Who Inspires me...
My biggest inspiration is my parents and my maternal grandparents.
My father is a radiologist in Nairobi, Kenya and he is 58 years old but looks like he is in his late 30's ;) He works from 7am to 6/7pm in the evening and some days even longer. He is the most reserved and calm person I have met. Always working hard to give our family the best life possible. I was always given what I asked for and more and that is because of how hardworking and selfless my parents are. My bachelors program got extended by 1 semester because of alot of things that happened during covid and I always freaked out about it. My thoughts were always "i did not do well" "i am going to let my parents down" "I dont know if i can continue" "one more semester means more money and time" "what will my parents say" and so on... My dad would always give his medicine career as an example and tell me all about his delays and heartaches and stress but end of the day how everything fell in place and he is where he is today because of that process and now I trust the process.
My MOTHER IS MY BIGGEST SUPPORT! I have showed her hell in the past and I still continue to freak her out :( but no matter what happens, she has always stood by me and I could not be more grateful. My mom did her M.A in Literature and now works as a geography/history/English teacher in Nairobi, Kenya and she is obviously the favorite teacher ;) She has always put herself 2nd and always prioritized us and given us the best. I am good at art, painting, candle making, swimming, badminton and so many more activities and that is only because she always pushed me. All she wants to see is me having a successful career and being independent and happy and I work towards that everyday. I want her to be proud of me someday and never have regrets about the time and effort she put into my childhood and until now.
My grandfather is 83 years old and he is a general surgeon, who is now practicing general medicine in Vizag, India. He has his own clinic and he sees about 250 to 300 patients a day. His consultation fee, treatment and prescription together is just 20 rupees ( $0.24 ). He was the first doctor in our family and he is for sure the most knowledgeable person I have ever met. He is the best example of "age is just a number".
My maternal grandmother is now 73 years old and she is the rock and back bone for our family. She has always had weak lungs and immune system but nothing stops her! she round all day, everyday! loves to cook, garden and she attends every event and festival, dressed like an absolute diva <3 she has 6 granddaughters and we are her everything! she always says "all I want to see if you studying well, having an amazing career and a beautiful family one day" and I always try my best to do well and not have any delays so that I can show her all of it one day!
Overall, I used to think of these great people and freedom fighters when asked about who inspires me (I think most of us do) but honestly my family is what motivates me, keeps me calm, pushes me to be my best and above everything, they are always there no matter what.
Thank you for reading my one 1 page long "who inspires me" story ;)
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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Jason to Bruce privately in the Cave: “That was the stupidest decision I’ve ever seen you make. Do you really think they’re going to want to be your friends once they find out the truth? If you could unclench for ONE minute this all could’ve been avoided—”
Jason at the Justice League meeting on the Watchtower ten minutes later: “If anyone even LOOKS at Batman I’ll rip their throat out. None of you fuckers understand how many favors he’s doing your sorry asses. If you’re too stupid to listen to Batman, that’s your prerogative. He’s the only thing keeping this damn satellite in ORBIT—”
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you and scaramouche have been married for fifty years, but unlike your immortal husband, you’re a human who inevitably ages.
“yes, she’s my wife. yes, she’s seventy-eight. you got a problem with that?”
he stares thunderously down at the recruit who had stupidly asked who the old grandma hanging around their camp was.
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