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saerotonins · 6 months

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ponytail

ft. nanami kento x fem!reader

content warnings: fluff, based on THAT nanami episode, reader's hair length is not specified but it can be tied into a ponytail, suggestive, welcome to the first installation of actor!nanami and actor!jjk au 🫶🏻 more to come!

wc: 1387

note: he is so HAWT pls i cannot contain myself

"tell me the numbers of your allies and their places," you heard your husband say through the tv screen.

as terrifying as he sounds, you can't deny that your husband really looks good in this shot. especially the way his voice sounds so stern and so commanding—

and then you see him pull haruta's ponytail while asking the same question. dear god was he so attractive when he says his lines. you remember him trying to practice them with less ferocity and feelings as to memorize them.

your husband is not the type to ask you for help in these kinds of scenes since he doesn't have the heart to speak to you in such harsh voices. sometimes however, he asks you to listen to him say lines that doesn't require any emotions like anger. you also hear him having an online meeting with his co-actors (particularly gojo) and practice their lines together while giving each other comments on what to improve on.

but seeing this scene come to light and be alive, you can't help but feel something burning inside of you—

but then it hits

"that should have been me!" you whine into the air and hitting the throw pillow with annoyance at the same time with giddy because god does your husband looked so fucking good doing it.

you finish the episode with a huge smile on your face and a brilliant plan in your mind.

nanami comes home exhausted, finishing another shoot and meetings for new promotion and magazine releases. all he wants right now is to lie down in your arms and get a good night's sleep.

however, he is welcomed with silence instead of you cooking or watching some reality show you were currently into. he was confused but it didn't ring any alarm bells in his mind.

"darling, i'm home," he calls out trying to get some kind of response. he doesn't hear you answer back but the pitter-patter that he hears towards him is enough to know that you're in there.

"kento! you're home," you greeted him with a wild smile on your face while standing a few feet away. your hands are on your back as you swing your body left to right.

nanami finds your behavior quite strange today but decided to brush it off and smiles anyway. he then takes a few steps to give you a chaste and careful kiss on your forehead. you close your eyes at the sensation and savor the affection that your husband gives you.

"i'm gonna go change for a bit then we can have dinner, yeah?" nanami says but before he even gets to walk to your shared bedroom, you stop him.

"wait!" you say which puts his steps into a halt, he turns his back to face you with a confused expression painted on his face.

"hmm?" he asks, waiting for your response. instead, all he sees is you swaying your head left to right which makes him even more confused.

"what is it, hon?" he says, trying to gently lure out some answers as he also realize that you have been acting weird ever since he got home.

"do you... notice anything new?” ignoring his question, you turn your back at him showing him the back of your head.

nanami is an observant man, of course he notices you put your hair into a ponytail the moment he saw you, but it's not something alarming or drastically different to the point that he needs to say it out loud. however, basing on your actions, he decides that maybe he does need to say it out loud.

"you tied your hair into a ponytail?" nanami says, his voice having a tinge of confusion, because he really doesn't know what is this all about.

you quickly face him again enthusiastically with an excited nod and 'mhm!' your smile stretching out on your face. "do you like it?"

"yes, you look good at any hairstyle but what is this all about? am i missing anything?" now his mind is starting to worry as to what he had missed, but seeing the smile on your face tells him that nothing is wrong.

you pouted and blinked, and then tilted your head, and pointed on you ponytail, further emphasizing it to nanami.

"yes, darling, i see you're wearing your hair in a ponytail but what is this really about?" at this point you're surprised why he's not mad and that's what you love about him, always so patient and puts up with your antics— even the stupid ones.

you give him one last hint and started on tugging your ponytail with a straight face. you see your husband racking his brain for answers, his eyes blinking as he stares at you.

finally, it clicked.

"oh, did that episode air today?" he says, now with a sly smile on his face.

your husband is never the type to tease (unless it's in the bedroom), but you see a glint of mischief in his eyes and that's enough for you to know that he plans on provoking you as long as the energy left in his body can. with the voice he used to ask you, all confidence is left in your body and suddenly the walls of your home looks more interesting than him.

you hear footsteps towards you and once it halts, you feel his hands on your chin, lifting it up to meet his eyes. "i asked you a question, angel,"

"yeah," you croaked out, your throat suddenly feels dry because of the distance.

three years of marriage and seven years with each other, he never fails to make your heart beat faster whenever he does little things like this.

you suddenly feel your stomach churn, from nervousness, anticipation, or excitement, maybe all of them, you don't know, but you opt to close your eyes instead. but what you didn't expect is you feel nanami's hands glide from your chin, to your nape, to the back of your head—

and then you feel a sudden pause that made you open your eyes.

there's a smirk plastered on his face, practically mocking you. you frown and you see it grow bigger.

"what are frowning about?" he asks, a hint of playfulness in his voice didn't go unnoticed.

"you know what i want, kento,"

"oh dear, we're using government now?"

you sigh out of faux irritation, "ugh, fine, if you don't want to– ah!"

a yelp goes out of your lips as you feel nanami tug on your ponytails harshly, but careful enough not to hurt you. "is this what you wanted, darling?" he says, as you feel his the heat of his breath in your ears.

"yes," you managed to breath out. it was a shock but you loved it nonetheless as you swallow a thick lump of your saliva.

you closed your eyes again when you feel nanami kissing your jawline, going closer towards your lips as he grips your ponytail tighter which gives your head a nice, dull ache. you hold onto his forearm for support as you feel your legs turn into jelly, and the moment his lips reaches the corner of your lips, he stops.

"what the— why'd you stop?" you whine as you grip his arms tighter, not wanting to let go.

"i just remembered i have a quick online meeting with the magazine team and crew for our next campaign photoshoot," he says, quickly letting go your hair and walking towards his study.

"babe, you can't just rile me up like that and leave me all alone!" you say as you quickly follow him.

"you're a big girl, y/n, you can wait for a few minutes,"

"but i'll be suffering!" you say as you stomp your feet on the carpeted floor along the hallway.

"face the consequences of your actions, i've got a boner while on a meeting, i'm lucky we're doing this online," he then opens the door to his study but before he goes to his desk, he looks at you through the ajar of the door. "wait for me, this'll be quick, then we can solve our issues," he says before finally closing the door.

that statement brought a huge smile on your face.

that haruta bitch character ain't luckier than you, after all.

#nanami fluff #jjk actor au #nanami kento x reader #nanami x reader #nanami kento fluff #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #jujutsu kaisen fluff #nanami kento

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httpsuniverse · 9 months

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mr lover [ ben chilwell ]

— right where you left lover girl sequel, this takes place two years later!

[ 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 ] — ben chilwell x singer!reader . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ 🫂 °. *

[ 𝗗𝗘𝗧𝗔𝗜𝗟𝗦 & 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 ] — romance, mentions pregnancy, google translated french . ⊹ ✶ ㄔ ℹ️ °. *

࣪˖ 💭 .. 𝗘𝗬𝗔’𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘𝗦 ⌕ clearing my drafts again 😵‍💫 if you ask me, i’m obsessed with singer!reader fics lol

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © httpsuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

benchilwell

liked by masonmount, yourusername, reecejames and others

benchilwell family time

view all 592 comments

user am i reading this right ?? ‘family’ time ??

user his dog clinging to y/n is the cutest thing ever

user they’re such dog parents 😭

yourusername my babyyy my babyyy

benchilwell which one?

yourusername one of you will be in a lot of pain if i say who

benchilwell 🙄

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, masonmount, cmpulisic and others

yourusername look at me, i am the favourite hooman now.

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user not y/n quoting from captain phillips 😭

benchilwell once i get back home, i will take my title back

yourusername NONSENSE! you cannot dethrone the current favourite hooman

user y/n saying hooman instead of human 😭 that’s so dog momma of her

yourusername i birthed this child

benchilwell huh

yourusername huh

user pls he looks so comfy on y/n’s lap, he’s obviously not a lap dog

yourusername if he fits, he sits

user agreed 🤝

user why did all this time i thought y/n was a cat person

user she literally loves any kind of animal 😭 she adopted a ferret when she was a kid

yourusername omg !! mr fuzzy wuzzy was my childhood pet 🥹 maybe i should adopt another ferret

benchilwell what? no way

yourusername heheheheheheheeh

benchilwell

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benchilwell home is where the heart is.

view all 289 comments

yourusername but god i love the english

benchilwell you know i love a london boy

yourusername 🫣🫣

user ben at this point, you really are the extra hooman

benchilwell i cant blame him

yourusername i told you i birthed this dog

benchilwell 😂

yourprivate

liked by masonspriv, reecespriv, mikaspriv and 23 others

yourprivate hehe oops

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mikaspriv what the fuck is this how i find out ?!?!?!!

yourprivate heheheheheheheeheh

mikaspriv IM PACKING MY BAGS AND HOPPING ON THE NEXT PLANE

benspriv little chilly 🔜

masonspriv i never wouldve known if i hadnt opened this account

reecespriv me too mate

christiansprivme three

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yourpriv what

benspriv what

yourusername and benchilwell

liked by masonmount, chelseafc, england, madders and 8,826,937 others

yourusername we’re getting him a human in a few months 🙈

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benchilwell babe i thought we already agreed what the caption will be

yourusername mines funnier

benchilwell 🙄

masonmount who thought that covering his eyes would be cute

yourusername mine. do you have any problem with that? 😀

masonmount i don’t maam, it’s a great idea, very very cute!

user this is the cutest announcement 😭

user as a fellow dog mummy, i approve of this post!

weratedogs 100/10 for being such a good boy and will be the goodest big brother!

user as a y/n fan since debut, i feel OLD (we’re the same age)

yourusername omg since debut album?!?!?! 😳 we have to meet like RIGHT NOW

user y/n went from writing how she’s stuck in the past, to loving herself and loving a new person 🥹 now she’s probably gonna write something about her baby ... just thinking about it rn makes me emotional

— ❤️ by yourusername

england congratulations benchilwell and yourusername! 🤍

chelseafc shall we make a onesie for baby chilwell?

yourusername omg YES PLEASE

benchilwell 🤦🏻‍♂️

yourusername JUST IMAGINE HOW CUTE OUR BABY WILL BE ON THAT ONESIE

benchilwell

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benchilwell eleanor chilwell is here 🩷👨🏻‍🍼 you did good mama, i’m proud and grateful to you, yourusername. i love you both

comments on this post have been limited.

yourusername thank you dada, we love you too 🩷

yourusername

liked by benchilwell, charles_leclerc and 3,826,929 others

yourusername the happiest i’ve ever been 🩷 merci pour tout mon benji. je t'aime toi et eleanor de tout mon coeur. (thank you for everything, my benji. i love you and eleanor with all my heart)

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benchilwell 🩷🩷

user several chapters missed but i’m glad to see you so happy y/n 🥹

user i was surprised when they announced she was pregnant, bit i was more surprised to know that they’re married now 😭

user the hand placements of ben 😭

user i’m so alone yall

user AAA y/n 🥺

user literally went from being dog parents to real parents 🥺🩷

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ─────────────────

yourusername and benchilwell

2,836,729 likes

yourusername darling, don’t you ever grow up... just stay this little. happy birthday my sweet eleanor🩷 mama (with the help of dada) wrote a song for you baby, me and dada loves you sooo much. never grow up out now ✨

view all 238,861 comments

benchilwell growing up too fast, my ellie bear 🥲

user ellie bear... 😭 bens such a girl dad

user stopp im emo im not even a parent

user omg eleanor looks so cute!!

user milks expensive, im too young to be a mum

user my daily mantra every time i see ben or y/n post eleanor

user they have a little ballerina 🥺

user 4 years old already? 😭 time really flew by omg

yourusername i know right 🥺

user y/n and her happy ending 🥺 CURRENTLY TAKING A BATH WITH MY TOASTER RN

#ben chilwell fluff #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell x reader #ben chilwell #ben chilwell scenario #ben chilwell x you #ben chilwell x y/n #football imagine #football x y/n #football x you #football x reader #ben chilwell instagram au #football instagram au

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psychelis-new · 10 months

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pick a pile: "What would a tarot reader tell someone about you"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about what a tarot reader would tell someone enquiring about you especially if you were their friend, love interest, current/future/destined partner or future spouse (eg. your fs asking a tarot reader about you aka their fs).

i think songs this times should be seen as the enquiring person's thoughts mostly but ofc take as resonates anyway

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life. Inspired by @pbstarot's reading

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

A tarot reader would say that you're very abundant and a good manifestor of your life. You're "golden", a treasure for those who can really find you and see you for who you are: you tend to shy away, probably play down yourself or are a bit introverted/stay a bit on your own. You seem to be good at balancing your life though, I think your introspective nature helps you a lot especially when you deal with anxiety and tough stuff. You may suffer from difficult/transformational times pretty often but you can come out of those as a new person with new found knowledge especially about who you are and your power. This has made you a balanced person. Probably you also have two different endeavours you divide yourself into. You're passionate and hardworking. You probably have a career but you do also volunteer/help others in another way, you can be a reader yourself or be very intuitive/in tune with emotions and have a wide knowledge you like to share with others to give them support and help them out of dark periods. People find you comforting. You're healing your heart at the moment, waiting for the right person to come in but kinda be unsure if they will actually arrive (your person may be smirking at this like "ofc I'm coming, here I am" or kinda opt for a more 18+ thought... whatevs). You may also be pretty romantic and sweet, you're still trying to work through a few fears like trusting the unknown. You have a lot of love to give away, sometimes it feels like you cannot contain it so you may be even thinking about getting a pet or a plant or indeed going volunteering if you aren't yet.

song: you and me | lifehouse

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pile 2

Cheerful person, very well liked in general but also kinda oblivious at times. You don't do it on purpose ofc, it just happens that you get carried away by your emotions, lose track of what is really going on and start living in a fantasy. Maybe you're a bit lonely lately or in an isolation-period in which you're trying to understand yourself a little more. You're probably a bit picky with the people and things you like, but you're aware of that and are trying to change this. It's just that at times, when you get carried away or feel overwhelmed by your feelings and fears, it's not easy to keep calm and keep being determined/hopeful and positive and all. You're a very sunny positive person but when things go wrong, you follow them. You get discouraged, probably kinda easily too. But the moment this happens you have some people around you that can help you see things from the right perspective (or need to find them). You need to communicate your fears and emotions (that's so good). You're probably learning to trust your own guidance too, but you feel better when interacting with others, when having an external support system, be it your person or a group of friends/people you trust. You'll still probably have this need once you will find this person/group, but it won't be too much of a problem cause you're a loving person and it seems everyone loves you no matter what so don't worry too much about feeling needy or difficult, you're not any of these. Anyway, back to the actual reading: the reader at this point may tell this person you'll probably fear being seen as needy and left out so they'll know they only have to try and reassure you it's not so. They seem a very sweet caring person so it won't be a problem.

song: darkside | neoni

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pile 3

You're powerful, determined and fast-paced... I'd say impulsive tbh at least in most of the things you do. Maybe you're in a burnout or doing too many things at once or just stressing over something. At this moment your energy feels very tired, sleepy. You need to give yourself a break. Probably you're not used to gift breaks to yourself so the reader may suggest this person to take the charge when they notice you're worn out and tell you to go to sleep. You probably need someone to take care of you or teach you how to properly do that for yourself. You're not used at putting yourself first, you were taught to put others in front of you. You have a lot of energy that needs to be released... probably cause you got kinda "blocked" or "caged" by others in the past and therefore you still have loads to dissipate from your body. You need to find your own balance, the heart of the matter, both emotional and mental. You may also be overworking or stressing on something without really giving yourself a break to avoid resolving this problem. It feels like you keep postponing this confrontation with your inner self. Probably it feels too scary cause you don't know what you will find there "it's been ages...". I think there's some inner child wound that you left there and try to keep there inside. Whatever it is, you really need to find you ways to slow down so I guess this person will have to help you in this. Also in taking things slow with you or "you'll get burned". You're passionate also as a lover or friend but again you may tend to rush things and/or come to easy conclusions even when it's not good to do so. Too much overthinking, as not having enough time for others and ourselves, can sabotage our lives more than anything. You will make a decision in the close future as in to decide if to keep going this way or trying to work on what you really want. This person seems determined to help anyway or feels like they have finally understood something so they may either not know you or know you already when asking a tarot reader.

song: slow burn | kacey musgraves

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pile 4

Differently from other piles, we're starting from another pov. This person may ask how they will recognize you or meet you, but the answer lays in how you are (or will be). You'll probably choose your person first for who they are. You know what you want and you go after that without giving up too much. You're focused and are indipendent and seem pretty controlled/strong. You're also calm and know how to differentiate illusions from reality. You know how to make yourself happy and who/what can make you happy. Or at least, you're trying to learn that if you still aren't always aware. You're changing your point of view, you're turning into a more powerful being. I think you may be put in front of a choice or be tested to see if you have changed something from your past. There may be problems related to really knowing your worth and what you deserve, and to receiving love, support and appreciation and welcome that, no matter in what forms it can come. Maybe you had dealt with lot of judgement and lies in your past but this too is coming to a conclusion also thanks to the huge work you have done with yourself. You're probably on the verge of moving from this self inflicted pain towards jumping into the unknown trusting yourself and your guts, leaving what you thought you deserved for what you really deserve. You're also probably working with your inner child at the moment, and try to heal them emotionally so to remind yourself of your power and ability to manifest what you desire. Your person is already finding you very fascinating and may already love you/feel attracted to you (maybe you're their "crush").

song: love you too much | lucky daye

#pick a pile #pick a card #pick a pile reading #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #pick a photo #pac #pac tarot #pac reading #divination #clairs readings #psychic readings #free tarot reading #tarot reading #tarot readings #tarotcommunity #tarotblr

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thesherrinfordfacility · 9 months

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okay let's get them hard truths out in the open following episode 6, bearing in mind that i am in the UK and am therefore chronically sleep-deprived, and have watched the Feral Domestic™ maybe only like oh 7 times:

crowley is as much at fault as aziraphale. they are both as bad as each other. their own individual idiosyncrasies are literally the other's emotional downfall and if im honest im not entirely sure there's any way they can adequately move past it.

waxed on and on and on about it, but aziraphale's issue is not that he has any allegiance to heaven. he doesn't at all, and that is obvious in his initial reaction to the metatron, in that he essentially says that he knows his place and it is not Up Above. it is right there in the bookshop, and with crowley (even if he didn't consciously think it that explicitly at the time). he doesn't want any part of the heaven that it currently is, he has had enough and is tired of trying to be the angel that hides who he is and what he wants from his existence. that much is very much clear.

but the mantra throughout most of life is to be the change you want to see in the world. look at the major societal issues that are happening in the world today; people are rising up and fighting for what is right, and what they believe in, and wanting to make changes. now look at this opportunity that aziraphale has been given. regardless of the questionable motive of the metatron offering it to him; if you were in his position, could you say you'd find it easy to refuse that?

the issue here with aziraphale is that he (again, ill harp on about it until the cows come home) thinks that crowley - this demon that isn't a good demon because he is good and kind and gentle - would want to have his place in making that change happen; be by aziraphale's side whilst they create the world and heaven that is different from the largely shit one they've always known, hated, and feared. this is where the Pedestal comes in; like i said before, aziraphale has now been confronted with the fact that this demon, his best friend and love of his life, is acting in the way he's always acted but that aziraphale refuses to acknowledge... because to acknowledge crowley's shortcomings (which ill discuss in a sec) would be to question aziraphale's faith in him, and mean falling from the pedestal that has been aziraphale's status quo for the last few thousand years at minimum.

edit: this also needed adding because it touches on aziraphale's tendency to hold himself superior to crowley, which he also does in the Domestic scene.

crowley's issue is twofold. one, he cannot move on from the fall. second, that he is sometimes a manipulative and childish shit. the first is obvious, and his recent experiences with heaven have only compounded this (ie his conversation with gabriel/goob, where he lays into him about gabriel's part in the cruelty shown towards aziraphale to the point he almost makes goob kill/injure himself). crowley can also however be incredibly cruel borne out of his own pain. there were major hints in s2 that not only did crowley fall (no matter what the metatron says, im still not convinced he fell for only asking questions) but he fell from a great sodding height that in his mind should have made him untouchable. my thoughts on morality in heaven have already been discussed, but that must have had a huge impact on crowley; it is no wonder that it's a sore point and he feels bitter, resentful, and angry.

in the above context, id want nothing to do with heaven either. but crowley doesn't communicate and im guessing that his feelings about the fall are a No Go area in terms of what he's shared with aziraphale... so for crowley to assume that aziraphale turned down the metatron is grossly unfair - how was aziraphale necessarily meant to know how deep his trauma (if we're applying human mental health constructs) runs? he isn't to know that at all - so it does track that aziraphale would think that crowley would want to help him make a difference so they don't have to keep getting involved in the toxicity that is the heaven/hell politico-moral dichotomy.

what also upset me about the Domestic was the kiss. i loved it for what it was in isolation and it was a long time coming, and a huge movement in the dance they constantly have with each other, but it was in essence manipulative. i realise crowley was on his last emotional straw and yes, perhaps the love and devotion got too much for him to contain... but he literally just stood there and heard aziraphale tell him that he wanted crowley and he wanted them to be together. there were no qualms at all that aziraphale loves him as much as he loves aziraphale. so, what was the kiss meant to prove?

to my mind, it was manipulation; specific, a temptation. whilst very romantic and 'sweep him off his feet with the violins playing', it was also non-consensual and unwarranted on crowley's part - to the point of being derogatory and redundant (lets be clear: not a criticism on Neil for adding the kiss, im purely talking about crowley as a character and his Choices here). there was nothing to prove, nothing that that kiss could have possibly convinced aziraphale to do. so the only thing that leaves, imo, is that it was a temptation. crowley does not typically use temptation in this way, or at least that's the impression ive had throughout s1 and s2, so he chooses now is the time? to tempt aziraphale into staying with him? of course he does!

he's desperate, but also childish and immature and completely ignorant of what aziraphale is actually saying to him. aziraphale never denied him; aziraphale wanted him in this opportunity exactly by his side as he always has been. but that didn't fit with what crowley wanted, so he tried to make aziraphale bend to his will. aziraphale says the fatal words "i forgive you", but if he has (as i suspect he has) realised that crowley was trying to manipulate him... well, id probably say something as damning to crowley as 'i forgive you' too.

when aziraphale said 'nothing last forever', i realise crowley took that to mean him and the life that they built together, but it obviously wasn't that at all. aziraphale is saying that they have eternity ahead of them, that he wants to spend it with crowley, whatever has to end around them (ahem the world? apocalypse from s1, anyone?). aziraphale demonstrated consistently throughout s2 that he is trying to give crowley his own agency where heaven/hell are concerned (paraphrased but: "I want you to help me but if you don't want to, you are free to leave"). crowley however seemed that he was constantly one foot out the door in case things got Too Much (which, you know - valid) but aziraphale really did his best to make crowley not only not feel suffocated but also that crowley was wanted. and for anyone that is a tough balancing act.

the two of them have had 6000+ years of Not Really Communicating. this is the detritus that remains when they don't, and it was absolutely needed in this season. for them to break apart and break in and of themselves. s3 needs to be where they learn more about themselves than each other, and stop believing that the other is infallible, because such thinking - worship, blind faith - only ends badly.

#good omens #not the analysis this fandom wants #but the analysis that it needs #i will proof read this at some point so if shit doesnt read well or make sense just pretend that it does #aziraphale meta #s2 meta #feral domestic/final fifteen meta

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d1xonss · 5 months

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About Masterlist:

~ Currently I am only writing for the character Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead. But I’m likely to write for others later on down the road.

~ Genres very from fluff to angst

~ My main focus right now is the story I’m writing called Desert Rose which, as of now, is still incomplete.

~ New updates will (hopefully) be weekly.

~ I never have any good ideas for oneshots so I’ll be taking any requests people send me!

~ Most oneshots will be mainly female readers unless requested otherwise.

Fluff ~ 🧸

Angst ~ 🖤

Suggestive ~ 👀

Smut ~ 💋

Series!!<3

~ Desert Rose (ongoing) 🧸💋🖤👀

Series Masterlist Seasons 1-5

Series Masterlist Seasons 6-11 (coming soon)

Oneshots (coming soon…maybe??)

Oneshots!!<3

~ Enchanting 🧸

Summary : After Daryl meets you at a dreaded get together in Alexandria, his mind is constantly flooded with the thoughts of you. When months go by and he still hasn’t made a move, someone gives him just the nudge he needs.

~ Potions 🧸

Summary : One night when you’re in the middle of your skincare routine, your boyfriend Daryl suddenly becomes intrigued.

~ Chicken Soup for the Soul 🧸

Summary : When Daryl returns home from a longer run, you notice quickly he had come down with something. It takes a little convincing, but eventually, he allows you to take care of him.

~ Don’t Go 🖤

Summary : After returning from a run, Daryl quickly finds out that you had been severely injured while he was gone. The sight of you was heartbreaking, but the thought of losing you forever was even more painful.

~ Older 👀

Summary : When confessing your feelings for Daryl after keeping them bottled up inside for so long, he ultimately rejects you. But you somehow find a way to make him regret it.

~ Older | Part 2 💋

Summary : Things only grow more tense between you and Daryl as you meet for dinner to “discuss” what’s been happening between the two of you.

~ Sunshine 🧸

Summary : Daryl has always been somewhat of a serious man, taking everything going wrong around him to heart as he stewed over them constantly. But lucky for him, you’re always around to cheer him up.

~ A Friend 🧸

Summary : Working and dealing with the walkers outside the fences one day had grown to be too much as you desperately needed to get away from the noise. When you found something else to occupy your time, you slowly realize how boring it became. But luckily, Daryl’s able to keep you company.

~ Bedtime Stories 🧸

Summary : You and Daryl stumble into a library after being chased by a herd of walkers, forcing the two of you to stay hidden in the building for a long while. Though amongst the chaos, a sweet moment seems to unfold between the two of you.

~ Pretty When I Cry 🖤🧸

Summary : From the very start you had been struggling to have a decent relationship with the Dixon brothers. Trying your best to show your kindness since they arrived. But one day Daryl seems to snap after an incident, sending you spiraling in a flurry of emotions. However, he manages to venture back and pick up the pieces he’s broken.

~ Forever 🖤🧸

Summary : For months now, Daryl has found himself going down a deep rabbit hole of the thoughts in which he cannot escape. His insecurities about his age and your relationship is all he’s able to ponder over. But in the end, you make a promise to stick around forever.

~ Sticks and Stones 🧸

Summary : After arriving in the brand new community, you quickly find it’s not exactly what it chalked up to be. An incident occurs, causing you to snap. But Daryl just so happens to be at the right place at the right time.

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destinysbounty · 5 months

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Huh. I just dug up an old fan-theory i came up with back when i was like 15. And while its definitely way too weak to hold up against any real scrutiny, it at the very least makes for some mildly interesting fanfic fodder so i thought id share it with the greater fandom hivemind.

(Dont come at me about the holes in this theory btw, i was practically a baby when i came up with this and it was one of my first attempts at theory-crafting. Trust me, ive come a long way since then)

Anyway, the theory goes like this:

While in the lighthouse, Dr. Julien builds a replica of his son. But try as he might to get it to turn on, it never actually works. Whatever special spark brought the first Zane to life is inexplicably absent from this one. So he locks it away in his basement, and never gives it the light of day again. This is the reason Dr. Julien never told Zane about Echo, or brought him with them - because at the time, Echo wasnt even functional. Wouldnt even turn on. Was nothing more than a lifeless shell collecting rust in the basement.

So how, then, did Echo become sentient by season 6? Great question! But uhh heres where the theory kinda starts to go off the rails. So buckle up, folks.

Basically the theory goes that when Zane died at the end of s3, his soul still lingered in Ninjago. And his disembodied spirit eventually found itself drawn to a vessel that was similar to the one he'd lost - one his father had built yet long abandoned. But his new body lacked the memory storage contained within his old one, and his resurrection effectively gave him almost complete amnesia. All he could remember was his name and his purpose (to protect those who cannot protect themselves).

Meanwhile, when Titanium Zane says hes a replica, hes actually completely right about that. Some fragments of his code left behind from his visit to the Digiverse gained sentience and inherited Zane's elemental power, creating the Zane we know and love today.

But the original Zane, the one that died fighting the Overlord, actually ended up becoming Echo Zane. Which then would have explained why Zane had so many holes in his memories after being resurrected, and why his sixth sense became much less active as well - he was only made from fragments of the real Zane's code, after all.

Now, as the big smart grownup i am today, i can look back at this theory my baby self had crafted and poke about a million holes into it. But...idk, i always feel nostalgic about this theory in spite of all that. Not just bc it was one of my first fan theories ever, but also bc it would have such fascinating narrative implications if true.

Like, the idea of Mr. E being Echo? Well, if we apply that to the concept of Echo being the Original Zane, then his hatred for Current Zane takes on a whole new dimension. It also gives me a lot of emotions about the whole Ice Emperor situation, as well as Zane's apparent discomfort towards his own statue.

And what kind of position does that put the rest of the gang in? If they had to choose between saving one or the other - the Zane who died for you, or the Zane who lives for you - which one would they choose? Could they choose? How long do you have to love a replica before it starts to feel more authentic than the original? And in that case, who becomes the 'real' zane? The one you love, or the one you lost?

Again. This theory has more holes in it than the Titanic. Cut me some slack, i was an idiot child and also a novice at making theories. But giving credit where its due, i do think it at least raises some interesting concepts. And Ive always casually wondered what would happen if it turned out to be true.

Like i said. Fanfic fodder.

#god i wouldve made that theory...what? almost seven years ago? damnnnnn #wow im so old #ninjago #destiny post

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khruschevshoe · 5 months

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OFMD Critique: Bad Faith, Fandom, and Respect

All right. You know what? Screw it. I saw one post I just cannot ignore anymore that encapsulated all of my problems with the fandom right now. Personal rant incoming.

I understand that there's a nuance to the discussion of season 2 of Our Flag Means Death, and that there are people going a little too far with both their critiques and their support of the show. But oh my God, I'm tired of being straw-manned and made fun of for legitimate critiques of the show.

I just used the block button on someone in this fandom for the first time. Some of you might think I'm overreacting for this, but I saw a post that I could not on any level stand. This person, who I will not name names of, because I'd rather just block them and never deal with their level of bad faith again, took their one legitimate criticism of those of us who critique the show, the back and forth on whether or not Izzy's death was homophobic or not, and used it as the first in a literal list of straw man critiques that no one I've read in the OFMD Critical tag has made (and I check it like once a day bc I like reading meta, sorry), proceeding to absolutely make fun of the legitimate critiques that people have of the show, parodying them in the worst possible ways. They took our legitimate critiques about everything from the sexist handling Zheng Yi Sao's character, the absolute ableism of the finale, the questionable optics of the handling of trauma, etc. and stretched them into things that they very much were not (two examples were that we were crying ableism bc of something to do with seagulls and that we thought the problem in the Stede&Zheng dynamic was the "emotional labor" involved).

Now I'm pretty sure this post was a joke. I *think* it was a joke. But how in the world am I supposed to feel comfortable in the main section of a fandom like this when the comments and replies to this post were full of people agreeing sincerely that this is what the critical section of the fandom is like? How am I supposed to feel when I just see people making fun of me for my analysis of the show? I love this show. I adore season 1 and I'm clearly still making fan related content (moodboards) for season 2 along with my critiques.

Sure, I vibe way more with fanfiction than the actual canon at this point, but I still genuinely engage with the show. And to have the critiques that I made in good faith, regarding issues that I sincerely care about such as ableism, sexism, homophobia, and the handling of trauma, made fun of and taken out of context and straw-manned to their extreme, makes me feel so absolutely unwelcome in this fandom.

Other than keeping up with the couple of fan series that I'm currently still reading, I don't know if I can stay in this fandom any longer. I can't say that I'm excited for the new season if this is the kind of response that any good faith critique of the show is going to get. I can't say that I feel safe or comfortable when there are this many people ready to dog pile on me for a critique I made with ACTUAL TEXTUAL EVIDENCE to back it up.

I would like to thank all the people who have been making excellent critiques of the show. Their meta-analysis is what got me into making my own critiques, which I was nervous about making in any other fandom. I don't think I've in any way tagged them all, but just a few I can remember off the top of my head. Go read their critiques/meta- it's really good!

@sky-fire-forever @carrymelikeimcute @blue-b-bro @bougiebutchbinch @treesofgreen @sixstepsaway @alex51324

And from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has engaged with my mood boards or my critiques or anything else that I've made, as well as the amazing writers and artists in this fandom (such as @ruecrown, @aletterinthenameofsanity, @fool-for-luv, and @possumsmushroom). You guys have kept me going with my love for the show and engaging with it for a while now. Despite the stuff that is making me take a step back now, I really did love this while it lasted! I'm still planning on making a few more mood boards, but other than that, I'm going to take a step back from engaging.

Hope this post can spread enough support/joy your way to counteract the ache I'm currently feeling!

Sincerely,

Ashley (aka @khruschevshoe)

#ofmd critical #fandom critical #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #this show was supposed to be a source of joy and kindness and it become something sour #izzy hands #zheng yi sao #stede bonnet critical #ed teach critical #I'm not tagging them bc I don’t want hate #fandom shenanigans #meta #analysis

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brineffxiv · 7 months

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Aw hell.

Back up a bit.

So there we were, Venat and I, trying to enter Ktisis Hyperborea in order to track down Hermes, when who should we re-encounter...

Haha! It turns out that despite claiming to not believe my story, Emet-Selch has been (with Hythlodaeus' assistance) investigating the same things Venat and I have been. I am so happy about this. I was literally chanting "Yes yes yes!" When Hythlodaeus explained what they had been up to.

*Ahem*

We have uncovered similar facts and reached the same conclusion: since it seems unlikely that Hermes himself wants to bring about the Final Days, he may yet be recruited to help prevent them.

(ha... ha... in retrospect....)

And then Hythlodaeus laughs at him. I adore these two.

It's too late Emet! You've been contaminated with my friendship (highly contagious) now you'll never be rid of me! 12000+ years in the future you will care about me so much you'll plan for me to succeed after I kill you.

...oh no now I'm crying again...

Keep it together, you've got two whole posts to write to catch up with the plot. No way you're fitting this all in one.

Right. Right.

I find Hermes (and Meteion) in the depths of the Hungering Gardens and convince him to meet with our little group outside.

I tell him what I've told them.

Though reluctant to believe my tale, Hermes agrees to theorize based on his knowledge of dynamis. He concludes much as I have already suspected: that it is likely the varying densities of the people which produced the different effects in each Final Days - the warping of creation magics and the transformations of the people themselves.

But Hermes also points out something new: dynamis is itself only an energy, set in motion by emotion, which must have a source.

It would follow then, that this source... it must be a thinking being, in order to have emotions? Mustn't it? It's not a what. It's a who.

And as Hermes points out, the celestial currents form the outermost layers of the star. If the phenomena appeared first where those were weakest, then...

Someone out in the great expanse is trying to kill us.

Ah. But we have only a moment to reflect on this new horrific revelation, when...

Fuck. Oh, fuck. Hermes, you goddamn idiot.

But no, it's not a new "friend", it's Meteion's sisters reporting in. Meteion proceeds to "suspend" her individual consciousness and connect with the shared one.

Ah.

Oh. No.

Something has gone very very wrong.

Aaaaa!

Meteion is screaming inside my head, and only I can hear her. The rest can tell that something has happened, but they cannot see the truth of it.

And then, quite suddenly, she has disappeared.

Hermes explains that this is an ability Meteion has to avoid confrontation; she alters her aetheric density to blend in with her surroundings.

It's likely that I could hear Meteion's voice just then when the others couldn't because Meteion utilizes dynamis to speak in her mind and my comparatively thin aether left me susceptible to it. This means I'm the best chance we've got to track her down. We split up and search.

Danger music is playing! Danger music is playing! This is not a drill!

Several times I encounter Meteion or her voice and several times she runs away. Disappearing again. I glean from the brief snatches of dialogue that she is fighting her programming to compile and make her report. Something about the data her sisters have transmitted has frightened and upset her, and she does not want to present it to Hermes.

Our search party regroups to find a new plan; I will continue tracking Meteion via her voice, and Emet-Selch will follow, prepared to rain aether upon her to disrupt her vanishing trick. The rest of our party will work to blockade any avenues of escape, a task made easier in that it appears Meteion has fled towards Lethe.

Um. Lethe? The river of forgetting in the underworld? Can we uh... Can we not go into there? I have a bad feeling is all.

I am at once delighted and extremely distressed. The danger music is still playing loud and clear.

The plan works perfectly, for good or ill, and Meteion is cornered. Her voice in my mind begs me to protect everyone. She can no longer flee, and commences her report.

Everywhere Meteion has gone she has found the dead and the dying. Her dispassionate voice continues behind our mounting horror.

Emet-Selch points out the obvious problem in the mission Hermes tasked Meteion with: he did not account for a negative result. The premise of Hermes' question - what others live for, what gives their lives meaning - is flawed, if Meteion encounters only those who are dead or do not wish to live.

Venat orders Meteion to cease her report, suspend her mission, and return home. But Meteion is not listening. Emet-Selch determines to take Meteion back to Amaurot, as she will be needed in order to retrieve all of her sisters.

Hermes is still stunned from the revelation of both the answers to his questions and the astounding oversight in his instructions to Meteion. He kneels in front of her and seems about to acquiesce to Emet-Selch's demand, but...

Memories of Meteion and his promises to her fill Hermes' mind, and he resolves to accept the answers in her report, whatever they are.

Suddenly he transforms. Declaring that he will not allow Meteion to be taken from him until she has delivered her full report, he takes her in his arms and flies off towards Ktisis Hyperboreia.

We chase after them as quick as we can, but arriving at Ktisis we find a crowd of confused researchers outside. An alarum is sounding and the facility has been evacuated and put into a state of alert - a field of dampening magics is now in place effecting any who aren't Ktisis researchers.

Nonetheless, we must enter the facility.

OMG OMG OMG

(Of course Emet is a Dark Knight. He fights with love! In this essay I will...)

This dungeon is a downright delight. All the little bits of commentary and characterization!! HHHhhh!!!

Also I somehow managed to get Venat killed by double stacking a mechanic on her during Hermes' fight and Hythlodaeus res'd her. Hythlodaeus, my man, you are a Bard with a resurrection spell: you have got to stop saying how bad at everything you are because you are clearly not.

Yes, Hermes, you are indeed a mad, desperate fool, but you are a mad, desperate fool in serious need of therapy and someone to talk to. Your problems, to me, seem to stem from the fact that you feel so alone. Your compassion is hampered by the fact that you're entirely too caught up in your own head, and unfortunately, you do not seem to be much of an intellectual. You need friends, people you can share your thoughts and feelings with, and who you can bounce ideas off of so you don't send your emotionally fueled, vulnerable bird-daughter out into space with no means to shield herself from negative feelings. Bad idea, that. Also you need to calm the fuck down.

Together, we defeat Hermes, who returns to his humanoid form.

Emet-Selch declares he is taking both Meteion and Hermes into custody on behalf of the Convocation. As Emet moves to do so, Hermes turns to Meteion and apologizes to her, for being unable to hear out her full report. Hermes has just time enough to ask one final question of Meteion: was there happiness to be found in those stars?

Meteion's answer is long and features examples of failed civilizations that appear to hit close to home for each of our ancients. Those probably deserve closer examination, but that tangent got three paragraphs long before I realized there really wasn't time for it, because as she's giving us this answer Meteion is beginning to leak the black smoke that signals dynamis corruption.

A- Ah. AH. Oh. It's not. It's.

It's Meteion.

The thing out there that's trying to kill us.

It's Meteion. The Meteia. Her sisters.

They are the source of the emotions behind the Final Days.

And Hermes...

You. YOU. You...selfish monster. You bloody hypocrite!

"If man can learn to value all life and retain his will to live he will surely find a way to avert his demise"

It's not enough that you throw your precious creations at us to slow our advance through Ktisis, no, in making your judgement on man you in turn curse every life upon this star to share our fate. Or, have you not considered the method by which you sentence us!? Perhaps you are too distracted by your own despair to truly hear what she is saying: Meteion is bringing death to the star itself, not selectively killing off Man. You know this from my own account of what the Final Days will bring.

You're just like the rest of us; how cheap other lives become in the presence of Man, whether you seek to better us or to destroy us. I couldn't see, couldn't fathom, how you could be the Fandaniel I met in the future. But you've been him all along, haven't you? When push comes to shove you crumple under despair and it's not enough to take your own life, no, you'll make everyone suffer with you. Everyone must feel your pain.

Hermes causes the Final Days. In full knowledge of what he will bring, the pain and the suffering. He knows, and he chooses this. Unlike Meteion, who has become corrupted, unlike the Convocation, who will never know against what they struggle, Hermes stares evil in the face and embraces it. A mental breakdown will not absolve you Hermes, in this moment you damn yourself.

No. NO.

I forgot about that thing!

Hermes orders Kairos to rewrite the memories of all within Ktisis Hyperborea, beginning at the point of Emet-Selch's arrival in Elpis. Our memories are to be replaced with a vague recollection of Meteion and her sisters' shared consciousness becoming unstable and exploding, triggering Kairos.

Kairos begins counting down.

A lot of things happen, very quickly, all at once.

With his back to us, Hermes bids Meteion fly to the far edge of the universe where none can reach her.

Venat breaks her bonds and launches herself at Meteion, intent on stopping her, but Hermes blocks the blow and Meteion leaps into the air.

The break in Hermes' concentration appears to have freed the rest of us from our chains, and as Emet-Selch summons his weapon to challenge Hermes, Venat leaps aboard Argos in pursuit of Meteion. As the two shoot skyward, Hythlodaeus leads me to the edge of the platform. He tells me that here, this is their fight to wage, but that I must take the knowledge I have gained here back to my time, to my own battle.

Meteion is rapidly approaching the bounds of the star, with Venat in close pursuit. Just before Venat can catch her, Meteion shapeshifts into an actual bird (Hey! My friend has that minion! What!?) and speeds away into space, but not before Venat manages to tag her with a spell.

Emet-Selch and Hythlodaeus sacrifice themselves to allow Venat and I to escape with our memories intact. Kairos completes its final process as we soar above their heads.

In the final few seconds left to us, Emet-Selch proclaims that he still doesn't believe my story, but, if it must be said, to not squander the legacy he leaves to me. In futility I reach for him, feeling the weight of our history falling into place.

Honestly, I could barely manage to take screencaps of this part I was crying so hard.

But I caught his smile.

...

Outside again, Venat collapses on the grass, exhausted both physically and mentally by what we've just been through.

The spell Venat tagged Meteion with is a tracking spell, one with which we can track her. Though she is already unimaginably distant and beyond our current reach.

Venat uses Argos to check on our friends, now exiting Ktisis Hyperborea, with Hermes in tow.

As expected, they have no memories of the events that Hermes contrived to have us forget, and Hermes himself appears devastated at the loss of Meteion.

Wait, what? No. No no no no! You've just seen, literally just seen, that even when Emet-Selch believes something to be completely ludicrous he will do his due diligence to investigate it. Tell him. Tell them, the Convocation. Even if they don't believe you at least let them know about dynamis, so they can recognize it when the Final Days begins! We cannot reach Meteion where she is now, but you have time. Time to work to stabilize the aether currents. Time to find an alternative solution so that when the Final Days arrive it's not necessary to summon Zodiark. Don't you start this again. This information control.

Leaving aside her asinine view that public knowledge of the contents of Meteion's report would lead to some sort of further catastrophe... Venat is against telling the Convocation the truth because of her fears of what Hermes would do if he learned the truth?? Venat, have you lost your mind? Hermes is one man. The only reason he was able to do what he already did was because we had the deck stacked against us, we confronted him in his seat of power with our own abilities severely limited. It was a very specific set of circumstances!! Outside of these exact conditions what he did would not have worked! Hermes' greatest weapon is our ignorance, that's why he contrived to have us forget in the first place. You are wasting the opportunity our friends sacrificed all to provide us with!

You already know the key thing that Hermes will contribute to resolving the coming crisis! The knowledge of celestial currents! Share this knowledge and you will have no need of him!!

It needn't be senseless and seemingly inevitable at all if you would bloody well tell people! Hope is so much stronger when built on a foundation of knowledge. We cannot stop the Final Days from coming, but you can yet mitigate it. All needn't be lost. You can yet choose to do something different. I beg you, use this time to find a different path.

Please Venat, please do not let your future become my past.

#ffxiv liveblog #rhesh'a tag #meteion #hermes #venat #hydaelyn #emet-selch #hythlodaeus #ktisis hyperborea #I struggled with this post for literal MONTHS #this one and the next #I'm still not happy with it #i should have split it into two so I could add more pictures #for one thing #but it needs to go

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multiplicity-positivity · 10 months

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Overwhelmed? Take a REST!

We’d like to share a coping strategy that we learned in therapy. Lots of systems have been traumatized, are sensitive, or otherwise struggle to deal with Big Emotions. If you find yourself in this position, the REST strategy may work for you!

REST is an acronym that stands for Relax, Evaluate, Set an intention, and Take action. It can help you remove yourself from a stressful or overwhelming situation, process what’s happening, and learn how to act accordingly!

When to use REST?

You can use REST anytime you are feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions. Our system has alexithymia, which makes us unable to distinguish much about our emotions other than whether or not they are Good or Bad. Fortunately, you don’t need to be super in-tuned to your emotions to use REST! You can use this whenever you are feeling bad. If you’re concerned you may hurt yourself or someone else, are close to tears, can’t stop shaking or shouting, or are having trouble catching your breath, these are all signs that you may need to take a step back. Time to put REST into action!

1) Relax

Try and remove yourself from your current situation. This could mean taking a walk or sitting outside, or simply finding a secluded corner to be by yourself for a while. Plan to be away from your current task for 5 minutes.

Once you’re by yourself, take deep breaths to calm down. Think of things that relax you - look at a stimboard, imagine yourself at the beach, pay attention to the world around you, stretch your muscles, or send your friend a quick text. Remember that you cannot think and make decisions as effectively if you are overwhelmed, and calming down is a necessary step to improving your situation.

Different folks will relax in different ways. Feel free to experiment in order to find a way to relax that works for you. Perhaps have one relaxation technique that you can use at home, and another that you can use when you’re out. If you’re trying to relax in a way that’s not working, abandon it and try something different.

2) Evaluate

Once you’ve calmed down and are able to think a bit more clearly, take some time to evaluate your current situation. Ask yourself questions like:

What is happening around me?

What happened that caused me to be overwhelmed?

What am I feeling currently?

Why am I feeling this way?

Don’t judge yourself for your feelings, situation, or initial reactions. Try to simply notice them as indifferently as possible.

3) Set an intention

After you’ve checked in with yourself and evaluated your situation and surroundings, it’s time to set an intention. Here’s where you take some time to think about what you can do or an action you can take to improve what’s going on. Don’t spend time beating yourself up for what has already happened - look ahead to what can be done to make things right. Ask yourself:

What can I do now?

What can be done to improve my situation?

What is my next step?

Plan out what you can do in this moment that will benefit you. Imagine yourself completing the intention you set, and succeeding at it! Try not to set an intention that is unrealistic or unachievable. If you need to break your goal down into smaller steps, that’s okay too!

4) Take action

Finally, it’s time to perform the action you set as your intention. Whether that means apologizing to a coworker after an outburst, keeping your mind busy with a new hobby, breaking your project down into simple steps, making amends with a friend or headmate, or anything else, you have the power to take action when you set intentions! There is no need to rush to action - take your time, go slowly, and be mindful of yourself and your situation as you proceed.

And that’s all there is to it! Remember to use REST any time you feel overwhelmed by your emotions or situation. It’s okay to use REST multiple times a day! This can help you step back from difficult or scary situations, and help you feel more equipped to handle whatever may come your way.

Our system has written down the steps of REST with questions we can ask ourselves on a little note card that we keep in our wallet. Whenever one of us is starting to feel overwhelmed, we take out the card and try to practice REST-ing! It has helped us deal with stress at work, traumatic flashbacks, inner-system strife, and interpersonal conflicts. We hope that learning to REST can help you and your system as much as it’s helped us!

Thanks so much for reading! Remember to treat yourself and your system with kindness and compassion, and have a wonderful day!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

#coping skills #dbt #dbt skills #rest

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aknolan · 1 year

Note

ok so can you explain how nnd have more buildup then other ships (not a rant)

Is the "not a rant" like, an instruction for me? Because I am very bad at not going off on a rant but the good news is I'm not currently interested in giving the full overview anyways so I'll stick to the main points of their buildup.

This is going backwards a little but looking at volume 9, I mean, it's pretty clear? Penny's death is a big part of Ruby's current breakdown and it's because Penny is so deeply important to Ruby. And when you consider how different parts of the scene with Neo's constructs are framed? When not!Penny starts talking, everything goes quiet. No fighting, no running, just not!Penny talking to Ruby, and Ruby listening. This is where you put the love interest in a scene all about an antagonist using the protagonist's emotional weak spots!

Neo was trying so hard to hit Ruby where it hurts, and all the other attempts include physical violence, but this? This just just emotional. This is what Neo thinks will hit the hardest, and from a meta-perspective it's what the writers think is the most meaningful part.

Going back though, I feel like it's a little bit obvious to tell how important Ruby is to Penny, right? Like, we all know that? First friend, first to treat her like a person, etc. etc.

The other way around, up to v3 there's not that much for how important Penny is to Ruby, really. I'll accept that. There's nothing necessarily distinguishing Ruby's grief over being too late to save Penny from her grief over being too late to save Pyrrha later either. But v7 is when Penny returns, and it's interesting! Really interesting!

This is where Penny starts getting consistently framed as Ruby's love interest. It's like that one post about her return in v7e1, "goddamn anime love interest framed by the fucking moon", if I'm quoting it right. And the v7 intro showing an image of a very happy Penny at the end of the phrase "in time you'll find through love your power just shines" is also some love interest framing. Then of course the election night episode pairs up a couple of characters, Ren and Nora of course, Blake and Yang going dancing, and then... Ruby and Penny hanging out. And of course the repeated important conversations happening, and the thing where Ruby almost fell asleep on Penny's shoulder which is just like, such a ship tease moment.

But v7 isn't that clear about it, so I get if that's not very convincing. I think it's more than any other ship has but the really big stuff gets there in v8.

The volume where they really Cannot Stop Hugging, and where Ruby promises they'll see eachother again soon, and Ruby's silver eyes are (not for the first time!) suddenly able to activate when Penny's in danger, and Ruby holds onto Penny so tightly - so afraid to let go because something is wrong and she can't lose Penny, and they all use the relic of creation to save Penny before they do anything else (and yeah I hate that scene but it's meaningful and I won't deny that it's meaningful), and yeah saving Penny is the theme of the volume because she was the winter maiden but for Ruby it's not about that. She can't lose Penny.

And then she loses Penny and she literally passes out the moment she finds out.

To bring it all back down to something simple, when the antagonist torments the protagonist with someone close to her saying the words "can you imagine what that's like? To be completely and utterly failed, time and again, by someone who meant the world to you?" after which the protagonist is more distraught then we've seen her all volume, in a volume all about how distraught she is all the time? That person meant the world to the protagonist too.

So yeah, I'm inclined to say they've got more buildup than any noncanon ships, you are free to point something out to me if there's a ship with a ton of buildup that I'm somehow missing but like... I'd be shocked.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #ask #anon #nuts and dolts #penny polendina #ruby rose #didn't succeed at not ranting. oh well #though I'd call it rambling because ranting implies being upset about something

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naffeclipse · 11 months

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More about Mer!SJ time! >:D

Aaahh, I simply cannot stop thinking about what comes after the final confrontation!

Like so many things! The image of Eclipse suddenly realizing what he's done, hearing and seeing his own trident going into Sun, his brother looking down at the weapon and slowly looking up at him in pain, hurt, incredulous of what Eclipse just did.

How where Eclipse usually relishes in the smell of blood in the water, right now it means to him what it means to most people. Death, anguish, grief, fear.

The brief but no doubt intense argument of wanting to reach out to Sun but being furiously stopped by the vigilante and his other brother who might be directing at him the worst look he has ever given him, before they have to accept that there is no time to argue if they want Sun to make it.

The feeling of dejavu at the urgency of hurrying towards the surface as it's the only hope of saving a member of his family. Seeing Sun slowly fading away right in his grasp as they go.

The conflicting feelings of seeing many mer people, no doubt a lot who have been helped by his brothers, rush to the help of a twilight mer, and it's a slight relieve because Sun might make it, but also indignation because why did they not help her too? How dare they all suddenly act the good guys when it was much too late for those who needed it before?

And then the wait.

He must be known around the reef. Moon hides his resemblance for a reason. So it's not only dealing with the wariness around him which would be delightful some other time, but now there's too many eyes on him at the worst moment. When he's unsure and afraid his brother will die. He's too exposed and among those he loathes here in the light.

Then there's knowing the wrong move will get him kicked out and unable to know the fate of his brother, the vigilante pointing a trident at him at all times. There's Moon's scathing looks, full of accusation and distrust. One of his brothers who begged him to just leave the life he kept choosing and come with them, now seemingly looking at him like there's nothing he wants more than for Eclipse to go back and stay in the darkness like he's always done.

Maybe at one point when Sun has passed the worst of it, Eclipse finds a moment to slip in unnoticed, to check in on Sun while no one is in the room. And he has to see him, covered in every measure they had to stop the blood, breathing weak, like his chest is barely able to expand enough, like inhaling the clean water he needs to keep going is currently the hardest task for him.

And maybe he reaches for him. But Sun, in his semi conscious state both from the blood loss and the medicine he was given, minutely flinches back. Because the last time he saw his older brother with his hand extended towards him, what followed was sharp awful pain.

And there might be a twinge of indignation in Eclipse at first. Because this is him. How could Sun ever be afraid of him. Afraid that he would hurt- And then remember that he did. He did.

Words from long ago, and an instruction to protect his brothers echo in his mind as he looks at Sun fighting for his very life.

Emotions he hasn't experienced or that he thought himself above of for years and years now flood him.

I do have to wonder how even approaching after that would work. You said Sun still wants Eclipse in his life and it's what might be keeping the vigilante from trying to figure out a way to spear Eclipse into a wall and give him a last diminute chance to fix the mess he made. But there's also Moon who refuses to have him close. I'm veeeery interested in what might make Moon accept any attempts from him! Because hurting the vigilante in his pursue of them was already a betrayal knowing how much Sun and Moon cared for them. This? This was crossing a line both brothers were at least somewhat certain would never be crossed.

AHHH CHAOTIK I AM EATING UP EVERY WORD OF THIS IT'S SO GOOOOOOOD!!!

It's really hard to imagine it going well after such a devasting blow, but, Eclipse made his bed, he's gonna lie in it now.

Once the sand settles and Sun is tucked safely back into their coral reef home, on heavy medicines, and no longer in danger of bleeding out, that's when Moon lets Eclipse have it.

The vigilante keeps watch from the passageway between where Sun rests and where the fight unfolds. Moon wants Eclipse gone. Eclipse refuses to leave until he knows Sun is going to be okay. Moon attacks Eclipse.

It's freezing waters as the two brothers duke it out. Moon is completely undone by this—Eclipse is their big brother. He was their protector. He cared for them and raised them when their parents were gone. It is absolutely unfathomable that Eclipse could do this to Sun.

Eclipse lets Moon get it all out, taking his blows and wearing him down until they're both exhausted and the chamber is a wreck. The vigilante simply stays on guard, trident in hand, ready to finish Eclipse like they so desperately want to—they just need a reason, a better excuse to give Sun when he asks for Eclipse.

Moon punches Eclipse and his hand catches on his venomous spines framing his face, several breaking off as they puncture Moon's flesh. In a knee-jerk reaction, Eclipse rips off the nautical shell on Moon's head where it's thrown and shattered against the wall. The vigilante reacts badly, but they're quickly told that Eclipse's venom won't hurt Moon because they're blood-related. Which is great news among the recent damage done.

The water temperature drops below freezing, and Moon and Eclipse look at each other, floating in the wreckage of what's supposed to be their family.

That's when the vigilante persuades Moon to go and stay with Sun. He better not have been woken up by their battle. Eclipse glares as Moon disappears, and the vigilante prods Eclipse towards a lightless chamber in the coral reef home. Eclipse goes. The vigilante studies his broken quills while they explain something. They make it clear that if Sun wasn't so concerned about Eclipse, even after he skewed him, they would have killed him. They still will if Eclipse doesn't stop and doesn't control himself. They won't watch him hurt his brothers anymore, in any way. The vigilante is done with Eclipse.

Eclipse says that Sun and Moon have their mother's eyes. The vigilante doesn't know what prompted that. Eclipse says he can't leave until Sun is recovered. He has to survive.

The vigilante asks how Eclipse how could do it. How could he react so terribly and hurt his brother?

Eclipse asks in a soft voice how the vigilante could have killed a mer-child, his golden gaze burning through the sunlight zone mer.

That ends their conversation in a snap of tailfins as the vigilante abruptly leaves Eclipse in the dark chamber and returns to Sun's side. They tend to Moon's bleeding knuckles and whisper about finding him another nautical shell. They carefully watch Sun's chest rise and fall with weak breaths of water and pray that no more red wisps leak into the chamber from his many bandages.

#hahah i have fish sleuths brain rot :)#chaotik i'm biting your ask so hard right now ahhh!!!#it's everything!#sorry i kind of just continued where you left off but ahhhh yeah #eclipse is gonna squirm and accept his consequences and deal with his brothers' anger and angst #he's gonna repent with blood and suffering #sleuth jesters mermay style #pearl eye #chaotikanvas

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silverspadesss · 6 months

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i think the pacing in ep 7 definitely could have been better, and i really think those missing two episodes in comparison to last season aren’t doing it any favours.

but ed and stede are ‘whim-prone’. that’s already been established. and they’re very new into this relationship and both still quite immature, and i do have faith that everything’s going to be fine.

stede was bullied as a child and has felt inadequate and left out his entire life, and now he’s being recognised and celebrated as a pirate. he feels like he fits in now. and for someone who’s spent his entire life feeling like the exact opposite, it all comes crashing down on him at once. and predictably, he doesn’t know how to handle it, and so he gets arrogant and a little selfish. stede is currently caught up in the rush of being the person that he thinks he always wanted to be, and being liked for what he sees right now as who he really is. and now with the english upon them and much bigger things at stake, hopefully he’ll be able to realise this. hopefully he can snap out of this high caused by sudden social esteem and realise what - and who - truly makes him happy.

and meanwhile ed doesn’t want to be a pirate anymore. just like when stede left him on the dock, his feelings of not being worthy of stede and the life that stede apparently now wants to live are bubbling up again, and we’ve seen how in tune with his emotions edward is and how much things can affect his mood and self-esteem (and that’s not a scathing endowment of his character at all), as someone who’s still working on making himself feel lovable. that’s why he wanted to take it slow, and that in my eyes is why he made that snap decision to leave. because he’s impulsive. he’s whim-prone, as much as stede is for immediately changing himself for the sake of feeling good about himself and admired by people. and right now he’s crashed from an incredible high - rebuilding his relationship with stede and the crew and becoming the person he wants to be - to an incredible low - suddenly feeling out of place again and that who he wants to be doesn’t fit with stede.

and to his mind that means of course stede is going to grow tired of him. he’s going to leave him again. if they had a proper conversation, which i hope they will, ed would realise this isn’t true. but as someone who suffers from extreme anxiety i recognise that thought pattern building, and it’s had time to build and fester inside ed’s brain because while stede has been basking in his fame, ed has been alone with his thoughts. and now those niggling fears have in his mind turned to absolute unwavering truths - that he is not good enough for stede bonnet anymore. that stede does not need him. and so he must leave before he gets left, as he cannot go through that heartbreak again.

there is probably a better way to word this and i am aroace and know nothing about relationships so bear that in mind but to everyone panicking about david pulling a good omens on us, it’s much less likely to happen. they just need to communicate, and hopefully realise that being with each other is what allows them to grow as people. their relationship is what helps them become the person they both want to be, not superficial fame or emotionally distancing themselves for what they perceive to be as for their own good.

tl;dr - there is still hope for stede and ed’s relationship to turn out happy and healthy by the end of this season. keep your hopes up, fandom. it’s not over yet, and their relationship is far from ruined forever.

#our flag means death spoilers #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd #gentlebeard #edward teach #stede bonnet #again idk how much sense this makes #i’ve just seen too many people terrified about their relationship and it being ‘ruined’ so i thought i’d give my two cents #long post

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j-nipper-95 · 9 months

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Fic Rec (plus late Six Sentence Sunday) Monday!

Ok, so I’m late posting this, but oh well. It’s being posted!

I’m not sure if my tumblr notifications are working properly at the moment (I know I missed at least one tag last week, so if I’ve missed your tags the last couple of weeks I’m sorry, I’m not ignoring you, tumblr is acting up!) but I’m still alive. I’m back, and I have words to share!

July’s Camp NaNoWriMo has been amazing for getting words down for COTTA, and I am finally back on track with following the El Dorado plot line again! I managed to double the word count goal I had by 1am this morning, so all in all, a very productive month. So without further ado, here’s six(teen) sentences from that! Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy @theearlgreymage and @hushed-chorus (and anyone else if I’ve missed your posts!!)

Baz POV

“Get in the back,” he grunts, nodding at the truck. “I’ll cover you.”

“With what, Snow?”

“Just do it.”

No. I won’t leave him.

“They’ll shoot you on sight,” I say (I plead, I almost beg. Don’t make me face the thought of losing you, Simon). “I can’t get over there without your help,” I add. If there’s one thing I can count on right now, it’ll be Simon’s inner heroism.

“Bet you can,” he says, without thinking.

“Two shillings say I can’t.”

The challenge in my voice is enough to make him turn to glare at me. And knowing how much it irritates him, I cock an eyebrow and tilt my chin up to look down my nose at him.

Snow opens his mouth to argue but snaps it shut when we hear the Now Next almost at the corner we’ve just run around.

“You’re on.”

And then Jas also tagged me in a fic rec post, so here’s a few I’ve been enjoying recently!

Someone Wicked by @artsyunderstudy ([E, 53.9k, Carry On, complete]

I had the chance to beta read this fic with @cutestkilla and oh my God it was a rollercoaster of emotions and tender smut and I loved every single second of it!

Normal AU, complicated family relationships, religious guilt, chronic pain rep, escort Simon, this fic had me hooked from the second Ashton pitched it to me! It’s angsty and soft and emotional in all of the ways we’ve come to expect from her fics, and it ticks all of the boxes.

Ashton managed to tackle some really tough emotions and relationship dynamics in this one, and I don’t really want to say any more and risk spoiling any of it.

Check it out if you haven’t yet, but just remember it is explicit with plenty of on page smut/sex scenes!

More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl [E, 19.9k, Carry On, incomplete]

This fic updated today. It was a good day!

Simon and Baz are roommates, and having survived lockdown together their feelings are becoming much more than platonic. Both of them like the other, but neither is willing to compromise their friendship.

Another Normal AU, this time ‘friends with benefits’, featuring lots of unhealthy coping mechanisms, a sexually promiscuous Simon (which I for one am loving!), Baz as a writer, and some new tags that were added today (trigger warnings for mentions of past ab*se and panic attacks).

This fic is updating currently, and I cannot wait to see what Stacy has in store for the boys! (Again, it’s explicit, so minors begone!)

What Remains After the Storm by @hushed-chorus [M, 86.3k, Carry On, complete]

When I tell you this fic had (and still has) me in a fricken chokehold, that’s an understatement! I still think about this fic on a daily basis, and Demi’s writing is simply stunning.

A fantasy/historical fiction(ish) AU, with fae, curses, much pining, and plenty of cute goats.

Simon is a goatherd on the edge of a fishing town, and while he’s not entirely trusted by the townsfolk, he’s not outright despised either. He works the land, and always pays his tithe to the fae. Until he pulls something from the ocean. Or rather, someone. When Baz flees his fae captors and returns home, he and Simon have to work together to help him remember his humanity.

This fic. Oh. My. GOD! Every update had me on the edge of my seat. Do yourself a favour, and go and read this fic. Especially as Demi is considering writing more in the same AU!

Strictly Professional by @palimpsessed [E, 38.5k, Carry On, complete]

This fic completed a couple of days ago, and I didn’t have time to finish reading it until this morning, and my god was it worth the wait!

Simon is a new recruit at Baz’s firm, and he’s joined the company just in time for the professional conference. But not in time to get his own hotel room. Cue only one bed forced proximity fast burn get together!

This fic pays off so quickly in the best way possible! The emotions Pal has managed to get into such a short space of time for the boys is incredible, and had me so invested in this relationship! Baz trying to remain professional, Simon’s unabashed flirting, neither of them managing to keep their hands off each other. Again, every single box ticked!

The Selkie and his Boy by @hushed-chorus [T, 21.8k, Carry On, complete]

It’s very rare that I pick up a T or G rated SnowBaz fic. I usually go for M and above, but once again, Demi had me hook line and sinker with this one.

Every year, Baz and his family holiday in Cornwall (can I just say how much I love Demi’s writing about Cornwall? It’s so nice to see the South West represented in fic!! As a Dorset girl who holidayed a lot in Cornwall as a kid, I love this so much!). Everything goes to plan … most of the time. One year, he meets a boy with bronze hair and blue eyes that utterly captivates him, and who he expects to spend the whole summer getting to know.

But the boy never shows up the next day. Or the next. Or indeed for the next several years.

Flash forward seven years, and an embittered Baz finally meets Simon again, and finds out why Simon never came back all those years ago.

An AU where Simon is a selkie, Baz is still a vampire, and Mordelia is unabashedly sassy!

Tagging (for both SSS and fic recs): @artsyunderstudy @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @aristocratic-otter @palimpsessed @larkral @orange-peony @dragoneggos @prettylightsbigcity @stardustasincocaine @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ebbpettier @martsonmars @erzbethluna @hushed-chorus

#six sentence sunday #it’s late but it’s here #also #fic recs #snowbaz #artsyunderstudy #hushed-chorus #palimpsessed #cotta 2023 #the road to el dorado au #1920s snowbaz shenanigans

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poisonnxkki · 2 years

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Witchcraft & Ableism☀️

What is Ableism?

Recently, I have been seeing this reoccurring theme in a lot of spiritual/witchcraft spaces and I feel compelled to write about why I believe this line of thinking is problematic. In many new-age spiritual spaces, we encounter these discussions on high vibrational vs low vibrational. Personally, I think the idea that people are either high vibrational (& therefore good) or low vibrational (& therefore bad) is complete bullsh*t. I remember I was in a metaphysical shop and a middle aged women approached these two young girls (who appeared to be in high school or around that age). The woman began having a conversation with them and everything seemed to be fine. The woman then went on to say things like "I can tell you two girls are high vibrational people" and "not everyone who comes in here is like that". Not only was I uncomfortable overhearing that but the girls seemed to be uncomfortable as well. It became a very awkward situation very quickly.

So what is ableism and how are these terms/ideologies contributing? According to google, ableism is discrimination in favour of able-bodied people, but it doesn't stop there. Individuals who are considered able-bodied may also suffer from other disabilities that are "invisible" to those around them and to discriminate against those people would also be considered ableist. The reason terms like high-vibrational and low-vibrational bug me so much is because they imply that those who struggle with emotions that are considered low-vibrational (anger, sadness, etc.) are somehow bad or less than those who appear to be happy (or in an emotional state considered high-vibrational). We see this problem when we're talking about auras as well. Aura reading is an extremely valid practice but when untrained individuals approach strangers and tell them about their aura without consent, it's problematic. Especially if the comments that come out of their mouths are used to instil fear in the recipient. Having darker colours in your aura (black being a famous one for instilling fear) is not a bad thing. It does not make you a bad person and it won't tell you much other than your current emotional state especially if read by someone who doesn't know what their doing.

I want everyone to feel like they belong in this community and that they can express themselves and their opinions (considering that's exactly what I'm doing by creating this blog). I just find is frustrating and disheartening when I hear discussions like I mentioned above. I am aware that the woman likely meant what she said as a compliment to those girls but I don't believe in putting others down in order to boost someone up. I also don't think it's right to tell impressionable individuals (especially minors) your opinion on their spiritual health if you haven't gotten their consent or any training.

What Affect Does it Have on the Community?

These terms have a devastating effect on our community. They make individuals fearful or feel excluded and create a discriminating environment. In a space that claims to be where "black sheep" and "quirky individuals" are able to find a place they belong, it feels very hypocritical. Even though a part of me really wants to completely blame new-age spirituality, I know that witchy spaces are not entirely innocent either. I have seen that people are trying to improve the community by providing things like low energy rituals but it has not erased the discrimination that individuals with disabilities face (especially if they are in the public eye). This type of discrimination can push people further into their traumas instead of pushing them towards healing and growth, which may be the reason they turned towards spirituality/ witchcraft in the first place (in order to heal).

I know several creators on TikTok (which has a very large witchcraft community) who have spoken openly about their struggles with their specific disabilities. Some have physical disabilities and cannot walk without the help of a crutch or wheelchair, other struggle with chronic illness. It also not uncommon to find a witch who has some form of mental illness. The pressure on the creators to keep pumping out content (despite how their feeling) is toxic in and of itself. Not to mention the comments sections of some of their posts can be even worse.

How to Combat Against it?

Honestly, I really don't know if there are easy ways or a list of things I can provide but I will say this. If we want to create a space that is accepting of everyone then we need to have more compassion and understanding for others in the community. Not everyone has the same access to resources, not everyone has the same physical abilities or the energy to set up complex rituals. I think listening to disabled individuals in the community is a great place to start but I also think examining some of the terms we're using is important too. Bottom line is I want to do my best to make my page a space that is both accessible and accepting and I hope that the entire witchy community can continue to fight against all forms of discrimination.

*All images are from Pinterest*

🖤Check out the following TikTok creators if you want to support disabled & chronically ill creators: ChaoticWitchAunt, AnastasiaMoonGirl (both chronically ill), RavensAndCrow & Dark.Moon.Witch (both speak about their experiences using walking aids)

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hetchdrive · 3 months

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I think we’re reading May We Be Spared to Meet on Earth at roughly the same time and are currently at roughly the same parts. I just wanted to say I think that’s very cool of us 😌 Do you have any favorite letters so far?

You're right that is very cool of us! Let me just uhhh look through my notes...

So far my favorite letters have been Goodsir's letter to his dad which I reblogged from you, for the reasons in the post. Goodsir is so bluntly endearing, somehow. He seems very young. Oh I've just looked up how old Goodsir was when the expedition vanished and he was 28. Oh alright then. I'm emotional about this.

Other favorite letter so far was unexpectedly one of John Irving's, to his sister-in-law Catherine. This paragraph really hit me as like, a premonition of the upcoming disaster:

"I intended to write something to amuse you, but I find I cannot help being serious. Everything around me, and every duty I am engaged in, tend at present to make me so-- I mean all keep me so much alive the feeling of a long separation from those near and dear to me. Even in writing I am reminded that a terrible long pause of anxious suspense is before me, when I can only hope, without the prospect of tidings of good or ill. So, my dear Katie, do not blame me that you should have been, whilst reading the mass of scribbling, obliged to banish your usual smiles. I will write you yet again, so I shall not take a very formal farewell of you at this time. My most brotherly love to my dear Lewis. --Yours very affectionately, John Irving."

Irving also sent back to England a number of drawings. Several men did but Irving's seem to be the best of the ones included in the book. Also, of two skeletons returned to England at the time of the McClintock expedition, one of them was identified as Irving by the presence of a maths medal next to the body, which I find deeply endearing. This book has made me a big Irving fan, honestly. Didn't have any strong feelings about him before starting reading this and now I'm like ough... my guy.

My other observation so far is that it seems like Franklin was unfairly characterized in the show, as his letters so far paint a picture of a fairly cautious man.

It is Fitzjames who is the king of hubris.

There are multiple letters where the endnotes make note of how the things he is saying shows he does not have a good understanding of the Arctic and that's really interesting to me from the perspective of seeing show!Crozier and Fitzjames' relationship conflict early on as coming from a place of Crozier's experience vs Fitzjames' support of Franklin's dismissal of him, with the idea (I had always thought) being that Franklin thinks his feelings of optimism and belief God will see them through are substitutes for dealing with the material realities of that place. And like, no! Actually that should have been Fitzjames, going off these letters! But it makes sense from a character writing perspective. Foolish, foolish man. Excited to see how my opinion of this evolves as I continue to read.

Also, Fitzjames' aggressive confidence in repeatedly pestering John Barrow Jr. about whether he's gotten the position or not is honestly kind of inspiring in a "if this man from the 1840s can speak like he knows anything when he clearly doesn't I myself should step up game in these job interviews". There's one particular letter that absolutely floored me, and it was the 11th of February one:

"In case of Crozier's appointment I send you a letter to Beaufort asking him to try for Le Vesconte which pray send at once as soon as you know I am not to go-- if I am appointed tear it up-- .... Mind I am in confident expectations of the Second Ship in Franklin's expedition nothing else is worth having." [I have used italics where there were underlines]

Nothing else is worth having. Absolutely awful, vainglorious man. This has made me dearly want to write my own version of my headcanon first meeting of "Fitzjames puffs himself up, fails to impress Crozier, feels rejected about it and forms a grudge" because holy shit, he is actually so much worse than I already thought. Also because "nothing else is worth having" would be a banger title.

I do appreciate that Fitzjames seems to have been a man who is eager to lift other men up, as this is not the only time he makes suggestions to Barrow Jr. about appointments and promotions-- if he was obsessed with status for himself he was at least trying to lift his friends up, as well. Pity this doesn't extend to Crozier! Would have been a very different expedition if it did!

Wow, long post which I took so long to write, my bad. What are your own favorite letters so far?

#crancisfrozier #asks #may we be spared to meet on earth #the terror

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