wandered around hoping to find solitude in someone, anyone. For so long, Jungkook was able to block out the severity of your situation. You’re here alone now, you had to deal with it all by yourself.

You choked, you couldn’t hold it in, tears began streaming down your cheeks almost instantly. You just cried, for a good minute you just sobbed and sobbed until Yoongi knelt in front of you. You hid your face out of shame, this man was actually trying to help you but you just put your life on the line to attempt an escape.

“Your hands, Y/n,” He pulled your hands from your face and your feeble fingers trembled under his scrutiny. A bit of blood was on your face too. “You’re gonna get an infection if you leave them like this.” He looked at the already bruised up flesh to see blood trickling slowly from the abrasion on the ball of your hand.

“Come back to the car,” When he finally let go of your hands he urged you to follow him. You steadily listened to the sound of the dirt being crushed under his feet, you were like that dirt these days. Anything could trample you and you were still there, holding on. When you were back in the car he drove back to Seo’s and parked. He didn’t pull off or turn the car on.

“Your aunt is safe and alive but she’s no longer in the city.” 

“Really?” You were at a loss for words.

“She was a hostage but that didn’t last long, she got away, maybe a month ago, something like that,” He spread his legs a bit to relax, Jungkook did that too when he was in the car—that quality distracted you for a short second. You were touched, the mere fact that he even cared to check on her warmed your heart, for only a second. “Now you can stop asking about her, she’s fine.”

It was comforting to know she was okay, that phone call was probably because she had no other choice but to answer the way she did. You were silent, you just looked ahead with bloodied hands. He glanced down at your lap and reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out a flask and a few clothes. He sat the cloth on his thigh and opened the flask. He looked at the alcohol-filled container and thought, what the heck. He took a quick swig before setting it in the cup holder.

“What is wrong with you?�� He sighed, putting the cloth under your clenched bloody hands that were covered with a bit of dirt. “Open your hands...” 

You hesitated but opened them slowly anyway, and he immediately began pouring the searingly harsh liquid on your ruined flesh. “Agh!-...” Instinctively, your foot slammed down on the floor and your mouth parted in a silent scream. Now your hands were really shaking uncontrollably and you broke out into a light sweat. In an effort to put a stop to your cries, you bit down on your bottom lip, drawing blood in your wake.

“You decided to leave a perfectly functional vehicle,” He continued to pour the liquid and dab at it with the cloth he sat on his thigh. “Instead of trying to drive away, you decided to run away, on foot...” He reached into the glove compartment again, grabbing gauze and bandages. 

“Were you even trying to run away? Or—?” You still didn’t answer. That was it, he dropped the gauze and bandage in your lap, hinting that you’d have to bandage yourself, and so you did. He wasn’t about to baby someone who refuses to actually acknowledge that he is speaking to them.

“You’re seriously giving me the silent treatment? Like a fucking 5-year-old...”

You cut your eyes to him and frowned, that was your petty answer...

“Huh...What is with you Kim’s?” He let out an exaggerated sigh of annoyance. “Jin is sneaking around, making plans, calling shots, like I don’t know. “ He hit the steering wheel and laughed in disbelief. 

“I know! It’s not like I’m blind, I see the shit he tries to do. You’re probably thinking, ‘If you know all that, why don’t you do something about it? Why haven’t you cut him off?’ Trust me, I’ve thought about it. But every time I get to my limit, I just can’t do it. This has gotten way out of hand and it’s partly my fault for not cutting him off from the beginning.” His eyes drifted down to the ashtray and up to the car ahead of him at the stop light.

Your thought wandered back to when the neon lights from the convenience store and bars on the strip to the left of the car shined on his face and caught your attention. Something about him looked desolate and cold—his pale skin and prominent contrasting locks only further peeked your intrigue. But you were pulled from your thoughts and looked around, you were still in the car in the lot.

“And y/n..” He spoke as if to narrate for himself. “Suddenly, everything revolves around you.” He didn’t look at you when he said that but he knew it would get a reaction out of you. “And for the life of me, I can’t remember why I let this happen. I wish I never would’ve found out you existed. Life would look a lot different right now...”

You muttered lowly, attempting to bandage your hand without hurting you any more than you already were. You hissed, flinching from just flexing your fingers, why is this so difficult? If Jungkook were here he would’ve pulled over and bandaged it himself. He’d even leave time to talk to you in the sweetest tone. He smothered you and you loved it. Nobody is gonna do that for you here, and frankly, if it’s not Jungkook, you don’t want even want it. 

“Agh!- Ugh! Stupid...” You threw it to the floor and left your hands sensitive to touch and sore. This is what it has come to, you slumped against the car door throwing an attitude like a problematic lunatic.

“Where were you trying to go?” The car would remain locked and parked in the parking garage until you responded. “And don’t give me that silent treatment shit.”

“I don’t know, okay!? Stop asking because I don’t know...” He stared at you with almost half-lidded eyes, this was the reaction he’s been trying to ween out of you.

“I don’t know...This isn’t my fault. I can’t even trust my own brother. Who am I supposed to trust? You? I don’t know you, and you didn’t even know I existed until all of this started. I’m tired of all of this, I don’t know what to say or how to feel...” 

“You’re scared, that’s obvious, but your solution to fear is like most of the world, to run from it.” You slowly looked over at him and his head hung low and he licked his suddenly dry lips. He grabbed the gauze and bandages out of your lap, he quickly wrapped your hand and threw the leftover bandages in the back seat. 

“You don’t know me...” How dare he even insinuates that he would know anything about you.

“Like hell I don’t.” He couldn’t take your back talk anymore. “Do you even know what’s happening? What situation you’re in? I know everything about you Y/f/n, everything I want to know at least. Are you trying to be a nuisance-” 

“Min.” Seo walked out of the back door of his home to see Young and you arguing and he mistakenly interrupted your scolding. 

“What?” Yoongi looked at him with a cold stare.

The middle-aged man without dark brown hair and glasses looked at you shortly than back to Yoongi. “We just got a call, Jeon just escaped the hospital.”

“Are you serious?” Seo nodded.

You smiled, whispering that to yourself. “Yes...”

Yoongi leered at you. You didn’t say a thing and Seo looked at you oddly, he wondered—why do you care about Jungkook? Who are you?

“We’re going back to the compound. If I get anything less than silence from you, I’ll do to you what I do to most of the people who decide to act crazy with me.” That was harsh but’s it sure did shut me up—the more you tick him off the more you can see, he’s got malo in him.

One mission, get Jungkook. 

The objective: Don’t get caught. 

Easy enough.

When he saw the sign he was sure he was at the right hospital, it was 5 blocks down from the accident. Taehyung is skilled in many things and one of those things is getting in fast, and getting out fast. This institute is crawling with security, patients, nurses, doctors... How was he supposed to blend in?-

“Dr. Kumar is on the second floor in the podiatrists center.” The women at the front desk were to thank for this marvelous idea.

All he needs is the right outfit and a clipboard, and nobody will suspect a thing. He watched a few of the staff getting off their shifts and heading to a parking garage—there has to be an office with extra clothes. Tae had absolutely no hesitance, he knew what he was doing and how to do it. He made it to the hospital through a back entrance that read ‘do not enter’. Little did he know, that path leads him right to the janitor and coat closet. He went inside the closet and found a coat as well as some glasses, fortunately, they weren’t prescribed so he could see perfectly. On the top shelf there were a few sets of scrubs, he plundered through the stack until he found the right size. 

“I hope this works...” He’s pretended to be many things and the list could go on—now he can check doctor off that list. 

He walked out of the closet and down the hall, searching for the elevator or the stairs. He found that the staircase he used lead him to the trauma center, he needs to get to the emergency center.

“The patient was stabbed multiple times in the lower intestines with a screwdriver, where is Dr. Odom? This man needs surgery now.” That sentence would make an average person sick to their stomach but he looked with curiosity. The nurse relaying the message tried her best to remain calm but the patient was right there, bleeding despite the pressure being applied by the slightly frantic nurse assistant, the paramedics were still bringing people in—Tae was thinking he probably knew the people who did this. 

“He’s in surgery right now, all of the surgeons are, except one, she’s coming down now.” The desk lady reassured and then glanced at Tae.

“In the meantime, disinfect the area and leave the screw in, it looks like it’s close to the liver, he could bleed out and die instantly. I’ve seen incidents like this, that screw is covered in bacteria. When it’s out and the wound is cauterized infection is a definite risk. He’ll need antibiotics.” Tae walked closer and the man was breathing shallow, they were running out of time. “That surgeon needs to get down here before you have a dead man in your lobby, and I can’t call time of death. I’m a resident Doctor.” He looked up and they were all taken aback by the strikingly handsome man. But they all slowly nodded, taking the Doctors orders like they normally would.

“O-okay-”

“Take him to operation room 9, I’ll get suited up now.” There she was, the man will live. Without a second thought, the team in front of him ran the man out of sight. Taehyung couldn’t help but smile.

“Um, excuse me, are you Dr. Kim? The guest Doctor? I thought you weren’t coming until the morning.” Her eyes sparkled in amazement and she couldn’t hide the grin on her face—she knew they said he was fine but not this fine.

“Oh, yes, I had a change of schedule.” He smirked. “Well, I have to get going. Have a good evening, Miss.” That’s all he said before continuing his journey to the emergency room, that he didn’t even know where it was located. Ah ha, There it is. There were a few signs that said emergency center or department, Jungkook is in there.

He walked down the hall, seeing clipboards in front of several rooms but none said Jeon Jungkook—he must be on the second floor then. He passed a few nurses and techs that didn’t pay him much attention and that’s when he saw Jungkooks room. There was a doctor writing down something and he realized he needed a clearance badge.

There’s a doctor and she has a badge, he thought. 

“Dr. Go, how are you?”

She was taken aback when she saw the man but she smiled warmly nonetheless. “Oh, hello Dr.—?”

“Kim, Dr. Kim.” She didn’t even notice but he unclipped the pass right from her coat and he just smiled.

“I'm well, thanks for asking.” She had never seen him before so she assumed he was new, she could get used to seeing a face like that. 

“Don't work too hard.” He waved goodbye, he’s fooled yet another person. He took off his glasses and slid them into his coat pocket, without so much as a knock he quickly opened the door and closed it as soon as he got in. 

“Hyung-...” He paused. “What’s with the Doctor get up?” Jungkook spoke from his seat near the window.

“It’s your ticket out of here, and I just helped save a life with this on.” That boxy smile had brought a glimmer of hope to Jungkooks eyes, he got up and hugged Tae for a good few seconds—it was nice to have his brother back.

“I’m so sick of being here...How are we gonna get out of here without getting caught? They all know I’m on hospital arrest...” 

“Get these clothes on and you’ll see,” Tae said on the extra bed and Jungkook grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom. He was so glad to be out of that stupid hospital outfit and into his own. He winced when he moved his shoulder back too far—he forgot about that injury, he had more important things to think about. But instead of his lovely jeans, T-shirt and leather boots, he’s wearing a pair of scrubs.

“Okay,” He fluffed his hair with his hands, he noticed how bad it looked in the mirror, “what’s the plan?”

He grinned at Jungkooks baffled expression. “Just follow my lead.”

“What kind of plan is that?”

“Just trust me, okay..” Tae got up and stretched before letting out a very deep sigh. “Act natural...” 

Tae slipped the glasses back on and opened the door, Jungkook made sure to grab his phone before following him. It was like a breath of fresh air to be out of that room, the bright hospital hallway lights woke him up.

“So, let’s pretend we’re talking the medical talk, we need to look believable.” He mumbled, popping the collar of his coat before walking swiftly down the hall.

“Okay,” Jungkook skillfully avoided looking anyone in the eye, “where have you been?”

“Just out, just thinking...But that doesn’t matter, let’s talk about you. What do they have you charged for?” 

“Stolen car, possession of a gun, among other things. They wanted to investigate me in the morning...” Jungkook glanced at a nurse who seemed to let her eyes linger on him longer than he was comfortable with. She wasn’t either confused into why a nurse and doctor were here without proper introduction or she was just innocently looking, he didn’t like it either way. “And Junghyun slithered into here...”

His head cocked to the side in incredulity, he hasn’t heard that name uttered from Jungkook’s lips in years. “Your brother?” 

“If that’s what you want to call him...He decided to crawl back into my life and bring up shit that I don’t want to talk about or remember, I don’t know what he wants but I’m sure I haven’t heard the last from him...” 

“That’s interesting...” Taehyung couldn’t help but wonder if Junghyun had any involvement in this whole mess. As he continues to listen to Jungkook he noticed the nurse in the same lobby he entered. It’d look odd if a supposed Doctor just got up and walked out the front entrance of the hospital, he had to give an explanation or find another exit. Unfortunately, she caught his gaze before he could decide what he wanted to do.

His eyes fell to her chest to read her tag for a split second. “Mira, I’m going out on break, I can’t do the cafeteria food today.” He chuckled and Jungkook just tight lip grinned and nodded like a cute little puppy.

“Oh,” She tilted her head in suspicion, she couldn’t remember if she’s ever seen this man before, and he just casually addressed her like she was supposed to know him. She cleared her throat momentarily. “Okay.” She just went along with it, she didn’t want to make a fool of herself if he really was the doctor and she didn’t catch it.

Through the sliding glass doors and off to the car.

“That was close, she looked like she was on to us for a second there...” Jungkook muttered, speed walking to get to the back of the hospital where Tae had parked.

“Huh...” He let out an exasperated sigh to relieve the tightness in his chest. He was brought to the realization that he wasn’t in that stuffy hospital bed anymore, he could breathe. 

“I brought your clothes, you can get back there and change.” Jungkook jumped into the back seat, not paying any mind to the pain he was feeling, he wasn’t just glad to be with his brother, his real brother.

“I can’t even think straight right now...” He mumbled, pulling off his shirt and pants, he put on his old familiar T-shirt and distressed denim jeans, and a pair of sneakers, his favorite sneakers to be precise. “How did you bypass the surveillance cameras? They’re all over the place...”

“I shut the power off in a few of the departments, there’s no way they could have caught us on film. You don’t sound so good Kookie, you okay?” Taehyung looked at him with a concerned expression.

“I’m fine, just tired...ready to go home,” He hummed in agreement, normally he’d be 24-hour energy but right now, all he wanted to do was sit in the silence and breathe. He was surviving but that was really an understatement, he wasn’t fine, his whole world was crashing on top of him and he didn’t know how to feel. 

The safe house was originally meant force relatives of there is but since no one ever used it so Namjoon decided to make it a bit more functional for his needs.  It was a small looking house right at the lake since it was out in the middle of nowhere, it took a while to get here.

Jungkook groggily got out of the car and shut the door, he blinked continuously, attempting to shake the sleepiness from his eyes. The light in the downstairs area was on and Taehyung ran up to the door to unlock it with the spare key. “I don’t think he’s here...” He commented before pushing the door open to the dimly lit mud room. The entryway keep them to the center of the home, there wasn’t much there but a couch, coffee table, and a few miscellaneous items.

Jungkook looked around—Namjoon must’ve run out and left the light on by accident. That’s probably why there was a light on in the back room, or someone was back there, there was only one way to find out.

“Hey.” Jungkook’s attention went straight to the voice coming from the walkway leading to that room, he tensed but soon relaxed. It was one of Namjoons assistant sellers, Jae. “The boss said he was at the base earlier and I’m not sure when he said he’d be back but he told me to check up on all of the safe houses.” He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and took the keys from the counter. Jungkook looked blankly at him before furrowing his brows in confusion. Jae. The same Jae who kept looking at you in Japan—he had nothing against the man but that small incident left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Well, I’ll see you guys later.” He began to make his way out before Taehyung spoke up.

“Wait, where is everybody?” Tae questioned, pulling off his white coat and tossing it on the couch. “Is everyone just fending for themselves or what? I haven’t been contacted by anyone but Hyung.”

“Kind of,” He glanced at Jungkook who was giving him a weird look for some reason, “we’re all spread out in the other safe houses and some of us are still in the city, everything is scattered right now. The boss instructed that we lay low until he says otherwise, so that’s what we’re doing.” Jae left through the back door.

They really didn’t take a major hit from the fight but when the headquarters was destroyed, they were thrown a curveball—Namjoon didn’t know where to turn. He had a number of issues to worry about, Jungkook was under arrest at the hospital. He didn’t want any of his men involved with the law, especially not Jungkook. As far as the law and the government goes, it was Yoongi’s terrain. If he makes one wrong move, it’ll mean hundreds of lives on the line—no pressure.

“Ah, I’m starving, you?”

“Yeah...” Jungkook scratched the back of his neck and started walking towards the staircase.

“I know you probably didn’t eat any hospital food so I’ll get a pizza from down the road.” Taehyung went out the front door, leaving in the house by himself. "I'll be back.”

When Taehyung shut the door Jungkook decided to go upstairs and go straight to the shower. The scrubs he was wearing were starting to feel like restraints, he needed a nice hot shower to help wash away the hospital feeling and calm his mind.

How many showers does it take to forget about the person you love? 

He’ll never know, if you love someone they’ll always be on your mind—you were living proof of that. He squeezed a dollop of shampoo into his hand and massaged it into his hair and scalp, his hair needed it. He lathered it into his dark locks, bringing a nice relief to his untouched scalp. The hot water droplets washed the foamy suds out. For a while, he let the water rain down on him to no avail. If you were to look at him now, you’d know he was feeling a range of emotions—confusion, hopelessness, resentment, and it was really heavy on his heart. Jungkook knew who he loved and he knew who loved him, but the people he loved were all on opposite sides now, everyone was scattered. “Agh...” He sighed, stepping out of the shower with a hand pressing against his wound to keep front further irritation. How was he supposed to tend to his wounds with a half sprained wrist? He’ll figure it out later. As he towel dried his hair he went to look for a spare shirt and sweatpants, he was thinking while he changed.

Showering together was one thing you wouldn’t allow, and that fact made him realize how different you were from the women he met in transit while on the job. He naturally saw you as fairly innocent but at the same time, he expected you to be familiar with his lifestyle. You, the ideal A, B student, on her way to getting her colleges diploma and working a steady well paying job. You told him that you even volunteered at the preschool he used to go to, that place was still open. You could cook pretty well, at least that’s what you tell him, he’s never tried it before but he sure would love to right now.

And then there was Jungkook. The late nights that turned into early mornings, the crime, violence, the reckless situations and wild men and women. His lifestyle wasn’t even that bad, he knows people whose lives are spiraling out of control in comparison to his. Either way, you two were just as opposite as you were the same and it was perplexing but that's what made it so perfect. You were soulmates, your DNA was constructed in such a way that your paths were meant to cross. Is this the love he’s heard about? Because from the very beginning, his heart only beats for you. 

—

“Yeah, there are fifteen in total. Bring them before noon tomorrow.” Namjoon got off the phone with his supplier and he had to have been on the phone the whole ride here. His suppliers, his buyers, the organization itself was anything but organized at the moment. 

“Tae’s here?” He saw Taehyung’s car in the driveway and he was suddenly relieved, he’s here. He hoped he could’ve to fill Taehyung in on the current situation and discuss a plan. He got out of the car and made his way up, he unlocked the front door and walked right inside.

“Taehyung?” Namjoon got no response, he had his hand on his gun, just in case. He took long strides towards the living room where he heard the television, if that wasn’t Taehyung then he would be very surprised.

“He went out...” Jungkook mumbled from the couch, his eyes lit up.

Jungkook.

“Jungkook? How did you get here?” Namjoon couldn’t help the bright smile that came to his lips, he sat the bag on the center table and sat right beside the rough looking kid, he looked like a wreck but he was alive. “You don’t how hard it was not to walk up there and discharge you- Wait. How did you get out of the hospital? And when?” 

“Tae came and got me, I don’t want to go into details but I might be wanted soon, but I don’t know or care.” Jungkook smiled at that and sat up a bit. “Hyung, I’m just glad I’m out of that hell hole. Man, there’s so much I need to tell you and ask you. Out of sheer coincidence, Junghyun is the president of the hospital I was at and the bastard is on to me. I don’t how or why but he went on about our past and our parents...I don’t know if he feels guilt or what but I want him out of my life.”

“That doesn’t add up, what would he want from you?...” Namjoon tilted his head in thought. “I wonder if that has anything to do with Jin, it probably does.” He swore anything that went wrong had some relation to Jin.

“Maybe...” By the way, his expression went day-dreamy, he could tell Jungkook’s mind was elsewhere. “Hyung, I’ve been in the hospital for days now, has anything changed with Y/n, is she still with them?” Jungkook hoped not but he was probably wrong. “I can’t stop worrying about her...”

“I assume so, she’s his sister so I’m sure he didn’t go through all of this trouble just to send her off somewhere. And Jungkook, you know I can’t keep checking on her when I have an organization to lead, Y/n is fine.” Namjoon went to the kitchen to get a beer. “Besides, our main focus is to expose Jin and we have just the material to do it.” He snickered. “We just need to find the best time to do it.”

“But we need to get her back, like now.” Jungkook wasn’t hearing him. “She doesn’t want to be with them, I don’t care how related they are, they aren’t even full siblings. She told me they weren’t that close-”

“Hey,” Tae walked in with a pizza and saw Namjoon from there, “hyung...”

“Kim Taehyung, if anyone would be able to get him out clean it would be you.” He walked over into the living room and took a seat. “Good work.”

“It was no problem really. A doctor coat and some scrubs will get you far in the hospital.” He smiled setting the box of pizza on the center table for all of them to share. “It was actually an easy escape, I wasn’t recognized and neither was Jungkook.” Tae sat in the recliner and relaxed. “All I had to do was find the right time.”

“Good, I’m glad you guys are here. Look,” He pulled a paper out of the busted briefcase, the same one Jungkook threw at him that one time.

“Remember the four-digit number in the briefcase?” Jungkook nodded and Taehyung as well. “Well, I was doing some research and I found out that that’s not an address or date, it’s a ledger. An order for firearms. And I can tell you right now that it was Kim fucking Seokjin. Think about it, all of the explosions, the sudden even playing field, it had to be him...” Namjoon gritted his teeth. They were all eating, and they could’ve sworn Jungkook inhaled that whole half pizza. 

“Boys, we have quite the predicament on our hands, Jin seems to be getting one over on Yoongi but I don’t think that’ll last long, not with the information I have on him.” He smirked. “You know what I find really funny? Y/n was once a peace treaty between us, but now she’s stuck in the crossfire. How’s that feel Kookie?” He smirked at the thought. 

“Hyung, you don’t know how it feels...” Jungkook uttered lowly. “I’m going to die if I can’t see her again...” His sudden confession had both Namjoon and Tae at a loss for words—he was dead serious. “Before they took her I told her that I loved her and I'll protect her. I love her...I love her so much and now she’s gone.” He choked, gritting his teeth. “I’m fucking mad at myself for even letting this happen...I swear, I’ve never wanted to kill Jin for anything more in my life. He’s brainwashing her probably, then again she never told me about him being her brother.” Jungkook lost his train of thought. 

“Why are our lives so difficult?” He grits his teeth, staring at the flickering television screen blankly. “10 months ago I didn’t have to worry about anyone but myself and you guys.” His gaze went to Tae and a bit of water welled in his eyes before he diverted his eyes elsewhere. “Now I can’t stop thinking about her, no matter what I do my thoughts go straight back to her...”

Taehyung tilted his head, seeing that Jungkook was too upset to continue talking.

“If we were all drowning who would you dive in to save, Jungkook? Me,” He pointed to himself. “Or her?” Tae said suddenly. 

Jungkook’s lips parted as if to say something but he couldn’t, what kind of question is that? Taehyung was asking him to choose between his brothers, the people who raised him and protected him ever since he was a kid; and you. He was shocked, to say the least, he’s always assumed he could have both. Is it really not that simple?

“W- What kind of question is that?” 

“The kind you need to ask when your decisions mean life or death...” Tae was right—Jungkooks choices affect everyone and he needs to be aware of that. Namjoon makes decisions that can mean someone’s life almost every day and the consequences of his decisions can ultimately mean a life—He knows that first hand. “It’s just something to think about.”

“You know what...” Jungkook stood, rubbing the bandages on his stomach as a reminder of his physical ailments. “I need to get some sleep.” Jungkook wished not to be conscious any longer, he’s lovesick and too tired to think straight. “I feel like crap, I just want to go to sleep, do you mind if I catch up later?” 

“Nah, go ahead you need your rest, we all do. Goodnight.” Namjoon let him go and he glanced at Tae, what urged humble to ask that question.

“Goodnight...” Namjoon watched Jungkook go to the room upstairs and close the door, the kid was exhausted and he couldn’t blame him. 

Namjoon stood up and stretched his aching bones.“Well, we should get some sleep too.”  He walked over to the recycling to throw out his empty beer bottle when he felt a tight grip on his forearm, it was Taehyung. “The hell are you doing?” Namjoon questioned as he still wore a calm expression.

“I want to talk first thing in the morning, hyung.” Taehyung once childlike eyes morphed into much darker and ominous ones —Namjoon returned his gaze with a look of confusion. “Or I swear I’ll murder you in your sleep.” Taehyung frowned before walking off to his room, someone’s a little grumpy, Namjoon thought. Taehyung would never get that serious with him unless he had to be. Even in the high position he’s in now, he had to admit, Tae could be a little scary. Sometimes he was unpredictable and unhinged, he could become a completely different person in the blink of an eye. That’s good ole Kim Taehyung for you. Soon they all went to one of the multiple bedrooms and Namjoon chuckled with a sly smirk as he turned off the lamp.

They’re back.

#bts mafia #bts mafia au #bts mafia smut #bts mafia angst #bts mafia fluff #jungkook mafia #jungkook mafia angst #yoongi mafia #Jungkook #yoongi #bts #hoseok #namjoon #jimin #taehyung #jin #seokjin #v #suga #suga mafia #jhope #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut #I know I said it would be out a few hours ago but oops #It’s a long read #it burns doesn't it #YESS IT DOES #omaguadd #it is finished

[firstcorinthians-elevenfifteen]

Joseph.

I was reading Genesis 37 today in the message version and the story of Joseph leaves me in awe.

Im sure y’all know the story of Joseph but a small refresher..

Joseph had all these dreams that he was gonna rule over his family but he just couldn’t close his mouth. He haaaad to tell his half brothers and becuase of that, his dad rebuked him. But take heed, he continued to tell his dad and brothers of his dream which showed him ruling over them. Because of that; jealousy brewed and his brothers ultimately faked his death and sold him as a slave without his father’s knowing.

The first thing I learned from this portion of scripture was how God can use our mistakes. I mean just from reading the story, you almost wanna slap Joseph, cos if he just kept his mouth shut...he could have played happy families until God finally promoted him. But he opened his mouth (way toooooo prematurely)! And because of that he was about to become a slave!! the complete opposite of what God promised. Imagine how Joseph felt as he was being sold? If it was me? I mean...What dream? My faith would have died. What God? What plan? God and I would be done (even though it was my fault for opening my mouth!).

But God.

With God there’s hope. Always. No matter what.

No matter how many mistakes you’ve made - God will never leave you and because God himself is with you, you have everything you need for a breakthrough! Just keep trusting Him and seeking Him.

Genesis 39:2-6 (MSG)

“As it turned out, GOD was with Joseph and things went very well with him. He ended up living in the home of his Egyptian master. His master recognized that GOD was with him, saw that GOD was working for good in everything he did. He became very fond of Joseph and made him his personal aide. He put him in charge of all his personal affairs, turning everything over to him. From that moment on, GOD blessed the home of the Egyptian—all because of Joseph. The blessing of GOD spread over everything he owned, at home and in the fields, and all Potiphar had to concern himself with was eating three meals a day.”

Meanwhile trouble was brewing!

The witch. Potiphar’s wife saw Joseph was handsome! She tried to sleep with him - several times!

The second lesson I learned in reading this story was around temptation and slander. Joseph ultimately made a mistake, and because of that he ended up a slave. Now, unbeknown to him, God was working this out for his gooooooood! I mean his goooood! He would be second in charge of the WHOLE nation!! But still, he had no clue and had every reason to think God had forgotten him. Like I said before, I would have.

Even still, when the witch Potiphar’s wife came to tempt him, he declined. See me? I would have said welp! God has left me, I might as well. How much more harm can it do? But Joseph had integrity. He acted like a man of faith, even when perhaps his faith was finishing. His character remained upright, and you can kinda see why God would promote a man like that. Lets av a lil read:

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭39:8-9‬ ‭(MSG)

“He wouldn’t do it. He said to his master’s wife, “Look, with me here, my master doesn’t give a second thought to anything that goes on here—he’s put me in charge of everything he owns. He treats me as an equal. The only thing he hasn’t turned over to me is you. You’re his wife, after all! How could I violate his trust and sin against God?”‬‬

Man like Joseph!! He had every right to forget God cos he may have felt like God had forgotten him, but he remained faithful to God regardless!

Your attitude when you have nothing is everything.

What you do when men accuse you and slander you is everything.

What you do in private, not public, is everything.

How you react to temptation when no man is looking is everything!!

Why? Because God sees everything and He judges all. The bible even says God looks at what you do privately and will reward you for it openly.

Genesis 39:10 (MSG)

“She pestered him day after day after day, but he stood his ground. He refused to go to bed with her.”

The witch wouldn’t stop! And sometimes that’s how Satan is when we feel low and depressed. He will not stop throwing rocks at you until you fall. But your reaction, your stance, your attitude, your faith is everything. ‬‬

Let’s continue reading:

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭39:11-23‬ ‭(MSG‬‬)

“On one of these days he came to the house to do his work and none of the household servants happened to be there. She grabbed him by his cloak, saying, “Sleep with me!” He left his coat in her hand and ran out of the house. When she realized that he had left his coat in her hand and run outside, she called to her house servants: “Look—this Hebrew shows up and before you know it he’s trying to seduce us. He tried to make love to me but I yelled as loud as I could. With all my yelling and screaming, he left his coat beside me here and ran outside.”

She kept his coat right there until his master came home. She told him the same story. She said, “The Hebrew slave, the one you brought to us, came after me and tried to use me for his plaything. When I yelled and screamed, he left his coat with me and ran outside.”

When his master heard his wife’s story, telling him, “These are the things your slave did to me,” he was furious. Joseph’s master took him and threw him into the jail where the king’s prisoners were locked up. But there in jail GOD was still with Joseph: He reached out in kindness to him; he put him on good terms with the head jailer. The head jailer put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners—he ended up managing the whole operation. The head jailer gave Joseph free rein, never even checked on him, because GOD was with him; whatever he did GOD made sure it worked out for the best.”

So Joseph’s position was now even lower than before. Is that even possible? He stood firm in his faith, was honourable, refused temptation but went from slave to prisoner. How sway? 🥴. But still, the bible reminds us that God was with him. And God would ensure that it would all work out for his good! How encouraging!

To summarise Genesis 40, Two of the Kings officials were thrown into prison, one morning they woke up confused cos they had weird dreams, Joseph asked them what happened in the dreams and he then interpreted the dreams for the officials.

In Genesis 41, the opening sentence of the message version is: “two years passed.” ......Sorry!? .....Ya mean God left Joseph in that dutty prison for two years? My faith would have been REALLY gone. But STILL Joseph’s character never changed. Still upright, still fleeing temptation, still faithful to His God. Still humble.

Pharaoh had a series of dreams and the two officials in prison remembered how accurate Joseph’s interpretations were. They called him in front of Pharaoh and he interpreted all the dreams perfectly! As a result, Pharaoh took him and made him second in charge of all the land.

Look at God. The message version says that Joseph was 30 when these things came to pass, yet he was seventeen when he began having these dreams.

I believe that whilst Joseph made a couple mistakes, God truly used these mistakes to humble him, position him, develop and test his character, so that when he was promoted, he truly was the man “fit for the job” like Pharaoh declared him to be.

Imagine if everything was well with Joseph from day one. No prison. No temptation. No mistakes. I doubt that character would have been seen. There would have been no way for God to show his glory.

The last lesson I learned was about forgiveness.

When Joseph was reunited with his brothers, everything he dreamed had come to pass. He had every right to be smug, to be mean, to be unforgiving, to remain bitter and resentful, I would. But he didn’t.

He blessed them. He helped them. He cried for them. He missed them. He forgave them and I think he did in his heart way before he saw them.

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭45:4-8‬ ‭(MSG)

“Come closer to me,” Joseph said to his brothers. They came closer. “I am Joseph your brother whom you sold into Egypt. But don’t feel badly, don’t blame yourselves for selling me. God was behind it. God sent me here ahead of you to save lives. There has been a famine in the land now for two years; the famine will continue for five more years—neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me on ahead to pave the way and make sure there was a remnant in the land, to save your lives in an amazing act of deliverance. So you see, it wasn’t you who sent me here but God. He set me in place as a father to Pharaoh, put me in charge of his personal affairs, and made me ruler of all Egypt.”‬

He didn’t get even, instead, he blessed his entire family with substance. He used his position to help them. He didn’t hold their sins against them. He moved in love.

I learned so much! Your attitude, your faith, your character and your actions in the season where you feel like both God and man have left you is everything. Remain faithful to God. He will see your heart n actions privately and will reward you for it openly.

- m x

#joseph #sin #mistakes #jesus #agape #truth #faith #christ #chrstianity #bible #scripture #teaching #hope #failure #god #holyspirit #help #light #mistake #doubt #fear #life #death #prison #captive #salvation #mercy #exciting #loneliness #alone

[lady-nevermore]

Third Session

June 5, 2017

Yesterday I:

5AM - Went to Church with my mom (been finding it really relaxing and peaceful actually).

8 AM - Accompanied and Went with my folks on running their errands.

12/ Noon - Went to the Flea Market (haven’t been in lke forever, saw a bunch of cool stuff like always) and at the behest of my parents, whom also decided to give this a go, got a message......I actually feel like it loosened me up a bit....feel a lot more: sensitive/tender around my shoulder area/neck...at least i don’t feel those damn kinks anymore....but  idunno if i like feeling this tender/sensitive/vulnerable around there. >_>;

1-5 PM - Went the Grocery Store and spent the last remaining hours looking for that dratted, evasive gift-bag (more details below in a sec). >_<;

6-7 PM Ate Dinner, and Took a shower.

8-9 PM - Went to bed, and actually slept well. 

Today I:

- 6:45 AM: Went with my mom, for the third/fourth time this week, walking around our local Half Library/Half Duck Pond (powered-walked for an hour and saw a bunch of the local wildlife: Squirrels, ducks, geese, robin-birds, crows, etc). It’s always very nice and soothing to see, not to mention it makes me smile. :)

- 7:00-11:00 AM: Did some housework, laundry, made and prepared dinner for tonight as well as for the following days, and tried to fix my TV (sorta worked....still pending....we’ll see). 

12/Noon Ate Lunch (made myself a small Tuna Salad with cucumbers, and spinach, with a side of baby carrots, a couple of pieces of store-bought Sushi, and a granola bar); it was really nice actually. :)

1-4 PM Tried to take my mind off my nerves/anxiety a bit, managed to listen to music, and read a bit before mentally preparing myself for My Therapy appointment at 5 PM.

6-7 PM: Ate a healthy dinner and afterwards have been writing this therapy blog up till now......Looking at the clock: it’s 9PM *sigh*  -___-;

9 PM - Gonna get off tumblr, take a shower and head to bed (whilst reading a fanfic); G’night y’all *yawn*

So yeah, Today and Yesterday have been semi-stressful (a little bit hectic) to say the least; Y’all remember my ‘Aunt C aka The Poor Excuse of an Aunt who emotionally traumatized/abused me when I was 5, well her daughter let’s call her “Jay” has a Graduation this upcoming Friday....Ironically enough, Jay is graduating from my old alma-mater/my old high school: AHS High.....I’m not that close to Jay for obvious reasons (I’ve sorta sub consciously stayed away/distanced myself away from them in order to avoid Aunt C.....but then again I rarely like to spend time with or at family reunions, nowadays anyways). >_>;

But that’s beside the point; I’m proud of my younger cousin, proud and happy for her: she’s an AP student, got a full scholarship to UC Davis (aka the College I’ve always dreamed of going as well as the same old alma-mater of my Old Mentor/Friend who passed away but meant a great great deal to me to the point where he left his mark/imparted his memory onto me), and who is so amazingly ambitious that my dear cousin jay dreams of becoming a Doctor. This is why I’m soo damn proud of her (tho a selfishly part of me does feel a twinge of jealousy/envy....but my happiness/pride of her is far greater), She’s probably going to be one of the few in our family who might actually achieve graduating from a legit University, and effing applaud her for that. I mean I know that we may not be close (nor do I know If I would ever want to be, considering her connection to my abuser aka my Aunt C/her mother)....But despite that, it is in my nature to try to look past that and kindly offer a gesture of happiness in congratulating her, cause I am honestly quite proud of her. :)

....Which is why I decided to impart to her what my old mentor/friend imparted onto me when I graduated from AHS High: A nice couple of (and by couple I mean 2) boxes of Tea, specifically Vanilla Chai Tea and Earl Grey ; My Mentor, let’s call him Obi-Wan (cause he was a huge die-hard fan of Star Wars), well Obi-Wan always said that Tea helped him to relax, and I wholly agree with him in this statement, it’s been around 9 years since he introduced me to the Wonders and Joy that is Tea (and 8 years since he passed away from Colon Cancer), but it’s something that I feel will always connect me to him, and in turn is my own personal means of honoring his memory.

So, I hope that my little gift/gesture to Jay (isn’t too cheap/offensive in her eyes or my Aunt C’s in that matter) and that it will help her to relax throughout her fun, but what I’m sure will be quite the stressful venture that is College/University (I dropped out, something I’m ashamed of, so I can’t talk or say much on the matter, but I do hope it’ll help Jay in the long run). I say this in all seriousness, because I ended up having a nervous-breakdown by taking waaaaay too many college-courses/classes (around 5-6 tops) what with my mentor/friend passing away, plus me struggling depression, pushing my friends outta of my life/cutting them off, as well as struggling with said classes and me being sleep-deprived on top of that didn’t help....it was just too damn much and now here I am now (struggling with anxiety and going to therapy....though my issues have been long since precedent and something that I’ve been dealing far longer) but the point is Jay is a High ranking AP student and off to a legit High Ranking University......that can’t be easy on her poor shoulders the bear, which is why I worry and hope she doesn’t repeat my mistakes........hence a few kind, meaningful, soothing words of wisdom on the graduation card I got for her, as well as the heartwarming gesture of Tea. But yeah, I hope it at the very least make her smile (and think oh, how appropriate, Tea: a nerdy gift from my dorky cousin Lady Nevermore). lol x)

So I told my Therapist that I woke up today feeling melancholic for no apparent reason (or so I thought); But my therapist thinks that I might me projecting my stress/anxiety from Yesterday (when I was trying to find/prepare the perfect gift for me to give Jay for her Graduation) onto today; She’s not wrong ....I was sorta freaking out, yesterday,  that we were never going to find the perfect gift-bag for the occasion (not to mention that my indecisiveness/pickiness didn't help)...most of the gift-bags were either too tacky or not appropriate (birthday gift bags for example)....but in the end I got lucky and found the perfect one, yay! :D

So yeah, I talked to my therapist about my anxiety/fear that Jay ro my Aunt C will find my gift cheap/offensive and or worse, she’ll want to start to get close to me (and considering her connection to my abuser, having my Aunt Cas her mother)......yeah that’s not something I’m at all entirely comfortable with, like at all. :/

We talked a little bit about my Mentor/Old Friend, Obi-Wan and how his passing/death affected me aka via anxiety-terror filled nightmares, etc (but I don’t really wanna get into that atm, maybe later or some other time). We discussed how my therapist is glad that I’m continuing to go outside (going to church, walking around the library-duck pond area, and going to stores or to the grocery store with my folks; it’s been three weeks more or less of this now without me feeling too overwhelmed)

2nd Piece of Homework: Note to Self: Notice and become Aware of what triggers my depression or anxiety during stressful/anxiety-filled situation and write it down (this way we can start identifying what triggers my anxiety/depression and what me and my therapist can start to work on).

****Pretty sure I forgot a lot of other stuff, and I will probably try to add more to this later or post another one of these the following weeks, but for now this’ll have to do.

Just got back from therapy (around 6 pm-ish and it took me a while to eat dinner, not to mention get on tumblr and organize my thoughts in order to write this blog) and I’m Feeling sorta tired/drained/low-key sorta cranky and i really really really just wanna go shower and go to bed right now (and recharge); sucks cause I really wanted to start pick up where the anime in Bleach left off, and start reading the manga (Bleach) and / or watch one of the bleach movies....or another Ghibli film.....or hell, at the very least cruise on tumblr (reblogging, chatting, etc) for a bit. *sigh* Ah well, maybe tomorrow. -____-;

Welp, Later, and Good Night my dears! *hugs* :)

- Lady Nevermore

#therapy blog #therapy #Third Session #anxiety #melancholy #meh #personal

[alxxkim]

December 2

I’m currently listening to Overwhelming while eating candy corn Jin got me for my bday (so its been a month and yet) and I feel like I have a lot to say that I don’t have someone to tell to all in one sitting so here it goes. A few weeks ago I decided to stay at Biola for the spring but now I am having second thoughts. I am WAY happier at school away from my family/house and the thought of living at home 24/7 aka how summer was aka hell makes me actually want to kill myself. I really hope that there’s a chance Karina and I both go to Fullerton so we can have a place together.  It sounds so fantastical but also just imagining how amazing my life would be is just all I am looking forward to. I think that I am going to end up enrolling late and not get any classes I want because people have already signed up for classes and most are full lo l but yeah. I am suffering from writer’s block. I tried writing tonight and I actually started crying as I was singing but it just didn’t feel right. I really want to write songs that I can 100% sing-cry to and make it feel so right. I just haven’t found it yet.I wonder how Jon Bellion wrote these songs haha. His lyrics are just so fucking wholesome and relevant to so many aspects of my life. Listening to him tho makes me feel so fucking confused cause the first time I saw him, I was “happy” and brown haired and dating John and the last time I saw him in September I was black haired, single, and broken. I still am those three things. Work has taken over my life again.  I am scheduled Friday-Sunday for the next 2 weeks and as $$ as that made me think I was be, honestly it just doesn’t feel worth it right now. Granted, when I get paid, I will probably feel otherwise.  I’ve been telling myself and others that I am okay with things with John. I honestly can’t fucking tell what I am.  I obviously miss him. I am doing fine without him, I will keep doing fine without him, but I miss having that person. I guess it’s slowly transitioning to the point where you miss the feelings and not the actual person. But just typing that made me realize how false that is. I miss John a lot. He was so funny and caring and loved me so much. I honestly think I can now realize that he loved me just as much as I loved him. And I loved him so fucking much. Just being next to him made everything okay.  The night my mom found an empty cartridge in my room and messaged me about it asking and I thought I was done for, and all I did was just cry, John was just there and as terrified as I was, I was okay because of him.  I think its because its December and the holidays are coming and last winter was probably one of the best parts of my life so far. My 6 week winter break was full of shabu, Fiona, my new polaroid, and just freedom. I was so happy I had Sen Nick and Tyler. I was so happy I had my friends at home. Everything was just so nice. And I had the plan to go to slo with Faith before break ended, and it was just so nice. I miss that feeling of being so excited to see John again. As hard and fucking unfair the distance was being with him obviously made it worth it.  I wish I realized how unhappy John was.  But there’s nothing I could’ve done.  And I need to accept that so that I can stop hating myself for not being better.  Maybe I need to take the next semester off.  Maybe I just need to find new things I could enjoy. I don’t think I want to go to Disneyland next week with my family. My sister isn’t talking to me again. I feel like the family is broken again but its just with me. I’m slowly turning back into the person I was during the summer. There are so many people in my past that I want to rekindle things with and just fucking get a meal to catch up, but I can never do that. I don’t want to talk about John I don’t want to talk about how unhappy and depressed I am.  But I am so tired of pretending like everything is okay. I feel like deleting all social media again. Looking on insta after shifts is just shit because I just feel this urge to fucking post but i have nothing to post because I spent my night inside working. Last night was really fun though. I got off work at around 11 I think and came home and showered and was just going to be on my phone for hours till I was okay enough to sleep. I knew Shin wanted to fuck haha but I told him that I felt like shit so he called me and asked what was up and why I’m depressed.  He actually listened even though I was barely telling him everything because then he would probably think I’m insane if he doesn’t already but yeah he told me to just focus on things I love and that it really helps. It’s so admirable how much he loves working out and playing basketball. But yeah we talked for nearly an hour until he decided to get me and I came outside when he said he was here and as I walked out i noticed he was outside walking to me and he gave me a hug and we drove behind Target and sat there for maybe like 30 min just talking and listening to jbel and the script LOL HE SANG THIS ONE SONG SO FUCKING LOUD he said hes never sung that loudly in front of anyone before hahaha i wish i knew what song it was but i will cause he plays it daily. i just hate asking so im gonna have to snake a peek at his phone the next time it plays. my toes were rlly cold and so he started warming my right foot with his hands and blew air into them a lot haha it was so cute and he gave me a dank ass fucking foot massage holy shit. it hurt like a bitch but in the best way possible. my feet/ankles are always so fucked when i work. so it was especially dank. I also didn’t wear makeup and he said I look better without makeup haha i was like ooooooooooooooooooooook but rlly yeah i was happy he said that especially because I’ve been wearing makeup daily because I just hate myself without it. But that day I had a bare face and actually felt okay. He kissed me and he kept saying how he loves kissing me so much. Omg and we made out to jon b like im sorry but it was fucking amazing. ok we also fucked to him too HAHAHAHA  And then kevin told us to cruise outside cydni’s house cause him paul and esther were smoking so we went and as we pulled up, paul looked at us through his open window and we both laughed in the same explosive way HAHAHAHAH and they told us to shut the fuck up jk they just sushed us ahahahah omfg. it was just too gold. i really don’t want to ever smoke in front of shin again but yeah I couldn’t just say no to weed haha so we hit a piece which burned the shit out of my throat and I was pretty faded I guess and shin kept coughing cause we werent hotboxing the car but it was still potent and i felt bad :( and he was like IS SECONDHAND FADED A THING hahahaha and esther had her juul so i hit that and then we left the car to smoke and i smoked a stoog. oh yeah so immediately after we got out of the car to walk to their car in the beginning, we were just standing outside their car as they were sitting inside and shin like immediately took off his jacket (the warm flannel we got at pacsun whom he loves) and gave it to me even tho he was wearing a tshirt and shorts ugh. i took it off before smoking cause i didn’t want it to  smell so he put it back on and he was like “you can wear it once youre done smoking” haha. and he offered to give it back on the way back to his car but i said i was ok. then on the drive to my house i stuck my body out the window to vent out the smell LOL and it was cold as fuck but felt cool esp with shin’s crazy ass driving hahahahah and i was like i wish you had a sunroof and he was like “yeah thats my bad” and i was like NO BITCH IM NOT TRYING TO COMPLAIN ITS NOT UR BAD I MJSUT SAYING lol and shin has told me how much he hates smoking and the extent of it and how its so unattractive to kiss someone whos smoked so im like welp but as i was getting out of the car he was like yeah fuck u u smell i aint kissing you and i made a pout as i was getting out and he was like no wait and he kissed my cheek hehe. and before that he asked if i was feeling better and i said yes and thanked him and he said yeah of course anytime in a tone like ofc bitch. haha i love when he kisses my head T^T but yeah i came home around 4:40 or however long it took to get to my house and I was happy and hickey’d up and i was just so happy we ended up doing that. 

i slept right before 7am and woke up like 11 so yeah i barely slept which is probably why i felt so off today. but i just stayed in bed till my hair cut which was at 2 and kathy was so shocked to see i cut my bangs LOL going on and on about how i never wanted bangs and then i do it and i WISH I DID NOT TRIM THEM LAST WEEK CAUSE THEYRE SO SHORT NOW CAUSE THEY WERE SO UNEVEN AND I LOWKEY HATE MY HAIR AND I WISH I DIDNT GET IT CUT SHORT UGH I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE but im gonna work with it and we’ll see.  I wanna change my hair color again but idk what to change it to.  Then i went to emily’s and we picked up at unity and smoked and caught up and she was doing her interior design homework and i had to leave cause of work which sucked cause i just wanted to actually hang out but i covered shin’s shift today cause he spent all day studying so im glad i got to help him out and if it were anyone else’s shift i would’ve hated myself lol. but he didn’t call me until like 1 or something but i knew he would call eventually and he said he wanted to finish his work early so we could’ve hung out but he has way too much and so we just talked but i could barely talk cause my bitchass sister always fucking goes off about how inconsiderate i am so yeah lmao but yeah and i told him i got off work early to which he said he knew cause i got home around 11 and i ate and he calculated it and theres no way i couldve eaten after getting off at 10:30 and got home HAHAH like he cared enough to think about that.... and then i told him i have work tomorrow 11:30-5 and he said then maybe he’ll come bring me boba 

i dont expect him to but maybe he will im so fucking over work

i cant believe its already sunday tomorrow and i have to go back to school for chapel i think.  fucking kill me. i just want to have free time

[finesseandbones-blog]

Chapter 5

-- Day 3 Of Nostalgic Nightmare --

--------------------------------------------------

M a y   1 7 ,  2 0 3 X

8 : 4 5   P . M .

S a n s '   R e s i d e n c e , M o n s t e r  B a s e

L o c a t i o n   u n k n o w n

--------------------------------------------------

-- (BACK TO YOUR POV) --

I woke up with a body ache as my eyes try to regain my normal eyesight.

I was expecting that I'm back at my prison room, where Sans used to imprison me.

But I didn't wake up in there.

I woke up in a bed, a comfy one.

Regaining my energy, I tried stretching my arms and legs, but ended myself up suffering in pain.

Then I realized that my clothes were changed.

DID THAT FUCKTARD CHANGED ME LAST NIGHT?

That perverted imbecile.

I quickly tried to sit, but all these muscle pain triggered and guess what, I failed to do so.

While suffering from the pain, Sans came in with pills and my breakfast in a tray.

"Good morning, cookie. Did ya sleep well?" He asked while putting down my breakfast beside me.

My breakfast are newly cooked waffles with syrup and a tall glass of milk.

Damn this is delicious. Never expected this from a crazy ass skeleton.

"Still aching everywhere. Can't even make myself move." I replied weakly as he chuckled.

"Here, let me help you ; nice and slow." He walked beside me and supported my back and the back of my thighs with his hands.

When he attempted to carry me, I felt a sudden jolt of pain as I groaned and closed my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He assures me as he caressed my back.

"Yeah, I guess." I mumbled as he continued to help me sit up.

After seconds of pain and suffering, I successfully sat down in the bed with my back leaning against the pillow and my lower part resting on his bed.

"Okay. Can you feed yourself?" He asks as he settles my breakfast in a tray on my lap.

"I d-don't know. My body's really painful." I groaned as he sat beside me on the edge of his bed.

He grabbed the fork and knife beside my plate and started slicing the waffles into medium pieces that are small enough for my mouth to munch.

"Open wide, babe." He commanded as I opened my mouth to get a bite of his delicious art

---------------------------------------------------------------

M a y   1 7 ,  2 0 3 X

9 : 1 8  P . M .

S a n s '  B e d r o o m ,  S a n s '   R e s i d e n c e ,   M o n s t e r  B a s e

L o c a t i o n   u n k n o w n

--------------------------------------------------

After finishing my meal and taking my medicine, Sans and I had a little conversation.

"So, uh, do you think that this war will end?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, but heck am I tired of doing this." He ranted.

"Tired of what?"

"Of-" His phone suddenly rang as he picked it up from a small table and answered it.

"Hello?"

"She's not fine. She attempted to escape but a part of Undyne's army attacked her to make sure she was weak enough."

"Yeah, weak enough to KILL HER!"

"What do you mean I need to bring her there? Alphys, she's weak and when she tries to move a limb, she'll lose her mind from the pain!"

This imbecile is strangely thoughtful...

and who the hell is Alphys?

"Use a wheelchair? I seriously can't move her limbs remember?! Hey, look. Don't be sad because I am mad at you, okay?"

"Oh, she urgently requested? heh. okay. I'll talk to her instead. Okay?"

"Bye." He ended the call with this 'Alphys' thing

"Who was that?"

"It was Alphys. I'll explain to you later who she is. Right now, I need to call someone else. Excuse me for a minute."

He stood up and walked to the door but he stopped.

"Wait. You'll end up getting bored in here. I might take long but I'll let you watch a movie." He said as he grabbed a cd compiler

(AN: Those circular thing with jean-ish texture and a zipper and when you open it, you'll see cds)

He scanned through the compiler as he smirked and pulled out a cd.

You bitch don't tell me you're going to let me watch something kids wouldn't watch.

"This is one of my favorite movies. It's 10 Things I Hate About You. You'll enjoy it. I promise."

He turned on the television and the cd player and inserted the cd inside of it, then the opening started playing.

"There we go, I'll be back soon, I promise." He smiled as he left me all alone in his room.

Oh boy.

--------------------------------------------------

M a y   1 7 ,  2 0 3 X

9 : 3 6  P . M .

S a n s '   R e s i d e n c e , M o n s t e r   B a s e

L o c a t i o n   u n k n o w n

--------------------------------------------------

-- Sans' POV --

I rushed to my living room and dialed Undyne's number on my phone.

"HELLO, THIS IS THE GREAT PAPYRUS SPEAKING, HOW MAY I-"

 Oh, wait. I forgot that Papyrus is her "secretary".  

"Hey, Pap. I need to talk to Undyne right now."

"OH! HELLO BROTHER! WAIT A SECOND."

(Background sounds)

"UNDYNE! UNDYNE! SANS WOULD WANT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU RIGHT NOW!"

"GIVE ME A MINUTE, PAP!"

*mumbles something that I can't quite hear*

"What the hell do you want, G?"

"ARE YOU FUCKING-"

Contain yourself, G.

I inhaled as I gave out my best tone.

"Look, the human is badly injured, can you give us a couple of weeks for her to-"

"A COUPLE OF WEEKS? G, ARE YOU SERIOUS? MY ARMY IS GETTING TIRED OF LISTENING TO THE SAME LESSONS OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MY ARMY'S DECREASING AT POPULATION COUNT! Who knows, some cunt killed a part of them." She shouted, making me throw my phone on the floor.

Thank Asgore that this phone is "surface-proof".

"I know and STOP SCREAMING"

Actually, I'm the cunt who killed one part of your army, Undyne just to keep the lady safe so uhm, yeah. I know.

"But, if it's okay with you and Alphys, can you please try to make Mettaton go here, or maybe Alphys can come too." I hesitantly requested.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS, G? YOUR HOUSE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HUMAN'S BASE! YOU'RE JUST COVERING UP IN THERE TO CAPTURE HUMANS LIKE THAT NITWIT YOU HAVE THERE!"

"For your information, I kinda teleported the whole house to the monster base and STOP SCREAMING IN THE NAME OF ASGORE!

She's not a nitwit! She's fragile and brave. All that she wanted is for this war to end like the other humans desire. Just, please. She's too weak. We're on the surface so food won't heal her that much, even the surface CORE won't do much."

I'd dare not to say this but, Undyne. If you consider her kind as nitwits, then fuck me; she's the bravest and most amazing nit wit ever.

"Wow. That was fast. Okay, fine. I'll give you 3 weeks. After that, I'll send Alphys and Mettaton there. Take care of her with all your dignity. I'll-"

"Christ, Undyne. Stop with those corny-ass speeches. Papyrus will end up training you with his greatness."

"Whatever. Oh and I'll send the Dummy and Muffet there to keep her company. Sounds good?"

FINALLY!

"Yeah. Sounds good. Thanks, Dyne!"

"Don't call me that!" Heh, must be irritated.

"Ok. Sure, whatever. Welp, gotta check how she's doing. See ya."

"See ya, lazy wondernerd."

Muffet.

MUFFET!

"Wait! Undyne!"

"What?!"

"How's Muffet doing? I accidentally crushed her because of my lazers before I kidnapped the human."

"Oh, she's been recovering. When Cake knew about the accident, Cake told me that If she ever saw you again, She'll swear to Asgore she will kill you."

"Oh, I am sooo scared huhu. Anyways, See you soon!"

"She wasn't joking, actually. Cake can get really vicious and relentless than Muffet."

"Yeah I am aware of that. I really need to go now. Bye!"

"Bye again."

Bless this angry fish, Asgore. Bless that fish.

---------------------------------

M a y   1 7 ,   2 0 3 X

9 : 4 5   P . M .

T h e   K i t c h e n

---------------------------------

After my heated conversation with Undyne, I plan to make the human's dinner for tonight.

I don't feel hungry that much but I'm sure that the human's hungry.

I chopped some onions, garlic, bell peppers and mushrooms. I started preheating a pan and a pot of water and opened a pack of pasta. If Pap ever had teleporting powers like mine, Oh he will want some of these and run around while shouting "GOOD SHIT" in every angle of the house.

(TIME SKIP LOOOOL)

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M a y   1 7 ,   2 0 3 X

1 0 : 1 3   P . M .

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After the cooking process has been done, I did some plating stuff and made sure it's worth her health. I grabbed her pills and a glass of water and placed it on the tray. I grabbed the tray and went back to my room. I opened the door with my powers.

As I opened the door, I saw her still in the same position, still watching the same movie but in a different scene. This is the scene where Kat volunteers to dictate her poem (that was dedicated to Patrick) in class.

"Hey sweetcheeks! How are you doing?" I asked her.

"I feel sad for Kat because she thinks that Patrick was playing her feelings! Buuuut on the other hand, I blame Joey for being a dickass."

"Heh, same here. I'll prepare a box of tissue in case you'll cry on the next thing that will happen."

"What do you mean?"

I pointed my finger on the tv as Kat started her poem:

" I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much that it makes me sick. It even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh, Even worse when you make me cry. "

Prue started tearing up as I chuckled a bit. She looks so fucking cute.

"What's so funny?" She angrily asked me as I smiled

"Nothing, nothing. I remembered something." I remembered you being the cutest fucker when I first talked to you.

She scoffed as she continued watching the tear jerking scene.

" I hate the way you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you.

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. "

After Kat ran out of class (in the movie), I glared at Prue, all wet with her tears.

I chuckled a bit.

But I asked myself;

Will she love me back?

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EDITED!

- Lennie x

P.S. 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU IS A GOOD MOVIE. WATCH IT HAHAHA

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Chapter 4

Chapter 6

#eleutheromania #sans #gaster!sans #undertale #undertale 2017

[canaryatlaw]

Today was okay-ish. Not great really. I'm still just in a weird space, mentally. Still can't get my mind to stop racing. I did call my psychiatrist today but he wasn't in that office today, but they took a message and said they'd have him call me, and asked if I needed to be today, so I said I mean it's okay if it's tomorrow but today would be preferable. I didn't get a call back today. Sigh. And it's just that much more difficult now that I'm working 9-5 because when am I supposed to do things like call my psychiatrist or anyone else that is only open 9-5? When am I supposed to go to the doctor ffs? I have one appointment scheduled for late June at 8 am. I'm sure that's gonna go over well with my brain. Sigh. Now I'm getting worked up over this which is the last thing I wanted to do. I think I'm gonna go up to 4 mg of Xanax a day though. It's still within the threshold he said I could try to figure out. I just want to talk to him about it because this guy knows my brain better than probably even me and when something that used to work is no longer working it's not a good sign. I should move on now though. Alarm went off at 7 and I successfully convinced myself to get out of bed by 7:01. Got ready, poured my cocoa krispies and then looked at my milk and it had apparently curdled when the refrigerator does was stuck open for some reason when I got home yesterday. Great. At least I figured it out before I poured it onto my cereal. So I hurried around grabbing some oatmeal (one of the disposable cups) and some cinnamon toast eggos. Made the bus so that's good. I got to the office and went to go see my supervisor but she wasn't in her office, so I just went back to mine and started working on the stuff she gave me yesterday. Not that long after she showed up at my office and said she was gonna be taking a personal half day but would make sure I had enough work, and that she'd probably be going down to court at 10:30 if I wanted to join her so I said sure. Kept working until then, then went down to court and absolutely nothing interesting happened when I was hit by another one of my wow you're going to close your eyes every 3 seconds now and be incapable of keeping them open spells that I've been getting lately when I'm sitting still and focusing on one thing, and at some point after that started my supervisor came over and said it looked like all the cases were just getting dates so it wasn't gonna be interesting if I wanted to go back upstairs. I'm not sure if she saw that I was visibly falling asleep or not, lol, but I took the out. It was a little past 11 at this point and I think then was when I called my psychiatrist. Then I didn't really have any work to do so I closed my door and set my alarm for noon and took a nap. I woke up at like 11:45 so I was probably only "out" for like 30 minutes, which I figured I'll just work through my lunch to make up for so it'll be fine. I mean, power naps are a thing right? And as long as I get the work done it's not like anyone cares, so....not a big deal lol. So I then opened my office door and started conversing with the two ladies who have the offices across and next to mine. The offices are kind of set up mostly in these 3 pod systems, and this is the first time I'm actually in a full 3 pod, since first semester the office next to mine was empty and last semester I was just kind of off in a corner. So we talked as we worked and that was cool. One of the ladies gave me some DCP packets to do, which they seem to think is like the worst thing ever and kept apologizing for giving me such a boring assignment and I'm like.....dude, I spent an entire semester doing this basically. This is child's play lol bring on the packets I can do them all. So I did all 4 then reported back to her and expressed my concern about the investigation into the last one that was somewhat lacking (whenever an allegation gets unfounded on the grounds that "it's the kids word versus the foster parents word so I'm gonna believe the foster parent" the kill bill sirens start going off in my head). So that was good. She then asked if I wanted to do some trial prep for a TPR, so I spent the rest of the afternoon sorting through a rather large file to write up a timeline of services that mom and dads 1&2 did or did not do (no polygamy, just two different dads for two kids). It wasn't terribly thrilling but it was fine. I left right around 5 to catch the 5:13 train, which I'm gonna have to start leaving a little bit earlier for because the last two times it's been a few minutes early and I've barely made it (it's typical for me to get in anywhere between 8:50 and 9, so I figure 5 minutes here or there evens itself out). Trip home was fine, quickly threw some dinner together and tuned into the flash, most of my excitement stemming from knowing that watching this week's episode meant getting to next week's episode when my bby Len is coming back haha so more of a means to an end than anything else, but I actually really liked the episode! I definitely like, snorted when they showed that in wiping Barry's memories they screwed over Savitar too and now killer frost was like welp, gotta help them fix it lol. The scene with her and Cisco though, like stop it broke my heart so much <\3 like JUST LET CAITLIN BE HAPPY DAMMIT IT ISNT THAT HARD UGHHHH so that made me sad. The main part with Barry was pretty comical, him and Iris were adorable together even with the inevitable this isn't their reality looming over their heads. And they managed to get the probable cause hearing fairly by the book, so I didn't get too pissy over that (I mean, there's no way that would be the only possible way to keep the guy in custody and he would HAVE to be released otherwise, so that part was totally unrealistic, but I realize that was just a necessary plot point). But overall I really liked the episode and then of course the first shot of the preview had me flipping a shit immediately because LEN IS STANDING IN FRONT OF THE WAVERIDER and we already know he was wearing oculus clothing in other shots on the sizzle reel and ugh.......I really don't want to get my hopes up but I can't help it, they're already sky high. I really wouldn't be surprised if it's another fake out, though I would probably be the angriest I've been with them at this point. I guess we'll see where that goes. It took me about 6 minutes to remember that prison break comes on right after the flash (and by remember I mean going to the my shows list to watch B99 and see oh shit it's recording) but I caught up to live pretty quickly. I felt pretty distracted during this week's episode, probably just due to weird mental head space again. But I'm glad they're making progress and then they were like 3 episodes left!!! and I was like what????????? This is way too short lol. But I'm very much looking forward to that teased Michael/Sara reunion for next week because I know it's gonna be epic. Lol, at the end of the episode they're like "Michaels dying!" and I was like lol, when is Michael Scofield not dying? Also, at this point I'm just convinced Michael doesn't know how to give up on anything so he just keeps trying crazier and crazier ideas until one of them inevitably and inexplicably works. But I am enjoying that. So after that, I did watch Brooklyn 99. I may be totally wrong on this, but I could've sworn B99 used to be a half hour show??? I'm probably just wrong but I definitely thought that. This episode at least seemed very distinctly split into two parts, both of which were pretty great. The Rochester partying was hilarious of course as was them recreating what happened. Then there was the whole Amy/Jake storyline with her taking the sergeants exam that led to that super sweet scene of him just being like this is your dream and it's been your dream before we started going out, I've always known you were gonna be my boss anyway and it was really adorable (and then he went all die hard and it was really funny). And yeah, that pretty much capped my tv for the night. I got into a Twitter DM convo with one of the DCTV podcast hosts (I'm being intentionally vague here) regarding the appearance of the waverider in the trailer and they weren't happy about it and was just kind of ranting at legends and normally we just have stupid and amusing conversations about our shows so it got kind of awkward for a minute there but we both calmed down and were like okay it's fine people have opinions lol. And plus they have an entire podcast to rant to about their opinions, so the need to do it to me personally isn't really there. We're fine though, I like them and I enjoy talking to them. And that was pretty much my day. Tomorrow is Wednesday and my third day at "work" for summer. Did I mention I'm the only law clerk in the office right now? My name looks so lonely on the sign in sheet, lol. Most people are still in finals, I just finished really early and wanted to make sure I made it back in time for the child death case to be up so here I am. I'm probably the only law clerk in the building at this point 😂 but yeah, as far as I know I'll finally be going iron the field (maybe I should pack a change of clothes? We didn't discuss this) or maybe she's coming to the courthouse but I'll be interviewing a 5 year old girl who was removed from her mother's care about 2 weeks ago after reports of physical abuse and that mom was a heroin addict with visible track marks on her arm, and she was always referring to her daughter as "that little bitch" and like throwing her around, and also they were living in like complete desolation, like there were holes in the floor and no heat (and this is Chicago and even though ITS FUCKING MAY it's still been freezing) and many other such examples and yeah, it wasn't good. The DCP investigator seemed to think the girl appeared as a normal happy, healthy 5 year old so that's encouraging. I guess we'll see how that goes. Okay, time for bed now. Goodnight punks. Stay awesome.

#daily journal #May 2017