#yes i'm super late to the party

[springseasonie]

Notice Me | LHC (M)

Friends to lovers

Summary: You and your friends go to a college party, and tonight is the night where you are finally going to try and catch your crush's attention, who also happens to be one of your good friends. He doesn't think that he thinks of you in that way, but what happens when he sees you with another guy at the party?

Warnings: sexual content, protected sex, auralism, guided masturbation (kinda), sensory deprivation, super vanilla, reader is legally blind (trust it's important 🙏🏾), long haired haechan, violence (minor fight scene), special appearances: Karina and Yunjin

Word count: 7,5k

Song recs: moment by Victoria Monet

A/N: wrote this on a random whim. Def not my best writing but oh well. Hope you guys like it. I will start working on request after this one I promise 🫶🏾 feedback is loved and appreciated

“Are you guys sure I don't look crazy?” 

“Yes we're sure! Now let's go, we're already 45 minutes late and Mark is yelling at me in my messages!” 

Karina grabbed your hand, pulling you into the frat house followed by your other best friend Yujin. A chill ran down your spine and also your legs, never having this much skin exposed. This was new to you– dressing in skimpy clothes and college parties. But that wasn't the only thing new to you. Having a crush is also very new. 

The only reason you're even here is because of him. Haechan to be exact, who is a part of your friend group. He's the exact opposite of you– loud, cheerful, outgoing. But maybe that's why you like him so much. Opposites attract. 

And that's why you're standing in the middle of the doorway, looking like a deer in headlights in the shortest skirt and tiniest top ever. Tonight was gonna be all about catching his attention. It was going to be about making him look at you like a woman and not a friend. 

You walk through the crowd of people, their bodies constantly smashing yours. The constant bumping makes your glasses slide down your nose, making you fear that you may lose them. Most people think you're being dramatic when you say you can't see without them, but you're as blind as a bat.

Mark and Haechan soon come into view, standing in a circle with their other friends from the basketball team. 

“But don't you guys remember- woah..” Mark turned his head, stopping mid sentence when he saw Karina, and Yujin walking towards them. 

“Hey guys,” Yunjin said excitedly. 

Everyone said their hellos, but you couldn't help but notice the way their eyes lingered on you, all except Haechan. He spared you one glance and one hello before going silent, sipping whatever it was in his cup. You felt yourself die inside, the way he was treating you like an acquaintance all of a sudden. Was it too much? Did you go too far? 

“Sorry were we so late, it takes a long time getting ready,” Karina says, fixing her hair. 

“I'm sure it did.” Mark is still eyeing you like you've said something weird. None of them has ever seen you like this. You're always pretty much covered up. Hoodies and leggings are your daily attire. 

Mark turns his attention to you, scoffing in disbelief. “And look at you, walking in here looking like a sexy Velma.” 

“Oh shut up, she looks good. Right Haechan, doesn't she look good,” Yujin inquires. 

The male glances at you then back to Yujin then at Mark, whose brow is raised waiting for his answer. “You look…nice Y/N.” 

Nice? That's it? “Thanks,” you say, hands glued to your sides. 

Karina sighed, shaking her head at the dry response. “You guys suck at compliments,” she said. “Anyway, let's go get something to drink.” She took a hold of both Yujin and your hands, pulling you to the kitchen. 

Eyes never left your figure since you walked in the building. There were other girls dressed just like you, but for some reason all attention remained on you, and you didn't like it. So used to being a background character in your own life, you'll never get used to attention. 

“God you look hot, we did so good,” Yujin whispered to you, her voice slightly muffled because of the loud music. 

“Do I? He didn't have much of a reaction,” you argued, a frown tugging at your lips. 

“Everyone's been ogling at you all night, even Mark. You definitely look hot,” Karina reassures. “Besides, maybe you'll meet someone else here that you'll like. Haechan doesn't know what he's missing.” 

“Yeah, honestly if he doesn't do anything tonight, you need to move on sister,” Yunjin adds. “Can't keep dwelling on the same guy for 3 years.” 

But you don't want to move on. And if he rejects you, you know that you can't regardless. You'll still like him, because he's a good guy and always has been. There's probably nothing that could make you think anything less. Karina continued to pull you to the kitchen between the bodies when you suddenly bumped your shoulder into someone, causing them to drop something. 

“Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-” 

“It's no problem,” he said, a smirk tugging at his lips. “No big deal. It was just my phone.” 

You didn't even notice you lost the hold of Karina’s hand at this point, your attention being on the man in front of you. “D-did it break? I'll pay for it.” 

“No, it's doing just fine,” he said, placing the phone in his pocket without sparing a glance. He eyed you up and down, his gaze undressing you right in front of him. “What's your name?”

“Y/N,” you answered, gulping slightly out of nervousness. “Yours?” 

“Johnny.” Licking his lips, he narrows his eyes slightly while speaking to you. “You new around here? I've never seen you on campus before.”

“Well, I actually don't go here,” you say, words leaving your mouth a little too fast. “I have a couple of friends that do. They invited me to this party.” 

“Cool,” he said. “Can I… get you a drink?” 

Your eyes widened, a bit taken back by the sudden request, but you didn't disapprove of it at all. Johnny was cute, tall, had a nice voice and seemed like a nice guy. So why not take the offer? “Yeah, sure. That would be great.” 

 -

“Man, he sure is chatting her up,” Mark remarks, watching you and the unknown guy stand and talk while sipping on your drink.

“How can he not? She looks great tonight,” Yunjin comments. “Doesn't she Haechan?” 

Haechan furrows his brows, side eyeing her as he man-spreads on the couch they're all sitting on. “Why me specifically?” 

“Why not?” Yunjin shrugs. 

Haechan rolls his eyes, looking down at his lap trying to focus on anything but the scene in front of him, but he can't help it. You did look good, you looked great. But for some reason he couldn't say it. His stiffness towards you when you came in was because of how different you looked. Haechan wouldn't say he had a crush on you , more so complicated feelings. He didn't yearn for you, but he wouldn't hate it if something sprung from your friendship. 

Haechan knows that his female friends are attractive. Guys always talk about Karina and Yunjin, telling him that he should pursue them or sleep with them, that he's wasting his time being friends. He's never looked at them in that way, but with you it's a different story. You're easy to talk to, and you have lots in common with him. He also loves your glasses. It's something you don't like about yourself, but he thinks they make you look pretty. You've always been pretty to him, probably his exact type on paper. Someone who's smart, calm, a bit of a homebody, true to themselves. 

But disregarding any of that, he didn't have a crush on you. He wasn't into you in that way, despite what everyone else in the friend group thinks. His eyes narrow watching you cross your arms, throwing your head back while laughing at something. “So funny,” he mumbled. 

“You said something,” Yunjin asked. 

“No.”

“Sure… you know, if you like her you should-” 

“I don't like her. We are just friends,” he cuts her off.

Yunjin sighs, making her head. “Haechan you are fooling no one but yourself. I'll let you in on a little secret. Y/N has a crush on you,” she says, hoping that would help him open his eyes. 

Haechan stays silent, expression remaining stoic and straight as he stares directly at the male putting his hand on your hip. That's when he feels a slight sting in his chest. The small ping of jealousy. 

“How would you know that,” he says after a few beats of silence between them. 

“Why do you think she dressed up tonight? God, use your brain.” 

Before Haechan could respond, he watched as someone walked past you, bumping you on the shoulder. He watched as the drink fell out of your hand, almost like a cliche movie. 

The liquid splashed all over the guy’s chest, but he didn't seem too upset. In fact, he looked happy to Haechan, especially when you dabbed the paper towels all over his chest

“God, I am so sorry,” he heard you say panicked. Just as soon as you thought you were done panicking someone else walked beside you, bumping you in the shoulder. You must've been getting bumped all night because your glasses fell. 

“Shit,” you said. You dropped to your knees, feeling around the floor for your frames. “I-Im sorry can you please-”

You look up at Johnny, but you see nothing but a flash in your face. “J-Johnny?”

“God, has anyone ever seen you like this,” he laughed softly. “You're so hot, I could just-”

You heard a loud smack above you, followed by gasp and tons of commotion.

“What the fuck? Who the fuck are you,” you heard Johnny yell. 

“She's looking for her glasses. Aren't you gonna help,” you heard a voice similar to Haechan say. 

Johnny laughed, scoffing at the guy you couldn't see. “Is she your girl or something? You should keep her on a leash before I take her to my place and show her what a good time is.”

“Excuse me,” the other guy grumbled. You were still searching for your glasses, but from what you could tell, a group started to form around the 2 guys and yourself 

 “You heard me. Get your bitch or-”

A loud sound was heard coupled with oh’s and ah’s from the crowd. 

You heard another sound. This time, it sounded like a punch. There was a fight happening, and you were on the ground still looking for your glasses. Just as you reached in another direction on the floor, you felt hands pull your body up. 

“What the fuck was he thinking,” you hear Karina groan. She turned your body, placing your glasses back on your face. For the first time in a minute you can see, and you do not like what you see. 

Haechan and Mark were currently trying to fight Johnny and his two friends. “What is going on? Why is everyone fighting all of a sudden?” 

“Let's just get away from all this, and we'll tell you.”

You were pulled away, Karina and Yujin dragging you outside to the driveway away from the loudness of the party. “So what exactly is going on?” 

“Okay, so basically-” Karina started to speak, but Yujin cut her off quickly. 

“Everyone was watching you and that guy hit it off the whole time, but Haechan looked like he was gonna kill someone. So I said, you know if you like her you should tell her. And he was like I don't like her , we're just friends. Then he saw you trying to clean off that guy's shirt. Then your glasses fell and you got on the ground and-”

“I'm sorry, but what does that have anything to do with what just happened in there,” you say exasperated. 

“Well when your glasses fell and you got down to look for them your-”

“Oh my God.” Karina looked at her phone shocked. You and Yunjin stood next to her to see the screen, and was immediately horrified. 6 different people recorded and took pictures of you looking for your glasses on the floor. Every post had people calling you names ranging from desperate to slut. You didn't realize at the time, but almost your entire ass was out, and your cleavage could be seen clearly. 

“Fuck,” you groaned. “i'm going to kill myself.” You placed your face in your hands, covering the embarrassed expression. 

“Yeah,” Yunjin said, lips pursed right after. “That's what happened.” 

“Why did you guys let me do that” you whined. 

“We were on the couch, surprised. We thought you were trying to seduce the guy, but then we saw him pull his phone out and everything went to hell,” she explains. 

At this point you're pacing the driveway, trying to figure what to do about the party, the post, Johnny, Haechan, everyone. “Well now we have to leave,” you said. “We've been here for less than 2 hours and we have to leave.”

“Okay, well let me call them,” Yujin said. Just as she pulled out her phone, a voice was heard behind her. 

“No need,” Mark said, making his presence known. 

The three of you turned back to see them with their clothes messed up, cuts and bruises on their faces, and tired. 

“Oh my God,” Karina says with her hand over her mouth. “Are you guys okay?” 

“We're fine…well I'm fine. He's a bit..” 

You look over at Haechan who's standing there with his hands in his pockets. You don't know what came over you, but you took a couple of steps towards him, anger filling your mind. 

“Why would you do that,” you said. Your voice startled him, making him look up from the ground. 

“Y/N I-”

“I had no idea what was going on, and you two getting into a fight scares me to death,” you told him. “How did you even get all the cuts on your faces?” 

“Him and his friends had rings and stuff on,” he mumbled, shrugging. “Shit happens.” 

There weren't many times Haechan has seen you upset. The last time you were this mad was when Mark accidentally deleted your essay from your laptop doing his homework. 

“We have to leave right now,” you sighed, arms folded at your chest. “I won't know what to do if you get into another fight and you're already hurt like this.”

Without thinking, your hands reach up to his face, taking his chin between your fingers as you check his face for any other injuries that you can't see. Haechan thought he was crazy when the butterflies erupted in his stomach, but they erupted again when you looked at him with pity, like you cared about him. He hadn't felt that way in a long time. Getting attention from girls came easy to him, but none of the girls he's dealt with made him feel the way you do. 

 “I'll um..I'll get an Uber for us-”

“No I'll get it,” you said. “We're going back to my house, you can't take care of all these by yourself.” 

There it was, more butterflies. 

“We'll go back to Mark’s and help him out,” Karina said, side eyeing Yunjin. 

Yunjin quickly nodded, picking up the message Karina was sending. “Yep! Absolutely! We'll see you tomorrow!” 

“What? I don't need help. I'm a grown man,” he whined. Karina and Yunjin nudged Mark who didn't seem to understand what was going on, making the man look at them confused.

“Grown men don't get into fights at parties,” you snap. “We'll see you guys tomorrow.” 

-

“Wait in the bathroom. I'm going to change super quickly.” You shut your door behind you, locking it before kicking your shoes off. Before walking to your room, you turn to Haechan who looks as stiff as wood. “You look uncomfortable.” 

Haechan watched as you walked away from him, going to your kitchen instead of your room. You grabbed a mug, filling it with water. He's never been so uncomfortable with you, but right now he feels like he could explode. You look so good in your current outfit, the way your hips sway when you walk, the way the shirt hugs your chest. He feels like he shouldn't be looking at you like this, but he feels like he's the only one who should be allowed. 

“Here.” You hand him the mug, looking at him in the eyes like usual. 

Haechan gulps, forcing himself to stop, keeping his eyes on yours and not let the travel any further. “Thanks,” he says, taking it out of your hands. 

“Take your shoes off and relax,” you say. “I'll meet you in the bathroom in 5 minutes.” 

He watches you walk away, holding his breath until you shut the door behind you. “Fuck,” he sighs. The one thing he can't do is get hard standing at your front door. Haechan knows he wouldn't be able to explain that, let alone lie to you about it. The only thing he could do is sit in your bathroom like you asked, and wait for you to put normal clothes on. 

But Haechan is only a man. When you walked into the bathroom with short shorts and a laced lined camisole, the only thing he could do was pray for his presumed innocence. Pray that he didn't make a fool of himself in your house. 

You reached up in your medicine cabinet taking out the pain meds and supplies for his injuries. It took you 10 seconds to get everything out, but for him it felt like 10 years. The way the fabric rose as you lifted your arms, watching you lean your hips on the edge of the counter giving him the smallest piece of your ass to stare at. And the way your nipples poked through the shirt– he was going to pass out right then and there. 

There's nothing Haechan wanted more than to get behind you, feel up on your body. Whatever you were planning for the party worked because now he can't keep his mind off of you, and soon, it'll be his hands. To think you wore that outfit for him, he never would've guessed it. 

“I can change if you need me to,” you said softly, startling him. 

“N-no you don't need to change,” he said, watching you take two pills of pain meds out of the container. 

“Take these.” You handed him the pills, watching him drink them down as you leaned on the counter. Haechan was sitting on the toilet seat, so the sight of him taking deep gulps with his eyes closed was a treat to say the least. You shouldn't be eyeing him like this, but God, was he attractive, even with bruises and cuts. “Are you feeling any better?” 

“Gotta wait for them to kick in first,” he joked, but there was no smile on his face. 

You grabbed an ointment for his bruises, opening it and squeezing some on your fingers. Haechan watched you as you tended to his wounds, concentrating on not trying to hurt him. He loved the way you would bite your lip whenever you were trying to concentrate, he always did. 

The silence was comforting for a while, but then his thoughts got the best of him. Both of you actually. Your chest was in his face, his eyes wouldn't leave yours. The less talking there was, the more sexual tension filled the air, so you needed to get rid of it. But your mouth moves faster than your brain and for some reason, you felt it was the perfect moment to come clean about your intentions with him.

“I have something to confess,” you said softly. 

“What is it?” 

“I wore that outfit for you tonight,” you said, fixing your glasses on your nose bridge. 

He smiled to himself, but you didn't see. “I have something to confess.” 

“Hm,” you hummed. 

“I already knew that.” 

You let out a soft gasp, laughter soon following. “How did you know?” 

“Yunjin,” he said simply. You let out a sigh, shaking your head making him chuckle softly. 

“That girl can't keep a secret to save her life.” You moved on from his bruise, now tending to the scratches on his cheeks. Taking your fingers you apply the cream on the scratches, making him wince. “I only have a little bit left. This is why you shouldn't get in fights Mr. Lee.” 

“Well, I..” he hesitated. “I fought for you.” 

For a second you felt your heart drop. The guy you liked for 3 years fought for you, and you had absolutely nothing to say. “Thank you” was all you could manage. “But…why?” 

“He was…an ass.” Memories of the guy recording you why you were down struck his brain, pissing him off all over again. “He was treating you like some kind of sexual fantasy. And I don't like that.” 

You frowned, remembering that videos and pictures of yourself looking for your glasses are now circulating the Internet. “Yeah…”

“And I didn't like the way he was touching you,” he said, wincing at the feeling of you putting the bandage on. 

“You sound like a protective father,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood. “I appreciate you for defending me, but there's no reason to get hurt while doing it.” 

“But I want to,” he says, making you pause. “Y/N, I think I like you.” 

“I-I..uh..” You wanted so badly to say you liked him too, but now you were nervous. Your face was beating up, fogging your glasses. Be cool, be normal. “T-thanks..” 

“Thanks?” Haechan laughs softly. “That's what I get for fighting.” 

“No, that's not what I meant! I meant-”

“I know what you meant, and it's fine,” he reassured you. “I think I liked you for a long time, just didn't know if you felt the same way.” 

“How long is a long time to you?” 

“A couple months,” he answered. 

You sighed, a slight wave of disappointment filling your chest. “I wanted you for 3 years.” 

Haechan's eyes widened slightly, brows shooting up hearing your words. “3 years? Why didn't you tell me?” 

“Because I'm the kind of girl you befriend, not date,” you answered bitterly. 

“That's not true.” 

“All the girls you like are exactly like you. They're loud, adventurous, cool, hot, wear skimpy clothing,” you argued. “I'm just not your type.” 

“Well that can't be true now, because it seems like you are exactly my type,” he stated. 

“For now.” You started treating his last bit of scratches, scrunching your nose to keep your glasses from slipping again. “Why do you think I wore that outfit? I just wanted you to notice me.” 

“But I noticed you. I do all the time,” he revealed. 

“But it wasn't until tonight which made you realize that,” you added. And with that final comment, you finished tending to his wounds, placing the last bandage on his face. “I'm all done. If you wanna go home, I can-” 

“No,” he said. Haechan placed his hands on the back of your thighs, his soft palms sending lightning through your body. “I'm staying here.” 

You could barely think straight with him touching you, the hold on your legs just getting stronger and stronger, his thumbs pressing into your skin. That's when Haechan kisses up your clothed stomach softly and slowly, making your lashes and heart flutter as you watch him from above. 

“Haechan, stop,” you sigh. “Y-you're not thinking straight.” 

He stands up, his lanky figure looming over yours. You swear you feel dizzy the moment his cologne hits your nose. He pulls you closer, his pelvis on yours. You could feel his hard on sitting right on your aching cunt. 

“I know you feel it,” he whispers. “I know you feel the tension here. And I know you feel how hard I am too.” 

Gulping, you look away from him. This is everything you've fantasized about for the last 3 years, but something is telling you no. Something is telling you it's too good to be true. “Maybe..maybe we should wait.”

Haechan takes your chin in his bruised knuckles, lifting your chin to look at him, but all you can see are his pretty lips hovering over yours. “Are you sure you wanna wait? Because I'm not sure I can hold myself back for even a second.” 

His free hand travels up your leg, his fingertips grazing the heat between your legs ever so slightly, teasing you even more. “You have no idea how pissed it made me feel seeing that guy touch and feel on you, knowing it should've been me.” 

“That's why you fought him?” 

The breathiness of your words almost made him spiral. You were breathing heavily, your chest pressed against his so turned on at every little thing he did. 

“Mhm,” he mumbled. “Seeing you walk around in that tiny skirt knowing I couldn't have you..”

“You have me now..” 

“You're right, I do.” 

Haechan kisses you just as you imagined, soft and with care. He kept kissing you, each kiss making you feel high. His hands left your face and leg, grabbing a hold of your waist. You yelp, feeling your body be lifted onto the end of your sink, legs spread apart as he stands between them. His tongue entered your mouth, the kisses slowing down and lingering a bit. 

Haechan places his hands on your sides, soon traveling to your chest. Hard nipples looking through the fabric, teasing him the whole time he's been in your house can finally be his. Haechan hooks his fingers on the bottom of your shirt, begging to pull it up when you grab his wrist, stopping him. 

You pull away painfully slow, a strong of saliva still connecting your lips only for a second. “Can we go to my room?” 

Haechan said nothing, just backing away from your body and pulling you off the counter. He pulled you to your room, still messy as always. He always loved your house, especially your room. Something about it felt like home. There's always little bits of you scattered throughout your space, whether it be homework, a brush, a mug, or even a sock. It doesn't matter how many times he comes over, it always feels the same. 

But this time it felt a little different. He wasn't going to your room to hang out with the others, he was going to have sex with you. Going to make out with you, to be more than friends with you. This was going to change everything about your relationship with him, but it didn't matter right now. All that mattered was making you feel good. 

Haechan sat on your bed looking up at you, mirroring his previous actions in your bathroom. You were more nervous than ever now with him sitting there expectantly. Fixing your glasses, you placed your hand on his shoulder, climbing on his body to straddle him. 

“Can I take your top off,” his whispered peppering soft kisses down your neck. 

You nod, giving him permission. Haechan hooks his fingers on the hem of your top, lifting the fabric off your body. He feels like he's 16 again, like this is his first time seeing a woman's chest, except it's yours, which is much more important. He starts kissing you slow, his hands naturally finding their way to your chest. You shuddered at the way his cold palms molded your breasts, shaky breaths leaving your mouth and into his every once in a while. 

Haechan started kissing down your jaw, then to your neck, making tilt your head to give him more access. His hands leave your chest for a bit, placing them on your back pulling you closer to his body. Your nipples touch the cold of the print on his graphic tee, stimulating you more while he leaves wet messy kisses all over your skin. 

He kisses lower and lower, lips now pressing against the top of your breast. You look down at him, the most dreamy expression ever when his eyes meet your framed ones. You look so cute in them, but still the sexist person he'd ever seen in glasses. 

You let out a soft moan feeling his tongue swipe against your nipples, the feeling being foreign after being on such a long dry spell. He licks the stiffened peak again, then sucking it while staring up at you. 

“So pretty,” he whispers on your skin. 

You're soaking at this point, his touch and voice bewitching you. Haechan holds you tight, sucking your nipples softly. His eyes hung low, the stare making you squirm. You watched as his brows furrowed hearing your soft whines, his hand gripping the fabric on your hip. He releases your breast from his mouth with a soft pop, the cold air hitting the wet peak making you shiver. 

“Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

Your eyes dart to his face, glasses slipping down your nose bit by bit. “I..”

Haechan smirks, his soft lips kissing your chest once again while his hands roam your body. “I know you do,” he whispers. “You're the most obvious person I know.” 

Haechan slips his hands to your lower back, his fingers dipping lower and lower into your shorts. He can't help himself, squeezing the flesh in his hands like a stress ball making you push into his palms more. 

“I want you to show me,” he says, words muffled in your neck while he kisses it. 

“S-show you,” you question.

“I want you to show me what you do when you make yourself feel good,” he adds. “Is that okay?” 

You were intoxicated in your home and he's barely touched you yet, but his voice and eyes did something else to you. You needed more. You nodded, lips parting slightly when he takes his hands out your shorts. 

“Stand up.” 

You remove your leg from his side, removing yourself from his lap. Haechan stood up, body so close to yours you could feel the heat emitting off of him. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt, lips curling into a small smile. “Wanna help?” 

You nodded slowly, hands lifting his shirt above his head. His eyes disappeared behind the fabric but once it was off him, they connected with yours once again, making your core clench around nothing. You tossed his shirt on the floor, eyes trailing down his soft but toned body. You've seen him shirtless plenty of times but this was different. This felt different. 

Haechan's gaze lingered on you as he unhooked his belt, the sound of the metal clinging sending a shiver down your spine. He let them fall, showcasing black underwear to you. Haechan leans down, kissing you softly as he steps out of the pool of fabric, groaning in your mouth softly when your chest touches his. 

“Now,” he says softly, pulling away from you. Taking your hand, he pulls you to the side of your bed, climbing onto the mattress. Haechan plops down, leaning his head on your headboard in the dreamiest way possible. “I need those off” – he points to your shorts – “and you right here.” He pays the spot between his legs. 

Your fingers dig into your waistline, hesitating for what feels like an eternity. Your heart was beating rapidly,  with every second feeling like years. Haechan watched you pull the last piece of decency off your body, soaking in every bit of bare skin he laid his eyes on. He needed to feel you, touch you, eat you. But first he wanted to see you. 

Climbing on the bed, he sensed how anxious you were, wrapping his arms around your body once you settled between his legs. And just like that, you were like putty in his hands, immediately melting in his touch letting him run his hands all over your skin, groping at you wherever he liked. 

“Spread those legs for me pretty,” he said into your ear, smiling when you obeyed. His fingertips trail lines in your hips, soon moving down your legs. He could barely control himself, hands moving closer and closer to your soaked core, the actions making you bring your knees together. 

“Shit,” you mumbled, face hot as you witnessed your glasses fog bit by bit. 

“Do you always wear your glasses during sex” he asked, kissing behind your ear softly. 

“Y-yes, why?”

“I want you to take them off for me.” Haechan laughs to himself softly when you sit up, turning to him with a confused expression. 

“But then I-I can't see,” you say, a slight whine in your voice. 

“I'll do that for you.” Haechan removes the frames from your face gently, folding them and placing them on your lamp table. “I want you to focus on how you feel and what I say. Can you do that for me?” 

His milky tone, the way his lips brushed on your earlobe, his soft touch between your thighs. You'd do anything he asks for in a heartbeat. “Y-yes.” 

“Good girl,” he praises. “You know what to do.”

Haechan watched you start rubbing your clit slowly, biting his lip softly. His hands continued rubbing your thighs, soothing you as you leaned into his chest more. You feel his heavy breathing on your back, your lids going heavy once you insert two fingers inside. 

Haechan was rock solid at the point, watching your fingers move in and out of you, the squelch your pussy made being music to his ears. “Fuck,” he mumbles in your ear.

You clench around your fingers to his voice, the breath tickling your ears making you squirm between him. Your eyes are closed, so you don't see the way he's looking beside you, watching the way your face twitches at every feeling or sound. His stomach flips when you gasp at the sudden feeling his hands on your chest, small moans escaping to the added pleasure. 

“I love that sound,” he says, the sound of your pussy getting louder when you finger yourself faster. 

“S-stop,” you stutter. 

“Are you embarrassed,” he chuckles softly, nipping at your ear, not taking his eyes off the scene between your legs. You gulp and nod, a small whine spilling from your lips. 

“God you're so cute.” Haechan removes one hand off your chest, creeping his fingers back between your legs. “Almost as cute as this pretty clit right here.” 

“H-haechan..” 

He started rubbing small, slow circles, your moans increasing in volume. You kept fingering yourself, but you needed more. You needed his cock, his mouth, his pretty hands. The thought of him finger fucking you till you came stimulated you, making your hips move on their own, grinding against his fingers.

“Tell me what you're thinking about.” He had pressure on his fingers making a whine leave you plump lips. “What do you want from me Y/N?” 

“I..I want you Haechan,” you answer breathlessly. “I want you to make me cum.” Your hand pumps your hole faster, wetness coating your fingers running down your hands. His breath tickles your neck as he begins to grind on you. Eyes closed, head falling back on his shoulder, you let your hips move on their own. You're so close, the feeling of his chest rising on your back aiding to the pleasure throughout your body. 

“I want you inside me,” you moan softly, brows furrowing. 

“How bad,” he teased, a smile on his lips. He rubbed your clit faster, starting to feel your legs shaking. Your moans increased, whines and whimpers freely falling from your lips. He knew you were going to cum. 

“So, so bad,” you whispered. “I-Im gonna cum haechan..” 

“Cum for me,” he whispered. “You're so pretty when you cum.” 

You pumped your fingers harder and faster, the sound of your wet hole filling his ears. You came around your fingers, pussy squeezing tight on the digits inside you. Haechan kept rubbing your clit, the feeling of his fingers on the sensitive bud making you shiver on his shoulder. 

“There you go Y/N,” he said softly, his other hand rubbing your thigh. “Let it out. God, you make the prettiest sounds.” 

You pulled your fingers from between your legs, hand resting on your other thigh as you breathed heavily against his body. That's when you feel his hand take yours, bringing it to his mouth. Haechan wrapped his lips around your fingers, sucking your arousal off your fingers. 

“Haechan,” you whined, hanging your head low in embarrassment. He chuckled, taking your face and turning it to him. He kisses you softly, the taste of your own cum on his lips. “I need you so bad,” you mumbled on his lips. 

“Lay down for me okay?” 

You nodded, lifting yourself from his body, allowing him to move from behind you. You reached for your glasses, putting them on, clearing your blurry vision. When you looked back up, Haechan was pulling his underwear off his body, hard on so big, it hit his stomach. 

“Holy fuck,” you mumbled to yourself. He was big. Bigger than you imagined, and it makes you wonder where he was hiding it all this time under his skinny jeans. 

“Staring isn't very polite, you know.” 

His voice broke your thoughts, making your eyes snap back up to his face. Dark locks of hair fell in his eyes, that same teasing grin on his mouth. He looked like a dream– bruises and bangs on his face, knuckles red, but still hot. He crawled onto the bed, yanking your body lower on the bed by your ankles. 

“You have some condoms,” he said, eyes scanning your naked body. 

“I-In my drawer.” You point to your bedside table, eyes following him as he bends over you to open the drawer. You were practically drooling at this point, the thirstiest you've ever been and it was starting to become too real to be true. Haechan takes an unopened packet from the drawer, shutting it right after. Your eyes don't leave him as he sits back up and opens the plastic, a gulp going down your throat in anticipation. 

“If at any point you wanna stop, just let me know,” he says, sliding the condoms on. Haechan watches your facial expressions and body language. You were excited, he could tell. But you were also the most nervous he's ever seen you. “Listen,” he says softly. His fingertips glide on the inner side of your thighs, hands pushing your legs up by the back of your knees. “I want you to look at me the whole time. Can you do that?” 

The softness in the way he spoke felt a bit unfamiliar to you, you immediately softened nodding at his request. “Y-yeah.”

Haechan licks his lips, lining himself with you. A small gasp fell from your lips feeling his tip stretch you open. He pushed himself in a bit more, watching your face slowly contort silently. Haechan held your legs up to your chest, eyes never leaving the view of his dick disappearing between your legs.

“Fuck,” he sighed, the feeling of your tight pussy almost making him cum right then and there. He looks back up at your face, your eyes are closed, head resting on your pillow. Your glasses are crooked due to the position of your head, but it's sexy to him. 

Haechan starts thrusting in you slowly, eyes shut as he moves taking in the feeling. But you keep looking at him. You keep staring at the way the muscles in his arms slightly flex, you stare at the way his chest moves after every deep breath he takes. He must've known you were staring because he opens his eyes, staring at you fucked out face. 

“Youre.. you're so big,” you mumbled, voice shaky from the pleasure. 

Haechan opens his eyes, staring down at you through his bangs as he thrusted deeper. “Keep saying things like that, and you'll boost my ego.” He snaps his hips into yours, his dick reaching further into you. Haechan speeds up his movements, his hands gripping your legs tighter, pushing them closer to your chest. You tried you best to look at him, but with every movement, you felt your vision go blurry with pleasure. Your moans and whimpers filled the room accompanied with his grunts and the sound of the bed. 

Haechan lets go of your legs, letting himself fall onto your body. He held himself up, one hand on your hip and the other holding himself. You let your eyes close for one second, but Haechan is quick to slap your hip, making you open your eyes. You stare at him, raising your hand and fixing your glasses with your brows furrowed at the feeling of him inside you. 

“Don't look away,” he moans softly. “Keep looking at me..keep those eyes on me.” 

And you did, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer. Haechan lets out a small hiss feeling you squeeze around him. 

“Faster,” you moaned shakily, breath tickling his nose. Haechan melts when your face twists in pleasure, brows scrunching with every moment. 

“Fuck, right there,” you whimpers, pulling him closer. Haechan kisses you, you both moaning and grunting into each other's mouths. 

“You like this Y/N? You like when I fuck you good,” he groans, on your mouth.

“Yes, yes.” You nod fast, eyes stuck in his as he plows you into the mattress. The sound of your skin colliding, bed creaking, moans filling the air over stimulated you along with his raspy voice, saying the dirtiest things in your ear. 

He reaches up, removing your glasses from your face and throwing them somewhere on your bed. Too fucked out to even respond, you shut your eyes letting him bury his head in your neck, leaving wet kisses all over your skin. 

“I'm so close,” you moaned, legs starting to shake on either side of him. 

“Cum for me,” he grunts. “I want you to cum around my cock right now.” He reaches down between your bodies, fingers rubbing your clit fast. Haechan has had sex a million times, but nothing could compare to the way you felt squeezing around him. The way your moans rose in pitch when you came, the way you said his name. 

“Haechan,” you whispered, nails pressing into the skin on his back. “Oh my God, fuck..”

He kept fucking you into the mattress, chasing his own high right after yours. “Just a little more baby, fuck..”

You opened your eyes, brows furrowed as you watched his body rise, hands grasping your waist tight. His thumbs pressed into your sides, holding your body close to his while he plowed into you. Even blurry, he was a dream to look at. His hair hung in his face, biting his lip as he chased his orgasm. 

But better get, you looked like an angel underneath him. The sweat on your body, your face, hair, sounds. Perfect. His eyes followed your hand, watching them as one went to your nipple and the other went between your legs. 

“Fuck,” he kissed. The tight feeling in his stomach started getting tighter. Haechan’s jaw dropped, brows scrunched as he came, a strangled moan escaping his throat. 

Haechan stopped thrusting, pulling out of you after a couple of seconds. The both of you sat in the silence of heavy breathing, his hands still on your waist. You reached to grab your glasses, finding them on the blanket and putting them on lazily. That's when you look at Haechan, his blushed  cheeks, sweat on his forehead, trying to catch his breath. 

“Are you-”

“Can we-”

Both of you stop and look at each other. The air starts to feel heavy for some reason, the silence giving you time to think about what you were going to say. Can we go on a date?

You gulped at the way his eyes won't stop staring into yours. His lips part, eyes narrowing when he rubs his thumbs on your sides, soothing your very obvious nerves. 

“Say it,” he says softly, 

“Can we… be more than friends?” 

You blinked, Haechan staring at you with a blank expression. Suddenly he began laughing, hanging his head low after you spoke. 

“What,” you questioned, heart sinking into your stomach. 

“Why did you ask me that,” he chuckled, grinning from ear to ear at you question. 

You swallowed, expression hardening at his words. “Did I say something wrong?” 

Haechan noticed the tremble in your words and immediately stopped laughing, realizing that you were very much serious. Haechan leaned down, his body on yours and head in your neck. He kissed your skin softly, one hand holding him up while the other caressed your skin. 

You watch him, feeling yourself melting into his soft touch. His fingertips dragged along your abdomen, sending chills down your spine. “H-haechan,” you said softly. “Answer my question.”

Instead of answering you, he moved from your neck to your lips. He captured you in a soft, sweet kiss, turned deep and passionate. Something about the way he kisses you at the moment feels romantic, as if he's trying to communicate his feelings without speaking, but you need him to say it. You need him to speak to you.

Haechan pulled away from you, his eyes flickering between your eyes and lips. “Did that answer your question,” he said softly. 

You shook your head, making him laugh softly. “Answer.” 

He smiled, licking his lips before speaking. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”

“Well..” you paused before looking  up at him, eyes staring into his soul. The silence felt like an eternity between you both, but it soon disappeared when you spoke. 

“Can you be mine?”

#nct #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct u #nct x reader #nct oneshot #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct dream #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 smut #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream smut #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fanfic #nct haechan #haechan #haechan imagines #haechan oneshot #haechan scenarios #haechan smut

[sturniolo-fall-enthusiast]

Drunk

warnings: vomiting

Y/N went out with some of her friends to celebrate her 21st birthday, the small group going to a bar. She spent most of the day with Matt and his brothers, having gone to see a movie and the triplets bought her a cake.

After Y/N is plenty drunk, one of her friends calls Matt, letting him know he should come pick her up before she blacks out.

Matt gets to the bar, going inside, immediately spotting the group. He walks over and puts his hand on Y/N's arm making her turn.

Y/N loudly gasps, her eyes brightening at the sight of him.

"Matty!" She cheers, crashing into him, her arms wrapping around his neck.

"Hi." He mumbles, kissing the side of her head. "Having fun?"

"Oh, I am having a blast." She giggles. She places a loud kiss on his lips, Matt rubbing his cheeks when he feels them heat up.

"Okay, baby, hey, we're gonna go home, all right?" Matt tells her, keeping his arms wrapped around her waist.

"But I'm having fun. I don't wanna go." Y/N whines, her lips forming into a pout.

"I know, but it's getting late and your friend called, I think the party's over, babe." Matt says. Y/N groans, but doesn't protest.

"Pizza sounds super good." She suddenly says.

"I'll order you pizza." Matt promises. "Do you guys have a ride home? Are any of you sober?"

"I'm not drunk, but not sober. We all Ubered, though, so, we'll do that." One of Y/N's friends say.

"I can drive you guys home first." Matt offers.

"Oh, no, you don't--"

"I'm serious. I know it'd make her feel better -- once she's sober." Matt says. "I don't mind."

"Uh... ye-yeah. Yeah, sure, if it's no issue." The girl says and Matt nods. "Okay. I'm gonna go close the tab." Matt nods again as she walks off.

After managing to get the group out of the bar, they go to Matt's car, Y/N's friends getting in the back.

"Come on, sweetheart." Matt opens the passenger door, helping Y/N in. "There you go." She drunkenly mumbles to herself as she climbs in. Matt moves one hand to her head, making sure she doesn't hit it.

"Mm. This is comfy." Y/N slouches in the seat a bit. Matt grabs the seatbelt, leaning over her to buckle her in.

"Okay. There you go." Matt kisses her on the forehead as he moves away, shutting the door. He makes sure all of Y/N's friends are in before shutting the back door. Quickly going to the driver's seat he gets in and puts his seatbelt on.

"Are you all good?" Matt looks back at the group.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're good. I put the first address in my phone, here." She gives him her phone.

"Thanks." Matt mumbles, glancing back at them one more time before putting the car in drive. He really hopes none of them puke in his car.

---

After dropping all of Y/N's friends off, Matt stopped and got a pizza, getting some for him and his brothers.

"My favorite." Y/N grins, grabbing a piece of pizza and eating it. Matt glances at her as he drives off, finally making his way to his home.

"You feel okay?" He asks, reaching over and moving some hair out of her face so it doesn't get in the food.

"Mm. Marvelous." She says with her mouth full.

---

Getting home, Matt leads Y/N inside, the girl trying to multitask eating and walking.

"Babe, hey, careful." Matt warns after she trips over the doorstep.

"'M fine." She mumbles, her words slurred.

"Gimme the box, baby." Matt takes the pizza from her, holding the food in one arm. He wraps his free arm around her waist, helping her up the stairs.

"All right." He puts the pizzas on the table and leads Y/N to his room. "Wanna change into comfier clothes?"

"But the dress is so pretty." Y/N says.

"It's beautiful, but you'll be just as beautiful in pajamas." Matt promises. Y/N giggles.

Matt sits her on the bed and digs through his closet for clothes. He grabs a pair of her sweatpants and one of his shirts.

"Okay." Matt mumbles, pulling the straps of her dress off and pulling the dress off her. Matt grabs the shirt and puts it over her head, helping her get her arms through the holes. Matt puts the pants on.

"Stand up for a sec." Matt mumbles, pulling her to her feet and he pulls the pants up. "Okay. Want some more pizza?"

"Mm-hmm." Y/N nods, but grimaces right after.

"What?" Matt's eyes flick over every inch of her face, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. "Shit." He realizes as Y/N bolts to the bathroom. She makes it to the toilet just in time, vomiting into the bowl.

Matt's right behind her, quickly collecting her hair in his hands, holding it out of her face. He winces as she throws up all of the alcohol and pizza.

"This hurts." Y/N whines, coughing.

"I know, baby." Matt sympathizes. "Let it out. It'll be over soon." He encourages.

After a few more moments, Y/N sits back, her back resting against the tub.

"You done?" Matt asks.

"I think so." She mumbles, grimacing at the taste in her mouth.

Matt quickly puts her hair up in a ponytail, using the hair tie he keeps on his wrist.

"Be right back." He promises, rushing out of the bathroom, returning after a few seconds. "Here." He puts the water bottle down and wets the paper towel he got. He places one hand on the back of her head and gently wipes her mouth, throwing the paper towel away.

"Sip on this." He opens the bottle for her, giving it to her. Y/N takes a small sip.

Matt gets a makeup wipe out and sits next to her.

"If you puke, just... do it in the other direction, please." Matt tells her. Y/N lightly rolls her eyes, but nods. Matt places his hand on the side of her neck, his thumb brushing over her cheek for a moment. He gently wipes all the makeup off her face, throwing the wipe away when he's done.

"I'm gonna get you some more pizza. It will help soak up the alcohol." Matt says.

"You are super smart for not drinking cause this... this sucks." Y/N states in a loud whisper. "I'm never doing this again." She groans.

"Mm-hmm. Okay, baby." Matt kisses her forehead. "C'mon." He stands up and slowly helps her up, leading her back to his room.

Matt helps her into bed and gives her the water bottle. He puts the trash can next to the bed and then leaves to get the pizza.

He soon returns with the box of pizza and a plate that has a few slices of pizza on it.

"Here you go." He puts the box in her lap and takes his plate. He gets in bed and turns the TV on, putting a random show on.

"You feel any better?" Matt asks after a few bites of pizza. Y/N holds her hand up, her thumb and pointer finger barely an inch from each other.

"Getting drunk is a lot more fun in theory. And just... prior to the whole puking stage." Y/N groans.

"Yeah, I bet." Matt quietly laughs. "Your life's gonna suck tomorrow." He adds making her whine.

"Shut up." She groans making him laugh more. "God, Chris and Nick are gonna be 1,000 times louder." She dreads.

"I'll keep 'em out of your hair." Matt promises.

After eating what she could stomach, Y/N ended up falling asleep, leaning against Matt. He texts Nick making his brother come in and put the pizza in the fridge, not wanting to wake his girlfriend up.

Matt repositions Y/N so she's lying down and he lays next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Matty?" She tiredly mumbles, still half asleep.

"I'm right here." He mumbles, kissing her on the head, pulling her closer to him.

#matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo

[tripleyeeet]

THE ROGUE TAX (2)

SUMMARY: Fed up with paying Astarion to pick all the locks, you force yourself to learn the hard way.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader (reads as Gender Neutral but future chapters will be femme focused, just a heads up!)

WORD COUNT: 2,635

WARNINGS: Short nightmare sequence, too much sexual tension, slight mentions of a handkink, inappropriate lock pick teaching.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know I'm posting these super early but day two of the Haunted Hoedown! This time the prompt is "finders keepers!" I honestly had so much fun with this one, so hopefully all the new Astarion fans that've followed me in the last day enjoy? Love you guys. :))))

Also I was originally going to make all of these challenge fics separate but I've since decided to make it more of a connected fic so... that's a thing now? I'll link the last chapter below!

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

-

“I wasn’t aware you were so proficient at lock picking.” 

You smirk at Astarion’s false praise, busying your hands against the lock’s mechanism. You’ve only been at it for five or six, maybe seven tops but you can already tell it’ll be a while. The lock itself is tough; covered in a layer of thick rust. Plus, being that it’s a chest and not a door, it’s a bit more advanced than you’re used to.

“Yes, well, not all of us are vampires that can woo their way through a padlock.” 

In response, Astarion laughs, throwing his head back so dramatically that from the corner of your eye, it looks as if he’s lost his head for a moment. “You do realize who you’re talking to, correct?”

You hum out a response and push the short hook further in, feeling the pressure of a loose pin hit the end. When that happens, you grin to yourself and slide closer to the chest, biting your bottom lip in excitement. 

Over the last few weeks, you and the rest of the group had come upon some interesting findings. A cave inside a well, a few hidden cellars around the surrounding the goblin camp, a hidden chest or two. At first, it was exciting, getting to experience the joys of a good treasure hunt but quickly such feelings fell once you discovered how difficult it was to break into said things without the help of Astarion and his seemingly magic hands.

“I know you’re excited to prove yourself, darling, but why don’t you let me finish things off, hm? It’ll go a lot quicker.” 

You shake your head and continue your ministrations, carefully pushing the hook further in, feeling that alleviated pressure of another pin. “I’m tired of relying on you and your bloody rogue tax.” 

After agreeing that Astarion would just pick every lock your party found for a price, it was evident he was more than willing to take more than he was owed. Saying things like I did all the work or you wouldn’t be here if not for me, it was obvious he was exploiting you. Using his roguish charms to earn himself a bigger cut despite doing next to nothing else. 

It was frustrating, to say the least. Another minor annoyance to add to his long list of negative personality traits, and lately you were determined to combat it. To learn the trade for yourself so that every piece of treasure found could remain solely yours. 

“I’m sure everyone is but that’s the price you pay for a professional.” 

You roll your eyes and continue to fiddle, feeling his gaze glued to the positioning of your hands —how your fingers tighten and twist around the metal instrument. 

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you at least a little bit nervous —having his eyes on you. Across your palms, you can feel the slick of sweat collecting with each new movement, while behind you, you can practically feel Astarion’s judgement throughout, silently picking apart all of your mistakes. 

“You’re doing—“

You shush him angrily before he can continue, knowing he’s trying to break your concentration. Knowing that he thinks that if he can prove to be enough of a distraction you’ll end up slipping up and giving in. 

“I was just going to tell you about the wonderful job you’re doing.” His tone is laced with sarcasm. Drenched in a thick layer of impatience that has you groaning under your breath. 

“Isn’t there someone else you can bother?”

“No.”

You know there is. In the other room of the abandoned building you currently find yourselves in, at least four other people are rooting through the rubble. Most likely they’re stationed in their usual areas. Gale’s probably next to the stack of bookshelves with Karlach, telling her all about his collection back at the camp while Wyll and Shadowheart are searching through the cellar in hopes of more wine. 

“You sure?”

For a moment you debate telling him to go keep watch with Lae’zel just so that he’ll shut up but the thought dissipates once you feel him flop onto the floor beside you with a groan. 

“Everyone else is so dull,” he complains. His line of slight flickers between your face and hands, watching the way they remain almost too still as he speaks. “They’re all do this do that, and for what?”

You shrug your shoulders ever so slightly, unsure of what he means.

“They’re all living for other people, darling. Other causes. Everything they do serves a higher purpose and for that reason alone, they’re boring.”

Despite your previous determination your hands release themselves from the padlock before you find yourself readjusting —moving to plop down next to him. “You think everyone’s boring because they’re selfless?”

“Predictable,” he corrects, pointing a loose finger in your direction. “All of them talk too much about a future that may not even come considering we’re infected and have little idea on how to remedy the situation.” 

You’re not sure where this rant is coming from but you welcome it considering it’s been weeks since you’ve had a normal conversation that didn’t revolve around mapping or looting or combat. Weeks since you’ve taken a moment to learn about the people you find yourself in constant contact with. 

“Some people just don’t like looking back.” 

There’s a hint of surprise in his eyes when you respond as if he wasn’t expecting such an answer. Or really, maybe an answer at all. All at once his face seems to rise in thought, taking a moment to absorb the words before he hums in response, pursing his lips. “Yes, well, I suppose some people don’t have a past worth running from.”

What’s that supposed to mean?

The tadpole behind your eye wriggles for his attention before you can even think to suppress it. Working to pull him in as you stare at one another, narrowing your eyes at the sudden cerebral contact. At first, he’s reluctant. You can feel the pushing sensation suggesting that you stop. That you should stick to the confines of your own mind rather than pestering him, but quicker than you can move away to agree, it’s as if you’re sucked back in again. Pulled by the very thread of your own brain matter to see flashes of a life you assume to be his.

The first thing you see is candlelight. A flickering of warm hues that dance across wooden interiors. It’s almost dizzying the way the light shifts across your vision, forcing you to close your eyes. Next to you, you can hear Astarion breathing heavily. Deep inhales followed by even deeper exhales that you swiftly use as a metronome to carry your focus. To aid your tadpole’s connection. 

Swallowing hard, you listen to the beats of his breath, feeling them take over your chest as the vision in front of you grows to reveal bits of cobblestone. In the background, you can hear the faint sounds of scuttling feet. The dripping of water. A hungry growl followed by an even hungrier gnaw of flesh that squelches on your tongue. 

You can taste the iron —feel the fur and bones of an unknown animal brush against your lips and gums. All of it swirls around your mouth like a tornado of overstimulating sensations, forcing the vision to pass as you reach for your throat, coughing up nothing but your own spit despite how real it feels. 

It’s apparent then what Astarion means. That some people aren’t always blessed with the privilege of running away. That people like him don’t have the means of calling upon allies to aid them through the awful shit that is reality. 

Even with such little context, you can sense through his tadpole that he’s alone in this life. Alone before the Illithid —alone now. And more than likely, he’ll be alone after it’s all over, in death or otherwise. 

Rubbing your throat —trying your best to get rid of the tainted feeling of skin and bone from your mouth, you feel empathy rather than sympathy. An understanding of his words as you look toward him, noticing the far-off look in his eye before he blinks and travels back.

“I only showed you that to save the explanation,” he says, and whether or not it’s true you merely just nod, welcoming the silence. The tranquil hush of two people attempting to navigate the other. 

It doesn’t last long. In between, there are a few moments of background noise. The sound of echoing footsteps and muffled voices. You know it’s the others looting just as you should be, but neither of you moves to join until Astarion eventually clears his throat, signalling change. 

“Anyway, they’re all in their own worlds, coasting on the wings of optimism.” He flicks his hand around the air while rolling his eyes. “It’s disgusting and partly why I choose your company above theirs.” 

Letting yourself fall back into your usual, somewhat antagonistic rhythm, you give him a curious look. “Partly, huh?”

“Don’t get too excited,” he quips, the edge of his lip twitching into that usual grin of his. “The other part is the potential of your blood, darling.”

“Ah yes. And here I was assuming you were just following me around so that you could steal my treasure.”

Both of your eyes move back to the unbroken padlock. It’s the only thing in this room that seems to be worth either of your time and Astarion knows it. It’s why he’s been so keen on your failure. 

“You know, I could help you if you like. Show you a thing or two so that the next time this happens you don’t have to rely on me.”

It’s tempting, even if you know that you’ll be taxed to all hell. Whatever spoils you find will ultimately be cut in half and, more than likely, he’ll sweeten the deal for himself by claiming first pick. 

“What’s the price?”

He shoots you a look of offence, clutching his chest. “My dear, I’d never dare put a price on the education of thievery.”

You hold back a grin, pressing your lips together, watching the way he quickly springs into action, motioning for you to hand him your tools. When you do he begins to explain the process, showcasing all the tips and tricks against the air with careful precision. Which would be helpful if you weren’t so focused on his hands rather than his words. On the way they curl around the handles of your tools, tightening with every gesture performed. 

Astarion’s got nicer hands than most. Long and thin and surprisingly well-manicured for someone who spends most of his time in the forest or drinking the blood of unsuspecting animals. And guiltily enough staring at them so intently just reminds you of that night he drained your neck. 

You can still feel the pressure of his fingers against your head. The way they roughly cupped you like a goblet of wine. Despite the fear in that moment, you’re now able to look back at that memory almost fondly. A moment of potential weakness for you somehow became a moment of trust for him and as a result, here you were now, acting almost friendly amid a terrible situation. 

It makes you grin, prompting Astarion to stop his explanation and narrow his eyes. 

“Are you even listening?”

“Hm?”

There’s a knowing glance that befalls his face then. A transition of clarity that has his mouth opening and closing before he hands you your tools. “Might be best if we take a more hands on approach.” 

You look at him confused, letting the hooks in your hand lazily rest in your palm as you watch him hop to his knees and begin to guide you. 

“I want you to do exactly what you were doing before, alright? Use the hook to push the pins.” 

Despite your continued confusion, you follow his position by kneeling in front of the chest and popping the hook into the hole, digging around the darkened space until you feel the shift of that first pin. 

“Got it?” You spare him a glance and a nod, watching him crawl towards you, positioning his chest firmly against your back before reaching out to hold your wrists. “Now, take that other hook of yours and situate it at the base of the barrel.”

Doing exactly that, you feel his fingers slowly slip over yours, navigating you through the trials of getting that second pin to shift as the barrel turns in your grasp. At first, it’s difficult. Mostly because all you can focus on is the breath that hits the side of your face. The heat of the air that travels down your spine in nervous waves you’re almost certain he can feel. But then you’re reminded that you’ve been here before; stuck within his heated grasp. 

“That’s it. Just like that.” 

You’re practically holding your breath as you find that third pin, feeling Astarion’s hand shift you in the right direction before you lose it at the last second. Ever so gently, his chest shifts upwards against your back so that he can rest his chin on your shoulder to get a better look. A newfound weight that makes you close your eyes and release a bit of air from your nose, realizing how intimate this is. 

Somehow it feels even more personal than letting him feed off of you. Perhaps because the bloodsucking was for his own benefit, knowing Astarion, moments like that where he’s able to take rather than give mean next to nothing to him. They’re just moments of manipulation. A series of tactical steps he takes to get whatever he wants whereas this is different. This is for you. 

You’re not sure how to describe it other than an offering of trust. Maybe it’s a token of appreciation for letting him consume. Maybe it’s nothing more than a game to make you squirm beneath his grasp. Either or, it’s an experience you know you’ll be thinking of for days to come, attempting to decipher its intent.

“Once you feel that final pin I want you to ease it in gently, alright? Be delicate.” 

You offer him no response as you listen to his words. If you did, you’re certain he’d make some offhand comment that would only further the lewdness of it all, grinning like the mischievous prick he is. 

“After that, you should feel a little shift and —voilà!” 

The chest clicks open. Your breath releases in a long, much-needed stream but Astarion makes no effort to move from your frame. Instead, he continues to cling to your hands, angling his chin so that when you eventually look at him you’re practically touching noses. 

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“It’s that easy?”

Slowly but surely he slips from your frame with a nod, his hands sliding across the expanse of your sleeves, coating your skin in a wave of goosebumps as he moves to stand. “Yes, but keep it hush, hush. Wouldn’t want the others to find out, would we?”

You shake your head, a small smile creeping across your lips as you then turn towards your reward, gripping both edges of the lid before pushing it up. Inside there are only a few items. A few spell scrolls and some fabric but it’s enough to get you excited regardless, realizing that it’s yours.

“Not bad for your first go.” Peeking over your shoulder, Astarion watches as you sift through everything carefully, unrolling each scroll to read the details before looking back up and raising a brow. 

“You sure there’s no tax?” you ask, but all he does is laugh and shake his head. 

“Finders keepers, darling. As I promised.” 

#the rogue tax #baldur's gate 3 fan fic #bg3 fan fic #astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion fan fic #astarion series #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #haunted hoedown #haunted hoedown writing challenge #summer writes

[m00nlight-ramblings]

Warm Bodies

Astarion walks in on a gift you were secretly making for him.

Pairing: Astarion x GN Tav

Warnings: none really? Some fluff and teensy bit of angst if you squint hard enough.

Requested: yes

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: I know nothing about making clothes so if something is super off...I apologize lol. I do not approve of my work being copied or shared without my permission.

REMINDER: my inbox is open for requests!

As you ripped the seam from the thick, cotton top you were working on, you whistled quietly and bit your lip. It was late, and you were exhausted, but you were also in a just one more thing... type of concentration, so you decided not to fight it and to continue working.

Buttons were scattered across your lap, hastily discarded from the two other shirts you had worked on earlier in the evening. They rattled around as you squinted your eyes, making sure your handy work was good as you went. It must have been late - maybe 1 or 2 AM - so you gave yourself the hard stop after you finished taking apart this garment.

"Darling, I noticed your lamp light is still on...what are you doing in here so late?" A melodic voice slipped into your tent as the tent flap gently opened and closed just as quickly. Gasping, you turned around and immediately tried to hide your project.

Astarion stood, a hand on his hip and a smirk playing on his lips. "Oooh...what is this, sweetheart?" He stepped closer, peering down on the pile of clothes in front of you. You frantically waved your arms, trying to cover as much as your project as you could.

"Nothing! Nothing, I promise. Just...something." You cleared your throat nervously and stood, the buttons on your lap clattering to the ground. Both you and Astarion watched the buttons fall, and stared at them on the ground. At the same time, both of your heads snapped up and he was smiling.

"I caught you doing something," Astarion said, matter-of-factly. "I caught you doing something...something secret? Which makes me want to know even more."

"No you have not. I'm just...mending some clothes. To see if Gale could use any of them for enchanting." Proud of yourself, you smirked back, crossing your arms. Astarion eyed you suspiciously then finally looked behind you at the pile.

"For an...enchantment?" He echoed, causing you to nod in agreement. "Then why does it look like you have 7,000 shirts back there?" He walked towards the pile, and after a quick examination, he picked up the shirt you were working on when he entered, "Gods, how many do you actually have? Is 75% of your Bag of Holding filled with pants?"

"I'm trying to help, and you're getting in the way! Go away!" You teased, pulling on his sleep shirt to get him to step back. He swatted you away gently and kept looking, gingerly picking pieces of clothes up. Once he started to unfurl the pile, knowledge dawned on him.

"...it's a blanket," He said simply, quietly. He started to spread the blanket out, holding it in his hands as if it was made of the world's most precious fabric, "It's beautiful. You did this?" He looked at you, his face unreadable.

You nodded, smiling at him. You stepped around him to investigate the unfinished work, "I had the idea at the Tiefling party to start, since you told me that night in camp you got cold with what you had. So I just...kept the clothes we all no longer needed and thought it would be a nice...surprise?" Suddenly embarrassed, you blushed and pursed your lips together, looking to the ground.

Astarion said nothing, but continued to rub the blanket between his fingers. The contrasting fabrics of the velvet cape and wool robe you stitched together made a soft rubbing noise as he moved his hand. You felt your heart speed up a tiny bit - Astarion was usually never quiet, so you didn't quite understand what was going on.

"...is that okay?" You finally asked, leaning down to his level. He swallowed and slowly looked at you, bringing the blanket to his chest.

"And it's for me?" He asked. You nodded again.

"Do you...like it? Is it...too much?" You sighed heavily and stared at the blanket again, "Gods, it's too much, yeah? I knew it would be. Just because you said you were cold doesn't mean that I needed to make you a blanket-"

"I love it." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. You stopped and looked at him, a smile erupting on your face.

"You do? You don't think it's....too much that I'm making this for you? You don't think I'm...weird?"

"Oh no, you're definitely weird," He said, gently putting the blanket back in its original spot, "I'm not negating that. But...you're also very kind," He looked at you and took your hand, standing you both up. For a moment, he held on to your hand before he hesitantly dropped it, "This is a wonderful gift. Thank you...I..." He sighed, shaking his head, "I have never been given a gift like this...at least, not in a long time. It means much more to me than you could know, that you did this for me."

You blushed, lacing your fingers between both of your own hands. "That...makes me glad. I'm glad you like it. It's not ready yet...a few more shirts should do the trick, though!" I gestured to the shirt I was working on earlier, "It'll be ready probably...in a few days? You'll definitely have it before we reach Baldur's Gate."

Astarion chuckled and nodded, "That is quite alright. Take all the time you need...I didn't expect a gift like this, so you are well within your right to take as much time as you want," Suddenly, he smiled, "Though I'm not an expert, I have made my fair shares of enhancements and such to clothing...the blanket is beautiful work. You should be proud."

You smile and shrug, searching his eyes. Very rarely do you ever get to see Astarion in a vulnerable mood, one where he doesn't mask himself with jokes and charm. You like it, and you feel special knowing that he doesn't have these types of conversations with everyone.

"Besides, it'll help Wyll get off my back whenever he rips his shirt or whatever," Astarion finally broke the air with a flick of the wrist, waxing annoyed about Wyll.

You laughed and rolled your eyes, allowing Astarion the safe space, but also allowing him to step back when it all got to be too much.

"Well...I'm glad you like it," You finally said, "I'll be happy to give it to you when it's finished. And I'm sure I'll also appreciate the extra space in my Bag of Holding."

Astarion bent down to pick up the scattered buttons, handing them off to you. He smirked and walked towards your tent entrance to leave. Suddenly he turned around and stared.

You looked up from the buttons and saw his face was soft, unusual. It almost seemed like Astarion didn't know what he was feeling, either. He waited a moment before he spoke.

"I meant it when I said I have never received a gift like this before. This means-" He stopped himself, swallowing audibly. He cleared his throat before he continued, "Well, this means a great deal to me, that you did this. You are a kind person..." His eyes were shimmering as he looked at you, leaving you a bit breathless.

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to forget your kindness," He finally said, "Thank you...again." All you could do was smile and nod. Was he crying?

Astarion undid the laces on your tent flaps quickly and exited, closing it tightly behind him. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, and placing the buttons on your side table, you sat on your bed, looking at the blanket. You replayed the conversation with Astarion in your head, and you started to smile. How wonderful was it, that you could effect someone so greatly with just a simple, kind gesture? You started to fold the blanket and gather the materials, placing them in a more organized pile in the corner of your tent.

It was time to sleep now, and even though you were completely awake 20 minutes ago, you suddenly felt hazy and sleepy, like you were in a dream.

As you drifted off to sleep that night, Astarion lied awake in his own, staring at the ceiling of his tent. He smiled and felt his own, thin blanket on top of his body. This entire adventure, he was disappointed in his sleeping accessories - blanket in particular, nothing ever made him feel safe, or warm. Though he longed from something heartier and more luxurious, he would never admit it out loud.

And yet, you somehow knew that a new blanket was something he wanted...possibly, even needed. Soon, he wouldn't have to worry about his shivering waking him up in the middle of the night.

That night, Astarion fell asleep, and though he was sure it was just a trick of the mind, he felt warmer than he had in weeks.

------

Give it up for our favorite sassy tailor, Astarion everyone. I love Astarion fics where there isn't romance/sex involved...this man needs more FRIENDS.

REMINDER: My inbox is open for requests!

#astarion bg3 #bg3 #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion #astarion headcanon #astarion fan fiction #astarion fanfic #astarion x tav #astarion x you

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.” 

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours. 

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you. 

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding. 

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back. 

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.” 

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.” 

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding. 

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.” 

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi. 

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life. 

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi. 

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners. 

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist. 

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?” 

“I’m sure, you dork.” 

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house. 

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days. 

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.” 

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans. 

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin. 

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror. 

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car. 

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more. 

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there. 

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors. 

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house. 

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-” 

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you. 

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder. 

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!” 

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard. 

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived. 

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips. 

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice. 

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear. 

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve. 

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held. 

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.” 

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other. 

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner. 

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown. 

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste. 

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips. 

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you. 

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth. 

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.” 

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?” 

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh. 

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.” 

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg. 

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house. 

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day. 

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you. 

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?” 

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair. 

“Not soon enough, apparently…” 

“Murphy…” 

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.” 

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.” 

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him. 

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count. 

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played. 

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole. 

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.” 

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round. 

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball. 

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question. 

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion. 

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together. 

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.   

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine. 

Javi loved you. 

Javi cared about you. 

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want. 

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met. 

Or was he? 

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed. 

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve. 

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face. 

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag. 

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.  

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt. 

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction. 

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse. 

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you? 

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi. 

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return. 

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?” 

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?” 

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.” 

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second. 

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on. 

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case. 

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate. 

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant. 

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel. 

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf. 

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?” 

“No, I told you, it’s fine.” 

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-” 

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.  

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying. 

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this? 

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess. 

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio. 

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction. 

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp. 

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story. 

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment. 

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.” 

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi. 

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi. 

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe. 

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.  

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground. 

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince. 

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug. 

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself. 

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out. 

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?” 

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug. 

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well. 

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-” 

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath. 

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.” 

“Jav, wait, I-” 

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became. 

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot. 

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi. 

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies. 

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him. 

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could. 

“I don’t know if we should get married.” 

Fuck. 

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-” 

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?” 

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing. 

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap. 

“You shouldn’t love me.” 

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth. 

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.” 

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank. 

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-” 

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.” 

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you. 

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt. 

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.” 

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence. 

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes. 

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.” 

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him. 

“Osita, I-” 

“Promise me.” 

“Promise you what?” 

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love. 

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved. 

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth. 

“I promise.” 

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else. 

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it. 

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt. 

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too. 

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island. 

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh. 

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life. 

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.” 

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved. 

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his. 

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin. 

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs. 

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness. 

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress. 

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him. 

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat. 

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours. 

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.” 

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp. 

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips. 

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.” 

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke. 

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-” 

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head. 

“Wait, how did you-” 

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him. 

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes. 

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh. 

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones. 

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t. 

It was also the kind of kiss  where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it. 

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket. 

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!” 

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles. 

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity. 

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi. 

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face. 

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense. 

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.” 

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.” 

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much. 

Taglist:

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[vanwritesfan-fiction]

I literally love your work you’re so talented I can reread it for days and never get bored. Can you write some fluff where maybe reader and Travis have been super busy and they grow a little distant and fight about it and then Travis realizes he messed up when one of his kids asks if he’s moving out or something and he makes it up to reader

All Of Me

"Laylah is finally asleep." Travis whispered as he slipped through the open crack of your bedroom door, quietly closing it behind him. He threw himself down on his side of the bed, closing his eyes as he let out a sigh of pure exhaustion.

"Thanks." You gave him a small smile, continuing your nighttime routine from your side of the bed. You felt Travis' fingers graze down the path of your spine, making you tense up. You rolled your shoulders back, still feeling a tinge of annoyance from earlier tonight. You had gotten into it with Travis over some careless scheduling conflicts on his part, and while you agreed to drop it so you weren't fighting in front of the kids, you'd be lying if you said you weren't still upset.

Travis retracted his arm at your rejection. "I thought we were okay." He hated fighting with you, and would do anything to avoid it. It made him sick to think you were upset, especially at his hand. You shut your nightstand drawer harder than you intended before turning off the light. "If by okay, you mean we're not fighting with each other. Then yes, we're okay, but I'm still pissed with you, Travis." You shifted to lay down in bed, turning your back to him.

"Baby, I said I was sorry. I wasn't thinking when I said yes to the appearance. I would have never agreed to it if I knew it was the same day as Savannah's party." Travis blinked into the darkness, resisting the urge to reach out to you again. He knew it would only set you off.

"Don't you get tired of apologizing? I know you didn't do it on purpose, but it feels like sometimes we're an afterthought to you." You bundled the comforter in your fist, feeling yourself grow angry all over again. The fight was rearing its ugly head again whether you wanted it to or not.

"That's not fair." Travis shot out, his voice louder than he anticipated, emotion building in his chest. "I'm always thinking about you and the kids. But I'm not gonna pretend like the work I do isn't important. Sometimes it has to come first. I have fans, people who count on me." He groaned, realizing that was not what he wanted to say, but it was too late to take it back. The damage was done.

"If you wanna go, Travis, go. No one is stopping you, but you can explain to your daughter while you won't be at her birthday party. I'm done covering for you." All of the consoling you had to do, tears streaming down your kids faces when Travis couldn't make it to a little league game or a school performance was wearing on you too. You listened briefly to make sure that none of the kids had woken due to your arguing. Realizing the house was still calm, you allowed yourself to let out a deep breath. "I'm done talking about this."

****

The next morning, Travis dropped the kids off at school before heading to practice for the day. The girls were in the back, singing their favorite Disney songs, and usually Alex would vocalize his objections, begging Travis to change to another song, but today, he was noticeably quiet, leaning his head against the window. Travis noticed, but didn't want to push the issue. Maybe Alex was just more tired than usual this morning.

"Daddy?" Savannah called out to Travis. "Yes, baby?" He glanced at her through the rear view mirror. "For my party on Saturday, can I have a strawberry cake?" She eagerly clasped her hands together. "Wait, is it your birthday on Saturday? I had no idea!" Travis chuckled, messing with her. "Daddy! I'm turning 5!" She held up five fingers. "Well then, we need to get you a strawberry cake to celebrate." Both Savannah and Laylah cheered. Travis looked at Alex, who was still tight lipped, his gaze focused on the scenery out the window.

"Alex, what's going on, bud?" Travis had dropped the girls off at preschool, leaving him alone with his eldest in the car while he headed to the elementary school.

"Nothing", Alex grumbled out, pulling at his sweatshirt. "Did something happen at school? You know you can tell me." Alex shook his head no, not offering Travis anything else to go on. "Are you excited for your game tomorrow? Mama says you've been hitting well. Can't wait to see you play."

"Are you coming to my games still?" Alex's face perked up, but riddled with anxiety instead of happiness. "Of course, Bubba. Why wouldn't I?" Alex shifted in his seat uncomfortably, flexing his fingers. It was something he did when he was nervous, a trait he had gotten from Travis. "What's going on, Bub?"

"I heard you and mama fighting last night, and she said that you could go if you wanted to. Are you moving out? I don't want you to leave dad." Alex had a very basic understanding of divorce, one of his friends' parents were going through a nasty separation, and Travis could only imagine what was going through his head after hearing the two of you fighting. He found a spot to pull over on the side of the road.

"Alex, bud", Travis shifted in his seat to look back at his son. Alex's cheeks were stained with tears, his sweatshirt sleeve damp. "Your mama and I argued about something silly that Dad did, okay? But I would never leave you or your sisters or your mama. I love you all too much. You have nothing to worry about, and I'm sorry if we scared you." Travis had been so busy trying to defend himself, that he didn't even realize all of this could have been avoided if he had just put his family first. He knew he owed you an apology, and needed to make this up to you. "I just need to figure out a way to get your mom to forgive me."

"Dad, maybe you can get her some flowers. She always likes when we get her flowers for Mama's Day." Alex suggested, making Travis chuckle. "I don't think flowers will be enough this time, Bubba."

****

After practice, Travis found you in your office. You were confirming some last minute details for Savannah's party, stress weighing your shoulders down. You were finding it difficult to focus on anything but your fight with your husband, guilt for trying to push him out making your stomach turn.

"Hey", you turned to see Travis leaning in the doorway, his hair still wet from his shower. You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding in. Even when you were fighting with Travis, he was still your calm and peace. It didn't feel right not touching and holding him. You were so quick to your feet, throwing your arms around Travis' neck, it startled him, making him stumble back. He held you impossibly close, burying his face in the crook of your neck. "I hate fighting with you", Travis mumbled against your skin.

You pulled away, cupping his face in your hands. "I'm sorry, I never should have pushed you. I know you wouldn't miss anything on purpose. Its just, sometimes its really hard doing this without you."

"C'mere." Travis led you back to your chair, pulling another over to you so you were sitting close. He grabbed at your hands, gently massaging at your fingers. "I'm so sorry, baby. I never should have made you second guess how important you were to me. You and the kids, they come before anything else. Every time."

You gave him a soft smile. "I never should have said that, T. I don't think that at all. I can't imagine the pressure on you to be present here and in football. It can't be easy. I need- no I want to be more understanding of how much you have to do."

"About that. I canceled all of my appearances. I told my team that if its not absolutely necessary, I don't want to commit to anything. At least until you feel supported again, however long that is." Travis pulled you into his lap, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

"I don't want you to do that Travis. That's not fair to you or your career." You appreciated the gesture, but it seemed so extreme, especially after a silly fight.

"You deserve all of me, baby. Not half, or only sometimes. I never want to make you feel like you have to compromise on my attention." Travis felt no remorse at taking a step back from his commitments. It felt like the right thing to do. You opened your mouth to object, but Travis distracted you with a kiss, gentle as your lips met.

"Did you get the strawberry cake for Nannah?" Travis questioned, barely broken away from the kiss. "Strawberry? What strawberry cake?" Travis backed away, his eyes wide. You enjoyed his panic for a second before giggling. "Just kidding. Everything is taken care of." You lifted off of his lap, pulling him to his feet.

"Good." He gave you a few more pecks, a smile in his tone." You almost gave me a heart attack. I can't let my little girl down on her birthday."

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#travis kelce #traviskelce #travis kelce x reader #travis kelce fanfiction #travis kelce fanfic #travis kelce imagine #nfl imagine #nfl fanfic #nfl fanfiction

[eddiesxangel]

Okay last request of the year.

Eddie kissing reader on new year’s eve and it’s her first kiss💞

The Stroke of Midnight | Eddie Munson x Reader

Wc: 942 cw: alcohol and fluff

Here you were, New Year’s Eve, at Steve’s. Single. Surrounded by couples. Everyone had been paired off. Every. Single. Person.

Robin and Vicky. Steve and Nancy. Hell, even all the kids had their little relationships. And here you were, an hour until midnight, and you would be kissing Mr. Snuffles, the family cat, at this point.

The party was fun, but the reality of the fact that you hadn’t ever been kissed by somebody, let alone getting a New Year’s Eve kiss, was settling in.

Eddie, your only chronically single friend, was supposed to be here. However, it’s now 11:26pm, and he was nowhere to be found. Honestly, you were a tiny bit relieved he wasn’t here. You had liked Eddie. Ok, liked is an understatement. You had a big, fat, massive crush on Eddie Munson.

Eddie was never one of your super close friends. You had been closer with the girls, but he was still a friend. Your group was together whenever you all had the time. You tried at least a few times a week to get together. Eddie was always sweet on you. He was a natural flirt; you were not used to that kind of attention. He makes you flustered in the best way possible.

So when he didn’t show, you were disappointed, but since he was the only singleton out of the group, you felt anxious about him being here...Would you have to kiss? Would he even want to kiss you? Would you be bad at it? What if you sucked at kissing, and he told everybody! What if you asked him, and he rejected you? That would be mortifying!

As you got lost in your thoughts and the sparkling wine you had been downing all night, you didn't hear the door open or anyone or greet the man who had entered the room.

"Hey, sweetheart, sorry I'm late." You snapped out of your thoughts, and standing before you was Eddie. Your stomach was in knots.

"Edde! Hi!" You said a little too enthusiastically.

"Woah, how many of these have we had tonight?" He asks, taking your champagne flute from your hand and sipping it a bit. If it was anyone else that took your drink, you'd be pissed. But it was Eddie. He didn't mean anything by it.

"Only a few." You turn into yourself shyly.

"Well, looks like I need to catch up." He winked. "Care to join me in the kitchen?" He gestured his arm out for you to talk in front of him.

"Okay," You smiled.

You check the TV for the NYE countdown. Seven minutes until midnight.

"I didn't think you were going to come."

"And not be with my favourite person to start the new year? Nah. Have to start off '88 right." He smiled before turning to open the fringe, and you swore your heart stopped.

"Oh," your chest and face immediately felt flush. Thankfully, the door was blocking you, so Eddie couldn't see the look of shock in your eyes. "So, uh... what took you so long?" you twiddled with your glass.

"Oh, I had to finish up some last-minute deals... you know. Nothing says Happy New Year like being high." he says before taking a shot.

"Woah, Munson starting off strong," Steve says as he enters the kitchen.

"Gotta catch up with this one; can't be the only sober guy at the party," Eddie pointed to you jokingly.

You just rolled your eyes as you topped off your glass for the cheers.

Steve grabbed his drink and then beckoned the both of you into the living room with the TV countdown. There were only a few minutes left until midnight.

Eddie took your hand and led you into the crowded room. You noticed everyone was paired off, sitting beside one another. As you scanned the area, you noticed that most of the seats were taken. However, Eddie confidently guided you towards a single high-backed leather chair, which could only accommodate one person. He then patted his lap warmly with a smile, gesturing for you to sit with him.

" I uh- you sure?" you stuttered.

"Yes, sweetheart, only a few more seconds until midnight; how am I supposed to kiss you from all the way up there?"

You threw all caution to the wind while thanking your lucky stars you didn't drink too much to be an absolute disaster.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... the others chanted as you sat down in Eddie's lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulder so you could face him.

Six.

You shuffled to get comfortable.

Five.

Eddie wrapped a sroong hand around your waist.

Four.

You looked into Eddie's eyes and took a deep breath.

Three.

Eddie smiled, and you smiled back. It was clear to the others around you that both of you were nervous.

Two.

Eddie nudged your nose with his own nose.

One.

Fireworks! You closed your eyes, and Eddie leaned in. His lips were a little chapped from winter but still soft and plush. He worked his mouth with yours as his hand came up to cup your left cheek. It was so natural, so easy, you couldn't believe how simple kissing was. You'd always thought it would be complicated. Or maybe it's due to the fact that Eddie was really good at it. You had nothing to compare it to, but he was really good at it.

Happy New Year! You heard the others cheer, breaking you out of your thoughts, and Eddie pulled away.

"Happy New Year, Sweets." He tilted your chin up to him.

“Happy New Year, Eddie." you whispered before he kissed you again.

#eddie munson x reader #Eddie Munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #Eddie Munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson x female reader

[inkskinned]

being single in your late 20s & 30s is so fucking wild bc on one hand it's fun and flirty and you skip a lot of the bullshit because you know what you're looking for and you know how to spot a red flag from a mile away and you've learned to set boundaries and communicate your own and be upfront about your needs and most of the time they've learned it too - and if they haven't, you can tell after the second date that they haven't been to therapy

and every time you feel lonely and dried up and an ugly husk there's a whole community of other single people out there who are just as unhinged and want to hang out with you because they just need a plus-one like you do and you get introduced to like. people in their 60's and 70's and 80's who are all like - nope, single life is my choice and i love it and you feel warm and seen and like okay, it's not the end of the world if i'm not seeing anybody. and yeah it's hard and sometimes exhausting but part of getting better is that you do make like so many friends and do so much wild shit because you made a promise to yourself that you'll actually get out there and try shit and actually work on your hobbies and skills and friendships because to be honest in relationships you wouldn't push yourself this hard and it's actually been super rewarding because it came from you and from what you wanted

and yes of course the apps such and dating in general can suck but after one of the bad dates you go back to your apartment and call up those friends you made and make jokes about what the other person said and it rolls right off your back and you have plans for self-care in the morning. you prioritize yourself and your happiness and you really actually don't mind it, a lot of the time, unless it's like at a wedding and they're doing one of those couples-related things. most of the time it's not even a problem except when you can tell people pity you for it and you're like - i'm actually fine, babe, even without a partner i am still, like a person and yes of course it would be nice to have a partner but you have established yourself as a person and as an adult in a way that feels really hard-won and well-earned and you're protective of that and of the life you're living and honestly you're pretty happy, all things considered

and at the same time you do have to tell your father that you are single on purpose right now and that, yes, believe it or not, they're letting women be single past the age of 30 these days without burning us at the stake (can you imagine!) and you have to kind of sit pretty while people make jokes about how you're losing your marriageability and you're like, a little too old for the bars and the clubs and whatever but you do still want to go out dancing and it's like. the other day you went to a board game party and had the time of your life and then your mom calls you and says she's worried because what if you never find the one, shouldn't you be spending more time looking? and you're like - trying to balance this place where you're actually, like, perfectly okay? except you hear this thing over and over and over - oh no. that's so sad. i hope you find your lover. and you weren't really upset about it until someone suggested that you're running out of time and until someone said that it's so miserable that you live without someone to kiss and you're like why can't anyone believe that i'm genuinely happy. like. joy. like. bliss.

and then they look at you and they look at their partner and the look passes between them that says - poor thing. you're just lying to yourself about this.

#writeblr #warm up #i sat down to write something that was literally 3 sentences long oops #the alternative text post was just - #sitting my 60 yr old father down and telling him i'm single on purpose and that they're letting women actually live without a husband #(and then a picture of samson wrestling the lion) #> would have been funnier #> unfortunately turns out i have feelings

[galactic-rhea]

WDYM Anakin is Luke and Leia's dad

I dunno if this post will reach the Star Wars fandom but I hope it does because I'm sure you all will get a good laugh at me.

As of recent I have developed a good hiperfixation for Star Wars, the thing is I knew nothing. NOTHING about Star Wars besides the fact it had aliens and...a war...in space? And funny swords. And main character is Luke or something, I spent over 20 years ignoring anything about Star Wars and somehow missing most references out there.

And recently, literally less than a month ago I saw a gif and said to my partner "oh this guy this guy looks cool, this gif looks nice" and he said "Oh well, he's a good character." And it all developed into me watching Clone Wars, the animated series you know and...and I was kinda blown away, on my opinion the show IS GREAT. And I love every character and their interactions, I love how much they focus on side characters, and they all seem very well written. I got hiperfixated really fast and saw Anakin and I was like "Omg, babygirl. He's a blorbo now."

And because of the show, this was super unexpected, but somehow I also got, really got, into the ship with Padmé because omg, cool woman. Literal happy squeaky noises of someone who was in a bad state and needed some good ol' distraction and comfort.

Now, like I said I knew nothing about Star Wars as a whole. And I still haven't watched the movies, besides the ocassional gif?

So imagine my shock, my surprise, my...bewilderment when I realized.

"Wait a minute, LUKE IS ANAKIN'S SON?! HOLY-"

Ladies, gentleman, and others, I think I came very late to this party and I don't even know how it took me so long.

Not only that, but because of this sudden love for the series, I went to my friends circle like "BESTIE, GUESS WHAT, I HAVE A NEW BLROBO AND A NEW FAV SHIP AND EEEP"

And my friends are like "omg that's amazing, what is it?"

I tell them, and of course they all know these characters and they all react like they know this very bad secret fact and I got told several times already "Please, don't watch the episodes 2 and 3 alone, it will hurt."

I feel like blissfully walking among rainbows and blue skies while everyone else know that my future is doomed. Somehow.

(Uncomfortable silence)

Not only that, but then I spent a whole deal of time thinking "Where the heck I have seen these guys" cus there was some fmailiarity I couldn't just point out and then one day I woke up, brushed my teeth and of all sudden I realized and it was such a shock.

Do you know how SURREAL is to get very into a character, and into a ship, and then realize they're the same from that super widespread meme that has been around for who knows how much time?

I swear I thought that meme was from some old medieval fantasy movies or something.

But alas, Star Wars now is EVERYWHERE. People do references to Star Wars ALL THE TIME and it's just now I'm catching them.

I got spoilers. From a meme. In a youtube review that had nothing to do with Star Wars hah. Everything is a spoiler, the world is an apparent spoiler. Now I'm here, trying to avoid spoilers from something everyone seems to know, even my family knows. It's so surreal and I wouldn't have it any other way 😂

Anyways, if you read until here, know that a wild ride still waits me, cuz I'm only starting Season 3 of Clone Wars and I don't plan to watch the movies until I finish the series.

And yes, I made this blog just to ramble freely about SW and draw stuff because it sparked my inspiration after a long art block.

Have this doodle I drew after watching the two first episodes, my offering for you reaching this far.

Note: Wouldn't Anakin and Padmé's ship name be Animé? Cuz that's hilarious.

#rambling #star wars #star wars fandom #anakin skywalker #darth vader #the clone wars #sw tcw #tcw #tcw fanart #clone wars

[indouloureux]

Heyyy can u possibly write a fic about being Eddie’s girl friend and going to a party with him and he gets super wasted and gets all touchy feely to his gf

thank you for requesting! <3

one of the things you love about eddie is that no matter what his state is — whether it be sober or drunk on cheap beer — is that he's still clingy.

good clingy. it's amusing to see him with vermillion cheeks and a silly, drunken smile with heavy eyes to be looking down at you, bending over so that he'd shift his entire weight onto you.

which was exactly what he's doing right now.

nancy laughs lightly when eddie yells your name, tripping over his feet when he nears you. your heart pounds, chest fluttering with a bemused sensation at the sight of your boyfriend.

he opens his arms, and finally lets his feet stumble over each other as he topples over you.

"baby," eddie mumbles in your hair, rich scent of liquor and cheap perfume stinging your nose. "baby baby baby baby,"

"hi," you hook your arms beneath his, pulling him closer to you and you pat down his hair, nancy giving you an entertained look. "hey, eds. where've you been, huh?"

"'bout to go sk- skinny dipping," he whispers in your ear. "big boy dared me to take my clothes off and go skinny dipping with him. and- and i'm here to take you with me."

had you not been surrounded by any other young adults in this party (minus nancy, robin, and steve) you would have said yes. but you're about 90% sure the cops are gonna be called in less than an hour by the neighbors and you wouldn't be so pleased getting handcuffed naked. neither will your parents.

"i'd love to, but it's getting late—"

"no!" he whines, trapping you in with a bear hug. your cheek smushes on his chest, judas priest print cold against your skin; eddie rests his head on top of yours, pouting deeply, eyes watering and suddenly he sniffles. "don't go. don't wanna go. wanna- wan- wanna go with you,"

"you are going with me," you tilt your head up, placing your chin on his chest, grasping at his shirt. eddie lazily runs his fingers through your hair, snorting absentmindedly at how soft it is. "we just gotta go home."

"now?" he mumbles, wrinkling his nose. "but i wanna see steve naked!"

"we'll see him naked next time,"

"but i wanna see you naked," his pouty expression shifts, smirking drunkenly when his hand comes down to cheekily grasp at your ass. you gasp, looking behind you to see nancy laughing. "let me fuck you in that pool,"

you adjust the lapels of his leather jacket, brushing the hair out of his face with a flushed face. eddie leans close to your cheek, kissing the inside of your palm. "you can see me naked when we get home and shower," you tell him. "and you can fuck me tomorrow,"

he whines again like a petulant child not getting what he wants, his feet stomping on the ground as he shakes you by your waist. "why tomorrow?!"

"because you're drunk!"

"but drunk eddie says yes!" he almost yells. "who cares about what sober eddie thinks? he's a pussy. fucking prune."

"hey," it's your turn to pout. "don't talk about sober eddie like that. he is you, y'know? just– knows our boundaries more than you do."

"no," he shakes his head. "can we go home now?"

only because he wants to see you naked than to get some rest. but you know the second he sees his bed he's out like a light. nancy gives you a good luck pat on your shoulder and a goodbye nod to eddie, before you look back at your boyfriend. "yeah, babe, we can go home now,"

#eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fic #eddie munson #stranger things x reader #stranger things

[munsonsprincess11111]

Hi! Can I request Eddie x reader and she's his passenger princess?

All of her friends tell her to learn how to drive and get a license but Eddie's okay with driving her and he always tells her it's not a problem.

One time at a party Eddie's super drunk and he obviously can't drive back home. He's extremely surprised because she drove them to his trailer.

It turned out she has a driving license but she's scared to drive and only agree when streets are empty.

Even though drunken Eddie ask her to forget that she can drive because he likes spending time with her.

Thank you for your time 💜

Passenger princess...

Eddie x reader

Summary: this is my first request and omg. That's the Summary I actually love this.

"Y/n you really need your own license you can't keep getting Eddie to come get you from everywhere what is he says no?" Robin says sat on a bench outside the mall with you. She's been trying to convince you for ages to get your license but you refuse.

"HE won't say no ok he may be a tad late but he loves me." You say fiddling with your bag.

"What if he's busy and can't come get you? Then what?"Robin retaliates.

Before you can answer Eddie pulls into the parking lot pulling up next to you.

"Hey sweetheart get in." HE says leaning across to open your door.

"Gotta go Rob see you later." You say getting in Eddie's van. Robin shakes her head and walked back into the mall to go back to work.

You buckle your seat belt and sit back in Eddie's passenger seat before he drives out if the mall parking lot. "How was the mall." HE askes sliding his cigarettes out of his pocket slipping one between his lips before lighting it.

"Was fun same old stuff really got a new dress for that party tonight though." You say putting your feet on his dash he looks at you out the corner of his eye smirking and rolling his eyes.

"Do we have to go to that." HE asks, blowing the smoke out the window.

"Yes you are dealing there remember?" You say taking the cigarette out of his mouth throwing it out of your window.

"OH yeah." Eddie says leaning back in his chair.

"Hey can I ask you something?" You ask playing with your hands. Eddie's lighting another cigarette.

"Course you can princess." HE answers sliding a hand onto your thigh. You take his hand and fiddle with his rings.

"DO you mind driving me places. Like does it bother you?" You say Finally looking at Eddie.

"Nope not all sweetheart. Ask me that question as many times as you'd like the answer will always be the same. Your my passenger princess. Wouldn't want it any other way." HE says being your hand to his and kissing it.

You smiles at his response and nod. "Love you." You mumble.

"Love you more." Eddie smiles back around his cigarette.

-

You and Eddie arrived at the party about 3 hours ago. He told you about an hour ago he was gonna go talk to Steve and Jonathan while you was talking to Nancy and Robin. "You should just get your license. I have mine, and Jonathan drives me places. it's just like an independence thing, you know?" Nancy says with Robin nodding next to her.

"Thanks girls but I'm OK. I'm gonna go find Eddie." You say crossing your arms over your chest walking into the kitchen where you last saw Eddie. To your luck that's exactly where he is. But just from one look at him you can tell he's sloshed.

"Hey hot stuff!" He yells wrapping an arm over your shoulders. "God Eddie your drunk." You say looking him in the eyes. He frowns ans shakes his curls.

"No babe I'm just a lil tipsy." HE says patting your head. You shake your head and grab his hand dragging him outside the house. "Give me your keys." You say putting a hand out. He looks at you eyebrows furrowed. "Keys." You say again. He reaches into his denim pocket and gives you the keys. You nod walking over to the van Eddie's hand in yours.

-

"Your telling me you could drive this whole time." HE says starring at you from the passenger seat of the van.

"Yes Eddie." You says concentrating on the road.

"Wha- why didn't you tell me?" HE askes still very confused.

You look over at your drunk boyfriend for a brief second before letting out a sigh. "Cause I hate driving. I don't like it cause the roads are busy and it just stresses me out. You drive me everywhere anyway and I didn't wanna tell you I could drive and then suddenly I have to drive I just hate it." You say turning into thr trailer park.

Eddie's looking at you curiously before he speaks. "Well can you just totally forget how to drive cause I looooooooove driving you around. And the fact you feel safe enough to let me drive you around is an honour baby." HE says. You pull up at his trailer and take the keys out of the ignition handing them back to him.

He kisses you sweetly. You help Eddie out of the van and into the trailer before he falls straight into bed and into dream land.

-

You wake up when you hear Eddie run out of his bedroom straight to the bathroom. You wonder in behind him to see him throwing up. As obvious as it was, it was gonna happen. You still felt bad for him. You held his hair as he threw up all the booze from last night.

He sat against the sink rubbing his eyebrows. "I meant what I said last night by the way." HE says finally looking at you. You look at him confused as you hand him a pill and water.

"I don't care if you can drive. I drive you everywhere." HE smiles before taking the pill and smiling at you goofily. You let out a giggle. "Trust me you can drive me everywhere I won't fight you on that. I love you." You say sitting next to him.

He drops his head onto your shoulder holding your hand. "I love you too."

#eddie m #eddie munson thoughts #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie smut #eddie x reader #eddie x you #rockstar eddie munson #eddie my beloved #eddie stranger things

[elliesmistress]

Here are some loser!Ellie hc's, my imagination about how Ellie "coming out to Joel" and just her in general.

Warnings: swearing, drug usage (weed) Ellie is in high school (but in her final year so she's 18), no use of y/n, suggestive themes (kissing and cuddling AHHH 🤭🤭🤭), Ellie bottoms! 😨😨

♡ Loser!Ellie who met you during band practice at school, she was tuning her guitar and you came up to her and Dina .

"hey, is anyone using this drum kit?" Your tone was so sweet and my god did Ellie fold, she was just stuck, she couldn't say anything and Dina laughed at her. "No one's using it hon, you can use it" and when you played, my fucking god was Ellie shocked- she never thought someone so innocent looking would play so fucking good.

♡ Loser!Ellie who DEFINITELY offered to give you guitar lessons just so she could get closer to you and to give you lessons-

"hey, so I was just wondering if you wanted to come to mine sometime?" You ask Ellie and she freezes, she can't believe you've just asked her that and she agrees and that's how you guys started dating

♡ Loser!Ellie who definitely NEVER tells Joel about you two dating but he's not dumb

♡ Loser!Ellie who whenever she gets back from school and Joel would ask about her day, she would go ON AND ON about you, like will NOT shut up about you. "That's nice kiddo, do you maybe wanna tell me what you did today?"

♡ Loser!Ellie 100% denies being gay, it's so obvious tho, like. She's got her Calvin Klein boxers all over her room, the way she talks about you, the way she gets all nervous whenever you come over for a "sleepover" (it was really a sleepover date) she CANNOT stop blushing when you're around her-

♡ Loser!Ellie who taught you how to rip a fat cone from a bong . "Yeah so like you kinda just" she put the bong to her mouth, using the lighter she blows in and breathes in for a decent 20 seconds before blowing out, let's just say you both hot boxed the room. Thank fuck Joel wasn't home.

♡ Loser!Ellie who 100% got you stoned for the first time (at Joel's house) and you called her "Els" for the first time and got SUPER tense and nervous, blushing like a little tomato <33

♡ Loser!Ellie who definitely gets stoned with you and plays games like Minecraft, TWD (the game), horizon zero dawn.

♡ Loser!Ellie who refused to get up and pee when you were falling asleep on her shoulder, like this bitch was BUSTING but nope, can't move because you were falling asleep.

♡ Loser!Ellie who went downstairs shit faced stoned (eyes red, puffy eyes, very noticeable) because you were hungry and wanted a snack, who was "creeping" down the stairs and went to the pantry only for Joel to scare the shit out of her

"Ellie what are you doing?" She fucking screamed, dropping the chips "Joel?! What the fuck?"

"Go to bed kiddo it's late"

♡ Loser!Elliewho's a bottom, sorry I don't care about what y'all say, she's a bottom- your on her chest, she's hugging you closer to her and your planting little kisses on her collar bone. Once you both are asleep, Joel just knocks at the door and slightly opens it to make sure you guys are ok and he smiles when he sees you guys cuddling.

♡ Loser!Ellie who's 100% the little spoon, she wants to be all big and tough but as soon as you offer her "tough guy personality" immediately dies "do you want me to spoon you?" You offer and she frantically nods "yes, yes yes pleaseeeeeee"

♡ Loser!Ellie who falls asleep on your chest watching a super serious romance, comedy movie

♡ Loser!Ellie definitely listens to Rage against the machine, absolutely loves that fucking band, but she also likes chase Atlantic.

♡ Loser!Ellie who is at a party with you and decides she can handle 5 shots (she can barely handle 2) so you have to drag her into the house with Joel laughing his ass off and she's just drunk and mumbling stupid shit "No! I'm not wasted you are!" Pointing at you and giggling like a little kid.

♡ Loser!Ellie who definitely walks out of her room with the small hickey's you gave her (didn't want Joel to see) but he saw and brought it up making her blush because you were next to her-

♡ Loser!Ellie who's doing the dishes and you get home from work and run over to her and hug her from behind, kissing her gently on her shoulder and her giggling like a mad man- slightly pushing you off "babeeee, I'm doing the dishes!"

♡ Loser!Ellie who doesn't let you pay for food, ANY FOOD! If you guys are high and watching something and you do "babe? Can we get some uber eats?" She grabs her phone, you get what you want and go "here's my card" and she shushes you and pays with her card.

♡ Loser!Ellie definitely gets mad when you don't offer her to shower with you, you get home from work all sweaty and disgusting and she rushes over to you and hugs you-

"ewww, ellieeee!" You shriek "I'm all yucky get off" and she simply goes "missed you sm"

"okay well I gotta go shower so" and she lets go and gives you puppy dog eyes "without me?" Her voice is soft and sad, you giggle. Ofc not, go get the towels.

♡ Loser!Ellie who is at dinner with Joel and Joel doesn't know how to bring it up but he just goes for it.

"Soo... She's a good friend of yours?" He says, putting down his fork. She looks up at him and nods "yeah" he coughs, looking at her with a stronger gaze than before "is she uh- is she your girlfriend?" Ellie looks at him and says "no"

"I wasn't born last night kiddo" he chuckles at how defensive she's gotten and then she finally admits it-

PART 2??

A/n: HIYAAA POOKIES <33 I know I've done absolutely fuck all the past few months BUT HEREEEEE (please don't come after my soul) haven't been too motivated to write again but I got motivated to write this and YES I am still WORKING on I never existed but yet again, it's not the type of writing I do because Ellie is a little cutie patooti , so I might change it slightlyyyyy so it's not AS TOXIC) love you all x

#ellie x fem reader #the last of us #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie imagine #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie smut #ellie tlou #sapphic #wlw nsft #wlw post #lesbianism #lesbians #lesbian yearning #wlw love #ellie the last of us #ellie x you #tlou 2 #the last of us part ii #tlou ellie #no y/n #modern au

[angelfrombeneth]

OBLIVIOUS - L . BERKSHIRE

A MINI FIC

Lorenzo Berkshire x F!Reader

Summary: *REQUESTED* In which, Enzo and Y/N are best friends and Y/N finds out about Enzo sleeping around with many girls and questions, what exactly IS sex?

Warnings: Talks of a sexual nature, otherwise fluffy Enzo and Reader relationship.

A/N: SUPER SHORT!! Do not expect a whole fic, its a tiny conversation between friends.

Sex.

What even was the point, how did it work. Why did people want to do it so much, so badly?

You pondered about those very questions while you layed across your bed waiting for Enzo. He had promised you, you both would study for Ancient Ruins after your dinner but he seemed to had been widely occupied juggling the Ravenclaw Twins.

"Sorry- I know- an hour late! Im sorry!" Enzo barged in, pratically breaking down your door as you sat up in stick shock of the loud bang of the door pratically swinging off its hinges.

You looked at Enzo, his neck meticulously patterned with various dark purple bruises, scattered all down his jawline to his collarbone. His shirt was messily buttoned, missing a few making him look extremely disheaved.

"You look messy" You smiled, giggling as you relaxed back into the comfort of your plush pillows.

"Don't even, the twins are like leeches" He laughed as he threw his blazer on the back of the desk chair as he shut your door and jumped onto the bed beside you.

"Ah ah- Shoes!" You yelled.

The sound of him flicking off his shoes by pushing his heels together sounded the room as the pair clomped to the floor.

"What you been up to, today then?" He smiled, throwing his arm around your shoulder as you instinctively snuggled into him laughing at his actions.

"Studying, as we should be doing right now" You peered up at him.

"We can study another time, let's talk" He smiled, kissing your forehead softly.

You groaned before setting aside your textbooks and turning to look at Enzo while still snuggling into his side.

"Just studying the whole day? That's boring" He laughed as he poked at your cheek with a pencil.

"Well I like to be top of the class Enz, you know this" You shrugged, tying your hair up into a messy ponytail of sorts as you flicked your legs out from below you to lay infront. You looked at Enzo's neck again as he began to tease you for being such a teachers pet when you took the pencil he hand and poked the end into his neck.

"Whats all these bruises?" Your eye rows scrunched as you looked at him.

"They're hickies- You know what that is right-" He laughed.

"Of course I do, but why so many" You laughed.

"Twins, what can I say" He shrugged and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"How does that even work- How does.. the whole thing even work" You flayed your hands around as you spoke.

"How does what work?" Enzo chuckled as he stopped your hands from moving about.

"You know.." You flashed your eyes, nudging at his hickies yet again.

"Hickies?" He raised a brow.

"No. You know-" You started to grow agitated, poking at his neck and flashing your eyes.

"Sex?" Enzo said.

"Yes that-"

"Why won't you say it" He laughed at you.

"I dont know.." You looked down.

"Are you a virgin?" He laughed, looking at you.

"Of course I am, you think I.. stick myself about like you Berkshire?" You liked at his body with the pencil.

"Ow- Touche" He rubbed his arm. "Its just I don't know, fun? Pleasurable? It's just a nice activity for both parties" He shrugged.

"But why?" You tilted your head.

"I guess in a sense, everyone has pleasure points they wanna scratch and sometimes they can't get that alone so the seek put others to help. It's enjoyable but it's always important to make sure everyone is comfortable with anything you do" He smiled.

You reached forward, ruffling his hair as you smiled. "I see.. I still don't want to- what if I did something wrong or embarrassed myself?"

"You just need to trust the person, don't have flings if it's not your thing. I mean- I know I'm a whore but atleast I'm safe about it unlike Mattheo. He fucks anything that walks, with or without a condom" Enzo groaned.

"Jesus Christ" You laughed.

"You know, I can always show you" He placed a hand on your thigh, smirking as he winked at you.

"Ugh- Absolutely not" You laughed as you swatted him away. "Begone you- sex devil!" You threw your pencil at him as he laughed.

-

A/N: Sorry it wasn't long, I just didn't really see smut for this and it was kinda just a super short mini fic of Enzo and Y/N's relationship. I didn't want to romanticise it I guess? Hope you enjoyed.

#harrypotter fanfiction #slytherin boys #slytherin boys fanfiction #slytherin fanfiction #lorenzo berkshire #enzo berkshire #lorenzo x reader #lorenzo berkshire x reader #enzo x reader #enzo berkshire x reader #angelfrombenethfics

[teamhandsometcth]

A Monégasque Story (Part 3) - Charles Leclerc

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Summary of the series - Y/n is Charles' best friend little sister. They grew up together but haven't seen each other's for years. Their relationship seems to take a different turn when Charles stay at her's and her brother's.

Warning - Both Y/n's and Charles' POV, Fem reader, Both Charles and Y/n speaking French (translated) tension, tooth rotting fluff, three years age gap, mature content, 18+, brother's best friend, friends to lovers, she felt first he felt harder...

Disclaimer: I'm French and my English is NOT perfect ⚠️ Please don't stole or repost my stories on any other sites. Btw reblogs are more then welcomed.

I blink lightly, dazzled by the light passing through my eye-lids, disturbing my sleep. I stir, fluttering my gaze around, taking in my surrounding.

My sleepy state swiftly fading away as the first thing my gaze fall on is the ocean. Last night events coming back to me rather quickly.

I fell Charles' chest rising and falling under me, his steady breath against my hair.

I lay my hand on his abdomen, hard under my finger tips, as I attempt to softly lift my myself up to look at him.

He's sleeping soundly, legs tangled up with my mine, arms still curled up around me.

I silence the butterflies throwing a party in my stomach, focusing on the fact that Raphael could come up here any minutes now.

"Charles ?" I call in a whisper, brushing my hand up and down his arms, bringing together all the delicacy I own not to startle him awake.

He start shifting, the hand on my waist gripping me tighter and his legs rubbing against my tights.

"Charles !" I repeat slightly louder making him stir even more, slowly opening his eyes. His brows furrowing as his face form into a frown.

He scan around seemingly a bit disoriented, before his eyes land on me.

"Good morning grumpy face" I smile, passing my finger between his brow easing up his slight frown, making him smile.

"Bonjour" he let out in a deep morning voice. His smile slowly switching places with a blush as he take note of our little cuddle session.

He clear his throat letting go of his grip on my waist, sitting upright.

"How late do you think it is ?" he question as I untangled my legs from his, adjusting my clothes.

"Don't know, toward 8 maybe. Do you want some coffee ?" The deck already hot under my feet as I stand up and push the sliding doors open.

"Yes please !" he stretch his arms out, and I quickly look away focussing on my task.

I take three mugs out of the cabinets, and try to start the coffee machine without success. I verify that it's not missing water in the tray, but everything looks fine.

"You need help ?" Charles says behind me. He doesn't wait for me to answer and I fell his chest against my back as he start the machine.

I breath out, slightly flushed. Ok so I guess we're touchy all the time now.

"It was that easy ?" I laugh, watching the coffee drop in the mug.

"It's easier when you press the right button." Charles says cheekily as I turn around in his arms to face him.

"Bonjour" My brother cheers coming up the stairs, making Charles immediately move away from me.

I try to contain my smile at his reaction. what a chicken.

"Salut Raph." (Hi) I great, extending a coffee mug toward him.

......

Not wanting to waste such a pretty weather, we decided to spend the day on the boat.

And let be honest, we have nothing better to do.

I immediately called Gisele telling her to come hang with us, while Charles called Joris, Riccardo & Marta.

Gisele started asking hundred and more questions. She's always up for the tea.

It's been so long since I saw them all together, I'm super excited.

When we came back to the shore,

Raphael took a trip to a bakery not to far from the marina to get us some croissants and pains au chocolat, as we waited for the others to arrive.

I'm at the bathroom door practically in the hallway, trying to put enough distance between me and the mirror as I arrange my hair a little.

The mirror is placed a bit to law, making it hard for me to see myself standing closer.

I'm still in the clothes Charles gave to me yesterday since I don't have anything to change in.

"Are you going to swim in underwear" Charles says as he emerge from his bedroom that he got changed into.

I let my eyes linger on his muscles a second before looking back up at him. This man is a sight to see.

"You wish !" I answer in a chuckled, "I asked Gisele to take a swimsuit for me."

He nod "That's sad, would of had a nice view today" He says with a teasing tone.

"Yeah, plus my underwear were matching red ones ! But don't worry you're still going to have a nice view." I blurted out confidently, not thinking to much about the words getting out of my mouth.

The self questioning arriving only as I observe Charles being lost for words, with crimson cheeks.

"Il y'a quelqu'un ?" (Is someone there?) Marta's voice rang from upstairs. Saved by the bell.

"Downstairs" I shout back, "We're coming" i say starting to make my way up the stairs.

I see Ricardo first, "Hi, it's been so long" I say embracing him in a hug.

"How are you doing ?" He say squeezing me one last time before pulling away.

"Great, great ! Happy to be on summer break." I say happily, returning the question.

I see Joris arrive and I immediately make my way to him.

He catch me in his arms, pulling me against him.

We've seen each other's last week but I still missed him.

Joris and I have gotten closer for the past four years. He's been with me through a lot and his friendship as been so precious to me.

"It's been a while" I say kissing his cheek. He let out a laugh before losing his grip around me.

Charles look at us with an expression I cannot decipher for a short instant, before starting to great everyone.

........

When Gisele and Raphael arrive back on the boat, Charles meet Gisele and it's like they have known each other's forever.

The girls and I make our way downstairs to my temporary bedroom.

I change into the pink swimsuit Gisele got me, it's a little tight since she's more petite than me, but it's still pretty fitting.

"So you got some stuff to tell me. How is it going with Charles ?" Gisele ask, ready to gossip as she put some sunscreen on.

"Well, great I think ? He's a tease but that's not new." I chuckled while they look at me knowingly.

Marta put the cutest little swimsuit on baby Chiara, making my heart melt.

"And are you more on the « i missed my friend » or the « my crush is back » side" Marta ask.

I think about it for a second before answering "The « I missed my friend » side."

They turn to look at me, surprised by my answer.

"Oh yeah ?" Gisele let out confused.

"I'm not going to lie saying I'm not attracted to him anymore, but I don't want a relationship with him. I know he wouldn't give me what I need and vice versa " I say honestly.

Charles is incredible, he's such a good friend and a good person but I want serious and from what I saw he's not ready for that.

Marta nod knowing exactly what I'm talking about. "That's sucks" she says putting a little hat on baby C.

I shook my head "No it doesn't. I have a long summer break ahead of me and I intend to make the best of it"

"Ah ok we're in that mood !" She laugh. I nod with a sheepish grin.

I put a wide white shirt on, put some sunscreen and we make our way back upstairs.

Once Charles find a good spot, he stop the boat.

"Who want to go for a swim ?" Joris say, taking his shirt off, quickly joined by Raphael.

"I want to !" Gisele let out exited "it's too hot up here"

"Anyone else ?" Joris ask, I shook my head, the other doing the same.

"Have fun" I tell him, making him smile.

I walk to the deck table, taking a sit in front of Marta and baby C. "You look so adorable in that little outfit Chiara"

I say in aww.

She extend her arms toward me "do you want to go with auntie Y/n ?" Marta ask her, already knowing the answer.

I take her in my arms giving her a big hug before sitting her on my lap.

I spot Charles making his way to us from the corner of my eyes. He sit down beside me, joined by Riccardo.

The table is quickly filled with conversation, catching up and interrogatories. Letting little to none space for silence during the next 30 minutes.

The discussion take a turn when suddenly everyone became really interested with sharing past relationships experiences.

Marta and Riccardo tell us about their relationship and the one they add before, and surprisingly I learn a lot.

"Yeah let just say that my last tries weren't productive" Charles say laughing it out.

"C'est le moins qu'on puisse dire" (it's an understatement) Marta mutter under her breath.

"I heard that " Charles says making it seem like he was hurt by the comment.

"And you Y/n ? how is it going ?" Riccardo ask me curiously. He already know a big part of my drama of a love life but it's been a while since he had an update.

Growing up I always thought Raphael friends wouldn't be more for me than my big brother's friends, but the thing is that they are my family now. They are always there when you need them and they play such an important part in my life.

I smile at him "Well this is getting good honestly, I don't have anyone at the moment and it fells great. I really want to enjoy this summer break and meet new people and yeah enjoy" I say taking a bit of my croissant.

Riccardo laugh out loud, understanding what I mean "oh we're in that mood" he says with a pointed look.

"You and Marta are the same, you should marry each other." I tease turning to look at Charles who was weirdly silent for the past 5 minutes.

He was already looking at me intently, with a perplexed expression.

I get up and take my white shirt off, wish left me in my pink swimsuit.

" I'm going for a swim" I informed them, putting my stuff on the seat and putting my cap on.

Charles is looking at my me the all time, his eyes going back and forth between my face and my body, staying a bit longer on my breast.

I sway my hips a little while walking away, knowing I had Charles' attention. The fact that I won't be with him doesn't mean I cannot tease him. And since he seem to appreciate my body I'm doing him a favour.

....

We took the time to eat lunch then hang around talking around coffee and tea and swim a little more till 3pm. Then someone got the idea to go out take some drinks tonight so we got home and started to get ready.

After getting dressed, I make my way back to the now empty bathroom so I can put some perfume and my hearings on. And like every single time, I struggle with finding the holes. Im honestly starting to think that they're closing and Im remaking them every time.

Felling eyes on me I look up, just to again cross a soft blueish pair in the reflection.

"You look beautiful" he mutter gazing at my outfit. "And you look handsome" I tell him, blushing at his comment. and it was true. What he was wearing was so simple and yet he managed to look absolutely breath taking in it.

"Are you two ready to go?" my brother ask, entering the bathroom. Charles and I look away from each other, our attention shifting on Raphael.

"Yeah, I think so, just need to put some shoes on and grab my bag."

........

Charles' POV

I try to be attentive at what Raphael talking about but I'm a bit too caught up in my head. I catch a silhouette in the corner of my eyes so I look up only to see her at the bar, watching people dance while smiling to herself. She's so cute I can't.

I put my drink down, getting ready to get up and ask her to dance with me, but when I look up I see this guy walking toward her. I watch attentively the scene as they began to talk, a smile appear on her face, she take his hand and pull him with her toward the crowd.

I can see them from where I am, dancing and laughing. I can't help but fell a pang of jealousy.

I excuse myself and get up, I push pass the crowd, I exile deeply and nervously put my hand on her shoulder trying to catch her attention, she look up at me smiling sweetly. "Hey Charles." she chuckle tipsily.

I smile at her and push her hair who seem to have flied everywhere away from her face. I look back at the guy, extending my hand toward him "Im Charles." i say introducing myself.

He shake my hand "Ryan. Nice to meet you."

"Well thank for taking good care of her. You don't mind if I steal this beauty from you ?" He nod, "Sure, thanks for the dance Y/n, I had a good time." He say looking back at her. She smile at him, "Course, it was really fun! Thank you for asking me." Ryan smile back and walk away.

She look back at me with a smile and put her hands on the nape of my neck and began to play with my hair. I let out a shaky breath at the small touch. "Do you want to dance with me ?" I say trying to sound confident. She nod and get closer to me, to the points where her chest is against mine. God, what is she doing to me.

I look down between us as I put my hand on her waist, carefully caressing her skin with my thumb not trying to overstep. The sound of her voice make me look up "I'm really glad that you're here." I try to contain my smile but I can't help but smile like an idiot at her statement.

"I really am too." I say happily. We laughed, founding it impossible to stay serious. I take her by surprise when I make her spin. Her smile gets bigger and she laugh uncontrollably.

God I love hearing her laugh, it's literally the best sound ever.

Her eyes are shining like crazy, and she can't stop smiling, never can I. She's so pretty.

After a while we get back to our table where Raph and our friends are now siting. I see Y/n suddenly quickening her path to Joris arms. I watch them carefully trying to understand what type of relationship they have. But the more I observe them the more it gave me nausea.

She squeeze him tightly, and tell him something whispering in his ear. She pull away and I watch them catch up happily as if no one was there. It piss me off, more than I let it seem.

Joris is my best friend and I love him more than anything, but from the minute he put his hands on Y/n, I can't control the hate growing in me for him.

The hate increasing at the fact that he never told me they were still talking and seing each other's.

After some minutes, She take back her place beside me. I get her closer to me, putting my arms around her lightly brushing my fingers on her waist. Wanting to feel her close.

She make eyes contact with me, surprise by my action. She put her hand on my neck getting closer to my ear. I fell her soft breath hit my cheek as she whisper "Are you having a good time ?"

I squeeze her tighter as I answer "Yeah really good, You ?" She nod and smile sweetly at me. My breath hitched when she caress my neck, lingering on my jawline a last time before dropping her hand back on her lap.

To be continued…

Part 4 >>

I Hope you liked this chapter. I had a pretty bad storm where I live and struggled to post so sorry for the delay.

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[jungkookschin]

to restrain is to love (to err is to love part 2)

synopsis: yea, it was totally your fault for pouncing on your ex husband and shoving your tongue down his throat at your kids' super mario birthday party. (totally romantic!) but after establishing boundaries? despite feeling nauseous, jungkook has to show great deal of self restraint when he finds out that his ex wife is going on a date. word count: 13k

pairing: dilf!jk /ex husband!jk / ceo!jk x afab reader

warnings: mentions of divorce, death, and cheating

to err is to love masterlist

"So, you want me to pretend like it didn't happen?"

Your ex-husband finally arrives home- his disheveled nature indicative of an exhausting day at work probably filled with tedious meetings and unexciting paperwork. He looks like he got the soul sucked right out of his body. His tie is loose around his neck, his hair is swept back sloppily, dark circles prominent, and there's a very obvious annoyed grimace hazed on his handsome face. 

It’s not like you enjoy contributing to his stress, but right now you have to draw the red line and establish boundaries. You hate the way your heart flutters at his mere presence- even when stressed out of his mind. You rip your eyes away from him so the notion departs from your mind; acknowledging your thoughts means accepting- or even embracing your feelings for him, and that’s just something you can’t do. 

After practically pouncing on him and salaciously shoving your tongue into his mouth after your children's Super Mario birthday party, you abruptly jolted from your sleep with regret plaguing your system. Instinctively your fingers come up to alleviate the aching pain in your temples whilst you recall how sinful it felt to have his lips against yours. The butterflies threatening to erupt in your stomach irk you, and you despise yourself for craving him like you are right now.

Even when he’s blinking at you incredulously like you’ve cut him deeply- you can’t help but be soft for him. 

“Yes,” you enunciate sternly; the dramatic roll of your eyes effectively masks how you truly feel, and it makes his heart ache painfully. “It was entirely inappropriate, and I apologize for that- let’s just pretend it never happened.” You mumble pointedly before redirecting your focus back to the soapy bubbly plastic Hello-Kitty dishes piled in the sink.

You brace yourself for a response as hostile as the words you just spewed out. 

Perhaps he perceived the way your body visibly tense because instead of a sarcastic response, he acts opposite of what you’re expected. You hear the soft thud of his briefcase echoing through the room and as a gentle sigh falls from his lips. 

He makes calm strides toward you, placing a hand on top of yours; the soapy bubbles on your hands rub onto his- it even gets on the cuffs of his shirt, but it goes unnoticed by him.  He just wants to help out. His other hand takes hold of the sponge as his body softly nudges you to the side. He begins to maneuver the sponge against the dishes, not gracing you with a single word.

Heart aching in your chest, you let out a concerned sigh. "Jungkook, you don't have to do that, it's alright-"

"I'm sorry for coming home late tonight,” His soft words are spoken in a hushed tone, as if he’s trying to bring you down from how panicked and aggressive you were previously behaving. "Thank you for making the kids dinner and cleaning up."

"It's my job to do that-"

"I know. But you work so hard. I just want to let you know how grateful I am." His words encapsulate the tenderness that has been stagnantly stinging his heart- and it sends an explosion of emotions to your stomach. He’s got this hold on you, and you find it unfathomable that he can reillumine the dull flame idly sitting in your heart. 

"Are you mad at me?" you squeak out, fingers brushing a stray strand behind your ear. He releases a soft chuckle, putting the last dish in the drying rack, turning and leaning back against the kitchen counter. He shakes his head to sweep the hair out of his face.

“Not mad, just a little sad,” the casual shrug of his shoulders enkindles a bubble of confusion in your heart. 

Your mouth dries up. You haven’t a clue of how to respond-especially when the situation isn’t combative in the slightest. You suppose that you adapted entirely to toxicity and hostility that you’ve become emotionally dysfunctional. You hesitate, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I’m sorry,” is all you’re able to muster up.

He smiles bitterly to himself, his sharp jawline flexing as he looks away from you and at the ceiling. For a split second, you detect a hint of pain on his face, but he masks that by playfully pinching your cheek before swinging his hand back down- further adding to your confusion. “Don’t be sorry- you can’t change how you feel. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 

Oh.

The response he gave you was exactly what your brain was looking for, but for some reason your heart is left completely dissatisfied. 

He suddenly begins undoing the buttons on his shirt, letting his chest finally breathe after being trapped in the confines of a tight suit all day. This wasn’t unusual for him to do. Jungkook often paraded around the house shirtless. After all, this is his home, and he is entitled to comfort and privacy. Besides, it’s not like you’ve never seen it before.  

Biting your lip, you swat his hands away and begin undoing the buttons for him. Though the action intrinsically seems questionable, you’ve basically been his little wifey when the two of you decided to cohabitate again (for the children). You wash his clothes, make him breakfast, tie his tie for him- the more you think about it the more dysfunctional this relationship is. No words were needed- this isn’t intended to be sexual or seductive in the slightest- your love language has always been acts of service and this is how you’ll express your appreciation.

He raises his brows at you. His eyes haze over you like he’s checking you out, but he’s really scrutinizing you and peering right past your facade. And perhaps he’s simultaneously checking you out. He can’t help himself- your smaller frame is adorned in one of his white oversized tees, making you look so soft and wifey. At the same time, he finds it somewhat ridiculous that you’re telling him you don’t want him while you have his damn shirt over your body.

Once you get to the bottom of the shirt, you pout slightly and look up at him. Your eyes are met with dark eyes that peer into your very soul. Black eyes scan over you, pupils are dilated completely, questioning authenticity of your rejection towards him. 

At the same time, he gazes at you with so much desire that it hurts.

 “Please tell me how you really feel,” he whispers.

You break eye contact, snapping the strings of attraction that were pulling you together. “Just don’t want to ruin everything again.” you quietly murmur

He brings his calloused palms to rub his face. He already knows. He sees right through you. He’s known you so long he’s confident he’s familiarized himself with everything about you- knows how your mind processes information, knows the meaning behind all your gestures.

What haunts him the most is that he knows he fucked up his own marriage. As the man of the family, he was supposed to hold everything down, and it’s been eating him up that he placed that burden on you.  “I know,” he responds, “It’s my fault- I know I fucked everything up beyond repair. I don’t blame you for feeling that way. The divorce was really hard.” 

It’s the first time he’s ever explicitly said the d word. He places his arms behind his head, his biceps bulging through his shirt, and you rip your eyes away. This is not the time to be thirsting over him.

“I wasn’t the best either- so don’t say that. The divorce was hard for you too so let’s not think about that,” you mumble, staring at the photo of your children stuck onto the fridge with a “#1 MOM” magnet. The cute photo of the twins holding up peace signs stabilizes you. They are what keeps you going.

He sighs. “But I know you gave it your all to save us- and I didn’t. I know that if I put in more effort, we would have made it. I was entitled and arrogant,” he bites his lip like he’s trying to find the right words, “Please let make it up to you.”

His analysis of the situation is somewhat accurate. Though the rockiest part of your marriage was mostly because of carelessness and hostility from both sides- Jungkook was the one who ultimately expelled you from his heart while you desperately towards clung onto hope.

“There’s nothing to be made up- we can’t do this again. Our kids would be heartbroken if mommy and daddy got back together….  just to break up again,” you send him a faux smile with the intention of comforting him, as if your fucking divorce didn’t absolutely crush you. Jungkook’s resolve begins to crack at your mannerisms. He sees right through you, knows when you’re faking shit.

“Is that how you really feel?” 

 A deafening silence washes over the situation. You won’t grace him with a response. No one would ever be able to pry the words out of you.

He speaks up. “I respect that Y/N, but if you ever change your mind, I’ll always be here.”

Your brows furrow deeply at this words, and Jungkook winces at the haze of mortification that appears on your pretty face. What did he mean by that? Is he implying that he’s going to stay single forever if you don’t want to be with him? That it’s you or nothing? What an impulsive and ridiculous statement. As much as you care for him, he can’t just be saying shit like that to you 

You purse your lips.  “I have a date next weekend-”

“What?” The harshness and rapidity of his response doesn’t faze you. During college he was especially possessive over you, his possessive nature never fading even after the divorce. You were still the mother of his children so the sense of protection he felt for you was practically implanted into his system.

“I have a date next weekend, so don’t say stuff like that. Don’t give up on love because we didn’t work out. We didn’t work out for a reason- we can both be better for who we were truly meant for,” you rub his bicep diplomatically, your lips curling up into a polite smile.  

Brushing your hand away, he responds with a look that teeters on the brink of mortification and disgust. “Who’s taking you on a date?” He’s doing that thing where he presses his tongue against his cheek- like you’ve just horribly offended him, and you simply frown. 

“Don’t worry about that- if it goes well then I’ll tell you more, but it’s just a first date,” Growing slightly irritated, you tut because he’s really doing too much at this point.  “I’m only telling you because I don’t want you to give up meeting other people.”

After tensing up he closes his eyes and sighs steadily, expelling the negative energy that accumulated in his chest.  “Okay fine- go on a date. Not my business anyways,” he mumbles lowly, and this pit of guilt expatiates in your chest.  

Before he walks off, your hand automatically latches onto his wrist. “Hey, can we talk about this? I hate it when we fight and I don’t want to upset you,” you plead, gnawing on your bottom lip in concern.

Jungkook softens, regaining rationality before his shoulders relax. “There’s nothing to talk about. It’s not your fault. You’re allowed to move on if you want to,” he reasons, attempting to give you a smile. 

Suddenly, the realization washes over you that Jeon Jungkook looks utterly exanimated. He’s paler than usual and he just looks so spiritless and dull. It saddens you deeply and your purse your lips. You hope it’s from work and not because of you.  “Sorry,” you whisper.

“It’s okay Y/N. Not your fault. We separated years ago- don’t worry about it,” 

Desisting, your lips utter no response. 

“Well Y/N, ‘m getting tired so gonna go to bed.” His voice stiffly trails off before he speaks again. “Can I get a hug?” 

You don’t even realize how pouty your lips become when you lean into his embrace, hugging him from the side. 

Gosh. Is this what we’ve come to?

A side hug?

You and this man used to be madly in love, unable to keep your hands off of each other- so passionate and so intense. It’s genuinely crazy that's left.

 A side hug.

–

When you stepped into work that morning, asking a man on a date was the last thing on your list. In fact, the notion never existed because you making the first move? Disgusting. Totally defeminizing. 

"Ew, is this what people like?" Your coworker Soyeon peeks over your shoulder, scrutinizing the monitor. She grimaces while she makes an ugh sound with her lips, eliciting a lighthearted giggle from you.

You currently work for a luxury cosmetics brand called Belle Meraviglie, as lead of the analytics team at the Korea headquarters. Basically, you’re in charge of data mining, transforming survey results into applicable suggestions for product development. There’s a lot of math and statistics involved, which occasionally makes you question why you’re in this field because you can’t do math for shit. 

Though your job sounds tedious, the average workday is filled with jovial playfulness thanks to your coworkers.

Right now, you're inspecting the results of a recent survey about optimal lip shades for each season. Surprisingly, this ugly ass peach shade popped up as the number one result for fall, which you (and Soyeon) are not fucking with. With one tap of the keyboard, the results are modified into a line graph, and you swivel your office chair around 180 degrees, facing Soyeon.

"Hey, if it brings us in more money then it's good to me," you joke, eliciting a playful eye roll from your friend. 

“Of course, it’s all about the money for you…” 

A lightbulb seemingly appears on top of her head, and she really starts to regurgitate her thoughts. "I really want a chocolate croissant right now," she expresses aloud, very unsubtly you may add, so you quickly become suspicious, narrowing your eyes at her. Giving you her classic puppy dog eyes, you give her a knowing look before relenting.

"Fine."

Perks of working for a luxury brand is that there's a Starbucks cafe on the second floor of the office. You have to admit that the chocolate croissants are to die for, hence why you're willing to walk all the way to the elevator and to the cafe to buy Soyeon one.

Unsurprisingly, the line at the cafe is pretty long, wrapping around the corner of the interior of the building. Chocolate croissants are delicious, and you love the way the buttery dough melts in your mouth, so you're more than willing to wait it out. Your arms are linked with Soyeon's so you won't be separated amongst the crowd of buzzing employees rushing to get their coffee or snacks.

Looking around, you really conceptualize the diversity of your workplace. People of all ages and colors flock around the lobby; you're noticing that there are a lot more young people around, probably college interns. 

Amongst your scrutiny of the people walking in and out, you gracelessly walk straight into a brick wall of a man, even despite Soyeon's efforts of driving you away from bumping into people.

The man turns around and you begin hastily apologizing. Soyeon follows your lead. "I'm sorry!" you urgently express, but when you straighten your body, you realize that the brick wall is a familiar face. 

"Y/N?"

"Seokjin?" you mimic his confused tone, the two of you blink at each other before you both burst out into laughter at your clumsy antics.

You give him a warm one-armed embrace, delicately brushing Soyeon off to the side. (uncannily similar to when you used to force your friends to follow your tracks, so you’d muster up the courage to talk to your middle school crush)

But in reality, this situation couldn’t be any more different.

 Seokjin is actually head of the marketing department- so a manager like you.  During monthly meetings, you go out of your way to ensure the seat beside you is vacant for Seokjin. Coughing excessively into your arm to ward off everyone else,  but then when Seokjin walks in, you’re magically healed!

When you were abysmally stumbling through the divorce with your ex-husband, Seokjin was a saving grace. Being a divorced father of two kids himself, he empathized with you whole heartedly, heroically taking responsibility for your work while you took the time to mentally recuperate.

"How have you been?" he exclaims, beaming at you. Seokjin is always bubbly and radiant at work,  something you found comfort in whenever you interacted with him.

"I've been really good! We actually got the report back on the survey for the new lip product..." you trail off, "The shade the stakeholders chose is really ugly," you whisper, making Seokjin lightheartedly chuckle.

"Well," he begins. "If it brings us money then that's all that matters!"

You dramatically gasp before playfully smacking him on the chest. "That's what I said too!" You join him in his contagious laughter; it's just so easy to get along with him.

After the laughter dies down, Seokjin wipes a fake tear from his eye. "So, how're the twins?" he inquires, and you beam at him.

"They're awesome. How are your boys?"

Seokjin has two boys, who are a lot older than your kids. His oldest Seokmin is 14 and his youngest Seokjoon should be 12 or 13 by now. Seokjin shoots you a comically petrified look before shaking his head and exhaling deeply.

"Seokmin is in high school," he dramatically enunciates, as if it's the scariest thing in the world. It really is, though. You're horror stricken but thrilled for your kids to get to that stage, but you'll handle it when the time comes. "He actually brought home a girl the other day- it scared the shit out of me and his brother," he jokes, making you smile at his silliness.

"Awe, don't say that," you coo, "So was she his girlfriend?" you inquire, to which Seokjin shakes his head.

"They're in the 'talking' stage, so not dating but they kind of are," Seokjin explains, before feigning faux shock to dramaticize the situation. "What the hell does that even mean? I told him that if he likes her he should just ask her out, but he said that no one does that and it'd make him look weird," he elaborates while he rolls his eyes and shakes his head, which just makes you laugh.

"I've never heard of that before. Maybe we're getting too old," you kiss your teeth, making a yikes sound.

Seokjin shakes his head. "Us? Old? Never that. My boys still can't beat me in a sparring match, so I'd say I'm young as ever."

This catches your attention, and you perk up a bit. "I forgot that your kids do Taekwondo!" you exclaim. "Did Seokjoong finally get his blackbelt?"

"He actually did last month! Hey- the offer still stands. If little Haru wants to start Taekwondo, I can get my boys to take him to class. He'll be in good hands," Seokjin suggests with a casual shrug.

You get soft at the thought of Haru in a Taekwondo uniform, kicking boards and doing flips, so you start to pout. "Thank you, Seokjin. I'll talk to Haru's father about it."

Seokjin purses his lips and nods. He hesitates momentarily, gnawing on his lip, appearing as if he is contemplating whether or not he should verbalize his thoughts. He's always been careful not to overstep boundaries. "If you ever want to talk about anything, I've been in your place and I get it. You can always text or call," he offers.

You blissfully sigh, nodding your head while you give him a knowing smile. "Thank you Seokjin, I might just have to take you up on your offer," your voice sounding shriveled  and exhausted.

"Well, I have to get back to work now. I'll see you guys later," he looks around and finally notices Soyeon, shooting his hand out while he introduces himself. "Seokjin, by the way."

She shakes his hand weakly, being well aware and slightly intimidated by her superior. "Soyeon. It's nice to meet you," she smiles at him and he returns the smile before making his way back to his office.

You and Soyeon waddle back into the office and settle down at your desks, chocolate croissants in both of your hands. Soyeon shoots you a conspicuous look. "That was... odd," she states, and the expression you give her can only be described as quizzical.

"What was?" you ask, taking a bite out of your croissant. "The barista?"

"No no, your interaction with Seokjin," she insists, rolling her office chair over to yours so that no eavesdroppers would catch heed to the conversation.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you guys fucking?!” she whisper shouts, her facial expressions screaming urgency and incrimination. She’s staring at you as if she just caught you in the act, but you respond with a mortifying glare. 

You clasp your palm over her mouth. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

You feel the sensation of her tongue licking your hand, and you jerk your hand away.

“I have never seen you act like that before,” she points out while she gives you a snobby look, eyeing you up and down.

You roll your eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you bark back, particularly unamused.

“Like a high schooler talking to their crush?!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” you hiss, petrified that your interaction with him could be perceived that way.

“Bitch, don’t try me! You were fucking giggling; I have never seen you do that,” she crosses her arms at you and gives you another accusatory look.

“Oh wow now I can’t smile? Or be happy?” you muse, forcing Soyeon to deepen her scowl while she looks at you particularly unimpressed.

“Well, there is literally vacant dick for you right in front of you, but if you want to ignore it then there’s nothing I can do about it," she continues.

One of your palms comes up to smack your own face. “Someone’s gonna report us to HR,” you grumble, making Soyeon bite back laughter.

“Are you just gonna stay single for the rest of your life?” she then asserts, and the question has you melting into a puddle of realization. The only person you’ve seriously dated is- well, your ex-husband. Since you had your kids so young you’ve centered your entire life around your kids and work, the thought of another man has never even crossed your man.

After the divorce you came to peace with the idea that love just wasn’t for you, but you suppose that doesn't have to necessarily be the case, so you begin to welcome some of Soyeon's crazy ideas.

“I don’t know,” you meekly respond, “Right now I’m solely focused on my kids, so I haven’t thought about it.”

“Well their father has women constantly flocking around him, so you have every right to as well,” she insists.

“Okay but it’s not like he reciprocates their feelings-”

Soyeon raises a brow at you and you acquiesce. “Yea,” you agree, shrugging. "But it's not going to be Seokjin- he doesn't like me like that."

"Dude. He didn't even notice I was there until he was walking away," Soyeon deadpans at you and you laugh, deliberately not saying anything because you don't want to admit that she has a point.

"Plus," she muses, "I can make the case that Seokjin is the hottest guy in this entire building," she chimes in a sing song voice. 

You respond with a mirthless look. She knows damn well that there is no competition about 'hottest guy in the building' because all the men here are either super old, or college interns.

"There isn't that much competition."

"So you agree?" she teases, and her inquiry sucks you in to a whirlpool of quandary. 

Out of all the men at work, Seokjin is the most attractive here- now that you think about it, he is pretty cute. Probably on the more attractive side of all the men you've seen in your life. Maybe you should try to ignite a flame between you and Seokjin. Thanks to the sensation of adrenaline rushing through your veins, you become quite impulsive and bold.

"Shall I try to seduce him?"

"Yes!" Soyeon squeals. "Please! I'm tired of seeing you depressed all the time. Please get back into the game," she pleads.

You suppose that Soyeon must possess some supernatural hypnotic ability, because you find yourself doing something atypical to your normal behavior.

Knocking on the door of Seokjin’s private office, you take a measly step once you hear “Come in!” bounce on the walls.

“Y/N!” he greets happily, directing his attention from his giant computer monitor to a cumbersome you, fidgeting awkwardly in place. “What’s up? Do you have the report for the monthly meeting?” he asks, gracing you with his typical Seokjin smile.

“Oh- um- sorry, I actually don’t,” you say, clenching your teeth from the anxiety rushing through your veins. “I actually came to ask you- well I actually wanted to ask-“

Seokjin pays no heed to your stuttering or the way you wriggle around in his office, just clasps his palms together while he gazes at you fondly. 

“Do you maybe want to get dinner with me? Next weekend?”

His face immediately falls and you wince, instantaneously regretting even stepping inside his office. On Seokjin’s end, his expression actually reflects pleasant surprise, but you don’t know that.

A moment passes where the two of you blink at each other before his hands grasp a stack of papers, straightening the stack against the table.

He clears his throat.

“Like a date?”

Your cheeks blush crimson and you shyly avert your eyes downward, tucking a stray piece of strand behind your ear. At this point, there’s no going back now. Your impulsivity has gotten the best of you. You look up, gnawing on the plump of your bottom lip. “Yea,” you release. “Like a date.”

The shy smile that spreads on Seokjin’s face mirrors the goofy smile on yours. Anyone viewing this situation from the third person would assume you've never spoken to a man before; your cherry red cheeks indicative as much. 

His eyes finally meet yours, and you can’t help but think that he looks  cool. Seokjin tends to emanate approachability. He’s the cool boss- the guy every employee can confide in.

Not now though. You’ve penetrated a barrier no one else in the office has and unlocked the cool and suave Seokjin.

His large hand combs through his hair, revealing a peek of his forehead. He looks so handsome and quite honestly it’s making you giddy. “Yea Y/N, I would love to.”

“Oh- um- that’s great!” you say before you shrivel up in embarrassment. “Just text me and we can arrange a time,” you squeak out before shyly waving and taking a step back towards the door. He raises his eyebrows amusedly before waving back at you, and you return the wave that he returned to your wave, shutting the door ever so slightly. 

“Ah shit. She’s cute.”

-

You wake from bed with a splitting headache. The preceding day just happened to me the most eventful day for your love life since your wedding. Last night, your talk with Jungkook had all sorts of emotions and colors bursting and bubbling in your chest. However, no matter how drawn you are to him, no matter how weird you feel about him, it’s over, and you had to firmly establish those boundaries. 

Any lingering resentment toward Jungkook proceeding the divorce had long vanished- for the sake of your children and for the sake of your inner peace. Honestly, you were fed up with how salty and miserable you always were. You realized it was unproductive was to dwell on the aches and failures of your marriage; you found it in your heart to genuinely forgive him just like how he forgave you. 

After that, your co-parenting relationship flourished, but now it seems like everything is coming full circle again. He explicitly told you that he wants you.

But you can’t let it happen. It didn’t work out before, and it won’t work out if you try again. 

Life has blessed you with another capable, intelligent, and handsome man, and you can’t let yourself blow it because of your complicated feelings for your ex-husband. You like Seokjin. Seokjin is handsome, you click with him, and he makes you feel safe and comfortable. 

Your time spent with Seokjin is reminiscential of a dulcet hot spring. You find comfort in the way your skin absorbs his warm steam emanating from the water. You find comfort in the way he makes you feel normal and validated, the way he accepts you as yourself. Your relationship that had been a cordial friendship for so long has the potential to blossom into so much more. 

Jungkook on the other hand, is a tsunami whose waves violently crash down on the little control you have over your rationality. When you were a teenager, he washed into your otherwise peaceful world and aroused this sense of infatuation in your being, evoking your reckless behavior.

Holding his hand in a skintight bikini while he coaxed you into sneaking into one of his father’s hotel pools. Standing arms open outside your house waiting to catch you while you jumped from your window- my goodness you even had twins with this man!

Had you been a little younger, you would have chosen the exhilaration of infatuation over the sensibility of comfort. Now that you are a mother, you have the lives of two other people to consider. You ought to prioritize the viability of any potential relationship over anything else. 

With the plethora of thoughts banging against the interior of your brain, you fail to notice your son crawling into the bed.

“Hi mom,” It’s like the he popped out of nowhere, kneeling on the comforter in front of you. 

“Oh, hi baby,” you respond, pulling him into your arms and into your lap. 

“Dad said you’re going on a date, is that true?” he innocently inquires, large doe eyes blinking at you dumbfoundedly.

You kiss your teeth. No way he told your kids that. “He told you?” 

“He said that you’re going on a date next weekend, so Heeseung and Jake might have to come babysit,“ your son innocently explains, casually playing with the strands of your hair. 

You soften impossibly when he places the strand of hair above his lip, puckering his lips to use it as a fake mustache. You giggle and press a soft kiss to his forehead. He quickly wipes the saliva off with the back off his hand with the fiercest glare he can conjure.

You simply giggle in response. “Are you mad at mommy for going on a date?”

Haru shrugs. “Not really, but sometimes I wish you and dad were still together,” The casualness of his response halts the gears in your heart, and your heart drops. Sometimes you feel like you’ve failed as a mother for not being able to keep your family completely intact. Coparenting is sufficient, but you’ve always had insecurities about not giving them the full family experience.

Haru fails to notice and continues talking. “But I’m still happy you and dad are best friends. Who are you going on a date with anyway?”

You’re glad it doesn’t seem to bother him and you boop his nose with your pointer finger. “Do you remember Seokmin? The older boy who taught you how to break a board at mommy’s work picnic?”

His eyes instantly sparkle at that, and he eagerly nods his head  like a golden retriever pup.

“Well, mommy asked his dad out on a date.”

“So does that mean if it goes well I can play with Seokmin more?” His fixation on Seokjin’s son leads you to realize that he probably doesn’t even care about your romantic life- Roblox and hanging out with older cool kids are all he needs to make his little heart happy. 

“If your dad’s okay with that, then of course you can.”

On cue, Jungkook busts into the room, daughter on his hip and granola bar in the other hand. Your daughter’s such a little princess, always loving being carried in her father’s arms even though she’s been walking for years.

Wearing an oversized black tee and gray sweat shorts, Jungkook raises a brow at you. “Oh, so you’re making the first move now?”

You ignore him, grabbing your son’s chubby cheeks before peppering sloppy and dramatic mwahs all over his face. Jungkook’s eyes subtly role at your unbecoming habit of using your kids as a mechanism of brushing him off.

“Haru, Hina, you can have iPad time for thirty minutes- mommy and daddy need to talk,” Jungkook voices sternly, and you shoot him a dumbfounded look, locking your arms around your son. 

“Why? I want my babies here,” you complain, and Jungkook sends you a look so sinisterly serious that you zip your lips.

Once the kids scatter from the room, he settles on top of your comforter. He collects his thoughts before he speaks. “So?” he sends you an accusatory look and you mime his expression.

“So?” 

“Since when did you start making the first move?”

“Oh my fucking- that’s what you wanted to ask me?”

He crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at you. “Why are you being so secretive?”  

You roll your eyes. He’s acting like a child right now. You push off the comforters to walk away until his hand latches onto your wrist. “Sit down,” he breathes out lowly and you frustratedly yank your arm away from him, but acquiesce nonetheless.

“So who’s the guy? I think I deserve to know if he’s met my kids,” Jungkook inquires a bit bitterly and you purse your lips into a thin line to express your distaste. 

You relent because the man has a point. You can’t bring your kids around your work colleagues and not supply the details when requested. “Just someone from work, the kids met him at a work picnic a long time ago and Haru really liked his son.”

He projects his next question at you with lightning speed. “How old’s his kid?”

“Probably like 14 or 15 right now, and he has another that’s like 12-”

“The fuck? Are you looking for a sugar daddy?”

Your ears must have deceived you because you can’t comprehend the audacity of this man, and you can’t help but gawk at his shamelessness. 

“Is he rich or something? I just have no fucking clue why you would ask some old dude out on a date. You know I’ll buy you whatever you want-”

Now you’re irritated. Scoffing, you scoot away to distance yourself from him because you can’t stand being in his presence.

“I know you’re not talking. He was around the same age we were when we had the twins,” you reason. As logically as that statement was, it has an inverse effect, fanning the flames of his irrationality. 

“So this guy’s just looking to hookup,” he seethes, leaving you dumbfounded because Jungkook honestly had no right to be spewing this bullshit. What did he mean by that? Is that what Jungkook was looking to do? Hook up? The thought of him with another woman leaves you sick. 

You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief at his hypocrisy. There was no reasoning with him at this point. You know how he gets when he’s all riled up; the best thing to do is to disengage. “You don’t know how insulting you’re being,” you release shakily. 

“And you don’t know how bad you’re hurting me,” he bites back. 

Saying nothing, you get up and walk steadily towards the door, closing it ever so gently. 

“Whatever. Do what you want.”

-

When you return home from work, you spot Haru dozing off on the couch, head resting on the arm of the sofa, already tucked under his Paw Patrol blanket. Hina’s resting her head on her father’s abdomen, her soft snoring mirroring her twin brother’s.  Jungkook’s plopped down on the sofa, eyebrows furrowed vexedly while he glares at Sanrio Cartoon playing on the screen. What did Hello Kitty ever do to him? But as angry as he may be, he’s stroking his daughter’s hair with the utmost gentleness. 

The sound of your footsteps makes Jungkook whip his head in your direction. He gently lifts his daughter up from his body and lays her on the couch, draping another vacant blanket over her small body. 

With soft steps, he mouths the words “We need to talk”  while pointing up at the second story. Sighing, you relent and follow his lead up the stairs and into his bedroom.

The door closes softly, and he faces you. You lock gazes, refusing to look away so he knows that you won’t be tolerating any bullshit this time. After a brief moment of just staring at each other, he exhales sharply. “I’m sorry.” 

You owlishly  blink at him and he continues. “I acted like an asshole, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. After you walked out of the room, I felt so disappointed with myself- like I was still the same guy I was when we got divorced- I’m just so sorry and you didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that,” his words are flowing out and when he finishes, he nervously anticipates your response. 

Emotions swelling in your chest. You nearly look pained and Jungkook is scared that he may have hurt you even more. Instead, you tip toe to wrap your arms around his neck. Jungkook melts into your embrace immediately, arms around your waist while he holds you close to his body. 

“I accept your apology,” you whisper into his neck, releasing your embrace. “I was thinking about it today, and I was kinda-sorta thinking that you might have thought that I was trying to replace you or something, so I was going to apologize first,” you explain hesitantly, and Jungkook’s lips churn into a slight smile. 

“I didn’t think that,” his hands are still on your waist and he’s peering lovingly at you. “You wouldn’t do that to me, but it did make me feel a little... threatened,” he explains. 

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that. You’ll always be the father of my kids and my best friend,” you reply with a smile, and he releases a lighthearted laugh.

“But really, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry for that… and I-I just wanted to let you know that I’ve never thought about hooking up with anybody. That’s not what I meant when I said what I said” he reasons nervously.

You shrug. “It’s not like it matters anyways. You’re free to do what you want. Just keep your kids in mind if you decide to be... Impetuous.” 

Your reaction disappoints Jungkook, his shoulders slumping and all he can do is let out a forlorn sigh. “You really like this guy?”  He suddenly asks, his tattooed hand brushing defeatedly through his hair. 

The question is unexpected, and it somewhat surprises you. You waver, tapping your pointer on your chin while you conjure an appropriate response. “I don’t know. That’s why we’re going on a date.”

He kisses his teeth. “Is he a good guy?”

You hum and step back, plopping on the bed. “Yea,” you bite your lips. “He is,” you conclude while nodding your head.

“He treats you nicely?” Jungkook adds, carefully speculating your gesticulations. 

You smile to yourself. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at that. “He always takes care of me at work. He’s really been a great help. I mean that.”

Jungkook scrutinizes you intensely, and when he perceives the genuineness behind your words he nods bitterly. “Okay,” he sighs. “If you think he can make you happy then I’m happy too,” he offers you a faux smile, and you avert your eyes so you aren’t confronted with the sad twinkle in his pupils. 

-

You know for a fact Haru gets his athleticism from his father, because you don’ t have a single athletic bone in your body. Jungkook has always been eager to enroll his kids into sports. When they were three he suggested putting them into swim classes, but the idea was actually vetoed by his mother, who insisted that three was way too early. 

Personally, you were indifferent- it’s not like sports were going to make or break your kids’ future. Of course, being active would be beneficial, but they also didn’t have to start that early.  Anyways, you can imagine Jungkook’s enthusiasm when his son asked him if he could start playing soccer. 

Now, going to Haru’s Saturday soccer games are encrypted in your family’s weekend routine. 

Saturday morning routines have become familiar. You dress Hina up in one of her prettiest summer dresses before drowning her in sunscreen. One of Jungkook’s friends helps Haru get ready while Jungkook loads the lawn chairs and ice coolers into the Mercedes. Sometimes it’s Taehyung or Jimin. When it’s Namjoon, his wife and daughter tag along- the presence of his cute little girl always being a sweet treat. However, today it’s just the four of you.

Lathering your daughter in sunscreen, you place her mini sunglasses on her face while Jungkook gazes at his girls with awe. 

“Really girls? We’re only going to be outside for like two hours, do you really need to do all that?” Jungkook coos, and you roll your eyes. 

“Tell your father he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Daddy, you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hina sasses her father, and Jungkook scoffs before scooping his daughter up and tossing her up into the air. He catches her and throws her up again, her squeals and giggles filling the morning air. 

Haru steps out of the door, clad in his soccer uniform, cleats laced up, and socks rolled properly. Putting Hina down, he approaches his son. 

“You ready to score a goal today?” Jungkook asks his son, kneeling down to his height. 

Haru jumps in excitement. “Duh! And you promise you’ll buy me and Hina ice cream if I score a goal?” Haru questions, and his dad immediately agrees. 

“Of course. I’ll get the two of you whatever you want, doesn’t have to be ice cream.”

Haru shrugs. Suddenly Jungkook’s awards don’t seem as appealing to him. “You can just ask Squidy for whatever she wants- I don’t really care.” 

Your son’s gotten to that age where he loves acting tough and chivalrous, taking care of his twin sister and being the little man of the family. He’s even adopted the name Squidy for Hina, which makes you and Jungkook eye each other humorously at the cute nickname. 

“Did you hear that Squidy? You have to cheer for me so dad can get us something, okay?” 

Your son’s valiant effort of being sweet fails, because Hina sasses her brother like she does with her dad. “Whatever,  if I see cute boys then I’m going to cheer for them-”

“Whoa whoa,” Jungkook intervenes, immediately deciding that conversation is over. He scoops his daughter up and places her in her car seat before shutting the door. He looks at you with urgency in his eyes and you laugh. 

“She’s boy crazy just like her mom, huh?” Jungkook teases, and you roll your eyes before slapping his bicep. 

-

Upon arriving at the field, you absorb the Saturday morning atmosphere. The crisp blue sky, the nostalgic scent of grass that fills your nose, your children prancing around the parking lot, and your ex-husband who carries the ice cooler on his shoulder as if it’s nothing. Your family walks ahead of you, but you stay in place simply observing them.

A few seconds later, Jungkook whips his head around, searching for you when he doesn’t sense your presence. Feet planted into the cement, he looks at you with concern. “What are you doing? We don’t want to get separated,” he calls out.

Suddenly, it strikes you that you hold an irreplaceable place in this family. You created your two babies; you gave them life. Two beautiful kids, a handsome father, and then there was just you. Sometimes you felt so average you had no clue what you did to deserve this. You can’t believe this is your reality and your heart soars. 

You jog up and catch up to him, slowing down when you’re secure by his side. He laughs, admiring how cute you are. “So ditzy, Y/N.”

You shrug. “Was just thinking that I’m lucky to have you guys.”

Jungkook’s eyes gaze at you, the softest expression on his face. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t know- jus guess I was feeling a little overwhelmed seeing you guys all cute and domestic like this. I’m really happy I have you as my family,” you smile at him, your fingers wandering towards his to give his palm a gentle squeeze. 

Jungkook melts at the action, gingerly bringing your knuckles to his lips to place a delicate kiss on the top of your hand. “I’m happy I have you as my family too.”

Family. The word settles heavily in his system.

Along with his two kids, you were one of his most precious treasures. He cherishes you deeply, would drop everything in hand if you’d simply ask. If family was all he could do, then just looking at you like this would suffice. He loves you, is okay with loving you only as the mother of his children if he couldn’t love you as his wife. 

Loves you so he wants you to be happy; needs to let you spread your wings and find your own happiness. Exhaling a shaky breath, he drops your hand and places his vacant arm around your shoulder. “Let’s go, yea?”

-

On the sideline of the field, you and a few other moms on the team congregate around each other and start making small talk. 

All the moms are significantly older than you, but they still welcome you and treat you as one of their own. They invite you to group brunch dates, playdates, and sometimes drop off home-cooked meals at your door. The group chat always shares resources with each other, like old toys or community events at the park.

After laughing at some cheesy joke, you say your goodbyes and walk back to Jungkook and Hina. 

When you return, Jungkook smirks a little at you. “That was cute,” he comments.

“What was?” you question innocently

“You’re a cute little soccer mom now,” he grins at you and you laugh. 

“Well, I am, I guess.”

“You have a cute little soccer mom group. That’s so fucking cute, Y/N.”

Jungkook sets up the umbrella for you, planting it into the ground while you relax on the lawn chair. Your daughter’s on your lap, and you’re both calmly observing the soccer game, matching sunglasses on as well.

“Do my princesses need anything else?” Jungkook inquires sarcastically. You giggle, pressing your hand to his cheek while your thumb smoothes over the coarse skin of his cheek. 

He removes your hand from his cheek and shoots you a playful glare. 

“Mommy! Haru’s going to score a goal!” The declaration of your daughter has you and Jungkook whipping your head towards the goal post, and sure enough, Haru is pelting the ball into the goal post.

You and Jungkook immediately shoot up, cheering and celebrating. Jungkook grabs your daughter and throws her into the air before catching her. Out of pure ecstasy, Jungkook grabs you by the waist and squeezes you, holding you up whilst he embraces you tightly.

“Hey! What about me?” You hear Hina’s voice and Jungkook chuckles, putting you down and enveloping his daughter into his arms. 

This is what happiness must be.

-

Having to act like this doesn’t bother him is requiring a great deal of self-restraint. 

You stand in front of your bathroom mirror, carefully twirling your hair around the barrel of your curling iron. Your bangs are in a roller that sits on the top of your head, and you’re humming along to the music that echoes from your phone speaker. 

Once you’re satisfied with your hair, you move to the makeup. You apply rosy blush on the high points of your cheeks before your  shirtless ex-husband enters and leans against the doorway. Hands shoved into the pockets of his gray sweat shorts, he observes your meticulous self care routine.

You see him through the mirror, and you have to stop yourself from taking a second look. Thighs are on display, abs are on display, muscles are on display, him just being there is short circuiting your brain. 

“You look good,” he casually inserts, leaning against the door and crossing his arms. 

“Oh, um thanks,” you respond, unable to conjure an appropriate response. 

He stands there, scrutinizing you through the mirror. His eyes narrow at you every time you bring the makeup to your face, It’s killing him. He’s really trying to be mature to hold things down at home while you’re out, but you look so beautiful without makeup- and he doesn’t get why you’re trying to make yourself prettier and for another man at that. 

His lips twitch into a bitter smile. 

“He’s a lucky guy, if you’re doing this all for him.”

You don’t say anything but this immense pit of guilt swells in your stomach. You set your brush down and inhale deeply, while Jungkook strolls to your closet and starters going through your dresses hung on the clothing rack. 

“Which one are you planning on wearing?”

“Huh?” you swivel around to his direction and shake your head. “I’m wearing a blouse and dress pants; I already laid it out on the bed.”

“You wore a dress on our first date,” he adds.

“That’s when I was young and wanted to seduce men with my sex appeal.”

“Well it worked,” Jungkook licks his lips, recalling the tight red dress you wore on your first date back in college. My goodness were you a sight to see, all dressed up for him- so gorgeous it made him dizzy. You were so shy- could barely look him in the eye, and it spurred Jungkook on with the desire to corrupt you.

“And look where we are now,” you conclude coldly, pulling Jungkook from his little euphoric fantasy. At that, he frowns. You didn’t really have to say that. You did a great job of stripping all and any sense of hope from him. 

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort. “Doesn’t have to be like that. I can take you and the kids out instead if you cancel.”

Before you can reply, you both become distracted by the alarming sounds of his two kids screaming at each other. He closes his eyes and releases a sharp exhale, giving you one last look before going down the stairs to take care of his children.

A few minutes later, you join them down the stairs, red blouse and beige dress pants adorned on your figure. Quite frankly, you almost look like you’re going to a work meeting, but just with a tad more style. You pick up some of your kids’ toys and throw it into the basket and join Jungkook at the dining table with your kids.

“Mom, if the date goes well can I play more with Seokmin?” Haru asks.

You direct your attention to Jungkook, who simply sighs. “I’ll have to meet his father first, okay?”

And on cue, the doorbell rings. You shoot up, and Jungkook peers at you like your enthusiasm is thoroughly messing with his brain. 

You scurry over to the front door, opening it to see your Prince Charming waiting for you. There stands Seokjin, looking as classy and handsome as ever. You suppose he’s opted for something casual as opposed to his usual suit and tie at work- the black button up and jeans indicative of that. His hair slick back very prince like, his glorious forehead showing. A beautiful bouquet of flowers is in his hand. “Hey Y/N,”

“You didn’t have to bring me flowers,” you pout before accepting the bouquet and tiptoeing to hug him. 

He waves the notion away. “I always tell my son to bring flowers on the first date, so I have to live up to my word or he’ll call his dad a hypocrite.”

Haru runs up to him and Seokjin squats to his level before giving your son a high five. “Where’s Seokmin?” Haru asks and you swat the back of his head. 

“Haru, say hi to Mr. Seokjin first. That’s rude," you berate.

He blows out an annoyed sigh and juts out his hand. “Hi Mr. Seokjin. Thank you for taking my mommy out on a date. She’s very lonely and single." This kid does a great job at making you roll your eyes.

Seokjin laughs and shakes your kid’s hand. “Seokmin’s at home taking care of his little brother, Haru,” He explains while he views your ex-husband from his peripheral, who is approaching with your daughter on his hip “And I’m not so sure that’s true, she doesn’t seem to be very lonely.”

He stands up and shakes Jungkook’s hands with a firm grasp. 

“Nice to meet you. Jungkook.” Jungkook says, his voice distinguished with the husky tone he only uses as a work meetings. 

“Seokjin. Nice to meet you too,” Seokjin responds, also with his work voice. Jungkook puts up Hina’s little hand for Seokjin to shake and Seokjin shakes her tiny little hand. “Hi Hina,”

“Hi Mr. Seokjin, please take care of my mommy tonight,” Hina says sweetly, and you melt.

“Of course, Hina. She’s in good hands with me, and he offers your daughter a comforting smile.

You turn quickly and place your flowers into a vacant vase, kneeling down to your kids’ level. Ruffling their hair, you place a kiss on each of their cheeks. “Okay kiddies, mommy’s going to get going now, okay?” 

Both of your children give you a hug. “Bye mom!” your kids chime before rushing back to their iPads. 

Rising to your usual height, the discomfort of the situation washes over you. You’re becoming extremely uncomfortable, standing in between your ex-husband and your date. Wiping the sweat off your palms onto the front of your pants, you tuck a strand of hair behind your hair. “See you Jungkook. Call me if something happens,” you say after clearing your throat.

He looks at you blankly, with no particular look in his eyes, the ambiguousness of his expression eats at your skin. “Okay. Have fun.”

At this point, Jungkook should have walked away, but he stands firm simply staring at you. You fidget uncomfortably in place before scurrying over to the door and opening it.

Before you can step out, Jungkook places a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder and clears his throat. When Seokjin turns to face him, Jungkook stares blankly at the older man before sticking his hand out. 

“Hey, thanks for taking care of my wife at work. Really appreciate it man- ex-wife, I mean.”

Seokjin narrows his eyes at the man at the odd remark. Seokjin’s eyes scan over Jungkook’s frame, detecting his apprehension. Jungkook doesn’t look away from the guy, blankly staring at him until a response is given. 

Seokjin grips Jungkook’s hand very firmly. “Of course.”

And though the interaction seems very amicable, you don’t miss the way both of the men’s knuckles nearly turn white. 

-

What was supposed to be a cute and romantic first date turned into you and Seokjin urgently speeding down the freeway.

It started when Seokjin excused himself to check his phone and his face immediately dropped.

“What’s wrong?”

“My son says he’s at a party, and that the party got busted because kids were drinking,” Seokjin explains disjointedly, appearing and sounding very stressed. He brushes a hand through his hair and you can’t help but pout. 

“Oh my gosh, where do these high school kids even get alcohol from?” You step closer to him, peering over his shoulder to read the text. One of your hand rubs his biceps comfortingly because sure enough, the text reads

“dad, please don’t kill me but im at a party and the guy that was driving us started drinking and im scared.”

His son Seokmin sends his location, and when you take heed of the zip code, you gasp. “He’s two hours away? How’d he even get there?” 

Seokjin releases a dejected groan, jaw clenching at his son’s disobedience. Now he has to go clean up after his son’s shit. Great.  

Sighing, he places a hand on his hip. “I’m sorry Y/N, I’m going to have to get him. Do you think we can reschedule for another time?” He looks at you with guilt painted all over his face and you quickly shake your head at the notion. 

“Don’t apologize for that, please. Let me go with you and you can take the HOV lane to get their faster,” you suggest, wrapping an arm around his broad shoulders. 

“You don’t have to do that. Your kids will miss you.”

“They’ll survive without me. You’re always there for me, so please accept my offer.”

Seokjin purses his lips then acquiesce. Nodding, he smiles at you. “Thank you so much. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“This is you making it up to me,” you giggle, “It’ll be fun. I can tell you about all the office drama.” 

-

Seokjin’s a very conscientious driver. His pupils fixate on the road, his foot ever so slightly presses on the brakes so you don’t jerk forward like you do with Soyeon. It doesn’t surprise you- carefully observing traffic laws is very characteristic of Seokjin and contributes to his lovely demeanor. 

The car ride is long, but conversations with Seokjin make time hasten.

“What?” Seokjin muses, hand banging on the driver’s wheel. “Jaehyung and Jungmin had an affair?”

You eagerly nod your head. “Yes they did! You can imagine my discomfort when I walked in on them in. In the printing room, at that! I gave them an ultimatum to fess up or I’d tell their partners,” you elaborate. 

“Huh,” Seokjin thinks aloud. “I thought it was coincidental that they were getting a divorce at the same time... But that’s a really great thing you did, Y/N. You know my ex-wife cheated on me too.”

Your eyebrows furrow at the confession. “ I’m sorry. Some people can be so horrible.”

“It’s okay,” Seokjin dismisses the thought, laughing it off. “She’s dead now so it doesn’t matter.”

At that bomb drop, your actions falter. “Oh my gosh, Seokjin. I had no idea she passed away. I’m so sorry.”

Once again Seokjin laughs it off. “It’s alright Y/N. I use humor to cope so it doesn’t bother me as much. I do feel horrible for my boys, though. It’s a lot to deal with but I’m trying my best as a single dad,” a reluctant sigh leaves his lips, and your heart immediately drops. 

“You can talk about it, if you want,” you offer, “we do have a lot of time.”

Seokjin makes a pshh sound of reluctance with his lips. “I mean, I don’t want to trauma dump on you, but if you want to hear the tea then I can spill.”

You giggle at his usage of the word tea. Why is he using the lingo of a teenage girl? He takes your laughing as a yes and continues to speak while he drives.

“Well, she cheated on me about five years ago with one of her work colleagues, and subsequently we got divorced,” he explains with a shrug, “I don’t regret it. I mean, I was heartbroken- I couldn’t even stand being in her vicinity.”

“I would have done the same. That’s completely on her, not you.” you expressively claim, becoming fixated on his words. 

“That’s what I thought too, but then the kids had  to do the whole one week with me, one week with her things, and I wondered  if I should have just sucked it up to keep the family together,” he explains, looking as forlorn as ever.

The notion pains you; you understand where he’s coming from. Sometimes you don’t know if you can handle being in your ex-partner’s  vicinity, especially considering the pain this partner may have inflicted. Nonetheless, handling the situation with emotional suppression and maturity is the only option for the sake of your children.

“Somehow the kids found out what she did, and it didn’t sit well with them,” he continues, eyebrows furrowing at the painful memory. 

You have your own opinion on the matter, but it isn’t about you right now. Of course it didn’t sit well with them. You’ve been in that exact situation- the memory of your father with some woman is still vivid and it makes you nauseous to this day. Betraying your mother meant betraying you and your siblings. The pain and guilt  you felt for your mother was indescribable. You were never able to forgive him for that.

“From then on, there was always a degree of resentment between her and the kids- and it never really got resolved. So, when she passed away, I’m sure my boys had a lot of regrets,” he finishes, sighing deeply. 

“You’re really a superhero dad, Seokjin. You’re doing everything as best as you can for your boys, and I really admire that,” you insert, and you mean it.

“I’m trying, but I’m not so sure if I can replace the nourishment their mother gave- but I also suppose that she ruined it for herself too,” Seokjin sighs, fingers gripping the wheel even tighter.

“Um, you know, if your boys ever need some mother-es que feminine figure in their life, I would love to fill those shoes,” you offer timidly. “Haru really likes your sons, so I can always help out, or invite you guys over for dinner.”

“You know Y/N, I really appreciate that, and would love to take you up on your offer, but I wouldn’t want to cause strain on your family dynamic,” he expresses honestly. 

For some reasons, his words elicit a very intense feeling of shame that echoes throughout your system. “I’m so sorry,” you enunciate. “You must have been uncomfortable… at my house,” you speculate accurately. 

Seemingly hitting the nail on the spot, he sheepishly laughs. “Not uncomfortable,” he clarifies matter a factly, “He couldn’t have made me uncomfortable,” Seokjin jokes, “But, shit, I don’t know.” He brakes softly at the upcoming red light and leans his head against the window. 

Rendering you speechless, you shrink into your seat in embarrassment.

Noticing your timid demeanor, Seokjin straightens in his seat. “Hey, I didn’t mean it like that,” he perks up, “Y/N, don’t be like that. You can talk to me about it. You can trust me; you know I’d never judge you.”

You gnaw on your bottom lip, the vulnerability of the situation making you want to shrivel up. But honestly you had no right, the man just opened up about his cheating dead wife. 

You shake your head, looking down so he wouldn’t notice the tears accumulating on your waterline. “No, no, it’s not that- I just I feel so awful, going on a date with you when things with my ex are so complicated.”

Seokjin sends you a look of awe before sputtering out a laugh of disbelief. “Y/N, don’t feel bad about that. I mean- we technically haven’t even gone on a first date yet so this” he motions towards you and himself. “Hasn’t gone anywhere yet.”

You sniffle, wiping your waterline with the sleeve of your blouse. “I know, but I want to be your friend. I-I don’t want this be weird,” you explain between hiccups.

Seokjin amusingly sighs at the blubbering mess coming out of your mouth. “Y/N... you are the last thing on this Earth I find weird,” he trails off. “I mean, I am a little disappointed but it’s good we got this out of the way,” he admits. “Do you want to talk about it, though? How do you think you feel about him?” he asks. 

Leaning against the window, you ponder what to say. “I’m not sure how I feel about him. I was hoping that we would get along since I like you,” you mumble softly. “But my ex-husband stays in contact, it's like he has some sort of hold over me.”

Seokjin raises an eyebrow as he processes this information. “What do you mean by persistent?”

Taking a deep breath, you try to push away the feeling of unease in your stomach. “He said some outrageous stuff, saying he'll always be around if I want him back," you explain. "I mean, can you believe that? He's the one who served me papers."

The older man lets out a low whistle. “But Y/N, ou are still quite young. Not to minimize divorce, but being impulsive and immature can cloud one’s judgement sometimes," Seokjin points out.

You don't respond; Seokjin has made a good point, but the divorce was so difficult that you would hate to attribute it to impulsivity.

“Do you think his feelings are genuine?” Seokjin presses on carefully.

“I-I don't know," you answer hesitantly.

"Would you like them to be genuine?" He follows up with another question that shakes you to your core. If Jungkook was truly serious about wanting to marry you again, would that make you happy?

After a few moments of contemplation, you quietly whisper: “Yes, I guess so."

Seokjin gives a half-smile and states matter-of-factly: “And there we go.”

You allow yourself to process the realization before it slams into you like a ton of bricks.

“Oh my gosh I still love him,” and then you place your face into your cupped hands, sobbing at the impact of the intense realization that has been taken over. 

Seokjin is dumbfounded, hasn’t a clue what to do with this crying lady in his passenger seat. The way you’re crying and hiccupping into your sleeves while trying to express how you feel is somewhat adorable; he can’t do anything except extend a hang to pat you on the back. 

-

“34, 35, 36, 37- daddy, I’m getting tired of counting. Can I get off now?” 

“No baby, keep counting- just til we get to 100,” Jungkook’s replies, appearing a bit out of breath and lethargic. He pushes his body up and down against the rug with both hands, as if he was really out of breath. But really, he had an inner fire that he needed to put out or else he'd go mad. 

Making his seven-year-old kid sit on his back while he does push-ups? That is so Jungkook of him.

“You’re a lunatic,” Namjoon calls out  nonchalantly from his comfortable position on the couch. Namjoon’s wife went out for her friends for the first time since giving birth, leaving their baby girl alone with him. 

The conversation in the group chat went something like this.

jungkook: wyd everyone

taehyung: ?? i told you i was in dubai for a meeting

hobi: he doesn’t listen when u speak, always in his own little world

hobi: I’m at a dinner with my girlfriend’s parents 👀

jimin: OMG!! Does that mean…? YOUre asking them if u can propose to their daughter?!?

hobi: yes

namjoon: COngrats Hobi!1!!1

namjoon: im just sitting on myass at home. The wife went out for girls’ night so i’m here alone

jungkook: congrats hobi, have a long marriage. don't be like me🤣

jungkook: wanna come over namjoon? My kids’ mother is out

hobi: lol they were both abandoned by their baby mommies

“‘m not,” Jungkook replies, aggressively continuing his push-ups until his daughter claws onto the back of his shirt and jumps off her father’s back.

“Uncle Namjoon, can you sit on his back? I’m getting tired,” Hina complains before plopping next to Namjoon and stroking the hair of his little girl.

“I can do it!” Haru appears from across the room, his tiny legs sprinting to practically cannon ball onto his dad’s back, and just like that Haru has K.O’d his father for the first time, leaving Jungkook’s (practically lifeless) body on the carpet.

Namjoon stifles a laugh. “What’s wrong with your dad, Hina?” he ponders aloud scooping some applesauce into a plastic spoon to put into his daughter’s mouth.

“Do you want me to feed Lauren?” Hina asks, and Namjoon nods, handing Hina the spoon so she can spoon-feed Lauren the applesauce. 

“Well, daddy’s just sad because mommy went on a date. He’s still in love with mommy but mommy doesn’t love him,” Hina explains, the bold declaration leaving Namjoon astonished. 

“How do you know so much, Hina?” Namjoon asks.

“I just do,” Hina shrugs casually, leading Namjoon to question the health of this situation.

Namjoon scowls, redirecting his line of  vision to Jungkook, whose body is still on the ground like a thud.

Namjoon stands up, his daughter attached to his body with a baby backpack. “Get up Kook,” He stands in front of Jungkook, offering his hand. Jungkook looks up and accepts the hand, getting on his feet. 

“Follow me,” Namjoon commands and Jungkook really can’t do anything but listen to the older friend. Opening the door to the garage, Namjoon lets Jungkook step outside before standing in front of the door like a bodyguard.

“Wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, and the realization makes Jungkook laugh. His misery is so apparent his friend sees right through him.

“The kids told you Y/N went on a date?” Jungkook guesses. “I have half the mind to call her back and say Haru broke his leg or something,” he trails off.

Namjoon looks at Jungkook mortified at his borderline toxic behavior. “You know you divorced her, right?”

“Yes, I fucking know that,” he seethes, “that’s why I just have to suck this up and deal with it.”

Namjoon places his palms over his daughter’ ears at Jungkook’s unbecoming language, glaring at Jungkook. 

“Sorry,” Jungkook whispers, regaining his composure.

“It’s fine,” Namjoon adds. “But are you serious about still having feelings for Y/N? You seemed pretty sure about the divorce.” The comment makes Jungkook want to shrivel up and jump into a hole. He’s tarnished your reputation as a couple, and even his friends are questioning the validity of his emotions. 

Why would you ever believe him? 

“I am,” Jungkook declares. “Y/N.. she’s the only woman I’ve ever loved. I was never able to move on.”

Namjoon softens at Jungkook’s declaration, chewing at the inside of his mouth in contemplation. “Well, I don’t have my two cents to give,” he mumbles, “you already know you have to suck it up.”

He pats Jungkook on the back gingerly, and Namjoon’s analysis that there is no hope sucks the life out of Jungkook. 

“Now let’s go back in and play with your kids. They’ll always make you happy."

-

Seokjin pulls up at the McDonalds, Seokmin coming out with a noticeable sheen of shame on his face. Seokjin unlocks the car and leans back into the welcoming fabric of his seat, releasing a sigh of relief when his son gets in the car.

Seokmin looks a lot older than you last remember- well that’s quite literally how the process of  aging works, but now he exceeds your height, and has a larger and broader build than he did before. The resemblance between the kid and his father is astounding- Seokmin is practically a mini-Seokjin.

Turning to the backseat, Seokjin sends his son a tight-lipped smile and firmly squeezes his son’s hand. “Are you okay?” 

“Yea I’m alright- was just a little scared,” his son responds, before directing his attention towards you. “I’m really sorry you had to come all the way here, and that I interrupted your date.”

You immediately shake your head and dismiss his apology with a wave. “Not at all, your dad and I had a lot of fun on the way here,” you insist, sending Seokmin a motherly smile.

Seokjin looks at you very amused before he glances at the uncomfortable sheen on his son’s face. “It’s not a date anymore, Seokmin- Dad wasn’t charismatic enough to win Y/N over,” Seokjin sighs jokingly.

Seokmin stifles his laughter, leaning back into the seat. “Oh no, what did my dad do to you?” he jokingly asks, making Seokjin roll his eyes at the comment. 

“No, that’s not it all,” you thoroughly insist. “You know, your dad is very handsome, and very popular in the office, but I, I guess we’re just not romantically compatible,” you explain, and Seokjin laughs.

“Surprisingly I believe that. You wouldn’t believe all the crazy things girls at school say about him,” Seokmin shudders, recalling a particular incident that shall not be discussed!

You take a peek at Seokjin, who looks so effortlessly and naturally handsome, especially when he’s laughing at his son’s words. “Yup,” you agree, “I can definitely see that.”

-

The clock reads 2:13 AM when Seokjin pulls into the driveway of your home.

“Gosh Y/N, it’s so late. I’m sorry you had to come with us,” Seokjin sends you an apologetic look.

You dismiss the idea with a wave of your hand. “I haven’t had that much fun in a really long time, I feel like I’m back in college going to parties again.”

“But you stayed in the car the whole time,” Seokjin inserts, eliciting a sputtering laugh from his son. Shooting him a look of playful annoyance you smile at Seokmin. “Please try not to worry your dad anymore,” you lecture pointedly.

Seokmin sends you a lopsided grin, as if he can’t take you seriously considering your naturally playful nature. “Yes ma’am, and I really hope you’ll consider giving my dad another chance," he jokes, making his dad slap the back of the kid's head.

You send him a motherly smile before stepping out of the car. “Be good to your dad, and Seokjin, be good to your son. And hey, please consider playing with my son once in a while” you say, bidding your goodbyes.

Unlocking the door and stepping inside, you’re immediately met with Jungkook anxiously pacing around the living room. At your appearance, he pauses and looks at you if he’s verifying if you’re actually real. You stare at with him with mirroring emotion, just so thankful that he’s here, so thankful that he’s waiting for you, and so thankful that he still loves you. 

You drop your purse and run into his arms, melting into the warm and comforting heat of his body. Though heavily confused, he welcomes your embrace with equal fervor.

With him right in front of you, your resolve crumbles. Your knees get so weak that you feel like you’re going to collapse. Jungkook immediately recognizes it and holds you up. 

“Whoa whoa, Y/N, what’s wrong? What happened? Did he do something?”

You shake your head, leaning into him and letting him hold you while he strokes your hair. “Didn’t even go on the date- his kid called him and asked him to come get him cause a party got busted or something. We drove like four hours.”

Jungkook's shoulders relax, feels like a huge burden has been lifted from his shoulders. Thank God it wasn't for any other reason. He would have lost his mind. “You should have texted me back. You worried me.”

At that you check your phone, not even realizing that he texted you. 

y/n: sorry jungkook, you can tuck the kids in and go to sleep- won’t be back until later in the night. 

jungkook: ?

jungkook: what happened?

You crimson. “Sorry- I-I didn’t see it,”

Jungkook nods his head slowly and understandingly. “That’s okay. So, when’s the next date?” 

Instead of responding, you melt back into embrace and rub your face onto his chest, latching into him like a koala bear. 

“Y/N,” he laughs, “Look at me.”

You look up at him, and with the familiar sight of him peering down at you with concern on his face, you become emotional. You make that silly face you always make when you’re about to cry. You squint your eyes and morph your facial features oddly to hold back the tears, but Jungkook recognizes it, nonetheless.

“Baby… what happened?”

You shake your head again, pressing your cheek against Jungkook’s chest. You can’t live like this anymore. You have to let him know. “There isn’t a second date. Jungkook, I-I’m sorry. I hate pretending like my feelings don’t exist., I want to be with you again. I want our family to be whole again,”

Jungkook looks slightly speechless at your heartfelt confession. He hasn’t a clue of what to say, so he just hugs you tightly against him, gently stroking your hair with a tattooed hand. 

Of course, his heart is soaring at the notion, but this is all happening with such rapidity that he can’t process your words.  “Sleep with me tonight?”

“Okay- I will, just- are you mad at me?” you ask in anticipation, wincing at what he might say.

He softens at how tender you’re being. “Y/N, I’m tired. Can we go to bed and talk more?”

You grudgingly nod, so emotionally overstimulates and exhausted you don't want to think. You let him lead you to his bedroom before you head to his closet and change out of your suffocating clothing into one of Jungkook's oversized t-shirts.

Crawling into bed with him, you use his arm as a pillow and snuggle into his chest. Despite the smears of makeup on his shirt, Jungkook doesn't seem to mind. “Did something happen today?” he asks softly.

In between hiccups, you reply. “Seokjin’s a really nice guy and it was wrong of me to ask him out when I still have feelings for you. I- I don’t know…I just want to stay single forever."

Your confession shakes Jungkook up a little. It's not like he didn't know you still felt something, but hearing it explicitly is a different story. Jungkook sighs. “I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he insists. “But Y/N, I don’t think I can handle you welcoming another man into your life.”

“Okay, if you don’t want me to, then I won’t," you simply say, your voice calm.

“Then,” Jungkook starts slowly. “Do you want to give us another try?”

“I think I'd like that,” you stammer, as you sink into his comforting embrace. 

Jungkook pulls you in close and kisses your forehead lightly. “Let's take some time to think about it, and then let me know how you feel tomorrow morning.”

You nod, snuggling closer to him, finally feeling like home again. You drift off to sleep with his arms still around you tight, both of your hearts beating as one unit now that it’s just the two of you together again.

#bts fanfic #bts imagines #bts scenario #bts scenarios #jk fanfic #bts jungkook imagines #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #btsfanfic #bts jungkook fluff #bts jungkook scenarios #jeongguk scenarios #jeongguk fluff

[cambrinkisbae]

✧.*Not Friends pt 1*.✧

Paige Bueckers x reader

summary- Paige has a new secret admirer that she can't help but love.

word count- 2.2k

themes:

-drinking

-slight angst ig?

A/N- I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS FIC BRO. i have really high hopes for this so I'm praying that people enjoy it. I'm gonna try and make a masterlist soon so that its easy to find the different parts to this but we'll see. (i did not spell check btw m lazy)

I usually wasn't head over heels easily but it was very hard to not fall in love with the girl everyone wanted. Especially when you see her at the same party everyone said she wouldn't be at.

It was a couple months after i transferred to UConn and i had already gotten super close with some the girls off of the volleyball team and this girl Nika, who was on the basketball team.

It was a late night after one of Nika's games and she invited me back to her place that she shared with her team. Of course I said yes i mean Nika was practically my best friend. But this was going to be the first time that i meet her entire team other than Azzi and Inês.

While Nika was introducing me to the girls on the team i couldn't help but stare at a certain blonde that was lurking in the corner. Nika held onto my wrist and led me to her.

"Paaigeee, this is the new transfer!" Nika introduced me to the now more noticeably tall blonde.

"Hey i'm Paige" her attention was now on me. The way she held eye contact almost made me fold right on the spot. Her eyes were making me come out so hard i didn't even notice that she was holding her hand out for me to shake.

That night, Nika was going out with everyone to celebrate theyre win and everyone was begging me to at least tag along. Before i could think of an answer i pulled nika to the side and yanked her closer to me.

"Nika i cannot go with tonight. I think i like paige" Nikas eyes widened at my confession. "I don't think i'll be able to go to any parties if she'll be there. you know what'll end up happening if i get drunk around someone i have feelings for"

Nika may not have known me for long but she knew me long enough for me to tell her about what happened with my ex boyfriend at my old college. For a quick summary, i got drunk at a party while i was with my current boyfriend and there was a girl that my eyes couldn't stop staring at. We danced, we made out blah blah blah one thing led to another. My boyfriend dumped me and may have told the college that i was drinking underage so i got kicked out! anyways fuck him i needed to stay away from Paige if she was in the same room as alcohol if i wanted to keep my sanity and reputation clean.

Every time the girls went out i would want to go with but of course i had to ask if Paige would be there. Yes maybe i was taking things a little far but i didn't want anything crazy to happen and ruin my chances with her.

I was resting on my bed when someone knocked on my door. It was a Monday night and i was alone in my dorm so i it would be absurd for someone to come over this late at night. I stood up and opened the door to see Azzi Fudd, Paige's best friend, standing in front of me.

"K I'm gonna make this really quick cause i have to go soon, but don't be mad at Nika or anything Ok?" Azzi said with an enormous about of speed in her words.

I nodded before she continued on.

"Nika told me about the whole situation with Paige and she really wants you to come to the party tonight and Paige wont be there so could you get ready and go with please?"

I was a bit caught off guard, not mad but shocked. It only took me a couple seconds to decide that i would go.

"Sure ill go." i say dragging out my words with annoyance. I shut the door and Azzi leaves. As soon as she left, I started picking out an outfit and putting on some light but noticeable makeup.

Once i was ready, my hair was thrown into a messy sort of no effort but with effort look. I tossed on my jordans along with a tank top and some baggy jeans before leaving my dorm and pulling out my phone for directions.

I unlocked my car and headed towards the address, which was thankfully only 6 minutes away. After i pulled into the driveway i called Nika to let her know that i was there. She quickly ran out of the party and ran up to me. Her arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly. I laughed a bit at her, clearly tipsy, hug. Finally after she let go of me she grabbed me by the waist and dragged me in. The first thing i could notice were the flashing light and loud music that was playing.

A sick feeling grew upon my stomach seeing and hearing everyone be so comfortable. I knew that it would be hard to go to a party with this many people and this much energy after so long but not this hard. Nika tugged on my waist trying to bring some sense of comfort for me. I quickly forced a smile on my lips and took the drink that was being shoved in my face by Aaliyah. Instead of dancing with most of the girls i decided to sit down at the booth that Caroline and Ice were sitting at. Caroline's mouth shaped into a soft smile as she patted the leather next to her, gesturing for me to sit next to her and Ice. I quickly sat myself next to the girls and tried to start small talk.

I noticed them glancing at each other while the three of us talked. It felt sort of like they felt off about me. I clenched my palms together under the table and blinked for longer periods of time. A deep sigh escaped my lips as they're conversation trailed off onto they're own topic. I quickly took down my drink and set he cup down before leaving the booth to find Nika.

"Nika? Can i go home?" i tried talking to Nika but she was too out of it to even process tat i was next to her. I took a couple more panicked breaths and walked around for a little searching for some other girl to give me a ride until i felt a strong grip against my hips. I didn't even care who it was but i knew they were trying to get something out of me and they weren't getting that.

My hands quickly pushed the hands off of my hips before i turned around to find a random girl standing above me. I thought she looked familiar but i couldn't tell who she was.

"I missed you" she whispered to me, loud enough for me to hear but quiet enough to be hidden by the music.

what. the. fuck. who on earth is this girl? a confused expression was plastered on my face as i slowly backed away. still trying to forget about whatever that was, i made my way back over to Nika and continued to stay with her until i saw Caroline calling me back over to the booth.

"Hey, I got someone to come over and pick you up so don't worry about getting a ride from one of us. your gonna be fine Ok?" She could tell that i was stressed out. She helped me take a couple breaths before i even realized that she probably called someone that was a complete stranger to me. My breath began to pick up a bit more until she pointed to the door.

"Oh there she is." her hand was pointing to the direction of the same basketball player i did not want to be under the influence with. Paige Bueckers. My eyes widened at the sight of her tall figure. I tried to convince myself that Caroline was not pointing to the blonde that i was slowly falling in love with. I took a couple breaths and gave Caroline a quick 'thanks' glance and stood up. There were already a couple drinks in my system so i stumbled a bit walking over to Paige.

"You good there?" she held her arm out for me to grab onto. We walked back out to her car and she helped me in. i tried to stay quiet for the drive but i couldn't resist from making a little bit of conversation.

"so....why did Caroline call you to pick me up? we barely know each other" Paige kept her eyes on the road but it felt like everything was still.

"i don't know ask Caroline? i guess i was just the only person that wasn't drunk ya know?" she laughed a little then turns her head towards me for a second. I set down my purse on the floor of her car. I glance to the side and find a pair of lashes.

I made not have know Paige very well but i knew for a fact that she is not the girl to wear fake lashes. Which meant there was probably another girl in her car. It could've been recent or she could've just forgot about it before. Either way i started to think that i had a chance with her.

It was silent for a little bit until Paige turned on some music. It sounded like The Weeknd but i honestly couldn't tell the difference between the music and the conclusions i was jumping to in my head.

As the music filled up all the silence that was in the car i tried to distract myself by counting every time Abel said 'yeah' in one of his songs. Next thing i knew i was day dreaming about Paige while she was right next to me. The image of her making moves on me couldn't get out of my head. That's when i realized that we were finally at our destination. Except it wasn't the college campus. It was her apartment that she shared with the entire team. As far as i knew, the whole team was at the party so the entire apartment was empty until me and Paige walked in.

The entire place was pretty much clean except for a couple dishes and papers here and there. the only other time I've been in here was to meet the entire team and now here i was alone with the one girl i wanted to kiss since i met her. A couple chills ran down my spine as Paige tapped my back to get me to walk through the door. I guess i couldn't notice that i was just standing int he doorway staring at the living room.

The blonde put her keys on a little hook that was attached to the wall. I carried my purse around not knowing where to sit. I really thought i was being taken back to my own dorm. Guess not. Paige put a couple dishes in the sink to try and clean up a bit. As i stood there obliviously, she went down the hallway into her own room that im guessing she shared with Azzi.

"You coming?" paige called out from the hallway. I quickly rushed to her and went into her room. It was honestly messy but i kinda liked that she wasnt a clean freak. She sat down on her bed and kicked off her shoes. I couldnt help but stare at her features. Her blazing eyes. The way her nose hooked up. Her cheeks which were flushed with a light pink color, but i think thats because it was so hot in the car. And her lips were a brighter pink color. God how i wanted her lips against mine. It was hard to pull my eyes off her but when we looked at mine i quickly looked away.

Paige chuckled and leaned back on her bed. "come sit down" she motioned her hand next to her. I sat down on the empty space beside her. This was so awkward. I felt so out of place like Paige was forced to have me there. As i kept getting lost in my feelings i felt her hand push against my chest, dragging me to lay down in the same position as her. A gasp escaped my lips as she pushed me down but i kind of liked it. Now that we were right next to each other i felt a bit better and more comfortable.

There was only silence for a little while before Paige broke it. "do you like me?" It went silent again. I couldn't even process an answer let alone a reaction.

"what?no why would you think that?what?" i panicked and sat up quickly looking down at her. there was a smirk on her lips as she watched me panic. i guess i was making it obvious then.

Paige laughed a little and held onto my shoulder, pushing me down on the bed again. "its fine i swear. just try to keep this a secret k?" what did she mean by that?

I nodded and turned away to face the wall. "hey." Paige said softly. i turned back around to find her lips on mine.

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