#which i do not recommend! its a fucked up little tune :)

[bucky-h0e]

Warnings: Bucky and Alpine being cute, a lot of song lyrics written out, Bucky being forced to deal with Alpine's dramatics, Alpine gets in her feels, Alpine can sing, Bucky having headaches, mentions of Bucky dancing

Serendipity Masterlist

Alpine 'introducing' Bucky to music (AKA. Alpine Aggressively Breaking Out Into Song)

Alpine is little ball of sunshine and the type of person who uses music to reflect her mood

she has a little collection of speakers that she uses, each with their different strength

bucky normally hears it before he gets out the lift to their floor

its nice

it gives him a clue as to how Alpine's day was

and it's a regular thing to expect

if bucky had one complaint

just one

it would be that Alpine HAS to sing the songs

she wasn't a bad singer

no she was pretty good to be honest

it was that it was always so aggressive

it could be a love song and she's staring him down aggressively singing her feelings towards him

she's emotionally constipated in that department so it's the only time she actually has the guts to do it

the first instance of her aggressive love was a few days after they'd officially met

bucky was still going to therapy at this stage and to be honest he fucking needed it after this incident

he had just been watching tv in his bare ass apartment, sat on the floor when he heard the undeniable thump thump of one of Alpine's speakers coming through the door

Alpine ever the respectful young adult came barging in, a small portable speaker in her hand, oversized clothing and messy ass hair

she's obviously having a grand time, singing her songs and Bucky had stood up so quickly by now

she had warned him that now they were 'friends', she'd be barging in on him

to which he replied

"I will kill you."

and she simply said

"Bet"

now he hadn't actually done anything, only been ready to defend himself

every time it happened, he was worried he's on day actually hurt her

this girl fucking laughs whenever he gets in a defensive stance and claimed its 'exposure therapy' - bullshit he'd checked with his therapist but she was no help because she just teased him about having a soft spot for the youth

Alpine had been cleaning her place, when 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield came blaring through her speakers

she listened to the full song first, happily singing and cleaning when she wondered how Bucky would react to the happy tune

this man is so grumpy and hates life and people - he needs to feel the rain on his skin (pun definitely intended)

so rather than politely recommend the song

Alpine will force this poor man to listen to her song recommendations

"Staring-"

"Alpine what the fuck?!"

"-AT THE BLANK PAGE BEFORE YOU, OPEN UP THE DIRTY WINDOW, LET SUN ILLUMINATE THE WORDS THAT YOU CANNOT FIND REACHING-"

ya'll remember the video of the kid in the car?

yeah, that Alpine in this moment

Bucky's bare ass apartment means that she can have a little dance around whilst she (very beautifully in her opinion) serenades this 106 year old grouch

"-FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN-"

she's started his tap, put her hand under the water and started flicking it at him

(if it had been raining she would have forced his head out the window lets be honest)

"-NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOU, ONLY YOU CAN LET IT IN. NO ONE ELSE, NO ELSE CAN SPEAK THE WORDS ON YOUR LIPS-"

dramatic head turns and aggressive pointing at the very confused man

honestly, he's watching this little show thinking that if HYDRA had forced him to watch this he probably would have just behaved himself so that he didn't have to see it ever again

"are you done?"

"NO!"

replays the song until bucky has a noise complaint from their downstairs neighbours

Alpine has to buy dinner as an apology

Bucky defo tells Raynor in their next session

"She sounds like a nice kid, James."

"She's a psycho, Doc."

Alpine loves all songs, especially upbeat songs or songs that have a certain

spark

something that she can never forget or get out of her head if it randomly shuffles onto her playlist

case and point

Gwen Stefani's "The Sweet Escape".

Akon's 'woo-hoo, yee-hoo's?

yeah, she's screaming those

Bucky is terrified

one Halloween, Alpine and her friends decided to dress up as Bucky, Sam and Steve for their party

she's painted her left arm intricately to look like Bucky's using pictures she had of him

since it was hosted at Alpine's place, Sam and Bucky decided to pop over

Sam wanted to show Bucky what a party of a twenty year old looked like in the 21st century

man was traumatised

not by the loud music and LED flashing lights

the mess or the mass of bodies in barely there clothing

no

it was Alpine, dressed as him, singing this song

"IF I COULD ESCAPE!"

she is definitely drunk - so so so drunk

"AND RECREATE A PLACE AS MY OWN WORLD. AND I COULD BE YOUR FAVOURITE GIRL! PERFECTLY TOGETHER, AND TELL ME BOY NOW WOULDN'T THAT BE SWEET!"

her friend (dressed as Sam) was cheering her on as she stood on her coffee table, singing and swinging her hips to the song

Sam was laughing so fucking hard, he thought his lungs would actually collapse

"I KNOW I'VE BEEN A REAL BAD GIRL!"

Bucky could die

he would love to die right now

especially with Sam asking him if he'd been a bad girl

if the ground swallowed him up right now

he would be happy

Sam decides that he too could die after Alpine's friend joins her on the table, hand on her hip as they start shouting those god damn woo hoo's

it was on this day that Bucky decided that he wasn't particularly fond of this song

But Sam has already made it his ringtone and has a picture of a drunk, smiling Alpine dressed in this Halloween costume hugging a less than impressed but soft Bucky set as his profile picture.

the song came on again later in the night after the party had ended, leaving the trio and Alpine had convinced Sam to sing it with her

they gave Bucky a concert which he loved (despised)

he is still heavily traumatised from seeing a female version of himself screaming these lyrics

used it as blackmail against Sam

"One wrong move and I show the world that Captain America has been a real bad girl."

now Alpine adores upbeat, songs that she can sing and dance to

she will dance in the street quite happily (she's got the scary guard dog privilege that is Bucky Barnes)

but if theres one thing that would drive her

f e r a l

it's the opportunity to be dramatic

she could be having a great day

her relationships are going great

she got a promotion

she's making bank

it doesn't matter how good the day is going

when certain songs come on

suddenly she's just come home from a war that she's barely made it out alive from

her boyfriend of 5 years has cheated on her and she's been kicked out of her apartment

this girl sings the heartbreak like it's actually happening

These are the times that Bucky is actually worried that he's befriended a psychopath

it'll be a normal day, Bucky would be coming back from morning run

he'd introduced it just to get some sort of routine in his day

catching his breath, he'd do a little knock on Alpine's door before turning to unlock his own door

they'd started knocking to let the other know if they were leaving or if they were back from a place

they can't really place when they started it - but it made them both relax knowing that the other got home safely

Alpine, ever the nosey neighbour, opens the door

headphones on, shouting right at the poor man

"WE COULD HAVE HAD IT AAALLLL!"

"wHAT THE HELL!"

"ROLLING IN THE DEEEEPPPP"

"Alpine seriously, one of these days my instincts are going to kick in before I can stop them and you will get smacked"

"YOU HAD MY HEART INSIDE OF YOUR HANDS"

"you're not even listening to me"

she's kneeling on the ground as if bucky had just betrayed her in battle

"AND YOU PLAYED IT, TO THE BEAT"

Bucky deadass leaves her there and closes the door on her, sick of her shit or the day

but he's laughing to himself when he hears her still singing her little heart out form her apartment

the neighbours are looking out their door wondering who let the young girl move in

she was normal before Barnes moved in

that's a lie, she was just anti-social

and she stole most of their coupons so no wonder her neighbours didn't talk to her

and god forbid she go through an actual break up

she's this annoying with imagined scenarios, imagine if someone actually cheated on her or broke up with her just out of the blue

she's lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling singing her feels until her friends have to call Bucky in because none of their tactics are working

this is the ONLY time Bucky will actually play any of her music

she is definitely a swiftie, i feel like she has a specific playlist just for her taylor moments

she tries to get Bucky into it but he likes 40s music

also tries to get Sam into it and it works

he's a secret swiftie and no one can tell me otherwise

most of the songs she pushes onto Bucky are Taylor Swift songs, they're the ones that get stuck in her head the most often

she also requests them when she's drunk so you can imagine Sam driving her and Bucky back to their hotel after a Wilson cookout

she definitely had a few too many, requesting Taylor Swift the whole way back

Bucky is shaking his head because he imagines this is what looking after an actual child is like

Sam relents, starts playing her playlist

Alpine is loving life, drunk in the back of the car, in her feels and little imaginary scenarios that surface whenever she listens to music

"I'M DRUNK IN THE BACK OF THE CAR AND I CRIED LIKE A BABY COMING HOME FROM THE BAR! SAID I'M FINE BUT THAT WASN'T TRUE, I DON'T WANNA KEEP SECRETS JUST TO KEEP YOU AND I SNUCK IN THROUGH THE GARDEN GATE, EVERY NIGHT THAT SUMMER JUST TO SEAL MY FATE"

"AND I SCREAM FOR WHAT EVER ITS WORTH I LOVE YOU AIN'T THAT THE WORST THING YOU EVER HEARD-"

Bucky has to physically take a breath, watching her in shock and amusement as she belts they lyrics out, drunk out of her mind

is definitely shocked when Sam also joins in

"-HE LOOKS UP GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL!"

he is definitely impressed in times like this

but it's also times like this where he gets headaches and songs stuck in his head because Alpine doesn't shut up when she's drunk

honestly, she's awful (more on that later)

but he like's this version more than any other version of drunk Alpine

her other songs of choice include a lot of suggestive songs

surprisingly, they've have had long drunken discussions about these songs

shes drunk

he's unfortunately sober, wishing he had some of that good asgardian alcohol

"So he's saying he could fuck 24/7, seven days a week, which is why I think he's actually a super soldier."

"There are only two super soldier's in the world kid, you're looking at one of them." And i'm not sharing any aspect of my sex life with you."

"yeah but if there were going to be another one he would definitely be an option."

"Yeah whatever kid, just go to sleep"

"besides, you don't have a sex life. you got no game with the ladies. fuckin nerd."

"rude."

"Sorry, you're right, even the nerdiest nerd has more game than you."

"I will suffocate you in your sleep"

"STEVE ROGERS HAD MORE GAME THAN YOU AND HE JUMPS OUT OF WINDOWS WITH A GLORIFIED DINNER PLATE"

what did he do to deserve this type of abuse

honestly

and god forbid if she goes through a break up

the next time she's being dramatic, her and Bucky are chilling in his place

she's doing some shopping on her laptop, headphones in humming to the songs

Bucky is watching TV, wondering what he should order for their dinner because he didn't want to cook and Alpine had cooked for them their other night

(domesticated little cuties)

it's a nice sense of peace for Bucky

it feels like home

especially when Alpine starts singing softly

he prefers these moments

as said before, Alpine isn't a bad singer, she's good

and Bucky finds her voice soothing

especially when she's singing the slower, heart warming songs that don't stress too much on her vocals

so when she started singing to the song playing through her head phones softly, he closed his eyes and just listened

she'd noticed, disconnected her headphones so he could hear the notes

"And I thank God everyday, for the girl he sent my way..."

Oddly, Bucky connects ot it

its a song about romance, but he things of his relationship with Alpine

what they had was a family bond and he'd do anything to protect it

most nights he found himself thanking his lucky starts for his little neighbour

"But i know the things he gives me.... he can take away..."

that was definitely something Bucky was worried about, something he dreaded would happen.

it was why he was so protective of her

"And I hold you everynight.... that's a feeling i wanna get used to... but there's no man as terrified as the man who stands to lose you..."

oh wow Bucky definitely relates to this song

it's nice

for once he understands the songs she's singing

and its a nice, calm, serene song

he's looking forward to the rest of it

Alpine has a little grin on her face, not that he can see it

"mmm... Please.... stay..."

her voice changes

"I want you, I need you, oh God"

it's slightly deeper and she sounds more troubled than before

"Don't take"

Bucky opens his eyes and glances at her

"THESE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THAT I'VE GOT"

she stands and starts mimicking the guitar aggressively, pointing to Bucky

"I WANT YOU I NEED YOU OH GOD. DON'T TAKE THESE BEAUTIFUL THINGS THATS IVE GOT!"

Bucky is grinning and laughing

it's the only time he's truly, truly enjoyed her dramatics, despite the screaming at him

Alpine is grinning at him, jumping up on his new couch next to him singing those high notes before falling to her knees next to him and grabbing his arm as she finished the song

he applauds her and she bows

yeah, he enjoys those moments

until she charges him for the private show

"$50!? it was one song!"

"i did choreography and everything"

he doesn't pay, obviously but she's takes payment in the form of the dinner she was already getting so-

at the end of the day, Alpine is a child at heart

she get's excited and loves to express her self

unlike a certain super soldier

so her introducing him to modern music normally turns into him getting it stuck in his head because she's been replaying the same song for around 2 hours doing a task

or because she's singing at the top of her lungs

as much as he isn't a fan of 21st century music, he loves watching the little performances of Alpine and occasionally Sam

and yes, whilst he may be tempted to join them, he would rather die

he handles the instrumental versions of things extremely well

Lyrics can be lost on him sometimes.

but he does get his chance to join in though because she adds some 40s style music to her playlists for him, and when he hears that he often brings her in for a dance when it's been a particularly good day

sometimes, very oftenly so, if a modern song carries the same tune and tempo, he'll carry on the dance

"Oh ho! Wait until Sam hears about this. Bucky Barnes dancing to modern music!"

"Go ahead, he'll never believe you."

denies it every happened when she tells Sam at their next family dinner

"I swear he danced!"

"Bucky? Dancing? You think I'd fall for that?"

"But he did!"

Bucky simply offers an evil grin when she asks him to tell Sam the truth

"you're delusional kid"

#bucky imagine #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky and alpine #bucky fluff #mcu bucky barnes #alpine #mcu imagine #mcu james barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #mcu sam wilson #mcu winter soldier #sam wilson and alpine #sam wilson #the falcon and the winter soldier #falcon #winter soldier and alpine #winter soldier fic #human!alpine #human alpine #bucky barnes found family #alpine barnes #alpine the cat

[skiiyoomin]

I was wondering if you could write a saiki & reader oneshot fic with a reader who has DID & C-PTSD and paranoid tendencies? I understand that that might be a bit too hard to write but just in case I got some recorces that might be handy, here is the link to DID listing from my own copy of the newest version of the DSM https://www.dropbox.com/sh/htaraej65e34tg9/AADBATmelRQFUBfTMxaJ3W6wa?dl=0 as well as this website that has a lot of good info on it https://did-research.org/ and this page I found that has a brief overview of C-PTSD https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd but I also recommend quickly reading thru the different types of flashbacks (shouldn't be that hard to find info on)

The main idea is that because of the mix dissociation,switching,paranoia, different types of flashbacks etc that the readers thoughts are very fucking confusing to saiki (feel free to use this premise for any kind of plot you want just try not to make it overly angsty is all I ask, well as un-angsty as you can get with C-PTSD anyways lol) I just wanna see more y/n / reader inserts that I can actually relate to but the saiki K fandom is so small

Can be platonic or romantic

Hi!! So sorry for the late reply, I researched as much as I could so if theres anything remotely wrong or different please tell me! Ngl, im not very sure i like how it turned out, nevertheless I hope you enjoy :))

Also i totally get that its hard finding stuff for saiki k which is the reason why i write for it in the first place, they totally deserve more recognition!! Feel free to send more requests in the future!!

warnings: somewhat angsty but not really, i tried to be as vague as possible so as not to trigger anyone, reader suffers from trauma, DID, CPTSD, swearing, fluffy ending? slightly oc saiki

RULES !!

DO NOT COPY OR REPOST MY WORK PLEASE

REQUESTS: OPEN

NAVIGATION

WHO DO I WRITE FOR?

summary: Saiki was used to listening to many types of thoughts, and at one point, nothing he heard surprised him. However when you came around, he was beyond confused. What sparks as a little curiosity might turn into something more.

-------------------------------------------------

No matter what | Kusuo Saiki

He was used to it, or at least that's what he used to tell himself. Throughout the years he had heard all sorts of thoughts, at one point, he learned to tune them out when need be, having listened in on weird enough ideas that now don't surprise him anymore.

When you came in the picture, he was...baffled, to say the least. Confusing wasn't even close of a word to express how he felt. Your thought process was anything but simple. At times it'd be a fuzzy mess almost as if you lost part of your memory, other times, you'd think as if you were a completely different person, contradicting many of your previous thoughts. But what disturbed him most was the series of traumatic thoughts that would cross your mind. Flashbacks he realized in that moment.

In the beginning he felt annoyed, as per usual. Often times, he'd find you in class with a dazed expression, which to be frank, he had seen enough times to not give it a second thought. But then his attention would be caught when your mind would wander and you'd start thinking in a very unusual way. They were so unlike the person you presented to be, so much so that Saiki was left perplexed and in need to understand exactly what was going on.

The more it happened the more worried he'd be. There were days where you acted a certain way, and other days where you acted completely different. He could tell you weren't being fake trying to act differently for attention, after all, your thoughts lined up with the you acted and the things you said. Rather, it was the abrupt changes in your behaviour that had him thinking for far longer than he normally would.

Along the way, he also picked up how you'd flinch if you were in sudden physical contact, the way your shoulders would tense and the way your heart beat would speed up. Saiki wasn't stupid of course, he was aware that all of this was caused by some form of trauma.

He knew not to pry, yet his heart strings pulled everytime he saw you having a bad moment. So he began to follow you, in disguise of course, and even if he seemed like a stalker, he couldn't help it. Eventually he began to connect the dots, your reactions, behaviors, everything. It made sense now.

Unconciously, his words began to soften around you, his touch became gentler, he looked out for you in ways he had never done so with others. You began to notice but in no way did you mind, if anything, Saiki was someone you took great comfort in. What started of small slowly grew into something neither of you expected.

Of course, that didn't make it any less hard for either of you. Like right now. You were laying in Saikis bed, your head resting on his shoulder as you watched a movie, when suddenly a specific scene had triggered an anxiety attack. Your mind was racing through flashbacks of the many disturbing events you had gone through. Saiki was up almost immediately, having read your mind and sensed your reaction.

His touch was soft, his hands cupping your face so gently you'd think he was scared to break you, which he was. He was in no way someone who could comfort others easily. Nevertheless he tried his best. He attempted to lower your heart rate, rubbing small circles against your back as his other hand held the back of your head. No words were needed, they never were. He had, in a way, been there for you, way before you two even became a thing, so none of this was a surprise for either of you.

That didn't ease the guilt in your heart any less. You always felt bad. You knew Saiki could read you, literally. And well, it wasn't pretty. Countless times you had attempted to push him away, yet he never budged.

"'m sorry" you mumbled against his shoulder as your rested your head on it.

He cupped your face in his hands, pulling you to look at him.

`I won't let you push me away. The things you went through won't make me see you any differently, because to me you'll still be someone I cherish'

Your eyes welled up as you looked him deep in the eyes, finding nothing but love for you. Still cupping your face, he ran his thumbs under your eyes, wiping the tears away. He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

'I love you'

"No matter what?"

`No matter what'

#headcanons #masterlist #saiki kusou no psi nan #saiki kusuo #saiki no psi nan #kusuo saiki #saiki k #saiki fanart #ao3 saiki #the disastrous life of saiki k #disastrous life of saiki k #saiki kusuo no psi nan #saiki x reader #saiki icons #saiki headcanons #saiki imagines #saiki reactions #saiki oneshots #saiki k headcanons #saiki k imagines #saiki k fanart #saiki k x reader #saiki k no psi nan #saiki k fanfic #saiki ff #saiki fanfic #anime masterlist #anime edit #anime and manga #anime gif

[sam-keeper]

the miserable feeling of getting to the last episode of The Nevers and realizing we got Big O'd again.

I mean they did a really good job of wrapping up a lot of the plot and I think it's actually not the worst place to leave off thematically and even kind of... fascinatingly uncomfortable?

so I guess maybe what we really got was End of Evangelion'd 😬

which [stares at the corpse pile] yeah

would I recommend the Nevers?

well,

"True" is one of the most balls to the wall brilliant sci fi reveals I've seen, on par with some of the most buck wild things in Lost, and then they come back from a TWO YEAR HIATUS and frantically clean up the mess of a plot outline they were left with and arrive at a genuinely pretty brilliant pair of finale episodes... which leave on if not a cliffhanger absolutely the sense that the story was SUPPOSED to keep going

so

idfk man, do I recommend Big O?

maybe I should write something just about, idk, watching things and getting something out of stuff that is by nature of its production just sorta fundamentally incomplete

I don't really know exactly how I feel about it myself though I suppose.

I just am drawn like a moth to a flame to stuff that has this vibe, and I guess The Nevers proves that I can sense it even before the fix is in. there's nothing that appeals to me like a lost cause.

I will say this show is probably worth it for the autistic vriska coded Bird Boy, and the poor little meow meow disaster dyke energy of the main character who is canonically bisexual and poly and just a fucking mess.

could be worse I suppose. it could've been Wonder Egg Priority.

maybe I'll write about it some day. Sarah just expressed a longing for the days of fan magazines that would've covered a show like this. I'm not sure where its audience is now. I doubt anyone's tuning into fucking Tubi to watch these last six episodes lol. where does a fandom go for something like this? even the age of blogs is well past us. in a way, the doomed feeling conclusion fits with the production history and what its likely place in culture will be. there's a definite sense in the end, I think, that sometimes you do your absolute best, and it just doesn't quite work out.

was there still a value in the doing?

#the nevers #fuck joss whedon and fuck hbo

[patchworkgargoyle]

I blacked out and wrote this, then created a wholeass playlist for it, in the span of a few hours, whoops. 😅 Inspired by @motocrossed‘s post about punk!Steve and Boys Don’t Cry by The Cure.

~2.9k words, rated T for swearing and mentions of shit parenting, and a bit of pre-relationship Steddie because I had to sneak that in. Crossposted to ao3!

---

“What’s this?” Steve asked.

“Huh?” Will said from the backseat, realising he’d been spoken to.

“The song.”

“Oh, this is The Cure,” Will replied after a second of listening, starting to lightly bop along to the song.

Dustin, having called shotgun, sighed and went on a rant about Will and Jonathan’s shared tastes in melodramatic music, completely oblivious to Steve’s sudden change in mood, for which he’s grateful. Steve had taken to keeping a few cassettes in his car for the kids so they’d stop complaining about him just listening to the radio, and though it meant working out a system so no one complained - loudly - about playing favourites, he was at least glad to have something around for them. Like the radio he’d just tune it out, not bother to listen to the lyrics. But this.

But I just keep on laughing

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'Cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

Steve swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. Ignored the echo that the final crooned lyric sets off in his skull. Grit his teeth. The song faded out, running into the next, and he took a deep breath, another, to try and bring the steel-like tension out of his shoulders. He managed to drop off each kid at their respective homes before the tension crawled its way back up his spine and made him push the speed limit a bit too far, the cassette long since ended and rewound, the silence shockingly loud.

He didn’t dare play it again. He ejected the cassette when he parked at home, told himself it was so he could claim he’d lost it, and brought it inside. Instead of throwing it away like his brain screamed at him to do, he chucked it beside the cassette deck on his parents’ audio system and stared down at the <i>Three Imaginary Boys</i> title. Steve huffed and turned away.

—

It sat there for three days. He worked a shift with Robin, picked the kids up from Hellfire - now being held in Gareth’s garage - and ignored the way it pulled at his awareness like a black hole each time he walked by, until one night when Jonathan and Argyle had commandeered Steve’s living room for movie night. Jonathan egged Steve to rent The Lost Boys for them as soon as it was released and, when leaning over to pop the VHS in, spotted the cassette.

“There it is! How’d you get this, Steve?” he asked, waving the album around.

Steve tensed. “I thought it was Will’s, he left it in my car. Sorry, you can have it back,” he said, hoping he would take it.

“I mean, I let him borrow it, so it’s fine. Have you… listened to it?” His tone was almost doubtful. Jonathan hadn’t insulted Steve’s music taste like the kids, but Steve knew he felt the same as they did. At least he was polite about it. When he and Eddie were in the same room they’d inevitably descend into talking about favourites, new releases, terrible songs, and Steve would, as usual, would zone out.

“A little,” Steve admitted, seeing Jonathan’s eyebrows disappear into his bangs.

“Oh. Cool. Did you like it?”

Faking indifference, he only shrugged, and Jonathan placed the cassette back on the audio system. “If you listen to more of it, let me know what you think. I can recommend a few others if you want,” Jonathan said, but turned back to the VHS player. Steve kept himself from begging Jonathan to take it back and forced himself to settle back into the couch while Jonathan put the movie in.

Later, after his friends left, Steve stared at the cassette with an empty popcorn bowl in hand. It felt like a standoff and he didn’t know why. “Fuck it,” he mumbled, “it’s just music,” so he set the bowl down to flick the system on and slid the cassette in. Single picked notes from a guitar ramped up into a drumbeat, not the one that had twisted Steve’s guts into knots, and he sighed, relieved, and continued to clean. He left it to play while he ate a microwave dinner and mulled over watching another movie. He’d settled on Ghostbusters when the upbeat-sounding song that had buried itself in his chest began to play.

I would say I'm sorry

If I thought that it would change your mind

But I know that this time

I have said too much

Been too unkind

His breath left his chest like he’d been punched. Of course he thought of Nancy. They were over and done and better off and even happier as friends, especially after the horrors of spring break had finally ended, but it didn’t rid Steve of the regrets he held onto. He’d been such a dickhead. To her, to Jonathan, and though he knew they’d forgiven him he couldn’t let go of the shame the memory of “King Steve” always brought up.

I tried to laugh about it

Cover it all up with lies

I tried to laugh about it

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'Cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

“Boys don’t cry, Steven,” echoed his dad’s angry, disappointed voice, “you’re too old for this.” How old had he been, seven or eight? He’d fallen off his bike and scraped his knee pretty bad, his mom scrubbing dirt out of the wound. It wasn’t the first time Steve’s dad had said it, wasn’t the last until Steve just stopped crying. He hadn’t cried when Nancy started ditching him, or when she called him bullshit at Tina’s party, when Billy or fucking Russians kicked the shit out of him, when Eddie almost died, or any time the whole world fell down around him again and again and again-

But I just keep on laughing

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'Cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

Steve laughed around a choked out sob. “Shit,” he spat, slumping on the ugly shag carpet. He couldn’t keep more sobs from wrenching out of his throat, barely able to breathe, so he dug his hands into his scalp and finally, finally gave in. Chest caving in, breathing harshly, the tears poured out without end no matter how tightly Steve shut his eyes.

Every apocalypse they’d stopped, every tragedy that haunted Hawkins because of the actions of a few shady government nutjobs, he’d had a hand in having to clean it up and faced the aftermath every time. That it was left up to a bunch of barely-adults and a handful of kids who’d been dragged into this way too young was deeply unfair. None of it was fucking fair but nothing had changed. Four apocalypses in four years and those in power never learned. It tore apart his town, his friends, the kids, his entire life - not that he’d been going anywhere before the Upside Down. His dad had told him that enough. Each call from his parents ended with Steve feeling like an utter disappointment and he couldn’t even tell them <i>why</i>, not that they’d understand. Hell, his dad would probably just call it a fucking excuse.

Misery and mourning slowly turned into rage. Steve’s fists balled up in his hair as he glared into the middle distance. Jaw clenched, he stood again, The Cure still playing. He rewound the tape. Cranking the volume loud enough his neighbours would probably complain, he marched through the bland, lifeless house, up the stairs, and into the bathroom. Scowling at himself, still crying, ribs heaving, he began to scream-sing,

“I would say I'm sorry

If I thought that it would change your mind,”

He didn’t think before he grabbed his electric razor and switched it on.

—

Broken pavement crunched under the beamer’s wheels as Steve pulled up outside the Munsons’ new trailer, parking beside a familiar van. It was bigger, newer than their old one; it was the least the government could do after clearing Eddie’s name, though Hopper had fought for both things when it came time to sign the newest round of NDA forms. Of course it had taken Dr. Owens speaking up on the Munsons’ behalf for it to happen. The memory only fed the fire in Steve’s chest as he parked, but he shoved it back down. If he showed up at the door looking ready to punch something, Eddie would worry the shit had hit the fan again, and he was already going to worry once Steve asked what he needed to ask.

Calmed enough, Steve got out and hopped up the steps to the door, knocking only twice before Eddie whipped the door open.

“Harrington!” Eddie grinned, “what an honour to have King Steve visit my humble abode. What’re you doing here, man?” Steve winced at the title, but instead of replying, he pulled the baseball hat off his head. Eddie’s jaw dropped. Stepping back, he gestured Steve inside.

“Jesus christ! What happened? Did you let El go crazy with the razor or something?”

Steve snorted. “No, though maybe she’d have done a better job,” he said as he self-consciously scratched at one of the unevenly shaved sides of his head. “Do you, uh… think you could fix it?”

Eddie praised the clearly impromptu haircut Steve had given himself. Once he’d come down from his rage, razor held in his shaking hand and voice raw, Steve realised it hadn’t turned out, well, great.

“And you think I can fix this?” Eddie asked, doubtfully, and Steve shrugged. He wasn’t sure why he’d gone to Eddie instead of anyone else. Robin would ask too many questions, and Jonathan and Nancy would be awkward and pitying. Eddie had felt- safest, maybe. He didn’t voice any of this, though, only waited under Eddie’s keen stare. His dark eyes were clearly gauging something in Steve. He knew how wild he looked right now, eyes likely red-rimmed, shorn sandy brown hair clinging to his shirt, but whatever conclusion Eddie came to, he didn’t say.

Mirroring Steve’s shrug, he said, “Alright Stevie, guess I can’t make it any worse. Could shave all of it off?” He laughed at the face Steve pulled. “Okay, okay, I’ll do my best to keep the rest of your luscious locks intact. C’mon.” 

He shoved Steve towards the trailer’s tiny bathroom and started rifling around for his own razor under the sink. Plugging it in, he stood in front of Steve as best he could, nearly sitting on the counter, and tilted his head to get a better look at Steve’s work. “Were you going for any kind of look or?”

Steve didn’t think he was when he started, but looking in Eddie’s mirror now, with him standing in front of Steve all dressed up in ripped jeans and a ratty old band t-shirt, he said, “kinda Kiefer Sutherland in The Lost Boys I guess.”

Eyebrow cocked, Eddie’s interest was piqued. “You know his head wasn’t shaved right? It was just, like, short.”

“Whatever.”

“One sexy vampire mullet, comin’ right up,” Eddie smirked, making Steve laugh, then turned on the razor. The buzzing echoed off the bathroom walls, and Steve concentrated on the noise instead of the way Eddie now held his chin, turning his head to get a better angle. There was faded black marker colouring his fingernails, clearly a stand-in for nail polish, and the metal of Eddie’s rings were only slightly colder than the fingers on Steve’s jaw.

The only sound came from the razor as Eddie went quiet, concentrating on evening out the shaved sides of Steve’s scalp. Steve just let himself breathe, his mind going blessedly blank for the first time in hours, the vibrations against his head almost soothing. Even standing so close to Eddie was familiar, comforting, with how he often gravitated into Steve’s space when they hung out. Sometimes it made him go a little warm, for reasons he’d kept himself from examining too closely, but here, with Steve’s metaphorical world in pieces at his feet once again, maybe- maybe he could give it some thought.

“What, uh, brought this on, if I can ask? It’s not every day that Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington changes his signature ‘do.” Eddie sounded too casual. He must have been dying to ask and finally given in, not that Steve could blame him.

The muscles in Steve’s jaw jumped, tensing around the words he could try to say. His mouth opened and closed. Where could he even start? “I hate being called that,” won out, causing a regretful cringe from Eddie, so he continued, “it’s fine. But it’s not me anymore. Hasn’t been for years now. Needed-” he sighed, short and sharp, “needed to finally look like I’ve changed. It’s stupid pretending like everything’s still normal, because it’s not. Our lives are so fucked up because the government decided to torture kids under our feet, and not only do we keep having to fix it but we can’t tell anyone why we’re so different now and I’m.”

His throat closed around the emotions he’d hoped he’d cried out on his living room floor, cutting Steve off. He didn’t want to do this in front of Eddie. He could cry in the emptiness of his home but not here, fuck, not-

“You’re fucking angry. And sad,” Eddie said flatly. He’d let go of Steve’s chin, but hadn’t moved out of his space, so when Steve’s head jerks to look at him their faces are closer than he’d thought but Steve can see the feelings boiling in his chest reflected in Eddie, being this close. “Right? I sure as shit am. They keep screwing up and we’re the ones with the scars to prove it.”

Steve looks down at the scar around Eddie’s throat, then, in the mirror, his own. “Yeah.”

“Makes sense you wanna change something. Get control. Y’know, when my dad dumped me off here with Wayne one of the first things I did was steal these very same clippers and shave all my hair off,” Eddie grinned, waggling the razor between them, and Steve couldn’t picture him without his iconic tangle of dark curls. Didn’t want to. It suited him. “Looks like I’m continuing my uncle’s tradition of fixing an angry little punk’s bad haircut.” Steve chuckled.

There was a pause, then Eddie raised a tentative hand to the evened-out side of Steve’s head. He held Steve’s gaze, a slight flush to his cheeks, as the pads of his fingers brush through the soft, short stubble. “You look pretty fuckin’ badass like this. Now the outside matches the inside,” Eddie said.

“Dunno about that.” Steve refused to acknowledge how his ears were starting to go red by looking down at his polo shirt and light wash jeans.

“Well, maybe you gotta change up the clothes to match the hair. Or,” Eddie smacked him on the arm, “maybe you could get a piercing. Or some tattoos!”

Rolling his eyes did nothing to disguise the fond smile on Steve’s face. “One thing at a time, Munson. Robin would freak out even worse if I showed up to work like that.”

“We’ll work you up to it,” Eddie winked.

—

Steve said goodnight a few hours later after getting high, shooting the shit, and watching tv on Eddie’s couch. It was a nice way to wind down after the rush of emotions earlier, sprawled out comfortably in the cluttered, lived-in home. Steve glanced around and hoped, someday, whenever he moved his place would be as cosy as this; he refused to be as sterile and impersonal as his parents. He refused to be anything like his parents, as long as he could. Fuck normal.

At Eddie’s urging, he’d swapped his itchy, hair-covered polo for one of Eddie’s t-shirts - “Don’t want you shedding on the furniture, you animal,” he’d teased - which was, of course, black, full of holes, and emblazoned with some band Steve didn’t know. Before he left, Steve tried to give it back, but Eddie insisted he keep the shirt.

“It suits your new look,” Eddie claimed, “use it as both a guiding light away from both your horrifically colourful clothes and your very bland taste in music.”

“Might not be so bland anymore. The Cure is pretty good,” Steve said, smirking at his offended gasp.

“Those Byers punks got to you first! Damnit. The war is on, I’ll make you a metalhead yet.”

He scoffed as Eddie poked him in the chest, sharing a smile. As Steve stepped outside, he turned back, looking up at Eddie haloed in the warm light from the trailer. “Hey, uh, thanks. For, y’know.”

Eddie’s smile turned soft as he leaned in the doorway, arms crossed. “Anytime, Harrington. Let me know if you want the hair touched up. Who knows, maybe you’ll make me into a barber.”

Huffing a laugh, Steve said, “good night, Eddie.”

“Good night, Steve, you dirty punk.”

Steve grinned and shook his head as he got into the car, aware of Eddie still standing in the door, watching him leave. Keys in the ignition, he turned on the car, the music kicking up as soon as the engine caught. He turned it up, too loud for the time of night in the crowded tailor park, but he didn’t care when Eddie burst out laughing at the sound of The Cure blasting, tinny, from his stereo.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #fanfic #my writing oh no #also please know i am not anti-nancy if this comes off like that in any way #i like her i swear

[randomvarious]

London Hip Hop Playlist

Something that Brits really seem to go absolutely fucking nuts over are breakbeats. They singlehandedly invented jungle and drum n bass with them, as well as the genres of breakbeat and breakbeat hardcore as well, and out of breakbeat also came big beat, which was that fun party stuff that was huge in the late 90s and early 2000s that was made popular by people like Fatboy Slim, the Chemical Brothers, and The Prodigy.

But another thing that Brits naturally applied breakbeats to was hip hop, which, after it had managed to make its way from New York, led to the formation of a UK-specific genre in the late 80s called Britcore. And Britcore featured people (almost strictly blokes) spitting furiously over slammin' breakbeats. Basically, if you love old school rap records like I do, you are *really* missing out if you never messed with any of this stuff at all, because while the US continuously led the way, the UK was cooking up some seriously overlooked unique fire on the back-burner that never really managed to make it into the American hip hop diet.

So, here's a bunch of dope rap tunes from London that span from the late 80s to mid-90s, a lot of which are Britcore tracks. And my #1 favorite among all of these is, hands-down, "Doomsday of Rap," by Hijack, which isn't just the greatest Britcore song that I've ever heard, but is also, to me, just one of the best pieces of old school hip hop that's ever been made, period. In fact, this tune, which lays ferociously raw lyrics over a sample of the Incredible Bongo Band's iconic "Apache," actually helped Hijack to catch the ear of none other than Ice-T, who then signed them to his own Rhyme Syndicate label. And "Doomsday of Rap" is probably one of the least obscure songs among this set here, but considering just how irresistibly good it is, a Spotify play count of around 75,200 still feels a bit low.

Another banger on here, though, which does have an obscenely low play count is Kobalt 60's "Kaos From Order," which seems to sample its breakbeat from Tom Jones' "Looking Out My Window," and also adds these forceful "ba-ba-ba-ba" male vocals in the second verse too. And I have no idea where those specific vocals come from, but they really enhance this whole track, overall, which is only sitting at a little under 1,900 total plays.

I also included a couple cuts from a slick-tongued ragga hip hop star originally from Jamaica named Daddy Freddy, too, who moved to London and then made some choice tracks, like "Go Freddy Go" and "Haul & Pull." The version of "Go Freddy Go" that I've added has about 16,700 plays, and a remix of "Haul & Pull" that was done by Bobby Konders has about 32,900.

This playlist is ordered as chronologically as possible.

Lady Sugar Sweet - "Sugar Sweet" Thrashpack - "Trigger Happy" Hijack - "Doomsday of Rap" MC Duke - "I'm Riffin" MC Duke - "Gotta Get Your Own" Hardnoise - "Untitled" SL Troopers - "Movement" Standing Ovation - "Onslaught" Daddy Freddy - "Go Freddy Go" The 3 Knights - "Burial Proceedings" Militant Posture - "Dawn of Terror" Brothers on Organised Missions - "B.O.O.M." Brothers on Organised Missions - "Delivering the Answer" Kobalt 60 - "Kaos From Order" Daddy Freddy - "Haul & Pull" Killa Instinct - "Un-United Kingdom"

And, of course, there's a YouTube version of this playlist too, which includes a couple more gems that aren't on Spotify, like a tune that's actually not Britcore, but takes a page out of Pete Rock's relaxational jazz-rap stylebook instead: 499's "Don't Categorise Me," which has around 11,600 plays across a bunch of different uploads on YouTube.

Demon Boyz - "Rougher Than an Animal" 499 - "Don't Categorise Me"

And this playlist is on YouTube Music as well.

So, with the unveiling of this playlist, we start with 68 minutes worth of tunes on Spotify, and 78 minutes over on YouTube. And because the YouTube version has that 499 track, I definitely recommend you check out that version rather than the Spotify one 😊.

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

#hip hop #rap #old school hip hop #old school rap #britcore #brit core #ragga hip hop #ragga rap #music #80s #80s music #80's #80's music #90s #90s music #90's #90's music #playlist #playlists #spotify playlist #spotify playlists #youtube playlist #youtube playlists #youtube music playlist #youtube music playlists #Spotify

[heartandfangs]

Omg follow up on my other ask: I’d really love to know more about the whole creative process, like how you maintain the believability & essence of your characters in your stories, also how do you come up with the little nuances?? 😭 I feel like writing characters (especially maybe introverted ones) in a complex way can be so hard

You’re the first to ask me for writing advice so I’ve been looking forward to answering this 😆 Even though I just write for fun I love talking about creative processes. Sorry if this is long, but I could still discuss it even more lol. For you and anyone else, feel free to ask me more questions if you're curious! Always happy to talk about this.

Programs that I use are Google Docs (for that autosave feature baby, fuck writing on Tumblr), Grammarly (but I still find typos after posting rip), Theasaurus.com (I repeat words too much), any music app (IOU has its own playlist that I'll even listen to when I'm not writing), & Pinterest (for vibes + moodboards). I'm constantly switching between these tabs. When it comes to writing scenes I make sure it's something that engages me while writing and if it's boring to me, I'll scrap it or rework it after sitting on it for a bit. ✍️

Usually, if an un-written scene is haunting me over the course of several weeks, I have to write it; IOU Part 5 started with the scene where Heeseung can't hold himself back from kissing MC’s neck while dancing and then I just asked myself how did we get here, and what comes after? (Always easier said than done)

I have so much fun with stereotypes + tropes but I also love characters that are a little more grounded in reality; so I try to achieve that by imbuing them with characteristics/mannerisms that I’ve seen in people from irl experiences or myself. For these nuances, you can even get inspired by specific media/characters that you love to read/watch about.

I’d recommend making a list of your favorite characters + stories and jotting down a few bullet points of what you love about them, for whatever reasons. From there, you can create character dynamics that you enjoy, and if you enjoy writing about it, there are bound to be people who will enjoy reading it!

When I write, I draw a lot on experience, then I put a twist on it; it just comes easier that way to me. IOU is definitely pwp, but I like building up the tension a bit before giving out the goods hehe, that’s where characters come in with their weirdly unique selves to make the twist on reality happen.

It’s all about that balance to craft a character that works for your story and then the tension in their relationships with others. I'd say the tension between characters and their personal flaws is what makes something compelling to read.

I’m an introvert through and through, so my MC’s lean that way a lot lol. I’ll point out some examples of how I convey MC’s + Heeseung’s introversion below! (Gotta preface that not all introverts are relegated to this sort of behavior, this is just based on behaviors in myself and introverts I’ve come across) I've taken a class on personality psychology and used to dive deep into MBTI, which also helps.

Compare Heeseung’s interactions with MC vs Jay; he’s awfully stand-offish with Jay and reserved, but it's heightened due to jealousy. He’s an observant guy and tends to think/calculate before proposing anything— and of course, he’s extremely in tune with MC even when she’s not quite so with herself. Heeseung in IOU is learning how to be a bit more transparent/action-oriented with his feelings, but only where he believes it counts.

MC is shy and polite/friendly with Jay, but with Heeseung she teases him a bit more and lets down her guard without worrying about social niceties; but even then, she’s still a bit conservative with her true feelings. While she gets stuck in her thoughts often, Heeseung understands and knows how to draw her out of it.

She prefers her alone time to recharge over hanging out with a rambunctious Jake but makes an exception for Hee who has already won her over as a friend. MC's incredibly honest with Jake about her feelings though, but he values it even if it hurts. Still, he has to retaliate in his own little ways, and he excels at bringing out MC's trait of impulsivity which is... interesting.

#ask #iou #p's writing advice

[irkimatsu]

Caught up on Hazbin Hotel! It's a fun ride! I don't have nearly enough words for it - there's someone in my circle way, way better at that when it comes to this - but I did want to ramble a little bit:

-Charlie. CHARLIE. I am about 60% here for Charlie. You could have told me nothing about this show besides "the Princess of Hell is basically a shoujo protagonist" and you would have gotten me from there. Is my love for Charlie proof of my namby-pamby hippie ways of love and kindness and forgiveness? Probably! But it's fine. I love Charlie. I want to know her dreams of redemption are possible. (Sometimes I really need to know that you really can be redeemed no matter how badly you've fucked up...)

-I'm also really loving Husk. How much is the personality and how much is the character design? No clue. (I'm a furry, baby~) He's a good straight man, though, and someone that most of this hotel's residents are gonna need, especially Angel. Glad I'm not the only one on the Husk/Angel train, looking forward to where that's going

-Sir Pentious is a pathetic baby man and I love pathetic baby men. (My main fandom is still an anime about six pathetic baby men, after all.) While there's other characters I care more about as a whole, I fully expect to be laughing my shit off every time this guy's on screen. Idiot. <3

-God damn the music is good, just as I expected after years of Helluva Boss. Standouts so far are "Poison" (obviously, even though that scene fucking hurt to watch - which isn't a complaint, it did what it was supposed to); "Stayed Gone" (Vox is such a petty bitch and damn do I see why a friend of mine favors Alastor, he's effective as hell); and "Loser Baby" (maybe because I literally just watched it and boarded the Husk/Angel train, but hey, it was fun, and a desperately needed cleanser after "Poison". You know "Poison" was rough when a cheerful song about how much your lives suck is a cleanser.) There hasn't been a dud yet, though! Gonna have to loop the soundtrack to commit everything to memory, though that might wait until the whole season's out. Don't want to not give later songs a fair shake because I was too busy looping the earlier ones.

-If I have to complain a little, I do admit to being lost on some things, and I don't know how much of that is "I'm supposed to be lost, they'll explain later", "I'm dumb and didn't absorb things properly", or "that was explained in side materials". I hope most of it is those first two and not the third - side materials are fun, but I do think the show should be able to stand on its own. Even with the pilot - is that on Amazon? I don't know because I watched the show, um, elsewhere. I have my doubts about it, though, since so much changed between the pilot and the main show, as it tends to happen with pilots. If it's not, that does feel like a bit of a problem, since I think this show has its best chance of success if someone sees it turns up in their recommended section, knows nothing about it but thinks it looks cool, and tunes in there. Treats for the dedicated fans are great, but continuity lockout makes it hard for newbies to care, and I'd rather this didn't turn into "well you're not a real fan because you didn't read all the side comics and blog posts". No elitism, please! Let people who don't live on the Internet enjoy the funny demon show, too!

-Twitter is annoying and my engagement with this show in public will probably be slim-to-zero because this show's hatedom is one of the most obnoxious I've seen in a long time. It's fine to hate the show, obviously, but god, all the reaching for straws to prove that everyone who watches this show is evil and supports all the crime in the world. It's okay, you don't have to like the violent Hell show where people say fuck. It's not for everyone. You don't need to prove you're better than everyone else for not liking it. It's fine, love, it's fine. Of course there's stuff to criticize, every show can be critiqued, but "it's gross for Niffty to make sex jokes because she's tiny"? Go away with that shit.

I hope at least some of this was coherent. Looking forward to more!

#irk blubbers about nothing #nope not tagging this not going there #no fandoms only friends

[nanjokei]

one thing i recommend to any vocaloid fan is to pirate software and play around with it, tuned and untuned project files, try to convert a ust, plug n play, fuck around, truly try to familiarize yourself with the software a little. ive tried out every version since 3. ive recently gotten my hands on rin/len act1 (my favorite rin and len banks btw) via archive dot org but still havent played around with regedit to unlock them

but over the years, id play around. i have to say. i couldnt figure out v6 at all but its a much better software than v5 for sure. id LOVE to try synthv 2 out just for academic purposes as i usually do, but it seems like someone actually took action against cracked versions. actual cops lol (ive tried the original back when it was free)

sidenote, i am planning to buy gumi v2 eventually but im too lazy to fuck around with the japanese address stuff rn (older banks arent up for sale on the internetco overseas storefront)

my points: someone who pirates it probably wasnt gonna buy it anyway. i might buy stuff as a fan but i have no intention of buying anything currently, music is only my hobby as a listener. but trying it out just to understand HOW it works will deepen your love and make you not only understand the effort that goes into stuff, but also potential techniques people use (and you won't misuse technical terms randomly which is a huge pet peeve of mine)

#rambles

[mor-and-more]

Mor rating Stormblood major areas based solely on personal preferences!

Fringes - have KITYS and SNEKS, Dimworld is unexpectedly cosy, but also it's annoying AF to ride through its desert parts when you are only the Area Appropriate Level and not +11 and have no flying or even mount speed, so gotta dock some points for that, 7/10

Rhalgr's Reach - The Measure Of His Reach in one arrangement or the other playing as the area tune 24/7, drilling into my brain. I want to bite after about 10 minutes. 1/10 do not recommend

Peaks - the best features there are the Ziccurat (filled with Angy Qiqirn) and the Cool Roadway and the nice spots only available with flight. Everything wants to eat you and/or is generally annoying. 3/10

Lochs - has a fun salt lake and a nice tune while the MSQ is rolling! I have assaulted the poor B tier hunt mark critter so many times there.. Points mostly docked for the Ala Mhigan Quarter being there, where I STILL prefer to fly to get places because it makes me SO CONFUSED. 8/10

Kugane - the place of "you'd think a weeb would like it" for me, but no, me no likey. My feelings range from indifference at best to "FUCK I'd rather spam one dungeon for levelling without sanctuary bonus" at worst. It really feels like 3/10, but I loathe it much more than the Peaks, but also I have to be there sometimes because market board + retainer summoning bell, so I might hang out there between roulettes. I think I've even stayed in the inn like 2 times between 4 characters and didn't even realise that the "Bokairo Inn" means it's.. a functional Inn, on the 1st critter. But also hey Bokairo sounds close enough to Bokaroido (like y'know, Vocaloid spelled in Japanese), so I'll let it stay 3/10. Even though I don't like it there

Ruby Sea - very annoying to swim around before you get diving. And with diving, too. Shisui of the Violet Tides is in the local answer to the Mariana Trench, and you need it for flying. And getting there takes ages, and then you find out you didn't dive deep enough. But points are added for my lizard seeing a fellow lizard guy's chest in Onokoro, which prompted his sexual awakening, lmfao. So I guess that raises is to 6/10 from 5/10

Yanxia - just kinda H. I love the rainbow lakes, but that's about it. When I get in, I want to get out asap, be it through quests or despite quests. The region I would forget about if the game didn't remind me it exists, a lot. 4/10

Azim Steppe - NOW WE ARE TALKING. The only region where I WANT to do side quests for the fun of it. I mean, LIZARDS!!! LOTS OF THEM!!! Magnum Fuck the Never Fucked doesn't even spoil it because you beat him up (twice), and everyone dunks on his incel ways. The Little Sun can go set and think about his behaviour, and I'm going to give the area a solid 1000/10 because that's my rating. It's the only reason I can tolerate Stormblood, but also it has too little quests. I want to know about ALL THE TRIBES dammit! Also. I'm definitely bringing Arisu there as warrior. For the petty reason of getting Magnai trounced with his own kind of weapon by a pretty lady

#shut up kevin #ffxiv ramblings #yes I'm avoiding playing Stormblood again #I got all the Sui-no-Sato sidequests picked up though #because lizards #yes I sometimes forget Sui-no-Sato exists in the Ruby Sea because it's just not memorable to me #anyways time to go play Shadowbringers as the kity

[mkstrigidae]

1. are you a nickname person?

2. your go to coffee shop order?

3. one piece of media you love but don’t usually recommend to people (for whatever reason). and one piece of media that you love to recommend to people (for whatever reason).

ooooooooh such fun questions!!! Under a cut because i wrote a small essay oops.

I am ABSOLUTELY a nickname person. I both have several nicknames, and will use them affectionately for anyone who allows them. My fam uses 'Emmy' and the kids i used to babysit (and their parents, embarrassingly enough xD) call me 'Emmy-Emmy'. Those are pretty basic, but my favorite one is that my dad used to call me 'Tweety-Bird' when I was younger- partially because we both loved looney tunes, but mostly because I never stopped talking and chattering like a little bird

If the coffee shop has nice black teas, I am SO there- I'm not a coffee drinker actually! (I mentioned this in front of one of my friends in college and she went 'yeah, and I don't know how, because you never fucking sleep'). But yes, nice black tea (english breakfast or something spiced/with citrus) and I drink about one salted caramel mocha a year in the fall because they are extremely tasty but i don't like, crave them really. I once ordered a strawberry basil smoothie at a coffee shop that was so good I've been trying to replicate it for years, with limited success.

This was a HARD one! Probably 'Fushigi Yuugi: Genbu Kaiden' which is a shojo manga series written as sort of a prequel to 'Fushigi Yuugi'. The original is something I read in high school, doesn't have a ton of actual plot, and feels immature when I go back to it, but Genbu Kaiden (which the author wrote two decades or so after the original) is actually a wonderfully mature tragedy/love story that's still a bit fan-service-y so i feel kind of embarrassed to love it as much as I do. It makes me cry every time I read it, in the best way possible. It's about how love and duty can both be our greatest strengths and the things that finally bring us to ruin- how we accept the love we think we deserve and what it's like to crave love from someone who fundamentally can't give you what you need until that love is the only thing capable of destroying you. About giving everything you have even though it's a thankless task because you're so determined to make yourself matter in some way. And eldest daughter syndrome, tbh. The art is lovely and while there are definitely some problematic elements, it's a series I'm really emotionally attached to.

As far as a piece of media I LOVE to recommend: the podcast 'You're Wrong About'. Initially hosted by Michael Hobbes and Sarah Marshall, now hosted by Sarah Marshall + weekly guest, it takes an event or person or concept from (usually) recent history or pop culture and reexamines how it actually differed from our perception of it. It is the most wonderfully empathetic and nuanced show I've ever listened to. You will learn SO much, and it will make you reconsider how you perceive the people and the world around you in the long term. It is also absolutely hilarious. They've done a (so-far) 19-part series about Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman's murders and the OJ Simpson trial as a snapshot of american culture and society and masculinity and it is genuinely incredible thing. The Kitty Genovese episode will both rewrite your understanding of the myth of 'Bystander Empathy' and make you cry. The Anna Nicole Smith episode will completely upend your perception of her life and all its ups and downs and tragedy, and will prevent you from ever being able to ever blindly mentally label someone as 'trashy' ever again. It's a show about how people are fundamentally complex and nuanced and fundamentally good even if some of us do some really inexcusable things. The challenger episode is a masterpiece. I love the Iran Contra Episode so so much. I corner my family members in cars and have forced them to listen to episodes. It's the best podcast in existence.

These were so fun!!! Thank you so much for such lovely asks! You are so wonderful and i hope someone has told you that lately 💕💕💕

#ask answers #you're wrong about #fushigi yuugi: genbu kaiden

[littlefreya]

As I was saying

Summary: You recently found out that you’re pregnant and Henry is being all sorts of over-protective and annoying about it and won’t shut up about what you should or shouldn’t eat. So you find a creative way to shut him up...

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader (no description of body type or ethnicity thought it’s mention that Henry is taller)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: 18+, RPF, fluff to smut, early pregnancy, blow job, bodily fluids, slight FemDom/SubMale, My overuse of poetic sex metaphors, cottagecore!

*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, or parts from it.

A/N: This story was born out of a convo I had with my sweet @the-soot-sprite​ about the photo above. Many thanks to @agniavateira​ my solid rock who betas all my work and to @firefly-graphics​ for the dividers

Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed my story. I work hard on each one of them and your validation means the world to me. 🖤

As I was Saying

Henry’s velvety voice carried through the cottage like seductive vapours of honey liqueur. It wasn’t often that he'd sing a blissful tune so casually out of the blue—after earth-shattering sex perhaps, which indeed you had the night before. However, this morning, his chants were laced with a new flavour of sugary bliss. 

Two little pink stripes. That's all it took for his eyes to shimmer the way precious cobalt is kissed by a moonlight glow.

Sneaking about in the mien of a curious little mouse, you trod after the pleasant tune of his voice, which was now accompanied by a soft rustle. Wander laved your face once you leaned against the kitchen door frame, peering at the prodigious man who stood in front of the open fridge. 

Preoccupied, he appeared to be ransacking through the shelves with the song ‘Cheek to Cheek’ thrumming on his tongue.

“Heaven... I'm in heaven…”  

Fingers clutching at the edge of the wall, you pressed into the chilled surface with a relaxed smirk, lingering on the irresistible view when your ease of mind faded with a blink of an eye — while methodically rummaging through the fridge, Henry threw fresh food straight into an open trash can.

“What are you doing?” you asked, your voice rising to a high-pitched yip. 

Henry made a soft flex; the muscles of his back rippled in a tidal motion. Though acknowledging your presence, he proceeded to hover a finger over different products. 

“Cleaning up the fridge," he answered absentmindedly.

With a soft shove, there went your French cheese. 

“That’s brand new!” you protested and rushed toward him, alarmed. 

Towering over the trash can, you considered diving in to salvage the precious bulk of cheese from the dreary pit. Henry glanced at you from the corner of his eyes, testing your resolve while his claw grabbed some papaya salad leftovers and pushed it over the edge of the shelf, joining the rest of the discarded meals. 

“It is,” he nodded and closed the refrigerator door, carrying on to the high cabinets. With a slight wrinkle between his brows and a hand scratching the stubbles of his dimpled chin, he narrowed his eyes to scrutinise the items carefully. “I'm pregnant-proofing the kitchen. I called Hanna while you were asleep. She created a proper daily menu for you with the dos and don’ts: less sugar, more veggies and protein.” 

It took you a moment to process his words, your eyes narrowing while asking, “Hanna? As in Hanna, your nutritionist?”

Henry nodded at your question, a faint crease lining his cheek. “That’s the one. Don't worry, princess, she specialises with pregnant women.”

Unwittingly, a somewhat inhuman growl sounded in your chest. You were only getting used to the idea of developing another person inside you, and here stood your husband, already seeing fit to dictate your diet. Slithering into the narrow space between the heavy man and the counter, you tilted your chin to meet his stare while your fists pressed into your hips assertively. 

“Listen here, Cavill! You might have jizzed me one too many and succeeded in putting a baby in there, but this is still my body. I can take care of my own pregnancy diet.”

With an arm stretched above your head, Henry offered a charming display of pearly whites to pacify your strained nerves. His dimples nearly managed to beguile your senses when your eyes flared at the sight of what was held between his long fingers.

“No! Henry, no! Not the coffee!”

“Oh, I’m afraid so, my love. You shouldn’t have any caffeine at your current state.” Despite his argument, the tenderness of his gaze stroked upon your face like a warm ray of sunlight piercing through heavy clouds. Lazily it dropped to your belly, the cascading heat cradling your unborn child. 

Words of protest left you for a sliver of a moment, too in awe of the dreamy grin on his face. 

Thoughts of how beautiful you’d look rounded and full with his child illuminated him that you swore his skin developed a glow over the night. Didn’t they always say women are radiant when they are pregnant? Well, it seemed that in your case, it applied to your husband as well.

The charming haze of bliss almost swallowed you up; but you quickly slapped yourself back into reality, reaching a hand in an attempt to stop Henry from throwing away your delicacy. Though taller, Henry held his hand far out of reach, a hint of a smugness stretching his lips.

“A pregnant woman is allowed to have a little bit of caffeine!” You muttered and sent both hands in an attempt to retrieve the box while Henry teased you by throwing it from one hand to the other, further fueling your annoyance. 

Vexed to the point of frustration, you stood still and sighed, “you know what else is bad for the baby?” 

Henry paused his foolish games and tilted his head as he waited to hear your answer.

“His father at the morgue after I’ll kill him. Now stop that and hand it over! A pregnant woman can have a cup a day, according to Google.” 

“Nope,” Henry clicked his tongue, his laughter replaced with a severe stare. “Love, I know they say it’s okay to have a teeny bit, but I’ve been doing some research while you were asleep, and it’s not recommended. Caffeine increases heart rate and blood pressure, which is not good for you nor for the baby. It also increases urination, which may cause dehydration.”

Clenching your jaw at the onslaught of information he bestowed, you watched his lips move while none of his words registered. Preoccupied with the rules of a “healthy” pregnancy, Henry was set on being the practical one, completely forgetting to enjoy the moment. And damn, it was the moment to celebrate. All you wanted right now was to stay in bed for a day, ride your handsome husband to hell and back and eat as much ice cream as possible.

“Everything you eat from now on goes to our baby,” Henry proceeded to lecture on a thing you were perfectly aware of.

Ire found you within seconds, embroiled with pregnancy hormones which made him further intolerable at the moment— intolerable

... and delicious.  

Soaked with hunger, your eyes raked his sight: the thickness of his muscles was apparent beneath a plain black t-shirt and those good old grey sweats outlined the source of your current predicament. Your fingers twitched just from thinking about it, mimicking the sensation of squeezing its girth and eliciting those low groans that made your heart flutter. 

But his chatter still interrupted your sultry thoughts. If only there was a way to get him to shut up, you mused. Then your eyes focused on the soft bulge that winked back at your hungry glare.

Unaware, Henry turned toward the table to grab a bulk of informative documents he printed earlier in order to educate you of your pregnancy, he licked his thumb and began to read through, “As I was saying….”

Hastily, you exploited his lack of attention and took a step forward, your fingers latching around the hem of his sweats. With one swift movement, you fell to your knees and tugged his trousers along. 

Lost in his passionate speech, Henry was still muttering nonsense when your hand seized him; but as the lushness of your tongue bedded his soft cock without warning, all that could be heard in the kitchen was a husky gasp. 

Feeling the warm silky flesh swell and harden within your mouth, you sent your eyes up to peer at him, admiring the sight. Nothing spoke of your power better than the wrinkle between his shut eyes and his mouth agape with all air draining from his lungs. There you were, lowered to your knees with a maw full of his cock and yet, he was the one who lost his ability to speak and had his legs quaking of need. 

Unable to help yourself, you sent one palm to feel the tremor that ran through the muscles of his thighs while the other cradled his heavy sac. 

“Uh……” he finally managed to utter, a groan of bemused bliss pushing itself between his parted lips. “What… what are you doing?” 

You crooked an eyebrow in response and answered by dragging your mouth along the length of his shaft. Your pillowy lips ran across ridges and thrumming veins, your jaw loosening until you felt him deep in the back of your throat. 

Locked in the cavernous cage of your maw, he tightened his gut and shuddered with pleasure. Though, the low unbridled groans that sputtered from his chest fueled your enticement just as so; memories of how the same thick girth that brimmed your mouth would split open your narrow canal made both your eyes and abandoned cunt tear of desperation.

It always beguiled you how much arousal could be found in bringing him to his rapture without touching yourself. The harder he throbbed on your velvety serpent, the more you soaked.  

With fervent strokes, you feasted on the briny flavour of his cock; the tendons vibrated with bliss while your tongue twirled and pushed around them. You pulled, sucked, and pumped him in your warm mouth, milking the senses of a man infinitely stronger—a man who succeeded in conquering your womb yet now crumbled to nothing at the touch of your tongue.

“Fuck…. Babe… keep going,” Henry breathed out a plea. The documents held by his hand slipped between his fingers as he pressed his palm to the cabinet with a thud, and began to rock his hips back and forth to fuck back into your mouth. Like feathers, the white slips floated around you, landing onto the ground while you worked him to his ecstasy.  

His other hand found your head, caressing lovingly and trying to take control: yet his strength waned and his head fell back with a moan. Faster, harder, you sucked your husband to the point of submission while hums of admiration laced around his rigid length. Your eyes beamed as you watched his resolve shatter. Your fingertips toyed with the coarse hair at the apex of his thighs, your thumb seeking the tendon at the base of his cock and pressing into it, urging him to spill his gift down your throat.

“I’m going to… I’m going to…. In your throat… fuck.”

With a guttural grunt, he thickened against your tongue; the overflow of salty-sweet cream glazed your mouth and then flowed down your flaring throat.

The room thrummed with the buzz of the refrigerator, Henry’s heavy exhales - these were the sounds of your triumph. Wiping your lips with the back of your hand, you cracked a smile and neatly pulled his trousers back on before you rose to stand straight. 

Overwhelmed and drenched in sweat, your husband scrutinised you while you reached for the box of capsules and tilted your head.

“You were saying?”

#henry cavill rpf #henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill fanfiction

[subwaysurf45]

Code Star

Summary: a code word you and Bucky share is used; but it’s not in a good way.

Warning: panic attack, ripping out hair, addiction(little bit)

Words: 2030

Masterlist!

"Agent. Agent. Copy agent?" Friday spoke through the speakers in your room, it was louder than normal and also in the middle of the night which was the reason you woke up with a gasp.

"C-copy," you spat out, you typically sleep with your mouth open, so it gets dry when you first wake.

"Mr. Barns is calling you, he says it's 'code star'." Your stomach dropped, from all the adrenaline from waking up with a scare and the code, you sprinted down the hall way.

-

It was late and you were in the kitchen, you were trying to separate from your sleeping pills because during your last mission you couldn't sleep because you forgot them, you were addicted to them. So you needed to take a step back, learn to fall asleep on your own.

After asking around there was a tea Wanda recommended, it was lavender tea and she said it's the best with honey. You were currently steeping your bag and had honey beside you.

You took the soggy bag out and turned to the compost bin, after dropping it in and turned around you almost slipped because Bucky was right there.

Standing frozen. Dead face. Staring at you.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" You yelled, not caring if it woke someone up, "what's wrong with you?" You realized you clutched at your heart through your sweater.

He was on the other side of the island, but he seemed to be leaning over a bit, he looked down at your steaming mug and then back at you.

"I- I was going to say hi and then I liked the smell of your tea and then when you turned I looked up at you, I-I didn't mean to freak you out, that must have been really scary, sorry." He looked down into the cup again. "What is it?" He finally asked.

You let your guard down a bit, "lavender," you never looked away from him, "and honey." That was the most he'd ever said to you since he showed up two months ago, he stayed in his room the first month.

"Nice," he nodded, his metal arm coming up and rubbing the back of his neck.

"There's extra water, I can make you one." You knew he was going to ask for your cup, but you really need to hit the sack.

His face lit up in the dark, "perfect!" He half smiled.

You poured the other cup and steeped the another bag, then added honey as well. You both stayed where you were on either side of the island.

"Why are you up?" He asked while blowing on the tea, his voice was below normal level.

"Just can't sleep," you sigh and look over to the common room, no one was there but you really didn't want to meet his eyes.

"I get that," he spoke awkwardly and looked over as well, thinking you were studying something.

"I'm-...I'm trying to get if sleeping pills my shit therapist prescribed for me," you looked back at him, his eye brows raised and his head tilted forty-five degrees.

"Sleeping pills?"

"Insomnia."

"Oh..." he spoke to himself and looked down again, his thumb rubbing the smooth ceramic handle of the blue mug that wasn't his. "I get nightmares." He stated blankly, but he didn't look up at his statement.

"Is it..." you tried to find the right words to not trigger him, "before the war, like America...or later on…in life...?" You danced around the question, Steve had told you mentioning certain things can get Bucky really freaked out.

"My mind," he laughed sarcastically, "it likes to mix the two," he pulled one side of his mouth tight.

"Double-whammy," you whispered, then froze at the sound of a giggle, Bucky chuckled. "What?"

"No-I-I just...I get that reference," he seemed proud, his face seemed to fall quickly though, circling back, "my arm is weird, it's like my human arm but the star," he points to the red, "is like sewn in, I don't know what it means but..." he trialed off.

"Well, if you need help, just call a code star, I'll come to your room and bring you some tea, how about that?" You smile.

"What? Like a friend?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Okay," he smiled and nodded, "alright," his fingers drummed on the counter, "I'm gonna take this back to my room, but I'll remember that." He nodded and left, but caught himself at the corner to the rooms, "hey, agent," he spoke normal, you looked, "if you're gonna be my friend, don't ask 'what's wrong with me?', because trust me...I’ll talk you to your grave." He smirked.

“Noted, Sargent.” You’ve never seen him joke with you before, it felt comforting.

-

'Code star' had never been used for its newer purpose before, as the friendship and relationship grew 'code star' became 'code lavender', it happened after Bucky called 'code star' once while he was having a panic attack, you took so long to make the tea he was passed out by the time you showed up.

'Code lavender': make a tea, meet in the kitchen.

'Code star': panic attack, drop everything a come.

You sprinted down the hallway to the very last room, you could hear laboured breathing as you got closer. Typically you'd knock softly and come in quietly, not this time.

You whipped open the door to see Bucky staring slightly down on the edge of his bed, he was rocking back and forth as his fingers ripped and pulled on his long hair. His pupils blew wide and his lips curled causing his teeth to flash, he didn't even look up at you.

A loud bang from your knees hitting the hardwood didn't phase him either, you tired to duck down to meet his line of eye sight but you couldn't get down enough.

"Bucky, look at me!" You pulled his hands out of his hair, as you made him drop them to his side you found a pile of hair outside his thighs, "oh god," you whispered, your hand unlacing with his to pick up the locks, the free hand of his went straight back to tugging. "Don't do that, don't do that." You hushed and took it out again, a tuff came with it. "Bucky, look at me," you said calmer now, you needed to be the example. "Bucky, nod if you can hear me."

He didn't nod, his eyes stayed locked on your chest. They didn't move there, he was already looking there, it was like he was looking through you.

You kept his hands clumped in your right hand and your left hand began to trace around his face, starting at his cheeks that were dry, little circles led to cross the bridge the nose a couple times. You also started humming, a song you heard Bucky and Steve sing once while drunk and having fun.

His eye brows seemed to raise for a second at the tune, but he quickly fell back into his short shallow breathes. You kept going, your finger gently tracing his cleft chin, it was always something you pinched when joking around with him.

"Wake up, Bucky," you whispered after finishing the song, you started the tune again. His breathing seemed to slow a little and his almost black eyes moved around a bit, "there you go," you cupped his cheek, now just shifting your thumb back and forth. You didn't know if he'd start to pull his hair out again so you kept both the metal and flesh hand covered with your left.

His breathing went to normal, his rib cage expanding wide as he took voluntary breathes. His eyes were shut tight but you felt him lean into your hand that was still holding his cheek.

"Are you with me?" You asked softly, he leaned into your hand again, his hand slowly made it up to his face and he placed his hand over yours, gently guiding it down to his lips; his kisses to your palm were long and filled with their own language.

"I'm here," his voice cut out and became a breath, but you heard him. His eyes looked up before his head moved, he locked eyes with you and something changed.

It was like he was seeing you for the first time, eyes a little wide and confused; but knowing at the same time. They became misty the more he looked, he was never one to cry so he dropped his head to cover the tears.

"It's okay," you hushed, he dropped your hand and leaned forward, basically throwing his entire body weight onto you. You fell back to the floor and he cried in your chest, you saw some of his hair fall with him. "Let it out," your arms wrapped around him and began to rub all along his back, huge, gentle, soothing rubs.

"I-I killed you all," his voice sounded like a dog panting from his short breathes that came when he talked, "I- couldn't s-stop," his 's' slithered like snakes as he tries get sufficient air and talk.

"We're all here, just a dream." It was the same mantra, "we're all here, you're safe, it was a nightmare, you're out of it now. There you go, big breathes, you're doing great, you're a pro at this, keep breathing." You let the broken record play, he seemed to get smaller at every praise.

He sat up and leaned against the bed, Bucky pulled his sleeve around his fist to hold it tight. When he wiped his face it was aggressive, like he was mad at himself. He just stared at you like he always did, you were alway involved in his dreams so he needed to look at you to stay grounded.

"Sorry," his 's' still slurred, "I-...I'm sorry," he wanted to say something else, you could hear it in his tone. His head dropped, Bucky almost fell over at the sight of his hair, "did I do that?" He asked, his nose turned up.

All you did was nod, any verbal answer would've sounded almost grossed out or accusatory. He sighed and looked between the hair and you, he wanted to say something, he'd already stopped himself once.

"Tell me," you whispered.

"I want to cut my hair," Bucky responded softly, "I-I also want to sleep on the floor from now own." He seemed ashamed of the second ask.

"You like the cold?" You tried to figure him out.

"That and it's...comforting...I think," Bucky scratched his head, his metal hand slowing at the thin spot from tugging, "it just grounds me, I'm not used to fluffy things- nicer things."

"How about a mattress pad, you're back will scream at you in the morning." You tried to lighten the mood, he smiled a bit and then nodded. "How about you come sleep in my room tonight, just so I can keep an eye on you and if you want to sleep on my firm mattress you can hop on, how's that?" You stood and held your hand out, Bucky nodded and clapped his metal hand to yours.

You led him down the hallway and to your room, it was really quiet and almost off putting. You slept barefoot so the sound of soft footsteps from your feet was the only thing you heard, Bucky wore socks.

He went straight to your bed and felt the mattress, both hands pressing down on it to see the give it has. You felt a little happy when he was nodding in a positive way; his bottom lip also pouted out.

Bucky slipped in and you joined as well, he stayed still for a while, on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"Y'know, you can cuddle," you whispered, without another second to blink Bucky's face rested on your chest, his arm circled your body completely in a tight hug. Your hands found their way to his back and to his hair, softly lulling him to sleep, "I'll cut your hair in the morning."

"Love you," he murmured.

#bucky barns fluff #bucky oneshot #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes #fatws bucky #bucky x reader #bucky fluff #bucky x female reader #bucky barns

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

#lol thank you for this ask tho #I havent gone on a good Spyral rant in months #it does wonders for my pores

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. i honestly have to guess the reason the anatomy is just SO bad in LO now is that the team gets such rushed sketches from rachel (youd be shocked how many series do this to their teams of assistants) and are on such a time crunch that yeah with a little more time they could fine-tune it to look better but they just go "fuck it" and follow exactly whats on the sketch and it just ends up looking like ... that. its not really the fault of the team but more rachel doesnt give them a lot to work with.

2. idk how you guys claim lo persephone has no personality?? she has big boobs and ass and does whatever hades wants her to do, thats all the personality she needs! (/s obviously)

3. LMAOOO EROS IS BANNED NOW?? love you terrible tumblr staff, never change

4. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT CANVAS COMIC YOURE TALKING ABOUT and you can check the creator's instagram and see the majority of their page is just LO fanart. they maybe could have claimed arrogance if this wasn't the case (tbh most of the character, story, and visual tropes LO uses are super common place that an accidental overlap is very possible) to give it more leeway, but the fact they're an admitted LO fan who just HAPPEN to have all the same exact elements is ... very sus.

5. the athena/hesita ship is also bad bc theyre framed as hypocrites for not letting the poor straight girl persephone bone her near retirement age boss and theyre just?? stupid?? like they never get rid of their no sex rule? also rachel's past comments of hestia "getting over" being asexual (as if asexuals dont have sex? its a spectrum?) and the fact athena has to look like a Man™️ while Hestia looks like a Woman™️ so it's also a gendered gay ship too. It's just bad no matter how you cut it.

6. this is such an annoying thing about RS's "character designs" but why do NONE of them have even some distinct accessories to show who they are? Give Zeus a crown of lighting streaks. Give Hera peacock decals on her clothes. Have Poseidon carry his trident on his back. Give Hades a jewel skull tie pin. ANYTHING! The only one who has any is Persephone with blobby flowers which often aren't even there and lack any sort of rhyme or reason to them (other than blue for horny 🤨). It's so lazy!

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

7. FP Spoilers//I wish Persephone had come by her wrath honestly instead of it being "blessed" by Eris. Like. Heaven forbid the sweet precious cinnamon roll has dimension and feels wrath because that's natural and just part of her? Maybe I'm not making sense. Idk it just feels like RS is doing everything in her power to make Persephone perfect rather than a well rounded character. Maybe I'm wrong. Idk I just hate that it's not *her* wrath it's a blessing from Eris. Smh. 

8. alright im not spending coins on it, what cliffhanger did the mid season finale end on this time. (//fp spoilers obvs)

From OP: I’d recommend just going on youtube tbh. The panels kinda add to this weird mid season finale.

9. //FP SPOILERS

OH MY GOD YESSSS I'VE BEEN WAITING 12 YEARS  WHOLE SEASON FOR THIS. Persephone's finally getting the punishment for all her deeds(and a pretty fair one, per se), she and Hades will finally be apart and Zeus being an actual ruler who makes big decisions and not some clown. Like yeah, there is also ugly art, plot twists out of nowhere, but this is just season 2 you can't do anything about. All and all this is the best chapter in the season so far, can't wait for LO stans to read it, ooh boy this is going to be fun

10. Fp- yep so Perse is all uwu, her "ambitious" side and aow wasn't even hers. Wanted character development? Now you have downgrade. Thanks Rachel. At least we are getting Minthe back

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

[astranva]

Not One of Them.

// masterlist //

Word Count: 9.9k

Category: Fluff, single mom!Y/N

Warning: Some strong language. Slight mention of abortion. Not proof-read.

Note: time-skip to when covid-19 is dead ok

Summary: Harry is lyrically stuck, Y/N is the new big songwriter. She’s also a single mom to a 4-year-old girl.

Early italics are flashbacks.

..

When you’re a young mother, the world isn’t always the kindest, especially when no partner is in the picture.

While you were young, having had baby Faith when you were only 21, you applauded yourself for years for the effort you poured into raising a child alone – with the help of family and friends, and too many books and videos, but you get the point.

Faith wasn’t a mistake, you hate it when anyone even dares to imply so, but she was unplanned. You were in a toxic on-and-off relationship for 3 years, at some point believing that it might have been an open relationship because of the amount of times you caught your ex-boyfriend flirting with women and men right in front of you.

You had done your part after knowing that you were pregnant after one drunken night that led to a rough make-up session. You approached your ex, sat him down and broke the news;

“I’m pregnant.”

“Whose is it?” He had asked, face falling.

Yours scrunched up in anger, almost disgust at the implication. “Yours, you dumb-fuck! I don’t sleep around while I’m in a relationship like some people.” You had emphasized.

He ignored your comment, releasing a sigh. “You aren’t keeping it, are you?”

You were never against abortion. You were never against planned pregnancy. You had freaked out alright on your own when you were confirmed pregnant, but something inside you told you to hold on to the human inside of you, to that little bundle of oblivion – a little bundle of faith.

It was when he asked you that one question, his tone almost sure that you would abort the child, that you felt angry tears pool your eyes. “I am.”

He wasn’t ready to hear it and his wide eyes showed that, “Wh-What do you mean you are? I can’t have a fucking baby! This wasn’t supposed to get this real!”

“This real?” You had chuckled bitterly, “You stay with me for 3 years, fuck me over more than I can count then you always come crying for me, then tell me it wasn’t supposed to get this real?” You stood up, draping your bag over your shoulder, “I’m having the kid, Will. It’s over between us and-“ you gulped, swallowing back the tears as you pointed at him, “I never want to see you again.”

“You bet your fucking ass you won’t.” He had grumbled, tearing eye contact to look somewhere else but your death glare before you left.

 Besides the university halls, Will had managed to stay out of your sight and you were grateful for that. Pregnancy was a roller-coaster, one you definitely screamed during all ride of, but nothing and nobody prepared you for the moment when you gave birth to your little love.

Your roommate and best friend, Cece, had driven you to the hospital and notified the rest of your family and friends, and you were glad that during that very period of time, you had someone beside you.

It was when you held your little love that it all faded away; the pain, the loss, the confusion, the fright – everything faded away the moment your skin made contact with your daughter’s, watching her with pure love and admiration.

You hadn’t picked a name before that moment, only nodding and smiling to the showering of recommendation from people, but one name wasn’t recommended, not even mentioned.

“Faith. You’re my little Faith.”

“You’re looking a little sick, honey. Have you been eating well? You overwork yourself-”

“Mom, mom,” you laughed quietly, tearing your eyes from watching your daughter play with her cousins before looking at your mom beside you, “I’m alright. Last project was challenging, that’s all.”

“Who were you writing for this time?” your mom asked with pride and excitement, curious to know the name of yet another big celebrity her daughter had been working with.

“Adele.” You smirked as you sipped your juice, hearing your mom gasp with a hand to her heart before letting out a small squeal.

In her dungarees and sandals, Faith ran towards you, making you set your juice aside to welcome your daughter in your arms. “Mommy, did you see me win Tag?”

“Yes! You were amazing!” You hyped your daughter up, pressing a sloppy kiss on her cheek, making Faith giggle.

With Faith standing between your legs, talking to her grandma, you checked your watch. “Ah, shoot. I better get going.”

“Will you be here for bedtime story?” Faith asked, looking up at you as you slung on your tote bag and held your car key in one hand before kneeling in front of your daughter.

“I will be, baby. Don’t give Nana a hard time, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

“I love you.” With one last hug and a kiss on her cheek, you smiled at your daughter who clung to your neck, pressing a sweet kiss on her cheek.

“I love you.” Faith replied, moving to stand with her nephew after waving at you as you left.

“Call me at any time if anything happens or if you need anything, Mom, yeah?” You said as you walked towards the door, your mother following behind.

“Wouldn’t want to disturb your wo-”

“Mom.” You stressed, turning to look at your mom, “Nothing like that. I’ll get going. Thank you for watching her.”

“Oh, don’t thank me. You know I love spending time with little Faith more than anything. Drive safely, honey.”

//

“Hey, Andrew, got you a donut.” You beamed as you approached the studio’s receptionist, a 19-year-old intern.

“You’re an angel.” Andrew sighed in contentment as he opened the box containing his donut before looking at you, “Just adopt me. I guarantee I’ll be the best brother to Faith.”

You laughed, “Think having a 19-year-old son will make me feel old. I’ll pass.”

“Dammit.” Andrew shook his head jokingly. “Meeting with Jeffery Azoff, huh?”

“Yeah, do you know if he got here yet?”

“Like 3 minutes ago.”

You checked your watch again, finding that it was just on time for your scheduled meeting, feeling glad that you weren’t late.

“Alright, I’ll see you on the way out.” You waved at Andrew who nodded at you while raising his donut before you set off down the hall and into the elevator.

Walking out and down the hallway, you approached the room you had agreed to meet Jeffrey in before knocking softly, hearing a distant “come in!”

Gently opening the door and sticking your head inside, your eyes moved to the couch where 2 men looked up at you; one was Jeffrey – you had seen pictures of him from when you worked once with his father – and the other was, undoubtedly in your mind, none other than Harry Styles.

“Y/N?” Jeff asked, him and Harry standing as you walked in and closed the door behind you, approaching them.

“Yes,” you smiled, reaching for a handshake which he had happily accepted, “It’s great meeting you.”

Harry’s eyes were set on you, a small smile on his face that did everything but mirror the surprise he felt. He wasn’t sure why; he didn’t have any expectations but he certainly didn’t expect to see someone as radiant as you were.

You looked at him next with a polite smile as you reached for a handshake, “Pleasure meeting you. I’m a huge fan of your work.”

And God, his stomach flipped and his face flushed at the comment, feeling shy under your gaze as he shook your hand, “Thank you so much. Can say the same about your work, you’re very talented.”

“Thanks!” You beamed before motioning towards the couch, the 3 of you sitting down; Harry and Jeff on the couch, you on a chair across from them. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, thanks. Had the biggest cup of coffee just before coming here.” Jeff replied.

You turned to look at Harry, smiling and nodding when he raised his bottle of water.

“Alright, let’s get into it,” you leaned forward, “How can I help you?”

Jeff looked at Harry, signaling for him to talk.

“I know it hasn’t been a year since I released Fine Line,” Harry moved his hands as he talked, looking at the carpeted floor underneath him before looking up at you, “But I’ve been writing ever since but- something is missing. Something is wrong. I wrote 9 tracks so far, all of them are unfinished because I just feel like they’re missing something. I have the idea, have the concepts, sometimes I have the tunes,” he counted on his fingers, “But I can’t finish one song. It’s like I’m, like,” he shrugged, trying to find the right word.

“Stuck?” You suggested, staring at him with an assuring expression which he found soothing.

Harry’s body slumped, tilting his head slightly as he looked back at you and a soft, small smile made its way to his face at how you understood. “Yeah,” he nodded, “Yeah, stuck. That’s the word.”

“I get you,” you assured him, “Do you guys have any sort of deadline?”

“No, not really, no. Not yet.” Jeff shook his head.

“Great,” you clapped, your eyebrows going up, “Do you have any of these tracks’ lyrics now?”

“Yeah, lemme just-“ Harry reached beside him, holding his tote bag to take out his journal.

“Hey!” You grinned, grabbing his attention and making him look at you, seeing you holding out your tote bag to him.

You matched; right on the fabric in the middle was an illustrated design of a small cactus plant pot.

“I have the same one!” You looked down at yours before looking at him, Harry mirroring your actions before a grin broke out on his face.

“Well then, Y/N, it’s set. These will be the best songwriting sessions of the century. It’s fate.” He said dramatically in a joking manner, making you laugh quietly as you set your bag aside and he fished out his journal.

Flipping through the pages, he handed you his journal so you can see one of the songs he had half-written, watching as leaned back on the comfy chair, holding the journal in your hands and reading.

It was excruciating. Harry grew nervous, feeling funny in his stomach and he tried to convince himself that it might be the salad he had eaten prior to that meeting, and not that he was nervous you’d think he was the worst songwriter to-date.

He watched your eyes, taking notice of how you didn’t skim through the words, but read them carefully and taking your time to do so.

“This is really beautiful, Harry.” You said softly, eyes still on the page before looking up at him, oblivious to the breath Harry let out, “Really beautiful.”

“Thank you.” He smiled, discreetly wiping his sweaty hands on his pants.

“Not much damage really. The concept is clear. Post-breakup song.” You said, handing him his journal.

Harry nodded, confirming.

“Are the rest like that, too?”

“Not really,” Harry shook his head, “Figured that the last album had too many of that.”

You nodded, “Yeah, I understand. Just- I say take your time, honestly. I’ll help you with the songs you have, maybe we’d get inspired along the way to write new stuff, too, but you don’t want to force anything, you know? Sometimes some lyrics just aren’t meant to be, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He nodded.

“Don’t you worry,” you gave him a smile, “It’ll all work out.”

“Well, so do we have a deal?” Jeff asked with a smile, opening his arms.

“I’m in.”

Maybe it was because you said that as you looked at him, or maybe it was because he knew of how crazy talented you were – he had spoken to his good friend Ed Sheeran a week prior and Ed had sworn up and down on your talent and how “bloody lovely! Like a little bird” you were – or maybe it your smile – hell, it might be a combination of all that, but Harry was ecstatic to work with you.

“I’m very excited to work with you, Y/N.” Harry had said with a smile of his own.

“Likewise, Harry. It isn’t that common to find artists as real as you are.”

God, what was with your compliments that had him blushing?

“It’s a pleasure, Y/N,” Jeff, too, had said. “Let’s talk busi-”

“Let’s do that over lunch.” You pointed at him, standing up, “My treat.”

“You always this friendly with clients?” Harry joked with an amused smile, staring up at you.

But your smile dropped and instead, your face twisted to worry. “Oh God, I hope I’m not stepping boundaries. It’s just always a good idea to warm up to each other and- I’m sorry, you probably think this is unpro-”

“Hey, hey, no,” Harry was quick to stand, holding his hands out, “I didn’t mean it like that. I genuinely think you’re friendly. Half of the songwriters I worked with were strict and- Shit, no. Lunch sounds wonderful. Really wonderful.”

He felt like an ass. A proper one. He hadn’t meant to make you feel like you were too friendly but that didn’t turn out as well as he had thought.

“We’d love to, really. Besides, it’s probably a great idea that you and Harry know each other so the sessions can go smooth.” Jeff added, standing up.

At this, Harry found himself smiling when the smile returned to your face. “In that case, there’s a place nearby that makes amazing sandwiches and desserts.”

Jeff’s mind was squeaking from its gears working. There weren’t many people on this planet who were purely kind, and it was something he admired in Harry. But at that moment, Jeff knew he had met one more person who was genuinely kind, just like his best friend and “client” – he hated calling Harry that – and it was proof when you insisted that you could give them a ride to and from the place instead of them following behind you or using the GPS, Jeff sitting in the passenger seat during the ride to the place while Harry sat at the back.

The place was a 5-tabeled one, nothing big. One wall was decorated with polaroids of customers, the waiters and waitresses, the chefs, and another with colorful stick-notes with messages from customers. It was a lowkey place, one that Harry hadn’t visited during all his trips to the studio until that moment.

“Hey, Y/N!” The woman behind the counter beamed as she waved.

“Hi, Soph! How are you?”

Soph stood from the chair she was sitting on, taking a few steps back to show her pregnant bump, putting one hand to it, “Ready to pop!”

You had motioned towards a table to Harry and Jeff who were quietly watching the interaction.

You gasped, “Look at you! And you’re still coming to work? What a queen.”

Soph shrugged, sitting back down, “Got mouths to feed and a self to pamper.” She said before waving at Harry and Jeff, “Hello, gentlemen.”

Jeff waved with a smile while Harry added, “Hello! Congratulations on your pregnancy.”

“Why thank you, Mr. Styles.” Soph replied.

Harry liked it. The no-freaking-out. How homey it all felt.

“Rick will be with you in a sec.” Soph said.

You, Harry, and Jeff sat on the circular table, both Harry and you hanging your tote bags on their chairs.

“You come here often, huh?” Harry started the conversation, crossing his arms on the table and leaning forward.

“You have no idea. You’d think I don’t know anywhere else.” You chuckled, “Been coming here ever since I was in college.”

Harry’s eyebrows went up in surprise, “Really? How long ago was that?”

“Graduated 3 years ago, first came when I was 19 so that’s about 6 years.”

“True loyal customer you are.” Harry said.

“What did you study, Y/N?” Jeff asked.

“Music composition. Was the disgrace of the family.” You joked, “Definitely had no idea the entire time if I would actually work or not.”

“But look at you now, one of the best.” Harry motioned towards you.

You waved him off with a bashful smile, “None of that. I still have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, I just get paid now.”

“Who even knows what they’re doing now?” Harry rhetorically asked, “We’re just, going with the flow.”

“Word, sir. Word.” They heard, the 3 of them turning to see the waiter – Rick – by their table.

Harry laughed, “Right?”

“Absolutely. I don’t remember the last time my plans didn’t get fucked. Just riding now.” Rick shrugged.

Harry raised his fist up for a bump, Rick bumping his fist into Harry’s.

Time seemed to pass as Harry and Jeff let you order for them, talking about the music industry and sharing funny stories while at it, as well as you had discussed your own business as you ate the club sandwiches and sipped on the iced tea.

“What are you doing?” You asked with a funny face as Harry took out his wallet after you had asked for the check.

“Paying?”

“Yeah, no. Said it’d be my treat.” You pointed at him, raising one eyebrow with a smile.

“Come on, I can’t just let you pay for us on the first day we meet.”

“Let’s at least split the bill.” Jeff suggested, watching as you shook your head.

“Absolutely not.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards Soph, paying for the food.

“How much do you want to bet that something will happen between the both of you?” Jeff asked quickly with a smirk, looking at Harry with a knowing look.

Harry’s eyes widened, tearing his gaze from being on you to his friend and manager, “What?”

“How much?”

“I just met her.” Harry tried to reason with him, finding Jeff to be bizarre and irrational. Hopeful, but irrational.

Jeff only gave him a shrug, “That’s a first.”

“That’s enough rom-coms at night for you, Jeffrey.”

At the sight of you walking back towards them, they both stopped talking and instead, smiled. “All sorted.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N. You really didn’t have to.” Harry stood, slinging his tote bag on his shoulder.

“I wanted to. Please don’t mention it.” You had smiled as you replied, the 3 of you putting back your chairs. “Bye, Soph!”

“Bye, sweetie!”

“Congratulations again on your pregnancy and good luck.” Harry put both hands together, pursing his lips into a polite smile at the woman behind the counter.

“You’re a sweetheart. Thank you, kind sir.” Soph joked, tipping an imaginary hat at him to which Harry responded to by holding up the tips of his imaginary skirt, putting one foot behind the other in a curtsy making you giggle.

With no spoken words, Jeff was quick to get into the backseat, pursing his lips to stifle his laughter at Harry’s face, who looked at him with wide eyes and an expression that screamed “What the fuck are you doing?” but he got into the passenger seat nonetheless, oblivious to the light shade of red that visited his cheeks but aware of the heat his face seemed to radiate.

The ride back to the studio wasn’t quiet. The radio was on for some background music but you and Harry were too engaged in a conversation to take notice of the songs playing. Anyone could have asked you what even started the conversation of French toast and you wouldn’t know how to reply because none of you knew how you suddenly began talking about French toast.

“Have you tried soaking the toast in lemon?” You asked, tone excited and face breaking into an eager smile.

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Haven’t, no. How good is it?”

“God, it’s,” you shook your head, almost closing your eyes in delight as if you tasted the toast that moment but refrained because you were driving, “It’s so good.”

So what Harry secretly wished the ride was longer? He wanted to talk about French toast. That was definitely why.

“Y/N, it’s a pleasure working with you.” Jeff said, “Thank you for the food.”

“It’s no problem.” You smiled at him, turning around to look at him once you were parked.

“I’ll wait for you in the car.” Jeff said, patting Harry’s shoulder before getting out of the car.

Harry took a breath, slapping his hands against his thighs, “Well, that was fun.”

You nodded, looking back at him with a bashful smile that you mentally scolded yourself for; why were you getting bashful?

“Is it alright if I take your number from Jeff?” Harry asked quickly, “Uh, so we can schedule meeting up for the sessions.” He quickly added, “The writing sessions.” He nearly cringed at his addition and he guessed you caught on because you giggled quietly before straightening your posture.

“Actually, Jeff has my business number. Maybe you can just, take my personal one so I can reply faster. You know, the sooner the better.” You cleared your throat, nodding to yourself.

Harry’s lips stretched into a side smile as he looked at you before he coughed and nodded, “Definitely. The sooner you reply, the sooner we meet. For the writing sessions.”

“Yeah and I can give you the lemon toast recipe.” You said before your eyebrows rose up, “For business purposes, of course.”

Harry’s smile widened at that, holding out his phone for you to take after he unlocked it. “I’d love that.”

You typed in your number before handing his phone back to him, watching as Harry glanced down at it before your phone began ringing, “And that’s mine.” He said, watching you unlock you phone and type before you locked it back.

“Then it’s settled.”

“I’ll text you.” He smiled before opening the door and standing out, ducking to look at you, “Next time, lunch is on me.” And with that, Harry gave you a wave before closing the door and walking away, only giving you a smile over your shoulder and another wave before getting into the car with Jeff.

After getting some snacks from the grocery’s with a shit-eating grin on your face, you drove back to your mom’s to pick Faith up.

You stood on the other side of your car, watching the door open before you saw Faith, her backpack on her back with her grandma standing behind her.

At the sight of her Mommy, Faith was quick to grin before running to you and into you arms as if she hadn’t seen you 4 hours ago.

You hugged your daughter, pressing a kiss to her hair as you did. “Did you have fun?”

Faith nodded before she pulled away from the hug, still keeping her arms around you, “What about you? Did you have fun, Mommy?”

You almost blushed as you remembered, opting to reply a simple reply instead of getting into details. “I did. Ready to go?”

//

After giving Faith a shower and giving yourself one, too, you and Faith were sat in the comfort of your cozy apartment, sitting on the couch and watching The Greatest Showman for the umpteenth time seen as it was Faith’s favorite. With her cheddar cheese and lettuce sandwich in her right hand and favorite dinosaur toy in the other – a “Megalosaurus not a T-Rex, Mommy” – Faith was cuddling into your side while one hand of yours played with her wild hair as the other tapped absentmindedly on your phone’s screen, eyes set on the television.

“And if it’s crazy, live a little crazy.” Faith sang along with Hugh Jackman, eyes wide as if she was seeing the movie for the first time.

“You can play it sensible, a king of conventional.” You joined her, peppering kisses on her cheek causing her to squeal and giggle.

As Faith sang along with the song, you opened your phone’s camera before switching it to video, flipping the camera so that it was the front one. You started recording, the screen showing you your face as you smiled with pride, tilting it so Faith was shown as she sang, unaware of you recording.

Only 12 seconds into the video, a message pop-up had your eyes traveling to it, falling on a text preview from none other than the young man you were with that day – Harry.

‘Hey, Y/N. Sorry to bother but would you be able to send me that lemon toast recipe? Might treat myself to it tomorrow morning. Sorry for the bother. :) Harry’

After stopping the video and opening the text and reading it, if it weren’t for Faith, you wouldn’t have known that you had a grin on your face.

“Why are you smiling so big? Did Auntie Cece send a picture of her cat?” She had asked, looking up at you with curiosity.

Looking down at her, you laughed slightly at yourself. “No, she didn’t.”

“You look happy.”

There were many things you loved about your daughter, many things you were in awe at. As only a kid, Faith was one of the most empathetic people in your life and that moment as you both cuddled on the couch was proof.

With a matching grin, Faith’s eyes twinkled with glee at the sight of her smiling mom, curious to know the reason.

“They aren’t singing This Is Me yet!” Faith added, knowing that the both of you usually laughed and giggled while singing that song, only because you always sang it so dramatically and at the top of your lungs.

“Just happy you’re finally done with the sandwich because now I can do this!” And with that, you tickled her, Faith breaking into laughter and giggles as she tried to stop you.

5 minutes later, Faith was back to watching the movie while you typed a reply.

‘hey, harry! it isn’t a bother 😊 i’ll write it down and send it in a moment :))’

‘Thank you! x’

And you wrote it down and sent it to him, adding little notes, too just to make sure that he perfected the toast.

‘let me know how that goes for you :) x’

‘Will do, love. Talk to you soon. Goodnight :) x’

‘goodnight, harry x’

As if your little love took that as a sign, you looked down at her as you felt her body grow heavier against you and noticed her breath get steady, seeing her eyes closed as she snoozed.

Carefully, you turned off the television before holding her with your arm so she didn’t fall down as you stood, bending to carry her before kneeling a little to grab her fallen dinosaur, letting out a tiny groan as your back ached.

Tucking her in her bed, you sat beside her for a moment, brushing her hair back softly before bending to kiss her forehead.

“Story?” She sleepily asked, struggling to open her eyes.

You chuckled, “You’re already asleep, nugget.”

She hummed, still struggling to open her eyes, “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled before standing up, walking towards her small vanity and turning on her star light lamp.

Just as you were out of the door, you lingered, turning to look back at your daughter, “Was I really smiling big?”

In her sleepy state, Faith managed to reply. “Very big, Mommy.”

You chuckled to yourself and shook your head before walking out and towards your own room.

//

Harry felt like a kid. He was too excited that morning to get up and get on with his breakfast, wanting to deny that it wasn’t because he wanted a reason to text you, but who was he trying to lie to? No one, he was alone.

He followed the recipe, chuckling and laughing to himself during some moments when he was about to fall for some mistakes before reading your notes and saving his toasts, as if you were sitting right there and monitoring him.

His playlist was playing from his phone that he held in his hand, and he was humming along as he placed the two toasts on a plate before adding some powdered sugar to them and grabbing his juice.

Before eating, Harry had taken his time in taking a picture of his breakfast, thankful for the natural light his kitchen window was giving for his little photoshoot.

He was just as much nervous as excited as he sliced up a piece before taking a bite, taking his time to taste his work and his eyebrows shot up and he blinked twice in surprise.

It was so good.

While eating another slice, Harry held his phone and opened his messages app, going to your contact.

Attaching the best picture from his breakfast photoshoot, he added a text with it,

‘Tastes incredible! Would have burned it to coal if it weren’t for your notes hahah x’

And he put his phone back on the table, open at your messages as he continued eating while listening to music.

He was mid-sip of his juice when you replied and Harry hated how excited he got because the next thing he knew, he was having a coughing fit that had him go tearful before finally calming down.

‘looks incredible, too! oh trust me, i know. burned a fair amount of toasts on my own so i decided to spare you the damage. you’re a quick learner :)) x’

That morning, you and Harry exchanged multiple texts, drifting from his breakfast to how you both wished to have dogs.

It was around 4 when you were driving back with Faith from her gymnastics practice when Harry called, thankfully just as you were unlocking the door to your apartment.

“Hey.” You smiled to yourself as you answered, taking off your shoes by the door beside Faith’s before closing the door behind you, watching as Faith went to the bathroom to wash her hands.

“Hi,” Harry, too, was smiling to himself as he held the phone close to his ear, “I was walking around and I found this tiny restaurant that reminded me of where you took us yesterday and, apparently they make the best Italian pizza. Was wondering if you wanted to grab pizza with me and we can talk about, you know,” he chuckled, “The sessions.”

You thought, mind instantly going to who would watch Faith as you went before your eyes fell on your daughter who came back, whispering to you if she should wait for you in the bathroom seen as you were on the phone.

“One second,” you said to Harry before moving the phone from your ear and muting the sound, “Yeah, baby, do that. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

You unmuted, “Hey, sorry about that.”

“No worries.”

He was growing nervous at how you were yet to reply to his suggestion, having already had been nervous enough to suggest and call in the first place.

“Pizza and talking sound lovely.”

He released a breath, smiling to himself. “Great, great! Pick you up at 6?”

“Sure, yeah. 6 is great. I’ll go now. See you soon, Harry.”

“See you soon, Y/N.”

You didn’t trust strangers to watch your daughter, didn’t exactly trust strangers in your house unattended, too. It’s why at times when you couldn’t drive the 40-minute drive to your mom’s, your best friend, Cece, was always your go-to and that was especially nice because she also lived two buildings away.

Cece’s job was one from her home, making food and delivering it to people while she managed her business on her own through social media and it was why most of the time, she was home and always happy to have her goddaughter keep her company.

After calling Cece to make sure she was okay with babysitting Faith for some time and her assuring you that she was, you prepared dinner for your daughter after giving her a shower.

“Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving, baby?” You asked as you sat with Faith while she ate the pasta you made her.

It wasn’t frequent of you to leave Faith for anything but work. Maybe for a night out with some friends every now and then but you always went out with them for 3 hours tops before you began feeling guilty for leaving your daughter and going back to get her so you can spend time together instead.

And it wasn’t like you were frequently going on dates either. Cece had pushed you into it when Faith was 2, and you did go out a few times with different people, all whom you never heard of whenever they knew that you had a daughter and then you decided that maybe the single mom life was just too welcoming of you.

Hell, you didn’t know whether you should call having pizza with Harry a date. It wasn’t, was it? Not that you’d mind but it was for business, wasn’t it? Strictly business. Or maybe it wasn’t and that was fine by you- and now you were beginning to feel like a teenager again. Great.

“Mommy,” Your 4-year-old huffed, rolling her eyes, “I’m a big girl. You should have more fun.”

You couldn’t believe that you were getting advice from a 4-year-old, especially your daughter, but you deserved that.

“When did you get so big?” You rhetorically asked, “Thank you for being understanding, Nugget.”

Faith smiled at you, kicking her legs as she ate. “Where are you going?”

Now that question you weren’t prepared for, as much as you thought about it.

You couldn’t risk telling too much to Faith, knowing that she got excited over new people and couldn’t risk disappointing her if Harry ended up being, well, not one to stick or friendly to kids of single moms.

But at the same time, your daughter was your best friend. It was because of your honesty with her and how you acknowledge her and treat her that she was an understanding and empathetic person who could hold a conversation.

“Well, you know Harry Styles? The man who sings Canyon Moon?” You asked, knowing that that song was on her top favorite songs list after she had heard it once on the radio as you were driving her to her practice.

She nodded, “The pretty man with drawings?”

She had been curious to see the face behind her favorite song and once you showed her a picture, her smile got big and she had said that he was “very pretty” and had “nice drawings that she wanted to color in” meaning his tattoos.

You chuckled, “Yes, that one.” Again, Faith nodded. “Well, I’m helping him with his songs and I’m going to have dinner with him tonight.” You said, crossing your arms on the table.

Faith dropped her fork, looking at you with wide eyes and an open mouth, causing you to laugh heartfully at your daughter. “Mommy, really?!”

You nodded, opening your phone’s camera to record her, Faith not caring.

“Mommy you’re meeting Harry Styles!”

“I am,” you laughed, “Are you happy?”

“Very happy I’m going to cry!” She gasped, “Can I see him? Please, Mommy, please!”

“I don’t know, Nugget. I might have to ask him.”

“Do you think he’ll say no?” She frowned, “I can wear my Harry dress!”

And by her Harry dress, she meant the Fine Line black tee you had bought her, and even though it was sized small, she was only a toddler so you had resulted for her to wear it as a dress after you had trimmed it and its sleeves and had your mom fit it as tight as she could without damaging it. Needless to say, whenever your daughter wore the oversized tee dress, you had to snap multiple pictures of her because she always looked too adorable and fashionable in it.

“I don’t know what he’ll say but I’ll ask him. And yes, you can. You always look adorable in it.” You smiled, still recording her.

“Can you tell him I love his songs? I love Canyon Moon so much an-Oh! And Sunflower, too!” She grinned, “Are you going to show him this video?” Faith asked as she looked at you.

You shrugged, “You want me to?”

She nodded excitedly before looking at the camera, “Mr. Harry, I love you very much, sir. I hope I can see you but Mommy said she’ll ask you so please say yes. Make Mommy happy, not sad. Goodnight, sir.”

Your heart might have as well exploded that moment as she waved before you ended the video.

As if he was waiting for you to finish, your phone began ringing the moment you stopped recording, finding Harry calling you which made you instantly pick up the moment Faith began eating again.

“Hey, do you like strawberries?” He asked, the moment you picked up.

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion but a silly smile took over your face nonetheless, “Uh, yes?”

“Alright, great. I’ll see you soon. Bye!”

//

To make matters easier, once Harry had texted you that he was 2 minutes away, you grabbed your bag and left your apartment and into the elevator before walking outside your building, just in time to see a yellow Ferrari Dino pull up.

You smiled at him, watching as he parked before getting out, “Did I keep you waiting for long?” He asked as he approached you.

“No, just came down.” You answered, watching as he reluctantly slightly opened his arms. He was a hugger.

You wrapped your arms around him in a greeting hug, taking notice of how good he smelled. Just as good as he looked; he was in off-white textured knit Wales Bonner polo, paired with his Gucci flared denim pants and off-white Converse. Nobody should be allowed to look that good in casual clothes.

It wasn’t like Harry’s mind wasn’t doing flips at that moment, too. Instead of smelling like overpriced perfume, you smelled like coconut and roses; a refreshing smell that made Harry’s smile deepen enough for his dimple to make appearance. You, too, were in casual clothes; violet colored cropped culottes, a white tee tucked inside, white sneakers on, a black and white cross-bag and your hair was up in a messy ponytail that was kept by a hairband but you wrapped a black and white head bandana around the band just for the looks.

You looked effortlessly beautiful.

You both walked to his car, Harry opening the door for you before grabbing something from the passenger seat before you sat – a bouquet of strawberries.

“Didn’t know what type of flowers you like so,” he said before extending the bouquet towards you with sweetest and giddiest smile, “Hope that’s okay.”

You almost melted, your face changing to a pout as your head tilted to look at him while you accepted the bouquet, “This is so nice of you. Thank you, I love it.”

Alright so you don’t get strawberry bouquets to people you aren’t going on dates with, right?

The ride to the little pizzeria was nice – comfortably nice. You had shared the strawberries there and your stomach did a thousand flips when you offered Harry one only to have him open his mouth,

“I’m driving.”

And then he opened his mouth again, biting the strawberry you offered with your hand, laughing when it was about to drip on him if it weren’t for your fast reflexes – thank motherhood for that – as you held out your other hand beneath his chin.

By sharing strawberries, you mean you ate some as well as fed Harry some.

You both mentally took notice of how conversations flowed so effortlessly between you, as if you had met years ago and not just a day. Hell, even the texts were random and messy as well as entertaining and fun.

The drive wasn’t a long one, only about 20 minutes before Harry was parking in front of a place called ‘La Pizza’.

You both went outside the car, you waiting for Harry by your side as he walked towards you.

You might as well have melted right there and then when you felt Harry’s hand, very gently, on your back. It was very gentle, you almost didn’t notice and you felt that he was just making sure that he wasn’t making you uncomfortable but it was a reflex action of his. Nonetheless, you appreciated the concern and decided to show him that it was okay to touch you when you touched his arm as you both walked through the door.

Harry gulped, feeling hot as you touched him and he almost scolded himself because it only lasted for a second, yet there he was, getting flustered already. What the fuck was going on with him?

A waitress greeted the both of you, smiling widely as she motioned for you to follow her inside the place.

“There are more tables on the roof, would you want to check that?”

Harry looked at you the same moment you did at him, both of you nodding to each other to say that you wouldn’t mind.

“That would be great, thank you.” Harry said, smiling politely at the waitress who nodded and walked in front of you with the both of you following her up the stairs, Harry’s hand now more comfortably on your back as he walked behind you.

The roof was beautiful; cliché but beautiful fairy lights of small globe bulbs hung above the place, only 3 tables there, each at a good amount of distance from each other.

“Would you want to sit here or downstairs?”

Harry looked at you, you giving him a nod. “Here would be fine.”

The waitress nodded before guiding you towards a 2-chaired table. Harry had sat you down first before moving to his chair.

“Thank you.” You both said in unison as the waiter placed 2 menus in front of the both of you.

“I’ll be back to take your orders.” She smiled before leaving.

“Looks good.” You smiled at him before looking down at the menu.

“Didn’t know they had a roof.” Harry said, “This saved me.” He chuckled.

You looked up with confusion, “Saved you from what?”

Harry shrugged, now growing nervous. “Uh, wasn’t sure if taking you out for the first time here was chivalrous enough because it felt too casual, like a friends thing and not a date but now here seems right.”

He wished the ground he was on would split and swallow him whole. Wished to crawl up a hole and cry.

There were things he was practicing on on the way to you; like how he would hide that he was a nervous wreck, how he was excited to spend time with you, how he knew almost every single song you worked on, and finally, how he wouldn’t spill that he thought that was a date, no matter how much he wanted it to be.

You were amused. Contrary to how Harry truly felt, you thought it was nice that he was straightforward.

“Figured this wasn’t too casual the moment you gave me the strawberry bouquet, Harry.” You smiled, assuring him that you were okay with this being a date.

Looks like it wasn’t business after all.

Harry chuckled, raising an eyebrow, “That was nice, wasn’t it?”

You laughed, “Yes. Don’t think I was ever given a bouquet of fruit so yeah. Really nice.”

You both went through the menu, commenting on some plates and ingredients as you did and contemplating together.

“Maybe we should just get two pizzas and share, so we can try more than one option.” You suggested.

“Good idea.” He agreed, “What do you think of Quattro Formaggi?”

“Ooo, yes.” You then pointed on another topping, “Pizza Melanzane?”

“Yes.” Harry closed his menu with a nod.

Shortly after, your waitress came back and took your order before leaving.

“Finished a song yesterday.”

Your eyes widened as you took a sip of water before putting the glass back down, “Really?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah. A new one.”

“You mean you wrote a new one? Not finished writing one you already had?”

Again, he nodded, putting his arms on the table. “New. Very much new.”

You grinned at him, “That’s amazing. What is it about?”

Alright maybe he didn’t think that one through. He did write a song the previous night and he was proud of it and his gut did tell him that it would make it to the list of his next album, but telling you about it on your first – and he hoped it wasn’t the last – date? Well, not so ideal.

“It’s about opening up to someone new. Trying love again and unraveling yourself to the other person.”

Maybe it was because of your situation, but your breath hitched in your throat.

“You know when you get fucked from an ex and love as whole and you think that you don’t want to go through that again and you, like, close off,” Harry explained, “And it’s like you’re immune to feeling any sort of love or interest in anyone after that. Sure, maybe some sexual attraction here and there, but never something wholesome, you know?” He motioned with one of his rings clad hands as he talked, “But then you meet someone and you feel like a teenager or something,” he chuckled, “And it’s a nice feeling, it’s wonderful, that you start thinking that, hey,” he tilted his head, “Maybe I can do this again.”

You were speechless.

You were a woman of words, hell, you worked with words, but right then, you barely remembered the alphabets.

“You- You get me, right?” Harry asked.

You broke out of your trance, nodding absentmindedly, “Yeah, yeah, I,” you paused, an airy chuckle leaving your throat, “Man do I get you.”

He smiled in amusement, “Relatable?”

“Too much, you had me by surprise.” You answered honestly, releasing a breath.

It wasn’t a surprise to Harry that somebody broke your heart; it was always the good ones who got their hearts broken and got fucked over, always the givers.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling of shock at who would possibly have you at arm’s length, with the ability to kiss and cuddle you, and decide to break your heart?

See, maybe Harry had just met you but you know when you meet someone good. Someone kind. Especially when you’re in an industry that is full of shitty people and too many cold snobs.

“When was it?”

You understood his question, understanding that he meant to ask you about when your heart got broken – when somebody fucked you over.

“5 years ago.” You answered, “You?”

“2.”

“Cheers.” You joked, raising your glass of water to clink it to his, chuckling when he did clink them.

“5 years is a long time.” He commented, gentle with his tone as were his eyes.

“It is,” you agreed, “Got over him, really.”

“You met someone after?”

His question made you think again of your answer, causing you to giggle before correcting yourself, “Got over him as a person but not over the whole thing.”

Harry chuckled, “So no.”

You shook your head, “No. Didn’t have the heart to.” And even though your sentence carried double meanings, you took a mental note of that same sentence just for future songwriting sessions. “What about you? Met anyone after it?”

“Not really,” he shook his head, “Friends set me up with some people but it never went further than a day.”

“You don’t click?”

“No,” Harry answered before a small smile made its way to his face, “I didn’t.”

Your face grew hot, breaking eye contact to glance beside you for a moment.

“How long did it take to write that song yesterday?” You asked, turning back to look at him, growing more flustered to see that he was already looking at you with the same smile.

“Think 25 minutes.”

Your eyes widened, “Inspiration really did hit you, Harry, huh?”

“Grabbed the journal and guitar and I just ran to the studio at home, and it just,” he shrugged, “Happened.”

“Let it keep hitting you like that and we won’t be working together.” You said with a smirk.

“Then I’ll purposely distract myself whenever it hits me so I can see you.” Harry was quick to reply, a smug smile of his own on his face.

“Oh my God.” You whispered under your breath, shaking your head as you covered your face, hearing Harry laugh before feeling his hands on yours, guiding them down.

Shortly after, your waitress was back with your orders; both pizzas looking mouthwatering.

You and Harry decided against utensils, exchanging slices with your hands and granted, as Harry had said, they did make the best Italian pizza.

//

After the pizza and paying, you and Harry had grabbed ice cream from the parlor right next to the pizzeria before sitting in the car, remaining parked as you laughed about everything and anything.

“And I had no idea that Paul McCartney was right behind me the entire time. It was awful!” You finished, laughing more at how hard Harry was laughing at your story.

“Would’ve changed my name and moved out of this planet if I were you.” He teased you as he regained his breath.

“Oh, shut up!” You laughed, rolling your eyes at him.

Harry laughed, reaching out to place a hand on yours, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Embarrassing shit happens to me everyday, too. On stage is the worst.”

You tried to ignore the tingly feeling that rushed within you at his hand over yours, but good heavens, you were a goner. “The falls?”

“At some point I thought it was good my tour got postponed because I see myself falling during most of the songs. Imagine Watermelon Sugar, I’d be a clown.”

You laughed, “Probably so,” you teased him, batting your eyelashes jokingly when he feigned shock, “But really, you’re an amazing performer. I actually have been to one of your shows once.”

Harry’s eyes widened and as did his smile, “No way.”

You nodded, “The one in Glasgow in November.”  

“You’re telling me that we were in the same room and-“ Harry paused, shaking his heads as he let out a chuckle of disbelief, “Wow. Alright. Did you have anyone with you?”

“Was just me and Faith.” You answered nonchalantly, only realizing once you did before your looked intently at Harry.

“Is that a best friend?” He asked, “Did they enjoy the show?”

“She did, yeah. Very actually,” You chuckled, remember how surprised you were at how 2-year-old Faith at the time was actually very interested and was dancing in your arms the entire time. “And she is my best friend at some point but she’s my daughter.”

You didn’t know what you were expecting but you definitely weren’t expecting Harry to grin excitedly.

“You have a daughter?”

“Uh, yeah,” you nodded, a small smile on your face as you inspected him, “I do. She turns 5 in December.”

Harry only seemed to get more excited at the news, which made your heart flutter at the sight of.

“Do you have a picture?”

“Yeah, of course,” you smiled more then, eager to show him your beautiful girl before unlocking your phone and opening your photos album, only to find the most recent addition to it – the video. “Hey, actually, she wanted me to show you something.”

You gave Harry the phone to watch better, most of the time keeping your eyes on him. Harry’s cheeks sported a shade of red at how highly your daughter spoke of him, laughing and giggling to himself as he watched.

“Nooo, I won’t say no. I’d love to meet her.” He cooed, continuing to watch.

As the video ended, Harry handed you back the phone, “Please let me meet her. And what’s that Harry dress?”

And so you told him about your adventure with the tee, to which his heart seemed to grow a thousand times more at.

“I wasn’t aware kids loved me, I’m sorry you couldn’t find her size.” Harry frowned, feeling genuinely bad.

“Hey, no,” you assured him, putting your other hand on his – that was still resting on yours – “Don’t worry about it. You don’t exactly sing the alphabetics, Mr. sex-inspired-my-last-album-and-I-made-it-on-shrooms.”

Harry giggled, shrugging at you.

You both talked some more, only about Faith. Harry’s eyes were wide with admiration when you told him about how you raised her alone – also assured when he realized that the father wasn’t exactly in the picture even though his heart broke at that – and he showered you with compliments of how brave you were to raise a kid alone.

“Think I should head back now. I still need to pick Faye up from my best friend’s.” You said, leaning your head on the headrest as your body was turned towards Harry, his hand sandwiched between yours on your thigh.

“Can I help?” He asked, “Only if that’s okay. I don’t want to be crossing my limits.”

Your eyes searched his, growing emotional at the man in front of you. “Are you sure?”

Again with the double meanings.

That time, Harry noticed, his face softening as he looked back at you. Softly and ever-so-gently, he leaned to press a soft kiss on your cheek, “I’m sure.”

As he drove, you and Harry held hands on your thigh, the both of you singing along to Fleetwood Mac on your way.

As you gave Harry directions, he was absentmindedly rubbing your hand with his thumb. If you would have told him that he was doing that, he would have denied it; not because he wanted to deny it, but because it felt too natural that he didn’t realize he was doing it.

“Right here.” You pointed at a building, “She’s two buildings away. You can go, it’s a short walk.”

“I’ll wait for you here.” Harry said, parking before turning to look at you.

“Harry, seriously, you can leave if you want. I’m right there.” You pointed at your building.

“Nonsense, love. I’ll wait here.”

You sighed in contentment, giving his hand a squeeze before getting out of the car and into the building.

“Why did you not tell me that you were on a date with Harry fucking Styles?” Cece whisper shouted as soon as she opened the door, “Knew from Faith, you shit.”

“Because you’d overr-“

“He could be the one!”

“-react. You’d overreact and plan our wedding.” You teased your best friend, “Where’s Faye?”

“Won’t you come in for a drink?” She asked before turning, “Faith, it’s your mom!”

“Can’t. Uh,” you cleared your throat, “Someone’s waiting for me.”

“Some- No fucking way!” She exclaimed, muttering a “sorry” when you hushed her, “He-Harry is downstairs? Are you shitting me?” Cece excitedly asked.

You couldn’t stifle the smile on your face as you nodded.

Cece was about to talk some more before Faith appeared beside her, her backpack hung on one shoulder as she rubbed her eyes.

You knelt down, hugging her. “Hey, Nugget. You sleepy?”

Faith only nodded, wrapping her arms around you as you carried her, feeling her rest her head on your shoulder and you instantly knew that she slept.

“I’ll text you, alright?” You whispered to Cece.

“You better.”

Carrying Faith as well as having her backpack in one hand, once Harry saw you, he was out of the car and rushing towards you, taking the bag from your hand.

“Thank you.” You smiled thankfully, noticing how he walked beside you and guided you to the car, opening the door for you and sleeping Faith before closing it as gently as he could.

The lack of backseats made Harry place the purple backpack on his lap as he drove towards your building, a seconds drive.

He stopped the car and was out of his seat the moment he parked, slinging the bag on his shoulder before helping you out, taking your bag for you, to which you quietly thanked him for.

“Um, you can place the bags on my shoulders or something.”

“I can help you upstairs, come on. It’s no problem.”

You knew he was set on it and you let him, mostly because of how surprised you were that there were people who didn’t cringe and run the moment they knew the other person had a kid.

Harry did all the work; opened the building’s door for you, pressed for the elevator, pressed your floor number and had even taken out your keys once you told him to to unlock the door.

“Come in, come in.” You whispered.

Unsure of what to do, Harry walked inside and mirrored your actions by taking off his shoes before lingering.

“You can follow me.” You whispered again, turning around for a moment to look at him with a smile.

A quick take of the apartment was what Harry could do as he followed you, feeling an emotion of comfort and coziness engulf him as he did.

You were never less thankful for yourself for every time you changed Faith into pajamas before taking her to Cece’s, because it only made the process of tucking her in easier.

Harry had helped you by moving the covers so you could place Faith in bed before he stepped back, letting you tuck her in.

He smiled, watching how you seemed to shift around her or even when you just talked about her, like she was the most important person in your life and he knew that she was exactly that.

Faith was beautiful, and more often than not, you were glad that she got most of your looks and not her biological father’s because it only meant that he really was out of your life.

Harry noticed it, too. She had your nose, your lips, your facial outline, and your hair color. And from what he had seen in the video from when Faith was awake, she had your eye color.

You placed a kiss to her forehead before turning around, your eyes falling on Harry whose eyes were set on Faith with a ghost of a smile on his face.

His eyes came up to you and you noticed that he was still holding on to Faith’s backpack and was wearing your crossbag across his own chest.

You smiled as you grabbed the backpack from him and putting it aside on the floor before looking at him.

The only light in the room was from the hallway, making the room dimmed and making the both of you in a much more sentimental moment.

“They usually run away when they find about Faith.” You whispered, stepping closer to him, “Now is your cue.”

Harry’s eyes were on yours until they glanced at your lips, and butterflies erupted in your stomach at that.

“Thank God I’m not one of them, then.” He replied gently in a low whisper before he leaned closer, shamelessly looking at your lips.

It was you who took the final step, closing the minimal space between you by placing your lips on his.

His hands went to your waist as yours went to his neck, feeling him kiss you back softly but eagerly before pulling away from less than a second to tilt his head, getting a better angle before his lips were back on yours.

“Mommy?”

Pt. 2 

#THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER WRITTEN #AAA WHAT DO YOU THINK #wellbeafinelime #Not One of Them #NOOT #harry styles imagine #Harry Styles #harry styles fiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #fluff #fluff one shot #harry styles fluff imagine #harry styles fluff #single parent!reader #single parent reader

[miekasa]

wait so i was scrolling through your blog (as per usual) and i saw that you brought up levi and his streamer gf briefly. care to elaborate a lil causeee im curious 👀👀

- 🖤

Absolutely, I can. He’s such a supportive bf even tho he’s far from a gamer himself, and very very proud of you 😌

Whatever game(s) you play, Levi knows the basics. He might not have ever played them himself, but he knows enough to recognize it if it ever comes up in conversation.

He doesn’t always watch your streams, and you can hardly tell when he does because he doesn’t comment or anything. He just tunes in when he’s free to support you and see what’s going on. Sometimes to peep on your comment section, but he’d never tell you that.

He doesn’t make donations. He’d just Apple Pay you money lmfao. Supportive emotionally and financially, but all your followers/subscribers don’t have to see that.

He knows when you’re recording content or streaming and typically doesn’t bother you. The only exceptions are (a) if he forgets or (b) you’ve been in your room for a while and he’s going in to check up on you.

He doesn’t forget often—and truthfully, when he walks in on your streams its not actually because he forgot; it’s because you’re online at a different time that usual and he didn’t know—but it’s pretty cute when he does. He catches himself pretty quickly, and silently asks you if you’re streaming; to which he gently closes the door and just texts you his inquiry.

He doesn’t even really disturb you—it’s not like he enters rooms cussing up a storm on full blast. Nobody could even tell he walked in, except for maybe a small lapse in your attention when you turned to him.

When you’ve been in your room for a while, he does come in to check on you. His intentions aren’t necessarily to get you away from the screen; he just wants to make sure you’ve had dinner or some snacks at the very least. When you have all night tournaments or streaming fests, he comes by with dinner for you; silently puts it on your desk, and on occasion, leaves you with a little head pat.

He doesn’t normally appear in your streams, but he is in two of your YouTube videos: one shopping haul, and once when he helped you make him/your friends in the Sims. They happen to be two of your highest viewed videos.

People constantly ask about him. They know Levi exists, but they don’t see him often, and newer fans especially are obsessed with catching a glimpse of your mysterious boyfriend on screen. If you asked him, he’d come in for a few seconds to show his face, but he wouldn’t do it unprompted.

You mention him, of course, it’s not like you’re hiding him away either. He comes up particularly often when you play with your friends or are just chatting in lobbies. You don’t exactly explicitly refer to him as your boyfriend, but you say his name—and so does Hange—and people kinda get the picture.

Hange constantly asking for Levi when you guys are playing together. It’s one of the few times Levi comes into your chat/comments to tell them to shutup. (Yes, your subscribers go crazy for the glimpse of Levi on your channel).

He’s not a gamer, and he sees no reason to disturb your streams by appearing if you don’t ask. But, also, he’s a little camera shy, not that he’d ever tell you that. You’ve got a lot of followers, he’s not prepared to be live in front of thousands of people every night; he’ll leave that up to you.

Levi built nearly everything in your gaming setup. From the adjustable standing desks, to the wall mounts for your accessories and decorations, to your chair, to the shelves. He built it all and tailored it to your exact taste and to fit your room perfectly.

So, sometimes you feel bad when people ask about stuff because you can’t exactly give them a link or recommendation—“Oh thank you! The thing is, my—well, Levi built the desk for me so you can’t buy it—but! There are some similar ones at IKEA!!”

(Levi scoffs ever so lightly when he sees that clip. His craftsmanship cannot be found at IKEA, but they can try).

He also helped mount the TV in your room so that the cables were hidden and everything. Truly a godsend. And whenever you wanna move things around, he’s there to help you. Sometimes he even has ideas of his own, “You were looking at accent walls the other day right? I think you could do something with this back wall…”

He does play games with you, just usually offscreen. He’s scarily good at first person shooters… even tho he claims to not have any past experience with them… extremely suspicious activity.

And when he mains D.Va and Symmetra then what. Then what.

Just don’t ask him to play Fornite. Ever. (He’d be good at it, but he feels so fucking dumb playing it especially when he can hear that he is competing against a twelve year old pls).

He plays games by himself, too. Think “classic” run of the mill console videos games, I guess, nothing too crazy; Zelda, Mario, Kirby… Animal Crossing. His island is nothing short of immaculate, his only regret is that he doesn’t have oranges as his island fruit. Levi really likes oranges (he got peaches instead).

He knows that you’re pretty popular and he’s super proud of you. That doesn’t mean he likes to see fancam style edits of you on his feed. He knows that you’re pretty but still 🙄🙄

Constantly on the look out for computer/keyboard parts that you mentioned. If he sees it online or anywhere else, he’ll try and snag it for you <3 that goes for new console games, too.

He’ll also periodically upgrade some of the tech in your setup. Get you a better mic, some more lighting for your desk, a cute desk mat he thinks you might like. He’s observant, so he knows your taste in design and takes note of things you mention.

Okay okay okay but imagine putting the headphones with the kitty ears on him. He wouldn’t even notice at first and then you turn on the LEDs and bam. Very focused, very cute kitty Levi playing games on your PC.

If you’ve got a merch store, he helps you run it, and by that I mean, he practically runs it for you. Periodically, he might even have a design idea. You can count on him to get things out for shipping right on time. It’s one of his many ways of supporting you.

He’s also the one who remembers to check your P.O. box for packages from fans and from companies. It was his idea initially, too (he wasn’t too crazy about anyone, even major brands having your home address on file).

Look, he knows you’ve got some super fans, and some people who really do adore you. That doesn’t mean he’s necessarily happy when you get sent non-tech or gaming related merch (like jewelry or shoes or whatever). If he happens to put them a little bit out of sight then no he did not <2

Occasionally he’ll meet someone who recognizes your name when it comes up in conversation. He very proudly confirms that yes, he is talking about you, the streamer.

Sometimes, people will even recognize him back—“Oh, so you’re Levi, then!” Obviously. You only have one Levi in your life 🙄🙄

#🖤 anon #no bc him being a little camera shy is so cuteeeee #so easy for him to grumble and play it off as his normal grumpy aloof self but he’s shyyyyyyyyy #it’s okay levi you’re handsome and the people love you 😚😚😚😚 #levi.ask