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thestobingirlie · 8 months

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post s4 steddie fic where eddie, finally free of high school, realises he doesn’t know who he is without the rigid cliches he’s defined himself by his whole life. he doesn’t know who he is if he’s not performing and loudly declaring himself to be a freak just to desperately grapple for attention and respect.

eddie who, like steve, realises it’s all bullshit.

eddie, who’s jealous that steve so easily understands who he is and how he fits into his life, regardless of any jokes other people make at his expense. who accepts people wholeheartedly, despite the fact that cliches would have them hate each other.

steve, who helps teach eddie how to be himself, regardless of the ‘munson doctrine’ and what other people would define him as. who teaches eddie that being a ‘freak’ doesn’t actually define him, and he can find and enjoy interests outside of what society dictates he can.

eddie, who gets into sports, and enjoys drama, and music, and tv shows that teenaged him would’ve mocked and bullied him for years ago. eddie who grows and changes as he gets older, and isn’t constantly trapped in his performance of ‘the school drug-dealing freak’.

#tired of it being the other way around </3 #steve doesn’t need eddie to teach him that school performance shit is bullshit. he already knows!!!!#we’ve watched him come to this realisation season after season #and we watch eddie begin that journey in s4!!!#steve isn’t who eddie thought he would be. he doesn’t fit the box that eddie shoved him into.#because no one does!!!#what made steddie so interesting to me at first isn’t the idea that eddie can teach steve how to be a freak #it’s that steve can help eddie realise it’s all bullshit #whatever box people put eddie in. whatever box eddie puts people in. it’s imaginary!!! it’s not real #it’s high school bullshit!!!#there’s so much more colour in the world than those black and white views #steve is so much more than eddie thought he would be #why shut steddie back into that doctrine when they can love and grow and be more than high school cliches #eddie munson #steve harrington #steveddie #stranger things #my post

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stuckinapril · 2 months

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One day I’ll go through med school and then I’ll go through residency and then I’ll go through a fellowship and then I’ll be the most crybaby neurosurgeon you could think of. Bursting into tears if I so much as graze ur hypothalamus with my forceps

#Yesterday I shadowed a neurologist for the first time and basically we got done seeing a patient who��s also a heart surgeon #And I turned to the doctor and was like Ok what do we do #The thing is this patient has dementia and we don’t really have a cure for that yet so the study he’s enrolling in is largely observational #Still I expected her to follow up on him in much more frequent increments #Instead this woman goes “we’ll see him in 6-9 months but… not even sure if he’ll be here by then sooo”#Basically implying he might be dead in a year #AND I WAS LIKE. Blown away by how blase she was #And ever since then a fiendish sort of melancholy followed me everywhere I went .#Bc I haven’t stopped thinking about the heart surgeon #I don’t get how she can stop thinking about him #I don’t understand people who can stop thinking about something like that #I know neurologists like her have seen patients come and go many a time but I was disturbed #So I made a pact w myself never to lose my humanity. Half of why I’m so into medicine is bc of its humane aspects #And in 10 years I’ll look back at this and hopefully still be just as annoyingly sensitive as I am today #I think I’m just overall disillusioned w how little humanity some people seem to have but that doesn’t mean I have to be that way too #p

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whatacatch · 8 days

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When Sasuke finally kills Itachi and Naruto is trying to catch up to him, only to see that he’s already been taken somewhere else, you just see Naruto’s heart hurting. And not even like romantic way- if you’re so opposed to that, but he just wants Sasuke to come back. To live his life without any sort of dark revenge or manipulation. To have the ability to be himself in a place that he feels safe; that he can let his guard down and simply rest. Because he hasn’t since he was seven- and Naruto saw that. You could see the anguish in his face and the silence amongst everyone when he said “why can I never reach him?” He really loves him, wholeheartedly.

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viperwhispered · 16 days

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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yonemurishiroku · 1 year

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I don’t even need Nico to fight Zeus. I can settle with just Nico, calm and unafraid, looking right into Zeus’ freezing blue eyes, saying “You’re scared of me.”

#scared of what his existence holds #the phantom of a threat zeus failed to eliminate #and now it’d always come back to haunt him HA HA HA #bc nico’s hades’ son. bc nico stays opposed to zeus always #bc nico has what he doesn’t have. the power. the connection. the potential. the ghost #nico di angelo #zeus (pjo)#yone rambling #immortal nico #older nico #powerful nico #prince of the underworld #ghost king nico #pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo

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anna-scribbles · 25 days

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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work

unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion

#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad #because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid #i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back #i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades #i might be able to snag a short nap before work #but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen #WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE #well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway #OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently #emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it #and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry #so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m #so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point #anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari #after escaping her british nobility life #and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known #and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time #also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w #but at least he’s still obsessed with her #this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml #anna rambles #asks

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transmasccofee · 7 months

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thinking yet again about Saiki‘s’s final choice in the series being “I’d rather live with my powers than die without them” bc that is seriously the single best ending of a disability narrative I’ve seen. Fuck.

#The thing people don’t tell u about being physically disabled #Is that you’ll see the physically abled people in your life start to view you as something tragic #And while they rarely say it when it comes down to things #They think you’re better dead than disabled. That you’d be happier put out of your misery.#Even with stories involving disabled characters (If we’re anything beyond a background diversity shot which is… rare)#It’s about “curing” or “overcoming” your disability which is I guess a nice sentiment but most of us won’t ever do that #Saiki doesn’t do either of those things #He wants to be cured and briefly thinks he is but then it’s discovered that he Cant be cured bc his powers are part of the whole of him #He doesn’t ever overcome them either #He just puts his glasses back on and decides that if it means he can live another day then he’ll continue to deal with them #And his powers are progressive #And that’s a thing weighing on him but it’s never treated like a death sentence #It’s just something he has to and will deal with #And it sucks but what else is he gonna do #It’s just. Aughhhhh. Aaaaaauuuuughhhhhhhhh……..#This post was brought to u by a man grieving his own mobility #physically disabled #physical disability #saiki k

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loveandthings11 · 1 year

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Understanding in 1x02 vs 4x03:

*deep breath*

Early on, this is what Shiv sees:

This is what she doesn’t see:

Kendall is cornered into talking about the business. Wordlessly, gently threatened into it when he said he didn’t want to right now. Gerri and Karl aren't in mourning. They are doing their jobs, and they’re testing him to see if he can do his. If he said no and walked away, the company would be taken out of family control, Logan would be furious, and he'd lose out on his dream forever.

Shiv sees none of that happen, and Kendall doesn't even tell her about it- maybe because he thinks she wouldn't listen, maybe because she said she thinks he’s weak already, or maybe because he just almost never defends himself in general. But she can’t see his perspective without knowing what happened.

The lack of understanding between them results in this disaster:

She thinks he’s being cold by talking to the nominating committee, but we see how he really feels. He just always turns to reason and order in times of crisis and she doesn’t really know that.

He has not forgotten this conversation or Shiv’s perception of him here. He doesn’t want that:

Shiv’s been inside Waystar now. She knows now that talking business for a minute during a dark time doesn’t mean you don’t care. In fact, she did it while Kendall was confessing his worst moment, but it didn’t mean she loves him less. She knows him better now and has seen that he’s anything but emotionless. No one criticizes him for turning to reason and order this time. They ask for it.

No matter what happens, he won’t forget this nice conversation either. He won’t forget that his siblings finally see him the way he’s always hoped they would: as the big brother who can make hard decisions in seemingly impossible moments. He’s the one who can shepherd them through it. There’s trust there now and they finally know how it feels. The door will be open for togetherness now, even if it looks like it might close for a while. It’s not that they changed as people, it’s that they’ve learned how to read each other.

Not seeing each other’s perspectives led to having to be alone:

Now, it seems, even though they will struggle for a while, they have an understanding.

🤍

#us 🥹#really what he’s wanted from the very beginning #Jesse can talk all he wants about not believing in growth but it’s all over this episode #I mean #they are the same people #but now they get each other #doesn’t mean there won’t be backslides but they will remember how much better they feel together #as we’ve seen with ‘I don’t know if me and you come back from that’ they do always come back together #there are so many parallels between these episodes my brain had sparks going the whole time #they are all happier like this and they won’t forget that #I have always been obsessed with 1x02 #the way Karl says you’re in no fit state gives me goosebumps #yeesh #succession parallels #kendall roy #succession #succession season 4 #roman roy #I wonder how much money I’d have if I cared about my side jobs as much as I care about this #shiv roy #shit show at the fuck factory #Connor’s wedding #succession spoilers

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cryptiduni · 10 months

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“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #my art #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu

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inkykeiji · 1 year

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okay but you can't tell me daddy dazai isn't GREAT at aftercare. he can take you apart and put you back together again and he loves to spoil and coddle you too. <3

with you, yes, absolutely 100%!!!! he would be the fucking sweetest and he’d already have multiple potential care plans in place before you even begin the scene, each tailored to a specific outcome—the ways he thinks you’re most likely to react by the time the scene is over, with a few of them branching out into sub-plans based on what turns the scene may take as it develops. each aftercare plan is attuned to what he knows your specific set of needs will be by the end of him fucking you into the prettiest shattered shards of yourself. if the session ends up being purely psychological torture then you can bet your ass he’s got a whole novels-worth of words of affirmation written on the walls of his skull, just waiting to be spoken to you. if the session is more physical in nature then he’s prepared with your favourite nutritious snack + a bottle of water + first aid materials. if it’s any combination of both he’s prepared with whatever percentage of each he believes must be met; various aftercare blends each customized to that particular result.

afterwards, after he’s sure your initial, instinctive and most immediate needs have been throughly dealt with and resolved, it’s whatever you further need—your favourite comfort film, or cozy cuddles beneath fluffy blankets with him and your most cherished stuffy, or tender kisses scattered across your marred skin and mangled limbs, gentle lips so healing, so loving as they skim across your body, each stamp of them against your flesh leaving a soft, small blossom of warmth in its wake; whatever it is, whatever you want, he is more than ready and willing to give it.

i genuinely believe that like, 97% of the time this man is fucking brutal and sincerely, severely sadistic in the bedroom; loves teasing you to the point of tears and then far beyond that, staining his name into your skin through deep indents beneath all 32 of his teeth and splats of broken blood vessels beneath his fingertips, can be downright fucking cruel when he wants to be, when the mood strikes him (and takes genuine delight and pleasure in it all)—and as such, being a god at aftercare is a must, when it concerns you, anyway.

with akutagawa tho?????? eeeeeee probably not

#listen i just think akutagawa brings out the absolute worst in him #just this extremely sadistic extremely power starved side of himself #that he can get under control if he *wants* to but he doesn’t really want to #because with aku he doesn’t HAVE to #because with aku he can let that side of himself completely loose and know he won’t lose his sub #because no matter what happens akutagawa will come crawling back with tears in his eyes and pleads on his tongue for dazai’s favour and prai #praise #this has been sitting in my drafts since april tenth anon i am SO sorry #it got lost >.<#but here u go!!! <3 #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai smut #inky.dazai #have a wonderful saturday anon bb!!!#stay safe and don’t forget to hydrate!!!#inky.bb #clari gets mail

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