#which is also very good because then walking plant with a nice ass | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

forthelostones · 6 months

Text

𝚙𝚝.𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎; 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 ─── ⋆

⟡⋆˙୨ᥫ᭡. 𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚊𝚞 - 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎!𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚢 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 ᥫ᭡.୧⋆˙⟡

synopsis: abby was a woman whose presence was becoming deeply irresistible to you. in your final year of nursing school, you toil with the idea of pursuing her — ruin what you have or enjoy what’s in front of you?

warnings. 18+ (mdni); sub!abby (eventually), mini slowburn, suggestive language, jealousy, nora & mel & ellie ft, smoking/drinking, mentions of parental death, nickname: dummy, and modern au - pre-established relation.

an: hi everyone, waaaa thanks for all the follows! i appreciate you all sooo soo much. this is something i just thought of idk, maybe a series who knows! its officially on ao3. i also know nothing about nursing!! so sorry nursing friends lol.

(no y/n)

wc: 3.2k

part two.

“I undressed you, put you in bed, made sure you were taken care of.”

She rubbed the back of her neck and cut her eyes away, suddenly feeling shy. “Right, uh, thanks. You’re a good friend to me, you know that?”

“I know.” You gloat, feeling the sting from the word friend.

Abby suggested that you two pick up breakfast and walk off your hang-over. The campus was bustling with students going to the library and finishing assignments before the weekend ended. You and Abby didn’t bother changing into anything special, but you did decide to throw on sweatpants and slippers. It was a silent walk to the cafe, where you knew you were going to see either no one or everyone.

Naturally, Abby opened the door for you to reveal a long line of other hung-over students wanting sustenance. Two heads before you in line was Ellie, scrolling aimlessly on her phone, attire similar to yours. Her hair revealed itself to be more auburn and it twinkled fiery in the sunlight. As she walked up to the counter, it appeared that she knew who was serving her, so she talked with them. Abby didn’t like how inconsiderate she was being, holding up the line and laughing.

“Really?” She said, louder than you expected, which made Ellie glance over her shoulder.

“Yea really,” she replied. “Oh, hey.”

She cooly waved to you and her roughness dissipated, ignoring Abby entirely. She flagged you over and you left Abby to hold your spot. Ellie gave you a classic, we almost fucked, side hug, and offered to pay for whatever you wanted.

“Ellie it’s fine, I’ll just get back in line.”

For some reason, she made you so nervous with that coy smile. Her tiger eyes never left yours making you occasionally look away, breaking the palatable tension between you both.

“No come on, it’s the least I can do. I lost you last night.” She forces a comical frown.

Her hand comes gently on your waist, just like yesterday, but coasting closer to your ass, fingers tapping incessantly. You weren’t going to tell her it was intentional that you parted ways because of Abby. Just enjoy the free meal, you thought. You also ordered for Abby since Ellie insisted.

“Text me some time and we can finish what we started, if you want.” You smiled.

You offered her your phone and she complied. Before she walked away, she planted a soft kiss on your cheek and gave your ass a soft tap, sending a shot through you.

Abby followed behind you lamely, her face was placid, and her arms crossed over her chest.

“Ellie bought us breakfast. Isn’t that sweet?”

“It was, it was very nice of her.” She replied flatly.

She walked past you and found a table in the corner, instantly searching through her phone, something she never did. Anytime you were in her presence she gave you her undivided attention. You carried over your food and just slumped into the chair, hiding the grin Ellie left on your face.

“So, who was that exactly?” She finally asked.

“I met her last night, you don’t remember?”

“No.”

She refused to look at you, which made you believe she remembered perfectly.

“So, you and Mel gonna talk…”

She opened her breakfast sandwich and took a large bite, stuffing her face to avoid speaking. Her gaze traveled behind you and not at you, it made you incredibly cross.

“Don’t know.”

—

Ellie has been texting you non-stop in class. Your notifications vibrated within a millisecond of each other and you couldn’t contain your smile in your 8 am lecture. The entire weekend was spent with you texting Ellie, and her name popping up every minute on your screen. Last night you fell asleep getting to know each other on the phone, and all she could talk about was wanting to see you today. Abby noticed how chipper you were meeting her in the corridor this morning. At breakfast on Saturday she remembered Ellie perfectly when you asked about her. When you two entered the cafe her eyes were scanning every element of Ellie, picking apart any flaws she could find — comparing herself. It sent her over the edge to just see her again.

Now you were clicking away on your computer missing the lecture notes. It was distracting Abby to hear your giggles at something she said. Her notes were becoming incoherent, they were missing details, with misspellings because of you. “Hey, you alright?”

She knew you were perfectly fine, but she wanted the attention back on her. But was only met with an answer without lifting away from your screen.

“You’re missing all the notes Dummy and I’m not going to send them later so.” Abby taunted.

You stop typing and look over to her, eyebrows furrowed, shoulders tense, and face crimson.

“I know you will Abby.” You whisper.

She scuffed in disbelief at your audacity, although playful, she took your reply as a challenge. She liked how seductive your face turned, eyes drooping low, leaning in to purr into her ear.

“How can you be so sure?” Abby’s words stroke your neck, making your thighs kiss under the desk. She lingers there, breath caressing and warming your sensitive skin. You sit back and just look at her, plastered with a look that says, try it and find out.

At the end of class, Abby left, miles ahead of you, not waiting, to which you had to skip out of the room to catch up with her. Her feet led her closer to the exit, stomping without reason. You latch your finger on the loop at the top of her backpack, stopping her.

“Abby.”

“Oh, hey.”

She stops and looks at you like you are pestering her.

“Hey.” You mock.

“You were texting so much, I’m surprised you even saw I left.”

She was pouting so hard that the wrinkles around her mouth pinched her jaw. Her sarcasm was passive, to say the least, but her jealousy stunk.

“Abby, come on.”

“It’s our last year, you can pretend to care a little.” She scolded.

“I care — I care as much as you do Abby. What am I in trouble now for—”

“No one even said you were in trouble.” She uttered, tucking her thumbs in her backpack straps.

“You’re making it seem like it and I don’t like that, at all.”

You were centimeters away from each other, going toe-to-toe like opponents in the ring. Abby looked down on you slightly, wide shoulders casting a shadow on your body, standing her ground with an unwavering stare.

“Abby,” Mel said, standing timidly a few paces back. “Can we talk?”

She scuffed as she walked away without any resolution and although you got the last word, you felt like you needed to comfort her. Even if you did nothing wrong.

Abby was flung into another conflict, making her brain ring numb. She wasn’t sure what happened between you and her, but as Mel was speaking she couldn’t help herself watch you walk away, head snapped back onto your phone.

“— I’m sorry.” Mel finished her spiel that Abby couldn’t care less about.

“Sorry?” Abby offers.

“I hope we can agree that stuff happens spontaneously. We were drunk and just havin' fun .”

Mel gave Abby a pity tap on the arm before leaving her alone with her thoughts. Abby just accepted her apology and it left her thinking about you. It seemed like all her experiences with women ended poorly and she felt that even more in this moment. Abby spent the greater part of her adult life focused on her aspirations and not much else. In turn, this made her an easy target a lot of times for women to use and discard her. She didn't have any feelings for Mel but it felt nice to be wanted, even if it was under the influence. Relationships weren’t a mystery to her but she never made the moves, the suitor would, it was easier for her, to take a passive approach to companionship. It made the process simple, allowing her to focus on other areas of her life. If Mel hadn’t touched her the way she did on Friday, she would've stood by your side the whole night and kept you away from Ellie. But since she was taking the initiative, she accepted the advances.

Walking back to the apartment she worked up a text to you:

Hey I wasn't myself earlier…

Dinner?

I need you.

Let’s study tonight?

Read at 6:33 pm.

Read with no reply sent Abby spiraling. She knew the assignments that needed to be reviewed and was determined to use them as a distraction. She fanned out all the necessary textbooks, with her pens and highlighters, but she kept re-reading the same page over and over. The same sentence jumbled in her mind becoming incoherent, and there was no part of her brain that could unscramble her confusion. She slammed the books closed and put on a workout fit and running shoes, to go to the gym, the only constant in her life.

She started her warm-up on the treadmill and hit three miles easily in record time. The sweat muddy on her skin, blistered against her overheating body, motivating her to not stop until she forgot all about you. Her weight rhythmically striking the machine echoed in the empty gym, making a clattering noise at each footfall. After the final mile, she took a moment to stretch and tapped the screen of her phone — no reply. She jogged to the bar and started pressing her usual rep, a light warm-up before she pushed herself over the edge and added more weight. When she did, each pump was like a stab into Ellie’s side, motivating Abby, causing her face to redden and her muscles to convulse. Her thighs were tight in her white spandex shorts, drenched everywhere, but one spot, in particular, twitched from the memories of you with Ellie.

Abby did a final stretch before hitting the showers. She released her hair and began to saturate it in shampoo, massaging her scalp by letting her fingertips scratch away the grime. Shampoo cascaded down her toned back, water beads living on her nose and cheeks, as the hot water relaxed her muscles. Abby ran her hands over her breast with the bar of soap and the tick of the suds on her nipples heightened her sensitivity. She plucked them, index and thumb inciting a delicious pain, which made her clit thrum. Abby slivered her hand up to her throat to restrict her airflow, intensifying her arousal. The steam from the shower became thicker and Abby fought for air while reaching between her thighs. Her panting echoed operatically through the hallway.

Her clit revealed itself from under its hood, swollen and pounding. Abby always had a specific way of jerking her bud since it was so prominent. She used her thumb and middle to curl around it, pinching ever so slightly. She held the tile for stability as she applied pressure. Her eyelids flashed images of your glossy lips, cheeks concaving, face deep in her pussy, covered with cum. Abby began to hump her hand, grunting loudly, imagining fucking your face. Your name left her lips in a hungry whimper as stars clouded her vision while coming over the edge, muscles cramping and knees bowing.

Ellie picked you up and took you back to her place before going to grab food. She gave you a grand tour, the house was small, but cozy, Ellie explained she had been living here for the last two years. The light blue, cottage-style house was decorated with porch plants upon entering. Ellie unlocked the door to reveal the living room that was decorated with whimsy. She had two other roommates who shared the space as well and it was apparent that they were fans of many things.

You pick up a Pikachu plushie on the dark brown couch and wave it at Ellie.

“Ah, Dina likes those things.” She said, slightly embarrassed.

You smile as she guides you to the dining room crammed with an oak round table and vintage light fixture. Her housemates were working on assignments, pressing numbers into calculators, and penciling answers on worksheets. “This is Dina and Jesse.”

Dina waved to you solemnly with a pettish grin. Jesse, her boyfriend, was erasing franticly but managed to stop for a moment to give you his attention.

“Well hello,” he jests. “I guess this is the smart girl Ellie told us about.”

Ellie grabs the edge of your fingertips, eager to have you alone.

“Maybe she’ll rub off on her. Good meeting you.” Dina said.

“Okay, okay, goodbye.” Ellie smirked, clasping your hand and pulling you away.

You went past the kitchen to a set of steps leading to a basement. Ellie had Christmas lights on the ceiling, creating a ring of fire around the perimeter of the room. In the far corner was her bed, over an Asha rug, her sheets messy and various blankets intertwined. Just in front of you was a small L-shaped couch in pristine condition, light walnut, and littered with a pile of clothes needing folding. She hurriedly tossed them onto the floor and looked back at you nervously.

“So you just have a natural affinity to basements?” You ask.

She flops onto the couch and offers a seat to you. “I guess you can say that,” She laughs, biting her lip, and watching you cross your legs. You were too far apart for her liking, which made her lean in closer. She set her hands on your knees and drummed softly. You weren’t typically the type to become squeamish around women, but Ellie brought that out in you. Her evergreen eyes were mesmerizing and her touch was chronic to you.

“Remember at the party you told me if I ever got injured, you’d help me?”

“I do.”

“Well, I’ve been learning a new song on the guitar and I just, my hands ache.”

You reach out to her right hand and examine her fingers, they were fine, with no blisters, and very little callusing. You pressed the pad of your thumb into the center of her palm making her groan in relief.

“Working too hard?” You ask.

“Something like that. So, how long I have to live Doc.”

You snort at her obtuse humor. “Not a doctor, not even a nurse yet.”

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, pulling you away from the world you two were building — It was Abby.

Let’s study tonight?

Ellie groans, holding her hand, wincing as if she were performing.

“Sorry, 's my friend.” You lock your phone and reach out to her.

“Was that the bodyguard you had with you when I saw you?”

“Classmate and neighbor Ellie, she’s my friend too.” You correct her.

“Are we friends?” She mumbles, tucking her hand under your chin, and swiping her thumb over your puffy lips.

You lean into her touch as she caresses your thigh. Ellie carefully pushed you down onto the couch, laying her hand under your neck, then quickly put her knee in between your legs. She admired your body while brushing her palms gently against your clothes, occasionally exposing your skin, making you frigid. She picks you apart and puts you together with her affirmations. She cups your cheek and kisses your forehead, nose, and then your lips. Pressing against them slowly, without haste, coloring your mouth with her tongue. It was long and desperate, slivering and tussling for dominion. Ellie’s thigh pressed firmly against your sex, which made you groan in her mouth. She left you breathless.

Ellie ran her hands through her hair, releasing you from under her control, and allowing you to fix yourself. The cool woman rests back on the opposite end of the sofa, recuperating. She watched you adjust your disheveled clothing, almost leering at you. “Let me take you to dinner.”

“The least you can do after eating my face off.”

part two. -ˋˏજ⁀➴

hey, are you home? im sorry we couldn’t study.

It’s fine, I didn’t get much done.

we have that quiz on tuesday, i really forgot.

Yes, we do. We can just cram tomorrow.

The exam was on Health and Illness Concepts, something that you understood very well. You and Abby were at your dining room table, coffee at a half, flashing note cards watching her become frustrated at her lack of comprehension.

“I don't know.” She said.

She slipped her hands into the pocket of her baggy, black sweats. Her underwear made a slight appearance as she stretched from exhaustion. “Abby you know this, try.”

“I’m serious, ’m blanking. I think more coffee—“

“No sit down, I’ll help you.”

She had a look of skepticism as she sat back down in your dining chair. You pick up her hand without warning, feeling how jittery she’d become, she jumps at your touch but then settles. You trace the veins on her arm, light sage and coursing with angst. Abby’s eyes follow your fingers glide across the inner part of her wrist and she almost winces at how greedy she is for you.

“When I say Neuropathic pain, what does that refer to?”

She looks up to you, searching for the answer in your eyes, but as you climb closer to her inner elbow she flubs.

“I-I, I don't know. Tell me.” She glances at your lips.

“Well, it refers to nerve damage pain, remember?”

Abby nods silently.

“And if I said Nociceptive pain,” You whisper, hand tenderly gripping her biceps. “That means?”

“Pain that is caused by damage to the body tissue.” She replied, mouth open, observing your fingernails drag on her aching skin.

“Good job. What is part of the lower airway?”

Both your hands come to rest on her stomach, and you note the pertness of her abs. Your palms move to her staggered breathing, growing and shrinking, as she inhales and exhales. You’re leaning inwards, balancing on her rib cage, allowing the expansion to fill your hands. A teeming pause built between you both. Abby’s hands came up to your wrists as she sat in disbelief that you two were just separated by fabric.

“Diaphragm.” She uttered.

You raise your palms up slowly, her thick, freckled hands following fluidly, dancing with your movements. Her thumbs were gently brushing lines, buzzing from your touch and her eyelashes felt like branches instead of feathers — heavy.

“Terminal… Bronchi.”

Higher.

“Mainstream. A—and secondary.” Her breath separated her phrasing, trying to steady her heart.

“Now again, on me.” Her cheeks blistered at your demand.

“Nociceptive,” She brings her fingertips to your forearm. “Neuropathic.” She draws up your arm.

“Perfect.” You say, hiding the tremble in your voice.

“Lower airway?”

“Diaphragm.” Her hands wrapped around your ribs, fitting perfectly around your back so that her thumbs were pressing into your belly.

“Terminal. Mainstream. Secondary.” Her thumbs now resting under the curve of your breasts.

She didn’t move but just stayed with you like this, feeling your lungs fill and empty.

“See, you got it.” You smiled.

She pulls away, tucking hair behind her ear nervously, then rubbing her palms together. “‘m gonna go to the bathroom.” She said.

Abby wet her face in the sink and observed her reflection in the mirror. What were you doing, she thought. Her skin was still tingling, and so was her cunt. She was supposed to be mad at you but all she could think of was slipping hands into her pants, again. She saw how you quivered or was it in her mind? Was she making up this tension between you two?

She sat on the toilet and saw the damage in her underwear. I could just leave, go lay in my bed, and forget about this - all of this, she thought. Upon opening the door she saw you paging through your notes like everything was normal. Which was all the confirmation she needed to know it was her own wishful thinking.

"So, you think you're gonna do okay on that section?" You ask, concealing your hot face.

"Uh yeah, thanks for that. Why have you never tutored me before?"

"Maybe because you never needed my help."

"I think I should be a little more clueless more often then."

#abby anderson smut #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #abby anderson x you #abby x reader #abby smut #ellie williams fanfic #lesbian #ellie tlou #abby the last of us #abby anderson tlou2 #abby anderson fanfic #ellie williams x you #sub abby

157 notes · View notes

messrmoonyy · 27 days

Text

- you sunshine, you temptress

Tess Servopoulos x Female reader

Request- already in like Jackson, and so Ellie and Joel live together but Tess doesn’t. They’re new in town so they’re still not used to the whole nice civilized thing, but the reader is her nice neighbor who wears her down. She plants stuff and even like cooks for tess. But she’s not a wimp either, very skilled with guns and stuff. Just a fic where they meet and like reader takes care of Tess. Smut too if you want

A/N- I took this request and ran with it. It took me a long ass time I apologise but I do really like how this turned out. It became far more angsty than I’m sure you wanted it to be but. Here we are. I wanted to explore an idea that Tess didn’t like Jackson and took time to adjust, didn’t really like reader as well. Tess leaning to adjust and love and be loved. Also in transferring this over none of my italics saved and I could’nt be fucked to go back through this again and add them back lmao

Warnings- 18+ | tess is quite low for the majority of this, canon compliant discussions of death and violence, vague/ implied smut (wc- 13.2k )

Tess masterlist | AO3 - Tess requests are open but not currently top priority

SPRING

Tess didn’t like Jackson. Not at first. The drastic change from Boston to the nomadic lifestyle she had been living with Ellie and Joel as they crossed the country had been difficult enough. But to then transfer to something so wildly different from both of those things? Yeah. It took some getting used to.

She didn’t quite know what she had been expecting really. Maybe something like Boston but without the soldiers. Small pockets of people doing their own things to get by, together for safety but nothing much else. Not the working, thriving town she had walked into. Not the cleanliness, the stores, the diner, the hot water- that apparently was only a little temperamental in the colder months compared to year round like Boston- and clean clothes. Jobs. Families. Farming. She felt like she was in an alternate dimension.

She didn’t like the way everyone was so… cheerful. Which was a weird thing to say, but it was true. Because it threw her off.

She had developed her own bubble of happiness with Joel and Ellie over the months. They laughed together at Ellie’s shitty jokes, shared in her joy when she found a can of ravioli she liked. But would be stoney faced in an instant to protect each other. Joel and Ellie she loved like family, they were her family. She was used to warm smiles from them, a desire to be near her and talk to her. She wasn’t used to it from others.

Other people were scared of her. They moved out of her way and they did as she asked. They kept their heads down in case they upset her and they didn’t cross her path. But not in Jackson. No.

They smiled at her in the street, asked her how she was, said good morning.

And it spooked her. She didn’t like it. And she hated that she didn’t. That she had become so hardened that genuine kindness scared her. Because no one was kind anymore. No one showed care unless they wanted something else in return.

So she didn’t know how to take it. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the new found trust people had in her, their ease at having her around. To her surprise Joel didn’t seem to be struggling as much. He had Tommy back after all and that seemed to be easing his discomfort. Ellie was fitting in… kinda. Her colourful vocabulary and brashness had put some of the kids off at first. But they seemed to be warming to her now.

So it was just her. Trapped in some odd isolated headspace where she didn’t quite know what to do. She didn’t mention it to Joel, didn’t want to interfere with him and Tommy as they rebuilt their relationship again. Maria had tried to pull Tess into things more, and Tess liked her. Maria didn’t take shit, she had power and was in charge. People respected her. And she didn’t let Tess mope around for too long either.

But even Maria couldn’t quite pull her out of that disconnected state completely.

Part of her felt she was being ungrateful. She was alive and as safe as anyone could possibly hope to be in the current climate. Joel was alive. Ellie was alive. She was alive. But there was just… something.

Maybe a sick part of her missed it. Missed Boston. But then again maybe it wasn’t so sick. She hadn’t liked Boston really. But spending so long in one place would always make it hard to leave behind. Even the things she had so often complained about. She found she couldn’t even sleep on her new bed, Jackson having been looked after for so long that the mattress was actually still soft. She was too used to the lumpy one in the zone, and sleeping on the ground for months.

She’d been sleeping on the couch since she’d arrived. If she even managed to sleep at all, unable to fall asleep on the soft sheets and bed.

She missed her power too. Got tetchy when she thought about who was running operations back in the zone now. Who was living in her and Joel’s apartment, had they found their stash? Who was selling her shit and walking around like she had? She had to remind herself she shouldn’t care. That wasn’t her life anymore. It never would be again. Boston was a distant memory she needed to put to rest.

But it was difficult.

The new house felt too big. The town too clean. The people too nice. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with herself. She mildly regretted living separately from Joel. Just out of… familiarity. She wasn’t used to such an open space to herself. Even before the outbreak the house she had shared with her husband and son hadn’t been so big. And she had had two other bodies to fill the space.

In Boston that tiny apartment she had had Joel to fill the gaps.

But she knew she couldn’t impose on him any longer. Joel was handsome and mellowing. He would no doubt find someone in town… and she couldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that. Especially seeing as she herself had no desire to go there. Their relationship had always been purely platonic and she had no intention of changing that.

So when Maria had asked, she had taken her own place. Ellie had taken the garage. They all had their own space. But those two seemed far better at living in it than she was.

It had taken that stark shift though for her to realise that maybe she simply wasn’t made for being alone. She had met her husband in college. They had moved in together immediately after, and had their son young. Then she’d fallen into the group heading for Boston, met Joel… she’d never really been alone.

Though she also wasn’t particularly doing anything to change that either. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Back in Boston she’d get lonely from time to time, would go out and pick someone up with ease. Now? She didn’t know where that confidence had gone.

She felt people looking at her when she ventured out. She knew she wasn’t exactly unattractive, she knew people liked to look. But she had no desire to pursue. She didn’t even entertain them for a second. And they all grew bored of trying and moved on.

Everyone was friendly enough, but some kept their distance when they realised she wasn’t the… happiest of people. But one person didn’t let the permanent frown glued to Tess’ face deter them.

You.

You lived across the street from her, would wave hello every morning when Tess ventured out to find out what tasks Maria had to keep her busy for the day. You’d smile. You’d say hello. You even left her things on the porch.

And you liked flowers.

She gathered that pretty quickly. The window boxes were full, potted bushes and blooms littered your porch and edge of the dirt path street. It made her own place look incredibly dull. But maybe that was fitting.

She’d never been one for flowers. So expensive for them to just sit and wilt away in a vase, to be left with nothing but some crisped petals and dead stems within a week. So amongst the sandwiches and pies left at her door, the odd flowering embellishments she knew came from you.

A lot of people in town left stuff for her and Joel, to welcome them. To give them things they needed. She didn’t like accepting any of it. She didn’t like the feeling of… owing people. Feeling like they would have a hold over her, that they had given her a new jacket so now she owed them something. That you had left her a pie so now you were owed something too.

So she left the majority of it exactly where it was placed on the porch, Maria being the one to bring them inside for her.

“ You are gonna attract every damn animal in town if you keep leaving this stuff on your porch Tess “ Maria used as a greeting when Tess opened the door one morning, seeing the woman standing there with what seemed to be a loaf in her hands “ and wasting food? Really? Especially this? Now this looks delicious. Still warm too “ Tess scoffed but before she could speak she heard your voice.

“ Good morning Maria! Good morning Tess! “ she looked over Maria’s shoulder to see you jogging down your porch steps and waving, thankfully turning to walk into town rather than try and start a conversation

“ morning hun “ Maria responded with a smile, glancing over to Tess when she ignored you as she always did.

“ what? “ Maria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in the way she so often did when she was at her wits end. Usually with Ellie and Joel’s bickering.

“ I’ve told you a million times. We all get along here. It’s a small town Tess, you can’t have grudges. Or.. at least public ones. I have a few secret ones myself “ Tess sighed and stepped back to let Maria inside, who only sighed too when she eyed the blanket on the couch “ you’re still sleeping on the couch? “

Tess brushed her off and grabbed her boots from by the door, sitting down to pull them on. She could already sense another of Maria’s lectures brewing, and the headache pulsing behind her temples made her hope she’d hold off on it.

“ I just fell asleep there I was… reading “ Maria did not seem even remotely convinced and walked through to place the bread down in the kitchen.

“ And what’s with the silent treatment with the doll across the street? “

“ she’s too… happy “ Maria laughed and shook her head

“ She's harmless. She’s kind “

“ she’s fuckin annoying “ Maria’s eyebrows flew up and she gave a small laugh again

“ Theresa “ it sounded almost scolding. Tess scoffed at that “ you sound like Ellie “ Tess scoffed again. Fucking Ellie?

“ calling me a kid now Maria? “

“ yeah. Cause you’re acting like one “ she sighed and stood with her hands on her hips, the way that told anyone nearby that she meant business. To shut the fuck up and listen to her “ you’re here now. And you need to stop isolating yourself “ she walked over to her and placed a hand to her arm, a gentle comforting squeeze “ I know it’s hard. I do. But you have to try “

She knew she did. She was just stubborn and stuck in her ways. And you really were… peppy. One of those people that seemed constantly in a good mood, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses and trying to spread your joy.

Tess’ own glasses had smashed a long long time ago. And she saw no reason for the amount of joy you seemed to hold.

“ I’m trying “

“ Try harder then “ Maria said before folding her arms and tilting her head a little as she watched her “ what’s going on with you? “ Tess stood up again and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she knew. Wishing she had the words to explain.

But how could she? How could she tell Maria that she wanted to go home? She wanted Boston back. That she felt out of place in Jackson and had never felt as lonely as she did in her entire life.

“ I’m fine. I’m just tired. Shall we go? “ Maria didn’t seem convinced but nodded, following her outside.

It was a nice day. Spring was in full swing now, in the weeks between Salt Lake City and settling into town the chill of winter had finally disappeared. She could see daffodils sprouting in the window boxes of your house. Her own were barron.

“ I’ve put you on farming rotation today. Sounds good? “ she nodded “ okay. It’s easy enough. Pot things, label things, pull things. It’s quite therapeutic “ she’d be the judge of that one.

She followed Maria around to the greenhouses, watching how people greeted her and smiled when they saw her. She didn’t know whether she was jealous or annoyed.

“ okay. Greenhouse 4, shouldn’t take more than a couple hours. When you’ve finished in there come find me if you want to help out some more. Okay? "She followed where Maria was pointing and stopped when she spotted someone already inside greenhouse 4.

“ are you fuckin kidding me Maria“

You.

Maria smiled and squeezed her shoulders, leaning close to her ear

“ Be nice “ Tess scoffed and turned to try and beg her to assign her anywhere else but there, but Maria was already walking off.

“ Maria- “

“ be. Nice! “

“ fuck “ she gave a frustrated huff and headed into the greenhouse, you turned around at the sound with that usual beaming smile on your face. She didn’t have the energy for this today. Didn’t have the energy for you.

“ Oh hi. I didn’t know I was paired with you today “ she stood not really knowing what she was supposed to do, annoyance practically steaming out of her ears “ you wanna get that side and I’ll continue with this side? Seeds are in that bag there, compost and soil is there, tools in the crate under the table. Okay? “

She gave a small nod and headed for the crate of tools, pulling out a small trowel and grabbing a pot. But she found her hands refusing to move. Simply staring down at the equipment in her hands. It felt like a weight was pushing down on her shoulders, crushing her chest, turning all of her muscles to lead.

“ I thought Maria would’ve had you trained up for patrols by now “ you said lightly, the sound of your trowel filling another pot “ from what I’ve heard your pretty handy with a gun “

What had you heard?

“ yeah “ she said, almost having to force herself to reply “ soon… they don’t like new people straight on patrol “ her hands still wouldn’t move.

“ figures. You could always ask her to put you on my regular route at first if you like. It’s one of the busier ones, you seem a little stressed. And well blowing the head off a clicker might be beneficial “ you laughed as you said it but quite frankly she felt you were right.

She didn’t like being unarmed. Adults in town were allowed to own their own weapons but weren’t to bring them out of their house unless they were heading on patrol. Her back pocket felt too empty without her gun there. Her fingers itched to hold it, if only for the familiarity of the metal on her fingers.

“ or why don’t you see if she’ll assign you on the hunting crew? Shooting rabbits isn’t exactly as fun as putting down clickers but. You know it’s something “ you seemed fully convinced that the answer to Tess’ supposed stress was killing something one way or another.

What had you heard about her? Who had been talking?

“ right “ she still hadn’t potted a single seed, some unmoving crushing sense of dread still heavy on her shoulders.

She didn’t know why the weight of her problems was weighing her down so heavily in the last few days. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just adjust to Jackson. Why was she feeling more anxious and depressed in the safest possible place she could be, than when she had been living under the looming threat of being murdered everyday?

No normal person's mind worked that way. No normal decent person craved the life she had once had. The familiarity back at least. She felt sick.

You were humming a song to yourself now. It felt irrationally loud in her ears. She could hear Maria’s voice in her head too. Telling her to try. To try be nice. Try to mingle.

“ thank you. For the bread “ she said in an attempt at conversation. She’d known it was you that had left it. Had seen the sprig of some kind of flower tucked into the cloth it was wrapped in. Obviously you “ but I don’t need charity “

“ it’s not charity “ you said, the sound of your tools stilling “ it’s a gift. I don’t know… welcome to town gesture that’s all “

“ Whatever it was. I don’t need it “ maybe this wasn’t exactly nice. But it needed to be said “ you can take it back if you want. I haven’t touched it “

“ alright “ she didn’t have to look at you to know your face would be reminiscent of a kicked puppy “ keep the lavender though. It’s calming… it’ll help you sleep” she turned around to look at you then. How did you know she wasn’t sleeping?

“ how- “

“ I came from a QZ myself, I spent years after that roaming. I know it takes time to adjust Tess. I barely slept a wink when I first got here… paranoid an infected was gonna jump me in my sleep or FEDRA was gonna come arrest me cause they suspected me of rebel activity… silly I know but. Our brains are hardwired into survival mode and it takes some time to shake it off “

It sounded genuinely sincere. Caring. She barely knew you and yet you seemed as though you actually wanted to help her. It made her skin prickle.

“ yeah. Well. I’m not you “ she turned back around as if to resume her previous activity. Though she had still not potted a single seed.

“ That's very clear “ even annoyed you sounded remotely cheerful still. Like no malice truly laced your words.

What was she doing here? The world was a hell hole, it was full of shitty people all doing shitty things. And there she was planting fucking carrots. In some odd altercation with you about her behaviour.

“ Tess? Everything okay? "Your hand falling on her shoulder shocked her into reality. She stepped away from your touch, moving so quickly it was as if you’d burnt her, heading for the door. She felt like she was suffocating she needed to get out “ Tess? “

“ I- I have to go “ you hurried out after her and she took a deep breath of the fresh air trying to calm herself. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t skittish and scared. She didn’t get anxious and erratic. She didn’t recognise herself anymore.

“ Can I do anything? I can get Maria or-“

“ look. I know you mean well. But I don’t need… any of this. I don’t need you thinking you’re helping all of the time “ her words were harsh and as much as you annoyed her, it was like looking at a kicked puppy “ just. Stop “

She turned away from you and headed straight for home. Home. Home that felt nothing like the word.

She felt ungrateful. People were sleeping out in the woods or in derelict buildings basically waiting to be attacked by infected. And she had a house. Warmth. Safety. But she couldn’t shake the feelings and she hated it.

She closed the town out behind her, closing the door and leaning against it to catch her breath. Why was this all so difficult for her? Why was she so incapable of adjusting to some kind of regular society again?

She debated talking to Joel. If anyone in town understood her it was him. Joel knew her inside out, could talk to her with just a look, knew what she was going to do before she did it. But he was settling in fine. He wasn’t struggling like she was. She didn’t want to weigh him down with that when he finally seemed so light.

She hid away for the rest of the day, almost expecting Maria to come and drag her back out again. But she didn’t to her relief. She had her peace and quiet to mope. To wallow in her own stupid sadness and isolation.

Until the evening.

She sighed when there was a knock on the door, probably Ellie ready to go charging around the room rambling off every piece of information about her day with an amused Joel in tow. Though she actually wouldn’t mind that.

But it wasn’t Ellie. Or Joel.

“ hey “

“ I thought- “

“ I know. Look. I just wanted to come and tell you I was sorry if I offended you or something. You just… you seemed like you needed a friend and I wanted to help “ she could tell you genuinely meant it. That you truly were one of those people that was just… nice. Good. Even after the past two decades that had twisted and warped so many others, herself included, you had somehow remained what she assumed was the same.

“ well I don’t… need any help “ you gave a small nod but didn’t immediately leave, shuffling a little awkwardly on the spot “ anything else? “

“ I noticed. I noticed you don’t have anything in the window boxes. I have some spare seeds… flowers can really help brighten the place up. I find that on sad days it’s always a little bit nicer to look at a flower than an empty box “ she opened her mouth to decline, to tell you she didn’t want you in her way. But you seemed to anticipate it “ you won’t even have to see me. Or talk to me. I can do it when you’re not home or if you are I can… I can just knock so you know I’m there. So you can wait for me to leave or- it’s just an idea “

She figured that in the long run giving you something to do that you might take as being helpful, might actually make you leave her alone a little more. And so, ever so slightly reluctantly, she sighed and nodded.

“ fine “ the smile on your face after that almost made her want to smile too. Almost. So kind. So genuine. So… bright.

“ yeah? Okay. Do you have any preferences? Or allergies? Colours maybe- “ she lifted a hand in a silent request for you to shut up.

Be nice.

She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a steady sigh, forcing some attempt at a smile onto her face.

“ anything. Anything is fine “ you gave a nod and turned slightly before pausing. You seemed to debate something for a moment before delving into your pocket and pulling out a small jar of something that looked like jam.

“ I know… I know you said you didn’t want- it goes real nice with the bread “ she waited a second before taking it from your hands. You said nothing else, just gave her a small nod of a goodbye and headed down the steps and across the street.

That evening she ate bread with the jam. It was annoyingly good.

———————————

You’d appeared the next morning to plant the seeds. And then you tended to them everyday. Watering them and doing god knows what to the soil. You would let her know you were there each time, a small knock on the door that you didn’t even mind if she didn’t answer. Just letting her know you were out there. Just as you’d said.

And as time passed she found herself answering it from time to time. Just poking her head around the door to see what you were doing, always there with your small watering can and a smile.

And that was okay. You were okay. Nothing else in her life felt right at that moment. But having a new constant did. And she had to admit that even when she woke up on the couch, rubbing at her sore neck, seeing the sprouts through the window almost made her crack a smile. Almost.

SUMMER

As the cold completely shifted from Jackson’s air she found that not even the warmth could truly raise her mood completely. Everyone in town seemed far more cheery, like the sun had some odd healing ability to make everyone more joyful after the bitter winter and the final week of spring which had been nothing but solid rain fall.

Though Tess, begrudgingly enough, found that her own joys still only stemmed from her family. But also from you. As much as she refused to admit it, she’d found herself looking forward to your small knocks on her door each morning, or on mornings where she left early for patrol she found herself almost hoping you’d be on the porch with your watering can and your smile.

Which she didn’t exactly understand or care to understand either. In fact she blatantly ignored the voices in her head warning that she was going soft. That she was beginning to almost look at you as some kind of friend.

She opened the door more often than not now, even made attempts to ask you about the flowers or ask about your day. You never probed her about herself which she liked. You didn’t pry. You let her be. You let her keep her walls fiercely guarded without so much as a complaint. And she kind of hated the fact that made her like you a little more.

And that morning was no different to the rest now, you had knocked and she had gone out to say hello. Had offered you tea and you had accepted as you so often did.

Her night had been filled with bad dreams. And she had feared that it would send her into another one of those days. Where she wanted to do nothing but hide and mope. But she had forced herself to go outside. At least to say hello.

Annoyingly to her, Maria had been right. And she lived there now. And that meant she had to try. She had to try adjust. Fit in. Be… nice.

She still felt wary around you. Maybe even more so because of how she was beginning to sort of like you. Or maybe tolerate was the better word. She told herself it was anyway. But she had been in Jackson a few months at this point. And after a few months your joy and happiness was bound to wear her down. Even if she was reluctant about it.

“ you know if you take good enough care of these they’ll bloom next spring too “ you said as she hovered by the door watching you “ it takes time and care though. Pretty things but strong enough to survive the winter if they’re tended too correctly “ your eyes flitted up to her for a moment as you said it and she felt the statement were a little more loaded than just being about the flowers.

“ I’ll leave that up to you “ you smiled warmly and looked back down at the plants.

“ here’s hoping “

Tess watched you carefully, still unsure exactly how to pinpoint what she was feeling. She was beginning to like having you around. But also your joy drove her insane. You were annoying. So unbelievably annoying with your bright smile and desire to care.

And yet… you had managed to be the one to coax her out of the house. Yes it was only to her porch but it was still out. You had given her something to almost look forward to each day.

She didn’t like it.

“ oh shit “ she blinked a couple of times to drag herself out of her head to see blood in her peripheral, dripping between your fingers and between the floorboards of the porch.

“ what did you- “

“ fucking sheers they slipped I. Look, it's fine it’s just a cut… You got a bandage or something? “ Tess nodded and glanced towards her door. She realised how bad it would seem to keep you out on the porch. To just leave you there whilst she went looking. But also the thought of you in her home…

“ yeah. Do you wanna… come in? Wanna wash it or something “ part of her almost wished you’d say no, but the relief on your face made her regret the thought instantly

“ thanks Tess “ she headed straight for the kitchen. Not even looking to see if you were behind her, rummaging around in a cupboard for her box of medical supplies.

“ wash it. The sink “ she murmured, watching you carefully from the corner of her eye as you headed for the sink beside her, cupping your hand in some attempt to not drip blood onto the tiles. She looked at your bloody hands, ignoring the guilt rising in her chest at the fact you had injured yourself doing something for her, and reached out for you. She held your cut hand in her palm, leading it carefully under the water. She could feel you watching her, eyes almost burning into her skin as she gently washed away the blood and the soil.

She focussed on the pink swirls twisting down the drain rather than looking at you.

She didn’t like it. Didn’t like how you put her on edge. She didn’t want to go delving into why exactly that was either. Why in the space of 6 months she had gone from despising your very existence, to having you in her home because you’d hurt yourself tending to her flowers. It was a lot to try and process all in one go.

“ Marias always laughing at me “ you said as she turned off the water “ says I’m one of the best snipers in town yet I’m clumsy as shit with anything else. Can shoot a clicker miles off but can’t handle a pair of gardening shears? Idiot “

Maria had told her all about your impressive skills out on patrols. She was yet to see them for herself though, Maria hadn’t paired you together yet. Thankfully. Though she couldn’t lie that curiosity on the matter was strong. She’d always had some morbid fascination with the nicest of people that were able to kill like it was second nature.

A silent chaos raging behind a gentle smile.

“ guns more important than sheers “

“ well that depends on the situation don’t you think? Gun won’t help clip the weeds “

She bandaged your hand silently with the care and tenderness that few saw from her, wrapping it up and admiring her work for a second.

She stood back when she was done not exactly knowing what to say anymore. And she hated it. Despised it. Tess always knew what to say. She was always one step ahead of everyone in the room, but she faltered when it came to you. And she didn’t know why. Or what power you seemed to hold over her as of late. Was it your kindness? Was it the simple fact that you had never shown her nothing but care and respect since day one and she just didn’t know how to accept it? Maybe.

She wandered if you noticed how she looked out of place in her own home. Surrounded by so many things that she had no connection to. Objects that weren’t hers, placed into a house that had once been lived in by others. Loved by others.

Like so many others she had gotten used to not getting attached to materialistic things. She could see you glancing around, how you could probably see that from the way the place looked so… bare. Unloved by her. Un- lived in by her. That you probably figured it out pretty quickly.

You were watching her intently as you wandered the kitchen and she didn’t like it, she didn’t like the way you made her feel like a prey animal ready to dart any moment. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t prey. She wasn’t the hunted. She was the hunter. She was the one with the upper hand.

But not with you. Not with you and your unyielding kindness and desire to know her.

So she turned around and started packing away the medical box slowly and carefully. Just to give her hands something to do.

“ why are you so afraid of me? “ you asked suddenly and she turned around with a confused look on her face. Afraid of you? Why would she possibly be afraid of someone like you.

“ what are you talking about? “

“ you’re afraid. You won’t let me in. You barely even let me be your friend. You keep trying to scare me away with being so… miserable. You have to let people in Tess… and I think it’s because you’re scared yourself I- “

“ I’m not afraid of you “ She said immediately. Her heckles raised at the intrusion. And at the confusion for your sudden lack of ability to not interfere “ are you afraid of me? “ she asked, her voice calm. And low and steady. Intimidating. The way she spoke to people in Boston who were pissing her off and she needed to remind them who she was. Her eyes had not left you for even a second. They were burning into you. Calculated. Smart. Intense.

Some desperate attempt and desire to keep you out. To make you back off. Even if it meant missing those morning knocks and tea on the porch. She couldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t.

But you weren’t afraid of her. You never had been. She could tell. You were stubborn. So unbearably kind but stubborn. Stubborn in the way you had kept up your daily visits even when she wouldn’t answer her door, in the way you still waved at her before she even spoke to you. So stubborn in the way you were standing your ground before her.

“ no. I know I should be. I know what you did. But I’m not “ she folded her arms across her chest, quirking a brow. Who had you been talking to? What could you possibly know. So you hadn’t been refraining from asking her questions all along, you’d been getting your information else where. She was almost impressed. It was smart. Calculated even.

At this point she wouldn’t be surprised if you’d cut yourself on purpose to get inside and make her talk.

“ oh? Oh you know what I did? “

“ someone in town… was gossiping I- everyone’s done bad things “ you said with a shrug.

“ what do you know? “ she advanced on you then. Slowly. Crossing the room to where you stood by the wall. You didn’t move. You held your ground.

“ a lot “

“ tell me “ she wanted to hear you say it. To confirm if what you knew was true. But also because maybe some sick part of her needed reminding what she had once been capable of. Of what she had been before she had become that misery of a human whose only joys came from her pseudo kid and the woman who planted flowers for her.

“ all the people you killed. Tortured “ your voice had dropped to almost a whisper as she stood in front of you. But you still didn’t look scared. And she couldn’t decide how that made her feel. Annoyed? Because she clearly didn’t hold the fear inducing powers she once had. Or… relieved? That she had finally come across someone that took what she had done and dusted it under the rug. Accepted it and moved on.

“ and it doesn’t scare you? “

“ you must’ve had your reasons “ there was a heavy tension hanging in the air, she could feel it thickly between you. Soon enough one of you would choke “ I know what you did. I don’t care. You can’t scare me away Tess “ at this point she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to.

No one had challenged her like that. No one like you anyway. No one so… sweet.

Her old self would’ve laughed. Would’ve laughed in your face and thrown you out. But then again. Her old self would’ve laughed at what she had become too.

Things had changed. And she needed to accept it.

“ stop trying to scare me off “ to her surprise you reached up, your hand gentle on her face. She recoiled at first. As if your fingers were steeped in acid and you’d blistered her skin with your touch. But you waited a moment and did it again. And she froze, unsure of what you were doing or how she was supposed to react to it “ I want to be your friend. Let me. You don’t have to scare every single person that wants to care for you away. If anything you damn well need it “

She didn’t know what to say. Stood there like she was made of stone with your gentle hand on her cheek, your face full of nothing but warmth and affection for her. She felt like a deer in headlights.

“ you don’t know what I need “ she finally spoke, taking a single step back so that your hand fell away. Though she was certain she could still feel it. A kind touch was so unfamiliar to her, so rare that it lingered in her skin “ you know nothing about me “

“ I know enough “ so stubborn. So unwilling to take no for an answer or let yourself be pushed away. She kind of liked it. Liked the challenge “ you have to let people in. Let me in. I know how you feel- “

“ how could you possibly know how I feel “ she almost spat “ you’ve lived here. Comfortable and safe “ you gave a small laugh at that

“ not always “ she didn’t know why she had assumed you had been there so long, maybe because you were so… settled. Adapted “ spent two years captured by a bunch of slavers before I even set foot in Jackson. I’m not some sheltered little girl born into comfort Tess “ she took a step back, eyes narrowing as she tried to asses the new information presented to her.

She knew about slavers. Had been taken by them herself at one point. But two years? She had been there two days, in a tiny camp as they prepared to move her to their main base before she’d managed to get away. Those two days had been hell. She couldn’t imagine two years.

Maybe she had underestimated you after all.

But before she could answer you properly there was another knock to her door.

“ only me! “ Maria’s voice sounded as she entered the house, opening her mouth to say something else but stopping when she saw you stood there. She looked violently overjoyed “ oh! I’m sorry. Didn’t know you had company “ it must have been an odd sight to walk into. Tess as stoney faced as ever and you practically gazing at her.

“ sorry I- “

“ did you need something? “ Tess asked

“ lunch, the whole family. Good haul from the hunting crew today “ family. Her family. As dysfunctional as it was she very much wanted to escape the current situation and see them “ but if you’re busy- “

“ no. I’m not. She was just leaving “ she glanced over at you as you gave a small nod and a smile, quietly excusing yourself and heading for the door.

“ just. Think about what I said Tess? I’ll see you tomorrow “

She didn’t hear the end of that for the entirety of lunch. Maria not usually one to pry. But knowing very much that Ellie and Tommy would. Casually mentioning it and… that was that.

Ellie seemed particularly delighted. Looking at her in a way that she recognised from her own childhood when she realised liking girls wasn’t just a her thing. That she wasn’t the only one. But Tess didn’t probe. Though she was happy in the knowledge Ellie would come to her if she needed.

“ y’know I think it’s real nice “ Joel said to her when she stepped outside stating she needed a little air “ she’s softenin you “ Tess scoffed and folded her arms across her chest

“ you have no idea what you’re talking about. She’s a neighbour. And she looks after the flowers. She’s a pain in my ass”

“ baby steps Tess “ she glanced over at him and he was giving her that look that said he knew something was going on inside her head “ you leave the house more now “

“ to my porch and back “ she mumbled not entirely wanting to get into that conversation. She was not in the mood to discuss her long hours trapped inside her house. And her head.

“ baby. Steps “ she sighed and ran a hand over her face. She was tired.

“ she wants to be my friend “ it sounded so unbelievably juvenile to say out loud. She almost regretted saying it

“ and… you don’t want that? “

“ no “ she said maybe a little too quickly

“ right “ she could feel him watching her, trying to read her as he so often did. The way only two people who had been together for so long could do “ I don’t think I believe that “

“ I’m not asking you to “ he sighed again, used to her stubbornness. Her bad moods.

“ you are allowed to have friends Tess. And… more than that. I don’t know what that girls intentions are, I don’t pretend to know how your mind works either. But if you really didn’t like her then why are you still lettin her around? Tess I know would’ve told her to fuck off and threatened her for good measure for even tryna talk to you if you didn’t like her “

“ you’re talking shit “ he laughed and shrugged

“ you’re proving my point. Tess. Just do something. If you want her? Go get her. Tess I know would. And if not? Tell her to leave you be. Cause this mood you’re in… it’s not nice to see “

“ ‘ the Tess you know’ “ she muttered under breath. She didn’t feel like that Tess anymore.

By the time she walked home she couldn’t tell if she was more annoyed by the entire situation or relieved by it because somehow Joel of all people had begun to put things into perspective for her.

Maybe it was both.

Though the annoyance was slightly winning out. She wasn’t soft. She didn’t like the implications that you were softening her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than you. She hadn’t pushed you away because Maria said she needed to be nice. That’s why.

It was.

Wasn’t it?

She felt a sudden desperate need to prove to herself that what she was thinking was correct. And not Joel.

She was not soft. She was in control.

She didn’t quite know what it was that compelled her feet to head up your porch steps rather than her own. Knocking on the door before she’d even fully come to a halt.

Waiting impatiently for you to answer, looking a little surprised to see her when you did appear.

She pushed past the threshold, watching you take a step back in mild confusion at her sudden intrusion, cupping your face in both her hands and kissing you. You stumbled for barely half a second, kissing her back with a muffled moan and your fingers wrapping around her wrists.

The confidence she was used to felt far more present in your space, in the four walls of your home rather than her own.

She pressed you up against the closest wall, kissing you like her life depended on it. Far more in control than she was a few hours earlier. Than she had been in a while.

And this was it. This was the familiarity she had craved wasn’t it? This was the power she had been missing, the ability to take what she wanted when she wanted it. Even when she wasn’t entirely sure it was what she wanted.

So why didn’t it feel the same. Why did it not even slightly fill the void in her chest.

You were breathing heavily as she pulled away to catch her own breath, a joyful almost dopey smile on your face. You looked so incredibly beautiful. Sweet.

She’d break you. She would. She knew she would. It was a vicious awful cycle. Anyone she got close to got hurt. Friend or… more. It would all end the same way.

“ this won’t end well “ she said quietly, not entirely meaning to say it out loud. The words escaping her as she watched you, someone so beautiful and kind didn’t belong with someone like her.

Someone who had not let the awful things that happened to them twist them into something unrecognisable. In the way that Tess had.

It would be a mess.

“ maybe not “ you answered, voice just as quiet “ but did you ever stop to think that maybe it will be okay? “

“ no “ you laughed softly, head leaning back against the wall and your eyes falling closed for a moment. She wished she could have such a carefree look. She didn’t think her face even knew how to relax into such an expression.

“ have a little faith “

AUTUMN

It had been over 20 years since her life had completely fallen apart. And a lot could happen in 20 years. A lot had happened. Tess was good at having bad shit happen and then burying it so deep down that she didn’t have to think about it. She was good at having a blank face when inside she was screaming. But in the end, one person could only hide so much stuff for so long. Eventually it would spill. And every now and again it did.

And when it did? It was suffocating.

It struck her out of no where. She never saw it coming.

Sometimes it almost scared her. Scared her that the stuff she had done wasn’t even the worst of what kept her up at night. She had no remorse for the people she had killed. Tortured. Those bodies and those sounds. They didn’t haunt her. The stuff that had come before that had damaged her beyond repair.

The first few years had been the worst. Before FEDRA had full control, before any rules were in full effect. When everyone ran rampant, when people looted and murdered because they felt like it. When groups formed and did whatever they wanted. To who they wanted. When Tess had been alone. Had left her home with nothing but the clothes on her back and ran. And ran. And by some miracle survived.

That time before Joel. Before the entirety of the group making their way up to Boston.

Tess didn’t get scared. She wasn’t afraid of things. But she had been back then. She had been so afraid.

So utterly powerless and out of control.

She tried to see the positives as ridiculous as it sounded. Tried to twist the shitty things that had happened. The shitty things that she had done. She had done them to survive. And maybe that scared her even more. That she felt justified in her actions.

That she could think back to certain people she had tortured. Killed. Ambushed. And justify it. Not feel as though she had done the wrong thing at all.

And that she would do it all again if she needed to.

She would throw herself in front of trucks feigning an injury. Just a poor, defenceless woman. Beg for help only for Joel and the others to spring from the bushes and take everything they had. She’d kill every man and woman that got in the way of her rise in the smuggling ring. She’d tortured ever last piece of information out of those fuckers who had taken Ellie. Murdered every. Last. Firefly. In that hospital.

All again. A million times over.

But her humanity was still in her somewhere. Buried deep down but there. And when it reared its head it was ugly. Filled with words to make her feel like the worst person alive. Fill her ears with the strangled cries of her son. The sickening sound of the blood that pooled in her husband’s throat.

It made her feel numb. Like she was floating. No longer in her body and desperately trying to claw her way back down to it.

“ Tess? “ she was too lost to react. Too deep inside her own head to even turn around and look at you. But she knew that voice. The voice that had become as familiar as Maria’s. Ellie’s. Joels “ Tess what are you doing it’s freezing out here “ your voice was soft compared to the voices that were screeching inside her head, soothing. Gentle. Quieter yet somehow speaking over the screaming ones.

Your hands fell onto her arm and she flinched, shifting away from your touch.

“ hey. Sorry “ you said softly, hands raised in some kind of surrender “ won’t touch you again “ the voices were still shouting at her, but a little further off now. Like she was on one side of the room and they were on the other. And wasn’t that interesting. Where in the past only Joel had been able to coax her back to reality. Ground her. Now you had. And she had known you far less “ can I sit? “ she gave a small nod and you sat down, leaving a small gap between you both.

Things between the two of you had been a little different as of late.

You hadn’t kissed since that day she’d barged through your front door and re established that she was very much the one holding the reins. But she was letting herself be lighter. Trying her hardest to open up to you. To go into town more. Smile back at people. And it was hard. And slow going. But she was getting there.

Baby steps. Like Joel had said.

“ I’m gonna go get a blanket okay? It’s so cold “ she listened as you went inside, returning a few moments later.

“ why are you here? “ she asked as you sat down beside her again, wrapping the blanket around you both.

“ I was out on late patrol. I saw the light on… was gonna come see why you were still up. Have a chat or something… you didn’t answer so I just poked my head inside and I saw the back door was open“

She gave a small nod and continued staring out at the backyard. She hadn’t really done much to it. But there was a rope swinging attached to the large tree at the bottom now. Ellie loved it.

“ do you need to talk? About anything? “ you asked quietly “ it’s what friends are for you know. Talking “

“ I’ve never been very good at friends “ you gave a small laugh and nodded

“ yeah. I figured that one out myself “ you shuffled a little closer to her, nudging her leg with yours “ you must’ve had friends at some point “

The ones that truly stuck in her mind were Bill and Frank. Frank would’ve loved you she realised very quickly. You were so alike. So happy. Made to see the positive in absolutely every single thing. Yet becoming friends with Frank had been far easier than becoming friends with you.

She’d been different back then.

“ I had. I had friends “ she started, realising in that moment that she had never actually spoken about Bill and Frank since they’d died. Her and Joel had done as they always had and refused to talk about it. Let it settle and weigh heavy until it began to dissipate on its own “ they lived a few miles out of Boston. Met them over the radio “

“ they weren’t in a zone? “

“ no. Bill… fuckin crazy been planning for doomsday his whole life. Had the whole town mapped out and wired up “ she actually cracked a small smile thinking about it “ Frank though. I think. I think he’s the closest thing to a friend I really had “

She missed him. She missed them both. And missing Bill was something she never thought she’d feel, even if he was more open to her company than Joel’s.

You listened diligently as she spoke about Lincoln. Dinners in the garden and Bills stash of supplies, the awkwardness that always lingered between Bill and Joel. The bi monthly drop offs that had started increasing in distance as Frank got sicker and Bill got older. And then finding them with Ellie. The silent moment she had taken in the garden to cry for her lost friends whilst Ellie showered and Joel fixed the car.

“ they sound like amazing people “ she shrugged and glanced over at you for a moment. And maybe it was silly of her to take so long to realise it. But maybe she had a friend in you, maybe more than that. Maybe she had done all along and had been too blinded by her own self loathing and moping around to truly notice it.

It was the early hours of the morning and there you were, sat on her porch steps in the dark. Listening to her talk. Comforting her. And she realised that you were exactly what she needed. In that moment and every other moment to follow. Your compassion and your calming force of a personality. The way you cared…. Loved even. Your stubbornness. Your loyalty.

“ thank you “ she said quietly “ for being here “ you looked up at her and smiled. That warm, sweet smile that made even the coldest of days feel mild. Tess was all sharp edges and bitter words, someone so soft should be keeping a safe distance to ensure they didn’t get cut. But you weren’t afraid. You never had been “ for everything “ she didn’t want to elaborate and you didnt make her.

She reached forward to cup your face in her hand, thumb tracing over your cheekbone. You understood her in a way it had taken Joel 20 years to. Some odd force of nature that wiggled your way through the cracks in her heavily guarded walls.

Her eyes drifted down to your lips. Remembering the hard, forceful kiss you had shared that one time before. The kind she was used to. The kind she was good at. She wasn’t very good at being tender and caring. Kissing and all that lead from it had long since been something she did out of care and love. It was a means to an end. A release. A way to remind herself she was human.

But it didn’t have to be that way anymore.

“ you gonna kiss me or not? “ you whispered. And it made her lips twitch into a smile.

Tess had kissed a lot of people in her time. And if she was perfectly honest she wasn’t entirely a fan. Kisses were not like how the movies or books portrayed them most of the time. Uncoordinated or clumsy, too much teeth or tongue. She didn’t care much for kissing.

But kissing you was different. Kissing you was like a shot of adrenaline straight into her veins. It was the closest she felt she could come to understanding why Joel had been so hooked on pills before Ellie. It was addictive.

But something had changed now. Some locked gate inside of her had finally clicked open and you had seized the opportunity to slip your way inside. And she surprised herself with the realisation that it actually didn’t seem all that terrifying now, having you there. Having those feelings and thoughts.

Of course there was still… something. But it was less so.

Holding your face in her hand, your willingness to let her lead and melt into her. With every soft and gentle movement of her lips against yours she felt herself slipping. Like when the winter storms would hit Boston and her worn down boots couldn’t find grip on the icy paths.

But this slip wouldn’t end with her falling flat on her ass and nursing a bruised leg. You were keeping her tethered. Your fingers that were looped around her wrist, your hair that was tickling her face.

It made her feel startlingly real. Alive. Present. Present in a moment in a way she hadn’t done all day, she’d spent the day drifting. Some far off place in her head where her demons scrambled over her and suffocated the air out of her lungs. But she was breathing fine now, breathing in air that was yours, breathing as if you were her air.

She kissed you until her jaw started to ache, not sure how long it had been or how many quick seconds apart to catch her breath there had been. But when she finally did let you go the fog that had been blinding her all day seemed to have disappeared. Everything felt as though she were looking through glasses that had just had the lenses cleaned.

Sharper. Clearer.

“ it’s really fuckin cold “ she murmured, causing a giggle to bubble past your lips.

“ yeah. It’s freezing “ you didn’t seem even mildly pissed that that had been her first words after practically kissing your face off. Instead you both silently seemed to agree to go inside, collapsing onto her couch and kissing some more.

Something had shifted after that. Had changed after she’d woken up the following morning on the couch with you.

She actively chose to be around you, even more so than she had been. Spent enough time with you that people began to murmur about it. But she found she no longer cared.

There was still an odd weight looming in her chest, one she was certain may never actually go away. But it was far lighter than it had been.

WINTER

Tess had always preferred winter to summer. Especially after Boston. She hated those sticky summer days. Especially in that apartment that was freezing in winter but a sauna in the summer, no comfortable in between. Days when she felt like the heat was suffocating her and every drop of water she drank sweated its way out of her within the minute.

Winter felt so much… fresher. She liked the snow and the opportunities to wrap up and be warm on her own terms.

Some people found it bleak. But she rather enjoyed it.

You seemed to like it too. Because you could use the cold weather as an excuse to be close to her. And it felt nice. To have you there, to have you wanting to be near her. Even if she was beginning to believe you were forgetting your gloves on purpose now so she would hold your hand.

The arrival of the winter months had brought along the silent confirmation that you two were… something now. Dating didn’t feel right. That word didn’t feel like it belonged in the world anymore. And there had been no real discussions of the matter, mostly due to her own refusal to mention it. And ‘girlfriend’… it felt a little juvenile. Even if was Ellie teasing her every fucking day that you were in fact her girlfriend now.

Jackson was starting to feel more like somewhere she could begin to call home. Riding back through the gates with Joel, watching them close behind her but not feeling that feeling of imprisonment anymore. Not feeling as trapped as the walls in Boston, but finally feeling safe.

She walked into the Bison, happy to find it slightly less crowded than it could be. She walked over to the bar, smiling at the guy stood drying off a glass

“ hey… she here? “ something in her still prickled with an odd sense of anxiety that she didn’t need to ask for you by name now. That they all knew who she meant. That Tess would not venture into the bison alone for anyone else, and that you would never be leaving with anyone else but her.

But she pushed it aside.

“ yeah she’s out the back. I’ll grab her “ she waited patiently as he disappeared through the door, glancing around with some still deep rooted fear that someone was watching her. She didn’t think she’d ever shake that. But she had to remind herself that no one there was after her. No one there was watching her to find her weakness and abuse it.

“ hey you “ you appeared through the door a few moments later and you greeted with that beaming smile of yours, looking at her as if she were the singular source of joy in your life. You leant over the bar and she met you half way, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. It was the kind of kiss that was… familiar. The kind two people in love shared without thought, something as simple and regular as breathing.

“ having fun? “

“ oh yeah. Making sandwiches, riveting stuff “ she watched you wipe your hands off on a towel before slipping your way out from behind the bar “ but I’d really like to go home now “ Tess nodded and offered you her arm without needing to be asked, your hands slipping into their usual place and huddling close against her.

It was getting chillier out, the sky had taken on that odd yellowy state that signalled impending snow. The kind of day that back in Boston would’ve been some forewarning of an impending low ration season. But there was no such thing in Jackson.

You spoke about your shift in the bison as you walked and Tess listened diligently, all the while silently musing over you asking to go home. And very much heading with Tess towards hers.

But. You stayed over more often than not now. Your things were starting to intermingle with her own, the space that had previously felt so barren and so disconnected from herself… now felt almost like a home.

There were some of Ellie’s drawings tacked to the fridge, her talent alone making the space seem a little more lived in. A few pictures had been framed now too and dotted about the place. Tess, Joel and Ellie over for dinner at Tommy and Maria’s. Another of Ellie pulling a stupid face with Joel looking slightly amused at her side. One of you and her, you beaming at the camera as she looked at you. Maria had taken that one much to Tess’ original dismay. But she was quite thankful for it now.

That was the first piece of you that had made its way into her home.

You had a toothbrush in her bathroom now. A spare jacket on the hooks by the door. A small box of gardening tools by the front door. A hand knitted blanket across the back of her couch.

You were in the air even. The air wafted of the flowers you adored wherever you went, you filled the place she had only ever referred to as a house into home.

And sometimes it almost made her want to laugh. Laugh at herself for what she had become. Tess didn’t take things slow like this. Tess didn’t let her space be invaded by someone else. Tess didn’t have feelings or let herself… love.

Which was exactly what she was feeling more and more these days. Which was completely and utterly terrifying but she found she was just letting it happen. Because she could. And because she was allowed to.

She wasn’t old Tess anymore. If anything she was beginning to feel as though she was slowly becoming more and more like the version of herself that had existed before an apocalypse had destroyed the world. The kind of woman that did date and did take things slow. That had girlfriends or boyfriends and wasn’t scared. Was care free and happy.

And maybe that was more scary than the fear she had felt at losing the version of herself that had developed over 20 years of hell.

She was beginning to think that nothing would ever be without fear these days. But she was working on it. And it was lessening.

And you becoming a permanent fixture in her house was part of that.

Quite often the nights ended exactly as they currently were too. With you walking home together, cuddling up together on the couch to escape the chill of winter.

And making out until she forgot how to breathe.

It had not been more than that. She hadn’t allowed herself to let it be. Had happily let you sit in her lap or let you pull her down over you and sink into the couch cushions. But she never let it progress.

She didn’t truly think about why and you had never asked it of her either. Until tonight.

“ why are you holding back? “ you whispered, pulling back from her slightly. Still close enough that she could feel your breath against her lips.

Why was she holding back?

Because you weren’t some random girl she picked up in the zone because she was bored and lonely. Because until you, sex had become something with little feeling. Something to do because she needed some human contact that wasn’t Joel stitching up a stab wound.

And it was funny, really, when she thought about why she was holding back. Why as much as she may have wanted to, as much as the old her would’ve gone and gotten what she wanted months ago… she hadn’t.

Because it hadn’t felt right. Hadn’t been the time. You deserved more than that. You deserved more than a quick, meaningless fuck off somewhere secluded because she wanted to feel like a human being again. No, you deserved more.

Maybe you still did. She couldn’t figure it out yet.

But what she did know, was if now was not the time then she would wait. She would wait a million and one lifetimes. As much as she knew the short serotonin boost would breathe some life into her for a few hours again… she would endure. Because when she really thought about it, that wasn’t what she wanted really.

She wanted you. Of course she did. Needed you. In every single sense of the phrase. You had been a shiny little light in her darkness, you had prevailed and endured her bitterness to discover something sweet hiding beneath.

And so you deserved the best. Deserved every ounce of love and compassion Tess could find deep within herself.

“ where’d you go? Hm? “ you whispered softly, fingers trailing along the side of her face and tucking an unruly strand of her greying hair behind her ear “ you seem… else where “

“ just thinkin “ your touch was gentle, fingertips somehow still smooth and soft. So different to hers, calloused from years of fighting and doing shitty jobs in the QZ. She felt too rough for you. Too sharp around the edges. Like her hold on you alone could shatter you.

She knew in reality you weren’t delicate. She had watched you shoot like a trained marksmen. Had seen you jump on clickers and stab them until you face was splattered in blood. Chop firewood for town like it was nothing. You were strong. Capable. And yet she felt like she could bruise you like a peach just by looking at you wrong. She was no stranger to your strengths, your capabilities. Yet to her? She felt she could always see you as breakable.

Fine China. Soft fruit. The petals of the flowers you cared so much about.

Soft and pure and delicate. Not made to be touched by the rough and ready hands of the likes of her

And yet…

“ thinking about me? “ you said it with a small laugh, half joking. Half hoping. She gave you a small smile, a small nod.

“ of course “ it came out so quiet she wasn’t even sure she’d really said it right away. But your warm smile told her she had. And you’d heard. And even now, even in that moment, she still took a moment to be amazed at that smile. Amazed that it was because of her. You were smiling because she was thinking of you. You were on her mind. And you liked that.

Her hands twitched slightly at their place on your waist. Almost involuntarily. Like they were trying to make her move, go ahead. Do… something.

You looked down for a second before letting go of your gentle hold of her face, sliding your hands along her arms and trailing your fingers over her wrists.

“ I’m not going to break “ you picked up her hands, moving them down to brush over your ass, your thighs “ you can touch me “ she was afraid she’d do something stupid like blush. So she kissed you again, gently tugging you close by her soft hold on your thighs.

Your hands slid back up her arms, over her shoulders, up to hold the back of her neck, your fingertips slipping under the collar of her shirt. Everything about you was soft. Precise and purposeful. She could practically feel the desire radiating out of your fingers. But also the care.

She hadnt been touched like that in… a while. Touched in a way that conveyed love. A way that was gentle. Caring. Deliberate and slow. Like you wanted to take your time, in a way akin to how you had behaved since you had met her. You wanted to know her. To understand her. To peel back the layers she kept pulling on to keep you out.

And maybe a part of her would always want to keep you out, deep down. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a vulnerability she was still learning to adjust to.

But she was adjusting. Had been. And it felt right now. Felt right having the soft weight of you on her thighs, having your gentle fingers rid her of her sweater. Felt the shame of her equally as raging desire dissipate.

It was okay. She was okay.

She watched your deft fingers carefully unbutton your plaid shirt, one that now she thought about it looked remarkably like one of hers. When had you taken that she wondered.

She let her hands slip over the bare skin of your waist, disappearing under the soft worn cotton of your- her? - shirt. There was a scar along your ribs, the kind that had been there a while. No longer angry and red but faded and soft. She ran her thumb across it.

“ chains “ you said, answering her unasked question.

“ the slavers? “ she murmured, still tracing her thumb over the long stretch of scarred skin. You hummed a reply, your eyes watching her intently

“ plenty of permanent reminders of those fuckers on me “ it still baffled her how you had endured such cruelty and appeared on the other side as gentle as you were. She wanted to track those fuckers down. Torture every single last one that had even looked at you wrong. And reserve a special place in hell for the ones who had left their permanent marks.

She leant forward, dipping her head and pressing her lips to the scar. Your chest deflated in a soft sigh as she did, ghosting her lips over the skin in some feeble attempt to replace the pain with care. Your fingers laced into her hair, silently urging her to kiss you some more. And she did. She kissed up your chest, breath stuttering embarrassingly as her cheek brushed against the cotton covered swell of your chest as she pressed kisses to your sternum.

Everything about you was soft.

She inhaled deeply, your skin smelt of that familiar scent of being outdoors. As if winter air had been bottled and sprayed across your skin like perfume. Something so usually mundane and common place, yet intoxicating on you.

She kissed up your neck, skin in flames with every single soft sigh it caused you to let out.

“ can… can I.. “ you said in between kisses, hands now fumbling with the button of her jeans.

“ not here “ she murmured, pulling away from your lips slightly reluctantly “ you deserve better than the fuckin couch “ that made you smile, head titling to the side inquisitively.

“ well aren’t you just a lady “ Tess scoffed, patting your leg gently to urge you to stand up

“ lady? You must be thinkin of someone else “ you seemed reluctant to stop kissing her, grabbing her multiple times on the way out of the lounge. Including a long pause on the stairs where she almost regretted suggesting you move. And seriously debated just letting the entire thing play out right there on the staircase.

She’d never really been one for kissing. But with you she couldn’t stop. She was obsessed. A woman possessed. And she was taking her time.

But she remained on track. Leading you into her bedroom and the bed she had barely slept in.

She sat down on the edge, watching you as you closed the door before turning to her. Leaning back against it for a moment.

You were truly something. Stood there in your jeans and your bra. Your mismatched socks and your ruffled hair. Lips kiss swollen and eyes watching her intently.

“ c’mere “ she said quietly, gesturing you over with a tilt of her head. You wandered over, coming to a stop in front of her and reaching out to cup her face gently “ you’re so fuckin beautiful you know “ she said, not entirely intending to say it out loud and rather just think it. But the blush that crept across your cheeks made her glad she had said it.

“ you think? “ she hummed a reply, her fingers trailing up and down the backs of your thighs.

She didn’t know what it was about having you there in that room. Her room. Alone. It felt so incredibly intimate. In fact the entire night had. She’d never taken such… time. Time to explore and to appreciate, to admire. And now to have you in bedroom, a room she had barely been able to step foot in alone since arriving in town. But felt almost at ease with you there.

It was a lot to attempt to process all at once. And so she decided not to. That it wasn’t the time to send herself spiralling into yet another pit of despair and dread, she focussed all her attention back to you.

“ you’re sweet “

“ I’m not sweet I’m honest “ you smiled again at that. In reality she was not an honest person. She was deceitful and not to be trusted by anyone but Joel. But you trusted her. And she was honest with you.

She was. You truly were beautiful. And she felt a fool that it had taken her as long as it had to stop and really look at you. Had spent so long despising your presence rather than admiring you from day one.

She slipped her hands further up your legs, cupping the denim clad flesh of your ass and pushing you forward slightly. You took the hint, stepping over her legs and placing yourself back in her lap. Your arms looped loosely around her neck.

She couldn’t resist diving forward, lips against your neck and teeth grazing your soft skin in a way that made the most delicious sounds leave your lips.

“ oh, Tess “ your fingers tugged lightly at her hair as she continued her gentle assault, hands wandering and desperate to touch as much of you as she could. “ I can’t take much more of this teasing “ you whispered after a few moments, tugging at her hair to make her raise her head.

Her fingers ghosted over the blooming marks on your skin. Blossoming spots of red and purple, marks of a gentle cruelty that had sent the most beautiful look of bliss to overcome your face. Yet another mark of possession on your skin, but not of chains and binds this time…. Of hatred. But of teeth. Of lips. Of desire.

Possession through the deep rooted need to keep you as her own, but simply to hold. To protect. To love.

“ Tess “ she wouldn’t make you wait any longer. She wanted to keep touching, to commit every single inch of you to memory. But she figured that she’d have plenty of opportunities to do so.

And she would give you anything you asked of her. So she would not make you wait.

Through a desire blurred haze she manoeuvred you to lay down, a blur of clothing making its way to the floor and soft moans as her hands ventured downwards.

“ no no keep looking at me “ she said, her voice as quiet as it had been since you’d lead her up those stairs, coaxing your head up from where you were hiding with her free hand “ that’s it I wanna see you “ you slipped a hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her down to press your forehead against hers with a small nod, lips parted slightly as she moved her fingers in soft circles.

She lost track of time. Of all straight forward thinking. The seconds and the minutes all blurring into a moonlit haze of body parts in her mind. She took her time, breaking you down and unwinding every single knot under your skin.

Nothing else existed outside the four walls of that room, just you and her. The soft lewd sounds of her fingers between your legs, your quiet whimpers and gasps into her mouth, the rustle of the sheets beneath you as you arched and writhed beneath her.

There was something incredible about having you there, foreheads pressed together as she hovered over you, something so… romantic. How your hands held onto her, fingertips warm like they were branding her skin. Isolated in that room in a newer way than she had been used to.

And when she finally brought you to your long awaited climax, she watched you intently. Admiring the beautiful way your face moved and contorted in pleasure, watching your lips part and your legs tremble.

You returned the favour once you’d regained your regular breathing pattern. Pushing her onto her back and leading a trail of soft kisses down her chest and her stomach, settling between her legs and sending her eyes falling into the back of her head.

Her back arching off the mattress and her hand twisting into your hair, relishing in a bliss she hadn’t felt in an incredibly long time.

And then you lay there together. A comfortable silence enveloping the room, only disturbed by the occasional kiss or soft sigh.

Tess’ fingers played gently with your hair, inevitably lulling you into sleep. And she took the time to think.

She realised that in the time she had lived there it was her first night actually sleeping in her bed. She glanced down at where you were sound asleep on her chest, the weight and warmth of you pressed against her keeping away any anxious thoughts that wanted to creep into her mind.

And she didn’t want to escape downstairs, didn’t want to run. To push you away and tell you to leave. That sleeping together was far more intimate to her than any form of sex act could be.

The thoughts didn’t come.

It had taken her meeting you to finally come to terms with what her life was now. And the things that she had done. That in the current climate there were really no good or bad people. Just human beings trying to survive. Do whatever it took to live to see another day. Doing unspeakable things to get by and trying to convince themselves afterwards that they had done the right thing. That they had had no choice.

And that was okay. She was coming to peace with that. She would never fully forget, but neither would anyone else. But that was okay. Because as long as she had you by her side, she was quite content in the knowledge that she could handle it.

That then come spring those flowers you had planted would bloom again and she would let her fears die with the frost.

Everything would be okay.

#I post this reluctantly #because you read anons have been so rude to me lately #unnecessary #tess servopoulos #tess servopoulos x reader #the last of us #tlou #tess tlou #tess x reader #Joel miller #ellie williams #x you #x reader #tlou fanfiction #Anna torv #tlou hbo

71 notes · View notes

foreverdolly · 1 year

Text

𝐅𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 | 𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐬!𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

summary: you’re hoping to make a good impression on your new boss. there’s just one problem: he’s an asshole. a very hot asshole.

pairings: boss!austin x employee!reader

word count: 2.2k

warning/notes: you guys have begged for more fake dating, so here it is. the beginning of what will be the end. this love story is adorable, and their dynamic is my absolute favorite. can't wait to post part three in the next week.

↰ previous part | next part ↱

“Well I heard he’s quite the looker.” Sophia mumbled under her breath, practically jogging to keep up with your long strides. The last thing you wanted was to be late for the big floor meeting, especially since you were about to be introduced to your new boss. That would be the icing on the shitty cake. Still, you refused to let this morning's parking ticket ruin your good mood.

“Who said that? Nobody aside from Jeff has seen him, and that was only to finalize his paperwork.” One of the plant's leaves slapped you in the face as you began climbing the stairs, and with a groan you tucked the pot a little closer to your side, freeing up your vision so that you wouldn’t fall forward and bust your ass. You had picked up a little welcome gift for the newbie last night during your trip to the grocery store. It was only once you had gotten home that you realized that the plant didn’t have any plastic marker that stated its “preferences”. You hoped your newfound boss wouldn’t mind doing some googling in order to take care of his new greenery. Thankfully the man would be getting one of the nicer offices, which meant he’d have window space.

“Martha from the first floor. She greeted him last week when he ran by to sign some papers.” Sophia was already out of breath from quickly climbing the stairs, muttering a few curse words as she tried to keep up with you and your fast pace.

Martha was also a fifty year old crazy cat lady, so her saying that the mystery man was “handsome” meant nothing to you. If anything you were even more suspect about his good looks than you had been before. You let out a breathy laugh, freeing up one of your hands to open up the door for your best friend.

“Martha also thinks that the mail delivery guy is a “looker”, and that guy has a receding hairline and buck teeth.” You were quick to fire back.

Sophia looked like she wanted to argue, but stopped herself, a thoughtful look befalling her face. “Yeah. . . no, you’re totally right. Why didn’t I think of that? He’s probably going to have two heads.”

You laughed loudly at that, turning to face your best friend as you continued the familiar walk to the conference room. “He’s probably bald- oof!” You grunted as you walked into a solid chest, the potted plant nearly flying out of your grasp.

The person that you bumped into moved lightening fast, strong arms coming to wrap around both the pot and your arms. A little bit of dirt fell on the ground, and as you stared down at it you began to feel sorry for Javie, the janitor. You loved that tiny man. Behind you Sophia sucked in a breath, though you were too embarrassed to really pay attention to anything else other than the stranger’s dirt covered sleeve. You reached out, brushing off their nice- very expensive- blazer.

“God, I should have been paying better attention to where I was walking. I’m so sorry.” You apologized, looking up at who you thought was Jeff.

Because this person was practically a giant compared to most of the people on this floor, and the outfit and shoes? That was at least two months worth of your pay- if not more. Designer, no doubt. When you looked up, rather than meeting Jeff’s familiar brown eyes- you were met with blue.

And there he was, in all of his glory. Him being “quite the looker” was the understatement of the century. This man was a model. His wire rimmed glasses did nothing to make him look boyish. The stranger in front of you was all man. For a few seconds all the two of you did was stare at each other. The blonde looked just as stunned as you did, his plush lips softly parted, eyes wide as he took in your features. After a moment he cleared his throat, his jaw clenching as he must have realized that the two of you were blocking hallway traffic, his hands still firmly wrapped around you.

“We’re about to be late for the meeting.” He took a step back, and the loss of his firm grip on your arm nearly took your breath away.

Within seconds his warm, even soft blue eyes had hardened, his outwardly caring exterior turning ice cold. You tossed a look behind you at Sophia, dropping your jaw animatedly only for her to see before moving quickly to fall in step next to your new boss. “I’m so sorry about your blazer. I’ll pay for the dry cleaning-”

He was already unbuttoning the soiled jacket, shrugging it off of his broad shoulders so that he was only standing in his crisp button up shirt and tie. His waist was narrow, accentuated by his belt. You could tell he was fit underneath all of those clothes. You hated yourself for it, but you were practically drooling.

“Don’t worry about it. Just work hard for me from now on and we’ll call it even. Yeah?” He cut his eyes over towards you, and though you wanted to shrink under his gaze you merely held your head high and nodded. You were above outwardly fawning over the new guy.

You weren’t, however, above silently crushing from afar.

The man commanded the room unlike anything you’d ever seen before. Everything about his posture, his broad shoulders, and the surety of his actions told you that he meant business. Everybody stayed mostly silent as he introduced himself. Austin Butler. He looked like an Austin, you supposed. As he spoke you tried to rearrange the dirt in the pot with your fingers, smoothing it out so that it no longer looked ruined. The card in your purse suddenly seemed like overkill. You wanted him to think that you were nice, not a kiss ass. Then again, you needed to fix the horrible impression you had no doubt left him with earlier. He breezed out of the room the second that he was finished with the meeting, seemingly in a hurry to rid himself of the crowded room. Jeff was nowhere to be seen, but he had sent you an email earlier stating that he might be late coming back from lunch. His wife was out of town and their beloved cat, Mr Samson, hadn’t been eating well over the last week. You stood up, addressing the room with a bright smile.

“Alright everyone, Jeff is going to be busy for the rest of the day, meaning you’ll either report directly to me or Mr Butler. Jenna? Can you drop by my cubicle before you leave today? I’ve got that Henderson file for you.” The blonde nodded, lazily joining the crowd as they dispersed out of the room. For a second you stood at the head of the long table, your eyes nervously darting back over to Sophia.

“Thank god I work the payroll. I’d probably have a heart attack if I had to talk to Austin every day.” She mumbled, pretending to fan herself.

You grabbed the plant off of the table, straightening out your shoulders as you walked over towards the door. “Well- let’s just hope that I didn’t fuck it up already. The last thing I need is for the guy to hate me.”

You waved your goodbyes before heading straight towards the once unoccupied office. There were a few boxes on the floor, but there weren’t any decorations up yet. No pictures of wives or children, which you hoped meant that he was single. Not like you wanted to date him. . . just ogle from afar. You knocked on the open door, ducking your head in to shoot him one of your dazzling smiles. It usually worked on everyone. Almost everyone. Austin didn’t smile back.

Your heart rate began to pick up as you held the plant up, giving it a gentle shake before placing it on the edge of his spotless desk.

“It’s a little bit ironic, but I bought this for you. Consider it a welcome gift from me and my team.” Before he could say anything else, you were already digging into your purse, handing over the card too.

He slowly took it from you, shooting you an incredulous look before opening it. You weren’t sure why. . . but his standoffish attitude was rubbing you the wrong way. Maybe it was the fact that he was outwardly perfect. You should have expected him to be rude. Pretty people are often rotten on the inside. You cleared your throat, pointing at the card.

“Just a few words of encouragement. I thought it might make you feel a little more comfortable around all of these new faces. If you ever nee-”

And then he did it. Did this thing.

He sighed. He sighed like you were bothering him. Like your presence was a nuisance. Your face fell, your teeth clenched, and all at once you decided that you couldn’t stand Austin Butler. He was blowing you off. Shrugging off your kind gestures. Your unnecessarily kind gestures. Your hands balled up into fists at your sides as you tried to fight off the urge to slap the glasses right off of his pretty-boy face.

“I’m not trying to be rude, but I’m really busy at the moment.” He was cool guying you. He was totally fucking cool guying you right now.

“Oh,” Your voice had lowered an octave, shaking with anger. He seemed to notice, his eyes quickly flickering up to meet your face. “I can see that I came at the wrong time.”

You started to walk out of the office, flinching back slightly as you saw Jeff headed towards you with a bright smile. You were heatedly walking off in the direction of your cubicle before the older man could say anything to you.

It was decided. Set in stone.

You hated Austin Butler with a passion.

“Well, what was that about?” Jeff closed the door behind him, nodding off in the direction of the female.

Austin read over the name again and again, signed in her adorable handwriting. He let out another sigh, tossing the card down onto his desk before he covered his face with his hands.

“I don’t know. I panicked. Shit, now she thinks I’m an asshole.” His office chair creaked as he leaned back, praying that the floor would swallow him up.

He had been so overwhelmed in the meeting. He probably came off as cold, which was exactly what he didn’t want to do. His anxiety had gotten the best of him today, and you were proof. Because he had seen you in the hall before you bumped into him. He could have prevented all of that from happening. And how could he not see you? He had been so focused on your button up blouse and form fitting pencil skirt that he had forgotten how to function. And then he learns that not only are you working on the same floor, but working directly under him. Meaning that he would have to talk to you. Every day. Austin didn’t do crushes. He was a workaholic. He was the king of heating up leftovers and eating alone every night. He was too busy for relationships, so it shouldn’t matter that the prettiest girl he had ever seen was just a stone's throw away from him. Right? Right?

“Well, you’re screwed now.” Jeff smiled smugly, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back against the door.

Austin’s heart jumped up to his throat, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form a sentence. He looked like an idiot.

“W-What do you mean? I’m screwed? Do you think she hates me? Already?”

Jeff opened the door a crack, peeking his head out. Austin was quick to stand up from his desk, joining him by the door. And there you were, tossing your purse onto your desk like the inanimate object had personally offended you. He had the perfect view of you from his office. He was doomed. Jeff watched her for a few more seconds before clicking his tongue.

“. . . Oh, definitely.”

Austin tore the glasses off of his face, tossing them down onto his desk so that he could rub at his eyes exasperatedly.

“How do I fix it? God. . . Should I go out there right now?” Austin motioned towards the door with one hand, loosening his tie with the other. It felt like it was choking him.

“Take her out on a date.” Jeff was smiling smugly again, shaking his head in pretend disapproval. “I can’t believe you already offended the most hot headed female that I’ve ever met. I was gone for an hour.”

Austin sucked in a breath, his knees buckling underneath him. He had to lean against the desk for support. “I’m not going to take her on a date. I’m her boss, Jeff.” The younger male practically gasped.

Jeff opened the door, leaving the boy with some parting words. “I wasn’t born yesterday, Butler. I give it. . . six months. You’ll see.”

@knoxvillesshoes@cosmorant@ol1viam@simply-sams-things@haim80s@gabbcabb@8hgel@slutt4him@busy-bee-angel-misska@kaitaesupremacy@dazedshoon @4rt3m1ss@cryingabtab@kittenlittle24@austinsrealgf@austinbutlersgirlfriend@clearbolts @dark-as-love@anni-secret-account-75@ab4eva@starcatchxr @julietamidala @obbsessivereader@gwuide@blurredcolour@the-little-red-haired-girl@meladollsims@poppet05@shrekstheloml@randomwriter888@idc123sworld@vane28282@mirandastuckinthe80s@girlblogger2002@rockerchick05@screechingstrawberrysong@simpforevery1@girlabirla@dre6ming@obetrolncocktails@fairyjanes@jensenswinchester@lo-bells @in-my-body-bag@fxntxsix@petrparkrslut@eliseinmemphis @lelifesaver @screaching-cookie@fantuhsise@areuirish @bcofl0ve@mslizziesblog@shynovelist@ssstrangersblog @harrysthecraic@hangmanswhore@jyvnho@mymamalife @melodydior

412 notes · View notes

cdragons · 11 months

Text

Headcanons for Ikaris x Persephone!Eternal Reader (AKA Sephia)

Note: Persephone!Eternal’s name is Sephia (it’s still a Reader x Ikaris au, but it’s just easier for me to give her a name). Her powers are that she can make and create any kind of plant at any location. She is neurodivergent, and hopefully these headcanons will help me decide which scenes to write out in either oneshots or drabbles. So really these are Part 1 of the many headcanons I have planned for these two.

Also, because these are Ikaris x Reader headcanons, the reader will be referred as “You”. Please be kind, also I added an "Ask" button on my blog if you have any questions!

Ikaris never really paid any attention you since he opened his eyes on the Domo; he was more attracted to Sersi’s beauty and kindness to pay any attention to you (he’s a hoe)

But he noticed that you and her would always be kept close together as the both of you would help the humans with their crops and developing their agriculture.

He noticed that you would only do as you were told before going off and doing your own thing

He never paid any attention because all this meant was that he would spend more time with Sersi

You on the other hand…you were not a fan of Ikaris (don’t worry this changes)

Not only was it completely obvious to her that he was only “helping” the humans because he wanted to get together with Sersi

But also, because he was always so rude to her best friend Kaetlyn, just because of her powers were a little “dark” and that she had different views as him and Ajak

Furthermore, he liked to act like he knew more about how to harvest and plant the crops even though YOU were the one who designed and created them

It wasn’t until he overheard a discussion between you and her when he heard you call him a “fartface who is only acting nice because he wants to get together with her”

From that day on, he was determined to get you to like him…easier than done

He thought that getting you to like would be a walk in the park, ‘twas anything but!

Many of the Eternals thought that you were very shy and quiet, but you had a very sassy and petty personality that only comes out when you were experiencing a strong emotion

So, whenever Ikaris would try to make conversation, you would just straight up ignore his ass

He would get all pissy princess mode on you, and you would explain that you had no interest entertaining someone who’s only here to flirt and not actually do a good job

From there on out, Ikaris would actually get off his high horse and actually try to help out; and he would ask you for any help because he could tell that you knew more about the crops than Sersi

You and him would actually start to eventually trust one another, even enjoying each other’s company

He would also notice that you weren’t actually comfortable around the humans

You would often be really quiet when around them, even avoiding eye contact with them when they try to talk to you

Also, he found that you zoned out…a LOT

Like Ajak would be holding a group meeting, and you would just be unblinkingly staring at a corner with a blank expression; but then Kaetlyn would lightly nudge you with her elbow, and you would start paying attention again

When he asked you if you were okay because you were acting strange in the meeting; you explained that you heard Ajak mention the word “fruit,” and that made you start thinking about the new fruit that you and Kaety talked about

That led you to somehow thinking pollination and bees and… *cue the confusion on Scottish Space Homelander’s face*

He really starts paying attention to you when he notices that you always stayed behind the Thinkers’ meetings to ask Phastos about his inventions (will write out scene if y'all want me too)

He would start to look forward in seeing you, and always try to find you in the large gatherings and feasts hosted by the humans, only to find that you would only be there for a short period of time or just not show up at all

He would also notice that you would spend a LOT of time in the wilderness, and when he asked you about it, you said that “you wanted to find the areas with the best smells”

You then starting talking a lot of which plants the humans find to make oils and perfumes and how some are really light and how some are too strong

You became curious so you would explore the areas to find the plants and sometimes you would find animals

Then you would follow the animals and then you would find yourself in different parts of the woods altogether

You told him about the time you were trying to find this specific breed of wild mint, but then a squirrel was staring at you and so you started to chase it to its nest…and then you got lost so you had to call Kaety to take you back because you lost track of time and you didn’t want to be later than Sersi

You then go on a tangent on why you liked being around Kaety so much, and one of the reasons is that she always smells REALLY GOOD to cover up the smell of death from dissecting both deviants and human corpses

But one time she forgot to wash her face mask and it started to smell really chemically, so you made her stand about 5 feet away because you have a really good sense of smell and you loved her but she smelled super gross

You started to blush really hard because you just revealed that you were a smeller despite you trying so hard to hide this fact from the rest of the group as Kingo once noticed you doing it and almost called you out on it

Granted Kaetlyn used her shadow to tackle him off a cliff before he could

But you still crouched in flustered shame at your accidental reveal

Ikaris swears he has never laughed so hard ever in his life, and decided that he liked you way better when you got super talkative than when you were insanely quiet

This was when he realized that whatever attraction he felt towards Sersi was miniscule to what he felt for you

Sersi tells him that she knew this whole time and she is literally so excited to play matchmaker

Tagging: @spacetalbot, @valeskafics, @beananacake, @its-actually-minicika, @unfinished-sen, @siempre-bucky

Please let me know if you want to be tagged! I plan to make some Druig x Hecate!Eternal Reader (Kaetlyn) headcanons too!

#ikaris x reader #marvel eternals #ikaris imagine #ikaris x oc #eternals headcanons #eternals x reader #marvel x reader #neurodivergent reader #neurodivergent headcanons #ikaris headcanons

41 notes · View notes

littleperilstories · 11 months

Text

The Prince of Thieves: Connected Far Beyond a Miracle

Mood Boards | Chapter Titles | Also on A03! | Playlist | Story Intro

Warnings: mention of jail, aftermath of traumatic events, fear of suicidal ideation/self harm (mentioned), very vague reference to a previous death wish (not explicit at all)

Previous | Masterlist | Next

✨ Feel free to navigate forward to Finale Part 1, but if you're interested, there are two bonus chapters that come between 49 and 50:

💚 Box in Your Heart (Colette and Will)

🍂 Are You Nobody, Too? (Bree and Henry)

Word count: 3562 || Approx reading time: 15 mins

Connected Far Beyond a Miracle

Teaser: “What are you doing out here?” I demand when I make my way outside. It’s freezing, the wind whistling through the bare branches and nearly skinning me alive. “Do you want someone to see you? Recognize you?”

Jamie

I nearly lose it when I look around one day and Will is nowhere to be seen, and when I ask Colette if she’s seen him, she hasn’t, and then when I ask Geoff where the fuck he is, he can’t tell me, and when I check with Colette’s giggly stepsister who always somehow seems to know what Will is up to, she doesn’t know.

“Someone please tell me he didn’t fuck off without telling anyone.” The pain in my side is actually starting to fade—some days it doesn’t even hurt at all anymore—but now that it’s more or less gone, I’ve got that familiar why-is-my-brother-like-this headache back in its usual, throbbing spot in my temple.

“He went outside.”

I blink. I didn’t even bother asking Allan. Will still avoids him like the plague.

“What do you mean, went outside?” Colette pales. “What if someone—”

“He’s by the window. In the back.”

For fuck’s sake. Doesn’t Will realize that if the wrong person spots him, he’ll have the constables crawling all over Colette’s family’s house? “Why didn’t you stop him?”

Allan is nice, and he’s good at what he does, but he doesn’t have much of a fucking backbone.

“Because I didn’t feel like getting punched in the face.”

I rest my case.

Walking is mostly easy at this point, but standing up and sitting down still send a twinge bolting through me if I do it too fast. Still. I’d rather take ten seconds of pain than see Will in chains again.

“What are you doing out here?” I demand when I make my way outside. It’s freezing, the wind whistling through the bare branches and nearly skinning me alive. “Do you want someone to see you? Recognize you?”

“It’s the back of the house, Jamie. No one’s going to see me.”

“Are you willing to take that bet?”

“Yes.”

If I didn’t think it would make him flinch away from me like I was trying to throttle him—which, to be fair, I do want to do that, some days—I’d grab his arm and drag him back into the house. “Why are you out here?”

“I’ve been inside. For…” He stops. Clenches his jaw. Glares into the stormy-grey sky. “I’m losing my mind. I needed air.”

Geoff, who followed me back here, nudges my side. His meaning is clear: Sounds like someone I know.

“Shut up,” I say to him.

Will glances at me, scowling and ready to fight.

“Not you.” I jerk my head at Geoff. “Him.”

Leaning back against the wall, crossing his arms and planting his feet like a five-year-old, Will says, “Just go back inside. I’ll be in soon.”

“You’re not even wearing a coat.”

“It’s not that cold.”

“Will, get your ass back in the house.”

“No.”

What the fuck am I supposed to do, short of dragging him back by the hair? Can’t even do that, since Colette cut it all off. “Will, please.”

“No.”

Turning to Geoff, I give him a look to say, Please help. It’s not likely he can do anything, either, but Will sometimes listens to him when he won’t listen to me. And at least Geoff can wrestle him back inside if needed.

With a shrug, though, Geoff raises his hands in the air. “No one else is around.”

Great. He’s taking Will’s side. When I look back at my brother, he still looks pissed off, but there’s a smugness to it now.

You’re acting like a child, I want to say. I hold my tongue.

“Go back inside,” he repeats. “I’m not going to do anything stupid. Or are you all still afraid to leave me alone for too long?”

Fuck. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

There was a part of me that thought that once we had Will back, everything would settle. Perhaps not exactly go back to the way it was, but at least feel closer to normal.

I could not have been more wrong.

Nothing about this has been straightforward. Me, I have pain one day and none the next. Maybe that shouldn’t be too surprising. But Will… He’s laughing and goofy one moment and ready to stab a fork through Allan’s hand an hour later. He’s fine, and then he’s lost in a forest of thoughts so murky I wonder if he will be able to find his way out of it.

Breathe, Jamie. Just breathe. In and out.

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” I say to Will when I’m calm enough to actually say something nice.

The warmth of Geoff next to me pulls away. I start counting the seconds until he reappears with a coat and scarf in hand.

“Nothing,” Will says, his eyes fixed on something in the distance. When I follow his gaze, I don’t see anything worth staring at for hours. Just the promise of snow in the clouds. A brilliant red bird flitting from branch to branch.

“You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met,” I say. “What’s wrong?”

His jaw tightens. “I wish you’d all stop reminding me of that. I know. I fucking know.”

I was not expecting that to set him off. “All right. I’m sorry. I…”

“I tried,” he says. “I tried. To lie. To protect you. To protect…her.”

My headache intensifies. I have tried so fucking hard not to say anything that would bring him back to prison. Back to those weeks of torment.

All for nothing, apparently, because I’ve gone and done exactly that. “Will, I—”

“He knew, anyway,” he says, and I’m taken aback by the anger in his voice. “Somehow he fucking knew what to look for in their old arrest records, and I’ve been trying to figure it out, but no one… No one says anything. Even you. You got arrested and you never fucking told me and he had that old record and that’s how he knew your name, and I can’t believe you never said anything, Jamie, and that happened when Ma was still alive—”

“Will—”

“—And Bree told him we were brothers, but how did he know what name to look for? He already had it by the time I gave in, when I thought he was going to kill Bree, and—and—”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I confessed to Geoff, and only Geoff—told him about the letter I sent, the promise I made to turn myself in if Will walked free. The promise I reneged upon once we had Hatchett to bargain with instead.

“I’m sorry,” I say. I was nineteen, young and foolish, the day I met Geoff, the day I was arrested, the day the constables got my name—the day that would all these years later fuck up everything for all of us. “For not telling you. I shouldn’t have kept it a secret.”

“You didn’t trust me?”

“You were fourteen,” I say. “You were a kid. I didn’t want you getting ideas.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

I know I can’t keep the rest of it from him, that if I do, I’ll be tearing apart the already shaky foundation we’ve been trying to rebuild since we got here. “Hatchett knew what to look for because he had my initials. I sent him a message.”

Will jerks away from the wall to stand up straight. “What?”

“I said I’d turn myself in if they let you out.”

I stumble backwards into the brick, pain scraping into my back, when Will reaches out and shoves me. “What the fuck did you do that for?”

Fuck. He’s got tears in his eyes, and so do I.

“Because I didn’t want to watch you get hanged, you idiot!”

“But it’s fine for me to watch you get hanged?”

“It’s not the same. IA was my idea. It was never your responsibility.” Never Will’s sin to atone for.

His hands curl into fists, and I wonder if he’s going to hit me. Maybe he should. Maybe I deserve it.

Then Will relaxes his muscles and looks away.

“I’m so tired,” he says. “I’m so tired of being mad all the time. Of the memories. Of being sad. I don’t want to remember any of it. But then I don’t want to fucking forget it, either. And that pisses me off. It pisses me off so much. I should. I should want to forget it. Why…”

I open my mouth, but he keeps going.

“I have to just be here and stay stuck inside and keep thinking and thinking and remembering. Do you think anything happened to—to him? Do you think he can’t sleep at night? Fuck that. He just went back to work and, yeah, maybe he’s still pissed off and looking for us but he doesn’t have to deal with this shit, but I do, and it never fucking ends, does it, and I just want to not be mad for even just a few minutes, but if I forgot it all then I’d forget—”

He turns away completely, and I can only tell from the movement of his arm that he’s wiping tears from his face.

“It’s not fair,” he says, but I can’t tell if the words are really meant for me.

Geoff finally reappears, clutching my coat, and Will’s too. I pull mine on and wait for my brother to face me once more. Dimly, I’m aware of Geoff squeezing my hand before he steps away again.

“It’s all right that you’re mad,” I say. “You have every right to be.”

It’s a long time before Will responds. Eventually he turns back outwards, not exactly facing me, to lean against the wall again and stare out at the nothing that’s so captivated him. I manage to get him to shrug into his coat, but he doesn’t seem to fully recognize me or even really know what he’s doing.

“Did you know that you knew her, kind of?”

The question is sudden, and with no context, I have no idea what it even means. “What?”

“Bree. Her dad was that prick you worked for. Who kicked you all out.”

The memory sends a shiver down my spine. “Silas Cooper. I noticed they had the same name.”

“She’s the girl who ran out of the house. That was her.” Will draws a deep breath. “She remembered your name. For a little bit, I was so sure she knew who you were. She didn’t though. But when he knew your name, I thought—I thought maybe she—” He stops. Shakes his head. “She swore she didn’t.”

He seems calmer now; his breath isn’t quite so quick and ragged, and his eyes look less wild.

“It’s funny,” he says. “Well, not funny. Weird. Fucked up, maybe.”

“I can’t read your mind, Will. What are you talking about?”

He picks at his nails. Avoids my gaze. “Bree. All the ways our paths crossed. More than once. She was the girl who tried to help you when she was a kid. And I was there the day Colette found her and dropped the coin. And she was…the girl from that night.” Will speaks quickly, something like guilt flashing across his face. “The snowstorm. You remember.”

“Oh. Yeah. She told me.”

“She did?”

“Yeah.”

Another long pause, and I brace myself for another abrupt subject change that he’s going to expect me to follow. Instead, he continues, “And then she got arrested right after me. And Hatchett picked on her when he had me wh…”

Even though he doesn’t finish the sentence, I understand what he’s referring to when he says, “He made her count.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And what about all of that?”

He swallows hard, and his face goes red—nothing, I suspect, to do with the biting wind. “Why did we keep meeting like that? And then how could she just leave without saying goodbye?”

God, the look on his face. We’ve both been heartbroken before, more than once. And I know this look.

“I almost get it,” he says. “If she’d stayed… You know, when she looked at me, she’d be reminded of him, right? Of Hatchett. Of jail. And I… I wouldn’t want that. Right? They hurt her, too. Not just me. So I get it. I guess.”

God, if we were still kids, if he were still little, I’d pull him into a hug whether he liked it or not. Now I can only stand there and watch him stumble over his words, trying so desperately to say what he means.

“Life kept bringing us together. Like we were supposed to meet. To know each other. You know? Like it meant something. But then she fucked off. She fucked off, and she didn’t even say goodbye.” He turns his head away. “I guess it didn’t mean anything. And I’m just a fucking idiot. Like I always have been.”

“You’re not an idiot, Will.”

“Yes, I am.”

Fuck it. He’s my brother. He’s hurting.

“You’re not,” I repeat. “You went through hell. Hell. And you’re here. Still here. You survived. That makes you strong as fuck. Not an idiot.”

He’s my brother and he’s hurting and for the first time, he doesn’t flinch away when I get close. Pull him into a hug. He stiffens, though, and for a moment I wonder if he’s going to bolt. But he relaxes after a few seconds. And he doesn’t run.

Still, though, he doesn’t say anything, and I fear he’s lost again. “Do you want the rest of the story?”

“Hmm?” It’s like he’s hearing my words from far away. Slowly, he tugs out of my grip, and I let him go. “Which story?”

“What happened after Geoff and I met. In…” I cringe. “In jail.”

“I know how that story ends.” He sounds so tired. “You’re in love and you’re going to live happily ever after.”

“Don’t be a smartass about it. You don’t know the whole story.” I watch his face for surprise, but there’s still distance there. “I only knew his name after that day, but nothing else. Didn’t know where to find him.”

I wandered around town for two weeks, looking for work, yes, but that wasn’t all I was searching for.

“It was by chance, I guess, kind of, that we met again. But I was trying my damnedest to find him.” I hovered around that hideous tavern almost every day, and in the end, I bumped into him down the street from our home.

“What the fuck?” I remember yelping. “What are you doing here?” For some reason, I felt hot. For some reason, I looked up and down the street, wondering if Ma or Will could see us. For some reason, even though my family was falling apart for the second time, I felt happy.

I tell my brother how we saw each other every day that summer. How, more than once, Geoff and I had to dodge Will and his friends spinning through the streets so he wouldn’t spot us and ask questions I knew I was not ready to answer.

I skip the details of the first time our hands brushed, or the first time his hand clasped mine. I do not mention the first time we kissed, or the first time I ran my fingers down the smooth dark skin of his bare chest—

“Jamie? Was there more, or what?”

Whoops. Maybe Will’s not the only one who’s a little lost.

“And then Ma got worse,” I say softly. These memories—in the deepest, darkest, murkiest ravine of that forest of the past—these are ones on which I don’t wish to linger. “And it just…stopped. We didn’t…” God, even remembering this is painful. “We didn’t see each other again. For years.”

Will is quiet, and his eyes are back on the sky, but I can tell he’s listening.

“And then one day my brother poached on someone else’s territory, picking pockets where he shouldn’t have been,” I say, and the corners of his mouth tip upward, “and this terrifying girl with curly hair and the biggest fucking guy I’ve ever seen were about to cut him to shreds—”

“Don’t be an ass,” he says. “She wasn’t going to cut me to—”

“Oh, yes I was.”

We both jump at the sound of Colette’s voice. She’s out here now, and Geoff, too. Snow, soft and white and gentle, is starting to fall. I watch the snowflakes sparkle against Geoff’s dark hair for precious moments before they melt, and he meets my eyes, smiling. How’d you end up on this story? he seems to ask.

“And wasn’t that big guy with her,” I say, “the same goddamn asshole who broke me out of jail years before?”

Geoff grins and looks away.

“If people are meant to find each other,” I tell Will, “then they just do.”

I can see him shivering, but my stubborn ass of a brother isn’t going to be the one to suggest going inside. “I’m glad you found each other,” he says.

“Me too.”

Geoff and Colette move in unison: he to stand next to me, and she to grab Will’s hands, which are starting to turn red from the cold. “So. Are you ready to come inside and get warm yet? Geoff made tea.”

“I suppose.”

“He supposes,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “Well, I suppose that Verie also baked a sponge cake and wants everyone to have a taste and shower her with praise.”

I swear I see Will’s eyes light up. Slightly—but it counts.

“Come on,” she says to him, and a sense of peace washes over me when Will finally agrees to go back inside, where it’s warm. Where it’s safe.

Geoff holds me back, gripping my arm with that firm yet gentle grasp when I try to follow.

“Just one,” he says. The snowflakes are still fat and lazy, drifting slowly like sugary fragments of stars. They cling to him now, no longer melting right away.

His kiss—god, his kiss. The sweetest and most perfect gift that, for a time, I thought I’d never enjoy again.

“I love you.” Words I don’t say enough. To him. To Will. To anyone.

“I love you, too.”

In the kitchen, Verity is fussing over her sponge cake, glancing over at Will through her lashes. Colette looks annoyed, and when Will’s not looking, I see her step on her sister’s foot.

“Stop making a fool of yourself,” she hisses. Verity just rolls her eyes.

Of course, Will doesn’t notice. He’s sunk his hand into his pocket, and his gaze is distant again. When I draw his attention, though, he comes back right away.

“You all right?”

He nods.

At that moment, Allan walks in, and I wince, certain that the peace I’ve just managed to chase down is going to be gone the second Will opens his mouth.

“So.” Will fixes Allan with his best tough stare, which wouldn’t cow any of us but makes the doctor shrink a little. I shoot a glance at Geoff, silently telling him to be ready to hold my brother back if needed. “Are you the reason they were hiding all the sharp stuff from me?”

Allan frowns. “What?”

“Did you…”

“Did I what?”

Will glances at me. “Did you tell them,” he says finally. “What I asked you to do.” So flat it’s barely a question. So quiet and ominous it makes me shiver.

Allan seems to catch Will’s meaning. “I didn’t breach your privacy in any way, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Impatiently, redness creeping into his face, Will says, “I don’t know what the fuck breach means.”

“I didn’t repeat any conversations we had while you were my patient. Because that would be unethical.”

For a moment, silence.

And then—

“Thanks.”

Allan blinks, nods, and mumbles an acknowledgement, and Will doesn’t say anything else.

“Why does everyone look so sad?” Verity asks. “Get yourselves to the table and enjoy my delicious, perfect cake.”

When the cake is gone from our plates and we’re all sipping tea, with Verity and Colette in quiet conversation, Geoff drawing soft circles on the back of my hand, and Allan reading a newspaper, I notice that Will is reading, too.

It isn’t a book or a newspaper in his hand, though, but a piece of paper, creased to all hell. Haphazard fold lines all over it. I don’t have to ask what it is.

As if he can feel my stare, he looks up. He must be able to read me as well as Geoff can, because he hesitates, then heaves a sigh and hands me the letter.

Will, it says, Thank you for saving my life, and for your forgiveness, even if I don’t know if I deserve either. Get well. Stay safe. And please, please, please be happy. I promise I will never forget you. Bree.

“She’ll be all right,” I tell him, clearing my throat and handing the letter back. “I’ve got a feeling.”

Though it seems like he wants to laugh, he doesn’t. “You’re probably right. She’s too fucking stubborn to die.”

“Language,” Verity admonishes from across the table, and Will grins at her.

With his breath tickling my ear, Geoff whispers, “He’ll be all right, too.”

Suddenly, my heart feels more full than it did before. “Promise?” I whisper back.

“Promise.”

Previous | Masterlist | Next

✨ Feel free to navigate forward to Finale Part 1, but if you're interested, there are two bonus chapters that come between 49 and 50:

💚 Box in Your Heart (Colette and Will)

🍂 Are You Nobody, Too? (Bree and Henry)

Stay close, can you feel the love between the two of us? / Let go, we can disappear inside the universe

If you look inside / Read between the lines / Everything is gradual / When you see the signs / The comets all collide / Everything is magical

We're interstellar hearts / Whenever we're together / Can't resist your gravity / It took a million miles to find you / Stars to fly through / Spark of perfect chemistry / This is our future / We're meant to find it / We will go further / 'Cause we're just interstellar hearts / In cosmic time / We shine

I don't understand the elements, the chemicals / But we both know we're connected far beyond a miracle / When you look inside / When you see the signs / Everything collides

I never knew that I could fall so hard, oh

Insterstellar Hearts - Awake or Sleeping

Next time on The Prince of Thieves:

Tagging: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @gala1981, @kixngiggles, @whither-wander-whump 💕

26 notes · View notes

lizard-shifter-noms · 8 months

Text

Wayward Waters Chapter 5

——————————————————————————

Hello everyone! Chapter 5!

time to explore more of the world!

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

have fun reading!

and as always Reblogs are appreciated! (Also ASK’s are open so feel free to bother me!)

AO3 Link for those that prefer the layout there;

AO3 Wayward waters

——————————————————————————

I missed home, but right now i had no idea where the fuck i was.

Only that I was on some island with a big ass eel pit that injured one of the Crewmembers of the ship I had landed on somehow.

And now I was sitting on a slope in my Giant form with a Birdlegged Maniac who was used as a pillow by a sea serpent.

In all honesty? Fuck.

The last I had seen of my friends was in the storm that had thrown me off the ship I was supposed to be on and now one of the guys that found me and said he'd help me was out of commission.

I glanced over to Jamie, who had given up trying to remove Imugi’s head by now and was just lying there.

They looked sad, but not sad sad, rather the kind where one tried to hide they were sad.

I looked around for anything helpful but the only things I saw were more rocks, some sand and a few palm trees which were barely the length of my under arm.

Palm trees hmm…

A VERY stupid idea came into my head.

I slowly stood up so as not to startle them and walked over to the nearest tree, a dingy little thing that had broken almost in half by the storm.

Wouldn't make it for long now anyway and was only holding on by a thread.

Good thing too, Robin would never forgive me if I ripped out a healthy plant.

I positioned myself so that they couldn't see and tried to get the tree as quietly as possible, which was only half successful.

“The HELL you doing over there? I swear if you do something shady I will get the paint bucket we have on board and pour it into your nostrils!”

That had to be the weirdest threat I had ever received, and I lived in the same castle as Nea.

Man, I even missed her too, how absolutely stupid.

Whatever, I put the tree in my hand so it looked like it grew out from there before turning around.

Holding the hand with the tree up so it could be easily seen.

“Look, Palm tree”

Jamie made a choking noise before starting to full on laugh, keeling back over while Imugi looked confusedly at them before slinking back into the ocean.

“Your jokes are so bad I don't even know why I'm laughing at them!”

I just shrugged.

“Maybe they're funny because they're bad? Or your sense of humor is just as bad as my jokes”

Jamie made a noncommittal noise and I sprawled out on the grass where I was.

“Yo Kitty cat, how tall are you? You're like as tall as Imugi is long”

How tall i was? Well human form was around 5’10, for the giant one i could only guess.

“Uhh dunno? Like thirty feet? I can't exactly measure myself easily like this”

I heard shuffling and turning my head to look. I saw that Jamie had taken the measuring rope which had kind of started all of this mess with Ronan.

“Well then, hold still and I can check! We already went through so much chaos to get this stupid rope that we might as well use it!”

Well, fair.

“Yeah, it would be nice knowing how tall I am exactly, Is the rope long enough for that?”

They shrugged.

“Only one way to find out, also this thing is like fifty feet or so if not i can still measure twice and use math to figure it out”

They walked up next to my head with one end of the rope, setting it down on the same height as my scalp.

“Can you use your thumb to hold this end to the ground? I think id just drag it away if i tried”

I nodded and pressed the end of the rope into the ground while Jamie walked along my side down to my knees, counting the feet as they went.

I did wonder how tall I actually was, so far I had just estimated myself to be around thirty feet but I wasn't sure if that was accurate.

Probably not.

I did my best not to move as Jamie walked along my side, both to not mess up the measuring and to not startle the Bird Legged weirdo.

“FORTY FIVE FEET!”

I sat up abruptly at Jamie's shout, seeing the sun already low in the sky.

“What? Forty five? That's fifteen more than I thought!”

Huh, then again I had never really had anything to accurately measure myself with.

“Yeah! Forty five! You must be bad at math!”

“Does math have anything to do with me misjudging my height?”

Jamie flicked the rope and started coiling it up.

“Well according to some nerds everything is math somehow, So who cares?”

Well, I was the first to admit that there was a lot I didn't know, but everything was math? Who came up with that?

“Well, what now? Are we stuck on the island? I'm sure my friends worry about me and I'd like to get to them as fast as possible! And Ronan needs an actual Medic!”

Jamie tilted their head at me, and for a painful second I was reminded of Oakley, god I missed all of them.

Especially Robin.

“Well, bringing Ronan to a doc, an actual one not whatever Imik and Akeem are doing would come first, but the doc is also back at our base and we need to go there anyway for the map n’ shit.

So i guess now that our Captain’s injured well probably go there faster anyway, so i guess you get your wish”

Harsh, but true.

“Well i did want to get home as fast as possible but not like that, i hope he'll be okay, he will be okay right?”

Jamie just shrugged and waved to follow them, which I did, slowly.

“I'm sure he'll get over it, it's not the first time he got bitten by a electric eel, just never so many, also he managed to get through a fuckton of other weird injuries, so yeah hell be fine, he don't got enough brain for it to be damaged further anyway”

So Ronan would be okay in the end, good to hear.

“Hey! So you can shift into that fuzzy thing and into a giant right? Do you have anything more portable than that? Well be faster if you're not so fucking oversized”

Well, yes, but I hadn't done so because I hadn't trusted them thus far, but if we could go faster…

I waited for a moment that Jamie was looking forward to the boat and then turned the Gem on the bracelet, shrinking down to my human size.

The next time they turned to face me I was already back in my human form and they let out a startled screeching noise that grated in my pointy ears.

“You could do that the entire time? What the fuck! You should have done that sooner!”

“Well, i didn't know you guys, and i'm less likely to be stabbed as a giant creature, also the entire thing with my second heart starting to work and i didn't know if shifting would fuck it up even more”

“...Fair point, let's get back on the ship and jumpscare Imik!”

“What? Why? And why Imik?”

“Cuz Akeem can't be scared, also it's funny seeing Imiks Webbed ears Flare up in alarm!”

So just for fun then, yeah that was okay.

“Well, as long as it's okay I don't see why not, but shouldn't we focus on getting Ronan to the Doc you mentioned?”

Their face lost the mischievous touch.

“Ugh yeah fair, let's go on board and toss Imugi the Halfter so she can tow us away from the island”

They walked up the plank to the Boat and I followed behind,

almost slipping one time as the wood was slick under my feet and the Orange tinted sky made weird shadows.

“If you fall in i will laugh”

“If I fall in, I will make sure the splash hits only you!”

As stupid as being stuck away from my friends was at least the banter with Jamie was a little funny, they were gruff sure, but not malicious.

“Come on Kitty cat! Help me toss the tow thing to Imugi!”

I followed them up to the front of the boat where a variety of stuff was bolted down or straight up Built into the ship, like the box in the front.

The Box looked to be lockable and Jamie yanked out a weird construction of rope and metal, the front part reminding me of the thing they put into the mouth of a horse to ride it.

Then they tossed the front half into the water and hooked the part still on the ship into a pair of curved metal things that were bolted to the boat itself.

So that was the thing Imugi used to tow the boat! Interesting.

“Did you know that Imugi is named that because Ronan kept her in a mug for the first two weeks of her life? Apparently she was TINY! And ‘IN MUG’ became Imugi at some point”

What? That sea monster used to fit in a mug? A bucket I could maybe believe, but a mug?

“She was that tiny? Wait, why was she kept in a mug?”

Jamie shrugged.

“Orphanage probably wouldn't have taken kindly to a sea monster in the house, he left after Imugi got to big to hide, somehow got a boat and a bunch of idiots to help him out”

“You're also one of those Idiots, you're aware right?”

They waved me off.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, to get on this ship you gotta have a few screws loose anyway, and even more so if you end up staying”

Well, at least they were self aware.

There was a sudden tug on the boat and I leaned over to see what it was.

Apparently Imugi had found the tow thingy despite the Ocean getting dark before the sky and was slowly dragging it through the water, Boat and all attached.

Jamie hopped down from the railing and walked towards the stairs, the movement of their legs reminding me of a strutting pigeon.

Yeah, I'd better never mention that, as funny as the mental image might be.

I followed them down the stairs back onto the deck.

“Do we need to steer the boat if Imugi is towing it?”

“Nah, she knows where to go, she's not stupid she’ll know that with one of us injured the best thing to do is go Home”

Well, that was relieving, I doubted Jamie could steer properly, or even if so that they would do so in a normal way.

The sound of a door opening drew my attention while Jamie walked up the mast to the crows nest again.

Turning my head around I saw that it was Akeem, who softly closed the door behind him.

He looked at me unblinkingly for a moment, could he even blink? and then carried on past me as if nothing was amiss.

He opened a hatch in the floor and pulled out an Telescope, hit the mast one time and then tossed the thing up where Jamie caught it in their claws with a single leg.

Impressive, I had to admit that.

Despite their insane shenanigans they managed to function pretty well as a team.

Once again I was made aware of my own friends not being here with a pang.

I hoped i could go home soon, they were nice yes, but i'd rather go back to Tunstead and the Castle in Kamerasca.

Akeem then turned to me and I once again wondered if the guy had to blink at all, him being completely, well, Stone faced.

“Ronan is alright for now, we will head to Kariba Island as fast as possible to get him proper treatment, then after we have brought him to a doctor we will see that we find you a way to get home”

“Thank you so much, can I help somehow? I'm not good with boats or medicine but i can move heavy stuff”

The stone man shook his head.

“We are alright for now, should we need your help i will let you know”

With that he left again and went into the boat.

Huh, thus far I haven't set a single foot into the ship itself, eh whatever.

Also Kariba Island? Hadn't heard that before.

I wondered where on the map that was and what the island itself looked like.

Eh, I'd find out soon enough.

Soo… what to do now? I was stuck on the ship with nothing to do, and I did not want to sleep just yet as i was not tired.

I did not like that, it gave my brain time to think about Home which made me miss it all the more.

I Looked up the mast to the crows nest at the top.

One could probably see pretty far from there.

If Jamie could climb it with sweater covered hands then surely i could climb it normally!

I went up to the wooden structure and tried to jump up as far as possible only to slide right back down despite my best efforts to hold on.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Came Jamie's voice from above and glancing up I could see their head looking down at me.

“I'm trying to climb! Maybe I'll get lucky and see something I know!”

As unlikely as it was, it would at least distract me from thinking too much.

“Well you're doing a shit job at trying to get up here!”

“Help me then!” “Nah, watching you struggle is funnier”

I rolled my eyes at the retort and tried again to get up, only to slide down again while I wrapped my legs around the mast and held on with my hands.

“How the fuck do you do it? And with fabric covered hands no less?!”

“Hah! I'm just used to it! Tell ya what! If you can get up here with no help I'll give you one of my shiny pebbles!”

I was about to retort that I had no use for shiny pebbles when I saw what Jamie was holding up.

A whole ass Ruby the size of a thumb, partially obscured by the sweater which still covered their hands.

Even in the weird light of the late evening it was clearly visible, especially against the blue fabric.

Well, admittedly i had no need for it seeing as i lived at the castle but damn if that wasn't enticing.

“Where did you even get that?”

“Sometimes I help Imik crack open Boxes from sunken ships! So I get to keep some of the stuff!”

Huh, true sunken ships might contain treasure but one had to get lucky to get anything good.

“Alright, I'll get up there somehow!”

I tried to scale the smooth wood again and this time managed to get a little higher than before but fell down regardless.

“One should think that a guy able to turn into a giant cat could climb better than that!”

Well, true, but the Ardua form had claws…oh wait.

Jamie also used their claws to climb! Granted their bird-like feet were already better for climbing but maybe I should use my nails instead of trying to hold on with only my hands.

Yeah, I think I figured it out.

I slipped my shoes off and put them in one of the bolted down boxes so they wouldn't get lost and then went back to scaling the mast.

This time it worked! Without shoes and using all of my nails to grip better I actually managed to climb slowly up!

“Now you look like a monkey instead of a cat! Good thinking though!”

I looked up for a moment at Jamie's dumb comments and saw I was a little over halfway up by now.

Only a little bit to go!

I went at it and was nearly to the top in no time, noticing it was nearly dark now, damn how slow was i at climbing?

Then my hand slipped.

Before I could slip more or even fall Jamie's clawed leg had gripped my upper arm.

They pulled me up on the horizontal beam and I hung there for a moment like a piece of fabric.

“Ugh”

“Ayy you made it! Congrats!

You don't have to lay there like a wet towel though!”

Ohh this was a bit higher than i had originally thought.

I clung to the wood and tried not to think what kind of injuries I'd get should I fall from up here.

I also tried to calm my breathing and erratic heartbeat.

Well, heartbeats now, at least they were in sync now.

I decided to stop looking straight down and instead looked at Jamie.

Huh, they had made the vantage point into an actual nest, sticks included.

There also was a variety of knicknacks lying around, including some valuable looking things like gems and gold.

They held out a mishmash of shiny and glittery things in a cracked wooden bowl, still covering their hands with the blue sweater.

I wondered what was up with that but decided against asking.

Not my business, and there might be a reason as to why.

“Well, ya made it! As promised you get to pick whatever you want from the shiny stuff in the bowl!”

I continued to cling to the wood with all of my limbs but still peered into the bowl that Jamie held out to me.

There was the aforementioned ruby of course, which glinted despite the sun being almost gone by now, but also a variety of other stuff, some of which were fossils?

One in particular caught my eye, It looked like a crystalized sea star about half the size of my thumb.

The crystal itself was a pretty shimmering opal with hints of green and blue as well as orange.

Well, that would be one hell of a souvenir, and Fable said he liked stars so it would be perfect.

I pointed at the crystalized sea star, still clinging to the wood to not fall off.

Instead of handing the thing to me directly Jamie stuffed it into a little bag with a long cord and put it over my head like some sort of necklace.

“Now you don't lose it!”

“Thanks? I think”

They shrugged and leaned back in the surprisingly roomy nest-like build.

“Hey?”

“Hm?”

“How the fuck do i get down?”

They sat up again and looked down to the deck.

“Uhh, i just slide down or climb down, not sure if you'll manage that though”

“I'm NOT doing that, especially not now that it's getting dark! Please tell me there is some other way down?”

They stared at me.

“Well, only other way down would be to just fall, but i think that's worse for you”

Yes, yes it was.

“Oh fuckdamnit, what do I do now?”

“Eh, im sure Akeem will think of something tomorrow, or Imik though he's better at diving”

I looked at them with a deadpan expression even if most of that was probably lost in the slowly encroaching darkness.

“And what am I supposed to do now? I don't think I can cling the entire night to this piece of wood!”

“Uh, right, gimme a minute to make some space”

They haphazardly shoved anything pointy into one corner of the nest and then pulled me into it.

Despite being only four feet four at most they were pretty strong i had to admit that.

No wonder Imik asked for help cracking open old boxes.

I just flopped face first into it right where I was, shoving a handful of seashells away from where my head rested.

“I think this was a stupid idea, but quite frankly i don't care right now”

“You're laying there like a wet cat, have some dignity Kitty cat”

I just rolled my eyes at them and pulled my legs into the nest as well.

“Whatever, after climbing im too tired to care, you can wake me tomorrow you overgrown chicken”

With that i faced down again and used my crossed arms as a pillow.

It was only a minute later that I felt a clawed foot on my back, and then another.

Jamie settled on top of my back with what sounded like a very quiet chirp.

I was pretty sure for an onlooker they looked like a broody hen right now.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“You're warmer than the floor”

“Then get blankets or something, im not a fucking matress”

“You are now!”

With that they settled where they were and I could literally feel them poofing up like a little bird.

I gave up with a sigh, it wasn't worth the energy, Besides, it wasn't hurting me.

“Whatever, but if you fall of because i move its your own fault”

“Yeah yeah, i've fallen down before, its no that bad aside from the sprained toe i had once”

I just grumbled something into the floor.

“Hey, you good?”

“...i miss my friends, the last they saw of me was when i went overboard”

“Oh… well we are headed to get a map or whatever, or maybe there's a faster ship that will take you onboard?”

I just grumbled something into the floor, suddenly feeling worse than ever about being so far away.

“Hrmmmm”

I buried my face in the sticks so Jamie wouldn't see the tears in my eyes as I thought about what my friends could be doing right now.

Were they searching for me? Or did they already think I was dead?

Robin would surely push for a search but Rikaad, well, he usually only thought logically, and searching for me when I might be dead and he had something else to do wasn't logical.

He still had to stop the deserter fleet from Maringand and try to deal with the pirates.

And Arthur had no idea what even happened, he probably thought we were all on the boat doing stupid stuff.

My hands gripped one of the surrounding sticks and squeezed it till it broke.

As I buried my face even deeper into the sticks, which weren't as uncomfortable as expected, I felt Jamie move off of me.

They did not say anything but I could sense them right next to me.

Suddenly there was the sensation of a hand raking through my hair.

The hand was coarse, almost scaly and the fingers seemed to be tipped with claws.

Jamie's hand? No wonder they hid them in the sweater, people aren't nice to anything they deemed dangerous, and claws definitely counted as that.

I didn't move, or even make any attempt to glance at their hands to see what they looked like exactly.

The only thing I did notice was the number of fingers, five.

So definitely not like Oakley.

I kept lying there unmoving as Jamie detangled my messy hair somewhat, picking out salt and other stuff found in the sea that had gotten stuck there as I fell into the water in the storm.

The word preening popped into my head for a second.

As much as I did not want to admit it, the sensation of claws gently scratching at my scalp was strangely soothing.

I maneuvered my arms to be around my head so I could hide my face even better.

Just as Jamie didn't want me to see their hands, I didn't want them to see the silent tears running down my face.

God, I missed my friends, even Nea.

Despite having a person next to me who I was on good terms with, I had never felt lonelier.

Maybe because I finally knew what it was like to have friends and didn't want to lose that.

I tucked the arm with the bracelet under me and shielded my face with the other.

I stayed like that and let Jamie mess with my hair until I fell asleep, not once giving in to the temptation of looking at their hands as curious as I might have been.

I was who knew when later awoken to shortness of breath and a slap to the face.

I sat up abruptly, panting and gasping for air.

I looked around frantically, not recognizing anything as my sight refused to focus, leaving everything blurry while hyperventilating.

I gripped at my chest, feeling both of my hearts beat wildly and making the thumping sound echo in my ears.

Then I got a second slap to the face and my eyes finally focused somewhat.

“Whh?”

“Man you almost fell off! Are you okay?”

I looked at the person talking to me, noticing frizzy hair and a blue sweater.

“I- uh, Jamie?”

“Yeah! Who else could get up here?”

My brain was working too much and too little at the same time and I felt nauseous.

“Dude calm down, i don't want to slap you a third time”

I rolled over and dry heaved, actually glad to not need to eat right now.

“Do I need to get Imik or Akeem?”

I shook my head, still feeling awful.

There was no mistaking the way my limbs shook and my mind reeled with Images id rather not remember.

“No… im- im fine, just give me… some- some time okay?”

While I never had one prior it didn't take a genius to figure out I just had a panic attack, and even now my hearts were beating like mad in my chest and I felt weak, trying to steady my breathing.

“You don't look fine, what the fuck happened?”

I could sense them poofing up next to me while I leaned my head on the rim of the nest.

I closed my eyes tightly to try and banish the Images of corpses on a bloody field and an Injured Fable.

When that didn't work I opened them as looking at the ground way below me was better than those images.

“Hah… Panic attack, when i got tossed overboard i left the medicine from Oakley in my cabin”

“PANIC ATTACK? You don't think mentioning something like that beforehand would be a good idea? You would have fallen off hadn't I grabbed you!”

I groaned and tried to calm my shaking limbs and racing hearts.

“I never- never had one before! Didn't think i- id get one”

Suddenly a hand shoved my chest down again and a pillow was shoved under my head.

“Lay down dumbass, i'm going to get Imik”

“Wh-?”

Before I could say anything they had started climbing down already.

So instead I let my head sink onto the pillow and tried to calm down, repeating the breathing exercises I had shown Robin so long ago.

Breath in four seconds.

Hold for seven.

Then out for eight.

God, all of this sucked.

At least without needing to eat, I didn't have the problem of throwing up.

The random dry heaving wasn't any more pleasant though.

I rolled onto my back to the best of my ability and just stared at the blue sky, my vision still a little blurry.

I decided to lay there with shaky limbs until Jamie came back.

I felt absolutely awful, I never wanted this again, but I had no hopes of this being a one time thing.

I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes in an attempt to make the flashes of Images stop, not keen on reliving the moment Oakley Burned like a dry leaf.

Or the time Fable fell into the river after he got shot in the foot.

I rolled to my side and tucked my knees to my torso, dry heaving again which caused uncomfortable muscle spasms in my abdomen.

My two hearts were still beating wildly, but at least they were in sync now.

For the moment I just lay there trying not to get another panic attack and waiting for Jamie or whoever else to help me get off this stupid mast.

While I lay there I could hear the sound of metal thunking against wood and I closed my eyes tightly as it happened again, curling up and putting my hands over my ears as the sound came again, being horribly reminded of the sound the Arrows had made when they hit flesh.

Luckily the sound stopped as I was about to start hyperventilating again, but I still couldn't bring myself to move, staying where I was, curled up and with shaky limbs.

I was vaguely aware of Jamie being back and Imik also somehow being up here.

Akeem was probably too heavy.

I tried to look at them through my unfocused eyes but only saw blurry shapes.

“Its okay, calm down”

I heard one of them speak but through the white noise in my ear I could not tell who it was.

I flinched away when I felt a hand touching me.

“AKEEM! TOSS ME THE STUFF!”

Stuff? What stuff?

The blurry shapes moved and I could make out one of them leaving my line of, very blurry, sight.

Judging by the amount of yellow I could make out it was Imik.

He held a stick or something under my face before breaking it in half.

I smelled something weird, like an overly sweet plant but with a slight hint of rotten leaves.

It made my head swim and my thoughts blur together into a deep thrum.

My limbs feel heavy as well and I lost whatever little focus I had in favor of the fogginess.

Shortly after that my entire vision went black and I was back to being unconscious.

NEXT / PREVIOUS / OVERSIGHT

#sstc #lizards writing #vore story #giant/tiny #Sea of Barmea #mentions of panic attack #mentions of injury #mentions of death #ocean #Ship #sea serpent #sea monster

9 notes · View notes

fereldanwench · 1 year

Note

🩺, 💴, 👁️

Oohhhh, well, this is a fun set. (I hate that I don't have :bongocat: emoji on Tumblr, but pretend like there's :bongocat: here.)

🩺- Viktor Vektor

I have unfortunately completely dropped the ball on keeping up with this little story (although I have like 80% of the next chapter finished, I just need to remember how to make the words go), but Valerie and Vik actually sort of dated in the months before the heist. So a core memory? How about a snippet of the very rough draft for the fight that ends it. Context: Valerie was dealing with the anniversary of mom's death, which is a Complicated™ thing even 14 years after it happened, and Viktor just does not know how to handle things he can't immediately fix himself. (Also, he has intimacy issues and if Valerie isn't getting emotional support, she needs to at least be getting off. Particularly at this point in her life. (Sorry, Vik, lmao.))

“I’m just not good at the feelings stuff.” He forced a conciliatory smile. “That’s more Misty’s department.” “Maybe I should go date her instead.” Valerie dropped her arms. “You know if you just wanted a fuck buddy, you could have said so instead of pretending like you actually give a shit.” “Now wait a damn minute. I haven’t even tried to get you into bed.” “Right, fair point, actually. I’m practically throwing myself at you and you say just want to take it slow? So no sex, but I also can’t talk to you when I’m having a shit day–What are we even doing?” “Getting to know each other?” Valerie scoffed. “You won’t open up about anything other than boxing and beer, and when I try to let you in, I get stonewalled with ‘I’m not good with feelings.’ How exactly are we getting to know each other?” Her brow softened, and she looked at him with something worse than anger: pity. “Maybe this was a mistake,” she said quietly. Viktor felt his heart sink into his stomach. “You know, Jackie said this was your thing. You just bolt as soon as you realize someone isn't as perfect as you think you are.” Viktor had never seen her go so cold before. He closed his eyes. Fuck. “Nice. That’s very nice.” She grabbed her jacket and walked in slow, measured steps to the door. “Guess you should have listened to him then.” “Valerie, wait, it’s one in the morning. Don’t leave like this.” “Good night, Viktor.”

💴- Hanako Arasaka

It's kind of a cop-out answer because DUH but also I just haven't really explored much of Valerie's relationship to the Arasaka family because I am very intimidated by getting their characterization right: but I mean, helping Goro essentially abduct her and then sitting across from Hanako fucking Arasaka in that derelict apartment for 5 minutes before a bunch of 'Saka elites charge in is gonna stay with Valerie for a loooong time.

👁️ - Sandayu Oda

Kicking that man's ass all over that Japantown warehouse thingy during the parade. Sorry, Sandayu. SORRY, GORO. I'M KIDDING. WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE jfc

Similarly to Hanako, I've yet to actually really flesh out the details for the kind of relationship Valerie has with Oda so the canon events are what stick out to me the most. And I think those memories tend to actually revolve more around Goro than Oda, like remembering how Goro made it a point to stand between Oda and Valerie when they first met and how he begged for her to not kill Oda.

But I think they become friends eventually, and to that end, Oda showing his support to both Goro and Valerie when they go to find Yorinobu probably plants the seed for that friendship to start growing.

[cyberpunk 2077 core meme-ory game!]

#oc: valerie v powell #c: viktor vektor #c: hanako arasaka #c: sandayu oda #g: cyberpunk 2077 #t: wench replies #thank youuuuu my love #oc snippets

12 notes · View notes

pbandjesse · 10 months

Text

Today was not my best day. I tried really hard to not let other people's emotions and things that were outside of my control make me upset but they still did. And I had kind of a really bad emotional day and I'm shocked that I didn't just go home. I am happy to be in my hammock but I don't know if tomorrow will be better. I hope it will be.

And it wasn't all bad. I slept pretty well last night. My alarm was set for 8:00 and I woke up a little before and I was like oh I will get up when I hear a flag but then they didn't do flag I'm very confused about what traditions were keeping which ones were not this year because we also don't do grace anymore and I'm really confused about that. So I don't know what's up.

So I just laid in bed for a few extra minutes and then I would get up and I feel kind of gross for some reason. I watched my face and cleaned myself with best I could but I just felt kind of sticky. I don't know. I liked my outfit and I felt pretty cute. And I was determined like I said to have a nice day. It took me a few extra minutes to get ready and then I was like I'm going to take a walk. And on my walk I found blite beach afids. They were pretty cool to see honestly! But I was worried that they were maybe a species that would eat the tree. So I went to check with the office and after we googled it it seems like it would be okay and. I also handed in my impossible task paperwork and everyone was just like "alright close enough". And it seems like everyone else is just kind of half-assing so I don't feel as bad but I'm still annoyed that I was giving that task so late in the game.

I would go for a little walk after chatting with Chris for a while. And decided to try to find some more mushrooms to take pictures of. And I would find a few. I also ate some berries on my walk over to the lodge because I thought I could get a new box of milk but they did not have any. Instead I just took some butter for safe keeping. And walks down to the nature Lodge to say hello to Celia.

She was feeding the animals and I chatted with her for a few minutes and then I went over to homestead to pet the goats. And then back up to arts and crafts where I found a couple very nice red mushrooms. And I got to work fixing the hammock. And so far it's held all day. I went over it with a zigs stitch, so I have high hopes that it will hold for a while. Even though I'm still going to continue to badger stockade to buy me a new one even though I don't actually care. I just think it's funny.

I got all set up for the day and soon Tatiana was here and Annabelle came over to ask for some more yarn and I told her how nice her plants were growing because despite everything I am still trying to be friends because I can't help myself. And sue me and Tatiana were just waiting for our group.

Both of our morning groups were really nice. No problem. Everyone spoons are coming out really good and we did lose a few more markers through explosions. But I'm having a good time watching them make stuff and it's just been fun. But I started getting a really bad stomach ache again. It was different this time but still very uncomfortable. And so I was very much looking forward to much. I had had an uvert earlier but hadn't had much to eat yet today.

And lunch was a disaster. I had an absolute meltdown because I was so furious. They made us wait and did not have an answer if the vegetarian option was ready but it was it was in the warmer. So we waited for 15 minutes for no reason. And then it ended up just being carrots and I think zucchini and vegetarian chicken. Which is essentially what we had yesterday that I did not want to eat. And I took it and I was upset that I was going to make it work. But then I wouldn't be Tyler to tell him that I was upset and another counselor may comment about how it was better what they were having and what they were having was mac and cheese with hamburger meat mixed in. And I just became so furious that he would say that when I literally just have carrots a few cubes of zucchini and dry vegetarian chicken that I threw the whole plate away and stormed out of the dining hall and I had to literally keep myself from slamming the door behind me. And I don't know how great of a job I did because I see her TV stopped me outside to ask if I was okay because I was visibly angry. Which was very embarrassing.

But I told her I was okay. She tried to give me snacks when I told her it was food that was upsetting me and I just said no it's okay I'm going to go get something from the art building and I tried my best to calm down because I was on the verge of freaking out.

I hate how much food gives me anxiety. And I hate that when I bring my complaints and concerns to the office they want me to give them solutions but that's not my job I am not the chef. Im not creating menus. And like I wouldn't mind coming up with ideas except they just want to put the vegan vegetarian the gluten-free and the allergy options altogether! And I get that that's easier but it's also not a good idea! Because then we all just get the most boring option! There has to be something better we can do.

So I went up to the art building and I told Tatiana how angry I was and I grabbed my box of stuffing because I didn't want to eat the other mac and cheese and I went to the office to make dinner microwave. And I total FC now upset I was and that I hated that I had to keep coming to her with complaints because I know how busy she is but the food is just upset of me so much. And I would calm down but it took most of my lunch break because I was just so upset. And my stuffing was fine and smelled good but most of the herbs and stuff didn't come out of the box and so it was just kind of boring wet bread. And it wasn't even the right color. It was way too light. But at least it was a carved because I just needed something because I was so shaky and upset. I think if I hadn't been so shaky and woozy that I wouldn't have gotten as upset but I was still mentally so angry.

I texted James and we decided we would start coming up with an idea list for food. And ways that they can be vegetarian and on vegetarian. That doesn't deal with the other issues but it's something. And like I get it it's hard. And I don't really like eating fake meat so it's more difficult to explain what I eat to people but I don't want to just eat plates of stewed and boiled vegetables.

Tony came and sat with me at the office porch while I told them how upset I was and I think it helped just a little bit to talk to someone. And I stayed down there as long as I could and when I did finally process some of the food that I ate I wasn't as upset when Chris came out to ask if they could buy stuff to keep in the little fridge for me. But I told him But that wasn't fair. And I was not the only one having to eat the terrible vegetarian food. It's just very frustrating that because I am the quickest to get upset about it I'm having to be annoying all the time. I'm trying my best not to make it everyone else's problem but man doesn't feel like I am.

The afternoon would be better though. I would calm down and I would feel more like myself. Despite my stomach hurting and feeling a little gross. My groups were very sweet and I got to work on my knitting and during my half hour break I just sat quietly. The group that I had right after lunch was younger and they were very cute but they're painting was too thick and so they were struggling with finishing and so then they were staying later but I didn't realize that one of the kids came back to finish with Tatiana and so then Chris came out together first aid kit for me because I had two and then I was embarrassed because I was in my hair and I didn't realize that they were still kids in a group out front. But I don't think he cared. I was just trying to enjoy my little break before the older girls came.

The older girls would be so good. They were really into the stamping and they need me to bracelets and they didn't really care about me at all until the end when I was showing them my wedding pictures but mostly it was great and I was enjoying the counselor's company and one of the children was very funny and made a couple different keychains. I'm almost out of the cell phone charm attachment but I think that's okay. I think everyone else will just enjoy making a little charm. And we can figure out something with string probably.

Tatiana worked on cleaning up the building during our last program. She swept everything and I really appreciate that and we tried to tidy up so that it would be ready for the accreditation people coming tomorrow. I don't know if they'll come up here but I want to be prepared. So I reminded her to wear a camp shirt and we tried to just make it look nice in here. I wish it was a little more organized but there's only so much I can do and I don't have the containers that would like. It's all good but I think at some point in the next month I'm going to work on reorganizing again because I want to be able to pack things away in a more orderly fashion for the fall. So that next year I do not have to be as stressed out.

I hope I get another helper. I don't know if I will be able to make that happen but I'm going to ask kira and I think if I can have a CIT towards the end of the summer if that is possible you will see but fingers crossed.

The counselor said that the group had to leave at 4:00 and that led to a big upset because then I did not get to give the kids a warning that they were going to only have 10 minutes left so the four kids that were still working with absolutely freaked out and then one had a total crying meltdown because she was not finished. And I gave some suggestions of you can take the yarn to go home and glue it and she's like we don't own any glue and I said that's very hard to believe. But after she would not stop crying I said we would keep her peace and we would finish it for her and tomorrow she can come and get it. And that at least made her stop crying enough but they could go. And we will get it done. I feel bad that we got interrupted like that. Once the kids were gone me and Tatiana finished cleaning up and I went to go swim because I was not feeling good. I just needed to be in the water.

And it helped a lot. I got changed once I got down there and there were too many kids in the bathroom again but it was nice to get in the water even if it wasn't as hot today. I talked to the kids and some counselors. Couple of them came over to ask about metal casting and when we can do that again. And I checked with Elizabeth apparently and it was coming tomorrow so I should be able to do more this week which I'm excited about. And then once the kids free swim was over it got quieter for a while. I hung out in the cove and just enjoyed sitting by myself. My stomach was still hurting real bad though and I was very upset about that but I chalked get up that I had not had my afternoon snack and lunch had been so bad and just a lot of factors. Everything would be okay.

Once pool canoes started I did some little laps back and forth until I was too tired and then I floated for a little while. But then I decided once a child told me that when he got in the canoe he was going to aim at me then I was time for me to get out of the water.

I let Max know that I was going to take a shower so that he was not startled if he came in to start cleaning again. And I felt a lot better after I was clean and lotioned.

But I basically made up my mind that after I got everything put away up at the art building I was going to take my laptop and go sit at the lodge and work on my lesson plans for the National guard and if dinner was terrible I would go get Chipotle.

I would sit down at the lodge for a while and talk to CJ. And we brainstormed about a couple camp problems. And she got the Wi-Fi password for me because my laptop had forgotten it. And I was able to finish about half. I would move from outside to inside once the kids started showing up for dinner but then dinner was very late. And while I did appreciate that they were having chicken and biscuits and they had vegetarian chicken to go with the biscuits I was not interested. I did get a biscuit and a jam. And once I realized that the green beans had onions in it and I was positive in my choice and I headed out.

I went upstairs and I dropped off some stuff and got my car. I drove down to the office just to let Alexa know that I would be back in about an hour and then I drove to Hunt valley.

Was fine. I only ate part of it. I think I was just still very upset. But also the people in the Chipotle were being terrible. In other words. They were lovely. But everyone that had ordered online because everything was backed up and they had obviously had a huge rush because there were so many empty things. And people were just being so mean for no reason. Like I get it but also stop. I was a little disappointed that they had no sour cream but I would live. And I got my food and I went and ate in the car.

But like I said I only a little bit of it. I got like 10 bites in and it just tasted too salty and I decided I would save it for tomorrow.

I walked over to the Marshalls to see if I could find anything on my list. Because I'm out of a few things. I was able to get a leaving conditioner which can be pretty happy and it was a brand I already like. And I've got some candy and some hair ties. And the cashier was really nice. I enjoyed working on it for a while but I know that I was in there a little bit longer than I actually need to do. And then I went back to the car. I found a bird keychain who is so cute. I would have to fix the keychain part but the plushie was so sweet and just the most adorable little bird.

But nothing seemed interesting to me. I did get two apples but I can have a peanut butter and a couple fruit snacks and more lemonade powder. And a bag of chips. Just stuff that I can feel like not as weird. Things I would eat at home. And then I came back to camp.

I decided on the drive back that I would get a fun little bit. And I stop at Royal farms to get a milkshake. And it was great. My stomach continued to bother me but I was very happy with my milkshake and that made me feel so much better.

when I got back to camp I said hello to people as they were walking to the different areas. The camp program tonight would be a movie so it wouldn't start until after dark and so people have lots of cabin time which I'm sure was very and when I got back up here I am CIT laying on my picnic table and I told him he's more than welcome to wear my hammocks. And he said he wasn't sure so he didn't want to do it if I wasn't here. I was like no please still and he apparently also had a very hard day and was very upset. So I was able to get him a little bit of a reprieve.

I would fix the buttons on my sleep shirt because two of them had broken. And I fixed the keychain on the little bird. I put some other stuff away and tidied up. I did not make any more tote bags like I said but maybe tomorrow. I'm not back concerned about it it was just a thought if I had anytime. I mostly just wanted to rest and enjoy my milkshake and you know what that's what I did.

Charlotte came up at one point to figure out where the plug would work for the movie. And I showed her which one works consistently. She told me that that was the one that they used last week when the power went out in the middle of the movie but I find that hard to believe because that one's never given me any problems but I do trust her so who knows. At least the movie worked all night.

I don't know what movie it was but I think it might have been happy feet because after the movie the boys who were walking past the window were saying / chanting happy meat. And that is why I have guessed. I had been laying here for a while and brush my teeth and it was just kind of poking around on the internet. But I just heard the cord they had plugged the projector and get tug on so I went over to unplug it so it wouldn't get broken and just had a little chat with Charlotte and Kieran I know I am ready to go to sleep.

I had a nosebleed and that was very discouraging and everything smells a little like blood now so I'm going to wash my hands again and then I'm going to try to sleep.

Tomorrow the people from the camp accreditation board are coming. I hope if they come up here I dazzle them. And I hope that everything goes well because you can feel the tension of how nervous everyone is. I hope you all have a great night and that tomorrow is better. I know at least my lunch will be because I put the rest of the Chipotle in the fridge in the office. Fingers crossed that it is a better day. Good night everybody. Until next time

4 notes · View notes

dmbakura · 1 year

Text

i beat sonic frontiers and i have many thoughts so imma just compile them here. overall im really happy with the game and i’d love see sega build off of this going forward. spoilers ofc

the good:

-open world (or ‘open zone’ as they called it) works surprisingly well for sonic. i hate open world games so the fact i like what they did here certainly means they got something right lmao

-sonic controls really well. it’s not perfect and i wish they’d refine some physics but i was so worried about this game because of the early footage making it look automated and stiff. im really happy to say it didnt feel like that at all. blasting through the islands and stringing together rails and platforming and just doing sonic stuff feels amazing and like it justifies the space being used. this and elden ring are both unironically amazing examples of how to do open world well.

-the combat and expanding sonic’s moveset was long overdue honestly. there’s only so much you can accomplish with homing attacks. the cyloop and various other attacks added were fun additions even if overall it’s quite simplistic (definitely no devil may cry lol). im not sure how other people like this change? i found it snappy and satisfying but ive seen some say it slows the game down for them? good thing about it is you can automate it if you dont want to deal with it at all.

-the story is actually engaging and taking itself seriously. it also expands on established series lore (so many callbacks to adventure 1) and it’s very nice to see. the plot isnt all that unique or original but it’s been so long since it felt like the game’s were trying to tell a story that wasn’t some bullshit meta nonsense or complete half assed shit like forces.

-the characters are the narrative highlight, same as above, they’re written like actual people and not mouthpieces for stupid jokes. it made me remember why i like these characters. the new addition, sage, was also handled well i think, even though she’s pretty annoyingly vague at the start. she has good development and her relationship with eggman is pretty heartwarming.

-the BOSSES are the definite highlight of the game. the fourth titan and final boss is an interesting, though kind of underwhelming fight, but the other 3 are absolute PEAK. holy shit. best bosses sonic has ever had for sure

-banger music. see above, the bosses have the best tracks in the game but i also found myself really enjoying the overworld themes and cyberspace tracks. sonic games usually have amazing osts and this one is no exception.

-the last island’s cyberspace stages were very solid and i enjoyed them

neutral:

-i can take or leave the baby mode puzzles scattered around tbh. some of the puzzles were satisfying to do but others were just like... walk over and tap a button. not obtrusive but also not really engaging

-i actually did end up liking the overworlds despite initially thinking they looked like awful generic botw inspired crap, but i still think i’d like to see more stylized worlds that are characteristic of sonic going forward. it might have made sense in this game given the lore of the koco/ancients and how desolate and isolated they are but yeah, they’re not the most visually appealing at times- especially the third island which is quite barren for large stretches of it. so i guess this is more a future note?

the bad:

-the cyberspace stages. like i said above, i felt the last island ones were the strongest, but most are just kind of... there. they use themes and aesthetics pulled from green hill, chem plant and sky sanct (as well as an ambiguous city stage) and this is the one area of the game that made it obvious to me sega doesnt want to move on completely. i would have preferred they make new original stages but if they HAVE to use past ones, wouldnt it make sense to use adventure stages or something, given the story relevance? man im just so sick of green hill lmao.

-on top of this, the physics in these stages are pretty bad. so many times ive just blasted off the side for no reason. it feels like these were slapped in last minute or something, like they’re not compatible with the engine. they break up the gameplay pretty awkwardly and i found myself leaving them until i absolutely had to do them

-there’s unfortunately a lot of polish missing from the animations. it’s serviceable and definitely not the worst sonic has had but i noticed quite a lot of snapping/popping. even some of the cutscenes look dull in the character animation

-polish missing from the game performance as well. most egregious were the various pop-ins that people have been pointing out from the very first gameplay footage. it’s pretty ugly sometimes and can make navigation a little awkward. the game functions perfectly fine but i really hope they can get more people/time to add finishing touches like this in their next game. i didn’t get frame drops or anything, but it still didn’t feel quite optimized. it would be really nice to have a sonic game that you can say is all around polished and amazing for once

SO YEAH it’s got jank. it’s a bit experimental and weird. but it also does so much right and its flaws didnt take away from the fact i was having so much fun while playing it. i was immersed, i wanted to see where the story went, i loved how sonic controlled. i loved that there was a clear direction for this game and that it actually felt like it was trying to be something. im just so happy that for the first time in what. 10 years? i came away from a sonic game feeling satisfied and optimistic about where they can go from here ^w^

#what a ride #shit i wrote a novel oooooops

9 notes · View notes

mypoisonedvine · 3 years

Text

𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭-𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 || helmut zemo, bucky barnes and sam wilson x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : your sugar daddy boyfriend is finally out of prison and he brought a few friends to show you off to.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : just over 4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : smut (foursome/group sex, oral m receiving, spitroast; sliiiight dubcon???), established zemo x reader, sugar daddy relationship, ‘sir’ kink, ‘daddy’ kink, pussy spanking, one regular spank, orgasm control, overstimulation, creampie, a bit of cockwarming, exhibitionism, possessiveness (kinda? but also not at all lmao it’s hard to explain), a bit of degradation but plenty of praise as well, subtle cuckolding but without the usual power dynamics there, shitty reconstructed “sokovian” (I wrote it in the latin alphabet but the cyrillic and translations are at the end), unexpected and unnecessary fluff, very subtle angst (basically all in a flashback anyways)

You were needlessly anxious as you waited for him to arrive. It had been your own idea to wait in the jet, and yet you spent every other second glancing out the tiny window, desperate for a glance of the man you missed so dearly.

If someone had told you all those years ago, when this arrangement first began, how easily he would have you wrapped around his finger… you couldn’t have believed them. It’s just about the money, you would’ve told them, but you would’ve been impossibly wrong.

For a lot of women in this sort of situation, it really was just about the money; likewise, for a lot of men in his situation, it was just about the sex. But the two of you had something entirely unique, nearly indescribable in fact, that very few could ever understand. In the beginning it became clear to you that he was more in need of a companion than a lover or girlfriend, specifically. He was still grieving his wife, still devoted to her completely, but lonely right to his core… angry, even, at the prospect of a life without his family. You were a shoulder to cry on, first and foremost.

You thought maybe he enjoyed spending money on you because it was his way to protect you, in a way he felt he had failed to protect his family before.

And it was you that fell for him first, for his passion and his kindness before his riches or looks. Just when you feared that he’d only ever see you as a status symbol or dress-up doll, he returned your affections in spite of his guilt at first and the two of you were inseparable ever since.

Except, of course, when you were separated, and he was imprisoned, and you were left on your own again. Not that spending his money wasn’t fun or anything, but his loneliness was more sympathetic with each night you spent in that massive bed by yourself, wanting just to feel the warmth of him beside you again.

So, it should be understandable why you were so on edge in anticipation of his arrival. Your painted fingernails toyed with the hem of the dress you remembered he liked on you most— the silk one that barely covered your legs and was only held up by absurdly thin straps crossing at your back.

The night he bought it for you was clear in your mind like it was only yesterday; his voice in your ear telling you how he couldn’t resist taking such a thoughtful, intelligent woman like yourself and dressing you up like a mindless drolja… or ‘slut’ as it might be said in English. Just remembering the way he said things like that sent a shiver down your spine as strong as really hearing it, your thighs clenching together on top of the plush leather seat.

Just as you thought you might go crazy waiting for him, you saw the car pull up— your Helmut at the wheel and his two associates in tow— and your heart soared.

Longer than all the years apart combined was the minute you spent waiting to descend the jet’s staircase, hoping to meet him on the taxiway at the exact right moment. You made sure the jewelry around your wrists and neck was laying just right before finally making your appearance.

The way he looked up at you as you started to walk down towards him… it wasn’t so different from the way he’d looked at you through the glass for the past few years, really, but it felt different. He certainly looked different to you, without the prisoner’s uniform and looking rather imposing with that massive coat instead.

You were careful to still walk slowly, since you were wearing stilettos and all, even when you wanted more than anything to run to him and jump into his arms. Instead, you came face to face with him, loving that confident smirk which never seemed to leave his expression, and slipped your arms around his fur-adorned neck.

“Dobrodošla nazad, ljubavi,” you hummed, pressing your lips to his and almost letting out a squeal of surprise when he immediately slipped his tongue into your mouth, kissing you aggressively as his gloved hands gripped you at the waist.

He was rarely so bold, but then again he had been alone in prison for so long with only your words to try to satisfy him. As much as you cherished being in his arms again, you also got the impression that this wasn’t just about making up for lost time— if that were true, he would’ve skipped the kiss entirely and taken you in the back of his car the moment he saw you. No, this was a show of dominance, and not only for your benefit; that was clear when one of the men with him cleared his throat loudly and Helmut still didn’t stop.

But that was very much like him: he was never finished with you until he was satisfied, and not a moment sooner. His power over you was so effortless because you didn’t mind at all being his plaything… so much so that it was you leaning in for more when he pulled back, making him laugh softly.

“Did you miss me, lutka?” he purred, and you nodded as you bit your lip slightly.

“Always, Helmut,” you nodded, finally taking a moment to look away from him and at the visibly uncomfortable men at his side. “I heard you freed him,” you said to the man you knew to be James Barnes, “thank you.”

“I’m still not over that,” the other— Sam, as you’d heard— added with a scoff.

“Come on, darling, let’s board the jet and we can talk there,” Helmut suggested, and you nodded as you turned to let them follow.

Of course, you couldn’t be totally sure, but you were pretty confident you could feel three pairs of eyes on your ass as you climbed the stairs. Honestly, with how short the dress was, there was a risk of your thong being exposed as well, exactly the sort of almost-subtle teasing your Baron loved the most.

Once inside, Helmut showed James and Sam to their seats, and took his own as he instantly pulled you into his lap. You caught the other two men glancing to the empty fourth seat, knowing there was plenty of room for you two to stay apart, but could they really blame you after how long you’d been alone?

Throughout the takeoff, one of his strong hands rested comfortably on your crossed legs as the other held his glass of champagne, and Sam’s gaze was attached to the way his thumb gently stroked your thigh while James seemed to be doing his best to look literally anywhere else.

“I noticed you haven’t introduced us to your… friend…” Sam trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Oh, yes,” Helmut chuckled as if he actually forgot, “this is the woman who has been managing my estate in my unfortunate absence.”

“You’re trying to tell us this is your accountant?” James grumbled.

“She’s also my lover,” Helmut relented.

“Obviously,” Sam replied, unamused.

“She’s beautiful, no?” Helmut prompted as he ran his fingertips higher up your thigh, only glancing at the other men as he focused mainly on nuzzling against your neck.

“Yeah, the finest money can buy,” Sam quipped, earning a cold glare from you and your man.

“Are you with me for my money, draga?” Helmut asked you quietly as he planted a gentle kiss to the spot right where your neck met your shoulder. You smiled and shook your head, staring right at Sam’s nervous expression.

“No, sir,” you answered aloud, and the title clearly made both of the other men uncomfortable… if, perhaps, in different ways.

“Uncross your legs,” he demanded, though his tone was still soft, and you obeyed right away as he started to lightly move his touch between your thighs.

James began adjusting in his seat and never really stopped, tugging at his jeans in an obvious attempt to conceal the growing bulge between his legs, but you only laughed at his clear embarrassment.

“See how respectful she is?” he cooed his praise, addressing the other men but keeping his eyes on you. “I know exactly the words to make her obey to my every whim… James, you and her share that quality.”

The man sneered as you suppressed a giggle, squirming in Helmut’s lap impatiently.

“She’s loyal, too, unendingly dedicated,” he continued. “You know she visited me weekly in Munich, at the very least? Always by my side… like any good pet.”

A whimper escaped your throat at that term, your gut burning with need as he balanced praise and degradation effortlessly. You didn’t find it truly demeaning only because you loved being his plaything so much, and because you knew mutual respect was at the core of your relationship with him. But, still, it was nice to feel small when he was there to keep you safe.

James watched with a small snarl and Helmut slipped his hand into your panties, and Sam licked his lips but shifted his stare to your face instead, just as your eyes started to roll back and your head fell weakly on Helmut’s shoulder.

“And such a precious little pussy as well,” he added darkly, giving you a spank between your legs to make you choke on a squeal. “Sweet, delicate… much like a Turkish delight, but even more addictive.”

“Please, sir,” you whispered under your breath.

“You want more, don’t you? Tako očajno…” he chuckled. You nodded, already starting to soak through the lace and rock your hips. “You want to be fucked, yes?”

“Yes,” you moaned.

“Be polite and take care of our guests first, draga,” he encouraged, kissing your neck one more time before releasing you from his embrace.

Although you were most interested in being with the man you loved, you were happy to obey whatever he wished— and, frankly, sinking to your knees on the jet’s carpeted floor to crawl towards James wasn’t exactly lacking in its own appeal.

James’ eyes narrowed as Sam’s widened, and you sat up between the spread, denim-clad thighs as you blinked up at him and licked your lips.

He tensed up slightly as your hands delicately slid up his legs, his Adam's apple bobbing with a dry swallow when you grabbed his belt buckle and began to open it.

“You… you don’t have to…” he mumbled, apparently too distracted to finish his sentence.

“Yes I do,” you denied. “Because he told me to.”

Sam winced and looked away as you unzipped James’ fly and pulled his jeans and boxers down to expose his cock, already hard and leaking a bit from the tip. You smiled proudly, but chose not to tease him for his eagerness and instead just get right to work; you gripped him at the base and gave a few kitten licks over his shaft, savoring the taste of his precum and looking up at his expression that was equal parts shocked and sultry.

You only spent a moment suckling on the head before skipping right ahead and deepthroating him all the way to base.

“Oh, fuck,” James choked, reaching up grab the seat behind his head as his back arched, making you want to smile though you thankfully kept it down.

“Well-trained, isn’t she?” Helmut interjected proudly.

“Y-yeah,” he answered, his other hand grabbing your shoulder tightly as you began to bob your head.

Occasionally, in your peripheral, you caught Sam looking, and it made you wiggle your hips with the desire to rub your throbbing clit against the floor.

You got a chance to breathe whenever you pulled back to suck the head and stroke the rest with your hand, and in a few minutes you had already found all the little spots that made him moan the loudest, or made his legs quiver a bit by your sides.

“Stop,” Helmut instructed, and you were already starting to pull off when James hissed and grabbed your head to hold you down.

“N-no, please,” he blurted out.

“She’ll come back to you but Sam is looking rather lonely in the corner over there,” Helmut explained, and James hesitated but let you go. You wiped your lips and started to move towards Sam, but he shook his head.

“I don’t roll like that, man,” Sam explained, “I don’t want her doing it just because you said so.”

“Darling, won’t you tell us how badly you want to service your new friends?” Helmut challenged, and you swallowed nervously because you were a bit embarrassed to say too much and potentially anger him. But the sparkle in his eyes didn’t seem like he was leading you into a trap… even if the other two men were confident that was what it meant. “You find them attractive, don’t you?”

“Um, yes, sir,” you answered hesitantly, “I… saw them, and I wanted to know what their cocks looked like. And tasted like.”

Helmut smiled and leaned forward, giving you a spank of approval through your dress (which was riding up to show most of your butt anyways).

You looked at Sam expectantly. “May I please suck your cock, Mr. Wilson?”

His eyes darkened and you knew you were on the right track. “What happened to ‘sir’?” he asked coyly.

“I only call Helmut ‘sir,’” you explained, “but I could call you something else.”

His finger curled to encourage you to come closer and you crawled up to sit between his legs.

“Call me ‘daddy,’” he finally instructed, opening his belt and pants for you.

“Yes, daddy,” you nodded, keeping your mouth slack for him to push his cock into. You hummed as the head slid over your tongue, looking up at him as he bit his lip and thrust back into your throat.

“Shit, that’s good,” he whispered, guiding your head at the speed he wanted. “Who taught you how to suck cock so good, baby?”

Helmut raised his hand and James snorted.

Sam was a bit longer but he was still no challenge to swallow all the way down, and you heard him breathing through his teeth but let your eyes fall shut to focus on your work.

“Is this… how you treat all your guests?” Sam asked tensely between heavy breaths.

“Only those who are at the right place at the right time,” Helmut answered cryptically, but you happened to know this sort of occasion was incredibly rare. Although it might seem counterintuitive to some, this was his way to re-stake his claim over you, and after so much time apart apparently he felt he had a lot to prove. “Keep going, but don’t let him come,” another instruction echoed from behind you.

You pulled back to stroke Sam’s length while you croaked: “yes, sir.”

Helmut had you go back and forth for a while, keeping both men on edge and occasionally allowing you to stroke one while you sucked the other, your own need growing so quickly as you dreamed to have something inside you, anything really.

Obviously, he knew exactly how much having a cock down your throat made you wet and desperate. And he knew that such a taboo act of, in a certain sense, breaking fidelity with a man as he not only watched but commanded you to do it would get you right on the edge in no time.

He had gotten in your head so quickly after meeting you, memorized everything that made you tick, and not once had he forgotten.

“I-I’m close,” James warned as you sucked his head, making you slide the tip of your tongue over his slit before you took a break to suck his swollen balls into your mouth. “Fuck, can I come?”

“Not yet,” Helmut instructed sternly.

You felt him tug you back and into his lap suddenly, and he quickly yanked your dress down to expose your breasts to the men in front of you.

“Her tits are hard, no?” Helmut prompted them, and you watched them both nod as a warm hand reached around from behind you to tweak your hardened nipples. “Yes, she really loves to get on her knees and choke on cock. I’d let her do the same to me but I have greater plans for her…”

As if it weren’t obvious what those plans were, he pulled your skirt up to your waist as well, spreading your legs and pulling your flimsy panties aside.

“Is she wet?” he asked the men and they nodded again.

“Drenched,” Sam chimed in.

Helmut gave another spank to your clit as you shuddered, then rubbing slowly as if to soothe the sting. “I’ll teach you what happens when you get wet for another man, little girl,” Helmut growled against your ear, “not to mention two. And they’re Americans, do you have no shame?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” you whispered.

“No, you have nothing to be sorry for,” he corrected. “I love seeing you act like a whore all for me.”

You hadn’t even realized he’d taken his cock out of his trousers until you felt the thick tip of him prodding at your entrance. It was already a lot just by itself, but then you had these strangers staring at you and for some reason it only turned you on more.

That ‘some’ reason of course being that you loved your Baron taking ownership over you for anyone to see. Clearly, prison had given him much more creative ideas than just fucking on a balcony or against the glass of a window.

“Are you ready for me?” he asked in a hushed voice against your skin which seemed to be burning hot all of a sudden.

“Yes, sir,” you whispered.

It took a lot not to cry out as he pulled you down and filled you in one deep stroke, your nails digging into the leather of the chair’s armrests at either side. But more than the sting of pain it felt so perfect, so fundamentally right, and just after your gasp of shock was a sigh of relief.

He sighed along with you and let his forehead fall between your shoulder blades, clearly a bit overwhelmed at being inside you again for the first time in so long. “Draga...” he breathed, “not that I ever doubted… but you must have been faithful to me; you’re so tight, I know no one has touched you since I left.”

“Only you, sir, nobody but you,” you agreed breathlessly, eyes falling shut.

He kissed your back as he started to move your body on top of his, the hands at your waist tightening and tugging on the remaining fabric of your dress. “Tako dobro,” he hissed, “you feel so good, darling, you can’t imagine how long I spent dreaming of being inside you again.”

A tear rolled down your cheek, and it would be impossible to say for sure what caused it— a little bit of everything, really.

Opening your eyes and noticing the way they were staring at you, you leaned forward and took each of the other men’s hard cocks in your hands, stroking in time with the way you bounced your hips on top of Helmut’s.

The both of them had been on the edge for a bit too long, Sam already biting his lip as James thrust himself up into your palm.

“Fuck, please,” James moaned, “I need to come in your mouth.”

“Come closer then,” you breathed, watching him stand up and bring his cock right to your lips which you eagerly gagged on, any pretense long gone as you sloppily sucked and stroked while Helmut thrust up to slam into you.

“Ohh, fuck, that’s it— gonna come,” he grunted as he reached up to press his hand against the ceiling of the jet, and it all must have hit him rather unexpectedly since the moment his musky taste began to coat your tongue, you heard a clanging sound and realized he had pushed up so hard that he bent the steel interior, his other hand tightening into a fist in your hair.

You moaned happily as you swallowed every drop, still sucking even as James’ moans became loud and higher in pitch.

“Fuck, don’t stop, oh god,” he whined, cock throbbing even after he stopped filling your throat with come. You reached between his legs and squeezed his balls a bit and you could tell his knees nearly buckled, causing him to finally pull back and tilt your chin up to stare down at you. “You’re somethin’ else,” he panted, taking a moment to catch his breath before falling back and slumping into his chair.

You looked over at Sam and saw his hand was still lazily guiding yours to stroke over his cock although come already painted his abs and dripped down from his swollen head over your fingers. “Can I clean up your mess, please, daddy?” you asked, voice a bit hoarse though you couldn’t be sure if that was from the deepthroating or just how hard Helmut was fucking you now.

Pulling your hand back, Sam’s eyes followed as you lapped the thick, hot come from your hand, moaning openly at the taste. You sucked your fingers down into your throat, not leaving a drop behind.

He leaned back in his chair and began to catch his breath, both of them now staring at you with that exhausted, glazed-over expression. They looked satisfied, and you considered it your reward for a job well done.

"A belly full of come and a pussy full of my cock, you must be feeling ecstatic," Helmut presumed.

"Yes, sir," you agreed quickly.

All at once he began to fuck you faster, harder, deeper which you hadn't even realized was an option. He growled a string of the filthiest curses in your ear, in Sokovian so the other men wouldn’t understand, with one hand wrapped around your neck as the other pinched your clit almost too roughly. Even in your native language you could barely understand it: how could you when he was so deep inside you?

“Will you come, draga?” he finally asked, voice rough with his own desperation.

“Not until you let me, sir,” you moaned, and he chuckled a bit.

“Good girl.”

But wow, the way he rubbed your clit was impossible to ignore, like he was trying to make your promise impossible to keep. You tightened your jaw, moaning through your teeth now as you fought to keep your orgasm at bay.

“Please sir, I need to come, please— so close, I’m so close,” you mewled.

“I won’t be much longer, either,” he warned. "Too long without you has taken its toll, I need to finish."

“Inside me, sir, please,” you begged, “come inside me.”

You felt him nod against the back of your neck. “Come for me,” he instructed simply, and as obedient as ever, you felt your walls pulsing as pleasure overtook you. Not even meaning to, you threw your head back, and he had to hold you tightly to keep you from shaking too violently as the waves of sensation washed over you.

The heat of him spilling inside you warmed you from the inside out, making you smile happily through the fog of your high and intentionally tighten your walls around him. He hissed and throbbed within you, his fingers digging into your hips now as he held you down against him.

He gave a few more lazy thrusts until finally slowing to a stop, both of you catching your breath eventually.

"My... accountant will be keeping my cock warm for the remainder of the flight," Helmut informed the other men, "I hope you don't mind?

"No, no, go ahead," James approved as his head fell back against his chair.

It was still quite a ways to your final destination so it wasn't much of a surprise that you ended up falling asleep in the Baron's arms, something you used to do every night that had been only a dream for years. Perhaps this afternoon wasn't the reunion you expected, but it was somehow even more perfect than you could've ever wished for.

///

dobrodošla nazad, ljubavi = добродошла назад, љубави = “welcome home, love”

lutka = лутка = “doll”

draga = драга = “dear/beloved”

tako očajno = тако очајно = "so desperate"

tako dobro = тако добро = "so good"

#baron zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo smut #bucky barnes x reader #mafia!bucky barnes smut #sam wilson x reader #sam wilson smut #sambucky x reader #tfatws fanfiction

5K notes · View notes